#specially the people that abused erik

[madreemeritus]

I came into a weird conclusion that everytime i look into Erik's face (1925s version), see fanarts or even use my imagination to interpretate the novel's description... i realize there is nothing too bad at all about his face 💀

I mean

He's just a weird little guy with skinny body and a big forehead (more space to kissies 😋), there's nothing terrifying about it. I actually think the ALW musical made an uglier and more noticeable deformity (except the 2004 sunburn thing).

People are just overdramatic fr

[esmiephan]

Talking a little about MazM. Again.

You know, Erik's and The Persian's relantionship is probably the best thing about MazM adaptation. I've seen people criticizing it but honestly i have nothing to complain about it, considering how much frustrated i am with Erik's and Christine's relantionship. They were supposed to be: a very qualified teacher that is in love with his young student who eventually becomes his protegé. And, don't get me wrong, it's not like their relationship was healthy in the novel, after Erik was jeaously and Christine herself didn't show much comprehension when he needed (not counting his disguise as angel). But they were not enemies; it was totally the opposite. They had their flaws, but Erik NEVER forced himself physically against her and neither threatened her safety, the same way she never slapped him or yelled at him/mocked about his tragic past. Sometimes people forget this is a story about forgiveness, and not "uwu evil monster that kidnaps innocent girl". Aside that Christine HAD affection and fondness for Erik despiting her fears.

But MazM decided to turn Erik into a selfish ass-showing groomer abusive jerk whose 10 lines, 9 are threats against Christine and other random people. And for some reason they tried to "fix Christine's character" like if she was "weak" originally... because you know, being strong is being rude, antipathic and using your toxic teacher's abuse traumas as a weapon. Lol. Leroux Christine was strong and enough, no need to make her "dumb girl who helps everyone except herself and then **suddenly** becomes girlboss and kicks Erik's ass".

But this is not about Erik and Christine. Well, no fully. I just wanted to talk about Hatim (Daroga/The Persian) and Erik. These two little gay men.

The original novel never explained how they met and how/why Erik chose his name, but Mazm made a *perfect* retcom that fits completely with the characters they were supposed to represent. Daroga found Erik in the freakshow, he took Erik out of there and he named him. Daroga watched over him and stood by his side during his whole life, he was basically Erik's angel and saviour. In MazM, we have no India and no Little Sultana, Erik's worst abuse experience is replaced by the Sultan of Persian. This king was a sadistic psychopath pervert that loved to torture animals, people and specially Erik.

This situation is pretty, pretty awful. Erik was very, very, VERY young. When Daroga "adopted" him, he wasn't even at his 20. Erik was a young, traumatized and lonely boy who had no one else but Daroga to trust. The game let it clear that none of the people from the palace actually saw Erik as a person, no one cared for him, he was invisible. A young, traumatized, enslaved and invisible boy who was being horribly abused by a sick, violent, much older man (His Majesty). This scenario is extremely important to build both Hatim/Daroga and Erik as characters.

Erik was an orphan, and Hatim was the first person to ever show him kindness. The game also let it clear that Erik loved him as a father, he wanted a loving father instead of the cruel cunt that sold him to the freakshow. Erik needed a father figure. But what he got was more and more abuses from the Shah, and Hatim himself admitted he didn't actually replace Erik's father. Or, at least, he never admitted, with all words, that he loved Erik and cared for him. Sure, his actions showed that he was a person Erik could trust, but they never had a confirmation of their own feelings. Ther limit is calling each other 'old friend'. Erik is needy, traumatized, heartbroken and mentally/emotionally unstable, and his doubt over Hatim's fatherly love marked him a lot despite their fondness for each other.

And why Hatim never confessed or officially adopted Erik? Hear me out, if you actually played the game, you will certainly understand what I am saying. Daroga is gay, and he is in love with Erik.

Do I need to say more? Daroga was afraid of losing Erik during most of the chapters. He didn't teach Erik the difference between "good and bad" because he was afraid of losing him. He didn't reveal his identidy even after he kidnapped Christine, he is constantly trying to see a vulnerable side of his friend and all to have him on his hands. Toxic behaviour? Yes, but it does reveal that Daroga has much deeper feelings for Erik, but the fear of losing his friend and facing his own mistakes, his own feelings, his own faults, it's greater. Daroga is a conflicted man. Look at this line here.

Why does he feel that he is "walking further into to hell" because of Erik? What sins he confessed to god, sins caused by his connection with Erik? Daroga lives in a society that will never accept him as the way he is: he is a dark-skinned persian man that finds himself in love with another man. A man that comitted crimes, even if they were unintentional. All of this conflict explains many of Daroga's actions, such as keeping Erik unaware of his wrongs and manipulating him with the PTSD issue. It doesn't justify, of course, but it explains.

What sucks about all of this is the villainization of Daroga. Yes, he wronged a lot, but he shouldn't be considered responsible for "turning Erik evil". Erik was abused and unloved, who should be blamed for all the mess are his abusers. They fucked him up. He was a fragile, victimized, lonely boy and the world fucked his ass mercilessly. Instead of wasting time on blaming Daroga and trying to portray Raoul as a wise, conscient person (something he clearly isn't), the game should have worked more on how both Hatim and Erik feel about this whole situation. Like, other characters trying to tell how they should feel and act... doesn't work. We can't know too much about what the fuck is happening inside of Erik's head either, another way to bestializate and villainize him. Shit. But, taking from what he have in the game, my conclusion is:

Daroga and Erik were each other's hope, they clearly loved each other. Maybe in different ways, but still, they loved each other. But they were conflicted men, in a conflicted scenario, and they couldn't face their own pain, their own mistakes, and couldn't help each other. The ending was their CHANCE to be happy with each other, but Mazm chose the "suicide vangloriation" choice to give Erik an undeserved cruel doom. Yeah.

Good that we have FANFIC WRITERS TO SAVE THE DAY, HUH? But really, i love their relantionship in the game and i'm kinda upset they didn't have the courage to admit Daroga was gay.

[incorrectmarvelquotesss]

— frozen hearts: day three —

Warnings: PTSD, angst, fluff, kidnapping, torture, sort of jerk!Bucky, self-hatred, family issues, pregnancy (other character), a bit more fluff, past abusive relationship

Word Count: ~8k

A/N: Please read trigger warnings! There’s a few more all related back to PTSD specifically from being in the army, such as gun violence, bombings, and etc. The next chapter will also be given certain trigger warnings, so please do read them all before proceeding. On another note, please feel free to reblog, reply, and leave a book report!

Series Masterlist

Bucky woke up with a start, chest heaving and his hair sticking to his forehead. He moved back from you, barely noticing that your head was on his arm. He pulled it out from underneath you sharply and woke you up. He blindly shoved off the blankets and swung his feet over the bed, running a hand through his hair in an attempt to calm himself down. His eyes darted around, trying to calm himself down by remembering where he was and where he wasn’t. When it didn’t work, he stood up and started for the door.

“James?” Your voice reached out to him, freezing his body in place just a few feet away from the door. You shoved your blanket off, shivering at the cold air, and slowly made your way to him, speaking softly as you approached him. “You’re safe. We’re visiting my family. You met Daniel and Nathaniel, the twins, and Ariel. Matthew and you took the twins to the frozen lake to play hockey. We had my mom’s special lasagna and you loved it.”

Bucky started to glance around the room, realising where he was and why he was there. His breathing evened out a little, but he needed something else. You stood just a foot away from him, holding out your right hand. He looked at it for a good minute, still in shock that you hadn’t touched him without his permission. Hydra operatives didn’t do that; they did whatever they wanted. He slowly extended his hand to yours, squeezing it lightly and bringing you closer. You moved according to his guide to avoid any more panic. 

You knew about his episodes because of Steve’s late night talks. He had let you know about Bucky’s trauma and how he woke up in panic, scared that he was back in Hydra’s claws during his last tour. It was the one he lost his arm in. He had saved a man named T’Challa, a prince that hid his identity in hopes to catch Hydra’s shipments of vibranium from his country, from a blast, burning his left arm in the process. After the blast, he had been on the verge of passing out, letting him fall into the clutch of Hydra while T’Challa was hidden behind a rock thanks to Bucky’s quick thinking. 

When Hydra took him hostage, they had gotten rid of his arm, knowing that the blast had made it useless by damaging major nerves. They had made him sit through torture—which Steve didn’t elaborate on, but you knew that he had seen some tapes and you were just glad that you hadn’t. Bucky’s arm was replaced with a titanium one that worked with his nervous system. But he didn’t know that T’Challa had teams searching for him. Once T’Challa’s cousin, Erik or N’Jadaka, found the base he was held at, T’Challa made sure that Bucky received all the help he could offer. The arm he had now was a gift from Shuri, princess of Wakanda and sister of T’Challa. 

Sometimes, Steve had told you, Bucky woke up and didn’t know that he was safe from Hydra. 

“You wanna talk about it?” You offered in an uncertain tone. He was already so closed off with you and you doubted he wanted to let you, out of all the people he could, in. Unsurprised at Bucky shaking his head, you nodded and let his hand play with yours. You glanced down at other hand, noticing how it was fisted and then at his chest which was still rising and falling irregularly. 

“Wanna sit down?” You were met with silence. “James?” Bucky’s eyes darted to yours, tearing up and glossing over. You held out your other hand, ignoring the shake of his head this time, and kept it there for a minute. Then he hesitantly raised his metal hand, touching the tip of your fingers lightly before jolting his hand back. A tear fell and you couldn’t stop your hand that touched his face gingerly, wiping the tear on his right cheek. He flinched at the contact and you pulled it back, mumbling out an apology. Bucky squeezed your hand, letting you know that he had heard you. 

“Wanna lay down?” You tried, overcoming the urge to yawn. You glanced at the clock over your shoulder, bright red numbers glaring back at you. It was nearing three in the morning which meant that you had fallen asleep about four hours ago and still had about four hours of sleep. You rubbed your eyes, begging them to stay open while containing yet another yawn. Bucky nodded to your surprise, but you didn’t show it. 

You pulled his hand and led him to your side of the bed, gesturing for him to climb in first. He held your hand as he moved to his side, making you sit on your knees as he laid down, looking up at you expectantly. You resisted the urge to smile at his child-like behaviour and shifted down to lay next to him. You felt him tug your hand towards him and you obliged, moving closer to him until he sighed and let go of your hand. His left arm slid underneath your torso, pulling you even closer to him as he shifted downwards. His right hand went over your waist and he shifted you effortlessly so that you were laid on your back. He buried his face into your stomach and your hands went to his long locks and massaged his head. 

You felt your shirt getting wet with his silent tears and you knew not to say anything about this.

———

“Y/N?” Bucky’s groggy voice broke into your slumber, making you groan in response. You threw an arm over your head, hearing the slight cracks in your joints as you did so. “You gotta get up, doll. Your ma walked in ‘n asked for us to get up. Your gran’parents are coming in an hour.” 

“Shit,” you mumbled, voice cracking as you let your arm down and joined the other hand in Bucky’s hair. Something about this moment was domestic and private, and if someone else was to walk into the room, they would think you two were really in love with each other. His head was laid against your chest—at some point at night he must’ve moved up—and his arms were wrapped around your waist, adjusting them every now and then. Your hands were caressing his hair, fingernails scraping against his scalp and massaging his head with the tips of your fingers. 

“Should I get up first?” Bucky asked, lifting his head to look at you. You were already about to go to sleep again after a glance at the clock that said 6:21. Your eyes were closed and your breathing was evening out again. Bucky hid the smile that threatened to show and answered his own question in a whisper. “I guess I’ll go.” 

He pulled his arm out from underneath you gently, smiling to himself when you turned and mumbled out something unintelligent. He turned and got out of the bed, last night's events hitting him like a wave. You had known what was happening; he knew he had never told you so it was Steve’s doing. The way you had handled the situation surprised him because he knew Steve couldn’t have explained that part to you; Steve didn’t even know how to handle him. He glanced over his shoulder to look at your sleeping figure, realising that that was all you. 

Your quick thinking had calmed him down within minutes, rather than the twenty to thirty minute walk he had to take to calm himself down. The way you measured him out, not touching him until he wanted to touch you, made him feel understood. He remembered that you asked him if he wanted to talk about his nightmare and he gave you a shake of his head. You were patient with him, unlike Steve who always forced the nightmare out of him. It had made him realise that you weren’t Steve at that moment. Bucky had always known you were compassionate, and last night snapped his thoughts together about how close he was getting to you.

He was going to ruin you like he ruined himself. 

He pushed off the bed, reminding himself that he had to get ready so that he wasn’t late to meet your grandparents. Grabbing his clothes for the day—a green crewneck and black jeans—he made his way to the bathroom, mulling over his thoughts. He made a promise that he wouldn’t mess this up for you and he was planning on keeping it by being ready by the time your grandparents arrived. His thoughts consumed him as he brushed his teeth and took a quick shower, advising him to keep his distance from you and keep the act on while your family wasn’t there. God, he was gonna be a jerk. 

When he made his way out of the shower, watching your figure sleeping on his side of the bed, snuggled against his pillow. He didn’t want to, but he had to start the act that he had taken up almost three years ago. So he tossed his towel on your side of the bed, hoping that would irk a reaction from you, and grabbed the end of the blanket. Yeah, he was a jerk. 

He yanked as hard as he could, waking you with a start. 

“Barnes!” You screamed, sitting up quickly and swinging your legs off the bed. “What the hell is wrong with you, you jerk.” You swayed on your feet before sitting back down on the bed when you almost toppled over. 

“You’re gonna be late,” he deadpanned, ignoring the glare you threw his way. 

“Doesn’t mean you try to freeze me to death!” 

He almost let a smile break out. “Stop being a drama queen, Y/S.” He had noticed he was calling you doll a bit too much, so he opted to use your last name this time. You narrowed your eyes at him, fuming as you got up slowly then, noticing his towel on your side. You grabbed it and flung at his face, eyes tearing up as you walked into the closet to grab your clothes. He wouldn’t deny the hurt that hit his chest at your tears. He wanted to run in and apologise to you, but when you came back out, the tears had dissolved and your face had turned stoic. 

“You can go downstairs,” you said unemotionally. “I’ll join you later.” With that, you disappeared into the bathroom, locking the door aggressively so that he could hear the click. He winced at the noise as if someone touched a bruise. He physically deflated at the sound of the tap running, feeling more horrible than he ever did. The past few days had reminded him why he had developed a crush on you and it had only grown for the last two days. He had had to sit there, watching you interact with your nephews and then your niece and his feelings had crashed into him like a tsunami. 

He sighed and sat down on the bed, thinking about how bizarre it would seem to your family if he went down first. In those few minutes he started to notice a few things. 

First, he was a lovesick puppy. He knew that he liked you, a lot, but he didn’t know that his crush would come flooding back when he got here. The only thing that kept him away from you was your unbroken character, the fact that you were kind and compassionate. And he knew it sounded stupid if he said to someone else, but to him it was a reason not to taint you. 

Second, he was jealous of Sam. It didn’t hit him when Steve suggested Sam to be your fake boyfriend. He had arguably a good defence that Sam could be overdramatic and be too affectionate. But then the thought of you hugging, kissing, and getting too comfortable with Sam made him blurt out the proposal of him as your fake boyfriend. It really hit him when he saw Sam’s hoodie with you. Yeah, you and Sam were good friends—maybe even best friends—but it didn’t calm the jealousy. Instead it made him realise exactly how jealous he could be of Sam. 

Third, he was going to have to be a complete jerk to keep you away from him. He didn’t put too much thought into it. His only thought was to annoy you as much as he could. Then he finally came to a conclusion that he could easily ignore you entirely—not entirely because it was impossible—to create a distance between the now blurry lines. And that was going to be impossible. 

Fourth, he was royally fucked. 

“Why’d you wait?” 

Bucky’s head snapped up to yours, noticing the emerald coloured dress you had decided to wear. It had full sleeves which came to flow at your elbows and had a pattern at its v-neckline with studded jewels. The torso of the dress hugged your curves while the skirt was flowing against your knees and the lacy black socks reached where your dress ended. His eyes darted back up to yours, knowing very well that you knew he was staring.

“Well?” You tilted your head as you dried your hair with your towel, squeezing gently at the ends. You were ignoring his eyes, no doubt, but he knew you saw him. Part of him was glad you didn’t say anything, but part of him wondered what teasing remark you would have made if he had woken you up like a normal person.

“Thought it’d be weird if your grandparents ended up comin’ early and saw me there without you,” Bucky blurted out, snapping his eyes to the clock as he finished his sentence. There were only nine minutes left until seven and the doorbell chimed through the cabin, proving his point right. You hummed and went back into the bathroom, coming back a few minutes later without your towel and hair combed through. Bucky had to admit your hair looked beautiful in its normal state, even if you disagreed. 

“Give me a few,” you muttered out, taking a step into the closet and then out. You paced around the room for a moment, switching your path and walking into the bathroom yet again. You came out a minute later, looking no different than you had when you walked in. You changed course again, walking into your closet and came out wearing a necklace with an emerald pendant. You walked around the bed, catching Bucky’s eyes before you turned abruptly on your heels and strided over to your side of the bed. 

Bucky caught onto what you were doing and opened his mouth to tease you about. What came out was, “Calm down, doll. Your grandparents won’t hate me that much.”

You stopped folding the blanket and gave him a look. “I didn’t even think about you, James.” Something in that confession stung, but you continued on. “I know that you’ll charm your way through them. You’ve been doing great with the kids and Matthew and Tania and my parents, so your behaviour hasn’t even crossed my mind.” You started to fold up the blanket again, crossing from in front of Bucky as you moved to the other side to fix up the bed. Bucky got up and grabbed the other side of the blanket, holding it up to make you look at him. 

“Then what’s got you so tense?” Bucky asked, furrowing his eyebrows. If it wasn’t him that was putting you on edge, then he wanted to know what was. Your shoulders sagged slightly before you crumpled down on the ground, arms on the bed. Bucky bit the inside of his cheek, debating his next actions carefully. You let out a defeated sigh and Bucky dropped the blanket, walking over to sit beside you. You turned to look at him, a tired expression on your face. 

“My grandma’s the real reason you’re even here, James.” You shifted a bit, the ground feeling way too hard compared to the bed. Bucky’s eyes darted down to your legs, just for a split second, but you caught onto it. You swallowed down the warm feeling that spread through your chest, knowing it was a natural instinct for humans’ eyes to be drawn towards movement. “She’s… conservative. She doesn’t like modern things and she definitely doesn’t like what I do.”

“What you do?” Bucky’s voice was tense and strained with anger and you were momentarily left confused. 

“Yeah. She, uh, doesn’t see fashion the way I do. Honestly, we don’t see eye-to-eye on a lot of stuff.” You let out a bitter chuckle with a shake of your head. “It caused a few arguments when I was younger. My grandma would criticise my art and my mom would go to defend it. But grandma didn’t have any of it. She blamed my mom for raising me like that. I guess—I guess at one point, my mom was tired of defending me and herself and what-not, so she made me put away everything. My drawings, paintings, and the supplies got put into the basement for a few years. Up until highschool, I was attending art classes that my grandma thought were extra math practice. My dad didn’t really give a shit as long as I was happy. 

“And I was. I used to sketch in my notebooks and paint in art class. I took art courses in high school and then took this fashion class where we learnt how to sew and use different fabrics. It helped a lot when my dad had a room cleared out in the basement where I could paint. When my grandma started to argue with him, he stood beside me and told her that I was happy. She and grandpa moved out a while after that. I sometimes think that she hates me because I was the reason she and her son had a drift. I know they didn’t talk for a few months, but by Christmas they’d started talking again.”

You wiped at the few tears that had streaked your cheeks. “I know it doesn’t seem like much compared to what you’ve—”

“Don’t do that,” Bucky interrupted quietly. His eyes flickered around your face as you felt a rush of heat in your cheeks. You wondered if he could see your skin darken with colour or not. “Everybody’s got their stories and trauma. It doesn’t matter whose trauma is heavier or whose is more visible. It’s still a trauma, no matter what.” You blinked at him, nodding slowly as you understood the meaning behind his words. 

“I think we should get going,” you sighed, pushing your hands against the mattress to hoist yourself to your feet. 

“Does your grandma still disagree with you?” Bucky’s genuine concern made you produce a weak smile in return as he got up from his spot. 

“Sometimes,” you replied. “They don’t blow up anymore like they used to. It’s more of a, uh, discussion. I made her sound like a complete monster, to be honest. She wasn’t that bad. She took care of me more times than my mom did. She used to remember to give me medicines when my mom would be at work. Brought me fruits and snacks when I had a busy day. She did all of the things you would expect a grandma to do, just that she didn’t see art the way I did.”

“Does she see it the way you do now?”

“I’d hope so,” you said simply, lifting a shoulder before letting it drop. You picked up your phone from the bed as Bucky picked his phone up from the night table. “Text me if grandpa or grandma ask anything and you need to let me know. Or come and save you the embarrassment.” You smirked and opened the door, letting yourself out before Bucky. 

“More like be the embarrassment,” Bucky teased lightheartedly. “Remember the time you slipped and landed in Steve’s lap?” 

You groaned and mumbled, “Don’t remind me.”

“Or the time you stumbled over Tony’s feet and landed in—”

“Shut up.”

“—Scott’s lap. That happened—”

“Shut up!” 

“—on the same day, right? Oh, and—”

“Barnes!” 

“—you spilled your drink on Jane.”

“I hate you,” you grumbled with no real bite, taking the last step down and turning to enter the kitchen. The loud chatter was definitely coming from there and you knew you couldn’t avoid the smell of panini’s any longer. Bucky grasped your hand, intertwining them with his left hand without any hesitation. Your heart skipped a beat at the gesture as he tugged your hand, urging you forward so that he wasn’t the first one that your grandparents saw. 

“Y/N!” Your grandma said, getting the kitchen to quiet down and smiling widely at you before her eyes landed on Bucky. Suddenly the tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife. “Who is this?” 

“This—this is James,” you stuttered, nervously tugging on Bucky’s hand to get his attention. Bucky wanted to say that you always have his attention, but he kept that thought to himself.

“It’s Bucky, ma’am,” Bucky added, sending a charming smile at her despite his stomach turning and twisting. 

Your grandma made a face at his statement. “Do you have two names?” Bucky shook his head, hand squeezing your tighter than he wanted it to. 

You answer. 

“His middle name is Buchanan, grandma. Steve gave him the nickname when he was younger.” You gave him a reassuring glance—he didn’t deserve it, he thought—and looked at your mom for a bit of support. 

“Do you want some more, ma?” You mom tried, sending you a look to say that she had your back no matter what. You shifted closer to Bucky, tucking your other hand into the crook of his elbow and caressing your thumb on his hand over the cool metal plates to ground yourself. You felt him tense and you went to move away with the thought of crossing a boundary, but Bucky stopped your arm from escaping by capturing your forearm between his arm and torso. 

Stay. 

“Nah, I want some answers,” your grandma replied with a wave of her hand. Your mom deflated at the answer, making her way back to the stove as Tania and a sleepy looking Matthew placed their dishes into the sink and walked into the living room. It was then you noticed that your dad and grandpa were nowhere to be found. “How’d this happen?” 

“We met through Nat and Steve,” you answered, moving to sit down at the island. Bucky took the liberty to pull out your stool with his free hand before taking a seat on your right. His flesh hand found its way to weave into yours and you gave a sweet squeeze. 

Thank you. 

“Ah, that big handsome blond with blue eyes?” 

You bit your lip and nodded. You could see her eyes scanning Bucky and comparing him to Steve. And you wanted to say something, but that would mean letting Bucky know of what your grandma was doing. So you stayed quiet. 

“How long?” Your grandma pried her eyes away from Bucky and looked at you. Your hand involuntarily twitched in Bucky’s, making Bucky look down at you and squeeze it. 

I got this.

“Roughly six months,” he said with a boyish grin at you. His grin made butterflies erupt in your stomach and you found yourself smiling without noticing until your grandma cleared her throat. 

“When’s the anniversary date?” You squeezed Bucky’s hand, feeling like you were floating. 

You go.

“Well, we became official on June 25, so…” Bucky trailed off with a cheeky smile, looking at your grandma this time with his eyes flickering over to you for a second. “Christmas would officially be six months.” 

“Here you go, dears,” your mom cut in, placing plates in front of your two with paninis. “Eat up before they get cold, you two. I already had to reheat them after your dad made them.” 

Thankful for the interruption, you let go of Bucky’s hand and picked one up, biting into it before your grandma could ask something else. About halfway through your first one, Bucky’s hand came up to your chin, wiping some cheese off of your bottom lip with his thumb. Your breath hitched in your throat and you wondered if it was his instinct or his act. He sent a smile your way when you raised an eyebrow at him and let his eyes flit over to your grandma. You blinked and dived back into your panini. 

Once you finished, you were spared more questions from your grandma by your dad and grandpa walking into the kitchen. 

“Y/N! My sweetie pie!” Your grandpa moved towards you, hugging you around the shoulders and swaying slightly. He held one of your shoulders before he grabbed his cane again and extended his hand to Bucky. “You must be Bucky. D/N told me your name and the fact that I haven’t forgotten it means a lot, ‘kay?”

Bucky nodded with a smile, knowing exactly where your dad had gotten the lightness. “Pleasure to meet you, sir.” Your grandpa shook his hand firmly, not caring about the cool metal plates. 

“Nice grip, young man,” your grandpa said, smiling and, once again, reminding him of your dad. He lowered his voice and whispered, “Haven’t met another veteran in a couple of years so it’s great to meet you.” Bucky’s smile faltered before his eyes fell down to your grandpa’s legs for just a second. His eyes met your grandpa’s understanding ones and his smile warmed up. 

“Let’s head into the living room,” your dad said, “if you don’t want more paninis.” He raised an eyebrow at you and you shook your head, giggling. He nodded and ushered everyone into the living room where there were enough seats for everyone. Your grandma and grandpa sat together with you and Bucky across from them with the twins on one end of the sofa. Your dad sat down with your mom and Matthew was sitting on an armchair with Tania sitting between his legs. 

“Tell us about yourself, Bucky,” your grandpa offered politely, waving his hand towards him as he placed his cane against the sofa. 

“I’m none too interesting, sir,” Bucky said nervously, exchanging a glance with you. 

“I’m sure you’ve got something. Steve is your best friend, right?” Your grandpa raised an eyebrow and Bucky waited for the part where they ask for Steve’s stories as a child. “You can't have been less troublesome than him. What shit did you get yourself into?” 

Bucky was left speechless for a moment. “Uh, not as much as him.” He ended up intertwining his hand into yours with a chuckle. He gave you an adoring expression, one that made your heart skip a few beats. 

“That was a given,” your grandpa teased, shrugging, “but there’s gotta be something you can’t forget doing.”

“Yeah, uh, there’s something.” Bucky licked his lips, knowing he had everyone’s attention. He was the limelight and, shit, all he could do was look at you. “There was this girl back in Steve’s first year at college, before I was shipped out. She was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen, and I swore it to my ma. She told me to go for it, tell her how much I, uh, liked her, but then I was shipped. Didn’t see her for a few years and found out she was takin’. Like a bullet to the shoulder if I’m bein’ honest.”

Bucky paused, taking a glance around, even though he knew everyone was staring at him and you. “Probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, not tell her how I felt about her. I guess it was good in a way ‘cause she would’ve been alone for two years after I said anything.”

Everyone stayed silent for a second before Matthew made a groaning noise. 

“I didn’t need to hear that about my sister, man,” he mumbled, throwing his head back and groaning once again. Your mom went to scold him and your dad went to stop her. All while you were staring at Bucky, smiling widely to make your cheeks hurt. 

You knew it was a white lie, but something about his words gave you hope that he didn’t hate you. 

———

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Your cousin, Hailey, came with her husband, Jake, and their kids, five-year-old Vanessa and two-year-old Dylan. She was showing off her baby bump to your grandma—you resisted an eye roll at your grandma’s snide remarks aimed for you—and you and Tania took care of the kids. Bucky, Matthew, and Jake had left the scene for a while, coming back for dinner smelling like snow. You had ushered them up for showers the second they walked into the living room. You wanted to ask Bucky about the smell and if anyone had asked him anything, but Hailey had wanted to whisk you away to plan a late night movie with you. 

You added in Home Alone like always, throwing in How the Grinch Stole Christmas because you knew that Bucky would like it. Hailey raised an eyebrow at the movie suggestion, but chose not to ponder more on it as she moved onto snacks and blankets. You had proposed caramel popcorn, knowing that your dad had bought some yesterday. Hailey had nodded and added it to her list on the paper. She went on to talk about sitting arrangements as well but you knew that was going to change when everyone sat down where they wanted to. 

Nearing ten o’clock, your grandparents retired to bed and your parents followed suit. You sat on a two-seater in your pyjamas, having to take another long shower because of some glitter from Vanessa. You saw Bucky raise an eyebrow as Hailey and Tania took the kids upstairs, leaving you between the men. 

“What’s going on, doll?” Bucky asked, amused by how quickly Hailey had wanted the kids to go to bed. He looked up at you from where he was sitting on the floor, against the sofa where Vanessa had been playing with his hair. 

You smiled tiredly and shrugged. “Hailey planned out a whole movie night.”

“Again?” Jake groaned, rolling his eyes before they widened. “Don’t tell her I said that.” 

You made a motion of zipping your lips and smiled. You beckoned Bucky over, scooting away from the armrest and patting the space next to you. He sighed when he got up, stretching and wincing when he heard his bones crack. You snickered and called him an old man under your breath. He gave you a playful glare and walked over to sit between you and the armrest, slinging an arm over the back of the sofa. You fell into his side with his weight dipping into the couch, not really caring much for the way Matthew gagged.

“What movie is it?” Bucky looked at you for an answer. 

“I have no clue. She asked me—”

“You said Home Alone, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but—”

“Of course.” Bucky rolled his eyes, receiving a weak slap to his chest from you. 

“I also said How the Grinch Stole Christmas, jerk,” you finished your sentence, narrowing your eyes, daring him to utter another word while you were talking. “You’re welcome.” You huffed and leaned against his side, facing the TV that was playing Paw Patrol from the twins and Vanessa’s insistence. Bucky’s arm fell from the sofa, landing on your shoulder before he snaked it around, his fingers brushing your collarbone in the process, and pulled you to lay your entire weight on his side. 

You didn’t fight the gesture, knowing that Matthew’s eyes were definitely on you two. When he groaned and sulked on the sofa, you said, “Stop doing that, Matthew. You know nothing’s worse than what happened on your wedding day.” 

“I’ll stop if you swear never to bring that up ever again,” Matthew mumbled, grimacing at the memory. You snickered and brought your hands up to hold onto Bucky’s arm as you stretched your legs out, hanging over the armrest. With your movement, Bucky’s arm dropped to your stomach, tightening his grip there. Your arms rested right on top of his. 

“You’re not gonna swear it, are you?” Matthew questioned, even though it looked like he knew the answer. 

“Nope,” you replied, popping the ‘p’ and grinning at him, “and you can’t do anything about it.” You stuck your tongue out at him, scrunching your nose and crossing your eyes. You yelped when Matthew threw a pillow at you. However, Bucky had easily caught it with his left hand and smirked at your small gasp. He glanced down, giving you a smug look. 

“I think you owe me a kiss, doll,” he flirted, placing the pillow in his lap and glanced up at the other two men. Tania and Hailey happened to catch his declaration when they came down the stairs, grinning at your shocked face. 

“If you hit him, I’ll give it a thought,” you retorted and squirmed in your spot, turning around to face him and tucking your legs underneath you. Bucky gave you a mischievous smirk, his eyes glinting and darting to Matthew. Before you could comprehend it, Bucky had hit Matthew square in the face, earning a glare and eye roll from Matthew. Tania and Hailey, on the other, awed and cooed, waiting for the kiss. 

“Sorry, man. Couldn’t pass up on an opportunity to kiss my best girl,” Bucky apologised to Matthew with a shrug. “You owe me a kiss, babydoll.” Bucky looked over at you, raising an eyebrow. Your heart jumped at the new nickname. 

Are you okay with this?

Instead of answering his question, you cupped his cheek and placed your lips on his. His lips were soft and gentle, warm against your colder ones. He quickly kissed you back, hands landing on your hips to pull you closer to him. You were well aware of his hand travelling up your spine to cup the back of your neck and the way your leg was now thrown over one of his. You were somewhat aware of Matthew pretending to be disgusted and the women aweing. As the breath in both of you ran out, you both pulled away at the same time, but Bucky tugged on your bottom lip before letting it go. 

Bucky drew his head back to take a good look at you. Your eyes were shut lightly, eyelashes fluttering against your cheekbone. Your lips were redder and slightly swollen, giving Bucky’s ego a small boost at the thought of doing that to you. When your eyes fluttered open, his breath caught in his throat, seeing your pupils dilate at the sight of him. He didn’t deserve you, but, god did he want you. And he’d be damned if someone else had you before him. You blinked and took your hands off of his chest, the skin on your cheeks turning darker with blush. 

He swore he had never seen anything more beautiful. 

“That was so cute!” Hailey squealed quietly so that she didn’t wake the kids up. She turned to Jake with a slight pout—she would blame the hormones. “They’re even cuter than us, aren’t they?” 

You realised you were still straddling his thigh and got off, making his hands fall from you. You didn’t move far from him, thinking that the others would get suspicious if you were to dart to the other side of the couch—or room. You sat next to him, folding your legs so that you leaned into his side and his arm could be slung behind your shoulders. He did so, rubbing your shoulder.

Was this okay? 

You placed a hand over his, squeezing lightly. 

Yeah, don’t worry. 

Hailey jumped up, earning herself a few carefuls from everyone. Jake just looked exasperated by her behaviour, leaning further into the sofa. She came back from the kitchen with a plastic container and some squares of paper. 

“I wrote a few Christmas movies. There’s The Nightmare Before Christmas, Home Alone, Scrooge, The Christmas Chronicles, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, The Polar Express, and Miracle on 34th Street,” Hailey recited, reading and dropping each square into the plastic bowl. “Get snacks before we do the draw. If we all don’t wanna watch it, we skip it and redo it.”

Everyone nodded and got up to get snacks, including you and Bucky. The kitchen was a bit crowded so you and Bucky took a seat on the island stools, waiting for the others to grab their snacks and move along. Bucky put his head down on the island. Matthew tried to grab your caramel popcorn, but Tania smacked his hand and scolded him before you could say anything. Hailey was trying to grab everything sugary, but Jake was bargaining and begging for her to leave a couple of the candies she picked up. She had almost thrown a fit, but stopped when Jake gave her sweet kisses and picked her up to get her back into the living room. 

“What do you want, James?” You asked, sliding off the stool and rummaging through the cupboards. 

“Caramel popcorn,” he responded, voice muffled from how he was positioned. He was hunched over the island and his forehead was pressed against his bicep while his arms wrapped around his head as a pillow. You were surprised at his answer, but poured enough popcorn for the two of you. 

“Anything else?” You had to look over at him to see his head moving side-to-side. 

You cocked your head to the side, wondering what was going on. You bit the inside of your cheek, debating what to do. If Bucky was tired, you weren’t going to force him to stay there and sit through a movie he may not even want to watch. You placed the bowl in front of Bucky, a bit away just in case he decided to stretch his arms, and placed your hand on his shoulder, feeling his muscles relax under your touch. 

“We don’t have to stay up late if you don’t want to,” you whispered gently, watching him pick his head up and place his chin where his forehead had been. 

“Nah,” Bucky started, shaking his head and grabbing your hand with his metal ones. He placed his lips on your knuckles, just a fleeting brush that had your heart skipping a few beats. “I’ll be fine. I can stay up a little, mom.”

Rolling your eyes, you weren’t able to keep your lips from twitching. “You sure?” You watched his hair fall into his eyes, instinctively tucking behind his ears, as he nodded his head moving back, chuckling quietly. “Okay. Let’s go then.” 

Making it back to the living room, you saw that Hailey and Jake had taken up the three-seater across from the TV and Matthew and Tania took the two-seater on the left side of the room. So you and Bucky headed to the other two-seater that was on the right side. Bucky flopped down first, swinging a leg up to stretch it across vertically as much as he could—which wasn’t a lot and left his leg bent. You raised an eyebrow as you placed the popcorn on the coffee table. Bucky took up a smug smirk and expression, grabbing your wrist and tugging you down. You fell in the ‘v’ of his legs and he swung his other leg up as if to lock you in place.

“I’m doing the draw,” Hailey sang, not letting you ponder on the way his firm chest was pressed up against your back. You leaned over, Bucky’s hand coming to your hip to prevent you from falling, to grab the bowl of popcorn. “The Nightmare Before Christmas!” 

You shrugged, not really caring much. Bucky and Matthew groaned simultaneously. You and the others looked amused with how much they were getting along. You especially were surprised, knowing that Matthew could become that overprotective older brother when it came to boyfriends. He was even more on edge whenever you told him about a date after Brock. 

 Hailey was about to get up to grab the blankets she had set aside, but Tania stopped her and grabbed the three blankets, giving them to everyone. You threw yours over Bucky’s legs with a skip of your heart and laid back as Bucky brought the bowl back down in front of you. You shifted in your place a bit, trying to find a comfortable place, and popped a piece of popcorn in your mouth. Bucky reached around you to grab a piece as Hailey put on the movie. 

As the movie played on, you found yourself relaxing against Bucky, occasionally making a comment when the characters did or said something you could criticise. Bucky would also whisper or mumble out something that made you giggle. When the movie got to the part where Jack decides that Christmas was supposed to be improved, you had shifted and laid your head against Bucky’s chest, trying to keep your focus on the movie rather than Bucky’s heartbeat. As Jack tried to take over Christmas, Bucky’s arms wrapped around your waist, tugging you impossibly close to him and occasionally grabbing popcorn. You felt your eyes droop close, the almost empty bowl slipping from your hands. 

Bucky grabbed the bowl just before it emptied whatever few pieces were in there on the sofa and glanced down at you. Your head was laying against his right shoulder, making it easier for him to see your sleeping face. Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed on their own, confused how you were the first one to go to sleep. He couldn’t even remember the last time you had fallen asleep before everyone. He could still remember the day Sam had the great—not really—idea to bet on who would be the last to sleep. Bucky had bet on you immediately. 

Now that you were the first to sleep, it made him notice how tired you looked after your grandma went to bed. Your eyes had wandered with her the entire day, as if you were waiting for her to attack you. Anytime she was around you or talking to you, you would tense up, making a posture that he knew was a manner statement to your grandma. She had eyed him the entire day too, so when Matthew and Jake invited him to play hockey—even though it was an odd number that way—he took up the offer. They each shifted turns every now and then when they thought that the other might need a break. When they had come back, you had pushed them upstairs and, despite your obvious distressed state, you acted like everything was okay. He knew your slightest giveaways when you were stressed. 

There was a slight pinch in your eyebrows and you tended to pick at your nails. The way you kept your eyes darting around rather than fixated on one thing for too long. Even when you were cutting the vegetables, you had stopped every now and then just to take a look around. 

“She’s asleep?” Matthew sounded like he couldn’t believe his eyes. When Bucky looked over at him, he didn’t look like he believed it either. But Bucky only focused on the volume of his voice. He held up a finger to his lips, giving him an apologetic look. Matthew seemed to understand, nodding. Bucky smiled and turned back to the movie, not moving just in case you woke up because he knew that you, unlike him, were a light sleeper. 

———

The movie came to an end and everyone started to get up to go to bed. Matthew and Tania were able to walk straight even though they looked exhausted—Bucky suspected it was training courtesy of the twins and Ariel. Hailey needed some persuasion from Jake, but got up and started up the stairs, mumbling out a quick goodnight to everyone. Bucky only waved at all of them, not wanting to wake you up even a second before he needed to. 

When he was sure that everyone was gone, the only lightsource was a light in the hallway, he whispered your name, moving your hair out of your face. Your arms loosened around his torso, humming and letting your eyes flutter open. You took a second to process where you were and what you had been doing there in the first place, rubbing your eye to get rid of some sleep. 

“Shoulda woke me up,” you murmured softly, not that you meant it. Bucky wouldn’t admit it out loud, but you looked completely adorable when you woke up. He had noticed it yesterday morning, when the twins had barged in, watching in awe as you seemed to glow and entrance him. 

“It’s fine, doll,” Bucky whispered, keeping his voice low since he knew it was hoarse without use. “I don’t mind being a human pillow for a bit.” 

“Still.” You didn’t elaborate more and neither did you move from your spot. Bucky thought you would have pushed yourself away by now, but he didn’t get to mull over it when you yawned and started to sleep again. 

“We should go now,” he mumbled, not really wanting to separate you from him. You nodded and straightened up while he waited for you to get up so that he didn’t kick you with his leg. You made no move to get up and Bucky forced himself to sit up, inching his leg closer to him. Once he was sure he wasn’t going to hit you, he pushed himself to his feet, holding out a hand for you. He watched you consider his hand for a second, glancing up at him with those big E/C eyes. Then you placed your hand in his and he pulled you to your feet, tugging a bit too much and letting you crash into his chest. 

You looked flustered, but he thought you had had enough for today. You seemed dead on your feet even with the dazed expression on your face. Bucky debated his options and opted to pick you up bridal style, hearing a surprised gasp fall from your lips. You wrapped your arms around his neck, his arms underneath your neck and knees, and blinked at him twice. 

“James, you don’t—”

“It’s fine,” Bucky interrupted your protests, giving you a look as he started for the stairs. “Remember what I told you yesterday? I’m too strong.” 

You snorted weakly at that, resting your head against his shoulder and catching Bucky’s reference to when the twins woke him up. “I wasn’t even trying that time.” 

“Sure.” 

“That was the most sarcastic ‘sure’ I’ve ever heard.”

“Sue me.” 

“Maybe I will.”

“You gonna get a lawyer for me? That’s so sweet.”

“Sweet as lemons.”

“Guess it’s a good thing I like lemonade then.”

“I’ll put a bowl full of salt in your lemonade, Barney.” 

Bucky groaned as he gestured for you to open the door. You opened it and Bucky placed you on your feet once the door was closed. 

“I’m using the bathroom first,” you declared before rushing to get in before he could even utter a single word. He grinned at the closed door. Yeah, he was a goner. 

———

The bed dipped beside you and you knew Bucky had come out of the bathroom. “Goodnight, James.” You heard the lamp knob click and you heard him shuffling around. You turned to face him and saw his bright blue eyes staring into yours, making your breath hitch in your throat.

“Goodnight, doll.” Catching your breath, you smiled tiredly and closed your eyes, letting yourself slip into darkness once again. 

[an-angels-fury]

A Crossover Concept (and my Headcanons about it)

I'm reposting this because it seems the tags for the original post didn't work for some reason (or maybe the post simply didn't get as much attention as I had expected it would). Anyway, it took me very long to text this and I put much effort and love into it, so I really hope more people will see it this time. I'd definitely appreciate it ☺️😊.

//----------------------//-----------------------//

(Disclaimer: The relationship that will be described in this concept is TOTALLY FRIENDLY, NOT ROMANTIC OKAY ?!!! I want to make this statement very clear before anything else. And once again, I want to apologize for any grammar mistake. Thank you and good reading 😉😘)

//----------------------//-----------------------//

So, I've already seen many fans making really creative crossovers between Carrie and other fictional characters (especially with ones from horror movies) like Jason Voorhees (Friday 13th), Jennifer Check (Jennifer's Body), Matilda Wormwood (Matilda), Eleven (Stranger Things), etc.

But one crossover I would LOVE to see is Carrie meeting Erik (The Phantom of the Opera)

I've seen a post talking about this here on Tumblr almost 2 years ago (one that I failed to find again, because I really wanted to repost in my page) and I literally fell in love with this concept. Luckly, I printed the post when I read it for the first time and kept safe in my phone since then.

And that just made think how much these two characters have in common:

- They were outcasts who were ostracized by people of the society they lived in, also being seen and treated as freaks for the simple fact of being different (Erik because of his facial deformity and Carrie because of her appearence, her shy personality and her strictly religious upbringing)

- They were mistreated and abused by their own mothers (Madaleine and Margaret, when I find you women 😠🤬)

- They both knew the pain of loneliness and the experience of being bullied and humiliated because of their differences - and these experiences made them extremely insecure, distrustful and resentful towards humanity

- They have the desire to fit in and seeked for acceptance and true love

- They were very special and gifted individuals (Erik as a musician, architect and magician and Carrie as seamstress and wielder of teleknesis)

- Both characters were symbolically associated to the figures of angels (Erik as the Angel of Music/the Angel in Hell and Carrie as an Avenging Angel) but viewed as demons or monsters by other characters of the story (In the 2004 movie, Erik was known as 'The Devil's Child' during his childhood in the freak show and, in the book, he's described as having the appearence of 'a living corpse' while Carrie is constantly called a 'witch' and a 'devil's child' by her mother in the book and, after her death and the town's destruction, people wish her to "burn in Hell")

- Both are originally the main characters from epistolary novels (that were also adapted to cinema, TV AND musical theater) that relate the investigation of scary cases in the stories' respective scenarios (The Opera Garnier and the fictional Chamberlaine town) that no one can truly explain how they happened, the mysterious figures (The Phantom of the Opera and Carrie White) supposedly responsable for these tragic events and the sad, but terrifying stories behind these extraordinary beings

- Both the novels also end with a reflective note in their epilogue, making the readers think about how these characters could have turned out diferently if they were born in kinder circunstances, how they could have used their gifts to make the world a better place instead of becoming the monsters the others knew if they were not treated as such, but were actually truly accepted and loved for who they were

Now, right to the HEADCANONS - come here with me and imagine some things like this: 👇

- Erik calling Carrie 'angel', 'my dear' or 'little one'

- Erik giving red roses with black ribbons carefully tied around their stems to Carrie (and she thanking him shyly everytime while smiling and lifting the flowers to her nose to inhale their perfume because she really loves it)

- Erik singing and/or playing to Carrie always when she was upset, comforting her and soothing her fears (and Carrie being enchanted by how wonderful and unique his voice is)

- Erik freaking out and almost collapsing after discover Carrie's teleknetic powers (😂😆)

- Carrie hiding herself inside Erik's cape and Erik pretending to be annoyed by the act (but he secretly loves it and thinks it makes her even more adorable than she already is 😍)

- Erik encouraging Carrie with her talent for sewing and even giving a little help in the making process of her new clothes

- Carrie encouraging Erik to smile more and exposing the soft side of his heart ❤️ (and he would probably do the same with her)

- Erik becoming extremely overprotective over Carrie, because he sees her and treats her as his little sister (or even a daughter)

- Both being touch-starved people, but hesitant of let the others get closer because of their common fear of being hurt again, and learning to initiate the first contact and open themselves to each other

- Erik gaining courage enough to reveal his deformity, still being afraid Carrie would reject him too, and getting suprised when she doesn't run away from him and even tells him he's 'beautiful' (I think Carrie's first reaction would be pure shock, but when she saw Erik trying to hide it again, she would stop him and ask gently to see him again, coming close enough to touch his face, showing no fear or disgust at all)

- Erik also constantly remembering Carrie how beautiful she really is and telling her to not let anyone put her down or convince her she's less than the special and perfect human being she is

- Both telling their stories to each other and relating to each other's feelings of pain and loneliness (Carrie would be both horrified and fascinated by the tales of Erik's adventures, sympathize with the suffering of his childhood and even comfort him about the end of his relationship with Christine, saying he still would find someone else, while Erik would look quiet and calm when listen to her story at first, but deep inside trying very hard to control himself to not grab his Punjab lasso - he would nurture a burning hatred for Carrie's bullies and all the other people who hurt her, but most specially for Margaret White and Chris Hargensen (those bitches 😡). He would promising himself to never let anything like this happens to her again)

//----------------------//-----------------------//

So yeah... That was the idea that has been running on my mind for a while. I was very nervous in post this because I'm always worried about the way people will react to my posts. I wanted to write this because these two characters are very dear to me and the idea of them, two misfits, meeting and relating to each other and becoming friends (even a family) in the process just warms my heart. Because that's what they deserved.

Hope you all enjoyed this post. If someone want to contribue with new ideas and headcanons, feel free to reblog 😄 (If not, just pretend you never found this and move on with your life, no need to come to offend me just because I said something you disliked or disagreed with, okay? I simply made this for fun👍)

☝️GIF belongs to @mianotgoth

☝️ GIF belongs to @sidonidoneeey

☝️ GIF belongs to @lovely-films

☝️ GIF belongs to @wheel-of-fish

☝️ GIF belongs to @mostly-imagines

☝️ GIF belongs to @phantomasquerade

☝️ GIF belongs to @lizafton

[pepspeeps13]

You know, I don't typically post on this site. Which given my default user pic should be obvious. But let's actually put something down after years of silence. I find how allonormative a lot of fandoms and fans tend to be exhaustive. Just every character ever needs to have attraction to someone else and all them must be open. I think this is clearest with the best Batgirl over in DC. Cassandra Cain. When we first see her deal with the idea of attraction when Superboy(Conner Kent) happens upon the girl when she went ona cruise with the former Batgirl, Barbara Gorden. Who was in her "you need a normal life, why don't you like this cute boy." Now, the entire conversation isn't important to this topic. But response is. See Cass is special in the manner that allows her to read body language but she does more than just read. It's like she can feel what this other person is feeling. A major part of the backstory is due to this element. Now, now, this element also leads to the revelation that when people are sexually desiring her, it invokes disgust in her as she can feel their desire. (Batgirl #39 2000) When she looks at them at least. It's not a superpower like Martian Manhunter's Mindreading, it's a learned ability instilled in her from birth by her abusive father. Regardless, this reaction clearly marks her as sex repulsed. Cass was one of the few characters in the DC side that is like that. I can't even name another. I'm not sex-repulsed myself, but certainly, I relate to the lack of attraction to other people in general. Even at the young age I was at the time of reading that. But this isn't really a element of her character that was considered important by a large portion of the fanbase. Especially the portion that writes fanfics. But also to writers like in the 2020 comic, Shadow of the Batgirl. Where Cass's origin is retold... though somewhat lesser in many areas in my opinion. My main point of contention is the obvious love interest mark. Erik. Nothing is wrong with Erik himself. He's not hateable. He doesn't do anything wrong. But he's interested, Cass shows reaction to that interest too. I don't think too poorly of the story over all. In some ways its superior to the original introduction to her. But in other ways is lesser. But that's a case to make in another post.

[lokislynx]

Sometimes...

*Loki laughs*

Fine, Loki. Quite often I don't understand people.

Like why is it okey to call a cis woman a homophobe 'cause she ships many male gay couples. Like Erik and Nadir. Loki and Thor (not brothers! Specially not in norse myths!). Loki and Mobius... which is not really my cup of tea but I don't mind. Ooh, Louis and Lestat!

Not that I feel like a cis woman.

Does it take something away from other ships? Is that why people get so mad at each other?

Ezio and Leonardo (such an adorable couple) doesn't take anything away from people who ship Ezio with Sofia (so cute together) ⚘ (tulip should be white).

Erik loves Christine but is absolutely head over heels in love with Nadir in another multiverse. Win win.

I see no problems. I do see a problem in a ship that has problematic "moral ground". Like when you are supposed to ship a liked character with a narcissists who abuses them and that's supposed to be cool. Like shipping Susan Kay's Erik with Javert from the same book with the same background story (I don't think anyone has).

No problem if you're not writing a love story but want to express something else like the horrors of domestic abuse. If you add sex scenes in the Poetic Edda between Loki and Thor but change nothing else that doesn't make it a love story. It's still pretty much what it was; a tale of how life and the worlds came to be and how it will all end as it is alsova tale of a god's down fall and how that is the spark for the inferno which brings down the very gods.

I've said it before but I do think that if a person writes a love story between let's say Loki and Mobius and rewrites the characters and situations they are in in a way that's portrayes them in a loving relationship, that a good ship. They made it work. That's what a ship is. It's love and freedom to break free of the bonds of the original story.

I for one love love and it's nice to read good stories about it. I also like interesting characters and deep relationships. Xena and Gabrielle. Erik and Nadir. Louis and Lestat. It's already in the original. With the last two it's slightly fucked up but balanced... fairly balanced at least. With Louis and Lestat it's pretty much "I slap you, you slap me" but they are vampires. With Erik and Nadir it's "I'm impossible but you can't harm me, yes you are but you can't hurt me either".

...

So what is a ship?

Love is nice.

Seeing the other part of the relationship smack and slap the other around physically or mentally who remains passive, that's domestic abuse or simply violence.

The difference is huge.

In fact they have nothing to do with each other.

It's like compairing a person who's rooting for love to a homophobe.

[purplehoodiesimon]

Yr but you're only allowed to answer with fandom inventions (fanon characters and not-canon ships, for example)

Oooh 👀👀👀 This will be interesting

favorite male character: Does he/they Wille count for this lmao, uhhhhhhhh probably fanon Erik. I know he's not 100% made up but fanon Erik tends to be very different from canon Erik if you actually look at his scenes and I love fanon Erik.

favorite female character: Malin's wife, who goes by many names but will always have a special place in my heart no matter who she is

least favorite character: Fanon abusive Kristina. She's not the best mother but I really don't like when she's physically abusive and all majorly homophobic in fanfic because like, parents can be shitty and still love their kids. That's part of what I like about canon Kristina from an analysis lens, is that she isn't majorly homophobic or abusive, she's just not good at parenting. Many complicated feelings there, but yea no I hate when Kristina is like the absolute worst of the worst in fanfic.

prettiest character: Malin's wife because she can look like anyone 😌

funniest character: fanon Erik has a pretty good sense of humor usually. Also putting forth my OC Annie from the poly Erik au for this one.

favorite season: idk how I'm supposed to answer this with fanon stuff uhhhhh. The fanon s2 where Wille comes out over Christmas and they meet up at Hillerska after the break and blah blah blah things fixed yay happy ending 💜

favorite episode: The secret episode we all know about where August keeps his mouth fucking shut and deletes the video

favorite romantic ship: Henry/Walter from sflow's Other people's secrets

favorite family ship: Fanon Erik & Wille probably

favorite friend ship: My Simon & Maddie friendship fics!!! I need to see it in canon!!!

worst ship: August x reader. I have questions.

Give me a TV show/movie and I'll give you my opinions

[midmare]

on a more serious note: the blatant favoritism brain showed midnight. & it was fairly evident that midnight thrived in that, he felt validated by the knowledge that brain approved of him, & it only pushed him to become more twisted. midnight idolized brain. i also think that brain favored midnight because he had the least inhibitions towards cruelty; 'people hurt me all the time, why shouldn't i hurt them back?' midnight is the type of person who has suffered, therefore he reflects (pun intended) that suffering back, instead of trying to protect others from suffering like he did.

brain saw this in midnight & capitalized on it, encouraged it even. midnight has never had a lot of backbone or a firm sense of self / his own principles; he was easy to manipulate into what brain wanted. when midnight saw the suffering of others (at his own hands, even), he didn't empathize with them or feel guilt, as much as he thought 'i'm glad that isn't me'. it only became worse as he grew older, & there wasn't any place for remorse, & positive reinforcement for ruthless behavior.

it didn't help matters that midnight was both brilliant & had high latent magical power, while also not having a lick of ambition or a tendency to be headstrong / freethinking (cough erik). brain never had to fear that midnight would betray him or try to challenge his authority, because midnight had neither the courage & resolve, or a motive to do so. essentially, midnight was the perfect son.

don't get me wrong, the relationship between the seis and brain was absolutely unhealthy & not a good place for them to be. but midnight did (and still does honestly. adoptive, abusive, etc or not, parent - child bonds don't just... disappear, even if one wants them to) consider brain to be his father in every sense of the word, & i do think he got special treatment (whether brain was conscious of it or not).

[dick-helmet-magneto]

Also, Logan gets by with a lot in these movies. People get all sympathetic, “Aww but he’s been through a lot. He’s seen so much.”  Like why does that mean he gets special privileges?  

Raven was homeless as a child, breaking into houses to get food to survive.  Charles was abused and neglected.  Erik survived the camps and Shaw. 

Someone tell me the differences? Was it because Logan got his own separate movies? 

[voidchillz]

Sappy Venty Rant about Kay’s Erik (With a special inclusion of my beloved skeleton💕)

I mention scars, dysphoria, and skin issues here. Be careful and mindful ❤️

As a side note about Susan Key’s Erik, I think he’s gonna be my favourite for a long while unless another Phantom can compete (though I am very much warming up to Charles Dance’s Erik). There’s a specific reason for this though. Besides other iterations kind of making it seem like Phantom doesn’t exist beyond Christine (still love the other iterations) there’s a certain level of personal sympathy I’ve felt for Erik. One of the reasons I love Sans so damn much is cause it’s a similar feeling, and that sympathy breaches me feeling physically similar to that character. I don’t think it’s as far as kinning or the many ways people feel more comfortable as presenting themselves as their beloved characters, but it’s more like slow flashes and little waves of a nice harmless delusion. For Sans it’s more like an emotional similarity, when I feel calm or happy it feels like I’m smiling like him or getting comfy in his bones. I’m not going to let myself be ashamed that it genuinely calms me down when I’m in a panic to just feel him touch my hair or stroke my neck, letting me know I’m safe and that it’ll be okay (and if anyone else feels the same way you shouldn’t be ashamed either). And Kay’s Erik has actually been the first of many of my loved characters to compete with Sans in that regard.

If you don’t already know, I’ve got eczema. And BOY is it bad right now, and has been for a few months. I won’t get into grim gory details, but apart from being a fun reference from vine, it can be seriously costly both emotionally and physically. I’ve literally got scars from it. In my experience it’s not a very well talked about thing, which can be even more frustrating when several occasions I’ve sat by the bath at three in the morning flinching and crying every time I try to wash my fucked up skin. And I’ll be blunt, this shit has made me deeply dysphoric for a long time when literally all I want in terms of body pride is smooth skin and soft hair. I don’t even mind that the eczema makes my skin dark or pale and patchy in places. I consider myself very lucky and grateful that despite being trans there’s only a few occasions I get genuine gender dysphoria or feel like I need to punish myself for looking a certain way. But when everything burns and stings and I’m surrounded by unpleasant reminders of how Human I am and I feel like it’s my fault, I fall into a very deep discomfort that lasts a long time.

I’m not at all going to pretend I understand Erik completely, I don’t have abusive parents, I haven’t been hated or rejected my entire life, and I have people that love me. But there’s been more than one point now that while my skin flares up, I let myself feel calm, and my hands are suddenly thinner and more deft. I can feel the bones beneath my skin, I can hear sweet music even in silence, and there’s a sense of collected pride and comfort that comes with that. Feeling like him makes me feel unafraid to enjoy the dark, enjoy the unapologetic wildness. I’m nowhere near as intense as he was but I much prefer to stay in my safe dark warm hidey hole with my work and my simple pleasures than much else. And still, I can appreciate sunlight and the outside, it’s just I’ve learned that it often comes with taxing uncomfortable situations. Being outside isn’t the problem, it’s the noise, it’s the exhaustion, it’s the feeling alone of people around me that I don’t like. This doesn’t mean I don’t like people, I like my friends and my family, but I still love the quiet isolation after a long day.

When I feel like I’m helplessly clawing at my skin, ruining it further and feeling wretchedly ill with how overwhelming and painful it is, it’s a strange relief to think of Erik at that point. Beauty has never really been something I wanted, but I know it’s not something I can have completely. And I’m not saying that in a ‘oh I’m so ugly, tell me I’m pretty no matter what’ way (so you just don’t have to if you’re planning on telling me that), to me it’s a fact that with my skin like the way it currently is, I won’t feel beautiful or handsome or any other way than numb and uncomfortable. Erik knew that about himself, that he couldn’t strive to be beautiful, but still admired it. The comfort is feeling like he could sympathise with me wanting to have no skin rather than this skin, pretty much.

This can sound as poetic or as dumb as anyone wants it to, but I wanted to post this here maybe just to log this feeling. This is the most personal I’ve gotten online so far I’m fairly sure, but I think it’s still important to share these things sometimes.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk :)

(Also if anyone’s worried, I am okay, my skin is not, but I am okay. The itching isn’t really voluntary and kinda just comes with the condition, but I have my plans and my coping mechanisms. I really just wanted to post this in case anyone could help feel validated if they had dysphoria and loved their characters like I love mine)

((In a roundabout way I was trying to say that Susan made a great book despite everything and that it helped me with my crap flesh))

[sulcrafatejackets]

She says gosh I know Mom can say mum if you want I said MUM, but that’s provided we are actually in the right territory. Honestly you can say anything the fuck you want you can play make believe the problem is Shannon, my daughter, there is human trafficking. There’s people trying to destroy each other. Also, Ashley Pettigo can say actually I killed Rebecca Cooper, actually already know if anything happens to Rebecca Cooper, your next.

You’re lol

Ah her kids are next

Matt, Nicholas Ashwin, Adam, you never know about people do you I would not go there and yes I do know

Ashwin, this bitch ass bluffer

He’s like oh so now you’re trying to act, like you know everything about artillery

He tried to steal the candles, Ashwin

And then Kelsie said I was bougie because I wanted European coffee, even though my European coffee cost far less than a Keurig fucking coffee maker

Oh yeah, it is scary if you’ve not experienced this some of you will experience nerve damage and you won’t be able to fix it. Some of you will deserve that some medical doctors absolutely and some medical doctors find themselves in wheelchairs because of these kind of gaslighting games.

What makes Dr Lang special? I want to know what you guys think, and then I wanna pull the carpet out from underneath him

He is hanging on by a very desperate thread and now genetics or something that you’re not allowed to look very closely at doctor, because of how severe the abuse has become in Kentucky and around the nation. Gosh don’t you think Bryant and Eric Brown I said Bryant, but whatever Brian

Ashley and every other blonde woman in this country, already know that I could give a shit less about you erik

Anyway, you guys pants

[solatgif]

TGIF: Roundup for September 23, 2022

Read all the way through for a new book giveaway, our book reviews collection, and our featured author Faith Chang!

This week we featured Julius Kim (TGC), Tom Lin (Intervarsity), and moderator Alexander Jun’s (KALI) discussion on Asian Visibility: Leading While Everyone is Watching, as well as Alexander Jun’s interview on The Journey and Value of Asian American Churches.

I asked Karisa You to read her beautiful article, and you can hear her voice in our new video: The Light of the World: How Jesus is Reaching International Students. Also, Tom Sugimura shared 10 Tips for Reading the Entire Bible with Your Kids.

Our monthly newsletter features our most popular resources. Read our latest edition and join for free. Check out my Asian American Worship Leaders Facebook group and TGIF Playlist on Spotify. You can reach me on Twitter and Instagram.

Enter to win this outstanding book! Read my review. Special thanks to P&R Publishers for providing our giveaway, presented in partnership with my newsletters for @diveindigdeep and FCBC Walnut.

Articles From Around The Web

Faith Chang: Why We Care

“The moments my heart is moved with compassion, the conviction to intercede and do good for another, these are acts of my joining God where he is already at work, where he actively cares and has already been caring. In our love, the love of our unseen God is made visible.”

Related: Keeping Heart: An Interview with Faith Chang by Aaron Lee

Curtis Yee: At Gracepoint Ministries, ‘Whole-Life Discipleship’ Took Its Toll

“As the predominantly Asian American church network expands to dozens of college towns, former members come forward with claims of spiritual abuse.”

Related: Understanding Spiritual Abuse in the Asian American Church by Soojin Park, Joanna Wong, Jason Min, and Thomas Hwang

Erik Raymond: Jesus Is Not Ashamed of Those Who Are Overlooked: The Story of Bartimaeus

“You would think that maybe a king would be drawn to people that are so influential and full of honor and wealth and success, but Jesus doesn’t need any of that. And it’s actually the people who fade into the background that capture his gaze.”

Related: Retelling My Story, and Throwing a Party by Alice Kim

Faith Chang lives in NY with her husband Jeff and their four kids. She serves at Grace Christian Church of Staten Island where Jeff pastors. Check out our article collection featuring Faith Chang!

Books, Podcasts, Music, And More

Gospelbound Podcast: Beautiful People Don’t Just Happen

Scott joins Collin Hansen to share what church members would be surprised to learn about their pastors, why deep faith feels like defeat, and how affliction can preach better than a sermon.

Related: Rising Above Cancel Culture with the Fruit of Gentleness with Scott Sauls

Asian American Worship Leaders: The Lion and the Lamb

The Lion and the Lamb (Bethel Grace Church) / What a Beautiful Name (Christ Central Presbyterian Church) / Raise a Hallelujah (NewStory Church) / Good Good Father (All Nations Community Church) / Thank You Jesus for the Blood (Lighthouse Community Church)

Aaron Lee: Related Works

Book Reviews: Divine Providence: A Classic Work for Modern Readers by Stephen Charnock. Listen to our TGIF playlist on Spotify. Join my Asian American Worship Leaders Facebook group.

Check out our Book Reviews for reading recommendations, with an emphasis on Asian American authors.

Featured This Week On SOLA Network

Jason Chao: The Journey and Value of Asian American Churches: An Interview with Dr. Alexander Jun

The difference between segregation and separation in ethnic churches, the role and growth of second-generation Asian American churches, and the national role of Asian American Christians.

Tom Sugimura: 10 Tips for Reading the Entire Bible with Your Kids

“Our family recently finished a two-year Bible reading plan…in only four years! It was quite the journey, and we encourage every family to undertake it. Here are ten travel tips that will guide you through.”

Karisa You: The Light of the World: How Jesus is Reaching International Students

“People are yearning for Truth, and if we are willing to open our eyes and mouths, God will gladly point us to them. We don’t always get to see the work that He’s doing, but we trust that there’s always more going on under the surface, and we don’t have to cross oceans to see lives transformed by the Gospel—just our neighborhood streets, apartment hallways, and college campuses.”

Alxander Jun: Asian Visibility: Leading While Everyone is Watching

Julius Kim (TGC), Tom Lin (Intervarsity), and moderator Alexander Jun (KALI) discussed the lessons they have learned over the years about leadership through adversity, ministry pain, and pressure.

TGIF: Roundup for September 16, 2022

Is the Future of Christian Music on TikTok? / It Takes a Christian Village / How to Preach Winsomely and Wisely / 2 Years of Walnut Women and Talking on Technology

General disclaimer: Our link roundups are not endorsements of the positions or lives of the authors.

[esmiephan]

Today is the fucking INTERNATIONAL ROMANI DAY and we still have to deal with comments like this shit:

Context is that I made a blog explaining my opinion about comparing Frollo to Erik. I think it's unfair because Frollo is cruel, racist and misogynistic, while Erik was abused during all of his life and wanted to be loved and blablabla, boo-hoo hoo. It doesn't matter now, what matters is the audacy of being anti-Romani even though today is fucking April 8th – International Roma Day.

Everyone knows a fictional novel that racistly portrays the Romanis as child kidnappers and white people as poor little meow meow victimized by brown-skinned Romanis is a trustworth representation, specially when it's written by a white french man. Because a movie that portrays Esmeralda as a Romani protagonist and reports the abuse her people suffered is wrong 😠😠 how dare you treat the Romani people as... well, actual people?! When my pretty little novel said they're mean and kidnap children??? Because if you portray a Romani decently, it means you're saying their ethnicity is entirely saint ❤️

The Disney movie excluded this "Esmeralda is a white woman kidnapped by Romanis" BECAUSE. IT'S. FUCKING. RACIST. And if you have the AUDACY to criticize this choice of adaptation, guess what? YOU ARE ALSO RACIST.

"wuwuw frollo was bad but listen the romanis aren't saint because this fictional racist novel written by a european white man said so"

Yeah i mean Hitler was bad but listen the Jewish aren't saints either because my favorite fictional novel written by a white european man portrayed them as bad people so yeah they are bad people too 😍

I mean yeah the european colonizers killed indigenous people and destroyed their home and culture but listen they weren't saints because my fictional novel written by a white european man said they're bad people so yeah they are bad people too 😍

Ok let me sigh and calm down...

Fuck you and your racism. Stay fucking away from Romani people and shut the fuck up when it comes to worthy representation. And if you're curious to know when this shitty racist myth of "Romani are child kidnappers", started, feel free to read.

Also this person made a second comment saying Erik was also "disgusting man", like if a disgusting racist had any right to judge someone else's character.

[imperiuswrecked]

Welcome to the final issue of the Trial of Magneto. I’ve been worried for weeks, then spent the night angry, and now I get to unload about how stupid this whole thing is and first things first, this right here? A LIE. Pietro is not in this comic.

We start off with Wanda revealing who it is, that’s it. No mystery to uncover through clues, just her blaming her “killer”, once second to pause and say: Fuck you Tony, fuck all the avengers, no matter how many times Marvel tries to shove “Avengers are a Family” b.s. down my throat I will never believe it. 

So Erik and Wanda use Toad as their scapegoat because SURPRISE they needed a fall guy so they picked the most pathetic loser they know to take the blame of a crime he is innocent of and they sit aside and watch as he is swallowed up by Krakoa. Posting panels out of order just to be able to explain this.

I’m gonna take a minute here in the defense of Toad, he isn’t the most beloved character in the X-Men, he is a Loser, but he is also an abuse victim who’s biggest contributor was Magneto, and now Wanda joins him in this, what a totally gross way to handle Wanda’s character, having her be willing to let a man innocent of this crime take the fall for her.

Also X-Factor freaking sucks at their job, their one job, and remember that metal magic? yeah no Wanda used that to kill herself with and Erik planted it in Toad’s room.

Having Toad say it was all for Magneto, for a team that had long disbanded in universe, its been literally 10 or more years in their time and he still isn’t over it? I would laugh if I wasn’t so pissed off over how stupid this comic’s writing is.

Fuck you Vision, the way he speaks to Wanda as if they were a couple leaving a party, um you two are not a freaking couple anymore. Sick of the WandaVision narrative constantly used in this issue. It disgusts me. 

Also wowww now the Avengers can’t get involved in another nations punishment for crimes against them? wow, where was this when you all went running to Atlantis to call Namor insane and interfere with him running his nation? hypocrites. They just don’t care because it’s a loser x-men ex-villain they don’t even like. 

LOVE HOW THE RETCON WAS NEVER UNDONE AND YET WE HAVE THEM CALLING EACH OTHER FAMILY. BY LOVE I MEAN, WHAT THE F-

How the fuck did Wanda get resurrected through a mutant pod but still isn’t a mutant, hmmmm??? was there a need to point this out? no? ah yes we just have to keep saying that they aren’t really a family but are a family anyways because uhhh of all the great family bonding we’ve seen with Lorna and Wanda over the years, and let’s have Wanda calling Erik her father again. Pietro? Hug his sister? Care that she is alive? HA. What a silly notion. 

I wish people would let Erik be a complicated man who has a lot of fears and understand that most of his work/actions is in relation to that and not love. Erik’s past trauma constantly shifted to the side to push the narrative that he is a good man now, he can be a complex and not a good man but a man with grey morals and still be a good character you know.

Hey everyone, I found the Trial. It was love all along 

Also just in case you missed Billy and Tommy, who were screaming hurtful things at Wanda the other issue, here they are! What? where is Quicksilver? Pietro Maximoff? You still think he is gonna show up? hahahahahahaha 

To wrap up, the reason why Erik and Wanda kicked Toad into the fire and watched him burn and used him to further their agenda is because Wanda had a plan to bring back all mutants who were never in the database, and she knew that cult island wouldn’t accept her dying and being resurrected through their super special eggs. I think that if an island of people hate you then they would be ok with you dying then maybe that island is shit, just a thought. 

Anyways the ONLY good thing to come out of this whole stupid miniseries that has become the Wanda and Erik show except it’s totally the Wanda show and not even a good one is that John Proudstar is back, if you don’t know him it’s because he has under 40 comic appearances and was killed off a long time ago but he was part of the new line of X-Men.

Oh and now Northstar and Kyle are gonna be dads.

Charles you stupid slut. 

No, I need to insult him because he is an idiot and also point out how WASTED this artist was on this stupid as fuck plot line, look at that DRAGON. 

Hey Wanda! Remember how we spent months and months talking shit about you? Well now you get to join into our little cult and tell stories! 

And so ends my suffering. 

At this point I’m sure Pietro is passed out in that bar drunk out of mind and no one cares enough to go pick him up because where the hell is he, certainly not with his family.

[an-angels-fury]

A Crossover Concept (and my Headcanons about it)

(Disclaimer: The relationship that will be described in this concept is TOTALLY FRIENDLY, NOT ROMANTIC OKAY ?!!! I want to make this statement very clear before anything else. And once again, I want to apologize for any grammar mistake. Thank you and good reading 😉😘)

//-----------------------//----------------------//

So, I've already seen many fans making really creative crossovers between Carrie and other fictional characters (especially with ones from horror movies) like Jason Voorhees (Friday 13th), Jennifer Check (Jennifer's Body), Matilda Wormwood (Matilda), Eleven (Stranger Things), etc.

But one crossover I would LOVE to see is Carrie meeting Erik (The Phantom of the Opera)

I've seen a post talking about this here on Tumblr almost 2 years ago (one that I failed to find again, because I really wanted to repost in my page) and I literally fell in love with this concept. Luckly, I printed the post when I read it for the first time and kept safe in my phone since then.

And that just made think how much these two characters have in common:

- They were outcasts who were ostracized by people of the society they lived in, also being seen and treated as freaks for the simple fact of being different (Erik because of his facial deformity and Carrie because of her appearence, her shy personality and her strictly religious upbringing)

- They were mistreated and abused by their own mothers (Madaleine and Margaret, when I find you women 😠🤬)

- They both knew the pain of loneliness and the experience of being bullied and humiliated because of their differences - and these experiences made them extremely insecure, distrustful and resentful towards humanity

- They have the desire to fit in and seeked for acceptance and true love

- They were very special and gifted individuals (Erik as a musician, architect and magician and Carrie as seamstress and wielder of teleknesis)

- Both characters were symbolically associated to the figures of angels (Erik as the Angel of Music/the Angel in Hell and Carrie as an Avenging Angel) but viewed as demons or monsters by other characters of the story (In the 2004 movie, Erik was known as 'The Devil's Child' during his childhood in the freak show and, in the book, he's described as having the appearence of 'a living corpse' while Carrie is constantly called a 'witch' and a 'devil's child' by her mother in the book and, after her death and the town's destruction, people wish her to "burn in Hell")

- Both are originally the main characters from epistolary novels (that were also adapted to cinema, TV AND musical theater) that relate the investigation of scary cases in the stories' respective scenarios (The Opera Garnier and the fictional Chamberlaine town) that no one can truly explain how they happened, the mysterious figures (The Phantom of the Opera and Carrie White) supposedly responsable for these tragic events and the sad, but terrifying stories behind these extraordinary beings.

- Both the novels also end with a reflective note in their epilogue, making the readers think about how these characters could have turned out diferently if they were born in kinder circunstances, how they could have used their gifts to make the world a better place instead of becoming the monsters the others knew if they were not treated as such, but were actually truly accepted and loved for who they were.

Now, right to the HEADCANONS - come here with me and imagine some things like this: 👇

- Erik calling Carrie 'angel', 'my dear' or 'little one'

- Erik giving red roses with black ribbons carefully tied around their stems to Carrie (and she thanking him shyly everytime while smiling and lifting the flowers to her nose to inhale their perfume because she really loves it)

- Erik singing and/or playing to Carrie always when she was upset, comforting her and soothing her fears (and Carrie being enchanted by how wonderful and unique his voice is)

- Erik freaking out and almost collapsing after discover Carrie's teleknetic powers (😂😆)

- Carrie hiding herself inside Erik's cape and Erik pretending to be annoyed by the act (but he secretly loves it and thinks it makes her even more adorable than she already is 😍)

- Erik encouraging Carrie with her talent for sewing and even giving a little help in the making process of her new clothes

- Carrie encouraging Erik to smile more and exposing the soft side of his heart ❤️ (and he would probably do the same with her)

- Erik becoming extremely overprotective over Carrie, because he sees her and treats her as his little sister (or even a daughter)

- Both being touch-starved people, but hesitant of let the others get closer because of their common fear of being hurt again, and learning to initiate the first contact and open themselves to each other

- Erik gaining courage enough to reveal his deformity, still being afraid Carrie would reject him too, and getting suprised when she doesn't run away from him and even tells him he's 'beautiful' (I think Carrie's first reaction would be pure shock, but when she saw Erik trying to hide it again, she would stop him and ask gently to see him again, coming close enough to touch his face, showing no fear or disgust at all)

- Erik also constantly remembering Carrie how beautiful she really is and telling her to not let anyone put her down or convince her she's less than the special and perfect human being she is

- Both telling their stories to each other and relating to each other's feelings of pain and loneliness (Carrie would be both horrified and fascinated by the tales of Erik's adventures, sympathize with the suffering of his childhood and even comfort him about the end of his relationship with Christine, saying he still would find someone else, while Erik would look quiet and calm when listen to her story at first, but deep inside trying very hard to control himself to not grab his Punjab lasso - he would nurture a burning hatred for Carrie's bullies and all the other people who hurt her, but most specially for Margaret White and Chris Hargensen (those bitches 😡). He would promising himself to never let anything like this happens to her again)

//----------------------//-----------------------//

So yeah... That was the idea that has been running on my mind for a while. I was very nervous in post this because I'm always worried about the way people will react to my posts. I wanted to write this because these two characters are very dear to me and the idea of them, two misfits, meeting and relating to each other and becoming friends (even a family) in the process just warms my heart. Because that's what they deserved.

Hope you all enjoy this post. If someone want to contribue with new ideas and headcanons, feel free to reblog 😄 (If not, just pretend you never found this and move on with your life, no need to come to offend me just because I said something you disliked or disagreed with, okay? I simply made this for fun👍)

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

Character: Toad

give me a character and I'll answer

do I like them: I want to wrap him up in a blanket and keep him safe (yes)

5 good qualities:

1. I want to say "loyalty" but Toad's loyalty towards people like Magneto is rather unhealthy and marred by Erik's history of abuse towards him. But that's also not really Toad's fault? I think I'd still see it as a positive, because here is this little dude willing to devote his heart and soul to someone, it's not his fault that the first object of his devotion treated him like garbage. But he does need some therapy, big time.

2. Intelligence - Toad has been well established to be very, very smart, and it drives me nuts that some characters still treat him like a moron. He was completely wasted as a janitor in Wolverine and the X-Men, they should have had him teaching science or engineering.

3. Willing to help others - Toad isn't always the nicest fellow, but there have been several instances of him going out of his way to help people. He takes the Brotherhood to Empyrean's island to help Legacy Virus-stricken Pyro, even though there's no real gain for him to do so (it's not like Pyro is likely to get better and rejoin the team). He helps Lorelei after she gets beaten up during the 198. He saves Quentin Quire from falling to his death in WatXM, and later goes to Hellfire just to help Husk and the other mutants who have defected. He also apparently agreed to take the fall for Wanda's death and go to the Pit for a crime he didn't commit, in the very badly written ToM. (Free Toad, btw.)

4. Willing to learn - there are versions of Toad who has his shit together and he usually comes across as a very well-rounded person with a lot of intellectual curiosity, like in House of M, where he has written a book, and AoA, where he is a Shakespearean actor. Toad also took it upon himself to learn mechanics just by studying the Stranger's devices. He had a shitty time in formal education, he was branded as "stupid" from a young age, but Toad has taken it upon himself to study and learn new things, with no real help from anyone (and active discouragement from people like Magneto who repeatedly calls him a moron). If Toad had proper therapy and access to education, I could imagine him as being similar to 90's cartoon Beast - an intellectual with knowledge of many subjects.

5. Cool powers - despite jokes about Toad having crappy powers, the dude actually has a ton of abilities. His powerful legs could easily kick someone's head off, he can mind control frogs, he's got the prehensile tongue, he can spit up acidic gunk, he secretes both mind-control pheremones and a paralyzing toxin. Toad has got a whole grab bag of abilities, and if writers ever let him get his shit together and stop treating him like a clown, he could be a force to be reckoned with. (Unfortunately, every time one writer tries, the next writer will slap him back down to "loser" status very quickly.)

3 bad qualities:

1. Toad can be a very nasty person, and was even willing to kill Karl Lyko's girlfriend Tanya to transform Lyko's back into Sauron for his Brotherhood. He is more than capable of doing some very shitty things, especially when he's trying to establish himself as a big bad guy. He can also be very vindictive.

2. Obsessive - in particular, Toad fixates on Wanda early on, to the point of attacking her and Vision when she is with the Avengers. He also starts fixating on Husk after she shows him simple kindness during WatXM. He's much nicer to Husk, and actually rescues her from the Hellfire club when her skin mutation is causing her instability, but it's still not a very healthy relationship.

3. Fawning/servile - Toad latches onto authority figures like Magneto, and becomes completely devoted to them. He will let Magneto abuse, berate and hit him, and still come crawling back, and will put down others on the team as much as possible to establish himself as Magneto's special favorite. (Toad spent a lot of early Brotherhood stories tattling on Wanda and Pietro.) To some extent, I feel like this isn't entirely his fault, it's due to mental illness and trauma and abuse. Toad fawns over authority figures because he desperately wants to be loved, and he wants to see others punished so that he isn't the target. But it's still a bad quality of his, and he needs massive amounts of therapy.

favourite episode/etc:

-The first X-Men Forever storyline, where Toad, Iceman, Jean, Mystique and Juggernaut time travel. Some good Toad development there.

-Toad leading his own Brotherhood in the 90's. It showed his nastier side, and he was unfortunately often treated as a joke (some writers try to elevate Toad by showing him as this strategic genius, and other writers immediately tear him down by having his team get their asses kicked easily and repeatedly). BUT it was still Toad in a leadership position, very different from his previous characterization.

-Toad in The 198, where he is just this very cynical, world-weary kind of guy, just very fed up with all this shit.

-That time Spiderman saved Toad from committing suicide, and he started trying to help him and wound up teaming up with Spider-kid and Frogman to be a group of crime-fighters.

-House of M and Age of Apocalypse Toad - both very competent and mentally healthy, showing how impressive Toad can be if he just gets some encouragement and therapy.

-Toad in WatXM - they mostly treat him like a joke to a frustrating degree, but the storyline with Husk treats him very sympathetically. (Also, how completely incompetent was the Jean Grey school staff when they all totally miss how Husk is falling apart? She's sitting there at teacher meetings just spacing out, and no one notices she needs help?)

-That one scene where Toad warns Rogue about how easy it is to get caught up in hero worship of Magneto, and Rogue should have immediately responded by sending Morty to therapy immediately.

otp: Toad/self esteem. I really don't know who would be good for Toad romantically. Toad/Husk wasn't a bad pairing, but it was still really unhealthy for both of them, and I think they'd need to try again when they are both in a better place mentally.

Also apparently one of the Mastermind sisters was once shown having a secret crush on Toad? I think they should go for it - if Martinique or possibly Regan wants the slimy boy, she should have him. Whatever makes them both happy.

brotp: I want Toad and Husk to at least be friends on Krakoa. Also maybe Toad and Blob? They've hung out together in a few Brotherhoods. I would honestly love for Toad to have a mechanically-inclined friend, like maybe he and Forge could work on things together. Or maybe Toad and Phantazia, who needs to make her reappearance in the comics anyway.

ot3: Toad/self-esteem/a loving partner, in a mutually respectful relationship.

notp: Toad/Wanda or Toad/Magneto, for obvious reasons.

best quote: "I ain't the kind of toad that turns into a prince when some beautiful lady kisses him. I just stay a toad."

head canon:

-Despite his generally terrible childhood in England, he sometimes nostalgically misses little things about the country. Like, a lot of his memories are tinged with bitterness and trauma, but sometimes he gets hungry for a Jammie Dodger or something. He generally has good memories of British snacks and candy, those are some of his few pleasant memories of the orphanage (assuming he could eat them before other children took them away).

-On that note, I imagine Toad being one of those types who has trouble saving food and feels the need to eat everything as quickly as possible, for fear that it will get taken away. He never got to easily keep anything for himself, so if you give him a box of chocolates, he'll probably scarf it down quickly rather than saving it, because he's got that anxiety that anything he tries to save will disappear.

-Similarly, I think Toad doesn't really hang into possessions. He's always had a pretty nomadic existence, he's used to having next to nothing and living a chaotic, unpredictable life. I could imagine Toad either not giving a shit about owning things (because he can so easily lose them) or else going the other way and becoming a bit of a hoarder.

-I think Toad both enjoys, and is very good at video games. They give him a relaxing outlet for stress, and they boost his self-esteem because he can play well. He actually starts to make a few friends over voice chat while playing online, and it's easier for him because they're not talking in person, and being a skilled player means that his online team-mates are generally very positive and friendly towards him. Maybe he starts posting some Youtube speedrun videos.