#stanford marshmallow experiment

[daemonicdasein]

“People are foolish to get rid of us. Elites are people who think; populists are people who believe. Elites defer to experts; populists listen to their own guts. Elites value cooperation; populists are tribal. Elites are masters at delayed gratification, long-range planning, and controlling our emotions. The most accurate way to determine if a child will be a member of the elite isn’t an IQ test. It’s the Stanford marshmallow experiment, in which you put a treat in front of a preschooler and tell her that if she doesn’t eat it for fifteen minutes she’ll get a second one as a reward. If she holds off for long enough, she might one day go to Stanford and create her own method of torturing children. Trump is a mouth stuffed full of marshmallows, little bits of white fluff flying out as he yells whatever occurs to him in the moment . . .”

— Joel Stein, In Defense of Elitism: Why I'm Better Than You and You are Better Than Someone Who Didn't Buy This Book (Grand Central Publishing; Reprint; April 13, 2021) Introduction, Pages xiv-xv

[dracomort]

What would Tom and Draco be like as a comedic duo of antique-dealing partners?

Tom's got an eye for shiny things and a face for customer service; Draco's good at fixing magical artefacts and brown-noses like it's a competitive sport. It's a recipe for success.

However, I do wonder which of them would be worse at running a business. I oscillate between thinking Tom would be responsible with money because he grew up with so little, and thinking he would be irresponsible for exactly the same reason. I've met both sorts of people. And we must remember that he is a professional broke bitch/couch-surfer/freeloader. Draco is an aristocrat so he's guaranteed to be hopeless (and the sort to take money from the till without noting it down anywhere).

Depending on the context of the universe they're in, they'll probably need to be bailed out either by Tom's connections or Draco's family, regardless of how successful they are as salesmen.

[snezus-christ-risen]

For me, writing is like sitting down and shitting out this big, funky, sometimes unpleasant-looking (depending on the angle) brick of something from my brain that I then proceed to abandon in a dark corner. Every couple of days or so I’ll return to pick it up, examine it in the light, buff out smudges or rough edges, and chip away at the larger deformities until I have something kind of pretty and sort of shiny that I’m mostly happy with.

And then I bring it here, like a cat dragging in something dead and disgusting, to share with all of you. 🙃

[thejaymaniac]

love the phrase 'sow discord' because it implies patience, dedication. you want chaos but you're willing to wait for the payoff, you're committed to the bit

you're a menace who can pass the stanford marshmallow experiment. the world stands no chance.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Marshmallow Longtermism

The paperback edition of The Lost Cause, my nationally bestselling, hopeful solarpunk novel is out this week!

My latest column for Locus Magazine is "Marshmallow Longtermism"; it's a reflection on how conservatives self-mythologize as the standards-bearers for deferred gratification and making hard trade-offs, but are utterly lacking in these traits when it comes to climate change and inequality:

https://locusmag.com/2024/09/cory-doctorow-marshmallow-longtermism/

Conservatives often root our societal ills in a childish impatience, and cast themselves as wise adults who understand that "you can't get something for nothing." Think here of the memes about lazy kids who would rather spend on avocado toast and fancy third-wave coffee rather than paying off their student loans. In this framing, poverty is a consequence of immaturity. To be a functional adult is to be sober in all things: not only does a grownup limit their intoxicant intake to head off hangovers, they also go to the gym to prevent future health problems, they save their discretionary income to cover a down-payment and student loans.

This isn't asceticism, though: it's a mature decision to delay gratification. Avocado toast is a reward for a life well-lived: once you've paid off your mortgage and put your kid through college, then you can have that oat-milk latte. This is just "sound reasoning": every day you fail to pay off your student loan represents another day of compounding interest. Pay off the loan first, and you'll save many avo toasts' worth of interest and your net toast consumption can go way, way up.

Cleaving the world into the patient (the mature, the adult, the wise) and the impatient (the childish, the foolish, the feckless) does important political work. It transforms every societal ill into a personal failing: the prisoner in the dock who stole to survive can be recast as a deficient whose partying on study-nights led to their failure to achieve the grades needed for a merit scholarship, a first-class degree, and a high-paying job.

Dividing the human race into "the wise" and "the foolish" forms an ethical basis for hierarchy. If some of us are born (or raised) for wisdom, then naturally those people should be in charge. Moreover, putting the innately foolish in charge is a recipe for disaster. The political scientist Corey Robin identifies this as the unifying belief common to every kind of conservativism: that some are born to rule, others are born to be ruled over:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/08/01/set-healthy-boundaries/#healthy-populism

This is why conservatives are so affronted by affirmative action, whose premise is that the absence of minorities in the halls of power stems from systemic bias. For conservatives, the fact that people like themselves are running things is evidence of their own virtue and suitability for rule. In conservative canon, the act of shunting aside members of dominant groups to make space for members of disfavored minorities isn't justice, it's dangerous "virtue signaling" that puts the childish and unfit in positions of authority.

Again, this does important political work. If you are ideologically committed to deregulation, and then a giant, deregulated sea-freighter crashes into a bridge, you can avoid any discussion of re-regulating the industry by insisting that we are living in a corrupted age where the unfit are unjustly elevated to positions of authority. That bridge wasn't killed by deregulation – it's demise is the fault of the DEI hire who captained the ship:

https://www.axios.com/local/salt-lake-city/2024/03/26/baltimore-bridge-dei-utah-lawmaker-phil-lyman-misinformation

The idea of a society made up of the patient and wise and the impatient and foolish is as old as Aesop's "The Ant and the Grasshopper," but it acquired a sheen of scientific legitimacy in 1970, with Walter Mischel's legendary "Stanford Marshmallow Experiment":

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment

In this experiment, kids were left alone in a locked room with a single marshmallow, after being told that they would get two marshmallows in 15 minutes, but only if they waited until them to eat the marshmallow before them. Mischel followed these kids for decades, finding that the kids who delayed gratification and got that second marshmallow did better on every axis – educational attainment, employment, and income. Adult brain-scans of these subjects revealed structural differences between the patient and the impatient.

For many years, the Stanford Marshmallow experiment has been used to validate the cleavage of humanity in the patient and wise and impatient and foolish. Those brain scans were said to reveal the biological basis for thinking of humanity's innate rulers as a superior subspecies, hidden in plain sight, destined to rule.

Then came the "replication crisis," in which numerous bedrock psychological studies from the mid 20th century were re-run by scientists whose fresh vigor disproved and/or complicated the career-defining findings of the giants of behavioral "science." When researchers re-ran Mischel's tests, they discovered an important gloss to his findings. By questioning the kids who ate the marshmallows right away, rather than waiting to get two marshmallows, they discovered that these kids weren't impatient, they were rational.

The kids who ate the marshmallows were more likely to come from poorer households. These kids had repeatedly been disappointed by the adults in their lives, who routinely broke their promises to the kids. Sometimes, this was well-intentioned, as when an economically precarious parent promised a treat, only to come up short because of an unexpected bill. Sometimes, this was just callousness, as when teachers, social workers or other authority figures fobbed these kids off with promises they knew they couldn't keep.

The marshmallow-eating kids had rationally analyzed their previous experiences and were making a sound bet that a marshmallow on the plate now was worth more than a strange adult's promise of two marshmallows. The "patient" kids who waited for the second marshmallow weren't so much patient as they were trusting: they had grown up with parents who had the kind of financial cushion that let them follow through on their promises, and who had the kind of social power that convinced other adults – teachers, etc – to follow through on their promises to their kids.

Once you understand this, the lesson of the Marshmallow Experiment is inverted. The reason two marshmallow kids thrived is that they came from privileged backgrounds: their high grades were down to private tutors, not the choice to study rather than partying. Their plum jobs and high salaries came from university and family connections, not merit. Their brain differences were the result of a life free from the chronic, extreme stress that comes with poverty.

Post-replication crisis, the moral of the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment is that everyone experiences a mix of patience and impatience, but for the people born to privilege, the consequences of impatience are blunted and the rewards of patience are maximized.

Which explains a lot about how rich people actually behave. Take Charles Koch, who grew his father's coal empire a thousandfold by making long-term investments in automation. Koch is a vocal proponent of patience and long-term thinking, and is openly contemptuous of publicly traded companies because of the pressure from shareholders to give preference to short-term extraction over long-term planning. He's got a point.

Koch isn't just a fossil fuel baron, he's also a wildly successful ideologue. Koch is one of a handful of oligarchs who have transformed American politics by patiently investing in a kraken's worth of think tanks, universities, PACs, astroturf organizations, Star chambers and other world-girding tentacles. After decades of gerrymandering, voter suppression, court-packing and propagandizing, the American billionaire class has seized control of the US and its institutions. Patience pays!

But Koch's longtermism is highly selective. Arguably, Charles Koch bears more personal responsibility for delaying action on the climate emergency than any other person, alive or dead. Addressing greenhouse gasses is the most grasshopper-and-the-ant-ass crisis of all. Every day we delayed doing something about this foreseeable, well-understood climate debt added sky-high compounding interest. In failing to act, we saved billions – but we stuck our future selves with trillions in debt for which no bankruptcy procedure exists.

By convincing us not to invest in retooling for renewables in order to make his billions, Koch was committing the sin of premature avocado toast, times a billion. His inability to defer gratification – which he imposed on the rest of us – means that we are likely to lose much of world's coastal cities (including the state of Florida), and will have to find trillions to cope with wildfires, zoonotic plagues, and hundreds of millions of climate refugees.

Koch isn't a serene Buddha whose ability to surf over his impetuous attachments qualifies him to make decisions for the rest of us. Rather, he – like everyone else – is a flawed vessel whose blind spots are just as stubborn as ours. But unlike a person whose lack of foresight leads to drug addiction and petty crimes to support their habit, Koch's flaws don't just hurt a few people, they hurt our entire species and the only planet that can support it.

The selective marshmallow patience of the rich creates problems beyond climate debt. Koch and his fellow oligarchs are, first and foremost, supporters of oligarchy, an intrinsically destabilizing political arrangement that actually threatens their fortunes. Policies that favor the wealthy are always seeking an equilibrium between instability and inequality: a rich person can either submit to having their money taxed away to build hospitals, roads and schools, or they can invest in building high walls and paying guards to keep the rest of us from building guillotines on their lawns.

Rich people gobble that marshmallow like there's no tomorrow (literally). They always overestimate how much bang they'll get for their guard-labor buck, and underestimate how determined the poors will get after watching their children die of starvation and preventable diseases.

All of us benefit from some kind of cushion from our bad judgment, but not too much. The problem isn't that wealthy people get to make a few poor choices without suffering brutal consequences – it's that they hoard this benefit. Most of us are one missed student debt payment away from penalties and interest that add twenty years to our loan, while Charles Koch can set the planet on fire and continue to act as though he was born with the special judgment that means he knows what's best for us.

On SEPTEMBER 24th, I'll be speaking IN PERSON at the BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY!!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/04/deferred-gratification/#selective-foresight

Image: Mark S (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/markoz46/4864682934/

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

[hibiscesque]

WIP Asks

Tagged by the lovely @bloodsherry! 💘

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Lol to be honest I title a lot of my WIPs before I even start them so there aren’t going to be many funny non-name file names here 😭 Also,,, there are a LOT (yes enough that I had to put a “read more” line).

Don’t really know many people on Tumblr and most I do have been tagged, so if you wanna do this, consider yourself tagged!

The Untold Origins of the Detective Agency’s Human Resources Department

Akutagawa and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Dating Ritual, Mating Ritual, Gender-Predicating Ritual

Thus Spoke Zarathustra

Revv Up if You’ve Got Rizz!

Hot Singles in YOUR Area

Memento Mori

He Was a H8er Boy

girlbitch

Incorruptible

save a ghost, ride his mourner

every man be blind

Dot Your “I”s

hear no evil

The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment

Love Is Still in the Dictionary

only the frostbite remained

(This one was originally called “all houses wherein men have lived and died” but I stole that title for another fic and never changed this one’s after lol)

The Way to a Man’s Heart…

A Post-Hoc Fallacy

electrified (past tense)

Watchparty

Dream on the Getaway Mile

O4O

Hot Girl Bummer

Feel the City Breakin’

Cr*ppily Ever After

The Anatomy of Redamancy

Save Me in Effigy

& Home & Home & Home

cradle to grave

Perfidy, As in the War Crime

Untitled Nightmare Fic

Shark Week for Dummies

Gunpowder Blue

Miss Me in Your Bones

such uncommon places

May Death Do Us Part

No Evil, None at All

The Color of Air

seven thousand synonyms for brave

Trust, or Something

Offenses Enumerated / Public Disturbance

Night of the Living Dead

Love Has Chartreuse Polka-Dots

Beauty and the Resting Bitch Face

Gotta Catch ‘Em All!

That River in Egypt

Smoker Face

Self-Rekilling Prophecy

The Bitch Sitch

[can-i-roll-for-it]

Is being like "You can have one marshmallow now or you can wait and have 2 marshmallows" a common saying for stuff or is Dan just really into the Stanford Marshmallow experiment for some reason

I want Elias to be a psychology nerd

[winemom-culture]

My mother transferred me a very large sum of money we agreed on back in October to refinance my new car in exchange for giving my little brother my old car but until I actually get around to doing that it just has to sit there, in my account. It’s the Stanford marshmallow experiment and brother I’m a hungry toddler

[hoursofreading]

Four decades ago, in the Stanford University laboratory of Walter Mischel, preschool-age children were left alone in a room after having been told they could get a small treat (say, a marshmallow) by ringing a bell at any time to summon the experimenter — or, if they held out until he returned on his own, they could have a bigger treat (two marshmallows).  As the results of this experiment are usually summarized, the children who were able to wait scored better on measures of cognitive and social skills about a decade later and also had higher SAT scores.  The lesson is simple, as conservative commentators tell the story:  We ought to focus less on “structural reforms” to improve education or reduce poverty, and look instead at traits possessed by individuals – specifically, the ability to exert good old-fashioned self-control.[37] But the real story of these studies is a good deal more complicated.  For starters, the causal relationship wasn’t at all clear, as Mischel acknowledged.   The ability to delay gratification might not have been responsible for the impressive qualities found ten years later; instead, both may have resulted from the same kind of home environment.[38] Second, what mostly interested Mischel wasn’t whether children could wait for a bigger treat – which, by the way, most of them could[39] – and whether waiters fared better in life than non-waiters, but how children go about trying to wait and which strategies help.  It turned out that kids waited longer when they were distracted by a toy.  What worked best wasn’t “self-denial and grim determination” but doing something enjoyable while waiting so that self-control wasn’t needed at all![40] Third, the specifics of the situation – that is, the design of each experiment – were more important than the personality of a given child in predicting the outcome.[41]  This is precisely the opposite of the usual lesson drawn from these studies, which is that self-control is a matter of individual character, which we ought to promote. Fourth, even to the extent Mischel did look at stable individual characteristics, he was primarily concerned with “cognitive competencies” – strategies for how to think about (or stop thinking about) the goody – and how they’re related to other skills that are measured down the road.  In fact, those subsequent outcomes weren’t associated with the ability to defer gratification, per se, but only with the ability to distract oneself when those distractions weren’t provided by the experimenters.[42]  And that ability was significantly correlated with plain old intelligence.[43] Finally, most people who cite these experiments simply assume that it’s better to take a bigger pay-off later than a smaller pay-off now.  But is that always true?  Mischel, for one, didn’t think so.  “The decision to delay or not to delay hinges, in part, on the individual’s values and expectations with regard to the specific contingencies,” he and his colleagues wrote.  “In a given situation, therefore, postponing gratification may or may not be a wise or adaptive choice.”[44]

Why Self-Discipline Is Overrated (#) - Alfie Kohn

[petshopbutch]

i truly think buying myself a collar and wearing it at night would step up my Jerkin' It game so supremely but on the ooooother hand. buying myself a collar instead of letting a dom gift me one 1 day is like. the stanford marshmallow experiment of gay sex

[monstrous-femme]

I was a part of the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment but I was in the control group so none of that stuff happened to me (didn't get a marshmallow 😞)

[megadus247]

Why Discipline Beats Motivation Every Time (And How to Master It)

Discover why discipline outperforms motivation in achieving long-term success. Learn actionable strategies to build unshakable discipline, stay consistent, and achieve your goals—even when motivation fades.

Motivation is like a spark—it ignites action but quickly fades. Discipline, on the other hand, is the fire that keeps burning long after the initial excitement dies.

If you’ve ever set a New Year’s resolution only to abandon it by February, you’ve experienced the limitations of motivation. The truth? Discipline is the true driver of success.

In this guide, you’ll learn:

‎- Why motivation is unreliable (and why discipline isn’t)

‎- The science behind habit formation and self-control

‎- How to build unshakable discipline in 5 proven steps

‎- Real-world examples of discipline beating talent

‎- Practical strategies to stay consistent when motivation fails

Let’s dive in.

1. The Problem with Motivation: Why It Fails You

‎Motivation is emotional—it comes and goes based on how you feel. Some days, you’re pumped; other days, you’d rather binge Netflix.

Why Motivation is Flawed:

‎✅ Temporary High – Motivation spikes but crashes quickly (like a sugar rush).

‎✅ External Dependency – Relies on inspiration, mood, or external validation.

‎✅ Inconsistent Energy – You can’t control when or how strongly it appears.

Discipline, however, is a skill. It’s showing up even when you don’t feel like it.

2. The Science of Discipline: How Your Brain Adapts

‎Neuroscience shows that discipline strengthens like a muscle. The more you practice self-control, the easier it becomes.

Key Research Findings:

‎- The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment – Kids who delayed gratification succeeded more in life.

‎- Habit Loop (Cue-Routine-Reward) – Discipline turns actions into automatic habits.

‎- Neuroplasticity – Your brain rewires itself to make disciplined choices easier over time.

Bottom line: Discipline isn’t about willpower—it’s about training your brain.

3. How to Build Discipline: 5 Unbreakable Strategies

i. Start Small (The 2-Minute Rule)

‎- Commit to just 2 minutes of a task (e.g., "I’ll just write one sentence").

‎- Often, starting is the hardest part—momentum does the rest.

ii. Remove Decision Fatigue

‎- Plan your actions the night before (e.g., lay out gym clothes).

‎- Fewer choices = fewer excuses.

iii. Use the "Seinfeld Strategy" (Don’t Break the Chain)

‎- Mark an X on a calendar for every day you complete a task.

‎- The longer the streak, the harder it is to quit.

iv. Embrace Discomfort (The 40% Rule)

‎- When you feel like quitting, you’ve only used 40% of your potential.

‎- Push through—growth happens outside comfort zones.

v. Reward Discipline, Not Just Results

‎- Celebrate consistency (e.g., "I worked out 5 days this week").

‎- Reinforces the behavior, not just the outcome.

4. Real-Life Examples: Discipline > Talent

‎- Kobe Bryant – Trained at 4 AM daily, even after winning championships.

‎- J.K. Rowling – Wrote Harry Potter through rejection and poverty.

‎- Elon Musk – Worked 100-hour weeks to build Tesla and SpaceX.

‎Talent gets you noticed. Discipline gets you results.

5. How to Stay Disciplined When Motivation Dies

- Focus on Identity, Not Goals

‎Instead of "I want to lose weight," think "I am a healthy person."

- Use Accountability (Public Commitment)

‎Post progress online or partner with an accountability buddy.

- Reframe "I Have To" to "I Get To"

‎Shift mindset: "I get to work on my dream" vs. "I have to work."

Final Thought: Discipline is Freedom

‎

‎Motivation asks, "Do I feel like doing this?"

‎Discipline says, "It doesn’t matter how I feel—I’m doing it anyway."

‎

‎Master discipline, and you’ll master your life.

[janamonji]

Ms. Geek Speaks: Psych Student Fact-Checks for 'Shocking' Results

If you’re taking Psych 1 or Introduction to Psychology, or if you’re an informed adult, you’ve probably heard of these studies: The Marshmallow Experiment on Instant Gratification, the Milgram Obedience Experiment and the Stanford Prison Experiment. I learned about these decades ago and from time to time they pop up in pop culture, but I’m retaking Psychology 1 and after watching a 2024…

[josenoelrobles]

Divine Timing: Trusting God's Plan Over Ours

Introduction What if the answers to your prayers are delayed because you're not ready for them? It's a provocative thought that can shake the foundations of your faith and patience. The idea that God still answers prayers but in His own time, not ours, is both comforting and frustrating. But what does it really mean to wait on divine timing, and how can we align ourselves with this profound yet challenging concept? Personal Experience I don't know about you but I am the type of person that I want what I want now. I don't like to wait for anything or anyone. And that mentally has cost me a lot of pain, frustrations, and disappointments. One of my biggest prayers to God is to allow me to restore my relationship with my older kids. You see, I have screwed up in life many times, with many things and with many people. And one of those people affected by my decisions and behavior is my kids. I have 3 young adult children that unfortunately I don't have any relationship with. And it is all my fault. I have tried to reconnect with them on multiple occasions but at the moment I have not been successful. The wounds that I created in them perhaps are too big and they still need more time to heal. But I have faith that one day we will be all eating at the same table and spending time as a family creating new and better memories. To me, the idea that I would spend some time with any of my older kids was far away. I thought that perhaps when they were older and had their own kids and family and realized that being a parent is not easy; then they would give me an opportunity and forgive me and try to restore our relationship. Despite that, I prayed constantly to God for the chance to see them and spend time with them. To my surprise that prayer was answered a lot sooner than expected. Out of nowhere, my daughter texted my wife and communicated to her that she wanted to come and visit. When my wife told me this my heart wanted to come out of my chest. My wife asked from what time to what time? And it so happens that she wants to spend 2 weeks with us. I went and bought the plane tickets immediately. The crazy and beautiful thing is that during those weeks that she will be here, I will be celebrating my 40th birthday. What a beautiful gift from God and from my daughter. I couldn't ask for any better. You see, to me this was something that if it happened, it was going to happen years from now when they were older and with their own families. To God was now; a gift for my 40th birthday. God still answers prayers and performs miracles. He just does it on His time. He knows us and knows the future. He knows what we need and when we need it. As the song says; I don't know what are you doing but I know what you have done. We have to believe that God has our back. If we have not received what we want and our prayers have not been answered yet, don't stop praying. Instead, press in and ask God what is it that He is trying to teach you while you wait. The Data: Facts and Figures The intersection of faith and timing is a subject of interest not just in spiritual circles but also in psychological studies. A Pew Research Center survey found that 55% of Americans pray daily, seeking comfort and answers. However, the concept of delayed gratification, as explored in the famous Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, shows that the ability to wait and trust in future rewards is linked to greater success and emotional stability. From a theological perspective, numerous scriptures highlight the importance of patience and trust in God's timing. For example, Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, "To everything, there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven." This reinforces the belief that there is a divine schedule beyond our understanding. The Problem: Struggling with Divine Timing Problem 1: Impatience and Frustration In a fast-paced world where instant gratification is the norm, waiting for answers can be incredibly frustrating. This impatience can lead to feelings of despair and doubt. Problem 2: Misinterpretation of Delays Delays in answers to prayers are often misinterpreted as rejections or signs of unworthiness, leading to a crisis of faith. Problem 3: Lack of Control Humans have an inherent desire to control their destiny. Trusting in divine timing requires relinquishing control, which can be a significant psychological hurdle. The Solution: Embracing Divine Timing Step 1: Cultivate Patience and Trust Patience is a virtue that can be developed through mindfulness practices, meditation, and reflective prayer. By focusing on the present and trusting in a higher power, you can alleviate the anxiety of waiting. Step 2: Reflect on Past Experiences Look back on times when delays worked in your favor. Personal testimonies and biblical stories, like that of Abraham and Sarah waiting for Isaac, can provide reassurance and perspective. Step 3: Seek Spiritual Guidance Engage with spiritual mentors, pastors, or support groups. These individuals can offer wisdom and help you navigate periods of waiting with faith and optimism. Step 4: Focus on Personal Growth Use the waiting period as an opportunity for self-improvement. Engage in activities that enhance your skills, knowledge, and spiritual maturity. This proactive approach can make the waiting period more productive and less burdensome. Step 5: Surrender Control Practice surrendering control through prayer and meditation. Acknowledge that some aspects of life are beyond your control and trust that a higher power has a plan for you. Conclusion Trusting in God's timing is a profound act of faith that requires patience, reflection, and a willingness to surrender control. By cultivating these virtues and focusing on personal growth, you can navigate the periods of waiting with grace and confidence. Remember, God’s answers may not come when you want them, but they will always arrive at the perfect time. Read the full article

[tokaiss38]

Mastering the Balance: Navigating Instant and Delayed Gratification

In an age of instant connectedness and lightning-fast responses, the argument between instant satisfaction and delayed gratification has never been more pressing.

These opposing approaches to decision-making can have a significant impact on our lives, influencing our financial habits, job paths, and overall well-being. Understanding the relationship between these two notions is critical for making educated decisions that are consistent with our long-term goals and desires.

Instant gratification, defined as the drive for immediate rewards or pleasures, has become synonymous with modern life. With the stroke of a mouse, we can order items online, binge-watch our favorite shows, or indulge in sumptuous delights delivered right to our homes. While these rapid pleasures provide immediate delight, they frequently come with

Instant gratification, defined as the drive for immediate rewards or pleasures, has become synonymous with modern life. With the stroke of a mouse, we can order items online, binge-watch our favorite shows, or indulge in sumptuous delights delivered right to our homes.

While these quick pleasures provide temporary joy, they frequently have long-term implications, such as overspending, procrastinating, or disregarding important obligations. On the other hand, delayed gratification entails foregoing current pleasure in return for higher rewards in the future. This strategy necessitates patience, discipline, and a willingness to put up with short-term discomfort in exchange for long-term gains.

Whether it's investing in education, saving for retirement, or developing meaningful relationships, delayed gratification allows people to prioritize their long-term well-being over ephemeral cravings. The conflict between these two paradigms is visible in many areas of our lives, including personal wealth, job growth, and health and wellness.

Consider the person divided between buying a luxury item on impulse and saving the money for a down payment on a property. While fast gratification may bring immediate joy, it can also disrupt progress toward more important financial goals, such as homeownership or retirement savings. Similarly, in terms of job advancement, the decision between instant and delayed gratification might influence one's professional path. Choosing rapid gratification may entail seeking immediate rewards or promotions without considering the long-term effects on job satisfaction or personal development.

In contrast, accepting delayed gratification may require spending time and effort in skill development.

Furthermore, the effects of rapid and delayed gratification extend to our physical and mental health.

Choosing fast gratification, such as eating unhealthy foods or engaging in sedentary habits, can provide immediate pleasure while also contributing to long-term health difficulties such as obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease.

Prioritizing delayed gratification by adopting healthy lifestyle habits like regular exercise and balanced eating, on the other hand, can result in better health outcomes and a higher quality of life over time.

Psychological research has demonstrated the importance of delayed gratification in predicting success and resilience in a variety of life areas. The seminal Stanford marshmallow experiment found that children who could delay gratification by refusing to eat a marshmallow right away in exchange for a greater reward later had higher levels of self-control, academic achievement, and overall well-being as adults.

Finding a balance between rapid gratification and delayed gratification is critical for personal harmony and fulfillment.

While rapid gratification provides immediate rewards and joys, it frequently involves trade-offs that may jeopardize long-term goals and aspirations.

Deferred gratification, on the other hand, demands patience, perseverance, and a firm commitment to future accomplishment, but it results in greater benefits and long-term happiness.

Finally, the interplay between rapid satisfaction and delayed gratification emphasizes the basic distinction between short-term indulgence and long-term fulfillment. Understanding the ramifications of each method and making intentional decisions that prioritize our long-term well-being will allow us to negotiate life's challenges with clarity, purpose, and resilience. Finally, mastering the balance between instant satisfaction and delayed gratification is critical to realizing our full potential and leading a meaningful and rewarding life.

[casspurrjoybell-17]

Heart’s Choice - Chapter 39 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Carlos Martinez

"Fuck," John exhales and his hold on me gentles.

"Are you okay?"

I give him a light squeeze and release him, pushing him away to arm's length so I can look at him.

"I am now."

"You're not hurt?"

"Nope. All healed."

I tilt my head so he can see the side of my neck.

His gaze locked on the spot, he swallows hard and a flash of red mingles with the autumnal hues of his mercurial eyes.

"John?"

Inhaling sharply, he breaks free of whatever had taken hold of him and lets go of me.

"Thank God for that," he says.

"I've been losing my mind. David wouldn't let me near you."

David, having recovered from near strangulation with surprising grace, smooths the remains of his torn and rumpled clothes into a sad semblance of his usual pristine appearance as he approaches us.

"Have you heard of the marshmallow test, John?" he asks.

John takes a deep breath and turns to face him.

"David, I am really not in the mood for one of your cryptic lessons right now."

David arches a brow at him.

"Humor me."

"Fine. No, I haven't heard of it."

Clasping his hands behind his back disarmingly, David adopts the stance of a professor lecturing a class.

"It's a famous experiment conducted at Stanford. A group of children were given a marshmallow and told that they could eat it immediately or they could wait and receive an additional reward. The children were then left alone for a period of time. When the researchers returned, the children who had not eaten the marshmallow were given an additional treat. The researchers then followed the children for forty years, tracking their progress through life. Those who were able to delay gratification were markedly more successful throughout and in all measured aspects of their lives."

"What is your point?"

David nods at me.

"Carlos is your marshmallow, John. To put it quite bluntly, you can eat him now or you can wait and eat him later, with the additional reward of not killing him in the process."

"I'm not going to eat him," John growls.

"Ever."

"Really? That is not a winning bet, I fear, no matter how you interpret it. The two of you share a blood bond. No blood will satisfy you the way Carlos' does and you will never stop craving it, until you kill him or he is fully turned, that is. In time, you will learn to temper your desires but for the first few weeks or months, it is better to be safe than to be very, very sorry."

John shakes his head.

"I'm not like you, David."

Having overcome my shock, alarm and relief, I finally speak up.

"Don't I get a say in any of this? I'm too spicy to be a marshmallow, anyway."

David smiles at me.

"Of course you get a say. The difficulty is this... I fear I will only be able to protect you for so long. Having witnessed our little display, you can see that John has already surpassed me in strength and he has not been turned a week. Soon, I will have as little chance of stopping him, should he lose control, as you would have of stopping a freight train by standing it its path. I believe it is an effect of having fed from you while you were possessed by a powerful demon but John is undoubtedly the strongest and the most unique, vampire I have ever seen. I am simply not yet certain what that means."

"It means you can trust him," I say, surprising myself with how confident I sound.

"I trust him, anyway."

David fixes me with a cold, calculated stare, making it impossible to guess his thoughts and sending a shiver up my spine.

"Prove it, then," he says.

"Just bear in mind that I may not be able to save you, should your faith prove misplaced."

I look at John but I can't quite read his expression.

I guess this will be a lover's leap, after all.

Keeping my eyes locked with John's, I nod.

"Fine. Show him."

Taking a deep breath, John closes the small distance between us so that we stand chest to chest.

Fighting the instinctual urge to retreat from him, I hold my ground as his gaze flicks to the base of my throat and his eyes gleam red.

Lifting his eyes to mine again, he pins me in place and leans in, gently brushing the hair away from my face and whispers against my ear.

"Your heart's beating like crazy. Are you afraid of me?"

"A little," I breathe.

"Good."

"I trust you, though... with my life."

"I know."

He kisses me lightly, a brush of lips and a flick of his tongue and breathes me in.

A low sound, somewhere between a growl and a purr, rumbles in his chest but he backs off.

I catch at his shirt and keep him close.

"Is that all I get?"

"Carlos..."

"Kiss me like you mean it, John."

"Fuck."

He slams me against the wall, his hand at my throat and his body pressed against mine.

With the air half knocked from my lungs, I gasp.

He covers my mouth with his own, stifling breath and sound.

His kiss is hungry, devouring, possessive, invasive, sensual and passionate.

My whole body screams 'take me now' and if he did, I wouldn't care if David watched... he might as well be an inanimate object as far as my hormones are concerned.

All too soon, John draws back, pupils wide and black and chest heaving.

Two short, sharp fangs show at the corners of his mouth and one has cut his bottom lip, leaving a smear of blood.

He licks it and moves towards me again, eyes angled at my throat.

"John..." David's tone carries a warning but John ignores him.

I shut my eyes and tip my head back and to the side.

I can't resist and part of me wants to feel the sharp sting of his bite, an unbearable blend of pain and pleasure and perfect submission.

His lips brush my skin, he kisses the side my neck and the hot lick of his tongue sends a shock through my core that draws forth a soft, embarrassing moan.

He doesn't bite.

Instead, he withdraws enough to meet my eyes, cupping the side of my face and rubbing his thumb over my bottom lip.

"Later, you''ll be all mine," he says, his rough whisper sending a shiver up my spine.

David sighs dramatically.

"Honestly, John, was all that really necessary? I hope you know you're playing with fire and this won't get easier. However, I believe you, something about you is different. I don't know if it's because of the demon or because you were infected for so long before you turned but you have an unusual level of control. Now, pull yourself together, the both of you and get your minds out of your trousers. We have guests."

********

Half an hour later and dressed in a set of stylish clothes in the latest fashion 'either David has a great eye or he took my measurements in my sleep' I follow John down an airy flight of glass stairs to the floor below.

Everything in David's multilevel apartment has a clean, ultra-modern feel, from the neutral tones to the minimalist accents.

It's not exactly cold but neither is it warm and welcoming.

What's missing, I realize, is the sense that the space is 'lived in.'

Everything looks brand new and there's not so much as a dirty dish to be found.

Near the bottom of the stairs, John stops so abruptly I nearly bump into his back.

Looking past him, I see why.

The 'guests' that await us are none other than John's ex-wife, Becky and She-wolf Freya Hunter.

"How...?"

David, who sits across from them on a cream leather sofa set, rises gracefully.

With not a blonde hair out of place, no trace of his earlier scuffle with John remains and he looks like he stepped from the pages of a men's fashion magazine.

"You have made some interesting new friends, John," David says.

"Ms. Hunter has just been telling me of her own connections. Her partner, Monsieur L'Amour and I are but distantly acquainted but he has my deepest admiration and respect. He is one of the 'old guard' as we say. As for our dear Rebecca..."

He casts Becky a reassuring smile, to which she responds with a barely suppressed shudder.

"Well, I am only surprised you kept your secret for so long. Becky would have made a fine huntress in another life. Though I suppose you might say she hunts monsters of a different sort, in her own way. Regardless, I believe we have nothing to fear for her having learned of our existence."