#starting multichapter long fics I have no hope in hell of finishing

[starlightcleric]

Let me just ride this wave of writing productivity and not examine the fact I’ve been waking up early and barely eating and low-key vibrating and-

[valeriianz]

For the fic writer asks:

4. Obviously you did research for BitB. I'd love you to ramble about it if you like I'm sure you've got STORIES

5. Did you outline it?

7. How'd you decide it would be Hob's pov?

25-27 I'd love to know a/some favorite lines, details, and any lore you might want to share

omg TJ what wonderful questions! thank you!! this is going to get LONG!

4: Rambling about research!

do you wanna see a screen shot of my bookmarks under my "band au" folder?

man, and that's only what could fit on the screen.

there is... SO MUCH i chose to ignore for this fic. ideas that i had to drop, lines or extra details about the other band members equipment. more logistics, what Lucienne actually does, what Mervyn has to put up with as the new touring stage manager... i realized very early on that i couldn't possibly cram all this (super cool and eye opening) information into the fic and still keep reader's interest and, most importantly, to not stray away from the fact that this is a dreamling fic. whenever i felt myself getting carried away with a side character or job or even social media numbers, gossip, outside POVs, i had to reign myself in and get back on track. there will be time for exploring everything i missed in side stories after BitB is finished. i just hope i still have the energy to write it all.

once, i was so deep into research that after publishing chapter 2, i went into work and when my chef asked what "GA" meant on my prep list, i answered with full confidence, "general admission."

(it means "get ahead.")

the worst part of this entire writing process is im still learning new shit. i havent rewatched or read a lot of what i've saved because, to be very honest, i was feeling a little burnt out. it's why we're kinda full steam dreamling now. it's why ive been glossing over a lot of technical stuff and being vague about conversations amongst the crew/not including it at all. i don't prefer ignoring my research, but at the end of the day i want to still enjoy writing this fic and finish it. even if i can't be as descriptive and detailed and nuanced as i used to be.

5: Did you outline the fic?

(also asked by @hardly-an-escape!)

i wouldn't call what i have a proper "outline," it's more like a 20k word document filled to the brim with notes that i skim at least a dozen times while i'm writing a new chapter (being in my brain is literally hell). i live multichapter life very dangerously. i copy and paste lines or sections (always scattered, never together! augh!) that are meant to go together and plop them in a new document titled "band au ch.#" and then i structure the chapter around what i want to happen.

but to answer this question in the plainest of terms: yeah. i know exactly what's going to happen up until the very end. even if its all in my head and the only concrete shit that's written down are beats/plot points. i'll figure out the rest later!

7: How'd you decide it would be Hob's POV?

i actually never even considered writing it from Dream's POV. this was my first fic in the fandom (which is so nuts to think about lol) and writing in Dream's POV sounded so scary lol. i also just thought Hob's would be easier because i have worked a few backstage shows, back in my college years. i figured eh, i can make this work. and i loved exploring how weird and mysterious musicians can be, from a normie's POV. making Hob a fan first and having him worry about developing a parasocial relationship... it was fun to explore.

25: Share your favorite line

oh god, i have so many haha.

“What are you thinking about?” starting in ch.2 and onward lmao

“It’s–” Dream laughs quietly, bitterly. “I don’t like change.” He says each word with emphasis, eyes trailing down to fixate somewhere past Hob. “And I still hold onto the things I can control, like my instruments–” his eyes swing up to regard Hob apologetically. “Or my clothes or my–” he brings a hand up and wiggles his fingers around his head. “My hair.” ch.4

"His majesty is pleased." ch.5

“You are obsessive,” he states, slow and cool and with a quiet smile cracking through his composure. “Just like me.” ch.7

“You look good.” Hob has to lean in to say so, unwilling to raise his voice amongst the roar of the fans. ch.11

“Del looks like porcelain, but she’s actually made of steel.” Desire swirls the contents of their glass before pushing their shoulders back with a deep breath. “She's tougher than all of us.” ch.11

“Everything. I want…” his fingers tighten in Hob’s hair, pulling him closer, speaking against his lips. “…Everything.” ch.14

26: Share your favorite detail

how intentionally coy Dream behaves. i love keeping him a mystery and deciding when and how much to allow his intentions to peek through has been so fun lol.

Despair is in fact covered in tattoos and piercings! i say this because i feel like sometimes i forget lmao. (but also her and Hob don't interact much so. my bad haha).

Delirium's constant explosion of color in the way she dresses <3

Hob's dedication to his job, Dream, and the people he cares about the most. i don't care if people think i'm making him too soft and good, im gonna project on that man and make him a sweet, sweet simp lmao

and ah, this doesn't matter anymore, and i kinda regret doing it but. i originally had Dream's favorite bass all black but the pickguard was white. so it actually looked like Jessamy. not gonna lie when @designtheendless drew it all black i decided i liked it better that way. and truly i do. that's when i went back to ch.1 and changed it haha. to actually see the guitar with Dream, all done up sparkling black and purple flecks... gosh it's just so him. but then i got up to the reveal that the guitar's name was Jessamy and i was like, "oh, right." lmao. no one seems to care so i'll leave it be.

27: Share a piece of lore you made up for the story

i have a lot lmao. and this post is already so long... im hoping i can get to some if not all of it in side fics in the future. but for now, here's some that's more like headcanons but:

Dream hates flying. he can full on go into panic attacks on the plane if he allows himself to get into his own head.

this was mentioned briefly in ch.4, while Dream was discussing the formation of the band, but Despair was in another band before joining Endless. she is the only character in the fic who gets to keep her English roots (lol sorry) and is the oldest in the band (30).

all of the band members ages: Dream, Desire, and Death are all 28 and Delirium is 22.

Dream can experience subdrop after going too hard during a performance.

Dream paints his own nails, it's very therapeutic.

as an exercise, i explored my own headcanons for Dream in this verse in a word doc, and one thing i will share from it that you might find interesting: If I were to ever give Dream a theological values, I would describe him as a satanist. He is a physical and pragmatic person, nonconforming, and although he is introverted, he enjoys being a part of a community (he loves his band).

also found this in my notes: How Desire and Dream got along was Death making them fight it out. Hob raises an eyebrow “like in a brawl?” He couldn't imagine Desire throwing hands. “No, in a pillow fight that escalated in hair pulling and verbal taunts.”

fic writer asks

[cordeliawhohung]

hihi core!!! i hope you’re doing great! can i get 🍉, 🍒, 🍎, and 🍓 for that ask game? if any of them have already been asked feel free to sub or skip <33 MWAH

hi glossy!! sorry i'm getting to this late lmao.

Do you prefer to write short fics or long fics? Multichaptered works or single ones? Why?

i prefer to write short fics for the sake of time management. the brain worms force me to write multichaptered works ): jk! depends on the type of story! i prefer both, and realize there are some ideas best left as one shots, and others best expanded into multichaptered. though, the one shots def are a lot less stress lmao

What’s your favorite character dynamic to write? (Can be romantic or platonic, specific or general!)

ugh i always love writing traumatized older sibling figure protecting younger sibling figure. i don't think i've written anything like that here, but i have a few og works and other fanworks where i do this. and protecting can mean anything, like saving them from the horrible truth, or just from overall discomfort, etc.

Is there anything you straight-up won’t write?

i can't think of a specific thing off the top of my head, but honestly anything that seems too corny to me i just... hate writing lmao. like anything that seems non-authentic. actually, wait, i also hate writing cheating. like i don't mind writing it if it's not like, between main characters/main romance partners. like, in Where Your Feet Pass reader gets cheated on by her husband, and that's fine to me because that's more of a plot thing that pushes her into Kyle's lap. but i can't stomach writing/even reading cheating in other types of settings.

What’s a fic you’ve written you feel is underrated?

hmm, i don't know! i always feel like soft spot deserves more love; like, proper love. i have a handful of people following that series who are an absolute joy to interact with! but i feel like a lot of the beginning part of the story was misinterpreted. had a lot of people sort of... demanding what i should be doing with the series and the note fall off once i made it clear this wasn't going to be a complete kink/smut fic was very obvious a;ldkjf. hell, even on ao3 i remember reading a bookmark where someone was like "this fic is good, too bad the smut doesn't start until here tho" and i was like damn, okay then. it's honestly my pride and joy though, and i'm forever grateful to the people who do show it love! they're the reason the series is even close to finishing (145k words later lmao)

thank you so much for the ask! had a joy answering them (:

[fridayyy-13th]

20 questions for fic writers

tysm @three-magpies-in-a-trenchcoat for the tag!!

How many works do you have on Ao3? 4

What's your total Ao3 word count? 13,296

What fandoms do you write for? i used to write for the Hermitcraft fandom, but i've discontinued the one fic i started for it and moved on to The Magnus Archives. i've got a couple story ideas for other fandoms, but idk if they'll go anywhere.

What are your top five fics by kudos? well, i've only got four! but from most- to least-kudosed, there's: - Double Trouble (Hermitcraft, rated G, incomplete multichapter) - Know What Can't Be Shown, Feel What Can't Be Known (TMA, rated T, oneshot) - Time Enough to Spend Some Time Alone (TMA, rated T, oneshot) - Here, Nowhere, Somewhere With You (TMA, rated G, oneshot) and i'm totally not salty my two most kudosed fics are an incomplete work and something i posted at 3am, respectively.

Do you respond to comments? hell yeah! i love answering comments <3

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? gotta say Time Enough, bc it's more refined than its predecessor, Know What Can't Be Shown (man i really need to stop giving my fics such long titles, i always end up shortening them when referring to them). but for reference, both are pre-Unknowing jmart kiss fics; it's a favored headcanon of mine. Time Enough also spends more time musing on how Jon and Martin are feeling—that is, they feel Bad. Absolutely Terrible. sad and scared, both for the Unknowing and for each other.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Here, Nowhere, Somewhere, absolutely. the ending itself is pretty open, but Jon and Martin have reunited post-MAG 200, admitted they still love each other after its events, and found themselves Somewhere Else. it's the most hopeful.

Do you get hate on fics? not yet, thankfully. i'm not a well-known enough author for that lol.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? i do not! and i doubt i ever will. props to everyone who does, though.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? i don't really write crossovers, at least none i ever planned to publish, but i do have a couple fusion AUs in the works (that is, taking one story's premise and combining it w/the characters of another). and funnily enough, both are based on songs.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? i sure hope not.

Have you ever had a fic translated? no. though if someone offered to, i'd be honored!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? technically? a friend of mine and i made a couple AUs for a few different MCYT fandoms that never really went anywhere, but i've never co-authored something that's made it to publishing.

What's your all time favorite ship? probably jonmartin. i've read a ridiculous amount of fanfic for them, and i think pretty much all my WIPs feature it if both Jon and Martin are there (sometimes i'll make them queerplatonic, and sometimes they'll be part of a poly ship like jongerrymartin, but jmart tends to be pretty Do Not Separate in my mind lmao).

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? ages ago i was reading this one rom-com webcomic where two people wound up as roommates bc the landlord accidentally rented the single apartment to both of them, which i thought was a really cute premise, but then BAM there was some really awful transphobia in it. when called out in the comments, the author doubled down, so i snatched up the concept and decided "i'm gonna make this t4t out of SPITE." but uh i've found spite doesn't work very well as a fuel source for my work, and i can get the same awkward domesticity/mutual pining out of a safehouse fic, so it'll probably just stay buried in the WIPs folder.

What are your writing strengths? dialogue. or at least, making a character's dialogue sound like their voice. vocabulary, things like stammering or using filler words, cutting oneself off or pausing a bunch, that sort of thing. though sometimes the dialogue itself feels a little clunky. i also think i'm rather good at writing emotional scenes, especially once i'm in the editing stage of things.

What are your writing weaknesses? over-editing. my utter beloathed. i sometimes get really caught up in trying to make everything as clear as possible, when that just makes the work 5,000 words too long and takes way more time to do. i'm trying to be better about it.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i think it's neat! but if you're monolingual you should read up on writing bilingual/multilingual characters beforehand, don't just wing it.

First fandom you wrote for? probably Pokémon? i'm not entirely sure.

Favorite fic you've written? Time Enough, hands-down. (though uh, hypothetically, if i wanted to make some small edits to it, would it be weird to do so? especially seven months after posting? there's a handful of lines i wish i'd phrased a bit differently.)

tags (no pressure!!): @radical-dadical-rafael @dramaticdads @winterswrandomness @ollieofthebeholder @ladydragonkiller @incandescentis @cornmazehater @jewishjon

[dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you]

I saw in your tags that there’s some old destiel fic you like on ffn. Do you have any recs ? :)

omg I haven’t been on there in years! like last time I read anything on there was like in 2014 lmao xD

32 fics total - I just checked and all of them are still up...there’s like 30+ more that I bookmarked that isn’t on the list cuz I’m not sure if they’re destiel fics or not so I gotta re-read them

all the ones below are fics that I’ve recced before in the past

1. All Angels Need Their Wings - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 29,784 (2012)

Dean never thought that Castiel would ever return. And when he did, he came in a very unexpected way, a very horrifying way. SLASH Castiel/Dean. Wing-Kink. Takes place in season 7. AU.

2. Heart Trouble - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 74,320 (2011)

Dean's having a harder and harder time of denying what he feels for a certain blue-eyed friend of his. And it's making him a little ornery, and a lot confused.

3. It Hurts - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 29,963 (2013)

Inspired by the S9 Trailer Cas had watched the angels fall and with them, his self worth. Now human facing the challenges of navigating mortality he also tries to find a place for himself in this new world. It is a hope he has to find without the Winchesters, without Dean. So now he runs, from both Heaven, Hell and from Dean. 

4. Small Problem - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 13,310 (2011)

A cursed artifact has made Castiel miniature, it's amusing for the Winchesters at first until they realize he might stay that way forever. Slash Dean/Castiel Please R&R

5 My Broken Angel - RATING: M | LENGTH: 24,999 (2010)

When Castiel disappears from his vessel, Dean is concerned. But when Castiel reappears and seems to avoid him, Dean is heartbroken. Set mid-season 5. 

6. A Hand - RATING: M | LENGTH: 23,474 (2010)

Dean/Cas, multichapter, slight AU. Dean's busy trying to re-soulify his brother, but Cas needs help. Maybe it's time Dean gave it to him. Ch. 15: Dean glared indignantly. "I find the term 'lovebirds' to be offensive. We prefer to be called 'sex-falcons.'" 

7. Saving Grace - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 38,602 (2010)

With everything that was going wrong in Dean's life, it took him a while to realize that the person close to him that really needed the most help was Castiel. 

8. Candy - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 98,068 (2013)

The Fall from Heaven changed everything. The supernatural no longer hidden. Angels roaming the planet. Sam and Dean's immediate concerns were on a smaller scale. What do you do with the former King of Hell? Where is Castiel?... Destiel/Mute!Human!Cas/Angst!Dean

9. Dude, Dean Looks Like a Lady - RATING: M | LENGTH: 20,774 *gen/pre-slash* (2013)

Sam's good, Cas has been found, and demons everywhere seem to be on hiatus. Seems like things are looking up for Team Free Will that is until Dean wakes up with his very own vagina anyway. Warnings: Fem!Dean, Destiel, female masturbation and S8 spoilers.

10. Evil Intent, Trials of Love, & Finding My Angel - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 36,729, 70,453, & 59,941 *rape, graphic torture, violence* (2009)

Anna rapes Castiel and uses a method that torments him more than anything imaginable. WARNING: Rape and Castiel/Dean makes sense when you read it . If you don't like then don't read!

11. Cascade - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 44,626 (2013)

"And if you fall as Lucifer fell, you fall in flames!" An 8x23 coda. 

12. Count The Cracks, Hear The Shatters, Feel The Insanities - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 44,626 *gen/pre-slash* (2013)

They've walked miles on gravel roads that led to hell and back but the journey never quite ends. This is the story of Castiel and the Winchesters after the angels fell from heaven. Post Season 8. 

13. Damn Straight & Wait Wait Wait - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: about 21,000 (2010)

Humorous Cas/Dean, with multiple POVs. Slight AU. Fluffy. Ch. 5: Sam sat in the Impala in the motel parking lot, praying that three and a half hours at the library had been long enough.

14. Entertaining Angels - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 43,659 *gen/pre-slash* (2008)

A strange boy shows up at Dean and Sam’s motel room. Maybe he needs help, or maybe he’s there to help them—they can’t quite tell. Spoilers through 4.10. Not an OC. 

15. Happy Friggin’ Valentine’s Day - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 22,771 (2010)

SLASH. It all started with Dean's perfectly healthy hatred of frivilous holidays and a much-coveted sack of dust. Poor Castiel doesn't fully understand 'romance' to begin with, and this crash course is most unwelcome. 

16. I’m Just a Love Machine - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 29,200 (2011)

The Impala finally gets the chance to love Dean back. The problem is, Castiel seems to be in its way. 

17. It’s The Great Destiel Shipper, Sam Winchester - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 49,641 (2012)

What's Sam really doing all that time on the computer? Fangirling. Over Chuck's Supernatural books. Now Wincest might be a bit too much to deal with, but Destiel he might be able to get on board with... Especially after being around the two people involved for three days straight. 

18. Pain in the Head - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 78,771 *character death* (2011)

It started out slow. "Since when do angels have headaches?" "Since they become human." Established Dean/Cas. Sort of AU. PG-13. Complete. 

19. Sleep in Heavenly Peace - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 45,517 *christmas fic* (2013)

Dean wants to have a nice, peaceful Christmas for once, but it seems like the universe won't let him. Dean/Castiel. Post-8.08 (Hunteri Heroici) AU. First in "Holidays With the Winchesters are Always Fun." 

20. The Shattered One - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 94,021 *grace mpreg* (2012)

When it struck Castiel, it dropped him out of the sky. He set down the first place he could find. He stood in a field in Switzerland, swaying on his feet and staring down at his body, dazed by what it had just done.

21. This Cupid Isn’t Stupid - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 41,572 (2012)

Dean receives a shock when he wakes up to discover Castiel has returned. Why is the angel suddenly back? Why have his powers dimmed? And.. Why are he and Dean joined together by an invisible rope!

22. Wild Horses, Cas - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 23,505 (2013)

(S8 Spoilers (story is set in S9), Sickfic! Destiel, Minor Sabriel). When Cas comes down with a bad case of Pneumonia it leaves Dean feeling more protective over his friend than ever, but will it also lead to Dean's admittance of his feelings towards his friend? 

23. Wrong - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 51,384 (2010)

Angels are not supposed to drop out of the sky into motel rooms, broken and beaten. They're not supposed to bleed like that. It was all wrong. 

24. The Reluctant Contestant - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 50,502 (2012)

AU When Gabriel is hired as a new host for a dating show, Cas has no choice but to follow his brother along as part of the camera crew. Forced at the last minute to be a contestant, he is shocked when Dean Winchester continually refuses to eliminate him. 

25. The Ugly Duckling - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 81,676 (2012)

Castiel: a nerdy, skinny thing with a crush on the the most popular guy in class. Being unpopular isn't easy and it's worse when the homophobic school figures him out. A small struggle to be noticed by his crush is turned into a huge struggle for himself and his dignity. But bullying can get the better of anyone. Slash. Destiel rated M for later chapters. 

26. Nameless - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 77,882 (2013)

AU. Everyone has the name of their soulmate written on their wrist at birth. Well, everyone except Dean Winchester. Complete. 

27. Cufflinks - RATING: M | LENGTH: 61,845 (2012)

The world is full of creatures that prey on humans. It is up to 'Hunters' to fight against the dark. Lucky Hunters rely on the help of angels they have bound to their service. Sam and Dean may be good Hunters, but they have yet to capture an angel. One day, Sam finds an angel and seizes the opportunity to bind the angel to himself. Little did they know what they were getting into. 

28. Angel Training - RATING: M | LENGTH: 95,700, Angel Training 2: Save Us - RATING: M | LENGTH: 76,888, & Angel Training 3: Uprising - RATING: M | LENGTH: 89,512 (2011)

In a world where angels are common and the most privileged or skilled people are able to own one; the world's angelic hierarchy is about to change when Dean Winchester receives a wild and recently caught angel.

29. Chasing Your Shadow - RATING: M | LENGTH: 92,077 (2012)

The prophecy says that when Castiel turns twenty-three winters old, a stranger will come into his life and bring a lot of suffering. But do prophecies always come true? Demon Dean/human Castiel AU 

30. The Holiday - RATING: M | LENGTH: 32,088 (2011)

Castiel and Sam are unlucky in both life and love, so they swap houses for the holidays. Both find the experience highly...interesting. Dean/Castiel Sam/Gabriel

31. And In Your Arms I Shall Find Shelter- RATING: M | LENGTH: 33,824 (2012)

Dean Winchester is a long forgotten painter who suddenly receives an order for a painting from a rich man - Crowley. He is about to start painting when Castiel - his personal reaper visits him. The main question is: Will Castiel give Dean enough time to finish the painting? 

32. Jar of Hearts - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 127,192 (2013)

February being the supposed 'month of love' people seem to forget that it's also one of the coldest times of the year. Valentine's Day themed events in a cafe turned bar is how Dean managed the courage to speak to the locally famous singer and somehow score a date, a relationship, and a man he didn't deserve out of the deal. Destiel college/uniAU some Sabriel 

[ultimatebethylficlist]

Veteran Author of The Month: June 2021

The featured veteran author for June is also a co-admin right here at UBFL: SquishyCool (or @im-immortal )!

SquishyCool can be found on AO3 and FFN under the same penname.

When asked what got her into Bethyl and what the fandom means to her, she said:

I’ve been a hardcore TWD fan since the show began airing, but that’s because of my love for zombies. In all honesty, I didn’t really ship anyone for the first 3-4 seasons. I kind of shipped Daryl with Carol, but then it became clear that it was a platonic relationship and in all honesty, I just wanted to see them both get some action lmao. Then the prison fell... and in those first moments of “Still,” when we see Beth and Daryl running and running and finally collapsing on the ground, breathless and exhausted... the butterflies started. Something clicked and I immediately thought, “uh oh.” The rest is history, especially considering how “Still” and “Alone” played out. I can’t explain how or why I’m still so heavily invested, especially considering my last 2 fandoms only kept my attention for about 2-3 years each, but here I am. And I love it! I am so incredibly grateful for the Bethyl fandom because not only has it helped me improve my writing so much more than I ever could have imagined, but it has also introduced me to some of the most amazing people, including someone who I now consider one of my very best friends! It’s my happy place :)

For her personal fic rec list, she recommends:

In The Maw by ronsparkyspeirs

Way Down We Go by LeathernLaces

Surfacing by lindentree

Wild Things (The Moonshine Poet) by Abelina

The Gift by Feliz

The Man Who Can't Be Moved by burningupasun

New Experiences Series by wallflow3r

Whisper Softly to Me by taylorcatherine

Interstice by leftmywingshome

To Love Like a Man by Seraphique

Death, Death (i defy thee) by alamorn

In My Blood by Courtneyshortney82

Let the Good Times Roll by gutsforgarters

Resolved by Allatariel

the weight of these wings by peachthorns

all my spaces are filled with you by annabeth_writes

A Little Jailbreak with the Little Jailbait by wandering_gypsy_feet

between the beginning and the end by sheriffandsteel

SquishyCool’s Works & Personal Thoughts:

Dirty Fingernails and Dried Blood Summary: What happened during the months between "Still" and "Alone"? Beth uses the last pages of her diary to write down every detail of surviving with Daryl. Thoughts: My first Bethyl fanfic. It holds a special place in my heart for that reason, though it is pretty rough. If I could go back, I never would’ve done it entirely in first-person. But I do plan to finish it one day. There are some scenes I’m particularly proud of, and I still have a long note full of ideas and plot points.

Most Wanted Summary: After Beth’s mother and half-brother are murdered in a drug war, the godly veil on the Greene Family operation is lifted, and law enforcement comes down hard. In an effort to protect her family, Beth commits a heinous crime that could mean life in prison alongside them. Now everyone she’s ever trusted is in police custody and her only chance at freedom is to get as far away from Atlanta as she can... Thoughts: Well, this is a must-read if you like my writing. I hope to one day convert this into an original fiction and maybe get it published, but I need to finish it first LOL. I got the idea from ONE scene of “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,” and from there, it exploded into a huge mystery thriller (with lots of romance and smut). I’m really really proud of it, and I’m scared I’ll fuck it up tbh, so I keep putting off continuing it. But I really need to get back to it because I really want people to see what I have planned! (Also, this fic is the reason @courtneyshortney82​ started talking to me, so that alone is pretty historic lmao)

The Crow’s Song Summary: Beth and Daryl spend a few more days together in the funeral home and come to terms with all they've lost along the way. But soon, they must decide what comes next. Thoughts: This fic... this fucking fic. It took me a full year to write. I made numerous edits. I even got a little depressed while I was writing the last two chapters, and my bf didn’t know why until he read what I’d been writing lol. It’s honestly the Bethyl fic I’ve always wanted to write but just didn’t know how. I’m still really really proud of how it turned out.

Carnival Games Summary: Daryl is a traveling carnival worker and Beth is a barely legal farmer's daughter looking for a night of fun when the carnival comes to town. Thoughts: Omg this fic is so fun!! One of my first Bethyl fics, and one of my first Bethyl smut fics. Short, sweet, a little funny, and a lot hot. I am still impressed with myself on this one, especially considering how much my writing has improved since lol

Breathe. Please. Summary: Beth shows up at the Hilltop. Alive. Daryl can hardly believe his eyes. Until she's lying in his bed, an arm's reach away. And he can hear her inhaling... exhaling... inhaling... Thoughts: Another “fix-it” that I’m proud of. Tbh I didn’t think it was anything all that special, but a lot of readers have said it’s one of their favorites, and some say they reread it regularly, and nothing makes me happier than hearing that, so I am extremely proud.

picking @ scabs Summary: Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, being with them just isn't right. But what wouldn't you give for it to be right? Can someone like Daryl learn how to swallow his pride and stop repeating the same mistakes over and over? Can someone like Beth learn to fight off her demons and allow him to get close enough to hurt her again? How can they stay away from each other when it's all too easy to fall back into one another? Picking a scab will leave a scar, but they both have so many scars already... what's a few more? Thoughts: This fic is very, very personal for me. It’s like my “therapy” fic. I have poured some of my deepest feelings and struggles into its chapters, and the whole idea that got me to start it was that I wanted to find a way to navigate and cope with ending my 3-year long relationship with my emotionally/mentally/sometimes physically abusive ex. I still have a lot of fond memories from that relationship, but even more so, I have painful memories. Not to mention, going through your early 20s as a woman in the modern day is a fuckin’ trip, so this kind of explores that. It’s really self-indulgent, I think, but I’m really proud of the smut in it. And more than that, I’m proud of the response. I’ve had a few people message me or comment to say that they’ve felt all those things, or have experienced similar things, and it’s really just... relieving. I put my heart and soul out there, and what I got back was “you’re not alone.” So yeah, this fic is special. I wanna finish it soon, but I have to be in A Mood to do so. 

In Toto Corde Summary: Despite a million reasons not to, Beth and Daryl fell in love. Then he made the ultimate sacrifice in order to keep all of his promises. Now, facing unimaginable consequences at the hands of witch hunters, Beth has no choice but to use her powers to bring Daryl back from the dead. "He won't be the same..." Thoughts: I LOVE THIS FIC. I love it so much that I had to rewrite it after like 4 or 5 years. And I already started on a sequel that I really hope I’m able to finish. Though it doesn’t have many hits, and I don’t think many people have read it at all, which I understand since it basically is entirely focused around Daryl being killed. But damn, I’m proud of this one, and it was really fucking fun to write because witch!Beth is just... the best.

risk it all (part 1 of in for a penny, in for a pound) Summary: Daryl Dixon has a pretty decent life, all things considered. He's got his own place. A good dog. A few friends. Even a girlfriend. He keeps himself out of trouble. Until he starts texting Beth Greene. And hell, if he ain't about to risk it all for this damn girl. Thoughts: This was supposed to be one short multichapter fic focused entirely on smut and social media. Then I got on a roll and it ended up being the beginning of a series! This fic is purely fun. Nothing too serious or heavy. I write it when I’m in a Good Mood because it’s my little happy place. I have plans for about 4 more fics before the series will be finished!

Don’t Make Me Haunt You Summary: So here's the thing: Merle Dixon is dead as fuck. And as it turns out, Beth Greene is the only one who can see or hear him. Which is weird considering she's never met or even heard of this guy, let alone anyone with the last name Dixon. That's her first problem... Thoughts: The reception to this fic has absolutely blown me away. I had no idea anyone would want to read about ghost!Merle haunting Beth and forcing her to solve his murder with the help of his grumpy brother. And it was all inspired by an episode of South Park lmao then I started really getting into it and now it’s just like, my super fun fic where I explore a range of emotions and all kinds of religious beliefs and different mythologies and I can build the world however I want and goddamn I just love writing this fic. Plus there’s a podfic for it! I can’t even begin to explain how much I love this fic and how proud I am of it :)

[unofficial-cactus]

FANFIC WRITER INTERVIEW

With tagged by @captainkappa

Name: Sunset

Fandoms: Currently Dream SMP. I’ve previously written for Thrilling Intent and Mindcrack, but have lurked in many other fandoms.

Two-shot: I’ve never actually formally published/finished a two shot before. I guess my closest would be Hear Me Out and the previously unpublished and still incomplete sequel Two Truths and a Lie - I’m giving anyone who follows me a gdoc link for that because why not.

Most popular multichapter: The fic-writing side of Mindcrack was a tiny fandom - about 500-700 of us in total in its prime, so it’s no surprise that joining a mega fandom (Dream SMP) has launched my first multichapter fic for that fandom straight to ‘most popular multichapter’ by a long shot. That’ll be Daddy Issues.

Actual worst part of writing: Starting to write is always the worst part for me. No matter where I am in a fic - beginnning or almost finished - it takes a while of hammering out and deleting sentences before I get into the flow of things and actually start writing usable content.

How you choose your titles: I don’t really know. I’ve done a few lyric-based ones, but I guess I go for something thematically relavant and just play around with words, phrases, and ideas until something sounds write.

Do you outline: Practically never, even though the writing process is easier when I do. I spent nearly three years sitting down every lunch break in high school plotting out The Survival Saga. I’m not kidding when I say that was my baby. I have the other two arcs planned out in varying levels of detail, but I had a notebook filled with handwriting details for each chapter of the first arc, plus plot beats for the rest of it, as well as plenty of digital notes for it. The only other thing I’ve had to put a degree of outlining into is my current fic I’m working on for the DSMP Big Bang.

Ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?: Finishing the Survival Saga. The next two arc were gonna be called The Wither Effect and The Ender Complex and I’m still so excited about the ideas. But realisitcally, the Mindcrack fandom is practically dead and I really don’t have the motivation to write 60k words that all of 3 people are gonna read, especially since it already took me about 5 years to write the first 30k words. Fandom drama too means it’d be weird to have to write some of the characters in there now, plus so much has changed that the mechanics of the plot, as well as the charactisations I was using are very outdated. I also feel there’s a notable enough change to my tone in writing that I wouldn’t know how to carry over the same voice into the rest of the fic.

Callouts @ me: Spite is not a healthy motivator for writing. Being so judgemental about other people’s writing makes you snide and arrogant which just aren’t nice personality traits. It’s okay for the first draft to suck - editing is a useful tool and you’re more productive when you write something meh then edit it to hell then sit there expecting the first draft to be perfect and thus not being able to write at all when the first few sentences fail to meet that expectation.

Best writing traits: Not a particular part of my writing itself, but rather my reading process. I’m very analytical when I read things, constantly noting what works, and what doesn’t in other people’s fics, so reading fic for me is a constant learning and bettering process for my own writing. On one hand it means I have very particular standards about what fics I can read through to the end, on the other I at least hope that it means I don’t make a lot of the same mistakes often found in fanfic that people find makes for poor writing. I do also have a history of being known for my smut, but I still don’t know how much of that is influenced by lack of many better options in that fandom.

Spicy tangential opinion: I have some quite spicy opinions about boundaries in RPF, but I’m not gonna throw myself to wolves on this by saying anything more than: fanfiction is for the fans. the RP of RPF do not belong in fandom spaces, nor should they be welcomed into them. So long as we also do our fair share of keeping creators out of fandom spaces, then what we do in fandom spaces is none of their business.

Don’t like, don’t read. Dead dove, do not eat.

Fiction is not necessarily a reflection of a writer’s personal opinions. Someone can enjoy something in fiction while being horrified by it in real life scenarios.

No pressure tags: @theropodtheroblogs @solena2 @genofeve I have no idea who tf to tag for this lmao.

[pichitinha]

Fic Writer Questions!

I was tagged by @peter-covinskys, thank you!! 🥰

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

eighty-five !!!!!!!!!!! if only i remembered how to write so i could reach one hundred rip

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

exactly 337,220. not much but it's honest work

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

in total 6-ish

harry potter, percy jackson, doctor who (kinda), young justice/dcu, rpdr, to all the boys

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

747: It's what friends do - Young Justice (Birdflash)

626: Possibly, Maybe - RPDR (Trixya)

434: Searching, Waiting, Looking - RPDR (Trixya)

428: It only takes a taste - RPDR (Trixya)

338: When no one else was looking - To All The Boys (Covinsky)

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

always!!! responding to comments is one of my favorite parts of the fic process!!!

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i am a fluffy/happy ending person through and through so i was inclined to say "none" when i remembered i have this one sad (alternate)ten/rose fic that i just reread and while my english was atrocious back then and i truly intend on going back and fixing it, it's pretty poetic and angsty i think

So far we are... so close - Doctor Who

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

literally all of them except for the one above and "gone tonight" which is sort of open ended lmao. but i'm gonna go with SWL bc it's a multichapter and i wrote a whole epilogue of fluffy so

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

i don't and i don't think i ever will but i do think about my favorite characters interacting a LOT. my most constant scenario is a hospital au with all of my main ships, i have everyone's specialties in my mind and i revisit scenes often, it's wonderful

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

full on hate, never, but there were two instances that were kind of funny:

- i was partaking in a fic forum contest with the theme "meta" so i wrote a meta fic (fics that mention the existence of that universe fanfic within it) and i tagged it and all and someone left me a lengthy comment about how much they hate meta fics and i was like??? ok???

- i have this cute little piece called glasses where percy "steals" jason's glasses and goes to the canoe lake and annabeth tries to retrieve them and they get all cute and kiss once (1) and someone left me a comment asking how dare i post such explicit content in a fic rated K? ASDFHDJSHSH

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

sometimes! it's difficult for me and not something that i find fits most of my stories, but sometimes it does and it flows well. i've written some, but it's in the lowest percentage of my writing

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

oh boy, have i. a few times. last two times were separate occasions, months apart, but by the same fucking person. wattpad is fucking hell. they changed the names and just posted it to another fandom.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

once but it fits better into the previous question: one time i was searching the percabeth tag (that was like years and years and years ago) and there was this little drabble in portuguese (my mother tongue) and i started reading it and it was SO familiar and i was like wait a minute this is mine??? so like i wrote it in portuguese, then translated it into english myself, and someone without asking for permission or crediting me translated it back into portuguese and posted it as if it was theirs. it was a ride

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no and i think im too controlling to ever do that

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

that would be mister perseus jackson and miss annabeth chase aka literally the best otp that has ever existed they love each other so much and they will live a full life of happiness and that's all i have to say

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

omg so many... im still in the hopeful stages for all the ones for my current fandom (tatb) so let's skip that and go to previous fandoms:

the trixya jealously one. i have like 8k of it and i liked it so much. it's so far from done. i wish i could finish it.

the hinny spy au. i loved when i had that idea. god that was such a long time ago rip

and the fake death yj au. god i wish.

16) What are your writing strengths?

right now i feel like it's nothing tbh, and i'm doing this to be dramatic or fishing for compliment, it's just been such a long period of writer's block that everything in writing seems weak to me right now. i am however much better at scenes with only two characters, the more people you throw in there the more likely i am to screw it up

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

as mentioned, any scenes with lots of people, but also may i say: ENDINGS. ending a fic is literally the hardest thing on the planet i don't understand how people do it smh

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i like it if it fits the characters/story but i absolutely hate not knowing what they're saying or having to wait for the author's note, so i'm a fan of putting the translation immediately after if you're gonna do that

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

harry potter.......... we've been there folks

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

how can a person even choose this....... i'm proud of so many of mine. if i had to pick one right now i'd say "Just fall into place (you'll fall into me)" bc i wrote the type of fic that i love finding in my other fandoms and it felt like such an accomplishment. but im proud of many of them

i'm tagging @promiseofthepremise @scarletenvy @xgoldendays @byima and whoever else writes fic i totally lost sight of that in here sorry folks!!!

[emma-nation]

Unfinished Business - F!Sam x MC Fanfiction

Summary: When Sam Dalton is caught in a scandal, Anna Schuyler is the only one who can help her. But will her former nanny be able to leave the past behind?

"Samantha Dalton was like one of good dreams you don't want to wake up from. You close your eyes, you force your brain to remember every minor detail, you begin to imagine what comes next... hoping to be in control. You want to fall asleep again. You want it to continue, but it's too late now. You're wide awake."

Genre: Angst, Romance

Notes: Hell yeah, three ongoing multichapter fics. I'm so screwed 😎

Tag List: If you wish to be tagged in future chapters and fics of this pairing, let me know.

"I can't do this anymore, Sam," Anna did the best to avoid her eyes. With the right look, they could melt the ice that had formed around her heart for the last few weeks. One look could make things warm again, but only for some time. Time enough for her to open up and fall in love once more, immediately followed by the realization all of that was nothing more than an illusion. She'd be fooling herself again.

This time she just had enough. It was the end.

"Anna, I'm sorry," the CEO didn't know very well what to say. Despite her usual calm voice tone, Anna could sense the nervousness in her words. "But Sofia is my wife."

"And I'm only the nanny."

"This is not what I meant. We just... we allowed ourselves to get too carried away. It was good while it lasted but now, we must face reality."

It was just a dream. Samantha Dalton was like one of good dreams you don't want to wake up from. You close your eyes, you force your brain to remember every minor detail, you begin to imagine what comes next... hoping to be in control. You want to fall asleep again. You want it to continue, but it's too late now. You're wide awake.

----------

Anna collected her stuff from the desk, giving one last emotional glance to the classroom in front of her. Before leaving for Summer, her fourth grade students had prepared her a small surprise. A little party with cake, snacks and a "Thank You, Ms. Schuyler" sign hanging in the back of the room. They also drew her some cards, which she saved for when she got home. It could become very emotional for her workplace.

"Anna," the principal appeared at the door, catching her attention, "I came here to congratulate you. It was your first year as a Science teacher in our school and you captivated all the kids, as well as their parents."

"You're welcome, Mrs. Rockwell," Anna smiled. "I love working with children and now I see I made the right decision taking this job. This year was the most rewarding experience of my life."

"So we can expect you to return next year? I'm sorry, the parents keep me asking this question all the time."

"Absolutely!"

"They'll be glad to hear that. Have a nice Summer, Ms. Schuyler."

After living in New York for the last two years, Anna was finally ready to drive to her mother's home in Rhode Island. They both had saved enough money for a road trip across the country. Her mom deserved to live that dream after caring for her ill step-dad for some long months, until his recovery.

When she arrived at her apartment, her best friend, Jenny, was still at work. What meant she'd have enough time to finish packing without having to stop to hear the latest gossip about the company she worked for, or unsolicited dating advice.

"But first," Anna pulled the small pile of cards from inside her purse, "let me cry my eyeballs out."

And she did. She learned how to love and connect to each one of her students. Those cards need to be kept in a special place, where she'd always be able to read them and remember the sweet moments she shared with those children.

Grabbing a box in her closet, Anna accidentally came across a picture of the Dalton twins. She didn't even remember where she had placed it, when she was getting rid of everything related to that family. All she wanted was to keep those boys' memory out of sight. She missed them too much for words. They were the reason why she accepted that job as a teacher in first place.

"I wonder how different they must look now," she thought. "They're already nine."

With a tightness in her chest, Anna placed the picture back in its secret spot.

"I still can't believe you're really going!" Later that evening, Jenny complained in the living room, where she divided her attention between painting her nails and watch TV.

"Well, it's time for you to come with terms with that. I'm only returning by the end of Summer," Anna responded from the kitchen, while she finished washing the dishes.

"Anna, we could have the Summer of our lives. Think about all the hot men and women you could meet, all the parties we could attend..."

"I promised my mom, okay? We've been planning this trip since I finished college."

Jenny was suddenly teleported back to her side, wrapping her arms around her like a clingy teddy bear.

"But I'm gonna miss you," she spoke with a mournful voice.

"I'll miss you too," Anna assured her. "I'll keep you updated on every detail. Don't worry."

"I know your mom is going with you but... Anna, it's time for you to find someone. Even if it's only a one night stand."

"This is not the main purpose of this trip. This isn't about my sex life, I want my mom to relax."

"It has been two years, for god's sake."

"I know. And I'm glad I've set my priorities straight, I live with my best friend in a nice apartment, I got this amazing job and I love my students. I don't need anyone else in my life to be happy. I am happy."

Jenny rolled her eyes, crawling back to the couch. She should know it was useless to bring up this subject. Anna's heart was indefinitely closed for balance. If that was one thing she learned from her last experience was that shouldn't open up so easily.

"Shut the hell up!"

Jenny yelling so loud in the living room, made Anna almost drop the plate she was holding.

"You need to come here right now and watch this," she added.

"I'm sorry, Jenny. You're not getting me into that steamy TV show you're always obsessing about."

"It's a really good TV show, okay? But it doesn't matter at the moment. You need to watch the latest news!"

Jenny was actually watching the news. Nothing good could've happened to spark that sudden interest. That had to be something stupid or celebrity gossip. Against her best judgment, Anna approached the TV.

"If that's something silly, I'll kill you for interrupting my tasks!" Anna's mouth suddenly dropped when she read the headline on her screen. "Oh."

"Dalton Enterprises Scandal: CEO Sam Dalton accused of insider trading."

Images of police officers closing the company and carrying out boxes and computers for further investigation appeared on the screen. As well as Sam being conducted to the officer's car while journalists and photographers chased after her.

"Karma's a bitch, huh?! Mrs. Perfect is going down!"

Anna didn't answer to her best friend. She was still trying to process what her eyes were watching. Her heart seemed to stop for a second as the camera focused on Sam's face. In just a few seconds, her eyes had the desperate need to capture every detail. She wanted to know if she looked any different, if she had changed her hair or even her clothes. She wanted to know if some make-up was trying to hide the bags under her eyes for lack of sleep, or if she had been so happy with her marriage she was appearing even younger. Any minor signs that would make her mind create a possible scenario of what Sam's life could be right now.

She hadn't seen or heard of Samantha since quitting her nanny job. Though it was difficult, she managed to avoid any news related to the Dalton Enterprises CEO. They didn't part in good terms, yet one thing she was sure about, Sam was a decent person. She would never get involved in such a scandal. She had a reputation to keep.

"I... I don't know what to say," Anna was finally able to mumble some words. "Honestly I don't think she'd do that. There must be a misunderstanding."

"Anna! Are you seriously defending her?! After everything she's done to you?"

"No. I just..." Two years had passed since the wedding. Anna realized a lot could've changed. Sam could've changed. She had changed. "Maybe you're right."

As she lied in bed, millions of thoughts started running through her mind. What would be of the boys? Who would have their custody in case Sam went to jail, her parents or Sofia? Could Sofia or Robin have any involvement in that scandal?

Anna didn't get any sleep that night. When she woke up in the morning she was still exhausted.

The apartment was silent and peaceful. Jenny had already left to work. She was alone. No one would witness or even judge her next action. After preparing herself some coffee she sat down and started to research more about the insider trading scandal.

"I'm not interested, only curious," she mentally assured herself as thousands of articles started showing on her laptop screen.

Not only Sam was being accused to cheat on Sofia with another woman, but she tried to cover up the affair by giving her mistress a check to purchase Dalton Enterprises stocks. The launch of a new and revolutionary product in the coming weeks would surely grant her some cash. In the following days of the launch, the woman and her husband made millions of dollars.

"What have you gotten yourself into, Sam?"

The trials were scheduled for the next few weeks, and in case of conviction, the CEO could spend over 20 years in prison.

Only a couple of days later, Anna was in the garage placing all her luggage inside the trunk. She had to leave immediately, for her own sanity. The scandal was a great reason to stay away from New York City. The television wouldn't stop talking about that subject, or show the face of the woman she once loved.

"Dammit," entering the car, Anna noticed she had forgotten her cell phone upstairs. The latest events had impacted her more than they should. She was constantly distracted and anxious, secretly following the last developments of the case.

She picked up her phone, returned to the car and turned on the radio. Playing some loud music always helped her to relax. The crowded streets and the buildings slowly started to stay behind as the road approached.

"And I'm here, to remind you of the mess you left..."

Anna sang aloud, completely involved by the song. And then, her eyes almost missed it. Through the rearview mirror she saw a blur moving on the back seat.

"What the..." she needed to remain calm and act cautiously. The roads were impressively calm and deserted, a perfect scenario for murder, like in every horror movie. She slowly slipped her hand into her purse, grabbing the pepper spray. "I'm not one of those chicks who die so easily."

In one sudden fast move, she stomped on the breaks and turned around, spraying whoever was hiding behind her seat.

"Anna!" She was able to take a better look. The figure was wearing a hoodie and sunglasses. "Stop, please!"

She was able to recognize that voice even among millions of people. The years hadn't erased it from her memories.

"S-Sam..." Anna pulled the disguise, confirming her suspicions, "what are doing here? In my back seat?"

"I can explain."

"You better."

She returned to the driver's seat, attempting to relax. Samantha Dalton was inside her car, for some very screwed up reason.

"I know it's strange," and now she had moved to the passenger seat, being at a short distance from her. Close enough to notice how her presence was making her nervous. Close enough to notice she wasn't breathing. Close enough to see her hands shaking. "But I needed you to hear me."

"You could've called, Samantha. Or even showed up at my door! You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"You wouldn't answer. Would you?"

And that was it. One look and all the walls melted away. Her heart started beating faster, reminding her of the moments they shared two years before.

"No," Anna answered, fighting those feelings. "I wouldn't."

"I need your help, Anna," Sam touched her arm briefly, but enough to know she'd cause impact. "I'm in serious trouble and you're the only one that can help me."

[rainbowserenity]

1. “Do you want me to leave?” - Hopurai

royal!AU tag

my intention with this AU was for it to be a bunch of oneshots that could be read separately….but this is the installment that makes me wish I’d had the foresight to just make it into a multichapter fic 8D;if you don’t want to go in blindly, I would HIGHLY recommend (re?)reading at least the previous installment before the this one. all the fics are in the above linked tag, or they’re in a collection on AO3 here

sorry for being so ridiculous lmao

*****

Therewas such a strange disconnect from staring outside the windows of thepalace as opposed to when she’d had to stare out of a hole in theceiling back when she’d been living in the slums. Back then, she’d belooking up into the smog-covered sky, trying against all odds to seethe stars that the fal'cie would bring at night.

Now,sitting in her office, she could literally look down on so much ofEden since the palace towered over pretty much everything except thefal'cie Phoenix itself. It was weird, to say the least.

Well,she supposed it was no stranger than Lightning Farron, former soldierand resident of the slums, being discovered as Eden’s long-lostprincess.

Lightningfrowned slightly as she watched people go about their daily business.From up here, they looked like ants. It was hard to believe that somecould be struggling or confused or going through heartbreak…

Notthat she’d know anything about heartbreak. At all. Nope.

“Hey,you finished yet?”

Witha sigh, Lightning pulled her gaze away from the window and stared atSazh, who was officially her adviser, but really played the role of ababysitter. It was insulting if she thought about it too much. “Doesit look like I’ve finished?”

“True.”Sazh waltzed up to her desk and pointedly stared at the pile ofpapers. “'Cause if you had finishedthis incredibly easy task, I bet you would’ve found me already andclaimed that poor ol’ Sazh was overworked and needed a vacation - ”

“Itried to give you a vacation after the ball,” Lightning pointedout, raising an eyebrow. “You told me I’d probably set the palaceon fire if you left for a day.”

“AndI’m probably right!”

“Doubtful.”Lightning rolled her eyes and tapped her pen against the papers infront of her a few times. “I’m fairly sure that I, a grown adultwho’s been taking care of herself since she was a teenager, couldeasily manage without you for a few days.”

“Keeptellin’ yourself that.” Sazh picked up one of the papers. “Whichone are you working on?”

“Theletter to Vanille.” DiaVanille had been an important guest at Lightning’s introduction balla few days ago. It was a gathering that had officially presented heras Eden’s princess, which, in turn, would hopefully open up newrelations. Now she was supposed to be writing letters of intent toget people on her side with whatever she planned to do as regent.

Despitefinding the whole practice completely ridiculous, Lightning actuallyhad gotten along fairly well with the Duchess of Luxerion, Vanille.She had to wonder if this was partially because her bodyguard wasfriends with the Duchess and that made it easier to like her.

Or…formerbodyguard, she supposed.

“Keepit short and sweet,” Sazh advised. “Vanille’s not much for longletters.”

“Andyou think I am?”

“Justlet me dream a little, geez. Kids these days.”

Lightningrolled her eyes again, her mind wandering to the ball. Chatting withVanille and her girlfriend Fang, the Princess of Oerba…dancing in adress that glittered with an obnoxious amount of diamonds…steppingonto the balcony with -

Ugh,okay, definitely not goingthere.

Aftera pause where she wrote a few words, Lightning glanced up. Sazh wasscribbling something in a book – probably grading her on heretiquette, hmph. “Was there something else you needed?”

“Yes,as a matter of fact.” Sazh stopped writing and plopped into a chairwithout any grace. If she’d done the same, he would’ve recoiled inhorror. “We didn’t really get a chance to talk after the ball.Gotta say, I’m impressed with how you handled things.”

“Itwas a glorified dance. Not too difficult.”

Thatwas a lie and they both knew it. Lightning had grown up in a suburbof Eden and then spent her teenage years in the slums – she’d neverbeen to any sort of dance, never mind a ball of the caliber that’dbeen held in her honor. Beingparaded around like a doll had been one of the most difficult thingsshe’d ever done. Luckily, she’d met Vanille and Fang very early onduring the night and their new-foundfriendship had made goingthrough the motions much easier.

Therewas someone else who’d helped out, but she preferred not to think toohard about that.

“Yeah,yeah.” Sazh waved a hand. “Keep tellin’ yourself that. And tellme your thoughts –anybody there you think we could strengthen an alliance with? Or formone? Technically, Eden’s always been on good terms with the otherkingdoms since Phoenix is the most important fal'cie, but there’salways room for improvement. See any of that? Or…” He raised aneyebrow. “Any potential suitors?”

Lightningducked her head, hoping against everything that the heat she feltsimmering under her skin was from a…hot flash or something. Yeah,that totally made sense. She wasn’t about to blush atthe thought of a certain personal bodyguard taking her to see astar-filled sky and light-studded city. There was definitely nothought of his hands on her, his lips caressing hers…

“Nosuitors,” she finally said, clearing her throat and daring to lookup. At least her face felt normal. “Serah seemed to like the Patronof Yusnaan, though.” She frowned.

“What,you got a problem with him?” Sazh looked faintly amused. “I knowhe’s just a kid, but then again, so are you.”

“Hejust seemed…” Lightning shook her head. There were only a fewwords she could think of to describe Snow Villiers, and none of themwere all that flattering. “But we’ve been on particularly goodterms with Yusnaan, so it doesn’t really matter. Fang seemed to likeme, so maybe we can strengthen ties with Oerba.”

“Thatgirl’s an odd one.” Sazh leaned back in his chair, looking lost inthought. “I’m pretty sure all she really gives a damn about isVanille. For awhile, it was lookin’ like Oerba and Luxerion wouldofficially join forces, possibly to try and topple Eden and take overPhoenix.”

Lightningraised her eyebrows. “Could they do that?”

“Probably.Ain’t like the fal'cie care that much.”

Shehad no idea if that was true. Lightning had yet to see Phoenix inperson since being found as the princess of Eden. “Do you thinkFang was trying to get on my good side, then? And then betray me whenleast expected?”

“Nahhh.If Vanille liked you, then Fang’s sure as hell not gonna mess withyou or anybody in Eden. And trust me, Vanille is as genuine as theycome. Kinda hard to believe she’s royalty sometimes.” Sazh sighedin exasperation. “I’ve worked with so many of you kids over theyears that I wonder if you all share the same stick up your ass.”

Insteadof biting back with a retort, Sazh’s comment made Lightning asksomething she’d been wondering for awhile. “That’s right – bothFang and Vanille said that they knew you. You were an adviser forsome members of the old family, too.”

“Gladto see you pay attention when I talk.”

“Thatdoesn’t make much sense, though,” Lightning continued, ignoringSazh’s comment. “You’re not even twice my age. You said you’ve beenserving the old family for years, but if you served Fang and Vanilletoo…”

“Inever told you?” Now Sazh looked confused, but also a littleconcerned. It was very strange to see him with an expression towardsher that wasn’t exasperation. “Huh, guess I wouldn’t have at thebeginning. And things have been so crazy with the ball andeverything…”

“Toldme what?”

Sazhundid the top two buttons of his shirt and tugged it down a bit. Itwas still hidden under some fabric, but there were a bunch oftelltale lines and intersecting arrows that made Lightning sit ramrodstraight in her chair, eyes widening a bit. She knew what it meantbefore Sazh even said the words.

“I’ma l'cie.”

Thestories had spread among the slums – scary children’s tales thatwould send Serah crying into her arms in fear. L'cie were warriorschosen by fal'cie and sent to fight their battles, using magic farmore powerful and horrifying than the average person was capable of.They would live forever until the fal'cie grew tired of them andended their misery with agony, only to gather new warriors and repeatthe cycle anew.

Sincethere hadn’t been a real war in centuries, l'cie were just terriblestories. Even though Lightning knew they were likely just that –stories – nobody she knew had ever met or been one, so itwas hard to say what was the truth or not.

Itwas true, however – recorded in history books and all –that l'cie were branded when they were made. The lines intersectingon Sazh’s skin perfectly matched what Lightning knew.

“You’re– how - ”

“Ohc'mon, you know damn well I’m not some war machine. I hear thosestories. Most of ‘em are totally untrue. Probably made up by somefanatic or anti-war group back in the day.” Sazh shrugged andbuttoned his shirt, hiding the brand from sight.

“Thenwhat is true?”

“One,we don’t live forever. But it does stretch things out a bit.” Hechuckled. “You pretty much stop physically aging once you’rebranded. Good thing, or I’d have half a century’s worth of gray hairfrom all you kids stressin’ me out.”

Lightningdid not laugh. She still felt something akin to horror, though Sazh’snonchalant attitude and her own logic were calming her down a bit.“But why were you branded? I’ve always heard that l'cie werejust tools for war.”

“LikeI said, stories.” Sazh waved a hand. “Yeah, sure, some were madefor war, but most l'cie are branded to carry out a certain purpose,whether for war or whatever else.”

“Andlet me guess,” Lightning said, her head starting to clear, “yourpurpose is to annoy me?”

“Close.”He chuckled again. “Nah, the old queen’s mother put in a good wordfor me with Phoenix. I kinda fell into the adviser role and the royalfamily was damn impressed. They asked if I wanted to do it forlonger, and well…” He shrugged. “Here I am. ‘Course, I’d go outto ally kingdoms or whatnot. In Duchess Vanille’s case, her parentsdied when she was barely a kid, so I kept an eye on her. I only knowPrincess Fang through her, though.”

“Isee.” And she did, actually. The initial shock had finally wornoff. Honestly, she couldn’t see why someone would want to live foryears and years doing the sort of thing Sazh did, but now she knewhow he was so good at his job…literal years of practice. “And I’mguessing this is common knowledge among the other royals?”

“Well,yeah. I’m everywhere, you know.” He tapped the side of his head.“Can’t do much to hide that.”

“Isuppose not.” Of course she was the last to know…but then again,she always seemed to be the last to know things lately, sowhat did one more thing matter?

“Onthat note, I’ve got some other things I need to do.” The tone inSazh’s voice had gone so serious that it made Lightning glance upfrom her letter and frown in confusion.

“Whatthings?”

“Geez,so nosy.” He shook his head. “Don’t you worry about it. Finishyour letters and I’ll have one of the assistants come in andproofread them.”

Sherolled her eyes. “Sure.”

Hewas already halfway out the door, but still called out as thought heactually had eyes in the back of his head. “I saw that!”

Lightningshook her head and stared back down at her letter to Vanille, tappingher pen against the paper a few times. Even though it’d been quitesome time since she’d been found as Eden’s princess, the formalityand unspoken rules still baffled her. Ever since meeting a bunch ofthem at her introduction ball, however, she’d seen that many of themfound some of the rules and etiquette archaic as well.

Sowhy did they have to do it?

Shesighed heavily and slumped in her chair – a posture that Sazh wouldfrown upon, but for once, she was blessedly alone. Not even a maidwas to be seen, although she could hear people puttering in thehallways outside her office. It was so rare these days she couldactually be by herself. Usually she at least had her personalbodyguard with her…

“No,”she muttered, chiding herself. She would not think about him.She would not wonder where he’d gone after running from her atthe ball, and she would certainly not replay the images oftheir kiss in her mind.

Nope.Not her.

Lightningheaved another sigh and shoved the papers aside, going back tostaring out the window. Concentration was clearly useless, at leastfor now. She may as well take advantage of Sazh not being around todemand her to do stuff.

–

Itwas only a few days later when she got the news.

Shewas in the sitting area of her suite, talking to Serah on the phone –an encrypted, ridiculously secure line, of course. Actually beingable to see her sister would’ve been better, but Serah wascompletely swamped with work at the university and couldn’t get away.

Therewas always, however, time for a phone call.

“Ijust don’t get what you see in him,” Lightning muttered, scribblingin the margins of her scrap paper. She was still working on thoseletters and had been trying to think of good things to say SnowVilliers, Patron of Yusnaan. It was exceedingly difficult.

Forher, anyway.

“He’sso sweet!” Serah basically swooned over the phone. “And don’t youthink he’s handsome? I wonder if he’ll wear the same outfit at myintroduction ball.”

Lightningfrowned. “He’s a big lug that kept stepping on my feet.”

“Notto mention that you can tell he really cares about his people.”Serah kept going on like her sister had said nothing. “Maybe it’sbecause he was elected? I mean, I know you care about everyone in thekingdom, but some of the other royals who have lived it since theywere born….it’s different for them. Don’t you think so?”

Unconsciously,Lightning’s grip on her phone tightened. He’d said that to her morethan once.

Youknow what it’s like on the other side. You’ll be able to bring realchange.

Herstomach fluttered and she willed the door to knock – something,anything to let her know that her personal bodyguard wascoming back.

Knock-knock.

Shestared at the door. Could it be…?

“YourHighness?”

Hershoulders drooped so quickly that she nearly dropped the phone. Sherecognized the quiet voice of Yeul, one of her maids. With a heavysigh, she called out, “Just a moment!”

“Sis?Do you want me to leave?”

“Sorry,Serah.” Lightning heaved another sigh. “I have to go. I’ll callyou back tonight, okay?”

“Okay!I should probably get back to all this homework.” Her tone grewteasing. “You think they’d let a princess catch a break.”

“Ifyou’d wanted to catch any breaks, you wouldn’t have applied to themost prestigious university in the world,” Lightning teased back.“I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay.Love you!”

“Youtoo.”

Anotherquiet knock sounded at the door. This time, Lightning stood, herposture automatically straight as she smoothed down her clothes. Asthere hadn’t been anything urgent on her schedule for the day, she’dopted for comfortable slacks and a thin cashmere sweater – clothingshe’d take over diamond-studded ball gowns any day.

“Comein.”

Yeulentered the room, dropping into a curtsy. All of the servantscontinued to be ridiculously formal around her, despite herinsistence otherwise. It was sort of why she appreciated Sazh naggingher all the time, though hell would freeze over before she’d admitit.

Andspeak of the devil…

“Mr.Katzroy requests that you join him in the conference room, YourHighness.”

Lightningfrowned, the request immediately striking her as odd. Usually Sazhsought her out himself when he needed something, or at least wouldbring her to whatever room he needed. Especially since this palacewas ridiculously huge and she still didn’t always know her wayaround.

“Conferenceroom?”

“Yes.”Yeul bowed her head. “Allow me to escort you.”

“Sure.”Lightning was all too happy to leave her papers and thoughts ofwriting to Snow behind…although surely whatever Sazh had plannedfor her would be just as annoying.

Itturned out she wasn’t too far off.

Yeulmurmured something into a speaker that was attached to the earpieceshe was wearing, presumably telling her coworkers where she was. Therest of the walk was fairly quiet, which was fine with her. Lightningwas more than okay with staring at the paintings and pricelessartifacts that adorned the walls. A lot of them were portraits of herextremely distant ancestors. Apparently she and Serah would have tosit for portraits at some point and then they’d be on the wallsforever. It was a very weird thought.

Whenthe finally reached the conference room, Yeul curtsied again beforeopening one of the wide doors. “Her Highness, Princess Lightning,has arrived,” she called, her soft voice echoing into the emptyroom.

“Thanks,”Lightning said, nodding at Yeul before she stepped inside. There wasa weird flash of gold that struck Yeul’s eyes, but it was probablyjust glare from all the artifacts around them. Weird.

Theconference room was huge, with tons of folded seats and what lookedlike a stage and podium. It reminded her a bit of a theater withoutthe screen. “Sazh?”

“Overhere.” He was off to the side, where there was a table and somechairs covered with papers. She hurried over to him. “Always makin’an old man wait, huh?”

“Yeah,yeah.” It felt weird to comment on that since now she had a roughidea of just how old Sazh really was. “How come you calledme here?”

“Nobodyever uses this room and I wanted to inform you of something inprivate.”

Instantly,Lightning’s heart began to pound. For whatever reason, her firstthought was of the night of the ball. Had someone seen them out onthe balcony? Was there some protocol about a princess and herbodyguard sharing a kiss?

“It’sabout your coronation.”

Shelet out a huge breath she hadn’t even known she’d been holding,slumping in her seat a bit. She ignored the evil eye Sazh gave her.“What about it?”

“Asyou know, the old family kept their power tightly reigned.” Themore he spoke, the more serious Sazh became. It was weirdlyoff-putting. “All of the descendants have been, more or less,direct from the first king. Kinda a cut and dry family tree, evenwith all the marriages and what have you.”

“Right.”Lightning vaguely recalled this when she’d been forced to study theold family. The crown almost always went to the firstborn son ordaughter, which wasn’t so unusual for royalty, she supposed, but thefamily tree was streamlined to the point where many of thefirstborn’s siblings rarely got married or had children of their own.It was why she and Serah being a part of all of this was basicallyunprecedented.

Veryweird.

“LikeI told you, I’ve had some dealings with the old family. And I’m notthat old to remember the first king, but there’s a reason theykept the family as it was.”

“Sazh,please.” Lightning was rapidly running out of patience. She wasn’treally sure why, but something in her just wanted to hear thenews already. “Get to the point.”

“Soimpatient,” he muttered. “Okay, fine – long story short – thecoronation and ruling status are only valid with approval fromPhoenix.”

Itfelt like a block of ice had suddenly dropped in her stomach,although it took her a moment to rationalize why. “Approval?”“Yes.”The serious tone in Sazh’s voice grew. “You meet with the fal'ciein a special one-on-one ceremony. Phoenix will brand you as the nextruler of Eden. Not like a l'cie,” he added hastily, whenLightning’s gaze focused on the spot where his brand was hidden.“There’s no permanent mark, although it lasts 'til you’reofficially crowned. Then you’re free to rule as you please.”

Theice turned to lead in her gut. “Okay, so I meet with Phoenix andit…approves of me.” She frowned. “Why tell me this in secrecy?This is probably common knowledge among the royals, right?”

“Yeah.Some of the others brand their rulers like this too, but Phoenix isthe most important because, well…obvious reasons and all.”

“Isee.” The perfect placeholder reply, because this whole thing madeher feel…uneasy. Phoenix was arguably the most importantfal'cie in the world. Without the sun and life it provided, therewould be no world. The fal'cie from other kingdoms couldeasily be replaced with hard work and effort from humanity.

Butthe sun? There was no replacement for that.

Theenormity of her role in the world suddenly hit her like a train. Itdidn’t matter if her sister or the other royals or certain personalbodyguards believed in her. She’d never been very good at followingrules and had always thought of herself as very independent. The factthat she was to be in charge of everything under somethingelse’s power made her want to take a sword to Phoenix just to rid theworld of it, so humanity could try to thrive on its own.

Notthat she would – or could – ever admit this out loud.

“There’sone other thing,” Sazh added when she said nothing more.

Lightningrolled her eyes a little, mostly out of habit. “What?”

Hedidn’t comment on her rudeness. “I know for a fact thatyou’re part of the royal bloodline. Ol’ Sazh did his research. Youdon’t even want to know what dusty old books and old familyrecords I had to look up to find you and your sister.”

“You’vementioned this.” She raised an eyebrow. “Many times, in fact.”

“'Causeit’s true.” There was a pause before his voice went grave.“However, if Phoenix doesn’t approve of you for whatever reason ordecides you’re not worthy of the power to rule…”

Lightningwaited a moment for him to finish, but she knew what he meant when hetrailed off. This, maybe, was the source of her instant uneasinesswhen he’d started talking. It was everything she hadn’t known she wasdreading since coming into the conference room.

“…Phoenixwill kill me.” She met his eyes. “Won’t it?”

“There’snot much of a chance it’ll disapprove of you,” Sazh repliedquickly. She wondered who he was trying to convince. “Like I said,I did my research and you’re a part of the bloodline. I’ve heardthat’s all it really cares about. It’s not like the fal'cie reallygive a damn about human affairs, y'know?”

“Right.”She ignored the unsaid words – there was still that chance Phoenixwould cast her aside and everything would be for nothing.

Betterme than Serah.

Thatwas what it always came down to, the first thought her instinct wentto. Serah was the one who deserved a comfortable life withresponsibilities chosen by her and not some rule or bloodline. It wasbecause of her sister that Lightning had worked her ass off when theywere still in the slums, doing everything she could to give Serahever opportunity possible.

Shenever thought there was the possibility it could lead to her death.

Butwhat about her role now? Though she hadn’t asked for any of this, shewas slowly finding herself eager to make changes around the kingdomof Eden and make things better for people who weren’t long-lostmembers of the royal family.

“You’veseen both sides. I think that’ll eventually come to be your biggeststrength.”

Eventhough she kept trying not to think about a certain personalbodyguard, his words from the ball popped into her head. She’d alwaystaken his reassurance to heart, but now it had a thousand times moremeaning.

Thoughshe would never deny that Serah had also suffered in the past,Lightning had always watched out for her and sacrificed somuch to ensure that her needs were met. Their experiences weredifferent because of that.

Nobodyhad ever looked out for Lightning until now.

Andbecause of that, she was the only one who could truly changethings.

Shewas quiet for another moment as though contemplating, but short ofrunning away, there was really only one answer. There had only everbeen one answer.

Lightningsucked in a breath and met Sazh’s eyes, trying to steel herself withdetermination.

“Whatdo I need to do before meeting with Phoenix?”

–

Aswith practically everything related to this princess business, thepre-ceremony rituals were completely over the top and ridiculous.Someday she’d realize that nobody around here ever did things simply.

Overthe next couple of days, she rehearsed the ancient words that wouldsummon Phoenix to an audience with her. A handful of older maids –ones that had been tasked with all of the ritual business with theold family – helped her with cleansing baths and created theceremonial outfit. They were all sworn to secrecy.

Shefigured that made sense. If she was killed by Phoenix, it’d beeasier in the long run to play it off as some kind of accident ratherthan the most important fal'cie in the world rejecting her.

Butshe tried not to think about that. Besides the maids – and Sazh, ofcourse – the only other person who knew about the upcoming ceremonywas Serah, and that was simply because there was no way shewas keeping this a secret from her sister.

Lightningdidn’t mention the risks, though. Some things were better kept quiet.

“Snowtalks to Pandaemonium sometimes,” Serah mused over the phone. Itwas the night before Lightning’s meeting with Phoenix and she decidedshe’d needed the distraction. “Maybe he could give you advice!”

“Idon’t want any advice from that big lug.” She rolled her eyes, notwanting to admit she was curious, but… “…Talks to it how?”

Serah’svoice was a little knowing, but she didn’t tease. “He told me it’snot so much words. It’s not like conversing with a person – thefal'cie send images and they get clearer the more you have a mutualunderstanding.” She hummed a little. “Maybe it’s easy for himbecause he was elected the Patron.”

“Ormaybe his head’s so empty that the images come easier because there’snothing in the way.”

“Sis.”Serah huffed in exasperation. “Be nice.”

“I’dbe nicer if you were less interested in him.”

“Buthe’s so sweet!”

“Hmph.”This was what she wanted to worry about – who was goodenough for her sister and ridiculous things like that…not if thefal'cie who basically sustained the world was going to kill her.

Shecouldn’t let herself think about it.

Luckily,Serah was eager to keep chatting – mostly about Snow, toLightning’s disgust – and her nerves settled somewhat. Her sisterwas the one person who could distract her from this whole princessthing.

Well,her and another person, but she didn’t want to think about him,either.

Thenight passed quickly and soon Lightning was too tired to even hold upthe phone. She fell asleep quickly without having time to dwell onthe ceremony the next day. Just as planned.

Ironically,the sun woke her gently the following morning, which was a nicechange from her alarm going off or someone knocking on her door. Infact, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d woken up so calmly.

Ifonly it was enough to make up for what was about to happen.

Thecalm was unfortunately short-lived, because about thirty secondsafter she’d stood up and stretched, someone knocked at her door.

“YourHighness?”

Lightningsighed heavily, immediately recognizing the voice of the oldest ofthese in-the-know maids. “Come in.”

Therewere three of them and they filed in slowly, their hands clasped infront as they walked. She realized this was an incredibly serious andformal situation, but the realness of it smacked her in the face atthe sight of the maids looking so grave. That lead block that’dformed in her gut when Sazh initially told her about all of hisreturned in full force.

“Thisway.” One of the maids gestured to her ensuite bathroom, whereanother maid was already running the water. Lightning could see heradding special oils and herbs to the tub, apparently part of thewhole cleansing ritual.

Shewas already long used to shedding her modesty in front of otherpeople since this whole princess thing had become a part of her life,but she’d never hated it more than she had at this second. Undressingand slipping into the tub in front of the others just made this wholething feel weird and awkward and way more serious than she wanted itto be. It didn’t help that she knew arguing was useless; the oldestmaid had a glare that could probably take down Sazh – a trait she’dlove to learn, to be honest. Maybe she’d ask for lessons later.

Providedshe survived Phoenix’s judgment, of course.

Withthat thrilling thought in mind, Lightning allowed herself to be driedafter the bath and wrapped in a robe. She had to admit that whateverhad been added to the bath made her skin feel like new. There’d neverbeen any time or money to bother with girly lotions and potionsbefore Sazh had found them, but maybe there was some merit in it.

Onceshe was sufficiently dry, she was led into her enormous walk-inwardrobe, where the ceremonial gown was waiting for her. It wasactually quite a beautiful dress – a flowing garment in shades ofgold, white, and blue. There was a cape with a long train attached tothe back, maybe just to add to the ridiculousness. Phoenix’s brandwas embroidered along the edges in gold.

Themaids helped her into the gown and simple gold shoes. One of themclasped a gold bracelet with multicolored stones around her wrist.

“What’sthis?” Lightning asked, lifting her arm to inspect the bracelet. Anumber of jewels were kept in her wardrobe and a lot were in storage,but she was fairly sure she’d never seen this one before. It wasweirdly flashy and simple at once.

“Agift from Phoenix, Your Highness,” the youngest of the maidsanswered (although 'young’ in this case was about eighty years old).“It’s said that that fal'cie itself put it on the wrist of thefirst king. Ever since then, it’s been a tradition to wear it to theMeeting.”

Lightningsuddenly lost all interest in the bracelet and dropped her arm. “Oh.”

Thefinal part of her outfit was a headpiece that fit snugly in her hair.Long lines of gold extended from the band in varying lengths, thelongest about a foot. It formed a semicircle around her head – madeto resemble rays of the sun, she realized as she looked in a mirror.

“Whenyou’re ready, we’ll escort you,” the oldest maid said after apause.

“…Right.”Lightning let out a breath. “Let’s get this over with.”

Ifany of them found her comment weird, they made no mention. Instead,they simply ushered her out of her suite. The hallway – whichusually had people milling about cleaning and whatnot – was emptyexcept for them. Two of the maids stood on either side and one was infront to lead the way.

Theywalked like that the whole time in silence, the only sound being thewhoosh of her cape flowing over the floor. Usually Lightning reveledin quiet, but this silence felt way too heavy. It carried foreboding.

Doom.

Still,all she did was recite her summoning words in her mind, hoping shewouldn’t forget them. She’d never been one to crack under pressure,but this was a whole different level.

Itseemed like they’d walked for miles before they finally stopped infront of an enormous door. Lightning realized she’d actually passedthis area a handful of times, but the door was nondescript and tuckedaway, so she’d never given thought to what could be behind it.

Themaid in front slowly pulled the door open. Sunlight poured in and shetried not to squint at the glare.

“Wecan go no further,” the maid said. “Please head forward for yourceremony.”

“Thanks.”

Theyall curtsied in unison as she stepped into the light, not risinguntil the door slowly creaked shut behind her. Forget the lead in hergut; her stomach was doing cartwheels by now.

“Thatyou?”

Lightningnever thought she’d be so damn grateful to hear Sazh’s voice. She letout a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding and hurried over –as much as she could in this outfit, anyway – and even though hestill looked grave and serious, it was still a relief to be aroundsomeone normal.

Well,normal to her, anyway.

“Ididn’t think you’d be here,” she said, trying to sound composed. “Ithought it might be against the rules or whatever.”

Despitethe serious expression on his face, Sazh smirked a little. “Whathave I been tellin’ you? There’s no getting rid of me. Besides, youhave any idea what you’re doing right now?”

Lightninglooked around the room for the first time. It was weirdly bright andwhite, though she could vaguely make out ornate designs on the wallsin gold. Ahead of her was more brightness and – was that fog?

Yeah,she was totally lost.

“Thoughtso,” was all Sazh replied at the look on her face. “All right,lemme lead you through it. Ask your questions or forever hold yourpeace.”

“Justtell me how to get to Phoenix,” she replied. “I want to get thisover with.”

“Fairenough.” He shook his head in exasperation and then gestured to theweirdly bright, foggy area in front of them. “Head forward untilyou see a crystal. It’ll be floating in midair, so try not to freak.”

“I’veseen freakier things.”

“Yeah,yeah.” He rolled his eyes, which was oddly comforting. “Once youget to the crystal, hold cup your hands around it.” Sazh held uphis own hands to demonstrate. “Then recite the summons you’veundoubtedly memorized. That should take you right to Phoenix.”

Lightningheld up her hands in the same way Sazh had. “Crystal, hands,recite. I think I’ve got it.”

“Youdo.” He stared at her a moment and then sighed, bowing his head abit before nodding. “You really do. You’ve got this.”

Ifthat was his way of saying he was sure she’d survive…the confidenceactually worked somewhat. Much to her annoyance, Sazh really did knowa lot and she trusted him. It was not guarantee, but at leastit was something.

“Right,”she murmured, squaring her shoulders. “I’ll be back.”

“We’llbe waiting.”

Asshe headed into the fog, Lightning could’ve sworn she heard somefootsteps echoing behind her, but she did not dare to look over hershoulder. Eyes front. If she lost her nerve now, she’d never be ableto do this again.

Timelost all meaning as she walked through the light and fog. There wasno comfort in it, but oddly enough, she had no fear, either. MaybeSazh’s confidence in her had actually worked. Maybe it was becauseshe had to survive for Serah.

Maybeit was because, according to a certain personal bodyguard, she couldbring about real change.

Shehad no idea how long she’d walked before the crystal appeared infront of her. It was shaped a bit like a diamond and reflectedrainbows into the whiteness around her. Just as she was supposed to,she hovered her hands around it and closed her eyes, bowing her headas she spoke.

“OMighty fal'cie Phoenix, I seek you so that I may govern in yourblessed name. Guide me to your knowing light so that I may humblygaze upon you.”

Shefelt stupid chanting the words, especially since she wasn’t quitesure how much she believed in them. Apparently belief didn’t matter,though, because the crystal suddenly blinded her – even though hereyes were still closed – and she had the sensation of movement. Itfelt like falling, but she was still upright. Lightning didn’t dareopen her eyes in case it broke some kind of spell. Sazh hadn’tmentioned any of this! She was definitely going to rant at himwhen she got back.

Ifshe got back.

Whenthings finally stilled, Lightning took a moment to breathe, her eyesstill closed. It was extremely unusual for her to just stand aroundand put herself in any sort of vulnerable position, but what wasn’tunusual about all of this?Surely a breather wasn’t out of line.

Therewas about ten second of silence before an unfamiliar rumbling noiseand a flash of head made her finally open her eyes. She could notcontain the gasp that ripped through her at what was before her.

“Phoenix.”

Thefal'cie was long and skinny on both ends, with smaller pieces of itsbody – was that a body? - extending from it. Whether theseparts were something otherworldly, nature, machine – she had noidea. In the middle it was round, filled with a light so bright thatshe couldn’t stare for long.

Itwas nothing like she had ever seen or imagined.

Ofcourse she had seen fal'cie before. Most everyone had. There weresmaller ones that worked in separate jurisdictions in Eden, doingvarious tasks like providing electricity or things for export. Notall of them in other kingdoms made themselves hidden, either. Theywere just a part of the landscape and a part of life thatnobody really took notice of them.

Nowshe understood why Phoenix was hidden away.

Itwas impossible not to take notice.

Lightningstepped forward unconsciously, not sure if she wanted to run towardsit or away. She felt dazed, which was not a sensation she wasa fan of, but what else could she do?

Therewas noise coming from the fal'cie, but she wasn’t sure if it wastrying to speak or if that was just how it sounded naturally. Surelysomething so massive and powerful couldn’t be completely silent.

Thesounds were like screams and whispers all at once, having thestrength to ruffle her gown and cape, but somehow not loud enough tohear. Something about it made her want to take a sword to the massivebeing in front of her, but who was she to deny the world of this?

Andthen it happened.

Phoenixcried out and a beam of light shot right towards her, too quickly toavoid. It scorched her chest, painful yet not. She could feel theswirls and intricacies of Phoenix’s brand, letting it become a partof her and she now was of it.

Blurry,hurried images flooded into her mind. Lightning vaguely recalledSerah mentioning Snow’s experience with his fal'cie, that the imagesbecame clearer with mutual understanding.

Butshe and Phoenix had no understanding. She still couldn’t tellwhether she hated it or wanted to give thanks. There was anunderlying buzz of Phoenix not knowing what to make of her, either –just that she was of the bloodline and she could ruleunscathed.

Theimages she saw were most of people she only vaguely recognized fromthe portraits in the palace – memories of her extremely distantancestors. Some were of the stars and moon, extensions of the fal'ciefrom even farther away than this. One image would come, only to beimmediately replaced by another, and she could make no real sense ofthem.

Untilthat moment.

“Hope?!”

Everythingwas still so fast, but now Lightning willed her mind to slow,anything so that she could sort out why Phoenix was showingher images of her personal bodyguard.

Shesaw Hope, handsome as ever, talking to a group of people in a glassbuilding that gleamed with perfection.

Anotherof him in a white and yellow outfit that seemed strangely familiar –but it wasn’t the garb he wore as her bodyguard.

Himtalking to a shorter woman who, again, seemed oddly familiar.

Hiseyes sliding to look at Phoenix.

Hishands working on something that could have been otherworldly, nature,or machine.

Hisgaze on her for a thousand different reasons, most worthy of asecret.

Hisshame as he ran off from her at ball.

Inthat instant, something clicked in Lightning’s mind, though her heartwas pounding and her breath was coming too fast to really sort itout. The images abruptly stopped and the brand on her chest cooled.

“Howdo you expect me to - ”

Shedidn’t get to finish her sentence before there was that sensation offalling again. Phoenix had dismissed her?! She’d survived itsjudgment, but for what?

Therewas no making sense of it. Time had no meaning.

Whenshe stopped falling, Lightning opened her eyes in a daze and emergedfrom the light, a bit surprised to see Sazh, but also -

“Hope,”she whispered, her heart pounding again. It was too much for her bodyand mind. Her knees shook and she pitched forward.

Butlike any good personal bodyguard, Hope raced to her, his eyes widewith panic as he caught her. She settled into his arms so easily –too easily.

“Light,”he said, her name hardly a gasp. His eyes darted to Phoenix’s brand,which was on the left side of her chest, impossible to miss againsther pale skin. “Light, why? Whydid you do it?”

She stared up at him, a thousandimages replaying in her mind in an instant. How could she possiblyput them together in a way that made sense?

But maybe shealready had.

Her hand reached up to shakily brushsome of his bangs from his worried face. Worried for who, shewondered?

“You’re not a bodyguard,” shemurmured.

Theneverything went black.

[eryiss]

Fraxus Week 2020: Day 1 - First Meeting

Summary: After a crappy post-college first year, Laxus jumped at the opportunity to leave town for a week for a road trip with his friends. He intended it just to be a week away with his friends, but when he meets an unfamiliar stranger, the vacation turns into something much more. [Fraxus Multichapter]

This was written as part of the annual Fraxus Week event hosted by @fuckyeahfraxus​​. This year I’ve decided to make an eight-part multi-chapter fic out of the prompts. They might not be in the correct order, but I think the end product will be worth it. Hope you all enjoy it.

You can read this on Fanfiction, Archive of our Own, and under the cut.  Read the other chapters from this masterlist.

Chapter One – Getting Aboard

It had been Bickslow's idea.

Nobody would think it, but the blue haired idiot was perhaps the most caring of the group, the mother figure, in a way. He wasn't the most conventional 'mom friend', and it certainly didn't diminish his enthusiasm to get drunk off his ass when the opportunity presented itself, but he was always the one keeping an eye out on his friends and knew when something was wrong. Apparently he had seen something was wrong with all three of them, and had come up with this plan on how to fix it.

A road trip to the Grand Canyon. None of his friends knew where the idea had come from, nor did they know why he insisted on renting an RV and driving there instead of getting the train. But the man had this enthusiasm about him that was cast upon them like a spell, and they couldn't find a way to fight it. Perhaps they all knew they needed the break.

Laxus was damn sure he did.

It had been just shy of a year since his graduation from college, and his plan had been to get a job in a gym being a personal trainer. That hadn't happened. He'd gone to many job interviews and nothing had come from any of them, and each rejection had been like a punch to the gut. He knew he couldn't just use his grandfather's money for ever, so had gotten what was meant to be a temporary job in an office while he looked for more appropriate employment. That had been nine months ago, and he hadn't been near to an interview for his chosen career in over half a year.

So far, his post college life had been a failure. Perhaps he had been naïve to think good things would happen instantly, perhaps he just needed to be patient. But the idea of getting away from everything for a week was what he needed.

Even if it was in what he could only assume was a crappy van.

Even if he had to wake up at five thirty to get on the highway before the majority of traffic, for some reason.

Even if one of the people he was traveling with was a stranger.

He had known Bickslow for the longest. They had been friends since they were kids and, although Bickslow moving away for college had meant they weren't as close as they once were, Laxus still considered the man his closest friend. He was chaotic, loyal, and overall just a fun guy. He could be obnoxious, but who couldn't?

Evergreen had come later, when she transferred into their high-school and Bickslow had dragged her into their small group. She was a little haughty at first, but that was clearly a defensive state she took on as the new girl. As they got closer, she showed a snarkier and quick-witted side. She fit in with the two men like the missing piece of a puzzle, even if she had a stupid insistence of hitting them with a fan when annoyed.

But now there was Freed.

Laxus didn't know all that much about Freed. He knew that he went to the same college that Bickslow and Ever did. He knew that he lived a few towns over, about half an hour's drive. He knew that he was a literary and science major. That was it. But both Bix and Ever thought well of him, so he was probably a good person.

"What time is he coming?" Makarov asked, cupping a mug of coffee while sitting at the kitchen table.

"Should be a few minutes," Laxus shrugged, biting into the toast he'd made for himself.

"I don't get why you have to leave this early," Makarov commented, glancing at the clock handing on the wall as sipped his drink. "You're going to be driving for days on end, you'll get caught in traffic anyway. You might as well sleep in to an appropriate time."

"Nobody asked you to see me off," Laxus quirked an eyebrow. He agreed with the sentiment though, he'd much rather leave later and deal with the traffic.

"No, but you seemed determined to bump into everything as you were getting ready and to make as much noise as you could. It's hard to sleep through that," Makarov grinned, clearly trying to get a reaction out of his grandson. "Besides, it's been years since I saw your friends, it'll be nice to see them again. And that new boy you'll be travelling with, I want to mee him too."

"We're picking him up later," Laxus said, crunching another bite of toast; he had burned it.

"Ah," Makarov nodded.

The two men fall into a comfortable quiet, the silence being accompanied by the radio Makarov had insisted turning on despite complaining about all the music they played. Laxus ate his breakfast while his grandfather read the newspaper. Once Laxus was finished, he checked the small suitcase that he had packed for himself to make sure it had everything he needed, then sat back at the kitchen table and waited for his friends to arrive.

A few minutes later he got the text saying that Bickslow was outside. He cracked his back and walked to the front door of the house he shared with his grandfather, and looked upon the large RV that had been parked at the foot of the driveway.

It was an impressive looking vehicle, and probably a good model. The idea to go on this road trip had been made in March, giving the four of them four months to save up enough to hire something relatively luxurious. Bickslow was hanging out of driver's seat window with a wide grin on his face, clearly happy that his plan was starting. Laxus found his enthusiasm infectious, and a small smile graced his lips as he approached.

This was exactly what he needed to put aside the disappointment of the year.

"Hey man," Bickslow greeted with a voice too loud for the time of the morning. He looked past Laxus and grinned wider. "Hey Mr D."

"Morning Bickslow," Makarov greeted from the doorframe, smiling. "Is Evergreen not with you?"

"She's in the back, sleepin'. Told her that it'll take a hell of a lot of beauty sleep not to make her look like that, but she didn't listen to me," He cackled at his own joke, and Laxus chuckled as he saw a hairbrush hit him in the back of his head. "The big guy wake you up, Mr D?"

"What do you think?" Makarov laughed, and Laxus glared at him. Since when was it a known trait that he couldn't keep quiet in the morning?

"See you in a week-old man," Laxus waved his hand, hoping to stop the taunting conversation between his friend and relative. "Try not to die while I'm gone."

"Cheeky brat," Makarov retorted with a grin. "Have fun kids."

Bickslow gave a response in the affirmative while Laxus pulled open the door of the RV, climbing up the steps. It was as nice inside as it was outside, with a small table and seating nook, a cooking area, a bed at the back and a small room that Laxus assumed would be the washroom. Laxus absently wondered if either he or Bickslow would manage to fit in the shower, given their size. But still, it was a nice vehicle and would be more than enough for their week inside of it.

Laxus walked to the front of the vehicle and took the passenger's seat, grinning at the sight of Evergreen with an eye mask on while buckled into the seats surrounding the table. The seat was comfortable enough, and Laxus found himself smiling at the vehicle.

"She's nice, right," Bickslow grinned in reference to the RV. "Best one they had. Turns out four of us not having any fun for months means we save a lot of money."

"Glad to hear it," Laxus chuckled. "I half expected you to pull up in some crappy van with a piss stained mattress in the back."

"Oddly specific there Dreyar. Speaking from experience?" Bickslow grinned, and it was clear that his excitement was going to make him completely obnoxious throughout the week. As annoying as it was, Laxus wouldn't have it any other way. "So, just gonna put this out here. Sleeping situation. The bed at the back fits two, and the table folds away and makes another single bed. Obviously, they'll be two of us in the back. So we can either have Ever and Freed sharing the single bed 'casue we won't fit-"

"Like hell I'm sharing," Ever snapped from her seat. "It'll be cramped enough as it is."

"Or we take turns each night with one of us in that chair," He nodded to the seat Laxus was sitting in. "It reclines and turns slightly, so they'll be enough leg space. It's basically like a plane seat without anyone behind you."

"I'm sure we can manage with that," Laxus nodded. "Wouldn't wanna piss of medusa," A hairbrush hit the back of Laxus' head this time. "How many brushes do you have?"

"Five, they each do different things," Evergreen grunted from her seat, and Laxus chuckled when he saw her put the mask over her eyes again.

"How can they do different things?" Laxus asked.

"They just do, it's why they're all different shapes and have thinner and thicker prongs," Evergreen sighed. "Ask Freed when he gets here, I'm sure he'll know. And that way you won't be talking to me and I can get some sleep."

Laxus decided not to push his luck, knowing that his friend had enough strength to throw a hair dryer at his head, as well as the morality to do so. Instead he leant over to Bickslow, who had pushed the key into the ignition, and spoke softly.

"Why would he know much about hair brushes exactly?" He asked, and Bickslow looked at him with confusion before realisation hit him.

"Sorry, I keep forgetting that you know basically nothing about him," He laughed, turning the key, and starting the engine. It was a powerful machine, and Laxus appreciated it. "Freed's got really long hair, keeps it pretty well looked after too. Goes down to his ass, don't know when he last had it cut. It looks good on him though. Oh, and it's green. Like, bright green."

"Really," Laxus furrowed his brows. "Everything you've said about him makes him seem pretty… strait laced I guess."

"He is, kinda. He's just got green hair," Bickslow shrugged, smiling wide. "He's kinda contradictory when you get to know him. You'll love him, I know it baby."

Bickslow revved the engine unnecessarily, waved out the window with an overly loud 'Bye Mr D!' as he did so, and started to pull out from Laxus' neighbourhood. Laxus gave his grandfather a small wave in goodbye, and saw the old man return the gesture. He leant back in his comfortable chair and allowed the gentle vibrations of the vehicle moving to calm him, closing his eyes softly as the warm sun hit his face through the front window.

This was exactly what he had needed after the year he'd had, and even the idea of being in the RV with a stranger didn't put a damper on his mood.

~~~

It had taken about forty minutes to get into the town Freed had lived in, and only a little while longer to get to his apartment. The building wasn't the nicest looking place in the world, and Bickslow explained that Freed lived by himself and financed his own life through his student loan and a job. Laxus didn't judge him; that was an admirable thing to do and he couldn't look down on his because he lived in a slightly crappy apartment building.

Honestly, for some reason he had expected a spoiled kid.

"Could you go up and get him?" Bickslow asked, looking towards Laxus.

"Can't you text him?"

"Nah, he takes hours to answer any texts, so I never know if he actually reads them quickly or not. Don't wanna be waiting down here for ages," Bickslow shrugged, and then grinned. "Besides, it'll give the two of ya a chance to get to know each other before you get trapped in here with us. Makes it less awkward."

Laxus sighed, but nodded. He was almost certain that getting to know Freed was the only reason he had been chosen to find the man, but he couldn't prove it as he didn't know if Bickslow's claim about his texting etiquette was true or not. He shifted his way out of the RV, Bickslow shouting the man's apartment number and the code for the door as he did so. Once he closed the door, he could swear that he heard the two speaking in the van, but ignored it.

The apartment building wasn't run down, but it was lacking luxury. Paint was peeling off some of the walls and the elevator opened with a horrid creak. Laxus walked into it and pushed the button for the ninth floor.

A ridiculous bubble of nervousness entered his stomach as the elevator started to ascend. He had never been talented socially, and his communication skills were both blunt and often uncared for. This had meant he never truly got used to being around new people, and it took him a while to warm up with most people. And now he was going to be stuck in a pretty small RV for around a week with a man he didn't know. He knew that his friends were good judges of characters and they assured him that they'd get along, but Laxus still could be nervous about meeting him.

Once the lift had found the right floor, Laxus looked around and settled on the sixth apartment's door. He knocked it curtly, the sound echoing awkwardly in the hallway. Laxus fidgeted for a moment before it was opened, revealing Freed.

"Oh," The man said in a velvet smooth voice. "Hello."

"Hey," Laxus greeted. "I'm Laxus, Bickslow might have told you about me. He said to come get you."

"Of course," The man said, and offered him a smile.

It was a nice smile. In fact the entirety of the man was nice to look at. He had long green hair, as Bickslow had said, and it was tied up in a high pony tail. A few green strands had fallen down to frame his face, accenting his sharp features, and pronounced bone structure. His outfit portrayed a fit body, and the unassigned top button showed a small slather of a firm chest. He had piercing blue eyes, a small black mark high on his left cheek, and thin lips.

When his eyes flickered down, he saw that the man had two large sports bags at his feet, clearly his own luggage. Laxus was suddenly reminded of why he was there, and snapped out of his split-second trance.

"You need help with them?" He offered.

"I'm fine," Freed assured him. "Although you could hold this if you don't mind."

He reached for a shelf in his apartment and picked up a small plastic thermos, handing it to Laxus. The blonde took it and looked at it with confusion. "Doesn't it make more sense for you to hold your own drink. I really don't mind taking a bag."

"It's not for me," Freed explained, lifting his bags out of his apartment, and placing them down to lock the door. "I shared a morning class with Evergreen, and she was snappy enough at eight in the morning, let alone half six. I assumed she might need some caffeine."

"Yeah, both me a Bix got a hairbrush thrown at us already," Laxus laughed. "Probably a good call."

"I would have made the two of you one as well," Freed stated as they walked down the hall. "But I don't know what you drink, and I don't believe that Bickslow needs any help in being overly energetic."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure my grandpa's neighbour is gonna complain because of the shouting," Laxus grinned a little as he called the elevator. His friends were a topic he could handle.

"I'm surprised he didn't try and get my attention by yelling from the sidewalk."

"Well, I'm pretty sure that the only reason he sent me up here is so we can talk without them being there," Laxus admitted, before wondering if it was appropriate to say so. Was it meant to be a secret?

"It makes sense," Freed nodded. "They haven't really told me too much about you. I know your name, that you're a year older than us, and that you went to college to become trained in sports science and physiotherapy. That's essentially it."

"Well, that's all true," Laxus said as he walked into the open elevator. "I haven't gotten a job in my field yet, so I took a temp job. But I'm still looking. Bix said you've got a job as well as going to college?"

"I'm a waiter at Blue Pegasus, a restaurant a few blocks away," Freed explained. "It's not the most interesting work, but the pay is enough to keep me stable. And sometimes I'll get a meal at the end of the shift for free, so I can't complain."

Laxus nodded, understanding the conflict of working at a job that doesn't thrill you without having the option of quitting. The elevator started to slide down, and a repetitive tone began to play in the small box. Neither man spoke, and Laxus would have expected the urge to fill the silence, but it didn't come. For whatever reason, he felt comfortable with not speaking when Freed was around, something that didn't happen to him often.

Thinking back, the last time he had been okay in silence with a stranger had been Evergreen.

They reached the bottom floor hallway of the building a moment later, and Laxus held open the front door for Freed so the man could walk out without dropping his bags. When they walked into the morning sun, Laxus found himself momentarily transfixed by the sight of the man under natural light.

He looked radiant.

His slightly paler skin seemed to glow in the sunlight, and his perfectly brushed hair shimmered in the light. His eyes even seemed to sparkle as he approached the comparatively dull vehicle that was their home for the next week. Laxus' grip on the thermos tightened slightly as he walked forward.

"Just opened the storage," Bickslow commented from the window. "Put your bags in there, so we have space."

Freed nodded, walking to the small storage cubby that was opened from the side of the truck. He placed his bags down and opened it, and Laxus walked beside him. Freed placed one of the bags into the RV's trunk equivalent, and Laxus lifted the other to do the same. It held a fair amount of weight to it, and Laxus found himself impressed that the man had managed to lift this and another bag without any difficulty. Maybe the bulging in his sleeves wasn't just vanity muscles, as Laxus had assumed.

"Thank you," Freed nodded towards Laxus, closing the storage space.

"It's fine," Laxus assured him.

The two men climbed inside the RV, being greeted by a still too cheery 'welcome to the party bus' form Bickslow. Laxus saw that, in his time in the building, Evergreen had taken the front seat and was reclining in it with the eye mask on and a blanket covering her body. He rolled his eyes, placed the drink in a cup holder on the dash, and looked back over the RV's interior. The only place you could sit while it moved were in the table booth that Freed was sitting at. Laxus took the seat opposite him.

As he got into the leather booth, he saw that Freed had taken out a novel and was scanning the paged with quick moving eyes. The sun was hitting his face just right and illuminated it in a damn impressive way. Annoyingly, Laxus blushed

"All aboard," Bickslow yelled. "Next stop, the Grand Canyon."

And, with a pleasant nervousness in his stomach as he looked at Freed, Laxus found himself excited for the journey.

[bumbleb-tch]

Fic Masterlist

Series:

Leather and Lace-  Rating: T Word Count: 7,849 Summary: Adrienette, No Magic Au, Tattoo Parlour/Flower Shop AU, 2 works Nearly every day, Marinette left her shop for what he assumed was her lunch break just after Adrien opened, the first few times he saw her were coincidence, but every time she passed she never failed to aim a cheerful wave and smile in his direction-and stop to flirt with Plagg. Without even really noticing it, Adrien stopped taking clients right when he opened, and started getting ready earlier, just so he could make sure he was casually lounging in his lobby when Marinette passed every day. Pathetic? Maybe. Chloe certainly thought so. This had continued for months now, and Adrien still couldn’t pull himself together enough to actually go talk to her, but honestly, the glowing smile she gave him every day through the window was the highlight of his day. Of course, the following minutes where she talked with his cat and showered the goblin with attention was the most irritating part of his day.

A Drunk Chat’s Words- Rating: M Word Count: 6,325 Summary: Marichat, Drunk!Chat Noir/Hungover!Chat Noir, 2 works “You are the most beautiful creature I have ever been blessed to lay my eyes upon,” the voice was cooing, a bit unsteadily, if she was honest, not that it soothed her nerves that much. “Just a perfect little kitty, aren’t you? You’re so good. Your tiny paws? Spectacular. Your adorably pink nose? 10/10 would boop…” The voice continued but Marinette stopped focusing on the words, too focused on the suspiciously familiar cadence prompting her to creep back into the living room, where she was greeted by the sight of her superhero partner crouched on all fours on her balcony. Worst of all, he seemed to be engaged in a rather emotional discussion with her cat. 

Multichapter: 

Just a Shadow of Myself- Rating: T Word Count: 13528 Summary: Marichat, Adrienette, Ladrien, Ladynoir, Soulmate AU, Shadow Swap 23:55 p.m. Five more minutes until Marinette’s 16th birthday chimed. If she was lucky enough to be the younger half of her soulmate pair then her shadow would switch with her soulmate’s until they met, and slowly fade back to her own over time. The way she figured, with all of Ladybug’s luck she would be the younger one, which meant in five minutes she’d be on the start of her journey towards her soulmate. 

Oneshots:

Resonance- Rating:T Word Count: 1495 Summary: Ladynoir, Soul Eater AU If someone had told her a few months ago that she’d be moonlighting as a superhero meister with an overly flirtatious tomcat as her partner, trying to take down what could only be called a supervillain-who despite having failed to defeat them 78 out of 78 times, apparently was so consumed by his own hubris and self confidence that he refused to back down- Ladybug would laughed until she cried. But here she was, 14 year reigning champ of the clumsiest girl alive, going toe to toe with a terrorist on the biweekly, resonating with her partner to a mind blowing magnitude. Ladybug’s belief was that the Miraculous amplified both their ability to resonate, as well as the power of their individual souls. Chat liked to insist that it was because they were partners, destined to be a perfect match-infuriatingly charismatic, as always. Tikki had suggested it might be some of both. In any case, Ladybug didn’t know if she could ever have another partnership compare to this one.

Excuse me, sir- Is this your cat?-

Rating: G Word Count: 1875 Summary: Adrienette, No Magic AU, Cat!Plagg, Dog!Tikki Marinette ran her fingers through her hair in exasperation, making direct, challenging eye contact with him. Seconds passed in silence. She blinked first. The cat seemed smug. Or as smug as a cat who theoretically didn't have more cognitive understanding than a three year old could. Stomping her foot in an indignant and almost childish manner, Marinette scowled, “Look Mr. Noir,” she didn’t think he liked the name very much but she couldn’t just call him Cat, “We need to go to the pet store to try and find your owner.”

The Trials and Tribulations of Adrien Agreste, RA Extraordinaire- Rating: T Word Count: 1595 Summary: Adrienette, College AU, No Magic AU Adrien was beginning to regret his decision to spend the day walking the dorm and introducing himself to as many residents as possible. It had seemed like such a solid plan when he’d finished moving in early and found himself with nothing to do. He was the new RA and he’d felt it would be good to have as many residents know him and what he looks like as soon as possible. Oh how wrong he had been. 2 floors, 3 hours, and 14 phone numbers later, he still had another 2 floors to go, and if Adrien heard one more too high squeal about how glad someone was that such a nice sweet guy like him was the new RA, he would dive out the nearest window.

I just came here for the drugs (so stop your faking)- Rating: T Word Count: 4951 Summary: Adrienette, Sick!Drugged!Adrien “Hey, can you hold this?” Adrien asked, passing her his bag before she could respond. While she held it, blinking vacantly, he dug inside until he unearthed a massive bottle of Nyquil. He set the bottle on the desk and reclaimed his bag, tucking it away before fiddling with the cap of the bottle. Seconds passed as he struggled, seemingly unperturbed by his lack of success. All the while, Marinette was beginning to twitch with the effort to not do it for him. Just as she was about to snatch it from him, the cap came off and he hummed victoriously. Then Adrien lifted the bottle to his lips and tipped it back, chugging long enough to make her concerned. “I don’t think that’s how you’re supposed to take it,” Marinette breathed, not sure what else to say when he’d just taken a quarter of a bottle of Nyquil like he was hoping he wouldn’t wake up ever again. --- Adrien has the sniffles and makes the incorrect assumption that tripling his dose of Nyquil will triple the effects. It doesn't. Oh, and he and Marinette are supposed to be doing a project together.

WIPs: 

3 is a Magic Number- Rating: T Word Count: 3818 Summary: Ladynoir, Adrienette, Polyfic (but it’s a surprise), Soulmate AU, Red Strings of Fate AU, 1/2 Chapters She took a deep breath and forced her eyes open, first noting Chat frozen in front of her and then quickly turning to her notes to scribble down what she’d noticed so far. Marinette’s fingers tingled with restless energy, and she underscored ‘possible addictive properties’. “Chat? Status update.” The boy sputtered to life behind her, stammering a series of disjointed not-quite-words and landing on, “Uh, this?” Marinette rolled her eyes, “Ten points to Hufflepuff for clarity and precision,” She reached up to brush away her bangs with her other hand, something red drifting into her periphery. “What the hell?” Shooting up, she spun to face her partner, holding her hand up in front of her face. Two neat bows of red string were tied around her pinky, loose ends from each drifting down and away from her. One spanned the short distance between herself and Chat, nearly taut and almost glowing, a low hum emanating from it. The other tumbled to the floor, loops tangling with another string that she chased back up to Chat’s finger, the pair stretching out the window and into Paris. --- Alternatively, a day testing recipes from the grimoire takes a sharp twist of fate

Smoke and Mirrors- Rating: M Word Count: 14385 Summary: Marichat, Ladynoir, Double Akumatization, 9/? Chapters White glinted in the light cast by the door, and Marinette's blue eyes met a colder but equally anxious gaze. Her blood froze in her veins, a strangled whimper escaped her throat unbidden as she was thrust full force into the memory of the last time she'd seen those eyes. Of a broken lonely boy in an empty world and feeling herself dissolve into ash and slip between her own fingers. A fear stronger than any she'd felt facing an akuma clutched her heart in it's grasp, and Marinette realized her cheeks were wet.

love is a bloom, nurtured by my tears(and choked by my sorrows)- Rating: M Word Count: 20051 Summary: Marichat, Coffee Shop AU, Kwamiswap, 5/? Chapters Marinette loved her partner, no question. But at some point in six years, she’d stopped feeling it. She’d stopped feeling anything. And she called love a scam enough times that she actually believed it. So every night, patrol or not, Marinette would go to bed by 1:00 a.m., to get enough sleep for the next day. Every day of her life, she’d scheduled down to the minute. An endless routine that she lived for years, carefully designed to make sure that her life was so full of work and responsibilities and alarms, that maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t notice how empty it was. 

[thelazyeye]

hi!! i hope you are doing well :D im going through your ‘writing/on writing’ tag and im not finished yet, but i was wondering if you have the time could you share your writing process/routine? and how do you write lengthy stories? do you have any tips for that? i have been struggling to push past 1-2k words

Hello! I’ve noticed you sought out advice some several other authors. Good call, everyone’s process is different. I can give you a nice idea of how I function. I’m gonna give some screenshots of a fic outline for parts I’ve already written in AIO. 

On your question about writing process/routine

I start off with a basic plot idea and pretty much go off of that and flesh it out. If I’m looking to do multichapter, I break down the plot and important scenes into various chapters. If I have a nice idea of how I want that scene to go, I write it out in the outline so when the time comes I don’t forget and have a nice jumping point to go off of. Here is an example:

Note: this is not exactly how things went down in that chapter (also the number is mislabeled). This is important: be flexible. I wrote this outline over a year ago. Things change. The story has evolved. There are things in the outline that are irrelevant, there are things in the fic that aren’t in the outline. The pacing changed. The tone changed. That’s all okay. Go with the flow. The outline is a skeletal structure not the bible. It’s meant to give direction. 

My outlines are normally really important to me. I know personally that if I don’t know where a fic is going I WILL give up on it and abandon it. I need to have a clear end goal. 

For fics and AUs with a really in depth plot (AIO specifically), I write out character descriptions so I know how I want the character to come across and I don’t lose or have to retcon any information. Here are some examples:

When I’m not at my computer and I have an idea for a scene I make time to pull my phone out and jot stuff down in the notes. I have notes upon notes in my phone of scenes, plots, dialogue, and ideas. I’ve written entire chapters on my phone in the bathroom at work before because I KNOW if I don’t write it down I’ll lose it. If I’m able to and inspiration strikes, I write. Don’t put it off. Your brain is lying to you - you will not remember that awesome dialogue or idea you had 12 hours ago. Write. It. Down. 

On your question about writing lengthy stories

Listen, I’m wordy as hell and I pay way too much attention to emotions and details. That shit requires a high word count. I write a lot off of my own internal dialogue for the character. I think about what the character is thinking/feeling/doing and I write that process out as best I can. I have a hard time writing anything below 2k. That’s just how I function. HOWEVER. You don’t have to write 10k to be a good writer. I’ve read knockout fics that are 1.5k and killed me on sight. I’ve read 2k fics that held my family hostage. I’ve read 100k fics that were godawful. Wordcount standards are the devil. Don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself. It’ll ruin your work. Just write the story - as completely and fully as you see it in your head. If you do that, the word count doesn’t matter. It can be 2k or 20k, as long as you’re telling the story you want to tell you’ve accomplished your goal. 

If you really wanna boost your word count, look for gaps in the story or places where you can elaborate on what’s happening. What is your character doing? What are they thinking? How are they feeling? Who’s with them? What are secondary characters doing? What kind of space are they in? World build a little bit: describe their room, their car, their house, is there graffiti? Is their room messy? Posters? Carpet color? What kind of road are they driving on? Details, my friend. Bring your reader into the world you’re building. Make them feel part of the story.

If you have any more questions or what to chat, please hit me up. Askbox or DMs are always open and I love chatting about these kinds of things. Don’t be stranger and happy writing!!

[bunysliper]

Saw the tweet you just posted. You don't have to answer all of them if you don't want to, because I'm submitting a lot... "40 questions - meme for fic writers": 4 - 7 - 8 - 11 - 13 - 17 - 18 - 37 - 38

Thanks Anon! I’ll put the answers here and on twitter (I’m bunysliper there, too) if you’d like: 4. How many fic ideas I’m nurturing right now: So I have a document where I’ve written down ideas/prompts that I think I might write at some point in time. Right now it has.... 24 on it. Around 8 of those are 2x24-based, haha. One that I’m excited to get to, though, is a cute post-Last Call oneshot where Caskett spends some time together exploring the tunnels under The Old Haunt.

7. A snippet of my favorite piece of prose: I put a little explanation on twitter, but this is from echoed on your skin: “He's about to turn twenty-six the day she asks what he thinks of being matched, both in general and to her. It's the first time they have acknowledged their situation to one another, and the short conversation that follows bolsters his spirit; having a Soul Match is odd for them both, but they will make it through.

Just weeks later, he finds himself giving her a hard time about the compass rose tattoo that appears on his hip. It is small, not what he would have chosen for himself, and at first he is a little perturbed to know it will be on his body forever. As time goes on, he likes the idea behind it more and more; the shared compass orients them toward one another.

He finds that comforting, grounding. Even as his professional life takes off, his popularity grows, and he becomes something of a golden boy in some literary circles, the marking on his hip is a reminder that there is more to him than that. He has a Soul Match he will one day meet.

Still, he can't help but push the envelope a bit. He doesn't just sign books, he scrawls his name against skin, hoping to one day see that signature echoed on his own body.

A year passes, and it never does.” 8. A snippet of my favorite piece of dialogue and why: So I went with the first piece of dialogue that popped into my head, from Just the Essentials:

“"What the hell is that?"

Heads have been turning ever since he stepped foot into the precinct with his cargo, but this time the looks – along with Esposito's question – stop him mid-stride.

He's been preparing what he's going to say for the last eight blocks, he's got this.

"What do you mean?" he asks, feigning innocence. Always start with innocence. Never admit guilt until necessary. "Beckett said make a run for food. I'm supplying nourishment to keep us going as we work this case. I got beef lo mein, I got moo shu pork, I got sesame chicke–"

"And a dog," his wife supplies, crossing her arms over her chest, one eyebrow jumping high enough on her forehead to blend in with her hairline. "I'm sorry, two dogs."

"I also got your favorite," Castle deflects, bouncing on his toes. "The spare ribs."

"Castle, the dogs?" Kate prompts, not to be deterred by his sidestep.

"You did say the essentials, didn't you?"“

I like it because it just feels so quick and snappy and I could picture it happening.

11. Is writing my passion or just a fun hobby? It’s a combination of both. For now, it’s a very passionate hobby. That said, maybe sometime in the future it’ll be my passionate career.

13. Best piece of writing advice and why: Just write. Get it all out. The rest - the editing, the fixing stuff, all of that, will happen later.

17. Do I write a story from start to finish or do I write the scenes out of order: I’m a really linear writer, so 99% of the time, I go from start to finish. There are some times when I’ll get inspiration for a scene that goes later and I’ll write that down, but that’s not typical for me.

18. Do I use any tools like worksheets or outlines? For most of my multichapters, I outline so that I won’t forget where I want the story to go in the time it takes me to get there. For oneshots, I just go with it (though if I want to keep an idea, I’ll write one or two sentences about it so I won’t forget it).

37. Talk about my current WIPs: Of the stories/ideas I’m actively working on, I have the multichapter that I teased a couple of times - it’s a continuation of a oneshot that I posted a little bit ago. I outlined it to 18 chapters and I’m working on chapter 3 now so I’ll hopefully start posting that soon. I also have a season 3 fic that I started around Christmas time, so it’s a more Christmas-focused story. And I’m also trying my hand at writing a drabble/double drabble/vingette style thing for every episode. I’m up to 2x03 now, so once I get a few more, I’ll start posting that one. Oh! I have a fic I teased a long time ago but keep stalling on that’s a pre-series AU based on Castle and Beckett meeting online. I also have The Perfect Pairing, another meeting/job AU based on Beckett and Castle bonding over wine and movies. And I have a few other oneshots/prompt responses/continuations that I’ve got a few hundred words on respectively.

38. A review that made my day: All reviews make my day, but the ones that I really love are ones that tell me I changed someone’s mind (about a character, an idea, an ep, etc).

[frostbitepandaaaaa]

author tag game

tagged by @justwandering-neverlost . thank you, love!

1. Fandom you write for:

game of thrones / jonerys

2. Where you post:

ao3. sometimes short little scribbles on tumblr

3. Most popular one-shot:

Observe and Report in which Jon tries to hire Missandei as a Dothraki tutor and oops he reveals that he’s in love with Daenerys. 

4. Most popular multichapter:

my hulking emo baby Ozymandian is by far and away the most popular fic i’ve ever written it’s terrifying

5. Favorite story you’ve written:

thisis like picking between children. i’m gonna go with two because you can’t tell me what to do.

Thumbprint Scar is just so... precious to me. i love it dearly and it has proven to be something of a haven for me. and, hopefully someday, it will be something that launches my writing career ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. but i love that stupid little yarn more than sense. every time that Fleet Foxes song comes on my heart melts. i’m finishing it, i swear. 

The Symptom of Time took a little piece of it with me, and for that i will forever be grateful. i love that fucking story so much. i think it’s the best thing i’ve ever written. 

6. A story you were nervous to post:

literally all of them, but the one that freaked me out the most was Rangeland, the modern AU i wrote for the Fury Road fandom. i had never fucked with AUs in my long, long time in fandoms, modern or otherwise, so i was nervous af to post that up cause i thought that there was no fucking way i did it correctly at all. 

7. How do you choose your titles:

i owe Joanna Newsom a hell of a lot, as The Symptom of Time, Ozymandian, Built to Love, And in Blood and Worse, The Fire Moves Away, The Love That You’ve Lent Me, and Though the Way is Clear are all lifted from her amazing lyricism. 

i’ve borrowed from other musicians as well: A State of Emergency is from Bjork’s ‘Joga’. Thumbprint Scar is from the Fleet Foxes song “’ Am All That I Need / Arroyo Secco / Thumbprint Scar’. The Boney King of Nowhere is from Radiohead’s ‘The Gloaming’.  Love in Whatever Way is from James Blake’s song of the same name (i think that’s the only story i’ve titled where it’s the same title as the song).

but, sometimes, lyrics will not do and i title at random. i fucking love titling. it’s like.... legit one of my fav things about writing. Titles are SO IMPORTANT. sometimes, titles will jump out at me before i start writing... sometime not for hours after i finish writing, but it’s always the best feeling when i come up with the title. i fucking love it so much. 

8. Do you outline?

yes and no. i outline Oz, cause that thing is an out of control monster, but otherwise... no, not really. usually, when i get bit by a bug, i open a doc and just write the most random, stream of consciousness bullshit, and then i go back later and patch it up via furious establishment scenes and copy and pastes. 

9. Complete number of stories: 

on ao3 31.

10. What do you have in progress?

fuck.

Ozymandian, my post season 7 epic that i will finish one of these fucking days.

Thumbprint Scar, my modern AU that i will be finishing fairly soon here i hope.

A Red Right Hand, my historical AU that i don’t have time to think uch about now, but will be tended to eventually.

and my newest endeavor, my Pacific Rim AU that i’m writing for Jonerys Remix 2020. it’s called Fire and Brimstone.

11. Do you accept prompts?

yeah, but whether or not i write them is another matter altogether. 

12. Upcoming story you’re most excited about:

Fire and Brimstone, my Pacific Rim AU! it’ll be three parts, each part being (unfortunately for me) about 9k words. i’m having a blast so far. :D

im gonna tag @muttpeeta @fierypen37 @iamthewatcheronthewall @stilesssolo and anyone else who’d like to share! 

[cassandras-nest]

.Invisible man.

So here we are, the first chapter is here (and i’m terrified..)

disclaimer 1: english isn’t my first language, so i apologize for any mistake

disclaimer 2: this fic uses references to the very first internet service, chatrooms & all, i was 20 back then and there were no smartphones yet.

disclaimer 3: Deakster:John CoolCat:Cassandra

pairing: 00s John Deacon x OC Cassandra

warnings: brief mention of divorce and paranoia. Age-gap (20/50), extremely slow burn, very angst, probably sweet at very end (multichapter)

thanks @binkyisonline for everything, without her i wouldn’t be here, writing silly things

summary: Newly divorced John Deacon joins the Queen forum’s chatroom with a fake account and start talking with someone who completely understand him and make him feel alive again. He finds himself obsessed with her pretty soon....

"Yeah, I think that laughing makes me feel better. I try to think about good things and smile, even if I had a bad day. It’s better than worrying too much." - John Deacon 1979

*CoolCat is online*

……………………..

CoolCat - Hey D., you’re already here :’D

Deakster -…today was quite boring, so yeah…how was school ?

CoolCat - a really big NOPE day…but I’ll tell you in a bit.

Deakster - oh ok…still busy?

Cool Cat - oh no, not so much, I just came back it’s all..

________

This was her new normal from one month and a half, almost since the day she joined the official Queen forum and the chat room as well.

She was in London from less than a year attending the London Fashion College and apart from people from her classes she didn’t know anyone in particular; she wasn’t much an outgoing person anyway, but it was ok. In her perspective, now her studies were more important.

One day, too much free time on her hands leaded to, finally, join the official Queen chatroom. She was already registered onto the forum but she didn't have time to actually talk to people or post something but that day she was bored, more than usual, and while the school was closed for winter holidays, she found herself with nothing more to do..

Now thanks to an impulsive decision, she found so many people to talk to with the same love and passion for a band that changed her life forever. 

Luckily she found some new “friends” too. One in particular who she talked to almost every time she was there, between school, her new part time job and a almost non-existent private life.

She didn’t know much about him, he was nice and very well behaved so she assumed he was a bit older than her. She even didn’t know his real name, not that it wasn’t important but it was ok, for now. She only knew that he lived in London, like her, but she never asked where exactly and he didn’t tell her too. It was just a really nice and easy chat to pass the time and probably she will never see his face so... why bother about all this anyway?

________

CoolCat - so?Why a boring day? Tell me..while I finish up my dinner : )

Deakster - I’m no that interesting y’ know?i don't know why you still talk to me anyway

CoolCat - don't start, i talk to you ‘cause i want it to ...so go on then, wanna know..why boring?

Deakster - I was at home all day, cleaning up…listening to old music, I wasn’t much in the mood for tv or reading today.

CoolCat - sounds interesting ;D

Deakster - i told you it was boring, no need to mock me ):

CoolCat - I will never ;D

Deakster - as much as I want to believe you, I don’t. Are you laughing at me right now, aren’t you?

CoolCat - I assure you I’m not, ok maybe a little bit.. picturing you doing all things housewife-y is fun..and cute, maybe.

Deakster - am I cute now? Now you totally making fun of me, you little devil :’(.

CoolCat - oh, you realizing it now? That i am indeed evil? I thought you said that you were smart once… :).

Deakster - that i am, i didn't know i was going to meet a tempting devil on my way ;)

CoolCat - eh, life's full of surprises …

CoolCat - back on topic, do you still want to hear how bad my day was instead? It's funny...in its own way

Deakster - and probably much more interesting, go on tell me then…

CoolCat - alright …..in short, they didn’t like my patterns at all..not even one….

________

He didn’t even know why he was still there.

It was supposed to be a one time only...twice at least, just to ease up his boring life a little.

But now?

At first the idea of joining the official band forum was absurd - its own band, what the hell he was supposed to do or say? 

Hence the idea of creating a fake account, he really missed the people, the noise, the attentions that once were given to him. In short, he missed the fame and he was bored out of his mind..

Newly divorced, although he and his ex wife were still on speaking terms, she was one of the few people to know him well after all, but still, life had put him through a lot and his life had changed so much in few years

Now he find himself in up-north London, all alone in a small fancy apartment, and 50 years old already. 

He didn’t want anyone to know it was him, he wanted to be free, just be himself and not the worldwide famous rockstar. So the idea he had seemed the best way to do it 

- and quite silly- his ex wife commented once with a laugh..

It was basically hiding in plain sight, if people knew better, his nickname gave it away a lot, but in a Queen forum not really, not so much…

________

Deakster - so you have to do them all over again? Like you did last week ?

CoolCat - basically yes, but better and it’s so frustrating…I know it’s for my own good, I know it but..fuck….. uh, sorry, it slipped :/

Deakster - hahahahaha don’t worry about it, I used to be worst than that :D

CoolCat - really? You didn’t say one single bad word since I’ve known you..

Deakster - that’s because I can behave in front of a young lady ;)

CoolCat - LOL omg! you know, you talk like a really old man.

Deakster - I am an old man !

CoolCat - you’re not, you’re funny! ;D

Deakster - I can be funny and old at the same time y’ know?

CoolCat - haha yeah right xD …

Deakster - ..and you’re mocking me again.. :/

CoolCat - am not, I told you you’re funny..thank you btw, you really cheered me up, sorry about the rambling...

Deakster - my pleasure and..don’t worry about it :D

________

She didn’t know why it was so easy talking to him, but it was indeed, even if they had a limited time whenever they chatted, every time it was worthy it. She felt safe with him, from the first moment they spoke, relaxed even and she really didn't know why..

It was the first time that a man didn’t ask her for special pictures or talk to her in a creepy way and, honestly, it was quite a relief.

Each day that passed she, slowly, became the curious one but and didn’t know how to tell him just after two months but she really wanted to know more about him.

She liked their unusual friendship and really didn’t want to ruin it, so maybe it wasn’t the right time anyway..

CoolCat - as nice as it was, now I have to go..i’m so sorry D. : (

Deakster - oh, it’s ok… :’(

CoolCat - oh don’t cry, I’ll see you another day isn’t it? :D

Deakster - yes! This old man could use some nice company, every now and then..

CoolCat - I’m flattered :* ..i’m a nice company after all…

Deakster - less when you, clearly, make fun of me :P

CoolCat - ouch! You hurt me ;) …. Now for real, I have to go or I’ll have to pay way too much for my internet.

Deakster - allright..allright, listen…

He stopped for a second, torn between his rational mind and his instinct...a question in his mind for days.

Deakster - Can I ask you something?

CoolCat - maybe next time D. but if it’s important…i can stay a little more..i think

Deakster - no, not all…next time it is :D

CoolCat - ok, bye :*

……………..

*CoolCat is offline*

It wasn’t an important matter, but he really wanted to ask...he had that question in his mind for two weeks or so already…

It was stupid? Probably.

It was too soon? Absolutely.

But he felt different, he felt at peace, he felt alive again, all thanks to her..and that’s what he needed these days.

Almost everyday he was there waiting to talk even if for few minutes and he didn't know why. Infact, he knew little about her, but he didn’t wanted to seem too pushy even if he wanted to know more every time.

In almost two month they talked about almost everything: he knows she was a Queen fan and it was a “family thing” like she said; her mother was a long time fan so it was natural for her to knew about the band. She didn’t have a favorite one, she was more into their music and, to his delight, she liked almost every song he wrote, making him feel really proud. He knows she was attending the London College of Fashion and he smiled to himself at the silly coincidence.

She was a big time fan of fantasy literature, especially Tolkien.

What he didn’t know was her real name, it wasn’t important per se but the more they talked, the more he wanted to know. 

Was it the same for her? ..

Next time, maybe...?

________

What they didn't know was that the following days soon took an unexpected turn…

Her life was already messy, but this week seemed much more chaotic than usual.

At school they had a bunch of unexpected tests, mostly pointless and boring and at work they changed her shifts without asking and now she was on the afternoon one; It wouldn't be a problem if only she could still study too, but every night she came back from work too tired to do anything more than sleep or eat. So every morning she woke up an hour or two before her actual alarm so she could did something, even if it meant to probably fell asleep in class...

Every night was a struggle to sleep. Her mind wandered to all the things waiting for her the next day and to a specific person, the one who had soon become a pleasant habit in her life and on how much she missed their small late talks. 

She sighs, hoping to come back online soon.

The truth was that she really missed him..

________

He was a mess.

He logged in more than usual that week, just to check if she was there, ignoring anyone else, but nothing showed up.

Many times a little voice inside his head told him that this was pathetic, caring for a young girl like that, a girl that didn't know who he was, a girl that had a very busy life, full of interests, a girl that, surely, was not thinking about him like he was with her. 

But he did, he can't help it. 

She was somehow special to him, someone who listened to him for once, that talked to him not because of his fame but because she wanted to, someone that made him laugh. She was nice to him, that's all.

However deep down he knew it was all a lie.

What will happen when she would discover who he really was? 

That thought scared him the most, but still, he was still there looking for her.(missing her)

________

A week passed with no news whatsoever.

She was always tired and impossibly busy, sleeping on her day off..

He was stressed with family issues with no one to talk to 

He still hoped that she would showed up one day or another.

Meanwhile his paranoia started to tricked him in the worst way ever...

________

opinions?advices?constructive criticism?..please tell me what you think..

and if you like it, comment and..maybe reblog? thank you

taglist: @bluewillowmom @iwanttoridemybri @deakysgurl @deakys-chesthair @deacytits @spacedust1124719 @stormtrprinstilettos @dontstopmemeow @mydeakydoesme @culturefiendtrashqueen @babyzellodeacon @sitonmyhot-seatoflove @myguardianmailman @raven974 @chasingthespiders @bismillahnah @acdeaky @sohoneyspreadyourwings   @supersonicfreddie​

sorry two tags didn’t worked properly