#still absolutely mad to me that hes a hermit

[saym0-0]

one (1) joelish bean

i never finished the wings bc they r evil 2 me but here u go

ignore the fact that its on the same canvas as a jonny drawing lol

[caineinthecorner]

Language (The Demon Brothers)

★ Based on my language general hcs. Part 2 is here.

Hi. Today we have the demon brothers language hcs, brought to you by a single dumbass bilingual. :D

I include mentions of bilingual/multilingual MC, but I use the term MC and you interchangeably in the bullet points. It's the same thing who cares (you can also add whatever languages you think fit I am just going off vibes tbh)

★ Lucifer.

Since he was the strongest and highest ranked out of the brothers, his innate abilities were muddled the least.

This is to say that he remembers a lot from his innate knowledge as an angel, and can actually fare incredibly well on his own if you leave him in the human realm.

(the language he preferred back in his angel days was Archaic Latin, which is also Simeon's preferred language)

When Diavolo brought up the idea of the human exchange program he was like "(: ok" and binged human language for like two months straight like a total psychopath

He's like one of those fancy 10+ languages fluent polyglots (how)

Despite his fluency, it is rare to ever see him speak them. He has better things to do and prefers demon tongue.

Or if he does, the Loquar Ad Vos that was applied to you once you arrived in Devildom doesn't allow you to hear it.

You try to swear in your native language around him and oh boy it backfires

That is how you learn he's fluent in everything under the sun (exaggeration)

Frustrated, you grumble that you will learn demon tongue just to one up him

He takes it like a challenge. Enjoy reading a million books on the demonic language and having double the homework for your little joke.

(he gives you hard material to learn on purpose to see you fail. Enjoy hell buckoo. Double hell? Hell²)

You kept misspelling good morning in demon tongue as a demonic death threat and that somehow turned into an inside joke between the two of you.

He has to keep himself from chuckling whenever MC screws up words

Your accent is lovely though. Keep it up

★ Mammon.

Spanish and English.

Ok I actually can't justify myself further than "Mams would absolutely fucking go to Vegas" and the fact that USA has a large Latino population but hear me out

You cannot tell me that he would not watch telenovelas. Like. C'mon.

he has the vibes of a Spanish speaker is what I am saying

he was SO frustrated about having to learn human languages you have no idea

In fact he probably still struggles a bit and that makes him really mad

Why is it so complicated all of the sudden?! It wasn't complicated Before!

He unconsciously associates human languages with the trauma of the fall, and the stress and hurt and turbulent emotions it conveys

So learning new languages besides the two he knows is a touchy subject for him

(but like, he will learn MC's native language despite this. Whining to hell about it, but he will. Everything for MC)

You are actually very lucky that you have Loquar Ad Vos with you, bcs he actually switches from demon tongue to either English or Spanish mid sentence sometimes.

Not that you notice with your crusty translator (Loquar also works for human languages it supports), of course.

"Ayo can you [Spanish phrase], oh and give me a [English word], for a [spanglish nonsense]" <- Mammon's dumbass not functioning in trilingual

Also he has an accent but he's trying

The others are used to it so they don't question it anymore, but they deadass could not understand Mammon at some point because trilingual was not computing

It was frustrating to say the least

You two play charades with each other when the other forgets a word in your respective languages

"MC WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE ANIMAL FUCK THAT CHANGES HOME" "... Hermit crab?" "THATS THE BITCH"

★ Leviathan.

Japanese (very decent) and English (bad) are musts.

You cannot tell me for a second this fuck watches anime subbed OR dubbed. He's too weeb for that. He will watch the original dub version for the full emotional impact

He wanted to know what happens in the weeb world of the west (and internet discourse), so he learned English through shitty 2000s anime forums and Duolingo

Probably plays Duolingo competitively and/or cries if he loses his streak

His hearing and speaking English is okay, his writing is literally so so shit

Tried to learn a romantic language to be corny but failed miserably.

(He steered clear of languages his brothers know so he isn't self conscious)

It was probably Portuguese or something since Mammon kept talking about being good at figuring it out as a Spanish speaker (due to it being a romantic language)

The diacritical marks killed him on the spot

Meu português não é bom... (crying)

Victim of the you're* corrections

Runs his several-paragraphs-long rants about weeb stuff through Satan so the grammar is legit

Actually thinking about it would be absolutely fucking hilarious if he knew russian just for funsies. Yeah add Russian to the list

He sends you crusty Russian memes at unholy hours in the morning. Calls that bonding

Would absolutely swear in loud ass Russian while playing Valorant or smt

"ПИЗДЕЦ" "LEVI IT'S 2AM SHUT THE FUCK UP"

Ah + he knows Morse code (obviously). He was really excited when he discovered it and proceeded to obsess over it for like three weeks straight.

Although by the time he learned about it humans had already moved on from its wide-spead use at sea (post-1999), the Devildom Navy adapted Morse code for their own use as per Levi's command.

He teaches MC how to use Morse code (bashfully) and they send lil' messages to each other for fun

★ Satan.

He inherited a good chunk of Lucifer’s angel-knows-all-languages innate talents.

He doesn't have the angel knowledge of every language, of course, but he definitely has a really high count since birth; Unlike his brothers who had to relearn their languages of interest.

However, he can tell™ that the topic of languages is kinda taboo-y, as it signifies the traumatic fall he himself was not there to witness, and kept quiet about it.

The others (mostly) think he just learned languages in his free time.

He is the designated google translate person. When the other brothers need translations, they ask him.

He gets very frustrated when he has to translate something on the spot

Absolutely knows Chinese and Latin just to read fancy old human books and be a menace about it

He has a copy of the Art Of War in Chinese I will fight you on that

Actually he probably owns every important human book in its native language

Culprit of the you're* corrections

If he has to read another thesis-length essay abt weeb shit by leviathan he will actually lose his shit

You know the Voynich manuscript? He's probably trying to decode it for funsies.

If you and him (unfortunately) share a language, he will absolutely correct the living shit out of you when you speak it

Look me in the eyes and tell me he wouldn't "erm ACtuAllY" MC. You can't.

His ass does not understand slang. At all. You tell him See You Later Alligator and he'll be like "tf you smoking ಠಿ⁠_⁠ಠ?"

★ Asmodeus.

French. And Korean. Maybe very mid English.

Ok so french is the language of lOVe and whatever + Korea is known for their heavy beauty-focused culture

I can see Asmo definitely picking up Korean just for makeup and self care brands purposes.

Like it is easier to browse for products he wants if he can actually browse the original places/websites himself

It's just more convenient and he's actually very good at language learning

+ Korean it is a "cutesy" language so it fits his vibe.

Like he absolutely would go "안녕 teehee (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)" to look disarming is what I am saying

He flirts to hell with Solomon in French. It is a language they both know and isn't supported by Loquar for translation so nobody can snoop their conversations

If you have the misfortune of knowing French I am so sorry for you bcs they are NASTY

Solomon is teaching him English. Asmo fakes being bad at it on purpose

★ Beelzebub.

He knows a decent amount of English.

What does he use it for? Order food. Obviously.

In fact everyone kinda assumes he just knows a few food orders and that's it but no he's actually very decent at English (borderline fluent)

He learned through clunky conversation with small restaurant owners

Beel actually makes a great effort to enunciate every word clearly, so he doesn't like speaking long sentences

"Would you like Salsa with that, sweetheart?" "... Yes," <- Beel has no fucking clue wtf salsa is but it tastes good so who is he to defy food gods (a nice Mexican grandma with a killer Pozole) whom have blessed him

I also think he would probably know some kind of sign language

Fingerspelling maybe, solely because it allows him to talk while having his mouth full or bcs his games are loud and he can't hear words very well

That and, like, the Devildom equivalent of sign language. DSL or something.

Look at him. Absolute sweetheart. He would absolutely want to include deaf or hard of hearing ppl.

★ Belphegor.

Ok so

I am going to be very fr with you

I believe Belphie would be the only monolingual (demon tongue "native") of the brothers

at most he would remember a few phrases of a few languages from back when he was an angel, but not any specifics

Like this dude has ZERO interest in human culture I cannot think he would sit down to (re)learn anything

he would fall asleep trying to learn human verbs actually

He only knows how to tell you to fuck off on 4 languages (/hj)

None which you speak. So that's kinda awkward

He doesn't know how to cast Loquar (nor has any interest in learning how)

Beel casts it for him if he needs it

He can and will deadass just remove the translator spell from you if you try to annoy/interact with him (except if Beel is who casts it on you).

(so Beel now also casts Loquar for you)

Begone >:(

[lovebugism]

Having a unserious argument with band AU!Eddie and there’s a moment where you both stare at each other and then his eyes flick down to ur lips. Which leads to you making out and forgetting about what the argument was about in the first place

bug's blurb sleepover (⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎)!

You knew the argument was stupid, but you also knew you were too mad to care. 

Like, otherworldly levels of mad. Levels that feel nearly unprecedented, even though you’re well aware it’s over something so damn mundane. 

Night of the Living Dead was playing at a drive-in in the same city the Corroded Coffin tour bus had parked in for the next few days. And Eddie wanted to take you. He said he’s wanted to take you out for weeks now, but your schedules just hadn’t allowed him the time to do so. 

His van hasn’t gotten much use in quite some time either. It’s just been dragging behind the tour bus and rusting more every time it rains. You, Gareth, and Jeff all told him that he wouldn’t have much time to drive it anywhere, but Eddie only said that “it broke his heart too bad to leave her behind.” 

Now, he’s glad that he didn’t. It’ll be good to take you for a drive in it, to roll the windows down and turn the radio all the way up, to watch you in between watching the road and pretend like you’re teenagers again.

And it was really cute, how excited he’d been to take you to see a film you’d both seen a thousand times over. “Taking you to a drive-in actually sounds super fun, babe, and I don’t even mean that in a pervy way. I just wanna spend time alone with you,” he’d told you before smirking. “Even though I won’t be opposed to a little heavy petting.”

It was real adorable. Until you started to get all philosophical about zombies, that is.

Eddie tried to tell you that zombies were still human after they turned. You scoffed when you disagreed, telling him that if that were the case, you wouldn’t have to use the word turned to describe them — that you wouldn’t even need the word zombies at all. 

He refused to listen to you, though, and kept on saying that they were “basically still humans but insane.”

And if you’d told yourself an hour or more ago that the two of you would be in a screaming match over this exact thing, you would’ve laughed. But now that it’s your reality, you’re absolutely fuming about it.

“They aren’t human anymore, Eds!” you argue in the confines of the bunk room, shielded only by the sliding door that does little to stifle your argument. You flail your hands around like crazy, eyes wide and glinting with annoyance. “It’s like a parasitic relationship! The zombie is just inhabiting the body of the dead human. Like a— I don’t know— like a fucking hermit crab or something.”

“They turn to zombies because they’re infected, right? Do you stop being a human because you get a little virus?” he retorts with a teasing lilt that only angers you more. “No! You don’t! It’s the same thing!”

“It’s not the same thing!” 

“Well, you obviously don’t know what you’re talking about it!”

“I know what I’m talking about, asshole! I’m just not gonna listen to a guy who failed senior year three times!” you shout back, obviously angry and irrational with it. 

You would’ve apologized for trying to hit him where it hurts if you saw that it had upset him in some way. But it doesn’t. Instead, he just keeps on teasing you.

“Ooh, you wanna kiss me so fucking bad,” he sing-songs to you, at you, with furrowed brows and lips set in a slight pout like a child.

That does little to quell your rage. Quite the opposite, really. He keeps dousing the fire in your chest with gasoline. You can feel the flames starting to prickle at your burning skin. But you make the mistake of flitting your gaze down to his mouth, only for half of a moment, but long enough for him to catch it. He grins, feeling like he’s won in some way.

“That’s okay, baby. You didn’t have to get all angry about it. If you wanted to kiss me, you coulda just said—”

“I hate you so fucking much,” you grumble to yourself, crossing your arms as you start to storm out of the room.

Eddie doesn’t let you get very far, though. His long legs rush the short distance over to you. He wraps two lanky arms around your frame and cages your own within his too tight embrace. You feel his chest rumble with the loud laugh that spills from his mouth, the breath of it on your skin when he noses at the junction between neck and shoulder.

“This is really fucking dumb,” he says with a hearty chuckle.

“Yeah, you are dumb, you’re right,” you monotone in return, not conceding to this imagined argument but not trying to squirm in his hold either.

“Hey! I’m trying to extend the olive branch here, alright?” 

“Whatever…”

He smacks a loud kiss on your shoulder and loosens his grip on you when he’s sure you’re not still angry enough to storm out. You are, though — still angry — but rather than leave, you turn around to face him. Your scowl is met with a beam from the boy ahead of you.

“We’ll just have to agree to disagree, alright, doll?” Eddie tells you with a shrug, trying his best to stop the argument without either of you having to admit you were wrong.

“I don’t know,” you lilt. “I think this might be a deal breaker for me, Eds.”

“Well, we certainly can’t have that…. What’ll happen to the band?” he teases.

You feign a sad sigh. “Guess you’ll have to find another bassist, Eds.”

“What can I do to make it up to you, doll? The fans’ll be real upset if the world’s best bassist is suddenly MIA.”

You purse your lips to the side and flit your eyes to the ceiling, pretending to think about his offer. Your attempt to ignore all the butterflies fluttering in your stomach is futile when he starts to rub his palms up and down your arm, in a soft and soothing rhythm. His touch quells your anger, puts out your fire without really even trying. No one can strike a flame within you, make it burn all big and bright, then douse it with cool, sparkling water quite like Eddie can.

It feels good not to be angry anymore. You’ll be able to laugh about it soon. 

Not now, though.

“Well, you’re going to take me to the drive-in tomorrow night and you’re gonna buy me all the snacks that I want—”

“I can do that,” he nods firmly.

“And halfway through the movie, I want to stop watching it and watch you while you eat me out in the back of your van—”

He sputters out a laugh. “I can definitely do that.”

“And until then, you’re gonna kiss me silly, Eddie Munson.”

The grin he flashes you then is no less teasing than it had been before, but it doesn’t make you nearly as angry. Instead, it makes you smile, too.

“I knew this was just a ploy to get me to makeout with you,” he lilts and presses the first of many kisses to the tip of your nose. “You don’t have to get all angry next time, alright? I’ll kiss you anytime you want.”

“Promise?” you wonder playfully, already knowing the answer. You just want to hear him say it.

“I can show you better than I can tell you,” he quips.

It takes no more than twenty seconds for him to get you into your bunk and squeeze in over top of you. In record time, he’s kissing you absolutely breathless — like he won’t be satisfied until he’s swallowed you whole. You want so desperately for him to. 

And if your mouth wasn’t kiss-bitten and half-numb, if your lungs weren’t screaming for air every time he kissed you, and your brain wasn’t aching for him to keep kissing you every time he stopped — you might’ve made some stupid joke. You would’ve teased him, told him how obedient he was to listen to you without question, just to drive him crazy.

But you can’t. Because he’s kissed you so insanely stupid, he’s the only thought in your head.

And if Eddie’s this perfect now — just moments after a stupid argument that had you both seeing red — you can’t imagine what he’ll be like tomorrow. As the rough pad of his tongue ruts against your own, you imagine how he’ll feel in between your legs when he’s got them bent over his shoulders in the back of his van.

[antimony-medusa]

Why do MultiFandom Exchanges Run on Don't Like: Don't Read?

I was writing that writeup about the amperslash exchange last night, and I realized that some people don't know this. So. Say you are running a multifandom exchange. You got a big amount of people sign up for it, there's like 84 people signed up, and they all nominated 3 fandoms, and there's a bunch of overlap, but you are stil looking at like 120 different fandoms. You have a big mod team, for an exchange that isn't Yuletide, cause there's two of you running this exchange. Do you think that you are intimately familiar with all of those fandoms?

I have been around the internet for a long time, and I know a lot of fandoms by sight, but let me tell you, I could not tell you on-sight which of the Mass Effect relationships are canonically (or even fanonically) considered to be toxic/abusive/problematic. If you are running a multifandom exchange, there is simply no viable way to know the network of these relationships in canon, much less once you consider in fandon stuff like "these people are commonly headcanoned as siblings".

So like, say you wanted to say "no abusive relationships?" or "no incest?" I've seen exchanges try to run with that rule. You are immediately vulnerable to people coming in and saying "oh these people are canonically related" when what happened is a queercoded relationship got translated as "cousins" in the english dub. Or they mean "he's like a brother to me" that gets used as family headcanon fodder. Or a relationship where people were enemies to lovers is presented as "abusive" because of their past. And then suddenly you, the mod team of two people, is poring over localization notes and clips and fanon essays instead of doing the hundred other things that an exchange needs. Even in MCYTblr, I am aware of a lot of lore, and I keep being surprised by things like people saying "oh empires and hermit false are canonically sisters", and I watched the empires crossover. It is simply not viable to keep up with which relationships might be toxic/problematic in every relationship in every fandom on the internet. AND you're faced with things like "well this apepars to be canonically okay, but fanon would say otherwise, so if we let it through, people are still gonna be mad/hurt because the fanon is so pervasive, but if we turn it down, people are gonna be mad because canonically it's fine, so—"

It's a moderating nightmare. So the only viable way forward is to say "we will let literally anything into the exchange, be warned that there might be stuff you find objectionable in the tag set, by participating you agree that even if you disagree you're not gonna harass anyone for it" and we go. But you do want to make sure that nobody has to write a relationship they have a problem with, right? Well, that's why the "you only have to write what you offered" rule. The way the matching works is you only match to what you offered, so if there are five ships you don't agree with and two you do in the tag set, you just offer your two, and then you'll be matched on the two.

You offer what you're comfortable with, and then the algorithm does its work, and then even if you match to someone who requested something you go "oh boy" to, everyone agrees to ignore everything they didn't match to, so you just put a sticky note over that part of the screen, and continue with the one relationship you do agree with that person on.

But how do you make sure that the person who thinks that this popular relationship is abusive (they hate it and wants them to break up) and the person who thinks this relationship is actually fine and hcs it as fluffy, and the person thinks it's bad but wants to watch them destroy each other hand in unloveable hand, all get what they want? There are 84 people in your exchange, it absolutely does not work to match fluff writers to fluff writers by hand.

That's when DNWs and defaults happen. Your DNW is everything you don't want to see, so the person who wants fluff can write down "I do not want toxic dynamics" and the person who wants them to break up can DNW "happy endings", and everyone will get a gift that matches their specifications. And defaults— that's for if you match on a relationship you like, but it turns out the person you requested only wanted canon-typical homophobia and unhappy endings, and you want fluff, so you can say "actually I can't write this", you send it back to the mods, they post it as a pitch hit, and it gets picked up by someone who can look at the whole request, go "yeah I can rock with some canon-typical homophobia and unhappy endings" and opt in specifically to the request.

The whole system is set up to try and balance "everything is welcome, we are not passing judgement on your fandom" (the dl:dr attitude about what's allowed in) and "you only have to opt in to anything, nobody gets forced to write something they don't like/agree with" (you only match on what you offered and requested, you can default if someone asks something you don't like). That's the exchange space standard.

And THAT is why matching in a big exchange is always an adventure, and that's why the entire exchange space has agreed, to make this whole thing we're doing together to work, to just go "that's not for me, but you do you" and just move on when they see something they don't personally vibe with.

[circesays]

A little fic inspired by Jimmy’s newest Empires video and a conversation with @anachronistic-cat about said lore implications! Enjoy! (Not related to my Cursed Toy AU, btw :D)

Jimmy wrung his hands as he slowly approached the house above, anxiously scanning his surroundings and keeping up his guard. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to turn to him.

(But this world and his friends have taught him that he rarely gets what he wants, and he has to lose to keep it. He still flinches when he remembers his friends, emperors and Hermits alike, surrounding him, throwing that damned potion and suddenly painpainpain and picking him up and tossing him around and forcing him to run-)

So here he is. Tiny, alone, and at the mercy of the very god that started this entire mess. He’s no toy, not really, yet he has a sinking feeling that this will not end well.

(But Fwhip had trapped him in a death loop. Fwhip has crushed him, shot him, felt joy at trapping him in one place and hurting his newest almost-deputy and friend and oh gods he hopes Scar is okay.)

“Joel!” Jimmy yelled, his voice confident and loud despite his smaller size (don’t think about that part- anything, anything else-).

“Well, well, well! If it isn’t my favorite toy sheriff! Come to play?”

And there he was. Standing at the top of the floating staircase, his wings shining silver and gold in the sunlight, and for just a moment, Jimmy remembered when Joel meant safety.

“I need your help.”

Joel smirked. “Really now?”

“Yes. Now are you going to help me or not?”

The god of lore laughed, casually making his way down the floating bits and pieces of terrain. He picked Jimmy up and held him in one hand. “Come this way, and tell me all about your little problem.”

(Hook.)

Jimmy frowned, shaking his head, but acquiesced and did not complain. He couldn’t afford to, not with his citizens and deputies at risk.

“Fwhip’s gone mad. He trapped me in a death loop, he hurt Scar, and he’s insisting that I’m not right as Sheriff anymore. I don’t…”

(He hesitated because admitting this meant weakness. Meant he couldn’t do this alone. But you’re supposed to share burdens with friends, so Jimmy mustered his strength.)

“I don’t want my citizens getting caught up in the crossfire. And being Sheriff protects my town. Will you help me stop Fwhip?”

They’ve stopped under the Eye of Stratos, the arch above gleaming in the morning sun.

Joel let Jimmy glide off his shoulder and onto the railing.

“Okay. I’ll make sure Fwhip stops. But you have to do something for me in return.”

“…what is it?”

(Line.)

Joel grins, a full-blown, feral thing, and laughs.

“Why, admit you’re a toy, of course!”

Jimmy grit his teeth and shook his head sharply.

“Absolutely not! Out of all the stupid requests- no gunpowder? Alliances?”

“All I want is for you to admit you’re a toy, Jimmy. One little sentence. “I admit that I’m a toy.” Can’t be that hard? All for your town?”

And the Sheriff… he hesitated again. Because the consequences would be dire. He could feel it, every time a new friend teased him or called him a toy.

(He knew he couldn’t come back from this one. But wouldn’t it be worth it, to make sure his friends and citizens were safe? That he was safe?)

A quiet, gentle nod. “Okay.”

(Sinker. And little did Jimmy know, but many of the emperors and Hermits were hidden around the Eye, cameras rolling and muffling giggles, Fwhip and Scar included. This was a better show that they expected! Getting Jimmy to admit he was a toy on camera!)

Jimmy carefully hopped down to the bridge, and closed his eyes. “At least promise me you’ll make sure Norman and Flick are taken care of?”

“What?” Joel replied, confused and suddenly off guard. “Why? I mean I’ll do it but I don’t get why you’re asking?”

Jimmy looked the god in the eyes and smiled.

“I, Jimmy, admit that I am a toy.”

(And there was a pause of silence before the laughter erupted, friends emerging out of hiding places and blowing up the chat. He finally said it!)

And then Jimmy started screaming.

It was a piercing sound, loud and overwhelming and painful. He’d fallen to his knees, his hands on his face, tears slipping between knuckles that were visibly changing. His wails died down slowly and painfully, punctuated by cracking and snapping.

And the others rushed to him, babbling, calling his name in fear, but it was too late.

As silence fell, Jimmy straightened up. His joints and wings were made of wood, his eyes dull and painted, his hair woolen. But the most painful part of all was his smile.

(His mouth was stitched into a smile, everlasting and never falling. After all, toys are meant to be happy!)

“Hello!”

“…Jimmy?” Fwhip whispered, horrified.

Without a beat, the Sheriff turned to face his deputy. “Ah, deputy Fwhip! Hello! I didn’t see you there!”

(Smiling, smiling, smiling, he was so cheerful, what had happened what was wrong?)

“You were screaming,” Sausage uttered numbly, unable to comprehend what was happening. It was just supposed to be a joke.

“Silly Sausage! Toys don’t scream and cry in pain,” replied the Sheriff with a chipper voice.

“Timmy, knock it off, this isn’t funny!”

“Hm? What do you mean, Grian?”

Parrot wings puffed up in agitation.

(Canary wings remained motionless and still, hanging limply off his back. Toys don’t really fly, after all. They fall with style!)

Everyone present looked at each other, unable to figure out what to do.

What had they done?

…

(I’m gonna be honest this started with just the first angsty part but I’m way too soft to leave this on an angsty open end so I added more lol. If you just wanted the angst, this is where this ends. But here’s a lil Team Rancher fluffy end thingy:)

Finally, after a long pause, yelling was heard in the distance as a newcomer flew in.

“Jimmy! Guys! Where are you?”

Tango spotted the group and swooped down to land dramatically, grinning all the while. His grin quickly faded when he took in the pale and haunted expressions on his friends’ faces.

“Huh? Guys? What’s wrong?”

“Oh hello my Rancher!”

Tango looked down to take in the scene, and his face lit up with delight. “Jimjam? What’s up with you? Why are you so small?”

“I’m a toy! I’ve always been small!”

The smile dropped. “You’ve always insisted you’re not a toy, though.”

“But I am! See?”

Jimmy went to pull at his joints and Tango lunged to stop him with a very on-brand squawk-meep sound. “Nononono no need for a demonstration!”

Tango turned to Joel.

“Fix him.”

“What? How?! How do you expect me to fix this?!”

“You got him into this mess when you said he was a toy. Tell him he’s not a toy and everything should go back to normal, right?”

And Joel clearly hesitated, because it was funny. Of course it was funny, teasing Jimmy always was!

(But his friends were now looking at him, and this was his fault, and his brother in all but blood was smiling and distant and looked dead-)

“You’re not a toy, Jimmy. I was wrong.”

And Jimmy glowed softly. But it wasn’t enough. So Sausage stepped forward with a big anxious grin.

“Yeah you’re a normal avian!”

The others began to join in.

“Sorry, Timmy.”

“Please come back.”

“You’re a great Sheriff.”

“You’re not a toy!”

With each apology, Jimmy glowed brighter and brighter, until, with a flash he was just a normal avian again. Tango giggled in delight and swooped him into his arms, princess style. Jimmy was fast asleep.

And everyone cheered.

~

Jimmy woke up in a soft bed, surrounded by fluff and next to someone radiating heat. Lazily, he cracked open his eyes to take in the room.

It was Tango’s room, in the Ranch. The yellow blankets and Tango’s heat protected them from the worst of the desert cold. A glance out the window told Jimmy it was early dawn.

“Tango,” he whispered, poking the grumbling netherborn. “Tango wake up.”

Tango’s eyes fluttered open, taking in Jimmy’s clear chocolate eyes before he shot awake with a whoop, startling Jimmy so badly that the avian almost launched himself off the bed with his wings.

“Jimmy! You’re awake!”

“Well yeah that’s generally what someone does in the morning- what’s going on? Last I remember I was… at Joel’s?”

Tango frowned. “You’ve been asleep for like, a whole day and a half now. You turned into a toy, remember?”

(And Jimmy does remember. He remembers screaming, trapped in the depths of his mind, watching his friends finally finally realize what they were doing is wrong and they tricked him!)

“Woah, slow down there cowboy, it’s okay now, I’m here buddy.”

And Jimmy could vaguely feel the frustrated tears rolling down his face as he clung to his soulmate and sobbed. He was finally free.

“They promised to drop the bit. Fwhip, Pix, and Joel already took down the walls, along with half of the Hermits. And Shelby left some healing potions downstairs if you needed them. They care, Jimmy, they do. I’m sorry it took so long for them to get their heads outta their butts.”

And Jimmy laughed, and Tango grinned, and it would all be okay.

[leiflitter]

now that i’ve asked you about regular head canons, give me your after oxford before you’re almost home headcanons, like what happened directly after the maze and such

Ahh so some of THAT will be going up in YAH so... there are no spoilers, and some of this has been mentioned so- under the cut time again my friend

Felix spent about 4ish months in a very expensive private clinic, but as always, he escaped major conequences because He Is Lucky.

He was also a major, major twat for the next term before his summer holidays. People still wanted to be around him, but he was calling people fake and kept leaving nights out and going back to his dorm and generally being a big emotional wreck. Felix did not understand why he did this, but he did it anyway! Hooray!

He always had to be facing the door in any pub/club/cafe/wherever because he was absolutely gearing up for some Big Confrontation With Oliver, except he never saw Oliver, so he was mad about that too.

Because his parents had wrangled him Special Treatment, he absolutely went a bit nocturnal.

Farleigh eventually told Elspeth that Felix was clearly Not Over Summer, and she planned their big summer tour/felix to Bali because she couldn't actually FACE it.

He listened to a lot of my chem and cried a lot and couldn't have said why if you'd asked him.

For Oliver? He was literally on tenterhooks until he found out that Felix survived. We're talking didn't eat, barely slept, roared through the summer reading list and barely came out of his bedroom. His parents were worried he was on drugs.

He left as soon as he could after Felix was found; he thought about taking the red robe with him but he was shaking too hard to pack properly. He did steal some little things (Felix's toothbrush, soap, a feather from the wings) that wouldn't be missed. He walked to the station. It took about an hour.

He found out Felix survived through a mass text sent by one of the minor Alpha Hotties about signing a Get Well Soon card for him.

Oliver absolutely reverted back to invisibility so hard the moment he was on campus. Farleigh MIGHT have seen him, but he's not telling.

He only cried after Christmas and he was in a new bedroom and a new college and finally able to guarantee he was alone.

Oliver legitimately did nothing except Study Hard for the next... Way too long, to be honest. He avoided the library apart from first thing in the morning. His parents paid for him to stay in Oxford over holidays, because he said he needed to. He got his degree a year early because he literally turned into a hermit.

He stopped reading the Society Pages when he saw the wedding announcement for Felix and Lucia- he didn't even get to Lucia's name before he tore it to shreds and had a very quiet breakdown before continuing with his work.

It took him a good nine years to acknowledge that, yes, he actually love-loved Felix. His therapist was very pleased, but Oliver was not.

[dballzposting]

What Yajirobe does all day up there in Korin's tower is one of the biggest mysteries in dragon ball and so that's why I'm glad that in DBS they showed us that they play limbo

Korin definitely has found ways to pass the time because he's lived there for thousands of years probably and I'm not really curious about what he's up to. He's doing Korin things. Mind your business

When I was watching dragom ball I remember loving so much what I was seeing with those two but I was never able to really put into words what I was seeing .. I'm going to try but I'm going to miss a lot so please use your own heart and memory skillz to rember how awesome dragom ball was okkkk.. ❤

Why did that beautiful user draw him licking that damn cat. That was so (as one blessed user wrote in the tags:) Evocative.

I've since found out that TeamFourStar had some... interesting takes when portraying those two so I suppose that the madness of intimacy between them is not a new thing to many people... but it was NEWS TO ME so let me throw my hat in the ring a minute ...

I definitely don't think that they become how TFS did it and I definitely don't think that they settle like an old married couple.

But does he lick that cat?

Loose collection of extensive thoughts (6500 WORDS) about Yajirobe and Korin:

Master Korin is an old hermit. Like any old wise hermit, he's a crazy bitch. Hes got his idiosyncrasies. But by-and-by he can hold his own and is much more balanced and stable than some other hermits out there.

Before Goku, the last person he had up there was Roshi, like... 800 years ago? I think that was the number.

Hes been up there for probably Thousands of years. Being a hermit.

WHAT'S HE DO? He stands around. He watches Earth. He naps. He grooms. He meditates. He stays sharp. He reads little books probably (fun books). Probably has a flowerbed he waters. Makes little origami figures maybe. Weird sculptures. One pebble at a time.

Doesn't really matter.

Hes a sensible fellow. He's got good advice and he's got astute eyes. I think that when Roshi was up there for three years, he got comfortable enough to start pulling out the nudie mags (back then they weren't magazines but drawings). And Master Korin would BOP him on the head with his stick - telling him that he will never be a great warrior with a distracted mind, that he will never have a pure heart if he continues on like this-!

Korin wont allow filth like that up there. Classy depictions are one thing but lewd obsessions are another. And he tells Roshi to throw the drawings away. And well Roshi doesn't. He just hides them.

And eventually we absolutely get to the point where Korin will look at them too. Yes yes very nice. Woah. WOAH. Hand me that one there. WOAH! Eloquent handiwork here. Impressive. Nice. Very nice.

And then Korin hits him on the head and tells him again to dispose of them.

Korin wont allow that filth up there except he totally will and does. It's more than that "he doesnt give a shit" - hes a wise old hermit and he knows better than to try to control the flow of life. So he has a lot of grace when it comes to accepting events and other people's natures. When Roshi first arrived, he wouldn't tolerate it because Roshi was there to train and could still be saved. But after a while it became clear that Roshi was going to keep looking at those sexy drawings, and Korin isn't interested in the unrest of endless animosity. He says his two-cents and he will keep saying it but he cannot afford to keep getting angry. He cannot afford to lose his composure every time. This is just the way it is. And he bops Roshi on the head with his stick about it. And he isn't surprised when Roshi keeps pulling the drawings out again.

He sighs about it and shakes his head and mutters. He still cares enough to do that. He isn't a zen buddhist about it or anything. He isn't too fatalistic. He does work towards a better world.

About that better world ... He will work towards it, but he also is perceptive enough to know when to give up. For example, he admitted after Goku defeated Piccolo that he didn't really think that Goku could have really done that. He let Goku try because ... That's Goku's will, and because, well, it's a nice thought, isn't it? But if Goku had died, Korin would not have been surprised. He was willing to accept the inevitable.

But he didn't admit that until after. During, he cared enough to go against the odds and to aid the cause of good. Korin is a wise old hermit who knows how to read the tide but he DOES play a team - the side of virtue, unequivocally. Hes got opinions.

Korin doesn't just let any bastard up there and and he absolutely has standards. Hes a little bit snarky or feisty because hes an OLD CAT! But hes also pretty reasonable. And he can be nice enough.

When Yajirobe first showed up there, Korin was accommodating. And he was even impressed by his strength.

And later he tried to offer him tea. Becasue that's what you do when you have company.

And we see them talk a few times in filler shots. And they're both chill about it.

OK wait there was one scene that was so funny where Korin was telling Goku about how one has to be pure of heart in order to go see Kami-Sama. And how Goku fit those qualifications perfectly. UNLIKE YAJIROBE

^ he just went out of his way to YELL at him like this ... CHECK OUT HIS FANGS. ME-OWCH!

That's Korin. He's got quick eyes. He knew to yell at Yajirobe. He knew that Yajirobe deserved it

Yajirobe was only there because he had to bring Goku up there (twice). Okay sidebar

YAJIROBE:

He shows up in the story when it has taken an abysmal turn. A nosedive toward devastation. And we're following Goku who has snapped out of shape from circumstance. And we're watching him navigate this. And navigate he does becasue he is still alive. And it's bizarre, becasue we're seeing something that usually isn't in stories; usually stories are what is dramatically satisfying, stories have direction. But at this point in the narrative, Goku is just ... alive. He almost died. Hes starving and trying to do something about it, lest wait for death. Krillin is still dead. What's to be done, but to....do. it's.....peaceful, in a harrowing way. Unobserved. And then Enter Yajirobe. Hes not a diamond in the rough necessarily, but we are definitely digging around in the rough, or you could even say we're in the shitter at this point- and hes no diamond, but he's more than dirt. He's a shard of obsidian in the rough, maybe. Hes something. And we find him and we're still in the rough.

To elaborate further: this little dip in the story speaks of survival and persistence. Bear with me. When it comes to Yajirobe and Goku's character, there is between them an interesting tango of physical health VS higher moral spirit. First, because this part of the story is a flagging physical existence underscoring an absence of higher hope, we meet the hedonistic, physically adroit, and survival-minded Yajirobe to attend to that necessary foundation. This is a virtue that Yajirobe offers our hero now, and later on too as their characters progress through difference scenes (more on that later). This simple Yajirobe contrasts with the pure-hearted Goku who struggles to retain his character in the overwhelming mess of his enraged and wounded spirit, but through this Goku must also find a way to persist (this isn't resolved until Mr Popo beats that attitude out of him). So Yajirobe's character first teaches of treating the most basic realm (physical survival which extends into persistence of being), and then highlights through contrast the extent of our hero's honor and prowess (which, you could take as a direct contrast, or you could take as a comparison, saying that emotional/spiritual expression and sustenance is just as key for survival as saving your skin is; persistence of being is resilience of character). Yajirobe's debut being at this miserable point in the story is what creates his character for us - the shining obsidian in the rough. He's a survivor.

He is able to keep up with Goku. He swims as fast as he and runs as fast as he. When they fight each other they both remark in their heads that this is one of the strongest guys that they've ever faced (Goku had kicked him with his full strength and Yajirobe stood back up all the same...!). And he eats Cymbal like it's no big deal, against even Goku's protests.

we receive no indication that Yajirobe has received any formal training. It seems that Yajirobe has acquired his abilities by just .. practice. Out here Livin it. He got that katana from somewhere but he's just out here surviving.

The wikis identify him as the ronin (masterless samurai) archetype, right down to his outfit. This is awesome.

He is truly built different. He's fully human and entirely different. He's selfish but not malignantly. He's oriented toward his own safety, survival, and comfort, and he allocates all of his resources toward these goals, and in this he is effective: he doesn't waste time procrastinating or playing the hero (WITH SOME NOTABLE EXCEPTIONS..!!!!) He's built different and doesn't need or WANT friends. He doesn't want to be bothered. He wants the freedom to be alone. If he wanted to settle down in one area then he would have built a house. But he hasn't, presumably because before long a mailman would find him and connect him to a greater society. So Yajirobe is just out here hunting and sleeping and staying on the move. He's completely happy and self-actualized to do so.

Yajirobe can be lazy and cowardly but still, not quite ... to be cowardly implies you are going against your greater want or virtue. He never intends to be anything but SAFE, so he's not cowardly, just smart and goal-oriented. To be lazy implies that aspects of your life suffer because you don't put any resources toward them - and he never intends to be anything but well-rested and content, so hes not lazy, just comfortable. Furthermore: Yajirobe doesn't put off hard work when it's in his path. He doesn't procrastinate. He really does want to make his life enjoyable, so he doesn't burden himself by half-assing something multiple times. He saves himself the resources and the headache by doing it right the first time. If he has to swim an ocean, he'll do it. If he has to run for miles, he'll do it. If he has to fight a dinosaur until it's dead, he'll do it. He is indeed effective. He doesn't like to waste his own breath, but he is not afraid to use it to max capacity if the results will be worth it. And when he was trying to outrun Goku to earn some damn peace and quiet (and to retain the one-star ball), he was truly willing to run for this, until he found a cart of hay bumping along a lonely road. Then he was like SCORE and took a nap on it and let it move him along for him. It was definitely much more slow then running, but it was comfy, and convenient, and Yajirobe is opportunistic that way. HE WONT WASTE A CHANCE TO SLEEP!

Yajirobe is really good at securing his own survival. In DBS, in the bad future timeline, he survives like a cockroach! He really is just built different. He's a beautiful bastard

Again I want to comment on his appearance in the story ... Even when shit gets crazy and you don't think that you could sink any lower, you could always meet a guy with a katana who is HUGELY skilled when compared to the general populace but you didn't know about him because he didn't want to be found. That is always possible. Anythinf is possible

He does what he must and he takes rests when he can and he defends his own and he hides from the bullshit and he is CONFIDENT in all of this. He doesn't cut corners, and everything he does, he does with conviction. If he shows up late, he's not late - he showed up exactly when he meant to. If he doesn't want to do something, he won't. You could always try to convince him of course and you might succeed with a compelling enough argument or incentive (Ex: he didn't throw the baby Trunks out of the window because he didn't want to invoke Vegeta's ire. Ex: He'll do anything for a Yajirobe Snack in fact that's why he climbed Korin's tower for the first time), and that's all good and fine. He wont act like his mind wasn't changed if it was. Well he may try to fight against it due to an internal conflict of interest but who doesn't hedge a bit at times like that ... Whatever he does or doesn't do, he wont feel shame. He womt feel shame. He wont feel shame.

Yajirobe doesn't know shame. This is key. Well actually more astutely he doesn't know embarrassment. Embarrassment is inherently a social thing, and he just doesn't subscribe to it. He doesn't CARE if he does what's unexpected or rude. He does exactly as he intends to for whatever reason he has. He doesn't care how he fits into a general society! He'd be more angry than embarrassed if you forsake him in a social faux pas context. He doesn't feel that much shame either, but that's not necessarily a social thing, and he can feel it sometimes. If he fails to honor himself adequately he would feel shame, I think, as his one priority is always to protect number 1 (himself). Sometimes that shame may come from losing a fight, or not hiding well enough, or being stupid enough to get involved - and other times, not honoring himself means not acting on the nagging pull in his chest to INTERVENE and DO SOMETHING. I mean, he can handle a lot of life at once - he lives here, and he knows how to earn his keep here, and he has the right to be curious and hover around fights, and he has the right to have opinions about it.

He's always standing around and crossing his arms protectively and responding with animosity .... hes always making snap judgements that are completely true ... he doesn't care who you are or what your name is. You can't talk to him that way.

Yajirobe represents something special to me .... he represents an organism who is successful in being with itself and standing up for itself. Convincingly. I think that that's so beauriful and importsnt ...

Ok anyway.

So Yajirobe ascends Korin's tower becasue Goku is beaten to shit and he tells Yajirobe that theres beans up there and so Yajirobe commits to this tower. And he totally makes it. And when he gets up there Korin is impressed at how Yajirobe climbed the entire tower with Goku on his back.

And then later after Goku defeats Piccolo Daimao for real, Yajirobe carts his ass up there AGAIN and if I recall he just did that out of his own volition. WHY? BECASUE IT WAS A MATTER OF SURVIVAL. He serves those sorts of imperatives.

Yajirobe intervened two other notable times earlier in the story for the sake of Goku's survival: 1.) When he swiped his cadaver from the scene of the first Piccolo Daimao battle and revived him in a river, and 2.) When he tried very very VERY hard to convince Goku to NOT drink that super special water that was most likely poison but would possibly make Goku stronger. The latter example felt less like a character caring about the death of another and more about a debate of greater philosophical importance, like they were discussing the true rules of the world: must one put their life on the line to free their soul, or is it always better to be rational about the preservation of one's physical health? This scene was the culmination of Yajirobe's purpose in the story.

Worth mentioning: When Goku did ascend to Kami's Lookout, we get a scene where Yajirobe is sitting on the railing of Korin's tower and staring up into the sky. He admits that he's looking up because he feels like Goku might fall down at any second, and he wants to be there to catch him if he does.

^That's what I was referring to earlier when I said that Yajirobe offers Goku the much-needed virtue of survival and that there would be "more on that later." Goku is always meeting different characters who teach him different skills or perspectives, and at this late point in the story, you would expect that he meet another wise hermit type who is truly above and beyond. But instead we go backwards and touch base again with the most basic of necessities, and it's applicable in context because Goku's spirit is so wounded and confused by grief that he needs that physical anchor as to not lose himself entirely. He's Goku though and quickly reorients himself and is able to apply that virtue of persistence to all of him, and his argument trumps the unambitious Yajirobe's as the purpose of the story.

Anyway. Back to the point of my post...

As you know, Yajirobe stays in Korin tower for forever and ever. He attends the 23rd Budokai, in DBZ he trains with Kami, he hangs around during the first Vegeta battle, he delivers the Senzu Beans and then stays at Capsule Corp for the remainder of the Android Arch - ETC. But by and by. For the most part. We see him up there in that damn tower with that damn cat eating those damn Senzus!

It's no big mystery by now:

Yajirobe avoids hassle and wants to be comfortable. It's safe up in Korin's Tower. Very removed. Very quiet. There is only one (1) other guy up there and he's not THAT annoying. He mostly just waters the plants and grooms himself out in the open and takes cat naps. And when Yajirobe first sees Korin licking his little furry cat balls out in the open like that, he thinks in his head: "That's disgusting. I would never do that." But then two years up in Korin's Tower later and how do YOU think that Yajirobe is bathing?? :cry laughing emoji:

So ... Why does Master Korin LET him stay? Let's break it down:

As mentioned at the beginning of the post, Korin likes to hang out in a place of agreeable temperament. He won't turn rude for fickle reasons. He likes tea and naps and peace. Yajirobe likes those things too and spends most of his time advocating for those things.

Korin is a Crazy Old Hermit Cat Bitch. Completely insane. He's petty and all of his reasons are fickle but he doesn't think that they are. Like any good old hermit, he has no qualms with YELLING at Yajirobe. He can handle Yajirobe. He probably bites him

Korin is first and foremost an old martial artist hermit. He subscribes to a greater harmony in and with the world. His role, and only role, is to assess those who are worthy. While Goku is at Kami's Lookout and Yajirobe stays behind with Korin, Korin tells Yajirobe that he will never ride Kinto-un. I mean anybody could have ascertained that but it's uniquely Korin's role to tell him that. But Korin doesn't just sit idly by. He wants to instill virtue in the next generation of warriors. He keeps certain secrets and skills away from evil hands, and he does what he can for the side of good. And Yajirobe is some young punk who is clearly worthy in strength to scale that tower twice with Goku on his back in such a short time, but is of a wretchedly bound spirit. And Korin is a mischievous little cat hermit bitch and can't help but to see potential, or even a game when there is one: he's not going to turn down this opportunity to try to turn virtuous this bastard soul, whether subtly or not.

Furthermore: Yajirobe isn't evil. Korin can't bring himself to banish someone who isn't truly evil and who has scaled the tower with his own discipline.

Over time it becomes clear that Yajirobe isn't changing and Korin has to accept him as a person and not as a student, and honestly that's great because Korin is kind of lazy too ... He didn't want to be training this whole time like DAMN. FINALLY he can just CHILL... Yajirobe's virtue is NOT Korin's problem and that's such a relief. And eventually Korin becomes content to just watch Golden Girls DVDs with Yajirobe. Because Korin is a cat who appreciates sleepy time with a warm body.

Korin Can't Kick Him Out if he Wanted To becasue Yajiorbe is just going to Keep Coming Back because the Peace and Solitude is too Tempting and well Who is Korin to Deny Fate its Sick Little Games

And don't think that Korin doesn't mess with Yajiorbe becasue he absolutely does. He'll walk up his back and use him as a ladder. Or he'll put a flagon of ale on his stick and make Yajiorbe try to catch him for it. I truly cannot figure out if Yajirobe would give up when it becomes arduous becasue he doesnt want to waste his energy being mocked, or if he keeps at it becasue He Wants That Ale God Damnit. But wither way it'd be fun for at least 30 minutes.

So. Ummmmmmm.

Back to the thesis. DOES HE LICK THAT CAT?

Well...

I will say that I do think that they both keep a respectful physical distance for a while. Out of courtesy for themselves. Korin is a self-respecting cat hermit who is too wise to be trifled with and who doesn't want anything to mess up his fur. Yajirobe is a self-respecting vagabond who knows that his body is a temple and who won't tolerate arbitrary annoyances done to it.

I will say however that early on we have that scene where Yajirobe was stashing Senzu Benas on his person and Korin saw the lump in his clothes and thought that Yajirobe was hiding a tasty treat. And it's Korin's damn tower and he wants those damn treats so he PUT HIS PAWS ON HIM and TORE HIS CLOTHES OPEN. Very rude. Screenshots below

CHECK OUT HIS CLAWS IN THE SECOND ONE.

Korin is a QUICK read of character (of course he is...!) and after only knowing Yajirobe for a few days he KNEW that if he was stashing anything it was yummy food...! He was so sure of it and he so wanted it for himself that he tore his clothes off for it. He's such a crazy bitch

This is not a good example of them respecting the other's personal space but my sense is that it's becasue this is right at the beginning and the dynamic of Korin being a wise hermit and Yajirobe being an irreverent youth is apparent. Korin can put his paws on him. He can do what he wants. It's his tower. And Yajirobe is just some kid.

But I'm arguing that this dissolves over time. Yajirobe stays over the years and he DOESN'T CHANGE. He MATURES but he doesn't CHANGE. He lives his whole life that way and at some point you have to start taking him seriously, right? And Korin is not keen on blatantly disrespecting people. He's a reasonable guy. He respects others' free will and he respects their decisions.

He'll judge you, but he'll accept you. He won't expect anything from you other than what's wonted for you.

So he and Yajiorbe sleep on opposite sides of the tower because neither really wants to burden themselves with getting too close. They are exactly like diplomatic roommates. They eat meals together, they chat, they argue, but they have none of the obligations of intimacy. They are not responsible for or are interested in the other one's feelings.

And it continues this way for as long as it's due. But you know that Yajiobe is up there for literal years. And that there's not much to do up there but to interact with the only other bloke there.

OK LISTEN: A bit of a sidebar but not really because it is deathly relevant: They've always spoken candidly with each other. Neither of them are ever changing. Korin because he's already so old and this is just who he is and Yajiorbe because he's already perfect. And on DAY ONE they both got a read on the other's character that holds up TO THIS DAY.

PLEASE LISTEN: They both formulated opinions about the other on DAY ONE that never change. They never change becasue they are already dead accurate. Both are living authentically and both are students of nature in their own ways and both are incredibly perceptive for it - Korin KNEW that Yajirobe would never give him anything more than the spoken "-sama" and a courteous physical distance, he KNEW that he would never ride Kinto-un, he KNEW that he was somebody that you need to just YELL AT in order to get through to - and Yajiorbe KNEW that Master Korin was a crazy cat bitch, he KNEW that he was full of mystical shit, he KNEW that he was unreasonable in the way that everybody in the world except Yajirobe is.

No matter what time, no matter how long they've known each other - if you go up to visit it will go the same way. You're standing there talking to Master Korin and having a pleasant chat. Then he thinks to say something to Yajirobe, or to get his attention, or even to summon him or what have you - and he interrupts your perfectly pleasent mild-mannered chat to turn his head and YELL in some direction. Throws his arms back and YELLS. Attaching pic for reference

Just completely goes from sweet-old-grandpa to HARSH-YELLING-THAT-PROBABLY-HURTS-THE-THROAT.

He goes like

"YAJIROBI!"

and says it with an "i" and not an "e" becasue that's how he mispronounces his name in the Japanese dub.

And Yajiorbe obviously doesn't enter the room or anything. You hear banging from the kitchen and Yajirobe yells back

"WHAT?"

And Korin yells back and Yajiorbe yells back and this is how they do it. Yelling back and forth like somebody's sweet old grandparents who completely hate each other.

Let me freestyle something hold on

"GET OUT HERE WE HAVE A GUEST"

"AND WHY'RE YOU SCREAMING AT THEM FOR??"

"I'M SCREAMING AT YOU YOU DIM-WITTED BASTARD. GET OUT HERE SO THAT I CAN STOP"

"YOU COME IN HERE! I'M MAKING DINNER!"

"WELL STEP AWAY FOR A MOMENT AND COME MIND YOUR MANNERS!"

"YOU MIND YOURS AND I'LL MIND MINE! I'M MAKING DINNER!"

"WHAT?"

"I SAID I'M MAKING DINNER!"

"YAJIROBI! GET OUT HERE!"

"YOU DEAF ALREADY?"

"YOU KEEP MAKING ME YELL LIKE THIS AND IT WON'T BE LONG!"

"WHO'D'YOU THINK YOU ARE, BOSSING ME AROUND IN FRONT OF THE GUEST?"

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU UNGRATEFUL FREELOADER!"

"FREELO- I WAS GOING TO SHARE, BUT YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN DINNER!"

"MAKE IT FOR THREE, BECAUSE WE HAVE A GUEST!"

"WHO'S HERE ANYWAY?"

"IT'S GOKU?"

"WHO?"

"GOKU!"

"OH!"

[Sound of clutter and clanging. Enter YAJIROBE carrying a mixing bowl. He is stirring it with a wooden spoon.]

"Hey Goku, long time no see!"

END SCENE.

Anyway.

So That's Yajirobe and Korin. They perfectly read and completely accept the other. Neither modifies his own behavior or hamstrings himself in any way for the sake of coexisting with the other. This is just who they are. And it works out.

For decades.

I want to point out that when their relationship advances to new tiers of depth or intimacy, it must not be thought of in that manner. There are no "tiers" and we are not "advancing." They are both objective and no-nonsense people. As such, the progression of their relationship is by nature without a shred of suspense.

There are no subtle desires that are held onto until deemed appropriate to express; there are no reality-checks that yield results that startle.

They keep their space because they want to. They talk because they want to. They play games becasue they want to. Korin will claw up Yajirobe's back rather than walking up him horizontally (a known ability that he has) when using him as a ladder because he wants to. They sleep in the same space because they want to. They cuddle because they want to.

It's a long time until they cuddle like cats, but pointing it out in any manner that may evoke the word "eventually" is already giving it too much prominence. Understand that it's a gradual thing like all things and does not matter in the slightest.

ARE THEY SELF-AWARE ABOUT THIS? Yes and no.

Yajirobe doesn't care enough to do self-reflection about shit like that. One day he was barely trusted to water the Senzu plants and another day he was touching the cat's toe beans. So what. They still yelled at each other to SHUT UP every day in between. What's changed, and why does it matter? Yajirobe attaches no importance to gestures of intimacy or camaraderie - he just appreciates warmth and comfort. He trusts that cat to cuddle up and take good naps with him. All is well. So what?

Master Korin definitely meditates about the state of the world and is so aware about everything. So he is aware each and every day what is going on between he and Yajirobe. He knows when he settles down to groom that this is the first time in hundreds of years that he has settled into the crook of someone's bent elbow or neck. He knows it. And he doesn't care. Why should he? It's a fact, an event, like all things. It's nice. It's comfortable. Yajirobe can be trusted to respect his boundaries and to interact with his body in a manner that is acceptable and predictable. In the spirit of being sensible, for the cause of engaging with a greater unity - the path of least resistance right now is napping with Yajirobe.

So that's that.

Take a water break my dear ... I'm not done with you yet.

They do respect each other's personal space. But there is a point where Yajirobe picks up that damn cat.

DETAILS ON THE EVENT OF YAJIROBE PICKING UP THAT DAMN CAT:

That cat is a crafty son of a bitch and he can MOVE. His training with Goku was facilitated through Goku trying to catch him.

And Yajirobe isn't keen on grabbing that cat gratuitously. He has definitely taken many passes at him however when they play / "train" / Korin is being a nuisance on purpose and Yajirobe has had enough (like when he was tempting him with that flagon of ale and eventually Yajiorbe DOES capture that cat...)

And if one is in the other's way: Korin will just walk up and over Yajirobe (which Yajirobe HATES), and Yajirobe will either punt the cat out of the way or yell at him to move (both of which Korin HATES. Especially the kicking. It always starts arguments).

But listen. There is a point where picking up that cat becomes the path of least resistance. It will garner the least resentment and spend the least amount of time.

We get to the point where if Yajirobe is standing up at the stove trying to make his own damn dinner and that damn cat is in the way, he'll just. Pick him up and move him.

Like if Korin were blocking the flour cupboard and Yajirobe was trying to make a roux for the max and cheese then he would just. Pick up the cat. And move him somewhere else.

And Korin would be all like RRREEAAAQHQHJ like a cat does, but when he's set down he's fine. It didnt take long. He wasnt held or airborne long. Obviously it's startling to be GRABBED and FORCIBLY RELOCATED but it's over soon enough and hes cool as soon as it's over.

But still. If he didnt want to be picked up, then why did he let it happen? Couldnt he have darted out of the way?

HOW is Yajirobe able to pick up the cat?!:

On some level Korin knows that it's not a big deal. And that it's just Not Worth the energy expenditure to get away. Like how pigeons walk rather than fly away because it takes a lot of energy for lift-off: Korin COULD dart away, but he doesn't care too. He has a reason for blocking the flour cupboard (doing something, just chilling, I don't know) and he's not gonna abandon it so quickly just to prevent Yajirobe's grubby hands from touching his fur. Yajirobe isn't a big deal. Hes been there for years. He doesn't matter. And though it's an affront to be grabbed and moved, it doesn't actually take long, and Korin doesn't have to actually do anything, and he is free to express himself during, so hes not really being inconvenienced much. Deep down he knows this.

Yajirobe has gained some speed and precision during his time here. I suppose this isn't relevant here because it's not like hes trying very hard to grab the cat, but it's worth mentioning. He can be precise. He just grabs the cat. See Yajirobe didn't come here to train but like I've been saying Korin is a bit whimsical and mischievous so he's gotten his hermit due and has sharpened Yajirobe's abilities by little gambits and whatnot.

So yknow we do get to the point where A.) Korin is comfortable/trusting enough to have his guard down (and Yajirobe is not a big deal or difficult to have around) and B.) Yajirobe's movements can be hard to read/catch/predict sometimes.

WHY does he pick up the cat?!:

Yajirobe is no-nonsense and he doesn't like to waste his own time. He relocates the cat, and he does it right the first time. He's not gonna be all like "Move it furball" and then have to keep saying that because Korin moved to a random spot that is still in Yajirobe's way but just in a different way. He knows where he needs the cat and so he puts him there.

This is efficacy in the form of keeping the peace. Yajirobe doesn't care if he disrespects Korin, and when he does he means nothing by it; but if kicking the cat / punting the cat / pushing him away with his foot would cause such a fight, then he won't do it. He doesn't have the time for a fight. He's making mac n cheese.

Worth mentioning that both are probably really bored all of the time. If he doesn't grab that cat often, then this opportunity may be an enticing piece of stimuli.

So yeah he grabs that cat.

Ummm. What else is there to say........I mean I mean FURTHERMORE:

Yajirobe keeps coming back to Korin Tower. He never wanted a friend, and he never asked for a friend, but he has found someone that he becomes very comfortable with. And if Yajirobe is about personal comfort and pleasure and peace - it is very, very nice to have someone who accepts you, will have you, and who is sometimes even happy to see you. That makes relaxing easy. That makes life enjoyable. Of course he keeps coming back.

Master Korin probably appreciates the fact that there is somebody whom he knows consistently over the years. Usually when he meets someone, it's like starting over every time - but he's had years of conversation and memories with Yajirobe that they can both draw on. Korin can tell a joke and know that it'll land, and they probably have inside jokes too. And it's not like Korin has ever had, or has ever expected to have, a roommate who can be sensibly considerate. Yajirobe knows the foods Korin likes and he considers this when he goes hunting and gathering. He knows what'll piss him off and is sometimes inclined to use this knowledge for good, to keep the peace. Yajirobe may be rude, but he really is reasonable - he will do what feels nice and he'll do what needs to be done. And he doesn't mince words either. He says what he means and nothing more.

So.

DOES HE LICK THAT CAT?

Probably ....

Like I don't see why not ....

VERY IMPORTANT ELEMENT THAT I FORGOT TO WORK IN:

Do ... you know the madness of isolation? Not only that but isolation with another. Yajirobe and Korin definitely develop their own language. And since they are the only ones there, everything they do is through no one's judgement but their own. And they were already pretty comfortable with the weirdness of the world to begin with. The monotony of isolation absolutely dulls and then erases any conventions for normalcy that you had. AND WHAT WAS THERE TO BEGIN WITH? They were both already completely anti-social. At first Yajirobe wouldn't lick that cat becasue he has self-respect but he's up there so long that he grows so comfortable with Korin that he has jurisdiction over and no qualms with licking that cat. HONESTLY IT'D BE WEIRD IF HE DIDN'T?

It'd be weird if he didn't. It'd be weird if he wore judgement like a hat. It'd be weird if he denied himself anything. He licks that cat.

And the cat lets him.

Korin has just as much self-respect as Yajirobe does. He allows himself life's pleasures. He would enjoy the pleasures of trust and comfort, and he would enjoy being licked.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Korin is a wise old hermit who is a crazy bitch who has found someone who invokes him to yell "SHUT UP" to without a moment's thought for his own elegance of image. Yajirobe treats Korin with the irreverence of a mortal and it has nothing to do with a disrespect for Korin and everything to do with a respect that Yajirobe has for himself. They don't hate each other but they have disliked everything about the other's unchanging nature since day one. They feel the comfort of friendship when around each other and Yajirobe is eternally motivated to climb that tower (or use a hovercar if it can reach that altitude). Honestly Yajirobe probably just stays there becasue it's a hassle to have to climb up it again every time and he knows that that's where he'll end up anyway. Korin is a cat and he likes to be licked. End post

STAY GORGEOUS !!

[anonymous-dentist]

My last writing gift went pretty well and I really like your new demon AU even if I haven't watched the anime so... Have this?

The Almighty Demon King had just finished an attempt at human courting rituals from a dusty old novel in the castle that SEEMED to know what it was talking about.

He seemed wrong he supposed.

And now the handsome human servant was laughing at him. LAUGHING AT HIM. THE DEMON KING.

He was prevented from actually being mad by how pretty Roier's laugh was. Infuriating. (Please do it more often)

When Roier was done HUMILIATING him he managed to say, still snickering: "Where did you learn to flirt man? A 300 year old hermit?!?"

Cellbit started futility trying to defend himself before he was interrupted by something entirely unexpected.

"Wh- I- I didn't-"

A slow mischievous grin speed over Roier's face

"That's alright gatinho, I can be a good teacher"

As he slid a hand up Cellbit's arm

And leaned in close

And moved his hand from Cellbit's shoulder to his face and traced his jaw line with two fingers, tilting the Demon King's head closer to Roier's lips as he whispered; entirely too lowly and gravely to be considered proper: "but only if you want me to"

And the Almighty Demon King's brain promptly turned into fucking jelly.

After a couple of seconds that Cellbit barely registered, the first fully formed thought that came to his mind was that Roier would make a VERY good succubus

Poor Cellbit can’t escape the old man allegations. It’s not his fault Demon Courting always includes death and murder and hellfire and stuff, and that obviously isn’t good for humans! Roier deserves something… softer. Like flowers, but no flowers grow in the Demon Realm that aren’t man-eating

Luckily, Roier absolutely loves the Demon Plants in the garden. He also appreciates the regular human flowers Cellbit manages to have planted, though he 100% teases Cellbit about it for days

Maybe Cellbit is just. Really, REALLY gay

[wellthebardsdead]

Lucien: so, Bass, do you have any hobbies you enjoy? Like, I know you only just emerged from oblivion a couple months ago and it’s more or less just been, go! Go! Go! Since then but. Is there anything you enjoy doing?

Bass: My wife used to bring me small shelled creatures. Snails and mudcrabs usually. Sometimes hermit crabs. All of them injured and in need of help. So I’d repair their shells or make entirely new ones while I fed them treats. It was a delightful pass time between my duties. She’d get very upset over fluffy creatures being hurt though, rabbits, foxes, deer and the like and would beg me to help them. I hated seeing my wife cry so I created prosthetics for them. It’s actually how I rose in rank from a lowly baritone tonal architect to an innovator and tonal architect under the study of Kagrenac’s teachings. I believe Yagrum Bagarn actually used my schematics to create his prosthetics after losing his lower half. I told him he shouldn’t be indulging in so much drink and moon sugar but he didn’t listen… it breaks my heart seeing what’s become of him.

Lucien: I- wait- hold on a moment you met Kagrenac?! What was he like?! And- YAGRUM IS STILL ALIVE?!

Bass: alive… but… not living… *tears up* My old friend became infected with the disease spewed out by Ur Dagoth… I saw him only through glass walls in the chamber he was being held. Divayth Fyr created a vaccine to protect everyone who’d come into contact with him, and it was one I gladly took. But still, Yagrum was too violent for me to enter… He recognised me for only a moment, and wept. He’d spent so long looking for us even in his madness, and I can only hope I brought him some peace before his end…

Lucien: His? End?…

Bass: With me alive, there was no reason to desperately try to keep him alive as the last dwemer… he was in agony, lost to madness, barely eating, a diseased, husk of the person I once new… I begged Divayth Fyr to end him, it broke my heart seeing him suffer the way he was… and as cruel as it sounds, I’m glad he did… I burned his body so he wouldn’t raise as a thrall… and now. I truely am alone…

Lucien: …

*a few hours later*

Lucien: Bass!! I need your help! It’s urgent!

Bass: What is it?? What happened??

Lucien: *holds up a snail with a cracked shell* I stood on him walking back from the hags cure! Can you fix him? Please?

Bass: *gently pats the snail making it retreat into its shell so it won’t get hurt when he picks it up* of course I will Lucien… would you like to help me and take notes?

Lucien: I- yes! Absolutely!

Bass: wonderful, I should make you my apprentice at this point!

[streaminn]

Remember how I said I'm reading the Iliad? Well, I'm nearly done with it, and near the end it reminded me of something that I had forgotten about.

Achilles only went to war because he was fated to either die young there and win eternal glory, or grow old and dull and forgotten. Legacy is what the warriors of the time lived for, so he and Patroclus went.

He refused to fight in combat after one of the Greek leaders disrespected him greatly, and was told to not fight until the Trojans began winning so he could come out and fight and win his honor back, by his mother, who goes and begs Zeus to grant Achilles glory.

Patroclus was Achilles' friend/lover, and Patroclus died because he was so consumed by the fear that the Greeks would lose and that Achilles would die, so he went in Achilles' armor.

Achilles, in his grief, refused to eat or drink, and promised to bring down man-slaying Hector, the warrior who killed Patroclus.

Achilles, when he kills the other man, slices his ankles open and slides in a leather strap, ties it to his horse, and drags Hectors body through the dirt and dust. Humiliation is considered one of the worst things to happen to anyone back then.

In a dream, Patroclus tells Achilles to bury him quickly, as unburied dead are unable to pass into Hades' halls, and also requests of him to have their bones buried together.

Achilles complies.

It's the reason why the Iliad starts off with some variation of "sing, o Muse, at the rage of Achilles."

This is how Wednesday would react to Enid's death, especially in a war-time situation.

Enid is a kind, caring person— fitting how Patroclus is described. She wouldn't want all this war, all she'd want is her and Wednesday to stay together, alone on some little island.

But Wednesday likes to be the best, the person above all, so she would go.

Enid would absolutely be consumed by the fear of Wednesday dying. She'd stay up at night, next to her, running her fingers over smooth skin and wish they could just go home, leave this all behind and rest together until their old days.

Wednesday, though, we know to be headstrong in her endeavors, wouldn't listen to Enid if she was begged to stay, to grow old and forgotten.

Enid would be smart enough to think of wearing Wednesday's armor, and lovingly stupid enough to risk herself to save her and their friends.

Wednesday would stop at nothing to get revenge, all glory and wealth forgotten, because she's lost her Enid. Her life and light.

Wednesday is the kind of enraged, mourning lover to slit the ankles of Enid's killer and drag them through dirt and earth, shocked gods and horrified parents be damned.

Wednesday is the kind of desperate, hurt lover to want hers and Enid's bones buried together, so that they may be together forever in Hades' halls.

And Enid is the kind of lover, who can know Wednesday through all the awful things she's done, and still love her, even though war and all its tears split them apart.

-Writer Anon.

Honest reaction to an au thought of one half of Wenclair living and the other gone. Like I can live with one where they couldn't get together (Hermit au) but one where the other is dead!?

Horrible.

But you are so right writer anon. Omygod Wednesday is so obviously know to be stubborn esp in terms of pride so I bet she felt like she was slapped in the face when she realizes that Enid went in her stead in some attempt to protect her

Her: the untouchable warrior, the one who is supposed to care for them both

I don't think Wednesday could even be mad at Enid because that was just how she is, too loving, too good and not at all supposed to be in these troubling times

They're simply so.. :-:

[sorcharavenlock]

12. The Three Musketeers.

Nea and I are only two of the members of the Loki Defence Force, our internet group dedicated to Loki. We made another friend there, Kitty.

This is Kitty. She is one of the sweetest and kindest people I have ever met, and wickedly funny to boot. And she has far more common sense than myself and Nea combined.

It is about time we fill her in, so I call a club meeting.

I greet Kitty with a kiss on her cheek, it's been a while since we last met!

I've told Loki to stay out of sight for now. It's better if Nea and I explain everything first.

"Wait! You performed a seance without having any idea what you are doing? And you thought that was a good idea?"

"it was Marianna's idea, "Nea says quickly. "And her crystal ball! I was just there really."

I glare at her, I distinctly remember it being Nea's idea.

"It doesn't matter whose idea it was," Kitty interrupts quickly before Nea and I start arguing. "Please tell me nothing happened?"

"yeah, about that..." Nea shrugs apologetically.

("It was Marianna's idea, I'm sure of it!" thinks Nea)

I quickly explain to Kitty we managed to summon the god of Mischief's ghost.

"You mean you summoned Loki himself?" Kitty asks. "I can't believe that worked!"

I grimace. "Yes, and now we are kind of stuck with him. And he's convinced we can find a way to bring him back to life!"

"Mayhap it is better if I explain myself," Loki interrupts as he sits down. "Hello, Kitty."

Kitty nearly jumps out of her skin as Loki materialises.

"With Niflheim in chaos and Valhalla closed to me, I have nowhere to move onto. Perhaps this means I still have an opportunity to come back instead. As a matter of fact, I am certain it is possible, if not extremely difficult.

But if it were easy everyone would do it!"

"Our biggest problem is that we don't even know where to start," I explain. "The tomes in my house contain a lot of useful magic knowledge, but nothing about returning a ghost back to life."

"Have you thought about contacting Thor?" Kitty asks. "He is your brother after all. And he must be missing you terribly. You are the only family he has left."

"Adopted! And, absolutely not!" Loki snaps. "Whatever was between us, it soured a long time ago. His last words to me were, and I quote: 'You really are the worst brother!' No, our paths diverged a long time ago, Thor made that quite clear."

"According to the internet Thor left with the Guardians of the Galaxy anyway," Nea says as she looks it up on her phone.

"How about Doctor Strange then? He is a powerful Sorcerer!"

"Are you mad? That two-bit, second-rate, good-for-nothing, full-of-himself, arrogant..." We wait patiently for Loki to finish his stream of insults.

"So not Doctor Strange then," I say dryly.

"It is not like we have any way of contacting them even if we wanted to anyway," Kitty reminds us.

We are all at a loss.

"There is one person who might be able to help..." Kitty muses suddenly. "If he is real that is. It could just be a legend."

"Well, anything is better than this! Surely it is worth trying!" Loki exclaims.

"My parents used to take us camping to this place in the woods, called Granite Falls. It was rumoured that a hermit lived there who knows more than anyone alive or dead. If you find him, he will answer one question, but one only."

"Brilliant! Let us go camping!" Loki declares. "I love camping!"

I eye him incredulously.

"You love going camping?"

"But of course I do! We used to go on hunting expeditions all the time, Thor, Father, myself and the other nobles! It was glorious!"

"And how many servants did you bring?" Nea asks, just as suspicious as I am. Loki's face falls. He hadn't thought of that.

After a moment, he brightens up again.

"Well, there is only one of me and three of you! Surely that will be enough to suffice!"

I shake my head at him. he has to stop treating us Midgardians as his servants!

"Well, I for one can't wait! I've never gone camping before," Nea grins as she stands up to leave. "it will be fun!"

Kitty and I look at each other and shrug. It looks like we'll be going camping this weekend!

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Hello I'm in anon but if anyone stumbles upon this and recognizes me no you don't

I've been pestering my friends about this idea of a sort of Beauty and The Beast excerpt of dialogue with Mihawk and S/O (or future S/O I don't know my mind doesn't focus on that part it focuses solely on Mihawk and sass). This isn't a Mihawk kidnaps S/O to have them the same way the movie goes (or it may, if anyone wishes for it to be yandere although that's not the vision I give to my friends 💀. My initial idea was along the lines of him having to keep S/O there because of it being part of a mission or something of the like)

S/O healing his scratches after he goes out to fetch them and gets scratched (I keep assuring them it's most likely a scratch because of thorns because there's no way the monkeys in the island try shit with Mihawk knowing him. The what causes the scratches themselves isn't important 😭 let me cook)

Mihawk, already pissed off about having had to go fetch them, dryly: If I didn't know it's useless, darling, I'd swear you're trying to tear my upper arm off

S/O, just as visibly pissed off: Well if you stopped moving it wouldn't hurt so much

Mihawk: If you hadn't run away I wouldn't have been injured in the first place

S/O: Well if you hadn't frightened me with that glare of yours I wouldn't have run!

Mihawk:

S/O:

Mihawk: Well, you shouldn't be giving me constant reasons to stare at you disapprovingly

S/O: Is that what you call your death glare?! Well YOU should learn how to stop being so bitchy!

And they're pinning for eachother so hard and they hate it MWHAHAHAHHA (I'm sorry I'm currently extremely sleep deprived and this gives me the giggles and I like sharing it with my favourite creators or people I feel might appreciate it or like the characters. This also applies to Zoro though in a different vibe hehehe).

This is very heavily the vibe between Mihawk and my OC for Hearing Problems (sole exception that she would absolutely under no circumstances ever admit she was frightened, too much pride, would just say she was annoyed), so I've thought about this general dynamic a lot.

Not the similarities to Beauty and the Beast, admittedly, but I very much like it.

And it's also my favorite way I can see Mihawk ending up embroiled in a romantic relationship after years upon years of being more or less of a hermit. A sometimes murdery hermit, yes, but still a hermit.

He's absolutely convinced that he hates future-S/O, because he's just sincerely not used to the feelings he's experiencing, and his instinct is to shove said feelings away and blame her for upending his solitary existence and making him feel things honestly how dare her he was perfectly content sipping wine and being sarcastic without any damned help.

And future-S/O is dealing with the same thing—just mad as hell that she has to deal with this ungrateful warlord with his sarcastic comments and general antisocial tendencies...but at the same time, secretly aware that he would probably just kill her if he didn't actually want her around, which is kind of sweet in a weird unhinged sort of way.

And so, their mutual, subconscious pining just slowly builds and builds until neither of them can lie to themselves about it anymore and they end up in love or something.

And they're both still low-key annoyed that it happened.

Enemies to lovers? No, enemies resigned to the fact that they're now lovers whether they want to be or not, and still wholly unwilling to admit that they like the idea of it.

Just accidentally in love and mutually irritated about it until death do them part.

[insane4fandoms]

What are your headcannons for the matpat egos in a relationship with Y/N / captain?

Of course, dear Anon!

Matpat Egos Towards Reader/Captain

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Matpat

- He sees you.

- That’s all I’m going to say. He sees Captain, and goes straight through the eyes, pin pointing to where you are exactly while reading this. He sees what you’re doing.

- He knows exactly what you’re here for. He is aware that you are on this platform, reading this post.

- And all he’s going to say is that… is that he’s flattered. He should get used to people being big fans of him , but never his alter egos before. Makes him feel like he’s apart of the big league YouTubers. ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

- Matt sees absolute chaos in Captain, with their impulsive behavior and does their own reckless things. It reminds him of Mirror Matt and Ash.

- He’s fond of them, finds them a great person to have long length, deep conversations with. Captain is a great listener, and doesn’t mind when people give monologues, backstories, or rants. They find it comforting.

Madpat

- He is amused at Captain, seeing them go from wormhole to another, getting more stressed and scared. The anguish fuels him.

- However, he is fascinated by how strong and dependent they can be. Captain picks him up and he immediately went feral. Not in a bad way, but in a “join me and we can dance under the bloody rain” way.

- It would take a while for Captain to gain trust from Madpat, maybe help him with cleaning up one of his crime scenes, and maybe… JUST MAYBE, he’ll be cool with Captain.

- However, Captain’s head engineer looks a little familiar… So keep them away from each other, don’t want more fire at the main controls.

- If he truly trusts them, he’ll give Captain his iconic flame throwing chainsaw. But even if he trusts them, he’ll try to stab them out of love. He does the same with Hermit, despite the protests of the other alter egos. They just don’t get it.

Detective

- He is fascinated about the Captain. A possible dimension jumping leader who has unthinkable strength and has also been through a lot of shit.

- He is a little nervous around them however, seeing how strong Captain is, it just reminds him of Strong Man… so he’s a few feet away from them.

- But that doesn’t mean he’s full on afraid. He admires Captain’s leadership and letting their intrusive thoughts take over. It reminds him of a few of his friends back at etn.

- The two will probably bond about how many times they “died”, and how they care about their team, their friends, and how they consider them as family. Truly a heartfelt moment if I do say so myself.

- When it comes down to whether or not he sees Captain as an ally or foe, Detective absolutely sees them as a friend. He might even share Blanche with Captain! That’s basically god giving you eternal life.

Hermit

- Hermit knew he recognized Captain! They’re his old friendo he met not long ago!

- Oh how he’s glad they’re okay! He was afraid that he’ll never see his friendo ever again, but now they’re here! It may be a mistake on the Captain’s fault, since now he doesn’t want to leave Captain’s side, but that’s a different story.

- Like Mad, Hermit sees familiarity in the head engineer, but that is also alright! More friendos to have, and the less lonely he gets.

- All he wants to do now is to feed everyone the meals he cooked, the meat, the pastries, a whole feast for a king! He still won’t tell where he gets the meat, but the less you know, the better… trust me.

- He’ll also give Captain random things as a sign of affection, such as coins, buttons, bones (separated by the meat of course, don’t want chaos), shiny glitter, ect. All in all, I would say he likes Captain.

Mack

- You know how Captain’s and Mack’s first interaction played out.

- But let’s put this in three categories; Crewmember, Head Engineer, and Dictator.

Crewmate

- He is just like Mark. He ADORES the Captain very much.

- He works hard and shows them what he did like those kids making macaroni art. When Captain says he did a great job, he’s happy for a whole week.

- He trusts Captain with his life, but is very observant when something happens with the ship and with Captain, so he does tend to get wary.

- Still, he’ll do his best to make Captain proud, and when he does, it proved his worth on the Invincible II.

Head Engineer

- He wanted their position, and is condescending when he tells them their flaws.

- When that failed, he still suggest it time to time, and was still smug about how much he knows more than the Captain.

- Captain simply rolls their eyes, but keeps him around, since besides Celci, he’s a somewhat reasonable guy. That’s when Mack realized they see so much potential in him, he’s in awe on how Captain gives him respect, unlike the others.

- He tones down the patronizing, but still tries to flex on how he could do things better, but Captain simply smiled and pats his head. Whenever they do that, he internally melts.

Dictator

- Oh how he loves Cappy~

- He keeps them around out of amusement

- He has a god damn dog bed next to his throne that is labeled “Lil’ Cappy” for crying out loud! Don’t know if that’s what he’s into, but we don’t kink shame here. (Within reason)

- It’s a complicated relationship, Captain just wants to rest and take a break from being leader, Mack at first wanted power and to get rid of them, but wanted them around because he grew to be obsessed with them.

- He pampers Captain, if they’re good. If not, their neck be in pain by Mack pulling them harshly by the leash. He only does it because he cares for Captain! It’s them who needs to understand that.

Warfpat

- As Matt, he sees you, and he loves you!

- He wasn’t aware that people acknowledged him for more than 5 minutes from his one and only appearance.

- But that doesn’t matter, all he cares about what’s going on in Captain’s mind. Do they truly know what is going on? Do they have any theories? Are they aware that they are merely a fictional character where the viewer sees through their eyes and are doomed to be victims of the viewer’s decisions, be framed as the villain and be plunged into an endless loop, where each ending is only for entertainment?

- Uhhh… ignore that last question. Not because Warf is holding be at scissor point-! But because of something else! Heh… anyways-

- His relationship with Captain is simply a interviewer and interviewee, at least that’s what Warf says. In reality, he loves the fact there are people who adores him. Sure, just a handful of fans, but he’ll take it!

- He could only interact with his fans through Captain, which grew into him seeing Captain as one of his only friends.

[fitzs-space]

Gather round, Fitzs idea dump time.

Alright I want an excuse to talk about my Tango headcanons and my general Mob n Hybrid lore.

Alright, quick n dirty version of my thoughts in gerneral mob lore. Moblins are just the evolved // more sentient version of regular mobs (Piglins = Moblins// evolved pigs), Mandreds are the more 'Human' creatures (Includes fae/Elven types) lots of grey areas between em but general Idea,,,

Alright now, Tango is not a Blaze Moblin.

Does he share blaze ancestry? of course! but unlike Tango your typical Blaze moblin doesn't absolutely burn within water.

Ok so what is a typical Blaze Moblin then? They look a lot more skeletal for one. Very segmented and floaty things they are, held together with the ancients magic and their own will of life. their bones hold the glowing embers of flame that keeps their life, the fire they adorn themselves with that flutter into controlled shapes seen closest to what one calls hair, voices that reek of ash and crunch like that of a forgotten language. Evolved from their original purpose as the fortress' automatons who were made to protect, and just, became to exist. They eventually got around to, passing, their genetics around, you know how Mandreds can be,,, But even then Their hybrid children still float around segmented with flames that light along their limbs, eyes that glow and shift with lava, and golden rods that hold together their mothered source of life.

Nothing that Tango knew with himself.

Sure he had the rods that idly floated around his head, the flame that lowly flickered within his hair, the whole 'My bits wont burn when I'm in lava' fact that gave him the confidence to say he was at the very Least probably a Blaze hybrid. But, that was it, there was nothing else to even suggest he was more then just kinda blaze-ish. A blaze hybrid didn't have a tail, didn't have nearly as much of the soft fleshy bits of a person, no ears that made it look like they waked out of some link cosplay contest, didn't have the red eyes that made him get called a tall Imp all the time, that dammed metal sensitivity that makes no sense mind you cause aren't blazes like a metal?!?-, and that whole 'my skin will actually burn and bubble in water!' madness that is a hassle and a half mind you.

What normally happens to Blazes in water for that to be such a strange thing? "didn't water kinda always hurt them?" you ask? I mean, yea technically water will hurt a Blaze, but more so in how It'll hurt anyone else really. Cause its not the water that'll hurt them more so the temperature, see if a Blaze goes in water, normally they'll cause a bunch of steam and cool down but eventually they'll get to an equilibrium with the water temperature. But if the water's too cold, they'll lose their 'flame of life' as the way of explaining it. Its why Blaze moblins and hybrids always try to keep warm, cause its the cold that will kill them.

and so, Tango just exists as this anomaly of an entity with an ongoing identity crisis and constant insecurity hoping that none of the hermits know enough about nether moblins to realize he is no where Near close to what should be 'expected' of an Actual Blaze hybrid.

That is until Gem just kinda comes along and mentions how "it makes sense about Tango having those super strong water protection enchant sigils, what with being both a Blaze and Enderian hybrid" acting as if she didn't manage to drop the biggest bomb on Tango, because "what did you mean you didn't know?? I thought that was just common knowledge???" and try's to dig herself out of that hole by deflecting the confusion with a joke of "next you'll tell me you didn't know about also having strider genetics too,,," and Tango just, bluescreens.

[thefamilyeldritchabomination]

Chapter Twenty: Sonne Pt. 5

 “Dolly will be alright, she’s just zapped herself of energy and will need some time to replenish before Dolly is operational once more. Now, I will tell you right now that your weird leech like hermit crab is the least of your worries, right now, you and Dolly are still at the same location as before. Do you want to see what the current scenario looks like or would you rather have me explain why you’re actually here?” Survive grabbed a little tea cake to munch on while she waited on what Envy’s decision would be.

“I want to see what’s going on right now…I don’t think I can focus if I don’t know what’s going on.” Envy finally admitted to themself that they indeed had problems with focusing on things.

 “Then I will fire up the scrying bowl then to view what’s happening at the moment, you may even get an idea why I’ve dragged you into my little domain.” Survive casually returned to the scrying bowl as she finished a tea cake, running a claw along the rim of the bowl, the waters flickering to life with the current scene playing out.

=======================================================================

 It had been two hours since the explosive event happened as Lust sat by the table, keeping Gluttony close by since Greed was running late with his food. Because of how much of a death grip Envy had with Dolly, they couldn’t really separate the two at all and were left on the floor of the cabin for the time being until one of the two woke up. Ernest and Dorian had set up a little blanket fort of sorts close to Dolly, feasting on snack foods while they waited for her to awaken. Periodically, one of the two absolutely awful lions would take a piece of their own clay and carefully massage it into Dolly’s furry arm until it absorbed a bit into her body. Freddy couldn’t help but feel very weirded out by this new behavior from the monsters he had a hand in creating, sitting on the couch with the Elric brothers, bickering away on who gets to transmute Envy fully back to normal after the botched job Dolly did. It was pretty clear that neither party wanted to touch Envy, mainly because of the large horrible teeth they have and the bite risk the asshole held at the moment. 

 “I tried my best the first time, it’s your turn to transmute them kid.” Freddy said, trying to push the job on Edward Elric to handle the spiteful asshole. “I’m seventeen years old, just a kid still, you transmute them, you’re old.” Edward protested, shoving the job back to Freddy who wasn’t all too thrilled with this event.

 “I’m not that old asshole, I’m still a fresh spring flower in the garden of life.” Freddy argued, not happy being called old so early in life, not realizing his flower status had been promoted to a tree instead.

 “Mr. Mancer, you’re like close to forty and aren’t even married yet or with kids. You transmute Envy, you have nothing to lose.” Edward snidely remarked, still not going to touch Envy after everything that happened between the two. “Kid, I’m fucking twenty-eight years old, being around the homunculi here has rapidly aged me before my time..” Freddy had an expression of being dead inside from all the stress they’ve endured within a year’s time.

 “...Damn…yeah you still have to transmute Envy.” Edward wasn’t going to budge on the subject matter and was very determined not to handle Envy in any foreseeable way.

 “You’re a creature of very little empathy, aren’t you?” Freddy snorted as they fish for their knife again to pop off some scales on Envy to find the tattoo once more.

 “Oh no, I’m very empathetic, I just have no more shits to give, especially around you.” Edward said, feeling relieved to have won the who gets to transmute Envy debate as Envy’s serpentine tail basically whipped the knife out of Freddy’s hand.

 “Goddamn it, even when you’re unconscious you’re still a pain in the ass to deal with.” Freddy rubbed his freshly whipped hand and decided Envy can stay as a mad science project gone wrong.

 “To be fair, you did pull a knife on Envy..” Alphonse finally spoke after being silent between the bickering Alchemists.

 “They earned that one fair and square from how they rapidly aged me.” Freddy pouted since they didn’t get to pop any scales off Envy as pay back.

 “That’s enough squeaking, I'm getting a massive headache listening to this. All I want to know is where the hell is Greed!?” Lust finally stood up from the table, having had enough of this day.

 “Right here! Man, have I told you guys how much I love this crazy town? The circus arrived in town just now with their crazy looking machine and one of them even hissed at me! It was great.” Greed had barged into the cabin with one of the first cadavers to feed Gluttony with.

 “Is it a hobby of yours to get anyone to hiss at you in general?” Lust raised an eyebrow at Greed’s statement as she let loose Gluttony to get a fresh corpse after being hungry for so long.

 “Not always, that’s normally reserved for Little Envy the Jealous, but it was awesome being hissed at by someone else for a change.” Greed said as he failed to see the aforementioned Envy on the floor.

 “Well good news for you, we got Envy back, downside, they’re out like a light and looks like something straight from a horror show.” Lust said, her finger casually pointing to the floor to show off the semi humanoid looking Envy.

 “Damn..I knew Freddy and Envy had bad blood but I didn’t think Freddy would purposefully make Envy keep that monstrous look, though they can totally now fit in with my merry band of chimeras.” Greed whistled appreciatively at the horrible sight of Envy freely seeing as they won’t be punching the living daylights out of him just yet.

 “Damn it I didn’t do that, that was Dolly! Didn’t you see that huge ass light show earlier!?” Freddy screeched in frustration once again as he pointed out to Dolly on the ground with Envy, her horrible clay nurses screeching like banshees at Freddy in response.

 “Oh so that’s what the light display was! Yeah that caused the circus folks to go wild at the sight. I think they were trying to locate something, but not entirely sure what though.” Greed went to sit on the couch as if everything was still very normal and not entirely a dumpster fire at the moment.

 “Greed, please tell me this isn’t your way of saying you want to start a circus after everything is done with…” Edward was now feeling the same thing as Lust was, pure exasperation.

 “I do like circuses and that brings in lots of cash..” Greed started to toy around with the idea of starting up a circus with that sharp tooth grin of his.

[circesays]

IM AM SO MAD THAT TUMBLR ERASED MY FIRST VERSION OF THIS. WHY. Time to rewrite 30 minutes of editing.

Frustration aside, here’s some notes for a fun “villain” Tango and hero Jimmy friendship story! Features Rancher Duo, misunderstood dungeon master Tango, unwilling hero Jimmy, ravagers, wardens, and adventures, oh my!

(I put most of it below a cut because I wrote a lot lol have fun!!)

———— :) ————

Jimmy is the prophesied Hero and member of the legendary Minecraft Adventuring Guild (MCAG), whos party has abandoned him due to his clumsiness to “protect” him, leaving him at home with a sense of betrayal and some very reckless ideas.

Tango is the mighty villain and ruler of Deep Frost Citadel, menace to all who live… yeah except he’s not. Tango actually runs a Ravager and Warden sanctuary, where he rescues abused ravagers from pillagers and maintains a healthy skulk network for his Wardens.

Jimmy marches into DFC and finds Tango with no intent to harm him (he was prophesied to defeat Tango and was kinda forced into it by his village and adventuring guild) and is like “I’m here to negotiate. Stop terrorizing people. Also please don’t murder me” and Tango instead is like “actually we don’t do that here. You seem kinda lonely and bored, how would you like a job?” (And a boyfriend and/or beloved friend cough cough-)

Jimmy and Tango run Deep Frost Citadel and Decked Out (the sanctuary/dungeon run) for a couple months together when finally Tango senses the heroes’ party approaching and decides to absolutely Clown On Them.

So they enter and are like “We’ve come to end your evil deeds once and for all!” And Jimmy enters the room like “Babe, Janet just gave birth to two absolutely amazing, healthy baby ravagers and ohmigosh they’re so cute you gotta come see them- oh hey guys!”

Cue absolutely flabbergasted stammering and indigent arm/hand motions until Tango and Jimmy just break down laughing.

-More Pieces/Story elements/headcanons-

-Tango can sense when someone is approaching Deep Frost Citadel with the intent to harm

-he usually attempts to ward them off with snowstorms and negotiation, but very very rarely is forced to kill intruders to defend himself and his assistants. He mourns every death and always returns them to the nearest settlement

-Tango has run Decked Out for years, a dungeon run that’s healthy for the ravagers and the Wardens and allows people to gamble for treasures with only risk of minor harm (they can enderport out at any time)

-Most people nowadays believe Decked Out is actually a villainous scheme to provide raids with ravagers and create an army to destroy the world with Wardens and ravagers.

-Jimmy’s old party consists of Grian, Lizzie, Joel, Scott, Pearl, Gem, Sausage, Fwhip, and Scar (who is now the clumsiest but still skilled with the bow). He loves them dearly but hates how they underestimate him. He’s not very good at swordplay or archery but he’s charismatic and funny and people like him.

-Jimmy could never hate his old party but it took him a while to stop being bitter

-Jimmy is the son of the town fisherwoman, and he loves fishing and swimming. Unfortunately he wasn’t able to continue his hobby while out training to fight

-Jimmy and Tango both know MCSL (Minecraft sign language lol). Everyone in DFC has to know it because of the Wardens, but Jimmy learned from the children of his village because he wanted to be able to talk to lots of different people

-the MCAG is a large and extremely famous adventuring guild that consists of many inner-guilds and parties, including the popular Hermits, Empires, and DreamSMP (Dream’s Survival-Magic Parties)

-Captain Sparklez leads the MCAG because of course he does.

-Jimmy’s old party is unusual because it consists of Empires members and Hermits. But his party was also a “temporary” party that was only supposed to last until Tango was defeated

-the question that remains after all of this is… what now?

Please please feel free to use any of these ideas. This is just for fun. I might write it later.