#still sobbing over official art 10 years later

[ladykailitha]

Royal Pain: Epilogue

I know I said I would hold off posting until the Christmas story was completed, but this one literally had one chapter left and it felt rude to make you wait for it.

Happy boys!

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11 Pt 12 Pt 13 Pt 14 Pt 15 Pt 16 Pt 17 Pt 18 Pt 19 Pt 20 Pt 21 Meta Pt 22 Pt 23 Pt 24|Pt 25|Pt 26|Pt 27|Pt 28

****

Six months later:

They were having a holiday plus everyone celebrating something awesome party.

It was held at Steve and Eddie’s new house. Steve had decided to move out the apartment and buy a house now that the business was so successful. And on their six month anniversary, Steve asked Eddie to move in with him.

It had two studios. A music one for Eddie, where he could write songs and the boys could practice so that they no longer had to rent out that garage.

The second one was for Steve to get his art degree. He was still running Royal Pain, but wanted to learn new styles and techniques that would help him become a better tattoo artist.

Chrissy, Robin, and Vickie had also moved into together, but into a bigger apartment that had three rooms so that they could all have their own space, but still remain a committed polycule.

Argyle and Chrissy were both full time tattoo artists, leaving time for Steve to go back to school.

Robin was going back to school, too. To become a translator.

Eden and Argyle were still a couple and expecting their first child in the summer.

Nancy and Jonathan remained broken up, with Nancy in therapy and Jonathan dating a friend of Miranda’s.

Jeff and Miranda were getting married in February, the reception to be held at the Nightmare Holes.

Mike and Will were official now, too and were in talks to move in together. They were trying to decide to move to Will’s apartment, Mike’s, or a find another apartment all together. One that was both their space.

Erica had moved to New York to be with Max and Lucas. But all of them were in town for the party. Having planned it around when the Knicks would be in town.

Hopper was loving Eden as his apprentice, hers almost being up. He was eyeing the first of the year to promote her.

Brian came out as ace and that Cecil was his platonic life partner and had been for the last couple of years.

Gareth and Gethin were still sharing the apartment, but they were still single. Gethin was always looking for the next Mrs Hughes, but Gareth was content to find out more about himself before diving into a relationship.

Dustin and Suzie were also expecting, but they had just found earlier that week.

The Binghams were so excited that two of their daughters were pregnant and were planning to come up in the summer to help with Eden’s baby and help Suzie get ready for hers.

They were all gathered around in the kitchen with a package that Murray had sent over that morning.

“Come on, Ed,” Wayne said softly. “Open ‘er up.”

Eddie nodded and tore the brown paper off the gift. He let out a choked out sob.

Steve put his arm around Eddie’s shoulder.

“Oh sunshine,” Steve breathed. “Show everyone.”

Eddie nodded and lifted it over his head so everyone could see.

There in a black frame and nestled in a white background was a gold record for their song, Pretty Boy Under Bright Lights. The first love song Eddie ever wrote for Steve. And it had just sold its five hundred thousand copy.

They all started cheering.

Steve kissed Eddie’s cheek fiercely. “See? I knew you could do it on your terms, Eds. You are a rockstar now.”

Tears ran down his cheeks nodding his head. Then he was surrounded by his band. They were hugging him and cheering.

Sometimes it really does work out for everyone. Even if didn’t happen the way they thought it would.

Eddie thought back to that day so long ago when Max had called him to let him know that she was leaving. He never thought that losing a tattoo artist would change his life forever.

Later that night, he pulled her aside.

“I owe you big time, Red,” he said, wrapping his arm around her.

Max grinned. “Hell yeah you do.”

“Anything you want, you’ve got,” Eddie promised. “My left kidney. My first child.”

She laughed. “When you two get married, I want to do matching tattoos on both of you.”

Eddie blinked. “Deal!”

Steve wandered over just then. “What’s a deal?”

Max grinned up at him. “Eddie just promised me that I get to do wedding tats when you two get married.”

Steve looked at Eddie and then back to Max. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

Max nodded once. “Damn straight it is.”

“Oh, honey,” Eddie teased. “There ain’t nothing straight about this relationship.”

She smacked his arm.

But Eddie just giggled.

“Come on,” Max said. “I want to see it.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “You saw it on my Insta.”

“It’s not the same and you know it,” she growled. “I want to see Steve’s masterpiece.”

Steve blushed. “Come on, Max...”

Eddie looked at his blush and then turned to Max. “Fine. But here and not out there where everyone can gawk.”

“Well, duh,” she said. “That’s why I asked now.”

Eddie took off his shirt and turned around.

“Oh shit,’ she hissed. “It’s even better than the pictures give it credit. Steve, this is incredible. There’s no way I could have done something like that.”

Steve ducked his head. “I really really like how it turned out.”

Eddie put his shirt back on. “Yeah. Me too. I just don’t like showing it off, because it’s so personal. Between me and Steve.”

Max nodded. “Yeah. Absolutely. Thanks for showing me.”

Eddie nodded back and wrapped his arms around, Steve. “Thanks for everything, Red.”

She waved them off. All she had done was leave. But they didn’t see it that way. So yeah, they owed everything to Max, for choosing to live her life on her own terms.

“Before we go back to the party,” Steve said. “I wanted to give you another present before we got to the main one later.”

Eddie’s shoulder sagged. “Babe you didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” Steve said scratching his cheek. “In fact it was something I’ve been meaning to give to you for a long time.”

He pulled out a brightly wrapped package the size of baseball.

“This isn’t a baseball, is it?” Eddie asked playfully.

Steve laughed. “No. It’s not that.”

Eddie removed the wrapping paper to find a small black velvet box. He opened it slowly.

“Babe, you can’t give this to me,” he begged. “This is the only thing you have left of your grandpa.”

Steve took it out and slid it on Eddie’s middle finger on his right hand. It fit perfectly. “I’ve been wanting you to have it since you gave me your lucky guitar pick. I wanted to give you something that was on the same level of importance to me that this was for you.” He tapped the pick gently that was under his shirt.

“It’s not–you’re not–”

Steve shook his head. “I will propose. Just not yet and not with that. You’ll get a ring on your left hand, sunshine. Make no mistake.”

Eddie nodded. “I love you, babe.”

“Steven Courtney Alexander Harrington you better not be making out in there!”

Eddie and Steve laughed and kissed deeply, then they walked back to the party, arms wrapped around each other.

“Right names, wrong order,” Eddie teased as they rejoined the group.

Robin blinked. “Wait, really?”

Steve nodded.

“I can’t believe you told him before you told me!” Robin hissed. “I was here first!”

“But I liked watching you guess,” he said laughing. Then he turned to the rest of the crowd. “Who told?”

Robin wiggled her shoulders smugly. “No one told me. I looked up your grandparents. They’re both pretty famous, after all.”

Steve sighed. “Again which of you told her to look it up?”

Robin’s jaw dropped and Vickie’s hand slowly went up.

“Traitor!” Robin said in mock outrage.

Eddie leaned down to see that Steve was pouting about her learning his middle name.

“Don’t worry about it, babe,” he said kissing Steve’s cheek. “We can make her guess my middle name.”

Steve immediately brightened up. “Oohhh. Yeah, okay. It’ll take her years to guess yours!”

“It’s Wayne,” Robin said confidently.

Wayne snorted from the corner. “You really think my deadbeat brother would name his son after me, the responsible one?��

She frowned.

Steve turned to Eddie gleefully. “You’re right, sunshine. Best game ever.”

Robin started shouting out names and it wasn’t even Eddie correcting her. It was Jeff, and Miranda, and Gareth, and Brian and everyone else who knew Eddie’s middle name.

And of course Steve knew it too, but he liked watching their friends and family laugh and try to guess. Because the truth was, Eddie didn’t have a middle name. Robin could guess forever and never get it right.

Steve curled up against Eddie’s side and sighed happily. It was his best year yet. And as long as he had Eddie by his side, they would all be great years to come.

END

****

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk ​@bookworm0690 @chaosgremlinmunson @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @justforthedead89 @emly03 @aizawa-emma @yikes-a-bee @redfreckledwolf @thesuninyaface @bookbinderbitch @archermightbegay @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @hallucinatedjosten @ellietheasexylibrarian @anne-bennett-cosplayer @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @bestwifehaver @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @oldwitcheshat @nightmareglitter @tinyplanet95 @novelnovella @jonesn4coffee @slowandsteddie @awkwardgravity1 @steaddie-on

[faneliacosplay]

An underrated magical girl series!✨

Magic Knight Rayearth. When I was about 10 and getting into manga, I randomly picked up the first volumes of Cardcaptor Sakura and Magic Knight Rayearth. I read CCS first and had planned to pick up the second volume the next time I went to the bookstore, but the second I started reading Rayearth, I was hooked and picked up the next volume as soon as I could! Like with many other kids who read/watched MKR, the ending to part one DESTROYED me. Sixteen years later I have never sobbed more over a book/manga.

This series has everything: magical girls, beautiful costumes, a plot that really makes you think, an amazing score, and the greatest anime opening in history.🔥

Sadly, Clamp’s first magical girl series is often overshadowed by their second one, Cardcaptor Sakura, which is a classic in every sense, that still gets lots of new art/merch made every year, while Rayearth will get some new art/merch occasionally.

If you haven’t already, I BEG of you to read or watch Magic Knight Rayearth since the manga is back in print for the third time and the anime is streaming for free on Tubi and TMS Entertainment’s official channel on YouTube!🤩

Costume made/worn by me!

AMAZING photo by the AMAZING Huffoto

Wig: Apollo + 35” wefts in Princess Pink Mix from @epiccosplaywigs

[fizzie]

Reminding y'all that Sei is good with animals

[rogerslovesstark]

Hi there! A huge fan 💜💙 I was wondering if your requests are open?

If yes, could you please write an angsty fic where in reader is dating Bucky and for some reason he belittles her and breaks off their relationship. After which eventually everyone on the team stops talking to her. She's forced to leave off on her own and struggles a lot. Later Bucky realises his mistake and tries to contact her but the old her is gone. Like she finds her own happiness. Sorry if it's too detailed☹️

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

WARNING: Angst

Your recruitment to the team was quick and very low-key. Almost no one knew that you had joined the Avengers because you requested Tony not to hold a press conference. You loved being an Avenger, the idea of helping people in need was so fulfilling.

However, the spotlight of being an Avenger was not pleasant. You did not know how Tony and Steve were able to handle it, the constant feeling of eyes on you, paparazzi almost always being on top of everything you do.

The few events you did go to, you stood with Bucky most of the time. He always kept you safe and comfortable while the party was booming. The two of you would walk around the venues Tony would rent out, looking at the architecture of the building, admiring the art that was around.

The conversation was kept minimal because there was already so much noise from the party. Both silently agreed that there was no need for extra noise.

It was the New Years Party two years ago where Bucky asked you if you wanted to slow dance. The Venue had multiple balconies and he chose the smallest one for the two of you to dance.

The two of you swayed to the soft music that could be heard from the party. Once the clock hit 12:00, Bucky leaned over and kissed you. You two began dating shortly after.

Every Sunday was a day for a date unless either of you had a mission. Every other week you planned a date for you and Bucky, walks in the park, restaurants, bars, everything you could think of.

You developed a dependency on Bucky. Always seeking his reassurance, seeking his comfort and touch. You felt as though you were not complete unless you were with Bucky. 

Your childhood was to blame, primarily your father. Physically, your dad was there but not emotionally. You never received emotional love from your father, the ‘I’m so proud of you’ or ‘you’re doing amazing’ Just a stiff nod.  

Being raised by your psychotic father was the reason you developed into the cold-hearted killer you were. From 16-19, you worked as a mercenary and killed for money.

You craved emotional validation from someone because you were so deprived of it when you were a child. You struggled to form relationships with others because of it too. That was one of the main reasons why you were not as close to the team.

Bucky would always smile at you, or kiss you when you were excited about something you would accomplish. On missions, he would always stay near you unless instructed otherwise by Steve. 

Bucky has been extremely off recently, always working with Steve, or working out with Sam, helping Wanda train her new abilities because it’s hard to kill a super-soldier than a normal human. 

He had missed five Sunday dates. Five of them. In those five weeks, you barely saw him and it was driving you crazy. You constantly would search for the time where the two of you could just be alone. You were so deprived of physical touch and emotional love, you began to fall into a depressive state. 

You walked towards the conference room, you asked Friday where Bucky was. She said he was in the conference room alone which is weird that she specified.

You opened the door and found Bucky just sitting on his phone. It was almost 10:30pm and he was just chilling in the conference room on his phone.

“Baby, I’ve been looking for you,” You said, walking over to him and running your hands along his broad and muscular shoulders. He was always so tense when he was sitting hunched over.

He shrugged you off his shoulders and turned to look at you. Not a soft, loving kind of look that a lover would typically give his lover; he gave a harsh glare as if you had done something to him. 

“God, you are so fucking annoying, you know that,” Bucky said. He grabbed that hand that was touching you and stood up from his chair. He let go of your hand rather quickly as soon as he stood from the chair. 

“I can’t fucking stand being around you Y/n, I don’t know why I ever asked you to be my fucking girlfriend,” He said, lowering his face closer to your face so the two of you were at eye level. 

Tears pooled in your eyes, every word he said was like a thin blade stabbing you in the stomach over and over again. You did not know what you did wrong, you had not even seen him in almost a week despite living with him.

“I’m sorry Bucky, I’ll be better, what can I do to be better, please,” You whispered, if your voice were any higher, you would being sobbing. 

Bucky just watched as you pathetically tried to hold your sobs in. You really were a weak woman and Bucky knew that. He knew that he held you in the palm of his hand and if he wanted to, he could break you.

He watched as your world crumbled around you because Bucky had decided to hurt you. Your hands were shaking and curled into fists. Your nose was turning red from holding back your tears.

“You are nothing without me, and I don’t want you anymore, so get the fuck out of my face and leave. No one on the team likes you, they would rather see you dead than ever have to see your horrific face ever again.” Bucky snarled, ready to see you burst into tears.

He knew that was the last straw.

You quickly turned around and left before you burst into tears. Bucky grabbed your arm and tried to turn you around, wanting to see you cry. You were forced to turn around, tears in your eyes pulling your hand back and smacking Bucky on his cheek. 

You left him dazed in the conference room. You ran to your shared room, collecting all your belongings. You had a small apartment in the heart of Montreal that no one knew about. You deliberately left off your information given to FRIDAY.

“FRIDAY, get rid of all information regarding Y/N L/N” You requested.

“Request denied, reasoning: unauthorized access to function,”

“Override denial, code Tony Stark has a fat ass” You rolled your eyes at the code Tony had told you to be used as a last resort code.

“Permission granted, removing all information regrading Y/N L/N,”

You grabbed a piece of paper on your desk, writing a short goodbye to Tony knowing he would wonder where you went. You quietly walk over to Tony’s office and placed it on the monitor he mainly used.

You left the compound shortly after, walking seven miles to the small car you planted in the forest. You prepared this as a last resort option. You never wanted to use this car but times were desperate and you had to get away from Bucky.

++++

You were struggling, barely able to figure out how to live on your own. The money you had saved from working for the Avengers was running low and the waitress job you did have has barely enough to pay the bills you had. 

Montreal was really expensive you ended up realizing, with such a horrible job, you sold your apartment and moved in with some college students in a small house. You shared a bedroom with one of the women in the house. 

Ashley, your roommate, actually found the job for you, she helped you changed your appearance and spotted your money whenever you were desperate for it.

You had no skill set for an actual job, the only skills you had were killing. And your skills had developed rapidly as an Avenger. You knew what you had to do to survive.

The first kill that you had was a child trafficker in Toronto. Ashley covered for you, saying you two would go to a spa for a girl's weekend. She stayed at the spa while you finished the job. You gave her 20% of the income made. 

You two had gotten close over the two years that you spent in the shared house. She was one of the only people that you trusted at this point. She suggested that you started therapy, which you decided to actually go to.

Your therapist wanted you to start realizing that you were more than who you surrounded yourself in. You deserved the love that you craved and you could only get it when you truly loved yourself.

++++

Bucky was laying in the bed the two of you shared. Two years had passed since he had driven you out of his life. He didn’t know why he did it, he was so upset because he saw you flirting with Tony. But Tony got engaged to Pepper only a few days later. 

After nine months of you being away, he started to crave your presence in his life. He asked FRIDAY where you were but she had no information on you. When FRIDAY said she had no information on you, he had one of the biggest meltdowns he ever experienced. 

You were officially gone from his life. Even with all the winter soldier experience of tracking people down, he couldn’t find you. Bucky knew that you were smart, you could hide in plain sight if you wanted to. 

It was in Toronto that he saw you again. Bucky’s whole world stopped after he saw you. You were so different now. Your hair was completely different from what he was used to, and you dressed differently too. 

It took him two months to finally get you to speak to him.

“What do you want Bucky?” The way you used to speak to him was so soft, now you were so cold towards him. Bucky’s stomach churned, almost nervous to respond to you.

“Y/n, please come back, I’m sorry for everything I have done to you, everything I said was a lie. I still love you” Bucky pleaded to you. 

“Bucky I’m not the same woman I used to be, you broke me, I was so broken and I was the only one who fixed me. You don’t get to come back after I learned how to not live with you.” You shouted at him.

Tears pooled in Bucky’s eye, he had lost the one person who had shown him, true love. The one person he wanted to protect for the rest of his life. He lost you, forever.

[penebui]

Lgbt manga pt.1

If you had to put up with my sorry ass for a few years then yes you know that I have been searching for lgbt mangas!! I put up with the pain of going through most genres that sexualize/fetishize gender identities and sexualities (like yaoi and gender bender) and reading mangas to find if they have lgbt content so you dont have to suffer the pain of trying to! Clown on this post and please face my wrath

Keep in mind that these aren’t in order of ratings!! Its just a list. I also give summaries of the plot, the things that make it lgbt, and some content warnings!! 

1. Welcome to Room #305! by Wanan 

Kim Jung Hyun moves into an apartment (room #305) with a friend of a friend, named Kim Homo! Who (you guessed it) is gay! As Jung Hyung begins to live with Kim Homo, he slowly learns to accept him for his sexuality. Once he overcomes his homophobia and completely accepts him for who he is, other lgbt characters pop in too!! They all have their struggles with their identities, and it is very realistic, but the art style helps keep all that angst at bay! As far as english translations go, we have several lesbian characters, and a trans guy. You can read the english translation on several manga sites, but if you want the link to the original since this is a webcomic, here’s the [link]! Unfortunately english updates are very slow since translation teams have other projects, and legal companies who translate take their sweet precious time. 

2. Bokura no Hentai by Fumiko Fumi

The title might seem misleading, however it can be translated as “Our Transformation”! Buckle up buttercup cause this manga will fuck you over emotionally. Three crossdressers meet up after being in a crossdressing group, with different reasons as to why they crossdress. Parou crossdresses to fall in love with a straight guy, Marika is actually a trans woman, and Yui crossdresses as his dead sister to “help” his mother with her grieving. There are some other characters who don’t fit within the gender norms! 

Now let me tell you if you are dealing with some trauma and can’t handle very sensitive topics, this manga might not be the one for you. Although it isnt just homophobia and transphobia, it also contains content of sexual harrassment, pedophilia, and suicide. However these topics are not glorified or sexualized. They are trauma of some of the characters and they must learn how to overcome from it individually. However, there is a happy ending for them!! Please let that be known! I enjoyed reading it if sobbing your heart out counts as enjoying it, because it has indeed pulled my heart strings (although I am not a trans woman, I am a trans guy and I can identify with only some of the things Marika goes through, as trans women go through different experiences than trans men and have it harder on them.) 

3. Hourou Musuko (Wandering Son) by Takako Shimura

This manga is one of the most well known mangas realistically depicting trans identity. It became popular when an anime adaptation came out! However the anime adaptation only covers the middle school part of our protagonists lives, however it encourages you to read the manga to find out what happens to them and their life! We have two protagonists. Shuichi who identifies as a girl, and Yoshino who identifies as a boy. Shuichi is the primary protagonist while Yoshino serves as a secondary protagonist. 

This manga also realistically depicts how hard it is for transfeminine people to come out and be themselves while transmasculine people seem to have it easier (dont clown on this dear fuck). We have lesbian, gay, and genderfluid characters galore! Although they do have some touchy topics like transmisogyny and transphobia in general, it is less heavier than Bokura no Hentai.  

Some people might not like the outcome of this story when it comes to Yoshino, however I am content with it because it shows that people should be able to explore their gender identity, and they are welcome to change it anytime as they see fit. Sometimes you won’t figure out your identity if you don’t explore. 

4. Shimanami Tasagore / Our Dreams at Dusk by Yuhki Kamatani

Also one of the more well known ones, the mangaka of this beautiful story is X-gender and asexual! It follows the protagonist, Tasuku is contemplating suicide as rumors circulate that he is gay at his highschool (he is). He sees a woman jumping off a building nearby and runs to her aid. Her name is Anonymous/Somebody and she sees herself is asexual but other than that she does not like labels, she invites Tasuku inside the building she just jumped off, which contains a group of exclusively lgbt characters. 

We have both trans, lesbian, and gay people. We see their struggles. We see how they overcome it. We see how even we ourselves can harm others even if we’re both lgbt. Of course there is homohpobia, transphobia, etc. however it is all handled perfectly and we get the satisfaction of these characters speaking up for either themselves or for each other. I also love Anonymous simply because she doesn’t like labels and chooses not to use them (excluding the asexual part). Not everyone whos part of the lgbt community has a label, however they are still a part of us! 

5. Fukakai na boku no subete o (Fukaboku)/ Love me for who I am by Konayama Kata

Fukaboku is a very special manga to me, as it goes in depth on gender identity and sexuality. There are two protagonists, Tetsu who is a cis guy and supposedly straight (we later find out that he is not), and Mogumo, who is both intersex and nonbinary. 

Tetsu works as a chef at Question Cafe, and everyone employed in fanlations are called girlyboys, however in the official translation they use otokonoko which is anyone crossdressing as a girl regardless of their gender. There are plenty of transwomen, gay people, etc.! Tetsu falls in love with Mogumo, so he isn’t straight, however he isn’t explicitly gay because he recognizes Mogumo as what they identify as, nonbinary. It is safe to say that he could either be pan, bi, omni, etc. however we can’t confirm since it hasn’t been explicitly stated.

We learn how transfeminine people have certain struggles, like shoes that dont fit them, breasts, and voice feminization. We also have a dose of family struggles when it comes to Mogumo in later/current chapters. 

Before you dm me, yes. Yes I know about the shit prequel. The prequel actually features a gay couple in fukaboku. I have read it. Reluctantly even if it was only 24 pages. However just because the prequel is shit does not mean we should cancel Fukaboku. There is a thing called being critical of the content you’re enjoying. If we treated it like cancel y because of x, then things like persona 4 and danganronpa would be cancelled, but lets not get into that. 

6. Kanojo ni Naritai Kimi to Boku by Umi Takase

I haven’t heard of this one as much as I have the others, so I was very much pleased when I heard about this! There are two protagonist (yes there are a lot of lgbt mangas with two protags I’ve noticed too), Hime and Akira. Hime has a crush on Akira, who identifies as a girl. However this manga is also realistic, as Akira doesn’t fully ‘pass’ as a girl herself. Hime wants to do anything she can to help Akira feel comfortable on her first day of school wearing a girl’s uniform. Because of Akira being made fun of, Hime shows up to school in Akira’s male uniform to help Akira in solidarity. 

Their teachers are fully aware of Akira’s situation, however instead of discriminating her they accept her. Their homeroom teacher helps Hime overcome her internal problem about lashing out at others who try to befriend Akira, and she slowly realizes that just because people can’t accept Akira straight away, they will slowly get used to her and come to terms with the fact that Akira is trans in their own time rather than have it being forced on them.

Hime and Akira make friends slowly and we see that even little things (like calling Akira cute and/or a girl) helps Akira, even if theyre small things we dont usually notice. Hime also struggles with her crush as she sees Akira as a girl, yet she cant accept the fact that shes attracted to girls. 

Although Akira doesnt feel the same way as Hime does, she doesnt just like her as a friend, but also not as a lover either. Its safe to say that these two have a quasiplatonic relationship with each other. 

7. Yuzu no Koto by Arai Shou

I have noticed that there are plenty of mangas with transfeminine characters as the focus, rather than transmasculine, so heres one for the transmasculines! Ichigo’s best friend Yuzu comes back to school, however he is enrolling as a boy! It is very humorous as Ichigo tries to understand and get used to her best friend’s new identity. Although it is slow as each chapter is a single page, it is hinted that Yuzu has a crush on Ichigo (or if thats just me squinting really hard). 

8. Ohana Holoholo by Torino Shino 

It is a story about two bi women who are ex-girlfriends, raising one of the women’s baby together as a little family! There is also an idol/actor who helps them out and visits them occassionally! If you want something warming and wholesome, this is the manga for you!! 

9. My Androgynous Boyfriend by Tamekou

Wako, a woman who works for a publishing company is in a relationship with an androgynous/genderless man! Her boyfriend wears dresses, makeup, and is an instagram model! It is not necessarily treated as crossdressing. It is handled pretty well, and the chemistry between Wako and her boyfriend is very strong. They both love each other so much and help each other with their hobbies and interests. This is what a loving and healthy relationship is supposed to look like!!

10. Inside Mari by Shuzo Oshimi

It is debatable if this is actually considered lgbt, considered the circumstances, however I put it on this list because it shows how mental illnesses and disorders really feel to the person whos suffering from it. Please read throughout this whole section to understand why. 

Inside Mari is about a man named Isao who stalks this young girl named Mari. He follows her back outside of a little convenience store, but when she turns back and looks at him he wakes up inside her body and doesn’t know how to cope with it. He tries to find Mari while putting on a facade and living as her. He meets a girl named Yori who instantly recognizes that Isao isn’t actually Mari from his mannerisms. This girl has had a crush on Mari, just like Isao. Isao tries to prove to Yori that he switched bodies, and when he goes to his apartment, he finds someone living as him, but it isn’t Mari.

The more we delve into this manga, the more we figure out exactly what happened to Mari and Isao. As Isao and Yori visit and retrace his steps, Isao gets flashbacks to memories of Mari. Isao soon realizes that he isn’t actually the real Isao, but a introject of Isao, and that Mari actually has DID because of childhood trauma. The ending is bittersweet, as Mari comes back but Isao unfortunately becomes dormant/disappears since I don’t think what happened was them merging. 

11.  Seibetsu  "Mona Lisa" No Kimi He by Yoshimura Tsumuji 

In the world, people can choose what gender they want to be when they’re 12. When they’re 14 their appearance corresponds to their gender. Hinase however, is 18 years old and they still haven’t chosen a gender. They prefer to be neither. However when their two best friends suddenly confess to them, their hormonal development suddenly starts to increase. 

Imagery and symbolism is very clear in this manga!! As we revolve around the color blue/cyan and the debate and interpretations of Mona Lisa’s gender. I’m very hopeful that Hinase will stay as nonbinary rather than choosing a gender, simply because both of their best friends confessed and asked them to become the opposite gender to be with them. It is very much hinted that Hinase will be in a romantic relationship with their male best friend however. I love this manga simply because the protagonist doesn’t want to identify as either male nor female. 

12. Jun And Kaoru: Pure And Fragrant by Neiki Zui

Jun and Kaoru have a special condition, by midnight they both switch genders. Because they both have this condition, they hang out with each other and help each other with clothing, etc. It should be addressed that these two do not have the “I wish to be a girl/boy” etc. The problem that they have though is their growing crush on each other. They are either genderqueer, or genderfluid, or whatever you prefer since it isn’t directly stated within the manga. They’re not cis or straight! It is a very fun and comedic love story and I wish to see further updates on it!!! 

13. Sakura-Chan to Amane-Kun by Asazuki Norito 

This story revolves around Sakura who identifies as a girl and Amane who identifies as a boy. Amane spots Sakura dressed as a girl and instantly recognizes her, however instead of belittling her he asks her out on a date, only if she goes as a girl. During school however, they have to pretend to be the gender theyre assigned with while not interacting with each other. 

Since there is a lot more but I dont want to break tumblr, I will be making a part 2 and I’ll post it tomorrow! 

[karofsky]

Urgent Life Update: We Need Help.

I feel like I’ve done nothing but serve bad news for months now, but it’s something I’ve unfortunately just come to terms with being the normal.

Amidst my recent and ongoing health issues, our personal traumas and losses, and our already poor financial situation due to many collective issues, my girlfriend was just laid off from her job that would have made us okay. We are now both unemployed for factors outside of our control.

We are now facing eviction, our amenities being cut off, fear being sent to collections, and a cut to our renters credit and personal credit scores. RE: Help-- My parents are in the middle of a messy and expensive divorce, and her family cannot provide any financial help or space for us. Our complex is the cheapest in the area, but we can’t afford a down payment to move regardless. None of our friends can house us, either because of a space issue or our pets.

We plan to be okay next month. We have to be, and our working our asses off to get there. We just have so much to pay this month that shouldn’t have been a problem and now is, and frankly, we are drowning.

To ease any worry, we are okay on food. Neither of us are starving, though we admit to being more cautious with how much we eat. We have two very good friends that have been providing for us over the last few months, and are very fortunate because of it. 

I feel the need to be open about what any financial help will be spent on, so-- our rent, our phone bill, our internet bill, our utilities, our small credit debts from past bill payments, my medicine and hospital bills, and my work portfolio (which is my only source of income atm). Basically, bills. But I wanted to be clear, and honest: we are just two people in an unfortunate situation.

So, whether it be a reblog, a shoutout, or a financial contribution, we really appreciate it. Honestly. Neither of us are okay, and we already feel so indebted to everyone that has helped us in the last few months. But it’s appreciated.

PAYPAL: 

paypal.me/MadelineBrooks

paypal.me/KaitLikesCereal

VENMO:

starkurt

kaitlikescereal

Commissions have been my only source of income these last few months, and are always open --

http://starkurt.com/art

http://starkurt.com/commissions

My girlfriend makes lovely props and costumes, and does take commissions for them as well --

https://www.instagram.com/kaitlikescereal/

(She made a really cool shield recently; you should ask her about it)

Thank you all again, for so much.

Breakdown of the last ~4 months under a cut, just as some more background (or if you need proof, or a sob story, or whatever. I’ve never done this before.)

I left my then fairly longterm job because I received an offer for a fulltime position at another company. I liked my job, but the company was a mess, and my hours were being cut alongside the thousands of other employees. (Worked for the Mouse, if you were curious)

The second day I was at my new place work, I got permission to leave on my lunch because I was very ill and had a fever. I went to urgent care, and ended up having a sweltering 104 degree fever. I let my boss know I would be out the rest of the day and the next, and he approved. The next day, I received a text from my boss that the head boss “didn’t think my attendance was what they were looking for” (remember, it was my second day, and I had a dangerous fever, which both she and my supervisor were made aware of), and was promptly fired.

Spending 10 days bedridden with a fever that would only break for a few hours a day, I soon found out the company had never submitted any of my legal information, which means I was never officially employed despite working, and because of that I couldn’t submit for unemployment.

Shortly after, my girlfriend, who had been on a state mandated, legally approved disability for her physical and mental health, was illegally fired by her employer for “self termination”. We did seek legal action, but could not pursue it immediately due to our new financial stress.

After recovering for a month (as I could not physically leave the bed/couch), I began applying for jobs again, and had a few interviews. Most were promising but fell flat. I’ve been applying to jobs every day since, and have only seen any improvement once I changed my name (

My girlfriend started a new job which promised her a raise within a few weeks, which turned into a few months. Her wage was not as promised and we were broke for 3 months as I continued to struggle.

I ended up in the ER twice-- once in June, then once in July. The first was an entirely traumatic experience that forced me to undergo about 15 tests and biopsies, and I was left confusing every doctor as to what had caused it. I was fine following it, though was mentally put off because of the later developing fear of something more. My second trip was brought on by what I had thought was a heart attack from my stress, then once the panic settled, believed it was horrible food poisoning. I went in, was on IV and got more scans and tests, and with no results, was discharged with food poisoning. The next day I burst into a 102 degree fever and continued to be violently sick the week following, which only put me out of jobhunting again. It passed, but it left me with a gastro issue that I am continuing to deal with.

During this, my girlfriend had started her training for her promotion, all while being promised a raise and reimbursement for our phone and internet bills, since she was working from home 90% of the time. Once it came time for her to finish her training, take her certification test, and get promoted, her employers ghosted her for about a week, and then eventually let her know she was being let go due to budget cuts, and that they did not have the money to pay her. They still have not paid either our internet or our phone bills despite their constant promises, and both bills have now racked up multiple months of late fees because they were never taken care of.

So yet again, we are both unemployed and broke, but now have nearly $2000 of bills to pay, which doesn’t include my hospital bills which have only just started coming in.

Truly, if you can help in any way, it’s appreciated. We have been each other’s support systems these last two and half years, and losing our home and potentially all of our credit we’ve built up right before trying to move and get married will destroy us. We have both had so much loss and negativity, not even just these last few months, and we are just trying our best to continue seeing the good in life.

[grace-is-forever]

Sleepless nights part 2

Who knew that after a few months of Jeremy staying at my house I'd start develope feeling for him. Sure, he'd be really flirtatious but thats just Jeremy.

"You know he likes you right?" Michael whispered beside me. School had just recently started back up due to the weather. So much snow! "No he doesn't. Thats just his personality." I scoffed at him. I really wish he did though.

I turned and exited the conversation slowly when i tripped and fell. "OWW!" I yelled. I landed on my knee. It didnt help that my right knee was already messed up. Now I'll be back in the stupid brace for weeks.

Time passes and its time for theater. Weird, Jeremy wasnt there. Oh well.

"Art thou gone so? love, lord, ay, husband, friend!

I must hear from thee every day in the hour,

For in a minute there are many days:

O, by this count I shall be much in years

Ere I again behold my Romeo!"

I read aloud. I know Romeo and Juliet. Typical high school play. I was cast as the role of juliet and to no surprise Jeremy was Romeo. It felt almost unnerving to be his love Interest. I went home an hour later, after staying to practice. When i got home i confonted Jeremy. "Hey, why werent you at school?" I asked. School is always boring without him. "I just needed to think, but the real question i have is why are you limping?" Confuson plastered on his face. Being completely honest i forgot about my knee sure it hurts but i didnt realize i had a limp. "i fell before history." The worst class so my pain didnt make it any better. "Youve always been extremely clumsy." He stated as got up to grab my brace off my dresser. "And to honest." He paused. "Its kinda cute. A blush apparent on his face and probably mine to. "I wish i wasnt. It'd be nice to go out without some kind of injury." He helped me put on my brace and helped me up. The familiar feeling coming back to me. We stayed at home rehearsing our lines for the rest of the day. The next day at school Jeremy stayed really close to me to watch over my knee. As the classes passed theater came and today was the iconic balcony kiss. I really wish i wasn't so nervous about it. "Dont worry Y/N, its just a kiss." I thought to myself. "With someone you really like, maybe even love." My hands started shaking and breathing became difficult. My vision stared to fade and i ran out of the room before blacking out completely. Y/N? Are you okay? I heard someone ask. Slowly everything came back into my vision. "What happened?" I asked slowly. Jeremy was infront of me and began explaing that I blacked out. I started crying after that. "Im an idiot." i said between sobs. Letting myself freak out about something that will never happen. "I'm sorry, tell everyone I'm not feeling good and that I'm going home. I gave him a goodbye hug and ran out of the building. I ran faster than i ever have. I unlocked my door and threw myself on the bed and sobbed until nightfall. Jeremy woke me up thr next morning early. "Lets get some coffee before school." I agreed to it. Got dressed, brushed my teeth, and said put on my knee brace. We got to the school and i brought jeremy to the theater so we could practice since we both got a free period.

"Romeo, Romeo, where fort art thou Romeo?

I questioned and we continued practice the kiss was about to happen and i got my self mentally prepared.

We leaned in and our lips met. It felt as electricity was flowing through us. We pulled apart and he forgot his lines after that.

"Im sorry, but I've wanted to do that ever since i met you in the park a few months ago and you let me stay with you."

I kissed him again. This one was more drawn out and more passionate. "Jeremy i've had the biggest crush on you since 7th grade. I love everything about you. One more kiss was shared then we parted was to go to class. I couldnt really focus all i could do was think of was the kiss. Yhe class passes and its time for the one of the last practices before our performance. Onve again the kiss happened and in the background i could hear Mr. Reyes awwing. "That was really good you guys. I could feel the emotions you showed. Really impressive! We thanked him and began walking home considering drama was our last class. We walked through the park that we officially met at. We sat at the swings talking. A few hours passed and it was soon getting dark. I looked down at my phone, 10:17. "I think we should head back to the house its getting late. He nodded and we began to walk back. We decided to stay up watching movies on the couch. 3 movies passed and i looked over and jeremy was asleep. So peaceful and fragile. I kissed him on the cheek before heading off to bed. As an hour past i found myself restless. Sleep was something that wasn't in my vocabulary. I got up and headed out for my normal spot. The park. Since no one was out i took is an opertunity to let some emotions out the only way i knew how to. Drawing. I grabbed my sketchbook and began drawing the surrounding areas along with a little personal touch. Two people sharing a kiss by the tree. "I knew I'd find you out here." I jumped out of my thoughts and quickly closed my book. "Oh hey Jer." I said. "You should be asleep, go back inside." I told him. "So should you." He replied back. He held out his hand which i accepted. He led me back to the house and i got in bed putting sketchbook on the dresser next to the bed, and fell asleep. Jeremy was still getting ready for bed and took a look through my journal and saw the sketch i did earlier. He was in awe of the drawing. He couldnt take it anymore. He woke me up and before i could question his lips were on mine. He kissed me with as much passion he could muster up. We pulled apart and finally spoke. "I saw the drawing. I looked, i shouldn't have but i did." I shot up immediately after. I grabbed my skethchbook and held it tight. "Not cool Jer!" I whined. "Is that the only thing you saw?" I asked giving up any secrets i had. "Yeah thats all i saw. Is there more?" He asked. I nodded and found a page at the back of the book and read it to him.

"As life progresses, I'm bound to make mistakes, to see hard times. Every low comes with a high. Somewhere in the future i'll see what I can truly be. I may be scared and a little doubtful, but in the long run I know I'll be ok.

I knew that when i met you i knew who i was. Everything was clear. I wasnt scared of anything else but losing you. I see nothing but hope now that i have you. I love you more than anything."

He hugged me right after listening to that. "Do you really feel that way." I nodded and grabbed his hands. "I always have." I leaned over and kissed him again. "Promise me you won't look through my stuff anymore?" I asked him. "I promise but you should teach me how to draw cause youre incredibly talented." I smiled at him and layed back down. "Good night Jeremy. I love you." I told him before falling asleep. "Good night Y/N, i love you too. He replied pulling me against him. He pressed one last kiss to my forehead before he fell asleep.

After a day full of confessions and love. It was anything but a sleepless night.

This is the brace I had. I don't know where I put it. Every other brace I have is horrible compared to this one.

@broke-ass-potterhead I hope you enjoy! 💙

[rootfauna]

A Handmaiden’s Tale. Specifically, Mine.

I’e been debating on whether or not to make this post for a while now, and I’ve decided that the benefits of saying my piece outweigh any hate I’ll get for this. It’s really long but I have no more fucks to give. 

I am so, so, sick of the trend in radical feminism of calling women who aren’t radical feminists “cocksuckers” “wastes of time” “dick riders” “sellouts” “cowards” and “handmaidens”. Anti feminist women and liberal feminist women can be incredibly annoying and have made me want to put my head through a wall, and I honestly can’t blame anyone for making a snide remark about them here or there. But I absolutely cannot wrap my mind around the fact that a group of women who supposedly A) understands the misogyny of using a woman’s (real of hypothetical) sexual interactions with a man as an insult against her, B) acknowledges the realities of female socialization in a patriarchal society and C) understands the potential dangerous outcomes of a woman speaking up against misogyny, can go around unabashedly talking about women this way. Every time I scroll through my dash I’ll come across at least one post lamenting how young girls are indoctrinated into believing their worth lies in their beauty, femininity, and (hetero)sexuality. Why then, do I see so much vitriol directed at the ones who believed it? 

The last time I spoke about this I was accused of ‘making it all about myself’ because I shared a snippet of my personal experience. Well, I’m about to share more than a snippet. Yet this isn’t about me, and I will be the first one to tell you that I am nowhere near unique in this sense. So I guess this is actually the experience of thousands and thousands of women, this is just how it happened to me:

To start with, y’all need to understand where I grew up. If the ‘y’all’ wasn’t a big enough clue, I grew up in bumfuck nowhere USA. Here’s another fact that’s vital to my story: I was born in 1991. That fact, coupled with my geographic location, meant that when I started school in 1996, corporal punishment was still legal (to be carried out by the principal) and up until around that time my mother could still legally sign documents as “mrs” *insert my father’s name*. 

Growing up in this environment meant that gender roles were highly enforced around me and that at an early age I saw deviance from them met with hatred and scorn. I could name plenty of examples, but really, haven’t we all seen that? Even the respectable women who dared not be housewives never rose to a more prominent position than a teacher, bank clerk, or selling Mary Kay. Before the age of about 10 I have absolutely no memory of seeing a woman in a position of skill and power beyond these things except for Terry Irwin on tv. It might be noted that I grew up wanting to be a zookeeper. I don’t remember the first time I heard the word “feminist” but from my earliest recollection it was not a good word. Then, as today in my neck of the woods, “feminist” is an insult. I can remember sitting in the back seat of the car listening to my father and his friend ranting about something they heard on the radio about how “the feminists” (word spat out like tobacco juice) were ruining something or other. It was clear to me that whatever these feminists were, they were bad. 

Things really kicked into gear once I got into middle school. What had been a vague concept in the back of my mind was now pulled to the front of the classroom. I distinctly remember sitting in 7th grade biology and learning about the inherent differences between male and female brains. The teacher explained how our brains were wired differently, and that male brains were designed so that logical and analytical thought came naturally to them, but expressing emotion and communicating did not. This, the teacher said, is why men often erupt into fits of anger rather than say how they feel. On the other hand, female brains were designed to have ease of communication, and to be more aware of our own emotions and those of others. They were not designed for quick, logical, rational thinking. Don’t get me wrong; it was never taught to me that women were incapable of logical, rational, thinking, just that we were biologically at a disadvantage to men in that regard. I tried (like other girls in the class) to have some pride in my lady-brain. I’m wired to be better at something than a boy! Ha! Though it was around this time I began to shift my focus away from scientific pursuits and towards the arts. 7th grade was also the beginning of outright public sexual harassment that no adult seemed to give a shit about. There was “thong Thursday”, for example. We 12-13 year old girls were encouraged by the boys to wear thongs and lean over so that they could see the tops of them, or to wear our jeans low enough for them to peek over. This happened openly in the halls, but never once addressed by the adults. And woe to any girl who spoke out about it. That much feared “feminist!” accusation could be hurled at her, and she’d be publicly humiliated and mocked, and no one would dare help her lest they be feminist by association. There was also ‘grab-ass Wednesday’ which makes absolutely no sense but is exactly what you’re thinking. 

The official school lesson on male and female brains resurfaced again, this time in 10th grade sociology class. This time in addition to the physical differences in the brains, we learned about inherent differences in behavior and societal roles. It was honestly something taken straight from some MRA’s drivel; men evolved to be the Strong Hunter Protector of the species, brain different, this why big words make man ANGRY he hit you because his brain can’t make his mouth talk feelings he want to BREED. Woman want BABY lots of emotions need man to protec blah blah blah. To us at this point, all of this was objective fact. Also at this point, the effects and impact of female socialization were starting to become disgustingly apparent. Around this time the security officer at the school was fired for ‘having sex’ with a fourteen year old freshman. It was so SCANDALOUS because...what a SLUT! It would not occur to me until YEARS later that maybe sex between a 14 year old girl and the adult male security officer hired to protect her was...uh, rape. As high school continued, so did the development of our female anti-feminism. I’ve seen radfems on here discuss how men are socialized to think that their thoughts and emotions are objective fact, but I’ve never seen it pointed out that women are socialized to believe so, too. As interactions with boys became more frequent their attention became more and more prized. When a boy said “you’re beautiful” or “you’re not like the other girls” or “you’re smart” it was seen as a pure and shining compliment, a shining nugget of truth. If a girl said the same thing? You never knew, she could just be two-faced, she would change her mind in a matter of seconds, or just be on her period. Of course, we began to strive to receive more compliments from boys because what teenager DOESN’T want to be respected and valued by their peers? 

By the end of high school several of my peers were married and/or had a baby already. I had intended to go to school for journalism, but in a sudden fit of either teenage rebellion or wisdom, I took the plunge into working with animals. This saw me moving about a thousand miles away from my home town, my parents, friends, and all forms of social support. As it turns out, animal training and handling, particularly dog training and handling, is an incredibly male dominated field. Even compared to my previous life experience, it was extremely misogynistic. I found myself working long shifts at night, often with only male coworkers who were near universally older, larger, and stronger than I was. Here, I was expected to laugh it off when one of them said that if the world were about to end, the first thing he’d do was rape me. Or when my boss joked about raping me. Or when one of them (more or less out of nowhere) said that he didn’t think there would ever be a female president because “when I think “president” I think “man””. I did what I was supposed to do and took some satisfaction in their approval despite my first, suppressed, twinge of discomfort. In a strange city, in a strange area of the country, sleeping during the day and working long hours, I had little elsewhere to look for friendship and social interaction. So I made friends. Long night shifts with no one else to talk to and little else to do will do that to people. Of course, I wasn’t the ONLY woman at my place of work. I was friendly with the other women but the lifelong effects of being socialized to view women as inferior kept any of us from growing too close to each other. After all, despite growing up elsewhere they had similar upbringings. When they weren’t present the men openly chatted about who they thought the woman had slept with, how smelly her vagina must be, what her nipples probably looked like, and I held my tongue still under the delusion that if I was Good and Not Like the Other Girls, they wouldn’t speak like that about me behind my back. Feminism was only mentioned to mock women, or, more importantly, to bring up how the the country was sexist against men. The men lamented about how “in this country a man can’t be raped I guess” and “female special privileges” and “the DRAFT” and I believed them, because I didn’t have much of a reason or incentive not to. Women were viewed and treated as walking cries of rape unless they laughed when groped. 

I called one of these male friends one night, in tears. My kitten, a tiny little thing named Ginkgo, had escaped from my apartment and I pleaded with him to help me search for her. He came over and we searched in vain for her. I was heartbroken, sobbing, and desperate for comfort and when the hug I was given became lustful I tried to refuse. He argued that I had woken him up in the middle of the night to come all the way to my home to look for a lost kitten; I owed it to him. That it wasn’t fair for me to refuse him and that it was selfish of me to expect compassion and company for nothing in return. And at that time in my life, I believed him. It was only fair. Afterwards, alone in my apartment, I was confronted with the reality that the only reason anyone would ever show me compassion, love, or kindness was because I was female and therefore potential sex. At the time, I was beginning to realize I was asexual (though it would be many years before I had a word for it). It was like I had been shown that my worth, my worthiness of love and life, and all my achievements were housed in my sensuality and sexuality. And I didn’t posses either. Dark times, I tell ya. Of course, there was no chance of me seeking sympathy from any female friends or acquaintances for what took place. Years later when a man in a bar shoved his finger inside me and I smashed a beer mug over his head I was berated by my female companions for overreacting and ruining the night. Further blows to any sense of being anything other than “woman” came in the form, ironically, of my achievements. I excelled at dog handling, particularly scent detection and received many an award for it, each time being told by my male peers that the only reason I received it was because I was a woman. I took my awards with a pinch of shame, believing I had taken it from a more deserving man. 

 It was around this time I first dipped my toes in the shallow end of feminism. I got a Tumblr! I was about 23. The internet wasn’t too big a thing when I was growing up and I got my first social media account when I was 17, the year I moved out. Until I logged onto the blue hell site, I didn’t use the internet outside of facebook (with only my irl friends there to form an echo chamber) and looking up definitions of words. Now, for the first time, I discovered that feminism wasn’t taboo everywhere. Fascinating! Of course, the “feminism” I found was pretty much identical to the patriarchal world I lived in, just with more lipstick. But it was a step. Secret radfem blog? Shit, I had a secret libfem blog and was still terrified of being found out by people I knew. I had good reason, too. When I tried to, very tentatively, voice some opinions that were not male-approved, I was met with swift and immediate backlash. I mentioned to a male coworker that I didn’t want children, which ended with him screaming at me to go out and have a hysterectomy right now if I really didn’t want any because I was being stupid and of course I wasn’t serious otherwise I’d just rip my uterus out. Or when I voiced concern over that one politician that said women should be forced to deliver stillbirths naturally because that’s what happened on his farm and was publicly berated for being a crybaby and a little girl, freaking out over ‘one weird fluke’. Still, I grew more and more interested in feminism. I spent a year deeeep in the libbiest-of libfem glitter-choked hells until one fateful day: I saw a study that proved there was no such thing as brainsex. 

My entire perception of reality was irreparably shattered. Over the course of a few days, I was forced to realize that I had been lied to my entire life. I had been lied to by my teachers and the adults in my life as a kid, I was forced to realize how deeply sexist and inappropriate the boys at schools were being, that I was taught in school to excuse male violence as not their fault, that no one ever owed anyone sex, that what my coworkers and ‘friends’ were saying was blatantly false and not ok, that I was just as capable of pursuing a scientific field as a man, to realize just how much the most important people in my life really hated me. And I was forced to confront the fact that I had backed myself into a corner, cut off any escape routes, and that I relied on the acceptance of these men for my safety and job security. That made the next few years......uncomfortable. And yet, bit by bit, little by little, I’ve pulled myself away from that world and set up a new life for myself. I’ve said goodbye to a lot of people. I’ve hurt a lot. I’ve cringed a lot. The antifeminist keyboard smashing seen on radfem posts is something I could have (and probably would have) typed myself back then, safe in the conviction that I was right. 

“No one held a gun to your head and forced you to be an antifeminist” I’ve been told. That’s true, I guess. At nine, after riding my bike to the one small library in town I could have checked out a book by Dworkin (whom I’d never heard of) from the feminist section (which may or may not have existed) instead of Animorphs. I could have walked around shouting “hey, anyone want to be a feminist so I can see how it’s done?” to try and find someone to look up to. I could have, upon getting internet in my late teens, immediately googled “how to be a feminist”, but I didn’t so my bad. Certainly there were girls who grew up in similar circumstances who were always feminists, and certainly there are women who grew up with outlets for feminism that are antifeminist, but I feel my story is a much more common one and in the end at least I made it. I think most radfems have had a libfem phase and I think most of us would cringe at it, but in so many ways I’m grateful for it. Not only did it introduce me to the movement that would change my life, but it was inviting and welcoming. I cannot, and DO NOT want to imagine what would have happened if, seeking to find voice for my discomfort, I had come across radical feminism first and saw the words that were beginning to cut so deeply echoed by the women who claimed to be for women. Cocksucker. Waste of time. Stupid. Coward. Being told I ‘lapped it all up’. The thought of it really makes me uncomfortable, and I think the only message it all would have sent was “Your entire world is against you and hates you but also you wanted it and it’s your fault.”. 

I see radfems speak often about non western women and how they face and view sexism. It’s quite universally accepted that non western women are acutely aware of biological sex and wouldn’t stand for this gemgender floridesexual nonsense and that’s lauded as a sort of....kinship I guess. When I see radfems speak about non western women in this way, I feel they have a sense of kinship with them, like they’re one of the radfem crowd. I wonder, however, what the women who grew up and lived in those environments would really think about everything radical feminism stands for? Surely some would agree completely, but how often do you see women in these situations agree that rape is sometimes (or always) the girl’s fault? Or that women should not be educated? Are they still our sisters, or cock sucking cowards? And is the extension of sisterhood dependent on their hypothetical ability to, if they hold these beliefs, listen to what feminists have to say and change their minds to agree? Let’s say the woman in your gifsets is presented with these resources and never changes her mind. What then? Even still I've seen it said that anti feminist women will never change so there’s no point in trying. I see libfems pointing to non western cultures with ‘other’ genders and saying ‘see? see? THEY agree with me! They’d agree with liberal feminism!’ and I see radfems pointing to non western women and saying ‘see? see? THEY agree with me! They’d agree with radical feminism!’ and I can’t help but see these cultures and women within them being pressed into an ideal of one argument or the other purely for internet posturing. 

I’m very disheartened to see the movement which once seemed so academic and helpful to me seeming to become a ‘cool girls’ club. Sisterhood, compassion, and help, but only for women who think the way we do. Others are there to be mocked. It’s eerily similar to the way we laughed at the ‘other’ girls in high school, completely full of ourselves and thinking we were so much better. 

When I think of anti feminist women, I see the little girl being told men were prone to violence instead of talking because that’s how they were built, I see the girl being called a whore for being raped by someone she was told to trust, and I see the women pitted against each other, who have never had a feminist role model, and the girls who harbor a strange feeling of discontent and isolation they can’t articulate. I don’t see wastes of time. 

If you’re still reading, thank you. 

[nth-generation-kpop]

When You Love Someone

Word Count: ~1900 Pairing: Changlix Requested by: @beeaaniee Summary: Soft movie date (any pairing)

Changbin knocked on the beat-to-hell metal door of Felix’s dorm, considering how much the building resembled a prison as he waited. The strongest visual of course was the chipping paint that looked like it came directly out of Orange is the New Black; but close runners up included the excessive amount of keys or access cards needed to get anywhere (bathrooms, elevators, stairways, study rooms) and the unnecessarily extensive sign in sheets visitors were required to fill out before the very clearly annoyed RA on duty would let you out of the lobby.

Still, it was fun to look at some of the things other people wrote in the “Reason for Visiting” section-- booty call, alien invasion, breaking up with my girlfriend. Tonight Changbin had written “movie date, if you must know,” his laptop squeezed in his backpack next to a box of M&Ms, a bag of microwave popcorn, and a change of clothes. Any other movie night he would have gone home after, but Felix’s roommate Jisung was out of town for the weekend. Changbin liked Jisung but in a dorm the size of a broom closet he always felt like he was running into somebody or just generally in the way. Once in a while Felix would want him to stay over, but he usually convinced his boyfriend to come home with him instead.

“MY TURN TO PICK SUCKER.” Changbin grimaced dramatically as the door opened, unable to keep a smile off his face.

“Please tell me we’re not watching--”

“The Proposal again? You bet we are! We haven’t watched it in months,” Felix said, grinning. Changbin leaned in for a quick kiss before stepping aside so Felix could close the door.

“Babe, we watched it last month, remember? The week after, you and Jisung did the dance at the semester kickoff student mixer and almost got us kicked out.”

Felix giggled to himself. “Hmm nope I don’t recall that, but if it had happened I’m sure it would have been hilarious. And very sexy.”

Changbin just rolled his eyes, opening his backpack and throwing the unpopped popcorn at Felix.

He caught it easily, frowning at the plastic as he tried to tear it open. “Are you staying over?”

Changbin realized he hadn’t been invited, he just assumed he’d be spending the night. “Is that okay?”

“Of course! I figured you would. How was your show last night? A Thirsty Thursday success?”

“Yeah, it was good. It’s still early in the semester so people aren’t spending their whole weekends cramming for exams. Pretty good turnout.”

That may have been… a bit of an understatement. SPEARB’s nights at the club were ranked second most popular all summer and while Changbin expected it to be a fluke, for his popularity to drop off when students flooded back to campus, that wasn’t the case. 5 weeks later he was still solidly in second place. Nearly all the others in the top 10 ranking the club manager kept backstage were actual DJ’s and producers, and he was the only underclassman. He was still half convinced it was dumb luck and people weren’t actually coming to see him-- he’d tell Felix eventually.

“That’s great! Can I come to your next show?”

“I can sneak you in backstage but you’re too young, they won’t let you in.” Felix pouted. “They let you in and you’re not 21.”

“I’m the exception.” The microwave beeped and Changbin pulled his laptop out while Felix searched for a bowl. “You better keep your gross Junior Mints on your side of the popcorn this time.”

“Excuse you? Junior mints are the peak popcorn snack” Felix argued.

“M&Ms are the peak popcorn snack, Junior mints get melted chocolate all over everything, it’s gross,”

“The M&Ms melt too!”

“Yeah, but the coating keeps the chocolate inside, not all over your popcorn.” Changbin winked at Felix. They had some form of this argument every time and Felix still hadn’t come up with a rebuttal to that point.

Felix glared, climbing onto his bed next to Changbin. “Let’s agree to disagree.”

Changbin hummed, leaning over to kiss Felix’s cheek. “Let’s.”

Having seen this movie a seemingly infinite number of times, Changbin opted to let his mind wander while munching on popcorn. It was a good movie, Felix’s favorite by far, but while his boyfriend never got tired of it he couldn’t quite say the same. Still, Changbin chose to indulge him because it made him happy. Lounging against Changbin’s side, Felix’s legs stretched out to the left so he was angled comfortably with his head on Changbin’s shoulder. All Changbin had to do was lean slightly to the left to kiss the top of his head. One of his arms was wrapped loosely around Felix’s waist, hand splayed open on his stomach. The bowl of popcorn sat in Felix’s lap, the right side peppered with M&Ms so Changbin could reach them. As much as they joked about the ‘my half of the bowl/your half of the bowl’ thing, they occasionally stole each others’ candy.

Sometime after the characters got off the plane in Alaska, Changbin was officially spaced out. He watched Felix instead of the movie for a while, the way his eyes lit up at his favorite parts and his cheeks bunched up when he smiled. He counted the freckles sprinkled across the bridge of Felix’s nose-- as cheesy as it sounds, he did it often. He moved his left hand to thread his fingers together with Felix’s, rubbing his thumb over the side of Felix’s palm. And he thought about how incredibly lucky he was to have this boy, this absolute dork who danced to Get Low with his roommate in the middle of a crowded room, who was a professional at wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, who had such a bright personality in contrast to his reserved one.

They met a semester ago, during Felix’s first ever week of classes at the University. They actually met through Jisung, though the boy could hardly claim matchmaker rights as he was entirely oblivious to them liking each other. Changbin invited Jisung to a party with Chan and the others, and Jisung brought Felix along to meet people. In no time, Woojin was mentioning that he and Felix had gotten close really fast-- he claimed to know the moment he saw them together that they were good for each other. It’s like you were in love at first sight. Changbin wasn’t so sure at first. Felix was just so bright and kind-- Changbin didn’t often attract bright and kind. His shyness and stoic personality made him seem a lot more severe than he was in reality. It wasn’t until someone pointed out that he smiled a lot more around Felix that he thought maybe it could work out, maybe Felix made him bright too.

Felix on the other hand was so terrible at flirting that he eventually just gave up with the pretenses. Seemingly overnight he went from being reserved and a little nervous around Changbin to being incredibly... hands on. Felix would light up when Changbin came into the room, pull him in for a hug, purposefully sit next to him in order to spend the whole time with an arm around his shoulder or a hand on his leg. It was a type of attention and affection given so freely that Changbin didn’t know what to do with it besides reciprocate as best he could.

Then one night he was walking back from the library when he spotted a familiar-looking bright orange duffle bag next to a familiar-looking figure on bench outside the dance building. On the off chance that it was his friend, he crossed the street. He found Felix doubled over, head in his hands, and it wasn’t until he was close enough for Felix to look up that he saw the street light reflect off Felix’s wet cheeks-- he was crying. Changbin sat on the bench next to him and, at a loss for how to comfort the boy, simply pulled him close and let him sob. He ran his fingers through Felix’s hair as the boy’s shoulders shook, rubbing his back until he felt Felix’s grip on his own shirt loosen and his breathing even out.

It’s so hard, Felix said. I’m not good enough, I’m so far behind everybody else. Everything went wrong today, just everything. Fine arts programs were competitive at this university, Changbin knew that stress first hand. The professors took a sink or swim mentality to them-- students were thrown into high level classes upon admission, they were given the same assignments regardless of year and expected to practice tirelessly. He recalled his first semester, when mean comments from upperclassmen and stiff criticism on his projects had him feeling so low that he didn’t know what to do. Chan pulled him out of that hole, gave him this same talk-- well, a similar one. Now, he fed Felix some gentle encouragement and walked him home. At the door, Changbin pulled him into another hug and spoke softly into his ear-- You’re so much stronger than you think you are, you’re so much more talented than you can see. I believe in you. This semester is a test, if you get through it you pass, and I know you can do it. I’m here for you. Something in his chest felt tight, almost painful as Felix walked into his building and disappeared around a corner. He wanted to take the pain away, he wanted life to be fair for Felix-- if anybody deserved better it was that sweet, bright boy. That feeling continued each time Felix texted him for encouragement or support, and Changbin hoped desperately that he was helping to make things better, even just a little.

Soon after, Felix received his first positive feedback on an evaluation. He’d been working even harder, putting in longer hours, and cultivating confidence in himself through sheer willpower. Changbin was waiting for him outside after his evaluation and Felix ran directly into his arms. As far as first kisses go, theirs was pretty good.  

When he noticed the bowl was empty Changbin set it aside and Felix shifted closer, pulling Changbin’s arms tighter around him and letting his head loll to the side. Changbin smiled, kissing his temple-- yes, he loved this boy.

It wasn’t until Changbin was halfway through planning out a set for his next time performing at the club that Felix finally noticed how disinterested in the movie he was.

“On a scale from one to ten, how bored are you?” Changbin smiled sheepishly.

“I’m with you, I’m not bored.” Felix rolled his eyes and Changbin smirked.

“We can watch something else? The Conjuring?”

“Baby, you hate horror movies,” Changbin said, squeezing Felix’s hand.

“Mmm, I don’t mind watching them with you, plus they’re your favorite.”

Changbin hummed. “Let’s finish this, my favorite part is coming up. Then we can watch something else.”

“Right, the breakfast in bed scene.” Felix tilted his head back to look up at Changbin, grinning.

“Shut up, it’s cute.”

“You’re cute.”

[gaiyofanfiction]

Too Late Pt 3

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Alternate Ending

J-Hope X Reader

Much Angst

A/N: Thank you all for the love! I was originally going to make this a three-parter but there would have been way too much for this chapter so it's now a four-parter. So don't worry, it's not quite over it. ;) Enjoy the next part! ~Yosei

P.S: Save Me Chapter 10 will also be out later today, so watch for that! Too Late Part 3:         Hoseok sits down on the couch, afraid he was about to fall over from shock. “S-She’s in love with me? It's really been 10 years?’

        Yoongi, Jungkook and Taehyung all nod. Hoseok takes a shaky breath. “W-Why didn't she ever say anything?”

        The three boys didn't hesitate, each one speaking right after the other.

        “You were always in a relationship.”

        “She was afraid of rejection.”

        “She didn't want to ruin your friendship.”

        Hoseok looks down at his hands. “Man, I didn't realize… Well, why didn't she give me a hint or anything?”

        Taehyung raised an eyebrow, “you're kidding, right?”

        Jungkook gives Hoseok a pitiful look. “Hyung, she has. Many times.”

        Hoseok shakes his head. “N-No, I would have noticed.”

        Yoongi sighs and sits next to him. “Remember that time when she asked you for help with one on one dance lessons? You said no, that she didn’t need help. But she found out you were dancing with some other chick, who also was a good dancer. All she wanted was to spend alone time with you. She felt hurt, that she wasn’t important to you.”

        Hoseok’s eyes shoot up to Yoongi. 'That was the reason she asked?’

        Yoongi continues. “And remember prom? She straight up asked you to go with her. As a date. But you thought she wanted to go as a friend. So you ended up dancing with a few other girls that night, leaving her to do nothing other than watch you.”

        With each word, his heart breaks more and more. But Yoongi doesn't stop there. “Hoseok, how many relationships have you been in in the last 10 years and how many has she?”

        Hoseok's eyes widen. He knew you went on a few dates but never anything serious. You've been making yourself lonely just because you wanted him?

        “No other guy compared to you in her mind. She tried but you were the only one she's ever had eyes for,” Jungkook said quietly.

        Taehyung narrows his eyes at his friend. “I don't know how you could have been so blind. It was blatantly obvious that she completely loved you. And we thought it was pretty obvious you felt the same. But now, I'm not so sure.”

        Hoseok shoots a glance over at Taehyung. 'Me? Love Y/N?’ It never crossed his conscious mind before. But now that he thinks about it, he always had something in his heart for you that wasn't there for anyone else.

        He quickly stands up, surprising the three boys. “No no no, what do I do? I wish I had known sooner! She couldn't have given up already. Please tell me there's still time!” He begs.

        Taehyung shakes his head. “Do you even know why she came to your house the other day? She wanted to finally confess her feelings to you. But instead, she sees another girl half naked in your apartment. I think that broke her enough to give up.”

        Hoseok is starting to panic. He’s done all this to you without even realizing it. “There has to be time left. She’s waited this long for me, can’t she just wait a few more minutes?”

        “Dude, I don't know if there’s any chance now. It's pretty obvious that she's getting tired of her heart breaking. Besides, you have a girlfriend.” Yoongi points out.

        Hoseok grabs his jacket and shoes to put on. “I don't care. I'll dump her if I have to. I need to get to Y/N now!”

        Jungkook raises an eyebrow at his hyung. “Why now? Why all of a sudden?”

        Hoseok smiles softly and looks at the youngest boy. “I didn’t realize it before but it’s because I think I love her too.”

        Before the other boys could say anything, he darts out the door, closing it behind him. The boys just stare at the door for a few seconds, not really sure what just happened.

        “Did he just admit to loving Y/N?” Jungkook asks shocked.

        Taehyung shakes his head. “Why was it all of a sudden he says he loves her? After all these years, he finally finds out and then just like that he loves her after he might officially lose her? That sounds way too sketchy.”

        Yoongi growls. “I don’t know. But I swear if he hurts her one more time with this, he's a dead man.”

        Jungkook looks at Yoongi worried. “Hyung…”

        Hoseok runs up to his girlfriend's house. As much as he doesn't want to hurt her, he has to do this. If he wants to be with you, he needs to finally stop being a Playboy. Without hesitation, he knocks on the door. He hopes he won't hurt her too badly. He hears footsteps and then the door opening.

        Mina peeks out and looks at Hoseok shocked. “O-oh! Hobi, what are you doing here?”

        Hoseok forces a smile on his face, “Mina, hey, um can we talk for a moment?”

        Suddenly he hears a thump and a muffled voice. He raises an eyebrow. “What's going on in there?”

        Mina closes the door more. “Oh! It's n-nothing! It’s just my cat!”

        Hoseok coughs awkwardly. “Um, Mina, you don't have a cat.”

        Hoseok’s ears perk up when he hears a male voice coming from the living room. “What are you doing with another man in your house?

        Mina shakes her head and grabs his hand, “it’s just my brother! He’s in town visiting me.”

        Hoseok chuckles coldly. “Mina, you don’t have a brother either.”

        Mine pouts and gives Hoseok her puppy dog eyes that he could never resist. “Hobi I-”

        It didn’t work this time. Hoseok raises his hand to stop her. “Save it. This just makes it so much easier to dump you. So, this is goodbye.” He turns on his heel, but stops. “Oh, and only Y/N can call me Hobi.”

        With a wave of his hand, he makes his way down the street to your house. He can finally tell you how he feels.

        “God, I'm like a fucking cliché,” you sigh into your tub of a ice cream. The last 24 hours, you've been trying to drown yourself in food. So far, it's not working.

        You hear an impatient knock on the front door. You stuff your face with another scoop of ice cream, not wanting to answer it. The knock came again, but this time louder. Groaning in annoyance, you walk over and open the door.

        “Yoongi I told you I don't want-” you freeze as you see that it wasn't Yoongi but an out of breath Hoseok on the other side of the door.

        Panting, he smiles at you. “H-Hey, Y/N.”

        You furrow your eyebrows, “Hoseok? Why are you here?”

        “You weren't answering any of my calls so I came here. I was so worried.”

        You clear your throat and look at the ground. “Well, as you can see I'm fine. Now if you could leave, I'd like to be alone.”

        You go to close the door but Hoseok sticks his hand in to stop it. “Y/N, please listen to me.”

        “About what?” You narrow your eyes at the boy you love.

        “I-I know you love me.”

        You whole body freezes and your arms drop to your side. It seemed like your whole world came crashing down. “Who the fuck told you? Yoongi? Jungkook? Taehyung? Oh, forget it. I’ll just kill all three of them.” You tried to retreat back into your house but he grabs your arm.

        'Just fucking spit it out, Hoseok. Before you chicken out.’ He thinks to himself. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he blurts out a little too loud.

        “Y/N I LOVE YOU TOO!”

        You immediately stop in your tracks. Your eyes widen as you look straight at him. “W-What?”

        Hoseok takes your trembling hand in his and looks straight into your eyes. “I love you, Y/N. I didn't realize it before but I do. So much.

        You couldn't believe this was happening. The man you have waited so long for. The only man you ever wanted to say those three words to you has finally said them.

        Tears well up in your eyes but you try to hold them back. “What about your girlfriend?”

        Hoseok smiles excitedly at you. “I broke up with her. She just wasn't the one for me. I had just found her cheating and-”

        “So that's it,” you interrupt Hoseok, confusing him. “I'm your backup choice.”

        Hoseok shakes his head, his smile disappearing. “N-No that's not what I mean at all!”

        You hold your hand up to stop him from continuing. “Don't. I don't want to hear it.” You laugh in a low, sarcastic tone. It scares him. “God, I waited 10 years for you to tell me you love me. And of course it's just because you're lonely.”

        Hoseok starts trying to speak again but you won't let him. “Hoseok, please leave.”

        His eyes widen in panic. “No wait, Y/N! Please don't shut me out now! Give me a chance!”

        You snarl at him, eyes sparkling with a medley of anger and pain. “I've had enough of getting my heart broken! I've had enough of being played a fool! I'm not a fucking second choice. Please Hoseok. LEAVE ME ALONE!”

        He's too stunned to move. You’ve never yelled at him like that before. It gives you the opportunity to quickly close and lock the door. You lean against the wooden door, tears threatening to spill.

        You hear Hoseok bang on the door. “Y/N, please let me in! Don't leave me, please!” You can hear the pleading in his voice. You slide down the door and curl into a ball. You let the tears escape, sobbing uncontrollably. Your panic attack shoots through the roof. Your shaking and your breathing becomes shallow. You've finally let him go. ‘Was it the right decision?’

        On the other side, Hoseok let's out a sob as he leans his back against the door and slides his body down. He can hear you sobbing and he could imagine your whole body trembling.

        He didn't know it, but you were leaning against the door also, back to back with him. It's like he's trying to hold you up. But this time, the door that separates the two of you, that you’ve spent 10 years trying to open, is finally locked. And what’s worse, that locked door is finally visible to him too. He was too late.

[Masterlist]

[diaryofanobsessivefangirl]

Masterlist of Ships Subtropes

Dynamic tropes

Puppy love

Romance between children.

Examples: Gendry x Arya, Arnold x Helga, Mike x Eleven, Shaoran x Sakura

Childhood Acquaintance

They meet when they were children, regardless of the frequency or how close they were. They may have been raised together, may have saw each other every now and then, or even just once.

Used to be Friends

Examples: Petyr x Catelyn; Erik x Christine; Mina x Lucy

Used to be Lovers

Couples that were officially together (At least had sex) before everything went to hell. Ships that only flirted, such as Anna/David (The Guest) and Jackson/Lisa (Red Eye) are not included.

Examples: Athos x Milady; Tom x Elizabeth (The Blacklist); Dolores x William

Love Makes You Evil

A character who was originally good but did things for love that turn him to the dark side.

Examples: Anakin, Petyr Baelish and Claude Frollo

Love Makes You Crazy

A character driven to the brick of sanity because of love.

Example: Claude Frollo from Notre Dame de Paris and Ram from Princess Daisy

Not So Different After All

Opposites/rivals/enemies that actually have many hidden similarities. They are canonically each other’s shadow and are compared as two sides of the same coin.

Example: Anne x Vincent, Steerpike x Fuchsia, Kylo x Rey, Jackson x Lisa

Love Beyond Death

Meeting in the after-life, meeting reincarnation or person coming back from the dead.

Example: Catherine x Heathcliff, Petyr x Catelyn, Dracula x Mina, Naraku x Kikyo

Dragging You to the Gutter with Me

A villain turns a heroine into a brutal lonely broken thing only he can understand what it’s like to be, and still she won’t come to him. So what keeps them together is also what keeps them apart. Read more.

Example: Naraku and Kikyo; Alina and Darkling; Petyr and Catelyn; Dolores and William

In Love with the Mark

A man who works for some really big, bad guys. He may or not believe in their ideology; that is not the point. He is there for the money and he prides himself of his professionalism. For some reason, this organization working on the shadows have “business” to deal with this ordinary everyday woman. So he is hired to stalk, threaten, or even kill her. Turns out, Stalking is Love, and he develops feelings for his target. That doesn’t stop him from keeping up with the job, thought. He had to be undercover to get closer, so cases of Used to be Lovers/Friends are probably included. You will likely hear from a character In Love With the Mark the quote “It wasn’t personal.”

Example: Jack/Angela; Jackson/Lisa; Vincent/Anne; Tom/Lizzie (Jacob/Masha); Skye/Ward

The Queen and her Champion

Woman occupies traditionally feminine roles of power and the man is an example of masculinity for others. She uses clever words, social understanding and schemes. He is her sword and her armor, but nothing more. Because of their different stances, he is bound to be close to her he protects, but never with her.

Examples: Maly and Alina; Zelda and Link; Lancelot and Guinevere; Rhaenyra Targaryen and Criston Cole; Daenerys and Ser Jorah; Every Elizabeth Tudor romance, Queen Anne and Aramis; Lucrezia and Cesare; Cersei and Jaime.

Art Inspires Love

When character A realizes or falls (more) in love with character B after watching him dance, sing, or doing something artistic.

Examples: Frollo/Esmeralda, Christine/Erik, Hap/Prairie, Isaura/Leôncio, Anne/Vincent, Sandor/Sansa and Babydoll/Blue Jones.

Supernatural Connection

The characters have a psychic or physical connection. Maybe they can communicate through telepathy or can feel each other’s presence and emotions when they are nearby. There might be a spell connecting their hearts in a way one can only die when the other one does. Maybe they are twins. Whatever the reason, these characters are bonded in a way no one else could be.

Examples: Kylo x Rey, Nuada x Nuala, Darkling x Alina and Cersei x Jaime.

The Frollo Effect

A guy falls in love with a girl he is suppose to reject, repulse or dehumanize, and fights against it. By trying to suppress it, her converts love into hatred against her and himself, and probably punishes both hoping it will make the feeling go away. It does not work and the guy starts doing things he never thought he was capable of in order to deal with this unbearable need. He is usually proud, rational and very in control of himself until she comes along. Her initial dismissal as a suitor commonly starts out as social expectation - in which the characters are from divergent social segments and ideologically separated -, but it’s always a expectation the guy has over himself, regardless if anyone else imposes this on him.

Examples: Esmeralda x Frollo (Gypsy and priest), Amon x Helen (Jew and nazi), Isaura x Leôncio (Slave and master), Daisy x Ram (Sister and brother), William x Dolores (Host and guest) and Hap x Prairie (Subject and scientist)

Bonding undercover

When the bad guy pretends to be a normal person long enough to befriend the good girl and make her fall in love with him. This is usually how tragically two-sided vxh happens, because she gets to know his other side before the bad one gets in the way, but they can still have a happy ending because it also establishes they could have the base for a healthy relationship if only he could abandon his malicious quest. This only happens when the girl develops deeply romantic feelings for him; if it's only a crush or devilish attraction (Red Eye, The OA and Agents of SHIELD) than it doesn't count. She must be sobbing on the floor when this is done. May also involve an amnesia period in which the antagonist approaches the hero as an old friend or a lover.

Examples: Steerpike and Fuchsia, Christine and Erik, Kiara and Kovu, Elizabeth and Tom, Dracula and Vanessa

Generation Parallel

A love story doesn’t end up well. Years later another generation repeats the first one in a slightly different manner. Most of the time, the parallel between the two affairs means the characters from the first one have the chance to develop as we wished they would, and that their love might have grown roots under a different field. Sometimes it just means shit happens no matter the circumstances, and that people will make the same mistakes of their elderlies despite that they should have known better by now. If we are talking about the first generation’s offspring (Incest not necessarily included), it might mean their love is on their DNA and they would fall over and over again under different names and places. In any case, this trope is the romantic side of History Repeats Itself.

Very common theme in incest, because their birth requires a previous affair between their parents, but it only counts if it is a story on its own, full of ups and downs, and people talk about it. If it’s not mentioned or important to the plot, there is no point in calling it Generation Parallel.

Examples: Jaime and Cersei (Joana and Tywin), Arya and Gendry/Jon (Lyanna and Robert/Rhaegar), Catherine and Hareton (Cathy and Heathcliff), Abby and Henry (Wakefield and Sarah), Rey and Kylo (Padme and Anakin), Isaura and Leôncio (Almeida and Juliana), Leonardo e Marina (Pilar e Murilo).

Roaring Rampage of Romance

Love that starts a war and the main plot. Characters that destroy cities and galaxies because Love Made Them Evil, because they are trying to be with whom they love or to secure their safety and happiness. It might be on purpose, in which they have foreseen the consequences but choose to take them anyway as a means to an end, or it was accidental. There may be decades of conflict and the count of a hundred corpses, or maybe a famous massacre with a handful dead extras. Maybe a murderer is hunting down everyone on an Island so that he can be alone with his beloved. Anyway, innocent people that had nothing to do with them nor interfered with the couple’s happiness will suffer the collateral damage.

Common trope among royalty, since marrying or bearing the children of someone you were not supposed to could have disastrous consequences to the State, still people would do it for love.

If the character is causing the rampage in search for something else, like power, and to secure his beloved is an incidental bonus, it isn’t considered Roaring Rampage of Romance, unless he is doing it because Love Has Made Him Evil. Alina/Darkling and Nuada/Nuala, for instance, don’t fit this category.

Examples: Penny Dreadful, Inuyasha, ASoIaF (Rhaegar x Lyanna, Jaime x Cersei, Petyr x Catelyn), Harper’s Island, Westworld, Notre Dame de Paris, Wuthering Heights, The Phantom of the Opera, Bram Stroker’s Dracula, Apollo and Cassandra, Star Wars (Anakin and Padmé)

Taboo Tropes

Incest

Self-explanatory. Cousins will not be considered incest in here. I’m brazilian.

Subtrope: Decadent Aristocrats

Ho Yay

Homosexual couples

Age gap

Ships with age gap between then, 10 years at least. Supernatural/immortal beings won’t be taken into account unless the other part is a child or coming of age.

Wife Husbandry

A man adopts or temporarily takes care of a little girl. She may or not develop a precocious crush on him. Little girl grows up into a extraordinary and desirable woman. She had him on a pedestal all these years and has been saving herself for him. Man is distressed bc he can’t reconcile the image of the child he cherished as a father and the provoking woman she turned out to be. He mostly resists her advances, but they work that out by the end.

Example: Older!Mathilda/Leon AU, Nancy/Hartigan (Sin City), Veronica/William (Final Girl)

Development Tropes

End game ship

Is not everyday an OTP becomes end game

AU ship

A.k.a. “Canon? Who needs canon?” ships. OTPs that had a lot of potential but were ruined by canon. So either I ignore the end they were given, either some parts in the middle. Unlike Not Canon ships, these were meant to be romantically involved, but the way it was executed ruined it.

Secondary Interest ship

That One Scene ships are the ones with nothing shippable except for one or two scenes. Sometimes is not even canon and are more anti-recs than anything, but it’s still about villain x heroine, so it’s relevant to this blog.

Not canon

Word of God stayed silent and, according to my best judgment, the subtext was not enough. If something sexual or romantic happens between the characters but isn’t based on desire, such as the villain seducing the heroine for his advantage, it’s not canon.

Example: Scream (Billy/Sidney), Kim Possible (Kim/Shego), Mulan (Mulan x Shan Yu), World Without End (Carys x Edward), Sky High (Layla x Warren), Star Wars (Obi-Wan x Padmé), Richard III (Anne x Richard), Tesis (Angela x Bosco)

[steenpaal]

Fame (2009 film) - Wikipedia

Fame is a 2009 American musical drama film and a loose remake of the 1980 film of the same name. It was directed by Kevin Tancharoen and written by Allison Burnett. It was released on September 25, 2009 in the US, Canada, Ireland, and the UK. The film follows talented high school students attending The High School of Performing Arts in New York City (known today as Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School), where students get specialized training that often leads to success in the entertainment industry. Exterior shots of the Performing Arts school are of the Professional Performing Arts School or PPAS on West 48th Street and not the Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School on 100 Amsterdam Avenue behind the Lincoln Center.

Debbie Allen, who portrays the school principal Angela Simms, is the only person to appear in the original movie, the subsequent television show (in the 1980 film and the series she played role of dance teacher Lydia Grant), and this production.

Auditions

During the opening scenes in auditions and orientation, it is told that in 1936, New York City Mayor Fiorello H. LaGuardia founded the High School of Music & Art in order to provide a facility where the most gifted and talented public school students of New York City could pursue their talents in art or music, while also completing a full academic program of instruction. In 1948, the School of Performing Arts (P.A.) was created to provide training in performance skills to students who wished to prepare for professional careers in dance, music or drama.

Freshman year

Students learn on the first day of classes that their teachers expect them to know everything. In dance class, the teacher Ms. Kraft is worried about Kevin's dancing, but is easily impressed by Alice.

In acting class, Jenny feels uncomfortable to let loose and be crazy like everyone else. In music class, Mr. Cranston gives Victor pointers, while Denise plays the music perfectly on the piano.

In the lunchroom, everyone practices their major and they all get up and dance ('This Is My Life'), while Denise and Malik escape the madness and they talk to each other, Denise saying that her uptight and conservative parents thinks that the school is "people sitting around, practicing cello all day", and that they would die if they saw this. Malik reveals that his mother doesn't even know that he is coming to the school because she works three jobs and would never notice.

Just before freshman year ends, it shows Malik at his apartment, his mother finding his report card, making it clear that he goes to Performing Arts. She is angry but he continues to go to the school. The year closes after she goes to work and leaves Malik standing alone.

Sophomore year

As the new school year begins, it shows the dancers all practicing in a circle, but once it is Kevin's turn, he is out-shined and is forced to go back in his original spot.

In music class, Victor is having trouble sticking to the right music, and adds his own spin on whatever he is playing, which doesn't sit well with Mr. Cranston.

In theater class, Malik talks about his dead sister, Ayanna, causing Mr. Dowd to ask questions that he refuses to answer. Malik then leaves, stating that he's going to be famous, no matter what anyone else says.

Meanwhile, Denise is playing her classical piano, but then starts to sing, assuming she is alone. ('Out Here on My Own') When she leaves, it is revealed to the audience that Malik was watching the whole time. He brings her to Victor and convinces her to sing for the album that they are producing. She agrees to it, as long as her strict father doesn't find out.

At a Halloween party, Malik plays the song, but says the vocals are "anonymous", upsetting Denise, which confuses Malik. Later, Joy is in Central Park drinking beer. She gets up and does a rap, vomiting at the end of it. Neil captures this in his documentary and presents it to the class. Marco asks Jenny out on a date (though not for the first time). She agrees to go with him to dinner at his father's restaurant, where she convinces him to play a song and sing on the piano. He does ('Try'), and she gives him a money tip. The sophomore year ends with them kissing.

Junior year

Joy has another audition, but is annoyed, because the other girls competing against her always seem to get the part. Neil says that he is meeting with a producer for a short, independent film he wrote and hopes to direct himself.

Meanwhile, Marco and Jenny go to a party, where Jenny sees a guy named Andy Matthews, a former P.A. student who claims to be a professional actor and known player. He tells her that he can have her meet with his agent, and the naive Jenny gives him her cell phone number. Marco leaves, having seen the last part, and Jenny runs out after him. They have a minor fight, but she promises that she will never talk to Andy again, and they go back to her house.

Victor, Malik, and Denise meet with a man from a record company, who says that their demo is interesting, and he will play it at the next meeting and get back to them. Victor and Malik are overjoyed, but Denise is still hesitant. At the next meeting, the producer tells them that Denise is the reason he was interested in their music. He tries to persuade her to stay.

Joy tells Jenny and Neil that she got a part-time acting job on 'Sesame Street' and is very excited about it. Ms. Rowan, the voice teacher, takes some of the students to a karaoke bar where she ends up singing as well. Jenny goes to meet Andy despite what she said to Marco. When she arrives, Andy tells her the director is out sick. He comes onto her, but she stops him and angrily leaves. She tells Marco, and he asks if Andy tried anything, saying that he knew this would happen and that if fame was really that important to her then he hopes she gets the job. He then leaves her sobbing his name on a rooftop.

Neil tries to get his equipment for the movie, but when he tries to find his producer, he is discovered to be gone, along with the $5,000.

Senior year

Kevin (Paul McGill) has a meeting with Ms. Kraft, the dance teacher, because he asked her to write him a letter of recommendation. She says she can not write him the letter, because she believes he is not talented enough to become a professional dancer. Meanwhile, as they talk, Alice is dancing to ('Black and Gold') practicing her jazz piece. This conversation with Ms. Kraft causes him to attempt suicide by stepping in front of a subway car. Joy, Rosie, and Jenny are there to stop him.

Victor is told by his girlfriend, Alice, that she is going on a world tour next week. He asks if she will visit him, but she says that after P.A. couples usually go their separate ways.

Joy drops out of school before graduation because she is working on 'Sesame Street' full-time now and her grades have suffered.

Malik talks with Mr. Dowd about his father, which leads to Mr. Dowd telling him about breaking down his walls. Victor, Malik and Denise put on a hip-hop concert at a club at which her parents are at, but Denise told them it was classical jazz because of her father's wishes for her to pursue classical piano and not vocals. Despite this, she defies her father and goes on anyway and wins over her mother during the performance. Marco, along with Neil, Joy, and Rosie, is there to watch but when he sees Jenny come in, he says he has to go. Jenny stops him from leaving, saying that she's been thinking a lot about him, and that it kills her that she hurt him.

Later, during the concert, he puts his arms around her and they smile at each other. When Denise leaves with her parents, her father is outraged and tells her that he is pulling her out of P.A., even though she is about to graduate. Her mom stops him and says that if Denise wants to sing, she should sing.

Graduation

Before graduation, Jenny gives a speech about success to the graduating class, saying that she felt it when she was in the school. Kevin tells Joy that he is moving back to Iowa (following the advice Ms. Kraft gave to him), and that he is going to be "the best god damn dance teacher there ever was". During the graduation performance, everybody participates ('Hold Your Dream'), with Denise as the main singer. It ends with all the characters following graduating (except Joy and Alice).

The main cast is featured on the official website.[2]

Students

Teachers and staff

Other characters

Release

Critical response

The film has received generally unfavorable reviews from critics.[4]Rotten Tomatoes reported that 25% of critics gave the film positive reviews based on 116 reviews with an average score of 4.4/10.[5] The site's consensus, states: "Fame is ultimately undone by its choppy editing, its incomplete characterizations, and its apparent desire to appeal to the High School Musical generation."[5] Based on 26 critical reviews sampled by Metacritic, it gave an average score of 39% for the film.[4] On At the Movies, Michael Phillips gave the film a "See It" while A.O. Scott gave the film a "Skip It".[6]

Box office

The film opened at third place behind Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and the newly released Surrogates with approximately $10,011,682.[7] The film has grossed $22,455,510 domestically and $50,930,003 in the foreign market with an international gross of $73,385,513, making it a moderate box office success.[8]

Soundtrack

The soundtrack was released on August 25, 2009. It features a blend of American standards and new pieces, written specifically for the movie. Included from the original film are the piano ballad "Out Here on My Own" and the title theme "Fame" (both sung by Irene Cara for the 1980 original film).[9] There's a version of the theme song with a verse by Collins Pennie, but didn't make the album, although it was included in The Radio Mixes EP of the song[10] and there was made a music video for it to promote the film.[11]

Track listing

"Welcome to P.A." – Raney Shockne

"Fame" – Naturi Naughton

"Big Things" – Anjulie

"Ordinary People" – Asher Book

"This Is My Life" – Hopsin, Ak'Sent, Tynisha Keli & Donte "Burger" Winston

"Out Here on My Own – Naturi Naughton

"Street Hustlin'" – Raney Shockne feat. Stella Moon

"You'll Find a Way" (Switch & Sinden Remix) – Santigold

"Can't Hide from Love" – Naturi Naughton & Collins Pennie

"Black & Gold" – Sam Sparro

"Back to Back" – Collins Pennie feat. Ashleigh Haney

"I Put a Spell on You" – Raney Shockne feat. Eddie Wakes

"Get On the Floor" – Naturi Naughton & Collins Pennie

"Try" – Asher Book

"You Took Advantage of Me" – Megan Mullally

"Too Many Women" (Damon Elliott Remix) – Rachael Sage

"Someone to Watch Over Me" – Asher Book

"You Made Me Love You" – Raney Shockne feat. Oren Waters

"Hold Your Dream" – Kay Panabaker, Asher Book & Naturi Naughton

Additionally, a More Music From Fame[12] and two solo albums by Naturi Naughton and Collins Pennie titled Fame Presents Naturi Naughton as Denise: Didn't I Tell You?[13] and Fame Presents Collins Pennie as Malik: Best Believe That[14] were released in February 2010.

References

^ Fame at Box Office Mojo

^ "Full Cast". Official fame website. MGM Studios.

^ Ebert, Roger. "Fame Review". Chicago Sun-Times. Retrieved September 27, 2009.

^ a b "Fame (2009): Reviews". Metacritic. CNET Networks. Retrieved September 27, 2009.

^ a b "Fame Movie Reviews, Pictures". Rotten Tomatoes. IGN Entertainment. Retrieved September 27, 2009.

^ Phillips, Michael; Scott, A.O. (September 26, 2009). "Fame Movie Review". BV Entertainment.com. Retrieved September 28, 2009.[permanent dead link]

^ "Weekend Box Office Results for September 25–27, 2009". Box Office Mojo. Retrieved September 27, 2009.

^ "Fame (2009)". Box Office Mojo. Retrieved March 13, 2010.

^ "Fame (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) by Various Artists". iTunes. Retrieved January 3, 2014.

^ "Fame - The Radio Mixes - EP by Naturi Naughton". iTunes. Retrieved February 25, 2016.

^ "FAME Theme Song Naturi Naughton & Collins Pennie". YouTube. September 17, 2009. Retrieved December 3, 2013.

^ "Fame (More Music from the Motion Picture) by Various Artists". iTunes. Retrieved February 25, 2016.

^ "Fame Presents Naturi Naughton As Denise: Didn't I Tell You? by Naturi Naughton". iTunes. Retrieved February 25, 2016.

^ "Fame presents Collins Pennie as Malik: Best Believe That by Collins Pennie". iTunes. Retrieved February 25, 2016.

^ "Pandora Archive" (PDF). August 23, 2009. Retrieved February 15, 2012.

^ "Austriancharts.at – Soundtrack – Fame %5b2009%5d" (in German). Hung Medien. Retrieved June 18, 2014.

^ "Ultratop.be – Soundtrack – Fame %5b2009%5d" (in Dutch). Hung Medien. Retrieved June 18, 2014.

^ "Lescharts.com – Soundtrack – Fame %5b2009%5d". Hung Medien. Retrieved June 18, 2014.

^ "Officialcharts.de – Soundtrack – Fame %5b2009%5d". GfK Entertainment Charts. Retrieved June 18, 2014.

^ "Charts.org.nz – Soundtrack – Fame %5b2009%5d". Hung Medien. Retrieved June 18, 2014.

^ "Swisscharts.com – Soundtrack – Fame %5b2009%5d". Hung Medien. Retrieved June 18, 2014.

^ "Official Compilations Chart Top 100". Official Charts Company. Retrieved June 18, 2014.

^ a b c "Fame [Lakeshore Soundtrack] - Original Soundtrack | Awards". AllMusic. Retrieved February 25, 2016.

External links

[pandabearlikes]

Temporary Affairs II

 Table of Contents 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Disclaimer: There may be a part in this chapter not suitable for younger viewers.  If you do not wish to read it kindly skip the section highlighted with the "※               ※                 ※" borders.  It’s more for comedic purposes than ahem, but let’s play safe ;).

  Chapter 13.  Happiness 

  A month flashed by in the blink of an eye.  Yoona turned from a pink wrinkly creature to a chubby happy little baby.  You soon realized that you had been scaring yourself with the whole “unfit to be a mother role” talk because you were practically an expert; it was so much easier than you had imagined because you were enjoying every moment of it.  Plus, Yoona was such a good girl.  She rarely threw tantrums without a reason.  In addition to all of that, your mother-in-law had bonded with the little princess.  There wasn’t a moment where they weren’t together. 

  “Aigoo!  Yoon-ie is such a beautiful girl, isn’t she?” your mother-in-law bounced the little bundle up and down on her lap. 

  You passed her a bib to wipe off the drool that escaped from the corner of Yoona’s lips.

  “She has such big round eyes just like her mother’s,” she complimented.

  A flush of pink covered your cheeks.  Yoona extended out her tiny arms as if asking to be held.  Your mother-in-law happily complied, bringing her into her chest. 

  “She’s spoiled rotten!” you exclaimed, giggling when the baby’s lips curled up into a sneaky smile. 

  The jingling of keys sounded from the front door.  You turned around to see Jongin and Sehun enter, chatting gleefully with one another.  In Sehun’s arms was Youngwoo in a mini suit and tie. 

  “Aww, my little Youngwoo-yah!” you jumped from your seat to greet the little prince. 

  Sehun gladly passed the baby boy into your arms.  You nuzzled into Youngwoo’s tummy and he giggled at your touch.  Holding him, you stalked back to the sofa to reunite with your mother-in-law and Yoona. 

  The little boy looked at Yoona intrigued to see another baby in the same room. 

  “Young-ie, this is Yoona!” you introduced in a baby’s voice, “Do you think she’s pretty?” 

  Youngwoo babbled happily in affirmation while Yoona scared innocently back at him. 

  “Oy, Jagiya, are you trying to play matchmaker?” Jongin asked. 

  “And what if I am?” you inquired, wiggling your brows. 

  “You’re really going to betroth our precious little princess off already?” he half-whined.

  “And what if I am?” you repeated.

  Jongin looked at Sehun for backup but Sehun simply replied, “I don’t mind”. 

  Your husband threw his head back defeated. 

  -----

  On a Sunday afternoon, a few weeks later, Jongin, you, and Yoona took time off to visit your parent’s place because they had been nagging to see the baby.  Eagerly, you pounced into the back seat, kicking your legs gleefully for you hadn’t been back to your old house in over a year.  Shaking his head in amusement, your husband carefully opened the back door and buckled Yoona into the baby carrier.  She flailed around, whimpering and crying at the unfamiliar atmosphere. 

  “Aigoo, my little princess.  It’s okay, Omma is here,” you immediately bent over to kiss her and rubbed her little tummy in a soothing manner. 

  After another round of kisses, coos, and peek-a-boos, the baby’s mood picked up.  Jongin and you sighed in relief. 

  “So are my queen and my princess ready to set off?” your husband asked in the driver seat while adjusting the rearview mirror. 

  “Yes Sir!” you saluted and he drove off. 

  On the way there, you and Yoona invented a new game called “Bye Bye Pacifier”.  Yes, you could have thought of a more creative title but it was really on the spot.  At the red light, Jongin turned around to peep at you two’s silliness and laughed.  Basically, Yoona would spit out her pacifier; you would go “oopsie” in a baby voice, pick it up then stick it back into her mouth.  She’d make this adorable noise between a giggle and babble and playfully spit it back out, thrashing her tiny arms around to motion for you to pick it back up for her.  By the time you were at your destination, you guys were at round twenty-five of “Bye Bye Pacifier”. 

  “Jagiya, we’re here,” Jongin announced after realizing that you were so focused in your playtime with your daughter, you didn’t even notice.

  “Oh,” you responded then turned to the baby, “Yoon-ie, you wanna see grandma and grandpa?” 

  She sucked on her pacifier, making a “toot toot” noise.  Awww.  I’m gonna meltttt.  Jongin got out of the car and opened the door for you.  You unstrapped Yoona and gently lifted her up onto your chest. 

  “Omma!  Appa!  I’m home!” you greeted as soon as the maid opened the door to the place you spent your childhood at.  You almost cried tears of joy. 

  “Aigoo!!!  My precious baby!” you mother rushed toward you.

  You extended one arm out, anticipating a hug but your mother U-turned and took Yoona out from your arms. 

  -____________-.  You pouted.  Beside you, your husband stifled back a mocking laughter and instead patted your shoulder. 

  Crossing your arm, you followed your mother into the living room area. 

  “Now that Omma has Yoona, she forgot about ________,” you pretended to be upset, but really you were so overjoyed that Yoona was so loved in the family. 

  “________ah, you’re not jealous of your own daughter, right?” your mother asked, not taking her attention off the cute baby in her lap.      

  “What if I am?  Even Oppa neglects me for Yoona,” you jokingly complained. 

  Next to you, your husband immediately retorted, “I do not!” 

  You turned to him and threw him to a goofy grin to make sure he knew you weren’t being serious.

  “Well, even if he did.  I wouldn’t blame him, Yoona is the most adorable little baby ever.  Huh?  Isn’t Halmoni right, Yoonie?” the older woman said, nuzzling her nose against your daughter’s tummy.  She squirmed around spitting out her pacifier.

  “Oopsie,” you automatically replied, squatting down to pick it up, disinfect it, and stick it back into Yoona’s mouth. 

  “Abonim, do you want to hold Yoona?” you heard your husband ask your father who had been silently watching. 

  “Yeah, Appa, do you want to play with her?” you asked, picking up the baby to give to your father but he grunted and shook his head. 

  So you hang your head in disappointment and held Yoona up to your face to kiss her chubby cheeks in case she was also hurt by the rejection.  But really, it was your way of comforting another in hopes of distracting yourself from the blow.  Upset, you turned around and sat back down beside your mother.  Just as you do, your husband stood up, walked over, took Yoona from your arms, and placed her onto your father’s lap.  The middle-aged man, looked up at his son-in-law stunned but then softened when Yoona cooed and bounced up and down joyfully in his hold.  A rare smile crept on his face and tears brimmed in your eyes.  Jongin sat down next to you with an arm around your shoulder. 

  You leaned your head into his chest and whispered, “Thank you”.  Squeezing your hand, he shook his head to defer the credit so you rewarded him a gentle peck on the cheek. 

  “_______ah, I have something to give Yoona, come upstairs with me,” your mother spoke. 

  “Oh no, Omma.  She’s already super spoiled,” you informed but your mother was stubborn.  So you nodded and followed her up, curious as to what the present was. 

  Midway down the second floor hall, you started to feel a bit homesick.  After all, this place was where you spent the first twenty-two years of your life.  It was where you took your first step, rode your first bicycle, cried when you failed your chemistry exam…etc.  Unknowingly, you stopped in front of your princess room and peeped in.  Everything was still the same –  the pastel pink walls, lace curtains, and princess chair.  You giggled recalling the time Jongin barged in to check on you after you had forgotten to give him a call after you got home.  We will meet again someday, thank you for being my escape for these twenty-two years.  I have found my home with Oppa and Yoona now.  With a contented sigh, you closed the door.

  As your mother dug through her drawers searching for the mysterious gift for your daughter, you waited outside to not pressure her.  That’s when your eye discovered that your father’s office door wasn’t locked.  Growing up, it was like some forbidden area that no one – not even your mother was allowed in.  Curiosity killed the cat.  Tiptoeing, you took a peep through the slit.  That’s when you saw it.  Instantly, a tear rolled down your face.  You opened the door and without your consent, your legs guided you forward to the image that captivated your attention earlier.  In the center of the room was a painting, oh so nobly framed in this gorgeous glass and crystal border.  But it wasn’t just any painting – it was “The Puppet”, your first ever work of art that got officially displayed at an art gallery.  Your husband had informed you that immediately following its exhibition, an anonymous buyer had purchased it for a large sum of money.  Never in a million years would you have guessed it was your one and only father.

  Your lips quivered and your face was immediately swamped in tears.  Lifting your hand, your fingers grazed along the painting.  Under it was a label that read, “My Precious Daughter, ________’s Masterpiece”. 

  “Appa…” your voice cracked and your shoulders shook. 

  Your attention turned to the other walls of his office, that were lined with other drawings and pictures, a few of them dating to when you were just the tender age of three.  It was a sloppy crayon drawing you did for a preschool assignment called, “My Family”.  Walking over to another wall, you sobbed seeing a ripped up painting that was taped carefully back together and framed in a delicate diamond border.  It was the watercolor landscape you drew and submitted to an Art Academy secretly, behind your father’s back, when you were applying for colleges.  When he found out, he had angrily torn it up and threatened to disown you if you dared diverge from the path of business he had intended you to walk.  But why was it here?  You wiped your tears to squint at the letters underneath.  “A Father’s Heartbreaking Decision,” it read.  You burst into tears. 

  “Waaaa waaa waaaa,” a baby’s cry caught your attention. 

  Gasping, you turned around to see Jongin with Yoona in his arms.  Next to him was your father.  Upon realizing you noticed him, he instantaneously turned to leave. 

  “Abonim!” Jongin called.

  “Appa!” you called too, racing out of the room to chase him. 

  He stopped in his tracks with his back facing you. 

  “Appa…” you called out again, slowly walking toward him. 

  From his shaking shoulders, you could tell he was crying.  So to give him face, you stopped a foot away from him and didn’t force him to turn around. 

  “…I really…really didn’t know you kept all my artwork…” you began tearfully.

  Swallowing, he cleared his throat and said with a cracked voice, “I didn’t want you to find out”.

  “But why?  I don’t understand Appa…I thought you said my art was worthless…” you sobbed. 

  “Appa…Appa was selfish,” he admitted, “To insure that my company would survive generation after generation…I sacrificed my one and only daughter’s happiness…not only her marriage but also her passion and talent”. 

  By then, you were already bawling a river.  Beside you, Jongin squeezed you shoulder.  You looked up at him with watery eyes.  He gave you a reassuring nod and a gentle push for you to walk forward.  So you did.  With quivering lips, you placed your hand on your father’s arm.  His body stiffened.  Slowly, you wrapped your arms around him. 

  “Thank you, Appa,” you sobbed. 

  For the first time he turned to you and you finally saw the extent of his break down.  His eyes were bloodshot red and her facial features sagged. 

  “No…you shouldn’t—“ he spoke.

  “No, I should.  Growing up, I was under the illusion that you thought my art was not good enough.  But now I know.  Thank you.  And because of you, I have found my eternal happiness with Jongin-oppa and Yoona,” you responded, tightening you hug around him. 

  He was silent for the next few minutes but gradually, he brought his hand up and patted your shoulder.  It wasn’t a lot but it was enough to show you that he cared and his actions against you growing up were all out of love.  With one last squeeze, you removed yourself from him.  Turning around, you realized that not only was Jongin and your daughter witnessing the father-daughter interaction, your mother had seen it all play out as well.  She wiped the tears that brimmed in her eyes and walked up to your with a velvet box in her hand. 

  “Here it is.  Your father picked it out,” she informed.

  “No, I didn’t,” you father immediately countered, fidgeting nervously. 

  “Yes, he did,” your mother corrected. 

  You sighed in anticipation and took the box from her hands.  Inside was a pair of golden anklets with bells.  You squinted your eyes and picked up the one that looked visibly worn out.  Inside was a deep engraving of your name. 

  “_______ah, do you remember that?  It was yours when you were a baby. Your father kept it to this day.  After you gave birth, he searched everywhere for a blacksmith who would make a replica for your daughter”, your mother informed.

  Holding back tears, you held the other anklet up to your eyes to see “Kim Yoona” engraved into the inside.  You held it up to your chest, sobbing. 

  Jongin walked over with Yoona and asked, “Abonim, do you want to help Yoon-ie put it on?”

  Biting your lip, you looked from your daughter to your father.  A whimper managed to escape when the older man blinked back tears, stepped forward, and took the anklet from your hands.  His body trembled but with determination, he gently slipped it onto the baby’s foot. 

  “Waa, so pretty, right Yoon-ie?” Jongin said, bouncing her up and down.  She squirmed around causing the bells to jingle. 

  Your father sighed and turned to leave but you called after him.  Holding out the box that contained your anklet, you asked, “Appa, do you want to keep it?” 

  He looked up to stop the tears from falling.  A wide grin spread across his face and he placed his hands over yours that held the box, “I’d love to”. 

  You threw your arms around him again.              

  -----

  One day as you were taking your sweet time soaking in a bubble bath, Jongin barged in to relieve his bladder.  You gasped, covering your body shyly.  Really…why were you that shy…Your heart raced in an insane speed, roaming over his body. 

  “Sorry, Jagiya, I really need to go.  I’ll be quick,” he apologized.

  After using the toilet, he turned around to leave but you slid open the glass shower door and popped your head out.

  “Oppa…do you want to stay?” you asked bashfully.

  His hand hovered over the doorknob, seemingly debating whether to stay or to leave. 

  “Oppa…” you called out seductively. 

  In seconds, you watched him strip down, tossing his clothes randomly all throughout the restroom as if creating a trail all the way from the door to the bathtub you were in. 

  ※               ※                 ※

    You huffed and puffed.  Sweet drops trickled down your forehead, down to the crook of your neck, stopping on the valley between your breasts.  Jongin teasingly licked it off with his tongue.  You groaned and he smirked. 

  “Stop teasing me…” you whined. 

  “Okay, Babe.  Ready for another round then?” he said lustfully. 

  Your eyes rolled back in pleasure as his bare skin touched yours.  A shiver ran down your spine like electric currents.  You clawed his back when he slipped inside of you. 

  “Oppaa…” you called out, bending your back forward to get closer against his body. 

  Flexing his neck, he flirtatiously grazed his lips against yours. 

  “You’re teasing meeeee,” you whined, grasping a fistful of his hair to keep him steady so you could kiss him back. 

  A moan escaped your lips when his tongue crept into your mouth. 

  And then suddenly, a loud wail sounded through the baby walkie-talkie monitor.  You blinked, confused and hazed at first from your lovemaking to recognize what was happening.  But when you did remember, you tapped on Jongin’s shoulder to get his attention. 

  “Yoona,” you managed to say in between a kiss. 

  “Should I go get it?” Jongin asked, still hovering over you, his hips still thrusting up and down. 

  “No, I can,” you replied, though you’d honestly much rather continue what you were doing. 

  Just as you were leaning over to grab your top, Yoona’s cries ceased.  Puzzled, both Jongin and you froze in place. 

  “I got it.  You two can continue doing…uh…whatever you were doing,” your mother-in-law’s voice shouted from outside the room. 

  “Oh my God,” you mouthed to Jongin but all he did was chuckle in delight. 

  “Guess we can go a few more rounds tonight then, Babe,” he leaned in to suck on your lower lips.  You’re such a teaseee you sex god. 

  But you always fell for his trap – always.     

  ※               ※                 ※

      On a Sunny afternoon, two months later, Jongin and you were sitting on the bed flipping through tourist magazines.  You knew you wanted to go somewhere romantic for your make up Honey Moon.

  “How about San Franciso?” Jongin suggested but you shook your head.

  “Nah, that place is so foggy!” you commented.

  Smirking, he draped an arm around your waist and seductively whispered, “You know what we can do in all that fog?”  Omg.  Oh no you didn’t, bad boy. 

  You felt the temperature rise up from your toes to the top of your head.  Taking the magazine into both your hands, you fanned it to lower your body temperature.  But Jongin, held onto your wrist to stop you. 

  “You know, I can easily help you with that instead,” he slurred.

  You bent your head back when he nibbled your ear.  Kim Jongin, you life ruiner!!!  And somehow within seconds, he was already on top of you, licking your lips to tempt you to fall into his trap again.  And you willingly fell.  But a sudden knot in the pit of your stomach caused you to push him away.  Covering your mouth, you dashed into the bathroom and threw up into the toilet.  Oh crap.  Kim Jongin, you did not…

   Your husband quickly sprinted into the restroom to check on you. 

  “Are you okay?” he asked worriedly, his tone so much more serious than the one he used in bed. 

  Clutching your stomach, you continued to vomit into the toilet bowl.  Grimacing beside you, Jongin patted your back, hoping it’d make you feel better.  When you were done, you immediately flipped through the calendar looking for familiar red stars that you stuck on each month as record.  But you hadn’t marked anything this month.  With your mouth agape, you turned around to look at your hubby. 

  “What?” he asked confused at your expression. 

  “Kim Jongin…you did not…” you gritted your teeth. 

  “I did not what?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows. 

  Shaking your head, you dug in the cabinets for a pregnancy test.  You never thought you’d be putting those to use so quickly.  Jongin’s eyes widened.

  “Jagiya…you’re not…” he began and you sent him a death glare. 

              So for the next ten minutes, the two of you waited quietly in the bathroom.  At first you were so angry and miserable that there was a possibility of #2 coming so fast after you had just gotten through the first pregnancy.  Well, and the fact that your husband had promised you a Honey Moon to make up for the one you guys missed because you got pregnant and had to cancel the first one.  But as the clock ticked, your frown gradually flipped upside down.  There were so many people in this world dying to have children but couldn’t and if God trusted you enough to gift you another little angel, then you’d be more than happy. 

  You looked up to glance at Jongin and realized he’d been silently observing you.  His face was filled with remorse and guilt. 

  Laughing, you asked, “What’s with the sad face?”

  “I’m not going to forgive myself if I got you pregnant so fast again,” he grunted. 

  With a contented sigh, you got up from the toilet seat and walked over to sit on the edge of the bathtub, next to Jongin. 

  “You know…Oppa…maybe it’s not such a bad idea.  At this rate, I’ll be done giving birth to our six children by the age of thirty!” you chirped, hugging his arm. 

  “But I promised you I’d take you on your vacation,” he sighed. 

  “Yeah, Kim Jongin you better not forget that.  I better get to go on a world tour after #2,” you joked. 

  Your husband’s spirits lifted seeing that you weren’t upset anymore.  The timer buzzed on your phone to notify you that the results were out.  Jongin and you exchanged looks of anticipation.  Closing your eyes, you said a little prayer. 

  Two lines.  A wide grin spread across your face. 

  “Yay, our Baby Rockstar is on board!” you exclaimed happily. 

  Next to you, Jongin sighed again and leaned in to kiss you on your cheek.

  “I’m sorry, Jagiya,” he apologized. 

  Frowning, you turned around and gave him a stern look, “I’m not angry at all…but if you continue to have that depressed look on your face then I will be.  I will come to the conclusion that you don’t want me or the baby”.

  “No!  No, that’s not what I meant at all,” he said defensively. 

  Smiling, you took both of his hands into yours and said, “Then let’s go celebrate!!”

  Jongin chuckled, thankful for your optimism.  You dragged him downstairs to share the good news with your mother-in-law, who you knew would be thrilled to learn that she was about to have another grandchild to play with. 

  Midway, your husband stopped you.  With a sigh, he gazed into your eyes.  You looked back into his.  Effortlessly, he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear and subsequentially leaned in to give you a tender, loving kiss.  You kissed him back with just as much love. 

  “Jagiya, I really love you,” he confessed, “Like really, really”.

  “And I really, really, really love you too,” you replied, tiptoeing to give him another kiss. 

  When you two separated, he nuzzled his nose against yours. 

  “…But…I’m ready to add another ring to my collection,” you joked, pointing at the two that sat on your ring finger.  Hehe. 

  “Your wish is my command,” he slurred before closing the distance between your lips again. 

  You giggled into the kiss, feeling oh so, so blessed to have gone through the whirlwind of events to lead up to this point time where if someone asked you to describe in one word, you would simply reply with, “Happiness”.          

              a/n: ~CRIES A RIVER~ THANK YOU ALL MY LITTLE UNICORNS AND BUNNIES <3 >3< It has been an amazing journey with you guys through Temporary Affairs!!! o(╥﹏╥)o

  Jongin & his super sperms though haha.  & Youngna/ Yoonwoo ship sailing already when they’re only babies gahhhh legit love at first sight!!!  (▰˘◡˘▰)

  NOW WHO’S READY FOR BEAUTIFUL DISTRACTION?!  WHERE ARE MY TAO BIASES?!?!  RAISE YOUR HANDS!!  SHOOT ME A MESSAGE!!!! 

  Also, a reminder to please, please vote for EXO in MAMA Awards.  Click here for post I talk about it: VOTE VOTE VOTE.   

 ????

[notyourq-blog]

Backstory

This is the fuller version of Q’s backstory, I took it off their main page because it’s dark and it can be rather off putting whilst largely irrelevant.

Marcus History

Marcus Thompson was born to Maria and Joseph Thompson on an unknown date in March. As his father was somewhat of a crimelord with a large number of fingers in a huge variety of pies including human trafficking, drugs, weapons, etc the birth was never recorded so that, once Marcus got older, his father would have a completely obedient assistant who would never exist on the grid.

Marcus grew up surrounded by his parents and a small handful of his father’s men to raise him. It was noticed by his mother at a very young age that he was intelligent, she encouraged this by teaching him to play piano and chess but did her best to keep this from Joseph.

The young boy’s intelligence became obvious when he started to beat several of his guardians at chess by the age of six, upon discovering this his father hired an ex-Oxford Profession by the name of George to teach his son.

Marcus flourished under George’s instruction and, having no real idea the damage his father’s work did, he began to work to help plan and organise accounts for his father’s ‘business’. The 10 year old was thrilled to be so such use to his father and couldn’t understand his mother’s constant worry.

As he grew he got more and more responsibility, learning how to use a variety of weapons as well as different languages. This was also when he first began to use a computer (under careful supervision to keep him from learning too much about the ‘real world’) which he excelled at, soon able to hack into almost every system his father asked of him.

The morning of his 16th birthday found Marcus meeting all of his father’s business partners for the first time, at least he was pleased to be so well received by the men but, after their lunch, he was requested to truly become a man.

As the only softness in his life was his mother a gun was placed into his hand, she was forced to kneel before him, and his father ordered the boy to kill her. Marcus refused, leading him to be beaten until he was sobbing and bleeding, until his mother begged for him just to do it.

After his mother’s death Marcus continued on doing the work for his father, only for the man he had worshipped all his life to turn out to be more of a monster than any of the organisations he hacked.

George noticed this and slowly began to teach Marcus small things about the outside world. Just before the boy turned 17, George sent him away with train tickets to a small town in Scotland with enough money to see him through a few months. As Marcus left he knew the man would be killed for this but all he could do was thank him for everything before stealing away into the night.

After 2 days Marcus found himself in a small town, surrounded by more people than he’d never send in his life he decided to get food and hide away for a bit. Upon leaving the cafe later in the evening he quickly found that, as smart as he was, he needed male than intelligence to survive in the real world.

Thankfully a man called Jack, on the way to meet his friends at a bar, helped him and took him to his parent’s B&B where Marcus was able to shower and sleep properly. The next day Jack showed him around the town and the two began to bond.

Jack introduced Marcus to music and art that the boy had never even been aware of, teaching him about Scotland and trying to figure out how the teenager had ended up out here with nothing but a few bits of clothes and money.

Soon enough Marcus was working at a bar run by Jack’s friend, getting on well in the big wide world and slowly beginning to fall for the man who had been so kind to him.

Jack asked Marcus on a date during his second month in the town, not needing to do much more than just spend time together for both of them to be having fun and for Marcus to feel safe.

Months carried on like this, Marcus falling deeply in love with Jack and vice versa, even to the point where Jack’s mother would often tease them that they should be getting married in the spring.

Marcus was too relaxed and happy to notice the day one of his father’s men appeared in the town, feigning holiday with his wife and young daughter as he scouted out Marcus’ new life. Marcus was too relaxed until he came home from work and found his father sat next to Jack with a steel rod through his neck.

His father gave him the choice to come home by choice and he would put Jack out of his misery, or to argue and try to stay (with the full understanding he would be forced home anyway) while Jack slowly drowned in his own blood. Marcus broke down, sobbing for his father to stop and that he would go home. But Jack couldn’t be saved and the bullet was in his skull before Marcus could even ask why.

When they returned home, Marcus was kept constantly drugged to keel him reasonably docile. He lost a large amount of weight but was still able to complete the work required of him. His 18th birthday came and went without any kind words exchanged between father and son.

Marcus’ dosage was changed, feeding him drugs that led to anxiety and fear which were only able to be expressed violently. When the teen got particularly bad his father brought him people to kill - men, women, and children. In the full awareness that Marcus had barely any control over himself and didn’t really know what was going on directly after his shots.

After over a year of chemical torture Marcus successfully left a message with their location in MI6’s system, this allowed his father and many of his men to be captured or killed and left Marcus’ future down to a council of several spy agencies.

It was quickly decided that Marcus could not be left to roam the world due to his inability to cope with human interactions and expansive knowledge of hacking and other ‘detrimental’ activities. Officially Marcus Thompson was sentenced to death but Dr Jonas Port had a better idea.

Q History

Subject 16’s early memories were only full of pain and the confusion caused by drugs that were working hard to keep their brain completely empty. Dr Port would tell them how he was going to fix them, how he was going to keep them from being a monster and let their amazing brain be used for good.

As the pain faded S16 began to learn, not taking very long at all to relearn how to walk and talk and begin to question how the body they had been gifted works, touching their barely-there muscles to understood how they worked. Soon they learned onto harder material - mathematics, basic science, language and general information processing.

For the first few months of their existence they were told they couldn’t go outside. ‘It will make you sick. Undo all of my good work. Do not ask me again!’ Dr Port would yell in frustration as S16 queried where their human guards would go at night. So they kept quiet in the white room with white bed and white clothes and white mush that didn’t take of anything but that kept them alive.

One of their teachers, ‘you can just call me Nicole, sweetie’, was the first to take them outside. She was fired soon after, lost everything, but (if anyone had ever bothered to ask her) the smile on S16’s face as they touched the grass and watched the birds in the sky and realised there was more to life than learning for the first time had made it worth it.

Soon after that S16 met a man from MI6 who called himself Q. He was older than most of the humans S16 knew but he was kind and smart and reminded S16 of things they wasn’t supposed to remember. The man taught them what it meant to be the Quartermaster, how precious all innocent humans were and how S16 would work together with their agents to protect them.

Slowly, S16 (nicknamed Ben) came to learn the outside world in a way that felt uncomfortably familiar but they continued to push down any fragments of a life that wasn’t possible since they’d been no one before this. The old Quartermaster taught them everything they needed and then helped them to get a home in London.

There was a bracelet at first, attached around their wrist that told higher-ups everywhere they went. The galleries and theaters weren’t alarming though, they were still learning - trying to blend in with the humans they were going to be entrusted to protect.

After a few more months of no concerns Ben got another new name… Q. They replaced the man who had been so kind to them and set to work with MI6. Now the bracelet was gone they had no reason to take the medication that made their head spin… or so they thought.

Within a week there were nightmares. Stray, violent thoughts that could not be their own. A voice in their head that was almost their own, but not quite, asking what was going in and ‘why aren’t I dead?’ and other unsettling things.

Q did their best to suppress Marcus but, after the first horrible withdrawal, was unwilling to begin to take the drugs again. For weeks the two argued and fought for control for this body that had never truly belonged to either of them. First it had belonged to Joseph… then Marcus had given it to Jack willingly. And now Q refused to see them as anything but the property of Dr Port and MI6.

When a nighttime stroll would have gotten them killed, if not for Marcus’ own violent nature, Q decided that the man was perhaps so bad. And Marcus decided that nine of this was Q’s fault - they were little more than a child who had been forced to grow up and be exactly what they had been told. But maybe the future could change that.