#stoat costumes

[bleaksqueak]

for the Halloween costume thing.... I keep having visions of willow in a banana costume. idk if that's anything but i keep seeing it when I close my eyes

also Lyra would go nuts w a spiderverse doc ock costume but it probably doesnt fit chronologically. I do think her costume would be some out-veil pop culture reference tho

Everything about this is so wonderful in every horribly great way... This is also the *second* request for Willow dressup i've gotten, so here's what i'm thinking. if I do a silly /cute picture, Weasel Fashion Week is definitely what needs to happen but if I do a more serious image, willow has to be there (and in the halloween spirit), because she's proven to be the star request. (Also you're right, Lyra has likely on more than one occasion dressed up as some pop culture outveil icon she loves and absolutely lived for the moment anyone might recognize her costume. One year that just so happened to be Barbarella. That was though probably before Audric....)

[antelopefriendcorner]

When she first discovered she had telekinesis, Adrienne started with lifting things, like toys and rocks, until with practice and growing capabilities she could lift herself. She could fly, free and untethered, wherever she wished... but most importantly of all, she could help people. Just like the superheroes she looked up to, she could step in and make a difference when no one else could.

But after the telekinesis came the migraines. 

With her budding psychic powers came telepathy and an awareness of every bundle of neurons within miles in a deluge of screaming noise like the humming buzz of old fluorescent lights multiplied by a billion, directly into her mind. 

It happened in episodes at first. Manageable, even, but it began to occur more and more frequently and with far greater severity each time. The trajectory of things was clear—a short lifetime of pain and eventual death from probable brain hemorrhage. 

Her only other option was to take suppressants. She’d never hear the noise again, and could live free of pain. But she could also never fly, and she could never help people. What if something happened that only she could have stopped? 

There was another way. There was always another way. 

Scientists were building a space station, and eyeing the Moon for habitation. People could live up there, far from the noise but still so very close. 

So could she.

[aidenwaites]

I've Gotta Go To Joann's

[chungledown-bimothy]

kp hob was 3 goblins in a glamor at the start of acofaf why can't tula be 3 humans in a stoat costume

[hrokkall]

As autumn colors fall...

Week III: Crossover [x]

(Concepts + bonus sketches under the cut)

I had a LOT in my brain on this one but I’ve been busy pretty much all week. I highly doubt I’m the first to have this idea but hey, here’s my take on it at least.

Leshy takes the role of the Beast. He’s a lot more “neutral” than the Beast we see in OGTW canon, but is motivated by self-preservation all the same. Not so much in terms of living forever, I don’t think he can really “die” in this AU because he sort of embodies the Unknown as much as it embodies him (he’d still be there, but would be without a physical form... not really ideal). But he definitely wants things to stay the way they are, which was going just fine until Luke Carder decided to waltz in and “help”.

On the topic of Luke, he’s pretty much the same as in canon. Maybe he originally had a Halloween costume like the brothers do in the show, but chances are it was either some last-minute “pun” costume or something equally simple and Horribly impractical to run around the woods in (i.e. a sheet ghost), so he loses it pretty early on, leading him to stick out like a sore thumb in the otherwise lost-in-an-antique-shop feel the Unknown seems to have. I’m not sure how he got there—didn’t think that far ahead—but we’ll go with he was lured there (for whatever reason) under the pretense that he’d finally get closure regarding his sister’s death. (He’s not going to, of course—at least not literally, the Unknown isn’t really an afterlife, more of just a “crossing over”—but let him keep thinking that).

That’s all well and good for Leshy; depressing, sure, but he can just subtly shift the trees to redirect Luke’s ass home before he starts inadvertently causing trouble by prodding around (though he can keep him around for a little bit, at least. Just to see what he does, not to trap him forever; he doesn’t exactly have a lot of company in the Unknown that aren’t immediately deterred by his presence). That is, until he stumbles across a group of animals pleading for help only an outsider can give and Leshy’s plan immediately begins to crumble.

The other Scrybes pretty much serve the same role as they do in Act 1 as talking cards, or otherwise fill the same niche as Beatrice in OGTW proper. They weren’t originally animals, but they weren’t human either like Beatrice was. Instead, they were cursed by Leshy (who wasn’t too keen on continuing to share his forest with a gaggle of other supernaturally-inclined assholes) and his Woodsmen to take on their current forms. I can’t see them having been traveling together all this time, so they all individually come to Luke desperate for help and are thrilled (/s) to see the other two have done the same. But hey, they’re pretty desperate for a way out and the previous human who came through actively made things worse for them, so it’s pretty much a last-ditch effort at this point. Cue hijinks.

The previous outsider to pass through was, of course, Kaycee, who arrived in the Unknown via near death experience like OGTW canon seems to imply. Being in the Unknown for long periods of time (assuming you’re not just born there) isn’t kind to the human body; if they don’t immediately start sprouting branches, one can expect lowered body temperature, a slowed pulse, gradually not needing to blink or sleep or eat... just generally weird shit that can’t be healthy. Kaycee’s been through all of that and then some; it’s a stretch to say she’s still alive, really. She’s not really the Woodsman; she opted to befriend the beast instead and now they’re pretty much inseparable (both because they’re genuinely buddies and because it’s mutually beneficial: Leshy ensures she’s not completely consumed by the Unknown, and Kaycee ensures Leshy gets to keep his form by bringing him animals and whatnot. Win for both parties). I’d imagine she’s also the only one who refers to him as just “Leshy” and not some sort of intimidating alias (Stoat, Stinkbug, and Wolf excluded, all of which only use his name when they’re being petty).

The lantern is more of just a thematic convenience here, it’s not actually tied to Leshy’s being. Instead, he has his camera: taking pictures of creatures (or people) with it traps their own life force within the film and therefore allows him to persist for longer. The pictures themselves don’t really do anything special, nor does getting rid of them, but Kaycee probably has a room where she develops pictures anyway, if for no other reason than Luke stumbling into a room lined wall to wall with antique photographs and asking his animal companions to find themselves would be both nerve-racking and a little humorous.

Kaycee is the only other person allowed to use the camera; a little bit of a weak point for Beast!Leshy. Sure, she’s strong too (she lives in the woods mostly on her own, carries an axe, and just generally has had a ton of time to train herself up) but not nearly as much as someone who can quite literally command the trees to kill you. Probably Luke’s best chance to defeat Leshy would be to go through Kaycee, assuming he goes that route (probably not... I don’t know how this AU would “end” though).

Again, Stoat, Stinkbug, and Wolf weren’t human + are similarly unkillable so they’re a little bit of a special case. Getting their visages captured just weakened them, allowing someone else to finish the job and solidify their respective “curses”. To return them to normal... it’s also kind of a Beatrice situation, giving Luke plenty of room to run around the forest in a wild goose chase. Stunted Wolf needs his other eye back, Stinkbug needs her wings plucked, and Stoat... I don’t know what Luke needs to do with those wire cutters, but he’ll figure it out (snip its whiskers, maybe?) He waits to get all three back before returning them to normal, both out of equity (much to their disdain and/or relief) and because... honestly, I don’t think he trusts them 100%. They may be tiny, but these guys clearly still have some sort of ulterior motive, even Luke isn’t blind to that.

Anyway that’s all I’ve got. I guarantee I missed something though. Feel free to send an ask if there’s any glaring issues/places that just need elaboration (or I might add on later unprompted anyway if I have the time). Thanks for reading my massive text walls; here’s a Stoat with my favorite Beatrice line.

[sardinesandhumbugs]

Does the female weasel who seems to be the Chief’s girlfriend have a name?

I assume you mean this character?

Yep! She's Cheryl (or Sheryl, if you go by the UK tour) and is in fact a stoat!

Weasels, stoats, and foxes all have their own costume styles, with weasels having a pinstriped suit, stoats having the dark waistcoats, and foxes having hunting pinks. It's easiest to spot in this moment:

[gay-edwardian]

thanks @theluckydimecaper for tagging me!

Use this order and insert images according to how you view yourself!

1. Animal / 2. Place / 3. Plant / 4. Character / 5. Season / 6. Hobby / 7. Colour / 8. Crystal / 9. Food

Stoat (though I've been compared to a cat before) / Theatrical Costume Closets / Lavender / Sylvia Warburton (might be cheating because I made her, but it says "character" so I'm going to put her here) / Spring (it's not my favourite season but I do think I am a spring sort of person) / D&D (and other TTRPGS) / Periwinkle / Labradorite / Hot Chocolate

Who to tag... @awkwardteenprints (who also did the very good art of Sylvia up there btw), @honey-bee-fangirl, @comet1812, @fishtacofriday, and anyone else who might want to (but no pressure)

[unsleepingtales]

Burrow’s End 3!

Starting this at midnight, will likely pause at some point and finish tomorrow morning :)

Yayyy new party name

And new british thing! How did we get to #36 already?

Just now realizing that these people are the reason that ‘famously’ has entered my lexicon

Yeah they all leveled up A Lot

Character makeup!!

What’s going on with Viola. The makeup has me concerned.

YESSSSS Lila arcane trickster rogue my fucking BELOVED I’m not just saying that bc I’m currently playing an arcane trickster I’m not biased at all what are you talking about

Oh I was so caught up in the arcane trickster stuff that I forgot an important lore thing was happening lemme go back and watch it

God those tongues were horrible

Aabria’s hair looks really nice in this episode

The way we declare things like sidebar in my home game is by loudly saying PAUSE and it’s funny every time

Present tense???

“I’m not him, but I’m here” jesus man

I’m reading way too far into everything but the fact that Jasper’s scar makeup has moved is interesting to me. Why. Was this just artistic choice? Is this indicative of a character thing? Idk

Swifter than the sun faster than the hills oh babe

You’re trying to be good and make your uncle happy but also cult. Be careful babe.

Ooh Erika’s makeup and hair are really cool

Look, check it out :D

Full macbeth

YES I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT THAT

Ohhh their colors. Everyone in earth tones except for Rashawn/Viola. Brennan/Tula and the kids in lighter colors, Erika/Ava in darker tones and shades of grey. Jasper/Thorn in dark tones but also blue. God this is why I love costuming. So cool.

Latin?? Dura Mater, Pia Mater

Children?? Prophetic vision??

“It always is what it is” cmon man

How does this cis man so deeply understand what being a daughter is and distill it so perfectly

Am I detecting some envy in having a husband who listens?

Oop

A mErRy BaNd

Ohhh the warning in saying that something she’s interested in is also one of their mother’s interests. That’s a family thing.

Custom background called stoat mom. Full long rest in short amount of time would be such a good feat and make so much sense for it.

Sometimer’s 😭

Funeral rite for the bear oh my god

Oh tears. Just tears.

TWENTY SEVEN INSIGHT

So many of your deeper thoughts must be put away for the sake of moving forward.

Oooooof

Familial duty is such a mindfuck

The FACE

Awww Ava backstory a bit <3

Thompson’s gonna make partner!

The white mascara is such a good touch it really makes the look

Ooh lore time

HAZMAT SUIT

Testing your power through blind fury? Super duper safe.

Let’s hear it for making bad rolls work within the plot!

Augh

Oh yeah this has all been ONE DAY

Healthy coping mechanism!

That was excellent

Speaking of their long rest. I’m gonna go to sleep. I’ll finish the ep in the morning! (Editor's note: I did not. I finished it the next evening. Such is life.)

Yes that is for real how sleep works and how I act when something insane happened in the middle of the night that I couldn’t deal with in the moment

Effective lessons in communication!

OOF

She wants to save her familyyyy

Siblings!

Those aren’t transferable 💀

No one should be mad at anyone, so if you’re ever feeling mad… don’t.

GOOD ONES

Ooh Jaysohn level of Rogue!

I love the overlapping conversations

Izzy and Siobhan are so good at embodying children’s randomness

Izzy WHAT

He’s a cool dude, he’s just being weird right now

Character choices :D

Ooooh the music being so heavily electronic is so interesting to me

Follow your instincts towards the Light?

Why would it have been bulgarian babe

Jesus

Oh that’s actually such a good way to explain that

Love a shenan!

Solid pigeon impression

Yeah a cult leader would have a +9 to performance wouldn’t he

I feel like this should be a wisdom save or smth to not go insane at what’s happening to him rn

W h a t

He is actually so cursed

WOOOOOOO

Oh that is HITTING

She’s so TIRED

Oooh okay next week looks Wild can't wait

[flintox]

Closing Up.

"Uh- ma'am? Is it okay if I leave early today? I forgot to take my size stabiliz-"

Her employer scoffed. "We're short staffed as is, so no." The leopard said.

"But-" She started to argue but her boss just walked away from the tigress. Hopefully she'd last the rest of her shift.

---

Her hand shook as she handled the tiny cup between two fingers, thanking the stars that the costumer had ordered a large cup. She put the cup on the counter "One large lattè!"

"T-thanks." The stoat could barely see the barista's face past her apron, shaking as he left a 20% tip.

---

"I gotta leave early. You close up tonight."

She jumped, hitting her head on the ceiling despite being on her knees. Her boss walked past her, the leopard even noticing the 12ft tall cat as she rushed out the door "B-but-"

The door slammed shut, leaving her alone at the cafe.

---

It was an hour after closing. She couldn't even move to get comfortable without hearing the crunch of a table under her arm or the breaking of mugs from her tail.

The only comfort was the fact that her thigh blocked the door, meaning she technically did manage to close up.

The tiger sighed, her breath blowing the tip jar on the counter to the ground. This would be the second workplace she was gonna outgrow this year.

She hoped her growth insurance would cover the damages, knowing she wasn't even a 10th of her max size...

[megatronsimp]

So we went to see a Christmas Carol at this old mansion in St. Paul and oh my gods the costuming. I normally don’t like plays but it was set up haunted house style and absolutely fantastic. Mom’s friend played the ghost of Christmas present and she was amazing af. Mom told her about my previous sketch and she sent me references. There was one scene where she holds out her cape for Scrouge to take like that and kinda jumpscares him and the rest of us, so I was basing it off that.

The other sketch is the ghost of Christmas past and it just SANG at me. Not literally but I adored the costume. It’s fully black, the top part is a veil where you could kinda see the black mask underneath but not the person. The dress was Victorian mourner’s style sorta and the arms were like those long ass gloves rich people wear. The arm of furs was how it spoke and there was like a weasel or stoat at the end it spoke thru in a Scottish accent.

Mom and I kept loosing our shit when we walked by because it made these like low key animal noises that were super soft. Like chitters and stuff.

Overall I’m super glad we went and I absolutely want to go back again if they do it next year.

I don’t normally do humans because I feel I suck at them, but holy crap I impress myself sometimes especially since the ghost of Christmas present was on paper semi based off a pose reference.

[bleaksqueak]

... I told myself I wasn't going to post this version, but I'm weak and about to head off of the computer for the night, so here. the Black & White + strong bronze/green pop version.

[antelopefriendcorner]

A far younger Lancer, before she had an official costume and before she was... well, Lancer. 

[nenekiribookwyrm]

October 2022 Update!

Fall is in full swing! Here's a quick roundup of what's been going on this, the spookiest of months. First off, Happy Halloween! I've got a bunch of Halloween related news to share and hope that you get a chance to celebrate today. Wear a silly costume, watch your favorite scary movie, and treat yourself to something sweet!

If you missed my announcement last month, I've got a new short story, "What Lurks Beneath the Pile", out in the horror anthology Beast Vol. 1 from Sinister Stoat Press! It's perfect for the Halloween season and the stories I've read so far have all been great. There's a good mix of horror genres in the anthology including erotic horror, so there should be something for everyone. If you think that sounds up your alley, then you can order it from the shop here: https://www.weaselpress.com/shop/beastvol1

Weasel Press is also hosting a giveaway raffle for a bunch of great furry themed books and you should check it out. Here's the Twitter link to enter the raffle if you think you'd be interested in the books: https://twitter.com/weaselpress/status/1583953340978692097 I participated in my work's Halloween party and dressed up as a punk werewolf and think that my costume came out really well! I ended up getting 3rd place overall which is pretty good considering the competition was stiff this year. I'm really proud of how I did the chest hair since it was just measuring out a piece of faux fur and cutting a small hole for my head to stick through. I'm not the most handy when it comes to sewing or cosplay, so finding a lower effort solution that worked really well had me feeling proud. In the spirit of the season, I carved a pumpkin that my family gave me on a recent visit and think that it turned out pretty spooky. I put in a rainbow colored dragon candle I got from a pride event for extra ambience.  October is also Furry Book Month and the Furry Writer's Guild has been running a deal on a set of 9 books for $10. That's an insane value and there's only a little bit of time left to grab it. If you think that any of these books look good, then you should pick up the bundle! I've been enjoying Reborn, which I picked up from this bundle this month. It was also easy to upload the book's files to my Google Play account so I can read them on my phone if that helps sway your decision to buy. https://furrywritersguild.gumroad.com/l/FurryBookMonthBundle Oxfurred Comma Con 2022 happened this month as well! I was too busy to participate this year with the exception of submitting to the Flash Fiction Contest. Didn't win the prize this year but I'm really proud of how my story, "Names Are Given to Me, I Do Not Take Them" turned out. 500 words isn't a lot of runway but I think I'm getting better at using that limited palette. There's also a ton of videos which I'm working on watching through archived on their Twitch channel to view all of the programming they had this year: https://www.twitch.tv/furwritersguild That's everything this time! Have a delightfully scary time today and make sure to research your local candidates for the upcoming election next week!

Posted using PostyBirb

[sardinesandhumbugs]

I just realized... in the musical, or atleast the West End production... there's only like, what, four foxes?? Maybe five if you count the one with Fox News?? I don't know, maybe my math us just bad or I can't count them with them all moving around, but I feel like there's more Stoats and Weasels than there are foxes

Ohhh foxes are interesting. Yeah, there are significantly fewer foxes than there are stoats or weasels in the musical, and my guess is that this is either a nod to the book (foxes are only mentioned twice in the whole book, and never during the retaking of Toad Hall) OR because the foxes’ riding pinks costumes would upstage the rest of the Wild Wooders’ darker costumes. 

They don’t even start on-stage during the Taking Over the Hall song at the beginning of Act 2, only appearing when they bring in Portia, and then mostly staying upstage (and sneakily tidying up some of the props while the stoats and weasels keep the audience’s eye trained on them) and neither are they in the jury (which is probably more so they can double as Other Characters)

In-universe explanation for this? This is something which @dontbecattyratty suggested, and it’s that foxes are just... kinda odd. 

Between their costumes being literal riding pinks (the sort humans wear to, y’know, hunt foxes), them being the only Wild Wooder we see existing outside the Wild Woods (Fox News), and their habit for staying out of the limelight (being either upstage or skipping the court/jury scene entirely) they never quite fit in with the rest of the Wild Wooders. 

The musical even takes Ratty’s “they can’t be trusted” line from the book, which originally could have been about all Wild Wooders, and makes it specifically about foxes. 

Ratty: Not that I’ve got anything against foxes - we are always polite when we meet, but they’ve got some nasty habits and they can’t be trusted and that’s just the truth.

I also talked previously about animals who skirt too close to humanity being just odd by default, and in the UK foxes are more common in urban areas than rural (since farmers don’t take too kindly to them, and farmers are one of few type of people in the UK who you can expect to own a gun) so I hc the musical foxes as being of the urban type and thus far too comfortable around humans. 

So yeah, the foxes raise some interesting questions and also some fun potential for headcanons :D

[harrietvane]

do you mind talking about why you dislike Love Actually and Richard Curtis's romcoms? I've seen you mention it in some of your tags and I'd love to hear your thoughts :)

Long post, so scroll now, ye who care not.

OK, so like better voices than mine have articulated Why Love Actually Sucks Balls, but you were kind enough to ask for my view, so strap in I’m gonna talk about Jane Eyre, and the 1990’s Fran Drescher sitcom The Nanny also. It’s coming up on western civilisations’ holiday season, so why not, it’s a good time to tell this movie to choke, because it’s about to be repeatedly thrust upon us once again. (Disclaimer: I acknowledge Richard Curtis is responsible for Blackadder and Vicar of Dibley, so whatever else, we’re still cool on that basis. But I have spite and to spare, so there’s plenty to go around).

My main beef is actually the context. Technically, if all of the below bullshit was in an offbeat movie from any other movie market (I’m thinking maybe a French, or Spanish movie from the 90′s boom, Almodovar style?), the focus would probably be a black humour take on ‘Lord What Fools These Mortals Be!’, sort of look at the inherent ridiculousness of mankind, and how we get in our own way, blah blah, might have been cute. I’d buy that. This movie? A british movie for the american market? It’s sold with a big holiday sticker on it saying ‘ROMANCE’, and specifically ‘ADORABLE ASPIRATIONAL ROMANCE THAT YOU SHOULD ADORE AND ASPIRE TO’. Also the context *inside* the movie itself (through a narration voiceover no less) is that all of these narratives is somehow proof that ‘Love, Actually is all around’, and specifically in a good, wholesome, happy way, overall at least. These stories are redeeming, even if they’re not all happy, they’re Good™ or whatever. The context outside the movie is the same: british TV advertising, hard copy packaging, holiday specials, outdoor gala screenings: they all say over and over: THIS IS SQUISHY HOT PINK NEON LOVE, wholesome, healing, and healthy. You should want this, aspire to this, think this is the cat’s pyjamas! It’s a wide and varied look at the beautiful power of love from all angles, comic, tragic, the lot. 

Is it fuck. The ‘positive’ romance stories range from Stage-5 Creeper to Crotch Puppet Afterthought, the ‘melancholy’, thwarted romance stories seem to say ‘if you’re a woman who’s not readily/immediately bangable to your allocated straight dude, romance is over for you I’m afraid’. Let’s recap, shall we:

Much has already been said about Andrew Lincoln’s character BLANTANTLY SHARKING ON HIS BEST MATE’S WIFE being uhhh, less than fresh. I don’t even feel like I need to justify this one, it’s so over-the-top. The main point is that movie itself maintains this as a tragic, swoony, thwarted, heart-string-tugging missed connection, rather than The Worst Friend Ever (meaning: it assumes we’ll be 100% onboard with Keira Knightley skipping secretly away from Chiwetel Eijiofor to grant his best mate one treasured kiss, as opposed to saying ‘what the FUCK Mark, why are you telling me this, this is super inappropriate?? and my only wedding video is just you zooming in on my face? Pls get help’.

We all love National Treasure Colin Firth and all, but like is Love, Actually fixating on a woman who literally can’t speak to you? Has said nothing understandable to you? About whose own life you’ve never yet, and could never have asked about? Whose main interactions with you have been to wordlessly clean your room, bring you food, and tidy it away after? Your ideal woman, who you meet immediately following a break up, is one who silently meets all your domestic needs, while making zero emotional or intellectual demands on you whatsoever? WOW, SHOCKER. (Oh but it’s cute or whatever, they have him propose, and there’s a mix up when her sister appears, but she’s Ugly™, so it’s funny that the sister is not getting romance. I mean, how could she, an uggo?? Classic joke. Good times.)

The Prime Minster and his tea lady: more on Curtis’ Domestic Servitude Kink below, whoo boy.

Laura Linney would really really like to sleep with Rodrigo Santoro, and god bless her who wouldn’t, but she is tragically unable to, because she has family commitments as being the sister – not even fulltime carer, just RELATED TO -  a brother living with disability. Sorry folks, romance is OFF THE CARDS, FOREVER for Laura here. How can she??? That’s the nature of love, actually. Can you have sex right now this moment? No? Whelp, sorry, thanks for playing, back to the Tragic Assisted Living facility for you. Gosh it’s unfortunate that’s a truth universally acknowledged that any whiff of disability = no romance for you ever. (Don’t start me on 4 Weddings* [edit: *it’s totally Notting Hill, not 4 Weddings, thank] and how that husband is like The Best because he continues to love his wife even though her legs don’t work. What a champ, honestly, do they have an award for that?) I have to stop now before I get sarcasm poisoning, but my eyes will continue to roll.

How could I say anything bad about the Liam Neeson widower and his adorable lovestruck son storyine? Lol, I’m gonna. Have you seen the Buffy episode The Zeppo? Xander is convinced the only way girls (as a concept, not in the specific) will like him enough to sleep with him is if he has A Thing. The Thing is posited as ‘being cool’ by having an object or skill that alone will be the magic bullet to romance. Musical instrument prowess is considered, and he ends up just getting a car to be his Thing. This just seems like a redux of that logic. This kid could get some genuine direction from the movie to get to know this girl, learn her interests and share his, see if she likes him as a person by being A PERSON, but the narrative just backs away from that and eventually DOES just say ‘play the drums in the show, she’ll like you’ and that’s …it. But it’s cool, teenagers don’t learn key interpersonal dynamics at this age or anything, she kisses him for some reason, whatever. (Bonus points for gifting his dad with a literal supermodel as a punchline, after making that an actual joke earlier about the shallow nature of attraction, and love is about filling a one-sided need.)

I could go on, but I have very little to say about Freeman falling for a girl whose tits he’s been holding for a week, the no-homo pop star Nighy plot, or the guy that goes and has sex in Wisconsin with Bond Girls, and can’t be bothered, which leads me to…

Richard Curtis’ Domestic Servitude Kink. Must I kinkshame Richard Curtis in his own home?? Nope, I’m kinkshaming him AT WORK in his narratives, surrounded by his nubile, pliant, adorable female employee characters. Oh Mr Curtis, I seem to have dropped a pencil!

OK, so like a M/F Domestic Servitude romance is an extremely old trope, and extremely common, and I’m not here to tear that up, because done well it’s amazing, lot of petrol in that King Cophetua narrative tank. I’m a fan. The most famous in-context historical example being Jane Eyre, for instance: he’s her boss, she’s his paid subordinate, they’re both 100% aware of that. It’s a great way to explore the real-life class and power dynamics of these 2 train wrecks of human beings, and they vomit their ridiculous drama llama feelings all over a 600 page novel. Super fun, they’re both awful humans, I love them. Mid-century you might have The Sound of Music, and in more modern times you get 1990s sitcom The Nanny, both extremely well-developed romances involving paid employees, and part of their value is that the shows KNOW THIS. They’re aware it’s the basis for their dynamic, that they have to directly play with that, and develop beyond to go anywhere. Watching Fran Fine in her runway-fresh Moschino minidresses jump on Maxwell Sheffield’s desk for the 800th time making him super uncomfortable (and not a little turned on) is always such a treat. It’s right out there on the label. The problem with Love, Actually, is Curtis doesn’t want to admit that naughty secretary seems to be a cornerstone of what gets him going, romantic-stylez. 

One (1) time in the movie would be ‘sure, why not’. Literally the highest political office in the land, making overtures to the woman who brings him tea, i guess might be a bit off, but let’s say it’s done well, and maybe Hugh Grant and Martine McCutcheon’s charisma gets us over the line (his behaviour is cute because her last man didn’t like her body, but the prime minister DOES like her body! so it’s cute!). Whatever, seen worse. Two (2) times however is making a point, and Colin Firth is driving his silent portuguese maid home - not a french maid but so close! - and deciding he’d like her to bring him tea and clean his toilet for as long as they both shall live, and that also seems to be her greatest joy. Ah, l’amour. OK, I guess you like the thing, everyone has a thing, but at least you’re done now. Wait, you mean there’s a third (3rd) one? Everyone’s Fave Alan Rickman drives the plot of his own marriage’s tragic romance because he’s having stiffening feelings about his own Naughty Secretary halloween costume, after all. All the beautiful speeches about Joni Mitchell give Thompson some nice things to do, but it still assumes the Nature of Romance is to want to plough the help. A man can’t help it! It’s how romantic attraction works! Once would be whatever. Three times and there’s a tag on Ao3 for that, so please just scratch that itch and stop selling it to me in a heartwarming christmas movie as the Universal Nature Of Romance, so varied, so vast, the full spectrum! Just 2 hours to tell a story: but 3 whole narratives and 7 actors devoted to the variants on the naughty maid story. My point is be upfront about it and I’d be all for it - pretend it’s not A Thing You’re Doing and my creep-meter goes ping. Steven Shainberg’s ‘Secretary’ has a scene where the boss literally puts a saddle on his employee, and I find it to be one of the most genuinely moving romances I’ve ever seen. Love Actually makes me feel like Curtis is sending me a ‘u up?’ late night text about his secretary fantasy.

Anyway, I fucking hate this film, and not necessarily because of the content, but because of the context. The movie tells me to love it as aspirational romance. My culture tells me to love it as aspirational romance. Everyone tells me to love it as a varied and full exploration of reasons to get up in the morning, because it’s an aspirational romance. It makes me want to claw my own face off.

[braemjeorn]

stray kids and their dæmons

coz braem's finished reading the golden compass and is rather impressed.

notes:

— based on 'his dark materials' by phillip pullman

— somewhat based on skzoo or their general (?) impression so it's not exactly soul-accurate. but it's for fun anyway so, enjoy!!

bang chan - grey wolf

kpop leader's dæmons either are intimidating or elegant and graceful

she is intimidating. and graceful. and pretty.

yet in truth, very loving, like channie!!

chills on the sofa during chan's room, and aggressively nuzzles chan when he gets fuzzy and giggly thinking about the kids or stays

pounces on the kids' dæmons at the same time chan's cuddling or teasing them (or hoists them up his shoulder, whichever)

but would lick and curl about them coz wolves are nurturing

growls at hate comments; chan would stare after dodging them "casually" and she'd stare back pointedly

[btw i really like this picture combo, rather proud of maself]

lee know - leopard cat

(gently) paws/slaps the other dæmons when minho can only stare and be done with the kids

i thought about recent fansigns and how she'd give such big loving soft eyes to the fans behind the glass separator

climbs on minho's back, then settles on his shoulder

when the kids ask for help, minho's tsundere self would be refusing it all and being reluctant

but she'd already be sniffing about the dæmons or any object concerning the problem and just wait for minho to check himself

sits on top of cabinets while minho cooks

and paws his cheek when he sleeps lol

changbin - black leopard

or more commonly known as black panther except the black is actually melanization!

someone in twitter said this i think, but like yeah, with bin's powerful gaze—why not black panther?

the panther forms came out when he starts to learn raps, the more powerful and confident he came to be with his skills as a trainee

and the biggest among the eight dæmons, even more than chan's wolf. bin's very proud of her.

cos then she can give big protective warm cuddles! you bet she let the other's dæmons just pile on her

closed, contented eyes as bin pats her or when bin himself is just pleased at himself and happy and giggly

NO BUT IMAGINE THEM WALKING TO SMTM—

hyunjin - ermine

or more commonly known as stoat! ermine is when their coat get white in the winter

would curl around his neck, and make the cutest selfie combo

zooms up hyunnie's long ass leg to do that

but that would muss up hyunjin's long hair as well so...

she'd sneeze, and hyunjin would laugh

they paint together! paw prints!!

would stand on its hind legs when hyunjin's confused

shrieks a little when hyunjin's (dramatically) surprised but would immediately nuzzle his prone/shocked form

han - siberian flying squirrel

THIS TINY WHITE FLOOF

WITH BIG EYES

IMAGINE 3RACHA ASSEMBLING AND THIS FLOOF IS JUST THERE BETWEEN A WOLF AND A BLACK LEOPARD

dives in between jisung's harnesses and the odd cuts in his stage costumes

or his pockets!

hangs upon his collar, everytime—easier access to nuzzle jisung's cheek and comfort him

the mirroring confusion look in their eyes at times

glides out to the other dæmons' head when they're cuddling or han's teasing everyone

felix - american yellow warbler

happy cheerful little twitters!

especially when yongbok's cuddling the members

then she'd settle on other dæmons head for some while

sits on felix's head usually—likes to perch on heads!

flies in a flutter or bounces about when he's excited

pecks the other dæmon's head when he's annoyed

but it's also a form of affection

alongside flying around the others while chirping nonstop

seungmin - golden retriever

chases everybody around when seungmin's in a mischievous mood

stares and wags it's tongue

and barks after seungmin says "dda!"

even more when seung makes a mischievous statement and everybody lol-ed

otherwise a good, happy boy

especially in public events—the press just coos over them (unaware of the seungmin 'main maniac' agenda...)

would just lick seungmin's face all of a sudden and make him laugh

i.n - fennec fox

still shifts when he debuts, up to two years later

the hyungs got dramatic when she obtained her final shape

but jeongin himself is somewhat relieved and reflects a lot about maturity (this maknae...)

zooms about when jeongin's excited

that jackson wang meme where he says "cute" with a flat face? yeah.. that's the mood here.

always on jeongin's lap—interviews, fansigns, during makeup in the waiting room

rather quiet—but will definitely shrieks and barks when the hyungs are tackling and cuddling jeongin

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pictures cr. to pinterest

© braemjeorn 2022—