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patchun · 3 years

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WBaWC Deep Dive: Part 2/2

In the game's preliminary description, ZUN describes it as "a shooting game that's darker than usual, full of animal elements, and just a bit aggressive."

Part 1 here.

Yachie Kicchou. Is this maybe the longest profile of any Touhou character? Yachie's profile gives us more information than anything else about the Animal Realm, so I'd highly recommend reading all of it before we continue. Scroll down and find her profile, then click "Expand." If you're on mobile, this will look pretty bad, so switch to the Desktop mode. While reading, keep this in mind: this profile seems to be just about the only instance of a perspective from a beast spirit. This isn't a neutral perspective, this isn't ZUN's perspective - this is the perspective of a beast spirit, though it doesn't seem to be Yachie's own perspective. I'll be giving my evidence of this later.

The Animal Realm, the ultimate survival-of-the-fittest world.

It's a world where the strong rule as they desire... or at least it was, until a few beasts that were just a little more clever and wily than others began to form organizations.

By now, a select handful of gigantic organizations dominate the world.

The thing about WBaWC is that it's very vague. ZUN does not come out and say "animal rights", he does not say "you should be a vegan", or anything like that. The only thing ZUN wants us to do, without a doubt, is to think about these things, in particular the power dynamic we currently have between humans and animals in the modern world. I mentioned previously the argument for humans to have moral rights because of sentience, and then because of intelligence - but there is another line of reasoning that is used frequently. "This is just the natural order. The survival of the fittest." Opponents of animal rights will say this. But ZUN makes it very clear here - this world no longer follows those rules at all. "It's a world where the strong rule as they desire... or at least, it was..."

Further in her profile, we learn that the beast spirits finally found peace when they gathered all the humans into one area like farm animals and made them into their slaves. So, ZUN begins the game by introducing three characters which cause us to question our notion of moral status, two of which (Urumi and Kutaka) are animals that humans mistreat on a massive scale today, and then, he flips it - puts humans on the other side - all to ask a simple question. "Do you like this? Are you happy with this?" When humans are the ones being dominated, are you satisfied?

Now, there are some really crucial lines here that indicate that this profile is not actually an accurate account, but rather, the situation as told by one of the lesser beast spirits.

Almost all of the animal spirits already have no chance of victory by themselves, and the only way to survive was to team up with one of these organizations and continue fighting as their slaves forever.

Even as everyone continues to fight to exhaustion, an organization can never be stopped.

Pre-Primate Spirit Garden. This is what indicates to me that this is not Yachie's direct perspective. This wouldn't be a beneficial narrative in order for her to maintain her status as a member of the ruling class.

The beast organizations' ruling classes created a shelter for the humans, so that they could continue to be used as ever-capable slaves without going extinct.

The shelter was called the Primate Spirit Garden.

Only when they looked over the Primate Spirit Garden, filled with humans who had no means of resisting, did each of the organizations forget about their conflict. The Primate Spirit Garden was a peaceful recreational facility for everyone in the Animal Realm.

The word here, "shelter" generally has a positive association, right? And look at the last sentence: a peaceful recreational facility for everyone in the Animal Realm? That doesn't sound right. Now, sure, this is interesting, but why am I bringing up that this profile is from the perspective of a beast spirit? What does that matter to our overall understanding of the situation? Well, because of this next line, also within Yachie's profile:

The human spirits intended to devote themselves to the divinity beyond the idols, but they actually came to worship the idols themselves.

As a result, it was only natural that these idols began to dominate the humans.

The idols took control of the Primate Spirit Garden, and the status of the human spirits plummeted to the bottom once again. In being dominated by idols, the Primate Spirit Garden became the most awful, out-of-control organization of all.

Because this, according to everything else I've read, is NOT an accurate description of what ended up happening. The word "dominate" here is particularly noteworthy - from the perspective of a beast spirit, who within this world only understand things from a lens of survival of the fittest, that is exactly what this situation appears as. The thing is, this is where the game's vagueness makes interpretation very difficult - but here's what we know. We know from Yachie's profile that the human spirits were miserable while being ruled by the beast spirits, so much so that they cursed their helpless existences and prayed to Keiki. And we also know this, from ZUN's SCoOW interview:

Q: What do the human spirits who summoned Keiki think of her?

A: The game doesn't mention even a word of that, after all. In that world, the human spirits are nothing more than "materials". Everyone's fighting to steal those materials from each other. Keiki doesn't think of them as anything but materials, either. The reason for that is because the humans in that world want to be that way. You could say they just wanted to become cogs in a better society.

These descriptions... don't really match up, right? You'd read Yachie's profile and assume that the situation got really out of control, that the humans were miserable. Even according to ZUN in the interview, it has gotten out of control to some extent, but... also according to ZUN, this is... what they wanted. So, all that to say, Yachie's profile is not an unbiased description. I thought that was pretty interesting, and it will be important to consider when we talk about the situation of the human spirits under Keiki.

But for now, let's go back to the beast spirit's story of what happened - humans were dominated by the idols and plummeted to the bottom once again.

Survival of the fittest - the law of the animal realm. It's what's natural. What's natural, according to the beast spirits, is good! There is actually a philosophical moral theory called "natural law", and it's kind of the basis for the survival of the fittest argument. But it's also usually used to argue against stuff like homosexuality, abortion, being trans, etc... so uh, I have yet to meet any actual philosophers who use that theory (though I'm sure they exist). In the end, natural law is kind of shaky - because you have to ask the question - if what is natural is what is good, then what exactly do we define as natural? For example, we can look at penguins and see homosexuality, does that mean that natural law can no longer be used to attack homosexuality? Vaccines aren't natural, right? Cars aren't natural, right? Modern technology isn't natural, right? So are these things morally bad? But that's the thing - those three things I said may not be """natural""" according to the general public, but how exactly are they not natural? Vaccines, cars, and modern technology, those things are all made from nature, one way or another. Homosexuality, even if it DIDN'T occur in "nature" occurs within humans for sure! And humans are natural! What we view as natural is fully dependent, more or less, on what we were taught to view as natural. At the end of the day, isn't everything natural? And this is where things get really funny, because in many instances, natural law has been used cynically to defend the status quo and oppression. People were taught that black people were lesser, so it was natural to have them serve us. They were taught homosexuals were unnatural, so keep believing in the church and giving us money. They were taught that animals are meant to be eaten, that's how it is in the wild, so factory farms are okay. These arguments tend not to say "the current power structure isn't natural, so we need to dismantle it" but almost always "the current way things are is the way things should stay." So when we look at Mayumi Joutouguu...

You may not like it,

But this is what peak performance looks like.

Unable to be harmed by anything spiritual, Mayumi and the other idols are invulnerable to the attacks of beast spirits, easily able to defend the humans from their attacks. In other words, in the Animal Realm... Mayumi Joutouguu IS THE FITTEST. Really let that sink in. The Animal Realm, where the strong rule over the weak. Mayumi Joutouguu is the peak of that strength - and yet?

"I shall liberate the human spirits (our prey)

from you accursed idols! Prepare yourself!

It's the law of the Animal Realm that the strong eat the weak!"

From Reimu(Wolf).

"The god of destruction who broke the laws of animal-kind!

Keiki Haniyasushin!"

And this is just two instances. On multiple occasions, Keiki is referred to as having somehow broken the natural law by the beast spirits. And I'm sure that's what the beast spirits believe, because, in Youmu's Otter ending:

"Youmu returns to the Primate Spirit Garden and finds Yachie and Keiki squaring off. Youmu is confused by this and asks if the two of them get along well. Yachie explains that there is no such thing as ‘getting along’ in the Animal Realm. Keiki is surprised by this, stating that she was willing to work with the beast spirits in the future. Yachie acknowledges Keiki as a worthy opponent, but she then states that Keiki must be removed in consideration for the struggle for resources. Keiki tells Youmu that the resources Yachie refers to are the human spirits. Youmu is disturbed by this. Yachie then points out that is another reason why Keiki doesn’t belong here. She states the animal spirits are resources too. In the Animal Realm, everyone is driven by selfishness. Yachie follows the natural order here. However, Keiki, who was summoned by the human spirits, had thought differently."

No longer is the natural law "survival of the fittest", but rather, "everyone is driven by selfishness." Natural law was only used as a justification for the power structures within the Animal Realm until the ruling class was displaced. This game, by and large, follows the narratives of the ruling classes, from the beast spirits to Keiki herself. In that way, the second half of the game is asking more questions about power than it is about animal ethics. It's likely that Yachie and the other beast spirit heads are the ones who present this narrative to the lesser beast spirits, who we have already established according to her profile earlier are miserable, "fighting to exhaustion as the slaves of the large organizations, which could not be stopped". Gives me some serious neoliberalism vibes, but because of the lack of structure in the Animal Realm, I don't think it would be easy to make a political comparison.

So yeah, it's really funny that Mayumi and Keiki aren't really breaking any rules. They're just the new fittest, and the beast spirit ruling class isn't happy with that.

Some side notes about Mayumi:

It's been predicted that the workforce of human and animal spirits will be gradually replaced by the more efficient haniwa, because they can be immediately repaired after they've been destroyed, they can't get sick, and they don't need any rest.

In the SCoOW interview, ZUN compares Mayumi and the idols to AI. He's kind of an old man about it, too, saying that the humans went from being slaves to the beast spirits to being slaves to technology. But if you recall, I mentioned labor when we talked about Eika, and I did so because, well... We don't really have any idea what kind of labor the human and beast spirits are doing, WBaWC is too vague, and doesn't give us much detail. But, ZUN presents this idea, and then describes the Primate Spirit Garden under Keiki as kind of an opposite extreme "dystopia". According to ZUN:

A real "civilization gone too far" situation, where it's becoming a dystopia in a really obvious way.

The way I see it, it's something where "they built objects to rule over the world with, and in the end came to be ruled by those objects." The same as AIs and the like.

But also remember earlier, where ZUN says that that's what the human spirits wanted. Here it's almost as if ZUN is kind of bringing up a WALL-E type situation, where humans will no longer have to work, and every need of theirs will be taken care of by their idols. A very old man thing to say, but what's funny is actually another line that was just a bit earlier in the interview about Mayumi and the haniwa.

Haniwa certainly are mysterious; you wonder why everyone was making them. Archaeology is quick to ascribe religious reasons to anything it doesn't understand, but if you think about it with today's moral values in mind, it might not seem that way. I've thought about things like that for a long time. Personally, I believe they made them just because they felt like it. That might not have been the initial reason, but the act of creation itself gradually became enjoyable, and they started making more variations. To fulfill their creative desires, you know?

Think about that for a second. ZUN has introduced a society with very little forced labor, and called it dystopian. But he has also just stated that he believes that the people who made haniwa worked on them because they wanted to. To be honest, I don't know if ZUN even realizes this.

Finally, Keiki Haniyasushin. Thanks for sticking with me so far. Taking a look at her profile, the main thing that stands out to me is this:

The idols she creates are excellent items that can gather faith, act as stand-ins, play with you, and decorate your home.

A very different description than what was given by the beast spirit, huh? Is this what Keiki thinks her idols are doing? Is it actually what her idols are doing, and the beast spirits simply see that as domination because they can't comprehend any other way? Or is this just a little joke? Or is it somehow all of these? WBaWC is too vague! I'm sorry, but I don't know! Without a human spirit perspective on this, we really just can't deduce that. All we know is that the human spirits for sure liked living under Keiki more than living under the beast spirits.

As for Keiki, I don't have all that much philosophical to say, but I did think these quotes from the Marisa endings were cool.

Marisa (Otter)

"Yachie then explains the story from the beast spirits’ perspective. Marisa thinks it would have been better if she was told this from the start. Yachie apologies, but she reasons that didn’t want to risk failure. According to her, if she revealed the plan to the humans, there would be a chance Keiki would hear about it. However, Marisa was unable to read Yachie’s true intentions from her words. It is suggested that Marisa just didn’t see Keiki as an evil god."

Marisa (Eagle)

To Marisa, Keiki didn’t seem like an evil god. She wonders why the beast spirits hated her so much.

While Reimu and Youmu viewed what they were doing as more like work, Marisa was just in it for the ride, and as a result, she had some interesting thoughts about Keiki when she reflected on what she had just done. Keiki is one of the few Touhou bosses to not recognize at all that she was doing something bad, because Keiki doesn't believe she was doing anything bad. It's mentioned multiple times that she planned to coexist with the beast spirits "so long as they started to respect human spirits". Which casts further doubt on the description of the haniwa in Yachie's profile, which almost made it sound like they were going around indiscriminately slaughtering beast spirits. Wouldn't that be unnecessary if they were invincible?

Keiki's relationship to human spirits could also be looked at as pet ownership, or more accurately, like animals at a zoo or preservation area, I think. Caring for their every need, protecting them from the cruel "survival of the fittest" world outside. I mean, I don't have a problem with pet ownership at all, but I do have a problem with people who own pets irresponsibly and don't try as hard as they can to meet their pets' needs. My cat is my son.

The last thing I'll say is this: Keiki is coming back. Probably in 17.5. This may not be news to those of you who have already looked into this, but let me inform you if not. Marisa (Wolf)'s Extra, after beating Saki:

Marisa: I got no idea what the politics of the Animal Realm are like...... But I can hardly imagine this family o'yours ruling it. There's no denyin' you guys are strong, but......

Saki: What is it?

Marisa: Keiki strikes me as the most dangerous person.

Somehow it seems like she can come at us with all her power again.

And in Reimu (Wolf)'s ending:

Afterward, Reimu learns that Keiki threw the Animal Realm into chaos through her idolatry. She had the feeling that not humans vs. beasts, not physical vs. spiritual, but a religious confrontation was approaching.

And in Youmu (Eagle)'s ending:

Later, Keiki Haniyasushin showed up on Earth. This wasn’t too surprising since Keiki was never a god of the Animal Realm in the first place. However, for some reason, it seemed eerily likely that the Animal Realm’s survival of fittest conflict would follow Keiki into the surface world.

And personally that makes me very excited. And we just got a game about markets?? Hm...

FINALLY. This game has heavy Buddhist themes, and I am no expert on Buddhism, but:

Saki Kurokoma, Prince Shoutoku's horse that was ridden around to spread Buddhism. I don't have much to say about this character, haha. But I figured you'd want to see her anyways, and it's my Buddhism segue.

As far as Buddhism goes, the "animal realm" is one of the realms of reincarnation. To go from the human realm to the animal realm is bad, it means you were probably a pretty selfish person. Which begs us to ask, what might these people have done in their past lives? Does that mean that they deserve the suffering in the unnaturally cruel Animal Realm of Touhou? And what does that say about the dynamic we have with animals in the modern world, the parallel to the Animal Realm? Well, in the (Buddhist) animal realm, according to some Buddhist teachings, you act only on instinct and only for selfish desire. This is because of the misconception that animals act only on instinct and for selfish desire, a theme that we've played with a bit in this exploration, and a theme that ZUN strictly opposes with the character of Kutaka. If you own any pets, you already know that this just isn't true. Just like with humans, animal behavior is complex, and to attribute it to pure instinct is accurate to a degree - but the thing is, you can do the exact same thing to human behavior (we're also animals). It's just another way of creating human exceptionalism, something this game is really challenging. Specifically, the Buddhist animal realm is not a place, though, it's just a cycle of reincarnation. It's not actually a hell, not even close, it just means you've been reincarnated AS an animal in the real world. And this isn't a negative thing inherently, but it is viewed as hellish because of how animals are treated, not only by humans, but also by other animals!

So, there's probably more to say here. When reading Yachie's profile you may say, "Everyone working to exhaustion as slaves to huge organizations owned by a select few? Wow, that sounds like corporate America!" and you'd be right, and there's probably something there, to be honest. But because the Animal Realm is extremely vague, it's difficult to make any connections like that.

I think there's probably deeper stuff to dive into. Like I said, I'm no expert on Buddhism, so someone who is may be able to find a meaning that I've missed here. But to conclude,

As ZUN said, if you look for something the game is trying to show you, you'll just find a world filled with satire and vague circumstances. But... if you look for what the game is trying to ask you... there's quite a lot.

What is the criteria for moral rights? Can we create a criteria that makes sense and only applies to humans?

What is our justification for our treatment of animals in the modern world?

How would you feel about it if that dynamic was reversed?

And well, we don't really get any answers. ZUN really just gives us two pieces of his personal view:

The survival of the fittest argument is bullshit.

Natural law is bullshit.

Our current relationship with farm animals is not healthy, and we need to create a more positive image for them outside of being just our tools for food.

Thanks for reading. Reblogs appreciated.

#touhou #th17 #wbawc #wily beast and weakest creature #yachie kicchou #keiki haniyasushin #mayumi joutougu #saki kurokoma #zun #philosophy #ethics #animal rights

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chattegeorgiana · 3 years

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You keep insisting that the ending Naruto pairings are the reason Boruto's sales are nowhere near as great as Naruto's, yet how come Boruto Naruto the Movie has brought in far more income than both RTN and The last combined? The Boruto Movie has gained almost 40.000.000$ while The Last only 20.000.000$ and RTN only around 17.000.000$. The reasons boruto is not as popular as naruto was is because the plot sucks, the anime has too many garbage fillers, the artstyle in the manga sucks, the new gen characters suck, and the manga wasn't even written by Kishimoto until recently. It has nothing to do with pairings. Hell, if NS became canon, people would've hated it even more, considering how hated Sakura was, and you even admitted she is the most hated character. And you also contradict yourself. First you say she's the most hated, then you say SP missed a marketing opportunity with her... like girl make up your mind? She's the most hated character in the franchize, in a poll she was chosen as the most hated by both male and female, even Kishimoto went out of his way to say girls came at him and said how much they despised Sakura, most people don't give a shit about her, using her as marketing strategy would've done more harm than good. She's even more hated in Japan and other Asian fandoms than she is in the western fandom, and that already says a lot! You're really arrogant to assume that the "silent majority" you speak of are all NaruSaku fans. I guarantee you it isn't. In fact, most people don't even care about ships that much. NaruSakus, you along with the SNS fans, SS fans, NH fans are part of the vocal minority that has nothing better to do than bitch about ships all day long.

But did I ever say that they were THE ONLY reason they are bad? They are an integral part of it yes, but not the only one.

Just because you saw some asks of mine here on Tumblr, you just throw these things around, like this is the only place I talk about the story of Naruto and this is the only aspect I do.

Yes, here on Tumblr I might do it through the virtue of the asks I receive, but that doesn't mean it's the only space I address these matters.

I have other social media channels as well where I discuss other aspects as well. Ya know, how like Boruto is nothing more than a tweaked "cooler" wanna-be version of Naruto, with no real substance whatsoever, a story that doesn't truly leaves a message behind, a morale, with characters that are the shells of their former selves or mechanics that are skewed and "free of" any logic.

But sure, make it as if that's the only aspect I talk about if that makes you sleep well at night.

As for the reason Boruto made so much? Well, I'll tell you why: because it had NaruSasu. Because they knew they messed-up with The Last, so they did the next best thing they could to try and keep the fanbase engaged.

Focused on the biggest portion of the fanbase that gathered around both shippers and non shippers by the virtue of focusing on Sasuke and Naruto and their offsprings. You know why? Because this way they catered to two human emotions: familiarity/comfort & curiosity.

Aka familiarity via having NaruSasu and curiosity to see the new gen kids.

Which yes, had momentum and seemed to have a perfect recipe: no focus on the ships that initially brought he whole mess (Sakura and Hinata were close to non-existent in that movie), and "repaying" the fanbase that was initially pissed at the fact that people thought this was gonna be a T7 movie because of the heavy Kakashi and Ssuke advertisement when they were there to be found for onlyyy few seconds, lol.

But you see, in the test of time, Boruto failed because of the aforementioned reasons.

You say that people would've hated the ending if NS would've been canon, yet curiously enough the number of people that are even non shippers and agree to the idea that NS should've been canon has been increasing over the years. Which in a really curious way was surprising to me too as an NS fan that returned to the fandom after so long.

So you see, I am not sure exactly about that aspect there. Not to mention, since when does a story has to do what the fanbase dictates it? The story should follow its course and intended narration and that's that.

Yes, Sakura was hated, but that's not a reason to not have Naruto end-up with her because within the story mechanics we had many proofs that indicated that they should've ended together, regardless of how people felt about them.

Kishimoto didn't say girls came at him, he said girls sent him letters, which are two different things, because to his face no one truly said that, minus the editors who kept pushing Hinata forward and their bias as well.

Lol at you saying that using her as a marketing strategy would've done more harm than good when she's the only female character being marketed right now via figurines and all those other things.

So reality seems to be contradicting you a bit on that side.

Not to mention, you say that she's the most hated even in Asia and Japan? LOL, where did u even take out these lies?

The hate phenomena has always been a western fandom thing, not an Asian/Eastern fandom one.

You say that the pairings ripped with Sasuke and Naruto as well (funny how NaruSaku isn't dead even after years of being supposedly dead tho), for a character that should've been hated??

This whole hate thing was always a western fandom mirage, sadly, but in Japan and Asia she's always been loved. Like where did u even pull out that information from?

Also what I always said about a NaruSaku ending was that they could've taken a RTN route where they could've had ALL the pairings shown within a parallel universe, but sure, nice way to twist my words and make it like "I can't decide".

There are slight nuance differences which you either purposely not address or you don't know how to do the difference. The truth in this case only you know it.

But stop trying to act that high and mighty coming here on anon making it seem like ooh, I contradict myself and spread nonsense, just because you read a faction of all the ideas I discuss over my social media.

And now to address the silent majority argument. I never said silent majority are ONLY NaruSaku fans. That's what you assumed. Silent majority included NaruSaku fans yes, but also other fans who ya know, have some common sense within them and see how the story has been butchered for the sake of poorly treating a certain aspect of Naruto, which was the romantic one.

Which btw, you say that it wasn't a big deal, yet it was the no. plot included within the story, being presented as early as chapter 3, because chapter 1 and 2 revolved around Naruto wanting to become Hokage for people to acknowledge him and create bonds.

You say that the pairings aren't such a big deal in the fandom, yet guess what, SJ and SP directed a movie on that specific subject. Makes you wonder why now, doesn't it?

And it's a normal aspect to care about if you think about it for a manga that has been focused on BONDS. The romantic plot gets weaved in within the one about bonds really easily, because at the core of it it's about relationships.

And this whole world that we live it it's a relationship: between the body and the spirit, between then heaven and the earth, between friends, between relatives. EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD HAS A RELATIONSHIP BASIS: atom interacts with atom and here we are, living, breathing beings.

But sure, come to me and paint me in this way you're trying as if talking about relationships and their quality is a bad thing.

Mhmm.

Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

You're free to have your opinion, sure.

I just happen to not agree with it.

And that's that.

Have a good day or night or whatever.

#anti-boruto #narusaku #narusasu #relationships #shipping #naruto

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borea-liss · 3 years

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Chapter Two

⇨ Dragonborn!Todoroki x Tribe Chief Descendant!Reader

⇨ An AU in which Reader is apart of a tribe that lives to fight against a mythical group they call the Ice Dragons. One day, the Reader’s tribe fellows bring in a young man - an alleged Dragonborn, descended from their worst enemy. The young chief in line, whose heart is too compassionate to kill an innocent, convinces the raging tribe to keep him alive for research purposes, while they set out to free the captive, but the story turns out to be much more complicated than what they thought it would be...

⇨ Reader’s Quirk: Groundbreaker - the ability to bend and manipulate earth and rock in all of their varieties (think Earthbending). The Quirk’s drawback is incredible soreness and temporary muscle paralysis after prolonged usage.

Disclaimer: Characters are all aged up. The story doesn't follow the exact plot of the manga/anime, although it has some elements incorporated (ofc, it's fanfiction)

Taglist: @fukyouthink @midnighttflowers

Thank you for showing interest in my story!

Your pulse thumps inside your skull, drowning out the shouting of your tribe members. You were looking at a living, breathing descendant of your ultimate fascination.

"Kill him!"

"NO!" you shrieked, instinctively activating your Quirk to create a separation between the Dragonborn and the rest of the tribe.

His chains clattered as he tried to crawl away from the rising rocks, but if you were him, you'd choose that over a feral horde.

You had to think fast and effectively. The status of Chief in producing was going to buy you some time, for you believed your fellows would at least wait out the Council Members and their pupils' decision. You glanced around, looking for the faces of your fellows. To your relief, Midoriya and another representative Iida were already approaching you, with no signs of hostility towards the secured Dragonborn behind you. In the crowd, Yaoyorozu and Bakugou were trying to lessen the commotion.

"Deku, you were part of the hunting team," your voice was barely loud enough to be heard. "How and where did you find him??"

"It happened so fast, (Name). We were tracking down a few deer and ended up near a cave. We found him inside, and the entire cave was frozen." Izuku pointed somewhere behind himself. "Uraraka and I thought he needed help, but he tried to knock me out when we came closer. So she shackled him. What's with the whole ordeal of killing him??"

You couldn't avoid giving him a brief explanation of your discovery. It felt like you were a bad omen - it hadn't been over an hour since you told the tribe about the fruit your studies bore and a Dragonborn popped up in your village, in the flesh and bone. And scales.

The moment the thought circulated inside your head, the candle of realization lit up. Pushing past Izuku and Iida, you knocked yourself up on a platform.

"Attention, please!" the murmurs slowly died down, hundreds of eyes glancing up. "I know you are scared, and I do not condemn you for that. But please, be rational! The Dragonborn was found by accident and by himself. Although not many Ice Dragons have survived our fervent pursuit, I'm sure plenty of them have at least produced offsprings."

You stopped for a second, contemplating your next few sentences.

"I propose we keep him alive. We are an entire tribe, maybe the strongest of all known, and what strength do we hold if we cower under the threat of one single Dragonborn? We know little of them, and if they were to come to avenge their fallen parents, we'd be at a disadvantage until we come to know their nature. Let's keep this one as a source of information. I will personally conduct research and carry responsibility for the Dragonborn."

People nodded their heads in approval. Bakugou and Yaoyorozu stared at you as if you'd grown a third head, but you couldn't care less, relief blossoming in your chest. Midoriya placed his hand on your shoulder to offer comfort and you smiled weakly at the gesture.

You didn't allow yourself to rest for too long, immediately dissolving your makeshift platform and the wall separating your newest tribe addition and you. A pair of mismatched eyes glared up at you as you took ahold of his chains. Did he understand your speech at all?

Well, that was one of many things you were yet to find out. For now, you'd have to gather with the Tribe Chiefs and discuss the situation.

The uncomfortable silence was driving you crazy. As if having to watch over the Dragonborn while he bathed, then giving him clothing and cutting his hair wasn't awkward enough already. You couldn't blame him for looking like he despised you.

"Um, hey?"

Nothing was your answer. You cleared your throat and poured tea in two cups.

"Can you understand me?"

This time it was rustling of clothes and pulling his chains against the ground.

"Look, I'm sorry I put it out like that, but they were going to vote for killing you!" you couldn't keep the desperate tone down. "I know you probably hate me, but I just wanted to help and-"

"I can understand your speech, human."

You whirled around at the quiet, deep voice. He was staring right at your eyes, unflinching. "Remove these in an instant."

You shook your head, instead handing him one of the steaming cups, "I cannot do that. They're going to harm you if I do."

"They can try." your hand remained outstretched and he made no movement to approach your offering.

"Listen, I am not your enemy. But I'm not the one in charge here, so the decision about letting you go is not up to me. If not tea, would you like some food?"

"Don't act friendly. We're not friends," he spat through gritted teeth and you couldn't help but sigh.

Slamming down the teacup on the ground seemed to startle him. You deadpanned.

"Listen here, I know this situation is absolute shit for you, but kindly cooperate with me. At least I have good intents regarding your presence here," you chuckled. "What were you gonna do, fight the tribe? Our strongest men have pushed your ancestors ten lands away. Chief Yagi would've singlehandedly punched you into oblivion and Chief Todoroki would've deep-fried you had you attempted to use your ice powers on him. He's a walking campfire."

The Dragonborn seemed shocked that you knew about his ice powers. At least your short temper one-upped his hostility this time. You rose to your feet, ready to retire to your corner of the shared tent.

"But I have fire powers as well."

You weren't sure if you had heard him correctly. Now it was your turn to look shocked.

The rising sun found you at your desk, not having slept a bit.

"I don't know if that can be true," you muttered. "The sources say they have ice powers and fire is their weakness. Is he some abnormality?"

You should be documenting this. You should be reporting to your tribe leaders now. It's your duty to them and yet you hesitate. Would they kill him if you tell them?

A drop of ink splatters onto the parchment, shaking you out of the daze. You put away your quill and discard all the materials on the table. For now, just now, you decide to keep the Dragonborn's secret safe.

You can spot him in the corner of the tent, breathing steady as he sleeps. Maybe you should sleep too, even if for a bit, then grab some black tea from your tribe healer.

"Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do," you mutter under your breath and flop against the furs on your bed.

You're out like a light as soon as your head hits the pillow.

"(Name), daily report about the Dragonborn," five pairs of eyes were staring you down. "Go."

You inhale deeply and try to ignore the heart hammering against your ribcage.

"He understands our language completely and can speak it. Strong ice powers that barely sit within his body. The chains have been covered in frost for as long as I've been with him. He didn't try to fight or hurt me. He's harmless."

Your senior and fatherly figure, Aizawa Shota, nods his head at the words. You glance to the left, swallowing thickly as traitorous guilt burns inside your throat like bile.

"Very well, then. Do you have any requests or additional reports to make?" the head of the council, Chief Yagi, asks you with a kind smile stretched across his face.

"May I have some healing ointment?" you blurt out, startling the whole council.

"What for?"

"The chains are rubbing the scales on his wrists which causes them to fall out. It looks painful and leaves wounds."

"You seem to be quite sensible, (Name)," Chief Nemuri* remarks, smirking. "Very well. Come with me to the healer once we're done here."

You nod and bow before exiting the tent. The five tribe chiefs exchange looks between each other, then wordlessly get up and go back to their duties.

"Stop squirming, boy,"

The Dragonborn sneers at your words. "I am sure we're the same age."

You stare at him and sigh, "Okay, same-age-boy, stay still. The ointment is going to sting a lot, but at least your wrists won't hurt too much."

His right wrist is cold to the touch but his left one feels like he has a fever. For a second your fingers linger on the skin as you think. If he has Ice powers and a fire quirk, were they distributed on the opposing sides of his body? Before you could conclude, he shakes off your hands.

"Better now?" you ask while wiping your hands over your trousers.

Silence, but you'd guess he's good to go.

"Do you have a name?"

"A name?" he replies, mismatched eyes squinting.

You nod and he speaks again, "What do you need it for?"

"I'm tired of referring to you or calling you by 'Dragonborn', 'uhm', makeshift nicknames and 'oi'," you shudder. "The 'oi' makes me feel like Bakugou and that's weird."

Silence again, which makes you sigh. If he kept it up with the silent treatment, your cover of a devoted researcher will be blown before you figure out what to do with him. Maybe you should simply leave him alone, you think, and get up to move away.

"Shōto. That's my name." you smile weakly and tell him your own.

The conversation dies after and you're alone with your thoughts again. Shōto. It reminded you of someone you knew a long, long time ago. The beloved wife of Chief Todoroki, who passed away during a particularly hard winter. You're warm with loving memories of her and your mom knitting together while you told them new stories you had learned that day.

Then you freeze on the spot, terrified. The dead wife of you Tribe leader, a woman with snow-white hair and piercing gray eyes, specific physical traits your kind was incapable of possessing, at least not both at the same time. But now you could think of one that could, a half-offspring of theirs quietly eating right behind you.

Well, shit.

Word count: 1,034. I seem to like the number 1,030.

first few chapters will be shorter until I get the setting right. I hope you enjoyed.

- b

#todoroki shouto #todoroki x reader #shoto x reader #todoroki x you #todoroki x y/n #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki shoto #bnha imagines #bnha shoto todoroki #bnha shoto x reader #mha todoroki #bnha x reader #mha fic #todoroki shouto x reader #mha au #bnha au #boku no hero academia

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memesiders · 3 years

Text

Ghost AU Part 2 :)

(This was the last part I had saved so figured I'd post it :) Will be working on Part 3 soon!)

Hazel eyes stared back at Mel as she studied herself in the bathroom mirror, setting down the eye liner and studying her work. The dark circles under her eyes refused to go away, no matter how much high coverage concealer she packed on. Her normally rich olive skin was so pale she almost looked like a ghost herself. "You look miserable," she sighed to her reflection, smoothing some highlighter onto her cheekbones and up her temple. She reached into her makeup bag and pulled out a dark wine colored liquid lipstick, carefully running it over her lips. Not sure this helps make me look more alive, but oh well, she thought, looking over herself once she was finished. Another loud sigh left her lips and she pushed away from the counter, bundling her vibrant hair into a messy bun, shorter strands escaping the hair tie and framing her face.

The hairs on the back of her neck immediately stood on end, a primal emotion washing over her that made her heart beat faster.

"Fury," she said softly, eyes darting around the small room. Something pink flashed in her peripheral vision and she spun on her heels, grabbing onto the doorway to steady herself. "I... I'm sorry about last night. You didn't even do anything and I yelled at you. But..." She took a deep breath, her shoulders slumping.

"When you get like that around Lawson, I... You can't be like that around my baby brother." The phantom took form then, standing only a few inches away from the girl. Jaw clenched and arms crossed, the woman studied Mel.

"I know not to harm the brat; you know this by now," she replied, but her words fell on deaf ears. "You've made it more than clear he's completely off limits. Besides, I'd like to stay far away from that creature..." Fury uncrossed her arms, reaching out a tentative hand. Her fingers curled around a few of the bright loose stands, wrapping them around her finger before giving them a quick tug. "You're the worst creature of all." Mel smiled at this action and Fury couldn't help but give a small smirk.

She and the child had almost never gotten along, but the mortal had still managed to wiggle herself into Fury's small, cold heart; not that she'd ever admit it.

"Melinoe," her mother called. "Come eat, your bus is almost here!"

"Coming!" Mel shouted back, flipping the bathroom light off. "Alright, let's behave today, agreed?" Fury scoffed, stepping aside as the girl dashed down the hall.

"I'm always behaved, when it matters."

Mel hurried into the kitchen, throwing herself into the empty seat at the table that waited for her. She quickly tore into her breakfast, shoving a giant forkful of egg, cheese, and tomatoes into her mouth. "Easy, killer," her dad chuckled, looking up from the folder spread open in front of him. "Don't want you to choke."

"It's moms Huevos Rancheros; I literally cannot control myself," she shot back, following it up with another big bite from her breakfast. Her father laughed, reaching over and messing with her bun.

"Well try and show at least a little restraint, alright kiddo?"

"No promises!" They both chuckled and continued on with their morning, nearly oblivious to the beings that entered the room.

"Ooh, Huevos Rancheros," Strife groaned, staring at the dish longingly. "I can see it, I can smell it, but damn do I want to taste it; just once!"

"Maybe if we were corporeal," War grumbled. "I'd love to be able to feel my sword sink into the gnarled body of a demon just once more, feel my blade pierce its putrid heart." Strife looked at his brother, cocking his head slightly.

"Riiiiight... I mean, that sounds fun too." War sighed and reached out, grabbing one of the dining chairs. With a gentle tug the chair was sent flying across the kitchen, crashing into the wall. Mel's mother shrieked in surprise, a hand flying over her chest as she attempted to calm herself down. Mel choked on her food and quickly glanced from the broken chair to her mother and back again.

"It's an accident," she rushed out, her pulse jumping slightly. "It's War; he just doesn't know his own strength! I- I'll work on it with him-"

"You shouldn't have to work on anything!" her mom snapped, quickly clamping her lips together. The woman closed her eyes and took a deep, calming breath. Mel looked down at her half eaten plate of food, picking at the remaining eggs. "I'm sorry, sweetie." Her mother was calmer now, and had regained some of the color she'd lost. "You should probably get ready to meet the bus." Mel nodded quickly and pushed her plate away taking a last gulp of orange juice before standing.

"It wasn't her fault," War grumbled his hands balling into fists. "Why must they treat her this way?" The air in the room swirled, the kitchen cabinets fluttering open and closed. The adults in the room quickly looked at each other with wide eyes, fear palpable in them.

"War," Mel said, spinning on her heels. "Please, stop." The ghost seemed to ignore her, the rattling only getting worse.

"Brother, stop," Strife ordered, his usual cheerful tone now completely stripped of humor. "This won't help her."

"They've upset her!" War exclaimed, one of the cabinets slamming closed. Everyone jumped and Mel gulped, her heart beating faster.

"War, please, stop! We- We have to get to school!"

"You'll only further upset her if you don't cut it out," Strife warned. "Look at her; does she look okay with this?" War glanced over at his human, studying her. The worry etched on her face, her small frame trembling, the shine in her eyes as tears began to build; and just like that, all was calm in the home. War sagged forward, grimacing.

"Thank you," she breathed, a sense of relief washing over her.

"Go," her mother said suddenly. Mel looked at her mom.

"I'm so-"

"Please, just take your brother and go." Her mom turned away from her then, gripping the counter to keep steady. "Have a good day at school." Mel furiously blinked back tears, grabbing her brothers hand and leading him to the door. The two backpacks next to the door levitated off of the ground and Mel swiped them up quickly, noting the faint smell of gunpowder.

"Thanks, Strife." The siblings stepped out into the crisp autumn air, the cold biting into her nose and cheeks.

"Are you okay, Meli?" Lawson asked, looking up at her curiously. Mel dabbed at her eyes and forced a smile, nodding.

"Yeah, I'm fine! It's just my allergies acting up." She tried to sound as cheerful as possible but the look on her little brothers face told her that she wasn't doing a good job of it.

"Is mommy mad at you?"

"No, she's not. She just doesn't want us to miss the bus." As they reached the end of the gravel driveway, a loud engine roar shattered the silence, a large yellow school bus turning down their street. "See? We would've been late!" Law smiled and wrapped his little arms around her side, squeezing tightly. She smiled and smoothed down his messy hair.

She looked up and spotted a familiar black blob sitting on the power lines across the street. The crow had been around for as long as she could remember, seeming to follow wherever she went. She'd offered the bird a few shiny bits and baubles and though it seemed grateful for the gifts, it would never get to close or allow her to pet it.

Death sighed from beside the two humans, staring longingly at the crow across from them. "Dust, you fool. Why do you continue to stick around? There's nothing left for you here." The animal cawed loudly in reply, attempting to tell him off, and the reaper chuckled. He missed the bird, not that he'd ever admit it; missed stroking his midnight feathers, the feeling of his talons sinking into Death's shoulder when the creature was too tired to carry on flying or felt lazy, missed the occasional peck or two; he missed everything.

"That thing's still around," Fury asked, moving to stand next to him. "How long has it been now?"

"Fourteen years since he tracked us down."

"And he still hasn't left; you two must've been great friends." Death hummed in reply, his gaze torn from the bird as the school bus pulled up. The door hissed and opened, the children quickly climbing on. Fury groaned quietly, following the humans onto the bus. Her lip curled immediately as she studied the scene before her, her hands rising to rest on her hips. The children on the bus were loud, wild, and disgusting, nothing unusual; still, it never ceased to amaze her just how annoying human offspring were.

"Just five minutes with these brats and they'd reconsider raising their voices above a whisper," she grumbled.

"You'd also scar them for the rest of their lives," Strife chuckled, popping into the bus. War followed close behind, barely hopping on before the vehicle pulled forward, leaving the house behind them.

"At least they'd be behaved." One particular child shrieked just then and Fury snarled, grabbing one of the girls pigtails and yanking it hard. The girl nearly flew from her seat. "Shut up!"

"Fury," Death warned. The girl pulled herself back up, her eyes wide with fear. She clutched the pigtail to the side of her head and quickly looked around, searching for the culprit.

"What?"

"Can we not go one day without you harming an unsuspecting child?"

"Can I not go one day without the incessant prattling of prepubescent children?"

"Someone get this girl a Snickers," Strife muttered, jokingly elbowing War's side. Fury cut her gaze to him, reaching for her whip, when she remembered it wasn't there. It was with her body at... She frowned to herself; where was her body? She still couldn't remember. None of them remembered how or where they died. The only thing she could remember was waking up tethered to an infant. Her eyes drifted to the teenager in the back, oblivious to the ghost that was watching her. Sixteen long years with no knowledge of how she and her brothers had perished. It irked her every single day, and she would never be able to get answers; not while she was attached to Melinoe.

"Fury," War said cautiously, careful to not provoke his temperamental sister. Fury hissed softly, turning her attention back to her siblings. Without saying anything, she disappeared from view, leaving only a wisp of pink smoke in her wake. The others exchanged glances but said nothing; their sister would calm down eventually. Hopefully she wouldn't cause any harm before then.

#darksiders #ghost au #poltergeist au

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xadianjay · 4 years

Text

TDP Secret Santa Exchange

From: @tdphttydatlatlok

To:@cruria

This is my gift for you!

You said you loved both canon and headcanon, so I decided to write something about the time after the battle. And with Janaya. It also contains some stuff about what happened in Lux Aurea during the time skip.

But enough about that, just enjoy:

-----------

Sunfire and Night Rain

The battle was over, Rayla and Callum were talking, Ezran was playing hide and seek with Soren, Bait and Zym and Amaya talked to that other human with the red hair. Janai wondered if they were a thing? But then again, why did she want to hold her hand when the Dragon Queen woke up? Kazi came up from behind.

"You seem to really like the human general!", they said mockingly, knowing Janai would get furious. She immediately blushed and denied: "She was my prisoner! Now that we don't have to fight the humans anymore, we don't have to talk anymore!"

"But you will!", Kazi responded with a knowing look on their face.Then they walked away to talk to some of the other warriors. And left Janai confused and worried.

Kazi'd been right, she wanted to spend more time with the deaf general. Even though she hadn't admitted it yet, she secretly really liked her! Of course, being able to talk to her without having to learn a new language first would be easier, but even if she wasn't deaf, Janai would still have to overcome her boundaries, admit her feelings to Amaya. She'd never been that good at the whole feelings stuff, but then again, she'd never really needed it. As a warrior, you fight with honor and strength, but you don't show feelings to your enemy.

Confused and trying to overshadow her feelings,she went outside, hoping the fresh air could clear her mind. She found herself again at the place where they landed with her trusted twin-tailed inferno-tooth tiger. Amaya had gotten off the mount and welcomed her nephews back. Janai hadn't thought about her having a family a lot, but the sight of her hugging her nephews warmed her heart. The older one started to talk to her, but also to everyone else, speaking both normal and sign language, which made it more comfortable for Janai to listen. At least until they started talking about her. Amaya'd signed something to him after she'd told him that she thought of Amaya as her prisoner, not her friend.

And Janai had tried to understand.

They'd been in Lux Aurea for a few days to recover and then they went to the Storm Spire. And in this time, Janai had asked Kazi if she could teach her sign language, just the basics, so it would be easier for her to understand Amaya. They'd been surprised about her sudden interest on the topic, especially because Janai had never been the type to learn about language or really anything that wasn't fighting. That was probably the time when Kazi first picked up the vibe that Janai might care more about what would happen to Amaya that she admitted. But they didn't try to talk her out of it, Kazi loved teaching and was really good at it too. And they had no problem with love, however unusual and strange it might've seemed. And later, Janai'd even tried to talk to Amaya a little bit – partly without Kazi, Janai wouldn't want anyone to know what she said to Amaya. She hadn't talked to anyone about it, but she had the feeling Amaya would understand. It was about her sister. When she'd died, Amaya probably saved Janai's life by holding her back from going up the tower to...to what? Revenge her sister? Try to find out what happened? Attack for Lux Aurea? Or simply save her sister, even though she knew it was impossible? Back when it happened, that was more or less Janai's drive for going, the anger, the pain… Janai had always looked up to her sister, and even though they had different points of view on a lot of topics and took a different way in life, Janai had never felt closer or more understood by anyone else. And now she was gone. For the second time since she died, Janai started to cry.

She wrapped her arms around her legs and burrowed her face in her arms. She felt so alone, so weak… Her thoughts paused for a moment, a moment of silence, one of peace in her mind, then they drifted back to this place. Where she'd landed with Amaya. Where Amaya had signed to her nephew. It wasn't surprising that Janai had caught some of the words Amaya used during the quick exchange. She'd understood parts of what Amaya was saying too in Lux Aurea. And if she wasn't mistaken, she'd said something like – no! It wasn't possible! Janai's mind started to race as she thought about what else she could've said. There were so many possibilities! She tried to get her head on some other topic, for example how she'd rule over Lux Aurea now that her sister was gone. Or what the sunstone would be like, how to repair it if that was even possible and if it was not, what to do? All of these were rather important matters, but Janai couldn't focus on either of them. Her mind always slipped back to the thing Amaya'd signed… And the harder she tried to avoid thinking about it, the more she got stuck on it. She needed to know for sure! Janai went back inside, the air outside had done nothing but bring more confusion to her brain after all. Amaya was still leaning against the wall, talking, or better signing to the man. He signed back, there was nothing to hear except a laughter from the man every now and then. Callum was sitting on the other side of the room, alone this time. He was the only one who could tell her for sure except Amaya and he was the only one who was available at the moment. "Ahem, excuse me? Can I ask you something?", Janai asked him. He looked up to her.

"Of course!"

'What did Amaya say to you back then? You know, when we landed and I said she was my prisoner, not friend?"

"Oh...uhh, this is...kinda awkward, but..", Callum stuttered in response.

'Yeah, tell me about it!', Janai thought. She felt her body heating up.

'Please don't blush, please don't blush!', she begged herself.

"She kinda said..uh, that you...thought she was cute? But...haven't admitted it...yet?", he finally said, awkwardly rubbing his neck with one hand.

Janai's eyes widened. She'd been right. Her body ignored her wish, she felt her cheeks get red, praying that her golden markings and dark skin could somehow cover it up.

"Thank you", she muttered, turning around and walking, almost running outside again.

She sat down on the edge of the….. . Someone approached her from behind. It was Amaya.

She sat down next to her and looked into Janai's face, obviously worried about her.

'What's wrong?', she signed slowly, making sure Janai would be able to understand her.

"I think you were right. I do like you", Janai said quietly, turning towards Amaya so she'd be able to read from her lips. That also meant she had to directly look at her face. Her beautiful face, only harmed by that scar, going from just beneath the right eye over her right cheek. Somehow, the scar only made her even more beautiful. And showed how much fight she had in her. Amaya started smiling. It was only a thin smile, but it made Janai's heart race even faster than before.

'I like you too. You're a noble warrior. And a beautiful woman', Amaya signed, at least if Janai had interpreted the few words she didn't understand correctly. She blushed again. Amaya liked her!

Back in Lux Aurea, Kazi'd talked to her a lot. They'd been sitting in the ring of fire and talked for a long time and afterwards Kazi, who was very easy to talk to, knew a lot about Amaya's past. And they'd told Janai everything. That Amaya's older sister had also died. To save her husband and sister. To save ten thousand starving humans. Amaya'd been trying to comfort Janai after what happened to her sister Khessa, and even during it. That had been the reason for her to want to talk to Amaya in the first place. This act of selflessness, this look she gave Janai and told her to let go with, it spoke of understanding. Janai had assumed that Amaya was trying to help her because she knew what pain she was going through, but not more. She'd never thought Amaya might care about her. But then these other thoughts came to Janai's mind about Amaya… thoughts she hadn't even fully admitted to herself yet. But the truth was… she thought Amaya was beautiful. Yes, she was a human, but a good one! She had feelings, the same feelings Janai had. Khessa and her parents were the only people who taught Janai about humans. And everything they ever told her was that all humans were monsters. Dark mages. Heartless creatures who didn't bother to rip the life out of a helpless animal. But even the first time Janaid fought Amaya, she'd known that Amaya wasn't like that. She would never rip the life out of something. She was noble! And now she'd said she thought Janai was noble! And beautiful!

"Yeah, you too! And … I ...uh, you were right. I do think you're cute", Janai muttered, this time looking at the ground as if there was something very interesting down there to see. But she felt that Amaya had understood. She wanted to get up and walk away, she wasn't able to sit there anymore, she thought she was going to explode because of how awkward this situation was.

But Amaya grabbed her by the arm as she tried to walk away. Turned her around. Suddenly her face was so close at Janai's! Too close! Amaya looked at her with her soft eyes, again a smile emerged on her lips.

'I think that of you too. That's why I signed it to my nephew, because I hoped you would feel the same way about me', Amaya signed, looking into Janai's eyes the whole time, waiting for some reaction. Janai felt herself loosening up and started smiling too.

"Well, I do. Feel the same way about you."

The sun was about to set, it hung up in the sky, just barely divorcing their faces from each other. Until they got closer together.

Janai's brain stopped working as her lips touched Amaya's. It was a short, but deep kiss and it had a great meaning for both of them.

A few hours later Amaya told her nephew that Janai had to get back to Lux Aurea to rebuild the armee and help the fortress to recover.

And that Amaya would go with her.

-----

In addition to that, have some bad fanart bc I can't work with colours:

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brooke-the-poet · 5 years

Text

The Fantasy Adventure Trope and Autistics.

Currently I am fascinated with narrative framing. The structure of a story and how that gives us the meanings that we draw from it.

What I have noticed is that neurodivergent consciousness isn't taken into consideration very often. In fact many narratives, especially in children's literature and films have a gaslighting affect when it comes to the experiences of neurodivergent children.

Children who are different are portrayed as having an overactive imagination, big emotions or too reserved, shy, afraid, a little adult, low impulse control, not very social, bullied at school and are ignored by adults.

This jumble of traits pretty much fits most neurodivergents. But just enough so that they are endearing and don't seem "too weird".

Unfortunately many children are thought of in the same vein as the biblical prodigal son. Disabilities and difficulties are seen as trials to be fixed, or to fix "us" as if we need some form of chastising.

That our ways are wrong and we choose to bring difficulty on ourselves by not ignoring the things everyone else ignores and doing what everyone else does.

People expect neurodivergent children to be doormats and when they are shoved into that role they naturally become distressed and hide or rebel.

Such children then go on a magic adventure, where they learn about who they are as a person and then return home better off than when they left, able to cope and function better in their world.

That's a very general idea of the plots of most magic adventures. And there's nothing wrong with that, if indeed that is what is occurring.

But too often it is not. Most of these narratives portray the child as in need of a rude awakening, again with the prodigal image, spoiled, lack of discipline, bad attitude, needing to burn off energy, needing confidence, needing change over all.

And how this occurs is through what is known as exposure therapy. A theorized technique where non-biological anxiety is reduced through exposure to the source of the anxiety.

This does not work on neurodivergents nor many with trauma related conditions. It only serves to burn out energy and destroy our nervous systems and peace of mind if we had any to begin with.

The adventure supposedly leads the child to become used to physical stress, work and decision making. It assumes that the child has had no trauma or stress before this. That their difficulties came from being uncooperative with adults. What it comes down to is that it is the child that needs to change, not their world.

And what that means for the neurodivergent child whose experience of the world can not change through a change in attitude, is that they are made to feel flawed, that unlike the "good" children in those stories, they are bad.

Which leads them to hiding their difficulties and masking. And if they are autistic, the feeling of being nonhuman increases significantly.

*On a side note: Fantasy gives neurodivergent traits to majority non-human characters. I really do enjoy fantasy but the characters I related to most were the non-humans or the villain, and both.

There are a lot of non-human characters that should just have been human. When only "make believe" species have your sensitivity and traits, it makes it very hard for people to take you seriously. That's a whole other article though.*

Back to narrative:

Two examples come to mind. The German novel "The Neverending Story" by Michael Ende and and the Japanese film "Spirited Away" by Hayao Miyazaki.

These were big impact stories, I'm only going to cover 3 items from each.

Someone with more energy can dig in deeper. Also if the plots sound really similar to you, children going off into fantasy worlds and receiving help from dragons, it is because Michael Ende loved Japan and was inspired by Japanese folklore.

His second wife is Japanese and his stories became huge in Japan where he toured and gave lectures and was honoured with his own museum shortly before he passed away.

First, The Never Ending Story.

Yes, the story with Bastian, Atreyu, the child-like empress and my personal favourite, Falcor the luck dragon. Who doesn't love the ending of the film version where he scares the shit out of those bullies as he chases them into the dumpster?

There are a lot of very good things in this story, Bastian fits completely the profile of the neurodivergent child,but for those who have read the book there are some glaring details, and Yes, I know all the other interpretations and cultural symbolism going on.

But I'm looking at these from an autistic perspective, being as personal and literal as possible. Because that is how I viewed them and many others will, as a kid and teenager.

1. Despite Bastian's trauma from school and his mom's death it is up to him to fix his emotionally shut down father.

There's a new term for this, emotional incest. Google that. Emotionally Bastian has a lot going on,he and his father should really be seeing a therapist.

This topic can be controversial as it crosses into many cultural expectations of what a family is and the required roles within a family. There are various levels of toxicity that can occur in parent child relationships that result in anger later on in the child. But a parent relying on a child for emotional support is seen as the most benign.

One could say that is traditionally what children are for. From the outside pushing back at this role looks like "modern selfishness" but the inside reality is that the stress placed on a child who needs support and understanding themselves is damaging. When suppressing growth for a parent, the child does not learn to become an emotionally healthy adult.

For many neurodivergents this can look like carer abuse, infantalisation, a parent guilt tripping for all the work they do for the child. Expecting full loyalty to a parent with punishments imposed for perceived infractions.

Demanding all of a child's time. Not allowing friends, becoming jealous of online friends, hobbies, and anything that takes their attention away from the parent.

Given that as adults many disabled neurodivergents rely on their parents for support, these relationships remain complex and complicated.

2. Spending too much time in your inner world makes you less human.

For those not familiar with the second half of this book, for every wish and fantasy Bastian lives out he loses his memory and humanity. WTH?

As someone who has memory and dissociation issues this really freaked me out and made me question whether or not my dissociation, frequent need to retreat and loss of self at times was due to me being a bad, selfish person like the townspeople in the book.

Autistics and other neurodivergents have rich inner worlds that are just as real as what is going on outside them.

They are a part of this world as nature, and it is there that we often find and preserve our sense of self instead of getting lost in a sea of others.

Without them we would lose ourselves. Our humanity should never be equated with how much we outwardly participate.

3. Bastian wasn't capable of being loved before his journey.

When Bastian loses his humanity he nearly kills Atreyu but is stopped. He repents by working hard in a mountain, as a miner where he loses the last of himself, including his name in order to learn selfless love.

Hard stare. Really? Neurodivergents tend to be born selfless it seems, and we have really hard times creating boundaries for ourselves in how much we will give others and are much too open to manipulation because of it.

In my mind Bastian is already doing far too much emotional labour for a child to sustain and shouldn't be required to have to work on top of that for love to be given him.

More messages towards us about being selfless only harms us and makes us feel guilty for not draining ourselves dry for others.

Reiterating again, that Esoterica and symbolism, metaphors etc...are my special interest, I know what the esoteric symbolism of all this is but most children will not and Will take this aspect literally.

Overall none of his physical issues such as Body positivity, the school and bully situation nor any other issues were addressed. His real fear was part of his "overactive imagination" that he had to overcome.

This gaslights many neurological disabilities and experiences with the world, where synesthesia, sensory processing differences and executive Dysfunction are labelled imaginary and trauma around them is exasperated.

Spirited Away

This is the film that inspired this. Because I loved this. Miyazaki truly knows how to capture the soul of nature.

Some back story about anime you truly need to know before we move on.

If you're autistic, and fan of Anno Hideki creator of Evangelion, also a fellow autistic, who also worked with studio Ghibli, then you probably know what he means when he stated that anime and manga are an inherently autistic medium.

Paraphrasing Anno:

Your goal is to reach out and connect with others deeply and emotionally.

The main way this is achieved is having the emotional interior of people reversed, showing every emotion externally.

In anime all the huge feelings, trauma and anxiety that usually go on inside someone are shown on the outside. This makes it really relatable and easy to connect emotionally to the characters.

Big secret though, non-neurodivergents assume a lot of the emotions are exaggerated and the trials and stages the characters go through are metaphors.

If you are neurodivergent, you know they are not. Many things are literally what is happening to us on the inside, how certain things feel.

I'll give examples when I talk about Spirited Away, but if you are further curious, Google Newtypes from the Mobile Suit Gundam saga and Evangelion.

This unique feature and style, of emotions began in the Tokugawa Era as a form of non-violent rebellion against the imposed socially rigid caste system and militarism of the era that saw creativity as superfluous.

Anything different, mysterious, unknown, imaginative and emotional did not meet the new "social norms" of the shogunate era and were rejected.

Artists and writers, the creative castes, started making woodblock prints of fantasy scenes and stories in a style now known as manga.

They kept Non-linear, neurodivergent thought and ways of being alive during that violent time period when many creators were imprisoned.

Ok, with that on to Spirited Away. I'm going to focus on Autistic masking. Masking plays a huge role in this story.

Briefly, the plot is: 10 year old Chihiro, on the way to her new home is spirited away with her parents. Going against her instincts she follows them into what turns out to be the holiday and pleasure district of the gods.

Her parents eat the god's food, turn into pigs and Chihiro must then sell herself to the onsen ( bath house) in order to work off the debts of her parents and save them.

The main characters that I personally relate with in this piece are Haku, the dragon boy/river god, the Faceless Spirit/Noh Face and the witch Zeneba.

So again, 3 things.

1. Masking, Chihiro is The Mask.

Chihiro, the cool, collected,lovely mixture of innocence and maturity is the mask that many autistic women grew up wearing in order to handle trauma. Be strong, brave and stoic for the sake of others. This is one set of strong messages that the film puts out.

In the bridge scene where Haku and Chihiro, under an invisibility spell, cross the bridge to the bathhouse; in order to cross without being seen Chihiro must hold her breath.

That is what Autistic masking literally feels like, the fear of being seen, caught and punished for who we are and the sharp pain of inhaled breath held, for too long, and slow suffocation.

Chihiro's journey will feel familiar to many young autistics who are learning about themselves and the people around them and how they fit into the social structures here. Chihiro is a foreigner and awkwardly trying to stay out of trouble.

There isn't a structure that fits her. She's scolded and hindered for simply existing in that space not meant for her. But she has a task to complete, so she has to figure out a way to make things work.

Being survival, task and mission oriented is a strong point of being Autistic. It's part of our ability to be perseverant.

It can be so strong that your mind creates different ways of being to hide and protect the most sensitive parts of itself, to protect the parts that are different.

Chihiro's final line in the film is:

"Don't worry, I think I can handle it."

She's resolute in her maintaining a stoic mask, which is implied as part of growing up. This message is toxic to Autistics

For a lot of us Autistics this line recalls childhood trauma and masking. The exact phrase we would say to "make things work" for ourselves. Suppressing our needs in order to appear mature and keep our parents and those around us comfortable.

If the bathhouse is supposed to represent life and the social- economic reality, then it's the same reality so many face, forced to change and pretend they fit into society. This message about masking feels at odds with the "re-discovering your true self" message that we get with Haku.

The river dragon spirit, Haku literally represents what masking your true self can look like. Under Yubaba he loses sense of his true nature, physically grows pale and steely eyed. He isn't conscious of the spell Yubaba has placed in him. Masking isn't conscious to a lot of Autistics either.

As an apprentice Haku carries out orders no matter what the danger is to himself. Putting ourselves in harm's way and being abused without us knowing is an outcome of masking. When masking we are in the position of copying others feeling very much like "apprentice non-autistics".

We want to please in order to survive and feel adequate with others. In the scene when Haku is bleeding to death and Yubaba kicks him into the incinerator to be disposed of, that unfortunately is a real emotional outcome to many abusive relationships built through masking. Relationships fail once we burn out.

In order to show his true nature, Haku actively fights inside himself when helping Chihiro. He plays double agent throughout the film. And then has to be saved from himself by Chihiro.

Do I need to be saved from myself?

Do I seem as cold and distant as Haku?

Am I and my masking setting a bad example, a burden to seemingly purer people like Chihiro who haven't quite learned to mask yet?

These questions flitter and linger for a long time. There's a pang of sadness in them.

It's an extremely complicated issue which is further complicated when navigating personal boundaries and what is felt to be personally owed to others, it changes with each situation.

During the train scene when Chihiro is given time to process her predicament you can literally see her mentally forming her mask, the mask that's prepared to take responsibility for others mistakes.

It's the same mask we create to carry the burden of being social and appropriate when no one else is, the mask that self blames and takes up energy. Chihiro takes responsibility for everything.

There is again that message of sacrificing your well being for others that is pushed. She is the only one actively trying to save both her parents and Haku.

Being a heroine doesn't have to be about saving others, or being responsible for them, especially when they are capable of finding their own solutions. There are so many different ways to show love and support.

It isn't about being selfish and just taking care of yourself, for many Autistics and those with multiple disabilities, caring for others in this manner isn't an option but feeling guilty for not doing this is a constant to many.

Who this message is being directed to, needs to change. It should not be directed at vulnerable girls or any children who will worry and have anxiety about themselves.

The reality of many situations where change is needed from someone in authority, parent or any other institution is that it fails to occur. Children or other exploited parties are made responsible for that failure.

If an Autistic fails to fit in, it's never societies fault, the burden of change and guilt is always put on the autistic. And in order to shoulder it, masking occurs. How long is she going to be able to keep up that tough girl facade?

2. Home

In the opening of the film Chihiro is upset at what would honestly be devastating for someone who relies on "their world" to make sense of who they are. Moving, no home to return to. This concept literally is played out with Haku and Noh Face.

Haku's river is destroyed, because of this he loses his identity and falls prey to those who would enslave him. An identity that changes with physical environment is common. Some autistics, like myself, unconsciously build an identity or mask that fits specifically to our environment.

Environment becomes routine along with all of the sensory stimulus and sensitivity, our bodies physically bond to what is comfortable to us. And when that changes, so does a whole persona or personality mask.

When it is an unexpected and forced change, it is traumatizing. In my own experience, I've moved 10 times in a single year at the age of 14. Only 4 years older than Chihiro.

That caused a shutdown that I'm still experiencing the effects of 20 years later. Losing those connections is never a matter of letting go and moving on. They are grieved and must be processed at length.

On the way out of the forest Chihiro's father notices how quiet she is, both parents finally are paying attention to the emotional reality of their child. If they had listened and paid attention to her intuition, warnings and signs of trauma, in the beginning, their predicament would not have occurred. They might not have even moved in the first place.

"A new home and school, it is a bit scary," her father says. To which Chihiro replies that she can now handle it.

Chihiro, suppressing her original concern and the trauma of her experience, now gaslights herself, after she's gone through the process of learning how to perform emotional and mental labour for others through masking as an act of love.

An act of love, that's how mainstream society positions suppressing the needs of the disabled. You're told if you love your parents, your family, don't cause problems, don't cause trouble.

Oh, your having trouble at school, at work, at home? Disabilities are framed as trouble in this manner, the same way one speaks of a misdemeanor or crime. It subtlety shifts feelings of fault and blame onto the disabled. When it comes to Autistics the way we understand our self and our experience of the environment is often blamed as the cause of troubles.

For us the Non-autistic world is assaulting both physically and emotionally. It's a mess of social and psychological mind games and head traps that make us chronically ill. We have to create our own environments to dwell and recover in each night.

For a large proportion of us, we experience time and space Non-linearly. Which means events are not chronological, they don't neatly line up in our minds.

Our experience of the world is like the concepts of Ukiyo and Yugen. Transience, ethereal and profound depth of feeling. Events, people, places float in and out with moments of deep joy and sadness to help us make sense of time.

Miyazaki makes full use of this narrative tradition in his storytelling with vast spaces and characters who on the surface are only loosely associated with each other yet deeply connected.

In our world connection is not linear, nor emotions. Associative thinking leads us to make broad connections in ways that branch out and lead us to discoveries that seem impossible or were unknown to many because the right associations couldn't be made in their linear minds.

Non-linear emotions mean that we don't process events as they happen. It's too much to take in, emotions float in us, incubating until they are ready to be understood. The moment this happens is usually triggered by seemingly unconnected events but to which our minds have made connections to, enough to bring us to full circle. Different mental processing times mean reactions and effects come later, long after expected.

3. Noh face. Portraying other as grotesque.

The best for last.

Noh face as in the Noh theatre, because the mask they wear, delights and troubles in it's accurate yet disturbing qualities. The spirit does not speak except to make pleading utterances. The faceless spirit is sad, mysterious, interesting,terrifying and revolting all at once.

When it is invited into the bathhouse it begins to eat several of the workers and gains the ability to speak and their personality traits.

It is one of the most grotesque and extreme moments in the film. It can make you squirm. But it's also the most literal example of what it can be like to mask.

There is a certain type of masking that occurs for autistics who also experience dissociation, derealisation and depersonalisation.

It's the least understood and most vital to understand; this is how the brain involuntarily forces command or auto-pilot, for survival in situations it deems life threatening.

When around other people these autistics physically feel themselves absorb the energy, the personalities, emotions and desires of other people, so much so that it overwhelms their mind/ soul, their identity and sense of who they are.

They can lose track of where they are and what they say and do ; literally becoming "drunk" on other people, acting erratically or hyper with a loss of inhibition.

They may do and say things they wouldn't have before and never would alone, when caught in the energy of the crowd or moment. And often they can't quite remember what occurred until afterwards. It's an uncomfortable and frightening experience to not be in control, to feel like a slave to others wills .

With this type of masking the autistic may be aware of it or might not be, but they are not in control of when it happens or with who. It occurs on a daily basis this absorption of personas and others traits. It's chaotic inside, an ever changing kaleidoscope of thoughts and feelings that are almost never your own.

Physically, after socialising, especially if it's from a party, when this type of autistic is alone, people hangover sets in.

People hangovers, even though I don't drink that's the best definition I have of it, you feel ill enough that you vomit; as you would expect with all of this swirling chaos.

The only way to end it is to sleep it off as you psychologically purge all the fragments of others out. This is another physical sensation as you feel yourself emptying and regaining control. This process can feel like being scrubbed raw, internally.

This masking isn't done out of "loneliness" as is the reason given by the Noh Face. But having no one to understand and going through this alone, does build up and can increase the feelings of desperation to have a stable self.

In the scene when Chihiro gives the Noh face the expectorant, and they vomit just as Haku did, as all the people they consumed left, they returned to their original small form, no longer able to speak.

Chihiro, in that scene is the only one with boundaries, she masks her fear and listens, using her knowledge to give the Noh Face what they really need. She presents a kind, calm and stable force that counters chaos.

It's no wonder the Noh Face wants to absorb her. She's the ultimate mask that it can then have to feel whole and interact with others finally.

But it still would not be their own.

On a side note, it is for this very reason that Noh Face is finally paired with the witch Zaneba, whose line "hmmm, what else can we mess with?" is my favourite. Zaneba sees the structure of the bathhouse and wants to disrupt it.

Due to the chaos occurring inside these type of autistics, instead of trying to order life in a structured or "tidy" way, they impose chaos externally. As long as it is their chaos, this ordered chaos approach is effective in coping with life.

Roles, duties and tasks bring about more structure than superficial order as in the bathhouse. If there's a specific function and purpose that is clear, it makes it easier to not mask, which is why the noh face is able to remain calm.

At the end of the day Zaneba and Noh Face retreat to their quiet home, where function and roles are simple. Personally that's where I'd like to stay, if I were Chihiro I wouldn't have returned.

That's a final point, the "fantasy" world is always made out to be lesser than our shared reality. But is it really? Our inner worlds are what make it possible to survive in the outer world. It's where we process and draw strength to combat the hostility we encounter daily.

They aren't something you abandon in childhood, but a necessary life skill that develops further with age. The fantasy retreat is vital for rest and reclamation of self from society. Not something to be left behind.

So there you have it. My rough autistic sense on what messages an autistic/neurodivergent might take away from popular story narratives and elements in children's fiction and film.

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isopale · 5 years

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Here is my entry for @covered-byroses turning 1 writing challenge!

This is my first time writing anything for others to see, and it kinda got away from me... Had to cut it off where i did for now because it juat kept going and going and going..... And next thing i know wow.

Summary: You have a secret you've kept hidden all this time. Until something kills your husband and threatens to expose everything. Just so happens a couple hunters get more than the case they signed up for.

Pairing: none (yet 😘)

Warnings: character death (vaguely/generally discribed)

A quiet normal life was obviously too much to ask for. The past few years had been a lot of running around from place to place, ducking monsters and hunters. Was there nowhere that didn't have some kind of monster in it? How hard was it really?

The monsters never bothered you, they all seemed to know something was off and to stay away. You don't bother them, they don't bother you, simple as that. But some the hunters that came after them were different, these humans that have made it their duty to protect the clueless ones could be dangerous. Some of them have let the jobs get into their heads, and it's changed them. That's why you always left any town they came to, just to be safe.

Angels and demons on the other hand were absolute nightmares. You had spent more than your fair share with them and fighting them. If an angel was in a town, it was drop everything and run before they see you. Demon, leave before a hunter comes since most demons topside were too young go recognize you.

With all the constant moving, you were alone.

Until you met your (murdered) husband. He was a self proclaimed free spirit. Loved to move from place to place and rarely stayed anywhere for more than a few months. You had been hesitant but eventually warmed up to him and before long married, and fell in love. Since he just sooo happened to show up in the same places as you, he was a risk you wanted to take. He was your guilty pleasure, and his death was your fault.

He never knew what hit him. But obviously some demon went looking for the legend not even your dear old dad believed.

After your husband was murdered, you made it your obsession to find and kill it. Someone was talking and it wasn't going to end well.

You had been looking around and discovered that there was apparently a pack of wolves living in town. Small pack, looks to be exclusively family unit. Mother, father, and 2 girls (possibly nearing their 20s) and a teenage boy.

Of course… never a dull moment.

Not too surprising being in the middle of nowhere texas, but in the weeks you had been watching them they only fed on their livestock.

Which makes other murders in town very strange. What ever was responsible made sure to make it look like a werewolf attack.

…

Sam and Dean had been interviewing the investigators and witnesses all day for these “animal attacks”.

“Sounds like a werewolf Sammy,” Dean said opening a beer from the mini fridge.

“Yeah. Where is it hiding though?” Sam mused leaning back in the ratty bedside chair. “No one i touched was bothered by the silver ring today.”

“Good idea of Bobby's by the way. I might have to go check the local talent with it,” Dean said with a smirk lounging on one of the two small beds in the motel room.

“Dude,”

“oh Lighten up Sammy. I was gonna let you go first this time”

“Do whatever you want. I'm going to bed.” Sam rolled his eyes before moving to the other bed, that was a few inches too short for him “Remember we have to talk to the widows tomorrow so try not to have hooker glitter on you this time.”

“That only happened once.”

…

You didn't like to make a habit of being near hunters but you couldn't leave town now. It had only been a few months since you were married and less than a year since you and your husband had known each other. But that didn't make it hurt any less. It had been so long since you had had someone close to you.

You had visited the wolfs farm, this time to talk instead of spy, this morning before work at the small second hand clothes shop downtown. The Hensen's, you should probably remember their name. They were nice and accommodating once convinced you weren't there to harm them. Josh, the husband, wide and sturdy man was willing and ready to end any threat to his family. (Oh those hunters are going to have fun with this one) Amelia, the mother, tall woman towering over you although extremely soft spoken due to then she was turned her throat had very nearly been ripped out leaving a large angry scar. (You wondered if the big one of the two hunters was taller than her) The girls were twins, Anna and Marie, simple small town girls. And the son, Rich, solid country muscle farm boy.

They had been living there for years, long enough to build up that farm and to have the stock numbers to cover their feeding habits. They always sold or gave away what they didn't need. Most of the town thought they ran a home butcher shop and over the years that's what it turned into. But now with the murders and the hunters in town they were all on high alert.

Those hunters were going around town talking to the other 3 widows. Now you could see them through the store window across the street parking that vintage beauty. Both of them were way too sexy to be whatever government agents they were pretending to be. Sex with your husband (the few times it did happen) was great it was meaningful, but he would rather sleep under the stars or not leave the couch unless absolutely necessary to binge on something. But these two hunters made you think sinful thoughts.

Oh if only boys.

Putting on your customer service voice “Good afternoon gentleman. How can I help you?”

“We're federal agents in town working the recent animal attack cases,” the shorter of the two stated as they flash very nice but very fake FBI badges. “We were wondering if there was a (y/n y/l/n) here.”

“That would be me.” not even trying to remember the names on the ids, they wouldn't be real anyway. “Are you going to find out what happened to my husband?”

“Yes ma'am, we are very sorry for your loss,” now it's the taller ones turn “but we were hoping we could ask you a few questions?”

Giving them a sad smile before turning back to arrange new rack of clothes “Sure but i'm the only one here until closing at 6. You can ask here or wait until then.”

The tall one narrowed his eyes slightly. He seemed to want to say something else.

I don't even know what I'm not supposed to know. Normal people don't think werewolf right?

“How 'bout you meet us at the diner down the street when you get off? You can help us out over a quick bite,” he stepped around the small rolling rack of new clothes to make you look at him.

“Sure,” you try your best to hold back fake tears “I'll be there about 15 after.”

…

Too bad you didn't have time to creep on them before the diner, you have to admit they were nice to look at.

They're waiting in a booth in the back, both on one side with backs against the wall to watch everyone else. The tall one with long hair politely waves his hand when you enter. The shorter one has beautiful green eyes, he stands and helps you into the benchseat across from them. The had already ordered you a coffee and a glass of water.

“Thank you for coming Ms (y/l/n),” says the tall one

“How long were you and your husband living here before he was attacked?” Asks the green eyed hunter

“We only came here about a month ago. We didn't plan on staying, we wanted to travel around the country. You know live on the road,” You say not entirely lying “we just pick somewhere to go and get some small jobs around to hold us over for a bit.”

“Wait you don't live here?” Asked the tall one, he was trying to hide his suspicion with empathy.

Hunters…

“No, I'm still staying in the little motel,” you say “I was going to switch rooms but… i couldn't bring myself to…” you say fake holding back tears, you've shed all the tears you needed. Now you want the thing that killed him to suffer.

“We're sorry.” Says the tall one, his features soften and he gives you a look of genuine sympathy. “Why did you stay? Couldn't you have gone back home?”

“Neither of us have any family anywhere, we’re alone.” Now you hold back real tears, suddenly very interested in that coffee.

Taking a sip you realize why it was there before you were. Holy water. It stings some now when it usually doesn't, but you hold your composure. These two aren't playing around, they legitimately think you're the killer.

When green eyes shifts his hands on the table you notice why he helped you into the seat.

Holy water and silver rings, these two are a lot more interesting than i thought.

You sigh and decide to tell them what they want to know… sort of.

“I'm not the one who killed those people or my husband.” you whisper. They glance at each other and some unspoken thing goes between them but before they can feed you more BS you continue. “It wasn't a werewolf either. I know it looks bad but the bodies should have been more tore up, when has a wolf ever ripped out a heart without leaving any other marks?”

“Ma'am werewolves don't exist. We know traumatic experiences like this ca--” the long haired giant begins but green eyes stops him.

“Sam she knows.” He whispers to him “I guess we can cut the act for you then.” He directs to you this time. “What do you know?”

Mmm like to be incharge do ya not-sam.

“I'll tell you what I know but it's not much, and not here. I'm leaving in the morning,” You say “meet me at the butchers farm outside town in an hour.” You get up to leave not waiting for an answer.

…

After the 15 minute walk back to the motel you enter your room. You spare one last glance at the first bed and your heart clenches. You just need to pack the few clothes you have in your backpack and the essentials and be on your way to the farm. You plan on staying with the wolves until the hunters leave and your mind is too preoccupied with things to take and things to leave you didn't notice the rug was moved. Then you bumped the barrier reaching for the moon necklace your husband had given you. You had been so hurt and angry lately you hadn't been careful enough.

“Told you Sammy.” You heard from the doorway

You had not been pissed before but you were now. Hunters, always shoot first and ask questions after. Between angels, demons, and hunters you couldn't catch a break.

“Why'd you do it? Was he even your husband or just some poor sap that happened to be passing through town at the same time?” Sam asked accusingly

“It's not what you think” you say taking a breath to calm down and try and get out of the circle. But green eyes cuts you off.

“Why do you demons think you can just kill whenever you want and we won't find you,” he opens a small leather book “ now were going to save that poor girl you're wearin--”

“I LOVED HIM! LOOK AROUND YOU IDIOT!” So much for calm. You raise your hand and they both are flung against the headboards. You shut your eyes and take another breath.

You feel the darkness fading and with it the circles hold as you step over the barrier, careful to keep your hold on the men before you. You open your eyes to see them staring wide eyed and speechless. Their eyes locked on yours, you know they see the black they are used to but yours also have the familiar blue-white glow as well.

“What are you?” Sam breathes

Striding to the nightstand between the beds you slowly take your necklace before answering “I WILL find out who killed my husband, with or without your help. You have 20 minutes to be at the butchers now and I'll tell you what i know.” You say firmly making your way to the door making sure to walk through the circle again for them to see.

You spare one last look at them. “You know if i was into being on this end of things you two might be in trouble like that”

You release your hold on them as you slip out the door on the last word.

…

Something was different about the boy when you had ran into him that morning before the hunters came to the shop and you were hoping you were wrong.

Even if I'm right I can just fix him when I'm done.

You had been running since you left the motel, you're not going back to that little car you had since someone probably will recognize it again.

“(Y/N)!”

You skid to a stop in front of the Hensen's gate, trying to slow your breathing and heart rate after the 2 mile run.

“(Y/N)!” It must be one of the twins running up the drive yelling for you.

“Please. There's something wrong with Rich.”

Just then you hear the roar of the hunters car coming up the road.

“Get the rest of your family and hide. DO NOT come out until i come get you.” You grab her shoulders and make her look at you “Where is he?”

“He- he's in the barn. Mom is went after him, please don't let them hurt them.” She sobs

You shove her toward the house “GO!” Then tear off to the barn in the light of the hunters impala.

Just before you reach the barn a body is thrown through the doors, you manage to stop it in the air before it smashes into you. It's the mother, you lay her gently at your feet never touching her. It's been so long since you've used your powers it feels good to do it again.

“Don't you touch her!” The green eyed hunter yells gun drawn on you.

You hover your hand over the mother and let the healing white light do its job. Both men stand above you guns at the ready.when When you're done you snap your fingers and send her to her own bed far away from the hunters, still unsure if they will leave this family alone.

…

Dean and I argued the whole way to the farm about (y/n). He thinks it's some kind of demon trick that she got out of the devils trap, that she must have broke the circle before stepping in it. But i saw her run into it, it stopped her from reaching the nightstand when she reached out.

Then her still using her powers on us while trapped shouldn't be possible. And those eyes. Cas’ eyes only glow blue-white in the iris’, and no other angel has black around them. Whatever she is we've never seen anything like her.

'Into being on this end of things…’ more arousing than it should be coming from a possible demon.

Before we could act she snapped away the wife.

“You people are always shoot first and answers later.” She stood us to her full height, barely coming to the middle of my chest before swinging around to face Dean.

“MOVE” she shoves past my brother and i have to hide a laugh

“Wait! We don't know what's in there.” I try to stop her but she's already opening the doors before either of us can stop her.

“Ugh. Just stand still and I do everything. hunters…”

What must be the farmers son is standing in the middle of the loft above us cocky smile and black eyes.

"I didnt think you were real little one"

#writing #spn #spnfandom #spnfamily #firstfic #first time #first

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lindbergh-baby · 6 years

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TRUISMS (1978-1983) JENNY HOLZER

A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE CAN GO A LONG WAY A LOT OF PROFESSIONALS ARE CRACKPOTS A MAN CAN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE A MOTHER A NAME MEANS A LOT JUST BY ITSELF A POSITIVE ATTITUDE MEANS ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD A RELAXED MAN IS NOT NECESSARILY A BETTER MAN A SENSE OF TIMING IS THE MARK OF GENIUS A SINCERE EFFORT IS ALL YOU CAN ASK A SINGLE EVENT CAN HAVE INFINITELY MANY INTERPRETATIONS A SOLID HOME BASE BUILDS A SENSE OF SELF A STRONG SENSE OF DUTY IMPRISONS YOU ABSOLUTE SUBMISSION CAN BE A FORM OF FREEDOM ABSTRACTION IS A TYPE OF DECADENCE ABUSE OF POWER COMES AS NO SURPRISE ACTION CAUSES MORE TROUBLE THAN THOUGHT ALIENATION PRODUCES ECCENTRICS OR REVOLUTIONARIES ALL THINGS ARE DELICATELY INTERCONNECTED AMBITION IS JUST AS DANGEROUS AS COMPLACENCY AMBIVALENCE CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE AN ELITE IS INEVITABLE ANGER OR HATE CAN BE A USEFUL MOTIVATING FORCE ANIMALISM IS PERFECTLY HEALTHY ANY SURPLUS IS IMMORAL ANYTHING IS A LEGITIMATE AREA OF INVESTIGATION ARTIFICIAL DESIRES ARE DESPOILING THE EARTH AT TIMES INACTIVITY IS PREFERABLE TO MINDLESS FUNCTIONING AT TIMES YOUR UNCONSCIOUSNESS IS TRUER THAN YOUR CONSCIOUS MIND AUTOMATION IS DEADLY AWFUL PUNISHMENT AWAITS REALLY BAD PEOPLE BAD INTENTIONS CAN YIELD GOOD RESULTS BEING ALONE WITH YOURSELF IS INCREASINGLY UNPOPULAR BEING HAPPY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE BEING JUDGMENTAL IS A SIGN OF LIFE BEING SURE OF YOURSELF MEANS YOU'RE A FOOL BELIEVING IN REBIRTH IS THE SAME AS ADMITTING DEFEAT BOREDOM MAKES YOU DO CRAZY THINGS CALM IS MORE CONDUCTIVE TO CREATIVITY THAN IS ANXIETY CATEGORIZING FEAR IS CALMING CHANGE IS VALUABLE WHEN THE OPPRESSED BECOME TYRANTS CHASING THE NEW IS DANGEROUS TO SOCIETY CHILDREN ARE THE MOST CRUEL OF ALL CHILDREN ARE THE HOPE OF THE FUTURE CLASS ACTION IS A NICE IDEA WITH NO SUBSTANCE CLASS STRUCTURE IS AS ARTIFICIAL AS PLASTIC CONFUSING YOURSELF IS A WAY TO STAY HONEST CRIME AGAINST PROPERTY IS RELATIVELY UNIMPORTANT DECADENCE CAN BE AN END IN ITSELF DECENCY IS A RELATIVE THING DEPENDENCE CAN BE A MEAL TICKET DESCRIPTION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN METAPHOR DEVIANTS ARE SACRIFICED TO INCREASE GROUP SOLIDARITY DISGUST IS THE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO MOST SITUATIONS DISORGANIZATION IS A KIND OF ANESTHESIA DON'T PLACE TO MUCH TRUST IN EXPERTS DRAMA OFTEN OBSCURES THE REAL ISSUES DREAMING WHILE AWAKE IS A FRIGHTENING CONTRADICTION DYING AND COMING BACK GIVES YOU CONSIDERABLE PERSPECTIVE DYING SHOULD BE AS EASY AS FALLING OFF A LOG EATING TOO MUCH IS CRIMINAL ELABORATION IS A FORM OF POLLUTION EMOTIONAL RESPONSES AR AS VALUABLE AS INTELLECTUAL RESPONSES ENJOY YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU CAN'T CHANGE ANYTHING ANYWAY ENSURE THAT YOUR LIFE STAYS IN FLUX EVEN YOUR FAMILY CAN BETRAY YOU EVERY ACHIEVEMENT REQUIRES A SACRIFICE EVERYONE'S WORK IS EQUALLY IMPORTANT EVERYTHING THAT'S INTERESTING IS NEW EXCEPTIONAL PEOPLE DESERVE SPECIAL CONCESSIONS EXPIRING FOR LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL BUT STUPID EXPRESSING ANGER IS NECESSARY EXTREME BEHAVIOR HAS ITS BASIS IN PATHOLOGICAL PSYCHOLOGY EXTREME SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS LEADS TO PERVERSION FAITHFULNESS IS A SOCIAL NOT A BIOLOGICAL LAW FAKE OR REAL INDIFFERENCE IS A POWERFUL PERSONAL WEAPON FATHERS OFTEN USE TOO MUCH FORCE FEAR IS THE GREATEST INCAPACITATOR FREEDOM IS A LUXURY NOT A NECESSITY GIVING FREE REIN TO YOUR EMOTIONS IS AN HONEST WAY TO LIVE GO ALL OUT IN ROMANCE AND LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY GOING WITH THE FLOW IS SOOTHING BUT RISKY GOOD DEEDS EVENTUALLY ARE REWARDED GOVERNMENT IS A BURDEN ON THE PEOPLE GRASS ROOTS AGITATION IS THE ONLY HOPE GUILT AND SELF-LACERATION ARE INDULGENCES HABITUAL CONTEMPT DOESN'T REFLECT A FINER SENSIBILITY HIDING YOUR EMOTIONS IS DESPICABLE HOLDING BACK PROTECTS YOUR VITAL ENERGIES HUMANISM IS OBSOLETE HUMOR IS A RELEASE IDEALS ARE REPLACED BY CONVENTIONAL GOALS AT A CERTAIN AGE IF YOU AREN'T POLITICAL YOUR PERSONAL LIFE SHOULD BE EXEMPLARY IF YOU CAN'T LEAVE YOUR MARK GIVE UP IF YOU HAVE MANY DESIRES YOUR LIFE WILL BE INTERESTING IF YOU LIVE SIMPLY THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT IGNORING ENEMIES IS THE BEST WAY TO FIGHT ILLNESS IS A STATE OF MIND IMPOSING ORDER IS MAN'S VOCATION FOR CHAOS IS HELL IN SOME INSTANCES IT'S BETTER TO DIE THAN TO CONTINUE INHERITANCE MUST BE ABOLISHED IT CAN BE HELPFUL TO KEEP GOING NO MATTER WHAT IT IS HEROIC TO TRY TO STOP TIME IT IS MAN'S FATE TO OUTSMART HIMSELF IT IS A GIFT TO THE WORLD NOT TO HAVE BABIES IT'S BETTER TO BE A GOOD PERSON THAN A FAMOUS PERSON IT'S BETTER TO BE LONELY THAN TO BE WITH INFERIOR PEOPLE IT'S BETTER TO BE NAIVE THAN JADED IT'S BETTER TO STUDY THE LIVING FACT THAN TO ANALYZE HISTORY IT'S CRUCIAL TO HAVE AN ACTIVE FANTASY LIFE IT'S GOOD TO GIVE EXTRA MONEY TO CHARITY IT'S IMPORTANT TO STAY CLEAN ON ALL LEVELS IT'S JUST AN ACCIDENT THAT YOUR PARENTS ARE YOUR PARENTS IT'S NOT GOOD TO HOLD TOO MANY ABSOLUTES IT'S NOT GOOD TO OPERATE ON CREDIT IT'S VITAL TO LIVE IN HARMONY WITH NATURE JUST BELIEVING SOMETHING CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN KEEP SOMETHING IN RESERVE FOR EMERGENCIES KILLING IS UNAVOIDABLE BUT NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF KNOWING YOURSELF LETS YOU UNDERSTAND OTHERS KNOWLEDGE SHOULD BE ADVANCED AT ALL COSTS LABOR IS A LIFE-DESTROYING ACTIVITY LACK OF CHARISMA CAN BE FATAL LEISURE TIME IS A GIGANTIC SMOKE SCREEN LISTEN WHEN YOUR BODY TALKS LOOKING BACK IS THE FIRST SIGN OF AGING AND DECAY LOVING ANIMALS IS A SUBSTITUTE ACTIVITY LOW EXPECTATIONS ARE GOOD PROTECTION MANUAL LABOR CAN BE REFRESHING AND WHOLESOME MEN ARE NOT MONOGAMOUS BY NATURE MODERATION KILLS THE SPIRIT MONEY CREATES TASTE MONOMANIA IS A PREREQUISITE OF SUCCESS MORALS ARE FOR LITTLE PEOPLE MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT FIT TO RULE THEMSELVES MOSTLY YOU SHOULD MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS MOTHERS SHOULDN'T MAKE TOO MANY SACRIFICES MUCH WAS DECIDED BEFORE YOU WERE BORN MURDER HAS ITS SEXUAL SIDE MYTH CAN MAKE REALITY MORE INTELLIGIBLE NOISE CAN BE HOSTILE NOTHING UPSETS THE BALANCE OF GOOD AND EVIL OCCASIONALLY PRINCIPLES ARE MORE VALUABLE THAN PEOPLE OFFER VERY LITTLE INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF OFTEN YOU SHOULD ACT LIKE YOU ARE SEXLESS OLD FRIENDS ARE BETTER LEFT IN THE PAST OPACITY IS AN IRRESISTIBLE CHALLENGE PAIN CAN BE A VERY POSITIVE THING PEOPLE ARE BORING UNLESS THEY ARE EXTREMISTS PEOPLE ARE NUTS IF THEY THINK THEY ARE IMPORTANT PEOPLE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT THEY DO UNLESS THEY ARE INSANE PEOPLE WHO DON'T WORK WITH THEIR HANDS ARE PARASITES PEOPLE WHO GO CRAZY ARE TOO SENSITIVE PEOPLE WON'T BEHAVE IF THEY HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE PHYSICAL CULTURE IS SECOND BEST PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE IS ESCAPISM PLAYING IT SAFE CAN CAUSE A LOT OF DAMAGE IN THE LONG RUN POLITICS IS USED FOR PERSONAL GAIN POTENTIAL COUNTS FOR NOTHING UNTIL IT'S REALIZED PRIVATE PROPERTY CREATED CRIME PURSUING PLEASURE FOR THE SAKE OF PLEASURE WILL RUIN YOU PUSH YOURSELF TO THE LIMIT AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE RAISE BOYS AND GIRLS THE SAME WAY RANDOM MATING IS GOOD FOR DEBUNKING SEX MYTHS RECHANNELING DESTRUCTIVE IMPULSES IS A SIGN OF MATURITY RECLUSES ALWAYS GET WEAK REDISTRIBUTING WEALTH IS IMPERATIVE RELATIVITY IS NO BOON TO MANKIND RELIGION CAUSES AS MANY PROBLEMS AS IT SOLVES REMEMBER YOU ALWAYS HAVE FREEDOM OF CHOICE REPETITION IS THE BEST WAY TO LEARN RESOLUTIONS SERVE TO EASE OUR CONSCIENCE REVOLUTION BEGINS WITH CHANGES IN THE INDIVIDUAL ROMANTIC LOVE WAS INVENTED TO MANIPULATE WOMEN ROUTINE IS A LINK WITH THE PAST ROUTINE SMALL EXCESSES ARE WORSE THAN THEN THE OCCASIONAL DEBAUCH SACRIFICING YOURSELF FOR A BAD CAUSE IS NOT A MORAL ACT SALVATION CAN'T BE BOUGHT AND SOLD SELF-AWARENESS CAN BE CRIPPLING SELF-CONTEMPT CAN DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD SELFISHNESS IS THE MOST BASIC MOTIVATION SELFLESSNESS IS THE HIGHEST ACHIEVEMENT SEPARATISM IS THE WAY TO A NEW BEGINNING SEX DIFFERENCES ARE HERE TO STAY SIN IS A MEANS OF SOCIAL CONTROL SLIPPING INTO MADNESS IS GOOD FOR THE SAKE OF COMPARISON SLOPPY THINKING GETS WORSE OVER TIME SOLITUDE IS ENRICHING SOMETIMES SCIENCE ADVANCES FASTER THAN IT SHOULD SOMETIMES THINGS SEEM TO HAPPEN OF THEIR OWN ACCORD SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME ON SELF-IMPROVEMENT IS ANTISOCIAL STARVATION IS NATURE'S WAY STASIS IS A DREAM STATE STERILIZATION IS A WEAPON OF THE RULERS STRONG EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT STEMS FROM BASIC INSECURITY STUPID PEOPLE SHOULDN'T BREED SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST APPLIES TO MEN AND ANIMALS SYMBOLS ARE MORE MEANINGFUL THAN THINGS THEMSELVES TAKING A STRONG STAND PUBLICIZES THE OPPOSITE POSITION TALKING IS USED TO HIDE ONE'S INABILITY TO ACT TEASING PEOPLE SEXUALLY CAN HAVE UGLY CONSEQUENCES TECHNOLOGY WILL MAKE OR BREAK US THE CRUELEST DISAPPOINTMENT IS WHEN YOU LET YOURSELF DOWN THE DESIRE TO REPRODUCE IS A DEATH WISH THE FAMILY IS LIVING ON BORROWED TIME THE IDEA OF REVOLUTION IS AN ADOLESCENT FANTASY THE IDEA OF TRANSCENDENCE IS USED TO OBSCURE OPPRESSION THE IDIOSYNCRATIC HAS LOST ITS AUTHORITY THE MOST PROFOUND THINGS ARE INEXPRESSIBLE THE MUNDANE IS TO BE CHERISHED THE NEW IS NOTHING BUT A RESTATEMENT OF THE OLD THE ONLY WAY TO BE PURE IS TO STAY BY YOURSELF THE SUM OF YOUR ACTIONS DETERMINES WHAT YOU ARE THE UNATTAINABLE IS INVARIABLE ATTRACTIVE THE WORLD OPERATES ACCORDING TO DISCOVERABLE LAWS THERE ARE TOO FEW IMMUTABLE TRUTHS TODAY THERE'S NOTHING EXCEPT WHAT YOU SENSE THERE'S NOTHING REDEEMING IN TOIL THINKING TOO MUCH CAN ONLY CAUSE PROBLEMS THREATENING SOMEONE SEXUALLY IS A HORRIBLE ACT TIMIDITY IS LAUGHABLE TO DISAGREE PRESUPPOSES MORAL INTEGRITY TO VOLUNTEER IS REACTIONARY TORTURE IS BARBARIC TRADING A LIFE FOR A LIFE IS FAIR ENOUGH TRUE FREEDOM IS FRIGHTFUL UNIQUE THINGS MUST BE THE MOST VALUABLE UNQUESTIONING LOVE DEMONSTRATES LARGESSE OF SPIRIT USING FORCE TO STOP FORCE IS ABSURD VIOLENCE IS PERMISSIBLE EVEN DESIRABLE OCCASIONALLY WAR IS A PURIFICATION RITE WE MUST MAKE SACRIFICES TO MAINTAIN OUR QUALITY OF LIFE WHEN SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS PEOPLE WAKE UP WISHING THINGS AWAY IS NOT EFFECTIVE WITH PERSEVERANCE YOU CAN DISCOVER ANY TRUTH WORDS TEND TO BE INADEQUATE WORRYING CAN HELP YOU PREPARE YOU ARE A VICTIM OF THE RULES YOU LIVE BY YOU ARE GUILELESS IN YOUR DREAMS YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR CONSTITUTING THE MEANING OF THINGS YOU ARE THE PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE YOU CAN LIVE ON THROUGH YOUR DESCENDANTS YOU CAN'T EXPECT PEOPLE TO BE SOMETHING THEY'RE NOT YOU CAN'T FOOL OTHERS IF YOU'RE FOOLING YOURSELF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WHAT UNTIL YOU SUPPORT YOURSELF YOU HAVE TO HURT OTHERS TO BE EXTRAORDINARY YOU MUST BE INTIMATE WITH A TOKEN FEW YOU MUST DISAGREE WITH AUTHORITY FIGURES YOU MUST HAVE ONE GRAND PASSION YOU MUST KNOW WHERE YOU STOP AND THE WORLD BEGINS YOU CAN UNDERSTAND SOMEONE OF YOUR SEX ONLY YOU OWE THE WORLD NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND YOU SHOULD STUDY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE YOUR ACTIONS AE POINTLESS IF NO ONE NOTICES YOUR OLDEST FEARS ARE THE WORST ONES

#jenny holzer #truisms #poetry #art

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blondrichclosetwitch · 3 years

Text

“This would never happen on the west coast.”

a year ago tomorrow, i got inspired. it was my birthday, and i heard as clear as a whip, that i needed hallucinogenics. i don't think i had taken them in 3 years. i called someone reliable to have good drugs, someone who had been throwing quality in my mouth since 2012. as a matter of fact jakk, the night we were supposed to go to animal collective and you bailed, i walked into this person's living room loudly declared i needed to get high as fuck, and always the perfect host, he put a hand in the air with a gesture from out of time and declared "I have just the thing!"

and he did. both times.

on that trip last year, which was revelatory to say the least, someone who seemed to be heavenly and male spoke to me and told me i needed to quit drugs (ironic, right) and that i was to quit social media basically, and work on putting everything on tumblr, where i knew no one. so happy anniversary, blondrichclosetwitch. you're a year old.

it's been fun. terrifying sometimes. hey jakk, you're not dead! cool.

in that conversation with that god-like, non-human being, i sighed a lot, and agreed to stop smoking weed and all the stuff that was way more harmful, with the caveat that i would be allowed hallucinogenics for holidays and weed for migraines if i couldn't stop regurgitating.

i'm kinda off track here. but i want to bring this around to graffiti. there had been a fair amount of grafiti created for me since 2018, which is a weird way to fuck with someone, am i right? put up stuff that is some sort of code to make someone feel hunted.

i'm super curious about this tagger you hired. *surely* he has better things to do than act cool, and put his mark everywhere that i might walk. does he even know the true story? i am pretty sure if he knew what he was being paid for....oh, he knows?

well.

let's talk about women for a minute.

i have had many different groups of girl friends in my life. i was thinking about this today as i passed what your tagger fuckbuddy put up for me to reflect upon. i thought about how i've known many women, but i've never known anyone to show jealousy or vindictiveness in trying to take an unsuspecting person down. And I was definitely unsuspecting.

sure i've had women flirt with my boyfriend, and I’ve hated it, or put their nose in the air, but i've never even heard of trying to take someone down using money, malice, cyberstalking, graffiti, etc. (was all this for some book you were going to write about the great take down? Oh...sorry my first play was so mediocre. But sometimes June doesn’t get written as an honorable person.)

I know we had different lives. I didn’t grow up in Cabrini green but close. and therefore my young life was a lot of therapy and shamanic priestess circles, and walks in the mountains, and attempting to live a burning man mentality....which doesn’t mean I hate sarcasm, but more so that as Jakk Once said, I just wouldn’t like your friends because I don’t do well with caustic hipster mentality. When I tell my seattle friends they just say, this would never happen on the west coast.

This is an honest question:

when you got mad at a friend when you were little, what happened?

so let's address what was left for me.

"the eyes are useless when the mind is blind."

blind minds.

I could say a lot of cutting things, but i think some people keep up facades as long as they can, but if the people around that person are interested in truth, those blind minds will start to examine all sides. But

Most importantly, they’ll be able to feel

In their bodies what is true.

#hunter #one year sober

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blackwoolncrown · 7 years

Note

I don't want to start a fight it's a serious question, because I'm still making up my mind: why do you think veganism and the goal of not harming other lives is a futile attempt? I have the feeling you're trying to make the better place yourself and educate others on racism. I don't know if I can forsake meat, cheese or leather but after what I've learned about the abuse and cruelty that happens on farms all over the world, it's my duty as a compassionate person to at least try. (one)

“(two) I mean, it can be difficult for different reasons but have you seen videos where dogs are skinned alive or pigs are burned alive? It’s disgusting. And it don’t has to be that gruesome. I mean, do you just shrug this off? Isn’t it at least our responsibility to minimise pain on animals(or othern people as well)instead of just saying “well yeah, this would be nice but what can you do”? Shit, I don’t know what to do with all this information.”

Yes, is futile. As I said before, if you are going vegan specifically and expressly to separate yourself from harming other living creatures you will not and can not succeed. The only way to do that is to not eat, not buy, not provide for yourself. The end.You can certainly lessen your impact, and that is a nice cause.You can certainly refuse to support mainstream factory farming, and that is a reasonable thing you can actually do.You can certainly refuse to stop consuming things that, for instance, have brains and hearts.But you cannot achieve a life that does not cause death. It is not possible. You should not strive to is my point.What you need to understand is that humans kill all the time, they have to. Humans are animals and every animal kills. So stop thinking that any destruction of life is evil and also stop thinking that the behavior is an outlier.You also need to understand that white capitalist-pushed industrial farming is its own demon. The violence necessary to push through such ridiculous amounts of meat at a low cost is not one and the same with for instance the quick cut needed to end a cow or chicken for a farming family’s meal.And it’s not fair to lump the two kinds together. It’s just not.Now on the other hand, here’s something I bring up to those open to the discussion: how many animals had to die for you to eat today? Some sausage in the morning, chicken wings for lunch, steak for dinner….that’s a good 5+ animals just to get one human through the day. Is that deserved? Reasonable? Justified? I’m not going to answer that for anyone but I know how I feel about it. It takes a lot more time, energy and resources to grow an entire animal just for it to end up as yet another redundant meal than it does for someone to start supplementing their diet with more potatoes,grains, mushrooms, etc (I don’t use vegan meats as a go-to for reasons lol).Anyway my point is this: if you want to lessen your impact on the world, you can feasibly do that. If you want to not involve yourself with industrialized animal murder, you can feasibly do that. If you want to eat no animal products or byproducts bc it just seems wrong to you, you can feasibly do that. If you don’t think meat is healthy and want to avoid it, you’re demonstrably right and you can feasibly do that.But what you can not do is live a life where you can say that you are cruelty free. You can’t. You cannot live a life where you are factually better and kinder than other people because you alone are untainted by the sin of killing or causing the suffering of another living being. It’s not true and will not in your lifetime ever be. Beyond that, it’s not logical. The west has very strange and complicated stances on death and decay and it would help if we remembered that life and death are inextricably bound together.I’m not saying don’t try. I’m saying inspect your goals.Now, to be more functional here: try telling yourself to only eat meat every otehr day, and cut down on cheese and dairy. It’s possible that after a while, especially with things like milk and cheese, you’ll lose your taste for them to a point where at least you’ll want to consume less of them. You’ll get used to not having meat for every meal or every dinner, and you can stretch these meatless periods out more and more depending on your goal. I currently tend to eat meat only 3 days a week, more if there were leftovers, and cook at home. Soon I’m going to go meatless for 1 then 2 weeks and hopefully later a month. It’s not a question of resisting the taste at this point so much as the nearly inescapable convenience of meat. I personally don’t want to stop being able to digest it for adaptability reasons but I don’t think meat is something that should comprise a huge part of one’s diet. But of course that’s my opinion and this end part is just to give you some food for thought. What works for me might not work for you.

#Anonymous

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youwereroleplayingitsannoying · 7 years

Conversation

I'm a sucker for some vamp!lock... Pun intended!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like Johnlock.

Stranger: [vampire/unilock; John and Sherlock used to be good friends for a while in secondary school; there's been a lot of rumours going around about Sherlock is practising Satanism and drinking blood and killing animals and stuff like that; Mycroft who's a vampire as well decided it would be best to fake his dead to put an end to it and not risk that their secret would be unconvered, he made up a story about Sherlock having had a car accident and told the school he was being in a coma, asking everyone to refrain from visiting and after a month announced that Sherlock had died; it's set two years after that; John spotted Sherlock (who's calling himself William Scott now) at his university and keeps trying to prove that it's Sherlock]

Did you seriously try to lure the secretary into giving you my file? Stop spying on me. For god's sake! WS

You: [Reading, bear with]

You: No, you don't get to turn this back on me. Do you think I'm an idiot? JW

Stranger: I don't know anything about you! I just know that you tried to charm the secretary to get my fail. You might be charming, but I have her loyality. She's sort of a distant relative. WS

Stranger: *file

You: You know everything about me, and I know enough about you to know that this isn't you. How far do I have to go to get you to stop fucking hiding from the real world? JW

Stranger: I'm not hiding. WS

You: You're hiding. People started spreading rumours, the atmosphere got bad. I understand that. I was there, I saw you, I saw what it did to you when they spoke about you like that. I believed him, for a while. Mycroft, I mean. I really thought you were dead. I thought they'd bullied you to an early grave, do you know that? I thought you got so depressed from being so sorely bullied that you just went and offed yourself, and there was nothing I could do to save you. Did you know that? JW

Stranger: The official explanation was a car accident, not a suicide. WS

Stranger: I mean.. that's what I've heard. WS

You: Please, everyone assumed the worst, no matter how they might have spun it. JW

You: I deserve at least the truth, Sherlock Holmes. At least. JW

Stranger: (delayed) You should know that I wouldn't just "off myself". SH

You: How could I know? You were a mystery to me. We hung out, sure. You showed me some incredible things. But you didn't show me any of yourself. JW

You: I'm sorry that I didn't see how bad things had gotten. I should have helped sooner. JW

Stranger: Oh Christ. It had nothing to do with you or the rumours. At least not in a way that it affected my mood or anything. SH

You: I don't understand. What else could it have been? JW

Stranger: Precautions. SH

You: Precautions... For what? Did they get physical with you? JW

Stranger: No. But they did get too close to the truth. SH

You: What truth? Did you do something? JW

Stranger: You remember the things they said about me drinking blood? SH

You: Of course I do. Nonsense stuff, though, just because you're a bit pale and your hair is dark. Teenagers being shitty teenagers. JW

Stranger: Teenagers being on the right track there. SH

You: Are you talking about those weird experiments you'd do? Because I never told anybody about those, I swear. JW

You: I thought they were interesting. I liked seeing them. JW

Stranger: It's not about my experiments. I am drinking blood. SH

You: Let's humour this for a moment: Why? JW

Stranger: I'm a vampire. SH

You: Oh my God... What's happened to you, Sherlock? Did they really drive you so crazy? JW

You: I'm so sorry. I should have looked harder. JW

Stranger: And this is why I didn't tell you about me faking my death. SH

You: Because you knew I'd want to get you some professional help? It's called being a friend. I'm still here. I still want to be that. Please let me be that for you. JW

Stranger: No because I knew you wouldn't believe me. John, I didn't start to think I'm a vampire somewhere along the way. I already was. And this is certainly not the first time I've faked my death either. SH

You: Sherlock, you have to understand how this sounds. Please, I know it must be hard talking to a person from such a difficult time, but I want to help. You're not a vampire. JW

Stranger: Fine, explain to me then how I'm still alive, when I was born in 1812. Explain to me why I live of blood. SH

You: This is... Delusion, Sherlock. You don't need blood. Luckily, it's not the kind of thing to hurt if you drink it, but you need other food as well. JW

Stranger: It is something that is harmful to humans, John. Human blood contains too much iron for a human metabolism. It's poisonous in large amounts, despite that humans can't digest blood either. In larger amounts than just a few drops from a cut or something, the stomach revolts and you throw up. SH

You: You're definitely Sherlock. I'm going to fail all of my exams this term. JW

Stranger: Perhaps you should have paid more attention to your studies than trying to prove I'm alive, just to claim that I'm insane. SH

You: Not insane. Deluded. There's a very fine difference in that one comes with no control and no respect for those other than yourself, and the other just means you've been misled somewhere along the way. JW

Stranger: I was not bloody mislead! Nor delusional. You are just being a bad friend for not even trying to believe me. SH

You: You left me. JW

You: I needed you and you left me. JW

Stranger: For good reason as we see now. SH

You: Fuck you. You don't have a high horse to climb onto right now. Get over here and fucking prove it to me if you want it to be real so badly. Stop insulting me and tell me why I shouldn't be insulting you after what you did. JW

Stranger: Fine. You want proof? I've got a gun over here. Shoot me. If that wound doesn't instantly close and heal up within a couple of days, you can still consider me nuts. SH

You: I'm not going to shoot you, Sherlock. JW

Stranger: How else am I supposed to prove it to you then? SH

You: I dunno. Show me your teeth. Burn in the sun. Turn into a fucking bat, I dare you. JW

Stranger: If I show you my original birth certificate you'll think it's faked, if I'll show you old photographs you'll say they're manipulated. I have the feeling I have to be drastic here. SH

Stranger: I can't turn into a bat! This isn't a low budget movie! SH

You: Oh, sure, you being a vampire is completely sane, but turning into a bat is too far. JW

Stranger: Yes it is. Bit insulting too, it's like calling humans monkeys just because they share some of the same traits. SH

You: Find me proof from someone that isn't you, then. Show me a friend. Find me someone else you can't have faked. JW

Stranger: I also don't burn in the sun. That myth developed because most of us used to go out at night to feed because it would look a bit odd to go out in the middle of the day and bite someone. SH

Stranger: What do you mean find someone else? SH

You: Get me an opinion that wouldn't lie to me. JW

Stranger: Mycroft. SH

Stranger: No, hang on. Lying is basically his job description. SH

You: Give me a photo and a birth certificate and leave them with me for a day. JW

Stranger: How about Ms Lucas? You know that secretary you tried to charm? SH

You: Why are you so intensely set on this? Why can't you just admit to me that you're too embarrassed to tell the truth? JW

Stranger: I don't have photos from before the mid 1800's. But I have portraits, one's actually painted by my mother. And if you're going to take it anywhere, I'll come with you. SH

You: You're not going to come with me, because then you're going to manipulate the source I go to that will judge the authenticity of the date. JW

Stranger: Then you are not having it. SH

Stranger: Out of the question. No way, José. SH

You: You can come with me and wait outside. JW

Stranger: Most of my belongings are antique singletons, John. I'm not going to let some idiot calling himself an expert close to them unless I'm supervising. SH

You: Then bite me. JW

Stranger: What? SH

You: I mean it. Bite me, Sherlock. JW

Stranger: You don't even know what you're talking about. SH

You: I definitely do, and I'm ready. Hit me. Show me who you are and bite me. JW

Stranger: No you don't. You'll get high. SH

You: High? JW

Stranger: It's my saliva. It works like a drug. It's not unhealthy or anything. You just... Well, it's a bit like getting drunk, just with a shot of endorphins. SH

You: Then there's no danger in proving yourself to me. JW

Stranger: I haven't done that in ages... SH

Stranger: Quite literally. SH

You: And here's a willing volunteer, waiting right here for you. How lucky. JW

Stranger: Oh god you're really starting to annoy me. Fine. Come over then. Do you need my address or did you find that out while stalking me? SH

You: Give the address to me, if it'll make you less of a bitch about it. JW

Stranger: 221B Baker Street. SH

You: Of course you can afford to live in Central. Typical. JW

You: [If you want to move into para, would you mind starting? At least just give me a couple of details of any notable way he looks/how the flat is laid out etc]

Stranger: ((oh no, I can start it's fine.. oh and I was thinking except for the fact that he doesn't age, he doesn't look any different than normal, no hard skin, he does have a heartbeat .. I'm just tired of all the vampire cliches xD))

You: [That's okay :D I like everything so far, it's great

#vamplock #teenlock #johnlock #I'm so sorry I didn't realise how much this would spam

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