#stretched in ways I do not expect
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I WOULD retexture objects again, but I just really hate everything thing about the process of doing it
#SimPE being just ugly#can’t see what I’m looking at not like I want#napping is almost always horrible#don’t even get me started on maxis objects#mapped like actual DICK and ASS#stretched in ways I do not expect#PLEASE can I have a bodyshop for objects#even GUIDS and renaming packages and all that simPE fussing#such a PROCESS I can’t believe it endured it for as long as I did#clothing and hairs are a lot more satisfying rn#AND AGAIN ILL COMPLAIN ABOUT MAXIS MAPPING#I’d really love to do some wood textures on stuff but object retexturing annoys me from start to finish#end rant#cc making discussions
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sorry i havent been posting i think im burnt out rn
#ill come back around#this is a cycle i go thru often#it doesnt help that ive kinda#i guess ive just kind of grown bored of utmv?#like ok u know when your hyperfixation kinda moves to the backburner#its not GONE its just kind of going dormant#ive been thinking abt moving to a sideblog for a fresh start#because i know 99% of the people following me are doing so for my utmv art#and i kinda feel bad about. yk. not delivering lmao#and i dont think ill be delivering for a while#like. idk i just feel like i need a break from utmv. refresh my palette and all that#so. yeah i guess this is my way of saying there probably wont be much sans art for a while#sorry#skeledoodles#fallout#fo4#fo4 brainrot#fallout 4#fo4 john hancock#idk what else to tag this#i think my burnout will be less bad when i feel less pressured to draw utmv stuff#my brain needs to get up and stretch ok#i told myself from the beginning of this blog that i would create what i WANT and not whats expected of me#but ive found that it is definitely. very easy to fall into this trap lol#but i will try to create more of what i actually want to draw because thats like healthy n stuff idk
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#that first gif... he is deadly#james spader#alan shore#boston legal#*#favorite#there's a full-length shot in this scene where you can see his belly. stretching the fabric of his shirt just above his waistband. ougghhh#trying to focus on how sexy this is but this episode was so. soft and suffering alan#once again everyone expects the worse from him. they ASK it of him for their own benefit#and he doesn't disappoint. he is the worst and he loses his temper and finds himself on the ledge again#when he storms out of denny's office so mad he can't even look at him. went home alone and furious and upset#drank himself to sleep for the first time in months if not years bc after a good run it feels like things are falling apart again#the way they always do. because that's what alan shore deserves#he thought it might be different this time. he thought well my parents didn't care about me. my wife died. I got fired. everyone leaves#maybe this time will be different. but now he's in the hotel room where he lives. without his best friend. about to be disbarred. stupid.#this was always going to happen because he doesn't deserve any better. they were all right about him. they were right to run away#everything is fixed the next day he and denny go on a field trip 🤠 but GD!!!!!#alaaaaannnnnnn 😭
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very slowly trying to learn how to fuckin draw again
#it's been a while b/c i can tell the secondary cataracts in the last eye's gotten way worse BUT at least that'll be fixed next month#anyway i think one of the reasons drawing him is so interesting b/c his body type is full of contrast. he's got muscle right-#but he's got the sags that a 60+year old is naturally gonna have. he's got the fleshy bulk that career knights do. but he's bony in areas-#you don't expect as well. so it's FASCINATING from a 'is this stretch muscle? is this thinner skin showing ribs/knee patella? etc#(i mean i'm also ungodly thirsty over him there's also that.)#intellectually and also iddily interesting. i need to gnaw on him scientifically.#own art
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I started to make this post then passed out for a further 2 hours
#I was wearing a binder all that time by the way.#I went to the store to get snacks to motivate me to do the work I desperately need to do#my backpack was heavy so when I got in I lied down just to stretch out my back and I was gone#I was literally thinkin 'lol I should set a 10 minute alarm just in case'#bitch.#I had finally fixed my sleep schedule too??#this whole weekend I been getting up at 7am and goin to bed around midnight#that's literally so ideal#turns out I hate sleeping in#makes the day so short#nobody expects me to be doing anything at 7am on a sunday it's great
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honestly. I don't really have a lot of interest in jjk anymore, which is super frustrating as the story foundation is really interesting. I have my favorite characters, and I'm not really interested in reading beyond this point.
As a whole, I'm not a huge fan of dropping stories just because they don't go the way you want. In general I personally try not to do this, but stories where the author clearly hates the material or the audience so much they're willing to destroy the story to do so are not enjoyable. I really don't think gege even really likes writing jjk anymore.
There may be some change that I hear about months from now where something worked out one way or the other, but in general I feel like this story is not going to resolve in a way that feels like reading it was a worthwhile experience. And like, for good OR bad. Not every story has a happy ending, but this is really not particularly interesting and I don't feel the need to continue a story where the writer isn't even interested in what happens or how it advances anything outside of their personal pettiness. Feels very much like grr Martin. All the meaningless death and abuse without any real redeeming qualities.
I'm trying to remind myself that not every author wants to be a storyteller. Not every story is good. It's ok to read stories that aren't the best simply because you want to see where it goes, but gege isn't superior in some way, and i dont 'trust that he's cooking'. Even if the story turns around in an interesting or strategic way, I really am not particularly impressed. Ordinarily I would stay along for the ride, but I can't bring myself to care about something even the author doesn't care about. :/
#jjk spoilers#idk i really just dont have any expectations anymore#i love reading books apart from manga and ive had to put down a few because they felt like this#and i have almost always found that in the end my perception of the author and their story was accurate#it makes me sad seeing this unfold in this way#but the shibuya arc which is apparently the least ljked arc in the series#is stretching on forever and people arent enjoying it#anecdotally ive seen a lot of people drop the series#and eventually its just gojng to be all the grimdark losers who unironically love shit like this#it just feels very much like a story for men who hate people#it feels like all the weirdos who made the joker their personality and all the dudes who cant breathe without talking about fight club#or like.. say shit about how the liberals are ruining media like thats the kind of person i see talking about jjk most of the time now#using slurs and not even having intelligent conversations about what's happening#the conversation is usually 'sukuna mid no cap' 'are you stupid gojo is mid stop copium'#and that exchange is repeated over and over like. you have nothing else to add at this point?#i mean i know its primarily bc honestly there really isnt any depth to the story beyond that but my god#what an insufferable way to write or receive a story#and honestly!! i really dont feel like jjk fits into a kids story category at this point#so i do actually feel ljke it is reasonable to expect better writing#not that stories aimed toward kids are bad but one piece is a good example of a story geared more towards children or young adults#adults CAN enjoy it but oda intentionally does not make the story so upsetting that kids cant read it and feel reflected in the events#but jjk is very very different and i think the drop in the quality of writing is reflected in the growing toxicity of the fanbase#anyways.. if you read jjk & youre feeling upset its ok to step away and check in once a month when you can mentally / emotionally prepare#i had to enforce a no read/watch accountability pact with my friends because it was making their depression worse again#no story is worth your health. gege does not give a flying fuck about you. you need to take care of yourself.#im just enjoying my sandbox with the characters and when the story is over ill check back in#theres no right way to experience the story but if its not healthy for you#you wont miss anything by unplugging#and you may find that you really dont want to get back into it when you read it again to check on the story every once in a while#jjk 237
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what do you think about sunfyre and his bond with aegon
for me it's the only thing i like about aegon lmao , sunfyre was a good loyal dragon who deserved better than to die young and broken
usually I try not to think about it because I see so much discourse about it it's kinda insane 💀
I think all the dragons have bonds with their rider. Syrax-Rhaenyra, Helaena-Dreamfyre, Caraxes-Daemon and all the rest.
in the show we see Syrax react to Rhaenyra's pain while giving birth to Visenya, in the book Dreamfyre senses when Helaena dies. And Sunfyre did admittedly have his moments as well.
When he was making his way to dragonstone Gyldayn believed it was due to a primal instinct for Sunfyre to return to his birthplace. This isn't far stretched because this theory has been seen before about other dragons in f&b pre-dance (for instance the black dread and the rumor he went to old valyria aka his birthplace). On the other hand, in the book it's also suggested Sunfyre might have been able to feel Aegon II's urgent need of him.
Personally I think it might have been a mix of both. Sunfyre was extremely injured and couldn't even fly if I remember correctly so it makes sense that he'd want to be back to his birthplace where he felt most safe. On the opposite, I'm a firm believer of dragons sensing their riders emotions so I won't pretend Aegon being in dragonstone didn't play a role.
If anything he probably wanted both and was lucky they were all in the same place.
The competition I've seen in the fandom about "who has the best bond" is quite ridiculous in my humble opinion because we never get the opportunity to see much of the other dragons with their rider (aside being in a battle)
and because I know my girl Syrax will inevitably catch strays as usual, let me disclaimer. George needed a way to get rid of her because if rhaenyra went to dragonstone with Syrax aegon and his soldiers would be doomed (Sunfyre was way too injured to fight and couldn't fly). And because Rhaenyra had to die George found the quickest, stupidest way to off Syrax so pls leave her alone. Take the anger to that man
Now to bring it back and be controversial (because of course I have to be), a common argument I've seen is how aegon after the war wants to claim another dragon, a "better" Sunfyre. Is he a bit of a bitch about this? yes. But also consider the fact that dragons are a symbol of power, I don't think him wanting another dragon means he didn't give a fuck about Sunfyre, rather he had become disabled, slowly paranoid with whom he could trust and who is better and more powerful to have on your side than a dragon?
#ask reply#aegon ii targaryen#canon aegon ii targaryen#I know I brought up the birth scene as an example but the post is mostly about f&b#also to defend Syrax 'cause my boo is always in discourses#Joffrey was DUMB for trying what he did with Syrax. Did he pay no attention to his valerian lessons?#“but Silver he was a child” yeah and a dumb one.#he wanted to save the dragons. Kudos for that. But after all the shit is happening you'd expect to find a better way than this 💀#again. I blame it on George. He didn't want rhaenyra to fight in the sky but he also wanted Syrax to magically disappear#anyways I'm team black here so I can't help defending them but it's genuinely dumb the stretch I see ppl do to claim that Sunfyre and aegon#didn't have a bond like every single rider/dragon did
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my physiotherapist asked me repeatedly if I have joint pain besides my lower back issues (including wanting to look at my hands, making me v curious as to what she was looking for) and I kept saying nahh not really but um. since last time I was there I've Thought about it (may have also entered a bit of a flare since then) and well my shoulders, elbows, wrists, hips, knees and ankles hurt, but other than that you know, not really?
#i think it's partly that i expect pain to cross a certain threshold before it's worth talking about#like i'm mostly in annoying but not disabling pain so it's 'nothing' according to that part of my brain#which is NOT the advice i'd give anyone else lmao#shoulders are randomly worse this week. usually when i have shoulder pain it's a muscle thing and desk related but rn it's def joint pain#also back has started cramping when i do strenuous things or stretch certain ways which is bad#buuut no appt until after MR. will just have to stick a pin in this#applied faunology
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we are deconstructing gender on Google docs tonight boys
#this is stupid LMAO im annotating stuff from a guy from liek the 1400s who prolly didnt even give a shit#when he wrote that In the spirit realm the concept of gender is nebulous at BEST#if not just totally absent#he was like.. ya spirit beings change their genders all the time They switch tey can be combinations they can be nothing#reading that like Hemm…. well 1 big belief Thats held in christianity is that people are spirit beings underneath all the flesh#so what does that mean for the people who are dead set on Sex Organs determining peoples personalities ? idk. makes you think#gender means jack shit basically.#a lot of people raised male tend to behave in certain ways Not because of their sex but because of expectations And norms#and same with people raised female#and that shit goes alll the way back 2 the stone age#obligatory Nothing wrong w falling into gender stereotypes if its stuff u genuinely like!!^_^#anyways i rambled#i would have rambled more if tumblr wasnt trying to kill itself as i was typing#my rambles#my little peewee brain is sometimes capable of coherent thought But calling this coherent migjt be a stretch#bc im hardly in any mind 2 decide if im making sense . its like a fuckin echo chamber up in my brain N every echo becomes more n more warpd#until it eventually sounds normal 2 me ^_^ but when i voice it. the. suddenly i realize Wow thats fucked!#which is why. i usually keep my mouth shut !!!#but thats also bad .real bad If ur opinions always go unchallenged you may as well not even have them#should alwayd know Why you think what u do
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Seeing glimpses of some big discourse on twitter but i have decided to ignore shit started on there because i think the tweet format is so fucking counterproductive to having actually meaningful conversations
#what i will say if only to myself is i think we need less people tweeting about how you need to excercise and more focus on#1. expanding how we define and approach 'excercise'#2. developing and sharing resources to help people engage in physical movement appropriate to their ability#which i do not expect to happen via twitter lol#but also its kinda ironic that people dont seem to make the connection that recreational excercise is something inaccessible to many#disabled people because their time and energy have to be put towards trying to survive the hellscape of capitalism#not that excercise in the conventional helps me in any way due to the horrors (probable ME) but#but thats why i think its worth expanding and upheaving how we approach wellness and movement#im a mild case so i do find stretching and gentle movement helpful but#i do wonder about like#how say can we make things like fresh air natural spaces etc accessible to people with severely limited capacity for movement#its a complicated matter since disability is a broad category...
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thinking thoughts about how by the end of Dark Era, dazai has suffered three betrayals from three people he cares (or, at least, cared) deeply about. ango has been his friend for two years, but chose the Division. oda completely rewired his brain even BEFORE he dies, and is the one person dazai really and truly seems to love by this point, but oda chooses death and vengeance instead of him. mori, who saved him and gave him a purpose, didn’t (and, imo, couldn’t) choose him.
it’s really apparent that he desperately wants to be someone’s priority, but no one will love him in the way he wants to be loved.
#bsd#dazai#vita.txt#oh babyboy maybe if you didn’t expect everyone to read your mind you might get there#but also you were a teenager :(#i feel like you can also kinda add akutagawa to this list too???#this is when dazai learns that akutagawa can do more than just kill#there’s no way dazai doesn’t see akutagawa’s devotion as selfish#also where is chuuya!!!#i feel like mori knew he had to send him away or chuuya would get involved#buuuuut also i feel like it wouldn’t be a stretch that dazai has alienated chuuya completely by this point#idek which is sadder!#also this is a mori-positive zone and mori loves dazai!!!#anyway i just ugly cried for an hour about a wiggly little anime man how are you
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:D
he’s BAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaack~
:D
#please imagine me saying this with a slightly sinister amount of cheer#like when someone's a little TOO excited#not in a weird way but in a#'what do they know that I don't'#'what am I about to be involved in'#sort of way#like when your friend's a little too pumped to find out you're building a bonfire#good. perfect. now let him run around the Tower and be a mischievous little shit.#he's been cooped up for a while he needs to stretch his legs#and get his sass on#NO ONE expects sass from the Warmind#and that's the best paaaaart
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supposed orv movie talks going on...
#what if go back! wj2hrkfjtk#ITS ALREADY A BAD ENOUGH MAGNET FOR PEOPLE WITH BAD LITERARY COMPREHENSION SKILLS IT DOES NOT NEED TO WORSEN#the actors so far... no thanks! OWHEKRJR kdj looking like an idol... Where is my ugly office worker who is a 1#<- this is what yaoi does to filmmaking H3O2WJ#I'll still be tuning in but whatever I have low expectations especially since you'd be adapting orv as a film... which is.. Goodluck!#Like the webnovel is doing its best but orv is literally the best as a webnovel format. It stretches the medium it uses in that way-#and it's themes are heavily tied to that format so it's like... What's up wowhektkg#isdashtalks
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AA6 is very enjoyable again btw
#just fyi theres gonna be spoilers in these tags#so i kinda felt a low in 6-3 which is odd bc that's the Maya case#idk I'm also not a fan of Nahyuta#so each trial was kind of...sitting it out#like i get that Mean Prosecutor to Likeable Prosecutor pipeline is kind of The Thing#(except klavier)#but Nahyuta straight up mentally abusing you and insulting you with childish insults is just...idk#he's not even a good prosecutor lol#ANYWAY 6-4 was amazing and I wish Athena got more than just the one trial#she deserved more#Geiru was amazing and I came all this way just for her and it was worth it#i was kind of dreading 6-5 bc i knew it was gonna be long and Apollo centered and I'm....not that interested in Apollo?#dont get me wrong I *like* Apollo. and aa4 is a great game too#but you could tell in DD that they didn't know what to do next#so they shoehorned Clay in there and it was so inorganic that I couldn't bring myself to invest in it#but I love Dhurke. i love Apollo's dynamic w Dhurke. it's a bit of a stretch that Apollo *never* mentioned Khura'in before but I'll take it#SO ANYWAY investigation 1 has been REAL FUN#and I'm now in the trial and I'm laughing my ass off because I DIDNT EXPECT TO HAVE A NORMAL CIVIL CASE??#and also i went from 'oh cool im going against phoenix :)' to 'oh no im going against phoenix :/'#the moment he's in front of you he's immediately this mysterious hard-to-read attorney#it's consistent Phoenix characterisation and i love it#cant wait#also theyre all so super dramatic abt this like apollo and phoenix are now sworn enemies forever#besties it's technically Just a Case about legal ownership#i understand that there's Stakes but man#so uh...yeah i found the motivation to finish this game#and then I'll be done. I'll have played every aa game
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Tbh (I am not that anon, but I share similar opinions regarding this) I am kind of worried that most Bylers won't receive the storyline as better written or compelling in the next season if Byler doesn't happen in a certain way they're expecting or wanting it to happen (or if Mike's character doesn't end up as they imagined/wished him to be). Because I keep seeing all these takes that Mike being oblivious wouldn't fit for his character bc he's smart and he'd figure out the romance complexities as well, and he must have definitely lied and must be strictly gay 100% and his romance with El should be completely discredited, and he should get Vecna'd and exposed and he's a very secretive character and Byler should get together in an intense dramatic life threatening situation and I'm like... i get it, everyone has their own opinions and wants but aren't those opinions a little bit too specific? and that it's setting up a certain expectation here, and ultimately will lead to ppl saying it's bad/weak writing if none of those things happen in canon.
i feel like no matter what happens people (me included) will be disappointed because it's just like volume 2 we've just been thinking about it for too long lol. and i don't think mike should have all the romance complexities figured out just because he's smart but i do think him not knowing how HE feels makes no sense. in terms of the narrative and also just taking this into consideration
the vecna thing and them getting together in an intense dramatic life-threatening situation yeah that's a very specific thing to expect i don't think you should go into the season expecting anything that specific because that's very "will's painting is gonna be the swing set" and we all know how that turned out. but it's also all in good fun like everyone is obviously gonna get a lot of things wrong lol
about gay mike specifically, i totally get why you would worry about people being too sure about that and then not liking the way byler happens if he isn't but to me it kind of feels like when people tell us not to be so confident byler is gonna happen. like i just see it. i can't unsee it. and it's what makes the most narrative sense to me. but he could come out and say i'm 99.7% gay only and i'd still support him🙏
#and i mean. if people think mike is gay then them expecting his romance with el to be discredited is not exactly a stretch lol#otp: i guess it's not#again i am very much people in this case#and even thinking he lied knowingly is kind of a result of that#not strictly but it's just that it all works. by happenstance? i wouldn't know#and i didn't care about byler or mike being gay going into s4 right#there might be a bit of a gay mike echo chamber but the reason a lot of people think he's gay and also happen to be 100% sure that he is#is because it makes it all make perfect sense#like bro i saw one post that started with the words 'mike isn't bi guys he's straight up gay in denial' in early june (everyone would#hate them for wording it like that now lol. which i kind of get. it's just funny) and suddenly everything made sense and it still makes#sense it just WORKS i can't just let go of that!!! sorry.#i've tried it and i failed#if you don't feel the same way i get why you'd feel like that though. you sent this to the wrong person maybe. because i do feel kind of#strongly about mike being gay and about him knowing it and about him knowing that he lied in the monologue lol#but if i turn out to be wrong then so be it yk i won't LIE and say i won't find it less compelling. but i can't brainwash myself into no#longer thinking that</3#because i just see it all so very clearly...#ask
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the Earth will never be healed again until China starts producing stuff with a sufficient amount of genderfuckery again. nearly all of the most compelling stuff China has ever produced has featured a significant amount of genderfuckery. that and the gay shit. send X or whatever you fools say now
#cursing#sorry i tag swears bc they are outside of my usual speech patter#however they are necessary here.#there are people who want to make the good stuff. gayness and the genders and whatnot. we won't know peace until they do so again#when i took the chinese cinema course I really started to fall in love with yhe defining qualities of chinese production#and the world needs chinese creators to be permitted to stretch their beautifully choreographed highly stylized slow-motion wings ok#actually the ways some of the great filmmakers of the chinese tradition add naturalism is so unique and enrapturing#just imagine if we were regularly getting the untamed but filmed by zhang yimou and funded like filmmaking is free and they kiss in the end#I am going to watch the fairy and demon one#but I don't have too high of hopes. i hope it will be fun! but I don't expect the to lean all the way in#what I'm deally wanting to see is one like the nine-headed demon thing#midsummer night's dream wuxia or xianxia#like where is romance and attraction and all of it DURING the genderedness OK#LEAN IN#the 9 eyed demon looks HORRIBLE mostly because there is a lack of love w the demon (looks abusive and boring)#but ALSO because they refuse to Lean All The Way In#go all the way!! take it there!! don't be afraid!#easy to say from here I guess. without the chinese government breathing down my neck#blabbering about correct messaging#you know we actually just completely skipped the era of the cultural revolution in filmmaking. as there were “no movies of merit” produced#don't do this again China. please relax the freaking censoring 😭😭#man I just feel so bad for the creators that make things they love only to have then completely slashed or censored into emptiness#the fact that the untamed made something BETTER than the original because the used censorship like poetic form#its so beautiful. so chefs kiss#but my wish for the talented creators of china is that they will not have this form forced on their work forever.#most of the time it doesn't do what it dod the the untamed#and even that was produced before the got CRAZY
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