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#strike out are like never ever moments like it is out of character entirely
loetise · 2 years
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muse’s worst traits.  ˎˊ˗             bold what applies. italicize what sometimes applies. repost don’t reblog.
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aggressive,   callous,   cannibal,   careless,   compulsive,   cowardly,   domineering,   envious,   greedy,   hypocritical,  impatient,   impolite,   incompetent,   kidnapper,   lazy,   liar,   materialistic,   murderer,   obsessive,   overcritical,   overemotional,   patronizing,   sarcastic,   self-indulgent,   serial killer,   torturer,   touchy,   traitorous,   unclean,   unpredictable,   untidy,   vain,   vengeful.
tagged by;   @bytectrl​  ♡♡ tagging;   you, steal this and say i tagged you!
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knickynoo · 2 years
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I am once again pondering the fact that Marty McFly is just such a fantastic character. Like, especially when you look at other male protagonists in the 80s, they all follow a similar trend. A lot are uber cool and suave, with the added side effect of also being a jerk. Many are popular jocks or whatever. Big flirts. Edgy and troubled or sleazy, etc.
And Marty is sort of in his own category entirely. He's cool, but he's not? He skateboards and kills it on guitar but has 2 whole friends--his girlfriend and a disgraced scientist--and crippling self-doubt and can't go a day without falling down or tripping over his own feet or nearly being killed by a car.
He's polite. He's respectful. Won't let anyone mess with the people he loves and doesn't let a moment pass by where he can thank somebody or apologize for a wrongdoing. (seriously, Marty has beautiful manners. Like, it is quite noticeable how often he says, "please," "thank you," "excuse me," or "sorry".)
His emotions are all SO BIG and he doesn't hold back on them. He gets all animated when he's excited and yells when he's scared and cries when he's sad and pulls his friend into big ol' hugs.
He literally never knows what is going on. Marty exists in the constant state of confusion. Between asking Doc to "wait a minute" every other sentence and his ever-changing, scattered thoughts, Marty is just out there trying to survive. Just slow it down, alright? He's a smart guy, but he's also got elevator music playing in his head. Really really fast elevator music.
Time means nothing to him. His watch is broken. He's racking up tardies like it's nobody's business. Stopping by the garage to look for Doc and play some guitar when he should be at school. He's got to get out of that stupid suit RIGHT THIS INSTANT even though he's got one shot at the lightning strike at the clock tower.
Marty just. Does things. There is zero impulse control. A synapse fires and Marty's brain goes "!!!" and that's that. Punch the bully who's twice your size, buy that sports almanac, just Walk Away while Doc is talking to you. Buy that sweet leather jacket. Ignore ALL instructions you're given! Marty, you need constant supervision and I love you for that.
He's just. Marty is the most character. Look at him.
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They really knocked it out of the park with this guy.
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gyuswhore · 5 days
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Never Shall We Die (1)
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«« Nothing is too outlandish when it’s a life of liberty on the line. »» 
PAIRING: kwon soonyoung x reader
PLAYLIST: right here!
pirate lingo glossary (pls refer!)
SYNOPSIS: Deadliest pirate on the high seas or a damn fool? The stupid King and his men have snatched Hoshi's precious pirate ship with their too clean, too soft hands; grounds to question his own vices. Except, when he and his crew land in the quarters of a navy ship, revenge on their roster, they stumble across a princess in its gallows. Hoshi wonders if he's just struck gold, or if you'd become the final tread to his downfall.
GENRES: pirate!au, enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut [minor dni], some pirates of the carribean vibes but ? idk
WORD COUNT [full fic]: 48.1k
Part 1: 17.07k | Part 2: 15.2k | Part 3 [final]: 15.8k
@highvern's out of context comment box: new fear unlocked: hoshi with explosives, victorian ankle moment, HATE HIM (need him carnally), hoshi covered in soapy water would distract me enough, strip for me pirate mingyu [hes litrally taking off his jacket], your honor hes a bitch, freaks!, mingyu crushes hoshi's head like a grape, WONWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, massive dick, the way i literally gasped like an old scandalized woman
masterlist
WARNINGS: slowburn, plot heavy, happy ending bc no angsty endings in this household, being taken hostage, knives, bombs, and guns, mentions of blood, mentions of SA (does not happen and it is not explicitly mentioned), alcohol, mentions of death (patricide), hoshi is ✨selectively moral✨but kind of moral nonetheless, side character death, [pls lmk if im missing something its alot] smut tagin following parts
[AN]: thank you so much to @highvern for betaing for me and helping out with the plot so much, this fic would not exist if it weren't for her!!!! and thank you reader!!! for clicking on this and reading it, this one's been about 7 months in the works and I would love to hear what your thoughts are when you're done, plsplspls leave a rb or a reply with your brainrot lol <3 happy reading
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HOSHI’S BOOT IS STUCK in the ground. 
No, that’s a branch. 
Or is it a plank? 
He doesn’t try to find out as he yanks his foot out of whatever stopped him from moving. A tree root, he finds as he kicks the remnants of jungle rubbish from the surface of the shrouded root. He kicks it to satisfy himself. 
His crew resides on the beach; where he can see them attempt to build a fire before sundown, the mound of discombobulated twigs making up most of the sad pile of wood. Hoshi trudges up to it and drops another handful of puny branches into the mix. 
Exhaling loudly as Mingyu calls for him, he falls to his bottom and sits cross legged on the sand. Mingyu trudges up next to him to inspect his pile, sighing when he realised this was all he had to work with. He picks up two hefty looking stones and begins to strike them together, putting his faith in the primitive fire. 
Hoshi stares into the horizon, watching the died down waves drift onto the shore, moving closer by the minute. 
Hoshi thinks, which he can’t say is something that he does very often. Perhaps that’s why he was sat on this nature-overrun island as a shipless captain of his shipless crew. He chews on his tongue as he thinks of his Tigress, his beloved hunk of wood and metal; the beloved hunk of wood and metal that he could not see on the shoreline, because she was taken by the royal navy. 
He wonders if Tigress would ever forgive him for letting that happen to her, for letting those clean, soft handed soldiers rip her away from his grasp. 
Hoshi needs to start thinking more often.
Mingyu is frantic over the small flame that erupts in the middle of his leaves, dropping his rocks to blow into the fire, encouraging it to grow. 
“Captain, it’s done! We can rustle up those fish we caught, have supper sorted.” 
“Hm.”
The bustle of the entire crew lasts until night has fallen and they’ve gotten food in their stomachs. Hoshi hasn’t moved from his spot for hours, something the others noticed very quickly, but decided not to mention for fear of waking something dangerous. They understood he was suffering from a broken heart. 
It isn’t until the first of the crew had begun to doze off that Hoshi speaks. Chan is propped up against a tree while Seungkwan and Jeonghan laugh at the dangerously low coconut that hangs above his head. Mingyu readjusts his trousers after a full meal. Minghao stretches onto the sand, feet facing the water. 
His voice isn’t loud, nor is it commanding, nor does it have his usual edge of jest—in fact, it sounds nothing like Hoshi at all. 
Or does it?
“Who wants to steal a ship?”
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YOU'RE AWOKEN BY THE sound of yelling. Which is never a good sign in any case, but especially not when it’s pitch black outside and you’re on a ship in the middle of the ocean.
The grogginess is quick to fade as you try to understand what’s going on outside your quarters. Your room isn’t a mess, all the trinkets and royal seals remaining in their places on the walls and shelves. Nor is the ship lurching or moving in odd angles to indicate an unexpected spat from the skies. A quick peek outside the window shows you clear, calm water amidst the mostly dark expanse of ocean. 
There is only one other answer in your head that would cause this much commotion—especially on a boat where the admiral resides (and a princess). 
Slipping out of the covers, your feet hit the cool hardwood floors of your quarters, a small shiver going through your spine from the cold, with nothing to cover you but your thin nightgown. You’re in the middle of tying your robe to see what the ruckus was about outside when a particularly loud thud hits outside of your door. You immediately freeze. 
Staring at the doorknob, you attempt to move backwards in the space, heart beating faster as you watch the knob move slightly. The back of your knees hit the bedside table with a thud, the sound has you gasp out loud. Whoever it was outside your door jiggles the knob harder, the force exerted having you scan the room for something you could use as a weapon. 
Spotting the letter opener on your desk, you lurch across the room to grab it, holding it in front of you as you back away from the door. The knob continues to bang against the wood as you refuse to take eyes off of it. There’s sounds of men outside, loud and rambunctious, momentarily halting the grievances. 
Until the knob moves again, slower this time, a light click that could be heard as it unlocks itself, opening into the low light of your quarters. 
You recognise the frazzled looking soldier at your door. 
“Lieutenant,” you voice in recognition. “What’s going on?”
He eyes the letter opener that you hold defiantly in front of you from across the room, and it has you retracting your force slightly. 
“Pirates, your Highness,” he breathes out. “We must get you to lower deck—”
“Where is the Admiral? The Captain?” you ask as you take a couple steps forward. 
“They’re handling the situation, your High–” 
An arm has come up behind the soldier that pulls him into a headlock, a swift pull to have him dragged away from your vision. You would’ve gasped if your voice hadn’t been caught in your throat, refusing to make itself known as fear brews in the pit of your stomach. Your hold on your makeshift weapon is tighter than ever before, yet you doubt how it’s going to help you as the culprit finally steps over something to appear in your doorframe. 
His clothes are in a disarray; slashed, torn and covered in grime. There’s a deadly looking machete in one hand, the blood that coats it has you eyeing the trail that drips onto his hand and on the floor. His forearms are perched up on the doorframe as he inspects you, tongue to cheek as he stares. 
Threatened as you feel, there was less hunger in his gaze as you had expected, more like he was trying to figure out who you were. He eyes your tiny letter opener you hold like a knife and lets out a little exhale you think might be a laugh. It has you gripping the handle impossibly tighter. The man moves his face into the hallway, to where you know the staircase to the main deck is. 
“Hoshi!” he yells loudly. “How’s this for bait?” 
Your back is pressed inexplicably against the wall, wanting to sink into the wooden boards as you attempt to gain your bearings amongst the nauseous bouts of mortification that surge through you. Your only exit is blocked.
No. You have one more option. 
The sound of more men bounding down the hall has you praying there were more soldiers here, but the calm regard the man has for the approaching people has your heart sink to the depths of this very ocean itself. 
More faces peer into the room, men with the same haphazard, grimey clothing complete with  equally sinister weapons in their grasps. One of the men breaks out into the biggest grin as he lays his eyes on you. You nearly throw up. 
For the first time in your life, you wish you’d listened to your father. 
“Jun, you savvy motherfucker,” the grinning man explodes, slapping the man who found you on the back. 
Another voice speaks from behind him, “Ships cleared, captain.” 
“Perfect. Bring a spring upon ‘er. Get as far away from those cleans as you can, let them fend for themselves in a tiny boat for once.” 
Captain. The grinning, stupid looking one is their captain. 
He regards the rest of his crew as he finally steps through the threshold, waving them away as he enters your quarters.
It was taking everything out of you to not buckle your knees as you stood, every step he takes is turning your strength into dust. He keeps his eyes on you, eyes on your sorry excuse of a weapon. He registers the mix of fear and determination in your eyes. 
He stops a few feet away from you, looking directly at you past the makeshift knife you hold. 
He says nothing as he drops the knife in his own hand to the ground with a loud clang. He removes a pistol, a couple more knives, a grenade and a sword. Weapons drop to the floor one after the other, emerging from all over his body and clothes. All in a pile on the wooden floors. He puts his hands in the air.
“No weapons on me. I merely wish to talk.” 
The look on his face is not ordinary, some strange combination of mock innocence and jest. You don’t answer him.
He continues, “You can keep your… scalpel… if you so wish.” 
“What did you do to the soldiers?” you finally rasp out.
“They’re not dead, if that's what you’re asking.”
“Yet?” you ask with a slight tremble to your voice. 
“They’ve been shoved into a boat with a map and a compass to fend for themselves. I’m not entirely ruthless,” he adds with raised brows and a hint of a smile. “Admiral, were they calling him? You must be his wife.”
“W-what?”
“Oh, guess not. Daughter? Captain’s wife, Captain’s daughter?”
Your previously stagnant brain is now running a derby with all the thoughts galloping across your mind. He doesn’t know who you are. Yet, anyway.
He’s scanning the room now, nodding at the trinkets and trophies scattered across the place. “Can’t imagine giving a lieutenant’s anybody quarters like this.” He circles back on you, eyes sharp. “Who are you, darling?”
You don’t think you have anything that should give you away, but the way he starts pacing the room has your anxiety going through the wooden roof.
He has his back turned to you. You’re not sure if he’s confident or careless considering you could drive your weapon into his back and make a run for it. But then what? By the looks of it there’s an entire crew of pirates pacing the deck. Perhaps the soldiers haven’t gotten that far; they know you’re still on board, they know it’s their heads on a pike if they leave you here. 
He’s reached your desk during your thinking, inspecting your stationary, picking at the bejewelled quills and paper weights as he mutters nonsense to himself. 
“Oh!” he announces, a little too enthusiastic. “What’s this?” 
He brandishes the loose leaf of paper, and you recognise the print on the back immediately. It was a letter from your father, the King.
“How on Earth did you read this, the writing is illegible.” He flips the paper over, double taking when he sees the royal seal on the back. He looks into the letter closer now. 
You wait with baited breath. 
“The kingdom needs their princess…your father…ah.” 
Should you plunge the knife into him anyway? You almost do it, but stop when he begins to turn around to face you again. His eyebrows are raised, a slight hint of exasperation on his face when he begins to laugh a loud, loud cackle. 
It’s mortifying, especially when you don’t understand what on earth was so funny to elicit a reaction like that. The man is downright hysterical. He wipes a lone tear from the corner of his eye as he drops the letter back onto the desk.
“W-what’s so funny?” you try to sound brave.
“It seems, miss princess, that we’ve gotten more than we bargained for,” he says, looking straight at you as he sobers up. “You’re the King’s daughter, now, are you? What are the odds the first ship I hop onto with a royal seal slapped on it, held the crown jewel of the kingdom in its gallows.” 
And then he starts walking, towards you, for that matter. Imperative because you know for sure that this is how it all ends. 
You know you still have your one last option, the option that is now pressed against your back as you shimmy to it with miniscule movements. The window is cool on your hand that rests on the glass, you know the lamp will be enough to break it, enough for you to push through and fall into the abyss of the dark, dark sea. He knows who you are now, and you’d rather drown than die at the hands of a pirate—or go through whatever it was that’s curling the minds of all the men on this ship. 
He takes another step forward, hands on his hips. “He’s not going to like this, is he? His dear daughter in the hands of the Kingdom’s favourite degenerate captain.” 
What?
He then adds in a whisper to himself mostly, “Or least favourite with all the wanted posters off the churches and brothels.” 
Hoshi. Hoshi. Hoshi. 
The man who had found you had called him Hoshi. Hoshi the pirate. Hoshi the pirate that’s been giving the Kingdom and its court absolute hell for as long as you can remember. 
The man that you are now trapped alone with on a ship is the most feared pirate the Kingdom has ever seen. 
You don’t doubt your face has gone grey, feeling your breathing turn near erratic. “Oh God.”
He smiles wryly as the life is sucked out of your very soul. 
This was bad. Very bad.
“Now, fear not, you will soon be returned to daddy dearest,” he places a mildly dramatic hand over his heart. “Pirate’s honour.”
He paces back to pluck the letter off the table, pocketing it. “All you need to do is relax and tell me a few things so we can part ways as soon—”
“No.” The word blurts out of your mouth before you can stop it, horrified at the thought of giving information to any pirate, let alone this one. 
“No?” Hoshi looks genuinely shocked, his eyes wide, eyebrows raised. He laughs a little incredulously, “Oh, I see, can’t tell all the delicate details to a scary ol’ pirate.”
He smiles a little bit, “Worry not, miss princess, we shall only need a few minor details. Just enough to have your father sprinting to get you out of here. We all win.”
He stares at you almost expectantly, and you wonder if you look as confused as you feel. 
“Well, I’ll be bidding you goodnight now, I’m sure we’ve interrupted your beauty sleep enough. Rest assured we won’t be bothering you for the rest of the morning.”
Hoshi begins to make his way to the door, picking up his pile of weapons off the floor before wrenching the door open. He’s calm as ever, but your mind is in a disarray.
A ransom, but whatever for? Gold could’ve been retrieved by raiding any ship, and it sounded like he’d chosen to hop on a ship belonging to the navy. Come to think of it, as much of a nuisance this man has proved himself, you don’t remember a case where he’s directly meddled with the Kingdom. All of this can’t just be for gold. 
Steeling yourself, you bet your odds against your voice and asked him, “What do you want from my father?” 
You watch as he halts in his tracks, halfway through the door as he finally looks over his shoulder. The look on his face has you wanting to break open the window immediately and let the water flood in, once and for all as you take these bastards down with you. 
“Your father has something of mine. And I intend to take it back,” he says, before finally slamming the door shut. You hear a shuffle and a thud, and you do not doubt that he’s locked you in. 
Your knees give out almost immediately, dropping to the ground as you breathe in quick, shallow breaths. Trying to look past the dizziness, you try not to think about the last thing he’d said before he left, moreso the look on his face as he did. 
The first rays of morning sun are beginning to shine through the windows, casting the beginnings of a glow in your quarters. You think of the supposed assurance he had given you, that they wouldn’t hurt you, that they intended to return you. 
The thought leads to a faraway memory, yet one that’s tucked itself into a front corner of your mind, you can almost hear your father's voice as he says it; never trust a pirate.
You remain on the floor, and you remain wide awake. 
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THE SUN IS HIGH in the sky by the time you put your limbs to work. 
The first hours after the pirate locked you in your quarters were spent trying to reign yourself to earth. You can’t be entirely sure your soul has come back to your body, but whatever little of it that has landed is whispering some very dangerous things. 
The lamp remains, the ornate jewels glinting almost enticingly in the afternoon light. The flame inside it has long died, but you itch to give it another purpose. You don’t note the trembling of your hand as you reach for it, pushing yourself to your feet as you get a feel for the heavy hunk of glass and metal in your hands. 
If there was a level of regard before, it disappears when you set eyes on the bright window and the creases of crystal blue water. With all your strength, you don’t think twice when the lamp makes hard contact, a loud thud erupting as a result, but no damage when you pull away. 
You go again, harder this time, and only vaguely register the glass of the lamp that shatters into your hands. Gripping the metal bit tighter, you swing for the third time, pulling back for the strongest blow yet. 
A hand wraps around your elbow and you’re yanked backwards, landing on the floor. There’s a kick at your hand that’s flown into the air, the one that holds the bludgeoned lamp. It goes flying across the room as you retract your hand into yourself. 
You don’t register a thing as you’re suddenly being pulled back up to your feet. Face to face with the pirate captain, your soul finally clicking back into place. 
“Didn’t think I scared you this bad.” He’s made a joke, but all you can see is his face that’s a mask of rage.
The initial instinct is to move away, pulling your elbow out of his grasp in an attempt to flee. You fail as he tightens his grip to a painful degree, hauling you towards the ajar door of the quarters. 
It’s only then that you realise that there’s more people in the room.You note another big, burly man next to the window you just assaulted, inspecting it with another shorter man. You don’t get to note more as you’re pulled into the narrow hallway, begging the saints he doesn’t take the turn towards the lower decks. Instead you find he leads you upstairs to where the main deck is. 
Walk the plank? Did navy ships have planks to walk on? Not that you’d mind too much, you were trying to drown yourself and this ship in any case. But then there’s a settle of dread in the pit of your stomach, realising death may be the most merciful thing this man could give you. 
The pirate captain pushes you against a mast, one of his other minions rushing in with coils of rope on his shoulder. The sun beats down on the deck, not a gust of reprieve from the wind. 
“Keep the ropes tight, she’s got less wit than I’d thought,” the pirate captain says with a grunt, huffing as he lets go of you. He takes a few steps away, hands at his hips, the image of vexation. 
The person who ties the cords around your hands whispers slowly, “Stop moving.”
But you can’t, not when the panic is near the lip, not when all the possibilities are flashing gore filled images into your vision. It's scary to blink. 
“Why won’t you let me die?” you ask to the back that’s turned.
He turns around, not even bothering hiding the exasperation that paints his face, mouth opening furiously before closing again. “Why won’t—Because you were trying to take us all with you!”
“Kill me!” you all but scream. “They won’t know till you’ve gotten what you want, I’d rather be dead than let you try whatever’s brewing in all your sick heads!” 
He’s silent for a moment, noting your defiant gaze, your pull against the ropes, the heaving of your chest. Taking a few steps forward, Hoshi seems to be attempting to bring the boil in his blood to a low simmer, “Listen, princess. We’re pirates alright, but me and my crew, we keep to ourselves. If your daddy the king hadn’t decided to meddle and steal my fucking ship, you would’ve been home in your pretty palace, asleep in your bed of gold by now.” 
The pirate captain’s face is closer than you’d ever be comfortable with, seething in a way that has you pressing further into the mast. “We may be degenerates but we keep our own morals, as twisted as your people heed them to be.” 
When he finally pulls away, you take a breath and thank the air that simply exists, eyes downcast as you attempt to look braver than you feel. 
“I’m not pushing you overboard. I’ve duped your people once, they’ll be more prepared next time. We need you alive while you’re in our hands.” 
“How are you going to summon a ransom? You sent away your only messengers,” you ask, a sad attempt at a mock, but also because you wanted to know what his plan was. 
“Your useless Admiral’s taken up that job.”
“By lifeboat? You’ve left them all for dead, how do you expect this genius plan to work?” 
“They could’ve swam to shore if it came to it, we were close enough.”
“How are you so sure?” you spit.
“Do I need to gag you too?” he gives you one last irritated look before stalking off towards the lower deck. You’re left alone in the cooling afternoon heat, the sound of the sea keeping your ears company along with your own slowing breaths. 
Everything he said has a good enough chance to be a complete and utter lie. Never trust a pirate. No weapon to cut yourself out of your impossibly tight binds, nothing to protect you or give you reassurance besides a pirate’s word—the worst pirate’s word. 
Your battered thinking leads you straight through the setting of the sun, the orange glow of the sky shrouding the ship in the dreamiest backdrop while you live what you can only sum as a nightmare. Perhaps not, for you doubt your mind could ever conjure up a terror like this. 
This was life, the most terrifying nightmare of all. 
Having managed to wiggle your tied hands downwards, you had seated yourself with your head against the wood of the mast, staring into the translucent skies. So much freedom that taunts you in its illusion of proximity, yet so far still. 
There’s murmurs below deck, the only semblance of life you’ve heard in the past few hours after the stupid pirate captain stormed off. It seems to be on the stairs, a heated argument. 
“Obviously this wasn’t part of the plan, the chances were supposed to be zero to absolutely none. We landed with that scumbag’s successor, that’s just our piss luck and nothing more.” 
“You wanted a woman for bait, this should work the same.”
“Hao, I wanted a woman for bait to trigger a lukewarm reaction, this princess could either doom us all or make our job a fat punch easier, and I’m not betting on the latter.”
There’s a pause. 
“If only she’d cut it with the random hysterics and creepy-staring-at-the-sky we could actually get something useful out of her.” 
“Pray that window holds up or any chance of a miracle is gone to the wind.”
It’s like you’ve woken up with the way the stupid idea begins to form in your head. You think of your father, the kind of man he is, the kind of ruler he is. All the ‘if’s are guiding you to a conclusion. One that gives you a fighting chance, one that may go beyond this massive navy ship and clear into the rest of your life—if you make it that far anyway. 
Your father and his men would come, give this unhinged pirate what he desires so dearly, you know that for sure. But you also know it wouldn’t be for you, but for the crown that’s destined to fall upon your cursed head. 
If it’s his ship that he wants…
The next time you see one of the pirate captain’s goons on the deck, you ask for an audience. 
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“DID YOUR STUPID FATHER drop you on your head as a baby?” 
Hoshi stands before you under the light of the midnight moon, an incredulous expression on his face. You try to keep the scowl off your own but it proves difficult when his voice pierces your skull. 
You ignore him from your position on the floor, “I know my father, and I know he loathes you enough to finally want you and your incompetent crew gone for good.”
He scratches his chin, “Can’t be that incompetent if he hates us so much.”
“I can help you.”
“You were ready to die than to be on the same ship as us a few hours ago. What’s changed?”
“Perspective,” you shrug in an attempt to remain nonchalant. 
“Are you gonna go back to wailing in the morning then?” 
God, this was going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. 
“You want your ship back and you were hoping for someone less important to exchange it for. But you’re stuck with me and you know it’s not going to end well for you. You need my help.” 
“Why so merciful, miss princess? Are you not on your father’s side?” 
You gulp as discreetly as possible.
“I want something in exchange.”
He raises his eyebrows, staring at you to continue. 
“I want you to kill my father.”
If his eyebrows were raised before, they’ve broken for the skies now. He leans his head back, eyes closing for a moment before reopening, reigning back to you before asking very gracefully, “What?” 
“I want you to kill my father.”
“No, I got that bit,” he snaps. “Your father as in, the King?”
“Yes, as you’ve pointed out far more times than anyone ever has.” You can’t help but roll your eyes despite the weight of the situation and the hammering in your chest. 
He stares at you in an expression you can’t quite read, and it unsettles you deeply. For a moment, you wonder if you’ve gravely miscalculated, watching as he moves around the mast you’re tied to. Out of the corner of your eye you see the metal glint of a dagger, and you nearly short circuit. 
Is he about to cut your hands off?
You feel a distinct tug at your wrists, the sound of slicing, and the voice in your head asking why it didn’t hurt. 
Suddenly your hands are free, intact and free as you achingly bring them in front of you, wincing audibly at the pain of moving them after so long. 
“You can jump into the water if you’d like, I won’t stop you.” He walks back over, sitting cross legged opposite you, at eye level. 
“What?”
“You’ve clearly gone mad, I’ll find another way to get my ship back.”
“I’m being serious.”
“Of course, and I utterly enjoy having a kingdom’s worth of blood on my hands. Shall I take the entirety of the court down while we’re at it? Carry out a fucking waltz with Jack Ketch?”
“Why are you acting like you’re above murder? Another part of your strange moral code?” 
“No, no, not above it at all. But I like my head and rather not have it guillotined. They might skim over the death of some too-nosy soldier but I doubt they’d leave me be after I put a bullet between the King’s eyes.”
“I’ll protect you.”
He looks at you for a moment, “Quite reassuring.” 
You sit up straighter, licking your lips as you prepare yourself. “My father isn’t a good man.”
The pirate captain snorts, “Oh, I’m well aware.”
You try not to stare too hard at the still unsheathed dagger that he digs into the floorboards, knifing out splinters in disregard. 
“My father doesn’t want me home, he wants the crown home. He wants me to be a carbon copy of himself, he wants to be in control long after he’s gone.” You try not to grind your teeth too hard but it’s difficult when your father’s face burns behind your eyelids. “I want control over the throne, full control.”
“And your conclusion is to eliminate him.”
“I don’t have another choice.”
“Then what? You’ll pardon me and my crew after we get our hands dirty for you?” he asks, eyes wide in mock hope. 
“Yes. You can do whatever it is that you sail about doing and no one will be of bother. I might ask you for sparing favours. For a wage of course. But other than that, you can live as lawlessly as you wish.”
“You’re asking me to become your personal lackey?”
“Having a queen’s favour is no small feat I hope you’re aware. Besides, it's a leap better than the hoops you’ve been jumping through during my father’s reign.” 
You realised his face had been shrouded by the dark between your negotiating and the clouds that had veiled the moon. Every moment that was supposed to strengthen your understanding of the man that sat across from you only brought you more confusion. 
“You want your ship and freedom of land and sea,” you continue when it’s silent for a beat too long. “I only ask for a small favour in return.”
“I’d argue the miniscule nature of what you’re asking from me,” he scoffs.
“Nothing is too outlandish when it’s a life of liberty on the line.” 
There crawls in the silence once again, the same one that seems to grab you by the throat for every moment that ticks past undisturbed. 
“We’ll have to see to that,” he says, huffing as he gets back on his boot clad feet. You follow him with your eyes as he walks towards the creaky stairs that lead to the lower deck, utterly confused. 
“Where are you going?” you ask, bewildered at his strange behaviour. 
Turning around, just as he had a mere day ago in your quarters and you feel yourself suppressing a shudder. “I have a crew to consult.”
So he was considering it. 
“But you’re the captain.”
“And?” 
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THE SKY IS A lighter sheen of blue, leaning towards the premature hours of the morning. He’d left you untied, and as you gaze into the duned waters in the minimal light, the urge to jump in and create a ripple that goes beyond just the water is less tempting than you’d thought. The prospect of having a dead father, and a dead king, was enough to snap you out of your hysteria despite it being a plot of your own devising. 
You’ve been alone for a while, little indication that there was other life on this ship at all with the lack of human activity. There wasn’t much that you knew of sailing or ship handling, but leaving the deck unmanned for this long gave you the vague impression that you were on a vessel with poor practising pirates. If they’d thought you’d be equipped to handle any hiccups, they’d either find out the hard way, or whenever it was that you could find the wit to bring it up to the pirate captain and his strangely attached crew. 
Something that sounds distinctly like boots are thudding gradually up to the main deck, the unmistakable blond of the pirate captain himself coming into view. You aren’t quite sure what it is, but the low thuds are sending your heart racing, panic overcoming your senses for a brief moment before you recalibrate. It’s only then that you realise it’s been more than 24 hours since the ship was hijacked. Somehow, you could have believed it was a lifetime. 
He’s disturbingly nonchalant, hand at the sheathed hilt of the dagger at his hip, a casual glance around at the empty abyss of ocean and sky. When he reaches the far end of the deck, right above the prow, he stops. 
“Are you going to push me off the rails?” you ask, half genuine, half trying to fill the silence as you face one another. 
“No.” He said it plainly, the single word reply leaving you even more uncomfortable. 
“Have you thought about what I said…with your crew?” you ask, hand coming up to grab the railing for support. 
“I did.” 
“Do I sense an objection?” you ask, swallowing the lump in your throat
“Not exactly,” he says. “We want to hear your master plan for this heist before we agree to anything.” 
He’s asking for a plan, a plan that you do not have.
You aren’t sure how he figured it out, perhaps it was the slight darting of your eyes as you thought of a response, but he seemed to read you like a book. He snorts loudly, “You don’t have a clue, do you?”
“You’ve done this before, you’d know better.”
“And if I led you astray?”
You look at him, this time right into his dark eyes, “Then you lead me astray.” 
“Your contentment with death is wildly unsettling.” There’s a ghost of a sneer at his lip. 
“I’d rather be lounging in the bottom of the ocean than live with a prospective future with my father.” 
“So I’ve heard.”
There’s a huff that leaves you as you steel your voice. “I��m not trying to set you up if that’s what you’re afraid of.”
“I doubt you’d have that capability,” he says as he leans his forearms over the railing. You briefly consider pushing him over but think better of it. 
As much as you wanted to be a sneaky link, you simply didn’t have that trait. You blame all the dependency your father’s fostered into you, ensuring that you couldn’t rule without his influence. 
“Are you willing to brew a plan or not? I need to time my dip in the ocean accordingly,” you say, sounding almost disgruntled.
He lets out a big sigh, “Follow me.”
He’s made himself familiar with the ship, you soon realise, as he leads you right downstairs to the lower deck towards the war room. When he opens the door, the room is lit with lamps, casting a golden glow on the reddish interior, warmer than the rest of the ship. 
“Stay here, and don’t do anything stupid,” he tells you as he shuts the door behind him, leaving you alone in the cabin. 
You only exhale in response as you turn away from the door, towards the large table in the centre. It’s slightly cluttered, studying the scrawled notes as you realise they’re all from the Admiral, his directions and plans of course littered across the table. Turning towards the map on the walls, you lift a finger to trace the lifted ridges of snow capped mountains, trailing towards the dipped shallows of the blue water. 
It was an exact replica of the tactile map in the war room back home, and you’re suddenly hit with a pang of nostalgia. Not that you’d been away from home for too long, but the end result of what you're about to do, regardless of the outcome, would change your life forever. 
You feel yourself breathing in the lingering scent of mildew, a strange comfort in the warm quarters.
There’s a creak at the door, and you quickly retract to find the pirate captain back at the door, walking in with a trail of men behind him. You recognise them by their faces, watching as they all take their places in the edges of the room. They look relaxed. You note the pirate captain taking his place behind the main drawing table. 
“Your throne, miss princess.” He gestures exaggeratedly towards the lone cushioned chair across from him. You’re hyper aware of all the eyes that are trailed on you, and you feel almost embarrassed to take the only seat. 
It only lasts for a moment. You walk up to the chair with what you hope exuded confidence and take your place across from the pirate captain. His men circle the edge of the room, and you count five other men. 
He sighs, “I think introductions are in order.”
“Mingyu, Minghao,” he points to the two men that had inspected your window right after you tried breaking it open. 
“Jun,” he gestures to the one who had found you in your quarters the night it all went wrong. 
“Seungkwan and Chan,” you recognize the latter as the one who’d tied you to the mast at his captain’s command. 
“They’ll be helping kill your dear father.” 
It’s silent for a moment as you attempt to moisten your mouth. You’re reminded you haven’t eaten or drank for hours, not since one of them had come up with a tray of whatever they could find for you from the reserves. 
“I know I may not be the most admissible person to trust, or vice versa—” You hear someone snort but choose to ignore it. “But I’m willing to make myself useful to you if it means you would help me too.”
“Would it not be easier to lock him up instead?” someone asks, and you turn to find Seungkwan asking the question from next to the tactile map. 
“He has too many people indebted to him, too many that are too loyal for their own good. I cannot truly rule for as long as he’s alive and well.”
“And how do you expect his loyal court mongers to let you bid favour to the people who killed their king?” the pirate captain asks with a raised brow. 
“Which is why it needs to look like an accident.” 
“How do you reckon we go about that?”
“What message have you given the Admiral?”
“You don’t answer a question with another question—”
“We need to be transparent with each other if either of us wants to make it out relatively unscathed.”
He doesn’t look too happy but he answers anyway, “My ship and five hundred thousand for all our trouble. Two months from now at the Green Islands up north.”
The Green Islands were anything but green, the glaciers being near uninhabitable owed to the ruthless weather. It was smart enough, it’d be near impossible to bring as much violent power that far north, no matter how influential anyone is.  
“Is five hundred thousand all I’m worth?” you feel the beginnings of a sneer rise up your mouth. You aren’t sure what prompted it but you don’t want to fight it either. 
“Didn’t know I was bartering for a fucking princess’ case, did I?” he snaps. “Now tell us how you want us to commit the undetected homicide of a King.”
“We need to blow up his ship.” To your surprise (and maybe even a little horror), the pirate captain breaks into a slight grin. Neither do you miss other bits of his crew releasing a bit of a snicker. 
There’s a flare of defiance within you, “Do you have any better ideas then?” 
“No, no. Go on,” he says with his head hung. You’re surprised he has the character to shield his smile. 
“He doesn’t frequent the seas but I’m almost sure he’d be present at the exchange.”
“Almost?” he questions.
You hesitate. The combined chance of needing the crown home and seeing to the downfall of his enemies would be enough warmth to send him to the greenlands himself. You were confident, but your father could also be unpredictable.
“He’ll be there. I’m sure of it.” 
The pirate captain lifts his head, locking eyes with you. You try not to look as weak as you felt, as unsure as you felt, pooling all the remaining confidence into your face. 
He swallows before looking away, addressing one of the crew members. “How big are we talking?”
Jun looks up like he’s only just begun to pay attention, fumbling over the revolver in his hands as it thuds to the ground like a theatrical mistake, “What?”
His captain sighs before replying, “Explosion. How big does it need to be to blow up a naval ship with a King on it?”
The man brings a hand up to the back of his head, scratching his nape. “If it’s anything like this one, we’re gonna need a lot of ammo.” 
“Just enough to sink it,” you speak before you could decide not to. “Even better if they don’t realise it’s happening.”
He thinks for a moment. “We could plant it in the bilge somehow.”
“But how do we get on that ship? When they’re giving us a tour of the lower decks?” The man you recall as Seungkwan scoffs. 
“Throw a grenade on board somehow?” you hear one of them suggest. 
“Real subtle, Chan,” you hear another mock. 
The war room is in shambles before you know it, loud voices talking over threats to slit throats and to shove people overboard. The room is humid and it feels as though the light from the oil lamps are fading. You close your eyes amidst the utter chaos, rubbing the heel of your palm on your temple in an attempt to soothe the throbbing vein. 
“Enough!” The pirate captain has spoken and you have the urge to ask what took him so long. 
Tranquility once again and you almost thank the man. Before anyone can say another word, nausea begins to build in your stomach. 
It takes you a minute to realise the room was spinning and that you weren’t completely losing your mind. The ship begins to rock harder as the seconds tick by, everybody in the room seemingly still as they perceive the change.
“Batten down the hatches,” the pirate captain says to no one in particular.
Chan is the only one who moves to the door to leave before he’s interrupted. 
“All of you. Those clouds weren’t looking too nice up there, we’ve got a storm on our hands.”
By everyone he surely did not mean you, because as the room rushes out and you hear the thuds of boots clamouring up to the main deck, you’re left alone with the captain. Yet again.
It’s becoming increasingly difficult to keep steady, and you wonder how he’s able to remain balanced while on his feet. It isn’t long before your chair begins to slide as well, the legs croning as they slip on the hardwood. You spring up on instinct, hands coming to the bolted down drawing table to stabilise yourself. 
The pirate captain seems unphased, moving the curtains on the far end to try to get a glimpse at where the water breaks. He steps like he knows exactly where the evermoving floor would be, barely glancing below to gauge his footing. 
“Shouldn’t you be up there?” There’s effort in your voice, your grip on the table as hard as ever as the ship banks to a hard left. He barely grabs the wall in support. 
“Huh? They can figure it out themselves, they’re big boys,” he grunts.
“Your big boys were at each other’s throats a moment ago,” you grunt back, stumbling at a particularly forceful lurch. 
“If you weren’t so ill prepared they wouldn’t need to use their brains, that’s always dangerous,” he shoots back. He’s on the other end of the room, pushing the unbolted cabinet back in its place 
“I gave you a job and it's up to you to see it done, I’m not—ah— I’m not supposed to be planning at all!” 
“Are you?” He’s turned to look at you know, mouth hitched in a snarl as his forehead reflects a light sheen. “Because trying to murder a—”
“Trying to murder a King isn’t a normal task,” you finish for him in a hiss. “Yes, as you’ve reiterated a million times.”
“Great, so you know!” Sarcasm is a deadly look on him, you realise as he walks over from the cabinet to where you were in the middle of the room. The waves have given in, the rocking becoming significantly slower. “Now do you mind telling us about a plan that actually has better odds?”
Your white knuckles have relented, the hands that gripped the table coming loose as you stare back at the pirate in defiance. “I should just hand you over.”
“It’s sweet you think you’re in charge here,” the grit in his voice is evident. “This isn’t your turf anymore, miss princess.”
“You don’t trust me, and you don’t give me reason to trust you—ugh.”
The waves seemed to have decided she hadn’t had enough just yet, this particular lurch sending you hurtling backwards into the wall, back hitting the hardwood as the stable pirate himself loses his footing. You could almost believe you’d landed sideways with the gravity that’s lost its way beneath your feet. 
The chair you were once sitting on is hurtling towards you with a vengeance, gaining momentum as you simply watch it approach like a wooden bullet. A boot clad foot kicks it to the other end and you realise the pirate captain’s gotten hold of his bearings before you have. 
“What happened to being transparent with one another?” he huffs, breathless and wide eyed as he attempts to pull himself to his feet. 
There’s another lurch that sends you both skidding towards the table, just short of grabbing on before you’re hurtled into the cabinet that had moved again, and now slams back into the wall with the weight of the sea and two humans with a bang!
“Fine. You give me your ammo to blow up the bilge, let me on the ship with my dear father and one of you scoops in and saves me before I drown with him,” you yell over the sounds of clanging and banging of everything on this cursed ship, and the whooshing and thunders of the skies, winds and water. “And if I riddled the chances of you letting me drown with my father? Where does that leave me?”
“On the bottom of the seabed,” he deadpans. “But that also leaves me without my freedom.”
You find the opportunity to look at him for a moment, and he’s looking at you too. He looks away towards the door, already making moves to walk out and join his crew above deck. The conversation was over, and it was evident in your lack of reply.
Mother nature, however, sends another one in as a surprise and you're both sent flying to the other end of the ship, yet again. 
There’s a cushion to your blow this time as you find yourself landing right into the pirate captain’s chest, hand above his heart in your instinct to save yourself any more bruises. Between your bickering and the staggering of the ship, his shirt had flown open nearly down to his navel. 
Your eyes barely register the nasty scar across his left pec, instead moving upwards to lock eyes with him. It’s insanity, how you instinctively dart your eyes towards his half open mouth. 
“If you wanted me that bad, miss princess, you could’ve just asked.”
Whatever airborne drug that’d been willy nillying in your noggin seems to spin into a rage as his words register a moment too late. Clenched jaw and a vice grip on his shirt, you spit back. 
“I don’t ask for things. They come to me.”
There’s a crash above you and you realise the oil lamp that was suspended above has shattered, raining glass over your forms. 
Expect you don’t feel it, because he’s ducked over you and suspended his arms in the air to catch the crystalline. 
Before you can decide whether it was instinct or not, you hear a yell at the door.
“Captain! One of the—oh.” 
A barely balancing Mingyu, is staring into the now dimly lit war room, his captain and their supposed prisoner pressed against one another in a dark corner of the room. 
Your instinct forces you to take a slow step backwards. 
“Get back up,” he snarls, already pushing past you to stalk towards the door. He actually makes it this time, shoving Mingyu into the hall towards the stairs. 
Not as much as a glance back before he slams the door shut, leaving you in the tattered war room alone, shards of glass at your feet.
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THE STORM SEEMS TO have done its damage as it calmed itself for the rest of the morning and well into the day. 
One of them had come down and escorted you to your quarters, Chan telling you that you could keep it while the rest of them adjusted in the other cots and quarters aboard. Changing out of your ragged, days old clothes felt luxurious, the familiar scent of your quarters putting your tense shoulders at ease; or at least a semblance of such. 
Neither you nor the captain have attempted to speak to each other after the incident in the war room. Having berated yourself for letting your guard down enough, you chalked it up to the lack of food and sleep and put the matter to rest in some deeply buried chest in your head. 
For now you board up the door of your cabin (because you haven’t completely lost it), and burrow under the covers for some much needed shut eye. 
You aren’t sure how long the universe lets you rest, because unless you’ve slept all the way to the Green Islands the banging on the door seems incessant enough to warrant an arrest of its own. The sleep is slow to leave, and it’s hard enough to push an entire drawer against a door, the bleariness paired with whoever the fuck was outside the door isn’t making it easier to push it away from the entrance either. 
By the time you’ve wrenched the door open, you’re thoroughly annoyed, and met with a very alarmed Seungkwan. 
“Oh thank goodness, I was about to try opening it,” he says, looking genuinely relieved. “I thought you might’ve….anyway.”
“You weren’t trying to break in before?” you ask.
He only thrusts a tray of rations and water towards you, “Captain said to give this to you.”
Accepting the tray, you try to balance it in one hand with furrowed brows, “Oh.”
“Um. That’s it, sorry for waking you up.” He makes a move like he’s about to turn around and leave but falters. “If…if you need anything a bunch of us are on the main deck.”
And then he’s gone. 
You take it as your cue to shut the door, kicking one of the heftier pieces of furniture against it before moving back inside. 
When you peer up your tiny window, it’s late afternoon and the beginnings of orange on the surface tell you the sun is beginning to set. You decide it was a good enough amount of sleep. Setting the tray down on the smaller than usual desk, you find that these pirates do not have a knack for subtlety. Many of your letters and papers are haphazardly stacked and shoved into one corner of the table, very obviously sifted through. 
Not that you care too much, there was nothing awfully important that you wouldn't have told them yourself. Ripping off a piece of bread from the tray, you take pleasure in chewing as loudly and as open mouthed as you wished, plucking the parchment at the top of the pile to study. 
It’s another one signed by your father, not a question of your wellbeing in sight as he scrawls ink on paper all the incorrect things you did in the Southerner’s banquet last month. If anything, you were glad the stupid Admiral was away from your presence, his incessant habit of reporting your every breath and turn to your father was becoming too much to handle. 
This was one of his tamer letters, less insults attached to his criticisms but a pain to read anyway. You don’t brush away the crumbs that fall onto the parchment. 
There is not a diplomatic bone in your body. Perhaps move on from drinks and dessert and into more important territories besides the Duke’s son. Our kingdom needs a ruler that’s strong, not one that forgets where she is after a sip of brandy!
If you squint hard enough, it almost reads as a parent scolding a child for a spill, like regardless of what you did, he might just love you the same. 
You wonder how good of a mood he was in when he wrote this. 
Sifting through the rest of the papers you take a mental note of every reason he’s given you to believe that you’d be a hopeless ruler, a few years ago you even questioned why he kept you around before realising his contradicting intentions. As you read, letter by letter, you think of reasons you know are going to make you a better ruler, better than him and better than his stupid court of old men.
These pirates are a blessing, you think, and you aren’t about to let this chance from the universe drown in these waters.
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HOSHI ISN'T IN TROUBLE. No, he isn’t. On his butt on the sleek floorboards of the ship, his own golden dagger glinting in the sunlight as it's held in a threatening hold, except it isn’t in his hands. 
It’s pointed right into his jugular vein, held by some grimy sailor who considers himself something akin to a pirate. Perhaps the stench this sorry excuse of a crew carries around may be their idea of a criteria, but as Hoshi remains inches away from death, all he can think about is the atrocious fingers around his dagger, and all the scrubbing he’s going to be doing after this is all over. 
Mingyu had warned him, told him to take down the flag of the navy from the mast, the royal seal in the smack middle of the ginormous thing. He brushed it off. He wasn’t quite sure if he was tipsy, hungry or just plain exhausted when he made that decision, because he’d forgotten just how stupid some of these simpleton sailors could get. 
They were taken by surprise, their only weapons mops and buckets of soapy water as they were ambushed by some overlooked wherry that had suddenly thrown hooks over their railing and climbed up like uninvited sewer rats. 
In the initial confusion, interrupted mid-chorus of some pretty siren and her pirate prince, the first few intruders had simply crumpled over onto the slippery deck, a few slipping overboard completely from the suds and water on the wood. His crew, and Hoshi himself, could only stand and watch as the newcomers sabotaged themselves for a few incredulous moments before they gained their bearings. 
Chan and Seungkwan swang their mops right into the necks of a couple, sending them into the ocean without waiting for a splash. 
Hoshi slips out his dagger with practised ease, swinging the butt of the hilt over the head of another ambushing intruder, right on the head as he crumpled to the floor with a loud thud. He kicks him over for an indication of where he came from. No ink that shows an alliance, no brooch or jewels with a crest. 
New guys, ones that were clearly still learning the ropes. 
Hoshi’s crew had better senses than required for him to yell out orders, and it only took a few more disgruntled minutes to disable the remaining extra men aboard. 
“Where the fuck did these guys come from?” he asks no one in particular, mostly just annoyed that they were disturbed. 
Minghao, who’s peeking over the railing replies, “It’s a tiny thing. They either lost their actual boat or didn’t have one at all.”
He vaguely registers him making a jerking arm movement over the exterior before he hears a wail and a splash. “Disgusting.” Minghao holds his hands away from his body like he didn’t want it anymore. 
Hoshi’s mistake was keeping his guard down, because before anyone could warn him, the dagger that he held loosely against his hip had slipped out his palm. The next thing he knows, his neck is in some grimy sleeve’s grip, and the point of his dagger is lodged into his own throat. He holds his breath, afraid he might pass out completely from the stench alone. 
“Not a move.” He sounds like a boy more than anything, but his grip indicates a harsher life. “Everybody into that fishing boat. I’ll throw this one in when you’re done.” 
He sounds unstable, but that only makes him more dangerous. Hoshi can’t try to wiggle his way out of this one, one wrong move and it’s the end. His crew can’t do anything as they stand with broken mops and empty buckets as their weapons. 
It was stupid of him to even allow himself to be cornered like this, not when he’s weaselled his way out of more dangerous situations with more ease than this. 
His crew looks at him, and he can only close his eyes in encouragement. He watches as Jun steps over one of the defeated bodies to reach the hooks that’ve lodged into the railing. His movements are slow, and he can tell he notices the unhinged nature of this boy that he doubts is barely over 17. 
Chan follows, then Seungkwan as Jun double checks the integrity of the ropes. He’s stalling. 
“Hurry!” It was supposed to come out as a threat, but it sounded more like a plea from the boy. 
And then Jun stops completely, his eyes trained on Hoshi. His eyes are wide, his grip on the rope so tight he can see the whites of his knuckles from the other side of the ship. 
No, he wasn’t looking at him, he was looking behind him. Before he can register, there’s a loud bang of a gunshot, and Hoshi feels the body of his captor slump against his back, his dagger dropping to the ground with an ominous clang. He falls with him, turning over to push the dead weight of the body off of him. 
There’s smoke in the air when Hoshi looks back and it takes him a moment to realise who just basically saved his life. 
You stand in your nightgown, shawl over your shoulders, and a revolver, Jun’s revolver, clenched tightly in both hands. It remains frozen in the air, hovering as he takes in your face. Eyes wide, mouth open slightly, the colour drained from your face. 
Hoshi scrambles to get up as the rest of the crew swarm both him and you. He grabs his dagger before anything else, looking back to see a bullet lodged in the back of his captor’s skull, blood pooling the deck. 
He looks back at you shoving the revolver back into Jun’s hands eagerly, like you didn’t want to feel the warmth of the metal any more than you wanted to make that shot. 
He looks back at the cooling body, and then back at you, an undeniable warmth overcoming his chest. 
You just saved his life.
“Are you alright?” he hears Chan ask you. You nod slowly, and then quickly. 
“Where did you find this?” Jun asks. 
“Uh, in one of the quarters. Downstairs. I went down because I thought it’d be safer, you were handling it and I didn’t want to get in the way. But then…all your weapons were there.” 
Your voice sounds airy, like you were in a daze. Hoshi comes to the stark realisation that this may have been your first time with a weapon, and then even more horrifying, your first kill. 
“I’m sorry, I just thought it was getting out of hand and—” 
“It’s alright,” Seungkwan says. He watches as you let him lead you back down the stairs below decks. 
It was like the shock turned you into a different person, complacent, less defiant. Seungkwan clearly had more of an emotional range, because it certainly took Hoshi too long to realise you might be on the edge of panic. 
Hoshi doesn’t say a word as you disappear, the smell of gunpowder from the singular shot wafting through the deck. He doesn’t realise he’s staring into space until Mingyu interrupts. 
“Should we—”
“Throw them overboard,” Hoshi says, voice flat. 
“But, this one seems like he’ll come around. We could question him and drop him off wherever next—”
“He’s a shit seaman, if even a pirate, he’s got what came for him. Throw. Him. Overboard.” Hoshi is out of breath, yet grits the words out through clenched teeth. “All of them.”
Hoshi slips his dagger back into its sheath at his hip. All he can think about is your blown pupils and you in your nightgown. All he can think about is how they were almost bested by a child. All he can think about is how you had to make that final shot to save his ass, that he couldn’t do it himself. 
Mingyu senses his mood and asks no more questions, simply pushing the remaining bodies out into the water. He vaguely registers Minghao sending the men a prayer into the sea. Mingyu’s already trying to get the stupid naval flag off the mast, stripping off his jacket and disposing of it at the base to start climbing. 
Chan pushes a clean rag into his chest, and he looks down to receive it and notes a tinge of blood at his collar. Right, he was bleeding. 
They go back to cleaning, except it’s a lot more silent. 
Jun walks back up to help, but this time he has both of his clean, black revolvers strapped at his hip.
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THERE WERE FEWER PEOPLE in the war room this time around, the captain sits beside Mingyu, Jun and Minghao as they attempt to sketch out a crude rendition of your discussion. The pirate captain does nothing but use his dagger to pick under his nails, barely speaking as he listens in on the conversation. 
Not that you cared, you and the rest of his crew seemed to get along better than you did with the captain anyway. Saving the man’s life seemed to hold no weight to him, not that you expected it but a ‘thank you’ would have sufficed. 
“Keep the grenade til the last minute if it makes you feel better, so you’ll know I’m not trying to sink the wrong ship,” you sigh as you clarify. Minghao doesn’t reply as he scribbles the details. Jun rolls his eyes at his meticulous nature. 
“We need to port in the next couple days if I’m gonna finish this grenade in time,” he says, looking at his captain pointedly. 
“We can stop at Port Ash,” Hoshi says. 
Port Ash was no man’s land, which also meant it was every man’s land. 
Being mostly occupied by pirates and other thieves and criminals it was considered dangerous territory for anyone who didn’t speak in lies, deceit and fists. This crew would fit right in, but you worry for yourself. 
“That’s not gonna be till a week and a half,” Mingyu interjects. 
Jun frowns as he looks at Mingyu and then back at his captain, “I can’t wait that long.”
“We’ll pick up what we can at Hasry when we stop for rations,” Hoshi replies. 
“But—”
“Deal with it. There’s nothing we can do about it.”
Jun looks like he wants to say something, and Mingyu has the good sense to interject again to ask more questions about the plan. 
“How much manpower do you think the king’ll have?” he asks.
You sigh, crossing your arms as you lean back in your chair. “I have no idea. Could be five, could be fifty.”
“Not even an inkling?”
“Considering how he wants the lot of you gone, it’s probably on the larger side. But…” you pause. 
“But?”
“He’s smart. Always seemingly one step ahead. I wouldn’t be surprised if he catches us blind.” 
“I know enough about that,” Hoshi snorts. There’s a glint in his eye that suggests something, but you don’t press.
“I was wondering…we should probably change course even if it takes us longer. My father might intercept—”
“Did that. Didn’t take the obvious alternative route either,” Mingyu replies, and you note that he looks proud of himself. “We can take our time too, the ransom note suggested we took the way past Scarsfield.”
“We should be careful of other boats anyway,” you say, gulping down a lump in your throat before continuing. “Those other sailors could’ve been my father’s men too, for all we know.”
“They were on a smaller boat too,” Hoshi adds, he looks like he’s making connections in his brain. “What’re the odds they were dropped farther back into a smaller boat?”
There’s a pause as you absorb what he’s implying. “Are you saying they’re on our tail?”
“I wouldn’t doubt it,” he says, exhaling heavily through his nose. “He’s done it before. It was a sorry attempt then and it was a sorry attempt now.”
“How did you shake him off last time?”
The panic in your chest is barely there, but as you register the possibility, you find yourself breathing increasingly heavy. 
“Circling farther out before going the opposite way so we wouldn’t cross paths.” He shakes his head. “But we can’t do that now, not when we can’t afford detouring. The port stops are as late as I’m willing to go.”
“What if we skip Hasry? It’s our more obvious stop, we’ll just stop at Ash later,” Minghao suggests. 
“We’ll starve, we’ve got no food,” Hoshi gruffs.
“Portwater?” 
“Too far.”
It’s silent yet again as everyone racks their brains. You feel very useless all of a sudden, you didn’t know the names of harbours or ports this far out.
“We’ll just port at Hasry and be extra careful, there’s nothing we can do.” Hoshi sighs at his own ultimatum. 
He gets up and walks around the table to the door, “I’ll update the others.”
You glance as he walks past you, his figure leaving a gust of wind in your face. He smelled nice, which was saying something considering the state some pirates are known to be in. As he brushes past, your gaze is met with the other side of the war room, an empty oil lamp bracket on the wall. 
The memory of the storm floods your mind, and suddenly your cheeks are burning. Snapping your head back, you're thankful they’re all absorbed in the papers and plans on the table, oblivious to the memory that’s flashed before your eyes. Mingyu was the one who saw you in your compromising position, and you didn’t know him well enough to decide whether he’d do something as dumb as dish out his captain’s ‘affairs’. 
You file out the room with them. They don’t escort you to your rooms, make sure you stay in one place, restrict your wandering anymore. Perhaps they’d realised you weren’t actively attempting to sink the ship anymore, or that if you jumped off the edge it didn’t matter to them that much, but you appreciated the space anyway. 
Briefly catching Seungkwan filling Mingyu in on the past couple hours they’d been below deck, you turn over to catch his eye. He waves, and you wave back. You don’t realise what you did till it already happened, noting the smile on his face as he did it. You choose to move past it and find the captain. 
There was something you wanted from him. 
There’s no trace of him on the main deck, eyes scanning the area to no avail. A movement from above catches your peripheral attention, eyes squinting as you crane your neck up to look. Hoshi has leaned his back against the railing of the crow’s nest, arms crossed, visible hand occupied with a brass telescope that glints in the sunlight. 
He isn’t using it though, merely gazing at the horizon with furrowed brows. As though he could see better without the device in his hand. In the few minutes that you’re looking at him, you notice the muraled, multicoloured shirt that blows with the wind, a kaleidoscope of beiges, greens and reds. The crop of his blonde hair blends in with the clear blue-white sky. 
Briefly wondering how he’s managing the impossible heat, a hand coming over your own eyes as a visor, you simply look back down. Seungkwan is next to you. You aren’t quite sure how he got there, but he stands next to you, hands on his hips, a pleasant expression on his face. 
“Is there anything you want when we dock? We’re trying to make a list,” he says. Somehow, the prospect of pirates making lists boggled you a little. It was a little jarring, not quite sure why he asked a captive anyway.
But then again, were you a captive anymore?
“I don’t think so, no,” you reply and then juggle whether you should push it with another measly formality. “Thank you for asking.”
“That was your first kill, wasn’t it?”
“What?” You knew what he was talking about, but you weren’t expecting him to bring it up in the moment when he’s asking you about restocking supplies. And especially not with a smile on his face. 
“That day, when you used Jun’s revolver to shoot the lad.” 
A kid. He was a child. 
“I…yeah I’d never done it before.”
“What made you do it?” he asks, remaining as nonchalant as ever. 
“I—I don’t know, it looked like there wasn’t another option,” you say, not quite sure of yourself either. 
Why did you shoot him? You’d never laid hands on a gun before, your father forced you into the category of archery and crossbows, not that you were very good at them either but it was also because you simply wanted to spite your father by being plain bad. It worked, because it only took a year and a half and an arrow straight into his study window to retire from the sport entirely.
Even then, your targets had been apples, barrels and tree trunks. Never a person. 
You’d heard of what people tended to do in pressuring situations, and with the way the aftermath unfolded, it didn’t seem like you made the wrong decision to pick up that revolver anyway. 
But the feeling lingers, the same one that you saw as you gazed into the back of the boy that held the captain of this ship hostage. It felt wrong. Like watching the pirate captain cornered was a picture you couldn’t quite make sense of in your head. 
So you pulled the trigger. 
“In any case, we’re glad you made that decision. We all owe you for it.”
You don’t know what to say to that, so you gulp, inhale and press your lips in a line. “That’s a lot for a pirate to say.”
“I know.”
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BY THE TIME YOU manage to corner Hoshi it’s already the next day, and you’re only a couple hours away from docking at Hasry. 
It’s an anxious ordeal, the crow’s nest constantly occupied by someone trying to catch sight of a possible tail. There was no sign, yet anyway. 
“I want to learn to use a knife.”
He was piling coiled ropes when you’d said it, pushing the heap to the side, sweating through his clothes. There was a flash of confusion on his face as he registered you. 
“Why? So you can slit all our throats in our sleep?” he grumbles as he pushes a barrel against the railing. He’s too aggressive, and the force has the splashback soaking his clothes in freshwater, tsk-ing audibly. 
You ignore the way his previously loose shirt now sticks to him, ignore the way the droplets land on your boots when he shakes his sleeve. 
“We’ve discussed what we might be up against, I don’t want to be useless when the time comes.”
“Seemed pretty alright with that revolver.”
“Anyone can shoot a gun,” you say, getting the sudden urge to fidget with the front of your shirt. You try to make your voice sound as declarative as possible. “I want to learn to fight. With a knife, with a sword, with my hands if I have to.” 
He doesn’t say anything as you look down, fiddling with the tassels on your shirt. Your excuse was the sun and the way it was beating down on the deck this afternoon, getting tired of squinting to simply look straight. When the silence prolongs you look up to push further, juggling with bringing up the fact that you saved his life and that, as Seungkwan very graciously told you, he owes you. 
The sound your throat makes is unhuman, because when you look up the captain's soaked shirt is now off his back. 
The skin is near white from the glare of the sun, remnants of glazed water that’s somehow made its way to his back as well. The dip in his shoulder blade reflected a dark marking, one that you couldn’t make out. 
He wrings it as you can only watch, mouth gaping like a fish. Hanging it over one of the suspended ropes to dry, he mutters as he walks to the lower decks. 
“Fine,” he says nonchalantly. “We’ll get you a knife at Hasry.”
Hasry. Right. 
The port is quiet, at least as quiet as a port can be. There’s not much to see but fishermen both returning and leaving for another week's worth of fish supply. Minghao manages to pay and convince the harbourmaster that they were merchants on their way back to the Kingdom, stopping for supplies. The naval make of the ship helped, and then the crew pulled lines and ropes secured from masts in ways you couldn’t quite decipher. 
You assumed you would stay on board, yet when Chan knocked and brought you some roughspun clothes from the town, you were informed you’d be joining them. 
Hoshi deemed it safer, keeping the rest of the crew on board while he, along with you and Seungkwan, ventured into the village to get what was needed and leave before the sun fully set. If they really were being followed, the ship was going to be the first thing they seized. 
Pulling the grey shawl further up your head, you attempt to look as blended as you could, Chan pressing down your shoulders to force you into a slouch. 
“Stop walking like you're important,” he had said. 
“I’m a princess,” you snapped back, but he wasn’t listening, only jabbing at you to keep the haughtiness out of your tone before it caught somebody’s attention. 
The town was a quaint little place, something out of what you were read from storybooks, reminiscent of the paintings that you’d run past on the walls of the palace. The streets cleaner than you’d expected, the faint scent of baked goods in the air mixed with, onion soup, was it? In any case you were glad you were past the fish market, the yelling and the stench nearly sending you to the pavement, gagging. 
When Hoshi returns, you and Chan are looking at a jewellery stall that’s selling necklaces, bracelets and anklets that look like rosaries; colours of deep ocean blue and sunset pinks, beautifully vibrant against their grey canvas backdrop. 
You can only observe from afar, instructed to not interact with anyone while he was gone. Hoshi was gone to get food supplies, but returned empty handed. Systems were in place, that the crates would be on their way to the “big naval ship” at the docks for the rest of the crew to receive.
“They said there was a blacksmith up this alley” Hoshi says, eyes also trained on the uncharacteristically colourful jewellery stall, but he does nothing to move towards it. “We can get your knife there.”
“Knife?” Chan asks, confused. 
“Miss princess wants to learn to fight—”
“Don’t!” Chan hisses, eyeing the men in black uniform that patrol the market from the shadows. 
“It’s fine, they’re too far,” Hoshi says. “Let’s get this over with.”
You do find a blacksmith, an older man with a greying beard and bloodshot eyes that presents Hoshi and Chan with an array of knives and daggers. Either they were able to give an excuse, or he gave no mind to the third woman that trailed behind, the blacksmith continued to deal with the two men as they haggle over prices. 
There’s another seller a ways away, and she’s laid out her goods on the floor on what looks like old drapes. It’s a woman, not much older than you were, unravelling a long string of leather cord. She cuts it, strings a charm through and seals the frayed end with a candle flame that burns at her side. 
The curtain she’s laid her accessories on is patterned with bright colours, and you realise you can’t make out any of it from where you stand. 
Glancing behind you, the men are still occupied with their bartering, seemingly forgetting of your presence. Taking a step back, you pretend to skim through the neighbouring stalls, glancing breezily at woven baskets, layers of folded fabric and towers of painted ceramic cups. 
You stop before the laid out array of more necklaces and earrings, scanning the ground. The vendor looks up and gives you a big, crooked toothed smile, urging you to come forward, to take a look at what she has to offer. 
Something does catch your eye, and you immediately crouch down to see it better. Picking up the necklace from the charm, you let the gold and red rest on your fingers as you study the make. 
“That one’s new,” the woman says. “Practical too.”
The small brass letter opener that’s looped through the cord looks like it could do its job just fine despite its miniscule size. 
“It’s quite popular among the busy merchants,” the vendor speaks in a rough tone, almost like she had a perpetual sore throat. “Easier to use this instead of looking for those bulky ones in their neverending drawers and—and in their cabinets.”
She lets out a laugh, “Quite pretty too.”
You stare at it for a moment, “How much?”
“Ten coin.”
You sigh, setting the necklace back down onto the cloth. Standing straight, you turn to walk away before she yells again. 
“I’ll do seven!” 
You consider whether you should speak, but you also doubt you’d be recognized just by the sound of your voice.
"I don’t have coin,” you rasp. 
“How about that pretty thing on your finger then?” she asks. 
The ring on your middle finger is a simple band of silver, a coming of age present from your father’s court a few years ago. You stare at the band, worth boatloads more than what this woman in an alley was offering you.
But you find yourself moments later, middle finger empty, and pocket lined with the long leather necklace with the miniature letter opener charm. 
By the time you return to the blacksmith’s shop front, Chan is handing the man his coin as Hoshi holds an object sheathed in fabric. They turn around just soon enough to make it seem like you never left. 
“Why are you standing so far away?” Chan asks. “Come closer.”
You listen, moving closer to the both of them as they get ready to make the trek back to the docks where the ship waits. 
“The crates have probably been loaded too,” Hoshi says, his hands suddenly empty. You assume he’s pocketed the knife somewhere. “Let’s hurry and leave before—”
“Princess?”
It was your mistake that you turned around to acknowledge the title, something you realise as soon as you register the man that spoke to you. 
Henley was a stout man, dressed even now in the finest suit of a berry colour, hair white as a ghost. There was no reason for a merchant so rich he had ties with the royal family to be wandering in a harbour market, but he also had every reason to be here. 
If it was the recognition in your eyes, or the fact that they were just being smart, you feel one of the pirates wrap their fingers around your upper arm and pull you to walk away from the alley. 
“Princess!” Henley yells and you cringe at his volume. People are looking now, and you briefly wonder why you aren’t running yet. 
Your heart is pounding against your chest so hard it’s deafening any other sound in your ears, you still don’t know which one has a hold of you, but you let them guide you into a speed walk as you exit the narrow alleys of the main market. 
The shawl above your head is pushed further down, shielding your face in a shadow. There’s nothing in your mind other than Clarence Henley and his rich suit, his gold pocket watch, his trimmed, white hair. His face that you only ever saw within palace walls, always accompanied by your father. 
There’s a good chance you’re shaking, because you can feel your body rejecting it with the pain in your palms that you can only consider to be your own nails pressing into your hand. 
The stench of the fish market helps, bringing you back from your daze as you finally register the ground beneath your feet. It’s only a few more minutes till you reach the docks and you’re suddenly being pushed up the ramp that leads to the main deck of the ship.
It’s immediate comfort, the familiar brown of the floorboards, the scent of saltwater and warping sounds of the sails. You’re led to your quarters, where you finally let the makeshift hood and cape fall. 
“Are you alright?” 
Snapping your head up, you’re met with Seungkwan and his concerned gaze. 
“Oh, erm.” Your voice sounds…not like your own. 
“It’s okay, breathe.” It helps, because it really did feel like you’d forgotten to breathe. 
“We’re leaving in just a few, everything’s been loaded. Nobody followed you on board, don’t worry.”
Right. You were on the ship, you were in your quarters with some of the most feared pirates on the seas. 
The way Seungkwan is easing you through your gulps of water suggests legends in the mix, but you appreciate it regardless. 
When you’ve come round, feeling more like yourself, the ship has already left Hasry Harbour, sailing into the deeper waters of the ocean. 
“Captain said they couldn’t run because it just would’ve been more suspicious,” Seungkwan informs you as you nod. “Did you…did you recognise him? The man at the market.” 
The thoughts come flooding back, the colour of his suit, the jarring nature of a man of such wealth standing in a rundown port market. 
“He’s a merchant, one of the wealthiest. A friend of my father’s. If he even has any friends.” 
You pause as you think about the near blackout you’d had, the way the panic more than boiled over, taking over your senses and your rationality. 
“I think…” you trail off. “I think I just felt like it was the end. I finally had an opportunity to get rid of that tyrant and seeing something that was from home, felt…it felt like I was going to end up right back where I started.”
Seungkwan doesn’t say a word as you digest your own words, accepting your own fear that had rendered you useless in the time it probably mattered most. 
“Do you feel better now?”
“A little,” you answer. 
“Maybe a weapon can help.”
At the door stands Hoshi, a stern expression on his face as he looks directly at you on the bed. In his hands, the same fabric covered knife he acquired at the market. 
You know that you asked for this, but the jolt in your stomach still makes itself known. 
“He’s right,” Seungkwan says, lifting from his chair. “Blades have a way of calming you in any case.”
You note the glinting hilt of Seungkwan’s sword sheathed at his hip, remember Hoshi’s own daggers that he seems to be emotionally attached to. 
Lifting your head back to Hoshi, you ask, “Can we start now?”
He smirks. 
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ALL NIGHT, THE STUPID pirate captain had you taking swings at the air. 
“Your opponent’s baked a fruit cake by the time you were done with that swing,” he comments, continuously unhelpful. “Swing faster.”
It’s nighttime, nothing but a few oil lamps on the floor of the deck keeping you and Hoshi in the light. Your shoulder burns, your forearms are liquid, and your non-existent opponent remains forever stronger than you. 
“I’m done,” you huff, thoroughly spent. Crumbling to the floor, you bring your non-dominant hand up to your aching shoulder in an attempt to massage it. 
It’s been a while, the moon high up in the sky when you finally decide to quit it for the night. He lets you go without a fight, and you doubt you’d have the energy to if he decided to do it anyway. 
The following day, he’s tweaked his regiment a little, and you find that you’re finally swinging at something tangible; him. 
He leaves himself open, an invitation to strike wherever you want. You feign for his shoulder, but he sees you coming from a mile away, already deflecting your flattened blade that comes for his thigh.
“Don’t look where you want to strike, you’re giving yourself away.”
Furrowing your brows, you dislodge your knife from his own and back away again. He’s immediately cocking a brow, telling you to come at him again. You go for his middle, slashing your knife in an arc as he simply deflects. 
“Come on, find a pace,” he grunts. 
Coming down with your knife again, he blocks you but this time with his forearm, pushing you back by the wrists. It was a battle of strength, as he forces your wrists down. He was stronger than you, and there was no way you could push away, so you dispel your own force. He stumbles from the sudden forward force, and you pull away to take a swing from above. 
He recovers faster than you thought he would, already coming up when you’re ready to swing. He raises a hand to deflect, half a moment too late as your blade slashes across the heel of his hand. 
There’s a brief splash of red against the blue backdrop of the sky, and you gasp on instinct, immediately moving away. 
There’s an apology ready on your lips, mouth gaping as you watch him inspect the wound. You don’t get to say anything because he beats you to it. 
“Deep enough,” he comments, like he was inspecting a painting. “Keep this up and you might actually be good by the end of the week.”
Oh. 
“Alright,” he says again, moving back into position.
“Are you gonna wrap that?” you ask, referring to the bloody hand. 
“It’s fine, I’ve fought with worse,” he says. 
You blink as you reluctantly get back into position, bracing yourself as you continue to look at his hand dripping blood onto the deck. 
“You’re getting the hang of pacing, but you need to start considering your blade as an extension of yourself—JESUS!”
You’ve swung at him faster than you ever have, putting everything into that single tug of your knife. He wasn’t expecting it, still talking over your glances at his palm. He had his guard down, and you took the chance. He ducks on instinct, but it could’ve been another scar for him to remember if you’d made it. 
You stumble as he circles you to the other end, flattening his blade on your back.
“Nice try,” he says. “Really nice try. But you never turn your back to your opponent.”
“I lost my footing,” you defend, but even you knew that wasn’t an excuse. 
“And I just stabbed you in the back. And now I’ll have to present your corpse to your father and hope he’ll accept it and give me my ship. We all lose.” 
The pressure of the blade leaves your back and you're suddenly left looking stupid despite doing something somewhat right. 
“You’d just swindle another poor sailor off his boat and move on,” you say. “You’re a slippery thing.”
He has a smile on his face that borders a smirk yet is innocently mischievous enough. It’s a strange sight, bloody hand, relaxed face. There’s a clean-ish rag on a nearby closed barrel that he uses to wipe the excess blood off his hands. 
“I keep going because I live without regret.”
You can only roll your eyes as a scoff leaves your mouth before you can stop it. You simply turn around, settling to the floor, going back to massaging your still aching shoulder. That last blow only made it worse.
“I don’t regret things, miss princess. Ask me why.”
You remain silent. 
“Come on,” he urges, that silly smile remaining on his face. He’s washing the wound now with freshwater from the barrel.
Sighing, you ask him, “Why?”
“Because I don’t ever do things I’d regret.”
“That insinuates you think before you act.”
“Right-O,” he declares, wrapping another torn cloth on his cleaned wound.
“Funny,” you answer. “Because I dont think I’ve ever seen any hint of light behind your eyes.”
He turns around to you, sheathing his dagger at his hip, a dangerous look in his eye.
“You’ve looked into my eyes?” 
The clench in your jaw must have been visible, or the look of disgust on your face might’ve been apparent just the same, because the pirate captain simply laughs out loud before retreating towards the stairs to go below deck. 
“I’ll send Jun up, practise with him.”
You wanted to send your knife, point first, hurtling into his retreating form. 
Never turn your back to your opponent, my ass. 
But you don’t, mostly because he’d probably manage to deflect that too. So you resort to sitting cross legged on the deck, staring at your dagger while waiting for Jun to meet you upstairs. 
Hoshi said he picked the knife based on a number of things you’d already forgotten, something about carbon steel and having a good grip. It’s quite pretty, you’ll have to admit. It’s plain silver, but the reflection it makes in the sun makes it difficult to look away. You’d gotten used to the handle and how it fit in your palm, Hoshi assured you that the more you used it, the more the hilt would mould into your grip. 
Jun stomps onto the deck, revolver-less and instead equipped with an array of knives that he deposits on the deck. 
“Should’ve picked a plain old gun,” he grumbles as he holds one of the longer blades in his hand. “Job’s done and you don’t need to get within ten feet.”
“Don’t have to reload a knife, do I?” you comment, taking the first swing. 
Jun may have an affinity for guns and explosives, but his handling with a knife was still nothing below an expert level. He pushes your arm off before spending you into a ballroom spin, flatting his blade at your collarbone. 
That could’ve been your throat.
“No, but by now I could’ve shot you, thrown you overboard, and been on my way to a nap,” he says in your ear, before releasing you as you get back into position again. 
That could’ve been your throat.
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THE FOLLOWING WEEK PASSES with your days and nights muddled into a strange mixture of swinging knives and taking breaks slumped against the deck of the ship, unmoving. 
It’s a particularly hot day, the giant glowing orb beating down on the deck with no mercy. Not that it stops you, because the sun remains unwavering, high in the sky, and you remain unwavering in your wide legged stances as you lunge for Chan again. 
Chan’s entire being glistens in the afternoon light, the beads of sweat that he wipes off his forehead only seem to reappear every couple minutes. His clothes cling to him like a second skin, taking long breaths through his teeth amidst the difficult, humid air. 
You don’t doubt you look the same, one hand in your hair suggesting you just took a bath in your own sweat. But Chan seems accustomed to the heat, and while you weren’t, you couldn’t deny your growing comfortability with it all. 
It’d been a while since your meal, hence your sluggish movements were slowly turning increasingly sharp, having cornered Chan multiple times in the duration. You’re determined to not be the one to call for a time out, so you find yourself pushing beyond what you’ve been doing for the past week or so. 
There’s a particular punch of heat at your sides, and you can feel yourself slowing. 
One deep breath, a slow exhale.
It’s all clangs and reflections of knives, tiny droplets of blood as evidence of both of your tiny, unintentional nicks and cuts. You’re succeeding, pushing the man further and further back. 
“You’re getting sloppy, aim for the blade not my tendons,” Chan seethes through his teeth. 
“I’m trying,” you grunt through the effort. 
You’re set back for a couple minutes before you go back to pushing. Your lungs burn, your entire side is numb from exertion, but you give more than your body is made for, and you succeed—kind of. 
Chan back is against the railing of the deck before he realises it, and perhaps it was momentum, or sheer exhaustion, because one minute you’ve got eyes on Chan’s hands and his blade, and the next he’s gone. There’s a loud splash, and you suddenly realise what you’ve done. 
You just pushed Chan overboard. 
You scream before you can help it, dropping your knife with a loud, resonating clang. Pushing against the rails, you peer down to find a giant ripple on the surface of the ocean, whipping your head around to the stairs leading below deck to find Mingyu and Hoshi bounding upstairs. 
“What? Where’s Chan, he was supposed to be with you,” Hoshi asks, whipping his head around the deck. 
Your wide eyed, horrified response from near the edge tells them all they need to know. 
By the time Chan’s pulled himself on board, soaked and dripping like a wet poodle, you’ve sat yourself the furthest away from the railing to prevent any more trouble. He drops onto the floor, creating a human sized puddle. 
With the way the two men had merely sighed and threw the ladder over the exterior of the ship, you concluded that this must happen enough for them to be beyond the point of concern. It only adds to it when you see Mingyu nudge Chan’s unmoving but heaving body with the toe of his boot, giggling at his expense. 
You make your way over, crouching beside Chan sheepishly. 
“Sorry about that, got carried away.”
He’s sitting up now, quickly pulling himself back to his feet and you spring back from your crouched position. 
“It’s fine, happens.” He has a small smile on his face as he says it and you conclude that he may find the situation laughable as well. 
“Now, Chan,” Hoshi says, not letting Chan move into the deck any further from the railing. “What’s the first thing you learn about brawling on a ship?” 
Chan looks slightly embarrassed as he answers, “Be aware of your surrounding—ARGH.”
Hoshi pushed him into the water. 
You jump as you run back to the rails, watching as Chan’s head re-emerges at the surface after his second dip in the ocean. 
Just as you’re about to say something to Hoshi, he’s stuck his head over the railings as well, yelling at Chan in some singsong voice. 
“One time was a mistake, twice is a problem!”
To your left, only adding to your horror, is Mingyu doubled over in his fit of laughter, heaving as he giggled uncontrollably. He’s also holding onto the railings for dear life, but clearly, for reasons completely different from yours. 
The situation resolves itself as both you and Chan learn a few lessons of practicality. Deciding you’ve done enough damage to your body, you announce that you’d be retiring for the day. 
“Thank goodness, I was about to confiscate that stupid knife, I’ve been hearing clanging in my sleep,” Mingyu mumbles as he pulls the rope ladder back up to the deck. 
In any case, you have the urge to take a dip in the ocean yourself, feeling increasingly uncomfortable in your drying sweat. 
Grabbing a clean washcloth, you fill a bucket of freshwater from one of the barrels on deck and lug it into your quarters. The soaked washcloth does wonders for your overheated body, feeling enormously better after a change of clothes. 
Your scalp, however, remains itchy and burning, so you decide to go back up to the main deck, hoping to manoeuvre a hair wash situation without needing to mop the floors of your quarters. 
Refilling the bucket of freshwater, you set it down before scanning the empty deck for another spare bucket. You try not to scoff at the unwavering determination of the pirate crew to keep the deck unoccupied for such long increments, that last altercation teaching them absolutely nothing. You wonder how they’ve managed to survive for so long like this. 
Shaking the thought, you use the spare bucket as a way to deposit your waste water as you pour cups of clean water over your aching scalp. The feeling does wonders for you, letting the water wash away weeks worth of grime, sweat and stress. 
You’re almost back home in your quarters when the whiff of your hair salts hits your nose, the ones you’d packed for yourself, closing your eyes for a moment as you rub them into your scalp. You don't expect the clench that seizes your chest, but you falter when it happens anyway.
It’s nostalgic, and you hate it. 
It smells like the palace, like the incense your ladies in waiting always burned, the stench of citrus having made its way into your bones from the years of exposure to the scent. It’s too much as you blink back tears, owing them to the suds that have made their way into your eyes. 
The sting helps bring you back, opening your eyes to an orange glow and the waft of seasalt  hitting your nose. You’re more aggressive when you dunk your cup into the bucket this time, too aggressive as you feel the half full bucket tip over and spill water all over the deck as you cause yet another accident. 
Cursing loudly, you try to blink away the suds from your eyes, soap still in your hair as you try to figure out how to get another bucket of water without ruining your fresh change of clothes, mentally kicking yourself at not thinking this through.
“You realise we have to make do with that freshwater till we make it to Ash?” 
Wet hair still in your hands, you attempt to peer up at the voice, only to find Hoshi standing above you, arms crossed over his chest with a funny expression on his face. Huffing, you grumble out in response, “Can you just get me a fresh bucket?”
“Hm, I don’t know, can I?” He removes his gaze and begins to pretend looking over at the horizon and the setting sun. 
Chiding yourself for even bothering to ask, you reach for the tipped bucket yourself, deciding you’d figure it out yourself if this dumb pirate was choosing to be of no help. But before you could latch your fingers on the handle, the bucket’s snatched away. 
At first you think he’s being funny, taking the bucket away to watch you struggle even further. “You—”
Except you watch him as he dunks the bucket back into the barrel of freshwater, lugging it back to where you could reach. “Try not to paint the deck with it this time, I’ve already mopped twice.”
The thank you freezes on your tongue, and for some reason you can’t say it to him. So you make a scene of splashing into the bucket with vigour, sending spills over the rim and taking mild satisfaction in hearing him sigh at the sight of more mopping. 
He’s already gotten hold of the worn mop by the time you’re done as you remerge with clean hair, wringing your own mop of hair to deposit the excess water. Straightening out your back, you take hold of the spare cloth you brought along with you, patting your hair with it. 
The sun remains in its mission to cast its golden glow, but only illuminates Hoshi’s grumbling form as he mops up all the water you’ve spilled. 
“You know, I should really be making you—” He halts as he makes eye contact with you, your hands still occupied with patting your hair dry, flicking the wet strands. You have a rebuttal already prepared, waiting for him to finish his jab. 
“Make me what? you grind. 
You can’t make out the look on his face, somewhere between constipated and on the edge of a yelp, he keeps staring at you. You note a slight trickle of water making its way down your neck and chest, bleeding into your shirt as yet another water stain. 
“Nothing,” he says, to your surprise. 
And with that uneventful climax, you trudge back down to your quarters, a strange brewing in your chest.
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[AN]: congrats you made it to the end of part 1!!!!! reblog ur thots and opinions or send me an ask, id love to hear the turmoil in ur minds lol
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theblueflower05 · 1 year
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First Love/ Late Spring
A/N: I had no right to listen to Mitski and write for Neteyam but here I am. I’ve been working on this on and off since December but finally decided to get serious and post it. Hope you guys like it!
Word Count: 5k+
Warnings: Masturbation(F receiving). Breeding Kink if ya really dig. Angst. Talks of self doubt and insecurity. All Characters are aged up 18+.
You are responsible for cultivating your own online experience, please do not interact if any of these tags are triggering to you. Minors DNI.
Summary: Neteyam has passed his Metkayinan Iknimaya, and is now free to choose a woman. Why did you ever think he would choose you? Neteyam X Na'vi Reader.
Series Masterlist(All parts can be found here)
Next> Crawling Back to You(Part Two)
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One word from you and I would jump off of this ledge I’m on, baby.
Tell me don’t so I can crawl back in- Mitski, First Love/Late Spring
As the beloved niece of the reigning Olo’eyktan, in your life you had wanted for nothing.
Had spent the last nineteen years in isolated bliss. The island of Awa’atlu and your tribes familiar inhabitants were all you knew. Your life moved to a steady beat, as sure as the morning eclipse. As rhythmic as the tides.
And you had been content, really you had. Too busy to be bored. Too beloved to truly dwell on the gap. On the absence of a mate no matter how much your Uncle; Tonowari urged you to accept one of the many offerings of courtship. Lonely maybe, but happy.
Useful. Focused.
Ever since the Sully’s arrival, you have felt anything but.
Descending from the skies on ikran back, they left plumes of sand in their wake. Shook up everything you had ever known as they stood there on the beach, adrift. Out of place, different then anything you had ever seen with their dark skin and thin tales. That morning had been a whirlwind of harsh words and brief but tense negotiations.
So much change had happened in such a small amount of time that it was hard to wrap your head around-
The leader of the Sully Tribe, Jake, had begged Uturu for his family. And ever benevolent, your Uncle Tonowari had granted it to them.
Overwhelmed by crowds, you don't recall much more of that day except for the desire to run away. To escape the strained aura’s of the hesitant clans people and the exhausted newcomers. You’d gone to away, eager to get back to your herbs and tinctures. To the safety of familiarity to digest the entire situation.
You’d been stopped in your tracks, rooted in place, by a pair of striking golden orbs.
A stare like none you’d ever known. His eyes resonated with you. Plucking a cord n your chest that echoed throughout the rest of your body. You’d never felt anything like it. Never been so affected by a stranger.
Never been so affected by anyone.
Even now, months later, thinking of Neteyam that look he’d given you on his first day here makes you hot. You dream about it, about him often. He plagues you, has taken up permanent space in your subconscious.
You wake most mornings to phantom touches. To his voice ringing in your ears and an empty bed mat that feels too cold.
This morning is no different. Your eyes flutter open with a gasp and your heart is beating madly in your chest.
It's early. You have only moments before you will be expected to wake and start your daily routine. Really, you should’ve been up by now-
Instead you lie in your corner of the family mauri, the privacy curtains pulled around your bed as you shoulder into the woven blankets. Your hands slip down- lower on your belly and into the dip of your tweng.
Between your legs you’re hot, soaked and pulsing as you always seem to be these days. Your clit swollen almost painfully as you press your fingers to it, rubbing firm little circles as you search for some kind of relief. Humping harshly into your small hand, cupping your sex desperately as you recall Dream Neteyam.
He’d pinned you to a tall palm, your belly pressing against the rough bark as buried his nose in your hair. All panting breaths and wandering hands.
“You’re so beautiful”
“I’m right here”
“Let me have you, I have to have you”
Dream Neteyam says all the things you want to hear as he ravages you. He’s sure footed, cocky in that way that you knew he could be. He’s pushy and needy and you’d give him anything if he asked for it, Eywa all he had to do is hint that he wanted it-
“Spread your legs for me, sevin ”
You bite your lips bloody, your fangs digging into them as your thick thighs clamp shut around your hands and your pussy spasms. You want to cry out as you come. Fight the urge to whine because it’s not enough, you’re still so empty.
Neteyam’s name is always on your tongue as you come down from your self induced high.
“Y/N? My Child, are you awake?”
There’s no time to bask in the afterglow, you wrench your hands away. Wiping the mess on your blankets as you shoot up straight-
“Yes? Yes. I’m coming, i’ll be out a minute” You try to keep your voice from breaking and just barley succeed.
Ronal who had peeked a head into the empty mauri isn't convinced, but accepts it anyway “Hurry now, we have to get going. The tide pools will be filling and we need to restock the sea-tsam(kelp like herbs), you haven't even eaten breakfast yet. Up!”
You only release the breath stuck in your chest when she’s scurrying back out of the home- one of these days you’re going to get caught.
Your people are free with their sexuality, there’s no shame in pleasure whether it be self inflicted or given by another. But it would make those pesky questions arise- if you’re so needy, Y/N- why do you refuse every eligible bachelor that comes your way?
You huff, thinking about that very thing as you get ready for the day. Bruising through your long hair almost violently as you chew it over.
If you need to be fucked so badly, why are you three years into adulthood without a mate? You don’t even have a possible suitor- your friends are having babies, building lives, and you’re still living with your family.
It used to be that you we’re hyper focused on your role in the clan. On your training as part of the Tsakarem. On preparing Tsireya for the day she reaches adulthood and takes over her mother’s title.
You had always been family oriented, and the clan had accepted it-
But now there were whispers. Inquiries, never spoken to you but always about you. It’s an oddity that such a pretty young woman with such high standing is choosing to be alone.
Is there something wrong with you?
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
The only thing that’s wrong with you is your inability to focus on the most mundane of tasks as of late.
After a quick breakfast, you’d taken off. Determined to knock the long list of chores down.
You’d collected herbs until your fingers hurt and the satchel slung across your chest was full to the brim. You’d tended to the Elders, and checked in on the mother with newborns, still so fresh to the world that they’re connected to their Sa’nok kuru, constant Tsaheylu necessary at such a young age.
Healing isn't always glamorous, and while you’d much rather be mixing potions and sketching in your journals- you check fevers. Change chamber pots. Kiss the scraped knee’s of young ones.
You’re supposed to be heading back to the Healer’s Mauri, the large hut where Ronal waits for you-
But instead you get sidetracked.
It’s all you seem to do these days.
Lounging in the soft warm sand is so much easier then running around the village.
You’d come across your cousins who were circled by Roxto and the elder Sully’s, and it hadn't taken much convincing for you to tag along on whatever little adventure they had planned for the afternoon. It had led you to one of the smaller isles, a tiny thing that was mostly white sand beaches and deep rocky cove tunnels.
Lo’ak and Ao’nung practicing their breath holds, taking turns weaving through the underwater caves. The two had went from going for each others throat’s to thick as thieves, and your glad. Lo’ak’s troubled, but he’s not trouble. Not the way that your cousin's other asshole friends are.
Roxto and Neteyam wade through the crystal clear shallows, hunting for clams that are abundant at this time of year.
You’re sat with Kiri and Tsireya, the three of you staying in the beach and giggling about current clan gossip. Chattering endlessly.
Neteyam’s shoulders are broad and glisten in the bright afternoon sun. You can barely tear your gaze away from him. Hungrily, needing to glance back every few seconds-
“The celebration is in less then a month's time” Tsireya states, a small grin playing on her lips as she takes in the scene.
She knows about your feelings for the eldest Sully son, you’d confessed them to her in a fit one night. Unable to keep them caged in your chest anymore. She can understand the appeal- her own eyes had been glued to the family since the arrival.
What she can't understand is why you wont tell him- or at the very least why you’re being so damn shy about it. You had never been this demure before.
“I know, the preparations have been a real pain in my ass” You reply, turning on your side to face her. Arm bent at the elbow, chin propped in your hand. “Tonowari has me assisting with getting the ceremonial mats woven. It’s not fair”
“I think he just wants you to be…a more active participant this year” Tsireya chooses her words wisely, ignoring your side eye “It’s sweet”
“It’s annoying” you hiss, eyes rolling harshly. Your tail swishes behind you, a firm pat on the sand.
“This is the celebration that’s held for the hunters. The ones that pass their Iknimaya’s?” Kiri asks, intrigued. She’s inquisitive and you’d assured her early on that she could ask you anything, that you’d help her understand the customs of your people.
“Yes and it’s so much fun. You’ll see, the Hunters come back from Motnaui(ritualistic hunt) and we spend the day roasting their catch, thanking Eywa for her abundance. There’s dancing and singing- “ Tsireya’s eyes sparkle as she talks about it, glazed with nostalgia.
You let her rant a bit more before cutting her off, “And mating. Most of the hunters will stake their claim on any courtships that have been started”
Because yes, it is a celebration for the newly joined adults of the clan, but goes hand in hand with the fact that it is their first chance to choose a mate.
“We have something like this back in the forest, it's the start of Fertility Season right?” Kiri verifies and you nod. “Does it coincide with the rains here, too?”
“Mhmm, most newly mated pairs will spend the week or so tucked away…-” Tsireya’s cheeks get red and you roll your eyes.
“Coupling” You interject and she shoots you a look that has you tittering. Awe, your sweet young cousin, still a year away from her own Iknimaya. Innocent and shy when it comes to such topics.
Kiri doesn't look scandalized- she’d come to adulthood back in the forest. Though she hasn't chosen a mate she had partaken in many of the festivities.
“Yes, coupling” Tsireya continues. “Its all beautiful really, its my favorite time of year. Right after the return of the Tulkun of course”
Its nice listening to your cousin's version of the celebration. You think that yeah, your own view of it all used to be mostly the same. That was until you’d reached adulthood, and had spent the last cycles without a mate of your own. This week that Tsireya found so beautiful had just been wet for you. Yourself and other unmated , able bodied Na’vi took on the duties of the disposed clan members.
It was an honor to take care of your people while they were vulnerable.
It was embarrassing to have not found a mate of your own yet.
You wonder if this year you’d spend the week in the rain again.
“You don't seem excited” Kiri whispers and you force a smile onto your face almost instantly, not wanting to come off so extremely transparent.
“It’s not that I’m not-”
“Y/N hasn't mated yet”
“Obviously Tsireya, thank you for pointing that out” you deadpan at the girl but she continues on, not phased in the least by your attitude-
“But I do think that will change this year”
Kiri perks up, big eyes interested, a brow arched “Really? Has someone caught your eye? Every time any one even tries to start courting you, you give them the cold shoulder”
“That’s not true, I’m nice about it” you defend your actions “I just haven't been interested in any of their offers”
“‘Their’ being half of the unmated men in this clan” Kiri’s sarcasm rivals your own, you flick a small shell at her forehead.
“It hasn't felt right and Eywa wouldn't want me to settle. '' The words taste condescending as they roll off your tongue, you don't blame them for scoffing at you but it's true.
If you had accepted an offer in the past, you wouldn't be free to follow your hearts desire now…your eyes flick back to the shore. Back to the broad shoulders.
“I’m sure whoever you choose will be honored,” Kiri chuckles. “Surprised though, probably. I overheard a couple of Elder’s making bets that you’d make another suitor cry this year”
The peel of laughter that Tsireya lets out is shrill and loud,
Roxto and Neteyam’s heads turn, far out enough now that the surely cant hear the conversation but can hear the shrieks of joy. Roxto grins and signs something that you can't quite make out and Neteyam gives a small wave.
You can feel the big stupid smile on your face, it’s no surprise that Kiri acknowledges it.
“You didn't answer my question. Is there anyone in particular that you have your eye on?”
You gnaw on your bottom lip. You’d been wanting to run it past her for weeks. Desperate for her insight but too embarrassed to muster up the courage and ask for it.
“Tell her, tsmuk’tu” Tsireya urges gently.
“I have been hoping that…Neteyam might choose to court me. After his Iknimaya” You admit it, carefully watching her for her reaction. Your own ears are pressed to your head, your fingers winding around each other nervously.
“I was wondering why that idiot was going through his rites again” Kiri nods, like she’d found the missing piece of a puzzle.
One that she wasn't willing to share with the group.
“What’do you mean? If he wants to be a hunter, he has to” You point out the facts, the law of the village.
“Well yeah, but I mean look at how our dad did it. He didn't jump through all of the hoops, he just tamed his Skimwing on his own time. My brother has been adamant about wanting to be apart of ceremony”
You ingest Kiri’s words greedily, letting them expand in your chest. It’s hope, the fragile kind, the scariest kind.
“Maybe he just wants to prove himself as a hunter. We’ve heard his skill is legendary to the Omiticaya” you suggest and Tsireya pushes at your shoulder, shaking her head.
“Maybe” Kiri shrugs her shoulders “But mating is important to Neteyam. He’s always wanted a big family, I think he really idolized our parents' marriage. Mom said he must’ve taken an interest in a mate if he’s making such a big deal out of being a recognized adult here”
A big family. Neteyam wants to be a father.
The thought is heady. The seed has been planted in your head and you know there is no way that you will ever be able to dig it out.
“Do you think that-”
You're cut off by booming laughter, by clatter and chaos. Who else could it be but Ao’nung and Lo’ak coming back from the caves, they had the worst possible timing. You shoot daggers at your cousins fat head.
“What are you girls whispering about over here?” 'Nung teases as he drops next to you in the sand,
“That would be none of your business” You snipe, “Skxawng ass”
“Why so hostile, cuz?” Ao’nung starts “I was the one who invited you out here? You don't want to spend time with little ol’ me?”
“I spend too much time with you as is. I was hoping you had drowned down in those caves so I could get a break- NUNG!” you squeal as your cousin shakes his head, wringing out his wet hair all over you. The water is shockingly cold against your sun soaked skin.
Soon enough, Neteyam and Roxto come in from the waves, baskets full of multicolored shells. More than happy to share as they join the small circle.
“You had such a bountiful catch!” Tsireya applauds, happily accepting the oysters that Roxto offers.
You’re awkward around Neteyam on a good day- there's something so intimidating about his beauty. So tall and angular. But today? After the admittance you’d made to his sister? You can barely look at him.
You feel heavy and clunky and ugh, why does he make you so nervous? You’re playing with your hair, twisting the thick tendrils around your fingers idly when Neteyam turns to you.
“Do you want some?” He asks, already prying the tough shell open with his knife.
“Oh, yes please. They’re actually my favorite” You grin, and at least your voice doesn't project all the nerves you feel.
“I know” He hands you the oyster once he opens it and you try not to pay too much mind to how his fingers brush yours.
“How would you know that?” you slurp at the rich juice, grateful.
“Roxto was telling me about it” He says simply, already working open another shell to hand out.
“Oh yeah! Y/N remember when you ate so many of these that you got sick at dinner! I’ve never seen someone puke that much, it was never ending” Roxto chuckles, igniting laughter from the group.
You wince, the memory is not a particularly good one and you don't enjoy reliving it. Especially not in current company. You can feel your cheeks heat intensely.
“It was so bad! You got it all over dad’s lap and he didn't know what to do” Ao’nung adds hysterically “He just started panicking- picked you up by your tail and tossed your ass outside”
Tsireya breaks, giggling behind her hand and Kiri all but chokes. Lo’aks shaking his head good naturedly as Ao’nung and Roxto are in stitches- the only one who doesn't laugh is Neteyam. No, instead he gives you a gentle kind of smile, before going back to his task of shucking.
You’re only the butt of the joke for moments more before it ping-pongs to Lo’ak, who has almost cut one of his odd five fingers off in the process of prying open an ornery shell.
“Oh! Look brother, how pretty” Kiri points out the large blush colored pearl that Neteyam had almost swallowed.
“That’s good luck!” You grin “They don't usually get that big”
Huh. Good luck you say?” Neteyam picks it out of the shell, holding it between his thumb and pointer as he examines how it shines in the sun. Beautiful…
You’re frozen when he reaches out, the pearl in the palm of his hand.
“Here” he offers it to you.
The purple flush that completely takes over your face crawls down your neck too. You're completely flustered by the simple gesture of good will.
You should tell him that you can’t take it- that he should give it to Tuk, his little sister that loves making jewelry. Instead you’re hungry for anything, will accept any scraps of himself that Neteyam will give to you.
“Irayo” you beam as you accept the pear, tucking it away in your satchel for safe keeping. “I love it!”
He just gives you another one of those ever soft boyish grins, his eyes pools of liquid amber.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
As the weeks go by, there’s a certain light to you. A bounce in your step,
“Your aura has changed” Ronal informs you of the fact as the two of you sit in the Healers Mauri, plumes of heavy incense filling the space with fragrant smoke.
She’s far into her pregnancy now, but that has never stopped her from completing her duties. The salves she mixes with an expertise that comes from years of trial and error are potent and coveted.
Your lips quirk into a private smile as your fingers continue their threading. Working on a personal project in between your chores. “Has it really?”
She assesses you, her turquoise eyes all knowing as she takes you in. You’re a woman grown now far from the small child she had taken in with her husband all those years ago. In theses last few months you have blossomed, like a flower unfurling. She had an inkling of why-
“You are thinking of accepting courtship this cycle, yes?” It’s not a question, but a statement. One she already knows the answer to.
“I am” you whisper. “If he decides to pursue me, that is”
The comfortable quiet is back, both of you focusing on your respective tasks. You’d always been content just to bask in your Aunt’s presence.
“The Sully boy would be a fool not to court you” Ronal breaks the silence bluntly and you really should've had expected that she already knew.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
Where dread usually lives in your heart at this time of year, lies only excitement. Joy, that fragile hope as you prepare for the festival. Anyone who knows you can see the change, you throw yourself head first into ceremony prep. Spend hours sitting with Tsireya eagerly sowing together new pieces of clothing for the festivities.
You sing as you tend to your house work, sweet little tunes that your family is surprised to hear.
Tonowari is beaming, endlessly happy that you are going to give a member of the clan a chance. He’d been questioning your self induced isolation for years, and was eager to see which of his warriors had stolen your heart. Ronal refuses to tell him even though he knows she knows,
“It is not mine to share” his wife rebuff’s every time he questions.
As the day of the Iknimaya draws closer you try to make sure that Neteyam knows that you are open to courtship. You spend a decent amount of time with his family anyway, Tsireya and Lo’ak always connected at the hip and Kiri growing into a close friend.
You ask him about his training, tend to any wounds he may aquire diligently. Laugh at his bad jokes, and listen to his stories of home. He misses the forest, you can tell. You selfishly hope that there isn't a pretty Omaticayan girl waiting for him.
At dinner, in the largest communal mauri, filled to the brim with clans members who are all but vibrating with excitement for the close looming festivities, you navigate the people.
In your hands, a large plate made from a recycled shell piled is high. Fish roasted over the fire, steamed rice and root vegetables that you had harvested yourself.
You’d watched Neteyam along with a handful of other training warriors limp into dinner late. They look tired and worn down.
He’d plopped down next to his family without getting himself food, and that just wouldn't do.
“Jake, Neytiri- I see you” You greet his parents as you approach. The sit close together, always intertwined in one way or another.
‘He idolizes our parents marriage’
You understand Kiri’s words as you watch Toruk Makto and his mate, as you appraise their close bond.
Jake grins, Tuk in his lap. Greeting you right back, easy to conversate with. Neytiri is quieter, hard to read. Intimidating, just like Neteyam who favors her so much in looks. Still the older woman signs the greeting back to you.
“You look really rough” is not what you meant to say to their son. Neteyams brow bones rise and you could kick yourself. Definitely would later.
“Thanks, I feel it” Neteyam responds with a tired chuckle.
Instead you laugh too, albeit awkwardly, trying to remedy the situation “What I mean is, you didn't get yourself food- and I know how exhausting training can be. Here, please eat. I’d hate for you to lose strength this close to your rite”
He accepts the plate of food graciously and you try to ignore the heavy feeling of eyes on you. His families, the clans. People have noticed you, have noticed this act of service. There’s only one thing it can mean.
“Irayo Y/N, I appreciate you” he thanks, making room for you on the log that he’s sat atop “Would you like to sit with us?”
“Very much so- but I promised Elder Raou’wal that I would help him back to his mauri. His legs don't work like they used to, and I don't want him to fall again-” you curse your nature, the fact that you offer your help so freely.
All you want to do is take that seat, so close to Neteyam that your thighs would press against one and others.
“That is very kind” Neteyam soothes “It’s okay, another time”
“Yes, another time” You know you sound like an idiot. You feel like an idiot. Standing before him and his family uninvited.
You need to make a quick escape, overwhelmed by all of the attention. “Please, get some rest before tomorrow. I’ve had to tend to over worked warriors all week”
Neteyam’s grin…is something else. Something not so sweet. Something that makes you flustered, that he’s looking at you like that in front of his parents, in front of the tribe. “Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Will you be there, tomorrow?”
“Of course I will” your response is quick, eager and it just makes that look on his face more intense.
“Good. Then I know everything will go well” his words make your heart beat so loudly your ears ring.
You don’t even know what to say, can barley keep your cool as you utter goodbye to his family, all of them quite obviously amused as you begin to scurry away.
You know the blush is burning up your whole face, that everyone can see your feelings as clear as day.
But-
You can’t leave him like that. Not with him facing is Iknimaya in the morning, with all of its promises of danger.
“May Eywa be with you, tomorrow and always” you give him the quiet blessing, truly hoping that the great mother looks over him.
He softens, physically. All of him slumping, as though you had put a balm on a jagged cut.
You don't wait for a reply.
Tonowari watches the exchange from his place at the head of the room,
Oh.
That is who had caught your eye, the warrior that had broken your resolve.
He shares a look with Ronal, his eyes comically wide and she laughs lowly at him.
“Ah my love, you have always been so slow”
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
The Iknimaya rituals go as they always go, a long day full of young, strong hearted Na’vi eager to prove themselves. Most of them don’t succeed, at least half of them will need to wait until the next cycle to attempt it again.
Your family is at the center, you stand proudly behind Olo’eyktan Tonowari and Tsahik Ronal as they guide the young clan members through the rite of passage. Tsireya beside you, knowing that next cycle it will be her and Lo’ak attempting their own rites. Ao’nung cheering on young hunters that he had trained himself.
You love all of your people, the Metkayina one beating heart under Eywa’s watchful eye- yet you can't tear your focus away from Neteyam.
Your eyes are glued to him, and him only. The entire time. You watch, anxious and in awe. He’s so strong, all lean muscle and sharp mind. He mounts his Skimwing on the first try, much to the surprise of his peers. The people cheer him on, whopping loudly.
He’s beautiful, capable and skilled. He’s…stolen something from you. Abducted your soul, enthralled your thoughts in a way that almost felt intrusive.
You watch as the son of the first becomes a son of the sea, a man in both the Metkayina and Omiticaya tribes. A feat that almost none have accomplished.
The Motnaui is tradition, the freshly rited hunters will join the seasoned on a days long hunt. The time in the open ocean solidifies their bond to the tribe, their place that they have earned. Their chief will join them. Tonowari is eager, ecstatic for the time he gets to spend with his new hunters. With his ever growing tribe.
Everyone gathers to see the hunters off, so much love filling the crowded beach. Your people a buzz, tearful. Joyous.
You trail your fingers over the colorful Lei that lies around your neck. It matches the floral wreath nestled atop your head; the orchids are vibrant shades of fuchsia pinks and sunset yellows to represent your family.
They come in all shades, neon greens and baby blues, lilac purples and vibrant reds.
They are traded between your people at this time of year. Elders give them to children, sisters to their brothers. Tonowari wears many around his neck, the visual representation of how beloved he is to his clan.
To give a Lei can be friendly and platonic, sure. Especially if it is one of the dozens that are made just to be handed out- if a person wears multiple for clear decoration and celebration purposes only.
It can also be a very clear invitation for courtship- or at the very least consensual coupling. If a woman takes her lei off her own neck and presents it to a man, it is a sign of ownership. Marking that the specific male is taken for the duration of the fertility season.
You need to give Neteyam yours before he leaves, you want him to know that he has you. That you are his- and that you want him to be yours. That you will wait for him as he hunts and when he returns, he can have all of you.
You’re trying to find him in the crowd, your eyes scanning for the familiar dark blue skin that stands out so shockingly amongst your people-
Neteyam is with his family, all of them exuding proud energy. His mother cups his face in her lithe hands, his sisters hold onto his arms. His father pats his shoulder and his brother stares at him like he’s hung the stars.
You don't want to intrude on the moment, but you have to catch him before he leaves-
It’s like watching a horrible accident, like being witness to carnage that you just can't stop.
Seychelle, a clans member two years your junior, is beautiful. She’s a skilled singer and the daughter of a high ranking fisherman. She’s tall and shapely with pretty eyes, and its her first cycle as an eligible adult. As a woman grown who is available to mate.
She walks right up to Neteyam and his family boldly. Unafraid or ridden by anxiety like you always seem to be. All flirty smiles and fluttering lashes.
You’re too far away, can't hear what she says but you wouldn't want to anyway. Your chest is caving in and you feel like you can't breathe, your ears ring with the lack of oxygen.
You could challenge her. You have a high standing in the clan. You have first choice when it comes to mates,
But instead you just stand there. Bare witness to her taking off her bright orange Lei and slip it around Neteyams neck. He accepts it without a fuss, grinning and you can see his mouth form the words “thank you”.
Your nose burns and tears prick threateningly at your eyes but you know you can not let them fall. Not here.
You do what you do best;
You run away.
Not bothering to explain your exit to anyone, you probably couldn't form words around the lump in your throat anyway, you run as fast as you can. The world feels very far away, like it exists without you in it.
Your family mauri is empty, everyone's still at the beach and you don't even bother making it to your bed. You collapse right inside the entrance as the tears finally over take you and your eyes flood over.
What were you thinking?
How had you read this whole thing so wrong?
Your mind is dangerous, cruel in its confused, hurt state. It assaults you and you sob into your hands. You feel stupid now, in the special clothes you'd donned. Your hair twisted meticulously-
He had never been interested in you, you’d taken his innate kindness and skewed it. Neteyam had just been nice to you and you being the simple minded girl you were- had tried to force it into something more.
You curse yourself, curse your heart. Curse that fragile hope that you had clung to so desperately.
You cry until you feel sick, your eyes swollen and back tight from sobbing. You’re dizzy and tired by the time you crawl over to your bed. You don't even get under the covers, just stare blankly at the wall of the mauri as tears roll down your cheeks.
Who knew one person could produce so many tears? You wonder when your body will run out. You don't know how much time passes, only aware that darkness starts to fill the space as the evening eclipse arises.
“Oh, YN” the silence is broken by your cousin's soft voice.
Tsireya had wondered where you had gone, had been confused about your departure until she clocked Neteyam with a Lei around his neck that was quite obviously not yours.
“I’m sorry” Is all she whispers as she slips into the bed next to you, her arm winding around your middle.
It starts a whole nother round of tears. Of crying, mourning what you thought you could have.
“I-I-I’m so s-stupid” you stutter, snotty and muffled. She shakes her head, tears of her own starting to form as she holds you tighter.
“No, don't say that cousin. You’re not stupid” Tsireya soothes as she pets your hair. It hurts to see you in such a state. This had to be a mistake, she had been so sure of Neteyams feelings for you. Everyone had.
You shake your head, because you know you are. You knew you had little chance and still you’d paraded yourself in front of him like an idiot.
Never again, you vow to yourself.
To your shattered heart.
Wow, okay I didnt expect this to be so big, but I got so caught up in Metkayina Lore building that I kind of got sidetracked. Safe to say 90% of this story is going to be canon divergent. All of this Lore is my own creation and not Mr. Cameron's.
I have to give a shout out to two authors in the Avatar fandom that have inspired me the most as I write this.
@tiredmamaissy has really carved out a niche when it comes to the sexual nature of Pandora. I love the way she portrays Na'vi relationships and if this story leans a bit A/B/O its because I cant see the Na've not going to Heat's/Ruts now. She's just so good.
@loaksky when I tell you that reading her work makes me want to hone my craft, I mean that shit. She is a wordsmith in a way that you don't see much anymore. I am obsessed with how she long hand story tells and I def feel inspired everytime I read one of her fics. Queen of will they wont they/ slow burn.
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lovesickeros · 10 months
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☆ glimpse of divinity
{☆} characters lyney, neuvillette [ separate ] {☆} notes cult au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 0.8k
× neuvillette
The first time he sees you strolling the streets of Fontaine with a glint of wonder in your eyes, he thinks he must have finally lost it. He has to rub his eyes and check a few dozen times before he's certain that you are, in fact, real and not some figment of his imagination conjured by a lack of sleep and overdose on caffeine.
..Though now that he gets a better look, it's not quite the same. Like a smudged painting, he thinks. Still, the uncanny resemblance to the visage of the Divine One has him lingering around the area just to stare a little longer, a deep, devoted sense of affection bristling beneath his skin.
And then you turn sharply on your heel, staring directly back at him, and he feels a sudden wave of embarrassment and something akin to shame.
Archons, he'd just made a fool of himself, hadn't he?
He quickly turns away, clearing his throat and hiding his embarrassment behind his hand. Though it does not seem to deter you, the soft tap of your shoes growing closer until you were peering up at him with wide eyes.
"..Hello." He offers awkwardly, a little too stiff and a little too formal, but you don't seem to mind in the slightest. He knows that your appearance, your vague similarities to the Divine One are mere coincidence, but it does not stop his heart from skipping a beat when you smile up at him. "I– apologize for being so uncouth and staring, it's just.."
His voice trails off into a breathy exhale, his hand twitching on his cane as if he wanted to reach out and touch you..but he restrains himself in time. He could not make a bigger fool of himself – he would never hear the end of it from lady Furina.
"You remind me of someone."
He decides, readjusting his hands on his cane as he bows his head for a moment is a show of genuineness, though it must look awkward with how stiff his body feels.
Yet he cannot help but want to get closer anyway, to hear the silky lilt of your voice grace his pointed ears. This is as close as he will ever get to the Divine..he is a weak man, he finds, as he offers a hand to you.
"I understand if this is a bit..forward, but would you mind joining me for tea?"
× lyney
He is a master magician – his entire work is built on keen misdirection and sleight of hand, but even he stumbles for a minute thinking he'd seen an illusion in your warm smile and striking features. Almost an exact copy of the Divine One, yet not quite..
Still, it's enough to pique his interest – enough, too, to give him the confidence to slip into your conversation with ease, all smiles and the slip of a card between his fingers.
"Hello, stranger – I don't think I've seen you in Fontaine before," He laughs, his hand reaching around to rest gently on your opposite shoulder, his voice a ghost of a whisper in your ear. "Say, could I interest you in a bit of magic?"
He perks up at the way you seem to light up like fireworks at his offer, a spark almost like recognition in your eyes he brushes aside – he's quite well known, after all.
"Good! Now, if I may just borrow your attention for a minute.." He grins, stepping around you and turning sharply to face you, his hand outstretched with a deck of cards in his hands, face down. "Let's start simple, shall we? I shan't overwhelm my audience – pick a card."
He holds the cards out again, his features twisted in something like awe, though he hides it well.
His heart flutters at the briefest of glances of your hand against his as you pluck a card from his hand, and he quickly retracts it, reshuffling the deck with a broad grin and a wink.
"Do your best to remember it! If you could return it to the deck.." The card is placed back in it's place amongst the rest, and the magic begins!
"Now then, let's see..hm," He hums for a long moment, the silence filled by the constant shuffle of cards until he suddenly plucks one from the deck, flipping it around for you to see. "Is this your card?"
He frowns when you shake your head, almost pouting, before he lights up again and steps forward.
"Ah! How foolish of me, I missed it..it's riiight here, see." He winks, reaching behind your ear..and pulls free a card from seemingly thin air. He flips it around for you to see again, and when you tell him it is, in fact, your card, he flips it around again.
And before you can see it, he's holding a rainbow rose between his fingers, his hand outstretched as he bows.
His eyes glint with a sort of wonder as he looks at your features, his smile widening a fraction.
"Well, dear stranger? Did you enjoy the show?"
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rebo-chan · 3 months
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I've been thinking about KHR's bonds. (When am I not?) And I've thought about the way that Amano likes to write bonds. You'd be pressed in this fandom to find people who don't care about at least one area of it whether that's the Vongola kids, Varia, the Arcobaleno, Kokuyo, etc. After a conversation with my best friend, I realized it's kinda interesting how Amano has somehow successfully created so many realistic bonds for such a diverse cast. Like we see so little of them, but you'd be pressed to convince the KHR fans that the funeral wreaths don't adore Byakuran.
So there's the thing right? Katekyo hitman reborn is the shonen that is 100% about the power of friendship. Like yes other shounens use it and its a meme for a reason, but they also have other stuff going on. Other motivations. Other theming. Meanwhile Tsuna growing up and becoming a better person for his friends /is/ the theme of Reborn. That is the entire motivation for the series. There's no grandiose scheme where Tsuna will save the Mafia world and be the chosen one, though the series tries to put Tsuna in this position to his chagrin.
As evidenced by the scene in Future arc, where Tsuna is unable to light his ring because he is so stressed about sending everyone back to the future and fighting this unknown powerful enemy. And so Reborn walks up and tells him "You're not a hero. Stop trying to be. It's not like you. What were you thinking about when you first lit your flame?" And he responded with "I just..wanted to protect Kyoko." Reborn satisfied with that answer then asks, "And who do you want to protect now?" And Tsuna answers with "Everyone." And then his ring lit up. That's the core to the series!! Right there!! All it ever was 403 chapters worth of these characters just wanting to protect each other.
So, in talking to my best friend, he pointed out that outside of daily life arc, these characters don't really have moments of vulnerability towards each other. Frankly, it seems the cast of KHR is allergic to being vulnerable. There aren't that many scenes of "you guys are important to me. I love you guys." Y'know stuff that tells the audience yeah these guys are close. And when Tsuna TRIES to have these moments, like with Reborn, Reborn pretends like he's asleep and doesn't hear Tsuna say that he's going to save him. Yet somehow, we all understand that these characters love each other so deeply.
And that made me realize it's all in the dialogue and actions, rather than inherent bonding moments. It's Reborn clenching his fist when Tsuna is getting gravely injured by Daemon. It's Yamamoto and Gokudera having a fight about Gokudera not being worthy of being Tsunas right hand man as Gokudera doesn't care for the other members of their family. And Gokudera never addressing this again, there's no verbal indication that Gokudera even heard Yamamotos criticism. Yet later during Merone invasion, Gokudera reaches a hand out to catch Yamamoto when they're getting separated. And later, he protects Ryoheis unconscious body as he is fighting Gamma to the death. It's Byakuran saving the funeral wreaths from their miserable lives and them protecting him even when he begins to strike them down. It's the way Mukuro runs to assist Chrome when she is in danger, or swears up and down that he is not allied with Tsuna but also feeds the Vongola information about Byakuran. It's the way Squalo refuses to cut his hair for his vow to Xanxus, or Mammon's gratitude towards Xanxus's willingness to fight for them. It's Ken ensuring that Chrome is always fed by giving her the snacks and candy they bought. These characters don't need bonding moments, their love for each other shines through their every breath and finger twitch.
And I think that's a fascinating way to write a connection on Amanos behalf. And it was done so well we can't even argue that these characters all love each other.
The way I summarized it is most characters love each other because they spend time together and improve together. KHR characters spend time together and get better together because they love each other
Anyway that's it for this one. Please let me know any dialogue/actions that drive you guys mad about these characters 👀 I know this series is full of them.
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wannaeatramyeon · 10 months
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Fem!reader Isekai in Lookism ?
Anon, so sorry I'm answering this exactly 3 months later. You're my last request from May and I was soooo close to deleting it because I have had exactly zero ideas. Then I got partly inspired by @honeyhotteok fic here and now I'm running on less than 3hrs sleep in work and it's your fault. Oh yeah, and I've completely twisted the ask as well. It's not even close. So all that wait was for nothing 🙇🏻‍♀️
Adventures of YOUR part time job in the Lookismverse
G/N. You work the graveyard shift in a convenience store. You meet bizarre characters on different nights. Part 2
There's something wrong with people your age these days.
Everyone seems to be either in a gang or up to some shady shit. Seriously what is going on. Is this all a big joke that only you aren't in on?
Just the other day you swear you saw a group of guys in boiler suits punch through some walls across the street. Like what the fuck? What did the wall ever do to you? And then someone apparently called Tabasco starts chanting something about Burn Knuckles and oh my fucking god it's 11pm please shut up.
Oh course you never said that, you still have some sense of self preservation.
And how does anyone even have the time for all this. Between school and this part time job, you barely have enough hours to sleep.
You miss Daniel, the coworker who you haven't seen for a good year but used to gossip into the early morning with. He always seemed a bit nervous and fidgety when you voiced your concerns and observations, but you just assumed he was a nervous and fidgety kinda guy.
There would have been some fun stories to share. Instead now you work the graveyard shift on your own.
.
.
Case in point, the guy standing in front of you looks like one bad conversation away from a mental breakdown.
And really you're not in the habit of checking out customers but he cuts a striking figure. Every exposed inch of skin besides his face inked, and (you silently ask for his forgiveness for the objectification) the biggest chest you have ever seen. What even is this guy eating? What is this guy injecting? Lifting?
The question is almost out of your mouth but then you see the look in his eyes and slam your lips shut.
Nevermind. You ring his purchases through and tell him to have a good night.
.
.
You're restocking the shelves when you notice a guy with a scar across his lip and nose, dripping blood from god knows where all over your freshly mopped floor.
Which is alarming in itself but come on man. Look at the floors. You're making it so fucking gross.
He notices you watching him, gives you an apologetic look and says he'll take care of it.
He makes a quick call and in comes 26 guys, one after the other and they line up in front of him.
You know it's exactly 26 because you counted all 26. And you've also watched all 26 pairs of dirty shoes trample over your previously nice clean floor.
The blood drippy guy asks politely for the mop and bucket and you think this must be some sort of prank because why the hell is this even necessary. 26 guys to share your one solitary mop and bucket and to clean a goddamn floor that you managed in 10 minutes.
"Get out." He blinks at you, taken aback by your tone. "Or I'm calling the police."
.
.
"You can bring your pups in!" You call out to the emo teen lurking outside.
Health and safety be damned because look how fucking cute these dogs are!
He hesitates but then the rain grows heavier and all three rush in.
You miss the suspicious glance he gives you, too fixated on how adorable the dogs are. You don't even mind their wet fur or muddy paws because look at these little babies!
And huh, this guy must really love them too with his, you squint, God? Dog? hoodie on. D'aww that's so stinking sweet.
.
.
Damnit, you knew these two would be trouble the moment they stepped foot into your store.
The tall blonde just gives off a distinct creepy vibe and the shorter one has his entire eyebrows shaved off.
Shaved. Off.
You couldn't help but stare when you put their purchases through and noticed some regrowth and stubble. Is this a trend you missed out on? Either way you're glad because there's no way you're shaving off your own eyebrows.
They converse in Japanese, not even saying a word to you. No thanks or anything, which is fine you suppose. But then they pay you in fucking yen.
They're out the door by the time you see the cash and fuck. Your boss is going to go apeshit when he finds out.
.
.
"What do you think, sweetheart?"
A new blonde guy addresses you tonight and for crying out loud, you just want a quiet shift.
What do you think of his white suit? With the garish LV logos? That it's tacky as fuck. That anyone with any sort of taste would never ever wear that. You keep your actual thoughts to yourself and instead just say it's fine.
That does nothing to subdue the blonde. He does stop talking to you though, and just mutters bitterly under his breath. You catch the words blind and tasteless.
His partner smirks at your response.
And isn't that a whole other kettle of fish because it's currently 2am and you're indoors and who the hell wears sunglasses right now. You think he's a douche of the highest calibre.
The smirk is wiped from his face when he asks for cigarettes and you ask for ID. He doesn't have it on him.
"No can do. No ID, no sale."
He leans aggressively into your space, and reveals his eyes peering over his sunglasses.
My god, what is up with this duo? One with the tacky suit, and this one with the ugly black contact lenses.
You don't budge and the guy is dragged out by the blonde cackling.
Ugh. That laugh gives you a headache for the rest of your shift.
.
.
You really wish customers would stop involving you in their conversation.
This one, who looks exactly like how you would imagine a SoundCloud rapper that has their mother following them and no one else, asks you to listen to his music.
He insists that he's good as the blonde girl rolls her eyes.
You listen to about 10 seconds and make up your mind.
He's wrong. He's very wrong. You want to suggest he gets checked out at the doctor because clearly his ears aren't working properly.
Instead, you mention you like Duke Pyeon, he's more your taste. Has he heard of him? It's the wrong thing to say though because this guy looks angrier than you've ever seen anyone.
"Don't start Vin, I've seen you listening to his music." The girl scoffs.
'Vin' shouts in indignation and storms off with his friend trailing closely behind.
.
.
"Can I help?" You ask with your customer service voice and customer service smile.
He has been standing in front of the hair dyes for a good ten minutes as his friend looks increasingly bored and you can't blame him.
"No thanks, I'm just browsing," he responds and you tell him you'll be just over there if he needs anything.
You kill some time playing on your phone, look up, and both of them are still in the exact same spot.
The one with the H on his neck looks about ready to tear his hair out.
"Come on bro, just pick one!"
"No Warren, this is important. I need it to suit my new aesthetics."
You shrug and return back to your kitty kat restaurant game.
.
.
"Cool glasses," you tell the guy walking around the store and he looks affronted at first before realising you're being sincere and gives you a small smile instead.
You wonder if you can pull off orange tinted glasses too or whether you'd just look like an idiot. It's probably the latter you decide when you ring up his energy drinks.
"I'm a boxer," he offers, as if you're judging the amount of caffeine he's going to slam down.
"Ok?"
"I need it for my training."
"Sure."
You've seen weirder purchases and weirder combinations. The people coming in looking frantic and buying a single plunger or pack of toilet paper never fails to make you chuckle.
To be honest the amount he's buying is a bit nuts, and you wonder if he's going to drink it all in one go. You probably wouldn't sleep for a year if it was you.
"Enjoy your training," you say, heaving and handing over the bag of 19 cans.
.
.
A mute blonde gestures at you
You try to use some sign language, but he looks at you as if you're crazy. At least you think he does but you can't see his eyes.
Somehow you're able to decipher he's lost his dogs. Four. Golden retrievers. And he asks if you have seen them.
(Huh. Do you have telepathy? Do you have the gift?)
You tell him no and he sprints out.
You spend the rest of your shift trying to move things with your newly discovered psychic powers.
Spoiler: you have zero powers. Zilch.
.
.
You think you might be having a stroke.
Because on what planet did this K-pop idol think the disguise would work. Cap and mask on but tufts of pink hair poking out and dressed completely in white.
It's like he's asking for attention and for people to ooh and aah over who that could be.
As he leaves, you shout that you can't wait for his next album. He turns around in complete shock that you recognised him, as if you solved the world's hardest puzzle.
It's a good job that DG has such a pretty face because what an idiot.
.
.
You hear two voices mention the words Daniel Park and your ears perk up, wondering if it's about your old colleague.
Nah. You're just being silly. It's not an uncommon name at all and too much of a coincidence.
"I haven't seen Daniel in ages! Have you heard from him, Zoe?"
"No," you see her friend shake her head from the corner of your eye.
The brown haired girl tilts her head in thought, "I wonder how Zack is doing too. I haven't seen him in so long."
"Ohhh~ you miss him!"
"O-of course I do! He's a friend!" She blushes bright red and you chuckle to yourself.
'Friend', sure.
For the rest of the shift, you reminisce about how you used to tiptoe around your feelings with your boyfriend, Taehoon, too.
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seaofwine · 7 months
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What do you like about the Odyssey? Besides some entertaining episodes (e.g. Circe or Calypso), I've never really been able to get into the Odyssey as a whole (I find the first 5 books especially dull). The Iliad really speaks to me more.
It's hard to really pinpoint what I like most about it but I love to talk about the Odyssey so I hope you like long posts hahaha
The first five books act as the exposition. When the Iliad ends, there's a general understanding that most of the surviving characters made it home. Menelaus and Helen have reunited, the catalyst for the Trojan War has been resolved. Agamemnon traversed the sea and made it back, and although he was killed by his wife Clytemnestra, there is no question about where he is; unlike Odysseus.
Telemachus has spent his entire youth without a father. When he finally decides to set out from Ithaca to find any leads on where Odysseus is, he is confronted with the fact that most everyone else has been accounted for. He sees Menelaus and Helen, the order of their kingdom, the comfort they have in each other and the bonds they have restored. Telemachus has known nothing but uncertainty, while his mother is forced to weave lies and deceptions to keep the suitors that plague their home at bay. The first five books really show how important one man can be when he is utterly lost, and what it would mean for everyone who loves him should he be found. These books also show the close interest that Athena, as patron of Odysseus, takes in his family. She steps into the chaos of Ithaca and gives Telemachus the inspiration to embark on his own journey, chasing the ghost of his still-living father.
When we finally reach Odysseus, he is not the same man that those who knew him in Troy described. They are the closest Telemachus can come to knowing what came of his father, but even they are separated by nearly a decade and the breadth of the sea. Penelope hasn't laid eyes on her husband in twenty years, there is no overestimating what that can do to a person's memory. Odysseus's first action is to cry. When finally Calypso is forced to allow Odysseus to leave, by order of Hermes, he makes his own raft and leaves at the first possible moment. He is fighting against the will of Poseidon, against the wrath he incurred, all alone. He has lost every single one of his men, every single person who could ever vouch for his identity, in a world where no one could recognize him, is gone. Despite this, he is still fighting to get back to Ithaca.
Odysseus is so utterly human in the text. When he is hosted by Alcinous, Odysseus asks the singer there to recount the story of the Trojan Horse. It's like landing at the doorstep of a stranger who graciously allows you to stay and immediately asking his DJ to play *your own* greatest hits - which in turn only upsets him. This also sets up the dramatic reveal of his identity (I like to imagine him looking around like, you guys remember this one? Yeah that's Me, I pinkie promise. Please give me 4000 drachmae and your best oarsmen (: ).
He recounts the story of how he got so utterly lost on the way back and one thing the Odyssey will tell you, to your face over and over again, is that Odysseus is a big time liar. But for some reason, his tale is so compelling it's hard to remind yourself of that when hearing it for the first time. Some points are so beyond baffling (like striking Polyphemus in the singular eye the poor sod has, and then once to the safety of his boat (which is on open water, the domain of said cyclops's father) loudly announcing his full gods-given name and mailing address, just in case anyone missed who it was) that it's like, yeah that was probably exactly what he did. This is the section of the story where we see Odysseus as he sees himself. This is his own reflection of the actions he made and the troubles that befell him because of it.
Odysseus is such a complex character that one of the epithets he is given is "polytropos", the many-faced or many-sided. Odysseus and his relationship to his own identity, which he can shed and don at any point that's convenient for him, is one of the main reasons I am obsessed with his story. This, and the exploration in an ancient text about what a close relationship with a deity, is something I am constantly thinking about.
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moments-on-film · 28 days
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Moments on Film: Carmy IS The Bear - Opening Scene Analysis
Hello friends. I hope your year is going well. If we have interacted or you’ve read my work before, hello again! If you’re new to my blog, welcome!
This is the final part I’ve been building to in a 3 part character analysis series I have written about the character of Carmen “Carmy” Berzatto from The Bear. In the first part, I analyzed how 🔗Carmy doesn’t know who he is yet because he’s never had the safety and freedom to discover who he really is by connecting with his true passion, art. In part two, I analyzed 🔗Carmy’s true purpose and how I believe his destiny is to set everyone up for success, leave the kitchen behind and step into his light.
I have rewatched The Bear multiple times, but nothing ever captures the wonder, intrigue, and immediate empathy I felt for Carmy after that fascinating opening scene in the pilot episode. I have been thinking about it since I first watched it and it has stayed with me.
Since the first time I saw it, I have always believed Christopher Storer wrote the opening scene of The Bear to provide a portal into the entire arc for Carmy’s character. Let me explain.
Think about what Carmy is doing in the opening scene. He’s approaching a bear trapped in a cage. He speaks to it softly and gently, shushes it, empathises with it, coaxes it out and unlocks the cage. Look at the words used in the script:
Trapped, locked away
Whimpers, cries from inside
Emerges
A mass of dirty, matted hair
Mouth bleeding and ill
Shivers
“Shhh…..shhhh…it’s okay…”
Sad, abused eyes
There was a cute animal in there once
“Come on….go….”
“I know.”
Why is The Bear so personified in the script? Why is Carmy talking to it like it’s a person? Carmy looks into its “sad, abused eyes”, and tells it,
“I know.”
In my opinion, in the pilot episode, Carmy encountering the Bear is more than a dream, it’s a premonition because….it is Carmy talking to his future self.
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Think about everything we have seen him go through so far and read the scene below:
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I think Chris Storer has given us the arc of Carmy’s character in the form of a fevered dream Carmy has while watching over a slow cooking pot of gravy while he sleeps on the metal counter.
Carmy is the bear in the cage. S1 set the trap, by the end of S2, Carmy has fallen deep into it, and I think in future seasons, Carmy will suffer greatly, then will make great attenpts to heal, get in touch with what he really wants and will set himself free.
The fact that the opening scene in the series takes place on the State Street Bridge is an indication that Carmy saving himself—letting himself out of the cage—will save his own life. This is the same Bridge where his brother Michael, trapped in the same cage he is caught in now, separately, but somehow together, saw no way out and took his own life. The symbolism is striking. The Bridge is the connection between the two realms, and the difference between life and death.
I also think that the words used to describe the bear mean that things will get so much worse for Carmy before they get better. Season 1 ended with Carmy committed to opening The Bear. Season 2 ends with Carmy caught in the walk in freezer of the restaurant, a literal bear trap of his own making where he is buried alive by his unprocessed trauma, and inability to thrive in the very place he was supposed to lead, and crippling pressure to turn a profit to pay off his debts. This is because in my opinion, the restaurant, his cage, is not his natural habitat. This is why everything in it always seems like such a struggle and so painful, forced and joyless.
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I’m worried to see how things will get worse for Carmy than they already are. In the script, the bear is described as tapped, locked away, crying, whimpering from the inside, a mass of dirty matted hair, mouth bleeding and ill, shivering with sad, abused eyes.
From the moment I saw the drawing on the wall in the pilot episode, I said, wow, look at the bars, it’s a cage. Of course, I didn’t know until 2x6 that Carmy himself drew the sketch himself, as a Christmas gift for Michael, who was trapped in a horrible cage of his own at the time, which makes it all the more telling and poignant. There’s a reason why Carmy drew the sketch this way, even if it was subconscious, with the same bear trapped in a cage, which we see again in his dream.
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Photo credit: moments-on-film (me)
At the end of season 2, Carmy is trapped, pacing the cage of the walk-in freezer.
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I’ve been so worried about Carmy as a character since the first episode because it is so clear that he’s sick and badly needs help that he’s not getting. He has undiagnosed PTSD, and inner trauma that manifests physically in the form of nightmares, trouble breathing and terrible panic attacks that ravage his body. This has been so visceral to me throughout S1 and S2 that I wrote an analysis post about 🔗Carmy’s Vital Signs, and how they are dangerously visible on screen through Jeremy Allen White’s exceptional acting. The Bear in the pilot script is described as whimpering, crying and ill. If I am correct, this is where Carmy is headed before it can all turn around.
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One other little clue that Carmy is metaphorically the bear from the opening scene, is the physical look of Carmy’s hair. From the pilot episode, Carmy’s hair has bothered me. He’s a 3 Star chef, trained with the best, and worked under the abusive chef in New York who must have had him and his hygiene under a microscope. It never made sense to me that his hair at times looked dirty and unkempt while his shirts were immaculately clean, pressed, and white. Below is a quote from an article where Jeremy Allen White talks about his hair as Carmy:
"I also wanted Carmy to always look just a little dirty. There’s a sink on set — everything was functional — and before most takes, I would get water in my hands and run it through my hair to get it looking kind of greasy.”
This always stuck out to me. He’s playing not just any chef, but, in the words of Sydney, “the most excellent CDC at the most excellent restaurant in the United States of America.” A chef who clearly cares about cleanliness, who gets on his hands and knees to scrub the floor more than once with just his hands and a washcloth. Why would he want him to look dirty? But thinking of it now, if he too knows the arc of Carmy, which he has said Chris Storer has shared with him, then he understands that where we are headed is to witness him as the bear is described, emerging from the cage, “a mass of dirty, matted hair.” The slightly dirty hair is a physical clue into the journey he is on as a character.
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I think in future seasons we are going to see a great deal of guilt and therefore self flagellation from Carmy to over correct his mistakes from S2 that is going to further impact his mental and physical health. As I mentioned in a prior post, just like his tattoo, he is constantly dancing on the knife’s edge, and literally putting himself in life threatening danger.
I also have predicted in prior posts that Carmy is going to push himself so hard that he has a major health incident that might finally force Claire (if she’s still around) to actually take note of how sick he actually is. I’m not sure if she’s going to be prominently featured in S3, but I would not be surprised if a health emergency forces Carmy into her life somehow. It never made sense to me that her (then) boyfriend is sick, she’s an ER Doctor, and doesn’t seem to really notice or care.
As I mentioned in my last post, Carmy’s True Purpose, I ultimately believe that Carmy needs to get out of the kitchen and into a life where he can be happy and healthy, and connected to his true life’s purpose. I do not believe that this means Carmy will abandon his found family, or that he will do anything to betray Sydney. I believe she’s his shining star and he will do anything and everything in his power to make sure she gets hers. I also believe they will be in each other’s lives forever because they are truly soulmates. This isn’t about anyone else, though, I think this is about Carmy coming to terms with decades of abuse, unspoken thoughts and feelings, buried passions, his precarious health situation, which is in fact, eating him alive, and letting go of his long held mantra to 🔗 “just keep going”, before it kills him.
Perhaps there’s a way to marry art with the restaurant. That doesn’t solely mean he is only drawing. Maybe what Carmy really should be doing is creating, planning and designing menus, traveling the world to discover new flavors and finding inspiration that can help the restaurant, and provide him with much needed creatively, peace and, yes, joy. Maybe the restaurant will become seasonal and he and Sydney can spend the off time traversing the globe and creating menus together. Maybe down the line he can get out of the commercial kitchen, and he and Sydney’s can revamp her catering company and they can create together is a different environment. I must believe we are headed for somewhere healing, positive and beautiful, despite the valley of despair that ended S2.
The character of Carmy honestly breaks my heart. In him I see someone who so desperately needs a breakthrough and help on so many levels. He so badly needs to discover who he is and what actually makes him happy before it’s too late. I think Carmy is subconsciously very connected to this. His dream, which started the series, continues to haunt me.
One great thing about Carmy’s life are the people who now surround him. In my opinion, he needs to be very careful about how he treats them moving forward. He has people who genuinely love him and who I believe have his best interest at heart. If he pushes himself to the brink and then decides to leave the kitchen for the sake of his health, I believe everyone would ultimately understand. However, no one can take the reins of his life and fix it for him. Only he has that power and create his own reversal of fortune.
If I am correct, for his character to follow the arc of the opening dream scene, all Carmy ultimately has to do is unlock the cage and set himself free.
How he will arrive at that point is the journey of The Bear.
©️moments-on-film 2024
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bythepen98 · 1 year
Text
N/ purely self-indulgent hhh, plus I always wanted to do something like this when I read a good fic. First attempt at making a webcomic.
Based on @rayshippouuchiha's ShikaNaru fic "The Brightest Flame (The Darkest Shadow)" :D
Rated: M
Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, BAMF Uzumaki Naruto, Genderfluid Character, Yandere Shikamaru Nara, Smitten Shikamaru Nara, Naruto with Tsunade's Strength, Love At first Chakra Enhanced Strike,.... etc.
Chapters (so far): 2/?
Summary:
Shikamaru’s never felt chakra so vibrant and warm before.
The log that Naruto’s been punching shatters clean apart, reduced to little more than splinters under the devastating force of his chakra enhanced blow.
Shocked and more than a bit startled, Shikamaru wheezes loudly, the sound carrying across the clearing and causing Naruto to abruptly turn and look in his direction.
And in that single moment Shikamaru is lost.
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[excerpt]
...because Shikamaru is a Nara to the core, is the strongest they've seen in generations, and the Nara have always been a clan of Shadows after all.
and what does the shadow crave more than the light?
Naruto, with his ocean blue eyes and his golden hair swaying in the breeze his attack had created, shines as bright as the sun itself.
And Shikamaru intends to have him.
(edit: forgot to add this)
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..."so much for that quiet wife and two ordinary kids idea."
"Time for a new plan." Because, really, there's no way life with Naruto is going to be any form of quiet or normal.
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....Shikamaru's entire life plan has to be thrown out the window and then redrawn from scratch.
Either way Shikamaru's not actually all that upset about his entire life being thrown into an abrupt upheaval.
After all, convincing Naruto to marry him as soon as possible will be well worth the effort.
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Naruto's pretty sure this is the closest they've ever actually been to one another outside of the few times they've been paired up to spar in class.
"What're you doing after this?" Shikamaru asks, one hand coming out of his pocket to reach out and play idly with the dangling sleeve of Naruto's kimono.
"After training?" Naruto keeps one eye on Shikamaru's hand...
"More like for the rest of your life," Shikamaru says. "But sure, we can start with training."
Naruto blinks.
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.....[Naruto's] not really sure what, exactly, is happening here but he thinks this might mean Shikamaru wants to be his friend now.
Ah my sweet summer child.
Not an exact play by play of what was written in the fic, only the gist I guess and the moment that rly stuck in my head and got me giggling in my pillow.
My love for the "oblivious pure(?) mc and their darker, possessive s/o" trope has struck again. Couldn't've stopped myself from finishing this even when sleep-deprived, which I currently am right now. Had fun challenging myself with this too and might attempt it again with a future chapter or other works depending on my schedule. I'm occupied with studying this month so making something time extensive like this won't happen for awhile yet.
Excitedly waiting for updates :D
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deathbxnny · 1 year
Note
Hi there! So i hope you don't mind a sorta specific request but can I request a HSR men (Jing Yuan, Gepard, Welt Yang, Dan Heng, Caelus, Luo Cha, and Blade) x s/o who has gotten their Vision taken away from them
So you know in genshin impact, when someone gets there vision taken. They become sorta lifeless.
So how would they react to hearing they're s/o desperately screaming to give their Vision back (similar to how Scaramouche screams at nahida to give the electro gnosis back)
How would they react seeing their s/o look so lifeless ever since they're vision got taken (kinda like this https://twitter.com/kurolee97/status/1418651048151973889 )
And lastly how would they react to seeing they're s/o go back to their usual self after getting their Vision back.
Again apologies for the sorta specific request, hope you have a good day!
----♡
A/N: Hello! I thank you for the request! I really love the idea! I however limited the characters to 4, as I have many asks to go through at the moment! I hope, I didn't disappoint you by this and you can still enjoy it!<33
Also a sincere thank you to everyone for 300 followers! I am so glad that people enjoy my work and that just motivates me to do better everyday! Thank you very much!<33
Featured characters: Welt, Jing Yuan, Blade, Gepard
Content: Angst, mentions of reader being lifeless, vision loss, fluff, established relationships
Reader has no set pronouns!
((Not fully proofread))
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》Welt Yang
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When he hears you screaming for your vision, he'll practically teleport to your side in an instant in worry. If he catches the person who dared hurt, he'll deal with them easily for you. If he doesn't catch them and they get away with your vision, he'll promise to make them pay for what they've done and get it back for you in no time.
He'll be quite heartbroken and frustrated seeing you in your lifeless state, even if he doesn't show it. He'll make sure to take care of you well and that all your needs are met even in his absence by the Astral Express crew. Welt would just be so upset, that he wasn't able to protect you and the guilt would take a while to disappear, even when you're normal again.
Speaking of normal, once he's able to finally get your vision back for you, he'll be clinging at your side in his own way for months after in worry. He's so happy that you're okay again, but the guilt is just killing him. With your reassurance and affection, he'll definitely get back to his usual state too. He's just happy to have you back.
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》Jing Yuan
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He most likely only heard what happened through someone telling him during his work hours. He never left work as fast as he did that way and would practically bark orders at his soldiers to find whoever took away your vision. Jing Yuan always put your safety before everything, so his stress levels and frustrations were just heightened at the lifeless sight of you.
He'd be unable to focus at work anymore after seeing the state you were in and therefore would take some time off his duties to stay with you. He takes care of you all day and night at the expense of his own health and promises you, that you'll be okay again soo, even if you can't hear him.
Once the person with your vision was caught and you were turned back to your usual self, he was still very paranoid and worried about you for a couple weeks after. He'll make sure that guards accompany you everywhere you go and that you're never out of his sight for too long. He just never wants to see you like that ever again.
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》Blade
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Hearing your screams of anguish and panic would probably make him go nearly insane. He'd be at your side immediately, sword ready to strike down anyone that dared coax such a horrific sound out of you, until he is met with only your lifeless form and your vision gone.
He'd rip apart the entire universe to find whoever it was that hurt you, yet always returned back home to you after a long day of searching to take care of you. He has a hard time showing his affections, but he'll still make sure your comfortable and that all your needs are met.
Once he finally destroys the person and gets your vision back, he'll stay even closer at your side and not allow anyone to near you. His hand would always protectively be at your waist and he'll glare at absolutely everyone in your vicinity. Deep down, he's unbelievably happy to see you again.
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》Gepard Landau
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The moment he hears what had happened to you from the frontlines, he'll immideatly make his way back into the city to see you. Gepard will practically also dispatch an entire army to find the person who stole your vision and will only rest, once he can find them.
Meanwhile, he's absolutely heartbroken and shattered at the sight of your lifeless state. He'll leave you in Serval's care, whilst he searches and makes sure to always come back to take care of you himself. Gepard will make you as comfortable as possible and shower you with love and affection even in your state. He just hopes, that you'll maybe feel it anyways.
The moment you're back to normal, he'll hold you close and apologise for not having been there to protect you. He'll spoil you as an apology and makes sure you're guarded by his soldiers at all times from now on. Gepard won't ever let you get hurt like that again, that's for sure.
-----♡
A/N: I hope this was okay! Thank you again for the interesting request!<33
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working-dreamer · 1 year
Text
The Person Within: An Analysis Of Professor Layton's Hidden Character Development
Spoilers for practically all of the Layton games!
Hershel Layton as a character is sometimes criticized outside of the fandom for having no personality other than his gentlemanly nature and taking the concept of enjoying puzzles to the extreme.
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While I think this criticism shows a blatant misunderstanding to his character, I do think from a different angle that perspective makes Professor Layton more interesting.
Think about it. Most of his personality is taken from the tragedy of those around him. Randall was the one who was originally obsessed with archaeology and puzzles. Claire was the one who originally perceived Hershel as a gentleman (thus giving him the idea.) We don’t really see Layton take these aspects of his personality onto himself until tragedy strikes and these people are taken away from his life.
In the case of Randall's death, Hershel blamed himself for surviving and moved out of town because of his self-loathing and guilt. And when Claire disappeared Layton paused his studies for an unknown amount of time trying to find out what happened until he was beaten into a coma by a group of people associated with her death.
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And yet instead of grieving like you’d normally expect from a person who lost his best friend and girlfriend, he internalized their interests and aspects of their personalities into himself. He wears their passions and dreams as his own to remember them. In a way, he’s always reminding himself that he couldn’t save them.
However one might wonder how Layton really feels about those things outside of his previous losses. Does Layton even enjoy archeology and puzzles? Or is it something he has grown to accept in his life simply because he is living out Randall’s dream? Does he feel like he has a choice in the matter?
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I can easily imagine Layton having doubts deep within himself: Randall didn’t get to live and it’s my fault. His dreams should live on. I don’t deserve anything else.
Same with Claire. She saw him as a gentleman but he certainly didn’t feel like one after her disappearance if his memory of events is to be taken seriously. How long did it take for him to turn into the perfect gentleman? Especially if it's just a painful reminder of her loss?
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It’s probably after waking up from his coma that he starts to really embrace the idea that he has to be the perfect gentleman because he knows he can never get her back. So all he can do is embrace what she thought of him before she died. So with all of this in mind is Layton’s gentlemanly persona genuine to who he is as a person? Or is it just a persona created in order to keep her memory alive?
Layton has kept the shadows of his lost loved ones close to his heart for years and probably would have always done so had he never gotten any closure. However, when Randall turned out to be alive Layton now has the opportunity to let go of that guilt. Claire came back in the future momentarily and Layton got to say goodbye. He no longer needs to keep their personal traits as his own.
So why does he still embody Randall's passion for archeology and puzzles and Claire's perspective that he's the perfect gentleman?
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I think it's because Layton doesn't know who he is without these borrowed parts of his personality. Without those aspects that he adopted into himself… who is Hershel Layton? Deep down he is someone who has silently mourned his loved ones and repressed those emotions. And yet most of his life has been embodying said grief. It makes me wonder if Layton would ever look deep within himself and realize that he doesn’t have anything to claim as his own. His entire personality revolves around past guilt and trauma from people he loved and lost.
Shoot even his name isn’t his own! Hershel Layton was actually the name belonging to his brother and in a moment of sacrifice switched names so our Layton could be adopted. So our Layton loses the only family member he has left without even knowing who that is for the majority of his life!
So we have a man who feels guilt and remorse for the deaths of his best friend and his girlfriend so he doesn’t allow himself to develop his own interests and personality because he doesn’t feel like he deserves to be his own person. It's even implied that he believed for a time that he didn't deserve to be the one who survived the events that killed his best friend and girlfriend. And then adding to the fact that he never knew his real family so he most likely felt a different kind of loss by not knowing where he came from. All and all we find a man that feels alone and tries to make it right by embodying the traits of those he cared about.
We don’t get to see Layton develop his thoughts on all of this but we do see an interesting development later on. I’d like to think that Layton slowly began to heal after his adventures thanks to adopting Katrielle in the anime.
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This is because, for the first time in Layton’s life, he had a family to look after. Someone who doesn't need a mystery-solving archeologist or a perfect gentleman detective. Someone who doesn't need the grand "Professor Layton." This little girl just needs someone to be her father and, while he tries his best, he doesn't really know how to do that.
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Sure he had a familial relationship with Luke and Flora, but he never called himself their father. I don’t think he allowed himself that privilege because of all the self-loathing he had been dealing with before. When he adopts Kat it feels like it’s the first time we see Layton truly allowing himself to be a father figure. And yet he is still uncertain about if he should be the one in this role.
Layton feels like his adopted daughter should know where she came from (something he didn’t get to have) before he can start thinking of himself as a father. He’s scared that if he gets attached then it'll hurt worse when she eventually returns to her own family should she decide that is her wish. But if he finds her family first then he doesn’t have the go through that heartache. He wants to find them first so she can make an informed decision.
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And he says this with the logic that he always had as “Professor Layton” with that calm and collected smile. Notice that he says "I want to solve this puzzle so that we can become a true family." He doesn't say "so that we will become a true family." It’s almost as if he is going to let Kat decide if she wants to stay with him or go back to her real parents and that choice will be up to her. However, it's somewhat implied that he already thinks that she would naturally choose her real parents if she had the opportunity.
Despite his wishes to be her father, he still seems to be internally preparing himself to say goodbye (hence why he disappeared for so long in the first place.) He just doesn’t want to get too close to another person only to lose them and suffer alone again.
It makes sense why he is distancing himself, but he’ll still solve the mystery. It's what “Professor Layton” would do and he’ll have to accept whatever happens once Kat learns the truth. He doubts that she would still see him as her dad if she could be with her real parents. He doesn't even know himself outside of the role of "Professor Layton" so how can he be a true father to her? She'll go away with her real family eventually anyway. Why would anyone choose him?
And yet when he sees her again Layton is surprised when she immediately cries out for him. She still calls him papa. She wants him to be her papa.
In a public display of overwhelming emotion, we see Layton openly weep for the first time. He is so overcome by these emotions and for once doesn't repress them. He's just so happy to see his daughter again (to truly call Kat his daughter again) and allows himself to fully express those feelings for perhaps the first time in decades.
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If Layton from the original game trilogy saw himself like this he would have been mortified by this “un-gentlemanly” behavior. His mindset back then was that a gentleman never cries because he has trouble coming to terms with his emotions. He even chastised Luke in Unwound Future because “a gentleman never makes a scene in public.”
However, he was never a gentleman for himself. It was always for holding onto the guilt of losing his loved ones while trying to honor their memories at the same time. But he doesn’t have to hold himself to those impossible standards anymore. He no longer blames himself for their deaths, he found closure, and now he has found himself in a family who chooses to love him not because of those attributes “Professor Layton” embodied, but because she loves him for the person hidden under that persona. And that is enough for Layton to openly weep as he embraces his child.
I believe Kat's words here helped Layton more than she'll ever know.
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So who is Hershel Layton if he’s not a gentleman or a fan of archeology?
The solution to that puzzle is really quite simple.
He is a caring person. And that’s all he ever needs to be.
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thequeenviana · 2 months
Text
Inkbound
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CHAPTER 1
Pairings:
Yandere Taehyung × OC × Yandere Jungkook
Warning: This story is a work of fanfiction and is purely a product of the author's imagination. It does not depict any real-life events or individuals. While some characters may be inspired by real-life idols, their portrayal in this story is fictional and not representative of their true selves. Please note that this story may contain triggering content, including themes of abuse, gore, murder, humiliation, bullying, rape, and other mature and dark themes. Reader discretion is advised, especially for those under the age of 18. If you are uncomfortable with such content, it is recommended to refrain from reading and kindly disregard this story.
A painful cry escapes from Yana's swollen lips as her husband mercilessly beats her with his belt, the force of each strike leaving marks on her pale skin. Helpless and lying on the cold, dirty ground of the mansion's basement, Yana endures the brutal assault as this is not new to her. Her husband gazes at her with a mixture of disgust, hatred, and rage, his desire to kill her was evident in his eyes and actions towards her.
However, he knows it won't be that easy; he intends to make her suffer for all the harm she has caused his family, especially his beloved Nara.
Finally, he ceases his attack, observing Yana's battered state on the ground blankly.
Blood surrounds her body, as if she is bathing in her own pain. Yet, there is no trace of regret or guilt in his eyes as he coldly looks on her trembling figure. Yana, still crying in agony, curls herself into a ball, her body heaving with sobs.
A whistle suddenly reaches his ears,the sound echoing on the basement,but he pays no attention, refusing to turn around and identify the source. As the person approaches with a deadly smirk and an aura of danger, he stops and places a comforting hand on the younger man's shoulder.
Overwhelmed with emotions, the younger man breaks down in tears, hastily wiping them away. The older man embraces him tightly, his gaze fixed on the bloody woman, who is still painfully breathing. Yana, lying on the ground, gazes blankly at the ceiling, numb to the presence of the newcomer, as she already knows who it is,and she's scared of this man more than the one who beats her up to a pulp just right now.
She can't number the tortures that he have done to her that made her traumatized but still her love for him won't ever change even though he even cutted off her two pinky fingers after he have accused her of stealing.
"I missed Nara, hyung! So much!" the younger man cries out, his tough facade crumbling. The older man gently pats his back, closing his eyes and suppressing his own urge to break down in front of this cruel woman.
"I know, Jungkook. I missed her too," he whispers softly, reaching for the gun concealed in his black pants.
"Let's put an end to this woman's life. I can't bear it any longer."
Jungkook nods, his anger evident as he swiftly turns around, crouching in front of Yana. With a voice filled with coldness and hatred, he grips her blood-soaked hair tightly.
"I wish it was you who was dead, not our love," Jungkook harshly says through gritted teeth.
"And I also wish I never met you, you clingy bitch," he adds, his eyes burning with resentment. Yana, in her final moments, looks at the two men, making eye contact with them. All she sees is pure hatred and rage, as ever since Nara entered their lives, they both despised her from the depths of their hearts, deceived by Nara's lies.
A faint smile appears on Yana's face as her entire life flashes before her eyes like a movie recap. In her mind, she wishes she could express her feelings to both of them, to tell them that she had been there for them from the very beginning. But in the end, they abandoned her, even after all the time she spent by their side. She loved them both, forever.
She wished she could bring back time, change everything and never met them, stay away from them and live her life to the fullest.
She broke her family,her parents heart for this mans.
She turned her back to her parents who's begging for her to stop her ridiculous actions,but she never listened for this mans.
She have wasted and pushed away her best friends who she believes that time was not supporting her but now she regrets it for not listening to them,
She missed them,very much and she wishes to just for the last time she can say sorry to them,one last time and hug them tightly.
"I wished you two had trusted me more, because I was the one who was there for you both from the start. But you chose to believe her over your own best friend," she silently declares in her mind. With her eyes closed, she smiles one last time.
'BANG!'
In the basement, the sound of the gunshot reverberates, marking the end of the woman's life.
"The end."
"Wait, what?!"
The young girl suddenly stood up from her seat, shouting in disbelief. The book she was reading was still in her hand as she stared at the last word, flipping the pages back and forth, hoping the author was playing a cruel joke with the ending.
"You've got to be kidding me! That's it?"
She continued to stare at the book, a pout forming on her red lips. Dissatisfied with the conclusion, she put the book down and crossed her arms in defeat.
"Yah!"
She yelled in surprise as someone shouted near her ear, startling her. Her flailing hands accidentally hit the intruder in the nose.
The unexpected hit made the person groan in pain and touch their nose to check for blood. She quickly turned around to see her younger brother, Jae, still touching his nose and moaning in discomfort.
She gasped and quickly moved his hand away to inspect his nose, sighing in relief when she saw it was fine.
"Why would you do that? You know how clumsy I am sometimes."
Jae scoffed at his older sister before grinning and sitting beside her. His attention was drawn to the book.
"Why were you cursing, sis?"
Jae asked, noticing his sister's disappointment. She huffed, crossed her arms, and looked down at the book.
"I just don't like the ending of the book. And stop calling me old sis! It's annoying!"
She said, lightly hitting his head. He groaned and playfully glared at his older sister.
"What, you're my older sister, so I'm gonna call you that!"
He retorted.
"But still, don't add 'old' to 'sis'!"
She huffed and looked away, as Jae chuckled at his older sister's childish behavior.
"Oh, come on, just tell me why you're upset about the book's ending."
He asked, resting his head on his arms on the table and focusing on his sister.
"Can you believe it? The girl in this story died just like that, without getting justice for that evil woman, Nara's lies. Oh, I hate her! But I don't like what Yana did in this story either."
She shrugged before continuing, as Jae silently and eagerly listened to her rant.
"Yana was too desperate in this story. She didn't even do anything to get revenge for what that woman did to her life! And also, she was so clingy to those men! Like, woman, there are so many men in the world, not just them!"
She paused, panting and reaching for a glass of water which she quickly gulped down before slamming it back onto the table, startling Jae.
"And! You know those men! If I were in her shoes, I wouldn't be that dumb to chase them desperately and lower myself to them! Ugh! If I were Yana, I would change the whole story and make her life have a happy ending, not her chasing those men desperately and throwing herself at them like a whore!"
She spoke quickly, as Jae frowned at his sister's frustrating words about the story.
"Maybe the author planned it–"
Jae tried to interject, only to be cut off by his frustrated sister.
"No! It's absurd! How can someone just end it like that without a proper ending and justice for the character!"
She rolled her eyes and looked away as Jae looked at her blankly, shaking his head and chuckling.
"You should sleep now," Jae suggested, patting her head before standing up and leading her to her bedroom.
After wishing his still-grumpy sister a good night, he left for his room.
On the other hand,Fae slowly trudged towards her bed, slumping onto it, her mind still preoccupied with the frustrating ending of the book. She grabbed a pillow, hugging it tightly as she lay down.
"If I were her, I wouldn't be that stupid!"
Fae muttered, rolling her eyes as she gazed out of her window. The tranquil night gradually soothed her racing heart, and sleep began to envelope her, leading her into a deep slumber that she would never forget her whole life.
~
The mansion was suddenly engulfed in a wave of panic.
The once peaceful silence was shattered by the noises that stirred Fae from her sleep. She frowned and groaned in annoyance at the disturbance, her mind still foggy with sleep. The murmurs of hushed voices filled the air, their whispers carrying an undertone of urgency and worry.
Gossip swirled around her, whispers of strange happenings that stirred the mansion's usually calm environment. Yet, Fae was too lazy to wake herself fully and investigate the cause of the commotion. Despite the intriguing rumors and the frantic atmosphere, she preferred the comfort of her bed, choosing to ignore the chaos and attempt to drift back into her peaceful slumber.
As Fae was on the verge of slipping back into a deep sleep again, her bedroom door suddenly burst open, causing her eyes to snap open in startlement. She gasped, quickly sitting up to see who the intruder was, her expression filled with anger as she prepared to unleash a barrage of words, determined to set this person straight and impart some wisdom about the importance of not disturbing a sleeping human, for God's sake!
But before she could utter a single word, her eyes widened in disbelief as she laid eyes on the furious man storming towards her.
"Young Master–"
One of the girls attempted to intervene, trying to stop the raging man from getting closer to Fae.'wait who were these people!' Fae couldn't help but wonder who these people were. Were they intruders? Are they being invaded?What was happening? Her mind raced with panic, but her thoughts were abruptly cut off as the man forcefully pushed the woman aside, causing her to stumble and fall to the ground. Fae's eyes widened at the sight, her heart pounding in her chest.
In an instant, the man's hands closed around her neck, squeezing tightly, cutting off her airflow. Panic surged through Fae's veins. She desperately tried to speak, to gasp for breath, but the man's grip prevented her from doing so. She clawed at his veiny, tattooed, muscular arms, her attempts at resistance in futile. She knew she stood no chance against this imposing figure.
"Who–"
Fae managed to choke out a word, only to be abruptly silenced by the man who was choking her.
"You! I told you to stay away from her! Yet, you hurt her again!"
He yelled, his eyes filled with a mixture of rage and....hurt? as he glared at Fae.
Confusion swirled in Fae's mind. 'Hurt who? What was this man talking about?' She couldn't comprehend the situation unfolding before her.
"Yah! Stop that!"
A manly voice suddenly shouted, and the man was forcefully pulled away from Fae. She gasped for air desperately, silently thanking the unknown savior who had intervened and saved her from the clutches of the man who had been choking her.
Fae's gaze darted between the man who had attacked her and the newcomer who had come to her rescue. As she looked around, she realized there were other unfamiliar faces in the room. Fear gripped her heart. Who were these people? And where in the world was she?
Questions flooded her mind, but before she could voice them, the man who had attacked her spoke up again.
"Let me go, hyung! This witch hurt Nara because of her jealousy!"
Fae furrowed her brow, her confusion growing as she looked at him with a mixture of frustration and bewilderment.
"Calm down, Jungkook!"
'Jungkook?'
The name struck a chord in Fae's memory, though she couldn't quite place it. She shrugged off the familiarity, still struggling to understand what was happening. Was this some kind of prank?
"How can I calm down? This bitch is crossing the line! She's hurting Nara because she's jealous of her!"
The man continued, pointing an accusing finger at Fae, who glared back at him, her anger boiling over as she stood up in bed.
"What did you just call me, you bastard?!"
Fae burst out angrily, her voice filled with indignation.
Everyone in the room gasped, their eyes widening at Fae's outburst. It was a rare sight to witness their young madam raise her voice, especially directed at someone like Jeon Jungkook,her love.
Jungkook himself froze in place, stunned by Fae's sudden outburst. Had she really just shouted at him? It was a new and strange experience for him, and he couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. He continued to stare at Fae, trying to make sense of the conflicting emotions swirling within him.
Fae rolled her eyes, her frustration still evident as she exclaimed, "GET OUT, ALL OF YOU!"
Her voice rang out even louder this time, causing everyone to flinch, except for Jungkook, who looked at her with wide eyes. He couldn't help but wonder what was happening. Why was his heart racing like this? And why did he feel a strange sense of hurt at Fae's words? It was the first time she had ever shouted at him and what's strange for him was he didn't like it.
Jungkook's mind raced, trying to make sense of the situation, but he was abruptly pulled away from the room, not fully comprehending what was unfolding.
Fae's gaze settled on the last woman who was about to exit the room.
"You!"
Fae called out, causing the woman to freeze in her tracks.
'God, I need to find out what's happening!'
Fae thought to herself, feeling utterly confused by the events that had transpired. She yearned for answers, realizing that this was not a prank anymore.The unfamiliar faces in the room made it clear that her family wouldn't orchestrate something like this, knowing how sensitive she was.
As she took a deep breath, preparing herself for the confrontation, a mix of fear and confusion coursed through her veins 'like the hell is happening,am I being kidnapped?oh hell no! that's not it and what the heck does that handsome man a while ago talking about?'
She only remembered sleeping in her room,then this!
She stepped forward, her voice steady and resolute as she addressed the last woman who had paused at her command.
"You! Stay right there. I need to know what's happening. I demand the truth.Did you all kidnapped me!?"
The woman's eyes widened, her expression a mix of surprise and fear at her young madam's exclaim of being kidnapped?
'Oh no,we need doctor Lee again' The woman thought with fear for the young woman's well being.
As the room fell into a tense silence, Fae's mind raced with questions. Who were these people? What had transpired to lead to this moment? And most importantly, why was she at the center of it all?But one thing she was sure of,she was kidnapped.
With each passing second, Fae grows annoyed as the woman still did not talk anything .
The woman looks here and there not meeting Fae's annoyed eyes.
"Young Madam,I think you need to take a rest right now. Your father will come here and he will answer your questions."
She quietly excused herself and left in a hurry as Fae grips her hair in frustration.
Fae stands up straight again and ignore what the woman had said.
'No!I need to go home,my family is probably waiting for me!'
With a determined mind, Fae cautiously stepped forward towards the door, her main goal being to escape from wherever she was and return home. She couldn't shake the feeling that her parents must be worried about her by now.
Casting quick glances around, Fae stealthily crept out, her eyes scanning the surroundings for any sign of the people who had caused her distress. Fear gripped her as she worried they might catch her and lock her up.
As she ventured further, she noticed that the hallways were devoid of any people. Seizing the opportunity, she swiftly ran down the left hallway. However, her hurried pace came to an abrupt halt when her eyes fell upon a picture hanging on the wall.
"Wait... What in the world is this?"
Fae exclaimed in surprise, her eyes widening as she stared at the picture framed with a golden border.
"Is that me?!"
Horror washed over her as she realized she was in the photograph, surrounded by faces she couldn't recognize. A sense of unease crept over her, causing her to slowly back away.
But her retreat was interrupted as she bumped into a solid chest. Startled, she quickly turned around, only to find herself face to face with a strikingly handsome young man. She couldn't help but be awestruck by his appearance.
'Oh my god, he's so handsome!'
Internally fangirling, Fae found herself momentarily lost in admiration of the handsome man before her. 'wait where does he came from?I didn't seen him coming.' However, her focus quickly shifted back to her priority: escaping this imposing house and reuniting with her family, who she missed dearly.
Fae cautiously backed away from the man, catching his attention. He raised an eyebrow, surprised by her actions. It was the first time for him, as she had always been the one to throw herself at him, acting like a clingy leech. Her sudden change in behavior intrigued him.
"Jungkook told me what you did again, Yana," he said, his gaze turning cold as he took a step forward, cornering her against the wall next to the photograph.
Fae furrowed her brow, trying to make sense of his words.
'Jungkook again? No... no, Fae, that's ridiculous and did he just called me Yana?! Nope! It's probably just a coincidence,' she chuckled, momentarily forgetting the dire situation she was in.
Growing increasingly impatient and angry, the man punched the wall, not too forcefully, to bring Fae back to her senses. She flinched and became scared as she saw the murderous look in his eyes.
"W-what are you saying?!" Fae stammered, her fear palpable. There was a dark aura surrounding the man that made her tremble. Something in his eyes told her to run as far away as she could.
The man let out a dark chuckle, his deep voice resonating through the empty hallway. He briefly looked down, poking his tongue inside his cheek. Under different circumstances, it might have been attractive, but given the situation, Fae couldn't focus on that.
He looked up, glaring at her once again before speaking, "If you do that again–"
Fae had had enough. Before he could finish his sentence, she forcefully pushed him away, causing him to stumble back. Seizing the opportunity, she dashed away, leaving the angry, handsome man yelling for her to come back.
Gritting his teeth in anger, the man dusted off his expensive shirt and straightened it, glaring at the spot where Fae had disappeared. A loud commotion reached his ears, and he turned around to find a group of maids running towards him, panting heavily.
"Young Master Kim, pardon us, but have you seen Young Madam?" one of the maids asked, fear evident in her eyes from their frantic chase.
Raising an eyebrow, the man answered coldly, "I saw her running in that direction," pointing towards the path Fae had taken. With a smirk on his handsome face, he walked away, knowing full well that the woman's father, whom he had encountered earlier, would be furious after what he had said earlier. Punishment awaited her once again.
As he continued on his way, he heard the maids rush off in the direction he had pointed, their footsteps fading into the distance.
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viridianevergarden · 3 months
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Reading comprehension and critical thinking has really gone out the window hasn’t it? At least in a portion of the fandom.
People are forever stuck under the presumption that Az feels pure lust for Elain and nothing more. That lust suddenly doesn’t go hand in hand with love? That Az is mentally fucked up and should get therapy yet no one else in the IC should? That Az is wrong for naturally shifting his feelings of love from one person to another? That he’s wrong because he didn’t “take a break”? That because of these, Az doesn’t deserve to have love and to love in general?
People are also forever stuck under the presumption that these characters are oh so evil and shouldn’t deserve love at the same time? Take Rhys for a popular example. (When it’s a book series about the ‘villain’ getting the girl. The math isn’t mathing. He’s not even a real, true villain).
No character in ACOTAR is meant to be a saint, I thought everyone knew that. (Oh my god! Morally grey characters when they do morally grey things, shocking😧)
I find most Azriel antis are literally just people who can’t put two and two together. Or just don’t like him for whatever reason they may have. (Everyone has their opinions, yes). But my god, the shallow interpretation and failure to understand his character annoys me ngl. He’s a complex character but he’s not a damn mathematical equation. (He is complex yet linear.)
“He only thought about sex in the bonus chapter.”
As if Elain also wasn’t aroused too? And gave him permission? (Omg, mutual consent! Blasphemy!)
But also the fact that they disregard Az’s noticeable and careful attention to Elain that he has shown throughout the entire series? They disregard purposefully romanticized moments?
“What happened with Elain?”
“What about Elain?”
“I’m getting her back.”
“I can imagine.”
“Would you like me to show you the garden?”
“There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.”
“This is Truth-teller.”
Shadows gathered around the room like snakes preparing to strike.
“Sit. I’ll take care of it.”
“Wait until everyone is seated before eating.”
“We need to get these chains off her.”
Azriel stood in the doorway, monitoring [Elain]…
“She doesn’t need anything.”
“The Cauldron made you a Seer.”
“Happy Solstice.”
Staying up with her til 3 am, talking about her gardening plans.
The kiss on the cheek.
“Beautiful.”
Countless times of him gently carrying her around.
Him constantly looking out at her garden.
Him spending actual effort to get her a thoughtful gift for solstice.
Facing death itself to get her back immediately by himself.
A laugh so deep and joyous.
Looking at that headache powder every night for over a year without ever using it.
The absence of his shadows in her presence.
“His secret to tell, never hers.”
Need I go on? Azriel is always hyper focused on Elain. Always. If it weren’t for him, Elain would probably be dead or in more trouble than she ever would have been before.
If all Azriel cared about was slipping under Elain’s dress, why did he attend to her so? Why is he hyper aware of her? Why is he so assertive with her needs over anyone else? Even over Nesta? Why would he feel the need to defend her against Nesta, her own sister, if it called for it? Why does he respect her and Lucien’s boundary by refusing to have eyes on Lucien for the sake of their privacy? Why was he the only one to show initiative over anyone else to get Elain back to safety now rather than later, by himself, even if it meant certain death?
But yeah, all he wants is her body. Right? Yeah, that makes sense…
I’m just saying. No main SJM character would ever go through so much effort just to bed another character. Thats not SJM’s style nor is it logical in the slightest.
But oh yes, he feels entitled to her and her body…
…Entitled?
Wrong E word.
Envy ≠ Entitlement.
Feeling Envious of the love that his brothers have? Of the bonds they have with the other sisters? Yet he’s the only one left all by his lonesome? He feels left out. Third wheeled. And rationally so. He’s happy for his brothers but envious all the same. (As if Cassian didn’t feel the same but no one said shit about him did they?)
I’ve said this in another post too but he is NOT looking at Elain and going “she should be mine.”
He doesn’t even think he deserves her for freaks sake.
Rhys doesn’t really know Azriel. Cassian doesn’t really know Azriel. No one truly knows Azriel. The only one who has truly understood some semblance of Azriel is Elain. Even when his heart and feelings are so incredibly gated off from everyone.
So that word —entitlement— that people keep throwing around from Rhys’ lips is completely misguided.
The sheer mischaracterization makes me see red 💀
But back to the point, with obvious and mutual romantic feelings, being horny is normal. (This is also an adult romantasy series, shocking that there’s sexual content).
I’ll die on that hill for Az and Elain.
I don’t get how it can be this hard, but maybe it’s just me.
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Hey! This is extremely late but I feel like you'd adore this prompt.
Character study: Ed's beard caused sensory issues, required tedious upkeep, and was a source of performative masculinity. Finally, he's shaving it, and seeing "Ed" for the first time in decades. Super healing, cute, positive 💜
You're right, I absolutely adored this prompt!! This took a minute because I wound up going in a completely different direction at first, wasn't satisfied with it, and it sat in my drafts, and now I actually fuckin' love it. This one's set in a modern AU with a trans Ed, because that's a delicious little wrinkle. Bon appétit.
(Never too late to send me prompts for 1k word fics, by the way! I can't promise they'll all get done but if they inspire me, I'll do 'em eventually. These are great for writer's block)
--
No one could accuse Ed Teach of disliking hair care.
That was something his mama had instilled in him from a young age. His hair was also his pride in his heritage, in where he came from, and taking care of it was an important way Ed could take care of himself and stay true to himself. His worst argument with Stede, to date, was over which of them was taking up too much space on their shared bathroom counter with all the hair care products (they’d wound up putting up more shelving). The first time he’d let Stede help him wash his hair, after Stede had listened through Ed’s explanations of his hair care, was probably one of the most intimate moments he’d ever shared with another man.
His beard, though. That was a different story.
Ed didn’t hate the beard, most days. It had started out as a band-aid solution when he’d been struggling to be taken seriously with his baby face, and he’d wanted to prove he was as much a man as anyone.
Then he’d grown up, and he’d stopped looking like he’d just glued a few random hairs to his chin, and it became…him. It was big and striking and masculine.
“You know,” he’d confided in Stede a few nights ago, cuddled up under the covers together, one thigh and an arm thrown over Stede’s middle while Stede traced little patterns over Ed’s bare hip with a forefinger, “I don’t even like the beard.”
Stede blinked down at him. “You don’t…like your beard?”
“Honestly?” Ed ran his fingers through it. He liked how soft it was, liked putting little bows in it, liked how everyone saw him and knew without a doubt he was a man. “It’s itchy, and it’s easy for things to get stuck in it, and it makes my face all hot, and hair gets in my mouth, and -”
“Hm,” Stede said, shifting his hand up to scritch his fingers along Ed’s jaw, and Ed leaned into the touch. “You don’t have to keep it.”
It was Ed’s turn to pause in surprise.
“But I’m Blackbeard,” he said, a bit lamely.
“You can be whoever you want to be, beard or no,” Stede shrugged. “I’ll love you just the same, with or without it.”
Huh.
This morning, Ed woke up early, plugging in Stede’s electric razor and locking the bathroom door behind him. It wasn’t that he hadn’t wanted Stede to be part of this moment, but…he hadn’t seen his whole face in literal decades.
He wanted his reaction to be his and his alone.
Ed hesitated before he could touch the razor to his face for the first time. What would everyone think? He’d literally named his entire brand after this thing.
He took a deep breath. It didn’t matter what everyone else thought. It was about what Ed wanted. He could do what he wanted with his own body to help himself feel more himself and more comfortable.
At the very least, he told himself, it would save him time in the mornings. You don’t keep a beard that big looking that good without a very time-consuming beard care regimen. 
He used a hand mirror as he worked, looking at himself at too close an angle to be able to see his full face before he was ready for that. When he splashed water on his face, he shivered at the coolness of it against his sensitive skin.
He swept up all the clippings, taking care to avoid looking into the mirror over the sink. “Bye-bye, Blackbeard,” he whispered, tipping the clippings into the trash can.
Ed took a deep breath. Stede had said he’d love him, no matter what. He lifted his head, and he saw -
Oh.
His first reaction was that he looked a lot like his mother. He’d started trying to grow his beard out right after he’d first started taking T, and he hadn’t even realized how scared he was that he’d shave his beard off and see his dad under there until he got to see the opposite was true. He had a sharper jawline, but the rest was all her.
And he’d been scared he wouldn’t look enough like a man without it, too, but he looked…pretty, actually, and literally fine. He’d probably want to keep at least some stubble, because he really did just like how affirming facial hair was, but this was proof that he didn’t need the full beard to look like a man. He was a man, no matter what he looked like - the beard had just been his way of daring anyone to tell him otherwise.
“Hey, Ed,” he whispered, watching in the mirror as he brought his hands up to feel, tracing new wrinkles, soft skin, birthmarks and little freckles he’d long forgotten.
It shocked a quiet giggle out of him when he realized how nice it would be, to eat food without worrying about something getting into his beard. How nice it would be to feel soft things against his cheek, to -
There was an idea!
Ed darted out of the bathroom and practically launched himself back into bed, grabbing Stede’s hand to hold it against his face. He shivered in delight - Stede had touched his face before, of course, but he’d never felt it so clearly, his soft palms and warm fingers against his cheek.
“Mmf,” Stede mumbled, burying his face in the pillows in protest against being woken up.
“Babe!” Ed collapsed down onto his side so he could snuggle close and rub his clean-shaven cheek against Stede’s.
“Wh-aah!” Stede yelped as he opened his eyes to see Ed like three inches away. “Your beard fell off!”
“Shaved it,” Ed corrected, looking away. He hadn’t expected Stede to fucking scream at him -
Stede reached out, gently, cupping Ed’s chin to tilt his face for a better look. “Oh, Ed,” he whispered. “Aren’t you beautiful?”
Yeah, Ed thought with satisfaction. He sure fuckin’ was.
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bird-likes-to-fandom · 7 months
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why do you dislike michie? /genuinely curious
cracks my knuckles. I'm so glad you asked, dear anon!
First and foremost, I want to say that I'm big on "do what you want forever" when it comes to fandom, even if I hate a certain ship. Just because I post about hating something (because it's my opinion and I can also do what I want forever), doesn't mean I'm gonna police or attack people who love it. I have like 4 or 5 mutuals who like michie! I'm completely fine with others liking it, it's just not my thing and since you asked, I'm gonna tell you why.
Hello! If you're going through the npmd tag and reblogging this post, please reblog the version with the readmore. I meant to put one here the first time and apparently forgot! I'm sorry.
I've tagged this post with "anti michie" for tag blocking purposes.
I don't understand it at all. Max is a vicious, vicious bully, who terrorizes Richie and his friends for literally no fucking reason. He's constantly on a power trip and he enjoys it, and no matter what his home life is like, I don't think that justifies his actions. It doesn't justify his actions. The entire school lives in fear of him, the entire school has physically or emotionally felt his wrath, even his so called "friends", Kyle and Jason. Hell, Richie says he used to not be able to even open his locker out of fear. If Max hadn't died, and if he had genuinely worked on himself, the absolute MOST I could see between him and Richie is a shaky acquaintanceship. I don't think anyone would want ANYTHING to do with him for a very long time, once they knew it was safe to not suck up to him.
I don't understand how people can watch the Nerdy Prudes Must Die song and scene and think it's mutual-love relationship material. Richie's death is genuinely haunting, even only the parts we see of it. Richie is sobbing, begging for his life, and Max taunts him, and you think that's fluffy? And reminder - we don't actually see Richie's real death. We see Max about to strike and laugh maniacally before the lights go black, but at the beginning Bailey says Richie was purple-nurpled and swirlied to death. At the beginning and in Richie's death scene, we hear Max calling out for him, toying with him like predator and prey.
A lot of people make ghost Max out to be nothing that he is in canon, a lot of people make him a goofy guy who is just mildly annoyed by Richie's and Ruth's ghosts. And while canon Max has his funny and silly moments, it's important to remember his actual character and what he represents - a figurative and literal monster. In fanon, people erase all of Max's bad traits, which is what his entire character is meant to be. He's not some dumb himbo, he's a bully. He's meant to represent a real thing that hurts and even kills real people. It's a disservice to take that from him.
I've seen certain Michie works put emphasis on Richie being the one to forgive Max, and not Max taking the long road to work on himself, when in reality it is NEVER on the victim to forgive their abuser. Even if Max works on himself and redeems himself to the best of his ability, even if he gives Richie the most sincere apology in the multiverse, Richie does not have to forgive him. He does not owe him that. And I don't think Richie would forgive him, at least not for a long, long time.
And also, if you want to ship Richie with someone who needs a little redemption, Jason Jepson is right there, and it's a way more probable ship than Michie ever has the capacity of being.
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