#such a good narrative and then all the endings u have in store for me are between one unsatisfying ending and another 😭

[criticalgay]

they weren't lying most of those possible companion endings are... bad

[gothcsz]

𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒆 / Chapter XI.

GIF by tomshiddles

PAIRING: Javier Peña x Original Female Character

SUMMARY: Truths are unveiled and Javi begins to regret ending things with our MC.

WORD COUNT: ~7.4k

RATING: 18+ Explicit topics such as sex, drugs, murder, the occult, religion, cannibalism and other triggering matters will be explored in this body of work. Minors DNI.

CHAPTER SPECIFIC TAGS: discussions of religion, light smut but not between our main couple (rip), another case of detective!javi, lotta plot stuff/exposition dump, other things that I'm probably forgetting.

DISCLAIMER/WARNINGS: The Javier Peña referenced in this body of work is solely based off of the character that appears in Netflix’s Narcos and not the actual person. Very canon divergent and I will tweak things as I see fit to compliment the narrative of this story. While efforts have been made to be accurate in terms of canon timeline, a lot of details will be fictionalized.

A/N: hola primas we're back again with another installment of wtf is going on in this fic?! lmfao i had a little too much fun writing this chapter so i hope u all enjoy it and thank u for reading <3 i may or may not be an august stan idk how we feeling chat?! as always feel free to drop any type of feedback/support on this blog or ao3. i'd really appreciate it <3

♰  read on ao3. ♰

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“A woman, a mother, a mother is a very special thing and other than the Lord Jesus Christ, I think that a mother is one of the most precious gifts that God gives to this world because the mother is the one who loves the Lord and always seems to be there when we need her. A mother is a very special thing. A mother is a very special thing.” –– Family Tree (Intro), Ethel Cain.

“No peekin’, okay?” August whispers against her neck, his voice filled with playful insistence.

Paloma can’t help but laugh, the sound light in the quiet night. “That’s the third time you’ve told me that. I promise, I ain’t lookin’!” she assures him, her eyes squeezed shut and her free hand covering them for good measure. Her heart races with anticipation, wondering what surprise he has in store for her. She can feel his warmth and the gentle pressure of his hand guiding her forward, heightening her excitement.

Sneaking away from home had been surprisingly easy. She told her father she was going to spend the night at Sloane’s and would be back the next morning, not really feeling like doing her usual show at the bar. At first he had been skeptical, but a few well-placed batts of her eyelashes and a practiced pout later, his resolve softened and he relented with his usual father spiel. She knows she was pushing her luck, but the thrill of the evening and the promise of August’s plans makes it all worthwhile.

She was also cautious not to reveal the location of Sloane’s new home. Instead, she told him that she was just going to the motel in town, maintaining the illusion that her friend still resides there. This little deception is necessary to keep him at ease, even though it means bending the truth.

Now, she finds herself being led to a mystery spot where he has prepared their long-awaited date. She has no idea what to expect, but it doesn’t really matter. The mere fact that he has put so much effort into planning this is more than she can ask for.

As they walk, she feels the summer evening breeze brushing against her skin and the soft rustling of leaves underfoot. The night is alive with the distant chirping of crickets and the faint, sweet scent of blooming flowers.

“Just a little further,” he says softly, his voice laced with a hint of excitement that matches her own. Paloma nods, biting her lip to contain her smile. She trusts him completely, knowing that whatever awaited her would be worth the secrecy and the suspense.

They come to a halt, and he gently squeezes her hand before letting go and moving to stand behind her.

“M’kay, you can open ‘em now,” his southern drawl is like syrup in her ear, his breath warm and inviting. She blinks her eyes open, her vision adjusting to the soft glow, and she gasps softly as she takes in the scene before her.

They’re in the greenhouse, transformed into a romantic haven. Various candles are scattered around, casting a warm, flickering light that dances across the glass walls and lush greenery. In the center of the space, a picnic blanket is spread out on the floor, adorned with an assortment of dishes that she assumes make up their dinner. Cutlery and plates are neatly set aside, everything meticulously arranged.

“Oh, August…” she breathes, her voice filled with awe. Her hand instinctively comes up to clutch her chest then she turns to face him, eyes glistening with adoration. Unable to contain her feelings, she pulls him in for a sweet, lingering kiss; a silent thank you for his thoughtfulness.

“You like it?” he asks with a hint of nervousness. She takes a step forward, her eyes wide as she absorbs the sheer beauty of the setup.

The moonlight streams gently through the skylight window, casting a silvery glow over everything. She almost pinches herself to make sure she isn’t dreaming, the scene is so perfect.

“Like it? I love it! You did this all yourself?” she exclaims in genuine admiration. The flowers that surround them appear even more delicate under the soft glow of the candlelight. Unable to resist, she leans forward to sniff at the peonies nearby, their sweet fragrance filling her nose.

“Had some help, but for the most part, yeah,” He replies with a modest smile. “Here, come sit.” He beckons her over, and she complies eagerly, settling herself next to him and smoothing out the skirt of her dress.

“Well, you outdid yourself. This is the sweetest thing ever,” she leans her body weight against her palm, gazing up at him with a gentle, appreciative stare.

“Let this be the first of many sweet things I do for you, pretty girl. You deserve it,” he replies, winking. Her blush deepens and she finds herself fidgeting with the hem of her dress, her heart fluttering at his words.

Their date goes effortlessly, filled with lighthearted flirting and laughter. He boasts about his cooking skills, and Paloma playfully challenges him, only to be quickly proven wrong when she takes her first bite of the lasagna he’s made. It’s fucking delicious.

She feels a sense of enchantment growing with every passing moment, the romantic setting amplifying her emotions. She mentally chides herself for not pursuing him sooner, for wasting time on the mustached older man who had occupied her thoughts for far too long.

They finish their meal, and just when she thinks the evening couldn’t get any better, he pulls out a small angel cake with the perfect arrangement of strawberries and whipped cream from the picnic basket.

“How did you know this is my favorite dessert of, like, all time?!” she exclaims, eyes wide with delight.

They share a knowing look before answering simultaneously, “Sloane.” Her smile widens, her cheeks aching from how the expression has hardly left her face since she arrived.

August scoops a spoonful of the cake and brings it up to her lips, his eyes twinkling with playful intent. She opens her mouth, maintaining eye contact as she takes the sweet dessert.

She moans softly as the flavors meld in her mouth, the light, airy cake complemented perfectly by the sweetness of the fresh strawberries. “Delicious,” she murmurs, savoring every bit.

He watches her, a satisfied and boyish grin on full display. “I’m glad you like it,” his voice is low, seductive. He takes a bite himself, nodding in appreciation of the treat they’re sharing.

They take turns feeding each other, and she is completely absorbed in his company. He makes her laugh, his eyes swimming with mischief and warmth, and she feels a connection she hadn’t thought possible.

She looks at him, beaming with gratitude and something more profound. “Tonight was amazing, August. You’ve really made me feel special.”

He reaches out, moving a strand of her hair that had fallen forward aside. “You are special, Paloma. And s’just the beginnin’.” He holds her stare briefly and she softens, “Night’s not over yet, girl. There’s still somethin’ I want to show ya.” His words promise more surprises, and she feels her excitement renew, eager to see what else he has for her.

“I’ll be right back,” leaning in to place a tender kiss on her lips, he tastes a hint of the whipped cream lingering there and it takes all his willpower to pull away.

She sighs wistfully, watching him leave. To pass the time, she busies herself by cleaning up. She carefully moves the empty containers into the basket and stacks their dirty plates before pushing them aside.

He returns not too long after, holding what looks like a photo album. Her curiosity piques immediately. “What’s that?” she asks inquisitively, shifting in her seat so her legs are tucked beneath her as he lowers himself beside her.

“A scrapbook…” He trails off, and she can sense the nerves radiating from him. Her brows cinch together, waiting for him to continue.

“‘Fore I show you this… I need you to understand how unique you truly are.” He sets the book down between them, his hand coming up to stroke her cheek affectionately as he gazes deeply into her dark eyes. She doesn’t know what to say to this, so she remains quiet but offers him a reassuring look that encourages him to go on.

“Knew it from the moment I set eyes on ya. At the time, I didn’t know what it was. I jus’ assumed it was another crush on a pretty girl. But then I got to know you, and slowly but surely… everything started makin’ sense.”

There’s an unidentifiable tone in his voice, one that makes her heart beat a little faster. “What do you mean ‘started makin’ sense’?”

He takes a deep breath, his hand dropping from her face as he places the leather-bound book into her lap. The force of it feels significant, almost like it carries the gravity of his words.

“This is goin’ to be a lot, ‘n I understand if you dunno know how to process it all after I show you everythin’. But… can you promise to wait ‘till I explain ‘fore you react?” His eyes search hers, pleading for understanding and patience.

Her heart races with anticipation and uncertainty. “August, you’re scarin’ me,” she giggles nervously, her hands growing clammy at his elusive words.

He flips the book open to the first page, revealing a photograph of a group posing in front of a grand, old church. The faces in the picture seem frozen in time, their expressions filled with a mix of hope and solemnity.

“There was a group in Italy,” He begins slowly, “that believed a new age of peace ‘n tranquility was nearing. They devoted all their time and resources to prepare for it. They were convinced a woman would be the one to bring it into fruition, so they searched for her all over the world.”

He turns the page, revealing more photos of the group alongside the majestic church. The images capture moments of gatherings, rituals, and serene landscapes. she can’t help but feel a strange sense of connection to the story, though she remains unsure why he’s telling her this.

“Why are you showin’ me this?” she voices her thoughts, her curiosity mingling with apprehension.

“Because, Paloma,” He says, turning another page to reveal a faded, hand-drawn map marked with various locations, “They documented everythin’ , kept records, and followed signs. This group believed that the woman who would bring about this new age had certain qualities, certain... traits.”

Her eyes scan the map, noting how meticulously it’s marked, the sense of urgency and dedication evident in the detailed annotations. Her confusion deepens, but she remains silent, partially engrossed by the unfolding story.

He turns another page, revealing a photograph of a necklace, a delicate cross pendant with intricate engravings. “This pendant,” he continues, “was said to be a key, a symbol of her identity.”

Her heart races as her gaze falls to the piece of jewelry. She inhales sharply, her breath snagging. It’s the same pendent that had belonged to her mother. Her fingers absentmindedly go to her collarbone that’s bare since she opted out of wearing it tonight. “What does this have to do with me, August?”

He takes a deep breath, his eyes locking onto hers with an intensity that makes her pulse quicken. “The more I got to know you, the more I realized you embody everything this group was searchin’ for. Your kindness, your strength, your spirit—it all matches what they described.”

“Are you saying… you think I’m this woman they were looking for? Don’t be ridiculous––”

“Just let me finish.” He cuts her off, looking away briefly and trying to collect himself before relaying the next bit of information. “Then they found her. The woman they’d been preparin’ and searchin’ for. She lived halfway ‘cross the world in the orphanage where she was raised. After gettin’ in contact with her, she agreed to move to Europe.”

She listens intently, her body buzzing with a feeling she can’t explain as she absorbs his words. She waits patiently, her eyes fixed on him.

Another turn of the page, and this time, she gasps loudly as her eyes land on the photo. It’s her mother, clear as day. A photo she’s never seen before, but it’s undeniably Abilene Leighton. She is always told that she resembles her, but seeing her at about the same age Paloma is now is uncanny—they look identical.

“Mom…” Her voice trembles with emotion as her fingers trace the photo, tears welling up in her eyes. He watches her carefully, studying her reaction. He wants to give her a moment to process this revelation, to come to terms with the implications, but at the same time he’s eager to keep unveiling more.

“Her real name was Calmana. The women that raised her in the orphanage didn’t think she needed a surname. From the moment she arrived in their care, they knew she was special. Seemingly dropped off on their doorstep. No one ever adopted her. She was different from the others…” His voice is filled with reverence as he speaks, his words weaving a tale that feels so foreign.

Calmana? The name sends a shiver down her spine, leaving her speechless as her eyes trace every detail of the picture. There’s a haunting beauty to her mother’s image, a sense of mystery that lingers in the air.

He presses on, his tone solemn yet tinged with awe. “Don’t know how they did it, but they were able to figure out part of her family tree. Paloma… you come from a marked lineage, akin to the story of Cain and Abel.”

Her world stills, mind reeling at the magnitude of his words. Her heart pounds in her ears with a mixture of disbelief and wonder.

“According to some religious traditions, Cain and Abel had sisters,” He continues, his voice steady as he delves deeper into the mythic lore. “Calmana was the oldest daughter of Adam and Eve and, in plenty’a sources, the twin sister of Cain. Others say she was his wife. That would make her the first female human who was born naturally. You, your mother are direct descendants of somethin’ fuckin’ divine.”

Her mind spins with the implications of this revelation. The idea that her bloodline is tied to spiritual origins feels dreamlike. Fake. Isn’t everyone technically descendants of Adam and Eve? It’s what she’s been taught growing up.

But as she looks down at the picture again, she sees her mother in a new light—a woman with a story.

She can’t help the way her hand comes up to cover her mouth, overwhelmed by everything he’s saying. It feels like the ground beneath her has shifted, leaving her reeling in a sea of uncertainty. As he continues to flip through the book on her lap, showing proof of every bit of his story, she feels a rush of conflicting emotions—astonishment, skepticism, and a growing sense of unease.

It’s too confusing, it simply must not be true. Yet, with all the texts he’s had her read and all the books they’ve both bonded over, there is a nagging possibility that all this is actually real. The thought has goosebumps curling at her skin, her mind racing with a million questions and doubts.

“No, no way.” She shakes her head, her voice trembling as she moves the leather book off her lap and places it between them. She feels like she can’t breathe, despite being surrounded by fresh air and all this greenery. Every fiber of her being screams for escape, for a return to the familiar, to the world where such tales belong only in the books that she loves to read.

She quickly stands, her movements frantic as she turns to make her exit. August’s eyes widen in alarm, and he follows after her, his voice pleading as he reaches out to stop her.

“Paloma, wait––” His words are urgent, filled with desperation. “I asked you to wait ‘til I was finished to react. Please… just hear me out, ‘n then you can decide what it is that you wanna do.”

His words hang in the air, a silent plea for understanding and patience. She pauses, her heart pounding in her chest as she wrestles with her unrest. She knows she can’t simply walk away without giving him a chance to explain, to unravel… whatever the fuck this is.

Her back is to him and she wipes some of the tears that managed to spill. With a shaky breath, she turns to face him, her eyes searching his. “Okay,” she whispers, her voice barely audible above the rush of blood in her ears. “I’ll listen.”

He lets out a brief sigh of relief, his shoulders relaxing as he beckons her over again, eager to resume the exploration of the scrapbook together. She hesitantly steps over to him, her body still trembling with the heaviness of her mother’s past as she lowers herself back into a seated position on the blanket.

“Your momma… well she was the one who was supposed t’ bring this new age into order,” He explains, his tone informative, “but the group disbanded before they could follow through with it. They lost track of one another, and she ended up here in the States with a whole new life.”

“August,” she begins, her words trembling with shock, “How do you know all this?”

A silence falls over them like a veil.

“The woman that left me all this…” His voice is somber, his gaze distant as he recalls the memories. “She was part of the original group. Told me stories whenever I helped her out. At first, I thought she was some crazy old broad, so I jus’ let her talk. Then she started showin’ me photos and all kindsa crap, and that’s when I actually started payin’ attention to her ramblings.”

Her eyes widen in realization as his words sink in. The pieces of the puzzle start to click into place, connecting the dots of the journey.

“She’s the reason I started this group, s’why I started lookin’ into things on my own. She moved away abruptly, and it wasn’t ‘til I got this house and found that scrapbook that I knew why she left it all to me. She wanted me to find that woman and carry out what they couldn’t back in Rome.”

This feels like an out-of-body experience, really, as if she is standing outside of herself, watching as her mother’s past is revealed to her.

It explains so much, she thinks, her mind jumbled as she recalls all their shared memories. How she was cagey when Paloma asked about her childhood, how she was always so vigilant of her growing up. Now that she knows this new side of her mother, she doesn’t know what to make of it. The woman she thought she knew, the woman who raised her, suddenly feels like a stranger—a mysterious figure shrouded in secrets and untold stories.

Who was she, really? Did her father know all of this?

Her silence is deafening, in the air like a dense fog, and he tentatively reaches out to caress her forearm, gently urging her to look at him. She meets his gaze, her misty-eyed expression a mix of emotions—sadness, confusion, and a glimmer of something else.

“Then I found out she had passed years ago, which left you, the next in line to fulfill this… prophecy,” He continues, his voice soft yet filled with conviction.

“Me?!” She can’t help but snort, though it’s tinged with tears. The idea feels absurd, impossible.

“Yes, you, my little dove,” He replies with unwavering intensity. “I told ya you were special, ‘n you can’t sit here ‘n tell me you haven’t felt the magic that’s embedded in your bones. You’re one of a kind, Paloma. A gift to humankind that must be treasured. Think of all the pain and suffering in this world… think of how you can be the one to end it all.”

The enormity of this newfound responsibility is too big for her to fathom. She looks into his eyes, spotting the earnestness and sincerity there, and for the first time, she allows herself to entertain the possibility that maybe, just maybe, there’s truth in the stories that are intertwined with her own life.

As they sit together in the quiet of the greenhouse, surrounded by the soft glow of candlelight and the scent of flowers, she feels a sense of purpose stirring deep within her—a spark of something powerful, waiting to be unleashed upon the world.

He was right. This is a lot.

Her face must say it all because he draws nearer, enveloping her in his comforting embrace. She doesn’t move at first, but then he places a soft kiss to the crown of her head, and she lets herself go. Her shoulders drop, a heavy sigh leaving her as the weight of it all settles in her chest.

“If you need time ‘n space to process this––I understand,” he murmurs, his voice soothing. “I jus’ had to tell you, angel. Had to make sure everythin’ was alright before I dropped it on your lap. Knew if I had told you the first day we met you woulda called me crazy ‘n sent me on my way.”

“M’tempted to do that now…” she mutters jokingly against his neck, nuzzling her face there and taking a deep breath, letting his scent fill her lungs in an attempt to ground herself.

He chuckles, the sound vibrating through his chest, and she melts further into his touch. “Go ahead. Told ya you were free to do as you pleased after I was finished… ‘n well… s’all I have for ya.”

Okay, there are no more twists. That comforts her some. She pulls back to look up at him, her tear-stained cheeks and beautiful brown eyes glowing softly under the romantic lighting, making her look breathtaking. Like a true angel, one that can bring so much good into this world.

Her mind is still reeling, but in his arms, she feels a sense of security. “This is a lot to take in, August,” she whispers, her voice barely steady.

His eyes soften, and he gently brushes a strand of hair from her face again. “You’re stronger than you think, Paloma. ‘N whatever comes next, we’ll face it together. You’re not alone in this.”

His words wrap around her like a warm blanket. Much needed reassurance. She takes another deep breath, feeling the overwhelming storm of emotions begin to settle.

She leans in to press their lips together and he hesitates at first. He murmurs her name in protest, but she deepens the kiss with a sense of urgency. Her lips are soft and plump, molding against his with a fervor that he can’t resist. The heat between them is palpable, the shift in the air thick with their shared desire.

His resolve drops as he succumbs to her. It’s not long after that he’s got her spread out on the blanket, naked and his tongue buried in her cunt while her fingers tangle in his hair. 

She cries his name out while she comes, her legs trembling as he kisses his way up her body, whispering sweet affirmations and filthy promises against her skin.

You deserve the world. I’ll treat you right. You’re such a good girl.

He takes her right there, fucking her passionately. His kisses are devout, his touch tender yet insistent, as he shows her just how beautiful and remarkable she truly is. She feels utterly vulnerable, caught up in the overwhelming intensity of the moment. Every fiber of her being responds to him, her senses alight with the raw, unfiltered emotions coursing through her.

The perfect date he orchestrated was already enough to sweep her off her feet. But then he gave her more: life-altering revelation of her family history, a truth so profound it has reshaped her understanding of herself.

She clenches around him, coating his cock with her slick release as her orgasm rattles her harshly. He follows not much after, filling the condom then collapsing onto her. His weight presses her into the floor before he rolls onto his back, taking her with him so she straddles his hips. Still joined, they savor the afterglow, their breaths slowly returning to normal as their hearts pound against each other’s naked and sweat glazed chests.

Looking into his eyes, she sees a reflection of a future he envisions for them—a future where she can make a difference, bring about change, and fulfill the destiny he’s convinced she’s meant for. And in this euphoric state, with her heart and soul laid bare, she knows she’ll believe anything he tells her, because with him, anything seems possible.

The next part of Javier’s investigation involves diving deeper into Jessica Valdez’s background. She was the only one to be taken and held captive for a period of time, indicating that there is something specific about her that caused the perpetrator to deviate from his usual methods.

He isn’t sure what to expect from her family. Families react in a myriad of ways to an investigator’s presence, especially when he needs to look through personal belongings with a fresh perspective. As he arrives at the Valdez home, he prepares himself to be as sympathetic as possible, turning on his Southern charm to its full effect. To his surprise, Jessica’s parents are eager to help. This relieves him, and he can’t help but note the distinct difference between them and the Thornton family. While the death of their daughter had shattered the Thorntons, it seems to have brought the Valdez family closer together.

Mrs. Valdez guides Javier to Jessica’s room, her presence lingering at the doorway as if reluctant to leave. She offers a small, encouraging nod before stepping back, leaving him to his investigation. He surveys the room, taking in the floral pattern of the bedsheets and the posters that decorate the walls. He doesn’t find anything at first, just typical things you’d come across in a twenty something year old’s bedroom.

He can’t help but compare it to Paloma’s room, thinking about how similar yet distinctly personal each space is. Javi scoffs. No matter how hard he tries to focus, she always finds a way to sneak into his thoughts, her presence lingering like a stubborn fucking ghost.

He rummages through the vanity, but finds nothing unusual—just makeup products and other miscellaneous items. Frustrated, he stands in the middle of the room, hands resting on his narrow waist as he rolls his tongue over his teeth, deep in thought. What had the assailant seen in her that made him want to keep her captive? What did she possess that the others didn’t?

Determined to find answers, Javier makes his way to her closet. A distinct groan from the wood flooring stops him in his tracks. Intrigued, he retreats a few steps and hears it again. His brows furrow as he shifts his weight, pinpointing the source of the sound. Kneeling, he notices one of the floorboards is slightly raised compared to the rest.

His blunt fingers try to pull it free, but it doesn’t budge. He quickly goes back to the vanity, grabbing a metal nail file to help loosen the board. With some effort, he manages to detach it completely, revealing a shallow hiding spot beneath. There, lying in the small cavity, is what looks like a diary. He wastes no time in taking it into his possession.

The diary has a fragile lock, but with the nail file still in hand, he carefully jimmies it open. As the lock gives way, he flips through the pages, his eyes scanning for anything that might shed light on why Jessica was different. The entries are personal, detailing her thoughts, fears, and dreams. He feels a pang of guilt for invading her privacy, but he knows this might be the key to understanding what set her apart.

One entry catches his eye, dated just two weeks before she was taken. Jessica writes about a man she noticed watching her, how she felt both intrigued and unsettled by his presence. The details are chilling and Javi’s pulse quickens. This could be the lead he’s been searching for.

As he continues to read through it, Jessica talks about meeting this guy who’s promising her the entire world. Her writing is whimsical, capturing the excitement and mystery of young love. She doesn’t go into detail, carefully avoiding specifics. She explains that this mystery boy told her that if she dared speak or write about all he’s revealed, none of it would come true.

His jaw tenses. To him, it sounds like a classic manipulation tactic, designed to keep her quiet and compliant.

“Bullshit,” he mutters under his breath, his exasperation amplifying as his fingers dig in to temples; alleviating the building migraine. He can’t believe she fell for such a transparent ploy, but he also understands the allure of a charming stranger spinning grand tales in small towns like these. It pisses him off that this guy—whoever he is—managed to weasel his way into Jessica’s life and fill her head with empty promises. He probably did the same with the others.

He takes a deep breath, trying to steady his emotions. He knows getting irritated won’t help him find the answers he needs. He forces himself to focus, flipping through more pages to see if there’s any additional information about this mystery guy. The eccentric tone continues, filled with hopeful musings and vague references.

He has to identify him, the one who captivated Jessica and possibly led to her captivity. He gently closes the diary, his mind racing with new questions and a burning desire for justice.

With renewed purpose, he exits the room, ready to confront whatever challenges lie ahead. Her fantasy-filled writings might have masked the danger, but he sees through it. Her descriptions of a mysterious suitor aren’t just youthful reveries—they’re potential clues.

He tucks the diary securely under his arm and heads downstairs, stopping to make conversation with her parents on the way out. Very subtly, he asks them questions about any new people in Jessica’s life, a boyfriend or a close guy friend she might have been spending time with recently. They aren’t much help in this regard, reiterating the same information they’ve already provided in various statements. Of course, Jessica wouldn’t have mentioned this secretive relationship to them, but he still had to ask—just in case.

The drive back to Seminary is quiet as he mulls over this discovery. He can’t shake the gnawing feeling that he knows who’s behind this, but his thoughts are muddled by the disdain he harbors for the blonde, tattooed sleaze that fits the vague description Jessica had written in her diary.

The charming promises, the elusive nature of this mystery man. They match the profile of the younger guy he’s had his eye on for a while—this local troublemaker known for his smooth-talking and shady past. This connection is worth looking into, especially since he already has the plans to tail August’s group.

Entering the sheriff’s department, he immediately notices Romeo chatting with Lorraine, who is gathering her things to leave for the day. Javier glances at his watch, seeing that he should have left hours ago.

“You workin’ a double?” he asks, flashing the older woman a charming smile as she bids them both goodnight.

“Had a meeting with Abbott over the phone then I did some paperwork. Paloma’s out with her friend ‘n won’t be back till morning. M’not really lookin’ to bein’ at home alone. Might stop by the bar to kill some more time.”

At the mention of her, he feels that all-too-familiar internal reaction—the one he experiences every time she’s brought up. No matter how hard he tries to bury his thoughts of her beneath his work and other bullshit distractions, it’s impossible when Romeo talks about her so frequently.

And why wouldn’t he? Romeo is none the wiser to what Javier and his daughter have been entangled in for the past few months. His guilt and desire swirl together once again, creating a complex cocktail of emotions that he has to suppress each time her name is mentioned.

He knows exactly which friend she’s with, and considering what he just discovered in the diary, he can’t help the way his heart races at the thought of Paloma being in danger. His rational mind tells him there’s no actual threat—everything is circumstantial. But he’s desperate for answers, and unfortunately, the person who currently fits the bill is too close to her for comfort.

“She not doing a show tonight?” Javier asks, his tone laced with practiced nonchalance. It’s Friday, and he knows how much she loves and looks forward to her weekend performances.

“Nah. Said she was havin’ a sleepover with Sloane at her place. Well, shit, the motel. S’where that poor girl is livin’. Dunno why they didn’t just stay at the house––she kept sayin’ that she doesn’t wanna be there all the time and that she’d just be in town. So I figured, what the hell, she is twenty-six years old. I shouldn’t be so goddamn strict on her all the time.”

He processes this new information. The fact that Sloane lives at the motel is news to him. If she stays there, it’s possible that others in their circle do too. He wonders what information he can get about them from the employees.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Javier responds, forcing a smile. “She’s an adult and can take care of herself. Still, you’re a good dad for looking out for her.”

Romeo’s face softens with appreciation, but his thoughts are already elsewhere. He needs to visit that motel and scope out anything he can get. The urgency of his mission pulses through him, driving him to take steps he might later question. But for now, he’s only focused on getting as much dirt as he can on this group.

He taps his fingers rhythmically on the surface of the entrance desk, his mind resolutely focused on his goal for the night. “Seems to me like you should be enjoying a child-free night. Just don’t drink yourself to death down at the bar, alright?” His lips quirk up into a small smirk, eliciting a chuckle from Romeo, who agrees with him before gathering his things and leaving Javier alone in the station.

His eyes drift to the clock on the wall. The overnight deputies are due in an hour, giving him a small window of time to prepare.

With his notes updated and a clearer picture forming in his mind, he closes the diary and slips it into an empty drawer at his desk. He stands, stretching his legs and rolling his shoulders to shake off the tension before heading towards the door, a determined set to his jaw. He tells the two deputies he’s going out over his shoulder, not giving them the time to reply before he’s in his cruiser and heading towards the Trails End motel.

The first car he sees when he arrives is Paloma’s, and he isn’t sure if he should be relieved or not. Parking right by the entrance, he finishes his cigarette, the neon lights of the flickering sign casting an eerie glow over his hardened facial expression.

He wonders what room she’s in, what she could be doing to pass the time, what she’s wearing. Javier curses under his breath, his lips tingling at the phantom feeling of her soft skin beneath his touch. He recalls how he could feel the pulse in her neck amidst burying himself inside her, each beat syncing with his own racing heart.

What an evil fucking thing it is to reminisce on such a memory like this. It’s regressive, the opposite of what he should be doing, but she has such a tight grip on his heart–– he wants her to squeeze it until it pops into a bloody mess. Maybe then he’d be free of this torment of yearning for her.

He exits his car, flicking the finished butt of his cigarette into a nearby bin. The cool night air doing little to calm the heated thoughts swirling in his mind. The motel’s façade is weathered and uninviting, everything one would expect from a dingy place like this. He pauses at the entrance, drawing one last deep breath before stepping inside.

The lobby is dimly lit, a faint smell of stale smoke and cleaning products hanging in the air. The clerk at the front desk looks up with a bored expression as Javier approaches.

They engage in small talk for a moment before Javi is pulling out the mugshots of August, Sloane, and Gabriel. He slides them across the counter and asks the man what he knows about them.

“Oh yeah. That’s Miss McCarthy!” The attendant points to the picture of Sloane. “A real sweet thing. Stayed here with those boys for a good while before she moved out a few weeks ago. Her checks from the bar still get mailed here, and she’s back every week to get ‘em.”

“Moved out? She’s not living here anymore?” Javier’s eyes narrow, intrigued yet confused.

“Nope. Got a house out there somewhere.”

“Is she here tonight?”

The man gives him a wary look but quickly backs down under the intensity of the sheriff deputy’s stare.

“No. Haven’t seen her since last Sunday when she came in to get her check.”

He digests this information. Sloane’s absence complicates things. He had hoped to walk away tonight with maybe a few more bad stories about her and her companions. Instead, he’s left with more questions.

His jaw clenches as he exhales through his nose, collecting the mugshots and shoving them back into his back pocket. “Alright, thanks. Mind if I take a look around before leaving?”

“She ain’t in no trouble, is she?”

“No trouble. Just following up with something.”

The attendant shrugs. “Suit yourself. Just don’t cause any trouble.”

Acknowledging him with a nod, Javier bids a brief goodnight before stepping out of the stuffy office and into the dimly lit parking lot. His footsteps echo against the pavement as he makes his way towards her car.

His frustration mounts at the revelation of the unlocked door. With a touch, it swings open easily, the interior bathed in the soft glow of the overhead light. His brows furrow as he scans the car, his irritation growing with each passing moment.

He conducts a brief search but finds nothing of significance until he flips down the visor. The keys tumble out with a muted thud, landing on the seat. Javier curses under his breath, his exasperation boiling over at the sight. She left her car unlocked and the keys inside—an invitation for trouble.

With a resigned sigh, he returns the keys to their place, his movements deliberate. He closes the door with a little more force than necessary, the sound ringing out in the quiet night.

Turning away from the car, he resumes his patrol of the motel grounds. He glances at the few rooms with lights shining from within, unable to discern which one she might be in—but he knows she’s not here at all. This fuels him to continue sleuthing.

The realization of her absence only gnaws at his unease. Where on earth could she be? Is she in some kind of trouble? Did she purposefully lie? Is she being shoved in the back of a van to meet her demise? These questions swirl in his mind, his fists clenching at his sides in a futile attempt to contain his growing anxiety. His nostrils flare with each agitated breath, the tension radiating off him like heat from a flame.

He knows he shouldn’t let himself get so worked up, but he can’t help it. The mere possibility of something happening to her fills him with a sense of dread that he can’t shake.

Determined to find something, He presses on with his search. He even manages to corner one of the motel’s housekeepers, hoping for any shred of information that might shed some light. Unfortunately, she offers nothing new, echoing the same vague responses he received from the front desk attendant.

Feeling like he’s hit a dead end, he retreats to his cruiser, the frustration mixed with anxiety pressing heavily on his shoulders as he goes through the motions of lighting another cigarette.

It isn’t until days later that Javier spots her leaving the library, a spring in her step as she rounds the building towards the alleyway. His heart races as he quickly exits his truck and crosses the street, determined to catch her alone. His conscience whispers for him to turn back, but he ignores it, driven by his relentless need for answers.

He calls out her name, and she freezes, turning sharply to face him. He opens his mouth to speak, but the words elude him, leaving him feeling foolish for being so easily affected by her presence.

Rolling her eyes, she begins to walk away. “Wait!” he calls after her, but she shows no signs of slowing down. Closing the distance, he reaches out and grabs her forearm, hoping to halt her retreat.

“Don’t fuckin’ touch me!” She hisses, pulling viciously from his touch and the action hits him straight in the gut, having him set his jaw firmly because he knows he deserves this.

“Where the hell were you last Friday night?” Javier demands, his words sharp and impatient, as if he holds authority over her whereabouts.

She stares at him incredulously, a disbelieving laugh escaping her lips. “You’re unbelievable,” she scoffs, shaking her head. There’s a new intensity in her gaze, a depth he’s never seen before, and it unsettles him. Though always spirited, her demeanor now is charged with an unfamiliar energy, conveying emotions he struggles to decipher.

“You use me, break my damn heart, have the audacity to tell me to leave you alone–– and when I finally do, you’re actin’ like this,” she accuses, her voice heavy with vexation. “Treatin’ me like I’m just some doll you can play around with ‘til you get bored then get possessive over when you can’t control her. Have you not already caused me enough pain?”

For a fleeting moment, she softens but she can’t help it with the way his mopey brown eyes tug at her heartstrings. Even after all the hurt he’s caused.

He’d miss the flash of vulnerability in her stare if not for how attuned he is to her. She’s right, and he fucking knows it. He’s made a bigger mess of things, a realization that pierces through him like a dagger.

But then he remembers the anxiety that had crawled over him once he realized she wasn’t at the motel, how pissed he’d gotten at her recklessness.

“That’s not what this is about,” he retorts through gritted teeth, “All this shit that’s going on and you’re just disappearing off into the night. There’s a psychopath out there, preying on girls like you and I’m just––” 

“You’re just what?” she interrupts, her voice laced with a mixture of defiance and exasperation. “Please don’t tell me you’re ‘looking after me,’ because that’s a damn joke. I can take care of myself. Like you said–– s’not your job to be babysittin’ me. Go do what you’re here to do, Javier, and leave. me. alone.” she concludes, her tone mirroring the sharpness he had directed at her that night at the party. “And stop followin’ me around.” With that, she turns on her heel and walks away, leaving him standing there, tussling with the burden of his own sense of wrongdoings.

His gaze follows her retreating figure with a heavy heart. He catches sight of August, leaning arrogantly against his motorcycle with an air of superiority at the end of the alleyway. Javier’s entire body tenses, standing there seething like a furious statue. Anger flares along his skin, transforming his melancholy into fury.

August’s smug posture, coupled with the intimate embrace he shares with her, ignites a jealous fire deep within Javier’s chest.

Every movement, every touch between them feels like a taunt aimed directly at him, a reminder of what he has lost, even though she wasn’t his to begin with.

His hands curl into tight fists, jaw twitching as he watches his possessive hand boldly grope her ass. It’s a sight that downright torments him as his mind is consumed by thoughts of what could have been and what she currently has with this piece of shit.

Paloma dons the helmet and straddles the bike behind August, pressing herself against him, and that is enough to finally get Javier to tear his gaze away. The roar of the motorcycle engine echoes in his ears, drowning out the sound of his own tumultuous emotions as they disappear into the distance, leaving him alone with his bitter regret.

[desudog]

wait you HATED sweet pool omg. its my least fave out of the n+c releases ive read so far mainly for how flat the characters felt to me and how clumsy a lot of the plot felt but i rlly loved the aesthetic/general vibe it had so thats rlly interesting to me,if ur up for it id love to know what didnt click for u ^_^

when i judge how bad a VN is with my brother (avid VN reader as well) we use Sweet Pool as a basically "zero" on the scale of professional, large VNs.

Sweet Pool's writing was WEIRD. I can do some weird, thats fine. Weird ass-birth stillborn meatslugs? ... okay, ill... look past that. ok i wont lie, the constant ass-birth was hard for me. i really did try to not judge it on that but like, there was almost constant buttbirth going on. ive made peace with this by now, kinda making a link to myself about the connections of it to being an unintentional trans narrative in many ways and all but like. it was WEIRD. and kinda hard to read. it didnt strike me as horror, it struck me as "weird fetish i have to sit through. oh my god is he licking tha- PUT IT DOWN Z-DAWG. Ok christ."

The characters were also weird. I laughed out loud in surprise at how stupid the "i saved you from being raped <3 SO I CAN RAPE YOU, PSYCH!" scene was. like wtf was that??????

(I hope you werent planning on USING that butthole, mister!)

i did not enjoy the art style, i think its the ugliest N+C art style yet and since. not my thing. many angles and proportions look weird. the CGs looked stiff and uninspired. it NEVER grew on me. no shade to people who liked it or the artist it just.. wasnt my thing. not unbearable but just. not. as good as it could have been and def took away from the experience.

i didnt like any of the endings. it wasnt scary it was weird. the pacing was weird. for being a BL, it had very little love just... wtf. and im so sad abt what they did to mikoto bc i liked him before uuuUuUuUu yandere plot twwwwist. bleh.... dollar store keisuke! they would FORCE the true end so you maybe go, "maybe the true end is satisfying and good an-" no. its not. fuck yoU!

sweet pool was painful. i dont know how else to put my experience. i 100%d it because i 100% everything when i can, and i was literally pushing through like a hiker in a snow storm to finish it. every 3 seconds was secondhand embarrassment. the "jerking off in the classroom" scene comes to mind. i got up and took a break for that one because it was just unbearable. idk how anyone could slap one out to this vn. im not sure if anyone ever has. which makes the sex weird. actually, i dont think there was a single consensual ero scene unless u count the true end fusion scene.

(proof god does not love us)

the aesthetic/vibe was... ehhh... not super unique IMO. school setting immediately put me off, a more gritty and cool toned, dark palate made things interesting but, its still a "weird thing happens in high school" story. kinda bored to death of HS settings in VNs.

i did like the protag tho! he was interesting and it was nice having a chronically ill protag even if it was just a plot device to make him be able to miss school while going on a... dark apartment birth marathon.

sweet pool felt like a bizarre, amateur fanfiction for a fetish i dont have.

the soundtrack is very memorable as well as the opening pre-game sequence, i liked the concept of the choice button meanings, but they were very rough in actual use.

this is my favorite CG i appreciate the aquarium set up instead of a fish bowl (though he could do better...)

(shame about them turning into meat popcorn tho...)

i liked the iguana lol

i didnt care about these guys so much i dont even remember their names most of the time. except zenya. i liked him cus hes so cute and batshit crazy and has intersex swag.

(does this shade match my festering flesheye?)

all in all?

i give sweet pool a 2/10 butt babies.

--------- CONS:

no shortage of buttbirth stuff

seems to have lost the "love" in "BL".

some characters arent even original... FROM THEIR OWN STUDIO.

boring, hard to follow story

character focus on a character who has no personality. this guy is the gijinka of the hair that gathers at the drain of your shower.

designs that just are not very memorable or unique, without the personality to work with

story has routes but none of them were thought much of, should have just been a kinetic

confusing choice buttons

WAY too many choices for a VN with 3 candidates. makes 100%ing a drag.

predictable story

----------

PROS:

no shortage of buttbirth stuff, i mean, if youre into that

a soundtrack that makes up for the lack of good ero because this OST FUCKS

still a better love story than twilight

-----------

note: i read it in offical ENG, so i was no doubt getting a lower quality version. i dont think the original text would have helped getting it more than a single grade higher.

[demonfox38]

Completed x2 - Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (Sega Saturn version)

Madness may be doing the same thing over and over again, but hey. At least I'm having fun doing it.

If economics were indicative of what my favorite video game of all time is, "Castlevania: Symphony of the Night" would win bar none. Just off of the top of my head, this is how many times I've made purchases of this title alone:

US PlayStation Copy - $6.00 (disc only from a now defunct GameStop location in 2006, so don't get too optimistic)

Japanese PlayStation Copy - $38.00

PSP Copy of "Dracula X Chronicles" (contains a unique SOTN variant) - ~$40.00

PS3 Digital Copy - ~$5.00

Xbox Live Digital Copy – Free (promotional; probably was a tie-in to "Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night" being released)

Additional copies for friends - ~$5.00

US PlayStation Copy for my sister - $50.00

Sega Saturn Copy - $140.00 (2016 in Akihabara; keep the date/place in mind)

This probably isn't even the sickest I could be in collecting copies of this game. Hell, I've been hung over at a stranger's house with access to their Xbox 360 and thought about purchasing it there as well just so I could distract myself from being sick.

For this particular situation, we're going to talk about the Sega Saturn variant of "Castlevania: Symphony of the Night." While I had heard about this one before, I hadn't thought about hunting it down. Content differences aside, I didn't have a Sega Saturn, nor has the Sega Saturn emulation scene been particularly stellar. But, on the one time (and hopefully not last time) @jeannettegray and I were physically in the same place, she happened to find this in the retro game store we were in. At first, I protested. It'd be irresponsible to buy something like that, right? And then I caved because, as established above, I'm kind of a bitch (submissive) for this game.

Fast forward to 2023. I've gotten into the anime series "Lupin the Third" (again, thanks JG!) I've been accumulating some "Lupin" games because they're fairly uncontested in the grand scheme of video game hunting. Considering that at least one is a staple on the bad/weird video game tournament Kusogrande, that should tell you about how well they normally go. But, I did happen to watch a match for the Lupin the Third game "Sage of Pyramid," which seemed to be generally well received! So, I found a copy of it on eBay in a three-pack with two other "Lupin" archive titles. To make a long story short, I ended up with a Japanese Sega Saturn, plus a few extra games.

I know. Between this and the Nintendo Wii U purchases this year, you've really got to ask what's wrong with me.

"Castlevania: Symphony of the Night" is a title I have previously reviewed, so I’m not going to bang too much about the shared properties here. Game good; game great; game arguably one of the best games ever made. The Sega Saturn port occurred about one year after the original PlayStation release by Konami Computer Entertainment Nagoya (KCEN), a branch office (and notably, not the original developer pool from KCET.) While KCEN mostly made either portable versions of console-based Konami games or movie-licensed games, KCEN is notable in "Castlevania" development for both this and "Castlevania Legends," the GameBoy title with female lead Sonia Belmont. Which means that they:

Chugged women-respecting juice like water.

Got everything they did chucked into a historical/narrative paper shredder.

Given this development, the Sega Saturn version of "Symphony of the Night" is in a weird place. It has more content—particularly, in additions to Maria Renard's presence and playability—but is often looked down as an inferior product. In particular, some of the most ridiculed items include load times, transparency implementation/workaround issues, and sprite quality. And boy, did I see some actual, verifiable hardware issues. But, despite that, I do think this variant has some serious charm to it. At least, I'd be way more likely to come back to this version than the PSP version.

Look, if I buy a Sony PSP, you have the right to hit me…up for donations for a charity.

Before we can talk about this game, I think we need to talk about the Sega Saturn itself. Like, the poor bastard only seemed to have success in Japan. (Being $100.00 more expensive than its competitor will do that to you.) It was the kind of non-successful entity that when I heard the Nerve Tower recommending the Sega Saturn version of "Baroque" above all other versions of the game, I felt nothing but mockery for the sentiment. My opinion on the console changed somewhat after tending to a minor memory issue for the console. See, with old consoles or games dying, I'm used to having to buy oddball components and then getting help from my dad in resoldering them into place. With the Sega Saturn? It was simple as buying a new CR2032 battery (from a Wal-Mart! Imagine that) and just popping it into place.

Let's just say I have a lot of appreciation for a console that is easy to manage.

Now, if it were as easy to program as it was to fix, I doubt the Sega Saturn would have floundered as much as it did. I haven't done a great, deep deal of reading into coding for this console, but it seems like working with it required a great deal more knowledge than just popping in some C++ and plugging away. I suppose comparing programming for the Sega Saturn and Sony PlayStation is somewhat like the difference in operating a racecar versus an average sedan. In the right environments and with the right skill level, the former will out-perform the latter. But, at the end of the day, whatever is easiest to handle and cheapest to purchase will be used by more people.

Granted, "Symphony of the Night" should have been a natural slot-in for the Sega Saturn's library. While its best-selling titles were in 3D, a significant chunk of its library contains 2D sprite-based fighters. Weirdly enough, "Symphony of the Night" could qualify for this with its visual presentation and its control style. It's just…well…from what I can tell, this was KCEN's second and last Sega Saturn title. I don't think the experience or confidence was here for a perfect port. Hell, even notes from the developers themselves are frequently lamenting development delays.

Also—Yoshinori Suzuki is the realest for having a reference to Goblin music in his note. I'm more team Suspiria when it comes to Goblin music, but I have full faith that band could slay a "Castlevania" composition.

Okay. Enough sympathy for the devil! Let's get down to the game itself.

The objectives for this port of "Symphony of the Night" match up to the original base game. If you've got SOTN down 200.6% elsewhere, you'll easily hit 210% here. Does the math not add up? Well, it never really did. But, in this case, the first noticeable change is the addition of two new areas per map side. These new areas are respectively dungeon and garden-flavored, both of which make sense in terms of an addition. Neither add a great deal of room content to the game (capping at about 6 rooms for the garden and 3 for the dungeon), but they do provide some benefits, including:

A bridge piece between the Marble Gallery and Underground Caverns

New enemy types

A new boss fight

Access to the Alucard Spear (which, granted, is more important for Lecarde family lore than anything. But it's nice to pick up!)

These areas (and the castle's entrance) also sport some new tunes. Okay, maybe just "Chaconne C Moll" and "Guardian" are wholly originally. But, it does contain pairs of dance and jazz mixes for the "Vampire Killer," "Bloody Tears," and "Beginning" themes. Sure, they're the most 90s-sounding compositions on this planet. But, goddamn if that isn't exactly what I wanted from a "Castlevania" game.

I know. Real trash-core behavior on my part. At least give the "Beginning" remixes a shot before you take another one at me.

Item distribution and placement has also been slightly tweaked from the base PlayStation game, although it is generally in the player's favor. (For example: the Sword familiar is just below the save room of Orlox's Quarters instead of being in a hidden ceiling space.) About the greatest addition of note here is a cape called the Rainbow Robe, which cycles through palettes to create a constant color swapping effect. Very cool. There are also some different familiars than what is present in the US PlayStation version of the game, but about all that is unique there is getting a Half-Faerie that sings if you get her some lyrics. Which…thanks? I guess?

Honestly, the big content augment to the game is Maria Renard. Not only does she become a boss for Alucard to fight (having him prove his strength to her), but she's also playable! And holy shit, does she kick ass! Like, she generally kicks ass, but my God. Literal ass kicking here! Kicked my ass as a boss. Kicked everyone else's ass when fighting them in her mode. I'm not kidding when I say that only three bosses posed a threat to me while playing her. (For those of you that want to attempt this playstyle: it was Orlox, the "Castlevania III" trio, and Galamoth that gave me the most trouble.) If you've got Alucard's Dark Metamorphosis and Soul Steal input commands down, congratulations. You can absolutely slaughter the game as Maria.

It's wild. In her mode, she's got:

A chargeable magic attack as her primary attack

A triple and high jump

An evasive somersault (while Alucard doesn't even have a slide mechanic, so LMAO)

A base kick attack (for when you're storing up magic)

Access to standard "Castlevania" subweapons

Combo commands for summoning all four Celestial Beasts whenever you've got the MP (granting on-the-go healing, two massively damaging attacks, and a limited-time familiar)

A variety of martial arts attacks, and

Access to a full invincibility-granting move! (Like, you've gotta do a full clockwise input + a charge to do it, so it does require some serious skill to use. But still!)

Talk about a power fantasy! Like, no wonder people talk about the reset to Maria's move pool in the PSP version of "Symphony of the Night" being a downgrade. She's an absolute beast here.

Begrudgingly, I can see why Maria's abilities were augmented in later releases. To some extent, I think the IGA team was trying to keep in lockstep with the "Rondo of Blood" version of her, especially considering that the PSP game is primarily a remake and re-release of that game. And, okay, yes. She was originally designed as a tiny Belmont alternative. But in the Sega Saturn SOTN version? With her input pool and abilities? She's an Alucard alternative. Hell, her heal move maps to one of his recovery abilities (Genbu to Dark Metamorphosis), and her primary devastating spell is also the homewrecker in his (Seiryuu to Soul Steal.) She wasn't designed out of nowhere. She was just pulled from a different man's ribs.

I guess if nothing else, the PSP sprites of her are prettier. So…there's that.

Oh! Prettiness. Guess that leads back to the overall aesthetic quality of the game (or potentially lack thereof, depending on who you ask.) Personally, the biggest issues I had here were not so much with sprite distortion, but with load and lag. This game doesn't have the same load-in grace going between new areas or loading in boss fights as the PlayStation version does. It seems like it struggles greatest with particle effects, although bosses with multiple chunks and entities to them can also cause severe rendering delays. Hoo boy, does it not like a bunch of stuff on screen all at once! The Beelzebub and Legion fights in particular bring out the greatest lag in the system, so be prepared for that when/if you tackle them. Even Galamoth has some lag (although, I was using that to my benefit when possible.)

In terms of transparency compensation, the Saturn version does well enough to skirt around some issues. The trailing movement sprites are still following you, so A+ there. Some magic spells were altered to use white instead of using transparency, which honestly? I thought that made some look very pretty (Tetra Spirit in particular!) About the only place I could point at and scold was the hidden cavern behind the waterfall in the Underground Caverns section. In the PlayStation version, it is smoothly revealed as the player steps into it. In the Saturn version? It's like someone flicked a light switch on. Honestly, it would have just been better to let the player always see it, if that's what revealing it was going to look like.

Also, killing Fire Demons is particularly ugly in this game. It's just a lazy, nonsensical sprite swap (as opposed to the color cycling in the PlayStation version.) The Marionette deaths are pretty funny, though!

There was one point where the lack of full implementation actually impressed me. Anti-spoiler at this point, but the final boss fight with Dracula has a much different feeling in the Saturn version. Not that the move cycles he has have even remotely changed. It's the background! In the PlayStation version, it's a bit psychedelic—maybe more like something you'd see in an "Earthbound" or "Star Fox" ending fight. In the Saturn version? 100% black. Cheap? Sure. But, considering Alucard is fighting his father in a realm between the living and the dead—in a complete abyss—it honestly grew on me. Like, yeah, ha ha! The devs couldn't figure out how to do the funky color/texture cycling! But also? Absolute darkness works, too.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the bodily injuries I'm currently nursing post playthroughs as well. Like, my left thumb was taking some abuse from the default controller's D-pad, so I ended up playing through portions of Maria Mode using an HSS-0104 Virtua Stick. (Like I said—I spent some stupid money on this console.) I just ended up pushing the injuries from my thumb to my shoulder blades. 😅 I can't completely blame the game on that, though. I should know better than to do 8+ hours of gaming in a day.

By the way—I did confirm something switching controllers. It seems like this "Symphony of the Night" variant likes to pick up on Up button presses more than in the PlayStation version regardless of the controller used. At least, I was pulling the Fireball / Byakko spells more than intended. I also found myself thinking less in terms of hitting every button in a combo, instead just smearing into cardinal directions. Like, the Saturn seems to have more of a slide detection to it than I anticipated? It's the difference from going down + down-forward + forward to down and forward while smushing your thumb up. You just kinda go legato, not giving a thought about the intermediate inputs.

Okay, verdict time!

Did I enjoy the Sega Saturn port of "Castlevania: Symphony of the Night?" Absolutely! While it has its oddities, I hesitate to call this product inferior. It's definitely not as tight of an experience as the standard PlayStation version, but what is here is cool. I would put this in the same category as "Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow" in that if you can't vibe with the main game for some ridiculous reason, it's got awesome side-modes to back it up.

Would I recommend other people play this game? Of course!

Would I recommend other people buy this game?

Look. I know when I'm being ridiculous. This experience personally cost me somewhere between $300.00 to $350.00 USD. Like, what the fuck. Madness! It would have been worse, had I actually bought this game this year! I mean, as of writing, this game, complete in box, is trending at $219.15 USD on PriceCharting.com! Shit, I might as well tell you to buy an arcade cabinet for how ridiculous this could get! And then you've got to weigh the pros and cons of taking systems out of their native countries, what international buyers are doing to the Japanese video game market, the risks of transporting stuff that far, and so on. It's not something you can just say, "LMAO, do it!" about.

But, what I will say is that BizHawk has a pretty good Sega Saturn emulator. And also, I might have written some documentation on how to get BizHawk set-up for Sega Saturn emulation. Chances are you're smart enough to figure out the rest.

[xx-vergil-xx]

verg i really just have to ask you if it gets better

if you mean hounds: yes i swear!! i really truly do

look i’m all for media that makes u cry trust me i love a truly tragic narrative as much as the next guy but also — i think the sandman universe and its characters deserve stories that have hope! and things that end well!

the greatest tragedy in the comics to me is that like, morpheus really could’ve had a different life. he wanted something else, he wanted to y’know break his staff throw his books in the well be the magician who becomes a man, and these things were maybe accessible to him at one time! but ultimately the pressures of the narrative deny him even the simple things that would really make him happy. my god he just wanted to be loved tenderly and to have a good long rest and yet the change or die narrative he’s not only generated for himself but the actual nature of his assigned cosmic role has generated ultimately make him depressed and send him down a path he believes is inevitable and just. it breaks my heart. because he could’ve had better! he really could’ve!!

and so y’know as a fic writer who is able to enter the themes of the story and do some remixes and go wild, i’ve got quite a lot of liberty to see what happens when “change or die” is met with, slowly but surely, “change”. and i really do want to write stories that end with joy! with reunions and rightness and a sense that yes my god sometimes we will be hopeless but hope is still there, waiting to be felt! and though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death we need not be afraid!

and i know hounds is a story about grief right now but it won’t end that way, because i really truly believe that it shouldn’t. there is. a lot to be revealed. that speaks to a broader thing i feel about canon, a broader thesis if you will. a lot of what’s happening now is work to support that later thesis, which i’ll ramble about more when we get there since i don’t wanna spoil anything. hounds honestly represents like the most i’ve ever thought thematically in a large scale, so a whole bunch of what we’re in right now is context and backing for future developments, and is, by necessity, about grieving and loss and looking back wishing you could see things again, try again, start over.

to be honest, part II is me trying to write a middle state of a larger thing that will be revealed towards the end and that i’m loosely hinting at now (though it’s very very faint implication rn it’ll y’know get more obvious later), a thing that in my mind copes with the canon of the fates/blood oath thing plus the ramifications of dream being rescued, because i wanted to see if it could be done, if the narrative could be escaped. i hope that what i’ve got in store will feel right and true (and of course i hope y’all will enjoy it), but know that no matter what i believe that dream and hob deserve a happy ending. above all things.

(and also heaven knows i’m far too much of a sap to ever write anything that doesn’t end happy, i love these guys and the cosmic scale wildness of their narrative too much to see them end in tragedy)

so, y’know, tl;dr, on my highest honor it does get better. slowly but surely. thanks for sticking through it, friend, and you have my word that things will get better

[literalite]

hi seph! are there any (non-spoilery) fun character facts that you weren't able to fit on the character page that you wanna share?? All your characters are so detailed, and I love all of them. (AriLuca my most beloveds, though...) OC lore (and worldbuilding lore) fuels me (it's my favorite food), so feel free to ramble as much as you want!!! Have a good day/night! <3

oh my god i did want to have a fun fact section but i decided tonally against it and also i couldnt work out where to put it soooo most of my characters have been workshopped to hell and back so im just gonna list out a bunch of stuff that didn't make it into the final iteration of them and also some other stuff

ari actually ingame wasnt an only kid, she had a twin but i used mcc to cut it down to one because firstly i was trying to stick to the challenge rules, and secondly i'd been thinking about a plot for what would eventually become dgwicf already and for some reason her being the only daughter of saige and bellona felt important? and it did end up being important so 😅 good call past me

ithaca for some reason was meant to be allergic, like, badly allergic to flowers? can't recall why i decided that but it just seemed weirdly specifically improbably (especially with how the house is decorated) so i sort of canned the idea while they were still a toddler

all of the kids' font colours being warm toned are chosen that way to directly contrast ari and luca's who are both cool toned. also in the character page itself ive made their names the colours they'll "speak in", should be easier to identify who is talking when

of the kids in internal temperament, anna is most like bellona. and idris/(redacted) will grow up to be a very. um. interesting mix of lilian and saige. make of that what you will really

THERE WAS A MOMENT IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF DGWICF that i was planning to kill iggy's dog pickle. as a plot development. as u can see i refrained from doing so im not a total monster for the narrative. that dog is gna live forever

speaking of lucari, in the au where ari doesnt sign up for the bachelorette we (me and anji) did think that theyd have found their way together eventually 🥰 they run in slightly adjacent social circles so they wouldve had repeated run ins.. just seeing each other in passing at the corner store on the street in an elevator two people in the big city crossing paths until luca asks ari for her name (she's been hoping they'd start a conversation for weeks) and it all folds out from there...

(anji @anjellies did this ages ago when we were discussing it... one of my fondest memories of lucari they r meant for each other and i stand by that 🥲)

[espectres]

🔥 ABT CANON cause i like hearing u talk abt it

THANK U FOR ENJOYING MY SALT FILLED RANTS AHKSGFHKJS LOVEEEE

I enjoy mp100 a whole LOT I really do!! But there is always something to say when it comes to background characters, and especially shou lmao. Something I'm still surprised about is how open-ended and on a bad note his story seemed to be when compared to how everyone else's arcs went, to me, that's my opinion, LIKE ... main dudes aside, Tome for an example got to experience her dream and realize it wouldn't have been remarkable without friends by her side, she reached a fullfilling note in her narrative despite how little screen time she had and how minor her role in the story seemed to be, and most importantly, she is in a better place! Heck, even the dudes from the seventh division ended up starting a new life, with what little detail we were able to tell they are safe, independent, and becoming better people. Cuz that's what mp100 is about! Reaching a point in your life where you're at peace with yourself and appreciation of the good people who care about you, getting to a better place as a person.

Shou meanwhile? Everything about him is so vague! We got to see Sakurai and Koyama working at a convenience store. Why couldn't we know if Shou is going to school or not? If he's maybe with his mom? How is he doing? Why is no one concerned if the 13 y/o with dad in jail is alright or not? It's either vague or downright concerning. "Oh, his fire hair is gone, and that symbolizes letting go of the self-sacrifical tendencies becuz the rabbit jumped into fire." That's not enough!!! " Psychic powers sure are scary." "I'm not going to use them again." Now just tell me, isn't being afraid of powers and denying them what led to nearly every single bad thing that happened to Shigeo? Wasn't the whole gd story abt learning to accept these scary af powers and yourself and no longer supressing them?

In Shou's case it makes sense that he isn't fond of the side effects of being an esper, all the problems it brings, it's fair, you can see all the shit it made him go thru since so long, BUT. Having his story "end" on the same decision that made things start going bad for Shigeo is so disheartening, seeing how apparently everyone else is doing better by the end askjdfhsgka sad peach noises?????

You see, lack of story time isn't an excuse, Shou being a background character isn't reallyyyyyy an excuse. Half of the story wouldn't have been the same without him! Yet characters with less importance plot-wise didn't get the short end of the stick. As for a better conclusion, a simple thing as a single conversation with Ritsu would have done it tbh, they are both there, they already share a really strong bond, Shou sharing his new anti-powers rule to Ritsu and Ritsu, now aware of his brother's struggles, tells him to maybe not do that?? there are better ways to deal with your crippling trauma???? That's an open-ended sorta thing I can accept, cuz we wouldn't know how things would go for Shou, but at least he's not out there doing what the story strictly told us it's bad to do !!!!!! One-sensei, hear me out-

[bifrosted-flakes]

I posted 39,413 times in 2022

That's 29,337 more posts than 2021!

1,373 posts created (3%)

38,040 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@transgender-rex

@crayongirl

@vang0bus

@charlataninred

@antichrists-tealover

I tagged 4,077 of my posts in 2022

#tim stoker tuesday - 48 posts

#the mechanisms - 43 posts

#uscore &lt;3 - 35 posts

#thank you tumblr user same picture of nastya every day - 30 posts

#my art - 30 posts

#elias bouchard - 27 posts

#me - 25 posts

#mecore - 23 posts

#mecore <333 - 23 posts

#jonny dville - 23 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#every time i check frankenstein out of the school library he’s like ‘dang frankenstein again’ and i’m like ‘yeah frankenstein again’

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

❗️dailyquests follow

Eat a Fungus. now. eat the Fungus. c’mon don’t be a pussy eat the Fungus. you’re making my very sad. please pretty please eat my Fungus.

420 notes

1,068 notes - Posted October 16, 2022

#4

Jesse! Jesse! We have to. We have to make cookies. Jessie I can’t be the only parent at the pto meeting with store bought snacks again Jesse. Jesse. Jesse get up. Jesse I need you to preheat the oven to… Jesse? Jesse…? Jesse wake up this isn’t funny Jesse! Oh god…. Jesse…

1,943 notes - Posted October 5, 2022

#3

*hitting u with a baseball bat* HUMANS ARE BUILT TO LOVE EACH OTHER!! HATRED IS LEARNED NOT INHERENT!! HUMANS ARE INHERENTLY GOOD AND WE HAVE BEEN TRICKED BY THE EVILS OF A SELECT FEW TO BELIEVE OTHERWISE!! WE ARE MADE TO TELL STORIES AND TO LAUGH AND TO CRY AND TO LOVE!! FUCK!!!

3,250 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

#2

I think the thing people forget is that the Classics™️ weren’t always classics. There was once a kid who picked up a copy of The Catcher In The Rye and told all their friends about this great new book. There was once a group of teens who went to see Shakespeare’s newest comedy and talked about it all the way home. There was once a young Greek child who sat out on the grass every day to listen to the story of The Odyssey because he had to know what happened to his favorite characters. There was once a man who devoured Dracula in a few days because he was so engrossed in this new work of horror.

Stories are not born with yellowed pages and dog ears, they age with us and are always young to those who read them for the first time.

15,515 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Tragedy enjoyers when characters haunt the narrative, when nothing can be done to save them, when small moments of respite and happiness only serve to send them closer to their inevitable end

See the full post

32,926 notes - Posted June 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[chococats]

muv luv alternative reflect

start date: 2/12/24

end date: 4/14/24

~~~ spoilers 👻 ~~~

first thought on the story: before i even started i was so ready like i told everyone n their mamas abt how i was going to start this epic 😐. i was expecting A LOT bc not only is it regarded so highly by vn fans but also bc it left me with a slew of questions from the first game.. likee what was the relation of kasumi and sumika? was takeru going to fr survive this n if he DID is he going to go back to his original world? WHAT made him shift into this fucket up world in the first place? WHAT exactly are the BETA and why are they doing thissss😭😭 AND! IS takeru destined to suffer forever? Why?!

But now that ive finished it all.. wtf 😭 its honestly genius. a narrative that uses its medium and genre in the fullest sense!!! despite some of its outdatedness + my frustration with the protag the STORY TELLING is what kept me going. from the themes to the characters to the world building it was all so well done 😭 and its done in a way where it is satisfying to follow especially if you like to puzzle n piece things together. what interested me the most tho was the world building!! AND HOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE.. the game took all of the cliches and mechanics it represented as a dating sim n flipped them all in its favor to tell a crazy epic cohesive multi dimensional scifi tale.. WTF.

as a novel and a game it did its job beautifully.. AND even tho SOME arcs PISSED ME OFF n SOME scenes left me scowling at what i was dealing with (bc My god,! You will deal with the shit!) i kept coming back with genuine intrigue humm

my first initial thought once i was done was 'that was a LOT' bc My goodness what a fckin rollercoaster.. ONE that seemed to only plummet DOWN. As for my second thought..? 'at least we overcame.' and u know what. So true. To this i say Congratulations âge. I was unfamiliar with ur game.

prediction of the end: i honestly did not know what to expect for the end i just wanted my questions answered LOL! but when i got there it left me feeling both hollow and full.. it was heartbreaking..! BUT also cathartic?! cuz i cried like a bitch. bc. My gosh 😭😭😭😭😭😭 its some serious whiplash stored in those last 2ish hours in the game. it was worth seeing all of it tie together tho bc in the end it left u with a glimmer of hope for the future.. even though it is so so dim, its still there.. which was the kind of ending i need during these times

PLUS they played this song at the end like why would u do that. shit had me bawling fr. we used to be so happy hearing this. now it is a bit bittersweet and nostalgic.. like a memory

what scared you most: the capabilities of the BETA most definitely r u kidding me. every single battle seemed more n more hopeless 😭 every step that was taken to help humanity had high stakes. there was no way anything was going to be done without irreparable damage n loss. it constantly felt like a losing battle watching humanity try to survive and still have the heart to fight. but what TRULY disturbed me was sumikas relationship with the BETA and how they decided to tackle it. THAT shit had me pause the game for a hot min bcuz seriously? HONESTLY? it was overkill. beating a dead horse😭 they did not have to show me all of that N whats worse is that they HAD to drag it out. LIKE WE GET IT. WE GOT IT BEFORE IT WAS EVEN FULLY REVEALED WITH CONTEXT CLUES.. U did not have to dedicate a whole 30/45 mins revisiting her trauma in such detail 😭😭😭 so unnecessary my god.

even though the BETA are (by far) one of the most terrifying enemies that ive encountered in a story i want to know more about them.. the ending of alternative mightve answered most of my questions but it also left me having more bc its interesting on how the BETA operate. but there is also like an infinite amount of them i dont even know how anyon could keep up with that.. truly humanity has it BAD.

favorite character(s): meiya = sumika > kasumi = yuuko > ayamine >>>> the rest of the queens in the valkyrie squad (including marimo. excluding kashiwagi) >> tsukoyomi > takeru >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> kashiwagi.

i straight up i do not like kashiwagi LMFAOOO like i do not like her yall..

anyone else not listed i just didnt gaf..

meiya and kasumi rlly shined in alternative for me tho <3

of course so did sumika but thats bcuz i was always biased towards her LOL. however she didnt leave a huge impression on me in this story when it came to the romance between her n takeru which is crazy bc in extra i was full #teamsumika. cuz takeru n sumika been living side by side since childhood n now this random girl (meiya) shows up n she doesnt even explain her relation to takeru but she declared that shes going to marry him like fr who are u?! BUT! even tho i was team sumika, in the end (when truths were fully revealed), my feelings were a bit swayed towards meiyas favor!

its interesting bc in alternative it was like meiya n sumika switched places bc i was more partial to wanting meiya to be with takeru for the majority of the story (!) which is so funny considering how ride n die i was for sumika at the very beginning.. of course id rather have takeru have no baes at all bcuz his character is just so inconceivably dense at times (#TakeruOUT) but i felt that their relationship had more sustenance.. i believe its because meiya and sumika flipped roles where sumika is now the random 'newcomer' instead of meiya. n also bc i spent more time with meiya in unlimited.. BUT just like how i was with meiya in extra, in alternative when truths were once again revealed at the end my feelings were swayed towards sumikas favor LMFAOO

its just tht they are both so well written and humane and so so sweet and deserving. i really love them both therefore i have decided that there is no more #TEAMSUMIKA or #TEAMMEIYA anymore. ive ended the civil war. they are both equally beautiful and i want them to be best friends forever!

AS for the protagonist. Takeru. my god man 😭 talk about change. he STILL was so ridiculous at times but even then he STILL managed to mature. proof that anythings possible. I guess. And after spending over like 60 smthing hours with him n experiencing his crazy ass situation i have been able to witness and appreciate his growth ... U know what takeru. U alright............................... I guess

favorite quote: I dont even know if i have a favorite quote there was so much covered and so many great quotes in this.. if i HAD to pick tho its probably this awesome reminder:

instead of memorizing quotes im thinking of moments.. like when kasumi and sumika speak about their connection.. or when captain isumi gave takeru that pep talk before operation 21st.. OR WHEN sumika told takeru that in every universe she loves him and him saying that he feels likewise.. kyaa.. and u KNOW they MEANT THAT SHIT THRU AND THRU! its beautiful. im still praying for her tho.

rating for the whole book: despite all that it put me through this story left me a lot of food for thought. some moments moved me in ways so honest that it left me speechless while also giving me questions in its wake.. it took me a while to finish bc it had me stop n think about life and CHOICE multiple times in the realest sense omfg. it had me think of the serious unruliness of life n how do we navigate it when the universe decides to do whatverr the fuck it wants to do.. how much of our fate can we really control... AND when all seems hopeless how do we manage to find the will to continue on.. !? it all varies from person to person but ist deep shit. Very inspiring.. AND bc of how satisfying n thought provoking it was im giving it a 5/5. OKAYY

i def plan on revisiting the trilogy in the future and see if my first thoughts still ring true.. i also will be on the look out for details and hints when i comb thru it all again. but this first read was worth it and now that i finished i kinda feel empty LMFAO. i wish for more people to read it n talk about it so i can get on my soapbox n pick it apart. 🤦‍♂️

⭑⭑⭑⭑⭑

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

Your comment about the Bonten timeline and its superficial happiness after seeing a bunch of discussion about whether or not MaiTake will become canon made me think because like

While i honestly would be VERY surprised if we got canon explicitly romantic MaiTake (aka i really don't think it's gonna happen LMAO) it would really make that timeline narratively immensely powerful and just. very beautiful

Because... Michi is finally in a timeline where Hina is alive (and probably permanently this time lol) but still together with him and even set to be married soon. That together with the apparent happiness of his friends presents itself as sometime of an "utopia", just about the best outcome considering their circumstances (that could still realistically happen) and just about everything Michi could've wanted (well ig except being stuck at that store but even then he's in a better position at least? lol)

But it's just... Surface level. And choosing this kind of future would essentially just be running away from reality into a sweet dream

And when and how exactly does Michi come to the conclusion that, no, this definitely isn't the kind of future he wants?

... Only tangentially related but if Sanzu really goes after Koko in the current fight that would really give that one scene much more meaning bc it does sorta come off as "okay random but look at my new designs 🤩" setting a dead flag for your own past self tho.... That sure is some dramatic irony or whatever it's called lol

....i have no idea if any of this even makes sense bc it's literally past 4 and my brain and body are just in an eternal state of ??? but i suddenly had some Thoughts so thank u for this wonderful open inbox and the opportunity to just let them Out bc i swear I'm going insane. Maybe i do miss one thing about HS and it's getting to do fun poem interpretations

Oh yeah I definitely agree with you, we're definitely not getting canon romantic maitake. Hina's been established as the love interest from chapter one, even in the current arc Wakui has been sure to show takehina, he's definitely not dropping it for the ending. (Personally I like both ships so I'm fine with whatever happens).

When Takemichi first travels to the bonten future he only sees the surface level of everything, everything looks good to him because everyone seems happy. That's all Takemichi wants, he just wants everyone to be happy and alive. That's his minimum for it to be a good future, that's why when he thinks Mikey is successfully working overseas he's happy for him.

It's not until he sees the white haired man on TV and thinks Mikey is dead that Takemichi starts to realise the future isn't what he wants.

Takemichi knows Mikey well, he knows Mikey isn't happy without all his friends, he knows Mikey isn't having a happy future which is why he wanted to save him. I think if Takemichi hadn't have searched for Mikey he would've ended up regretting it for the rest of his life. I think he always would've been distantly thinking about what happened to Mikey, it would've ruined Takemichi's happiness in the future. I also think it wasn't a happy future for Draken either. To me he still looks upset over what happened with Mikey, I feel like he has a lot of regrets he's carrying as well.

The second Takemichi found out about Mikey the illusion of it being a truly happy future shattered.

[saintobio]

i am usually VERY PICKY with how a story is thought of, and written. i usually never get attached to fanfictions either and yet... when i say this... i say this with a FULL CHEST MIGHT AS WELL ADD MY ENTIRE BEING AND SOUL WITH IT TOO BECAUSE that is how much i absolutely love your Sincerely Not series! congratulations for finishing season 1 that was seriously wow... rendered me speechless. you are seriously the BEST i love your works so much! cannot wait to see what else you got in store for szn 2! and those last two chapters? at this rate y/n won't be the only needing a heart surgery ashfisa once again thank you so much for this masterpiece! stay safe and healthy! please take that well-deserved break to the fullest! <3

Anonymous said

as a writer, your setup of their character development and the exposition of it all was sooo effective! like giving gojo’s pov attention throughout the last few chapters makes you feel bad for him despite his previous behavior, and even though the wedding is seen as a good thing for y/n’s fresh start, i feel people can’t help but be sympathetic towards and even feel really bad for gojo. plus starting out with toji’s really warm and inviting introduction then revealing him as y/n’s husband-to-be makes her marriage to him seem really naturally, and it makes the audience more receptive to the development rather than hating an unfamiliar groom. ughhh everything about the narrative and build up is just so well thought out and planned really well and executed so excellently. massive kudos.

Anonymous said

Nothing in this world could describe how much pain I felt during the airing of this series. Every word, every sentence, and every paragraph is a masterpiece of its own. Saint, thank you so much for sharing such beautiful writing on this site for free. I remembered months ago that i binge read your oikawa street racer au to remember, forever to love, always and my pillow knows how much i screamed when I saw you posting a new series which is sincerely not. And God, wow. I just love how much emotion you made me feel while reading. Thank you for giving me—us the privilege to see you as a writer and your writing style improve and grow. I don’t know if you can read this with all the asks sent into your inbox but I hope you will continue to live a happy and healthy life ahead of you. Once again, thank you so much for writing and simply existing! I am so looking forward to your next works if you have any plans on publishing it ❤️

Anonymous said

Saint, Sincerely not is a masterpiece. No, actually that’s an understatement, because it’s so much more than that. Thank you so, so, SO much for all these amazing chapters and all the work you put into it. And thank you for not sticking to a happy end, because that‘s sadly not how our world works. Yes, it‘s so fucking painful; i can‘t even cry rn because i‘m currently on a train (i don‘t know why on earth i thought that reading the final chapter here was a good idea but anyways), but life‘s not a fairytail and many things happened between Gojou and Y/N that cannot be easily forgotten nor forgiven. Everything that happened was just… perfect. Yes, it was painful, it was heart-wrenching, but it was painfully beautiful. I haven’t been this invested in a story for a very long time, but man it is absolutely perfect and i want to thank you for that. I am heartbroken and i definitely need a good cry when i come home lol, but i can‘t wait what you have in store for season 2. Please take your well deserved rest and take care.

Anonymous said

Ahhhhh i was balling my eyes out through 90% of this chapter!! You have done a phenomenal job, thank you so much for writing sincerely not!! I’ve never been so invested in anything as much as I am with this. You are amazing, so please please please take some time for you and take a well deserved break and treat yourself maybe 😉💙

Anonymous said

HI SAINT!! I JUST WANTED TO TELL U THAT I'VE BEEN HERE FOR A LIL WHILE NOW AND I LOVE SN SMM<33 AND IM VERY GLAD U CONTINUED WRITING!I LOVED THE NEW CHAPTER AND AM SO EXCITED FOR THE REST OMGKCJS<33 - cupid anon (also pls take care of urself:))

@el13 said

I just can't tell you how much I love your work! I've been reading fanfiction for a few years now, but I didn't get that invested into it for a long while, as I did with yours. And with that I don't mean only 'sincerely not', but also your other series and one shots. I hope you can rest well and continue enjoying writing 🌻💕

@0003joker said

Yo…this finale chapter🥲…I’ve been reading sad stuff lately, I be getting myself depressed, why am I doing this to myself!!!😀🥲 But it’s okay because the sad things I’ve read are amazingly good, and this story Saint, SN, is amazingly good.😌 Get that rest in, those sleep in days, those eating good food days, get that enjoyment in because you deserve it.💛

@bakugousmrs said

Okay I just wanna say I LOVE YOU AND I'LL GIVE MY LIFE TO YOU for this MAGNIFICENT PIECE!!😭 Remember that Saint!! I love how you write this and making me feel every emotions acquainted with this Gorgeous Fic!! AAHHHHH!! I FEEL SO DEAD BUT ALIVE IDK ANYMORE!!!! The hiding-the-son part to Y/N and Toji were the fucking end game!!! gave me heart attacks!! You really went "THIS WORLD SHALL KNOW PAIN!" on us!!😭😭 I fucking love this! I just wish things would go better for the both of them!! I wanna see some BABY MUNCHKIN fluffy scenes pleasee!! Goshdarn it!! WAHHHH!! I WANNA GO TO WAR!! I FEEL SO HURT AND HAPPY AT THE SAME TIME 'CAUSE YESS!!! THIS SHOULD BE WITH SHAKESPEARE'S PIECE LEVEL OF APPRECIATION!! 😭😭😭 I don't think Y/N would really marry Toji 'cause I can't see their relationship like that, and what happened to the ballerina chick huh? Why? Huhuhuhu

And you are always welcome we literally love you on all ways possible. We appreciate your hardwork, time EVERYTHING and we will always be here for you!! This is one of the best thing I have for my entire life, meeting you was a wonderful, yet disasterous at the same time 'coz you make crazyyy! I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE YOU! Take care of yourself 'cause we can't do that when some of us are on the other side of the world 🌎! I love you!!

@kazbrkker said

Saint you absolutely outdid yourself with Sincerely Not. It has been such a ride and I’m so damn happy that you can finally get some well deserved rest. Love you! 🖤

Anonymous said

sincerely not is one of the best fanfics i’ve read of all time and i have not cried as much or contemplated the events this heavily afterwards when reading any other fic and because of that i am immensely terrified for the sequel…that is all

@gojo-catoru said

You a legend for this one Saint. This was so bloody brilliant. I can’t even find the words or will to formulate how fucking show-stopping this one line was. ”But he hoped to every saint that he wouldn’t lose that part of him that loved you.” You have successfully and indefinitely raised the standards of both real like and fictional men/women for me. Now I’ll be single forever.

Saint, I can’t thank you enough for this amazing series you’ve so painstakingly write for us. I am one of those readers who stayed up late on update days to read the new chapter and then maybe catch some Zzzs (but I am a regular insomniac so no worries there). And each update was TOTALLY worth the hype and wait. I know firsthand that it’s not AT ALL easy to write such a complex and nuanced story, especially when it’s a weekly affair and 10k+ words, but you’ve done extraordinarily well and took us on a magical adventure for the past few months.

On a more personal note, thank you for giving me something to look forward to each week and letting me be a small part of an amazing fandom you have. I loved going through all the gallery pictures, the asks and the character interviews. It’s all the extra tidbits like these that sets fanfiction apart, in a league of its own as compared to novels and other books. I’ve never read an ongoing series before this one because I can’t handle the wait and suspense, but Sincerely Not kinda cured that and has made me more patient and open-minded as a person. I’ve never really interacted with an author so frequently on Tumblr as well, so I guess that’s a lot of firsts for me, as far as SN and your blog goes. You are a revelation and don’t ever let anyone/anything make you feel less than that.

Now coming to the chapter and the overall story. I WAS JUMPING UP AND DOWN MY BED, whisper-screaming when you revealed the wedding was Toji x y/n’s. I looked like a fucking mad woman here and I’m not even mad about it. MRS.ZENIN ERA, HERE WE COME. Long deserved. Legend has it, if one (Y/N) has been miserable enough for months, thou shalt be rewarded with divine Toji d**k. I know it’s not going to happen that easily (especially with those plot twists you’ve thrown in there) but we are here for the ride (pardon the pun, just a thirsty hoe here). Megumi as an older brother melts my heart. I can’t wait for a slice of some domestic and (hopefully) drama-free Zenin estate life.

Coming to the Satoru part, I can’t even imagine how painful it would have been for Y/n to raise a carbon copy of his dada. Like dayum, Saint you really have it out for our girl here xD. And ofc Gojo got into a bloody accident, hell o would be reeling too if I just found out I’ve been mourning a death of a child whose be secretly alive for 3 YEARS. It must be painful to see your rival get the woman of your dreams and your biological child in his arms. The angst in this chapter is more on the interpretation end and I LOVE IT. I’m figuring this is where the whole memory loss thingy you’ve mentioned earlier is going to come into effect. Can’t wait to see that arc. Holy shit, I just realized we’re gonna get some version of a bandaged Gojo. That man has really gone through it but I’m so glad you gave him a therapist. Poor thing needs it now more than ever. Oh dear, I sure hope Y/N is faring well now, she does have PTSD right? I hope she’s getting therapy as well.

The most poignant part to me was the return of the rings, cuz I’ve noticed it’s part of your SN header (with the papers and all). It’s been so symbolic throughout the series. Like as if it was some emblem of love and commitment. Was it intentional or just amazing story-telling? Please let us know later. I hope you’ll take a nice long and well-earned rest since you’ve finally finished SN (*you’re free!* in a Dobby voice) and you take out the time to treat yourself well, indulge in a few pastimes you were previously unable to participate in and above all feel as amazing as you make us readers feel. I’ve probably already said this before, but I do sincerely hope that you’re getting as much as joy and fulfillment as you give the readers of your work. You truly deserve it Saint. Cheers! Until next time, then. ♥️

Anonymous said

I'm literally crying but I just wanted to tell you that I really loved this story and that you're an amazing writer, it was all so bittersweet yet so beautiful, I wish you all the best and remember to always take care of yourself! (I hope there are no mistakes lol I can't see through tears)

Anonymous said

UGH I LOVE YOU I LOVE THIS ENDING SO MUCH the depth of the characters was BEAUTIFUL your talent is absolutely out of this world my GOD.

i have to say, i’m very glad they didn’t end up together. i think gojo got what he deserved, it was too little too late, and i hope yn finds happiness in toji (endgame fr 😮‍💨).

personal opinions aside ofc, gojo’s story is literally devastating but incredibly written. the development is literally BEAUTIFUL (my own prejudice to his actions overshadows everything i’m so sorry saint 😭 but i still acknowledge his pain and love his excellently written development).

so happy to see this devastating story end so beautifully. the ending you wrote came full circle and i for one am incredibly happy with it (megumi being a big brother 🥺🥺🥺).

so proud of you for working through so much throughout this entire writing process, don’t pressure yourself for the sequel and take as many breaks as you need. much love 💕

Anonymous said

Congrats on finishing sn!👏👏👏👏

All these chapters, the words. What a feat! And you're still going strong with a sequel! You work so hard😭 take a long and deserved break and come back whenever you feel like it.

Anonymous said

saint, thank you for sincerely not.

it will go down as possibly my favourite fanfic of all time.

thanks for putting your time and energy into making the story and i’m so glad you’re gonna continue writing on this platform.

you’re too good at writing. really. it’s unmatched.

i used to have problems with writing angst and ever since i discovered your account, angst is somehow all that i’ve been writing. so thanks for that too:)

congratulations on finishing the series, i cant wait for SN2 and i’m so proud of you

(also if gojohime actually happens in SN2 i will lose my mind)

Anonymous said

First of all

Saint. Thank you SO MUCH for making my nights so special waiting for an update and reading this masterpiece. Because of you and your work I met new people in your discord server and I learnt better grammar and new words which helped me getting my English certificate so again a huge thanks for all of this.

Your talent in writing is sooo good, I hope one day you decide to write a book cause I will definitely read it… Also if you decide to stop writing fics (of course I will support you in any decisions) and I wanna say that I will miss you and your writing so much..

Sincerely not has made me go through so many emotions like nothing else.. the writing style, the plot, the way you describe characters it’s just amazing…

I have a feeling that SN2 will be more heartbreaking but I’m ready for it haha..

And the Toji x MC (I loved it since I’m a certified Toji simp) but it hurt.

Hope Satoru will be okay and gets to meet his child properly one day my dude suffered enough (can’t believe im saying it omg)

Anyway thank you again Saint for everything you have done to provide us with such a masterpiece, take all the time you need to write SN2 no one is pressuring you and see you in SN2 I guess.

Take care of yourself

@girlruby23 said

Saint i know you said itll be a happy ending and i trust you but what really do you mean by happy ending bcz its a gojo x yn fic and im dying for them to end up together 😭😭

Please saint have mercy 😟😟

And Congratulations on completing the 1st season we saw you go through so much to complete it and trust me you outdid yourself, it was a rollercoaster ride and one of the highlights of my year. Thanks❤️

Anonymous said

can i just day that my bday is gonna be on this sunday so that finale was a great bday gift so thank you cuz u just made my whole week. YOU'RE WRITING IS SO GOOD OMG THAT CHAPTER MADE ME UGLY CRY AND JUST WTF AAAJAHSHHSHEHSHSH I HOPE ALL THE GODS BLESS U FOR UR WORK SAINT ILYSMMM

@asdfghjkl7things said

Omg.. Omg.. Gojo stay with us pleasee 😭 I was reading your latest chapter while I’m at work and I can feel my eyes getting wet.. I just can’t.. 😭😭

Please have a good rest too since you finished SN, you really deserved it! The story is too good that I cannot wait to read SN 2! 🥰🥰🤯

I don’t want to leave a long ass message but Thank you for this story, Saint ❤️❤️

@chicsailorscout said

Amazing finale I’m so shook and tearing up! 😭🤯👏🏾 you’re such an amazing writer! I look forward to the sequel 😎 ❤️

When Y/N dropped the flowers (I’m just thinking aloud here 😅) I betting that she either fainted from anxiety/stress and/or her heart condition came back 🤔 😭

@wobblewobble822 said

Aghhh! As always amazing and very heartbreaking 😩

Crossing fingers that Gojo survives and also (don’t hate me) postpone the wedding with Toji cause we get cold feet after seeing Gojo.

Also yes! Baby Gojo lives! 😩🥰❤️❤️

@sanzudopeamine said

Dear Saint,

Thank you so much for all the hard work that you put in writing Sincerely Not. It had been one hell of a journey reading this beautiful creation of yours. I really enjoyed each and every chapter from start to finish and still looking forward to the sequel. (Though I'm not sure if it's still happening after reading your note on the last chapter).

Anyways, whatever you decide to do, I hope you always keep safe, happy and healthy. ❤️

Anonymous said

Brilliant job as always Saint! While my heart has broken millions of times reading your fics, this one particularly is the first to once get me hooked! I’ve read many good angsty stories from many fandoms, but just how you’ve fluidly shown all the cards of each character and just how human they are (regardless of their mistakes/emotions/etc *not excusing any infidelity/crimes/etc*) and the attention to every scene makes me feel I’m running alongside them in this journey (despite us being the MC). This is one of the first stories I’d be happy with either ending (besides wanting some reconciliation from y/n and Satoru)! Continue your great work (while I wipe my tears) 😀🥰✨✌🏼

@fanficbrainrots said

hi saint! first of all, amazing chapter. the build up, the tension is like... WOW! tbh, i can't describe the emotions i currently feel after reading. i just wanted to address and applaud your magnificent writing first and foremost, since it's something that i've always wanted to say. i've never felt so emotionally captivated by a person's writing until i've stumbled on your page. (hold on i have a pt 2 of this. i didn't know that ask boxes have character limits pls, i'm not tryna spam you)

secondly, MIWA?! i love miwa soo so much. i feel like she represents a lot of us readers who see the good side in gojo. of course, the public and y/n's family will look at him in a different light, since they see gojo through another perspective, but i feel like miwa is the closest person to know both sides of the story (or at least, gojo's character.) (UGH how do people submit longer asks? pls help, it's limiting me again. saint i swear, i'm not trying to spam you. anyways this is pt 2, ig)

someone who witnesses gojo's character growth as a man who did not love his wife to ordering gifts for her and actually see his love grow for y/n over time. i'm not sure if her characterization representing us in a way is intentional, but i'm so glad that she did. again, phenomenal writing saint, you are truly an inspiration for many writers, especially me. (SAINT I'M SORRY, I HAVE ONE MORE POST AFTER THIS. (this is pt 3, i think??) idk, someone pls help me extend my ask limit)

i'm so happy to have had 'sincerely not' coincidentally pop up on the recent 'gojo x reader' tag back in july, because if i haven't read any of your stories, i don't think i would've had the courage to dive into fanfiction writing.i can't wait for the finale of sn and s2! (ok this is embarrassing but i'm done. sorry if it seemed like it was spam, but clearly idk how tumblr works! i just had a lot to say about my appreciation towards you :) )

i can’t thank u guys enough !!! i wish i could respond individually but i don’t wanna spam the dash so i’m compiling them. i sincerely appreciate every feedback/message i received from all of u 🥺 thank u sm for supporting sn and for giving this series a chance to grow like this. it’s a joy for me to see how many people have been/are invested in this fic. i’ll work harder for season 2 <33

[ribbononline]

Ponyo au hc hours you already know what time it is!!

HONESTLY i call it the ponyo au. its mostly just ponyo pre-ponyo. its just me stealing what little backstory we know of fujimoto and granmamare and running with it (and kind of changing it to fit my own narrative bcus thats what I do!!)

as always forgive that this isnt rlly written up properly i mostly write these to collect my own thoughts ;;U;; Archie takes Granmamares role as giant ruler of the sea!

Maxie gets Fujimotos role of wizard going trough a midlife crisis

Archie usually stayed down in the underwater kingdom he has like. way way down in the depths of the ocean but happened to be exploring up above when he found a human Drowning. Feeling bad and taking pity on them he ended up saving them by infusing them w a part of him- essentially giving them minor powers to control water, but also losing their status as a human and meaning they would die if they dried out now.

POV shift you are Maxie you just had a near death experience, you are now stuck in the ocean with no one you know and barely any humanoid creatures around at all (it’s mostly just friendly fish and some… vaguely human resembling creatures based of whatever the fuck ponyos sisters had going for them) Long story short! You are not having a good time.

Archie did his best to make m feel comfortable bcus he felt. really bad! but eventually ended up making a place to stay closer to the surface (and protecting it with currents) so they could at least kind of vibe on land sometimes (rainy days for the win!)

Over the years they ended up getting closer n eventually! Started dating n got married

-Archie can shift sizes from Giant God Of The Sea to just a slightly tall regular man

-Maxie has minor water magic powers thanks to Archie- but he’s also got a bunch of magic potions he likes to make that do a whole array of stuff. He’s just always been like that

-Rainy days are the days Archie allows himself to be dragged out of the ocean for a while so Maxie can show him around places he liked. They can’t ever go too far from the ocean for safety’s sake, but they make do with what they have!

-Archie cannot turn the glowy off and Maxie ended up stealing a sleeping mask from a store bcus dear god dear Im trying to get some rest

-The store was run by Courtney and Tabitha. Tabitha still isn’t sure how a flush of water managed to break trough the window, take a sleeping mask off the shelves and break out trough another window, but he’s SURE it wasn’t natural and is investigating. Courtney is just along for the ride

-Matt and Shelly work for ocean wildlife preservation but they’ve heard rumours of a person living in the ocean and of a giant glowing presence sailors sometimes see at night when they’re lost at sea and they are trying to learn more

[pikahlua]

I know the dfo theory isn’t ur favorite, so is there anything u want to see regarding deku’s father? Like do u just want him to be a regular civilian or something?

I’m iffy on the dfo theory so i’m not gonna go into it, but i always thought it would be cool if deku’s dad was a criminal of sorts (again not afo cause i’m iffy on that but ya know just regular criminal stuff) because it kinda reenforces that whole “good is born from evil” type thing (which i think was mentioned in the manga??? I’m not sure). Idk it’s just a fun thing to theorize about.

Sorry to bother u about it I just wanted to know what u would like to see. Deku’s dad is basically a blank slate and it’s fun to see what others theorize about him.

I want very little.

No, I don't mean I'm fine with anything. I mean I very specifically want him to have a minor role at best.

Once upon a time I did really enjoy the DFO theory. I even had fun with the Compress = Hisashi Midoriya??? theory for a week.

What changed? We got closer to the ending of the story.

The severe lack of Hisashi Midoriya thus far means that his inevitable introduction can only have so much narrative weight. If he ends up being a big character, I can't imagine it being anything but forced.

Like, did you see the reaction to Star's introduction? Some people loved her, but whether or not they loved her, the vast majority of people still expect her to be a one-shot cannon-fodder deus ex machina character meant to give AFO a quirk he needs to be even more supervillainous than he already is. This is all because there has been NO LEAD-UP to her character (or the lead-up you could discuss is minimal and recent story-wise and not worth mentioning).

Hisashi Midoriya at this point has the exact same problem. There has been no lead-up. If he's given any role that isn't incidental, then any themes he serves to further will just seem shoehorned in and poorly written. I don't want it. I'd rather see more of the characters we already have and know and love. I'd rather they further the story.

Of course, if it turns out MHA has many more chapters in store, enough to properly develop a blank-slate character, then I will change my tune. That much hasn't been made clear, so I'm just operating on the assumption that we've got less than 100 chapters left.

And I don't have any animosity toward other people who want something else out of Hisashi Midoriya. I don't scoff at anyone who believes the DFO theory is true or any other theories regarding the man. Heck, Horikoshi, here's my open invitation to prove me wrong and bring this dude in as an amazing character that properly fleshes out some long-standing theme of the manga. If you can do it, PLEASE! Be my guest! I'll eat my words with relish!

[lee-scribbles-and-doodles]

S3 ep4

LEEEEETS GOOO!

Girl Stinky fighting Grandpa for Sal's honor 😍

So many Sams😲

Can the narrator pls shut up

"After they yanked it away they turned their attention on us." "actually I think they were more interested in me."

"Looks like it's time to boil the haggis" I love u Grandpa Stinky

"Need any help?" "No, I've been dreaming of this for years." *Continues to shoot Sam clones*

Skunkape loosing his mind

Oh geez, the dogglegangers kidnapped him

Girl Stinky still denying her obvious relationship with Sal

Oh hey I can make toast... Never mind then 😕

"Ah, I remember when I was a toaster."

Max and Grandpa are having a little too much fun shooting the clones

Why does Stinky have a picture of the DeSoto???

Well, the plan to turn into the DeSoto failed

I really didn't need to read minds to figure out how to get out, but I guess it was a good way to remind players of the tunnel

"Max is so powerful now... Soon he won't even need a partner."

Ew, Grandpa wants to sell clone meat 🤢

Sam struggling to not eat a fudgcicle is super relatable

Oh the tunnel is blocked. Knowing Girl she probably has a backup

I knew it.

"Happiness is a warm gun." "My gun is always warm... and a little bit moist." WHAT

*Gives clone a peanut butter ball* "Ew. It has peanut butter dog mouth. I hate when I do that."

Haha I made Sam eat a peanut butter ball now he's doing that dog lip smack thing

Oh hey, we can take a fudgcicle now. ...Oh, I know what to do!

Presidential Alert: The Stinky's are fighting!

Why does Girl Stinky's tunnel lead to a cloning facility?

The clone Sam approves of Sam's outfit

He stole Sam's hat!!!

"That's strange." yeah, you think!?

"--unholy army of sexually provocative Sam clones" What you just call them Max 👀

Cthulu tenticles!!!

They have spikes

"I'm thinking of a number between--" "Potato!" "That's uncanny."

Sam

"Momma sure does love a nicely turned Sam gam."

This episode is quickly turning into Max repeatedly saying how hot he thinks Sam is 👀

I guess let's explore the tunnels

Ooh the museum

Doctor Norrington? We get to meet him?

Nope :(

When they jumped back into the tunnels Max raised his hands up and Sam picked him up 😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰

Back through the tunnels

The shadow physics are all messed up

Boscotech!

Harry and Superball are trying to contact Momma. Can she not appear anymore?

Queen? Where are you?

"Keep your eyes peeled, Max." "Ugh, that's disgusting, Sam."

"What do you know about these scary--" "But dashing!" "--toy stealing Sam clones." oh max

"So you don't know where Momma Bosco is?" Sam says with a huge sad face

Superball my love

Max smokes Cuban cigars

"Yes sir, quite the coinkydink."

"I'm going to stand over here and try to shake off the memory of you saying balliwick." *,Literally stands in corner shaking his arms side to side* Max. I love you

*Harry insults Sam* *Max jumps to his defence*

"I'm afraid the contents on my mind is classified, sirs."

I'm going to find Sal

The hat thief stole the car!!!

Buster Blaster!!!

"Max." "that's what they call me at the manipedi." The boys get manicurs

I can't get to Sal or Buster Blaster because of the clones :(

Look a buster blaster's future and he's just floating through space shouting "This is totally awesome!"

Back to Stinky's

Flint Paper!!!

Flint's mind is just noir narrative... As it should be

Girl Stinky realized Max has been reading her mind

Sam and Max role-playing as Flint and Girl has me laughing

Girl tied Sam up into her lies

The fact that the boys don't realize who Mr. S is is astonishing

Great I have to find a cake. Back to Sal?

The clone Sam hugging the stuffed Bunny 🥰

Sam was doing the same to Max 😍

Love for legomorphs is stored in the dna

Oh hey I missed Charlie the first time

Max shares the creeped out feelings Charlie gives me. Good

Sal knows how to cook 💖

Sal is an artist 🥰

I love Sal

OMG is there actual blood on the cake

No! Don't eat Max!

Sam got a kiss from Stinky, lucky dog. I can't tell if he's surprised or grossed out 😂

Flint and Max are disgusted by the kiss

Oh to be kissed by Girl Stinky... or Sybil... Or Momma Bosco.

Sal doesn't want to kill. Good man

Girl and Sal are my new otp

Oh no, power het couple are possessed

Ok, I'm going back to boscotech for now to mess with Harry now that I have Charlie

Max really hamming it up

Oh hey, Max actually summoned Momma

Agent Superball just teleported?!

What is going on with him?

Also he has OTHER superiors

Momma are you hiding something?

"mmm-mm-mm, those shorts sure don't leave anything to the imagination, do they?"

Was Max right, does Momma have a thing for Sam?

Lol she was lying.

She seems to feel guilty about selling her cloning machines.

Max don't you dare mention the poppers in front of me!!!

It's pretty obvious it's Papierwaite

I like it when she spins

Oh, are we going to track down Bosco to get more DNA for her new body?

I'm going to take to Buster Blaster

"Hey, you wouldn't happen to know anything about those Sam clones running around?" "THOSE ARE REAL?" "Yeah." "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!"

He gave us a letter to give to Momma from Bosco.

"See ya Buster." "I AM BECOME DEATH!"

Sam called Bosco "baby Bosco"

Oh hey, I probably should have tried reading Papierwaiite's mind already

Sam picked Max up so he could type in the code

Ew, Norrinton is a chest burster cthulu

Everyone keeps making fun of Sam's weight :(

Max's reaction to Norringron's grandson being named Junior is great

I used the destabilizer to look for the weapon and now Sam is crying profusely

That Romeo and Juliet reference tho

He's fine now

Well that was a lot of trial and error

Got the new toy and killed the tentacles

Time to get Momma a new body

Momma is bald. That's fine

Love that she's fully clothed even though that doesn't make any sense

Yay shooting things!

Oh no we made Sal fall

Momma is so excited to telport

Aw, she held Max's hand while Sam patted his head ❤️

She punched out Girl! Go Momma!

Ha, we made the clones dance.

Yay, we figured out where the toybox is.

AAAAH

I knew Charlie was going to be evil!

I hate evil dolls

The clones knocked the boys out

We're at the statue of liberty now???

Ew, she's got tenticles

Charlie wants to be reunited with Junior. Can't let that happen since it'll cause the apocalypse

Max is more concerned for Sam than the world

Charlie kidnapped Norrinton

Sam is still struggling against the thrall

Oh hey, got Charlie to let Sam talk

Let's mess with the sheet music

The liberty puzzel was fun

Oh shit, did Charlie just kill Norrington and Papierwaite

Ooooh, Max is all glowly

Ok, that last puzzel was kinda easy

Sam got his hat back!

Max, oh no he fell

Sam looked so scared

Oh Max, scared us for no reason

Oh God, he's scaring us for real now

OMG is this because he swallowed some demon yolk?

He's so big and Cthulu-y now!!!

Shut up narrator!

"Well, this is new." oh Sam

Wait the episode just ends there!?

Gaaahd now I have to stay up and play the next one or die from suspense.

After credits scene... Did we kill Sal!? Nooo!!!!

[doll-collecting-aerialist]

AG Lines For Dummies

Your Truly Me is not a Create Your Own.

AG has made many character lines when it comes to their 18 inch dolls. Here’s a breakdown of the various lines, and which dolls are included.

Historical Line

AG started as solely a company that sold dolls with historical narratives, and the original dolls include Samantha, Molly, and Kirsten. Felicity, Addy and Josefina soon followed. The best friend characters are best known from this line, although they have also appeared in the GOTY line. The best friend dolls were often released in order to hype customers up for upcoming movies, Logan Everett of the contemporary line being the exception. The only best friend doll who is movie-less is Ivy Ling, as Julie Albright’s movie was scraped after the mass retirement of all the friend dolls, in favor of an Amazon special.

The Historical line was originally intended as a way for feminine children to see themselves in history, which is often a male dominated scene. At the time of creation, dolls like Barbie that depicted older role models were popular, and marketing dolls meant to be the same age as little girls was unheard of. The line was originally strictly for ages 8-12, however in recent years has been marketed more towards nostalgic adults and collectors.

The Historical line still exists, but is constantly fluctuating, often falling to the wayside. It is no longer the main interest of American Girl’s buyer base.

Subsections of the Historical Line include Beforever, and the 35th anniversary collection.

Truly Me Line

Known as also (but not limited to) “Just Like You,” “American Girl of Today,” “My American Girl,” and “Innerstar U,” the (currently known as) Truly Me line is a collection of blank slate dolls who are bland enough in their features to resemble many different kids.

Until recently, these dolls were marketed as being the doll version of you. However, with American Girl’s newfound commitment to diversity, they have tried to stray away from that notation, emphasizing that the doll is your best friend, rather than literally being “you.”

Truly Mes come in meet outfits that represent the children’s fashion of the times. Until the release of the “Trendy Girls,” also known as the “Street Chic Girls,” all Truly Mes came wearing the same meet outfit, however boy Truly Mes and girl Truly Mes have differing meets from one another.

Boy Truly Mes were introduced to the line in 2017 with the contemporary character release of Logan Everett. This was met with a lot of Evangelical pushback. No new masculine Truly Mes have been released since 2017, however the original masculine Truly Mes are still available to purchase.

The “Trendy Girls,” formally known as the “Street Chic Girls” were released in 2021 as part of American Girl’s diversity plan. While much of the reception was positive, the line had issues such as including a white character in a line heavily influenced by Black culture, and not researching well enough in certain areas to properly represent things such as hip-hop. Because of this, AG has dialed back their original campaign plan for these dolls, and now simply refers to them as “The Trendy Girls.”

Currently there are three Trendy Girls, each with colourful hair and a meet outfit unique to them.

Girl Of The Year

The Girl of The Year line began in 2001, and continues to be added to each year, with tradition being that the new girl is announced on Good Morning America. Girl of The Years are typically developed two years in advance, with the exception being the Gabriela McBride fiasco, in which Oprah called American Girl out for lack of diversity within the line, and AG responded by (poorly) producing a Black character in less than six months.

The Girl Of The Year line became popular during the year of Marisol, the third doll to be released in the line, and continued this popularity through the 2000s and 2010s. In the 2010s, Girl of The Years were often accompanied with movies and apps.

Until the latter 2010s, with the exception of the early girls (who had a weird release/retirement schedule), Girl of The Years retired at the end of each year. Currently, GOTYs are available for multiple years, and are available in stores such as Costco even after retirement.

GOTYs often have a color theme associated with them, as well as a main interest their collection is based around. Popular interests amoung the girls include dance, water sports, and environmentalism.

Now a days, the Girl of The Year line fluctuates in popularity. GOTYs often don’t resonate with adult collectors due to lack of diversity in doll design. Parents are also beginning to notice the lack of diversity and repetitiveness, with recent dolls like Luciana and Joss selling out again and again, while dolls like Kira fall to the wayside.

2017 Contemporary Line

The 2017 contemporary line was a line of three dolls released along side the ill fated Gabriela McBride. Gabriela was a rushed Black character who was not the original intended GOTY, and was made as a response to the anger about the lack of diversity within the GOTY line.

American Girl still wanted a way to release their originally intended Girl Of The Year; Tenney Grant with her “best friend” doll, Logan Everett, and so they created a contemporary line consisting of Tenney, Logan and Z Yang. Z Yang was an Asian character with a very similar appearance to JLY 30, and was based off an American Girl web series. Logan was the first (and only) boy character released, and faced controversy due to being a white character with the culturally significant Kaya mold.

This contemporary line released alongside Gabriela, and Tenney Grant was heavily marketed, with Z and Gabriela being mainly side pieces.

With the exception of Tenney and her collection, Gabriela and Z experienced many quality issues, and much of their collections were rereleases of previous products.

This contemporary line quickly retired, with no additions or mentions of it since.

Gabriela and Tenney Grant are still available at Costco, however Z has not had a rerelease, and goes for $200+ second hand despite quality issues.

World, By Us

World By Us is an upcoming line with three confirmed characters of colour, and was created in response to the growing criticism of their clear favoritism of white dolls with light features. This line is aimed towards older children, with the characters having light makeup, and attending middle school. The line seeks to talk about real world events/issues, particularly racism, in a kid friendly way. There is speculation this line will expand to talk about more marginalized identities in the future, with AG dabbling into “controversial” territory with Kira and Courtney exploring the LGBT community, and Joss being the first visibly disabled character (something they’ve seemed reluctant to do since the public reception of Gwen- a houseless character). This line is also rumored to be collaborating with the high end children’s clothing brand, Janie and Jack.

Create Your Own//CYO

American Girl: Create Your Own is an official GUI that lets you design your own doll with the various options given to you for $200. These options include 6 different skin tones, the Classic, Josefina, Sonali, Jess, and Addy molds, as well as exclusive outfits and accessories, and more. The CYO GUI officially released in 2017, and has expanded since then. The “CYO experience” is available in flagship stores, but is also available online. Dolls typically take 6+ weeks to arrive, and the CYO line also has a clothing design section where you can design various pieces of clothing with official prints.

The CYO line has been both praised and criticized for having exclusive features such as a light toned Addy mold, and a dark toned Jess mold. The CYO line also has an exclusive pink hair colour, and you are able to give your doll mismatching eye colors.

[illmetkismet]

Thank you @unseelieseelie for tagging me in the four songs I've been listening to lately thing! Sorry in advance if you were hoping for something cool, but I don't listen to good music anymore...

I listened to this a solid six times on Valentine's Day. Bublé's version is better than Sinatra's I said what I said.

Ok this one is actually good, but I only accidentally stumbled across it while listening to an NPR playlist. I was really into the kinda Beastie Boys in the 90's vibes this had and the shreddy guitar.

Listen, ok listen, actually the narrative of this song is so satisfying. I vividly remember that the first time I heard it I was like 😱😱😱 at the twist. How many songs have surprise endings? I don't know why I listened to this three times in a row either but something set me off I guess.

Heard this at a department store while looking at those foamy rugs to stand on while you're washing the dishes with my friend. Just some fun surfer rock shit.

Anyway that's all! I'm just gonna tag @slythermint and @stonelions because you already tagged Mad and I don't know anyone else on here 😬 thank u again!