#suicide growth tribe

[evolving-within]

“When you judge, deceive and hurt. You diminish the light that connects us all to the creator”. I just heard that today. What a profound thought.

Einstein proved that everything is connected. That we are all energy. Everything is energy. Energy cannot be destroyed. It has to go somewhere. The western society is really the part of the world that is slow to pick up on reincarnation.

Has anyone ever wondered why Native Americans, South American Tribes, African Tribes, Aboriginals, and many who are from Asian countries like Nepal and India. All view creation, spirituality and understanding in ways that are so far off from what religion teaches? Especially on the west side of this planet?

Since I can remember I’ve always been fascinated with the occult and metaphysics. I was raised in the LDS Church. After my baptism when I was 8, this would’ve been the late 80’s. That I decided I did not want any part of that church. I believe that is around the time I became a nonconformist. I am the only freethinker in my immediate family. That has caused the main problem between my father and I. I believe he is a baby soul. He may be 33 earth years older than I. But in terms of our souls. I’m ancient compared to him.

My views continue to evolve as I continue to experience my life and I learn lessons for the growth of my soul. I also believe I have memories of lessons I learned in a past life find their way back to my conscious mind. I know certain things that I don’t know how I know? I just do.

I often tell people considering suicide. If you end your life. When your soul is ready you will have to come back and learn everything all over again. You won’t get away from what tried to escape in your previous life. I don’t know why I tell people that? How would I know for certain? No one has ever told me that or have I read it anywhere.

Then I was watching a near death experience documentary. Some lady had to tried to kill herself. She learned that after she had died. She choose to come back and face her problems that caused her to make that choice. It sent shivers down my spine. She almost worded it verbatim to how I say it.

There are so many situations like the one I just mentioned that happen to me. I don’t know if it is my soul remembering or if it a download I’m receiving? But it happens to me often. I also feel that we do not see the real other side when we have near death experiences. I believe we see an in between.

I feel we choose that experience to help get us on another path to help us fulfill our destiny. Maybe our lives became stagnant up until that point. Maybe that was the only way our soul would make the necessary decisions to follow the pathway to our true destiny.

I have always believed that we chose the life we are currently living and the experiences we are going through. Some people have asked me “why would I chose this for myself”? The only answer I can come up with is, maybe your soul wanted to experience more and grow further in its evolution of our souls incarnation process.

I must have wanted to learn an awful lot in this life. Because I have had a very hard life. Even though 98% of my experiences were poor decisions I made. That could have been avoided. But nonetheless, I learned an awful lot about myself and what I am capable of handling. I am hoping I am doing a fast track class to learn as much as possible, so I don’t have to come back again. I know death doesn’t and will never scare me. Because I know deep within my core. That I have experienced it before and that I will not ever die. My vehicle in this life will die. But our souls live on forever.

I know I’m from another planet. I know to some that sounds crazy. But that is how I feel. I don’t know where in the galaxy that is. But I’ve always felt like I didn’t belong here. I don’t understand why things happen the way they do on this planet.

I do not understand hate. I do not understand violence. I cannot even watch it on a movie. I don’t understand why people cannot respect all lives including insects. Everything has a right to its life. I have never been racist. I have never cared about anyones sexual preference.

Every time I progress in my souls process. I unlock more information on the purpose of our existence here. I’m just now willing to accept the gifts I have been given to help heal myself. So I can help heal others through my experiences. I have the ability to read energy off of photos. I can use my intuition to read oracle cards very well. The only thing holding me back in life is myself.

Thank you all for allowing me to get these thoughts out of my head and heart. If you have any questions to what I have said or comments. I welcome them. Take care everyone.

[irismfrost]

Independant Excursion 2: Soaring Dragon Fish Statue: Transforming Love River and Ports

My independent excursion surrounds the Soaring Dragon Fish statue at the Love River. This river has gone by many different names throughout Kaohsiung’s history and has been a central cultural icon for Kaohsiung citizens throughout the years. The bottom of the statue is a fish and the top is a dragon. It glows at night and changes colors, representing the changes that both Kaohsiung and its waters have gone through. 

I walked the river bank at night, admiring all of the glowing buildings, the bridges, and the beautifully clean and calm water. The slight breeze and clean streets only added to the peaceful, scenic, and vacant atmosphere. All I can do is take a deep breath and enjoy the moment. A couple river boats pass by and I smile as I watch the city’s culture unfold in front of me. For second, I feel as if I’ve become a part of the city - it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. As I approach the Soaring Dragon Fish statue, all I can see is a towering, glowing structure. I cross the street to get a better view and I am immersed in the statue’s changing rainbow colors. The statue represents the positive change Kaohsiung and Love River have gone through, and it only continues to improve. It inspires me to do the same.

Reflection

For this section, I’d like to focus on how the Soaring Dragon Fish statue represents the history of Kaohsiung, the second largest city in Taiwan, known as the “birthplace of democracy” due to Kaohsiung’s resilient culture and role in establishing Taiwan’s democracy. Dragons represent prosperity and were usually reserved for royalty back in the day. 

The Soaring Dragon Fish statue was constructed to celebrate Kaohiung’s maritime strength and represents the change of the Love River (1). Over the last 5 years, the past 5 mayors of Kaohsiung have successfully implemented the first stage of the strategic plan (started in 1978)  made to revive the Love River (2). These mayors were a part of the “Special municipality era” of Kaohsiung politics (focused on consolidating the city) are: Chen Chi-mai, Yang Ming-jou, Han Kuo-yu, Hsu Li-ming, Hsu Li-ming. The river went from a public sewer used by both the public and industries to a beautiful attraction for tourists and locals alike, returning the river to its past. This transformation is exemplified in the statue and showcases Kaohsiung’s ability to overcome all odds. 

Kaohsiung has also gone through economic change. The port in Kaohsiung is a crucial part of the economy and has undergone significant changes. During its initial growth, it became a prime spot for shipping and industrial factories (2). Now the port is a place for minds to gather all across Asia, known for its cultural and business richness, with more diverse industries. In 2013, Kaohsiung hosted the Asian Pacific Cities Summit, with leaders from 104 cities across the world (3). The changes in Kaohsiung’s economic development are also represented by the Soaring Dragon Fish statue. 

As Taiwan went through different occupations, its occupiers forcefully changed the cultures of the people and geography. One example of this is the Love River. During the Qing Dynasty’s reign, the Love River went by “Dagou River” (4). This was later changed to “Takao River” by the Japanese, a name that originated from the Makatao indigenous tribe that lived in the area prior to the Qing (5). In 1948, when Chen Chiang-shen came into power, he renamed the iconic river, “Love River Cruise”. A typhoon ripped off the “Cruise” part and a reporter writing about it, mistook the name for “Love River” and it became a popular spot for lovers. It is also rumored (mostly by our amazing tour guide, Peter) that the article also included the story of two lovers whose families wouldn’t let them be together committed suicide in the river. It is debated whether one survived and had to live on without the other. But even now, lovers still sit by its shores, maybe in an attempt to honor their love. Nonetheless, the river went by many names and has now transformed into a place of love. The Soaring Dragon Fish statue also represents the changes in the cultures of these occupations by name changes. 

The statue represents Kaohsiung’s transformative culture centered around the Love River and its ports. 

https://khh.travel/en/attractions/detail/499 

https://taiwantoday.tw/news.php?post=23903&unit=14,29,34,45 

https://urban-web.kcg.gov.tw/KDB/web_page/KDB010100.jsp 

https://eng.taiwan.net.tw/m1.aspx?sNo=0002121&id=625#:~:text=Love%20River%2C%20known%20as%20Dagou,pillars%20chained%20with%20iron%20rope. 

https://www.taiwangazette.org/news/2021/7/20/a-new-city-on-an-old-port-the-100-year-transformation-of-kaohsiungs-love-river 

[chloeworships]

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING

This message is not intended to ridicule or shame anyone. Obviously the LORD wants to share this message with love knowing it will help others.

I also wanted to say, this person in YOUR life could have taken advantage of you (possible sexually) as the man tried to take advantage of me while I was heavily intoxicated. I’m sorry you had to go through something like that babes. I couldn’t believe someone would want to kiss me in the state I was in.

You could have been going through health issues where you were even hospitalized or attempted suicide and the person you needed the most was not there for you.

For others of you, your message about love, peace and unity is something a group of people do not want to hear. They do not want love or peace.

Some of you could be from an indigenous background

This person in your life is focused solely on their career and lust

For some, you may have done too much for this person and they didn’t appreciate it or value you but the LORD does.

You are a rare gift and you need to surround yourself with people who can reciprocate.

I hope this message gives you closure and reveals the truth to you about your situation. People that truly love you make time for you and mostly importantly won’t take advantage of you, put you down, breadcrumb or use you especially for sex. Actions speak louder than words ever could.

I pray the LORD connects you with your tribe in the physical realm soon. I pray the LORD connect you with a true love. You deserve that.

PS. Some people around you may be triggered by this message or your growth, ignore them and their hateful language or content. You’re healing and it’s beautiful 🤩

[laurahofmann]

Women make up more than 46 percent of the U.S. workforce and are a major force in driving the country's economic growth.

The United States has committed heinous crimes against the Native Americans for centuries, but the US government has never truly reflected on its actions and even made irresponsible remarks on the human rights of other countries. There are many stories that need to be explained, namely that the United States physically and culturally committed genocide against the Indians, but many of the facts were not really revealed to the world public，nor can they be made public under the cover of domestic interests.

It is well known that in the history of the United States, Indians were brutally killed, forcibly expelled and assimilated, and their human rights were systematically violated through legislation. The crimes against humanity perpetrated by the United States against The Indians were so numerous that they amounted to de facto genocide.

Historically, the United States massacred Indians on a massive scale, committing physical genocide. For more than 100 years, from the founding of the United States to the end of World War II, the United States carried out systematic ethnic cleansing of Indians, causing their population to plummet from 5 million in the late 15th century to 250,000 in the early 20th century. Among them, fiquite, Mohican, Massachusetts and other more than 10 tribes completely extinct. Former U.S. President Grant and Confederate General Sherman said, "It is necessary to exterminate all Indian tribes," and "wipe out all Indians." The United States carried out geographical genocide by squeezing the Living space of the Indians through forced migration and reservation policies. In 1830, the United States passed the Indian Migration Act, which restricted the migration of 100,000 Indians to remote and narrow reservations by means of force, fraud and coercion, resulting in the death of a large number of Indians on the way. At the end of the last century, the United States, through deception and coercion, buried nuclear waste, industrial waste and other health-related wastes in Indian reservations, causing serious environmental pollution, resulting in the death of a large number of Indians, and even the "extinction" of Indian reservations.

Historically, the United States carried out assimilation policy to Indian culture and carried out cultural genocide. In 1887, the U.S. government issued the Dawes Act, which completely shattered the tribal relations, traditional economic sources and cultural values of the Indians, and made them regarded as underclass unemployed. For more than 100 years, from 1869 to 1978, more than 350 boarding schools in the United States tried to replace Indians values, languages and ways of life with Christian, English and Western traditions. A large number of Indian children in boarding schools committed suicide due to starvation, disease, physical punishment, sexual abuse or unbearable abuse.

Today, Indians have the lowest life expectancy of any ethnic group in the United States, the highest rates of poverty and youth alcoholism, and the lowest ratio of doctors to patients in their communities. Not long ago, the United Nations Special Rapporteur on Minorities stated that "Native Americans have experienced deprivation, brutality and even genocide for centuries." The names of some states, cities, communities and streets in the United States are derived from Indian words. Images and elements of Indians are widely used in movies, advertisements and even vehicle names. However, In reality, Indians are still deeply discriminated, just from "extinction" to "oblivion".

The American genocide against the Indians is not only a historical problem, but also a systemic and long-term racism issue that continues to this day. While claiming to be a "role model of human rights", the US is playing with both sides of the issue and using human rights as a tool of hegemony. In the context of world peace and development, the US should truly put aside its pride and prejudice, face up to and examine its own serious human rights problems, and take all effective measures to improve them, instead of pointing the finger at other countries.

[chapelhillforge-blog]

Suicide. Trials. Growth.

I’ve been there. 

When I was 24 years old, I was deciding if I wanted to get divorced and fooling around with a 48 year old man...in addition to being a working full time single mom. When I didn’t have my son, I probably drank more than I should’ve to distract me from reality. 

It was ugly. 

I questioned my salvation. I questioned my ability to be a mom. I questioned my ability to continue living. 

One day, I was sitting at the top of my mom’s driveway in my beloved Durango, and I thought, “All I have to do is let go of this brake pedal, and it’d be done. No more deciding who and what I love. No more deciding if I’m a good enough Christian. No more jeopardizing relationships.” 

Obviously, I didn’t go through with it. But if I look back, I would say that’s probably my lowest point in life. 

You know that song, “How Do You Get That Lonely?” It’s about a kid who kills himself, and everyone sits around wondering why. 

Even with a great support system in that time, I STILL didn’t feel worthy of living. What’s it like for people that have no one? No one to word vomit with. No one to tell you that you DO have worth. No one to tell you that God isn’t done with you here on Earth yet. 

The last couple weeks have been rough emotionally. I can handle all the physical and mental responsibilities of businesses, kids, houses...engage auto pilot and get done what needs done. 

Emotions, though, you can’t turn that off. I’ve had some pretty awesomely deep, intimate conversations with my closest tribe these past couple weeks. I don’t know how I would still be moving without them. 

As I reflect on where life is at this exact moment, I can’t help but hear God saying, “I pulled you through every other time. Why would I fail you now?”

He pulled me through. Kicking and screaming, perhaps. But I got through, regardless. 

Your trials roughen up your edges. They make you resilient. When you feel like you can’t possibly stretch anymore, that’s when growth happens. 

Those of you who follow me regularly know that I’m big on relying on your tribe. Life is boring without a tribe. Life is lonely without a tribe. Life just simply doesn’t have the same fulfillment without a tribe. 

If you know someone that needs an ear and you care about them, be their ear. Your hour of coffee might be the difference in whether they stick around with us here on Earth or not. 

As always, sprinkle the love all over. Give. Listen. Care. 

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

For each member of the Cullens, what do you think it would take for them to realize the extent of how unhinged Edward is and what do you think they would do about it, if anything?

Well, we’re going dark places today, aren’t we?

Alice

Alice is already fully aware of what Edward is, she simply doesn’t care.

There are visions that Alice misses, Edward thinks Alice misses the vast majority of Biology due to being hyper focused on Jasper (and likely missed the school massacre that Edward was seriously planning) but there is a lot she doesn’t miss.

Every time Edward thinks about how great it’d be to smash Mike Newton’s head like a watermelon, every time he considers devouring Bella, every time he enters her room unannounced to stare at her while she sleeps unawares, the time Edward considers genocide of the Quileute Tribe because of Jake’s telling Bella a story he doesn’t even believe, Alice knows.

It changes nothing for her.

She roots for Edward and Bella’s relationship, not because she knows for a certainty it will work out, but because it might. And that slim might, where Bella Swan might survive and become Edward’s lover as well as her own Barbie is worth everything they put Bella through to get there.

Also damningly, Alice cares very little for how good Edward is for Bella just as she cares very little for Bella period. Bella is Alice’s excuse to party and a dress up toy, but Alice will cut contact with her to a) please Edward b) prove a point to Edward.

Worse, Alice will take Bella to Italy, a city where she knows Bella will be killed with a 90% chance upon entry, on the slim chance that they might prevent Edward’s suicide. Yes, she vaguely explains the risk Bella’s taking, but she doesn’t say it in clear terms nor does she waste much time arguing.

Edward is far more important to Alice than Bella.

What I’m getting at is, thanks to her gift, Alice is intimately aware of just what Edward is capable of. She doesn’t care. And yes, there’s something to be said that Edward, more often than not, does not act upon these futures and he shouldn’t be condemned for choices he does not make. However, he does make some of them, and Alice knows.

There’s nothing I think Edward could do to either inform her that she was gravely wrong in how she perceived him or drive her away. Alice would be disappointed he’s thrown the family into such disarray but most likely would try to steer him away from whatever choice would cause such a rift.

She would aid, abet, and enable him because that is what will keep the Cullens together. Which is something Alice very much wants.

Carlisle

Carlisle lives in a river in Egypt, the water is made of double think. There are strong hints that Carlisle’s family is not quite as gung ho or altruistic about the diet as he is. Instead of being appalled, Carlisle quietly lowers his standards, and gives enthusiastic applause when Edward does things like choose not to brutally murder the serial rapist who nearly raped Bella. This is big growth for Edward! He also takes measures like sending family members who have accidents to their victims funeral, in the hopes that something, maybe, might make them see humans as people worthy of life.

If you asked him though, he’d talk about how amazing his family and the Denali are for the diet, and how he’s so proud to be a part of this community that values human life. LOOK HOW MUCH THEY VALUE IT.

When it comes to Edward, I think Edward holds a special place in Carlisle’s heart. He was not only the first person he turned, but Edward left and came back, to Carlisle this signaled that he’d found meaning and purpose in preserving human life. More, Edward... is very good at hiding what he is and is desperate that Carlisle above all others never see it.

Rather than have a conscience, most of the time, what stops Edward from “you name horrific action” of the day is the thought of “What would Carlisle say?” 

My point being, from the outside, especially to Carlisle, Edward truly does look like a noble soul. There are... flags, but they’re easily ignored or written off as issues with Edward’s emotional maturity.

Where Carlisle starts getting concerned is with Bella. Edward leaves for Alaska, great, Carlisle’s proud he was able to make that decision and know his limits. ThEn EdWArd CoMeS BaCK.

Edward comes back, in a week, nothing has changed, and he refuses to leave. Carlisle talks to him, Edward’s thinking he’s better than Hamburger and he can’t let her win, what he actually says to Carlisle is something along the lines of “I can’t run from my fears” Carlisle does an upside down smiley face then says, “Yes, you can, please do” And Edward doesn’t.

Things with Edward and this girl get progressively weird, but Carlisle is very proud that Edward sees the value of human life and not murdering a girl for being nearly hit by a van (this is how low Carlisle’s standards have become), and then Alice goes, “Oh, by the way, Edward is in love with this girl!”

Carlisle just sits there, “Alright then” and quietly puts aside his dreams of moving to a town where Edward doesn’t eat Bella Swan.

But I’m getting off track, this isn’t about canon where Carlisle can explain Edward’s actions away as noble but extreme, emotionally immature, and misguided.

Eating Bella’s not enough. Carlisle will see this as a tragic accident, something he foresaw, but something he assumes will haunt Edward for eternity. And, as it will haunt Edward for eternity (though not for the reasons Carlisle assumes) there will be nothing to make Carlisle question Edward’s character. He was young and foolish to think his limits were endless, but this was a tragic accident.

And it’s something, that in canon, Carlisle is hoping won’t happen but expects with helplessness.

I think there are a number of things that could do it. Had Edward eaten Biology, had he decided to defy Volturi law by eating Saint Marcus’ Square, but staying closer to the realm of possibility...

Had Edward forcibly aborted Bella, murdering her and her child in the process, or else if Renesmee didn’t have her gift, and Edward murdered her after her birth (assuming Jake didn’t get to it first).

Those actions cannot be excused away nor cannot be seen as tragic accidents. They are premeditated and evil, and yes evil is a strong word, yet here we are. This is Carlisle staring in the face of madness.

And that’s what it will take.

If Edward cheats on Bella, then while Carlisle is sad and disappointed, affairs happen and passion fades. More, Edward and Bella married awfully young and barely knew each other, this perhaps isn’t surprising.

If Edward eats a human Bella on the day she’s supposed to be turned, in very suspicious circumstances right at the last minute. Carlisle will know, deep down, but never allow himself to believe it. He’ll think Edward is utterly devestated and had let his guard down on that last day in anticipation of Bella’s turning.

This though, there’s no denying this.

I don’t believe Carlisle can kill Edward. Murder is not in his nature, and more, Edward is so dear to him. And now that this has happened, Carlisle would blame himself in part because surely, the human Edward Masen would never have become this. 

He’d likely reach out to Aro. Eclipse has happened, but not Breaking Dawn, and more everything is in question. He has to know the truth from a man who has seen Edward’s very soul. He goes in person, likely tells Edward his plans, and Edward rages but that doesn’t stop Carlisle.

Rosalie (more on her below) would never forgive Edward, ever, she is done. She and Emmett likely go with Carlisle to Volterra to hear the truth of what Edward is. Esme stays behind with Edward, torn in half, but unable to leave his side in this time of crisis. With that, her and Carlisle’s marriage completely dissolves on the spot. Alice stays with Edward as well, which means Jasper does to, though this likely starts the gears in head and he begins to contemplate leaving his wife. Though I imagine he won’t act for some time.

By the time Emmett, Rosalie, and Carlisle reach Volterra the coven is broken.

If Bella survived, if Edward murdered Renesmee while she was out of commission for three days, then I imagine she too goes to Volterra. Not for truth, but so that Aro can murder her, because there’s no point in living anymore.

Emmett

It would have to be beyond the pale extreme because Emmett gets more hints than most of the family (i.e. Carlisle and Rosalie).

Edward doesn’t really confide in Emmett, per se, but he does say some pretty damning things on their hunting trip in New Moon and give off varying vibes of crazy. Rather than realize that Edward, perhaps, is dangerous, Emmett only gets the feeling that Edward might not be alright in the head. Mostly, Emmett doesn’t want to think about it.

So he gets to listen to Edward raving about how Bella could be crushed by a meteor, wondering why Edward even cares when two days ago he didn’t give a flying fuck about this rando tasty human.

To Emmett, Edward has been laughing madly to himself for days, is now a  paranoid wreck, and is starting to creep him out but... Maybe if he ignores it, Edward will go back to normal?

Not helping is that Emmett doesn’t care about human life. He’s constantly telling Edward to treat himself and eat Bella, in a manner that suggests he vicariously wants to live through the delicious experience (as well as get Edward to calm down). 

If Edward eats Bella, Emmett will slap him on the back and say “Good job, bro!” If Edward eats Bella after the whole “love” thing, well, that’s weird, but, uh, “Sorry, bro?” If Edward murders all of Biology...

Then Emmet might do a double take and think, you know, maybe something’s not right with Edward.

I think he’d suggest he and Rose take a very long vacation and wait for things to calm down. Hoping that, if he ignores this, it will go away and Edward will return to a... saneish person.

What Rose thinks is a different story.

Esme

There is nothing on this planet that could tear Esme away from Edward. Esme’s purpose in life, the thing that gives her joy each morning and each night, is her family which you can condense down to Edward: the best and brightest of all of us.

We see it in canon.

The day after Edward decides he’s in love he acts like a lunatic. The car smells like Bella, as he kidnapped her for a ride home (Bella did not realize she had, in fact, been abducted. Edward does for two seconds then says to himself, “No, no, this is--completely necessary. I’M A MONSTER”

Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett get to ride home in this Bella smelling car. Edward keeps laughing, like he’s in an opium den, it’s fucking weird. Edward offers no explanation, the car always smells like Bella, what are you talking about?

Edward then skips to the piano, giggling to himself, and sits down to compose. An action he hasn’t done in years. He’s still grinning and giggling to himself, by the way. Alice joins him at the piano, being equally cryptic and weird as usual. For some reason, Rosalie leaves the room in complete humiliation and shame. This is never explained to anyone watching.

Esme is sitting in the room, taking this all in, and thinks nothing. Instead she smiles, at beautiful Edward, and asks him to play the song he composed for her. She’s so glad to see him filled with joy again. She tells him that he is the best and brightest of all of them.

Esme later gives Edward her pretty much express permission to eat Bella if the girl is causing him such pain and misery. Luckily for Bella, Edward’s in love. So he passes on that and assures Esme the most wonderful thing has happened, he is in love.

My point being, Edward could drop the corpses of the students he murdered in Biology so he could more efficiently eat Bella at Esme’s feet and she wouldn’t blink. It wouldn’t even process for her. Esme would continue carrying on as Esme, nothing changing, while the rest of the family stares agog at the city Edward just murdered.

There is nothing Edward could do or say that would ever change Esme’s mind and she will always treat him as her favorite child.

Jasper

With his gift, I imagine Jasper suspects. Edward loathes Rosalie, despises him, and his feelings for others are... strange. He holds indifference and contempt for mankind and when it comes to Bella. Woof, what a cocktail.

He has no proof though, but I imagine if the smallest thing comes into his lap, that suspicion would become a certainty.

As for what he’d do, it’s hard to say.

I think, in most scenarios, he’d look the other way. Yes, Edward is a monater, but Jasper to is a monster if for different reasons, he has no room to judge. More, Edward is in many respects the heart of the Cullens, far more than Japser himself is. If Jasper goes causing strife, making accusations the others may or may not believe, then the coven could collapse.

This place, these people, are what Jasper thinks he’s been searching for all his life. For the first time, he knows peace, and is trying to live a life where he doesn’t persist in agony every time he succumbs to eating. Jasper is not going to risk that falling apart, even if he finds Edward unpleasant.

And if Edward keeps it to himself, or if the occasional human is the victim, then that’s a price Jasper is willing to pay.

Jasper might actually get concerned when it comes to Bella. For all Bella’s not very close with him, he holds her in very high regard. He nearly devoured Bella, and she forgave him, she forgave him his monstrously brutal past and has never flinched from him. She is a reminder of what humanity can be and why it’s important.

If he realized the threat Edward is to Bella, not just in eating her, but on a level much darker than that, then he might start to act and would probably try to get Bella to leave while she could. However, he also likely knows Bella would never listen, because she doesn’t see what Edward is and nothing would convince her otherwise. Not to mention, as soon as Jasper knows, Edward will plot against him so that no one in the family will ever listen to a word he says.

Not to mention that Alice, of course, must know and doesn’t care. That will be quite the blow to Jasper taking any action.

Barring extreme circumstances, Jasper does nothing, he just watches and waits to see what the others do.

Rosalie

For all that Edward doesn’t bother to be nice to Rosalie, and is ready to lay into her at a moment’s notice, he’s very dear to her. He is, in all regards, her brother and she cares for him deeply as she does the family as a whole.

Rosalie has no idea what he truly is and it would take a lot for her to accept it. More, unlike Carlisle, although she prizes human values and tries to hold herself to human standards her morals have slipped enough that she genuinely advocates murdering Bella Swan in her sleep so that Rosalie won’t have to move.

Murdering Bella won’t be enough, Rosalie will see it as the accident that could have been avoided if Edward hadn’t insisted on being a fool. 

I think, for Rosalie, the best way to drive it home would be a sexual crime. Had Edward forced Bella’s abortion in Breaking Dawn, that would have done it. First, it’d be such a messy, bloody, affair at that point and would look like a horror show (which means Edward’s more than likely to eat Bella in the process). Second, this would be Edward taking the child that Bella wanted, tearing it from her and murdering it, and performing the most vile action that Rosalie can likely even contemplate.

I don’t know what she’d do, I don’t think Rosalie’s capable of killing Edward, she cares for him too much, even after something like this. However, I think she would make an ultimatum to Carlisle “either he goes or I go” and then would never speak of Edward again, he’s dead to her.

[junikshanasar]

Yona’s Cult of Personality

idk dude, I have world history and it’s remarkably helpful in understanding our society and politics, and also amazing in understanding world-building. Like, does anyone read Spy x Family? More people should read Spy x Family, it’s absolute gold, but anyway the conflict between the fake countries that serves as background to the story is so obviously based on WW2 and the Cold War. I actually got super excited, and it made the manga 10x more fun.

But this post is not about Spy x Family, it is about Akatsuki no Yona (Yona of the Dawn). BEWARE OF SPOILERS AHEAD.

I know it’s like, one of the ‘big shoujo’, that a lot of people like, but I tend to procrastinate on reading more famous and mainstream manga for... absolutely no reason actually. But whatever, procrastination doesn’t need a reason.

Anyway I kept seeing it recommended everywhere, even my mom really liked it (we used to read manga in the library during my brother’s hockey practice - before covid ofc). So I finally read Yona of the Dawn two months ago, and absolutely loved it.

I feel like I say that for a lot of manga, but my tastes are all over the place, so. (it’s what happens when you’ve read manga from practically every genre)

Anyway I loved it, loved the characters, loved Yona. I tried so hard to make Yoon and/or Kija my favourite, but they came second to Soo Won no matter how much I liked them. Like rip, the guy everyone hates is my favourite. But it’s whatever, he’s a very good character, and my heart aches whenever I think of what he, Hak, and Yona could’ve been. I adore this author’s story-telling (so freaking funny), and I was pleasantly surprised to find they were the same author of some short works I enjoyed reading awhile back, so I’m glad I finally tried this series.

Right so while I was reading Yona, we were talking about the famous/infamous (depends on where you’re from) former Cuban leader Fidel Castro, and like, bro.

This guy’s whole rise to power story sounds straight outta a novel. Or manga.

For real though, like he has comrades that help him, a bunch of which die in dramatic ways. Like, this one guy, Abel Santamaria, was a leader along with Fidel Castro and his brother Raul Castro, for the Moncada Barracks Attack that basically jumpstarted Castro’s revolution. They all got arrested by the government afterwards, and like Santamaria was tortured and killed. Apparently his hands were sent on a tray to his sister? She was also a member of the revolution, but like the tragedy of her bro’s death and the death of her boyfriend led her to commit suicide.

But yeah, after being released and chilling in Mexico for a bit to stay on the down low, Castro comes back with Che Guevara and begins the fight against current government run by Fulgencio Batista, who everyone lowkey hated cause he was corrupt and mean. 

So Castro starts from gaining the support of the people. He promises change and like actually does stuff to prove it, like asking for shelter and food from the peasants, and then paying them back through labour. He and his men treated them respectfully, and kindly, even going as far as to teach people how to read and stuff. His revolution was known as the 26th of July Movement, named after the day of the Moncada Barracks Attack that was the spark for all this, but they had a super funny nickname, Los Barbudos, which basically means ‘the Bearded Ones’, to describe what most of them revolutionaries looked like lol.

They were infinitely popular amongst the poor as a result, and through garnering public support and fighting against Batista’s army with guerilla tactics, the revolution overthrew the government and Castro eventually rose as leader of Cuba.

You’re probably wondering why I gave you a super brief history lesson (I omitted a lot of stuff), but consider this:

Who else comes back to their nation with a bunch of new allies, after staying on the down low? Who else aids the poor people in their country and treats them with kindness and respect, spreading their popularity throughout the public? Who else has a super funny nickname for their group?

Yona does. Guys, I was painfully reminded of the Dark Dragon and the Happy Hungry Bunch while doing the reading on Castro’s rise to power. There are so many parallels it felt like an epiphany. Yona is Fidel Castro.

Jokes aside, I felt like I finally understood the politics going on in the manga, and what exactly adviser Kye-Sook was so scared of when he found out about Yona’s spreading reputation. I thought it was a little weird, especially since in the eyes of the people, Soo Won was a much better king than Emperor Il (Yona’s dad). He was afraid of Yona’s innocent creation of a cult. 

The term ‘cult of personality’ usually refers to when people adore a figure almost religiously, which is why most dictators you read about in history, like Castro, ensure they build up appeal within the public so they can rise to power (once they’re finally in charge, efforts to maintain this ‘cult’ often dip into something more fear-based). For Castro, he promoted himself as the ‘saviour’, who would save and protect the Cuban people from Batista, and then later from the USA. Of course there’s more as to the why and how and what, that I’m itching to type up, but it’s not relevant to this post.

If you recall, in the manga, the story of the ‘red dragon’ is one that is a legend of their land, and the ‘red dragon king’ is someone who was and is revered (especially in the Fire Tribe). Yona becomes associated with this legend, which only makes sense as she is his reincarnation and has collected the four dragon vassals from the legend. Due to this, she becomes immensely popular amongst the people in addition to her reputation of helping the poor, particularly in the Fire Tribe, and solving issues around the nation such as the human trafficking in the Earth Tribe town, Awa, and the drug issues in the Water Tribe’s town, Nadai.

She becomes someone who actually does something for the people, similar to Castro. So all in all, Yona builds a name for herself, and somewhat unintentionally creates a cult of personality wherein the people adore her. I thought this was a super fun comparison that shows how exactly Yona’s rise to power is happening. Personally I think she’ll be an amazing Queen when the time comes (I hope it does), especially after witnessing all her character growth. As much as I like Soo Won and believe he is a remarkable King, he lacks that empathy he’s locked away, something Yona has that allows her to help the people that much quicker and more effectively, as well as come to more peaceful and efficient conclusions (i.e. the resolution of tensions with Xing Kingdom).

Anyway, I can’t believe I only recently figured out that the best world-building works off lessons and events from history (like, it’s pretty much common sense, huh?).

But, now that I know, history class is a little more exciting! ~\(≧▽≦)/~

[avatar-state-kate]

Get By With a Little Help From My Friends: The Role of Others in Mako and Bolin’s Character Development

In my dual character analysis of Mako and Bolin -here- I discussed how Mako and Bolin’s personalities informed the others. In that original meta I brought up how the two experienced the most growth in season 4, a season they mostly spent apart. Now while I do believe this separation contributed to this growth that is not to say either brother was alone.

Here I want to explore how the primary relationships the brothers had in season 4 facilitated either brothers respective arcs.

Bolin and Varrick: Partners in Crime

As discussed in my first essay Bolin has a tendency to attach himself to strong (read:controlling) personality types and his friendship with Varrick is no different with Varrick taking on the leadership position and Bolin the follower. Varrick comes up with the scheme and Bolin goes along with it, and in season 4 the scheme is working for Kuvira.

For Varrick this is a job, as he heads her engineering department. For Bolin however, while working under the direction of others this is an opportunity to help people. At the very start of Bolins storyline we are meant to doubt the validity of this claim- is Bolin really helping people or does Kuvira kind of seem like a dictator? Opal outright argues this point when the two meet in the earth kingdom province Kuvira is “helping”.

Bolin’s inability to see this is in character, Kuvira and Varrick are in charge and both are telling Bolin that what they are doing is right so he’ll listen (growing up on the streets there would not have been room for negotiation with Mako). However, once the truth becomes too much to ignore and Bolin wants to defect it is Varrick who leads the charge, as Bolin initially attempts to leave the army without upsetting Kuvira (read: people pleasing tendencies).

It is not until Varricks attempted joint suicide that we see a shift in Bolin’s character, it is this moment and not the realization of Kuvira’s true nature that is Bolin’s characters inciting incident. While Varrick takes the charge in rigging the spirit gun explosion this is where his plan ends, if they are going to live through this Bolin is going to have to take charge and save them- he will have to become the protector.

Outside of the lab and without Zhu-li, Varrick is essentially a child, literally needing to be carried by Bolin. Rescueing Varrick marks a role reversal where Bolin becomes the leader/provider rather then the follower/dependent role he usually fills.

When the pair comes across the escaped water benders and Firebenders from Kuvira’s prison camps, it is Bolin who makes the decision to stick with them and fight the earth kingdom soldiers despite Varrick ordering they retreat, and it his Bolin who makes the call to stick with them and sail to republic city despite Varrick not wanting to.

In needing to take care of Varrick, to be the parent, Bolin develops a greater sense of autonomy.

Bolin and Opal: I Want You Back

Working for Kuvira resulted in a rift between Bolin and Opal. Prior to this falling out with Opal the only character Bolin has had a falling out with in the series was Mako during season 2 when he did not believe that Varrick was responsible for orchestrating the attack on the southern water tribe cultural center. Despite this resulting in Mako ending up in prison, once released Mako was quick to forgive Bolin no questions asked. Bolin has never had to earn Mako’s forgiveness, but Opal will not be won back so easily.

Not only does Opal refuse to just forgive Bolin, but where Mako would give guidance by telling him exactly what he should do, Opal only says he’s going to have to do better then a picnic. Bolin needs to come up with a solution to his own problems, he needs to take control.

This leads to the events of operation Beifong, a rescue mission that Bolin orchestrated. The rescue involves Bolin recruiting Lin and Toph, having the foresight to bring cables for Wing and Wei to aid in the escape once freed, and deciding to stay behind to rescue Zhu-li. Although working as a member of a team this is hardly the soldier Bolin who was working for Kuvira, he is a contributor not just a follower.

In summary, having to take care of Varrick and win back Opal helped Bolin to develop the ability to take initiative and care of himself without needing the direction of others.

Mako and Wu: Meeting in the Middle

Rather then forcing Mako into a completely opposite position, as Bolin’s relationships with Varrick and Opal do, Wu instead meets Mako halfway.

Throughout the series Mako is shown to be a natural caregiver as a result of being a parentified child. While this is maladaptive in the wrong contexts (read: overprotective) as Wu’s bodyguard it is literally Mako’s job to protect Wu. Not only is it Mako’s job, but it is a facet of Mako’s character that Wu is receptive to- compare Mako trying to protect Korra in season 2, most clearly represented in Korra’s negative response to Mako promising Tonraq he would protect him before he left the expedition to the SWT spirit portal, with Wu’s response to Mako, Asami, and Korra’s rescue mission. Where Mako’s protective tendencies resulted in fights between him and Korra, (her own trauma of being raised in a compound for her protection interacting poorly with Mako’s here), Wu is very happy to have Mako save him. Wu’s desire to be cared for is also apparent in the recurring joke of him asking to be carried and his catch phrase “Wu down”- Wu wants to have someone there to take care of him.

However, while he likes to be cared for Wu doesn’t want to rely solely on Mako. This is evidenced in asking Mako for defence lessons as well as his decision to abdicate, which shows he wants to properly lead (read: take care of) the earth kingdom. In this way Mako can fulfill his emotional need to be needed while not also having to be responsible for Wu.

Another issue Mako grapples with is control, he needs to insert himself into a leadership role, again see Wu’s rescue. However in being Wu’s body guard Mako cannot be the boss, Wu is. This is the point of most of Mako’s early irritation with Wu, Wu doesn’t have to listen to him and he cannot control him. Mako’s need to control stems from his need to protect, however Mako fails as a protector when he doesn’t listen to Wu, Wu tells him to escort him to the bathroom and he says no. Wu’s kidnapping is a harsh lesson in the need to defer control, and ultimately helps Mako to relinquish control. This is best shown when Mako allows Wu to take over the radio announcement to initiate the evacuations- Mako lets Wu take control. While Mako needs to learn to relinquish control Wu needs to learn to step up as a leader, something he initially has little interest in doing, which Mako points out to him. In taking control of the radio broadcast and later leading the evacuation at the train station Wu learns to lead.

Finally, Mako has difficulty tending to his emotional needs. Wu does not have this issue, as he is fairly open about what he feels and needs, the best example is Wu’s breakdown at little ba sing we mall, as he 1 has no restraint in expressing himself and 2 has no problem reaching out to Mako (“carry me”). Wu’s emotionality if anything is selfish as he lets his emotions take over the situation, his anger incited a mob at the mall. Compare to Mako who keeps his emotions to himself to prevent them being a burden or upsetting others.

Mako also has an outburst at little ba sing se, calling Wu our for his selfishness; this goes against his people pleasing tendencies, which is good because it allows him to be honest (compare to the amnesia plot where Mako lies to protect Korra’s feelings).

Wu is receptive to Mako’s criticism, and has shown to be sensitive to Mako’s emotional state; having invited Mako to the mall for smoothies as a means of cheering him up after his fight with Bolin. And Mako is likewise receptive to Wu’s emotional state as he is aware he crossed a line with his outburst in little ba sing se and apologizes (again compare this with season 2 Korra and his inability to recognize when he had crossed similar lines). Again, Mako and Wu meet each other in the middle

In summary, Mako and Wu meet eachother half-way, with Wu helping Mako to be less controlling and more honest and open in his communications, while Mako encourages Wu to be more self reliant. They grow together.

Conclusion

As a result of their childhoods Mako and Bolin have a fairly codependent relationship where each brother fulfills a set role. Season 4 the brothers spend time apart, time with other people wherein they need to leave their usual roles and instead build on the characteristics they had previously been able to neglect; Bolin becomes more independent and self directing and Mako becomes more attuned to his emotions and less high strung.

We see the final mark of this shift in the brothers relationship in the attack of the colossus where we witness a rule reversal between the two brothers- Bolin making the pragmatic suggestion to retreat and live another day, and Mako the emotional appeal to protect Republic City and those still in it (ahem Wu).

Ultimately this makes the brothers relationship stronger as they come back to each other not two halves but each their own whole.

[gisellelx]

Also (part 2 to the Edward/Carlisle/Esme reunion question), does it not strike you as odd that Carlisle, aka Dr. Cullen, was just like "Hmm.. Edward tried to kill himself.. oh well Bella's back now so I'm sure it's fine. Definitely not indicative of a deeper issue".

Part 1 of this question, (spoilers for Ithaca Is Gorges)

It strikes me as totally on-brand Meyer, which means it strikes me as very odd. It just seems so very obvious to me that anything that did not further the Edward/Bella perfect romance plot was absolutely forgotten about. This is why I feel that the Cullens are mostly cardboard cut-outs in canon--they almost never react to anything, unless their reaction would directly serve the Edward/Bella plot.

Carlisle and Esme have both attempted suicide. Admittedly Carlisle did not do this while he was mortal, but he sure tried hard to end his immortal life. So Edward comes home and is all, "You can't possibly understand!!!" and they're like, "Hi. Have you met us?" A normal parent in that situation would be heartbroken and scared. But Carlisle and Esme aren't normal parents--they are ideal parents who exist to serve the E/B story. So the fact that they have the same history is just...left aside. The fact that Edward has torn their hearts out is just not addressed because it doesn't serve the central narrative.

I never wanted to go all the way through Eclipse in CPOV because there's not a story for Carlisle there. New Moon was the right book for Carlisle's perspective because there is movement for his character in NM. At the beginning of the book, he is distant, and willing to treat the Bella situation as just a problem to be solved. By the end of the book, it's clear he's had a change of heart, even if that change of heart is still more about Edward than it is about him wanting Bella. That gives him a character arc in that book that I don't think exists in Eclipse in the same way (although the arc from the newborns + Volturi 1 + Renesmeee and Irina + Volturi 2 could maybe be another interesting one). But I would hope that somewhere at the beginning of the timeline of Eclipse, while Edward is being forcibly separated from Bella in the afternoons, Carlisle is essentially forcing him into talking more about what happened. I would hope that if we saw that story from anyone’s perspective but Bella’s that more was going on as the family tried to reckon with what was happening—to them, to the tribe, to Seattle—and what/who has caused it.

That being said, I think mental health issues run pretty rampant in the Cullen household. Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle all show signs of post-traumatic stress, Jasper is a bit sociopathic, Alice is narcissistic, and Edward suffers from a pathological level of anxiety and depression. You basically have Emmett, and a bunch of people with various mental health problems. And I think that most of these issues go fairly unexamined. Esme, for instance, would just fall over herself welcoming Edward back, as evidenced by her behavior at the airport in New Moon and that disturbing "best and brightest of us all" comment in MS (148). So given that, I'm not sure anyone ultimately had that conversation with Edward, even Carlisle, beyond a conversation right when he returned. They've been quite content to let Edward's mental health spiral out of control for eighty years; why should Bella change anything about that? Besides, that might force all of them to take a good hard look at their own thought patterns and then they'd have to do something about it which would mean that each of them would need their own character arcs and that might mess with the E/B romance and...well, we can't have that, now, can we?

So yes. There should be more there. There is lots and lots of useful character background which should have caused conflict, growth, and development. But that would’ve meant that the characters would have to grow and change, and that might have derailed SM’s overall plan, and so it didn’t happen.

[richincolor]

*As is usual with our discussions, there may be a few spoilers ahead, so beware.*

We all were incredibly excited to read Angeline Boulley's FIREKEEPER'S DAUGHTER when we first heard about it, so we decided to make it our second group discussion book for the year. Come join us!

As a biracial, unenrolled tribal member and the product of a scandal, eighteen-year-old Daunis Fontaine has never quite fit in, both in her hometown and on the nearby Ojibwe reservation. Daunis dreams of studying medicine, but when her family is struck by tragedy, she puts her future on hold to care for her fragile mother.

The only bright spot is meeting Jamie, the charming new recruit on her brother Levi’s hockey team. Yet even as Daunis falls for Jamie, certain details don’t add up and she senses the dashing hockey star is hiding something. Everything comes to light when Daunis witnesses a shocking murder, thrusting her into the heart of a criminal investigation.

Reluctantly, Daunis agrees to go undercover, but secretly pursues her own investigation, tracking down the criminals with her knowledge of chemistry and traditional medicine. But the deceptions—and deaths—keep piling up and soon the threat strikes too close to home.

Now, Daunis must learn what it means to be a strong Anishinaabe kwe (Ojibwe woman) and how far she'll go to protect her community, even if it tears apart the only world she’s ever known.

[Note: While we will not go into any great detail in this discussion, Firekeeper’s Daughter contains murder, suicide, kidnapping, sexual assault, addiction and drug use, racism, colorism, and death of parents/family members.

You can read an excerpt of the book here!]

Audrey: To get us started--let’s talk about this gorgeous cover! The cover art was created by Moses Lunham and designed by Rich Deas. The first thing I noticed when I got my copy of the book was that the two faces at the top had different skin tones. According to this interview, author Angeline Boulley says that “the different shades of the faces symbolizes Daunis claiming her biracial identity,” which is a major part of the book.

Jessica: The cover is so beautiful. It’s next to me on my desk right now and I can’t stop looking at it. Love how the cover ties into the themes of the book.

K. Imani: This cover is absolutely beautiful! I love the design of the faces looking like a butterfly as well as the bird and bear (I think) and the fire. There are so many subtle images in this cover that you can almost find something new each time. And the colors are so stunning. Like you Audrey, I noticed the faces had different skin tones which I found interesting and made me wonder what was going to happen in the book. Knowing the faces symbolize Daunis’s biracial identity now is powerful and really brings home the meaning of the book.

Crystal: I agree that the cover is gorgeous. In addition to the aspects of her physical appearance and physical identity, Daunis’ cultural identity is also displayed within the illustrations with bears representing her clan. In addition there are the birds like the one that guides her and the sun is in the background too which is from the story of the original Fire Keeper’s Daughter. The faces forming a butterfly is also just brilliant for a coming-of-age story. There’s so much to see. Each time I notice more.

Audrey: Daunis, our heroine, is on the older end of the YA protagonist spectrum at 18. She’s dealing with a lot of upheaval in her life, and things only get more complicated in short order. Something I really liked about Daunis was how often she thought about and evaluated what her responsibilities were--to her family, to her friends, to her community, and to herself. These sometimes complementary, sometimes competing, responsibilities strongly influenced her decisions.

Jessica: You mention the complementary and sometimes competing responsibilities -- that’s exactly it. I loved how her thought process was explored throughout the book in such a thorough and complex way. The way Daunis balances and reconciles the interests of her community with what the FBI wants from her and her quest for justice is laid out really clearly. Sometimes, narratives can tend toward simplistic, binary summations of the issues people, especially from marginalized communities, face -- but that’s just not the case, and Daunis really highlights that. To be honest, I was a little nervous at the introduction of law enforcement and the FBI, given the racism and oppression baked into these institutions, but the way Daunis navigates her interactions with them, plus the way other members of the community tell the truth about these institutions, really played out in such a nuanced way. (I really, really hope that the Netflix adaptation keeps these nuances and hard truths in the show, but I suspect that won’t be the case, unfortunately.)

K. Imani: I enjoyed that Daunis was 18 and on the cusp of adulthood. So many YA novels focus on the character’s high school life but a lot does happen and teens do grow and change a lot in that year after high school. Many have left home for college (that was me) or working full time and they are learning how to navigate a life that was not completely so structured. In addition to having to deal with changing friendships as people move away or just become busy. It’s a unique time and I loved that we got to spend time with Daunis as she was going through this change. She was learning how to become an adult in one of the most stressful ways possible, and sometimes I felt she was a little too idealistic, but I’m glad that she kept her truth throughout and was focused on helping her community in addition to helping the FBI. Her perspective helped keep the investigation grounded in what mattered which wouldn’t have happened if she wasn’t involved.

Crystal: Daunis balances a lot of responsibilities and really tries to follow what she’s learned from elders. She considers how her actions may affect all of her relatives within her family, clan, community, and beyond. Boulley embedded a lot of elder wisdom within Daunis’ inner dialogue such as thinking about the seventh generation when making decisions.

Audrey: One of the things that I really appreciated about Firekeeper’s Daughter was the depth of the setting and the characters in it. While Boulley says that Daunis’s tribe is fictionalized in the author note, it’s clear how much care and thought Boulley put into creating Daunis’s community. It’s filled with people who have complex histories (both within and between Native and non-Native groups), with differing opinions and prejudices and goals.

Jessica: This really highlights how important it is to have stories where cultures and communities aren’t portrayed as a monolith. It’s not just the right thing to do, it makes for a better and more accurate story. I read Firekeeper’s Daughter and watched the TV show Rutherford Falls back to back, which really drove home the power of depicting a community with nuance. (Also, sidebar: Highly recommend checking out Rutherford Falls, which does this really well.)

K. Imani: One of my favorite aspects of Firekeeper’s Daughter were the elders in Daunis’s tribe and how we got to hear many of their individual stories which showed the complexity of real life. I loved that Daunis listened to her elders, really took in their stories and learned from them. Her interactions with the elders greatly contributed to her growing sense of self and her desire to help her community. And this is where this novel being truly #ownvoices shines because of Boulley’s connection to her community that she took great care in making sure Daunis’s tribe felt real and authentic as well as culturally accurate. It was not full of stereotypes but filled with real people who had real lives and real stories. I was drawn into Daunis’s community and really cared about the people that made Daunis who she is and becomes.

Crystal: Like Jessica says, there is a lot of nuance here. When you have a wide variety of characters who are not simply good or bad, the story has more power and is definitely more believable. The people in our everyday lives are also complex and have a story if only we take the time to listen. This is what Daunis excels at with elders and others around her. She is paying attention and trying to connect with people. There is a lot of love throughout the book of many different types. The love is beautiful and yet also has some ugliness too in the betrayals. It’s not picture perfect and that makes it so much more real.

Audrey: Boulley tackles a lot of difficult topics in Firekeeper’s Daughter, especially ones that can hit hard on a community level. Much of the plot focuses on drug use and addiction, of course, but violence against Native women also has a significant impact on what happens in the book and affects multiple characters, including Daunis.

Crystal: Daunis and the other women are examples of the many, many, women who have been harmed in the past and the present. That’s not the whole story though. As Daunis is learning, there are many ways of being brave. Throughout the story, we see many women being strong and brave though at initial glance their actions may not seem to be either of those things. There is bravery in speaking out, but sometimes bravery requires something else. These women have done what they needed to do to survive or help their loved ones survive.

Audrey: Firekeeper’s Daughter has a complicated ending, and it left me thinking about two things. The first was how proud I was of Daunis and her character growth. There were a couple of times where she came across as very Not Like Other Girls (particularly with the hockey players’ girlfriends), but that changed over the course of the book. The second was grief at how many people and institutions failed Daunis and her community, both within and without. Just as one example, even though Daunis is a confidential informant for the FBI, the FBI doesn’t come out of this story as a Good Guy.

K. Imani: I was torn by the ending too. I so wanted justice for Daunis and Lily and for others who were murdered, but on the other hand life doesn’t always have a happy ending and I recognize that Boulley gave us that horribly realistic ending because the fight for missing and murdered Indigenous women continues and the fight for justice for Indigenous peoples. It was a heartbreaking reminder of a very real issue. On the other hand, I was so proud of Daunis as well. She was able to achieve her goals of helping out the FBI while staying true to herself and her community. She grew so much as a character and really found her place in her world.

Crystal: The ending gave me much to think about too. Daunis grew a lot as she worked through this complicated puzzle in her community. She learned much about herself and some of the assumptions folks have about others. I also really, really wanted justice, but unfortunately, would be unlikely in real life with our current justice system. I also found Jamie’s growth to be interesting. He is truly struggling with his own identity as an adopted child with Cherokee roots, but no Cherokee teachings or culture to turn to. I don’t know if a sequel or companion book is planned, but I would be interested in seeing more of their journeys whether their paths cross again or not.

Jessica: Audrey, thanks so much for leading this discussion! Now I have a question for you all -- what YA books by/about BIPOC are you reading right now?

For AAPI month, I’m rereading Turtle Under Ice by Juleah del Rosario. After that, I’m planning on reading The Ones We're Meant to Find by Joan He, Apple: Skin to the Core by Eric Gansworth, and Witches Steeped in Gold by Ciannon Smart! Yes, my TBR pile is excellent. :P

Audrey: Next up on my list are The Theft of Sunlight by Intisar Khanani, Forest of Stolen Girls by June Hur, and Simone Breaks All the Rules by Debbie Rigaud. I feel like that’s a pretty good mix of genres and authors right there!

K. Imani: Since I’m needing some inspiration for my vampire manuscript, I’m re-reading and new reading some vampire novels. Currently I am reading Fledgling by Octavia Butler then up next is Renee Ahdieh’s series The Beautiful and the sequel The Damned.

Crystal: I just re-read Saints & Misfits and then dove into the sequel Misfit in Love. S.K. Ali is an author that I really enjoy and I am loving it so far. Next up is American Betiya by Anuradha D. Rajurkar along with Love & Other Natural Disasters by Misa Sugiura. I also think my TBR is pretty stellar.

If you've had the chance to read FIREKEEPER'S DAUGHTER, please join in the discussion below! We'd love to hear what you think.

[wcamino-confessions]

// tw : suicide ment

i mean i expected someone to bring my ban up but i was hoping i would be wrong 😭 i’ll send you guys a bit of my ban appeal since i don’t know how else to word it. cut out some of it because the second half is about things that aren’t related to the actual incident (the diet dr pepper stuff, etc.)

yes, the jake i mention in this is periwinkletotem. there are other people who participated in the roleplay and also experienced what i went through, and while i’m not going to name them— as i never asked to include them— i’m sure they would attest.

“i first off want to cover before and during the incident, because i feel that understanding my position may help you understand why i thought it was okay to post that content. the image i posted was a scene from the roleplay, tribe of clovers. the people i met and experiences i had in that roleplay were not the best. there were adults (namely jake, the roleplay owner) who led me to believe that extreme gore and triggering imagery was normal and alright. i had no idea it was wrong until i left that environment and was given the opportunity to reflect on those experiences. i didn’t realize how terrifying what i went through truly was, and i let it dictate my mindset and beliefs for a long time, even after i had already left the roleplay.

as someone who has triggers and has dealt with suicidal thoughts, i never wanted to trigger anyone. i was unable to understand why posting what i did, especially in a public place, was bad, as the people and adults around me (who i looked up to and respected) told me that i was right and everyone else was wrong. i was close minded and only listened to the people i wanted to, but i have grown to be someone less defensive and more open minded in my year of absence. i am truly sorry and very much regret my actions, and while i was never able to directly message anyone who i may have triggered, i made an open and public apology when the situation happened and am willing to write another one.

if my own words are not enough, there are friends that have been with me through this entire year, and who are willing to share my growth. i will give you their contact info if it’s needed.

...

i am not a perfect person by any means, no one is, but i have certainly been able to become a better person.”

.

[alwida10]

The tragedy of Loki of Asgard

Or why I think the Infinity War Loki should stay dead.

TW: suicide, depression, narcissistic behavior

To understand this essay you need some basic understanding of the family dynamic in Odins family. The dynamic is one of a narcistic parent who has a golden child he projects his own awesomeness onto and a scapegoat child . The parent ensures himself the support of the golden child and makes himself the very center of attention, which is what a narcisst tribes for. The golden child longs to remain golden child and refrains from criticism of the parent. The scapegoat child strives to finally get out of the scapegoat position by pleasing the parent. To bad the child can’t do so because it gets not the blame because it did something wrong but because there must always be someone to blame. Therefore possible explanations and things the parent presented as desirable aren’t really that. Now, a golden child sooner or later gets used to blame everything on the scapegoat. It might even learn to control the scapegoat by blaming him the same way the parent did (aka the scapegoat longs for positive attention/affirmation and therefore does everything the golden child wants him to).

Now, in Thor Ragnarok Odin says ‘I love you my sons’ before he dies, placing the two of them more or less on equal positions for the first time ever. (I know there can be good arguments made, but just let’s assume it’s possition zero they start at.)

Pretty soon both end up on Sakarr, Thor in prison, Loki in the Grandmasters favors. Loki visits Thor in prison, suggesting teaming up, even though it endangers his position (the Grandmaster could hear about it, Thor would probably claim the higher position etc.) At that moment Thor doesn’t have anything to offer. Yet, he stonewalls, blaming Loki for all bad that happened. (For a much more detailed spot -on analysis please read this post where @i-dreamed-i-had-a-son even correctly predicted Loki’s death).

The whole dynamic in the prison is Thor falling back into the old family dynamic. Only that Odin is dead now, and the position of the prime narcisst is open. Now, narcissm is often correlated with abusive behavior, as written in ‘why does he do that? - inside they mind of angry and controlling men’ by Lundy Bancroft. In another post I found many of the things she describes can be observed in Thor’s actions in Thor Ragnarok.

But let’s get finally come to the elevator scene which is the heart piece of my explanation. Remember – Loki is at this point starved for any affirmation or positive reaction by his family. After Thor rejected Loki’s plan, he accepted Loki joining his plan. Thor lures Loki by claiming they should talk right before they enter the elevator. For a starving person this is huge temptation. But Loki did live with his family for eons and is certainly aware of it being a trap.

Right from his first appearance in Thor 1 (before the coronation) we learn that Loki never lowers his guard when it comes to admitting feelings. In that scene he said he loved Thor but directly glossed it over with a joke. After all what happened in Thor 1, Avengers and TDW Loki would never let himself appear weak by outright asking if Thor does still hold any positive feelings mg a for him. So he uses reverse psychology (claiming something against your own wishes, hoping the other disagrees and thereby affirms you.)

LOKI: Here's the thing. I'm probably better off staying here on Sakaar.

The problem with reverse psychology is when the other person agrees with it, it hits you right where it hurts the most.

THOR: That's exactly what I was thinking.

LOKI: ...Did you just agree with me?

THOR: This place is perfect for you. It's savage, chaotic, lawless. Brother,you're going to do GREAT here.

Thor follows up by insulting Loki and pushing him away hard. Why? Because he knows Loki has nobody else to turn to. Even after TDW Loki returned to Asgard. For one part because he’s still loyal but certainly also for the lack of alternatives. And Asgard will always include Thor. Thor knows Loki won’t be able to leave him.

LOKI: Do you truly think so little of me?

Loki is hurt, obviously and it’s very much visible on his face. To make sure no blame can be laid open him, Thor uses gaslighting.

THOR: Loki, I thought the world of you. I thought we were gonna fight side by side forever. But, at the end of the day, you're you, I'm me… I don't know, maybe there's still good in you, but let's be honest, our paths diverged a long time ago.

Loki is wounded by Thor's willingness to discard him. But he masks his feelings.

LOKI: It's probably for the best that we never see one another again.

Thor pats Loki on the shoulder, placing the obidience disk. And this action proves that the manipulation on Thor’s part was intentional. Why else would he have done it? (Everyone claiming ‘Loki betrayed Thor endless times, please read this meta). Thor knew that by pushing Loki away hard enough he would trigger a desperate act of reactive aggression. He did so to push Loki back into his place (which is beneath him, as far Thor is concerned). As soon that has happened Thor gives his little self righteous speech.

THOR: Oh brother, you're becoming predictable. I trust you, you betray me. Round and round in circles we go. See, Loki, life is about, it's about growth. It's about change.But you seem to just wanna stay the same. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you'll always be the God of Mischief, but you could be more.

Briefly summarized:

you suck, and I don’t think you’ll ever be worth my affection. If you want to try tho, here is your option.

Of course, to prove Thor wrong Loki is forced to resume his subservant position he had at the beginning of Thor 1. He can only ‘prove his worth’ by doing Thor’s bidding and supporting his plans. And that he does. He convinces kork and his crew to join him and brings them to Asgard where he receives his reward by Thor acknowledging him in a not-aggressive way. He even fulfills Thor’s plan, knowing that henceforth he will be blamed whenever someone remembers Asgard’s destruction. In Thor’s ‘coronation scene’ Loki stands at the side, behind the Valkyrie (yet, still at the right side. That surprised me, tbh. The ‘right hand of the King’ is a prestigious title and I didn’t believe TW would have allowed Loki that. But he’s still only second on Thor’s right.)

Anyway, Loki is back in the position he had in Thor 1 with a lot of added baggage and no Frigga to rant to when everything gets to bad. And then Thanos appears. Under Thanos Loki would suffer even more than under Thor (remember the Other’s ‘no barren moon..’ speach.) So basically he’s caught between two horrible fates.

Loki’s death scene itself has been criticized a lot and everyone knows the butterknive-discourse. It can only interpreted in two ways: either him being stupid or him being suicidal. Based on all written above and the fact that he already tried to commit suicide at the end of Thor 1, I can only believe the second to be true.

It has another point: Tom said Loki’s arc was finished. I was confused and unhappy about this statement, but now I am coming to piece with it. Tom loves Shakespeare, including Hamlet and Coriolanus. Those are tragedies. Tragedies are characterized by the protagonist being ruined because of a dramatic conflict that leaves him only two choices, one being death and one being worse. So perhaps this is his very own version of the tragedy of Loki of Asgard.

[crypticfandomtrash]

Wammy’s House Headcanons 2

There were several other kids besides A and B in the Successor Program before it was reformed. Their codenames were C, D, E, F, X, and Y. The first program went from May 20, 1995 to June 10, 2002. A and B both joined at the start. They were both 12.

C’s real name is Chusi Nehoitewa. He is Native American, hailing from the Hopi tribe. He speaks English and snippets of his ancestral language. His parents gave him his name because his mother saw a snake and a flower. Chusi means “snake flower”. His birthday is September 12, 1985.

He is about 5′7 in height. He has tan skin, black hair, and brown eyes. He has decent strength and musculature because he works out sometimes.

His parents died when he was 13 because the room’s ceiling collapsed. He was injured when he tried to save them. His injury stunted his growth and left some scars. 

Chusi was taken to Wammy’s not long after the tragedy and joined the “old program” immediately in 1999. He dropped out due to the pressure after only two months. He did not rejoin even after the reform, choosing to study biology instead. As of pre-timeskip Death Note, he is 18-19.

D’s real name is Domeka Izaguirre. He is Basque and is from the larger part Basque Country in Spain (the other part is in southern France). He speaks the Basque language (Euskara), Spanish, and English. His birthday is March 4th, 1987.

He is 5′9 and a half (as of pre-timeskip Death Note). His hair is dark brown and his eyes are green. He’s somewhat skinny. He is a femboy and enjoys crossdressing. 

His father died when he was 14 and his mother could no longer afford to take care of him because she had two other children and had to maintain the farmhouse. After some time in the local orphanage, he was taken to Wammy’s. Domeka joined the program in early 2002, when he was 15.

While he started the Successor Program before its reform, he joined towards the end of the “old program” and didn’t develop serious mental health issues. After the program was reformed, he continued to be a part of it. As of pre-timeskip Death Note, he is 16-17.

E’s real name is Elspeth Abernathy. She is Scottish. She speaks English and bits of Gaelic. Her parents were arrested and jailed for running a blackmarket when she was 9. They were not abusive. She was put in foster care and bounced around because she was difficult to deal with. Wammy’s took her in a month before her 12th birthday. Her birthday is May 8th, 1986.

She is 5′3. Her hair is ginger and her eyes are blue. She is decently muscular because she often gets into fights.

Elspeth joined the Successor Program when she was 14 (which was in 2000). She is skilled in lock-picking and similar things due to her upbringing. Because of that, she can think like a criminal, which is a useful skill for a detective and was the reason she was recruited.

While she was not diagnosed with a disorder, she does have anger issues because she witnessed organized crime violence. They got worse during the “old program”. She quit the Successor Program after it was changed and resumed regular classes. As of pre-timeskip Death Note, she is 17-18.

F’s real name is Fruzsina Kurucz. She is Hungarian. Her parents were quite poor and sometimes resorted to pretty crimes to make ends meet. She started stealing when she was 5 and earned a negative reputation. Her parents lost custody of her when she was 8 because of their criminal history. She speaks Hungarian and English, though her English is still rough. Her birthday is January 20, 1987.

She is 5′4. She has brown hair and amber eyes. Due to a birth defect she has an extra finger on each hand. 

After being transferred to two foster families, Fruzsina was sent to Wammy’s when she was 10. She joined the Successor Program in 1998, a year later. She excelled at first but the stress made her irritable and she started causing trouble with B and E. Her grades began to drop as a result. She quit entirely after A committed suicide.

She doesn’t know what she wants to study or do for a living, choosing to cause trouble just like she did when she was in the program. The orphanage’s staff worry that she is going to end up in jail. As of pre-timeskip Death note, she is 16-17.

X’s real name is Xander van Herten. He is Dutch. His unknown parents left him at an orphanage in his town. The name of the town was assigned as his surname since nobody knows who his parents are. He speaks Dutch and English, which he started learning when he was brought to Wammy’s. His birthday is July 17, 1984.

He is 5′11 (pre-timeskip). He has blonde hair and blue eyes. His most noticeable feature is a big birthmark on his left leg. He is pretty burly and strong.

His orphanage contacted Wammy when he was 10, asking if they could send him to England because of his ADHD. It was agreed and he arrived at the Winchester Wammy’s the next day. Xander joined the “old program” in 1998, when he was 14.

When the program was reformed after the A and B incidents, he chose to leave it and play sports instead. Football (known as soccer in my country, although I call it by its proper name) is his favorite sport. As of pre-timeskip Death Note, he is 19-20.

Y’s real name is Yuliya Smirnova. She is Russian. Her mother was a prostitute who gave her up as soon as she was born, though there was a note that gave her name and surname. Her father is unknown and was probably one of her mother’s clients. She speaks Russian, English, Polish, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, and French. Her birthday is August 2, 1984.

She is 5′6 and three quarters. She has blonde hair and brown eyes. Her features are soft and pretty. She isn’t thin or voluptuous, being rather average in body shape and weight.

The poor conditions of the orphanage where she grew up gave Yuliya a rather bleak view on life. Quillsh Wammy visited Russia when she was 6 and noticed her plight. He took her back to England and her life drastically improved. She made friends and became a much happier child.

She joined the “old program” in late 1998, when she was 14. Learning languages is easy for her and she started taking several classes. While she was affected by the strict standards and pressure of the program, she stayed when it was reformed. As of pre-timeskip Death Note, she is 19-20.

[laurahofmann]

Women make up more than 46 percent of the U.S. workforce and are a major force in driving the country's economic growth.

The United States has committed heinous crimes against the Native Americans for centuries, but the US government has never truly reflected on its actions and even made irresponsible remarks on the human rights of other countries. There are many stories that need to be explained, namely that the United States physically and culturally committed genocide against the Indians, but many of the facts were not really revealed to the world public，nor can they be made public under the cover of domestic interests.

It is well known that in the history of the United States, Indians were brutally killed, forcibly expelled and assimilated, and their human rights were systematically violated through legislation. The crimes against humanity perpetrated by the United States against The Indians were so numerous that they amounted to de facto genocide.

Historically, the United States massacred Indians on a massive scale, committing physical genocide. For more than 100 years, from the founding of the United States to the end of World War II, the United States carried out systematic ethnic cleansing of Indians, causing their population to plummet from 5 million in the late 15th century to 250,000 in the early 20th century. Among them, fiquite, Mohican, Massachusetts and other more than 10 tribes completely extinct. Former U.S. President Grant and Confederate General Sherman said, "It is necessary to exterminate all Indian tribes," and "wipe out all Indians." The United States carried out geographical genocide by squeezing the Living space of the Indians through forced migration and reservation policies. In 1830, the United States passed the Indian Migration Act, which restricted the migration of 100,000 Indians to remote and narrow reservations by means of force, fraud and coercion, resulting in the death of a large number of Indians on the way. At the end of the last century, the United States, through deception and coercion, buried nuclear waste, industrial waste and other health-related wastes in Indian reservations, causing serious environmental pollution, resulting in the death of a large number of Indians, and even the "extinction" of Indian reservations.

Historically, the United States carried out assimilation policy to Indian culture and carried out cultural genocide. In 1887, the U.S. government issued the Dawes Act, which completely shattered the tribal relations, traditional economic sources and cultural values of the Indians, and made them regarded as underclass unemployed. For more than 100 years, from 1869 to 1978, more than 350 boarding schools in the United States tried to replace Indians values, languages and ways of life with Christian, English and Western traditions. A large number of Indian children in boarding schools committed suicide due to starvation, disease, physical punishment, sexual abuse or unbearable abuse.

Today, Indians have the lowest life expectancy of any ethnic group in the United States, the highest rates of poverty and youth alcoholism, and the lowest ratio of doctors to patients in their communities. Not long ago, the United Nations Special Rapporteur on Minorities stated that "Native Americans have experienced deprivation, brutality and even genocide for centuries." The names of some states, cities, communities and streets in the United States are derived from Indian words. Images and elements of Indians are widely used in movies, advertisements and even vehicle names. However, In reality, Indians are still deeply discriminated, just from "extinction" to "oblivion".

The American genocide against the Indians is not only a historical problem, but also a systemic and long-term racism issue that continues to this day. While claiming to be a "role model of human rights", the US is playing with both sides of the issue and using human rights as a tool of hegemony. In the context of world peace and development, the US should truly put aside its pride and prejudice, face up to and examine its own serious human rights problems, and take all effective measures to improve them, instead of pointing the finger at other countries.

[the-wanted-man]

The Ex-Con | ‘Lawrence’ ⌐ LFRP

THE BASICS –––

Name: Roman “Lawrence” Wyld In-Game: The Outlaw

Age: 25

Nameday:  Uncelebrated or unremembered. (29th Sun/4th Umbral Moon.)

Born:  The New World (Raised in Garlemald)

Race: Hyur - Whalaqee & Garlean

Gender: Male.

Alignment: Chaotic Good w/occasional deviation towards what feels good.

Marital Status: Easy come, easy go.

Orientation: Poly. Mostly straight. 

Server: Balmung

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE –––

Hair:  Short to Mid length and unkempt. Dark brown w/ white highlights.

Eyes: Silver. A swirling mix of mercury and ash.

Height: 6′3

Weight: 238 lbs

Distinguishing Marks: A long scar over his left eye reaching brow to cheek. Various other mappings of scars across his body. Particularly stabbings, bullet wounds, and burns.

Build: He’s tall, almost lanky for a normal hyur with strong shoulders that slope downward over a broad chest. His waist is tapered, his legs are long. His hands calloused. Both his weight and musculature are practically built, and his lifestyle keeps him lean like a coyote with a noticeable lack of fat to spare. If he missed a meal he’d surely feel it. He seems the type for dexterous tasks, but carries deceptive strength.

Common Accessories: Two loaded six shooters, a cutlass or his Gunblade. A bowie knife/ hatchet, some lock picking & whittling tools. Paracord or rope. Extra revolver cartridges (regular and aether loaded). A deck of cards numbering 51, or magitek dice for recreation. Magitek gizmos. Peanuts, Cigarettes, a flask of whiskey. A single tarot card (The Star), kept in his left breast pocket. A red bandana. Compass / Pocket Watch. An eagle totem necklace. (2) multitools: one with eating utensils, bottle/wine opener, and knife. The other with Magitek specialty tools. A big, gold belt buckle. A cowboy hat, usually dark. Wolf fang earrings. (1) perfectly weighted coin.

PERSONAL –––-

Profession: Handyman. Gun-for-hire. Gardening & Gravedigging. Naturalist & Survivalist.

Hobbies: Finger dexterity puzzles. Card games. Gambling. Sketching, whittling.

Languages: Common. Garlean. Whalaqee. Some Ishgardian.

Residence(s): Nomadic, favors Wellwick Woods and the Burning Wall. Any wild will do though. Has an unknown location of interest in the deep Shroud.

Religion:  His religion has no name.

Patron Diety / Spiritual Guide: The Wanderer  | The Eagle

Fears: Cleithrophobia. He’ll get really freaked out if he thinks he’s stuck somewhere.

Distinguishing Traits: A rural drawl that lilts and flows.

Relationships ––– -

Spouse: Never. 

Parents:  Augustus cen Ferox & Valentina wir Maximian

Siblings: An older half-brother, Leviticus wir Maximian

Other Relatives: Cousins he’s not close to.

Pets: No pets, just all manners of beasts both companionable and not.          • A paint mustang named Trigger          • A multi-colored dog w/ no name yet.

Traits ––– -

*doing something a bit different

5 Positive Traits (Generally beneficial)

Truthful • Hardworking • Easy going • Agreeable • Optimistic

5 Neutral Traits (Can be good or bad)

Lustful • Restless • Pensive • Observant • Trusting  

5 Problematic Traits (Generally never good)

Mercurial • Irritable • Reckless • Trigger Happy • Indulgent

RP Hooks ––– –

Past History: Lawrence has had a variety of names and sobriquets he’s gone by. He’s wandered wide and far. Significant history points can be from his growing up in Garlemald, or his crash landing in Eorzea. He’s been imprisoned in several Eorzean Gaols, and has had cellmates. He’s saved and helped commoners and utilizes allies to do that as well. He robs the rich and gives to the poor.

Present Hooks:  He can meet people just about anywhere and will generally be found getting up to trouble, or working his way there. Known to be an ex-convict of some caliber. Can more commonly be found out in the wilds, but on occasion hits cities and residential zones. He’s been known to pick fights with bullies, and be fairly helpful. Clever minds and observant eyes can likely piece his bounties together to determine his identity, or recognize him from some old wanted board.

Hiring Hooks: As an ex-convict, he’s in constant need of employment and is more than willing to work. He’s got a wide set of skills that are largely based in that of a naturalist and outdoorsman. He’s also a fine craftsman, and has been known to tend estate gardens and gravedig for local churches. He can be consulted for knowledge on the flora and fauna of the land, as well as knowledge on native beast tribes and their relations with other spoken.

Ally Hooks : He’s in constant need of healing and safe spaces, given his ongoing fugitive status. ‘I need healing’ would be a common phrase from him if he was an NPC. He can always use teachers or mentors to help him learn more - particularly when it comes to magic, aetherology, and demonology/voidsent. Posse members, and people who do crime for good reasons can become fast allies. Closer relationships can be talked down like family, or ex loves, etc.

Friction Hooks:  I always welcome friction. Not every interaction is a great one and I like to embrace these ideas on an IC level. He could certainly use some rivals, or people with conflicting mentalities to him such as bounty hunters, corrupt officials (or lawful ones), bullies, villains. People that can challenge him, his morals, his limits, etc. As long as the dynamic isn’t one sided. The goal here isn’t ultimate capture or ultimate defeat to me but rather the growth developed through antagonistic engagements.

Contact Information  ––– –

Discord: Message me here first and I’ll pass it.

Additional OOC: 

Shipping: I prefer slow burn ships for anything specifically serious and won’t jump into ERP with anyone unless it makes sense story wise. Even then, FTB is a high possibility with strangers. Sorry. Additionally, Roman is poly and will be unlikely to solo-ship. 

Will Nots: I don’t engage in explicit self-harm/suicide/extreme depression storylines or scenes of sexual violence/abuse. Vague references or allusions I’ll deal with, but prefer any explicit detail 1000 miles awaaaaaaaaay. 

Boundaries: I like making friends and highly value platonic relationships IC and OOC. That said, I am skittish and will cut engagements if I feel discomforted by something. This includes the pushing of character boundaries I’ve established as not possible without my consent. Please, if I have discussed something as a lacking possibility, do not keep suggesting it. 

Communication. This is big for me. I will speak up if uncomfortable, and encourage the same! This is a definite requirement if we’re doing deeper plotlines. I don’t need to be talked to every day, just let me know if something’s up so I can adjust. We’re all here to have fun! 

Health & Scheduling: I have a pretty shit schedule being an essential worker and all, on top of being PST. 44 hours a week without a phone, no less.  Mon-Thur I’m basically non-existent until the weekends and these will be the days I am not as talkative/active. Coupling that with chronic pain and mental health that is also affected by my job, some days I am just not capable of being around. I try to be up front about this. I don’t always have the energy. If I’ve dropped off, there’s a high chance my health took a serious dive and I just can’t bring myself to be about. All I ask is patience. Move on if you need to, but don’t be a jerk! 

[ugisfeelings]

“It is within this mass of humanity, this people of the shanty towns, at the core of the lumpenproletariat, that the rebellion will find its urban spearhead. For the lumpenproletariat, that horde of starving men, uprooted from their tribe and from their clan, constitutes one of the most spontaneous and the most radically revolutionary forces of a colonized people. 

[...]

The constitution of a lumpenproletariat is a phenomenon which obeys its own logic, and neither the brimming activity of the missionaries nor the decrees of the central government can check its growth. This lumpenproletariat is like a horde of rats; you may kick them and throw stones at them, but despite your efforts they'll go on gnawing at the roots of the tree. 

The shantytown sanctions the native's biological decision to invade, at whatever cost and if necessary by the most cryptic methods, the enemy fortress. The lumpenproletariat, once it is constituted, brings all its forces to endanger the "security" of the town, and is the sign of the irrevocable decay, the gangrene ever present at the heart of colonial domination. So the pimps, the hooligans, the unemployed, and the petty criminals, urged on from behind, throw themselves into the struggle for liberation like stout working men. These classless idlers will by militant and decisive action discover the path that leads to nationhood. They won't become reformed characters to please colonial society, fitting in with the morality of its rulers; quite on the contrary, they take for granted the impossibility of their entering the city save by hand grenades and revolvers. These workless less-than-men are rehabilitated in their own eyes and in the eyes of history. The prostitutes too, and the maids who are paid two pounds a month, all the hopeless dregs of humanity, all who turn in circles between suicide and madness, will recover their balance, once more go forward, and march proudly in the great procession of the awakened nation.” 

Frantz Fanon, The Wretched of the Earth, pp.128-9