#sumerian emotions

[sumerianlanguage]

is there a sumerian word for volition or will?

There is! It's simply shag, the word for "heart" - Halloran (2006) lists "will, volition" as among its many definitions. Shag is written 𒊮 in cuneiform.

[butchhatred]

Bread is sacred i think

[hapalopus]

"why would a thousand year old immortal supernatural creature look like a child" uhm maybe because their bond knew no bounds and the creature wears the child's guise to always be reminded of when the child sacrificed their life to save the creature

[jackfromthefairytale]

also: I love how erra released one outright metalcore song as the introductory single then the next three are all just. wildly different. no one does it like them

[iluvzaddies]

soft yandere!wanderer headcannons

warnings: none

the wanderer had many names: kabukimono, kunikuzushi, scaramouche, the balladeer.

after he lost a battle with the well-known traveler, he became the wanderer, a puppet with no strings. a puppet with a different style and his very own anemo vision.

he changed for the better and it was all thanks to nahida, the traveler, and you.

you helped him retrieve his memories along with nahida and the traveler.

you helped out only a bit, but still, he was grateful.

he would feel indescribable emotions whenever you were around. at first, he thought there was something wrong with him, but discovered what he was feeling was in fact love.

“love” was a foreign word to him. ever since his birth, he never once experienced love. his creator, the almighty shogun or the god of eternity, saw no worth in him and discarded him like trash.

sure, he had met a few friends, but neither of them filled the void of loneliness in his heart because they either died or abandoned him.

he wanted to forget his past and focus on the present, so he tried his best not to act in a way he would back when he was a harbinger.

he wanted to shower you in gifts as thanks, but that would be a problem since he wasn’t acquainted with the fatui anymore, meaning he had no mora and would have to make mora independently somewhere.

“sc– i mean, wanderer, what are you doing?” you asked, furrowing your brows, as you saw the ex-harbinger behind a fruit stand.

“oh… i’m just trying out a new job... figured i’d have to do something to make a living since i’m not in the fatui anymore.” he felt his face heat up at the sight of you. just one look at you was enough to make him flustered. “so, this is what sumerians do to make mora? sell pieces of fruit?”

”yeah, i guess. you can try selling jewelry too or make mora off of dancing.” you imagined him, an ex-harbinger, dancing for mora. the thought made you chuckle.

“dancing? for mora? how would that benefit anyone?”

“benefit? people just like that sorta stuff. it’s entertaining for them.”

“i see. do you like that sort of stuff?”

the way he asked that question was adorable.

oh no, did you just find him adorable? he literally tried to kill you, nahida and the traveler not too long ago. how could you find him adorable?

“i– i do like watching dances. nilou’s my favorite dancer. i make sure not to miss out on any sabzeruz festivals or just any sumerian festivals.” you rubbed the back of your neck.

“hm.” he looked like he was actually considering it.

“hey, wanderer, (y/n).” nahida greeted, approaching the both of you.

“oh, nahida! it’s nice to see you again.”

“it’s nice to see you too, (y/n). i’d like to thank you once more for your help back then. traveler and i really appreciated the gesture.” nahida smiled at you then turned to wanderer. “how have you been faring, wanderer?”

“tch, it’s you again–“ he stopped, remembering he wasn’t supposed to act like his arrogant, aggressive self before (at least in front of you). “i mean i’m fine. selling fruit isn’t too hard.” it wasn’t as hard as shedding blood every single day.

“i’m glad you’re doing well.” nahida put a hand on her chest.

“well, i got to go now. you guys continue talking. goodluck with your new job, wanderer. see you around, nahida.” you said, giving them a wave, and left before wanderer could say anything else.

“you have feelings for her, don’t you?” nahida noticed his expression turn from soft to irritated. “i can see the longing look in your eyes.”

“shut up. you ruined everything with your presence.” he grumbled.

he watched as you were getting further and further away from him.

you would be his someday. he’d make sure of that. and once you were his, he wouldn’t ever spend a day apart from you. he would treat you so well. he would shower you in gifts (using his self-earned mora), take you out on “dates” (a human activity where you bring your partner to eat somewhere beautiful, he learned) and eventually confess his feelings to you.

if you return his feelings, oh that would make him the happiest puppet alive. he would happily sweep you off your feet and start a brand new life together with you.

[ghouljams]

Throwing up at the thought of Love having a copy of Ghosts one book- hunted it down and got a physical copy from a friend of a friend or something, and annotates it, some with those tiny sticky notes and some straight up writing in the book itself and ghost stumbling upon it somehow (do NOT check the discord it will NOT show a few students that went on ‘a breaking in Loves office to steal book to dropping it in front of ghosts door and taking off running’ escapade)

No but you're so right. There's no way Love hasn't tracked down one of the few print copies being passed around, or paid to have the PDF printed and bound. Honestly I don't know which shows more care, the dedication to finding an actual copy and paying($$$$) for it, or getting a copy printed and bound custom.

Either way, it's a well worn book. Highlighted in different places, notes scribbled in the margins, post its and little page markers everywhere. Postcards from the trips she's taken it on act like bookmarks for her favorite sections, and she writes little notes to Ghost on the back of them, trying to sort through her thoughts and what she thinks his might have been. It's hard not to connect the philosophy with the man that wrote it, it's so deeply personal even as impersonal as Ghost's writing style is. Really the only thing that seems to hold any emotion to it(despite the depth and honesty in each chapter) is the forward and Love reads it over and over again.

The spine is cracked, there's a coffee stain on one of the corners that curls the pages, and it feels silly that she wants Ghost to sign it, but she desperately wants him to sign it. She just wants to sit down and talk about life with him, talk about his life, talk about everything that happened that made him settle on philosophy. It's quite literally one of her prized possessions. It helps her with some of the lingering grief in her own life, and she can only hope that writing it helped Ghost with his. Of course she'd attend his talk on it, of course she'd take notes and debate whether to raise her hand with questions. It's the best opportunity she's gotten to actually talk to him about it. Or rather to hear him talk about it.

It has a quiet place of honor on her bookshelf, carried back and forth between home and her office, and slid neatly into place. It is only one of the philosophy students taking her class that spots the spine and recognizes it immediately. Ghost doesn't bother looking at what Love's reading, avoids her office for the most part, and it isn't like she's displaying the thing so of course he wouldn't know... Except if someone in the discord took it upon themselves to ask him where Love got a copy during his office hours.

"There's a PDF online," Ghost grumbles, checking over their paper.

"No like a real copy, like printed with your name on the spine."

That makes Ghost stop and glare at them. The subject is dropped. But maybe he swings by Love's office to check, just to make sure she doesn't have a copy, and spots it while he's investigating one of the artifacts she has displayed along her shelves. He asks her a question about one of them just to get her talking while he silently slips the book free and thumbs through it. Taking in all the marks and scribbles, the annotations and underlines, the post cards and the post-its.

He tugs a pen from his pocket and signs the inside cover while she's going on about Sumerian burial practices. Pushes the book back into place. Leaves without saying a word to her about it. Doesn't even let her finish her excited lecture, just closes the door and stalks back to his office with the knowledge that she hasn't just read his book, she's studied it. He doesn't know why or for how long, but he does know that he's starting to feel a twinge of guilt for snapping at her.

[cleopheanne]

Bharani : the birth of Venus.

Part 1

Let's talk about ancient godesses of love and Bharani nakshatra.

I will base my research on the legend of the dead and resurrected god present in many religious myths coming from the middle east (ps : i'm sorry in advance for the grammar, syntax or spelling mistakes that you may find in this post, english is not my first language)

Bharani, situated in the heart of the rashi of aries is governed by Shukr: Venus but also by Yami and Yama in vedic mythology who are twins and gods respectfully of life and death.

Yama, the main deity of Bharani is said to be one of "8 celestial gatekeepers, who guards eight directional doorways or exits through which souls travel from an earthly plane to other planes of existence" making him the lord of Dharma since at one's death, he decides basing on his actions in what plane should one reincarnate.

Since Yama is responsible for directing the flow of life on Earth the association between bharani and the yoni becomes evident: the female reproducting system serves as a portal for souls to take on a physical form. So bharani as Claire Nakti perfectly described it relates to the feminine ability to receive, hold, nurture and ultimately transform through the womb.

Because Bharani aligns itself with all the feminine qualities by excellence it makes sense as to why Venus is it's ruler.

Venus is the roman name for the goddess Aphrodite: in greek mythology. She is said to be the goddess of love and beauty at large but also the goddess of war and sexuality. First because the ancient greeks saw the duality that links love to war and how they seem to come together through sex.

Also, Aphrodite is said to be born from the sperm of Ouranos when his testicules got cut by his son Saturn as he was always feconding Gaia, the Earth and causing her distress: he was acting cruel regarding their children. The sperm of Ouranus got mixed up with the foam of the Ocean creating Aphrodite which means "risen from the foam". So it was interesting to see that as Shukr also means sperm in sanskrit and it shows the origin of Venus as a fertility goddess too.

This conception of Aphrodite directly links her to ancient goddesses of love such as Ishtar or Inana in Mesopotamian/summerian mythology or Isis in egyptian mythology. Most of the time, these goddesses are the female counterpart of a god that was once mortal, got cursed, died and then came back to life for them to form an immortal couple.

In the case of Ishtar, her consort is Dumuzi or Tammuz and Osiris is the consort of Isis.

In Mesopotamian mythology :

Ishtar or Inana in sumerian is the goddess of love and sexuality, beauty, fertility as well as war because of her status as a " bloody goddess" mostly refering to her character in plenty of myths.

For example: in one story, she became infatuated with the king Gilgamesh, but the latter knowing her fierce reputation, refused her advances. As a result she got furious and unleashed the celestial Bull on Earth which resulted in 7 years of plagues. This celestial bull was later defeated by Gilgamesh and Endiku, and its corpse was throwed in front of Inana. Blinded by rage, she decided that as a punition Enkidu must die and sad at the death of his bestfriend Gilgamesh began his journey to find a cure to Death.

Bharani is a fierce or Ugra nakshatra meaning that its nature is agressive, bold and assertive in pursuing their goals. They are ruthless in the process of accompling what they desire the most and are inclined to extreme mood swings that can result in them to be "blinded" by their extreme emotions perfectly expressing the passionate character of Venus and her other equivalents in differents pantheons of antiquity.

Inana/ Ishtar's story with Dumuzi/Tammur begins as she was convinced to chose him by her brother Utu. Then she got married with the shepphard Dumuzi instead of whom she prefered the farmer: Enkinmdou. During the courtship, Inana prefered the fine textile of the farmer and his beer rather than the thick wool and milk of Dumuzi. The preference for the shepphard illustrates that at the time the Mesopotamian civilisation was known for their proliferent agriculture with the egyptians in the region, so this myth encapsulate the opposition between nomads and sendatary people at this specifific time period.

By the way, another symbol of Bharani is the cave and traditionnaly, the cave was used as a storage room for food. Also Bharani's purpose is Artha so these individuals are motivated to accumalate resources and provide safety and security, so Bharani can be linked to the exploitation of natural ressources like the soil illustrating the preference of Ishtar for the farmer. This is reinforced also by its Earth element.

So coming back to the myth, in a mesopotamian text called Inana's Descent to the Underworld, the goddess goes to Kur (hell) with the intent of conquering it, and her sister Ereshkigal who rules the Underworld, kills her. She learns that she can escape if she finds a sacrifice to replace her, in her search, she encounters servants who were mourning her death however she finds Dumuzi relaxing on a throne being entertained by enslaved girls. Enraged by his disloyalty she selects him as a sacrifice and he is dragged to the Underworld by demons.

He is eventually resurrected by Inana and they become an "immortal couple" as he may only come back to life for half of the year, being replaced by his son (?) who is also his reincarnation for the other half of the same years, so describing the cycle of regeneration of life.

Other mythologycal stories of goddesses in the near east describe a similar patterns:

The goddess Asherah is described as being the mother and the lover of her son Adonis.

The goddess Cybele in the phrygian pantheon takes the form of an old woman as she described as the mother of everything and of all. And at the same time she is the consort of Attis who his her own son (wtf ?)

Also, Yama and Yami are implicated in a incestuous entanglement where his sister Yama wanted to lay with him however he refused establishing himself as a god with an infaillible moral campus.

All of these representations illustrate the relation between the masculine and the feminine, life and regenration which are all topics related to Bharani nakshatra. Women by their capacity to give life are seen as the source of life and therefore are eternal as they are able to regenarate themselves through daughters which are identical to them whereas man who is unable to reproduce by himself, is therefore mortal feels the need to associate with her to resurrect through a son who is identical to him. Bharani exiting as the embodiment of the link between "the father and the offspring" which is the feminine vessel.

So this is certainly part 1, I think that these ancient myths are where Claire Nakti found her inspiration for her series on Bharani.

[itstimetojellyfish]

I have a small request for Genshin impact. Since Tighnari is a fennec fox character what if he met someone who’s exactly like him species wise and can actually stay in the desert for long periods of time? Also, please hydrate and eat 🫵

OHHHHHH THATS A GOOD PROMT ! THANKS ! Yes , I do have my basic necessities . Oh and , imma just use povs for this cause I dunno how else I’m going to explain emotions in this….

———————————————————————-

From beyond the forest.(Tighnari x reader)

You:

It’s been a long while since you’ve visited Gandharva Ville , since you had some free time , you decided to go to Sumeru City , and then visit .

Little did you know , in the decade you were gone , another Fennec Fox would be there in Sumeru City ……

Tighnari :

He was only visiting Cyno , Alhaitham , and Kaveh just for a game , and he’s fairly sure he hasn’t gone delusional.

So why was he chasing a person with long ears on top of their head and a tail .

It’s been awhile since he saw any of his kind , they left him a while ago .

So why does he see someone with pale long ears , just like his own, on top of their head when they turn around .

He catches up to them and taps them on their shoulder .

You:

You’re dumbfounded , last time you checked , there wasn’t another fox in Sumeru City…. But then again , that was a decade ago , someone might’ve moved in while you were gone .

“ Um excuse me! Are you by any chance a Fennec Fox too?!” The green and black haired man looked at you with a certain desperation inside his eyes .

You stare at him dumbfounded , as you regain your senses and respond to his question.” Yes , I am , are you by chance one too?”

He smiled before answering ,” Yes , I am! My name is Tighnari! What’s your name?”

Your eyes widen a bit , and then you respond , ” Y/N, “

After that encounter , you and Tighnari start to get to know each other , he introduces the new things of Sumeru to you , and you tell him how Sumeru was like when you were younger.

You two travel across the region of Sumerian and look at the plants along the way , making more observations and questions about them , and also taking down some witherings .

Soon , you reach the desert , you watch Tighnari panic for a bit , and then you ask ,” Is there something bothering you?”

He looks at you sheepishly before replying,” Well , umm…. I can’t go out in the desert for long periods of time …. But I need some herbs from the desert..”

You smile at him before telling him,” No worries ! Tell me what you need! I’m a desert fox so I can get them easily .”

He looks at you , surprise lingering in his eyes , before giving you a grin and then telling you he needs a few Ajilenakh nuts.

You nod at him before going into the desert with some water and food .

It was a long time before you returned , Tighnari worried that he actually put you in danger because he needed some herbs , he didn’t think to confirm you could actually go in the desert for long periods of time!

Before his thoughts could spiral even deeper into the hole of self-doubt . You gently tapped him on the shoulder .

You didn’t expect him to literally jump 7 feet into the air and cling onto a tree branch….

You stare at him , a bit speechless as he looks at you and then comes back down and gives a sigh of relief.

You hold up a pouch full of Ajilenakh nuts and then give it to him, he opens his mouth to ask for your condition, but you beat him to it.” Don’t worry , I’m fine , I’m a desert fox!”

Soon , you guys began to hang out more , and by chance , you fell asleep on his shoulder underneath a tree.

He smile say you before thinking.

Lesser Lord Kusanail gave him a gift from beyond the forest.

[fatuismooches]

Hold! Let me cook!

So, realistically, well not even that, it's a fact - language evolves and dramatically changes over the years, compare how we talk in this age to the letters of the past for example! The way we word things, how we formulate our sentences and the meaning behind them evolves with the context of current events, as in the use of modern slang compared to let's say, 1920s slang where they called alcohol "giggle water."

Now what am I on about? Well, I thought that hey: being comatosed for almost 500 years would surely mess up your communication, your words would be dated after all.

So here's the dish: Fragile!reader wakes up after 500 years, and can't understand a single lick of what anyone is saying.

A century passing = new slang and terms

Two centuries passing = grammar would have changed, but you could still hold a conversation

Anything past that? That's a new language! (See ye olden English from the medieval period, old English doesn't sound like our English!)

Poor fragile!reader spouting a dead language (old Sumerian) and the only one that understands is Dottore—

And, since their grammar would be different, the length they would speak would be different too! A bit hard to explain so:

[Reader: *Is speaking for a good thirty seconds*

*Confused cicin mage nodding along.*

Dottore, translating: "Your hair looks nice."]

Language anon here I just read your most recent post I served a cold-dish, room temperature, you were already on it 😭 I'm just gonna 🚪🏃‍♂️

ANON PLEASE, DON'T WORRY I LOVE THIS ASK SM 💗 And I was actually very much inspired by an anon right here so if anything, I'm also serving a cold dish as well 😭 But you're so right, the language of Teyvat has definitely changed a lot! From the way it's written, to new words, to old ones being now unused, pronunciation, and all that! Fragile reader was in for a shock for sure, because they would hear the segments and Dottore speaking in complete gibberish, and then switch back to the old language just for you. To reader, perhaps it's obvious that the language would no longer be the same but... it really hits them seeing it be so different right in front of them. You'd probably freak out a bit, considering literally no one can understand you, nor can you understand them.

Besides your lover, of course. Good thing he's a genius and made sure to preserve the old language for this day, and also program it into his segments. Thankfully, they are all quite patient in the process, as switching between languages is a piece of cake for them. I imagine you try very hard to learn certain words and phrases (how does one flirt in modern Teyvat? did courtship change much in 400+ years...? 🤔) in order to surprise him. Just don't do it too quickly... he will flirt back in much more advanced language that you don't quite understand yet and he'll laugh at your frustrated face. (AND READER TRYING TO BEFRIEND HER BY COMPLIMENTING HER BUT FAILING MISERABLY... you've been trying very hard for so long until he finally took pity on you.)

I imagine sometimes the two of them get jumbled together when you're feeling strong emotions, so only a select few people can really understand you. Sometimes, you still speak to Dottore in old Sumerian, if only to recall the old days.

[k-zu]

国崩 : ❝i abhor you.❞ ft. anemo scaramouche

he'd whisper under his breath, mesmerised by the sight of you, as the response of his sweaty weak hands failed to grab onto the last drop of remaining sanity. he'd believe it wholeheartedly too while caressing your face pretending his own isn't burning in red, or while he stares at the fake stars in the sky and idiotically wishes for the day his lips brush yours just to feel what it's like. because sometimes he finds that's all he's ever known, no one taught him how would love feel, no beating heart to feel racing with a ghostly touch or understanding of human emotions.

in reality, it's like you make him so hopeful his immediate reaction leads him to think he has to hurt you in some way, as if it wasn't enough for you to already know about his past, about who he is and what he has done to other people. maybe you just didn't catch enough information on him, he feels like he's deceiving you in some aspect, but even after all this time being the bad guy of the numerous tales, he may just feel the faintest ounce of guilt for doing it to you.

you, an insignificant passerby when he received his vision; the only witness of the wanderer, at the roots of some sumerian tree with the painfully annoying rays of the sun sliding smoothly through the leaves onto his face, resting his body from what it felt like a never-ending battle against the world. he obtained the anemo power then; when his struggle ceased and the outcome of the fight erased the name of the balladeer, when he lost but remained existing under a sumerian sun and had to find a new purpose for his vassal, when he let himself grief.

he became yours but free after you got closer to him and helped him with some minor injuries, and even then he showed his appreciation by staring at your soul with daggers trying to find an ulterior motive. and when he couldn't find any, he dreamt. for the first time in his immortal lie of life, he yearned for a new beginning with people as caring as you that wouldn't betray him, and that's exactly why he hates you.

a weak mortal human wouldn't be able to exist in flesh for as long as his memory serves him, that's why he mutters to you only, aching in despair: ❝i hate you in the future, when you leave me missing breathless kisses under the moon and a soul companion, when you become part of the endless sea of pretender stars and live only in my damned dreams. i hate you when you exist here and let me inadvertently desire to get you under my skin close to the hollow space where my heart should be so i can keep you safe. but i love you more now, and i'll love you forever even if it's the last thing i lose from you, and the one that'll hurt more.❞

a/n : ooc scaramouche maybe but WAAA im so excited to know more about him when he becomes playable.

[altair214]

The other day I was rewatching The Sandman with a friend and as I was watching Roderick Burgess summon Dream, I had a theory. In Overture, Dream talks about the two old gods that overpowered him in the Dreaming, imprisoned him, and then declared themselves the lords of the Dreaming.

Now, in the spell that Roderick Burgess uses to summon Dream, he calls upon the names of "the old Lords" and then names a bunch of random names that don't seem to ever be relevant to anything other than Dream being summoned by Burgess.

My theory is that Burgess, completely unknowingly, calls upon the long dead gods that had once imprisoned Dream to once again imprison Dream.

I got a lot of the information on these deities from this article which I found rather interesting to read, with some further google searching for some more information

Namtar is an ancient Mesopotamian god of death and disease and also means "fate" in Sumerian

Allatu is the Sumerian goddess of the underworld

Morax is a president of Hell, and it's worth noting that he's depicted as either having the head of a bull with the body of a man or the body of a bull and the head of a man

Naberius is a Marquis of Hell and is basically an equivalent of Cerberus, so is often depicted as having three dog heads, though he's also depicted as a raven

Klesh I cannot seem to find a deity that this figure was based off of, but in Hindi it means tribulation, so whatever this deity is, it's probably not a friendly one, it also means snake in Navajo

Vepar is a duke of Hell and is often shown as a mermaid, he controls water and can make ghost-ships appear

Maymon is the King of the spirits of Saturn, he can create snow and ice, and is associated with the direction north

Ashema-Deva I can't seem to find anything about, however Aeshma is a Zoroastrian demon of wrath

Maborym I cannot find anything about

Horvendile is the name of a character from the story that Shakespeare took a lot of inspiration for Hamlet from, it is also spelled as Ørvendil. Yet another spelling is Aurvandill, who is a figure from old Norse mythology. The name seems to mean something along the lines of "rising light" or "morning star"

So in summary, most or all of these figures are from various mythologies, but which ones may have been the ones that imprisoned Dream the first time?

I think that one of them is probably Morax, mostly because he is often depicted as a bull, which is probably the closest thing that someone can say that one of the gods shown in Overture looks like (though the god that attacked had both horns and tusks, which I'm not sure there is an animal with both horns and tusks, if there is please tell me).

The second one, the one the helm was crafted from, is a bit more difficult because none of these figures from mythologies look even remotely similar to the helm (I guess that makes sense considering the design for the helm came from gas masks rather than a creature from mythology). But I suspect that it would be one of the names that I can't find any information on, so probably Klesh, Ashema-Deva (if we're assuming that this is a different deity than Aeshma), or Maborym.

Now from a symbolism perspective, Dream crafted the helm as a reminder to himself of his failure, but then later triumph. The helm is sort of an emotional support for him and a reminder of what he is capable of and a reminder of what he has at stake at all times. So I think to say that the helm is a symbol of tribulation is fair. Therefore, my best guess as to who the helm was crafted from, is Klesh.

So my running theory is that the Dreaming was invaded by Morax and Klesh. Now Roderick Burgess calling upon them probably wouldn't have done much to summon Dream because they're long dead, however, Dream is the Prince of Stories, so the fact that it would be poetic for his second captor to call upon his first captors to aid in capturing Dream (although he wanted Death), would make some sense.

Of course, this whole rabbit hole could be just that: a rabbit hole. but I think it's a plausible and interesting theory and definitely adds some complexity to Dream's relationship with his own helm.

[sumerianlanguage]

Hello! How are you? I have a question about a word in Sumerian, that means a lot to me and a friend that is fond of ancient languages. What would be the word and symbol for “happiness” in sumerian? 🙂 thank you , very interesting blog!

Hello, and thanks for the kind words! There are several words for "happiness" in Sumerian. One is la "abundance, luxury, youthful freshness, bliss, happiness", written 𒆷 in cuneiform. Its reduplicated form lala 𒆷𒆷 can also mean "happiness, plenty, joy, (sex) appeal".

Another term is ningsaga 𒃻𒊷𒂵 "goodness, pleasure, happiness", from sag 𒊷 "good, pleasant, beautiful".

There's also hul 𒄾 "joy, joyous, to be joyful", along with the phrasal verb shag hul 𒊮𒄾 "to be happy, be delighted" and shahulla 𒊮𒄾𒆷 "delight".

I hope one (or more) of these work for you!

[zhongliologist]

Simply Yours | Kaveh

Pairing: Kaveh x fem!reader

Genre: SMUTTTT!!

Words: 4.7K

A/N: phew i was projecting on this to the high heavens. im just basing my characterization of Kaveh from the small snippets and descriptions of him. still i am down bad for this man, so you might see more of him here lmaooo also thank you @yostresswritinggirl​ for showing me those leaks of Kaveh >,<

THIS IS AN 18+ FIC. BY CLICKING THE READ MORE BUTTON, YOU HAVE UNDERSTOOD AND ACCEPTED THAT YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED AND LIABLE FOR THE DECISION YOU MADE.

You watched the arms of the clock turn in precise increments. Every second, every minute, every hour—time passes by without mercy, without consolation. As the night grew deeper, nilotpala blooms glowed like gems of the Sumerian forest while padisarahs danced at the sway of the summer breeze in long-lost tunes of the ancients, yet this desolate beauty offered you no repose.

As you silently regarded the forest canopy at the balcony of your room, your mind and your heart were at odds. Why is it that most objects have simple machinations? Clocks are mere arrangements of gears, springs and rods, while flowers are just petals, leaves, stems and roots. Yet, if anyone peered right into your heart, all they will see is a dark amalgamation of fear, self-loathing and weaknesses. Why can’t you be as simple as a flower? Or as straightforward as clockwork?

In the end, human emotions are complex and inexplicable. You could only wish it wasn’t.

The clock finally struck midnight. You leaned against the limestone guardrails decorated with rosettes, vines and lilies, mimicking Sumeru’s lush flora. This was the only place heavily—or you could say, lovingly, adorned with artistry like no other compared to the rest of the building. It was intentional, of course. He was just that type of guy.

Amidst the cacophony of forest noise, you heard the trapdoor opening, yet you didn’t even bother to look. After all, there was no point in knowing when there was only one person who would care to enter that way. Eventually, his footfalls grew nearer until you sensed him standing in front of you. You concentrated well on staring at the sleeping dusk bird perched on a nearby adhigama tree, yet all of it was wasted when he gently brushed a finger up your cheek towards your ear. You mulishly suppressed a shiver.

“I never thought you’d become some forlorn princess brooding on her balcony window while I was away,” he teased, his scarlet eyes twinkling like rubies in the moonlight.

You finally turned towards him—unimpressed was written all over your face. With brows raised and lips tight, you glanced at the hand that was still cupping your cheek, and then stared back at him.

“Kaveh.”

“Yes, love?” His voice was sweet; annoyingly sweet for your taste.

You sighed heavily. “Are you even supposed to be here?”

At your exasperation, Kaveh only chuckled and sat beside you on the wide guardrails. Taking one of your hands, he softly caressed each of your ink-stained fingers, as you watch his ministrations with a heartbeat as loud as thunderous lightning.

“Of course not, yet I simply had to see you,” he replied with a smile.

“There’s nothing simple about that,” you grumbled. “We could get caught by my parents.”

Kaveh smirked. “In that case, we’ll just say I’m yours and you’re mine, and be done with it.”

His words—and you meant everything that came from that smart-ass, yet pretty mouth—made you want to run away and hide under the covers, not because you didn’t like it, but because it was just so overwhelmingly incomprehensible to your logical mind for anybody to like you that much.

You snatched away your hand and covered your warming cheeks. There was no way you can face him after that.

“Please refrain from saying those kinds of things,” you reprimanded, yet he only hummed in amusement.

“Denied,” Kaveh leaned against the stone post behind him. “I like seeing you flustered. You look so adorable.”

His comment irked something in you, earning him a glare. “Go home.”

Before he could do anything, you turned away and got up from your place. Yet still, he was swift enough to stop you on your tracks.

“Fine, I’m sorry. I won’t tease you anymore,” he said with a defeated smile as he held both your arms in a way that was careful and measured. Even so, you regarded him with an eye of incredulity. “I’m not your source of entertainment,” you said with an air of finality.

“Yes, yes, I understand,” he replied, tucking a strand of stray hair behind your ear. “But I’m serious about what I said earlier. I would like to officially meet your parents. Not as Kaveh, the one who designed this house, but as someone seriously thinking about being with you for the rest of my life.”

“Wha—! You…!” Your voice immediately got caught in your throat. Of all things, this was the least you’d expect out from him.

Standing on the balcony’s edge, you could hardly hear the incessant chirping of crickets or the lonely hoots of owls against the violent thumping of your heart. There was nothing simple about this. Matters of the heart were not your specialty, in fact, you never thought you’d need it in your skill set, yet when you met him a few summers ago, you were suddenly thrown into a world you knew nothing about.

Silently, gently, Kaveh coaxed you into his arms; allowing you to bury your face on his chest. It was cute for you to be this way—the ever-composed, all-achieving poster child of the Akademiya all flustered underneath his embrace; only for his eyes to see. While he did wish to monopolize you like this, Kaveh guided you through this unknown territory patiently; unraveling not only you but also himself in the process.

“Have you calmed down yet?” he whispered, his hand soothingly patting your head for a while now. “Sorry if I caught you off-guard.”

“No, I just—“ You stuttered. “I just don’t know how to deal with all of this.”

“That’s fine. Take your time to digest it,” Kaveh replied as he began to sway the both of you gently without letting you go.

With a deep breath, you swallowed the lump on your throat and hesitantly wrapped your arms around him. Though you were still hiding your face, his scent and the warmth of his embrace had your heart racing again.

“You know, sometimes I wonder how you’re able to wait for me. I know you’re holding my hand through all of this like you promised. But I’m sure…somehow, you’d want to take things to the next level, and I feel like I’m holding you back. All I do is take from you and I don’t give anything in return. It makes me feel so inadequate, compared to what you do for me,” you confessed, voice muffled by the fabric of Kaveh’s shirt.

It was true though. Until now, there were times which you cannot comprehend what you were feeling. It was easy to distinguish anger, sadness, disappointment or joy, yet love was as ambiguous and complex as the roots of Irminsul. You were afraid that perhaps one day, you will realize that this was not love after all.

Knowing you wouldn’t want him to see your face at that moment, Kaveh settled with burying his nose in your hair. You may not know it but your words could easily play with the speed of his heartbeat. Ever since that summer years ago, his perspective has deepened, his rigid heart has softened and he had found his sanctuary in you. With you, he had become a better person—less temperamental, more soft, patient and understanding. Most importantly, you were the much-needed peace in his soul.

Kissing the crown of your head, Kaveh finally replied after allowing his heart to calm down.

“My dear, I may be an extravagant man, but being with you is all I’ll ever need. And it breaks my heart if you think you are not good enough because to me, you are already everything I need.”

Kaveh could feel you squirming in embarrassment between his arms, which made him chuckle a bit. You wouldn’t like those bold declarations of love.

“Allow me to put this in another way,” he continued, “please forgive me if I placed unnecessary pressure on you. That was never my intention. I truly don’t mind waiting, because I do not wish to force you into doing things you are not comfortable with. Like I promised then, we can take things slow.”

This time, his words gave you enough courage to look up. Somehow, you wanted to hear his response as you gazed right into his scarlet orbs. There are often things that go unnoticed if not seen by one’s very own eyes. As delicate as roses from Mondstadt, as brilliant as rubies from Liyue, as ephemeral as maple leaves from Inazuma—his eyes held strength and sincerity. Just by looking into him, you can read exactly how he was feeling.

“Can I trust you?”

You finally asked the question posed by your intrusive thoughts at midnights. Kaveh smiled warmly at you; it made you feel at home.

“If I may have the honor to have your trust, I will treasure it with my life.”

You flushed, but then grumbled petulantly. “You really have your way with words…”

He grinned at you as he cupped your cheek. “If I didn’t, would I have been able to worm my way inside your heart? Surely not.”

Dragging the both of you inside your room without ever letting you go from his arms, the blond continued talking playfully. “Who would’ve imagined that genius architect Kaveh would end up with little miss goody-two-shoes here?”

“Oh save me from your dramatics, we both know you were practically chasing after me,” you scoffed. “And speaking of genius architect Kaveh, you were kicked out of the house by Alhaitham again, weren’t you?”

On your question, your lover tossed the both of you on top of your bed. You knew he was avoiding answering.

“A matter of semantics. I was locked out of the house, not kicked out. Haitham took both keys with him when he skedaddled somewhere else,” he defended as he settled on top of you. “Besides, you were gone for a month, and I had to finish a project while you were away. I missed you terribly.”

“You’re not very convincing, Kaveh. I’m sure you’re after something else as well,” you remarked, twirling a strand of his blond hair between your fingers. With him hovering above you as you laid beneath him, both your positions were definitely setting up the mood.

He grinned, bringing his face closer to your ear. “You wouldn’t be Vahumana’s star student for nothing. You definitely saw right through me.”

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, already beginning to remove the fancy accessories in his being.

“Nah, I’ve been with you for so long, I just might be able to read your mind.”

“Oh, could you now?” Kaveh asked amusingly as he arched a brow. “Tell me what’s on my mind then.”

Smirking, you slipped his cape right off together with all the jewelry and tossed it next to the bed. “You haven’t been laid for some time, and now you’re horny and want a bit of my attention.”

“Well, if I may?” he asked, kissing the knuckles of your hands; his eyes shining excitedly.

Smiling, you replied. “You may.”

In the next several moments, you did give him your attention, but not as much as how Kaveh practically worshiped you. His lips first found purchase on yours, tentatively at first yet evolved into a hungrier and rougher sort of kiss. He would dive deep, tongue and all, as if trying to fit every ounce of his love for you in one kiss. Of course, that would never be enough at all.

Kaveh can easily take your breath away. He was the sort of man who openly expressed his emotions; often extravagantly but it was genuine and in your opinion, rather endearing. His love making was no different. His hands would gently caress all your curves and flats, as he expertly removed your clothes without much thought.

“I missed you, Y/N…truly,” he whispered as his lips left rosettes from your neck down to your collarbones.

You could only whine, clinging to his white shirt which was already draped messily over his body. Eyeing his physique, you wondered how he was able to maintain such a toned body after so much studying in a desk all day, but still you appreciated it and ran your hand over his pectorals down to his abs.

At your ministrations, Kaveh stopped and gave you a knowing look. That look irked you to no end, yet it was hot at the same time, making you unable to hold onto that annoyance.

“If you want to touch, just say so,” he said with a grin as he placed your hand over his chest. He knew you had the tendency to run away if you get embarrassed, so he held you tightly in place without anywhere to go to.

Without a choice, you pursed your lips and began touching him. Kaveh’s muscles were sturdy yet soft at the same time; each muscle prominent to your touch. Sneaking a glance at his face, you saw him flushed red from ear to ear with half-lidded eyes and lips parted slightly. It was obvious he was trying his best to hold on.

“Alright, enough of that.”

He suddenly seized your hand and kissed you once again. If Kaveh was honest, your observations were definitely not far off. If he hadn’t stopped you then, he might’ve popped then and there, and it will be all over. He at least wanted this moment to be a little longer.

It had been a while since he had you between his arms, and he was more than eager to savor you from head to toe. With both hands, he fondled your chest as gently as he could while he played with your sensitive nubs. Kaveh eagerly lapped on one while he teased the other with his fingers. He was a tactile sort of person and he definitely loved the soft heaviness of your chest on his palms.

As he moved from your chest to your stomach and down further, you on the other hand, was rendered into a moaning mess. There was no part of your body which was not touched by Kaveh’s lips, and he definitely left evidence of his touch with dark splotches whenever he can. Beside your belly button, on your inner thighs, down to your knees and even on your feet—he kissed them all as if they were all sacred.

Suffice to say, the foreplay was driving you insane. He hadn’t even touched your core yet you knew you were drenched. This is how Kaveh would make love—slowly, deliberately and meticulous to a fault. He can withhold his own satisfaction, saying that the wait made the reward more delicious. That’s why even before the main event, he had you already trembling and shivering in pleasure.

“Kaveh…please…I need you now…” you moaned, unable to bear his incessant teasing any longer.

Your lover only grinned at you as he placed a small peck on your lips. “Don’t worry, dear. I’ll make you come right away.”

Without any warning, Kaveh plunged two fingers inside of you; your juices enough to accommodate his digits effortlessly. You immediately arched your back at the sudden penetration, clinging onto the sheets for dear life.

“Kaveh, you little shit…!” you cursed, almost drooling at how his fingers easily found your sensitive spot.

“Yes, love?” He teased. You knew he was aware what you truly wanted, and yet he was enough of a jerk to withhold it from you. He liked it when you were slightly mean to him, as if he had some twisted satisfaction in your act of defiance. Thus, Kaveh will make sure that you come with his fingers until you could no longer tell what was right from left.

“F-Fuck…fuck…!” You repeated as he kept pumping his long fingers inside of you, his palm often brushing against your sensitive nub.

Taking it up a notch, he placed himself between your legs and began lapping on your juices spilling from your cunt. His tongue would often circle teasingly around your clit and suck on it without warning, earning a load groan from you. You were getting closer. He knew it as well as he felt your walls tighten around his fingers. It was at this moment that he added another finger and pressed against your spot over and over again.

“Oh gods…Kaveh…! Please!”

In your head, your body felt like a huge bundle of nerve endings; spasms hit you over and over again in waves of pleasure. It was as if you were burned and electrified simultaneously. In no time, something inside you snapped and you came moaning his name on your lips.

Still recovering from your massive orgasm, Kaveh pulled out his fingers and licked them one by one as he had his eyes on you.

“Never had appetizer as good as you, my love. Perhaps, we shall move on to the main course.”

In your deliriousness, you noticed the large tent on his pants, yearning for attention. He had noticed your stares too and a smirked formed on his lips.

“Are you curious?” Kaveh asked as he crawled on top of you. “You haven’t tried it before.”

“I—“ you began. Yes. You were indeed curious. You wondered how it would feel to have it in your mouth; learning that other couples do it as well.

Gazing into his maroon eyes for a moment, you then nodded tentatively. He nodded back wordlessly and sat on the bed; coaxing you to come nearer.

“Are you a hundred percent sure about this?” he asked, now back to his serious, more protective self as he supported both of your arms.

“Yes,” you immediately answered. “I want to see you feeling good as well…”

“Alright. But know that we can stop anytime if you feel uncomfortable.”

Nodding once more, you settled yourself between his legs as he finally released himself from the restraints of his pants.

Now that his cock was right before your face, you had never realized that Kaveh was more well-endowed than normal even though you had him inside of you several times. You began to doubt if you had made the right decision. Yet, you had already decided not to run away and finally see things through.

Tentatively, you gave the tip a peck and watched how Kaveh would react. You were slightly disappointed that he only gave you a reassuring smile. But that only made you more determined to have him at your mercy.

Slowly, you took him, allowing yourself to adjust to his length and girth. When you finally bottomed up, you began bobbing your head up and down his length, making sure there were no teeth involved.

"Y/N…" he growled breathily, making you glance up at him.

There you saw him bright red, holding onto the sheets with force enough to rip them apart. He was struggling, prompting you to doubled your efforts to make him come apart. In his view, Kaveh knew he was a goner when he looked down at you, eagerly trying to make him feel good. He wanted to force your head down and move at his own pace yet he held back, allowing you to pleasure him as much as you wanted.

With lips parted and head thrown back, Kaveh felt his climax nearer than expected. While a little clumsy, your mouth felt so good with your tongue wrapped around him. He was in an unimaginable amount of pleasure when you sucked the tip as you pumped the rest of his shaft.  He could feel himself stretched over thinly. Anytime now, he would surely climax.

"Fuck…Y/N…! Wait…!" He exclaimed, yet it was already too late.

The moment you gazed up at him as you hummed, the vibrations from your mouth sent him to high heavens. Ropes of hot white cum filled your mouth down to your throat as Kaveh rode out his climax. You were of course, surprised, coughing as the amount spilled from your lips.

"Y/N—! I’m so sorry, I should have said—" he was hurling apologies at Mach speeds, so you held your hand to stop him.

“It’s…fine,” you replied, still struggling to regain your voice. It was truly fine though. You got want you wanted. The way Kaveh looked so uninhibited, with his shirt open and muscles contracting at every wave of stimulation—that was enough fodder to fuel your lonely nights. Moving towards him, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and cupped his still flushed cheeks.

“I understand it now,” you placed a peck on his lips. “I like how you look when you’re drowning in pleasure.”

Kaveh blinked for a moment and then chuckled. “Really now?”  

Placing his arms around your waist, Kaveh pressed his face against your bare chest. Breathing in your scent, his clear mind became heady again; just truly addicted to your presence. There was nowhere in the world he wanted to be than in your arms; head hazy and drunk in lust and pleasure. The Kaveh of years ago would balk at how lovesick he was acting for a single girl. Now, that would be hilarious.

Littering pecks and bites down your abdomen, he just couldn’t get enough of you.

“I love you. I love you so much, you couldn’t even imagine.”

“Wha—“ you paused, “Please give me a warning next time you say something like this. I don’t think my heart can handle it anymore.”

Kaveh smiled as he placed a peck on your stomach. “Then, you better get used to it, because I have all the intentions to marry you.”

“Settle your debts first and we’ll talk,” you replied with a smirk, yet it was easily wiped away when he pushed you down on the mattress.

“Aww…is that non-negotiable?” he asked, feigning disappointment as he attacked your face with numerous kisses. “I was hoping you’d help me out.”

“Don’t give me that,” you laughed, “I’m sure the genius architect can figure something out.”

“What a way to stroke my ego.”

Raising your brows, you glanced down on his pants and his now erect member. “How about that? Want to do something about it?”

“So you’re still up for more? I was trying to be considerate.”

“Oh please. Knowing you, you’d probably be up for a few rounds after.”

“I’ll take that as a yes then,”

With those words, Kaveh pressed his lips against yours, easily melding with your tongue. He nibbled at your lower lip, gently at first, and then bit hungrily in a bout of lust. There was an immediate flurry of haste—the rest of his clothes thrown away to some part of the room, while his hands caressed at every part of you he could reach. At this point, your skin was filled with splotches of color; his masterpiece he would call it.

“Kaveh…hurry up…” you mewled, your hands on his tousled blond hair as he gave your thighs more pecks and love bites. He could easily get lost in his ministrations.

“So eager for me, huh?” he grinned. Listening to you this time, Kaveh kneeled in front of you, his large cock on one hand. He spread your legs apart; your cunt glistening with all the juices you had accumulated because of him. Placing his shaft over your slit, he rubbed himself against you—the head of his dick touching your clit, easily making you squirm underneath him.

“You look so adorable this way, Y/N,” he remarked, eyes feral and deadly. “Makes me want to fuck you senseless.”

You groaned impatiently. “Then fuck me! Fuck me already Kaveh…! I want you now…please—!”

That was enough to drive Kaveh wild. “As you wish.”

With gritted teeth, he pinned both of your hands with one hand and gazed right into your eyes, waiting for your word. When you nodded, he positioned himself and plunged into you in one move, making you arch your back at the sudden stimulation which sent electricity up and down your spine.

“Oh gods…” you whimpered; allowing his size to stretch you out in the best ways possible. It had truly been a while since you last had him inside of you; you almost forgot how immaculate it felt.

Unbeknownst to you, Kaveh was trying his best to rein himself, with brows furrowed and eyes tightly shut. It felt so good to have you around him that he forgot how to breathe, only allowing himself to relax when you reached out to him for a kiss.

“Just stay like that for a bit,” you muttered, savoring his warmth and his scent.

“Y/N…I don’t think I can…” he choked out, burying his face on your neck to distract himself. “Please…I…”

“You’re such a lightweight,” you teased him, nibbling his already red ears. “Fine, you can move now.”

Not wasting another moment, Kaveh growled and pushed himself deeper into you, earning a surprised yelp from you. Steadily, he built up his pace until you were muttering his name over and over again. With hands tightly gripping your waist, Kaveh thrusted into you ruthlessly, the tip of his cock pressing against your g-spot.

“K-Kaveh…! Wait…!”

“Who’s the lightweight now, huh?” he snickered between gritted teeth.  To be honest, he was no better but he couldn’t help but poke fun at you.

One thing you noticed about Kaveh over the years was that he can be gentle if he wanted to, but often, he liked it when you were writhing underneath him, unable to think, unable to control yourself. The image of you—hair messy on the sheets, lips swollen from all the kisses, and body filled with his marks—was enough to push him to the brink of ecstasy.

“Come here,” he commanded, pulling you to sit on his lap. You keened at how he sank deeper into you, the stimulation driving you into deliriousness. Yet Kaveh continued to fuck you mercilessly, ever-determined to see you drunk in lust and ecstasy.

“Yes…fuck! That feels so good…! Kaveh—”

“Y/N…are you close…?” he asked, mouth lapping at your nipples.

“Haaa….yes…! Just keep going…”

Kaveh groaned as he felt your walls tighten around him. He knew you were close to snapping at any moment, yet he further encouraged it by rubbing circles on your sensitive clit. The sudden intensity sent you spiraling towards your orgasm, nails digging on his bare back as you tightened around him.

Yet that didn’t stop Kaveh from thrusting roughly into you, his pace becoming bold and erratic as he neared his climax. Overstimulated, you could allow the mind-numbing pleasure to wash over you as it coursed through your nerves; with eyes half-lidded and mouth drooling.

“Fuck…! I want to fill you up…” Kaveh growled breathily, sucking and biting the skin on your neck. “YN…I’m coming!”

In a matter of seconds, you felt Kaveh bury himself in you to the hilt. You could feel his hot cum filling you up, spilling out of you. At the same time, your screams filled his ears as he sent you to your second orgasm; your body shaking and trembling at the intensity of your climax. Still riding the spells of pleasure, Kaveh captured your lips once more, now gentler and filled with love. His lips sensually moved against yours, prompting to open your mouth to let him in.

“Kaveh…” you whispered. Your hands brushed his long blond hair, now tousled and messy from all the lovemaking.

“Let’s stay like this for a little while...” he replied, taking in your scent as he allowed his breathing to catch up.

And so, the both of you sat motionless for a moment until Kaveh released you from his grasps and gently laid you down on the bed. He did groan as he pulled out, but he only repositioned himself closer beside you.

It was in these moments that Kaveh seemed truly vulnerable. The way he clung onto you, relishing on the afterglow, made it obvious that his words were no lies. He loves you, and he would take any opportunity to show it to you. You still wondered how this man was able to adore you, unconditionally and often times, dramatically. Yet you guessed it was just him genuinely expressing his love in the way that he knows.

Brushing a strand of blond hair away from his face, you saw a smirk creep up from his lips; his scarlet eyes flutter open.

“Shall we go for round two?”

[silentglassbreak]

Fragmented

Noah Sebastian x OFC

I had far too much fun writing this chapter.

Warnings: Threats of violence.

+It goes without saying. This is a work of fiction. My words are mine. Plagiarism is a crime.

Taglist: @flowery-mess @lma1986 @myownthoughts12 @poisongirl616 @missduffsblog @reidsblessing @malerieee @jilliemiw86 @thisbicc @xx-like-a-villian-xx @diabolicdiatonics

Part 10 - Take Me Under

“She’s actually fucking suing us?!”

“Mr. Sebastian, I understand you’re upset, but I’m going to have to ask that you lower your voice.”

I tightened my jaw, and squeezed my eyes shut. Elizabeth was sat across the table, her eyes stern on all of us.

After I got the paperwork last night, I called Jolly, who immediately called Alec. The rest of the guys were all served the same lawsuit this morning, and we were told to meet down at Rourke, Mansfield, and Jones, Elizabeth’s office.

I was breathing heavily, massaging my temple with one hand.

“Ms. Hollis has filed for wrongful termination, emotional distress, and sexual harassment.” Her eyes looked up at us, Alec’s mouth hanging open wide. “She’s seeking two million in damages.”

I felt the air leave my lungs.

Two million dollars?

“We have thirty days to respond to the suit, so we need to discuss if we want to counter sue.”

“Wait…what does that mean?” Folio looked absolutely puzzled.

“It means that we can sue her back, for damages.” Jolly chimed in, leaning back in his chair and tapping his fingers on the table.

“How the fuck can she even do this?” I was working overtime to keep my voice even, tugging at my turtleneck.

“She can do whatever she wants. Whether she wins or not is the real question.” Elizabeth and her co-counsel were sitting, flipping through the complaint paperwork. The man sat next to her, who was introduced as Richard Rourke, head of the firm, had his eyes scanning the paperwork at lightning speed.

“Her case is fairly weak, but it’s hard to tell how much ground she can get until we take depositions.” His voice was impossibly deep, serious as a heart attack.

“Depositions?” Nick spoke up.

“Statements. About all of the events.” Elizabeth clarified.

Alec, who had a copy of the complaint in front of him, was reading through it. My eyes glanced over.

“This references the night at the club and the hotel, and then an incident in San Diego where you intimidated her?”

He looked at me sideways, and I rolled my eyes.

“I didn’t fucking intimidate her. I went to her room to give her a piece of my fucking mind.”

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. “In what way?”

“I banged on her God damn door, and yelled at her. She had manipulated me!”

She closed her eyes and set her pen down. “Noah, she says in the suit you lunged at her, and she had to hide behind the door. And that you had to be restrained by Mr. Ruffilo and Mr. Karlsson. That’s not true, right?”

I sat back and scoffed, eyes falling to the table. “This is insane.”

“Mr. Sebastian? Is it true?” Richard asked, baritone voice vibrating through me.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed hard. “It may be.”

The two lawyers exchanged glances, eyes solemn.

“Alright, look,” Elizabeth took her glasses off and set them on the table, her demeanor relaxing for a moment. “I’m going to level with you. I don’t know that we get out of this without some kind of offer.”

I clenched my teeth, staring intently at her.

“I’ve spoken to the insurance, and they’ve assured that if we can get the sexual harassment piece dropped, they will cover this. But if we can’t? This would be out of pocket.”

“To who?” Jolly asked. “To Sumerian?”

Elizabeth shrugged, eyes softening. “It would be joint liability between Sumerian, and Bad Omens, which means all of you may be liable.”

My mouth fell open. “It’ll bankrupt us! We’re successful, but not two million dollars successful!”

“Okay, let’s just take a step back.” Richard placed his palm on the table. “We’re not there yet. For now, let’s just decide if we intend to counter sue, or attempt to settle.” He raised an eyebrow at us. “Either we fight, or we fold. Ultimately it’s up to the insurance, but if they don’t cover it, you guys need to be all in.”

“We’ll give you all a few minutes to discuss it.” Elizabeth stated before she stood from the table with Richard, them both making way toward the door.

Once they left, we all turned toward each other, eyes on Alec.

“What do we do?” Nick asked, Alec looking stressed.

“My gut tells me to take a stand. Who knows what kind of message we’re sending this girl if we just offer to settle?”

I shrugged. “Dude, what is this going to do to our reputations?”

Jolly voiced his opinion. “Well, if it goes our way, it could show a lot of integrity on our end. Not allowing someone to take advantage?”

“Fuck man, I don’t know about you guys, but I ain’t got a million fucking dollars to pay this chick.” Folio was rubbing his face.

“None of us do. But do we really want to let her win?” Nick shrugged.

“Okay, but does that mean we go as far as counter suing her?” I asked.

“I think we should. Emotional distress? Defamation?” Jolly’s voice was concerned.

Folio chuckled. “Realistically, Noah could sue for sexual harassment.”

I eyed him in disbelief. “You think?”

“Fuck yeah, man.” Nick piped up. “She threw herself at you, told people she was going to fuck you, made passes at you. Followed you to your hotel room in the middle of the night? Sounds like harassment to me.”

My chest rose and fell, trying to maintain a sense of calm. “Okay. So let’s do it.”

“That means the insurance won’t back us. It’s a big gamble. Are you sure?” Alec looked directly at me.

“Will Sumerian support us?”

With a sincere grin, Alec clapped my shoulder. “One hundred percent. You guys are family.”

Jolly snorted. “We’ve made the label a lot of money, is what he means.”

Alec pointed at Jolly. “That too.”

This made us all start laughing, like a band of fucking hyenas.

At that moment, Elizabeth and Richard re-entered the room.

“Sounds like we’ve made a decision?” Richard stood with his hands in the pockets of his perfectly ironed slacks.

I pushed my chest out, giving everyone at the table one last look for assurance.

“We’re all in.”

-

The next month was a whirlwind. The album release was on hold until the lawsuit was dealt with, which was entirely up in the air. Rachel’s lawyers were surprised at our decision to file a counter to their suit, and we received the official denial from the insurance company.

Sumerian hired separate lawyers for each of us upon Elizabeth’s request, to forego any conflicts of interest. I got to stick with Elizabeth specifically, as we filed as separate plaintiffs for the sexual harassment suit. It was all so official, so litigate, that I barely understood any of it.

I had several different meetings with Elizabeth, who insisted I refer to her as Liz, in preparation for my deposition. She told me essentially what I could and couldn’t say, and what would build our case better.

She had me email her the texts threads between Rachel and I, and had gone over each event in disgusting detail so many times. Down to the color of Rachel’s fucking panties. It was grotesque, but I had hoped it was a means to an end. I was exhausted by it all.

Aside from that, I had barely spoken to Mileena since Knott’s, not feeling the same level of affection I did previously. Something about her attitude toward our situation, and the fact that she had reacted the way she did, sat heavy on my heart, keeping the feelings of want and missing her at a good distance, being replaced with resentment and frustration.

When I saw her each week to exchange Addison and Angel, I kept our contact brief, most times not even letting her in. I knew she was hurt by it, now clearly over our argument, but I didn’t feel bad. In fact, I felt satisfied. Some part of me, a sick, enraged part, wanted her to hurt. Maybe then she’d feel how I had been over the last four and a half fucking months.

I was paying a price for all of this that I didn’t fucking deserve, and after a lot of careful consideration, I finally recognized that. Maybe it wasn’t her who deserved better. Maybe it was me.

Most times when she called, I let it go to voicemail. Most texts were left unanswered. I spoke to her as much as I had to, and not a breath more.

Today, she was due to drop Addison off, but she was late. That was becoming more and more of a trend. Had I not been such a tolerant human, I may be annoyed with her. But given all of my other circumstances, I elected not to be, and just enjoy the small bits of extra time I had to be alone.

When my doorbell chimed, I jogged down the stairs, shirtless, having been folding laundry upstairs.

I answered the door and was surprised to find Laura on the other side, Addison standing at her side and holding her hand.

As always, I greeted my daughter first, then Angel, bringing them in, and then swung the door open to let Laura inside, but she politely declined.

“Sorry, I can’t stay. I need to get home.”

I just raised an eyebrow. “Everything okay?”

She shrugged, an impatient look behind her smile. “Do you care?”

This struck me, making me double take before responding. “What?”

“Noah, you’ve avoided her for weeks. And then you don’t even ask why she’s not here? Do you care if everything is okay?”

I smiled, now annoyed but trying not to show it. “Uhm, I wasn’t asking about Leena specifically, but alright.”

She huffed. “I’m sorry. It’s just been a rough day.”

“You’re good. Just making sure you guys are alright.”

Laura nodded. “I am. Just tired. Leena’s…” She sighed. “She’s dealing.”

“With?”

“Everything? Her and Justin broke up, which wasn’t pretty. You’re not talking to her. She didn’t get the job she wanted. And the lawsuit.”

I raised a hand to stop her. “The lawsuit? That has nothing to do with her.”

She raised her brows, eyes popping open. “No one told you?”

I just shook my head.

“Leena was subpoenaed by Rachel’s lawyer to give a statement. We both were.”

I deadpanned, my brain not processing the information.

“What?!”

“Yeah. We don’t know why, but we can’t get out of it, apparently.”

My hand clenched the doorknob, threatening to break it off. “What the fuck do they want your statements for?”

She shook her head. “No clue.”

I groaned. “Let me call my lawyer. I’ll see what I can find out.”

Laura smiled. “Thanks. I know she’ll appreciate that.”

My jaw clicked. “Not doing it for her.”

Laura rolled her eyes. “Noah, she’s really struggling. I caught her trying to buy vodka.”

“Oh,” I crossed my arms over my chest, glancing back in the house to see Addison sat in front of the TV, toys in hand. “so she’s about where I was four months ago? Sounds about right.”

Her eyes narrowed at me. “You have no empathy for her? She’s supposed to be your soulmate, isn’t she?”

I laughed at that. What a joke. “Yeah, I fucking thought so. But instead she toyed with my emotions so she could fuck me whenever she felt like it.” I leaned back on the doorframe, crossing one leg over the other. “So pardon me if I don’t feel bad. Her being butthurt over her and her boyfriend breaking up sounds like a her problem.”

Laura was staring at me, clearly taken back by my attitude. “You’ve changed, Noah.”

Nodding, I smiled with no joy. “You’re right. I have. It happens when someone is pushed to their breaking point.”

She began to take a step back toward her car. “She loves you.”

Considering this, I resolved to just stating what I considered the obvious. “She doesn’t love me, Laura. She loves the idea. She loves that I love her. That she can do whatever she wants, and I would be here waiting. Too bad that’s over.”

And with that, I shut the door.

I waited an hour until Addison was settled down for her nap before I dialed Elizabeth.

She answered on the second ring. “Hey Noah, how you doing?”

“I’m alright, I just needed to ask you something.”

“What up?”

“Did you know Mileena Richards and Laura Perry were subpoenaed to be deposed?”

The line went silent for a few beats.

“By who?”

“Rachel’s attorney.”

I could hear her breathe on the other end. “Why? Do you know?”

“No. I saw Laura today and she told me. They don’t know why either.”

“Mm,” I could hear a pen clicking on the other end. “Isn’t Mileena your daughter’s mother?”

“She is.”

“And you two aren’t together, correct?”

“Right.”

She sighed. “I’ll call the other attorney. Realistically, this could work out for us.”

I furrowed my brow. “How is that?”

“Well, what's the likelihood that the mother of your child is going to badmouth you?”

I chewed my thumbnail. “Erm,”

I hesitated, and I could hear her voice become apprehensive.

“What?”

“We’re not exactly on good terms.”

“How bad?”

“I mean, it could be worse, I guess? We’re not exactly speaking?”

“Well,” She had a light laugh in her words. “who does she hate more? You, or Rachel?”

I snorted. “Valid point.”

“Exactly. I wouldn’t worry. But probably best you smooth things over a little bit with her.”

Groaning, I sat back on the couch. “It’s complicated.”

“So un-complicate it. Be nice.” She chuckled. “I get that’s hard for you.” I rolled my eyes.

“I can try.”

“Just don’t discuss the case.”

I affirmed, and ended the call.

Staring at my screen, I pulled up our text thread, eyes scanning over the ignored texts from the last few weeks. They came less frequently as time had gone on.

Leena: Noah, we should talk about this.

The night of the fight.

Leena: So, we’re not talking now? Can you answer the phone?

Leena: I don’t want to fight, Noah. I just want to talk.

The next day.

Leena: Well, for what it’s worth, I broke up with Justin. Hope you’re happy.

Three days later.

Leena: Could use a friend. Can I call you, please?

Two weeks later.

Leena: I’ll drop Addie off about 11 today. I’ve got to get her bathed first.

Three weeks.

Leena: I miss you.

Yesterday.

I sighed hard, nearly regretting my decision, but typing the message anyway.

Me: Got a few?

The message was read, but the typing bubble didn’t pop up for four minutes.

Leena: For?

Rolling my eyes, I fired back a message.

Me: To talk.

Leena: Is Addie okay?

Me: Napping.

Leena: So what’s there to talk about?

Frustrated, I set my phone down. She wasn’t going to make this easy.

Me: Just…talk?

Leena: We haven’t talked in weeks. You haven’t wanted to.

Me: Now I do.

The message was read, but no type bubble appeared. I sat, staring at the screen, surprised when I saw her name flashing, a call coming through.

I swiped it open.

“Hey.” I kept my voice calm, trying to sound casual.

“What’s up?” Her voice sounded so tired, despondent. A pang of guilt hit me, but I swallowed it.

“How are you?”

She was quiet, which made me fidget in anticipation.

“You want to know how I am? Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

A hard sigh came through the receiver, and I stood up, needing to pace to keep my nerves in place.

“You’re kidding, right?” She should sound annoyed, exasperated. Instead, she sounded depressed.

“Nope.”

“Noah, what’s going on? What do you want to talk about?”

I stopped pacing, scrubbing a hand over my face and hair. “I just…” Lying to her was harder than I remember. “Laura mentioned you were going through it.”

“So?”

“I wanted to check in.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I do still care about you.”

A weak, tired laugh came through. “Sure you do.” I didn’t respond, not knowing what to even say. “This has nothing to do with the lawsuit, right?”

I sat back down on the couch, leaning my elbows on my knees.

“No. We’re not even supposed to talk about it.”

She scoffed. “So it is about the lawsuit. You talked to your lawyer, and she’s afraid I’m going to shit talk you?”

Was she fucking psychic?

“It’s not about that, Leena.”

“So what’s it about then?” There was a little more fire now, and it made my own spark ever so slightly.

“It’s about wanting to know if you’re okay.”

“Define ‘okay’.” The seriousness in her tone was unmistakable.

“Well, why don’t you tell me how you are, and I’ll tell you if that’s okay?”

This made her laugh, a dark, angry sound. “Let’s see. I’m breathing. I’ve eaten some in the last couple days. I showered today, I guess that’s good. How’s that?”

Sarcasm dripping from her words, I cringed.

“Sounds okay, I suppose.”

“So glad you think so.”

“Leena,” I closed my eyes, trying not to give in to the argument building inside of me. “can you blame me for distancing myself?”

She didn’t answer, so I continued.

“You got so mad at me, and I kept being made out to be this villain. The fucking bad guy. Every time. I can only take so much.”

Still no answer, so I checked the phone to make sure the call was still connected. I heard a breath on the other end, but I kept talking.

“The way you feel now? That’s how I felt for months. Just sitting. Waiting. Hurting. Maybe it’s fair that you feel it for a little while, too.”

Her voice was strained. “You don’t think I was hurting?”

Biting my lip, I answered carefully. “Didn’t seem like it.”

“Noah, breaking up with you was so painful, I thought it may fucking kill me.”

“That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?”

The sound that came through was something like a gasp.

“Did you call me just to mock me? Tell me I deserve this?”

“No.”

“So why did you call?”

“I don’t know.” I let my head fall forward. “Just wanted to.”

“Yeah? Well maybe you should just leave me to fucking wallow, then.”

“Mileena, Jesus fucking Christ, stop!” I finally snapped.

Going silent again, I took my chance.

“Despite the fact that I’m angry at you, and am not entirely sure what I want anymore from you, I still fucking care! I still love you.”

“Do you?”

Letting my breath go, I squeezed the phone. “Yes. Don’t ever fucking doubt that.”

There was a moment, a fleeting second, where I felt the pain. Where her hurt was pouring out. It came out as a choked sob.

“Noah?” Her voice was thick with tears.

“Hmm?” Was all I could muster.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” I pushed back my own tears, not willing to let them fall.

“For what I did to you. I shouldn’t have done it.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Done what?”

“Left you.” Her voice was cracked clean in half, now becoming hysterical. “I fucked up. I fucked everything up and now I’ve lost you. I should have just fought harder. Talked to you. I never should’ve done any of this.”

It was too much. It was too hard, threatening to rip my heartstrings right out and worm its way back in past my walls.

“I’ve got to go.”

She stopped her words short, hearing me.

“Oh.” She sniffled. “Okay, I’m sorry.”

“I’ll call you later.”

I hung up the phone, tossing it onto the couch. Letting my face fall into my hands, I allowed myself only a moment of weakness, where I cried, with no restraint, alone in my living room.

-

The room we sat in was so fucking cold. Who manages the fucking temperatures in these legal buildings?! It was at least sixty degrees, making a chill run up my spine, beneath my black blazer. Liz sat next to me, typing on her cell.

“How long is it supposed to be?”

She didn’t look up at me to respond. “Should be anytime now. I know they can’t start without us.”

“Leena’s late.”

She sighed. “They can wait. They want her statement? They can wait for her.”

I nodded, hearing the doors to the lobby open, and seeing two bodies walk in.

I hadn’t seen Mileena in two weeks since we spoke on the phone. Laura had done all hand-offs since then. We hadn’t spoken, and I nearly regretted it.

I’m not sure what I expected. Leena to walk in, hair a mess? Makeup running? Wearing sweats?

Instead, she tapped in her favorite black short heels, pencil skirt that hugged her hips, white button-up blouse tucked in, top button undone. Her black hair was pin-straight, lips painted a deep crimson, and black eyeliner sharpening around her brown irises, she looked…unbelievable.

I should be bummed, but instead, I was delighted. I could be angry with her, and still appreciate how stunning she was.

Her and Laura approached Liz and I, stopping in front of us. My lawyer and I stood, her taking their hands one at a time and shaking them. “Nice to meet you both. I’m Elizabeth Jones, Mr. Sebastian’s attorney.”

Mileena smiled at her, but I noticed her eyes remained cold, not looking at me.

“Good to meet you. Are they ready?”

Before Liz could respond, the door opened, a young woman beckoning us in the room.

We all sat around a long table, Rachel at one end, and I at the other. The tension in the room was so gelatinous, it could be cut with a plastic spork. My stomach made an uncomfortable turn when Rachel’s lawyer took Laura’s statement first, Liz objecting to, what felt like, random questions, and told her very brief knowledge of the events.

“Do we need a recess before we proceed with Ms. Richards?”

All eyes turned to Mileena, who had sat still as a statue the entire time, three seats away from me.

She shook her head. “I’m good if you are. I’d like to be done. I have my daughter with a sitter.”

Rachel’s audacity was showing as she rolled her eyes to Mileena’s statement. I bit down hard on my tongue.

“Alright, Ms. Richards. Let’s get started.” The tall, skinny man who represented Rachel walked Mileena through her oath, and began asking questions right away.

“How long have you known Ms. Hollis?”

“Since about September 2023, when Noah was on tour.”

“And what was your relationship with Ms. Hollis?”

“Friendly. We were acquaintances. She worked for the band, who I spend a lot of time with, so we saw each other often.”

“Had you and Mr. Sebastian ever discussed Ms. Hollis, or her employment, prior to the incidents in question?”

“Objection, hearsay.” Liz eyed the lawyer.

“Mr. Sebastian is here to corroborate, is he not?” His attitude was sharp.

“He’s not testifying right now, is he?”

The lawyer rolled his eyes, moving on to the next question.

“Had you ever had any indication that Mr. Sebastian and Ms. Hollis were involved, prior to the incident?”

“No.”

It was firm, and something in me smiled.

“So, he was a good liar?”

“Objection, argumentative. Come on, Drew.” Liz lectured the attorney.

He held up a hand.

“Okay. Let me move on.” He narrowed his eyes. “When were you first made aware of the night of the incident in Manhattan?”

Mileena kept her poker face even. “In San Diego.”

“That would’ve been May 26th, correct?”

“Yes.”

“And did Mr. Sebastian make you aware of that event?”

“Clarify?” She was so calm. With no preparation, even.

“Did he tell you he was with Ms. Hollis that night?”

“Objection.” Liz smirked. “Hearsay.”

Her and Mileena exchanged glances. She was baiting the attorney, and Liz knew it.

I was so turned on.

“How did you come to find out about the night in question?”

“I knew Noah was going to the club. I encouraged him to.”

“Were you aware Ms. Hollis would be there?”

“I assumed. She was a member of their staff.”

“And you had no problem with it?”

“No. As I mentioned, I had no reason to have a problem with it. Noah wasn’t interested.”

“You were sure of that?”

“Yes.”

My chest swelled with pride, but I hid my smile.

“Can you please, in your own words, walk me through the events in San Diego?”

“Which parts? The entire day?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I woke up. I usually pee first thing, but that day, I may have brushed my teeth first. It was about 7:30-“

“Ms. Richards, I’m asking about the events including Ms. Hollis and Mr. Sebastian.”

“Oh. You said the entire day.”

Liz and I both turned our heads, hiding our laughs. Rachel narrowed her eyes.

“Ms. Perry and I arrived at the hotel in San Diego about noon. We met with the group and greeted them. I hugged Ms. Hollis, even. Then. Mr. Sebastian and I went up to his room, where we engaged in about forty-five minutes of rigorous sex.”

I bit down on my fingers, stifling my laughter. Rachel glared at me.

“He then left for the venue to do sound check. I went to the venue for the concert at about 4:30PM with Laura, didn’t see Ms. Hollis at all. Then, after the show, Noah and I went back to his hotel room.”

She paused, her eyes glazing over slightly.

“And?” The attorney edged on.

“I took a shower, and Noah left to get snacks from the lobby. When I got out of the shower, I heard screaming from the hallway. I checked the peephole and saw Noah and Ms. Hollis engaged in some form of argument.”

“And what did that entail?”

“I can’t tell you that verbatim.” She sighed. “All I know is Ms. Hollis was upset with Noah, and I heard her claim that she had feelings for him. She left, and he came back in the room.”

“I see.” He was taking notes on his notepad. “And then you and Mr. Sebastian argued?”

Leena’s face fell, her eyes turning on the attorney, shooting daggers.

“With all due respect, Mr. Riley, but that’s not pertinent to this case.”

He pursed his lips. “No? You didn’t leave that night due to the argument between Mr. Sebastian and Ms. Hollis?”

I watched her intently, seeing the wave of emotions wash over her face. Sadness, pain, anger, and, eventually, exhaustion. She closed her eyes for a moment, but shot him, and then Rachel a warning glance.

“That, sir, is none of yours,” Her index finger pointed down the table to Rachel. “or her business.”

Mileena took a breath, and then stood from the table.

“Now, that is all I witnessed. I have nothing else to add.”

“We’re not done, Ms. Richards.” He motioned to Liz. “She still gets to cross-examine.”

Liz had a triumphant smile on her face, leaned back in her office chair.

“I’m good. I’ve got all I need.”

Mileena just nodded curtly, hooking her bag on her shoulder.

“I guess, then, thank you for your time Ms. Richards.” Mr. Riley stood from the table, an uneasy expression on his face, and held his hand out for Mileena. She shook it uncomfortably.

"I think that's all for the day, gentlemen." Liz stood with the rest of the group, gathering her notes. "Mr. Sebastian and Ms. Hollis' depositions are set for the 2nd of September. Are we still on board?"

Rachel's attorney stole a glance toward his client and his co-counsel, faces stern, before looking back at Liz. "I believe so, but we'll reach out if anything changes."

Liz bid them goodbye, and I noticed Mileena had already made her exit.

I slipped out of the room, noticing her and Laura already halfway out of the door to the building. I jogged after them, opening the door and the sun nearly blinding me.

"Wait up!" I called after them before they climbed into Laura's Altima.

Leena turned around, exchanging a look with Laura, who sat down into the driver's seat, and closed the door.

I was only about ten feet away, and Leena stepped forward, closing the gap until we were face to face.

"What's up?" I could still see the hurt on her features, and I felt all of my insides turn to marshmallow fluff, nearly bursting from my chest.

"That was," I took a long breath. "incredible."

Her lips upturned slightly as she tucked a stray piece of hair out of her face behind her ear.

"It was the truth."

"It was hilarious. You made that jackass earn his paycheck today."

She gave me a full smile now. "Thanks, Noah."

"Listen, I'm sorry I didn't call you back."

She shook her head, waving me off. "No, I get it. You need space, I respect that."

My eyes searched her face, but she was looking at her shoes, kicking at the asphalt. "I want to talk. Maybe we can make some time?"

Mileena peered up at me, and opened her mouth to speak, but we were interrupted.

"Hey!"

Both of our heads snapped to the right, seeing the red-blonde hair and bright green blouse stalking toward us, a look of fury on her face.

"What the fuck was that?!" Her question was targeted at me, which made me straighten and my face harden.

"What do you mean?"

She held her hand up, motioning between Leena and I. "You practiced that, right? Her testimony? That's acting in fucking concert. We can get her entire statement thrown out."

I scoffed, turning toward her. "You fucking asked for it, Rachel. Now you're mad it didn't go your way? Shocking."

I had my body in front of Mileena, shielding her.

"She can't fucking protect you, Noah. I don't know why she fucking would anyway." She smirked at us. "You two aren't even together anymore, I've heard."

I felt my throat tighten, the horrific things I wanted to say balling up in my windpipe.

Something was going to spill out, but before it could, Leena took a step in front of me, the scariest, most threatening smile painted on her face.

"Rachel?" The other woman glared at her, eyes full of fire. "We haven't had a chance to talk since all of this happened."

Rachel crossed her arms, looking amused. "No, we haven't."

"In fact, we haven't talked since before I knew how much of a psychotic bitch you were, so I should probably make a few things clear."

The redhead looked like she may explode, her face turning an unhealthy shade of maroon.

Leena's voice was crisp, each word falling off of her tongue so vividly clear.

"You don't know much about me, but you may already know that, like Noah, I'm a recovering alcoholic."

Rachel snorted. "So?"

"So, you clearly aren't aware of what I'm capable of."

"Capable of what? Drinking me under the table?" Rachel chuckled at her own joke, and I clenched my jaw.

But Mileena laughed with her, a sickening sweet sound.

"No, no, probably not anymore." She took a fraction of a step closer, and I imagined Rachel could feel her cool breath on her face. "But, I do, however have a bit of experience I bet you don't have."

Quirking an eyebrow, Rachel put all of her weight on one hip. "Like?"

"Like, I've been in bar fights, jail fights, hell, I even socked a girl in rehab once." She let her smile fall, her eyes becoming a new shade of black. "And that was over some drinks and a pack of smokes. Imagine what I would do to someone who threatens my family."

Mileena then stepped nose to nose with Rachel, who now had her eyes blown wide.

"Whether you like it or not, babydoll, that guy is my family. Together or not, he's mine. So, I sincerely recommend that you head back inside, and leave him alone." Leena stepped back, replacing her smile. "Before I knock your teeth down your fucking throat."

I could see the bravado fading on Rachel, but she was still stood, trying to remain confident.

"Is that a threat?"

Mileena turned back toward me, moving to walk to the car. She threw a glance over her shoulder.

"It's a guarantee."

[formsofcontinuity]

I cannot even express how excited I am to share this story I wrote for the 2023 Supercorp Big Bang (@supercorpbb) -- plus the absolutely stunning artwork created by @darbypea and @noctilia, both of which are linked from the story (I'll reblog them here shortly).

Special thanks to chimonantus_signifies for beta-ing, @sneezewizard for emotional support and encouragement, and @wolfsong02 for cheerleading.

The story is an Epic of Gilgamesh AU that I've been wanting to write for ages (if you don't know anything about Gilgamesh, it won't matter, but if you do, you might find some fun parallels).

Summary: What if Kara had crash landed on a far younger Earth, only to be mistaken for a goddess? And what if Lena were ruler of a great Sumerian city-state on that Earth, chafing at the bonds of sovereignty? An Epic of Gilgamesh AU.

Rating: M

A little teaser:

Kara was now openly staring at Lena, her eyes wide and sparkling. "And what of me?"

"What of you?"

"Am I your captive? Or am I your guest?"

Lena did not respond right away, time pulling on her ribcage with the weight of the question. She could not hold the woman here without using the stone. Lena's stomach twisted at the memory of Kara's pain, her face veined with green and her cries filled with agony. The young warrior was looking at her now, face belying no traces of suffering, expression cautiously hopeful.

"You are free to go, if you wish." Lena gestured gracefully at her curtained door, her tone formal and serious. "I will not hold you here provided you neither threaten me nor Uruk again. However," she softened her gaze, willing Kara to recognize her sincerity, "perhaps you would like to stay for a few days at least, and I can show how my city prospers? We have many wonders here."

Something about the warrior's demeanor eased and then she smiled, an expression that transformed her face into the visage of someone much younger. "You are not what I expected," Kara admitted. "I apologize for my assumptions and my impunity, invading your city as if I had a right to it."

"You are not what I expected, either." Lena returned the warrior's smile, finding it came to her more easily than it had since she was a girl. "You are unlike any goddess I have ever met."

Kara laughed sharply, a pleased sound. "Have you met many goddesses?"

"None save you." Lena began to reach out, seeking further contact with the other woman, before restraining herself and allowing her hand to fall to her side. She twisted her fingers in the tufts of wool decorating her skirt. "And yet somehow," she continued, backing towards the door, "You continue to surprise me in our brief acquaintance."

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

While drawing the Manager after MotR and comparing to my earlier pre-MotR attempts, I thought maybe I can also try to combine the canon version with what-have-been-in-my-head-for-years-of-text-descriptions – different eye colour (dark or brassy), a bit older, not as spotlessly smooth-faced...

Then I wondered if I’m too influenced by "Mesopotamian = beard" stereotype (in fact there are plenty of beardless kings in Sumerian and Akkadian art, such as Gudea or Ibbi-Sin, off the top of my head). Hmm, I thought, actually I can imagine him shaving while whistling nursery rhymes and casually ignoring that the mirror can’t properly reflect him without bleeding nightmares...

Then I remembered that in cultures where beards have significance, shaving it off is also usually a sign of mourning, self-shame or grief. And in MotR a whole city was destroyed just a few months ago, and a new one fell similarly catastrophically:

...so at that time May does have a reason to be in mourning (at least formally/ritualistically, if he wasn’t close to those he knew in the Fourth City). Even more, he might have been grieving since the First City, judging by how he always speaks of his story with no ability to let go.

Oh well. 5 years in Fallen London, and I still can’t think about him without this risk of unscheduled emotions. Even over visual design, forgodssake. (Though these cheekbones ARE heart-wrenchingly gorgeous, by the way.)