#talk about his hardship adjusting in the wizarding world

[could-have-beens]

If By Happenstance

Because you could have loved me forever. And maybe in another universe, I let you.

One of the unfinished WIPs I unearthed recently is what was supposed to be a collection of standalone one-shot AUs, each with a different theme and centered around Tom and Ginny. I never got around to writing the whole series, but I did finish some of it, so I thought I would post it while editing TLoCC.

Fair warning, I haven’t proofread this in two years. Enjoy at your own risk!

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"Coward," hissed Ginny. "I can't believe you! After all that talk about being polite and honouring your promises —"

"I stand by what I said," said Harry, with an unrepentant grin.

She glowered. "You're hiding."

"I'm not. You just happen to be in a room full of adoring fans."

Ginny rolled her eyes. She thought her days of humouring Slughorn and attending his get-togethers were over after graduation, but he hadn't stopped badgering her since she started playing for the Harpies. If she had known she was going to be accosted by wide-eyed teenagers and stammering old men, she wouldn't have bothered coming to the party at all.

"You should be the one being pestered by Slughorn," Ginny groused. She plopped herself down gracelessly on the empty chair next to Harry. "I'm just the plus one. You're the one with the bloody invitation."

Harry shrugged, but his eyes were dancing. "I guess Quidditch stars have more clout than us lowly, underpaid Aurors."

"What about the Minister's son?" she teased.

He grimaced, casting a shifty, alarmed look around the room to check if anyone had heard her. "Don't even go there. I'm not supposed to get into fights with old men over politics."

"You could not fight and turn the other cheek," suggested Ginny.

Harry snorted. "I'll do it when you do."

"Well, I don't think Slughorn's noticed you yet, so you're safe for the time being."

"As long as he keeps fawning over Riddle, I'm good."

"Who?"

"My boss." Harry leaned back and discreetly inclined his head toward the center of the room. "The pretty boy with dark hair."

Ginny followed his line of sight and found the man in question, and thought pretty was a massive understatement. Riddle was caught in what looked like a heated discussion with a flustered-looking Slughorn, a stout, bespectacled man, and a tall, stern-looking woman — politicians, the same people Harry had been avoiding since he and Ginny arrived. They were too far for Ginny to hear what they were saying, but she could see that the older man and woman were red with anger, talking a mile a minute, and Slughorn was trying to placate them, only to be cut off at every turn. Riddle, though, looked relaxed and even faintly amused, and he carried himself with all the grace and arrogance of a typical Slytherin. He didn't seem to falter as he spoke, calm and composed even as the man and woman grew more and more irate and Slughorn grew increasingly bemused.

"That's the Head Auror?" said Ginny, incredulous. Riddle couldn't be that much older than her, maybe around Percy's age at most. "He's a bit young, isn't he?"

"No, not the Head Auror," muttered Harry. "Head of the Department."

Her eyes widened. No wonder Slughorn wouldn't leave the guy's side.

She tried to remember if Percy had ever mentioned him. The way her brother rambled on about his job at the Ministry, she didn't doubt that he knew — or, at least, knew of — the other man, being so close in age and a Department Head himself. It wasn't exactly common, having such a high-ranking job in the Ministry at their age.

"I think I've seen him before," mused Ginny. "What did you say his name was?"

"Tom Riddle," said Harry, in a tone that reminded her of how he used to say Malfoy when they were kids — not quite sneering, but heavy with exasperation.

"Tom Riddle? The guy the Prophet keeps calling the next Minister of Magic?"

"That's the one," he grumbled. "The next Minister . . . my mum just got elected and they're already calling him the next Minister. . . ."

"Well, he is cute," she said offhandedly. "Bet that's why. You don't get a lot of handsome men in politics."

Harry stared, brows pulled together as he frowned.

"What?" Ginny raised her hands in mock defense. "I'm just saying. I do have eyes."

"He's a bit of a prat though."

"Is he? I think he seems nice."

His eyes narrowed. "Seems nice or looks nice?"

She nudged his leg with her foot. "They don't have to be mutually exclusive."

"You don't work with the guy."

"Why? What's wrong with him?"

"Well," he said, considering the matter. "He just always seems — I don't know, a bit fake, I guess? Maybe that's just me."

Ginny tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Wasn't he Head Boy? The one before — no, after Percy."

"I think so. Can't say I remember much of him from Hogwarts."

She scoffed. "I don't think you remember much of anything that doesn't involve Ron and Hermione."

"Hey, I remember plenty," Harry protested.

"Like what?"

As if on cue, a Celestina Warbeck song started playing, and there were excited murmurs and sudden exclamations as the guests recognized the music.

"Like how much you love this song," said Harry cheekily. He held out his hand. "Dance with me?"

"Of course," Ginny said, putting her hand in his.

They stood and, without caring whether anyone else was dancing or not, they swayed along to the music slowly, careful to stay along the edges of the dance floor. When the song was over, they returned to their table, off in a nice secluded corner of Slughorn's party. Unfortunately, no more than a minute after, Ginny was swept up into a dance by another guest, and for the next hour, she was approached for pictures, autographs, and more dancing.

To Harry's credit, he didn't leave their table and kept her company throughout it all. Of course, he found the whole thing amusing, and took every chance he got to rib her mercilessly.

"Oh, the price of being famous," said Harry, snickering.

Ginny threw him a withering glare. She was just able to tell him to bugger off before she heard another set of footsteps approaching. Stamping on a smile, she turned around to greet the fan, but was stunned to find herself facing Tom Riddle instead.

At once, Harry straightened. "Good evening, sir."

"Potter," Riddle said, smiling amiably. "Shouldn't you be enjoying the party?"

"I'm enjoying it just fine, sir," said Harry glancing at Ginny for a beat too long. Harry turned back to Riddle, as if suddenly remembering he was there. "Er — Gin, this is Tom Riddle, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Sir, this is —"

"Ginny Weasley," Riddle cut in smoothly, extending his hand. "Pleasure to meet you."

Ginny blinked, a bit thrown by the sudden weight of his attention, and shook his hand.

"What gave it away?" she said with a wry smile.

Riddle gestured to her hair, chuckling lightly. "You must get that a lot."

"Unfortunately, yeah."

The first notes of the next song began to play, and Ginny realized that Riddle was still holding her hand.

"Would you care to dance?" said Riddle. His dark eyes seemed to glitter in the light.

Ginny cast a questioning look at Harry, who had a pinched expression on his face. For a moment, it looked like he was going to say no, but then he gave a little shrug, his mouth set in a grim line.

"If you want, Gin," he said tightly.

"All right," she said, hesitant, and suddenly Riddle was leading her to the dance floor.

A kind of ripple crossed the room as a few heads turned in their direction, but whether it was because they were looking at Ginny or at Riddle, she wasn't sure. There were more couples dancing now, blocking her view of Harry, and though she tried to look for him, her eyes were drawn to her dancing partner.

Riddle really was quite beautiful up close. Dark hair artfully coiffed, high cheekbones and a strong jaw, lips curled in a crooked smile. It almost hurt to look at him — it was like looking at the sun bouncing off snow.

And yet Ginny found that she couldn't turn away. There was something about his eyes, dark and intense, that seemed almost challenging, as though he was daring her to look away, as though waiting to see if she would bristle under the intensity of his gaze.

His eyes never left hers, even as he bowed low and lifted her hand to his lips.

"A bit forward, isn't it?" said Ginny, raising an eyebrow.

His smile didn't falter. "Is it? I thought it would be romantic."

She snorted. "Romance already? You barely know me."

"But I would like to," he said, lowering his gaze to the floor. "I admit, I've heard all about you, Miss Weasley."

Riddle couldn't quite meet her eyes, and if it had been anyone else, Ginny would have thought he was nervous.

Being coy more like, she thought, as Harry's words rose unbidden. Even if he was shy — but no, he didn't seem the type, and there was something . . . Ginny didn't know what it was, but something about him seemed off. Maybe not fake, like Harry had said, but Riddle had that indefinable air of someone wearing a facade.

Ginny would know — she too had worn her fair share. Or maybe it was just the politician in Riddle shining through, underneath all the charisma and pretty smiles.

He was a good dancer, if nothing else. He was all grace as they glided across the room, his movements effortless and elegant.

"Have you?" she said dully. "Big Quidditch fan, then?"

"Can't stand it, actually. No offense."

She couldn't help but laugh at that. "Points for honesty. Why are you dancing with me then?"

Riddle arched an eyebrow. "Do I need a reason?"

"Generally, yeah. Otherwise I'm gonna think you're out to get me or something. Haven't ruled that out yet, mind you."

He chuckled. "I think I've already told you why."

She grimaced. "Yes . . . romance."

"Is there something wrong with that?"

Well. 

There wasn't. Not really. It wasn't like Ginny was seeing anyone, but . . .

She thought of Harry, who had cajoled her into coming to this bloody party, with his too messy hair and his kind eyes. The thought of coming tonight hadn't even crossed her mind until he asked her, and a little part of her had always thought —

Ginny shook her head. No sense in thinking about what-ifs and could-have-beens.

"You said you've heard of me," she said coolly. "Should I be worried?"

"You probably don't remember," said Riddle, "but we were in Horace's club at the same time, back in school."

"Were we?" It was possible. Riddle seemed old enough that they must have been in Hogwarts together at some point, though Ginny would have been too young to attend Slughorn's parties then.

Riddle nodded. "Horace kept inviting me back after I graduated, and I couldn't turn down the chance to see Hogwarts again." He smiled, and again she was taken aback by how unfairly charming he was. "He talked about you a great deal, but we were never formally introduced."

"What a loss for you," said Ginny.

Riddle met her gaze daringly. "I agree."

[prismarts]

I am so. 100% sure I've asked this before, but I can't seem to find the ask so I apparently didn't??? Sooo, why is Illy perfect for Douxie? What is she like as a person? Why her and not Zoe? :) What makes Illy amazing and different in your eyes? Our favorite boi deserves someone very special, so I'd love to know what you imagined :)

I don't know if...Illy's perfect for Douxie? Like, I really don't know about that. I just enjoy their dynamic a lot xD

I think from the beginning, I always just saw Douxie and Zoe's dynamic as childhood friends that went through a lot together, maybe they've had feelings for each other before but ultimately they just have a really strong platonic affection for each other.

As for Illy, well, when I first made her it was to give Moppet!Douxie, a friend. Like a spellcaster, his age, that he can not only befriend but who could also just support and believe in him when things are particularly tough on the moppet. I always saw their initial relationship as two people with different experiences in magic, different ways of seeing the craft and somewhat alone in someway, coming together and becoming really close friends.

I'm not saying, I don't like Zouxie's dynamic, it's really interesting and even I enjoy the fanart and fanfics with them together, I suppose, I just always saw them as platonic since I saw the show.

I always saw Illy as someone who is really giving, affectionately. A little shy and reserved at first, but comes out of her shell when she first meets Douxie and Archie. She's someone that has a lot of love to give and maybe is even a bit too naive or curious of the world around her.

What I imagine their relationship to be after Wizards in like that time before ROTT, is Douxie, guiding and helping her adjust to the mortal realm after being essentially isolated for 900 years, introducing her to the gang, helping her settle, teaching her things and even helping her open up more socially. Even is there for her when she gets to learn more about her birth family.

While Illy, is there to help him through all the grief he feels over Merlin. While she has her own baggage with him and other things, she is always supportive of him. She's a warm memory of Camelot, of warm meat pies and days of just messing around while not having any lessons with Merlin or Morgana.

In a way, Douxie helps her form new memories, a new life and in a new home while Illy helps him hold onto the nice memories, the warm and happy times they had in the past, pushing him to move forward more.

I just like to think they care so much for each other, as friends and lovers and it's always so comforting to think about them BEING there for each other.

A curious part nymph wizard who is new to mortal life and a Master Wizard who's been through the hardships, the wars, the history of the mortal realm, both good and bad. Showing each other a new light.

At least, that's for me? I just find so much comfort in what they would mean for each other and how they can learn from each other too. Despite their shared stubborness and things like Illy's insecurity, they do have their troubles, times where they are both too stubborn and argue, so I don't think they are a perfect couple, I love exploring their dynamic and how much they care for each other.

Though, I do understand, they aren't for everyone as a ship, at all. I still love Zouxie as a ship but again, for me, a platonic one.

I hope this helps you understand them better, I missed talking about them and I just adore them. Thank you so much for asking bab, it means so much. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[violet-knox]

Summer Holidays

Year 5 - Chapter 26

Summary: Feeling the urge to see you, Severus asks to meet up with you over the summer holidays. You agree and make plans to open your O.W.Ls together when they arrive. 

Word count: 3339

Previous Chapter - Chapter 1

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Severus woke up the morning after arriving back at Spinner’s End, and for the first time, found his mind venturing from the thought of seeing Lily. It was over between them, he’d ruined their friendship so far beyond repair, even a secluded hermit could see it. But it was more than just that. It wasn’t just the fact that Lily no longer wanted him in her life, there was something else occupying his thoughts, washing over his longing for the red-head he’d grown so fond of.

Turning over on his side, staring blankly at the door separating him from the rest of the house that would soon be filled with nothing but wasted words between a calamitous husband and vain wife, he thought back to the person he, until very recently, neglected to appreciate the company of. He wondered if you’d felt how divided his attention was when he’d study or talk with you, his mind constantly roaming back to the fantasy he’d created in his mind. One that had Lily viewing Severus in a much different light, a light he knew he was capable of stepping into if he’d only been able to find the courage he needed to tell her how he felt when they first met.

But it was different now. He no longer retreated to this alternate timeline with Lily on his arm because he didn’t feel the need to. Because he had someone in his life he could truly have a future with if he just managed to dig up that part of him he knew anyone would be proud to have by his side. He had a second chance to find the love he so desperately craved.

With a husky breath, he shot out of his bed and pulled out the old wooden chair tucked into the sad excuse of a board he was forced to call a desk. He took out a quill and paper from his Hogwarts trunk and wrote a letter to you, asking if you would be willing to meet him in two weeks at a park nearby. Now all he had to do was wait till his mother woke to ask for a few knuts to rent an owl.

(Y/N),

Since school’s over, I know there’s no reason for us to meet, but I was wondering if you’d perhaps like to meet over the summer and go on one of our infamous walks? I thought we could meet near the park at the base of the river and make our way downstream.

Severus

  Sev,

I’d love nothing more than to explore the town with you. To be quite frank, it’s been quite dull the last few days, so I should thank you for sending me this letter and sparing me the torment of a boring summer. How’s next Thursday looking for you?

(Y/N)

  (Y/N),

Glad I could help relieve you the pain of a less than magical summer. I bet your probably squirming in your room trying not to jump on your broom and fly a few thousand feet for all the muggles to see.

Thursday sounds good, I’ll meet you half passed noon near the oak tree at the edge of the park.

Sev

  “Severus!” you exclaimed, beginning to sprint towards him as he approached. He almost lost his balance as you nearly jumped on him, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck. “Sorry,” you said, blushing as you pulled yourself off him. You didn’t mean to be so forward, but it had been so hard to suppress the longing you’d felt since you’d parted ways in London. As you pushed yourself back, hands on his shoulder, you looked up at him and to your surprise found a small smile on his face. There it was again, that need to see what you wanted. To see him want you as you did him.

“How’ve you been?” he asked politely. 

“Bored. I was practically counting down the hours till I could see you.” You nervously tucked your hair behind your ear as you took a step back, alternating your gaze from his eyes to the ground.

Severus scoffed. Though unsurprised by your inability to entertain yourself without magic, he was a bit taken back by your enthusiasm to see him. Surely there were more compelling things you could do than to be around him. Was it possible she felt the same way he did? Severus was never one for reading others. It was one of the things that held him back from asking out Lily, afraid he’d ruin their friendship if she didn’t feel the same way. So much for that.

He wanted it to be different this time, to step out of his comfort zone and pursue whatever this was between you tow. But the fear of rejection still trickled its way through his mind like a snake stalking its next victim. He had to be sure you felt the same way, otherwise he could lose you like he has Lily.

 “So, care for a walk?” he asked as he held out a hand for you. You looked down, stunned at his gesture, but eagerly accepted, placing your hand in his and walked with him side by side. His heart skipped a beat as he felt you squeeze his hand tightly, feeling hopeful that you, in fact, do return his ever-growing feelings for you. 

You spent the rest of the day together talking and laughing, enjoying each other’s company for the first time outside of Hogwarts. As you made your way downstream of the river, you just couldn’t help but notice that he couldn’t stop glancing at you, stealing gazes. But the look in his eye was really what had caught your attention. The way he looked at you had changed, and you’d only ever seen him look at someone like that once before; at Slughorn’s party back in fourth year when he spent the night with Lily. Could he finally be returning your feelings? Could he finally be falling in love with you as he did Lilly?

Felling a bit courageous, you decided to flirt a little, just to test the waters. What could it hurt to throw a few glances back? Some light touches here and there perhaps? Prinking your fingers against his palm, you slowly went to intertwine your fingers with his, smiling when you felt him grip you tighter.

He looked down at you as you smiled and kept your eyes looking down to the ground. Plummeting right through your comfort zone, you leaned into him and placed your free hand over his arm, squeezing his bicep just enough to get his heart racing.

“Can we do this again sometime?” he asked as you watched the sun set, disappearing behind the houses lining Spinner’s End. You let your legs stretch down the length of the hill as you leaned back, your hands placed firmly on the ground, holding you up.  

“How about we met every week?” you asked vigorously, immediately regretting it as you watched his gaze drop and his smile fad. 

“I-I can’t. My father would… disapprove.” The wind carried his soft voice, acting as a messenger. His tone had gone so low, you could barely hear him. 

“Is he,” you folded your legs and turned your body to face him, “still hurting you Severus?” You couldn’t stand seeing him so hurt, so discontent. It was bad enough what he’d been going through at Hogwarts, but to be beaten, neglected, anchored down by your own parent’s, you could only imagine the hardship he felt. Placing a hand on his shoulder as your thumb began rubbing southing circles. If the rest of the world was going to treat him as though he was a mere crumb on this great plant, you’d be sure to show him otherwise. You’d be there by his side to show him what a talent, deserving young wizard he is.

“I’m fine,” he hated talking about his father, something he’d always shy away from doing when the topic came about, and as he changed the subject, you could see that today was no exception. “How about we meet again on July 29th? We should have our O.W.Ls by then as well. We can open them together if you like.”

“I’d love that,” you whispered before slipping your hand down, wrapping your arm around his own and gently pressing your lips to his shoulder. 

  Your O.W.Ls arrived two days before your anticipated meeting with Severus and it took all your willpower not to tear it open. In all honesty, the only thing keeping you from removing that green wax seal was the thought of how special it would be to open it with him for the first time together. Nevertheless, it was still difficult to keep your hands off the thick letter sitting on your bedside table, haunting you every night when you went to bed and every morning when you rose.

Tracing the Hogwarts crest one last time, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath as you tossed it on your bed and swapped it for the light emerald green summer dress you’d picked out that morning. Finally, the day had arrived. The day you’d see your raven-hair friend once more and find out how well (or how terribly) you’d done on your final exams.

Throwing on your favorite pair of flats, you quickly grabbed the letter holding your fate and sprinted down the stairs, making your way to the bus stop.

Paying your share for a ticket, you quickly found a set and watched as the scenery before you shifted, the bus gaining speed as it turned onto the main road. Muggle transport had suddenly felt agonizing slow to you ever since your first trip to Hogwarts. And when you first flew a broom, feeling the wind rushing through your hair as you gained speed, you suddenly felt a great deal of pity for those who couldn’t experience the thrill you knew you couldn’t go another day without. Adjusting to summers in the muggle world after your first year was beyond daunting. In fact, your first summer back, you’d spent a great deal of the first month locked up in your room, feeling quite homesick, a feeling you never thought you’d feel.

Finally, the bus stopped by your destination and you eagerly hoped off, quickly making your way up the hill to the old park behind the abandoned primary school. You were early so you sat on the swing and waited for him so show up. 

You were young when this school closed down, the first school you’d ever attended, holding memories of negligent teachers, chatting amongst themselves while the children came up with various games using whatever hazardous tools they called toys. ‘Exercising the creative mind’ is what they would say whenever asked about the lack of supplies in the classroom. You supposed their budget was part of the reason they were shut down. Now that you were older, you understood these things a lot better as your teachers all tried to convince you the school was shutting down because you were to attend a better school.

It wasn’t a complete lie. The school you were transferred to was much bigger and therefore had a larger budget. It was now the only school still standing in this region of the town, though judging by how its residence seemed to have decreased over the past few years, it didn’t really surprise you.

The south corner of Cokeworth was never a place anyone dreamed of living. Those who owned a home here either found themselves born to poverty or were driven down, forced to downscale and buy something cheaper just for the sake of staying afloat in this economy. Come to think of it actually, the south only housed two schools throughout your time here, so could it be that Severus attended school with you before Hogwarts?    

“Need a push?” you gasped as you heard Severus speak right behind you. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

You giggled, realizing how lost in your thoughts you’d become waiting for him. “No, I just didn’t hear you approach,” you got up from your spot and gave him a hug. Severus wrapped his arms around you tightly and buried his face in your hair as he closed his eyes. He had really missed you these last few weeks and hoped that summer would end soon so that he’d be able to see you every day. Just another reason he absolutely hated summers.  

“Shall we?” you asked as you pushed yourself away and stretched out your hand to him to which he gladly accepted. You walked a while, heading to a clearing you’d found last time and sat down on the grass. You placed the letter that had been clenched tightly in your hand on your lap and looked up at him in excitement.  

“Ready?” you asked eagerly. The hype to open this letter had built inside you for far too long and you were more than keen to gaze upon your exam results. But when you saw the letter he pulled out of his pocket, your smiled faded and all prior elation immediately slipped way. “Severus,” you whispered, “what happened?” The once crisp letter he held in his hands now had burns all over and was torn open. Most of the wax seal had been removed and the rest had melted, spreading onto the envelope

“My mum got excited and wanted to see my results but when my dad saw the letter, he grabbed it and threw it in the fire. My mom was quick to save it and did her best to mend what she’d retrieved…” costing her a few second hand burns she still hasn’t healed from, he thought. He wanted to tell you everything, he wanted to open up. But this moment with you was supposed to be a pleasant one and bringing up his father was a sure way to ruin that. He sighed as he traced the holes in the letter and your heart sank at the thought of his father being so cruel to him. You could only imagine what Severus hadn’t told you, what he spared you from hearing. 

“I haven’t read it though,” Severus added when he saw the somber look on your face. “My mum opened it to see my results and told me the fire didn’t damage the contents of the letter.”

You smiled at him, thinking about how he had refrained from looking, even after everything the letter had been through, all because of your plans to open them together. “Let’s swap first,” you said eagerly as you grabbed his letter and handed him your own. 

His eyes widened at you in surprise. “Are you sure you don’t want to open it yourself?” he asked, tracing the perfect looking wax seal on your envelope.

You nodded your head. “I want you to open it,” you replied confidently. You’d waited so long to open that seal, but seeing his eyes sparkle and his lips twitch in happiness as he gazed over your untouched letter made it worth giving up the satisfaction of opening it yourself. He deserved to open his O.W.Ls results after working so hard, but thanks to his father, he’d been deprived of that and though you couldn’t reverse time or mend his letter, you could at least try and cheer him up, letting him tear open yours.

You watched as he broke the wax seal and pull out the letter before you carefully removed his letter from what was left of the envelope. You both unfolded each other’s results and slowly made your way down the list. 

“Oh Sev!” you were the first to react as you lunged at him, wrapping your arms around his neck, quickly hugging him as a congratulations. “I’m so proud of you!”

“You did so well,” he smiled back at you before you swapped letters to look at your own grades. 

Your reports were practically identical. The only difference was that you had received an E in Potions with Severus receiving an O, and you had failed in receiving an O.W.L in Arithmancy, but that didn’t matter to you as you had been focused on Quidditch on top of your studies. Sacrificing such an elective didn’t bother you all that much. The only thing that mattered to you now was that you would be able to take all your N.E.W.Ts with Severus, meaning you would get to spend more time together, while keeping your career options open. It was the best result you could have possibly asked for, and you were just so happy to see Severus excel in so many of his subjects. You knew he had quite an intricately brilliant mind, but seeing it on paper, was just all more impressive.

Severus was just as delighted as you when he saw your reports, thankful you had managed to achieve a high enough score to continue your studies with him. It didn’t come as a surprise to him you’d managed to snag such high results in all your core subjects with all the insane amount of studying you’d done. Still it was a shame you wouldn’t be able to continue Arithmancy with him. It wasn’t an important subject of course, he knew neither of you would really need it for whatever careers you’d end up perusing, but it would have been nice to have identical schedules, spending as much time as you could together.

Perhaps dropping the elective himself would do him well. Maybe you’d find more time to spend together outside of class if you both had lighter workloads. Then again, you’d be playing Quiddtch next term and judging by how the last season had gone, there was no doubt in his mind you’d make captain. Severus was never one for those extra curriculars other students were so eager to join, especially those involving brooms, but seeing as how he only had two years left at Hogwarts, perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to consider taking up a hobby that didn’t involve spending countless hours hunched over a book in the dark corners of the library.  

“Can I see you again this summer?” you asked, making your way back towards the main road. 

“I really want to see you, but I don’t think I can.” Severus kept his gaze to the ground, dragging his feet, thinking back to the seemingly endless argument between his parents that had broken out a couple weeks ago. An argument that led to another, and another and another. A never-ending cycle, one that he’d caused all because he’d objected to working at the factory over the summer with his father. All because he wanted to see more of you.

“That’s okay,” you said quickly, seeing him retried back into his thoughts. He’d only get that look when something was troubling him, and you were not about to let your words, your urge to see more of him, bring him to a place you knew was too dark for anyone to exist. You hugged him one last time, as you saw your bus turn the corner, holding onto him a little longer for good measure and as you pulled away, you felt his hands rest gently on your hips, lightly squeezing before he took a step back, cheeks rosy and jet black hair streaming across his face.

“I’ll see you on the train,” you said as the doors opened and you turned your back to step inside.   

Severus smile, giving a small wave before the doors closed, your figure disappearing complete.  He watched as the bus drove away and only began walking home when it was completely out of sight. He hadn’t felt his chest heat with such warmth in so long, but it was a feeling he’d gladly welcome back. One he knew he’d found once again all thanks to you.

It would be different this time. He’d be better. He’d do better. For you… For love.

~

Next Chapter

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[maraudersmessrs]

Remus Lupin and the Prisoner of Azkaban--- Chapter 10: Adjustment Period

Ao3 link

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 / Chapter 12 / Chapter 13 / Chapter 14 / Chapter 15 / Chapter 16 / Chapter 17 / Chapter 18 / Chapter 19 / Chapter 20 / Chapter 21 / Chapter 22 / Chapter 23 / Chapter 24 / Chapter 25 / Chapter 26 / Chapter 27 / Chapter 28 / Chapter 29 / Chapter 30 / Chapter 31 / Chapter 32 / Chapter 33 / Chapter 34

Fully sated after the opening feast--truly, more full than he had been in probably years-- Remus managed to stroll accurately enough to get him to the right wing and floor for the staffroom. He had never, however, had occasion to actually find where it exactly was; unlike Prongs, who had apparently had quite the prank planned for 5th year in there that had been thwarted by McGonagall. There was a pause on his easy stride when he realized exactly how seamlessly the nickname had fit back into his thoughts. He gazed around the vast stone hall and smiled, a little sadly. It made it easy, this place, to recall what he had had here.

Someone was watching him. The uneasy prickle on the back of his neck would usually have put him on the defensive in the Muggle world, but his internal danger barometer was as low as it had ever been. Probably even less so than when he was a student, as he wasn't angling to pull some disruptive caper, now. He glanced around, casually, expecting some ghost or a portrait and locked eyes with a livid looking Severus Snape, standing at the head of the staircase behind Remus.

“Severus--” was startled out of him, but before he could even form a coherent thought, the man strode toward him and whipped out his wand. Remus’ own hand spasmed toward his own in shock, but he stopped himself with an effort. He kept his hands empty at his side.

“I don't know what you're playing at, mutt, but I'm the one who is going to be making your monthly potions. If you so much as wander down the wrong corridor I might make an unfortunate mistake,��� Snape hissed through his teeth, not brandishing the wand but holding it hard at his side, as if he expected Remus to start hexing him.

He blinked, utterly bewildered. “Nice to see you too, Severus, hope you had a nice summer…”

Snape's pale face twisted further into a snarl. “You--”

Remus held up a placating hand, chastising himself for antagonizing him. Bad habits… “I apologize, but, honestly, Severus, I don't have any idea what you could be talking about. What potion? And what exactly would I be trying?” He tried to keep anything that could be construed as mocking out of his tone. Snape seemed to be in some kind of towering paranoia that Remus just could not parse.

Remus had never liked the man, even if he had felt sympathy and guilt toward the things James and Sirius had done to him. He hadn't deserved to be mistreated, but he had run with the crowd who had all developed into Death Eaters; those that favored pure blood and societal cleansing. Remus being who and what he was, they would never see eye to eye, but he trusted Dumbledore enough that he believed Snape to no longer be a Dark Wizard. He had no desire to be openly hostile toward him.

Snape scoffed and studied him a moment. His aggressiveness seemed to be melting into merely intense suspicion. “I know about you and I know about Black and I know about your “condition.” I have made it clear to Dumbledore that you cannot be trusted and while he seems to think he can let you back in the castle, I am unconvinced. You’ve already shown yourself to be lacking in moral fiber. You’re a danger to everyone in this castle. Which is why Dumbledore is practicing charity and having me make you the Wolfsbane Potion; it’s not as if you could afford it otherwise,” he added, nastily.

Remus’ mind was whirling at the train of thought that Snape was dragging him through, trying to find his footing and trying to find his proper reaction. The accusations stung a bit, though not as much as they would from someone whose opinions he actually cared about, and he wondered at what tact he ought to take. Responsible, he sighed inwardly, undoubtedly. “Well...I can assure you I would never help a criminal harm children. If you know me and you know Si--Black, then you know how much he has also taken from me and...I would hope...you would leave room to grow as a person. Given your own story.” As Snape’s nostrils flared, he moved on. “And I wasn’t told I would be able to utilize the Wolfsbane Potion that’s…” he was honestly boggled at the thought. He had heard vague rumors of something like that being developed, as disconnected from the Wizarding world as he was, but never had ever entertained the thought of what it would be like, for he would never have the resources to try it. “Amazing, frankly. Thank you, Severus. I really...I really do regret how things were when we were at school. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want your apologies. You and your opinion mean nothing to me--” Well, at least we’re on the same page, the irritated James-voice quipped. “And nothing you could say would ever make up for the fact that you don’t belong here and you never did. Monsters don’t belong at Hogwarts. Keep your regrets,” he sneered, “The only reason I’m tolerating you is because Dumbledore is on your side. For now.”

“No wonder my ears are burning, I’m being discussed,” came a pleasant voice from behind Severus, who turned whirled as Dumbledore serenely crested the stairs. “Is there a problem, gentlemen?”

“None.” Snape glanced disdainfully at Remus. “Sir.” He swept away, down the corridor.

The 2 of them watched him go, silently, until he was out of sight. “Everything alright, Remus?”

He took a breath. “Not an official complaint, mind, but I do believe he doesn’t like me.”

The joke surprised a chortle out of the Headmaster. “It may have been mentioned.”

“We treated him like crap.”

Dumbledore stayed thoughtfully silent.

“I had hoped that maybe we could be adults about this. I wanted to apologize.”

Dumbledore sighed. “People use their experiences in different ways; some to learn, some to strengthen. Some to embitter and hold their wounds close to fester. Severus never seemed one too keen on personal introspection, and I rather think he likes being the victim in his story.”

“But he was. At school.”

He gave Remus a knowing look out of the corner of his eye as they still faced down the corridor Snape had gone down. “I do recall that he often gave back just as good as he got. And...childhood is difficult. The teenage years particularly, I have found, as we seem to have a never ending supply of case studies in our halls every year. It is the choice of those who are hurt how they will try to heal and in my estimation, Severus has not chosen to grow past this hurt, but rather grow around it and within it. It can be easier than trying to recognize your own shortcomings. Ah, but enough gossip!” He clapped his hands together and beamed, looking Remus up and down. “Staff meeting!”

Remus devoured this experience eagerly, being the first teacherly meeting he’d partaken in. They talked about the incident on the train and when he began to bring up his offended opinions, the look on Dumbledore’s face cut him short; he knew. He agreed. He would make himself heard to those who needed to hear it. Remus was satisfied.

They shared about their summers and milestones, joys, and hardships they had come across since they had last been together. Snape stayed silent, arms and ankles crossed, shooting dark looks at Remus, which seemed to be standard as no one tried to engage him further. Hagrid  and Professor Flitwick were quite chatty and he met a few other Professors he hadn’t had much contact with as a student. McGonagall, Sprout, Sinestra, Pomfrey. most all of them welcomed him warmly into the fold, with only a few embarrassing ‘I remember when you…’ stories. Filch was taking a leaf from Snape’s book and lurked cantankerously near the door, eying him suspiciously as if he were about to pull out a dungbomb and set it off right then. Remus tried to give him a reassuring smile, but the man just said, “Pah!”

As they concluded the meeting, McGonagall and Dumbledore rose to speak to him, both regarding him gravely. “I was extremely perturbed to hear that you were evicted, Lupin,” McGonagall said reprovingly.

He had no idea what to say to that. Sorry? “Er…”

“Remus, you could have asked to stay--” Dumbledore began and then stopped himself, shook his head. “You’re allowed to ask for help, my boy. You could have stayed here, if you were having these problems.”

Remus just looked at him blankly. It had never even occurred to him to reach out; never occurred to him that anyone would care at all where he had stayed. And Dumbledore seemed to realize this. “Here, come,” he said warmly, and held out a long, shepherding hand. “Let me show you to your rooms.”

Rooms. Plural.

As they walked, Remus’ ears heated when his heart plucked at the thing he so wanted to say, but almost feared looking at it directly. Lest it disappear. “I--I wanted to thank you, Professor. Snape told me about the Wolfsbane Potion and...frankly, I’m so honored that you would let me have this opportunity. You don’t know what this means to me.”

The bright blue eyes that turned on him were kind. “No, I don’t think I ever could, fully. Which is why I wanted to do this. Just do your best, Remus. That’s all anyone can ever ask.”

“Done, sir.”

[xxbyimm]

Enya’s Unexpected Journey - Chapter 8

For all other chapters, click the number: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Chapter 8

Summary:  Enya tries to be a perfect lady and learns a great deal about her kin. They run into Radagast the Brown. Who knew bunnies were so cute?

Another day in the wild. Enya woke up in a particular grumpy mood and could not determine why. Her abdomen was upset and she felt a tantrum brewing inside her, one of which the likes this company had not seen yet. There were valid reasons enough for that, she smirked. But her whole body felt bloated and her stomach hurted. What was wrong with her?

Oh no. A daunting thought appeared in her mind and hit her like a lightning bolt. 'Of course, you idiot!' She muttered. There was that little problem with her birth control pill, which laid neatly on her night stand. At home. Where she could not reach it. Enya sighed. This was perfect. Her body decided that it was time to set loose all the hormones her pill had controled for years. Enya watched the dwarves as they packed their stuff and prepared themselves to leave. Oh hell no. She could not leave before she took care of her "situation". She quickly got on her feet and rummaged through her traveling bag. She hoped she had carried her running shirt with her. When she could not find it, she turned over her bag and all her belongings rolled over the forest soil. 'Hey! You are supposed to pack, not unpack!' Said Bofur. 'I know.' Grumbled Enya. 'I was searching for something.' 'Ah!' She let out a relieved sigh when she found that bright shiny green piece of cloth. Extra absorbant. She hoped it would do just as good a job in absorbing other body fluids as it did with sweat... 'What is that? What do you need that for?' Bofur asked while he snatched her shirt away from her. 'Can you give me that back please?' She asked politely. Bofur grinned. Enya watched him while she packed her bag again. She did not want any other curious dwarves going through her most precious belongings. 'Bofur?' She tilted her head in an attempt to get her shirt back, but it had no effect. 'I have found it.' Said Bofur. 'And that means I can keep it." 'You don't even know what it is!' Enya said. 'No.' Admitted Bofur. 'But I like the color.' 'And I happen to need it' grumbled Enya. 'So give it back' Bofur watched her as she walked to him. Allright, if she could not persuade him to give it back, she had to come up with another strategy. She wanted to try her best to be the perfect mannered lady, but even those ambitions had its limits. And fearing the daunting idea that she would have to miss the only option of a pad, was on of them. If he wanted to play dirty, she would play along. Enya smiled at Bofur and in the blink of an eye she snatched the tobacco pouch, that was hanging around his neck, from its place. 'Oh!' She purred. 'Look what I have found!' 'Hey! Give that back!' Bofur demanded. Enya did her best to look innocent. 'But I found it! And you told me, that accordding to the dwarf laws, I am allowed to keep it!' 'Allright miss.' Bofur laughed. 'We're even. Now give it back.' Enya narrowed her eyes. 'I want my shirt back first.' Bofure sighed. 'You are learning, aren't you?' Enya didn't answer and held up her hand. Carefully, Bofur placed her shirt back in her hands. Enya took a few steps backwards. 'I want my pouch back!' 'I will keep it as a down payment until I am sure my shirt is safe!' Enya said. 'You witch' muttered Bofur. 'You will get it back' teased Enya. Bofur folded his arms and looked angrily at her. 'You know,' Enya told him before she disappeared in the forest. 'Patience is a virtue!'

When Enya joined the -now ready to leave- company, she felt much better. Sure, she had to shred her shirt into pieces, but on the bright side, she now had a few re-usable ladies pads. She wondered how other women in middle earth were coping with this problem. No doubt the majority of them was forced to stay at home. She sighed and giggled when she saw Bofur standing before her. 'My tobacco pouch?' Bofur tried. Enya took it from her traveling bag and handed it over. 'Next time you steal something from me, you won't get it back' Enya said. She followed the dwarves as they started to continue their journey into the wild.

A few days later Enya was caught up in her thoughts, which resulted in being on of the last of the company in the back of the group.

'What is on your mind miss?' She startled when Balin appeared next to her. Balin never traveled in the back of the group. He always seemed to be around Thorin in the front, determining the way and giving him advice on subjects she only could imagine. Since their little rendez-vous a few days ago, she avoided Thorin like the plague, which meant she hadn't talked to Balin for a few days too. Her heart lit up when she imaged Thorin sending Balin towards her to check how she was doing. NO! She corrected herself. He made clear to her she was an uncivilized human being. He had no interest in her whatsoever. Besides, he had more important matters to worry about. She should be thinking about other more irrelevant matters, like the fact that her period was finally at its end. 'I'm pleased to see you, Balin!' Enya smiled. 'I was just thinking about dwarf habits and social rules... and how little I know about those. It makes me feel... uncivilized sometimes.' Balin grinned. 'The social norms we use are not that complicated.' 'Why is it I never have heard of women in your kin? -Erm, I mean, I apologize if I'm too bold, but I don't know who else I could ask.' 'It's fine miss. I won't judge you for wanting to fit in' answered Balin. Enya shrugged. Was it that obvious? 'There are more dwarvish men than women' Balin said. 'Our women prefer to stay at home to do their duties. They won't travel, unless they are in great need.' Enya frowned. 'That sounds pretty medieval to me.' When she saw Balin staring at her, she laughed. 'I'm sorry. I meant that in my world, women and men are equal. Well, we pretend to be anyway. We won't let ourselves be contrained by the roles we were given because of our gender.' 'But what is wrong with staying home and doing your duties there?' Balin asked, obviously perplexed. 'It doesn't mean out women are less valued then the men... That is a far cry from the truth!' 'No, I did not mean it is wrong to do so. I just... in my world it doesn't work that way.' Balin smiled. 'I see' Enya sighed. 'I am so sorry Balin! It is hard for me to adjust to these standards.' Balin shook his head. 'No hardship, miss' 'No, really, I mean it!' Enya stated. 'I beg you, can you teach me more about my kin?' Balin beamed, very pleased with the fact that Enya acknowleged her ancestry. 'I will tell you everything I know, miss Enya.'

Along the next couple of days, Enya learned a great deal about dwarves. During the day, she harrassed poor Balin with all kinds of questions about culture, language, social norms and sometimes even courtship. She learned dwarves were monogamous and a large amount of their kin would never take a wife. When Enya asked why, Balin simply stated that most of them were too busy with their crafts. At night, Balin told her about the history of their kin. Often Enya found herself completely mezmorized by the heroïc tales of their ancestors. She learned about the story behind their quest, the destruction of Erebor and the meeting with the much hated pale white orc. Fíli and Kíli sat often with her and enjoyed the tales as much as she did. The first few days after their little stunt had been very awkward. Thorin had made them apologize to her and continued to ignore all three of them. Because they were all victims of his wrath, they lingered together in the back of the group. She quickly became attached to them and they treated her as one of their accomplishes. But when they listened to Balin in silence, Thorin often watched them from a distance, his attractive face unreadable. During these moments, Enya sometimes caught his gaze but his face never lit up.

They were tracking in a particularly rocky area, when Thorin suddenly stopt the group. His face said it all: someone was approaching their group in high speed. They heard branches snapping and the trees were rushing as someone passed them. Enya heard little paws running. Suddenly, a wooden sleigh appeared from the forest. It was pulled forward by ten overly sized rabbits. Enya's first reflex was to pick one of them up and sqeeze them tight to her chest, but she was distracted by the man that was on the sleigh. He seemed an odd fellow, with dark brown hair and an impressive beard. He was screaming. 'THIEVES! MURDER!' 'Radagast!' Gandalf looked very relieved and everyone lowered their weapons when they realized this man could never be a thread to them. Radagast the Brown... 'He is the wizards who keeps a watchful eye in the east, right?' Enya whispered at Bombur. Bombur just nodded. Gandalf and Radagast trailed off, obviously to discuss a pressing matter. The members of the company made themselves comfortable while they waited. Enya lowered herself and sat right next to where the rabbits were grazing. 'Hi there' she said in a soft tone. The biggest one looked up and sniffed at her hand. 'May I pet you?' She asked. It didn't provide her with an answer, so she carefully raised her hand and started to stroke it gently. The rabbit gave her its consent and pushed its head in the palm of her hand. Enya giggled. She knew this sign all too well. She could proceed. 'What are you doing?' Dwalin scoffed. 'I am giving them some love.' Enya answered. 'They are gentle creatures and deserve your respect.' Dwalin smirked and walked away. Enya sighed and went on with petting every furry member of the little pack. By the time she was finished, Gandalf and Radagast had returned. 'They normally won't allow strangers to approach them' the wizard said, clearly puzzled. Enya wanted to answer that she knew her way around animals, but the look on his face told her he would not he impressed by such a response. Radagast regarded her with curiousity and gently touched her handpalms. 'She is indeed strong, Gandalf. The powers of nature are flowing through her.' 'Fire, ice. The agressive forces' Gandalf nodded. Radagast turned to Enya. 'Try to be one with mother nature. Find peace, balance. If you do, the more subtle forces will flow through you as well.' When Enya shot him a confused glance, he said: 'Water, air. Maybe even earth. When you master those elements, you are able to control the most powerful source nature posesses.' Enya instantly knew the answer. 'Lightning and thunder.' Radagast nodded. 'But why am I called a fire witch then?' She asked. 'Because that matches your temperament. You are fierce. To stay in balance, you must let all their energies flow through you.' It was Gandalf who answered. 'I could take her, to guide her-' Radagast mused, but Thorin broke into the conversation. 'We need her.' He said in a low, authoritative voice. Enya shot him a confused glance. Would they? She was still exploring the bounderies of her powers, which sometimes made her a bit unstable. Also, her fighting skills were no match to any of them.

They all shook up when they heard a wolf howling. Enya wondered if it was one, because it sounded a bit off. 'Is that a wolf?' Bilbo asked. 'No. This is a warg scout.' Dwalin cursed. 'Which means an orc pack is not far behind.' Muttered Thorin. Before they could prepare, the warg scout jumped through the bushes, followed by another one. While Enya was still processing what was actually going on, the dwarves killed both creatures. 'Who did you tell about your quest beyond your kin?' Gandalf asked Thorin. 'No one.' 'Who did you tell?' Pressed the wizard. 'Nobody. I swear.' Gandalf sighed. 'Then I believe you are being hunted.' 'I'll draw them off' Radagast proposed. 'These are gundabad wargs, they will outrun you' Gandalf shouted. 'These are rhosgobel rabbits.' Radagast shot back. 'I'd like to see them try.'

They ran for their lives. Enya was secretly worried that the cute oversized rabbits would not make it, but her instinct told her they would be fine. It seemed Radagast loved his animals far too much to put their lives at stake. She panted and thanked herself for her daily running routine. Bombur on the other hand seemed to have a hard time keeping up. 'Where are we going?' She asked, but nobody bothered to provide her with an answer. She sighed when they had to hide from one member of the orc pack and pressed herself against the boulder. Thorin silently instructed Kíli to shot the warg and his rider. The young dwarf prince tried, but killing the warg made so much noise that by the time both foul creatures were dead, they had the full orc pack on their tail again. 'Well, at least the diversion worked for a few minutes' Enya thought. 'Run!' Screamed Gandalf and everyone was happy to oblige. 'Were are you leading us?' Asked Thorin, but Gandalf ignored him. Suddenly Gandalf disappeared and they found themselves surrounded by the orc pack. 'Hold your ground!' Screamed Thorin. Enya noticed that even in life threatening situations he was irresistable. Very easy on the eye. 'Shut up' she muttered and she grabbed the weapons she got from the troll hoard they searched after their little adventure. The two sai she chose shone bright in the sun. She held them tight in her hands and smiled. Bring it on. 'Over here, you fools!' Enya turned and saw Gandalf waving at them. He was standing at the side of a crevasse and jumped. Thorin shouted everyone should follow. Enya quickly let herself slide down and landed softly in the cave. Dwalin decided to look ahead and concluded that he could not see where it lead. 'Do we follow it or no?' He asked. 'Follow it of course!' Bofur shouted back.

They all followed and ended up in a breathtaking valley. Rivendell. Enya smiled. Although she should be not overly fond of elves, she could not imagine that the inhabitants of such a beautiful valley were not trustworthy. She sighed and winked at Bilbo, who was standing next to her. He seemed as much in awe as she was. 'So, Bilbo. The dwarves won't like this valley any bit, so they probably will leave any investigation to us. Are you up for that?' Bilbo's face lit up. 'Yes, miss Enya. I would very much like so.'