#taylor swift x the summer i turned pretty

[thstarsofsilver]

respectfully i will die on the hill that if they were going to play snow on the beach they should have done it in episode 2, when it was, i don't know, literally snowing on the beach

[etoilesdeglace]

infinity (taylor's version)

[ist4rgirlo]

────────── 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐜.𝐟

ONE SHOT !

they did say that when two people are meant to be together, they will eventually find a way back to each other. however, are you ready to open your heart again to a person who has broken it in the past?

SEQUEL TO : you’re losing me

───────────────────────────

“They say that your first love never dies. You can put out the flame but not the fire”

It was true, for me atleast. I’d be lying if I said that I don’t love Conrad, because I do, I still do — no matter how much he had hurt me before, a piece of my heart is still beating for him.

Time, curious time

Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs

Were there clues I didn't see?

And isn't it just so pretty to think

It wasn’t easy to move on, he made me feel things — things that I never felt before. He was different, he just was.

For two years, I had done my best to put the past behind me, but still, I would often find myself thinking of Conrad and wondering what could have been.

Until one day, when an unexpected text message popped up on my phone. It was from Conrad, of all people. Confused but curious, I opened the message. The only thing that it said was 'Are you free today?’ Could he possibly still care about me, after all this time?

A string that pulled me

Out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar

Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire

Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons

One single thread of gold tied me to you

I thought back to the words we had said to each other; the heartache that had been so painful that it had taken so long for me to move on. But still, here he was, wanting to see me. Was I willing to open my heart up to someone who had broken it so badly in the past?

───────────────────────────

Conrad asked me if we could meet at the beach near Cousins. I dont know why why I said yes, maybe I wanted closure — maybe I wanted to hear his side.

I stood on the dock, the ocean air getting caught in my hair. Although the sun was out and the sky a brilliant blue,

I couldn't bring myself to take in the beauty of the day. I was too consumed with my thoughts, instead glancing around, distracted and flustered.

I saw Conrad — standing at the end of the shore, a better vision than the view of the ocean I had become accustomed to.

I swallowed hard as I stared into his eyes - the same eyes that had shattered my heart months ago. He looked different. Older, strong, different from the man I had said goodbye to all those months ago.

But there he was, standing in front of me, arms crossed — pain pierced through me like a hot knife as I remembered fond memories I shared with him. Memories that were now tarnished by the hurt he had caused me.

I took a deep breathe and stepped forward — walking towards him.

“Hey Conrad,” I said tentatively.

He looked up with surprise, then quickly looked away. “Hey y/n,” he muttered.

“It’s been so long huh?” Conrad asked. I looked at him before answering “Yeah, It has. I just want to get to the point already. Why did you want to see me?” I asked him.

His eyes met mine, filled with regret and longing. "I never stopped thinking about you," he confessed, his voice laced with raw emotion.

I listened, my heart warring between the past and the present. Memories flooded my mind - stolen kisses, whispered promises, and the crushing pain of betrayal. And yet, beneath it all, the flicker of what once was remained.

"You broke me," I replied, my voice steadying.

Conrad reached out to gently touch my cheek, sending a shiver down my spine. "Please, Y/n," he pleaded, his voice filled with desperation. "What I did was fucked up, you didn’t deserve that — you didn’t deserve to be ignored, I-I should’ve paid more attention to you”

"I messed up, I admit it. I was a fool to let you go. I've regretted it every single day, and I wish I could turn back time and change things." He said, taking a step closer.

I blinked back tears, trying to resist the pull I felt towards him. "Conrad, it's not that easy. You hurt me so deeply, and I've spent so long trying to heal." I said, backing away from him.

"I know," he murmured, his voice cracked with emotion. "But I'm here now, and all I want is a chance to make things right, to prove to you that I've changed. I want to be better for you.”

His words tugged at my heartstrings, and I felt a glimmer of hope. Could we really find a way back to each other? Was it possible to rebuild what had been broken?

Time, wondrous time

Gave me the blues and then purple pink skies

And it's cool, baby, with me

The sound of crashing waves filled the silence between us, punctuating the weight of the moment. I looked into Conrad's eyes, searching for sincerity, I’m scared — scared of risking again. Scared of getting hurt again.

“I-I don’t know, Conn-“ I said looking down, he walked closer — his hands reaching for mine.

“I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything, just.. just let me love you. Let me be a better man for you.” he paused “I’ll wait for you”

And isn't it just so pretty to think

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me?

I looked up at him, I saw the glint in his eyes — he was genuine, his voice sounded hopeful — his eyes filled with love. It wouldn’t hurt if I tried again right? maybe now, it’ll be right.

[taytrashmouth]

The summer I’ve waited for

Jeremiah fisher x female reader

TW: drinking, swearing.

Description: you’ve been friends with Jeremiah forever, back in Boston you are inseparable, what happens when he invites you to cousins this summer

———————————————————————

You met Jeremiah at school when you were 12, he’s always been funny and kind, he was nice to you when no one else was.

You were best friends since the first moment you met, the only thing that sucked was that he was never around for summer.

But this year, at 16 he invited you with, Susannah was so happy you were coming with, Belly would have a girlfriend and she loved you like her own.

The drive down to cousins was long, Conrad drove, Susannah scrolled through her phone in the passengers seat while you sat in the back with Jeremiah.

Your leg was bouncing up and down rapidly, what if it was awkward, what if belly didn’t like you, what if you ruined the perfect summers Jeremiah spoke of so often-

Your thoughts were broken when jere put his hand on your bouncing leg.

“Hey what’s wrong?” He frowned.

“Just nervous.” You shook your head.

“It’ll be so fun having you around, and I already know belly will love you, besides you’ll have me by your side, you’re stuck with me for three whole months.”

You couldn’t help but smile, he had no idea how much you liked him, he was the only boy you’d liked for 5 years. Spending 3 months with him sounded like heaven.

When you arrived Jeremiah showed you your room, right across from his. The house was gorgeous and the sound of the waves was magical.

You sat outside by the pool looking out at the ocean once you’d unpacked. Absolutely mesmerized.

It wasn’t until you saw Conrad, Jeremiah and Steven (you’d seen him in photos) throwing belly into the pool while she kicked and screamed.

“You guys that wasn’t funny.” Belly spoke.

“Yeah guys not cool.” You walked behind both Conrad and Jeremiah, hands around their waists. As they both turned to look at you, you pushed as hard as you could pushing them both in too.

They both yelled and you and belly laughed.

“I love her!” Belly laughed and smiled at Jeremiah, gesturing to you.

“Yeah me too.” He smiled subtly and looked down at the water, making you blush.

It was a few days later that you sat at the kitchen island waiting to watch a movie with belly and the moms that belly said something that surprised you.

“You know I’m so happy i finally got to meet you cause you’re like really cool, and because jere talks about you non-stop, he thinks you’re so smart and he tells us all these stories about you being like the coolest person.” Belly rambled.

“All good things I hope.” You chuckled, blushing slightly. “ I’m sure he doesn’t talk about me that much.”

“No there was a point I wanted to be you, and I hadn’t even seen your photo- I was like 12 but still”

You both giggled.

Summer went on, you went to parties with jere and he taught you how to play beer pong, you both sang karaoke at this tiki bar on Saturdays, he showed you all of his favorite spots in cousins. Late night drives and long walks on the beach.

Everything was perfect except you couldn’t help but feel that he loved belly…..and it hurt.

But there were moments where you allowed yourself to dream, to feel as though he liked you back.

The night by the pool when lover came on the speaker and you smiled at the sound of your favorite song.

“Let’s dance.” Jeremiah spoke. You looked up at him as he stood up and held out his hand. “You need to practice anyway.” Referring to the deb ball, belly begged you to do it with her.

You didn’t know how the hell to find a date, you only liked, and wanted one guy.

You smiled and gave him your hand. He pulled you up and held your waist. You wrapped your arms around his neck and you began to sway. He spun you around slowly once or twice but soon it was just the two of you in this moment, looking into each others eyes.

“You’re a good dancer.” You whispered.

“I have a good partner.” He smiled, both of your cheeks burning.

Then there was the day you tried on your debutante dress, you looked in your bedroom mirror, only seeing the parts of yourself you hated.

That’s when Jere barged in with a smile, rambling about something Steven just did, but when you turned around he stopped dead.

“Holy shit…” he let out.

“I know-“ your voice was laced with insecurities but he didn’t let you fished before moving closer and making you spin around.

“You’re perfect.” He smiled and held your cheeks, you leaned into his touch wishing this moment would last.

Tears filled your eyes, he was healing all your wounds, damage he didn’t even cause.

“Thank you.” You smiled back.

When Taylor came out for belly’s birthday she bought belly a purple swimsuit, she had a pink one and she had bought you a dark blue one, because she knew belly liked you, and wanted you to be included.

You were insecure, people at school had bullied you your whole life, your weight fluctuated a lot and you weren’t exactly comfortable in a bikini.

When you didn’t go down to the pool after about 20mins jere came to look for you…

He found you in your bathroom, looking at yourself in the mirror in your new bikini with tears running down your cheeks

“Hey hey hey, what’s wrong?” He asked with a frown, immediately pulled you into his chest.

You hugged him tightly and he stroked your hair.

“I hate it.” You chocked.

“What? What do you hate?” He held your shoulders looking at your face now.

“Me, they way I look, fuck, I look like a whale compared to them.”

Jeremiah almost laughed.

“Them? Belly and taylor?”

“Yeah and like every other girl at this stupid beach.” You cried more, but he wiped away the tears that fell.

“Turn around.” He smiled, you grumpily spun.

“Exactly what I thought, no sign of a whale…and y/n….you’re hot, don’t tell belly or Taylor I said this but you’re like way hotter than them.” He exclaimed.

You chocked a laugh.

“Really?” You frowned again.

“Definitely.” He hugged you again, and made jokes as you washed your face before following him back to the pool.

“I found her!!! She was trying to make sure she was still hotter than all of us.” He joked as you walked out the doors to the pool.

Taylor smiled, “I knew that bikini was your color, it’s literally so hot.” Belly nodded in agreement.

Steven gawked at you as you climbed into the pool and belly hit him on the head.

It wasn’t until you were walking along the beach as the sun set, a week till the deb ball and still you had no date.

“Hey!” Jeremiah called as he ran down the beach to catch up.

“Hey.” You smiled back.

You talked about a lot of things as the sun began to set.

“Still no date?” He asked.

You shook your head,

“Seriously? I don’t believe no one’s asked you.” He spoke as if you were the most precious thing that any guy would want.

You shook your head again, a few guys had asked, but you didn’t really want to go with them. So you told them no.

You continued to talk about the ball.

“Mom told Conrad to ask Belly, but I think she’ll be pissed if she finds out he didn’t actually want to ask her you know?” He spoke.

“Yeah, I’d be pissed if that happened to me.”

“That’s why I swore off these things, drama creating nonsense, I’d only make an exception for this one girl-“ he spoke slowly but you cut him off.

“Yeah, it sucks that Conrad’s taking her-“

“What?” He stopped walking.

“You like belly….don’t you?” You frowned.

He scoffed and looked off to the side.

“You’re really really dumb for someone with straight A’s, you know that?” He asked.

You frowned even more.

“I’d make an exception for you n/n….”

Your whole world stopped for a minute, looking into his ocean eyes.

“I’m just waiting for you to ask me……” he looked at his feet.

“I didn’t ask because I needed to know you wanted this, I couldn’t do it because i could never forgive myself if I screwed this up, us…” he looked back up at you.

Your heart was pounding, your head was exploding and your stomach erupted with butterflies.

“Will you go to the ball with me Jere?” You smiled.

He sighed with relief and smiled the biggest you e ever seen.

“Fuck yes!!!!” He wrapped his arms around you and spun you in the air before putting you down.

You laughed, feeling on top of the world.

“You sure about this?” He asked looking down at you.

“It’s been five years of crushing, I’m sure.” You joked.

“Good because I really want to kiss you.” He smiled.

He leaned in and your lips met, it was like two pieces of a puzzle. So passionate yet soft. This was the summer you’d always wanted, the summer you waited for.

As you broke apart for air you both smiled and entangled your hands, and you walked home in the dark, waves crashing against your ankles.

“I liked you before we were even friends you know.” Jeremiah spoke up.

“What?”

“Yeah, I saw you in the hallway one day and I knew, that the pretty girl by locker 34 was going to be my wife one day.”

You smiled, and laughed with him, as you swing your hands back and forth.

“Really? I still had braces….why me?” You asked with a frown.

“Because I love you, you idiot!” He yelled, he turned and kissed you for the second time that night. You smiled into the kiss, and the waves crashed into your calves.

“I love you too…I always have.” You told him. “And I’m not sure about ‘wife’ just yet, but I’m just waiting for you to ask me..” you quoted his words from earlier.

He smiled and got down on one knee, his shorts were wet and your dress was blowing in the wind. You threw your head back in a smile.

“Y/n l/n, will you make me the happiest golden retriever and be my girlfriend,”

“Fuck yes!!!!”

He got up and you held onto each other like it was the last time you’d hug.

When you arrived back at the house, he dragged you up to his room, rummaging in his drawer to find something.

“I uh- I got this for your birthday last year, but I chickened out of giving it to you because I though it might overstep a boundary or something.” He explained as he sat next to you on his bed and handed you a box.

You carefully took off the lid and revealed a sliver locket, the letter J engraved on the front, you opened it up and on the left was a picture on Jeremiah giving you a piggy back ride, both of you smiling so widely. And on the right the lyrics ‘at every table I’ll save you a seat’ were engraved in cursive.

You closed the locket and stared at the J, then at him, tears in your eyes.

“Because I really know you.” He pointed at his initial.

You smiled, tears falling.

“I love you, you’re perfect.” You smiled, looking at his beautiful eyes, and smile, thinking of how thoughtful he was, how kind, how funny, he was yours, and you were his.

He helped you out the necklace on, and you never took it off

[kierreras]

BELLY CONKLIN x CONRAD FISHER 

“the summer i turned pretty” season two, teaser trailer

back when we were still changin' for the better wanting was enough for me, it was enough to live for the hope of it all cancel plans just in case you'd call and say, "meet me behind the mall" so much for summer love and saying "us" 'cause you weren't mine to lose you weren't mine to lose, no

[mismatchedstars]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥conrad fisher as the tortured poets department lyrics

[rachemchul]

My smile is like I won a contest and to hide that would be so dishonest

[garfinkelstingle]

all the things (and nothings) | jeremiah fisher

pairing: jeremiah fisher x reader (gender not specified)

warnings: pretty sure that for the very first time there are NONE!!!!!!

word count: 265

summary: reader is just very lucky to have someone like jeremiah in her life

a/n: please do not ask me where this came from. it was written in five minutes but i do like it. it's cute. plus i haven't posted in an actual eternity so i'm happy to have released something!! also there's a ton of (normal-length) stuff that i'm working on since my internship was going kinda slow so i'll be sure to release some more stuff this summer :) also really hope you're all doing blissfully well xxx

masterlist

I never realized what a big deal that was. How amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head. —Nina LaCour

You were talking; you had been for hours. Neither of you were really sure what it was you were talking about, but it didn't matter. It never did with Jeremiah.

With him, every topic was treated as if it was of utmost importance. He would focus his entire attention on you, and stare you down with those big blue's of his. There was no "too ridiculous" or "who cares?" with him. Everything you said mattered, no matter how idiotic or miniscule.

He would remember every little detail of whatever it is you talked about last time, and make sure to incorporate it into your next discussion if it fit, showing you that he paid attention, always, and that he really, truly, cared.

You never had that before, not from your parents, or friends, or boyfriends. There was always something you said that didn't belong or wasn't of importance; you never minded. That's how it's always been, and you were okay with it. You've learned to live with it. Everyone somehow did, didn't they?

But you never actually realized how big of a deal it was. How amazing it was, to have found someone who wanted to hear about all the things that went on in your head, no matter what. It was special, and so was he, and you were lucky, so, so lucky. That you were aware of, would always be aware of.

You loved him, and he loved you, and if you were to talk about nothing for the rest of your lives—it was nice to know that that would never change.

[grapejuicestyless]

can you do a conrad fic based on sad, beautiful, tragic by t.s.?

Sad, Beautiful, Tragic.

Conrad Fisher x fem!reader

Summery: Y/n is young, naive but not stupid. Conrad had made one too many empty promises for even her to continue believing.

My feet stood cemented on the pavement, stuck to the grounds that lingered in deadly details of him, but never us. Not now, not ever.

I felt like an idiot, showing up now, so late. A random autumn night in Boston. The streets in the city still bustling with life, longing for the scents of pumpkin spice and apple cider. The further into the suburbs you drove, the quieter it grew. The trees became plentiful, black streets becoming canvases of orange and yellow.

We weren’t right. It was obvious. Laurel reprimanded me for this, my great attempts to salvage what little we had left between us. A dwindling flame, a broken glass spilling wine across a pearl white table cloth. She called me a fool, too blinded by what I wanted to work so badly in my head that I refused what was being presented right in front of me.

His snide remarks with his school friends, all much smarter than I. They knew it. I was never a prodigy, a prospect, gifted. Each dig was minor, easily brushed away like dust on the pages of a forgotten story page. But Conrad always had a way with his words, a tongue that made even the kindest comments come out like daggers. Backhanded and cruel, aimed at the naive.

Gullible was never written on the ceiling yet each time he smiled and pointed I looked. I was a scarlet thread, wrapped tightly around his thumb.

When the door opened, Susannah greeted me with a sad smile. Her eyes spoke a thousand sentences, pleading for me to leave, walk away while I still could. But Conrad had promised, promised that if I just gave him one more chance it would be different.

And I believed him. I believed him because when I met him, he was a good man. Shy, sweet, observant. He was charming, and god he was always handsome. The Conrad I fell for never lied to me. If we disagreed, it was quickly resolved.

Now it seemed like each phone call was just another nail in the coffin. Another reason flying by, red flags blowing in the wind begging me to follow, to leave. It was walking on eggshells, fragile. I was clumsy and they broke. I sit alone in my room sometimes, phone beeping to its death, hanging off my shoulder and I forget. I forget all the reasons I am fighting, what I am fighting for.

But then he comes back, just like he always does. A vicious cycle. He throws daggers at my deepest hurts, freshest wounds to have the pleasure to watch me crumble within his grasp. And when I’m too weak to stand, he lifts me back up. Suddenly, my stomach aches, I want to throw up. It’s bubbling up my throat, the guilt is eating at me until I am nothing. How could I ever even forget how wonderful this man is to me, how could I ever want to leave? I wipe my memory of all the nights I spend crying on the floor. We never speak of it, what we’re doing, but the guilty look in his eyes tells me he knows. We both do. I sleep on the floor for another week, I can’t move. I am paralyzed by my heavy heart, a locket around my neck. It’s golden, decorated in whimsical swirls. A picture of Conrad stays with me always, I clench in my fist. I want to rip it off, watch the chain scatter. It weighs me down, I can barely breathe.

I am a good girl, I don’t fight. I stay quiet while Conrad fights himself. I don’t buy into his attempts to work me up anymore. I know that with him, with us, we are destined to see storms. I know better now that once they pass, the sky will clear and the tragedy of it all will fade away. So I wait. I always wait for that moment of clarity. I refuse to think when I’m so worked up.

It’s sad, and it’s beautiful and oh so tragic, the way we dance around each other. How hours ago I was standing outside his door, regretting my naivety, trying to salvage us. Now I sit in his living room, waiting for him with my legs crossed. The melodic ticking of the clock alerts me of the time. I’m cold, my nose is rosy. I let the house capture me in its warm blanket. A sacred place of safety, I smell Susannah, I smell my mother. I see Belly’s old pictures on the wall in frames and Stevens gifts to Jeremiah and Conrad.

“Y/n/n, hey.” His voice is airy, lips pressed to my temple. I didn’t even hear him coming in the deafening ringing of silence in my ears. My eyes shift to his face, but I cannot move.

“Hi Con.” My voice is coarse, tired. It’s so late, my eyes hurt from being open so long. His arms wrap around me as the couch dips beside my thighs. He’s so warm, so gentle now, I find myself drifting away again. Getting lost in the calm, I forget about how devastating the storm was. I haven’t even picked up all my discarded pieces yet. Somehow, I manage to keep giving away more and more, even now. I am not sure how I can afford this.

Our conversation is warm, long. He talks about school and I talk about mine. With us being alone, I miss any snide comments or judgmental stares. He is so much kinder without the influence of others. He is almost the same man I grew up loving.

“You’ll still visit me, won’t you?” He pleads innocently. The look in his eyes is genuine, I almost crumble. A sharp intake of air is stuck in my throat, my brain becomes re-wired.

I remember the sad looks from Susannah, the fights with my mother. I remember how disappointed Belly was when I left again. How Steven yelled and fought until I was gone. Everyone in my life sees it in a bad light and I still managed to miss it.

Suddenly the golden chain around my neck feels heavy again. It hurts my skin, it’s burning the back of my neck. I hold it in my hand, it’s still heavy in my palm.

“Y/n?” His hand is on my thigh, I can’t breathe. My chest heaves, my throat is burning. There’s a lump stuck in my throat. It’s expanding and my eyes hurt. I’m tired, I’m sick, I’m sad.

Standing up, his hands drop from my lap. I close my eyes so I don’t have to look at him anymore. I can feel my lip quivering while I suck in a harsh breath. My eyebrows are furrowed, fists clenched.

“Y/n, hey, baby…” He cooed at me, palm pressing to my cheek. I am inconsolable, irrevocably damaged. Too lost in our beauty to remember the tragedy, the sadness that defines us. That is us.

“Conrad, I’m leaving.” It comes out sticky. Quiet other than my sniffles and his breathing.

“You just got here, did…have I done something?” I feel his hands slip down to my elbows. He holds me in place son the carpet. It hurts, not because he’s holding too tight, but because his touch burns.

“No, Conrad.” My eyes open, I search his blue ones. I get lost in our deep they are, collecting my thoughts. I feel trapped.

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. If I stay any longer I’m afraid I won’t ever leave.” His face is blank until it isn’t. It’s shifting, contorting into something that looks incredibly confused, pained.

“What, what are you saying?” His voice is less calm now, raising. Not quiet reaching the level of desperation I can see building inside of him already.

“It’s a cycle, Con, can’t you see it? We’re toxic and it’s sick because we are the ones letting it be this way. We fight but we never talk. You promise me you’ll get better but you never do! I’m tired of trying to be alright when I’m around you! You don’t make me feel good.” It’s off my chest, yet he hasn’t comprehended any of it.

“Y/n, please. We can work through it, right? I love you, I do. Please just, please. I love you, you have to love me. It doesn’t just go away like that, I love you.” He’s crying now. His blue eyes clouded in a dark overcast. He makes me feel guilty. All self respect I have is gone, and suddenly I’m back in his arms.

My head finds its place on his shoulder, I tuck my face into his neck. Not to be close, but because I feel to ashamed to show it after falling so quickly under his mind games.

Silently, I agree with him. Of course I still love him, I always will. So I stay, a fool who got so close, but remained so far away. He presses another kiss to the side of my head and tells me I won’t regret it. When I wake up alone in his bed, cold the next morning, I know I’ve been blinded to another empty promise. It’s so hard to stay when he’s mean, but it’s even harder when he’s sweet. So I pack my things quietly and leave. I won’t visit him at school. Not until he comes home will we see each other again.

Oddly enough, the thought doesn’t drain me. I don’t dread never seeing him for weeks on end. I don’t regret not choosing somewhere closer to get an education simply to be near him. I am relieved he will be gone. My heart keeps beating.

It’s barely a month before I’m stood back in front of him. Only now the carpet is cold cement and his living room is the train tracks. He is in Boston, he’ll never leave. He tries his hardest to get me to stay. He’s the nicest I’ve ever seen him. He’s persuasive, but in our time apart he doesn’t know I see it less as a genuine feeling from him and more as a twisted tactic of manipulation.

“We can settle down, we’re almost out of college. Just me and you and it’ll be great. If you’d only give us another chance.” He pleads, hands not yet on my skin, but he’s so close. I can feel his warm breath on my skin.

“I don’t want that anymore, Conrad.” I try to be kind about it, I try and blame my distance on myself. It is me who is trying so desperately to break things off. He’ll never know it was his cold heart that shattered our beautiful love. But it’s helpless, he won’t stop.

“Then we’ll travel the world. Y/n, I don’t care, I just want to be with you!” He tries again. Yet all his words are the exact same. He’s not even trying to understand me, I feel like screaming.

“No, no.” I reaffirm. I won’t look at him because it hurts me too much. I know if I look at him I’ll stay again. My chest is closing in on me, I can’t help but reach to hold onto it. My pinky grazes the same locket when I do. It’s dainty, but gorgeous. There’s stacks of photos within it. Mostly of Conrad, but a few of my family underneath.

“I’m not understanding, Y/n. I don’t get it?” He’s desperate, the train is coming. Once it pulls up to the platform, if he hasn’t convinced me one last time to stay, I’ll be forever gone. It’s the final fight, we can feel it.

“All we do is fight, Conrad. I can’t fight anymore. I tried to end it earlier and you promised me it would work out, it would stop but it hasn’t! And I can’t do it anymore.” My hands rest on the bends of his elbows. I hold him close, I look into his eyes finally, I want him to understand me, I beg for him to understand me.

“Then let me fix it. Let me make it better, Y/n. Anything, I’ll do anything I just can’t-don’t walk away.” My pleads are deaf on his ears. He doesn’t care about what I want, and it’s apparent now that he never did. He’s selfish, so he only takes. He wants me but he hates to have to deal with me.

“Conrad, stop!” He’s ranting, my voice is loud over his. A few people turn their heads. It’s so late in the evening, they’re only passing. Ready to go home.

My eyes shift around until everyone has gone back to their own business. The breath that leave my chest is heavy, harsh but quick.

“Please, Con. Please just try and listen to me.” My voice is breaking. Not because my leaving is breaking my heart, but because I am tired. I am tired of staying, of being so weak. I am wasting my youth on a boy who hasn’t matured yet. I deserve more, I crave it.

“There’s no amount of fixing either of us could do to mend whatever’s happened between us. We lost it a long time ago. And I’ll always love you, how could I not? You’re everything to me. But you’re not mine anymore, and I can’t be yours.” My hands slip from his skin to my chest. I try an even out my breathing, again I am reminded of my necklace. It feels wrong to still wear his picture around my neck when I’ve already let him go.

Unclasping it slowly, I let the gold gather in my palm. It’s warm from where it touched my skin. It’s rusting form how often it’s been worn, and my neck feels lighter. I ball up my fist, taking his hand over my other one steadily.

When he feels the warmth mixing with the coolness of the pendant, I can see him giving up. He nods, swallowing hard.

When the train comes, I wave goodbye to him one last time. He’s frozen, hand still holding the locket out and eyes still sad. I wonder how long he’ll stay there, I never see him move even as the train pulls away from the station.

………………………………………………………………………………….

The whirring of the train passing is accompanied by the occasional blowing of its horn. It’s deafening against the heavy silence that’s consumed me. There’s not even a crunch of a leaf to break it. Now that she’s gone, it’s settled in how I’m truly alone. I’ve blown it.

I wait for her to be out of sight. The caboose nothing more than a small speck in the horizon. The moon is high, the wind is chilling. It’s nearly winter in Boston, yet the weather is no where near as cold as my bones. I curl my fingers over her locket, bringing my knuckles to my lips, I breathe over it.

It doesn’t even smell like her. It’s a sad souvenir of pity. She didn’t want me, I’m certain she only gave it to me because she didn’t want a reminder of me either.

I stuff it into my pocket slowly, fingers feeling around the rough cotton of my pants. It sits snug at the bottom of it, right beside the long, handwritten note I prepared for her.

I knew I had my own demons, I know I was a mess. I treated her horribly, I gambled away our love. But this time I was serious. I wanted to fix it. I wanted to make it better.

My words meant little to nothing now. There were no amount of promises I could make when I was already too late.

[mytvjunk]

I would like to see Belly develop into a person with interests outside of Conrad and Jeremiah. I want to see her character grow into her own person; cuz right now her entire narrative is her relationship with the brothers. The writers need to do more for her character development. She's so one noted and at her core, not very interesting.

[thatonekimgirl]

"I know that the fans were expecting "Snow on the Beach" for that moment. But "Invisible String," there's something about that song in that moment. There's a lightness to it. [...] It's a really wonderful memory." - Jenny Han

[thstarsofsilver]

Love your analysis for snow on the beach but the Christmas scene was interwoven when she saw him again for the first time in the beach house post breakup showing how connected they still were and snow on the beach wouldn’t fit that scene since it’s about falling for someone at the same time and that’s not the emotion in the beach house scene. And the motif of the season is how connected they are even if it seems like they won’t be together which invisible string works for while snow on the beach is about a singular fleeting moment

oh for sure you're absolutely correct haha, i just watched that episode once and on a plane so my memory of it is pretty hazy at best lol, and all i remember is watching that scene and being dramatically shocked that they didn't play snow on the beach. but invisible string is def thematically a better fit - and love ur thoughts on the season motif!

[333itgirl]

BELLY AND JEREMIAH GOT DELICATE TV, SNOW ON THE BEACH, AND DOIN’ TIME I FUCKING WON TODAY.

[midnightsmindmv]

Steven Conklin x Oc: the summer we turned pretty

Coming soon

Summary: Alva Fisher was untouchable. Two older brothers, a fiercely protective(but not strict) mama, all with daddy’s money. Oh Alva Fisher could have been the biggest bitch in all of Cousins. But AV was the kindest girl I’d ever met; my little Guppy…but this year after she stepped out of that house the word “Guppy” when dry on my lips.

“A-Alva?”

“Hey conkle shell”

Alva Fisher and Belly Conklin were impossible to separate. Every summer if you saw one you saw the other—followed by the three older boys. And this summer, this was their summer. No longer unrequited.

Tags: jealous Steven, fluff, angst, underaged drinking, Belly x Cameron, Susannah lives, Steven is an idiot, Alva Fisher and Taylor do not get along, protective Conrad and Jeremiah.

🦋⚓️🌻🐚🍋🌊🎧🌠💛

[isabel-conrad]

"And you kiss me in a way that’s gonna screw me up forever... "

[alstroemeriawildflowers]

1989 (bellyconrad's version)