#tbh I don’t even remember why I blocked you 😭

[clingyduoapologist]

did you bloxk mw again

Yeah lmao

[fvnalgirlcomplex]

PRETTY ISN’T PRETTY ✸ J. HUGHES

and it begins!! this is irl but also mostly social media au because my tumblr is/was acting up and deleted most of what i had written and.. i’m lazy so!!! reader is referred to as ‘you’ and their looks are talked about but i tried to avoid describing looks… however… reader doesn’t have blonde hair but listen like every nhl fic uses a blonde girl for the fc so. i think its justified!! but sorry to anyone blonde reading lol. i didn’t rlly know how to end this tbh but i hope it’s still good and i hope u like it!! remember that you are beautiful! any negative things said obviously aren’t true :)

warnings: light mention/implication of an eating disorder, insecurities, hate comments, reader gets picked up (lowkey manhandled a little bit), suggestive comments (2), unedited writing

masterlist, series masterlist

fc: olivia rodrigo ( oliviarodrigo on ig )

summary: dating jack wasn’t gonna be easy, you knew that. you just thought him traveling a lot was gonna be the hardest, not being picked apart by his fans.

bought a bunch of makeup,

tryna cover up my face

i started to skip lunch,

stopped eatin’ cake on birthdays

youruser

liked by lhughes and 56,890 others

youruser 22!! shout out to cole caulfield

view 182 comments…

colecaulfield thank you for the shout out. I really needed it.

youruser anything for a fan

user19 she’s so cocky omg

yourfriend the cake was so good! you should’ve had some :(

youruser the cake wasn’t very big and i don’t really like cake that much anyways lol glad you liked it though!!

jackhughes ❤️

liked by youruser

user373 at least she chose a blurry pic so we don’t have to see her face lmaoo

jackhughes

liked by trevorzegras and 120,293 others

jackhughes birthday girl 🎂

view 367 comments…

_quinnhughes haps

youruser damn. not even a full sentence 😔

user14 even his brother doesn’t like her lmao 💀

user298 i hope she knows she’s public enemy #1

user63 bro could do sm better

trevorzegras big! 22! 2️⃣2️⃣

user86 the way she looks at him though 🥹

user7 no..

user329 why are you so miserable

user738 he did her so dirty with the second picture 😭 makeup can only do so much but somehow she looks even worse than i imagined with no makeup

“I didn’t know it was such a big deal—”

“It shouldn’t have to be a big deal, Jack! I asked you not to post it, I don’t understand why you don’t listen!”

Maybe you were overreacting. Maybe you were taking your insecurities out on Jack when it really wasn’t his fault. But, it’s hard to stay calm when you’ve started to hate what you see everytime you look in the mirror, or someone takes a picture of you and that’s when you have makeup on. Words couldn’t describe how gross you feel without makeup on.

“I think you look gorgeous. I don’t know what the issue is.” Jack responded, too nonchalantly for your liking.

“The issue is that I don’t think I look gorgeous so I don’t want it out in the world for all your fans to see.” Jack sighed at your response. He knew what this was about but to him, you the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. He just couldn’t grasp how someone like you could be insecure.

“Y/n…” He said softly, grabbing the sides of your face. The mood in the room had quickly changed from tense to sad as soon as the word fans was mentioned. “You’re stunning. I know you don’t believe me but, you really are. All those comments are from a bunch of teenage girls who are jealous. I know it’s hard to block out but you just have to try ‘cause I wanna show everyone how pretty my girl is, okay?” Jack finished, trying to cheer you up. It didn’t really work to be honest but still, through glass eyes, you looked up at him and nodded before he brought you into a comforting hug.

You wanted to believe him, you really did. But it wasn’t just teen fan girls. It was also grown men. Men your boyfriends age who thought you were just as hideous. They couldn’t have been doing it for the same reasons as the fan girls. They had to have just been being honest, right?

‘cause there’s always somethin’ missin’

there’s always somethin’ in the mirror

that i think looks wrong

when pretty isn’t pretty enough,

what do you do?

You loved spending time with Jack. And you also loved getting to spend time with the people he cared about. But the pressure of looking good before going knowing that pictures would be taken, with or without you knowing, made you want to puke.

You started planning out your outfits far in advance, what shoes, how you’d do you hair, your makeup. Everything. You told yourself over and over again that the outfit is cute. You asked Jack about it and he always reassured you that you would look beautiful in anything and the friends you’d ask say the same thing.

But that still wasn’t enough to stop your brain from making you think everything was wrong. No matter you were wearing, when you looked in the mirror it just looked… wrong. Like something was missing.

“Babe?” Your boyfriends voice came softly through the bedroom door. Jack had invited you to the Devils Halloween Party this year which would be your first New Jersey Devils event. Jack and Luke were wearing matching spider-man costumes with Nico and Dawson who were currently at the brothers apartment. “You ready?” He asked you as he poked his head into the bedroom before fully stepping in, closing the door behind him.

“Yeah, I was just looking for my cat ears.” Lie. You were overanalyzing yourself like you always did before you went out but you knew if you told Jack that he’d feel bad and tell you that you didn’t have to go if you weren’t comfortable.

It wasn’t clear if Jack really believed your lie but he glanced around the room for the headband anyways before finding it on the edge of the bed next to you and placing them on your head for you.

Still sitting on the edge of the bed from when you were putting on your boots before you caught a look at yourself in the mirror, you looked up at Jack, who’s hands stayed on the side of your face after gently placing the headband on you.

Words weren’t exchanged as he looked at you, his thumbs tenderly moving over cheeks. He moved down to place a lovingly soft kiss on your forehead and then your lipstick covered lips.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered against your mouth. You almost believed him.

njdwag.updates

liked by jackhughes and 2,384 others

njdwag.updates y/n at the halloween party with a fellow wag. she went as a black cat 🐈‍⬛

view 103 comments…

theotherwag sweetest girl to ever exist 🩷

user273 jacks like 🥹

user33 is this a safe space?

user649 depends…

user33 i love yn. and i love yn and jack!! they’re so cute and it’s so obvious everyone that hates her is just jealous :/

user472 REAL!!! they claim to be fans of jack but hate to see him happy… like something isn’t adding up??

liked by 208 others

user634 wait jack went as spider-man and she went as a black cat?? she’s kinda funny for that

user710 jack probably didn’t want to outright match with her 💀

user845 her standing next to another wag.. this is so sad like jack!! wake up!!

and everybody’s keepin’ it up, so you think it’s you

i could change up my body and change up my face

i could try every lipstick in every shade

but i’d always feel the same

‘cause pretty isn’t pretty enough anyways

njdwags

liked by 1,266 others

njdwags y/n y/l/n at her colleges football game with friends!

view 103 comments…

user968 everytime there’s a picture of her standing next to someone it really highlights how ugly she is LMAO

user263 idk why people hate her sm she’s so pretty

user945 she’s even prettier in person! i met her at the game and she was so nice. it’s so sad to see all the hate she gets :(

liked by njdwags

user293 we have class together!! she’s literally so sweet and smart

user683 ugly ass

user78 she chose a college football game over her boyfriends hockey game…

user537 why does she always have her tongue out 💀

and i try to ignorе it, but it's everythin' i see

it’s on the poster on the wall, it's in like every magazine

it’s in my phone, it's in my head, it's in the boys i bring to bed

it’s all around, it's all the time, i don't know why i even try

It’s like you couldn’t stop yourself from reading comments on posts about you. You knew you should ignore but it seemed impossible to ignore at this point.

You knew the comments would be negative like they always were but you always had hope they would be nice for once. And there was nice ones sometimes! But most were so overwhelmingly negative, you couldn’t even focus on the positives.

And it wasn’t just comments either, no. Not anymore at least. Since, you’ve read the comments, it’s like all the negative has leaked out of your phone and into every aspect of your life.

It was when you visited your family over winter break, you had totally forgotten about the posters you had in past years of icons from your childhood. Icons who were so how all skinny or blonde or had stunning blue eyes or all three. The break was supposed to get you away from all that and yet, you still cried yourself to sleep that first night.

Every aspect of life also included you and your boyfriend. You knew before you and Jack had started dating, he was constantly liking other girls bikini pics on instagram. And even though he had stopped doing that, you’d still seen tweets from his fans in the past joking about how he was “always at the scene of the crime” with a screenshot of his like on a picture of the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. And while you tried to ignore it, you noticed of a pattern with all the girls. They looked a lot like the icons from your childhood. Nothing like you.

So now, late at night, when you were supposed to be having quiet and sweet moments with your boyfriend; your boyfriend that you didn’t get to see very often at that! You spent those moments thinking about those stupid likes on those stupid pictures of those stupidly beautiful girls.

And as for you, the comments had really gotten to your head. Even when you weren’t with Jack and you weren’t on your phone or in your childhood room. You still found someone to compare yourself to. It was like some kind of superpower.

and i bought all the clothes that they told me to buy

i chased some dumb ideal my entire life

and none of it matters and none of it ends

you just feel like shit all over again

Was this silly? It feel silly.

This didn’t feel like you but a change was needed.

Jack (and Luke) had been hanging out with the team all day and you had the day off. You had decided to spend the time alone shopping for clothes that you would’ve never worn before this past month and a box of blonde hair dye.

“We’re home!”

Luke’s voice rang through the apartment, snapping you out of your trance that you were in while staring out the box of hair dye taunting you on the bathroom counter.

“Y/n?” Now it was Jacks voice that made its way through the apartment.

“Bathroom!”

You could hear his footsteps come closer to the bathroom door before a knock on the door, hesitating before opening the door before him. He slipped in before locking the door behind him.

“I was gonna jump in the shower if he wanted to join me.” Jack told you, his hands sliding around your waist with his back to the door. Naturally, your hands slipped around to rest behind his neck, forgetting about the hair dye sitting on the counter.

“I think I’m gonna have to pass this time—”

“You’re gonna dye your hair?” Jack cut you off, his eyes focused behind you.

“Oh- Yeah, I just, um, wanted a change I guess.”

Jack didn’t say anything or take his eyes off of the box of hair dye. He didn’t buy it for a second but he just didn’t understand. How could you not see how beautiful you were. Jack had known the comments were bad, he just didn’t realize they were getting to you this badly. He looked back to you, who had a guilty look in your eyes. Jack sighed before moving you over to the counter, placing you next to the box.

“Baby, if you really want to dye your hair blonde; go for for it. But I don’t think you want to.” You couldn’t even look at him. You felt embarrassed that you’d been confronted about how out of hand these insecurities have gotten, even if it wasn’t really your fault. You felt like a child being scolded. “I know we’ve talked about this before but you really have to listen to me this time okay, babe?”

Jacks hand came up to your chin, gently pushing your head up to make eye contact with him.

“You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. I mean that. All those assholes just want to find someone to hate more than themselves and I’m sorry that dating me has made you a target for that. But blonde hair dye isn’t gonna make them stop. I’ll say something— I should’ve said something sooner but I’ll do it now. Just- Just don’t change for them because they won’t ever be happy. Pretty isn’t pretty enough for them, okay?”

You were crying now. Because you knew he was right and you were upset you had let them drive you crazy. You continued to cry as your boyfriends arm came around your frame. You uttered apologies, not quite sure for what, while his hand rubbed your back.

After a while, your tears stopped and Jack pulled away. “I love you. And I told you, if you really want to go blonde, go for it. I mean, you’ll look hot either way—”

“Jack!”

“Okay, okay. Blonde or no blonde.” He asked with a small smile on his face, holding up the box of hair dye.

“No blonde.”

Jacks smile grew as he threw the box into the trashcan. His hands slid down to your thighs, picking you up and wrapping your legs around his waist.

“So… can we get that shower now?”

[artistnerd24]

Sending this to people in the fandom i appreciate....... Thank you for all you've done for this community. Thank you for helping me stay positive and making me smile with your posts and reblogs and comments. I appreciate you being in this fandom and I understand if you're no longer able to be with the circumstances, but I enjoyed your company on the ride. I wish you all the best, regardless of what you do. Please know you're loved and appreciated. Remember to drink water and do what makes you happy. <3

Awwwwww Roseyyyyyy 😭😭😭😭😭😭 WHY ARE MY MUTUALS ALL SO SWEET, I DONT DESERVE YOU GUYS 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

You’ve and all of my moots been the exact same thing to me, beams of sunshine that still gave me hope in the fandom and even though we had just suffered a great loss, seeing you guys and the whole fandom being there for each other made me realize how strong this community is and that there will always be hope no matter what goes wrong :3

Tbh, I am just sad now but I don’t think I’m planning on leaving yet. Hiatus probably, but permanently leaving? I don’t know if I can force myself too. As long as there are the creators that I grew to love over this past year, I’ll still stick around. Besides, after Jaiden, Tina became my main (she never logs on though now so that’s why I’ve been just migrating around and watches different POVs) so as long as she’s on, I’m definitely on, and if she leaves, I have some backups, and my two babies were and have always been Chayanne and Empanada, so as long as Empanada is around, I’m not leaving my baby (I’ll talk about Chayanne in a later post but I’m still just processing what’s next 😅). Plus, fed lore and a bunch of other lore has now grabbed me and will never let me go, and I’m still a fan of other streamers and still have animatic ideas I never got around to cause of continuous art block :) All in all, I don’t think I’m going to ever completely leave, this fandom has helped me out through so much and especially my amazing moots like you so until everyone is gone and moved on, I think I’ll stick around from time to time :D

However this sucks that this happened literally 2 days before my one year anniversary of joining the fandom 😭 (in YT though, qsmpblr was in December so that’ll be a different celebration :D)

Again though, thank you so much for the message Rosey, it really made me smile. I think I’ll just watch some funny videos before going to bed and then sleep and hope that I won’t be a crybaby tomorrow at school and that I can process everything and figure out what to do next :D

Also LOOK I TRY TO DRINK WATER, I REALLY DO, BUT I DONT KNOW WHY MY PROCRASTINATIN BRAIN ALWAYS ENDS UP WITH ME ONLY DRINKING LIKE 2 GLASSES A DAY, I KNOW ITS UNHEALTHY BUT MY BRAIN ALWAYS THINKS ITS BORING AND WANTS TO MOVE ON, I DONT UNDERSTAND IT

[nerdyenby]

Pink time :D I’m watching Grian

Pregame

Instantly losing my mind /pos

The arm wiggle looks like his mouth opening lol

“This music is relatively annoying isn’t it?” I love Grian so much you guys

MCC Grian is a mess and I love that for him

I am so excited for this team, you guys don’t understand

Bingo But Fast

“Wait, this is real” Jojo 😭

Jojo is so confused lol, it’s okay queen you got this

I’m already confused on who I’m watching, I’ve watched both Jojo and Shelby’s streams the past couple weeks lol

The way none of them noticed the elytra

WHY IS IT ACE RACE MUSIC??!!?! IM STRESSED!! I didn’t even realize the first time round lol

Jojo just saying fuck under her breath repeatedly when half the team is pg is so silly of her

They’re all kinda in their own heads but that’ll get better as they find their flow

Grian sassing chat AS HE SHOULD

“How long til bingo again?” Life really is just a period of waiting between rounds of bingo, Lizzie’s right

“I wouldn’t count on anything being normal” Real and true Shelby

Battle Box

“You should crouch down so I can get on one shoulder, Lizzie can get on the other shoulder, then Shelby can jump on your back and you can just carry us, yeah?” So true Grian

“What if we die before that happens? Well, then we’d be dead” Lizzie my beloved

Lizzie catching that picks are better than the carrots is such a good call

Aw Lizzie just got absolutely mobbed

Eat the carrot, let the impulsive thoughts win

“I think people are targeting me” “I also suffer from success”

Comms are a bit sloppy but I believe

“A win is a win” Lizzie is so real today

MCC itself has a grudge against Lizzie, this is so sad

Hole in the Wall

“I’m ready to start playing better” You got this Jojo!!

A bit off topic but I think the MCC team did a phenomenal job balancing how much players knew before the event and how much was a surprise, there’s enough of both that it’s chaotic without being overly confusing and I think the did a great job

Bill Wurtz fan club over here :))

“I just got flung and I’m not sure I deserved it” snarky Grian is best Grian

“When you said ‘off the edge’ I took that literally” Lizzie my beloved <333

Jojo’s calls are ELITE

Survival Games

I was just vibing tbh

Oh my gosh that was so intense when the border stopped one block away

Lizzie hiding in the corner and winning, queen moves only

“I think you just got scuffed” so true Grian

“I can’t tell what’s intentionally scuffed or just wasn’t thought about” that’s the magic of MCC scuffed

If you don’t know, Grian and his community have been funding a school in Ghana during every event he’s participated in and it’s absolutely incredible, go check it out and donate if you’re able :))

TGTTOSAWAF

None of them actually taking a break is so them

Lizzie going to check in on Joel is so sweet

Jojo apolozing to Ranboo <3

Literally what killed Grian lol

Sands of Time

Sand daddy Shelby <333

Jojo taking charge AS SHE SHOULD!!!

The absolute PANIC of the false chimes 😭

“I’m never going down a tunnel ever again” Lizzie 😂

Grian mvp :))

The countdown starting and Shelby just saying “ignore that” is the level of confidence I need in my life

I didn’t even see the wardens the first time round, that’s terrifying

Wait when did the get green vault? Like I heard Lizzie found the key but I just didn’t notice them actually unlocking it lol

Big Sales at Build Mart

Shelby saying fuck with her entire chest is everything actually

Remember when she was a regular on a Disney show? Now she’s dropping f-bombs on pg streams, and I love that for her

“Where’s- Oreo??” Real

It IS in color Grian 😭

They popped off :))

Skyblockle

None of them even remembering skyblockle is so funny actually, skybattle is just infinitely better and more memorable

Grian just crying when Shelby says to bridge with slabs

“I’d rather poo in my hands and clap” GRIAN

“Anyone else just wanna jump off” Lizzie no

Yeah just build a house actually, you got time lol

Grian crafting a fishing rod, you got this king

He did not, in fact, got this

Shelby being so proud of/excited for Oli is everything

He DID crash and burn, I didn’t even realize 😂

Dodgebolt

Everyone’s still confused, just as it should be in MCC Scuffed

Oh yeah, it would be the first 1v4!!

“That’s my man” Lizzie and Joel are everything

Joel not getting the 1v4 and Lizzie’s “I still love him” “That’s good because if that did it for ya”

A win for the empires team is a win for all empires peeps, so true

The chicken infection was to torment Grian specifically, actually

[xiao-lantern]

rant on the g3nshin community + ship discourse. feel free to ignore xo. idk if i actually need to “censor” words on tumblr but i’m gonna anyway sorry /gen. “y’all” is used as a general “you” and not to anyone specific. also heterophobia does NOT exist don’t try to bring that bullshit here. also ETA this rant was made before the 4.2 archon quest

the g3nshin fandom as a whole has a HUGE problem with biphobia, and hypocrisy tbh. like other than the ob3y me fandom, i’ve never seen such blatant biphobia. your faves can be in a mlm/wlw ship and be bisexual. they can be in a het-passing ship and be bisexual. or t4t, etc.

like twt is a hellhole in itself, but it is MASSIVELY toxic and weird how some of y’all act about certain ships that aren’t even implied.

y’all will go on about how “amazing” rarepairs are if they’re wlw/mlm, and you’ll ship characters who barely or don’t even interact. and that in itself is NOT problematic!! i’m a rarepairs fan too.

but i literally saw someone mention how “gross” Focalors x Neuvillette is. even tho… they’re both grown adults, and Furina isn’t depicted like a child like Nahida (who is also hundreds of years old, but is shown as a child). like if you don’t see them romantically/see them more like family, that’s fine!! that’s valid!! but nowhere is it implied, hinted or outright said that they’re like/are family (like Diluc and Kaeya, Jean and Barbara, Albedo and Klee, etc.). so like,, What. please remember to differentiate your hcs from canon 😭 like i personally see Ganyu and Xiao as a family with Zhongli, but if you wanna ship them idrc. cuz they’re all pretty much the same age (fought together during the Archon War). like that’s a non problematic ship right there.

y’all shipped so many characters before they were even released (ex wriolette, chlorivia, which are valid in their own right btw), but how dare people ship Wriothesley and Chlorinde (for example) instead /sarc. like,, the two characters who DID have more screen time with each other than with their “fandom popular s/o” (Wriothesley is probably an exception tbh).

and again, the biphobia. if you don’t like m/f or het-passing ships, fine whatever that’s you. but to automatically assume we think a character is straight, or to ignore bi headcanons is just,, really weird. you don’t have to like or agree with them either, but to say “eww why did you make them straight” is just weird too 💀

this is not me trying to dictate what you can and can’t ship (if you’re a pr0shit then stay away obviously). this is just me ranting about the hypocrisy many g3nshin fans have :/

and don’t get me wrong, there’s a LOT of homophobia towards mlm/wlw ships too. but i’ve seen a recent rise in weird ass takes on non-problematic ships just bc you don’t like them… and while i am on the “just block and move on” side, some people DO go out of their way to leave behind weird comments when they don’t need to

[bisluthq]

well yeah she probably figured if he showed up to eras and finally set a wedding date, she’d get over the Matty thing. But then he didn’t show up and he didn’t set a wedding date so she peaced out.

This doesn't make any sense to me 😭 not after her telling us she was over Joe and crazy about Matty. Setting a wedding date wouldn't do anything. Why would she even want to marry Joe? Out of convenience? Taylor doesn't strike me as a person to get married with someone she doesn't love or wants to be with. That's also why I don't get why she was bitter over the marriage thing anyway. You didn't want to be with him anymore, you had someone else, why would you be offended if he doesn't want to marry or all around doesn't love you either anymore? None of it makes sense to me. Was she expecting to get married, keep Matty as a side affair when her and Joe fought and somehow both had to be fine with it?

I'm not feeling sorry for Matty or anything, but I wonder if at some point he was also like this woman says she wants to leave the relationship, but keeps stalling to do it, keeps going on holidays and on movie sets to be with him, is buying a house with him?? ...like realistically what is she doing exactly to prove she wants to leave this dude? idk I would be a bit confused. And if she didn't end up by leaving him, it kinda of seems like it could have been one of those situations where the commited person keeps promising you she will leave to keep you around, but in the end never does

yeah idk man I think feelings are complicated. I don’t think it was just convenience, I think it’s that she had planned out a future with Joe and I mean… she never really says anything awful about him so it’s kinda like… yeah she’d have married that nice boy even if he was a little withdrawn and whose flirty vibes made her jealous and shit because they had a house and pets and a life together. I don’t think she wanted to blow it all up. Obviously it’s good that she did, but I do think she was like “maybe this can work out in some way” yk? She really did plan on forever™️ with Joe dude. And again the thing is he didn’t do anything wrong tbh like he just was… who she needed back in 2016 and not who she needed in 2023 like that’s what happened there but of course it was confusing.

I also think all her songs on falling in love with him on Midnights were her trying to remember why she did love him or why she had loved him at one point. But life’s complicated and feelings are tricky beasts and yeah 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

finally like she did leave joe for Matty but maybe if Joe had set a wedding date she’d have blocked Matty idk.

[screampied]

good morning vegas :3 (in where i live now LMAO) how are you?? hope you’re enjoying your weekend :))

quick update about my friend yesterday.. i actually talked about it to her but uhhhh she kind of got defensive and she started blaming me for no reason?? and ended up blocking me as well.

She even told me that i’m starting to priotize my bf more than her 😭😭 idk what to feel about that though cause i always text her everyday and check up on her before and after i hangout with my bf, but i can’t help but feel guilty if she actually thinks i’m priotizing my bf more than her :( like i care for both of them as well, even ever since i started dating my bf i always texted her and tell her alll about my stories to her.

and we both actually hangout a few times before i need to move to another country </3 even though i’ve only known her for like 3 months, i sometimes see her as my own sister :(

BUT YEAHHH, idk 😞😞 i feel i kind of screwed up ngl 😭

-🩵 (once again, so sorry for the long rant)

HI 💛 !!! im okay, gonna take a break from writing to eat. currently watching twd hehe

my weekend’s good so farrrrr, just casually rotting in my bed. gotta finish up some assignments soon bleh

WOAHHHH REALLY? omg i kinda figured she’d do smth like that, i was hoping she’d be understanding but tbh don’t trouble yourself over it. it’s her loss, from what i’ve seen you’re really sweet !!! & if she has a problem w you expressing your opinions to her, then oh well.

don’t feel guilty, it’s not your fault. i think she’s saying that just out of spite since you mentioned that you daily check up on her. besides, you’re allowed to spend however as much time as you want with her and your bf. 🙋‍♀️ the fact that you care for both of them shows something.

remember you’re only one person, so don’t be too hard on yourself. i could see if you’re just ignoring her and spending lots of time with your bf — but you’re not, you're interactive with her and him so i can’t see why she’d say that. and oh !!! u mentioned u guys don’t even live in the same country … so, obviously if she isn’t close ofc u wouldn’t be able to spend much time w her

i understand tho !!!! i’m sorry she blocked u :( but don’t beat yourself over it, friends come and go throughout life and it’ll sting for a while but you’ll be okay 💛

[disco-tea]

20 questions for fic writers

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

23, but I have more/older stories on other sites

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

237,183

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, mainly btvs and I have an unfinished Arcane fic dying in my drafts

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Hiraeth (TF)

where the shadow ends (BTVS)

Brother Let Me Be Your Shelter (TUA)

the broken gates of kingdom come (BTVS)

skin like the sky at dusk (LOKI)

5. Do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I used to respond to nearly every single comment but rip I have been letting it slip lately 😭

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably I’ll Be Home For Christmas (If Only In My Dreams). It’s a Christmas story about Five Hargreeves stuck in the apocalypse

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Honestly probably The Art of Dying believe it or not 😂

8. Do you get hate on any fics?

I know for a fact I have gotten hate on fics but I straight up don’t remember it because I delete hate and then forget about it/block it out lmao

9. Do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Nope. The closest I’ve gotten was a non explicit “pan to the fireplace” sort of scene

10. Do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

Nope

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. Though I have written stories and then seen somebody else post a fic in the same fandom that was eerily similar to a scene I wrote.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! I wrote this Jason Todd fic when I was a teenager called Just Another Robin and it’s been translated twice!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not. I’ve thought about it, but I’m probably too much of a weirdo to successfully collaborate with

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

It changes depending on what I’m fixating on tbh 😭

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There’s like….nobody on this site who knows what I’m talking about but um. I got this fic called Hiraeth a lot of people really like. And I really do want to finish but it’s been so long and I’ve lost the muse/motivation for it. I’m really holding out that one of these days I’ll get a supernatural rush of inspiration and crank out like one final chapter for it

16. What are your writing strengths?

People say I do a good job at writing emotions

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Honestly probably that I’m too attached to my style and too sensitive about certain critiques. Which is why I’ll probably never want to write professionally because for me it’s more of an artistic expression

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think it’s good as long as it’s limited and you make sure it’s accurate and the reader knows what is going on anyway. My approach was that it should always be explained clearly later on or be an inconsequential fun little Easter egg for the reader to look up later

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Oh my gosh. My first fic was Supernatural 🫣

20. Favorite fic you've written?

where the shadow ends I think is my magnum opus at this point in my life. It’s novel length. It’s very emotional and important to me and really had a lot of real life feelings poured into it. It was so strangely woven into my life at the time I wrote it. It’s cathartic. It’s real. It’s a piece of my soul put on paper tbh. And that banner…oh my gosh. It was perfect and I’ll cherish it probably for the rest of my life

A runner up would be this multimedia fic I wrote during the pandemic and it was a fic told through a combo of text messages, pictures, videos, and chapter writing. I’m still v proud of it even though it’s very hard to share anywhere because of the format

[chosoguapo]

TW: DISCOURSE — TELLING THE TRUTH.

note: I don’t want to make anyone feel bad nor feel like they were wrong for defending someone they saw as a friend. i just want to clear the air since it seems like one side of this whole thing is being believed more than the other. so just saying this now, here i will be showing proof to backup @vilsoo claim of reni being on multiple accounts. also regarding this, i know nothing about the drama between like the rp accounts and other creators with reni. so that won’t be what this post is about. click read more to see the information.

okay so back in like March of 2021. i got this message from reni instagram account (which at the time i followed because of her edits, i believe). at this time reni made it seem like she’s never heard of like wattpad or the writing community at all. so i treated her as someone who had no knowledge about it at all.

now speed up to like a month or two. reni does a face reveal. now idk if y’all have ever been on Wattpad but there was this creator by the name of smutbunny-sage. I did not know her fr and didn’t talk to her (but I did interview her i believe). Before I even got to know her she got cancelled and reported. But when I interviewed her, she had this face reveal book. Now at the time I thought I was trippin, because reni and this sage girl looked exactly alike to me (from what I remember). so I was really confused as to why she made it seem like she’s never heard of wattpad or tumblr (or just the writing side of it). but i just brushed it off since I was 100% sure.

now i’m about to post two or three ss that are one of reni old accounts. okay so you cant see the name that she went by. but if you look at these graphics and the ones that reni have done with her themes. they look awfully alike. (also i think one of the icons is one that is in jes post, so it matches up). these ss below are from BEFORE she sent me that message. she was apart of a different friend group that didn’t get along with mines.

also for context the last ss is from when her (she went by something else and we weren’t friends) and one of my friends had a disagreement about their themes on wattpad being similar or lacking credit (with reni being the ones accused). the first one is from of her old accounts where she went by the name brattsmu when i originally dmed her but she later changed it to kazuwinx (again at this time i didn’t know this was sage and we weren’t friends).

okay now back to when reni made it seem like she’s never been on Wattpad or tumblr. i wanted to be nice and invited her to a gc with a bunch of my friends who are writers. just to have her know so people and gain some followers. alright so like a month or so after having her in the gc, I got dmed this by one of the members.

I won’t be including their @ in this since I don’t know if they are comfort with it. i will also be blocking out their names, unless they tell me they are cool with it. ignore the gc names 😭

alright now this ss is from when i kicked reni out the gc. me and her were still cool but a lot of my friend didn’t vibe with her like that. which I lied to her about and said that we was just kicking out inactive members.

okay to further prove that @vilsoo is not lying. i WONT be showing her face but I just want everyone to look at her hair.

the girl in this face reveal has locs just like reni does (ik not sure if you all have seen her face or not but i have. i was sent these as by someone who is still in her old server. but im sure she’s mentioned somewhere that she does have them. i think I’m the post she made about her age, you can see them in the corner.

before anyone asks about why I’m speaking up about this just now. tbh i had no idea ALL this drama was going around with reni. since tbh i don’t talk to a lot of you on here like that 😭 so I don’t know what friend groups she’s in and who’s she’s not cool with. but i got out of class and saw all this going down on the timeline. at first I thought it was jsut petty drama til I saw jes post. then reading all her info definitely confirmed the suspicions and things i initially said about reni. but chose to ignore since i didn’t have hard cold evidence that sage is reni and vice versa.

now, im not trying to cause drama nor do i want that. just trying to clear this up.

[seriouslysam8]

I am sorry that I made you justify for something that was your opinion❤️ (I am the one that asked you ages ago about your hate/dislike)

Normally, I don’t read Hermione bashing because people make her a real bitch that is after Harrys money and that doesn’t care about him, which I think is weirdly non-canon. So reading the MiT was kind of a suprise to me. It didn’t have the tag bashing and you were definitely NOT bashing her, but wrote her pretty boring, distant and cold.

I shouldn’t have asked you… like you said! Its YOUR story and YOU decide who has more „page time“ and who deserves to be written about. But instead of being an asshole and ignoring my ask you were so respectful and said so many reasonable points that I understood and accepted your opinion!

I don’t agree with all, but I understood and tbh I still read through all those one shots and multi chapters 😅 You write too good, to just stop reading your stories 😅

The only thing that I can suggest so people stop asking about Hermione is to write a post or just a disclaimer that this blog is an anti!Hermione blog without bashing

Because you really don’t bash Hermione, you just don’t write about her more.

I am so Sorry that you needed to write this rant, because you felt like justifying your opinion and hate again and again and again! But I am also glad you wrote it and didn’t shut up about it. Because nobody cares if someone hates Drarry, Wolfstar, a feminin Sirius(which is so weird.) a skirt wearing Sirius (I- wtf), those blogs that post about TOMARRY don’t need to justify their ships, people don’t ask about why someone hates Ron or Ginny or the whole Weasley clan (seriously noone). So you should have the right too, to hate a FICTIONAL character that is not REAL

Again I apologize for my noisy self!❤️

———

And just to annoy you, bc I really do love this blog snd the person behind it:

Why do you dislike percy Weasley?💀😭

(Pls take it as a joke, I rarely care about him😂💀)

I don’t want you to feel bad. Some people are genuinely curious, and those people (like you) bother me a lot less. Because I get it. She’s not normally a disliked character. But there are those of us who just don’t have any interest in her or don’t like her.

It’s just a question I get asked often.

You are so right. Nobody goes to an anti-Ron or Ginny or Weasley tumblr or story and ask why or to shit on the author. Or if Ron is put in the background as a friend and Hermione is portrayed as the bestie, nobody bats an eye. I think that’s what bugs me the most.

I had someone who would rant on my page anytime I said something even remotely negative about Hermione. I blocked their account and their second account so I don’t have to deal with it. Most times, people don’t really argue. But I get a lot of reviews and asks asking questions or people who are upset that I underutilize her. A lot of the time I just delete and ignore, not giving it any attention.

I just got a shitty anon review today that I ended up deleting ranting and raving at me because of Hermione in Brumous and saying my portrayal of Harry and Ron was awful. And I just had enough. And I needed to vent.

But honestly, I remember your ask and you were kind and respectful. I don’t mind questions. It just gets exhausting sometimes. More often than not, they’re not respectful.

I am just trying to establish some good boundaries. Some people in the fandom need to learn how to respect boundaries. That’s very, very important.

So, friends?!?

….

But

Don’t get me started on Percy!!

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

I understand the need for a callout for pjms that fetishize his feminine side and actually misgender him but now I’m seeing way too many pjms being reminiscent of darlinjimi on twt…(if u don’t know who that is it was a big pjm acc that constantly pushed the macho/alpha jm agenda and eventually unstanned him for austin butler. also dragged him and teamed up with jjks to drag pjms) like I do not want a repeat of that situation 😭. anyways the point being I think there’s weirdos on both sides pushing him to fit one agenda and they always wind up not actually caring abt him.

Yep I remember. I wrote about it when it happened:

I feel like lately this "hyper feminization" doesn't happen that much with Jimin, btw. And when it happens a lot, it's almost always a shipper.

It wasn't my intention to "callout" anyone; someone said "why do you think this happens" and I replied that it's because people are desperate for representation/validation. And I'd say it again.

I've also made fun of pjms that every week they go "omg he's so buff that's so sexy" because deep down they're waiting for him to show up one day looking like a Marvel actor on steroids. Jimin is never that buff. He doesn't really seem to like himself like that. And sometimes it happens because he has to work out, that's how he's able to be a performer, by working out and training his body and inevitably you gain muscle mass; but it's not like he goes to the gym thinking of bulking up. He said once in a live that he'd work on having a "prettier" body. What man says he wants to have a pretty body?? He could've used any other word, but he didn't.

I'm infinitely more comfortable talking about Jimin with other queer pjms, I'd like to make that clear. Even when I was active on pjm twitter, the pjms I talked with, were the gay ones. It's not like we talk about Jimin being lgbtq all the time either, but just that they were gay. I grew up around queer people, I've been out to everyone my age since I was 14 and to this day half of my close friends are queer; so I've always been more comfortable talking with other people who also thought Jimin's not straight, and are okay with acknowledging that.

That said, I still don't like extremes. Like, it's okay to call him (or other BTS) your girlfriend maybe ONCE, as a joke. But on every single tweet? Really?

On the other hand, yesterday or something, I saw a tweet made by an army that was like "here's a list of everyone misgendering the tannies so you can block them" and it's not THAT deep either like... 😭 just unfollow or block them yourself, but there's no need to put a target on their back like that.

[obsequence]

hi i hope this isn't weird askdjfksdksl, you seem to be much more active on twitter but i REFUSE to make an account on that website BUT a mutual of mine just said something to me about the idea of an au where the rattlers run like. an apocalypse gladiator ring instead and ellie eventually gets caught and stuck there with abby and this is just actually insane we can't believe no one else seems to have had this idea yet??????? my first thought was tell the only ellabs person i know of who is in any way active on social media idk you can tell twitter about this or whatever i just think you need to know. i think ellabs nation (ellabs village really lol) needs to consider the possibilities

1) come to twitter i promise it’s like not that bad i just get into fights a lot 😭

2) i have a new tumblr but it’s under a pseudonym because i’m literally writing x readers and i know people will clown me and think i’m doing it in the “y/n” way (nothing wrong with that) and not the “x readers are a great way to character study without making whole ocs and you’re able to share them with a large audience” way

3) honestly , i really hate fics that have like . anything to do with the rattlers . because they’re just , like , EXTREMELY miserable (hypocritical coming from me , i know) and i deserve a speck of dopamine every now and then . but i will spread the idea ! because tbh it’s pretty good and not done before . just not my thing

4) i’m going to take this as an opportunity to explain why the fuck tl2 isn’t out yet , but it’s going to be a very longwinded self-psychoanalytical bananza , sooo . .

so , tl2 isn’t going to be a multichapter , if it ever gets put out . it’s gonna be a really long oneshot , because if i post it , i want it to be FINISHED so i don’t leave anyone waiting again .

the reason why i have a mental block against writing it right now is because i’m really unhappy about where tl1 left off . i never really liked it honestly , i just felt a bit pressured to get it out asap so i could be done . i reread the first few chapters all the time , and i really consider that its peak , because it started to feel like a chore after chapter six .

it’s hard to write the sequel to something you don’t like . it feels like you can only disappoint (if not others , yourself) and expand on its horribleness , which sounds so melancholy , i know , lol , but it’s the truth . like , how do you fix what’s broken on something you can’t touch ? by adding more that’s broken ? nuh uh . it’s a lot of stress .

also , i just . . need a creative recharge . “spencer , it’s been like five months since you finished tl !!” no i mean like . a year . before i even poke it with a ten foor pole again . LOL it’s that bad . this might change , but that’s how i feel right now .

i’ve been really insecure about my work lately , and i’ve never been able to read original novels or other fics without feeling incredibly envious of others’ talent , and it has sowed a lot of discontent inside of me . so i stopped consuming others’ work for a bit , but that just left me uninspired and in an echo chamber of my own writing without any improvement , so it became hyper-stylized and odd to read , especially months later . i don’t even know what i was trying to accomplish at some points ?? it’s all very odd and tryhard and makes me cringe .

so , right now , my goal is to read more published work lol . i’m reading my childhood favorite “daughter of smoke and bone” right now , and it’s even better than i remember . highly recommend

but yeahhh that’s why tl2 isn’t out sorry 🌸🩷🩷💕🥺🥺🥺

(but like fr i am incredibly sorry)

[seaweedbraens]

i originally wasn’t gonna read wcwsthwas until it was finished but last week i gave in. and i absolutely love your writing so much you provide for us in ways we will never be worthy of. i’m frothing at that mouth after that much needed percabeth fight and you actually got me to SOB when zoe and jason died because the scenes were just too powerful. i didn’t even care about jason in hoo but reading your fic made me sad about his death 😭 also so looking forward to them realizing that which of the big three kids are heroes of the prophecy i wonder how rachel’s gonna communicate that. i cheered when nico showed up !!! you write the characters so well and i always loved how you don’t ignore the fact that they’ll all clash sometimes and can’t be perfect friends all the time you’ve always been so good about that (especially in if i fell tbh that was the first time i remember you writing character conflicts and you did it so well).

can’t wait to see annabeth’s perspective of the fight + everyone’s reaction to percy leaving. how is she supposed to get an army ready to fight when she doesn’t even know if percy will show up???

omg if youre read if i fell then you're an OG from ffnet holy shit thank u for sticking around for so long!!! and im so so glad you like the fic, especially the death scenes because i was suuper nervous about those. i like exploring character dynamics a lot, especially between characters not in a romantic relationship, which is why you'll sort of see a lot of interesting interactions between charactrs, which i'm glad you enjoy! although, i gotta admit, the percabeth fight has been one of my favorite scenes to write, like, ever.

annabeth's in for a lot of self reflection next chapter. like you said, she's got a lot on her plate right now, and she's finally dealing with a lot of her internal blocks about the ay she feels about luke and percy. she'll learn to trust her own judgement again and she becomes a better leader and a better person because of it. i can't wait!

ty for the support ily <3

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP, I feel like Hybe hasn’t been taking care of the optics of their business. They’ve been weathering a lot of controversies non stop this year from karmys to iarmys (gp and kpop fand in general too tbh) and now they’ve priced the Proof Collectors ed for almost 300 usd. It feels like any time now, ARMY is going to blow up 😭 like, I don’t know wtf they’re PR/marketing department is doing.

I’m broke so there was never any chance for me to buy this or their other merch but I don’t even think a lot of Armys except for the richest can comfortably drop the money for this, especially since the fotobooks are still ongoing…

**

Hi Anon,

Let's laugh a little first:

(A $300 repackage of an anthology album. I wonder if anyone reading my blog still remembers my rant about the BE Essential money grab album. It's not random that the byline of this blog is: "A fun place to watch the fandom implode.")

*

Anon, I agree with you.

I don't want to ramble on in a long-form post filled with links and sources etc, and someone has asked me a similar question before, so I'll repurpose some of that answer into this to explain how (1) on one hand, the nature of most 'controversies' HYBE/Big Hit has weathered this year are such that no amount of PR etc would matter.

Like for example, even for the Vegas concerts when HYBE invited several journalists for the press conference in the US, offering a blanket invitation to every news outlet in Korea so no broadcasters were favoured and HYBE covered transit and other expenses for journalists equally.. The very first thing Juwon Park (a k-journalist with ties to YG) tweeted about it, was a link to an antitrust whistleblower website while 'thinking out loud' that HYBE's actions were illegal (they weren't). She deleted that tweet after two of her own colleagues told her it's not and asked how she as a journalist wouldn't know that and asked why she would pose such an incendiary legal question to fans on Twitter.

This is the same journalist who the first thing she tweeted about Proof was questioning the inclusion of Filter on the album and incorrectly asserting Bobby Jung was solely responsible for writing the song.

This is also the same journalist who the first thing she tweeted in response to news of BTS visiting the White House to talk about racism and hate crimes towards Asians and Asian Americans, the first thing she said on the matter was assert that BTS had no right to speak on the subject given they have never gone to the Blue House in Korea to advocate against discrimination. She blocked ARMYs carefully responding to her concerns and retweeted ARMYs calling her a Cardi B lyric.

Should we talk about BTS's 2022 Festa Dinner, where Korean journalists had no excuse of 'wrong subtitles' to explain how they blatantly mischaracterized everything BTS said. Because BTS were crystal clear in Korean, they never indicated they’re disbanding, they simply reversed priorities, and yet, k-media managed to get every single point wrong. K-media went on so many tangents my mom called me within hours laughing about the headlines. A lot of the k-media reports were blatant fabrications. It’s why RM’s letter on Weverse the following day was written so strongly - there was naked malicious intent in the way many media reports went, and the schneduafraude towards the group (for something many other groups have announced without incident) was palpable.

The point is, several of the controversies faced by the brand/company are entirely manufactured and maintained by a hostile press environment that's also lucrative. And let's not pretend k-pop stans are fans of anything connected to BTS anyway.

In the case of the 2022 Festa Dinner for example, one criticism I can give to the company is that perhaps HYBE underestimated the need for a written statement or the need to do damage control (because BTS were crystal clear in Korean - nothing needed clarifying for the media and yet), but I’ve written before how k-media is typically uncharitable towards BTS, to the point that media commentators and music critics in Korea including Kim Young-dae, have noticed that trend and talked about it.

There's also the fact that many industry insiders still view HYBE as an outsider that must be dethroned - and that's not an exaggeration but me paraphrasing a real Korean investor research report on k-pop companies. So in addition to typical bad quality control, there’s real business interest in creating the impression of incompetence and all that at HYBE, regardless of what the facts actually are.

The fact is Hybe/BTS do not fully have the privilege their position should in theory afford them, meaning that anything positive they do is underplayed, and any negative thing they do is overblown. Even a decent PR firm would fail in this situation. At the same time the company itself has legitimate (in my opinion at least) issues.

This is all on one hand.

*

(2) On the second, HYBE in general gives me the impression of a company that has grown too big too quickly. The fact Jimin’s mail was stolen and leaks have only gotten more prevalent since LY Tear, tells me that quality control is a bigger problem now despite the team supposedly having more resources. I understand the business rationale behind the hasty acquisitions in 2020/21, but sometimes, during M&A due diligence, quality control issues slip through the cracks and hurt the acquiring company later on. Not all of HYBE's subsidiaries are run as well as Big Hit with BTS, and many of these companies have legacy k-pop staff and cultures, meaning some of the endemic problems in the industry are more likely to be found in these companies as well.

HYBE also buys into the philosophy that greed is good. A $300 Collectors album is reasonably priced for a group like BTS imo. But, not to repeat my rant about the BE essential album, this particular album is a 'collectors' album... of an anthology album... which is in itself an artist-selected collection album... and it will not count for charts, explicitly at the label's request. Lol.

*

I've said before I'm not the sort of hobbyist that collects things, so this album never held any appeal for me. I'm also not going to even attempt justifying another person's purchases of fan material (for the people who do buy this album) because that's an absurd thing to do. It's their money - good luck to them. I think people are going to do what they always do: buy it if they want and not buy it if they don't. Despite all the chatter and discourse about fans burdened/pressured to buy merch, everybody just ends up doing what they want anyway. As I said to another anon who asked about HYBE's merch prices, expect more things like this, because BTS is now at a level that these economic choices are possible.

...

I agree an exceptional PR team wouldn't hurt, but so long as the boys themselves are fairly insulated from this, I don't mind seeing corporates put on the spot. I like seeing the bigwigs squirm. HYBE has serious issues they need to fix and should know this is a commonly held opinion.

[neowinestainedress]

i’m better now just super sad but yesterday i was completely soaked like my hair had so much water that i had to twist it (i don’t know how to say that in english😭) to take the excess of. my ults are the boyz and nct but i liked all the groups too so before the concert they put their music videos while we waited and i singed so loud and when the boyz performed (they were the first) i screamed EVEN louder so after they finished i had no voice so my throat hurts now but i hope i don’t get sick since i had to wear my wet clothes for almost 5 hours.

at the end when the idols explained that the show was cancelled and i saw dream i was so amazed by their beauty like they really are just so beautiful and handsome and perfect like??? i don’t remember that much since the end of the show is all a blurry to me (not me blocking this traumatic experience) but i can remember jeno having a worried face, renjun being sweet and giving pepero to the fans and jaemin smiling so big and waving at us and chenle didn’t smiled that much and kept a serious face but i was so shocked at his beauty like i ofc i knew he wasn’t ugly at all but i was NOT prepared to see how handsome he is. and for jisung i don’t remember anything about him like at all idk why 😭 and i must say i didn’t find jeno to be that big (in body terms) in comparison of what i read from past fans experiences and none of them were tall (at least compared to the other groups sjdhskxj) but i swear their faces were sculpted like they are not real they are actually a play of my imagination and yesterday was just a dream (or a nightmare tbh).

im trying not to be too sad about it but i’m just so disappointed at the production why did they make the idols apologize and explain the situation you could see on their faces they were sad too :(

also i saw that fansites were saying that people treated them badly and im shocked at how much they lied… im not trying to justify the racist comments that they received because that’s not acceptable and the people who said and did all that horrible stuff need to be held accountable and apologize. but i also want to explain about the other things: fansites were so entitled and they acted as if they were better than us and needed an special treatment just because. they pushed us and were rude in general. the worst part is that stan twitter already took a side and they are blaming chilean fans now when not all of us acted like that. plus even if they are not actually ssg (i doubt it honestly cause why are you doing at the other side of the world just to take pictures?) they were stalking the idols and took their big ass cameras even tho it was not allowed and the organizer told us hundreds of times ahead of the show. i even saw that one of them said that someone cut their hair like?? they even took our water bottles even tho they were supposedly allowed so how could they cut their hair when they checked or bags and clothes to make sure we didn’t have any dangerous objets? and security did that to ALL of us

but anyways i hope the idols don’t hate us too much and will give us another chance :( also i cried reading jaemin’s letter he’s so sweet and caring 😭

- 💌

i really hope you won't get sick, five hours are so much, i can only imagine how exhausted you must've felt :( at least you could see the boyz perform one good thing in all this mess.

every time someone says that they are even more beautiful irl i die a little GOD WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN??? i felt the same when i saw 127 but i get shocked anyway and i need to see ALL of them. i saw the videos and yeah, they seemed worried but i can only imagine how they must've felt, after the flight and the preparation just for this to happen, also after what happened in korea i'm sure they were also afraid some accidents were going to happen due the weather. they are my small kings idc, you don't need height when you were sculped by god. also i think that chenle shocked you because usually the fandom never talks about his beauty??? like as you said he's not ugly but his beauty is not spoken a lot and it gets overshadowed by his voice and the other members so you don't expect it

but seriously, i hate when these things happen because not only they put everyone's safety at risk but as you said, then the idols have to apologize for something they had no control over.

i'll be honest i didn't understand anything, i saw some tweets of a fansite but i don't know what to believe. for my experience i can tell it's true they feel entitled and push a lot to get better spots, it happened in paris (in this case fansites, not ssngs) and also when jaehyun came to milan, all the people pressed against him outside of the prada shop were sasangs and they still blamed us (i wasn't there anymore but i mean italian fans) so i'm not surprised this time is happening the same thing. i just wish companies blacklisted them because most times people call everyone a sasaeng without a proof (mostly mistaken people because except for some, we don't know what they look like) and it's a mess. it ruins everyone's experience and it sucks. and in this case the worst thing is that i've seen racism from all sides and whoever people want to believe it's sad to end up like that. like even if someone was rude why do you have to be racist? i don't think people would gain something from lying online saying they have been called slurs (i'm talking about chilean fans in this case). i don't even understand why they still bring their cameras when they know they can't, also if you said that they controlled everyone why did they say they only checked up on them???

this concert was a mess i hope next time nothing will happen and i'm sure idols don't hate the fans, the ones to blame are the organizers, also i've read that they knew before about the weather but decided to ignore it??? anyway yes, jaemin is a sweetheart, the only thing i can tell you is to try to cherish the good things that happened (you saw your ults groups) and maybe next time they will come back with their own tour so it will be even better

[iheartlife555]

I’m so happy today! I know this feeling will last and I’m grateful for it now and forever srsly! it feels so good to know that my existence is pure, unfiltered love. my very being, my core is LOVE. it feels good to know what i want is mine and it’s mine for a reason:

because it wants ME! i’m a vibrational match for all my desires already ain’t nothing i gotta do to be those things or have those things bc they’re already mine 🥴 why did it take so long for me to internalize this fact! ? am i slow?😐 i think i might be.

i’m actually kinda shook that i’m destined for so much success like how am i supposed to handle being so iconic?? i’m literally going to be THAT girl, can i handle that pressure😭😭i know i can bc duh, but yooooo wtf my life is destined to be SO perfect some people will hate me for it😳😳zero flaws, zero stress, perfect face perfect body perfect husband perfect lifestyle perfect habits perfect children omg perfect everything like i just know that people are gonna insist i’m a fraud 😣😫

might as well accept those antis now, we live in a society where Beyoncé has haters i guess it’s just a part of life and being perfect doesn’t mean everyone will wanna bask in my glory…and tbh i get it, not everyone wants to be or even know they can be literally flawless and transcend the perceived limits of humanity so when they see someone that’s got it like that, they think it’s too much. fuck ‘em tho!

damn the universe really put my life in limbo until i could understand this, huh? like i’ve been isolated and i thought it was bc Versa was punishing me for my negative habits and patterns but it’s bc everyone and everything was sick of me not fulfilling my role of GODDESS. 😭 Like I srsly wasn’t in my bag i wasn’t living my purpose i thought i was serving but looking back i was just not doing what i’m here to do and not being who i’m supposed to be omwwwww. I fell off the track to greatness bc I was worried people would be intimidated and hate me but I’m over making myself small so people can be comfy around me 🤣

no hate to past me everything she did got me to this point like I’m thankful i fell off MAJOR bc Im not supposed to be average (if someone else is reading this, you’re not supposed to be either) and to be honest a bunch of shit i wanted last year is so trifling to me now I understand why they never came to pass like my dna and my superconscious knew better forrreeeeaaaaal bwahaha i remember thinking “damn i know i’m hot why are my dms dry” and now ik it’s bc i lowkey knew…deep down in my heart….that i don’t rate these boys in my country💀🥴 i was just trying to feed my ego at the time and universe said nooo pls we can’t fulfill your majesty, you’re on another level. damn! even w my living situation i see now that i’m the one blocking my parents from finishing the house (on a vibrational level ofc) bc in my mind we deserve an entire private estate so the universe is just like “😗….do i let them finish construction here or are you still deciding wtd queen?” daaaaaamnnn on top of that i had a bunch of limiting beliefs about money like i knew deep down i can manifest it out of thin air but it’s been so drilled into me that I NEED to provide service/product to make it. now i’m like ??? why and who taught me tha- ohhhh old people w limiting beliefs running so deep and wide they don’t even wanna be told the truth they call you devil worshipper if you were to tell them all you need to do is think it to be it even thought that’s what all the religious texts say🙄why do people wanna suffer so bad? 😭 begging and begging and begging for things they already have! i know for some peoples situations are bad because from jump they were just bombarded with horseshit limiting beliefs and some have been born into systems designed to oppress humans and for those people i pray everyday that that shit is lifted from them and they prosper in every sense of that word but for the person reading this right now 🤨🤨🤨 MOVE OUT YOUR OWN WAY DUMMY YOU BLOCKING YOUR BLESSINGS FOR NO REASON LIKE YOUR MANIFESTATIONS ARE WAITING STOP BEING HOT AND COLD W YASELF !!!!

anyways, i realize the main thing that was holding me back is guilt like i was like “how can i say i want to live a life of opulence and extreme wealth when someone out there is starving rn” 🤣🤦🏾‍♀️ will worrying about them not having food manifest food for them? jfc i used to be so…just so. 💀 “i can’t be too smart or people will feel bad about their own intelligence” “i can’t be too beautiful or i will make others feel bad” “i can’t be too nice bc people will think i’m trying too hard to be something i’m not” wooooooaaaaah and all these thoughts started happening around 14 or 15 and i was starting to see that people were really out here struggling struggling with so so much that i felt bad for having a great life…🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏽‍♀️i really am an angel, my mental health deteriorated bc i was stressing about other people’s quality of life…i was a stupid angel though bc if i knew then what i knew now i would’ve just blessed their situations instead of staying up late and fucking up MY shit bc i wanted to be emo about the political and economic state of the world 💀 took me too long to realize the helpless can’t help for shit i gotta get mine so i can put other people that haven’t had the blessing of being this spiritually magnificent onto how to have it all😌 and that’s just what i’m doing right now! if you’re someone that’s decided to read my ramblings up for whatever reason, have you not had some sort of revelation of your own? an aha moment springing up on you? have you not had that feeling of “ugh! i can’t believe i used to do that” ??? 🤣 i bet you have. if you haven’t you will, i have planted that seed, trust! and you will start to unravel those gross limiting beliefs and recognize thought patterns that are blocking what’s divinely yours. and you will wipe your ass with those thought patterns and flush ‘‘em out with the rest of the bullshit that’s not for you.