#tbh im not sure if this qualifies but better be safe than sorry

[just-eyris-things]

⚔️ for Yvrel and/or Airell depending who you want to talk about 🤩

you know what?

CONTENT WARNING: dismemberment, loss of limb

When it comes to Yvrell, he loses his right leg twice. The first time is when he still works with Scarlet. He loses it when the Breachmaker is falling apart - it gets crushed under the weight of collapsing machine. The second time is when he is pulled out of a blighting pod and it grows back corrupted. Yvrell claims that to stop the corruption they need to cut it off before Mordremoth's influence reaches further.

As for Airell - we know that he is a bard. But did you know he writes his own songs? One of the very first ones he has written is the one about one of many of his Itzel brothers who has eaten a firefly and its glow could still be seen within his stomach for days after.

[mischiefmanifold]

i want to be the most respectful that I possibly can. I apologize if this seems kinda vent-ish. I don’t want to call myself a system out of respect for people with osdd and DID but since im not sure what other terms could better describe them, ill put them in quotations.

I DEFINITELY have trauma. The worst of it i don’t remember, but my trauma definitely obstructs my ability to be normal, healthy, and maintain any kind of relationships. I am also certain that I have BPD.

When i was younger, I faked having DID. I feel guilty about it, but its hard to even say I ‘faked’ it. I created my “alters” consciously, knowing they were going to be alters, which is not how DID works. I originally had no amnesia, but after a while i did experience some, but mostly it was emotional amnesia.

also basically forcefully “integrated” my “alters” after I confessed that I was faking, although it took probably months to do so fully.

I stopped faking because i felt guilty for identifying myself that way, but being a “system” made me feel comfortable in myself. I was more productive, and I suffered less. If i were to describe it, it would be like… I manually gave the disorder to myself because my brain didn’t, but it worked effectively and similarly like it would have in someone else

I generally feel like a conglomeration of nothingness, but when i separated myself, things were just more normal for me, or for us all as individuals.

Ever since i stopped faking, I felt that horrible way. Although I feel bad about it, I gave myself “alters” a while ago and I did it (semi) consciously. I remember it. I know its not genuine DID or OSDD but its coping and its working, and I feel more like an actual human and individual instead of fear and depression itself.

So i have two questions, which im not going to force you to answer. (Because a. you’re not a psychiatrist and you might not feel qualified…? Idk and b. Its kinda my personal problem tbh so you aren’t required)

What do I do? In don’t want to disrespect everyone with OSDD and DID because i can technically choose to have these “alters” but if i choose not to, I have to suffer and dissociate more.

Is it okay if i call myself a system and call my “alters” alters? I want other people, or at least my friends to call me and my “alters” by their names.

Once again, I apologize. This went on longer than i thought it would. You can ignore this if you want, i just didn’t know who else to ask.

Hi, anon.

I’m not sure how to answer this question, to be honest. I feel like, if you were functioning better as a system maybe it’s worth considering that you actually DO have DID?

What you described is very similar to our experiences (we discovered the system, started working together and doing well, then the host had a breakdown and forced the alters away which made our dissociative symptoms worse). Another possibility is that you may have been exaggerating the schemas in BPD and “forcing” them to be like alters.

Either way, dissociative symptoms seem to be a big problem for you and with that in mind I would suggest that you work on lessening your dissociation as much as you safely can. I don’t know your therapy situation, but if you can please do this with a professional.

I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful, but feel free to send in more asks if you need clarification or have more questions!

[fractalsuggestions]

unreality can be a trigger? do you know how does it trigger people? Sorry if the question is dumb, just curious!!

im pretty sure the main thing is unreality can trigger or worsen delusions? i dunno if im the person to ask tbh, sorry!! i might overuse the warning tag because sometimes it's hard for me to tell what qualifies so better safe than sorry yknow

if anyone knows better than i do feel free to add on or correct me!! ^^"