#tbh. they werent even that toxic

[magenta-somethings]

the toxic doomed old woman yuri of navaniel... brandon sanderson truly is an ally

[florvaine]

tbh im losing my will to write bc all the cc's that i used to watch/did watch have been revealed to be terrible people that no part of me can support.

this is gonna be a bit of a rant of everything i stand on during this

support, send love and stand with shelby, alice, caiti, lexie, em, andi, moonzy and others taking a stand and finally showing the true colours of these 'men'. at the same time support, send love and stand with others that came out/were forced to talk about their experiences with this topic before such as cellbit, jack and niki. also show love for those standing up with the victims and supporting them no matter what - aimsy, billzo, max, ranboo, harry, etc. etc.

NOBODY who supports people like wilbur, illumina, george, sapnap, dream, punz, draggie and other 'influencers' who use their platforms for these horrific actions is welcome on my blog. i do not care if youre 'waiting for a response' - you have picked a side by doing that, whether you'd like to hear that or not, and it is not the victims. these 'men' are R4PISTS, ENABLERS, ABUS3RS, R4CISTS and GLORIFIED N0NC3S.

THIS ISNT DRAMA. the things these 'men' are saying theyve been revealed of doing - not accused, accused means 'claiming someone has done something wrong' - in this situation it is FACTUAL. the experiences these women have gone through do not deserve to be watered down to just 'internet drama' or 'twitter drama'. these 'men' have done ILLEGAL ACTS and deserve to rot behind bars for getting off on the manipulation, abuse and exploitation of these women, and i hope they get the justice they deserve for their actions.

a common thread between the majority of these cases is the theme of consent and alcohol. seems like the british attackers werent there for the tea video. the moment someone has alcohol in their bloodstream, they cannot consent. whether they have had one drink or 20, or if both parties are drunk, there is not consent. if there is not a clear, uncoerced, uninfulenced and solid 'yes' then there is not consent and it is assault/r4pe. this is not my opinion, this is THE LAW.

it is not your fault if you 'couldnt tell'. with wilbur, yes, he frequently used the 'tragic artist' role in his songs, but at the time it was said BY HIM to be a character, this is supported by his e-girl trilogy and the fact he said himself he was PLAYING an incel character. he is a manipulator, and the rest of the 'men' are liars too. they all sat behind screens showing a version of themselves best suited to gathering fame, and didnt feel bad about flipping completely when the streams or cameras turned off. HOWEVER, it is YOUR FAULT if you still support the 'men'. people saying 'he saved me' or 'he wouldnt do this' - MOTHERFUCKER HE JUST DID?? HELLO?? yes, it can be hard letting go of someone/something you loved, but it has to be done. i didnt want to get rid of a barbie when i was younger because playing with it made me happy, but i did anyways and guess what? i got over it. you do not know these 'men'. YOU ARE NOT LOSING A REAL LIFE FRIEND, YOU ARE LOSING A TOXIC, PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIP.

for the (few) people who might see this and go 'whyre you so pressed' - i have experienced my own trauma in the past and that is all i will say, i do not owe it to you to go into full miniscule detail about what happened. hearing all the people i grew up watching doing the same things that i have and still am effected by today makes me feel sick, that isnt a metaphor either, it brings up bad memories and makes it even harder to detatch yourself from these situations. these 'men' have done irreversible actions. whilst it may have given them a sick minute of pleasure, it has haunted and traumatised these women for the rest of their lives. they are only 'apologising' or 'addressing' their actions because they do not want to lose their platforms. since the start their fans have only been a number, and the second that number drops they get all panicky and try do all the damage control they can. DO NOT SUPPORT THESE 'MEN'. SUPPORT THE VICTIMS. caiti shelby alice lexie em andi moonzy

i think im done with my rant. more might have to be added idk tho. bye bye

[spicybylerpolls]

while people are on the topic of finn, a little appreciation for our will byers' actor! noah!

i feel like he could have turned out like a model or something, if you see when he was younger, he was all in proportion and like very pretty boy, a traditional, good looking young man. but now thats he's older and grown into his features a little more - he's not entirely there, that wont happen until they finish growing at like 25 ish, but he is more oddly proportioned now in a nice way. he's EVER so slightly chubbier. he's also mega goofy, but in a different way to finn (although not THAT different actually). he gets away with it more cos he's still handsome in a traditional western way except for the obvious jewish features that im sure lots of bigots hate (see all the toxic milevens on twitter). his teeth are kinda goofy but also cute, but it's his smile that does it. it's kind of contained and shy, down-turned as though he has internalised not wanting to smile too widely, or perhaps just feeling shy and bashful when he's happy. which is VERY will. i think they are more similar than he let's on tbh. i think he's secretly a shy one, just like when he was a kid.

whereas finn seems to burst with light and laughter, then sudddenly realise he's in public and become self conscious again, and his face just turns sour af lmaooooo bless him

mad props to the casting director tbh - these are two performers with faces that are endlessly mesmerising, and acting skills to match. i feel so grateful to be watching their portrayals of this story unfold in real time. the fact that it may break new ground is a bonus, but even if fit doesn't, i've had a ball for the past couple of years! if nothing else, having their first adult scene together could work wonders for their professional confidence. if i was a pro actor, i would love to do an intimate scene with a close friend of mine, we would have a ball and the trust would be unreal.

and lastly, here's a funny little story...

years before i joined the fandom proper in 2022, when s2 was just coming out, my friend (who was very mainstream) showed me some pictures of a photoshoot with noah and finn. we were in our early 20s, fresh from college and no clue what to do with life. and my friend showed me this black and white photoshoot on insta (i think its the one noah recently posted to show his excitement of working with finn again for finn's birthday?), and she was quiet as i looked, waiting to hear what i would say.

and i was like... they look....

*massive pause while I look at her, incredulous and mildly disturbed*

and she said '... hot.'

and I was like YES, WTFFFFFFF

and she was like WTFFFFFF

and we were so uncomfortable and confused! they were young teens! but the fact that it was my mainstream friend who had literally just discovered the 80s through this show, who had a first class English degree from Edinburgh university, who had just started working at a prestigious publishing house in the city, who had a rather gorgeous boyfriend... i mean she was the most down-the-line person you ever met. and i was just so surprised and grateful she had trusted me to say this, and we proceeded to discuss wtf was going on.

basically - photoshoots, esp when the cast were teens, kind of passively sexualised them. im not talking explicit, but rather encouraging pensive brooding stares and poses that are something you would see in a couture magazine. they looked older because they werent smiling, and were emulating these poses that adult men would do.

on top of that, finn esp really reminded me of the first boy i ever had a proper crush on at 13. i remember it so clearly because its not the hair or the skin or whatever superficial stuff, but rather his expressions and attitude (and the freckles). finn, when younger, had this arrogant (and therefore irresistible) teen boy vibe which exactly matched this boy i fell in love with at 13. i realise now that thats all probably from a place of insecurity on finn + the boy's part, but even at 22 sitting in this cafe with my friend, browsing insta innocently, i could remember exactly what it was like to be 13 and my heart was just beating. whenever i think of that crush on that boy, i am 13 again. i am not a grown woman perving on a young boy. i am 13.

so i think, maybe, thats how many of us here connect with spicy byler tumblr.

and now, of course, watching them grow up on my screen (having rejoined the fandom post s4) has been a very... interesting experience for me. i think byler sex discussion on here speaks volumes about how we are all from different walks of life. if i wasn't an art major who has literally been drawing naked bodies from life since I was 16 at school, and a psychology student, i might not understand how to discuss all this stuff. as it is, i've got too much emotional education under my belt, and i know how to embrace my shadow self as long as im not hurting myself or anyone else. (vecna would take one look at me and say NOPE lol.)

sorry for the ramble! thanks for hosting me.

p.s. sadly im not friends with that girl anymore, but this will always be a legacy of our friendship (plus the fact that she was so grateful for my pre-existing knowledge of 80s music lol. & we both bought corduroy sheepskin jackets immediately after watching s1, lucas KILLED it. fashion king)

Thank you for sharing your story and adding to the discussion!

Your cafe story raises so many interesting psychological ideas about the nature of storytelling and connecting to coming-of-age narratives or even writing it/creating it, as the Duffers have done. As you put it, "Even at 22 sitting in this cafe with my friend, browsing insta innocently, I could remember exactly what it was like to be 13 and my heart was just beating. Whenever i think of that crush on that boy, i am 13 again. i am not a grown woman perving on a young boy. i am 13. So i think, maybe, thats how many of us here connect with spicy byler tumblr," and I think there's a lot of intrigue there.

Even though your story is related to Finn IRL, I'd say a part of writing/reading a story is putting yourself in the shoes of the characters and seeing things from their eyes. And that includes temporarily "becoming 13 again" (or becoming the age of the characters you're exploring). And that's not creepy. It's just a part of the process. Art itself is messy and psychologically layered.

A lot of Bylers seem to believe the Duffers would be creepy for including a sex scene in S5, even with the characters aged up, because they watched Finn and Noah (and by extension Mike and Will) grow up. But really, it's all a part of them engaging with the coming-of-age themes they've set up and "becoming 17 again" to properly tell this story how it's meant to be told, wherever that journey takes them. And in the context of a gay coming-of-age tale, it just might include sexual exploration and discovery. *Gasps*

[khaleesiofalicante]

and this chapter the new one is the reason why i would never stop loving my little Max blueberry, i loved him since i first knew of his existence (in teh fictional world) btlio was the second story i ever fucking picked up after completing tmi even before the rest of teh tftsa book. I ... the pain never stops, last time i was crying over arthur now i am crying over max , tbh i i was also a little biased towards max throughout the whole lbaf story ( only time i was a little furstrated was because of the mallory trust situation - but it just showed he is too good for the world my max) and DAVID?! wow that boy has literally been tortured since birth with just a good few years sprinkled in between. WHYYYY DANI WHYY, also other max did a honoruble thing choosig teh world but his FAMILY!?? wow. my max i just want hi to be alright ( and teh rafe and max scene was sooo heartbreaking but such a heart touching moment) also magnus baby stop taking credit for all teh bad things happening, buddy, you are good, believ that. wow my max ,.,, and david wow, i sort of knew it was going to come to these two choices, and wehenver i wondered about teh trigge rof the story i aways thought either arthur will die or..actually it was only what i thought, but i was like nahh dani wont, arthur is her fav baby she wont, but girl whattt, i wasnt surpised but i was surpised *insert surprised pickachu face* but i didnt forsee max having to make such a difficult choice, so now he took arthur to pandemobium, his body is disintegrated, and he truly is gone isnt he. also whoa HERMES BACK OFF BUDDY BACK TEH FUCK OFF, DONT TOUCH MY MAX, HE LITERALLY JUST FUCKING SAVED YOUR ASSES by making kincaid exist you bitch. i hope max tells him or atleast magnus does something to protect him, i know he wont let hermes hurt his kid, no wayy.

also so if in the alt uni, alec is dead when lance destroyes idris, like rafe and all everyone

ALSO THAT BITCH FUCKING DONKEY MADELINE AND KYLE (firts they hurt kincaid, and then HE SAYS BITCHY THINSG ABOUT ARTHUR ?whore ? that what that piece of shit said you are a fukcing whore pretending to love his wife and then also telling hell hurt her.

he is psychotic both of them like MADELINE THAT FUCKING BITCHJUST AS BAD AS MALLORY ACTUALLY WORSE, saying david got to hold him was more than he deserved, NOW I am like glad she suffered, PLEASE DANI DO GODS WORK AND MAKE THEM SUFFERRRRRRRRRRRR LIKE ANYTHING, nothing will be enough at this point, (ps this is actually how real life abusive toxic marraiges also exist like threatening to harm the mom to a kid and the mom who stays their willingly bc of how they believe they are dependent and love their husbands, who are emotionally manipulative.) its so hard to see for people about the suffering and people just go on like that.

mallory (sry madeline i mean, i just exhanged them in my head) (like bitch you all knew the repurcussions of going to that meeting and werent you teh one who aupported david, and wtf excuse does kyle have aother than his bruised ego to want this shit so bad) and kyle have no redemption. and like people no matter how scared just allow such inhumaness like killing kids, harming torturing them and teh fact that even in real life this has happened in history is disgusted.

thank you for all your hardwork and giving us this chapter.

I say this with my whole heart but I would literally pay money to watch you life react to LBAF chapters 😂😂😂

[haknom]

MUTUAL AWARDS!!

honestly i used to want to do them sooo bad when i was actively posting on tiktok etc but never had the chance soo... EVERYBODY CHEER HERE THEY ARE!!!! *insert crowd cheering*

here are the awards for tonights show; funniest mutual(s), the one(s) i cherish most, my #1 hater, mutual that only speaks truth, best music taste (the artists we have most in common with), mutual with the best series/fics, the mutuals i look up to the most, the mutual i love hearing life stories from, and lastly, the mutuals i love being around!

let’s start off strong and go with my #1 hater !! 

lately, i’ve been getting sm HATE from my mutuals bc of the jungwon fic i am currently writing and it’s been coming from MANY of them. our nominees (by ME) for tonight are; fee, soph, rei, and diana.... It was really hard choice but. @feeeli wins the award bc tell me why SHE IS SO TOXIC DANGG like cmon bae it was never that serious 💔 we literally went from enemies to lovers so It’s an easy win tbh BUT SECOND PLACE WAS DEF REI LIKE DAMN SHES ALSO TOXIC 😭 i can say one word and i’ll get a “shut up” in response I SWEAR.

now that that little rant is over (love u both sm!!) let’s move onto the second award... the one with the longest name - best music taste (the artists we have most in common with). obviously my mutuals and i stan a lot of similar groups but there is the one mutual who literally. I js adore them for this. ANYWAYS NOMINEES FOR TONIGHT ARE moki, rei, and sia (literally gives the best song recs tbh). Really difficult to choose Once again but this award goes to... @mokiverse !! u don’t know the GASP i let out when i saw that u also love dept on ur carrd. LITERALLY NOBODY KNOWS HIMMM makes me so sad BUT DEF DESERVED THIS dept4life yall ! sia and rei have GREAT music taste esp sias song recs SHADY AND ONE NIGHT >>>> been obsessed since she gave me them!

3rd award of the night is..... funniest mutual(s)!! nominees for this one are rei, soph, flo, sona, sia, mari, diana, yen, sunny, esther, eju ema, sav, fee, and jules!!

no joke.. i wish i could js @ like every single one of my mutuals for this one bc u should see how much they make me laugh under the span of 5 minutes..

hard choice tbh and im Srs abt this one but i’ll try and limit it to at least 5 mutuals 😞 BUT ANYWAYS these 5 mutuals r like IDK They make me giggle, their comebacks r so funny and good, THEIR HUMOR?? dont get me started, and their jokes r js so good. the winners for this award areee @soov @son4taa @hanniluvi @wonieleles @eundiarys and @feeeli (again Ik) GUYS DONT BE SAD PLS if u dont win this is all for fun..... BUT REIS JOKES R SO FUNNY IDK WHY even if theyre directed at me im still gonna giggle.. SIA >>> her dn jokes when i first met her always made me laugh ESP THE CHEWING GUM ONE i forever hold onto it LMAOOO 😭 SONA AND SOPH.

theyre literally twins i swear Bc why do i let out the same three laughs whenever they make jokes. SOPHS SMAUS R SO GOOD AND HER RESPONSES TO EDITS OR REACTIONS TO THINGS LMFAOOO i saw ur reaction to that one edit soph Dont hide “eats my walls” WDYM??? 🤨 and sona is js so funny theres no reason needed. DONT EVEN TRY AND DISCREDIT HER 😒 i giggle sm its unbelievable. FEE!! double award how r u feeling bff!! ever since we met each other under esthers comment section LMAOOO ive always found u funny 😭

LIKE U SWITCHED UP SO FAST AFTER FINDING OUT I WROTE BAD NEWS?? WERENT U JS THREATENING ME A MINUTE AGO 😭😭 jules taehyun smau??? I giggle left and right I WAS LITERALLY LAUGHING AT 7:17 AM LIKE THATS HOW YK SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ME LMAOOO

okay now for the 4th award “the one(s) i cherish most” No joke. this one is literally impossible idk how i was able to narrow it down 😓😓 but todays nominees areee.........................................................JK U RLLY THOUGHT 🤣🤣🤣 i cherish every single one of my mutuals! theyre all special to me to the point where i cant even separate them into categories nor rank them. BUT ANYWAYS next award guys!

this award is called “the mutuals i look up to the most” once again! this one was acc a hard choice since i look up to everyone but if we’re going by who i admire the most / am inspired by then it’s not that bad. here are the nominees!! sona, soph, rei, sia, yun, yen, esther and sue!! the winner(s) of this award will now be announced. @soov @soobnny @amakumos @hanniluvi @son4taa @yenqa @urszn Funny how they all won the award... BUT FR! yun has been my main inspiration for starting an acc SHOCKING IKK LMAOO and when she followed me back tears formed in my eyes HELP i was so surprised tbh but i admire her sm and enjoy ALL her works! as well as sue! i love sue and when i saw that she followed me back??? i literally SCREAMED.

LIKE THE SUE FOLLOWED ME BACK?? i rarely interact with them both since yk a little too shy to do so BUT YOULL SEE ME IN UR ASK BOXES OCCASIONALLY TRUST ! soph sona yen esther and rei i love them smm IDK WHY BUT they js inspire me to write and continue series i want to discontinue LMAOO support them Now. i will appear under ur covers at night do Not test me rn. 

next award!! “the mutual i love hearing life stories from” easy win tbh. nominees r mari, raven, and rose! AND TBH everyones life stories r so entertaining to hear but theres something abt this one mutual’s life... ESP THEIR LOVE LIFE HELLO???? the winner is.... @aezrali !! LIVE LAUGH LOVE ROSE’S LIFE STORIES. YOU LITERALLY LIVE IN A DRAMAA I SWEAR the asks u used to send me always had me so intrigued no joke. PLS BRING THEM BACK 🙏 still rooting for the second lead btw 🤞

7th award tbh Why am i on a roll. “mutual that only speaks truth” Literally everything this mutual says is agreeable (UNLESS ITS ABT ME AND THIS JUNGWON FIC 😒) this is like the 3rd award this mutual won LOL but tonights nominees areee raven, rei, and soph! but the winner is @soov ! EVERYTHING U SAW ABT THIS FIC IS WRONGGGGG (idk what u say so Dont ask me.) BUT ANYWAYS rei literally speaks truth and adds humor into it SO its an automatic win tbh 🤞 never mess with rei I learned that the hard way...

second last award for tonight isss; mutual(s) with the best series/fics! i’d say i nominated all my mutuals for this one but i do have personal favorites! @amakumos @son4taa @hanniluvi @yenqa @eundiarys !! all their seires and fics r so good. Literally go support them pls 🙏🙏 you’ll see me reblogging their posts A lot. So clearly theyre good 😂

LAST AWARD GUYS!! MUTUALS I LOVE BEING AROUND ! as i said before its impossible to put my mutuals into categories like these but if i HAD to choose i’d say @taejays because they’re very comforting and fun to be around! i enjoy our little chats about fics etc 😁 @wonieleles ever since i met sia i always loved being around her! shes one of my favorite people to speak with or at least have her presence around me.

@redm4ri MY OG BFF!! when we first both joined walmart enhypen we literally connected so quickly?? unbelievable LMAOO but youre so exciting i love u sm @feeeli everyday We shall thank esther’s comment section that brought us together bff 🫶 it’s been like 3 weeks of knowing u and it felt like we’ve known each other since diapers...CRAZY RIGHT IDK WHY BUT IT SHOCKS ME EVERYTIME I THINK ABT IT i love ur company sm and our little secret gc LOLOL forever my #1 rival 🤞

@isoob MY FIRST MUTUAL ON THIS APP. everyday i wake up and i am thankful i met u! we literally fell off for like a good 10 months BUT WHO SAID THAT STOPPED OUR FRIENDSHIP 🤣 LOVE U SM EJU!! @ox1-lovesick ty for sending me that ask during math class! i literally smiled ear to ear when i saw it i was sososooso excited and happy u dont understand LMAOO but i love being around u sm LIKE its js sm fun I MISSED U SM WHILE U WERE ON BREAK THO 💔

and everyone in walmart enhypen! i cant rlly @ everyone before this becomes a whole long fic type post LMAOOO but i adore all of u guys and hope the world treats u best! i always wake up grateful that i accepted that little invite rei posted If not... this post wouldve never been this long tbh LMAOO BUT U GUYS R AMAZING AND SO SWEET I LOVE U ALL!

hopefully this wasnt THAT long PLS FOR READING AND I HOPE URE ALL HAPPY WITH THE AWARDS!! 

[demadogs]

I've been rewatching s3 for the first time in a while and I know the popular opinion is kind of that Mlvn started majorly going downhill in that season but tbh I don't really see it. The only things that stand out are the fact that Mike is less interested in his friends than previously, and the scene at the end where El tells him she loves him and kisses him and he seems a bit confused, you know what I'm talking about. But other than that, it seemed like typical teen drama to me, the kissing, his reaction to the break-up, trying to make it right again, I have to admit those scenes all seemed genuine to me. In my opinion, if there was a shift then it was between s3 and s4 because while I can say that they were still pretty cute in s3, in s4 I'm over it. I'm not sure if you ever liked Mlvn but either way, what do you think?

i see your point. in s3 theyre not depicted that much differently than lumax, mlvn just got more of the spotlight. thats a huge difference in s4 when we see how much lucas and max really love each other. but in s3 i could see how people would still like them. the big thing for me tho was just having the comparison to mike and will. it wasnt just a silly humorous break up, it was that in comparison to a very emotional fight alone in the pouring rain. and i also think the comparison to el and max is very telling too. max had to enlighten her that theres more to life than stupid boys because ALL mike and el did was kiss. when did they ever bond over things they had in common? max had to basically teach her how to be a normal teenage girl and find her own style and be her own person and i think being with mike held her back from being herself.

youre right, there was a big shift from s3 to s4 and i think that shift was in s3 mike genuinely believes hes straight but in s4 mike is trying to be straight. theyre both making out not because theyre in love but because they think thats what theyre supposed to do but for different reasons. el, because she doesnt know any better and shes still very new to normal life, and mike because i think hes kinda convinced himself that he likes it because hes never even considered that he might not like girls.

i wouldnt call them toxic until s4 and i think this is entirely because mike knows hes gay now but hes suppressing it and in doing so, hurting el and will in the process. el because shes putting more effort into the relationship than mike is, and will because hes feeling like hes losing his best friend because he wouldnt call or write and didnt hug him. and again, the comparison to lumax in this season is very telling. we get a representation of genuine love and they werent even together this season but we can still see that, meanwhile mike and el were technically together the whole time but they werent nearly as genuine as lumax. if they were i would love them. and this goes back to what ive been saying about lumax being a wonderfully written couple, so if the duffers are capable of writing a relationship this good, why wouldnt they approach the shows “main couple” in this way if theyre endgame? dont they want us to like them?

i liked mlvn in the first and second season but i wasnt ever like obsessed with them or anything i just thought it was a cute young relationship. in s2 i noticed byler and liked the idea of it but i never even imagined theyd actually go through with it. by s3 i started to realize byler might actually happen because a lot of mikes actions and the film choices they made were questionable so i didnt like mlvn anymore because i believed mike was gay.

[divinesangel]

maybe im the only one seeing this stuff but tbh lately there has been a lot of long-time-fans "falling out" of their love for bts, even accounts that became very big bc of being armies but there are also so many new fans and they are all kinda toxic idk they feel obsessive and even worse than before majority of them being around 2005s 2006s or younger and being all delusional. im not saying there werent toxic fans before ofc we all know this isnt the most healthy fandom BUT dont u feel like things are getting even worse? the whole fandom is becoming so... immature????? wdyt?? and this stuff u can see from the tons of asks about jk.... some of them arent even interested in the spiritual part or bts wellbeing its all delulus like y do u want to know their preferences in bed?????? with readings??? and tarots??? chill this isnt respectful!!! sorry for the rant lmao but really wdyt?

there will be exceptions, as in any case, but i think it's because most of those fans are minors or just very young. i think there are a lot of people who still don't realize how companies want all their idols to have a very concrete and clean image, and also how the world of kpop or korean culture works.

me, being someone who has a lot of male korean friends, i realize all this because they themselves tell me, and i also see how, in addition to the f*tish for asians, most of them would be with foreigners to "try" something new and not with the intention of getting married or anything of the sort.

this depends on the person, of course, but people who were born and raised in south korea feel closed off to that idea and would rather just date a korean girl since it's what's familiar to them.

but going back to your question, i think it's mostly immaturity or delusion that will pass over time.

[excessivelemon]

tbh i dont even know at this point. all we really know is:-

1) joe did atleast something right to make blondie fall madly for him

2) we dont know which songs are about her, which are about others and which are just fictional (especially for evermore and folklore because she said they werent about her real life)

3) taylor has dealt with anxiety and insecurity all her life and in relationships and it has been a major theme in her songs

4) if her lyrics are taken out of context they all seem toxic because she writes from the perspective of a person who is almost obsessed with the muse

5) we know nothing about joe's pov but seriously its hard to believe taylor saw him as that high a person since she often wrote of him in a way that could be interpreted as him being inferior/equal to her in some way (invisible string, london boy, mastermind, call it what you want)

these are valid points. i think it's fun to speculate what songs are about who, because it's romantic to think such an intense and compassionate love is possible and that taylor and joe were an example of that

but ultimately we will never really know what songs are about her real life and what are fiction. even the real life ones cant be guaranteed to wholly autobiographic. I think she shields a lot of her personal life that way, by amplifying and warping the real life elements of her music and singing about things that have nothing to do with her life, and never clarifying which is which.

[sirhampter]

another vent about the same person because i am just fed up with them. im keeping this one up, so if you see this white, go fuck yourself legitimately im done with your toxic bullshit.

i feel like i have a toxic relationship with a friend, but im honestly too nervous to say anything. said friend has been a dick to myself and other people on several occasions. they constantly nag about how we don't pay enough attention to them, and how no one cares about them. this is despite the fact they have played a major part in our roleplay campaign, basically taking over the last 3 arcs with their ideas. secondly, they have flat out *stated* directly that they do not care about ANYONE except a select 2 people for... no reason? i guess one of the friends they've known for several years, but the other one? they've only been friends for about half a year, and sure they have a close relationship, as do their characters but um... okay.

they have also been selectively gatekeeping certain roles in their takeover of the campaign for specifically the newer friend. it's just been them together in the overarching story, taking over the main antagonists AND the main protagonists, and tbh it's really getting under my skin. they won't shut up about their shared intrests, taking over several channels in our private servers for discussion, and the recent arcs have selectively been ABOUT that shared intrest, using concepts and ideas from it. (the shared intrest is a game that no one has played or gotten into except them).

thirdly, they've just been a general asshole? building off of the rude things they've done like despite the fact they take over the server with their silly game w their friend, they get extremely pissy if someone even makes a REFRENCE to a different fandom, simply because it annoys them. they also refused to take criticism when their 2nd arc was over, because boy it was messy, and people clearly weren't happy with them taking over the past few arcs. and the only thing they did was yell at us for being "assholes." and my god they just say horrible horrible things to people for no reason. simply because they pissed them off? dude what does that even mean? you think telling people to go ki// thvmsvles is okay because you're angry with them? and i know you werent joking because adding "legitimately" or /gen at the end does not make it a joke you bitch.

all in all i really want to cut off from this person, or call them out or something but im too scared since.. well they're well liked by several of the important members in the roleplay group.

[sanchoyo]

I have a longass list of things I Want to Draw this Month (or, draw...sometime, if I dont get to all of them during this Month) and one of those things is redesign my old toxic mew mews. they werent related to my main tokyo mew mew ocs (like, with tokyo miracle or anything, i think originally i wanted it set in that world but ive changed my mind lol) rest under readmore bc it got Long

but it was a story based on a woman who's father was a rival of ryou's father when he was in america (but, like, her father was An Evil Scientist (tm) ) and years after tmm she takes over his work and makes an american tmm team bc shes jealous of ryou/has daddy issues etc (she lies and tries to say 'well theres left over chimeras HERE too!! but tbh she doesnt give a shit abt those/wants to even try to use them somehow) but she makes her team from a bunch of juvie girls who dont rly have a say in it and are told they can Be Heroes and are lied to more or less. (and arguably have pasts/problems that are way darker than anything canonly in tmm...so halfway to being a grimdark magical girl series lol)

theyre called toxic mew mew bc. theyre all named after plants that are very toxic to eat. and are stuck in a very toxic situation/relationship with each other. even back when I was making them it was framed like. this woman is evil to doing this to teens who arent dont have a lot of autonomy AND are victims of the american juvie system. and in the end the woman behind it is framed as a villain, not them (even tho they were poised to be fighting the original tmm team I think?) which. is an amazing thing bc i was like 17-18 when I was writing their story and back then i was VERY unaware abt social issues lmao. also i think I wanted to showcase what wouldve happened if ryou had been like. someone with bad intentions, how Wrong it couldve gone w the uhh. unconsensual human experimentation angle...

anyway. there were originally two teams bc once the main lady realizes the first team is weaksauce compared to the og tmm team in japan she goes and makes ANOTHER but im absolutely not redesigning (2) teams lol. BUT very interesting just rereading all these chara profiles from back then and I cant wait to sit and Redesign Them even if i never do anything concrete w them beyond that 🤔

[marblesodaa]

Rating fandoms I am/have been in part 1

Gacha: 7/10

Its actually rrly cool and great, but I hate the amount of controversies and ppl that post innaproprate stuff

MHA: 2/10

When I was in it, I was so cringy omgggg. I hate it. Half of the ships are toxic ( yes, even bakudeku and dabi x hawks). I honestly don't even like the anime itself now, I just like SOME characters there (Jirou, Ochako Kinoko). The amount of fujoshis there is, is creepy tbh. Talking about creepy, why do so many ppl there call LITERAL MINORS HOT AND SEXY? Like, what.

Creepypasta: 6/10

Its alright, but we can all agree that its not what it used to be. I was also really edgy back there. But hey it was fun being there, and now that Im back there, its rrly cool! But I mostly hate ppl who simp for creepypatas, like I know the characters ARE fictional, but still, they are serial killers, they murdered people. Yes it is fictional, but if you somehow were in creepypasta world, they wouldnt wamt ro date you, they are only there to kill you, bcuz its pretty much their job.

Animation memes: 7/10

It was actually rrly cool being there, its sad that rn there is so much controversies. I don't think I have anything else to say about that.

Monster High 9.5/10

I don't know if this counts, but monter high fandom is pretty cool and chill. I hate the new reboots, mostly gen 3, gen 2 wasn't good, but it wasn't that bad, yall were just mean tbh. It doesn't have that much drama, except the whole "gen 3" thing. Its fun to be there tbh. But, the reboots aren't really helping and yeah. If atleast they made them good :/ It would be 10/10 if ppl werent THAT ride about the reboots, like I get it, the reboots arent THAT good but sheesh, calm down.

Edit: nvm, I give it 8/10, Also gen 3 isn't bad, gen 2 is the worse, the animation style is really bad, also stereotypical characters, but gen3 is overhated, I only hate the Lagoonas stereotypical song tbh.

DDLC 10/10

There was never really any controversy, and I've been in this fandom for like- 3 years (I think) so yeah. Its a cool game and the fandom is also rrly cool so yeah.

Edit: I give it 9.5/10, only bcuz some dudes there are weirdos and ppl need to leave Natsuki alone 😭

Fnaf 8/10

Its pretty cool, the only thing that I don't kike is- honestly ALL of the ships, the FNAF books are, okay ig. Meh. But I still love it. Theres a thing about FNAF fandom and FNAF its, I don't know how to describe it. Let's be honest tho, when you enter FNAF fandom, theres no way back, no matter how much you try.

[avdolluvr69]

Me after winning against a streamer i know and typing in their chat i just went against them: hey! Gg i recognized you!!! :))

Them: okay stream sniper

Me:

[ganyuslily]

washing machine heart — zhongli

pairing: zhongli/gn!reader, implied zhongli/guizhong

category/extra notes: angst, one sided love, toxic relationship, zhongli is the toxic please keep that in mind, changing yourself for the sake of others, reader is insecure and feels unlovable, objectifying (?), reader is implied to have hair long enough to pin up

a little summary: “baby though ive closed my eyes i know who you pretend i am”

note: for the event. song is “waching machine heart” by mitski. dating an archon doesnt seem like the best idea tbh

“she wouldn’t do that,” right, of course she wouldn’t. she wouldn’t, right. right.

pang.

“she was much better. more sophisticated, more elegant, you know?” more. more. more, more, more, MORE

pang.

“she always knew how to brew the perfect tea,” you think you see him look at disgust at the cup he was holding. did he not like yours? of course he didn’t, stupid, it wasn’t good enough.

pang.

“she was perfect,” everything you weren’t.

“i think you need to work on yourself a little bit more. you’ve grown so weird lately,” so weird. so weird. he means you, the normal you is weird. of course, of course, right. you are weird. that’s why he’s changing you. and you’re grateful, of course you are! right?

pang. pang. pang.

it became a routine, by now. sentences he was saying stabbing you and going straight to your heart. it was so tiring. all the comparing, all the projecting. all the times he tried to change you.

you felt as if you were an idea to him. a concept. not a human being, not a friend, not a lover, no. just someone, something he could mold to his liking. a doll he could customize and change, add specific behaviors and characteristics.

and you knew you shouldn’t let him do that. you knew you should leave. you knew, you knew, you knew. but all you could think was why wasn’t it you? why couldn’t he love you? were so horrible? so unlovable he had to close his eyes and pretend you were someone else? why not you? why weren’t you enough? why, why, why, why, WHY

you felt so useless without him around though. didn’t know what to do, how to act, what to feel. he broke fixed you and now you were his little object, little decoration, perfect lover he could take around and show off. always smiling, always laughing, piping in when you were supposed to. hair pinned up, a shiny glaze lily pin shining sticked into it. there were glaze lilies everywhere. you hated them, hated them so much, they just reminded you of her and everything you werent but you were supposed to be and you just loved it! how could you not.

you knew, how could anyone love you anyways? you knew no one would, and so changing yourself was easier than leaving him. and so you stayed, stayed for the rare moments he said “i love you”, even though you knew they were not to you.

but you hoped, oh so foolishly hoped, that one day they would.

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Hey! If your uncomfortable please ignore this ask, but i was wondering if you could write something similar to malcome & marie? Thank you! Happy belated birthday!

Thank you baby! I actually thought about this ask for a bit. As a community we do NOT support or want anything like that in our lives, okay?

But if you as a reader would be uncomfortable with reading this then do not.

this will be kinda very similar to the plot of malcome & marie sooo....

Pairings: Film creator!tom x used to be sex worker!reader

WE SUPPORT SEX WORKERS. YOU ARE GOLDEN😩🙌🏽

Summary: after a celebration its time for the downfall

Warnings: argueing, slut shamming, smut mentions. Drinking, smoking. Not proof read. TOXIC- suicide mention.

I hopw this is just as confusing as it was in the actual movie, cuz yeah. Pls dont be shy to say something about it. And tbh if it isnt that good to you i dont blame you, its currently 11:16 and i should be asleep.

You and tom walked in, a wide smile on his face as he danced around and shut the front door behind him. “Baby i did it!”

A faint smile played on your lips as you walked to the kitchen “yes you did, tom. You hungry?” You asked, opening the fridge as he went to go get a bottle of remy and two glasses, the rings shinning bright on his finger. “Yeah, can i have uh-“ he thought, stopping in his tracks and jerking his head as he couldnt think of anything.

“How about pancakes?” He randomly said and you chuckled “pancakes? Really?” “Of course! A sweet treat for a very sweet day” he walked up to the kitchen placing the glasses and the remy down.

You laughed again before taking out the pan, he also got to work by getting out the mix and the water while you got everything else. A cigarette in your mouth as tom helped light it while you mixed up the powder with the water.

“I never knew i could make it so far” he muttered, grabbing the remy and pouring it into the glass, tilting his head back and letting out a small moan from the sting in his throat. “You did a good job”

“Ya know, everyone is so judgemental, like i could walk around with my shoes untied and somebody would fucking give me a glare- or even what you call it. a stank eye” you nodded at his words letting him know you were listening, “but when i made that fucking movie i had all these women just- i cant even explain it” he shrugged, walking around the house with the glass in his hand, a wide smile on his face while you sighed and puffed out the smoke, the sizzle from the mix going on the buttered pan audible before he speaked again.

“They just kept on telling me how fucking talented i am, how i get women so fucking well. I mean goddamn im such a fucking genius” he edged on, cocky as he stomped his feet at his words,’ such, a, fucking, genius’

“Yes you are tommy” you looked down and seen the mix bubbling, taking the spatula and flipping the pancake, shifting and leaning on your right leg as your dominant hand sat on your hip, the other holding onto the cig.

“But it’s confusing. Any other time they would probably fucking- what do you call it” he snapped his fingers before taking a sip. “Aha! Fucking cancel me!” He pointed at the ceiling. “Why would they do that tommy” you lifted your eyebrow, “youre only writing a good story” you sighed, looking at the plates and rubbing a mark that was left on them.

“People now days do it just because....just because their bored- or even because they dont like them- BUT-“ he lifted his finger towards you “they have no reason to”

“Mhm, you should wait for the reviews” you took the cigarette and put it in the ash tray, taking the fire out before putting the pancake on the plate.

“They have to be good! I can make fucking millions off of this” he smiled, quickly walking over before chugging his drink.

“Yes...yes you can” “and then we could buy a fucking island, a boat and even a horse!” He laughed, amazed and he set down the glass before coming behind you, pressing kisses to your neck as he watched you put the batter on the pan again.

“What makes you want a horse?” “What makes you think about reviews?” And with that you shrugged “just because a few reporters and new york news writers like it doesnt mean that everyone will”

“Why are you being so negative? Goddamn you bring the worst out of everything y/n” he let you go, and you looked at him, giving him the famous eyes.

“The worst? How about you go fuck yourself” you said, aggressively grabbing the spatula to flip the pancake. “Go fuck myself? Whats your problem”

You stayed silent, wondering if you should just go outside and smoke another cigarette or hear him bitch and moan. “Y/n you have a problem every other fucking day. I try to talk to you but you dont. You rather talk shit and let it marinate” he rested his hands on his hips and starred at you while you bit your lip and put the pancake on the plate, grabbing the syrup you put the right amount for him before aggressively walking to the table and slamming it down.

Your heels clanking against the floor as you made your way to the bathroom. Leaving tom by his self as he let out a harsh sigh and rubbed his chin, thinking about what he should do before finally grabbing a fork to eat his breakfast.

“You know. You do the same shit every night- you curse me out then the next hour you wanna suck my dick or something” you starred at yourself in the mirror, biting the side of your cheek before you took of the heels, then coming back out.

“How dare you, thomas” you said harshly, walking back to him and watching him eat the pancakes. “How about you be fucking mature and stop eating”

“No. I dont wanna fight” he shrugged, cutting the pancakes fancy before he placed them in his mouth. “Your such a fucking bitch” your eyes squinted as you leaned forward.

His eyebrows raised and he cleared his throat “a bitch?” He let out a loud laugh, tilting his head before coming back “i think we both know whos the bitch here”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” “Oh you know exactly what im talking about” and with that your jaw basically droppped to the floor “why are you suprised?”

“Have you ever thought-“ you caught your words before repeating them “im the reason why youre gonna get millions, if i was never there for you. If you were never in my life youd still be in that house that you hated so fucking much” you walked closer.

“Trust me baby you were apart of it, but you sure as hell werent the main character” “then please-please tell me who else was doing sex for money?” You asked, and he didn’t answer, instead continued to eat the pancakes.

That made you more aggressive, quickly walking to the table and snatching the plate. “How dare you have to nerve to talk shit about me while you eat what i made you”

“Fuck you y/n” “no fuck you!” He dropped the fork, his face becoming a shade of red. “Im the reason why youre in this fucking house right now, im the reason why you have that fucking ring on your finger” you said, then put your fingers on your ring.

“Dont you fucking dare take off that 50,000 thousand ring y/n” “why shouldnt i?” “Because you love me dont you, darling?” that made you soften up a bit, taking your fingers off the ring as he smiled, telling you to come over. He sat you on his lap, taking the cigarette out of his jacket that youre wearing, grabbing the lighter from his pocket.

You put the cigarette in your mouth and he repeated the same action, lighting it for you. “I love you y/n”

“Mhm” you smiled, taking out the cigarette to press your lips on his and he rubbing your hips, the passion over the tension in the room. “Oh well i thought the movie was shit, i uh- couldnt help but think thats not how it ends” you teased with an old grandma accent and he laughed.

“Yeah i did to, how does man get with a prostitute and marry them” he teased back making you both laugh. “The movie felt so real, it reminded me of my friend miranda” you playfully said with a more younger high pitched voice.

And it went back and forth, laughs leaving both of your lips until he pushed the buttons “man she really was a thot” your eyebrows furrowed as he laughed to his self. “Man he really was desperate for a blow job” you said in your serious voice “man i wonder why he hooked up with such a thot”

“I didnt mean it like that-“ “fuck you” you got off his lap and walked back to the bathroom. “Here you go again y/n!” He shouted, and you turned back around.

“Your so fucking selfish” “we werent even talking about that-“ “no fuck you. All you do is say i-i-i” you yelled, words strong. He stood up agitated “you know what you wanna argue, lets argue”

“You gave up on me” “if i gave up on you why would i marry you” “our love was strong in the beginning and then you just-became you” you looked at him up and down.

“That was because i was in love with your body” he smiled “really? Why didnt you just leave me on the fucking street!” You yelled again, “because I thought you deserved better, maybe you should still be in that fucking old apartment with fucking big ass rats running through it, men twice your age fucking your loose ass whole”

“FUCK YOU” you shouted pointing at him “maybe i shouldve used that sloopy mouth of yours to stay on my dick so you could stay shutting up” “NO FUCK YOU THOMAS” and with that you walked away, into the room this time before tom followed behind you.

“Please leave me the fuck alone before i flip out on you, please just leave” “no”

“You know what. I feel like once you feel like you gave everything they wanted and more you expect them to stay with your sorry ass” “oh im not sorry. And thats not true” he shrugged, standing infront of the door as you sat on the bed. “Im so embarrassed to call you my husband” you shook your head.

“Why shouldnt i be embarrassed to call you my wife?” He shrugged again, leaning against the door looking at you. “If it werent for me you wouldn’t be as happy as you are now” “what makes you think im happy y/n! Im really not” “and you think i am?!” You looked up at him, getting up and walking to him but he continued to back up, until you both were in the open hallway with a table in the middle of it.

“I was never happy in the first place” you said, eyes starting to tear up. “Dont give me fucking alligators-“ “do you know how embarrassing it is for someone to tell you to get your own fucking ride home because you wanna fuck someone else?” You asked, your voice changed as you wiped under your eye, smuding the makeup.

“I had to ask Harrison to give me a ride home. I was scared tom” you sighed, shoulders becoming slump. “What if i ran into somebody i fucked? And they forced me to have sex with them again or else theyd report me to the police?” You asked, breaking down and falling to the floor while tom watched, guilt and shame all ocer his face as he leaned against the table.

“I watched you with my two own eyes make out with someone then the next day you asked me to ride you. But you wanna slut shame me for being broke and needing to survive, that broke me so much. And i did it” you choked “i gave consent everytime, brusied my knees from getting on them for you. Just to make you happy. I let you get full of yourself and now its all about you” you whispered and he came down to you, holding you and pressing kisses on your hair while you broke down more, hiding away from him. “You let me stay out there on Christmas day” a frown met on his lips, thinking back on the day and how you were probably reallty cold, he knew you couldnt stand it.

“And i gave consent to getting married to you, your such a hoe” he couldnt help but chuckle “no seriously your a hoe to feeds for attention” you made eye contact with him, and then you both broke into laughs, sniffels leaving your lips causally but easily ignored knowing you feel slightly better.

And with that you both beard his phone ding, well multiple dings. You told him to answer it, check it. And it was a review, he stood up and helped you up, walking to the livingroom before going over to grab the glasses and remy, pouring it in both cups you both took one.

“Alright, this is from whats her name....janice!” He said, sitting on the couch and you sat between his legs in the floor, sipping the drink. “Overall the movie was great. But there was a few things that werent right in my opinion-“

With that his eyebrows furrowed, you played with the carpet as you waited for him to continue, he leaned forward with his elbow on his knee using his thumb to scroll. “I couldnt understand why the character had all these strange things about her, why the sex scenes were that necessary”

“Ding ding ding”

“Shut up y/n you arent helping- i don’t understand how jhon and candy got along and became freinds if they continue to have intercourse. What the fuck are you talking about? Bla bla bla” he muttered, skimming through it “how candy and ron got along? Shouldnt they be together of they clicked so well?”

A small laugh left your lips “me and Harrison? That wouldnt be so bad”

“How in the world did they get married? Honestly the whole relationship is toxic, but i see it as they were to late to give it up, they were already in a too tight knot. Thats not true we are madly in love with each other” he jerked his head at the phone.

“Ms janice does have a point” you cleared your throat a bit. “Y/n please. Ms janice has no fucking idea what shes talking about jhon and candy are in love with each other and they have problems sometimes....well most but oh well its not to late either one of them couldve got up and go”

“Not if one loved more then the other and it was to late to go, janice is right tom” you crossed your arms.

“Do you wanna-“ “no tom i dont. Just speaking my opinion, coming from a woman your being pretty harsh about it” “well it wasnt really about candy-“

“That doesnt make any sense, shes the main fucking character” you looked at him. “It was more on how jhon viewd candy” “then why was candy always in camera”

“Because...” he shrugged. “Your so dumb” you got up and sat far away from him on the couch, he eyed you in confusion “isnt that fucking movie based off of my life. Like im some type of experiment and you solved made something out of it” you dozed off, swirling the remy in your glass. “Im not feeding into this” he ignored you, until you got up and barked at him, which he looked at you as if you were crazy before doing it back “fucking prick!” You stomped off out of the livingroom and went outside.

“Fuckin-“ he couldnt come up with anything before he let out something random “fuckin mood swinger-“ you finally took the time to take off your makeup and dress, muttering words about him “thats why he stinks, smellin like a gorrila- asshole- man whore” you took a bath too, you didnt feel your best at the moment.

Tom on the other hand just took off his shoes and aggressively stomped on the pillows, throwing a tantrum and jumping on the couch and punching air, kicking it until he accidentally fell.

By time you were dont he thought about it “harsh?” He questioned and walked into the room, finding you reading a book on the bed with the night light on and a cigarette in your mouth.

“Y/n?” “Yes thomas?” You looked up at him “harsh?” He asked and you tilted your head at him “i wasnt being harsh about it” “mhm” you shut your book and set it on te night stand, he undressed until he was in his underwear and climbed into bed with tou.

“How was i being harsh about it” you sighed and rested the cigarette in the ashtray, not putting it out just yet. “You arent really aware of others feelings tommy” you said simply. “What does that mean?” He asked, crossing his arms and sitting up next to you, both backs against the headboard and he looked at you.

“It meas i loved you more then you loved me” his eyebrows furrowed at the statement “that cant be true” “tom it is. You didnt say it but you did. You only wanted me for my body. My love and soul came later and i was to blind to notice. That was my bad”

“Loved?” He questioned. “I think i started to love you less and got on a even level with you, then we built together” you shrugged, crossed a leg over your other one and crossing your arms to. He let out a small laugh, “you know i never understood why jhon died in the end and why candy committed suicide” you said and his heart sunk a bit low.

He cleared his throat before saying something “i know you’re afraid of losing me, y/n. I never told you this but ive read your journal” he nodded his head and you bit your lip, knowing every single letter you wrote and how much it sucked thinking back about those days.

“I know how much you loved me but hated me. But something really grabbed my heart. ‘I want to keep tom, hes like my soulmate. My hearts gotton closer by every minute and moment ive been with him. Even though i feel like ive been burned by some of the things hes done, id forever love him. Losing him would be like losing me entirely’”

“I still don’t understand” you mutter, silently wondering how he knew word by word. “I took advantage of that. Because when i was done reading it i knew it was true, it is true. I couldnt feel it in my heart, thats why i picked you up and took care of you. I noticed you really care for me and ive done nothing but asked you to suck me off, i thought i was making both of us happy by giving you what you needed, or wanted. I became so happy when we got closer, you told me about your new apartment and i was so excited, but it wasn’t because of me entirely. I wanted you to myself. I needed you to myself and you needed it too. So if you lost me you would lose everything, give up on love.” Everything he said was true, it wasnt what you wanted to hear but he needed you to hear the truth.

“So candy gave up on it” he shrugged “she didnt try because there was no need to, she didn’t think anyone else would love her, ‘without tom i have no one else, i know ive done some un speakable thigns with him but i can tell by his eyes and heart that he wants something, he just wont tell me’” he smiled, quoting off of your journal again with a smile on his lips. “Thats why i try every time to keep this relationship strong, go to therapy with you, kiss you and tell you how beautiful you are everyday, cook you breakfast when i know your trying to do something new”

“So youre only doing this because you dont want me to kill myself?” “No y/n. I did it at first but then i opened my eyes and noticed how much i really fucking love you” he uncrossed his arms and reached for your hand. “And i know you love me too, on a even page” you both shared a crooked smile, using your free hand and grabbing the cigarette and putting it to your lips. The time currently 4:30 in the morning as he reached for the cig, your eyebrows furrowed as you let him take it. “Since when do you smoke?”

“Since i had too much of your bullshit” “shut up” you both laughed, slapping his chest as he handed it back, a small laugh leaving his lips. “Im sorry for giving you such a headache” he muttered and you ignored it, putting out the cigarette and turning off the night light, keeping your distance from him you got under the covers and shut your eyes, and he did the same, turning away from you so you are back to back.

A smell of bacon filled your nose when you woke up, a faint smile on your lips as you got up, walking to the kitchen and finding thomas cooking.

“Whats the special occasion?” “I know youre trying something new”

[antthonystark]

i know the sh fandom has drama and there are some crazies in the mix but it makes me happy that 90% of the fandom isn't disrespectful to the cast's significant others and you will rarely find people that romantically ship the cast together bc i think of other shows or movies where cast members get uncomfortable with each (glee comes to mind) or don't feel comfortable sharing their personal life any more bc i know that should be the standard, but im so glad the fandom isn't like that

yes!! you’ll know i have quite a few gripes with the shadowhunters fandom lol but i’ve always been really really happy that our fandom doesn’t have this problem at least (or, not to any significant extent), because this is the kind of thing that doesn’t just affect us but would really negatively impact the cast’s relationship with the show and the fans. 

like, of course you’ll get the odd RPFer or some jealous fangirl who might not be so kind towards one of the guys’ significant others, but overall there’s no trend like that – and glee is a really good example of how much it can really ruin things for a fandom and for the actors themselves. and i’m really glad that the actors in our show can share whatever they want to share and know that there’s not going to be any weirdness or hate when it comes to things like that 

[funny-house]

huhu u got me to watch opal the other day since u keep talking abt it and im glad bc i Really Enjoyed It but !! anyways , i saw u mention mirror man doing makeup for someone and i keep thinking about it so Thoughts Incoming sorry in advance lmao. i think he would like to do claires makeup (and teach her abt it in general) when she gets a bit older,, both bc it seems like a legitimate hobby he would enjoy (i imagine if he werent Like That he probably could have been a makeup artist or something similar!) and bc he would like to ‘prettify’ her a bit.

and ah well,,, a lot of parents Like Him sometimes try 2 make their child a carbon copy of themselves or of an image they enjoy so if he grew to like claire more or already does like her enough for that (or just, wants things to revolve around him More) hed try to nudge things in that direction. and in his own way i think He might think hes doing something good, he knows when he was her age he would have killed to have a parent so eager to help him learn makeup and stuff but. claire isnt him. she probably isnt even interested in it at all but shes kinda desperate for Nice Moments and also doesnt wanna risk making him angry so she goes along with it. she always has her head in the clouds so all the things hes saying is too much at once but shes trying to comprehend it,,,,,

nd he keeps giggling at her for how awkwardly she moves her arm when putting on foundation and blush nd gets kind of annoyed with her for repeatedly flinching when he tries to help her with mascara nd teases her a bit for trying to taste the lip gloss (and keeps pointing out a flaw or two on her face “well, youve always had a sort of weird shaped face but youve always had the cutest little smile, its like Mine :)”) but they do it !! together !!! and nothing (that) bad happened !!!!!! so claire is happy,,,,,,,,,,, until that inevitably opens the gates of him trying to pick out what she wears for her and “””suggesting””” hairstyles for her and getting manipulative and even flatout Angry when she doesnt do what he wants her to (bc even when things Seem like theyre about claire they Are Not, its what He wants for her , in the end its still all about him) but, ive rambled enough to you already <:o) sorry for talking so much i just wanted to chat a bit abt opal with you !!!! hope ur doing well hehe . and im sorry this is rambly nd probably incomprehensible i just did a lot of work hkehri

ohhhhhhhh !!! FIRST  I am super glad that all my constant rambling about this man has allowed you to go watch Jack Stauber’s awesome little short, it’s really good and deserves all the support !!!

also i totally appreciate you wanting to share your thoughts with me ;u;

AND I TOTALLY AGREE  the whole idea of him projecting himself onto her, trying to take over her, I think that is so fitting for the short itself tbh, because it’s a reflection ( mirrors, hehe ) of what the mother wants from Claire as well. The thing that terrified Claire near the end is the mother reaching to hold onto her, specifically after the mom said that she was going to become just like her. The idea of her becoming her parents? it terrifies her, clearly!!

And Mirror Man, he is what they call a “archetypal narcissistic abuser”, in my eyes at least,  and it would be really really common to see someone like that not only be so controlling and self absorbed that they treat their child like a decoration to themselves, but also use that child, especially as they get old enough to have opinions on the situation, to turn them against their partner-- such as.... the mom

so picture this

Claire is like 10-12, and she’s bright and she’s got a good heart but she’s WELL and truly Affected by the years of being brought up in that ridiculously toxic hell hole-- I mean house no idea if the grandpa would live that long uhhh in his state, but even if he does, he’s still very sick, disabled, and senile and he isn’t going to be much help. and Claire, she’s starting to have Opinions,, on how things are running around here,,      but in swoops Mirror Dad

He’s like........ it’s your mother’s fault. Oh, absolutely, have you seen her? I mean look at her, she’s disgusting. she’s a drug addict, she’s a drunk, she’s ugly, she’s the reason you feel like this-- and maybe some of that is understandable, i mean she’s a real mess of a mom, no mistake, but hey

Nobody’s going to tell Claire who made her that way! Nobody’s going to tell her Mirror Dad was the one who trapped her in an unloving, possibly violent relationship, with a kid, and ripped apart every inch of her self worth !!!

Nope. she just sees the aftermath. So mirror dad...... turns claire on her. And she starts to side with him on things and she starts to even kinda talk like him maybe even....... learns how to do that dark and scary insecurity voice of his and one day She walks by the.... Reflection Chamber and Mirror Man is there in that way He Always Is in that seat he always sits in, and he says something very very odd to her!   he raises a finger and curls it in and says    come sit on my lap you haven’t gotten too big to sit on my lap have you?? come here!! and i mean Claire is still very very uncomfortable even being near him, and this feels like a trap, but i mean she can’t just say no, and there’s a part of her that’s kinda hoping... maybe he really is trying to be nice. and so she does and she sits with her but you’ll notice he is never looking directly at her. Even as she’s approaching literally right in his line of sight, he stares straight into her reflection, never her face.  It’s like she’s not even real unless she’s in those mirrors.

And he tells her he wants to do her makeup! yay! how fun! and he tells her to close her eyes and pout her lips and try not to flinch when the sculpting starts or he’ll use his deep voice-- and how he’s going to finally FIX her. Goody!! then maybe the constant barrage of insults and negs and criticisms will stop!! (p.s. they wouldn’t have )

And so she opens her eyes..... and the face of her abuser is looking right back. It’s her face. Or it used to be-- now it’s literally his and it’s hideous-- it does not AT ALL belong on that body, and the only thing left of her is her big shiny eyes

and she  S C R E A M S that way Claire does,,,

but this time, loud enough to crack the mirrors, and stun the dad just long enough for him not to catch her in his hands when she leaps off his lap and books it for the attic the attic, the view of the billboard with the same worn out, not updated ad for Opal’s in the window. She locks the door, it doesn’t take long for mirror man to come banging on it, telling her she’s ungrateful, she doesn’t deserve what little she has, taking back every nice thing he ever said, etc,,,

and Opal just starts clawing off the makeup/clay/whatever from her face in the mirror’s glass reflection, putting her hair back into the pigtails her father said made her look stupid

but she isn’t Opal, she’s changed, she’s aged, but Opal-- she’s always the same!! happy!! cared for!! and what is she supposed to be under the makeup? huh? Who is she besides the abuse she’s put through, that billboard and what it sells to her?  she doesn’t know! nobody does nobody ever bothered to get to know what it even means to be Claire.