#tearing up again while looking through the transcript

[theweefreewomen]

Unwell 5.11

this episode made me cry. don't expect them to be fully coherent, but here are some thoughts.

Blooms loves the town, loves the people, and just wants them to stay forever. it misses people when they leave. I'm guessing it doesn't quite understand death that well, it only sees it as people leaving. but it keeps the echos and memories of people, and it helps the townsfolk.

but Lily came back too. she came back for Dot and not for the town, but she still loves the town.

Lily was so brave and kind throughout this episode.

during the time-warp through the whole history of the town, I kept thinking of the golden groove sent into space, the ones Marisol talked about way back in season 1. babies crying and laughter and music and language. that's the town, that's Blooms.

Silas. Silas Silas Silas. both part of the town and yet not of the town. all the cast-off parts. the representation of all the dark bloody history and pain and murder of Natives. and Reverend Silas the Woodcutter was consumed by the woods.

he was so concerned over Lily. and he actually called her Lily a couple of times instead of Lillian.

as soon as the other ghosts started appearing I knew Rudy would appear, but I still wasn't prepared for it and I cried. I've missed him. and I've missed Norah.

I feel like this whole podcast is about how we handle pain and grief and loss.

I love how Lily echoes part of Chester's speech from last episode - how things change, but not the love.

I feel like the show's also been about the stories we tell, and the history we tell. and now Lily gets to tell the story, in a way that lets Blooms rest.

and when she was saying farewell to all the ghosts I KNEW she would get to Wes, and I was tearing up in anticipation, and then I was crying again.

god. what an episode.

[lynzishell]

Prev // Next

Author’s Note

A few things to understand about Dawn:

She very much lives in the future. It’s what makes her such an optimistic person, and able to shove away the pain of the past. She’s always looking forward. So, when the future is uncertain, she gets a bit frantic.

She would much rather spin out on tangible problems like time and money than face the deeper, more abstract feelings trying to surface. If she’s spinning on the details, then there’s no room for the emotion to come through.

And if she can figure out all those little details and have a plan, then she can go back to living in that future place and keep those nasty emotions buried deep where she believes they belong.

But, as I’m sure we all know, what you don’t face will come back around one way or another.

Transcript:

Phoenix: What are you doing? Dawn: I can’t sleep. Phoenix: What time is it? Dawn: A little after two. Phoenix: Come here, come back to bed. Dawn: I’m too restless.

Phoenix: What’s on your mind? Dawn: Nothing. Everything. Phoenix: Do you wanna talk about it? Dawn: [sighs] I don’t know yet. But since you’re awake, can I ask you something? Phoenix: Of course.

Dawn: What do you want more: to get married or have a baby? Phoenix: What kind of a question is that? Dawn: I just mean, we’re gonna have to prioritize. The fact is, we only have so much money in savings. If we have to go through IVF, then we can’t afford to do that AND have a wedding.

Phoenix: Told you we should’ve eloped. Dawn: I’m serious. Phoenix: I know, I’m sorry. Dawn: So, if we can only do one now, which would you choose? Phoenix: I- I don’t know. I think I’d choose baby, but if it’s important to you to be married first, then— Dawn: No, I don’t care about that. I think I just worry that if we put it off now, then it might never happen. Phoenix: What do you mean?

Dawn: Like, if we go through this process and it’s successful, that’s great, but then we have this baby taking all our time and energy and money and we’re on our own and how do we even save and plan for a wedding while doing all of that? And there’s no guarantee that it will even be successful, so what do we do then? If we put our savings into this and it doesn’t work? Do we save again for a year and be right back where we are now? I hate that it has to be so hard. Maybe it’s better to focus on getting married now because we know in the end that day will be wonderful and happy and then we save and try for a baby after. But we’ve already waited a year to start this process and I don’t know if I want to wait another. I was so happy and excited and now I’m freaking out and I don’t know what the right answer is.

Phoenix: Dawn, sweetie, breathe.

Dawn looks up at him, tears stinging the backs of her eyes threatening to betray her.

Phoenix: Come over here.

Dawn: What? Phoenix: I know it’s not what you want to hear, but there is no right answer. All we can do is take things one step at a time. When is your appointment? Dawn: I don’t know. I was going to call them tomorrow.

Phoenix: Good, go ahead and make the appointment. Let’s see what your doctor says, and then we can decide what direction we want to go. We don’t have to figure it all out now, okay? Dawn: Okay. Phoenix: Is there something else? Dawn: No. I don’t know. I don’t want to talk anymore tonight. Phoenix: Alright. We don’t have to.

Phoenix: It’s all going to work out though, I promise. Dawn: How do you know? Phoenix: Because we’re in it together. Dawn: [grins] Is that the best you’ve got? Phoenix: That’s all I’ve got.

[sizzal]

Bad Track recod! Kiri X reader

Bad Track record! Kiri X Reader 

  !TW !Kirishima angst, Cheating, abuse (Not my art) Hope you enjoy it!!!! 😆 🌺🪷🌻 Kirishima is caught cheating and all hell breaks loose! Shitty summary but it’s good I think…? Sorry I've been gone. I went off the grid for a few months! Enjoy my little angels!!!!

•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º

    You and Bakugou had been friends since you moved from America when you were 7. You had grown up with each other, played together, and become very close friends ever since a very young age. You were one of the very few people he could tolerate and even get along with. You moved back to America at the start of middle school to be with your family. But not to worry you would be back when you would start high school. 

When you two found out you would be going to the same school you were super excited.  Too bad it was halfway through junior year. You were supposed to start during freshmen year but you didn’t have the necessary transcripts and thus had to spend the last two years and a half making up credits.  What would he look like,  Would he have grown up and out of his wanting to be Almight, and want to forge his own path?  Would he even recognize you?

      When you got to school you imminently made direct eye contact with him and his heart dropped. You were gorgeous! Absolutely stunning.  You were taller and you matured impeccably. Without even thinking you eminently walked over to him ignoring Mr. Aizawas introduction to you and you gave him the biggest hug. He was so in love with you he had always been so when he found out you had started dating his best friend he was heartbroken. 

      

He told Kirishima “f you break her heart I will take her, she is mine and always has been, fuck up once and you will never see her again. I don’t care about the whole bro code and shit. Fuck up once and you’re done.” he said through gritted teeth once he found out you started dating. He would have never said this to anyone who was dating you. He was happy for you but Kirishima had a horrible track record of girls breaking up with him for being very inconsistent with relationships and just being toxic. He even cheated once or twice, On the DL of course. Bakugou had told you to watch out for him but you fell victim to his charm. Kirishima promised Bakugou he would never. 

You had been dating for a year and a few months. This would have been Kirishima’s longest relationship so far. There had been close calls like when he would yell at you for “being somewhere you said you wouldn’t be” or wearing “something too provocative” but you guys got through it like always. One day you were on your way back from work early. Having had a long day all you wanted to do was curl up in bed with your handsome boyfriend and fall asleep to whatever he put on Netflix. Like you guys had planned. When you walk in the door of your room you find Kirishima sitting on your bed with a black-haired girl straddle in his lap. Their hand intertwined in each other hair, passively making out with each other. You could see their tongues moving in sync just before they both turned startled. 

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?” you shout.

“Y/n you’re here early,” he said while he said with wide eyes obviously startled.

The black hair girl looked like no one you knew. She wasn’t even from the school. 

“That’s all you have to say….?” You said with tears in your eyes. 

the girl got up off his lap and approached you. 

“Hi, you must be Y/n. Thank you so much for letting me and Kirishima use your dorm room to you know while you were at work. We haven’t been able to mess around much because of different schools. But thanks to you dating him has been easier than ever. Sorry, we thought you would be back later, sorry to jump on you like that.” she said while holding her hand out as if to greet you.

“Holy fuck……”. is all you could mutter. Kirishima’s head was down with his hand on his face in shock at what his sidepiece had said. 

“I can’t believe you, you fucking liar. Was this all a ploy. How many others, are there others? How fucking dare you. After 1 year almost 1 and a half. I…i can’t believe you”. you said while starting to cry. The other girl was widely confused and looked between the two of you for a few minutes before realizing she got played and screamed at him for stringing her along and storming out. 

“ Y/N please she was nothing to me you are the one I have been in love with for all these months. Just let me explain it wasn’t what it looked like….. Y/n” he said while walking to you. He reached out for your arm and you fucking lost it on him.

“Oh, so you weren’t just making out with her on MY bed. Your tongues weren’t in each other’s mouths. There was no fooling around at all and she was just a…”

“An old friend” he cut in.

“Ohh how fucking dare you to try and make me believe that you two were just friends. She just fucking left after screaming at you for stringing her along. She just fucking said you two were dating and that you were using my dorm to FUCK.” You said more than pissed.

“Yes she is crazy don’t listen to her she is just woke,” he said as he started to raise his voice.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I AM NOT STUPID LIKE BEING WOKE HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS?” you said while looking at him directly tears still starting to pour now at a rate you had never cried before. 

“YES, THAT IS ALL SHE WAS. IF EVEN THAT SHE WAS MORE LIKE A FREINDS WITH BENEFITS” he said just then realizing what he had said after it came flying out of his mouth. 

“SO THAT MAKES IT BETTER. YOU TWO WERE JUST FUCKING NO STRINGS ATTACHED “ 

“WE WERE NEVER FUCKING” he said while closing the space between you. He was now screaming into your face. He raised his hand up to explain that it never happened. You flinched at the sudden movement and motion. 

“YOU WERE PROBABLY FUCKING MY BEST FREIND FOR ALL WE KNOW, YOU ARE ALWAYS AROUND HIM” He was always jealous of your and Bakugous relationship but this was too far.

“DON’T YOU FUCKING BRING HIM INTO THIS”

“ YOU AlWAYS RUN TO HIM, A SHOULDER TO CRY ON WITH A DICK TO RIDE ON WHENEVER WE GET INTO A FIGHT ITS NEVER let’s TALK IT THROUGH YOU JUST RUN TO BAKUGOU,” he said referring to how you always seek him out to comfort you after a fight.

      He was yelling something about how it was your fault that you came home early and caught them but you just zoned out realizing all the red flags he had tried to hide over the year you two had been dating. All the gaslighting about where he had been and the lying about who he had been with. How controlling he was over you with what you could or couldn’t wear. Who You could or could not hang out with. He would never say it directly, but he would imply things like “Oh you’re hanging out with them again, They are bad company and you know it. The rumors are true about the drugs and abuse” he said about your friend who smoked weed. She never abused anyone. He lied about that too. To keep you from hanging out with your bestie from 3rd grade. Or things like “You want random men jerking off to you on the subway, cuz they will if you wear that” These are just toxic things. he was possessive and controlling. You felt more depressed than ever when you were with him. Somehow he always made you feel safe when you were with him and super alone and self-conscious when you were alone. He took your independence and traded it for submission to his power. 

“You know what fuck this, I’m…done,” you said in barely a whisper.

“SPEAK UP, you know I hate when you mutter,” he said as you started for the door. Just then Kiri grabbed you and slammed you into the door your back facing the door. 

    “DON’T WALK AWAY WHEN I AM TALKING TO YOU,”  he said more than angrily.

You looked away afraid he would hit you as your sobs became more like cries for help.

He put his hands on your throat and started to squeeze. Sucking any remaining air out of your lungs. He had hit you before but this was different he wanted you to be afraid he wanted you dead. His eyes were filled with pure rage. You knew the spot on your neck he squeezed would be deep purple by morning. He was blinded by rage after all this stunt could cost him his career.If you ever told. Just before you passed out he let go. Gasping for air you told him

      “ I hate you and your abuse and how you treat me, WE ARE FUCKING THROUGH, Pack your shit and fuck off. I don’t care where you go and who you fuck but we are fucking through.” You said as you pushed him off and walked out. You could hear him shouting something followed by some crashes. This was a normal thing fighting but you had never thought he would cheat. Whenever you got in this bad of a fight you always went to Bakugou’s. this time was no different. Well, you were newly single. You always thought the stories of him cheating were made up by jealous girls that was what he told you any way no wonder it was also false. 

You knocked on Bakugou’s door. You could hear him stir. He opened the door to a crying mess

“Y/n what the fuck happened to you?” he said referring to the already bruising skin on your neck. He wrapped you in warm arms and brought you inside. 

“I got into a fight with Kiri….” You said quietly as you sat on the end of his bed.

“SHITTY HAIR did this to you?” he said half surprised. He had hit you before but he never left a mark. Never not once. He was very clean with how he hit you. Backugou had never even thought that he would with how he presented himself. All perfect and preppy. Yea, he was a bimbo idiot with girls, and how disrespectful he was. He didnt used to be like this but after he became a fuckboy he turned. 

“Yea, h..he cheated and I said we were through and he choked me…” Bakugou took a deep breath; although you could feel his blood boil. He would kill him if he were here right now but he needs to be calm for you right now. You needed a pillar. 

He helped you into something more comfortable and into bed as he cuddled you doing his best not to break under the sadness he felt for you. He had never even thought Kirishima would have been abusive. 

“It’s ok all right. I am here just like always” he said while cupping your cheeks in his hands and wiping away any tears left behind and placing a kiss on your forehead. 

After you fell asleep he called Mr. Aizawa to have this issue solved because you deserved justice. 

Hey guys! This was kinda a mess but let me know what you think! It was not pre read and I wrote this very quick.... Luv you bye!!!!❤️

[ejzah]

Could you write a fanfiction set during the events of the season 8 finale where Kensi and Deeks take a moment to grieve and comfort each other over Michelle's death and Sam's heartache, taking place after Callen and Sam leave the scene, but before they get back to Ops.

A/N: This one was a little hard since I didn’t want Kensi and Deeks to come off as selfish.

***

When No One Wins

Deeks glanced around the crime scene, shaking his head at the carnage left behind. The coroner had taken Michelle’s—had taken Michelle, and Callen and Sam had left shortly after. Only a few cops remained, processing the last of the evidence, and so forth.

It was horrific, not in the least because they’d been so close. So close to saving Michelle, to keeping Sam’s life whole. He kept running through what they could have done differently, where they’d been too slow or too stupid to it the pieces together. And Michelle had paid the price.

Turning away from the lines of caution tape, Deeks glanced around for Kensi. He’d last seen her talking to one of the LAPD officers maybe 15 minutes ago, but had lost track of her since.

A rush of panic, and the sudden, intense need to find her had him ducking back under the yellow tape. He didn’t think Tahir would attack her, but he needed to check for his own peace of mind. After a few minutes, he found her tucked away at the very back of the building.

“Kensi? Did you find something else?” he asked, covering his relief at the sight of her.

“No, I, uh, I needed a minute,” she said softly.

“Sam and Callen already left, so we should probably get back.” Kensi nodded in response, just the edge of her jaw visible, but it was enough for him to tell she was barely holding back tears. “Hey, come here.”

“I’m fine, I just—” she waved her hand in a vague gesture, keeping her body firmly turned away from him.

“Kens.”

At the sound of her name, she crumpled, shoulders caving inward as she cupped her palms over her face.

“Oh baby,” he murmured, gently taking her arm, and she didn’t resist when he tugged her into his arms. Burying her face in his chest, Kensi gripped the back of his shirt so tightly, he felt her nails dig slightly into his skin. Her shoulders heaved with silent sobs.

“I can’t believe this happened,” she gasped. “Michelle’s gone. I thought we’d find her in time.”

“I know, me too.” He swallowed heavily, his anger from before giving way to sadness. He clutched Kensi to him, breathing in her familiar scent, the comforting press of her body against his.

After a few minutes Kensi heaved a sigh, rubbing both hands over her damp cheeks as she eased back.

“What are we going to do?”

“We’re going to take a minute, grieve, for Michelle, for Sam,” he said in a gravelly voice, brushing his fingers up and down Kensi’s back. “And then we do whatever it takes to find Tahir. Because that’s what Sam’s going to need right now. We support him however we can.”

“It won’t make this right,” she said, shaking her head. “Nothing will.”

“I know it won’t. But it’s the best we can do.”

Kensi pressed her lips together, visibly fighting for control of her emotion. She looked up at Deeks, carefully cupping his cheeks, and leaned in to kiss him. “I love you,” she said with great intent in her voice.

He was almost certain she was thinking of Sam and Michelle, and the utter unpredictability of the future.

“I love you too.” He embraced her again, allowing himself one more moment of selfishness. “Now let’s go help Sam.”

***

A/N: I hope this is alright, if a little different than what you might have imagined. I’ll admit while I did review a few clips and the transcript, I did not rewatch this arc, so I apologize for any mistakes.

Rest in peace, Michelle.

Thanks for the prompt!

[thesupreme316]

Warlord and the reader celebrating their anniversary

i GOTCHUUUUUUU

Wardlow and Fem!Reader Celebrating their Anniversary: (Wardlow x Fem!Reader)

Word count: 787

Genre: Fluff

Supreme Speaks: i know that I always say this but sorry for taking too long. shoutout to @hookerforhook for allowing me to write their requests (plz keep them coming). hope everyone enjoys this one. P.S. Remember you are loved and appreciated

Warnings: none i don't think, barely proofread

Taglist: @hookerforhook @hooks-martin @wwenhlimagines @triscillal @sheinthatfandom

Wardlow is a sweetheart and you cannot change my mind

A very strong, tall, delicious looking, smells good, funny, charismatic sweetheart indeed

In terms of yall getting together, he would have not stopped chasing you until you agreed to date him

(Then again if you rejected this man you are crazy and we need to talk-)

Throughout your relationship, he has been very hands-on and open about everything with you

I believe he would communicate very well with you

“Baby please don’t hate me but that couch does not go with the furniture”

“Babe, it’s the sims-”

Would think about you for the majority of the day

And would get you little trinkets while he’s on the road

He’s very protective of you and hates to be away from you for long

Always tries to get you to travel with him

Overall, Wardlow is grateful for you putting up with his schedule and the demands in his life and decided to treat you for the upcoming milestone

For the anniversary he would pull out all the stops

Breakfast in bed? With your favorite flowers? And the bottomless mimosas if you wanted? (or water if that’s your style)

OKAY HEAR ME OUT He would allow you to open one gift for every meal you two eat

So he has three big gifts for you in total

(and then he’ll eat you afterward if you know what I mean)

Wants you to wear a matching color scheme with him (his favorite color is black)

Would take you to a spa day cause he got certificates to use

After a nice back massage, he’ll take you out to lunch at your favorite place

DON’T THINK THIS IS ONE-SIDED

You gifted him with a map of where ya’ll first met and a transcript of your first words to each other

He said he’s gonna put it up in y’alls living room

“Is that Leo the Lion?”

He gives you a blooming flower box like this

I don’t think he’s into doing DIY by himself so he asked the girls at work to help him with the gift and putting it together

You nearly teared up as you looked through the memories together

“Oo babe! This is when you got chased by that-”

“I thought I took that one out -_-”

Although this is a nice gift, he saved the best for last

Hours later you got redressed cause he said “It’s a fancier place”

While y’all are matching again, he blindfolds you and takes you to the location

After stumbling in your heels (cause you can’t see or if you don’t wear heels that’s cool too), he took off your blindfold and you saw a beautiful table decorated with roses and pictures of the two of you hanging up by the tree branches in a garden

You awed and squealed as tears entered your eyes yet again

He leads you to the table where your favorite meal and alcoholic (or non-alcoholic) beverage awaits

While eating, you two discussed today and future plans, ultimately deciding today was the best anniversary ever

After you finished eating, you were given a dessert with the words “Marry Me?” on it

You looked up at Wardlow in shock as he got down on one knee with a beautiful ring in his hands

(girl if you weren’t crying earlier, you’re sobbing now as I’m about to get fluffy)

“Y/N, I truly love you. I cannot imagine my life without you, and I hope I never have to go on without you in my life. You have been my rock, the one person who keeps me grounded. Today, really cemented how I feel about you and how even after three years of dating, I still get nervous and butterflies when you just look at me. Babygirl, I am in love you. God, I’m so in love with you. You are the most caring, sincere, beautiful, and intelligent person I’ve ever met. Thank you for showing me how to love you unconditionally, with passion and purity. You will always be the best part of my life. I say all that to ask, Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?”

You quickly nodded as tears streamed down your face. Wardlow got up, put the ring on your finger, and kissed you as the hired photographer took pictures of you.

Hugging you, he kissed your forehead and looked up at the sky. You felt his body shake and looked down to see him shaking his leg, you laughed at him

“Does your knee hurt?”

“Yeah, a little bit.”

“Let’s book another massage, you old man.”

“The old man you’re gonna marry.”

Overall…Wardaddy is an amazing boyfriend who is gonna turn into a wonderful husband.

[izlaniusliddel]

A Cry For Help PT1

Joan followed Pyrrha as she opened the door leading out to the roof. "Pyrrha, I know I'm going through a lot right now, but, I'm not that depressed, I could always be a farmer or something." Joan said looking down at the ground below them, they were so high up that the few students that out at this hour seemed little more than ants from the little rooftop. "NO," Pyrrha shouted hugging the blonde girl and pulling her away from the edge and turning Joan to face her, "That's not why I brought you up here," she let go of Joan, her cheeks turning almost as red as her own hair. "Joan, I know that you're having a difficult time in class, and that you're still not the strongest fighter," that last part only made Joan feel worse like she really wasn't worth it like she really was just a fraud especially coming from Pyrrha it made her want to curl up into her hoodie and cry, "So," Joan's thought was cut off "I want to help you." Pyrrha finished "What?" Joan asked, "We can train up here after class, where no one can bother us." Pyrrha said with a little bit of hope in her voice, secretly she just wanted to get closer to the blonde and having developed feelings for the knight loving her clumsy and airheaded nature. "You think I need help?" Joan said trying to hide the hurt that only bled out into her words, Pyrrha caught onto this and quickly stuttered "N-No, that's not what I meant." "But you just said it." Joan looking down at their feet. "Joan, everybody needs a little push from time to time, it doesn't make you any different from the rest of us," Pyrrha started trying to talk the blonde up "You made it to Beacon, that speaks volumes of what you're capable of." Joan turned away, that last part stung her to her very core, it was only a second before she responded but it felt like an agonizing eternity before she responded, "You're wrong," Joan said, again gazing down at the people on the ground below, she sighed "I don't belong here." "That's a terrible thing to say of course you do!" Pyrrha stated fully believing her words, Joan turned around her face looking almost angry. "No I don't," she stated seriously before sighing and looking back down at her feet, "i wasn't really accepted into Beacon."Joan turned to look at the people below "W-what do you mean?" Pyrrha reached her hand out to the blonde but she just snapped and spilt her guts to her partner "I mean I didn't go to combat school, I didn't pass any tests, i didn't earn my place at this academy, i lied!" she turned around "I got my hands on some fake transcripts and I lied." she was on the verge of tears now,Pyrrha was stunned to say the least this girl that was leading he and the rest of her team and that she was now falling head over heels for, lied? "W-what, but why?" "Because this is what I've always wanted to be, my mother, my father, my grandfather and his father before him were all warriors, they were all heroes," Joan was now full on crying "And I wanted to be one too, I was just never good enough." she gazed back to the people below. Pyrrha walked over to her and placed a hand on the blonde knight's shoulder. "Then let me help you," "I DON'T WANT HELP, I DON'T WANT TO BE THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS, I WANT TO BE THE HERO!!!!" Joan snapped and turned to face Pyrrha, her eyes filled with angry, sad, and ashamed tears "Joan,I," Pyrrha started only to be cut off by the blonde "I'M TIRED OF BEING THE LOVEABLE BIMBO STUCK IN THE TREE WHILE HER FRIENDS FIGHT FOR THEIR LIVES! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?! IF I CAN'T DO THIS ON MY OWN," Joan grabbed her arm and looked away from Pyrrha, from her partner, from her eyes, her disappointed eyes. "then what good am I?" the last part of her sentence was more like a whisper. Looking at the pain she was in,Pyrrha would be lying if she said it didn't break her heart, and she wanted nothing more than to comfort the knight, hug her, hold her, tell her that everything would be okay, she went for it she tried to pull Joan into a hug, but, Joan pulled way "Just, leave me alone, okay?" Joan said,

[rosetheex-editor]

[Video transcript start.]

[The transcript begins with the sound of a door being opened, the camera in someone's hand viewing everything sideways as they walk out onto the roof of a building, they are limping, the camera shaking with each step. Seemingly a school, the person and by extension looks around for something or well. Someone.]

?: Sparroooooow? You have to come on.

[Voice identified: Rose Henderson.]

?: [Distant. But clearly crying.] NO!

R: Ugh… Come on kid! You can't stay up here forever.

Sp: I'LL STAY UP HERE AS LONG AS I WANT TO!

[Rose sighs, before turning around. The camera of course follows suit, she sticks the phone in her shirt pocket so it can finally see what Rose sees. A child in a red hoodie on the roof, hood up. They are shaking either from fear or just crying. Rose walks over.]

R: Hey kid.

Sp: [Muffled.] Don't talk to me… Please.

R: Well. Jenny's busy. And you won't listen to anyone else. So please.

[Rose finally sits down next to Sparrow, the sound of muffled sobbing is all she and the camera can hear.]

R: So… What's bothering you?

Sp: [Muffled.] You wouldn't get it…

R: Try me.

[Rose and the camera are looking at Sparrow, who finally looks up, their eyes are bloodshot, their face beet red.]

R: Come on kid, let's talk.

[Sparrow looks at Rose, they slowly speak.]

Sp: … why is edgar a bad guy now? why is he scary?

R: Ah…

Sp: why did he hurt that man, aunt rose? why did he crush his head?

R: Sparrow…

Sp: [Between tears it is like this other said otherwise.] Why… WHY DID HE KILL THAT MAN! WHY IS HE ACTING LIKE EVERYTHING IS… IS FINE!

R: … because he wants to protect us kid.

Sp: aunt rose… please… l- look at me and s- say. h- he's protecting us by… b- by killing people?

R: … I…

Sp: H- how is murder protecting us?

R: I don't know…

[Sparrow is still sobbing, but they remove the hood part of their hoodie.]

Sp: i thought everything was supposed to get better after we got out… so why… why is everything still bad..?

R: I don't know Sparrow…

Sp: … I don't want to go to the apartment until Edgar is done killing people…

R: Th- That’s fair… Yeah…

Sp: He… H- he killed that man… so brutally… w- why…

[Sparrow returns to uncontrollable sobbing, they repeatedly punch Rose while screaming “why” again and again. The punches seemingly don't do much.]

R: … Kid. Calm down.

[Sparrow doesn't respond.]

R: Sparrow. Breathe.

Sp: [Sobbing.] HOW CAN YOU TELL ME TO BREATHE WHEN EDGAR’S HURTING PEOPLE!

R: Because you’re my niece Sparrow. I'm telling you to breathe because I care about you.

[Sparrow stops, tears still falling.]

R: Edgar doesn't want to hurt us. If that reasoning falls flat then it does. What matters is that we have to help him through this and no. That doesn’t mean we tie him up until the urge goes away. Now if you want to stay away from the apartment. I get that, it's fine.

[Sparrow looks at Rose.]

R: We have to work through this ok? If you want to call Edgar scary, fine. I get that. But you need to know we are trying to help him. Before you try to talk to him, which I know you will. You need to calm down, and think.

Sp: but he… he…

R: I know… I know he killed that person… I know Sparrow.

[The camera shakes as Sparrow hugs Rose, sobbing. Their cries muffed. Rose wraps her arm around them.]

R: It’s going to be ok, I promise.

Sp: [Muffled.] i don't like this… i… i thought everything was going to be happy.

R: It will be, just. gonna take extra work.

Sp: … i thought the work was done… after we got out…

R: Na. I mean, maybe for you it was done for a bit. But, we have to keep doing stuff y'know?

Sp: .. i think i do..?

R: We just. Have to be there for Edgar. That's not to say you have to come to the apartment, I understand keeping distance. Just, be understanding. I know it's hard cuz, he has killed people. But, if we just call him a monster or a killer it does nothing.

Sp: … it doesn't?

R: No not really.

Sp: … hm…

R: Everything is going to be fine, I promise. It's just gonna take time…

Sp: … i can't say i'm going to be apart of this… that i'm not terrified… but. i… I'll be careful with what i say to him…

R: That's good enough for me kiddo. It's going to be ok.

[Sparrow doesn't respond, instead just holding onto Rose. Rose sighs, running her fingers through Sparrow's hair singing a song to them, this continues until the transcript automatically ends.]

[End transcript.]

[betatesterjeremy]

[This transcript was written as soon as I could pick my phone up. March 31st, 2024.]

[Jeremy, newly a ghost, feels a wave of relief go through him as he makes contact with the phone.]

Jeremy: Okay, okay, okay, phone, got it, good, good, great progress being made here, I picked up an object, point for me, okay, okay, okay, okay, I’m fine, I’m fine, everything’s fine, nothing to be scared of, I’m normal—

[Jeremy’s anxious repetitive rambling continues for a good 5 minutes, his other hand clutching at his hair, almost ripping it out of his head. Eventually, he gives up on trying to say words, and simply hyperventilates. Then he drops his phone and screams, both hands in his hair.]

[He feels like he’s crying, but nothing happens. He has no eyes to cry with. He has no face for the tears to fall down. And so, as he cries, he is brought more panic at the lack of feeling, making the situation worse.]

[Suddenly, after 5 more minutes, Jeremy goes dead silent. The tears stop coming. He stares into space, unresponsive. He was found in this state.]

?: [Quietly.] Jeremy…?

[Jeremy jumps. Then, slowly, his head raises as he seems to look at the person speaking. He responds in a weak voice, scratchy and faint.]

Jeremy: … E?

[E glances down, then takes a few cautious steps forward. He opens his mouth to say something, but he can’t think of anything. The longer he stays silent, the more upset he begins to look. For the first time, tears start to roll down his cheeks.]

[At the sight, Jeremy tears up too, in a way. It’s heard in his voice. It breaks as he speaks again.]

Jeremy: … I’m sorry.

[The second the words are spoken, E closes the distance between him and Jeremy, before crouching down and wrapping his arms around him. He’s now openly sobbing into his shoulder, muttering jumbled apologies.]

[As soon as Jeremy processes E’s apologies, he hugs him back tightly, his voice shaking and fluctuating in volume as he tries to hold it together.]

Jeremy: No, no, don’t… You didn’t… It’s not your fault… I did it… I did it… Don’t apologize… Please don’t…

E: If I’d just… tried harder you wouldn’t… you wouldn’t have had to… oh my god Jeremy I’m so fucking sorry.

[Jeremy shakes his head. He can’t muster any words, he can barely think, so he just shakes his head. He hugs E tightly, as if he’s the only thing assuring him he’s still around.]

[After a while of this, E finally is able to form more than just a sentence. He’s still sobbing, that’s evident in his voice, but he’s gained control over his words.]

E: I’m… probably not helping much right now, am I.

Jeremy: The fact that people cared at all helps more than you think…

E: Um… Well, yeah, that would help, probably. But I meant the whole being dead thing.

[Suddenly, Jeremy laughs a bit. It’s quiet, but it’s there.]

Jeremy: Hah… Alright, be my g-u-i-d-e to the other side.

[E pulls away to make eye contact with Jeremy, or… the closest thing to it. His right eyebrow is raised.]

E: What?

[Jeremy pats E on the shoulder.]

Jeremy: Nevermind. It’s a musical reference.

E: Oh, I was in a musical once… wait, that’s… very off topic. Sorry.

[There’s an audible smile in Jeremy’s voice now.]

Jeremy: Don’t worry about it man. Tell me about it sometime. But, uh… first. Uh. It took me about 20 minutes to pick up my phone. So I could use some help here.

E: Right, right. Can you stand?

[Jeremy, upon attempting to stand, phases his legs through the floor, staying at exactly the height he was at before.]

Jeremy: … Ah.

[E covers his mouth with his hand, attempting to block his expression. It doesn’t work very well.]

E: Jesus, this is worse than when I died. You want any help there, man?

[Jeremy, if he could, would’ve shot up a playful glare at E.]

Jeremy: Stop laughing at me! … And yes. Please.

[He nods, and offers Jeremy a hand, his eyes become unfocused for a split second. E blinks a few times, and they’re fine again.]

[Jeremy visibly hesitates, then sighs at himself for doing so. He takes E’s hand, and tries to pull himself up.]

E: I’ve gotta say, you’re… doing really well, considering the circumstances. It was only your legs that went through, not your whole body.

Jeremy: … It can do that?

[As if on cue, Jeremy sinks a bit.]

Jeremy: Oh fuck–!

E: Shit– uh… I don’t really know what to– um, okay just… focus on being… not like this. Sorry I’m a horrible teacher.

Jeremy: Don’t get down on yourself dude. That’ll just make both of us feel worse. And maybe I’ll sink more. Which would suck.

[Jeremy takes a deep breath (kind of), trying to focus. It doesn’t seem to do much.]

E: I guess that could work, keep uh… doing that. I’ll try to pull you up.

Jeremy: Okay–

[Jeremy’s voice sounds strained, as if he were holding his breath. If he had breath to hold.]

E: [He gives Jeremy a very forced smile.] Don’t worry, man. This is um… natural. Very natural. Mhm.

Jeremy: No. It’s supernatural. Actually.

[E stares blankly at Jeremy, before letting out a laugh that sounds more like a dying goose than anything. He nearly drops him.]

E: That was terrible!

[Jeremy grabs onto his arm with both hands now, laughing almost as hard as E.]

Jeremy: Fuck, don’t drop me, haha! I know it was bad, but I don’t want to go to the Earth’s core!

E: I guess surprise cave exploration isn’t for everybody. Hold on tight, dude.

[E lifts Jeremy up, glancing at the floor, then Jeremy, he switches between the two points of focus before raising his eyebrows slightly.]

[Jeremy, although it’s not obvious to anyone, also glances at the floor. Nervously, he slowly lets go of E’s arm after a while, hoping to land on solid ground. And, oddly enough, he does. A miracle.]

Jeremy: So now I never ever get lower ever again. Got it.

E: I wish I could tell you how to uh… move without that happening, but it’s not as simple as it might seem. You get the hang of it eventually. I like to think I’m pretty good at it, 36 years of experience. Are you feeling good enough to try walking a bit?

Jeremy: I mean. When else will I be able to practice with someone with this much experience? I don’t think Alexander would like you being here all the time, hah…

E: The guy with purple hair?

Jeremy: Yeah, I saw him posting some stuff about it. He uh… yeah…

[Jeremy sighs, remembering the look on Alexander’s face not too long ago.]

Jeremy: My first interaction with the guy was him spilling ice cream on himself. I think he is, uh… probably not a fan of semi-intimidating people.

E: Really? Huh, well… he kinda intimidated ME today, it felt like he was looking right at me. It was a little freaky.

Jeremy: Yeah, he, uh… apparently can see ghosts. So he was.

[E freezes, and slowly turns to Jeremy, eyes wide.]

E: Oh!

[Jeremy realizes how nonchalant he sounded, and inhales (?) sharply.]

Jeremy: It’s okay though, he’s super nice, he’s kinda weird but I promise he didn’t mean anything by it. He’s probably just not used to seeing ghosts at the workplace. Or, like… anywhere? I don’t know how common ghosts are, actually.

E: Huh. Well… that’s… something!

[He sighs, and shoves his hand into his hoodie pocket, pulling out a small box and a lighter.]

E: Do you mind if I…?

Jeremy: Oh, no, go ahead.

E: Thanks, it’s going to make the whole room smell, though. Just a warning.

Jeremy: Perfect timing to try to step out of this room? Besides, I’d uh. Kind of like to get out of the room my corpse is in.

E: Yeah, probably. Good luck, Jeremy. And if you need help finding your object or whatever, I’d be glad to help.

[Jeremy faces away for a second, scratching the back of his neck nervously.]

Jeremy: Morbid of me, but I think I successfully placed one earlier. I can only assume that’s it. I don’t know what else I could attach to.

E: Hm?

Jeremy: Uh…

[Jeremy hesitates, but speaks anyway. Not without a quick glance at the screen in the room, however.]

Jeremy: Did you see Jenny’s post about my earrings in her testing room earlier?

[As E lights a cigarette, he looks off to the side, attempting to remember the events of the day. His eyebrows shoot up, and he turns to Jeremy. He looks… impressed?]

E: Smart move, earrings are pretty portable, it’ll be easier to get around.

[Jeremy nods, still looking off to the side. Kind of.]

Jeremy: Yeah, and I figured if it were some sort of sentimental object, it’d be more likely that… yeah.

E: Man, I’m sorry for calling you an idiot, that is so fucking smart.

[Jeremy laughs a little as he thinks back. His voice holds a bit of a sad tone as he speaks again.]

Jeremy: Thanks. I just, uh… wish I didn’t have to have shown off in this way.

E: [Nodding.] Yeah… it’s… not ideal.

[Jeremy cautiously takes his first step as a ghost, then the second. Slowly, he approaches E, and hugs onto him again.]

Jeremy: … Sorry again. About all this.

[E awkwardly holds his arms out, unsure what to do for a few seconds. He returns the gesture a couple seconds late.]

E: Hey, don’t. It’s… not your fault. You’re a victim here, dude.

Jeremy: How am I the victim when I hurt everyone else?

E: Were you purposefully hurting them?

Jeremy: I knew it probably would. And I still did it anyway. Like an idiot.

E: Jeremy, what other choice did you have?

[Jeremy doesn’t have an answer for that one. He just hugs a bit tighter.]

[E goes fully silent, not even the faint ticking is audible anymore. Instead it’s replaced by TV static, and Jeremy falls right through him.]

[Jeremy hits the ground, much to his surprise, but that’s not important now. He flips around to look at E, fearful.]

Jeremy: … E? … You okay?

[Nothing. He doesn’t even lift his head. He’s fully unresponsive.]

[Jeremy somehow manages to push himself up from the floor. He goes to tap E’s shoulder. And begins to panic as he makes no contact with him.]

Jeremy: E? E, please tell me you can still hear me. Please.

[Again, absolutely nothing.]

[Jeremy feels himself begin to hyperventilate again. He keeps trying to tap E, poke him, anything, something. But nothing.]

Jeremy: E! E, please, I can’t do this by myself, I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m clueless on my own… God, and if nobody can hear me, then I’m fucked. If I’m invisible, if nobody knows I’m here, then what’s–

[Jeremy cuts himself off with a cough, his voice having raised too much. He begins to shake as he tries to catch his breath. It doesn’t work. He feels himself tear up again.]

Jeremy: … E?

[Jeremy turns to stand right in front of E. He prays he can see him. Or hear him. Hell, sense him. In any way. Somehow.]

Jeremy: E!

[His hand twitches. Everything else stays frozen.]

[Jeremy tries to grab the hand that twitched. He tries from several angles. Nothing.]

[Jeremy falls to his knees. He curls into a ball. And he waits. And hopes.]

[A few minutes go by, and E finally moves again. He stumbles backwards, nearly falling over. He looks around in a panic.]

E: Fuck– Jeremy? You’re… still here, right?

[He finally notices Jeremy on the floor, and rushes over.]

E: I’m so sorry, Jeremy, I– Jesus, I’m sorry. Are you okay?

[Jeremy raises his head, much like he had at the start of all this. However, this time, he has eyes. But only eyes. They’re wide and afraid.]

Jeremy: … You can still see me? I’m still here?

E: Yeah, I can still see you. You’re okay, it’s okay.

[Jeremy feels lightheaded. He takes a second to process what E said, but when he does, he seems to relax a bit. Then he starts asking questions.]

Jeremy: What… happened? What was that?

E: I… sometimes I um… if I get too stressed, or something along those lines, I just… fully shut down. It’s been a problem since I died.

Jeremy: … I’m sorry I stressed you.

E: It was bound to happen eventually, I’m just glad it was here and not… somewhere risky. How long was I…?

Jeremy: … Maybe 10 minutes. I think.

E: Thank god, I can never tell how long I’m out. Once I missed a full week, it wasn’t very good.

Jeremy: Ah… That’s. Yeah…

[Jeremy stands up, looking around the room a bit. It’s easier to tell when he’s looking at things now that he has eyes. Unfortunately for him. His eyes stop on his own body again.]

E: Woah, uh… that’s probably not a good idea.

Jeremy: Sorry, it’s just. Surreal.

E: … It probably is, yeah. Just… focus somewhere else, you’re going to make yourself panic again.

[Jeremy nods, and focuses somewhere else. On the screen. No. On the camera above the screen. He stares at it for a long while. He hopes he can feel it.]

E: I think that’s better? I’m… sorry, I’m really not doing the best job here, am I.

Jeremy: Don’t worry about it, you’re helping me do better than I would on my own.

[Jeremy steps closer to E, pointing at the camera above the TV.]

Jeremy: Do you know what rat bastard can usually see through there?

[E thinks for a second, before jolting slightly at the realization.]

E: Oh. Oh.

Jeremy: I heard it beep while you were out for a few minutes. That usually means it’s on. Y’know what that means we can do?

[Jeremy sounds oddly mischievous.]

E: [Laughing.] Oh, FUCK yeah. Move over a little.

[Jeremy steps to the side a bit, glancing over at E for one more comment. He has a new feature. A smile of only teeth.]

Jeremy: Say cheese.

[E glances over at Jeremy, his teeth now unbelievably sharp. He looks just how he did in his nightmare a while back, except instead of fear or rage, his expression is full of glee.]

[Together, they both stare into the camera. And, if you listen closely, you can almost hear a panicked voice coming from the headset on the floor.]

[End of transcript.]

[betatesterjenny]

[This is a transcript from March 26th, 2024. These events happened directly before I wrote this, so… I’m a bit. Shaky. So please bear with me here. Thank you. This will be written in third person so it, uh… looks like the other transcript posts. Yeah.]

[Jenny sits on the couch, uh… (God, I have to be honest.) Jenny sits on the couch, halfway cuddling with Jeremy. She’s on her phone, scrolling endlessly down a tag, while Jeremy is on his own phone, seeming to occasionally answer an ask or two.]

[Just then, the creak of a door is heard followed by footsteps. Someone coughs, looking at Jeremy.]

[Jenny looks up first, then smiles.]

Jenny: Oh, hi Sparrow!

[Jeremy tenses a bit, then glances over a little. His eyes are halfway covered by his hair, slightly messy from Jenny ruffling it a bit earlier.]

Sparrow: Hi mom… Are you two ok?

[Jenny sits up a little bit, picking her head up from where it rested on Jeremy.]

Jenny: Yeah, why? Is something up?

Sparrow: Do you two um… Wanna play monopoly..?

[Jenny nods a bit, repositioning on the couch.]

Jenny: Sure! I don’t really remember how to play very well, but I can figure it out!

[As soon as Jeremy sits up, his eyes are visible, and the light reflects off of them. They’re purple.]

Sparrow: I. No. No. NO. NO. NO.

[Sparrow crouches down, trying to make themselves smaller while looking at Jeremy terrified.]

[Jenny’s face immediately drops to an expression of concern.]

Jenny: Wait, what? What’s wrong?

[Jenny turns to look at Jeremy, and as soon as she sees his eyes as well, she jumps up from the couch, instinctively going towards Sparrow, ready to stand between the two. She puts a bit of space between herself and ‘Jeremy’, anxiety quickly rising and pulsing through her veins.]

Sparrow: PURPLE. WHY ARE THEY PURPLE. I THOUGHT IT WAS OK! I THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS OK!

[Sparrow goes to hide right behind Jenny, still looking at ‘Jeremy’, their eyes as wide as they could humanly go.]

[Jenny tries her best to level her voice, but it still wavers a bit as she speaks.]

Jenny: What do you want..?

[‘Jeremy’ smiles. It’s unsettling seeing such an expression on a trusted person’s face.]

Jeremy: Oh, come on. Can’t a man teach a lesson in peace?

Jenny: Get out of my house.

Sparrow: Please… Please go away…

[‘Jeremy’ laughs, then leans a bit closer, specifically looking at Sparrow.]

Jeremy: What’s wrong? Scared of your own father?

Sparrow: I… Your eyes… There…

Jenny: Back off.

[‘Jeremy’ stands back up to full height.]

Jeremy: And who are you to stand in my way, really?

[Jenny steps forward, getting closer to him.]

Jenny: Their mother.

[‘Jeremy’ steps forward, unafraid of the threat.]

Jeremy: And so what?

[A harsh slap is heard throughout the room. ‘Jeremy’ stumbles back a bit, surprised at the retaliation.]

[Sparrow flinches a bit at the noise, still looking at ‘Jeremy’.]

Jenny: And so it’s my job to protect them, asshole.

[‘Jeremy’ sways a bit on his feet, as if trying to keep himself upright. He takes a step forward, his whole body shaking from the effort. He looks Sparrow in the eyes, his voice trembling.]

Jeremy: I’m… I’m still here… I’m sorry…

[Sparrow's eyes widen even more, looking at Jeremy. Clearly upset.]

Sparrow: J- Jeremy?

[‘Jeremy’s’ head drops, and he stands up properly again. Jenny steps back in front of Sparrow as he does.]

Jeremy: Stubborn tonight, isn’t he? How admirable of him.

[He looks at Sparrow again.]

Jeremy: He wants nothing more right now than to help you.

Sparrow: I… Please go away… Please…

[Sparrow looks down at the ground, terrified.]

[Jenny offers her hand to Sparrow as ‘Jeremy’ laughs again.]

Jeremy: You want him to leave? Oh, poor guy. He’s working really hard.

Sparrow: I… No… No I didn't mean that!

Jeremy: Oh, too bad… There he goes.

[‘Jeremy’ laughs harsher than before. Jenny reaches to try to hold Sparrow’s hand.]

Sparrow: I didn't want him gone… not Jeremy… y- you…

[Sparrow begins to tear up, still looking at the floor.]

Jeremy: Well, you should’ve been clearer. He’s given up on you… Looks like you’ll just have to get used to me.

Sparrow: You aren't Jeremy. Go away.

[Sparrow begins shaking, terrified.]

Jeremy: New and improved.

[Sparrow is still looking at the floor, not moving.]

Jenny: Don’t you dare imply that you were a better father.

Jeremy: I’ll prove it.

Sparrow: … no…

Jenny: E said your children hated you.

Jeremy: Maybe I’ve improved.

Jenny: Bullshit.

[‘Jeremy’ leans down to Sparrow’s eye level.]

Jeremy: All you have to do is trust me.

[Sparrow looks at ‘Jeremy’ in the eyes, their eyes full of tears.]

Sparrow: YOU AREN'T MY DAD!

[After screaming, Sparrow turns around and runs out of the door. Sobbing. Closing the door with a slam.]

[Jenny’s brave face falls, and she runs to the door, but stops before opening it. She sighs, then looks at ‘Jeremy’.]

[As soon as Jenny makes eye contact, ‘Jeremy’s’ eyes roll back, and he drops to the floor with a loud thud. She yelps, then sprints off to find some way to help him.]

[End of transcript.]

[showfallmediamaintenance]

(ooc: CONTENT WARNING!!!! THIS GETS VERY INTENSE, KINDA. AND HAS GORE. AND DEATH. AND BLOOD. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.)

[Video transcript begin.]

[The video begins with someone sprinting through the mall.]

?: Lost him… fucking hell, alright…

[Voice identified: Edgar.]

[Edgar sprints away, starting to laugh, at first it's quiet. Just a chuckle, but… it builds. And builds. Until he sounds absolutely hysterical. Soon, he approaches a door. Two employees stand nearby, one turns, and notices him. Immediately lunging. Edgar dodges the attack, causing the phone to fly out and land propped up against a nearby pillar, facing the door. Revealing Edgar to be standing slightly hunched over, his head tilts to the side, all of his neck joints popping one by one. The bag he has drops to the floor, and the hand without the crowbar in it tenses oddly.]

E: Great, I was getting a little hungry.

[As the employee lunges again, Edgar meets them midair, gaining an advantage and sending the two of them to the floor. He immediately goes for the employee’s throat. Tearing it out with his teeth, the employee attempts to kick him off, but it’s no use. Edgar spits the employees throat out to the side, a look of disappointment on his face.]

E: Just wires. Damn.

[The other employee goes in for an attack, but Edgar stands quickly and swings the crowbar at the employee, sending them to the floor. Edgar strides over to the employee, stepping on their chest, and places the crowbars straight end at the forehead, he raises it slightly and brings it down. Hard. The mask splinters and the crowbar is jammed into the employee’s head. Edgar walks around the employee and places a foot on the lower half of their mask. He yanks the crowbar towards him, splitting their head open, spilling wires and brain matter all over the floor and his shoes. He kicks the upper half of the head like a ball, before picking up the bag and taking out one of the bottles.]

E: [As he walks away, taking something out of his pocket.] This one’s for you, Marv.

[Edgar opens the door, and tosses the bottle in, before sprinting away. An orange glow can be seen from the room. Edgar turns on his heel and stares at the growing fire. He laughs again, one hand going to his head. A hand reaches out of the room, and Edgar sprints over and slams the door shut. There is banging heard on the door, but Edgar ignores it.]

E: [Between breaths.] One down… six more to go… 

[He grabs his phone and puts it back into his pocket, before sprinting off, this lasts for around 15 minutes before he finds his next target, a small room somewhere on the lower floor.]

E: I hope this is the right one…

[The phone is set down, along with the bag, and Edgar enters the room. Leaving a minute later, kicking his leg out and holding a small wound. His left pant leg seemingly had caught on fire, there appears to have been two people in the room, who are now dead in the doorway. The room glows from within, just as the other did. And Edgar continues on with his rampage of flames and murder. Of course taking his phone along for the ride.]

[As he runs, he slows for a moment, glancing at an elevator and a flight of stairs. He chooses the elevator. The elevator music is a stark contrast to the blood covered crowbar. The elevator seems to be playing ‘Walking on Sunshine.’ Edgar sings along to it while the elevator brings him to the desired floor.]

[It dings, and Edgar steps out. No longer feeling a need to run. Now going at a brisk jog. He makes his way to the editor's closet, the trip takes him around 20 minutes. He places the phone down again and enters the room. Someone in a bright green hoodie appears slightly in frame, there is a shout from within the room, and Edgar sprints out, one again on fire.]

E: FUCK– THOSE ARE NOT FOR CLOSE QUARTERS. SHIT–

?: Aye man lemme uh… help ya there.

[The person's voice is distorted beyond belief.]

[Voice unidentifiable.]

[The person pulls out a fire extinguisher, and puts the fire out. Before scuttling away.]

E: Wait! Why did you–

?: I’m a hater! Go do whatever the fuck!

E: I– okay?

[As Edgar turns, another employee lunges at him, Edgar drops the crowbar in surprise. The two fall to the floor, Edgar at a disadvantage. He manages to get his hands into the person's chest area. His fingers dig in, and his arms strain as he attempts to rip their ribcage apart. The employee scratches him, badly, as he tries. It's quite the struggle. A few snaps are heard, and his hands finally move, the ribs he grabbed giving way. He rolls out from under the employee, and stomps on their head, getting more brain matter on his shoes. He grabs his phone and the bag, then jogs off again.]

[Transcript end.]

[astroyongie]

Hey Yongie!!🩷 I hope you're doing well! I was wondering if you could help me with these weird dreams I've been having. They mostly revolve around me being pregnant or themes relating to pregnancy. Like for instance,the most recent ones were two nights ago, where in my dream I was pregnant and i was telling the father of my child (in the dream,I'm single in real life) that we were going to be parents and he was scared about being a good dad and screwing "my" kid up and I said "this is my child,it's ours. Not yours,not mine...ours. and it ended

And last night I had another dream where I knew I was pregnant but I can't really remember the details. There have been two other instances where I've dreamt about pregnancy related topics in dreams (like taking a pregnancy test and the results constantly changing from negative to positive)

And TW: Miscarriage for the last one

It was a rather emotional dream that woke me up in tears...like I was genuinely sobbing like I'd experienced an actual loss.

In the dream I was pregnant and my dream parnter (again some random person...usually a celebrity or something💀)and I were so excited then all of a sudden this women enters our apartment and tries to pray for me and the baby,I felt uncomfortable with it and said no but she was so insistent and forced her way to me and laid her hands on my tummy,I couldn't do anything about it. Then after she was done say said "the baby is gone,there's no baby" and I was like "what do you mean,my baby is right here",pointing to my tummy and there was a back and forth of her disagreeing with me and me saying I'm pregnant,then I got this weird feeling that she was right and that I no longer had the baby and I started sobbing and telling my dream partner to do something but he just stood still like a statue and then I woke up in tears.

I have no idea what to make of these dreams and it's been on my mind for a while. I'm 20 years old and single right now. Even though I do want kids someday,I definitely don't want them right now. I'm also very much single and not looking for love. One pregnancy dream would be okay,but recently it seems like they're too frequent to ignore. If you could help me in figuring out what they might mean,it would help alot

Also I love your blog sm...I always binge read all your posts every week😭😂and overall find this a safe place. You also have a very calming energy,like for some reason I imagine you as someone who's like a cute elf who lives in a cottage in the forest,surrounded by cute woodland creatures,very mother nature-esque....harmonious and calming. Whimsical and cute😂🩷 I just wanna give you a virtual hug sometimes (you and your cute kitties)

Thank you for your time🩷

First thank you for your supporting words ❤️

Now into your dream, that’s something tricky. Pregnancy dreams are usually the mean of birth of something new into our life (depending on people it could be a professional project, getting on that school we want, getting into a new relationship, ect). Miscarriage is the opposite so a project that cannot be concluded or meaning the path you are taking isn’t going to take your anywhere.

In your case I wonder if your dream isn’t related to transgenerational trauma. Perhaps someone in your family did had a miscarriage and your unconscious have been dragging the information through your self conscious (remember traumatic events are actually transcripts in our DNA).

[marilostfieldblog]

[Video transcript begin.]

[As the transcript starts from someone's shirt pocket someone is walking through a building, turning a corner they spot someone. Stopping in their tracks and running over.]

?: Will you good!

[Voice identified: Mari.]

M: Me and sparrow were waiting on you, you ok?

?: Yeahh, 'm fine, just…ugh. dizzy.

[Voice Identified: William Keane]

M: Do I… Need to carry you? Or should I just drag you…

W: No, nooo, I should be finnneee.

[Will gets up, and immediately slumps over again.]

M: Dude. I'm at least gonna help you walk over there, like I'm a crutch or something.

[Mari grabs Will by the arm, putting it around their neck before slowly helping it up.]

W: Thank you, I've been trying to hold onto walls but it didn't work out.

M: All good mate, um… Apologies about my hair being messy by the way, I haven't exactly had a hair brush.

[Mari chuckles slowly.]

W: No, don't apologize for that, you're good!

M: Meh, it feels like I should though. Like something wired in my head, a habit? i guess?

W: Yeah…not a showfall wiring though. Might just be..something else.

[Mari stops for a moment taking a deep breath.]

M: Son of a bitch what corner did I put sparrow in… Hold on cover your ears and get ready to walk a bit faster.

[Mari clears their throat and looks at Will their whole upper torso turning.]

M: Ears, cover them. Please.

W: Yeah, Yep, got it.

[William does so, albeit wobbling.]

M: SPARROW! WHERE ARE YOU!

[Mari begins walking a bit faster, still supporting Will. 5 seconds later the slight jingle of a music box is heard.]

W: Uhm.. thats theirs, right?

M: Yes, the best and worst thing I've stolen from this place.

[William chuckles, his tone light]

W: I suppose listening to the same noise repeatedly can send people on edge, hm?

M: Yeah…But um it makes the kid happy so I suppose it's fine.

W: Yeah, I can understand that.

[As they finally reach the corner, the music box is loud enough to recognize the song as 'My grandfather's clock' Mari turns a corner.]

M: Boo.

?: Ahh.

[Voice identified: Sparrow.]

M: William meet Sparrow. Sparrow meet William.

W: Just Will's fine, don't worry! [He turns to face the younger] Hey!

Sp: Hello. you are the. Archivist correct?

[The child tilts their head, their hair falling in a way that makes one of their eyes visible. The green being the only thing visible in the dark corner.]

W: Unfortunately, yep! Nice to actually meet you!

Sp: Same.

[Mari sets Will down and walks to pull the wagon from the corner, the child can be seen as they have long messy brown hair, bangs covering their eyes, a music box sitting in their lap.]

Sp: Are you. ok?

W: Oh, yeah, just..banged my head! Nothing that I haven't had before, don't worry.

[Sparrow turns to face the camera, a frown across their face as they roll the wagon up to Will.]

Sp: They. put a muzzle on you. you are not ok. you're hurt.

W: Ah, right. This thing. It..isn't as bad as it could’ve been.

Sp: You… Do not deserve to be muzzled like an animal. you are human, no?

W: … that depends.

[Sparrow leans forward, hugging Will while trying not to fall out of the wagon.]

Sp: You. are. human. And my friend.

[William seems confused, looking down at the small human hugging him, before smiling softly and hugging back. His eyes are closed, and scrunched up]

Sp: You deserve to be happy. if anyone tells you otherwise. I'll headbutt them.

W: R-right. So do you kiddo. Gods.

Sp: Um… you look sad?

W: Don't, worry about it. Happy tears.

[Sparrow begins digging in their pocket, as Mari walks forward in confusion.]

M: Kid? What are you doing?

Sp: Gift.

W: Oh, no, you don't have to, you shouldn't-

Sp: Shut. You have been muzzled by your coworkers. treated like an animal. you deserve a gift.

[Will smiles, seemingly sad]

W: It comes with the job, kid, there's no need to. Don't worry.

[Sparrow stops, their head turning between Mari who now put the camera in their hand, and Will. They continue digging in their pocket, eventually pulling out a stuffed yellow bear plush. Handing it to Will.]

Sp: Take them. They kept me safe in the dark room, they can keep you safe.

[William gasps a little]

W: I can't take this! They still have to do their job for you!

Sp: Hm… Fine.

[Sparrow removes a blanket from the wagon, handing it to Will in replacement.]

M: Their not gonna stop y'know that right?

Sp: Take one thing to keep you safe. Safety blanket.

[William makes a noise half between a groan and a laugh]

W: I see. Are you sure you won't miss this?

Sp: Yes. You need it more than I do. It's soft. It'll keep your mind off… You know.

W: everything. Thank you, sparrow, and you promise to look after your bear and mari for me? Within reason.

Sp: If they would quit leaving without me. To see their girlfriend. I would be able to make that promise.

M: My relationship is none of YOUR business. Also I'm planning.

Sp: The fact. remains the same.

W: Sparrow, they have a point there.

Sp: Wrong. We can't be a team if they always leave.

W: Okay, Mari they ALSO have a point there-

M: I leave you in a safe area.

[Sparrow pulls their bangs up, looking at Mari with an annoyed look. Their green eye looks up at Mari's head.]

Sp: You hide me under a table.

W: MARI?

M: THAT IS TECHNICALLY A SAFE SPACE!

Sp: I would look at you with both eyes but…

[Sparrow points at the eyepatch on their left eye before dropping their bangs back across their eyes.]

W: I *also* would but, my predicament as well.

[William gestures to that side of its face, hidden by hair.]

W: Mari, that isn't the best place-

M: Well do you suggest I carry the child that can barely move up two sets of scaffolding?

W: When you phrase it like that, no.

M: Besides I'm 18, sparrow your like… 13 what's the issue?

Sp: You put me under the dinner table.

W: is there anywhere else?

Sp: There's a backroom in there.

M: With no working lights, and we don't have a flashlight.

Sp: oh.

W: You could've asked? I have one on me!

M: And what if you need it?

W: Steal from Alexander. Or just ask.

M: Oh. Um… Can we have it? Please.

[William grabs a small cylinder out of their pocket, and hands it to Mari. A smaller one is handed to Sparrow.]

Sp: YIPPE-

[Sparrow is cut off by Mari putting their hand over the child's mouth, signaling at the mall.]

M: Security. Don't shout.

W: [Whispered] Yippee!

[Sparrow smiles, as Mari backs off.]

Sp: I have. One last question. Will?

W: Mhm? What is it, kiddo?

Sp: I… Don't know if you knew my mom. But I'm sure you had files. Was she a good person?

W: She was. Not just files, but friends knew her. She was a lovely person, looking out for everyone she could. I know that for sure.

M: Will um… You and me. In private please?

W: Hm? Yeah, sure?

[Mari grabs Will and starts walking, they stop after reaching a point their sure Sparrow can't hear the conversation at.]

M: It's… About the um night Edgar found me in the tunnels.

W: ….what?

M: I got drunk… It was the night Jenny went silent, I um… I did something really fuckin' dumb I think like… An hour before he found me.

W:...with that employee, right?..

M: No that was when he… Died. I um… I cussed out ruby's corpse, I told her that her daughter didn't even know she was dead…

W: Mari. Mari.

M: I know I know! That um… Isn't the issue though… The corpse made a beep, like a mechanical timer or a battery or something.

W:...shit. fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

M: What? What? What?

[Mari clears their throat.]

W: Ruby's…a taskmanager.

M: Yeah?????? Well. Was. but y'know.

W: No, is. That beep isn't what they make when they're down or dead, Mari. Retrieval doesn't make that noise when they're dead.

M: Soooo is it good bad or OH FUCK?

W: Bad and Oh Fuck.

M: Mai can't even kill something successfully. Damn.

W: Mai was a bitch, dude. We tormented her.

M: Ha nice. Anyway… What should I do? I mean Rose made it clear to "KEEP SPARROW AWAY FROM RUBY'S CORPSE AT ALL COSTS" something about Sparrow could recognize Ruby. Soooooo.

W: Still do that, but you stay away too. I…Don't think she is truly Ruby anymore. Not unless she can remember, which..

M: What?

W: Wouldn't happen.

M: Yeah… God. I uh… Kinda feel bad for Rose. Her only siblings are either dead or… Whatever the fuck that Emi bitch is doing.

W: If Emi ever crosses paths with me, I will…I can't put it into words. But I agree.

M: Oh Imma just beat the bitch down. Nobody threatens Sparrow and gets away with it.

W: Exactly. Also, Emi's stalking Ness too. It's fucked, dude.

M: What.

[Mari puts the phone back in their pocket. One of their hands is barely seen being put into a fist.]

W: I. Know. I want to do something about it, but from here? Useless. At least, I am.

M: Well on the topic of beating someone up, I have some good news.

W: Oh? Pray tell?

M: I got permission from Cassius and Ophelia, to beat Eden within an inch of her life! for what she did to you.

W: Dude, you didn't have to do that. But..thank you. Don't let her bite you.

M: She won't get the chance, I'll drop her ass the moment I see her.

[William laughs, genuinely smiling, before the metal tugs on his skin and he has to stop]

W: Fucking enjoy.

M: Oh trust me. I will. I have a whole list of things on a piece of paper, the creative gears running wild.

W: I think the best time to do that, is not near the kid, but I hope you get the chance.

M: Yeah um… I don't think the kid should be anywhere near the PR team… Except you and maybe Ophelia.

W: Yeah. I know a lot of people won't go for the kid but, I don't want to take chances. Eden and Nicholas.

M: Yeah um…

[Mari sighs, before raising an arm to rub their eyes.]

M: I feel bad for PR… It feels like most of them don't want to be there… But I can't feel bad for those two.

W: Cassius killed Nicholas because of what he did on Halloween, you know? I agree.

M: Nice… Maybe… If they could just see… There's another option… Besides Doing their job or death.

W: They can. The strike system doesn't let them do anything else. Even I have a strike.

M: What does the strike system even do? If it's just a strike… They could escape, no?

W: If showfall realize you're feeling emotions except "stabby", you get a strike. Caring for someone? Strike. 3 strikes and..well.

M: What? Is there something in them that will kill them at 3?

W: Not in them. In here.

M: We… We could get them out then. If. They'd be fine if they got out, then…

W: We're tracked, Mari. They don't want to risk it. They don't want to die.

M: THEN REMOVE THE FUCKIN' TRACKERS!

[Mari clears their throat again.]

M: Sorry.

W: It's..fine. We should get back to Sparrow.

M: Will. How do they track PR? and I guess. You.

W: For Me? It's either my leg, or my brain. I'm not sure about the others.

M: … Oh. um… I'm so sorry. That means… You can't… Oh god.

W:.. yeah. I could get the leg off, I'd just need an ax or something. But the brain? They've fucked with it too much, Mari.

M: I… You COULD get out of here but… Fuckin' hell.

W: It's..hard. Unless someone could get the archival bits out? I'm stuck with them. I'm a fucking computer.

M: Will… I… I wish I could help…

W: Don't worry, please. There's nothing we can do about it.

M: William… You had or have a family… You have people who care about you. You don't deserve to be in this hellhole.

W: Nobody does. But I can help others get out, I don't have to be a true prisoner!

M: William… If… I don't get out on attempt one. I'm not leaving without you, and if that means that for the rest of my miserable life I have to live in fear to protect you so be it.

W: No. No the fuck you aren't. You are gonna live a fucking good life for the both of us Mari, you hear? You're gonna get far away from here, and live a fucking great life. Please.

[Mari grabs William by the shoulders, their voice changing with more of a British accent.]

M: William. I can't remember who told me, but someone. Someone told me you never leave family behind. So listen here you bloody idiot, if I don't get out. Which is a possibility, I won't leave you here to rot! Got it?

W: …I get it, Sergeant Admiral. You sound like a Commanding officer, Mari.

[His tone sounds light, Their words intending to be humorous.]

W: Jokes aside..thank you Mari. I'm not leaving you here, either. You better get out though.

M: I'll try… Goal number one is get Sparrow out though.

W: Yeah. And Sarah.

M: Yeah-

[Mari is cut off by a loud scream, it sounds as if it is one of joy.]

?: [Distant.] WHO LEFT THEIR CHILD HERE!

[Voice identified: Ms sun.]

W: SPEAK OF HER-

M: HOW THE FUCK DID SHE FIND SPARROW?

W: OKAY LETS GO BACK TO THEM NOW.

[Mari grabs Will and begins running, the camera shaky. But after about 7 seconds the blur of someone holding a child is seen.]

M: THAT'S NOT YOUR KID! PUT THEM DOWN!

W: THAT'S OURS, MS. SUN! WE HAD TO STEP AWAY!

Ms: To kiss?

[Mari stops, Sparrow looking at the individual in a showfall mask with grossed out look.]

M: Ok that's not. OUR kid but it is the kid we're taking care of.

W: I'm gay.

M: Lesbian.

Ms: Awwww congrats!

[The woman drops Sparrow and runs off.]

W: Annnd there she goes.

M: Sparrow you ok!

Sp: Your girlfriend is annoying.

M: Bruh-

W: Are you okay, though?

Sp: Yes. Wait… She took my eyepatch.

[Sparrow makes a noise of sadness, looking down to the wagon.]

W: I can go on sets, so I could grab it?

M: I mean… Kid what's even wrong with your eye. Why do you need the eyepatch?

Sp: Hurts.

W: Oh shit. Did, something happen?

M: Mai. Mai happened.

W: As fuckin' always.

M: Let me look kid.

Sp: No.

M: What do you mean no?

Sp: Hungry.

W: They don't need to tell us or show us if they don't want to, Mari.

M: Yeah fair but also… Did you just… ACTUALLY say you're hungry?

Sp: Yes. Hungry.

M: What do you want?

Sp: Chip.

W: Gotta give em what they want!

M: William. Where the fuck am I gonna find chips.

W: Vending machine.

M: G- good point.

Sp: Chip.

W: Chip.

M: Ok um… Will you should probably get going no?

Sp: No. Will should stay for dinner.

M: K- Kid… We have three cans of soup left, and Will has a job.

Sp: Don't care.

W: Nothing planned for today, Mari, I'm a free man! Plus, I can get you more food! Being PR means unrestricted access!

M: Sparrow you won't shut up until I say yes are you?

Sp: Indeed. Uncle Will should be allowed to have family dinner!

W: *UNCLE?*

[He gasps dramatically, and fakes wiping a tear from its eye]

W: I am honored.

M: Fine! If Will has nothing to do for PR, it can come with us back to our hideout. Don't say I don't do nice things for you.

W: Yippee!

Sp: Yippee! Thank you Mari!

M: Yep. Uh hold on let me check phone battery, need to set the timer for the soup-

[Mari rips out the phone, seconds later they gasp.]

M: Oh god damni-

[End transcript.]

[showfall-costumes-department]

[Video transcript received.]

[Jenny stands at the edge of the dock. It looks like she’s been there for a while.]

J: “And I missed your birthday… What kind of… friend… am I…?”

[She paces back and forth a couple times before continuing.]

J: “… I got so caught up in my own drama that I forgot about you… I swore to myself I wouldn’t do that…”

[She pauses before sitting down on the edge of the dock. Her device is face up, showing the dark, starless sky above.]

[Jenny sits in silence for about 12 minutes.]

J: “… My story isn’t one of interest… I don’t understand why people continue to come back to check on me…”

[As Jenny pauses, a distant melody is heard.]

?: “… Try to take what they were offering… Try to find the good in anything…”

[Song identified: Goldfinch Nocturne by Roar.]

?: “It’s wasted like a breeze on broken wings…”

J: “… God, not tonight…”

[Jenny curls into herself, clutching at something around her neck. She shakes.]

?: “… When your eyes are flowering and you can find what’s left of me…”

[Jenny quickly covers her ears, her fingers catching on the chain around her neck. She groans under her breath, as if the singing causes her physical pain to hear.]

?: “I’ll be waiting patiently for loneliness to set me free…”

[Jenny raises her head to look out at the pond, her eyes wide and wet with tears. Her expression is fallen. Then she leans forward a bit, the dock creaking beneath her.]

J: “… Is that…?”

[Jenny leans more, squinting, her face becoming confused.]

J: “… Is… there… a person… over there…?”

[Suddenly, there’s a loud crack, and Jenny is in the water. She screams, then she’s silent as she falls under the water. Splashing and gurgles are heard as she tries to make her way back onto the dock. Her hands shake as she finally grabs hold of the broken planks, ignoring the pain. She attempts to pull herself out of the water, succeeding after a couple tries. She pulls her upper body up onto the dock, then attempts to push the rest of herself up. She coughs.]

J: “God-! H-holy sh-h-hit-! That’s-s f-f-fucking-g cold-d!”

[Her teeth chatter together as she pulls herself back up onto the unstable wood. She grabs her phone and quickly attempts to stand up, stumbling and falling again, her foot stuck through the wood.]

J: “Shit-!”

[She quickly recovers, pulling her foot out of the dock, grabbing her phone, and sprinting away from the cracking wood as quickly as possible.]

J: “… I-I…”

[She reaches towards her necklace, then her eyes widen. She feels around her neck for it, her breathing becoming more rapid.]

J: “N-no, no, I-I c-can’t have l-lost it, I’ve had-d that f-f-forever-r, I…”

[She gives herself a quick pat down, then goes back to feeling around her neck. After a few moments of panic, she pauses, and she covers her mouth, her eyes squeezing shut. She sobs into her hand.]

[And then she yells in agony, her voice echoing over the pond, through the forest, into the sky.]

[End transcript.]

[the-hinky-panda]

Day 9: Cackle

10/9: Cackle

Universe // Characters: Los Regalos // Horacio Carrillo 

Your family loves to send you cards while you’re stationed in Colombia. They’re sent for any and every occasion that the card companies have created a card for. Your mother had even sent you a Chinese New Years card last January. Your family does not have Chinese roots at all and the note inside had said “Isn’t this pretty? Thought you would like it.” But it’s October now and your stack of cards for Halloween have arrived. 

You open the cards from your nieces and nephews first. Those are easy to separate from the ones that come from your parents and siblings. You open the children’s cards carefully because they have gone to the trouble of decorating the envelopes. You smile fondly at the hand drawn pumpkins and ghosts with the childlike scrawl of well, but spooky, wishes for a happy Halloween. It makes you smile and miss your family all at once. 

Tapes are dropped off at your desk by Steve, who sees the stack of cards and small box and gives you an apologetic look. You have to hand it to both Steve and Javier that they both respect your family mail deliveries by giving you time to sort through the care packages, cards, notes, and letters in peace. So the tapes must be pretty important if Steve interrupts this time. You give him a smile, letting him know it’s okay and you slide the cards off your desk and start listening to the tapes. 

The rest of your day is filled with listening to wiretaps and making notes of important information. You’re just finishing up on the last tape when you look around the office and realize you are one of the last ones left in the office area. Even Javier and Steve have left to go home, leaving two little notes saying “goodnight” in Steve’s neat handwriting and “don’t work too hard” in Javier’s scrawl, on your desk. You drop those two notes into your desk drawer with the rest of your saved cards from your family. They’re such small, little reminders that your coworkers care about you, but on the bad days, they mean everything to you. 

“Buenos, querida. (Good evening, darling.)” Horacio comes over to your desk and leans on it. He only does this when it’s just the two of you left in the main office area which confirms that it’s just the two of you. “Anything interesting?” 

You tiredly shake your head but still push your notepad towards him. “No, nothing that I heard. But there’s the rough transcript. See if anything pops out to you.” 

His dark eyes run over your shorthand notes with a small frown. You know it’s due to the lack of information and not the quality of your work. While he reads through it, you reach for the small box under your desk and open it. You missed dinner so when you peer inside and see the four bags of candy corn, your stomach growls. You tear open one of the bags and pop a handful into your mouth. 

Horacio drops the notebook back on your desk with a frustrated sigh. “What’s that?” 

“Candy corn,” you offer him the open bag. 

He takes a couple but after two seconds, pulls a disgusted face. “They taste like wax!” 

“They do not!” 

“Excuse me,” he shakes his head, “they taste like sugar and wax.” 

“That’s a bit more fair.” You reach into your desk and pull out the cards again. You put the kids card in front of him. For all his rough, militaristic persona, he always likes seeing the kids drawings from your family. You hadn’t had the official marriage and kids talk but judging from the way his fingers trace the outline of a ghost and the crayon signature, you have your answer. If that’s where your paths end up going, you have a sneaky suspicion between you and Mr. Military, you would be the disciplinarian. Especially if the child is a girl, heaven help you. 

“Your family is well?” 

“I imagine so.” You pick up the card with your mother’s looping cursive and open the envelope. It feels like she has stuffed something, maybe a necklace or a pair of earrings into the card so you give the front a quick cursory glance of the green-skinned Wicked Witch of the West before opening the card to read the message. 

A loud, manic cackle erupts from the card and startles you out of your chair, candy corn flying everywhere. Horacio, similarly surprised, is about three feet away from your desk, glaring at the card on the floor. You press a hand against your pounding heart and laugh. “Wow. Trick and treats!” 

He huffs a laugh and picks up some of the scattered candy corn. “These are not treats. I’ll take you out for some obleas if you want something sweet.” 

The man definitely knows how to woo you. “And what if I want something else that’s sweet?” 

He shakes the handful of candy, it clacking together in his palm. “This?” 

You shake your head as you grab a hold of his shirt and tug him towards you. You’re able to catch the briefest of smiles before his lips land on yours.

[wherewhereare]

Gavin Rossdale: 'I just quit everything to work on my private life, which was a waste of my time'

Separate ways: Gavin Rossdale with ex-wife Gwen Stefani

By Joe Nerssessian

April 06 2017 09:05 AM

The past few years have been a little rocky for Gavin Rossdale, but he's adamant joining The Voice was one of his 'best decisions', and working on the new Bush album proved a much needed catharsis.

Gavin Rossdale is a busy man. Aside from his role as a coach on ITV's The Voice UK, the Bush frontman has been working on a new cookery talk show, his own clothing line, is currently promoting the band's latest record, and the ink is still drying on his first venture into songwriting for other artists.

The past few months have also seen him play his first UK gig in more than five years, amid frequent trips to see, and visits from, his three youngest children (he has three sons with ex-wife Gwen Stefani, and is also the father of 28-year-old model Daisy Lowe).

It all seems quite remarkable given that, two years ago, Rossdale had cancelled a tour and decided he'd never record music again - because, he says, he wanted to focus on trying to fix things with then-wife Stefani, who he'd been married to since 2002 (however, their divorce was finalised in early 2016).

"I just quit everything to work on my private life, which was ironic because that was a waste of f****** time," explains London-born Rossdale (51). "I stopped working when I got divorced, I didn't care, I didn't want to work... I went insular and I put all my time into them (his sons)."

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Slowly but surely, however, the pain subsided and he returned to work, which involved writing two albums - the first of which he "spared" everyone, while the second is Black And White Rainbows, Bush's seventh studio album, released in March.

Then there's The Voice. Rossdale calls the decision to join the series one of the best he's ever made, but admits it perhaps seemed a little strange.

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"I know it was unusual that someone like me, a street urchin, from counterculture corners where this ancient transcription called rock music exists, [would do something like that], so I know it was a bit of a weird thing, but I'm really proud to be on it and it's nothing but a total pleasure," he insists.

Rossdale was also recently signed by a new record label, after his dealings with BMG came to an end. He claims they feared that he would release a "manic depressive" album, admitting the unreleased material perhaps swayed towards that.

But it was never intended for consumption, he says: "I wasn't writing for anyone but just for me, to find a way for me to mourn, so I went through the mourning process and then a record appeared - and because I'd decided to be as English as possible and take the high road and never discuss it, it meant I had to put everything I felt into the music.

"It was really cathartic and pure because I wasn't trying to sell anything, I wasn't trying to get a hit record."

Bush are famed for being a UK band embraced by America, a trend that's continued with Black And White Rainbows.

However, for a group rarely treated to praise from the Press, Rossdale argues that concern over what the critics think is almost beyond him.

"Of course it bothers me being bashed around, but the funny thing is the world is so serious and difficult, and whether you take the 16 million people who are facing famine, or look at Syria or at the refugees in other war-torn areas, it's a bit much to shed tears because someone says, 'You're pants, you're not very good, we don't like you'."

He thinks The Voice offered a platform for the UK public to see him as a "three-dimensional character", as opposed to "a headline or the t*** who is successful in America and not here".

Rossdale continues: "It was never a situation where I was concerned or worried about a lack of success, I was just as successful as The Pixies, just as successful as The Jesus Lizard, all the bands I grew up with and love and admire. How greedy can you be? 'Oh love me more', it's b*******, man up."

On a roll, he recalls how, when touring with Bowie, the late pop superstar told him to "outlive your critics".

"And I have, I hope. Also, I don't really read as much about our albums because I'm sick of getting a hiding," he adds with a laugh, before suggesting he had a lot of critics in the UK media because of his success in the States.

Despite all this, Rossdale is a charming interviewee. He makes frequent jokes, cheerfully compliments questions, and critiques himself as a hypocrite when suggesting some celebrities cross platforms too readily.

He's also surprisingly funny. After being reminded of a television appearance on The Nightly Show, in which he sat quietly as his fellow Voice coaches did the talking, he admits he was kept silent by a dilemma over whether to have Chinese or Italian for dinner.

His new-found friendship with fellow coach Sir Tom led to the Welsh singer attending Bush's recent gig at London's Shepherd's Bush Empire, and perhaps more poignantly, prompted a conversation about Elvis, which has left a mark on Rossdale.

"People can't go through a week without having a good day, a bad day; it's being human and no matter your stature in life, life is just there.

"I realised this recently after chatting to Tom and he was telling me about a phone call he had from Elvis in 1965. He'd (Elvis)had a tough couple of years, had Kissin' Cousins, the worst Elvis song, he'd stopped making music because he took part in some dodgy movies and he was lost," Rossdale explains. "Tom told me this, and I thought, 'Oh my God, if Elvis was lost for two years, how the f*** are the rest of us going to cut it?'"

From <https://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/entertainment/news/gavin-rossdale-i-just-quit-everything-to-work-on-my-private-life-which-was-a-waste-of-my-time-35597417.html>

[butlerettes]

The Missing

Chapter 8

You were sitting at your desk finishing one of the few books that were piled on your desk.  It was a few days until Christmas Eve.  You and Austin would spend Christmas Eve with your family and Christmas day with his.  Ashley knew about the engagement but no one else.  You were a little nervous to tell your Mother and brother but excited too.

After that, you would move in completely. You have been staying with Austin.  He insisted.  

Putting the book down, you take a deep breath.  You want to sign this author.  You grab the book and head to the Editor’s office.  "Hey, E/N, we need to sign this author."  “You think so?”  “I do. I can start with editing and then get a complete transcript.  After that, I think I can sell this.”  “Then do it. I will get the contract started and the ball rolling.”  “Great, I’ll get started.”  “Uh, Y/N, I hear there are congratulations in order?”  “Yes, I got engaged.”  “I hope he doesn’t take you away from us.”  “He won’t,” you walk out of the office and head back to yours.  There was a message on your desk, “Call Ozzy.”  You had to laugh.

Lunch was with Austin at the only cafe serving Turkey clubs, both of your favorite sandwiches, and sharing the serving of home-cooked fries.  Of course, you had your bottle of water, and Austin had an iced green tea.  "Are you signing that author you were talking about last night?" He questions.  Replying, "Yes, E/N is getting the contract ready.  I am so excited to sign A/N. I know I can sell this book.  I already have an idea for the…." You pause. Austin is staring at you intently.  Furrowing your brow, "What?" "Gerdy, you are so gorgeous.  I want to get married as soon as possible." He answers you. "Butler, we could go to Las Vegas!"  "We could. Do you want to?"  " No, I want to wear a nice dress and tell my mother and brother.  We should probably let your grandparents know.  Your dad, my grandparents.  I know you don't want a big wedding and frankly, neither do I.  But I want your family there, and my family there, and…" tears started forming in your eyes.  "Gerdy, Gerdy, what's wrong?" Austin quizzed in a near-panicky voice.  "M-m-y dads n-not here to walk me down the aisle," you respond, crying.  “Oh, Gerdy, I know.”  He wanted to wrap you in his arms and take away the pain.  He knew how it felt. Losing a parent is like losing a piece of yourself, especially if that parent was the one you favored.  It’s hard, you never get over it, and no matter how old you get, you grieve for them.  Time doesn’t heal all wounds. It just makes it better to deal with.  

After lunch and Austin making sure you were O.K., he dropped you off at your office.  You went straight to your office and called your mom.  Austin was great, but this was a mom thing.  "Hello," your mom answers.  "Mom, I am having a hard time today," you start to cry.

"Oh, honey.  What's wrong?" Concern fills her question.  "Well….Austin asked me to marry him, and, " Your mom interrupts you, "And you said yes and are now sad because your dad is not here to walk you down the aisle.?"  "Yes," Sobbing, you answer.  "Congratulations, he asked if he could, and I am glad you said yes.  I can walk you down, and Grampa can, or  Uncle/YU/N. Your brother would.  Honey, someone will walk you down the aisle and give you a way to Austin." She says in a loving voice.  “I know, and it will be great, but….” she interrupts again.

“But it will not be the same?  I know, but it will be O.K.   Plus, Austin knows exactly what you would be going through, “ she explains.  There is a few-second pause, then you speak, “I suppose you are right.  I guess I should start planning a wedding."

Hanging up the phone with your mother, you went back to work.  Y/AN entered your office, “Ms. L/N, Mr. Butler is here to see you.”  Looking up,  “Send him in.”  “Yes, Ma’am.”  She walks out, and Austin walks in within a few minutes carrying a bouquet.  “Butler, I thought I told you I would be home in a little while. Thank you for these. They are beautiful,” you reprimand, grabbing the flowers.  “I know, you just looked so sad, and I wanted to cheer you up.,” pouting, He says.  “I am fine. I just realized my dad wouldn’t be here to,” pausing to think about how you wanted to word it. “Walk me down the aisle, but I knew this.  It just hit me hard, you know,” squinting, you asked. Austin’s forehead furrowed.  He walked over to you and hugged you.  This was truly the first time he hugged you, and it didn’t turn into kissing.  He just held you.  The world faded, and it was just you and Austin.  Why do you feel so safe with him?  Why do you feel like he could take any pain you had away?  You loved this man with every fiber in your body.

Austin stayed with you while you finished up. He sat on one of the chairs and read one of your recently received manuscripts. The Editor came in to show you the contracts.  You introduced her/him to Austin.  Your editor congratulated him and talked to you some more about the author.  When she/he left, Austin looked so proud.  “Gerdy, you are amazing,” he smiles.  “Thank you, you are too. Shall we go?” you ask as you grab your bag.  Austin waited and held the door for you.  As you both left the building, Austin asked, “I was wondering if you thought about a date?"  “I have,” you answered.  Austin seeming surprised, raises an eyebrow, “You have.”  “I have.”  “When do you want to get married?” he asked.  He grabs your hand.  “Well….Aussie,” you say in a sassy voice, “I was thinking sometime in January.  Maybe the (pick a date)? What do you think?”  “I love it. Now, do you want to get married in a church?”  “No, I know you want to get married in as small of a wedding as possible, and I understand that.  We can get married in front of the Justice of the Peace.”  “Are you sure, Gerdy?”   “I am, I really am.  I just want to be married to you.”  Austin held your hand as you rode home.

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