#technical grapes
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amphibianaday · 2 years ago
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Can you pls pls pls do a blueberry frog?
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day 1446
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bayporwave · 28 days ago
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google how many lychee nuts can i eat a day and NOT die
will i end up in a chubbyemu video if i ate them everyday
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Im back from the dead and I bring you AN ACTUAL FINISHED PIECE OF ART
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vioshortforviolence · 1 month ago
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"Midnight" actually being 3AM because he keeps telling himself one more chapter and I'll go to sleep... just one more chapter...
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cosmik-homo · 9 months ago
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Honest to god grabbed the first image of Them I had downloaded and it fit like a glove.
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detective-ws · 1 year ago
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yum
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noisytenant · 9 months ago
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sake is wine's good twin
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exoshroommie · 1 year ago
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i am making great strides with my exocolonist cook book. next step: try to make soysweets!
thank you @elvexen for making the inspiration for this project!! (this post)
I've decided to make them flavored like various ingredients in the game. only mango soysweets are said to exist i think, but why not have some fun!!! :)
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hazellight11 · 9 months ago
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Tonight's a Full Bottle Of Sparkling Grape Juice (Directly From The Bottle) kind of night I think
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wyvernne · 1 year ago
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in other news i randomly remembered grape stomping is a thing and you better believe that’s going in a fic
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beeapocalypse · 2 years ago
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orphanage party talk. a single contained shriek over this
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thomas-mvller · 4 months ago
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I am 100% convinced some brands put harmless yet useless components into tubes, promote them by (cleverly?) combining an array of words related to skin care and sell it as such. In this essay I will-
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bitchkay · 4 months ago
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One of these days all three of the cereal bowls will be in the cupboard at the same time
Today is just not that day
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teaboot · 7 months ago
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Almighty Tumblr user Teaboot, what is your wisdom?
uh
You don't have to eat the gross jellybeans, you can just eat the ones you like, they have no nutritional value so there's nothing wrong with tossing em, candy is for fun not for food
Spiders and other household bugs are repulsed by cedar and lavender- you can get cedar balls online like how people used to sell mothballs and use em to keep spiders out of your closet
When you unplug an appliance from a wall there may still be an electrical charge in it for a sec so don't touch the metal end of the plug or you might get zapped a bit
Tiger's eye gems are a type of asbestos so if you crack or chip your tiger's eye you should probably not wear it anymore idk I'm not a rock scientist
If you wanna stay warmer when camping you should leave your sleeping bag rolled up until the moment you go to bed cause the fabric can absorb humidity in the air and make it damp and colder. Also fresh socks before you go to bed, even if your day ones still seem dry
Rayon, Viscose, and Lyocell are all made of plant fibers
Capsaicin is fat soluble, so if you eat something too spicy then drinking milk or cream will wash it away better than water. Swishing with vinegar should also work too if you're desperate
Fish are WAY more maintenance than you think they are. Goldfish can live well over a decade under proper care. Fish are not "easy" pets for the love of God. And they're smarter than you think they are
People having seizures are not going to swallow their tongue. At worst they may bite it. Hitting their head on something is a far bigger risk. Don't put shit in their mouth.
Children are more sensitive to bitter tastes as an evolutionary safety measure against accidental poisoning. If theycdont like eating something because it's bitter, remember that the taste is stronger to them.
Most symptoms of hauntings are also symptoms of gas leaks and black mold. Whether or not you believe in ghosts you should probably check you're not being poisoned before you drop money on a spirit medium
Purple skittles are grape flavour in some places like North America and blackcurrant in places like the UK. I personally prefer blackcurrant
Saguaro cacti can weigh literal tons and will crush you to death if they fall on you
Palm trees are technically grass
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jellyfishsthings · 24 days ago
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Miscommunication is key
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navigation , dc navigation
WARNINGS: funny miscommunication, the kids love you (maybe a bit too much)
requests are open
dividers by @cafekitsune
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It started, as all catastrophes in the Manor did, with eavesdropping.
Tim was in the hallway, allegedly “cleaning the thermostat” (read: tweaking the heat setting so Steph would stop stealing his hoodies), when he heard voices coming from Bruce’s office. Your voice. And Bruce’s.
Tim had no idea what the argument was actually about. Something about boundaries? Trust? Printer ink? But the tension in your tone made his stomach clench. When Bruce said, “Maybe we need to take a step back,” Tim’s heart dropped.
He called an emergency family meeting in the Batcave.
“Dad and Mom are getting divorced.”
Jason looked up from his sandwich. “They’re not even married.”
“Details!” Tim cried, pacing like a war general. “We could still be split up! This is how it starts. A little coldness, a few missed dinners, then boom—visitation schedules and emotional trauma.”
Dick blinked. “Do we... get split up?”
“Technically, no,” Damian said. “We’re all legally tied to Father. Except for Jason and Stephanie.”
“What happens to us?!”
“Don’t panic,” Steph said, reading from her tablet. “Worst case scenario, we stage a legal rebellion and declare the manor a sovereign child-state.”
“Or,” Tim said, eyes wide, “we get adopted. By Mom.”
Silence.
Then chaos.
“She’d never say no to me,” Dick said confidently.
“I’ll bribe her with cookies,” Jason offered.
Damian narrowed his eyes. “I call emotional manipulation.”
Cass held up a whiteboard: Why not all of us?
So it was decided: Operation Adoption began at dawn.
They convened in the attic. Because the Batcave was under Bruce’s territory, and this was neutral ground.
Dick paced.
Damian sharpened a pencil aggressively.
Cass ate grapes and watched everyone like she was waiting for someone to cry.
Stephanie had already made t-shirts. “Team Mom 4 Lyfe.”
"We need a plan," Tim said, eyes red from Googling "how to stop a divorce you caused by being a messy adult child."
Jason held up a sheet of paper. “What if we ask her to adopt us?”
Dead silence.
Damian blinked. “You mean legally abandon Father?”
Jason shrugged. “It’s called strategic custody realignment.”
Phase One: Woo the Parent
You found your morning coffee already made.
By lunch, your office had been vacuumed, your planner color-coded, and a tray of Damian’s surprisingly excellent macarons appeared on your desk. Something was clearly up.
Dick followed you around like a golden retriever. “You look radiant today. New serum? Or just naturally ageless?”
“You want something,” you said flatly.
“Who, me?” he asked, wounded. “I’m just basking in the presence of my favorite future legal guardian.”
You blinked. “What?”
Jason appeared in the doorway. “Can I interest you in... a bribe?” He held up an embarrassing baby photo of Bruce in a sailor outfit.
“Jason—”
“Don’t make us pick sides in the fake divorce!”
“What fake divorce?!”
“Mom” Steph said, slipping in dramatically, “we’re prepared to make a case. Visitation is a nightmare, and you make the best pancakes. We’ve chosen you. Please accept custody of all emotionally damaged gremlins present.”
You stared at the room of hopeful, slightly unhinged faces.
“Did Bruce put you up to this?”
“Not unless he’s also asking for custody of Alfred,” Tim muttered.
Then Tim slid to you a small note, like they did in those spy movies he liked,  that said "Meet us in the living room in five"
Phase Two: The Pitch
The moment you entered the living room, the lights dimmed.
“Hello?”
Dick dropped from the ceiling.
Literally.
“Hi,” he said cheerfully, landing in a perfect split. “Can we talk?”
All five of them appeared like spirits of guilt, blocking your path to the kitchen. You sat them all down. “Okay. Walk me through your logic.”
Tim pulled out a graph titled Projected Emotional Outcomes Based on Custodial Assignment.
Jason had prepared a PowerPoint. “Slide one: Why Mom is the Superior Parent.”
Slide two: A chart comparing your hugs to Bruce’s handshake-head-pat combo.
Slide three: An animated pie labeled “Pancakes.”
Damian presented a legal document signed in crayon: WE THE CHILDREN CHOOSE THE COOLER PARENT.
“Steph notarized it,” he added.
“She forged my signature,” You whispered.
Steph held up a PowerPoint remote. The TV flashed on. First slide: "Why You Should Keep Us In The Event Of Inevitable Divorce."
You blinked. “Excuse me—what?”
Tim cleared his throat. “We’ve noticed rising tensions in your domestic interactions.”
Cass handed you a binder titled Custody Proposal: Draft 1.
Dick pointed at a bar graph. “Notice that under your influence, emotional stability in the household has increased by 46%. And we’ve had fewer vigilante-related injuries. Except Jason. But he’s a wild card.”
Jason saluted with a juice box.
You pinched the bridge of your nose. “You think Bruce and I are getting divorced because we argued?”
Damian crossed his arms. “Historically, that is how war begins. ”
Cass stood.
She held up flashcards. One had a stick figure with a cape hugging a heart. Another said ‘We Love You.��
Then she did the unthinkable.
She signed: Please don’t leave us.
Stephanie wiped away a tear. “It’s not manipulation if it’s true.”
Then Cass handed you a video montage she’d edited titled “Adoption: A Love Story,” scored with sweeping instrumental music and slow-mo scenes of you handing out snacks.
Damian climbed onto your lap. “You’re warm and you smell like cinnamon. That’s mom stuff.”
Your heart cracked, then melted.
“I’m not leaving Bruce,” you said gently. “We were arguing about printer ink.”
Silence.
“...Printer ink?” Tim asked weakly.
“He keeps buying magenta in bulk! Who uses that much magenta?!”
The kids slowly looked at one another.
“Abort mission,” Dick said.
“Too late,” Cass signed. “I already filed the motion with the fake Batkid Court.”
“Look,” you said, softening, “you don’t need to panic. Even if Bruce and I ever did break up, you’re not losing me.”
“Promise?” Tim whispered.
You cupped his face. “Swear it.” 
Jason sat beside you on the couch. “I get it if you ever want to get a divorce. Bruce is...Bruce. But you? You’re the only one who remembers to buy snacks we actually like. You’re the one who puts notes in my lunch that say, ‘Don’t stab anyone, even if they deserve it.’ That’s love.”
Dick: “And you help Bruce. Even if he’s being a Bat-Butt.”
Damian knelt. “Legally, I am already a Wayne. But if you filed paperwork, I would accept a hyphen.”
You couldn’t breathe.
Pause.
“So you’re saying we wasted $40 on matching ‘Adopt Me’ t-shirts?”
Later that night, you walked into Bruce’s study and flopped dramatically onto the couch.
“Your children tried to get me to adopt them today.”
He looked up from his paperwork. “Just today?”
“They had charts.”
He nodded. “Ah. The charts phase. Comes right before the emotional blackmail.”
You stared. “This has happened before?”
“Oh, absolutely. You’re the third person they’ve tried it with.”
You gasped. “Who was the second?”
“Alfred.”
You considered this. “They have good taste.”
Bruce smiled faintly. “They love you. That’s all this was. A weird, mildly terrifying love letter.”
You leaned back. “I almost said yes.”
“You still can. We’ll co-parent.”
“Until the magenta ink breaks us.”
He chuckled, kissed your forehead, and added, “Alfred already drafted the adoption paperwork. Just in case.”
Outside the study, eight Batkids listened through the door, celebrating silently.
“See?” Dick whispered. “Still a family.”
Jason wiped away a fake tear. “Group hug?”
“No,” Damian said. “But I will allow a high-five.”
Cass gave him one. It was perfect.
And the family stayed very much intact.
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snoopyracing · 6 months ago
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grapes and good fortune — ln4
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pairing: lando norris x reader word count: 4.7k warnings: swearing and alcohol use includes: friends to lovers, mutual pining, and fluff summary: when your plan to find love on new year's eve doesn't work a certain someone may just fix those plans.
masterlist
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
It’s not the end of the world to be single. You’ve gone your whole life technically being single– each guy you’ve had a thing with never resulted in a full fledged relationship. It never really seemed to bother you that much, you’d learned to be more independent and learned that your time is in fact more valuable than men think. Though, as the years passed and your friends started to get into serious relationships you couldn’t help but feel a little left behind.
You knew everyone’s time would come and seriously you were in your early to mid twenties – you still had a whole lifetime ahead of you. But the third wheeling you seemed to be a professional at by now was starting to get embarrassing. Also, holidays just really seemed to suck while being single. You knew there was more to life than being in a relationship, but god dammit you’re a human. You crave love and affection and no matter how independent you are– you still want to love and be loved. 
Your friend group had unsuccessfully tried setting you up with more guys than you could count. Each one you really did try and give a chance, but there was nothing there. You didn’t think you had high standards by any means, but if you didn’t feel anything with these guys then why waste your time? 
“You went on how many dates this month and none of them piqued your interest?” Your friend grills you as the two of you are sitting on the balcony of your apartment. You’d come back from another unsuccessful date and decided to drown your sorrows with a bottle of wine and a yapping session. 
“Genuinely think there might be something wrong with me at this point.” You complain as you sip the sweet wine in your glass. 
“There isn’t anything wrong with you.” The two dates a week for the past month say different, but you weren’t going to actually disclose that number to her. “Maybe your heart has already laid claim to someone else?” 
“I think I would know if I was in love with someone.” She doesn’t say anything, but the way she inconspicuously sips her wine is telling you what she’s wanting to say. “Not this again.” 
She puts her hands up in defense all while having a shit eating grin on her face. “I didn’t even say anything, but you immediately assuming that’s who I’m talking about says it all.” 
“I’m not in love with Lando.” 
Yes you were. 
“I mean he’s one of my closest friends and it would just make things weird. He also for sure does not look at me in any way other than platonic. He’s got models flocking to him and literally thousands of other girls– I couldn’t compete.” Your friend remains silent once again as she sips her wine and watches the scene in front of her unfold. “Ok– just because I drunkenly admitted last year that I might possibly have a little tiny miniscule amount of feelings towards him does not mean I’m in love with him.” 
“Yes it does.” Your friend replies without missing a beat. 
“No it doesn’t” You say with a huff. 
“Y/N, babe. You don’t see what everyone else sees and maybe your brain is trying to protect itself from the small chance of destruction, but you two are so in love it’s actually ridiculous.” 
“I don’t think he’s looking for a relationship right now. If this season so far is any indication of what next season is gonna be like, do you really think he’ll want a serious relationship to juggle too?” You’d chugged the last bit of wine in your glass and immediately filled it back up. 
A loud scoff comes from your friend. “With some girl he just met? No. You are a whole different story though. You two have history and are quite literally each other’s person. Two peas in a pod. Match made in heaven.” 
You didn’t understand why your friend was so adamant about Lando and you getting together. What if it ended in flames and your friend group is stuck having to play children of divorce? You don’t want that. 
“Do you hear yourself right now? I think you’ve had too much wine because that’s not true.” 
She sits up on the edge of the wicker couch with an annoyed expression painted across her face  “Do you hear yourself? I’ve never seen someone deny themselves happiness like you.” 
“I don’t think I have actual feelings for Lando though. I really think it’s just because we are the only two single people in our friend group and it’s like I feel obligated to somehow have feelings for him. I just need to find the right person and whatever I may be feeling about Lando will go away.” 
If someone could professionally roll their eyes your friend would be a pro. “You’ve already found the right person though!”
Before you can argue back for the hundredth time tonight the familiar tune of an incoming facetime call fills the air. Your phone that’s sitting on the glass coffee table lights up and Lando’s face fills the screen. You glance over at your friend who’s got a smirk on her face that could rival the Cheshire Cat. 
“Speak of the devil.” She laughs. 
You let it ring, fully knowing that if you answer it your friend will be insufferable the whole time you’re talking to him. You do send him a quick text to make sure everything's alright and of course he immediately responds with-
everything's all right.. just missed you is all. 
Which has you locking your phone and stuffing it in the pocket of your hoodie. When you reach for your glass and realize it’s empty again you decide to just grab the bottle and drink straight from it. 
“Drinking from the bottle because you’ve come to terms with how dumb you’ve been?” Your friend teases. 
“Nope. It’s from having to deal with you all evening.” 
Alright so maybe you did have actual feelings for Lando, but you were never going to fully admit that to your friend or anyone else for that matter. You didn’t want to risk ruining what you two already had, which was an amazing friendship. So for the following months you continue to go on an endless amount of dates and with each one that fails your friend's voice rings in your mind.
Maybe you wouldn’t be able to find someone else if you subconsciously compared every guy to Lando. They were never funny enough or charming enough or took themselves too seriously. In the end it was simply the fact that they weren’t Lando. So maybe your heart had already dug its claws into Lando, but you weren’t going to give up without one last battle. 
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
New Year's Eve. The final night of the year and the one party of the year that celebrates ends and beginnings. You’d hoped that with the plan you had for tonight that your streak of horrible dates would end and the next one would be the one. The trend of eating twelve grapes under a table at midnight on New Year’s Eve had been all over your social media. According to the internet if you were to do this you’d find love or your soulmate the following year– which was something you were so desperate for. So, your said plan was to bring some grapes with you and find a table to sit under. 
As you were taking one last final look in the mirror a familiar British accent echoed through your apartment. “Are you almost ready?” 
You quickly slipped on your heels and grabbed your bag off the dresser, but by the time you turned around there stood Lando, leaning against your doorframe with a slight smirk on his face. “Been waiting forever. It’s gonna be next year by the time we get out of here.” 
His teasing, which usually always got a reaction out of you, was ignored. The sight of him had you frozen in your tracks for a moment. He had on a white button up, which he always looked good in, but it was the couple of undone buttons at the top and the necklace you got him for his birthday last year around his neck that got your attention. There was always something about seeing Lando in things you got him that made that funny feeling bloom in your stomach. Perhaps it was the fact that everytime he chose to wear them you knew he was thinking about you and that when he was away a part of you was always with him. 
“Quit staring.” 
You're knocked out of your trance and the blush that creeps onto your cheeks from getting caught is almost as embarrassing as being caught. “I wasn’t staring. I was admiring my good taste. Should have gotten one myself.” You try to play it off and push your way past him with what little amount of confidence you have at the moment. 
“I’ll get it for you, then we can be matching.” Lando says as he follows behind you. 
“I can buy it myself.” 
“Yeah, but I’m still gonna get it for you anyways.”
You stop in the kitchen and grab the little bag of grapes out of the fridge. “I don’t need you to get it for me Lan.” You’re too preoccupied with figuring out how to fit everything into your small purse to see the utterly confused look on Lando’s face. 
“Ok forget about the necklace. Why the hell are you bringing grapes with you?” 
“Incase I get hungry.” You reply without missing a beat. 
“There will literally be food at the party. I even made sure Max got those little cocktail sausages you like.” 
And there he goes again, making those feelings you’ve tried and are still presently trying to push down come to the surface all because of some damn cocktail sausages. “I appreciate that Lan, but I’ve been on a grape kick lately. Just can’t seem to get enough of them.” 
With your purse finally closed with the grapes securely inside, you head towards the door, more than ready to get to the party. 
“I’ll text Max and tell him to get some grapes delivered.” Lando mumbles as he closes the door behind him. 
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
You’d never considered yourself much of a party girl, but there must have been something in the air tonight because you were living it up. From the dancing to the drinking and then to top it off somehow in the middle of everything you showed off your DJing skills with Lando. 
Somehow you’d managed to unglue yourself from Lando for a moment and ended up in the kitchen among the various kinds of alcohol. You’re pouring the last bit of coke into your coke and malibu when Max comes up beside you. 
“I see you finally escaped from Lando for a moment.” 
An airy laugh emits from you. “Yeah, he’s been a little clingy tonight.” You state as you turn and lean back against the counter, facing the large crowd of people. 
Max copies your actions, but not before grabbing a beer. “What are you talking about tonight? When he’s back home it’s like you two are conjoined at the hip.”  Which was true, but you didn’t get to see Lando as much as you’d like, so you make the most of what you can. “Oh forgot to tell you, your grapes are in the fridge.” He motions towards the stainless steel appliance with his beer bottle. “Lando better pay me back. Do you know how much I paid to get that damn bag delivered? Absolutely insane.” 
Your mouth forms an ‘O’ shape at Max’s words. “I heard him mention something about asking you to get some when we were leaving. I thought he was just joking.” 
Max scoffs. “There is no such thing as Lando joking when it comes to you. Think he’d chop off his own arm to make sure you were happy. Hell if you needed an organ he’d be the first one in line to give you one.” 
This time it’s your turn to scoff. “No he wouldn’t.” 
“Why do you do that?” Max groans. 
You narrow your eyes at him, confused as to what he was referring to. “Do what?” 
“Act like he doesn’t think the world of you.” 
Your mouth opens to reply, but no words come out. Instead you bring your cup to your lips and fill the void with your drink. What Max had said was true, but you couldn’t help it. You figured if you forced yourself to think that Lando didn’t care that deeply about you, then those feelings that you harbor for him wouldn’t rise to the surface. It didn’t help that his behavior recently had you thinking that perhaps he felt the same about you and when you have your mutual friends in your ear implying that to be true it just makes things that much harder for you. 
“You probably haven’t even noticed that he’s been practically watching us talk this whole time have you?” 
You can feel your heart rate start to speed up just at the thought of it. As your eyes scan the room they finally land on the Brit standing in the corner with some other people, but he’s not actually engaging in the conversation, he’s too busy staring back at you. Somehow from across the room you can still see those pretty mixture of blue and green eyes of his sparkle and when he realizes you're finally looking back at him a shy smile spreads across his face before he’s quickly looking away. 
“Wish you two would stop dancing around each other and just admit what we all already know.” Max mumbles before taking a swig of his beer. 
Maybe it’s the mixture of alcohol and the fact that you’ve once again got someone in your ear about Lando and you, but you can sense those feelings starting to claw their way back up and you aren’t sure if you can push them back down tonight. 
“Ten minutes until midnight!” The DJ’s voice travels through the apartment and you’re sure Max will be getting some kind of fee taped to his door in the morning. 
Max says something about talking to you later before exiting the kitchen and you realize with ten minutes till midnight that you’ve got to get your grapes and find a table to fit under. For the moment you push Lando to the back of your mind and focus on your very important task at hand. 
Luckily for you Max had a decently sized dining table in his apartment so with your grapes in hand you crawled under the table, which thankfully was shielded by a tablecloth, and settled in for your feast. 
Lando on the other hand had been searching for you everywhere since the ten minute announcement. He’d literally just seen you in the kitchen with Max and then when he looked back again you were both gone. He’d gone in the bathrooms, the bedrooms, the closets, every single place he could think you would be and it’s like you had vanished. Max had a large apartment, especially to be living in London, but it wasn’t that big to allow for you to not be found. His texts to you had gone unanswered and he began to think maybe you had left, but he knew you would have told him if you were leaving, so that theory went out the window. 
When the five minute announcement hit his ears he began asking people if they had seen you and with each no or i think she was in the kitchen a while ago he received his hopes of finding you before midnight started to diminish. 
He’d finally worked up the courage to tell you how he’d felt tonight. After years of holding himself back and not wanting to ruin what you two already had, he’d decided that life was too short and that he would come to regret not allowing himself to truly love you like he should. He knew you were the one and there wasn’t a bone in his body that didn’t think you didn’t feel the same. So, he was finally going to bite the bullet tonight and he wanted you to be the person he was kissing as the clock struck twelve. But if he couldn’t find you, then how in the world was he supposed to do that? 
Lando was honestly starting to get worried over not being able to find you, screw the whole love confession at this point. What if something had happened to you? He’d been all over Max’s place countless times and he still couldn’t find you. With the official countdown echoing through the apartment he decided to just say fuck it and head to your place and see if you had gone home.
As he was heading to get his coat a familiar sparkly heel sticking out from under the dining table caught his attention. It was the same type of heels he’d seen you put on earlier and he did somewhat of a double take. He wondered if it was the couple drinks he’d had messing with him because why would you be sitting under Max’s dining table? 
He crouches down and slowly lifts the table cloth up, unsure of what he’s going to find underneath it. Everyone is only getting louder and with five seconds until midnight what he finds staring back at him under the table is not at all how he expected his night to end up. There you are with your now empty bag of grapes on the floor and your cheeks stuffed full of said grapes. You resemble something of a chipmunk and Lando can’t help but laugh at you. 
“What the hell are you doing down here?” 
The excessively loud shouting of happy new year from everyone while noise makers and confetti fill the air distract both Lando and you for a moment. He didn’t think this is the position he’d be in right now, he figured he’d be in that crowd with his lips on yours like so many others right now. While you on the other hand didn’t think you’d be caught in such an embarrassing situation, not to mention you hadn’t even gotten all your grapes down, so this stupid thing was probably all for nothing. 
His attention is back on you in no time and he really wants to know what you were doing. Were you that addicted to grapes that you had to hide under the table while you got your fix? If so, he may need to have a talk with you. 
“Seriously, why are you hiding under the table stuffing grapes into your mouth?” He prods again. 
Your mouth is still so full of the grapes that you can’t really talk and all you can manage to get out is leave while simultaneously trying to jab his leg with your heel. You were embarrassed and at this point scared you might choke on the grapes, and you’d rather go out in peace then have Lando cause a scene because you were choking. 
“Ouch!” Lando yelps as your heel finally makes contact with him. You know he’s being dramatic because you barely even kicked him, but you would try anything for him to drop that table cloth and let you be. “Come on, come out from under there.” Lando grabs your arm and practically forces you to come out from under the table.
Luckily, everyone else was too preoccupied with still ringing in the New Year to see you crawl out and as you dust yourself off you're still chomping on the last couple grapes left. The party only seems to be getting crazier and you don’t really feel like staying here until the party inevitably ends at an ungodly hour in the morning, especially now that your plan for love has undoubtedly failed. 
You finally swallow the last couple grapes and take a deep breath, the fear of choking and embarrassment now behind you. “Do you care if I leave? Not really feeling the party that much anymore.” 
Lando doesn’t even question your request. “I’ll walk you home, let me grab our coats and tell Max we are leaving.” 
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
The cold England air hits you as you exit Max’s apartment building and you’re thankful that your place isn’t very far from his. It’s silent between Lando and you for some time, the sound of your heels on the pavement, fireworks in the distance, and other people celebrating are the only things you two hear. 
“Can I ask you something?” Lando finally breaks the silence. 
“Shoot.” 
He takes a deep breath fully knowing once he opens this locked away side of him that there’s no going back. “Have you ever thought about us?” 
You feel your heart skip a beat at his question, yet you try to remain cool and collected. “What do you mean?” 
He stops in his tracks causing you to mimic his actions. “Like,” he motions between the two of you, “us.”
There’s not a doubt in your mind about what he’s referring to and yes you do think about the two of you. Yet your brain feels scrambled once you're actually confronted with the possibility of Lando feeling the same as you. You’d tried so hard to ignore the feelings, hell you’d tried something you saw on the internet to hopefully bring a different man into your life to finally squash those feelings. You’d just never thought you’d be in this position though and it’s throwing you into a whirlwind. 
Lando isn’t sure what your silence means and he figures he’s already started, he might as well just fully admit it at this point. 
“Fuck it. I told myself I was going to do this tonight and I’m not gonna chicken out again.” His cheeks are rosy from the cold and you can tell by the way his pretty eyes dart all around your face that he’s trying to figure out how to say what he wants to say. “I’ve got feelings for you.” He finally blurts out.
“No scratch that I’m in love with you Y/N. Think I have been for some time now. I’ve tried telling you how I felt for what seems like ages, but I’ve always been too scared to. I’ve been afraid that you wouldn’t feel the same and to me I’d rather bottle up my feelings and keep you in my life then tell you how I feel and lose you. But clearly I’ve grown tired of that and realized that the reward would be higher than the risk. You’re my person Y/N. I couldn’t imagine life without you and to have you be mine would make life that much better. So here I am baring my heart to you on some street in London on New Year’s Eve. I actually had a whole plan on how I was-” 
His rambling while you loved most of the time was cut off by your desire to shut him up with your lips on his and you did just that. You grabbed him by his coat and pulled him into you, your lips crashing together. It takes him a moment to realize what's happening, but when his brain finally starts to work and he kisses you back it’s everything you could have imagined and more.
Kissing Lando is like heaven on Earth and the way his soft lips feel against yours has you wishing you would have just stopped being so stubborn and listened to your friends ages ago. His large warm hands come out of his pockets and he cups your face as he deepens the kiss, which has you feeling lightheaded and warm all over. 
There’s fireworks being let off not too far away that light up the sky above you, but you’re too engrossed in each other to pay them much mind. It’s truly like a scene straight out of a movie and you know you’ll remember this moment forever. 
You two finally pull away to breathe and it’s like you can see the world in a whole new way. The depressing grey landscape of London in the winter time suddenly looks like it was painted in technicolor and neither of you can wipe the cheek hurting grin off your faces. “So I guess you feel the same?” He asks. 
“Yes Lando Norris, I’m in love with you too. Have been for a while and like you I didn’t want to ruin what we already have. To me there was no possible way that you felt the same and I hate rejection and the idea of losing you. So, I went on a million dates trying to find someone that would replace how I felt about you, but I guess you can’t replace someone who your heart has already laid claim to.” 
You feel Lando intertwine your fingers with his and it’s like everything just feels right in the world. 
“I’m glad we stopped being so stubborn and that I don’t have to see you out with all those random guys anymore.” 
“Believe me, none of them even came close to comparing to you. It was like going on a date with a sack of potatoes most of the time.” 
His infectious laugh fills your ears and you feel your heart swell. You can’t believe this was what you were depriving yourself of for so long. 
The rest of the walk back to your apartment is spent walking hand in hand. All while little giggles escape each of you ever so often and Lando occasionally kisses you on the head or lifts your intertwined hands up to plant a kiss there. 
“I have to ask again. It’s really been bugging me. What were you doing under that table?” Lando asks as you near your apartment building. A loud groan emits from you and there isn’t anything less that you would want to talk about than that. “Come on, just tell me!” 
“Fine! I saw this thing on the internet that if you eat twelve green grapes under a table at midnight that it’s supposed to bring you luck in the love department in the New Year. Like you’d find your soulmate or something. I was so desperate to try and get over these feelings I have for you so what we had wouldn’t be ruined that I was willing to try anything.” 
He’s silent for a moment and then he looks at you with the biggest smile on his face. “Well I’d say it worked didn’t it? You’ve found love and not to be overzealous, but I’d say your soulmate too.” 
You’re stunned for a moment when you realize that yes, the grapes did work, just not in the way you planned. The universe had put Lando in your life years ago and for some weird reason had you wait this long to finally truly be in one another's lives, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Hell, you’d eat a whole package of grapes if that meant Lando and you got to be together in every lifetime. 
“They did, didn't they? I guess almost choking to death was worth it in the end.” 
“I mean I know I’m every woman’s dream, but you didn’t almost have to kill yourself to get my attention baby.” 
You playfully slap his arm as he laughs at you. That big head of his was sometimes fully ego and you realized you were going to have to put up with it all the time now. “Oh shut up.” 
“Yeah, but you love me.” He states before pressing a kiss to your lips, which has your mind feeling like TV static once again. 
When you pull away and look him in the eyes there’s nothing but pure love staring back at you and you know that this is who is meant to be in your life, till the end. “More than you’ll ever know.” 
The next morning you receive a group text from Max with Lando and you in it.  
max: why have i found an empty bag with what looks to be a grape stem in it under my dining table??? i fully know it was one of you.
you: i don’t know what you're talking about. 
lando: me either. no grapes were consumed by us last night. must have been someone else. 
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