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mixelation · 10 months

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on the hiraishin in reborn au ->

this isn't necessarily the "canon" i'd use for every fic but: i decided the hiraishin markers can only be used by minato, and also he can only use ones he makes himself. i think with the way i set things up in plasticity, it's probably a chakra compatibility thing, so someone else could paint one using his chakra and then he could use it (and that person couldn't). so During The War kushina was helping him put them on kunai en masse, but "minato can only use ones he makes himself" is how most people understand it

also, the marker itself isn't the technique. it's only a guide for him to use the technique. tobirama's markers look different, so i think the shape of the marker is pretty malleable? he doesn't necessarily have to get every brush stroke exactly right, so he can make them on the fly, but he'd have to retrain himself pretty thoroughly to start using a new type of marker.

i'm going with these rules bc it explains why he left a bunch of markers that never fade all over the place without any anxiety that anyone would steal the technique. it's because it'd be like trying to reinvent a plane using the runway as your guide, and then it wouldn't even be able to use the same runway. like, if you were going to manage it, you were going to manage it regardless of if you'd studied the runway or not, and you'd have to build a new runway to boot.

okay, so. does tori reverse engineer the a plane with just a runway? no, that's nigh impossible. she does something worse. :)

so for mutagenicity i want tori to be a little bit fascinated with time-space jutsu, because they're one of the more complex branches of fuinjutsu, and she's never explored it before. like storage is technically space-time stuff, but also not really. she doesn't know a lot about it.

when she's little and living with the utano clan, someone brings back one of minato's kunai and sticks it in a chakra-proof box they have. and i'm thinking after all the clans merge into a village and orochimaru slowly starts picking off former leadership so he can be the undisrupted ruler of otogakure, tori manages to steal the box. she spends some time studying the kunai and its marker and she's like: hmm yeah if anything this is like 0.8% of a technique. disappointing. she does go to orochimaru and is like: hey when u stole a bunch of konoha techniques did u also happen to steal the hirashin. and he's like omg wtf no. lmao. you tihnk i'd be here if i knew that?? and tori internally is like: hmm yeah he would have killed hiruzen already if he could teleport. or at least be off bothering anko once a week

she gets to learn more about space-time fuinjutsu with kushina because they're using one to transport ibiki. and she's like well why SHOULDN'T i ask about hiraishin what else would a twelve year old do. and kushina is like AAAWW yeah everyone wants to know <3 but it's top secret and also way out of your league baby genin :)

and at the fallout of the mission, when she and deidara have to manually drag ibiki out of the village because the only transport jutsu tori knows requires one other person and that person was kidnapped in front of her and itachi is off saving her, tori is pissed. so she draws minato's marker on a wall and the message "can you find them all? ;)" which is pretty funny psychological warfare in that it makes iwa desperately search every inch of itself for markers that don't exist, but also minato doesn't actually gain access to iwa. (i know, less fun)

but i decided tori doesn't know this when she did it, so when someone explain it to her she's like "WELL WHY CAN'T HE USE OTHER PEOPLE'S CHAKRA" because her whole thing is hijacking other people's chakra. but at this point she has not adequately demonstrated or explain this to kushina OR minato so she gets what they feel is an age and skill appropriate answer and she feels is a deeply condescending non-answer. also minato makes her cool genjutsu proofing seal forbidden >:(

years pass, tori opens up and learns to trust, minato has to forbid a bunch more seals and every day gains more white hairs, etc etc. and i was thinking "if her arc is about learning to trust, we need some moments to Test Her" and "what could give tori a melt down"

so i decided it might be fun to play around with a mission where her teammates straight up leave her for dead. i'm still rotating details, like what exactly happens and how bad it is emotionally. (is it malicious? just a cowardly call? someone picking the mission over tori?) but i have decided it's some other inconsequential non-canon team, and she's "left for dead" but still has enough time to sit there and contemplate that this happened to her but also can't get out. think locked in an underground room slowly filling with water or something.

now, tori is a creature who runs on stress and spite. so these are actually the ideal conditions for her come up with her best ideas. she knows minato's hiraishin markers work as a homing beacon for a transportation jutsu, she knows a shit ton more about transportation jutsu now, she knows the specific properties of his chakra and has done extensive research on how to adjust fuinjutsu to work with different types of chakra, and also she's been spitefully rotating this problem in her brain like a rotisserie chicken, so she's like. actually i can hijack minato's hiraishin.

she draws up his marker and makes a truly cursed seal around it, concentrates on konoha, and voila! she manages to teleport to a forest in fire country.

also, halfway across the country, she's just scared the every loving shit out of minato, who immediately shows up to investigate, rasengan waving.

tori: (SCREAMS)

minato: ???? prove who you are >:(

tori has been freaking out and will continue to freak out for several more days, because she was finally feeling safe, like she had a home, and she just nearly died because actually you CAN'T trust people you haven't thoroughly vetted, and also the goddamn yellow flash just nearly murdered her, and and and---

luckily minato calms down much more quickly once tori stutters out her verification codes. yes, okay. tori figuring reverse-engineering hiraishin was nightmare #1, but actually his TRUE fear should have been someone hijacking his markers because they're in his home and on his family, but that should have been impossible, so thank you tori for showing him true fucking fear. but actually by this point he low-key figured learning True Fear would come from someone on team 4, if not his own family, so why not. so he listens to her barely cohesive story about being betrayed by her team.

because she solved her problem via teleportation, she actually beats the rest of her team home by a week. so minato is like: okay, I believe that you are telling your truth, but as hokage I have to investigate and listen to both sides of the story. so why don't you lay low at my place and we'll wait and see what your team says when they get back. so he dumps her at his house and then goes to look up the new seal that she hooked up remotely??? and yes she did do that, and she DID do it in a cave now completely submerged, and he destroys and at teleports back and has to rethink his life.

(while this is happening, please imagine tori curled up n the uzumaki-namikaze house angrily drinking a juice box while naruto explains a comic he's reading to her)

and i think the eventual conclusion is minato decides he should have been retooling his marker every once in a while and he wants to have konoha-only ones so enemies who've seen his main one can't exploit that flaw, even if the chances of anyone repeating what tori did are EXTREMELY low. unfortunately that does mean he has to basically reteach himself the technique

minato, clapping tori on the shoulder: we can do it..... together <3

(also i haven't decided what happens to Team Traitor, in part because I haven't 100% decided what they do lol)

and so tori's trust in various people is reaffirmed but them acting totally cool even after she broke the hiraishin so bad that minato has to remake it for village security. also her jutsu gets so forbidden they're not even going to make any sort of record of it <3

naruto while they're waiting for minakushi to finish making dinner: why's my dad teaching YOU hiraishin?

tori: i hacked the cloud

naruto: he won't teach ME hiraishin

tori: do you want me to teach you to hack the cloud?

minato, in the kitchen: I HEARD THAT

#reborn au #tori: can i sit in a swivel chair with my back to them and then after they report me dead #tori: i turn around and go 'OR AM I?'#minato: NO.#minato: well.#minato: maybe

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my-castles-crumbling · 3 months

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Hi guys! Got an anon ask with some triggers, so I'm copying it here so I can put a 'read more.'

TW: ED, SH

Here's the original ask:

hey Cas!

hru today? <3

I rlly don’t wanna bother u but I just need some advice bc I’m in a pretty tricky situation and I don’t know who I couldn’t turn to who wouldn’t then tell OTHER people (adults etc)

also a TW b4 anyone reads further: ED (not me but a a friend) and generally bad mental health (including sh and sui)

Basically I have this friend (one of my best friends) who’s struggled with really bad mental health and attempted in the past (we weren’t friends during this time but they’ve shared it with me) they have told me they no longer sh but I’m not entirely sure if I believe him on that but I guess there’s nothing to do except just take their word for it and they are definitely doing better than they were before (about a year or two ago)

thing is this friend does still have a (pretty bad I think) ED (specifically I think they have anorexia but I’m really not sure because I don’t know that much about EDs. I’ve tried to do some research but it’s actually incredibly hard to find any info about them especially in terms of ways to emotionally show support. In a medical sense they always seemed to be talked about like minor things(?) idk it’s hard to explain but often times I’ve been reading actual factual medical stuff and just been disgusted at the ways it’s discussed, like they try so hard to describe it from a technical viewpoint that they essentially the entire mental health aspect of it which kind of demeans the whole thing bc EDs ARE a mental health disorder)

sorry went on a little side rant there but basically I’ve tried to find stuff out but it’s really hard to learn about the mental health aspect and even harder to find stuff out about how to HELP someone through an ED

I’ve even resorted to looking thru some more unsavoury places for info (including anablr), I know these types of places encourage EDs and I am actually not a person who really loves their body very much but I do think I’m in a strong enough place emotionally to do this (and so far I’ve been correct, I’m unaffected) because I just wanted some actual insight on what it’s like

the problem with my friend is that she’s ALREADY in therapy. Her parents put her in it when they found out about her vaping habit but they just lie all the time (she tells me about it) because they have like serious trust issues due to past trauma and I’m gonna be honest, I 100% believe therapy is a good thing but sadly it is also entirely useless if the person doesn’t make any effort to get better

all I can do in that aspect of it is hope the therapy is going better than the jokes he makes about it or that eventually she will feel comfortable enough to share and process her issues

in terms of the ED what im really lost with is how to help

and don’t get me wrong, I know you can’t really help a person who doesn’t want to be helped but honestly I’m not giving up on this person I care about that easily. I will NOT be another person in their life who abandons them for being ‘too much’ or ‘too difficult’. I’ve already accepted the fact that I will not be able to help them out of it really (as best as I can at least)

I’ve already taken to carrying gum and mints in my school bag as much as I can (usually I’ll have a pack of both and I just share them with everyone so this person doesn’t actually catch wind that they’re the reason I do as quite often when they skip lunch they do help themselves to a few of my mints or gum pieces but ik if they knew it was for them they’d stop bc she’s just like that)

I just don’t know how else to help emotionally though, I’m one of the only people (I might be the ONLY person at all) that they feel comfortable enough to talk to about these issues and I just think its better that they’re telling someone who cares about them and is trying to help than telling no one at all which seems to be the alternative. The issue is I don’t know how to respond or show support especially because (thank u trust issues and trauma (/s) the window of vulnerability is SMALL (I’m talking a couple of seconds literally) before they’re joking and changing the subject

Also a small (but frankly compared to the rest of this, not very important) detail is that like I previously mentioned I am also not suuuper happy with my body ( I don’t sh really or have an ED in any way shape or form) and sometimes the stuff he says slightly upsets me (just like once I told him about how my mean grandma told me I was fat and had to eat less and he said his grandma forces him to eat more and that my grandma ‘sounds like her wet dream’ - I know this was just a joke obviously but I didn’t rlly love it considering my grandma is a pretty big source of my looks based insecurities)

like I said in no way is it on the same level and obviously I know it’s not coming from a place of malice because this friend also really looks out for my mental health like way more than my other friends tbh (I don’t know if it’s bc they struggled with it or whether they’re the only one who seems to notice I’m the therapist friend haha but they are the FIRST person to ask if anything’s wrong if I’m acting different and I rlly want to stress that because I know that from what I’ve said so far they may have come across as selfish or something but they are actually one of the kindest people ever) that’s especially why I’m worried if I bring anything up about wanting to help with little things or especially anything about not being a fan of little jokes that she’ll just stop talking about it at all in an attempt to make me feel more comfortable)

for context for all of this, I’m 15 (we both are) so still in school and they’re parents absolutely SUCK (in the most non violent way possible I would like to kill them [not actually but I do really hate them and wish them only the worst]) so there’s no emotional support coming from home for him

I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about this in real life because (for privacy reasons) they’ve asked me not to share it with like my other friends and I don’t have the greatest relationship with my parents (they’re not like abusive or neglectful or anything but we just have a lot of differences and just I’ve very much emotionally distanced myself from them)

sorry if this is too much because I do know it’s a really tricky situation and even though all of us sort of deify you, you’re still only one person and if this does make you uncomfortable or upset (not just if it’s triggering I mean just in general if you’re reading this and you don’t feel comfortable) in anyway please don’t force yourself to answer or feel guilty if you don’t because the last thing I’d want to do is put you in that kind of position

Im not sure if ill send in more anons but if I do then ill refer to myself (and you can call me) lacy anon so you know who I am (yes after the song bc i rlly love it haha)

Anyway sending lots and lots of love from the person who does basically look up to you as their adult role model and who I wanna be like when I’m older <3

Hi love! You're not bothering me at all!

So, first, I want to let you know that I am an adult, but when I say this, I hope you don't take it as...condescending, I guess? Because I don't mean it that way at all. I want to be realistic in the fact that these things you are dealing with are VERY grown-up and scary, and you are handling them in a remarkably mature way, but you are still legally fifteen.

This is way too much for a fifteen year old to take on.

You genuinely seem like the most amazing person. The fact that you have done research and carry around things for your friends, all to help them with their ED is frankly restoring my faith in humanity a bit. But I worry that you are placing WAY too much of the responsibility on yourself. I don't mean to be bleak or too blunt, but if god forbid anything ever happened, I would hate for you to blame yourself, and it sounds like you would. Your job is to be this person's friend. Not their therapist or caretaker.

So, here's my advice: I absolutely agree that you should not give up on them! But make sure you have boundaries. It broke my heart to read that you were going to places like anablr just to help- that's not healthy for you! As a friend, especially at your age, your most important job is to make sure your friend doesn't feel alone. And you're doing an amazing job, in my opinion. They seem to be willing to talk to you, and that's a big deal. But, in the best way, you are fifteen, and you don't have to have all the answers! Sometimes, the best way to support someone is to remind them that they are loved and they have someone in their corner. BUT remember that being there for someone doesn't mean you have to sacrifice yourself or your mental health. Say something if a joke makes you uncomfortable. "I love you so much, but that joke makes me feel uncomfortable. Can you maybe not joke like that?" It's okay and healthy to set those boundaries.

Please remember, you are not responsible for this person. You can love them and be there for them and care deeply, but you are responsible for you and your own health. Don't forget you.

My last very gentle suggestion is this: If you ever get to the point that you are so genuinely worried about this friend that you think it is a life-or-death situation, please don't take that on by yourself. I know it is scary, and I know that telling adults mean that there can be ramifications, but remember that if you are genuinely scared, then an adult needs to be there to keep everyone safe. Very bluntly: Trust can be rebuilt but you can't bring people back from some other very permanent decisions.

Again, you are a wonderful person, and a fantastic friend. But remember to take yourself into account and stay safe in all ways. I know this is probably not the advice you want to hear, but I hope maybe you'll consider it.

Sending so much love! <3 <3 <3

#ask #asks #ask cas #tw: sh #tw: ed

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rhythm-of-space · 1 year

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How I imagine each of the boys sleep:

Josh:

Without you he tosses and turns, in and out of sleep until the sun comes up. When you're next to him, he clings to you. He has to have an arm and leg on you at all times, encompassed by your warmth. Despite him having his own, he manages to scoot so close he shares your pillow, mingling his scent with yours. He's content in any position, but his favorite is snuggling in, practically laying his body across yours. His leg over your hip and his chin fitted against the crook of your neck - he loves to be held. You've gotten used to the soft, murmured sounds he makes when he's drifting off and dreaming and his body weight makes you feel secure and restful as you pull him closer to your body if that's even possible; both of you sleeping soundly in each others arms, keeping each other safe from harm.

Danny:

He seems like a back sleeper, you curled up to his large frame, and a protective, soothing arm around your back that rubs small circles between your shoulder blades until you both drift off. His head usually resting on top of yours, he places small kisses there every so often to show his adoration and remind you that he's got you. He'll usually end up in a different position by the wake of morning, his tall stature curled up on its side making him look small and snug. Some of his curls have fallen out of the loose bun knotted the night before, cascading onto the pillow below him. The sun rays hit his highlights in the most serene, ethereal way you think you could stare at his peaceful, beautiful features all morning if you could help it. When he does blink his eyes open he'll immediately turn back into you, his head finding solace on your chest and his arms enveloping your form once again.

Sam:

Sleeping with Sam always comes with sleeping with Rose. You'll find them fast asleep, she's either at his feet or curled up by his chest, and his arm and leg is slung over her resting body. He sprawls out whether you're laying next to him or not - unaware or unbothered, Sam takes up a lot of space. Even though he technically stays on his side of the bed, pillows fluffed up and covers tucked in just how he likes it, some time during the night he manages to slither one of his legs out from under the duvet to balance out his body temperature. Bent at the knee, he'll unconsciously put his calf over yours, his cold foot sending a chill up your spine. But, your little family is comfy and content until morning, even if he doesn't understand the concept of personal space.

Jake:

With much of his time spent on the road or in empty hotel rooms, he has gotten accustomed to being alone at night. He's come to find peace in providing his own comfort and self-soothing. Even home, wrapped up in the love and warmth you provide, he prefers his own space. Staying on his side, being in his own bubble, maybe his own throw blanket slung over the shared duvet, creating his own warmth when needed. That said he can never go to bed without a bedtime snuggle and goodnight kiss. He loves that quality time with you as he settles for the night. Making sure you have everything you need, mumbled, sleepy words being passed back and forth, and leaving you with soft touches you often end up dreaming about. Sometimes in the middle of the night he'll reach over and interlock his fingers with yours, needing your presence to fully relax. You'll wake up with him in the same position - Jake in his own comfort but his hand never faltering from yours.

Thank you @sunfl0wer-power for helping me iron out some of the ideas 💛💛

If anyone else has written something like this, please send it my way - I'd love to read it and share it!!

#here's some blurbs I guess #jakes makes me feel warm inside #greta van fleet #greta van fleet fic #just a thought<3

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coolcattime · 3 months

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Duty, and Its Implications [Mianite Royalty AU Oneshot]

Relationships: Tom Syndicate/Jordan Captainsparklez

Characters: Jordan Captainsparklez, Tom Syndicate, Lady Ianite

Prince Jordan has always been the very image of a dutiful crown prince. He has never faulted in what is expected of him, making sure to uphold his kingdom’s ideals and traditions in the way that is both expected and admired in a future king. However, on this night, that of his official engagement to Lady Capsize, he can’t help but feel nervous about the situation he finds himself in. Despite his duty and how the engagement is for the good of his kingdom, he worries if he’s really ready or prepared for it.

Little does he or his surprise visitor in the form of Prince Tom know, he will not be engaged by the end of the night – and his doubt about his engagement will be put to the furthest reaches of his mind as now a far different issue faces him and threatens the peace between all three of the kingdoms.

AO3 Link

Mianite Royalty AU Tag

Prince Jordan was alone for the first time in as long as he could remember. The older he got, the more he was constantly surrounded by people, be they advisors, tutors, servants, governors, visiting nobles, his mother, his friends, or his fiancée. He was never alone, and he had never felt so thankful for that fact as he did now sitting alone in his room, the silence eating away at him. Tonight was the night, he and Lady Capsize would finally be officially engaged. Technically nothing was really changing, Capsize had been his fiancée for years now in terms of her education, duties, and living arrangements, but despite that his stomach wouldn’t settle. As he stared at his own reflection, he knew deep down that everything was about to change.

He looked the perfect image of a crown prince, not a single hair out of place. He was dressed in purples, as was traditional for his kingdom, deep purple jacket and pants embellished with golden embroidery that matched the golden crown he wore. He’d tried on the pieces so many times as they were being tailored, but actually seeing it now as a completed outfit felt different. It wasn’t dissimilar to outfits he had worn at previous balls, but his crown weighed heavier than it ever had before, especially as he stared at the family ring he was going to be proposing with before the end of the hour. He had never felt so lost as to what he was meant to be feeling. This was his duty, something important to the continued survival of the kingdom. Maybe that was why he felt so nervous, it was a lot of pressure on one event. Everyone important from all three kingdoms were here today for him – obviously he couldn’t get rid of the nerves, he was soon going to get down on one knee in front of the most powerful people in the world. Even knowing Capsize was going to say yes, he still felt so unbelievably nervous about tonight.

Gods, his thoughts were locked onto the idea that Capsize might say no. It was ridiculous, their engagement had been in the works for years now, she knew as well as he did that this event was really just for show. Yes, he knew in reality that she would play her role perfectly, she would accept his proposal in the exact way that was expected of her, she would sit by him during dinner and smile politely as he spoke, and the moment it was socially acceptable, she’d disappear off to talk with literally anyone but him. The last part was the highlight of the problem that had him as nervous as he was. Despite how she had been living in the castle for years now, he still barely knew Capsize. There had been times when he thought he was actually seeing her true personality, but most of the time she was annoyingly closed off from him. Of course, she was quite the same with nearly everyone, but he knew there were people she was open with which just made her all the more frustrating to him. She seemed happy to talk with his mother or Prince Tom during his visits, but absolutely refused to interact with him in any meaningful way. He was trying, she just didn’t seem receptive to him, which left him fumbling with what he was doing wrong. He knew that this engagement was unlikely to result in love, but he had hoped they’d at least be able to be friends.

There was still time, he assured himself. While the wedding planning would certainly take up most of their time, they’d still be given time alone to continue their courtship. Of course, Capsize hadn’t exactly been receptive to anytime with him, alone or not. Though she was never outright rude, she was always so quiet, but after tonight, things were going to get better. He’d spoken to her brother, gotten what information he could on things she might like to do and why she seemed so quiet all the time. He’d made her comfortable here, show her that he wanted her to be happy. Then she’d start talking more openly with him, he was sure. He just needed to get through tonight, which he knew he could do. Capsize always seemed to enjoy balls so she’d be fine, he was sure. Just get through tonight. He could do that. Realistically there wasn’t anything that could go wrong.

Despite that thought, Jordan nearly jumped out of his skin when the door to his room creaked open. He didn’t expect it to be time to go in so soon. He didn’t feel ready, but he rose to his feet anyway. Only it wasn’t someone that had come to collect him. Despite how anyone entering his room without him expecting them on such an important night should panic him, he completely relaxed.

“Tom,” Jordan breathed, smiling at the man. Tom, crown prince of the kingdom of King Dianite, dressed in all the finery one would expect of someone of his station attending an event as important as this one. He was dressed in deep reds, embroidery decorating his jacket, mostly in other red tones, though his lapels were done in silver. He stepped inside Jordan’s chambers, carefully closing the door behind him, smiling warmly at his friend. Jordan couldn’t help but reflect the action, happy to be having some alone time with the man before a night where he’d be focused on his duties as a future king. However, even in briefly reminding himself of his duties, his nerves were brought back to the forefront of his mind. “You can’t be here. You’re meant to be in the ballroom with all the other nobles. You’ll—”

“Relax,” Tom cut him off with nonchalance, moving to drape himself across Jordan’s bed. It wasn’t as if he had a reputation of being uptight and duty bound as Jordan did. Him sneaking off from an important event and being found in a noble’s bedroom was likely expected from him at this point. Of course, he knew that reputation wasn’t exactly what the man was worried about. So, though he didn’t move from his lying position, he shot him a flash of a smile. “I’m not the only person that’s missing, Sonja’s disappeared to gods knows where. Plus, the whole event seems delayed anyway. So, I thought I’d check in on you. I mean, it’s your big day, thought it would be nice to talk.”

“What do you mean delayed?” Jordan asked, more nerves growing. Nothing should be delayed; the whole night was planned down to the last detail. Had something gone wrong? That idea was enough to make him nauseous.

“Maybe delayed isn’t the best word. More like you wouldn’t be needed for quite a while. Ergo, I wouldn’t be needed for a while,” He said with a shrug. Sure, maybe there were some reasons that he could be worried – it seemed like people were getting pulled out of the room and not returning, which probably wasn’t meant to happen, but he didn’t want to worry Jordan, he seemed stressed enough. That was the actual reason he had wanted to see Jordan. Anyone with a working brain could tell that Lady Capsize wasn’t particularly happy with the engagement, but it was a lot less clear how the crown prince felt. Logically, given that he had picked the woman, one would think that he must be happy, but Tom knew he had a tendency to hide behind his duties to his kingdom. He was beyond worried that his friend wasn’t actually okay. “How are you doing anyway? Getting engaged is a big deal, are you feeling good about it?”

“Yeah, of course. I mean, we’ve technically been engaged for years, nothing’s really changing in that regard. It feels more like a performance than an engagement really,” Jordan’s words were well practised, as if a rehearsed speech themselves rather than anything with feeling behind it. He didn’t notice the small frown forming on Tom due to his words, too focused on once again running through the words he was going to say to Capsize during the engagement. A pre-written, well-practised script, prepared well in advance as he knew he wasn’t going to be able to come up with anything from the heart. He really thought he would feel something tonight, even if it wasn’t love. The fact that he didn’t, it didn’t bother him per say as there was always the chance with arrangements like that that nothing blossoms forth, but he did find himself more than a little frustrated that he hadn’t made any real progress with Capsize. “I really thought she wouldn’t be so closed off by now. I’ve been trying to make her comfortable, but the longer she’s been here, the less she wants to talk to me. How did you get her to open up?”

“Just, you know, talked to her without formalities. Asked about her life and interests,” Tom replied, Jordan quickly groaning. He had tried getting to know her, and there was a time in her first few months here that he thought they were on their way to becoming friends. She had been laughing with him, openly competitive, but it wasn’t long afterwards that she shut off completely. Tom frowned just the tiniest bit more. He shouldn’t feel so worried about his friend when it was completely possible the man was just being dramatic, but it really did seem like Jordan was quite locked into feeling that his arranged relationship with Capsize was both the only one he was allowed to explore and completely doomed not to evolve any further. In actuality, Tom knew neither of those ideas were true, though perhaps Jordan was not in any state of mind to hear a suggestion of the former. So, instead, Tom decided to press on with trying to bring some hope for the latter not being true. “But because I've become so friendly with your fiancée, I’ve come up with the perfect wedding present that you’ll both love and will help peace between our kingdoms prosper or whatever.”

“That coming from your mouth worries me,” Jordan said. Tom mock gasped.

“You wound me! Maybe I won’t gift you a honeymoon.”

“Honeymoon?”

“Yep! A private cruise along my kingdom’s coast. It’ll give the two of you private time away from royal expectations. You will get a lovely tour of my kingdom, and Capsize happens to love the ocean,” Tom was pretty sure he had come with an idea beyond any expectations for him. Jordan was always talking about wanting to explore more and he didn’t think he’d ever seen someone as passionate about anything as Capsize had been about the ocean. Jordan smiled wider than he had all day. He, despite his friendship with the man, hadn’t been expecting a genuine idea to come out of his mouth, let alone one that sounded perfect. Capsize liking the ocean made sense to him as well, she was from the coast after all. Maybe they had a real chance of both enjoying such a trip. “So, have I come up with the best wedding gift?”

“It’s great! Seriously, it sounds perfect!” He had always been a little jealous about the amount Tom got to travel. It seemed that the man never stood still, always going somewhere, whether in his own kingdom or visiting one of the others. Meanwhile, Jordan only got to travel on rare occasions, and the idea of getting to see so much of Tom’s kingdom was beyond exciting. Though a question popped into his head. It was a question unlikely to occur to a soon to be engaged man, but Jordan was not exactly in the position of a normal engagement. “Would you be coming?”

Tom, for a moment, stared baffled. If anyone but Jordan had said that he would know they were flirting. Unfortunately, with Jordan it was completely possible that the man was just oblivious to the implications of his words. Still, he was obviously going to have fun with this. He pushed himself off Jordan’s bed and approached the man with a coy smile.

“Am I, your notoriously single friend, going to come on your honeymoon? If you’re ready for the rumours it’ll cause,” He found himself certainly too close to Jordan, smirking as he wrapped his arms around his neck, almost pulling him into an embrace. It was almost too far even for him, but Jordan didn’t pull away. Why would he? He felt comfortable, more comfortable than he did with anyone else who had tried to do such a thing with him. The noble women who had come as suitors had all been far too familiar for his liking. Capsize had never tried anything like this, and he imagined neither of them would enjoy it. Tom pulling him into an embrace, though? It felt right in a way that Jordan didn’t quite know how to explain, that he couldn’t explain because nothing could happen between the two of them. His engagement was for the good of his kingdom, what he had to do. He and Capsize both knew that and were both okay with that. But in this moment, standing with Tom like this felt so completely and utterly right in a way few other things did.

A fumbling at the door had the two quickly shove away from each other, both knowing being caught in such a position was not going to lead to anything good. What didn’t occur to either man was that fact that whoever was on the other side of the door wasn’t knocking. This wasn’t a servant coming to collect Jordan for the ball. Though they didn’t realise just how serious a situation was occurring until Queen Ianite burst in, several guards alongside her, looking utterly panicked in a state that neither had seen in before.

“Oh, thank the heavens you’re both safe!” Relief flooded her features. She didn’t care for what reason Tom was in Jordan’s bedroom, the fact they were both present and unharmed was more than enough to erase any questions. Jordan and Tom looked at each other briefly, both knowing something terrible must’ve happened but not wanting to actually acknowledge it despite the growing pit in their stomachs. Jordan approached his mother.

“Of course we’re safe. Are we late? We were talking, so I’m afraid I’ve lost track of time,” He tried to keep his voice steady as if he truly believed that might be the reason she was in such a state. The Queen shook her head, tears threatening to spill as she knew she was going to have to break the news she desperately didn’t want to. The peace between the kingdoms was about to shatter, and the seeming facts of the situation were as terrible as that implied. She ended up pulling her son into a hug, clinging to him as she desperately tried to figure out the words. How could she possibly break the news?

“No, no, you’re not late… It’s…”

“Your Majesty?” Tom spoke carefully, taking a hesitant step forward as he didn’t want to say what he was about to either, but there was only one possible reason he could think of for Queen Ianite to be in such a state as this. He didn’t want the terrible thought stuck in his head to be true, but he couldn’t let himself be stuck wondering. “Has something happened to Capsize?”

Her words failed as she tried to reply, though that was itself reply enough. She ended up sobbing into Jordan’s shoulder. That was more than enough for the two men to forget the fun and calm they had just been experiencing.

“Lady Capsize is missing,” A guard stepped forward, explaining what his Queen couldn’t. “Given the state of her room, it’s clear she has been kidnapped. We’re still looking for evidence but given that she’s also missing and that her weapon is missing from her guest chambers, it appears that her kidnapper was Lady Sonja, ward of King Mianite.”

With those words, reality set in. Whatever nerves Prince Jordan had had about his engagement escaped his thoughts. He placed a comforting hand on his mother’s shoulder, trying what he could to calm her. For the good of his kingdom, the good of all the kingdoms, he would have to rescue Capsize. Whatever danger he might face didn't matter, he needed to rescue his fiancée and bring her kidnapper to justice. That was his duty, and he could not afford to doubt that now.

#mianite #mianite fanfiction #cat's fanfiction #mianite royalty au #jordan captainsparklez #tom syndicate #syndisparklez #lady ianite #woah what cat posted a syndisparklez fic without any wlw - i'm probably dying

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edenfenixblogs · 2 months

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Palm tree, daffodil, and cactus for the Ask Game!

(The villain question, the sibling question, and the “what are you currently learning about” question)

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

Oh boy. Not technically fictional, but in his fictional representation — Ecbert from Vikings. He’s so compelling and his motivations and intensity is like that of a Shakespearean villain. I mean, just look at his monologue to Jesus in the church. It takes my breath away every time. Even without context.

youtube

I also find the real actual story of the real actual man to be fascinating. In general, I find early Anglo-Saxon era British history fascinating.

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them?

I do! But none by blood. @will-write-for-food is my sister, who I met in high school. I also have a friend (it feels weird calling her a friend tbh. She’s just my sister) who I’ve had since I was 4 and she was five. She’s also biologically an “only child,” but that made our bond even stronger. Nobody but an only child understands how fucking boring summers are if you’re an only child like another only child. Several years in a row we lived together by force. I would sleep over at her house until her mom needed a break and then she would send us both back and to my parents and on and on we’d go. I was maid of honor at her wedding. I’m aunt to her children.

As for similarities: both my sisters and I are motivated by love and family and kindness and are naturally rebellious in a dangerous way. We can all be snarky and we are all funny as fuck. But we never wanted to do drugs or go out and do any of the dangerous things you saw teens do in movies. We all care deeply about making the world better and believe in the value of choosing kindness and love any time you have the chance—even if it means gritting your teeth and clenching your fist while doing so. But also, we would all fear the fucking world apart if you hurt anyone we love. We also never abandon our friends to prioritize romance. We all value friendship as its own distinct type of love and relationship that isn’t less important than anything else.

For my Since-Pre-k sister, we are really quite different people. She leans more conservative (not in a terrible way though) whereas I’m very leftist. She is extremely romance driven in a way that @will-write-for-food and I are not. Over all, I think she’s a lot more traditional and normative in her life choices than we are, but not in a judgmental way. It’s just how she is. And it doesn’t change any of the things that matter about any of us. @will-write-for-food and I are also much more intellectually motivated than she is. She isn’t dumb though! She’s very smart! She just doesn’t learn things for fun like we do. She goes out and does stuff instead. I value that about her. Whenever I get too in my head she is amazing at shaking me out of it. She’s also not super into politics. She’s very practical.

As for @will-write-for-food and I? Ooooooh boy. There is no way to fully disentangle this. She’s my other half. We are basically the same person. I’m much more optimistic than she is in general. And I’m also soooooooo much more humble. (😉😘) But she is so strong in a way that inspires me. She can keep her head down and keep moving forward in a way that is incomprehensible to me. I’m glad she’s learned to reach out more over the years and know that she doesn’t HAVE TO operate like a one woman emergency crew. But the fact that, when the chips are down, she *CAN?* It’s astounding to witness. She’s also funnier than me. Or anyone. She’s the funniest fucking person in the world. And if you think *I’M* patient?????????? You have all seen NOTHING. You don’t know the meaning of the word patience. None of us do. The word belongs to her.

As for a way I’m different than both of them? Aside from what was already mentioned, I think it’s pretty funny that they are both Irish Catholic with a big, loud Jewish found family.

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

Interior design. (I got this ask a lot and will give a diff answer every time because I’m always learning a million things)

#ask me stuff #palm tree #daffodil #cactus #theredqueenandbloodwyrm

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spaceman-earthgirl · 2 years

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Supercorptober 2022 Day 5: Orange

ao3 fic link. series link.

“Can I tell you a joke?” Esme asks, the little alien basically vibrating with excitement as she does.

There’s no way Lena could ever say no to her, not with those wide, hopeful eyes and a grin that reminds her of Kara.

“Of course, you can, sweetie.”

“Okay.” Esme clasps her little hands together, face taking on a more serious expression. “Knock, knock.”

Lena smiles. “Who’s there?”

“Red.”

“Red who?”

“Knock, knock,” Esme repeats, a small smile making its way onto her face.

“Who’s there?” Lena asks again. This is going to be a bad joke, she can feel it.

“Red.”

“Red who?”

“Knock, knock,” Esme starts again, getting more and more excited with each word.

If it were anyone else, Lena would’ve rolled her eyes at the joke by now, or let’s be honest, Kara is the only one who tells her bad jokes, and while she’d roll her eyes, she’d listen until the end, just to see the beaming smile on Kara’s face when she said the punchline.

It’s the exact same thing with Esme.

“Who’s there?”

“Orange,” Esme grins, and even though Lena doesn’t know what’s coming, she grins too.

“Orange who?” Lena asks.

“Orange you glad I didn’t say red!” As soon as the words are out of Esme’s mouth, the little girl dissolves into laughter.

Lena would do anything for this little girl.

And she was right, that was a terrible joke.

“Did you like my joke?” Esme asks, voice quieter, once her laughter has died down.

“I did,” Lena smiles, but only because it made Esme smile. “I think Aunt Kara would like that joke too, have you told her?”

“She told it to me!” Esme exclaims.

Lena looks across the room and meets Kara’s eyes, finds her girlfriend already watching them with a smile. “Of course, she did.”

Lena’s not sure if Kara was listening to them, or just happened to look over right before she did, but Kara makes her way towards them. Lena’s question is answered with Kara’s next words.

“Have you been stealing my jokes?” Kara asks, arms going around Esme’s waist, picking the little girl up, tickling her until she’s breathless with laughter.

“Aunt Kara!” Esme manages to say through her giggles.

“Yes, Esme?” Kara asks, looking the picture of innocence as she deposits her niece back on the ground.

“Do you have any more jokes?” Esme asks once she’s righted herself.

“Hmm…” Kara pretends to think, when Lena knows for a fact Kara has dozens. Lena doesn’t entirely get it, the jokes aren’t funny at all, but the way Kara says them, the way she lights up when she tells them, the way Kara beams at the punchline, has made Lena seek them out herself too, remember jokes she’s heard in passing, all so she can tell Kara, just to make her girlfriend smile.

“I’ve got one,” Lena cuts in.

Esme turns to look at her, eyes wide. Kara raises her eyebrow, intrigued too.

“What? I can be funny,” Lena adds under the looks from them both.

“Of course, you can be,” Kara says, leaning into Lena’s side, pressing a kiss to the side of Lena’s temple as she does. Lena will take the kiss, even if Kara’s tone sounds slightly patronising.

“What’s your joke?” Esme asks, rapt attention now solely on Lena.

“What is a balloon’s least favourite type of music?” Lena asks. She pauses for a moment after the question, can tell Kara is trying to think of an answer while Esme just waits patiently for the punchline. Her joke is dumb but she knows her audience, knows they’ll both like it.

“Pop.”

As expected, Esme breaks down in giggles again while Kara grins.

“Aunt Lena, can I go and tell Nia?” Esme asks waiting for Lena’s slightly stunned nod, Lena’s breath suddenly stuck in her throat. Esme races off across the room, intent on talking to Nia.

“She called me ‘Aunt Lena’,” Lena breathes, eyes still on Esme.

“Because you are,” Kara simply replies, stepping into her personal space again now that they’re alone, arms snaking around Lena’s waist to pull her close, drawing Lena’s attention back to Kara.

“Technically I’m not,” Lena says, because it’s true, she’s not, even if they do treat her like family. And this is the first time Esme has ever called her that.

“Not yet,” Kara amends, which makes Lena’s breath catch for a different reason. “But one day you will be. Officially.”

“You want to marry me?” Lena asks, eyes wide.

Kara rolls her eyes with a smile, fingers squeezing Lena’s sides. “Lena, we’ve talked about this before, you know I want to marry you.”

“I know,” Lena smiles. “It’s just nice to hear you say it.”

It still is a surprise that Kara wants to marry her, still makes her wonder how she got so lucky that Kara loves her too. But she knows Kara does love her, knows one day she wants to get married, knows she wants to spend the rest of her life with Lena, and that makes Lena happy beyond words, because she feels the exact same way.

Kara shakes her head with a fond smile before she tilts forward, warm lips pressing against Lena’s. Lena melts into the contact, into the familiarity and warmth of Kara’s kiss.

A small body crashes into their legs, breaking them apart.

Lena looks down, finds Esme’s arms wrapped around them both, her little head tilted back to look up at them. “Nia liked your joke, do you have any more?”

Lena (only somewhat reluctantly) relinquishes her hold on Kara. She takes a seat on the couch, and pats the empty space beside her. “I have a few, want to hear some more?”

Esme nods excitedly, taking the seat beside Lena. She shuffles close, little body now pressed to Lena’s side, Kara taking the seat on the other side of Esme.

This is the family she never thought she’d have, and with Esme laughing beside her, and Kara watching them both fondly, Lena’s never felt happier.

#supergirl #supercorp #kara danvers #lena luthor #esme #supercorp fanficc #supercorptober2022

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banisheed · 28 days

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TIMING: May 1st, 2024 LOCATION: Ireland PARTIES: Siobhan (@banisheed) & Metzli (@muertarte) CONTENT: Domestic Abuse (child abuse discussion) tw, Animal Abuse tw SUMMARY: Siobhan and Metzli have a strange encownter.

Being kicked out of Saol Eile didn’t hurt so much the third time, Siobhan thought. Perhaps it was something about third times being charming, or what have you. Or perhaps it was that this time, she had chosen it. Regardless, she didn’t fancy being in Ireland for much longer and she had a million gratitudes and apologies to give Metzli, Anita and Xóchitl; nothing had gone the way she thought it would. Siobhan hadn’t talked about what happened, or what was happening; how does one explain that an idea of a life has died and will never come back? She was as lost as anyone else. All she needed to do was take some things from the shack and then it was done, it was over, they could all go back to Wicked’s Rest—it wasn’t home, she could never call it home, but it was the place she would rather be. Not that she’d started packing yet, but… but…

There was a cow. That was, in fact, exactly what she said to Metzli: “There’s a cow.” Its red and white hair was painted with mud, and it stuck its large head into the rusted trough that was bolted to the side of the shack. Siobhan frowned; that thing had collected rain water over the years, but it was far from clean. The water the cow so hungrily slurped wasn’t even clear. She thought she should help; Rónnait liked the animals she kept and Siobhan didn’t hate them, or caring for them, either. Her family were ranchers technically, though they would have screamed at the label. But she was still a banshee, despite her shame, and all she could really say was: “Metzli, there’s a cow here.”

The colorful tag on the cow’s ear shook as the creature continued to drink up the dirty water.

—

The departure from the banshees didn’t come lightly, and had it not been for Siobhan’s strength, it likely wouldn’t have happened at all. That time spent outside of that dreadful place had been quiet for the vampire. All Metzli could do was listen and watch, take any precaution they could to prepare for an outburst. Whether sad or angry. Or both. Yeah, probably both. That was what Metzli expected anyway, and as they continued to watch and follow Siobhan, they were surprised to find peace in her eyes. It lay comfortably all over her, the way she had deserved all along. Metzli was honored to share that experience with her, and apparently a cow too.

“Yes, there is a cow.” They took an unnecessary breath, as they always did to keep their sensitive nerves settled. “We should get it clean water.” Taking a step toward the cow, Metzli stiffened at the way they were painted with flecks of mud as it shook its head free of some of the wet dirt. The sensation forced out a groan up their throat and they swallowed with a step. If they could get past the crawling ants under their skin, then everything would be fine. Some days, they really hated being able to feel again, but all it took was one look toward Siobhan, a person that made it worth it. The ants ended their march.

“Is there a pond or stream we can lead it to?”

—

“Or we could…” Siobhan waved her hand around in the air, running through ideas in her head. She settled on what she usually did: “Kill it.” She grinned as though the cow could understand her. “Eat it. Chop it up. You get the blood, Anita can have the meat, I get the bones, Xóchitl can watch.” The cow lifted its head up, water dripped down its brown nose, getting caught in the fur around its chin. She watched the water collect in the fur, and then drip down, and was struck with the sudden desire to dry its mouth. The creature stared at them with its big, mucus-crusted black eye and again, Siobhan was struck with a need to clean it. Everything about the creature was pitiable; cattle always were. Was there any other creature so thoroughly domesticated? So completely incapable of living without human interface? Or one that wore its uses so plainly, that could not be anything more than it was? Each cut of a cattle’s meat had a name, didn’t it? That hair, though muddy, would make fine boots. And if the cow was producing milk, the excess of it wasn’t meant for a calf. Everything this creature had to give was for someone else. There was nothing more pathetic than this thing staring at her.

(Did it ever look at itself and think that maybe it should just—)

“There’s a stream nearby. We used to fill the water for the livestock from there.” Though this shack was far from the dairy farm that comprised the Dolan estate in Saol Eile, the few animals once here lived well, so Siobhan thought. If you were alive, that was living well—what else did lesser creatures need? Siobhan ripped in old rope from the broken pasture fence and tied up a simple noose. “Your family owned a farm too, didn’t they?” Siobhan asked absently, slipping the noose around the cow’s head, who didn’t protest or jerk away. Obviously, if the tag in its ear was any indication, the cow was used to human contact. She could’ve led it anywhere; didn’t it have any sense to be cynical? “Come on, I’ll lead the way; at least, if we’re going to eat it, it should have some clean water.”

—

Killing the cow would indeed be a kind gesture to its cycle. Whatever direction its owner was taking, the cow’s place at the end of its road would be on a plate. Metzli had seen that cycle countless times, in a place where they had both arms for working, and land to tend to. Blood, as it seemed, had always stained their hands, and now there was only one to paint. “Yes, we had a farm.” A beat, and a huff from the steer as Siobhan beckoned it to walk. Metzli followed her closely. “There were many animals and crops. My cousins were helpers like me, but I was oldest so they would give me much more work.”

Back in those days, where the air was fresh and the streets were full, survival had a completely different meaning. It meant waking up before the sun circled back around, before a rooster could screech as an alarm. It meant lugging around food for animals and trimming ripe vegetables from their roots. It meant the blood on Metzli’s hands wasn’t human, and it never mixed with dust. But those days were long gone, and in Metzli’s place, stood an abomination that understood all too well that a dead heart hurt just as much as a beating one.

Because despite what people may say about Siobhan or think about her for doing the things she had, Metzli understood. More than once, they too had to rip limbs away for the sake of family. For the sake of keeping order and peace among the clan. But there was no peace, and there was no safety in the bond that was supposed to be sacred. Far more sacred than those, Siobhan’s ties were born of blood and not a bite, and yet…and yet she stood next to an abomination, with no tethers of blood surrounding her with the same warmth that trailed through her veins. It was wrong, and it was heartbreaking, but luckily for them, hearts couldn’t truly break. They could only bend.

“Sometimes I miss that farm, but I cannot go back. I am not even sure if anyone in my family survived the attack from when I was turned.”

—

There was something about the definitiveness, the straightforwardness, the inexplicable knife-to-the-chest sentiment that amused Siobhan about the sentence: “Yes, we had a farm”. Of course, everything Metzli said was rather blunt; ‘Yes, we had a farm’ was no more different than the accompanying ‘there were many animals and crops’. They were just statements, and Siobhan’s invention of subtext was an exercise in creativity more than intuition. There was nothing there and yet the sentence echoed like a handful of nails spilled across a table: rattling, rolling, scratching and bouncing. Yes, we had a farm. As the shack turned into nothing but the brown point of a roof on the horizon: yes, we had a farm. As her gaze turned to the trees far beyond, and the mockingly silent entrance to Saol Eile hidden among them: yes, we had a farm. Yes, Siobhan had grown up on one. Yes, we had a farm.

The truth could be a simple affair—yes, we had a farm—and yet how much truth lived inside simple words was variable. Siobhan tried to imagine the farm Metzli spoke of, with its animals and crops and cousins. She tried to think of the place that Metzli couldn’t return to but only thought of the one she couldn’t. She held only one idea of a farm. Yes, we had a—with pastures that all sloped downwards and miserable animals with Death caught in their fur. And the cows! Siobhan could never forget them. Where the sheep pooled together on one end of their enclosure, and the goats shrieked until their last breaths, the cows greeted their butchers. To Siobhan, they seemed to have a docility that was bred. They seemed to understand their purpose. Yes, we had a farm and it was a home, once, full of gray, dead animals.

She heard the stream first, then saw its lazy trickling stream and led the cow to it. It was her imagination that the creature seemed grateful as it drank. “Only sometimes? You don’t dream of going home?” Siobhan asked. “If you could have your farm again—or rather, maybe those days again. Before…everything. Would you? Would you go back?” Did Metzli long for it the way she did? Siobhan leaned down, flicking a finger at the cow’s yellow ear tag. “Do you think the cow wants to go back?”

—

Home. It could be any place, but more often than not, it was a collection of people that provided love and safety and understanding. People like that were what made a home a home, and if Metzli really thought about it, their childhood had none. They stopped walking, wringing their fingers against themselves as they struggled to answer Siobhan’s question. It should’ve been easy. Instinctual, even. Because Metzli did miss certain parts, but they struggled to believe that any of it was worth missing.

There was no home. There was no family. There was no love. There were only memories of safety in solitude and hatred stinging their skin. But the more Metzli thought about it, the harder it was to cement their desires onto their tongue. Instead, for several beats, they streamed down their cheeks until they managed to let out what sounded like a pitiful croak.

“N-no.” Their shoulders sank, and they avoided any chance at eye contact by forcing their gaze to remain on the cow as it drank. “Not…It was-I…” Swallowing harshly, Metzli counted to six, pacing along with each number and repeating the process until they calmed down enough to speak. Properly that time, albeit with a few tears.

“That was not home. That is just where I was raised.” Their breath stuttered out of their useless lungs, “I have many wishes that it was a home, but it was not. Be-because home is where you are happy. Home is where people are happy to see you. Home is-is where you want to be when you are not happy.” Passion grew in their chest, blooming into a small smile that shone beyond the tears down Metzli’s face. “Home is-is Leila and Fluffy, and-and Anita and Xóchitl, and Cass!” They lit up considerably, “And you. Home is you. When-when…when I think of my past, it hurts. Tingles are on my skin and it itches, and then I feel this-this…” A beat, and then Metzli rubbed at their half limb to settle the rising tension in nerves. “Heavy thing in my stomach.” They sniffled, finally looking at Siobhan. “I was not loved. I was not wanted. You call me abomination because I am dead, but I was called this before because…because I was alive.” Metzli breathed, watching Siobhan mess with the yellow tag. “I think the cow wants to be free to choose where to call home and that is okay. Sometimes…sometimes home is not where we think it is.”

—

An apology crystallized in Siobhan’s throat, bobbing as she swallowed useless words away. Siobhan wanted to ask what the difference between the place you were raised and a home was—Ireland, with all its edges, was her home—but the question withered away. She’d overwhelmed Metzli with her question and that was the enough to change her tone and pivot her curiosities. She stood slowly, her hand flexing at her side. “Home is back in Wicked’s Rest, isn’t it?” For them, but not for her. This was home; the cocoon shed her, but the lost shards would always be home. Her gaze lifted to the brown point on the horizon then back on her friend.

Siobhan, knowing that Metzli had never hesitated to offer her comfort, shifted nervously on her feet. She remained where she stood, by the flowing stream. Her voice transformed into an oddity of kindness; something like her great-great-grandmother’s. “Home is where you’re loved and you are loved, now. And you’re loved in Wicked’s Rest and that’s home.” Siobhan repeated Metzli’s sentiments hoping there was some comfort for them in their version of truth. She considered her disagreement suddenly irrelevant. “We don’t have to think about your past anymore, if it burns; if it makes you heavy. I think your future is more fun, isn’t it?” But it wasn’t the same for her and it didn’t matter: loved or not, wanted or not, this was home. She could be a stray if she wanted, a little runaway from the beef ranch, but her reality wouldn’t bend.

Then, there was the matter of the cow. Siobhan thought she understood the metaphor (Metzli was making a metaphor, weren’t they?) but she couldn’t pretend like she agreed, or that she understood, or keep herself from the question. The simple creature continued to lap up the water. “It can’t choose,” she said, arguing as softly as she could manage. She offered her friend a gentle expression, betraying the comfort and kindness she hoped to offer. “It’s a…cow. It can’t just…it doesn’t know better. It can’t live in the wild. It can’t just…exist. It wasn’t made to live. Not the way you’re describing.” Metzli must know; they grew up on a farm. There was a singular purpose. A unifying duty. “It’s a cow.”

—

Without a word, they nodded, keeping the silence as Siobhan struggled to keep her illusion from completely falling apart. Things were easier to understand when there wasn’t fluff in what people were saying. Little meanings here and there that were thrown in for their sentiment, but most of the time, Metzli felt like it was for their confusion. However, now that they had the experience to decipher what was being said, they realized how important fluff could be sometimes. Words without the sharp edges. Words softened to allow for comfort to follow. Words that were too full of emotion to freely walk off one's tongue, but fell when they needed to. Into the arms (or arm) of someone who could carry them. Metzli lifted without hesitation.

“It can choose.” They affirmed, closing the distance between them and Siobhan. “Cows can be stubborn and bold, or shy and quiet, or controlling and rude.” Something akin to a snort came out of them as they thought back to one of their favorite dairy cows, Chicha. She was one of the best, and having been just a child when she was born, Metzli grew fond of her as they grew together. “One time, we lose a cow. Chicha. She was much annoying and always want to be out of the fence.” They breathed out a small chuckle.

“Wake up and went to work, and she was not there. We lose her for two weeks. Think she was dead after one week.” Clicking their tongue, Metzli patted the back of the cow’s head and trailed their gaze back to Siobhan, offering a knowing and amused look. “She come back with this confident walk. Like nothing happen. My apá was so angry and wanted me to kill her for meat, but I know this is stupid choice so I just clean her up.” Their face fell at the memory, and they clicked their tongue again. “Our brand was messed up on her back. Some other farm try to put theirs on top and then I see she had cuts and fur missing, and I was so mad, but she was home, and she look very happy because she find this way to come back home where she will be treated good.”

Metzli wasn’t sure if Siobhan would find any comfort in the story, or see what they were trying to say, but they were sure that she didn’t really have to at that moment. Her wounds were still fresh and her heart needed time to repurpose itself. It was a good thing her and Metzli had enough of it to spare. “It will be okay, cariña.” They looked down to their friend, bending at the waist to connect their head to hers in a gentle bonk. “You are not a cow that was made to be certain way. You are…” Metzli pulled back, tears in their eyes with a smile reserved for so few to see. “Free and loved. You are my friend. You are my home. And,” They stood upright, holding their arm open for an embrace should Siobhan want it. “Now you have a new future. What do you want to do next since you are not a cow?”

—

Siobhan knew what Metzli was trying to do. It was thoughtful, it was kind, it was them tapping on frosted glass. What Siobhan wanted was to go home: she wanted her wings, her family, her dusty cramped room full of worn bones. What she could have was this: some kind words which dripped off her skin like rain. All of it left an uncomfortable residue. Siobhan thought she was worse than Chica; if she walked to Saol Eile with her scarred back, there wouldn’t be someone willing to take her in. She didn’t do well with choice, and yet, it spread before her like the dark branches of a blossoming sapling. She could do just about anything, and that was the problem.

She could invite people to Ireland; she could let a leprechaun go; she could lead a cow to a stream and in fact, she’d done all those things. She could help someone she hated; she’d helped Regan escape, she’d spared the doctor’s wings from a full removal. And why? She was always contradicting herself, and why? What great purpose did being so confused serve her? Siobhan was too many things—an abundance of metaphors: she could call herself a garden, a library, a forest, a graveyard. Complexity didn’t interest her nor did it soothe the reality of being stuck with herself: squirming, writhing, pitiful. She needed to pin a more suitable Siobhan to the board (not by the wings, of course, she didn’t have those anymore).

Falling into a different Siobhan was like wearing an old set of clothes; she’d been so many versions of the same, strange meandering woman for so long that slipping into another facet was a secondary nature—her primary nature being completely unknown to her. This Siobhan smiled softly, nodding at the love that Metzli offered, and imagined herself throwing it over her shoulder. She stood up. “What if I want to be a cow?” She did not want to be a cow. “What if it doesn’t matter? What if nothing does? What if I don’t want to be your friend?” She wanted to be Metzli’s friend.

Siobhan pulled one of several knives from her pockets. With the flick of her wrist, she jammed the knife into the thick of the cow’s neck. She twisted, opening up the whining creature like a faucet. She pulled her hand away, covered in slick, burning blood, and smiled. This Siobhan didn’t think about how a different Siobhan really loved cows. This Siobhan didn’t do much thinking at all; it made her uncomfortable. As did being loved (as did being unloved). As did trying to figure out what she wanted (as did disobeying her whims). As did doing anything that was expected of her (as did doing anything she oughtn’t). She could stab a cow if she wanted—not that she wanted to—and she could do things that she didn’t want to—just because—and she wasn’t making any choices because choices made her uncomfortable—ignoring all the choices she was actively making and had made—and she could do it all because…. Because…

“Freedom makes me itchy,” Siobhan said with a shrug. “As does iron.” She scratched at her bloody hand. “So do artichokes; do you think I might be allergic?”

—

“We can see what matters and you can decide not to be my friend if you want. It is what you get to do. You are—” And then there was a knife in the cow, a bloody smile spreading across its throat.

Hunger wound around Metzli’s throat so tightly that they wretched. Their eyes went red and glossy, body tensing as control barely managed to set itself in place. Killing the cow wasn’t exactly what Metzli had in mind for Siobhan’s newfound freedom, but they supposed metaphors were open to interpretation. They grumbled to themself and fought through the animalistic urge to bite, their face twisting with discomfort.

The miscommunication was why they preferred plain speech. It’s what they probably should’ve stuck to, they thought. But Metzli figured Siobhan would’ve used her freedom to kill anyway. She couldn’t resist a good knife and some blood. Not as well as she could resist what was good for her.

“Maybe.” They finally responded in a choke, clearing their throat soon after. “It will be strange allergy to have.” Which was not what she meant was it? They told her about their itch, so was it the same as theirs? Was she experiencing a level of discomfort that made living all too much? If she was, they could already tell speaking about it in depth was out of the question. They responded in kind, granting her silent wish. With a swallow, Metzli approached the now lifeless cow. “Will we take it home for food? I can prepare this and we can have meal together.”

—

Metzli was more tolerant than Siobhan hoped for—had she been hoping for something? No, of course she wasn’t. This Siobhan didn’t hope because hoping was pathetic and nothing she hoped for ever came to be anyway. She was flowing from one whim into the other; one dead cow into the next inevitable dead cow. Chaos incarnate, or something like it, right? (Her mind was strangely empty, no agreement echoed back through its hollow caverns.) Performing for an unresponsive audience really stabbed the life out of her metaphorical cow; in the realm of reality, the literal cow that had the life stabbed out of it flopped over as if taking a deep nap.

What she’d imagined—which was different than hoping—was that Metzli would lunge across the space between them and sink their fangs into the cow. Or, perhaps, press their lips to the spurting wound. Instead, they stood there. Instead, they offered her more kindness that she didn’t know where to put. Siobhan frowned. “Stop being nice; this is weird. Is this what it’s like to have a friend?” Why hadn’t Metzli moved? Why had they retrained themself? Why did they offer to make a meal out of their bloody metaphor? She scratched her red hand, which was sprouting a new rash. “I think I might be allergic to friendship too.” She didn’t like this. “You’re no fun.” Her frown transformed into a childish pout. This Siobhan who wanted to play games learned quickly that Metzli was immune to them.

She rounded the cow and lifted its big, dumb, dead, stupid head. “I don’t eat meat,” Siobhan said, “which I know is ironic considering…” Considering all of her; which she hated to admit was a tolling bell of irony. “But I’m sure Anita and…” Siobhan paused. “...Xóchitl would like a fresh meal.” And why did it matter to her what those two would like? Did it matter why it mattered? She was so tired of fighting her brain’s logic that she’d just have to let this one battle go. Waving a white flag, she smiled softly. “Help me drag this damn thing back. Or carry it yourself and I can pretend like I helped. I’ve got gloves if you need them.”

Siobhan glanced up at the horizon, and the brown pointed roof of the shack. Her shoulders sank. For years she knew she’d convinced herself that she’d come a long way: from child to adolescent to woman to this. But it was always back there she went, back here she came: to Ireland, to Saol Eile, to her great-great-grandmother’s shack, to herself. Could a dog chasing its own tail forget where it was going? All she had to do was turn around and yet, and yet… And why? Why? She sighed; she wasn’t sure she even wanted to run another delusional lap. Maybe she’d start attributing her whiplashed thoughts to vertigo. Or, maybe, she’d find the right Siobhan to pin down and let her take over the laps. Or maybe she’d go back to the shack, watch Metzli cook a cow, and stop pretending like there was anything here that she cared to take back home. Yes, maybe, it was time to pack her suitcases. Maybe. Or maybe not yet. Who was going to tell her which choice was the right one?

“Hey, Metzli,” she said, “I love you; I don’t want to stop being your friend.” That, at least, she could be sure of.

#i had to draw that with my left hand so it was funny #also thank u 2 jojo for letting me cow #c: metzli #s2 #writing #cowuntenance #animal abuse tw #domestic abuse tw

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noxiatoxia · 10 months

Text

@pumpkinmetaphor HII ur asks are off and tumblr DMs are a nightmare to navigate so I will respond here to spare poor poor op

soo I have quite a bit written out actually, but idk if it'll ever come to be ...? I think I actually made a post abt it a bit back. It's just one of those many many things I write in my downtime for fun that will prob never get finished. Anyways the concept revolves around werewolves because I love stories of protags having some deep secret they cannot reveal for fear of rejection or worse. In the story, Kaoru has been infected with lycanthropy after being attacked badly by a werewolf. He lies about this encounter to everyone, doctors and his brother included, as he genuinely believes he must have saw wrong. He was attacked at night when he couldn't see well, the animal seeming to be a wolf...but there aren't any wild wolves in Japan. So Kaoru believes it must have been something else. (side note idk how the disease spreads as of yet. Think either saliva in the bloodstream like rabies or it's a thing of if you get killed by a werewolf you come back as one not knowing you technically died...)

Soso Kaoru beings acting strange after this event. After weeks recovering physically, coming back home, his personality shifts unknowingly to himself. He becomes a lot more restless at night, much more snappy and rude, generally kinda acting like his brother more lol. He just seems to be losing his temper easier and being more aggressive and physical, even with Hikaru, who he also becomes more snappy with. Obviously he doesn't understand why he's acting like this, neither does anybody in the club.

Then the big thing happens...full moon baybeeee. Up to this point Kaoru would feel more awake/elevated heartbeat when looking at the moon, but when the full moon comes around, he feels fucking crazy. Like manic and uncontrollable and he starts to freak out a bit. However he sticks it out because the club is hosting a prom event like episode 2, so it's like, whatever, go home and sleep later.

Until he makes the mistake of forgetting to keep himself busy, which leads to him compulsively staring at the moon, and then he finds he can't look away, and well.

And the transformation thing sort of has him black out. In my head, I imagine the werewolves look like regular wolves, just a tad bigger with bigger paws that may be more human-like. Definitely makes him lose all cognitive ability, and by the time he snaps back to normal, he doesn't know where he is, his clothes are tattered, he's in so much pain, and there's blood, and he's like whaaat the fuck happened here...

He's able to hide these facts, not wanting anyone to know how he found himself when he woke up bc that shit cannot be good. quickly through talk he finds that morning that haruhi got hurt last night, so of course hikaru (who is doubly worried about his brother who disappeared for a chunk of the night) urges that the two of them along with the rest of the host club check up on haruhi (who is at home trying to tell them "im fine guys gooddd")

but like, ofc its the club so they knock the door down lmfao. and tho haruhi plays it cool, she is obviously a little shaken about whatever happened. she has some bandages but nothing awful.

turns out, as she explains, an animal attacked her last night (cue tamaki wailing) and she scared it off by blindly slashing a pocket knife at it ("WHY ARE YOU CARRYING SUCH A DANGEROUS WEAPON AROUND!?!? IF YOU NEED BODY GAURDS KYOYA CAN DO SOMETHING IM SURE-" "i use it to open packages senpai.")

kyoya of course takes the idea of a wild, vicious animal on school grounds very seriously, and so inquires on the appearance of the animal. haruhi pauses but admits it looked like a wolf. of course kyoya tells her that can't be right, it must have been a stray dog, but haruhi insists it did NOT look like a dog.

anyways, the club are in uproar about this, arguing back and forth about this wolf-not-wolf that nearly killed haruhi, and kaoru is silently watching from the back as a terrifying realization dawns on him. he remembered waking up with there being blood. namely, blood on his hands and under his nails, and a nasty cut he got on his cheek which he assumed he acquired by tripping and hitting something sharp. But if he pairs that with what haruhi says, it seems INSANE, but also...it would make sense. everything to this point would make sense.

and it terrifies him. it terrifies him more that hikaru swears up and down that he's going to "kill that filthy mutt" that hurt haruhi, and it terrifies him that kyoya says he's going to bring this up with school staff about increasing security. he wonders if he told them that it wasnt just a wolf, it was HIM, that if they would be merciful, or if they would still hate him. if hikaru would want him dead still. and the fact is, he HURT someone. his friend. this is his fault and he cant even blame his friends if they wanted to go as far as kill him if they found out, now that he is literally a monster that can kill people.

this, finally, is where the carriage thing comes in (took long enough!) the story functions as an elaborate ass metaphor, where kaoru's lycanthropy is a physical metaphor for his anxieties about the person who he's supposed to be, the harm he thinks he's causing other people, the harm he's causing his brother. he's running around, trying to find a cure while keeping everyone in the dark, praying no one finds out before he can fix this and fix himself. and if he cant, his only option is likely a grim one, but he CANT let anyone know, it's too risky, he has to do this by himself. his self-destroying obsession with keeping everyone safe and doing the right thing for his friends causes him to push them away from fear of hurting them or getting hurt himself. there's that part of him that's convinced he won't be able to solve this.

it basically drives him to his lowest point mentally and physically. he avoids all his friends so he can't hurt them with his uncontrollable temper or possible transformation, he's doing tons of shady shit in an effort to cure himself. he goes to nekozawa bc if anybody knows how to solve this fuckery its nekozawa and nekozawa treats him like a little lab experiment lmao bc of course he is enraptured by kaoru's newfound form and the physical changes it has made to his body (sharper canines, faster-growing hair, possibly an inch taller, newfound silver allergy). but of course as news of the wolf attack on campus spreads so do rumors, some "crazy" rumors about werewolves being real, of course rumors that are mocked by most of the kids as being nonsense scary stories, but this does NOT help kaoru's paranoia...

as for how this story ends WELL it's unfinished so you can guess (i have no ending.) i do want some part of hikaru obviously finding out at the worst possible moment, probably a very unfortunate circumstance where kaoru is unable to escape transformation on a full moon and hikaru is there. and he probably begs and pleads for hikaru to leave him alone but of course his brother won't do that, and obviously he is fucking stunned to see his brother turn into ?? a wolf. like erm *marvel voice that just happened..... and since kaoru has no control in this form, he tries to attack and even kill hikaru. hikaru would obviously not fight back, bc he doesn't want to hurt kaoru. that and he is stunned silent.

there are other elements of the story i want. for example, if i ever finish this thing, i do have ideas of ayanokoji being involved somehow. probably a witness to kaoru's odd behavior/actual transformation and thusly being able to use this against him cuz Fuck Da Host Club. or even try to kill him herself bc he's a fucking wolf dude idk. i also had this scene in my head with arai being involved bc the night kaoru attacks his brother he wakes up far as fuck away from tokyo with no memory except knowing A) hikaru was there and B) there is blood all over him he can only think of the worst possibilities so he kinda wanders in an unfamiliar back road in a fugue state until some lady almost accidentally hits him with a car and is like. who is this child covered in wounds and blood......and very sane thing to do she is like. hey do u need like. a lift. you look like ur gonna die. you have like 3 stab wounds. and kaoru is like. floor it chief. anyways turns out it's arai's mother ! woah. which is funny because after helping Kaoru and hanging out with him she admits she's like, "oh i helped you cuz you remind me of my son. you seem about his age" and kaoru is like oh ha ha that's nice of you....and then fuckin arai shows up a few hours later and kaoru is like "ohhhhhhhhhhh............................uhoh."

to which since kaoru doesnt have his phone on him arai offers to phone haruhi for him since he has her number and of course 5 minutes later the host club is at their location in a fucking helicopter or some shit bc ZOMG KAORUUU WE WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOUUUUU WHERE DID U GOOOO (hikaru withholding information)

it's an incredibly "fan fiction-y" story i admit. but that's the fun of it. it could get soooo dramatic too. cuz like yeah duhh hikaru wouldn't want to kill kaoru ofc not but OTHER people ? there's a guy who is a werewolf. umm. can't see that going over well. and the general attitude kaoru would hold and the way he attempts to figure everything out on his own. the day he and hikaru reunite after hikaru finds out the truth could go so many ways, from silence to yelling to crying to awkward laughing to kaoru just blankly asking what hikaru plans to do with him now, like he's a prisoner accepting his execution. sorry i am a fan of introducing trauma between the toxic codependent twins. and like the other members of the club? i can see people like tamaki being quick to try and help kaoru (despite what he did to haruhi) and haruhi being like "this may as well happen welcome to Ouran Fucking Highschool" but people like Mori or Kyoya may be more hesitant, pointing out kaoru, while not malicious, genuinely CANNOT control himself in his canine state and has shown multiple times that can and WILL kill people, including his friends, and that can't be ignored or brushed off. maybe they put a muzzle on him idfk. either way, it's also a great metaphor for stigma bc once his friends start finding out, they are obviously treating him differently. Even (or especially) hikaru. he's being treated like a different person now. it makes him feel more inhuman than ever. they only see this awful monster he can become now, he feels, and honestly, maybe they're right. it's not all of who he is, but it's a part of him, a part of him that has hurt two people he loves most, and so he can't help but judge himself based off that too.

well ermmmm yes! that is my funny funny story that i have like 6k written down in a word document of that i may or may not finish who fuckin knowwws

#noxia and his cringe fan fiction #ive got another one that i ACTUALLY plan to finish that is the ''died and came back wrong'' trope....again with kaoru.....#not like ACTUALLY dying but its an amnesia story and *rubs hands together have i got SO many ideas.#again a good chunk is written already duhhh...#;shortstory #ohshc #;noxiatalksia

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quodekash · 1 year

Text

its 1pm and im finally well-rested enough to watch last nights episode of abaab, wish me luck (im rly excited for more threezo pls gimme more threezo)

im eating a pomegranate while watching so my commentary may be slightly limited

NOOO CHER WHY ARE YOU SAD ITS GONNA MAKE ME SAD

i just accidentally sprayed pomegranate juice everywhere

this is my first time eating a pomegranate and im sitting on my bed

i have a towel on top of me just in case and im glad i have it

otherwise my funky hufflepuff blanket would look like a crime scene rn

anyway back to the show

awh :[

comforting kiss

im gonna cry

“its not a company owner and an intern. its just you and me.” GHEIBRHGERH THATS SO PERFECT and also makes me feel better cos i was still feeling a little weird about the power imbalance/age gap so yay

THEY HUG

NO, BC YOU WONT BREAK UP

THIS IS THE HAPPIEST FLUFFIEST SHOW, I WILL NOT ALLOW IT

JACK, YOU AND YOUR PERFECT HAIR, HELLO

THREEZO

LOOK AT ZO’S LITTLE HEART JUMPER

I WANT IT

THE ARM THE HAND ON THE ARM LOOK AT THEM AAAAAAATYFYTUUVJ (ft jacks perfect hair on the left)

OMG

THATS AMAZING

IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU JACK

GJERKDGBKRHEBGKJREBJGRE

ah shoot

wait hang on

what the hell

ive been wondering whats in that folder since day one

ohhhh okay its a groupchat

props to that one person for saying its none of your business

yOU HAVE ONE OF THOSE??

i nearly dropped my pomegranate

why was i surprised to learn he has a mother

a lot of people have mothers

thats exactly what she said, isnt it?

bc theyre actually in a drama

its gonna cut to a scene of her saying exactly that

damn i was wrong

thERE’S A HUG QUOTA???

damn then i guess im going to jail

my hands are covered in pomegranate juice this feels like a murder

hey, does pomegranate juice wash off?

MY BOY AND HIS EYEBROWS

HAH, SUCKS TO BE YOU (checks notes) oregano?

i do love that and that’s very sweet, but bro needs his coffee

already at two kisses and were not even halfway through the episode. if only tinngun could live up to their standard.

(this is mostly a joke, im just really salty because tinngun COULD have kissed SIXTY-SEVEN FREAKING TIMES and they DIDNT and no i will not shut up about this i spent way too long combing through the show counting every single time they didnt kiss to not mention it every single time any characters kiss. shameless self promo here)

no wait hang on what the hell

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN???

“drunk or not, i love you” i see now why that line was significant

and also the slight breakup foreshadowing earlier

i understand it now

they wont break up tho bc (i pull out a sword) i will not allow it

(just kidding)

(i dont have a sword)

(if i did have one tho i would absolutely take it out of its sheath right at that moment)

FRIENDSHIP COMFORT TIME

YAY FRIENDSHIP

they make me happy

HIS PERFECT HAIR

I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH GFYTDFYTFCUTVJHV

oh yay we get some tub time!! i cant wait to learn more about him so that i can pick him apart and do a character autopsy on him to find out how he works!

is he speaking from experience? tub, what do you have going on in life? what have you gone through? tell me all about it :] 📝📝

is it texas chicken or is it kfc?

MY BOYS

IM GONNA CRY THEYRE SO FREAKING CUTE

ilysm three

RIGHT????? he gets it

THREEZOOOOOO

i love them so much

NOOOOOO

CHE???

something good better happen

(eret son of eret voice) is tha’ who i fink i’ is?

it might not be

if anyone knows who plays this man, pls lemme know

NOOOOOOO NOT THE GAMEBOY

OH IT GOT WORSE

sir do you have the technical skills for this

i know hes the head of a game developing company thing but the actual physical insides of a gameboy are an entirely different thing, right?

i was waiting for the thoop situation to come up again

the MOOD that this is-

i have finished my pomegranate and can confirm that the juice does in fact come off of human skin, which is nice bc i looked like id murdered someone

👀

and how are you gonna do that, gun?

idk man, i reckon id appreciate you as my big bro

yayyy that was really good, a little bitter at times but really sweet overall. 7/10, would try again

oh and the episode was also really good

huge lack of threezo tho

theyd better make up for it next week

still good tho

bye bye everyone! have a good day!!

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mdhwrites · 6 months

Note

Do you think Amphibia's dedication to its themes was too much in certain aspects? I'll try to explain:

Sasha was the first commander of the resistance, but it was Anne and Sprig who brought the newts and toads to their side, and it was ultimately Anne who made them all work together. Amphibia wants Anne to be, in simple terms, "the most important person" in the show, but it leaves me wondering what exactly were Sasha and Grime doing for most of the resistance's progress to happen after Anne returns.

On the topic of change: Isn't it a bit weird that neither the ending nor Marcy's journal showed the girls potentially dealing with trauma after they return from Amphibia? I understand that they want to portray change as inevitable and a part of life you have to accept, but I can't help but feel they missed on a bit of nuance in the process. It could have been due to lack of time or space tho.

Best wishes!

The latter one of these two I actually find more interesting, even if it's slightly more infuriating too for reasons I'll get into, but let's get the first out of the way.

Mostly that... What? Anne takes a HARD backseat in S3B. It is about Amphibia and its people and while she has a couple episodes where she gets to be the one helping out, a lot of them are about the frogs themselves. Hell, Sasha is doing about as much as Anne is except that Anne can leave to promote the resistance and act as a fighter because Sasha is busy with the full time duty of a commander. There's a reason stories focus on a general's top soldier, not the general himself. That's just storytelling conventions and Anne still doesn't overshadow Sasha much. Hell, the Olms are MUCH more brought in by the Plantars and Sasha than anything Anne does. More Hop Pop above the rest even, not just Sprig.

As for getting them all to work together... Do you not remember that episode? Anne fails for 80% of it before she LOSES IT and makes them all realize that even if they hate each other, they hate Andrias more. Hell, she only leads them because she has mediation experience and again, she fucks it up for the most part. It's still Sasha who technically brought them all to one place. I will admit that Anne gets an episode with Tritonio but I've already talked about how Sasha was the leader for bringing in the Ohms. Sprig helps bring in the toads specifically because he pisses them off so much as to end up in a dual where he needs to expand his own way of thinking and looking at others in order to win.

None of this glorifies any of them. Anne just points out rightfully through empathy that Tritonio does care about his people. Sasha pushes the Olms hard enough to force them to listen to her and give them a chance. Sprig is bigoted but in fixing that, he starts to let go of it. None of this is glorifying anyone, especially with how hard each of them has to fight to get these people to budge enough to even bother working together to save their world, something the show depicts... Because the show DOES acknowledge change is difficult and something people push back again.

Anne spends literally an ENTIRE season breaking her old habits and changing into a more mature person. She spends the first season constantly wanting to default to how things used to be for her, or how she wants them to be for her before learning to appreciate the new world she lives in, both literally and figuratively. Even then, Anne is still Anne. Two seasons later, she still devotes herself to pleasing her best friend during Sprig's birthday because old shackles haven't broken. They've loosened but change takes time.

Amphibia itself reflects this. Quick change DESTROYS IT. Forced change destroys it. The entire world is wrecked by someone trying to make it become something it is not and to bend to his will. Its people though do not simply forget their grudges because of this though because letting those things go, the humiliations, the traumas, etc. inflicted by each other (especially on the frogs) is something they cannot drop. It takes a literal world ending threat to BARELY make them work together. It actually presents a lot of interesting potential for what in fact does happen to the world afterwards.

But if you NEED it to be about trauma... What the fuck did you miss about Sasha's arc? Losing to Anne almost KILLS HER. In fact, she is willing to die because of utterly defeated she is, especially by the fact that in that moment, she has to acknowledge that Anne is a better person than her, not just a fighter. This causes her to lash out so badly that she spends ALL of S2 in denial until she finds a way to possibly put herself on even footing with Anne. When she has to acknowledge the actual pain this caused though, everything that she's held onto that is now ripped away from her, it puts her in a spiral of self doubt until she figures out a new direction to go.

But Sasha is still Sasha, even changed like this because, well... It's almost impossible to entirely change a person or people. She still wants to be leading. She still gets grossed out the nastier parts of Amphibia. All that changed was that now instead of being self serving in her desires, she understands what leadership actually means and the true value of other people. Even then, she still is struggling with accepting all of this which is why she wants an out when it comes to Marcy. To not have to deal with something so hard.

THIS is part of why I am SOOOOO tired of trauma talk in cartoon fandoms. Anything remotely dark happens and people seem to entirely forget what actually is on screen and cry out for therapy. Remember: Amphibia is a fantasy, slice of life, comedy that eventually gets more of an adventure edge in S3B. They still however make comments on bigotry, the long term damage due to that bigotry, trauma and our responses to it, the change that that can sometimes require and the lengths we'll go to to avoid addressing that, etc. etc.

But because we never get an entire season dedicated to Anne sobbing about Marcy, no one actually cares because it's not as blunt as Barrel's Hammer. Everyone seemed to miss that Anne was so overwhelmed by what happened in True Colors that she couldn't even recap it all without frying herself and that was WITHOUT acknowledging her friend's death. That she works herself to the bone until people convince her that destroying herself won't fix those mistakes faster, it'll just make more mistakes. I LOVE how Amphibia deals with actually acknowledging some of this stuff while managing to still recognizably BE AMPHIBIA.

Heck, the fandom explicitly DOESN'T want the deeper discussions the epilogue implies. That all three of them went through so much shit for and BECAUSE of one another that staying friends would be hard. Other people won't remind them of getting stabbed, scarred, betrayed, etc. but the trio WILL. And so they needed time in order to properly cope with it all. They didn't disconnect but they gave each other space until they were ready to properly handle what their relationship could be now.

Or, you know, just because they were forced to work together for the sake of other people they cared about, they should totally be blood sisters for the rest of eternity. Let's not talk about how two of them literally had to let go of the third to let her DIE for the sake of those they cared about. How do you cope with that? Does that torture Marcy because she can't protect Anne after moving? Is she thankful to have an excuse to disconnect because it means she'll care less if Anne ever dies again? And that's just ONE of the BILLION questions you have to ask about what Marcy does when she finally gets a chance to breathe.

The season the fandom wants about trauma is NOT what they would get. Fandom trauma is where you have a character angst, cry, get a hug and a cookie and then everything is okay. It's an excuse to have big emotions that lead to stronger bonds. It still romantices it into something that can only be for the best for a person and not actually that hard to get over. Trauma doesn't work like that. PEOPLE don't work like that.

Just as a personal example, and sorry this goes for so long: In October I had a session with my therapist specifically about getting into trauma inflicted by my brother pretending to be mentally disabled, something I actually am, and betrayal/bigotry shown to me by a TOH Discord group. These scars were over a year old. Over two years for when my brother started his shit. I had technically talked about these issues with other therapists before but now it was to specifically talk about them with the context of me having worsened my Avoidant Personality Disorder.

It destroyed me.

I went from taking random walks and having a potentially positive, excess energy in me STRAIGHT to complete lethargy, non functionality and, of course, though not as blunt because Tumblr doesn't have a spoiler text option I can find, dangerous thoughts that even scared me more than usual on some nights. It took me over a week to function again. To get back to about where I had before. And mind you, this wasn't a session about FIXING these issues. This was just me talking about them to let my current therapist know what was on my mind and what had happened. It made such not progress that I'm actively scared about how many sessions it will take to actually make me progress on these issues.

Meanwhile, I am not some cinnamon roll who needs pets because of these issues. I get REAL upset when people treat me like a ticking time bomb who is about to start sobbing any second now. The main effect it has had on me is that I am TERRIFIED of publishing my own work. I had my experiences invalidated and my personhood made less and so my deepest expressions of those stand on extremely shaky ground where despite knowing I'm a good writer, nothing sounds good enough to my brain and it just causes more anxiety the harder I push. It's a large part of why I haven't written a lot this year and published nothing original that wasn't written LAST YEAR.

Now translate all of that complexity, and all that boredom that comes with it, to a full season of Amphibia about the girls processing the end of their journey and saying goodbye to their families. Even just a couple episodes about it. How entertaining is that? Is that ANYTHING like what you enjoy about Amphibia in the first place? Is that ACTUALLY what you want?

Because you know what? I made a story about depression, anxiety, trauma etc. and while people like the fanfic version, it's not my most popular fanfic and the published, original version of that story has mostly gone entirely overlooked, almost like those topics actually REALLY suck to read about and have explored properly rather than just being an excuse to have your ships hold each other a little tighter. Most people who read the fanfic were there to see Lumity angst that led to them getting together and were then shocked and pleasantly surprised how there were actual therapy techniques they could take with them and the like in it because they were there to see a couple they liked suffer so their bond could grow stronger.

And I want to be clear real quick: I do not begrudge anyone for enjoying Crises Girlfriends like that. I am actually just happy you enjoyed it at all and in a way that was healthy for you (and I've had people talk about needing to put it down because it fucked them up so badly). There are games I am SCARED to play because I fear what my emotional reaction will be to their themes. Celeste is one of those games. I don't like when my media wrecks me like that but that is a part of actually tackling these very serious subjects that ruin people's lives like trauma or depression or the like.

And... I just don't think most people actually want that. Let alone want that from their silly frog cartoon. it's just what people keep telling them to want because 'trauma' is the big buzzword of the day. The thing that makes it not like other kid's cartoons.

I don't want trauma regarded like that though. Nothing so serious should just be a token signifier to others that your story is 'deep', let alone when the story actually does show responses to trauma and how people handle that like Amphibia does.

======+++++======

For funsies, have an old blog that's admittedly about TOH but also applies to fantasy trauma in Amphibia as well because the genre is EXTREMELY awkward about trauma due to its fantastical nature. I think Amphibia does fantasy trauma better but, well... The Plantar's trauma about herons still applies to one of the types I describe.

Also, best wishes to you asker. Sorry for ending up using your ask to unload some frustrations I have about the topic.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#amphibia #amphibia critical

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just-late-roman-republic-things · 11 months

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I just read about the trial of Marcus Scribonius Libo Drusus, and I need to tell y’all how batshit wild it was. (Warning: suicide mention.)

So, you’ve got Libo, cousin of Emperor Tiberius and a man with more money than brain cells.

Libo’s “friend” Firmius Catus tells him, “You’re so much smarter and funnier and sexier than washed-up Tiberius. You should be emperor instead!”

And Libo’s like, “Yeah!”

(Firmius Catus was accompanied by a cloud of watermarks wherever he went.)

So Libo and Firmius start plotting to overthrow the emperor.

But Libo, being a twit, thinks that “plotting” means “writing in code like a spy from the 1940s” and “paying fortune tellers to tell you how rich you’re gonna be.” He does not look for any co-conspirators to write in code to, nor does he realize that daydreaming about something is not the same as actually doing it.

(The fortune teller when she realizes Libo just wants to be told how great he is again.)

Firmius gets so annoyed he betrays Libo to Emperor Tiberius in hopes of getting a reward for “discovering” a “conspiracy.”

(Emperor Tiberius, realizing he has to actually talk to someone today.)

Tiberius responds by doing...nothing. Because even Tiberius, who has the social skills of a wet sock, knows that Libo is too incompetent to actually kill anyone.

The fortune teller gets so fed up with Libo’s shit she turns him in to Fulcinius, a greedy prosecutor. Considering that fortune telling was illegal, and Libo was paying her to basically just blow smoke up his ass, we can only imagine how annoying he must have been.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry but ‘nepo baby’ is not a criminal offense.”

“Well, does it still count as plotting against the state if he’s really, really bad at it?”

“...I can work with it.”

So Libo's charged with treason and brought before the Senate. Libo, who has never faced consequences for anything in his life before, freaks the fuck out and begs his relatives to testify on his behalf. But they’re too nervous to do so, because they think the emperor’s furious at Libo, and Tiberius doesn’t realize he needs to talk to people and clear things up.

(In fact, Tiberius is arguably the only person in this affair NOT upset at the guy, who was sort of, technically, plotting to kill him.)

Sharks smell blood, and more senators hop on the “prosecute Libo” train in hope of winning favor with the emperor who was too awkward to tell them to cut it out.

Good news: The evidence against Libo is garbage! He wasted so much time asking the fortune teller questions like “Will I have enough money to flood the Appian Way?” he never got around to committing an actual crime.

Bad news: Someone finds Libo’s notepad and claims his little code proves he’s up to no good!

(Artist’s impression of Libo’s notes.)

Libo flips out (again) and trial is adjourned so he can calm down. He asks Tiberius for mercy. Now, Tiberius may be more awkward than a penguin in stripper heels, but he has Principles. And one of those Principles is that the Senate should be independent, and make its own decisions, not just follow his whims. He might pardon someone who’s been convicted, but he wants to at least pretend Rome is still a republic.

Problem: Tiberius fails to explain any of this to Libo. He just says “Talk to the Senate, not me.”

So Libo assumes he’s done for, and kills himself.

You’d think this would put an end to things. It does not. The prosecutors go ahead as if Libo is still alive, because Rome uses the Highlander system where defeating someone in court wins you their rank. It’s not hard to out-argue a dead man, so they win.

Then, in hilariously poor taste, they make the day of Libo’s suicide a national holiday. Because they want to show Tiberius how much they support him! “Look, we punished the traitor! We did good, right? Aren’t you happy?”

(Tiberius was mortified the whole thing had happened at all.)

(Robin Seager, Tiberius, pp.74-77)

#tiberius was just so painfully unsuited for this job it's incredible #tiberius #marcus scribonius libo drusus #ancient rome #jlrrt speaks #just roman memes #suicide mention #robin seager #jlrrt essays

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energywarning · 1 year

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that gets me wondering, what are the agents' relationships with craig?

harper : they felt very uh. conned by him w the pay is zero thing, they don't like him and they don't trust people anywhere near his age anyway, hes no exception. betrayed is the word i guess. Does Not Interact with him ever if they can help it, and they usually do cus they like. just hit da bricks lol. it would take a lot of convincing for them to stay in the same room willingly. but i dont see anyone pushing for it, esp now that harper is technically no longer part of the nnss officially that is. but who knows what the future holds...

alex: literally 0 thoughts on him . she couldn't care less, too old to hold a proper convo with she thinks... Does Not Interact with him ever...2! but if it happens shes like whatever bro about it yeah crabby cakes are good !!! need my jacket to take an old man nap on or...

eight: "be respectful to your elders ^__^" his presence was beyond appreciated in the metro, and she will always be thankful for that. him rapping with pearl still makes her laugh to this day. but him sharing marina's past so easily worried her a fair bit once she remembered hers. would she share the same fate, a public humiliation? and if so, what if people aren't so nice to her, like they were to marina?

(custom event/campaign thing, return to kamabo lol... been a while since i thought abt it)she lost a fair chunk of trust in him after a certain event. but she doesn't blame him either, it made her understand that there are still challenges in agent work even if the stakes aren't high on a technical level, what can happen is not able to be predicted, even if it sounds like a walk in the park. you can end up lost and scared... in the metro, again... completely alone this time. with broken spawn points. still, she did sign up for it, i guess the ease in which he told her that she was the only one able to go and so she must go, even if true, shocked her in a way.

ripley: deeply repressed bitter-ish feelings? would not know the others if it weren't for him making her join the nss, but in hindsight, she finds his approach to recruitment... erhm. she felt weird when cuttlefish recruited harper, hearing about it from an outside point of view... and it was interesting hearing harper set such clearcut boundaries "get away from my sights" due to craig's comic-ish recruitment intro... perhaps those tricks arent so funny? perhaps "having the look, those eyes" or whatever is just... not so good. ultimately shes not that close to him on a personal level despite it looking so? there are things about ripley everybody about knows that the old man sure doesnt...inherited the captain outfit but shes not so proud of it... (especially when it was given more as a pity thing by marie and callie more than anything). she just feels uneasy being associated with him i guess.hes 130+ years old though LOL so she feels a bit guilty if she thinks about these things…

most time spent interacting? well. when doing agent work. and she works a lot so its not like they never hung out, hes an old squid with tricks up his sleeves and his advice made her an excellent agent. crabby cakes are excellent and she cooks some for him every now and then to be polite. shes respectful of him not rude or anything like she Doesnt Hate His Guts :shrugs:.

i think craig is a good recruiter, a sharp eye, knows what to say to get them to join x) when he puts his mind to it that is... hey he may have a military mind, but hes also a very old man, so its hit or miss ya know. i do think he tried to recruit other squids but they found him creepy and refused, he has a bit of a reputation...

#tldr no one hates him except harper #but no one is parent child close or anything. everyone is respectful though. harper is. well. doesnt insult him . which is the most they #can do

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coffee-in-veins · 5 months

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Haha, loved the wips you have sent :3 I’m gonna guess the first 3 are RRR chapters - can you share something from “Not while their eyes are upon me” pretty please? Synopsis, snippet, whatever you like :)

hullo hullo! thank you for another ask <3

yep, you guessed it right, it is a chapter of RRR, one i was supposed to work on, but got carried away and started working on another one... perks of non-linear writing i suppose ^^

this one is a bit i have already finished, and it's not a dialogue heavy chapter. i definitely don't mind sharing! hope you don't mind it's not a dialogue tho?

and i hope you'll like it :} writing Dis' train of thought is such a treat, you know?

cw: swearing, substance abuse,

It was obvious that there were different grades of weirdness to Hamlet and Estate. Like, having a good, sunny day was a weird thing, but that was obviously not a Sarded Up Thing, which were much more common. Seeing that the brothel does laundry was a weird thing, given the condition of mercenaries when they ended up there - a sane person would think that after a few uses those bedsheets were only usable as rather dubious rugs. But that was also low on the sarded up things list. Probably right under Jubie's being out of booze - again, weird, but not unheard of, even if sarded up on a technicality. Especially for Dismas who preferred to solve all of his issues that he didn't manage to Pretend To Not Give A Flying Sard with something alcoholic.

Still, those were normal, human weird things.

Fish with legs and swine with hands were normal fucked up things by this point. Being clobbered by walking bones or seeing people gouge their own eyes merely from a chant of some would-be stripper in a silly mask. Politely not looking too closely at a juicy roast during a bad expedition where one of the seekers died a grizzly death but his body was never found. Those were technically horrible but normal fucked up things for anyone who had survived in Hamlet for long enough.

But then there were not normal fucked up things. Things which shook Hamlet down to its rotten salty core, soaked in either saltwater or blood spilled.

Alhazred, suddenly deciding he wants to get accepted into the Light's embrace. Paracelsus acting like a normal woman, clothes, looks and all - which later turned out to be a lost bet but turned a whole town into a thorning hive for a whole week, much to her displeasure when she cocooned in her study again. Dismas himself, spending a week in the cloister and finding that however much he wanted to, he didn't hate it as much as he expected to hate it, despite the technical ban on booze which he technically didn't break because technically “Blood” wasn't considered alcohol despite being labelled as vintage.

The rogue had always joked - and he suspected he was the one who unintentionally started the saying - that the most fucked up thing would happen when Reynauld, the old reliable Reynauld, by whose schedule you could set your watch, who didn't differ in his mannerisms and activities, would somehow fail or refuse to go to the transept.

He was partially right, the highwayman thought as he lunged into the fray, since Reynauld did take up the cake in the Most Sarded Up thing the Estate had to offer, just... not in a way everyone expected him to.

#ask game #my shoebox of letters #restructured refractured recalled

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author-k · 2 years

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Intoxicated Arguments

Kaeya Alberich x Reader

Summary: Although the reader and Kaeya are not exclusively in a relationship their current relationships becomes strained as the reader returns to find Kaeya had slept with someone else (Implied Female Reader However Gender is not Mentioned)

Warning: mentions of mature themes

Your arrival was unexpected. And how convenient for him for you to arrive while he was just finishing up with a one-night-stand. You two weren't together. he'd much rather keep his sappy love for you to himself. You had been away on an expedition in Liyue, courtesy of Jean. He almost insisted on accompanying you, he genuinely feared for your safety. How could he possibly allow anything to happen to the one person that cured his loneliness the most? In the end, he didn't go with you and he came to the conclusion that it was probably for the best. It was getting harder and harder to contain his feelings lately and if he had gone he might have just spilled his guts to you in honesty hour around a mood-setting campfire.

In all honesty, he knew how you felt about him but he was still afraid you didn't feel the same way and that he had it all wrong. He also knew he'd end up disappointing you like he had others that were close to him. So he'd settled with just the thought of you while he slept with other people.

"Why am I not surprised." You spoke, leaning against the wooden door frame of Kaeya's office. He was fastening his belt as the girl slipped past you out the door. Embarrassment and shame were clearly written on her dusted pink cheeks. " Don't get the wrong Idea." He said while pulling his boots on. "What is there to get the wrong idea about?" " You can do whatever you want or rather whoever you want."

He didn't know what to say. Technically he had no reason to explain the situation you had arrived in, yet the look in your eyes made him feel incredibly guilty. " Well, see ya" you waved and left him in the office.

He sighed loudly turning his head to the ceiling. As much as he wanted to chase after you and explain the situation. There wasn't anything he could explain to you. And even if he had run after you down the hall it would become obvious to you the feelings for you he was bottling up.

The guilt was eating him up inside. He sat next to Rosaria in the tavern. She simply slid a glass of red liquid across the table to him. He pulled the glass to his lips pouring the alcoholic beverage down his throat. " You gonna spill or should I go pray to Lord Barbabatoes?" " It's complicated" he admitted. He was almost 100% sure Rosaria knew what was up, but he couldn't confess his feelings for you to her. If he was gonna profess his love for you, your ears were supposed to hear those words first.

He didn't drink enough to be absolutely trashed but he definitely had a bunch of courage and a filterless mouth for his words. He was kicking the bricked road outside your door. " Kaeya?" Your peered out from your window. He looked up at the sound of your voice calling his name. You then disappeared from the window. He could hear you rushing down the stairs and you opened the front door.

" Are you okay?" You asked him. Why? Why did you have to care for him so much? "

Listen... I'm sorry" You were shocked at his sudden apology. He didn't have anything to apologise for on the surface but deep down that apology meant more to you than anyone would ever know.

" For what?" you crossed your arms over your chest. Your stubbornness seeped into the air. He sighed. You were gonna make him spell it out, weren't you?

" For earlier..."

" You really have nothing to apologise for. It's really got nothing to do with me who you sleep with Kaeya. We're not together it doesn't concern me.”

" You're wrong it does concern you!"

" I think about you so much it's driving me crazy!"

" Don't you understand, I'm In love with you!"

"Kaeya, you're drunk you should go home." You furrowed your eyebrows, your heart beating out of its cage. You've seen Kaeya pull many stunts while being intoxicated, but this was new.

" I'm not drunk " He sighed

" Why didn't you just tell me then Kaeya, Instead I had to walk in on you after you slept with someone else."

" I'm also in love with you Kaeya! How did you think that made me feel?"

" If you think about me so much when why didn't you think about me while you were screwing some random girl in your office huh?"

" I was, I did. It was supposed to be distraction but all I could think about was what it would be like if you were in her place." he averted his gaze.

"Kaeya!"

Kaeya took a deep breath in " And look okay I couldn't exactly run down the halls of the favoinus headquarters yelling that to you and I know that's, not a valid reason and I'm sorry. I wouldn't blame you if you reject me right here. That was a royal asshole move "

The silence was deafening. For not only him but for you too.

" You're actually sorry?" You asked him.

" From the bottom of my heart," He said

" You so dumb you know that"

" I know"

He stepped closer to you his hands gently cupped your cheeks and he placed a soft kiss on your lips. "smells like dandelion wine," you say when you parted. " Sorry-" you wrapped your hands around his neck pulling him in for another kiss.

You two sat on the step in front of your door and spoke about everything and anything. The confessions were flying left right and centre between the two of you.

" I swear to the Anemo Archon, Kaeya if you forget this tomorrow, I will-"

"How could I possibly forget the best thing that's happened in my entire life" He interrupted you.

#kaeya x reader #kaeya alberich #kaeya alberich x reader #kaeya x you #kaeya x y/n #rosaria #genshin #genshin imagines #genshin impact #genshin x reader #mondstadt #kaeya fanfic #kaeya fanfiction

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