#technoblade is on wheels

[antarctic-empires]

You sure about that, YouTube?

[simplepotatofarmer]

counting dogs

my piece for the 'first try techno challenge'! i actually got dream and decided to roll again and combine the next roll which was the hound army! anyway, written with two minutes to spare <3 <3

“There’s no way you know all their names,” said Dream. Despite the heavy armor and his wide-legged, firm stance, the mass of dogs was still pushing him around and he struggled to stand in one place. “I mean, there’s like—”

He paused, clearly attempting to count.

Techno let him, mouth pulled into a grin, one eyebrow shooting up as far as it could go. When the silence stretched on, Techno gave him a little nudge, metaphorically.

“There’s…”

Dream twitched, turning his head towards Techno.

“There’s like, forty of them,” he said. “No way you know all their names, Technoblade.”

“I mean, there’s actually about 180 but who’s countin’. Who’s countin’…” He reached down and scratched one of the dog’s ears as it wagged its tail so excitedly that its whole body went with the tail. “Well, you were but let’s just forget about that.”

“Oh my god…”

Dream’s ears – the only part visible beneath the mask and the hood – turned bright red. It was probably rude to laugh but Techno did anyway, the dogs barking at the sound, working themselves up. Reaching out, Dream caught himself on the wall as one particularly eager dog bowled into him.

“Hey, Em, easy girl,” said Techno, making his way over. The dogs parted for him easily, tails going a mile a minute, accompanied by quiet barks and whines. “See? Nothin’ to it, Dream.”

“Yeah, well, that’s because they’re yours so they listen to you.”

“That is usually how it works, yup.”

“You’re so annoying.” Dream steadied himself. “But there’s seriously no way you’ve named all the dogs.”

Techno held his hands up, chuckling.

“Okay, you got me there, Dream. I haven’t got around to namin’ them all.”

“So you don’t know all their names,” said Dream, tone of voice triumphant, pointing a finger at Techno. “Which means I was right.”

Lightly, Techno smacked his hand away and one of the dogs took the action as an invitation to play, jumping up on Dream eagerly, licking at the mask. Techno was expecting a harsh reaction, had tensed in preparation for it, but Dream only made a noise of vague disgust and pushed the dog away.

“Ah ah ah. I know all the names of the dogs that have names.” Techno knelt, ruffling the fur of the closest dog. “So technically I know all of the dogs’ names.”

“What? No! That’s not—” Dream sputtered, trying to find a way to argue, wanting to argue, and coming up short. “Whatever.”

“So, you admit that you’re wrong.”

He was wrong but Dream would never admit to it.

“Shut up, Techno.”

“That’s what I thought,” he said, patting the dog on the head as he got to his feet.

Dream watched him, head tilted to the side. With the mask, the effect was strange, almost childlike.

“You should let me name a dog.”

“You wanna name a dog?”

It wasn’t an immediate refusal, more like an offer, and Dream straightened.

“Yeah.” A short pause. “Name it… Name it ‘Dream Has a House’.”

Techno laughed, loud and booming, and set the dogs off again. A mass of dog flesh writhed in the small space and Techno reached out, trying to pat each one as best he could.

“Easy, Dice. Easy, Fossilnet. Easy, Max.” After a moment, the barking and whining died down. “Alright, alright, but only for you, Dream.”

[pastelchaos12]

After several days of drawing (and probably destroying my back)

I have done the colour wheel challenge myself and I think this turned out amazing

So many characters...

Also here's a list of the original characters I added:

Green: Pastel

Purple: Robin

Yellow: Vex

Pink: Skye

[fandomlit]

concussed confessions (technoblade x reader)

requested by anon “Helloo, i was wondering if you'd be up to writing about c!techno and reader being best friends with secret crush on each other and during a some mission it gets really dangerous. Not sure if they'll walk out alive and squeezed in some tiny space they have this moment of intimacy and honest conversation about their feelings? :)”

summary you and technoblade find each other while fighting a raid off of a familiar village. after techno takes an axe to the arm, you rush to help him, and the buffer in the midst of chaos is enough to allow him to open up to you about his feelings.

warnings swearing, violence, fighting, killing, injury, blood and gore

a/n y’all.. this sat, completely finished, in my drafts for way too long. welcome this fic to the public eye

gif cred belongs to @mineyourowndreams​

techno barely felt the arrow plunged into his armor, nor the arrow that followed that. his shield had broken long ago, but the netherite encasing his body did well in its place.

when he heard the raid bell sound, he had gotten himself prepared immediately before heading toward the village. he was taking down pairs of pillagers at a time with his axe and sword, double wielding as he had many times before. he took down one that wielded a crossbow before he heard the voice calling to him.

“technoblade!”

he turned to see a pillager coming down on him with an axe, and just barely managed to block it from pounding into his chest plate with his own axe, knocking the pillager down before delivering the final blow. he turned to see where the former warning voice had come from, and did a double take when he saw you fighting off a hoard of your own. he quickly ran his way over to help you.

“what the hell are you doing here?” he yelled over the sounds of fighting, working his way through the mob that surrounded you and a few fighting villagers.

“i have too many friends here to watch it be destroyed!” you grunted, pushing back a parade of arrows with your shield before swinging with your powerful axe in retaliation. as focused as technoblade was on winning the fight, he couldn’t help but note how beautiful you were in that moment. when you had a brief moment, you turned your determined eyes to him. “what’s your reason?”

he quickly shielded a villager next to him from an oncoming arrow before swinging back with his sword, feeling the butt of it hit against a hard skull and knocking the victim to the ground. he looked up at you with an equally serious expression. then he just shrugged, and you would’ve laughed had it not been for the next pillager charging toward you.

techno watched, almost in a trance, as you easily fought one off with a kick to the ground, wheeling around and knocking another with the blunt of your sword. most enrapturing of all was when you easily swiped one’s head off with a strong swing of your axe, a hefty flow of blood causing many other pillagers to back away while you simply basked in the spray, waiting for the next challenger.

she’s beautiful, the voices seemed to scream.

techno was so distracted by the way you simply turned your axe over in your hand and continued to fight with everything you had, that he didn’t notice the pillager creeping up behind him until it was too late. he was knocked in the back of the head, but quickly embraced the hit before he turned to his attacker. but techno was ready to block or swing a little too late, and the pillager’s axe lodged itself into the meat of his bicep. he let out a loud grunt of pain as a flush of white hot pain ran through his arm. he swung with his good arm to stab his attacker as he heard you call out his name.

“go with him!” one of the villagers at your side called. “take him into a house and block it off; we’ll be okay!”

that was all you needed to hear. you nodded in thanks before running over to the hybrid who had fallen to his knees and tugged at his good arm. “c’mon!” techno lifted himself to the best of his ability and you guided him toward a nearby house, sitting him on he small bed as you used other furniture in the room to block the door. he groaned, placing his hand on the handle of the axe, ready to rip it out.

“don’t!” you exclaimed, quickly rushing over to place your hands atop of his. “it’s preventing from bleeding out right now, wait until i can get some things.”

he let out a heavy sigh, removing his hands from the handle and you gave him a sad smile before beginning to trifle through the chests in the small house.

“you shouldn’t have come,” you spoke, your heart panging with guilt as you watched techno attempt to swallow his pain.

“i wasn’t jus’ gonna let this place burn,” he muttered, watching as you picked out a couple of materials.

“well, why not? i thought you didn’t have loyalties to people other than phil.”

“and you,” he added, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the cabin wall. he could still hear the fighting outside. “and i think im starting to be okay with that ranboo kid.. but i like this place.”

you finally sat next to him, placing down the things you had gathered. “why?”

“‘cause this is where we always meet.”

you paused your actions as you mulled over his genuine words. your heart skipped a beat as you thought. he was right; whenever you two decided to adventure together or simply hang out, you used this village as the half way point between your homes.

you began to resume your actions when he spoke again, “i dunno why, but i thought you would leave with it.”

your cheeks began to heat up at his sappy words, and you offered a quiet, “i think you’re concussed.”

“i didn’t get hit that hard.”

you ignored his words as you began to unwrap the roll of bandages you had found. “do you think you can pull it out or do you want me to?”

“i can do it,” he muttered, words slightly slurred from pain. he was sure a muscle had been torn, sparking a sudden wave of exhaustion within him as his entire body tingled with numbing pain. you were definitely smart for keeping the axe in.

you gave him a look as you began to wrap the bandage just below the wound. “can you?”

he let out a grumble before ceding, “maybe you should do it.”

you nodded, “thought so.” you held the bandage wrap in one hand and took the axe handle in the other. you looked at techno to warn him, only to see his eyes beginning to droop. you tapped his cheek with your finger, and his vermillion eyes turned to you instead. you placed your hand on his cheek. “hey, hey. it know it hurts, but i need you awake. i can’t do much for you if you’re asleep, okay?”

“whatever you say, pretty lady.”

you felt a blush creep up your neck but just sighed, “yep.”

“yep what?”

“you’re concussed.” before techno could say anything else, you yanked the axe out of his muscle, quickly dropping it to the ground as he let out a shout of pure pain. you got to work with swiftly and tightly wrapping his arm in bandages until you ran out of the roll.

after securing the bandage, you spoke gently, “good?”

“amazing,” he grunted, placing a hand on the tight wrap. he was surprised the blood wasn’t already seeping through it, but credited that to your quick work. “i didn’t know you doubled as a nurse.”

“well,” you hummed, offering him a healing potion, “you do enough dangerous stuff, you figure it out.” he frowned as he took the potion from you before gulping it down. “by the way, i might have to stitch that up when we get back to one of our houses. but i don’t have the materials here, so you’re safe for now.”

“figured,” he sighed, cringing at the bitter taste of the potion and you gathered your thoughts. 

“im not leaving, by the way.”

his eyes turned to you, still tired, but stronger. “i know. it was a stupid thought.”

“no,” you said, shaking your head, “it wasn’t. it was sweet.” he raised his eyebrows in the slightest and you continued, “it shows you care about me.”

“‘course i do,” techno attempted to shrug nonchalantly, the faintest of blush creeping up onto his pale cheeks. “who else would offer to stitch me up after i got distracted staring at them and got whacked by an axe?”

you just shook your head, standing up to look for another roll of bandages to take with you. “i know you say my focused face is funny, but in the midst of battle, tech-“

“that wasn’t why i was staring,” he spoke, shaking his head. you tucked the bandage roll in an empty bag, along with another healing potion before looking up at him.

“did i have something on my face?” you persisted with a chuckle, moving to see if you could snatch anything else from the small house before you went back into the dying battle.

“no,” he said softly, watching your tactical eyes scan the room before lifting to meet his own. “you just looked beautiful.”

you offered him a flattered smile, and he took pride in the way your cheeks flushed. “you’re concu-”

“don’t believe me?” he questioned, eyeing the way you seemed to brush off his comment to keep moving about.

you hummed sheepishly, opening another chest to see what laid inside. “can you blame me? i’m in netherite armor and, uh..” you looked to the red specks that littered your exposed skin. “covered in blood.”

he just shrugged, still gazing at you in a way that made your heart actually jump. “doesn’t matter to me.” you shook your head at him amusedly and he raised his eyebrows at you. “i’m the fuckin’ blood god.”

you laughed. “right. almost forgot.” you continued to silently rustle through the chest despite your now racing heart, now too aware of his sharp eyes following your movements.

“i mean it, though,” he offered, shifting his body as best as he could to allow himself a bit more comfort. “you’re beautiful. i’ve known it since the day we met.”

“i was also covered in blood the day we met,” you hummed, standing after bagging another potion. you finally looked to techno, giving him an amused look. “so maybe you just really like blood.”

“i do,” he admitted with a shrug. “but you’re beautiful without it, too. i’ve been around you enough to know that.” 

you nodded, finally settling down on the table across from where he was propped. “you are around me a lot,” you spoke, your mind still working through the honesty of his words. techno just looked at you as you jokingly offered, “maybe it’s stockholm syndrome.”

“maybe,” he agreed with a breadth of a chuckle as you wiped at some blood on your chin with a smile. he persisted, “or maybe i just really like you.”

your eyebrows raised in the slightest, your smile unwavering. “really?”

“really,” he spoke without hesitance. “i wasn’t whacked hard enough in the head to lie to you.” his pain-filled mind only barely processed his confession; he was still tired and aching, but he knew enough of his surroundings to acknowledge that you remained the most prominent thing in his mind, even when the voices were dulled by his pain. they did mutter when he saw you press a gentle hand to your heated cheek.

“that head comment is debatable,” you sighed, dropping your hand from your face. he rolled his eyes. “but.. i really like you, too.”

“really?” he questioned, almost with a mocking tone as his heart swelled in his chest.

you gave him a look, but still spoke, “really. which is crazy of me, considering you almost die every time i look away.”

despite the happiness that still lifted his heart, he gave you a deadpan look in return. “technoblade never dies, y/n.” you just rolled your eyes, though your smile never left your lips. 

“keep thinking like that, and you’ll never see it coming,” you warned, taking a moment to scan your eyes over the wound you had wrapped only minutes ago.

techno gave you a skeptical look. “was that a threat?”

you let out a laugh, pressing your hand to the bandage on his arm, feeling the warmth radiating off of the cut. “no, it was definitely a promise.” you gazed up into his amused eyes, giggling again as he admired your amusement. his eyes began to feel heavy as your eyes began to look at his unscathed armor instead. when your gaze flickered back up to see his eyes fluttered closed, you immediately tapped at his cheek, “none of that. i need to properly concussion test you before you can doze off, tech.”

“right, right,” he huffed, opening his eyes again with great effort. “pretty lady telling me what to do. gotta stay awake.”

you rolled your eyes once again. “you’re just gonna keep complimenting me until we get the all clear?”

he shrugged. “yeah.” you let out a laugh, bringing up a hand to rest of his cheek. “keeps me amused.”

“i’m sure,” you hummed, moving your hand down to his good shoulder. he looked into your inquisitive eyes for a moment before watching as you leaned forward and pressed your warm lips to his own. his eyes closed again, but this time with joy and pleasure rather than exhaustion.

[box-architecture]

Winnie The Pooh AU, Dreamnoblade.

-

Techno of the Blade had lived in this enchanted forest for quite a long time, ever since his dearest friend had extended an olive branch to him- which meant that Techno could live in the truck of his olive tree while his friend perched in its branches. It was a perfect fit for them both, for Techno was a pig who much preferred to stay on the ground, while his friend was a bird, and could appreciate the skies with a closer view.

Techno was very fond of his home, from the bubbling, burbling creek, to the potato fields he had so carefully cultivated over the long years, to the few eclectic neighbors that lived in the forest with him. It was incredibly peaceful, and just what Techno was looking for in a home.

Which is why of course he had found himself worrying over the arrival of a brand new neighbor in the forest.

"The Great Technoblade isn't worried at all," Techno informed the narrator. "You're making a fuss over nothing."

Of course, even as he said this, he glanced at his calendar. The arrival date was today, he had double and triple checked. He had even made sure to check Philza’s calendar, despite it being at the top of the tree, a place he very much did not prefer to be.

"It's important to be punctual." Techno defended, and went to grab the Welcome Basket off his dining table.

He hadn't been sure of the new neighbors likes and dislikes. He didn't know anything at all about them, really, so he settled with things he personally found comforting: potatoes from his field, a few copies of his favorite books, and a gold coin one used to rub their thumb against when they needed something to do. If his neighbor didn't like these, he could at least say he tried his best.

"I'm not giving him my bell, though." Techno added as he walked out the door. He raised his arm high until his fingertips just barely brushed the edges of the bell hanging at his front entrance. "I think that would be considered my best."

"Hey Techno!" A voice called. At the top of the olive tree, his oldest friend- Philza Minecraft- called down to him. "Are you going to see the neighbor?"

"It's time, yeah!"

"Did you remember to pack my cookies?"

"Of course I did." Techno said. He hurried back inside to grab the parcel of cookies in his pantry, tucking it beneath the cloth of the Welcome Basket. As he did, he heard his cuckoo clock, reminding him not to be late.

He walked through the woods at a timely pace. It was a wonderful day outside; the gentlest of breezes made the leaves rustle, and the shade of the trees speckled the ground with light. He fought the urge to play an old game where he'd jump from one light to another, like a particularly interesting game of hopscotch.

"Hello Technoblade!" A pink face peered up at him from the stream's edge. Niki the Axolotl gave him a bright smile. "Its nice to see you. Are you meeting the new neighbor right now?"

"Indeed." Techno nodded, hooves going a little faster now that Philza wasn't watching. He raced along the stream, and she swum quick alongside him. "Have you seen him yet today?"

"Just from a distance. He never got close enough to the water for me to say hello."

"Do you want me to get the wheel barrel?" Techno asked, ready to change directions towards the Big Shed nearby. "We can meet him together if you're up for it."

"Oh no, that's perfectly fine. I'll meet him later at the Welcoming Party, won't I? We shouldn't overwhelm him so quickly."

Niki, as always, had a point. The new neighbor was likely to be as wonderfully odd as the rest of Techno's friends in the woods, which meant that one of his quirks could be preferring smaller gatherings to big ones. Techno would have to find out. The thought of learning all these new things made him a little anxious, but also excited.

"I take offense to that," Techno informed the narrator as he began to cross the rocks at the calmest part of the stream. "The Great Technoblade fears nothing and no one."

As he said this, he nearly slipped into the stream, but managed to save himself and his basket from being soaked at the last second. Niki giggled.

"Alright, alright, I get it." Techno sighed. He made it to the other side, thankful at feeling the grass and dirt path under his hooves. He checked his fabric body to make sure he was still sewed up, and then drew his red cape around himself. It was a good thing he left his paper crown at home.

"Wait, Techno, before you go-!"

Niki drew herself up to sit on the rocks, pulling off her backpack to rummage through it. She pulled out a silky bundle tied with a small purple bow. It was handed to him very carefully.

"For our new neighbor, since you're giving him the Welcome Basket," She said with happy wiggle.

"I'll make sure it gets to him," Techno nodded very seriously, tucking it away into the basket. Niki beamed at him, and he felt very warm and content at the trust she had placed in his ability.

"Thank you so much. I'll see you at the Welcome Party tomorrow!" Niki waved her hand, and then slid back into the water, seeing him off before swimming back towards the lake.

The forest soon gave way to an open clearing, and, just a little further, an unused garden next to a large burrow. It was very plain. His new neighbor had only arrived a few days ago, so it was too much to expect things to be blooming and colorful.

Maybe, if his neighbor was in need of a helping hoof, Techno could show him how to garden like a pro.

Technoblade stood in front of the door and paused. And waited. And waited some more. The nervousness returned, and he struggled to push through it to knock on the door.

"You're distracting me with your chatter," Techno grumbled at the narrator, and finally raised his hoof to knock at the door.

However, before he could even start, the door opened. A rabbit in a green cloak stood in front of him, glowering.

"Why are you standing in front of my door like that?" He asked flatly.

Techno tried not to look too sheepish. "I was preparing myself for my entrance. Are you the new neighbor?"

"I just moved in here, so I guess I am." The rabbit squinted at him. "Why are you asking?"

Techno drew himself to full height, and proudly presented the Welcome Basket. "I am Technoblade, I live in this forest and I've come to welcome you."

For a moment, it was silent. The rabbit seemed baffled at the display and unsure of what to do about it. He slowly took the offered basket, and held it close to his chest. He peered at it, and then up at Techno.

"Uh, thank you?" He said hesitantly. He glanced into his house. "... Do you want to come in?"

Techno grinned. Success! "I would be honored."

His neighbor hopped into the burrow, and Techno followed, shutting the door behind him.

The place was about as plain on the inside as it was on the outside. He expected there to be loads of boxes in the living room, or on furniture and shelves, waiting to be opened. But only two smaller ones were tucked into the corner by the chair. The kitchen he was led to was no different, a single box opened up on the counter, and when he leaned over to peak, it was filled with a set of white plates.

The rabbit set the basket on the table before opening the cupboard and grabbing two mugs.

"What's your name by the way?" Techno asked, not wanting to refer to his new neighbor as 'rabbit' any longer.

"Dream." Dream said without fanfare. He twisted the handle of the sink and filled both cups with fresh water. "Are you thirsty? Here."

He set the cup down on the table. An attentive host. Techno could appreciate that.

"Thank you. Would you like any help moving in? I can lift things pretty easily, and it always goes faster with friends."

Dream looked at him a little oddly. Yeah, maybe it was too soon to pull out the 'friendship' card. Still, Techno was determined that by the time the Welcome Party happened, they would be the best of friends. He wasn't sure if it was the sad state of the rabbit's home or his closed off demeanor, but Techno of The Blade was a curious pig, and he wanted to see if he could get Dream to crack even the smallest of smiles.

[antimony-medusa]

PARKOUR PRO TAKES ON EPIC LEVELLED CHALLENGE (REAL) (HEARTBREAKING) (NOT CLICKBAIT)

Ranboo emerged from his front door and squinted into the rising sun. His house loomed behind him, a block of stone hanging in space next to more identical houses. The local neighbourhood of parkour pros didn’t have a lot of variation. The ground between the houses was a uniform grid of blocks of dirt placed two blocks apart, far enough that you could only jump it if you sprinted. Ranboo sat back on his heels to enjoy the view, and then grabbed frantically for purchase as the wheels set in the heels of his iron boots (custom heelies) slid on his stairs. He caught himself and took a deep breath, fingers digging into his doorframe. Falling would suck. He was better than this. He wouldn’t fall. His eyes dropped to the space between the blocks, the place where one of his feet was sticking over the edge. Or: Peerpressure Parkour Civilization AU

Status: 1/1 chapters, updated 9 August, 11,240 words

Fandom: Dream SMP

Rating: Teen Audiences

Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Characters: Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)

Relationships: Ranboo & Technoblade

Tags: Alternate Universe - Parkour Civilization, Minecraft Mechanics, minecraft parkour, Is this angst or fluff well look out it's a patented classic NEITHER, This is sarcasm mostly, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Tommyinnit-Typical levels of swearing, peer pressure duo, There's also endersmile and allium and discduo, but this is a peer pressure fic, MCYTblr Summer AU Fest 2024, Ranboo Has A Spine The Tensile Strength Of A Chocolate Eclair, Peril, fucked up power structures masquerading as a utopian meritocracy, He/Him and They/Them Pronouns for Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), It/Its Pronouns for Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF)

THAT"S RIGHT BITCHES IT"S THE SECOND FIC IN A DAY I AM WIRED ON CAFFEINE AND PARKOUR. Inspired by the fantastic @ranboo5's art, the soundtrack being Ranboo & Technoblade's Excellent Adventure on loop, beted by @droidofmay who kindly pointed out the multiple sentences I just stopped in the middle of and moved on from, I emerge from a google doc covered in blood to bring you 11k of peerpressure duo.

I really really tried to keep it to 5k you guys. You don't know how hard I tried. Anyways. Parkour. Tommy is here for a bit. You can play spot the skeppy.

It SHOULD be accessible even if you haven't watched the source video, droid hadn't seen the videos. If you have a reasonable familiarity with minecraft mechanics slash have watched MCC you should hopefully be able to carry through.

A pinch hit for @mcytblraufest! HAVE SOME PARKOUR.

[twilight-skies]

A copy of my liveblog on discord through the entire DSMP portion of Jack’s stream. If you can’t watch it, this give you the gist, and every piece of lore.

Okay I’m ready

Jacks getting himself into lore mode

“Wiki updaters get ready. Play some jump in the cadillac”

Surreal

Okay he just got distracted by a tweet apparently rosanna pansino is siccing the FBI on mr beast

It’s happening

HES IN PANDORAS VAULT

elder guardian jumpscare

My god the last time I saw this room technoblade was streaming

Disclaimer I was not interested at all in jacks pov so I will not be understanding any references to his own lore. Manishroom. Appears to hold emotional weight

“Wonder where all my friends are (opens tab) ……..oh. Guess I’m here alone.”

“Legitimately emotional. God this is so fuckin’ stupid bro…..I actually got sad. Toby gave me this mushroom on [my] very first day [on the server]”

Calls joining the dsmp as the beginning of the career he has now (affectionately)

Does not know how he got in this prison or how to get out. Trying to remember Sam’s secrets /hj

HES CALLING TOMMY OJ THE PHONE FOR HELP. Tommy is in the bathroom

The phone at the mic. We’re truly back

Jack lost a bet to Tubbo (You Laugh, You Loose) and that’s why he’s on the server now

Surprised that it survives intact to this day. “So I’m actually uh. Trapped in the prison. And I think [Tommy] had OP— not to spoil the illusion”

Tommy never sucked up enough for OP. He was a true bad boy

“Fuck me, man��� -Tommy realizing he’s gotta log on to the dsmp

“It’s like looking a dead child in the eyes” -tommy

“Yeah I expected to laugh at that dead child! And now here I am feeling real remorse” -jack

“Oh, christ…….” -tommy getting on

Jack very nearly leaked the dream smp IP in the year of our lord 2024

Tommy was in fact getting ready for bed and has been thrust back into the horrors of his OC

I can’t tell if this horrid audio lag is legit or intentional for lore. The dsmp streamers have returned to gaslighting— oh no it’s legit he’s trying to fix it lmao

Tommy does not have OP on the dsmp but Toby does

Jack is ringing toby

Toby is not picking up

Near leak number 2

TUBBO ACQUIRED

Toby is coming

The DSMP remains a viewer spawnrate hack

The prison has been broken for ages

TUBBO ONLINE

“Everyone’s logging on to break me outta the prison. I gotta put on my lore music”

He has initiated his lore music

Toby is experiencing technical difficulties

Best lore stream ever

Discussing the ending. Mixed feelings on it

This server is so laggy

It will not let Tubbo in

Jack is mortified at pinging the DSMP discord server. However he is threatening to dm badboyhalo to get out of this place

TUBBO LOST HIS OP

toby has departed.

Bad is busy. Jack is dming a secret server operator guy that he hasn’t talked to in years

“We can at this point only pray”

“Get Phil do it” -chat

Jack is refusing. I would die. WAIT HE IS

SECRET GUY PULLED THROUGH

HE HAS BEEN TELEPORTED

WE ARE BACK

Man. The random messes in the sky…..

“IT WAS COOL?!” Jack seeing Las Nevadas

The lag is insane

I’m not being dramatic this is literally the first time I’ve ever seen the inside of the casino

Tommy has rejoined

I think they’re entering lore mode

It’s begun

Jack has canonically been alone at the casino this entire time

“We can make it canon that I’ve been here the whole time” -jack

“Chat, L’Manburg doesn’t exist anymore. We can’t go back there. Now let’s win big” -jack

He has semi broken the roulette wheel. He freaks out, like man who’s lived his life in solitude at that table for years. He walks outside. He gasps,

“Is that…t-t-t-tommy?” -c!jack

c!tommy has arrived.

c!tommy is asking “seriously, what happened”

c!jack is having him fix the wheel

All Jack cares about is the wheel. You can practically hear Tommy. They (characters) are back

He’s following tommy somewhere

“I have a house. It’s nice.” -c!tommy

c!Jack knows he could just take the money but he’s been surviving off the thrill of gambling

c!Tommy moved far away from the central zone. Brings back too much. Feels unreal seeing it again

“Joy, fun, sadness, pain, too much of it all” -c!tommy

They’re approaching the community house.

Oh my god

Are they going where I think they’re going

I know this path

I’m going to explode. Jack doesn’t know where they are

c!tommy doesn’t live here

“No. Oh god, no” - c!tommy at the idea of living here

HE COMES HERE A LOT THOUGH

Sidenote what’s crazy is the server remaining intact yet abandoned and tommy just living here in peace, with everyone just gone and jack being surprised to see him here, fits perfectly with my own headcanon of what happened to the group in the end

c!Jack jokes about buying c!techno’s house. Is told it’s techno’s house. Immediately, comedically, backtracks

c!Technoblade doesn’t even live here but c!jack knows to still put respect on that man’s name

He calls techno living here ‘cultural significance’ this is hilarious from a character pov

he looked at the compound and types “o7”

tommy just sure here outside the fence and sits here “as long as he needs to. Sometimes minutes, sometimes hours”

This is making me ill in every context including that of my headcanons

It appears tommy was for retconning the nuke but jack would rather keep it

Jack’s officially called it the epilogue

The nether……

Hes realized his mistake of sprinting on the prime path. Everyones subbing

Bench spotted

SNOWCHESTER.

Reminiscing in his old house

Looked through the nuke lab. Chat is screaming because he didn’t check on Micheal (guys he’s with his honey-vendor dad of course)

Walking through the battlefield of the prison escape. Like he’s trying to murder me

………

Disregard that. Death begins now.

“There it is! The first place I was a part of. Then technoblade nuked it”

“And now I’m here. And this is the ruin.”

To paraphrase: he really came here expecting to make fun; he’s thought of the smp as something behind him, and it is. He came here to have a laugh but it’s…nice. This arc is finally, fully closed. He is planting the Manishroom, the one thing he’s maintained since day 1, in his original L’Manburg house.

“God just— picking through ruins to make this. So…poetic”

“Not even a lore-bit, this just feels like a nice way to close it out. That feels important to me. Thank you for being here,”

“I always felt like part of the [dsmp] group. Now I feel like my own guy. Really is a new arc”

“I didn’t like letting go of the mushroom. Felt like I wanted to cling on to it forever. But I feel like this was the right thing to do.”

Some more personal reminiscing at the end

Returning to the roulette wheel at Las Nevadas; c!Jack Manifold’s final resting place. Getting that big win; all in on red!

[caseykaydoodlesnonsense]

[A commission sheet with examples and prices. The first image has a person grinning nervously as they gesture to a sign reading "WHATTUP my monitor is fuckin kaput, and I need that to attend classes, so I'm Opening Commissions". This page shows uncolored sketches, priced at $15: they are black and white lineart drawings of BDubs as Hypnos from Hades, Rick Rounds from Hello from the Hallowoods, and a faceless person posed with their legs crossed labelled "your OC here".

The next page shows two price tiers: colored sketch/simple illustration for $25, and comics, which are $15 base + 5$ per panel. The examples for the colored sketch/simple illustrations are: a colored drawing of three of the boatem members (Scar, Mumbo, and Grian) as toys (a plastic doll, a potato head, and a corduroy doll respectively); a black, white, and red illustration of a kneeling person with an empty skull, reading "if i only had a brain"; and Technoblade on the edge of a snowy mountain in a blizzard. The comic examples also indicate what they'd be priced at: a five paneled comic of Kim missing his shot at the hanging corpse and Harry finding it attractive at 40$, a four panel comic of an audience member asking Jonny if Martin is going to be okay and Jonny laughing at them at 35$, and a three panel comic of BadBoyHalo asking Techno and Ranboo if they've heard disembodied voices near the egg at 30$.

The last image shows full illustrations priced at 50$, with a +10$ addition for backgrounds. The examples without backgrounds show a vote for Charlie Slimesicle poster modeled after Rosie the Riveter, a MumboJumbo wheel of fortune tarot card and a GoodTimesWithScar hermit tarot card. The examples with backgrounds show JoeHillsSays floating in space and reaching towards the viewer, a GoodTimesWithScar hanged man tarot card in front of a waterfall of lava, and a knight of wands tarot card of the notia from Notia.]

(thank you @stone-stars for the image ID!!)

if you're interested in commissioning me, send me a DM here on tumblr, or fill out the google form linked in my description (if you don't see it, it's coming soon). I'll be taking a max of five commissions at one time, on a first come first serve basis, with a waiting list forming after those slots are taken.

Some things I WILL draw are:

NSFW

Gore/blood/violence

Body horror

Fucked up monsters

Furries

Some things I will NOT draw are:

Pregnancy (no exceptions)

Vore

Mecha (can't guarantee quality)

I reserve the right to refuse a commission request for any reason.

if you're interested in something not quite represented by the tiers here, feel free to message me! I'm happy to work with you :3

link to the commission form, link to my ko-fi 💕

[artistnerd24]

Nostaglia for anyone who wants it:

Hey, hey, hey guys 😁

Remember when Felps was kidnapped

Remember when Foolish tried to assassinate Gegg

Remember when everyone eavesdropped on the Frubbo date

Remember when Quackity got kidnapped and replaced with ElQuackity

Remember Cellbit killing Abueloier

Remember when the Jaidens first found the ice containment places

Remember when Jaiden was a badahh at Juanaflippa’s trial

Remember Bad catching the bouquet at Cellbit and Roier’s wedding

Remember Cellbit and Roier’s wedding

Remember when Vegetta’s mines killed everyone when the French came

Remember everyone bombing Ohio

Remember Tubbo eavesdropping on Elena and Richas during their stream

Remember Osito Bimbo and Cucurevil

Remember the 8 sided wheel

Remember when the eggs were all dirty and disappeared the next day

Remember when the eggs came back on Dia De Los Muertos

Remember Tallulah being a medium

Remember Vegetta having that wolf lore or whatever that was (I forgot)

Remember the Technoblade memorial

Remember Foolish being employee of the month

Remember Spreen’s betrayal

Remember the angel/devil being kicked from their job and becoming human Rubius

Remember Maximus code lore

Remember when Max and Pierre where a thing

Remember Ayrobot

Remember Walter Bob

Remember Baghera and Maximus making a song on Max’s show

Remember Gegg winning the debate

Remember the codes pretending to be the eggs

Remember how scary the codes were

Remember the Cellbit ad prank that caused his villain arc

Remember Skeppy meeting Pomme

Remember Roier punching Pepito when he met him

Remember Sunny calling Tubbo poor when she met him

Remember Bagi freaking out about being a mom

Remember Niki and Empanada planning to make a bakery

Remember when— *gets dragged off stage by mutuals*

[first-try-techno-challenge]

FIRST TRY TECHNO CHALLENGE: PROMPT WEEK

Join Technoblade fans for the week of August 1st to August 7th for the First Try Techno Challenge Event! 

Spin a different prompt wheel each day and share the results of a 30 minute brainstorming/sketching/writing session! If you’d like, you can spend more time and share a final result along with your half-hour “first try!”

Technoblade and Friends,  Technoblade Versions,  Situations,  Design Prompts,  All

[wrenthewriterishere]

Serial Killer - SBI

note: I’m going fucking crazy. I listened to R u Mine by Arctic Monkeys while I wrote this.

Warnings: Weapons, insane people, idk

This is just word vomit of the SBI as a crazy, killer family idk what you want from me bro.

Wilbur is definitely the manipulator or the family due to his charm and personality that just naturally gives people sweet vibes, kind of leaning into a more natural role of maybe a calm Joker type killer if you catch my drift? I suck at explaining my word vomit my brain is like a hamster wheel.

Technoblade leans into the straight up Michael Myers type of stalk/killer vibes in my opinion but also my brain immediately went DEXTER. (Ifykyk) so idk really but I feel like he’s just the killer that’s like ‘Bro you’re a POS’ ‘…’ ‘U die now’ you get me?

Philza is full on a cult leader, with how many kids feel comfortable with this man he’s easily a cult leader, fight me.

Tommy is uncanny valley or Mandela catalogue.

[bleue-flora]

Ahhh and so maybe he didn’t automatically come to the prison to rescue or visit Dream (either as a fellow ally or because prison goes against everything he stands for), because he suspected that Dream was there intentionally and he didn’t want to get involved (that and he was on vacation to the dsmp equivalent of Italy lol)…

But then Quackity comes around (one of the people very vocal about his dislike of Techno and Dream) talking about how he’s been visiting Dream and how Dream’s changed and such leading Techno to suspect that something bad is happening in the prison cuz ain’t no way Quackity is spending so much time there for any good reason, as Techno would say “it’s just in your nature.” Perhaps he suspected torture, it is an easy assumption to make when factoring in the Revival Book and Quackity’s tendency of trying to take power. Or maybe he didn’t think that far, just that Dream may have put himself there on purpose, but surely Quackity was not part of whatever plan Dream had cooked up. They were very much enemies, after all. Dream ruined Techno’s execution for starters, and if Quackity tried to drop an anvil on his head and put an axe through his heart over a couple withers, what would Quackity do to the person who rained TNT from the sky until L’manberg was nothing more than a hole...

In any case, Techno had to know that Quackity’s presence meant nothing good and while Dream didn’t cash in his favor, he did save his life so the least Techno could do was visit him to see if he’s alright - intentional imprisonment or not - whether Dream requested it or Quackity is lying…

So, when Dream tells Techno about what’s been happening, he is unsurprised. Unsurprised by the trap, unsurprised by Quackity and Sam working together, even unsurprised about the torture. It confirmed his suspicion and the panicked way Dream mumbled “you were my only way out of here” confirmed his course of action…

[44:32] Dream: "He’s been torturing me." *punches Techno* "He—I didn’t—I didn’t write that note." [...] Techno: "Quackity, was lying you say?" Dream: "Yes." Techno: "I—I’m not—I’m not gonna lie to you, Dream? I—I—I kinda… I—I kinda had a feeling he was lying… But I kinda had to visit anyways, just to—just to see how you’re doing, get to the truth of things, you know? You know?"

Because what’s really interesting (that I’ve never noticed before making my video) that perhaps Techno noticed is Dream’s own contradiction [clip]. Originally, when arguing with Techno, his reason for why no one has seen his house is to keep it secret:

Techno: “I—I believe you man. The redstone—the amazing redstone house that’s just never been witnessed before, but Trust me it’s real. I believe you.” Dream: “Noo, we-well—okay. Y—yeah, you’re right—it’s right cuz why would I—see I keep my house a secret because then nobody can come and pillage it—and barge into my house like I—I’ve done.”

But then later, when Techno is making fun of him at rhe portal he says something different:

Dream: “I have a—it’s a—okay, you’ll see. You’ll see.”

Maybe Techno picked up on that. Though that does go slightly against what he says later in prison about not believing Dream [clip] but perhaps he just says that when what he was really thinking was ‘I hoped you were lying’… like it’s really weird for Dream to be keeping his house a secret to then show it to one of the most notorious looters and then is prepared enough to save Techno from his execution but not himself from losing two lives? It doesn’t make sense and I love how brushing that all aside Techno I think would’ve visited anyways because he treats people like people and to hear someone has been in near isolation for months is concerning no matter who it is like he sheltered Tommy when he was actively stealing from him after all…

[26:12] Techno: “Strange what five months of near total isolation can do to a person… As we know, it’s always a positive effect.”

rewatching the prison podcast and the way c!techno talks about the prison especially re: 'i told you i had a house', makes me think that he had a good idea that c!dream was in there on purpose.

because i absolutely can imagine him hearing about what happened at the attachment vault and mentally calling bs on the idea that not only c!tommy and c!tubbo could beat dream like that but y'know. this deeply paranoid man, who worried about spawn trapping and all that, would've made an actual vault/evil lair like...... That.

[hermitcraftx]

technoblade, in his "beating minecraft hardcore with a steering wheel" video: you know, we could fix global warming if we blew up the sun

*awkward beat of silence*

techno: globe would cool right off. just an idea. consider it.

[tommyssupercoolblog]

This is the internet liveblogging:

FUCK CIGGARETESSS YEAHHHH

PAUL BROTHERS INCEST JOKE?? OKAY???????!

Hit da streets...violence

NOOOOO NOT THE ANIMAL CROSSING NOOOOOOOO

Oscar for dream video real

THE FUNNY ASS QUOTES LMAOOOO YOOOOOO WAIT THE MURDER ACCUSATION?!!!!!! "ALLEGEDLY IN MY OPINION"

LMAOOOOOOOOO THE I GET LESBIANS APOLOGY 2 IN THE MUSCLE SUITTTTTT

CIA diss omg

SONGM????? HOLY FUCK???!!!!!!!!!!!!! nahhggh mate is leaning into the messy bitch "he should resolve it privately" thing h8ers are saying

MURDERERERRRRRR LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JSCHLATT TOO??? OKAYYY

Music scrapbook montage genuinely slaps. Love the music

TECHNOBLADE REVIVED-

"which is defenitely not AI" lmao

TOMMYINNIT RUNNNNNNNN watch people take this genuinely like the vapely thing 💀

excuse me what the fuck??? Prime branding on a baby..... Logan already branded his baby with lunchly.....

OH MY GOD FUTURE TOM s. Says he dies of a heart attack.... Uh oh

GWIMPO................ We love GWIMPO

Gay Trump cruising time

STAGE INVADERRTR lmao the pun.

Shitty toy brand under the fucking sphinx OOOOH LOVE THE MONOLOGUE BRO POPPED OFF HOLY FUCK HE'S GENUINELY GOING OFF??????? HE'S BEING GENUINE???? BRO POPPED OFF????!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD???? GOOOOO GOOOO GO KING GOOOOO GO KING........... LMAOOOO THE ALIENS.....HOLY FUCKKKK WHAT THE SHITTTTTTTT.

Pausing the video I need a second. OH my god that was the highlight. Hooooly shit..... He's BASED...... Okay okay. Breathing. Taking a breather. WOO. Okay.

Superbowl bit letsgo, pressing play

WHEEL OF DEATH AND KNIVES? OKAY

Eww gross id verification.... NO NOT THE HEART ATTACK NOOOOOOOOOOOO SAVE HIM SAVE HIM we didn't even get to hear his opinion WHY IS NONOEN SAVING HIM??????? OMG THE CREW US JUST CHILLING??? WE'RE STILL FILMING???? HELLO????? LMAO???????? SAVE HIM?????? HE'S JUST THERE??????!!!!!!! OHL

I. Okay and that's the end

So. That was the funniest one so far, Imo. He's improving so much and developing such a unique style of comedy??? Bro is popping off??????? You can see his artsy film influences as well, ouooough...... Bro is going to go to film school or some shit just watch I'm betting on it I'm betting he will

[l0cked0uttt]

How They Would React To You Asking Personal Questions (Angst)

Characters: Dream, Technoblade (Not featured), Wilbur (Not featured), Quackity (Not featured)

All can be seen as either platonic or romantic

Angst no comfort

A/N: Honestly, I think my new favorite way of getting inspiration is to spin a wheel with numbers on it and have the number correlate with something different (Ex. 1 is male reader, 2 is gender neutral etc.) and whatever it gives me I have to work with it, it keeps it random but also keeps it original for me. That's how I've been doing a lot of these stories so far, or I just take inspiration from another story that I enjoy.

CW/TW: Swearing, lots of arguments, touchy lore subjects

Y/N will be used (meaning Your Name)

Dream:

Your relationship with Dream has always been pretty normal, despite living with one of the most hated people on the SMP, you were untouched.

Not because you were super strong, it was just that no one had any reason to hurt you.

In all of the past wars and battles you had always stayed impartial, never picking a side, however that doesn't mean you didn't have friends.

You were the closest with George and Dream, having come with them when they first decided that this land is now dubbed the Dream SMP (and L'manberg later on). But you also got along with Tubbo and Tommy, helping the boys get out of trouble when Wilbur wasn't there to bail them out.

That doesn't mean you didn't voice your opinion to your roommate, You had often told Dream that he needed to stop acting childish and just give Tommy his discs back so all of this can stop. However he always refused, giving some half assed excuse on why he couldn't do that often times saying "They're not Tommy's discs, their mine, he needs to learn that and to learn to not steal from me."

As more and more conflicts began to pop up the more and more sheltered you became, you had always stuck to your philosophy and a few wars wasn't gonna change that. But with being sheltered, mean news didn't travel as fast especially if you weren't from the nation in which the news came from.

Y/N almost choked on their drink when they read the letter. It was times like this when they thanked the few people on the SMP who told everyone what was happening, whether that be a new war or battle or if someone knew was joining but this time, the news was far from anything Y/N believed anyone on the SMP was expecting.

They had heard about Tommy's probation and assumed nothing of it. Sure the boy was crazy and loud and had even pulled some not so funny pranks on Y/N but they ultimately forgave Tommy, he was just a kid, with all the more adult responsibilities Y/N didn't mind Tommy being a bit of a dick every once and a while.

Well it turns out that Tommy couldn't keep it together for 3 weeks and ended up burning Georges house down resulting in what Y/N was assuming was Tommy's probation to be even longer, lasting until he was 18. At least that's what they thought.

Well they were dead wrong, Tommy had been exiled from L'manberg and because he wasn't necessarily welcome in the Dream SMP, meaning he would be totally exiled from everything and everyone. Y/N understood that there comes a point where you have to put your foot down and you can't just brush over everything he does but exile? That definitely seemed like it was taking it too far.

The news of Tommy's exile was a shock to a lot of people, some people celebrated it, knowing that most conflicts would probably stop because Tommy was the cause of a lot of them but exiling a teenager just didn't sit right with you even with his actions.

When Dream got home later that day, you had tried to press him for answers asking questions like, "What happened to the probation until he was 18?" and "Come on Dream even you should see that this is a bit too cruel."

Dream brushed off all of these questions either flat out ignoring them or just dodging the question.

"Tommy had it coming to him." Dream said as he sharpened his sword.

"Had it coming-? Dream! Has it not crossed your mind that Tommy is still a kid?"

"He made adult decisions so he's gonna get adult consequences, no one's gonna baby him, we all know that'll just cause more problems than solutions."

"I know that, but exile? Not even-"

Y/N was cut off by the loud crash of the stool hitting the ground when Dream started at them, he had a scowl on his face as he stared at them.

"Stop talking about it, Tommy got his punishment and he'll have to see it through, whether your pacifist mindset agrees with it or not."

After that, the two of you kept your distance, and despite you never acting on it there was a constant voice in your head telling you that you had to go looking for him, no matter how many times you ran the scenario through your mind, exile was never the next step that should've been taken.

And with that, you decided to keep a close eye on Dream and more specifically his behaviors, you noticed that he began to leave sporadically throughout the week and at random hours at the day, sometimes he would leave for an hour and sometimes he wouldn't be back for more than 3 and his armor and weapons would be suspiciously clean.

You had debated on following him multiple times but always decided against it, Dream was still your friend after all and he was a grown man, if something was going on, he would tell you, or you could just ask him.

After about a month of this behavior, you finally gathered the courage to ask him. And this time, you were getting a straight answer. So you asked him one day after he got back.

"Dream, we need to talk."

Lets just say....that talk did not go as planned.

********

Apologies to anyone either waiting for this or was looking forward to the other characters I think I started writing this in late 2023 but I have a terrible concept of time- ANYWHO hoped I finished it off with an interesting enough ending and maybe one day I'll come back to this who knows!

I do plan on getting out at least 2 maybe 3 other drafts tonight and then sometime tomorrow doing the rest and or fixing my guild lines because they're a little rough and I am in the works of setting up a masterlist

Word Count: 918

[honey-rye]

Colour Wheel challenge! Thanks for the collab discord homies <3

Red Guy and Mikey by @hyperfixated-homo

Casey and Willow by @bucketofbugz

Momo Kigsaeri and Jennika by @jennikas-actual-girlfriend

Hunter, Casey Jr, and Technoblade by @kqrmen1

April by @rbtlvr

Leo and Wendy by @honey-rye

Donnie and Sandro (<- @/leo-kinnie) by @peanutrat20

Tsunami and Kraang Prime by @breezehurricane