#texan jumping spider

[bugid]

i found this very tiny spider a while ago but wasn’t really able to identify it. found in central texas :)

Basic: spider

Species: a Gnaphosid? possibly an Eastern parson spider (Herpyllus ecclesiasticus)??

that guy is hard to identify! still not 100% sure on this one, the pattern is slightly off and this guy is very grey. I even checked the entire list of Texas spiders to see if I had any better ideas but I don’t, so I’ll stick with this guess. I think this guy is a juvenile (100% will be if he is an eastern parson spider) which I believe is the source of my troubles

[thenaturalpet]

She’s so cute.

[pinkiepiebones]

One of them Renfield fellas meeting a ghoul? Maybe Mr. Field needs a safe place to stay and the Ministry has open arms ?

Okay first off I read this in, like, the thickest, most typed of stereos Texan voice for some reason??? and it made me put my hands over my face and do a laugh about it, so, um, thank you.

Second,

-~Sometime in the 1980s~-

Renfield was in trouble. He knew that. He had fucked up. He knew that. He had eaten seventeen earthworms, fourteen centipedes, eleven spiders, seven moths, four beetles and a handful of dirt that may or may not have contained ants, and all of their squirmy little souls or spirits or whatever the hell powered them were now powering him as he dragged Master's coffin through the woods. The vampire hunters were still back in town, laying siege to what had been their home for almost a decade. Renfield was sad to see it go, really. He had just gotten his room (well, a storage closet Master allowed him to sleep in) just the way he wanted it. Oh, well. Maybe Master would allow him to have another room at their next residence...

Renfield stopped and dropped the rope he had been pulling. He sat down beside Master's coffin and ran his arm across his forehead, wiping away sweat and leaving a smear of dirt. He flexed his fingers. The power so graciously bestowed upon him by his Master was still flowing. He could keep dragging the coffin all afternoon, find a place to hide Master's coffin for the night while Master hunted, then go back to the town in the daytime to see if he could salvage anything. Yeah. That would work. Only if Master doesn't disembowel me or break my legs or, or call me names because of the siege, Renfield thought distantly.

Orrrr there's a person in these woods and they approach me oh SHIT

Renfield scrambled to his feet and took a defensive stance. The person walked, calmly, and as they got closer Renfield saw horns on their head and some sort of mouthless mask on their face. Weird.

"Look, I've had a long morning, I'd rather not kil-" Renfield squinted. "You... you have hooves? Those aren't boots. Hooves. Huh. Alright." His heightened senses picked up other things, like how quietly this person moved, not crunching a single leaf or twig along the forest floor, and the unmistakable aroma of petrichor and sulfur wafting off them. He shook his head and moved to persuade the approaching person-thing to stop when a voice filled his brain-

//WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE.//

Renfield reeled back. He was used to Master being inside his head , speaking to him. This was a different sensation. This was cold and hot at once, a metallic tingle in the backs of his eyes. It was... Wrong.

He stumbled. The masked person turned it's head, bird-like. It regarded Renfield with eyes so dark no light seemed to touch them. It looked just past Renfield to the coffin he had been dragging.

//YOU SEEK REFUGE. COME WITH ME.//

The person-thing turned and Renfield watched it walk away. It had a tail. Dumbstruck, Renfield gathered up his tow rope and began dragging Master's coffin again, mind buzzing with sleep deprivation and confusion and anxiety. I shouldn't worry, Renfield thought. This guy hasn't got a cross on him. And he's got a tail. And hooves. Huh. Did I eat a venomous centipede?

They walked out of the forest into a clearing. The person-thing leading Renfield stopped and pointed- Renfield's eyes widened at the sight of thick, curved claws- to an eintrely too ominous-looking spired black building ahead of them. Gargoyles that resembled the person-thing stood on the roof.

//THE CHURCH TAKES ALL KINDS.//

"Ah," Renfield started, "well, thanks but no, I haven't been in ages, and my Master is not the church-going sort..." He started to turn around, but the person-thing put a clawed hand on his shoulder.

//THIS IS NOT THAT KIND OF CHURCH.//

"Oh?"

The person gestured to the roof. Several gargoyles jumped down rather gracefully and scurried past Renfield and before he could protest they lifted Master's coffin and headed to the door. The one that had led Renfield motioned for him to follow, and he did, because he went where Master went.

The inside of the church reminded Renfield of Drac- of Master's first home- the high walls, the dizzying stairs, the drapes, the candles... Master's castle didn't have nuns or moving gargoyles or bishops and cardinals in black, however. The people seemed entirely unperturbed by the arrival of a dirty, sweaty, pale man and a large coffin, which was nice. Speaking of the coffin, the gargoyles had carried into a room just off the entry hall. Renfield followed them and found himself in some sort of office- the walls were lined with shelves hewn into the stone, shelves that were all but overflowing with old books. The coffin had been placed on a desk in the center of the room and a befuddled little man in black bishop's robes was arguing with the gargoyles.

"... No, I don't care where you found it! We do not bring strange coffins into the church, especially not into my office! Papa needs this res- Oh," the man straightened a little when he noticed Renfield staring. He had a thin moustache and full, fluffy sideburns. He also had rings around his eyes when made Renfield wonder if he had somehow survived a bout with the plague.

The man waved his hand and the gargoyles filed past Renfield and out the door. "How do you do," the man said in a tired voice. "I am Archbishop Copia, and I do apologise if the ghouls were at all, ah-" he tapped his temple. "It is difficult for most people to listen to them."

"Renfield," Renfield bountly introduced himself. Then he blinked. "I'm sorry, did you say 'ghouls'?"

"Ja, yes. Nameless ghouls from Hell."

Renfield nodded, not understanding.

Archbishop Copia shuffled around his desk, speaking as he went, "Anywho, you and, uh, this-" he gestured to the coffin occupying his desk- "-are welcome to stay here as long as you need, forgive my rudeness but I need to go find Sister Imperator to see about, ah, not having guests in my office..." He stopped in front of Renfield and smiled that tight sort of 'I'd rather not be here right now' smile.

"So, please, have a seat, and we'll get you squared away. Maybe even find a washcloth so you can deal with-" he gestured to his face.

"-this whole situation, here. Eheh."

Archbishop Copia brushed past Renfield, muttering in Swedish as he went.

The bewildered familiar moved to Copia's desk chair and sat down. His power had ebbed fully and he was feeling the burning ache in his shoulders from dragging Master's coffin. He looked around the dimly lit office and noticed several inverted crosses hanging from one of the stone shelves.

Huh. Perhaps Master will like this church.

Renfield placed a loving hand on the lid of his Master's coffin.

There seems to be plenty here to eat, at the very least.

[dragonsblood-and-bones]

saw your reblog of the southern folk practices and ey!!!! another texan witch!!! if i can ask, what’s your favorite bit of texas flora or fauna?

Hey that’s so cool!! thanks for the ask!! There’s quiet a few that come to mind! Definitely the native species of opuntia, Texas prickly pear, is one of my favorites. Another one I love that is all over the outside of my house lol is trumpet vines. They’re cute little vines that flower hundreds of gorgeous little trumpet-shaped flowers that are yk usually red or orange. That makes me think of Lantana, I love this plant yall it’s like a little shrub and it flowers a bunch of tiny little flowers that are usually red, orange, yellow, or sometimes pink and they’re great for butterflies. Oh and pecan trees! I love pecans. And of course I love the spring wild flowers here so much, black eyed Susan’s, bluebonnets, thistle and blue violets. I do really love seeing some longhorns, they’re very friendly and gentle, it’s so cool getting up close and seeing how fucking huge their horns are yk. We also have a native species of tarantula, aphonopelma hentzi’s, the Texas Brown Tarantula! They’re adorable, they also show up in Oklahoma and Missouri. We also have those yellow garden spiders, jumping spiders, and a lot of beautiful orb weavers. I’m someone who loves spiders and has a lot of pet tarantulas so seeing all these little guys doing their spider things makes me happy. Now a lot of people get annoyed by them but I love the grackles, they’re such funny and interesting birds. Speaking of birds here I also love love love vultures and getting to see the turkey and black vultures up close. They’re so cool. Ooh and the bats!! All yall should go see the bat bridge in Austin it’s really something.

[alaska-gothic]

Once on Discord I said the only advantages to living in AK were low pop density and no large spiders. Someone else who lived in Texas said "Texas big" I posted a pic of AK over the US for scale with the caption "Imagine thinking Texas is big", then someone else jumped in to shit down my throat and accuse me of thinking I was superior for living in a bigger state.

...was the other person a Texan? because I’m not sure anyone else cares quite as much about the size of their state. I mean, speaking as an Alaskan, I care because Alaska is always misrepresented on maps and it bugs me, and I want people to understand how big our state really is, and specifically yeah I do want people to understand how much bigger we are than Texas because Texas makes such a big deal out of being big like we’re not up here being more than twice their size. but otherwise I honestly wouldn’t care that much! and it seems like a really big deal in Texas!

[raeofsunshin]

For Leslie’s mechs asks: 1,4-9, 11,14 &15

Leslie!

Note: Apologies if its too relevant to canon? I’ve had a hard time judging how related you can acceptably be with a mechsona.

1. whats their “id” info (name, age, gender, nationality/origin planet, criminal record?)

Name: Leslie “The Lady Spider” Leize

Age: 23 (?)

Gender: uses she/her

Origin Planet: New Texas

Criminal Record: Not recorded

4. immortal yes/no? if yes, how/why?

Yep! The traditional mechs way. She was a “guinea pig” of sorts, presumed failed and dead- was not.

5. backstory? where are they from? why are they Like This?

Here we go again! Less developed than Della’s, but I think more happens?

Leslie grew up on New Texas in a pretty religious household. At about 18 she broke apart from them to work at the casino down the road. It was a little shady, but it paid well. About two years into the job she ended up blackout drunk and woke up cover in blood with a metal eye and left hand two weeks later. Instead of doing anything logical, she just cleaned herself up and went back to work. That night the casino went up in flames and she died.

And then she didn’t. She woke up surrounded by ashes and darkness and searching for any sort of explanation for why she sort of jumped to conclusions. Leslie, thinking back on her family, made that natural conclusion that she was the chosen one. 

She starts a cult. Essentially pulls a Father Gallahad and declares herself an avatar of an entity only referred to as “Arachne.” Leslie, now known as “The Lady Spider” leads the people of New Texas for centuries, her influence growing over the years as she simply refuses to die or age therefore cementing her claim as an avatar of a god.

She goes more than a little mad with power, until a group of New Texans ambush her, kill her again, and rocket her into space. During adventures in space, she runs into Doctor Carmilla who explains that “no, you're not an avatar of the gods, you're a failed experiment.” This is more than a little shocking to Leslie, who’d spent the last couple centuries sure that she was. Leslie chucks herself into space and chills for a bit.

Maybe she runs into the mechs? Maybe she doesn't? This is my most open ended mechsona that hasn’t been claimed by a found family yet, and I think I’m going to leave her that way.

6. Is their backstory based on any other existing story? if yes, which one?

Nope! I suppose vaguely based on the myth of Arachne, but not a large portion.

7. what tropes are they. don't say that they are not any trope. you know they are some kind of trope

Okay the “Chosen One” trope but only because she thinks she is. Also Anti-Hero! 

8. the most self-indulgent part of them

She's a biromantic ace with religious trauma. It's just me with cool hair and confidence.

9. how much different from you they look?

Pretty different! Shes got really rad hair. Its bright red with a shaved side and braids (its just Ivy's hair…) Leslie also dresses like an alt space cowboy, I do not. 

11. position on the ship?

I have literally no idea. She’s got a god complex? Is that a position? Possibly a navigator? 

14. their theme song but it must be a mechanisms song

Hellfire. Hellfire all the way. She goes a little mad with religious influence so...

15. their theme song but it cannot be a mechanisms song

Rattlesnake by Kabaret Sybarit!

It’s vaguely western and extremely condescending. 

Playlist for her if anyone wanted it: definitely not new texas

[tenderlittleyehaw]

A Reason to Celebrate (Nakamichi wedding)

(CONGRATS TO @frogmoji!!! I really wanted to write something for you! You’re honest to god one of my best and oldest friends, and I love you very very much! I hope this works! Have a beautiful wedding, and I’ll stay tuned!!) ---- It wasn't often they had something to celebrate. Abe looked at themself in the reflection of the glass cabinet that housed the Menagerie of Dr. Macabre's more delicate displays. Chemically preserved eyes stared through their jars, past the reflection, and met Abe's gaze with a sort of milky recognition. The tent's keeper blinked and looked down to their buttons again. They liked to think the jar's inhabitants; dead things, unusual things, were looking at her with a sense of approval. It was like their preparation for the big day was part of some 90s movie montage and instead of stepping out of a dressing room to face a sea of their closest friends, they were presenting their new look to an old pickling jar containing a two headed shark baby. Abe laughed at the thought. They needed to get out of Bartholomew Oswalt's Infinite Bazaar more often. The fair did funny things to your sense of humor. So, of course, the only thing to do about it was go to the circus down the road. They had heard someone once say that circuses and carnivals were the same creatures, but Abe had to disagree. If a circus was a dog, the fair was a raccoon or something. It was nice to visit one's relatives, especially on such an important day.

It wasn't that they didn't celebrate at the fair. In fact, the carnies celebrated all the time, with parties and shouting matches and extravagant bets on the outer limits of the human body, but there was never any good reason for any of it, but today was going to be different. Not that Abe participated all that often. The Menagerie took up most of their free time, and any moment they weren't scheduled to be operating some rickety death trap, they were most likely tending to the fair's meager scientific collection. Ever since Oswalt had decided to invest in living specimens, domesticated animals harboring the rare, minor mutation interspersed with general creepy crawlies, as well as dead, the Menagerie had needed more and more attention. While Abe's official job description was rides operator, they had been quick to jump on the offer. Anything to do with science, anything to even suggest their degree wasn't useless. The other carnies were thankful, especially the titular Dr. Macabre, or Brian, as they knew him. As long as Abe was maintaining the collection, they could stay the hell away from it. Abe didn't mind much. They never liked sharing projects.

But the Menagerie was going to have to hold its own for tonight. Abe had asked off weeks in advance, the very second they had gotten the invitation. The paper sat against the edge of the cabinet, crumpled from where Kero had shoved it into their hands. Wedding of the century, it said, with a big top smack dab in the middle. It was cute. Kero wouldn't have it any other way. Abe's lips twitched into a smile at the thought. They had been so happy when they told them they were getting married. It never crossed Abe's mind that their friend would ever tie the knot, but the second the engagement had been announced, it was as if they and Arlequino had been engaged for years. When Abe went back to earlier memories, the ring was grafted in. Abe was certain that following today, they wouldn't be able to dream of a time where the pair were not Kero and Arlequino Pierrot.

"Knock knock." Abe glanced up. A figure stood silhouetted in the tent's opening, filling all but the upper third. They grinned, and the fair's mechanic smiled back. "Glad to see I ain't too late. Yer still getting ready." "Almost done, Dell, hang on," Abe said, turning back to their reflection. They finished buttoning up the somewhat wrinkled dress shirt. Brian had been kind enough to loan it to them. As a performer, he had a better variety of outfits than they did, and he was always happy to help. Dell walked up from behind them, leaning against a display table containing different sorts of spiders. The Texan eyed them warily for a moment before moving to an ornamental bookshelf on Abe's left.

 "Thems Brian's clothes?" "Yeah," Abe said, struggling with the borrowed tie. "My only pair of dress pants got fucked up in the wash. Just got my uniform. Pretty sure Arle would kill me if I showed up to his big day wearing cargo shorts." "Oh, I betcha they wouldn't," he drawled. "Row boat'd say yer addin' a little... little grit to the ceremony. That crowd could use a lil' grit in some situation like this. Gonna look like a debutante ball in there, just a little weirder." Abe smiled. Dell's ability to jump from 'Kero' to 'Row Boat' still astounded them.

"Is that why you're wearing that suit?" Dell looked down. His face, tanned by the sun, flushed at the cheeks. He was wearing a suit alright. It was white, and Abe could not fathom why the hell a mechanic for the dustiest carnival around would own something so pristine. "Ain't nothin' wrong with my suit." "You look like Colonel Sanders." "Why are you so goddamn mean to me?" Abe snorted a bit, but backed off. Dell leaned back again and let them struggle with their tie for a moment longer before sitting upright. "C'mere. Lemme help you..."

 Abe leaned forwards. As Dell began to fix the moth-eaten tie, they couldn't help but watch his hands. He had lost his right one years ago, long before he came to work for the fair. This wasn't too unusual, the average carnie had something missing, but what made Dell unique was his prosthetic. It was beautiful, intricate, and perfectly sophisticated. What's more, he claimed he made it himself. Strange, considering that he had told Abe he had dropped out of high school at sixteen. Abe found themself doubting him, but not in the way they would have expected. They had watched them work before. Dell was brilliant, the smartest person Abe knew, but why lie? Then again, why not? Secrets were more common around these parts than limbs weren't, and any one of them had their reasons to lie. But today wasn't about lies.

"There we go..." Dell murmured once he finished. He sat back and gave Abe space to look at themself. "You wear ties often?" "Have you ever seen me in one?" they asked, putting on Brian's old, velvet jacket. Dell's smile softened. "Guess not. But I gotta say, they suit'cha mighty well. You should wear 'em more often. Should'ya get the chance."

Abe blushed, and Dell had the decency not to call attention to it. They picked at a loose thread on their coat and tried to find their next words. The sentences wouldn't come easy. Abe and Dell had known each other for years, but this... this was still new. It had only been a few weeks since they had decided to tiptoe away from 'just friends' together.

"Thanks for agreeing to come with me." "Oh, wouldn't miss it fer the world," he said. "Love weddings, and I'm tickled pink to know they're finally gettin' hitched." Dell took a step closer to Abe, and when that was received well, carefully slipped an arm around their waist. Again, he chose not to acknowledge the way they blushed and hoped to God Abe would do the same.

"Now, look at us. Ain't we a sight." Abe leaned into Dell very slightly. If they were a sight, it was an unusual one. Dell in his white suit and bolo tie, Abe in a wine-colored velvet jacket, but it worked. Somehow, it all worked.

“Are you ready, Abe?" he asked. "Think so, I- wait!" Abe pulled away, and Dell let them pass through his grasp. They began to search through boxes and crates, muttering to themself until they stood, holding a jar, with a triumphant 'aha!'. Dell squinted as he looked inside.

"Is that a damn..." "Pink bullfrog!" Abe said proudly. "For Kero! Some kids brought it in two stops back." Dell knelt down, resting his hands against his knees, and took a better look at the critter turned wedding present. "Well, he certainly is big." "And pink." "And pink. Now, c'mon Abe, it just looks like y'rubbed some highlighter on that poor thing." "I know," they said, pulling the jar back protectively, "But honest to god, that's its skin. I've got no idea why it's like that, but I just hope they like it." "Certain they will... Oh, and I got the music box."

 Dell pulled a small, ornately decorated box from within his suit pocket. It had come from a tent three stops down, the one depicting the 'tragic, mysterious story of a murdered duchess'. Abe wasn't sure if any of 'artifacts' they kept truly belonged to late Madame Adeline, but if they were, this one certainly didn't. Some kid wound the music box too tightly and busted something inside. They were just about to throw it away before Abe snagged it and asked Dell to fix it. That was when they asked if he wanted to come along.

"Still think it sounds creepy?" they asked, taking it from Dell's calloused hands. "Think it sounds annoyin'. Must've listened to it a hundred times while fixin it'." “As long as Arle doesn't think so."

Abe put the gift in their pocket. That was the great thing about fair performer's clothes: you were never in want for pockets. They even managed to slip the bullfrog into their coat with only a slight lump to give it away.

"You think he's scared?" they asked. Dell chuckled. "Nah. Reckon he thinks he's scared, but he'll be just so damn excited you wouldn't believe. Kero's a good'un. They'll be fine together. But we're gonna have to get a move on iffin we ever hope to see it!"

Abe grinned and took half a second to fix their coat in the reflection once again. The jar's inhabitants grinned blankly back at them and watched giddily as Dell offered his arm and lead them out of the Menagerie. It was a big day. Spring was here, the skies were clear, and Kero and Arlequino were finally reaching their happily ever after.

What better reason to celebrate than that?"

[frcndeur-blog]

⍤ εїз

RANDOM HEADCANONS; ( not accepting. )

@numericalassassin

⍤ : What does your muse’s voice sound like? Is it light? High pitched? Scratchy? Deep?

Tobias has a pretty rough sounding voice, it’s deep, husky, and somewhat scratchy. Though it can usually change on the emotion he has/ Becoming a softer whisper if affection or concerning or a deeper growl upon irritation or anger.  Tobias does have a voice claim & it’s Travis Willingham. I also want to point out that he does have a Pandoran accent which is sort of like a light Texan drawl.

εїз : How does your muse feel about bugs and insects?

Tobias  H A T E S  spiders and has a serious phobia of them since his childhood consisted of living in a room that was stacked full of them. He was traumatized by the thought of them biting him ( in which they did but not to the extent of his nightmares. ) Tobias will forever be fearful of them but won’t go to the extent of jumping on a chair to get away from it. His reaction to a spider is more along the lines of pure frozen fear.

Other insects consist of little to no fear and he simply either squishes them or takes them outside for Pandora to deal with. It’s just spiders he can’t deal with and usually, Delta has to come to save his sorry hide.

[voidselfshipp]

DEPTH STRIDER

Chapter 2

pt3 time off

/~~~~~~~~~~\

Jer stands up wiping her tears.

--Well I do have a way of going out of here, but you guys May not like it

--honstly I just want to go back to Australia--miss Pauling says.

Jeri snorts and giggles a little.

Spy,sniper and medics heart warm at the sound of the giggles.

--Okay,okay here I go-- she walks up to the shore, not exactly knowing how to call for help to her family.

So she just freezes.

Oh boy.

She bets her aunt and sister are laughing like a witches coven.

--Uh jerico?--before scout can say anything a huge orca jumps out of the sea.

It waits a couple meters from the shore.

Thank the gods.

--I didnt think it was THAT type of 'you May not like It'--Pauling says amazed.

Jerico raises her shoulders as she walks over to the orca, sitting on its back helping the rest up.

--i dont know about this-- sniper says holding onto one of the fins.

Jeri smiles at him --Trust me on this one

She softly kicks the orcas side, who deep dives into the Ocean.

The mercs wait up to drown,but when they inhale...its Like normal Air.

Jer looks at them as the animal swims.

--See? Its okay!

They defenetly need some time off.

At everyones surprise, once back at the shore they all end up staying in snipers farm, seeing as his house was the only safe place for all of them.

--How come you have a motorcycle?

Scout Asks.

--DO NOT TOUCH HER --jer slaps his hand away.

The three of her cats hand her her fluffy jacket, she puts it on, and grabs her pets, entering the house.

She stays on the sofá,knees to her chest,the cats all asleep besides her.

Sniper finds her asleep shortly after, she picks her up bridal style, with a soft smile on his face.

She looked so pacific like that.

He walks to his room,the cats following him,leaving her in his bed, covering her up.

Jer snuggles into the covers.

They smelled like him.

The mercs Keep it down for the rest of the evening.

Jerico feels a soft knock on the door.

--Jerico?--Thats spys voice-- are you awake...?

--Kind of--She says--Why?

--dinner is almost ready, we are waiting for you

--Ill be there in a bit...

She sits up, her cats mewl and rest on her lap, the black cat,void, stretches and jumps on her shoulder, snuggling their head against her neck.

--Yeah I should get changed huh?

And so she does.

A nice, long black skirt,a shirt and a dark green turtleneck that had the shoulders exposed.

She lets her hair down and smiles looking at herself in the makeshift mirror in snipers room.

She grabs her jacket and walks downstairs.

--Alright whats all the fuss about!--jer exclaims leaving her jacket in a Seat.

The men around her turn to see her.

None of them uttert a single word.

She looked gorgeous.

--okay now that im awake, shoosh, ill make dinner

None of them talked back and just decided to hang out in the living room.

--Uh excuse me?--medic enters the kitchen--Can I help

They still had some issues to resolve

Yet, jerico nodds --Sure, we need to add some spices to this!

They both start talking about random things, trying to lighten up the mood.

--You look, very pretty-- the german Man fixes his glasses--

--Thanks med,you look way better without that coat

Both chuckle and he looks away.

He then grabs her hand.

--I just vanted to say sorry--he finally admits--i dont usually regret my actions, but, zhis time is different..., do jou zhink you can forgive me?

--i really dont know medic,but I guess I can try

Both smile and look at eachother,she squeezes his hand and lean in.

--OI! WE HUNGRY HERE!-- scout screams from the living room.

After dinner jerico goes outside, and sits on the Grass.

She sees the moon shining, it looked beautiful, she looks down and closes her eyes.

She was thinking of her family, and what a thing the world is.

She feels a peck of a beak on her hand.

She opens them up and looks at the eagle.

--Hey dad... nice to see you

The eagle caws, as a Ferret climbs to rest on her lap--oh...aunt life,hey

She also sees an owl that rests on a nearby branch

--And aunt chronos

And more and more animals came by, a spider and a bat to name a few.

--The whole family came by, Nice to see

A huge black snake wraps around jericos arm--hey lilith , so whats up?

*we know youve been giving those guys bedroom eyes* now the eagle didnt talk, but jeri understood perfectly.

*yeah* a raven said *life and I voted on the frenchman*

*nonsense!* the snake hissed *Ray and I know the german dude Will win!*

The bat and the spider roll their eye(s) *come on* they say *the aussie is in it to win it*

If anyone were here to see this they would be a little freaked out.

*whatever Twats say* the black cat announces *I say the texan Man wins!*

--Can we not talk about this?!--jericos face is red as a tomato.

Yet her family doesnt understand, so she stands up, leaving the snake and the Ferret on the Grass and walks inside.

She doesnt have any time to deal with that.

[leepacefansnetwork]

Visit to the Halt and Catch Fire season 4 set

SPOILER WARNING.

Piotr Grabiec visited the set of Halt and Catch Fire back in mid-July when the final episode of the series was being filmed. The text below is more or less a raw Google translate from his report for ‘Spider’s Web’. Everyone can google translate and the only added value here is that you don’t have to do it as it’s copy/pasted below, with some minor editing. DISCLAIMER: we had to omit some parts because the translation made no sense, and we had to guess some parts. No guarantees we got it right...It’s obvious we don’t know Polish (heck, sometimes we don’t even know English) but if you do, let us know if there are glaring errors. Nevertheless, it’s an interesting interview, enjoy!

27.09.2017 I flew to the other end of the world to stop and take care of the fire - we were on the set Halt and Catch Fire PIOTR GRABIEC @PGKRZYWY

I had the opportunity to visit the set of Halt and Catch Fire during my past vacation. On location I looked into Comet's fictional headquarters and I was able to talk about the final season with the actors. The questions were answered by Joe MacMillan, Donna Emerson, John Bosworth and Joanie Clark. Halt and Catch Fire is one of the better series that modern television has given us. It quickly found his own identity. It may never have earned such recognition among the audience as the likes of The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones, but it has created some really great, multi-layered heroes. Toby Huss (John Bosworth) was asked why the PC series was so popular with fans, and he rightly remarked that "it's not about computers, it's about people." After watching three seasons I know well that tracking their fate is a real emotional roller coaster. Despite its poor ratings, AMC TV has allowed Halt and Catch Fire to make its fourth season, about the birth of the internet. Lee Pace, Joe MacMillan in the series, admitted that, for the first time, the crew knew that this was the final chapter of their story. Previously, they were never sure whether it was over or whether they would have a chance to return. "It's nice that we can finish it, not finish it and then find out that we are coming back. I think we worked hard on the story and told it as we wanted it. I am proud of what we have achieved, "comments the actor. Lee Pace said these words in Atlanta, where I went in mid July.

As I reached the location, AMC was finishing filming the last scenes of the final season of Halt and Catch Fire. I saw how a big-budget American production works. I looked closely at the work of cast and crew. I went straight to series reality, bending my head against carefully crafted set designs and props. During my set visit, there were actors playing almost all the main characters - characters who we have been watching on TV for three years. The stars included Lee Pace (Joe MacMillan), Kerry Bishe (Donna Emerson), Toby Huss (John Bosworth) and Kathryn Newton (Joanie Clark). I had the opportunity to talk with everyone.

They had one thing in common: each actor was very enthusiastic. We headed out of the hotel early this morning. We drove to the outskirts of the city and upon arriving I got my headphones and was shown to my seat where I could observe the place. It was a glaring hot day. Nobody took my phone, but the amount on the signed document effectively discouraged me from pulling it out of my pocket and taking souvenir photos. After a moment, Lee Pace appeared in the distance, where a woman ran with a suitcase full of sunglasses.. The actor, towering over everyone around, could choose how his character would appear in one of the last scenes. Around him, 30 people were busy. Everyone knew exactly what they was doing - someone was pitching a microphone, someone else was scattering autumn leaves, Lee Pace was talking in a sports car. The whole crew was like a well oiled machine. In its 4th season Halt and Catch Fire jumped to the 90s, and it can be seen at a glance. During the visit I visited several different stages where various scenes from the series were filmed. The spirit of the 90s floated in the air, so Halt and Catch Fire is getting closer to me like never before. The previous series showed events historically placed before my birth, and season 4 is the time I can recall in my memories. As soon as the crew finished shooting Lee Pace and the car scene, we were invited to the next building where we  waited for the callers. On the table in the hall where I conducted interviews, the organizers scattered themed decorations. They gave the context for the conversation and reminded us of what America was like in the days of Halt and Catch Fire.

After a while, Toby Huss appeared at the door. The character of John Bosworth is, in fact, exactly like his character. Characteristic accent and intonation are not forged. "[Bosworth] is not restless, but he can not be called seduced. He is looking for a business that he could take care of in the next phase of his life, "Toby Huss [...] admits his character is not looking at the past with bitterness. Although people who have been protected from being sent off have failed in their personal and professional lives, it does not regret saving them in the first season. John can and is retired, but he can not sit still, it's not his nature. The actor believes that his hero was not about to end, as he finished. Such a person would not have allowed his business to be taken over and then go to jail for Joe and Cameron to realize their dream. "He was preparing for retirement and going off to the sunset with his wife and children," he explains. Toby Huss noted that if Joe MacMillan had not crushed Cardiff Electric, the world would not have opened up for John. Connect with Cameron and his decisions made him change. The Texan understood that women too could run a business and somehow came to terms with the fact that they had taken over the baton. "What a great hero, what a wonderful journey he is going through," comments Huss. He asked if it was initially assumed that John would join the dream team and become a member of the cast. Toby Huss admitted that the story of his character could have ended much earlier. The creators of the series, however, decided that it would be useful for the character to look at everything from the side. Taking advantage of the occasion, I asked about one fascinating issue. In the first season Bosworth led Joe MacMillan's beating by the police to show him his place. The characters never came back to this and ... will not come back. In the 4th season, however, they will have a small common scene in which they will recall the past. Of course the actor did not betray the end, but he admitted that all the scenes with him had already been filmed. Asked about how he liked the ending of his character's history, he said that the last scene was "moving".

The next person I talked with was Kerry Bishé. Her character Donna’s story is no less bumpy than Bosworth’s. At first, she was in her husband’s shadow. Although she was treading in a different direction to the other characters  - she cannot look at her like a one-dimensional villain. However, it is impossible to hide that Donna came out as the black character of Halt and Catch Fire. Kerry Bishe herself twice calls her character "a real monster." Looking back, she realized that her character made a terrible decision, but it couldn’t be helped. "It's the best and the worst. Such deep, multi-dimensional characters are rare and playing such a character for four years has been a dream come true", commented Kerry Bishé. [...] she called him [Scoot McNairy] "her husband from work". She said that when shooting Halt and Catch Fire, they used photos taken during their previous joint performance at Argo. I was very curious if Kerry Bishé had any influence on her character. She replied that the role of Donna has played a big part in her life and for the first three seasons she tried to beg the writers to change some scenes. In the case of the final season she changed her approach. "I was aware that I could not be objective and the changes that I would probably like to introduce should not happen. I could not trust myself that the changes I would ask would improve the series, not just my mood. I promised myself that for the 4th season I would not ask for anything,” declared the actress. The question immediately came from my question about whether this promise was kept and Kerry Bishé said with a smile that it was. She recognized that she trusts people who write the character - which, as she adds later, she has played the longest in her career - but whether it was a good decision, remains to be seen. I asked the interlocutor whether or not she gave the character something in spite of herself. "A story of bad, awkward jokes," she replied. After a moment of reflection, the actress, with a smile on her face, added, "But it's humiliating." Kerry Bishé confessed that she regretted she could not work so much with other cast members. This does not mean she did not work with them at all. She said she had spent a lot of time with Mackenzie Davis in recent weeks, and both had a lot of fun together. We can also expect a new chapter in Donna and Gordon's relationship after the divorce, which the actress describes as "one of the most moving, personal, beautiful things this season." I also laughed at her reply to the question of the reaction that the characters in the previous series had split up. "Thank God. Thank God. What more can you tell these two people to go? Apparently a lot of things, " recalls Bishé. She also admits she envied some of the actors, especially Lee Pace. His passionate character was able to inspire people, and her character, though responsible and wise, could not pull the crowds. "[Donna] finds her way in the last episode, in her own way [...] I feel happy to have reached this place. It's a beautiful, comfortable place to end up, " she concludes on the end of the story for her character. During our interview, it was too early to talk about further career plans for the actress because she had yet to shoot 6 more days. We talked a while back about the third Narcos series, in which my interviewee played a woman from the United States, wife of one of the members of the cartel. I suggested to her that there is a similarity between these series: in both cases we know what will be the end. We know that Donna is not going to create Google. This is probably the only point of contact between the two series. You have to focus on the journey itself, because you know how it ends. We know Joe MacMillan is not Steve Jobs. We focus on what's going on between the beginning and its effect we know, "commented Kerry Bishé. She also joked that she always wanted the Halt and Catch Fire heroes to invent things we did not yet have such as teleportation or time travel, but she was disappointed. Although she thinks that going sci-fi could go down well, she likes the fact that the series is pretty good at the true story of computers.

The third actor to enter the room is Lee Pace, the lead actor I saw earlier when filming one of the scenes outside. In real life he appears even taller than on the TV screen. It seems that the actor dominates every room which he enters. Also, the character he plays is dry and annoying, but talking to him it was obvious that it was just acting. Actually Lee Pace is a nice and enthusiastic man. Like Kerry Bishé, he mentioned that the best part of his participation in Halt and Catch Fire was working with the rest of the cast. "Usually we prepared some dinner and had a few bottles of wine and read the script, including the actors who were not with us. Toby Huss always read the stage instructions, and if Annabeth [Gish] was not at hand, then Mackenzie [Davis] was reading Diane's questions. I read Joanie if she was not there, "recalls Lee Pace, who shared the same talk about the characters and the world they live in. This allowed him to understand why heroes are constantly falling over - they simply do not have to wear masks in their company. "They do not necessarily get along. They are not very good at what they do because they are constantly failing; Maybe they are good at what they do, but they just do not have the luck. But they can be their weird selves, "explains the actor. The actor also notes that Halt and Catch Fire is not conventional television, it is not a story of winners. "I love how Joe is crushed each season. He loses everything and always comes back, always finds the way. He still has optimism. After the end of the previous season, after Ryan's death, he was thought he was tired with technology. But these people [Gordon and Cameron] are constantly dragging him into this world. The prospect of returning to the sandbox with them fills him with optimism and hope, "concludes Lee Pace. What's complicated about Joe? The actor was asked how he sees Joe MacMillan today, 20 years after the events of the show. He replied that he believes Joe now "thinks he is worthy of the love he is looking for". Lee Pace calls the search for acceptance and self esteem the key to understanding this character. "He is battered, tortured, and does not think that he is worth loving. It is sad that there are people in the world without self-esteem. They think that they have to get it, create value, they have to create jobs and make money, they have to do something to deserve the love that comes easily to other people.” It is conceivable that Joe MacMillan is a very distinctive (and characteristic) hero. I wondered if it was a writers’ work, or if Lee Pace added something to him. He briefly remarked that it was not his job to correct the scenes, but to interpret them. Interpreting this character was very interesting. "The screenwriters could have modeled it [Joe MacMillan] on Steve Jobs, but it was not interesting to me. It was intriguing that he was modeling himself on Steve Jobs. He is aware of what he does. Joe does not know who he is. He does not know who he is. At the beginning of this story, people are looking for people who can pretend - just like Steve Jobs or Mickey Michelson, the 80s winners - that's the idea of ​​the winner, because Joe wants to be the winner, "explains Lee Pace. As spectators, however, we know that Joe is losing all over again and changing. The actor is convinced that the character does not want to win at all costs. They start to draw shades of gray, and this season probably finally know who he is. The actor also admitted [...] he did not always fully understand his motives. But he has a weakness for this hero. "I could make friends with him. He is a fascinating and complicated person, and I'm interested in complicated people, " he confesses.

Toby Huss admitted that he likes computers and social networking sites. He noted, however, that as humanity we have come to a strange point in relation to social media. He’s noticed that on the one hand it was a great place, but social networking sites could be full of hate. "People used to talk and everybody smoked. So we smoked those cigarettes, and we talked. Today everyone pulls the phone out of their pocket and does not talk to others, "remembers Toby Huss." We've lost something in the social media world, but we do not know if the change is for the better or for the worse. " Lee Pace, in turn, admitted that he has phases when he enjoys social media, and then stops paying attention to it for weeks. "I recently installed Instagram [...] and I can spend hours watching some silly photos of 15-year-olds dancing, but I found some great photographers there," admitted Lee Pace. Still, he does not know exactly how computers work, but he knows the basics of the machines Joe and Gordon built. He was most fascinated by the development of the internet and the genesis of the global network.

Kerry Bishé called herself a freak, an opponent of technical progress. "I am going on big expeditions and I travel without a phone. It is very important for me to break free from all technology. We do not have a TV at home. This is a specific way of life, "commented Kerry Bishé. But she noted that although she does not like technology in the form of phones, she loves learning [...] promote computer science education among women and minorities. The actress, who plays in the personal computer start-up series, pulled her iPhone's out of her pocket just to show that she had a phone - because she admitted that she did not know how to use it. Asked about the coolest gadgets of the 80s and 90s, she said she would like to have a Game Boy.

[...] Kathryn Newton [...] said that after finishing her work, she brought Joanie home with her, and now she is trying to dress like her character. The coolest element of the 90s for Kathryn Newton was the clothes that are now fashionable again. "Joanie's style is so great - she's cooler than me. Joanie is much cooler than me. We had a lot of fun creating Joanie and her style. Even Joanie's walking style is different from mine, my way of speaking has changed and it starts with her clothes. This is definitely one of the things l liked best, "says Kathryn Newton. As for the impact on her character, Newton admits that much of her work comes about organically. What she wanted to show in her was a certain susceptibility, fragility. Not only is she pissed off, but also lost and lonely. "You can not just be angry and keep rubbing. There must be a reason for this, you have to get the reason for the anger, " explains the actress. However, even if she prepares and repeats the scene hundreds of times in her head, on the set it all changes. I saw this from the director - the sequences of the same scene at times were very different from each other. We met with the young actress a little later. On the day I arrived on set, Newton was shooting her last scene on the show. Asked about the hardest part of the work on the set, she acknowledged that the work was intense and Joanie was not easy to play in the new season. "My character has changed a lot. I joined the show in Season 3 and I was thrown there as a rebellious teenage daughter. But the characters in this series are deep enough, rooted and connected that [Joanie] quickly became a very multi-layered person. She’s not just a girl, a teenager, "she recounts. “Is the actress happy with the ending of her heroine's story?" She admitted yes because Joanie travels and has no fear in her. Newton stated that she would not have the courage to do something similar, but the heroine "has a purpose, and realizing it, she discovers who she is."

Piotr Grabiec has written another account of his set visit, concentrating on the set and costume design. Check it out here: x

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Logan (2017); The Gritty Grounded Superhero Movie that Got It Right

Consumption of media has always had a set of phases that I’ve recently noticed;

  ·         Aspect of life gains much mainstream attention and is promoted and viewed greatly by the masses

·         The aspect is consumed to such extents that people will become tired of the concept, meaning companies will either choose to abandon the aspect and promote something else, or try and reinvent it to try and give it more relevance.

  And it’s not just companies that do this. General people with a fascination of art will eventually drive for the norm to evolve into something other, as was seen in the post-modernism movement of the mid-20th century that lead to the current group of society that relish in pushing the boundaries of what our expectations for certain parts of culture.

  I, and many others also in their late teens by this point in their lives, have grown up with the rise of the self-proclaimed “subgenre” of the superhero movie, self-proclaimed mainly due to the fact that the only real guidelines the genre has is that it must feature larger-than-life beings protecting someone or something. In this time, films like Sam Rami’s “Spider-man”, Jon Favrau’s “Iron Man” and Joss Whedon’s “The Avengers” have acted as landmarks for what I believe to be the first phase of the superhero movie consumptions; its peak. Now that it’s the year 2017 and that this collection of movies have been indulged by the masses for almost 20 years now, I believe we’re about to enter the second phase of this consumption; the evolution, with the movie “Logan” action as its beginning.

  Now many would argue that this isn’t the first time that a superhero movie has tried to break the mould of what is expected, with films like “Watchmen” from 2009 and “The Dark Knight” from 2008. However, I would argue with this for one main reason, and that is these films were too early in the lifecycle of this consumption. The same year The Dark Knight was release, we got Iron Man, the film as I mentioned earlier, marked a big part in phase 1 of this consumption as it was the film to start the Marvel Cinematic Universe; a never before seen collection of characters spanning across dozens of stories and movies. I like to think of perhaps the most major landmark in this consumption being with Bryan Singer’s “X-Men” in 2000, due to being a primarily big movie for its time acting as a superhero movie with a lot of talented actors and filmmakers being attached to the product, including of course Hugh Jackman and his now iconic role as Super-Soldier Mutant Wolverine, also known as Logan. And after all these years of staying with these movies and staying with this character after being there at the beginning, I find it only fitting that Jackman, and more importantly the character of Logan’s swan song act as the jumping-off point for the future, experimental phase of the superhero genre.

  No-where better does Logan address its objective than in its own title. This is by absolutely no-means a glossy, over-blown superhero epic that acts as if every single one of its actions could mean the difference between the end of the world and saving it. Rather this is a down-and-dirty look at Logan and how everything in the hundreds of years he’s been alive have led to this point in his life. This isn’t Wolverine’s movie, it’s Logan’s. This is seen in subtle call-backs to previous movies, such as when Logan speaks to Charles Xavier about how there hasn’t been a mutant child born in years, leaving Logan to think of his entire sub-species as “God’s mistake”, undercutting almost everything Logan and the X-men fought for in terms of Mutant civil rights in past adventures. On top of that, near the film’s conclusion, we learn that Logan himself has been carrying with him an adamantium bullet, the only thing in the world that can kill hum, in case he ever felt he couldn’t take the train on him anymore. Logan is attempted to be persuaded otherwise from his bleak outlook on life by Charles Xavier, no-longer acting as the head teacher at his school for you mutants, but now acting as the only real reason Logan is still living, given the several medical conditions he has obtained in his later years such as dementia and stroke-prone, something very dangerous with the powers that Xavier possesses. As Logan, as Charles puts it, “Waits for him to die”, he is given problems in the form of X-23, a genetically bread super-soldier with the nickname of Laura. As Logan is begrudgingly forced into escorting her away from her creators and former captives, due to him discovering her to be a genetic clone of himself and therefore his daughter in some-sense, Xavier tries to show Logan the good still left in the world as they help Laura to her destination, eventually spending a night with some local farmers whose horses the trio helped round up. However, this only leads into more death, as another clone of Logan attacks the house and brutally murders the residents, including Xavier himself, who gets no final words, and the following scene is buried by Logan and Laura before they move on. This acts as a prime example of the bleak, but never forced, tone of the movie, with all of these actions showing the mental pain Logan endures due to all the lives he’s lost and is responsible for loosing (some of which are implied to have included other X-men). And keeping with the non-conventional superhero structure, the film doesn’t have some big ridiculous ending where the villain is in full power and the hero must use what they’ve learned to defeat them, rather ending with Logan sacrificing himself so Laura and her fellow mutants escape from their creators. Whether he chose to do this due to some sense of obligation to Xavier or due to him actually feeling some sort of fatherly instinct to protect Laura, it still acts as an incredibly sad yet heroic farewell to the legacy of Logan.

  Much of the technicality also makes this film excellent. Hugh Jackman, as expected, gives a marvellous final performance, as does Sir Patrick Stewart as sometimes-kind hearted sometimes-bitter elder to the group that adds a great amount of leverage to the film, helping in being able to care from and sympathise with these people, regardless whether you grew up with or have experienced any of the other x-men movies. The relatively unknown Dafne Keen, portraying the young mutant Laura, also gives what is possibly one of the best child performances of the year, always having a sense of unknowing of what she’s thinking, primarily due to her major lack of dialogue for a majority of the runtime, instead having a very cold expression to a majority of what happens around her. As well as this, the primary dry, dusty scenery of the Texan-Mexican border setting is also surprisingly powerful, and almost gives the movie a road-trip-esc feeling with the stops the main trio make, from casino hotels to abandoned lookout-posts. This execution is likely in no small part due to director James Mangold’s experience with his remake of western “3:10 to Yuma” (also returning from directing 2013’s “The Wolverine”, which hinted greatly at his greater understanding and love for the character, despite falling that film falling short in many areas). Those mistakes however are likely circumvented with his greater involvement with this movie, being also credited as co-writing the screenplay with Scott Frank, a returning writer from “The Wolverine” who also helped with penning Spielberg’s 2002 effort “Minority Report”, another film with an excellent sense of incoming danger.

  Many years ago, the genre of the Western was also in a state of popularity that the Superhero sub-genre is currently flourishing. However, the genre sadly never chose to evolve into anything more and eventually burnt itself out, leaving us with a genre that, whilst helping to inspire the scope and scale of films to come, only has one film every few years now. I feel that where superhero films differ is that it has proven itself many times already to evolve and become more, and hopefully if my predictions comes true, then this final nail in Logan’s coffin will also act as the final nail in the era of nothing-but-formulaic, filler superhero adventures, and the birth of something bigger than the character himself could ever be.

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The Amazing Adventures of Hic v. The Roaches

So I’d been thinking of writing a blog post about my struggles with roaches, and then as I began writing discovered I couldn’t actually write about roaches without swearing at least every other sentence, and decided that maybe this wasn’t one for my official blog. But I still had lots of fun writing it (even if I didn’t have lots of fun living out this experience) so we’re gonna post it on tumblr instead.

Ok right folks, buckle in and prepare yourselves for the epic adventures of HICCUP AND THE COCKROACHES. This bedtime story is going to be mostly pretty gross and inconsistent and laden with expletives so LET’S DO THIS

So I know all you Texans and New Yorkers and People-Who-Live-In-Humid-Climate-ers are going “bro everyone gets cockroaches you just hate them and deal with it” and while I grew up in New York, I have spent a lot of my life in Utah, where it is too dry and too cold and too high for anything other than box elder bugs, so I am NOT ACCUSTOMED TO ROACHES. When I first came to Cameroon, I found roaches kind of interesting. Like, hey, check out this fucking huge beetle thing, that’s kind of nifty. And then I moved into my own home and watched them scatter every time I went to the latrine in the middle of the night, and I was like ok maybe these aren’t so great, I kind of don’t like roaches. And then they invaded my kitchen and living room at my first house and I was like ok so I kind of REALLY HATE ROACHES more than pretty much every living thing in my house, and I have seen some shit in this house so that is saying a lot. And then there was that time where I sprayed bug spray at a scorpion and roaches started DESCENDING FROM THE CEILING LIKE A BIBLICAL PLAGUE and as I stood in the middle of my kitchen clutching my can of illegal-in-the-States bug spray in one hand and a shoe in the other, jumping at every sound, I accepted that I am probably, definitely irrationally afraid of roaches. And before you say, “But Hic! You’ve had spiders and scorpions and snakes and lizards and acid spitting beetles and mice and every other manner of creepy crawly in your house, why the fuck are you afraid of roaches, that do literally nothing to harm you?” To which my response is, look I never said this was a RATIONAL fear man there is a reason I put the word IRRATIONALLY in front of the word afraid up there.

For all you Texans and New Yorkers and People-Who-Live-In-Humid-Climate-ers, I don’t actually have any idea how many roaches you might find in your apartments on any given day. Like, two? Is that high? Is it like five a week? 12 a week? I don’t know man I am completely guessing, somebody give me these statistics. ANYWAY I live in a house with a latrine. Do you know what you find in latrines, other than poop and spiderwebs? If you guessed roaches, you are COMPLETELY CORRECT. So my latrine is connected to my house, which means that my house is a horror show most of the time. As far as I can tell, they also live in my ceiling, and possibly in or near a wall in my kitchen so my house is like Roach City. This is NOT AN IDEAL SITUATION if you have an irrational roach phobia.

I went home to visit my family over the hols this year, and while I was home I paid a visit to this farm supply store, on the lookout for cat supplies for my obnoxiously fertile and flea-prone cat. While I was there, I came across an aisle of — you guessed it, you smarty you — farm grade pesticides. I never thought I could fall in love with what amounts to 32 ounces of chemicals in a bottle but here we are. So I snuck this stuff into the country wrapped in like 12 layers of plastic bags and made it all the way to my house with no incident. In case I was having second thoughts, I was greeted at my home by a LITERAL BUCKET FULL OF ROACHES in my latrine — like, awesome, it’s a good thing I don’t have to pee right now because I am NEVER ENTERING THIS LATRINE AGAIN. That was a lie, actually, I did have to pee but fuck it if I was going to enter that latrine in the dark so I held it til the next morning and had one of the most terrifying pees of my entire life. But it hardened my resolve and so that morning, Operation: EXTERMINATE began.

11: 57am. Operation: EXTERMINATE begins with me mixing up POISONOUS TOXINS next to the horror bucket in the latrine. It’s like one of those scenes in the movies where the people are trying to steal shit or whatever without waking up the dragon. The dragon, in this case, is a bucket of roaches.

Of course as I’m mixing this shit up a kitten just HAPPENS TO WANDER IN. Like fuck kitten you have no sense of self-preservation THIS SHIT COULD KILL YOU

Anyways I realise that I should actually clean out the latrine before I go spraying this magical death sauce on top of three inches of dust but in order to do that I have to ELIMINATE THE HORROR BUCKET. So I go into bugspray the shit out of it only to find that my first canister of moon tiger (this bug spray that definitely does not meet FDA approval and will probably give me 12 kinds of cancer) is basically empty, so now not only are they not dead but all MAD AS HELL (and by mad I mean that probably they’re just really panicked but EITHER WAY they’re trying to escape this bucket). I locked the door behind me so I could go get my other almost-empty canister and then returned to the roaches just milling about the bucket so I SPRAY THE SHIT OUT OF THEM and now I’m letting them stew in bug spray for a while and hoping they’ll die or eat each other sometime in the next ten minutes.

12:39pm. I HAVE SPRAYED THE DEATHSAUCE. I poked a hole in the lid of a Top bottle which sounds like an adequate substitute for a professional sprayer if you ask me. So I squirted this stuff around the walls and the floor of my latrine because there is a LOT OF IT and I just realised that that’s probably because it’s meant for a much larger house and not necessarily because you’re supposed to lay it on really thick but uh I guess my latrine really will be a death trap. I couldn’t get it very high on the walls because 1. I am very short 2. holes in the lids of water bottles aren’t actually QUITE as easy to aim as one of those fancy pesticide sprayers and 3. as much as I want to get rid of roaches I don’t really want a face full of pesticide. Like I’ve accepted that it’ll get on my hands and feet because HOW COULD IT NOT but face? eehhh…

Anyway now we wait to see what happens I guess? I’m gonna spray my kitchen later tonight when the kittens are nice and locked outside. I’m a little hesitant to do my room, because I don’t really want roaches falling and dying on my mosquito net? I might hit under the beds and stuff and just skip the walls.

So basically all that’s left to do is watch them DIE TERRIBLE DEATHS.

I don’t know if they’re actually terrible deaths, they might just die normal deaths.

But die nonetheless.

And also hope that my cats don’t die too.

1:30pm. Like, I rinsed my foot off but it’s still kind of itch and tingly, that’s fine right? It’s either pesticide or residual itchiness from my cat attacking it, unclear.

But if I have to sacrifice my foot for the greater goal of getting rid of roaches, then it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

2:48pm. Operation: EXTERMINATE update: So when I bought this stuff I specifically asked if it was a repellent, aka if I spray this shit on my walls with I have an army of roaches exploding from the walls seeking vengeance like the last two times I sprayed my walls/latrine, and he was like nope definitely not! Which means that there are three possible explanations for the 10+ roaches I’ve seen in the past hour: 1., he was lying out of his ass to get me to buy this stuff; 2., he has a very small roach population so whenever he uses it they al come out but he doesn’t notice it, and therefore doesn’t know any better; or 3., my roaches have decided that being nocturnal really just isn’t for them and they’d rather just chill with me in the daytime.

Basically what I’m saying is that I just sprayed my bedroom because fuck it if I’m going to risk bringing them all out at night, and that this shit had better kill them really fucking fast or I’m going to be partying it up with a shit ton of roaches tonight because the universe apparently hates me.

8:59am. Well, after an only MILDLY HORRIFYING night, I found a total of 32 dead roaches littered throughout my house. Good job, pesticide! 32 down, probably 999,468 to go!

Update: Well, three weeks later, I’ve completely forgotten that I wrote this, BUT I’ve probably swept about 100 roaches out of my house and only two roaches have climbed up my mosquito net in the past two weeks, so we’re calling Operation: EXTERMINATE a success! Go team!

[samanthasroberts]

These are the moments giving Houston hope in the face of Harvey

The rescue efforts in Texas amid Tropical Storm Harvey have only just begun. FEMA estimates it may be assisting Texas for years to come, and as rainwater floods towns along the eastern Gulf Coast into Louisiana and the death toll rises, a semblance of hope is hard to find.

But the flooded plains of Houston, as well as the hurricane-torn areas of Corpus Christi, Rockport, and Galveston, Texas, are strong. Texas is strong, and between the live shots of assisted living patients being lifted into rescue boats and small animals shivering in the rain, symbolic messages and images of kindness and resilience have shown us that Texas, through the devastation, will prevail.

Here are the reminders that Harvey may have messed with Texas, but it will never break the spirit of its people…or pets.

1) The animal heroes

Otis, the dog from Sinton, Texas, walked away from the storm with a bag of dog food in tow, while this scared hurricane hawk took refuge in a Houston cab driver’s vehicle.

This dog is walking around Sinton TX carrying a entire bag of dog food with him. #Harvey #Harvey2017 #Priorities #RefugeeDog pic.twitter.com/fTjUG5Tcok

— Laura Huffman Powell (@LHuffmanPowell) August 26, 2017

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WATCH: A man in Houston claims a hawk would not leave his taxi cab as Hurricane Harvey barreled toward Texas Friday morning. pic.twitter.com/j2nZbarkvZ

— NBC News (@NBCNews) August 26, 2017

2) The beer messenger

One friendly Galvestonian couldn’t help but offer Fox News reporter Casey Stegall a six pack of the island’s finest brew while the storm surged, the hurricane’s touchdown just hours away. Stegall himself called it a moment of levity during serious reporting.

That time a woman in Galveston gave a FOX News reporter beer while covering a hurricane. #TexasHospitality #Harvey pic.twitter.com/2WOluNXy3p

— FOX 4 NEWS (@FOX4) August 25, 2017

3) Company angels

Countless companies and Houston stores have opened their doors to feed and shelter people displaced by the storm. Texas grocer HEB has deployed tens of disaster relief trucks with hot meals, showers, business centers, and more, to give affected Texans a semblance of normalcy in the mess.

Convoy of @HEB disaster relief trucks staged near Goliad, TX today. #Harvey @NBCDFW pic.twitter.com/rOfCnUF0JX

— Brian Curtis (@BrianCurtisNBC5) August 28, 2017

Our Disaster Relief Units are in Rockport (serving community) and Houston (serving first responders), providing meals and more. pic.twitter.com/8g3loRH2Wq

— H-E-B (@HEB) August 30, 2017

Buc-ee’s, the beloved Texas-sized truck stop and gas station chain, allowed emergency personnel to eat and sleep in the store, on its dime.

Thank you to the new @bucees in Katy for feeding First Responders today! Welcome to the neighborhood. #Harvey pic.twitter.com/9oAVDqfTbt

— FBCSO Texas (@FBCSO) August 25, 2017

Buc-ess just let emergency personnel in to stay the night. And we can eat and drink on Buc-ess. Thank Buc-ees – Love Texas 😎 pic.twitter.com/VUASelsctF

— God & Country 🇺🇸 (@ezeduzit4ever) August 28, 2017

Mattress Mack, the owner of Gallery Furniture, a Houston furniture outlet, opened up two stores of his stores to people seeking shelter.

Our GF N FWRY & GF Grand PKWY stores are open for those in need. If you can safely join us, we invite you for shelter and food. God Bless. pic.twitter.com/IHHgjKmjMY

— MattressMack (@MattressMack) August 28, 2017

Our GF N FRWY & GF Grand Parkway locations are open for those in need.If you can safely join us, we invite you for free food & safe shelter. pic.twitter.com/NqNdLo2iIP

— Gallery Furniture (@GFToday) August 27, 2017

Waffle House, too, has kept its lights on and has only closed two locations because of flooding. They’ve even bussed down “jump teams” from Ohio, Tennessee, and Georgia for extra help.

Waffle House has a clandestine special forces team https://t.co/rWYpUy7ieV pic.twitter.com/fsFyGWa7WJ

— ＷＥＴ ＡＲＭＡＤＩＬＬＯ (@BauceSauce) August 30, 2017

You ever heard of the Waffle House index? #CajunNavy fueling up. pic.twitter.com/Sq15oPm0ZM

— chelsea brasted (@cabrasted) August 29, 2017

4) Spider-Man spirit-raisers

Droves of private citizens who have been able to escape to floodwaters are pulling together to donate money and resources for relief efforts, to rescue other Texans, or, like this Spider-Man, to make life easier on storm evacuees.

Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man making kids smile at the GRB: pic.twitter.com/K2NSweXAE4

— Stef Manisero (@StefManisero) August 29, 2017

And this one. These videos courtesy of @RobbieVaughn79 are priceless: pic.twitter.com/DARkwFmaAy

— Stef Manisero (@StefManisero) August 29, 2017

HUNDREDS of people are lined up to volunteer in downtown #Houston. So awesome pic.twitter.com/eExiPqdPM2

— Andy Campbell (@AndyBCampbell) August 29, 2017

These people formed a human chain to help save a man from a car that was being swept away by floodwaters https://t.co/S44wSTexA6 pic.twitter.com/uS5sOqAmp1

— CNN (@CNN) August 30, 2017

5) Silver-lining chasers

Meanwhile, others have found a silver lining within the isolation, literally taking to the streets to entertain themselves (despite, you know, a storm surging through the city).

I asked my buddy in Houston if he was OK yesterday. He sent me this video of bros playing beer pong on I-10. pic.twitter.com/0Nj3BSmjeE

— John Turner (@TohnJurner) August 29, 2017

6) The informal ‘Texas Navy’

Private citizens throughout Houston are hauling their boats through water as part of the “Texas Navy,” fashioned after the “Cajun Navy” that formed as a rescue response to Hurricane Katrina victims. They have evacuated people unable to reach the overwhelmed police, fire department, and Coast Guard.

#Texas Navy to the rescue. Volunteer Civilian Samaritans line I-10 feeder at Dairy Ashford. So proud. #khou11 #Harvey #TexasStrong pic.twitter.com/bHeYdZwqN3

— Shern-Min Chow (@ShernMinKHOU) August 29, 2017

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Our @TexasGameWarden #Harvey2017 response efforts have resulted in the removal of 5,676 persons in water-related rescues and evacuations. pic.twitter.com/neD08UF4cA

— Texas Game Warden (@TexasGameWarden) August 29, 2017

View post on imgur.com

The dog rescuers of Houston well done guys pic.twitter.com/eK3rmXR4gp

— dominic dyer (@domdyer70) August 28, 2017

People heading to Houston with boats to help those in need Here's how you can help ->https://t.co/K6z54tu4UH

(via FB Veronika Previte) pic.twitter.com/UCj2BfAt4T

— Complex (@Complex) August 30, 2017

Duck tour boats from Austin are on their way to deliver supplies to Houston, too.

I love this story: Austin duck boats in Houston to help deliver medical supplies https://t.co/fKcKkilw89 via pic.twitter.com/FqVjz30ufh

— Emily Ramshaw (@eramshaw) August 30, 2017

Amazing scenes in Richmond, a half hour from Houston. So many boats. So many evacuees. So many volunteers. Nonstop all day. pic.twitter.com/uzKBiQ4uNb

— Jacob Rascon (@Jacobnbc) August 28, 2017

7) The Texas Navy-beer messenger hybrid

Because nothing beats a rough rescue like a few shots of vodka (or water, if you listen to this reporter).

8) The impromptu journalist rescuer

Even reporters have helped to save several people through the storm.

Here’s the moment just before @DrewGriffinCNN’s live shot that he realized a man was in need of rescue https://t.co/Hb20IhyEaK

— Joshua Chavers (@JoshuaChavers) August 30, 2017

Inspiring moment: @CNN journalist helping an elderly man from his flooded home to safety https://t.co/h8qUcBeQ5E #realnews @edlavaCNN #flood

— David Beard (@dabeard) August 28, 2017

9) True comfort foodies

These bakers trapped inside one of El Bolillo Bakery’s locations decided to make the best of a tight situation and baked dozens of sheets of pan dulce for displaced Houstonians.

The bakers at El Bolillo got trapped for a few days & utilized their time to bake bread for flood victims ❤️ I love my city #HoustonStrong pic.twitter.com/SGqVAALWs0

— B (@YonksHTX) August 29, 2017

10) Persistent shelter-needing activists

People looking to help the displaced even dragged famed televangelist Joel Osteen for not opening his megachurch, seemingly unaffected by the storm, as a shelter. It wasn’t until pressure mounted that the preacher decided to open the church’s doors, claiming that he hadn’t before because the city hadn’t asked.

11) Education saviors

When the children of Houston finally go back to school, they’ll have three free meals a day to look forward to—which is one less thing parents will have to worry about in recuperating from the disaster.

Houston ISD will offer 3 free meals a day to ALL students in the district in the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey https://t.co/Qdk0JvjU9A pic.twitter.com/AMN1QVnuN0

— The Root (@TheRoot) August 30, 2017

12) Whataburger

And if the actions of kind, giving Texans aren’t enough to lift the spirit, perhaps this worn Whataburger sign blessed with a rainbow is just the symbol we need.

Another sign of resiliency in Texas. @Whataburger #TexasStrong pic.twitter.com/VVC40RLaSG

— J J Gottsch (@jjgottsch) August 29, 2017

Related video

This transgender comic book author is finally ready to publish as a woman.

Texas will come back better than ever

— Whataburger® (@Whataburger) August 29, 2017

Source: http://allofbeer.com/these-are-the-moments-giving-houston-hope-in-the-face-of-harvey/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/09/21/these-are-the-moments-giving-houston-hope-in-the-face-of-harvey-2/

[isakthedragon]

A Dragon Sized Adventure Chapter 39

Chapter 39: A Man’s Home is His Castle

*Crash and everyone else enter into Cortex's Terrarium, which seems to represent Cortex's lab and dimly lit castle.*

*The screen is black until someone (the cameraman) is heard saying "We're live in 3..., 2... ..." and the screen comes alive.*

Chick: "Welcome back, our most loyal viewers. Although we are still here on this spaceship, we are not alone. We are following the heroes through the rest of their journey to defeat, as they told us, a one Dr. Eggman and the already notorious Dr. Cortex."

Stew (Wearing cat ears): "Have you heard what that Dr. Eggman has done, Chicky-poo? He should be public enemy numero uno since he has been a threat to that hedgehog's world for years! From blowing up the moon to splitting the Earth, Dr. Cortex is weaksauce in comparison!"

Chick: "Well, let's listen in to what the heroes are going to do next."

*Camera cuts from Chick and Stew to Crash and the others.*

Sonic looks at the tapestries aligning the halls of the castle and does a barf face "Geez, your Dr. Cortex is mighty ugly, with that under bite and oversized head. Did a truck run over him?"

Coco: "I think you call it 'a face only a mother would love'."

Sonic jeers. "Yeah, if his mother was blind."

Shadow tries to steer them back on course. "So, this is his castle?"

Crash nods. "Along with his labs and dark basements too."

Von Clutch: "Mm, it looks exactly like what was in your video games, Crash. I feel like I know this place pretty well. Can me and Pasadena lead the way here?"

Crash: "Sure! Although, I don't see much worry. The lights are on."

*From what sounded like a loudspeaker, a voice could be heard. It was Cortex.*

Cortex laughs. "So, the lights make it easy, huh? Well, let's fix that."

*The loudspeaker shuts off as the lights all go out as well. Save for the lights from some of the lab area equipment and some moonlight, it was almost pitch black.*

Sonic: "Geez, it sure is dark now. I can't even see anything!" *Most of the others agree with Sonic, even when their eyes finally adjust to the darkness.*

Von Clutch: "Ah, mein time to shine! Mein rotes kybernetisches Auge lässt mich in der Dunkelheit sehen."

Spyro: "What did he say?"

Von Clutch: "I said: 'Mein red cybernetic eye lets me see in the darkness'. It can let me see even in the lowest of light. Just keep with me and Pasadena and we will get you guys through."

-----

Level 66: Advanced Darkness

Crates: 159

Time Trial

Sapphire: 2:00.00

Gold: 1:55.00

Platinum: 1:50.00

Ee-lectrics to Save: 5

Helping Partner: Crash

Beasts: Spiders: They fall from the ceiling to hog the path. Snakes: They pop for little holes to try and bite you. Bats: They fly in periodically in a hall to hog your jumping space.

Mutants: Voodoo Bunnies: "Precious Bandicoot, make soup!" Uka-Uka's dangerous servants that use their spears and dangerous rain dances to shock and poke you. Ee-lectric: An Eel + Basilisk hybrid that can control electricity. It can shoot it like lightning bolts to jumpstart anything electric, perfect for making light bulbs and generators work for a while.

Von Clutch: "Ah, it looks like our first outing is in the ruins below the castle, but someone has shut off all the torches, making it really dark in here."

At least there are more platforms than there were the last time, but it is still a  dangerous walk, what with all the rising and falling pillars and platforms all over the place. There are also some platforms that can only move if you hit a generator with a lightning bolt from a Ee-lectric. Around the halfway point, there are some invisible platforms with Wumpa fruit hovering over them that will lead the way to the last colored gem, the Blue Gem. A platform there will take you back to the main path. All in all, these ruins shouldn't be too difficult to traverse. 

Achievement Unlocked: Jaw-some

-----

Level 67: The Bandiclapper

Crates: 178

Time Trial

Sapphire: 2:10.00

Gold: 2:05.00

Platinum: 2:00.00

Ee-lectrics to Save: 5

Helping Partner: Coco

Beasts: Rats: They tend to walk down the narrow hallways to trip you up.

Von Clutch: "Oh, we are now in the dark halls of the castle. We better watch our step since I can see that some of the floor has rotted away. Keep light-footed, ja?"

The good news is that this place isn't as bottomless pit filled as last time, but the bad news is that the wood floors are weak and will collapse in some areas so hurry and jump away. Other than that, there are quite a lot more axes swinging about, so watch where you stand. The Ee-lectric are useful here since you can have them hit the lights or the generators strewn about the rest of the levels to charge the lights for about 10 seconds, if a light is hit, or a minute, if a generator is hit.

(Although, if you can go Super, you might be bright enough to get rid of the darkness. ;) )

Achievement Unlocked: Tripping into a Bottomless Pit

-----

Level 68: Darkened Machinery

Crates: 167

Time Trial

Sapphire: 2:05.00

Gold: 2:00.00

Platinum: 1:55.00

Ee-lectrics to Save: 5

Helping Partner: Tails

Machines: Crawlings: Weird robot things that go back and forth on walkways. Spiked Saucers: Little flying machines that fly around on their own business. Be careful to not touch those spikes and bodies. Camera Robots: They also tend to just float around, looking at you with their camera eye. It's not right to record, so spin them away.

Von Clutch: "Oh, those dummkompfs! When they shut off the power to make it dark to see, they accidently shut off all the machinery too!"

Indeed, in fact, nothing is working in the machinery area, not even the elevators, but that can be easily dealt with if you just hit them with a lightning bolt. All the cold and hot pipes are not working either. So, other than the danger of falling to your death, this place is just more long and tiresome.

Achievement Unlocked: Who Forgot to Pay the Electric Bill?

-----

Level 69: Thundered Walls

Crates: 185

Time Trial

Sapphire: 2:15.00

Gold: 2:10.00

Platinum: 2:05.00

Ee-lectrics to Save: 5

Helping Partner: Rouge

Badniks: Beaker Throwing Lab Assistant Pawns: Nothing really is notable about them, they just throw beakers off and on.

Beasts: Evil Hands: Whatever mutants these things are, they are clearly hankering for anything that walks by on the outside walls. Attack those hands away. Vultures (Gray): They just fly up and down in place. Best to use them as step stones across the pits.

Von Clutch: "Oh, my, it sure is raining heavily on the sides of the castle here. Better watch our footing."

The rain shouldn't make jumping that much harder, but you should still watch where you are going since a misstep is either a fall or meeting some spikes. Watch those moving platforms and the vultures to be able to make it across  the castle wall on this stormy night.

Achievement Unlocked: Slippery when Wet

-----

Level 70: The Electric Lab

Crates: 169

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:55.00

Gold: 1:50.00

Platinum: 1:50.00

Ee-lectrics to Save: 5

Helping Partner: Crunch

Badniks: Electric Lab Assistant Pawns: They have lost some of their skin so they look quite Terminator-like. It also gave them an electric barrier that comes and goes. Knock them into pits to kill them for good.

Beasts: Blobs: Little yellow gelatin things that bounce down halls. Jump on top of them to defeat them.

Von Clutch: "Oho! We are in the labs now. We must be close to the end. Lets hurry! But we still need to watch our step, ja?"

Despite the loss of power, most of the electric generators are still working and discharging balls of electricity about, so watch your jumps for those. There are also doors and floors that move about when you hit ! boxes, so watch those well to get through them. You're almost done, so get to it!

Achievement Unlocked: No Shocking Developments

-----

*Upon their return, the lights in the terrarium turn back on. Unfortunately, Von Clutch, Pasadena and Crunch were teleported into one of the castle rooms as the door is locked behind them. It turns out they are in the generator room for the old Evolvo-Ray.*

Von Clutch: "Hoh? Where are we?"

Pasadena: "It aint familiar to me, that's for sure."

Crunch looks towards the ceiling. "Hey, isn't that-"

Uka-Uka appears in front of them. "The Evolvo-Ray? Yes, Crunch, you are correct."

Clutch fangirls again. "Ah! Are mien eyes deceiving me? It's the dangerous mask, Uka-Uka!"

Uka-Uka seemed confused. "I don't know who this Possum and cyborg are, but you got that right! I am the mighty Uka-Uka! Fear me!"

*Von Clutch kept fangirling, keeping Uka-Uka confused. Crunch and Pasadena's vision turned to the back of the room, where Aku-Aku was chained to the wall.*

Crunch: "Hey, it's Aku-Aku over there! We need to free him!"

Uka-Uka breaks away from his confusion. "Oh no you don't! If you want your precious mask back, you will have to fight me!"

Pasadena giggles at Uka-Uka's small size "Okay. Anyone got a barbecue grill?"

Uka-Uka starts flying toward the Evolvo-Ray. "It won't be that easy, you little Texan! Not until I use the Evolvo-Ray to make myself better!" *A blue  ray envelopes Uka-Uka, making him evolve with a whole body to attack us with.*

Boss: Uka-Uka

Von Clutch: "Hey, this seems oddly familiar. Don't we have to hit Uka-Uka hard enough until he is dazed and then control him?"

He is right. Attack Uka-Uka with your attacks and the mutants, avoiding his eye lasers and punches and kicks, until he collapses into a daze. That is your time to take control of him and force him to destroy a generator powering the Evolvo-Ray. Doing so will also break a chain that was wrapped around the generator, freeing Aku-Aku a bit. Uka-Uka will also throw you off of him, regaining control. Do this 2 more times to defeat Uka-Uka and save Aku-Aku.

Achievement Unlocked: Taming the Mask

*Destroying the last generator causes Uka-Uka to lose his new body and also awakens Aku-Aku from his deep sleep.*

Uka-Uka: "Damn it! I was supposed to win this time! No matter, it will be too late for you to do anything very soon..." *He disappears from the room as Aku-Aku flies to Crunch. The door behind them is unlocked.*

Von Clutch: "Ah! Is this vonderful or vhat? Ve have saved your spirit guide Aku-Aku!"

Pasadena: "Let's mosey along now, shall we?"

*Everyone comes together again and they leave the Terrarium.*

Death Head's Bridge

Cortex sighs. "See, didn't I say so? They beat him easily, like paper!"

Eggman is starting to get angry but tries to keep himself collected. "Cortex, you are really starting to make me think you aren't a real villain at all, with this defeated attitude of yours."

*Just then, The large pink egg known as N. Trance appears and hypnotizes both of them.*

N. Trance: "Oh, both of you stop acting like a bickering couple. I'll deal with those heroes. I just got to crack their minds first..." *And just as quick as he came, N. Trance left.*

Next Time: Can you survive the mind boggling adventure of the 5th Dimension Terrarium?

[thomasarndt]

Nicaragua! November 2016

Let's talk Nicaragua! 3 weeks really flew by. I stayed 3 nights in Leon. SO HOT! Every morning I left my hostel and was drenched in sweat within 15 minutes. As I said before- just have to give in to it. The first thing I did too was take a tour of the roof of the Catedral. Which is white. Which means it was an OVEN, scorching hot up there. But beautiful views. Gorgeous churches each one very different. I saw the patron of houses/housing, where people gift her little clay houses and notes (promesas) asking for help to buy or fix or keep their homes. The most interesting visit was to the Museo de Mitos y Leyendas. The Museum of Myths and Legends was formally called "The 21." Built in 1921, it was used as a prison by the state military and is famous for water torture and beatings, especially prevalent during the civil war. The Museo serves 2 purposes now- on the walls, there are paintings depicting the treatment of prisoners of war. The exhibits however are of Nicaragua's many "Leyendas". Done up as mannequins with masks, you can see all of these different local folk tales, most of for which there are traditional dances and songs. La Cegua, La Gigantona, El Enano Cabezon, El Padre Sin Cabeza, La Llorana and Toma-Tu-Teta are some of them. Not a few of them are witch-like women who troll the streets at night taking revenge on men who cheat on or abuse their partners. La Gigantona is a giant, light skinned woman who represents the Spanish woman, and "the big headed dwarf" is a mestizo man who is in love with her and follows her around. Don't know what to say about that one, but there it is! Actually I do think it's interesting in terms of how a mixed-race society plays with a lineage that is not black and white, that is very determinedly of European as well as Indigenous American and to a large degree African roots. I took a tour with a wonderful man who was formerly a Sandinista guerrilla. There's a former palace where a bunch of the veterans hang out, smoke, chat and cook food together. He took me first to the Southern, indigenous part of town, where we found the tree in which the Spanish colonizers hung the famous martyr indigenous resistance fighter, and continues to serve as a symbol of resistance. Later we walked through the rest of Leon and went to the patio where the dictator Somoso was killed by a revolutionary poet, who left an incredible letter to his mother about his decision. Many murals and walls pocked with bullet holes from the battle for independence. One interesting part of the trip was to learn that after the Sandistas won the revolution, they still had to continue fighting because of thee US-implemented Contras (contra-revolution) mounting battles from Honduras and Costa Rica. I travelled by bus (Leon Terminal was exhausting in terms of hawkers and "helpers") to Esteli, up in the mountains close to Honduras. This is one of the major coffee producing areas. I was in fact approached at a bar by a jolly Canadian man who said "American?!" Me, "yes." Him: "Great! You're here for coffee right? I was just talking with my Nicaraguan business partner who provides beans for my coffee business and we were saying 'where are all the hipster baristas?' And then we saw you!!!" URK!!!! Haha. I stayed at the Luna Hostel and while it was busy I asked if I could be in an empty dorm I spotted and she said sure no problem- ended up having my own room for 2 nights! Across the street at the cafe, was greeted by a loud and massive semi-trailer parade of young university students blasting music with themed floats (almost falling off whenever they slammed to a stop). I was dancing and cheering them on when a group of girls spotted the nachos I was eating and I was animatedly encouraged to run over and share with them on the float! Never has anyone been so excited about nachos, I'm telling you. In the morning, I did the best thing which was going to Somoto Canyon. Took the bus a few hours up there and was picked up by a really sweet man who helps run treks into the Canyon. We were outfitted with almost dry sneakers and life jackets and walked down the road and up into the muddy, jade-pocked hills, and down into the gorgeous canyon, surrounded by vibrant jungley trees. Our two guides grew up here, jumping from the cliffs and playing in the water. Our group of 3 couples plus me (I'm always the 9th wheel or so) trekked through the water, jumped into Rapids, dove off cliffs purportedly 10 meters high and just floated, as water streamed off the cliff sides and giant spiders hopped across the river. For me, just the best. I met an Italian couple that had a rented pick up and they drove me back to Esteli for the night, heading the next day to the Noche de lots Aguizotes. I wanted to do something special for/around Dia de lots Muertos and this seemed like a good bet. In essence, it did not disappoint. We checked into our hotel, ate Texan BBQ and headed to the center park. So many people, face painting, kids, adults, and a high-pitched energy of a wild night. This night is about fire, handmade beastly wooden masks, and, unbeknownst to me, dozens of chichero groups- brass bands. We stationed ourselves near a literal ox cart, literally pulled by a literal ox. Teenagers on the cart and below in ghoulish costumes, not bought at the store, torches, and plastic spray bottles of gasoline that they periodically put to use through the torches. The band would strike up and everyone would just do this wild, jumping around, bouncing heathen dance that was such a damn delight. I was in heaven. Cold beers being sold from all side, and everyone awaiting the parade to begin. It was a mad affair. I was in heaven in hell. My phone was stolen from me- 5 guys came pushing past me as if they couldn't get by, I felt like I'd been put through a washing machine a bit and by the time I felt the hands in my pockets my phone was gone and they had disappeared into the crowd. Impossible to do anything at that point, so I did my best to keep my spirits up but after I found myself suspiciously regarding everyone around me, I decided to call it a night. One of my friends had also been robbed in a similar fashion, so we got to do the Nicaragua adventure of Samsung phone shopping together the next day. I wonder if the phone companies are paying these guys? We went to an amazing Masaya volcano with live, flowing lava that you could hear. It sounded like a roaring ocean. Then to the Laguna de Apoyo, the sweetest, clearest little volcanic lake where I chilled out for a few days and met some really wonderful Managuans who I would stay with later on. Then onto Granada. On my way out on the bus, all of the kids were getting out of school. As I watched them smile and watch and react and plan and think and space out and eat Popsicles and expertly handle the bus and laugh and relate to each other tears filled my eyes. Each of them so fully themselves, learning the ways of the world, doing their best to do their best. And each of us adults, still that child, learning, growing, responding. And unique. And wonderful. In Granada, I stayed at the De Boca en Boca Hostel, which was run by a really sweet French couple, Raman and Apolline. We bonded big time over music and Raman took my flash drive and dumped tons of music onto it that I will hear when I get home home. Interesting being in Granada again, 14 years after my love affair with Spanish began in the original Pomegranate. Which is Granada in Spanish. It's a colonial town with a straight line of church after church after church. I stayed "costado" on the Iglesia la Merced. A note about directions in Nicaragua. There are hardly any street signs. So everything is "de esta esquina, dos cuadras, 50 metros a la izquierda" - from this corner, two blocks, 50 meters on the left. That's how mail arrives too, including building color and door type. It's mad and generally impossible for me, even though I am always assured it's incredibly easy! Granada is right on the massive Lake Nicaragua and as such easily accessible to the Atlantic Coast. It's been sacked by pirates and burned to the ground multiple times, including by American imperialist madman William Walker (who was brought in by the Liberal Granadans to battle the conservative Leonans. Eventually Managua was proposed as the capital to displace the feud). I visited the oldest church in Central America, I.e. Oldest Facade and explored the religious history inside the museum. Also I went on an amazing zip line canopy tour. Man, I did a lot of things in Nicaragua huh? It was the surprise country of the trip, so full of great adventures. I was in Managua for the presidential elections. Daniel Ortega and his wife, Rosario, recently appointed Vice President won by about 70%. There are conflicting accounts of whether there was record turn out or very little. Alcohol sales were stopped for 3-4 days. I djayed a friends cousins birthday party for which they had purchased all of the drinks ahead of time. Isla de Ometepe, with 2 massive volcanoes was beautiful, riding around on a scooter for 4 days and swimming in the ocean every day. I didn't end up climbing the volcanoes- it sounds brutal, 8 hours of slippery rock up and down in the sun! Next time. Off to San Juan del Sur where I surfed and made some really amazing friends and danced on the beach into the wee hours. Although I don't want to hear another techno remix of Justin Bieber or Daddy Yankee or Chumbawumba or anyone again in my life. Jumped on a bus down to the border of Costa Rica and off we go... And there you have it more or less. Ok there's lots more. For another day!