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chemicalpink · 2 years

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Oxytocin | Jeon Jungkook (M)

❂ The Secret Garden

⁂ Hosted by Professor Dia through @bangtansorciere

⤐ AU Type/Trope: Summer Nights Dream - Arranged Marriage AU

⤐ Theme: Mutual Pining + Age Gap

⤐ Kink: begging, exhibitionism, clit spanking, blindfolding, delayed orgasm, overstimulation, light bondage, cum play, impreg.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x reader

Genre: smut | fluff | humour | frenemies au | nepo babies au

Word Count: 5.8k

Warnings/Tags: infidelity, grey-ish morals, horny but vanilla-sih, squirting, oral (f. receiving), slight degradation talk, 10 year gap (JK is in mid 30s), lowkey Yoonmin are a thing, lots of bickering, idiots in love tbh.

Rating: 18+

Summary: You don't ever seem to be able to stray too far away from each other. There's no way to backtrack once it's been set in motion, as long as you're both still breathing, you don't even think of leaving. What would people say if they were to listen through the walls?

A/N: Happy JK day I guess. This piece is- something else. Hope you enjoy! See you in a few days with another fic!

Jungkook has proven to be a heavy sleeper, if the way you are able to roam around his whole penthouse was any indicator of that.

There’s barely any light outside the window as you collect your discarded clothing from around his bedroom’s floor, making quick work of getting it on you before looking at yourself in the mirror, deeming yourself presentable enough to catch a ride home. It wasn’t as much of a secret as everyone else would have thought it would be. Both of you got yourselves a privilege like that.

It wasn’t even planned as much as you had regularly wanted your hookups to be– something that had been deeply rooted for by your publicist, something along the lines of keeping the family image. Letting loose wasn’t exactly something people like you get the opportunity to do without risking more than there is to win out of those types of situations, so you refrained from it. But Jeon Jungkook was similar to you in that way, although a few years older than yourself– almost ten, as he is in his mid thirties, he too, had grown up in such an elite family, drowned by rules and responsibilities that limited the way he interacted with those around him. The ability to ruin his reputation with a hookup was as much yours as it was his, something akin to keeping a knife at each other’s throats waiting for a misstep to happen.

It was supposed to be a fun and harmless night out, a bunch of your college friends and yourself going out for drinks and dancing to celebrate all of you getting into your desired Masters’ programmes– you suppose they really had something other than money and power to celebrate for their achievements.

“You don’t look too happy for someone who managed to get into one of the most exclusive business administration internship programmes” Yoongi casually comments as he reclines himself in his seat, throwing whatever was left of his whiskey back. He had always been like that, quietly manoeuvring his way through, loud about his distaste for the system– you couldn’t help but always have a bit of a wall up around him. He smirks a knowing smile at your hesitation, one that you are never sure if it’s mocking you or himself “You don’t have to be so terrified of me you know? I won’t unnecessarily call you a rich asshole, Y/N. We are friends are we not?”

You groan at his remark, feeling like perhaps just for today you could leave all care down the drain, allow yourself that much. Yoongi would never be the type to hurt you after all those years– not with everything you had witnessed him put himself through in your college years, yet the what ifs can’t seem to leave your mind. You take a gulp out of your drink, feeling the alcohol burn your throat “Look at them! They actually have something to celebrate! My dad just made a few calls and now I get to shadow Jeon Jungkook in his company duties for my dissertation. I wouldn’t exactly call that hard work, would you?”

“So perhaps all of us worked harder to get where you are, but whatever work you actually put into it, is all yours, YN” you feel a whine ripped from your throat at that “Y/N, you know, the only reason I’m your friend, over the bunch of other rich kids at our school is because you are actually aware of the privilege you’ve got, and that speaks volumes about you deserving such an opportunity. I can’t even get mad at you for getting it instead of me”

You feel your cheeks get redder at the thought of him trying to get into your programme only to be disposed of it because of a call your dad made. “God- I’ll quit and give to you Yoongi just-”

He dismissed you with his hand “I’ll be around, I got into Kim Namjoon’s programme, couldn’t ask for a better option, have you seen the man?”

You can’t help but laugh “I don’t know what Jimin would have to say about that”

“He would agree with me, now go ahead and leave me be, go dance a well deserved dance with your friends, Y/N”

And you had really intended to do just that at first, at least for the whole thirty seconds walking up to the stage until your eyes caught a much too familiar frame– speak of the devil, Jeon Jungkook. He wasn’t that much of a party-goer, whatever lame excuse you had already heard tumbling from his lips at one of those high end business dinners your dad is constantly dragging you to– some mix of interests and being already too old for it, all while the rest of men lounging out and about laughed politely, greying hairs on their heads as they encourage him to still be young and enjoy life.

“Didn’t think I would see you on such a low budget scene, are Jeon enterprises doing well?” you stand behind the much taller man, drink in hand and you can almost see the roll of his eyes before he even so much as turns around– your interest in the man is no secret to anyone, not even himself as he constantly declines your offers, claiming the ten year gap to be quite a deterrent, having only stopped once his engagement to a foreign heiress closer to his age was made public.

“Miss Y/N, I’ll have you know the business is as prosperous as it could be” he’s holding a drink of his own as he signals for you to follow him to the secluded area he had most likely arrange for himself just down the bar, being quick to take a seat right after you did “If anything, it is you I would be surprised to see here”

You try to shrug it off, not really the one to bring up your rather costly upbringings into what you deem your daily life “I’m a college student after all”

“I heard you got into your desired Masters programme, congratulations on that” there’s something else sparkling in his eyes– a way in. Whether he would blame it on the alcohol later on, let you down slowly for the uptenth time, whatever glimmer in his eyes show up as he sips his whiskey, tailored suit begging to be ripped apart, was nothing but a chance you refuse to let go.

You move yourself closer to where he’s sitting, purposely touching his thighs, rock hard under your touch as you feel him twitch, gaze stoic as usual, one of his large hands finding rest on the small of your back as you lean into him “I’m thinking your place, before any of us put much thought into it”

The man is quick to set up something right there and then from his phone, quickly getting the both of you to your feet, guiding you outside and into an awaiting Mercedes which is pulled up to an all too familiar curb. The walk inside is distinctly Jungkook. Quiet and appeased before the door is slammed closed, hands all over your body, trying to rid the both of you of your clothes.

The tips of his fingers rest on the back of your dress “Can I?”

“Why do you alway gotta be so poised, huh?” you take over his hands, ripping the fabric, exposing your naked body to him before you’re pushing him into the couch, gesturing for him to do the same “We’re going behind your fiancee Jungkook, treat me like the slut I have every right to be treated like''

His lips find yours in the lewdest way possible as you straddle his lap, already glistening folds undoubtedly staining his underwear as you rock yourself against him in need for any type of friction as he grows harder by the second, one of his hands coming to your hips to halt the movement “What is it that you want from me, Y/N”

“Anything” you lean yourself towards him, lips brushing his as your breath fans his mouth and you’re almost sure he could miss the words that tumble from your lips “Everything”

“God Y/N you can’t just go and try to collect all of father’s friends like this, what would your parents say huh?” his hand on your hip has started to redirect your moves against him as he has freed the tip of his cock just enough to let it graze against your folds– barely teasing “I’m ten fucking years older than you are– I am about to be your motherfucking teacher for godsake”

“Oh-Oh god I’ll have you anyway Jungkook, don’t you- ah, don’t you get that?”

One of your hands comes down to rid him of his underwear, you wouldn’t even need to pump him hard as you position your cunt against his cock, letting barely the tip slip inside, both your hands resting atop of his biceps, feeling his heart thumping against your palms– a dream come true. “Even if it means me getting married and having to fuck you at the weirdest times? Huh? After having told Areum I would stay at the office working late? Wouldn’t you just love for me to fuck you while I blatantly lie to my wife?”

“Ah- fuck Jungkook, yeah” you close your eyes in delight at the way that your hips meet his in an unpracticed movement, letting your mind run wild at the way he seems to really have thought all of through “We could- we could always have the new years’ gala for ourselves, business trips, whatever, just fucking- treat me like the whore I’m meant to be– your whore”

“What if an article goes out huh? Your father would ruin me”

His pace picks up and you’re almost left out of breath as you struggle to find the words of whatever thought you try to voice “It’s not like I couldn’t buy off every reporter that could ruin me-us”

“What if Areum were to find us?” You feel him shudder, cock twitching inside you as soon as the words leave his mouth– can’t help but wonder if the thought itself is enough to have him let go inside you.

You open your eyes to look straight back at him, your walls clenching around him at the same time as you feel him starting to paint your walls white, a smile drawn on your face. Checkmate “Oh but isn’t that the best part?”

Monday morning doesn’t seem to come quick enough as classes start once again, not even the breezy morning can seem to scratch the smirk off of your face as you watch Jungkook walk into the lecture building, fitted pants hugging his thighs deliciously, black dress shirt nicely tucked in, hair styled back gently ruffled by the wind– has you wondering just how much greater he would look all fucked out like he did just a few days prior. You can’t help but wonder now that things have settled down and he’s about to be your main tutor– would he fuck you in his office? Leave the door the tadest bit open so anyone could hear, hands all over your body, grading papers long forgotten.

It’s Jimin’s voice the one that takes you back to reality, incredulously sipping his morning tea “I still can’t believe you ate that”

“Oh I didn’t do the eating, that’s for sure”

“TMI Y/N!”

Jungkook’s Master programme basically consisted of a general lecture– which you are grateful to attend next to Yoongi, along with the evening set apart for the internship and research part of it, quite unsure of just how exactly it would mean, although rather stoic and uninterested, the man himself is the one to pull you out of the questioning.

Class had just been wrapped up as Jungkook found himself collecting his materials, head hanging low, barely glancing your way as he spoke “We can take my car to the office, I’ll just need to have you sign the internship contract and you’re good to go for the day”

You hum noncommittally, quickly changing the topic, hoping to catch him off guard “Would you call off your engagement if I asked daddy to drop the lawsuit against your company?”

Jungkook is soon looking at you quizzically, glasses barely slipping down his nose “You can’t just say those things out loud, Y/N” He makes do of going back to organising his papers “What if someone hears? And please don’t call your dad like that”

You stand your ground as you get close to where he’s standing, pressing yourself against the desk “Why? Want to keep the nickname reserved for yourself?”

His eyes glimmer with something akin to want– even if he makes the greatest effort of not looking as affected as you guess he is, even more so as he approaches you even further, lips barely above yours as his fingers keep your chin in place “You’re about to learn how the world moves outside that pretty little head of yours, Y/N”

Day at Jeon Enterprises prove to be much harder than you could possible picture them being beforehand– it was really no secret how Jungkook’s company rivaled your family’s, which would have been expected of him to torture you with work even the slightest, perhaps in terms of personal amusement.

“Hey Jungkook, I can’t seem to reach the supplier for-” Jungkook clears his throat twice, making you raise your gaze to look at the room you had just entered, fully engrossed on the papers you were holding as part of yet another extremely complex task you had taken upon just to prove it to yourself, eyes falling on the one person that could cause you such heartache– Areum, Jungkook’s fiancee. You’re quick to backtrack and try to mend the correct politeness you’re supposed to keep while working “...sir”

Jungkook’s voice is stern as he sits across from his partner, eyes unable to leave your figure as he does so “It’s fine, Y/N, just leave the papers on my desk and I’ll get to them on due time”

You can’t even force a smile to paint on your face as you bow down dismissing yourself from the room, retreating in an effort to not let each and every thought about actions and consequences cloud your mind enough to have you messing up.

“Did daddy’s money buy her a place on your programme?” Areum mentions once the door is closed behind you, a sting to her voice that has Jungkook sighing tiredly “I wonder how many pants she’s gotten into since she got here”

“That’s my student you’re talking about, Areum” his stoic demeanour is enough to bring the comments to a halt, even more so as he raises from where he was previously sitting, back facing her as he goes through the papers on his desk “That would be all then”

The wind picks up as soon as you’re stepping outside the coffeeshop, two containers in hand. You can’t seem to grow accustomed to the brief walk involved in having to come into the office after class hours. The whole debacle seemed uninteresting for the mere twenty minutes it takes to walk from the library to fetch Jungkook’s evening coffee, and into the building. Uninteresting, at least until your phone dings with a message from Jimin as soon as you make it into the elevator. You can’t help the bubbly laugh that escapes your lips as soon as you read the headline to the link your friend had sent. Renowned CEO of Jeon Enterprises, Jeon Jungkook, calls of engagement to heiress Kim Areum via Official Press Release.

It is no news to see Jungkook hunched over his desk, glasses perched on his nose as he annotates whatever newly finished document has been left on his desk– you can’t help but wonder how exactly does the man manages to keep an unresponsive character even through something as grand as his recent breakup, yet you guess you owe to give it the same amount of importance.

You place the freshly brewed cup of coffee in front of him, apart enough from his documents so as to not cause an accident and you can’t help the words slipping from your mouth, the tingling sensation of hope taking over your whole body “Congrats on the newly found bachelorhood” you make your way to stand behind his chair as he turns around to look up at you with veiled amusement in his eyes, the smallest of smirks on his lips “I’m sure you’ll soon make it back to the number one spot on the ‘Most Seeked After Bachelors’ ”

Jungkook fixes his glasses before once again turning his back to you, diving straight back into work “Not that it is any relevant”

You can’t shake the misplaced emotions that the knowledge of Jeon Jungkook being single produces within you– no stranger to the nature of them after the awkward dancing around each other you two had a history of. Can’t even wipe the smile off of your face as lunch break comes around and Yoongi takes a seat beside you in the company’s cafeteria. “Now that you’re technically one of us, and not your rich self, will you be attending the fundraising gala?”

Just as you’re about to answer, Yoongi’s advisor walks up to your table, nodding in acknowledgement “Ms. Y/N, mind if I steal Yoongi for a few minutes?”

You wave your hands in dismissal “Oh- there’s no need- I’m here as an apprentice too, Namjoon-ssi”

Attending the fundraising gala is as much of a chore as anything else pertaining to any company duties is– you guess it most certainly loses its sparkle if you’ve been an attendee most of your life. Press conferences, networking, dull tasting finger food and a dash of old money entering a metaphorical dick measuring contest. For years on end the only excuse to attend such things had been the chance of getting to greet and mingle with Jungkook– although unnecessary now that the nature of your relationship had changed, there’s a certain nostalgia that accompanies the act as you quietly bow to him as soon as you get inside, your father long gone from sight.

“It’s a great way to take advantage of such networking events- standing here in the corner” you point out teasingly at the way Jungkook keeps to himself, nursing a glass of whiskey that is mostly just melting ice by then.

“Eh I was entertaining myself as I waited for someone” there’s a smile on his lips as he places the glass down on a nearby counter, large hand reaching out for yours, caressing the inner part of your arm, lips pressed to your exposed shoulder as he gets himself closer to whisper in your ear “The downstairs bathroom seems appealing enough for today”

Your father’s voice can barely be heard from downstairs near the garden, Jungkook’s presence, lips and cologne all occupying the most of your mind as he makes work of ridding you of enough clothes to gain access to your cunt, two fingers quickly lapping up your wetness and spreading your lips enough to insert themselves, a moan escaping your lips that is cut short by his own “Wouldn’t it be disrespectful to interrupt your father’s speech with the way his very own daughter is begging for dick just a floor below, huh?”

“A-ah Jungkook just move or something” His fingers halt their movement as he pinches your clit, earning a hiss out of you, his eyes shimmering teasingly at the way you keep on clutching tighter to his bicep.

“Oh? What was that? Hands over the counter?” Jungkook barely makes an effort for you to comply, hands resting atop of the marble counter, legs spread as soon as his leg comes in between, cunt raised in the air for his own enjoyment. You can look at yourself in the mirror, feel yourself blush at the image of your exposed body, his figure fully dressed behind you as you rest your head against your arm once he continues his ministrations. You barely register the way he hitches your leg up next to your hand, gaining better access to the way his fingers curl inside you, against your walls as he thrusts his fingers deeper in a faster motion.

“J-Jungkook just- p-please, I need-ah”

“Need what, baby?” he retreats his fingers in favour of his palm brushing against your folds, a breeze of cold air has you shivering for a fraction of a second before he brings his palm forward, slapping your clit twice in the motion, a grunt from him and a whine from you and he’s bringing his hand to spit on it before doing it once again, eliciting the same response from your body, knees threatening to give out “What is it that you need, Y/N?”

“Ah- just please please anything- you” You barely miss the lewd image from the mirror as Jungkook kneels down behind you, lapping up your juices teasingly, not going as far as a teasing kitten lick at your folds before he reclines back, a breath in your voice “I need you, Jungkook, please”

Jungkook buries his face in between your legs, tongue pushing inside you as his deft fingers continue to nip at your clit, esporadically slapping the bud in an effort to work you up harder, movements combined enough to have your juices staining most of his chin, ruining the top part of his tailored suit as he fixes your dress, hoists your leg down and holds you close, completely fucked out as you regain yourself when he plants an open kiss to your mouth, letting you taste yourself on his lips. “God, you’re so beautiful like this”

“I didn’t know you were signing a merger” you try to keep your tone casual as you walk up to your father, club in hand as he stares back at his game– golf had become a family activity for Sundays as soon as you were able to take over some of the company’s assets, serving as the only time you could talk with your dad– or at least as he half listened to you, mind and eyes glued to the ball.

“Well you would know, had you not disappeared in the middle of my speech back at the gala”

You can’t help but feel yourself grow warmer at the memory, clearing your throat and hoping your father has got no idea of the implication of your actions “I just thought you hated the Jeons”

“As much as any other member of our family, sweetheart” Although always rocky, your family and the Jeons’ had always hold a great amount of respect for one another, able to see past petty familial matters and opting to recognise the business abilities that lie within, all the more reason to be certain that rumours were surely spreading out about the merger. Having grown up within such an apparatus, you had become accustomed to how things were supposed to be handled, business first, personal life second. “Jeon Jungkook breaking up his engagement couldn’t have been better timed as we seek for a perfect excuse that won’t cause our investors to grow suspicious”

“I’m not sure I follow, dad”

“Marry that Jungkook kid, Y/N. I know you’ve got a soft spot for him” he is soon moving on to the next spot with a pat to your shoulder, no room for discussion.

You don’t even bother to knock on Jungkook’s private office’s door as you let yourself in, finding him reading over documents as usual. There’s no true rage behind your actions, merely– confusion. Surely Jungkook had already known about it. Had to agree to it beforehand. Fucking around was nice, thrilling, the chase between the two, no use denying that you two shared something. Yet the talks on marriage were on a whole other level of whatever it was that you both had built as months went by.

“So I’m guessing you’ve heard” Jeon Jungkook, poised as ever, barely half an emotion on his face, rids himself of his glasses as he motions for you to take a seat across from him.

“I had no idea a man in his mid thirties could still be roped into an arrangement”

“Marrying someone ten years younger– from a rival company, was most certainly not in the handbooks” he ditches his seat to hold himself near where you are seated, hands resting on his desk as he smiles down teasingly “Yet here we are”

He leans down to hold your chin in between his fingers and you can feel yourself relax at the familiar way his mouth works over yours, the room becoming too stuffed the longer the both of you spend making out, hands working over clothes until they are promptly discarded, his shedded tie taking home around your eyes all the while.

His hands work the wonders you had already been a witness to as you feel a familiar tugging at the bottom of your stomach, only to let out an indignant huff as he removes himself, your orgasm at a grasping distance, taken away from you with a smile on his face; he positions himself on one knee as he slides himself in after pumping himself a few times, slipping a condom on his hardened member, lips locking with yours, reclining against the cushioned expanse of the chair, your legs kicking up and around his torso as you grant him a better access to thrust into you before he is soon dragging you by your hips to straddle him, his mouth nipping at your breasts as one of his hands comes down to nip at your clit alongside the thrusts of his cock, holding your hips in place before– without much effort, he’s hoisting you up against the wall, thighs around him, a moan escaping your throat as he continues to fuck into you– you can’t even find yourself being mad at how yet another orgasm is taken away from you at the movement. You don’t even seem to care the way that most of the blinds are drawn– even if you both are so high up it would be nearly impossible to see, the thought is right there. You can already feel your knees buckling before he’s pressing your back into the floor, ass up as he slides into you once more and you feel like it is too much, thighs trembling, sore clit, even as you feel yourself gushing once again at his ministrations. Jungkook is soon enough collapsing against your back, movement still as he finishes off inside the condom with a few deep thrusts, hands caging you in a futile attempt to keep the both of you from collapsing.

His voice is close to your hair, gentle hands wiping you down even as you can swear you still see stars behind the dark velvety fabric around your head. “Don’t go expecting the work to get easier just because of this, Y/N” he’s helping you up and inside your clothes by the time he presses a kiss on the crown of your head before he retreats to his desk “You’ve got an engagement dinner to attend once you’re done with work for the day”

You struggle to find your voice, the information barely registering “T-tonight?”

“Keep it up, Y/N, I’m supposed to be the old one between the two” there’s something else in the smile he throws your way, his sight never leaving you even as you cross the door to continue your duties for the day.

Jungkook’s penthouse living room was packed with people from the office, along with a few familiar faces both from yours and his extended family, time had seemed to pass at an incredibly fast pace as you get congratulated, handed gifts and kept on getting questioned about a story you have yet to come up with. Not even the top tier champagne flutes have seemed to help ease the unsettling yet giddy feeling in your tummy, feeling especially overwhelmed after Jungkook had delivered your outfit for the day inside a high end luxury brand box at the end of the day in the office, offered you a drive to his home and had gone as far as giving up most of his commodities for you to get ready in record time as he hosted the people that were already making their way to the celebration.

“You know, when Namjoon said we had a company dinner, I most certainly did not expect to hear my best friend was getting married” Yoongi mentions as soon as you approach him, standingly idly beside a particularly costly piece of decorative art.

You take yet another gulp out of your glass “You and me both”

Jimin is soon standing next to him, smile plastered on his face as he holds what you can only guess is his upteenth champagne flute “For someone that is being forced to marry a dude 10 years older, I don’t see you complaining much”

“The sex is great, Jiminie” his face is rapidly contorting into a disgusted feature that has you laughing out loud, a pair of hands coming up to hold you close to a body you have come to recognise as Jungkook’s, you barely turn your head towards him to watch him acknowledge the pair in a silent greeting.

“Mind if I steal her for a second?”

Your hand is on Jungkook’s as he drags you down the hall to a rather familiar room, even as you hear Yoongi calling after you “She’s all yours now!”

It almost feels like a deja-vu, the way Jungkook’s lips are on yours as the both of you stand before his bed. Wandering hands all over both of your bodies, grabbing at all the right and already familiar places, as you separate yourself with a teasing smile on your face “Shouldn’t we wait until our honeymoon?” the mere phrase earns you an incredulous look from the man in front of you “Well- now that I know I’ll be getting one”

Jungkook throws most of his body weight on you to sent you tumbling into the bed, kissing alongside your jaw as he discards your clothes with your help “God I can’t get enough of you, Y/N”

There’s a teasing glint in your eyes as you push your hips into his, asking for more friction “Then don’t”

His lips are on yours in an instant, hands gripping yours as he– ever so carefully, secures them above your head with whatever piece of clothing had just been laying around. The dance is familiar in a way it hadn’t been before even after all this time, somehow even more intimate than it had ever been– even as the smallest fraction of your brain processes the fact that there is still a party going on downstairs, the tell tales of music barely reaching you as Jungkook absolutely ravishes your body, his member hard against you as the tip of his cock keeps on teasing your entrance, barely breaching only to be retreated once more “Ah-God Jungkook just put it in!”

“So desperate for my cock, Y/N” he slaps his member against your clit a few times, enough to have you whimpering, wishing to undo the restraints in your wrists so you could position him and get it on with. He doesn’t seem to be in the more for any more teasing as he starts fucking into you, deep and hard, just the way he mostly does. This time around he doesn’t miss the chance to work himself quickly– you can feel him pulsing against your walls even more so as you clench down on him, earning an almost guttural groan from him as he cums inside, eyes closed, head resting hanging low, a pouty kiss on your lips “Ah- God- I can’t wait to fill you up with our kids”

“Ah- please Jungkook just-” you can’t help the whine that overrides you as some of his cum gushes out, only for him to gather it up and push it back inside with a few languid thrusts.

The woman sitting across from Jungkook's office's coffee table is well put together– nothing that you wouldn’t have already expected for someone like him. She’s got what seems like a million papers inside binders, a practised smile plaster on her face as soon as she sits down. “So, what type of wedding are we thinking about? Summer weddings are-”

Jungkook takes your hand in his, a mischievous smile on his lips “Next week”

“Excuse me?”

The woman’s mouth is barely hanging from a surprisingly veiled expressing as soon as the words leave his mouth, yet Jungkook– much in Jungkook’s fashion, refuses to relent “I’m marrying Y/N next week”

“Mr Jeon, with all due respect, the costs and availability on such short notice-”

“I’m sure you’re aware, money is not an issue”

One week later– not a second earlier or later, you’re standing at the altar, gorgeous white dress on your body, hands in your soon to be husband ones as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear.

“...You may now kiss each other.”

Jungkook’s personal assistant is quiet in the way that she briefly knocks on his office door before announcing herself “Mr Jeon, Y/N’s father is here, per your request”

“Great, let him in”

Jungkook fixes himself a few times too many as your father takes a seat across from him at his desk, the image quite bizarre on its own, even more so as the two CEOs are seen talking in office hours, a feat not ever foreseen.

Your father’s eyebrows shoot up at the request– the matters at hand. “You want to marry Y/N?”

“I’m sure you understand how beneficial such a union would be for the both of us” Jungkook’s infamous poker face slips from a fraction of a second, long enough for your father’s interest to peak at the action as he continues to talk “I’m willing to throw away my three-year long engagement for Y/N”

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haitanic · 3 years

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Poly Relationship With KamiShin

I adore the idea of being in a relationship with these two, I just think it would be so good and I love them both so much. This ended up being way longer than I had planned but I could have kept going so I’ll probably write more like this.

Masterlist

SFW above the cut, NSFW below

SFW

Warnings: swearing, mentions of violence? (the boys being protective of you/defending you)

This relationship would just be one big meme

You and Kaminari clowning together

You and Shinsou laughing at Kaminari’s dumbassery

Until it goes to far and you realize he’s going to hurt himself and you both frantically go “nOooO DeNKi!!!”

Pranks

These two are in a prank war and you are on both teams

So it’s basically just you messing with both of them

They’d pull pranks on you too but it would always be really little silly things, never to the extent they’d do to each other

Neither of these men sleep

Please god make them go to bed

I mean if you’re someone who also stays up all night then oh god this is just a disaster, the three of you will never sleep

If you’re someone who goes to bed at a reasonable time please drag them with you

I don’t think it would be hard to drag them to bed honestly, they’re both way to soft

Like if they were gaming together but you wanted to go to bed, they’d try to say they were going to keep gaming but the second you say please and ask them to come cuddle you the controllers are on the table and they’re crashing into bed with you (simps)

They literally can’t say no to you

With anything, literally anything you want is yours

These men adore you and want to take care of you

Truly just two men that I hc as drinking there respect juice

But it’s more than that, like more than respect, it’s adoration

I think when they get into a relationship with someone the feelings are strong, to share themselves with someone like that they’d have to love and trust them so much

They’d spoil the shit out of you, but you better do the same for them

And when I say spoil I don’t mean spend a bunch of money, just bring them little things and do cute things

Like bring Shinsou coffee and Denki snacks

Give Denki a $1 Pikachu sticker and tell him it reminds you of him

Show your love with memes, they will cry, you’re too perfect

Send Denki silly memes and go “dis u?” he’ll love you so muchand think its so cute

Send Shinsou cute, lovey, cat memes, like meme of a little kitten with a sappy message over it

They’re both definitely very teasing S/Os, like you’d all just be making fun of each other constantly but it’s with LOVE

Consensual bullying

But they’d never comment on something you’re actually insecure about, they know what’s too far and they’d never go there

(If you’re like me and someone who likes to be affectionately teasing with S/Os and friends please make sure you have boundaries established and you know what is ok to tease about and what actually hurts, communication y’all, ok back to your regularly scheduled programming)

I’m gonna be honest, y’all would eat so much takeout, neither of them can cook for shit

actually that’s a lie, Shinsou can cook, he just doesn’t want to

If you can cook and enjoy it please make them meal at least a few times a week

Please teach them healthy habits

Make them go to bed, make them go outside, force feed them veggies and water please just take care of them because they don’t know how to

I mean don’t force them. like please don’t try to change them, but express your concern about their unhealthy habits and try to help if that makes sense

Ok but they are so protective, anyone who tries to mess with you better be prepared to catch hands

They’d both be so goofy with you but if anyone tries to mess with you they are stone faced in a second and ready to rock someone's shit

You are perfect to them and they won’t let anyone say otherwise

Oh and if someone said something about the three of you being together, god help them

Actually don’t, no one help them, they deserve it, not sorry

The cuddles are IMMACULATE

The positions are always changing but it’s always so good

You in the middle either with both of their heads on your chest or facing one and being a little spoon to the other

Shinsou in the middle with both you and Kaminari resting your heads on his chest, you and Kami would be holding hands and you’d all just alternate giving each other little pecks

Kaminari in the middle facing Shinsou with you big spooning him... yes please

You all just want to make sure you’re all happy, it would be so supportive and goofy and just happiness

This relationship feels like sunshine

NSFW BELOW THE CUT. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. 18+.

NSFW

Warnings: dom/sub themes, degradation and praise kinks, sadomasochism and pain kinks, vouryerism, overstim/edging, literally just fucking flithy y’all

Please note that the things I headcannon only apply if it’s something you consent to.

oof

oh god

This is gonna be nasty

But so good

I’ve seen different people say different things but my personal opinion is that Shinsou is a dom (a hard one) and Kaminari is a switch

And yes, Shinsou calls you both his kittens, you cannot change my mind, I don’t care

So there’s a few different ways I see things going

So if both you and Kaminari are feeling like bottoms then Shinsou will gladly dom you both at the same time

Shinsou definitely has a vouyer kink so he would instruct you and Kaminari on what to do to each other while he jut watched his kittens play (stop that felt so filthy to type aaaa)

Once you were both completely worn out then he’d finally step in and have his way with you both

Like I said, he is a hard dom, definitely sadistic

Honestly he’d use telling you and Denki what to do to each other as a punishment, making you overstim or edge each other till neither of you can take anymore and are begging and/or crying

Then he’d come fuck you both into the mattress

This man is going to completely and utterly demolish you (if you’re ok with that of course)

He’d be praising you both but in a way that feels so dirty, he’d degrade you both a bit with words but I think it would mostly be praise, the degrading/humiliating part is what he does to you/makes you do to each other

He’d definitely be pretty rough with both of you (always only if you consent), he’d be manhandling you guys, just throwing you around, pulling hair, choking, a little slapping if you’re up for it (I definitely think Denki is just saying)

But don’t get me wrong, he also knows how to take care of his kittens

Like he can be so soft and giving with you as well, when the situation calls for soft sex this man will give you that and he will give it so good

Just the most gentle, loving praises and soft holds and eye contact and love

Ok, next situation Shinsou and Kaminari both wanting to dom you

ok wait cause there’s actually two ways that could go, if Kaminari is feeling switchy but leaning towards dom then it would be kinda similar to the first situation, with Shinsou telling him what to do to you but he’d just be more dom with it himself and he’d still let Shinsou dom him a bit but not full on, like they’re both domming you but Shinsou takes the lead

Ok but if Kaminari is feeling full dom then god help you

I hope you have the day of tomorrow

Because Kaminari as a dom is also one sadistic mother fucker

I absolutely headcannon Kaminari as being hard and sadistic when he’s domming (I mean he’s a little fucking masochist when hes a bottom)

But yeah if it’s something you’re ok with then these men are going to destroy you

I really can’t stress how ruthless they are when they’re domming together

You’re going to get whiplash from these two because one of them is degrading the shit out of you while the other is telling you the kindest praise

“Look at you, such a filthy little whore for us to use”, “You’re so beautiful, doing so good for us baby”

But you never know which ones going to say what and they’re constantly switching roles

Yeah you’re about to get your shit rocked, there’s no other way to say it

Honestly you’re going to be barely conscious by the time they’re finally done

Alright, last variation is you and Shinsou domming Kaminari

Pretty similar to when he’s domming you with Kaminari but y’all switch places

Just demolishing little subby baby Denki

I talk about how much of a little subby baby he is in my nsfw hcs for him

As much of a sadist as he is when he’s domming completely switches to masochism when he’s a sub

He will cry and beg and he loves it, he will literally beg you two to hurt him like a whiny little boy

Baby just wants to be completely destroyed and fucked out

Gee, can you tell I’m a switch

Regardless of how it goes down the sex would honestly be so good because both of them are very giving partners

I mean don’t get me wrong, they’re gonna tease the shit out of you, but they’re both very focused on making sure all three of you feel amazing

The aftercare, oh god the aftercare

Always so cute and sweet

Doesn’t matter who topped and bottomed

Cuddles and words of affirmation for all of you, just all three of you giving and getting love

If any of you are in subspace or roughed up or out of it or whatever then whoever isn’t will give you everything you need whether that's a hot drink or a nice bath or some lotion or whatever

You all just take such good care of each other because this is a relationship built on mutual love, adoration, and respect

This got a little out of hand, much longer than I thought it was going to be, my bad.

#shinkami #kamishin #shinsou x reader x kaminari #shinsou smut #shinsou hcs #shinsou imagine #kaminari smut #kaminari hcs #kaminari imagine #poly bnha #bnha hcs #bnha smut

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feanorianethicsdepartment · 3 years

Text

more of tauriel’s hellfamily adventures! there’s still a couple of gaps in my conception of this au, which is why these are bullet points and not an actual fic, but i think i’ve got enough to progress the plot, such as it is. certainly got a bunch of anecdotes i think are funny

i’m not even going to bother explaining how tauriel ended up in one of the fëanorians’ boltholes being treated for mild injuries

nothing super serious, but enough that she’s out of action for the rest of the night. the palace is on fire

the bolthole opens, and celegorm (who’s doing first aid) turns his head. his preemptive scowl melts away instantly. ‘hi elrond!’

the former lord of imladris just sighs. ‘please tell me you idiots haven’t abducted tauriel’

legolas has concerns, apparently. he saw celegorm vanish into an alleyway with her slung over his shoulder and immediately started panicking

‘i've talked him into delaying his rescue mission until i had the chance to check that she was safe’ elrond finishes, sounding absolutely exhausted

tauriel confirms that she is doing fine, as much as she can through the concussion. celegorm’s like ‘if he’s so worried about her why doesn’t he just come up here’

elrond disappears, and a few minutes later legolas scrambles inside

he’s glaring at celegorm. celegorm tells him where the first aid kit is, punches him on the arm, compliments his tracking skills in a vaguely threatening manner, and jumps back out to assist with the chaos

legolas collapses by tauriel’s bedside, still clutching his bow. tauriel pats him on the thigh reassuringly

neither of them are surprised elrond knows the fëanorians - they stayed in his place in tol eressëa for a while, dude knows literally everyone - but they don’t really know why

closer to dawn, elrond’s voice drifts up into the hideout. he’s going on this long irritated rant that climaxes in an extremely exasperated ‘valardamnit dad!’

maglor cackles. tauriel’s like ‘huh didn’t know that.’ legolas makes a face like he accidentally swallowed a spider

by this point, tauriel’s known the brothers hellspawn for long enough legolas has been unnervingly close to a kinslayer way more times than he’d like

this is the longest he’s spent in proximity to them by far, but it’s not the only time he’s interacted with them. they seem to like tauriel, and he knows she can take care of herself

but like still

it keeps happening, though. as tauriel further ingratiates herself with these awful awful elves, her two separate social circles keep bleeding into each other

take the time legolas and co visited the aulendili

before they left middle-earth, gimli whipped round every dwarf they knew and assembled several volumes of complaints. they refuse to confirm or deny whether aulë is the maker, but they are determined someone’s gonna hear their grievances

and thus a small wagon train of wood elves head up into the mountains. including tauriel

tauriel offhandedly mentioned the upcoming trip to the twins, and amras was like ‘hey we’ve got family up there!’ a few messages went up and down the funicular, and now gimli and crew have a place to crash up there

they’re put up by some of the fëanorians’ less murderous (if equally loud) relatives. it’s a pretty interesting trip

half the town is redheads. several people still mistake tauriel for a fëanorian. it’s been happening a lot in the wider noldorin territory lately, it’s weird

caranthir stumbles up into town about halfway through their visit. he gets into an extremely long philosophical argument with gimli that somehow ends with a mutual dwarven nod of respect

he also ends up fighting back-to-back with tauriel in one of those debatebrawls so common among the noldor. neither of them is quite sure how it happens

that’s the way it goes, isn’t it. there’s no big official moment when tauriel becomes part of the family

she just grows closer to them over her time in valinor, as they do to her

she merges into their social world. she develops a rapport with maglor’s wife - a first age mountain sinda and a third age forest avar don’t have that much in common, but they are both looking at noldorin culture from the outside. they have so many injokes about ridiculous bling

(it goes the other way too. this childhood friend oc of hers i’m developing - pretty sweet guy, the token sane man in the legolas-tauriel-him trinity - gets along really well with celebrimbor)

this one time tauriel punches a guy out for calling elrond a traitor. it doesn’t matter that he’s like three times her age, he is babey

she gets chewed out by maedhros and tests out new devices for curufin and drops in on nerdanel for tea. even though she doesn’t permanently live in the definitely-not-fëanorian quarter, she has her own personal space in its innermost warren

she’s one of them long before anyone consciously realises it

what causes that realisation is, admittedly, partially the conspiracy theories. if you say something often enough, you’ll start to believe it, and while the tauriel origin stories circulating through the noldorin rumour mill vary a lot in the details they all agree she is a fëanorian

but that’s a gradual long-term thing. it’s one more thread that leads to the moment

because there has to be an inflection point, i think. the fëanorians have plenty of family friends within the ranks of their definitely-not-minions. some are even as close to them as tauriel’s become

something has to happen to show she’s something more. fortunately, as demonstrated by the darkening and the númenorian invasion, no matter how peaceful it seems, history never stops

shit goes down. the exact details i’ll admit i don’t know yet, but at some point some sort of massive crisis rocks all of valinor. it’s during that crisis that tauriel does stuff that makes it blindingly obvious she’s not just on her side, but one of them

what stuff? again, i don’t know yet. i have this mental image of her leading a strike team that’s half definitely-not-minions and half legolas’ people through a burning city to do... something badass, but that’s as specific as i can get atm

what i am certain about, is that throughout the unfolding of the crisis, tauriel is permanently on the fëanorians’ side, just like they’re on hers

it’s one thing to be someone’s friend in bright happy days. it’s another thing to stick by them when everything’s falling to pieces and the whole world is against them. it’s in the depths of this crisis that both parties have the chance to fully prove their worth to each other

that probably wouldn’t be enough on its own, but combined with the friendship and the conspiracy theories and just the general way she is, once the dust settles it’s blazingly clear that tauriel is a daughter of the house of fëanor

there’s a little debate about where exactly she fits on the family tree, but not much. our sample size is admittedly small, but third generation fëanorians tend to have the slightest modicum of common sense? elrond and celebrimbor both have a fair degree of self-awareness and at least a few brain cells

tauriel does not. tauriel is mad, bad, and dangerous to know, just smart enough to understand that her sheer chaoticness is something she can channel but not nearly close to regularly thinking through the consequences of her actions. she’s loud and violent and does whatever she wants whenever she wants without a single thought towards what people will think of her

and more than that, she doesn’t relate to the second generation fëanorians the way the third generation does. she’s their friend and partner-in-crime, not one of their precious perfect must-protect children. she gets jerked around and bullied and does all that stuff right back, and while she doesn’t have a solid place in the second generation’s internal hierarchy yet she would easily slot in

no, tauriel’s a second generation fëanorian, one of fëanor and nerdanel’s horrible children. the fact that fëanor is currently indisposed and unable to provide an opinion on the matter doesn’t seem to bother anyone

she gets inducted into the family in a massive group hug, and from then on out the brothers hellspawn are the siblings hellspawn

her new family doesn’t replace her old one, of course, she has a long talk with elrond wherein she hashes this out. she’s still a silvan of the greenwood

she’s just also the little sister of the most bloodthirsty elves in history

(that sound in the background is legolas screaming)

#silmarillion #tauriel #feanorians #house of feanor #the feanorian tauriel saga #my terrible fic #this is late because i needed to sleep last night #extremely panicky background legolas #the worst part is he can't even deny it #current plan is looking like one more main entry and a couple of errata #there's a scene i don't think i'll be able to fit in and a little minific about why tauriel doesn't believe in maedhros

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amphii-writes · 3 years

Text

Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have

these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh

warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing

Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t

Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know

Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)

Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”

Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!

Aone likes to bake

Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing

daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON

Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry

Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid

Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together

Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage

Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact

Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it

Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane

Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions

Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year

Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown

Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him

Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team

Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out

Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid

Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary

Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on

Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady

There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke

Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible

Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.

80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord

Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)

Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry

Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.

Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him

During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more

mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’

Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why

mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around

For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit

Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto

Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”

Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween

Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion

Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody

Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can

Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid

Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold

Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)

Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting

Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t

KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU

Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.

Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))

Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month

TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID

atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)

tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won

i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.

Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit

Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious

tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them

Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though

Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit

kita knits and crochets with his grandma

Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran

Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn

kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up

Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks

akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice

Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again

Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.

Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know

Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming

Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"

Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off

Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord

Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym

suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest

The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother

Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|

Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray

tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it

Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said

the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"

oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid

yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together

Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"

tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him

Tsukishima had a my little pony phase

you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day

i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true

Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team

Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)

dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi

i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone

ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED

IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared"

OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now"

Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh?

DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"

#haikyuu #hq #haikyuu!!#haikyuu crack #haikyuu boys #haikyuu x reader #haikyū!!#haikyu x reader

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mermaidcashton · 4 years

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dance in the living room, love with an attitude

authors: claire (@mermaidcashton) & laura (@maluminspace) ship/AU: michael clifford/ashton irwin, roommates AU prompt: “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I almost never do.” wordcount: 10k+ warnings: swearing, implied & explicit sexual content a/n: • written for @maluminspace & @h0tsos ‘s 5sos fic writers collab (in which we all chose from a list of AU’s and had the above prompt quote to include - check out the masterlist linked to see everyone elses!) • i do not give permission for this (or any of my writing) to be reposted, by anyone, on this or any other website. please don’t do it! • title from ‘only human’ by the jonas brothers dance in the living room, love with an attitude *** The music was probably turned up a little too loud, but it helped to drown out the nerves starting to bubble away in Michael’s tummy. ‘I hope ‘Ashton’ likes MCR’ he thought as he half-heartedly wiped down the kitchen counters with a damp cloth. He wanted the place to look mildly tidier than it usually did for his new flatmate. First impressions counted for a lot, as his mum had told him twice this week already.

Once the splashes of milk from this morning’s mishap with the cereal had been washed away along with the crumbs from last night’s dinner of peanut butter on toast, he stole a quick glance at the clock on the wall over in the living room area. It wasn’t quite midday, which meant he had a little over an hour until his new roommate was due to arrive. That should mean that he just about had enough time to vacuum the whole flat and take a shower. Throwing the dishcloth into the little cleaning basket on the window ledge, Michael focused on screaming the lyrics to ‘Thank you for Venom’ and tried not to focus too much on the anxiety about the rest of the day.

Agreeing to live with someone he’d never met in person probably wasn’t the smartest of ideas. It’s not like Michael had been given much choice, though. His last flatmate had given him less than a week’s notice when she decided to move in with her short-term girlfriend and left Michael with a whole bunch of bills that his meagre paycheck could never stretch far enough to cover. Luckily, his best friend Luke had a work colleague who desperately needed a new place to live since his landlord had slapped him with a very short notice period to move out of his current flat. Luke had offered to give this work friend Michael’s contact details and the following morning, Michael had woken up to a text from a guy called Ashton who was very interested in Michael’s recently vacant spare room.

After explaining the cost of rent and other bills in a few subsequent texts, Michael had received a very grateful reply from Ashton asking if it would be possible to move in that weekend. Of course the blonde had agreed, eager to get the awkward first meeting out of the way as soon as possible.

Determined to get his most hated chore done before he could start collecting his thoughts and mentally preparing for the arrival of his new flatmate, Michael grabbed the portable hoover from the charging port on the tiny bit of the kitchen wall that was not taken up by the counters and cabinets. He was just about to press the ‘ON’ button when a knock at the door put an abrupt halt to his plans.

Michael huffed as he made his way over to the front door. The only people that had the security code for the entrance of the building were his parents and Luke, neither of which were due to visit today. That left only someone who had the wrong flat, or one other possible visitor; his neighbour, Calum. They’d hang out sometimes, whenever their days off matched up. Their shared interest in certain obscure and rare computer games and a mutual love of sushi and beer made for hours of fun without the chore of actually having to leave the building. Michael had definitely made sure to let Calum know that he was expecting his new flatmate to arrive today, though, so he was a little confused as to why his neighbour would be dropping by now.

That feeling only intensified when a glance through the spy hole on his front door revealed that Calum was accompanied by a stranger. He opened the door cautiously, still feeling a little bewildered.

“Hey, mate.” Calum grinned, waving a handful of unopened letters in greeting. “Just found this guy outside with a bunch of boxes. I knew you were expecting your new flatmate today, so I helped bring his stuff up.” His dark brown eyes surveyed Michael with something like confusion from beneath the rim of his seemingly ever-present black bucket hat.

Michael could only imagine that his neighbour was mirroring his own befuddled expression because Ashton wasn’t due to arrive for another hour. He forced himself to look over at the stranger, whilst his mind worked over what was happening.

It appeared that Calum was right in assuming this was Ashton. He was indeed carrying a large cardboard box labelled ‘bedroom’ that would definitely suggest he was moving house. There were also a bunch of smaller boxes piled against the wall beside the front door which supported that assumption.

“Do you guys need any more help?” Calum offered, “I’m free if…”

“Nah, it’s fine.” Michael cut in quickly. “We can take it from here, thanks Cal.” The last thing Michael wanted was more people to see the apartment in its current state.

“No worries.” Calum smiled, “You know where I am if you change your mind.” He turned his attention to his little fluffy dog who had been patiently waiting for his post-walk nap. “C’mon Duke.”

Once Calum and his little fluff ball had wandered off across the hall towards their own apartment, Michael turned his attention back to Ashton. Three things struck him about his new flatmate in very quick succession;

Ashton was incredibly hot. His curly black hair hung loosely around his handsome face, framing his chiselled cheekbones and clean shaven, angular jaw beautifully. His hazel eyes were striking from behind the horn-rimmed glasses perched neatly on his perfectly ski-slope shaped nose.

He looked vaguely familiar. Michael knew that he’d seen Ashton’s face somewhere before but it wouldn’t quite click in his brain. Not that it would be entirely surprising if they’d met before, they did share a close friend after-all. It just seemed a little off that Luke hadn’t reminded Michael of the occasion they'd met at before suggesting they live together.

Despite his silence, Ashton looked somewhat annoyed, possibly bordering on angry. That struck Michael as odd. He had been known to piss people off fairly regularly but seeing as he’d barely even spoken to Ashton, this would be an all time record.

“So you must be Ashton…” Michael smiled, awkwardly tucking a strand of his messy blonde hair behind his ear whilst offering his free hand out for his new flatmate to shake. “I’m Michael, or you can call me Mike if you want. Most of my friends do.” Ashton didn’t accept the offer of a handshake, in fact he made no movement whatsoever. He simply glared at Michael with an increasing level of irritation. “Are you kidding me?”

Michael knew that he was not the prettiest of people. He dressed casually most of the time and due to Ashton’s early appearance, he’d not yet had a chance to shower and make himself a little more presentable. He didn’t think that he quite deserved such a cutting greeting, though. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you yet, I was just…”

“You don’t even remember me, do you?!” Ashton interrupted, his tone dripping of resentment now. “Fucking unbelievable!” Michael couldn’t remember ever feeling more confused in his life. Ashton hadn’t mentioned that they’d previously met in his text messages so why would he be so angry that Michael hadn’t immediately recognised him now?

The newcomer’s harsh tone had caught Calum’s attention, causing the neighbour to pause in sorting through his mail and stare unashamedly at the scene unfolding across the hall.

“This could only fucking happen to me…” Ashton huffed, adjusting his grip on the box in his arms. “I get turfed out of my flat because my landlord suddenly decides he wants it for his daughter and just when I think I’ve landed on my feet with a new place, my new fucking flatmate turns out to be a one night stand who doesn’t even remember me! Talk about kicking a guy when he’s down!”

Michael barely registered Calum’s audible gasp as realisation crashed around him. Suddenly the memory of the beautiful man that had swept Michael off his feet at a bar a few months back replayed in his head like a movie he’d seen once but hadn’t been able to remember the title of. He’d only known the guy as Ash and he’d assumed it was short for Ashley. Despite the fact that Ash’s hair had been a sexy shade of crimson, styled in a neat quiff and he hadn’t been wearing glasses, it was definitely the same guy that was standing in front of him right now.

“Ash…” the word escaped Michael almost of it’s own volition. “But I thought that was short for… oh my god, this can’t be happening.” He cupped his own face in his hands as the reality of the awkward situation began to settle into the very fibre of his being.

“Wow, you can’t make this shit up.” Calum gasped, an almost delighted smile on his face. “What’re you guys gonna do?”

Despite Calum’s annoying rubbernecking, it gave Michael the perfect excuse to look away from Ashton for a second. “Well I’m gonna throw something at you, if you don’t get lost right now, Calum.” He hissed.

“He’s not the one coming across like a shithead right now.” Ashton scoffed, setting the box in his arms onto the floor. “Being a nosey neighbour still makes you a hell of a better person than the guy that flatters their way into your bed and gives you amazing sex but then gives you a fake number!”

“That’s right.” Calum agreed. “People that do that are the worst. At least have the balls to tell the other person you’re not looking for anything long term before you disappear the next day.”

“Calum, I swear to god…” Michael hissed.

Ashton shook his head angrily. “He’s right, if you never wanted to see me again, you could have just said. I wouldn’t have wasted some of my best moves on you.”

“Oh, what were the moves?” Calum smirked, prying his way further into the conversation.

His neighbour’s blatant disregard for the seriousness of the situation was annoying to say the least. It was also the last thing Michael needed to deal with right now. “Piss off, Calum!”, he snapped.

Duke yapped disapprovingly at Michael, his tiny eyes focused on the blonde man as his human’s smirk grew even further across his face.

“Oh, you can shut up as well!” Michael snapped at the tiny pooch. “Now you’re yelling at a dog.” Ashton rolled his eyes. “Maybe it’s a good thing you blew me off, looks like I had a lucky escape from dating an arsehole!” Michael really couldn’t envisage the situation getting any worse. At this rate he was going to be searching for another roommate instead of enjoying a pleasant lunch with this one, like he’d hoped.

“I didn’t give you a fake number!” Michael protested. “I swear, I’m not like that, and I really liked you! I broke my phone, the same weekend we...met.” He felt his cheeks begin to colour, trying his hardest to ignore Calum’s snort as he focused on Ashton’s disbelieving face.

“It took me two weeks to sort out a new one, I had a little pay as you go in between, I had a different number, and I-you did call, then?” Michael paused his blurted explanations to blurt out a question, instead. He had been wondering every time it was late and he was alone for 6 months whether or not he’d missed a call from the best one night stand of his life.

“Of course I did!” Ashton threw his hands up in exasperation, startling Duke and sending him scuttling back into the still-open doorway of the opposite flat. “I thought we had a connection, we said we wanted to see each other again; that doesn’t happen that often for me! Maybe it does for you…”

“Oh, it definitely doesn’t.” Calum smirked. “The only man who comes to see Michael regularly is the Domino’s delivery guy.”

Before Michael could blow up at him, Calum backed up properly into his flat, resting his hand on his front door. “It’s a shame, actually,” he continued, smiling encouragingly at his neighbour. “Michael is really a great guy. He always has time for me and Duke; whether it’s for beers, a listening ear, or belly rubs.”

He throws a wink to Ashton as he shuts his front door with a click. “I’ll leave you to figure out which one is for me. Welcome to the building!”

Michael knows he needs to gain control of the slightly-stunned silence left in Calum’s wake, fast. He needs to say something apologetic, or charming, or cool. “Do you like fish fingers?” Or that.

Ashton blinked a few times in quick succession, and Michael wanted to throw himself down the stairs.

“Do I like fish fingers?” Ashton repeated, pushing his long black hair back with both hands.

Michael flushed again, at least thankful for the fact that he no longer had an audience for the most embarrassing encounter of his life. “It’s just, I thought we could have lunch, and talk, and I’m not really much of a cook, but I have fish fingers, right, and everyone likes fish finger sandwiches...don’t they…” He trailed off, hoping Luke perhaps had another co-worker who needed immediate accommodation.

Ashton fixed him with the most intense stare he’d ever received in a conversation about freezer food, and Michael tried to match his unrelenting gaze in a way that would make him look less like he wanted to cry. Ashton’s eyes really were beautiful, seeming almost magnified by his glasses. He looked thoughtful and sad now, rather than judgmental and angry, and Michael would take that.

“I do.” Ashton decided on, after what felt like an eternity. He stooped down to pick up his box again, muscles tensing, and Michael’s mind began to wander.

He remembered Ashton’s arms looking just like that as he lifted him up for the last few feet of the journey to the redhead-at-the-time’s bed. Michael could almost feel his fingers digging into the bare skin of his thighs all over again. The memories of slow, wet, considered neck kisses being broken with teeth, and the delicious burn that started low and spread like wildfire as Ashton stretched him out like he was born to do it.

“Michael? After you?” Michael snapped out of his daze, dragging his eyes away from Ashton’s lips where they had landed at some point in his reminiscing. He stepped back so Ashton could enter the flat and set the box down by the sofa. “Yeah, great, come in, make yourself at home, I’ll get the rest of your boxes!” As soon as he was outside in the corridor, Michael let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. ‘Okay, Clifford - you need to snap out of it. Relax and smooth things over so you two can live together.’ He told himself, as sternly as he could manage. ‘We need a roommate more than we need to get laid.’

‘That’s debatable.’ Another voice - which sounded more like Calum than himself - chimed in before Michael shook it off and picked up the stack of cardboard boxes cluttering up the corridor.

‘Okay, you can do this. Damage control. Just be normal. Go in and face this head on. You can do this.’ Michael murmured, running his tongue over his bitten lips as he took his first steps back to where Ashton was waiting.

He hip-checked the front door closed as he re-entered the flat, placing the boxes next to one Ashton had carried in, before straightening up to see Ashton sat on the sofa, looking both nervous and delicious.

“I…” Michael faltered under Ashton’s almost shy gaze, then caught sight of a slice of Ashton’s firm, hairy stomach from where his t-shirt was riding up slightly.

“I just need to go to the bathroom. Then we can...talk, and eat. Okay?” Michael forced what he hoped was a casual, winning smile, and then scuttled across to the bathroom the moment Ashton made a noise of agreement and nodded his head.

Michael clicked the lock shut and put the toilet lid down as he pulled his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants. He began tapping away with urgency as he took a seat on the toilet, pulling up his message thread with his best friend.

SOS!!!! 🚨

Luke!!!!

Where are you

LUKE FUCK HELP ME YOU DICK

With each message he sent, Michael could feel his panic beginning to swell back up in his chest. Finally, three dots began moving across the message to indicate Luke was writing. Help was on the way.

🥺🥺🥺 What’s up

Michael felt what he knew was an unjustified rage at Luke and his fucking emojis as he furiously typed a reply.

Oh nothing, I just had sex with my new roomate!!!

Michael jumped when his phone immediately started vibrating relentlessly, sliding his finger across the screen and holding it gingerly to his ear.

“Hello?” He whispered into the receiver.

“WHAT!!! What do you mean you’ve slept with him?! Ashton was due there at 12, and it’s now...12 minutes past 12! That’s INSANE, even for you! I cannot believe-”

“Luke!” Michael hissed through clenched teeth, turning on the cold tap on the sink before he spoke again. “Not today, idiot! Remember, months ago, when I broke my phone? That weekend, I hooked up with that guy I met at The Alchemist? Red hair, big arms, amazing mouth-”

“Yes, I remember! What’s that got to do with it?” Luke cut in.

“It was Ashton. I only knew him as Ash, remember? And obviously I never saw him again because I had no way to contact him after I broke my phone. But it’s him, Luke - he’s in my living room! In OUR living room! What am I gonna do?! I am freaking out!”

“Oh my God! You’ve really outdone yourself this time, Mike! You’ve had your new roommates dick in your mouth before he even moved in! Classic you.”

Michael could practically hear Luke’s eyeroll. “This is not classic me! Dick! Help me, Luke!”

“What do you want me to do, I can’t unfuck him for you!” Luke shot back. Michael let out an involuntary whimper and slumped further down on the toilet. He was so screwed.

***

Michael emerged from the bathroom, Luke’s advice ringing in his ears as he approached Ashton on the sofa. ‘He’s a really nice guy, Mike; just talk to him. Explain what happened after you hooked up, and say you hope you can put it behind you and be friends. I think he’ll be cool, honestly. Just try not to trip and land on his dick and you should be golden.’

He took one last deep breath as he sat down on the black leather beside his one-time lover.

“So, Ashton...I...listen, I’m sorry that I broke my phone and made you think I’d ghosted you. I’m just an idiot that dropped his phone outside Sainsbury’s. And I’m really sorry I didn’t recognise you straight away, I was just expecting someone I hadn’t, and your hair, and glasses, and-” Michael could feel himself starting to babble but he couldn’t stop himself; he was so desperate for Ashton to like him. He was trying not to think about why it was this important to him.

Ashton held his hand up to stop him with a small smile. “Michael, it’s okay.”

Michael stopped short in his unravelling with a look of surprise. “It is?”

Ashton’s smile grew wider. “Yeah. I was just a bit blindsided, and I was hurt at the time back then, you know? But you explained, you apologised, and you seem like a nice guy. Luke sure can’t talk you up enough, and I trust him. I have no reason not to believe this is gonna be all good.”

Michael blinked, unsure if this was too good to be true. “Yeah? So...we’re good? You’re gonna...stay?”

Ashton relaxed back into his seat, toeing his shoes off and under the coffee table. “If that’s okay with you, yeah. We’re both grown ups; we can keep it platonic and put the past behind us, right? Friends?”

Michael nodded, trying to hide the gulp in his throat. “Yeah, of course. Right. Great. Friends.” He could definitely do this.

***

He could definitely not do this.

It’d been a long one month, two weeks and three days of trying to convince himself that he didn’t want to be anything more than Ashton’s friend and roommate.

Some days, Michael thought it was possible to put those lingering feelings away and focus on their blossoming platonic relationship. After all, Ashton was everything most people could ever want in a flatmate. He was tidy, considerate, fairly quiet and respectful of personal boundaries. The slightly older man was also great company. Michael has had many pleasant conversations with him over breakfast and in the evenings before they went to bed.

As lovely as all of that was, Michael had started questioning if it was worth the growing ache in chest for more. Each new thing he learnt about Ashton made him more sure that he was probably the closest thing to the perfect man that Michael would ever know. It was a cruel twist of fate that had meant his one opportunity to have Ashton for himself had slipped through his fingers, quite literally. He cursed himself on a daily basis for that one clumsy moment when he’d fumbled pulling his old phone from his too-tight jeans outside the supermarket and had been forced to watch his only chance with Ashton sink into a muddy puddle.

Whatever higher powers existed had been even less kind to have that strong, gorgeous, well-hung man turn up on Michael’s doorstep months later, as his only hope of being able to keep the flat he’d grown to love.

Every day since then, seemed to have presented a new challenge or torture. First it was the tight t-shirts and vests Ashton wore more often than not. They accentuated every muscle of the raven-haired man’s torso and displayed his strong biceps in all their glory.

Then came the sleepy morning routine they’d subconsciously fallen into. Ashton would emerge from his room in nothing but his loose grey sweats and crooked glasses, his hair ruffled and his eyes heavily lidded, before joining Michael for a hasty breakfast which usually consisted of cereal or toast and mug of strong coffee. It was during these sluggish mornings when they’d started to bond over their mutual love of crime dramas and fantasy movies, among other things. That had naturally led to evening-long Criminal Minds marathons whole weekends debating whether the Lord of the Rings movies or the Harry Potter movies were the better adaptations of their original books. Those playful arguments had spilled over into text messages now, so Michael couldn’t even escape his torturous living situation when he went to work.

Despite all of that hardship, the most latest and arguably the toughest challenge Michael found himself facing, was Ashton’s morning yoga. At first, the older man had kept that part of his morning routine confined to his bedroom. For some reason or another, over the last week or so, Ashton had decided that the living area was a more suitable location for this activity.

If Michael thought that sleepy, shirtless morning Ashton was hot, then sleepy, shirtless morning Ashton doing the ‘downward dog’ was positively off the fucking scale. The way his large hands pressed into the yoga mat and the way his strong arms and legs tensed as he straightened his back and pushed his arse up into the air lingered in Michael’s mind all day. These images often flickered through his mind at night too, when he was alone in his bed with nothing but his hand for company.

Deciding that a little get together with some friends would help dispel some of the tension, Michael floats the idea of asking Calum and Luke over for a ‘lads night’. Ashton had agreed easily, being a generally social person, he’d seemed enthusiastic about the possibility of hosting a mini party.

A group message is created and it doesn’t take long to settle on the following Friday night for beer, snacks and a FIFA tournament.

Ashton seemed to have been looking forward to it, often mentioning how excited he was to get to know Calum better and asking Michael to help him decide between certain snacks to purchase for the occasion.

All in all, Michael was proud of himself for the idea, focusing on hosting a couple of friends had certainly given both him and Ashton something new to focus on.

It was only when Friday arrived that Michael started to doubt his plan. Watching Ashton arrange plates of snacks on the kitchen counter, with the cutest concentration face he’d ever seen, started to make Michael wish they were spending the evening alone instead. He quickly pushes the thought of his head, berating himself for thinking something so stupid. It’s not like anything could happen between them even if they were alone, they were roommates now, that’s where their relationship ends.

“So....” Ashton broke the silence enveloping the flat as he finished pouring a bag of cheesy Doritos into a bowl. “Did you finally solve the mystery of who was stealing people’s shit from your fridge at work?”

Michael was caught off guard by the question. He’d been watching Ashton so intently that he momentarily forgot about everything else. It took him a moment to remember that he’d been keeping Ashton up to date with the ongoing lunch burglar drama at the DIY store he worked at. “Oh, umm no, not yet! But Brenda finally told Linda to stick her fake friendship where the sun doesn’t shine.”

A genuinely delighted smile burst into Ashton’s face as he headed into the living room area. “Good for her! Linda sounds like a bitch…”

It really meant a lot to Michael that Ashton took such an interest in his work life. The fact that he cared so much about people he didn’t know, but was aware they meant a lot to Michael, was also heartwarming.

Before Michael could go into more detail about the break time drama, a knock at the front door interrupted him. “Oh yay! Our first guest!” Ashton beamed, jogging off towards the front door to greet Calum.

***

As soon as the beer and wine had started flowing, Michael’s ever-present pining for Ashton dulled to an almost non existent haze at the edges of his mind. Sure, his knees felt weak every time Ashton flashes him that dopey smile of his and he might have blushed whenever their knees touched as they competed against each other in a thrilling game of virtual soccer.

That was all better than his usual all-consuming lust, so Michael was somewhat proud of himself. He even managed to surprise the urge to let Ashton win their game, and was almost smug when his player sent the football flying past Ashton’s keeper to secure a 2-1 win.

“Motherfucker!” Ashton grumbled, throwing his control pad into the sofa as he fixed Michael with look that was almost definitely the hottest gaze he’d ever been caught under. “I’m gonna get you for that, Clifford.” It sounded like a promise that held more weight than the simple challenge to a rematch it was probably meant to be.

Michael had to fight back a whimper, staring into Ashton’s beautiful hazel eyes this closely was too much. The intensity of it all rendered him momentarily speechless and he was all-too glad when Ashton got to his feet and headed for the kitchen.

“I need to drown my sorrows.” The black-haired man laughed, breaking the tension that had descended on them before heading off to the kitchen. Ignoring the knowing looks from his two friends, Michael picked up Ashton’s discarded controller and tossed it to Luke. “Your turn to face me, Hemmings. Let’s see if I can beat my all time record of beating you 6-1”

“Fuck off! You have never beat me that badly.” Luke huffed, picking up the control pad that had just landed in his lap. “I’m gonna enjoy kicking your ass in front of your new boy-“

“Shit, we’re out of beers already!” Ashton’s interruption came at exactly the right moment in Michael’s opinion. He really hadn’t wanted Luke to finish that sentence and now he wouldn’t get the chance.

“I’ll go to the shop for some more, does anyone have specific requests?” The eldest friend asked as he traipsed back into the living room area.

“Oh you don’t have to go!” Michael shrugged, “you should stay here, we’ll send Luke instead, he sucks at this game anyway.”

Luke scoffed, waving his hand defensively. “You’re not getting out of playing me that easily!”

Ashton laughed, his eyes sparkling as he checked that his wallet was still in his jeans pocket. “It’s fine. I’m already out of the competition and I wouldn’t want to give anyone else an unfair advantage.”

Maybe it was just the effects of the beers he’d already drank, but Michael could have sworn that Ashton’s gaze lingered on him a little longer than it probably should have. “You’re too nice.” The blonde beamed fondly, “I’ll transfer you my half of the money in the morning, unless you wanna take a tenner from my room?”

“Oh is that an open invitation?” Calum asked, a lazy smile curling the corners of his lips. “You owe me at least that from when we bet on whether or not Luke could drink that tzatziki sauce last time.”

“Fuck off, Calum! I don’t owe you a penny, I won that bet, Luke’s a fucking wuss…”

“Hey! I am not!” Luke interrupted incredulously.

“Okay, I need to hear that whole story when I get back!” Ashton giggled. “I’ll just grab a case of whatever beer is the cheapest though, yeah.”

There was a general murder of agreement before Ashton headed out of the front door. Michael fond him watching until Ashton had disappeared into the hallway, swinging the front door closed behind him. “He’s so nice…” The blonde sighed dreamily, still gazing at the closed front door. “Don’t you think he’s just the best?”

Calum and Luke exchanged a ‘is he for real’ glance before silently agreeing that this was the perfect opportunity to tease Michael about his blatant love for Ashton.

“Yeah, he’s pretty special.” Calum agreed, smirking slyly. “You really can’t sing his praises highly enough, can you?”

Shaking his head, Michael finally returned his attention to the TV. “You really can’t, he’s just so kind and sweet.”

Calum nodded in agreement. “Not bad to look at either!”

“Right?!” Michael giggled, oblivious to the fact that his tipsiness was making his lips too loose.

“Hey Mike.” Luke cut in, reaching over to nudge his friend’s shoulder. “How’s being in love with your flatmate working out for you?” His conversational tone was entirely at odds with mischief in his eyes. It confused Michael but the youngest friend’s words were altogether too bold, a blatant overstep if ever there was one.

Despite his inner rage at being called out like this, Michael fumbled, unable to cobble together an appropriate response. “Ugh, I don’t even… You’re so far-“

“There’s no point denying it anymore.” Calum chuckled, “I can feel the sexual tension between you two from across the hall!”

“God, I bet it’s like watching a car crash, isn’t it?” Luke asked, picking up the bowl of M&M’s on the coffee table. “It’s horrific but you can’t tear your eyes away? Am I right?”

Calum nodded. “It’s like watching a bad fucking soap opera.”

Michael felt offended and embarrassed but still no words seemed to form coherently in his mouth.

“At least it’s a bit less tragic now we can be sure it’s not entirely one sided!” Luke stage whispered with a calculating look on his face as he met Calum’s gaze.

“Yeah, it’s mildly less irritating!” Calum laughed.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Michael sputtered. “Ash and I agreed that our one night stand is ancient history, we’re not-“

“Oh puh-lease!” Calum scoffed. “If you two haven’t fucked again by the end of this month I’ll eat my bucket hat.”

***

Ashton had returned with a case of twenty four bottles of beer and as a result, lad’s night had ended up running into the early hours of Saturday morning.

Having drank his way through more than his fair share of that case, Michael didn’t end up rising from his pit until noon had long since been and gone.

“Ah you are still alive!” Ashton chuckled, tearing his attention away from the TV to look at his flatmate.

This was definitely not fucking fair. Michael didn’t need to look in a mirror to know that he looked exactly as he felt - rough as all hell. Ashton on the other hand, still looked as dreamy as ever. His black curls, although slightly ruffled and fluffy, were still on the stylish side of messy and he’d somehow found the motivation to get dressed, too, something Michael wasn’t even contemplating.

“I’m glad you’re up now, though, I wondered if you had anything planned for dinner?” Ashton asked, peering at Michael from behind his horn-rimmed glasses.

The thought of food made Michael’s stomach lurch unpleasantly and he had to fight to hold back a wretch.

Ashton gives a sympathetic giggle before pausing his show and rising to his feet. “I’ll take that as a no. Don’t worry, buddy. I have a plan but first…” he jogged over to the kitchen and flicked on the kettle. “Why don't you go and take a shower while I make you a tea? You’ll feel better after that and then we will talk dinner!”

As Michael plods over to the bathroom, he shoots one last look over at Ashton, busily preparing mugs on the countertop and tries his absolute hardest to remember a time that he wasn’t in love with his flatmate.

***

As always, Ashton was proven to be 100% correct.

Michael felt a million times better once he was showered and snuggled on the sofa with a mug of steaming tea.

“You look a little more alive now.” Ashton smirked, sparing Michael a sideways glance before returning his attention to ‘Law and Order’. “Do you think you can handle talking about dinner yet?”

The ache in Michael’s stomach felt a lot more like hunger than it had done when he first woke up and the thought of food didn’t make him feel like throwing up anymore so he nodded. “What’re your plans, chef?”

Ashton’s cheeks turned a rosy pink as he shrugged. “I couldn’t bear to see you try to cobble together another freezer meal so I thought you might like me to teach you a simple pasta dish?” He suggested, his tone a little shy like he was worried what Michael’s reaction would be. “I’ll do most of the work, but I thought if you helped out, you’ll learn how to make something other than Super Noodles.”

Michael couldn’t even be mad at the subtle dig at his cooking skills. He was terrible in the kitchen and it was just a little embarrassing that Ashton had noticed just how dyer his cooking skills were. “When you say simple, do you mean like a recipe and technique you can write on the back of a postage stamp because that’s about the level of my skill.”

Rolling his eyes, Ashton casually threw his arm around Michael’s shoulders. “Don't be so hard in yourself, buddy! I once taught Luke how to make scrambled eggs on the stove so he didn’t have to be a savage and use the microwave anymore, so there’s definitely hole for you, I promise.”

Michael tried to focus on the hat Ashton was saying but all that his slow, hungover brain could process was that he was pressed against his stupidly gorgeous flat mate’s side. The heady smell of Ashton’s minty body wash and the soft scent of his fabric conditioner felt intoxicating and Michael could do nothing besides allow his head to drop into Ashton’s shoulder.

To the blonde’s surprise, Ashton shuffle away or call him out on it. He simply rests his own head on Michael’s and laughs. “We’ll make a chef of you yet, Clifford.” He promised.

***

They spent a good three hours, watching reruns of C.S.I and making plans to start a Marvel movie marathon after dinner. They sat close to each other the whole time and Michael noticed Ashton watching him from the corner of his eye on at least three separate occasions.

By the time Ashton suggested they start making dinner, Michael had gone over his conversation with Calum and Luke the previous night, about sixty times. His two best friends had convinced him that Ashton wanted Michael just as much as Michael wanted Ashton.

“The way he looks at you, dude.” Calum laughed. “He’s practically imagining you naked at any given moment. It’s getting uncomfortable.”

“Don’t be stupid!” Michael reprimanded. “He doesn’t think of me like that anymore. We had a one night thing months ago. That’s it. Nothing else will ever happen between us again, we’re just flatmates.”

Calum and Luke exchanged a sceptical glance before bursting into laughter.

“Yeah right!” Luke huffed sarcastically. “Do you know how many times I hear your name come out of his mouth at work these days?”

Michael’s cheeks reddened. He had no idea that Ashton talked about him at work. It felt kind of surreal to imagine his roommate relaying snippets of their home life to Luke.

“Let me guess!” Calum interrupted. “About a thousand…”

Nodding, Luke drained the last of his beer. “Yeah and that’s just before lunch!”

“Honestly, if they don’t bang soon I’m gonna knock their heads together.” Calum sighed. “Did you know Michael comes over to my place most mornings so he doesn’t have to watch Ashton do topless yoga?” He asked Luke disbelievingly. “I want my lie-in’s back!”

At the time, Michael hadn’t believed his friends. He didn’t think that there was even a remote possibility that Ashton still carried a torch for him. But in the clear light of day, Michael couldn’t deny that all the signs were there… perhaps there could be more between them after all.

He followed Ashton into the kitchen, rolling up the sleeves of his grey oversized sweater, trying to clear his mind enough to be able to process learning a new skill.

“Okay, this is like the simplest recipe I know but it’s delicious and tastes so much better than the freezer junk you usually make for yourself.” Ashton rambles as he grabs a saucepan and a frying pan from the shelf near the cooker.

“Hey, freezer junk has been my lifeline on many occasions, I’d probably be dead without it.” Michael scoffed, only half joking.

Ashton rolled his eyes fondly, handing Michael the saucepan. “Fill this with water for me and then put it on the back hob, while it’s boiling I’ll teach you how to make the sauce.”

As Michael carried out his instructions, he couldn’t help but admire the concentration on Ashton’s face when he began rifling through the fridge and cupboard, pulling out various ingredients.

Once the pan of water was safely on the job Ashton had indicated, Michael returned his full attention to the slightly older man.

“Right, the first thing we do for the sauce is put 2-3 tablespoons of olive oil into this cold pan.” Ashton explained, pushing his glasses up his nose a little, reminding Michael of a hot English teacher or something… fuck, it was already difficult enough for Michael to concentrate without random fantasies about Ashton fucking him over a desk running through his mind. “Usually I’d never add oil to a cold pan, but for this particular recipe, it works because if the pan was already hot, the first ingredients would burn before the rest was in there.”

There was something about the way Ashton talked with such passion and confidence that made Michael wish he was confident enough to just drag him to the bedroom, his need for more from Ashton becoming unbearable. He forced himself to nod, pretending like he understood when really, Ashton could be telling him absolutely anything right now, and Michael would not know the difference because all he can think about is the way Ashton had groaned at the feeling of Michael’s nails running down his back and how he’d growled Michael’s name as he neared his climax.

“Can you pass me the basil?” Ashton asked, pulling Michael out of his memory.

The blonde surveyed the ingredients on the countertop. Luckily he recognised most of them, so he picked up the basil by process of elimination and handed it to Ashton like a dutiful sous chef.

Ashton looked mildly impressed as he took the bag of basil and took out handful. “We want about ten or so decent sized leaves and we tear them in half before adding them to the oil, okay?” He waited for Michael’s nod of understanding before tearing the leaves in his hand and dropping them into the pan.

“Then we need to chop 6-8 cloves of garlic directly into the pan.” Michael looked back at the little stack of ingredients and frowned, noticing an instant problem. “We only have one clove of garlic…” he pointed out, biting his bottom lip worriedly.

Ashton burst out laughing as he picked the garlic up from the counter. “This is a whole bulb, babe…” he explained, apparently not even noticing his use of the supposedly accidental pet name.

It was difficult for Michael to feel too offended by Ashton’s laughter when he’d just called him babe, though, so he let it go, focusing on the term of endearment, no matter how accidental it might have been, rather than the humour at his dumb mistake.

“It’s the smaller, wedge shaped pieces that are cloves, please don’t mix that up if you make this without my help.” Ashton chuckled, breaking six cloves from the bulb and picking up a tiny knife he’d laid out next to the oven.

“Don’t laugh at me!” Michael pouted. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I almost never do.”

Ashton gave him a fond smile. “You’re not alone in that, I promise…”

It was hard not to feel comforted by Ashton’s lopsided smile, so most of his embarrassment slipped away fairly quickly.

“I just chop off the little hard parts at the bottom of each clove and peel the skin off before chopping it directly into the pan. Don’t chop it on a board or you’ll lose some of the flavour.” Ashton explained carefully.

Michael watched with interest as Ashton demonstrated his technique with the first two cloves. He handed the third to Michael along with the knife and gestures for him to add it to the pan.

It took him probably three times longer to chop that one clove into the pan, than it took Ashton to do the first two, but he was encouraging and patient. The older man praised Michael for completing the tiny task, seeming genuinely impressed.

Once all six cloves of garlic had been added to the pan, Ashton turned on the hob into a medium heat. “Okay, so we stir this together for about five minutes. Can you do that while I open the tin of tomatoes?”

Michael nodded, picking up the wooden spoon from the counter and storing the simmering ingredients together. It already kinda smelt like his favourite Italian restaurant and his tummy grumbled impatiently.

“One thing I should specify is, you need to use tins of whole tomatoes, not chopped.” Ashton explained as he poured the first tin of tomatoes into the sizzling pan. “Can you pour in the second one?”

Michael did as he was told and watched as Ashton squished the whole tomatoes down and stored them into the red eat of the ingredients.

“Mmm it smells so good.” Michael sighed, breathing in the delicious smells.

Ashton looked proud of himself as he offered a smile. “Can you take over the stirring while I add the salt?”

Michael took the spoon from Ashton, ensuring that their fingers brushed.

There was a moment of eye contact and a silent shifting of tension between the two of them. If ever there was a time to bite the bullet and kiss Ashton, now would be it. His nerves failed him though and he dropped his gaze to the simmering pan.

Instead of moving around Michael to pick up the salt as he’d done for the tomatoes, Ashton simply reached past the blonde, pushing him against the counter momentarily before he pulled back to add the salt to the pan.

If Michael had been fully alert, he’d have recognised that for the flirtatious move it was meant to be, as it was, he put it down to a simple lack of judgement on Ashton’s part and continued to concentrate on stirring the sauce.

***

The tomato pasta tasted as good as it had smelt. It turned out to be exactly what Michael’s hungover body had needed.

He and Ashton had eaten it at their little table in the kitchen. Conversation had flowed freely as always, skirting around flirtatious at times but never quite enough for Michael to pluck up the courage to take things further.

“The only thing that would have made that better would have been a nice glass of white wine, but I thought you were still a bit too delicate for that.” Ashton giggled as he picked up the empty plates from the table and carried them over to the kitchen sink.

“Hey, you drank as much as I did!” Michael pouted, picking up the empty glasses and following Ashton to the sink. “How’re you not hungover.”

Ashton chuckled as he ran the water into the washing up bowl. “You’re just a lightweight, Mikey.”

It wasn’t the first time Michael had been called that so it didn’t take him by surprise. He laughed it off as he grabbed a tea cloth ready to dry the dishes that Ashton washed. “One day you’ll stop teasing me, Irwin.”

Ashton shook his head. “Don’t count on it, babe… you’re too easy to make fun of, that’s not my fault.”

There it was again, that little slip, a fond nickname that roommates probably shouldn’t have for one another.

Quickly pulling himself together, Michael nudged his flatmate in the arm, just hard enough to pull a surprised “oof” from him.

“Careful now.” Ashton warned jokingly. “You don’t want to start a scuffle you can’t finish, Clifford.”

Michael threw caution to the wind and nudged Ashton again, deliberately keeping his gaze on the plate he was drying.

“That’s it!” Ashton huffed, scooping up a handful of bubbles and swiping them across Michael’s face.

The blonde spluttered and shook his damp fringe out of his face before fixing Ashton with a glare. A few acts of retaliation flashed through his mind. He could have whipped Ashton with the tea cloth or splashed him with dishwater but none of that happened.

There was something about the way Ashton’s eyes were sparkling, almost like he was daring Michael to do the thing he’d been too scared to do this whole time. He refused to let another opportunity pass like before when they were making the pasta sauce. Michael tried not to overthink as he stepped forward and cupped Ashton’s face with one hand before leaning in and kissing him.

The raven-haired man’s lips felt every bit as soft as they had done on that night seven months ago. Ashton didn’t kiss back with the same hunger and desperation that he had done back then, though.

Michael stepped back, feeling his cheeks heat up in an embarrassed blush. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, Ash…”

Ashton bit his bottom lip between his teeth as he stared at Michael intently. “No…” He said, finally breaking his silence. “You just shouldn’t have waited so long.”

The older man’s words had barely penetrated Michael’s brain before he was being pressed against the counter behind him. Ashton’s lips were on his again but this time they were working just like they had been that night at Ashton’s old place.

The intense kiss pulled a whine from Michael and he automatically wrapped his arms around the older man’s neck.

It started as a fairly simple kiss but it quickly began to build momentum. It was the crack in the dam holding back all of their emotions for all this time.

“Ashton…” Michael gasped as they pulled apart for air. “I know we said we should just be friends but…”

“Fuck being just friends.” Ashton mumbled as he worked kisses down Michael's neck. “I can’t pretend anymore.”

Those words were all Michael needed to hear in order to relax into this. “I can’t tell you how bad I’ve wanted this.” He whispered.

Ashton slipped one of his thighs between Michael’s as he nipped at the blonde’s neck. “I think I have some idea.” He groaned. “I never stopped thinking of the way you moaned my name that night, Michael.” The older man confessed, pulling back just enough to look Michael in the eye. “Wanted it again since the moment I walked in here.”

The way Ashton was looking at him like he wanted to devour every inch of Michael, had the blonde melting. “Me too.” He crashed his lips against Ashton’s in another desperate kiss as he subconsciously rutted against the older man’s thigh. After the months Michael had spent feeling kind of lonely and touch-starved, the tiny amount of friction was enough to have him whimpering against Ashton’s lips.

“Uh, you sound and taste even better than I remember.” Ashton muttered, pressing his thigh harder against Michael’s crotch to pull another little gasp from him.

“Ashton! Fuck, please, I…” Michael’s head tipped back as he lost his fight to regain any sort of control over his own body. He was in Ashton’s control now, and Ashton knew it.

“Come on…” Ashton coaxed, stepping back from Michael as he took both of his hands in his to pull him away from the kitchen counter. Michael whined high in his throat as he easily followed where Ashton led.

Michael had hardly been into Ashton’s bedroom since he had helped him move some furniture the day he moved in; it had almost felt too intimate to go into Ashton’s personal space given the history between them. Seeing it now, cozy and dark with slithers of light coming through the window from the lamp posts outside, gave Michael a chill; it felt like Ashton was sharing a secret with him.

He followed Ashton’s lead dutifully all the way to the bed, accepting the deep kiss Ashton offered him as a reward, before the older man peeled his oversized sweater from his torso, breaking away to pull it over Michael’s head. Michael wanted more contact, but was disappointed when Ashton gently but decisively laid him down among the crisp sheets, instead.

Ashton pulled his own t-shirt over his head in one fluid motion and flicked the lamp on his bedside table on, bathing the bed in a warm glow that made Michael feel like he was in a dream.

Michael gazed in wonder at Ashton as he climbed into bed beside him, letting his eyes travel all over his arms and chest, taking in the extra tone and definition in his body since the last time he’d been able to stare at him like this; clearly, the yoga was doing more than just allowing Ashton to ‘find his centre’.

He didn’t think he was anything special to look at, but he could see Ashton mirroring his own actions, eyes full of lust searching all over the parts of Michael’s body he could see, and even his gaze lingering on a part he couldn’t.

“Ash,” Michael breathed out, surprising himself with how far gone he sounded already. “Take ‘em off, I wanna…” He trailed off as Ashton’s eyes snapped up to meet his own, holding eye contact for only a moment before he nodded almost imperceptibly, shuffling down the bed and taking hold of the waistband of Michael’s sweatpants. He returned his gaze to the pale man before him, biting his own lip as he allowed his fingertips to graze the skin of Michael’s hips. “These too?” Ashton questioned in a low voice as he brushed the fabric of Michael’s underwear.

“Oh God, yeah”, Michael answered, squirming slightly from the infuriatingly gentle feel of Ashton’s touch. Ashton didn’t need to be told twice. Michael shivered with the feeling of being suddenly completely exposed as his sweatpants and underwear hit the carpet. Michael looked up at Ashton through his lashes, braced up on his knees in his black, ripped jeans. “You’d better be planning on losing those in the next second, Irwin.”

Ashton smirked as he undid his jeans. “And I mean your underwear, too!” Michael amended hastily, hungry to see if his memory of Ashton’s body was accurate.

The dark-haired man’s smirk grew wider at Michael’s clarification, pulling his zip down and allowing his jeans to fall open, exposing only bare skin beneath. “Underwear?”

Michael’s jaw dropped a little, prompting a deliciously filthy laugh from his roommate. “For the record, roomie - I don’t wear underwear.” Ashton winked as he yanked his jeans down as far as he could in his current position, before wriggling around to pull them off completely. Michael was pleased to see that, if anything, his memory had been selling Ashton short. Blame it on the alcohol.

Michael didn’t know how to decide on what to do first; on one hand, he wanted to kiss Ashton non-stop for the rest of eternity, but on the other hand, if he didn’t get filled up in the next 10 minutes, he was definitely going to throw a tantrum. Luckily, he realised, it probably wasn’t up to him. All of his experience with Ashton so far told him that the older man would definitely be taking the lead, and this was definitely not a problem for Michael. Indeed, it had worked out very well for him last time, when his staff night out started at the bar and ended with Ashton eating him out like his life depended on it.

“What are you thinking?” Ashton’s sultry voice broke through his thoughts, apparently wanting a coherent answer despite the fact that he had just begun to run his fingers up and down Michael’s sensitive, pale inner thighs. Michael let out a shuddery breath as he tried to use his words to tell Ashton he wanted anything and everything possible between them, right there and then. Perhaps the way his cock twitched when Ashton let one his nails run over a faded stretch mark right at the base of one of his thighs would speak for itself.

“Maybe we should get right to, huh, gorgeous?” Ashton teased, withdrawing his touches to lean towards his bedside table. He pulled open the top drawer, fumbling only for a moment until he found what he was looking for. The lube and condom were dropped carelessly onto the mattress as he shut the drawer again, returning his attention to the man almost-beneath him immediately. “We’ve got plenty of time for all the other goods stuff; right now, I need to fuck you, and I know you need me to fuck you...don’t you?”

Michael wondered at what point in his life he had begun to communicate exclusively in whines, but Ashton seemed to be into it, so it didn’t matter. Michael watched impatiently as Ashton popped the top on the half-empty bottle of lube, wasting no time in squirting a generous amount onto two fingers on his right hand and pulling Michael’s leg fully around his hip with his left.

Michael’s heart jumped as much as his cock when Ashton breathed gently on the lube coating his fingers in an attempt to warm it slightly before he brought them straight down to Michael’s bare hole, rubbing over it in a firm circle.

Michael was glad he didn’t have the problem of not wanting his roommate to hear him getting fucked, anymore, as he let out his loudest, neediest whine yet. Ashton proved he had meant what he said about not taking their time with their second tryst, sinking his index finger inside Michael in one fluid motion. Before Michael had got to 10, Ashton was opening him up at a steady, delicious pace and was driving Michael crazy in record time.

Michael wouldn’t claim to be a pornstar or anything, but he didn’t normally have a problem with stamina. If Ashton kept it up like this, though, Michael was in danger of coming before Ashton’s thick cock got any closer to him, and that was unacceptable.

“Ash, please, I can’t...I want, ne-your cock, please!” Michael cried out as Ashton probed his spot one last time before immediately acquiescing to Michael’s begging. Michael wriggled at the loss of Ashton’s fingers, but took comfort in the fact that Ashton was already tearing the condom packet open.

Michael watched in awe-tinged anticipation as Ashton gave himself a couple of loose tugs once he had the condom on, before closing in on his lover once more, making sure Michael was laid comfortably on the pillows as he positioned himself over him. Michael clung to Ashton’s shoulders as he lined himself up, just resting the tip on Michael’s slick hole for a moment.

Ashton’s hazel eyes bore down into Michael’s green ones with a soft fire as he raised one hand to brush Michael’s fringe out of his flushed face. Michael let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding as Ashton pushed in - slowly, but all the way.. He felt like he was sinking and floating simultaneously, and wrapped his arms around Ashton’s neck to anchor himself here, with him, in this moment.

Ashton pressed his face deep into Michael’s neck, kissing and sucking his way up towards Michael’s ear. “You good?” He murmured, shifting his hips a miniscule amount. “Yeah,” Michael breathed, “S’good, please…”.

With a final nip to Michael’s neck, Ashton pulled back slightly and began to move his hips properly, his cock sliding halfway out each time as he began to build a steady rhythm for them. Michael felt that perhaps in their sexual relationship so far, he was earning himself the reputation of a bit of a Pillow Princess, and so he began to move his own hips to meet Ashton’s building thrusts. Ashton groaned, long and loud, at the heightened sensations Michael’s movements brought, and they began to work together towards their goal.

Suddenly, Ashton’s mouth was crowding his, his tongue sliding into his mouth in a glorious kiss that Michael never wanted to end. He couldn’t tell if it had been 10 minutes or 10 hours when he felt that familiar feeling begin to bubble in the lower stomach. Ashton had begun to up the pace of his thrusts, his hips occasionally stuttering as groans rumbled low in his throat, so Michael knew they were on the same page.

“Ash,” He murmured in the millisecond between kisses. “Touch me, please, I’m getting so-” Michael broke off into a moan as Ashton was already wrapping a firm hand around his neglected cock, stroking it with determination and flicking his thumb over Michael’s dripping head. “You close, baby?” He murmured, eyes drifting over Michael’s face and the arousal present there. Michael was starting to writhe slightly and his head was flopping to the side on the pillow, but Ashton wanted his attention. With his free hand, he took Michael’s chin and turned his head to meet Ashton’s stare. The moment Michael was forced to meet his strong, heated gaze, his hazel eyes boring down on him with such intensity, Michael felt the kick of heat and it was all over. He cried out Ashton’s name and let out a series of curses and moans as he came, hard and hot over Ashton’s hand and their sweaty stomachs in equal measure.

Michael hadn’t finished himself before he felt Ashton taken by surprise, as well; his hips shooting forward to fill him to the hilt for the last time as he spilt into the condom, releasing Michael’s chin to brace himself through his orgasm on the pillows. “Michael, fuck!”

Michael regained enough control to watch Ashton’s face through hooded eyes as he came, moaning and unrestrained as he finished. He thought he looked heavenly.

As they both fought to catch their breath, Ashton pulled out gingerly, releasing Michael from his grip as he moved away to remove and dispose of the condom. Michael wriggled in place, trying to get comfortable to recover from what he hoped would be the first of many. Ashton came back from the bin in the corner and flopped back down, alongside Michael now, lifting his arm to allow Michael to snuggle in under it when he wrapped it around him. “So…” He said, sounding casual as you like. “About the whole platonic, friendly, roommate thing…”

masterlist for the 5sos ficwriters collab • my masterlist

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cherryonigiri · 4 years

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the retrospective: alice’s 1k special || lover masterlist

matchup requests: CLOSED

@katsushimaa asked: congrats on 1k Alice!! i’m so proud!!! can i request a matchup for the event? my personality type is ENFP, my house is ravenclaw, five words for me: loud, optimistic, friendly, lazy, and happy-go-lucky, my hobbies are writing and playing vball, and partying sometimes, i usually go for a comfy look, and my fav beverage is milk tea!! thank you for this 💞

A/N: yssa! Thank you for all the encouragement - you were one of the first people who really inspired me to keep writing even when my motivation was not the best <3 ahh i still remember when we mutually freaked out over each other’s writing and it’s honestly one of my best memories here 💖💖💖 have a wonderful day!!! -alice

Your matchup is: Komori Motoya

How you met: At an MSBY fan meet. You’re a pretty big volleyball fan and enjoy playing the sport regularly. Somehow, you were lucky enough to score a ticket to the fanmeet for one of your favorite teams in the league (You’re torn between EJP Raijin and MSBY Black Jackals). The line for the event is pretty long, and while you’re waiting you strike up conversation with your line neighbor, talking about different players in the league He seems oddly familiar and you can’t really put your finger on where you recognize him from, since he’s wearing a facemask. It isn’t until you’re at the table shaking hands with Hinata Shoyo and you hear your neighbor go “Kiyoomi!” only for Sakusa to respond with “Keep it down Motoya.” Wait. Motoya..? AS IN KOMORI MOTOYA? Anyways, Komori sees your eyes widen as you stare at him in shock and sheepishly comments “Ah, you caught me.” At the end of the event you don’t expect Komori to ask you for your number, but the two of you exchange contact info. What can he say, Komori enjoyed your laid back personality + passion for volleyball.

Your first date: The two of you text back and forth for a couple days. His teammates and his cousins warn him to be cautious, but you’re always polite over text, and never pry into anything he feels uncomfortable sharing. He’s finding that he’s enjoying your company over text and calls, and feels that going on at least one date with you won’t do anyone any harm (if anything he’d be ecstatic if you agreed to go on said date). He asks if you want to have lunch at Onigiri Miya and you agree. You’re not really sure what to expect, but Komori surprises you by keeping the lunch super chill. He kind of forgot to tell you it was a date, so you don’t really realize until he’s like, “where do you want to go for our second date?” really casually and you both have a freakout moment where you realize none of you ever established this was a date? (You’ll laugh about this later.) Anyways, you settle your plans with him, with promises for an at home movie marathon next week.

Your first kiss: Very casual and spontaneous. Komori invites you over to his place, of course telling you to go through the back door of the dorms since he doesn’t want you to get caught up with any lurking fans or have your picture taken by the media (he doesn’t want to scare you off 🥺). But he gets really excited just waiting for you to come over so the minute he hears the doorbell ring he’s flinging his front door open and it kinda just happens? He’s on autopilot because he’s so happy to see you again so he doesn’t really think before he’s leaning towards your lips for a kiss. No tongue, but definitely longer than a peck, and it’s really sweet because he has an arm around your waist while his other hand cups your cheek.

Anniversary: If you’re okay with it, he’d like to go public with your relationship. While people have been aware for a while that he’s dating, he’s been careful not to reveal your identity before you’re ready, especially since volleyball fans can get really intense. The most he’ll do is include your silhouette or hands in some of his photos on social media, but for the most part you two enjoy your lives outside of the limelight. Of course, sometimes having to plan routes and bend over backwards to avoid the press + fans can get exhausting, so he asks if he can post a photo on your anniversary. It’s a very simple caption ‘thank you for 2 years’ and a selfie of you two grinning at the camera while holding up your favorite boba orders from a date a few months ago. Anyways after that all your phones/devices are on mute and the two of you enjoy a fun video game night with face masks and TLC. Of course the night is not complete without boba, snacks and some takeout. He takes way more selfies that are for his and your eyes only, because he loves having photos to remind him of all the happiness you’ve brought into his life.

How they propose: After a game, in the private waiting room/outside the locker rooms. Everyone who is important to you and him are there - his teammates, Kiyoomi (He invited Sakusa to the game and his cousin obliged bc he knew that this was an important moment), your friends and family (he’d sneakily given them all tickets + post-game special access passes to the game). You thought you were just doing the usual and heading towards the locker rooms to congratulate your boyfriend on his win before heading out for dinner. But instead when you reach the hallway, all your loved ones are standing there, and they are all holding up little posters that have photos from all your dates/anniversaries/years together with Komori on them. Once you’re close enough, they part like the Red Sea, revealing Komori, kneeling in front of you with a ring and looking at you with so much adoration in his eyes. He doesn’t even have to say anything, you’re already sobbing yes and tackling him into a hug.

What your wedding looks like: I feel like you two are both really nonchalant about the guest list/how many people come - like whoever can make it can make it. Of course, between the two of you being super friendly and keeping in contact with literally everyone, you send out a bunch of invitations (you swear Komori invites half of the V-league and then some) but it ends up being a really fun wedding! I feel like you guys would definitely be a summer wedding with a sunflower aesthetic - either there’s a field of sunflowers nearby or sunflowers are the centerpiece of your decorations. It’s a cheerful flower that represents your happy and shiny relationship :) Both of you would insist on having people play party games at the reception because you want to have fun at your wedding.

Newlywed/domestic hc: You and Komori become THAT brunch/party couple - you guys love hosting parties/gatherings for the EJP Raijin team, and also small get-togethers with high school classmates/teammates, family etc. You have a big house (courtesy of that V-league pay + your own job) and have multiple guest rooms + pull out couches for people to stay on. After your house clears out - the two of you will be cleanin out a guest room when he just says “Imagine when we can turn this into a playroom” or “imagine when this will be a little one’s bedroom” and you two just spend the afternoon imagining your future family together.

#komori x reader #komori motoya x reader #komori motoya #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu matchups #haikyuu #itachiyama x reader #itachiyama #alice's 1k special #the retrospective

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bellemorte180 · 4 years

Text

The Taylor Swift/folklore album coming of age story breakdown for Caroline that no one asked for but I’m giving anyway.

Okay, so I’m OBESSESSED with Taylor Swift’s new album. I do not think I’ve listened to anything else since it came out. It feels like a giant coming of age story for Caroline and how it leads her to Klaus; and their forever.

So, my brain developed an entire plot bunny based around the songs. I’m going to share it with you knowing I’ll never write it (meaning its free game for anyone who wants this idea). Now, I’m taking the songs out of order on the album.

Starts after season 4 of TVD- except Klaus never left for NOLA and no magic baby (just would not work for what I have planned). Also, Liz was killed by Silas.

The story starts the summer after their senior year of high school.

So let's get started......

seven

It begins here. This part will show where Caroline is right now. Stefan is gone (Silas really is dead, and Stefan is soul searching). Damon and Elena are shaking up, which is SUPER hard for Caroline to see. Tyler is off with a werewolf pack again, trying to lick his wounds from his other back being slaughtered. Bonnie is dead-which everyone knows about.

Caroline is alone and struggling with mourning Bonnie and her mother, Tyler once again leaving, Matts off with Rebekah and Elena being with Damon.

This part of the story would be looking back to her childhood and wondering if college is what she wants. Caroline is questioning everything and what eternity has in store for her.

mirrorball

Caroline goes out to a club or bar just outside of town. She runs into Klaus and they have a night where they dance. They have a good time and Caroline is reminded about the good side of Klaus. He shows her parts of herself that she buried deep down inside. They laugh and for a moment, the grief, pain and loneliness melts away. He shows her the good parts of vampirism that she denied herself.

It’s the beginning of the end in many ways.

august

Their affair begins here. They have the summer of their lives. No one pays any attention to what Caroline is doing because everyone is gone except Elena; but she is so focused on Damon. Klaus and Caroline find a moment of peace together, but Caroline is counting down to it ending. Summer is coming to an end and Tyler called her. She is to start college soon but still so unsure what to do. In the end, the guilt of her feelings for Klaus catch up to her and she ends it.

Elena and Caroline go to college, rooming together; but Caroline cannot get Klaus out of her mind.

hoax

Klaus is fighting for Caroline to give him a real chance. Caroline keeps holding off, but she knows she wants him; but is terrified of what Elena and Tyler would say. Tyler is back and wants to resume a relationship with her. She knows that Klaus loves her. She has known that for a long time. Its her feelings that she hasn’t figured out. She feels that she is twisting a knife in Elena’s and Tyler’s back: but at the same time, they constantly hurt her by leaving (Tyler) and being with Damon (Elena).

But Caroline cannot make a decision.

So, she goes to him one night and they have sex.

illicit affairs

They are sleeping together regularly but hiding it. His family, who are all are back, and her friends have no idea. She is in a relationship with Tyler but sleeping with Klaus on the side. It’s a mess and she knows that it is wrong, but she is at the point where she can’t give him up. She does little things for him and he makes her feel happy.

This goes on for months.

It doesn’t end until Tyler catches them in bed together.

mad woman

Here is where shit hits the fan. Caroline is being pulled in a thousand directions. Tyler is pissed and hurt, which Caroline knows is a legitimate reaction. Elena is playing the victim, not believing that Caroline would sleep with Klaus. Klaus wants her to full commit to him. Caroline feels that she is at war with everyone.

She goes on the defensive and serves some just truths here. She tells Elena exactly how it feels to watch her with Damon. She tells Tyler how hurt she feels because she was always put second best with him. She points fingers and it makes pretty much everything worse.

She even gets into an argument with Klaus; who cannot fathom what she is feeling right now.

epiphany

It’s Matt who calms her down. He tells her that, yes, he is disappointed that she slept with Klaus but not because he is “Klaus” but because she didn’t end things with Tyler first. He points out why Elena would be hurt by Caroline being with Klaus, because he killed her and Jenna. Klaus is Elena’s monster, but also understands that Damon is Caroline’s. It was a slap in the face but something Caroline needed to hear.

She realizes here that she needs to sort out her life. That she is in the rut that is suffocating her in a way that she cannot handle. She has an epiphany and realizes that she is not meant for that small town anymore; and that she needs out.

That she needs to figure out what she wants out of life and not do everything that is expected of her.

The first thing she does is drop out of university.

The second was to sell her house.

my tears ricochet

This is Tyler’s goodbye. He is demonizing her to high heaven for sleeping with the man who killed 12 of his friends and his mother. He is making her out to be a villain and Caroline cannot blame him. The conversation is bad. The fight and they both say a bunch of hurtful things to each other. Caroline knows she messed up and is sorry for it; but she refuses to wish it never happened. It taught her so much of herself that she cannot apologize for it.

She promised Tyler that she did love him but it just wasn’t enough. They end things on VERY bad terms.

Caroline understands that her relationship with Tyler was never going to be the same.

betty

Next is Elena. This goodbye goes better. It is heartfelt and sad. Matt gave Elena the same talk he did Caroline. Caroline tells Elena that the worse thing she had ever done was betraying her friend with Klaus but like she said with Tyler, she does not regret it.

Elena is not ready to forgive Caroline; but neither is Caroline ready to forgive Elena for Damon.

They part ways with broken hearts but a mutual understanding that maybe one day they could be friends again.

exile

This is Klaus’s goodbye. She loves him and tells him so. She just isn’t ready to be his forever yet. They fight and they cry. They have sex but it is that broken goodbye sex that ends in empty feelings and heart ache.

She grabs the things that she had left behind at his place. She does not know what is going to happen from here but she knows that she has so many things to figure out for herself.

Klaus lets her go with a promise of forever when she is ready; even though he is bitter about it.

Caroline leaves Mystic Falls, exiling herself to the unknown.

this is me trying

The first few months are hard. She roams around the US for a good while, driving from state to state. She learns more about being a vampire on her own and just lives. She starts writing in a journal but its more of a long love letter to Klaus. It’s the stories of where she has been where she is going. This is the most painful time for Caroline because she feels absolutely alone.

Then she runs into Stefan. They have a heart to heart about Damon, Elena, Klaus and Tyler. It really puts everything into perspective for Caroline. She learns that Klaus left Mystic Falls and moved to NOLA with his family. She continues to write in that journal and slowly is coming to terms with everything she had felt.

She slowly begins to heal.

cardigan

This is where Caroline really comes to terms with Klaus and how he made her feel. He made her feel strong and loved. Everyone called her a fool for falling in love with him, but she knew him. She knew a side to him that no one else did. She felt passion, love and what it meant to be wanted.

She looks at all the things she had taken with her when she fled. She remembers the moments during that summer together that she would cherish. She no longer looks back on Mystic Falls as a time of pain and regret. She no longer feels the stab of pain thinking on Tyler and Elena.

She starts to feel happiness again.

the last great American dynasty

She ends up in Rhode Island and finds a house for sale. It has this rich story behind it about a woman who loved a man so much it killed him. Turns out the woman was Rebekah, as in Klaus’s sister and a tragic tale of one of her many lost loves. Caroline takes this as a sign that she is meant to have this old house. She buys it (having the money from the house she sold in Mystic Falls).

The house is in disrepair and she fixes it up. She thinks back on the time that she had an affair with Klaus and how much she misses him.

When the house is completed, she pulls out that old journal and reads. She begins to plan for a future, knowing that Klaus would be apart of it.

the 1

Caroline realizes that Klaus is the one. She loves him in an epic love she always dreamed about. She thinks on him fondly and the memories they shared. She learns snippets from Stefan about what Klaus is up to. He ran into him while passing through NOLA. She learns about the bartender Cami and that Klaus had a weird infatuation with her. Its not love, Stefan assures her but the thought that he moved on still stings.

On a whim, wondering if he would respond; Caroline sends him the journal filled with love letters; a specific one at the end saying that she is ready for forever.

Then she waits.

peace

Klaus shows up at the house in Rhode Island. They know that its not going to be perfect. They have a massive heart to heart about what they want and what it means. Klaus vows that Cami was nothing more than a distraction while Caroline promises that she is ready to take that leap.

She does not care what anyone things anymore.

She lets Elena fall in love with Damon; not caring if Elena is betrayed by her falling in love with Klaus.

She lets Tyler run wild with his wolves; not caring if he hates her now for falling in love with Klaus.

Klaus offers her forever and she gladly takes his hand. She never sells that house and they come back to it, making it a home base for them from time to time.

He takes her across the globe; Paris, Rome and Tokyo...and so much more.

Caroline hands over her heart to him....and finds peace in that.

invisible string

Fast forward 100 years. Klaus and Caroline are still together. They have connected in a way that Caroline never felt in previous relationships. They look back on their life together; reciting how it began and how it has come so far.

They love, laugh and enjoy life the best they can; making plans for the next 100 years.

#klaroline #folklore

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applekitty · 4 years

Text

things that happened with me in the past 7 years

i feel guilty so i want to post this. it’s basically a confession post abt stuff i’ve done, stuff that’s happened to me, and general rumination on how my actions have affected people.

transparency is the thing i value most, and now that i’m comfortable to share with you guys my age, i think it’s important i share these things too.

keep in mind my memory’s a little foggy on dates so i can mostly only give approximations

content warning for MANY mentions of rape, grooming, mlp porn, and one passing mention on transphobic genderbend content. also idk if counts as it or not but just to be safe??? csa, bc it happened when i was a kid

there’s a tl;dr at the end, please at the very least read that before sending me any asks about this post

i got my iphone 4s when i was late into being 12 years old, in preparation for 7th grade. my mom thought it was time for me to get a phone so she could text me if she needed to. so, i got a way to access social media. by the time grade 7 had begun, i’d gotten this thing called ‘virtual space’. you may better know this as ‘amino’ nowadays. but back in the day, there was only one. virtual space.

virtual space (2012-2013/14?)

this was an rp media app with the ability to add posts and add pictures. i didnt know about tumblr or really anything outside of facebook at the time, so virtual space was my main social media. i only have one person who i still talk to from my times in virtual space, and i think it’s safe to say both of us do not want to remember our time there.

virtual space was a very toxic place to be, and i was one of the most toxic people on there. i was very much an elitist, a grammar nazi, and all the worst of the worst. i was very snooty and very much up my own ass. i traced art, i pretended to be a scholar.

i was nice enough to some people, but all in all, i saw myself as superior because i was ‘literate’ and others were ‘illiterate’. people who were unable to spell or write out long paragraphs like i was were seen as lesser by me, and i considered virtual space a place to assert my authority as the best writer. thanks to virtual space, i had dedicated myself to learning words, improving my writing ability, and dressing up my things with such elaborate purple prose that it’d make future me snore and die.

i did a ton of regrettable things (such as pretending i was a guy who’d gotten into a car accident purely for attention) while i was on my superiority spree.

there, on virtual space, i found out about my little pony. the first thing i ever saw from the show was the flim flam brothers song. and i loved it. so i got into mlp, starting rping in mlp things alongside the normal fandomless things.

on virtual space, people would often rip things off tumblr to put into vs. this is where i learned of tumblr. i moved off of vs and moved onto tumblr. subsequently, it’s also where i got fully into mlp.

tumblr (2013-now)

on tumblr there’s not much i can’t say that isn’t talked about in the below parts. i do want to say, though, that there was a time in my life wherein i was following and reblogging rebornica content. they reblogged some.. questionable things that i think contributed to the below stuff. just slightly, but not a bunch. btw if you do go into there you may see some of the stuff rebornica reblogged, including a thing about genderbends? know that this is my opinion on genderbends lol

mlp (2012-2015)

when i first got into mlp, it was before the season 3 premiere. during that time, i was still on vs, but i switched over to tumblr i believe after the announcements and trailers for rainbow rocks came out.

mlp ask blogs were very nice on the surface, but things like ask molestia, or ask discord whooves quickly were put into my youtube recommends. they were some of the most popular ask blogs, things that got praised; humiliation, rape, and molestation. those are the things that got you follows, those are the things that got you popular. i wanted to be popular. i was popular on vs, so i want to be here too.

if you know anything about the mlp community, there’s a reason why for that. porn is incredibly saturated in mlp, and there is a lot of rape content permeating the internet. if you need proof, just go ahead and find out what ‘fall of equestria’ is. that’s a popular au. and it’s no secret that rape is all over places like fimfiction.

~lewd mlp comic dubs~ in general were on youtube as well. they weren’t as much as a contributing factor, but their simple BEING THERE normalized the concept of ‘lewd being acceptable and beneficial for me to benefit off of’ into my mind. it was a gateway into what would further come.

mlp was my first introduction to explicit content. i was 12. it was untagged.

i opened up a multitude of ask blogs before i settled on my longest; ask shy sombra. this blog was trying to claim the fame of a inactive blog called asksissysombra. sissy sombra was an explicitly nsfw blog with rape fetishization. the blog is still up and not hidden by tumblr’s nsfw detector, nor deleted. it regularly clocked 200 notes a post.

ask shy sombra was exactly like asksissysombra, though much more tame. the rape fetishization was used in such a way where it was entirely offscreen, and fairly vague. though, with specific follower milestones, i would draw semi-lewd drawings hinting at rape, and get notes for it. thankfully, the blog didn’t get far enough into its plot (as i restarted it a total of four times) to get to the parts wherein rape was around. i made ask shy sombra when i was.. i know in eighth grade. i think a little late into eighth grade. so i’d be 14.

ask shy sombra was my most popular blog, and garnered me about 1.5k followers over a 2(?) year run. this only encouraged me to produce more content. to get more followers. naturally, this fostered in my literal child brain that this disgusting content is a good thing to make because look at all the rewards its giving me.

i would draw a lot of things purely for the edge on this ask shy sombra, and treat serious topics like things to shock people. i was surrounded by people who’d praise me and draw fanart for me. i was collecting a fanbase by making extraordinarily shitty content. wasn’t even well drawn either, lol.

i was drawing all this because i felt like i was mature and edgy for doing so, that by being dark i was better than others, that i had more substance, and that people would take me seriously.

after a while, i made myself a nsfw blog. lots of other mlp ask blogs, aka basically all of them, had nsfw blogs. so, i got myself one. i produced almost exclusively rape content, both drawings and writings. i wanted to be even more edgy, and this was a place i could do it raw, uncensored. i could unleash true horror here, on a nsfw blog. it was so shocking, so awful! isn’t that what the mlp fandom is about? being twisted and fucked up and evil on sideblogs, making awful content to go ‘ooh how edgy’ at? nothing was barred. i was 14, maybe early into 15.

i knew (aka followed, because there was a whole underground mlp nsfw community) other people, who were significantly older, for their rape content as well. and there were lots of people to choose from. one i remember (even by url) drew horrifying depictions of rape in a painterly style. there were two others i remember the style of, but not the names. these three were my introduction to guro, which thankfully i did not indulge in.

i wasn’t very active on my nsfw blog, at least. when i was, i was only there in bursts and never made anything too bad if i can remember right. most of it was just.. lewd faces or whatever. my art wasn’t good enough to get lots of reblogs in the porn sphere, thank GOD. i mass-deleted the content on that blog three times before i deleted the blog itself and never tried again. i never did like that nsfw blog.

unrelated, but i think the reason why rape as a concept in the mlp fandom is so wide spread, is because the fandom had mass produced it as a replacement for rough sex. it was just a more ‘erotic’ version of rough sex to them. a more intense version of sex, wherein tears and screams to stop were actually just lies, these creatures secretly were pleasured.

and, for people like me, it’s a good way to be the edgiest kid on the block. the more edgy you were in mlp, the more followers you were bound to get. the more attention you got. and it worked. i got so much attention.

on christmas of 2015, i stepped away from mlp for good.

in 2016, i deleted everything on ask shy sombra, (except for the follower milestones), and moved on.

psmd (2015-2017)

psmd was my new target. psmd was a lot more quiet. i hadn’t done much with psmd in comparison to mlp, as i kept most of my explicit content private. however, as some of my mutuals back in psmd would tell you, rape was not a thing i strayed from talking about here either.

leftovers from my time in mlp, sure enough, rape was in psmd as well. thankfully, it was not public, with only a select few having access to it. no one reprimanded me for it. i don’t blame them for not scolding me. what are you supposed to do to something like that? it’s nerve racking and disgusting and you just want to side-eye it and leave it alone. especially since i was most of these people’s friends.

‘private’ is a hard word to call the rape content i made for that one. because psmd’s fandom was very very, very small. there was one specific server for it with like. 15 people at most on it at one time. either way, i was making rape content for the same reason; to be the edgiest kid on the block. if you knew anything about my extraordinarily edgy psmd au, you’ll know i went all out on edge. just like with ask shy sombra, the attention-seeking for the au and the desire to get eyes on content went to the worst bottom denominator. it never went to children or whatever, though.

making rape content actually wasn’t the main thing bad i did while in that fandom, no. mostly bc it was all decently private.

i was in the pokemon ask blog community for a short while. while i was there, i was an elitist and sort of a snob. i projected my insecurity onto the bigger blogs around me, simply because i wasn’t getting the attention i thought i deserved. in mlp, it was so easy to get followers. here? not so much. i wasn’t happy about people ‘suddenly ignoring me’, so i lashed out at the community.

people who were just having fun for the sake of having fun, i didn’t like those guys! nuh uh! anyways, i sealed myself off to my small community of psmd people until i eventually decided to leave psmd for kirby in the summer of 2017. that was when i’d watched the original pilot for the kirby anime.

kirby (late 2017-now)

kirby is currently the fandom i’m in. thanks to me squishing myself into the box of ‘make this worthy of being shown on 4kids as content’, i have solidified my content. though some of it, such as my old galacta work, zero percent chill, are a little eh and show remnants of who i once was.

i’ve had a rocky transition period, however, and some individuals can attest to that, unfortunately.

i’m glad i’ve been able to try to cope with my fandom-inflicted grooming. certain events and people have gotten me to really think about morality and my actions in the past, as well as about writing and the things they may teach people.

conclusion

amino taught me that being popular and the best was the most important thing.

mlp taught me creating rape content was not only okay to produce in the most shock-factory way, but it got you popular, which is all i wanted in my 13 year old brain.

psmd taught me that people will not object to rape content— but they will pretend you and your edgy bullshit doesn’t exist. certain things are excluded from that, like one particular fic. while it’s gone now, it did exist. people knew it existed.

kirby taught me to sit down, shut the fuck up, and stop that shit. no one sat me down for it, i did it myself.

getting a few more years on me helped, lol

everyday im super duper thankful i was never groomed further past that into making incest or making pedophilic content. i’m also thankful that i got out of mlp. that my content never got truly popular in psmd. i’m thankful my grooming never got taken advantage of by any specific, older individual. i’m thankful my grooming wasn’t directly from an actual person who could’ve gotten me deeper into the mindset, wherein it’d be harder for me to get out of it.

my actions in mlp and psmd have undoubtably groomed people in the process, and for that, i’ll be eternally sorry. if you knew me during that time, with my shitty edgy-for-attention aus, sorry.

tl;dr:

when i was in the mlp fandom, i wanted to be popular and quick. i noted the most easy way to get popular, get comic dubs, get that Cool Praise, was to be edgy. and, ontop of that, one can also add in a layer of sexual assault for extra Brony Praise.

i didn’t stop to think of why things like rape or sexual assault was so massed produced in the fandom, and i don’t think i cared either. i knew rape was bad and a disgusting and terrible act and it scared me thinking about it happening to me (because im a girl lmao), so i’d write it up as a hyper-angsty thing. oohh the angst, oh how sad, look at how horrible it is, this totally isn’t stroking a huuuugeee unnecessary angstboner for a EXTRAORDINARILY delicate REAL WORLD topic at all!! totally not disrespectful to ACTUAL VICTIMS at all!!!! not that it mattered how it was written up, certain people in the fandom liked it more when things were horrible, awful, and disgustingly violent or ‘egregiously angsty’ in regards to rape. rape and its ‘angsty’ content was normalized to me when, at bare minimum, i was 13.

i ended up making rape-related extremely edgy content in the mlp fandom and i got a lot of followers. 1.5k followers. i used the shock of offscreen rape as a way to.. well, shock people. and make a horrifying story that i wanted attention towards. the praise I got for being edgy and making rape content groomed me into creating more. being groomed by no one inparticular into making this content, but by a fandom, by the sheer amount of rape content and general porn being paraded around, that really fucked me up.

when i was 15 (going on 16 in half a year), i transferred this mentality into other fandoms, trying to be the most edgy and shocking by using the actions of rape and sexual violence or even sexual trafficking as my vehicle of angst without thinking of what the writing of these subjects in such a way may say about me as a person. i didn’t care about that, i wanted to be the darkest, most edgy, most brooding. and I was, and I got mad when I didn’t get the 1.5k followers worth of attention that the mlp fandom was so willing to give me.

when i was 17, i transferred to kirby. and that’s when i realized all this edge-for-the-sake-of-edge bullshit needed to stop. i’d almost taken my extreme edge to kirby as well, but i doubled down on myself and quit that shit. thank god that i did that. i strickened myself to write g-related content with only minor, more moderate amounts of edge.

i’m now 20. i’m hypercritical of people who do the same things i did when i was younger, because hyperedge shit like the stuff i created makes me feel disgusting thinking back on it. i know i most likely groomed people into doing the exact same shit that i’d done with my presence, especially in the mlp fandom. and for everything i did, all the extremely insensitive content i made when i was younger, sorry.

i wanted to be transparent about this, and it’s important to me to be so. cards out on the table and such. if you feel uncomfortable about this new info and the things i did to get attention when i was younger, that’s completely understandable. feel free to unfollow / block me if that makes you more comfortable on this platform, even if we’re mutuals or friends.

#feels bad man #important #im probably asleep rn (this post is scheduled) so if you wanna send asks or dms about this i'll answer them in a bit lol #this is very much a confession post. i want to get all this shit off my chest #theese is. my experiences. my actions #my anxiety says i NEED to talk about this and confess all of this so thats what im doing

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qualquercoisa945 · 5 years

Text

When She Sees Me

wassup we interrupt your regularly scheduled angst for a dose of maragon fluff have fun y’all hope you enjoy it it’s a little old so it’s not as good but i still like it!!!

trigger warnings- none that i can think of, but if anything here could count as a trigger please tell me!

Catherine had barely recognized her when they walked past each other in the hall. In fact, it took Anne calling out to Maria for her to recognize her.

“Yo, Maria, what’s with the new look?” Catherine turned around as Boleyn called out to her cru- friend, Catherine chasticised herself for a second, before stopping it; she knew that it wasn’t worth it, to ignore these feelings-, and yet it took her a little to actually spot her. Catherine frowned to herself as Boleyn and Maria started talking, well out of earshot- “new look” felt like an understatement, considering she looked like a new person entirely.

Her once long hair, with its red dyed tips, was now cut neatly around shoulder length. Her usual flannel-and-jeans combination had been switched for a light pink dress, and her beany was completely gone. Her make up had, as expected, also changed, from a usual black and dark grey color scheme to a gentle pink and red.

In other words, she was just like every other popular girl. And it’s not that she didn’t look pretty, she did, but she also looked… common. In which there was nothing wrong, but what made her, herself, was gone. Catherine was forced to wonder exactly where that had gone.

But it wasn’t until after classes that she got the chance to actually talk to her about it. She was in the auditorium, gathering her things after a Debate Club meeting, when she heard the door open. She looked up the rows of seats, only to see none other than Maria herself.

“Oh hey!” She called with her usual cheerful smile as she rushed down the stairs to meet her, and Catherine was glad to see she retained her usual excitement. She gave her a small smile and a wave in return. “We’ve barely talked today, I thought you were avoiding me.”

“Not at all. Sorry if it came across as such.” Catherine cleared up with a polite smile.

“No biggie!” Maria paused for a minute, and it was clear there was a new found tension in the air, something Catherine had trouble seeing through. “Um, what do you think? Of the, “new look,” as Anne puts it, I mean.” Maria giggled nervously.

“Well, it’s certainly different. More colourful, I suppose you could say. But it looks good on you.” Catherine replied as she closed her bag, watching Maria sit down beside the chair where it was.

“Does it fit me?” Maria asked, and at that Catherine found herself at an impasse. She could tell her the truth, that it really didn’t, but that would hurt her, and as much as usually Catherine wouldn’t care for that, with Maria, Catherine often found herself doing her best to not hurt her. Or she could lie and say it did, but that could lead to rumors, and the last thing Maria needed was the school’s gossipers after her.

“Well, it is weird seeing you outside your usual style, but it’s probably just a matter of time.” Catherine eventually replied, sitting beside her and putting her bag at her feet.

“Ah.” Maria replied, staring at her knees for a moment before looking back up. “You know, you can just tell me if you don’t like it. I want your honest opinion, not compliments, although I do appreciate those.” She continued with a soft laugh.

“Maria, I’m being honest. It’s not normal, but just because I’m not used to seeing you like this. Doesn’t mean it looks bad.” Catherine reinforced, but even she could tell Maria wasn’t buying it.

“Yeah. Right.” Maria chuckled dryly, then stood up. “Cath, if you’re gonna baby me, then you can cut that shit out right now, because I am not gonna put up with it.”

Catherine stared at her for a moment, then stood up as well. “Alright then. I think it looks terrible. Not the outfit itself, the outfit is good, but it looks terrible on you specifically.” She huffed softly. “Satisfied?”

Maria stared at her for a moment, then looked away, screwed her eyes shut, then opened them again and looked back up. “And why do you care, anyways? It’s not like it’s any of your business!”

“Oh for fu- Because this isn’t the Maria I know, and it certainly isn’t the one I fell in love with!” It was one of those times where, had Anne been there, Catherine was sure she’d murmur “Oooo, she angry…” to herself- something that happened fairly often when Catherine lost her control over what she said. Thankfully, Anne wasn’t there, because that little heat-of-the-moment confession would’ve earned her a week of teasing all on it’s own. Hell, it had been enough to silence the both of them.

“You- you’re in love with me?” Maria eventually whispered, and Catherine quickly turned around.

“I have to go.” She stated simply, but before she could grab her bag, Maria grabbed her wrist.

“No you don’t. You’re not avoiding your feelings this time, missy.” She stated calmly, more of an order than anything else, and although with anyone else she would have ignored them, she listened, sitting down where she had once been, with Maria sitting beside her shortly after.

“So, you love me?” Maria asked, leaning forward slightly and looking at her. Catherine nodded, still staring at the ground, and Maria glanced at the ground herself. “That’s kind of a sudden revelation. Nice to know I was right though.”

“Excuse me?” Catherine perked up at this, looking at her.

“Well, yeah. You act like you’re fine, and everyone else might think so too, but I’ve known you since kindergarten. I noticed.” Maria explained, then chuckled, a small blush crossing her cheeks. “To be honest, I’m glad to know it’s mutual.” She added quietly, barely a murmur yet louder than an explosion.

And by God did it feel like an explosion once Catherine processed those words. She likes me back. That was all she could think about, and so she made it a point of taking a second to recollect her thoughts.

“I understand if you don’t want to be in a relationship though.” Maria added. “Sometimes you’re just, not ready.” “No, no, I do, it’s just-” Catherine sighed softly, fingers tapping rhythmically on the armrest of her seat. “I’ve never been in a relationship before. Besides Henry, but- he doesn’t really count. And I don’t want to make things awkward.” She eventually muttered. If she couldn’t speak to Maria about her insecurities, she couldn’t tell anyone. But she could speak to her, and she did. For Maria’s sake, as well as her own.

“Well, neither have I. We can just, go for it. See where it gets us. And if you wanna stop, we can. All you gotta do is talk to me.” Maria suggested, and Catherine smiled gently at her.

“Well, I suppose you’re right.” She murmured, and Maria perked up at this. She leaned over to give her a hug, which Catherine gladly reciprocated, and even after pulling away they stayed close to each other, like there was something else to be talked about.

Catherine cupped her cheek, running her thumb down to join with the rest of her fingers. “Can I, um…”

Maria laughed at her hesitation, then nodded. “Go ahead, you big dork.”

“Am not.” She mumbled in reply, before gently pulling her in for a kiss.

It was light. As she expected, for some reason. And calm. It sent a bunch of emotions sparking inside of Catherine’s mind, but she decided to ignore them for the time being and focus on the beautiful girl sitting in front of her, kissing her.

Maria was the first to pull away, albeit reluctantly. “That was… wow.”

“Agreed.” Catherine murmured. And then she sighed. “So, what are we?”

Maria hesitated, looking away for a moment. “I’d… like to be able to call you my girlfriend, if that’s alright with you.”

Catherine giggled, which happened rarely, all things considered, so Maria staring didn’t faze her much. “That was going to be my suggestion, so I am perfectly fine with that.”

Maria laughed, then hugged her again, resting her head on her chest. “So, we’re dating?” Catherine nodded, and Maria smiled contently and snuggled closer. “‘Dating’. I like the sound of it.”

Catherine looked at her fondly. She’d been scared of letting her in, of letting Maria see her for who she was- just a mess barely contained behind a well practiced facade. But it had gone well. She was happy about that, as much as she wasn’t one for outwardly show it.

“This style was Anne’s idea, you know?” Catherine tilted her head slightly, and Maria giggled- Jesus, she sounded adorable. “Yeah- she said it’d get you to notice me. I’m going back to my usual style tomorrow though. Kind of sucks that I have to let my hair grow again, but I like it like this as well.”

“You could’ve just said something, you know?”

“Ah, yes, because Miss Catherine “Was About To Leave After Confessing To Me” of Aragon would listen.” Maria replied sarcastically, then sighed. “But in all seriousness, I was… scared. That you’d think I’m not good enough, not pretty enough, not mature enough. Just, not enough in general. I was scared of what you actually think when you saw me.”

Oh. Well, that was something. “Mi princesa, you need not worry yourself over that. You’re more than enough for me, because you’re you. We’re polar opposites, we help balance each other out. That’s a good thing.”

Maria looked up, then just smiled and snuggled closer. “Muchas gracias, mi cielo.” Catherine smiled softly at the pet name- it meant “my heaven,” if memory served her right. She held her tighter, taking a glance at her wrist to check the time before deciding that heading home could wait a little longer, especially now that test season was over.

“De nada, mi sirenita.”

#six the musical #catherine of aragon #maria (on the drums)#writing #maragon

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quicklyseverebird · 5 years

Text

Adoption arguements

I am posting the full history of this conversation to give context, and leaving off the name of the speaker because I don’t want this to be a hatchet job or have it look like I want this person hassled. Ultimately the position is what I want to address, not the person, who is undoubtedly sincere.But sincerity doesn’t mean right. This came about from a post discussing the value of adoption where this individual pointed out many adoptees have complaints. I choose to do this this way mostly because I don’t want to feel limited by the PM system, and because I have very strong feelings following this exchange.

Them:

If you can, check out the following links to see what I mean. https://twitter.com/DebbieGarratt/status/1188565960061378560?s=19 https://twitter.com/DebbieGarratt/status/1188585006311989248?s=19 https://twitter.com/DebbieGarratt/status/1188592298021404674?s=19 Also, their living status doesn't outweigh adoptees' complaints about their adoptions if they're almost 4x more likely to attempt suicide.

And this too: https://adoptionsurveysblog.wordpress.com/2017/10/14/results-in-adult-adoptee-perceptions-in-closed-adoption/

[for reference, the twitter posts says this]:

Me:

I'm a little bit confused as to what you are debating? That adoption carries hardship and some mental trauma? Sure. Life has that too. Would it be better if adoption took place within the family? Of course! I think anyone would agree with that so long as family isn't abusive or drug ridden. I HATE what that woman said in the twitter. What kind of monster do you have to be to say that to a child? Talk about causing mental trauma... And no, the fact that they are alive definately outweighs any other factor. Unless you're going to argue that a higher percentage of suicide means they are better off dead to begin with? If so, will you advocate for the death of transgender people who have suicide rates 20 x the national average? That's absurd. Adoption comes with hardship, absolutely. hardship increases chances of suicide, matter of fact. I would like to see those graphs plotted against a random selection of the population to see how they compare to norms. I didn't happen to see the 4x figure. but then I'm trying to get to bed now, lol. I'm just confused as to what your position is. Abortion is better than adoption?

Them:

No, I am a pro-lifer and so is Debbie and some of these adoptees. We just don't think that claiming another person's child as your own is a beneficial or necessary way to care for a child from a crisis pregnancy. It's because many pro-lifers believe that it is that many adoptees are turned off by the pro-life movement. Legal guardianship is a good way to take in a child who doesn't have any relatives who aren't willing or able to care for them, but adoption is not necessary and can and often does cause a lot of the trauma that's described in those links. As for what kind of monster would say that to an adoptee, it's the same kind of monster who will say to a homosexual, "that 'love is love' and 'born this way' lines are nothing more than propaganda and I was a fool to believe otherwise". This is what adoptees will say because they know this first-hand and they know that they're far from alone in this.

Me:

I just...I can't fathom ever saying that kind of thing to a child. Talk about destroying a child's confidence and self image and making them suicidal. I can't think of a single child that line could ever help. The lines to a homosexual are bad because they are wrong. Telling an adoptee they are special is not only kind, it is also true. After all, they ARE special. Each one is special to God, and each one is made special by the love of others for them. They WERE chosen, literally! To say to a child, "no, you were unwanted and not special, but that's ok, you're not less than anyone else..." I mean, that literally sends two opposite messages. I don't know if you are a Christian, but God himself says that we, as believers are adopted sons and daughters of God. The term is applied to us. And once again, if there is someone in the family that could take them in, that's great. We agree on that, certainly. And I believe the courts do as well. That's a form of adoption, in fact. But if they can't, then adoption outside the family would be the next step. Any family will have its issues, but I believe adoption is a net positive outcome situation. I don't...I just don't understand what you are fighting against.

Them:

You're misunderstanding what we're talking about. The grown adoptees are not saying to an adoptee that he/she isn't inherently special or chosen. They're saying to him/her that his/her parents didn't adopt him/her for those reasons, but because it was their last resort after trying to have children of their own. They're pointing out the selfish and covetous reasons for adopting a child that have little (if anything) to do with the child's best interests at heart. That's the reality with many adoptive parents and adoptees are sick of them trying to pretend otherwise. As for what we're fighting against, you're confusing taking in a child and caring for him/her to always mean adoption, but that's not the case. Adoption, as it is defined in the adoption community, is only one way of doing it. Another way to do it is with legal guardianship even if the child isn't related to the family. The difference between that and adoption is that adoption involves the extra step of the family severing the child's ties with his/her original family and claiming them as their own. That is the thing that adoptees and their allies find problematic and unnecessary and different from biblical adoption (which only involves adults being adopted for inheritance purposes) and that's what we're fighting against. Despite what adoptive parents and adoption agencies will tell you, blood ties are important because they make up a huge part of a person's origins and identity. It's one thing to choose or be chosen as part of a spiritual family, but it's another thing to completely severe ties with your original family to try to replace them with someone else. God wants us to honor our parents, including our biological parents, and that's really hard to do when our connections with them have been cut in all but DNA and our blood ties have been rendered insignificant.

Me:

Ok, you've given me a lot to think about and I believe I understand a little better what your position is, but before I reply, I need you to answer a couple questions to help me understand better how to do so. Were you adopted? Do you have children?

Them:

Neither, but I do know people in and outside my family who were teen/single moms and some people in real life who were adopted. And I used to have that pro-adoption mindset, until I saw some things that helped me understand what adoptees must feel about their parents rejecting/abandoning them. And not long after, I started doing research and reading a lot of testimonies from adoptees and bio moms (who are not always mutually exclusive, BTW) about the trauma that they've experienced from the relinquishment. There are whole blogs about it on Facebook and all over the Internet with a bunch of testimonies from writers, followers, and commenters. You can Google them and see what they have to say. And when you do, please just listen to them instead of trying to argue with them about adoption because they've already been through that and they're sick of it. There's also scientific research about it with biology and social science fields that you can also Google. Also, take note that just because some adoptee may seem happy with their adoptions doesn't mean that they actually are. They might actually be hiding their true feelings, in denial about it, or not having processed the trauma that they experienced at a young age. Many of the dissatisfied adoptees that I've heard from were once in that position.

Ok, deep breath.

First off, I think you are over-simplifying things enormously. And I think you fail to keep things in perspective. Are there bad parents, whether they adopt or not? Yes. Do some people adopt for the wrong reasons, or because they have no other option? Yes. Do some people have kids of their OWN for the wrong reasons? Yes. I think you are so focused on this one aspect of family life that you fail to remember that there are $****ty people everywhere. That parents can mess up, that kids can get hurt, no matter how they became a part of a family. Everything you say about adoptee kids above, can be said by natural children. You speak about how many websites there are from adopted kids talking about their hardships. Did you ever check to see how many websites there are about natural children talking about their families? Heck, that’s practically a rite of passage and a badge of honor these days for kids to complain about how much their families messed them up. If you wanted to make some kind of definitive statement about the value of adoption, you need to compare it to a baseline, which I don’t see that you have.

Now, I agree with you that separating kids from their families is a hardship. Would it be better for them to be “adopted” (by whatever form, or however you want to call it, becoming a part of a new set of guardians) within their extended family so they retain a sense of their roots? Certainly. However, that is not always possible, or even desirable for a multitude of factors. Would you force the family to keep a child they didn’t want for the hypothetical value you think it would gain in being part of such a family? I would hope not. I think you oversimplify the types of adoption there are too. Not everything is closed. I have friends who adopted a child through the foster system that regularly sees his biological grandparents, even though the parents didn’t want him. There is a whole spectrum of adoption formats, each having their own unique dynamics and struggles.

Now I also agree with you that adopted kids are likely to have some unique struggles of their own. Some hardships that natural children aren’t going to have. Some will be unique to their circumstances, such as feelings of abandonment and issues of self worth because of their birth mother giving them up. Some will be due to the genetics or condition of their birth. You talk about adopted kids having a suicide rate 4x higher than the norm. Assuming that’s true, there are other factors at work here that could contribute to this apart from them just being “adopted.” Many women who give up their babies have medical, genetic, mental or drug issues that lead to their not only giving up the child, but having it in the first place. How many adoptee kids are born with damage due to their mother’s drug or alcohol use? How many kids are given up because they themselves have medical issues their parents don’t want to deal with? My pastor adopted a daughter who has had lifelong struggles with medical issues almost certainly due to her mother’s lifestyle and who was surrendered for adoption in part because of those medical issues. These things are present in a higher concentration among adoptees than the general public, which itself would lead to a higher risk of mental illness and suicide. You are only looking at one factor, adoption, and making a simplistic correlation: If X is with Y than Y is caused by X, ignoring factors A, B, C and Z.

Once more I want to freely admit that people can adopt for the wrong reasons. Absolutely true. But, how many people have babies for equally wrong reasons? Which child has it better: the one who was adopted by a loving family because mom was a crack addict and got knocked up by her pimp, or a child conceived and kept by the biological mother so she could collect child support from the baby daddy? Chances are, over all, the adopted child has it better. While there is value in knowing where you come from, good or bad (think about the huge popularity of ancestry.com and similar sites, even if knowing your ancestors came from 20 different countries has no meaningful effect on your day to day life), it is not a magical panacea that cures all things. Often, that knowledge can be just as damaging, or moreso, than ignorance is. Substitute “child” for “adoptee” in your comments above and the result would be equally true. Not to mention you fail to consider the dynamic of “The Review.” When you’re looking to purchase an item online, you will check the reviews to see what people think. The problem here, is that, statistically, the only people who tend to comment are the ones who either had a GREAT experience with it and want to share, or the people who had a horrible experience and want to vent. The vast majority don’t bother and continue on with their lives. Only the vocal ones are seen and noted. Its why anecdotal evidence is meaningless. Now your statistical data has some value, but without a comparison to a control, it’s useless. Some 30% or so of them have considered suicide in the past. Ok, but what % of people in general consider suicide at some point in their life? I did myself, and I’m not an adoptee.

Now to get to the issue that has me fired up. That quote by Debbie and your claim that telling kids “the truth” that they aren’t special has some value. Now I understand that what you mean is, telling kids they weren’t adopted BECAUSE they were special. But saying that to a child, and telling them they were adopted because they weren’t wanted by their parents, and the adopted parents wanted them because they couldn’t have kids of their own is….is…

I want to be clear here. I am not using hyperbolic language. I am not trying to be dramatic. I am giving my diagnosis of such an approach, as a mother with a teen daughter.

This. Is. Evil.

And I don’t mean that in a nebulous, general sense. I mean, telling that to a child, any child, at any age, or even an adult, is doing the literal Devil’s work. This is beyond despicable, beyond selfish. This is wicked, horrible, evil and cruel.

Now you and Debbie couch it in terms of, “well it’s just the truth, give up the fairy tale.” No. You are missing the point entirely. Even if everything you said is technically true, and they were given up because their parents were horrible people, and they were adopted by horrible people, you’re still wrong. Someone is not made special because of who gave birth to them or who adopted them. They aren’t made special by their family. Every single woe you declare present in the life of an adopted child would be made worse by them hearing such a statement.

Now before you respond with indignation and outrage, saying “but what we really mean is…” I want you to think about how this would sound if said to a non-adopted child. Because in large part it can be. Everything Debbie said could be applied to many children:

“You aren’t chosen, you aren’t special. You were born even though your parents didn’t want you, couldn’t afford you, or were forced to.” You can even riff off of this same idea with, “You were just born because your parents forgot to wear a condom, or Mommy was trying to get Daddy to marry her, or they were drunk one night, etc, therefor you aren’t special.” Same exact energy.

If I said that to a child from the inner city, living with his single mother, you would be horrified. It doesn’t matter if I followed it up with a: “Oh by the way, you’re not less than anyone else, you aren’t here because of a sin and you deserve to be here.” The only thing you or that child is going to hear and remember is the first part, and it, quite frankly, refutes and negates anything said in the second half. Saying that to a child will scar them. Because, in fact, that child IS special, regardless of the circumstances of its birth. And it quite likely is wrong anyways, since it’s based on a host of simplistic assumptions.

Seriously now, you talk about the hardships adoptees face due to their circumstances and you honestly believe telling a child, or even an adult, who is already struggling with self worth and their identity, what Debbie says, is going to help them? Are you insane? If someone is struggling with depression, will telling them they aren’t special, but buck up anyways, is going to help? Will it help someone who is part of a population with 4X the suicide rate? Will it help anyone?

The answer is no. Because it is a lie framed as a “brutal/honest truth,” and to say it to anyone, especially a child, is literally evil. Even if it WERE true, as the Bible says, “speak the truth in love.” There is no love in that statement. Adoptees face many struggle, by your own arguments. You aren’t helping.

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isitovers · 5 years

Note

1) Hi Fiona, I’m back for my chapter 2 review! And I have to say, this is probably my favorite chapter of the entire story (keep in mind I’m probably going to say that about all the chapters from here on out). So there are three things from this chapter that I mainly want to talk about and I’m going to save my favourite for last. So first of all in this chapter I love that we get to see a little bit more of Harry’s job and his work life.

2) We see it first with Chiffon which is done so well because we not only see how great Harry is with her but we also get to see more of how the magazine actually works and what he actually writes. The facade idea is really cool too. We also get to see a bit more of his relationship with his other coworkers. He seems to have a good relationship with Camryn, most likely due to him helping her out in chapter 1. He goes for drinks with Eric and Jared sometimes

3) (btw I really love his friendship with Jared). But most importantly I love how you set up his relationship with Mallory. I really think you did such a good job with it Fiona, because I don’t think it’s something I picked up on when I first read Home. But it’s so clear to me that Mallory had some serious feelings for Harry. At first I thought it was just a mutual attraction kind of thing but through a lot of little things you do it’s easier to see that she would want something more.

4) The little happy smile she has when Harry says he loves her (in a joking way), the fact that she came into the break room all the time for coffee when Harry was there. And the thing is, Harry picks up on it too. And he might kind of have a connection with her but he doesn’t really like her in a romantic way. It’s just really good set up for things that happen later. Secondly, we get to see Harry bonding more with Taylor’s friendship group so that he’s more than just Taylor’s friend.

5) We know that he’s been going out with them more. He helps out Teo out with his shoot. He’s being invited to a friend’s sibling’s birthday party (lol can’t wait for that). And most importantly, he’s bonding more with Karlie and thus finding out more and more information about Taylor. She doesn’t let out a whole lot of info this chapter but it does a good job of cementing Karlie’s place in the story as the character who kind of pushes things along.

6) There isn’t much Sam in this chapter but from his one scene we get the picture that even if they’re both playing nice they both have the understanding that they don’t quite like the other. Ok, so thirdly is of course Harry and Taylor’s relationship and this chapter does such a good job at showing so many different things about their relationship and how it’s moving. I mean we’ve gotten the idea that Harry has fallen and he’s fallen hard.

7) But there’s also a few clues that Taylor might be heading in the same direction. I mean why does she spend so much time with him? Why does she want to look after him when he’s sick? Why does she care so much about making a good impression on his mum? Why does she take her shirt off and let him take pictures of her?? (Believe me I’m gonna talk more about that). Yes, part of it is just her personality but there’s also something more there.

8) Another thing that amps up this chapter is THEIR GODDAMNED SEXUAL TENSION!! LIKE HOLY SHIT!! Harry can’t go five minutes without getting a hard on. In that opening scene, when he’s trying to talk himself out of jacking himself off to the thought of her I literally die. Because I agree with him. It is creepy to do that to the thought of a friend but at the same time I love it so much. Poor boy is just so horny and he does have to listen to them fuck fairly regularly.

9) And then afterwards all he can notice is her boobs and and her legs and I’m dying of embarrassment for him. None of that though is as good as the scene in her apartment. I mean sure at first they’re just innocently drawing on each other but before you know it he’s drawing on her ribcage, then she’s taking her shirt off and he’s taking pictures, then she’s just walking around without her shirt on AND I’M DYING!! Poor Harry. I mean Taylor had to know what she was doing.

10) This is where morally, it gets kind of iffy I think. Because I mean she could be doing these kind of things with her other friends but probably not in such a flirty way. Also the scene where Harry comes to sleep in Taylor’s bed is one of my favourites. It is so funny but also so heated. I love it. Harry thinking about how much better he would fuck Taylor than her boyfriend and giving himself a hard on while she’s sleeping next to him is so wrong but also so good!

11) I love it and honestly just reading it gives me blue balls (I’m a girl lol). The end to the chapter is also great. ‘I sleep naked,’ will certainly give Miss Swift something to think about during the day. Ok, this it. Sorry, it got so long I just have a lot of thoughts lol . Also I haven't edited so sorry if it makes no sense.

omg this is so long and I'm living!! this is exactly the sort of thing I wanted when it came out!

okay so again I was concerned that the work parts wouldn't be so interesting for readers who only wanted them but I thought it was important to show more about harry's life and what it's like in this au. I don't know how magazines really work so I just did what I always do: make things up and sound confident about it even when internally I'm like ???? also I'm glad you liked the theme thing because I actually sat down and wrote a whole list of possible themes at the time I was trying to get into planning at a time when I was kind of stuck, as well as a bunch of characterisation questions that I don't know if they actually helped but would be fun to go back and read

jared was the friend I felt like he really needed, meanwhile mallory was a bit of fun for me that also make it more realistic. because hello! a cute brit living in new york? there's no way someone doesn't have a thing for him! so I tried to weave that in as an extra plot that would hopefully make things more interesting

being a part of a friendship group outside of work was also important for him because, going from all his uni friends to a place where he was on his own, it helped him feel more like he belonged. I wanted to have him get along well with the others since even if things never happened with taylor, at least he would still have people in his life who made new york enjoyable and worthwhile

not featuring sam a lot hints at the amount of time they spend alone together and that it means something. sure they're neighbours and it's convenient and they get along well together but maybe it's a little too well. since it's only making his feelings for her grow and become harder to deal with (pun intended). which okay all the sexual tension was so much fun to work on and I regret none of it!! she shouldn't have been so flirty with him and he needed to control himself but where would be the fun in that? I made him suffer and it was worth it

#sorry for the delayed reply!#i read this on my way to work yesterday morning (which i needed!) and wanted to wait til i could write a coherent response #and by the time i got home that was never gonna happen #but anyways i loved this tysm!!!#anonymous #answered

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justfangstvdto · 6 years

Text

Open Coffin | Chapter 17: “Never Be Afraid Of Darkness”

Pairing: Kol x SalvatoreSister!Reader

Chapter Summary: (flashback chapter) A look back in time to the reader's adventures when she first arrived in New Orleans following Mae's invitation to join her organization.

Warnings: not necessarily crucial to the story ( This chapter is skippable but you might miss a few references in future chapters),

Word count: 2998

Tags & Author Note at the bottom. Feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

Open Coffin Masterlist

Your name: submit What is this?

New Orleans 1913

The city is buzzing like nothing you have ever seen before. Music as far as the ear can hear, topless cars driving by without rush, every corner different than the one before and people as carefree as the wind - it's truly magnificent. New Orleans is at ease beating with his own heartbeat uncanny from the cities you stepped foot in.

“I knew you would make the right decision.” Her voice reaches you first before you can even see her descending among the crowd.

Unlike the first time you met, close to a week ago people don't seem to avoid her. They don't cross the streets, they don't stare, they just move past her, not fazed by anything. She seems to be much more at ease here.

She´s home.

And that cradles the green-eyed monster within yourself. Especially now that you´ve been on your own for the last months.

“That was fast, you do have eyes and ears everywhere.” You say, more or less impressed by how far information travels for someone like her.

“And now you do too, considering you´re willing to join us.” She says, your gaze drifting by her, which she seems to take as a sign of indecisiveness “Not to worry, you do not have to stay if you don't like it.”

“I'm here, aren't I?”

“Follow me then.”

She leads you along St. Peters street as you could gather from the street sign.

A cinnabar- orange colored building stands taller than the others on the intersection, it´s multiple floors creating a shadow that's drowning out the daylight on the street. In one of the windows of said house, a figure stands, presumably a man judging by the top hat. The mystery man lingers for but a moment before he closes the curtains.

“I would stay away from that house. Nothing but trouble.” Mae says, returning to your side.

You didn't even notice you stopped walking.

“This is your first time in the crescent city, correct?” She asks looking over her shoulder, and you answer with a nod “ Then I´ll have to give you a tour sometime. You ain't gonna find nobody better to show you around than me. I´ve been here since the very first day, laying down the first stone in Spring 1718.”

1718...that would make her close to 200 years, if not much older.

She crosses the street in a hurry, greeting what looked like traders in front of a shambled bar, the dirt crawling up the cracked walls fading with the orange bricks. You look up to catch a glimpse of the sign above the door, but it's empty. Strange. There seems to be no name set for the bar yet.

When Mae opens the door, the smell of spilled spirits, cigars and old wood dances around you, seeping into every pore. She greets several people sitting on tables, some with revolvers on the table, some reloading them with wooden bullets, others so preoccupied with their gambling they don't even bother to look up.

Mae continues through an archway and halts in front of yet another door, knocking against it in an alternating pattern. The small opening on the top is pulled back, a pair of eyes looking through them, their color not recognizable by the dim lighting.

“Lots of secrecy for someone that recruits people on the streets.” You say, just as the door snaps open, a woman on the other end holding the door open for you to step through.

“Believe it or not, we´re not the most favored bunch in this community. Or anywhere else really.” She says, walking into the open courtyard-like room, the ceiling beams high up her head “Welcome to our HQ.”

Several heads turn at your and Mae´s arrival, curious eyes scanning you up and down, a collective habit as it seems. The walls are made of patched up bricks that stretches out to the entire length of the room. The edged staircase on the left is accompanied by a dark red wallpaper, the sound of a lone guitar player in the back bouncing off of them.

It all has a shambled feel, which actually is much homier than you'd anticipated.

“I can give you the grand tour later if you want. But this precious one is our training area, gotta know how to defend yourself if you´re gonna have a run in with the big dogs.”

The fighting area is empty, but the scratched and slightly cracked floor is evident enough that fights must occur regularly.

“So that's what you're doing here? A fight club?” You ask her, trailing your fingers along the improvised stringed fighting area boundaries.

“I wish. But no. People come to us when the mortal or supernatural law fails and they need someone to take out the trash.”

Take out the trash, huh? How very inviting.

“You´re hired guns then?” You ask, the revolvers and the all over somewhat brute environment making much more sense. Not that you´d have any prejudices, of course not, but this is different than what you've expected.

The question is, is it different good or different bad?

“You could say that. Though, our currency, however, is not money, it´s blood, magical components and most importantly information. Gotta keep all species happy.”

“All species? There are witches, vampires AND werewolves living under one roof?”.

You never heard of such a thing. There has always been a mutual segregation among the species, how come it seems to work here only?

“Granted we lack a few in the werewolf department, but yes, we´re abiding the ancient rules. We´re one big dysfunctional deadly family. You´ll fit right in.” Mae gives you a wink and continues on to another bar counter.

“Howdy boss. What can I do you for?” A dirty blond-haired man asks her, drooling with a southern drawl. The dresshirt he´s wearing is crinkled and greased and the suspenders are slightly off. All in all, he doesn´t seem to care much about it, unlike the somewhat uptight men you´d see dressed outside of these walls.

If your mother would be here now, she´d go ballistic. There was nothing worse than a wrinkled dress-shirt. She would always make sure there were no wrinkles anywhere to be found after you pressed the clothes in the slick stones.

“Howdy? Seriously? Where are we, the wild west?” You mutter, the words slipping out of your mouth before you have a chance to catch them.

“Aren't you precious?” The man laughs loudly, a few tousled strands of hair falling over the side of his face which he ruffles back with his palm “Name´s Shank.” He says and extends his other hand.

“Y/N Salvatore.” You reply and shake his hand.

“Ah, the girl I heard so much about.” He says, his pale grey eyes lingering “I ain´t gonna lie, you´re much scarier in person.”

“Me scary? I think you got the wrong person.”

He cocks the side of his eyebrow and knowing smiles as if he's see something lingering within that you couldn't.

“Care for a drink?” Shank asks, not dwelling on his silent discovery.

“It's already noon, so why not?” You shrug your shoulders “Bourbon, neat. Please.”

“A Bourbon girl, I like you already. Coming right up.”

Shank generously fills the glass and sets it on the table all the while preparing another one, presumably for Mae. He slides her glass over the slick surface, landing directly in her hand. The liquid filling the crystal glass is as crimson red as her lipstick.

“Now to your potential mission. You remember what I told you?” Mae asks and you nod “You're gonna observe him.” She says and slides a drawn portrait over the wooden table. “Kol Mikaelson, part of the original family, the first vampires ever created. He's the black sheep of the family and most likely cooking up a revenge plan. I need you to observe him, watch where he goes what he does and who he talks to. He's dangerously reckless, so you have to proceed with caution.”

“Black sheep of the family and dangerous? Right up my ally.”

“Thought as much. With your family history and all.”

There it is again. Her strange knowledge of you and your life. How long has she been following you?

“You seem to know an awful lot about me when I know nothing about you.” You say, swirling the bourbon in your glass, avoiding to look at her.

“Then shoot. What do you want to know?” She asks, ready to receive any question.

You contemplate on several questions that are worth asking, but one in particular interests you the most, especially because you just lost yours; Family.

“These people here are your family, right? Your chosen one at least. What happened to your real one?”

“Hitting the hard questions I see.” Mae sighs “Well, my family and I had a mutual understanding. They wanted me gone and I wanted them dead. So I killed them.”

She killed her own family. Who knows what else she's capable of? Perhaps it was a mistake coming here. You look around, searching for any type of exit you could slip away easily when nobody's watching. But there is none. The only exit is the one you came in, walking by several filled tables.

“You killed your own family? Just like that?” You ask her, having no choice but to continue listening to her story.

“Not entirely voluntarily. I was falsely charged with an act of crime that only someone of my kind could commit. And me being the only freak in the village, they blamed me and destined me to be hanged.”

“I assume your village has never seen a vampire before?”You say, the word village indicating that she must be much older thanas you first thought.

“No. I wasn't a vampire then.” She shakes her head, her I was what people call a shiphoner - a witch without an own source of power. My people, or coven as you could say, only housed a few of us, but by then I was the only one left.”

“But yet you´re still here, so I assume they didn't go through with it?”

“Oh, no they did. Their hatred of the unknown was proof enough. I was dangling in the wind, with death gripping my feet.” She stops to take a sip of her crimson liquid “ But unlucky for them the ropes were dripping with power so I used them to free myself. And then I burned everyone. Guilty, innocent, old and young. I turned every witness to ashes.”

The memory of that event seems to rattle her. She tightens her grasp around the glass while her face remains unchanged. Lucky for you, you´ve always been paying attention to the glimpsed other people would ignore. A cruel present your father's violent outbreaks have gifted you.

“That's terrible.” You say, just imagining the cries of the dying and rush of guilt after the rage had calmed send a shiver down your spine.

“I ain't no saint, Y/N. Nobody here is.” She replies.

“No, I mean that they just blamed you for it, because you weren't like them.”

She seems to be surprised at your words as if she expected you to judge her for actions that were fueled by betrayal. But you´re not innocent either, so why would you judge her based on one of presumably many mistakes? You didn´t burn an entire coven, sure, but you still have blood on your hands. Much more than you´d ever thought possible when you first turned.

“The world is a terrible place, Y/N. But nothing much has changed in that regard, has it? Even the mortals segregate when they should reunite.”

She´s got a point. There is a war seething among humans right now. Another nasty comment, another dirty look might be the final straw Reuniting instead of segregation is the only solution. On the supernatural and human side.

“That is why I set the foundation for the empire you see today. We are united here. Vampires, Werewolves, witches, sometimes even mortals. You don't have to be ashamed of who or what you are.” She says and hits the exact point you´d always struggled with; being ashamed of what you are. A blood-sucking monster.

There is power and most of all truth in her words, a power that for once seems graspable and truth that should be as clear as day, yet for most, it's overshadowed by a casing of prejudice and taught hatred. You haven't met anyone as free from said casing in a long time. Perhaps ever.

A few hours have passed since you arrived at the Headquarters, and you spend your time roaming the halls before you found yourself in the extraordinarily organised library. There are files upon files of vampires reaching back to the earliest supernatural creatures - the Mikaelson family. All files of the Mikaelson siblings either had a drawn portrait or photograph. All but the infamous Klaus Mikaelson.

Perhaps that's a good thing. You heard terrible tales and you would rather stay away from him as far as possible.

You flip through Kol´s file, interested to learn as much about him as possible before agreeing to your mission. Besides his handsome features, he seems to have travelled a similar path away from his siblings.

As you flip to another page, a small piece of paper appears, floating from the high ceiling. It lands directly on the page. It reads:

Meet me in my office

-Mae

You close the files, carrying them with you to her office.

When you open the partly glass door, the smell of burned paper escapes the room.

“Everything okay?” You ask.

“Oh, Y/N..I...got rid of a few belongings. Burning bridges, closing doors - however you would like to call it.” She smiles, her usual striking hazel eyes dull and overshadowed with sadness.

A folded picture on the floor catches your attention, the edges torn and the image on the topside faded.

“I think you missed something.” You pick the picture from the floor, without looking at it handing it to her.

“Oh. That's not…thank you. ”She says, her gaze flickering to the photograph in her hand. She traces her fingers along the outlines of herself next to Klaus at the opening of the Opera House in 1859. She looks at the camera while Klaus looks at her, the image frozen in time.

“Must be a special picture.” You say, pulling out of the trip down memory lane.

“It was. Now it's simply a fading photograph, a reminder that the person you´d take a bullett for can easily be the person pulling the trigger.”

She clears her throat, shaking off whatever bothered her about the picture and hands you a stack of cards with a crow printed on the front, contrasting with the light paper.

“This is our calling card. Leave this at any of your potential missions and everyone knows it was us that did the deed.” She explains

“A crow, huh?”

“That's what the locals call us. Crows or bringers of death. Appropriate don't you think?”

You turn the card around, reading the Latin phrase that´s written on the back “What does this mean?”

“Not fluent in Latin I see? It means “never be afraid of darkness” - an old sentiment I thought fitting.”

Never be afraid of darkness. If only someone had told you that all the times you were locked in the basement for protecting your brother, maybe it would´ve brought you some comfort. But still as silly as these simple words may sound, there is indeed comfort in them.

“You know, I don't get it. Out of what reason do you want me to follow this Kol Mikaelson? There as to be a reason?”

“I was close to his family. And despite past grievances, I don't want to see them hurt. Kol, fairly so, has a thirst for revenge and I need to know what he's cooking up so I can interfere.” Mae says, rounding her table to lean on the front “I know this all might be a lot, but give us a chance if you dare. You won't regret it.”

“I'll think about it.” You reply, not knowing if you should stay, despite how eerily comfortable you already feel. Perhaps it will clear up in time.

“That's all I ask.” She says “ Now how about I show you around? There's a lot to see in our Crescent City.”

The feeling of a excitement washes over you as you step into the blinding heat of the day, a feeling you thought you buried long ago with your humanity. But perhaps after all the grievances in the past, especially with your brothers recently, it´s time for a fresh start. Here in New Orleans.

Maybe it was the right call coming here after all. Maybe, just maybe being surrounded by darkness doesn't seem so bad for once....

A/N: Did anyone catch what building I hinted at in the beginning? That's right, the Mikaelson Compound. But who was that at the window...hmm.. ;)

I realize that this does not really contribute to the current happenings of the story, but I felt like there should be a little more background. And I´m a sucker for flashbacks anyway.

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#kol x reader #kol mikaelson imagine #tvd imagine #the originals imagine #Kol mikaelson #tvd #the vampire diaries #the originals #open coffin

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