#than the then mobei-wang

[wildrosesayshigh3]

I just had another og Shang Qinghua thought and I am once again making it everyone else's problem. 😁 Your welcome.

How bad was An Ding peak and Cang Qiong in general for the Orginal Shang Qinghua to look at the demon who just killed his Martial Siblings and go yep I’ll serve you go life and not dip when he feel unconscious. Like what?!

Not much is known about og Shang Qinghua’s morals but I imagine he would t be that much different from a regular person in the cultivation world…. So someone with a looser set of morals to ours but not by much.

So how bad was a ding peak were someone as ambitious and self persevering as og Shang Qinghua decides to throw his lot in the demon who killed his sect siblings so quickly?

Don’t get me wrong he was probably very ambitious and rising up to the ranks of An Ding would have taken longer but I don’t think by much.

[morethanwonderful]

Introducing: The Which MXTX Character Was/Would Be Most Insufferable Online Tournament Bracket

Beginning the evening of August 23rd, 2024 (USA time), I’ll be running a tournament via tumblr polls to determine once and for all which Mo Xiang Tong Xiu web novel character was or would be most insufferable if given access to the internet.

FAQ:

Why this poll theme?

I thought it would be fun to run another big MXTX tournament bracket, since the bugpoll last year was a blast, and this was the funniest theme I could manage to think of.

Why isn't Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu in the bracket?

Given what we know about our dear Peerless Cucumber, I fear an SQQ sweep would be a foregone conclusion if I included him. Therefore, after the bracket finds a winner, I'll hold a bonus round and pit the winner against Shen Yuan to determine the true most internet-insufferable character.

What is wrong with you?

Yeah.

My goal is to hold one round per day every day for a week, but I'm contending with a full-time work schedule, so things may get slightly more stretched out than that. I'll also be splitting the first round into Round 1 Part 1 (the left side of the bracket) and Round 1 Part 2 (the right side of the bracket) to avoid spamming people's dashes with 32 separate polls in one day.

If you’d like to either search for or blacklist posts related to this event, all of mine will be tagged with “MXTX insufferapoll.”

The full list of matches is under the readmore here. Happy voting!

Round 1 Part 1:

Wen Chao vs Jin Guangshan

Quan Yizhen vs Mobei-jun

Mu Qingfang vs Ban Yue

Pei Xiu vs Jin Zixun

Xie Lian vs Jiang Yanli

Gongyi Xiao vs Lang Qianqiu

He Xuan vs Xue Yang

Lan Xichen vs Xiao Xingchen

Feng Xin vs Tianlang-jun

Wei Wuxian vs Liu Mingyan

Shi Qingxuan vs Nie Huaisang

Pei Ming vs Shang Qinghua

Jian Lan vs Qi Rong

Lan Wangji vs Song Lan

Nie Mingjue vs Liu Qingge

Mei Nianqing vs Lan Qiren

Round 1 Part 2:

Ling Wen vs Jin Guangyao

Sha Hualing vs Mo Xuanyu

Lang Ying (Present) vs Lan Sizhui

Bai Wuxiang vs Shen (Jiu) Qingqiu

Jiang Cheng vs Ning Yingying

Jin Ling vs Ming Fan

Mu Qing vs Luo "Mianmian" Qingyang

Yu Ziyuan vs Yue Qingyuan

Xuan Ji vs Qiu Haitang

A-Qing vs Yin Yu

Wen Ning vs Zhuzhi-lang

Luo Binghe vs Wang Lingjiao

Wen Qing vs Yushi Huang

Hua Cheng vs Su She

Jin Zixuan vs Shi Wudu

Ouyang Zizhen vs Lan Jingyi

Round 2:

Wen Chao vs Quan Yizhen

Mu Qingfang vs Jin Zixun

Xie Lian vs Lang Qianqiu

Xue Yang vs Xiao Xingchen

Tianlang-jun vs Wei Wuxian

Nie Huaisang vs Shang Qinghua

Qi Rong vs Lan Wangji

Nie Mingjue vs Lan Qiren

Jin Guangyao vs Sha Hualing

Lang Ying (Present) vs Shen (Jiu) Qingqiu

Jiang Cheng vs Jin Ling

Mu Qing vs Yu Ziyuan

Xuan Ji vs a-Qing

Zhuzhi-lang vs Luo Binghe

Wen Qing vs Su She

Shi Wudu vs Lan Jingyi

Round 3:

Wen Chao vs Jin Zixun

Lang Qianqiu vs Xue Yang

Tianlang-jun vs Shang Qinghua

Qi Rong vs Lan Qiren

Sha Hualing vs Shen (Jiu) Qingqiu

Jin Ling vs Mu Qing

Xuan Ji vs Luo Binghe

Su She vs Lan Jingyi

Quarterfinal:

Wen Chao vs Xue Yang

Tianlang-jun vs Qi Rong

Shen (Jiu) Qingqiu vs Jin Ling

Luo Binghe vs Su She

Semifinal:

Wen Chao vs Qi Rong

Shen (Jiu) Qingqiu vs Luo Binghe

Final:

Qi Rong vs Luo Binghe

Bonus:

Qi Rong vs Shen (Yuan) Qingqiu

[chaos0pikachu]

🥰

"A fic that gives you warm fuzzy feelings"

[soooo excited to get one of these questions hehehe]

Can I give you a couple? Is that cheating? Whatever I'm not an academic

So for ppl that like, like One Piece/zolu like me I really loved this fic, call you what? by @faggotzoro like yeah it's explicit but it's so fucking funny and it has some of the best in-char zolu for me b/c they would have cringe sex talk and the crew would somehow find out and would tease zoro about it and the ending makes me crack up every single time

I also really like all of grimsoul's zolu fics especially of dreams and tomorrows (g rated) always (t rated) & yeah, i don't know about that waiter (rated t)

I adore The Little Mermaid by @itsanidiom (e rated) b/c 1) I'm a straight up sucker for anything mermaids there's not enough mermaid aus period 2) it's for the sign which is an underrated series imo!!

Two bad cats. by orange_crushed (rated t) for word of honor like, first of all it's about xie wang and ye baiyi being transformed into cats how freaking perfect is that and then wkx and zzs have to take care of literally Thee Worst Cats I love it warm fuzzies all around

By Any Other Pen Name by Prudabaga (rated e) for any Scum Villain fans specifically for Mobei-jun/Shang Qinghua like it's so hilarious one of my fave comedy fics while still holding really true to the canon of the series. The chars don't feel out of char at all which is fun and I love the meta-ness of SQ writing essentially RPF about himself and his waifu MBJ it getting insanely popular in the demon world and MBJ being like "but you could fuck me yourself???" sad face about it brilliance

This is a deep cut but A Broken Game of Telephone by moeblobmegane (rated g) for any Nozaki Kun fans out there like this fic fits the fluffy warm fuzzies to a T more so than what I usually read

I had to bypass sooooo much one piece fanfic - just finished up wano so I've been reading a lot - unfortunately I don't have a ton of BL fandom fics but I'm open to recs

Fic Recs (Ask Meme)

[faededaway]

Characters from SVSSS (scum villain's self saving system: (character list for SVSSS)

Cang Qiong Mountain Sect

(there are 12 peaks/ as in there are 12 different groups that together make Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. Not all of them are mentioned in the novel. Some are only mentioned as a collective)

- Sect Lord : Yue Qingyuan (Zhangmen-shixiong )

Qing Jing Peak (sect that focuses on literature with martial arts and other stuff)

- Shen Yuan - Shen Qingqui (peak lord)

[our MC]

- Luo Binghe [MC of Proud Immortal Demon Way]

- Ming Fan (Shen Qingqui's disciple, Binghe's senior)

- Ning Ying Ying (calls Binghe A-Luo)

Wan Jian Peak

- Wei Qingwei (peak lord)

Bai Zhan Peak (peak that roughhouses more than others. Beat first, speak later)

- Liu Qingge (Liǔ Qīnggē, “Willow, Clear Song”)

• Role: Bai Zhan Peak Lord, Liu Mingyan’s older brother

- Ji Jue (a disciple)

- Yi Shui (a disciple)

Qian Cao Peak (healer peak)

- Mu Qingfang (木清芳, Mù Qīngfāng, “Wood, Clear Fragrance”)

• Role: Qian Cao Peak Lord

Xian Zhu Peak (the women only peak)

- Qi Qingqi (齊清萋, Qí Qīngqī, "Even, Clear Luxuriant")

• Role: Xian Zhu Peak Lord

- Liu Mingyan (柳溟煙, Liǔ Míngyān, "Willow, Drizzle Mist")

• Role: Xian Zhu Peak disciple, Liu Qingge’s younger sister

An Ding Peak (logistics peak)

Shang Qinghua (尚清華, Shàng Qīnghuá, "Still/Esteem, Clear Flower")

• Role: An Ding Peak Lord, real world penname Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky

Zhao Hua Temple

- Master Wu Chen

- Abbot Wu Wang

Huan Hua Palace

- Palace Master (I couldn't get his name, he was mostly referred as Palace Master)

- Palace princess (I couldn't catch her name either)

- Gongyi Xiao (公儀蕭, Gōngyí Xiāo, “Public Ceremony, Mournful”)

• Role: Huan Hua Palace disciple

- Qin Wanyue (秦婉約, Qín Wǎnyuē, “Graceful & Subdued”)

• Role: Huan Hua Palace disciple; Wanrong’s older sister, one of Luo Binghe’s harem members in the original novel

- Qin Wanrong

• Role: Huan Hua Palace disciple; Wanyue’s younger sister, one of Luo Binghe’s harem members in the original novel

- All Ma - a disciple

- Su Xiyan [spoiler]

San Mayou temple:

3 girls who are collectively referred to as temple sisters.

Tian Yi Monastery

Ba Qi Clan

(a smaller clan which has mid to eh levels of disciples.)

Demon world

- Mobei-Jun: Luo Binghe’s future subordinate, his excellent right hand and engine oil for committing evil deeds, murder, and mayhem (I've quoted the book here)

He's an ice king. Lord of the North side of the demon world.

- LinGuang-Jun : Mobei-jun's uncle

- Tianlang-Jun Binghe's dad. Also, he was lord of Demonworld.

- Zhuzhi-Lang: Binghe's cousin

Town folks/Others.

Jin Lin City

- Yang Yixuan, I’m the son of the owner of the Jin Zi weapons shop.

Lu Liu Border disciples

Lou Qin Border disciples

Qiu Haitang someone who knows Shen Qingqui

Madam Meiyin: a succubus/ brothel owner

[hiddenwashington]

+3 wanted connections under the cut!

[MOBEI-JUN || DYLAN WANG] is awaiting the arrival of their [OLDER HALF SIBLINGS]. If you happen to see them, they are around [VARIES] years old and look strikingly similar to [ANY FITTING FC] and happen to be from [SCUM VILLAIN’S SELF SAVING SYSTEM]. If you see them, you [DO] have to contact them. We hope they find them soon. [mobei-jun was the only son of his fathers second wife, and he and his older siblings were all in line for the throne. i’m honestly down for a lot of interpretations on their relationship, they could have been competing, one of them could have stepped down, but it ended with mobei-jun on the throne. where his siblings ended up is also p open ended, they could have died or just stuck around the northern kingdom, or even allied with linguang-jun to try and take out mobei-jun. hmu for more details!!].

[FENG XIN || XIAO ZHAN] is awaiting the arrival of their [OLDER BROTHERS]. If you happen to see them, they are around [LATE TWENTIES - EARLY THIRTIES] years old and look strikingly similar to [ANY FITTING FC] and happen to be from [HEAVEN OFFICIAL’S BLESSING]. If you see them, you [DO] have to contact them. We hope they find them soon. [feng xin was the youngest of three, a decent bit younger than his elder brothers. he was pretty content being the youngest son of a high ranking noble, as he wouldn’t need to take over any political responsibilities. he was very competitive with his brothers, and ended up being chosen to be the bodyguard for the crown prince at fourteen, after which he didn’t see them nearly as often. they died when xianle fell, not managing to escape in time when yong'an invaded].

[KRIYA DURA || FLORENCE PUGH] is awaiting the arrival of their [CRIME GANG]. If you happen to see them, they are around [VARIES] years old and look strikingly similar to [ANY FITTING FC] and happen to be from [STAR WARS]. If you see them, you [DO] have to contact them. We hope they find them soon. [this would have been a group of orphans on coruscant that kriya led when she ran from the orphanage. smugglers, bounty hunters, counterfeiters, you name it. just a bunch of feral kids doing crime that fell apart when kriya went missing and her best friend was killed].

[shijiujun]

“you know you’re singing to your headphones out loud, right” au for moshang plz sqh singing modern songs that mbj doesn't know and being hella confused 🥺

Featuring karaoke-loving Shang Qinghua who gets a bit too drunk at a Cang Qiong mountain gathering, and he goes all out. 

Or when Mobei Jun wonders why Shang Qinghua is singing about another man called Liang Shan Bo.

---

Sometimes, he thinks about his old life before he ever had the misfortune of landing in a world of his own creation, with an annoying gaming AI system of sorts hounding his every move (in the beginning) or turning up at the most inopportune times just when he thinks it’s finally gone and left him alone (more recently). 

Shang Qinghua remembers not having many friends when he was still Shang Qinghua, when ‘向天打飞机 Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky’ was still merely his writing Weibo account moniker and when he had millions of people looking up to him for his crucial contributions in writing this amazing story about his son Luo Binghe and the way he overcame all odds to become a success with a harem of gorgeous women at his feet (damn you, Peerless Cucumber bro!).

Back in those days, he lived off cup noodles and instant coffee. If he didn’t have to leave the house, Shang Qinghua would simply curl up in front of his laptop, either writing for his novel or watching shows (clears his throat) - actual shows! Chinese period dramas were his favourite, where a skilled and intelligent consort in the harem would outwit all the other women to be with her one true love, the Emperor, who falls irrevocably in love with her.

And when he got bored, he switched from the laptop to his television to engage in his second most favourite hobby - Chinese karaoke. Going out to a karaoke bar would require some level of socializing, and also a few friends so he gets more bang out of his buck from what he pays for the room, but at home? 

With advanced technology and a tiny ass microphone in either shining gold or silver, Shang Qinghua’s home entertainment system was his very own personal karaoke room, His tiny mic even had that echo-y effect on.

Shang Qinghua has a thing for classic Chinese songs - ‘The New Butterfly Dream’, ‘Liang Shan Bo and Juliet’, The Moon Represents My Heart‘ - and contemporary karaoke must-haves, like Wang Fei. For an embarrassing few days, the Chinese version of Baby Shark was a veritable earworm as well.

After transmigrating into his own story set in ancient times, where he lives without technology, Shang Qinghua would be lying if he said he didn’t miss the Internet. Laptops would be incredibly handy, and so would switches for lights, definitely indoor plumbing for toilets, and induction stoves. Phones too, that would be nice, rather than having to ‘send word’ with letters. 

Of course, there is no karaoke bar or machine for him.

Not all is bad though. At least he transmigrated to Shang Qinghua in this world as a baby, so it’s not as if he was surviving on Internet and technology one day and left to do everything manually the next day since someone was always taking care of him. Peerless Cucumber bro, of course, wasn’t as lucky, but the man has definitely taken to this world (and his son!!) like a fish to water.

And as for himself, Shang Qinghua does not need to envy Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe either, because somehow, he has gotten the man of his dreams too, even if said man was a little cruel and rude to him in the beginning.

He has the love of his life (coughs coughs) and they’re stuck in this world for the rest of his life. What more is there to want? Not to mention how his cup of instant noodles betrayed him at the last moment, resulting in his death! It is slightly safer, ironically, to be in this world instead.

All is good except... well...

===

Shen Qingqiu marvels at the sight before him, torn between wanting to step in to stop Shang Qinghua, or watch this farce unfold. 

He sometimes forgets where he, or where Shang Qinghua, who has been in this world longer than he, came from. They don’t always talk about the past when they meet, and aside from the occasional meetups, Shen Yuan is a part of him that doesn’t surface, not when he is with Luo Binghe. 

Shang Qinghua, on the other hand, grew up here, and aside from referring to Shen Qingqiu by his Weibo account name, he seems otherwise well-adjusted, no hint of modern online writer Shang Qinghua in sight. It doesn’t feel as if he misses their original world either.

This evening, however, memories of modern times slap him in the face, quite literally.

“Shizun!” Luo Binghe calls, frantic, tugging him back into his embrace out of Shang Qinghua’s way. Once Shen Qingqiu is safe in his arms, his eyes narrow at the bumbling, drunk idiot causing a scene in the dinner hall, “Shang Qinghua...”

Shang Qinghua stops where he is, and then before any one can stop him, he picks up a pair of chopsticks, brings it to his mouth, and begins bellowing his way through-

-Jay Chou’s Hair Like Snow.

“Shizun, are you alright?” Luo Binghe fusses, his hands coming up to cup Shen Qingqiu’s face when his Shizun doesn’t so much as respond to him. “Were you hurt? Did he hurt you? How’re you feeling? We’ll go back home now-”

“What is he singing?” Qi Qingqi frowns in disgust.

They all wince when Shang Qinghua attempts to hit a high note, but fails miserably.

Fuck me, Shen Qingqiu thinks, his eyes impossibly wide, who knew Airplane bro was such a karaoke fanatic?

“... maybe he is possessed by a malevolent spirit? Or perhaps this is an unidentified curse?” asks Ming Fan. 

“Or is this some new form of cultivation?” asks Ning Yingying, curious.

Yue Qingyuan, seated at the front of the dining hall, cannot help but be concerned for him as well. “Shall we call Mu-shidi to take a look at him-”

They’ve gathered for their annual meeting - a condition that Yue Qingyuan has set in place a few years ago after Luo Binghe ‘stole’ (married!) him away from Cang Qiong Peak - and although Shang Qinghua said he didn’t mind that Mobei Jun was unable to accompany him today, he spent most of the dinner drinking alcohol while in a melancholic state instead.

Who knew that Shang Qinghua was a singing drunk?!

Hence their current predicament.

At the Sect Master’s words, Shang Qinghua suddenly turns around and looks at Shen Qingqiu. HIccuping twice, he then beams, “Cucumber-”

Shen Qingqiu has never moved that fast in his life. Within a fraction of a second, he has his hand pressed over Shang Qinghua’s mouth, holding onto him from the back.

“Cucumber?” everyone choruses in confusion.

“I believe your Shang-shishu has had a little too much to drink,” Shen Qingqiu clears his throat, nodding at everyone else. “We should... send him back to Mobei. Isn’t that right, Binghe?”

His disciple, his husband, still has on an affronted, murderous look for how Shang Qinghua almost brained Shen Qingqiu with his flailing arms in his drunken fit. The moment Shen Qingqiu asks, however, his expression morphs into something so soft and full of love that everyone who sees it chokes.

“Of course,” Luo Binghe smiles, devotion apparent in his eyes. “Anything Shizun wants.”

===

The words that are tumbling out of Shang Qinghua’s mouth are entirely incomprehensible, and so are the tunes he’s humming into his ear.

Mobei Jun thought he had gotten used to Shang Qinghua’s eccentric mannerisms, and also thought he knew everything about his husband, so many years later. Shang Qinghua is mumbling Chinese alright, but none of the characters put together make any sense.

Who is Liang Shan Bo? And who the hell is Juliet?!

His mood taking a turn for the worse, Mobei Jun hoists Shang Qinghua up further on his back.

After getting so drunk, the idiot had the gall to demand for a piggy-back from the throne room to their bedroom. Mobei Jun has never once suffered such indignity in his years of living. A bridal carry? Of course, anytime. A piggy-back? As if he was some beast to be tamed? 

Well this definitely has to be a first.

While he was stewing in his thoughts, Shang Qinghua switches from that song to another one, and a stream of ‘du du du lu du lu’ emerges from his lips... AND something about... a sha yu? What the hell is that?!

Shang Qinghua lazily lifts his right hand as they approach their room, balls it into a fist and puts it to his mouth, as if he’s holding something, and whatever monstrosity Shang Qinghua is singing, his voice gets even louder.

Mobei Jun tosses Shang Qinghua off his back unceremoniously and onto the soft bed. Interrupted, Shang Qinghua blinks, his vision blurry, and is about to catch his breath and start singing again when his husband climbs in after him. Trapping Shang Qinghua with his entire weight, Mobei Jun seals his lips with a kiss.

“... My king...” Shang Qinghua murmurs in a daze, when Mobei Jun pulls back a few minutes later, his breaths coming out as short, harsh pants. “My king...”

“That’s right,” he says with a glower. “I’m your Da Wang, your husband.”

Mobei Jun doesn’t know who Liang Shan Bo is, but he’s going to make sure no other man’s name ever leaves Shang Qinghua’s lips again when they’re together.

And when his husband finally sobers up, he’s going to have a lot to answer for.

---

Songs Mentioned (YouTube Links in Comments):

The New Butterfly Dream 新鸳鸯蝴蝶梦 － A Chinese classic, sung by Huang An but done beautifully by legendary god of singing Fei Yu Qing and singing partner for the song A Yun Ga

Liang Shan Bo and Juliet 梁山伯与朱丽叶 － A Taiwanese contemporary classic of sorts by Genie Zhuo, most Chinese millennials would definitely have sang this at a karaoke once in their lives - Song is inspired by Liang Shan Bo and Zhu Ying Tai, the Chinese version of Romeo and Juliet to some extent - They both die in the end and become butterflies, so they’re also called the Butterfly Lovers.

The Moon Represents My Heart 月亮代表我的心 － ANOTHER CLASSIC CLASSIC!!!

Baby Shark (Chi. Ver) － ˆThe baby shark hype did move to China, and it’s pretty hilarious LMAO and in Chinese, shark is 鲨鱼 (sha yu) but I’m assuming that in this world, there isn’t a shark kind of animal of sorts? So Mobei Jun and everyone else except SQQ wouldn’t know what a shark is or looks like?!

Hair Like Snow 发如雪 － By Jay Chou, another classic that all Chinese millennials would have sang in a karaoke bar 

Wang Fei 王妃 － Jam Hsiao’s version is known best, and it’s pretty epic, not that anyone can reach any of the high notes in the chorus, but does that stop us from trying?!! Hell no!!!

---

Notes: My first Moshang?!! That didn’t really have a lot of Moshang time?! But thanks anon, hope this sort of works?!

[peerless-soshi]

There’s nothing I love more than wasting my life, so here’s my SV fan cast!

Luo Yun Xi as Shen QingQiu (because there's something amusing about making him THE Shizun)

Lee Soo Hyuk as Luo Binghe (he’s Korean, fine, but I like this design so much that nothing can stop me from imagining Binghe with a more foreign-looking features)

Crystal Yuan as Ning Yingying

Chen Zhe Yuan as Liu Qingge

Liang Jie as Liu Mingyan

Wang Kai as Yue Qingyuan

Lan Bo as Shang Qinghua

Zhang Ruo Yun as Mobei-Jun

Zhao Lu Si as Sha Hualing

Chen Kun as Mu Qingfang

Yang Mi as Qi Qingqi

Zeng Shun Xi as Gongyi Xiao

Zhao Li Ying as Qiu Haitang

Vin Zhang as Zhuzhi-Lang

Gao Weiguang as Tianlang-Jun

Li Chun as Su Xiyan

[thewindsofsong]

Ok ok ok!!! So last night I had a dream that I rec’ed a dmbj/svsss crossover fanfic, but never actually read the fic. Then I woke up because my cat was yowling in the middle of the night.

After talking with @1ebilcat and @merinnan for a while, I managed to flesh out a basic outline of what that fic might look like. Please know that because this is a crossover with svsss, there is papapa mentioned. several times.... (nothing actually explict is described because that would make this not a not-fic)

So one day SQQ and SQH are messing around trying to figure out what this new “unique one of a kind treasure” does when SQH accideny drops some melon seeds on it or something and it suddenly activates.

Meanwhile in dmbj world, the Iron Triangle are pretty much retired from the whole tomb raiding business, but still run Wushanju (better now that wu xie actually concentrates on running it instead of running off every week). Someone comes in with a strange artifact that they found while clearing out a deceased relatives store room they want to sell. Wu xie buys it because he’s never seen anything like it before and wants to research it.

Xiaoge gets super weird vibes from the object, but it doesn’t seem overtly menacing, so he leaves wu xie be (if wu xie is preoccupied he gets in marginally less trouble). However, when xiaoge touches the object with wu xie and Pangzi nearby, it grows a point and gives xiaoge a paper cut. The blood touches the object and it activates.

One blinding flask of light and disorienting tumble latter, they find themselves at the foot of a picturesque mountain with a gate that labels them at the foot of cang qiong mountain. They’re quickly found by the cang qiong crew and everyone is super weird out by each other. Things happen and eventually LBH crashes in and says his shizun is missing mobei-jun is there too because SQH is also missing. More communication happens and everyone realizes this is the artifact’s fault. No one knows where the artifact is.

Meanwhile SQQ and SQH wake up someone completely unfamiliar to either of them. After using magic to light things up, they see that they are in a tomb absolutely covered in different depictions of penises: there’s pictures on the walls, statues of men with WAY TOO BIG penises, sooooo many dildos. Queue SQQ immediately launching himself at SQH with a shriek of outrage because “THERE’S NO WAY THIS ISN’T YOUR FAULT YOU SHITTY HACK AUTHOR!!”

Back with the iron triangle, there’s a research montage going on as they and other CQ sect member scour the libraries for any information about the mcguffin that caused all this randomness. At some point in all of this, iron triangle go to MQF to see if he can take a look at Xiaoge regarding his memory problems. After some more research, MQF learns about an herb that could stabilize his qi and stabilize the fluctuations that cause his amnesia.

Turns out that while proper cultivation doesn’t exist in dmbj world, the Zhang family line has managed to cultivate the family line to extended life but because they’re the only ones that can (maybe due to bronze gate?) it has a lot of dangers. 

The herb needed is of course incredibly rare and only found in some horribly dangerous location. Xiaoge wants to go alone because he doesn’t want wu xie and pangzi to be in danger, but knows that they won’t be left behind. There’s some agnst had about how Xiaoge feels he’s brought pain and suffering to wu xie and pangzi, but of course neither of them are having any of it. The three of them talk about how they’ve never regretted meeting each other and how the adventures they’ve shared have brought meaning and joy into their lives. 

The three of them cobble together some hotpot and spend the night before setting off soaking their feet side by side, content and secure in their bonds with each other. Its very sweet. 

The next day, the three of them set off with LQG and LBH. Right before arriving at the location, bullshit happens and Iron Triangle get trapped in the location where the herb is located and trigger a wife plot in which papapa is the only way out. Iron triangle proceeds to have incredibly kinky marathon sex. LBH and LQG can only listen awkwardly from the boundary, not able to get through, but also not wanting to leave completely just in case something else happens. The sexual tension between LBG and LQG grows to new heights. Neither will do anything about it until SQQ is back home safe. 

After the marathon is over and iron triangle has time to actually sleep, the three of them get cleaned up with the herb in tow and head back to Cang Qiong. They get the herb to MQF who tells them it will take at least a day to prepare the pill for xiaoge to take. That night, Iron triangle has sweet, tender, affirming sex because while they all agree that while xiaoge not losing his memories every few decades is for the better, it also means that he’ll have to carry the memories of wu xie and pangzi long after they’er gone, with no hope of them ever being together again.  Xiaoge assures wu xie and pangzi that this is what he wants, to know that at least at some point, he loved and was loved, that he had a connection to this world and that his life has meaning beyond his obligations to the Zhang clan. Wu xie and pangzi make xiaoge promise to live on after they pass and to find him in their next lives.

Xiaoge takes the pill and the search for a way back home continues again in earnest. Eventually, LBH travels back to the demon realm and figures out how to track the artifact through space and time because his protag halo is too strong to keep him away from his love interest for too long. 

Wu xie and pangzi learn some basic meditation techniques that disciples would learn when first arrive at the mountain. Its too late for them to cultivate to longevity and there’s no guarantee that its even possible in their home world to cultivate if you aren’t a Zhang. Regardless, wu xie and pangzi don’t want immortality, they just want to spend as much time as they can with xiaoge. Wu xie is gifted a flute made with special bamboo and pangzi is gifted a wine jug from Zui Xian Peak. Both have spiritual properties that may or may not be able to function when back home, but they’er good gifts given in good faith. 

LBH, losing patience, forces iron triangle to get moving so he can save SQQ. He bursts through time and space and iron triangle plus LBH, MBJ, and LQG end up in dmbj world, in Wushanju. After scaring the crap out of Wang Meng, the group realizes that while several days have passed in svsss world, its only been a few hours since iron triangle was pulled away. Which is good because Ershu was likely to call in an army if wu xie went missing for no apparent reason. The whole thing would have been way too messy. Probably more than one person would have died. 

What follows is a night of LBH, LQG, and MBJ attempting different divination spells to try and pin point the exact location of SQQ and SQH to varying degrees of success. None of them are good at divination. Regardless, the three of them manage to get a general location of where the two missing peak lords might be and the iron triangle gets to work searching the internet for any rumors or information of any tombs that might be in the area. (Its just wu xie and pangzi looking, but xiaoge standing around still in his beautiful borrowed robes from CQ is good moral support.) 

They hear about some local legends about an ecentric noble from a bygone era that was buried in a very peculiar tomb. Potential tomb located, the whole group prepares to head out. the SVSS gang is convinced to not fly over immediately because that would be waaaaay to flashy and draw unwanted attention to them that would delay things even more. The six of them cram in together into the van and head off. Svss gang are forced into modern clothing and are def a little too big to comfortably sit in the van. LBH hits his head on a doorway at least once on this adventure. At lease two women and maybe a guy slip their numbers to him too. The man is supernaturally gorgeous.

After some more road trip shenanigans,  they arrive at the rumored entrance to the tomb and head in. The tomb has a few traps here and there, but is practically child’s play for the iron triangle to get through. Svsss are appropriately impressed by their competence and LBH and LQG think specifically about how the iron triangle is a true threesome that supports each other and fights together. MBJ just wants his hamster boy back. 

When they near the central chamber of the tomb, they hear the faint sounds of fighting which spurs SVSSS to speed ahead while iron triangle tries to get them to at least be a little cautious about setting off traps. 

The sight that LBH sees when he breaks into the main chamber like the kool aid man is a disheveled SQQ beating SQH over the head with a baton? Kind of. Its a baton carved into the shape of a penis. SQQ immediately stops and tries to put on his “peerless immortal cultivator” mask on with a flick of his fan, but its hard for that to be effective when your hair is all over the place and your in a room covered in penises. SQH dives for his king’s thighs and cries in relief that he’s no longer trapped in a room full of dildos and penises with SQQ. 

Then the iron triangle catches up and the realization that SVSSS gang is in modern clothing sinks in. The transmigrators freeze for just a second before jumping in front of iron triangle with a thousand questions. They ask in their shitty English which leaves answering the questions mostly to wu xie because pangzi’s english is pretty spotty and xiaoge doesn’t like talking in general, let alone a foreign language.

The whole group eventually leaves the tomb and all its phallic glory behind and get above ground where there’s phone service again. After a bit of searching, the transmigrators realize that while this world is very similar to their original world, there’s no signs of “Proud Immortal Demon Way” ever being written here, no other signs pointing to the two of them existing in this world. SVSS gang are very concerned as they watch SQQ and SQH talk in a strange language to these relative strangers, but don’t feel like its the time to figure out whats going on until everyone gets back home. The now expanded group makes their way back to Wushanju in an even more cramped road trip back. SQQ absolutly ends up in LBH’s lap at least once and SQH ends up with MBJ’s head in his lap at some point. its all very cute as the feeling of everyone being accounted for and safe settles in. 

Maybe there’s some stuff about SQQ and SQH being transmigrators and them being tempted for all of half a second to stay in this world that is so very much like their original world but choosing to go back with their lovers and the lives they’ve made for themselves. 

As the complete SVSSS gang now gets ready to head back home, the Iron triangle makes a huuuuge goody bag of all the snacks and treats that SQQ and SQH have been missing ever since they’ve transmigrated and put together a basic netbook plus solar charger for them to take back. There won’t be internet service back in SVSS world, but they loaded it up with a whooole bunch of web novels and pop songs, along with a few spare parts. 

SVSSS gang finally makes their way home after having a large farewell dinner at Wushanju at Pangzi’s insistence and LBH bullies his way into helping out. Its a very sweet scene of laughing and drinking. After dinner is done, SVSSS decide to go back immediately because the time dilation thing would mean they would be away for longer than they would like. 

Once back home, LBH, SQQ, and LQG have a confrontation/conversation about their relationships with each other and figure out if they want to try being all together, all three of them. MBJ confines SQH to his northern palace. Specifically their bedroom. He was also the one that remembered to grab the artifact that caused all these problems to begin with while everyone else was distracted by dildo tomb.

Iron triangle goes back to their retirement, at peace with the decisions they’ve made and the lives they’ve chosen to live.

THE END!!!

[spockandawe]

Oh, would you look at that, is it fish book pitch o’clock again? IT SURE IS!!

So, here’s my angle du jour. I’m a sucker for a feral and/or unsocialized fictional character, especially if the story puts them in a position where they either need or want to catch up to their peers on the social front. I didn’t really click with Jin Zixuan until I saw a post breaking down how his awkwardness made a lot of sense in terms of growing up isolated and undersocialized, and I really love takes on young Lan Wangji that really lean into him not knowing how to play with the other children. It’s more fanon than canon, given screentime, but I love takes on Mobei-jun that do the same thing. And! Outside of the cnovel world altogether, it’s part of why i would Die for both Gideon Nav and Harrowhark Nonagesimus. It’s so tasty! 

And Jing-wang is a version of this that I don’t think I’ve seen before. I’ve had this bouncing around in my head for a while, but I can’t quite come up with any parallels. Jing-wang grew up isolated in one way because he was an imperial prince, with a dead mother and no surviving siblings. The boy doesn’t have many peers, and things are... messy with his half-brothers. But since he’s mute, he’s (theoretically) not in the running for the throne, and he’s not involved in as much political wheeling and dealing as the other princes. And also since he’s mute, communication with other people is a bit of an ordeal, and only a few people who are very close to him are good at interpreting him, outside of him writing things down. I get the idea that he does very well for himself at understanding and steering the political playing field, even if he’s not mixed up deeply in things himself, but he’s.... very not good when it comes to connecting with anyone on any kind of personal level.

But what delights me the most is that this mainly gets expressed through him being 1) a very devoted and well-meaning pet owner, 2) who is very BAD at being a pet owner.

It gets expressed in little funny ways that go by quickly, like in a stressful meeting, where Jing-wang is squeezing Li Yu’s back in a self-soothing way, and Li Yu is like ‘ow, OW, TOO HARD’ and swims away, and Jing-wang is like >:( for two seconds before Li Yu comes back and starts swimming through his fingers again, and Jing-wang realizes he was squeezing too hard. Or later on, after Li Yu’s been living in a huge tank, Jing-wang is like ‘okay, you live in this bottle now, so i can bring you Everywhere with me’ and Li Yu has to fake being unwell so that Jing-wang realizes that the bottle is way too small to be a permanent fish residence. Very quick little empathy things, where Jing-wang gets the intended message pretty darn quickly, but he still had to be taught the lesson in the first place.

But there’s also like... also early on, Li Yu gets a side quest to steal a pearl from the headdress of the Emperor’s favorite concubine. In the process of doing so, he soaks Jing-wang in front of the Emperor, accidentally slaps the concubine in the face, freaks her out, freaks her son out, accidentally frames the two of them for trying to hurt Jing-wang’s pet fish, and knocks the pearl loose... but sends it to the floor. Fortunately, Jing-wang notices that the fish seems REAL interested in this pearl, and retrieves it, but he’s also pissed at the fish for causing so much trouble.

So what does he do? He’s like ‘OKAY. FINE. You want this pearl? Well what I’m going to do is seal this pearl TIGHT inside a glass vial, and then I’m going to put that vial RIGHT in your tank, so you can see the pearl, but you can NEVER HAVE IT’, you know, like a normal human way to treat your pet fish. Only then, Li Yu had already felt bad about causing such a big scene, and sets up a whole apology where he offers Jing-wang his food (because it’s the only thing he has) and tries bowing in apology, and Jing-wang thinks something like ‘...as long as someone was willing to deal with him sincerely, even if they were a fish, he would treat them sincerely in return’ and he gives Li Yu the pearl.

First of all, I never knew I so desperately needed a book where a man tries to play psychological games with his pet fish, second of all, Li Yu is the sketchiest “““fish””” of all time, and third, oh my god Jing-wang how sheltered are you, how do you not realize that this is nowhere in the vicinity of being normal fish behavior??

(to be fair to him, it doesn’t take him that long to realize things are suspicious, and by the thirty-somethingth chapter he has a decent hypothesis for what the fock is going on with his pet fish)

And later in the book, after he knows that this fish is at least sometimes human-shaped, I’d already been pleasantly taken by surprise (in the mtl chapters) to realize that the relationship development involved Li Yu laying down boundaries and holding Jing-wang accountable when he tried getting around them. And like with the squeezing plot point, Jing-wang is very quick to get the message that something he did made this fish/person unhappy, to realize that he doesn’t want them to be unhappy, and to make a very serious effort to change his behavior so he doesn’t make that mistake again. I just hadn’t quite connected the dots to realizing that Li Yu was coaching him through a number of basic emotional development steps even before things reached the point of sex and consent, haha

(in fairness to me, I think Li Yu is extremely oblivious to all of this. which is one of my favorite flavors of character development in fiction, honestly? i love seeing this growth that’s driven by another person, but unintentionally so, so that two people end up drifting closer and closer, and becoming more and more important to each other, without that ever being something they deliberately work towards)

And I think that the idea that Li Yu is coaching Jing-wang through the steps of emotional growth is honestly supported by the other characters in the novel. In the “original” book, Jing-wang falls in love with and marries Chu Yanyu, who very definitely is not in love with him, and is happy to let Jing-wang get hurt and suffer on his behalf, through what sounds like a very unhappy, toxic relationship. In the book we get, all it takes is a little affection and attention from a pet fish, for Jing-wang to totally ignore what should have been Chu Yanyu’s entry into his life, and for him to continue ignoring Chu Yanyu no matter how many times he’s thrown/throws himself into Jing-wang’s path.

Jing-wang does have some people who care about him, but those relationships are... either unequal, or not-mutual, or made difficult in other ways. The Emperor cares about him, but has complicated feelings, since the Empress died shortly after Jing-wang’s birth, where she was already in poor health after losing two other sons, and it seemed like her health got worse after Jing-wang was born mute. The Emperor also tries not to pay him too much attention, because he’s ineligible to inherit the throne anyways, and paying him attention would make him more of a political target. Jing-wang’s main servant, Wang Xi, cares about him deeply, and is the most reliable interpreter for his nonverbal communication, but is also a servant, not a peer. And Jing-wang’s cousin (on his mother’s side) likes him a lot, but their temperaments are highly incompatible, and Jing-wang tends to get annoyed and throw him out when he comes to visit. (the rest of his mother’s family cares about him too, but Jing-wang isn’t a social beast, and doesn’t make himself terribly accessible either)

And like, early, early in the book, at that stressful meeting where Jing-wang squeezes the fish too hard, before things get stressful, the Emperor is completely derailed from the initial purpose of the meeting, because he’s so pleased that Jing-wang has something he cares about, even if it’s just a little pet fish. He continues to be increasingly pleased with this fish as the book goes on, and it’s both hella charming, but also very :( for what it says about how detached Jing-wang was from the world for the last twenty years of his life. And as of chapter 27, Li Yu is trying to meddle with the book plot to save Jing-wang’s cousin from a scheme that will ultimately see him dead, and Jing-wang just agreed to go with his cousin to the imperial palace, to keep an eye on him. And Wang Xi is so moved by this outreach from Jing-wang that he legit tears up. 

Jing-wang is so isolated! Jing-wang is able to play politics, but he does not know how to deal with other people on a friendly social level, and Li Yu is accidentally helping him catch up! I was invested purely on the basis of ‘oh my godddd, jing-wang loves his fish so much,’ which he absolutely does, taking care of his fish is basically his number one priority, but that’s not nearly all there is to this situation! I’m so excited to read the chapters covering the initial relationship development as translated by a human, rather than a machine, because I just know there’s tasty, tasty emotional content in there. 

I could have been totally happy with a book where Jing-wang remained cold and detached with one (1) exception, and that’s a relationship paradigm I totally enjoy reading, but seeing Li Yu accidentally teach him to open up and form attachments to other people too is so rewarding and I love it! I know later on, his cousin is falling in love at the same time he is, he has more dealings with his father, and his mother’s family enters the scene here and there, and I badly need to read it. This is just the best comfort food I could have asked for right now. It’s a lovely balance of cute, moving, and absolutely ridiculous, and has character development more gripping than I could have ever expected. I love it so much, you guys ;u;

[delicioussshame]

Comment fic: do you remember that fic where LBH died so OLBH took SY for himself, more or less with his consent? Have an okay day in SY’s life.

The original Shen Qingqiu is probably rolling over in his grave.

Shen Qingqiu doesn’t care. So what if Luo Binghe just found him with a two-year-old in his lap and a small army of children listening eagerly to story time, i.e. Shen Qingqiu regurgitating age-appropriate versions of the many trash novels he used to read? Shen Qingqiu has nothing but time, and the babies noticed their older siblings getting lessons in cultivation and got jealous. Shen Qingqiu improvised. The vast majority of the children surrounding him are too young to learn how to cultivate. Some of them have inherited too much demon blood from their parents for him to be of use.

The children stare with awe as Luo Binghe approaches. Shen Qingqiu understands that most of them barely see their father, ever. It’s a miracle he can remember their names and faces, really.

Luo Binghe, no matter which version, has always been smart. A part of Shen Qingqiu melts a bit at the way he rattles off their names and asks a few pertinent questions before sending them away. Even if it’s just curtesy of his abnormally good memory, it’s still impressive. Shen Qingqiu himself still gets them wrong from time to time. There are just so many. It’s a mystery how Luo Binghe has time to visit Shen Qingqiu with so many other attachments.

Shen Qingqiu is about to end story time prematurely, because if Luo Binghe came to see him this early it’s because he wants something, when the two-year-old in his lap, one of the youngest children here, decides otherwise. “Father, I wanna know the story!”

A chorus of agreements makes itself heard.

Shen Qingqiu’s stomach drops when Luo Binghe’s smile turns wicked, though, thankfully, normal-wicked, not bedroom-wicked. “Oh? Shizun was telling you a story? It would be rude to interrupt now, wouldn’t it?” He plops down on a nearby bench, and, for good measure, plucks a dumbstruck kid and sits her on his lap. Three others immediately capitalise on their father’s miraculous presence to crowd him, and before Shen Qingqiu knows it they’re all waiting eagerly for him to start talking again, Luo Binghe himself included.

Oh no. Now he can’t tell Luo Binghe to fuck off while he finishes the story, not when the children are so happy to see him.

Fuck. Story time it is. “Let’s see. When we left off, Wang Qiang was trying to save the lovely princess from a curse…”

___________________

Luo Binghe is far too amused for his own good. “I had no idea Shizun was such a talented storyteller. When has he cultivated that skill? Shall I provide more fiction for him to read?”

Shen Qingqiu snorts. “I cannot be that good. Half the children were asleep by the end.” In fact, Luo Binghe has just finished delivering the last child, a sleeping four-year-old girl, to her mother. The image of him cradling her was so cute it made Shen Qingqiu coo in his heart. Looking this charming should be criminal. Damn stallion protagonists. 

“They’re children, it can’t be helped. I promise that when Shizun tell me stories, I will be awake until the end.”

Shen Qingqiu frowns. “That won’t happen.” Ever.

Luo Binghe’s amusement sadly doesn’t fade. “Why not? You enjoy it, and so would I.”

“If you want to hear more stories, come to story time. Your children deserve to see their father sometimes.”

Luo Binghe… sighs? “I wish I could. Family is important, but so are my responsibilities. I have to make sure they and their mothers lack for nothing. They also have Shizun, don’t they? They’re luckier than I was at their age.”

Shen Qingqiu bites his tongue. Not only did this Luo Binghe grew up poor with only his mother, but he also suffered under Shen Qingqiu’s care. His life was harsh.

Curse his weak heart. “…Maybe something could be arranged if Binghe is good.”

Luo Binghe perks up like a wolf who smelled blood. “I’m always good.”

Yeah, no. “I am not foolish enough to believe that. Why were you even visiting?” It wasn’t just for fun, not during the day.

“Chenguang is sick. The healers assure me she needs the horn of a Rainbow Dragon-Goat to heal. They aren’t sure where it can be found at this time of the year, but-“

“The Eastern Mountain Range, in Mobei-Jun’s domain. It’s mating season, so they should have climbed down to congregate. That should make them more aggressive than usual, but nothing you cannot handle.” Shen Qingqiu knows his Proud Immortal Demon Way plot lines.

For an instant, Luo Binghe’s smile is so blinding Shen Qingqiu’s mind is wiped blank. “And this is why I wanted to see Shizun. Why waste time looking for information when Shizun knows so much? Does he want to come along? He’s been holed up in the palace for so long, fresh air would do wonders for him. Not to mention his knowledge would be very helpful.”

Indeed, Shen Qingqiu hasn’t been out for a long time. Hunting monsters away from everything seems delightful. “I don’t mind.” He’ll have to warn the children, but it should be fine. It’s not like the palace doesn’t have plenty of cultivators and tutors lying around, just waiting to be called on.

Luo Binghe closes in on him. “Shizun is being so obliging today.” His hand lifts to cup his cheek gently. “Could he be convinced to grant this disciple another favor?”

Shen Qingqiu shivers. What he wants is very clear. “Make your case, and we’ll see.”

His apparent reluctance disappears under the press of Luo Binghe’s mouth.

[fuyonggu]

SGZ 23: Biography of Pei Qian

Seems like a good guy.

裴潜字文行，河东闻喜人也。避乱荆州，刘表待以宾礼。潜私谓所亲王粲、司马芝曰：「刘牧非霸王之才，乃欲西伯自处，其败无日矣。」遂南適长沙。太祖定荆州，以潜参丞相軍事，出历三县令，入为仓曹属。太祖问潜曰：「卿前与刘备俱在荆州，卿以备才略何如？」潜曰：「使居中国，能乱人而不能为治也。若乘间守险，足以为一方主。」

Pei Qian, styled Wenxing, was a native of Wenxi county in Hedong commandary. During the turmoil at the end of the Han dynasty, he moved to Jingzhou, where Liu Biao treated him well as an honored guest. But Pei Qian privately said to his friends Wang Can and Sima Zhi, "Governor Liu lacks even the talents of the hegemon-kings of old, yet he thinks himself to be another Lord of the West (King Wen of Zhou). His end is not far off." And he moved further south to live in Changsha commandary.

After Cao Cao had settled Jingzhou (in 208), he appointed Pei Qian as an Army Advisor to the Prime Minister; he sent Pei Qian out to serve as Prefect for three counties, then brought him back to the capital to serve as an official for the Supplies Bureau.

Cao Cao asked Pei Qian, "You were in Jingzhou at the same time as Liu Bei; what did you make of his talents and cunning?"

Pei Qian replied, "During the time that Liu Bei held land in the Middle Kingdom (the Central Plains), though he was able to stir up trouble, he was unable to establish peace. But if he is able to take advantage of some opening and find some suitable terrain to defend, he is capable enough to become master of some corner of the realm."

〈《魏略》曰：潜世为著姓。父茂，仕灵帝时，历县令、郡守、尚书。建安初，以奉使率导关中诸將讨李傕有功，封列侯。潜少不脩细行，由此为父所不礼。〉

(The Weilue states, "Pei Qian came from a family of good pedigree. His father Pei Mao had served during the reign of Emperor Ling as Prefect of a county, Administrator of a commandary, and a Master of Writing. And at the beginning of the Jian'an era (~196), Pei Mao achieved success in heeding Emperor Xian's orders and leading the armies of Guanzhong to campaign against Li Jue and was thus appointed as a minor marquis. But since Pei Qian displayed poor behavior as a youth, his father did not respect him.")

河東裴潛亦爲表所禮重，潛私謂王暢之子〈【張：「子」作「孫」。】〉粲及河內司馬芝曰：「劉牧非霸王之才，乃欲西伯自處，其敗無日矣！」遂南適長沙。於是操以曁爲丞相士曹屬，潛參丞相軍事。[ZZTJ 208.EE]

Pei Qian of Hedong was also treated with great courtesy by Liu Biao, but he said privately to Wang Can, son (or grandson) of Wang Chang, and to Sima Zhi of Henei, "Governor Liu lacks the ability to rule as a hegemon, but he compares himself to the Lord of the West. His destruction will come very soon." So they too had gone south to Changsha. Cao Cao now appointed Han Ji as Junior Clerk in the Department of Officials under the Imperial Chancellor, and Pei Qian was Adviser to the Army of the Imperial Chancellor.

时代郡大乱，以潜为代郡太守。乌丸王及其大人，凡三人，各自称单于，专制郡事。前太守莫能治正，太祖欲授潜精兵以镇讨之。潜辞曰：「代郡户口殷众，士马控弦，动有万数。单于自知放横日久，内不自安。今多將兵往，必惧而拒境，少將则不见惮。宜以计谋图之，不可以兵威迫也。」遂单车之郡。单于惊喜。潜抚之以静。单于以下脱帽稽颡，悉还前后所掠妇女、器械、财物。潜案诛郡中大吏与单于为表里者郝温、郭端等十餘人，北边大震，百姓归心。在代三年，还为丞相理曹掾，太祖褒称治代之功，潜曰：「潜於百姓虽宽，於诸胡为峻。今计者必以潜为理过严，而事加宽惠；彼素骄恣，过宽必弛，既弛又將摄之以法，此讼争所由生也。以势料之，代必复叛。」於是太祖深悔还潜之速。后数十日，三单于反问至，乃遣鄢陵侯彰为骁骑將軍征之。

At this time, Dai commandary was in great turmoil. Pei Qian was appointed as Administrator of Dai. 

The King of the Wuhuan and his chiefs, three fellows in all, had each declared themselves Chanyu and taken control of the affairs of the commandary, and the previous Administrators had been unable to rectify the situation. Cao Cao thus wanted to assign elite soldiers to Pei Qian's garrison so that Pei Qian could campaign against these tribal leaders. 

But Pei Qian advised him, "Dai commandary has a large population with many households, and there are more than ten thousand locals there who could serve as mounted archers. As for the Chanyus, they know full well that they have been ignoring our commands and doing as they please, so they must be uneasy about their situation. Thus, if we lead many troops into the commandary, they will surely become agitated and come to oppose us at the border, while if we lead only a few troops, they will not fear us. We must use strategy to overcome them; we cannot employ brute force against them." 

So he set out for the commandary riding in a lone carriage. The Chanyus were astonished and pleased to see Pei Qian arrive in this fashion, and he comforted them so that they calmed down. The Chanyus removed their caps and bowed their heads to Pei Qian, and they returned all of the women, equipment, and valuables that they had earlier plundered. Pei Qian then investigated the circumstances and executed more than ten local officials and others who had colluded with the Chanyus, including Hao Wen and Guo Duan. The north thus shook with fear, and the common people supported the government again.

After he had been Administrator of Dai for three years, Pei Qian was recalled to the capital to serve as a senior subordinate to the Prime Minister. Cao Cao praised and commended Pei Qian for his administration of Dai, but Pei Qian told him, "Although I was lenient with the common people in Dai, I was strict with the local tribes. People will thus reckon that I was too harsh on the tribes and will be inclined to show them more tolerance and kindness. But the tribes have always been proud and conceited, and if they are shown too much lenience, they will become lax. Once they are used to such things, trying to enforce the laws against them will cause arguments and disputes to spring up. If we allow that to happen, then another rebellion will flare up in Dai." 

Cao Cao thus deeply regretted having recalled Pei Qian too quickly, and indeed, it was only a few weeks later when news arrived that the three Chanyus had once again rebelled. So Cao Cao appointed the Marquis of Yanling, Cao Zhang, as General of Agile Cavalry and sent him to campaign against the tribes.

代郡烏桓三大人皆稱單于，〈代郡烏桓單于：其一曰普盧，其二曰無臣氐，其三則未之聞也。〉恃力驕恣，太守不能治。魏王操以丞相倉曹屬裴潛爲太守，欲授以精兵。潛曰：「單于自知放橫日久，今多將兵往，必懼而拒境，少將則不見憚，宜以計謀圖之。」遂單車之郡，單于驚喜。潛撫以恩威，單于讋服。[ZZTJ 216.H]

Three chieftains of the Wuhuan in Dai commandery all styled themselves Shanyu. Relying upon their strength, they acted arrogantly and wilfully: the Grand Administrator could not keep them under control. King Cao of WEI appointed Pei Qian, Junior Clerk in the Department of Granaries under the Chancellor, as a new Grand Administrator. He offered him good soldiers, but Pei Qian said, "The Shanyu know they have been acting badly. If I go with an army they will certainly become frightened and will close the border against us. If I take only a small escort they will not be concerned. We must show some strategy." So he travelled to the commandery in a single carriage, and the Shanyu were surprised and pleased. Pei Qian treated them with grace and authority, and the Shanyu respected and submitted.

(Regarding these three Wuhuan Chanyus of Dai commandary, the first one was named Pulu, and the second one was named Wuchendi. The name of the third one is unknown.)

夏，四月，代郡、上谷烏桓無臣氐等反。先是，魏王操召代郡太守裴潛爲丞相理曹掾，操美潛治代之功，潛曰：「潛於百姓雖寬，於諸胡爲峻。今繼者必以潛爲治過嚴而事加寬惠。彼素驕恣，過寬必弛；旣弛，將攝之以法，此怨叛所由生也。以勢料之，代必復叛。」〈後魏陸侯治高車，與潛異世而同轍。〉於是操深悔還潛之速。後數十日，三單于反問果至。操以其子鄢陵侯彰行驍騎將軍，〈鄢陵縣，屬潁川郡。驍騎將軍，始於漢武帝，以命李廣。〉使討之。[ZZTJ 219.D]

In the summer, in the fourth month Wuchendi and others, the Wuhuan of Dai and Shanggu commanderies, made rebellion. Before this, King Cao of WEI had called in Pei Qian, Grand Administrator of Dai commandery, to become Senior Clerk in the Department of Justice under the Chancellor.  

Cao Cao praised his government of Dai commandery, but Pei Qian replied, "I acted generously to the people, though I was firm with the barbarians. My successor will certainly think I was too strict, and will treat them more gently. The barbarians have always acted proudly and wilfully, and too much leniency will make the government slack. When things become slack and you then try to restore law and order, it brings hatred and rebellion. Looking at the situation this way, there will soon be another rebellion in Dai."

Cao Cao now regretted he had brought Pei Qian back so soon, and a few weeks later there came the news of the rebellion of the three Shanyu. Cao Cao appointed his son Cao Zhang, Marquis of Yanling, as Acting General of Resolute Cavalry and sent him to attack them.

(During the Northern Wei dynasty, the Marquis of Lu followed the same strategy to deal with the Gaoche tribes as Pei Qian here proposed. The times may have changed, but the outcomes were still the same.

Lanling county was part of Yingchuan commandary.

The title General of Agile Cavalry had first been created by Emperor Wu of Han, as an appointment for Li Guang.)

潜出为沛国相，迁兗州刺史。太祖次摩陂，叹其軍陈齐整，特加赏赐。文帝践阼，入为散骑常侍。出为魏郡、颍川典农中郎將，奏通贡舉，比之郡国，由是农官进仕路泰。迁荆州刺史，赐爵关内侯。明帝即位，入为尚书。出为河南尹，转太尉軍师、大司农，封清陽亭侯，邑二百户。入为尚书令，奏正分职，料简名实，出事使断官府者百五十餘条。丧父去官，拜光禄大夫。正始五年薨，追赠太常，谥曰贞侯。子秀嗣。遗令俭葬，墓中惟置一坐，瓦器数枚，其餘一无所设。

Pei Qian was sent out to serve as Chancellor of the Pei princely fief, then transferred to be Inspector of Yanzhou. When Cao Cao came to Mobei, he praised Pei Qian for the precision of his army's formation, and he granted him special rewards. 

When Cao Pi came to the throne (in 220), Pei Qian was brought to the capital to serve as a Cavalier In Regular Attendance. Later he went out to serve as Agricultural Director of the Household Gentlemen for Wei and Yingchuan commandaries, and he upheld orders and submitted so much grain compared to the other commandaries and fiefs that the agricultural department was greatly improved. Pei Qian was transferred to be Inspector of Jingzhou and appointed as a Marquis Within The Passes.

When Cao Rui came to the throne (in 226), Pei Qian returned to court to serve as a Master of Writing. He later went out to serve as Inspector of Henan, then was transferred to be Directing Instructor to the Grand Commandant, then as Grand Minister of Finance. His title was changed to Marquis of Qingyang village, with a fief of two hundred households. He later returned to court and served as Prefect of the Masters of Writing, where he clarified the various roles and rectified the titles and positions and decided upon more than a hundred and fifty articles of government staff. When Pei Qian's father passed away (around 230), he left office in order to mourn for him, and he was appointed as a Household Counselor. 

Pei Qian passed away in the fifth year of Zhengshi (244); he was posthumously appointed as Minister of Ceremonies, with the posthumous title Marquis Zhen ("the Faithful"). His son Pei Xiu succeeded him. Pei Qian left a will ordering that he be given a simple burial; his tomb contained only a single seat and a few terracotta items, with no other ornamentation.

〈《魏略》曰：时远近皆云当为公，会病亡。始潜自感所生微贱，无舅氏，又为父所不礼，即折节仕进，虽多所更历，清省恪然。每之官，不將妻子。妻子贫乏，织藜芘以自供。又潜为兗州时，尝作一胡床，及其去也，留以挂柱。又以父在京师，出入薄车；群弟之田庐，常步行；家人小大或并日而食；其家教上下相奉，事有似於石奋。其履检校度，自魏兴少能及者。潜为人材博，有雅（要）容，然但如此而已，终无所推进，故世归其絜而不宗其餘。〉

(The Weilue states, "Near the end of Pei Qian's life, everyone near and far said that he ought to be appointed as one of the Excellencies. However, he soon fell ill and passed away.

"Pei Qian had grown up poor; he had no maternal uncles who could support him, nor did his father show him any respect. Thus he advanced in office by scrupulously maintaining his duty, and despite the rise in life he experienced, he was always meticulously frugal. He never brought his wife and children along when he was sent out to a new post, and indeed, his wife and children wove bundles of plants in order to sustain themselves. When Pei Qian served as Inspector of Yanzhou, he built a barbarian bed (a kind of folding chair), but when he left that position, he merely left the bed hanging on a post. His father living in the capital got around riding in a crude carriage, while his younger brothers lived in farm cottages and often traveled on foot. The members of his family sometimes went several days between meals, and they provided education between themselves. Pei Qian's family life was thus similar to the old Han dynasty minister Shi Fen, and from the rise of the Wei dynasty onwards, few could match him for frugality. He was a talented and learned man, with great refinement. However, because of this behavior, in the end he was rarely acclaimed or advanced by others; the people of that time respected him for his purity, but did not emulate his other traits.")

[bookofjin]

Biography of Duan Pidi

[From JS063. A leader of the Duan Xianbei, but presuambly as a Jin loyalist his biography is in a regular chapter. ]

Duan Pidi was a Xianbei of the Eastern Section. His forebears were strong and tough, and for generations were chieftains. His father Wuwuchen dispatched an army to help the King of Donghai, Yue, in conquering and punishing and had merits. Wang Jun [JS039] petitioned him as a king friendly to Jin [?] enfeoffed as Duke of Liaoxi, and married a daughter to Wuwuchen, thereby connecting neighbourhoods in assisting.

When Emperor Huai was enthroned, he used Wuwuchen as Great Shanyu, Pidi as Worthy King of Left, leading the multitudes assisting the state in conquering and punishing, temporarily appointed Great General who Consoles the Army. Wuwuchen died and his younger brother Shefuchen used Wuwuchen's son Jilujuan to inherit the title.

Liu Yao pressured Luoyang and Wang Jun dispatched the Protector-Controller Wang Chang to lead Jilujuan, his younger brother Wenyang and his cousin Mobei to attack Shi Le at Xiangguo. Le was defeated and returned to the ramparts. Mobei pursued to enter the rampart gates and was seized by Le. Le held Mobei hostage and dispatched envoys requesting peace to Jilujuan. Jiluyuan wanted to allow it. Wenyang admonished, saying:

[You] received the instructions to punish Le, would [you]  rather not, since Mobei is a single person, for that reason indulge being the head of completing the capture? [?] [You] have already lost Jun's opinion, moreover to have later grief, surely it is not possible to allow [it].

Jiluyuan did not listen, and used 250 armoured horses and one basket each of gold and silver to bestow on Mobei. Le returned it, and again substantially used gold, jewels, coloured silk and tabby silk to report to Jiluyuan. Jiluyuan ordered Wenyang to swear an oath together with Shi Jilong, a covenant to be brothers, thereupon he pulled out the cavalry and returned. Chang and others were not able to defend alone, and likewise turned back..

At the beginning of Jianwu [317 – 318], Pidi pushed forward Liu Kun [JS062] as Great Commander-in-Chief, joining oaths to punish Le, and likewise called to arms Shefuchen, Jiluyuan, Mobei and others to from three directions all assemble at Xiangguo. Kun and Pidi advanced to garrison Gu'an, there to wait for the multitude armies. Le was afraid and dispatched secret envoys to substantially bribe Mobei. So Mobei was already considering to report his old mercy, moreover since Pidi was outside, he desired to raid and plunder his state. He therefore criticized  Pidi to Shefuchen and Jiluyuan, saying:

Are you comparing father's elder brother and a nephew's younger brother? [?]Though [you?] in a single morning had merits, Pidi is alone in gathering them.

Shefuchen and others accordingly did so. They pulled out the army and returned. Pidi likewise halted.

It happened that Jiluyuan became ill and died. Pidi came running from Ji to mourn, and arrived in Youbeiping. Mobei circulated words that Pidi wanted to usurp [the throne], and sent out the army to strike and defeat him. Mobei thereupon murdered Shefuchen and his sons, younger brothers and partisans, more than 200 people, and established himself as Shanyu.

When Wang Jun was defeated, Pidi acted as Inspector of You province. Liu Kun [came?] from Bing province, to rely on him repeatedly he and Pidi joined in covenants, to together punish Shi Le. Pidi was repeatedly defeated by Mobei, the soldiers [?] and multitudes left and scattered. He feared Kun had designs on him, and thereupon murdered him. And so the people of Jin were leaving and scattering.

Pidi was not able to strengthen himself. [From?] the north he relied on Shao Xu [JS063]. Mobei also attacked and defeated him. Pidi was wounded [?], he spoke to Xu, saying:

I, a Di [狄] of the Yi, longed for righteousness, and it accordingly came to the destroying my household. Lord, if you have not forgotten old agreements, advance and punish with me. The Lord's kindness!

Xu said:

Relying on Your Excellency's power and virtue, Xu managed s a result to join. Now Your Excellency has difficulties, how could I dare not to accompany [you]!

Thereupon both gave their strength to chase Mobei, beheading and capturing roughly everyone [?]. He also ordered Wenyang to the north to punish Mobei's younger brother at Jicheng. When he returned, at a distance of 80 li from the city, he heard Xu had fallen. The multitudes feared and scattered. He was repeatedly blocked by Shi Jilong. Wenyang used his personal troops, several hundred men, to give his strength to rout him. Only then did he manage to enter the city. Jilong repeated plundered beneath the walls. Wenyang climbed the walls to overlook and observe, desiring to set out and strike him. Pidi did not allow it. Wenyang said:

I have a reputation for bravery [?], for that reason the hundred families held on to me. To see people being plundering and but not helping them, is not a grown-up man. To cause the multitudes to lose their expectations, who can repeatedly be me delivering death! [?]

Thereupon he commanded strong soldiers, several tens of cavalry, to set out and fight, killing very many of the Hu. Then it happened that his horse became exhausted, crawling and unable to stand up. Jilong shouted, saying:

Great brother and I are both of thus of the Rong and Di, long ago [we] hoped to be together. Heaven does not disobey [its] desires. Today when we see each other, for what reason would we again fight? [I] request to cast away the cane.

Wenyang cursed him, saying:

You are are cruel bandit, long ago [we] ought to have joined in death. My elder brother did not employ my plan, and for that reason has caused you to manage to come to this. I would rather die and not become your prisoner.

Thereupon he fought bitterly beneath the horse. His spear broke off, holding his blade he fought strongly and did not stop. Jilong's army from four sides loosened horses enveloping and splitting from the barrier [?],first grasping Wenyang [?]. Wenyang fought from the early morning to the afternoon, when his strength was at end, he later was captured. Inside the city they were greatly afraid.

Pidi desired to return to court on a single horse [?]. Xu's younger brother, the Interior Clerk of Le'an, Ji collaborated with the troops. [He?] did not allow it. Ji again desired to capture the government messenger Wang Ying and send  him to Jilong. Pidi with a stern countenance reproved him, saying:

Sir was not able to honour the aspirations of his elder brother, [but] pressures me to not to obtain a return to court, likewise accordingly to great extent. Again [you] desire to capture the Son of Heaven's messenger. I, though a Hu and humble [?], have not heard of that.

Because of that he spoke to Ying, saying:

Pidi for a generation received heavy kindness, and did not neglect loyalty and filial piety. Today affairs are pressing, and I desire to return [with my] crimes to the imperial court. Yet seeing the pressure is urgent, [I] loyally and earnestly will not accompany [you?]. If I manage to act to the end [?], [and this is] not the day of death, my heart will not forget the foundation.

Thereupon he crossed south of the Yellow River. Pidi wore his court clothes, held the Tally, and with his retainers and servants [?] set out to see Jilong, saying:

I received the state's kindness, and was aspiring to be wiping you out. Unfortunately my state is in chaos, and accordingly it came to this. I already was not able to die, but also is not able to be respectful of you.

Le and Jilong habitually had joined with Pidi as brothers. Jilong stood up and bowed to him. When Pidi arrived Xiangguo, he also was not decorous to Le, often wore court clothes, and held the Jin tally. Passing through the year, there was within Guo [?] a plan to push forward Pidi to be the ruler. The affair was exposed and he was murdered. Wenyang likewise took poison and died, only Mobei survived of them. When he died, his younger brother Ya was established. When Ya died, his granduncle Jiulujuan's grandson Liao was established.

From Wuwuchen and afterwards, coming upon Jin suffering chaos, they established themselves in rank and titles and took possession of the lands of Liaoxi, yet they as ministers held sway over the people of Jin. Their territory to the west reached the end of You province, to the east it bordered the Liao river. Thus they had command of possibly [?] more than families of the Hu and Jin, controlling tautly [?] possibly 40 or 50 000 cavalry. They and Shi Jilong one after another invaded and robbed each other, the continuous warfare did not end. In the end they were routed by Jilong. He moved their cast off masses, several tens of thousand families to the lands of Si and Yong. His son Lan repeatedly assembled troops, he was a worry for a long time to Jilong [?].

When the Shi clan was destroyed, Mobei's son Qinjiu assembled the Hu and Jie, obtaining more than 10 000 people, defending the Wangren Mountains, titling himself King of Zhao. He adhered to Murong Jun. Soon after he was defeated by Ran Min, he moved to Yimu and usurped the venerated title. Jun dispatched Murong Ke to strike him. Qinju then surrendered.

[hiddenwashington]

@tragcdysewn​ said : can i swap than to wang haoxuan and mobei-jun to dylan wang pls? **one more lmao can i change elphaba to alisha boe pls?

lots of fun changes here. thanatos is now paul wesley wang haoxuan, mobei-jun is now wang haoxuan dylan wang, and elphaba is now naomi scott alisha boe!