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leilakisakabiri · 11 months

Note

Can I request something with Gavi being barely even home resulting to reader feeling lonely and empty? A fluffy ending please! Gracias a todos!

You're Losing Me (Gavi)

Summary: You and Gavi's relationship is slowly falling apart - and neither of you know how to save it.

Warnings: Angst. Toxic behavior.

A/N: This request literally revived me so thank you. I’m so excited to write angst hopefully you like it! Also thank you guys for 1k notes on Surprise, here’s my gift to you. Please send requests!

Word count: 6.8k+

Masterlist

It was the fourth Tuesday in a row that you ate alone in your apartment. The fourth time Gavi had skipped out on your plans last minute, sending a quick half-hearted text about one event or the other.

The first time it was because Coach had asked Gavi to stay after practice, keen on teaching him the perfect one-touch shot. Then it was a missed dinner because Jordi Alba had invited him out with some other players, and he just couldn’t say no, because he was finally starting to feel like a part of the family - like the older players had finally started to respect him.

Of course you hadn’t minded the first few times, he had been apologetic enough, promising you that he would be there next time, but each next time took on the next week, and soon the prospect of next time didn’t hold as much meaning anymore. You were accustomed to reading those words by now, and you rarely took time to read over the dwindling text messages anymore, eyes only scanning for those two words, the ones that had become a staple in your relationship.

Next time.

Next time you would cook dinner for him and he would be there to eat it. Next time he would tell you he loved you in person, rather than getting an impassive ‘sorry cariño’. The thought of next time, which once seemed like a lifeline to you, had become a dull reminder of the boy who was just on the other side of the city, only a measly train ride separating you both. Yet the distance seemed much greater.

But now the football season was drawing to a close, and instead of being excited at the notion of having more time to spend together, you felt uneasy and on edge, almost as if you were waiting for the other shoe to drop, something to come up, making the distance between the two of you that much more tangible.

You felt your phone buzz next to you and your eyes unintentionally went to the clock.

9:45 pm.

The texts were getting later and later each time.

You already knew what awaited you, but you couldn’t help but scan the message regardless.

“Can’t come tonight, only have a few days till the season ends and the guys wanna make the most of it. Be there next time. Noche.”

There it was again, that unexplainable feeling in your chest, like your heart was always one step ahead of your brain, preparing for the loss of something that hadn’t yet left. Your mind was an incomprehensible mess, a jumble of contrasting thoughts and memories, forcing you to overthink situations and undervalue your emotions.

You lifted your head watching your roommate land with a thump on the couch beside you, “He canceled again, didn’t he?”

You opened your mouth, an excuse on the tip of your tongue.

She held up her hand, “Don’t try to defend him. He knows it isn’t fair.”

You avoided her gaze, “You don’t get it. He’s really in demand and-”

“It doesn’t matter that he’s famous or a professional athlete, that doesn’t discredit his actions, or put the blame on anyone but him.”

She continued, “Look Gavi’s a good guy, I like him,” you stared at her, “I do! But he’s stupid if he doesn’t realize that he’s losing you. I know you, and while you might make excuses for him now, I know that sooner or later you’re going to notice that he hasn’t been treating you like you deserve, and you’ll be smart enough to leave.”

You felt the impact of her words full force, like a sledgehammer beating into your body. All the signs were there, right in front of your face, and you had been turning a blind eye, not wanting to admit what your heart already knew.

You knew it. The distance you had felt hadn’t been in vain – every day you could feel the connection between the two of you chip away, so small, you wouldn’t think to notice it till you stood back and looked at the bigger picture.

As a result of both your busy schedules, you both had come up with the idea of having Tuesday night, the most boring day of the week as agreed on, reserved for just the two of you. On Tuesday you didn’t have classes that ran well past dinner time or have to pick up late-night shifts at the restaurant, and he didn’t have evening practice. It was perfect. Tuesday was yours.

Except it had been four weeks since you’d had a proper conversation with Gavi, and you couldn’t help but see the difference in your relationship when you first got together, both eager and determined to spend as much time together as possible, to now, where even if you attended his games, you two still managed to get away without speaking.

You shook your head, “I-I need to take a walk.”

She reached over placing a hand on your shoulder, “Y/n. I’m sorry-”

You shook it off, standing up, “No it’s ok, it’s not your fault. I just need to clear my head.”

You felt the cool night breeze hit you as you walked the streets of Barcelona. It was unusually quiet in this part of town, the lights from the main strip didn’t reach this far out, and for a moment the quiet reminded you of your hometown.

If you closed your eyes, it was almost like you were fifteen again, back in your childhood bedroom, before the ideas of pretty boys with big brown eyes and the weight of managing both university and a job plagued all your thoughts.

You reached a lookout point, the top of the hill dropping to show you the expansive city below. You stared out, the buildings looked so small up here, barely more than a glowing dot in the dark, the cars a blur of soft yellow. You wondered which tiny dot Gavi was in. You wondered if he had checked his phone, seeing that you hadn’t texted him back like you usually did. You wondered if he even cared.

You shook your head trying to get rid of the unwanted thoughts.

Your relationship with Gavi was good. He made you laugh like nobody else, whispering secrets in each other’s ears like schoolchildren, making forts out of old sheets in his childhood bedroom when you met his family for the first time. You remembered his sweet smile, the way his eyes would crinkle unintentionally when he couldn’t hold back his excitement or happiness. You remembered confiding in him about school, how you were so stressed because you couldn’t manage eighteen credits while simultaneously holding a job that required you to be on your feet for hours at a time. You could still feel the soft caress of his hand, as he squeezed yours, providing you comfort, cracking a badly executed joke here and there just to get you to smile while listing a hundred reasons why if anyone could do it, it would be you.

So, if he made you feel all those things, why did his absence make you feel so tiny, so insignificant?

Your finger hovered over the call button, and you hit it hesitantly.

You just wanted to hear his voice.

That would be enough.

It rang seven times before the line went dead.

It took you a moment to realize you hadn’t put your phone up to your ear, waiting with bated breath for the timer on the screen to start, indicating he had picked up, but it never did.

You stuffed your phone back into your pocket, the same unsteady feeling in your heart strumming.

Once.

Twice.

Then it was gone.

You came home to a quiet apartment and your roommate already asleep.

You shuffled into your room silently, you would give it one more week you decided. Next time would be the last.

The next week came, and while it was the first week Gavi had off from training, he had already planned to go to Ibiza to attend a music festival with his hometown friends. He had invited you, but it was more of an afterthought, and you couldn’t find it in yourself to go because of rushed ‘you can come if you want’ and a barely there apology so you left it.

You got an ‘I’ll miss you’ text from him and for a moment it made you smile, filling you with warmth. However, an ‘I miss you’ only did so much, and other than his sweet messages, there was really no intent behind his words.

Now it had been two days since Gavi had gotten back from his Ibiza trip, and you couldn’t hide the surprise on your face when you glanced over and saw a Facetime call from Gavi.

When was the last time the two of you had Facetimed? Maybe two months ago? It was much easier to send a text, the times both of you were free were few and far between.

You answered the call, pushing your textbook to the side. The dark grey interior of Gavi’s car greeted you.

“Hello?” You asked.

“Hey, Y/n long time no talk.” Gavi joked, but you felt your stomach flip at the truth behind his words.

“I can’t see you.” You said.

“Oh shit, did I accidentally Facetime? My bad I told Siri to call and she must have Facetimed instead. Let me call you.”

You went to speak but heard the three beeps indicating the call had been cut.

You heard the phone ring again and bit back a sigh. You just wanted to see his face.

You answered on the second ring.

“Hey sorry about that. I wanted to call and tell you that I’m back from Ibiza.”

“Yeah, I know.” You admitted, “I remembered.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Well, anyways I wanted to ask you to come with me to the Spanish football gala tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

You heard some shuffling and suddenly Gavi’s voice was much clearer and closer to the phone. You assumed he took it off speaker.

“Can you not come?”

You hesitated, “Uhm I’m not sure. It’s so last minute and I’m already scheduled at the restaurant tomorrow.”

“Can’t you just take off?” He persisted.

You felt your brow furrow, “I’m already on the schedule, I can’t just decide to take off the day before, I need to find someone to replace me.”

“Ok, tell whoever that I’ll sign a jersey for them if they do.”

You suddenly felt angry. Why did he think that you could only get a day off work if he helped you out? Were you not capable of handling your own situations? You hated feeling like this, like you weren’t even your own person, just a shadow of who you were with.

“No that’s fine. I’ll just take off like you said, simple.” You couldn’t help but let the bitterness seep into your voice.

He went to say something, probably sensing the shift in your mood, but you cut him off, “I have to go. Bye Gavi.”

You hung up before he could respond.

Finding someone to replace your shift was easier said than done, but after some back and forth, and a promise to Marcus to cover his next two shifts, you were free.

Free to prance around in a hall filled with people you barely knew, with a boy who you thought about more in your memories than you saw in real life.

The night of the gala arrived, and you were decked out, wearing the earrings Gavi had gifted you for your one-year anniversary paired with a necklace you had received after graduating high school.

Gavi had originally said he would pick you up but had sent a quick text earlier in the morning explaining that the team was getting ready together at a hotel, and to just meet him at the venue.

Your roommate had agreed to drive you and you gave her a grateful smile as you got in the car.

“Ana thank you for taking me.”

She brushed the comment off playfully, “No problem. Gotta step up when Gavi steps down.”

You let out a short laugh, “My hero.”

You got to the venue a couple of minutes before you had planned to meet Gavi and nervously walked around, staying out of the path of cameras.

You found someone to take you to a tent where some Barca staff were waiting for the players to start the program.

You walked in, a surprised look taking over your face once you noticed Pedri and a few other players in the corner.

You weren’t aware that some of the players from the hotel had arrived yet.

Pedri noticed your entrance and came over to say hello.

You gave him a quick hug, making casual small talk.

Just ask him, a voice in the back of your head urged.

Finally, you bit the bullet, attempting to sound as casual as possible, “How did you guys get here so early? I thought everyone was leaving the hotel at 6.”

“Ehh, it wasn’t that important, so I skipped it. Half the guys didn’t go anyway, and the other half just went to play FIFA. Besides I beat them every time, so it gets a little boring after a while.”

You tried to laugh at his joke, but could only manage a watery smile, mind running a mile a minute.

So Gavi hadn’t actually needed to go but chose to.

Leaving you alone.

Again.

It wasn’t a big deal by itself. But it was the fact that this was just another item you could add to your ever-growing list of things Gavi cared about more than you. You wondered briefly if you had been wrong, and if he had missed some other event to be there with you, only to remind yourself that you hadn’t seen him in a month, so no, he hadn’t.

You were still grappling with your emotions when Gavi arrived, unsure whether to confront him or just let this be another thing you swept under the rug.

Your reunion, if you could even call it that, was lackluster at best. He had walked in with some of his teammates, immediately going to greet the rest of his team, completely ignoring you standing on the right side of the room with Pedri.

It was only once he asked where Pedri was that someone pointed the two of you out.

You felt your body deflate; he hadn’t even asked for you.

Were you overthinking things again? Maybe he had just forgotten in the excitement of seeing his whole team for the first time after the season ended?

Gavi made his way over to the two of you, reaching out to Pedri first. You watched as they exchanged a hug before Gavi’s eyes floated over to yours.

“Hey.” His voice was casual, like he was greeting a mailman, or thanking the cashier.

“Hi.”

You closed the space, attempting to hug him, but he grabbed your shoulders stopping you, looking down.

You followed his gaze.

“I don’t want to wrinkle the dress.”

You felt your heart thud against your chest, and while you knew he only had good intentions, the rejection still stung.

You stepped out of his embrace, watching his hands drop to his sides, “Okay.”

The carpet went by in a blur, you posed with Gavi for a few photos before moving to the side and letting him enjoy the spotlight, he had worked hard for it. You took a couple of photos with some of the other teammate's girlfriends and wives before you headed inside.

Once inside, there was still some time left before the actual dinner portion of the gala started. The gala was held for all Spanish football clubs as a celebration of their hard work during the season. It was also a great event to network, giving players the ability to talk with different coaches and directors they otherwise might not have gotten the chance to, allowing for discussions of thinly veiled preseason transfers to commence without the fear of unwanted ears listening in.

You found Gavi in the crowd quickly, linking your arm with his. He looked over at you, a smile taking over his features once he noticed you.

“Glad you found me.”

You noticed with great relief that his eyes still crinkled in the corners when he looked at you,

“I always do.”

The next however many minutes spent till dinner service started comprised of Gavi talking with various different players and directors as you stood like a shiny accessory off his arm, too insignificant to be acknowledged in conversation.

The call for dinner provided you solace from the repetitive conversations and mundane questions. You took a seat next to Gavi and were confused to find both Joao Felix and Antoine Griezmann seated at your table.

You leaned into Gavi, “I thought the clubs sat together?”

“Me too. I think they’re doing alphabetical tonight though.” He whispered.

“Which one’s your least favorite?” You looked up shocked at Gavi’s question, watching a boyish grin take over his features as he tried to hide his laugh, interlacing your fingers on your lap.

You shoved into him lightly, “They’re sitting right there!”

He leaned in closer, nose softly grazing your ear as he spoke, “Yeah but between me and you, I think Joao could have had a better season in Chelsea.”

You shook your head in disbelief, fighting back the smile that was threatening to spill out. Your eyes caught his and for a second it seemed like you had been transported back in time, back to when these types of moments were the standard not the exception, back when it felt like you were on each other sides, back when laughter was the antidote instead of tense silences filled with awkward hello’s.

His eyebrow lifted ask if to ask if you agreed with him, and a small murmur of agreement from you was all he needed before he opened his mouth, ready to hammer his point home, but his attention switched last second.

It was like you could visibly see the shift in his demeanor. First, it was his eyes glancing past yours, seeing the midfielder approaching. Then it was the subtle grip on your hand loosening, his fingers slipping through the gaps. Next, it was the complete shift in body, his posture straightening as he leaned his body away from yours, position shifting to face Pedri who had sat in the spot next to him.

To his credit, Pedri acknowledged the both of you but it was clear Gavi paid no mind to you, not evening sparing you a glance as he became immersed in a conversation with Pedri.

You tried to pretend it didn’t affect you and while you could lie to everyone else, you couldn’t lie to yourself. You had built up this evening up so much in your head, telling yourself that tonight would be the shifting point in your relationship and that everything would go back to the way it once was, but it was shaping up to be another Tuesday you had become all too familiar with.

Why did it feel like you were always competing for his attention?

Your mind was reeling, all the small actions Gavi did that you kept pushing aside, were floating back to the surface, each little remark or dismissal a little tug on your heartstrings till you were sure that if you stayed at the table a for a moment longer you wouldn’t be able to stop the onslaught of tears quickly approaching.

You stood from the table abruptly, catching a few people’s attention, but you gave them a polite smile, or at least you hoped it had been polite, you couldn’t focus on anything but the stinging in your eyes and the sinking feeling in your stomach.

You swiftly walked towards the restroom, glancing over your shoulder to see if anyone had noticed but your eyes fell on Gavi’s form. He hadn’t even bothered turning around.

Of course, he hadn’t.

Somehow that hurt more than anything else.

You were immensely grateful for the single-use restroom as you locked yourself in, shaky hands coming to steady yourself on the sink.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

You were internally screaming at yourself, begging yourself to keep yourself together but the feeling was too overwhelming and before you could stop you felt the first tears slip down. Your shoulders shook as you forced yourself to be silent, embarrassed about someone walking by and overhearing you pitying yourself.

One hand covered your mouth as you muffled your sobs, while the other dug into the stupid marble sink until the skin was pink and indented. The pain acted as a distraction from the unbearable pressure in your chest, and you instinctively pushed your hand harder into the sink.

Your fingers felt numb as you slowly removed them, closing your eyes to steady yourself. It was obvious that you weren’t in the best mental state, but you couldn’t exactly sit in the bathroom for the next hour to sort it out. You had to clean yourself up and go back to pretending.

Yes, pretending, you realized, was exactly what you had been doing. This whole night you had been pretending, pretending everything was okay, pretending that your relationship was fine when in truth you couldn’t even remember what Gavi’s laugh sounded like.

When had it become all pretend?

Was there anything left here? Were your best years behind you both?

These unanswered questions haunted you as you calmed yourself down, wrapping around you like a blanket, one that provided you no comfort but rather a feeling of suffocation.

Finally, your eyes had dried, and the redness had faded significantly. You had gotten your breathing under control, and you felt a little lighter having stopped denying what had been plaguing your mind for weeks now.

You took one final glance in the mirror, smoothing out your dress as you exited the restroom.

You walked slowly back to the table. You had decided that if you could just get through tonight, go home, and cry and think some more, then by tomorrow morning you would be able to talk to Gavi and decide what to do.

But that plan had flown out the window when you arrived back at the table to a confused Gavi.

It seemed he had finally noticed your absence.

“Where did you go? They served dinner 15 minutes ago.”

“I had to use the restroom.”

“For 15 minutes?”

“There was a queue.” You lied.

He seemed to accept your answer and you chose to focus on your food rather than him.

You were halfway through your meal when you noticed Gavi giving you a double take from the corner of your eye.

“Your eyes are red.” He spoke in a hushed voice.

“I don’t know why.”

“Are you sure?” His attention was beginning to slip again, eyes darting back between you and Pedri.

“Yes, I’m fine.” You heard your voice waver on the last syllable, a tick you had when you were lying, and Gavi immediately picked up on it, facing you fully.

“What’s wrong?”

You shook your head not wanting to get into everything here.

“I’m ok.”

“You’re not.”

“Gavi.” You warned.

“What happened? Did someone say something?”

“No. Just drop it please.” Your voice had gone soft, tired of defending yourself.

“Y/n just tell me, I’ll help.” He urged.

You stayed quiet.

“What’s wrong?” He asked again, adamant to get an answer.

You felt yourself grow annoyed, why couldn’t he just let it go? Why was he suddenly interested in how you felt? You were just trying to protect what little left the two of you had and he seemed intent on destroying it.

“It’s you.”

He looked taken aback, eyes pooling with hurt and confusion, his body slightly deflating, “W-what?”

The moment was interrupted when the announcer took over the stage, beginning the presentation for the night, highlighting a few key players and matches.

You looked away first, turning to face the stage, clapping along, acting as though you couldn’t feel Gavi’s gaze burning into your back as he desperately tried to get your attention.

Once the presentation was over you were quick to excuse yourself, using the pretense of going to get a drink as a getaway.

You held your breath as you walked, praying Gavi wouldn’t follow you, and while he got up immediately once he noticed, he was quickly interrupted by another player coming to congratulate him, allowing you to slip away while he watched helplessly.

You let out a huff, leaning against the bar trying to slow your heartbeat.

“Long day?”

You looked over to see Joao standing next to you, watching as the bartender poured his drink.

“Something like that.”

He nodded, “Me too. Been a long couple of days actually.”

You smiled, “Actually, it’s been a long couple of weeks.”

He turned his head to look at you, “I take it back. It’s actually been a long couple of months.”

You raised your hand in mock surrender, “Ok I can’t beat that.”

He grinned, “Yeah not many people can.”

Your expression matched his own, and you gave your order to the bartender before turning to face him again, “So how’s the season been?”

“Shit. Honestly, I’m not even sure why I’m here I played for Chelsea this season not Athletico.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his abruptness.

“Yeah, I saw your first game. A red card first match is pretty brutal.”

His grin only widened, “Oh keeping tabs are we?”

You gave him a playful glare, “Of course gotta know how Barca’s competition is doing.”

“Oh, so you’re a Barca girl?”

“Since the day I was born.” You revealed proudly.

And it was true, even before you had met Gavi, you had loved Barcelona. Growing up in a family of football lovers, your family had declared FC Barcelona as their home club, and you had witnessed so many legends play for Barcelona and so many underdogs find their true passion at the club.

“Can I tell you a secret?” he asked, and you gave him a nod of encouragement, pretending to zip your lips shut making him smile, “Ok well it’s always been my dream to play for Barcelona. Messi was always an idol to me.” He confessed.

Your mouth dropped open in shock before you abruptly shut it, your eyes almost widening comically as you spoke excitedly, “What oh my gosh. I’m in shock. Messi? But you play with Ronaldo!” You gasped.

He laughed at your facial expression, as he whispered, “I know! That’s why it’s a secret.”

You nodded along with his words, sending him a duh expression, “Of course, I won’t say anything I promise.”

“Promise what?”

Gavi had appeared by your side, a firm hand set on your waist, as he gently tugged you back into his body.

You peeked up at Gavi to see he was already looking down at you, jaw set. You gulped.

“Nothing much, just talking about the season.” You replied.

You saw Gavi’s eyes flicker between the two of you before he brought you closer, “Can we please talk?”

You bit your lip unsure but nodded.

He slipped his hand into yours as he led you to a quieter area. You waved goodbye to Joao as Gavi pulled you through the crowd, and he held his drink up in response.

He was a nice guy. You hoped next season would be better for him than the last.

He guided you to a standing table and propped your hands on the table as he played with the ring on your index finger.

“This a really pretty ring, is it new?” He asked eyes focused on your fingers.

“No, I got it last month.”

“I haven’t seen you wear it.”

“I’ve worn it every day since I got it.”

“Oh.”

You gently removed your hand from his, knowing that talking circles about something so small was going to get you nowhere.

“What do you want Gavi?” You asked quietly.

His voice came out gravelly, “I want to know how I let it get to the point where you feel more comfortable calling me Gavi rather than Pablo.”

His words when straight to your heart, and you could feel his pain almost as much as you could feel your own.

“I-I don’t know.”

You heard his breath falter, “I miss you calling me Pablo. Hell – I even miss you calling me Pablito. I’d take anything over whatever this is.” He gestured pointing between the two of you.

“Ok then let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about where it went wrong.”

His eyes lifted at your words, “Why are you speaking in the past tense?”

You remained silent.

“Amor please, why are you speaking in past tense?” You could hear the panic building in his voice.

“I think we don’t spend enough time together.”

“Ok we can fix that. No problem.” He agreed, desperate to save what was slowly unraveling.

“But do you want to? Fix it I mean?”

“Of course, I do. Please just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” His voice was almost near begging, and you knew without a doubt that you were in a similar state.

You couldn’t believe that this was happening here, in front of all these people, but it wasn’t fair to either of you to hold it any longer. You had to have this conversation sooner or later and it seemed like tonight was the time for it.

“Sometimes I feel like you don’t have time for me.” You finally admitted what you had been feeling for the last month.

He shook his head rapidly, “I do! But I mean we both have such busy schedules, you have even less time than I do with school.” he argued, “You also have work so that cuts down on the time we have too, but I’m not complaining.”

You were trembling with anger as you spoke, but you kept your voice low, “Yes, because I have to work a job to be able to afford college. I hate the hours probably more than you do, but I do it because I have to. I don’t have an option. I want to go to school? I have to fund it. But you? You didn’t have to go out with the guys after practice or stay around Ansu’s to play FIFA, but you did. That was a choice you made.”

He opened his mouth to retaliate but you weren’t done, “And I’m not even mad about that. I’m mad that for the last month, you’ve put me below every other person in your life, treated me like I’m dispensable, someone who you only consider when you need something. I feel cheap. Like something you only want when it’s convenient to you.”

“That’s not true. You’re my girlfriend!” His voice shook as he spoke, and you realized he was probably just as scared as you were.

“Then why do I feel like I’m not?” Your voice came out soft, barely above a whisper, but it felt like delivering the final blow to an already sinking battleship.

You felt his eyes on you, eyes glazing over as hundreds of unushered words filled the space between you, but the moment was cut short, and you had to remind yourself that you were in public as Xavi approached the two of you.

You gave Xavi a quick hug before he congratulated Gavi on a great season.

Gavi only nodded, murmuring short responses, eyes glancing at you every few seconds like he was scared you would disappear from his life if he wasn’t watching.

He left after a moment, and then the two of you were alone again.

“I’m sorry Y/n, I had no idea that’s why you were working. I would’ve given you the money if you just said something-“

“I don’t want your money Gavi! It’s yours, not mine.” You said exasperated.

“C’mon Y/n you know I have enough to provide for the both of us. You don’t have to work-“

“I don’t want that! In fact, right now I don’t even want to be in this relationship!”

The boy physically shrunk back at your words, your admission sending him into silence as he processed your words.

Finally, he spoke, head shaking in denial, not wanting to admit what was right in front of him, “I-I don’t understand.”

You wanted to yell at him to notice all the signs you’d been sending him, beg him to understand the things you couldn’t say but had always been lurking in the shadows, easy enough to make out if you just paid attention. You wanted to scream that it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair that Gavi got to pursue his passion while you were being told to give up yours. Your head was filled with millions of things you wanted to say to him, thousands of little moments you wanted to share with him, you wanted to confide in him about how scared you were, how you had never felt like this in your life, how the thought of him slowly falling out of love with you was ripping your insides apart, making you sick to your stomach. There were so many things but not one left your mouth.

“I know you don’t.” Your voice sounded tired, even to your own ears, and you wondered if this was it. If this is where the two of you parted ways.

“I-I’m just going to go home.”

“I’ll grab our coats.”

You placed your hand gently on his, giving him a sad smile, “It’s ok. I think I’ll go alone.”

Neither of you could deny what it meant.

He ducked his head so you couldn’t see his red eyes. There was a moment of silence, and you could tell he was fighting with himself, trying to figure out what to do to stop the inevitable, until he slowly nodded,

“Ok.”

He had just sealed your relationship closed, something you were grateful for because you knew you couldn’t have done it yourself.

He didn’t lift his head as you walked away, and you didn’t blame him.

You grabbed your coat quickly, bidding goodbye to a few people as you made your way out of the hall.

As you walked down the hallway towards the main doors you realized you didn’t have a ride back. Your roommate had dropped you off and you assumed Gavi would drop you back. Well, that wasn’t happening now. Train it was. One glance out the window told you it was raining, downpouring to be exact.

How fitting. At least the weather matched your mood.

You stepped outside, immediately becoming drenched, but somehow you found comfort in it, at least this way no one could see you cry.

You were about halfway down the steps when you heard the door slam open, yelling coming from behind you.

You spun around, surprised to see Gavi stepping into the rain, “Please stay. Please.”

You stood frozen, unsure of what to say.

You were sure he wouldn’t follow you. But he had.

He kept taking steps closer to you, closing the distance, till you were only two steps apart, “Stay.”

His eyes searched your own, looking for something, maybe a sign that there was hope, something you weren’t sure you could provide.

“Just let me go. We can talk about this tomorrow.”

He shook his head, breath unsteady, “No I can’t. I can’t. I feel like if I let you go now, I’ll never see you again.”

You bit your cheek looking away, he was right. After tonight you had no intention of talking to him again.

His shoulders drooped at your silence, and he sat down on the steps of the building, harsh rain pounding down on him, matting his hair and drenching his extremely expensive suit, but he didn’t seem to care, “I hate fighting with you.”

You glanced down at his figure, watching him sit in the rain with his head in his hands, utterly defenseless.

“But I hate even more that it’s my fault, and that I couldn’t see what I was doing until I felt what you did, just for a second, and it hurt like hell.”

“I should have been there for you. I should have made time for you. I knew what I was doing wasn’t right but then I kept thinking it’s fine I’ll make it up to her next time, but next time never happened because I never showed up. I guess I was just so focused on making sure my teammates all liked me, and they had just stopped treating me like a kid, finally inviting me places - and I’m not using that as an excuse because I know it’s a shit one, it’s on me. Nobody forced me to do anything, I just wanted to feel included, and I put everyone else’s feelings above yours when yours was the one that was the most important to me.”

He finally lifted his head, and he was close enough that you could see the tears streaming down his face as he looked intently at you, almost like he was trying to memorize you, “If you want to walk away you can, you should - I’ll understand. I just wanted to apologize, really apologize, and own up to everything I did. I love you, and I promise you I won’t take anyone for granted the way I did with you.”

Your expression mirrored his own, and the tears were falling freely at his confession now that it was just the two of you. All the things you had wanted him to realize he had. All the things you wished he had said, he finally did.

But was it too late?

“Thank you, Pablo.”

He let out a short laugh through his tears, “No, thank you.”

You gave him a soft smile before you put distance between the two of you, letting the rain mask the sound of you leaving.

The lights from the venue grew dimmer as you continued walking, and you spared one last glance over your shoulder before it disappeared from view, seeing Gavi’s tiny figure rooted in place, watching you leave.

Your steps faltered.

How could you leave this relationship, this boy, when every single warning sign was going off in your brain, telling you to turn around and fight, to not give up? He had understood, he had understood exactly what you had felt, and had owned up to his mistakes, what else could he have done? He couldn’t go back and make it better, but he could change the way he treated you, but how would you acknowledge the change if you didn’t stick around?

It didn’t feel right walking away.

You thought you would feel content, feel like the pressure was lifting from your shoulders, but the dropping feeling in your stomach was multiplying, and your heart was constricting painfully at the thought of never seeing him, never laughing with him, never kissing him again, at the idea of falling in love with someone that wasn’t him.

You never ran faster in your life.

Let him be there. Please let him be there.

You didn’t know how you could explain yourself if you had to walk back into the event sopping wet, eyes puffy, and nose runny.

You couldn’t stop the wide smile that stretched across your face as he realized he was right where you left him.

You sat next to him and he didn’t notice until you spoke.

“Pablo.”

His head shot upon hearing your voice, and his face lifted for a second before falling again, “Di-Did you forget something?”

You nodded.

“Ok I can get it for you, what is it?” He cleared his throat, trying to make his voice clear.

You shifted closer to him, bodies pressed against each other, “I forgot that I love you. I love you and I want to work this out. I’m happy that you took responsibility and I believe you. I believe that you won’t do it again. But I should apologize too – I also wasn’t fair to you, and I did things that I shouldn’t have just to get back at you for making me feel so small.”

“I’m sorr-”

You cut him off, “Let’s stop apologizing.”

He nodded, eyes looking at you with nothing but love and admiration,

“Ok but we’ll have to work on our communication.” He said, and you hummed in agreement.

You touched your forehead with his, staring at each other with baited breaths until he finally closed the distance and kissed you. After a month of not seeing each other, you were finally kissing, pouring all your emotions, all your love, all your pain into the kiss, making a promise to be there for each other, and it felt like coming home.

alternate ending

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outsideratheart · 9 months

Text

Home Part 2 (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: Sorry it’s taken me so long to get this next part out but writer’s block has been a bitch.

You spent much longer mingling and people pleasing than you had hoped. The plan was to do a quick lap of the room then spend the night with you family only that didn’t happen. At first you were worried about Alexia, with her being in an environment that was unfamiliar and surrounded by people she didn’t know but every time you looked over you found her having a blast with your sister in laws. You wonder if she missed your presence but that question was quickly answered when you returned to her.

The Cruyffs; present, future and Alexia were all at the bar. She feels you beside her and just as she turns around someone pushes into you and you find yourself very close to Alexia.

“Hello you” you whisper.

With the close proximity you could smell Alexia’s perfume. It was your perfume which she must have taken from your bag when you wasn’t looking.

“Have you done your duties?” Alexia asks and you nods your head, a smirk tugging at your lips “then you can have another one of these?”

She takes a shot from your brother and hands it to you. It seems that Alexia’s new found comfort was all thanks to the liqueur which you knew is drank by the bottle at events like this.

“Thank you” you take the shot without breaking eye contact.

Even after the mouthful of alcohol you cannot take your eyes off Alexia. She truly did look beautiful. This event had been the reason for so much anxiety but since touching down in the city you barely felt any of it and you knew that the reason was the woman standing in front of you. You wasn’t feeling grief and you wasn’t consumed by the past. Alexia made you focus on the present and you cannot remember being this happy in years.

“I think we should leave” you whisper in her ear. Your hand sat dangerously low on her back.

“Why would you want to do that?” Alexia asks and you can tell that she genuinely wanted to stay.

“Because there’s things I want to do and I can’t do them here”

“And what would that be?” Alexia again asked a question but the change in her tone told you she knew exactly what was going through your mind. She also have the confidence given the confession Liv and Mia made earlier.

“Let me take you home and I will show you”

At this point Alexia pulls away to get a better look at you and to see if your being serious but with the hold you have on her you are able to pull her back towards you.

“Not to interrupt your moment” Luuk says apologetically

“Again” Jordi adds earning a slap from you.

His words gain the attention of the others. No doubt them all wondering what he meant by again.

“You know the rules Y/N. The children have to stay till 11 then we are free to go”

“2 hours” Alexia says after looking at her watch.

“Me and Jordi normally leave earlier than that and leave Luuk to deal with mum”

You and Jordi share a look. He may technically be older but the two of you are like twins and your mother knows best than to force to be somewhere you don’t want to be. She did it before and you both caused havoc which lead to you father kicking you out of the event.

“Give it an hour then we will sneak out”

Alexia nods her head wondering whether or not the next hour will pass by quickly or if it will drag. It wasn’t a thought that lasted long because you pulled her to the dance floor. It wasn’t like a dance floor at a club but the Cruyffs knew how to have a good time so there were plenty of guests dancing the night away. It meant you and her were able to blend in without bringing too much attention.

The idea of dancing came from an innocent place, well a mostly innocent place. You wanted to find a way to pass time but the intention soon changed when you found yourself dancing against Alexia and felt her hand on your lower abdomen. It wasn’t dirty dancing but it was enough to flood your mind with less than innocent thoughts.

“Stop” you lean back so Alexia can hear you.

“I’m not doing anything”

Whilst she was right, she also couldn’t be more wrong.

You could feel her breath on your neck, it was overwhelming.

“We’re leaving. Now” you grab her hand pulling her towards the exit. You couldn’t care less what you mother would say about your early departure. The only thing you cared about was the Catalonian beauty you were about to take home.

The car ride was filled with anticipation. Very few words were exchanged and truth be told neither of you had a lot to say. Enough had been said and from the words that had been spoken, you and Alexia were able to read between the lines.

You grab Alexia’s hand the moment you are through the door as you lead her upstairs to your bedroom, to the room the two of you were to share for night.

This wasn’t you first time nor was it Alexia’s but you weren’t in any rush.

“Will you help me, porfa?” Alexia asks.

The brunette turns around and pulls her hair to the side to give you better access to the zip of her dress. Given that she had already taken off her heels, you k=now had the height advantage. You stood behind her but instead of undoing her dress like Alexia asked, you rest you hands on her hips and place a soft kiss to the side of her neck.

“Don’t tease” Alexia makes no effort to move, instead relishing in the feeling that is your lips against her skin.

“As you wish” with one last kiss you turn you attention back to the zip making sure to take your time. Once you are done you tap Alexia on her hip assuming that she plans on going to the bathroom to take it off only that isn’t her plan.

“Take it off” Alexia turns to face you.

Her eyes are dark and you see the lust growing within them. She wants what you want yet you find yourself hesitating. You hand sits on her shoulder, on the top of the material of her dress but you make no move to rid her of it.

“What are you waiting for? Is something wrong?”

“I’m taking in the moment in case it never happens again”

It took a second for Alexia to recognise the look in your eye. It was a mixture of uncertainty and insecurity. She wasn’t sure if you would believe her words so she showed you how much the moment meant to her. The brunette leans forward and gently placed her lips on your own. There is no hunger or desperation. The kiss slow but filled with more passion than either of you had ever experienced before.

With a new found confidence and a focus on the present you pull the straps down exposing her perfect body. Once the dress is on the ground you take her hand and help her out of it.

She stands in front of you in nothing but a black lace matching set.

“You. Are. Beautiful” you tell her, each word followed by a kiss to her lips.

“Can I?” Alexia asks as she plays with the fabric on the front of your dress.

It seemed only fair that you let her undress you so you nod in agreement and before you know you are both standing in nothing but your underwear.

“I want you Y/N. I have since the first night I met you. I only wish I would have told you sooner”

“I’m right here and I’m all yours” no words had ever been more true than these in this very moment.

Hearing you say those words was like music to Alexia’s ears. It was a sweet melody at the beginning on the song that would be your first night together.

This woman who you had known for less than a year knew your body as if it was her own. Each movement made you want more. Every touch set your body on fire and every kiss make you believe that the love you saw in movies was possible. She knew just what to do for you to reach a new climatic height and you in suit showed her just how much you worshipped her body.

Your bodies collapsed on the bed a couple of hours later and it seemed to be perfect timing because just as Alexia laid her head on your chest, you heard the rest of the family come through the front door. Knowing that they wouldn’t come in, you made no effort to move and you tightened your hold on Alexia so that she didn’t move either.

As you lay there the silence caused your mind to wander and to no surprise of your own it goes back over the intimacy you and Alexia had just shared.

Alexia felt the hitch in your breath. She adjusts her position and sees you staring deeply at the ceiling.

“Hola, what’s going on in the beautiful head of yours?”

You didn’t feel her move but you certainly wasn’t complaining about the closeness that Alexia was currently in.

“Did that—does this—“ You didn’t want to finish either sentence because you knew that there was a chance Alexia would answer in the worst way possible.

“You told me you’re mine and now I’m telling you that I’m yours Y/N, there is nobody else out there for me. That much I know is true”

“I was hoping you’d say something like that”

The woman laid back down in your arms and remained quiet. It took a couple of minutes for you to realise it was because she had fallen asleep, clearly exhausted by the nights events.

The smile that tugs on your lips is out of your control. It seemed to be a theme with Alexia. She had all the control, all the power and held all the cards. You didn’t have a choice in falling for her, nor did you have a choice when she became the highlight of your day. Her company is the one your crave for. For Alexia you let your heart lead and it lead you to her.

#legacy series #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas one shot #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso one shot #barcelona femeni x reader #barcelona femeni one shot #Barcelona femeni imagine #espwnt x reader #espwnt one shot #espwnt imagine

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foxy-eva · 10 months

Text

Sub!Spencer Headcanons

Content Warnings: (18+, minors DNI) Sub!Spencer, Dom!Reader, mentions nicknames, praise kink, punishment, begging, edging/orgasm control, mild degradation

You noticed early on how much effect it had on Spencer when you'd take over control and playfully call him good boy in the bedroom. When he finally opens up about his desires, you make sure that he feels safe enough to tell you about everything he yearns for.

He wants nothing more than to be able to stop thinking and just be there to please you. More than once has he fallen down to his knees to practically beg you to let him forget everything but you.

He is very good at listening and following your demands. You reward him with endless praise, telling him how amazing he does and how pretty he looks with his widened eyes and his cheeks all rosy.

He loves when you take control over his pleasure, edging him for what feels like hours until he begs you to allow him to finish. In those moment when he seems so pitiful and pathetic and all his moans have turned into whimpers and sobs, you truly know how much Spencer trusts you to always take care of him.

He loves to be good for you, to do everything you ask him to. The only thing his struggles with is patience, he's always a little bit too eager (or desperate). But he knows that you'd only ever punish him in ways that are very pleasurable for the both of you.

When you have him at the point where any coherent thought has long left his brain, you like to tease him about it. It amazes you how it only takes a few moments to turn him from a boy wonder to your personal good boy.

After making him fall apart all night you love nothing more but to carefully put him back together again. You like to hold him inside your arms, his head on your chest, while you whisper sweet nothings into his soft curls. In those moments he craves your touch more than anything else in the world.

Even when he's all spent and exhausted his will to please doesn't stop, so he doesn't question it when you tell him to have a glass of water and some snacks or to get into the shower with you.

He can also be stubborn at times, insisting that it's his job to provide aftercare, too. So more often than not you end up taking care of one another, making each other feel loved and safe.

Thank you for reading! If you are you looking for more Sub!Spencer content check out my stories Debut, Lipstick Stains and Teaching & Teasing

Find my MASTERLIST here

Taglist: @nomajdetective @reidsbookclub @gspenc @justreadingficsdontmindme @samuel-de-champagne-problems @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @malindacath @pauline5525mgg @sanaz1dlol @luredwithpretzels @reidselle @alexxavicry @frickin-bats @spencersprettyslut @sebs-oxygen @beepbooptoop @lovejules888 @liltimmyst @encyclo-reid-ia @lilibet261 @fandomstuffff @spencer-reid-wonderland @happymangospot @conniesanchor @reaux02 @ellamaianderson @cynbx @dashneydanger @melifluorei-d @bitchassbecky691 @iameternallylonely @hotchandspencearedilfs @kobaltdragon @amititties @castiels-majestic-wings @torigorie @emiliaserpe @thenerdthatwrites @reidtopia @velvetthunder93 @cncoxlifeline @jordie-gvf-admin @saturnstringz @missabsey @spencerslove @guacam011y @whoopdy-doo @hugyourlungs @reiderwriter

#spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid headcanons #spencer reid headcanon #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction

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toxicanonymity · 5 months

Text

steady as she goes.

3.5k, Clement Mansell x f!reader | spotify playlist CHARACTER BACKGROUND: He does a lot of crimes but car theft is the only thing referenced. He loves Jack White 🎶. He's sexy and has swagger. Hot clips with audio 🥵 🥵 SUMMARY: He takes you out on his idea of a date. WARNINGS: I8+, unsafe p in v (car), creampie. Praise. Mild hybristophilia (craving that criminal cock). Canon-typical destruction of property. Reader can straddle him. Jack (White) gets cucked (by Clem's vocals). ONE SHOT. A/N: Dedicated to @milla-frenchy: happy 500 followers! 🎉 well-deserved (masterlist). I'm so glad we share an interest in this man. And THANK YOU, gifmakers!! Always inspired by gifs from @boydholbrook-fan, @ilovewhiteroses, and more. Co-written with my partner, "Jordi" 🖤.

A car cruises down your street blasting music, but you don't think it's Clement. It's too early. The sun is just starting to set, and you're fresh out of the shower. It's still an hour before he’s supposed to pick you up. But sure enough, the loud rock music gets close enough to make out the White Stripes. You look out the window, and his classic car is rolling into your driveway with the top down. Shoot. You're not ready. But goddamn, he looks good. Too good to worry much about the time.

You grab the closest item of clothing - a black slip dress – and throw a silk robe on over it. As you rush down the stairs, the car door opens outside. You wait a minute for him to ring the doorbell, but he doesn't. You stick your head outside and he's reclining with his butt against the passenger door and his arms crossed. You slip on a pair of shoes and go out to the driveway.

********************************

This man is wild. You can tell already, and you met him just last night.

He came into your bar. You took his order and he said, “Whatever you’re drinkin’.” You were only drinking coke with grenadine, but to your surprise, he nodded without hesitation. You made the drink and watched him take his first sip. “Man, this shit ain't bad,” he said. He had big energy, and his presence really commanded the room despite how casual and carefree he acted. He put the Raconteurs on the jukebox.

Throughout the night, you felt his eyes on you and had a few tense moments. His hand grazed your hip as you passed each other. When you came to give him a refill, he introduced himself before going to play pool. At one point, when he was leaning forward to line up his shot, you noticed a gun sticking out of the back of his pants. You discreetly warned him that the manager would kick him out if she saw it.

“Keepin’ me outta trouble. That sure is nice of ya, sugar.”

You smile shyly. “Just hide it,” you tell him

“Why don’tcha come on out and watch me put it away?.”

His charm was irresistible.

You quickly found yourself out in the parking lot, pressed up against his car with his nose dragging up your neck. “Mmm,” he hummed into your skin. “Not every day a lady sees my gun.” You felt something against your hip, looked down, and were startled to see him holding the gun. “It's okay baby,” he reassured you, then opened the passenger door to the car. “Wanna touch it?”

“That's okay,” you shook your head, still flustered. “It looks nice though.”

“Yeah? How ‘bout I let ya shoot it tomorrow?” he asked as he leaned over to open the glovebox.

“Really?” You asked, heart fluttering.

He acted like he was mentally debating it, then laid his weight into you against the car again. He rested his hands loosely on your sides. “Really,” he murmured, then leaned in for a slow kiss -- no tongue, but it felt pornographic nonetheless. “Pick you up at eight.”

Instead of going back inside, he got in his car and peeled off, blasting the White Stripes.

********************************

You take in the view of Clement leaning against his car in your driveway. He's wearing a dark, button-up shirt and a chain. His shapely arms stretch the material.

“You're really early,” you smile, almost breaking into a laugh. “Wanna come in while I finish getting ready?”

“I dunno about that,” he drops his hands to his sides, then stands upright and slowly steps forward. He looks you up and down and his voice becomes sultry as he gets closer. “Look ready to me.”

You assure him it'll only take fifteen minutes.

“I dunno if I can wait that long,” he murmurs as he comes within arm’s reach. He runs his hands down your sides, his expansive palms gliding over the silky robe.

You suppress a giggle. “You can wait fifteen minutes.”

“Course I can,” he murmurs, getting right up against you. He brings his mouth to your ear and lowers his pitch. “But I ain't gonna.” He grabs your ass. “Mmm.”

Your cheeks heat up. Has he noticed you're not wearing panties? “Look perfect,” he insists. He goes to open the passenger door. All the thoughts are gone from your brain.

You get in the car, no bra, no panties, no jacket. And somehow you feel completely comfortable.

Clement rests a broad, veiny hand on your thigh as he drives. His touch is light, and he occasionally takes his hand away to make a turn. When he passes the shooting range and keeps going, you ask, “I thought we were gonna shoot.”

“Oh we are, darlin'. You're gonna be my gorgeous gunslinger.” He smiles and turns up the music.

He drives to the outskirts of the city, pulls into an industrial area, and parks behind a big abandoned building. There's one flood light and it’s buzzing, casting a flickering white light on the gravel.

Clement parks and turns off the car, then gets out. He pulls a six pack out of the back seat. You get out and join him at the back fender.

He opens a bottle of PBR beer and takes a swig, then offers you your own bottle from the six pack.

“I'm good,” you decline.

“You sure?” He asks, holding the new bottle up. It's a Mexican Coke.

“Oh, wow,” your face lights up.

He opens the bottle with a wink and mentions, “didn't have cherry.”

Your heart flutters and your ears get hot as you accept the drink.

You sit on the back of his car talking and enjoying your drinks for a while. You shiver and he asks, “you alright?”

“Well, I'm not really dressed,” you laugh.

“Lucky for you, this car came with a jacket.” He hops off the trunk of the car and reaches behind the driver’s seat. When he returns a few moments later, he’s wearing a vintage brown leather jacket and holding a jacket for you.

“Looks about right, whatcha think?”

“Yeah.” You carefully step down off the car.

"Hold on,” he says and drapes the jacket over one arm. Then he steps in closer and nudges his fingers under your robe, hitting your bare shoulders and giving you goosebumps. He nudges the robe off, and it falls down to your elbows. You take it off. His eyes glue to your chest. You rub your arms. He holds out the jacket for you and you let him put it on.

He looks you up and down and gives a low whistle. “Perfect,” he nods. Then he steps closer and slips his hands inside your jacket, sliding them along your silk dress, then resting warmly on your lower back. He pulls you into him for a hug. Your erect nipples are poking him through the fabric. He lets out a low growl and pulls you in tighter. A warm, mostly soft bulge presses into you and makes you throb. He noses your hair and inhales as he grabs a handful of ass.

“Ready?” He asks in a low growl, and you've forgotten what he's referring to.

“Hm?” You respond.

“Ready to shoot?”

“Uh, yeah.” It doesn't seem like the safest environment, but there's something sexy about it, too. Your gut tells you he's dangerous, but you like it because he makes you feel safe at the same time. Like you’re not the one in danger.

“One second.” He grabs something from under the driver’s seat and puts it in his pocket. It looks vaguely flask shaped but taller. It barely fits. Lastly, he gets his gun out of the glovebox and puts it in the back of his pants.

—

Clement lights a cigarette, then you walk with him toward the floodlight. He puts his arm around you and offers you the cigarette, but you decline.

“Mmm good girl,” he murmurs with the cigarette still in his mouth. “I can tell ya ain't *too* good though.”

“Hey. I turned down beer and cigarettes. How do you know I'm not good?”

“Just got that vibe, baby.” He squeezes your arm. “And I sure am glad.”

There are multiple wide garage doors along the side of the building. You arrive at a door that's lifted up two or three feet. He holds it at the bottom and slides it up another foot or so. You still have to crouch down, and you hold your dress and the jacket against your bare thighs as you do it. It's spooky inside. Way too dark, and the space is derelict.

Once Clement's inside the building with you, he pulls a string hanging from the above. Then he drops his cigarette and the sparks bounce over a dirty concrete floor before he stops it out. Several bulbs buzz awake along the high ceiling, evenly spaced but far apart. The furthest one is against a half painted brick wall. There are crates stacked up along some of the walls and a few in the middle of the space. As you get closer, the light clearly illuminates a host of bullet holes in the back wall. There are also casings on the floor. On the wall to your right, some of the windows are busted out.

He takes his jacket off and lays it on a crate against the wall. He removes his gun from his pants and puts his leg arm around you as he shows it to you. It’s a silver gun with two swallows engraved on the handle. The birds have their wings spread and are facing each other.

“It was my daddy’s,” he says. “Only thing Mama saved for me.”

His face hardens and he turns and aims toward the back wall, triceps bulging under his shirt. He pulls the trigger. The gunshot is loud, but not as terrible as it could be. Debris bounces off the wall.

He hands you the gun, and. you accept it apprehensively.

“Are you sure this is okay? Here?” You have to wonder about people hearing the gunshots, and plus how you're destroying the wall.

“Don't you worry, darlin’. Place won't be around much longer anyway.”

“Okay.”

“Ever shot a gun?”

“Yeah but I'm rusty.”

“You'll be fine, darlin’. Go ahead.” You aim it hesitantly, half expecting the entire wall to crumble. Clement gets behind you and braces his hands on your arms. “Steady now,” he murmurs. His body is so close to yours, you get butterflies. Then he puts his arms around you. He doesn’t help you aim right away. He noses your temple and inhales your scent. “Mmm,” he hums. You relax your arms, holding the gun with your elbows bent. Then he plans a wet kiss on your neck. “Can’t help myself, sugar.” He kisses and sucks at your neck and you moan. He lightly bites you and you take your right hand off the gun to reach back for his head. You're gushing, and wonder if it's going to run down your legs at this rate.

“Mm-mm,” he shakes his head. “Wanna see ya shoot first.”

You let out a disappointed sigh, and he rests his hands on your hips. He presses his pelvis forward, and a hard shape in his pants gives you a rush of need. He murmurs, “You feel that? Oooh.” His hands on your hips pull you back on his bulge. “You can have it when you're done.”

You compose yourself and aim the gun again. He slightly adjusts your arms and directs you toward an unblemished patch of paint straight ahead, just above the exposed brick. “Hit that, and we’re done.”

It only takes you one shot.

“Well hot damn!” He celebrates. “Look at you.” You hand the gun back to him. He slinks around you, hugs you from behind again, and murmurs “don't even need my help, do ya,” then kisses your neck again. “Let's go,” he says into your skin, then retrieves his jacket from the crate. As you're walking back toward the garage door, he turns around and starts walking backwards and whistling. You glance back and he's pulled a bottle of lighter fluid out of his pocket. He's trailing the liquid as he walks.

Your heart jumps to your throat. “What are you doing?”

“Ohh, don't worry, darlin’. It'll burn slow at first. Plenty’a time to get outta here.” He holds the garage door up for you to duck under. He flips the lid of the lighter fluid closed and crams it back in his pocket.

You back away as he takes out a matchbook. He lights a match and drops it into the lighter fluid. The fire races under the garage door and Clement’s eyes are beaming darkly in the glow of it. After a moment, he says, “Woo! Lets go, baby.” You're speechless, and very turned on. He takes your hand in his and charges toward the car. His stride is so long, you're nearly jogging to keep up.

“Hahaaa,” he laughs to himself as he gets in the car. He revs the engine and turns on the music. He pops a breath mint. He sings along with Blue Orchid, and his voice really isn't half bad.

“Where are we going?” You ask.

He looks at you fondly for a moment. “Love a woman who's up for adventure.” He puts his hand behind you to reverse.

As he drives by the building, you crane your neck to see. The fire is only a flickering glow through the busted out windows so far.

He turns down the music only slightly. “Stars are out tonight,” he observes. “Know a spot with a great view,” he offers as you exit the property.

“Ok,” you try to suppress a smile.

“Yeah!” He yells and peels off on the main road. You look up at the stars with the wind in your hair. Soon, he turns onto another dark road, somewhat winding, uphill.

He parks in a dark corner of an abandoned office park. It's littered with empty bottles and faded cans. The chainlink fence has half fallen down, and there are a couple of steel drums. Clement gets out of the car. With most of this part of town abandoned, the light pollution isn't very close. You're up on a hill now, too.

He takes the lighter fluid out of his pocket, squirts it in the barrel, and drops the plastic container in with it. Then he lights the matchbook on fire, drops it. And a blaze quickly grows in the barrel.

Then he gets back in the car and moves the seat back. He leans over and pulls you in for a heated kiss. Then he pulls back and murmurs, “Now get over here” as he takes off his jacket.

—-

Thankfully, the car is roomy and so are the seats. You take off your jacket and put the robe back on. The air is cool and crisp and feels fine. As you climb over to straddle Clement, he greets you with his hands on your thighs. He slides his palms all the way up the backs of your thighs and reaches your bare ass. Then he lifts your little slip dress and says “God *damn*,” at the sight of your bare cunt. “If I knew this. . .”

“You didn't let me get ready,” you lightly punch his chest with a hint of laughter, cheeks burning. He chuckles.

“Well good. Guess I'm *never* gonna let ya get ready.” Your heart flutters at the implied future. He sticks his left hand between your legs and cups your bare cunt. “Oh, baby.” You hover above his thighs while he leans back and unbuttons his pants, then unzips and pulls them down to expose a massive bulge in his white briefs. Your breath hitches at the sight.

He grabs your ass and pulls you forward so your crotch meets his cotton-clad bulge, and a shock of desire spreads through your body like fire. He thrusts upward and you moan at the contact of his warm, hard, package. He kisses you and uses his hands on your hips to rub you against him with your mouths connected. He breaks the kiss with a sigh and says, “Fuck, let's go.” He shoves his hand down his briefs and you allow him the space to take out his commanding cock and balls. Your mouth falls open.

“Not as huge as it looks,” he reassures you. “Gonna love every inch of it.” You nod. It's the girth that has you wide-eyed.

“Oh you're drippin’ on me, sugar.” He lets his thick manhood rest against his lower belly and pulls you in so your clit presses against his warm, smooth shaft and you’re aching to have him inside you. “Let’s feed this hungry pussy already.”

He holds his cock as you hover over it then begin to slowly lower yourself, getting closer to entry. You pause, and he runs his tip through your dripping folds and helps spread the slick down his shaft. Then he nestles his tip at your entrance and you twitch.

You begin to sink down on him, with his tip spreading you wide open. “Mmm,” you whine.

“Yeah, good girl. . . you can take it, baby.” It's every bit as big as it looks. You sink down, feeling taken apart in the best way, and he pulls you down flush.

Speared on his engorged cock, pleasure races through your chest and thighs, out to every inch of your body.

“You good?” He asks, chest heaving.

You rise up then sink back down.

“Attagirl,” he murmurs. “want ya to hear somethin’.” He reaches for the tape deck and changes the cassette. He presses play and it's Ball and Biscuit by the White Stripes.

“I know this one,” you smile. It's a sexy, languid alt blues song.

“Just wait for the next one,” he murmurs, looking at you with a raging lust in his eyes. His cock twitches inside you. He pulls your face into his again and lifts his hips, pushing farther into you. You've never felt so full. “Oh baby,” he breaks the kiss. “You feel so good.” His face is so handsome in the flickering fire light. His blue eyes look almost black. The slice of bare flesh in his eyebrow is too sexy. You run your hands through his hair and he groans at the light rake of your fingers against his scalp.

He lifts into you to the beat of the song. You begin to roll your hips in sync with him.

“Ohhh, yeah,” he breathes. Part of you wants him to lose control and ravish you, but this slow fuck is perfect for the intense stretch of your cunt around his cock.

You kiss and moan as your bodies move together, and the pleasure swells deep inside you, all around his cock. He nudges the silk robe off your shoulders and pulls down the straps of your dress. He groans at the sight of your breasts. He covers one with a hand and one with his mouth and his whole body is moving in time with the music. Your chest feels light. For the rest of the song, your body is wrapped around his, and his hips are slightly lifting you with each thrust.

The same song starts over, but it's not the same singer. The voice is smoother, deeper than Jack White’s. You pull your head back to listen. Clement studies your face, and it takes you a few seconds to recognize the vocals. It’s him, Clement.

“Holy shit,” you mutter, and his face comes to life. “Your voice is–God.” It's hard piecing sentences together impaled on him.

“You really like it,” he marvels.

“Of course I do, it's . . . perfect.”

His eyes soften with affection and he kisses you deeper, smoothly thrusting. He seems to take up all the space in your body.

The passion between you intensifies until it might burst. You need all of his body. You break away from a messy kiss to undo one of his shirt buttons, then another, and he unbuttons the rest in a hurry, and leans back against the chair as you spread his shirt. His chain sparkles in the firelight. It's hanging slightly above a chest tattoo that has the same birds as the gun. His tan skin glistens in the flickering glow.

You plant your hands on his hard pecs to ride him. The movement of his hips becomes more pronounced, and soon he's taken over. He thrusts upward sharply but smoothly and starts fucking you from the bottom, grunting and sighing. He pulls you down on him each time he thrusts. You moan, feeling like you're on the brink.

He pulls you close again and kisses you sloppily while your bodies move as one. “Clem, I'm gonna–”

“Mmm,” he cuts you off. He grunts and moans against your mouth. He's close too.

“I'm gonna fill ya up, baby. . .You want that?” he pants.

You nod.

“You want big Clement dribbling’ down your thighs?”

You nod urgently.

“That's my girl.” His massive hands move you on his cock, and you whimper as you begin to unravel. You clench around him, and he fucks you through it. Then he grunts as he thrusts upward “nngg—ohhhh, uugggh.” He pulses into you, warmth spreading in your core as you finish choking his cock.

You collapse into his arms and twitch with aftershocks as he cradles your head. After a minute, you're still impaled on him and he says your name. You pull your head back.

He looks back and forth between your eyes. A firetruck siren interrupts you. There are more sirens in the distance. Clement shifts his head to look past you, through the windshield, through the broken chain-link fence. His eyes illuminate warmly and he breaks into a small smile. You look behind yourself to see a building on fire in the distance. It's now half engulfed in flames.

What a view. This man is wild, and you can't get enough of him.

-------- -------- Thank you so much for reading!! If you want, you can subscribe to notifications on @toxicfics for all my fics. If you want to be on a Boyd Holbrook character tag list lmk but fyi I sometimes write dark. I have a dark fic rn called The Raid with Steve and Javi. Javi captures reader to make her get clean (off drugs) and she's very horny for them. Steve shows up in part 2, then he has his own PWP one shot, Javi isn't home. Series ongoing.

#clement mansell #clement mansell x reader #justified:city primeval #boyd holbrook #justified fanfiction #clement mansel #boyd holbrook smut #clement mansell smut #boyd holbrook fic #toxicanonymity ☠️#boyd bungalow ☠️#👱‍♂️

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lady-ashfade · 1 year

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Hello Darling, I was wondering if I could get Kaz thing were him and reader have know each other for ages and like with Jordie and she is the old person Kaz is kinds ok with touching, so one day when a heist goes wrong and Y/N gets hurt and Kaz is like freaking out thinking she's going to die and stuff and its like super fluffy and and like Y/N heals and Kazoo like doesn't leave her side

If you could do this it would be amazing

I’m right here.

Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader

Hope I did this okay! Thanks for the request 🌸

Notes: This is short and fluffy. I also can’t do good aid or this type of thing so I hope it’s okay!

Warning: Pain to comfort, a little angst, blood, crying in pain, bad writing for sure, spelling mistakes probably.

The group rushed through the door almost breaking it off the hinges. “Get her upstairs.” Kaz shouted as Matthias held you in his arms, Nina by his side focusing on your heartbeat. Inej went to the kitchen where you kept your towels and collected everything.

You blood stained Matthias shirt and your eyes flutter, a groan or a whimper leaving your lips a few times. As soon as they got to the top floor of your home they rushed to the bedroom. “On the bed.” Nina fixed the pillows and the sheets, then patted the mattress. Matthias nodded his head and put you down carefully and tried not to give your extra pain.

Wylan almost sobbed at the sight of your arm falling and going limp. You knew who he was, who was his father and you never shamed him for it. He loved you and cared deeply, you were his best friend. Wylan turned away and into Jesper arms, who took him into his arms quickly. “Is she going to be okay?” He asked and kaz shot him a glare that he couldn’t see.

“Yes, now everyone out except Inej.” Nina’s hand tugged at your bloody shirt and they all went out quickly. Kaz stood still and looked at you, “Kaz, she’ll be fine.” Inej rushed passed passed him with her arms full and went by Nini. “I’m staying.” They didn’t have time to fight with him, but they knew even if they did he would stay.

They had no choice but pull your shirt off and leaving you in the thin layer on your chest. Kaz hated seeing your face curl into pain as they cleaned the wound. “Jordie” he remembered the small boy with a body underneath him, shaking it as he cried for his brother. He got light headed and sat down in the chair. Was he going to lose you too? Shaking his head at the thought because he wouldn’t allow that.

A scream cut him out of his thoughts, you opening your eyes as the needle pressed into your skin. “Stop! Please.” You cried at the pain in your side. Nina apologized as she teared up and Inej looked up at you guilty. “Kaz!” You looked up at him and he felt his entire body move on its own and he was by your side within seconds. “Make it stop!” You cried.

He took your hand in his and gave it a small squeeze, “You can handle it.” He stated and you shook your head. A whimper came out as the needle went back, “Can’t.” He leaned closer and rubbed circles on your hand. “You can, I’m right here.” You looked back at him and the pain became too much for you to handle, along with the blood that you lost, or the shock you felt.

Kaz watched your eyes fell closed and your hand losing its grip. He panicked and looked back at your chest and saw it go up and down. “I’m right here.” He whispered. Kaz held your hand the whole time and stayed by your side, even when it was all done. He refused to leave your side, if something happened while he was away he couldn’t live with himself.

Everyone came and stayed for a while, he was there. When everyone left to sleep he stayed there, Nina and Matthias stayed in the other room. Days passed and he was still in the room by your side. He hated the feelings of lose as if the old friend visited him again to take someone else. You couldn’t leave him, he needed you in his life. The light of his life and the feeling of comfort he so rarely felt was only with you.

Kaz sat in the chair beside your bed and his head leaned on the wall behind him with his eyes closed. You stirred yourself awake and took a moment to remember everything. You look around the familiar room and then down at the pain in your side. A bandage wrapped around your side and only in a bra. “Damn.” You cursed and put your head back.

A small snore caught you by surprise and you looked to the side and saw Kaz asleep. He looked calmer then normal but he still had a snarl on his face, it made you laugh a bit. As much as you could without hurting your side. “Kazzel.” You poked his leg. It took a moment and then shot up and it startled you a bit. He looked panicked and then looked down at you, he looked terrified.

“I’m okay.” You whispered with smiled. Kaz blinked as he saw you up and talking. “Y/n.” He pushed up and moved closer to and leaned down the bed. “Kaz, how long have you been here?” He swallowed. “As long as you have been out, you scared the others.” His hand came up to your cheek and softly moved his fingers on the skin.

“I’m not going that easy.” Smirked up at him. He looked at you and his eyes softened. Leaning himself down he pressed his lips against yours and kissed you softly. He was so afraid he would never get to do that again, or to have you in his arms or seen you smile. You took your hand and put it on his chest to remind him that you were still here.

“Good, because I don’t plan on losing you. You’ll stay with me, even if I have to bring you back to life myself.” He whispered against your lips and put his forehead on yours. And he was true, if he had to drag you out of deaths claws he would do it. He’d fight the saints himself to have you stay with him.

“You’re stuck with me, Kaz Brekker.” You teased and connected your lips with his again.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x fem!reader #Jesper fahey #wylan van eck #inej ghana #Nina zenik #matthais helvar #six of crows #six of crows x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #kaz brekker angst #kaz brekker fluff

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just-jordie-things · 9 months

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hey jordie! got any fluffy headcanons of megumi and deaf!reader up your sleeves? thanks!

i will give it a whirl!! please bear with me as i've never personally known any deaf people so if my understanding is off lmk i will correct this post!!

i think he'd be very intrigued by you as first- especially if we're talking in canon and you're a jujutsu sorcerer. i think he'd find your strength impressive

once this interest develops into a full blown crush, he gets awkward.

he starts mumbling more, which isn't good because it's harder to make out what he's saying to you half the time and eventually it starts to cause a strain in your friendship. you don't want to stop hanging out with him, but if he won't do better at communicating with you then what're you supposed to do??

and megumi hates that he feels so nervous around you but he hates not being around you more

so he tries his hand at sign language. and he thinks he should be good at it, most of his jujutsu work is with his hands after all, but he's poorly mistaken.

you understand him less when he tries to give you a proper apology, and eventually convince him to just speak clearly so you can read his lips. he's still nervous, and it might take a couple tries, but there's an understanding between you two.

he finally just asks you to help him with the sign language, because he wouldn't want there to be a barrier between the two of you. he likes you too much for that.

cue some really cute- and also difficult- sign language lessons that slowly begin to morph into dates. some days he brings you your favorite coffee and some days you put on a movie and completely forget to pick up where you left off last session

and then one day he finds the courage to properly ask you out- probably to a little bakery or a bookstore because he's adorable like that. and he asks with perfect sign language

although he thinks he got it wrong for the first few seconds because you don't respond and you look a little dumbstruck

but then you see him panic when he nervously signs to ask if he'd said something wrong, and you're bursting at the seams with joy

i thought you'd never ask you sign back so quickly he doesn't catch it all right away but he fills in the gaps to the best of his ability

#megumi brainrot #fushiguro megumi x reader #megumi x reader #fushiguro megumi headcanons #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jjk headcanons

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newtthetranswriter · 9 months

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One Way to say I love You

Summary: Toge has a weird habit and won’t tell you what it means.

Word count: 797

A/N: Just a little thing I wrote to help with my writer's block. Big thanks to @just-jordie-things for letting me use her idea for this piece. I hope you enjoy and have a good day. MDNI with any of my work even if it’s sfw.

Dating Toge has been amazing. You might think that his limited vocabulary makes it difficult to communicate but it doesn't. We've come up with our own type of communication. It's a mix of sign language and our own jesters that no one else understands. Though there is one thing he recently started doing that I can't get him to explain.

At the most random times he sticks his tongue out at me. It's adorable but I don't understand why. He refuses to tell me as well no matter how many times I ask him about it. He'll just shrug, and walk away. If we're in class he'll tap my shoulder and when I look at him he will unzip his collar, and just stick his tongue out at me.

The weirdest time was we had just finished a small mission we had been sent on. We were both slightly bruised because the curse was stronger than expected and we were waiting for our ride to pick us up. He nudged my shoulder and when I looked at him he was just sticking his tongue out like it was the most normal thing in the world.

As I opened my mouth to ask again why he kept doing that, a car pulled up and the driver ushered us in. Breaking my train of thought. Toge just smiled at me, zipped his collar and climbed into the car. I sighed climbing in as well, thinking about how I can figure out the meaning behind the seemingly random jester.

A few weeks have gone by since Toge started sticking his tongue out randomly and it's driving me crazy. I can't figure it out and now our friends have picked up on it as well. I'm now more determined than ever to figure out why he's doing it.

With today being one of the few days we got off from training and studying I figured I could probably corner him, and make him tell me. After we had breakfast with our friends, we ended up going to his room to relax. When we got to his room he immediately took off his jacket and collar leaving him in just a T-shirt. His adorable markings on full display. Sensing my gaze he looked me dead in the eyes and stuck his tongue out for just a second before laying down on his bed.

I rolled my eyes, before asking a question that seems almost futile at this point. "Why do you always do that?"

Toge just smiled at me, said "bonito flakes" meaning he's not going to tell me and then made grabby hands at me. Motioning for me to lay down with him.

So here we are about thirty minutes later. I was leaning against the head of the bed with his head in my lap. I was just running my fingers through his soft hair. He was so relaxed, slow breathing and his eyes closed so I figured he was sleeping.

Lost in the thoughts of how much I love this little dork. I realized I wouldn't want to be in this position with anyone else. Without thinking too much about it I let the words slip out. "I love you, Toge." It was quiet so I didn't think he would hear me. But when I looked into my favorite pair of violet eyes I knew he heard me.

I stumbled over my thoughts trying to think of a good lie to cover it up, not wanting to scare him away. But then I realized he had sat up and had once again stuck his tongue out at me. I was no longer embarrassed but completely confused as to why?

"Toge, why are you sticking your tongue out at me, I just said I love you, and you stick your..... oh." It finally struck what he meant when he would do that. I blushed as I pieced it together. "Wait have you been saying... this whole time?" I asked, trying to confirm my suspicion.

He nodded with a bright smile and a quiet whisper of 'yeah'. It was rare for him to stray from his rice ball ingredients but when he did it made me so happy. And in this moment it proved he was telling the truth, as he doesn't do that around anyone else. Not even Yuta one of our closest friends.

I returned the smile before leaning in and placing a gentle kiss on each cursed seal on his cheeks before giving him a peck on the lips. He smiled and returned the kiss.

When we separated, we both moved to be laying down silently agreeing that it was time for a nap. We cuddled up to each other and quickly drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu toge #toge inumaki #inumaki toge x reader #toge inumaki x reader

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clownflu64 · 5 months

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My brain looked at sprite versions of Akanemnon's Twin Runes Dark World designs and told me "Hey, you should make Dark World designs for the Another Underground (https://www.tumblr.com/clownfly64again) humans."

I asked it "Why? I haven't even decided if I actually want to do anything with the design I made for a Fun Gang counterpart."

As it turns out, my brain controls my body so I didn't have much choice in the matter. So, Twin Runes but it's Another Underground and whatever I decide to call the Deltarune AU.

Archer Terryn. Idk why but the Dark World sprite looks fluffier to me.

Doctor Jordi. The grape.

Uhhhh... I don't know what I was doing with this design but I like the way it turned out, so I'll just call it Poison Carrie.

Idk if tagging someone in something only kinda related to their creation is considered rude in the Tumblr community but I wanna thank @akanemnon for making such cool stuff and inspiring not only myself but a lot of others.

#undertale #undertale au #twin runes #another underground

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fantastic-nonsense · 3 months

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What are five of your favourite Grishaverse quotes? Send this ask to 5 of your favourite grishaverse blogs!

Thank you so much for sending this, and sorry it took me such a long time to get to it 😭

Choosing was super hard because there are so many insanely good quotes in the books and I love several of them for very different reasons, but I'll try and give it a go anyways. So: five of my favorite Six of Crows quotes (because I still haven't read the SaB trilogy), in no particular order:

Kaz and Inej, on getting back up after a fall:

Get it together, Brekker, he scolded himself harshly. It didn’t help. He was going to faint again, and this would all be over. Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. “The trick is not getting knocked down,” he’d told her with a laugh. “No, Kaz,” she’d said, “the trick is in getting back up.” More Suli platitudes, but somehow even the memory of her voice helped. He was better than this. He had to be. Not just for Jordie, but for his crew. He’d brought these people here. He’d brought Inej here. It was his job to bring them out again. The trick is in getting back up. He kept her voice in his head, repeating those words, again and again, as he stripped off his boots, his clothes, and finally his gloves. -Ch. 22, Six of Crows

Matthias asking for mercy for monsters/the "we are all someone's monster" observation:

“Nina,” he said, hand still pressed over the smooth skin on his chest where a bullet wound should be. “Nina, please.” “You know they would not offer you mercy, Matthias.” “I know. I know. But let them live in shame instead.” She hesitated. “Nina, you taught me to be something better. They could be taught, too.” Nina shifted her gaze to his. Her eyes were ferocious, the deep green of forests; the pupils, dark wells. The air around her seemed to shimmer with power, as if she was alight with some secret flame. “They fear you as I once feared you,” he said. “As you once feared me. We are all someone’s monster, Nina.” -Ch. 41, Six of Crows

Wylan and Kaz's entire conversation about disability and vulnerability while cracking Van Eck's safe:

He thumbed quickly through the ledger and said, “When people see a cripple walking down the street, leaning on his cane, what do they feel?” Wylan looked away. People always did when Kaz talked about his limp, as if he didn’t know what he was or how the world saw him. “They feel pity. Now, what do they think when they see me coming?” Wylan’s mouth quirked up at the corner. “They think they’d better cross the street.” Kaz tossed the ledger back in the safe. “You’re not weak because you can’t read. You’re weak because you’re afraid of people seeing your weakness. You’re letting shame decide who you are. Help me with the painting.” They lifted the portrait back into place over the gaping hole in the safe. Martin Van Eck glared down at them. “Think on it, Wylan,” Kaz said as he straightened the frame. “It’s shame that lines my pockets, shame that keeps the Barrel teeming with fools ready to put on a mask just so they can have what they want with no one the wiser for it. We can endure all kinds of pain. It’s shame that eats men whole.” -Ch. 18, Crooked Kingdom

Inej vs. Dunyasha on the Church of Barter rooftop, refusing to be cowed on her own turf:

“The blood you spill is the blood of kings,” seethed Dunyasha. “You are not fit for such a gift.” Inej almost felt sorry for her. Dunyasha really believed she was the Lantsov heir, and maybe she was. But wasn’t that what every girl dreamed? That she’d wake and find herself a princess? Or blessed with magical powers and a grand destiny? Maybe there were people who lived those lives. Maybe this girl was one of them. But what about the rest of us? What about the nobodies and the nothings, the invisible girls? We learn to hold our heads as if we wear crowns. We learn to wring magic from the ordinary. That was how you survived when you weren’t chosen, when there was no royal blood in your veins. When the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway. Inej raised a brow and slowly wiped the blood of kings on her trousers. -Ch. 35, Crooked Kingdom

And Inej at the harbor...hopeful, in love, and ready to take on the world with her boy and her ship:

Had she really thought the world didn’t change? She was a fool. The world was made of miracles, unexpected earthquakes, storms that came from nowhere and might reshape a continent. The boy beside her. The future before her. Anything was possible. -Ch. 44, Crooked Kingdom

#asks #six of crows #crooked kingdom #soc duology #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar #there are soooooo many good quotes and I honestly wanted to use some of the funny and romantic ones #but these ones jumped out at me upon thinking about them #(the way I wanted to quote the entire kaz-van eck conversation from SOC Ch. 3 about exposing Van Eck's hypocrisy...rip to me)#(also there's a couple of jesper quotes I hold very close to my heart but these ranked just a tiny bit higher)

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she-posts-nerdy-stuff · 1 year

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I absolutely adore your content! I was wondering if you’d like to share your thoughts on a few things I noticed in SOC and CK.

In chapter 3 of SOC, Kaz says that he is bothered by the fact that Inej can vanish so completely- not even leaving behind a scent. Why does this bother him?

In CK, after rescuing Inej from Van Eck, Kaz notices that Inej found soap to bathe with. What does it mean that he can notice her scent now?

When Van Eck is torturing her, Inej promises herself that she will cut out his heart. In the end, though, it’s Pekka Rollins’ heart she begins to cut out. Why Rollins heart? And what would Kaz do or think if he ever found out about what Inwj did to Rollins? Sorry for the long ask. Would love to hear your thoughts.

Thank you so much!! I’m really intrigued by these because they aren’t things I’ve thought about before, but I’ll absolutely have a go at tackling them!!

I think Inej’s ability to disappear, with that particular emphasis on her scent, could easily go hand in hand with the idea of everything Kaz has ever loved so easily slipping through his fingers. If Inej disappeared completely it would be as if she never existed in the first place, not even leaving behind a scent, and I think that concept terrifies Kaz because he has had to live for 8 years watching the world move on as if Jordie never existed, literally erasing him with Kaz barely clinging to life being the only thing that eventually leads Rollins to having any memory of the boys at all. When Inej goes to Rollins and the end of Crooked Kingdom, he identifies her not by her name but as “the Wraith” or “Brekker’s little Suli girl” and I think that’s once again commemorative of the way he doesn’t see people; he sees properties, money, opportunities. His immediate assumption is that Inej has not come of her own volition but has been sent by Brekker, and he also assumes that he can convince her not do it by buying her out - “Whatever he’s paying you, I’ll double it”. Although Rollins likes to glorify himself by comparing himself to Van Eck, he has failed to realise that Inej’s loyalty to Kaz transcends any cost or debt, whereas it took Van Eck all of three minutes to realise the way the pair feel towards each other - “I wonder which will prove more effective, torturing Mr Brekker or making him watch as I torture you”.

I therefore wonder whether noticing the scent of the soap is important because it cements Inej in the real world; in these moments Kaz is vulnerable because his mad pursuit of Inej has left him feeling as though the others can see exactly what he’s thinking about her, his soul laid bare if you will, that no matter how much he claims that it’s all about the job there’s no way he hasn’t heard the others talking about his reaction to losing her. In this moment, when he feels like everything could slip from his grasp and he could lose his sense of reality, it’s Inej - the very thing he’s so terrified of losing - that tethers him to the world by so genuinely and obstinately existing. That might be a bit of reach, I dunno

And then the cutting out of the heart - I love that comparison, I’d never noticed that!!!! That could absolutely be another red herring mixed in with a clever twist of foreshadowing (I made a post about red herrings and foreshadowing in these books if anyone’s interested it’s on my page). It could also link to what Inej said to Van Eck on the bridge at the hostage exchange: “You will see me once more, but only once”. They then see each other after the auction, when Dunyasha’s body is on the ground and Inej is stood on the roof watching them. I think it’s possible that these are different kinds of threats for different kinds of men; Van Eck feared Inej because he saw her as “a thug” and “a blight on this city”, his expectation of her were violence and brutality, so she instead meets him with dignity, eloquence, and grace that elevates her above her societal station and directly juxtaposes the violence and torture that he perpetuates despite his supposed status and civility. In comparison, Rollins expects that no-one can be as tough as he is, no-one is as strong or as frightening as he can be. He expects Inej to be a “little Suli girl”, an unworthy adversary who speaks in riddles of “depressing Suli wisdom” and whom, despite the talent that he does not deny her, is ultimately just “some scrap of a girl from the Menagerie”. So she meets him with violence; she proves her strength and her courage, particularly emphasised by Rollins’ realisation that he hadn’t actually felt pain for a long time, saying “No-one had dared to raise a hand against him in years”, and in doing so solidifies herself as far more than the narrow role he defines her by.

Anyway, those are all spur of the moment thoughts as I hadn’t considered these ideas before I read your question, but I absolutely loved writing it and it was so fun to think about so thank you very much, and I’m so glad you like my posts! :)))

#grishaverse #leigh bardugo #six of crows #crooked kingdom #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #nina zenik #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #kanej #kanej has my whole heart #kanej my beloved #long post #book analysis #fantasy books #literary analysis #dk's grishaverse asks answered

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servantleverslutdrop · 9 months

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What do you think was Kaz's reasoning for getting the "R" tattoo? Was he really worried that he would forget Jordie and being a Rietveld after becoming Brekker when Jordie was his whole motivation for so long? Or was it more in memory of his brother? Or like a memorial to his old self? I also wonder a lot when he got it, right away or later? Sorry if this is random, just it's been on my mind lately and you have good takes on SoC so I thought I'd ask.

Hey, thanks for the ask! Aw, you flatter me lol.

I have to admit I never really thought too hard about it, so if someone has a more nuanced take, feel free to sound off. At the end of the day, it's never really explored, so it's all up to speculation.

I think a reminder of his motivation would be a Very Kaz reason for getting the tattoo, but idk if that's my preferred answer. I would also accept a memorial to his old self and old life, but I'd definitely think of it as a more of a memorial in a "grave marker for the boy who died, as I am the creature who stole his corpse," kinda way, rather than with the sentimentality one usually thinks of when they hear the word "memorial."

Although, one could argue that it was done with more sentimentality than Kaz would like to admit, and that is one of the reasons why Kaz never really goes into it in his POV, as he doesn't like to acknowledge anything good or soft about himself, even in his own mind. I for one, find it interesting that Kaz talks so much about destroying the Rietveld boy and snuffing out his traces, but has decided to keep a part of him on his skin, forever.

#Thanks again for the ask!#kaz brekker #six of crows #soc #book accurate crows #Asks

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adh-james-version · 28 days

Text

Story of a Boy

Singer AU

Song used- “Story of a Boy” by Jordy

- I altered some of the lyrics to fit the story better

- and I HATE tumblrs formatting, so I apologize for how whack it is

Remus hadn't seen Sirius in months, 5 to be exact. The love of his life he hadn't seen in months. He wishes he could say he hasn't seen his boyfriend on months but he never plucked up the courage to actually ask him out before they finished Highschool.

Highschool ended and Sirius had to go back to the home he hated in France for college and Remus' music career took off, and they lost contact. While he technically lived in Wales he was constantly somewhere else for recording, shows, tour, meet and greets.

Remus heard his phone ringing and picked it up. "Hello?" "I GOT HIM TO COME!" Came James very excited and very loud voice, causing Remus to pull the phone away from his ear. "You got who to come to what?" "SIRIUS! I Got Sirius To Come To Your Concert In France Next Week!!" Remus froze for a second, "what." "You're not excited?" "I'm definitely excited but now I'm nervous."

"You can debut that song that you wrote about hime that you never released at the concert!" Remus immediately rejected that idea, "That song doesn't sound right." "Incorrect, you're gonna sing him the song by choice or I'm going to get my boyfriend to change the music so that you have to sing it."

"Regulus wouldn't do that to me."

"He would if I gave him some good dick."

"Oh my god. Fine I'll do it." Remus said knowing that James was right. "You'll thank me later!" James hung up.

Fuck.

————

Concerts never make Remus nervous, never. But today was different, the person he cared about the most was gonna be there. And he was gonna sing him a song. That he wrote. For him. Oh my god. He was internally freaking out but they were calling him on stage so let's go ahead and have fun.

Remus got the rowdy crowd to be quiet. "Okay so there is a special guest here tonight, I'm not going to point them out, but they know who they are. This last song, my new unreleased song," Remus let the crowd go crazy for a second. "This one is for you." Remus quickly looked over to where Sirius and James were standing and they were both smiling.

This is the story of a boy

I'd adore them if I had a choice

It's like they don't know I exist but I would absolutely love it

If they were mine

Remus walked and moved around the stage singing his song.

Bad date on the east side

Breaks down in the mean time

Drinks henny to sleep right

But it don't do the trick

Cause life is a bitch

Moved here from a small town

Fell in with the wrong crowd

Don't blame them cause most people suck

And then leave you crushed

They don't know me now

But I could give much more

I know it's such a shame

I'm sure you've heard it all before

Remus jumped into the chorus jumping and moving around the stage as lights faded and flashed behind and around him.

Burnt out on highschool

Didn't go how they though it would

And I watch them on the internet

Tryna be happy

Remus made direct eye contact with Sirius.

He wouldn't have to if he knew that he could have me

I know it all sounds typical

He's golden, I'm invisible

He'll never know and maybe that's just how it goes.

Remus closed out his song and concert. "Thank you all for coming!!!!! I love you all so much!!" He ran off stage.

————

Remus walked to his dressing room to see James waiting for him as he usually does, but sitting next to him was Sirius. "Hi Sir-" Sirius ran to hug Remus who eagerly returned the hug. Sirius pulled backs and smashed his lips onto Remus'. Neither boys notice James leave the room. "I missed you so much Remmy." "I missed you more"

#wolfstar #marauders era #mauraders #the marauders #sirius being sirius #sirius black #remus john lupin #remus lupin #remus x sirius #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #wolfstar microfic

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ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes · 2 years

Text

Vigilante Shit

pairing: kaz brekker x powerful!reader

genre: fluff

el's thoughts: requested by @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r i'm obsessed with powerful!readers can you tell??

“Sorry I’m late.”

The room fell silent as tall heeled boots clicked on the floor as a girl not much older than the rest of the crows walked into the room. No one dared to make eye contact with her piercing eyes framed by a sharp black cat eye, matching the rest of her black leather clothes. The girl shot Kaz a wink and sat down across from him, “Feel free to continue.” She waved her hand at him before looking around the room. Her leg bounced in place, making her heel click on the wooden floor repeatedly.

Jesper and Inej shared a look and kept their heads down discreetly. Nina furrowed her eyebrows at the sudden shift in the room, and confused at who just walked into the room. “I’m sorry,” Kaz’s sharp eyes snapped to the burnette as she continued to speak. “Who is she? And why is she here?” Nina noticed the pair beside her cringe back into their seats ever-so-slightly.

“I’m right here, darling, you can ask me directly.”

Nina felt chills run down her spine as the mysterious woman spoke. Her voice sounded the way a queen’s would, power and control dripping off her words like honey.

“Y/N L/N is the name, feel free to use it. I’m here because your boss wanted my help with this next heist of yours.”

Clearing her throat, Nina built up a bit of courage, “And why do we need your help?”

“For this heist specifically? Charming the guards.” Y/N brought her hand up and twirled her fingers around, black smoke forming in thick strings moving like snakes around her hand. A gasp fell from the lips of Wylan, Nina and Matthias. “You’re a shadow summoner?”

Y/N laughed, “No, Love. This is magic, much more powerful than silly little shadows. At least in my humble opinion”

Kaz scoffed, trying to hide his smirk. He knew her opinion was the farthest thing from humble, he also knew she slipped into her very best for his crows. He knew more about her than he’d care to admit. She was just a young girl when they met, traveling to the big bad city. Orphans. That’s what they had in common, so she stuck with him and Jordie. She waited for him by the harbor. When he returned, she was quick to build a name for herself so she helped him build a new name. She made the name sound like a curse, a whispered summoning of evil itself. It instilled fear into the bones of merchers and gang leaders alike. All thanks to her.

“Cat’s got your tongue, Brekker?”

The comment caused him to roll his eyes, “I’d like to get back to the plan if it isn’t too much of an inconvenience for you.” Y/N simply nodded her head for him to continue, biting back a smile.

“Everyone knows their rolls? Any questions?”

Everyone shook their heads other than Nina. “I have a quick unrelated question for Y/N.” Kaz rolled his eyes, “Zenik…”

“It’s fine, Brekker, let her speak.” Her voice wasn’t quite soft or kind, but it wasn’t as sharp as her y/e/c eyes were. “I just need to know… Who do you dress for? You can’t possibly just wear these clothes everyday.”

“I don’t dress for women or men.” A smirk found its way to Y/N’s red lips, “I dress for no one other than myself. Oh and a dear little friend called revenge. Dramatic, I know, but I only speak the truth.”

Once everyone left the room, Kaz and Y/N were finally alone. She helped him place the maps and plans away when Kaz spoke. “What did you think of them?” She turned to face him, “Your crows?” He nodded. “Oh, they're lovely. I especially like that Zenik girl, she’s cute.”

~*~

kaz brekker taglist: @juneberrie @sophierequests @whorehalloween @maliciousbrekker @writingmysanity @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #six of crows imagines #six of crows x reader #six of crows #ellora.writes #scheduled

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anarchistartistvt · 3 months

Text

honestly I think it’s pretty fucked up how much shit I got over my post.

“hey wait a second these Reddit discussions might be onto something-“ “YOU PEDO DEFENDER DELETE THE POST KILL YOURSELF GRAHHHHHH”

The shitty part is that I didn’t even actively seek out this info. my now ex was posting the Reddit shit in a discord server I owned, and I was like “wait whoa they might be onto something here”. Given it was already on Reddit I figured more people knew but god damn it was like I opened Pandora’s box.

Won’t say I didn’t fuck things up for myself and my friends. Someone tried to doxx my friend daenumao (unsuccessfully thank fuckin god), and I was too stubborn to delete the posts the minute things blew out of proportion. I thought I could handle it. I had gone through shit similar to this before, what with StickyBM trying to accuse me of a parasocial freak and Jordy claiming I doxxed them(only to find out it was their discord tag that got leaked). I thought I was doing the right thing. I knew how detrimentally destructive allegations could be, fake or not.

I sort of named my ex in there because I didn’t want to claim credit for what I had found. It wasn’t to throw her under the bus, and as soon as she asked me to delete the credit part, I did.

In a friend server I was in, I was being pinged about the situation nonstop. People were telling me to delete it, and it just felt like silencing me. I was getting harassed left and right. Someone started threatening me on tumblr(a platform I rarely used until now), people started bringing up fake or already resolved shit about me(had to clear that up on a fuckin Reddit thread), and basically everything started crumbling and falling apart.

Finally one of my friends pinged me and was like “delete the posts or I’m blocking you, don’t make me do this”. I had already set dms to friends only by that point, after hearing daenumao was being threatened. I got angry, unfriended her, and left the server. Shortly after, a couple friends sent messages saying they were cutting ties and to never contact them again. Then my girlfriend messaged me saying she was leaving me.

Right now I’m sort of trapped on what I can say without breaking boundaries of anyone. I never meant to invalidate the victims. At the time, my only intention was to raise awareness of “hey this is kinda inconclusive, you might wanna take a look at this”. I didn’t think it would blow up to the point I would get death threats and death wishes.

In a court of law, both sides are to share their experiences. The experience really just told me that the justice system of twitter is fucked beyond comprehension. The victims were quick to attack anyone who doubted their claims, and had no problem siccing their supporters onto anyone who didn’t fall in line. It honestly felt like I was being told, “SUPPORT THE VICTIMS OR DIE”. People are allowed to have doubts, and while I can understand where the victims were coming from, they didn’t care to show much proof denying some claims. One of the alleged victims even said “so many big names are supporting me so I’m right.” Bro what?

When I attempted suicide, it was for a lot of reasons. I have bad anxiety and getting attacked the way I was back there sent everything into overdrive. Not to mention losing about 95% of my friends over this crap. I was only on twitter mainly because I had friends there and would chat with them regularly. I don’t have many friends in real life and I’ve always been kind of a loner. So to see my support system fall apart over this, especially because I have HORRIBLE abandonment issues, fucked with my head.

I’m not happy as a person. I’ve been depressed for years and I’m not proud of it. I’ve been through more fucked up shit in my life than I can even begin to process. Growing up in a broken family, being treated like shit by my stepmother and put through so much abuse, flunking out of high school and falling through the cracks, running away at 19 and immediately being raped and molested by someone I saw like an older brother, being sexually and emotionally abused by an ex who blamed me for being raped, moving out of my aunts house only to be institutionalized from a suicide attempt 4 months later, being in the homeless system, being treated like shit by the government programs, being doxxed and swatted and harassed and had deepfakes made of me, possibly having a condition that means I’m likely to be dead from suicide by the age of 34, etc. Like, I’ve genuinely been through hell and back and a lot of people know it. Maybe more people than I should be telling.

I tend to over share, I vent too much, I go into slumps quickly, and overall I’m a fucking mess mentally. I had gone into a bad psychotic breakdown last week due to trauma and a bad reaction to new meds, so my mental state wasn’t exactly the best when this shit even started. By this point I was already having a sinking feeling that my girlfriend was planning on leaving me, and then a few days later she hit her breaking point.

When I typed up that final post, I genuinely didn’t know if I wanted to keep living. Hearing someone I was close to saying “you better stay alive because you deserve to live with what you did” was horrifying.

I’m a coward, without a doubt. I wanted out. But not from just this. I wanted out from everything. The few people who I was close to, or even people who had tolerated me to an extent, had basically told me to go fuck myself. It quite literally felt like I had lost everything.

I got ahold of some Tylenol and started filling up the bathtub. I had planned to overdose in the tub, hoping that if I went into a seizure from the medication, being submerged in water would limit the chances of me pulling out of said seizure. I’ve only attempted a few times in my life, so you can’t bash me too hard for not knowing how to do it.

As I started undressing, my iPad started ringing with a FaceTime audio call. It was my dad.

Somehow the situation found its way to him and he reached out to check on me. I don’t know if one of my friends contacted him, if he was already monitoring my accounts, or if it had just blown up that badly that even he(someone who doesn’t use twitter or own an account) had seen it. I tried to sound normal because it’s pretty rare for him to call me, but when he started bringing up what he saw, I broke down sobbing.

I explained everything to him, that I just wanted to help, and that I thought I was doing the right thing, and he told me to limit my social media exposure, because of how unhealthy it was becoming for me. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone with my actions. I worded things wrong and handled it badly, and I will wholeheartedly apologize for that. He explained to me that it was good that I wanted to do the right thing, but it wasn’t good to screw over my own mental health over this shit. He advised me to limit my social media usage to only those I could trust.(scary thing is, I didn’t know who all I COULD trust)While on call, I tried to deactivate my account but couldn’t because I forgot my fuckin password. All I could do is private my account and go dormant.

A few people reached out in Twitter dms and I spoke with many of them. They were extremely kind and supportive, and redirected me to the Mandela Catalogue Reddit forum, where I was welcomed in. I’ve been staying there, as well as occasionally posting on Tumblr. I’m scared to even touch my Twitter account with a 10 ft pole, and discord interactions have been next to none. I considered rebranding but I didn’t want to feel like I was trying to sneak my way out of accountability. I was just threatened and bashed so fuckin much that I didn’t feel safe interacting as myself, Anarchist Artist.

A bunch of people were screaming at me for linking Reddit threads and saying “YOU CANT TRUST REDDIT ITS FULL OF LIES” you’re literally using twitter which is probably WORSE when it comes to misinformation.

I never intended to fall down this rabbit hole of who’s right or who’s wrong. I will apologize for how I handled things and how I worded my post, but I will not apologize for speaking up about a story full of holes. For the victims to bully someone into submission is not mature or appropriate, and they should be held accountable as such. I have no intention of clearing my name, I have no intention to regain my friends or close ones, and I have no intention of saying “HA HA I TOLD YOU SO”. I just want shit to go back to even a slight semblance of normalcy.

Even if the victims’ stories are truthful to an extent, they way they have approached all of this is horrible and I’m upset that they endorsed harassing anyone who didn’t fall in line.

I’ll be here for now, but won’t post much. Everything is still a mess and I’m still concerned for my safety.

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sophierequests · 2 years

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sophie my sweet love!! i have a request! well multiple, but here is one

dad!kaz where it's years later and they bring their son to the crow club for the first time and he's in awe of everything. and y/n is rushing around to make sure he doesn't touch anything or hurt himself, and kaz is just there with jes smiling at the chaos his family brings

a little crow and a lot of chaos

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Requests

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x f!Reader

A/N: El, I love you for this request, it's so good. I am in love with the idea of dad!Kaz and you have my heart for asking for this. I'll definitely need more dad!Kaz requests or I will pass away (I'm very serious). This is one of the softest fics I'll ever write and I am actually quite happy with how it turned out??? Also, I named the son Jordie, just because I wanted to suffer (and not at all because I'm terrible at picking out names for ocs). Thank you so much for requesting this, El <333

Summary: A little crow visits the Crow Club for the first time and chaos ensues

Genre: F L U F F

Word Count: 2.2K

Warnings: A very tiny mention of his touch aversion, very soft!Kaz, Sophie doesn't know how children talk and at this point her search history look a bit weird, so she's too scared of looking it up

“Do you really think that this is a good idea?” You directed the question at your husband as you futilely tried to convince your son to put on his boots. The son in question had been in a very lively mood for the entire morning and, as much as you adored him, he became a bloody nuisance when he was as excited as this. Kaz, who had also done his very best to keep the little boy in check, only chuckled as he looked down at you with playful pity.

“I’m sure it will be fine, love.” He mused, straightening his tie and correcting his appearance in the hallway mirror for the hundredth time today. Both of you were far from being new parents, your son now already shy of four years old, but there were some habits you needed to get used to. Especially Kaz. He still had his bad days when everything was just a bit too much for him to handle causing him to retreat into his old shell. Now they were just way less frequent and when they happened, the waves didn’t manage to overtake him completely. All in all, he had managed to become a loving husband and caring father, of whom you couldn’t be any more proud.

“Ma, you promised!” Jordie pouted, staring at you with wide eyes and an overly dramatic quivering lower lip. Saints, you really needed to limit the time he spent with Nina and Jesper…

“I know, I know and we will go to the Crow Club today,” You consoled him whilst finally succeeding in shoving the godforsaken boots over his feet. You turned your face to a smirking Kaz, who seemed to be having the time of his life just about now. “I’m just a bit worried that we might run into people that your daddy doesn’t necessarily like.”

“It’s the middle of the day. The club is probably close to being empty. There’s nothing to worry about. And if there should be some sort of trouble lurking-”

“Uncle Jes will protect us all with his guns!” Your son jumped up, giving both of you a wide grin before taking confident strides towards the front door. Kaz tried to stifle a chuckle, but he inevitably failed as he saw your utterly flabbergasted expression. Sometimes, you were surprised none of your friends had taught him to say ‘fuck’ yet - not that you intended on giving them any ideas.

“Maybe we should think about who we choose as babysitters a bit more thoroughly.” Kaz stood behind you, letting his hands rest on your shoulders as he placed a chaste kiss on your temple. “But I’d say we leave now, or he might show us what else his aunts and uncles have taught him.”

Since you didn’t live in the Barrel anymore, you had to walk a bit to reach the Crow Club. The walk from your estate in the Geldstraat wasn’t far, but your husband still was very content with carrying Jordie for a brief portion of the way. It made you recall past days when he would struggle immensely with even attempting to publicly show affection towards you, or anyone for that matter. In his mind, it made him appear valuable and weak. As your son grew older, these feelings subsided, replaced by a new sense of responsibility and strength.

Many people couldn’t appreciate the beauty of the Barrel, however, seeing it through the eyes of a small boy, whose father wasn’t reluctant to tell stories about all the crazy heists his parents and their friends had completed here, made it easier for you to understand why your son was so excited to come back. And it wasn’t like the Barrel was all that bad. It had been your home for the majority of your teenage years and it was where you met your closest friends, after all. Becoming parents had kept both you and Kaz from coming back frequently unless it was work-related, so you were more than glad to enjoy your time without having to worry about completing a job or filling out paperwork. The only thing you had to worry about now was keeping your son from touching anything dangerous or hurting himself. That couldn’t be so hard, right?

Jordie wriggled himself out of your spouse’s arm as the oxidized silver crow sign of the Crow Club came into sight. Kaz was quick to reach for his hand, holding onto it tightly to keep him from running out of your sight. You hastily moved forward to grab the other one, letting him walk between the two of you, which he begrudgingly accepted. You couldn’t blame him for being excited. It was his first time actually seeing the club from the inside since you had vehemently insisted on keeping him from the vulgar sceneries that could be found in gambling dens and clubs of all sorts as long as you possibly could. The only exception you ever made was occasionally bringing him around to the Slat to pay a visit to his father while he was working. You were sure that if things would go how Kaz wanted them to go, he would’ve brought him to the Crow Club whilst still in diapers.

Upon entering the establishment, the eyes of the few patrons immediately snapped towards Kaz. No matter how much of a doting husband he may be when you were alone, he still had one hell of a reputation, which he was proud to employ for his benefit. Even though it was quite the difficult task to do so, whilst grasping onto the tiny hands of a preschooler. With one determined snap of his cane, the majority of the gazes found their way back to their drinks and the three of you could finally settle without being the centre of everyone's attention.

One pair stayed fixed on you.

“Uncle Jes!” Your son squealed, yanking his hands out of your grip and running towards the Sharpshooter that stood leaning against the bar, clumsily placing his glass of whiskey on the counter next to him. You wanted to dash after him, but your partner only gave you a reassuring look, putting his cane out in front of you to block your way. Jesper flashed you a toothy grin, adjusting his hat before bending down and picking Jordie up to give him a big hug. Against Kaz’s initial disbelief, your friend proved to be the best godfather and babysitter that you could have wished for. Only when he was not trying to introduce your son to his array of shenanigans and pranks though.

“Look who’s here! Have you gotten taller since the last time I’ve seen you?” Jesper quipped, causing Jordie to giggle uncontrollably.

“The last time you’ve seen him was two days ago, I doubt that he had a paranormal growth spurt since then.” Kaz retorted in his typical sarcastic tone, but with a barely noticeable grin on his lips. His comment was only countered with a jaunty eye roll before the attention was back on the little boy.

“What are you doing here, little crow?” Jesper asked as if he hadn’t been the one to plant the idea of visiting the Crow Club in Jordie’s head in the first place. “Are you joining the big boy club now?”

“It was about time that we showed him where people like his parents and godparents spent their teenage years.” Kaz chuckled, earning a warning glare from you, which he tactfully ignored. As much as you loved spending time here, the fact that it was a gambling den filled with some of the most dangerous criminals Ketterdam could breed, didn’t necessarily scream kid friendly.

And of course, your worries were justified.

As soon as Jesper put him back down, he began to wander around the club. It was a lot different to what he knew from the Barrel. The flashy colours and extravagant designs of most of the other bars were replaced by the rich black and crimson interior of the Crow Club. It was the physical manifestation of Kaz Brekker in the form of a betting hall.

The first object of attraction that managed to reel Jordie in, was the array of card tables that were spread out all over the main hall. He waddled away from the bar, right in the direction of a table that was currently being used by four sketchy-looking men. It was very likely that he was only interested in seeing what game they were playing or that he wanted to look at the intricate crow pattern on the red cloth that coated the circular tables.

“Jordie, don’t bother these lovely men. I’m sure they simply want to enjoy their game in peace.” You called after him, but he didn’t listen. Not wanting him to get into trouble, you hurried forward, trying to catch him, or at the least keep him in check. You didn’t see the amused look on your husband’s face as he watched you scurry after a feisty three-year-old and it was better that you didn’t. He did understand why you were so anxious about your son being here, but he just couldn’t stifle the enjoyment he got from your so-called ‘mother hen behaviour’ as Jes had lovingly dubbed it. Before he could reach the table you were already right behind him, placing your hands on his shoulders to navigate him away from it. The men hadn’t even noticed him, but you weren’t able to hide the embarrassment written all over your face.

To your dismay, a door to one of the private gambling parlours opened, revealing the now empty room. Obviously, this only served as a new point of interest to Jordie, who instantly rushed towards it to see what was going on inside. Sometimes you really wondered whether you should attempt to put a leash on him.

Kaz’s eyes followed you ceaselessly as you sprinted all around the club, holding back your son from touching any sharp edges and apologizing to numerous customers who had been deemed important enough to be appealing to him. No matter how hard he tried to disguise his smile and turn it into a self-satisfied smirk, it didn’t work out.

“Come on, Kaz. Are you going soft on us? If Nina could see you right now, you would never be free from her bullying.” Jesper grinned, raising his eyebrows at the man next to him.

“If Nina could see me right now, she would tell me to get a decent haircut.” He replied, stealing Jesper’s whiskey off of the counter and helping himself to a considerable sip from the glass.

“And she would be right. But she’d also absolutely relish the sight of Kaz Brekker, the Bastard of the Barrel, smiling like a lovesick teenage boy.”

“She’s my wife, Jesper. I am allowed to look at her how I please.”

“Of course you are. It’s just nice to know that the big scary Dirtyhands does have a heart sometimes. Even if that heart manifests through the heart eyes he gives his wife.”

“Shut up Jesper.”

Their friendly bickering was cut short by a hollow clanking noise, coming from a chair that your son had managed to knock over. He watched as you hastily picked it up before ushering him back towards the bar whilst trying to make yourself as small as possible to get rid of any unwanted attention.

“Alright, young man,” Kaz laughed, putting a hand on Jordie’s back to steer him towards the exit. “I think that you did quite enough exploring for the day. Let’s head to the Slat, I heard that your other aunts and uncles might want to spend the evening with us.”

At the mention of the Crows, he gave up his pouting and was now eager to leave the club. You could only shake your head, joining Jesper and Kaz on their way out, still carefully eying your overly energetic child.

"Oh Jes, are we still going out for W-A-F-F-L-E-S later, or did the plans change?" You questioned the Zemeni boy in an attempt to not excite your son too much. This plan flew straight over Jesper’s head.

"Why did you just spell out waffles?" He snickered, cocking his brows inquisitively. You sighed, seeing Jordie’s eyes go wide with joy.

"Are we getting waffles later?! Will aunt Nina be there too? Can I have the ones with extra chocolate?" A cluster of questions started tumbling from his mouth as he nearly seemed to be buzzing with glee.

"That's why." Kaz answered, giving you a slight nudge with his shoulder before lifting Jordie off his feet, whose ramblings were cut short by a joyful squeal.

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse

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