#thanks! i try making this blog as friendly as possible! i think you're nice too! :D

[dearestones]

And Why Should You Care? (L x F! Reader)

Warnings: Slight fluff and angst. 

Anonymous Request: Hello!

Can I request L from Death note with fem!Reader who is extremely skinny and doesn’t feel her body is beautiful?

Thank you very much in advance! I love your writing, and your blog seems so friendly!

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“If you have a question, it’s better if you just ask it rather than spending the majority of your time fussing about it and then not saying anything.” L pressed a few keys onto his laptop, the gentle tapping of his fingers a stark contrast to the low monotone of his voice. To anyone else, he would have seemed blunt and callous, perhaps even irritated at your inner frustrations, but you knew him well enough—or fooled yourself into thinking you had—to know that he was actually quite gentle. If it were anyone else, he would have ignored you. 

You pursed your lips together and thought some more about the question you dreaded asking. Finally, when you knew that he was only a call button away from summoning Watari, you said, “It might be a stupid question.”

“If it is,” L murmured lowly, “I’ll be sure to inform you.”

Again, he tapped on his keyboard, the clacking of the keys serving as ambience. You could almost hate L at that moment. To him, most questions were probably frivolous; they were mere repetitions of the observations and patterns that he saw daily. If anything, he probably knew what you were going to ask just from your reactions alone. 

You sighed and resigned yourself to the horror of impending humiliation. “Okay… Am I pretty?”

Sometimes, you didn’t know what to expect from L. Yes, there were times when he resembled the mechanical workings of a computer—all algorithms and binary code—but there were times when you could swear that he was just as mysterious as the crimes that he solved. That is, to say, you would never know what the answer was, but L knew. 

He always knew. 

And his response? 

He continued typing, but gave you a sidelong glance at you that was more irritated rather than surprised. Figures. 

“Pretty, alongside most other adjectives, is a subjective matter.” He cocked his head to the side and brought a thumb to his lips, which he absentmindedly chewed as he continued to regard you. Dark and foreboding, his eyes bore into yours. They were wide and unblinking, but even as you stared back at him, you could barely make out the reflection within those dark pools. “I have no opinions regarding aesthetics.”

And that could have been it. 

Even before you began ingratiating yourself to L, you knew that he preferred form following function. He was practical and pragmatic, often choosing clothing that he knew would suit his sensory preferences rather than wearing outfits that could have suited him better. For him, the idea of objects that were purely made just for the novelty of looking at something good looking was far beyond his comprehension. 

Despite yourself, you prodded him. 

“Fine then, what about beautiful? Do you think I’m beautiful?” You were getting heated now, your voice slightly cracking at the end. It’s not like looks were everything, you knew that, but this was important to you. Your body… It felt like it wasn’t yours sometimes, like a thing that was only meant to be maintained and kept clean, but never to be seen as something attractive. What were you other than a vessel for a soul? A bag of meat and bones?

Pretty wasn’t everything, yes, but you craved to be acknowledged as someone who could be desired. 

Didn’t everyone else want the same to a certain extent?

This time, you caught L’s attention. For the first time in an hour, his hands abruptly hovered over the keys in uncertainty before retreating to his sides. Although his gaze was kept perfectly blank, you could see from the bright glare from the computer screen that he looked… confused. Perhaps even perturbed? You weren’t sure how to describe the expression on his face, but it was far better than the alternative: impatience. 

In a low, steady voice, he uttered your name. In the stormy turmoil of your emotions, you hesitantly responded with a soft affirmative. 

“This is a sensitive situation, yes?”

You nodded, too choked up and lost in your racing thoughts to properly respond. 

“Before I answer, I’d like you to answer a question of my own.” He raised a hand to placate you and if you looked closely, you could see that he was taking this conversation seriously. Although his voice remained the same and he still sat hunched in his seat as if he were still in work mode, the way he held himself—unnaturally rigid and alert—told you that he had heard your distress and he was going to do everything in his power to make it right. “As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Anyone could tell you that you’re beautiful. Furthermore, anyone could just as easily tell you that you are ugly. No two person’s standards are the same. So, why should you care? Anyone could say anything, so why bother listening?”

You were struck dumb by his words before you were hit by a tidal wave of indignation and the terrifying thought that L didn’t care. He probably thought that you were being stupid and emotional about this, why did you even ask—

Why did you even ask?

“It’s because it’s you!” You cried out. So startled he was at your sudden outburst, L nearly fell out of his chair, but you paid that no heed. You left the confines of your own seat to confront him, your presence rendering him dumb as you encroached on his personal space. “I don’t care about what anyone else thinks, I just want to know what you think! You’re important to me, that's why I want to know!”

L blinked. 

“Ah.”

That’s all he had to say? Ah?

The displeasure must have been more than evident on your face because he quickly began to formulate a response that would best satisfy your needs. 

“You’re not beautiful and you are not ugly. When I look at you, I see someone important to me. Aesthetics and societal standards don’t define who you are.” His hand reached out, his movements stilted and awkward, but he managed to land a feather-like touch on your shoulder. Despite his feelings towards physical touch and expressions of affection, he held on. For you, he was willing to eschew his reservations to make sure that you were all right. “Your body shape does not matter to me. Your companionship is far more valuable.”

His light hold increased in pressure for a few seconds before he abruptly let go, his hand going back to rest atop his knee. 

You were stunned into silence before you felt a smile break out onto your face. 

“Can I please focus on my work now?” His voice was still monotone, but you could hear the distinct wheedle in his voice that was the closest to whining you’ll ever hear from him. 

In response you nodded and, respecting the boundaries between the two of you, lightly rumpled his hair in affection. He made a startled humming noise, but you only grinned in response.

If L appreciated who you are, then why did other people’s opinions matter?

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If you want to donate a Ko-Fi, feel free https://ko-fi.com/devintrinidad.

DEATH NOTE MASTERLIST

[starflungwaddledee]

do you have any tips for leaving compliments on other people's art ?? your tags are always so well phrased !

oooo oooooooooooooo uuhhhhhhhh hmmm!

firstly, thank you!! i'm rather glad to hear that! i try quite hard to leave meaningful comments so it's nice when folks notice or appreciate it!

outside of commenting on the work, i first consider the tone of what i'm saying and who i'm saying it to.

i always try to make sure that what i'm saying will be appreciated by the person! that's the point. for the most part i leave comments to bring joy to the op, and thank them for their hard work, for being here and sharing art that made me happy! if i'm speaking to a mutual or friend, there's gonna be inside jokes and probably an amount of casual yelling. possibly even a little friendly roast, if i know them well enough. if i'm speaking with someone i don't know as well i try to keep it a little more professional, but i keep in mind that this is a fandom so an amount of yelling and screaming is expected. i tend to think about what i would like from someone else.

also if i notice that a caption or a blogs about is not in english i double check. if english is not the first language of the artist i make sure to construct tags that are easily translated and i use only and exclusively positive phrases. saying things like "delete this!!!! /pos" or "eating my own hands" can be totally lost in translation. i also keep in mind the age of the OP. don't tag as though you're Looking Disrespectfully at the art of a minor, even if that's your favourite blorbo.

as for how to comment on art or storytelling itself, this is indeed a learned skill, and it can be helped by training your eye to understand different things in artwork. but it's easy to start practicing! this is intuitive to me now, but an easy way to begin is to pick out one or two things that really stand out to you on a piece. (examples could be line quality; is it smooth? neat? textured? full of emotion?, shading: is it crisp? atmospheric? realistically rendered?, or colour choice: is it vibrant? is it moody? is it perfectly on model?) and draw attention to them and how the artist successfully used them to make the piece work.

if the piece includes design-work, pick something of that which you like as well. (clothes, colour choices, abilities, parallels to other characters, totally new or unique concepts that you haven't seen before. if you see your favourite colour combos or notions, let them know, but if it's a stranger remember they made the design for themselves, and you just share (good) tastes!) if you really want to make an artist/designer/storyteller's day, try to find the Little Thing that they've snuck into their art or design that ties into the story or lore that they are telling. even guesses to this end tend to be appreciated!

generally useful things you can also comment on are how well an artist has utilised a medium for its strengths, especially if the medium is a little unusual. if someone @'d me in particular i make sure to acknowledge that too because they probably read me for something and i should acknowledge the effort!

another thing i also always, always encourage, is to try to periodically share and comment on the work of people who are either less experienced or who have less visibility than you. especially if you have more of a platform! if you want to keep your blog clean of too many reblogs for aesthetic or professional reasons you can even go through and remove them later, but sharing the work of smaller accounts- even temporarily- makes such a huge difference! and encouraging + supporting younger or beginner artists is something we should be endeavouring to do as much as possible!

at the end of the day, i always just try to be very earnest in my tags.

there is generally no reason to withhold any praises i can think of, because it's usually nice to have your work perceived and appreciated! i personally loooovvve long rambling tags, screaming tags, stuff like "AAHH NOOOOOOO (THE BLORBO)" and so on. i try to leave the kind of thoughtful comments that i like (and am lucky enough) to receive, and i try to share artwork from a wide variety of people!

[celiciaa]

GILBERT VON OBSIDIAN EVENT STORY....

CHAPTER TWO.

A beast’s dream fulfilled by beauty.

translations are not 100% accurate. expect mistakes.

spoilers from gilbert's route.

minors and ageless blogs dni.

Lord Gilbert introduced me to a dog and a cat as potential friends.

(I honestly didn't see that coming…..)

Emma: Where did they come from in the first place?

Gilbert: They were originally kept at court. They lost their masters in the war.

(…..They've lost their masters in the war.)

It was easy to imagine Lord Gilbert protecting these sad animals.

Gilbert: They all want to be your friend.

Emma: I am happy. I really am, but you know it’s not it.

Gilbert: Ahaha, do you want that many friends? // Ahaha. Do you want to be friends with humans that badly?

Emma: Yes, I want to.

Gilbert: Even though I'm here.

Emma: Gil is my fiancé.

Gilbert: How about a fiancé and a friend?

Emma:….Are you really that jealous?

Gilbert: That's one thing, but I don't want you to get hurt.

Emma: Get hurt….?

Gilbert: There are two kinds of friends.

Gilbert: Either your friends betray you, or they don't.

Gilbert: And in my experience, most friends betray each other.

Gilbert: Your kindness will hurt you, you know?

Gilbert: But I'm the only one who can hurt you...right?

(….What happened in the past?)

Lord Gilbert normally says that he wants to be friends,

But he didn’t seem to trust friendships at all.

Emma: I have never been betrayed by a friend, have I?

Gilbert: You're talking about Rhodolite, correct?

Gilbert: But this is Obsidian, the land of deception and corruption.

Gilbert: Even your position is different. You are my woman, which means you are a member of the royal family.

Gilbert: So give up on making friends. // So give up on your friends.

I am not convinced, even though he says it with a fresh smile.

(Certainly, there were people in Rhodolite who changed their behavior just because I was friendly with Lord Gilbert.)

(But if you are afraid of that, you will always be alone.)

Gilbert:….You're a very poor listener.

Lord Gilbert held my chin with his cane——

I gasped as I looked into his beautiful red eye and he bit me on the lip.

(….Ouch.)

Gilbert: I'm just trying to protect you.

Emma:…You’re too overprotective.

Gilbert: Sorry for being so restrictive with my love?

Emma:……

Gilbert: But don't worry. I'll fill you up so much that you won't even think you want a friend.

His cane was still on my chin, as his cold lips pressed against mine, taking my breath away.

It was such a perfect kiss that even words of rebuttal were not tolerated.

(I understand Lord Gilbert is concerned about me.)

(….And that it won't change the way you think about friends.)

The kisses were so overwhelming that I desperately wanted it to stop,

In a corner of my mind, like Lord Gilbert, bad ideas began to sprout.

(——Okay, I got out.)

I took off the hood I had on my head and slipped into the bustling street.

I somehow made it to the town by using a loophole that Lord Gilbert had told me about before.

The purpose, of course, is to make friends.

(I'm sorry, Lord Gilbert, but for me it's a matter of life and death.)

I casually walked through the town of Obsidian.

Come to think of it, this may be the first time I have come here alone.

(Once again, it's a really nice town.)

I don't know the details of the former Obsidian's internal affairs but,

In the current town under Lord Gilbert's rule, the people's faces were shining, and I liked it as much as Rhodolite.

(I need to find someone I can be friends with as soon as possible——)

Woman: Kya—

Emma:….! Are you okay?

I catch sight of the fallen woman out of the corner of my eye and rush over to her.

The woman was probably on her way home from shopping and vegetables were scattered around her.

Emma: You’re injured. Can you walk?

The woman sits on a nearby bench and quickly gathers up the scattered vegetables.

Woman: I'm sorry.…thank you very much.

Emma: No, I'm glad it didn't turn out to be serious.

Woman: I'm always like this. I'm so clumsy….

Emma: Now that bad things have happened here, something good will surely happen next time.

Woman: When you say it like that, it really sounds like it could happen.

(This woman might be about my age.)

Woman: That’s right! Let me thank you for something.

Emma: No, I didn't do anything that big. // No, it's not that big of a deal.

Woman: You helped me, didn't you? There's a great pastry shop nearby.

Woman: I've been wanting to go too, so why don't you join me?

Emma:…Well then, can I take your word for it?

(An early opportunity presented itself.)

The feeling of being able to become friends makes me feel inwardly excited.

Pretending to be calm so as not to look strange, I handed over the vegetables that had been placed back in the bag.

The woman who received it suddenly looked at the ring finger of my left hand.

Woman: That ring is….

Emma: Oh, my fiancé gave it to me.

The ring with the black obsidian rose shining on it was given to me by Lord Gilbert at our engagement ceremony.

Woman: Obsidian….

Woman: I am terribly sorry!

Emma:….Eh.

The woman who suddenly changed her behavior bows deeply and leaves as if she were fleeing from a ferocious animal.

I was taken aback by what happened in a moment.

(….What? What happened?)

(This ring, you can't be serious!?)

???: Ahaha. You poor thing.

As I stood dumbfounded, a cold body embraced me from behind.

I was not surprised because the shock of the woman's escape was greater.

Emma:…Lord Gilbert, I don't understand.

Gilbert: Only members of the royal family are allowed to wear obsidian rings. // The obsidian rings are only allowed to be worn by the royal family.

Gilbert: You didn't know?

 ▸       [  previous / sweet / premium ]

[firebugging]

MUTUAL APPRECIATION POST!!!!!

Hope everyone's year has been good so far, I've wanted to do this for a while, so here's my little ramble!!

I wanted to do as many people as possible but I am a COWARD and just went until I feel like I wrote too much, everything is utc :3

ALRIGHTTTTT, STARTING OFF WITH @eslover. I remember our first interaction the best tbh... (milgram tree, kotorb!!) you're the person that made really want to try and branch out to talk to other people within the milgramblr community (I still get a bit embarrassed though). You're super nice and I'm really grateful that we're mutuals! Truly the McMido acc ever !!

Next up, @tsuwmya! You were my first mutual here and I think you're super cool!! I really admire you, even if I don't interact with you a-lot, your ocgram is SOSO WELL DONE AND ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE SO CHEWYYY (it made me begin work on my own ocgram again actually). Your analysis posts are always such a pleasure to read and there is something about your art that makes me want to eat it like a sandwich /pos

@dearmahiru YOUUU. You're the person that made me like 0610 and MY GOD, DOOMED YURI!! They're one of my favourite ships now hehe. BUT ANYWAYS, ANOTHER PERSON WHO MAKES WONDERFULLY WRITTEN ANALYSIS POSTS, they're always such good reads and you can tell how well researched they are! In my head you're THE Mahiru mutual and I await the Kotoko final girl post!

LINA @linabirb. Uhmm... fun fact, when I initially got into Milgram, your edit blog was the first thing I really checked out in terms of fan work. I believe I was the anon that asked for heart shaped miko icons one time (I loved them btw. I ended up using them for one of my rentry pages WITH CREDIT OFC). You're really friendly and soso approachable 10/10 MUTUAL!!!

@narumimii YOU'RE LIKE A CELEBRITY 2 ME... so cool. I lovelove you edits and will probably spam like them later out of respect because photopea SUCKS and trying to understand it made me admire you for putting up with it's confusingness. Also... yurigram real I LOVE YOUR ART OK BYE

@rainbowghostcat @seariii @heynowisavedyouright and @roseofcards90 I WAS GONNA WRITE STUFF FOR YOU GUYS TOO BUT GOT EMBARRASSED AND DELETED IT I'M SO SORRY </3 BUTTT I THINK YOU'RE ALL SUPER COOL AND I AM SENDING YOU A MILGRAM CHIBI OF YOUR CHOICE...

@art-stuff-by-goose You're one of my irls and also not on milgramblr but you are my qp WIFE so I would like to thank your for putting up with me for all these years! I can be cringefail boyflop girlloser around you without worry and you also introduced SSOOSOOSO many cool games to me YOU WILL BE NUKED!! Overall you are very cool and I am gonna give you one of my silly dinosaurs :3

TO EVERYONE WHO ISN'T ON HERE!! Just know that even if we're not close, I really appreciate you! Everyone who I've interacted with here (no matter how much or how little) has really made my fandom experience so much more enjoyable, this is actually the first time I've really tried to interact with others in the community and it's been soso wonderful thus far. So thank you! I hope that you all have a wonderful 2024!! <3

Also uhmmm, I suck at interacting first so if you'd like to get closer, maybe send an ask? OK THAT'S ALL THIS WAS UHMMMMM VERY UHHHH THIS WAS A POST!!!!!!

[beasts-of-jadewood]

For my first attempt at making a "tumblr-style" post, I'll be rating Goodbye Volcano High characters on a scale of 1-10 based on how I think my first date with them would go.

This is entirely dependent on what dialogue options the player chooses. Nice, friendly, accomodating Fang would try their best to make the evening as pleasant for the both of us as possible but I'd probably realize that they're either reading a walkthrough of my dialogue checks or just trying way too hard, leading to an overall 7/10 night. Mean, selfish, asshole Fang would talk about K-On for 2 hours and ignore everything I say before watching with a completely emotionless face as I get up amd walk out of their life forever. 2/10.

Trish would probably take me to a bug museum and talk about her favorite bugs and ask me what my favorite bug was, at which point I'd respond with some bullshit answer like "the Worms from Kamen Rider Kabuto" before we would both start explaining our respective niche interests to each other without retaining any of what the other person said until we both forget why we're there and go our separate ways, feeling confused but vaguely satisfied. 5/10.

Reed's idea for a first date is probably inviting me to his D&D party or something, at which point I would start explaining to him that I think D&D's modifier-based dice roll system doesn't accurately represent skillfulness as much as something like Fate's multi-dice system, then launch into a rant about how I think D&D is a fascist colonialist product that promotes violence and has little to no thoughtful mechanics outside of combat. I will either be killed immediately for what I've said and my body eaten given the fact that Reed is a carnivorous dinosaur, or the argument will proceed for the next 6 hours to no real avail until we're both exhausted and I go home, leaving Reed alone to smoke pot and watch Critical Role episodes until he falls asleep. 2/10.

Naser would prepare a full list of horse puns for his first date with me given that I am a unicorn and possibly try to make me fall for updog a few times despite the fact that it's the year of our lord 2023. I would quickly let him know that my ability to make jokes is even shittier than his own by reciting old memes from 2012 that I saved in the back of my brain to impress my boomer parents with. We'd then proceed to both laugh at each other while cringing until our skins are fully inside-out. At the end of the date, Naser would ask me to pull his finger, and I'd be too slow to do so before he accidentally shits himself from the cheap dinosaur-korean barbecue we had for dinner, ending the night with a highly awkward but overall 8/10 experience.

Anyway, that's it for part 1. I have four more characters to go. Please let me know if you want more of this kind of content from me. Thanks.

@wolfnanaki @rustybottlecap I'm tagging you two because you're the only blogs that show up when I search "Goodbye Volcano High" in the blogs tab.

[jennsterjay]

Hey, I don't know how to use Tumblr very well yet. I just wanted to say thank you for the nice stuff you said about my art✨ Also, why do people on here use tags to speak?

You're welcome 😊💜✨!! And I've been here for a while but I'd say it's more of a tumblr culture/ tumblr only thing. People are more likely to put their comments in the tags so it does the dual effort of talking about the post while spreading it around. For example here's how I would reblog some art I like:

#(my comment goes here) #(this tag is the subject matter) #(this is where the subject matter source material comes from) #(an extra tag to describe) #(a tag used to organize it on my own personal blog when I reblog it)

Example of this in action:

#Wow I really love how you drew Pikachu here ^^/ <3 #pikachu #pokemon #my favorite pikachu pictures

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Reblog tagging on tumblr is also unique because it also allows people to communicate with other users who have reblogged the post too, for example if I say:

#Wow I really love how you drew Pikachu here ^^/ <3 #pikachu #pokemon #my favorite pikachu pictures

Then the next person can copy my tags to help spread it around or communicate with my comment by saying:

#Wow I really love how you drew Pikachu here ^^/ <3 #<- Prev (this means previous person that reblogged the post before you) #I think this Pikachu looks really good too!! #pikachu #pokemon #art I like (<- notice how people may add their own tags too to make it personalized)

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Lastly, tagging your own art or post. Let's say you're the one that drew the Pikachu drawing. You want to get as much reach as possible from the target audience you want to interact with it. I'm a simple tagger so I don't tag every possible tag I could think of, but try to put the most important tags in the first 5-10 you use. I would also suggest making a tag specifically for your art so you can search it and have others search it on your blog. Everyone has their own unique way of tagging and you should do what works for you. And this is how I would tag my art post if I drew Pikachu:

#drew my favorite electric mouse again lmao #Pikachu #Pokemon #anime #artists on tumblr #digital art #fyp (<- this means the 'For You' page you see on tumblr's interface, I don't usually use this but some people do) #pokemon fanart #fanart #jjs-art (<- this is my own art tag, I use this so when I search this tag on my own blog I can see my art posts)

Oh and one more thing: you can totally still get regular comments too right there on the left, it's more understood here through that when you comment you usually intend to speak directly to the person who made the post (unless people in the comments start talking to each other instead, lol)

Tumblr is different than most other platforms and as an artist you'll definitely get the hang of it. I hope this small tutorial was helpful feel free to enter my ask box anytime if you have any other questions :) <3

-Your friendly neighborhood JennsterJay (Lmao 😂💜✨)

[kitishsnzes]

Hello! Nice to see a new sickfic blog! Can I request a sick and sneezy Nathaniel and Jacob taking care of him??? Thank you 😊

Short but sweet

Nathaniel p.o.v

It had been a stressful few days. Work had been busy for me, Jacob had been stressed with his own work and was therefore quite irritable. This has led to us having quite the argument. We had literally never argued before, especially not like this. After the fight I had gone for a walk to clear my mind, but it had unfortunately started raining and I was not suffering the consequences. Because now, on top of Jacob being mad at me I was also very quickly coming down with a cold.

Jacob and I sat at dinner, a somewhat awkward silence between the two of us. I knew I was in the early stages of my illness. Stuffy nose, scratchy, tickly throat, a small headache and a near constant need to sneeze. Not even halfway through our meal my nose had gotten too itchy to hear. I took a napkin from the center of the table and cupped my nose into it, "hhtshu! EhhtSHhhu!" My husband barely even looked at me, but still mumbled a soft "bless you" I softly thanked him. Then we continued to eat in an awkward silence. This only lasted a few more minutes before my nose began tickling again. I pressed my fist under my nose, hoping to keep the tickle at bay. This seemed to work, but apparently my sniffling was getting on Jacob's already short nerves. "Nate! Just sneeze for fucks sake!" I was shocked by his sudden outburst. I took another napkin, my breath hitching, "hhTshu! Hh- ehh- tsSHhu! HhtCSHu!" The sneezes were harsh and caused me to cough after, and I was even concerned at how rough my lungs sounded from the coughing. I blew my nose into the napkin. "Bless you" Jacob sounded a bit concerned. His usual loving, sweet, kindness showing through. He leaned across the table and his soft fingers brushed over my forehead. "Nate, I think you've got a fever" it was in my better judgment that I didn't correct his grammar. "Maybe?" I said, trying to avoid the obvious. "Nate honey are you sick?" His voice was void of all previous annoyance. "Maybe?"

"I knew you shouldn't have been walking outside in the rain. I was worried this would happen." He stood up. "I'll be right back love"

"Ok-ah- hhh- hhTSshu! HktSsshu!- snf okay"

"Bless you darling" his voice sounded apologetic, as if he was trying to make up for our fight. "How long have you felt sick for?" He asked as he rummaged around in the cupboard in the kitchen. "Started feeling sick this morning"

"Why didn't you tell me"

"I felt bad bothering you, I knew you were stressed and we weren't really on super friendly terms" he came back from the kitchen, a bottle in his hand, he was shaking his head, "Nate, I don't care about a silly fight."

"But we never fight"

"Everyone fights. Couples fight. It's part of being in a relationship. Doesn't mean I don't love you or wouldn't want to take care of you" he leaned in to kiss me, but I turned away, "I don't want you to catch this" he smiled tenderly at me, he set his fingers on my jaw, "nonsense. You're worth it" he kissed me, I knew I was blushing. Even after being married for nearly 10 years I still found myself falling deeper and deeper in love with him.

He pulled away from the kiss and handed me the bottle in his hand, "you can take this right?" He knew I had allergies to certain medications, but could never keep them all straight. I nodded, I took a few of the cold/flu tablets out and swallowed them with a swig of water. "I'm sorry for making you mad" I apologized, he shrugged, "I should have been more patient."

"I love you"

"Love you more"

"Not possible" I said jokingly, before turning away as my nose tickled again, "hhtshu! Ehh- hhh- hhTSshu tsShu!"

"Bless you" Jacob said rubbing my shoulder. "You should get some rest before you get more sick"

"Probably a good idea" I smiled to myself, after years of Jacob protesting when I told him to sleep when sick, he pulled the uno reverse card on me. "Ugh I sound like you" he said, he wrinkled his nose cutely. I couldn't help but laugh at him. "Because I'm so smart" he rolled his eyes, "yeah, smart ass!" I laughed at him before kissing him softly. "alright I'll behave I'm so sorry my love"

He triumphantly smiled and kissed my nose, "bed!" I stood up, "yessir"

He followed me to our room and climbed into bed next to me, "you know that you're gonna get sick."

"For you, It's worth it."

I fell asleep with a lovesick smile on my face.

[samspenandsword]

My dearest Sam, congratulations on your 300 followers! I know your blog is always a joy to catch up on, and I very often re-read many of your works. You deserve all the best! I raise my teacup to you and your future endeavors!

If you're not too busy, might I request a ship pairing please? I am 37, a she/her, and go by May. I love the forest moon of Endor or Alderaan if I had to pick a planet. My aesthetic is a very cluttered Light Academia style, and my appearance is tall, chin length blonde hair, blue eyes, my build is all arms and legs, athletic-ish. I'm usually listening to soundtracks. I love pasta and love making tea and toast as a snack. Baking is my current favorite hobby, but I also read, sew, dance, and run. Summer is my favorite season, but I like them all in their own way. I drink far too much tea. I can be timid, but I try to be friendly as much as possible. I'm loyal to my friends, always want to make them smile, and one of my favorite things is to make people their favorite dessert or treat just because.

Thank you again for your wonderful works!

Hi May!!! It's always so nice to see you in my notifs and inbox! Thank you so much for submitting, and I genuinely hope you like what I wrote! And I hope 2023 has been going well for you too!

Sam's Pen and Sword 300 Follower Celebration (Closed)

MAY'S FOLLOWER CELEBRATION REQUEST

Ship request 👄

When I was reading your request, I instantly thought of Obi-Wan Kenobi. The two of you both drink excessive amounts of tea, you're just his type (tall, thin, blue eyes, short blond hair), and he has a huge weakness for anything you cook or bake. The two of you like to talk about the things you've read recently over a plate of his favorite treats (I imagine it to be a selection of homemade shortbreads). You also introduced him to soundtracks, and though he admits that he's not the biggest music lover in the galaxy, soundtracks are a great deal better than the shit Anakin listens to. He has become particularly fond of soundtracks with lots of calm piano movements or lush string orchestras. He would love the opportunity to see you dance one day, even if it's just something you do for fun and exercize - he will never get tired of seeing you do things you enjoy. And he's adopted a habit of brushing his fingers over the seams where you've mended his clothes. In that way, you're always with him.

You tried your very best not to laugh as Obi-Wan paced across the living room, but you couldn't quite manage to conceal your amused smile. A book was held in your hands, a physical book with flimsi and binding, and you followed Obi-Wan's movements with your eyes, the open book raised to your smiling mouth. "- do not understand his inability to think before he acts. He's reckless! And did I mention that this was the third fighter he's crashed this week! I cannot -" A cup of tea and plate of shortbread cookies sat untouched on your coffee table, and you had learned that it was best to just let Obi-Wan get it out. Much like the padawan he was currently ranting about, it was best to just let him get it out. He'd feel better once he did and then he'd sit and take a sip of the just-perfectly-cooled tea, tension falling from his shoulders. And indeed, less than two minutes later, Obi-Wan fell onto the couch beside you, taking a long drink of the tea you'd made. The tension melted from him, and he leaned back, eyes closing with a little hum of appreciation. "Feel better?" you asked, still amused. "I know you're laughing at me." You were. You always took pleasure from Obi-Wan's little rants about Anakin. Not only because you knew he didn't mean a word of them, but because you found it endlessly funny how Obi-Wan could be so exasperated at the way Anakin put his all into his missions and battles, in a way he had learned from Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan, of course, failed to realize this. Anyone who knew better knew that Anakin was the way he was because he had learned from Obi-Wan. The man you loved could be as reckless as his former padawan. Leaping before he looked. Cutting once before measuring twice. Acting before considering. People heard Obi-Wan's eloquent words and saw his charming smiles and assumed he thought everything through before he acted. You knew better. So did anyone who knew Obi-Wan. Commander Cody and you had had more than one wine fest where the two of you laughed and bitched over how much Obi-Wan scolded Anakin for simply mirroring his own behaviors back at him. Those two, you mentally laughed. Closer than brothers. So close they just couldn't see how similar they really were. You swore one day you and Padme were going to lock the pair in a closet together and force them to air out all the words Obi-Wan was too restrained to say and all the confessions Anakin was too scared to trust his master and brother with. You and Padme liked to joke that Anakin and Obi-Wan confiding in each other would inevitably be what saved the galaxy from the war. Ah, if only. Obi-Wan, still perceiving your amusement, cracked an eye open and looked at you. You reached over and fondly brushed a lock of copper hair out of his face. "Something funny, my dear?" You knew he knew you were still laughing at him. But you simply smiled at him. "Happy to have you home, Obi-Wan." Obi-Wan smiled too. He leaned over and kissed you soundly. Tenderly. And with that, you knew he was glad to be home, too.

[robinofgothamcity]

scenario: you start seeing Jon which leads to the two of you having to hide it from your family and especially Damian.

pairing: jon kent ( superboy ) x fem! reader

note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / can you tell my kent family hyperfixation hasn't left yet? i swear it's becoming an issue lmaooo but this might actually be the longest fic i've written for this blog.

you talked with your friends who you had snuck into the gala with. Rachel had begrudgingly agreed to come to meanwhile Cass and Steph were the only other ones who agreed to come on their own accord.

"Damian, your only friend is here," Dick said, earning a kick from his younger brother before getting up and leaving you and Raven alone. you knew it was a rare occasion that she even decided to show up so you didn't want to leave her alone. "we probably won't see my brother for the rest of the night. whenever his friend comes, it's like everyone becomes a background character. for him being my adopted 'twin' brother, I have yet to meet this friend."

Raven laughed as you saw the wine that the couple on the dance left on your table drunkenly. the bottle was little more than half-filled and you gave one quick look to Raven before pouring the wine into both of your glasses and discarding it right away.

"to not having fun for the rest of the night," you giggled as the two of you chugged the wine down in a mere few seconds, "drier than I thought it would be but it beats having to pay for it," Raven muttered as you agreed to sneak another bottle from the bartender so you wouldn't have to pay for it. even with your dad paying for all your necessities, the drinks at his galas were far too expensive for you to even willingly pay for them yourself. the only reason why he even paid for all your expenses was because you agreed to skip out on college to help run some parts of Wayne Enterprises with your brother.

another reason why you couldn't exactly go and pay for it yourself was because Bruce was not one to exactly be chippy at the idea of you getting plastered drunk at one of his public galas. "I got one of two ideas. one: I'll go flirt with the bartender and you can sneak behind him and get the other bottle or two: I can flirt with the bartender for enough time to see if he'll just willingly give it to us," you told Raven as she nodded with option two.

the bartender happened to be in his younger 50s. you recognized him from previous WE events and although he was familiar with your family, you doubted that he would say anything to your dad about you flirting him with. all you had to do was push the top of the dress down a bit and hike up the bottom to get his attention.

"hey Martin," you said, leaning up against the bar table and smiling, "enjoying the night?" you asked as you saw him flinch back in surprise. he nodded, trying to divert his eyes from looking at you in anyway you could have felt to be disrespectful.

"I was thinking, how much does the bottle of Lafite Rothschild go for?" you asked, giving him a pouty face. he gulped nervously, "almost ten grand ma'am," he replied, grabbing it from the wine stand, "even for me? I mean, my dad must've paid for it so does it even go for that much considering I am his child?" he asked.

you could tell that you had caught him in a predicament, "I would assume not, I assume you're twenty one, right?" he murmured, handing you the precious bottle. you smiled (a fake one that anyone could see through) and nodded before giving the old man a light kiss on the cheek, "thanks Martin, I appreciate it," you said, giving him a wave before leaving.

Raven perked up seeing the bottle in your hand, "snagged a ten thousand dollar bottle," you said excitedly as you waved it in your hand. Raven stared at you in shock, "you got a ten thousand dollar bottle in less than five minutes?" she exclaimed.

you giggled before whispering in her ear, "the benefits of being a child of Bruce Wayne is that you can practically get away with anything. especially when you're the daughter." you popped open the bottle as you handed her the wine glass and poured the drink with care. you gave her a slight cheers before taking a small sip and being pleasantly surprised that it wasn't as dry for a wine with a huge amount of alcohol percentage.

as the night progressed, you and Raven got actively more drunk. you hadn't realized how hard the wine had hit you until Raven was drunkenly getting pulled home by Gar as you sat at the table with a little less than the bottle still full. you hadn't seen your dad or brother all night and you figured they must've been pulled into doing Batfamily work at some point and left you alone with Steph or Cass. hell, maybe even Dick if he was still around.

you weren't actively apart of the vigilante work all of your siblings did but you did help them out with the technical parts of it when Tim wasn't available. you didn't really like fighting or risking your life so after you graduated, you interned at Wayne Enterprises under Tim's orders while Damian worked under your dad.

at the age of twenty-one, you still hadn't met most of the league for the exception of Wonder Woman and The Flash. the rest were strangers in your head and much to Damian's luck, he wanted to keep it that way. at least in his case with Jon.

"ow, I am so sorry," you slurred as you managed to hit someone on the shoulder. he chuckled seeing as how you were not attempting to get up, "you okay there ma'am?" the man with a southern accent asked. you giggled as you attempted to get up, "I'm ( your name ) and you are?" you asked.

"Jon Kent, pleasure to meet you," he said, kissing your hand. you blushed as you heard one of your favorite songs come through the speakers, "would you like to dance?" you asked, not even caring that you had met this just a few mere seconds ago. he nodded, figuring that since Damian left him stranded at the gala, he had nothing to lose.

the song 'telepatia' by Kali Uchis played throughout the ballroom. Jon immediately took the reigns as the lead as the lights got dimmer and you danced against Jon sensually. "what got you dragged here?" you asked Jon. "my best friend invited me as his plus one. you?" he whispered in your ear, "I work for the company so I kind of had to attend," you managed to say before turning around and facing him.

you looked at Jon with drunken yet loving eyes, "you're handsome, you know that?" you said with no hesitation in your face. Jon laughed, placing his hand on your cheek, "right back at ya, darlin'," he replied as the song switched to another one of your favorite songs.

side to side by ariana grande started.

you shrugged, feeling as though you had nothing to lose and got up on your toes gave Jon a kiss on his lips. he was slightly taken back but played it off by returning it. the two of you remained kissing through the entirety of the song until Jon felt a familiar tap on his shoulder.

"I gotta go but if you're up for it, I'd love for ya to give me your number," you nodded excitedly as you practically snatched his phone from his hand and typed it in as quickly as possible with your name having a hundred emoji's next to it, "text me in the morning!" you screamed.

Jon laughed before following Damian from behind, "you suck, you know that!" Jon exclaimed, "I meet one girl I actually like and you drag me away!" Damian rolled his eyes, "please, you act like there isn't more girls out there to hit on." this time, it was Jon's turn to roll his eyes, "I got her number so I guess that's a plus."

you woke up the next morning with a pounding headache but to a few messages on your phone. you smiled realizing that it was the boy you had met the night before.

"good morning...or actually good afternoon!"

Jon laughed from his side of the phone.

"good afternoon darlin'. I hope you had a good sleep."

you were texting your way down the stairs, greeting Alfred and Bruce before grabbing a plate of lunch and sitting down on the bar top. "what time you'd make it home?" Bruce asked, sensing the hangover you had. "a bit past midnight. drank a bottle of Lafite with Raven before dancing with a boy you invited," you said honestly.

Bruce felt himself go stiff at the admittance of you drinking the Lafite bottle but remained silent as Alfred placed Advil and one of your Gatorades next to you. "yeah, whoever must've danced with you last night must've been drunk too because you'd want to dance with you?" Damian said coming down the stairs.

you threw him a fork, Damian dodging it with ease, "I'd shut up if I were you. I'm actually getting coffee with the guy in like an hour," you replied, chugging down the rest of the food before getting up and going to your room, "yeah and I pray for the man who now has to deal with you," Damian screamed loud enough for you to hear.

you pulled on a skirt and tights before slipping on a sweater and fixing your hair and quickly doing your makeup. you grabbed the keys from your bag and took the back entrance to get to your car. one of the benefits of getting paid so much was that you were able to afford cars that were out of price range for a lot of people your age.

the coffee shop you decided to meet Jon at was a few blocks into the heart of central Gotham. you got a table farthest from the crowd as you didn't want any attention on you and your potential boyfriend. you saw Jon approaching at the front of the coffee shop and pulled on your sunglasses so no one outside could see who you were.

"nice to meet you, this time with me not being drunk," you told Jon, giving him a friendly kiss on the cheek, "pleasure is all mine sweetheart," he replied, putting his arm around your shoulder. you got up to the front of cashier and scanned the menu.

"I'd like a venti mocha with oatmilk, what about you?" you asked Jon as he scanned the menu nervously before muttering that he hardly orders coffee. you smiled, "and an order of a grande peppermint hot chocolate," you added on as you took your card out, Jon's eyes widening at the black American Express card.

"wow, Wayne Enterprises must pay you really well," he exasperated, "yeah, I guess you could say that," you said as hesitantly as possible. after the two of you got the coffees, you got back to the table as you took off your sunglasses in a sigh of relief.

"do you really wear sunglasses everywhere you go?" Jon asked. you debated on telling him the actual reason but decided on a vague answer, "eh, it's more for secrecy. I guess if I get another date, I might tell you the real reason," you winked, making Jon blush.

+

through the weeks, you decided to keep the biggest part of your life a semi secret to Jon still. he knew vaguely of a few things but one mistake on your end managed to throw all of that away in more ways than one.

you were walking downtown with Jon, his hand grasping yours as the two of you roamed an area of town that you knew didn't have major significance to WE. you were holding a coffee in one hand as you walked about a few things that happened to you that week to Jon. it wasn't until you walked towards a busy street that your heart fell to your stomach.

a huge billboard, like signs you would see on highways, of you and Damian representing Wayne Enterprises stood in the middle of an intersection. you stared at the ground, your one secret given away as Jon stared down at you, a look of shock in his eyes.

"wait, you work with Damian Wayne?" he asked as he could tell that you did not want to look at him. you sighed, a bit scared, "work partners might be a little too far from what we are," you gulped, finally realizing that you had to admit to your family ties.

Jon looked at you, now more confused than shocked.

what you didn't know was that at the same time that you were about to confess everything to Jon, a paparazzi had taken dozens of photos of you and Jon that were immediately uploaded to various Twitter accounts and gossip magazines.

"Damian Wayne is my adopted brother. Bruce Wayne is my adopted dad. that's why I have a lot more money than any regular Wayne Enterprise worker."

Jon immediately stumbled to the ground, not expecting that answer coming from you. you immediately felt tears hitting your eyes as you figured that maybe Jon didn't want to be with someone so rich and famous. someone's whose family was always in the spotlight.

"DAMIAN WAYNE IS YOUR BROTHER?" Jon screamed, catching you off guard as this was the first time Jon had ever screamed at you. you nodded, trying not to look at him in the eyes, "he's going to kill me. your entire family is going to plot my murder. I'm a dead man. Clark is going to find me in a ditch," Jon started talking to himself.

it was now your turn to look at Jon confused, "wait, what?" you asked, wiping your tears. "YOUR BROTHER IS MY BEST FRIEND. Damian Wayne is Robin and I'm Superboy!" he whispered the last part, "I've been dating my best friends sister this entire time without realizing it!" he screamed.

you finally connected the dots. every time Damian said he was going on patrol with Superboy meant that he was going to hang out with Jon and every time Damian said that Jon turned down a patrol session usually meant that you were going on a date with him. both of you stared at each other, not knowing what to say.

"small world, eh?" you asked, trying to defuse the tension, "guess we better figure out a way to tell them, huh?" Jon replied as you both heard your phone going off with texts and calls. you opened it to see that Dick, Bruce, Tim, and even Jason and Alfred were frantically calling you.

"hello, what happened?" you asked, picking up Dick's call. "GET HOME NOW!" he yelled through the phone as you heard Damian's screeching voice from the other side, "why? what happened?" you asked, staring at Jon now in fear.

"SHE'S DATING JON? I'M GOING TO KILL HIM BEFORE I KILL HER!" you heard Damian scream before something broke, "pictures of you kissing Jon came to the public on Twitter and he saw them," Jason said, half annoyed.

both of your hearts fell to your stomach as you realized it was now or never. everyone knew of your relationship and it wasn't even something both of you tried to do intentionally. you grabbed Jon's hand, yours shaking in fear as you got into the passenger side of his beat up red truck. he could tell you were beyond scared to go home and he now knew it was time. he had to man up before it got worse and you attempted to break up with him.

once you arrived to Wayne Manor, you sat still, not moving an inch. "it'll be okay darlin', I promise it won't be too bad," he murmured as he opened your door. you nodded as you hopped off and started walking towards the door.

you could hear Damian's yells still going on from the other side door as you opened it. you grasped Jon's hand and walked into the living space, Damian's eyes immediately looking at you before charging to Jon with every ounce of strength he had. Jason quickly grabbed you as Jon dodged him and Damian went straight to attack him again. you couldn't bare to look at the sight and felt tears spring to your eyes as you hid your face into Jason's side.

"hey, you okay?" Jason asked. he could see the tears in your eyes which instantly made him a bit upset. "enough," Jason screamed, catching everyone's attention. Jon and Damian saw the hurt look on your face and as soon as Jon realized you were upset at the fight he was having, he kicked Damian off of him and walked towards you.

he grabbed your hand and whispered an apology into your ear as he stroked your cheek lovingly, "I'm sorry dear but I wasn't expecting Damian to do this," Jon said as Damian watched the way Jon was treating you. a part of him knew that Jon would treat you right. Jon wasn't like your typical average boy but the fact that neither of you told him is what set him off and seeing you being so lovingly with Jon set him off again.

Damian ran towards Jon again but this time, you shielded him which made him stop immediately, "Damian, stop, please," you croaked. Bruce saw you trying to neutralize the situation and stood next to Damian, hinting at him to quit it, "I'm sorry we never told you but the reason why we never did was because we had no idea who the other was. I didn't know Jon was your best friend and clearly didn't know that he was Superboy and he had no idea I was even related to you nevertheless your sister. please, if it's anyone's fault, it's mine," you explained.

Dick, Jason, and Tim stared at Jon who grabbed your hand and pulled you to the side, "and I would have never made the move if I knew she was your sister but we fell in love and it was like a soulmate connection. we were meant for each other and I want her to be in my life. she's it for me," Dick sighed mesmerized as Tim and Jason gagged at the cheesy confession.

Damian growled, "if you even think of hurting her, Clark will be down one son and I mean it. that's my sister and no man will ever be good enough for her. you are my best friend and she might be a pain in my ass, she means the world to me. I will not hesitate to dig your grave and bury you alive if I see one tear of sadness coming down her face," Damian stated before hitting Jon on the shoulder purposely before walking away.

you smiled, your heart swelling at Damian's speech. he never once said anything like that about you and in his Damian way of being, you knew this was his way of accepting your relationship with Jon. you smiled at Jon before giving him a huge kiss on the lips, making your dad and all of your brothers gag at the sight.

"okay, save that shit for privacy, no one needs to see that," Jason said as he walked away. Bruce gave you one look before turning to Jon, "your father knows in case you were wondering but feel free to stay for dinner if you'd like," Bruce said before walking away with Tim and Dick walking away with him.

"I love you," you whispered to Jon as he let out a laugh against your lips, "I love you too and I'm all of this was cleared out." you nodded in agreement as you grasped his hand, "wanna come up to my room? I figured we should catch some sleep before Alfred calls everyone for dinner and Damian starts another fight," Jon agreed, giving you a kiss on your head as the two of you walked up the stairs.

[forbidding-souda]

Heya!! How are you today?

Tomorrow is Christmas, so I hope you have/had a merry Christmas!

Well, since the festivities are coming, can I request Teruteru × reader celabrating christmas?

Thank you so much! Good night!

Also, since I did some requests, I'm thinking I might take an emoji!

Would it be okay if I took the 🌙 emoji? ( I'm not sure which ones are available tho )

Bye bye!

Teruteru Hanamura celebrating Christmas with his S/O

I'm not sure which ones are available also so just free reign i suppose LMFAO

[I don't celebrate christmas but] You have a good christmas as well!! i'm writing this right now specifically because it's a holiday themed one so yatzee teruteru community getting fed well on this blog

i did way too much research on what christmas is like in japan istg - めりーくりすます slash メリークリスマス in katakana (merry christmas)

-Mod Souda

❤ You stayed up with his mom. He wanted to stay up with you guys, but she convinced him to go to sleep. It will be a surprise for all her babies - Teruteru and his brother and sister. Plus, she gets to spend time with you. She has heard so much about you, as you have with her. The two of you made cake first, almost as a warm up to see how you get along. You were extremely willing to help her out, as if she really needed any help cooking-wise. His younger sister had tried to sneak downstairs at the smell of something fresh, but his mother kicked her out of the kitchen. Her and Teruteru had ordered the celebratory KFC months in advance, as well as preparing their own ham, something to be warmed on the day.

❤ Christmas Eve was spent solely with him. You had dressed nice for the cold weather of the mornings, wearing jackets and scarves as the two of you went on walks in the morning. This country side around you has lights hanging up by the scenery, the trees a light purple color, even in the illumination of the morning. The leafless trees sparkle. He had gotten you a funko pop - one that looks just like you. You opened the present at a table for two in a nice, home-y restaurant. Neither of you preferred rich, wealthy places. The at-home styled ones are much more romantic. Your gift for him was better to be opened at home, so after dinner, you had handed him the box with a smile. It was a masamoto knife - to be honest, you had googled possible gifts for him, as he is not really much of a needy person, and everything he wants he already has.

"Good morning," you whisper into his ear. Usually, at his moms house, he wakes up before you. His mother always wakes up early, making tea and taking her meds. You are extremely excited for Christmas with his family so you hardly could sleep.

He opens his black eyes, his hand going to his hair, brushing it away from his face. It goes to his shoulders. "Honey-bunch, merry Christmas."

You kiss his cheek. "Mmm, merry Christmas."

When he sits up, you continue, standing and heading towards the door. "Now hurry up and pee, I've been waiting all night for you to wake up."

❤ With the mickey mouse ears on his younger siblings heads, they watch the parade, the joy from the characters being heavily contagious. Teruteru held your hand.

❤ His younger brother hands you a stocking - and you were confused for a second. His mother simply laughed and told you that she had put together a stocking for you, too, since you're apart of the family now. Even his sister had bought you something to put in it.

❤ Beyond his younger siblings trying to seduce you, they are extremely friendly, making you wonder why he even talks bad about them. What you didn't see is the multiple times he's caught his brothers wrist when he tried to touch you.

❤ There's a lot of dancing to the choral music on the tv, where it's almost the only 'internet' you can get in the country side.

❤ In between the hours, the two of you sit on the couch together, with your legs slung over his lap. He holds you tightly in his arms and hums. He hums a lot to soothe you.

❤ A lot of trying to 'wshhh' the whip cream into your mouth without his mother noticing or hearing.

[oonajaeadira]

So here's the deal, you are by far the friendliest blog I have interacted with so I'm gonna ask you for some advice. Only if you're up to it of course! I have this guy I worked with for two summers, he had a girlfriend when I knew him (not sure if he still does) he has not spoken to me since August and now he wants to hang out, I am terrified that he means as a date and I do not want that at all. Any ideas on how to say no thanks without being the bitch?? Again you are not obligated to advise me just thought I'd ask!

You think I'm friendly? You need to meet some of my moots. There are so many friendlies around here....

Dang it I'm so sorry, this got long. I'm a chatty ass.

Well my first question is, are you amenable to hanging out with him if it isn't a date? If so, you could just say, "Sure, it would be nice to have some friend time." That could very kindly be your roadsign for him.

If he isn't going to make your life difficult, you could always ask him what he wants. Sometimes the very simplest honesty is best and gets the point across in a way that shuts down follow-up asks. Although, if he is pushy and says that he would like to date you, it's really best if you just give him a plain no, coupled with a sincere compliment. A little sugar for the medicine. "I think you're a an amazing artist/fun to be around/good person, but I don't think we should date." Any further pushing and you can gently ask him why he would continue to pursue someone who has told him kindly that they are not interested? That certainly isn't in his best interest.

I know it feels awkward to straight up ask. You don't want him to make fun of you for assuming if you're wrong, and you don't want him to feel bad about it if you aren't. But you will run into less hurt / cause less hurt in the long run and prevent things dragging on if all parties communicate and are on the same page from the very beginning. (This goes for all relationships--friends, lovers, coworkers, even with your grocery bagger. It really takes practice, but I assure you, after a while it gets easier and makes your life so much less stressful.)

And if you're afraid that it might make things weird between you, hang a bell on it. That is, call out the obvious. "I'm sorry, friend, this is a really awkward question, but are you asking to hang out as friends or as a date? Because..." And follow it up with your "because." If you just leave it hanging on "are you" then he is the one trying to determine what you want to hear. You are putting him in the vulnerable position and if it's a date and you turn him down, then you just set him up to shoot him down. But add that "because" clause, take the vulnerability onto yourself, intone that it's making you feel a little vulnerable to ask the question, and tell him why you need to ask it. "Because I'm not looking to date anyone," "Because I don't think I want that," "Because I would rather remain friends." Whatever your reason. It takes the pressure off him and makes things less awkward in the long run, it gets to the point up front so things don't drag out.

If you don't want to hang out in either capacity, you probably should just say no. But I understand if you feel that's too forward. There is a softer out, you can just say "Possibly; let me think about it." If he asks what that means, you say it again. "It means we can possibly hang out, but I'd like to think about it." (What you're doing here is telling him there's a boundary that he's come too close to. You're allowed to have personal boundaries, and if you need someone's permission, I'm giving it to you.) If he pushes, then he's being rude and you have an excuse not to take him up on hangouts. But if he lets it drop, yahtzee. You don't have to answer right now. And it's also the kind of answer that may make him think. If you didn't say yes right away, maybe you don't wanna hang out with him, and maybe he won't ask again. After all, how would you view someone who said "possibly, let me think about it" when you asked them to hang out? As a human being living in our delicate human society, I would feel like that person doesn't want me around enough and either isn't worth my time or I'm not worth theirs...or I'd try not to be so sensitive and realize that I've overstepped their boundaries and should back off and let them make the next move.

Will that cause him to think you're a bitch? Maybe. It depends if he makes it about him or about you. Is there a 100% proof way to get out of spending time with this person when you don't want to and not be thought of negatively? No. But. You have to remember that you really have no control over what other people think of you. No matter what you do, people will form their own opinion. That's not for you to control. Yes, of course you want the people you love to want to spend time with you and think highly of you. so you do your best to treat them in a way that will make them think that way. But here you have a person you may not really want to spend time on. You could turn him down in the most gentle way possible without a stitch of cruelty and he could think you're the biggest bitch in the world just because he didn't get what he wanted. That might happen. You are not responsible for his happiness or his opinion of you. There are plenty of other people in the world who hold high opinions of you. The alternative is that you don't turn him down, you suffer through hanging out with him....why? So that he thinks you're nice? (Which he still might not because you can't control his thoughts?) And then when you finally can't stand it anymore and snap and ghost him, then he REALLY thinks you're a bitch?

If he's a mature human being he may be hurt at first, but he will remember you later as the person who was honest to him up front and did not string him along just to be nice. And THAT is admirable.

But go forward remembering this:

You're not responsible for anyone's happiness but your own.

You will never be able to control the thoughts of others, so the faster you can give up worrying about what someone thinks of you, the happier you will be; just worry about being the person YOU want to think highly of.

And if you want to be compassionate, always give answers that are a combo of truth and kindness.

I hope that helps, love. <3

[nashibirne]

Painkiller - 1

This is part 1 of my second, longer Henry Cavill fic. Slow-burn-friends-to-lovers again, I just like this kind of story and I hope you're gonna like it too.

One important note: I'm a curvy woman myself and the last OFC I shipped with Henry was curvy too, so I decided the OFC in this story should be different. She's lean and without curves and I hope I portrayed her and her thoughts on her bodily features, that come up in later chapters, well. I know you very slim babes out there have body issues too and I hope you find yourself represented in this story. 

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC (Ella)

Summary: Henry meets a woman that he really likes right from the beginning, but it starts with pain...

Warnings: None, I guess. Smut in upcoming chapters but not yet

Unbeta'ed! English is not my first language so please be warned. 

Taglist: @hell1129-blog @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @lunedelorient @agniavateira @mis-lil-red

Next parts can be found here

Here we go....

*****

1

It started with pain for both of them. 

"Oooof." The punch came unexpected and hit her hard right under her eye, sharp pain radiating from her cheekbone through her skull, leaving her dizzy and disoriented for a moment. It felt like someone had sounded a gong inside her head. Loud and hard. She squeezed her eyes shut and raised her hands reflexively up to her face, throwing away the cup in her hand without thinking about it.

"Ouch..." The glass mug hit his back almost the same moment he heard the woman that was sitting behind him on a barstool wince in pain when his elbow met her cheekbone only centimeters below her eye. A hot liquid ran down his spine leaving a burning trace that hurt like hell. The mug fell to the floor beside his feet, surprisingly undamaged.

He turned around, his face red from the attempt to suppress the pain, facing the woman he had just accidentally hit.

"Oh shit... I'm so sorry. Are...are you okay?" He stammered, waving his hands about wildly, unsure whether to comfort her through a touch or to stay away from her.

She blinked several times before looking at him, her hurt eye was watering and the skin below it was dark red. She started rubbing the aching spot, still blinking continuously.

"Hey, are you alright?" he repeated with a troubled expression.

"Yeah...yeah. I'm fine I guess." She shook her head to get rid of the blur and tried a smile, clinging on to the edge of the bar.

"I'm so so sorry. It really was an accident. I didn't see you. I was gesticulating a little too wildly, talking to my friend over here." He turned around to introduce her to his set assistant Marc but he was nowhere to be seen. So no support was to be expected from this side. How the hell has he managed to vanish this fast, he wondered.

"You have an invisible friend you talk to at parties?" she said looking at him suspiciously.

"I swear he was there just a second ago..." Now his face was red from embarrassment rather than pain and he ran his hand over the burning area on his back unconsciously.

"Oh no...my Darjeeling." she looked at the big light brown spot, that was spread all over the back of his white shirt.  "I spilled my tea on you. That must burn like fire. I'm so sorry." Her eyes were wide with shock...well at least the one that hadn't involuntarily got to know his elbow.

"Oh no...no worries. I'm fine...hardly noticed it. What about your eye?"

"Well, I guess I'm going to have a very pretty shiner tomorrow."

He turned around to the Bartender. "Could we have some ice please?" The man took a look at her and started shoveling some ice cubes into a little plastic bag immediately. With a nod he gave it to her and she pressed it onto the bruise carefully.

"Sorry. Again." He gave her a sheepish smile. "Let me order you a new cup of tea, okay?"

"I'd prefer something harder now to be honest. A coke please." She grinned and gave him a wink with her good eye which instantly made him feel less guilty and much better.

"You're a real badass, huh? A big party and you drink tea first and now even a coke?" He gave her a cheeky smile. "Not as badass as you. You show up with the invisible man and beat up innocent, unsuspecting women." she answered quick-wittedly and then they simultaneously burst out laughing.

"I'm Henry, by the way." He said when they had calmed down, offering her his hand.

"Ella." she said, shaking it. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too. Though the circumstances are suboptimal."

"Nevermind. Tomorrow I can tell all my friends Henry Cavill hit on me at a party and it won't even be a lie."

He laughed out loud.

"Damn...you've recognized me."

"Yeah...you should have worn the Clark Kent glasses." She replied with a grin. "Without them it wasn't too hard to figure it out. Plus this is the Witcher wrap party so I was kind of expecting to see you."

"Fair enough."

"Is your back really ok? The tea was boiling hot, I bet you have a heavy burn..."

"I'm good...you know...Man of Steel...tea can't hurt me." he grinned widely.

"Uh-huh...and I thought you might use one of Geralt's magic potions to ease the pain."

"Maybe we should use something like that on your cheek."

"I'll be fine. Don't worry. A black eye will match my badass personality perfectly." She removed the ice bag and touched the area below her lower lid with her fingertips, managing to give him a nonchalant smile.

"You're not part of the team, are you? I don't think I've ever seen you before. Are you here by yourself or with someone?" Henry tried to sound as casual as possible when in fact he was dying to know whether she was single or not.

"No, I'm here with a friend. He's part of the props master team and I helped him to find some special antiquarian books and maps. That's why he asked me to accompany him tonight. As a treat and as a thank you."

"And where is your friend?" Henry scanned the room for someone who was looking for her. Fuming with jealousy maybe. But there was no one.

"I don't have a clue. He went to find the restrooms a while ago..." she shrugged. "He promised to be back soon but maybe he ran into the cute waiter he was drooling over earlier and now they're making out in the storage room or something." Ella grinned, rolling her eyes.

"I see." Henry laughed, relieved that her friend apparently was a gay friend. "Well, then I regard it as my duty to keep you company till he returns."

"How very chivalrous." she raised her eyebrows, an amused smile playing on her lips. "But I think you're already off the hook. There he comes." She nodded at a tall, athletic looking man that approached them with a guilty look on his handsome face. He was in his late-twenties and looked like a member of a motorcycle club, dressed in leather trousers, a white t-shirt and heavy black biker boots. His arms were both completely covered with tattoos, nose and eyebrow were pierced and he had tunnels in both earlobes. He held a black leather jacket in one hand, running the other hand through his thick black hair. Henry recognized him immediately. He had been on set quite a few times and his co-star Freya had a huge crush on him, talking about him almost non-stop. 

"Sorry, sorry, sorry." The guy said when he was in earshot, raising his hands defensively. "It wasn't my fault. I ran right into my boss and she insisted on having a drink with me."

"Only one?" Ella grinned at him. "You look a little tipsy."

"And you look fucked up. Shit, Elsie...what happened to your face?" He came closer, inspecting her eye, lightly touching the bruise, which made her flinch.

"He beat me up." Ella cocked her head, looking at Henry, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Accidentally!" Henry clarified hastily.

"How's that even possible?"

"It's complicated." Ella laughed. "I'll tell you later. You know each other?" She looked back and forth between them.

"Sure. You're Jackson, right?" Henry said with a big friendly smile.

"Um..yes. I am." The surprise was written all over Jackson's face. "And you are Henry Cavill and you know my name..."

"I saw you on set a few times and heard Fr...someone...call you by your name."

"Oh, wow...that's pretty dope." 

"Yeah...dope." Henry laughed. "Well... I'm gonna leave you to it then. I spotted my invisible friend over there and I really have a bone to pick with him." 

***

Henry just couldn't stop looking at her. He was standing on the other side of the room with Marc and some other members of the team, having a beer and some tiny bits of finger food. The others were chatting and laughing but he wasn't really able to follow their conversation. He rather watched Ella sitting at the bar, talking to Jackson, touching her bruise from time to time. To Henry's big relief she seemed to be alright but he still couldn't stop observing her. 

He probably wouldn't have noticed her under normal circumstances, sitting there all on her own, trying to stay in the background. She wasn't the kind of woman that turned everybody's heads when she entered a room. She was attractive for sure, but not in an eye-catching way. She had more of a girl-next-door aura than being a bomb-shell. More pretty than hot, more down-to-earth than extravagant, more being game for anything than drama queen and for all these reasons she was exactly Henry's type. 

She was quite tall, almost eye to eye with him, but then again she was wearing sky-high Louboutins. She wore her ebony-black hair in a cute pixie cut which matched her pretty face with the big green eyes perfectly. She was very lean but not skinny and though Henry normally prefered curvy women he liked her slim stature. It simply suited her really well. Just like the black pantsuit she wore, the tight trousers that showed off her long, well-formed legs and the short, waisted jacket that she wore open over a close-fitting red top that matched the soles of her shoes.

But what really captivated him was her personality. Henry liked the way she had handled that whole awkward situation. Instead of getting angry or behaving bitchy she had been so calm, understanding and humorous, so completely unpretentious, Henry was still impressed. She knew who he was but she didn't make a fuss about it. She could have easily tried to take advantage of the situation but she had not. She had simply treated him like an ordinary bloke and he appreciated that very much. Ella seemed to be a smart and interesting woman. A woman he wanted to learn more about, a woman who inspired his hunting instinct and at the same time there was something about her that made him feel insecure. Maybe because their first encounter was more of a meet-brute than a meet-cute and he was still embarrassed about it.

When he looked at her again he smirked, raising his glass a little. She laughed before she returned the smile.

*****

"He keeps on checking you out." Jackson said when he noticed the glances Henry gave Ella.

"He's not checking me out, Jax."

"So why does he look at you again and again?" 

"Maybe he's concerned I'm going to sue him for bodily harm." Ella grinned.

"I doubt that. I think he's into you."

"Oh come on...don't be silly. He's Henry Cavill and I'm...well, I'm...me."

"You seemed to get along very well when I watched you from afar."

"He was being polite, because he almost knocked me out."

"You laughed a lot." Jackson pointed out.

"Yeah, he's a funny guy. Very quick-witted."

"And handsome." 

"Oh yes. He's breathtaking. It should be illegal to be this attractive and nice." Ella sighed.

"Look! He's doing it again. He's glancing at you."

Ella turned to Henry's direction, locking eyes with him. When he raised his glass with a sexy smirk she laughed and smiled back.

"See?" Jackson asked triumphantly.

"Okay, okay. But I still think he's just being nice because he has a guilty conscience. If he was interested in me he would have asked for my number or something."

"Maybe he's a little shy." Jackson wasn't willing to give up that easily.

"Yeah...sure." Ella laughed giving her best friend a playful head slap. "Let's drop the topic, okay." 

"If you insist..." Jackson rolled his eyes.

"I do. Besides...I really have a bad headache. I can't think straight right now."

"Maybe a mild concussion. Let's call an Uber and get you home, Elsie. You have to rest."

"Yeah, maybe you're right."

****

When Henry realized that Ella and Jackson were about to leave the party he started to panic. If he let her go now he wouldn't see her again but he really wanted to. So he hastily made his way through the crowd, parting it with his body like Moses parted the Red Sea with his staff. He didn't know what exactly he was going to do or say but it shouldn't be that hard. A flirtatious line, a bright smile, ask for her number. Easy.

"Ella!" 

She turned around when she heard her name, surprised to see Henry, his gestures indicating to her that she should wait for him. She tugged at Jackson's shirt to make him wait too, nodding in Henry's direction. Her friend just raised an eyebrow meaningfully.

"Ella." Henry repeated when he reached her, almost tripping over his own feet.

"Yes?" she looked at him expectantly.

"I...um..." He gave her a lopsided smile. "I was wondering if you maybe want to give me your number so I can...um...check on you tomorrow. To make sure you're fine and...well..yeah...just in case your eye gets worse or something." 

That didn't come out half as smooth as planned. 

"Oh...yeah. Sure." Ella agreed without hesitation though she was pretty surprised. Surprised and happy that he wanted to stay in touch. Even if it was just to make sure she wasn't hurt badly. Henry gave her his phone and she typed in her number and her name, screwing up her eyes because her headache was killing her.

"Are you okay?" Henry placed a hand on her shoulder, a concerned look on his face.

"Yeah. I'm fine. It's just...my head hurts a little."

"Shit. This is all my fault. You might possibly have a concussion. I should take you to hospital. You need to see a doctor, Ella."

"No, it's okay. I just need a painkiller and a good night's sleep. My brother can take a look at me tomorrow, he's a paramedic."

"Really?" He didn't sound convinced.

"Really." She smiled at him, patting his hand that still rested on her shoulder, warm and soothing. Her touch made his body tingle in a way it hadn't tingled for a very long time.

"I'm gonna get her home and make sure she'll be fine." Jackson threw in. "I can stay the night, keep an eye on you, Elsie. Just in case, okay?"

"Okay." Ella agreed, turning to her friend with a grateful nod.

"Thanks, Jackson. That really makes me feel better." Henry was visibly relieved.

"Yeah, no biggie. And don't worry. I won't touch her. I would of course if I was straight  because she's really great. But I'm not and well...yeah...she's single by the way." Jackson blurted out.

"Jax!" Ella's cheeks turned deep red.

"That's...um...good to know." Henry grinned, blushing a little too.

****

tbc

[imagine-your-love-story]

Thank you for encouraging a safe space on Tumblr. It might seem like basic courtesy to leave people be, leave them their comfort and creative freedom, but apparently it's not. As someone who has very questionable self ship poly dynamics, it's.. nice not being scared of seeing "Don't interact if this- dont interact if that" and then in danger of harrassment.

Please keep spreading these vibes of comfort and love - you're a great person whom we need a lot more of in the world wide web

You're very welcome, lovely! :) :) :)

Hoo boy. I have...soooo many thoughts on like....ALL of this. And this post is gonna get LONG because I've opened the can of worms and I'm lettin' it all out :P

The amount of bullying and negativity I've seen in the selfshipping community lately is very painful and disappointing to watch. Tumblr and fandom has always been somewhat of a cesspool but I had hoped that selfshipping was a little better.

I'm not seeing a positive community on a large scale right now.

There are some people who are shining little stars out there of course! But there's more hate being spread around than I can stomach.

I've spent Y E A R S researching and unlearning and pushing back against the psychological and emotional effects of manipulative behaviors like: blame, guilt, shame, and harassment.

I absolutely 100000% believe you can speak to people civilly and state your reasons why you think their behavior is damaging. Without telling them, "You are wrong. You are a bad person." Or otherwise making them feel shitty about themselves.

And I also believe that you CAN allow that person to say, "I don't agree with what you're saying" and you can still have normal interactions with that person without immediately shunning them and labeling them as a terrible person.

People BLOSSOM when they are showered in love, acceptance, and understanding. People are MUCH more willing to listen and heed what you have to say when you give them SPACE to see your point of view (or disagree with you and still accept them).

This culture on social media where people jump STRAIGHT to, "You're a HORRIBLE person because you do something I disagree with!" is, frankly, horrifying and a little disgusting.

Does this mean I condone negative and damaging behaviors?

No. Absolutely not.

But there seems to be this loss of perspective on what is considered "negative and damaging behaviors".

1. It's fiction. Fiction has NEVER been "clean". It's a place of freedom to discuss EVERYTHING.

2. You don't have to feel comfortable with everything being discussed in fiction. I'm not. If I don't like a self-shipper's content because it hits some trigger buttons for me...I don't follow their blog. Because that's my boundary and I have every right to it.

Do I send them messages saying, "You're a toxic person!"

Nope.

Do I comment on their ship that they love and say, "This makes me uncomfortable!"

Nope.

It's not my business.

Also: it’s fiction and there are MUCH bigger problems that require my energy than whether or not I should correct someone’s fictional ship.

Go save the ocean.

Go save the rainforest.

Go save the planet you live and breath on.

Fiction should not be making you angry enough to send hate mail to someone else. Full stop. That should never ever be a priority.

3. Some people engage in selfshipping "negative behaviors" as a way to cope with their trauma. We have no idea what a person has been through and we have no right to tell them that they should stop what they're doing when we do not know where they are on their journey of healing.

It hurts my heart so, so much when I receive messages from selfshippers like you, dear anon, who are TERRIFIED to share their love stories with their characters because they're afraid of being labeled/attacked/harassed by the community.

That's the community letting you down. That should NOT be happening and I'm so sorry you're feeling that way, lovely.

The ENTIRE point of selfshipping was to ESCAPE the people who criticized for shipping yourself with a character that you love. The foundation of selfshipping is that ANYTHING is possible!!! You are limitless!!!

And now people are policing what you can do??? That's...that completely obliterates the point of selfshipping. That's WHY we escaped to our own community!

I don't know if this video is available outside of the U.S., but I highly recommend, the Crappy Childhood Fairy's Youtube video on Cancel Culture. It's a great listen when you're navigating the emotional turmoil of social media culture.

So, if you're still reading after ALL OF THAT :P here are some key points about this blog and my philosophy when it comes to selfshipping:

This blog will always be a judgment free zone

Of course I have opinions! Of course we may disagree on something! But I won't judge you for it. You're allowed to do your own thang! ;)

I will never have a DNI.

If I feel an interaction is crossing into territory that isn't appropriate or acceptable, I'll say so. And if that doesn't work, I'll block and report. But I will never have a DNI on this blog.

Yes, I am an adult. So if minors don't feel comfortable following my blog, it's okay if they don't! I understand!

But I don't have a problem talking with minors because they are human beings and they may need support. I worked in Youth Services at a library for over two years. I know sometimes kids just want someone to talk about cool books and movies with and I'm 100% down for that 24/7 :)

Because this blog is all-ages friendly, I will never post 18+ content because - just like IRL - I make sure that I am mindful of the people around me. I may post some suggestive content that is tagged, but I try not to get too explicit.

I also don’t really think a DNI is necessary for me personally. Of course if I feel threatened by someone, I won’t interact with that person. But if a shipper is into content that I don’t like???? I don’t feel the need to say, “I will never interact with you!” That’s....exhausting. Besides, there are plenty of other things we can chat about! :)

I will always share f/os.

I know some people don't like to share and that's their boundary they can draw if they want to (no shade here!), but I've found that if I don't share, it's a very lonely experience. So I always share and I’m happy to interact if we have the same f/o :)

DMs are always open if you need a shoulder to lean on

If you need to dump or vent or whatever, my DMs will always be open so you can chat! It can feel weird, and maybe you'll feel bad because you won't know what to say!!!

That's okay :)

Even if all you want to do is vent and never reply, I'm happy to listen and offer any words of encouragement and support you need to hear! :)

[criminalminds4days]

Family Matters | Chapter 7: Happy Birthday

Hello people!!

I know I just came back, but school and work are really kicking my butt. I have virtual events, classes, projects and papers... On top of that I have to go to work and I barely have enough time to sleep. I am hoping I'll be able to keep writing, and I already have some chapter written in advance but who knows how my life will be by the time we reach the end of those chapters...

Anyway, I hope you guys are having a good week and a good year so far. Enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think!

P.S. keep in mind I did not have time to proof read this, so it might be wonky.

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, violence and murder references, public embarrassment, and very bad jokes!

Word Count: 5.2k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tag list: @mcntsee @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @evelyncade @haylaansmi @paulaern @myfandomlife-blog

************************************************* 

(This gif is not mine)

Chapter 7: Happy Birthday

It was now time to get everything set up for Reid's surprise birthday party. She was still not talking to him, but something within her didn't allow her to abandon the idea of celebrating his day of birth. She wanted so bad to stop wanting to be his friend and talk to him, be around him and hear him laugh, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

"You're gonna let us know your decision soon?" She almost fell down the chair she was on.

"Can you not scare me to death, please?"

"Well stop keeping us in suspense."

"Emily," she stepped down from the chair and used it to sit. "I didn't accept the position, in fact, I told Luke that same day. To help him with his bosses being on his ass I said I would think about it, but I'm going to email them soon to say I won't be transferring. I don't know how Garcia found out but she didn't let me explain that I wasn't even leaving. Then all of you barged in and I just thought it would be funny to let you guys believe I was gonna leave."

"And you've had us in suspense for two days?! Do you know how devastated Reid is? He probably thinks that's why you won't speak to him!"

"That's not the reason I don't talk to him, I ignore him because he's a cheater!" Her mouth closed fast after saying those words.

"What do you mean? Did he cheat at poker or something?"

"No, just forget about it."

"Tell me!"

"No necesitas saber," She said in Spanish. Telling Emily she didn't need to know.

"¿Se te olvida a caso que también hablo español?"

"Yes, I totally forgot you spoke Spanish." She placed for a little bit, deciding whether to tell her or not. "I saw Reid and JJ a couple of weeks ago and they were in a very friendly situation, to say the least."

"Were they making out or something?" She shook her head, and Emily smiled. "Listen, I honestly don't think that they have something going on."

"You didn't see what I did."

"That's true, but I am also not emotionally involved."

"I'm not emotionally involved."

"Sure you aren't." She winked, "does Hotch know you're staying?"

"He was there when I turned down the offer originally."

"That little prick, he's mentioned nothing to me!"

"To you? Interesting." Before Emily could correct herself she had already made her way to the sitting area, setting all the dishes and cups. She looked it over one more time before deciding it was good. "I have to change, I will be back in a half-hour. Everybody should be arriving by then, do you mind just checking that everything is good while I'm gone?"

"Yeah, though it seems rather interesting that you're having a birthday party for a 'cheater' don't you think?"

"It's also weird that you expected Hotch to tell you specifically, rather than the team, things like my possible transfer."

"That's not what I meant."

"Oh, but it is."

"No, it's not!"

"Yes, it is, now bye!" With those last words, she exited the building.

She paced her room. She had about thirty minutes before Spencer arrived and she was about ten minutes away, so she still had some time to figure out what she was going to say or do once the party began. She knew someone would tell him it was she who organized the party, and that would only raise more questions about her current behavior towards him.

"I had already planned it, and I couldn't get a reimbursement for the salon." She said to the mirror. "No, that might be too mean. How about, Whatever else is going on, I am glad you're alive. No, that's too nice." She rubbed her eyes, frustrated with her responses, and then, the best idea she would come up with came to her and she couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Would it backfire? Most likely, but that didn't mean she wasn't gonna try her best for it to not. With one final look at the mirror, she grabbed her keys and made her way to the venue. When she arrived all the cars from her co-workers were parked, except for JJ's, who out of the goodness of her heart had offered to drive the birthday boy. She wouldn't be surprised if Will didn't attend the event, because that would give them some alone time. Absorbed by this thought she almost didn't notice that almost immediately after she exited her car, JJ, Spencer and Will pulled up in their car. When she noticed them she squealed and ducked, but it had been a little too loud, as all three of them turned to her and saw as she very awkwardly tried to hide by ducking next to her car. She sighed and stood up, waving at the trio.

"Dropped a contact." She weakly explained.

"You don't use contracts, nor glasses for that matter." Spencer reminded her.

"No, but my friend does, and she left them in my car, and when I got out, I ended up dropping one."

"Well, it might be time to go in," JJ said, trying to salvage the surprise.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Spencer asked her.

"I... I didn't know I was, it was sort of a last-minute thing."

"Oh, okay." He looked at her expectantly, as if hoping she would acknowledge the date and congratulate him. That was one of the few things that contrasted his serious demeanor, those small moments in which he would just act like a child and have that twinkle in his eyes.

"Anyway, why don't I go ahead and go inside and you guys catch up later."

"No, you can stay with us. I mean, you can be my date. Today doesn't feel like the day to be the third wheel." He gave her another expectant look, hoping she would ask what made today special, or simply acknowledge she knew what day it was. "Besides, we haven't really seen much of each other lately."

"Yeah, life's crazy. Let me take a rain check on that though. I'll see you all later!" She tried to walk inside but he took her arm, preventing her from leaving.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, she's just trying to prevent you from finding out about your surprise birthday party before we get a chance to say surprise." Spoke the one and only Derek Morgan. They turned to find all of their friends at the entrance with amused smiles on their faces.

"Surprise!" They exclaimed and his eyes lit up even more, if that was possible, at the sight.

"Can you let me go now, please?" He nodded and mumbled an apology as he let go of her arm, she moved next to Emily and avoided all eye contact with everybody.

"Way to go champ, you almost ruined it." The woman jokingly whispered in her ear.

"Happy birthday Spencer!" Everybody said.

"Thank you guys, this means so much to me. I can't believe you all took the time to plan this."

"Actually, it was all-"

"Emily! This was all Emily's idea." She exclaimed before JJ could finish the sentence.

"Well, thank you so much, Emily." He said to her. She couldn't help but notice a small hint of disappointment in his tone, but she decided to not read too much into it.

"Yeah, you're welcome." This one said, shooting a glance at her friend. "How about we go inside and get some food?" Everybody cheered and they all made their way to the table that she had set up earlier.

"So my idea, huh?" She mumbled.

"Shut up Emily, you don't need to read into everything."

"I'm not reading into stuff, it's all just out in the open."

"Whatever."

The dinner had gone great, everyone seemed to be having a great time, especially the birthday boy, though something kept bugging him and she wasn't sure what it was.

"So, have you made a decision about your transfer?" He directly asked her once the conversation had died down.

"Are you asking me?"

"Is anyone else considering a transfer?"

"Touche." She instinctively looked at Emily and Hotch, who casually were sitting next to each other, 'out in the open' she immediately thought. Emily gave her a pointed look while her boss simply nodded slightly. "I'm still thinking. Luke made some really interesting points about the position."

"For example, his deep voice." Emily teased.

"A raise in salary." She countered.

"How do you even know Agent Alvez? I heard of him, but I didn't even know what he looked like before this week." Garcia questioned.

"He was a mentor, per se, when I was finishing up my courses at the academy. I ended up going on my first mission as a graduate with him and his team, I was actually going to start with them when Hotch requested me for the BAU."

Everybody seemed a little impressed by this knowledge. It was true she never really shared her stories, and it was mostly because they were filled with embarrassment, but this was work-related, so it seemed okay.

There seemed to be more questions emerging but before they could be asked, footsteps were heard at the entrance, and soon enough, Anna, Tyler, her aunt Becky (Anna's mother), and her mom walked in.

"Who in the-"

"Happy birthday to my favorite son-in-law!" Her mother cheered and before he even had a chance to stand up he was already engulfed into a hug.

"Son-in-law? Reid, is there something we need to know?" Questioned Derek.

"What are you guys doing here?" She spoke, feeling her throat dry out.

"Well, your mom told us it was Spencer's birthday and that you organized a birthday dinner for him, so we thought we would stop by and congratulate him," Anna said.

"Wait, that's your mom?!" Garcia asked.

"Is there something you two need to share with the rest of us?" This time the question came from Hotch.

She turned to the uninvited guests and gave them the fakest smile to ever exist. "Family, can I have a word with you all, outside? Now."

"Aren't you gonna introduce us to your team?" Her cousin asked, a smile playing on her lips.

"Yes, of course." She turned to Emily, begging with her eyes for help.

"Aaron, do you mind coming with me to my car. I seemed to have left something there."

"Right now?"

"Yes right now. It's important." She basically dragged him out of the venue, and she took a deep breath.

"Well, Mother, Anna, Tyler, and Aunt Becky," she signaled to the uninvited attendees. "This is my team, Penelope Garcia, SSA Morgan, SSA Jareau, and her husband detective Will, SSA Rossi, and you already know Dr. Reid. Team, this is my family."

"Pardon me if I sound rude by pointing this out, but you seem familiar," Derek mentioned.

"Well duh, we're one of the wealthiest families out there. The Blackwood family is very well known, and we've had our fair share of magazine covers." Anna said with glee.

"Blackwood? Wait, that's your last name, but you go by-"

"ANYWAY!" She interrupted JJ, "let us congratulate the birthday boy and celebrate, let's worry about titles later!" She grabbed her mother away from Spencer and placed her and the rest of her family in additional chairs that were part of the venue.

"So, how old are you turning Spencer?" Tyler asked, with a hint of annoyance.

"Thirty." The mentioned responded. Both of them stared at each other and she couldn't decide if what was happening between them was pure hatred or sexual tension.

"I thought you didn't like older men that much."

"It is of wise people to change their mind." She responded.

"I honestly feel like I am missing so much information right now," Derek said out loud.

"Same." JJ and Penelope added.

"I think I have a somewhat good idea of what's happening," Rossi said.

"Well, as a gift from me and my daughter, here are the keys to the Noire museum downtown. I personally think it would be fantastic for your children to grow up going there every weekend or something."

"Mother!" She exclaimed.

"Thank you, but I can't accept that, it is too much." Spencer intervened.

"Nonsense. You are the only son-in-law I will ever have; let my daughter and I spoil you."

"Yes Reid, let your future mother and future wife spoil you," Rossi spoke, a hint of glee in his eyes.

"Have you proposed already?!"

"No!" They both exclaimed. She had no idea how much more of this she could take.

"Okay, let me get this straight, Reid and you have been dating, and you didn't tell any of us?! How long has this been going on?"

"Well-"

"One year, and about four months, right cousin?" Anna was asking to get murdered.

"Actually, it's one year five months, and six days since we met, but we've only been together for one year three months and 4 days. Unless I confused my numbers again." He gave her a look and she fought the urge to not smile. Sure, she had to pretend they were a couple, but she was still mad at him.

"Reid getting his numbers wrong?" Will whispered.

"Yeah, because of his dyslexia," Tyler said as if it was obvious.

"Of course, his dyslexia! How could we forget Will?" JJ added. She looked completely surprised and kept glancing back between Spencer and her, but her tone was controlled, making sure the non-profilers in the room would not see through her. She couldn't help but wonder if the blonde was at all upset by the situation, after all, if she was right JJ was Spencer's girlfriend. The reminder made her frown, but she soon erased it from her face: one problem at a time.

"Well, this was grand, getting to know each other but I am sure you guys have a long drive and-"

"Don't worry cousin, we made time for the party. After all, Spencer is practically family, and you two are just so perfect for each other."

After her words, the steps of Emily and Hotch made the room go silent. He gave her a knowing look and took his previous seat as well as her friend who gave her a wink. This was going to be a disaster.

"So cousin, you guys hadn't told anybody about your relationship? Why keep it a secret?"

"The FBI has very strict policies, and both agents needed to demonstrate that their work in the field would not be affected by their relationship, and it hasn't," Aaron said, giving her a faint nod.

"Wait, but what does that mean for your transfer?" Garcia asked. Her eyes opened in shock because nothing could ever go right.

"What transfer?" Her aunt Becky questioned.

"I got offered a position with the team I did my first case with. But that's really not gonna change my relationship with Spencer. It's not like I'm leaving the country if I accept it. If anything I would spend more time in D.C."

"Interesting."

"Listen, family, I really appreciated having you here and taking the time to come and congratulate Spencer, I'm sure he's so happy that you guys could be here, but it's getting late and since all of us have to be back in the office tomorrow morning we're probably gonna call it a night soon."

"Of course darling." Her mother winked at her and Spencer as if suggesting that was not the reason the two wanted people gone.

"Before we leave though, we would love to get a picture of the two of you. It's not every day you get to celebrate your partner's birthday number thirty." The annoying blonde she had for a cousin suggested.

"Maybe another time."

"No, I think that's a great idea." Morgan chipped.

"Sure, why not?" Spencer said casually.

Was this man crazy? Did he not understand that their boss was right there and this could cost them their careers?!

She sighed and approached the brunette she placed her arms around his torso as he enveloped her in a hug, they smiled for the camera and waited a few seconds for pictures to be taken.

"Now Kiss!" Anna said and followed by that Garcia and Morgan joined her in a chorus of "kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss." The rest of the team, except for Hotch joined in, and she made sure to remember to kill Emily at her next best opportunity.

She cursed internally and turned her face, meeting his eyes for the first time in days. Sure, they had made accidental eye contact from time to time in the last few days, but she had tried her hardest to make it rare, and now she felt somewhat vulnerable. He gave her a small nod and leaned in, his lips touching hers ever so softly. It had been over two months since they had last kissed, but she could remember the taste as if it was yesterday.

A couple of minutes and cheers later they broke apart, his hand immediately reaching for hers. She tried not to wince or remove it, but it seemed like an impossible challenge.

"So cute!" The woman said, disgust in her voice. "Anyway, happy birthday Spence, here are some books that we thought you might like." She placed them on the table and attempted to walk towards him and hug him, but both she and Spencer made it clear that was not an option. There was something about her spanking him during the retreat that didn't really sit well with either of them. "You two are just made for each other, aren't you?" She commented before walking back towards her husband.

"Happy birthday Spencer, I hope the next time we see each other it's to ask me about an engagement ring." Her mother squeezed his cheeks and planted a kiss on each one to later repeat the process on her daughter. Aunt Becky simply waved and Tyler gave the couple a head nod before the four left the building.

There was a silence, she let go of his hand rather abruptly and separated herself from him a couple of inches as the rest of the team observed them. "Should I go set up the karaoke machine?" She asked as she tried to navigate the room.

"You should tell us why none of us knew the two of you were a thing," Morgan said.

"Agreed." The rest of the team said.

"Really, Emily you too?"

"That kiss made me doubt."

"Let me just make sure they're gone." She walked towards the entrance, as her mother's vehicle drove away she sighed with relief and made her way back to the table. "All right, let us get this over with."

"Why didn't you tell us you two were dating?" Penelope asked.

"Because we're not." She responded.

"Really? Then what was all that?" Morgan arched an eyebrow, clearly not impressed by her response.

"I asked Dr. Reid to pretend to be my boyfriend for a family event because my cousin kept telling me she was better than me and I was gonna end up alone because I was horrible and-" everybody observed her, the message clear. "Okay, she didn't say that exactly but the intention was clear! Anyway, because he went with me now my family thinks we're a couple and we have to pretend we are."

"That can't be it, please tell me you're lying and you two are actually in love," Penelope begged.

"Sorry, but Dr. Reid and I are simply co-workers who got caught in a big lie because of my big mouth." She shrugged, "Hotch, I promise, you have nothing to worry about."

"I know." He said, but something in his tone suggested otherwise.

"But that kiss though. It seemed more real than it should." JJ pointed out.

She looked at her, wanting to say something to hint that she knew about her and Spencer and that she knew that comment was coming from a place of jealousy, but she decided against it. She simply rolled her eyes, as if disregarding said kiss and made her way to the karaoke machine.

After everyone had moved on from the conversation and had begun cheering at those who participated by singing one or two songs, she decided to take a little break and get some air.

“If I didn’t know any better I would say you hate me or something.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Then what is it, because ignoring me and barely answering me isn’t cutting it anymore. I thought we were friends.”

“JJ, there are just some things that I can’t condone.”

“Like what?”

“Cheating.”

“I didn’t cheat, I was the first one to the office, so I grabbed the first doughnut. I am sorry if you liked chocolate glazed ones.”

“I am not talking about that! Though I am a little upset about that too!”

“Then what did I do?”

“Are you sleeping with Spencer?”

After those words came out of her mouth and JJ processed them, the blonde couldn’t help but laugh her ass off. She observed as the woman continued to laugh without a sign of stopping soon. “Me, and Spencer?” she asked between laughs, “Have you seen this?” She pointed at the ring in her hand and began to draw images with her hands as if hoping to represent that she was married, and she and Spencer were nothing but friends, she even confessed to her second pregnancy, something only Spencer knew about. But the other woman didn’t really understand, she thought everything was signaling at her avoiding to answer. “You are a funny one! Now, let’s go back inside, I will buy you a whole box of glazed doughnuts on Monday.” She managed to say as she continued to laugh, “me and Spencer? Hilarious!”

After watching her enter the venue, she waited before following suit. The whole scene seemed bizarre at best. Her confrontation had backfired and now she was back to square one on that front. On the bright side, she would be getting her chocolate glazed doughnuts so not everything was lost.

After two more hours, the venue was completely empty. Though they didn't have to go into the office the next day as she had told her mother, they all were more than happy to sleep early when given the opportunity. She had stayed behind to clean up some of the areas, hoping to make it easier for the cleaning crew the next morning.

"Do you need help with that?"

She jumped at the voice. "Jesus! What is it with you people and trying to give me a heart attack?" She said to the brunette.

"Sorry, I just wanted to help."

"Shouldn't you be heading home?"

"That's the thing, JJ and Will got a call from the nanny and they had to go. I was in the restroom, so I didn't know and they, well they left me behind." He looked really embarrassed by the situation.

Don't do it, she told herself. Don't say the words that you're thinking, she urged. "I can give you a ride home." She said despite her best efforts.

"Thank you."

"Yeah, no problem."

She turned back to her duty and the silence that engulfed them was so awkward she almost backed out from giving him a ride home.

"What did I do?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm a profiler, you know? And I'd like to think I'm good at my job. I know you're mad at me, I just wish I knew why."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Please, I can't keep going on like this. I miss you, I miss spending time together, joking around, and just being us. I really miss it and I will do anything so we can go back to being friends."

"Dr. Reid, six months ago we weren't even friends." She pointed out.

"But four days ago we were."

"Are you sleeping with JJ?" She blurted out before she processed the words.

His face went from confusion to amusement and soon he was laughing his ass off. Great, now both of them had laughed at her.

"Me and JJ? You do know she's married, right?" He said between laughs.

"Not everyone that gets married is faithful."

"You're mad at me because you thought JJ was cheating on Will with me? Why would you even think that?"

"I saw you two at the office the other day."

"JJ asked me to be the godfather of her second child. She's pregnant. And no, it's not mine." His smile grew wider as the laughter stopped as if knowing she thought he was cheating was the best news he could receive.

"Oh." She mumbled, everything making sense. JJ’s reaction, the whole signing, and laughing. The idea seemed so foreign to both of them she couldn’t help but feel like an idiot for thinking it to be a possibility. She wanted to hide under a rock and never come out again. How could she possibly think that the two of them would do such a thing? Now that she had all the pieces the idea seemed so far-fetched she couldn't even understand what led her down that path. "I-I'm sorry, I interpreted everything wrong."

"I'm glad you did though." He said, placing his hand on her shoulder. "It gave me a really important insight."

"About what?"

"I need to tell you something." He said, and his other hand moved a strand of hair behind her ear. She couldn't help but think this was all too similar to a movie and how horrible that was, and yet how much she wished she was part of a movie in that precise moment. A part of her already knew where this was going and she felt all bubbly inside at the notion. "I like you."

"I like you too Spencer. You're my best friend." She spoke, completely shattering her internalized movie.

"No, I like you romantically. If it was up to me that kiss would have not been as short nor as innocent as it was."

"Why are you being a dumbass?" She said as she pushed his hands off her shoulders. "Quit playing, let's get you home."

He shook his head, slightly annoyed by how dense she was. "Will you please stop for a minute? I am trying to tell you about my feelings for you because I have been hiding them for days and every time I see you I want to kiss you and hold your hand. When I saw Luke and you, first I thought he was kind of hot, but then I saw him as a threat, and I was dying to punch him in the face. Because I want to be more than your best friend. I've probably wanted to be more than your friend for a really long time, but it took Emily barging into my hotel room and scaring Derek into the cafeteria for me to realize it and now I know that you must feel something for me, otherwise why on earth would you get so upset about the idea of JJ and I having an affair?  So, can you please put the pieces together and come here so we can make out in the middle of a salon on my birthday like I dreamt last night?"

"You're joking, right?" She said, her heartbeat speeding up, half of her body wanting to run and the other half wanting to do exactly what Spencer had suggested. Well, it was more of an eighty percent for staying and twenty percent for running.

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"You actually like me?"

"Yes! And I'm pretty sure you like me."

"I mean, sure, you're funny and a great friend. Not to mention cute, well I guess we have to be honest here, you're hot, like really hot, but just because I see that doesn't mean I like you, does it?"

"Do you want to kiss me right now?"

"Yes! Wait, no! I mean yes! I-"

"Let me help you out a little with that." Before she could ask how Spencer had already shortened the distance between them, placing his lips on her. This was the first time they had kissed without an audience, or as a part of their fake relationship. To prove how real this was, Spencer didn't hold back. First, his hands were on her cheeks, but they slowly moved to her hair, hips, and pretty much anywhere he could find. Hers never left his hair, appreciating how soft it actually was and the fact that despite his immense love of his hair and that he despised people touching it, not once had he complained.

She thought back on her conversations with Emily, on how Reid always made her feel safe. Sitting on a couch with her head resting on his shoulder had felt so right, and the idea of losing him to JJ had made her spiral. She knew that Will's feelings were not going to be the only ones hurt if it had been true. She wanted him.

She liked him.

It was so ridiculously obvious that she had to laugh. One would think metaphorically, but since she can't ever have a good moment without ruining it, her body decided to actually laugh, interrupting what had become a heated make-out session. As she tried to stop her laughter, he looked at her, confused.

"That bad?"

"What?" She said between laughter, "no! It's not that, it's just that I am so dumb. How did I not see that I like you so fucking much?" She continued, her laugh subsiding. "Spencer Reid, will you be my real boyfriend?"

"This has to be the best birthday present ever." He smiled, “but I don’t know if I am convinced by this offer."

"How about I second it by offering a make-out session in my car, and instead of driving you to your apartment, you can stay with me tonight?"

"Yes, please!"

“Is that a deal then?”

“How could I ever say no to you.”

After what seemed like a lifetime, but also a blink of an eye, they had made their way to her apartment. His shirt was wrinkled, and both their lips were read as can be. The small hickeys that he had graciously given her were now on full display as her neck was left exposed. She opened the door and he stepped inside after her, making sure to close and lock the entrance.

“Before we go any further, I need to ask.”

“No, Spencer, I am not a virgin.” She responded with a smile.

“That’s not what I was going to ask.” She observed him, encouraging him to continue. “Are you seriously thinking of leaving the BAU to go work with that jerk?”

“First off, he’s not a jerk. You don’t need to be jealous; Luke and I are just friends. And secondly, I turned down the offer as soon as he presented it to me. I was just giving you all a hard time.”

He frowned, clearly not as amused by that knowledge as she was. “There is something you should know.”

“What is it?” Her smile faded as his expression turned to a serious and concerned one.

“I sleep on the right side of the bed.”

“But you said-“

“I know what I said, I simply didn’t want you to feel bad, so I took the left side.”

“Spencer…” They almost fell as she crashed her lips to his. For others, this simple gesture might seem like nothing but knowing he would do something just to accommodate her was somehow so amazing and heartwarming. This knowledge summed by her newfound feelings were giving her the urge to pull him to her bedroom right then and there, but sadly for her, there were still certain things that needed to be addressed. “Before I undress you, and trust me I am dying to do that, I need to request something from you.”

“Anything.”

“Stop wearing tight pants to work.”

“Excuse me?”

“You have a very nice ass, I have noticed. And recently you have decided to use dress pants that don’t let me forget about this knowledge. We need to keep our relationship secret, at least for the time being, and watching you in those pants is not gonna help me, at all.”

“On one condition.”

“Yes?”

“You need to stop wearing blue.”

“But it’s my favorite color!”

“I know, and you look really good in it, like really good. It’s not good for me.” He planted a soft kiss on her neck, and that alone would have made her agreed to pretty much anything he asked.

“Okay, yes.”

“Good, now can we please get to business.”

“Never call us having sex business again.”

“Noted, as long as this isn’t the only time we have sex.”

“As if.”

[fritalianblr]

I posted 411 times in 2021

9 posts created (2%)

402 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 44.7 posts.

I added 209 tags in 2021

#italian - 130 posts

#italy - 18 posts

#vocabulary - 15 posts

#french - 14 posts

#frenchblr - 7 posts

#language learning - 6 posts

#italian song - 6 posts

#french langblr - 5 posts

#not languages - 4 posts

#langblr - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 116 characters

#i suggest the * or finding a gender neutral term or using the (inclusive writing) the feminist and queer people use

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Hi there !

Sorry for the lack of "original" content on this blog, I'm only reblogging from my favs langblrs right now haha.

Depression as kicked in and I've got many other things to do. Still, I go nearly everyday on tumblr so do not hesitate to send an ask about French language and/or culture, or request a vocabulary list on a special theme... There's no problem at all. I will answer ;)

Have a nice day people ♥

11 notes • Posted 2021-03-24 13:19:14 GMT

#4

do you know loic suberville? he's a youtuber who makes funny shorts about languages French seems to be his favourite target 😜

Hi ! Oh yes I've seen his videos on Twitter ! It's reaaaally funny !

Thanks for this ask, I never thought about sharing his videos here, as I see them on Twitter only XD

Here's my favourite one. It's about "oeuf/oeuf" (egg/eggs in french)

So yeah, go check his TikTok or YouTube channel, his videos are pretty funny. Maybe not as a complete beginner, but when you know French a bit, it's really so fun haha !

13 notes • Posted 2021-05-04 16:55:34 GMT

#3

Joyeux Poisson d'Avril à tous·tes !

Je suis très forte pour rire aux blagues, pas pour en faire, donc vous n'aurez pas de poisson d'Avril de ma part !

I'm really good at laughing to jokes, but not to make them, so you won't have any from me today !

a joke - une blague

April Fools - Poisson d'Avril (lit. April's fish)

En France, la tradition du 1er Avril, c'est de découper dans du papier des poissons, de les colorier, et de les coller ensuite dans le dos de ses camarades le plus discrètement possible. Les blagues sont aussi récurrentes, évidemment. Il faut toujours faire attention aux annonces faites un 1er avril.

32 notes • Posted 2021-04-01 12:02:54 GMT

#2

Hi! Do you think Duolingo is a good place to start learning Italian? I'm moving to Italy late September to study and i don't speak a word which terrifies me a little :') Thanks ! and i love your blog ❤️

(Okay so Tumblr doesn't put a notification to tell me there's an ask ? grmbl that's not helpful dear Tumblr....)

Hi there ! I hope I'm not answering this super late... And thank you I'm so glad you love it ❤️

I personally dislike Duolingo a lot. The problem is, the exercises use sentences that often don't make sense. It just stupidly put words that form a sentence together but that's not sentences you will actually use, most of the time.

Still, there are a lot of people who use Duolingo. I think it can be helpful to really *start* learning the language, but I'm not sure you will be able to learn it well and use it afterwards.

Okay so, actually, there are not a lot of apps and websites that will really help you learn a language. I'm starting to realise that the hard way... What I can suggest you :

Follow @sayitaliano and @langsandlit, go through their posts, you will find a lot of vocabulary and beginner friendly posts.

I would suggest these posts : one, two, three

Try to immerse yourself. Listen to italian music/podcasts, watch italian movies (with subtitles since you're a very beginner, of course !) etc...

Learn (almost) everyday. It doesn't have to be long sessions everyday. 30 minutes can be enough if you really spend those 30 minutes in italian learning. Make yourself a planner, try to stick to it, but of course don't blame yourself if some days you just cannot.

Try this : https://ncase.me/remember/ to learn and memorise efficiently everything. With flashcards and spaced repetition.

Maybe try this too, a method to learn by immersing yourself in the language (just like babies do to learn their mother tongue), but actually I've literally just found it so I don't know if it's worth it yet or not : https://refold.la/

Also, don't worry too much about not being able to talk italian. I've been to Roma before learning italian and mostly, people were really nice and would talk with us in english if we couldn't say it in italian.

And : talk with your body haha, it does work !

I hope this will help ! That saying, you can still try Duolingo or other apps like this, but if you really want to learn italian and being able to use it in Italy, I suggest to try the ressources I linked.

Good luck with your course, I hope you will like Italy !

53 notes • Posted 2021-08-11 10:34:05 GMT

#1

How to tell you... We've been WAITING for those.

"Le Visiteur du Futur" is a French webserie with 4 seasons (all on YouTube there's even english subtitles folks !), there are also novels and other things... The webserie ended in 2014. Now the film is in production. Expected for the "post-apocalyptic future of 2022".

"Kaamelott" is a TV serie which aired between 2005 and 2009. The 1st movie (it will be a trilogy) was supposed to be released last year but, COVID, you know. This summer, 21 July 2021, we will finally get it. It's been a whole decade since the last TV episode.

I'm DYING y'all this is so amazing !

(If you didn't watch Le Visiteur du Futur, do it. It's on YT, free)

100 notes • Posted 2021-03-27 15:18:20 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[gerrydelano]

feel COMPLETELY free to not answer this as you've got A Lot on right now and have already done a couple asks like this. but. since you've done a couple asks like this you're the only person I can think to ask lol, would you mind giving a run down on different causes of delusions? recently realized I had a delusional episode a few years ago and while I am looking into things on my own and looking into ~professional help~, it's a lot to get through and something consolidated would be nice xoxo

thank you for adding that i can feel free to not answer this, i appreciate the courtesy! but i actually want to explain why i’m not going to, because it goes beyond you and this ask, and beyond just not having the time or energy.

TL;DR - questions like this are asking a lot more of me than you realize, so i’m just going to establish a personal boundary as well as ask that people try to think a little more critically before casually requesting this sort of thing from strangers.

DISCLAIMER: i am fine and you are fine! i will still try to point you in the right direction, promise. i’m actually glad you just gave me an opportunity to say this, because it’s been on my mind for a while. sort of doing this as kind of a FAQ response that i can link in the future if it happens again, so i don’t have to restate all of this again! i’ve said it before, but i’d rather have it ALL in one place.

the fact that this ask threw my brain into “justify your inability to do this thing in a long essay” mode IS the precise problem (that you couldn’t possibly have known about; i am not pointing fingers or pulling out sudden expectations, promise.)

so, first, i want to say that i have NEVER felt like anyone has ever demanded this (literal service) of me. i am not at all accusing you of that, promise. i’m going to just take some time to explain why, even in the absence of that demand from others, i am the one who will put that obligation on myself, which means i need to take measures to keep myself out of that situation. this isn’t to insinuate that i’ve been treated badly, it’s not that! (on this blog yet, anyway. haha.) it’s just: “i am sick and i am trying to heal, by minding my own business.”

this ALSO doesn’t mean You Guys Can’t Ask Me Any Questions Anymore Ever. it just means please think critically about what you’re asking, and what you’re expecting to receive. whether i’ve indicated i Can or Want to talk about something, or whether i’m within my rights to even try and give you an answer. i’ve had people ask me about antiblackness as if i’m an authority, too, when i’m Definitely not! people ask me things because they think i’m Safer to ask sometimes, and it’s not actually okay. this is a little different, but still falls into the category of: please think of who you’re talking to before you hit send.

i’m largely writing this out for me, to practice establishing the logic in my own head because i personally need to like... write things out and repeat them to really get them to stick. and you wouldn’t know that about me because you don’t have to know it, but i need to make it clear when asks like this trigger a particular response in me that i am no longer going to allow to govern my hobbies.

this response is preventative, not reactionary!

so, i hope that makes sense! dividers for accessibility because this is still a big giant rant, oof.

okay, so, yes. i absolutely understand that it looks like i’m a good person to ask this of! i’m a little overly friendly in my responses, enthusiastic enough to Look like i have a lot of stamina for it, and yes, i’ve spoken up about things before! i’m open and i state all the time that i care and want to help, and i do. i put out a particular voice and image on this blog that feels welcoming, and i try to be that in general because i am tired of bitter dismissiveness and negativity.

but even that, as much truth as there is to it, is still kind of. an internet persona? we all have them.

and the things i talk about so enthusiastically are things that i not only personally experience, but get excited about getting the chance to talk about. it’s usually specifically in relation to writing and tackling underrepresentation, and normalizing things in fanfiction because i have a personal stake in that. writing that big dissociation post was, in part, just me infodumping about a special interest! it’s still ultimately about my own experience.

i’m not a trained psychologist, i’m not doing a Job. the responses i give to people for free are often equivalent to what would be a paid service from someone else, like. this is labour, it’s work. in my case, it’s volunteer work that i’m happy to do, but i do have to establish lines somewhere to protect my own health, as well.

i do have experience with delusions, yeah! but they’re not all that “severe” (at least in comparison to other things that kind of overtake my life More), and i don’t really. feel comfortable talking about my delusions in public to begin with. which, i would kind of have to in order to talk about this at all? because the way i personally communicate is by sharing anecdotes alongside research i do, to give context and kind of “evidence” that “this thing is definitely real, you’re not making it up or being dramatic.”

even by saying that right there^ is an example of me doing that. because i feel the need to over-explain myself, too, and make sure what i’m saying is understood. which comes from all sorts of other personal hangups that you would have no way of knowing about.

because you don’t know me from adam. you don’t know me at all, and i don’t know you. so i’m not mad that you don’t know! i’m not mad at all. but i need to remind probably a LOT of people that this kind of thing falls into the realm of parasocial relationships, and i’ve been wanting to assert boundaries about that for quite some time.

it’s funny to make jokes about being a beholding bitch because total strangers come up to me and spill their problems all the time, but the fact of the matter is: it is exhausting, and a lot of the time, kind of super inappropriate.

i’m not even a mental health blogger. this is my fandom blog, i’m here to have fun and relax and probably daydream about gerry keay.

i’ve experienced this before where people just sort of... start treating me like i’m a walking DSM because i look like i know what i’m talking about, but just because i know my own "ailments” (as my maybe-former-boss calls them lol) really well doesn’t mean i’m an expert or an authority on Everything. to assume i know All The Causes Of Delusions is a little bit presumptuous and also way too vague for me to even have a starting point? 

i talk about dissociation, autism, and a few times OCD. i don’t think i’ve ever indicated anywhere (at least not in an inviting way) that i know ANYTHING about delusions to begin with. mental health/illness is way too broad a topic to assume that someone knowing a lot about one thing means they know jack about anything else. it’s a HUGE topic, delusions alone are a MASSIVE topic i could not Begin to feel equipped to tackle, even as someone who has them.

so many things can cause delusions. psychosis, BPD (which is called borderline because “it exists on the borderline of psychosis and neurosis,” fun fact!), anything on the schizo-spectrum. a shitload of mental health disorders once you rule out drugs or environmental causes; of which there are many!

things like severe gaslighting and even just substances in your home? you can literally end up with delusions because of a mold infestation in your living space. if it has a hallucinogenic property, you can get fucked right up over that. if you use psychoactive drugs, those can cause temporary or longer term delusions depending. and just because they’re caused by an outside factor doesn’t mean they’re not happening, etc. all these things DO have to be considered depending on the person’s personal experience; i do not know yours.

i’d have to do actual research to find more than those ones i have at the top of my head. and that means, this is now a responsibility that i never really signed up for and no one really has the right to ask of me or anyone else who has not already consented to this type of, again, labour.

there are blogs out there that purposefully sign up to be this kind of resource to people like you who are just shopping around trying to understand something very broad. there’s a search function right here on tumblr if you want to find some blogs that lay it out a little bit more succinctly or are easier to navigate than all these super dense medical sites, or even just my personal ramblings that are admittedly and purposefully informal because i’m here for me, at the end of the day. 

i don’t have much else and i don’t want my one space to become a job, it’s happened before and it was not fun or okay. this is just me saying i don’t want to let that happen again, and nipping it in the bud before it can. i’m not letting MYSELF do that To Myself, you know?

and again, i know you personally added on that i could choose not to answer this, and i know i could have just let it be. but even getting these questions at all taps into my instinct towards obligation. i personally, Literally Can’t just let it be or ignore someone.

i know you may not know that, depending how long you’ve been here, but i have a longstanding problem with my inbox where i feel contractually obligated to answer Every Single Ask I Get with so much energy and effort and enthusiasm that it burns me out, and sometimes really fucks with MY mental health. 

which means, i have been trying to establish boundaries and taking breaks to keep myself on level; which i’ve been doing! and i’m still doing, by answering this the way i am. i’m not trying to say that you triggered me or put me in a bad position with this ask as much as i want to make something broadly clear for anyone who might cross this line in the future, because i know it’s accidental. 

and y’know. even saying that is me sugarcoating this a little? i’m not even obligated to be this way about it, i just don’t want anyone to get mad at me for establishing boundaries. and the fact that i’m worried about that at all kind of proves my point.

i don’t want to hurt myself for something i don’t even need to do. i need to practice setting personal boundaries and conserving my energy and taking care of myself without feeling like i’ve betrayed anonymous tumblr user #394 because i didn’t have the energy or experience to answer the heavy question they technically shouldn’t even be relying on me to answer.

i don’t think everyone realizes exactly how much they’re asking when they send these messages to people? an anonymous message on tumblr to a user you don’t know? even this ask was, unintentionally i’m sure, a little... flippant? the ~tildes~ and xoxo at the end make it read a little bit like... this was very easy and inconsequential for you to send to me, like you aren’t thinking too much about how much you’re asking for?

and if the response to me saying “this is a lot” is something akin to “no it isn’t, just google it!” then, like... why didn’t YOU google it. why is it my job to google it For You?

not assuming you’d respond that way ofc i’m just, generalizing because i know you as well as you know me! which is diddly squat. 

before this, you would have had no IDEA how much more complicated my brain makes this tiny little situation out to be, you have no idea that i have personal baggage surrounding obligation and duty, you have no idea my OCD makes me freak out about making sure i say Everything, you have no idea what i do and do not experience strongly enough to feel confident speaking on. you just don’t know! and so, like... why are you asking me?

it may have seemed very simple to ask this, especially because you added that i could ignore it if i wanted to, but the thing is: i couldn’t ignore it. please keep it in mind for the future, and with not even just ME; other bloggers who get a lot of asks feel this way, too, it can be really overwhelming even without the specific problem i have. examine your parasocial relationships, guys. online personas aren’t actually, like. your friends? and we’re sure not your therapist.

so, back to this specific thing. 

general rule of thumb: if i’d have to google it to research it in order to answer your question, you can typically go do that yourself. you already said you’re looking into things on your own and looking into ~professional help~ so, like. why should... i take on that responsibility to do it for you?

i know it’s a lot, but it’s also yours. i know that it’s better to do this stuff with help, but i am not in your support system, i’m not your friend or family, i don’t know who you are. and no, you don’t have to know someone personally to help them! i try to help people every chance i get. 

but you do sort of have to know someone a little better than you could possibly know me in order to ask them for this kind of help. either that, or pay them.

i’m not well researched on delusions. i am NOT educated enough to give you answers, and i don’t feel comfortable acting as though i could ever give as comprehensive a response to it as someone who has more focused experience on tending to their own delusions in particular. and i’d say go find someone else to ask, but that’s not fair to them, either?

don’t ask random people these questions, in general. look purposefully for RESOURCES, and the blogs set up deliberately TO tackle these issues and give you those resources already, by people who are actively asking To Be Asked. look in the #actuallypsychotic and #actuallydelusional tags, poke around and tag hop until you find bloggers that WANT to spend their time answering questions like this; they’re going to know what they’re talking about.

it’s far more appropriate, it helps everyone involved because they clearly LIKE it, and you Will get better answers from them in general. chances are, your questions have already been answered, and you can find that answer if you look in the right places! especially if you’re not in a rush.

this just really isn’t the place :-( i’m just a little guy. i’ve always appreciated that people trust me and seem to respect my input, but i’d appreciate a little more if we could also just keep in mind to respect people’s boundaries, privacy, and other potentially unspoken experiences, too. not just for me, but as a general praxis. please be mindful of parasocial tendencies overall! it’s easy to feel like you know someone because they’re sort of friendly when they talk in public, but there’s still a gulf there.

and good luck, honestly! i do really hope you find the answers you’re looking for.