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gretavangroupie · 23 days

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The Ripe and The Ruin (Chapter 3)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader, OC x Reader

Word Count: 19.8k

Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Smoking, Angst, Anxiety, Embarrassment, Lying, Sexual Themes, Kissing, Oral M! Receiving, Protected Sex.

Find the Playlist Here: Apple Music | Spotify

A new series in collaboration with my talented co-writer @gretavanmoon.

"Like all good fruit, the balance of life is in the ripe and ruin."

AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS

HER POV

The heat of your breath is fogging up the windows of the van as you drift in and out of a dazy snooze. The morning has already been long, with a wake-up time of 3:30AM to be on the van to the airport by 4:00AM. The flight to Amsterdam from Hamburg was short, only a little over an hour long, thank goodness. However, now all you can think about is getting checked into your hotel room and crashing back out for a couple of hours before you have to wake up again.

Paul, Wes, and Corri are occupying the seats toward the front of the van, and you’re thankful you can let your head rest on the window in peace. Your AirPods are stuck in your ears with the volume just loud enough that you could hear if one of them spoke to you, but still enough to fully enjoy the music floating through your ears. You don’t even dare listen to the playlist Jake made for you, it almost puts a sour taste in your mouth just looking at it, especially after what happened last night.

Of course Josh caught you. Of course it had to be him. But what is really still throwing you for a loop is why Josh felt he had to keep the encounter such a secret, locking his lips and doing away with the key.

Jake hadn’t said anything about your last addition of ‘High and Dry’, but you chalked it up to him just wanting to diffuse the situation after you left the bar, alone. You thought he might walk you back, given the situation you’d found yourself in just two nights prior, but he didn’t. He stayed, and let you go. And thankfully you’d made it back safely by yourself.

The more you think about it, the more you realize Jake had plenty of time to text a quick ‘Sorry about that’ or ‘We’ll talk tomorrow, goodnight…’ but he didn’t. Again. Just left you….high and dry. And what made it even worse was that as you were trying to fall asleep in your hotel room last night, you heard the faint sound of the song playing out in the hallway. Jake was coming back to his room, listening to the song you added for him as he meandered closer and closer. But instead of a knock on your door, all you heard was the latch of his closing.

You find yourself feeling a little pissed off, because the moment you shared in the dark bathroom really felt like something. It was…very fucking hot, if you’re being honest. He felt good. He felt strong, and sturdy, but also gentle and delicate when he needed to be. You can almost still feel how he felt between your legs, pressed up against you as you sat on the edge of the sink. His hands on your back, mouth on your neck, fingertips digging into your thighs….

“Y/N! Let’s get out of here!” You hear Corri’s brash voice wake you from your rated-R daydream, and you have to blink a few times to get the image of Jake all over you out of your head. You stretch a little and pull the music from your ears as the cab light comes on, and the four of you exit the van. You check into your far too luxurious hotel room, and crash onto the bed without even bothering to change your clothes.

—

Your alarm startles you two hours later, and surprisingly the cat nap has you feeling extremely refreshed. You jump from the bed and pull the curtains on the window, showing you the scene of a cloudy Amsterdam from your fourth-story room. You can feel the cold air moving through the window, and you know it’s going to be another bitterly chilly day.

After a quick rinse-shower, you sit back on the bed to check your phone and emails and see you have a text from an unknown number from just ten minutes ago.

Unknown

9:02AM: Hey! We’re going to go see the city and walk around a little, you want to go?

You deduce that it is probably Mia or Lyla, and you contemplate on whether or not you want to even move from your bed today. But after a little thought, and another glance to the sun barely peeking through the clouds, you decide, why the hell not. You don’t want to see Jake, really, but the regret you’d feel for not seeing Amsterdam while you’re here would probably be worse. You send up a quick prayer that Josh will keep your secret today, and not make things any more awkward than they already are.

You

9:04AM: Hey, sure! I’d love to 😊

Unknown

9:05AM: Cool! We’re leaving in an hour, we’ll meet up in the lobby. Dress warm!

9:05AM: This is Lyla, btw

You

9:06AM: Sounds great, see you in a bit

You lock your phone and stand up to finish getting dressed, adding on a few more layers to your already warm attire. Your stomach churns with nerves, but you’re excited to see the city and maybe get to know the girls a little better. Plus, Ruth is begging you for photos.

Speaking of Ruth…

You grab your phone and pull it from the charging cord, bringing up her contact for a FaceTime call. It rings out, and you press your eyeball directly to the front camera lens.

“Shit, what the hell, cyclops!” She yells as you pull away snickering.

“Why is it so dark in your room?” you ask, realizing you hadn’t even thought about the time difference.

“Because it’s two o’clock in the fuckin’ morning here, dimwit! I answered because you scared me. Are you okay?” she spouts off with her voice cracking from sleep.

“Shit, I’m sorry. Yes, I’m fine,” you laugh a little as she rubs her eyes in the light of her phone screen. “I’m in Amsterdam, thought I’d give you a rundown but, you need to go back to sleep,” you say.

“Ugh, if I didn’t have to wake up in three hours for work I would disagree with you. Yeah, just text me. Actually no, that will take too long. Send voice memos. Or a video or something.”

You take a quick breath. “I have a lot to tell you, Ruthie.”

“Fuck, seriously? Damn it, just…send something I don’t care. I gotta know. Is it bad news? It’s good news, right?” she goes on.

You roll your eyes a bit as you place your fingers over your mouth. “It’s…a lot. Good and, well not the best. Go back to sleep. I love you.”

“Kay nighty night.” Her last words were said with her eyes closed, and you know for a fact she’s already drifted back off into her slumber.

You plop onto your bed and scroll social media for a few minutes as you try to kill time, feeling your stomach start to growl and grumble against the mattress below you.

Maybe you should you add a song?

No… You’d be seeing Jake in the next little bit, and you were the last one to make contact. This is up to him, if he even wants to. You stand and grab up your long, heavy coat, making sure you have everything you need for the day before taking off to the lobby to grab a quick breakfast and wait on everyone else.

—

JAKE POV

The music swirling through the steamy air comes to a close as you spin the handle on the shower faucet, the water slowly trickling to a stop. The song she sent last night has been stuck in your head since you hung up with Isla, and you have let it be the soundtrack to your life in the hours since. You spent nearly the entire shower thinking about Y/N, listening along to the track and letting it seep into your bones. You thought about her, and only her for the past few days now. How you left her last night, and how you have yet to speak to her since. Even the plane ride this morning was spent in silence. You knew you needed to answer her song, say something to explain yourself. You were going to, you just had to figure it out, and now that you had time to sit down and think about it, uninterrupted, you would.

Get out, dry off, get dressed and answer her. You had a plan, and you were sticking to it.

You step out of the large walk in shower, wrapping the fluffy white towel around your waist. You take a second to look at your surroundings, remembering how only a few years ago you were all bringing towels from home, feeling lucky enough to shower in a rundown Motel 6 bathroom in the middle of nowhere. Your life had changed drastically in a matter of years, and it wasn’t long into that success when you first met Isla.

She was a vision of auburn hair as she swept through the bar that night, so light and so carefree. You could see why Lyla and Sam had befriended her, her personality very much the same as theirs. It wasn’t long after that night that the two of you started seeing each other, things quickly becoming serious. A year later she moved into your house. It was like she was always there, making the space her own and sharing her days with you. She was with you as the band really started to make moves, never once complaining about the late nights or the long stretches of tour, that is, until she did.

Things started to change last summer. The once light and vibrant girl you fell in love with had become catty and accusatory, her light burning out and her desire to be something other than your girlfriend dwindling away to nothing. It became her, consumed her, and suddenly you became an accessory instead of a partner. Nothing seemed to satisfy her anymore, and the time you could give her was never enough. She reminded you of that, often, as if there was anything you could do to change it. You fought like cats and dogs on any given day, each argument always ending in a band-aid resolution that never got you anywhere.

There were the big ones, the ones that would have you on the couch at Josh’s or in the guest room at Sam’s. The ones they didn’t ask about because they knew better, instead opening their homes and lending their liquor cabinet. The ones that you didn’t dare mention, even months after the fact, for fear of starting it all over again. Those fights started to get closer and closer together, until you found yourself almost needing to chip in for your brothers’ mortgage payments.

You knew it was done. You knew it was over, but the problem wasn’t that you couldn’t do it. No, the problem was that every time you would try, it wouldn’t stick. Listening to her tell you that your reasons were never good enough, or that it would be too hard to end things before you left. It was always before you left, and this time was no different.

Your phone buzzing on the bathroom counter snaps you back to reality, watching as it slowly inches its way closer and closer to the edge. You snatch it up as your hair drips down your back, sliding your finger across the glass as you scoff at the name on the Caller ID.

“Hello, Josh.”

“Oh, so they didn’t invite you either? Assholes…” he grumbles under his breath.

“Invite me where? Who?” you ask, making your way back into the room.

“Sam and Daniel, and the girls I guess…” he pauses, “Just checked their location to see if they wanted to get brunch and they fucked off into town without us. Not even an invite.”

“Really?” you ask, pulling your phone away from your ear to check your texts. “Shit, yeah, I didn’t get a text from them either. Though, I did tell them I was gonna catch a few more hours of sleep when we got here. Can’t you just go with Ty?” You groan, knowing you really planned to stay in your room all day and binge watch Criminal Minds.

“No. He went for a massage a little while ago, so now you have to go with me,” he says matter of factly.

“Do I? I don’t think I do, actually.”

“No, you do, it’s in the rule book,” he answers, an air of playfulness in his voice.

“The rule book…Don’t think I got one of those,” you joke, pulling on a pair of boxers.

“Yeah, they give it to the head twin, you know, the first one out,” he laughs. “I’m in charge, the book says so, and I say brunch with a Mimosa. If you’re good I’ll even get you a Bloody Mary, my treat. Meet me downstairs in like fifteen,” he says, ending the call before you even have a chance to decline. Fucker, he knew you too well.

You quickly dress yourself, checking your phone no less than five times just to see if maybe she had said something, but still there is silence. Your plan has officially gone to shit, no surprise there. You promised yourself you’d do it when you got back. No excuses. You huff out a sigh as you spray your cologne, grabbing your wallet and your phone and shoving them into your coat pocket. You make your way downstairs to meet Josh, finding him lounging in a wingback chair nearly double his size.

“Let’s go before I change my mind,” you offer, watching him spring out of the chair, his white Nike’s scuffing loudly against the marble tiles.

“Did you text Dean?” you ask, pushing open the glass doors.

“Yeah, the place I want to go is just a block away, said to call him if we need him but keep our wits about us. Told him I would, but can’t speak for you since you don’t have any.”

You stop walking and start to turn around, definitely not in the headspace for his antics today. He stops too, and you feel him grab your arm and sling you back in the right direction.

“Alright, alright, sheesh, no games today, got it,” he says, feigning guilt.

You walk in silence the rest of the way, ducking into a little cafe with a heated patio. You felt like you hadn’t seen the sun in days and both of you quickly agree that the patio might be your only chance.

Your eyes scan the menu, looking for any words that seem familiar to you. You’re about half way through it when Josh pulls your menu down and looks you in the eye. You know what he wants, and you know you have to tell him, but you need a drink first, at the very minimum.

Saved by the bell your waiter comes to your table, taking your drink orders and rushing off before you could blink.

As expected the grilling starts, and much to your dismay you are alone on the patio with no chance of anyone hearing the two of you bicker.

“Alright Jake, I let you sleep on it. Time to talk,” he starts, crossing his arms over his chest.

You rub your hand over your face, truly not knowing where to begin. You let out a sigh, and he seems to pick up on your inner turmoil.

“Start wherever, but I would probably choose the beginning.”

You move your fingers to your lips, looking at him with challenging eyes “What is it exactly that you want to know, Josh? I mean–”

“Cut the shit, Jake. What is going on? I want everything, top to bottom, now,” he snaps, aggression present in his tone.

“You’re mad for no fuckin’ reason, Josh!”

“No, I’m mad for great reason, Jake! You’re out here fucking around with our runner, two days into the tour mind you, while your girlfriend is back in Nashville living in your home!” he seethes, his fists clenched tightly on top of the white tablecloth.

Your blood is boiling as he finishes his tirade. “Knock it the fuck off, you know damn good and well she is not my girlfriend anymore!”

“Do I? Do I, Jake? Last I heard, you were ‘easing off for a little bit’...” he replies, gesturing air quotes.

“Do you honestly think that I would have been living in your house for the last month if we were ‘just ‘easing off’? You retort, gesturing the same air quotes.

Josh sits back in his chair a little, his aggression backing off just a little bit, enough for you to keep talking. “Explain.”

You blow out a breath of frustration, “She doesn’t get it, Josh. I can’t seem to get it through her head.”

“What?”

You bite your lips together before you answer, “I have tried to end things no less than five times in the last few months. There’s always some reason… Always something that…Fuck, I don’t know. It just never sticks. She won’t hear it,” you pause, “I was serious this time though, Josh. I told her point blank, I do not want to be together anymore. It was like I was speaking fucking Latin, she refused to hear me. We were up the entire night arguing, man. It’s… It’s just so done, and I’m the only one who can see it apparently.”

“So if she won’t accept it, you’re still technically together, though? She’s still in the house?” he asks, rubbing his fingers over his beard.

“Yeah, I mean, I guess? But also, No? The only way I could get the fuck out of that house in time to make it on the plane, was by agreeing to a ‘break’. But it’s not a break. I’m done, she knows I’m done. Told her she could still live in the house for a bit until she found her own place, but I told her, point blank, we needed to separate. No contact. You can see how that is going for her.”

“Does she know that you are…you know, seeing other people?” he asks, a bit of hesitancy in his voice.

“Am I supposed to care? We aren’t together!” you argue.

“But you kind of are Jacob!” he spits, “Look, I’m not trying to like, take her side here or whatever, but if she is under the impression you two are only on a break, I highly doubt she would be okay with you seeing other people. You’ll be labeled a cheater and god knows what else if she catches wind.”

“This is the messiest shit I have ever been a part of. I swear to god…” you groan, rubbing your hand over your face. “I seriously never thought I would find myself going through something like this.”

His brows pinch together in confusion, “So why didn’t you just say straight up, I want to separate, please move out of my home?”

“I mean, I kind of did, I think. It’s so much more complicated when you’ve been together as long as we have. We’ve had the exact same argument hundreds of times, that’s no exaggeration. She lives with me, man… I can’t just expect her to move out overnight, ya know? Which is why I agreed to the break. To give her time to…Get her shit together, I guess. But she knows I’m out. She has to know.”

“But she is still calling and texting you daily?” he asks.

“All fucking day everyday. I never reply, and she still continues. As if– as if nothing ever happened. Like I said, she is just not getting it,” you explain. “Every time I would come stay at your place, she would just… come up with some reason, or some excuse to get me to come home for a few nights. We would just bandaid the problem, until it just exploded again and I’d end up back at your house or at Sam’s. But I had to be careful at Sam’s because Lyla is her best fuckin’ friend. You’d think she would have caught the drift after so many nights of me crashing there that things weren’t good. I don’t know, I hate this shit, I have suffered long enough. I want out. And I fear that when we get home, I might have to take more drastic measures. And I don’t want that shit, either.”

“So things are a lot worse than you initially led on…” he states, shaking his head as he sips from his glass.

“Yeah, I guess so. Shit’s embarrassing, man. It’s rocky as hell and I don’t know what to do. I obviously still care for her as a person, but I just can’t do this with her anymore. I thought this time and space away from each other would help me get my head right and find a way to sort this shit out, but it seems like it’s only gotten worse and even more complicated since even a month ago, before we ever even left,” you continue.

“And now there’s Y/N…” he grimaces, truly starting to understand your predicament. “I mean, it’s really only been, what, two days?”

You let out a sigh and shake your head, “Yeah, yeah. But I can honestly say that I have felt more in the last two days for Y/N than I have felt for Isla in the last year.”

“Do you think maybe… She’s…just a distraction from your real feelings? Like a space filler type of thing while you figure out shit with Isla?” he asks, broaching the subject very gently. “To be fair, I don’t blame you at all, she’s really gorgeous and a lovely girl from the little I’ve talked to her.”

“I know it looks that way, trust me. I do. But, no… It’s something else. I know it's only been two days, but there is something there, and I have to explore it,” you admit. “Like I said, I feel things I haven’t felt in so long. Not just physical things, either. And yeah, I know she works for us, and shit, but I– It was about two minutes into that plane ride that I knew it didn’t matter. I had to get to know her.”

“Answer me this, do you still love Isla?” he asks, leaning his elbows onto the table as he gives you that horribly painful twin stare that you both can only give to one another. The kind that pulls the truth from you no matter how badly you might not want to admit it.

“I mean, I love her as a person, but no, I haven’t been in love with her in some time,” you confess.

“In your mind is there any chance of reconciliation?”

Your mind flashes through a hundred scenes of screaming fights, thrown objects, tears and accusations, “No. Not anymore,” you pause, rubbing your lips. “A week ago if you asked me that, I might have said maybe. It would be so easy to fall back into the good routine we had, everything would be good again for a little while at least, but it would change and we would be back to where we are now. Endless fuckin’ cycle. I can’t do that my whole life, Josh. I don’t deserve that. I was so excited about this leg of tour, just because she wasn’t coming. I could be alone and not go to bed mad and arguing every night. Do you know how fucked that is? That is not how I should feel about the person I am supposedly in love with. I should want her here, and I just don’t.”

He nods his head in agreement, sucking his teeth with a hiss.

“Two days with Y/N has proven to me just how unhappy I am in that relationship with Isla. How much I’m just…not in love with her anymore. It only confirms my decision,” you admit.

“So she’s calling and stuff to try and keep you strung along… So that you’ll come home and pick right back up on this nasty cycle the two of you are in…” he questions.

“Basically. Which is why I refuse to engage with it. She can text all she wants, I’m not answering her,” you snap. “Things aren’t black and white for her, they are very gray and for me they are stark white. I don’t know how to make it more clear.”

He drops his head and looks up at you as he leans on his elbows again, “Look, I’m sorry. I had no idea. I won’t say anything to anyone about last night, or whatever is going on with you and Y/N. I want you to be happy, and I can tell you haven’t been in a long time. I’m just really sorry I was such an ass. I wish you would have talked to me, you know, like we used to.”

“I know, I know. It’s my own pride that stopped me. I just, I feel like I'm on the precipice of being happy again, I just have to keep following it, even if it looks really bad from the outside,” you pause, “Also, you guys have to stop picking on her, she is innocent in all of this. She already thinks you guys don’t like her.”

“Oh, that's just not true, we all like her a lot, you have to tell her we don’t mean it,” he laughs, tilting his head to the side as he tosses back the rest of his mimosa. “Wait, does she know about Isla?”

“No, absolutely not,” you answer a little too quickly.

“Are you… planning on telling her?”

“Honestly, I haven’t really thought that far ahead, I mean, I know I need to. I wasn’t really planning on Isla blowing my phone up day and night. Guess I should have known better, huh?” you laugh, offering him a small smile.

“You need to tell her, Jake. Don’t fuck it up before you even get things started,” he offers.

“Don’t you know that’s my specialty?” you ask, sipping your spicy bloody mary. “I mean, last night is a whole other problem. When you saw us out there I had every intention of leaving that bar with her and taking her back to the hotel. It was all I could think about. But then you were out there with my phone and the shit with Isla. Fuck…I panicked. I just sent her back to the hotel. Left her out to dry like a fucking prick. Haven’t spoken to her since. She probably wants nothing to do with me at this point.”

“No, no I doubt that. She’s probably a little hurt, maybe a little confused, but I think she will come around. I saw the way she was looking at you last night,” he smiles. “But Jake, seriously. You have to tell her about Isla.”

“God, I know it just, why would I even be thinking about Isla when I’m with her? I swear it’s like none of it exists when we are with each other. Everything is easy.”

“Sounds like you found yourself someone special,” he smiles.

“I think you’re right.”

—

HER POV

The morning had been spent walking up and down the streets of Amsterdam, getting lost and finding your way again over and over as you navigated the map app on Danny’s phone. To your surprise, Jake and Josh hadn’t joined you. Just you, Sam, Danny, Lyla and Mia. It felt a little strange at first, and you felt the fifth-wheel anxiety hit you hard as you trailed behind them, the two couples happy and holding hands as you all explored. But luckily, at the last second, Dean joined you on the excursion, insisting that five of you needed an escort.

You’d taken the time to speak to Dean and get to know him a little; he’s a big burly man with cheeks that stay red and a beard and mustache that hide his mouth. He’s middle aged, and a man of few words, but you were determined to break through his exterior just a little bit, seeing as how he is one of your coworkers.

Now, as you all are heading back to the hotel with your arms full of various shopping bags and leftover food cart goodies, the conversation you’d worked so hard to start up with Dean is flowing freely. The two of you converse about the job, about travel, about where each of you are from and how you got hooked up with these crazy four. He’s fairly easy to talk to, and you find yourself very calm in his presence.

“I heard about what went down at the restaurant the other night, Ms. Y/N. I’m so sorry that happened to you,” he admits as you watch Lyla and Mia pull the guys into a tiny boutique.

“Oh, no need to apologize,” you respond, a little surprised, “It was no big deal, really. I made a stupid mistake by going out alone that late, I learned my lesson. Just glad Jake was able to come help me out.”

“Still, it’s one of my responsibilities to make sure everyone is safe. Mr. Jacob made it very clear that you’re on that list, too.” He pulls his phone from his pocket and pushes a few buttons before speaking again. “I’m gonna get your number right now, so you never find yourself in a situation like that again.” You nod as you agree, knowing that you should have had his number saved a long time ago. You switch phones with him as you each enter your respective numbers, and he smiles as he locks his, pushing it back into the pocket of his coat. It hits you that Jake must have had a conversation with him.

“We’ve got more security coming, I’m sure you’ve heard. They should be here within the next few days. This is usually a one man job, but… I guess as the band gets more and more popular, these kinds of things just need to naturally grow along with them,” he explains, keeping his head on a swivel as he eyes each of them inside the store. “Turns into a team effort.”

You nod, pushing your windblown hair behind your ear before shoving your freezing hand back in your pocket. “I did hear about that. Bet it brings everyone peace of mind having more hands on deck, especially you,” you offer.

“Mmhm,” he replies, “Most definitely. I’ve met these guys before, think everybody will like them. Real straightforward outfit. I’m their head of security, but with the way this group operates, they’re probably gonna be calling most of the shots, if not all of them.” He sucks his teeth, and you can’t tell if he’s irked or maybe, a little bit relieved to have the help.

“You gonna be alright with that?” you press, hoping you’re not stepping on his toes.

He shrugs one shoulder, and you can see his eyes darting around behind his sunglasses. “I’m only one guy, Ms. Y/N.” His response is blunt, so you decide to leave it at that.

You take a second to browse the boutique, meeting up again with Lyla and Mia and gushing over sweaters and dresses that none of you could ever afford, and for the first time in two days, you’d gone more than half an hour without thinking about Jake. As soon as the memory of him and what happened last night flows back into your brain, you almost double over with a strange anxiety. You pull out your phone again, checking to see if he has texted at all, or added anything to the playlist, but you’re met with nothing. Nothing.

“Let’s go get a drink or something!” Mia finally suggests to the group as you congregate in front of the store on the sidewalk, and everyone agrees. “Danny baby, pull up somewhere to go.”

“Let’s just take off walking again, we passed like fifty pubs on the way here,” he argues, bursting through the group and walking down the sidewalk again. The tension feels like it has dissipated for the most part; you have to admit that at first you were still a little worried that things might be a little strange between all of you. But as soon as you all got a couple of drinks in you, the anxiety melts away, and you find yourself laughing along and fitting right in with them. The girls are really cool, and Danny and Sam together keep the conversation going with ease.

An hour or so later, you’re unlocking your hotel door and stripping the layers of clothing off as you now have gotten a little sweaty from the heat mixed with the alcohol. The sun had popped out a little, only adding to your need for a giant bottle of water, and to relax across your bed. As you scroll social media and flick through TV channels in languages you can’t understand, you find your mind drifting back to Jake again. At this point, you know he isn’t going to text. He isn’t going to call, he isn’t going to add another song. If he was going to, he would have by now. You swallow down the realization, flipping to your back to push a pillow over your face. You think about calling Ruth, but at the same time, you hardly even feel like talking about it.

Just as you're about to scream into the void, you hear a knock at your door. Who in the world? You stand up and adjust your clothing and hair, expecting Corri or Paul to be delivering you some information in person. You unlatch the deadbolt and swing the door open, finding none other than Jake leaning with one hand on your door frame, and the other gripping a single deep burgundy flower.

“Hey…” he mumbles, biting his lip.

“Hey, sorry, I wasn’t expecting you…” you fumble over your words, not only because you hadn’t spoken all day, but because he looked so overwhelmingly delicious standing there effortlessly dripping sex in your doorway that you almost catch yourself drooling. Loose, dark slacks, a black button up revealing his chest, his hair freshly washed and still damp around the roots… His skin is still glowing from the heat of his shower, and you can smell his body wash mixed in with that damn cologne he apparently carries with him everywhere. Your eyes flick to the flower hanging loosely from his fingertips before meeting his eyes again.

“I know, I should have called first, ‘m sorry…” he stumbles, pulling his hand from his pocket and swiping it across his nose.

“No no, it’s fine, um… did you need… you wanna come inside?” you weren’t quite sure what to offer at this point; he wouldn’t have shown up if he didn’t want to talk.

He stands up straight now, smoothing his hands over his shirt and then placing them both in his pockets. “No, actually, I came by to see if you would want to go on a walk with me,” he asks, a shyness in his tone that feels new to you. “And to bring you this.”

He extends his hand, offering you the dark red flower, multi petaled and fragrant. “Saw it earlier at a flower stand and I…I don’t know, I thought of you. Thought you should have it.”

You accept it from his fingers, bringing it to your nose to take in its earthy smell, “It’s beautiful, what is it?”

“It’s a Dahlia, I believe. The vendor said it was a Black Dahlia, but it looks dark red to me. I don’t know, I just thought it was pretty. Thought of you.” he smiles nervously. You stare at him as you twist the flower under your nose and think about his question.

“So, a walk?” you reiterate, finding the idea both exhausting and appealing, seeing as how you had just gotten back from an extremely lengthy one with everyone else. “I really should stay in tonight, I… dunno…”

“Please?” he asks, squinting his eyes. “Just a short one, we don’t have to go far. I just– I saw something cool today, and I thought you might like to see it, too. Wanna show you…”

You huff a little as you lean your head on the edge of the open door. His eyes are pleading, and you can tell there’s more to his little plan than simply showing you something.

Maybe he wants to talk. Maybe he wants to explain things… sort it all out…

“Okay. We can go. But, I have to get dressed first,” you say, already dreading putting all those layers back on, but not feeling so bad about it because now you’ll be with him. You feel a little reluctant, the pissed-off feeling you’d had all day still lying heavily present in your mind. But, he’s making an effort, at least…

“Take your time. I’m just a floor up, 507,” he starts to back away, the tiniest satisfied grin forming on his face. His eyes travel up and down your body so fast you almost miss it. “Just come knock when you’re ready.”

You close the door as he rounds the corner to the elevator, and you can’t help but feel that rush of nerves fly up your body again. He didn’t call, he didn’t text, he came to your door. With a flower. God, what a gentleman. You place the flower on the dresser, your heart pounding at the sweet gesture. You rush into the bathroom to freshen everything up and spruce your tangled hair, brushing some powder across your face and adding a little more mascara. You re-apply your favorite perfume to your wrists and neck, taking a little extra time to make sure you looked presentable in the full-length mirror on the wall.

When you feel as if your appearance is as good as it's gonna get, you sit on your bed, wanting to make Jake wait for you just a little bit longer. You go ahead and pull up a facetime call with Ruth, waiting for the tone to ring out.

The screen opens with Ruth holding up one finger, mouthing for you to hang on as she finishes out what looks to be a very annoying phone call with a client. She spins in her chair as she rolls her eyes, letting her head look at the ceiling as she uses her formal, professional voice to end the call.

“...You have an excellent day, ma’am. Mhm. Thank you, Buh-bye,” she presses a button on her phone and rips her headset off, fumbling for her airpods as she picks up her phone. “Oh my GOD today has been insane and I hate everything,” she complains as you watch the screen fill up with her face, and you hear the sound of her acrylic nails tapping all over her screen. You patiently wait, watching her loudly chew her gum, knowing that she has to clear away her notifications before she can even begin to have an uninterrupted conversation with you. “Okay I’m ready what the fuck has happened?!”

You laugh, giving her the rundown of everything that happened since you last spoke, her facial expressions letting you know she is hanging on your every word. “...And now, he just showed up at my fucking door, and asked me on a date, I guess? After basically dry humping me in the bathroom then sending me home without another word,” you finish, whispering your words as if he could hear you. “I dunno, Ruth. Should I even go?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Yes you should go. Give him a chance to explain, at least. He wouldn’t have shown up to your door if he didn’t really want you to come, ya know?” she says, immediately noticing her word choice, and slyly smiling as she bounced her eyebrows.

“Shut the fuck up. Ugh, yeah, you’re right. Does this outfit look okay?” you stand back and flip the camera around showing her yourself in the mirror.

“Slayyyyyyyy that jacket is hot, where on earth did you even get it?!” she rolls her eyes.

“From you. For my birthday. When you found out I was going to a colder climate,” you laugh. “Okay, I'm gonna go, I guess. I’ll text you later.”

“Live updates, please. I want to know the way this man ticks,” she teases.

“Shut up. Bye.” You end the call and grab your purse, making sure your room key is in your bag. You also make sure to grab the jacket Jake sent you home in last night, not able to bear another second staring at it draped across the back of the chair.

—

“Thought you might want this back,” you say when Jake opens the door, taking the coat from your outstretched hand.

He smirks as he takes it, tossing it behind him to land on some unknown surface. “Looks better on you, but it’s one of only three jackets I brought with me.” You both laugh a little as you make your way down the hall and to the elevator. The whole ride down is silent, with both of you standing at opposite sides, more or less feeling no shame in drinking the other in. His arms and ankles are crossed as the elevator descends, and you can feel his eyes boring into you.

“You look really nice today,” he offers as you exit the lobby and head back out into the freezing cold air.

“Thank you,” you reply shyly, feeling the blush creep to your cheeks. “So do you…” you wanted to gush about how perfectly his hair is sitting around his face, how his shirt and jacket are hanging across his shoulders, how poised he just always seems to be without even trying… but you don’t. You hope to god you don’t run into any of his brothers, or anyone that you work with; coming up with an explanation why the two of you are out alone together again is something you truly don’t feel like dealing with right now. “So where are we going?”

“It’s called The Jordaan. It’s a really old neighborhood, with a canal going through the center. Bunch of little shops and stuff. Did you guys walk this way this morning?” you notice the lilt in his voice.

You shake your head. “No, we went the opposite way,” you answer. It’s quiet for just a minute more as you pass by the crowds and other people on the streets. “Why didn’t you and Josh come along?”

He takes a quick breath. “Eh, we didn’t really receive an invite, honestly,” he laughs, stroking his fingers over his mustache. “Had to be Lyla or Mia’s idea to go, if I had to guess.” He was right, but you still felt bad. “But it was okay, me and Josh went to eat and got to… talk a little without the interruption of the other two. Kinda rare these days,” he smiles, and his knuckles brush across yours just barely. The light touch sends your bloodstream to a raging fire, and you have to stifle down the pull to grab his hand altogether.

The sun is peeking through the heavy cloud cover of the evening, and you find yourself staring at the way Jake’s pulled his sunglasses to sit on top of his head, letting the gleam of the sunlight bounce into his mocha colored irises. He looks you in the eye each and every time he speaks, and commands your complete attention away from everything else around you. You’re pulled into him, letting your bodies barely touch and move together as you walk along. This attraction feels different than the heated, blurry, intense pull you had to one another last night. This feels innocent, even though you both know that it’s anything but.

You turn a corner as you come along to the long line of homes and buildings, multicolored and old in their exteriors but, still holding just the right amount of charm to be an attraction. You catch yourself looking above to see the craftsmanship of them. “Wow…” you exclaim quietly as you peer up at the finely detailed architecture, staring in awe at the shape they are still in. You pull your phone from your pocket and start to take photos, zooming in on the details and making a mental note to send them straight to Ruth later.

You walk up onto a little footbridge lined with parked bikes and people stopped to take photos. Suddenly Jake is behind you, barely resting his chin on your shoulder. “Gimme your phone, let me take your picture,” he murmurs in your ear.

“Oh no, that’s okay…” Before the words can even escape your lips, he’s snatched your phone and started backing up, glancing behind him and back to your phone every few seconds.

“You’re really good at taking my phone away and doing whatever you want with it, you know!” you yell at him in aggravation.

He motions his free hand for you to scoot sideways, and then again for you to stop where you are. He snaps a few, turning the phone on its side to get every angle he can. You stand a bit awkwardly, hating that people are having to stop when they notice they are walking in line of the photo. Finally he finishes and rushes back over to you. “They look good! See?” he says, handing your phone back and swiping through them with you. “Now you’ll have record.”

You walk past a few secondhand shops and stores, and suddenly, something in one of the windows catches your eye. “Oh my god, look at that!” you squeal, pointing to a glimmering red dress sitting perfectly on a mannequin. It isn’t like any dress you’d seen before; it looks vintage, bright cherry red velvet with sewn-in sequins weaved throughout. It’s tight, but not too tight, and short and lacking fabric in all the right places.

“Damn, you should go try it on!” Jake exclaims, obviously agreeing with your surprise at how pretty it is.

“Nah, I shouldn’t…” you say, walking away from the window.

“No, you should, actually. That dress is hot, Y/N,” he says, elbowing you in the ribs. “And I think you’d make it a hundred times hotter.”

You scoff. “Be quiet, no I would not.”

“Prove me wrong, then,” he challenges with a smirk, opening the door to the shop, and holding his hand out to invite you inside.

You step inside, and are immediately greeted by a man dressed in a formal tuxedo. He notices that you are not local during his greeting, and switches to rough English.

“Eyeballing the red number, are you madam? Give me one second, I’ll grab it off the mannequin for you,” you and Jake lock eyes as the man flits away, straight for the window. He raises his eyebrows in anticipation and gives you a grin so adorable you almost melt into putty right there in the store.

“Here you are ma’am, please, be careful, very old dress,” he explains, handing you the dress on a hanger and opening a curtain for you to go behind.

“Go ahead,” Jake mouths, pushing you into the small dressing room.

You stand almost naked in front of the mirror as you slip the soft, tight fabric over your thighs, your stomach, and finally over your shoulders. Jake was right, it fits you perfectly. The velvet material snatches your waist and bust, and cuts right above your knee. Its sequins shimmer in the overhead light, but aren’t so overwhelming that it looks showy. It’s something you could dress up, or dress down. You reach behind you and pull the zipper up only halfway. Of course.

You take a deep breath and pull the curtain back, finding Jake to have taken a seat on a plush maroon ottoman. His jaw drops as you walk toward him, and yet again, you feel the heat rise in your face. You continue walking toward him, turning at the last second with your back to him, pulling your hair to the side. “Finish doing me up?” you say, immediately realizing that could be taken in a way you didn’t really mean. But also kind of mean, if you’re being honest.

You hear him swallow and he stands, and feel his warm hand slowly grip the zipper and pull it up, his other hand resting gently on the back of your hip, this thumb barely squeezing at the muscle. He takes his time, moving the zipper at the slowest pace imaginable. “Everything alright back there?” you whisper over your shoulder, hearing your own voice tremble.

You hear the air push from his nose as he leans in a little closer. “Just taking my time… might be the only time I get to touch you this way…”

Your eyelids flutter closed at his words. You lick your lips, trying to calm your second heartbeat. “What makes you think this will be the only time?”

He finishes the zip, spinning you to turn and face him. He shrugs one shoulder. “Just don’t wanna get my hopes up,” he growls. “Take that as a compliment…if you wear that out in public, I wouldn’t stand a chance against the hordes of guys that would be following you around.”

You scoff at him, and the absolute absurdity of his statement. He has no idea how pretty he is, does he?

“Shh. That’s a lie,” you say as you turn back and motion for him to unzip you. He does, this time with a little more haste. You make your way back into the dressing room and switch back into your clothing, hanging the beautiful specimen back on the hanger the man had provided you with.

“What? You’re not getting it?!” Jake stands as you make your way back toward the employee.

“No, Jake! I can’t buy that! It’s too–”

“Perfect? Because you looked… I–I can’t even explain… You have to get it, Y/N,” he argues.

You hand the dress back to the man in the suit. “No. I wouldn’t even have anywhere to wear something like that…” you go on, internally screaming at how badly you really would like to have it.

“Let me get it for you, then,” Jake says. “It’s not even that expensive…”

“NO!” you squeal. “I mean, no thank you. Please, Jake. It’s completely fine,” you say as you begin to walk toward the exit. You simply could not let him buy this for you. No. Huh-uh. Absolutely the hell not.

He reluctantly follows you out of the store, still playfully going on and on about how you just made a huge mistake. You turn and face him, your face only inches from his. You grab both of his hands in yours, snickering a little at the surprised look on his face. “Jake, I appreciate the compliments, but I’d really like to get on with our date, now.”

JAKE POV

Her words send a shockwave through your system. “Date? So it’s a date now?” you ask, your hands cupped in hers as he looks you in the eyes.

She turns and begins walking again, and you have to physically tell yourself to move your legs and follow along. “You came to my door, asked me to go on a walk because you wanted to show me a certain specific special thing… now we’re exploring and talking and trying on dresses, I’d qualify this as a date,” she turns and gives you a teasing look of intrigue. “Just missing the food part, but I think it would still count.”

A smile comes to your lips as you realize she’s right. “You hungry?” you ask, finally catching up with her.

“No, I’m just kidding. Let’s go down to the riverside,” she points a little ways away, seeing that there is a sidewalk that runs alongside the water.

You stuff your hands in your pockets as you trudge along, the two of you taking in the scenery and the water beside you. The air is still blowing cold, but neither of you seem to mind. “So if we’re gonna qualify this as a date, maybe we should get to know each other a little better,” you suggest, earning a scoff from her.

“Seems a little backwards seeing as how we kinda already–”

“I know, I know,” you laugh. “Um, let’s see. Did you play any sports in school?” you ask.

“I played volleyball all four years, golfed with my dad on the weekends sometimes when he was around… Other than that, not really,” she explains.

“Shit, don’t tell Danny you like golf,” you go on. “He’ll capture you in a week-long conversation and then ask you to go play a round in every country we visit,” you laugh.

“Ummm, what’s your favorite holiday? And you can’t pick Christmas…” she says, pushing her pointer finger into your shoulder.

“Hmm, so, I think it’s a tie between the Fourth of July and Thanksgiving, because in July we’re always out of the country somewhere really beautiful, or we’re all at home blowing shit up together. I’m always really happy that time of year. And then Thanksgiving, because I will eat the fuck out of mashed potatoes any chance I get,” you say.

She laughs again, the sounds of her voice making your insides warm. “Your answer was better than mine!”

“Let’s see… What's your best friend’s name?” Noticing that she hasn’t really mentioned anyone.

“My best friend’s name is Ruth, we’ve been friends since elementary school. She’s… a complete idiot,” she laughs. “We still talk pretty much daily about anything and everything,” she explains. “Don’t have any secrets.”

“Oh so, she’s… getting the rundown of your whole European adventure in real time, isn't she?” you ask, wondering if she had been giving her a play by play of the whirlwind last few days you'd shared together.

She purses her lips and squints her eyes as her hand brushes past yours. “Guess you could say that…”

“Damn!” you laugh, feeling embarrassed. “Don’t tell me you included our bar bathroom escapade…”

Suddenly she’s tripping over her words. “I mean... No! I told her a little but like, not details or anything ya know, but she…I–”

“So she knows we almost hooked up but thankfully stopped just in time that my brother didn’t catch things getting too out of hand…” you say confidently, wanting to see the blush rush her cheeks again.

She stops, standing stiff in her place. “Okay, Jake. Caught me. Sue me, shit.”

You continue walking, pulling her along by the hand. “I’m kidding, I don’t care. I hope to meet her one day.”

She looks at you from the side of her eye, “I hope you do, too. Okay, who’s your best friend?”

“You really want me to answer that?” You’re surprised she can’t already tell. “I’ve got three built right in. All three pains in my ass but I love ‘em.”

“How sweet, Jake. Man, you do have a heart under there, somewhere!” she teases.

“Of course I do baby, I’m actually a sweetheart, didn’t you know?” you respond in a very piratical voice. “Alright, favorite music genre. This is the big one, answer carefully…”

“Ahhh, well…” she looks to the ground, truly contemplating her answer. “You already know the Alt-J stuff you added was way out of my normal choice, I actually listen to um, a lot of harder stuff, I guess you could say. Some metal, hard rock, also older country, some psych stuff. It runs the whole gambit,” she laughs, seeming like she was shy to admit it all.

“Wow,” you say. “So like, almost the exact opposite of what we’re into.”

“Kind of, I mean it probably overlaps… I love the stuff you’ve added to the list. And I’m sure there’s a few classic dad rock songs you like, don’t lie…” she smiles.

“Ehhh,” you argue, “Maybe a few…” you feel a sudden slight disappointment in the fact that the two of you probably will not be able to talk music much. But, that’s okay…

“Me and my dad used to go to rock shows a lot when I was a kid. I’ve seen all the country greats a few times a piece. Just something about that sound, you know? Reminds me of home, it’s very nostalgic… I’m sorry, I’m rambling…” she says, brushing the hair from her face as you find yourself enraptured in her words.

“No, no… it’s okay, ramble on…”

Light bulb.

You sneakily pull your phone from your pocket, adding that very song to the playlist, hoping she won't notice right off the bat, but hoping she will understand soon that you would listen to her ramble all day long. As she continues to talk, you can’t help but notice all the ways that she is so different from Isla. Like night and day. She listens to you when you speak, she doesn’t ever come at you with condescending words unless she’s being playful, she is sure of herself, and confident…and gives you that feeling down deep in your gut that tells you she’s something special. Though you’ve only known her a few days, it’s already obvious that she offers every single thing that Isla doesn’t, never has, and most likely never will. Instead of the uneasy, walking on eggshells feeling that you have everytime you’re with Isla, you get the confident, self-assured and joyful feeling in Y/N’s presence. And something is telling you to hold onto it.

Speaking of Isla… you really need to tell Y/N about her. It’s only right. It isn’t fair to her that she doesn’t have a clue, you wouldn’t have wanted to be left in the dark if the roles were reversed. You swallow, opening your mouth to start the conversation without having a clue where to even begin. But your thoughts are interrupted by Y/N’s sweet voice bringing you back down to earth again.

“I know you bargained for a short walk, but what if we went up there to that little pub and see what they have to offer?” she asks, smiling a toothy grin.

Maybe the time isn’t now…

“Lead the way, love.”

—

HER POV

Warm. Everything is just so warm. Your body, your face, his smile. Warm. The room is a dull hum of noise around you, your world growing still as he sits in front of you. You watch him in wonder as he talks about music and his passions, your face propped up on your fist. You know you must look positively smitten, and to be honest you kind of are. The two of you are giggling back and forth, even though nothing is really that funny. But that was the beauty of it. You can tell you are blinking slowly and try to reign it in as the nearly half a liter of beer swirls through your bloodstream. You can’t help but smile at him while he talks, his eyes locked on yours as a smile stretches across his own face.

You wonder how he is even able to hold a conversation right now, your brain reduced to mush as you continue to sip on your beer. He’s happy, you can tell, a dimple has appeared in his cheek and hasn’t left in nearly an hour. You can’t stop looking at it, at him. Everything about him. The twinkle lights over head have cast a perfect yellow glow on his tan skin, just as the sun starts to dip down below the river the two of you walked here from.

“You still with me, beautiful?” he asks, his knuckles brushing against yours.

“I’m here, but barely.” you laugh, “Why aren’t you feeling the alcohol yet?” you tease, taking a rather large gulp of your beer. You know he definitely has a higher tolerance than you do, but you can tell he is a little more smiley than usual. You place the large glass tankard back on the table as he stares at you, his eyes wide and sparkling.

“What?” you ask, feeling a bit bashful in your drunken state.

“You’re just…so– you’re just really pretty and it makes me feel, I don’t know, shy I guess,” he answers truthfully, biting his lips together nervously.

You feel your chest burst into flames, the heat radiating up your face to your already flushed cheeks.

“I like it when you blush,” he breathes, which of course makes you blush harder. “Like it best when it’s because of me.”

You feel all of your nervousness and anxiety melting away as he looks at you, and suddenly with the help of the beer, you feel brave enough to ask the question that has been on your mind all day.

“Jake?”

He nods his head ever so slightly, letting his fingertips drift across your knuckles.

“Why didn’t you answer? My song, how come you didn’t say anything?” you ask, swallowing down your last bit of nervousness.

He drops his head a little, grabbing your hand in his, letting his thumb skate across your skin. “I searched and searched for a song that I could respond with last night. One that would articulate what I wanted to say, but I just…I couldn’t find one. I felt like absolute shit after you left, Y/N. Really, I did. I fell asleep with that damn song on replay until my alarm went off this morning. It got in my head, and that’s when I decided I wanted to go on this walk today. Make it up to you.”

You stare at him for just a second, letting a smile slowly creep to your lips. He notices and you watch him as he visibly relaxes. He was nervous, too.

His eyes are locked on yours, both of you saying a thousand things with zero words. You let his words sink in, storing away each one until your heart feels a little bit lighter.

“Well, you better think of a good one tonight,” you tease, rubbing your thumb against his.

His phone buzzes on the table top, his eyes flashing down to it, then to you in panic.

“It’s fine,” you nod, gesturing for him to grab it. “I don’t mind, really.”

He picks it up and clears his throat, the loss of his hand from yours stings a little but you know he will do it again.

“From Josh,” he starts reading the message out loud, “Where are you? I knocked on your door and you didn’t answer.”

He smiles and laughs as his thumbs type back a response.

“Oh, another one,” he pauses, “We’re meeting up for dinner, just the guys, in an hour.”

His face drops a little, his eyes looking across the table to you. He locks his phone and sets it back on the table, his hand seeking yours out again.

“We should probably get going if you’re gonna make it back in time,” you offer, taking another sip of your beer.

He lets out a painful sigh, “I don’t really want to. I want to stay out…with you. I see them all the time.”

“No, no, no, you’re in Amsterdam with your brothers. They want to see you. Don’t change your plans around for me,” you insist.

He looks conflicted, you can tell he really does want to stay here with you, but he also knows he needs to meet up with them.

“Well, what about you? What will you do?” he asks, tracing his index finger around your hand.

You smile and shake your head, “Don’t worry about me, I’ll probably just go back to my room and do whatever it was I was going to do before you knocked on the door.”

He smiles and nods, licking his lips before speaking again, “If you’re sure, this is supposed to be me making it up to you for leaving you last night, now I seem to be doing it again.”

“Wanna know a secret?”

He raises his eyebrows in question, ready to hear your answer.

“I forgave you for that about two minutes into our walk,” you smile, squeezing his hand in yours.

—

He walks with you back to the hotel, his hand never leaving yours for a second. His grip is firm and warm, everything you ever dreamed of. You talk about the shops and the sights, and he tries again to convince you to buy that dress, bartering that he was going to have to go back and buy it himself if you refused.

As you step up to the hotel door you pause, turning and looking at him in the glow of the streetlights. “You don’t have to walk me all the way up, I think I can find it.” you tease.

“Alright, well, um, can I text you?” he asks, his tone reverting back to that of a nervous fifteen year old boy.

You feel the butterflies taking flight in your stomach, flapping their wings so hard you feel like you might take off with them. “Yeah, you can text me whenever you want to.”

A huge smile spreads across his face, “Yeah, alright, cool. I’ll um, I’ll text you then.”

“I’ll be waiting,” you answer, watching him stifle back his smile as he steps back a bit, bringing your hand to his lips. He places a soft and gentle kiss to the top of your hand, his cold lips barely grazing your skin, and sending a jolt of electricity through you.

“Won’t be long,” he smiles, stepping away and turning to head back down the street.

—

JAKE POV

You follow the walk route to the pin that Josh had dropped, finding yourself at a tiny pub down a back alleyway of a street. The place is crowded and warm, ambient lights with the damp smell of cigars lingering in the air. You mosy through the crowd, hoping that no one recognizes you and stops you for a drunken conversation or autograph.

Luckily it doesn’t happen, and you find Danny, Sam, and Josh tucked away at a high-top table in the corner. “There he is! Took you long enough!” Danny yells over the loud crowd, the first one of them to spot you.

The other two turn to face you, pulling your stool out for you to take. “Your beer is probably warm, now…sorry,” Sam says, pointing to yet another giant mug of beer, just the same as the one you’d just finished off.

“Fuck, thanks…” you say, tiptoeing to hop up onto the high stool. You simply can’t help the shit-eating grin that’s plastered across your face, even with all the maximum effort you have left in you. You take a large sip, finding the beer to still be fairly cold.

“Where have you been already today? You look flushed and far too jovial…” Josh presses, rubbing his hands together with his elbows resting on the table.

“Cold outside,” you say, shooting him a look.

The bullshitting and argumentative discussions commence as everyone obviously begins to feel their alcohol, and you take the distracted time out to text Y/N, letting her know you made it safely.

You

9:18PM: I’m here, but already wishing I never left

You attach a quick photo of your giant beer, and include the eye-rolling emoji.

Y/N

9:20PM: omg 😂 good luck choking another one down

You

9:21PM: Ye have little faith 🍺

A minute later you receive a photo of her room service sprawled out across the bed in front of her, chicken fingers and fries and some type of dipping sauce. You smirk at how cute she probably looks in whatever outfit she chose to get comfy in, and wonder what she looks like. You notice the TV in the background, and recognize the movie that she has playing.

You

9:24PM: Looks tasty

9:24PM: Damn, is that Wedding Crashers?

Y/N

9:25PM: Yes, I fucking love this movie

You run your hand over your face.

You

9:26PM: That sucks, I quite literally can’t stand that movie

Y/N:

9:26PM: 😱😱😱😱😱😱

9:26PM: You’re insane, this is one of my favorite movies of all time! Why do you hate it!

You

9:27PM: Dunno, not a sucker for cheap comedy I suppose

You’re interrupted by Sam’s snapping fingers in your face. “Hellooooo, Jake, you with us? Tell Isla to leave you the fuck alone, it’s guys’ night!”

You feel your eyes widen at his comment and glance at Josh, who is mirroring your exact expression behind his folded hands.

“Uh, sorry, sorry yeah.” You put your phone down on the table and try your best to be present with them, getting caught up in your normal absurd conversation. Your phone continues to light up and buzz on the table.

“You gonna get that?” Josh asks slowly and quietly, just loud enough for you to hear. You ignore him, finishing off the last bit of your beer that went down exceptionally quicker than you thought it would. Everyone is sufficiently intoxicated, and you have to admit, you’re having a really great time letting loose. The drinks are flowing, and the air is high-spirited all the way around. Danny is taking funny videos of Sam and Josh as they try their hand at some type of trick with a coin and a bottle cap, so you take the second to check your phone again. But what you see brings your serotonin level down just a notch.

Isla

10:12PM: Hey, what’s up?

10:27PM: Why aren’t you answering me babe :(

10:29PM: I miss youuuuu, you never called back last night

10:33PM: Saw Danny’s close friends story, glad to see you having fun ignoring my texts! 👋🏼

10:37PM: Can you accept my location request

10:42PM: I can see your phone in front of you Jake

You roll your eyes and mutter a quiet oh…my…god, rubbing your eyes with the palms of your hands.

“What’s up?” Josh asks, and you turn your phone for him to see. His eyes instantly widen as he reads.

“This…is the shit I’ve dealt with for the last three years. I can’t—” you cut yourself off, feeling your jaw clenching with aggravation.

Josh settles back in his chair. “Fuck, I had no idea…”

“What, what is it?” Sam and Danny basically simultaneously ask, seeing the disdain falling over the both of you at the same time.

“Nothin’, just a sad video,” Josh lies.

You decide to let Isla’s antics roll off your shoulders; you’re having too good of a night to let her whining bring you down. Things with Y/N are starting to heat up, and you find your tipsy self teetering on the edge of risk. You pull her texts up again, finding that she had responded a while ago.

Y/N

9:30PM: You’re crazy, this movie is fuckin hilarious

You decide to change up the game a bit, adding a song that reflects exactly how you’re feeling right now. You scroll through your library and land on it, bringing up the option to add it to your shared playlist. It’s perfect, ‘In the Mood For You’ by The Record Company.

She responds with a text a minute later, a string of five or six laughing emojis. You’re then met with a song addition on her end, ‘Are You Sure?’ by Willie Nelson.

Holy shit holy shit. You feel your stomach get warm and your head starts to swim at the thought of where this could go, where you want it to go. You take a deep breath as the excitement builds in your system, and you can physically feel your body getting warm. You want to scream. Your eyes begin to cross a little as your thumbs hover over the screen, flicking around as you decide what to do.

The next thing you know, Sam is setting another beer in front of your face, this one thankfully much, much smaller than the other one you had just finished off. Mother fucker...Gonna be very drunk.

You decide to skip out on a text, keeping this little game the two of you have going. You pull up the song search, adding ‘No One Else’ by Weezer. Perfect.

Seconds later, you receive a text.

Y/N

10:56PM: I’ll think about it…….

You feel your cheeks grow pink.

Just then another comes through from Isla.

Isla

10:57PM: Ignoring me isn’t going to fix anything, Jacob.

You scoff, shaking your head. You turn the phone to Josh again.

“God, block her fucking number. I’m so serious,” his voice raises a little, laced with a protective tone.

You ignore it, flipping back over to your texts with Y/N, suddenly feeling emboldened.

You

10:59PM: Think about what, exactly?

You lick your lips as you set the phone down, glancing around to see no one paying attention to you all up in your phone again. A minute later, you receive a photo. You click the message and watch as the attachment comes to life.

It’s a selfie of Y/N sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed in a barely-there black silk pajama set, with the object of the photo obviously the empty side of the bed behind her.

Y/N

11:01PM: You, here.

Son of a fucking bitch, she is gonna be the death of you. You pull your phone up so no one can see the picture, and you take a second to stare at her soft skin in the silk material, her hair a little messy but lying perfectly. She’s smiling just a little, and the dim light is bouncing off her features in all the right areas.

You

11:03PM: Absolutely stunning

11:03PM: Are YOU sure?

Your heart is positively racing, watching as her text bubble pops up.

Y/N

11:04PM: Only if you want to…

As the breath hitches in your throat as you’ve quite literally forgotten how to breathe, you take a second more, starting in on the beer Sam had provided. You lock your phone, trying to make up your mind of how to answer. What to do, what to do…

You finally decide to reply with a bold text.

You

11:06PM: I think I can make that happen…😉

11:06PM: We shouldn’t be much longer

You get dragged back into conversation with the guys, and fifteen or so minutes later, everyone is gearing up to leave. You glance down at your phone a few minutes later, seeing that she hasn’t responded. Weird.

Everyone stands to leave, and the alcohol hits you in the face. Yeah, pretty fairly intoxicated. You exit the building, feeling someone standing behind, close by. You turn to see Dean bringing up the rear of the group. “Whoa, where did you come from you scary motherfucker?” you tease, earning a big, warm smile from him.

“Been sitting at the bar all evening, Mr. Jake,” he responds, pointing for you to catch up with the rest of them.

You rest a heavy hand on his shoulder. “You’re really good at your job, Dean. I never even knew you were there, should have come and had a drink with us.” You feel your words slurring a bit. Just then, you feel your phone buzzing in your pocket incessantly.

“I wet my whistle with a shot of Jameson as soon as we got there, water the rest of the night,” he replies without looking at you. You laugh and step to the side a bit, pulling your phone out to see Isla calling. Fucking son of a bitch. You slide to answer it.

“What, Isla? Fuck!” your tone is a bit more harsh than you had expected, but warranted nonetheless.

Then, all you can hear on the other line is a rush of screams and yells, her voice loud and her words cramming as she lets you know how she feels. You pull the phone away from your ear, holding it there until you find a chance to speak again.

“Whoa, whoa, slow down, can you–”

Her screams continue, and you realize exactly how this is going to go. How it’s gone hundreds of times before. She’s not gonna let you speak. And honestly, you’re too intoxicated to talk, anyway. You set it to speakerphone as Josh falls back to walk with you. You shake your head as you allow your twin to listen to her incessant rambling. “You hear this shit?” you mumble. The two of you listen for a second more before you realize you can’t do it anymore.

“Isla, I’m hanging the phone up. Call me when you can have a mature conversation. Bye.” You don’t even wait for her to retaliate before pressing the big red button. In a huff, you bring up your text thread to see if Y/N has responded. Like the gods of divine intervention decided to reign down their bad luck upon you, you find that you had in fact sent those last two risky texts, to Isla.

“FUCK!” you yell, stopping in your tracks, hitting your palm to your forehead. “Fuck fuck fuck!” How could you have been so stupid?! Of course she had a reason to call and yell at you…

Your fingers move to Y/N’s thread, and you see that you were the one who had left her on read. You’re in the lobby of the hotel now, and everyone is dispersing to head to the elevator or down the halls to their respective rooms. You snap away for a second to tell them goodnight, before deciding to take the stairs up to your room. You needed a second, and to work off some of your drunkenness.

You finally pop into your room, feeling completely idiotic for accidentally sending the right text to the wrong number. You splash some cold water on your face, hoping it will bring you back to earth a little bit, but finding it to have only made your splotchy face and tinted cheeks worse. You brush your teeth and take a piss, finally settling on the edge of your bed to think.

Fuck it, you finally decide, bringing up your texts with Y/N once more.

You

11:47PM: I think I can make that happen…

Surprisingly, she responds within the minute.

Y/N

11:47PM: Hey. Thought you had found someone else to sneak away to the bathroom…

Your nerves flush up all over again. We’re still in the clear.

You

11:48PM: Don’t be crazy fledgling. I’m finding you in 5 minutes.

HER POV

Five minutes? Five minutes! You stare at the screen for a few seconds before your brain starts to work again, giving you a mile long to-do list before he knocks on the door.

“What!? What! What does it say?! Hello! Why do you look panicked!?” Ruth asks from the other end of the phone.

“Oh my god, he’s coming to my room. Right now, he’s on his way right this second, holy shit I have to– I have to clean up! I need to brush my teeth, brush my hair? Shit, I can’t be wearing this! Oh my god, shit I do not have enough time!” you screech, tearing across the hotel room to clean up the best that you can.

“Focus on yourself first! He doesn’t care about your messy room! Put on some deodorant for the love of god! Did you shave your legs today?! Wait, did you end up bringing that little black sleep set thing we found?” she asks, trying to help you prioritize.

“Yes! I’m wearing it stupid! Can you not see me?!” you shout, the clocking continuing to tick by.

“Fuck off, it’s blurry! Okay just go brush your teeth, brush your hair, deodorant, then let's work on the room. Hurry up!”

You run into the bathroom, applying deodorant as quickly as possible and checking your legs for stubble. “I shaved this morning, but I think it’s fine.”

“Did you shave…everything?!” she asks, just as panicked as you are.

“Yeah, thank god!” you answer, wetting your toothbrush.

“Okay, game plan, keep brushing, just listen. He’s into you, you’re into him. He’s been flirting with you all night. He wants you babe, and if it were me? Well, I’d do it. I know what you’re gonna say, ‘Ruthie, I can’t give it up on the first date’, blah blah blah, I don’t care, fuck the police. He’s hot, you’re hot, you’re in Europe, and if you don’t sex that man tonight, you might not get the chance to again.” she lectures, giving you a stern look.

You spit your toothpaste into the sink, wiping your mouth and grabbing for your hair brush. You run it quickly through your hair as she continues. “God, I have got to know what this man is like in the bedroom. I am so living through you right now. I expect every detail first thing in the morning. Not noon, not three, morning.”

You grab your perfume from the bathroom counter and hold it up to the camera, “Should I, or too much?”

“Yes, you should, obviously! But don’t overdo it!” she yelps back. You spray the perfume onto your wrists, careful not to spray too much.

“Alright, I feel better, but do you think I should change? Honestly, I feel so…”

“What? Hot, sexy? Drop dead gorgeous? Didn’t have a problem with it when you sent that picture earlier, what's different now?” she asks.

“Well, nothing I guess, I just… He will see me in person. You can see my nipples!” you admit.

“I think he’s gonna see a lot more than your nipples tonight babe, that’s just the appetizer.” she laughs, crunching the ice from her drink.

“Oh my god you are so gross, okay, fine. I just need to clean up the room and little and–”

A knock at the door renders you both silent. You mouth the words ‘oh my god’, as she laughs silently.

“I’ll call you later,” you whisper, quickly ending the call and tossing your phone onto the dresser. You take a deep breath and smooth your hands over the black satin tank top, pushing your boobs up, but letting out a defeated sigh when they drop back into place. She better be right about this.

You blow out a calming breath as you make your way towards the door, twisting the handle and pulling the door open. Leaning against your door frame you find Jake, cheeks flushed and somehow looking even better than he did this afternoon. He’s in the same clothes, and his hair is windblown, but there is something different about him. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but you file it away for later.

You purse your lips in a smirk, “You said five minutes.”

He smiles and nods, “I did, but I had to make a pit stop.”

“What for?” you ask, a playful tone to your voice.

You watch his eyes flick down to take in your appearance, his chest growing as he sucks in a deep breath, “Oh, you know…had to get something,” he pauses, shrugging his shoulders a bit. “Did you make up your mind?”

You bite your lips together as you open the door a little wider, “Mmm, I thought about it…”

He steps forward, his foot on the threshold, “And?”

You instantly reach for his shirt, pulling him into the room and crashing your lips into his. He immediately takes control, leading you backwards and kicking the door shut with his foot. His hands have found your waist, sliding beneath the silky fabric of your top and gripping into your skin. He backs you into a wall, letting his warm lips drag across your jaw as his hands continue to explore the soft skin of your stomach. It’s not long before his lips are back on yours, the taste of alcohol still lingering on his tongue.

His knee slides between your legs, parting them just enough to be able to press himself closer to you. Your arms lace around his neck, your hands tangling into his soft hair, as his hips press into yours. The sound of your lips on his is wet and desperate, the two of you devouring each other where you stand. His tongue slides into your mouth in search of yours, the two of you quickly picking up where you last left off.

You can feel his phone vibrating in his pocket as it presses against your leg, an incessant buzz that drags your attention away from his lips.

“You wanna get that?” you ask, whispering against his lips.

“No,” he growls, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip. “Probably the groupchat, I’m tired of them interrupting.”

He pulls the two of you from against the wall, walking you backwards towards the bed as his lips pepper kisses up and down your jaw. He tosses you down towards the bed, the fluffy white sheets pooling around your body. His eyes are hazy as he looks down at you, his cheeks still red from what you thought was the cold, but now know is the alcohol flowing through his system. His chest is heaving as he stares down at you, taking in every single inch of your body. You can feel the primal need radiating from him, and you remind yourself to thank Ruth for not letting your change into something else.

You can hear that his phone is still buzzing, and with a huff of aggravation he pulls it from his pocket and taps on the screen a few times before throwing it onto the nightstand. He drops to his hands, hovering over you as his shirt hangs from his body. You keep your eyes locked on his as you unbutton the buttons, letting your hands run up his stomach and over his chest.

His lips drop back down to yours, this kiss a little slower and a little more intentional, you can feel that he wants you, and you hope he can tell that you want him just the same. He hums against your lips, the evidence of his need starting to show through in his voice. You let your hands push the fabric of his shirt over his shoulders and he assists by tossing it to the floor. His necklaces hang between the two of you, the pendants cold as they rest against your chest.

His hand comes up to swipe at the thin strap of your tank top, pulling it delicately over your shoulder while letting his eyes meet yours. You nod your head just enough to give him permission, letting him repeat the action with the other side.

He brings his palm to rest on the side of your neck, his fingertips brushing lightly against your skin before he drags his palm down your body, pushing the soft black fabric down your chest.

“This what you wanted?” he hums, dragging his fingertips over your sternum. “When you sent me that little picture? Wanted to get me all worked up thinking about you in this? Thinking about you, out of this?”

Your nipples harden just at the sound of his voice, deep and rich, a gentle slur from the alcohol. He is pure sex as you look up from beneath him.

“Might’ve been…” you answer, biting your bottom lip nervously.

“Don’t do that,” he says, pulling your lip with his thumb. “Own it. Take what you want.”

A smirk is planted on his lips, his hair hanging around his face as he looks down at you. You decide to do exactly what he says, reaching down to the hem of your top and pulling it up and over your shoulders. His eyes drop down to your chest, now completely exposed to him, the lust almost visible in his dark eyes.

“Shit…” he breathes, his tongue wetting his lips.

He slots his knee between your legs, crawling forward a little bit more and dropping down to his elbows over top of you. His lips connect with your chest, sucking a long wet kiss into the roundness of the skin. You squirm beneath him, the feeling of his lips on your body more than you can handle in the moment. He drags his lips down your body, stopping as he meets the hem of your shorts.

“Smell so fucking good…You’re so soft, everywhere… Have half a mind to have you like this,” he pants, pressing his lips to your skin again.

“Come back,” you plead, needing to feel his lips on yours.

He moves quickly, grabbing your face with his hand and pressing his lips to yours. You reach between the two of you, your hand unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning the button on his pants. He groans as your hand slips into the waistband of his boxers, gently grazing the stubbly trimmed hair at his base. His eyes flick open to meet yours, almost as if he is surprised you’re doing what he told you to do. You stare at him, waiting for him to tell you to stop, but he doesn’t. You have the answer you need.

You press further, reaching for him, but surprisingly finding him still mostly soft. His eyes widen a little, and his head drops just a touch. You can tell he knows, and it’s caught him a little off guard.

You decide to take matters into your own hands, smiling back at him, “Roll over.”

He looks up, a small grin on his lips as he rolls to his back, landing in the empty spot you photographed earlier. You move to place yourself between his legs, reaching for the top of his pants and pulling them and his boxers down over his legs. He kicks them off and you toss them to the floor, taking in the sight of him completely naked in front of you. His chest is heaving as he looks at you, a grin on his shiny pink lips as he watches you slide your hands up his thighs.

“I know I already told you this, but you’re so fucking pretty I can’t seem to think straight.”

You can feel your cheeks grow hot, the way he’s looking at you and the words falling from his mouth have your heart pumping harder than it has in years.

“And god when you blush like that, fuck…”

You crawl forward a bit more, positioning yourself over him to straddle his waist. You lower yourself to a sitting position, letting him guide your hips to rest your body weight where he wants it. His hands grip into your hips, sliding under the silky fabric still covering your lower half. His thumbs rub circles into your hip bones, your hips rolling on their own accord against his. A hum leaves his chest as his eyes flutter closed, clearly enjoying his view and the feeling of you beneath his hands.

You reach for his hand, grabbing his wrist and guiding his palm to rest over your chest, letting his fingers grip into the soft fullness beneath it. He palms at your breast as you continue to rock your hips over his. His mouth opens just a bit as he focuses on you, slowly bringing his other hand to rest over your other breast. His grip is firm and warm, not too rough. A hum of pleasure leaves his lips every few seconds as he drinks in the moment, but still yet he is considerably soft beneath you.

You lean forward into his hands, letting your lips brush against his neck, your tongue darting out and licking a wet stripe up the column of his neck. His grip tightens and his hips buck upward into yours. You’ve got him where you want him now.

You pull away from him, moving backwards on the bed until you are hovering right above his dick. Your eyes flick to his, dark and boiling over with want as you lower your face closer to him. You grab him in your hand, feeling that he is still not truly hard enough to do anything with, but you still had a few more ideas yet.

“Can I?” you breathe, whispering the words against his soft pink tip. You bat your eyes at him, “Please?”

You watch his chest rising and falling quickly, his heart rate sky high as he watches you. “Been dreaming about it.”

You let your tongue glide over his tip, warm against your mouth as your eyes stay locked on his. You wrap your fist around his base and let your mouth sink down over him, running your tongue up the underside of his shaft. You can’t help but wonder why he isn’t rock hard at this point, his body giving you every single cue that he wants you, apart from this one.

His hand swipes the hair away from your face as you take him, feeling him growing just the slightest bit harder as his tip grazes the back of your mouth. You pull off of him just enough to speak, letting your wet lips brush his tip. “That okay?”

“Yes, fuck yes, I just–”

You grip your hand into his thigh as you shush him, “Shhh, I know, I’m not done.”

You take him down again, bobbing your head back and forth at a steady pace as his breathing starts to pick up. His skin is clammy under your hands and his chest is heaving as he watches you take him as far as you can.

Your brain starts to wander as you taste him, his natural musky smell translating to the taste of his skin. Maybe he drank too much? Or maybe you’re just bad at this. He should be hard by now. Maybe he doesn’t really want you like you thought.

A groan leaves his lips and his hips buck up, forcing him further down your throat. “Fuck…”

Okay, that's definitely not it. He has been falling all over you for days, it has to be something else.

His hand grips into your hair as his hips buck upwards again. “Feel so fuckin’ good baby, shit. Perfect little mouth, knew it would be.”

You let your eyes flick up to his, staring at him as his tongue rests between his lips. He’s trying, you can tell, but for some reason, it’s just not working. His brow furrows in anger, and you watch as his demeanor shifts, frustration taking him over.

You pull off him, his dick harder than when you started, but still fairly soft. You don’t know how hard he normally is, but it has to be more than this. Right?

“Jake, we don’t have t–”

He shakes his head, “Mmm, you know what? Come up here beautiful, come lay down for me.”

You do as he says, part of you sad to think that maybe you weren’t doing it for him, but you push the thoughts aside, swapping places with him as he adjusts the pillow beneath your head. He bends to kiss you, pulling away for just a second before pressing his lips to yours again much quicker.

“So fucking pretty, all of you. But especially that mouth,” he smirks.

He hooks his fingers into your shorts, pulling them and your panties off in one swift movement. You are bare before him, his eyes widening as he takes you in, finally getting a reaction from his dick. He fists it up and down a few times as he looks at you, “Can I touch you, baby?”

You nod quickly, letting him spread your legs apart with his free hand. A growl leaves his chest as he sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, “So gorgeous, shit…”

His thumb swipes up through your wetness, circling your clit a few times causing you to squirm beneath him.

“Jake…” you gasp.

His eyes meet yours, “Yeah? You like that? You’re so beyond wet, sweetheart.”

Your hips twist and turn beneath his touch, every angle proving to be more stimulating than the last. You whine, a string of curses and muffled versions of his name falling from your lips.

“You…” he pauses, taking a deep breath, “Are everything I thought you would be. More, even.”

“Jake, please, I– I need–”

He pulls away from you quickly, his hand still fisting his cock as he reaches for his wallet on the floor. He pulls a condom from the pocket inside, tearing the foil packet open as he kneels back onto the bed.

“Let me!” you urge, stopping his wrist, “I mean, please, can I do it?”

His eyes flick up to yours in surprise, “Yeah baby, you can do it. You can do whatever you want, swear to god.”

You grab the latex between your fingers, pinching the tip and rolling it over his cock. It's hard enough now that putting the condom on is fairly easy, but you’re positive he was even harder than this in the bathroom last night. You roll it to his base, letting your hand drift back up and over his chest before circling it around his neck. His hands grip your waist as his lips meet yours again, his tongue circling with yours as he moves you back towards the pillows, gently lowering your body to the bed. “Want you so bad, Y/N.”

“So have me,” you breathe, barely letting your lips leave his.

You welcome him between your legs, feeling his hand reach down to fist his base, gliding himself through your wetness. In only a matter of a minute his dick is softer than it was, and both of you know it, but neither of you are willing to acknowledge it.

His phone starts to buzz on the nightstand, both of you looking towards it. He doesn’t pay it any mind, letting it buzz on the wooden table until it stops.

“Look at me, baby, don’t mind that,” he demands.

You feel him press his tip to your entrance, his eyes fixed on yours. He furrows his brow as he presses his hips forward, but you feel nothing. Your eyes flick down between the two of you, finding that he can’t seem to get hard and stay hard enough to get it in. You feel a pang of hurt run through your chest, almost like rejection, but somehow a little worse.

“Jake, are you not hard en–”

“Just give me a second, I don’t know what the fuck is going on,” he growls, his attention turning to the still buzzing phone on the nightstand.

“I mean, I can give you head again if you think–”

“No, Y/N, I just– I just need a second, I’ll be fine,” he says. You can hear the anger in his voice, not at you, but at himself.

“Is it me?” you ask, running your fingers up his arm that is next to your head.

“Fuck no. You are everything I want, wet as fuck and gorgeous, no, it’s not you. I want you, I really fucking want you,” he says, stroking himself a few more times. “Alright…”

He repositions himself at your entrance, and this time you can feel him, he’s harder now, enough to slide into you, but still it’s only just enough to slip inside.

Even half hard he is bigger than the last guy you were with, the stretch as he presses into you making that abundantly clear.

“Oh Jesus Christ, you are so tight,” he pants, his dick hardening a little at the tight fit.

You slide your hands around his waist, pulling him down a little further as he starts to move his hips, “Oh goddamn…”

His phone buzzes twice on the nightstand as he starts to pump into you at a steady pace, but you ignore it, letting the overwhelming feeling of him moving inside of you take precedence in your brain.

He groans through closed lips, his brow furrowed in concentration as he slides in and out of you. He rolls his hips as he thrusts into you, a whine leaving your lips as your back arches.

“Motherfuck, you are–” he stops, regaining his composure, “Tightest fuckin’ pussy.”

Your hands grip into his sides as he picks up speed, his hips slamming into yours as both of you start to lose yourselves in the moment. Finally things felt normal, things felt good, way too good. You wanted this, you needed this, and fuck if he wasn’t checking every box you’d ever had.

He cups your cheek in his hand, dusting his thumb over your swollen lips just as you part them to suck it in. You watch his eyes roll back in his head as he starts to pant, and you can tell he is dangerously close to his finish.

You start to speak, ready to change positions but as you open your lips to release his finger, his phone rings, buzzing quickly across the table as the sound plays through the speakers.

“God fucking damnit!” he growls, “What the fuck!”

“Take it Jake, it’s fine, just– answer and they’ll leave you alone.” you urge, looking to the black phone skittering across the table.

“No, fuck no.” he snaps, his hips emphasizing his point. “I’m busy,”

The buzzing stops, and he looks back to you, letting his hand drift down to your chest. He rolls your nipple between his fingers, letting his lips meet yours. His kiss is wet, and desperate, his hips starting to falter as they move in messy strokes above you.

You can tell he needs to cum, his body racing closer and closer with every half hard stroke of his dick. You can also tell he is fighting it, his face is red, and his hairline sweaty. You know it will be seconds, if that, until he is tumbling into his release.

His eyes flick to yours in panic, an almost apologetic look on his face as he breathes, “Baby, I’m, fuck—”

As if right on cue, his phone starts to buzz, the ringtone blaring through the speakers as his hips stutter, slamming into you again as he looks at his phone on the table. His head snaps back to you, sucking in a deep breath of panic as his hips stop, his cock twitching inside you as he fills the condom with a guttural moan.

The fucked out look that takes over his face is like nothing you’ve ever seen. Reminiscent of a Renaissance painting, the features of his face twist into such a blissful expression that he almost looks like he’s in pain. He’s beautiful, there is absolutely no doubt about that, but it doesn’t change the fact that he just came, way, way too soon.

You are in shock as you lay beneath his panting body, feeling him grow soft inside you once again. He pushes up to his hands nearly instantly, his face riddled with remorse as he realizes what exactly just happened. “Y/N–”

His phone buzzes again, for what has to be the sixtieth time in the last five minutes, a snap of anger washing through you. “Are you going to fucking get that?”

He mumbles a curse under his breath as he pulls out of you, the condom full as he looks at it in shame. He covers himself with his hand as he snatches the phone off of the nightstand and makes his way to the bathroom. You can feel the embarrassment swirling through the air as you hear the sink in the bathroom turn on.

You grab the sheet at your feet and pull it up over your naked, unsatisfied body, trying to wrap your head around what exactly just happened. You try to catch your breath, the sound of your breathing filling the room but quickly drowned out by Jake’s phone ringing. This time though, he answers.

“Hello?!” he shouts, his anger apparent. “Yeah I’ve seen him fucking calling, I have been busy goddamnit!”

You hear the sink turn off and the toilet flush, followed by the sound of his footsteps walking back into the room. “Yes, I will call him, Jesus Christ, don’t ever blow my shit up like that again,” he snaps, ending the call. He pauses as he walks, a hand towel in his grip as he taps his phone screen.

You hear another call ringing out, but this time he's the one doing the calling. He walks over to you with the phone on speaker phone, a look of sadness on his face as he slowly approaches the edge of the bed. He sits next to you and reaches for your hand just as the person answers.

“Hey, man, been trying to call you.” the man's voice says, a tone of urgency present.

“Yeah, sorry about that, I was caught up for a second. What’s up, what’s going on?” Jake answers, rubbing his hand along your arm.

He turns to look at you mouthing ‘guitar tech’ as he hands you the damp towel. You make quick work of it, wiping yourself off but knowing you’ll be taking a shower as soon as possible. You throw it across the room as he snickers, waiting for Johnny to answer.

“Listen man, I’m at the venue, trucks just arrived and we are doing load out. One of the stage left Marshall cabinets split in transit. Wiring harness is fucked. Amp is…the amp is not looking good man.”

You see Jake stiffen, “What?”

“Huge gash in the backside, must have fallen or something, I tried to fuck with the wiring as best as I could, it’s not getting any signal right now, man.”

“Holy fuck,” he groans, standing quickly from the bed and gripping into his hair. “No signal? Did you try a direct line in?”

You cut your eyes wondering how he managed to sober up so quickly in the last three minutes.

“Yeah, even DI there’s no signal, just static. Powers’ on, but she’s DOA. Gonna have Mark take a look at it too, but I don’t have high hopes,” he continues.

“Is there anything we can do? How the fuck are we supposed to get a replacement amp and cabinet by tomorrow?” Jake asks, his voice laced with panic.

“We can make some calls, I know a guy with some leads. What are the chances of you coming down here to take a look at it? Maybe I’m completely missing something, man. Hoping it's a quick fix. Need your signature for the insurance waiver, too.”

“Can it wait until morning?” he asks, a pained look on his face.

“Probably shouldn’t, especially if we are looking for a replacement locally.”

He turns to look at you, and you can tell he is conflicted. You bite your lips together and nod your head. This is his job after all.

He runs a hand over his face, letting out a sigh, “Yeah, yeah, I um– I can be there in a bit. I just need to wrap something up here, and I’ll be there. See if you can get in touch with Hamstead, I’m sure they have a loaner we could use for tomorrow at the very least.”

“Will do man, hey sorry about this, I don’t know what happened, maybe it wasn't strapped down or–”

Jake is quick to cut him off, “It’s fine, not your fault. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Yep, see you then,” he says, ending the call.

He tosses his phone on the nightstand before dropping his head into his hands. “This night has been…”

He turns to look at you, letting out a sigh, “I don’t know what the fuck it’s been, fuck, I just…”

You can tell he is flustered, he can hardly form a sentence. “Listen, I get it. It’s fine, just go do what you need to do. It’s okay, really.”

He nods as he stands up from the bed, walking around the front to start grabbing for his clothes. He doesn’t say much as he dresses, and he will hardly look at you. You don’t really know why, but you can imagine he is feeling a little bad about himself and his performance at the moment. You still haven't let yourself process what exactly happened with the two of you just now, but you will, soon.

He re-buttons his shirt, pulling his hair up into a hair tie as he lets out a sigh, “Look, I’m sorry about this. I really am, this is the absolute very last thing I want to do right now, especially after… that. But I have to, and I don’t want you to think that I want to because–”

“Jake. I get it. Just go, it’s fine,” you say calmly, hoping he will believe you.

He grabs his phone and his wallet and shoves them into his pants pocket, kneeling on the bed towards you. He leans in to kiss you, but his lips don’t land on yours, instead missing your mouth completely. A new rush of secondhand embarrassment washes through you, and right now you think him leaving is probably the best thing he could do.

He curses himself as he stands up shaking his head in defeat as he swallows back his embarrassment. He walks towards the door with a hand in his pocket, turning to you just before stepping out, “I’ll uh…I’ll text you, I guess, I don’t know, fuck. Have a good night, Y/N.”

The door slams behind him and suddenly the room is silent. No heavy breathing, no pitchy moans, and no ringing phones. Just pure silence.

You stare at the wall for a full five minutes, the muted TV flashing colors against your skin. You can’t conjure a thought. Not a single one. Nothing other than what the fuck was that?

You want to call Ruth. You want to call her and tell her everything, but you also don’t even know what you would say. Something like ‘Hey Ruth, just had the worst two minutes of sex of my life? Oh did I mention he was barely hard? And I couldn’t get him hard? And that his phone rang the entire time? And that he came in two minutes? And I didn’t finish at all? And then he had to leave as soon as he finished? And now I’m sitting alone and naked in my hotel room?’ Yeah, you needed to sit on this one for a minute. Your eyes catch sight of the flower laying on the dresser, now looking a little bit limp and lifeless but still beautiful no less. You feel a pang run through your chest, tearing your eyes away from it so as not to taint that moment earlier with this one.

You rip the sheets from your body and make your way to the bathroom, turning the shower on as hot as it will go before stepping inside. You let the steaming hot water clear your mind and ease your tense muscles, washing away the scent of his cologne that is lingering on your skin.

You wrack your brain for answers, though you can hardly come up with anything that makes sense. There’s just no fucking way he is actually terrible in bed. We had so much chemistry, the electricity between us was nearly electrocuting you. He felt so good last night. We were so in sync last night. This had to be a fluke, right? You’ve seen him with his guitar on stage, where was that?!

You lather your skin in your body wash, rinsing away the remaining evidence that this night ever happened. After the best afternoon with him, why was he so off tonight? He barely seemed like himself. Maybe he really did have too much to drink.

You tried to put yourself in his shoes. If the roles were reversed and it was your phone blowing up like that, you probably would have been a little distant too. But that didn’t explain why he couldn’t stay hard. That was a mystery to you, and you really hoped to god it was the beers and not you. You know he was so much harder last night, you know he was. You felt it. So what happened between last night and tonight?

Something. You knew that much.

You turn off the water and wrap yourself in a towel, letting your mind wander with possibilities, trying to convince yourself that what he showed you tonight was not who he really was. You sat back down on the bed you just shared with him, thinking back to that few seconds where things were good. And it was good, it felt good, he felt good. There was no denying those few seconds. But the rest of it, well, that was still up for debate.

You grab your phone and tap the screen, the display reading 1:02AM. There are no texts from Jake, though you didn’t really know what you expected him to say.

From the little you know about him, when he left here tonight the confidence he naturally exudes was gone, not even in the same building. You knew he would reach out, but only when he was ready and knew what to say. But until then…

You toss your phone on the bed next to you, quickly changing into a clean pair of pajamas and curling back up into the bed. You lay there staring at the ceiling trying to figure out how you are going to handle things tomorrow. You would be with him the entire day, and you didn’t want to make him feel worse than he likely already did.

You go back and forth with yourself until you land on something sturdy: You won’t say anything, you won’t do anything. You’ll act completely normal. The same as you have for the last few days. You decide to tear this page from the book and move forward. This never happened.

Deep down you know there was something holding him back from being fully present with you tonight, but what that is you’ve yet to discover.

—

JAKE POV

The early morning finds you facedown on your bed, still fully clothed, one boot kicked off into the floor, the other still completely on your foot. The sun is far from being up, and you’re thankful that you still have a few hours before its rays beat in through your window. The bustle of the awakening city is loud on the streets below you, and you find yourself wanting nothing more than to stay in this exact position for the rest of the day. For the rest of your life, actually. Maybe, if you bury yourself under these blankets and pillows, everyone will forget about you. Isla will forget about you. Y/N will forget about you, about everything, about last night. It will be like it never even happened. It will be like the most amazing buildup to what could have been a night of pure electricity didn’t take an absolute nose dive into one of the most embarrassing things to have ever happened to you. You’d take tripping on stage a million times over this. Pure. Humiliation.

Yeah, right here, in this bed. Under the pillows. They can’t find you here.

What the fuck even happened?! Whiskey dick was an understatement. It didn’t even begin to explain what you…experienced. Unable to perform for the most beautiful new thing that has happened to you. Everything was perfect, she was perfect… her confidence was enamoring, her head was off the charts good, and fuck, for the few seconds you had things actually going, it was pure ecstasy. She was soaked for you. Her sounds, her face… fuck. It all came flooding back to your brain, even the way she smelled still stuck in your mind. She wanted you, just as badly as you wanted her. Just the thought of it had you standing at attention all over again, at full force this time, though. And you’d let her down.

You sit up and roll yourself over. “Where the fuck were you last night, huh? Let me the fuck down!” you audibly yell at what was happening in your still-belted jeans. You force your face back into the comforter, realizing now that a horrific hangover is on the horizon. Your head is busting in two already, not like you already didn’t feel like shit on a boot.

Staying here, under the pillows until sound check. Right here. Not moving. Hiding.

You know that’s not realistic, though. You contemplate texting her, but what the fuck do you even say? You couldn’t even satisfy her, and ended up satisfying yourself, way too fucking soon. What had you lasted, two minutes? Three max? Like a fucking 16 year old kid. God, what a fucking tool. She probably thinks you’re a horrible lay. You know you’re better than that.

You groan hard into the sheets below you, feeling the metallic taste of a hangover in your mouth. You need a gallon each of water, orange juice, and black coffee, stat. And probably like, nine pieces of the butteriest toast you can find. And probably a shower, yes, a shower. And a straightjacket, for how absolutely insane you feel.

Damnit, the amp. Luckily, the rental was in the works of being en route last night, so you feel just a little bit better about that, at least. It won’t be your baby, but it will sound okay.

You roll and find your almost-dead phone underneath your chest, blinking your eyes as the screen brightens. Nothing. Not even Isla. Good. No one wants you. You can stay here, hidden in your burrow, until you absolutely can’t anymore.

You’ve gotta say something, anything to her, to start this process that you want to stay millions of miles away from. But the first step to healing is admission, so you go ahead and take it.

You

5:31AM: I’m sorry.

You watch as the message is delivered to her, seeing the string of foreplay texts and her photo still sitting in the chat. She’s so gorgeous, how could you have fucked up this badly? Your first chance to show her how you feel and you fumble this hard?

Though there were many factors playing into it, at the very deepest darkest part of your mind, you know why. You know exactly why. Guilt isn’t an emotion you let yourself feel very often, and this morning, you find yourself grasped in the wrath of it. The double-edged sword of your current situation with two separate women is proving to be more intertwined than you’d anticipated, or even foresaw. What you want is clear, though. And you’re determined to get a second chance, no matter how rocky and uncomfortable the road to that chance may be.

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zorosleftshoe · 1 year

Text

Fat, Funny, Friend - (c.b)

Pairing: Colby Brock x plussize!fem!reader

Warnings: Body dismorphia, self hate

Summary: Colby has always dated skinny women, sometimes you just need a little reassurance

Disgusts. Rage. Guilt. All feelings I became overwhelmed with as I looked at how the dress hugged every curve, every roll, that the glittery black dress outlined as if putting it on display. Instinctively, I tugged at the tight fitting fabric in an attempt to loosen it from my skin but it didn’t budge. A heavy sigh rolled off my tongue as I shrunk in defeat. A light knock on the door ripped me from my thoughts and away from the sad girl staring back at me from the mirror.

“Are you ready, darling?” Colby asked peaking his head into the room to respect my privacy as much as he could. “I don’t want to rush you.” I shook my head frantically and swallowed down the negative words that threatened to spill from my lipstick stained lips.

“Let’s go before I change my mind again.” His eyebrows furrowed together in worry but he obliged by sticking out his elbow and waiting for me to clasp my hand around it. With one last unforgiving look, I glanced back towards the mirror and watched as our two silhouettes mocked me. “Maybe I should stay home.” The suggestion fell on deaf ears as Colby had already gone into business mode with his eyes fixated on the two men in front of us.

“Sam!” Colby used his free hand to give Sam a half hug before looking to the brunette next to him. “Nate! So good to see you guys. Thanks for meeting us here. It just makes sense to ride together, no?” The two men nodded in agreement before I caught Sam’s gaze.

“Are you sure you want to wear that?” He asked referring to the strapless dress that clung tightly to my chest making it nearly impossible to breath and my heart began to hammer in my chest at the question. My eyes darted around the room as I frantically thought of an answer to his question. ‘What’ fell from my lips before I could form a coherent thought. “It’s cold outside. Are you sure you want to wear that? At least wear a jacket. We don’t want you getting sick!” I inhale deeply at the realization and happily accept his hug as he takes two steps forward.

“What’s up, bitches?” My heart drops at her voice. As if on cue, Amber walks into the room dressed in a gorgeous floor length gown. The baby pink mixed with a sharp gold that leaves you breathless. “Hi, Sam.” Her eyes lock onto Colby and I can’t help but hold my breath. “Colby.” Amber was a goddess. Someone who could walk into a room and catch the eye of everyone in it. I knew if it came down to Colby choosing between us I would never be his first choice. Honestly, I feared I wasn’t even on the roster.

It was no secret that before Colby and I met he had exclusively dated thin women. Of course, there was nothing wrong with that. Every body is beautiful and that is something I have always stood behind. Especially when the world isn’t always kind to women who look like me. The second we had gone public comments came flooding in by the handful. I had never seen so many whale comments in my life. High school hadn’t even been that bad and that was a horrid experience.

“You okay?” I nod but I can tell Colby isn’t satisfied with my answer. “We can table it for now but I want to talk about it later.” He presses a gentle kiss to my temple before stepping away to entertain Amber in a quick conversation. Sam noticed my uneasiness and tapped my shoulder.

“They’re just friends.” I nodded in response but failed to swallow down the bubbling fear of Colby leaving. “I’ve never seen him as happy with anyone as he is with you. I’m stoked he found you.” With a half smile and a firm hand on my shoulder, he saunters off to the next person before we’re all piling into the van that would be our Uber.

“Colbs.” The name is rushed as I graze over the number of seats as well as the number of people. Not enough room. Never enough room. Colby leans down so his ear is hovering next to my lips. “I,” I hesitate already feeling my cheeks flush with embarrassment. “I won’t fit.”

“Nonsense, baby. Of course you’ll fit.” He attempts to pull me forward with the hand he has resting on my left side but I don’t move. “Baby-“

“Colby, I really won’t fit. As embarrassing as that is to admit, it’s the truth. In a couple seconds we’ll be the last ones standing here and then everyone will know why I don’t want to get in the van. Amber will know.” His eyes widen in disbelief.

“What does Amber,” he pauses and lets out a heavy sigh. “You can sit on my lap. But we have to go.” Once again he attempts to step forward with me in tow but I stand my ground.

“I’ll crush you. You should just go without me.” He shook his head and finally turned his body to face me giving me his full attention.

“This is an important night for me. You know I want you there. You’re really gonna stay home because you’re scared of a seat?” I knew he didn’t mean it with ill intent but I could see his rising anger behind those baby blue irises. A bitter chuckle leaves his lips and he uses two fingers to pinch the bridge of his nose before raising his hands in surrender. “Do what you want. I can’t be late.” I watch as he climbs into the already crowded van and shuts the door. A few seconds later it pulls off and leaves me standing in the driveway in my fancy attire. Tears threaten to spill as I trudge up the long staircase to Colby and I’s shared room.

The mirror facing the door is the first thing I see upon entering our bedroom. A sob escapes my lips at the sight I see. A girl with sad eyes and mascara stained cheeks stares back at me and I quickly claw at the zipper of the dress before tugging it off my body and kicking it somewhere in the room. I dress myself in a comfy sweater and warm sweatpants before throwing a blanket over the mirror and flopping down onto the bed. Hot tears roll down my puffy cheeks as thoughts of Colby and Amber run through my mind.

Hours passed before the door finally opens and Colby steps into the room. The top buttons of his shirt are undone and his jacket is nonexistent. He takes a look at the mirror before noticing my position on the bed and slowly sitting next to me. I don’t need to look to know he’s thinking of what to say. A gentle hand touches my back and begins rubbing it in a soothing motion.

“Can we talk, love?” I turn my head towards him and watch as his eyebrows furrow together at the sound of my sniffling. “I’m sorry about earlier. I know how that would have triggered you and I should have been more understanding.”

“It wasn’t very ‘live, laugh, love’ of you.” I whisper trying to relieve the tension between us only to be given a disapproving look. “It is what it is.”

“Baby,” he moves from the bed to kneel on the floor so he’s eye level with me and uses his free hand to move a few stray hairs out of my face. “That mirror doesn’t define who you are. The way you look doesn’t define who you are. You are so beautiful to me and I know it’s hard for you to believe given the girls I’ve dated in the past, but honey,” he pauses searching my eyes for any sign of understanding. “I am so in love with you. Every inch of your skin. No matter how much there or how little there is. You will never be too much for me.” More tears fall from my eyes as I process his words. “You don’t need to cover the mirrors with blankets because you don’t like what you see. That woman you see staring back at you?” He rises to his feet and holds his hand out for me to grab. Hesitantly, I take it and he leads me to the mirror before slowly removing the blanket and taking a place behind me. “You see her?” I hum in response not tearing my eyes away from the ones that stare back at me. “She deserves love too.”

“How can I love something like that?” Colby moves his hands from my shoulders slowly down my neck. I watch as he traces the crest of my breasts and moves down to the excess skin I try so hard to hide.

“The same way I do. I love every part of you.” He places a sweet kiss at the base of my neck before resting his chin on top of my shoulder. “I will love the parts you hate even more. I’m sorry that you don’t see yourself the way I do, but I promise I won’t stop trying.” I turn away from the mirror and face him. He grazes his hands along my arms pulling them with his to place them around his neck before moving his hands to my waist. “I love you. I will say it every second of every day if that’s what it takes for you to believe it.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” Colby chuckles and presses his lips against mine.

“I think the more important question is, what did I do to deserve you?” I shake my head and lean in again to catch his lips is a sweet kiss. “You’re beautiful. So beautiful.” He places a hand on my right cheek and gently traces the apple of my cheekbone with his thumb. “Now what do you say we go get a milkshake and you tell me about that new show you want to watch?” My heart flutters at the words and I smile.

“You really are perfect.” He laughs and kisses me once more before taking my hand and leading me to the door.

#sam and colby #colby brock imagine #colby brock x reader #colby brock x y/n #colby brock x you #colby brock

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loveshotzz · 1 year

Text

There’s a place for me

Eddie Munson x Fem!reader

Chapter 1/?

Summary: On the run for wrongful murder charges, Eddie finds himself stopping in a sleepy ocean side town far enough from Hawkins where he can lay low for awhile. Running from the people that want him dead, his only hope is that his past doesn’t catch up to him. Especially when he meets the pretty eye’d waitress up the street.

Word count: 5.7k

Warnings: slow burn, angst (Eddie hates himself for running) eventual smut, strangers to lovers. My blog is 18 plus.

A/N: this concept was sent as a request by my irl friend @elthreetimes and as soon as I read it, there was no way it could just be a one shot. It needed to be a series. I feel so lucky that you trust me to bring this story to life, and I hope you enjoy this. Also I couldn’t have done this without my hellfire crew @myobmaya @boomhauer @subparwritersuperbreblogger @sweetsweetjellybean for bouncing ideas and characterizations with me. I seriously couldn’t have written this with out you guys. This is the most ambitious story I’ve ever tried, so here goes nothing. Also bonus points for anyone who guess’s who which character Ron is based off of.

*comments, likes, and reblogs would mean so much if you enjoy my work 💘

For days it felt like all Eddie did was drive, the passage of state signs was his only measurement of time. The hours blending together like the lines on the highway, tangerine skies bleeding vermillion the colors remind him of Chrissy eyes after they exploded inside her head. The beauty of it all being taken away as the image of her crumpled body replays over and over in his mind. With no destination he was driving on auto pilot, only deciding where he was going the third night in.

Hair dripping from the storm outside, his fingers feel bruised from switching out his plates for the third time. Sitting in the back of his van tucked away on the side of a dirt road somewhere in West Virginia, it was the first time in his life he was thankful his dad had taught him a thing or two about evading the law. Stripping off his wet jacket he knew he needed to find somewhere to go. He couldn’t keep driving aimlessly, he didn’t have the money for that. The only cash he had was whatever he’d gotten from his deals earlier in the week, thankful he didn’t spend it on the re up that was suppose to happen the night before everything changed.

He’d never seen the ocean, an elusive place he could only visit in his dreams. Stopped on the boarder between West Virginia and Pennsylvania he wasn’t that far from the east coast. Using his lighter to illuminate the road map he’d found stashed in a messy wad in his glove box he guessed it was maybe a 10 hour drive from the coast. Throwing the idea of sleep out the window with wet clothes making it impossible for him to get comfortable he decided to do what he’s done this whole time, drive.

Watching the early morning sun slowly seep into through the storm clouds the grey sky fades to a more comforting cerulean. Eddie drove with the kind of determination that he wish he’d used to pass high school. Maybe he wouldn’t even be in this mess if he’d just graduated when he was suppose to. Convincing himself he would have been long gone playing guitar in any city that wasn’t Hawkins, he lets himself wallow in self pity till his tires bring him to the ocean.

——

Finding his way into a nameless town that wasn’t even listed on his map, it made Hawkins look like New York City. A small strip set on top a broken battered road - he swerves to miss the never ending onslaught of pot holes. The few shops they had were attached to a single grocery store, the sides of the buildings eroding away from the misted wind. Snorting to himself - of course this is where he ends up, a beach side ghost town. Eddie catches the Help Wanted sign hanging in the window of the diner that lay nestled at the end. Sticking out from the rest, the way it’s lit almost makes it look like it glowing against it’s drab surroundings. It was also the only place he’d seen with any sign of human life.

The lights of The Sleepy Hill motel greet him like the four seasons, when his tired van pulls into the mostly empty lot. The flashing vacancy sign is a promise of a bed, his bones worn down and sore the weight of everything finally kicking in. When his dirty white Reebok’s hit the ground his arms reach for the sky in a kitten stretch of his whole body, eyes closing he relishes in the pops he feels in his spine.

Inhaling a deep breath the salt in the air stings his nose, the mist off the shore making his bangs stick to his forehead. Pulling a runway strand of hair from his cheek he finally takes everything in. On one side of him there was nothing but an endless expanse of tumultuous waves raging against the shore line. The storm clouds he had out run were making their way back through, the lingering bitterness of winter still hanging thick in the March air. It wasn’t like the kind of warmness he’d seen on the postcards, or the in the stories that Rick told, this wasn’t Venice Beach. The sight of a light house in the distance brings a slight feeling of comfort when he watches the strobes of light break through the purple hues of the darkness starting to set in over the horizon. Eyes lingering he lets himself sit in it for awhile watching the waves crash into the broken brick holding it up from falling into whatever laid in the water beneath it. When he turns his attention back to the town that took him less then a minute to drive through, the red “EAT HERE” sign that spun on top of the diner mocks his stomach when he realizes it had been almost a whole day with out any real food.

Slamming his car door shut, he takes quick strides to the back making a mental note to drive to the next town over at some point tomorrow to switch out his plates again, it was too risky to try to do it with any car in a town like this. Eyes darting nervously he opens his back doors with shudder that rings out over the sound of the waves. Furrowing his brows in concentration he starts digging though the blankets in the back searching for the outfit he’d found balled up a few nights ago. Forgotten about after a sleep over at Gareth’s, the memory of a time where his life wasn’t like this hurts in a way that he can’t explain. Maybe he wasn’t as miserable as he thought he was — all the little things he took for granted now at the forefront of his mind.

He hadn’t let himself think about Wayne. Maybe it was the adrenaline that kept his mind from going there, or that thing he’d heard about when your own mind blacks things out to protect you, but he hadn’t thought about what that must’ve been like for him to come home to that.

A life less mangled girl he didn’t know and a nephew that no one was going to find. Eddie just ran without a single thought as to what that would mean for him. Scowling to himself he blames the Munson blood that runs through his veins. Images of his Uncle slumped over with tired shoulders, shuffling into the trailer in the early morning hours when the sun is just peaking through the trees. Boots heavy from another double at work, walking right into the nightmare that Eddie left him with.

Eye’s burning he holds back his tears grabbing the balled up shirt and jeans giving them a sniff. They didn’t smell clean but they smelt better then what he was wearing now and that was just going to have to do. Fingers crossed the motel clerk would let him rent a room with out an ID, he was desperate for a shower. Shoving the garments into his backpack he takes another deep breath ignoring the sting this time, closing his eyes he fights away all the emotions that are ready to spill out. Clearing his throat he cracks his neck before slamming the metal doors shut.

Half way across the pavement Eddie stops in his tracks when he see’s the guy behind the counter. Not much older then him there was something oddly familiar about him, when he glances up catching Eddie in his line of sight. Shaggy brown hair parted down the middle and big teeth protruding from below his upper lip, his beady eyes squint as he tries to figure out what Eddie was doing. The sound of a distant boat horn is what makes his feet finally move again, the boy behind the counter standing up as Eddie closes the distance.

There’s a small chime when the glass door swings open, the warmth of the lobby heats him in a way he hadn’t realized he missed until its hits his skin. There’s an awkwardness that hangs thick in the air when the door closes behind him. Eddie hadn’t talked to another living soul in days besides mumbling the amount of cash and on what pump at gas stations. The man behind the desk who’s name tag said ‘Ron’ was staring at him like he was trying to pin point something familiar about the metal head, and it was making Eddie’s palms sweat. The anxiety of being caught tightening in his chest. Scratching the back of his neck he clears his throat.

“Hi — hey, man I’m uhh- I’m looking to get a room?” He tries to hide how startled he is at his own voice having not heard it in hours.

Ron’s silence doesn’t break much to his dismay as he takes in Eddie’s appearance. Dark eyes trail over his disheveled form before flicking back towards his van in the parking lot. It wasn’t just his palms that were sweating now.

“What’s your deal? You some kinda rockstar or something?” Ron finally breaks his silence, stunned it takes Eddie a minute to comprehend what exactly he’s being asked. When he finally wraps his head around the question he has to actively stop the snort that threatens to come out.

Looking down at his wrinkled hellfire shirt, the cotton is stained with a mixture of dirt and grime from the nights in his van. The whites of his Reebok’s barely visible under the dried up mud from last nights storm. Having caught a glimpse of his reflection in the glass of the door on his way in, he knew his wild mane looked like a bird had laid nest in it.

“Excuse me, what?”

Ron sucks his teeth shrugging.

“You just look like that Van Halen guy, but there’s no way you’d be here if you were actually him I’d reckon.” He says matter of factly before sitting back down in his desk. “And he wouldn’t look like he just rolled around in a pigs play pin. Or maybe he would? I don’t know the life style of a celebrity.” He adds with a wave of his hand.

Stunned and completely unsure of how to respond to the man in front of him, the conversation was not going a direction Eddie had even seen coming. Opening and closing his mouth a few times, he finally finds his voice again.

“Yeah, not Eddie Van Halen. My name is Eddie though, Eddie umm Henderson.” He winces internally when Dustin’s last name leaves his mouth.

“Eddie Henderson? That’s not very rock and roll.” Ron tuts before looking up at Eddie from his computer.

Feeling his frustration start to reach it’s tipping point, his fists clench at his sides before they release. Running a hand over his face he exhales sharply through his nose mustering up enough self control to answer politely.

“Sorry to disappoint.” Eddie pointedly looks at his name tag before adding with a curt smile. “Ron.”

Arching a brow, the man at the front desk brings his attention back to the computer screen with a hum. The awkwardness from before becomes almost suffocating in the small room. The growing silence between them lasting long enough that Eddie starts to panic.

“Look man, I’m just trying to get a room for a few nights then I’ll be out of your hair okay? I’m not some rockstar who’s gonna trash the place. I’m a nobody.”

Eyes never leaving the screen the sound of the mouse clicking is the only noise filling the space.

“Got an I.D. Eddie Henderson?” Ron’s tone is flat when finally looks up at eddie through the hood of his lashes, his own irritation clear on his blemished face.

The question he knew was coming still stiffens his body when it leaves his mouth, but the thought of another night sprawled out on the damp blankets on the metal floor of his van is enough for the burning sensation of tears to sting his tired eyes again. Shuffling on his feet, he readjusts his backpack.

“I’ve got cash, I can pay for at least two days up front.” Stepping closer to the desk his fingers drum against the counter top nervously, doe eyes pleading to show him a shred of mercy.

“No, I.D. No ro—“

Digging the 200 of the 250 he had left from his pocket, he slaps it on the desk in a crumpled lump. His survival instincts kicking in with a new level of stubbornness he didn’t know he had. He wasn’t leaving until he had keys to a bed and a shower.

“Please, man. I’m begging you.” The tears that had been threatening fall finally breach his strong hold, a single droplet landing onto his bottom lashes. He wipes it away quickly with the back of his hand, sniffing he closes his eyes collecting himself again. “I’ll keep to myself, you won’t even know I’m here.”

Ron’s eyes soften at the desperation is Eddie’s voice, despite policy there was something sincere about the mysterious stranger standing in front of him.

“200 will get you three nights.” Reaching over the counter he grabs the crumbled up bills before standing up, turning to the wall of keys behind him.

Relief floods his body as he watches Ron’s fingers skim over the glistening metal dangling from the dark blue wall. Blinking back tears the tense muscles in his shoulders release some of the stress they’d been carrying for the last 700 miles.

“Room 10, it’s at the very end. No parties rockstar.” Handing over the single key, it hung from a round burgundy keychain, a faded gold 10 stamped onto the plastic. Eddie can’t help but actually laugh this time, his mood lifted for a fleeting moment.

“Seriously, thank you. You won’t regret this I promise.” Snatching the key before he had a chance to change his mind, he clasps both hands together in front of his face bowing slightly in appreciation.

“There’s free coffee in here every morning. If you bring your key to the diner up the road you get a ten percent discount. We don’t have laundry but there’s a laundromat next to the grocery store, it’s open weird hours you’ll have to check the sign.” Ron prattles on, his voice becoming more professional now that Eddie was a paying guest.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Walking backwards Eddie kicks the door open, the chill in the air sending a shiver down his spine.

“Nice to meet you Eddie Henderson.”

—

The walls of the motel room match the ones in the front office, the sapphire paint chipping at the edges of the ivory trim. The single bed in the middle was covered in a crimson duvet, two fluffed pillows propped against the black head board tempting him enough that he almost throws the idea of a shower and food out the window. Toeing off his shoes, the socks that should be a crisp white are the color of ash and it reminds him just how dirty he really is. Dropping his bag on the floor he starts peeling off his clothes making his way to wash off the last 72 hours.

A satisfied groan falls from between his chapped lips when the heat of the water hits his skin. Tilting his head back he lets it run through his thick tangled waves, pooling at his feet the water is tinged brown. Turning he faces the stream with closed eyes letting it wash over his face as he tries to find peace in his thoughts. The fear seeing Chrissy suspended in the air every time he closed his eyes was what prevented him from the sleep his strained body needed.

After spending longer then he should wrapped up in the warmth of the shower, he can’t ignore the growling in his stomach, remembering the discount at the diner he forces himself out.

The cheap blow dryer makes his hair frizz with more volume then he was used to, holding it down with both hands on either side of his head he sighs exasperated when he lets it go and it bounces back with more force.

Whatever, he didn’t know anyone here and he wasn’t going to be around long.

Changing into his cleaner clothes, he pats down his jeans feeling something in his back pocket. Reaching behind him his fingers come in contact with the thin plastic foiling of a crumpled half full pack of cigarettes he’d left in a drunk mess one night.

“Fuck. Yes.” He mutters to himself feeling a little more like a person rather then just a passenger in his own body for the first time in the last three days.

Grabbing his jacket off the bed nimble fingers search for his lighter once the leather is wrapped around his shoulders. Smirking when he finds it, he heads for the door grabbing his key off the off the dresser. Turning around before he leaves he takes one good look at his new home for the next few days. It wasn’t much but it was better then hiding off on the side roads begging to get caught.

——

The rocks crunch under his feet as he walks up the wounded asphalt towards the diner, the mist in the air taming the poof in his hair as he struggles to get the cigarette lit. The hint of tobacco on his tongue teasing him as the gust off the shore snuffs out the flame every single time.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” dangling in his lips he stops for a second to switch positions so his back was facing the direction of the wind. “You’ve got to be shitting me.” Grumbling he snatches it out of his mouth in a huff before shoving it back in his pocket. Keeping his hands dug in into his jacket his face is set in a hard glare as he hits the parking lot of the diner. The inside gleams brightly and it’s the stark contrast to the dark moody-ness of his thoughts and the outside.

There’s families gathered in the windows laughing in the warmth of the light and he does his best to ignore the pang in his chest. Shoving down the realization of just how alone he really is now, he wasn’t ready to mentally unpack that yet.

Opening the single glass door of the entrance, the sound of the oldies station plays under the low hum of everyone’s chatter. Red vinyl covering the seats, a row of booths line the outside, the white walls barely visible decorated, covering almost every inch in various collectibles. The long bar attached to the kitchen extends down the length of the restaurant lined with stools.

Unlike the booths, the bar was filled with truckers and waderers. Hunched over their food alone in their thoughts. Taking a seat where he belonged the chain of his wallet clinks loudly against the metal of the stool.

The menu was already laid out on the formica counter top, just a page long the corners of the lamination are creased after obvious years of use. His eyes strain to read the red words that pop out against the white of the paper, the sleepless nights slowly catching up to his body. He tries pulling it further from his face to get a better look completely unaware of the pair of eyes watching him.

“Need some help with the menu?” A melodious voice breaks his concentration. Looking for the owner he comes face to face with you.

Almost as if someone knocked the wind out of him the softness of your features stuns him enough that he can’t find his voice. The dress you wear as a uniform wraps tightly around your curves and he fights his eyes from wandering. Hand on the counter in front of him you lean into his space, the smell of maple syrup hits his nose — sickly sweet he wants nothing more then to close his eyes and bask in it. Your warm gaze lands on his face and it feels like he’s looking up at the bright sun on a summer day. You didn’t look like you belonged here.

Realizing he hadn’t answered you, he clears his throat trying to shake his nerves. He was never good at talking to girls, especially not girls that looked like you and definitely not under these circumstances.

“You’re new around here.” You grin eyeing the slightly disheveled boy in front of you.

“Do you have burgers?” Blurting out his question he closes his eyes embarrassed when he realizes he’s ignored your observation too caught up to think straight. “Sorry.”

Laughing sweetly you take the menu from his hands finger tips brushing against his, the connection making his cheeks blossom pink.

“Sure do, how do you want it?” Pulling out your pocket sized note book from your apron, his eyes catch the red of your nail polish and for some reason it makes his cheeks deepen to match.

“Medium is —uh, is fine.” Scratching the back of his neck he watches the way your pen swoops gracefully against the paper.

“Fries okay?” Looking up at him from under your lashes his breath hitches loud enough for you to hear, the reaction making you bite your lip in a smile.

“Yeah, fries are, fries are great.” Exhaling loudly he gives you a tight lipped smile wishing he could bury his head in the sand.

“Anything to drink?” Ripping the page you turn around slipping it through the small window of the kitchen behind you. The line cook grabs it with a curt nod before you bring the full force of your stare back to him.

“Water is fine.” The sentence is short but he gets it out with out a hitch at least. Rubbing his hands nervously on his thighs he catches the mischievous glint dance around your eyes.

A small knowing smirk plays on your lips before walking away to the drink station at the other end of the long bar.

“Real fucking smooth.” Eddie grumbles to himself catching the attention of the trucker seated next to him.

“If that makes you feel any better son, I think she thought it was cute.” The gruffness of his voice reminds him of his Uncle, the few moments with you had made him almost forget about why he was here in the first place. Guilt slowly starting to eat away at him as he tries to re focus his thoughts, the familiar sting coming back to his eyes.

Before Eddie has a chance to respond your sliding the glass in front of him, eyes never leaving his as you pull out a straw from your front pocket. This time he’s strong enough to hold your gaze even if the red on his cheeks spreads to his neck.

“It’ll be like 15 minutes, Freddy’s pretty quick.” Nodding back towards the kitchen, Eddie tries to listen to you but he’s too focused on the sheen of your lip gloss. A sharp elbow to his side snaps him out of his trance, his new friend trying to help him out.

“Oh— okay, thanks.” Dropping his eyes down he brings all of his attention to unwrapping his straw, silently scolding himself for being even less smooth then the first interaction. The only reason he knows you’ve walked away is the loss of sweetness that settles in the air in your presence.

Shoving the straw in his drink, the ice clinks loudly against the glass before taking a big gulp. When the water washes over his tongue in a wave of rejuvenation, he closes his eyes humming in satisfaction sucking more then half the glass down before pushing it away with a wipe of his mouth. He can feel what the needed hydration does for him in his finger tips, his brain function starting to sharpen.

Chocolate eyes finding you again, he watches the way you move around the restaurant with ease. Everything you were doing seemed second nature, bending down to meet the kids at eye level he watched the families stare up at you with the same adoration on their faces. It wasn’t just him you effected like that, it was every one.

Cleaning off one of the booths, he watches you bend over the table — selfishly letting his eyes wander your body in the way he’d fought off before. Expertly stacking the dirty plates in your arms, you shove the cash tip they’d left in your apron. Turning on your heel you catch his stare, stopping for a brief moment before your lips tug up in a way that makes him avert his gaze — but even he knew it was too late. He’d been caught.

Closing his eyes when you walk by he inhales deeply, chasing the comfort your scent brings. You smelt like Sunday mornings with his mom, the only childhood memories he was fond of. He watched as you disappeared through the double doors of the kitchen, loud voices greeting you once you were hidden in the back. It was obvious you’d been here for awhile. The urge to try and piece together your story is a welcoming distraction from his own.

You aren’t back there long before you push back through with a toothy grin, shaking your head in amusement. An irrational hint of jealousy settles deep in his gut at whoever was making you laugh like that. The high pitch ding of the kitchen bell brings his attention back to the small window, a burger and fries so warm he could see the steam coming off the bun sit waiting for you to collect. Brain going empty he can feel himself start to salivate, his hunger taking front and center in his mind now.

Too focused on his food he has better self control of his eyes when you go to grab it. Sliding the plate in front of him Eddie mumbles a thank you before snatching the burger, ignoring the way it heats under his finger tips.

Taking a giant bite he immediately opens his mouth at the shock of the burn, his initial reaction to spit it out is stopped when he looks up to see you watching him with crossed arms as you lean against the back counter.

“I would have told you to give it a minute, but I thought that was obvious.” Teasing him, Eddie fans his open mouth searching for reprieve only swallowing it when the pain subsides. Taste buds inflamed and seared he takes another gulp of water basking in the way it soothes his mouth.

“Sorry, I haven’t really eaten all day.” Grabbing a fry he dunks it into the small ceramic cup filled with ketchup before tossing it into his mouth. Curious eyes land on yours making him wonder what’s keeping your attention as he eats with out manners.

“So, what are you running from?” Choking on his food at your question his eyes go wide, maybe the news had made it’s way over here.

“W-what do you mean?” Swallowing loudly his appetite suddenly disappears.

“I mean, I’ve never seen you before. People either move here to run from something or they’re just passing through.” You shrug as if your question was nonchalant. “So are you a runner or a wanderer?”

“What are you?” Eddie counters back arching a brow before taking another sip of water.

The smirk you give him is almost devilish when you push yourself off the counter invading his space again. The smell he can’t get enough of swirling around him in a dizzying effect.

“I’m a runner.” There’s something hidden behind your eyes that he can’t decipher when you give him your answer unashamed. “I told you mine, it’s your turn now.”

Of course you weren’t from here, how could you be?

“Runner.” He says simply already nervous he shared too much. Averting his eyes he plops another fry in his mouth before he remembers that this 15 dollar meal was gonna put a significant hole in his remaining funds.

Looking back up from his food he sees you’re already half way down the bar walking he hasn’t even asked you about the Now Hiring sign dangling from the window.

“Hey! — I mean wait.” Eddie’s outburst catches you and half the diners attention and despite his embarrassment he doesn’t miss the way your lips curve up when you make your way back to him.

“Yes?” Raising your eyebrows in question you plant both hands on the counter top in front of him leaning forward a stance that keeps his Eddie swimming.

“I saw your help wanted sign in the window.” Clearing his throat for more confidence “How would a runner apply for said job?”

“You haven’t even told me your name, and you don’t even know what we’re hiring for.” All valid points leave your mouth and he nods with a scratch of his head.

“It’s Eddie, Eddie Henderson.” He said it once and now he just has to roll with it, he’ll apologize to Dustin if he ever sees him again. “I’m not picky, I’ll do anything. Just in desperate need for some cash.”

“Well Eddie Henderson, I guess that means you’re planning on staying here long enough to get work huh?” Tongue poking the side of your cheek he can tell there’s ideas bouncing around in your head.

“Yeah, for a little bit.” Eddie didn’t want to tell you that his time here was numbered in the single digits or that he needed the work so he wouldn’t become completely homeless in the next few days while he ran from the law.

Blowing out a loud breath, you drum your hands on the counter before turning around towards the white board behind you with various names and schedules scribbled on it. He wondered which was you. Grabbing an application from the stack that was pinned on the board you turn back around around pulling a pen from your pocket. Clicking it open you set it down for him to fill out.

Eddie wastes no time in scribbling out his fake information, chest swelling with excitement. He didn’t think it would be this easy and despite your stare making him nervous he could feel his own smile pull at his lips just for a moment.

“I’m just gonna need an ID to show my boss.”

The sentence leaves your mouth and Eddie wants to fucking scream, his grip on the pen becoming so hard he was close to snapping it in half. It was an issue at the motel why wouldn’t be an issue here? It’s not like he didn’t have one, it just had all of his real information on it. Information that had the potential to get him caught.

“I- I don’t have one.” It’s quiet when it leaves his mouth voice shaking and defeated. Meeting your eyes again he notices how they soften as if you could read his mind.

“You moved to a new town without any ID?” You question is gentle when it comes out watching the way his shoulders slump. The first smile you’d seen grace his handsome features slowly fading away.

“I’m afraid I can’t give this to him with out some kind of proof as to who you are.” It’s lame when it comes out of your mouth and you wish it could be different when you watch his big doe eyes glass over.

“It’s fine, I’ll figure something out. I appreciate the help none the less.” Eddie gives slight nod pushing the application away, his brain already starting to reel with no back up plan lined up. He feels fucking stupid.

Unsure how to comfort the cute mysterious stranger you shove your pen back in your pocket giving him your most apologetic look. The air shifting into something that felt like you should give him privacy— you walk away as he digs for his wallet.

Throwing a twenty on the table, he’s too embarrassed to even ask for the discount. He takes one last big bite of his burger before goes to stand up, the sudden urge to sleep becoming over powering with the hope a better idea would come to him tomorrow.

“Hey, actually.” Your honeyed voice drips through his very obvious despair.

Stopping him before he had a chance to leave, Eddie’s chestnut eyes meet yours in question.

Biting at your bottom lip, he can tell your nervous to ask him whatever was bouncing around in your head.

“Do you know anything about cars?” The thought of your late grandmothers car sitting motionless in your drive way comes to mind and how desperate you were for a pair of working wheels.

“I mean I’m no mechanic, but I can do the basics.” He offers back with a shrug.

“Good enough for me, I live by the beach not far from the motel down the road, it’s a shitty yellow house you can’t miss it. I’ve got a car you can come look at tomorrow, if you think you can fix it I’ll hire you myself.” Eddie doesn’t know why you’re being so nice to him but he’s not going to turn you down the offer. Even if he can’t fix it, he sure as shit was going to figure out how.

“Alright, sure yeah, I’ll come by.” Trying to contain his excitement the smile you’d already missed comes creeping back to his face.

“Perfect, I’ll see you around 10? I’ve gotta work at 4 so that should be plenty of time for you to come take a look yeah?” Not wanting to tease that six hours is plenty of time to do a normal check up on a car he just nods instead.

“I’ll be there at 10.” With a nod of his head and the first genuine smile on his face in days, he pushes back out into the developing storm.

——

Head swirling with the events of the day the cheap motel bed moans under his weight as he stares up at the water marks on the ceiling tile. The feathers of the pillows underneath him bring back the heaviness of his eyelids as all the muscles in his body finally relax. The fear of sleep slowly slipping to the back of his mind when the softness of your smile replays on a loop behind closed eyes.

——-

Taglist: @newlips @bimbobaggins69 @munsonology @triplethreat77 @edsforehead @manda-panda-monium @emotionaldreamer @eddiesprincess86 @micheledawn1975 @lil-graveling @b-irock @munsonmunster

If I missed anyone please let me know!

#eddie munson #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson smut #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #eddie x you #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x y/n #eddie munson series #eddie munson slow burn #joseph quinn

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princessofmarvel · 1 year

Text

Love Story

summary | renfield falls for the vampire hunter sent to kill his boss

pairing | robert montague renfield x van helsing!fem!reader!

wc | 1.5k

genre | fluff!

warnings! | this is not really proof read yet, but other than that, nothing that i can think of, lol

requested? | yes! i combined two requests the best that i could since they were for the same character and song! i hope that you all enjoy it! and, if you have requested something, i promise that i am getting to them!

authors note | i loved these ideas! keep sending them in for the swift series! And as always, I do I have really bad OCD that causes me to write in some random capitalization, and punctuation, But I think that we don't have to worry about that in this fic lol. And let me know if there are any mistakes, but please be kind!

You had just landed in New Orleans. Your family is sending you to take out the most notorious vampire known to man, Dracula. Being a Van Helsing, you had trained your whole life for this very moment. You beat out everyone in your family for this opportunity.

Your family had found out where his location was, and sent you immediately. You made your way through the parking lot before being stopped by a voice.

“Miss? May I help you?” Said the voice. You spun around fast to find a young man with brown hair. He seemed to be around your age. You thought that he may be one of two things. He was either lost or another vampire that you would have to kill.

“I’m fine, thanks” You said as you continued forward. You were almost to the door before he jumped in front of you.

“Miss, I don’t think you should go in there.”

“Sir, I have a job to do, If you would please move.”

“As do I, and I truly can not let you though.”

“Then you will have to make me.” You said as you straightened your back to him, and placed your hand on your stake.

“Miss, I can assure you that you would rather not.” He said. The moment he looked away, you took your chance and in one punch knocked him out.

You felt something was up once you got a better look at him. Yes he could pass as a vampire, but with his mouth slightly open, you could tell there were no fangs. You decided to take him back to your hotel room and get some answers.

Renfield wakes up, dizzy at first and then he notices the woman holding a crossbow of stakes at his head “Woah! Woah! Miss, I’m not one of them! I swear!”

“Then who the hell are you?” You ask, not lowering your weapon

“I’m Robert Montague Renfield” He answers. “Please lower your weapon.” “Renfield? The Renfield? That's not possible, you should be over 100 by now.” You said while lowering your weapon some.

“I promise I’m not lying, why else would I have been there?” He says. You stare at him for a moment. He seems like he is telling the truth. “I’ll prove it, feed me a bug and my eyes will turn yellow.”

“If I feed you one of these and you attack me, I can guarantee that you will be dead within a second. You hear me?” He nods, and you pick up his tin, and feed him one. You watch as his eyes do change to yellow, and he breaks his ropes.

“See?” He says as he rubs his wrist.

“Why am I not dead?” You ask as you head to the fridge, leaving him confused.

“I beg your pardon?” He asks, following you, confused.

“You kill anyone that comes for Dracula, so why am I still alive.” You watch as he frowns, as you sip your soda.

“Please, do not remind me, I hate myself for it.” This shocks you as you stare at him.

“What do you mean, don’t you do it on your own free will?” You ask, sitting down at your table.

“Of course not.” He says while he sits across from you.

“You mean to tell me that you don’t do this because you want to protect Dracula? You say, offering him a soda as you do.

“I don’t….not anymore at least, if I could get out, I would, he just won’t let me go.” He says while looking down.

“Wait, you are bound to him?” You ask. You had always heard the stories of Renfield tearing over vampire hunters to shreds, it just does not make sense to you.

“Yes, I am. I do want to be but he will not let me leave.”

“Alright, I will help you, as long as you help me.” You say as you stand from the table.

“Wait- What do you mean, you will help me?” He asks while standing too.

“I need to kill your boss. Help me do so, and we both will get what we want.”

“You would do that for me?” He asked, his eyes full of hope, while making your heart swell.

“It would be cruel of me not to.” You say as you smile.

Over the next few weeks, you and Renfield meet up every day while trying to come up with plans on how to get rid of Dracula.

You walk into your hotel room the next day waiting for Renfield, only to find Dracula sitting at my table.

“So this is the woman that plagues Renfields mind?” He says as you put your crossbow of stakes down onto the counter. “Allow me to introduce myself” “I already know who you are.” You say as you say while staying far enough away so you could attack if needed.

“Then introduce yourself to me, I would love to put a name with the face that he always thinks about” He said, like he was not asking.

“My name is (Y/n) Van Helsing” You said with a smirk. You knew he would know the name.

“Ugh, are they still making those?” He said while standing, “Why have you Van Helsings never stopped, Do you know how many of your kind I have killed?”

“Why are you here?” You asked while taking a slight step closer to him. “Are you gonna kill me?”

“I should, and perhaps I will.” He said, and in a flash he grabbed her neck and pushed her against the wall. “Maybe I will take pity on you? Kill you quicker than your ancestors”

He is taken aback by the laughter that comes from you next. “Why are you laughing? Is this some kind of joke to you? Losing your life?”

“You won’t, can’t kill me.” You say in a laugh

“And why is that?” He asked, getting closer to intimidate you.

“You know why, If you kill me, Renfield will find out, and blame you, and then you will never be able to control him again.” You say as you jerk his hand off of your throat.

“Stay away from Renfield, are we clear?” He said while making his way for the door, he left before he could hear your answer.

When Renfield came by later that day to see the marks on your neck from his hand, he was done, and he was ready to get rid of Dracula as fast as he could.

It was a month later when Renfield and you finally had killed Dracula, you were in your hotel packing up to go home when there was a knock at your door, when you opened the door, you found Renfield standing in front of you.

“I just wanted to see you one last time before you left, Miss Van Helsing” He said with a sad smile on his face.

“How many more times do I have to tell you to just call me (Y/n)” You said while inviting him in.

“Would you like some help?” He asked while taking a look around the place, noticing that it had become plain again.

“No thank you, You know I was just starting to get comfortable here in New Orleans.” You say with a sigh.

Renfield grabs her hand while she is packing “Please don’t go” he says in a small voice.

“Renfield I-” You look up and his eyes are already looking into yours.

He leans in and kisses you while he places a hand on your face gently. The kiss is gentle, and nervous, but full of need. When Renfield pulls away he immediately starts apologizing. “I am so sorry-” But before he could finish you pulled him back in, taking the air out of his lungs.

“You really want me to stay?” you say as you two pull away from each other.

“Yes,” He says out of breath.

“I will have to think about it” You say to him. Knowing that with your job, you will have to talk to your family about this first.

Renfield was starting to lose hope that you would return. It had been months since he heard from you last. A knock at his door took him out of his misery, especially when he opened the door to see one special vampire hunter standing there.

“Surprise” you say while pulling him in for a hug. You had to make some arrangements before you came back, but once you did, your family set you up with your own house in New Orleans for you to move into.

Renfield hugged you as tight as he could. “I am so happy you came back.” He mumbled into your neck.

“Well, I came back because I wanted to go out with a certain ex-slave of Draculas, any idea on who that could be?” You said with a smirk, teasing him.

“I have no idea, Will you tell me more about him?” He said as he pulled away to look at you.

“I will over dinner, how does that sound?” You say while looking up into his eyes while smiling.

“That sounds absolutely wonderful.” He says while pulling you into his apartment, and shuts the door

#renfield #renfield imagine #renfield fanfic #renfield x reader #renfield fluff #robert montague renfield #r.m. renfield #renfield fic #renfield movie #nicholas hoult #nicholas cage #ben shwartz #awkwafina

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chaotic-super · 3 months

Text

For Her Sake - Chapter 19

AO3 Link

Kara rushes to take a box out of Alex’s hands. Despite being told that she shouldn’t be doing any heavy lifting, she’s still doing her best to make the day more difficult by having everyone keep an eye on her so they can snatch boxes out of her hands as she tries to carry them into the new apartment.

“Alex, can you please stop? This is hard enough without us having to babysit you. I know you don’t like to feel like you’re not pulling your weight, but you can still do plenty of work just by pointing your finger at where everything can go.”

“So you can rearrange it later? No thanks. I’m going to go and start unpacking Lori’s things.” Alex hands over the box to Kara and stalks off with a scowl. She really does get grumpy when she can’t help out the way she wants. At least the others didn’t hear her little tantrum because they are outside getting more boxes and furniture from the van that Lena so kindly arranged for them to get so they can move everything into their new apartment.

Kara sighs and sets the box down atop the coffee table so she can find the label scratched onto the side of it with a sharpie. ‘Kara bedroom’. “Ok.” She mumbles to herself, heaving it back up and heading to what is going to be her new bedroom.

This is only the third box set down against one wall and the second she’s taken in there herself, but her heart flutters as she steps inside. It’s been a long while since she’s had her own space. Of course, she loves her sister and her daughter, and she can’t complain about their living situation before, but having this room will be hers, just hers. That feels like magic.

Not to mention the fact that she’s going to have her own bed too. They have had to take out another loan so they can get beds and furniture, but even Alex wasn’t too stressed about it, and that’s telling. Having stable jobs has done wonders for calming her anxiety. Kara is keeping the old bed so Alex can have a nice, comfy new mattress to help ease her back on the harder days, something firmer with more support.

“Hey, you. Are you hiding in here?” Lena’s voice breaks her away from her train of thought.

“Sorry, no. I was just thinking, is all.”

Lena sets another box down on the pile, one aptly labelled ‘Kara’s clothes.’

“Penny for your thoughts.” Lena leans against the doorframe idly, her arms crossing over her chest and her eyes dazzling in the light streaming in from the window.

Kara’s lips curl up into a tender smile. “I was just thinking about how far we’ve come. From that other apartment and struggling to so much as put food on the table and the fear that we would be kicked out at a moment’s notice, which I guess did happen, to us getting lucky and finding this place. We both have jobs, Lori’s happy, I’m happy, I’m going to have my own space for the first time in god knows how long. I have my good luck charm of a girlfriend. I couldn’t be happier.”

Lena glides forward, wrapping her arms around Kara’s waist and resting her forehead on her shoulder. “For the record, you make me very happy too. I’m so proud of you guys for doing all of this.”

“Lena, you caused all of this. We couldn’t have done it without you. We owe it all to you.”

“I don’t think that’s true. I might have helped a little, but you would never have gotten this far if you didn’t have the drive and the love you do. Hell, you got the job at Reign yourself. Sam would have never hired you if you didn’t fit the bill for the staff she needed, and I wouldn’t have hired Alex without her expertise. You’ve got to give yourself more credit.”

“I can give myself credit whilst acknowledging how much you’ve changed my life for the better and being immensely grateful that I met you.” Kara nuzzles her nose into Lena’s hair briefly before leaning back and pressing her lips to Lena’s for a brief moment. She can scarcely believe that she can actually do that now.

Lena shakes her head at her fondly. “One day, I’ll get you to take a compliment.”

“I look forward to that day.” Kara presses another kiss to soft, red lips before pulling Lena to the door by her hands. “Come on, let’s go grab the rest of the boxes, I want to hurry so we can go furniture shopping.”

“I thought you were going to wait and do that in a few days once you’ve unpacked a bit.”

Kara shrugs. “Originally, yeah. We were going to wait until after payday, but then we realized that we still only have one bed and we want to get everything set up so we took out a little loan that we think we can pay off within a couple of months. Lori is super excited about having her own room, so it felt harsh to move in but tell her she can’t stay there because we haven’t bought her a bed yet.”

Lena nods along. “You don’t have to justify anything to me, but I think that sounds like an excellent plan. Besides, it’s probably a good idea to get it all while you have the van at your disposal. I dread to think what it would look like trying to fit anything more than a nightstand in Winn’s car.”

Kara points her finger at Lena. “That’s a very good point.”

“Ok, let’s go and get the rest of the stuff inside so we can go and do that.” Together they start heading out of Kara’s room, but as they pass Lori’s room, Lena spots Alex sitting cross-legged on the floor. “Hey, I’ll catch up in a minute, ok?”

“Sure,” Kara replies.

Lena ducks inside, taking up a similar position against the doorframe to earlier. “What’s up, buttercup?”

“I’m just taking a minute.”

“Whilst pouting?”

Alex heaves out a sigh, leaning back into the wall and letting her head thump back into it. “I just thought I would be happier.”

Lena swings the door behind her until it’s almost shut and slides down the wall until she’s seated next to her. “Why aren’t you happy?”

“I don’t know. I expected to be all excited to actually move in and have a bed to myself. To have a proper space again and be back on my feet. Instead, I feel kind of…numb, I guess.”

“That’s ok, you know? Sometimes it’s the expectation that ruins a moment for us.”

Alex tilts her head towards Lena, her mouth twisting to one side as she thinks. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s just because I’ve been too preoccupied thinking about what I could do, all the plans I had for getting everything set up and decorated, that I let my mind run wild, so when we got here and my back and legs started playing up, it kind of burst my bubble.”

Lena rests her hand on Alex’s shoulder, squeezing briefly. “It’s ok to be disappointed, you know?”

“I know. I guess I’m just angry that my disappointment is greater than my joy.”

“Then let’s get your joy levels up.”

“How?”

“We’re going to get the couch out of the van, then you’re going to sit your ass down, get the website up for whichever furniture place is closest and start picking stuff out. We’re going on a shopping spree on my dime. You can put your wallet away and let me help you spruce this place up.”

Alex looks at her, exasperation practically dripping out of every pore. “You know I’m not going to accept that, right?”

“Well, I’m already going to take Lori around the store and let her pick out what she wants. You might as well get in on the fun.”

Raising her eyebrow at Lena in challenge, Alex questions her. “Has Kara said you can spend money on Lori like that?”

“Of course not.”

“And If I was to offer a proposal of you getting Lori’s stuff and one item for me and Kara, would that stop you from trying to buy us more?”

Lena shrugs. “That depends on the item.”

“Dining table?”

“Done. I love having dinner with you guys but I have the cramp I get in my calf when I have to sit around that table.”

Lena stands up and offers her hand to Alex, who takes it and uses it to heave herself up off the floor. “Kara’s going to be pissed when she finds out.”

Brushing her off and throwing a cheeky grin over her shoulder, Lena calls out, “She’ll get over it.”

“Where have Lena and Lori gotten to?” Kara looks around, heaving her cart that has precariously balanced flatpack boxes stacked inside it that are too long and overhang the edges.

Alex shrugs casually. “How would I know?”

“Do you think we should pay for these things first, get them in the van and then come back in so we’re not lugging them around the entire store?” Kara questions.

“That’s a pretty good idea. We can do that and then find the others. I’m sure Winn, Sam and Ruby are meant to be helping us with this stuff too. Everyone got a cart so we could get everything but they’ve all disappeared.”

They go and pay for the one double bed they have stuffed into the cart and a pair of cheap nightstands. There’s still a lot more they could do with getting but this cart is full.

They get it loaded into the van, careful to stack it nicely so everything will fit when they come back with more, before they go back inside with their fingers crossed that they’ll be able to find the rest of the group. The group that they will never go furniture shopping with again.

“I think Lena might have taken her to find a bed and a set of drawers for her room so let’s head over that way.” Kara points in the direction of where she guesses they might be.

“Or we could just keep getting out stuff first. I’m sure they’re fine.” Alex tries to stall her.

Kara ignores her though, not even processing what she just said. “I have a feeling Lori will pick out the most expensive bed there is. We’ll have to deal with a pouty kid later on.”

“I don’t think so. I think she’ll be happy to sleep in her own room so she’ll forget all about it once we’ve got her set up.” Alex taps her arm as she spots something on the end of an aisle. “Hey, glow-in-the-dark stars you can stick onto a ceiling. Shall we get a pack for Lori? I think she’d like them, and it might ease her nerves if she gets anxious sleeping alone for the first time in a long time.”

Kara picks up a pack, checks how many are in there and determines that one pack is plenty. “That’s a really great idea, Alex. I hadn’t even thought about that. Now that you mention it though, I’m expecting her to wake me up, but I’m sure a little cuddle time will be enough to calm her down enough to get her back to sleep.”

Kara is both looking forward to sleeping alone in a real bed and dreading it. In reality, she thinks that she might be the one that is going to struggle with it. She’s not going to admit that to Alex though, she’ll call her a wimp and tell her to enjoy the privacy, which she will also be doing.

Tossing the stars into the cart, they get going again and luckily find Lena and Lori pretty easily. They’re hard to miss with the gigantic cart filled to the brim with stuff and a second cart behind them that Winn is pushing. One is filled with boxes of furniture, and the other holds a mattress and a bunch of smaller items.

“What in the world is going on?” Kara announces her presence with an exclamation of pure shock. “Lena, what’s happening right now?”

Lena looks back at her with her usual calm, suave attitude that isn’t currently doing much to calm Kara’s rapidly beating heart. She can’t afford all of that stuff. Half of it isn’t even necessary, it’s just random bits and bobs that Lori probably picked up on a whim.

“We’re getting stuff to decorate Lori’s room with, and before you panic, it’s on me. I’m determined to become her favourite person and I’m not above using money to take that role.” The joke falls flat with Kara, but everyone else chuckles at the quip.

“Lena, it’s too much.”

“Nope. It’s not and this is going to help some of my favourite people in the long run so I don’t regret it even a little bit.”

Kara shakes her head. “I can’t let you—”

“You’re not letting me do anything. I’m doing it and you’re going to either accept it and be mad at me or accept it and help us build this stuff when we get back to your place.”

“Have you always been this bossy?”

Lena smiles proudly knowing she’s won. “Yep.”

Kara doesn’t want to give in so easily, but Lori is perched on Lena’s hip with a massive grin while Lena smiles down at her like she’s the most adorable thing on the planet, which is kind of is. “Show me what you’ve got then.”

Lori wiggles to get down from where she’s being held so she can run over to Kara and drag her to the first cart. “Look, Mama. Lena’s getting me a princess bed!”

Kara looks down at the picture on the side of one of the boxes and her eyes just about bulge out of her head. “Are we sure this is going to fit in her room? This looks massive.”

Lena reassures her quickly. “Yes, I measured her room before we left. I actually measured all of the bedrooms because I figured you guys would forget.”

“We did,” Alex announces proudly, clapping Lena on the back as she passes her to peer into the cart Winn is leaning over while he yawns, not caring much for the shopping trip and wishing they would have let him wait in the van.

“I was going to get a normal bed, but given the fact that it’s a small room, I thought this would be better.”

Kara takes another look at the bed and has to admit that Lena has a point. It’s a raised bed with storage built beneath it on one side and empty space beneath it on the other side that is covered with a curtain that makes it look like a princess’ castle. It’s perfect for Lori and will solve their space issues. It completely negates their need for any other storage because there’s a wardrobe on one side with a couple of drawers. They can get a toy chest or something to go in the empty space and maybe a little set of shelves or something too. It’s perfect and very very expensive. It’s definitely out of her price range. “You’re sure?” Kara checks again.

“Certain,” Lena confirms. “I think we should get a little beanbag chair for beneath the bed so she can hang out in there.”

“That’s a good idea. I’m getting that though. Plus more storage for the thousands of toys you’ve got in that other cart.”

Lena shakes her head. “No, you’re really not. I’ve got Lori’s room covered.”

“Lena.”

“Kara.”

“Lori!”

Both women look down at the grinning little girl who just wants to be included and burst into a round of giggles. Lena swings her back up onto her hip and wriggles her fingers against her smile to draw a burst of laughter out of her. “Hey, Lori? You don’t mind if I spoil you a little, do you?”

Lori shakes her head quickly and Lena pins Kara with a look that screams, ‘I win’.

“That’s not surprising.” Kara’s shoulders sink as she fully gives in to the fact that Lena is about to buy everything Lori could ever wish for just because she can.

They keep going, Lori occasionally pointing at things and Lena offering up others before the little girl even sees them. Half of this stuff will end up in the living room because there’s no way all of these toys will fit in her bedroom.

Once they leave the kids' section, Kara sighs in relief. Alex already had to go and get a third cart for the storage unit Lena insisted on getting, the beanbag chair, and a bunch of other random things.

“This is it, right?” Kara asks, sounding almost desperate. “No more?”

“Well…” Lena trails off, now feeling a little guilty at seeing that her buying all these things makes Kara feel a little uncomfortable. “I promised Alex a dining table, but I swear that I’ll stop after that.”

The desperate look is replaced by one of confusion, her eyebrows pulling together and her lips curling down. “Alex asked for a dining table?”

“Well, I offered. I love having dinner with you guys.”

“But?”

“But my legs hurt sitting on the floor. I need a proper chair. I don’t care if that makes me stuck up either.” Lena goes straight into defence mode, only stopping when she sees Kara trying to hold back her laughter. “It’s not funny.”

“it is a little bit.”

“No.”

Kara pinches her fingers together but leaves a tiny gap. “A little?”

Lena opens her mouth to argue but doesn’t bother. She copies Kara’s hand movement before turning and pushing the cart away. “Hey, where the hell are Sam and Ruby?”

Kara shrugs. “I think they ditched us to do their own thing a while back.”

“I shouldn’t be surprised at this point. I was hoping they would come join us with their carts.”

“I already bought some stuff. Alex and I took it out to the van and then came back in so we wouldn’t be lugging it about.”

Lena nods approvingly. “That’s a good plan. Let’s go do that, and then I can fill these carts back up.”

“You can what?”

“Stand by and not buy anything else.” Lena huffs. “Except maybe—”

“No.”

Kara runs a hand down her face, harsh and uncoordinated. If she thought going shopping with the group was stressful, then she was sadly very, very wrong. This is stressful. Putting together furniture when someone else is trying to put together something else next to her, messing up her screws with theirs, and getting mad when they can’t find the screwdriver they tucked into their pocket ten minutes ago is one of the worst experiences of her life.

She’s certain that Lena had the right idea when they got back. She immediately had everyone help her take Lori’s bed into their room and then promptly banished everyone out of there so she could work on it herself, the door only opening so she can occasionally toss out the boxes when they’re empty or to use the hallway as extra space when she has particularly large parts floating around that she doesn’t need yet.

“Kara, have you taken my—”

“Under your knee. Stop accusing me.” Kara cuts Winn off, trying to figure out if the sweat dripping down her temple is more annoying than being accused of theft for the sixth time in a two-hour window.

“Oh yeah, thanks.” Winn grabs it, no hint of an apology in sight.

Huffing a little, Kara pushes herself to her feet. Stretching out her back as she stands and limping away because of the rush of pins and needles to her foot, she heads for the kitchen so she can grab a drink. She needs a minute away from the group before she throws something at them, something she’s only preventing herself from doing at the minute by reminding herself that they can’t afford to have to repurchase anything if it breaks.

Letting her eyes lazily wander over the drink options, she freezes when she sees a six-pack of beer sitting front and centre. She has no idea who bought it or when it got put in there, obviously sometime today, but she can’t pinpoint when, but she needs to know who did it so she can make sure they don’t do it again.

There are three missing from the pack, so she decides to do a little snooping and stealthily eyes the room of people in search of the bottles. One is found easily, right next to Alex, and another is on the floor just a few feet away from Winn, but the other is nowhere to be seen. Dread sits heavy on her chest.

Grabbing two sodas, she aims right for the hall to find out for sure.

Kara has to climb over the mountain of cardboard to get to the door of Lori’s room, and when she gets there, she knocks firmly. She doesn’t want to just open the door in case there’s anything on the other side that she could potentially knock over, so instead, she takes caution in her stride and waits for a response like a civilized human being.

The door cracks open a second later and when Kara sees Lena’s face, she has her answer.

“Lena?”

“I’m so sorry.” Lena turns away from her, her hands covering her face as she stoops over, tears freely running down her cheeks. “I know I shouldn’t have done it, I couldn’t stop myself.”

“Lena.” Kara tries to get her to turn back around, but Lena is too busy sobbing into her hands and visibly despising herself.

Kara clicks the door shut behind her, careful not to close it too harshly so she doesn’t startle Lena. She looks ready to be pushed over the edge into a panic attack as it is, which won’t help anyone.

The bottle is half empty and has been propped on the windowsill. Kara stares at it for a moment, debating on whether or not she should go and take it out of here, but the chances are that doing so would make the situation worse, that it would make Lena believe that she’s judging her.

“Lena. It’s ok.”

“It absolutely is not.” Lena swings around to look into her eyes. Teary green meeting worried blue. “I shouldn’t h-have done that.” She loses her words to a sob.

“I should have made sure nobody brought alcohol here, I’m sorry.” Kara tries, moving forward to gently skirt her hands over Lena’s forearms.

Lena shakes her head with a ferocity Kara isn’t expecting. “It’s not your fault. If I were strong enough, this wouldn’t have happened. I should have been able to resist it. I should have—”

“You shouldn’t have had to do anything.”

“I didn’t know he was going to bring me beer, I swear.” Lena diverts the conversation, proving that her mind is whizzing at a hundred miles per hour, a million thoughts ricocheting through her mind as she tries to catch up with the situation and figure out what to do now.

Kara frowns. “Who? Winn?”

Lena nods. “Yeah, It’s not his fault though. When he asked if I wanted a drink, I didn’t know he meant alcohol or else I would have turned him down, but when he put the open bottle in my hand and left before I could say anything, well…I couldn’t resist. I was halfway through it before my brain kicked in and I realized I had just ruined weeks’ worth of work. I was doing so well and just ruined it for half a bottle of cheap beer that tastes like ass.”

“Lena. The fact that you stopped says a lot. Come on, you started this whole thing because you didn’t like relying on alcohol, having half a beer whilst hanging out with friends and building furniture isn’t relying on it.”

Lena sighs. “I understand why you would say that, but I don’t think I ever really told you the extent of my drinking.”

Lena moves to sit down, choosing the only properly clear space in the room, the area beneath the bed, which is pretty much fully constructed, just the doors to the built-in wardrobe left to be added along with the little steps up to the bed. Kara follows her, sitting beside her as their backs press against the wall.

“It was worse than I said originally. I was too embarrassed to tell you how bad it got. I was drinking a lot. As soon as I got home, I was drinking. If I ever had the odd day off, I was drinking. Hell, sometimes, I was drinking at work. I had a cart there and everything. Jess got rid of it for me, but I know that if she didn’t, I would have kept drinking.”

“So, you’ve come a long way. That’s a good thing.”

“Kara, if I can’t resist it when it’s offered, I won’t be able to be sober. I just spent weeks just about keeping myself together, and I gave up too easily. In your four-year-old’s bedroom no less. You should be mad.”

Kara shrugs. “Sure, I’m not particularly happy anyone is drinking in Lori’s room, but I don’t blame you, Lena. I’m not mad. Maybe a little tiny bit disappointed if you really want the honest truth, but this is a journey for you. A little setback isn’t going to stop you, and now you know how terrible it feels to fail, you can use that to keep you from doing so again.”

“It’s not that easy.” Lena angles her body away from Kara, ashamed and downtrodden.

“Addiction never is.” Kara scoots closer until their thighs touch. “I’m not about to condemn you, Lena. You should know that I will support you in whatever way I can. Yes, I have Lori to think about, but you’ve made it very clear that I don’t have to worry about you putting her in danger. If the time comes when I do become worried about that, that’s a conversation that will have to happen, but at this moment in time, I think you’re trying your best and just need a little more help to reach your goals.

“Stay tonight, and tomorrow we can look into what could help. Maybe therapy or AA meetings. This is your journey and we have to find a system that works for you, not one built out of shame or anger. Instead, we’ll build one out of compassion and support. That’s what’s going to help.”

Tears openly roll down Lena’s face. “Thank you.”

“Any time.”

“I just feel so dumb for doing that. I thought I was better than that.”

Kara reaches over and tangles their fingers together. “You are better than that. One action doesn’t define a person. What defines you is what you do now.”

“I’m not drinking again.”

“And I’ll be here supporting you. So will Alex and Sam and everyone out there. You just have to let them in. If you don’t want to tell them, that’s fine too. Either way, this apartment has a new blanket rule: no alcohol allowed.”

Lena sags against the wall, leaning over and resting her head against Kara’s shoulder. “That’s not fair to the others, especially Alex. She deserves to be able to drink in her own home if she wants to.”

“I’ll speak to her. She doesn’t drink often anyway, so I don’t think she’ll mind only drinking at Winn’s place instead.”

“I’m so glad I met you.” Lena nuzzles in closer.

“Believe me, the feeling is mutual.”

“Are you ready to see your room, Lori?” Kara asks cheerfully.

“Yes!” Lori jumps up excitedly and goes to run to her mom but Alex catches her, stopping her from doing so because there’s still a mess in the living room she doesn’t want her to trip over. Instead, she picks her up and sets her on her hip until they are in the hallway, which Kara and Lena have already cleaned up.

After their conversation, Kara sent Lena to clean herself up a little while she started tidying up before they finished the bed and the rest of Lori’s room together.

Kara didn’t know the true extent of all the things Lena bought for Lori until they were putting it all up and she’s been a cross between horrified and amused about the whole thing ever since. Logically, she knows that buying all of these things isn’t going to set Lena back any. She has more money than Kara can even fathom, but there’s still a level of guilt there. She isn’t with Lena for her money and she doesn’t want Lena to ever feel like she is. On the other hand, this is for Lori, who deserves the world. Kara can see how wonderful of an opportunity this is for Lori and can’t turn down Lena’s generosity when it helps Lori. Not that she thinks Lena would let her turn it down if she tried.

Lori grabs Lena’s hand as she passes her, which visibly eases the tension in her shoulders, and Kara is glad for the fact. She may have been able to help calm Lena a little and to reassure her that she’s not going anywhere, that she’s here for her, but there’s just something about the unconditional love a child can bring that Kara can see is healing Lena’s soul.

“Come on then, Ms Lori. I think you’ll like it. We’ve done our very best to make it a room fit for a princess such as yourself.” Lena pins a smile on her face, one that just barely reaches her eyes, but Kara doesn’t care. It’s progress and she’ll take it.

Kara grins as Lena opens the door annoyingly slowly to get Lori to pout a little before she opens it fully and allows her to see her new room. The space that is all hers, something she hasn’t had since before the accident, something she barely remembers, if at all.

“Do you like it?” Kara asks, already knowing what the answer will be.

Lori squeals. “I love it! Mama, I’ve got a castle bed!”

“Yes, you do, baby.” Kara strokes her hair, watching as Lori dives onto her bed, climbing the steps at a pace she didn’t know she could manage.

“Mama, Lena, look!” Lori bounces gently, peering down over the raised side that’s made to protect her in case she rolls in her sleep. “Look at the pretty stars!” She points up at the ceiling, the glow-in-the-dark stars already starting to shine as the daylight fades, marking how long they’ve been working on the apartment.

Lena moves closer to the edge of the bed, looking up at the stars. “Don’t tell your mama I said this, but those are my favourite, and she got you those.” She stage whispers, making Lori giggle.

“Me too, me too.” Lori laughs, holding her arms out for Lena to lift her off the bed so she can get to exploring the underneath part of the bed where the beanbag chair and toy storage is. Lena even managed to find a kid’s bookcase in a soft pink that matches the curtain perfectly for all of her books.

Kara wraps her arm around Lena’s waist, pulling her closer as Lori switches to completely ignoring them in favour of her new toys. She was unhappy when she was told earlier that she would have to wait until her room was done to play with them because they needed the space to build, so she’s making up for lost time. Kara does not doubt that she’ll have to pick Lori up off the floor, where she’ll pass out in a river of toys later.

Lowering her voice, Kara rests her head against Lena’s. “I know you think today has been a bust but look at her. Look how happy she is. You did that. I’m hoping I can make you as happy as she is one day. With how much crap we’ve faced since we’ve known each other, I think we’ve got a pretty solid foundation so far.”

“Me too, but just for the record, we might have only just started dating but so far, you’ve made me very happy.”

“You’ve made me happy too.”

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#supergirl #supercorp #kara danvers #lena luthor #kara x lena #fanfic #cw supergirl #supercorp endgame #supercorp fanfic #chaoticsuper

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geminibsworld · 5 months

Text

flower

summary: fb!tom tries not to fall for his fwb

warning: NO MINORS, 18+ sexual content, pinv(girl is on bc), cussing, tension, maybe mentions or use of drinking and smoking, angst, fluff, mostly sexual lollll, romance obvi, mental health/meds, slow burn, slight violence, slight tw, daddy!kink (sorry lol)

part 2 is called princess peach (there will be many parts) check my masterlist

the rain smacked against the windows. she sighed, staring ahead whilst listening to suic*de boys. the windshield wipers squeaking loudly, she sighed again. her lilac hair sat on her back, her aqua eyes bright as she stared ahead waiting for the light to turn green so she can start her day. she blew air from her mouth to change the song to superman by Eminem.

the light changed green, she pressed on the peddle and the car moved forward. she thought about how her boyfriend didn't make her feel the way the song made her feel. she wanted to feel the way this song made her feel. she wanted to feel wrecked, withering, ANYTHING. instead her boyfriend was plain vanilla, didn't care if she finished or not. it was quite boring to her. her long manicured nails tapped against the wheel while she was waiting to pull into school. the butterflies and stars tattooed on her hands stared at her.

she pulled into the sad parking lot and parked her car in the back, away from everyone. she didn't have friends, she had a friend and a boyfriend. people didn't like her often enough, everyone says she's a bitch. sure, she could be friendly but people have ruined her spirit for years. her family, old friends, old lovers, these people have ruined things in her life that's made her hate her existence. her white vans below her as she waltzed into the high-school, everyday everyone stares at her. they call her a whore, a slut, cock eater, etc whatever anyone could think of it's been towards her. she was taken out of thought, when someone tall bumped into her and her airpod fell to the ground. the music stopped and she looked up, a tall man with the bluest of blue eyes she's seen and brown wavy hair. she didn't realize she was gawking at him till she heard a laugh.

"I said, I'm sorry. are you alright?" he asked her, eyes peering into her.

she grabbed the pod and mumbled a quick, "yes, thanks."

"how come I've never seen you before?" he asked smirking down at her. she rolled her eyes, of course, she thought.

"I don't know, and I don't care, now excuse I'm going to be late and you've done enough already." she sighed, his brows furrowed his lips parted, his eyes watching her.

she went to walk away, but tom grabbed her wrist and said, "ya know, you have a fat ass right?" he was smirking at her, his plump pink lips parting slightly.

"fuck you, and next time you say something to me I'll fuck you up. don't think I'm scared of no man." she sneered at him, he raised his brows.

the bell went off signaling first period was starting. she cursed under her breath walking away from him. he stared at her imagining what it would be like to be closer with her. he watched her hips sway as she walked, her long lilac blonde hair went down to her ass, he imagined what it would be like to touch her hair. wrapping it around his hand, pulling her head back while plunging into her from the back, her fat ass bouncing against him.

it was lunch, skye sat with her boyfriend and her best friend. she stared ahead as that boy stared back at her from the other table. the chatter going on around her, her boyfriend and best friend going on about the new hunger games movie. his blue eyes pouring into yours, she felt a feeling she'd never felt before. it was in the bottom of her stomach, warm with butterflies.

"skye? you good?" you snapped out of it. she looked up to see her boyfriend, Jessie, staring back at her, his dark brown eyebrows furrowed, brown eyes staring at you.

"yeah, why?" she sighed, blinking. she looked and saw, that boy was gone. she didn't know who he was or why he was staring at her but she wanted no part.

"girl, you're all spacey and shit." Elizabeth, laughed. she flicked her black hair over her shoulder, her tan hand tapped skyes.

"I'm just chilling, why are yall worried? I'm good, just shit on my mind. not important, don't worry." skye grumbled, crossing her arms and leaning back.

"are things bad again? are you off your meds again skye??" Jessie spoke, concern and annoyance lacing his tone.

here we go again. skye sighed, loudly and laid her head down on the cold table. she closes her eyes, and breathes.

"please drop it. I'm fine." skye said in annoyed tone.

suddenly, skye sat up. grabbed her tray of food she barely touched, and walked away. she dumped the tray, and grabbed her airpods. sublime playing as she walked to her next class.

she walked down the hallway and turned a corner, once again bumping into a tall man. both pods fell out, and she looked up at him. he towered over her, she was short already but this made her feel even smaller.

he smirked down at her, noticing her taking all of him in.

"we've got to stop meeting like this, flower." his voice, smooth like honey.

skye scrambled to grab her things whilst ignoring him. she stood up, and began to walk away as he grabbed her uncovered wrist. his large hand warm and calloused. she slightly gasped but cleared her throat to cover it up. she yanked her hand away, and glared at him.

"I don't wanna 'meet you' at all, whoever you are, which by the way, I don't give a fuck. so get out of my way or I'll fuck you up." she began to back up and move around him, going to the left side picking up her pace.

"hey, woah woah wait up!" she heard behind her,' go the fuck away' she grumbled to herself.

he came up and pulled her hair from behind, the feeling it gave her was out of this world. it hurt mostly definitely, but felt so good at the same time. right amount of pressure. his large hand wrapped in her hair, her aqua colored eyes and pink cheeks staring back at him, her pink plump lips a gape.

"huh, interesting." tom let out a laugh, and let go. she cleared her throat, embarrassed.

"d-dont fucking touch me again or I'll cut off your fingers." she cursed to herself noticing the stutter. she had this feeling in the pit of her stomach. she was aching, she'd only know this feeling when she started having sex. that aching, burning, wanting, feeling. she never gets that with Jessie. never, ever.

"you didn't seem to mind all that much, flower." he smirked down at her, he admired how small she was. she was thick where it counted that's forsure, he thought to himself.

skye ignored the feelings she was having and rolled her eyes at him.

"don't fucking call me flower," she seethed, angry he made her feel that way. her boyfriend should make her feel that way, but he doesn't but that doesn't mean she's going to do whatever she wants.

"well, flower," he smirked, "I'm tom blyth, and I think you are so fucking attractive."

she stared blankly at him, then walked away. he followed her, closely. why is he following me? skye was getting annoyed because she made it clear she wasn't interested and dude doesn't get it.

suddenly tom was taken out of a trance, her ass stopped jiggling, and he was looking into skyes eyes. she was upset, aw how cute he thought. they were outside the classroom, the problem was the door was locked. she couldn't escape him, she's going to have to make him go away on her own.

"what the fuck do you want? I've made it literally crystal clear I don't want to know you and I'm definitely not fucking interested in you. I have a boyfriend, and I don't like you." she was clearly pissed off, but tom was too busy scanning all over her.

"unbelievable." she scoffed, "of course you're not listening."

tom laughed, his smile bright, his plump lips etched into a grin.

"of course I'm listening. I heard every word you said, I don't care if you have a boyfriend, flower."

she wanted to hit him, punch him, scratch him, push him, etc. skye has anger issues, no one knows where they came from. she goes into a rage so easily, and she releases it physically. getting off was her favorite way, but unfortunately she's never done it to herself and her boyfriend only helps slightly. skye has pent up rage, she bottles herself up and explodes rather than talk about how she's feeling.

"i hope you get hit by a car when you walk out the school," skye said, anger lacing her voice. she was basically spitting at him.

he leaned forward, his warm breath on her ear, she shivered ever so slightly so he couldn't see, but he still noticed. he smirked before saying, "you can hit me with your car, it would be an honor."

she cleared her throat, seeing the teacher finally headed their way. she stepped back, glaring at tom. he chuckled, putting his hands in his Grey Hoodie pocket.

"Hi, Mr. Garfield. how are you this fine day?" tom asked, smiling kindly at the older man.

"m'okay, how about yourself, Mr. blyth? you're not bothering skye right?" Garfield let out a dry laugh, unlocking the door. skye rushed in finding a seat in the back, away from everyone.

other students began filling the room, tom and Garfield still talking till the bell rang. his tall frame exited their classroom before taking one more glance at skye. her name was skye, I'm still going to call her flower, he thought to himself smirking.

she threw back the shot of tequila, wincing at the stinging. she's at a party with her friend, Elizabeth, she forced her to come to this. skye doesn't mind as long as she can get fucked up in peace.

she threw back a couple more shots, feeling good enough, she made her way to the floor holding Elizabeth's hand. once she pulled her to the middle, they were dancing to some indie song. she Levi shorts riding up higher as she swayed her hips,her hair flipping everywhere. she was laughing and staring up at the ceiling, the floor vibrated and she was alone in the world again. her flannel fell off her shoulder, she whipped her hair around as she danced.

Elizabeth ran off with some guy leaving skye alone. she walked upstairs, to find a bathroom. she climbed the stairs, looking over the railing she saw tom. he was laughing with a bunch of people she'd never seen before. he must be a grade older, she thought.

tom felt eyes on him, he looked at her as skye looked away and scurried up the stairs. she looked hot tonight, very Tumblr looking. suits her hair, he thought.

"I'll be back, gonna find a bathroom," he told his friends, they nodded and continued on as he went up the stairs. he didn't see her anywhere, he passed people and knocked on every door. almost every door locked, when he found one unlocked, he turned the knob and opened it. he had found her, she was sitting on a bed staring out the window, at the night sky.

her flannel was gone, he looked as the wind caused goosebumps on her porcelain skin. he wanted to give her goosebumps, in every way. he wondered what the rest of her looked like, he imagined her porcelain tattooed skin in the sunlight, waking up next to her after making her cum all night. her swollen pink lips, letting out small breaths, her lilac hair eyewhere, spread out on the pillow in knots from his hands.

"leave me the fuck alone" her voice snapped him out of his trance. he almost laughed out loud, she doesn't know him.

"why? you gonna cut my fingers off, flower?" he sneered, his gaze pouring into her. she stared back at him, she had to feel this burning feeling too right?

she blew smoke from her vape out of her mouth.

"I'll cut something off, yeah" she grumbled turning away. he laughed out loud this time, she snapped towards him.

"not joking, asshole," she breathed, annoyed she wasn't alone and wasn't drunk anymore.

"I'd let you do anything you'd want to if it meant you'd touch me," he smirked, "I've heard rumors about you. you're a good fuck and suck, I've heard."

she stood up and put back on her flannel, suddenly feeling embarrassed and needed to cover herself. she crossed her arms, and marched up to him. suddenly, her hand flew to his face, punching him in the eye. she gasped, as he immediately groaned and almost fell.

"oh my God, I-I am s-so sorry," she breathed crouching down in front of him. he sighed holding his right eye mumbling under his breath.

skye immediately felt bad, she hadn't been physical with anyone in a very long time. she goes to therapy for her anger. she never wanted to hurt anyone, ever. she blacks out, and it's not pretty.

"I am so sorry tom," skye sighed, placing her hand on his. he glared at her, before sighing and standing up.

"you know my name?" he asked, looking curiously at her. he pulled his hand away, there was a small bruise by his right eye. his wavy brown hair a mess, slight shadow around his mouth making his lips look even more pinker. she could smell him, he smelt intoxicating. suddenly, she realized she was just breathing in his scent not saying anything.

"u-uh, yeah. I heard at garfields," skye finally breathed out, feeling that feeling again. she wanted nothing more than to have him take her right there, but she couldn't.

he noticed the way she was blushing staring at him. all he could think about was how she smelled like cherries, and vanilla. he wanted to inhale her, in everyway.

"nice to meet you, skye," he smirked, she nodded at him.

"what happened to flower?" she slightly smirked at him, he moved closer to her wanting to touch her ever so slightly. the tension in the room was thick, they both felt it. he leaned down to her ear and said, "which one do you want, princess?"

cold chills spread across her whole body, her lower body started pulsating. she was so turned on for no reason. she wanted him forsure, and he definitely wanted her. but she could never, maybe in a different scenario. but God damn, she was turned on more than ever. her breathing was unsteady, as she took in his smell and how he said princess. she wanted him to take her right then and there, as hard as he could, she had heard rumors that he had a big cock. she got wet at the idea of it, she shook her head.

she stepped back, 2 steps. leaving a safe amount of space since she doesn't trust herself at the moment, she itched her head with her nails before walking towards the door. she looked back at him out of breath, he was watching her. taking all of her in.

"I'll be thinking about those pretty little hands on my cock later," he said, nonchalantly smirking at her reaction.

her eyes widened, before she could respond her cheeks went red. she was soaked, she couldn't help it. she hadn't had sex in weeks, and her boyfriend doesn't satisfy her. he's slow and soft and gentle, not her style at all. she gulped turning towards the door, opening it and running out.

Monday morning. she left the gym in a rush, her legs aching. today was leg day, her shorts rode up her thighs exposing some small tattoos she did herself. she pulled her large hoodie over her, and quickly decided to switch to leggings hefore heading inside the school. she couldn't help how she felt about tom, he is possibly the prettiest man she's ever seen. she touched herself to him all weekend, she quite literally couldn't help it, probably.

tom jerked off every night thinking about her. his large calloused hands, rubbing his cock thinking about the image of her. her body spread out on his bed, imagining what her pale body looked like. he knew her ass was fat, that was obvious. she seemed to have a small chest, and a very tight waist. from what he could tell, she was extremely fit and took care of herself. he liked that. he thought about her face, her plump fat pink lips, letting out small whimpers as he touched her. 'daddy,' she would cry out, he cums at the thought very fast.

he sat in the back of class thinking about her. his cock getting hard, bulging in his sweatpants. "fuck," he mumbled, adjusting himself. he pulled out his phone, scrolling aimlessly to distract himself. he found her on Instagram, he decided to stalk her, just slight stalking the normal.

"insane", he smiled to himself.

"fuck cancer"

"ur mom"

he sighed, she's so gorgeous. her lips would look so pretty around his cock he thought. he turned off his phone before, getting up and leaving the classroom. the bell rang not even a second later, he needed to talk to her .

she sighed, seeing as tom was coming to her and she couldn't do that right now. she's had the worst anxiety all day, she just wants to be alone. he smirked at her, she gulped pink spreading across her face.

they made their way to each other, she kept her face low, hiding with her hood up. he stared at her, she seemed off.

"flower, you seem down today. what's wrong?" his brows furrowed, concern spread across his face. his blue eyes searched hers, for some type of response.

"this is the first time we've talked all day. do you think I'm stupid? please don't act like you give any of a shit, we know you wanna get into my pants," she stated, staring at him with no emotion. he scoffed, why is she always like this?

"I'm trying to check on you, you don't have to be a bitch 24/7" he snapped, skye rolled her eyes walking away. he followed her of course.

"yeah I do, people leave me alone that way," she mumbled, before turning walking out the doors.

he still followed her, he wanted to make sure she was okay.

"I don't want to leave you alone," tom breathed, she leaned against her car, his right arm above her and he looking down at her. she breathed in, his intoxicating smell taking over once again.

he noticed her eyes closing ever so slightly.

"you okay flower?" he asked, his warm breath fanned over her face. she sniffed, before nodding.

"yes, now please move. I want to leave," he obliged. she got in her car, smiling tightly at him before driving off.

she was drunk again, worse than last time a real fucking mess. she was wearing a short black dress that barely covered anything, and ripped tights. the room was spinning and she kept drinking. she was dancing her heart out, when she bumped into someone. she recognized that scent anywhere. it was tom, she turned around.

his fluffy hair in messy waves, the hair had grown in more on his face making him look older. she searched him everywhere, he wore a button up with 4 buttons undone, black jeans,and black converse. his sleeves rolled up at his elbows, she looked at his arms and hands, so veiny and large.

"hey flower," he smirked down at her. she gulped she couldn't do this, not now. she couldn't control herself.

"H-hi," she breathed out finally, he laughed. the room colorful with the speakers shaking the house. she enjoyed seeing the colors, most of all she enjoyed seeing him.

suddenly before the conversation ended, she felt a hand on her back. Jessie, of course.

"Hi baby," you felt lips on your cheek, you watched tom. he didn't react.

"who's this?" Jessie asked, his breath smacking your ear.

"tom, meet Jessie, Jessie meet tom," you gestured to each other, Jessie stuck out his hand but tom ignored him. his eyes stayed on skye for a moment before he smirked and shook his hand.

"nice to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you," tom smirked, teasingly. Jessie didn't even notice, he really thought that could be true.

Jessie beamed, wrapping a protective arm around her waist, she didn't move. tom noticed, he laughed before saying, "does anyone want a drink?"

"oh I would love a drink," skye slurred slightly, tom laughed and decided she'll be fine with no more. he wanted her safe.

"okay anyone but skye," tom smirked again, Jessie laughed.

"man just get her something to drink, shes more relaxed for later," Jessie, smirked, winking at Tom laughing slightly. Tom's chest tighted.

"huh??" he asked, Jessie let go of skye so tom could hear him. Jessie stepped forward Tom's frame much bigger than his, Tom's nostrils flared at this thought.

"she's more relaxed when we have sex, usually when she's drunk I don't even need to ask. I just do," Jessie smirked, laughing. tom didn't think that was funny at all, his flared nostrils and his blue eyes now angry. he stared at Jessie, he wanted to hurt him.

she picked at her ripped jeans in class, anxiously tapping her leg on the ground, her nails scatching her skin slightly, leaving marks. she woke up to Jessie trying to touch her while she was passed out drunk, she screamed and kicked the shit out of him and dumped him on the spot. she was definitely sad but anxious and done.

tom found out about the break up, tom decided to beat the shit out of Jessie after school today. tom decided to ask Jessie to come look at his car, said something was wrong with it before shoving Jessie into the car and kicking his stomach several times finally spitting on him and calling him scum.

he caught skye on the way out, she looked like a mess but she's still beautiful of course.

"hey flower," he smirked uo at her, she nodded.

"Hi tom," she said, blankly. he stared at her, he just wanted to Hug her and make her okay.

"would you like to come over today and watch movies?" tom asked, hopeful it sounded innocent enough. he didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

"I guess, let me go home and change," she said with a tight lipped smile, he smiled to himself.

"cool, here's my phone for your number so I can text you the address or I can come get you?" he said the last part like he was asking her, she took his phone and put in a number.

"I'll drive, don't worry about it," she breathed, leaning her head back against the car seat. tom smiled and nodded.

she pulled up to an apartment, I guess his family and him live in an apartment she thought to herself. she drove to the building number before turning off her engine. the snow crunched beneath her feet when she walked to his building. his door was on the first floor, she sighed and knocked on the door.

the door swung open, stood there was tom, in a red hat and underwear. tight black underwear. it's cold outside, why is he still huge?

she didn't realize she was staring at him till his hand waved in front of her face. she looked up at his, standing there he leaned against the door on the left side, arms crossed, smirking and admiring her for totally checking him out,

"flower," he smirked, the hair around his mouth barely peaking through, his wavy hair peaked out from underneath the hat.

"tom," her heart pounded, she wanted to be pounded by him, so bad.

"come on in, flower," his voice smooth, she nodded going inside his warm home. the first thing she noticed was that smell, and that feeling was happening all over again. she felt dizzy, but in the best way.

"can I take your coat?" he asked her, eyes burning into her. he had pants on now, but still shirtless. his body was truly so beautiful, his waist was snatched and his chest and arms were so large. she shuddered her thoughts away.

she nodded, giving him her coat and leaning down to take off her shoes. she watched him from behind, his back flexed barely moving to put her coat up on a coat hanger.

"what are we watching?" she asked, looking around his home. it a studio apartment, a red brick wall on the right side, his TV sat in front of it. plants spread out throughout his place, his curtains a white see through, his couch was a dark brown sectional. he had paintings spread out on the other wall, they were all nature scenes.

his large bed sat in the corner, very messy not made in the slightest. two pillows sat on one side with a black sheet only. the sun shined down through the windows on the bed, skye blinked before thoughts could invade her mind.

"uh, I figured we could watch a horror movie," his voice echoed, as he came walking out of the small kitchen area. he stared at her as she looked around, she felt her eyes on him.

"sure,"

the tension was so thick in the room, skye felt like she was hyperventilating. they sat close, their thighs touching, arms at their sides.

"so-uh, where is your family?" skye asked, startling tom. he was in deep thought, thinking about what it would be like to tease her and please her. he looked up at her, their eyes met.

"well, I'm of age so I don't need them," he laughed, his eyes bright staring into her.

skye nodded, she stared at the screen again.

"so I have a proposition for you," she looked at him, him smirking at her once again.

"obviously you notice the tension here, why don't we ya know do something about it? if we like it we can do it again?" skye stared at him, mouth slightly agape. he laughed, a very melodic sound.

"are you joking?" skye voice, laced with annoyance. he still smirking at her, he turned his body towards her. she gulped, ever so slightly and turned towards him.

"never," chills erupted on her skin, she shook her head. I mean it wouldn't be terrible, and it would be a one time thing if so, I can't imagine I'd enjoy it that much. he is right, she's touched herself to the thought of him almost everytime she has time, she's soaked now just sitting next to him.

his eyes bored into her, his hand slowly coming up to her face. his large hands calloused, and warm, grabs her face on both sides. she gasped, that familiar feeling bubbling up. her cheeks began to pink, he knew what she was feeling because he felt it too. he leaned forward and kissed her. just once, just a taste.

his lips, soft and plump pressed against hers. she pulled away, as far as possible. she sighed and shook her head. looking away from his gaze, she could feel him staring at her.

his eyes watched her, she won't look at him. that feeling, he wanted more. he was hungry for her. she was too, and they both knew it.

edit: part 2 is princess peach and part 3 is blue Jean baby

#tom blyth #tom blyth smut #ballad of songbirds and snakes #tom blyth x reader

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katapotato55 · 7 months

Text

my theory as to why doomers exist (and how to break that mentality to be a better writer)

yesterday my sibling texted me "hey can you list me what major historical events you experienced in life for an assignment? " of course I listed the big ones like COVID and other depressing shit I went through in my life but most of the ones i listed were not super depressing. here are some of them: -the rise of steve jobs and the popularity of modern OS -the rise of smartphones -new technology completely changing the world that I thought I would never see in my lifetime, like VR and self driving cars. -massive cultural impacts such as spongebob being created affecting pop culture -the start of facebook and modern social media -pluto being declared not a planet yknow stuff on the top of my head that I thought would be interesting to write about.

then my sibling came home to tell me that most of what I sent was not helpful at all and that they meant "world events" And i asked "how the hell is the invention of the smart phone and the beginning of modern social media not considered "world events" by these standards" they said "idk just not that"

I think what they meant to say was "my teacher only wants the really depressing miserable shit the media thinks is headline worthy"

You know, I think this is why my generation is full of so many doomers. God forbid we have a positive outlook on this world and try and look at the bright side of things. god forbid we try to be optimistic for both the future and our current lives. we seem to have this thin veil of maturity that depressing=mature somehow. That the only way to make anything of nuance is to basically spam "look how shit everything is! look how enlightened I am" like you are Steve cutts.

well you know what ?

I hate art like the stuff steve cutts makes, and I hate this redundant "look how shit the world is" mentality

I plan on making an analysis post later on about Mr. Cutts, but for now let's stay on point this mentality is redundant and helps no one. yes. we do need to be aware of the bad parts of life. But being a pathetic miserable sod and ignoring the upsides is just as immature and childish as an aggressive optimist thinking the world is all sunshine and rainbows. you know why I like undertale so much ? Undertale knows when to be optimistic and has a mature take on a happy ending. Undertale ALLOWS itself to be happy. enough with the rick and morty level of writing where everything sucks and "fuck you in particular for being hopeful" only edgy 14 year olds think being depressing is the same as being mature. Maturity is understanding that there is nuance to everything and understanding that things are what they are. Do you want to be a good writer ? stop overly relying on being a sad doomer. Even the darkest writers in history like Edgar Allen Poe knew how to lighten the fuck up, because you need to understand the positives in life to effectively create dark writing.

thank you for reading this ironically negative rant, I plan to expand more on the subject later on.

EDIT

ngl i was honestly scared this post would open me up to harassment. I was genuinely terrified of attracting the psycho political crowd that treats politics like religious doctrine. first of all, shout out to this person:

I feel like this would be the perfect opportunity to talk about my struggle with depression as an artist and the stereotype behind it. the stereotype is that only the best artists are emotionally tortured people constantly struggling in agony and putting that into their art. now as someone who has been battling depression for 10 years let me tell you: that mentality is a load of horse shit. the greatest artists in history such as Van Gogh were not great artists because they were depressed they were great artists because they had a combination of passion and unique life experience. It just so happens that depression is a unique life experience to go through. being depressed does not make you deep, it just makes you feel empty and possibly sad depending on what flavor of depression you have. all the great stories about depression are not great because its about depression, but because its about the writers personal experiences and the love and hard work that went into making it. if Van gogh got treatment for his mental health issues, he would have still created art. Yes he created art as his job, but he also did it because he loved it and put his personal feelings and passion into his work. the biggest reason why I detest Steve Cutts is because there is no passion nor personal experience in his work. yes he is talented but most of his animations are just regurgitating all the bad things he could think of and nothing personal is going into it. (again I plan on making an analysis post about steve cutts sooner or later) What makes the art of Van Gogh deep and Steve Cutts as deep as a dry puddle is the fact that you can tell who put their own soul and personality into their work. heed my warning new artists and writers depression =/= deep all depression does is cripple you. Seek out life experience to be the best artist you can be.

#writing advice #writing #creative writing #writing help #writing tips #writer #writer on tumblr #writer problems #writer tips #writing community

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ac0smicdanc3r · 4 months

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When Steve moves out of his house to share an apartment with Eddie, his parents are far from enthused.

Despite seemingly never caring about what was going on in Steve’s life, they request he have weekly Friday night dinners at their house.

Tired of their manipulative ways, Steve accepts this request only on the condition that Eddie can come with him to these dinners. The Harringtons reluctantly accept. Weekly drama ensues.

On one particular Friday, Steve’s mother informs him that she has arranged for him to have weekly golfing lessons at the club with his father. This, of course, has been done totally without Steve’s permission. He knows it’s all part of their grand plan to prevent him from leaving their shallow world.

However, due to Steve and Eddie’s protests, (including Eddie’s dramatic addition that “I hardly ever see him and I live with him! Mrs Harrington, That’s how busy he is.”) the arrangement is changed from weekly to monthly lessons.

Regardless of their slight success, the pair leave the Harrington house in a stunned silence and begin walking up the path to Eddie’s van.

Eddie: Wow, so you were totally blindsided in there.

Steve: I know. Maybe it won’t be that bad.

Eddie: Maybe it won’t.

Steve: Maybe you could come with me?

Eddie: Oh! is there a “you’re crazy” team? Because I think they’d make you captain.

Steve: Please?

Eddie: Steve, I love you. I would take a bullet for you. But I’d rather stick something sharp in my ear then go clubbing with you.

Steve: Fine.

Eddie: I’d rather slide down a banister of razor blades and land in a pool of alcohol, then go to the club with you.

Steve: I got it.

Eddie: Don’t stop me I’m on a roll. Uh, I’d rather…eat my own hand, then go clubbing with you. Ooh- Id rather get my face surgically altered, to look like that lunatic rich lady with the lion head, then go to the club with you.

Steve: Would you like me to drive so you can continue?

Eddie: *Handing him the keys* Would you? Thanks. I’d rather cut off my own head and use it as a punch bowl, hah, then go to the club with you.

——————————————————————————

Another Steddie as Gilmore girls quotes/scenes :) This one is from GG season 1 episode 3.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve harringtons parents #gilmore girls #in my headcanon Steve’s parents are a lot like Richard and Emily Gilmore

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quietblueriver · 10 months

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Prompts!

Will you hold my hand?

They can't look at you like that!

Will you hold my hand?

Quick thing #2. Avatrice + Diego fluff. Thanks for the prompt!

She’s been waiting on this for a long time. There wasn’t time or capacity or, really, much to offer in the face of a possible apocalypse, but now that things have settled, that she’s able to live her life, Ava’s also able to help a few other people live theirs.

Nobody gets to enjoy the perks of martyrdom, which Ava guesses is kind of the point, but now that she’s back? Well, she’s cashing in on some of that goodwill and the Church doesn’t seem super eager to fight her. Cam finds Diego easily because he is, somehow, exactly where she’d left him. As soon as they have confirmation and a list of names, Mother Superion makes a call.

Two days later, there’s an address and an assurance of “state-of-the-art facilities” and “hospital affiliation” and “coverage of tuition and all related costs.” It’s what every kid should get, of course, and she thinks she’ll spend a lot of time trying to make that happen, but she feels happy to start here.

Diego is the oldest of the ten kids left at a smaller but still running St. Michael’s. Two nuns are there with them, ancient but, clearing the world’s lowest caretaking bar, not sadistic, and they don’t ask questions or fight when Mother Superion shows up with Camila and Dora and some strange but impressive paperwork, herding the kids into a van.

They call after dropping them off at the new facility, confirming that it is, as promised, excellent in all of the ways that St. Michael’s wasn’t. When Ava hangs up, she curls into Beatrice in their bed and cries for a little while, a steady heartbeat in her ear and a steady hand running through her hair.

“Do you think it would be okay for me to see him?”

Ava feels her response as she says it, voice low and close, “I think he would love to see you, and I think it would be wonderful for you both, if it’s something that you want.”

“I want it so bad, Bea. I just…I don’t want to mess him up. Or, mess him up more, I guess. Y’know, he has a fresh start now. He deserves that.”

The hand in her hair stills as Beatrice shifts slightly so that she can look Ava in the eye. She’s gentle, always so gentle with Ava, as she strokes a calloused finger across her cheek.

“Ava. Darling. He loves you. And you love him. You were there for each other in that awful place.”

“He saw me kill a nun, Bea.”

Her eyes harden. “He saw you protect yourself, and him, from an abuser. He thought you were an angel for a reason.”

She softens again, adds, “It might be a little difficult for him to understand your…change in circumstances.” Ava snorts and Beatrice tilts her head and shrugs the shoulder Ava’s not laying on in acknowledgement of that fucking understatement. “He might have a hard time understanding what happened and why, but more than anything, he’ll be happy that you’re back in his life.”

Ava settles back into her chest and Bea scratches at her back in the way that she loves, pulling up the hem of her shirt just slightly so that she can reach skin. She hums happily and wiggles in appreciation.

“And,” she continues, nails running gradually higher, “he’s old enough to have seen some of what happened over the last year, no matter how hard the sisters might have tried to shelter him. Not that they seemed to be trying particularly hard. In any case, I’m sure Diego understands now more than ever that strange things are possible.”

Bea’s right, of course. She decides, then, that she’ll talk to Mother Superion tomorrow to see what the best way to organize a meeting might be. In the meantime, she has a few other things she’d like to accomplish.

She rolls away just slightly so that she can push herself up and over, straddling Bea’s thighs and leaning forward to undo her bun, balancing with one arm on her shoulder. Beatrice makes a somewhat strangled noise, hands moving to Ava’s hips, and Ava smirks, because yeah she wants Bea’s hair down but it’s not exactly an accident that she’s chosen to do it this way. She presses her chest forward just slightly, feels Beatrice’s breath hot on her clavicle, the almost-whine that escapes her as Ava finishes with her hair tie.

“Has anyone ever told you,” she combs her hands through the loose hair and settles back, “that you’re very, very smart?” Beatrice is not looking at her face. Ava grins, thrills at the blush on Bea’s face when Ava slips a finger under her chin to tilt her head back and redirect her eyes. She doesn’t give her a real chance to answer, kissing her briefly and then dragging her lips down her throat. “And also.” she slips her hands under Bea’s shirt and tugs it up, Beatrice lifting her arms to assist so eagerly that Ava can’t help but breathe out a laugh against her newly available and perfect collarbones. “Very, very hot.”

“Oh?” Beatrice offers, eyes darkening.

“Yeah.” She trails her lips lower, moving her body down the bed until her palms are pressed to the mattress just beside Bea’s hips. She meets Bea’s eyes again, grins. “But show is always better than tell.”

Ava’s waiting anxiously, bouncing on her toes, and when the van pulls in, the doors are hardly open before a tiny blur is coming at her, hurling himself into her arms. She can lift him now, easy, and she spins him around and laughs, ruffles his slightly longer hair. “Diego, my guy. I’m so happy to see you.”

Beatrice is standing off to the side, there at Ava’s insistence, and Ava turns to her now, arm still around Diego’s shoulders, and says, “D, this is Beatrice, my girlfriend.” Beatrice, perfect Beatrice, offers a hand and turns her full attention to him. “Hello, Diego. It’s so nice to meet you. Ava has told me so many wonderful things about you.” She says it with the kind of Beatrice sincerity that makes Ava want to cry a little, and her voice is softer than it would be with a grown-up, but only just slightly, something comforting instead of something patronizing.

Diego’s blushing a little, which Ava understands completely and also finds to be really fucking cute, as he shakes her hand and says, “Hello. It’s very nice to meet you, too.”

Ava jumps a little as she says, “Okay. So. What do you think about a beach day?”

Diego lights up, and Ava keeps it together, barely.

“Really?”

“Yeah!”

He laughs and hugs her again and says, a little loudly but Ava couldn’t care less, “Yeah!”

They take Diego to pick a swimsuit, purple with green octopi winning in a close race against blue with orange turtles. He chooses a green rash guard to match, Beatrice extolling the virtues of UV-protection, and then they select an excessive number of sandcastle construction tools, packing them all into a beach bag that Beatrice carries easily while she and Diego debate the perfect spot for their towels.

Ava takes a minute to grab her water from the bag as Beatrice and Diego begin discussing the logistics of castle-building, and it’s really almost too much for her, watching these people that she has loved so powerfully in such different parts of her life sit together and seriously map out a floor plan in the sand. Bea, taking her own advice, has on a black rash guard and green board shorts, hair in a ponytail threaded through a black cap. Her eyes are focused, moving between their layout and Diego, who is busy looking up at Bea in something close to awe. Again, she gets it, and she takes the chance to watch for a little while, until Diego looks over at her and says, very seriously, “Ava, how do you feel about a double moat?”

It’s easy, so easy, to spend the day with them. The castle is more impressive than anything Ava would have been able to build with Diego on her own, Beatrice critically examining sand-to-water ratios and consulting Diego on every decision. A few other kids, Diego’s age and a little younger, look on, clapping at the successful installation of a new turret, until their adults call them away.

Beatrice unpacks the fruit and chips Diego had picked and, after a short time splashing in the shallow water, they get ice cream, sitting under an umbrella stand and watching the water.

When they get back to the towels, it’s obvious that Diego is a little tired, and Beatrice says, almost shyly, “Diego, I brought something I thought you might like.” She pulls a copy of Percy Jackson from their bag. “It was one of my favorites, when I was your age.”

Ava knows this is mostly true. Beatrice had loved it, although by the time she was Diego’s age, she was reading books many people didn’t read until college. She’d asked Ava before buying it, “He won’t think it’s silly?” And Ava had assured her that he would love it and then kissed her, like, a lot.

Diego’s holding the book a little reverently, still not used to anyone giving him anything, much less anything new with this kind of thought and care. “Cool,” he breathes out, the highest compliment he can give, really, and he looks at them both as he says, “Can I read it now?”

Ava lays a hand on Beatrice’s knee. “Yeah, D. Absolutely. We brought books too.”

Beatrice pulls their books out, and they settle happily on the towels. By the time the sun is setting, he’s made it through a surprising amount, and Beatrice offers, easily, as she packs their bag, “I’ll send you the next one, if you like it.”

“Thanks, Bea.” He says it like it’s something he’s said a thousand times, closing the book and looking at her earnestly, and Ava knows it means something, for Beatrice to have someone else, a child, be this comfortable with her.

“You’re welcome.”

Diego is staying the night with them, so they’re not in a particular hurry, and when Ava watches him staring at the Ferris wheel as they walk the boardwalk, she nudges Bea a little and nods in its direction. Beatrice nods and squeezes her fingers.

“Hey, Diego.” He looks back at her. “Wanna go on the Ferris wheel?”

By the time they reach the wheel, Diego’s a little more hesitant. It’s understandable—the thing is huge, and the carriages are all glass, and Ava knows he has never done anything like this before. He doesn’t stop, though, leading them into the line for tickets and then into the line to wait. The carriages are big, but there aren’t enough people that they fill, each group getting one to themselves. When it’s their turn, the attendant opens the door and Diego hesitates a little before stepping up, Ava and Beatrice following closely.

Before Ava can say anything, Beatrice has let her hand go to stand close to him. She says, gentle in all the same ways she is with Ava, “Diego, I’m a little scared of heights. Would you mind holding my hand?”

He knows, she thinks, what Beatrice is doing, but the smile he gives her is grateful and he grabs her hand without hesitation. “That’s okay, Bea. Me too. We can do it together.”

Ava stands beside them, leaning into Beatrice, and they watch the sun set over the ocean.

#warrior nun #avatrice #sister beatrice #ava silva #warrior nun fic #wn prompt fic

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jo-harrington · 4 months

Text

The Gospel According to Mary Victoria (An As Above, So Below Story) - Book 1

Book 1 - Book 2 - Book 3

Word Count: 4.2k

Pairing: Steve Harrington/Fem!OC (Told in 1st Person POV)

Warnings/Themes: Van Helsing AU, Strangers to Lovers, Religious Themes, Criticism of Religion/Catholicism, Fate vs. Free Will, Supernatural Encounters, Angst, Biblical and Other Literary/Media References

Note: Hello and welcome to another offshoot of the AASB series. First off, thank you to @pastel-pillows @storiesbyrhi and @munson-blurbs for doing a little beta read and helping me get some confidence back. Second, this is sort of my gift to @big-ope-vibes as she is my partner in crime, my fandom ride or die, and asked for the sidekick character in AASB to get some D, so this will eventually be that.

Mary Victoria is the nun sidekick character that follows along on the adventure, similar to Carl the Friar from Van Helsing. Comic relief but ultimately someone who finds themselves and comes into their own during the course of the main storyline. She, much like the Knight, has an ambiguous background although it is touched on a little bit in the main story and will be elaborated more here. MV is the name she chose for herself when she became a nun, and she can truly be anyone reading. No physical descriptors will be mentioned.

This trilogy is, for all intents and purposes, her diary and more insight into her place in this universe.

This series will not be for the faint of heart, nor is it something that was written with a general audience in mind. Please check the above warnings and ask yourself if you are in the correct headspace to proceed. I am happy to answer any questions via PM or Ask.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

"And it seems such a waste of time, but that's what it's all about. Mama if that's movin' up then I'm movin' out." - Movin' Out (Anthony's Song), Billy Joel (1977)

1987. The year my life changed.

Ew, I hate that.

It's cliche, isn't it? But all stories are.

And that's what we all are in the end, aren't we? Stories.

So this is mine.

Pieced together from dumb shit written on gas station napkins and this...shitty journal from Claire's that I found in a pile of rubble near the ruins of StarCourt Mall, and my spotty memory.

My story.

From a farm, to Hollywood, to a convent, to a cursed suburb in Indiana.

And his.

But he's just a guy, and sort of unremarkable as most just-a-guy's are, so we can talk about him later.

And hers.

Let's talk about her now.

The Knight.

She kind of sucked.

But she was my friend.

And in order to understand my place in her story, you have to understand her place in mine.

I'd met her before everything started.

Even during my days as a novice, I was never really...convinced. Belief and devotion are two different things; I was devout, sure, because I needed something to believe in and I wanted to believe in it so badly. But the act of belief was often a stretch; I convinced myself to do it because I needed some kind of divine reasoning for my life going the way that it was.

Turns out I didn't really need it.

I'd always been interested in the Holy Order though. Big mysterious organization, filled with severe looking...saints...is that what they were? Still, they were curious and mysterious and no one would tell me anything; obviously I had to know more. The Knight was no different.

From that first day I met her, I saw something inside of her that I always secretly hoped someone might see in me.

Defiance and fire and potential for more.

She had seen it in me.

She, however, had this...deep pit of sadness, this yearning for something she lost. It stuck with me for years until we met again.

And in hindsight, I truly believe that she'd seen those things in me as well. That's why she came back for me.

She'd never truly been happy in the time that I'd known her, though.

Where I could laugh and shake things off and hope everything would get better, she was stuck.

There was an old copy of Tuck Everlasting that I found in the things she'd left behind; the passage about the wheel of life and how the Tucks had fallen off it...it had been highlighted and underlined over and over. The Knight was stuck like that. Forced into some life that was removed from everyone else's. Cursed. Banished.

Something she never chose for herself.

But somehow she fought to choose everything else.

She chose me.

She saw all of those things in me, those things that she might not have realized she had herself in one way or another. Just like I didn't recognize I had until she helped me bring them to light.

And she chose me.

I thought fate had guided me to the church, despite my trouble with belief and devotion. Seems, though, fate had just led me to her.

A sheep with no shepherd and a shepherd with no flock; both of them interchangeable with the either of us at any given time.

I left the flock I had reluctantly joined and grown comfort in, and took my place by her side. Took the permission she gave me to be myself again, took my future back. Devotion to no one and nothing unless I chose to devote myself, not because I felt like I had to.

Not even devotion to her.

She only ever asked that I consider the devotion I owed to myself.

It took a while, but I got there.

Thus..

Huh...who says thus?

...I was no longer Mary Victoria, the novice. I was Mare, adventurer and slayer of evil in my own right. Apostle or disciple or asshole who liked to write things down because of my aforementioned shit memory. Following a path she brought me along until it was time to forge one for myself.

And I got everything I ever wanted.

But in order to gain it, I had to lose everything first. We all did.

Fate.

Faith.

They're both integral to this story.

And they're both bullshit.

"So who is she again?"

This asshole.

"And who are you?"

I looked up from my oatmeal with a dead stare.

The urge to punch him was almost unbearable, but I was hungry, so that was probably the reason.

Nothing like starting the morning off with a fight.

"Who are you?" I countered, shoveling a spoonful of breakfast into my mouth with an inquisitive lift of my brow.

"I'm Steve, remember? We met yesterday," he greeted in a seemingly genuine tone.

Alright, so I probably was just in a mood. But, something about him made me nervous.

For someone as nice as I was, I really hated seemingly nice guys.

Ok hate is a strong word. I was suspicious of nice guys. Especially cute nice guys.

The morning had already started off pretty tense, though, and the Knight left me alone to fend for myself and keep making friends while she got intel from that Dustin kid. Meanwhile I was left at the breakfast table as everyone else dispersed for the day.

Alone except for him.

Steve McQueen Harrington, our gracious host and one of the heads of the Hawkins Clean Up and Defense Brigade. Along with his trusty sidekick...the nail-covered baseball bat.

He had been kind to us, one of the only ones in Hawkins so far, which was why I was trying to ignore the alarm bells that rang in the back of my head. I knew I needed to try and not be my usual, effervescent self and alienate him.

But...gah...never trust a cute face, no matter how strong the urge to do so is.

Even if he was maybe flirting with me a little bit.

I was out of practice staving off the attention of men, and it'd been a while since I got to see anyone who could be considered attractive; abstinence and all in account, I was an easy target to woo and get information out of.

But two could play at that game.

I scooped another spoonful of oatmeal into my mouth and blinked at him. Silence always made untrustworthy people squirm.

"At the risk of sounding repetitive," he cleared his throat awkwardly, falling right into my trap. "Why...are you guys here? Why is she back?"

I'd heard all about the Knight's heroics a few years ago--the destruction in the tunnels beneath Hawkins--when we arrived.

"I think she feels like she owes it to the town," I shrugged. "Cuz of her boyfriend Eddie? He died. She couldn't save him."

Steve got tense and his eyes darted away from mine.

Bingo.

"Did you know him?"

"Yeah," he nodded stiffly, hand immediately rubbing at his side. "He was a...friend, I guess."

He got silent and pensive, his gaze became distant, and his fingers twitched.

That...was odd. Not exactly the bingo I was hoping for but I could use it to my advantage.

"Hmm..."

"What?"

"Sensing some sexual tension."

"Huh?"

"Yearning. Did you have a crush on Eddie or something?"

His cheeks got flush and he tripped over his words with a lot of no, but's... and I...he was... and he's Dustin's friend.

I only said what I said because it made the most sense. The Knight really didn't say much about Eddie because it was painful for her, brought up a lot of emotion. So it would stand to reason that Steve might feel and do the same if he had a crush on Eddie and then Eddie died.

"Unrequited love," I sighed. "It really sucks."

"It was not unrequited love," Steve insisted. "There's just...a lot you don't understand about what's been happening in Hawkins. And with Eddie...there's a lot there. It's a long story."

"Then tell me." I shrugged; what was there to lose. "We're here to help. I'm here to help. And how can I if you keep secrets?"

"It's not a secret."

"Ok, not keeping secrets, you just omit critical information."

He sighed and patted his hands against the table in contemplation.

And somehow I knew, thanks to some innate empathic sense that was coming to light with this new development in my life, or my uncanny ability to sense some shit, that what he was about to say would not give me any peace.

It would just make everything worse.

"You can help," he started. "But we just...need to move past it. It's better for everyone if things just...stay buried. Don't speak ill of the dead and all that."

See, the thing was that I was nosy.

I liked knowing everything and I especially didn't like it when secrets were kept from me.

And despite Steve's insistence that we need to move past it, I knew that this wasn't just privacy or moving on...

He was hiding something.

So I pried more.

It started out with little things, asking people simple questions while volunteering in the town square. Questions about Vecna, about the Upside Down, about their involvement. The loved ones they lost. Used empathy to lure them into some sense of trust and security with me.

And I got some good tidbits--and I mean good tidbits--that I started to string together like a puzzle. But nothing big; I couldn't see the big picture yet.

So I knew I needed to get down to business, and the best person to ask would be Steve.

"I have a question."

"Yeah?"

But I really stuck my foot in it.

"I want to know if you guys meant to get Barb killed and turned into a vampire or if you're just negligent."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Steve stopped his digging to look at me with wild, wide eyes.

And I might have pissed him off.

In my defense...who else could I ask? Nancy? Fat fucking chance.

"No because it just doesn't make sense," I tried to backtrack. "How do all of these people end up dead and then...turned into vampires. Did you have some kind of...lottery system of who ends up as bait for Kas or..."

But ok maybe I really fucked up a little. Learning curve, the Knight said. So interrogation tactics were a 200-level course.

"...it just seems a little convenient that so many people die and have been brought back. What did you say? Chrissy and Fred and Patrick...all of Vecna's victims? Who else got killed in the Upside Down?"

But I'd been trying to reconcile it all in my head, especially as it connected to Eddie.

Somehow he was connected to all of this, his name on the tips of everyone's tongues when I asked them. Murderer, leader of some satanic cult--even though I'd also heard through the grapevine that it was actually not a cult.

There was something about him that...didn't sit right with me.

And I certainly couldn't bring it up to her until I had a better idea about how this all connected to him.

The last thing the Knight needed was for her long lost love to appear, mindless and murderous, in a flurry of wings and fangs.

I know she wanted to keep me safe but I needed to keep her safe as well.

Who else would?

And I know I could have just asked her about him. In hindsight, I sort of wish I had. I just...didn't know that I could.

So I asked Steve, even if it was in some...roundabout way.

"Oh Jesus I'm not doing this right now." Steve ran a hand through his hair. "Didn't we just go over this? Are you seriously asking...I don't even know how to...Rob!"

"Yeah?"

Robin approached from a ways away and immediately she and Steve ducked their heads together to talk in hushed tones, his one hand gestured wildly towards me.

I liked Robin. She was nice to us when we arrived at the Harringtons last night, tried to make some jokes during the tense dinner. Whether that was because she was actually trying to be friendly or she was just awkward in awkward situations...which...that definitely had been the textbook example of one.

Despite Steve's obvious complaints about me, she was patient enough when they swapped tasks and she took up Steve's shovel beside me.

"There's kind of a Rite of Passage to these things Mary," she explained after a few minutes of tense digging. "You can't just come in demanding answers; you either fall into this whole...Upside Down nonsense by chance, or you need to prove yourself if you're entering the fray by choice. I did it, Steve did it. We all did."

That made it sound like there was some weird blood oath to join a monster hunting brotherhood. I was already trying to get my foot in the door with one, I didn't need to do that with another, more...ragtag one.

Especially not after what I had witnessed yesterday.

"I think we more than proved ourselves," I argued. "We're here to help. We want to fight these vampires and creatures and all of that. And we need to understand where they came from first."

"I think you don't understand; this isn't just a fight anymore."

She got tense and then closed her eyes and cursed under her breath.

"What do you mean?" I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. "Not a fight? I sincerely think this is still a fight if monsters are attacking the town. If Kas is attacking the town."

"Ok, monsters," she began in agreement. "Yeah we still need to fight the monsters if they're killing people."

"Why do I sense there's a 'but.'"

"But...the days they don't? We just leave them alone. And they leave us alone too."

"Well what happens in a month? In two months? What happens when you run out of food?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

"Meanwhile they have an endless supply of blood." I elaborated, voicing something that I had been thinking all night, one of the million invasive thoughts. "Blood. Meat. Yours. Fresh carcasses for their feast."

With each word I felt a fire build up inside of me, an impatience. Defiance. It was all so easy for everyone to give passive answers; think about it tomorrow. I already had to face my mortality once in the past 24 hours, I was sure I would again, and the people of Hawkins had to do it any number of times. Why was it so easy for them to put these things off?

I wanted a clear cut answer. And I wasn't getting it.

I wouldn't know until later that it wasn't as clear cut as I had hoped.

But with each word, my aggression grew and my shovel struck the rubble over...and over...until it split the ground below.

A crack formed in the dirt, a fissure; it got wider and deeper and swallowed the bits of rubble into it until it stopped and revealed a glowing membrane not unlike the nearby gates. Robin started rambling and shouting for others, she went on and on about the Upside Down.

"Is he getting stronger? Did he do this? What's going on? Oh shit, oh shit."

But I couldn't be bothered, because I knew that had nothing to do with Kas or the Upside Down.

It was me.

And how could I just...experience that and not immediately go into my own spiral.

Now, the thing was...I wasn't strong. Not stronger than the average person...or...actually, I was probably weaker, given my...mostly sedentary lifestyle as a nun. Couldn't unscrew a jar of pickles to save my life. In that moment, however, something within me was unleashed. A spark of power, an energy surge, from the moment the shovel penetrated the dirt and stone.

So excuse me if I didn't care about the commotion that these simple-minded, fearful townies were building. My questions turned from Hawkins and the Upside Down and Kas...to myself.

I was like Luke Skywalker in the Wampa cave.

And I desperately wished that my Obi-Wan was there to guide me.

Unfortunately, I had to keep it all to myself.

Not that I wanted to. I just had to.

It's weird when you're someone's sidekick and suddenly on your own journey of self-discovery.

I knew that the Knight said that she would train me. Guide me. I also knew the importance--both personal and otherwise--of her journey here, and, you know, it had been drilled in my head to be selfless for quite a few years now.

I just...ok it wasn't weird. It sucked.

I had questions.

How could I bring my sudden development of unexplained strength organically when my mentor was...oh I don't know...getting in trouble for breaking curfew and reading a kid's mind? Or how about rallying the troops to go hunt down monsters so she could kill Kas singlehandedly?

I certainly couldn't bring it up when she disappeared for several hours during said hunt, leaving me, Robin, Dustin, and Steve to wonder where the fuck she went?

And it was definitely out of the question when she suddenly reappeared, dragging the body of a man who had, apparently, been dead for several years and had clawed his way out of a grave.

And not just any grave.

Eddie Munson's grave.

It was getting really hard to ignore all the bright red blaring signals and not just grab her by the shoulders, shake her, and say "I need you to not freak out right now but Eddie is Kas, you idiot. Can you please do something about this? And also can you maybe help me because I split the earth in two the other day and sometimes when I touch things I'm able to see what they saw."

Yeah that was a new development. Hit me like a freight train when I went to use the bathroom and I was suddenly thrust into the past watching one Mrs. Harrington wax her...

Well...

No one wants or needs to hear about that.

But I had to keep it all buried inside of me. Push it down and down and down until I didn't risk it all bubbling to the surface subconsciously. Little did I know, it would all reach some kind of critical mass like Chernobyl at some point.

And that point was when we suddenly needed to keep this Billy guy's resurrection a secret.

It was easy, I lied to myself at first. I simply had to do what I had always done, for my entire life.

I used happiness, positivity, and humor to cope. To make sure everyone else coped.

And it seemed to help for a while.

We kept Billy in the garage, the Knight and I made sure he was fed three times a day, everyone went about their different volunteer schedules, and it all seemed to be alright. Everyone seemed to be in a better mood.

It was going to be alright.

Until it wasn't.

Remember what I said about bad memory? It all comes and goes in flashes sometimes. There's screaming and crying--I think I was the one crying--and there's blood and dirt and Claudia looking so...disappointed.

In all of us.

And taillights leaving me behind.

That's when I reached a breaking point.

As soon as the bumper of that old, busted Marquis turned the corner at the end of the Harrington's street, I broke.

The clouds churned, there was a strange gust of wind that rumbled along with the uneasiness in my stomach, and my hands shook.

"You see what you did," I muttered upwards into the stark, overcast sky. Upwards to Heaven, to God, if He was real...as though that asshole was going to do anything about it even if he heard me. "You better make sure she's alright."

"You good Mare?" There was a hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it away. "Come on, come inside."

"No, I have beef with God right now," I snapped.

"I think we all do," Steve sighed.

"No!" I rounded on him now.

In hindsight, as I slowly deteriorated under the weight of...fuck, you know...just...everything, I was a little unfair to him.

But it was hard to be left behind again, even if it was only for the night. Hard to try and protect someone, and they get hurt regardless. Hard to try to come to terms with things happening to you that are fully out of your control.

And it was hard to see past my own nose and recognize that I was not actually alone after all.

"I'm done with all of your secrets," my words thundered. "I want to know why you lied."

"Lied?"

"You never told us that Eddie Munson was Kas." He blanched. "Listen I know you think it's this big secret you've kept from us but it's not that hard to figure out, Jesus Christ."

"But--" He pointed out to the street.

"You don't know her," I shook my head. "Fuck, I don't even know her. But it's not hard to tell that she's grieving and in denial."

"That's, uh...that's what Dustin said," he sighed and scratched at his neck. "I'm...we wanted to say something from the beginning. Nancy--"

"Fuck Nancy," I spat.

Thunder rolled overhead.

"Ok I wanted to tell you guys from the beginning," he corrected himself. "How's that? I wanted to tell you both the truth. But Dustin's a good kid, he wants to protect everyone. As soon as your friend told him she used to date Eddie...he didn't want her to think of him like that. Like a monster."

"Well she's gonna find out one way or another, and then what'll happen? You're gonna get chewed out," I grumbled and stomped my feet in irritation. "God, no one in this town thinks of the future. And this is coming from me who, if you didn't know now you do, never plans ahead for the future and is generally a disaster. You're literally facing life and death out here and you can't look past the end of the day.

"I get it, you don't even know if you're gonna make it to the end of the day but news-fucking-flash asshole: a plan is gonna help you survive. It didn't take me long to learn that fucking lesson. And you've been doing this for how many years now?"

I suddenly felt some sad, suffocating realization overcome me. This...they've been doing this for years. The knight doing this for years. Facing creatures, evading dangers, barely surviving. People hadn't survived. People came back to life as monsters, as something else only to hunt and kill their loved ones.

How had they done it? How had they all coped? It was easier to think about in theory, how strong they'd all been. But I'd been doing it for a week and I felt overwhelmed.

I looked around again, at Steve, up at the rumbling sky, down at myself. At my body and at my hands.

I was there. I was in the thick of it. I was changing to be something that could withstand being in the thick of it. They might have all looked whole on the outside but how shattered were they all just under the surface.

How long would it come for me before I got to be that way too?

"Are you ok?" Steve asked as my breathing got heavier, as I closed my eyes and felt all of the changes happening within me, shifting within me to accommodate this new world I was in. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want this," I whispered, begged some greater power. "I'll stay, I'll help, but I don't want this."

There was a resounding boom of thunder close by and the sky opened up to rain down on us. Steve flinched as the droplets hit him and he motioned for me to follow inside but I stood my ground.

"Come on, you're gonna catch a cold or something!" Steve shouted over the din of the shower.

"Just let me do this," I bit out. "Are you, like, the least fucking romantic person, you see a girl with her face turned up towards the sky in the rain and you're like let's go inside you're gonna catch a cold."

"I'm not trying to be romantic, you're trying to be stupid."

"I'm not going in," I insisted.

A war sparked within me.

I thought...hoped that this was a cleansing rain. That all of this new power would be shed if I only stayed out here long enough. The Lord Giveth, and the Lord Taketh away and all that. I could even feel it, feel the power drain from me the longer I stood there. It made me shiver, made my hair stand on end.

On the other hand, there was fear.

Thinking of it now, after the fact, I should have listened to that second part. I should have been afraid. Should have shut up and gone inside with Steve and just accepted my fate.

I should have read the obvious signs.

But I was dumb.

And at the end of the day I was still a nun, after all. I had faith that He would save me from this path I had started down. And because of that, I stood there basking in my beliefs and the Glory of God.

But then the Lord took a look at me, as pathetic as I was, and said, "go fuck yourself Mary Victoria."

The next thing I knew, I got struck by lightning.

Cool. Praise be to God. The fucking asshole.

"With great power comes great responsibility." - Stan Lee, Spider-man/Amazing Fantasy #15 (1962)

#as above so below #aasb #Steve harrington fic #Steve harrington x oc #stranger things fic

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