#thanks for enjoying my dumb magnum opus

[likelightinglass]

Fic Stats Tag Game

Rules: Give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.

Thanks for the tag @danpuff-ao3 this looks fun!

Most Hits

In which Severus is stressed and needs Daddy to treat him like a dumb little cumdump. We're both gay and obsessed with tender, intimate kink; moved, we wrote this fanfic

Summary:

Severus spends a morning serving Daddy like a proper little cockslut, since that's what he's good at. Lucky for him, Daddy loves him that way.

Yeah I see all you perverts out there. So many hits on this one and comparitvely so few comments and kudos--and twice as many private bookmarks as public!

I think this may be the fic of mine people seem most ashamed to have read. But I hope people enjoyed it nonetheless haha.

This was so fun to write and it was a hoot to explore some very niche kinks. It was a blast to cowrite with the wonderful alhaz and that excellent naming convention was my crazy idea. I still get such a kick out of it whenever I see it.

Second Most Kudos

World Enough, and Time

Summary:

Soulmate clocks start ticking when you first lock eyes, and count down until your time with them is over. Harry’s starts ticking on September 1st, 1991. He has only six years, eight months, and one day.

This is secretly my favorite fic. I wrote it all at once stream of consciousness style while out shopping. This fic brought to you by eating fast food in my car in a parking lot.

I love the soulmate trope and I loved this take on it. And I am quite pleased with myself that I took the angst and managed a happy ending anyway!

This one had a recent popularity spike due to the amazing podfic by Cailynwrites!!! I am so grateful for it.

Third Most Comments

What Comes Next (and How to Like it)

Summary:

A choose your own adventure fic!

You are Severus Snape. You survived against all odds, and now it's time to take life into your own hands. What will you do with this gift of a second chance, and how will you find your happy ending?

Your happy ending is pretty much always Harry Potter, but there's so many fun ways to get there.

I was so inspired by @lizzy0305 's Choices that I just had to write my own choose your own adventure fic. I am so insanely proud of this one although the plotting was a bear haha. It was very fun writing basically a bunch of mini fics and using so many different tropes. And I got to give Severus over a dozen different happy endings. It's what he deserves.

I feel like this one doesnt get as much love--maybe the interactive nature of it can be off putting? But its one of my favorite things that I have ever wrote and the fic i tend to self rec the most. Most of the comments on this are telling me what their favorite endong was and its so nice to see! Especially since several have been recieved unexpectedly.

Fourth Most Bookmarks

So actually World Enough, and Time again but it is SO CLOSE to More Than Dark, I'm cheating a tiny bit in order to pimp this one out

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31757209/chapters/78608503

More Than Dark

Summary:

Severus is imprisoned in solitary confinement in Azkaban with no idea of who won the war. He is ill, underfed, and slowly losing his mind.

When Harry eventually takes him in and nurses him back to health, he can scarcely believe it's real.

My white whale. My magnum opus. My only published WiP. It haunts me every day that it remains unfinished. I promise its not abandoned, I love it so much and I've written and outlined so much of it but its going to be novel length (in a thousand years when its done) and its been over a year since the last update. I am pouring my heart and soul into this one and its jjst taking a really. Really. Really long time. But if anyone likes WiPs, please try it. I think its one of my best.

Fifth Most Words

Sly and Songful

Summary:

One of the those animagus fics, in which our heroes would rather secretly spy and pine instead of just have an honest conversation.

But where would the fun in that be?

Everyone lives AU, in which you will encounter birds, foxes, pining, stubbornness, falling in love, and scars.

This was one of my first ever fics and it was a birthday present for the magnificent @bleedcolor .

I loved working on this and feeling like I was finally writing a "real" fic with a plot and everything. Its got nightingale animagus Harry and fox animagus Snape and gnarly scars and its very soft and probably a little out of character and amateur but I love it very much.

Theres also a sequel to this, A kind of love called maintenance that I am particularly proud of.

I also commissioned art of this one from Madfantasy! I will reblog it now so it appears right above :)

Fic with the Least Words

AITA for not going down on my boyfriend?

Summary:

Severus takes to the internet to determine if he is, in fact, the asshole.

This was inspired by my obsession with Reddit's Am I the Asshole? And a conversation with Zalil after her spectacular fic where we agreed her fic's Severus was an incredibly selfish lover. It still makes me laugh, I added a couple "in charachter" comments and encouraged others to do so, got some hilarious ones back! If anyone reads this, please comment in the style of AITA hahah.

Tagging: @bleedcolor @perverse-idyll @coconutice22 @givereadersahug @lizzy0305 and absolutely anyone else who wants to!!!

[taegularities]

Day 3

I'm reading the cmi for first time AND OMG gurl I'm loving this jjk ffs so much like wow who thought I could stumble upon some good shit on like this

I'm done till cmi~light ✨✨✨✨ seriously 3 damn days it took just to be here

SWEAR these two dorkes like hell they are such idiots and clowns in love how they are not obvious to eachother but to whole world I'm sure even if stranger sits with them for moment they wouldn't able to tell...

The way (yn/oc) tells jk how he also treats her so good in (cmi light) like gurl 🐥👊🏻 what in hell you were expecting!??? A LOVE CONFESSION not in hell baby he is doing he is DUMBASS I cracked up so bad on his bant ass reply like "yea I treat Every women same as you" you ain't no special girl mf 🤭🤭 fuck man i felt second hand embarrassment for BOTH THEM because first of all why our gurl asking those dumb questions when WE know we gonna get dumber answers for that.... jezz that boy WHY HE IS SUCH idiot tell me he gets better on because no way our oc is falling in love with his super idiots ass (besides those delicious moves and sure that 🦴🔫 are very rare can't blam her) but still WHY HE thinks he not good or enough for oc or what's with so much not so required insecurities and looks like boy's all smartness 😒is in his peepee and hands only and god's be good not again those dumb secret why can't he be more open.

The scene in cmi-light gurl where jk appears from nowhere reminds of some old romance movie sitting of where this fl is all sadden up in her own misery sitting outside and suddenly another moment she try to move on and gets up but sees there the ml is all snuggled up in the sunset all the sun light covering him and all she could see is his outline and there he is waiting for her it was so good that it's making jump and paint like I wanna do sketching or water painting of that scene

Anyways I will let you know if I ever able to create one but seriously I WANT THAT SCENE HAPPENING REAL LIFE 😭😭 maybe to us or someone anyways bye

lesson to be learn never to be so desperate kids

🦴🔫 anon

lmfaoooo omg yeah, the story is kind of an idiots to lovers and a bit of a slow burn thing 😭 not sure how to react to the jk slander and the multiple mentions of the word 'idiot' lmfaooo i created the guy in a way that even i fell in love hard 🤣 you'll know why he's not so open!! he's been through a crap ton that makes it not so easy for him to speak his mind and "act" secretive, which is ofc frustrating for both, but also valid since they haven't been in this thing together long enough for him to reveal such bad trauma. be patient!! 😋

i'm happy you've been reading!! lights is somehow the chapter where most people drop by and leave a couple kind words hehe still one of my favs, too!! i hope you enjoy the rest (and them being idiots bc it's far from being overrr 😂) and thank you for going through my beloved magnum opus!!! you described the scene in lights so beautifully, too, bc yeah oc really did breathe that sigh of relief :') if you ever paint anything like that, i'd love to see it :) hope to hear from you again soon 🤍

[edsbacktattoo]

would love to hear you talk about hades!! what’s your favorite character or story beat? who has the best boons? which weapon do you like the most?

oh my friend. oh my darling sweet friend. you have just opened a beautiful pandora’s box. in exchange i offer you my heart: ♥️

ok it is SO HARD TO CHOOSE A FAVOURITE. it’s super close between Thanatos and Zagreus because they’re both very special little angels to me. it’s the death and blood motif, it’s the red and purple, it’s their beautiful dynamic. like every time my boy Than shows up i gasp and go :0!!!!! at my screen. kicking my feet twirling my hair at him.

coming in at a close second/third is Achilles. oh i love him. he’s so beautiful. and then Patroclus and Dionysus and tisiphone and nyx and artemis and-

Favourite story beat?? SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT BABES

bringing persephone home. ouhhhghh. when charon is rowing you down the river and ‘In The Blood’ is playing as the credits roll? shut the fuck up. and then you see Hades get a verbal ass-kicking. perfection.

In terms of boons i tend to gravitate towards Poseidon, Artemis and Dionysus the most. Like there isn’t a single Artemis boon that i’m like :( this is useless to me. And I enjoy all their calls too!

and i will rank the weapons. this is correct and indisputable btw.

Shield (specifically with the aspect of zeus)

Fists

Sword

Spear

Gun

Bow (fuck the bow all my homies hate the bow)

i also have a slideshow presentation about how many shots i would have to ingest to hook up with all the characters in Hades, if you’re interested. it is, in fact, my magnum opus. spoiler, the answer is Not Many Shots for almost everyone.

thank you so much for asking me about this stupid dumb and wonderful game. I wanna know your favourites too!!!! favourite weapon, favourite god!!! do you pet cerberus every single time you’re in the house of hades??? do you ALWAYS greet the supportive shade in the colosseum? gimme the goods

[abnerkrill]

13, 14, 15, 16 :D

hi wren, thanks! <3

13. Favorite villain of the year

my brand is strong, i do enjoy a villain!!! answered here and here. joe mawle adar is always going to be in my heart but i do have hopes for hazeldine and i don't hold anything against him (really hoping the fandom is nice and reasonable about it shrug emoji!!)

runner-up: it is @brynnmclean's fault for making me care about halbrandsauron. i'm incensed. i have mairon feelings now. if i said that to myself from even a year ago i wouldn't have believed it.

14. Favorite m/f ship of the year

elendil/miriel :') the queen and lionheart vibes... the angst, the yearning, the doomed by the narrative of it all. they are both so very dead from the start and we're just watching them walk to the site of execution for several years. it's delicious. i'm crying.

i always play sol as a girl in teenage exocolonist so i'll also say sol/sym! it's literally in the text that they're star-crossed lovers. they're the two characters who don't experience time in a linear way and therefore understand each other best. he might not remember you on each new playthrough like you remember him, but he believes you without hesitation when you tell him you were lovers in another life. even before that, he follows you around like a lovesick puppy saving your life from all your dumb decisions until you chase him and catch him!!!!!

anyway here's sym falling to his death lol. don't worry he's fine, he's basically a mushroom who grows back!! but sol doesn't know that at first. and he always loses his memory of your first kiss. 😭

15. Favorite f/f ship of the year

love it for us that we all answered miriel/galadriel but it's TRUE it's SO POWERFUL. queen and knight vibes! i am going to write something for them, i swear it. runners-up: nori/poppy are sooo cute and i hope poppy comes back.

and they may have never met in canon, but on a spiritual level i think marta knives out/helen glass onion are destined to be lesbian lovers. it's what they (and i!) deserve.

16. Favorite m/m ship of the year

elrond/adar, elrond/durin, and adar/arondir! *runs away* you can't make me chooooose. elrond/adar is my pet project, the ship i launched all on my own, my magnum opus. elrond/durin is thiiiiiiis close to actual canon. adar/arondir is deliciously, inevitably tragic. they all mean so much to meeeee.

honorable mention to valandil/isildur (salute to @aadmelioraa, captain of the honorable ship.)

end of year fandom asks

[trimaplenut]

I went back and re-read Fairy Tails Ultimate Hope today, and I'd forgotten what a genuine joy it is to read. I remember keeping up with it when you were first posting it and it was always a blast finding a new chapter had been posted.. I know it's been years since it last updated and it's probably not going to again, but I just wanted to say thank you for writing it!

I’m glad you still enjoyed it! To think it’s one of those ones that people consider worth a re-read is real humbling lmao it was a bonkers premise.

[defensefilms]

Defense Films Names His Top 5 Favorite Rappers

In All It’s Infinite Glory And Magnanimity, Defense Gives You His Top 5 Favorite Rappers. 

5. 50 Cent 

To this day, when you need a playlist for a MMA class and the group is hella diverse, you’re not really sure which way to go with it, pop in that 50. Can’t go wrong with Get Rich Or Die Trying (the original), or even that G-Unit Beg For Mercy.

That run from late 2002-2005/06 was unlike anything you’ll ever see again. That was a perfect situation where there was organic support from fans and there were people at a business level, mainly 50, that knew how to turn it into the wave that it became and industry has been trying to replicate this ever since.

While most people remember is the numerous scandals, beefs and controversies of that time but it was the music that moved the audience. For all the ways 50 Cent’s success mirrors ruthless American capitalism, his debut album is low key one of the most inspiring albums you’ll ever listen to. 

It’s a foxhole mentality on wax. It’s me-versus-you type thinking. It’s someone has to lose and I’ll be damned. It’s who ever has to get hit, is gonna get hit. 

See the first time I listened to it, it was about “In Da Club”, “Wanksta”, you know the more palatable records that got on radio and all that but the more I listened the more I realized, it was actually built on the backs of songs like “Patiently Waiting”, “Many Men”, “Back Down”, “Don’t Push Me” and “Gotta Make It To Heaven”. On one side it’s as motivational as you can think of but it’s not the wacky kind of naivé motivational talk because it’s willing to get it’s hands dirty and go in to much grittier ideas. 

Like his predecessors, 50 pulls off the trick of balancing easy-to-listen-to records on a foundation of graphic and aggressive songs.  

Recommended Songs: Maybe We Crazy, When It Rains It Pours

4. Jedi Mind Tricks

I’ll give you props if you know who these man are but they are legends. Point blank. Violent By Design will forever rank as one of the great group albums in hip-hop history.  Vinny Paz, Jus Allah and producer/DJ Stoupe The Enemy of Mankind, gave hip-hop a shockwave they weren’t ready for, especially back in 1999.

Hip-hop as a business wasn’t ready to market a group, whose themes were rooted in topics like government control, military warfare, covert control tactics, religion and psychological warfare. To have all that in one bundle wasn’t something that big time A&R’s were ready for. 

Had they started this group in 2010, they would have walked in to a business landscape that was far more suitable to who they were as an act and as MC’s. 

Even with that JMT still enjoyed a lot of notoriety and they definitely succeeded in establishing their following, despite the odds. 

While Violent By Design may serve as the magnum opus of their body of work, their run really starts in 1997 with the Psycho-Social, Biological & Electro-Magnetic Manipulation Of Human Kind. 

Yes guy, that’s an album title. You gotta think now, I was in high school the first time I heard this and I was very into conspiracy theories and nonsense, so this album hit me right between the eyes. The idea that someone could use the medium of hip-hop in this way was crazy and the album would have been more than 10 years old when I first heard it.

No, the hip-hop historians among us will argue that Wu-Tang were a better and more influential group and I’d tend to agree, I can also bust back and say, “these dudes took Wu-Tang’s formula and gave it a whole different edge.”

 I’ll break it to you like this, Wu-Tang gave the world swordsmanship and the first projectile weapons like bow and arrows, spears and the likes. Jedi Mind Tricks gave the world gun powder, advanced modern explosives and semi-automatics. You see what I mean?

Recommended Songs: Untitled, Retaliation Remix

3. Jay-Z

No top rappers list is complete without my man. The only reason he ain’t higher is because, I rate a rapper more highly if they’re in the prime of their musical abilities. If this were an all-time list he’d be way way higher. 

Beginning with Reasonable Doubt is really the only place to start when it comes to Jay. The production, the skits, the way every sentence was so tightly wound together, the word selection and sentence construction. It’s remembered as an album of hits because of tracks like “Cant Knock The Hustle”, ”Feelin It” and “Brooklyn’s Finest” but Reasonable Doubt was really defined by “Dead Presidents”, “D’evils”, “Politics As Usual” and “Can I Live”. 

The first batch of songs gave the album some relatability, as far as depicting club vibes and nightlife glamour because that second batch of songs were all built on darker themes like betrayal, jealousy, greed, blind ambition and deception. That combination of themes as well as the production to match each one is why that album will always rank high among a certain listenership. 

With that being said, never make the mistake of thinking Jay or any man is perfect. There’s like a 3 album run where there’s moments of dope-ness but not a truly complete album. 

Still with that, songs like “Imaginary Player” and “Where I’m From” will rank among his best songs.

It’s only when you get to The Blueprint can you start to see Jay perfecting the art of crafting, whole, complete albums that bump from start to finish. The Blueprint was near perfection in this regard. “U Don’t Know”, “Heart Of The City” and “Momma Loves Me” will rank as his best efforts and yeah, I skipped a few.

The Black Album replicated the Blueprint’s listenability, while also dealing in topics that created an album that sounded very personal to Jay. 

All told, the best parts of his catalogue are so strong that there is no denying his place on my list.

Recommended Songs: Dead Presidents, I Love The Dough

2. Action Bronson

I cannot for the life of me fathom how this man doesn’t get the love but the real ones know. 

The mixtape download era (2010-2017 give or take), had many unlikely success stories. An overweight white guy, who grew up cooking in his parents deli/eatery, turned pro-chef then turned rapper, is beyond unlikely. Only the internet could allow this man to succeed and thank the hip-hop gods it did.

From 2012 to about 2018, Action was one of the only constants in my playlist. I still remember where I was the first time I heard “Brunch”. His catalogue starting with the Tommy Mas produced, Dr Lecter and boasting full collaborations albums along side Statik Selektah and the Alchemist, and of course the classic Blue Chips series. This man’s prime will be underrated. 

If you’re going to take one chapter of Bronson’s art and study it, it’s going to be Blue Chips 1 and 2. Both are thematically perfect without ever trying to be. Which is what allowed Party Supplies to make production choices that grabbed you from the jump. From the first time you hit play on the opening of Blue Chips 1, you’re hit with the sound of falling shards of glass and a violin sound that makes the opening song un-skippable. The songs themes are also a perfect introduction to the man himself. Debauchery, expensive taste, hedonism, revelry, unabashed pleasure-seeking, drug use and just enough self-depreciation that you felt you were along for the ride rather than just a fly on the wall, turning your nose in disgust. It was a perfect mixtape, at a time when mixtapes were at a crazy dumb high standard.

It’s not so much that a rapper made punchlines about food, that would be an over-simplification and really missing the trick. It’s that he made everything he said sound like the dopest thing ever and the most underrated trick about his music is that he made grown man rap without needing to be thuggin’. A rare feat. 

Bronson has since gone on to establish himself as a content creator/producer/food review guy but man, what he accomplished as a complete body of work is nothing short of astonishing.

Recommended Songs: Midget Cough, Bonzai

1. Headie One

So it’s late last year. I’m hanging with my boy Phil and Brown, we had just finished some content and Phil says ���yo listen to this”. He proceeds to play Golden Boot and it hasn’t stopped bumping since. 

A UK rapper with a lyrical nous and wit that rivals even legends like Jay-Z, but rapping over trap and drill beats. What Headie One is doing is not the norm and I’m talking in terms of his lyrics, sentence construction, word selection, metaphors, he does it all and like all the greats, he makes it look easy. 

His collaboration with RV definitely helped mold him, with both the “Sticks and Stones” and “Drillers and Trappers” mixtapes giving you an idea of what Headie offers as a lyricist. He compliments RV’s brash, aggressive boasts with slightly less obvious but incredibly witty boasts of his own.

His discography though really starts to peak with 2018′s “The One”. That’s where Headie begins find a sweet spot between his lyrics, production and the themes of his songs. A mixtape like this can only exist via independent release because outside of the aforementioned “Golden Boot”, ain’t none of those songs getting any radio play especially in a country as “conservative” as England. Even in a genre saturated with gangsta/trap, “The One” stands out for what he accomplishes lyrically.

Headie would follow that by releasing “The One Two” in June of 2018 and he ascends even more in what he’s able to accomplish with the words.

 The track “Banter On Me” should be in an all-time list somewhere for being the wittiest track of all time. The song is literally just Headie finding new and innovative ways to boast, call out and bait his foes. Hip-hop/Rap has plenty of beef songs that weren’t really direct call outs to any known public figure but were still definitely taking shots at someone. 50 cent’s “Wanksta” and “Officer Down” are some examples of such songs I can think of. Those did not really have the kind of wit Headie displays here. The constant streams of alliterations, double meanings, puns, metaphors, inferences and innuendos is just astonishing. There’s a real mastery of language at play here. The song is a lesson in language, no textbooks. 

Headie has since released his debut album along with additional tracks for the delux version of the album. His debut studio release “Edna” does what studio releases are supposed to do. “Parle-Vouz Anglais” and “Aint It Different” will standout and are difinitely the most palatable songs as far as radio play. Those are the 2 songs I’d play for first time listeners. 

Recommended Songs: Hard To Believe, Dues, Zodiac

[deathdesu]

1a, 1c and 5f?

thanks for the ask anon!! uhhh my answers are all gonna relate to ZTD  because it’s my favorite though lmao  

1a. Favorite character - Mira! I like to think that Mira and Eric are tied because I love them both and I love their dynamic, but Mira gains the edge because I wound up doing so much analysis on her - particularly gaps that the canon leaves to fill. If you’re new to my tumblr, this is my magnum opus ! But there’s also my genius head canons like her day job being a flight attendant for Delta Airlines.  

1c. Favorite escape room - Pod room! The way you whack the room around with the hammer is really interesting, and I really enjoyed the sweet moment with Sean and Eric at the beginning and the way they interact like dumb siblings throughout it. It’s also good because you learn about Eric’s PTSD and see him triggered by the parallels between how Mira and Chris died... it puts all of his actions in perspective. And of course, messing with Eric by giving him every answer you can think of in that one part is one of the meme goldmines in ZTD, but then the answer being admitting you don’t know is kind of a soft, fitting and underrated decision puzzle. Honestly I really like this timeline’s writing in general. The ‘Shoot me, I won’t die’ scene is so good. 

5f. Rant about something you disliked from the games - D END 2 IS COMPLETELY UPSETTING AND NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL. I absolutely hate that Sigma slaps Diana mere minutes after revealing her abuse backstory, and how they inevitably have sex when she’s so plastered even he says she’s not herself and refused it earlier on that basis. And that’s not even getting into how angry it made me that Phi was their daughter. Honestly I wanted Diana/Phi after their DCOM scene in Fire, and with how Sigma was like ‘Diana is just like Luna, and I see Luna as my daughter,’ that grossed me even more that they got together romantically, not to mention that he was mentally 60 and Diana was half his age. Uggggh...... I loved D Team for most of the game, but this ruined them for me. Even ignoring that I thought that scene was horrible, Phi deserved so much better in terms of backstory. Like... at least give her some spotlight in this instead of putting it all on Delta! Why the hell would you not make old lady Phi be Zero then?? That would have been way more interesting at least. 

man.... I wish you’d given me one more question so this could be a compliment sandwich, what a dramatically sour note to end on :’D  oh well. have an unrelated meme about G-OLM rights 

[vixensheart]

1, 3, 11, 17 please dear! ♥♥

Lol Ama beat you to 3 & 11 RIP

1. Tell us about your current project(s) - what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it? 

Ohohohoho >:D 

Sword in the Stone- my izuocha centric fantasy AU. 

Midoriya Izuku dreamed of things; of swords and knights and magic and fire. As the keeper of the sheep and no fire of his own, he resigned himself to a life filled with monotony. Keeping the sheep was all he could offer for his clan, after all.

Until he interrupted the Trails, and saved the life of Bakugou Katsuki.

Exiled, Midoriya runs for his life. Chased by the past and monsters lurching forth from the shadows, he finds himself in a new city, with new friends and a new lease on life.

And then he finds a sword, a sword encased in stone.

Basically it follows Midoriya Izuku and how he finds this magical sword and becomes thrown into this destiny where he becomes an adventurer/hero, also known as the Champion. 

Right now we’re at eleven chapters and number twelve is in progress, so things are going alright, lol. Though, this is probably going to be a saga of sorts so we have quite a bit of story left. 

I love the whole fantasy AU thing. I just love fantasy, and it’s been a fun challenge taking a crack at it creatively. Growing up, I’ve read a TON of fantasy, though a lot of it centered around anthropomorphic animals (lol Redwall). I also love weaving actual canon into an AU setting. It’s a fun challenge, getting to reinterpret the great canon story we’ve been given into a new context for the characters to explore the world in. Idk, it’s just a lot of fun. Plus. Magic swords. 

Hell yeah. 

An Abundance of Penguin Shit- my kiribaku animal handler AU

Penguins are overrated, in Katsuki's mind. They smell, they're loud, and they shit every ten minutes. How he ended up working with them, he doesn't know, but he hates it.

Okay, so maybe he needed a pay raise. Sue him. That doesn't mean he enjoys it. It's hard to enjoy getting bit every time he so much as looks at a penguin, after all. Let alone when he tries to handle one.

It certainly doesn't help that he keeps getting paired with Kirishima, who's all smiles and way too damn friendly for his own good.

~

Or, when Katsuki works as an animal handler because he's broke and hungry, and inadvertently warms up to both the penguins, and a certain red-haired boy.

Listen. This story started off as a really spur of the moment, stupid idea, lmao. It was supposed to be a short dumb twitter thread and now it’s a monster resting at 95k. And we only have eight chapters. XD I DON’T KNOW HOW WE GOT HERE BUT WE’RE HERE. 

Penguin shit is, essentially, a love letter to my life. Maybe that’s why it’s so long, idk. But anyway, Cookie knows this but I am an animal handler in real life. I work at a real accredited aquarium with the ambassador collection, which is a lot of reptiles and some penguins, and I educate. It’s so much fun, and I thought one day “lol wouldn’t it be funny if Bakugou held some penguins”. And then I couldn’t not write it. 

It’s also largely a character study on Bakugou Katsuki. He’s one of my favorite characters, and I’m fascinated by his canon arc and wanted to just poke around his brain and figure out how he worked, if that makes sense, lol. How could Bakugou fall in love with someone while holding penguins? Poetic, I know. Lmao. But really, it’s near and dear to my heart because it revolves around things I’m incredibly passionate about and I just. I love it. My magnum opus and it’s penguin shit, lmao. 

17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations? 

Ho boy. I honestly don’t even know. It’s obvious that readers would in some way perceive my work differently- I am the creator, I know where we are and where we’re going and I know my own flaws. But my readers don’t necessarily know all of those things. I guess I don’t really think about this too much- I try to write first and foremost for myself, and because I have an itch that needs scratched, so I scratch it. People liking it just adds fuel to the fire, and it’s more than I can really ask. UwU 

I don’t know if people perceive me differently, though. How can anyone really know that? ^^; 

THANKS FOR THE QUESTIONS <3

[thephantomporg84]

[REDACTED] be complaining reg. the reactions of having "placed the cultist island Fortuna off the coast of Florida" while having the gall of "It’s the story & the way it’s told that should fucking matter" & "Who cares? It’s fictional geography, you idiots." Feels a bit like failing World-Building 101. I mean, Red Grave based on London would also be a callback to Dante's early concept of being a Brit.

Someone already sent me the whole post of hers that I’m pretty sure you’re referring to lmao. I’m in a particularly cunty but pleasant mood rn, and analysis is kind of my thing, so lets’s break it down, shall we?

Maybe someone can send this her way and… learn that tiny little brain of hers a thing. 😉

It’s fictional geography called world building, you idiots Karen after the cut:

‘I love how a number of shitheels have screeched amongst themselves on this hellsite about how I had placed the cultist island Fortuna off the coast of Florida or somewhere around the Gulf US states (re: the fanfic & project link in my header), whining that it should’ve been in Europe, namely Italy.’

An admission to stalking profiles is not exactly the best way to start a self-righteous rant or advertise your… magnum opus, but go off, I guess.

‘Not only that, but they whined about “plotholes and inconsistencies” without elaborating on what the latter are. The asshole who made the rant was annoyed when I used a poem as a spell in the story (“if I heard that, I’d turn off my PS4.”), but I’m sure she didn’t bitch about the cutscene before the last Agnus boss fight in DMC4.’

Like the movie The Room (2003), it’s just easier to say “all of it” is bad because “all of it” contains plotholes and is inconsistent in tone, has terrible half-baked ideas and plot threads that remain unresolved and/or do nothing to further the plot, is rife with poor + inconsistent characterization, has a lack of any knowledge how the medium it exists in is made, and in general makes me wonder how much pottery enamel you’ve been huffing to think any of this was a good idea. Howeverrrr, in contrast to you, Tommy Wiseau is kind of odd and weirdly charming both in general and about his terrible movie — he’s found glory and success in its terribleness. You, in contrast, remain a miserable cunt with delusions of grandeur.

Dante and Agnus’ Shakespeare bit is actually a pretty well known trope called Ham-to-Ham Combat. Dante and Agnus are both ridiculous Large Hams in DMC4, and when two Large Hams meet, in general, they are likely gonna try to ‘out-over dramatic’ each other. This can lead to a scene becoming either really funny or really corny (or both) really fast. If things go too far — and they do, in this case — the scene can become a Hormel Event Horizon.

‘…but they LOVE the plotholes & inconsistencies if Capcom makes the latter, and writes a terrible story! And Crapcom’s canon for DMC is as straight as a paperclip or a dog’s hind leg. Hypocritical pricks.’

Subjective opinion is not, and never will be, objective fact. People are, as of when I checked again in the last ~5 minutes or so, absolutely able to enjoy whatever media they want regardless of what the general consensus on the quality of that media is.

As an example, I enjoy The Room (2003) despite its terribleness and it never fails to make me laugh, while your magnum opus makes me want to huff pottery enamel so the pain will stop despite you thinking it is the work of an idiot savant.

‘They were also mad that I wrote Dante as a wiseguy who is a little more low-key about it due to the circumstances— instead of being a pathetic manchild airhead that tries too hard.’

You didn’t write Dante.

You wrote Reboot!Donte — a fucking terribly out of character version of him, at that.

‘I was primarily concerned about moving the story along. I didn’t care about where a fictional island is supposed to go.’

You literally had one (1) job, Karen.

‘…Meanwhile, not a single character in DMC4 had an Italian accent, so uh, why should I give a flying fuck where I put it?’

Haven’t you been like… shitting on the DMC staff… for terrible writing… this enti— You know what? You’re obvs way too dumb to notice that contradiction, so I’ll let it slide.

Just… a word of advice, if I may? Don’t ever watch dub TV shows. That last brain cell would fuckin’ just burst all over your carpet.

(Actually, don’t watch subtitled shows either. An extremely popular anime that was set in Italy just wrapped and all the characters — le gasp! — spoke fucking Japanese. You would shit.)

‘I wasn’t paid to write any of what I wrote, but be my guest & send a PM if you want to throw money at me. By all means, do that.’

Oh, thank fuck, because they would have been ripped off, big time.

[ btw, you sound p. jealous of people that write/do creative work/commissions for ko-fi/payment tho. Not a good look tbbh. If it’s any consolation, though, I don’t get paid for making fun of you and/or analyzing your dumb bullshit, either. :( ]

‘The pricks at Capcom didn’t even bother giving us a proper DMC4 and it was a half-assed game, with the latter half being hasty filler material. The “special edition” they coughed up in 2015 was just glorified overpriced DLC.’

Ya know, you gotta be pretty far up your own ass to think this much of your opinion. And I’m saying this as a person that’s pretty far up her own ass like 85% of the time.

‘And another thing, Redgrave City in DMC5 seems to be in England, yet no survivors speak with English accents or slang/dialects.’

Pretty sure no survivors had speaking roles.

If you played the game you’d know this.

‘Meanwhile, Dante and Vergil had lived there when they were kids (until age 8), but they both have ordinary American or Canadian accents. Furthermore, how did the twins make it to the USA or Canada? According to the little booklet in the DMC1 game case, Dante’s office is in modern America.’

You know that invoking the imagery of a specific place without naming your location is normal and standard practice, right? Overwatch even does this (For Ex: Byōdō-in (平等院), Uji, Kyoto Prefecture, Japan is the inspiration for Hanamura, Château de Duingt, Duingt, France for Château Guillard, etc.)

Furthermore, you know the original DMC was a rejected first draft of Resident Evil 4, right? This is what retcon is for. You at least know what retcon is, right?

‘…That information isn’t very important, but I’m bringing it up to illustrate a point that being a fucking pedant about geography in a fantasy game is idiotic, even if the setting is akin to modern Earth.’

So is freaking the fuck out and sending death threats over a fantasy game but you didn’t let that stop you either lmfao.

It’s actually super important to establish your scenery and the way your world operates, especially in a written work in which readers are dependent on your vision and your descriptions, and if you were a decent writer, you’d know this.

‘It’s the story & the way it’s told that should fucking matter.’

YOU HAD ONE (1) JOB, KAREN.

‘What US states are the Arklay Mountains located in?’

General description puts them in the U.S. Midwest. Raccoon City itself is stated to have a population of ~100,000 at the time of outbreak, and the only city in the Midwest that matches that population in 1998 is Springfield, Missouri, with a pop. of ~110,000.

Springfield is on the Springfield Plateau of the Ozarks region of SW Missouri. So they’re part of the Ozark Mountains.

This all took less than ~3 minutes to google, btw.

‘Where is “Zanzibar Land?”’

I actually just wrote a comprehensive answer to an ask a few weeks ago about this. It’s actually stated to be in Tselinoyarsk (Целиноярск), the (fictional) area of the former USSR in which Big Boss carried out the Virtuous Mission/Operation Snake Eater in 1964. Tselinoyarsk itself is heavily implied to consist of parts of Kyrgyzstan and/or Tajikistan. If you played MGS3 you’d know how important the setting and the varied environments/climates are to the game mechan-

oh yeah wait you believe in segregation of story and gameplay mechanics. I forget you’re completely tone deaf sometimes lmao.

How far is ‘Salem’s Lot or Derry from Bangor? Who cares?’

Stephen King does, quite a bit. He even has a map on his website of ‘his’ fictional version of Maine:

My disappointment is immeasurable, Karen.

[coronavirusarchives]

April 8, 00:50 am

An update. A long update. A rambling update. I will start with the negative and end with the positive because that feels right. (Aka I'm gonna complain for a paragraph straight and then list good happenings. (This is most definitely not an exercise in trying to fall asleep.))

School has started again, and although we've only had two days of classes I already have no motivation to do anything, and less than none for half of my classes. I don't want to do this for an entire quarter at home, I just don't care about so much of it and don't see how I could. I played over five hours of minecraft today. My mom's cough has gotten worse which is a bad sign whether or not it's coronavirus because she's had it for a few weeks now. I'm starting to get worried it's something else and bad entirely but she doesn't want to go to a doctor right now (understandably). Maybe she got it and got over it and this is just the remnants of her respiratory system still being irritated, but I dont know. I think that would be a best case scenario though. I also have a cough which doesn't make any fucking sense because I haven't left the house in 3 weeks, but I'm stressed as fuck about that too. My brother was sick a bit ago but idk how sick because he was clearly trying to downplay it because he's been going to see his girlfriend a shit ton, which I still think is a dumb fuck idea because then if any of our two families gets sick then we're all fucked and they're apparently not being as careful. It's just so fucking weird to be thinking about things in this way. I have yet to fix my sleep schedule so am sleep deprived and reading the news is insanely saddening.

Alright, now onto the good. My dad isn't worried about my cough because no one else seems sick, and as far as I'm concerned unless he starts coughing we're chilling. This is also the longest I've ever stayed at my dad's house and it's awesome. I love this place and two days ago I actually put things away into drawers and organized my desk for the first time in all three (3!) years of living here on/off. Having to do schoolwork is grating and frustrating but I'm really enjoying the structured schedule, complete with things like making breakfast/coffee and having the same classes consistently in the mornings (even if they're at 8 am). My math professor this quarter is also wonderful so the 8 am classes aren't too bad. My astrobiology class is also going to be insanely easy because I'm certain I could pass it right now with the knowledge I already have, but the professor seems really interesting—HE BUILDS HIS OWN TELESCOPES—so I'm going to ask him about space stuff (THE TELESCOPES). Washington has very successfully flattened the curve and the projected peak was 5 (now 6) days ago, and there are no shortages of ICU beds. As this is the positive section, I'm going to refrain from thinking about literally anywhere else because that will make this way too saddening and I need to sleep soon. My minecraft house that I've built these past few days is possibly my magnum opus. There's only one other I've built that could possibly match up to it, but that was on an old computer that my brother has most certainly dissected for parts and wiped the harddrive of in the many, many years since.

That is all. Thank you.

[hongism]

AND LIKE NGL . i wasn't planning on making this blog public but your last wooyoung fic literally had me S C R E A M I N G sending one (1) anon ask just WOULDN'T do it i NEEDED to come into ur askbox and yell abt it otherwise i'd be like that one pic where this dude is sitting down but hes glowing,,,, yeah that was me by the time i finished reading. i keep yelling to my bestie YET AGAIN for her to read it but she won't im about to bring the guns out,,, ANWYAYS i love ur fics sm!! (2/?)

oh lord how do i even start this,,,, UHH hiii! i've been a silent reader of yours for awhile now (more specifically since your 1st kinktober post LOL) and LORDT you have absolutely no idea how much i love your writing,,, i pretty much read all of them (a few are missing but ill def read it when i have the time) and i remember checking your blog everyday to see if you had posted an update bc i loved it THAT much,,, i remember spamming my bestie abt it too bc i just. NEEDED to share it. (1/?lmao)

i'm planning on start reading mist of celeste soon since ik it's ur biggest work and o h b o y i am curious abt it,,,, AHHH i think thats it,,, i just,,, tysm for sharing ur work!! writing is /not/ easy and you always pull like fics with 5k+ words and that is so time consuming and mentally tiring, i appreciate u sm for it srsly </333 watch me reblog every work of urs SOON and have a mental breakdown on the tags,,, (3/3 yasss)

okay tumblr apparently ate your first ask but i KNOW i got it bc i got the email notif for it so i just copy pasted from there so that’s why they’re all out of whack order god this website is always on some dumb shit T-T but THANK YOU. the love that wooyoung fic has gotten has made me soso happy, i loved writing it and it spiraled out of control in the best way and im simply so happy with it and so happy that it’s been received well and loved as well ;-;

if you do decide to read mists of celeste!!! i hope you enjoy!!! she’s def a lot but she’s my magnum opus for sure, thank you so much for this, it’s so sweet and touching and AHHHH im so grateful this is such a lovely message to come back to ;-;

[eloarei]

Creator 2017 tag Meme

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you’ve created this year (fics, art, edits, etc!) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in 2017. Tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original!) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works. <3

Tagged by @enchantedtalisman Thanks!! ^^ (Sorry if it doesn’t tag you. Tumblr’s dumb sometimes.)  1. Make the Most    [Izuku was always told it was impossible for him to get into UA, impossible to meet All Might, impossible to become a hero. Well he doesn’t believe in ‘impossible’ anymore. BnHA, DekuMight, college AU, 41k]     ---My first bnha fic, the one that catapulted me into this precious sub-fandom. I made a bunch of great friends and had SO many nice comments that have kept me going for months! Thanks to this fic and this fandom, I think I’ve really grown as a writer!  2. Rogue     [It’s been a hard 150 years for Hanna, pretending he’s not haunted by the demons of his past. It’s gonna be an even harder week, pretending he’s never met this amnesiac zombie before. HINABN, Hanna/Zombie, semi-historical AU, 141k and probably my magnum opus]      ---My first and longest and most painstaking longfic! I worked on this for over 2 years! It’s my darling. The fandom’s dead so it’s only gotten a little attention, but I’m very proud of it. This fic is THE reason I am the writer I am now. (Technically, most of this fic was written previous years, but I did finish it this year, so I’m counting it.)  3. Thanks to You     [All Might’s grandma is, quote, “not likely to live another year”, and all she wants is to see her grandson married. So, having only been dating a few months, Izuku is shopping for wedding rings. Because what better time than Thanksgiving to lie to your whole family? BnHA, DekuMight, future fic/ fake married trope/ holiday vacation, 27k]     ---A silly and lighthearted fic, but something I’ve never tried before. I followed a schedule and deadline for this fic, specifically with the intention of having it ready to read on the relevant day, and I had a lot of fun with it! Also I unexpectedly made myself cry on the Thanksgiving chapter hahaha 4. Atlas     [”I’ll never wander on my own, for I am yours until you call me home. I close my eyes and I can hear you say, ‘You’re not alone’.” BnHA, DekuMight, mythological AU, 4.5k]     ---Possibly one of my favorite fics to ever just happen. I’d never written anything that was supposed to read (somewhat) like a piece of mythology before, and I enjoyed it! I still get kinda mushy over this one.  5. Touch     [At a very young age, Izuku could feel his mysterious soulmate’s pain. Who was this person person who hurt so badly, and was there nothing he could do? Would a simple touch make all the pain worth it? BnHA, DekuMight, soulmate AU, 6.5k]      ---Again, this one just happened very spontaneously, but I really liked the capacity this idea had for external turmoil and drama, and internal peace. It’s a fun AU and my only problem is that the sequel doesn’t seem to want to end XD  Honestly, I have had more fun writing this year than probably the rest of my life combined. I’ve really hit my stride, it feels like, fallen into my niche. I can only hope that it continues! Thanks to everyone who’s been along for the journey!  And now to tag a few folks: @oldseablues @braincoins @thenightisdarkandfullofbooty @steelybanchodraws @godshattered @orionskingdom and any other artists/authors out there! 

[thefanandthecritic]

10 Songs that I wish were talked about more - Part 1

Hello. Why yes, it has been a while. Full-time work will do that to a man. Unfortunately, it looks like my schedule is going to remain horrifically inconsistent for the foreseeable future, as teaching’s erratic work schedule means I cannot guarantee my time. I have noticed, though, that the twelve of you who follow me have not ditched. Thank you a million times for that. As a peace-offering, I have decided to put together something light and fluffy, and it doesn’t get lighter and fluffier than a listicle. Thus, we are here.

A few provisos and quid pro quos:

1. I am going to state upfront that I have used two entries for one band on this list. Yes, it bothers some people, but they are my absolute favourite band and one song would not cut it.

2. It is entirely rock music. If fans of any other genre were getting hopeful, then I apologise, but I cannot satisfy you today.

Other than that, enjoy it. I love these songs and wanted to give them their due. Please comment entries you would love to have on here.

10. If These Trees Could Talk - Barren Lands of the Modern Dinosaur

If These Trees Could Talk are a band that really somehow should be much more respected in the post rock sphere than they are. Their latest album, “The Bones of a Dying World”, is a thunderous post metal colossus that impresses so much with its immense climaxes and stunningly beautiful interludes that it is almost required listening for those who want to know what metal would be like without the hit or miss vocals.

The album prior to that, however, features one of my absolute favourite post rock tracks: Barren Lands of the Modern Dinosaur. What begins as a soothing drifter of a song with delicate melodic lead guitars and a lumbering, deliberate bass-line slowly builds itself over the course of about 2 to 3 minutes before letting its guitars and drums growl with all the menace of the terrible lizards themselves. This song is a fantastically constructed piece of music. Why this song is not spoken about in post rock circles, I will never know, but I want to carry its banner for as long as I can. Find this on iTunes, buy it from the band’s website, stream it below, just do something to hear it. It’s worth every second.

P.S. This song has such a clever title. Seriously. It looks like gibberish at first, but if you think about it, it makes a heck of a lot of sense. What were the Dinosaurs? The dominant species which ruled the earth in their time. What happened to them? They became extinct. So that would mean that the “modern dinosaur” is the whatever rules the earth now as the dominant species. It also means that the “modern dinosaur” will one day be extinct. Think about it. Not so dumb, now, is it?

9. Brand New - Jesus Christ

I have never really been much of a fan of Brand New. I can respect their viciously raw, earnest approach for what it is, but my ears just cannot handle the wall of sound that they are so known for. This song is the one exception to this. Holy damn-diddly-skritt, this song is a doggone masterpiece. I’ve spoken in a previous review about how this song’s atmosphere is so soothing and serene that it transports me to a pastoral orchard in the mountains, and that perception hasn’t changed.

Every time this song comes on, I can smell the early-morning mist trickling down through the trees, and I can hear the leaves whisper in a light breath of wind. It is staggeringly beautiful in how well it handles its melody, but that isn’t the only part of the song that works. The lyrics are incredible, mapping out a man’s existential fears as he holds a one-way conversation with the titular son of God. He debates his misgivings with Christian doctrine, but ultimately admits how flawed of a person he is, and resigns himself to whatever fate comes of being himself in one of the most emotionally resonant pieces of writing I have ever heard in rock music. To cap it all off, it has one of the best closing lines in rock history. Find this song. Listen to it when you’re in a pensieve mood, and you may find yourself drifting off to that orchard, too.

8. Blink 182 - Rollercoaster

Blink-182 are still one of my favourite bands. I have such a weakness for their brand of catchy pop-punk that I should probably be on chronic medication for it. Even if you don’t know about them, you’ve probably heard “All the Small Things” enough times to want to drive a nail-gun through your skull, but there is so much more to this band than that song. The rest of Enema of the State (the unfortunate name of the album that All the Small Things comes from) is a fun, cheeky, if a little crass romp through a teenager’s world; The self-titled record is a masterclass in hard-edged pop-punk viscera; Neighborhoods is a highly underrated exploration of melancholy, and Take Off Your Pants and Jacket is a riot of stellar hooks and cheekiness. If you found that monster hit single to be a grating mess of a thing, then there is something in the band’s discography that should offer you a panacea.

It is off of Take of Your Pants that this entry comes. You’ve no doubt heard of “First Date” or “Stay Together for the Kids”, and I’ve heard many people say that “Reckless Abandon” is their favourite off of the album, but why in god’s name does nobody talk about “Rollercoaster”? This song is so infectious that if it were a baseball, everyone would catch it. It is made of one of the most joyous hooks Blink ever crafted and the lyrics do an infinitely superior job to “First Date” of capturing the awkwardness of teenage romance. Where “First Date” was all about the goofiness of not knowing what to do on a date, “Rollercoaster” is about the nightmare of feelings that happens before you even pick up the phone, something that relates to most any teen out there. And even if the band’s use of the metaphor of “love is a rollercoaster” is a bit on the stale side of cliche, when Tom de Longe lays down that riff, you won’t care, because you’ll be having too much fun.

[Friendly warning: Foul Language inbound]

7. Paramore - Careful

Paramore’s Brand New Eyes is a good album. To be more specific, a good album with a great song. If your immediate response was, “Hell yeah, ‘Ignorance’ is my jam,” then you and I are going to be exchanging words. Not that I have anything in particular against that song. It deserved to be the hit that it was. It is not, however, the band firing on all cylinders.

The song where that IS the case would be “Careful”. I’d go as far as to say that after “Careful” explodes Brand New Eyes into life, the album never really recaptures that level of hard-edged pop-punk glory, and for that reason, I’ve always had an issue listening to the album all the way through. If you’re looking for something to pump your blood on a slow day, then look no further than Josh Faro’s shrieking lead riff and brother Zach’s pelting drums for your thrills. Hayley Williams delivers the goods on vocals as per usual, and Bassist Jeremy Davis keeps pace with everyone else brilliantly, providing an under-appreciated layer of complexity underneath all the flash of the rest of the band. Take a listen to this song if you want to know why people go gaga over this band.

6. Jimmy Eat World - Clarity

I couldn’t go for too long without my favourite band making it on here. Jimmy Eat World at one point were inescapable during the early 2000s, when Bleed American was on every radio and in every teen movie. An entire generation lived their lives forever haunted by the phrase, “Hey! Don’t write yourself off yet”, but the tragedy of that album is that it’s the one everybody knows despite it not being remotely close to the band’s best work (fight me on that if you want). That title goes to the band’s magnum opus, “Clarity”.

Now heralded as one of the greatest album’s of the 90s, “Clarity” was a disappointment to fans and the record label initially, and was over-shadowed by its successor’s monstrous popularity. If you find the time to listen to it, however, you’ll be greeted by an absolutely breath-taking meld of alt-rock and punk, with some of the most ambitious production of any album to date. Each and every song on the album is an example of the band’s excellent and diverse song-writing skills, but it’s the title track that’s going to get my vote today. “Clarity” is an explosive and potent piece of pop-punk that pushes lead vocalist Jim Adkins to his absolute limit. The energy of the song constantly ratchets up all the way through until the final minute, in which Adkins unleashes the best vocal moment of his career, holding a terrific note for nearly ten seconds straight… twice in a row, all the while landing a simple but killer solo that swirls around him in a spectacular musical moment. Give this album a shake, but if you only want one song to sample, this is it. Or “For Me This Is Heaven”. Or “Lucky Denver Mint.” Or “Just Watch the Fireworks”. Any of those, really. The album’s great. Listen to it.

So ends part one. If these tickled your fancy, stick around for when part two arrives in the next couple of days.

[sunbroofomegle]

uumm i guess i’ll tag @vkm11 and @sunbroofomegle since they’re my cool friends! (edit: totally didnt add these later cause i forgot their urls @daftbutts @aliendoc) Alright, ladies and gents, more specifically @enkyostar, @jakerdoodle, and @allosauroid, we in this.

Five Things You’ll Find In My Bag:

Assuming this is for a bag I currently have and use for class...

1. Small sketchbook of just a bunch of doodles. Nothing really out of the ordinary

2. Tiny sketchbook used as notes for the various cryptids of the realm of one Savannah art school. It’s still being worked on, but it’s a personal project I think will be fun to just have. It’s sortof like a journal and informative book of the friends and scares of this realm. Maybe when I work on it more, I’ll share it with you all~ 

3. A bunch of pencils of various types. Got some prismacolors in there, some mechanical pencils of varying lead sizes, a lot of graphite pencils, it’s a mess. I need a new one, it has a giant hole in the side, but I’ve had this one since around the start of high school. I have sentimental attachment, y’know? It’s been there since I decided to become an artist. I can’t just throw that away.

4. Binders filled with notes. Lots of stuff on art history, game design, and game tech. I also have a bunch of other notes from classes that I get too lazy to put into a separate box that I have of all my old stuff, all organized and safe at home back in Jersey.

5. If I need it, my laptop. I usually don’t bring it around everywhere because I don’t usually need it outside of my dorm, but if there would be a 5th object in there, that would be it. I really don’t carry much...

Five Things You’ll Find In My Bedroom: (the most important place to me)

1. My laptop. I need it to do work, my dude.

2. My tablet. I need it to do work, my dude

3. The various silly little memorabilia in my room. I can’t just name one, they’re all too important to me

4. Video games of all kinds. Like before, I cannot just name one. It’s too much.

5. MY HELMET WHEN IT’S NOT ON MY HEAD HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Five Things I Want To Do With My Life: (I hate this question...)

1. Well, I want to be a game designer, preferably a texture artist, possibly environment artist. 

2. I guess just be able to do art for a living. It’s a hobby I want to make my lifestyle and it’s something I both enjoy and feel I can consider myself good at.

3. Sortof settle down in a nice, cold suburban area. Nice, quiet, peaceful. Y’know, the quiet life.

4. I can’t name much else. Maybe just have a relaxed life. A wife and kids in the distant future sounds nice, too...

5. I guess try to find a way to be happy consistently, especially nowadays. I can’t think of much else that wouldn’t be said in one of the future questions. I’m also not good with these, honestly.

Five Things That Make Me Happy:

1. DARK SOULS, BABYYYYY

2. Video games as a whole, really. They also make me sad, but that’s because I love them.

3. The closer friends I have here. They’re assholes, but they make me feel wanted. This blog also applies. You’re all so wonderful and I cannot thank you all enough. You make me actually feel like myself, and I really appreciate that.

4. Getting compliments on my work. I’ll shit on it, but hearing someone talk about your work in a positive light is always a wonderful feeling. I remember in one class I made a short animation in After Effects that took me a long-ass time to make. It’s pretty mediocre, but at the time I loved it. Apparently the professor showed it off to his other classes and it made me REALLY giddy. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Py0kgMg9Fec

If you wanna see it, here it is. Like I said, it’s pretty mediocre, but this was my first time using after effects. I loved this project a lot!

5. All the pets I’ve had in my life. My followers know the ones, those silly little kids of mine~

Five Things On My To-Do List:

1. Git gud at art

2. Have a portfolio design that is both unique while also simple and not gaudy.

3. Play through a lot of video games that I currently have on my backlog.

4. Improve myself personality wise. I’m way too bitter and I feel that I’m unpleasant to be around, so I’m trying to fix the way I say things. Not the best with words...

5. Get back on track emotionally. I’ve been really out of it as of late and really, feeling like myself again is top priority. I just made it 5 because I’m a dumbo who thinks of other things first.

Five Things People May Not Know About Me:

1. Okay, I know some of you are gonna get a kick out of this. I have had a youtube channel for several years now, but on it I have a series of videos that spawned from a joke. It is called The Life of Dr. Frankington. It is 5 episodes and has 1 trailer for Episode 4 because I delayed it for over a year and 3 for Episode 5 because hype. They’re REALLY stupid, but were incredibly fun to make. I put more time and effort into them than I think I did anything else before college. 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7E7BA85282F76555 Legit, this is my magnum opus. It’s so dumb and possibly cringey, but I love the fact that it exists. The first 4 episodes were made in movie maker and 5 and 2 of the trailers were made in Sony Vegas. It also has my face and I know you kids go nuts about that for some reason.

2. I used to be a part of an FRC robotics group in high school. What a wild time that was...so many stories I could tell about that one group alone. Years of nonsense and bullshit. I’m glad I did it, though. Met some great people and have some funny stories~

3. It sounds mundane, but I can do a front flip. I remember doing it while one of my friends was attacking other friends with a blanket on his head and then jumping onto cardboard. I took the blanket, screamed “I AM THE NEGA CULTIST”, ran off, did a front flip, and landed on my knees to lay down while the blanket was still partially floating. I peered out, and my friends were screaming in both amazement and fear. They legitimately thought their friend, good ol’ Solaire, just went to a new realm. They also learned how strong my legs are. Seriously, I have REALLY strong legs!

4. As mentioned before, I have REALLY strong legs. Not sure why, but I’ve had people question if I’m a frog or something. My younger brother, who’s a gym rat who works out 75% of the day, every day of the week, constantly brings up how huge my legs are. It’s an anomaly that my entire family debates over, actually. Pretty funny.

5. I know it was mentioned before, but I have a small sketchbook of things I see around where I live, which include things I’m told about or things I have seen in person. The little baby doll you may have seen in some of my snaps? That is Yubble: a demon who is the product of my roommate. He is a part of this small sketchbook. You see it in my snapchat? It’s likely in it or going to be in it. This really took my mind off of a lot of bad things, so really, thanks @aigislovesrobots . You’re a top tier friend. It helped out a lot.

[spookysummersmores]

Mind Heist - Chapter 3

Word count: 1,784

Author's note: HERE HE IS

THE DORITO DEMON

R U N

I apologize for taking so long to post this chapter! It's taken me a while to edit everything, and I've been working on a one-shot in the meantime...and of course, then there's LIFE as well...

Well, to quote the honorable Mayor Cutebiker - "Never mind all that!"

Thank you all for your patience and support, and I hope you enjoy! Chapter 4 should be up later this week! ^-^

Dipper gasped and bolted up, his eyes glowing electric blue...exactly as Stan had done when Bill took over HIS mind earlier that summer. Waddles, squealing with fear, ran and hid himself in Mabel's stuffed animal collection for protection.

Then, everything stopped as quickly as it began. The lights ceased their flickering, and the unexplained wind vanished without a trace. Dipper fell back, unconscious, and moaned a little.

"Dipper!" Mabel caught him and held him tight. "Dipper...are you okay?!" Waddles, too, came back and nudged him, trying to help whatever way he could.

Dipper moaned again, but didn't respond. He was stuck in a dream - no, more like a nightmare - with the nefarious Bill Cipher.

Mabel tucked Dipper back in and began to panic. "Okay...okay, what am I gonna do? What would DIPPER do? Think, Mabel, think..."

She'd never been alone during something this dangerous. What the heck was she going to do? Soos and Wendy were the only sort-of-grownups around, and neither of them knew much about the paranormal, did they? And besides, they were running the Shack; who'd look after things if they were gone? The only person that could possibly have had anything that would help was Stan, since he apparently DID know more about the town than he'd originally let the twins know, and he was nowhere to be found.

"But I CAN'T wait for Grunkle Stan...aaaah, I HAVE to do SOMETHING!"

Quickly, she dragged Dipper's journal out from under the bed and cracked it open, hoping to find something useful. Soon, she came across the blood-stained Bill Cipher section of the journal, and on the page, she found the Latin incantation Dipper had used to allow Mabel, Soos, and himself into Grunkle Stan's mind.

Mabel was admittedly a bit scared, but she knew it was the only way to help Dipper. She gathered a few things for when she ran into Bill and got ready to recite the spell.

Before doing anything else, she grabbed a cold cloth and draped it over Dipper's forehead, hoping it would at least keep his fever under control for a while. Then, a few minutes later, with candles lit in a circle around her, she put a hand to the side of her brother's head and began to recite the spell.

"Videntis omnium. Magister mentium. Magnesium ad hominem. Magnum opus. Habeas corpus... Magister mentium, magister mentium, MAGISTER MENTIUM!"

Mabel had forgotten how strange it felt to enter the mindscape. She watched all of the candles go out by themselves, but then everything seemed to fade away into a blue blur, and she felt a weird sort of weightlessness, as it'd she'd riding that weird swing ride at the carnival for too long.

Suddenly, she found herself waking up on the ground. She jumped to her feet, thinking for a brief moment that she'd ended up outside somehow. It only took her a second, though, to realize that she had indeed entered Dipper's mindscape.

"Holy Moses..."

There she was, upon a hill, overlooking Dipper's expansive mindscape. Surrounding her on all sides were places from all the different types of memories Dipper had, all mishmashed into one little world, each representing places and different points in time. Many of these were memories Mabel recognized, too, for they were either from their childhood in Piedmont or the current summer. In fact, she was sure she could see their California home right from where she was standing.

Mabel wouldn't let herself get distracted for long, though. She shook her head and began trekking through the odd new world, calling out for her brother the whole way.

"Dipper?! Dipper...where are you, broseph?"

All was eerily quiet around her for a while...so quiet that her voice faintly echoed back to her.

But it wasn't long before she heard the faint sound of cackling, and the second she heard it, her heart began to pound with fear.

She spun around and found that the sound was coming from the huge building at the heart of the mindscape - the mind library.

"So THAT'S where you're hiding him, you tortilla chip creep!" Mabel said angrily. She took a deep breath. Then, she readied her trusty grappling hook and dashed off into the library to find Dipper.

Meanwhile, within said library...  

"Wha- no- Bill? Seriously!?" Dipper was terrified, but tried his best not to let it show. "So you ARE the one who's been giving me nightmares!"

"Well well well, Pine Tree...long time, no ABC," Bill Cipher replied, cackling with sick glee. "I see you got my little presents. Just letting you know I had you in MIND! Miss me?"

"NO," Dipper said. "You've already taken over my body and destroyed the laptop...what the heck do you want from me!?" He thought for a minute. "Wait a sec...if you've been putting nightmares in my head, then...are you the reason I'm sick, too?!"

"Whoa, whoa, kid! Slow your roll!" Bill replied. "It's not MY fault you human fleshbags can't resist microbial invasion! But you see, it goes like this...you may not have all the secrets of Gravity Falls...but I DO have SOME use for you. And unlike that little butterball Gideon, I actually CAN see the future. For example, in about another minute, this is gonna be you!" Suddenly, Dipper could...hear himself screaming. Nice.

"Now, come on, don't kid yourself, Pine Tree...you skip out on enough sleep without ME being in the picture. You being brought down by some dumb Earth disease was inevitable. But of course, I...MIGHT have helped things along a little," Bill continued slyly. "So!" He clapped his hands together. "Have I got a proposition to make to YOU! You and your journal help me along with a little something I've been up to...orrrrr I find a way to MAKE you."

Dipper was dumbfounded. Did he seriously just ask that? "Are you KIDDING me!? Last time I got tricked into a deal with you, I almost died! And so did Mabel!" he angrily yelled.

Right as he attempted to walk away, he soon found himself in the grasp of one skinny little demon hand - one much stronger than it looked - while the other one flew to the demon's hip in annoyance.

"Not even gonna listen to what I have to say, huh? Always thought you were a boy of REASON, Pine Tree," Bill replied. "Ohhh! Speaking of Shooting Star - she must've LOVED the show I put on for her when I invited myself over to your mind!" he added, his voice dripping with evil delight. "Plus, there's a liiiittle surprise I've got in store for you involving your precious sister later..."

"Oh, no...Mabel..." Dipper gasped. "No, no, no, she wouldn't have tried to-"

Once again, Dipper heard his own voice repeated back to him. "Enter the mindscape on her OWN, would she!?"

Bill cackled again at the sight of Dipper's terrified face. "Aw, shoot...you ruined the surprise! And duh, of COURSE she did! You weak humans and all your...'caring'..." he said as he rolled his eye. Suddenly, he cracked his skinny black knuckles. "Now then!"

Without warning, Dipper found himself floating in the air...

"Since this little chat wasn't enough to change your mind...let's see what your own NIGHTMARES will do!"

Dipper struggled to get himself back down to the ground, but it was no use. "No! NO!"

"Have fun!"

Bill's maniacal laughter circled all around Dipper. And with a snap of Bill's fingers, he was teleported to parts unknown.

All was pitch-black when Dipper finally dropped to the ground again. He quickly pulled himself to his feet, and he panicked a little at first, but then remembered that he could just think of a light source. When he realized that he was wearing his pine-tree hat and vest, like he normally would on an adventure, he reached into the vest pocket and pulled out a flashlight.

When he clicked it on, he still didn't see anything at first - just the dark, dark woods. The rustling of leaves and the whisper of the wind were the only sounds, other than the occasional murmur or growl of an unseen creature. When he turned around, he found what he thought were spiderwebs hanging from the trees above - the thickest spiderwebs he'd ever felt, for sure. They were everywhere.

"Um...ew." He tried to walk around them, but kept getting tangled in them.

He tried to just ignore them and advance through the forest to find an exit, but he found that he suddenly couldn't. When he looked down, he saw that bunches of the strange strings had gotten caught around his ankles.

As he tried to untangle himself...suddenly...he heard a monstrous growl behind him...and he felt as though his heart had stopped.

All of this was far too familiar to him. He knew that sound like the back of his hand...but it certainly wasn't a sound he wanted to be acquainted with.

"Please don't be what I think you are...please don't be what I think you are..."

Trying not to completely freak out, he shakily turned around, very slowly. His eyes followed the trail of strings leading from his ankles up about ten feet ahead of him...and as his eyes met the monstrosity before him, a gravelly voice spoke.

"Come play with us, Dipper..."

Yep. It was a multi-headed, spider-legged marionette monster.

And he screamed.