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hardcandycigarette · 2 years

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Long Way Down PART Three

LONG WAY DOWN PART 3

Welp, the Styles family isn’t doing great without Y/N, and Auntie Gemma has a few opinions. We’ve got more fluff and dad!rry here. Once we get to Part Four we are back to some angst and more feels.

Stick with it guys. And thanks to everyone who has given such positive feedback. It makes my day to hear from you.

Word Count 6.7K

Warnings- a few curse words. If I missed a warning let me know.

“All right, thanks.” Harry taps the screen on his phone to end the call. “He slings it on the coffee table. Shaking his head, he lies back on the sofa. “Not at her mother’s, sisters’, or Julia’s.”

“We have spoken to everyone in her most intimate circle of friends and family, so do you have anyone else in mind?” Gemma asks.

His ring-clad fingers run through his messy hair as he throws his head back, face toward the ceiling with his eyes closed. “She had everything she wanted, Gem. All of it: houses, cars, love, money, and babies, she had everything she could possibly desire.“

"It’s not everything, you know. I am sure you are aware of that. I think you can let go of that story now.”

“What do you mean by that, Gemma?”

“There’s a shocker. It appears you didn’t listen to what she was saying to you.”

Taking a deep breath, he lifts his head and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “In fact, I was listening to what she said. I told you almost word-for-word everything she said.”

“Harry, she told you she needed you. She wants you, her husband.” She points to the hallway. “They need you.”

I’m on a break, not going on tour anytime soon.“

“What’s a while, Harry? A week, a month, a day? She never knows.”

“A while. I dunno.” He shrugs. “After Manchester, contracts are over.”

“Oh, get off it. That means nothing. Numerous contracts have ended, but the outcome is always the same. A signed contract, a new album, a new tour. Or three, then of course throw in a movie or two for good measure. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.”

“It’s m’ job Gem. Just because my job doesn’t look like everyone else’s doesn’t mean it’s not a job. Gotta feed m’ family, gotta pay for all this.” He raises his hands and makes a sweeping motion around the room.

She shakes her head. “It’s a job, but is it also a way for you to have your cake and eat it too?“

“What?” he scoffs.

“You have the beautiful wife, incredible children, and the comfort of knowing that someone is there for you 24/7. There’s also the glitz, fame, millions of people adoring you, and tons of money too. Pretty nice setup if you ask me.”

"Well, I didn’t and you’re full of shit, that’s what you are.” He points at her as he stands, then places his hands on his hips as he stares at the ground.

“Oh, you wish I was full shit.”

“Are you saying I was wrong? Should I have never married the woman I love and never had a family?”

“No, I’m saying you should think about what she wants and needs. Loads of people have jobs in the music industry that don’t take them constantly away from their families. She needs you to be present. She wants to know her husband isn’t writing a song in his head or doesn’t need to go meet with Jeff or whatever it is you do.“ She waves her hand.

"Whatever it is I do?”

“Yes, whatever it is, you do. You realize they need to eat soon.” She nods toward the kids’ rooms.

“Okay, well, let’s get that sorted.” He picks up his phone.

“Is Y/N still breastfeeding?”

“Weaning, but we have milk too.”

Gemma picks up the mugs, napkins, and the plate with one last biscuit and walks to the kitchen. Harry thumbs at the screen of his phone.

When she returns, she says, “The kitchen’s still a mess, isn’t it?”

“I cleaned it.” Harry stares at his phone.

“That’s not clean, Harry.”

“”Tis.”

“No, that’s half-assed,” she says.

Harry doesn’t look up.

“What did you order?”

He shakes his head as he focuses on the phone and scrolls.

“I don’t know what to order.”

“Just choose something. It’s not life-altering.”

Harry stands and leaves the room, heading to Y/N’s office.

When he returns, he carries a thick, heavy binder. "So bloody much.” He drops it on the coffee table and sits.

“Jesus, Harry, gonna break the flippin’ glass off the table. What is that?”

The deep red binder is a 4-inch, 3-ring binder. It’s open, laid flat on the table. It has three color-coded sections: purple, yellow, and blue. “This binder- is filled with everything we could possibly need to know about m’ kids.”

Gemma shakes her head. "No, things you need to know about your kids. Your kids Harry, things you need to know, do you hear yourself?”

His eyes are fixed on the binder as he flips through it, but he doesn’t respond. “Gemma. Each child has their own color. She has their likes and dislikes, allergies, movies they hate, songs they like, ways to calm ‘em down, and discipline that works. She also knows when to take it easy on them and when to be stern. She’s even got their favorite clothes.”

“Well, numb nuts, learning anything?”

He rolls his eyes and nods. “Yeah, but it’s so much.” He closes the book and picks up the phone. He punches around on the screen, scrolling once again.

Gemma reaches across the table, picks up the binder, and places it on her lap. She turns the pages, stopping on certain ones to skim the page.

After a few minutes, Harry puts his phone on the table. “Got it. 20 minutes it’ll be here.” He lays his head back against the sofa.

“Did you decide to order by looking at this?”

He chuckles. “No, I actually know what they like from The Dragon.” He sits up and gets his phone. “Gotta call Winifred, make sure she’s coming tomorrow.”

“It’s Sunday.”

“Yeah, she started comin’ on Sundays to get us setup for the week, and she has some sorta smthn she likes to do on Mondays.” He picks up the phone and dials the number. Soon there is someone else on the other end. “Yes, Winifred. It’s Mr. Styl-. Yes, I know it must be a surprise to hear from me. Look, I was calling to make sure you will be here tomorrow. I’m sorry, say again. Yeah, train stations can be quite loud. Oh, she did? No, I think there must’ve been a misunderstanding. Y/N is not available at the moment, so that must be a mistake. Really? Well, it would be really lovely if you could come in. Oh, of course, yes. I’m sorry to bother you, and please enjoy your time. We’ll see you when you get back. Take care.” Harry hits the red button on the phone’s screen.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Gemma glances up from a binder. She almost laughs at his overreaction to everything. “What now?”

“The housekeeper, Winifred? She’s at the train station, so she won’t be here this week. Y/N called and told her she could have a paid week off so she could visit her family.“

Now Gemma really wants to laugh. Well done, Y/N.

“What now, Gem?”

"I don’t know, Harry.” She turns a page in the binder, not even caring what she reads, just doesn’t want to look at Harry.

“Listen, there’s plenty of space. Maybe you could stay and-“

She shakes her head, “No, absolutely not.”

“C’mon, Gemma, I need ya.’”

“No, I can’t. I have work. Tomorrow is a super busy day. I’ve got to set my own self up for the week. And what you need to do is listen to your wife.”

“I’m callin’ her again. I mean callin’ her, not textin’ this time.”

Gemma notices that whenever he feels excited about something, good or bad, his hometown accent pops up, especially in private.

He dials Y/N. In seconds he hangs up the phone. “Voicemail.”

“Must’ve turned it off,” Gemma replies.

“Or maybe the battery died.”

"Maybe. Okay, so you don’t have Y/N. That’s a given. Winifred won’t be here, and I’m not staying, so what’s your plan?”

“She’ll be back tomorrow. Won’t be able to stay away from the kids longer than that.“ He stares at the floor. “Where could she be?”

The two are quiet for a long time.

Gemma breaks the silence. "Did you know that Lola will only eat peas if you mix them in applesauce? Strange combo, but she is your child, so strange comes naturally, I suppose.”

“What?”

“Lola, her pea, applesauce combo?”

“Yeah. That started sometime when I was on tour.”

A cry from the nursery pierces the air. Harry stands and jogs down the hall. She follows closely behind him. He pushes Archer’s door open. It appears the three kids were playing on the floor until a moment ago.

Harry picks up a crying Lola. “What’s this all about, huh? Wha’s m’ girl cryin’ for?” He kisses her head and pulls her close. Tears, drool, and snot drip down her face like a little waterfall. “What happen’?” Harry asks the other two.

“Nothing, Daddy,” Archer says.

“Well, somethin’ obv’sly happen,’ or she wouldn’t be cryin’ like this, would she?”

“She’s a baby,” Poppy answers as she rolls a toy truck along the rug.

Gemma stands at the door.

“We were just playing Dad, just rolling the ball like we were when you and Auntie Gemma left,” Archer says.

Harry walks to the changing table and grabs a burp cloth to wipe Lola’s face. “Told you to be gentle with her. She’s just now sittin’ and playin’ without fallin’ ver all the time. Gotta be careful. Can’t have been five minutes since we left ya’ in here.”

“We were nice, Daddy. She didn’t even fall over,” Archer points out.

“Oh my goodness, my sweet girl, you’re burnin’ up.” Harry cuddles her even tighter.

Gemma extends her arms toward the baby as she approaches. “Let me see Harry, so over the top all the time. She’s probably just a bit warm.” She takes the baby in her arms and places her hand on her face. "Jesus, Harry, she is like a stove.”

“See, I told you she was hot. Oh, you’re so dramatic, Harry, quit bein’ over the top, Harry,” he mocks. The gate buzzes. “Must be the food- that was fast.”

“Not really; we’ve been in the living room for a while, just not talking.”

“Shove it with semantics, Gemma.” Harry walks past Gemma, down the hall, and out the front door.

“Soups on people. Whoever wants to eat,” he calls from the living room.

The kids run to the front of the house, where they find Harry carrying two large white paper shopping bags. Lola is in Gemma’s arms, still sniffling and whimpering . The scent of warm spices wafts through the room. “Smells delicious,” Gemma says.

“What is it, Daddy?” Poppy asks.

“The Dragon.”

It’s not called The Dragon, but that’s what the kids call the Asian restaurant the family frequents.

Lola continues to cry. “I’ll take her temperature. I’ll be back.” Gemma says, then turns and leaves the room.

“Okay, follow me to the kitchen. We aren’t gonna mess up Mummy’s pretty dining room table tonight.”

“She’s not here,” Poppy replies.

"Still, we aren’t going to mess up her table.”

Archer, Poppy, and Harry walk to the breakfast nook. He places the bags on the table, opens them, and begins revealing the night’s offerings. The kitchen light is on, but not over the table. He reaches up and pulls the string to the light as the kids sit, eager to eat. He puts two white cardboard containers on the table. Archer reaches over.

“S’cuse me, wait, please.“ Harry rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath.

“Sorry.”

Two more containers are removed, followed by two more. The second bag contains three more containers, cutlery, napkins, and plates. The children sit quietly, fidgeting, waiting to dig in. He walks behind them and pulls the frilly blue curtains closed. "We aren’t usually here at night, are we? Didn’t close ‘em this afternoon. Need to keep these closed.”

“Why?” Poppy asks.

"So the psychos can’t see us.”

“What’s psycho?”

“Archer, tha’s not a polite word,” Harry says.

“You say it. Cause Dad’s famous.”

“Famous?”

“Lots of people know him because of his singing,” Archer says.

Walking back to the other side of the table, Harry sighs. He opens two containers. “We have yours here, Poppy. Chicken fried rice, one piece of chicken, and one egg roll.” He opens the container, puts some on a plate, and hands her a fork and spoon. “Archer, shrimp, and no rice, with tons of veggies and one egg roll. You like the things I like. Good boy.” He serves him a plate.

Gemma returns and rests against the counter. “Not as high as I thought, probably just got too warm, but she does have a bit of a fever. What do you usually give her?”

"It’s in our bathroom, the medicine cabinet, the one by the sink on the right side.”

Gemma motions with her hand. "C'mon, you can do it. What’s it called, Harry?”

“Where is she?”

“In her crib.”

“Is she still cryin’? Wha’d ya leave her for?”

Gemma rolls her eyes. “I’m on my way back. Tell me about the medicine.”

“It’s red liquid. Never mind, I’ll get it.” Harry exits the kitchen and heads toward the children’s rooms.

Gemma walks over to the table. “Wow, this looks delicious and smells wonderful.” She sits with the kids for a moment before serving herself.

###

“Okay, she’s down. It took her a while, but she fell asleep,“ Harry says as he returns to the kitchen.

Gemma throws away the dirty plates, cups, and containers. "She alright?”

“Yeah.” Harry’s reply is curt.

“It was so yummy, Daddy,” Poppy says.

“Good, baby. I’m glad you liked it.”

“Is it time for ice cream?” Archer asks.

Harry sits. “Let me finish my food, mate.”

“Yeah, mate,” Poppy says as she stands in her seat.

“Poppy, when did all this standin’ on furniture start? Bottom. Seat. Now” He points to the bench beneath her.

Poppy sits.

“So, let me see, which one did I order? Ah, here it is.” Harry picks up the container and opens it to find room-temperature food. He gives a slight pout and then shrugs. “Eaten worse.” He serves himself. Before he sat, he was famished, but after four bites, he’s lost his desire for the meal.

Gemma wipes the countertops and going back over Harry’s previous kitchen cleanup. He covers the container of food and pushes it to the side. “Maybe I’ll want this later.” He stands, walks to the trash, and drops his plate in.

“Can we have ice cream now?” Archer asks.

“What?”

“You said we could have ice cream after dinner.”

“Oh yeah.” He walks to the fridge and opens the freezer door. “Gemma, you don’t have to clean that.“

“Don’t mind,” she answers.

He studies the freezer. "No ice cream; looks like we’re out.”

“But you promised.”

“I know, dude, but I didn’t know we didn’t have any.”

“Ice cream, Daddy,” Poppy calls out.

“Said we’re out, din’, I?”

“Can we go get some?” Archer asks.

Harry stares into the freezer, willing the ice cream to appear. “What? No, we’re not venturing out for ice cream.”

“But you promised.”

Harry walks over to Archer, leans over, and places his hand on the table. “Said we were out, that we’re not gonna go for any. Archer, you know you have really tried my patience today. Shudn’t give you any just based on your behavior, so when I say we’re out, that’s it. Full stop.“

Archer starts to cry.

“Now, we’re not cryin’. Normally, I understand, but today you’ve not been at your best, so I’ll see what we’ve got for a treat, but we’re not havin’ ice cream, and the cryin’ can stop.”

Harry walks to the pantry. Archer stops but still sniffles as he wipes his face on his shirt.

“Do you think Sarah would know? Where she is, I mean.” Gemma asks.

“Don’t think so.” Harry takes a bag of biscuits off the shelf and gives it to the children. "Two. You can each have two.” He puts two fingers in the air, opens the package, then sets it down before he turns to Gemma. He leans against the table, arms folded across his chest, legs crossed at the ankle. The children dig into the bag of biscuits.

“I don’t think she would know and I wouldn’t really wanna call ‘er, just yet because then she’ll tell Mitch, that blabber mouth will tell someone else.”

“He’s your closest mate, Harry.”

“But can’t keep a secret for shit.” Harry laughs. “Then Jeff is calling soon and he wants to know about my life story.”

"Well, then, my baby brother, what’s your plan?”

He straightens his posture, walks to Gemma, and then leans on the counter next to the sink. “Don’t have one, Gem. I don’t. I didn’t ever picture her leavin’ me, especially not knowin’ where she is.” He keeps his voice low, then drops to a whisper. “It’s scaring me,Sis.”

“I am so sorry this happened, Harry. I really am. I wish I knew what to say.” She finishes washing her hands and then dries them on a kitchen towel.

"If you can’t stay, and I understand you have work, then I’ve got to call Mum. She could leave in the morning and be here sometime in the afternoon.”

“Can’t. She’s on some kind of retreat. Tried to call her on my way over.”

"Dammit, Gemma, I told you I wasn’t callin’ her yet.”

"Calm your britches, hot pants. I was calling her about something else.”

Harry shrugs. “Okay, well then, it looks like ’m on m’ own tomorrow.”

She nods toward the children. "Want me to stay for their baths and help put them to bed?”

“Nah, yeh alright, I’ll do it.” He opens his arms and reaches over for a hug.

She embraces her brother.

“She’s coming back, right, Gem?”

“You’re gonna be fine, Harry. All of you.“

###

Lola’s cries jolt Harry awake at 3 AM. After being fussy all night, she’s only been down for four hours. Getting up with her at night is nothing new to him. When he’s home, he’s always the first one up with the kids at night. Nevertheless, a good night’s sleep would be welcome. Getting up, he walks towards Lola’s room.

The nightlight guides him to her bed once he’s in her room. As he picks her up, he bends over and kisses her. Holding her close, he rubs her back. "Shhh. What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

She cries and chews on her hand. “Dada.”

‘”Yeah, Dada’s got you. Let’s go change your diaper, shall we? Maybe that’s what you need.“ He walks to her changing table, lies her down, and cleans her up while she cries. Singing Adore You, he smiles at her. “Walk through fire for you. Just let me adore you,” He stops singing. “And darling, Daddy would walk through fire for you. He would do anything for you. I hope you always know that for the rest of your life.” When he is finished changing her, he picks her up and places her head on his shoulder.

For a moment, her cries soften, but soon they rip through the room again. “Let’s get your lovie, okay?” He walks to her crib to get her stuffed turtle, but he doesn’t see it. His hand reaches out and grabs a stuffed frog from her dresser for her to cuddle. She throws it on the ground as he sits in the chair. After picking it up, he gives it to her and begins rocking her. Still crying, she throws it again. Oh baby, why don’t we take your temperature? You don’t seem to be too hot, but let’s check.” He reaches over to the changing table and pulls out the thermometer. “Sit still for a minute, my angel. Daddy will be super quick.” He takes her temperature. It reads 100.6, which isn’t ideal but isn’t alarming. We’ll get you some medicine to help bring down your fever, okay?“

He stands and carries the baby back to his and Y/N’s bedroom. Once there, they walk to the bathroom, get the medicine, and in no surprise twist, she spits half of it out. Harry does not want to give her anything else to make up for what she has spit out. "Oh, that’s not very helpful, is it? You need all your medicine.” As the baby continues to cry, he walks the floor with her, jostling her just a bit. “Where’s your cute frog, huh? Where has he gone?” He carries the baby only to find the frog on the hallway floor. Her tiny chest releases a rough, rattled cough.

He picks up the stuffed frog and hands it to her. She throws it down. Harry gives up and leaves it there. Once back in the bedroom, he sits on the bed and turns on the TV. He’s not watching it, but it’s just something to drown out the silence filled only with Lola’s cries and the most recent addition of a cough. It doesn’t appear she’s about to quiet down anytime soon. Almost an hour after she woke up, Lola finally falls asleep on his chest. In the absence of her cries, Harry has drifted off as well. He wakes up to see the baby is finally calm. He lays the baby in the spot where his wife usually sleeps, covers half of her with a sheet, turns off the television, and falls asleep.

###

A knock at the door startles him awake. He glances at the clock. It is 7:33. “Yes.” he croaks.

“Daddy.”.

“Yes.”

“Can I come in?”

“Yes, sweetheart.”

She walks over to the bed. “Why’s Lola in here?”

“She was feeling sick last night, so Daddy brought her in here.”

She pouts and looks at the floor. “Not fair.”

“What?”

She points to the baby. “She gets to be in here.”

“Well, I’m sorry, love, but don’t I always bring you in here when you’re sick?”

She looks at the ground. “Or stay in my room.”

“That’s right, but we’re always together if you’re sick, aren’t we?”

“Uh-huh.” She nods, then struggles to climb up on the bed with Harry and Lola, grabbing at the fluffy, white duvet..

"Here, Popscicle, let Daddy help, but walk over to my side- don’t want you falling on top of the baby.”

Poppy walks over to Harry, and he picks her up. She crawls over and plops down hard on his abdomen.

“UH, God, don’t kill me, kid. Don’t mind you comin’ up here but don’t need you playin’ so rough.”

“Sorry, Papa.”

He closes his eyes, but Poppy leans over, pushing his cheeks together. “You have a beard. It sticks.”

“Not quite a full beard but kind of, yeah.“ He rubs his nose while his eyes remain closed, then rests his hand above his head on the pillow. .

“Why?”

“It’s my time off, so I haven’t wanted to shave.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Sorry, I’ll consult you next time.”

“What?” She pulls the claw clip out of his hair, then tugs on his ear.

"Okay, Pop, let’s be calm.” He pats her on the hip. “We don’t need so much activity th’s early, do we?”

She grabs his large, bare hands. "Where are your rings?”

“Don’t need ‘em to sleep.”

Lola begins to whimper, but Harry places his hand on her. “Shh, Daddy’s here.” Her cries grow a little stronger just as there is a knock at the door, even though the door is open.

“Come in, Archer.”

“How’d ya’ know it was me?” He walks over to the bed.

“Didn’t figure a robber was knockin’ on the door, did I?

Archer climbs onto the foot of the bed and walks over to Harry and Poppy. "Archer, crawl or scoot, please before you-”

And before Harry can finish, the boy loses his balance and falls on Lola’s leg. She screams shrill and loud. The boy scurries away from her.

Now Harry’s eyes are open. “What is wrong with you?“ Told ya a million times to be careful ‘round the baby.” Harry sits up, then lifts Lola into his arms, soothing her with soft words and a back rub. "Why are you lot like a very adorable but ruthless gang?”

“What?” Archer asks.

“Said you’re adorable but complete chaos, don’t mind the rules, and act mean to people, like a gang, aren’t ya?”

“Did Mummy call?” Archer asks. “Did she?”

Harry hadn’t planned ahead for the question, partially because he hoped Y/N would come home or, at a minimum, actually call. "She’s fine. She is resting, just like I told you.”

“Will she call later?” Poppy asks.

“Not sure.” The baby continues to cry, though she’s much quieter now. “Alright, I’ll get Lola changed and freshened up since we’re all awake. You two go brush your teeth and wash your faces.”

Archer jumps off the bed but remains on his feet for only a second before landing on his knees. With the crying baby balanced in his arms, Harry crawls to where Archer is. “Alright?”

Breathless and startled, Archer answers, “Yeah.” He rubs his foot.

“Gonna hurt y’rself told ya ‘bout jumpin’ off the furniture. Thought we understood this.”

“Saw you jump over some stairs on stage. You didn’t get hurt,” he replies.

Harry scoots to the edge of the bed and stands. “Yeah, well, Daddy does lots of things he shouldn’t but ’m a grown-up.”

“Still dumb.” Archer stands.

“With that word again, Archer, if you say dumb one more time, ’m gonna g’v ya a timeout. Told ya ‘bout that yesterday.”

Poppy is jumping on the bed. “Hey, just watched ya’ brother fall, and now ya jumpin’ like a silly monkey. And stop jumpin’ and standin’ on furniture, will ya?”

“Don’t be mad, Daddy. It’s fun.” Her half-flattened curls swirl around her, as she flies up into the air.

She stops when she lands.

“Lots of things are fun, but that doesn’t mean we gotta do everything that’s fun. Poppy, come here. I’ll help you down. Now, go do what I said and brush your teeth and wash your faces..”

Poppy stumbles across the bed to Harry, who lifts her in his arms and puts her on the floor. Lola continues to fuss and cough, the rattle still in her chest. With a gentle pat, he hits Poppy’s bum. “Off ya’ go.”

Poppy rushes out of the room with Harry close behind. Archer limps alongside Harry. The children go into their bathroom, and Harry enters the nursery.

####

“But today is donut day,” Archer says. “And my foot hurts.”

“Well, it might be donut day usually, but not today. I’ll make ya breakfast here. And as for ya foot, whose fault is that?” Harry takes eggs from the fridge.

Archer pouts and leans back on the bench in the breakfast nook. “Not fair.”

“Yeah, lotsa things not fair, my man.” While holding Lola, he grabs the milk and juice and then places them on the counter.

“But you promised us ice cream yesterday, no ice cream, now donut day, no donuts.” He crosses his arms and kicks the table. “Ow.” Archer cries out. “My foot.”

“What’s with the foot, Arch?”

“Hurt it.”

Harry shakes his head. “Well don’t kick the furniture.”

“Not that, from falling, Dad.”

Harry raises an eyebrow. “And if ya hadn’t been jumpin’ wouldn’t happen.”

“Fine, let my leg fall off.”

“Alright mate, here’s the deal, your leg isn’t going to fall off. Your baby sister is sick. You can’t just start runnin’ about for donuts when someone’s sick- not good for them, and not right to spread germs to other people. We’re stayin’ here.” Harry walks to the pantry to get the bread and returns to the kitchen island. “Where’s Poppy?”

“Dunno.” Archer shrugs.

“Can you go find her, please? Can you do that for me?” Harry walks over and places Lola in her highchair.

Archer sniffles. “My foot hurts.”

Harry walks over to Archer and pats his thigh to signal the little boy to raise his foot. "Le’ me see.”

Archer raises his leg and rests his foot on Harry’s knee. Harry examines his foot. “Yeah, a bit swollen and a little red. Le’ me get you some ice.” He rests Archer’s foot on the bench.

Harry walks to the fridge, gets an ice pack, returns to Archer, and puts the ice on his son’s foot and ankle. “I’m not sure what’s hurt your foot or ankle. Keep it right there. Dad’ll be right back.”

Harry leaves the kitchen and walks to Poppy’s room. He finds Poppy in her closet eating a packet of jelly. Jelly is all over her face. “Oi, what’s this young lady?”

“Jelly.”

"I mean, I see that, but why? And where did you get it? But also, why?” he tries not to laugh at the complete ridiculousness of it all.

“It’s good.”

“It is, but we don’t just eat jelly packets, and why are you in the dark again?”

She laughs. “Can’t reach the light besides told ya I like it Papa.”

Harry rolls his eyes. “So first things first, give me the jelly packet.”

She hands him the small jelly packet split open with the red substance puffing out.

“Are there more?” Harry turns on the closet light.

She nods.

“And can I have them?”

She shakes her head. “No. Mine.”

He squats. “Actually, everything in this house is mine. I paid for it, so really, the jelly is mine.“ He smiles at her. He knows they don’t buy jelly packets, and though he’s curious as to where she got them he doesn’t have time to talk about now.

“Nope.” She giggles.

"Poppy, please show me where the rest is.”

She stands up and walks out of the room. In the hallway, she picks up Lola’s toy frog. "Why’s this here?”

Harry tosses the half-eaten jelly packet in the bin as he exits the room. “Ya sister threw it down so many times I quit picking it up last night. Guess that’s where it finally landed.”

She lifts her sweet, cherub face to him. "It’s the wrong one.”

“What’s that jelly face?“

She blinks and stares at him. "She doesn’t like it.”

“Well, I couldn’t find her turtle.”

“Prolly lost it. She does that.”

He rubs the top of her head. “You used to do that too.”

“Know, but Mumma fixed it.”

He can’t help but grin. “How’d she do that?”

In her small sticky hand, she takes Harry’s hand and leads him down the hall to a storage closet. “Here.”

“In here?”

“Yeah, it’s got lovies.” She struggles to turn the doorknob.

Harry places his hand over hers and turns the knob. Inside the closet at the very top is a shelf of stuffed animals and blankets, multiples of each one. Some he recognizes are Archer’s, Poppy’s, and Lola’s. “What’s this?”

“If we lose it, Mummy fixes it.”

“Well, that’s very smart of Mummy.“ He reaches up and takes one of the stuffed turtles down, tucks it under his arm. "I’ll cut the tags off this when we get to the kitchen.” He heads back down the hall. “Poppy, need you to wash your face and hands, then come to the kitchen, please.”

Back in the kitchen, Lola kicks and fusses in her highchair. Archer talks to her about football. “So when they score a goal like that, they get a trophy.”

“Talkin’ footie with Lola?” Harry walks to the sink to wash the jelly off his hands.

“Yeah, but my foot still hurts.”

“Let me get ya somethin’ for it. Watch Lola just one more minute- I’ll be right back.”

Harry jogs down the hall, still carrying the turtle. He meets up with Poppy. “Go to the kitchen, love. I’ll be right there.”

“You did it wrong.”

“Did what wrong?”

She points to his hand. “The lovie.”

“What about it? Told ya I was gonna cut the tag off.”

“No.” She shakes her head. “I’ll show you.” Her clean but wet hand grabs Harry’s, and she leads him through his bedroom into the bathroom. He walks to the sink, grabs a children’s Tylenol for Archer, and closes the medicine cabinet. Poppy points to the counter. “There.”

“What love? Whatcha pointin’ at?”

“That. Smell good stuff.”

“This?” He points to Y/N’s perfume.

Poppy nods and smiles.

“Mummy’s perfume?”

“Yeah.”

“Poppy Daddy’s had a very crazy morning. Can you help me a little bit, love?”

“Spray the lovie.” She smiles at him.

“Spray the lovie with Mummy’s perfume?”

She nods and smiles again.

Harry picks up Y/Ns signature perfume and sprays the stuffed turtle. “Like that?”

“Yes. Mummy. Now you.”

“Me?” He points to himself and smiles.

“Now, spray you.”

Harry picks up his bottle of cologne. “This? My cologne?”

“Daddy, just spray.” Poppy laughs.

Harry sprays the turtle with his cologne.

“See, all fixed.” She throws her hands in the air.

“That’s it?” he asks.

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, that’s quite smart of Mummy, and you for knowing all of that.” He picks her up. “Does Mummy do that for you?”

“Yep. Then we can smell Mummy and Daddy.”

Harry is sure that if his heart weren’t already broken, it would have shattered at that moment. The baby wanted to smell him and Y/N. That’s why she didn’t like the frog. Harry kisses Poppy. “I love you, Pop. Know that?”

She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him. “I love you,”

Harry lowers her to the ground and walks through the bedroom to his nightstand. He picks up his phone to check for any messages or calls from Y/N. Nothing. “Poppy, run along to the kitchen. I’ll be right there.”

The girl darts out of the room.

He sends Y/N a text.

Y/N I’ve learned my lesson, love. I’ll do better. Swear I will. Please call. Please come home. I’m dyin’ without you here. The kids are OK, except Lola’s a bit sick, but mostly we are all fine. Just want you home. Please, please come home. I love you more than I can ever say. Please at least let me know if you are okay. The kids keep asking about you. They miss you so much. Please give me another chance. XX-H

He slips the phone into his pocket and walks back to the kitchen.

“But he doesn’t even know why.” Poppy laughs as she talks to Archer.

"What’s got, you so giggly, Miss.”

“I was telling Archer about a boy at school.”

Harry walks over to sniffly, whining Lola. “Daddy’s here. Look what I got you.” He shows Lola the toy. He hands the baby the frog. She cuddles it close to her, delivering a fresh dose of snot right to the top of the frog. “I just sprayed it Lo, now it’s not gonna smell nice anymore.”

“It’s okay Dad it’ll be fine. She won’t care, if you sprayed it she’ll like it,” Archer says.

“Arch did you know about the sprayin’ the lovie trick?”

He shrugs. “Yeah, didn’t you?”

Harry smiles. “No. Feeling like I’ve been left out now.”

“Mum just does it,” Archer says. “Dad my foot hurts.”

“Right, sorry, here you go.” Harry hands him the Tylenol, then pours a cup of juice, and hands it to his son.

“So, I’m gonna make breakfast, then I need you guys to play as peacefully as possible because I have something important I need to take care of. Got it?”

The two kids nod.

“’M serious guys. I need ya to not fight, not jump on things, need you to be super, big time quiet. Can you please do this? And Archer, if you are so good, I will make sure we have ice cream by dinner.”

“Pinkie promise, Daddy.” Poppy extends her small pinky to him which he gladly wraps his large pinky around.

“Me too, Dad,” Archer says. Harry extends his pinky which Archer hooks with his own.

“Alright. Thank you. Love you both.”

###

Two hours later

Text From HARRY

Love, I know you’re angry, and I’m so sorry. I was wrong. I know you need your space. I’ll accept that, but can you please let me know you are somewhere safe, and that you are okay? It’s been more than 24 hours. I don’t see transactions on your cards. I know you have a private account and I can’t see that. That’s fine too, but I need to know you are safe. I’m waiting two more hours. If I don’t hear from you I’m calling the police, and reporting you missing.

###

“Jeff do you not understand what time off means? Told ya I’m dealin’ with some stuff with m’ family. Told ya I’d call ya back when I get it settled. Yeah I get that but I can’t worry about the new contract right now. We’ve got plenty of time. Send it to my lawyers, once they go over it we’ll talk. OK, then I’ll schedule a meeting with them this week. Gonna talk to ya later.” Harry hangs up, and drops down into his black leather office chair, and exhales.

He spins the chair to face the desk, and opens his laptop, logs into the bank account- no signs of Y/N. He checks her credit cards. No updates to activity. He looks at his texts and missed calls. No Y/N.

He’s known her for nine years. One thing he knows is that she would never want to frighten her children. Even at her maddest the thought of Lola being sick would prompt her to call. Certainly her mum, sisters, and Julia would’ve told her Harry is looking for her. It makes him sick to think of contacting the police. The internet and rumor mills will explode once he does. Y/N knows that too, so the threat of police would’ve compelled her to call.

Harry decides to call her sister, mum and friend once more before taking the next step. After he makes no progress. He knows one more person who might be able to help him figure out what to do. He calls his most trusted security advisor, Liam.

After talking with Liam, he calls a meeting. Jeff, Glenne, Liam, Mitch and Sarah. All of them know he wouldn’t want to meet during a break unless the matter was urgent. Everyone agrees to be at the house in four hours.

“And so that’s it. That’s the whole story.” Harry throws his hands up in defeat, then begins to cry. His eyes water, a few tears trickle down his cheek. He takes a gulp of air. “I’ve called my mum. She was out of town so gotta give her some time. She will be here super early in the morning. We’ll need her. M’ dad is workin’ on fliers and posters. We’ll get those printed in-house so that the public isn’t in a panic before we talk to the police and we are ready to make an official statement.” He cherishes the people who sit at the table yet, he feels it’s betraying Y/N to share such personal details of their marriage. What if he’s just blowing everything out of proportion? No, she would never do this, never. Something is wrong.

403 notes · View notes

hockeyboysimagines · 21 days

Text

Happy Birthday

Warnings-angst, fluff

At the rink/Brothers teammate/hurt-comfort/Love at first sight/Autumn birthday.

PSA I do not write for Ross Colton, but I did this for my bestie on her birthday! I can’t say enough good things about her. Thanks for being such a wonderful friend this year! I hope you have a great birthday🤍 Of you guys haven’t read her stuff you’ve been living under a rock. I hope this is everything you wanted!

Also, birthday girl got to pick the OC’s name🤍

Love you @cellythefloshie

“Make a wish!”

Ross grinned as he watched Gemma lean forward pushing her long hair back away from the candles and blew out a breath extinguishing the flames as everyone cheered around her. She caught his eyes and grinned as smoke furled from the burnt wicks of the candles and dissipated in the air.

God she gorgeous he thought in his head. He could never say that out loud to anyone.

And that meant ANYONE.

Ross had known Gemma Evans since he was a kid. Her brother, Jared was a longtime friend and teammate and growing up she’d always just been Jared’s little sister who’s room was down the hall. Until she turned 17. Ross had been away in Connecticut that November and for the first time had missed her birthday. He’d sent her a text and even a card and then had spoken with her sporadically during the rest of the season. When he’d come home, he’d been stunned to find that wasn’t Jared’s baby sister anymore. Like it was the first time he had seen her, he fell hard right there in her parent’s kitchen.

And that’s when his problems started.

Not only was it illogical for him to have feelings for one of his oldest friends younger sister, who he’d known since she was 3, but it also felt wrong. Like he was that weird older brothers friend creeping on his younger sister, the kind they always made fun of, but he couldn’t help it. She filled his brain day in and day out. No matter where he played, no matter who he dated, none of that mattered. She lived in every void in his brain. Over the course of the next few years he fluctuated between spending every chance he could near her and distancing himself. During the season it was easy to curb contact with her, but that didn’t mean he didn’t think about her. He could chalk up his absences and lack of contact to games and practice and whatever else he usually got up to during the season. But then he’d come home in the summers and she’d be there. Tan skin, long hair, bright white smile, and he couldn’t stay away from her. How Jared hadn’t noticed yet was beyond him but he was glad. That would be one awkward conversation to have.

And now he was here, watching her blow out the candles on her 25th birthday cake. By a stroke of luck, the Avs were in town to play the devils the following evening and even though her birthday wasn’t till next weekend, they’d made accommodations so Ross could be there for it this year. He hadn’t been around for a birthday in some time and it was nice to see his friends and some family. But as he’d glanced around the party he’d noticed someone was missing.

Dan, Gemma’s boyfriend, was nowhere to be found. He was alright, Ross didn’t want to hang out with the guy on the weekends or anything but he was okay. He’d never gotten any inclination that was unhappy or not being taken care of so he’d been friendly and cordial every time he’d been around him. It had sucked to see her with someone else, but as long as she seemed happy, Ross really couldn’t complain. He wasn’t making a move anytime soon, and realistically he knew she wouldn’t stay single forever. As long as he was nice to her that would be all that mattered. Jared however did not feel the same. He’d made an off handed comment once not long after Ross first met him that he didn’t like him, and never elaborated on why. Ross had always assumed it was just “overprotective big brother” but something nagged at him every time Dan came up in conversation. He’d asked Jared again the following summer and he just shrugged and said something felt off about him from the beginning and he still felt that way. He said Dan went out of his way to show what a good boyfriend was, and it all felt fake to him. Ross had been thinking about it since then and though he felt like it was partially bias, he agreed. Every time he’d been around Dan was always hugging her, kissing her, bragging about things he did or vacations they went on together. He was over compensating and it all felt like it was for show, and for a bit of time he even wondered if it was for his benefit. Jared might have been blind towards the affection Ross showed for Gemma, but maybe Dan wasnt. Maybe Jared had chalked it up to “brotherly sisterly we’ve known eachother our whole lives affection”, but Dan saw him as a threat. Which was silly because Ross had always treated Gemma with respect and was never flirtatious when people were around. But he couldn’t change the way he looked at her. That would give his true feelings away every single time. He wondered now idly if that had anything to do with his absence. If Ross could make it while the season was in full swing, Dan had no excuse.

She by now, had made her way around the table with a large smile and hurried over to him.

“Happy Birthday!” He said as she wrapped her arms around his midsection and squeezed him.

“Thank you. Im so glad you could be here.” She had her head resting on his chest eyes closed. Her hands were gripping the material of the back of his shirt tightly. He wondered if she could feel how fast his heart was beating.

“I wouldn’t miss this one. Halfway to 50.”

She pinched his side and he jumped with a small laugh and shook his head “Kidding of course. Glad I could be here.”

“Me too. How long are you in town for?”

“Till tomorrow after the game. Then we play in Philly the next night.”

She nodded and glanced around “Let’s do something after this. If you want that is.”

“Sure.” He said, a little too fast, and then cleared his throat “What-uh like what?”

She glanced up in thought “I’ll let you think of something.”

He swallowed thickly, knowing full well what he’d like to do but he was sure that idea was off the table, so instead he said “Let’s go skate.”

She smiled and nodded “Deal.”

When Gemma was 5 and Ross was 7 he and Jared had taken her skating with them one day and instead of her sitting on the sidelines complaining about the cold, they stuffed her feet in skates and taught her how. She wasn’t very good, and by now was probably even worse than before, but he would help her through the whole thing if it meant he got to be that close to her and potentially hold her hand.

She was called away then by her friends but she paused and turned back to him “It really is so good to see you.”

He watched as she walked away with a little sigh.

“Dude.” Jared slapped him on the shoulder startling him and handed him a beer “Thanks for coming. It’s good to see you.”

They chatted for a few moments before he approached the subject because he was about to explode with curiosity “Hey uhm-where’s Dan?”

The smile slipped from Jared’s face slowly like rain drops running down glass. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure Gemma wasn’t close enough to hear him before he turned back to Ross.

“They broke up last month. It was pretty bad.”

Ross fought the smile that was trying desperately to spread across his face and pretended to look shocked “What? Why? I thought things were good with them.”

Jared pursed his lips “Me too but apparently not. You know I never liked him, but he obviously wasn’t going anywhere so I got along with him for her sake. She was supposed to move in with him in December. She had her stuff packed and everything and then he just broke up with her one day, blocked her number and that was it. She was crushed.”

“Really? What an asshole. I had no clue.”

“Tell me about it. I didn’t say anything cuz I felt like it wasn’t my business to tell, but he's lucky I haven’t seen him yet because when I do. Game on.” Jared made a pounding motion with his right fist on his left hand.

Ross chuckled and nodded “I’m sure he’s making himself scarce knowing your around looking for him.”

“You ain’t kidding. I haven’t seen him not one time. No idea where he’s at.”

“Out catching VD probably.” Ross said off handedly eyes moving back to Gemma who was talking with his mom.

Jared laughed and gave Ross a nudge “Probably. She’s been really down, so I figured seeing you would cheer her up. Glad you were able to make it this year.”

“Seeing me?”

Jared rolled his eyes “Yes you. Come on my sister loves you. Always has, and I think-“

“Jared get over here!” The turned to find Jared and Gemma’s dad, Rob waving his son over.

“Hang on-“

“Wait I-“ but he was already gone leaving Ross wondering what he was going to say.

I think….you like her.

I think….you should date here

I think….you guys would have cute kids.

Woah hang on he said to himself furrowing his eyebrows calm down. No need to get carried away, even if it was totally true.

He hadn’t even spoken his feelings out loud yet, and he was already planning their first date in his head now that he knew he had no competition. Not that he saw Dan as competition just 2 minutes ago because he had accepted the fact that he and Gemma could never be anything. But now it was fair game. He could feel his chest puffing up and his spirit start to soar as he held his head a little higher. By the time her gathering started to die down, she appeared in front of him with her skates and an extra pair for him.

“Ready?” She asked with a smile. She was bundled in a black coat, long hair hanging down the back. The walk was only 15 minutes, but he walked as slow as possible knowing that this may be the last time he saw her during the season. He had to make his move now, because by summer she could be with someone else.

“So what do you think?” She asked speaking out into the night and little puff of fog coming from her mouth as she spoke. It jarred him from his internal monologue and he turned to her.

“About what?” He knew what she was asking but he played dumb.

“Ross.” She said with a small smile “I know Jared told you.” her smile started to slip a little and Ross felt a sinking feeling. He hated seeing her so sad. Dan had better count his days.

He sighed and nodded “ Yeah he did. Im sorry, I didn’t know or I would have reached out.”

She shrugged “It’s okay Ross. No one knew. And besides it’s not like it’s your job to know every aspect of my life anymore.”

“No but I mean if I had know I could have helped or something, and no I don’t need to know but I want to know.”

She smiled and looked at her feet “Oh yeah? Helped how exactly? I can’t cry on your shoulder from here in New Jersey.”

“Hey.” He said holding a hand out “I give great advice…by phone.”

She rolled her eyes and bumped him with her elbow “I didn’t tell anyone cuz I was embarrassed.”

He frowned “Why should you be embarrassed. The guy sounds like an asshole. I never liked him.”

“That’s what Jared said. It was tough I’m not gonna lie. I’m okay now but I wasn’t for a while. I wish I at least had an explanation for why he did it though.” She said quietly.

Ross nodded and kicked a rock out of the way as he walked “You know that him doing that was just a shitty thing right. Like that wasn’t your fault.”

“I guess. I dont think it was him though I think it was me.”

“What?” Ross asked eyebrows furrowing “Why would you say that?”

“I don’t know. If it wasn’t me then why would he just suddenly decide he didn’t love me anymore.”

Ross felt something stab him in the heart and for a second she was back to being Jared’s little sister when he saw the sadness on her face. He hated that. In an hour a guy who he’d always though was decent was now at the very top of his hit list. If Dan played hockey, Ross would have grabbed him by the sweater and pounded him knowing he’d only get a 5 minute timeout. Unfortunately if he did that off skates, the penalty would be worse.

“Hey.” Ross reached a hand out and stopped her from walking “Don’t think for one second that had anything to do with you. That’s his problem. You are beautiful and smart, and the best girl I know and if he can’t see that then you don’t need him in your life.”

Surprise registered across her face as she spoke “You think I’m beautiful?”

“Uh.” He ran his teeth across his bottom lip and then smiled nervously “Yeah. I mean of course. Everyone does.” He continued walking not looking back to make sure she was behind him. He wanted to kick himself in his own ass for being so damn stupid, especially since he wasn’t smooth enough to play that off in a clever way that wouldn’t make him look like a complete loser.

He heard her behind him and breathed a sigh of relief when the outdoor rink came into view, saving him from exposing himself anymore than he already had.

The air was brisk as they silently laced their skates, and made their way to the ice. Ross stepped on and took off, taking a full lap to calm himself down before he slowed down to match her pace. She was moving along fairly quickly and he looked her up and down with a smile, impressed.

“Have you been practicing?”

She turned and shrugged “A little. Years of you making fun of me inspired me.”

“I never made fun-“

“Liar!” She said jabbing him in the chest with her finger knocking herself off balance a little. She started to tip forward and he caught her by the elbows, her hands coming up to grip his jacket. She looked up, eyes moving up his face slowly. He glanced down at her mouth, then back up to her eyes before he let go of her arms and took a step back. Despite the cold, he’d broken out in a sweat under his shirt, and his face felt like it was on fire, a deep blush then was creeping from his neck to his face hidden beneath the collar of his sweatshirt.

He cleared his throat “Well you’ve gotten much better.”

She didn’t say anything just smiled and they skated in comfortable silence until he felt her hand brush his as she reached out to hold it. He froze a second, before he gripped her fingers back and glanced at her.

She was smiling “So how long have you thought I was beautiful.” She asked side eyeing him.

He chuckled and rolled his eyes, thankful that the dark was hiding the redness in his face that hadn’t gone away yet “I don’t know. A while.” he tried to play it off like it was no big thing but Gemma knew him better than that.

“A while…Really?”

He nodded “Really.”

She looked deep in thought before she spoke again “But like how long? Why didn’t you say anything before. Why are you saying it now?”

“Like in terms of years? A long time. And I don’t know really. Just didn’t feel like keeping it to myself anymore. It’s been in there long enough.” He pointed to his head and made eye contact with her for the first time. She was staring straight through his soul, looking at him like she never had before.

She twitched her mouth back a forth as she fought a smile and looked back down at her skates, a redness pooling in her cheeks “Do you think it was me that made him want to leave? I mean is there something wrong with me?”

“No.” He said without a moment’s hesitation “I think he didn’t appreciate you like he should have. Anyone who treats you that way doesn’t deserve you. And even then I’m not sure anyone deserves you.”

She looked up slowly “What do you mean.”

“I just think that.” He paused trying to find the words without being too obvious “That your too good for most guys out there.”

She turned her head to the side and gave a short small smile before it faded again “Well I appreciate that but you don’t have to keep complimenting me to make me feel better.”

“I-what?” He frowned and peered down at her.

“I mean it’s okay really. I love that your being so supportive but I’ll be fine-“

“Wait wait wait hold on.” He waved his hand to silence her “I’m not just saying that to make you feel better Gemma, I mean that.”

She looked unsure and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear “Really?”

He nodded and let out a breath, steam filling the air “Of course it’s true. I’ve-I’ve always felt that way.”

“Then why have you never said anything?”

“Because I was your older brothers best friend. I didn’t want to be that guy. We used to beat up those guys. But I’ve always thought that about you. And then Dan came around and I figured that was my last opportunity out the window so I backed off. I just-“

But his rambling was cut off by her taking a giant step forward and smacking her lips against his hard before she jumped back and covered her mouth.

He put a hand up to his lip and then glanced up at her “Ow.”

“Sorry I- oh god sorry.” She was shaking her head mortified, hands over her mouth. She looked so damn cute standing there in front of him eyes wide, cheeks and nose red with a look of anticipation. She was trying to gauge whether he was annoyed or grossed out when he was neither.

He looked at his hand, then her and shrugged and taking a small glide forward “Don’t apologize.” He said softly.

She tucked a strand of hair nervously behind her ear, completely embarrassed that she’d nearly broke all his teeth by trying to kiss him “I just have only kissed one boy before so I have no idea what I’m doing, did I hurt you? Are you bleeding-“

He was smiling and chuckled “I’m fine.” He reached a hand out and gripped the front of her jacket, pulling her closer slowly “Are you okay?”

“I’m-I’m okay. Wait what are you-?” She was looking at him confused as she came to a stop in front of him.

“You said you kissed one boy before, and that’s the problem. He obviously didn’t know anything about kissing.” He reached a hand up to push her hair hair off her cheek and rested his hand there across her jaw and neck, pulling her face closer to his, thumb stroking across her cold cheek as he leaned down, and pushed his lips sweetly against her own, eyes closing. They rested there a minute before he moved them, and Gemma felt her world flip sideways. Kissing Ross wasn’t like kissing Dan. His hands knotted in her hair that was stuck in the collar of her jacket and he pulled her flush against him as he pulled away and came in at a different angle, tongue sweeping across her lower lip slowly. Goosebumps bloomed across her skin as they stood there kissing under the moon.

When he pulled away she let her eyes flutter open to find him staring at her. He smiled slowly and let out a breath.

“That’s how you should be kissed, always.”

She tried to speak but the words never came as she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing her face closer to his, brushing his with her own.

“Happy Birthday Gemma.” He whispered.

And then he kissed her again.

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 11 months

Text

Young American Finale ^**

AHHHH THE FINALE IS HERE. I had such a hard time finishing this because I think I wasn't ready for it to end, but thus it had to. I hope you guys love this part. A lot happens and of course, the happiest ending for our lovely couple and their little angel of a baby boy 👼🏻

Series Masterlist

Warnings: descriptions of abusive relationships (verbal/emotional). Descriptions of personality disorder (Borderline Personality Disorder specifically). Descriptions of pregnancy. Fingering and oral sex (fem receiving), use of sex toys, sex (p in v, unprotected), breeding kink, multiple/forced orgasms. Descriptions of labor and delivery process.

WC: 23K

A little recap....

Y/N finds out that Harry has been hanging out with and talking to his ex-girlfriend Chloe for a few weeks. He has been acting very sketchy about it. So at the Sunday roast they are hosting, she borrows his phone and decides to give Chloe a call. Harry gets suspicious and decides to follow her in and finds out she's contacted Chloe...

“Baby, can I use your phone?” Y/N asked as she came up to him and he suddenly felt concern come over him.

“Ummm why? For what?” He asked right away and immediately regretted it because it sounded suspicious. Or maybe he was just being super paranoid.

“I can’t seem to find mine and I was supposed to call G, he wanted to run through his anniversary dinner plans with his man.” She explained. “I just want to find it, I’m gonna call from mine, don’t worry.” She assured and he bit his lip and nodded.

“Ummm sure. Yeah, of course.” He replied and handed it over. She grabbed it and typed in his password but it was wrong and she glanced up to him in confusion, “Oh, sorry forgot to mention I changed it. Archie knew it and downloaded a shitload of games on it and-”

“It’s fine, Harry.” She smiled, “You don’t need to justify it to me. I trust you.” She said looking deep in his eyes, but there was something in them that made him distrust her words and he frowned a bit.

“Right.” He chuckled and he took it and typed in the password and handed it over.

“Thanks. I’m gonna go look for my phone.” She said and headed inside.

Harry felt so unsettled that Y/N had his phone. He knew Y/N had seen the text Chloe had sent him after the first time they hung out after the cycling class. But she didn’t seem upset or even bring it up again, he hadn’t meant to hide it, but if she didn’t read into it then he was just not going to bring it up. And he really did intend on just closing the door with Chloe, but she was going through a lot and well he had been looking for something to do with his time, so he figured being a friend to her wouldn’t be a bad thing. So they kept hanging out and doing stuff around town. It was completely platonic. He hadn’t given Y/N any reason not to trust him in the past, and well he just…didn’t want to relive the horrors of that relationship with Y/N. Once Chloe got through her rough patch he’d just tell her that they couldn’t be friends. That was genuinely his plan, but he had been so wrapped up in her that he hadn’t realized that just being around her was changing him, the effects were so quick that he was oblivious to them.

He had been lost in the chatter until he realized that Y/N hadn’t brought his phone back for a while. It made him feel on edge, so much so that he quite literally chugged the beer before him and stood up abruptly, startling Skye.

“Alright, mate?” He asked and Harry nodded.

“Yeah, just gonna grab another beer. Anyone else want one?” He asked and his uncle, Julie, and Skye all said yes.

“So you’re drinking again? What happened to solidarity?” Gemma asked and he frowned a bit. He had been drinking again…he didn’t know why that hadn’t really clicked until someone mentioned it to him.

“S’only been two.” He said.

“Try 3.” Gemma said and he looked at her incredulously until he glanced down at the spot before him and saw that he had in fact polished of his 3rd beer already.

“Those are not all mine. We’ve all been drinking.” He said and immediately Gemma and Alyssa exchanged a look of concern.

“No mate, those are yours.” Skye confirmed and everyone laughed a bit and Harry frowned, suddenly feeling really defensive that everyone was laughing at him, “Well, fine. No more for me then. Should I still bring you lot another?” He asked and they nodded. “Coming right up. M’also gonna check on Y/N, she’s been gone too long.” He said and headed inside.

Now he was feeling conflicted and attacked and anxious. He beelined for their current bedroom and the door was closed. And when he tried to open it he found it was locked. He exhaled, jaw taut as he swallowed down the lump in his throat as he tried to listen for any sounds and could hear her muffled speaking.

“Open the door, Y/N.” He said through the wood. It took a few moments before the door opened. It worried him that he couldn’t really decipher the look in her eyes, but all he needed to know was that it wasn’t good. “Who were you talking to?” He asked and she looked at him for a second.

“Does it matter?”

“It does. You said you were going to talk to G and if you weren’t then why did you lie about it?” He questioned her. Just then his phone started ringing and she glanced down to it. She turned the phone towards him and his expression went blank and he swore that all of the blood in his body rushed down to his feet making him feel dizzy and out of sorts.

“Do you want to answer her or should I?” Y/N asked and he didn’t say anything, “I should warn you that I think she’s still calling for me so she might get a bit rude with you.” She said calmly and when he just stood there she shook her head and sighed as she handed the phone over and started to get around him to exit the room.

“What did she say to you?” He asked and she sighed.

“It doesn’t matter, I didn’t believe half the things she accused you of, she’s clearly psychologically unwell-”

“That’s rude of you to say, she’s just going through a hard time.” He said with a frown and Y/N sighed.

“I think she’s fine. She’s just a liar, Harry.”

“Why would she lie about anything that she’s been through?!” He asked in frustration.

“Because she knows that’s how she’ll reel you back in.” Y/N said simply and Harry frowned.

“She doesn’t affect me like that any more. It’s not like she was going to trick me into leaving you or something! I’m not an idiot!” He snapped and she frowned.

“I didn’t say you were-”

“I was just lending an ear. It was nothing bad!” His voice was raised now in defense when she hadn’t even said one accusatory thing to him.

“If it’s nothing bad why did you go out of your way to hide this from me?” She asked and his forehead creased even deeper in frustration and he sighed and it looked like he would say something but after about a minute of standing there in silence he didn’t say anything more. “OK, well I’m just going to head back outside.” She said quietly and before she could make it out he grabbed her arm.

“I know you saw the first text she sent me. You were looking through my phone. Why were you even looking through my phone?!” He questioned her as he stood in front of the door now.

“I was trying to see if Eddie had good news! After the morning we’d had I just wanted to share some good news with you. And we always look at each other’s phones! It had never been a problem before so I just assumed it was fine to look at your phone.”

“So you saw it, meaning that you’ve known about Chloe since then and you never brought it up. Why didn’t you bring it up if it bugged you? Were you trying to collect evidence against me so you can hold it over my head or leave me?” He asked and she looked at him like he was absolutely mad.

“Where is this about me leaving you even coming from?” She asked him, “I didn’t say anything because up until I saw that message I believed that you had lost track of time and somehow walked all the way to SOHO! I was confused about how I felt and when I started to doubt you I decide to trust you instead and hoped that you would do the right thing. The mature thing and take ownership of your actions and tell me yourself! And when you didn’t bring it up the next day I wanted to show you the message and ask you for clarification but you had deleted it!” She said and his eyes softened a bit.

“There was nothing for me to bring up anymore and I thought that…maybe it was just a quick run in…worst case scenario, a spontaneous and regretful hook up!” She explained and Harry looked hurt that she even thought that, “But then you kept hiding things and lying and I knew you would keep lying about it. I’m really sorry if you feel like I invaded your privacy today, but you’ve been deliberately lying to me for weeks and I’ve been going fucking crazy between deciding if I wanted to know what was going on or not! But then I realized that I couldn’t bear to hear something bad from you, so I decided to hear it from her if something was going on.” She said with tearful eyes but she wasn’t going to let a singe tear fall, “And I don’t know why you decided to lie to me, Harry. But if she still means something to you and you wanted her back in your life I would’ve tried to understand. But after all the sneaking around and now that I’ve spoken to her and have heard the way she’s talked about you and the things she’s said about you. Your supposed friend by the way, I don’t want her near you, me, or our baby, ever.” She said firmly and Harry swallowed thickly. “Can I go now?” She asked and he let her go and moved to the side.

“Are you angry at me?” He asked softly and she sighed as she stopped at the door.

“Angry doesn’t even begin to cover it.” She responded

“You have every right to be, but I swear I was just listening to her problems, it was absolutely nothing other than that and-”

“I know. We’re not done talking about this though. We should deal with this when everyone goes.” She said.

“I love you so much and I’m really sorry for all of this.” He apologized.

“Thank you for apologizing.” She said quietly and he nodded.

“Not gonna forgive me though?” He asked as he took her hands and the fact that she let him was a good sign.

“Obviously I will, but I’m still angry at you and I…don’t want to forgive you without clearing things up.” She said sincerely and he chuckled a bit, “I’m being serious.” She pouted and he nodded.

“I know, my love.” He assured, “I’m not laughing at you, s’just a nervous thing.” He said and she shook her head.

“I think I just want to understand why you…went through all these lengths for her before I can move on from this.” She explained her reasoning and he frowned.

“Baby, I can clarify how this even happened but I ummm…I don’t want to talk about why this happened.” He said to her.

��OK, but you need to so that we can clear this up.” She said and he shook his head.

“I can’t. I won’t.” He said to her with certainty and out of every emotion under the sun, the one radiating the strongest off of him was fear. He was afraid to talk about this with her.

“I get that it might be painful and hard to explain it but…whether you’re ready to hear this or not, she was in your head, Harry. She’d gotten in your head and a few more weeks of this and who knows where you’d be!” She explained anxiously.

“How can you even say that?” He asked, fully offended. “I wouldn’t betray you ever! Or just leave you!” He scoffed.

“Maybe not the you that I’ve shared all of this with, but that’s what you were doing though…” she said and he tore his hands from hers, “You were pulling away and you’ve been really weird and cold and dry…like how you were before and…well you’ve been drinking a lot more than your normal, and-”

“STOP IT!” He shouted out of nowhere and she just shut her mouth and he exhaled shakily and licked over his lips as he calmed down for a second, “I understand that I owe you an apology, but you’re not getting an explanation.” He said voice soft but his tone was decisive, his eyes locked intensely on hers. “Do you understand?” He asked and she felt patronized at his question and she shook her head.

“I can’t accept that, Harry.” Y/N responded. “In order to rebuild the trust that’s been broken we need to talk-”

“Well trust me now when I tell you that discussing Chloe and I is not something that will help anything. I won’t talk to her again. It’s all in the past and it’s not going to make a difference now so get it out of your head. Please.” He implored.

“It’ll make a difference to me. Because I need to be sure that this is not going to happen again. And I can hope all I want, but if there is something, some part of you that is still…vulnerable to her-”

“We’re done having this conversation.” He interrupted and walked around her to leave the bedroom. She followed after him as best as she could, but he was walking fast. She frowned when she saw him getting out of his house shoes and opening the door to the entryway.

“Harry, where are you going?” She asked in a panic.

“Maybe to go fuck Chloe and file for divorce while I’m at it!” He snapped sarcastically and she felt her tears start to fall.

“You’re being really shitty, Harry.” She sniffled, but he was so overwhelmed and he felt like she was pushing him and pressuring him to talk about something that he never intended to open up about with anyone.

“Well that’s what you probably think I’m going to do anyway, isn’t it?” He asked her with a scowl on his face and she shook her head.

“No, Harry! But running off is not going to resolve this issue!”

“Well I don’t want to be here right now with all these people while you accuse me of shit I haven’t even done!”

“I’m not accusing you of anything!” She sighed in frustration as he opened the front door, “Harry, if you leave right now I don’t want you to come back until you’re ready to face this.” She admonished and as she looked into his eyes she searched for any indication that he would soften up but he looked away.

“That’s not going to happen, so you can call me when you decide to just let this one go.” He said lowly and he heard a sob break through her throat before she just stormed off. In his stubbornness he decided to just leave. He groaned and wasn’t discrete in his exit, he slammed the door hard enough that the windows rattled a bit.

*********

Alyssa was coming inside to go to the bathroom when she heard the door slam and she rushed over to the exit and then looked out the window to see Harry stomping over to his car and getting in roughly. So she headed down the hall to the guest room only to hear Y/N sobbing loudly on the other side of the closed door. She bit on her lip nervously and decided to head out and grab Gemma. More than anyone else, she and Gemma had picked up on the recent changes to Harry’s attitude. It was all reminiscent of his time with his ex, Chloe. They had been the ones who were constantly appealing for him to just let the relationship go, to move on, to come back home…but Chloe was so deep in his head, almost thinking for him! She could manipulate him in ways that were so sinister. And god, she really hoped that Harry hadn’t been stupid enough to have seen her or sleep with her, but whatever this was, it was bad.

“Gem, can you come here for a minute?”

“Where the hell is Harry with our beers?” Her dad asked and she groaned.

“I’ll get ‘em…” Alyssa said and headed off to the kitchen to grab the beers while Gemma made her way inside.

“Do you need help with something?”

“Harry stormed out and Y/N is sobbing in the bedroom.” She said and Gemma frowned. “Can you check on her. I’ll be right there.” She said and Gemma hurried off. Alyssa then made an excuse to get everyone to go home or go hang out at the pub, which is what they all agreed on. Gemma then came back out and shared a look with Aly that told her that whatever this was needed their immediate attention, so she asked Skye to leave the car and she’d just get him from the pub before they went home and he agreed and so they all headed off and that left Aly and Gemma and Y/N in the house.

“Did you talk to her?” Aly asked as she served Y/N a glass of water.

“No, she said to give her a minute to calm down before she wanted to talk about it.” Gemma said and Aly nodded before heading back to her bedroom.

*********

“Hey guys.” Y/N sniffled as she let them in. Alyssa offered the water glass and she took it and drank some down before setting it down on the bedside table and then just sitting on the bed.

“Where did my brother go?” Gemma asked.

“I really don’t know…” she sighed as she rubbed at her eyes, “And I don’t…I don’t know what to do.” She confessed and the two women before her nodded, encouraging her to tell them what was going on. “Ummm, so like about three weeks ago we had a little argument over Harry saying he was feeling trapped at home. He was like bored out of his mind and was like trying to get me to do more stuff with him and he basically just wanted to have some fun together before the baby came. But like, I’m just achey and tired all the time and won’t be able to keep up, you know how he is.” She explained and they both chuckled and nodded, “But he had gone off to the gym to just get the need to be active out of his system and like…he was gone for hours.” She explained, “Later that night he was expecting a text from Eddie, but then when I went to go see the message another came in at the same time and I accidentally opened that text and it was from his ex-girlfriend, Chloe and it was…sketchy.” She said and both Gemma and Alyssa sighed in disappointment.

“So he’s been…seeing her?” Gemma asked and Y/N nodded firmly once.

“For the past three weeks.” Y/N confirmed. “Like…I wanted to bring up that text to him because they way she wrote it, it was like insinuating that they had…ummm-”

“HE DID NOT.” Gemma stated with a frown.

“I don’t think he did, but she just wanted to make it seem that way.” Y/N explained.

“I wouldn’t put it past her. She’s a fucking lunatic! Like completely mad.” Alyssa said and Y/N sighed.

“Yeah, she’s not well…” she agreed, “Well, anyway he deleted the text message before I could ask him about it. He never saved the number so I assumed that if anything had happened it was a one time thing and I decided that I could make peace with that. But there were more texts through the weeks and then he just started deleting them I assume because they suddenly stopped, but he’d always be gone and like he’s just not been himself.” She explained.

“Yeah, I called him out on the drinking earlier and he got so defensive.” Gemma said and Y/N sighed.

“Right, well I misplaced my phone and I asked him for his to call myself and he got really weird about me having his phone. And when he finally gave it over he had changed the password, which is strange because we’ve never been secretive with that, you know? And he…he said Archie had downloaded too many games on it so he decided to change it.” Gemma scoffed when Y/N shared that and she shrugged. “I really was just going to look for my phone but then that happened and I got suspicious so I…I called her to ask her if anything was going on because I’d rather hear it from someone I don’t know than him, you know?”

“What did she say?” Aly asked.

“Well she first pretended that she had no idea he was married and then confirmed that they’d been sleeping together. But she was being a bit inconsistent so I know she’s lying about that, but he’s been spending a lot of time with her. Harry was at the door and overheard I think, but when he came in he told me he was just being nice and trying to listen to her problems. Which I genuinely believe he was trying to be nice, but the woman is obsessed with him and clearly has ulterior motives! And he like started to defend her or whatever and I was just trying to tell him that like…if nothing bad was going on then he didn’t have to hide it and lie about it, you know? It’s just the ease at which he was willing to lie for her that’s really bothering me.” She explained with concern.

“Well of course he lied about it. There’s an unspoken rule that we don’t talk about her. Ever. She’s the reason he was a fucking mess! But he literally worshipped the ground she shat on and nothing could ever make him see what it was that she was doing to him.” Aly explained and Gemma snorted on a laugh and Y/N giggled as well at Aly’s chosen expression. “He knew that if any of us found out that he was seeing her again that we would interfere and give him hell for it. That’s why he lied.” Alyssa said with certainty and Gemma nodded.

“OK, so obviously this is…a lot more of a sensitive situation than I thought. Like I knew his previous relationships weren’t great, he’d shared that much, but this is…more than just bad I think? I mean, he tried to apologize but I told him that we needed to talk about what exactly happened that made him feel like he needed to lie before I could properly forgive him and move on from it. Like I don’t want to forgive him and next time he’s struggling he falls into her lap again, you know? Like clearly she knows how to get to him and he’s still susceptible to her! And that’s when he got angry. He said that I wasn’t going to get an explanation and to just take the apology and like…I don’t know, maybe I pushed him too far?” She sniffled.

“Bull!” Gemma cut in, “He needs to explain himself!”

“I agree.” Aly said and Y/N sighed.

“Well Harry doesn’t feel like he needs to. He just said he doesn’t want to revisit it and to just trust that he won’t talk to her again. But like…I saw how she got in his head and just the difference over the last few weeks, I mean, it’s not normal or healthy and that’s when he really got pissed and started to leave and I asked him where he was going and he said-” she stopped as her tears started to blur her vision again and Gemma and Aly frowned, “H-he said that m-maybe he would go and fuck Chloe or ummm…file for divorce s-since that’s what I was assuming he was doing anyway…” she cried and the girls literally gasped upon hearing this. “And I got angry and said if he walked out that I didn’t want him home until he was ready to talk about it and then he said that he wasn’t going to change his mind and he’d wait for me to call him when I’ve decided to let it go.” She started to cry again and Gemma just hugged her and glanced over at Aly with apprehension.

“I’m really sorry.” She hummed and Y/N just sighed through her tears.

“Like I want to work through this, but I don’t know what I’m truly up against, you know? And like, I didn’t know she was his ex until I called her today and just…the things she said about him were so hurtful and like…I just can’t for the life of me understand why he would choose to interact with someone like that and then defend them like that!?” She said in frustration.

“Well, I know I’m his sister and I love him to death, but this is just the tip of the iceberg of his ugly side if Chloe is involved.” She said and Y/N pulled back and frowned, “Harry was with her for four years. I don’t know what went on in the relationship because he was so far removed from us then, but I know that it wasn’t anything good. That relationship destroyed him. He was already going through so much but that just made it worse and like…as much as he avoided us, we also started to avoid him because he was…awful and mean to everyone when we would even try to understand what was going on with them. We hadn’t spoken for almost a year when I reached out to him again.” She confessed and Y/N sighed.

“I told him he needed to see a therapist after that was over.” Aly said and Gemma nodded.

“I don’t think he ever did.” Y/N said and they sighed, “Like…he’s done a lot of the work himself and like…not that it hasn’t worked, he’s a completely different person even than the version of him I first met. But obviously he works on just what he sees he needs to work on. But like, she knows how to work him and he’s so convinced that she doesn’t affect him.”

“That’s not new…he’s always been in denial about that.” Alyssa said and Y/N wiped her tears away.

“What if he really does what he said and stays away until I change my mind about this? The baby’s coming soon and I can’t do this without him. But I also feel like, if I cave on this…it’s a mistake and I feel like he’s still vulnerable to her and that he will go back the next time something gets difficult. And if something this small had him like this I’m sure that with something bigger she’d somehow manage to turn him against me. I can’t live everyday on edge wondering when is the day that she’s completely won him over and he leaves me!” She expressed sadly with so much frustration bubbling inside of her.

“I know it’s not nearly the same thing as having Harry backing you, but we’re here for you and we’ve got your back on this.” Alyssa said kindly.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Gemma agreed as she gave her a little squeeze.

“Thank you guys. Everyone else didn’t hear the commotion right?”

“No.” Gemma assured.

“Good. The last thing I need is your mom, gran, and Julie ganging up on him when he’s already in a fragile state…” she sighed, “Thank you guys for listening. I felt like maybe I had been really unreasonable with my request to just understand what happened.”

“Not at all unreasonable, it’s just the Chloe-effect.” Alyssa said before making an icky face and Y/N giggled. “Now, I have a serious question for you, Y/N. Are you in need of a pedicure? Because I think we just need to get out of the house for the rest of the afternoon. Help you calm down a bit? Maybe Harry has an epiphany while we’re out.” Alyssa said.

“And if he doesn’t?” She asked.

“Well then at least your feet will be soft and your toenails a cute color.” Gemma said and Y/N smiled.

“Let’s do it then.” She agreed.

***********

Harry had taken a long drive to just think and ended up in Brighton, he had a lot of fond memories there. He didn’t want to talk about Chloe ever again and he could admit that he made a mistake in entertaining her again but he didn’t want to delve into it. He literally hadn’t realized how far down the rabbit hole he’d gone until everything piled up on him today. He was afraid to talk to Y/N about that part of his life because he felt that it would maybe change her view or opinion of him and taint their marriage, if they even had one anymore. Because sure, he was a grouch when he’d met her, but that was tame compared to the person he’d been when he was with Chloe. A part of that came out earlier when he’d said all those awful things to her when she was trying to stop him from leaving. And well, the moment he uttered all of those hurtful things to her he felt so ashamed of himself that he just had to go. She deserved more than a man who had so easily strayed away. She deserved more than someone who deceived her and said hurtful things to her just to get her to lay off.

He was terrified to go back home because he was afraid to prove Chloe right…that he wasn’t capable of loving and nurturing a marriage and much less a child. But whether he and Y/N had anything anymore after this stunt he pulled one thing was certain, he needed to sever all ties with Chloe because even he could recognize that everything started going to shit the second she was back in his life. Once again, he had been seeking her validation. He had intended to just be nice to her, he wasn’t sure at what point the tables turned but they had. He had somehow started out being the one in control and suddenly he wasn’t anymore and it terrified him that he hadn’t even realized it. He needed to just let that go for good, so he dialed her number and she picked up after a few rings.

“Harry, what happened?” She asked him right away.

“Just a huge fucking fight with Y/N…I fucked up and left instead of…giving her that explanation she asked for.” He explained sadly.

“Well, I get why you’re feeling so down all the time now! Your wife’s a real fucking piece of work.” she chuckled.

“Chloe, why would you lie to her about what was going on with us?” He asked and she sighed.

“Because I can see how miserable you are with her, Harry! And I also know you’re too much of a coward to end it. But you have to admit to yourself that this was all a mistake! Because that’s what this whole thing with her is, a mistake. I know you think that you’re cut out for this kind of thing, but you’re not!”

“And why is that?” He asked with a frown.

“Because you’re so… damaged, Harry! How can you be a father when you’re like this?” She questioned. “And I mean this with all the care in my heart, H. I know you think you’re doing better but look at how easily you came back to me! You asked me out, Harry and I accepted. Obviously, deep down you’re not over me and you’re unhappy with your life choices.”

“What? I wanted to catch up and hopefully get some closure, just the one time! But then you started showing up at the gym every day and texting me and asking to see me and talk to me about your problems and your life and I…I felt for you! I just wanted to be a decent person and help you, Chloe. But I…I won’t lose myself in you again.” He stated firmly.

“And do you really think you have anything with her after doing something like this?” She asked him, “Huh? While she’s off somewhere pissed at you, I’m here on the phone with you, because I need you as much as you need me, otherwise you would’ve grown a pair and stayed with her to fix things.” She said.

“This call isn’t for me to vent about the argument I had with my wife. I’m only phoning you to tell you that we’re done. All you ever did was tear me down and make me believe that because I was hurting and not being a great person then that I wasn’t worthy of all of the good things life has to offer. If you loved me as much as you said you did, why would you do that? Why would you make me feel like I wasn’t worthy of love when I desperately needed it the most?” He questioned and she didn’t respond, “Y/N loves me despite my mistakes, which I can assure you are many, and she loved me despite my hurt. She loved me when I was a miserable and broken shell of myself. She helped bring me back and I will love her eternally and be grateful to her for that forever. And I have everything I want and everything I need with Y/N. I really do wish you the best but-”

“How dare you?” She questioned angrily, “You’re just a good for nothing piece of shit, you’d be so lucky t-” he just hung up the phone and took a deep breath before just blocking her number and it was liberating. He was relishing in his small victory when a text from his mum came in.

Upon reading it he immediately forgot all about what he was thinking and called Y/N. He sighed when her phone rang out and then he tried again and no answer. He didn’t even think twice before he ran off to his car. He needed to make sure she was OK. It was nearly a two hour drive and he had tried her again and Alyssa and then Gemma and Skye and no one was picking up. He was about to call his mum back and ask, but then he’d have to explain that he had actually left and that would open up even more issues.

He got home in record time and the house appeared dark. He rushed inside and looked around and well, her phone was on the bedside table…maybe they had to take her to the hospital and they left in a rush. But they would’ve called him…he groaned and just as he was about to head out again he heard laughing at the door and he rushed to the entry way and saw and heard her, with Gemma and Alyssa. He sighed in relief as they opened the entry way and their smiles slowly fell when they saw him.

“Oh thank god, you’re alright.” He said and she looked at him with confusion, “Mum texted something about a panic attack.” He explained.

“Oh, that was probably from what I told them to get them to leave.” Aly cut in and he nodded.

“Right, well are you alright for now?” Gemma asked her quietly, but he still heard her.

“Yeah. Thank you for all the pampering this afternoon and for taking me to the Barbie movie.” She said with a smile to her and Aly who both hugged her tight. They didn’t fail to glare at him while they hugged her and were soon being escorted to the door. Harry just sat at the staircase as they said goodbye and soon Y/N was coming back in and slipping out of her sandals.

“I’m glad you’re alright. I was worried.” He said as he stood.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She assured and just walked past him and to the bedroom. He waited a bit before he decided to just follow after her, but as soon as he made it into the hallway he saw the last bit of the door close and then heard the lock click. He swore that it absolutely broke his heart to have her reject him this way, but he deserved it. Just seeing the disappointment in her eyes made him want to fix this. He walked up to the door and heard her shuffling around the room a bit.

“Ummm, I’m gonna go sleep up stairs then.” He informed and hesitated a bit before speaking up again, “I know I was…a total fucking asshole today. I’m so sorry, baby, I shouldn’t have reacted or left like that. I just…get defensive when it comes to this situation… And I just want you to know that I only love you.” He spoke through the door and just a second later she spoke up, her voice muffled by the door between them as well.

“And I love you too.” She responded softly before he saw the room go dark from the crack under the door. It wasn’t all that late but he’s sure that she was emotionally drained and possibly physically exhausted as well. He went up the stairs and got showered and then into bed.

Harry was so ashamed of himself and everything that came with those horrible four years of his life with Chloe. And he did want to be good enough for Y/N, but evidently there was still a small part of him that believed that he wasn’t and never would be. It’s not like all of the horrible shit he did when he was with Chloe just went away! He felt bad about it every time a memory resurfaced. And the one thing that should’ve made him feel better, but actually made him feel even more like shit was that Y/N still loved him. After everything he’d put her through today, not to mention the last few weeks of deception and even betrayal to some extent, she still made a point to tell him that she loved him. It was crazy to him…he would never withhold his love from her either, but he felt that she provided the good and all he did was hurt her and disappoint her. Even when their paths first crossed she had extended respect and kindness to him when he was awful to her. Maybe if he just explained to her why he was so worried about talking about this she would give him more time to figure out how to share this stuff about his past and how that led to what happened over the last couple weeks. As much as he wanted to avoid talking about it, fixing things with Y/N was far more important than his shame over his past.

With that new priority at the front of his mind Harry sat up from the bed and got into his slippers, he headed to the stair case and when he reached it he stopped at the top of it when he saw Y/N was on her third step up. They both just looked at each other for a moment before she spoke up.

“Are you really gonna make me go all the way up there after the day I’ve had?” She inquired and his lips split in a small smile and he proceeded to hurry down the steps. With each step he took down his eyes flooded with his tears and as soon as she was within arm’s reach he pulled her close as he sniffled.

“I love you so much, baby.” He sighed in relief at the feeling of her being in his arms again and more than that, she hugged him back.

“I know you do. And I love you too.” She assured him and he pulled back to look at her.

“I don’t think I deserve it sometimes.” He confessed through a sniffle and she frowned.

“We all make mistakes-”

“Well I’m the only one fucking up here and you deserve more than that-”

“I’m not perfect by any means. I lied about…the hot Cheetos and the Jaffa cakes.” She said and he chuckled despite his tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Yeah, that’s actually far worse than what I lied about.” He said sarcastically and she smiled up at him. She was hopeful that he was ready to share what had happened. She just wanted to understand him. “Ummm, can we sit to talk?”

“Please.” she said and he chuckled and helped her down and to the couch just in the next room over. He flicked on the lamp they had in there to give the space a nice warm glow and she got comfortable on the couch, her back to the armrest as she brought up her legs up over his and hugged a pillow to her body. Harry sat beside her, his hands on her legs and stroked over them softly as he collected his thoughts for a moment.

��Ummm…first off, again, I am so sorry for lying and hiding things from you. For continuing to see Chloe. For the way I’ve been acting the last few weeks, but more importantly for all of the awful things I’ve done today.” He apologized with a small frown, “I will never let myself forget what happened here, like…” he swallowed thickly, “Obviously it’s not the person I want to be.” He finished, “But in order to explain why I am so…vulnerable to Chloe’s shit…I ummm, I have to talk about my relationship with her and ummm…” He exhaled nervously and when his eyes met hers she could see the anxiety and fear and sadness in them, his hands even started trembling a bit and it absolutely broke her heart, “Baby, I mean this with my whole heart! I want to be able t-to talk about it but I can’t talk about this with you yet. And it’s not a you thing, I honestly have never talked about it properly with anyone.” He explained to her and her frown deepened upon hearing this. He’d been carrying this around all by himself for all of these years? He was certainly stronger than she had given him credit for.

“Being with her, those were the worst years of my life and I’ve learned to just accept what it was, you know? Like I can’t change the past and as much as it is what it is ummm…it still…it still hurts a lot if I think about it too much. And like… I wasn’t the best person when I was with her and like…” he sighed as he just worked up the courage to speak. He started anxiously picking at the sides of his fingers and she reached out and grabbed his hands, forcing him to look up at her, “Baby, I guess I’m afraid that if you hear how awful I was maybe you won’t feel the same about me or even look at me in the same way. I’m so ashamed about that whole part of my life and that’s why it’s hard to explain to you how this happened. But what I can tell you is that…I think a part of her is still like… she’s still in my head.” He frowned and she did as well, nodding in understanding. “And I have tried everything to just stop hearing her voice in there. Like, I’m already hard on myself but like…this is different. It’s like on a whole different level and it really makes me doubt myself. One thing she’d always tell me was that I wasn’t good enough for a family of my own. That because of my intense grief I wasn’t strong enough of a person to have…well, to have what we have together.” He said and Y/N shook her head in disbelief with a pout.

“She really said that to you?” She asked and he couldn’t bear to look at her as he nodded.

“Yeah. All the time. And I would see the way I’d treat my friends and my family and how…shitty I was and so I…believed it. I believed what she told me and I had made peace with it.” He chuckled sadly, “It was the reason why she “couldn’t be faithful” to me,” he said with air quotes, “Because I wasn’t good enough for a real committed relationship and I think that…when I do something wrong or I…hurt your feelings, like when I told you I felt trapped,” he said and she nodded, “I think ummm…it’s like a confirmation bias, you know? Like everything she said about me was right. Like I wasn’t built for this. Like I don’t…deserve it.” he explained and Y/N’s heart was breaking for him, “I hope this is enough o-of an explanation for you, but that’s all I can talk about right now without feeling like…basically like she’s won. Again.” He explained softly. Just the idea of him feeling like Chloe had won made Y/N’s blood boil in a way she had never felt before. She would equate it to the wrath of god. She couldn’t believe someone would be so cruel on purpose.

“Look at me, H.” She said quietly, his eyes met hers again with some uncertainty. But Harry was relieved that she wasn’t looking at him with pity, like he was broken. There was just love and compassion as she looked at him, “Look at what we have together and how far you’ve come from that! She didn’t win then and she hasn’t won now. You have.” She said to him and Harry just felt the lump in his throat bob violently before he started to sob.

“And yes, what you’ve shared is enough for now and you’re enough for me. More than! Always.” She offered a soft and encouraging smile, “And I do forgive you, baby. And your family forgives you too. And look, that’s all good and well, but I think you might still be so affected by all of this because…you haven’t forgiven yourself.” She explained and his eyes softened as he choked on another sob, “What you said earlier about not forgetting about what happened, I agree that we need to sometimes remind ourselves of past instances where we went about things the wrong way. Like we can’t erase mistakes, they help us learn and do better, right? But it shouldn’t be this thing where you’re holding your mistakes over your head all the time, baby. I love you so much and so does your family, none of us are ever going to hold your shortcomings over your head. So why should you?” She asked him and he shrugged as he gasped for air. “Oh, come here, my love.” She tutted and he just surged forward and nestled into her side as best as he could. “I love you so much.” She said softly.

Sure, he had made things right with everyone else he had hurt and it was enough for a while but he had never gotten around to making things right with himself. And ultimately the forgiveness and acceptance that he needed the most to be able to heal fully was his own, but he wouldn’t be able to do that alone.

“I love you.” He hiccuped, “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. You mean everything to me. You’re my whole life. You have to know that. I’m sorry.” He whispered over and over as she just held him for several minutes until his crying calmed down enough that he could properly breathe again.

“Baby, when I say this to you it’s just a suggestion and like…I want you to seriously consider it.” She said and he hummed, “H-have you ever thought of meeting with a therapist to like…work through all of this?” She asked and he pulled back and nodded as he sniffled.

“Yeah, I’ve made so many appointments but ummm…I always flake out because I think that…that they’ll get a look at me and be like how does some scary looking guy let another person fuck him up so badly? Like why couldn’t I have just left sooner or like…seen through her shit, you know?”

“Well, first off it’s no one’s place to judge you, specially a therapist. But also, when I said Chloe is not sane, I mean that, like medically.” She said and Harry chuckled and bit through his tears and she smiled, “It really wasn’t an insult to her, like just from the ten minutes I spoke with her it was clear that she has issues of her own to resolve. I’m sure she has the capacity to be a great person, like all people do! And I’m sure that the version of her you first met and interacted with and even…fell in love with wasn’t this.” She said and he nodded.

“Yeah, not really.” He confirmed.

“I mean, maybe she has her own mental illness that she never talked to you about or something in her past that’s made her this way. But like…if it’s something serious and chronic, like a personality disorder, for example…if you’re not emotionally equipped to handle that, which most people who aren’t trained professionals aren’t, it can be extremely traumatic to have people like that in your life, H. And I will acknowledge that you’ve done a fantastic job of healing on your own and regaining your light and your nurturing and loving nature! Trust me, I see it every single day, baby, and I’m so proud of you for it.” She reassured him, “We all love how hard you love us and value us all, but I think it’s time to do that for yourself too. I mean, just in light of being parents now it’s something to…to consider.” She said and he nodded, “Like…I’ll probably need some therapy too after the fallout with my family. Like, I think about it and I feel so angry at them and I feel…betrayed by them and I want to get back at them somehow.” She explained, “But I don’t want our baby to grow up and see that unresolved anger and spite towards them. Like, obviously what they’ve done has hurt me unimaginably and who knows how long this beef’ll last with them…” she sighed, “But like, it’s OK to feel hurt, but I don’t want to walk around for years being angry and bitter at them. It’s just not healthy, you know?”

“Yeah, I think you’re right.” He said softly.

“You deserve to heal from this, baby.” She said and he nodded. They were quiet for a few seconds as she let him process all of this.

“Baby? D-do you think if I do…therapy that they’d let you stay with me until I feel comfortable doing it alone?” He asked and she smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, I think that shouldn’t be an issue.” She assured. “Though with the baby coming soon it might be a little tough.”

“We’ll just do it online for a bit then.” He said and she smiled and nodded, “Can I kiss you?” He asked and she nodded.

“Of course.” She said and he was careful and he kind of straddled her and leaned in to kiss her lips gently before pulling her into his side and getting comfortable beside her as best as they could with their limited space not he couch.

“You know, you’re the complete opposite of Chloe.” He said softly, “I think that’s why at first I hated you.”

“Hated?!” She gasped playfully and he smiled and shrugged a bit.

“If not hate, it was pretty close to it.” He confessed and she sniggered a bit.

“If I was the opposite, why would you hate me?” She questioned in some confusion.

“Because ummm…you weren’t her. Like I wasn’t in love with her anymore but I did miss the good bits.” He said softly, “I think that first day, after we had that little tiff and then you came back in and apologized? That just threw me off my orbit.” He said through a chuckle, “And I felt like a fucking child…like I didn’t know anything about human interactions. No one had been accountable for their shit and apologized to me in…fuck I couldn’t even remember. It made me angry that you felt I needed an apology because I felt like… I didn’t deserve it so I was a dick to you. Like…almost as if I needed to prove to you why I didn’t deserve your niceties or an apology. And down the line, it’s like, I wanted to see your ugly side but your reactions to my antagonizations were always the opposite of what I expected and…wanted to some extent. But that really shone a light on how badly I was being treated before and seeing you growing and flourishing and everyone liking you from the get-go…for me it was like…everything I’d ever wanted and wished for was being given to someone else. All that support and affection and friendship. Even I liked you, but I was jealous. And then you were so nice to me when I got stood up and it…gave me hope again.” He explained to her and she hummed in acknowledgment, letting him get it all out there.

“That’s when I decided to stop dwelling on what I had endured and just let something good happen to me because I really needed it. I mean, I had no idea what would come of me letting you into my life. Maybe it was just going to be another lesson and loss…” he chuckled, “But letting you in was the best decision of my life, whether it was short-lived or long-haul, I just knew that I would never be the same after you, in a good way.” He smiled and she did as well. “I love you in ways I never knew were possible, even more so now that you’re carrying our little boy, I mean…” he inhaled sharply to prevent himself from crying again but he couldn’t help it and whimpered on a sob before speaking again, “I’m sorry for taking what we have for granted.” He sniffled, “This is really the most special thing two people can do together. And it’s not lost on me that…that I have to prove myself to you now and earn back the trust that I broke. But I promise you that I will work hard every single day to show you two that I’m the person you’ll need me to be.”

“You already do, baby.” She assured him, “And we all get in our heads or make mistakes sometimes. And I want you to know that I don’t expect perfection from you. I just want you to try your best and I’ll try my best.” She said with a smile, “Saw this thing from Brené Brown once about how she and her husband check on each other when they reconvene after their days.” She said and he hummed. “They have a rule that between the both of them they need to make 100% and they have like a limit for what’s passing. So say 80%. Like if one of us had a super shitty day, we focus on taking care of that person and our family. Like maybe we get takeout instead, or do the laundry the next day…whatever it be that we need to put aside, we put it aside and prioritize caring for the partner who is struggling the most.” She explained. “And if both of our scores are less than 80 combined s’the same concept, we just do what we need to do to look after ourselves and put everything else aside.”

“I really like that.” He said and she nodded.

“Me too. And like…I feel like maybe I’m a bit too emotionally attached to your grandma because of what happened with mine, you know?” She said and he nodded, “And I mean, I’m also starting to just think a lot about delivering the baby and sometimes I feel like…what did I get myself into…” she said through a little chuckle.

“Oh, as do I.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah…I’m terrified.” She admitted, “I also feel like maybe I might not be cut out for this sometimes and it’s not like I regret it, but sometimes I wonder if we moved into this too soon or…I don’t know, I just get in my head.” She explained and he frowned upon hearing this, “So I think, we’ve both been…struggling on our own for a while and not really communicating that to not worry the other. When in reality we’re supposed to be in this together and share the load and the worries and the joys. So I’m more than willing to just…have this last month just be us working this out together and preparing for our baby together.” She said and he smiled.

“Really?” He asked and she hummed, “And this has nothing to do with the fact that gran’s cleaned you out at gin every day last week?” He asked teasingly and she laughed.

“Well, just a bit.” She admitted and he chuckled, “But mostly because I’ve missed you the last few weeks.” She confessed, “I’ve missed you a lot.”

“I’ve missed you too. I have one condition though.”

“OK. Name it.”

“No more knitting. Please.” Harry pleaded with a small laugh.

“Fine…was planning on making you some slippers but-”

“I’m not an OAP! I don’t need knitted slippers. Also, they have no traction, so unless you want me to die tumbling down the stairs or something, no thanks.” He laughed and she giggled as well.

“Yeah, definitely not. So no knitting. I also have a condition.”

“Alright, name it and it’s done.”

“Brilliant! You’re going to tell your grandma about it just being us from here on out.” She said and he scoffed through a humorless laugh.

“Absolutely not. I can’t hurt her feelings like that…no way.”

“Well I can’t either! We’re besties!”

“We’ll draw straws.” He suggested.

“Baby, I’m pregnant. In such a delicate state, you can’t put such a stressful task on me. Besides, I already have to do the most grueling and difficult task bestowed upon a human being in just five weeks…so, I think you should take one for team Styles.” She said and he sighed loudly.

“You’re pulling that card are you?” He asked and she hummed smugly as she nodded and he chuckled, “That’s so mean.”

“I will while I can. Every. Single. Time. And you can take that to the bank.” She smirked.

“Fine…I’ll break up with my gran for you but you owe me big time for this…A favor of my choosing at the time of my choosing.”

“OK.” She agreed and he smiled and sighed happily as he relished in the feeling of her beside him once again. She literally was the best person he knew. They had fallen silent for a bit before his voice put an end to the quiet.

“My new passcode is your due date, 1707.” He said softly, “I changed it 2 weeks ago actually, before all of this because Archie really did download like 10 games and also managed to purchase like fifty pounds worth of something on one of them.” He clarified and she smiled. “And…Chloe’s first text actually has a perfectly reasonable explanation. Which is that we biked to SOHO, on those electric bikes? After we’d grabbed a coffee.” He said and she started to giggle, “Also we both happened to attend the same indoor cycling class…that’s how we saw each other again. So after an hour of that and then randomly biking to SOHO and back-”

“Pelvic floor and leg pain guaranteed…” Y/N cut in and he nodded, “God, cycling is just the worst.”

“It’s just not for everyone.” He said and she smiled.

“Just for sadomasochists.” She joked and he laughed.

“Should we go to bed?”

“Yeah, baby.” She hummed.

He was so happy they had been able to talk before the day was out. After this experience and conversation with Y/N, Harry mentally decided that he wouldn’t be so scared to communicate with her ever again. It never really went how he imagined it would. He was a classic self-saboteur and over-thinker, so he would picture the worst case scenarios more often than not. But Y/N always put all of her effort to listen and understand him and she was always patient and loving in her responses. She had proven it to him time and time again. She really was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he felt so lucky to be loved by her.

**********

The next day Harry had a conversation with his grandmother when he drove her back to his mum’s house. He came clean about everything and the reason why they needed this time alone together. She was understanding, of course, but did give him a bit of a talking to though. However, she too told him that she loved him when they said goodbye.

In lieu of her being over all day though, they decided to just ask her, his mum, and Julie over for dinner a couple times a week and that had actually been really pleasant. It gave Harry a chance to really brush up on his cooking skills, because Y/N and Julie had him spoiled back in LA. But soon enough he’d have to look after Y/N while she recovered from the baby. And tonight they were having dinner alone, but he decided he’d make her shepherd’s pie with cheesy top. It had been a childhood favorite of his and well, he hadn’t eaten it in nearly 8 years since he had chosen to be a friend and ally to the animals. But as he smelled it coming together he decided to cancel making one with meat substitute for himself and just indulging this time with her.

“Smells fantastic.” She hummed her compliment as she came into the kitchen slowly.

“Thank you, baby. I think you’re really gonna like this one.” He said as he continued washing the things he had used to prepare the dish. She walked behind him and lightly scratched at his back a few times before she passed him and went to the fridge. “What’re you looking for in there? Food’s about to be ready.”

“You had brought some cheese yesterday and I wanted a bit.” She said with a little smile and he chuckled.

“Sorry baby, s’in the food.” He explained and she pouted.

“Alright then…no snack for me.” She mumbled before turning back and walking back over to him.

Harry smiled when she hugged her body around his, her cheek smushed into his back before she kissed it a few times and then smiled, being just a bit of a bother as he tried to finish cleaning up, but he didn’t mind her clinginess.

They had been working really hard to patch up everything form before. Not just him, but her too. Sometime’s he’d find her crying over a new stretch mark or her achey boobs, or just from feeling so physically drained, or nervous about delivering the baby. He had no idea that she had been struggling on her own like this. The first few times she got embarrassed for it, but she still let him be there for her through it. And with him it was more of that fear he had about his ability to be a good father. He’d share his concern and doubts and they’d work through it together like a proper team, and just like that things were on the mend. Truly, being there at every moment, experiencing the way life was just coming into their little baby boy was tethering them to each other in ways that he never knew were possible. It was extraordinary to witness and even on the hard days they never failed to take a moment before bed to just be grateful for the life they had together.

… JULY …

Y/N’s due date was in two weeks and she and Harry had once again taken a drive to the hospital she was supposed to give birth at to really nail down the fastest route possible. She couldn’t really move so much now so they just went to the class to bounce on the yoga balls and socialize with the other people and to do the meditations and affirmations portion of it all. Harry could see the way it improved her confidence so he made a point to not miss the class. Being there he’d also started to make friends with some of the other non-birthing partners in the class. He’d even met up for lunch with a few of them once already and planned to continue nurturing those friendships. And well, he knew he could also count on Skye and Nathan to talk about these things if he ever had doubts. He loved how supportive Y/N was of him also needing to build his connections with other young and new fathers.

“I think the route we took yesterday was better.” Harry said as they pulled into their street.

“This one seemed shorter, no?”

“Technically yes, but I’ve noticed that they do construction at night and it gets backed up. So if the baby comes in the night it would be best to go the other way. We’d be taking more main streets, so the traffic lights will be in our favor.” He pointed out and she hummed.

“Good, strategic thinking, Mr. Styles.”

“Thank you, I try.” He smiled. “I can’t wait to meet him, baby.” He said with a wide grin.

“Neither can I! I just…I want to hold his little hand. He’s been a good baby so far, not throwing any crazy ragers in here.” She said and Harry nodded through a chuckle.

“Right. Mum said I was pretty even tempered until I was a toddler. Do you know if you were?” He asked her, glancing over to her quickly.

“Not too sure.” She responded. “I’ve been thinking about my parents a lot.” She said and he reached for her hand and she offered a tight lipped smile. Harry knew this was a very difficult and painful subject for her to broach.

“Yeah? With the baby?”

“Yeah.” She confirmed, “I wish they were happy for us. For me…” she said glancing up at him quickly and he nodded. “Ughh, I don’t even know why it bothers me anymore!” She groaned in frustration, “It’s not like they’ve been present for the last 6 years of my life.” She mumbled.

“It’s your parents, baby. Of course it’s going to bother you.” Harry reasoned. “I know you don’t want contact but maybe if you’re up for it we can send a Christmas card for the holidays you know? That way they can see you’re doing good and also see Charlie.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I don’t want them to ever tell me I never tried, you know?”

“Exactly. I think it’s important that we do things like that. To show them that they’re still on our minds but that also, we’re doing really well. Just the right balance of considerate and petty.” He said with a little grin.

“Yeah, that’s so true.” She giggled. “I’m curious, what do you think will be your greatest strength as a dad?” She asked him and this made Harry smile as he thought about it.

“Hmmm…I don’t know…” he wondered aloud, “I haven’t thought of it.” He said honestly, “Maybe…ummm…” he said again and when she glanced over at him he was slightly frowning now. “Dunno, can’t think of anything.” He finally said lowly, as if disappointed in himself for not knowing and she was quick to scoff at his self doubt.

“Well I’ve thought about it a lot.” She said with a smile as they turned onto their street. “You’re really great when things get challenging, which I’m sure they will at some point, so I think you’d be the one who remains calm more than me. You’re also very patient, which I know will come in handy for…well the rest of our lives.” She said and he smiled, “You’re also really good at admitting your mistakes and doing what needs to be done to correct them, which is huge! I think responsibility and accountability are excellent traits to model for kids. You’re also the one with self-discipline and have far more structure than I ever will, and kids thrive on structure; you’re definitely going to be the parent that makes rules fun. You’re also very intelligent and a fast learner, and so open to change, so I think you will adjust a lot faster than I will to a baby. You can be fun and silly, which I think is one of my favorite things about you, you know when to be and when not to be.” She pointed out.

“I also think that the way you show your love is also very admirable and wholistic. Like you’re very adaptable with it based on the person’s needs. So if that means doing something for someone, carving out some time in your day for something, or just giving a cuddle when needed you’d do it. Literally, you’re so supportive, you do whatever it takes to show someone you love that you care about them.” She said, “Ughhh, you’re gonna be the best dad, H.” She said with a big smile as he parked the car in front of their garage and turned to her with a big smile as well.

“Wow, thank you. I got a little scared for a moment there…” he confessed, “Maybe I am very cut out for this.”

“Oh certainly.” She nodded.

“And you? What do you think you’d be best at?”

“I think I’m very patient as well, maybe not as much as you, but it’s up there.”

“I mean, you deal with me so I’d say you’re excellent at patience.” He said and she giggled.

“OK, well that…I also think I’m very good at empowering others and encouraging independence. So I think I’d be able to teach Charlie how to be capable and self-sufficient. I think I’m a great listener and very supportive. And I think that I’m good at communicating, so teaching Charlie right from wrong, boundaries, expectations…and of course, I think I would be able to love him wholeheartedly and unconditionally, which in the end is really the most important thing we could do for him, I think. I’ll definitely have to learn how to be a bit more firm from you, but other than that I think we’ve got mostly all the bases covered!” She said gleefully.

“I love you so fucking much.” Harry said with a loving smile.

“I love you too.” She hummed back happily and then her smile dropped a bit, “I’ve also been thinking about…like, if…” she exhaled shakily, “Like god forbid something goes…wrong-” She said and Harry’s good mood immediately melted away as he shook his head.

“Don’t even say that, Y/N…Please, Jesus…” He frowned with a disapproving shake of his head. Quite literally rejecting the idea verbally and physically.

“Like…I know it’s awful to think about but you just never know what the future holds and I just…I want you to know that if for any reason you’re faced with a difficult decision I want you to know that I fully trust you to do what you think is best.” Y/N stated as she reached for his hand and he glanced over to her, already feeling anxious at the prospect of anything going wrong. “I just…need you to promise me that you’ll trust your gut and know that I trust you too, with my life, babe. Always.” She said emphatically and he swallowed down that anxiety and nodded.

“OK. I promise.” He agreed solemnly and she offered a tight-lipped smile to him.

“I’m sorry if I’m scaring you. It’s going to be fine, everything looks great, you’ve heard the doctor say it as well. But just…just in case, you know?”

“OK.” He said before bringing her hand up to his lips and kissing it before expelling all of the negative thoughts now with a deep exhale.

“I’ve ruined the appetite for lunch, haven’t I?” She said monotonously and Harry’s lips quirked up in the biggest grin ever, “What?” She asked at his sudden shift in mood.

“That was maybe the most British-sounding thing you’ve ever said! It’s exciting!” He chuckled and she groaned.

“Oh god, please stop me before I become one of those people with a fake accent…” she mumbled and he laughed.

“I think you might develop one over time…I mean, if this is your home now a couple things are bound to rub off.” he shrugged with a satisfied little smirk.

“I know that, but just as long as I don’t sound like an idiot…”

“Oh you will for a bit, but we’ll love you just the same.” He assured with a grin and leaned over to kiss her lips despite the little pout on them, “OK, my excellent comedic timing and humor have helped me regain appetite. C’mon, my love.” He said as he unbuckled her seatbelt before undoing his own and hurrying over to help her down from the car.

Their afternoon was pretty quiet and now Y/N was having a nice cool bath before bed. Sure, it wasn’t LA hot, but try carrying around all of the extra weight and tell someone that 77 degrees isn’t scorching hot. Not to mention, their house wasn’t a new build so they didn’t have AC, much to Y/N’s chagrin. If there was anything she missed about LA it was that, even Julie was struggling because she preferred sleeping in the cold. So the next best thing was to just sit in a cool bubble bath for a bit so that she could be refreshed before getting into bed. She was smiling with her eyes closed and her tossed back, relaxing against her bath pillow as Harry’s shower playlist and his singing along filled the bathroom with a joyous sound. Wings’ “She’s My Baby” faded out as he switched off the water and there was a second of silence before the unmistakeable chords of Hot Chocolate’s “You Sexy Thing” came through the speakers.

“Woo!” Harry exclaimed in excitement and it made Y/N’s eyes flutter open as she laughed at his very enthusiastic reaction to the song. “I believe in miracles…where you frooo-om, you sexy thing? You sexy thing you.” He sang as he sashayed out of the shower and into her line of sight. She glanced over to him, shaking her head and fighting to hold in her laughter because he was stark naked, dancing in the bathroom as he serenaded her, “I believe in miracles since you came alo-o-ong, you sexy thing!” he sang now while pointing straight at her as he approached her; his toned body rolling smoothly as he danced his way over.

“Please be careful, you’re gonna slip!” She warned through her giggling as he came over to the tub.

“Where did you come from, baby?” He sang with a theatrical, inquisitive expression over his face as he tilted her chin up, “How did you know, I needed you? How did you know I needed you so badly? How did you know I’d give my heart-Oh shit!” He gasped, his eyes wide with fear as he slipped in his own puddle of water just as he was trying to step into the tub.

“I’m telling you to be careful!” She laughed as she shook her head and scooted up, hugging her knees to her body as much as she possibly could to let him slide into the bubble bath with her. When she felt his warmth behind her she stretched her legs again and fell back against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her as he rested his head against hers.

“Now you’re lying close to me giving it to meee-eee!” He continued singing against her as if he hadn’t almost eaten shit, “I believe in miracles…” he hummed as his hands left her bump and grabbed her thighs, “Where you from, you sexy thing?” He whispered now against the shell of her ear with a grin as his fingers inched towards her inner thighs.

They hadn’t actually done anything physically intimate for her in maybe three months, if not very close to that. And it wasn’t for lack of need, just the mechanics of it were getting weird for Y/N. She was eager to do anything for Harry, who didn’t want to accept unless she would allow him to reciprocate. But she’d always end up convincing him one way or another to at least accept a blowie or even just a hand job because lately his pleasure was enough for her. She just had this like…mental block when it came to her pleasure right now. She couldn’t concentrate enough to come for a lot of reasons. Like one time, they had tried to have sex and he was spooning her and she was starting to get close when the baby started to kick and it just got weird for her.

She obviously knew that physically Harry’s dick and their baby were nowhere near each other, but having both of those things happen simultaneously just killed the mood for her. She felt like they weren’t alone and it just made having an orgasm hard. Like did the baby feel what was going on? Or did all the chemicals her brain released from the pleasure make the baby more active? She had no idea, so she googled it…apparently they did feel something and after learning that it just got harder and harder for her. But did she want it, yes, and badly!

Harry was in a bit of a frisky mood himself. Over the last few weeks that they'd been spending alone, preparing for the baby, he had been experiencing these emotions he wasn't all that familiar with. He felt so possessive and protective of her right now, but in a way that made him lust after her. He knew that she didn’t feel gorgeous and radiant most of the time now, like she had at first, but to him she was the pinnacle of beauty, especially now. He loved how strong and powerful she was in every capacity. He appreciated the new things he learned her body could do and how it adapted and changed as she literally nurtured their son to life. He felt so proud of her, but also of himself. Lately it made him all hot and bothered to know that she was carrying his baby, that he had done this with her, to her. That everyone knew this when they’d go to yoga or out on walks or to run errands together. Y/N was beautiful, anyone with the ability to see it could see that, so when anyone would steal a glance of her and then see her bump while he protectively loomed over her they’d know that she was all his and that just made him feel feral and so fucking cocky.

He’d never given much thought to how real the theory of evolution was, but this innate and almost animalistic need to protect what was his, to show off what he’d done with her, to take care of her and their son, it was instinctual. It came from some unearthed primal part of himself that he didn’t know he had until now. And Harry loved this new side of himself and knowing that his precious and sexy little wife had a breeding kink basically had him simmering all the time. Sure, she was having a hard time orgasming as of late, but as he nipped at her earlobe while his fingers felt the slimy texture of her around as he dipped his fingertip at her opening, he knew that she wanted it badly and he was going to give that to her. He was happy to revisit some of their kinkier preferences to help her surrender to her pleasure.

“Baby…” she whispered as he guided his slicked up finger to her clit and swirled it around it, teasing her just a bit before she wriggled a bit and he took the hint to rub over her sensitive and surely needy little bud. Harry was relishing in the satisfied exhale that had her melting against his body.

“I know it’s been hard, but you’re going to come for me.” He mumbled lowly and she moaned, “Remember before? I’d just keep going until you couldn’t help but come for me? That’s how we’re gonna do this. Fuck, I need to taste you, my love. Need it so bad.” He groaned as his cock started to stiffen up at the idea of getting to lick and lap at all her sensitive spots until she was writhing in pleasure beneath him.

“Fuck, please H.” She sighed breathily and he smiled as he brought his left hand up to her breast.

He was gentle as he squeezed it in his palm and rubbed his thumb over her nipple, back and forth, feeling it growing harder and harder with each rub over it. She was already so sensitive there as her body got closer and closer to her due date. She was just so tender that his touches soon started to overstimulate her sensitive nipple until she was gasping. She could feel her clit throbbing and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to just focus on the pleasure, to not lose that spark that was flickering inside of her.

“Rub your clit f’me.” He instructed as his other hand came to her right breast. Her nipple already peaked from the pleasure she was experiencing, but when he started teasing that one as well she started to spark up. “That’s it, baby. Feel how good it is?” She nodded as she whined out lowly at just how overwhelming it was starting to feel. Her nipples ached and her back was slightly arching into his touch and out of nowhere he pinched them between his thumbs and index fingers. She choked on a groan before he let go and she was panting in relief as her body relaxed against his, “Did it hurt?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah, but in a good way.” She responded lowly as two of her fingers swirled and brushed over her clit.

“‘In a good way?’” He teased her haughtily, repeating her own filth back to her, “Made you a wife and a mum, a nice respectable woman, but nothing’s gonna change the fact that you’re a filthy little slut for me, will it?” He teased and she whimpered as he pinched at her nipples again, “I know she’s still in there, my favorite little freak. That perfect little cum slut that took every fucking load, like a good girl.”

“Harry-” she swallowed thickly as she felt her body starting to burn from the inside out. Wincing at the pressure being applied to her sore nipples once again.

“And look at you now, pregnant with my baby for being such a desperate and needy little thing…” he mused, “And you’re as beautiful as the day I first saw you and then some.” He smiled, “Fuck, it drives me insane knowing that I did this to you. You’re all mine, aren’t you?” He asked and she nodded, “Say it. Tell daddy, you’re his.”

“Yes, I’m all yours, daddy.” She whimpered as her legs started to tense up as her pleasure increased.

“Yes, you are. Always gonna take such good care of you, my love.” he promised. “I’m gonna need you to get out of your pretty, little head and let me do just that.” He purred.

Before she knew it, he was helping her onto their bed so that she was reclining against the headboard and he kissed her sloppily before dropping down to his tummy and kissing in between her legs. His tongue was flicking at her clit over and over and over again. He was aiming to get her from sharp inhales to animalistic moans. How she had missed his mouth…she obviously hadn’t been in the mood to maintain herself as religiously as before and she knew Harry didn’t mind, but she was a bit embarrassed about it too. But feeling his mouth and tongue zealously working to get her off she threw out all the shame she felt. He really didn’t seem to care one bit.

“Please use your fingers.” She mumbled and she moaned in relief when he fit two of his long, thick digits into her entrance. He expertly massaged her walls with them, finding and stimulating her internal pleasure points before curling his fingers up and settling at her g-spot. It had been so long that she almost immediately started to lose it. She was so sensitive and eager for an orgasm. She wished she could properly see him, but the bulge of her belly was mostly in the way, she couldn’t even comfortably grab his hair or head, this caused for her legs to kick and writhe as she had no other way to express her pleasure. “Oh my god, baby! I’m so close!” She gasped and he moaned against her pussy before gently sucking at her clit until her legs were trembling and she was coming undone with a scream of his name. “Fuck Harry!” She wailed as he kept going despite her sensitivity. Her head was thrown back and she was whimpering at the overstimulation as he refused to come to a stop. Soon the torture morphed back into pleasure as she surrendered herself to the idea that Harry was set on making up for lost time right now.

“Oh my god, don’t stop…please, don’t stop!” She whispered breathlessly as her fingers dug into the bed covers until her knuckles were white. Harry’s moans seemed to be reverberating through her entire body as his fingers plunged deep into her and fucked her sweet spot until once again, she was crying out as her orgasm crashed over her. Rolling her in beautiful currents of pleasure. His continuous movements were drawing out the delicious, ticklish feeling that was bursting from her tummy through her body. “Mmm, that’s so good.” She hummed as he started to just lap over her clit, gradually coming to a slow to ease her out of it. Her breathing was ragged as the aftershocks of her orgasm caused her legs to twitch and tingle.

“You alright there?” He asked smugly as he kissed her inner thigh.

“More than. Wow, thank you.” She giggled breathily and he smiled before pressing himself up and leaning over her to kiss her lips quickly.

“Can I reciprocate?” She mumbled against his lips.

“Fuck no.” he hummed and she chuckled.

“Baby, please…” she begged.

“We either have sex or the blowie. And I’d much rather do the things that will get the both of us off. Unless you’re done.” he mumbled against her lips.

“Not done, just don’t know if I could even come from penetration.” She explained, “So I’d rather you get to come properly than to keep trying to make me finish that way when I don’t even think I will.” She reasoned.

“Well good thing I got you a little something to help.” He said and she furrowed her eyebrows as he drew back. “Wait here.” He hummed before pecking her lips once more.

“Not a problem.” She assured him as he hurried off of the bed, “Don’t even think I could move from this position.” She said to herself. She was so over being pregnant that she wasn’t even too concerned about the birthing part, she just wanted her body back for herself. She wanted to be able to move how she wanted, to walk around without feeling like every step she took created a small scale seismic event, she wanted to stop feeling swollen and tired. She wanted to sleep on her back, even if she never really had before, but she just missed having the option! She was about fucking ready.

“OK, so I got you this.” He said coming out with a pink silicone vibrating ring. It had little bunny ears though, which she deduced were for her clit. Harry had always been the one to bring toys into their sexual life and each time she’d been blown away, so she knew this time would be no different. “S’got 5 speeds.” He said as he climbed back on the bed, kneeling before her. “You can wear it so you can control it.” He said and she nodded, reaching out for it to inspect it.

“Well, thank you.” She giggled in amusement and he chuckled.

“Course, baby.” He responded with a smile.

Shifting from their typically intense and fiery preferences when they had sex, Harry was gentle and slow paced. He’d never been one to rush into things, but right now he was doing everything he possibly could to help her relax so that she could be in a headspace where she was enjoying every bit of this instead of worrying about everything. Harry’s lips kissed up her arm, making her smirk at the tickle from his scruffy facial hair. As he trailed up her neck she let her head roll to the side to give him space to suck and smooch at her neck to his heart’s content. His hands had made their way to her breasts, gently massaging them, easing the soreness that she’d been feeling more intensely over the last weeks. She was about to have his baby, she should allow herself to spoiled by him. She sighed as he licked over her nipple before sucking gently, letting his tongue flit about.

“Just not too hard.” She whimpered when he got lost in it and bit down on her a bit.

“Sorry, baby.” He mumbled before moving to the other, “You can start using your ring by the way.” He said and she giggled breathily before fiddling with it to get it on. In the meantime, Harry started suckling at her other nipple, making her impatient to get the fucking thing on. When it switched on she immediately got the chills as she watched the little “ears” buzzing vigorously.

“Help me, yeah? I can’t actually see down there.” She said and he popped off of her with a chuckle and pulled back to help her position it over her clit perfectly. He smirked when she gasped as the ear vibrated the whole of her clit. She was already sensitive from the orgasms he’d given her with his mouth. Even on the low setting, it was intense and he glanced up to see her eyebrows pinched together as her clit was basically embraced by the vibrator. “I’m coming!” She mewled and he couldn’t help but laugh in delight as she started to pull it away, but he held her hand there until her legs were trembling and she was screaming, convulsing and out of control. “Baby!” She gasped.

“You can do it. Give yourself another one.” He said with wild eyes and she shook her head. Of course she wanted another one, but she was getting pummeled by these orgasms, she’d been without them for so long that they felt monumental to her. “Or should I turn it up and make you?” He asked and she moaned and just tossed her head back as she waited for it to build up again. When she felt him sinking his fingers back into her sopping entrance she knew she was done for.

“Fuck me!” She gasped when he curled them into that spot only he seemed to have found. He was diligent as he prodded into it without pulling his fingers out too far. She exhaled shakily as she felt her orgasm building again. And he smiled before going just a bit harder, “Fuck baby, just like that! Fuck, don’t stop!” She pleaded.

“Yeah? Gonna come for me?”

“Yes! Yes…fuck you’re gonna make me come!” She panted and moments later her muscles were contracting around his fingers. Squeezing and retracting harshly as she grew sticky with her come. The wet sounds of his fingers inside of her growing louder as her orgasm started peaking. He could feel her hips following his movements until she started to come down from it. The pulsing of her inner walls becoming more and more sporadic. When she finally opened her eyes he let go of her hand and she pulled the vibrator away as she swallowed thickly to catch her breath.

“Good?”

“So good.” She sighed with a smile as with drew his fingers from her. He glanced down to see them absolutely coated in her arousal and come. He reached down to his cock, already dribbling with precum and smeared her sticky, milky mess along his shaft.

“Fuck.” He cursed lowly. He was way too hard, he felt the ache shooting down to his swollen balls. He was back to not getting himself off, only would come when she’d do something for him, so he was overdue for his own orgasm and his excitement was evident of it.

She couldn’t necessarily see between her legs to get a view of him stroking his cock, but she bit her lip hard and watched as his muscular arm shifted back and forth with his strokes. It was like the perfect tease. She had seen his cock so many times that she could just imagine how he was stroking it, how he’d thumb over the tip to smear his precum down and lubricate his cock for a better glide. His eyes were honed in on her pussy. She imagined it was pobably, pulsing and glistening with the evidence of her orgasms. When his eyes raked up her body he smiled.

“Damn, look at you.” He groaned, there was a hunger in his eyes that she’d never seen before. “Look so fucking perfect.” He said and she smiled, “It just makes me…so fucking crazy that you’re pregnant with my baby.” He said and she realized what was going on.

“Yeah?” She asked quietly and he nodded. “It gets you off that you knocked me up?” She asked, playing along and he nodded. “S’what you wanted, isn’t it?” She asked.

“Fuck yeah, thought about it so many times.” He hummed as he started stroking faster. “Thank fuck I did. You’re exquisite.” He said. “Can’t wait to do it again.” He smirked friskily and she chuckled.

“Please fuck me.” She said and he nodded. He helped her onto her side and laid behind her and helped her get a bit more comfortable.

Y/N’s heart was pounding with excitement just from feeling his big cock smushed against her backside. He help position her hand with the vibrator back over her clit. She whimpered and struggled with keeping it there, already clutching to the bedcover to not get too carried away yet.

Harry was taking his time, thrusting between her legs, wetting his cock with all of her slick. The squelching sounds of it all were enough to make her dizzy. She lived for the feeling of his tip catching against the dip of her entrance over and over with increasing speed until his arm wrapped around her body to pulled her flush to his body and then he just plunged inside all the way and she gasped at the sudden, but most welcomed intrusion. He moaned lowly and buried his face in the back of her neck, biting down gently as he started to thrust slow and deep. She forgot how thick he was as he split her walls apart with his methodical thrusts. She could hardly make any sounds as her body vibrated with pleasure. The bulbous head of his cock was colliding into that spot where his fingers had been and she was literally seeing stars. Harry could tell he was getting her off as her walls started to squeezing him, attempting to keep him in place.

“So. Fucking. Tight like this…” he strained out in pleasure. She was so wet and hot, and with her legs squished together her walls felt so pillowy and mushy around his cock. He swore he was losing brain cells from how incredible she felt around him. Harry was fighting every instinct in his body that was screaming for him to just pound into her mercilessly. But that very self-control was getting him off. God, he’d missed having her like this…he missed her body. He knew that she missed this too. Especially as she begged for him to go just a bit harder and when he obliged she moaned loudly and he smiled.

“Yes H, just like that…just like that, baby.” She mewled.

“Oh, I’m so fucking close. Please baby. Please come for me.” He panted.

Y/N was so close to coming undone. Her body was teetering over the edge, her toes curling as she clung to that sharp strike of pleasure she’d get every time Harry’s cock collided into her spot.

“Fuck…fuck, honey.” He rushed out and started grinding into her and that’s when she lost it.

Her vision was growing blurry and her jaw was falling slack as her orgasm hit. Y/N tossed her head back against his shoulder as a wave of ecstasy just washed over her. She saw white and her ears started ringing and her legs trembling in response. Her breathing was caught as her orgasm coursed through her like fire in her veins. She pulled the vibrator away as it was starting to be too much, but it didn’t do much since Harry was now about to come.

Harry stilled deep inside of her and she could feel the intense twitches of his cock inside of her as heavy spurts of his sperm shot out of him, filling her up. She let out a scream of pleasure that she hadn’t heard before as just feeling that inside of her made her come again, a g-spot orgasm…it had her already frazzled mind fracturing. Harry started thrusting erratically as he filled her up, milking out every drop he could inside of her. His praises and curses were spurring her on further and how she wished that she could’ve watched his face as his brain melted with that orgasm. She could feel him leaking out of her with each thrust now, wetting her thighs and surely making a mess of the bed beneath them until he slowly came to a halt.

“Had so much for me, didn’t you?” She whispered breathlessly and he nodded, swallowing thickly as he caught his breath.

“If you weren’t already pregnant with my baby, you sure would be now.” He panted as he held her close and then kissed the back of her neck. “I love you. I love you. I love you. So much.” He hummed before kissing down her shoulder. His hand found hers and intertwined their fingers.

“I love you too, baby.” She smiled happily, “Thank you so much for all of the effort you put into this. I needed it.” She confessed and he chuckled.

“Course. Anything for my girl.”

***********

The last week had been hard. Y/N swore she’d been going into labor a couple times only for her to make it through the days without anything more happening. She was physically exhausted and mentally drained, she just needed to get their baby out of her body as soon as possible. She was starting to get contractions, little ones, that really had no effect on her yet but then on the 14th, the mucus plug started to fall out. She did freak out when she first found traces of it in her underwear and after extensive googling she realized what it was and started to mentally prepare for the baby coming soon. And then on the 16th it’d been nearly the entire day of small contractions. But they weren’t necessarily getting any worse, they were bothersome, but not advancing or coming at a faster pace, but regardless she was vigilant and Harry was obsessively timing them. But when nightfall came and they remained consistent to how they had been they decided to just go to sleep.

Y/N woke up a bit after midnight because she was having this dream where she was giving birth. And as she started to wake up she felt a growing pain and then lots of pressure in her pelvis. She was passing it off as the baby moving or maybe her contractions were getting stronger. But then her eyes opened wide when she suddenly felt her pants growing warm as she soaked them through and the bed beneath her as well. She was wide awake now upon realizing that her water had just broken.

“Shit….” She grumbled as she threw the covers off and tried to hoist herself up but was struggling. “Harry.” She said, reaching for him and patting at his arm.

“Hmmm?” He grumbled tiredly.

“You need to help me up, my water broke!” She said to him and he just grumbled.

“That’s ok. You’re ok.” He mumbled groggily and then she chuckled and reached to her bedside table to turn on her lamp.

“Baby, please wake up. It’s almost time. Our son is coming soon!” She said with more volume and that seemed to get his attention as he sat up in a panic. “Hey, hey, relax.” She said as he looked discombobulated as can be.

“You said the baby is coming. Or was it a dream?” He asked looking completely out of sorts. Hair wild and eyes heavy with sleep.

“Yeah, he’s coming. My water broke just now.” She informed and his eyes widened as he looked down at her lap.

“Oh my god. Oh my god…OK.” He said as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and got out of bed. “D’you wanna head straight there or have a quick shower so you’re nice and refreshed, or what do you want to do?” He asked her in slight panic.

“This is the first big one, I don’t think we can even be admitted yet. Let’s just have a shower and get ready to go for when they come quicker.” She suggested and he nodded.

“Yeah, OK.” Harry nodded.

“Knew I should’ve done it before bed.” She mumbled and he smiled as he hurried over to her side to help her out of bed. He was moving fast and she grabbed his hands while he reached for her body to help her and he looked to her with confusion.“Come here.” She giggled and he knelt before her and she grabbed his face gently.

“What is it?” He insisted with worry and she sighed and shook her head.

“Nothing, I just need you to please calm down or I’ll start to freak out with you.” She said and he chuckled.

“I don’t…think I can. I mean…a baby, our baby is ready t-to be born…” he chuckled nervously. “Like…he’s coming out of you!” He said with wild eyes, “I mean…oh my god, I thought about the cervix thing again…” he shook his head and she groaned.

“Don’t think about that!” She laugh nervously.

“I’m sorry.” He chuckled and she sighed as she shook her head in disapproval, before cracking a smile at him.

“I love you, but please just…I’m scared enough as it is and I’m trying my best to just think positive. Let’s just have a nice and relaxing shower, you’re gonna have to help me shave though, for visibility purposes.” She said and he nodded.

“Right, a clearer view is probably best for them, right?”

“I’d imagine so.” She giggled.

“I just want him to be here already.” He said earnestly and she smiled.

“Me too.” She hummed and then leaned forward to kiss his lips quickly. “I can do this.”

“You can.” He reassured and then she took a deep breath before letting it out slowly, “I love you.”

“I love you. Let’s do it.” She said decidedly.

With that they hurried into the shower. She’d be in hospital for a day or so and he knew how relaxing showers were for her, so he was extra considerate of her routine. He wanted to skip some of her steps, but for her sake he stuck to them. Shaving her proved to be quite challenging, but they were laughing about it, reminiscing about that time he decided to lick at her sugar scrub only to learn it was in fact soap. And the shower was certainly helping her release all of the scary and anxious thoughts. He’d been doing perineal massages on her for the last month because she was so afraid to tear, so he did a bit of that as he helped clean her up a bit, even if it was just to reassure her.

“Just wait here, let me get your robe.” Harry said hurrying out of the shower. He was just about to help her step out when she suddenly squeezed his hands hard, her nails dug into his wrist making him wince until he glanced up at her and saw her face twisted in pain. So he sucked it up, waited for the contraction to pass.

“Sorry, baby. Didn’t mean to hurt you.” She whispered lowly, brows still pinched and eyes squeezed shut as she calmed.

“S’alright. Is it bad?”

“I can manage, it was just sharper than I anticipated.” She said and he nodded.

“C’mon, lets get you dried.” He said.

Once he had helped her get dried up he helped her get moisturized while she got her skincare on. Then he helped her get into the clothes they had left out already and started helping her pack up her final things to take to the hospital. Y/N was lightly primping herself umm she knew she didn’t need to do it, but she was treating this like any other day. She was sticking to her routine to stay calm. Meanwhile, Harry was getting everything into the car, they had agreed not to call and wake Anne and Julie yet since her contractions were still about 20 minutes apart, so they still had some time to go.

“OK, everything’s in the car.” Harry said as he came back into the bathroom to clean himself up a bit as well.

“Perfect, thank you baby.” She hummed. He nodded and then reached into the drawer with his razor. “Don’t shave.” She said and he glanced up at her.

“What if it’s scratchy on the baby’s face?” He asked and she pouted a bit.

“But you look so hot like this.” She whined quietly and he chuckled and turned and grabbed her face and kissed her deeply before rubbing his nose against hers.

“Guess I’ll just have to be extra cautious with the baby.” He said and she smiled in satisfaction.

“Do you think we should try getting a bit more sleep?” She asked.

“What if you don’t wake up in time?”

“I don’t see how that would be possible.” She smiled.

“Right… alright, let me change the sheets.” He said and she nodded and went to grab clean ones while he stripped the bed. Once he had stripped them she went to put them in the washer as he redressed the bed. And then they were laying down again, Y/N on her side as Harry rubbed her back gently.

It was nearing 5am now and Y/N kept waking up with each contraction that came, now they were less than 10 minutes apart from what she was noticing. So once again, she woke Harry and now they were on their way to the hospital. They checked in with ease and when they checked her out she was 5 centimeters dilated. She was breathing through the pain like she’d been told, but this was on another level. She kept squeezing Harry’s hand hard, they were waiting for them to come give her the epidural. She just needed the quiet and he was so respectful of it. Anne, Hillary, and Julie showed up a bit after 6am, but were not allowed in yet since they were still waiting for the epidural to kick in and when it finally did and the pain had subsided enough Harry just encouraged Y/N to get a bit more sleep while he went out and shared her progress with their family.

Harry came back in after about half an hour to find Y/N fast asleep and he kissed her forehead lightly before taking a seat beside her and sighing contently. He felt overwhelmed with hope, happiness, excitement, nerves…this was huge. Harry felt so lucky to have found her. And more lucky that she had not given up on him and melted away his cold exterior with her empathy and kindness. He felt lucky that she had fallen in love with him and chosen to share a life with him. And now here they were, waiting for her to give him the perfect gift. A lovely little boy that would complete their little family. He glanced up when a nurse came in quietly.

“Hi, just going to check on her progress.” She said quietly. Harry nodded and squeezed Y/N’s hand a bit and she stirred awake.

“Baby, the nurse needs to check on you.” He said softly and she nodded groggily and just bent her legs up to give the woman space to see how she was doing. It was closing in 7:30am now and the nurse smiled as she reared back.

“You’re moving along quite well, quite quickly he’s an eager one. You’re at 6 centimeters.” She said with a smile.

“Oh good.” She hummed.

“Not too much pain?”

“No, this is good.” She assured the woman.

“Excellent. It tends to speed up from here, you’re getting close.” She said with a smile.

“Thank you.” Y/N smiled.

“You’re very calm, this is good energy you two are maintaining. Keep it up.” She encouraged them and with that she headed off.

“Hear that, my love?” He asked her sweetly before pressing a kiss to her warm forehead. “Almost.” Harry hummed and she smiled and nodded.

“Yeah.” She assured him, her expression falling a bit and he looked at her a bit skeptically.

“What’s the matter? Are you in more pain than you’re letting on?” He asked her.

“I mean there’s pain but it’s very tolerable. This epidural thing is where it’s at.” She giggled and he chuckled a bit.

“I’m glad it’s working.” He said with relief. He knew this was probably the hardest thing a person ever had to do and he was more than glad that so far the experience was going well for her. As much as he wanted to meet and hold his baby boy, he wanted for her to have the best and smoothest delivery possible.

“Are you gonna look?” She questioned with a knowing smirk.

“I don’t know yet.” He confessed with a smile and she giggled.

“As long as you don’t pass out on me.” She warned and he sniggered.

“I’ll try my best not to.” He assured her. “You’re so calm. It’s making me feel bad for being so anxious.” He explained.

“Don’t feel bad. You’re not showing it. I think if I were feeling more pain I would definitely be more anxious. But also, if I freak out I’m just gonna have a harder time doing this and it’s gonna take me longer and I just want to meet him so bad!” She confessed, “I don’t want to take longer than necessary to finally get to hold our baby.” She said and he hummed.

“Yeah, you’re right about that.” He hummed as he tucked her hair behind her ear tenderly, “I love you so much, baby. More than I ever thought I could. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I promise that I will try my best for you and for Charlie, always.” He said with conviction and she smiled.

“I know you will, H. You already do.” She hummed as she grabbed his hand and kissed it and he smiled down at her.

Y/N wished she could have Julie, Anne, and Hillary in there with her as well. She was only allowed to have her partner in the delivery room. She also felt an underlying sadness because anyone would want their family’s support in this moment.

“H?”

“Yes, my love?” He asked her softly.

“What do you think he’ll look like? And be like?” She asked and he started to tell her how he envisioned their little boy. It was keeping her calm and giving her so much to look forward to and to push away the slight disappointment she was feeling. Their hushed conversation was so wholesome and well, his voice always helped soothe her, but especially now.

“Baby, I don’t want to mess anything up, but something’s off.” he said and she sighed.

“I was just…thinking of my family. It’s fine, but you know, just…sucks.” She said quietly.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, “Maybe they’ll come around when they see the baby.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah, maybe. My mom does love babies.” She said with a smile.

“Fuck, I can’t wait.” He said with a broad smile and she reached for his face and kissed his lips quickly. “Wanna try and rest a bit more?”

“No, I’m alright.” She said, “Maybe we can FaceTime the ladies now. Just have a nice chat with them.”

“Yeah. Let me get my phone.” He said before going over to the go bag with their things. They talked to Julie, Anne, and Hillary for quite a while. They were sweet and encouraging, wishing her the very best. Then they made a call to Alyssa and Gemma. Gemma had given her some tips. Reminding her to listen to her body through this entire process. During the conversation with Gemma, Y/N’s contractions started to get far worse towards the end, leaving her wincing and inhaling sharply.

“Best to get the nurse now, H.” Gemma said and he nodded.

“Love you, babe. You’ll be amazing, alright!” Gemma said to Y/N who nodded and then they hung up.

She was beginning to feel a bit more nervous, scared, excited, happy… there were so many emotions! But she wanted to be as calm as possible for this. She was doing a lot of meditating; when the emotions would get too big she would close her eyes, acknowledge them, take a few deep breaths and let them go, like she learned in yoga class.

“Can you bring me some more ice while you grab the nurse??”

“Yeah, of course.” He said and hurried out.

Y/N was so proud of Harry, he was doing a remarkable job of regulating himself to ensure that he continued perpetuating the vibe that she wanted to have in the delivery room. He was such a respectful and supportive partner. She really couldn’t have asked for anyone better than him to be beside her for this. Sure, she was doing the heavy lifting, but his support was an essential part of this delivery. They were a team and relied on each other to succeed. Now more than ever.

Harry returned with the nurse and her ice chips and when she checked she was bordering on 8 centimeters. This was excellent news. The nurse informed her that she would start prepping everything and that in about 20-30 minutes she would be good to start pushing. After a few minutes they started setting everything up and Y/N was starting to get nervous, so Harry was quick to grab her earphones and put on the playlist of her happy music. Encouraging her to close her eyes and just sing along quietly as he combed his fingers through her hair, handing her the cup of ice chips when she’d ask for some as the staff did their thing. And this is how they killed some time as they waited for the time to come.

They were currently singing along to “American Girl” quietly while she was free of contractions, she had about one song in between her contractions now, so things were moving along quickly. She was in the middle of crushing through some ice chips when her head fell back as she winced. She writhed around a bit as the pain peaked. She started to feel so much pressure between her legs it was unreal.

“Baby. Baby breathe.” He coached her and she tried to exhale smoothly, but it was coming out shakily.

“Oh my god…” she hissed with a scowl on her face when the worst of it passed. “I-it feels different than before. I think this is happening right now.” She whimpered, “Ow! Fuck!” She whined as her eyes started to fill with tears and he immediately reached for the call button on the bed.

“I’ve called the nurse, OK?” He assured she nodded. Moments later the nurse hurried into the room.

“Is everything alright?” She asked them.

“I feel a lot of pressure and I just…feel like I want to push.” She explained before wincing again.

“Alright, let’s check you out.” She said and then took another peek before sticking her gloved hand in between her legs to feel for any changes and her eyes widened. “He’s an eager little guy! I think you’re just about ready, love. I’ll go get the doctor.” She assured with a smile as she removed the gloves and rushed out of the room.

“You hear her, he’s coming.” Harry said to her with excitement and she nodded with a smile despite the pain she felt.

Moments later another contraction hit and she squeezed her legs together to fight the urge to push. She rolled her lips together and vocalized the pain through the harsh contraction. She moaned in pain and reached for his hand. Harry grabbed it immediately and let her squeeze as she exhaled shakily. Yes, it hurt how hard she was squeezing, he had no idea she even had that much strength in her! But this was as much as he could do for her right now so he would say nothing and take it, just as she was taking this feat on right now.

“You’re so fucking strong.” He said to her with a smile and she giggled despite the pain.

“I assume I’d have to be for this.” She said softly and he nodded and kissed her forehead with a smile. Just then the doctor came in with a few other nurses.

“Y/N, hi! I hear you’re ready to have this baby.” The doctor smiled at her.

“Yes. Beyond ready.” She let out a strained chuckle that the doctor reciprocated as she got geared up. One one of the nurses started to put a little monitor on her to gauge the contractions.

“Good. I think this will be a fast one.” She smiled at her. “Dad, are you planning on skin to skin with the baby?” She asked and Harry nodded right away. “Perfect, we’ll just clean him up and let him stick around with you for a bit.” The doctor said to them and they nodded. Harry then turned to her and grabbed Y/N’s hand, he was nearly trembling with excitement. His wide smile caused her to smile back despite the contraction that assailed her just then.

“We’re gonna meet him so soon!” He said as his eyes started to tear up and she nodded. She was already getting all misty-eyed as well just from all of the emotions. They were setting her up to get ready to push. Harry leaned down a bit and kissed her lips once more a few times, “You’re going to be amazing, yeah? So fucking amazing.” He whispered against her lips, “I love you the most.”

“I love you.” She hummed, “And remember what we talked about before.” She said and he shook his head.

“Yeah, but everything’s going to be great. OK? You’ve been in good spirits this whole time, been so calm, doing your breathing and mediations. You’ve got this.” He assured her and she nodded.

“I do. I’ve got this.” She repeated.

“Alright lovely, ready when you are.” The doctor said as she perched herself at the end of the bed, down between Y/N’s legs. Y/N nodded as one of the other nurses came to her other side and gave her a reassuring smile. “When you feel the pressure and the contraction bear your hips down and push, OK? Hold it as much as you can.” The doctor instructed and Y/N nodded. Her forehead beading with sweat as it suddenly started to feel a lot warmer than before. She glanced to Harry who just smiled at her reassuringly.

“Alright, get ready, Y/N.” The nurse beside her said and she just took a deep breath before exhaling it slowly.

“Here it is and push!” The doctor instructed and she put her entire strength into it. Clutching tight to the linens with one hand and the other in Harry’s, “Excellent job. Just hold it a bit more and good.” She said and she relaxed as the contraction passed and she caught her breath. She had about a minute break before she was instructed to push again and this happened a few more times. For the most part she was quiet, her screaming was all internal and she was taking in all of Harry’s affirmations as well, letting his words settle in and encourage her to keep going.

“Alright, great job. Give it one more go…” the doctor encouraged her. With this one she couldn’t help but groan in pain as the pressure just increased even further. It definitely was painful, more than anything she’d ever felt, but she could mentally cope with it, “Okay lovely, his head is down in the canal. You’ll be crowning soon, just take your time with this bit, OK?” She said and Y/N nodded as her tears started to stream down her face.

Harry was squeezing her hand just as hard as she started to push again. He was in awe of her determination. Of how calm she was, of how gorgeous she was and how strong she was. He bit his lip nervously as she groaned once again, pushing hard to help their baby descend.

“Alright, that’s good, Y/N. Relax a bit for me, OK?” The doctor said and she nodded and just tossed her head back on the bed as she panted a few times and Harry kissed her sweaty forehead and she smiled at him with tired eyes. It had been a long process to get her to this point. “Ready to push?”

“Not yet.” She said softly.

“Alright, just let it pass, let your body do its thing.” The nurse at her side said and she nodded.

“Can I sit up a bit more? I need a bit more leverage.” She said and she nodded and adjusted the top half of the bed to get it into a position that made her feel more comfortable.

“Better?”

“Yes. Much better.” She said with a gentle smile.

“OK, here comes another.” The doctor spoke up again and she bore her hips down, getting ready for further instructions, “Alright, lets focus on getting his head through with these next couple contractions alright?”

“OK.” She sighed.

“Here we go…a nice long push.” And she did as she was told, “Oh, very good, Y/N! He’s right there.” The doctor said, “And rest.” She exhaled shakily. The pressure was increasing even more and she was most scared of this part, but the position change had definitely helped her feel more in control of her pushing. “Alright, here comes another. Use the contraction, Y/N. Lean into it.” The doctor coached and again she grunted as she gave yet another push. The nurses were praising her as she gave it her all.

“Good girl, he’s just about to come out. His head is right there.” The nurse said with a smile.

“Really?” She sniffled and the nurse nodded.

“Yes. Do you want to feel?”

“Can I?” She asked and the nurse nodded and she felt the doctor guide her hand and she gasped as she felt the little bulge of his head at her opening. “Oh my god…” she suddenly started crying, she was so happy. It was a joy she had never felt before. It was emanating from her.

“You’re so close, darling.” The other nurse assured her and she nodded and pulled her hand away.

“Here, clean your hand on this towel.” The nurse beside her spoke softly and she did so.

“Is there blood?” Harry asked her softly and Y/N nodded at him.

“Do you want to see?” The doctor asked Harry.

“Yes, but no. If there’s blood I will faint.” He explained through a nervous chuckle and they all laughed along with him for a bit before they instructed her to push again.

She could feel as the baby was almost pushing itself down into her canal with her next pushes and the stretch of it slightly stung despite the epidural, but she could do it. She could brave this.

“His head will be out with this next one, alright?”

“Already?!” Harry asked excitedly. He just wanted to hold his son.

“Yeah, he’s ready to meet you two.” The doctor smiled, “He’s a tiny, little fellow.” She said to Y/N, “So one big push and the rest is the easy part, alright?”

“Ok.” She exhaled shakily as the pain started to increase as the pressure of the baby’s head at her entrance started to increase with the oncoming contraction. “OK…OK…I can do it.” She whispered to herself.

“You can. You are doing it, my love.” Harry hummed from beside her, “Gonna get to hold him soon, yeah?”

“Yeah.” She sniffled.

“A big push!” The doctor coached, “Perfect. Push!”

“Push, baby! Push.” Harry said softly and excitedly. “You’re doing it!” He chuckled as his own tears slid down his cheeks.

Y/N strained through gritted teeth as she gave it her all. The nurse at her side helped pull her leg back a bit for more leverage and the sharp pain followed by the release of pressure and the delighted smile on the doctor’s face told her she had done it. At this point her tears started to fall freely, she was just so relieved and tired and excited and over this and eager to see their baby. Her heart was thumping loudly.

“There’s his head! Good job!” The doctor informed happily and Y/N just sighed in relief.

“Alright, she’s turning him now…Oh, he’s a cute one.” The nurse beside her said with a smile, “Push when you feel the need to, we have to get his shoulders through.” She informed and Y/N nodded. She winced and gasped in pain through the next few.

“Fuck…fuck!” She mewled as they tried to fit the rest of him through.

“S’alright lovely, just keep pushing. He’s nearly out.”

“I can’t anymore.” She whined quietly as she felt like she had nothing left to give.

“You can, baby. You can, you’re right there.” Harry encouraged, “You’re so strong, my love. Done so well. You’ve got it. Just a few more pushes, for me.” He encouraged her softly. “Let’s meet our baby, angel.” He said through his tearful smile and she nodded.

“One more time, Y/N!” The doctor encouraged happily, “You’re doing great!…Excellent!” She smiled, “And last one…” Y/N strained, giving it all her might until finally she heard their son’s cry and after that she tuned everything else out. She suddenly felt overheated and lightheaded and so fucking weak as they pulled the rest of his little body from her.

Harry started sobbing the moment he saw them bring him up and then hurry to clean him. He turned to Y/N to see her head just thrown back as she caught her breath and he kissed all over her face, over and over. He was speaking to her but she wasn’t responding, she was just mentally clearing her head from this feat she’d just managed to get through. He was thanking her and telling her how perfect he was and how she’d done so well and how much he loved her as he struggled to catch his breath. He felt his heart explode as the nurse turned to him with Charlie in her hands and she asked him to help her with Y/N’s gown.

She glanced down to see Harry pulling down her nightgown and then seconds later Charlie was being handed over to her, the nurse wearing a bright smile as she got to hold her baby for the first time. She just let out a laugh of joy and hugged him carefully to her chest. He was a tiny little guy. She pressed him against her nipple and she glanced up at Harry with wide eyes at how he just latched on without hesitation. It was amazing that he just knew what to do.

“Fuck.” Harry sniffled as he looked down with so much pride pumping through his veins. Seeing Y/N with Charlie, that was his entire world just there. He was gentle as he reached out and and touched his little fingers. “He’s perfect.” He chuckled through his tears, “So small. He’s cute.” He mused as he just watched him feeding eagerly.

“Right. So happy he doesn’t look too much like an alien.” She whispered and he chuckled and nodded in agreement.

“Like 20% alien.” He said and she giggled and nodded in agreement before looking down at him.

“Hi Charlie, I’m your mom.” She hummed as she let her fingers gently trace along his profile. “Love you so much. You’re so perfect.” She whispered with pride.

“When he’s done nursing you can take him. Here’s a chair.” The nurse said and he nodded before turning his attention back to Y/N and Charlie.

“You’re an easy one.” The doctor said to Y/N and she glanced over to her, “Just push a little bit to get the placenta out.” She instructed, she didn’t even notice when it happened, but assumed it had when the doctor was gone from between her legs. They were in their own little world as they cleaned up the area and Y/N as well.

“Congratulations Mrs. and Mr. Styles.” The doctor said to them with a smile, “One of the nurses will be back a bit later to conduct some standard tests. Just to ensure the baby’s vitals are normal and then some quick reflect tests. Then we can worry about the paperwork for the birth certificate and to explain a bit of the process for your aftercare, alright?” She smiled and they both nodded.

“Thank you so much, doctor.” Harry said with a smile and she nodded before excusing herself. The nurses were around for a bit more before they assured her that they’d be back to check on them in a little while. They thanked them as well before focusing back on the baby. He was now just nuzzled into Y/N’s chest and he stretched just a bit which made them coo.

“Take a picture, yeah?” She asked and Harry was quick to grab his phone and snap a few pictures and a video as well.

“Look.” He hummed as he showed her, “You look perfect with him.” He whispered as he showed her the video and she smiled, “Can I send this one in the group chat?” He asked and she nodded.

“What were his weight and height? I missed it.” She said and he smiled.

“45.4 centimeters and 2.7 kilos.” He said softly.

“I don’t know what that means.” She giggled and he chuckled.

“Fucking metric system…hold on.” He said before converting it on his phone. “17 inches and just shy of 6 pounds.” He said and she nodded. He quickly sent off the video before setting his phone down on the bed and leaning back down to kiss her forehead. She turned and puckered her lips out and he smiled and kissed his lips.

“Thank you so much for reaming calm and for all of the lovely things you said to help me. Helped a lot.” She hummed and he chuckled and shook his head.

“Thank you for our baby! I mean look at him…God.” He hummed, completely awestruck.

“Want to hold him now?” Y/N asked Harry quietly. He was a bit hesitant, but nodded nonetheless. “Get you shirt off.” she said and he was quick to pull it off and he just set it down beside her.

He knew how to hold babies, but he still hesitated just a bit before taking him from her hands. He was so tiny and defenseless. He couldn’t help but suddenly recall everything that he’d been told by Chloe, how he didn’t deserve this, how he wasn’t cut out for this. But suddenly Charlie blinked his eyes open and just looked at him before letting out a tiny hiccup and Harry chuckled and grabbed him right away before pressing him to his chest and he sighed in relief as he felt his warm and soft skin against his chest. He couldn’t help but get all teary-eyed again as he wriggled a bit until Harry sat down in the chair they had given him. He rubbed over his back and patted it gently to help him burp out any air bubbles from his feeding. He was completely enamored to feel Charlie’s little puffs of air against his chest. They were so subtle, but he held perfectly still to ensure that he could feel them.

“Baby.” He heard Y/N and he glanced up at her with a smile and it widened when he saw her taking a photo or a video of him. “He’s falling asleep again. You’re a natural.” She smiled.

“Think so?” He whispered as he tried to glance down at Charlie and she nodded.

“Yeah.” She hummed, smiling at him with pride. “Gonna send this one in the chat as well.” She said and he nodded excitedly.

She was smiling so wide as Harry spoke to Charlie quietly. Telling him how he would love him and protect him and support him for his whole life. Telling him how happy he was to have him in his arms. She could see his apprehension melt away second by second as their baby got comfortable over his chest. He was going to be a phenomenal dad.

“Get some rest, baby.” Harry said to her.

“OK, but come here with him. We can share.” She said and he nodded.

Once Harry had enough space to sit with her, he settled in and she leaned her head on his shoulder as she watched Charlie breathing easily, just watching his little body rise and fall felt like the most perfect miracle. There were only good thoughts and excitement for what this new chapter of life would bring for them and their little family.

“Baby, how about we leave my tattoo as one angel and it’ll be Charlie? He’s our little angel, you know?” She whispered with a smile and he nodded.

“Yeah. I love that. Can maybe add some fillers with his birth flowers? What do you think of that?” He asked.

“Yeah, we can work on it together?”

“And you can give me a matching one?” He asked, “When you’re up for it, of course.”

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes.” She whispered excitedly and he chuckled before leaning down and kissing her head and then Charlie’s very gently.

“Oh sweetheart, we’re gonna take such good care of you.” She hummed as she reached out to his little hand and he instinctively wrapped his fingers around hers.

“Thank you, baby. Thank you so much. You’ve made me the happiest person alive. Thank you.” Harry said to her with a big smile and she kissed his bicep before leaning on him and exhaling tiredly.

They had no idea what else life would throw at them, but with so much love in their hearts, they felt more than ready to brace through life together. To do anything to look after their little family. Nothing else mattered anymore, nothing else even felt close to this. It was somehow possible to feel more than joy. More than love. It’s like a whole new part of their hearts had suddenly been unlocked. This was the best day of their lives.

“Welcome to the world, Charlie. You’re gonna love it.” Harry whispered happily.

... THE END ...

Found this today. Not sure if the tagged blog is the creator, but the account is linked in the image:)

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