#that even a complete stranger can tell how pathetic his life is. and that made him very sad. so hes glad he only saw finnley like 4 times

[malkaviian]

thinking between drama between oc trios because i have been listening to a certain vocaloid saga (which i have no idea how it is called ngl)

[hyukakisses]

-emo beomgyu as your jealous bestfriend to boyfriend!

parings: beomgyu x fem reader

plot: heavily inspired by eli goldsworthy’s manic episode in degrassi, (and very old post i had up on my old account)

warnings: cursing, mentally ill/lovesick oreo gyu, sweet reader who’s a pushover, smut, jealous gyu, bestfriend to lover troupe, beomgyu is a bit toxic, beomgyu corrupts reader, reader is also mentally ill with a low self esteem if you squint, sub reader & dom gyu

“so how do i look?” you’d spin in your outfit you had planned out for the night, making beomgyu’s head shot up from the manga he was reading titled nana

beomgyu’s breath hitches at the back of his throat. “you look pretty really pretty” his big brown eyes trail up and down your frame. “why are you wearing black though? i mean it looks good don’t get me wrong but it’s just so not you”

you’d roll your eyes playfully at his comment, internally squealing at how beomgyu knew you so well. “i know this is going to sound so dumb but the guy i’m going on a date with only really likes goth girls”

beomgyu’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach at your admission, you’re going out on a date? with a guy? a guy who wasn’t him?

“a date with a guy who doesn’t even like who you are? seriously y/n?” beomgyu did knew you had low self esteem but he didn’t know it was this low—

you’d frown at the blunt response, “i know i know i sound so pathetic but if i don’t mirror the people i like then how can i ever get them to like me?”

the scowl on beomgyu’s face falls, his eyes softening with pity at your words. how could you not see that he was in love with you? the emo boy would literally die for you — no scratch that beomgyu would kill bare hand slaughter anyone who even thought about you in a negative light yet you’re seriously convinced you couldn’t pull anyone with your personality alone?

beomgyu was about to speak up until your phone rings, a message from the mystery man that was outside your house waiting to escort you to a date and this made the manic emo boy’s blood boil

how dare he takes you away from him? how was that fair?

beomgyu groans loudly after waving you goodbye, waiting patiently on your soft fluffy bed resisting the urge to spam your phone with hundreds of messages and phone calls. hating how you chose some stranger over him

was he not good enough? did the black attire scare you off?

the feeling of impulsiveness rushes through beomgyu’s already wrecked headspace, grabbing his cellphone in a hurry. not being able to stop himself from double— no triple texting you in a row.

miss you >:( 8:10 pm

are you having that much fun without me? it’s been two minutes and you haven’t respond telling me how much you miss me too 8:12 pm

beomgyu let’s out a sigh in frustration, contemplating on the back and forth idea of taking out his anger on your sanrio plushies but he breathes in excitement at the sound of his phone going off.

noooo im not having that much fun without you! i miss you too! 8:13 pm

>:( i hate when you leave me all alone you know 8:13 pm

im sorry ): i’ll make it up to you kay? stay up for me! mwah :3 8:14 pm

MWAH ^_^ <3!! 8:14 pm

WOAH WE KISSED! <3 >:D 8:14 pm

a little bit over a month passes since your night out, and you were currently sobbing on beomgyu’s shoulder. “i-i don’t know what happened i thought everything was going so well but he completely ghosted me when i bought up not wanting anything casual!”

“what’s wrong with me beomgyu? why doesn’t anyone seem to like me after the honeymoon phase? am i that terrible?” you went on a ramble squeezing onto your bestfriend for dear life.

beomgyu couldn’t ignore the slight song of guilt in his chest as he held you in his arms, knowing how much it would kill you if you found out the reason why you can’t keep a relationship to save your life was because of him. beomgyu’s overbearing clinginess this being a huge turn off to any guy you were talking to you.

and since you were super trusting of your friend you never really saw how beomgyu was responsible for your bad luck in dating. this cycle resulting in your low self esteem eventually, often leaving yourself to do a lot of self blaming. wondering, going back and forth with your yourself on why things with literally anyone who showed you any romantic interest always went to shit

am i not pretty enough? am i that boring?

“hey hey so what if the guy doesn’t want to take things to the next level with you? the guys a total loser anyway did you see how beat his car was? you’re telling me you want to settle for someone who’s broke?” beomgyu chuckles trying to use humor to lighten up your pitiful mood

you’d sniffle, “b-but did you see the way he looked at me? it felt nice to be liked and not lusted for” and this made beomgyu chuckle to himself, lazily stroking your hair in an attempt to console you.

if only you knew how much beomgyu liked you— no loved you

“and i’m sure there’s ton of guys out there who will like you instead of lusting over you baby” beomgyu grins looking down at your face was buried in his scrawny chest

“r-really?” your head shoots up from the emo boy’s warm embrace, your eyes glimmering hopeful “you really think so gyu? you think anyone could love me?” you always craved beomgyu’s validation and reassurance

another thing you longed for was beomgyu liking you back, but he’s beomgyu and you’re well you’re you—

beomgyu laughs at your cute question, shaking his head causing his shaggy hair to shake. “are you kidding? of course i think anyone could love you and if they don’t then they’re a total dumbass”

what beomgyu really wanted to say was how he loved you, but the idea of someone as sweet as you dating a total mess of a man like him made the oreo haired boy feel sorry for you

you’d let out a wince, at the feeling of your bestfriend above you stretching out your pink gummy insides. clinging onto the males shoulder blades for dear life. “beomgyu c-can you be more gentle?”

beomgyu softens his blissed out gaze on you, basking in at how tiny you look compared to him and how pretty you looked laid on your back. you reminded the man of a princess.

beomgyu whimpers a nod at your words, his pace slowing down to a gentle rhythm. leaning down to close the gap between you both pulling your soft lips into a sweet kiss savoring the way you tasted like strawberry lip balm.

“does that feel better princess? im not hurting you too much now right?” beomgyu bangs flopped down his eyes making you giggle at the action

“n-no it’s not hurting anymore i feel really good..” you moan sweetly, loving at how beomgyu was checking up on you. “thank you for making sure my first time was with someone who loves me even if it was just in a friend way” you’d smile up at the emo boy bringing him down to your face for a hug

beomgyu mentally face palms, stuffing his face in the crook of your neck. the oreo haired boy drowning into your strawberry pound cake scent, wanting to scream at you in frustration. what kind of virgin takes another virgin’s virginity just because they loved them as a friend? are you really that fucking dumb?

a few weeks by and you had another date with another mystery man, and beomgyu was not happy.

after all the comforting words he told you how could you not see that he was in love with you? how could you possibly throw yourself at any guy who paid you attention?

beomgyu was tired of being nice and patient with you, and without thinking he immediately gets in his car to blow off some steam. imagining the hands belonging to your date dragging its way to your figure, cringing at the idea of you underneath another man cumming around his cock and such

beomgyu was so lost in the idea of you abandoning him for this new guy he didn’t realize he was driving straight into a tree, his eyes widening before the world around him went dark

“you came” beomgyu weakly smiles waking up as he senses you grabbing onto his hand

you’d sniffle back a few tears, seeing your bestfriend in such horrible condition really made you feel guilty. maybe if you were at home with beomgyu he wouldn’t have felt so bored at the house and he wouldn’t have gotten into his car resulting in his accident

“of course i came, i came as soon as i heard” fat tears fall down your face in relief when you examine beomgyu’s cuts weren’t that severe. but the mere thought of beomgyu leaving you was too much

“im so sorry i should have never went out tonight— i should have just stayed indoors with you playing that stupid video game you like what what was it?” you cried trying to remember

“dead by daylight” beomgyu laughs at your crying state

“yes that! i’ve been so self absorbed i didn’t stop and realize that you need to come first im really sorry beomgyu” you’d rabble going into a fit of sobs, blaming yourself over and over again for this happening

“it’s okay seriously i just have a few cuts that’s all” beomgyu assures you, showing off the bandages around his body

“i know but i still feel so guilty..”

“don’t be”

you’d wipe your tears away with a dry laugh, “i don’t even know why i continue to go onto these dates when it’s you i want to be with” you’d admit blushing profoundly

“you what?”

“im sorry terrible timing i know but i almost lost you tonight so i might as well come clean” you’d laugh more genuine this time

“i like you too”

“you what?”

“you heard me, just shut up and help me home will you?”

a/n: this made me miss my ex.. enjoy enjoy

[sunnys-out]

Your damn cherry chapstick | Alex Morgan

a/n: from this prompt list. Let's pretend that voicemails can actually be this long lol.

Prompt Request: 10. I still remember how you taste...

Warnings: Implied Smut, MDNI, cursing, alcohol

Word Count: 573

Part 2 here

You have one new message

“God, I shouldn't even be doing this, fuck, how long since we talked talked?... I shouldn’t have had that stupid fucking wine... Fuck, like it matters, you probably are going to delete this once you see it’s from me…I’m not here to say congrats on marrying Servando…nah you know that’s not very me.”

Pause

“I regret introducing you to Servando, I really do…I would’ve been the one dancing with you at that Gala. I was just sitting there drinking away at that cheap ass, champagne they gave us and overlooking the campus while you were having the time of your life.”

Pause

“Funny, he looked so happy having you in his arms that day when not even hours before I was in between your legs, Morgan. I thought I had you back completely but you broke up whatever we had and went running to him once we got to the end of the year Gala for Cal Soccer”

Pause

“Do you remember that last time? You showed up at my apartment after skipping your Philosophy lecture wanting to “see me again” after ignoring me for weeks because you were with Servando. Hell, talking lasted 6 minutes before you pushed me against the wall begging me to kiss you…”

“I still remember how you taste, Alex…even the taste of your damn, cherry, chapstick. The sounds you made for me then are ingrained in my head...God, I’ll never forget. The way that it was all because of me and I was the only one who could make you feel that way… you said it yourself. Fuck, I wouldn’t have let you go that morning if I had known it was the last time; maybe things would have been different.”

Pause

“Nah, you knew what you were doing. It was just a fucking goodbye, wasn’t it? Got my hopes up and just broke it the moment you saw Servando?!? Fuck, Alex, you know what, I’m glad I had that career-ending injury in  Portland, I saved myself all that time pining over you, wishing to have your back…”

Pause

“That sounded pathetic of me…’I still remember how you taste, Alex’ like that isn't the sound of pining over someone. Hell, you wouldn’t have said the same for me maybe because I didn’t let you…I was just happy tasting you and having you all to myself.”

Pause

“You know Servando actually texted me asking me if I wanted to be invited to the wedding. Said that I slipped through the cracks in planning…Funny, wonder if that was intentional on your part, babe. Afraid that you’ll leave Servando immediately if you see me. I mean you did that but to me back all those years ago…why wouldn’t you do it again?”...Anyways, Sev, pushed the idea that I give a speech of how I introduced you two…I declined of course…said I was busy.  

Pause 

“Is it cocky for me to assume I was the best you ever have? Probably… Anyways good luck on this marriage thing. Tell Servando that his ass should be happy that I introduced him to “the love of his life”. I hope you remember me the way that I remember you, I love you Alex Morgan, I’ve always had…it’d be ironic if I said don’t be a stranger because you do that all on your own…”

“Don’t you dare text me…I swear to God, Alex Morgan”

End of Message

[salty-croissants]

A male reader gets into a bar fight after someone insults bullfrog, the aftermath has the frog taking care of his bruises while worrying about his careless attitude towards his own life.

((Sorry, my first time ever requesting so a bit nervous. 😅))

Thank you for the request !

I gotta say , I really love this concept for a Bullfrog story : it’s just so neat and creative , so honestly thank you for sending this :D 

Hope it turned out okay ! 

Details : use of male reader ; 

established relationships ; 

presence of violence , mild swearing and blood 

That night was supposed to be … well , like any other night , with you accompanying your boyfriend to one of his missions and waiting for him in a nearby bar .

Before he left , Bullfrog didn’t miss the opportunity to give you a goodbye kiss ( you had to get on your knees to allow him to do that , which never failed to make him adorably flustered ) , and as he gave you one last tender caress on your cheek he also left you with a reminder : 

< Please stay safe , mon choux !

 I should be back soon , if you need me don’t be afraid to call me , and make sure to - > 

< Hey , don’t worry , I’m gonna be careful … besides , you know I can handle myself just fine if something doesn’t go right . > 

< Je sais , je sais … still , I’ll be here as fast as I can : I did promise you we’d spend some time together when we get home , and let’s just say I’m really looking forward to it , my love ~ > 

You couldn’t help but smile while watching him rush off and quickly disappear in the darkness .

He was such a sweetheart , no one would’ve been able to guess how lethal he was on the job and how quickly he could end the lives of the targets unfortunate enough to meet him … 

As you sat on one of the bar’s chairs , lost in thought with a drink in your hand , time went by surprisingly quickly , and when you begun to glance at the door to see if Bullfrog had arrived you felt a presence next to you …

< Well hello there , good to see such a pretty face here at this hour … >

You turned around to find a … quite sketchy looking man staring at you :

since the place was pretty crowded you hadn’t paid much attention to him , but now it seemed like he had made the decision to engage in conversation … something that was a bit unsettling , given that he was a complete stranger trying to randomly flirt with you . 

< Uh … > 

You took a sip of what was left of your drink , making sure to avoid hehe contact to reinforce the fact that you weren’t interested . 

… but he didn’t seem to take the hint , and was it just your impression or did he move closer … ? 

Well , if he even dared to try anything you were more than ready to make good use of your fighting skills . 

After some more uncomfortable silence , the man spoke again , this time a clear disgust in his tone …

< Y’know , I’ve seen you talking to that … thing before you came in .

Honestly I can’t help but wonder how you can feel something positive for a hybrid :

I mean - they’re all such pathetic , worthless creatures , am I right ? > 

The more he talked , the more you felt your blood boil …

< I’ll have you know that that “thing” you’re referring to is my boyfriend . > 

, you coldly replied , giving him a warning glare .

< … 

Pfft - wait you’re serious ? Holy shit ! > 

He laughed loudly in response , causing some of the people around to give you both their attention .

The last thing you would’ve wanted was an audience … but you knew that you couldn’t let that massive douchebag get away with saying those things . There was no way you would let it slide .

< You - you mean to tell me that you’d rather be with a fucking frog than an actual person ? 

C’mon , don’t be ridiculous … that little monster doesn’t deserve a guy as cute as you , you can do so much better th - > 

It all happened in a few seconds … 

You suddenly stood up , and before you could even stop to think about what you were doing punched the man on the face hard enough to knock him down on the floor , the terrified and excited screams of the small crowd ringing in your head .

< Don’t you DARE say that shit about him ever fucking again , YOU HEAR ME !? > 

He slowly stood up , wiping a few drips of blood that had fallen from his nose after the impact , and the way he furiously looked at you made it clear that he was mad … very mad . 

< Gh … you … I’M GONNA KILL YOU !!! > 

Everyone who was left quickly fled from the bar , leaving you and him furiously fighting without giving the other a chance to breathe .

While you were definitely better trained , the man was unfortunately a lot bigger than you , and every successful hit he landed on you was starting to hurt … but you couldn’t give up , not after what you heard him say . 

Eventually , a well-directed punch in the stomach caused you to fall on your knees , the pain making your vision become blurry .

< Heh - that’s what you get you bitch !! > 

His eyes were clouded with a terrifying euphoria as he grabbed you by the hair …

< Oh I’m gonna enjoy this … > 

You shut your eyes , trying to prepare yourself to receive your worst beating in years … but that’s when you felt his grip loosening , letting you fall down on the floor . 

< y/n ! > 

That voice … could it really be … ? 

< B … Bullfrog … ? > 

You slowly opened your eyes again to find him on top of the man’s body , whose throat had been cut open by the assassin’s blades .

< I’m … *cough* …

I’m sorry … I know , this is a mess , but - agh — > 

< Careful - don’t stand up too fast … 

Here , let’s just … let’s just go . > 

Without another word , your boyfriend helped you up , and the two of you walked away as quickly as you could , the distant sound of sirens getting more and more far with each step .

Some time later …

< Now … can you tell me what happened back there , s'il te plaît ? > 

There it was … the question you knew would come sooner or later . 

You looked down , feeling Bullfrog’s eyes on you while he patched you up .

< I … that guy , he said such awful stuff about you while being a creep and trying to hit on me …

Called you a monster …

I just - I couldn’t let him get away with it so I … punched him . > 

You felt his hand gently lifting up your chin as he stared at you .

< y/n … I appreciate you wanting to defend me , but you know I don’t want you to get hurt because of me . We’ve talked about this . > 

< So what , I was supposed to just stand by and let that asshole call you names ?

How is that fair ? > 

< Non , it’s not fair , but almost getting yourself killed to prevent that won’t help .

Did you even stop to think about what could’ve happened to you ? 

What if I didn’t make it in time to stop him ? What if you died tonight ?

My chéri , my partner , the one I love most in the entire world … gone . > 

He wiped away some of the blood on your face , and you could feel his hand shake slightly as he did … a sign of how troubled he was while imagining that scenario .

< … Je … je ne peux pas … I just can’t afford to lose you , y/n . You’re too important to me . > 

The dark alleyway in which you were hiding remained completely silent after that , until you sighed while placing a kiss on his palm .

< Bullfrog … that’s not gonna happen , I promise . 

You’re right , I … really didn’t think this through . I just … every time I hear someone talking about you like that I lose it … > 

Bullfrog’s expression softened , and as he placed his forehead against yours all the bad experiences of that night seemed to vanish …

< I know … you’re always looking out for me mon amour , and I love you so much for that ~ 

… just , maybe next time don’t punch anyone , alright ? > 

< Heh … I’ll try not to . > 

He chuckled in response , while slowly getting back on his feet .

< Now then … as soon as you feel ready we can try to head back home : I think it’s safe to say it’s been quite a long night for both of us . > 

< Yeah , that sounds like a plan . 

… plus I do need to thank you properly for saving my life don’t I ? ~ > 

< Oh , you know you don’t have to thank me , my dear … but it would be crazy to pass up that offer ~ > 

[liverpool-enjoyer]

hey yall forewarning this is easily the most embarrassing post ive ever made on here. like im not talking normal levels of tumblr cringe/oversharing, i mean youre probly gonna judge me and think somethings genuinely wrong with me. but i really need to get it off my chest so. yolo.

also tldr at the end in case you wanna spare yourself lmao.

mkay so recently i havent been online, because ive been really sad. and the reason im sad is that gavi got a girlfriend. which i realize is probly the stupidest and most juvenile thing to be sad over but hear me out (or dont lmao its a free country do whatever you want).

its not like i ever thought i had a chance with him or anything, im not stupid. but ive known for a very long time that, due to my asexuality (and other things but mostly that), i am never going to have love in my life. so for me, daydreaming and fantasizing about being gavis girlfriend was like,,, how i coped, i guess. it was a form of escapism for me. and now i cant do that anymore bc hes someones boyfriend and fantasizing abt another girls boyfriend just feels wrong. and pathetic.

it doesnt help that all my social medias have algorithmed so that hes all over all my feeds. and to be honest, looking at him just makes me think of his beautiful girlfriend who has everything i could ever want and i feel this horrible awful nauseating feeling in my stomach and i feel envious and sad and a slew of other things. it sucks that someone who once unknowingly made me so happy now does the exact opposite but hey what can you do.

i know it sounds stupid, but i dont think i'll ever feel for someone the way i feel about him. hes the most beautiful person ive ever laid eyes on and oh God i was right this does sound stupid ok lets continue

oh and let me be clear (you hafta read that in obamas voice) im aware that feeling this way toward a complete stranger (or anyone for that matter, but like especially a complete stranger) is EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY. unfortunately, knowing that my feelings and thoughts are unhealthy doesnt stop me from having them.

so yeah. now that ive lost my form of escapism, all i can think about at any given moment is how lonely im going to be. its hard to enjoy much of anything these days when all im thinking about is how im never going to receive romantic love, and now i cant even daydream about dating gavi to cope with it. because all i can think about when i try to is how hard his girlfriend would laugh if she found out some pathetic worm halfway across the world was fantasizing about her man.

so yeah thats it. i know that every time i angst abt my asexuality (which is a LOT like holy shit why do ppl still follow me), my friends tell me that its ok because im going to find someone someday. and i appreciate it, i really do. it means the world. but my friends saying that i'll find love doesnt make it true. plenty of people have died alone and unloved before, and i am going to be one of them.

tldr: a guy ive never met got a girlfriend n im having a depressive episode abt it LMAOOOO

[dawninlatin]

Crying in the IKEA parking lot

a feysand modern au one shot written for @officialfeysandweek2023

Feyre is having an emotional breakdown in the IKEA parking lot, but luckily a handsome stranger comes to her rescue

Words: 2,2k | Masterlist | AO3 Link

Feyre had experienced many low points in her twenty-two years, but crying in the parking lot of IKEA had to be one of the lowest.

To be fair, she was having a pretty shit day, a shit year, even, but that didn’t make her feel any better as she stared at the scratch on the shiny, expensive-looking car parked next to hers.

A scratch that was one hundred percent her fault.

She let out a pathetic sob as her mind replayed the moment when she’d been too busy cursing at the furniture she couldn’t fit in her trunk to notice that her cart was rolling away from her, straight into the other car.

There was no way she could afford to pay for the repair, especially not now, when she’d just spent the little money she had on a dining table and a single chair for her mostly empty apartment.

Feyre gave the package still sitting on the ground a kick in frustration. «Fucking useless piece of shit!»

«Are you okay? Do you perhaps need any help with that…?»

The voice startled her, and Feyre whirled around, suddenly facing the most beautiful man she had ever seen. He looked at her with a mix of concern and curiosity, his eyes so blue they almost seemed violet.

«I’m fine,» Feyre answered a little too quickly, plastering on a fake smile and pretending her face wasn’t all puffy and red. She’d gotten so used to telling this lie lately, it came on autopilot.

Unfortunately, the stranger wasn’t a complete idiot, and didn’t buy her lie. The few tears still running down her cheeks probably didn’t help either. «So crying in the middle of a parking lot is just something you do for fun?» The question was accompanied by a perfectly raised eyebrow. 

Smile dropping, Feyre replied, «No, it’s just-»

And that’s all it took for the floodgates to open once more. 

«I’ve had a really shitty time lately, and I just needed to get a table because I don’t wanna eat every meal sitting on the floor for the rest of my life, but then I came out here and I can’t get the fucking box in my car and then I accidentally scratched the car next to mine and I know I should be the better person here and leave a note but there is no way I can afford to pay for it to be repaired!» She was full-on sobbing again, choking out the words. 

When she’d managed to calm down a little, the crying reduced to sniffling, she looked up, surprised to find that the man still stood there. Feyre had expected her little mental breakdown to scare away the stranger, he’d only asked if she needed help, after all, but there he was, offering her a soft smile and a tissue. «So a really shitty day then?»

«Yeah,» Feyre replied weakly, wiping her tears.

«I wouldn’t worry too much about the car, though.»

«Why?» 

He smirked, and it made Feyre want to kiss his handsome face and punch it at the same time. She really should see a therapist or something. «Because if they can afford a car like that, the asshole can probably afford a repair as well.»

This time, when Feyre smiled, it was real. It felt good, after all this time.

«So, did you need any help?» the guy asked, gesturing towards the package still on the ground.

Feyre had barely nodded before he strode over, and in a single, seemingly effortless move lifted it into her car. It annoyed her to no end, but she was also grateful, because it meant she could get out of here and forget this completely mortifying experience ever happened.

«Thanks, uhm…» She didn’t even know his name, she realized.

«Rhysand, though my friends call me Rhys,» he offered, grinning.

His name was Rhys, and he had dimples. How was it possible to be this attractive?

«I’m Feyre,» she replied, completely cool, calm and collected…probably.

«Well, it was nice meeting you, Feyre, darling. I have to go and brave the hell that is IKEA to get something for my stupid cousin, but I hope the rest of your day is better!»

Feyre actually chuckled this time, giving him a wave and a «Good luck!» as he walked away. She watched him in a totally non-creepy way until he’d fully disappeared into the large store, relishing the way she felt kinda good right now. One encounter with a kind human didn’t fix all her problems, but it gave her back some of the faith she’d lost in humanity long ago.

Still smiling, Feyre got into the driver’s seat, but she didn’t start the car. Instead, her attention was pulled to the passenger seat, and the abandoned sketchbook that’d been lying there for months now.

She sucked in a sharp breath at the sudden urge to draw again. The familiar itching in her hands could have brought her to tears if she’d had any left. Maybe she actually could feel like herself again, someday in the future…

Glancing at the car next to hers, Feyre contemplated her choices. There was no way she could afford the repair bill, but no matter how she thought about it, the only right thing to do was choose kindness. What if the rich asshole was having an equally shit day?

That didn’t mean Feyre couldn’t make them feel as sorry for her as possible, though. Maybe if they knew what a mess she was, it would get her out of paying.

So she rummaged around in her car until she found a pencil, then she picked up her sketchbook and started drawing for the first time in months.

-

Feyre groaned for what had to be the hundredth time as she struggled to assemble the table. Wasn’t this supposed to be easy?!

She knew she should just go to bed and try again in the morning, but she wanted to do this, wanted to show the universe she could manage on her own.

Who knew leaving your abusive ex when you had no job, no education, no friends and no contact with your family would be so difficult?

Just when Feyre was about to give up, her phone suddenly chimed, alerting her of a new text.

Anxiously, she picked up the phone, her stomach flipping as she read the text from an unknown number.

Is this Feyre Archeron?

It had to be the owner of the car, Feyre thought. After all, she’d ended up leaving a rather creative note describing what had happened, signed with her full name and number.

The note had consisted of eight comic panels, first showing an overly animated Feyre looking miserable in her empty apartment, then her looking miserable in IKEA, her emptying her pockets at the register, then swearing as she tries to get the package into her car. Next featured a few panels very dramatically portraying how the cart had rolled into the car completely on it’s own, ending with Feyre drowning all of IKEA in her tears.

To be honest, she was kind of proud of it.

Chewing her lip, Feyre typed back a simple «Yes».

Mere seconds later, it started ringing, that same number appearing on the screen. She nearly dropped it in panic, and honestly wanted to just chuck it out the window. She did not want to buy a new phone though, especially not if she had to spend thousands on repairing an ugly-ass car that wasn’t even hers.

Hands shaking, she pressed reply, bringing the phone to her ear. «Hello?»

«That comic is the best thing I’ve ever seen. I’m seriously gonna frame it and hang it on my wall.»

Feyre’s heart promptly stopped as she heard the deep, silky voice. She would recognize it anywhere, if only from the things it did to her body.

«Rhys?!» she choked out.

«I told you to not worry about the car.» She could hear the smirk in his voice, and for some reason it filled her with rage.

«That was your car?! Why the hell didn’t you say so? I made a complete fool of myself in front of you-»

«No you didn’t,» Rhys interrupted her. «And I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to stress you out even more. I’m sorry if that was wrong of me.»

Well, that was awfully…charming of him. Feyre didn’t know what to do with all these feelings swirling inside her. Especially not after living on autopilot for so long.

«Just tell me how much I owe you,» Feyre sighed. 

«How about you let me help you build that furniture, and we’ll call it even?»

«What? That’s ridiculous!» There had to be something seriously wrong with this guy, if he thought getting to help her with her furniture would make them even.

«Text me your address, and I’ll be there in thirty. With pizza.» 

And then he just hung up.

-

Exactly thirty minutes later, Feyre opened her front door to find Rhys on the other side, pizza in hand and a panty-dropping smile on his face. «Hello, Feyre, darling.»

«Ugh, just get in.» She was too hungry to bother with pleasantries. 

He followed her into the kitchen area, setting the pizza on the counter. Feyre busied herself with getting a glass of water, trying to not let her embarrassment show as he took in the space. She really hadn’t been kidding when she’d said it was all empty.

Well, apart from the still-not-assembled table.

When she looked up, though, he was looking at her, not the empty space. 

«Just so we’re clear, I have no ulterior motives in doing this,» Rhys spoke, all serious. His gaze so intense she couldn’t look away.

«I’m not gonna deny that I find you very attractive, and I would love to take you on a date some day, but right now, what I think we both need the most, is a friend.» 

Her chest ached at the pain she glimpsed in his violet eyes, a fellow lost soul. Maybe he was just as lonely, just as broken, despite the easy smiles? Feyre smiled faintly, thinking that she wouldn’t mind a friend right now.

Then Rhys opened his mouth again, and the moment was ruined. «And we both know you find me incredibly handsome because duh,» he gestured to his face, and Feyre scowled, flipping him off.

«Are you even qualified to build furniture?» Feyre asked, all serious. If he turned out to be excellent at this she would lose it.

«Are you kidding me? My great-great-grandfather was Swedish. I’ll show you my family tree to prove it.»

«You’re such a prick!» Feyre exclaimed, smacking his arm, but she was laughing as she did it.

This was gonna end in disaster.

-

«You’re even worse at this than I am!»

«I swear, there has to be something wrong with this table!»

The puzzled expression on Rhys’ face as he sat with the final leg of the table in his hand and seemingly no where to put it made Feyre laugh so hard her stomach hurt a little.

They hadn’t gotten much further from where Feyre had been before Rhys showed up to help her.

«I don’t understand…There are four legs, and four corners, so why won’t it fit?!» 

«Let me have a look,» Feyre chuckled, leaning into Rhys’ space to study the instructions once more.

As she reached forward to turn back a page, her hand brushed against his, and she let out a quiet gasp at the contact. He was so close she could feel the warmth emanating from him. 

Neither of them moved for a moment, the tension between them nearly tangible. 

Then Feyre turned her head, slowly, finding his eyes already locked on her, his gaze intense. It would be so easy to just lean in and kiss him, taste him.

Surprisingly, a part of her wanted to. Feyre knew she could be oblivious, but one had to be a complete idiot to not feel the chemistry between them, the spark that had been there from the very first moment.

Her life was too much of a mess at the moment, though. She needed to get her head above water first, needed more time to heal the wounds from her previous disaster of a relationship.

So Feyre pulled away, swiftly ending the moment. She could sense a shift in Rhys as well, but where she’d expected disappointment, maybe even annoyance, she only found a quiet, patient calm, the soft smile on his face telling her he understood, and he was willing to wait, but if she one day was ready, he would be there.

«I may have lied when I said I was a pro at this…»

«I knew it!»

Feyre gave Rhys a smile of her own, so grateful that he didn’t make things awkward after her subtle rejection. She hoped he could see the words she couldn’t voice quite yet.

I want to, I really do, but I’m not ready.

I haven’t had this much fun in ages.

You’ve made me feel alive again.

Having him as her friend would have to be enough.

For now.

A/N: don't ask about the header i was feeling creative today...

ANYWAY I have returned from the dead (I just started college) to give you this:):) I also actually had a beta reader this time, so kudos to my roommate! I'm sorry for making you read this and watch glee with me at the same time<3<3<3 Feel free to reblog, leave a comment or drop by my ask box, I love attention:)

Taglist: @ireallyshouldsleeprn @rowaelinismyotp

I keep a separate taglist for each ship, so let me know if you want to be added to any of them!

[neiptune]

I’m in some mood for some melancholic longing, can I request “you never called it what it was” + rengoku + childhood best friends that liked each other but didnt end up together, maybe because of life, jobs, dreams etc 🥺💔

kyojuro rengoku x you never called it what it was

This is your nightmare, honestly.

Palms are already sweating as you eye the drink you ordered a few minutes ago being placed in front of you, it’s staring right back with a neon sign on top of it. The sign literally reads girl, you thought.

“Uhm, excuse me” you clear your throat as the barista who took your oder turns around with a frown. He’s probably having a bad day too but you’re on the verge of tears and a poorly made tea order is going to be the last straw.

“I ordered a chai tea latte with vanilla sweet cream cold foam?”

“That’s what it is”

“Ah… I mean, that’s a lot of cold foam” half of it is cold foam “could you please remake it? I’m so sorry to be a bother” you attempt a smile but his frown deepens.

“It’s the standard way to do it” he grumbles and quite literally snatches the drink from your uncertain hand, then proceeds to scoop out half of the cold foam and replace it with dairy milk. What you’re left with is a tall latte in a venti cup, with a random splash of milk you can’t even drink.

Fuck.

“Sorry, I’m allergic to dairy, could you please just—”

“I don’t have the time” he snaps and you wince “d’you think you’re the only customer here today? Take a look at that line, would you?”

Before he’s even finished with his little outburst, people are looking at you and tears are already pricking your eyes, stinging so painfully you just know blinking a few times to send them back won’t do the trick.

“What seems to be the problem, Kazuki?” a gentle but slightly high-pitched voice from behind you has you jumping. Not because it’s unexpected but because it’s familiar. You’d recognize that inflection anywhere.

Kazuki’s face lights up instantly, a pinkish tone crawling up to his cheeks. Is he embarrassed?

“Ah, Mr. Rengoku, good morning! This lady was just trying to—”

“Now, I don’t think that’s a polite way to speak to a customer” he interrupts him and you sense the tension stirring behind what’s most certainly a friendly smile. God, he hasn’t changed one bit.

When you sheepishly turn around his eyes widen and, for a second, your lungs cease to expand in your chest cavity. Of course he hadn’t recognized you. Of course he’s still kind enough to step in to defend a complete stranger.

An incredulous smile splits his handsome face, eyes glimmering with genuine excitement as he whispers your name.

“Hello, Kyojuro” you mirror his smile and add a pathetic little wave to it. He frowns and you hate to know why.

How can he still hate it, when you call him by his full name? You’re adults now. Adults who haven’t seen each other in years.

“I can’t believe this, I have looked everywhere for you!” despite the slight disappointment, he explodes in a boisterous laugh and, once more, everyone’s looking in your direction. Except this time you don’t mind, you don’t mind at all.

“Tell you what! Kazuki will remake your order, I’ll take the usual” he glances at the barista “and then I can walk you wherever you have to go. Or we could enjoy our drinks here? Whatever you want, just don’t slip away again” the warmth he’s unleashing on you has your head spinning, heart swelling with feelings you thought were long forgotten.

He’s right, you did slip away. Intentionally moved to another city, changed your number, left little to no trace behind, no address information. You thought leaving him, being cruel enough to cut him off without an explanation, would make it easier.

His attempts still reached you somehow. Your mom mentioning his calls, your friends running into him on the way home from work.



He asked about you.

He wonders if we have your new number.

He looked sad.

Why don’t you call him?



But you never did, you never could.

It was the right thing to do, if the staccato of your heartbeat is an indicator as you walk side by side in your favorite park, the one you used to come to when you were twelve and he insisted you rated all his cartwheels. The one with the old, chipped bench you waited on when you were fifteen and drunk, on your way back from a party filled with people you didn’t like. He showed up in the middle of the night and gave you a piggyback ride, silly giggles muffled by the fabric of his sweatshirt.

Perhaps you were just too different. He always loved the big, chaotic town you ached to leave. Life of the party, popular, impeccable at school, great at sports.

He never had too much time to actually care about all those moments, the innocent touches, the casual hold of a hand whenever you’d take a stroll, the three times he had kissed you. They still burn in the back of your mind.

Eleven years old, as a dare. Twelve years old, to distract you from the pain of a scraped knee. Sixteen years old, the one time you saw him indulge in a beer.

“Why did you disappear?” the question is void of bitterness, it’s gentle, even. Kyojuro is not stupid, he knows it was deliberate, he’s aware you didn’t cut ties with anyone else.

“Always hated Tokyo” you shrug, casually stirring the ice in your drink.

“But you left me, too” he insists “you were special to me. I guess I hoped…” the implications of what he’s not saying are too dangerous for you to bear.

“Don’t be ridiculous” you mumble “of course you were”

He stops in his tracks.

“So why…”

“Did you ever ask me to stay, Kyo?” your gaze meets his “you never said anything. You didn’t… you never called it what it was”

Taken aback, he blinks. One time, two times.

So you never thought you deserved better than me?

[beeindaclouds]

Attending Hogwarts w/ the DSMP: Year 8 pt 2

Includes: Technoblade, Nihachu, Eret, Punz, FoolishGamers, Awesamdude

Click here before requesting, please ^^

Reader: GN - They/Them

Hogwarts Series || Previous Part

❝ Technoblade ❞

You and Techno had basically been put at babysitting duty

For Tommy and his friends

Yes, they were strong enough to fight on their own. But, knowing Tommy, he would have run off to "prove he's manly" or something along those lines

And, not even 20 minutes into the battle, Tommy had found himself face to face with a Death Eater

The fight wasn't really going in his favour, the dark wizard being older and more experienced, but luckily Techno stepped in in time

The wizard had kept Techno distracted enough to not notice another one join in, but you quickly had his back and stupefied both of them

"You...saved us" Techno stated, almost surprised

"Why is is surprising??" You whined "Well, until a few months ago you kept on flying your broom into every quidditch stand" he answered, you just rolled your eyes

Your little moment was, unfortunately, interupted by a disgusted Tommy telling you to "get a room"

Luckily you three all made it out alive and you got to witness the brothers unite in the end

✨

❝ Nihachu ❞

Niki and you stood proudly on one of the castle towers, looking over the slowly disintegrating barrier around the school

You both knew that in a few moments a war was about to begin, so you held on tightly to eachothers hand, as a promise to stay alive

Both of you fought with all your might, never once letting the fear of whats to come get the best of you

In a moment of celebration you, unfortunately, got taken advantage of and hit with the killing curse

You fell into Niki's arms, slowly feeling yourself dissapearing

"Y/N..." was all Niki could muster as your eyes started getting heavier and your breath slower

"You are the most amazing girl I've ever met...do you know that Niki?" you mumbled, your hand keeping a tight hold onto Niki's

"I just wish we had more time-" "Don't say that!" Niki interupted you, sobbing as she hugged you into her arms

"I love you Niki"

"I love you too, my darling"

✨

❝ Eret ❞

Halfway through the battle, you came face the face with the person who took care of you and who you fell in love with

Eret

Their look was cold and unfamiliar, unlike all the other times where it was warm and loving

"Why are you doing this? What about what we had-" his laugh stopped your sentence

"What we had, meant absolutely nothing to me. I only took you in to have more info regarding Potter. And you..." He chuckled darkly "You actually fell for me? The oh so beautiful oh so innocent stranger from another school! Did you expect a fairy tale ending? How pathetic"

Their wand pointed right at you, sending shivers down your back, but you couldn't believe this was them. It couldn't be...

"Any last words?" He asked

"I love you Eret"

Their gaze softened for a bit, guilt replacing the harsh eyes that were staring at you all this time

But as quick as they came, they left and you were shot by the killing spell

A women came from behind a tree, hugging Eret almost seductively and gigging

She had control over the veela this entire time, under the imperius curse. Nothing that they were doing were under their control...it was all a ruse to get you to give up

Eret was tortured by the women after that, the dark wizard intending to use them and dispose of them later on

But Eret was saved before they could die, a guilt they will carry for the rest of their life

The veela didn't come out of it completely safe tho, as the women had completely blinded their sight

Making their last view be the death of their lover, done by their own hands

✨

❝ Punz ❞

[Can I just say, Punz barely lived-]

Punz knew what the future had in store for him. There was only one way he could get to live a normal life...and that was without his parents there to control him

So when he, once again, came face to face with them, he knew that he had to end in right there

Spells were thrown around, some deadly some not, both side hoping to get it over and relish in the feeling of victory

The married couple was certain they would win and, in an attempt to finish it all, sent a simultaneous spell at their own son

But Punz wasn't alone anymore

He had other family members who took care of him and friends who adored him

But most importantly, he had you

The perosn who had stayed by his side from the moment they met, even if things did start a bit rocky

So you two teamed up, and ended Punz's obstacle towards his freedom

Punz looked dazed as the ash of his parents fell to the ground. Between feeling like a killer or a winner, he didn't really know what to do

Your hand tugged at his, in a way of getting his attention

"You did it"

"No" he retorted, turning to you "We did it"

As a last attempt to end any "beef" he had with his family, he had one last person to get to

Draco Malfoy

The room of requirements showed itself to you both, showing you the golden trio and the two Slytherin in danger

After helping them out, Punz and Draco had a long talk, from cousin to cousin

It seemed like Draco really needed it

✨

❝ FoolishGamers ❞

Foolish and you stayed behind, helping everyone with injuries

It's not that you weren't strong enough to go to battle, but your help was much more needed here since you were both good with healings spells

The amout of injuries and bodies you had to witness was...scarring

But you two conforted eachother for as much as you could

Needless to say, you made out of it alive and were ready to start fresh

✨

❝ Awesamdude ❞

You two unfortunately didn't even make it to be part of the war

After escaping the castle and hiding in Hogsmade, it took the dark wizards a few days to be found

You're death wasn't the prettiest, between all the torture done by your own parents

But you two had eachother

You and Sam both died a few days after you were found

The torture being too much

But you two couldn't leave without confessing what you both had felt for eachother all these years

[hypnolurker]

I’m Not a Whore

I’m not a whore, OK? I mean what I’m about to do is…well it’s disgusting and degrading and I know it’s a terrible, immoral thing to do but I’m not like that. I don’t like the idea of what I about to do. I wouldn’t be making this choice if I wasn’t desperate and it’s just this once. Just one time. I’m not a whore.

Let me explain. I’m not a wealthy woman. I didn’t go to college or grow up in a well off household and I had to struggle to get work. I work a minimum wage job, live in a cheap apartment and I can just about afford the rent, food and fuel for my hunk of junk that I call a car. I don’t enjoy driving something which feels like it could explode at any moment but it’s not like I can afford a new car and public transport around here is…well…nonexistent. So when my much needed vehicle finally gave in and completely broke down on the way to work today I was understandably concerned. Not just that, I was pissed.

I got it towed and made it into work eventually by hitchhiking but it was hard to concentrate considering how totally fucked I was! I don’t have the money for this shit. I know I can’t afford a new car and when I made it to the garage after work I got the bill for repairs. $500! Fuck! My insurance doesn’t cover my car being an unreliable load of shit so I’m not getting anything from them. Would’ve been better if I crashed. Now if you’re living a life of luxury with a stable job and a decent sized savings account it’s not even a setback. Get your car repaired, get back to work, no problem! However, I am not so lucky, I don’t have anything saved up and none of my friends are gonna lend me that much money, they have issues of their own. So I can’t afford to get it repaired but at the same time I can’t afford not to get to work!

This is where Jeremy comes in. He owns the garage. I’ve been to him a few times, considering the state of my car it’s no surprise, but I always found him creepy. The way he leers at me whenever I come in, grins and looks my body up and down. I try to ignore it but this time he was more confident in his lecherous and perverted ogling. Before I could call him out he propositioned me.

See, he could tell I was stressed about this bill and he probably had a good idea of the state of my financial troubles. So he figured he would help me out by making a ‘friendly offer’ to pay out of pocket for the repairs so I could get back to work without an issue. I actually almost thanked him. I was tearing up a little in joy until I noticed the way he was looking at me with a devilish smile spread over his face. He wanted something in return, it turned out.

“Just one night. I’ll take care of you and your busted up old motor. Think of it like a favour for my kindness. You’ll enjoy it.” He told me as he tried to convince me.

At first I was shocked. I slapped him square in the face in disgust and burst out of there. Who the fuck did he think I was? Some kind of prostitute? Just because I work a terrible job for barely any money doesn’t mean I have no dignity. I don’t sell myself for cash. I would never.

That’s what I was thinking as I left. I was just so angry and offended. The insinuation that I was so desperate and pathetic that I needed his help. Like he was some saviour and I’m some princess in need of rescue. No, more like a peasant begging for the generous Jeremy’s charity. Of course as I was walking away I started to calm down. Slowly the worries took over and as I scoured my mind for an alternative it began to sink in. I really fucking need his money.

Sometimes life just fucks you over. It’s not your fault. I didn’t want to end up here but now I am. I’m in Jeremy’s bedroom. I accepted his offer. I stood outside his garage debating it for a while but it was inevitable. Sometimes you have to let go of your pride and do something you know you’re going to regret later. So now I’m stripping in front of this guy who’s basically a stranger. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never been in touch with my sexual side. I mean, I’m attractive but never had the confidence to show it off. So now I’m nervously pulling down my skirt, kicking it away as I glance up at Jeremy. Half wanting to cover myself up, half hoping he’s enjoying the show. I mean, I don’t really want him to look at me but if I’m doing this I feel obligated to be sexy and to please him.

God that’s degrading. I have to please him. It’s not like I want to. I’m just doing this because I have to. I’m just taking my top and bra off seductively and cupping my breasts because it’s what I have to do. Sliding my panties off because he’s making me. I don’t want to be his sexy little whore I just need the money. It’s just this one time.

ORIGINAL IMAGE FOUND HERE

Ugh god! He’s grabbing me! It’s more forceful than I expected. I guess he doesn’t really have to treat me like a woman. Not tonight. Tonight I’m not me. Tonight I’m his to play with. I don’t care. I just want to get this over with and move on. I just want to…oh! Fuck! His cock is sliding into me…damn it’s big! I didn’t look as he was taking off his pants, tried to focus on my little stripshow and forget he was there, staring and getting harder and ready to fuck me. Now that his cock is inside my private hole I don’t know how to feel. I’m blushing and squeezing my eyes shut. I can’t pretend this isn’t happening, it’s too real. His thick cock pushing against my insides…his hands wrapping around my body, pawing at my breasts…his breath on the back of my neck as he pulls me in closer and starts to pump into me like an animal mating. I’m pushed up against a ladder in his garage as he pounds my body mercilessly and all I can do is whimper and let him do it. I need the money.

That night, that first night seemed to go on and on. Everything about it was degrading and humiliating. The way I felt was impossible to explain. Frustrated and trapped. Detached and confused. Embarrassed and horny. Emotions and thoughts just flooded my brain the whole time. I hated it but at the same time there was a kind of rush there. There was something deep down that liked it. It was hard to deny that I got a kind of twisted pleasure out of how debasing and depraved this was. The idea that I was whoring myself out to this man. Of course I pushed that away and kept telling myself I wasn’t a whore and I didn’t enjoy this. Didn’t stop me from becoming flushed and ending up more than a little wet as he took advantage of me.

He filled me with his cum and I felt it dripping out of my pussy. Leaking and running down my thighs, along the inside of my legs. Afterwards I felt dirty. Soiled. Ruined. I threw on my clothes without cleaning up and he drove me home. The cooling cum still coating my body. I felt it inside me, I felt it dribbling out of me. I was like a used condom, oozing his seed after he finished with me. Now he was throwing me out. It was a disgusting thought and I ignored the strangely pleasurable chill it gave me.

That was the only time. Just then. That’s what I told myself. That’s what I kept telling myself as I tried to forget about that night. Until a few months later. Still scraping by struggling to pay rent and praying for a better job to come along soon I got an unexpected call. It was Jeremy.

“I don’t know if you want to, but if you’re still strapped for cash I have a few friends. Told them about how you’re a hot young piece of ass and you’re not afraid to…get a bit dirty, shall we say, for their help.” He told me.

Once again I was pissed. I swore loudly and hung up immediately. He just brought up that night as I was trying to forget about it! He basically called me a prostitute to his filthy asshole friends and he thought I wanted to whore myself out for him again? I mean, I guess I did it that one time but…I had to. That time didn’t count. Now though, why would I take up his disgusting offer this time? I suppose I am behind on the rent this month but it’s not like I haven’t been in this situation before. Plus my TV is also busted. I mean, TV isn’t essential and I’m getting by without it but it doesn’t look like I’ll be getting a new one soon if I don’t do something.

No! What am I thinking? Why would I cheapen myself and let go of more of my dignity just for some quick cash? I’m not a cheap whore. I mean, it’s tempting…it wouldn’t have to take all night this time. I could…I could get them off quickly. You know, use my body to make them cum instead of shutting my mind off and trying to escape the situation so it goes faster. If each was willing to pay a few hundred bucks then I could pay rent, get a new TV and have a bit of cash let over to put in the bank all in what, a matter of hours? Oh fuck…I’m gonna call Jeremy back.

So, we worked out an arrangement. Jeremy has 5 friends who are interested and wanted to 'meet’ me. $200 per guy, they have to wear a condom and my ass is off limits but otherwise it’s up to them how we do it. Everyone agreed and he set up the meetings. I felty so dirty just discussing it. Like, every time he mentioned a detail I asked myself if I could just change my mind. Tell him to fuck off and end this bullshit. Putting a price on my body like I’m a fucking sex object? It’s just so fucking degrading! Am I really going to fuck 5 guys I never met? For money? Is this a good idea? It’s feels so degrading and vile but at the same time…well…I don’t want to admit it but I’m kind of getting turned on at the idea. Well, I am into guys and in my imagination I’m going to be meeting up with these 5 hunks who are all chiselled and dreamy. It’s not my fault that the idea of meeting up with a hot stranger and having sex turns me on, who wouldn’t be turned on at least a little? It’s not slutty. I’m not a whore…not really…

Ok. I’m fucking the last guy now. They…weren’t what I was hoping. They were all kind of normal, maybe a bit ugly guys and they aren’t exactly my type either but I tried to ignore that. If I just keep the images of handsome guys in my head I can get into it. I’ve found that I can actually be pretty good at making guys cum. That sounds so bad but it’s true. Once I get into it and forget that I’m being so slutty and doing something so despicable…once I push that out of my head I can actually get into it and start to enjoy it.

ORIGINAL IMAGE FOUND HERE

They all wanted to use my mouth. I don’t know what it is with guys and blowjobs but they really seem to love them. The first guy was hard…fuck that’s not a joke I mean it was difficult to bring myself to do it. I felt so nervous and ashamed of myself and it must have been off putting to him. Blowjobs are just…more intimate than regular sex. It’s easier to distance yourself from what you’re doing, tell yourself you don’t want it and be just a reluctant participant in the immoral act when his cock is in your pussy. When it’s in your mouth…well it’s impossible to ignore. You can taste it and smell it, feel it throb in your throat whenever you flick your tongue around it. You’re more in control. Even when he’s pushing your head down…which most of them did…even then I had my tongue to use. I could make him cum quicker with the way I licked him, it was so much more direct.

As I went through guys I began to get a bit crazy. At the start it was sickening and I could tell myself I didn’t enjoy it. Think about the money. Do it for the money. After several guys cumming in my mouth and across my face I found my feelings changing. I was getting used to this pretty quickly. That should have frightened me but instead there was something so…thrilling about this. I was making these guys cum. If I got into the right mindset, even though I wasn’t attracted to these guys it was actually really sexy. Feeling their cum on me, tasting it’s saltiness on my tongue, it wasn’t so bad. It was kind of hot. I started to feel my self getting excited and my panties dampen slightly as I sucked off these guys. It was…weird. The way I saw myself was beginning to warp and it was terrifying and fucking hot.

Of course not all were satisfied with just a blowjob. One tried to convince me to let him fuck my ass. I nearly walked out, he knew the rules after all. Instead I ended up convincing him to use my pussy. Two others also fucked my pussy and the last guy was the best. Maybe it was because I was wettest by this point. I could taste several guys cum and feel it dripping from me and there was just something so sleazy and filthy about the whole thing and it made me way too horny. I wasn’t used to this. I wasn’t used to feeling so pathetic and cheap and I definitely wasn’t used to liking it.

So I paid my rent and I bought a new TV. I did my best to shut out the urges. Now that I had done that again it was fresher in my mind. In fact I couldn’t help but dream about it. I had heated and restless nights reliving that day in my head as I found my pussy growing unusually wet at the thought of whoring myself out like that again. Somehow I only remembered it as more and more enjoyable. The sex seemed better and better as I looked back on it and it was far too tempting thinking I could earn money so easily. The things I could buy if I were to just go back to that…I wasn’t a whore…not that much of a whore, I told myself.

Then I started wanting to buy more stuff. Strange how amazing that dress looks when I can’t afford it. How much I could use that new skin product. I was starting to notice my appearance more and it was distracting. There were so many thing I wanted that could make me more beautiful and fashionable but money is so hard to get. Unless I went back to Jeremy. Unless I milked my cash out of guys’ dicks again. I wouldn’t really do that would I?

Of course I ended up doing it again. I couldn’t help myself. It was too easy. Too fun. Once you let go of those silly ideas of pride and all that you can slip into the role pretty easily. Jeremy was super helpful, he’s kind of my pimp now. I don’t like to think of it that way but yeah, he’s kind of my pimp. He finds guys who are willing to pay to have fun with me and I…well I fuck them.

So I’ve been doing this a lot now after work. It’s like a hobby. A super fucking hot hobby. I don’t know, I guess I had this desire all along and only realised when I started fucking these guys for money but the idea of being a whore makes me wet. Like, wetter than anything else! It’s just so addictive. Every time I get pumped full of a stranger’s cum I get this sensation of pleasure. This guilt suppressed by bursts of delight as I know my panties are getting soiled with my dirty little whore juices as I crave that filthy feeling of perverted pleasure.

I figured I would start acting like a better whore. I mean, when I say it like that it sounds kind of weird but I just wanted to get into this more. If I start acting more like a…what’s the word…um, stereotype…of a whore then I will please the guys more. I could get more money. Not just that, it feels…when I act dumber or sluttier or needier I feel hotter…it makes my slit drip. So I’ve been working on sounding dimmer and agreeing more. Jeremy is helping me. He’s great, he teaches me so much about being a good whore. What to wear, what to say, how to suck and fuck…ung…I want to rent my pussy out right now it’s getting really sloppy thinking about this. I know I’m getting really messed up now but I don’t even want to fight it. It’s so much fun to do what Jeremy tells me and become a better and better whore for him.

Jeremy tells me what clothes to buy and the outfits he chooses are so revealing. It’s not something I would wear before but now when I see them, see what I look when I’m wearing them, I feel so slutty and suddenly my pussy is all gooey and needy. That’s how he gets me to buy them. I know I should probably save my money or something but it’s getting hard to even think about money. Jeremy wants me to focus on the sex. Focus on pleasing my clients. I nod and tell him yes, I’ll happily do that. I would rather focus on getting my sensitive pussy pumped full of men’s cum anyway. He’s right. He’s turning me into an obedient, mindless whore. I’m gonna be a total whore soon.

ORIGINAL IMAGE FOUND HERE

Wow! That’s, like, the seventh guy to fuck my ass today! I think so…I have a bit of a hard time counting nowadays! I quit my silly old job, it was so boring and got in the way of selling my cute little slut body! Giggle Master Jeremy has totally made me into a super hot, horny whore for him and his friends! I can’t remember how long it’s been now but, like, i don’t even care. It’s just so fun getting to fuck all day and getting money for it too! I don’t know how much I’m making because I’m so bad with numbers so master Jeremy took over the money part for me but I’m sure I’m getting like, loads 'n’ loads of money for all the yummy cum I’m eating now. He is totally proud of me!

I’m a good little whore.

[secretgamergirl]

It kind of hurts to think about just how stupid nazis are, and they need to be picked on about it more often.

It's late, I'm procrastinating about going to bed, and some nazi just wandered into a Discord server I'm in and started rambling in the most breathtakingly brainless way. He's not having any sort of conversation with anyone or saying anything relevant to the purpose of the channel, just... random stupid gibberish, mostly nazi coded, but mixed in with other stuff that's just... stupid. He's rambling about people clutching pearls over "the sexism and AI" in some banner ad that's just like, one of those generic corporate art deals with a bunch of random people smiling, and then he starts rambling about spiders and viruses that "shut computers down from epilepsy" and you can just see everyone else in the server having this mental debate over whether to just start shouting "what the hell are you even talking about you deluded weirdo? Do you even know what any of these words you're using mean?" or try to be more polite and diplomatic, or just pretend this loser isn't there.

Personally I'm biting my tongue because I have this strong urge to just kinda pin this creep to the wall and start interrogating him about why he's wasting his time watching youtube videos from other braindead losers and trying to parrot the incoherent garbage that comes out of their mouths, and how he expected people were going to react to this drivel, but I know this particular crowd wouldn't appreciate such an active effort to try and restart this piece of garbage's critical thinking skills.

For real though, it's one thing to internalize all the really really stupid propaganda and invent strawmen to try to argue with and all that, but even without the incoherent mutterings about feminism, this guy's making a first impression on a crowd of strangers that his brain doesn't function, he's not going to shut up, and he's just going to keep throwing out incomprehensible word salad until people stop paying attention or kick him out. How is that your gameplan in life? What sort of setting is that going to work in as a means of integrating with some sort of community?

This isn't the only recent example I've seen of this either. Someone was just telling me the other day how the whole nazi culture war sphere wasted like a week or two moaning and rending their garments because they got the idea in their head that in TMNT: Mutant Mayhem (which is really great, and you should see it), they "made Splinter gay." And like... they didn't. They didn't do anything that would ever give anyone that sort of impression. They actually made him rather emphatically heterosexual, and there's this whole bit about him wishing he could find a date. But... some braindead nazi got this idea in his head, somehow, and ranted about it because it was the best dumb culture war thing he could think of to ramble about, and then all the rest started parroting this idiot and shouting about how much they hate this movie that clearly not a one of them has actually watched, or read a review of, or seen a trailer for, or read a vague wikipedia summary on. They're just all making complete clowns of themselves for like a straight month. It's really just beyond pathetic seeing this stuff.

And like... I dunno. Obviously some of these people are so far gone there's nothing to be done for it but justified self-defense measures, but when these idiot children are first dipping a toe in the water, someone really needs to just pull them aside and ask them why the hell they think it's a good idea to take advise from the dumbest most reviled losers on the planet and start acting in a way that's obviously going to leave them completely and utterly shunned and ridiculed by basically every single person on the planet, you know?

[chalkythetalkie]

for the fic asks, BTS but you can choose the fic lol

BTS: I’ll write a DVD commentary about my personal favorite passage from [that fic]

This is from my most recent one, sex karma:

Ogata arrives at the coffee shop with a few minutes to spare, but Yuusaku is already there. He seems to have been waiting for a while, if the amount of twisted and torn paper napkins littering the table is any indicator. [this is a nervous tic i personally have and wanted to bestow upon yuusaku for no reason]

He thought he’d forgotten what Yuusaku's face looks like, but it all comes back to him in an instant. Yuusaku looks the same as he did before Ogata scared him off for good over 5 years ago – the same lively eyes inherited from his mother, the same handsome, boyish face. [i started working on this sequel wayyy before the Yuusaku Face Reveal, so the original draft mentions Yuusaku having the patented Hanazawa Bracket Eyebrows lol. It was a popular headcanon at the time!] The only thing that's different this time around is his hair, which had been completely obscured in the streams – his current neat side part suits him better than the buzz cut he was sporting years ago, Ogata thinks.

However, he looks like shit today – probably from lack of sleep. His eyes are bloodshot, the skin around them rubbed raw as if he’s been crying for hours. He sees Ogata approaching and immediately sits up straighter, looking up at him with a mix of relief and apprehension.

Ogata's never seen Yuusaku like this before. In public, he's always been the perfect picture of the ideal son. Even during the streams, where he let another side of himself turn loose, Yuusaku still kept this general sense of good-naturedness about him.

It seems that the stress of the situation had been enough to peel back that façade. [if you're wondering how horrible Yuusaku's night was, exactly, he made a panicked Reddit post at 2am telling his story and asking for advice from total strangers online but got his post removed from the subreddit bc everyone thought it was bait. all the while trying to frantically call Ogata and picturing himself being disowned by their dad]

“Brother,” Yuusaku says in a tight voice. Ogata can't help grinning as he takes the seat across from him.

“Yuusaku,” he replies nonchalant, reaching for the menu propped up in the middle of the table. Yuusaku visibly freezes when their hands almost touch, remaining tense until Ogata grabs the menu and opens it. “You want to order anything?”

Yuusaku stares at him as if he's gone insane. “Huh?”

“it’s only polite, after all. You did ruin this table's napkin supply, the least you could do is order something.”

Yuusaku looks down at his hands, his surprised expression betraying the fact he hadn’t even realized he'd emptied the napkin dispenser with his fidgeting. [i also do this] He tries to gather the ruined, crumpled bits of paper scattered on the table, but the resulting pile is even more pathetic than a scattered mess. [yes i've also done this]

Ogata skims the menu and calls a waitress over to their table. “Here, I'd like a piece of chocolate cake and an expresso,” he says. She jots down his order while discreetly side-eyeing Ogata's flustered table companion. “Don't you want anything, little brother?”

Yuusaku stares at him wide-eyed, like he's just been punched in the face. [that's the moment when yuusaku's peepee starts to harden btw] He manages to stutter out “w-water, please,” and holds his breath until the slightly baffled waitress leaves. [i didn't actually picture any particular GK character making a cameo as this waitress, but i invite readers to picture the one they personally think would be the funniest]

Ogata is having the time of his life – it’s about time a Hanazawa feels a fraction of the stress he and his mother went through all those years ago.

“Does anyone else know?” Yuusaku sighs, slumping his ridiculously broad shoulders.

“No. Just me.”

“Oh... OK,” Yuusaku blinks, seems to relax a little. “Then what... what do you want, broth—Hyakunosuke?”

“Straight to the point, huh? Didn't think you had it in you.” Ogata sets his elbows on the table and leans closer to Yuusaku. “But then again, you're a smart kid, right? Father made sure to enrol you in the best schools, and then in the best university... Surely an education befitting of the sole Hanazawa heir.” [i really like the bitterness in Ogata's voice here tbh. this is my favorite scene in the whole fic bc i honestly think i did a really good job at the dialogue]

The waitress returns to the table and Ogata leans back to let her set down the beautifully decorated slice of cake, his expresso and Yuusaku's bottled water. She glances at the small pile of ruined napkins and barely contains a sigh before going back to her post by the counter.

“What would the old man say, I wonder,” Ogata continues, “if he found out that the perfect son he’s invested so much time and money into spends his nights showing his ass to degenerates online?” [he wouldn't even get to say anything, bc the sheer stress of hearing the news would've made Mr. Hanazawa pop a brain aneurysm and die immediately]

Ogata takes a sip of his coffee, entertained by the sight of Yuusaku's face being drained of all colour.

“I... I'll do anything you want, Hyakunosuke!” Yuusaku whispers hurriedly. His eyes are welling up with fresh tears – God, how embarrassing is it, seeing a grown man lose his composure in public? “If you keep this secret... Please, I'll do anything.”

“Anything is quite broad, isn't it?” Ogata eats a forkful of cake, savouring the rich sweetness of it and the distress he's managed to cause in Yuusaku. “Anything implies limitlessness. Would you really do anything to keep me quiet?”

“I would!” Ogata raises an eyebrow at his lack of hesitation. “You... You don't know how father is. How he could get if he knew. “ [i headcanon Koujirou as a very emotionally abusive dad, even to (or especially to!) Yuusaku. Like, Ogata might think that Yuusaku got it easy bc blah blah blah blessed child, and in a way he did! but being raised to be a perfect person who always pleases others WILL fuck you up]

He has an idea of how Koujiro Hanazawa could get when his perfect, legitimate family life is disturbed by something (or someone) as scandalous as this. It wouldn’t be a good reaction, that’s for sure. [massive understatement lol]

“It's a deal, then? You'll do anything I want?”

Another sip of coffee as he watches Yuusaku’s throat swallow a silent sob.

“Yes... Anything.”

“I have the whole thing screenshotted, you know,” Ogata grins. “So don't even think that deleting everything will ever get you out of this.”

Yuusaku nods automatically, and after a beat he blushes violently, as if he’s suddenly realizing what the whole thing entails. Ogata wonders if he isn't dizzy already, what with all his blood flushing in and out of his face so quickly. [not pictured: in and out of his dick, too]

He continues to eat his piece of cake leisurely, letting the uncomfortable silence stretch until Yuusaku is squirming in his seat. He looks like he wants to say something, but Ogata doesn't intend to make it too easy for him. He's already been pampered enough in this life. [i just knowww that Ogata has thought Deeply/fantasised about blackmailing Yuusaku to his advantage before. The whole cake bit was mentally rehearsed for years]

“... H-How much did you watch—”

“—you want a bite? This cake is really good,” Ogata bluntly interrupts, pointing at his plate. Yuusaku’s lips tighten, but he eventually gives a hesitant nod. With how nervous he’s looking, it’s safe to assume he didn't eat anything before their meeting. He must be starving.

He makes for the fork, but Ogata pulls it out of his reach at the last second. Yuusaku looks confused as Ogata carves a piece of cake and points the fork at him.

“Open up.”

Yuusaku freezes, looking into Ogata's face, searching for a way out of this. There isn't one. [Yuusaku's boner coming back with a Vengeance at this exact moment]

“B-Brother—”

“Don’t be difficult,” Ogata says coldly.

 Yuusaku hesitates for a moment longer, eyes darting from side to side as he checks if any of the coffee shop's other customers are looking at them. [they aren't. but the waitress is] Finally, he leans forward and bashfully lets Ogata feed him the cake.

“Delicious, isn't it?” Ogata purrs. Yuusaku nods, chewing carefully. Ogata carves another forkful, and Yuusaku takes his second bite with a bit less hesitation. [yuusaku strikes me as the kind of guy who has major sweet tooth]

It's funny, how he seems to have acclimated to the idea of following Ogata's whims so quickly. Such a natural-born doormat.

“Well, then, let's go,” Ogata says. He rises from his chair and Yuusaku looks up at him, dumbfounded. “You'll pay the bill, right?”

“W-What? Where are we going?” he gets up, a bit unsteady on his feet. Ogata’s eyes don't miss how Yuusaku’s hands unconsciously reach down to tug his sweater in place, over his belt. [boner CONFIRMED]

“We've got some shopping to do.” [i was originally going to detail the excruciating shopping torture in its own scene, but i thought better and realized i had already gotten my point across lol]

[envihellbender]

Victor is the devil come to destroy a small southern town, Oswald is the sole priest who can either save the town that’s never been kind to him, or tame this demon and walk backwards into Hell with him

Fandom: Gotham, Southern Gothic Devil Victor and Priest Oswald AU

Characters: Oswald Cobblepot, Victor Zsasz

Oswald couldn’t explain quite what woke him up. All he knew is his eyes snapped open and he felt nothing but empty, quiet darkness through out his body. He sat up suddenly in his small, creaking bed, his hands slamming down either side of him as he looked up in shock and terror. His hazel eyes wide and jaw slack and open. In front of him, in his doorway was an intruder - one who he could see perfectly despite the lights being off. The stranger grinned as he stared at him. His head was shaved and his skin pale, his green eyes gleamed at him - impossibly bright.

“Mother-” Oswald began to call. The young man laughed and took a few steps forward.

“She can’t hear you, Oswald,” the young man said. “It’s just you and me for a little while.” Oswald knew he wasn’t lying, his mother’s insomnia would keep her awake at all hours. Her pacing made the entire house creek and the sounds of the crackling television poured throughout the rooms at night. Their old bungalow had the thinnest walls and his Mother did everything loudly. Right now however, the house was completely silent.

“What- what are you?” Oswald stammered, curling up in his small single bed and holding his knees close to his chest.

“What do you think I am?” He teased. “I’ve been going by Victor recently, I’m fond of it. Let’s hope it rings true.”

“I- Victor? You seem more like-” Oswald swallowed and screwed his eyes shut. “Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord-”

“How cute, that won’t help you now,” Victor interrupted. He sat down on the side of the bed. “Hey, handsome. Look at me.” Oswald’s eyes cracked open as he anxiously curled in on himself trying to block everything about this creature out of his mind. “What has your Church and your Lord god ever given you?”

“I- I’m-” Oswald felt ashamed that he couldn’t come up with an answer immediately. Did he even deserve to be a priest? Then it dawned on him. “Certainty. It’s given me certainty. Hope. Faith. I know God will one day reward me-”

“Yeah, yeah. I know,” Victor said as he rolled his eyes. “But right now. What have they given you?”

“I don’t-”

“They’ve forced you to live as a girl, they mocked your affliction, beat you, they exorcised your as a child, they do nothing but demean your sermons and speak of you like an exhibit of a freak show. Would a kind and loving god do that? After you gave him such devotion? Such kindness?” Victor’s voice had a smooth, warmth to it. Oswald knew he was being manipulated but he found it hard to disagree with the handsome stranger who used his true name without question and made him feel more accepted in minutes than he had in his whole life.

“What are you?” Oswald asked, his voice growing more steady.

“I have many names.” Victor shrugged and his eyes glinted in the moonlight as if his body exceeded night sky in power and importance. “Samael. Satan. Lucifer. Beelzebub. The Devil… but you can call me Victor.”

“You- no. Leave. Leave me-”

“Listen to me, Oswald,” Victor said. He reached out and cupped Oswald’s cheek with his thin pale hand. “I came to destroy this repulsive, pathetic, pious little town. Then I saw you. I saw potential. I wanted to protect you. Does that sound like the Devil your Church teaches against?”

“I- no. It does not,” Oswald admitted quietly, his cheeks growing wet.

“You’re like me. An abandoned son who’s home showed him nothing but pain. Why do you think I ran to hell?” Victor’s smile became sympathetic, and Oswald hated how much sense it made.

“That- I don’t-” He tried to protest.

“You’re tempted. I can tell. You understand me, more than you’ve ever understood anyone.” There was a powerful simplicity to what Victor said that burned into Oswald’s chest.

“I- perhaps, yes. But I don’t intend to-”

“Think about it. I’ll give you three days. I’ll come to you here, and you can tell me your decision. Either you fight me to try and save your town, you die with them, or you come with me back to hell as my new prince of darkness. The choice is yours.” Before Oswald could speak, Victor clicked his fingers in front of his eyes, and the room returned to blackness.

[griefabyss69]

WIP - teach me how 2 kill a bad guy

Hey! This is my most recent WIP, I thought I'd share a piece of what I have so far : ) I plan on completing it and posting it to my ao3 when it's done.

I've tried a different kind of narration where it's more of an Eddie stream of consciousness than a third person telling a story, but I also haven't edited any of this yet so I'm not sure how much that comes through.

------

Stranger Things - Steddie - Rated: E (for sexual content, though this post actually doesn't have any in it)

Themes: D&D, roleplaying, LARPing, getting together

Summary: Steve gets Eddie to show him how to play D&D and takes Eddie's introductory campaign in a direction he's never gone before.

------

He goes and wrings his hands where he stands at the kitchen table, a big one now that they live somewhere with more space, his big D&D Manual and a few other books and a lot of paper neatly aligned across it in a way he never does.

He hates the waiting. Steve's not even late yet, he's just unable to go and do something else and focus on it while he knows he'll be showing up soon. So all he has is his mind, the one that's dutifully catching him up on all of the crazy shit his life has done lately, giving him the worst time to start actually freaking out that Steve's coming over and Eddie's sharing one of the biggest loves of his life with him.

If Steve's a dick about anything he knows he can just make him leave, but he knows it'd still hurt a lot. He can take the rejections he creates himself, the logical conclusion to acting and dressing in certain ways, but this is something Steve asked him to offer up on a platter, like offering up his neck to a vampire, and he said yes to Steve's vampire bit- he said yes to uh, Steve and D&D, not any sexy neck stuff-

Reign in your fucking metaphors, Christ.

This is more like a cat rolling over to show it's belly to someone it trusts, hoping that they don't get attacked for it, anyway. It suits better because Eddie knows exactly what it's like to have his guts gnawed on, but the bats never really seduced him into being a human juice box. Go figure.

And in the back of his mind, he knows he'd like it if Steve bit his ne-

The doorbell rings and he jumps, feeling more like a Halloween cat now, fur all pulled up and ready to hiss in his surprise. Maybe if he keeps the cat metaphors coming he can get through today without thinking about Steve's nice hair or whatever his greatest feature is supposed to be.

He tries to do that breathing thing Robin taught him that apparently works for her, but he just wheezes every time. It's probably not for smokers, or he's doing it wrong or something.

Get the fucking door, Eddie. You can do it.

So he practically rips the door off of it's hinges, except he's still got weirdness in his body from beating death and months of big injuries, so it bumps against the wall pathetically. He shakes out his hands and opens the screen door carefully, forcing a smile onto his face so he can greet the guy making his stomach regret it's existence.

"Welcome, welcome," he says, stepping out of the way and gesturing for Steve to come in. "Shoes off at the door, otherwise make yourself at home."

Steve shoots him an amused look and kicks his shoes off, using a foot to knock them together neatly.

Eddie closes the doors in a really normal way, which is a fucking relief.

"Hey," he says, always sounding so cool despite the fact that he stopped being cool like at least two years ago.

Eddie nods back at him, counting two seconds to take in how he looks before he forces himself to head back into the kitchen.

"I figured it'd be easier to set up at the table, even if the chairs were made by Satan himself," he says, looking up once he's standing by the seat he already chose.

Steve's fucking backlit by a window again, the sunset shining in on him beautifully like a blessing from an angel of hairspray or something. Bastard.

He laughs, another beautiful thing that beams out and washes over Eddie. He doesn't even need to roll over, he's already done for.

Ever since the anniversary party, it had been too hard to keep placing denial up around himself like a brick cabin, especially when Steve came around and turned it all into wet cardboard anyway, and so he's really just taking him in unfiltered, a horrible decision he didn't really get to make.

"It's not Satan's fault he only knows how to make chairs that torture people," Steve says, choosing to sit right next to Eddie. It's fine. Now he won't have to try to gaze into his beautiful eyes a totally normal amount. "I think it was nice of him to give you a housewarming gift."

Eddie chokes on a hysterical giggle, super happy to sit down and cough instead of let that come out of his mouth, shifting around to try to get comfortable on the hard wooden chair.

"You're right," he says, distributing some paper and a pencil and some dice to Steve. "I'm being ungrateful."

Steve's smile is even gorgeous when he's got his mouth closed, nice lips curving up in a complement to the rest of his nice face.

Eddie's like two seconds away from taking the largest book on this table and trying to knock himself out with it. Fucking focus!

"So, I'm sure you've picked up on some of this stuff by now," he says, pulling the manual closer and flipping it open to the first useful page. "But we're going to pretend you've only just heard of the game a minute ago and begged me to teach you. That way it'll all be linear and understandable, instead of whatever convoluted super-genuis way of describing it you've heard from the gremlins."

Steve looks at the book warily, panic briefly flashing over his face before he seems to collect himself. He's about to say something friendly and reassuring when he opens his outrageous mouth again and shoots Eddie in the dick.

"I don't remember having to beg for it," he says, smirking.

Horrible.

Maybe Steve's getting cold feet and now wants to distract him with one of the only things that possibly could draw his attention away. But Steve's not supposed to know that, so he drums his fingers on the book and desperately ignores the heat in his face.

"What can I say? I'm a generous guy," he replies, watching the edge of Steve's mouth twitch before he forces his eyes back down to the manual.

"So for learning purposes we're going to use characters I've already got, but if you like this then I'll teach you how to make one yourself. It's one of the best parts of the game, I think."

Eddie feels it when Steve stops looking at him, making him relax a little bit in relief. His stare isn't a burden but it's heavy, and makes him feel like Steve's reading his mind. Before, he would've thought that's impossible and it would've been reassuring even if the weighty stare of a hot guy was still enough to get him flustered, and Now, he knows that anything is possible if the government tortures enough people about it.

He hands Steve a character sheet and doesn't think about the ones in his room, hidden away from him because they're all a bit incriminating, both about gay shit and about Steve in particular.

"So you've played this one before?" Steve asks, looking down at it.

"Hmm?" Eddie looks up from where he was looking over the character he'd be playing, shaking his head. "No, I made that for today, just as an example."

Steve nods slowly, eyebrows furrowing as he looks over the numbers. Eddie has a bunch of photocopies of a template for this, but he's written all of the names for the abbreviated stats underneath them. Normally he wouldn't, and normally he certainly wouldn't have written other little notes on the page to give more context for what everything is for, but…

He really wants Steve to get it, and for him to like it, and maybe like Eddie. Sue him.

"Thanks for doing all of this," Steve says, putting the sheet down so he can do something cruel, like give Eddie his full attention again. "I do really appreciate it, and I know I'm going to probably be the worst you've ever seen at it."

"Nah, that's a high bar, honestly," Eddie lies, winking at him. "As long as you're patient, I'll be patient."

He's not about to fucking discourage him from this.

Steve's smile is like the sunbeams all over again, and in an act of self preservation, he gets to work, starting to explain things for real.

-----

Let me know if you enjoyed it!

[flames-memory]

Sunday

I caught up with BC talking to Alurra. I guess we’re trusting them. She says it was a misunderstanding. The 4 women are these angels, and they attacked Raz, and lost. So they submitted to being his slaves. Now they think he’s the bee’s knees. BC says they’re still technically “in bondage” but I gotta say I kinda agree with Alurra – sounds like they agreed to it, signed up for it, and aren’t being abused. Sounds like they are slaves in name only – they have made their agreement with him, and they’re free to go if they like. I won’t argue with BC’s feelings on it. I was stupid enough to sign on with Kass.. a complete stranger. I just.. went with the first person to tell me what to do.. like, what is WRONG with me. Too fresh out of the lab, probably. Still WAY too used to just obeying, god I got on my knees for her so fast, even SHE remarked on it. Fucking pathetic, myself, there. I was alone, after the labs, and lonely. Kass seemed nice, at least. Fuck me. We talked a little about Kass, the photos, and her desire to... Er... Breed me. Just.. no. No. no. no. omg no. Fucking no. I can't even begin to explain how much no.

Anyway, we’re leaving Raz be.

Feels like another dodged bullet. I remember meeting him that first day with Kass, and feeling like he was.. slimy? There was something icky about the way he talked about his women. He clearly snubbed me, but I figured that was to be expected. I was literally the lowest slave in the place, barely more than garbage.. or at least, I thought that was how they all viewed me. I guess it was even worse – I just wasn’t interesting enough for anyone to talk to. I talked to him later, and he gave me the I’m-not-a-predator-no-matter-what-you-hear speech. I will say, he’s been civil to me since. I’m just glad I didn’t get involved in any of his drama.

We went later, to the fallout party at Stormcage. It was.. fallout-y. The music was, of course, awesome. The trivia was.. eff that, it sucked. The clues were weird and confusing, for the most part, and I got flustered too easily to answer. Hey, first time, I’ll do better next time, heh. I knew answers, but I couldn’t get them out of my mouth. That was one of the few games I got access to during at the labs. I didn’t get to play a lot, but it was so fun. I love Dogmeat. Wish I had room in my life for a pet. Maybe if I ever get my OWN place… heh.. I admitted to Max this weekend that that wasn’t my apartment. I have to – owner’s coming back, so I gotta get my ass OUT. Find a new place.

Managed to squeeze a little fun work in there, did a few jobs with Max. We make such an amazing team! He kept saying he’s not a tank… like.. neither am I, I’m a squishy freak, are you kidding?? But he did so good, and we only got hit REAL hard once.. okay, twice for me, but once for Max. I wonder what it would be like with BC along.. I haven’t gotten to see her like that, I don’t think. Maybe before she saved me, I don’t remember. I feel like I don’t remember a lot from them.. I was in such a dark cloud. Not anymore. And I’m going to make sure I don’t forget anything important. I need to keep up on this journal.

I like knowing my Mistress can read it. She can help me keep things straight, not leave anything important out. Got to stay on top of it. I don’t know why this feels so important to me. Might be the first memories that ever mattered to me so much. Maybe it’s Emma. She scares me a little. So happy and nice… but she’s kinda like me. I think the scientists in her lab didn’t do any creepy fuckery on her.. but how would she know? She’s got no freaking memories. How does she just.. go on, like oh, well. She said it’s all boring dead ends, she’s an orphan and shit, but.. who told you that? I don’t know if I could be as chill about it as she is. Maybe it’s a front. I may not like my memories, a lot of them are kind of grey and vague nowadays, details forgotten I don’t want to remember. I’m not losing these memories. I mean.. it’s not like I ever think I will forget BC’s face, her green eyes, her beautiful pale hair, her strong presence, so protective and powerful.. I’ll never forget any of that.

But I might forget how often she tells me she loves me. I might forget how much she’s a magnet, and I’m full of iron filings, constantly drawn to her, to touch her. There’s a sexy side to it, no question, god, just kissing her makes me wanna rip off my clothes and beg her for more… and I never want to forget sitting her on the couch, making her sit still for a moment, so I could kiss her. Show her how much I want to touch her.. I never want her to doubt it. I feel hesitant, afraid, making dominant gestures like that, being in control more than being passive, but I wanted to kiss every part of her, I wanted her to stay still and let me kiss parts of her I.. was afraid to go near really. But her… well.. no need to get too crazy here.. it was amazing. The real point is I don’t want to forget all the things that shaped our relationship. The mistakes, so I don’t repeat them. The successes, so I can relive them. The moments in between, because that’s our life.

Max.. it’s not the same. I want to kiss and snuggle him.. probably a lot more, too.. although I don’t want to rush it. Not only is it somehow different because he’s a man, but also because it’s.. so normal. He didn’t rescue me from possible destruction, or save me from an abuser or anything dramatic like that. He found me at a party, and said hi. BC is my all-consuming tempest, my blinding love. Max is that cool, calm lake, serenity and peace. My ice and fire right there. My Mistress of Flame, and my Icy Boy Toy.. god.. I’ve been trying not to call him that. He’s more important to me than that. Just because it’s not a wild and crazy kind of love doesn’t make it less. I’m grateful for it. Just because a love is wild and crazy doesn’t make it any lesser, either. BC is not a mild mannered lady, loving her is never going to be boring. I hope I’m enough to keep both of them happy. At least BC has Eliza, too. Makes me happy to know that.

Texted BC.. sounds like she had a good night. Some partying.. then helping out the LTs, and finally.. helping drunk girls (Melody? I have probably seen them around) not get hurt in the D. She mentioned helping Felicia, too. I don’t know these people well.. I am still getting to know all these other players out here. Such a giant sign of how crap the Black Holes were. How was here this entire time, longer than BC has been! And I feel like I don’t know ANYONE. I’m glad she has so many people around who care about her. Didn’t stop Friday’s fiasco, but they helped her, and again – I trust BC.. so I’ll trust them.

[parallel-selfs]

Playful Land (Chapter 5)

Translation by Ekala and Gasumasuku Gamer.

;-;

"Hell will welcome you... with open arms." (The first thing that popped in my head)

"Dude, you tricked teenagers... this doesn't make you look smart, it makes you look... pathetic..."

(Grim ;-;)

Kalim, no.

Kalim, remove your mask, go off on them.

Ace, I love you. I know he's giving the most pathetic whine.

"But Ferro, I crave violence." -Gidel

I just thought of how to defeat Ferro. Tie him up and have Ortho threat to carry him above the park unless he tells them how to reverse the curse.

Coward.

Rude.

Ortho, tie him up.

Fuck this guy. (I don't hate the character, I just like bullying him)

Ortho has fallen, but is still floating.

That's complete BS! Well, my theory is yeeted out of the window like the fox tail.

Even Ace and Ferro like "guys, we're in the middle of something."

I want Kalim to say "fuck you."

Yeah, because they're teenagers, teenagers are rebellious. And they can say they hate school because they actually go to school unlike a butthurt adult.

Kalim keeps you on your toes.

Kalim was willing to pay you to release his friends, you could gotten more money than the original payment.

He declined out of pride and trying to prove something to himself which made him lose his conscience.

"Knowledge is power, school is a place of knowledge."

Gidel is using sign language, we all know it's true.

Damn, Ace.

They didn't lose to you, they lost to Saw-like amusement park.

(A terrifying experience, Cater)

Grim immediately jumping into Kalim's arms is cute.

"Wait. Where's Kate?" -Ace

*Vomiting sounds in background*

"She's... not doing well at the moment." -Grim

"I got her." -Ortho

~~~~

"What are we doing?" Alice is leaning on Ortho for support.

"Oh, Alice, how are you feel- Ahh! What is that on your face?!" -Ferro

"Blot." It's coming from her nose, mouth and ears.

"After quickly scanning her body, it seems the spell was preventing her blot from filtering out properly. It's going to take quite awhile for it flush out of her system completely." -Ortho

"She looks like she's ready to collapse. Ortho, I'll carry her." -Jack

"Wha- why are you so relaxed about this?" -Ferro

"Because 1) they're used to it, and 2) don't ask questions you don't want the answer to."

Kalim wouldn't break his happy-go-lucky attitude, but that doesn't mean he can't break your spine.

She destroys a small building, and then lies down on a bench.

Ah shit.

You called them idiots, now you're expecting them to save you. Bruh.

"Get on the eels' back."

Holding on the bench tightly.

"That was one hell of a ride."

When Ferro says he wouldn't be caught, police officers start shouting and running over. "Wha- why is the police doing here?" Ace says, surprised.

Ferro is arrested and catches the sight of Alice's evil smile as he's taken away with Gidel being led by another officer.

The group is brought to the side as the park is searched. They are questioned while Ortho treats Alice. Professor Trein and Crewel run over to the group and are clearly relieved to see them, then start lecturing them on how foolish it was to trust a stranger and skip school.

"Bailey and Anderson informed us early this morning about Playful Land and to call the police."

The students look defended while being chewed out. "Question, why did you and the police know we were here?" Ortho asks.

Ortho knows this and decides to help her by explaining Ferro's magic and how it affected them. The rest joins in.

"Miss Winter asked them to tell us if she didn't come back last night or this morning. Which brings me to why didn't you tell us last night, Miss Winter? This was extremely irresponsible of you to let your life and others' lives be in danger."

"But Professor Trein, Professor Crewel, Fellow Honest's magic prevent me from saying anything to you two. I was lucky enough to able to say something to my students," she lies.

"Beside, if we didn't go the park wouldn't be found out that was being used to turn people into dolls. We were seen with the fox who tricked everyone, therefore, Night Raven College students saved the day."

The customers of the park are seen as they walk passed the group with officers and locals guiding them to a safer area. The two grow quiet. Professor Trein assigns them a punishment to finish both yesterday's and today's assignments before 5pm.

With a sigh of tiredness, the students accept before being treated for injuries.

[akuyaku-reijou]

Imagine you are Yoo Myeongwoo.

Imagine you are at the lowest point of your entire life. You are without a job, without money, with no usable skills or accomplishments. You are actively suicidal. However, even your suicide attempt ended as a failure (what did you even expect), you awakened. As F-rank. With none really usable skills. How pathetic.

"At least I'll get some money and eat well for once" - you think. How goddamn pathetic you are ...

So you go register. Not expecting anything, you can't afford shit anyway.

On your way back home you hear someone calling your name. There is this hyper guy, looking incredibly happy to see you. He knows you, you don't know him. Your visual memory is quite good you believe, but you can't remember him.

So this guy (stranger) starts chatting with you, asking about your current life. You entertain him, he happens to have quite a dongsaeng (goddamn you're jealous, but hey so was he). You tell him about your life (you think he's going to judge you), he tells you a bit about his own (he is trying to cheer you up).

Somehow, by the end of the day, you get to train at one of the top guilds in the country without asking, hell without actually being given a choice. Simply because this guy, Yoojin, says you deserve it (do you?). He even promises to lend you equipment worth more than everything you ever owned. Because you are someone of value (are you?). Somehow, you feel less pathetic now. You like that guy (still can't remember him though).

A few days later, when you are about to sign a slave contract, you see him again. Debts, him? Impossible. Going into dungeons? He can go anytime with the best bodyguards. What is he doing here? While talking about signing a contract himself (oh no, no no no) he takes yours in his hands. Rips it. The rest? Right out of a movie. He's like a hero, and he's your friend (apparently). He lends you A-rank item (who'd give one to a stranger?). You feel like crying. (You still don't remember him.)

You start the training, with the newest S-rank in the country. Yoojin's brother is there too. Scary people. Yoojin is scolding them like a mom would. They don't like you, no, the don't care about your existence at all. They are tolerating your presence because of Yoojin. And Yoojin is treating all of you the same (Why? Their worth and yours are completely different).

Yoojin is incredible too, he got a skill that made him priceless. Now, you are the only pathetic one around (he still treats you the same).

Your rank is too low to be hired as a hunter, so Yoojin lets you stay at his house as a servant. (He's too nice). You take care of the household, cook, sharpen knives, and search for the connection between the two of you. (He did so much for you, and you can't even remember him, gods you feel awful)

You can't find any. You ask your classmates and (ex-)friends, they don't remember him. You search the internet, you look into HIS life.

There is nothing. You were perfect strangers. You can't remember him, because that day at the Association was the first time you met him. He knew your name (how?). He treated you as a dear friend (why?). He told you that you were useful, valuable (he is surrounded by goddamn S-ranks). You are confused, why would he lie to you?

You continue cooking and sharpening knives. Yoojin looks as if what you made was the best food he ever ate. If nothing else, at least you are somehow useful. Seeing him enjoy what you made fills you with joy.

And then he gets kidnapped, and there is NOTHING you can do to help. They won't give you any information either. Because the only one who truly cares for you is Yoojin. (Why does he?)

Once he gets back, everything at home is the same. You cook and sharpen knives. Yoojin is busy. But still treats you like a dear friend. Sometimes he looks at you with a guilty expression, but he's not telling the truth (does it even matter?)

When you get the skill you can't help but cry. He is watching you, acting happy and surprised (he's a good actor, you know by now). You are not useless anymore. You can stand next to him with head held high. But, he is still not telling the truth.

The world continues and you learn how to make equipment (because getting the skill and knowing how to use it are different things) you hear him say

"when you leave-"

and the world stops. Leave? (NO) Where to? (NO) Does Yoojin no longer want you around (NO NO NO NO NO)

And then you realize that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if this is all started as fake. Doesn't matter if he lied. Yoojin is the only one to ever care. He is the only one to ever truly like (the useless pathetic bum you used to be).

Whether Yoojin is a saint (he is) or he is a liar (he is) it doesn't matter.

What you are feeling right now is real, and you like this guy. This guy that found you on a sidewalk during your darkest hour and made you into what you are now. This guy who always knew that you were valuable (how? It does NOT matter)

... as long as you can stay.