#that game is so bad but im kind of in awe of it anyway. david cage WHAT are you doing

[foxhoundpsychic]

the origami killer...

[surpriserose]

When you're not procrastinating on writing I'd love ur thoughts on the games!

okay i reached like 600 words written so

WHERE TO EVEN START???? this is gonna be long spoilers i guess but like the more relevant warning is for lots of bad shit. also mentions of car crashes, child death, rape, torture, police violence, gun violence, antisemitism, holocaust mentions, fascism, and drowning. not in too much detail but im not kidding when i say this is gonna get heavy.

Like generally david cage/quantum dream (his company) is racist specifically anti blank and anti indigenous, sexist, ableist like... just everything. I'm going to try not to speak over anyone here but its bad. Inside and out of the games. The company has an awful workplace environment that's been documented and it was one of those like... frat bro atmospheres. Which should tell you a lot about the differences between the games cage claims to make and the games he actually does. I'll get back to that with detroit become human, dbh.

omikron's not worth mentioning besides it being the first game and it being bad but having david bowie make the music for it???? that's some flash gordon and queen shit there

okay so after omikron was indigo prophecy/Fahrenheit. the different names are because there are different versions for north america and europe, with the european version having...sigh... interactive sex scenes. Thank fucking god those were removed. anyways, the story of indigo prophecy is that you play as multiple characters, the first being lucas cain whos not even a funny pathetic little meow meow he just sucks. The game starts and cain has been possessed in order to kill some random guy in a bathroom, he freaks out cleans up the scene and runs away. The other two characters are Carla valenti and tyler miles, the cops pursuing him. youll notice lots of cop characters in every game like all of them are varying degrees of copaganda. the game goes off the rails as lucas goes to see a magic blind woman who can tell him what happened too him, see lucas got possessed by some kind of nahua (but they're called aztecs) shaman? who yes...at some point turns into a panther :| and basically they want to take over the world using the indigo child, whos super special or something but she only gets introduced like thirty mintues away from the ending. also theres sentient ai who want to take over the world. also lucas has dragonball z powers.

Its a huge mess and its also really fucking racist. Like aside from the representation of the nahua you have a white va doing a racist chinese accent and wise old man shtick at one point, but its okay because that character...puts on the accent for customers? like cage thinks he did something really clever there but also carla does the same accent in a different scene so. carla also falls in love with lucas after meeting him like once and then they sleep together. cool. Tyler is also black and like...god... its so bad, hes just a collection of stereotypes and im like 95 percent sure hes voiced by a white guy. Also theres a spooky scary insane prisoners bit where you can get killed by scary CRaZy prisoners. so....yeah. Remember this when cage makes dbh a game like literally co ops civil rights era and blm terms and imagery and makes it about robots. Its the same guy who pulled this. but its okay since he says dbh isnt political...somehow.

so thats indigo prophecy but surely he got better right? Ehhhhhh critically yes, as much as i hate it critics loved both indigo prophecy and his next game, heavy rain. critical opinion has turned around after a few years, and i think they only got good reviews because theyre kind of considered groundbreaking in terms of cinematic games. or they used to be but then ppl realized how fuckin stupid and awful heavy rain was.

most people will tell you its biggest flaw goes like this, its a game that allows you to see the thoughts of the four player characters and it LIES to you. see the plot of heavy rain is ethan mars is a terrible dad. He lost one of his sons years before the plot trying to save him from getting run over and a few years later his other son gets taken by the origami killer. whos known for leaving origami dogs at the scene and taking children and then using the rain to well drown them. ethan is suspected of being the killer because he blacks out and then wakes up with origami in his hands. this was cut out of the game but the reason is in the car crash he ended up...forming a psychic link with the real killer but half of its still in the game as some kind of shitty red herring. But one of the player characters IS THE ORIGAMI KILLER, scott shelby, who never thinks about all the murders hes done even as he's investigating the murders. just literally going to all the parents of the kids hes killed like some kind of trauma tourist. also he kills someone while youre playing him and the game just... doesnt show it to you so. Like i guess he's trying to hide evidence but it would be nice if the player was allowed to KNOW that. The other characters are norman jayden, an fbi agent who just idk hes fine. if heavy rain came out a few years later he would be a tumblr sexyman thats pretty much all you need to know about him. oh he meets the only black character in the game i guess, a violent car thief called mad jack. yeah.

anyways the fourth person is madison paige. i hate her but its not her fault. she's probably the most sexist video game character in existence? like idk why people write think pieces about lara croft and bayonetta when madison is right there. see madison is a war reporter....i think...she doesn't rly seem like it. but shes introduced as having insomnia, which the game tells you by having you play a dream sequence where she walks around in her underwear, takes a shower, and then people break into her apartment and she wakes up just as they throw her on the bed :\ and that's just the start of awful scenes. she meets ethan and they have a okay its optional but its really super intended romance subplot while she heals him for no reason. Ethan's getting injured because the killer is basically putting him through saw:heavy rain trying to find out if hes a good dad or not, and if he succeeds he'll get his kids location. so madison starts investigating. idk she sucks and in her investigation she gets to go through two more attempted rape scenes because that's how david cage writes women. and yes... one of them starts off with her having to be sexy bait to get information out of a guy who later tries to assault and kill her. she just brushes all of this off tho. keep this in mind its another pattern. heavy rain sucks i think thats it

okay so cage moved on to beyond:two souls and he got elliot page and willem dafoe for some goddamn reason idk why people work with him. Elliot page had an awful time and i think sued the company. see he did mocap and acting for the main character jodie and they made textures for his breasts even though you never see them in game, which he did not consent to and there was no reason to make a fully nude model of his body. remember the work place issues i was talking about earlier? yeah.

anyways the story of beyond is jodie has special ghost powers because spoilers her twin died in the womb. its told non chronologically but for no reason except that cage doesnt know how to transition between scenes. seriously people just go places and then mention why theyre there every time. dafoe plays her father figure slash the guy studying her ghost powers because he wants to reach the ghost world and get his wife and daughter back. idk jodie is basically eleven from stranger things but this came out before that so cage didnt copy anyone....but stranger things did it way better.

basically jodie just does things for no reason until she has to save the world because dafoes character opened a ghost portal. one of those things is an attempted rape scene because jodie is a woman in a david cage game :\ at least theres some acknowledgement of trauma later but still, its not even a MAJOR scene it just HAPPENS. the other things she does inbetween being a carrie rip off are become a white savior and a cia agent. ill start with the first one

okay after running away from ah fuck it ties in with the cia thing give me a sec. okay jodie becomes a psychic cia agent because idk the government makes her she doesn't want to. she meets ryan another cia agent and her superior who is nothing but a jackass to her from day one and also hes a romance "option." quotation marks are there because even if you choose the other romance option you still have to go on a date with ryan and he kisses jodie during the climax no matter how many times she tells him to fuck off. yay. anyways jodie commits war crimes in africa, i want to say in an unnamed country featuring jodie bonding with a child soldier. and then is very surprised she committed war crimes because uh oh the cia tricked her oopsies and its rly unexpected that the cia would be involved in a regime change /s. anyways she jumps out of a plane and then is wanted for treason for being mad about doing war crimes with ryan, the guy whos okay with war crimes.

so that's where she's at when she meets oh my god i thought i just forgot it but they just dont have last names omg. okay she meets jay and his family, who are dine and GOD im sorry but this is the plot theyre haunted by a spirit they summoned to defend themselves from colonization. but it just kills indiscriminately. Jodie fixes it for them tho dont worry like im not kidding about the white savior part she just fixes everything with her ghost powers. jay is the other romance option. idk hes just there hes also kind of an ass at first but he has reason to be honestly jodie shows up out of nowhere and wont stop asking about their problems even when they tell her to stop. its... really bad. jays grandmother also dies in the process of fixing everything and they go and bury her in a sacred space and theyre just like hey jodie come on in which feels....really bad. like this is where im sure im over stepping but yeah. came out in 2013 btw.

also jodie goes back to work with ryan to stop the not chinese/north koreans from building a ghost portal because david cage made up a fictional asian country for the cia to fuck with. like its pretty blatant propaganda, like god, especially considering theres a scene where ryan is tortured and its just like guys do you not know how much america has condoned torture? hopefully that makes sense

there also another scary mental patient scene because cage is awful, its not as egregious as indigo prophecy but its another pattern in his work. I think...that's about it? beyond was also where critics started to turn around on cage FINALLY.

so this brings us to dbh where people decided they loved david cage and he was really smart again. now keep in mind when you read this, dbh came out in 2018.

okay dbh has 3 player characters. Kara, Conner, and Markus. Dbh takes place, obviously, in near future detroit and pretty much every major character is white except markus, amanda, and luther who...ill get to. The general story is...god...androids have been invented and its caused tension in america with androids....taking jobs from humans and causing the unemployment rate to skyrocket. At the same time androids are becoming deviant and therefore sentient...a lot of times killing their owners. Keep in mind...this game came out in 2018...its totally not political....but also the androids are literally kept in the back of the bus and markus' plot involves fighting for android freedom in a scene where you can literally chose the slogans for the movement, one of the options being LITERALLY I HAVE A DREAM and one of the logos you can choose being the black power fist. So its not political...but also its about race, using mostly white robots as a metaphor. you see the problem here? david cage is white but hes also literally from france if it wasn't obvious.

okay so markus starts out as basically this rich old painter guys caretaker and its a pretty amicable relationship, the guys even a father figure to markus as he literally calls him dad if he dies. anyways markus gets god...shot by the police for a crime he didnt commit and hes left for dead in a junkyard. I...its so bad i hate typing this out. anyways markus is basically android jesus and MLK or malcolm x, which ill get to. he literally comes back to life and goes to a safe haven for androids call jericho and basically takes over. The general idea of markus' plotline is as the leader and representative of the basically fuckin android civil rights movement is you have to choose between violence and pacifism. Hence the MLK or Malcolm X thing, its not accurate but that's kind of how they and the civil rights movement in general has been flattened and whitewashed by pop culture. Violence btw is associated with property damage which is literally not violent you don't even really hurt anyone. Although the game does force some...god... scenes where "bad apples" kill cops and i just like the problem is so glaring right? this is literally how right wingers and fascists view the blm movement like how come fans of dbh dont see this?? god im done talking about markus

so kara is the woman android so she gets to do basically nothing that affects the greater plot and take after a child instead. oh god im having flashbacks to karas story ill get to them. okay the main theme of karas story is human and android connections, but also the kid was an android the whole time and the game just lies to you again kara knew the whole time actually. so after rescuing alice, the kid, from her shitty not actually dad the two go on the run trying to get to canada. because canada doesnt allow androids so they can blend in. at one point the two of them go to this spooky resident evil mansion to get karas tracking chip removed but the guy tries to sell her for parts because hes basically sid from toy story. i only mention this because in this scene its possible for kara to gain an ally in luther, sid from toy story's android. luther is like fuckin 8 feet tall he's huge and hes black and before hes an ally that's used as an intimidating aspect of the scene. but really hes just the gentle giant trope and thats...kind of it. hes not even a romance option which kinds of sucks because it would really fit with cage's storylines? but luther is black and kara is white so its just not presented as an option. markus gets a romance option in north, a white android though, which feels really colorist. i could be speaking over people so im gonna stop there but yeah.

karas story gets worse though because they god...literally go to meet a black woman named rose who runs...an android underground railroad to canada. I am not kidding. Rose even mentions shes doing this because of the slavery parallels BUT ITS NOT POLITICAL THOUGH AND AHHHHHHH its just really really tone deaf and awful

okay heres where kara story kind of splits into things some players may or may not see. but if you fuck up enough late in the game kara, luther, and alice can get sent to...god...an android concentration camp because the government is really scared of deviancy and markus' movement pretty much no matter what you do. It is awful. what makes it worse is the androids also have specific clothing that includes a blue armband and a triangle symbol on the chest. so even if players dont see this specific scene which i can't really explain it but its so much worse than im getting into here i promise this shit is shit in your face the ENTIRE game. Cage just takes all these really traumatic historical events real people are STILL feeling the effects of and just slaps them all together and has the gall to pretend its not political at ALL. which leaves the question, is this supposed to be just pure entertainment? with all these awful things strewn about with no thought behind them besides...they would be fun? because if its not political than what do you want people to get out of it?

okay almost 3000 words in and im getting to the reason im writing this. connor my arch nemisis. He is, no question, the reason this game has had the staying power and fandom it has. because connor is a skinny white guy in a suit who you can reasonably pair with another attractive guy. he is the bane of my existence.

connor is a cop android, specifically built to investigate deviancy. hes a cop he gets a buddy cop story where he bonds with the guy who like 90 percent sure lost his son to androids. His name is hank, and yes since people wont stop mentioning it, he is mocapped and voiced by the same guy who does mr krabs. okay connors thing is at what point is an android a human, because he is constantly getting pulled becoming a deviant or following his program. it sucks its copaganda and connor sucks and i hate him i am trying so hard to remember what he even does besides look pretty i guess. this is where cages problem with getting from point a to point b are really apparent connor and hank just go places where crimes committed by androids happened and try to solve them. theres so much to talk about in like all of them but im gonna focus on the tracy case. because yes ive held off so far but cage did include sex androids.

okay so basically the story is these two sex worker androids became sentient and also theyre gay so they killed a customer to run away together. god. yes they fight you in heels and underwear. yes you are given the option to shoot them. yes they are the same model of android (tracies) so its really uncomfortable and playing into the lesbian doppelganger idea. yes if you shoot them later when you are trying to solve a puzzle you use one of their severed heads to talk to the other one. yes these are the only gay characters in dbh. i hate it. sure you dont HAVE to do the last one, but its an option and in a game with options you have to analyze ALL of them. which oh my god i will get to because one of the endings is literally so so so so so gross.

okay first step to talking about the ending. Connor investigates the guy who created the androids, kamski. he was taught by amanda, one of the other black characters and basically shes in connors head to get him to follow his programming and just be a cop and deal with god the android civil rights movement since its caused by deviancy. its really insidious people have written about the rise in the inclusion of black cops, gay cops, etc in copaganda and while amanda is not a cop she basically has the same role.

kamski is just shittier elon musk i dont care about him. but there is an ending where i have to care about him. see if you meet all the requirements when markus and connor meet and face off, connor will join the movement and as markus is speaking connor will shoot and kill him. and then its revealed deviancy is an outside force, created by kamski, a rich white guy. NOW THE IMPLICATIONS OF THIS ARE SO BAD. i hate to type this out but see, fascists believe that jewish people are ultimately behind black lives matter. See the idea that george soros is funding protestors. its baseless obviously and racist and antisemitic but thats literally this ending in a nutshell. a rich white guy behind the movement all along. most players wont get this ending but its still a part of the game its still something that needs to be analyzed.

this is all mostly from memory btw besides a few names i had to remember, so ive probably missed half the awful stuff in these games. these games are awful dont play them. the reason i know so much about them is because ive watched playthroughs and honestly? david cage lives rent free in my mind, im brave enough to admit it.

so when i see the dbh fandom running around its just like...what are you people doing? these games are awful and even if they werent racist, sexist, antisemitic MESSES they would still be awful. but david cage has become this kind of george lucas figure, people dont say no to him and after dbh hes a critical darling again, even with all of this shit. I'm not the only one whos written about it if i can find some articles i might make another post so you can read something thats a lot less rambling. this shit is in your face its not hidden its not subtext its text ALL of it and people have been pointing this out for years.

but people ignore it because connor is hot and hes white and you can ship him with people also hes just a nice sweet cop awww /s. like basically the conclusion is you can get a fanbase for literally anything if you include a hot white guy in a suit. not a particularly new take but yeah. neither is the take that david cage is a piece of shit. sorry this got so long like i have ranted about this SO much obviously and also...english major

[michaelmilkers]

Ignoring all the other dumb incorrect bullshit that you keep repeating that I don't have the time patience or want to correct my other question still stands. What the fuck else do you want in a game thats an allegory for horrible shit like this?? A game where you listen to awful people spout antisemitism. A game where you watch black folk get fucking lynched? A reenactment of the stonewall riots??? In your infinite fucking wisdom what in the fuck do you think shouldve been done when something like this is a perfectly valid topic to delve into. And no its not my favorite game dumbass shut up for a second and try not jumping to conclusions like you seem to love doing so much im just sick of listening to you criticize shit with no actual valid points other than "I think they did this wrong and no I will not elaborate on how they could've done it right because despite acting high and mighty I dont know shit about how to go about this stuff I just think this person who I hate did a bad job doing something I can't do" and would you mind backing up your claims of whatever his name is being a proven piece of shit other than him making a game with topics YOU don't think he did he did justice to? Go fucking touch grass im begging you

why do i have to tell game writers how to write good games? you literally just said i dont know how to do that. and i dont. i dont know how to write a game with an in-depth interesting and respectful allegory for racism so im not going to try. im literally just pointing out something really obvious and i’m not the first person to do that. maybe dont have the head writer and director for a story mirroring american slavery and the civil rights movement be a white guy from france, for starters? and nobody forced him to make a game about this kind of thing, he couldve just made a cool robot detective story and focused on the investigative gameplay as connor, which was the best part of the game anyway.

speaking of that white guy from france, are you… for real? david cage? david “in my games all women are whores” cage? david “quantic dream doesnt make games for fags” cage? david cage who was just in a lawsuit like two months ago for his company having a horrible, toxic, racist and misogynistic work environment? i’d provide sources if this weren’t literally like the third thing to come up when you google his name. im serious. do it now.

but in all seriousness like…. chill the fuck out dude. like holy shit. unfollow me if you dont like my takes. block me. draw sigils in the dirt to make my humors rot in my body or something. just stop screeching in my inbox and then telling me to touch grass.

[skribbz]

i know im sending u tons of these but ELLIE

Oh boy here we go

First impression

I actually didn’t know anything about TLoU before I played it except for it being a zombie game. Since zombies have always been a super special interest for me, I had to play it. So actually playing it was like being smacked in the face with emotions. 

But I didn’t even know about the existence of Ellie, so my first time seeing her was when Joel meets her. I thought she seemed cool, but a little abrasive. She did make me laugh though. 

Impression now

Oh god where do I even start. 

I’m not even exaggerating when I say Ellie helped me become who I am today. I related to her in so many ways. Not just in the way she's so nerdy, but also in how she treats others. She was just a kid who was let down by the world around her, yet she still wants to do what she thinks is best for everyone. She's sentimental, holding onto keepsakes from the people she's lost. She can have a bad attitude sometimes, but is just a complete sweetheart. She goes through so much, and even when Joel gives her the option to just go back home, she decides to keep going. 

Ellie came into my life when I needed a role model. The way she had gone through so much, but didn't let it break her soul, the way she always found a way to "endure and survive", meant so much to me at the time, and even now. She also helped me accept the fact that I wasn't straight. Seeing a character who I already admired so much, kissing another girl made me just break down crying. 

When they said that Ellie was going to be the main character of the second game, I cried again. I think the second game just really expands on the reasons I loved her in the first one. She still tries to do what she thinks is best. It's not always the right thing, and sometimes it's very much the wrong thing. But she has so much guilt over Joel, yet still loves him so much she's willing to do whatever it takes to give him the justice she thinks she deserves, even if she knows it's not at all what he would want her to do. (There's so much more to her thoughts and actions in the sequel of course, but I feel like this is one of the most important ones.) It's just like the first game where she's willing to go to any ends to do what she thinks is right, no matter how much it may hurt her in the process. 

I think in the end she has realized that her life means more than just being the cure. Her life matters just because she’s alive, is loved, and loves others, and that message means a lot to me, and I’m sure to many others, too. 

I think Ellie is such a wonderful character, and one of the most well written characters I've ever seen in any media. She really changed my life, and because of that she is my favorite character ever. 

Favorite moment

HOW am I supposed to choose just one. 

Does the entire winter section count? It shows much she loves Joel, and how strong she has become by that point, and how determined she is to survive. She sees just how truly awful some people in the world can be, and despite it she still wants to do whatever she can for the cure.

It’s our first look into what would become a major theme of the second game. While David’s town is an enemy to Joel and Ellie, and we as players hate them, they were doing what they thought was best to survive. Cannibalism isn’t right by our standards, but that’s because we haven’t been pushed to that point. But would we be willing to turn to it if we were pushed that far? Is it more acceptable to kill innocent people to feed a whole community that’s depending on you, or is it more acceptable to just let all of those innocent lives that are depending on you die?

I think we can all agree on one thing though. David is a piece of shit and deserved to be chopped up into teeny pieces. 

Idea for a story

I have many ideas. But I'll go with where I think her story can go from here, AKA my TLoU3 idea. 

The story starts 12 or so years later. Putting JJ around 13. Dina, Ellie and Abby 32-33. Lev around 25. Tommy and Maria probably late 50s-early 60s

Ellie is back in Jackson. She works her ass off doing whatever manual labor she can because all she wants to do is just work herself into exhaustion. She's dealt with her trauma and she’s in a better place mentally now. Now her reasons for shutting everything out is that she’s too scared to try and really reconnect. She wants companionship but is afraid of the pain of losing it all again.

The exception is when she has JJ. He is still the light of her life. She takes him hunting and camping and plays video games with him and they geek out over comics. She has taught him to draw. She wants to teach him guitar like she promised, but hasn’t been able to yet. 

The only time she sets foot outside of Jackson is with JJ.

Dina is of course doing something that uses her skills. Maybe the lead electrician at the dam. They've kept JJ very innocent. Obviously he knows of the infected, and has seen his moms kill them before, but he doesn’t know just how bad it really is, he’s never seen another human die.

Her and Ellie are amicable. They are happy to be co parenting jj but there's nothing between them (for now). 

Maria holds a lot of guilt. Over sending Joel and Tommy out that day, over not giving Ellie and Dina help in Seattle, which got Jesse killed, over letting Tommy get as bad as he did after Seattle. She blames herself for the way Ellie is. She tries to spend time with Ellie, but Ellie is very elusive when she wants to be. She adores JJ though. That's her little great nephew. His auntie is the leader of the whole town and he uses that to his advantage every chance he gets. And she lets him.

Tommy has a little guilt. He doesn’t know Abby is alive, Ellie only ever told him she “finished things” and didn’t talk to him much after that. But he sees how she is a complete mess and lost her fingers. He knows that guitar was special for Ellie, plus any kind of disability is a huge disadvantage in their world. Dina doesn’t let JJ near him. JJ doesn't understand why and no one will tell him

Tommy and Maria never worked out their differences and have stayed separated, partly because of their guilt toward what happened with Ellie. They cared about her like she was their own and they both let her down

Jackson is now huge. They’ve made contact with other settlements, and have trade routes. But Maria is getting older and the town is getting too much for her to run on her own. Tommy is getting up there in age as well, and despite his injuries he still does patrols. But alone. He’s not actively trying to get killed, but he isn’t always as careful as he knows he should be. 

Story starts out and you're playing as Tommy on patrol. He gets ambushed by a small group of people. And lo and behold Abby (and Lev) is there. Tommy is shocked when he finds out who it is, and he asks if she came to finish the job she started. She says no they tracked him since he left the town and were waiting to get him alone because she has news for him. The fireflies have rebuilt stronger than ever and now they’re back out for the cure and are coming for Ellie, because she is the only known source, but also as a form of revenge for what Joel did all those years ago, destroying what the Fireflies once were. They were able to get there first because they only brought a few people and set out before the main squad. Tommy asks why he should believe her, and she says that Ellie saved her life years ago and it's the least she could do to pay her back. (just like. Assume that there was enough info stored with the fireflies that Abby could work out who Ellie is). To keep Tommy from attacking or following him, they knock him out and untie him then leave. 

Control switches back to Ellie who is doing her chores around town. You get to nail fences, chop wood, and carry hay bales. Fun. Later that night, as Ellie is getting home, standing on her porch, Tommy rolls up and confronts Ellie about Abby being alive. They get into a huge fight and Ellie tells Tommy that he fucked up her life. It's his fault she lost Dina. His fault she only gets to see jj when Dina allows it, his fault Jesse was killed. And its his fucking fault Joel died.

He storms off. But then Ellie notices J standing on the street coming to stay the night. She had forgotten this was her night with him. He’d been told his whole life that moms had a peaceful break up, and that dad and grandpa Joel died being heroes, but now he’s upset about what he's heard so he runs back home to Dina. 

That night Ellie is woken up by fighting in Jackson. She runs out to try and find what's going on. All she can get is that fireflies are attacking. She eventually finds out that some travelers shot Maria and a fight broke out. Ellie fights through the town to Maria. She's injured with a gunshot in the arm, but alive still and kicking some ass. She tells Ellie that fireflies came asking for her, and would leave peacefully in return. She told them no and they shot her. Maria says she’ll be okay and tells Ellie to go find JJ and get him to safety. 

She fights through to the other side of town. Because of the commotion, infected have broken in so there’s humans and infected running around killing. She gets to Jesse's house and JJ is hysterical, Dina is holding him down and he's like screaming and crying. His grandpa fought off a firefly who was trying to get in their home and was shot and killed. It hits Ellie that this is all her fault. People are dying because of her again. Anyway she tells dina and robin that they need to leave. Dina says she's not going anywhere without Ellie. Ellie wants to stay and fight, but JJ is more important right now. So the 4 of them sneak out and near the gates they meet up with Tommy. He’s helping get people out and sending them to one of the patrol lookouts that is secure and can fit everyone. 

Ellie sends Dina, Robin and JJ off. Ellie gives JJ Joel's revolver and tells him to keep mom and grandma safe for her. She goes back to Tommy and the two get back to Maria. When they are very close to her, an infected ambushes them and Tommy gets bit. They get to Maria who is losing blood fast and doesn't look well. After a lot of arguing from Ellie, the pair decide to stay. They tell Ellie they’re old now. Maria wont last long with her wounds, and tommy has no chance of surviving his. They apologize to Ellie for the way things turned out and how much she has meant to them all these years. They give her all their ammo except for one bullet in each of their guns, because that's all they need now. Ellie begs them to come along, and she’ll figure something out for them. But they eventually convince her to go. Ellie leaves crying, and Maria and Tommy maybe get a cute moment before cutting back to Ellie. 

Ellie makes it back to where the survivors are and is depressed that there's way less than she was expecting. JJ has cried himself to sleep and Dina notices Ellie is acting strange and pulls her away to ask her. Ellie tells her what happened and Dina holds her while she cries. It's the first time anyone has really been physically affectionate with her in a long time so Ellie clings to her as she lets it all out

The last survivors decide that Jackson isn’t safe. It's too damaged, filled with infected, and no one can figure out what the fireflies were doing. Ellie can't bring herself to say anything about it. 

The next morning, everyone wakes up and is discussing what to do. JJ is still inconsolable. Ellie decides to take him away from the group to get some fresh air. She tells him to hold on to Joel's revolver. They chat and JJ asks what happened to auntie Maria and Tommy. She decides to be honest with him. She expects him to cry, but is shocked to see him become angry instead. He basically swears revenge for them and for his grandfather. This of course stirs up a lot of very negative thoughts in Ellie, but she decides to let him grieve in his own way for now. 

That’s everything I have written out in detail for now. But the main idea would be Ellie becoming a leader to the few remaining survivors as they make contact with the other settlements that Jackson is allied with. She would take responsibility for all of these lives. They would be her reason for fighting now. 

Over the course of the game, Abby would come back and her and Ellie would be forced to team up. There’s no more animosity between the two though, they’re both over it and don’t want to go back down that road. Over the course of the story they would come to understand each other’s actions. They wouldn’t become friends, but they can at least rely on each other. 

JJ would find out that Abby is the person responsible for Joel and Jesse’s death, and she came from the group that killed his grandfather, Tommy and Maria. He’d go into a rage and try to attack her and Ellie would have to hold him back. He wants to know why Ellie is defending the person who hurt everyone they loved. Ellie would have to finally tell him the whole story, and try to keep him from giving into his anger and sadness like she did in the second game. She won’t let her son become like her. She wants him to stay her innocent baby boy, but she knows that’s just not possible in their world. 

Other stuff that I have yet to flesh out:

More about Dina’s backstory. Or at least her last name. 

Lev being a big brother to JJ.

Dina and Ellie falling in love all over again as Dina sees Ellie doing so much for the rest of the community. It’s gonna be emotional.

Ellie teaching JJ how to play guitar, and tearfully singing Future Days to him.

Unpopular opinion

I’m not sure of what people’s opinions on her are. I know most people love her and anyone who doesn’t isn’t entitled to an opinion. 

I guess one is I’m not a fan of her farm hairstyle. Her Seattle look was just so cute. Why did you do that to your head, girl. 

Favorite relationship

Dina of course.

I feel like Dina represented what Ellie could have if she wasn’t stuck in the past. Joel represented her violent past, and her traumas. Dina represented her future, her home, her family. Ellie was so stuck in the past, that she couldn’t see the future standing literally right in front of her. 

It’s a great representation of how she holds onto the people she loves, but also how PTSD works. The past keeps coming back to haunt her. 

Favorite headcanon

I hc her as autistic! I kinda feel bad because everyone else hcs her as having ADHD. But I’m autistic so I say she is too *sunglass emoji*. 

Why I think she’s autistic: 

Obviously her special interests would be space and dinosaurs, and the way she talks about them reminds me of how I get when people let me infodump about my SIs.

The way she plays with her fingers looks hella like stimming to me. In fact, that’s one of my stims!

Her interest in art and music.

Her interest in general nerdy stuff like comics and video games. 

She collects cards, and collecting is a big autistic trait.

The way she’s sort of untidy and cluttered, yet labels all of her boxes of shit. The ordered mess is such an autistic thing.

[tfw-no-tennis]

ani....morphs.....

ok so picking up after the david trilogy, which hit hard as FUCK, we have book 23, which basically was a semi truck that ran over my corpse, jesus christ, they really followed up the david trilogy w/all that....

23 was so so good and also painful. its the culmination of a lot of tobias’s characterization in the series thus far and also we finally get the reveal we’ve been waiting for about elfangor....ooooh man 

and there was a lot of painful stuff in this book but the worst imo was tobias wondering if it were possible that somebody wanted him and would take care of him, only to have it all come crashing down in the worst way when it turned out aria was visser three in morph, ouch. 

that was so brutal augh. and when he figured it out and just crash landed and kept thinking about how he wanted to die and how he was stupid to think he could have a home...bro get these kids some THERAPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

so yeah that book was absolutely brutal but also so good...and it further fleshed out the animorphs working as a near-flawless team, w/the whole setup of tobias meeting w/the lawyer being so airtight and well-planned 

also more free hork bajir!! its cool that there's stuff happening w/them offscreen, I like that 

I literally had to take a break from reading the books bc the david triology + 23 was like so much, and also bc the olympics were on and all my time got dedicated to watching those, but then I opened 24, not sure what to expect, and BAM it was the helmacrons lmaoooo

I don't even remember the helmacrons but ig a lot of people hate them? lmao so that whole reputation preceded the book and I was like oh wow time for a change in tone

which wasn't wrong but also I liked that book?? I was never bored, even tho the whole thing was patently ridiculous and also had very little bearing on the overarching story

but I think it would be a standout if it were a TV episode w/a good budget - the visuals were amazing even in text, and I can imagine all the cool shrinking/growing/cellular stuff would be WICKED cool visually (ideally 2d animation but an ant man-esque live action adaptation wouldn't be terrible if they had the budget for it)

whatever let me dream. so yeah I didn't hate the helmacron book even tho the helmacrons themselves were...sure something. lmao I think they come back? that should be interesting

next book is the arctic one, we have yet another alien of the week style adventure - I liked this one too, it felt like more plot-y stuff happened since they destroyed the base, and marco’s POV is always fun 

I do find it funny/interesting how sometimes when the animorphs do something - like in this book, destroying that base in the arctic - it doesn't really seem to impact the yeerks much/it doesn't get brought up much after that. and then other things like them destroying the ground-based kandrona get mentioned a lot (that example is understandable tho bc that WAS a big deal). its just hilarious to me how blowing up entire building complexes has become so routine that it isn’t even worth mentioning at this point

Also I adore when they meet other random people/kids and are chill w/them, like w/that kid they met in the rain forest earlier on w/the time travel 

the descriptions of the brutally cold weather were great. I hate the cold so I was like oof this is a nightmare lmao

also ig that was the first ghostwritten book and I did kinda notice it was slightly different than usual? maybe? I could be imagining it tho 

okay but book 26 tho...BOOK 26. bruh 

that was SO good and I really didn’t know what to expect - but when we finally revisited Jake’s dream w/crayak I knew it was gonna be good (but I didn’t expect it to be a chess game war epic..!)

basically I loved it. SUCH a good Jake book - I really appreciate his character now as opposed to when I was 10 and often overlooked him (sorry jake).

similarly, when I was a kid and read these I sympathized a lot w/the chee and felt bad for them towards the end of the series when they had to get more involved in the war (genuinely don’t remember what they even do but ik I felt bad) 

but now I've basically 180′d and I'm like damn those chee sure are hypocrites huh. 

like they could solve So many of the animorphs problems but their stringent adherence to nonviolence leads to them actively getting in the animorphs way sometimes? and obviously pacifism is a complicated topic, but in this case it also intersect w/the whole ‘child soldier’ thing, and as beings who are insanely old and wise, the chee probably shouldn't just leave all the dirty work to a bunch of literal middle schoolers

aaaaanyways. there’s so much I love about this book. the iskoort! they were sure something. and the ‘plot twist’ that they are actually 2 beings, the Isk and the Yoort - and the Yoort are essentially Yeerks - that slapped. the symbiosis of it all! 

I loved the part where they all realize what this means, that this is why Crayak wants the iskoort destoryed - because someday the yeerks might come across them and realize parasitism is not the only way. I love it! 

alas I don’t recall the iskoort returning in the story (but also my memory is terrible so who knows?) but still that would be cool

basically I feel like this is the book where Jake Truly comes into his own as a leader, in every sense. he outmaneuvers Crayak, and even the ellimist, who’s yanking them around in his own way

the scene where jake shoves the howler off the cliff and jumps off and morphs and acquires the howler...that was fantastic and tense. 

also the murder is definitely becoming more overt. I mean, it has been for a while, but it isn’t really pointed out as much anymore. oof

more on the chee - as Jake points out in this book, and other characters point out in other books - the chee could have saved the pemalites, but instead just stood by while their creators were slaughtered. on the other hand, jake says, what do the chee do AFTER they’ve killed the howlers - where to point them next? when is the end of their violence? 

buuuuut also standing by while atrocities occur is pretty damning, as is frequently mentioned in this series - from the very beginning, when marco initially doesn’t want to get involved in the war at all, and the other animorphs basically tell him that turning his back on the war and acting like he doesn’t even know it’s happening would be immoral and cowardly (which imo this reaction helps to push marco in the direction he ends up going, but I digress) - this topic comes up again in 19 when cassie quits the team and rachel is upset bc she sees it as cassie elevating her own feelings above the greater good (as in, as long as cassie feels good about how she acts, it doesn’t matter how much preventable evil the yeerks are committing while she turns away). etc etc. but that’s essentially what’s happening w/the chee - even tho they help w/intel, the lack of any sort of Action on their part means that they’re essentially allowing awful things to happen when they could prevent them. this is rambly but basically...animorphs deals so much in grey areas, and the chee are noticeably black and white in their actions, despite falling, in a meta sense, in an extremely grey area. its such good, thought provoking writing!

anywayssss I keep talking about the chee lmao what else was there. oh YEAH jake and cassie kissed for the first time awww that was super cute 

and ofc immediately marco teases them as asks jake if he’s gonna kiss him next, and all I can say is...marco is a bicon 

also I love the background worldbuilding w/the iskoort, how they have all these groups and guilds and stuff - its not dwelled on much, which actually works really well to give the world/species a sense of lived-in realness 

okay oh man and the reveal at the end that the howlers were just like...children who thought the whole thing was a game...AUGHH man that’s sooo fucked 

like, when jake morphs the howler and has rachel ready to knock him down in grizzly morph if he gets out of control due to the howler’s murderous instincts, and he morphs to find that the howler is...playful, like a dolphin morph. SUCH a good fucked up sense of dawning horror there 

and the fact that as far as I can tell the chee KNEW this, but wanted revenge anyways, so they let the animorphs assume that the howlers were Evil On Purpose

also I love smaller moments, like jake seeing that ax is ashamed for briefly running away during one battle w/the howlers, and then entrusts him w/an important task bc he knows that ax will see that as redemption - and when everyone thought jake was dead and were so happy when he wasn't (they all love each other so much im gonna cry about these child soldiers augh)

basically that book was so good

man one thing I absolutely love is that the longer the series goes on the more obvious it is that andalites, despite inventing morphing technology, barely use it themselves 

like, most of the andalite characters we see barely morph. its kind of a last resort to them, as they’re already plenty dangerous in their regular forms 

meanwhile for the animorphs, that’s all they have to fight with. that’s their only weapons against the yeerks, and its so fun to see them use the power in so many varied ways, and so creatively, while the andalites have barely scratched the surface of their own technology

its also interesting to contrast against the yeerks who start out w/absolutely no technology, and the andalites share some but not all of their technology w/them...its too bad that morphing technology was just starting out cause that would’ve been interesting

like imo a lot of the conflict w/the yeerks could’ve been avoided if they could just nothlit into better forms - of course, there’d still be plenty of yeerks who want to go start wars or w/e, just like pretty much any species in the series, but a lot of yeerks would probably be like ‘yeah I'm good’ and just chill out as nothlits

also people online love to talk about how humans are alienfuckers and would definitely have sex w/sentient aliens and whatnot, and while I'm not saying that's untrue, its just funny bc in animorphs the truest alienfuckers are definitely the andalites

as of the hork-bajir chronicles, we now have a second instance of an andalite morphing another species to be in an inter-species alien romance (and eventually have kids) 

speaking of, I don’t think I’ve talked abt the hork bajir chronicles yet??? even tho I read it a while ago lmao 

HBC was great...I honestly haven’t really run into an animorphs book I’ve actually disliked at this point, I’m sure it’ll come w/all the ghostwriting and whatnot, but I’ve liked at least some aspects of every book

anyways HBC was great, and it’s funny bc I remember that I read this book as a kid, and yet rereading it now I didn’t remember a single bit of it lmaooo

I really liked the framing device of the free hork bajir telling this story to tobias. I also liked how we know from the beginning that this story wont have a happy ending - we know all the hork bajir end up enslaved by the yeerks, but it’s still somehow hopeful at the end? I think this is largely due to the framing device tbh. 

also I love toby, and I love that the First free hork bajir named their kid after tobias ;_; 

and oooh mannn I LOVED the different POVs from this book. all the characters were so interesting! aldrea was fascinating - I really like the increasingly negative view of the andalites that the readers are getting, all while maintaining the sense that they aren’t like, actively evil, just that they have their issues - like aldrea’s arrogance, and the general andalite arrogance which lead to the loss of the hork bajir. also, who knew andalites had their own brand of sexism? Ls

I did like getting a female andalite tho, that was cool. and dak was really cool, he was such a good, compassionate character who was able to maintain his morals in an interesting way throughout the story

and VISSER THREE...or should I say esplin 9466, because he’s not visser 3 yet...getting his ‘origin story’ was excellent - I really like how we’re learning about visser 3 backwards - we start off the series w/him as the main villain, and he’s campy and menacing, and then we see him in the andalite chronicles as a power-hungry sub-visser trying to climb the ranks and eventually getting alloran as a host, and then back even further here, w/the start of his focus on the andalites and the beginning of his ambition. its been very cool and interesting to see

plus, the beginning of the yeerks as we know them! seerow! alloran! it’s a party and nobody is having a good time, except for some of the yeerks. 

I like how it’s pretty obvious that the andalites are well-meaning with their interactions w/the yeerks, but go about it the wrong way - they give them enough technology that the yeerks realize there’s a whole world out there to experience, and then they blockade the yeerks on their planet and tell them they can’t leave. nnnnot the best approach imo

again, as I said above, I’m interested in how things could’ve gone if the andalites had given the yeerks morphing technology early on - could a lot of the conflict have been avoided, or would it have been worse? the yeerks seem pretty evil in this book, immediately jumping to enslave anyone they can. otoh we hear from esplin that not all yeerks like having host bodies, and find it overwhelming, preferring to swim around in the yeerk pool as a slug - I assume as host bodies became more available this type of thinking was probably stamped out in yeerk society or w/e, but there are a lot of interesting what-ifs in the situation 

I loved the scene where esplin first experiences having a host, and immediately knows he can’t go back. there are a bunch of great sensory descriptions, and it’s a nice scene to pinpoint as a foundational moment for the visser three in the current story, who spent a lot of time and energy getting what he sees as the best possible host body, an andalite

I find it interesting how much visser three clearly respects the andalites, even while constantly deriding them. and you can see the origins of that here as he immediately focuses in on the andalites, working to become an expert on them in order to make himself useful enough to move thru the ranks

another thing I like is how esplin seems a lot more crafty and ambitious than the visser three from modern times - I would guess that reaching his goal (andalite host body) and being given all that power was detrimental, playing on his weaknesses instead of his strengths. basically, I don’t think it’s ooc or anything, I can see how HBC-esplin became animorphs-esplin, especially w/TAC in between

as for seerow...poor dude. you really do have to feel for him, because you get the sense he really did just want to be kind to the yeerks, but it was borne from a place of pity, and he (and the other andalites) consistently held too much power over the yeerks for the species relations to ever be truly equal and functional 

AUGH I have so many thoughts about alien space politics. omg. I need to talk about the actual story lmao

so yeah I also feel for aldrea, she had a rough time, watching her entire family die and being thrown into a hopeless war

and then the andalite council or w/e not listening to her bc she's a girl AND seerow’s daughter...oof

also, I really really liked the running theme of the andalites - specifically aldrea - looking down on the hork bajir as ‘simple’ and constantly underestimating them, especially dak

and I like how this is portrayed as a bad attitude for aldrea to have, and she still remains and interesting and sympathetic character even while having obvious flaws. it’s about being 3-dimensional baby!

and oh man I love that dak realizes that aldrea looks down on him, and his entire species, but he can see that that’s how the andalites are, and it all connects back to the beginning of the story w/the yeerks, bc the andalites looked down on the yeerks and treated them with pity and kept them pinned under their proverbial thumb ‘for their own good’ and look how that turned out 

but dak is wise and kind enough to not hate aldrea for this, even acknowledging when she’s using him, but not pushing her away because he recognizes good in her too - and she ends up changing, partially because of his faith in her

and I feel like it can all be compared to that scenario of like - a hypothetical creature that lives in a 2D world suddenly being thrust into a 3D world, and comprehending what its seeing, and understanding that there’s so much more out there outside of the flat lines of its world - and then its dropped back into 2D-land with the knowledge of all the stuff its missing out on, and no way to get back to it or explain it to anybody else

I loooove that ‘trope’ or w/e you wanna call it, and it’s done beautifully here w/the yeerks - whos the say they wouldn't have been fine in their pool swimming around; as esplin said, a lot of the yeerks were terrified of having a host, it was only from the andalites’ perspective that their lives were sad and pitiful, and the andalites showed them what the world could be like, and then said ‘no, you can’t travel the stars like we do, you have to stay here on your planet and do what we say.’

and then again, w/the hork bajir - dak talks about how, even though he drinks up the knowledge that aldrea gives him, in the end it might have been better to just have lived peacefully, not knowing what was in the sky or the Deep - as aldrea says: “It was too late for Dak: he knew that the stars were not flowers.” 

plus the hork bajir having to go from a completely peaceful species who don’t even understand the concept of violence, to a bunch of soldiers fighting a war...oof 

basically everyone in this story uses the hork bajir. the yeerks use them as hosts, the andalites use their planet as a convenient place to dump seerow and then take their sweet time coming to help, and the arn created them as means to stabilize the planet, but block them off from their society and refuse to help when the yeerks come

like, the arn modifying themselves to be un-infestable by the yeerks and then being enslaved for physical labor instead? oof guys. if they had teamed up w/the hork bajir resistance things might have gone better, but probably not 

more on aldrea - throughout the story I was always thinking ‘how am I supposed to see her? as a good person, or as a bad person?’ 

as a POV character, especially a ‘good guy’ andalite, you just start off automatically thinking of her as a good person, but as the story goes on, she starts getting lost in revenge and begins using dak and the hork bajir, and you’re left wondering if this is a story about her slide into darkness, and then towards the end of the story her character development culminates in her making the decision to stay w/the hork bajir, and the be with dak, and that’s about when I went ‘ohhh right this is animorphs so every character is pretty much gonna be grey’

I feel like that moral grey-ness was on full display w/aldrea, and I really enjoyed that. I love so much when characters who are good do bad things, for good or bad reasons, especially in media like animorphs that’s aimed at kids. it’s so compelling. 

oof, and the ending when aldrea convinces dak to mobilize the hork bajir and teach them violence...and dak asks her if she’s ever killed another andalite, and she’s horrified, and says of course she hasn’t, and he says that that’s what she’s asking him, and all the hork bajir, to do - to kill their own people, even if they are being controlled by the yeerks. biiiig oof. I love that dak can keep up w/aldrea and her andalite supremacy attitude - it seems that the non-andalite characters who get along best w/the andalites are the ones who wont take their bs 

what else happened....oh my god how could I forget about alloran, and his quantum virus. oooof. I like how we find out about alloran in parallel to visser three, in the same backwards way - in animorphs he’s the tragic host of visser three, in TAC he’s the disgraced but still semi-respected war-prince who becomes the first ever andalite controller, and here he’s the guy who decides to commit some war crimes because, hey, we haven’t tried that yet 

but yeah that was fucked up, I love it. I’ve said it before I think but I like that alloran isn’t some perfect martyr tragically taken by the yeerks - it’s a lot more compelling that he’s a very flawed person who was taken as a controller partially due to his own bloodthirstiness. 

but yeah, the part where aldrea morphs alloran and ‘sneaks’ into that room was great. aldrea’s dedication to disposing of the virus is a great indicator of her character development - it really feels like the straw that broke the camels back w/re: to the andalites not being what she thought they were, w/their tardiness coming to help the hork bajir planet and the way her father was treated being the precursors to this realization. it all culminates nicely in aldrea saying ‘fuck this actually’ and nothlit-ing into a hork bajir.

and it’s really tragic but realistic that even though aldrea and dak end up seeing eye to eye at the end and getting together, the virus ends up being released anyways (and fails in its objective to stop the yeerks from using the hork bajir - the whole thing was p much a lose-lose situation oof), and aldrea and dak still die fighting a hopeless war 

but then we have the free hork bajir on earth, including toby, who, like tobias, has andalite ancestry, but no DNA to show for it - I like that they have that connection as well as tobias being her namesake

so yeah I enjoyed that one and its many-layered themes

WOW this got long uuuuuhhh ok I think i’ll leave this one off here. at the time I’m actually finishing the writing and editing, I’m on book 35 lol so I have some backlogging to do. never fear, I have a lot to say....

[ziracona]

Please don't take this as offensive (im sorry if i come across that way, i hope not) but i really wouldn't take someone like Yourself to be a Fates fan. Fates and Fgo just tends to be filled with a lot of uh, Problems? For a lack of better words? The fandom and the content is just really REALLY weird to me. There's also like a ton of shows(games?), so im starting to wonder if I just started off on the wrong foot? Am i missing something?

​I am a being of many interests. Lol, you’re good though. I very much get it.

Fate is...a weird mix? I don’t even think I can call myself a proper ‘Fate fan,’ because while I collect secondhand info like a lint roller takes lint, I’ve barely experienced any of even just the shows (which is an intentional choice). You are actually correct both times; it is both games and shows. And more. It started as a multi-path lite novel, which got adapted into anime, and more. There’s the big shows, which mostly connect to the original novel, plus a bunch of stories set in that expanded universe, in show game and more formats. I have no idea what you started on, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was bad, because Fate tends to be a roulette wheel. Basically, the short version is that the reason for this is Fate swaps out like their whole creative team for every show and game and thing, and every fuckin /arc/ of Fate Go, so the quality will vary from “Huh. That was...something” to “Oh my god that was a waste of so many hours wtf that was /god/awful” to “oh worm??! This is kinda fun” to “i-is this a spiritual experience?”

So they’re all kind of connected but also not really? I can’t think of a good thing to liken it to, because it’s a weird way to do something, but even many stories with the exact same characters are written or adapted by completely different teams, so they’re kind of all connected in name more than anything else? It’s very much a consume and take or leave only specifically what you want kind of thing.

I can’t speak to the fandom because I’m not really...in it? And have only ever gone into the tags for gifs. But I would not be surprised if a lot of the most vocal ones are terrifying. It seems like that’s often the case in many fandoms regrettably.

Tbh I can’t honestly speak to most Fate media. The only game I have played is Go, the little gatcha phone game. Honestly, anybody who played/plays Fate Go too and wants to roast me for it has free rein. It’s ridiculous, and goofy, and often stupid, sometimes straight up terrible, but also sometimes kind of fantastic. Florence Nightengale tried to chop off all my limbs when she met me and beat a president up to ‘fix’ him. King David pulled the sickest tactical finess in the history of warfare. The game made fun of everyone who takes shipping too seriously and roasted them all in an event which gave me great screenshots for future use:

It’s a super mixed bag, which is sometimes actually fantastic, and sometimes so bad that I am like “I...want to commit assault against whoever just did the art alone.” But I just kind of skip the downticks and stick around for arcs that get the good writers. It’s goofy, but some of it has made me genuinely happy, and that’s extremely valuable to me right now. (On a good arc) It’s like, the right mesh of funny and serious and goofy and low key but clever for me to get really into but in like consistently a light and non-stressful way.

The only anime I have actually watched is Unlimited Blade Works, which I thought was phenomenal and it wrecked me as a human being. It’s also very beautiful and has some of the best animated fight scenes in anything I have seen ever, and I would wholeheartedly recommend it. I can’t speak to any of the others. And I don’t want to watch any of the other OG paths and no one can make me. But UBW lives rent free in my soul. I mean:

If you were a normal human being, you will probably watch this and go “Some of that was confusing, but it was pretty neat. 8/10 stars.” If you wanted to sincerely be a superhero as a kid or god forbid are like me and still haven’t entirely given up on that dream deep down, it’ll be a 13/10 but it will also crush your soul and leave it in little glass shards. Worth it tho. 13/10, would rewatch a 5th time.

Anyway there was your long and unnecessary breakdown of me and fate. The TLDR is I’m actually just the “I have approximate knowledge of many things” guy from Adventure Time and know very little comprehensively. Go is stupid, but the times it’s great are worth the times I want to die to me personally, as a phone game. And UBW is high art and it hurt me in a way that was worthwhile because it made me feel truly heard even if in a painful way by at least one other person. And also it’s just kind of a killer of a story.

[jubilantwriter]

Jaspvid Week 2020: Day 3 - Summer

fuck it at this rate i’m just gonna be posting late never get a night shift job y’all

(AO3)   @jaspvid-week​

You Can't be Traumatized if You Don't Go to Summer Camp

Summary:  They met by an ice cream truck as children.  And since then, it’s been a tradition for them to meet up and buy ice cream together.

Word Count: 5088

Jasper loves summer.  Summer means no school, no homework, and no teachers to be bummed out by!  Since he's eleven now, he thinks that maybe his mom will let him go to the community pool more often, since he can totally swim by himself without her worrying that he'll go to the deep end and drown.  

He's too rad for that anyways!  And since summer vacation started, he's been having fun watching the Saturday morning cartoons and hanging out with his friends whenever they want to come over and play.  With the heat bringing it's A game this year though, more and more of his time is spent just lounging inside his house, trying to beat the heat with his mom's rotating fan.

In fact, here he sits, mouth wide open as he makes a long "ahhhh" sound at it, giggling as the fan messes with his voice.  Although summer isn't always about having fun and playing with his mom's fan and going swimming at the pool.  He keeps his ears perked as he waits for a special kind of song to start making its rounds around the block.

And sure enough, the musical notes of a familiar tune rings throughout the neighborhood, and Jasper is already making a mad dash to his mom for some sweet, sweet cash.

"Mom!"  He waves his hands back and forth to get her attention.  "Mom, the ice cream truck!"

His mom smiles, having already heard the tune and pulling her wallet out of her purse.  "Alright, hold on."  A few dollars bills are handed over as Jasper grabs them eagerly.

"Rad!"

"But only buy one, okay?  Dinner's coming up soon."

"Okay!"  He dashes out the door just in time to see the ice cream turn the corner onto his street.  "Hey!"  He waves his hand in the air, flagging down the ice cream truck as it continues past his house.  It slows to a stop as he chases after it when he notices another kid peek his head out.

Red hair.

Green eyes.

And the scariest frown he's seen.

He smiles as he waves at his neighbor.

"Hi, Davey!"

"Don't call me that!"  David yells as he slams his front door shut, disappearing back into his house.

"Jeepers, man."  Normally, all the other kids would feel put out by having their neighbor slam a door shut at them, but Jasper was used to it.  It was pretty rude yeah, but as long as Jasper kept his distance, David wouldn't start throwing rocks at him!  It's a good thing Jasper is a quick learner, otherwise there would have been a lot more rocks in his future.

"Hey, kid."  A man with a scraggly looking face rolls down the window.  The ice cream man!  "You wanted somethin'?"

"Sure do, mister!"  Jasper looks over the ice cream choices on the side of the truck.  There were ice cream sandwiches, drumsticks, those push pop thingies, the faces with bubblegum eyes, that frozen lemonade stuff in a cup that tastes okay he supposes, and-  "One bomb pop!  Please!"

"Sure, which flavor?"

"The one that looks like a rocket!"

"Red, white, and blue, comin' up."  Jasper waits patiently as the ice cream man disappears for a minute before reappearing with the cold treat.  "Here ya go.  One American ice cream."

"Is it really called that?"

"Nah.  That's a dollar."  Jasper hands over the dollar and grabs the frosty treat from the man as he sits on the sidewalk.  As he unwraps the popsicle, the ice cream man grunts in surprise.

"You want somethin' too?"  Jasper looks up and sees David standing not too far from him.  He's biting his lip, fists buried deep in his pockets as he glares at the ice cream on the truck.  "Gotta pay up, kid."

"...Not if I take it first!"  Jasper watches as David runs and leaps at the truck's window, grabbing onto the ledge as the ice cream man looks unimpressed.

"Nice try, kid."  He flicks off every single one of his tiny fingers, making David land on the ground with a soft "oof!".  "Maybe come back with a dollar, and I'll give ya what your bratty heart so desires."

"Whatever!"  David stands up quickly and stomps his foot.  "Ice cream is for squares anyways!"  As the ginger stomps off, Jasper wonders how many times David's tried to pull that off.  He gets up and walks back to the truck.

"Hey, mister?"

"Whatcha want, kid?"  The ice cream man eyes him from the window.  "You better eat that quick 'fore the sun melts it."  

"Oh I will!  It's just, um," he digs around in his pocket and pulls out another dollar, "can I have another one?"

The ice cream man takes it slowly, looking between Jasper and a door that slams shut yet again.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."  Technically, Jasper wasn't breaking any rules.  He grins up at the man brightly.  "Umm, can I have..."

Actually, which one WOULD he like?  It's not like Jasper knows enough about David to make a good guess.  All he knows is that David is grumpy, hates people, sasses adults, and is an overall menace to everyone around him.

But he's also seen David out in the rain, with no umbrella or raincoat to speak of, just picking worms off the sidewalk and tossing them into the grass.  He's seen David yell at bullies, aim only for the legs in dodgeball, and even sit next to a crying kid silently just so he wouldn't be alone.  

Jasper points at the vanilla bar with the hard outside.

"Can I have that one?"

"Sure, kid."  The ice cream man disappears and comes back with the wrapped treat, but he looks hesitant to give it to him.  "Are ya sure...?"

"Totally man!  My mom says that if I treat people the way I wanna be treated, I can make friends way faster like that!"

"That's one way to do it, I guess."  The ice cream man shrugs as he hands over the treat.  "Better give it to him before it melts then."

"Will do!  Thanks, mister!"

The ice cream man waves as Jasper runs to David's house, sticking his melting popsicle in his mouth as he knocks on the door.  The door creaks open slowly, a single green eye peeking out suspiciously before he spies Jasper standing on his doorstep.  Jasper pops his popsicle out and grins.

"Heya, broski!"

"Oh, it's you."  Ouch.  "What do you want?"  Jasper waves the wrapped treat in front of David.

"I did something totally wack and got an extra by accident!  And I'm only supposed to have one ice cream before dinner or else my mom will totally wig out, so I thought maybe you'd like it?"  David stares at the ice cream with a suspicious squint.

"...Why are you giving it to me?"

"Because you're the only kid I know in this neighborhood!"

"Liar."

"Okay, maybe I know a few other kids, but you were closer!"

"What's the catch?"  David glares at Jasper, holding onto his door tight.  "I take the ice cream and then what?  I gotta give you my allowance?  Beat the snot outta someone?  Be your friend because you're a weird loner?"  

Well, Jasper's not exactly a loner, but he wouldn't mind being friends with David if he'd just stop being mean for a second.

"It's just ice cream, dude.  Take it or leave it."

David swipes the bar from his hand and slams the door in Jasper's face.

"Nice!"  The ice cream man calls, laughing as Jasper walks away with a huff.

Well.

At least he took the dang thing. 

////

The ice cream truck comes again, and this time, the man grins as Jasper points at an ice cream sandwich.

"Gonna get a second one too while you're at it?"  He points to a door cracking open, and a familiar tuft of red hair peeking out.

"...I dunno, maybe."  Last time didn't work out so hot.  Maybe David just doesn't want friends.  Maybe he's the loner.

And Jasper's fine with that.  It's not like he has to be friends with David anyways.

"Who knows, kid?  Maybe he's like a stray cat.  Gotta be nice to 'im and bait 'im 'til he comes out."

"You just want my mom's money."

"Absolutely, now are you gonna buy another one or not?"

"I said I dunno."  Jasper huffs as he waits for the ice cream man to give him his sandwich.  As he takes it, he hears the door shut and he turns to find David no longer hiding by his door.

"Looks like the runt went back into hiding."  The ice cream man hums to himself as Jasper unwraps his treat and starts to munch away.  A bright look comes across the man's face as he ducks into his truck as Jasper watches curiously.  When the ice cream man resurfaces from his searching, a yellowish cup is held in his hand as he shoves it at Jasper's face.  "Here, kid."

Jasper scrunches up his face.

"I don't want it."

"Nah, kid, it's free."

"I still don't want it."

"Look, I got a whole bunch of these laying around 'cause kids don't want 'em as much as the other stuff I got.  So why not throw it at that kid's face so you're not wasting your ma's money and I'm gettin' rida stock I don't need?"

"I don't want him to hate me more than he already does!"

"Can't get any lower than rock bottom, kid."

Oh, he'd beg to differ.

But the ice cream man tosses him what was essentially frozen lemonade, but not like, the good lemonade, but the lemonade that was just pure lemon juice with some water, maybe even too much water, mixed in, and then they put it in the freezer, and then put that ice block into a blender, turned it on high, and poured the goop into a cup to be sold to children who actually knew what good lemonade tasted like.

And this was not good lemonade.

Jasper barely manages to catch it as it smacks into his chest.

"Good luck, kid!"  The ice cream man salutes him before rushing off into the driver's seat to drive away.

"But I said I didn't want it!"  Fruitlessly, he yells at the disappearing ice cream truck, groaning loudly as he clutches this awful excuse for a lemony treat.  What was he supposed to do with it?  

...

Well, he could actually give it to David.

Maybe he was into this sort of stuff.

Frozen, bad lemonade.  That was kind of like shaved ice, but not really.  The outside of the cup sweats in his hand, reminding him of the hot temperature.

Maybe he wouldn't care?  Maybe he'll take it because it's so hot out and use it as a, like, ice pack or something.

His feet are already walking him to David's door, and after cramming the ice cream sandwich in his mouth, he once again knocks on the door, but with less enthusiasm this time.  David opens the door, but he looks only a little surprised.

"What do you want, Jasper?"

Oh, he knows his name?  

"Uh, here."  His words are muffled around the sandwich, but David takes the cup regardless.

And scrunches up his face when he sees it.

"Ugh!  I don't want this!"

"Me neither!"

"It sucks!"

"I know!"

David blinks, as if registering that Jasper was actually agreeing with him.

"So why are you giving this to me?"  Jasper swallows a bite of his sandwich and shrugs.

"I dunno, maybe you can like, use it as an ice pack?"

"Pfft."  David snorts, which makes Jasper perk up a bit.  "As if.  This thing'll only last for a few minutes."  

"What are you gonna do then?"  Jasper watches as David wipes the sweat from his brow, frowning as he stares down at the cup.

And sighs dramatically.

"Guess I'll eat the dang thing."

"...You sure?"

"Well it's not like I have a choice."  Jasper expects more bite to his words, but the ginger merely says it with a tired reluctance he doesn't expect.  "Thanks, though."

"Oh uh, sure, duderino."  He expects David to slam the door in his face but the boy just... keeps it open.  "Guess I'll see you around?"

"Whatever."  David shrugs as he pops the lid open.  "See ya."  

He walks away from David's house and doesn't hear the door close.  When he makes it to his own house, he looks over to where David's house is and sees the boy sitting there.  Quietly eating his treat in the open doorway.

And Jasper swears.

He's eating it with a smile.

////

When Jasper approaches the familiar ice cream truck, he can hear two voices yelling at each other near the truck's window.

"You tellin' me this is all two dollars?!"

"I said count 'em, you gigantic square!"

"Uhh...?"  Jasper walks up to find David gripping the edge of the window from where he hangs with a snarl.  The ice cream man glares back down at David as he holds a fist full of coins.  Oh.

"It's two dollars!"

"Quit jerkin' my chain!  As if I'd believe you!"

"Can I count?"  The two of them turn their heads to Jasper as he sheepishly rubs his arm.  "I mean, if I count them in front of you, it'd save you the trouble and prove Dave- David's telling the truth."  The ice cream man rolls his eyes but hands the change over to Jasper regardless.  And so the brunette carefully sorts out the assortment of change, and holy cow, he can see why the ice cream man was angry at first.  It's a big mess of nickels and pennies and dimes, with maybe one quarter in the mix, but he counts out the change dutifully, carefully, and out loud so that the ice cream man can see his work.

"...and two dollars."  He gathers up the change and holds it up to the ice cream man.  "David was telling the truth."

"I told you, you big doofus."

"Watch it, kid, or else I'm taking your money and drivin' away."

"That's stealing!"

"As if you haven't tried stealin' from me before."  But the ice cream man disappears and comes back with two drumsticks.  "Here, your ice cream."

"Yessss!"  David takes them both, before turning to Jasper and handing him a stick.

"...Huh?"

"Here."  He shoves it into Jasper's hand and looks away.  "For the other times you got me ice cream."

"Oh!  You didn't have to-"

"Later, nerd!"  David runs off and into his house, slamming the door shut as he leaves Jasper in the dust.

"...Are you two friends now?"

"Uhh."  Jasper looks down at the drumstick in his hand.  It's the usual kind - vanilla, coated with chocolate and nuts.  He unwraps it and gnaws on the outer shell.

Sweet.

"...Maybe."

"Huh."  The ice cream man sounds amused as he reclines against his window.  "That was quick."

////

It becomes a routine.

Everyday, the ice cream man comes.  Sometimes it'll be Jasper who meets him first.  And sometimes it's David.

But there's an unspoken rule between them.

They have to wait until the other shows up before leaving.

It's like a meeting place, but with a guy who brings the meeting place to them.

Normally, they just buy the ice cream and part ways back to their houses.  

But sometimes...

"Doesn't it hurt?"

"What?"

Jasper and David sit on the curb, the ice cream man already driving away as they eat.  It's too hot to stay indoors, so they find themselves having a rare moment outside in the sun.  Jasper wouldn't mind staying quiet, if only for the fact that David bites down on the bomb pop like it's candy and crunching away at it in his mouth.

Just watching him eat it makes Jasper's teeth ache.

"Biting down on it!"

"No it doesn't."  David chomps down on it again, making Jasper cringe. 

"My mom says that biting ice cream like that can hurt your teeth."

David snorts.

"You're just a chicken."

"Am not!"

"Then do it, chicken."

Jasper looks at his own popsicle.  He doesn't want to hurt his teeth, but he also doesn't want to be called a chicken.  David grins slyly as he nudges Jasper.

"Chiiiickeeeeen," he goads.

"I'm not a chicken!"  Without a second thought, Jasper bites down on his popsicle and crunches down on the block of flavored ice.  It feels as though the ice is freezing his teeth all the way down to his gums, and it sort of hurts, and sort of doesn't.

It's still not pleasant though, so he chews through it quickly.

"See?"  David nudges him again with a lighter grin as he goes back to polishing off the popsicle.  "It's not that bad."

"Ugh."  He determines not to do that again.  "I think I'll pass on eating popsicles like that ever again."

David snickers but doesn't push him.  Instead, they both kick at the asphalt beneath their feet and take in the rays.

////

Summer comes, and summer goes.  They go back to school, pretend they don't know each other asides from a neighborly nod, before continuing on with their lives.

But when summer returns, they find themselves meeting up back at the ice cream truck.

"Wanna try these ones?!"  Jasper excitedly points at the pastel-looking ice cream bars on the truck.

"Are you getting it only for the colors?"

"Why not!"  

"That's dumb.  You're dumb."  

"You just don't wanna admit you wanna try the cotton candy one."  Jasper teases the ginger as David rolls his eyes.

"Whatever.  I'll just take the watermelon one."  

"Well, I'm taking the cotton candy one, 'cause I'm not a chicken."

"You take that back."

"Are you kids gonna pay or what?"

"Here you go, mister!"  As the ice cream man hands them their treats, the two of them sit back on the curb, kicking at the asphalt as they get used to each other yet again.

"You think his menu ever changes?"

"Nah, he seems too lazy to do that."

"But what if something new comes out?  Like a tubular kind of ice cream."

"He already has a tube-y ice cream."

"No, like tubular!  Like wicked?  Gnarly?"

"...I hate you so much.  Just speak like a human!"

"But I am??"  David yells as Jasper laughs.  "Take a chill pill, man!  It's how everyone speaks nowadays!"

"That's a lie.  A big, dumb lie that only a square would make."

"Calling people a square is sooo outdated, Davey."  The nickname slips out before Jasper can stop himself, and he slaps his hand over his mouth in shock.  "Oh, no, I'm sorry!  I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine."

And he blinks.

"...Huh?"

"I said it's fine."  David kicks at the asphalt, keeping his eyes away from Jasper's as he bites into his ice cream.  "...I'm okay with you calling me 'Davey'."

"Are.  Are you sure?"

"Yeah."  David shrugs before turning to face Jasper.  He looks uncertain, nervous even as he twirls the melting treating between his fingers.  "I mean, we're friends, right?"

And he blinks again.

Mouth slightly agape. 

He must have taken too long to respond because suddenly David's ears are bright red as he stands up abruptly.  "Wh-whatever!  If we're not friends, just say it-!"

"We are!"  Jasper stands up just as quickly, a giddy grin making it onto his face as he makes to hug David, only to remember the sticky ice cream in their hands.  "We're friends!"

It's David's turn to blink as he registers the words Jasper says.  And then.

He smiles.

A real, genuine smile.

"...Cool!"

And when summer inevitably ends, he hopes he'll get more than a nod from David as they pass each other in the halls.

////

Summers come, and summers go.  As they pass each other in the halls, Jasper goes for a high-five that David avoids, only to punch Jasper (lightly) in the arm later.

They sit next to each other at lunch, Jasper sharing his snacks with David as the latter pours over Jasper's homework as Jasper explains each problem to him.

They become an odd pair, the two of them.  David's bristly exterior is immediately softened when Jasper is nearby, and Jasper's mood lightens considerably no matter the problem he has to face as long as David is there with him.

People often ask him if he hopes to make David a more cheery person by sticking with him.  After all, Jasper is all smiles and bright colors.  But Jasper just shrugs, saying he likes David the way he is.

If David changes, then he'll still like him.

Because David is David.

Just like how Jasper is Jasper.

Some things about them will change, Jasper knows that's inevitable.  Habits change, opinions change, outlooks change.

But some routines never change.

They're fourteen as they wait for the ice cream truck together, sitting on Jasper's front lawn as the cool grass stains their shorts.

"Aren't we too old for ice cream trucks?"  David is lying down besides Jasper, his eyes closed as Jasper drops torn up grass onto his face.  Jasper giggles as David swats halfheartedly at his hand.

"Nah."  

"We could be doing something else.  Like playing games.  Or eating ice."

"Only you would eat ice."

"Yeah well, maybe if you didn't think your teeth were so fragile-"

Jasper rolls David over, the other boy squeaking indignantly as his words are muffled by the dirt and grass. 

"UGH!  JASP-"  And then a familiar jingle rounds the corner.

"Oh it's Mr. Kevin!"  Jasper bounces to his feet and dashes away to meet the familiar driver.  "What's up-!"

David comes up from behind Jasper and grabs him in a headlock, already yelling at the amused man as he pulls out a few bills.

"HE WANTS THE LEMON ICE!"

"HEY-"

"Whatever my loyal customers want."

"HEY-"

////

A few more summers come and go.  Puberty is wack.  High school is wack.  Preparing for college is super bogus wack.  But David isn't wack.

If time could stop for just a moment, just so Jasper could have more seconds in the day to relish those moments of happiness that escape them more often than not, then maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't feel as though everything was falling through his fingers so quickly.

Things change too quickly.

Times change too quickly.

Even old routines, that one routine he'd grown to depend on every summer.

That began to change too.

As the two of them wait for the ice cream man, a man who has slowly begun to fade from their lives as the times change, Jasper finds himself clutching desperately to the past as his feet tap nervously against the grass.  He can feel David's eyes on him, watching as his best friend slowly unravels before him.  With a sigh, David leans against him, forcing Jasper to a halt as he forces the teen to lay down in the grass.

Up above them, the clouds roll by peacefully, completely unbothered and untethered to any sorts of worries.

"...You think he's gonna come by?"

"I don't think he's got enough customers to justify it, Jasp."

"...Bummer."

"Hm."

They continue to watch the clouds for a while, Jasper's disappointment settling on his face as he wonders if he took his childhood for granted yet again.  A finger prods his cheek, and he turns to see David's green eyes.  Calm.  Relaxed, even.  He's mellowed out throughout the years, but he still wears a frown most days.  He's grown up a lot since he was that mean, bratty kid next door.

"You want ice cream that bad?"

"It's not that."  Jasper bites his lip.  He's kind of embarrassed actually, wanting to stick to this routine for so long.  David's probably long since gotten tired of waiting for the ice cream truck, especially during these recent years as the man showed up less and less.  But he never complains or goes against Jasper's wants, and instead plays along patiently as Jasper continues to cling.  

"Then what is it?"

Is it hard to explain?  Or is it just embarrassing to say?  He looks over to David, and there's understanding in his eyes as he props himself up, waiting for Jasper to choose his words without any rush.

How lucky was he to keep a friend like David for so long?

"We stuck together because of the ice cream truck."  David's eyes widen as the words sink in.  Jasper laughs, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck as he looks away.  "I dunno it just- I'm probably just tripping over this for no reason, dude, sorry-"

"It's important to you."  Jasper feels David lean against him as he thinks out loud.  "I don't think it's wrong that you're upset about it."

"...But it's a dumb thing to cling to."

"Not really.  We became friends because we kept buying ice cream together.  I think that's pretty meaningful."  David rests his chin on Jasper's shoulder as they continue to sit, waiting for nothing to arrive. 

"Is it bad that I miss it?"

"Nah."  

The breeze ruffles their hair.

"...What do you think Kevin is up to?"

"Probably selling drugs."

"Davey!"

"What?"  The ginger laughs, puffs of warm brushing against Jasper's neck as he gradually calms down.  "I'm right."

"You don't know that."

"Maybe."  

Jasper closes his eyes.  It's hot out, but he doesn't mind David sticking so close by.  It's comforting, actually, feeling his warmth like this.  Like, no matter what, even if the ice cream truck doesn't come by anymore, David doesn't really need a reason to just come by and sit next to Jasper and do nothing together.

At least that won't change.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Let's do something next year."

"Like what?"

"Something new."  David turns his attention back to the sky and reaches out towards it.  He tries to grab a cloud, but it floats away from his hand.  "I've always wanted to go camping."

"But we don't know anything about camping."

"We can practice."  David pulls back just enough to look Jasper in the eye, bright eyed at the prospect.  "We got a whole year to prepare, and we'll be graduating soon anyways.  Why not do something special for that summer?"

No more ice cream trucks.  No more sitting around.  But something new to fill in the void.

It couldn't hurt, right?

"Yeah."  He smiles as David returns with his own grin.  "Let's try that out."

\\\\

Summers come as they are wont to do.  And they leave as they tend to do.  The ice cream truck never comes back.

But that's okay.

David brightens up significantly as they begin camping, and Jasper wonders if he'd been holding his friend back for so long, making him wait for trucks to come when it was clear they needed to move on.

And yet.

He stood by him the entire time, waiting until Jasper was ready to let go.

An unspoken trust.  With unwavering understanding.

Camping is alright, he supposes, but David loves how the trees surround them, how the birds sing above them, the way they come across streams and rivers as though they were new discoveries.

Camping is alright.  But David's happiness is worth so much more.

"Jasp!"  David pulls him along to the nearby clearing, their campfire crackling softly as he points up to the sky.  "You don't get to see stars like this often!"

"...Yeah."  He watches as David stares up at the night sky, so unlike the boy he grew up with.  It's a side of him he's rarely seen before.

And he thinks that it's a shame that they never got to explore this side of him sooner.

Wouldn't that have made David happier?

David turns to Jasper, head tilted to the side as he catches his friend staring.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Oh, uh, nothing."  He looks away with a blush, scratching at his cheek as he looks for something to distract David with.  "Oh yeah, we should make sure the campfire doesn't burn down anything, right?"

"Oh- yeah!"  David rushes back, already worried as Jasper laughs.

This.

This is different.

But it's a good kind of different.

"Hey."

"Huh?"  David looks up from where he sits by the fire, watching as Jasper plops down besides him.

"Why do you like camping so much?"

"...I dunno it just."  He shrugs, smiling wistfully as he watches the fire.  "I mean, I used to camp a lot with my dad.  Before he left."  

Ah, right.

"Wouldn't you hate camping then?"

"I mean, I did.  For a long time, I did."  David laughs, a light blush dusting his cheeks as he talks.  "But then, you became my friend.  And we grew closer and.  I just wanted to do something with you.  Something that we could claim as our own.  Sure, there was that whole ice cream thing but.  That could only last for so long, and when it ran its course, I saw how you were struggling to just.  Wrap your mind around losing something that was so us.  And I wanted to do something.  Make a new something.  And.  Camping was the only thing I could think of."  He shrugs as he turns to face Jasper, the brunette wide eyed as the ginger grins.  "It just felt... right, you know?"

"...God."  Jasper shakes his head, laughing as he does so.  "You're amazing, you know that?"

"Only because you stuck by long enough for me to be amazing."  David nudges his shoulder playfully.  "...Hey."

"Hm?"

"Thanks.  For actually, um.  Being my friend."  David looks down as he speaks.  "It couldn't have been easy."

"...Nah, thanks for letting me stick to that ice cream schtick for so long."  Jasper bonks his head gently against David's.  "That couldn't have been easy."

"It's whatever."  David bonks back with a smile.  "I mean, as long as I got to spend time with you, it was worth it."

...Yeah.

It was, wasn't it?

He smiles as their fingers brush together.

Yeah, maybe camping was just alright.  If it'd been with anyone else, he'd be pretty indifferent and distant throughout the whole affair.

But.

With David?

Like when they were waiting for the ice cream truck together, the sun beaming down above them, feet kicking playfully at asphalt as they listened to the sounds of the birds chirping in the distance.

Sitting here, by an open fire, underneath the stars and listening to the songs of the crickets and the hoots of the owls.

Just like then.

Just.  Existing next to each other.

It just.

Feels.

Right.

[agentaace]

artemis fowl liveblog, if anyones interested (disclaimers: i was a HUGE fan of the books when i was younger but i barely remember anything, and i am pretty high right now)

its gonna be long folks! like..... really long

okay. news reporters. is that.... the digging guy??

YEAH ITS MULCH!! is he.... the narrator??? why is he the narrator???

who is this surfing child. the artemis i know has never stepped foot outside. i dont think he ever went to school either "an unusual kid" NOT UNUSUAL ENOUGH.... this kid looks to much like a cinnamon roll..... WHY IS HIS MOM DEAD

a hoverboard? a fucking hoverboard???

humans shouldnt know about the faeries

this bitch wearing jeans? also the dad looks like david from schitts creek but older

i should mention that the first time i heard this movie was approaching i looked up who was cast for Holly Short, bc i DISTINCTLY remember her explicetly canonically having brown skin bc i used to draw her!!! also butler's name wasnt revealed until like the third book and it was a BIG DEAL, youre just gonna drop it just like that?

whys artemis dressed like edmund pevensie...... fucking knock off version. edmund had more evil in his body than this wannabe supervillain and edmund was a GOOD BOY

hate this version of butler. hes too nice. hes helpful and kind. why has disney spat in my face

OH SHIT FAIRYWORLD LOOKS DOPE AF, somehow almost exactly like inused to picture it!! one good detail!! and if holly wasnt whitewashed she'd be kinda cute,,,,

this is not a compliment to the movie at all but i still absolutely love the faeries being super sci fi and tech oriented, thats incredible.... scifi fantasy DREAM HYBRID

oh god last time i saw judy dench was in the cats movie,,, she stared into my soul,,,, i cannot forget. though yeah she is a good commander root actually from what little i remember, the vibes are right

pleasebejuliapleasebejulia.... oh its juliet but SHE IS HERE!!!!!!!!!! h his twelve year old neice??? no??? she is his like 17 year old sister

oh my god foaly..... ok he looks cool as hell actually.... too bad his legs are animated weird!!! i would die for him

the l.e.p.recon suit and the wings actually look pretty close to whay i pictured too.... and the troll scene!!! holy shit i remember this!!! and thats how artemis finds her..... yess.... god those books were good.... time-freeze bubble foreshadowing omg i REMEMBER THAT and artemis figures out a way to avoid it..... holy shit im having so many flashbacks

OPAL KOBOI OH MY GOD wasnt she not until the third book??? and the dad and the aculos stuff too???? why are they mixing them up like this

okay kidnapping scene and where holly and artemis meet is sorta exactly what i remember, like i feel like its almost line for line tbh

pacing is wack, i feel like the time freeze was much later in the book and holly was captive for like, a majority.... also, now that artemis is playing villain to holly it feels a lot more natural, he is SUPPOSED to be snarky and rude and mean

"top o' the morning" very funny judy dench line, but i dont think its funny for the reasons disney intended

ARTEMIS IN A SUIT, FINALLY!!! also, Take The Shot! lmao. and see... this little good artemis doesnt make sense to have this extremely thorough and detailed and villainous plan, why couldnt disney just make him evil

HEY I REMEMBER THE GOBLIN FIRE THING IN PRISON W MULCH ACTUALLY..... NICE

"youre enjoying all this, you think it's a game!" YES! wht couldnt disney just lean into this and commit!!! i just wish this child looked like more of a bastard!!

hehehe david bowie is a faerie (though i'm.... not really liking josh gad's comedic relief role here.... thats nothing new) FUCK ME I FORGOT ABOUT THE JAW THING I AM TOO HIGH FOR THAT SHIT THIS IS HORRIFYING

iris cam!!! vividly remember that!!! and the finger gun thing, did they use that too?? loved that, will be disapointed if its not here

eeeughfjhf i forgot about the dwarf beard hair thing too oh GOD

the aculos looks good according to my awful memory!!! nice

the cudgeon storyline was NOT in the first book, not that i can remember, amd its not even interesting?? it just clutters up this movie with some nonsense. i dont like it.

that troll fucking YEETED butler eeeeeigufjkd the jaw thing again noooooo

like okay i like that artemis looks Baby, i like that he looks 12, i just wanted a shittier twelve year old. this ones too nice!! toss him out!!!

this butler is also too cute. i needed him to be way intimidating. but this one is wholesome. fuck this

and the relationship between holly and artemis. its too good, too pure. they are so cute. in the books they were friends completely against their will.

yeah i am totally mad that they are combining the first book and the third (?) book. not everything has to be some End Of The World shit. sometimes a kid just ransoms a fairy because he wants gold and he's evil. this disney version is much more boring. like if this movie had leaned into the wholesome stuff while keeping a lower stakes plot, thatd be okay. if artemis was super evil and cool as fuck and they made the stakes a little higher.... that might have been okay? but Good People Fighting The End Of The World is every movie and it is very boring!!!!! oh my god!!!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? THE DAD'S NOT EVEN EVIL???? NOOOOO

holly and commander root were not close. seriously cut the wholesome shit. these were the LEAST wholesome books i read as a child. the faeries have swear words and they arent afraid to use them.

ugh the weird "we're probably not going to get a sequel but we're going to imply one anyways" thing that bad book adaptations do.... like miss peregrine's, remember that?

"i'm artemis fowl. i'm a criminal mastermind." FUCK YEAH YOU ARE GO OFF KING actually a little hyped over that line. maybe twelve is too young to be fully evil. he still has time to become Bastard.

fuck the mulch narrator bullshit. hate that. "i hope you don't get squeamish" I DO PLEASE DO NOT DO WHAT YOU ARE DOING shut the fuck up. all of you shut the fuck up you are so ANNOYING

okay its over and i am free

[purplesurveys]

749

Have you ever had FOMO (fear of missing out)? Sure, I’ll get it quite often cause there’s always so much going on. If so, what's caused it? The last time I got FOMO it was when Blanch and Andrew made plans to have a drink Friday evening a few months ago, but they invited me by the time I was already home for at least a couple of hours. Fortunately for me the hangout never pushed through that day haha. Are you happy with your social life? I’m a lot happier with it given how dismal it used to be. I’ve since reconnected with some high school friends like Ciamae and my relationships with my orgmate friends are stronger than ever. If not, what would you have to do to change that? Have you ever hosted a party? If so, what kind of party was it? No. I don’t want to bear that responsibility lol I feel like I’d be awful at planning it and that I’d turn out to be a lousy host. I’d rather go to someone else’s party.

What's the best thing you can cook yourself? Meh, don’t remind me of my nonexistent cooking skills. Are there a lot of graffiti around your neighbourhood? No. It’s a gated subdivision, so not only is that not allowed, but the people living here probably aren’t into graffiti either. They’ll be pretty common once exiting the main gate of the village, though. What kind of a phone do you have? iPhone 8. What kinds of stuff do you have on your keychain? I only have the keys to my car and front door. I used to have a rainbow Mickey Mouse that Gabie got for me as well as a UP keychain thingy, but both of them fell off at some point so I stopped including non-key things on my keychain because I was really sad about losing those trinkets. Have you ever made something with your own hands that you're proud of? Yeah. I forgot which province that was in – I think it was Vigan? – but they had a pottery factory that we visited and I was able to make my own small vase. I wasn’t able to take it home because they said firing it would take a couple of days, so I only have a photo of my work as a souvenir. If so, what is it? ^ I’m pretty sure I already posted a photo of that vase on one of my surveys; I just don’t know if this is also the exact survey I answered before lol. What is your favourite Jack Lemmon film? I haven’t watched any of his work. I’ve always wanted to see The Apartment though. What is your favourite David Hyde Pierce film? Unfamiliar name so I had to look him up...andddd after Google I’ve learned I haven’t watched any of his work. A bit of an impressive portfolio though. Have you ever made your own soda? (Soda Stream doesn't count!) No. Do you have a hobby that forces you out of the house? If so, what is it? I don’t feel forced out of the house by it lol but I do love going to museums and trying out new restaurants and what food they have to offer. It’s not as demanding as having Pokemon Go as a hobby as I like doing either on my own time. Have you ever been part of a theater group? No. If so, did you get any lead roles or mostly supporting roles? Which IM app do you use the most? Messenger. For a brief period during the quarantine my friends and I gave Telegram a shot since they also have games in there, but that only lasted like two weeks since the game bots were too wonky. What's the most ecological thing you do? I think it would be segregating my trash. I’ve forgotten most of the things my old school taught me but that’ll forever stay etched in my head, and I’m really grateful that my university also has separate trash bins to allow me to continue the practice, because so many other public areas don’t. My former music teacher, Ms. Ettie, also taught us to ‘save the polar bears.’ It’s essentially lessening your paper consumption by always folding your notebook leaves in half, but she’s always used ‘saving the polar bears’ with us both as an easy way for us to remember, and because it’s a cute way to put it. What's your favourite board game? Why do you like it best? I don’t really like playing lots of board games and I don’t get to encounter them much either. I always end up having a hard time following any of them – especially the new ones that seem to have much more rules :/ – and board games are too expensive these days anyway. Besides English, what other languages can you speak? Filipino. Besides English, what other languages can you read? Filipino. I’ve also been learning Spanish on Duolingo, but I’m still very rusty and despite being familiar with many words and phrases it’s still hard for me to read complete sentences altogether. Do you think you could make it as a chef? No, the kitchen and I have never been friends. This has baffled me for a long time because both sides of my family are known for their cooking, and my own dad is a chef. I dunno what happened to me or my siblings or cousins lol. What's your favourite kind of tea? Unhealthy, sweet, artificial/powdered iced tea. I also like the tea they give out at fancy hotels that are hot, thick, and almost taste like nothing since they make me feel fancy hahaha but I don’t get to have them a lot, so. How do you like your tea? ^ Just the first one I mentioned. I’m not much of a tea girl so the powdered iced teas are already enough for me. What thing/person/happening has made you the happiest you've been? There’s been many things that have made me extremely happy but I suppose I haven’t been as happy as the time I passed my dream school and the time I asked Gab out again and she said yes. Girls, do you ever just say "Fuck it!" and go without a bra? Yes. It’s hardly noticeable whether I’m wearing a bra or not because my chest is really tiny, and in fact it looks even more unnatural when I wear a bra because all of them are just too big for me, even the ones with the smallest cup sizes. Because of that I can alllllllways get away without wearing a bra in school and no one would bat an eye. What's the most freeing thing you've ever done? So far it’s been driving out of town by myself. Have you ever had a restaurant dish that was made with bugs? Unfortunately no. They had bug dishes in Vigan but the menu said their availability would depend on if they’re in season, and unfortunately we were there at a time when they had no bug dishes and I had to settle with the next most exotic thing they had, frog legs. The next place I wanna get to try bugs in is definitely Thailand. If not, would you even want to try one? Yup, I just said I do. Do you think today's kids are really impatient? In the same way that adults are. A lot of kids are exposed to the internet now, so I suppose they’re influenced to be impatient a lot quicker what with the possibility of their videos buffering, websites loading slowly, and other factors like those. But then again I don’t know if I’m making sense; I haven’t had to handle and observe a young kid in years. Have you ever tasted birch sap? Nope.

How about the young buds/shoots of spruce trees? I haven’t. Which edible flowers have you tasted? I don’t think I’ve tried any of them? And answering no to the last three questions has made me realize how inexperienced of a foodie I still am haha. What has been your worst restaurant experience? I can think of three but there were always external reasons as to why they were bad. 

Mad Mark’s was really bad and we had to follow-up so many times for each of our meals AND our check, but I’m not as resentful towards them since one of the seemingly only two servers present was pregnant. 

Barcino’s service was also quite awful and we waited an hour for our food, but we forgave them since it was Valentine’s and the place was ridiculously busy. 

Probably the worst experience comes from a family dinner at Shakey’s, but only because it was my parents’ fault. I had no problem at all with the service but I think my mom and dad just decided to be extraordinarily snippy that evening and criticize every single thing our server – and eventually, the manager – did. It was really embarrassing and I remember spontaneously crying out of frustration at their childish behavior lol. We ended up walking out with my mom sneering “your service sucks” to the manager and me giving him an apologetic look. It was so brutally embarrassing, eugh.

What's the most immature, adolescent thing that still makes you laugh? Probably Pewdiepie jokes. Have you ever had a life threatening condition? If so, what was it? Nope. Do you ever compare your life to somebody else's? If so, why? Eh, it’s something we can’t help but do sometimes. What is a food item or a dish you absolutely cannot stand? Fruitcake or food for the gods. Have you ever had a custom print done on a shirt? If so, what was it? Not me personally, but I’ve ordered t-shirts with custom prints back in high school for our events. What does your favourite mug look like? I really only have one mug and I’ve described it so many times on here, so I just looked for it on Google this time and this is what it looks like. The design turns blue when the beverage inside is hot, and it gradually fades back to black as it cools down.

Do you ever copy surveys to Facebook Notes and share your answers? Mmm nope. I’ve only taken surveys and posted them on my Tumblr. What's the best thing about today? I found out Keeping Up with the Kardashians is coming to Netflix by June and I CANNOOOOOOOT be any more excited for it haha. Do you ever read other people's survey answers? Yes, always. Everyone I follow on here writes very well and it’s always interesting to read their answers :) Do you like daytime or night time better? Why? Nighttime. I don’t really like the sun and I’ve found the nightlife more suitable to my personality, interests, vibe, etc. What's your highest level of education so far? I’m taking up an undergraduate degree but I’m supposed to be graduating this year. The schedule is still wonky due to coronavirus, but I have hope in graduating. I still 130% don’t know if I will be taking up law but I’ve had family and friends lightly nagging me to try taking law school entrance exams in 2021. If you could have any job in the whole world, which would you like? A travel blogger/vlogger. Describe your ordinary day. Back when life was still...normal, I’d drive 1-1.5 hours before my first class so I can beat the traffic, but usually I’d still end up in bad traffic because that’s Metro Manila for you. What I would do on my free time depends; if my schedule was freer I’d go to Skywalk to hang with friends, but sometimes I’ll have errands to run like printing something at the internet cafe. I have nearly-daily meetings in the afternoon so I’ll have to go to those too; and then 1-2 times a week I’ll drive to Ortigas so I can see my girlfriend. It was a very hectic schedule and I miss it a lot. Would you ever have a UV tattoo? A what now? What is the brand and colour name of your favourite lipstick? I don’t have one. What do you like on your tortilla? Just whatever goes on a fajita. I don’t really have tortillas much. How about inside your pita bread? ^ All the same, just whatever goes in a shawarma as it’s one of my favorite food. What do you like in your burger? I answered this in a previous survey but I wouldn’t hesitate to order a burger if a menu says it has caramelized onions, brioche buns, and some kind of secret special sauce because that always makes me curious haha. I’ll sometimes go for bacon, jalapeño, or eggs too, but not always. How about on your pizza? I only ever order quattro formaggi; I never have the heart to order anything else as it’s my favorite variety of pizza heh. Would you ever take part in a games club? Probs not as it’s not really my hobby. If so, what would be your ideal club? I dunno, this question is quite vague haha. I suppose if there’s an club or org that bands together people who love history, debates about it, or likes watching documentaries on different history topics, I’d jump on it. Would you be able to give a speech on your favourite subject right now? Sure. We used to have several impromptu speech exercises in my public speaking class and no matter how much I dreaded each of them I always did quite well, so I got convinced that I must have some sort of talent or skill in it that I never got to discover until I had that class. Do you work better alone or in a group? Depends on what needs to be done. If there’s a video that needs to be done or a poster that has to be made, I’d be much more comfortable if I was in a group cause then someone else could take over those tasks.

Are you more comfortable as a leader or a follower? It also depends. If I like the topic or task we’re given, I have no problem leading the group. Which one of your friends have you known the longest? For how long? Angela, 15 years. What is your favourite song right now at this very moment? It’s a local song called Sino by Unique Salonga. It’s not a recent song anymore, but I came across a fan video of Unique performing it in a gig and just fell in love with it all over again.

[cyclone-rachel]

this is sOOO late and im sorry, but what are your thoughts on the latest episode and s5 of supergirl so far?? :D

so season 5 was… difficult to get into, at first? There were a lot of things happening, and moments that I liked (Kara’s new suit and her in general, any scene Kelly and Alex shared, I really liked James, J’onn was very good, there was some stuff with Brainy I enjoyed, I weirdly liked Lena and Eve/Hope’s whole thing for example although that was a lot thanks to Supergirl Radio, etc.), but every episode I was worried about what was going to happen and so I couldn’t actually focus on a lot of it?

This continued for the first 4 episodes, I think. But from episode 5 on, I don’t know if things changed, but I found them easier to like personally and I spent less time worrying about them. Especially 7, and not just because I got to podcast about it. 8 was fine? Not the best midseason finale we’ve ever had, but it tied some things up.

I don’t know how to feel about Crisis, so we’re just gonna skip that, and I will say that I’ve really enjoyed both 5x10 and 5x11, the post-Crisis universe has been very good and interesting so far.

it’s almost like before then, the episodes had been… inhibited.

ha.

Kidding.

But seriously, on 5x11 as a whole:

I just want to say that I appreciated Brainy’s new aesthetic in the opening scene, as well as him setting things up so that he could get Winn out of there. That all was pretty cool, although what would he have done if someone other than Winn had gotten out of the bus first? What was that Winn thinking when he saw Brainy there, waiting for him? What are Brainy’s thoughts on time-travel movies, and would he like them enough to quote them?

it’s not guilt-free for you if you don’t need to feel guilt in the first place when eating chocolate because you don’t gain weight, Kara.

(the girls night scene was cute! I liked that that all was discussed, and I wish we got more scenes that were similar.)

I didn’t catch that Winn’s dad was into virtual reality at first, but that was very interesting and definitely made sense for the end of the episode. And I’m not sure how Lex knows so much about this alternate universe Winn? But he certainly got on his good side very well.

really big of Lena to admit that she needs Lex’s help, but they are working together, and this is a new universe where things are different now, so I feel like she meant it

love how Lena immediately is put off by Brainy being there, not because he was her friend and it’s weird that they’re meeting at that point, but because he arrived with Lex (was he in the same vehicle as Lex and Toyman? Or did he get there on his motorcycle?) and because he’s friends with Supergirl, which Lena knows very well. But Brainy’s acting was very good, and keeps him from being found out.

what exactly did Kara do to get her Pulitzer in this universe?

I hope that there is an action figure made of Supergirl in her new suit

I’m sure Lex really likes casually using the word “crisis”

damn. Kara’s slow walk out after she changed costumes was very cool, she looked very powerful and I love her

our Winn was Very Dramatic in the first scene he appeared in, but he’s still great and I missed him

also I appreciate how his suit is Ravenclaw colors, I feel like that maybe wasn’t intentional but it could be? I hope he designed the other Legionnaires’ suits to be more colorful, as well.

(I really want to see his reaction to Brainy’s new suit!)

I also liked the reveal that he has a wife and kid, that’s a perfect explanation as to why he’s stayed in the future (how long has it been for him?)

and I had no issue at first with his wife being named Ayla, because 1. my captions spelled it as Aila, so she could be someone completely different from the Legionnaire mentioned in 3x10, 2. if she really was the same Ayla, she could easily be bisexual and previously have been in relationships with women. who knows, we don’t have enough information. I’m upset about it as much as other comics fans are, and wish it was acknowledged, but on the show itself I think it’s fine for now.

Alex and Kara’s reactions to Winn coming back were so good, and if Brainy wasn’t trying to hide his emotions/guilt, I think he might’ve wanted to hug him too.

what “old friend” are you calling to keep the Legion ship safe, Alex?

I really missed Andrea, I didn’t realize it until now but I did and I want the best for her.

LENA’S FUZZY PURPLE COAT. it looked very nice and warm.

Secret elevator! (just imagine that in the tune of “Secret Tunnel” from Avatar the Last Airbender)

The tower!

I was almost expecting Kara to say “Arrow-cave” to be honest

it’s a very cool set in general, looking forward to seeing more of it, and I like the callsigns on the wall.

Winn, please tell us more about these very important things

my headcanon was that our Winn used the name Toyman as a way of reclaiming his father’s name for good, but I don’t think that works anymore. whoops

I feel like Alex might know something is up with Brainy? Or at least she’s going to suspect.

aw, I’m sure Kara felt bad about people writing articles about Winn originally. did she have to in season 3?

aww, I really enjoyed Nia’s reaction to the Tower, and her whole conversation with Winn. Also for what it’s worth I’m glad that Nura does still actually exist?

And she used her dreaming powers! I’m very happy about that! It’s good!

still no idea why Nia calls Brainy wildcat. I know it was because of that one movie Brainy referenced in 4x15 and 5x05, but… would appreciate an explanation, thanks.

Winn’s conversation with Kara is GREAT, this is exactly the kind of good heartwarming stuff I expected from a family reunion like this

I knew Lex was going to be sneaking around on a Legion ship! although we still don’t know how Brainy’s Legion ship is there, when we all saw it leave in the season 3 finale.

Uh… I don’t know how I feel about the fight scene? it’s fine? I like Kara’s super-speeding everyone out of there more, though

that Winn and Winn conversation was real tense and I appreciated it a lot

David did a very good job! this scene with William and Kara was kind of a natural progression of their already-established dynamic, and like you said, a way to make the next episode’s subplot for them seem more natural! of course Kara would take offense to that sandwich! people are just mean!

TRIVIAL PURSUIT PARTNER

what. did Winn and Brainy and everyone play trivial pursuit in season 3. when did they have time for this. is this how Kara decided to introduce the Legion to more 21st century pop culture. how did Winn decide that Brainy was a good partner for him, when they were rivals in the second half of season 3. I want to know.

anyway I love this scene. I love how easily Brainy tells Winn the truth and how genuinely sorry he is, and how much Winn understands Brainy and what he’s done, even if he’s still angry about what happened.

also Brainy crying when Winn calls him his friend is my reaction whenever someone says something really nice to me.

Brainy needs a hug, is what I’m saying. thanks.

lol I feel like the word “defiance” was really pointed there, for Jesse

also 

cousin? Cousin?? Cousin???

I know nothing about this. I thought Winn was stopping Brainy’s great-great grandfather. that completely threw me. I’m sorry. what’s happening with this, I want to know everything.

this Lex and Lena scene is very pretty and also very tense, and I’m wondering why Lena chose that beach image?

game night is very cute! I like that Nia is feeling better! Also Alex continuing to say “she’s terrible” while Kara is taking her turn at Jenga, a very sister-y thing

I can’t believe Winn is using the fake name “Marty”, he definitely did that on purpose, what a dork

yeah that last scene really puts the whole “Toyman is eternal” thing into a new light, doesn’t it

[initiala]

Hook-Echo (4/9)

Summary:  They’re in a rut. That’s what Deputy Emma Swan tells herself over and over again as her boyfriend, Killian Jones, grows more and more distant, and more frustrated, due to complications with his dissertation research on tornado formation. But storm season’s more than halfway over and this dry spell is doing nothing to make things easier for him–or their relationship. Will everything blow over, or is there a greater storm on the horizon?

Rating: E

Content warnings:  Graphic depictions of injury resulting from natural disasters, minor character death

Aw, this is the last chapter with this header. Now we’re going to get into some interesting changes... Thanks again to @optomisticgirl, @spartanguard, and @idoltina for all they did on this.

This is also on AO3 or FF.Net if that’s how you wanna roll.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Emma blinked, roused from a daze. She realized she'd been staring at the map of the county pinned to her wall, and from the way her neck pinched when she sat up straight, she'd been out of it for far too long. Ruby leaned against the doorframe, her arms crossed, while she watched Emma with a raised eyebrow and concern on her face. "Yeah," Emma said, rubbing the back of her neck. "Fine, what's up?"

"Well, whatever's so fascinating about McClain County, apparently," Ruby said, pushing off the wall and going to sit on one of the chairs. "You've been staring for like twenty minutes."

Emma sighed. "Just… thinking. Nothing bad, not even work related, which is not something that should be repeated to Graham or David, but whatever."

"Emma."

It wasn't bad, but she just missed Killian, that was all. Between their respective work shifts, and a few times Emma got called out on an emergency, it had been more than a week since they'd spent more than a few hours in the same house, let alone when both of them were conscious at the same time. The only thing she could be pleased about was the fact that, despite going to sleep and getting up at different times, Killian had come to bed every night. No late night storms, no pacing, no self-flagellation for something he had no control over.

And she kind of liked having to untangle herself from him to get out of bed.

"Killian's been getting better," Emma said finally. "Our schedules… not so much."

The smile on Ruby's face was downright wicked. "Ah, so you were in here fantasizing."

"No! Well. Kind of." She felt overly warm and Ruby started to snicker. "Not really, I just… We had a really nice morning last week and the entire world has been conspiring against us from doing anything else." Emma sighed. "Spring's been hard for him and it felt like there was this thing between us that forced us apart. Like a rut or something. And, I don't know, something just happened last week where he was finally like 'hey, I've been kind of a dick, let me make it up to you', y'know?"

"With his dick."

"Why do I even talk to you?"

"Sorry, sorry. Continue."

Emma pushed her hair back over her shoulder. "Well, to be brief about it, it was a pretty great make-up session and we had a nice morning, a blip with his advisor aside. And we haven't been able to do anything since and I just miss him."

In one of the rare moments they'd been able to talk face-to-face, Killian had told her that he'd scheduled his next meeting with Dr. Bhavsar. More than anything else, she may have been a little more glum about the fact that he was leaving for that meeting tomorrow and it might be another day or two before he could get back. But she didn't want Ruby to think she was a complete sap.

"Why not just go see him at the bar?" Ruby asked. Emma opened her mouth to protest, but Ruby held up her hand. "No, I'm serious. You and me, we'll go together. And we'll bring Mary Margaret, since David's on schedule for tonight, and I know she's dying to get out of the house for a little bit."

"She's a million months pregnant."

"She'll be fine," Ruby insisted, "and you know whatever fuss Liam will try to kick up about you distracting Killian at work will go out the window because he'll be all responsible and making sure Mary Margaret's comfortable."

Emma wanted to argue, she really did, but the way Ruby had phrased it, 'distracting Killian at work', sent some gears into motion. She pursed her lips, pretending to think about it, then nodded. "All right, sure. But I've got a condition on this plan."

As it turned out, Mary Margaret was more than eager to get out of the house for the night. Even over the phone, Emma could hear David's mild protesting in the background, but they agreed it would be good for her to get out and have fun with friends before the baby came. And since they weren't going very far, Mary Margaret felt comfortable playing designated driver.

After work, Ruby and Emma split to go get ready for their night out; the plan was for Ruby and Mary Margaret to come pick her up last. That worked perfectly, because it had been a while since Emma had had to actually put serious effort into her 'going out' look and she needed the extra time to be able to have a minor panic attack about everything.

But her hair curled just fine and she didn't forget how to do the perfect smokey eyeshadow look, and the form-fitting red dress she'd bought on sale last year still fit great, so she felt about as ready as she could possibly be for a public seduction of her boyfriend.

The bar wasn't really busy, which was both a blessing and a curse for Emma's plan. Part of her hoped things would pick up over the next hour or so, and part of her thought if it stayed pretty dead then it might mean less glaring or thinly veiled accusations from Liam, but then she caught sight of Killian staring at her in a sort of stunned disbelief and decided it didn't really matter anyway.

Everything would happen according to plan and she'd happily tell Liam to go fuck himself if he said anything about it.

"Go get 'im tiger," Ruby hissed in her ear and then she and Mary Margaret went to claim a table for them.

Emma's back straightened and walked in a confident way that made her hips sway; Killian's mouth fell open a little and his eyes were practically glued to her sky-high heels. She watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed and she leaned over the bar a little, the low cut of her dress giving him an eyeful. "Hey," she said. "I heard this was a pretty good place to get a drink in town."

"Emma, you are trying to kill me," Killian muttered, absolutely staring down her dress.

She tilted her head to the side. "Sorry, have we met somewhere?" she asked, and his eyes snapped up to hers in confusion. She tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Me and my friends are just passing through," she continued. "But we've been in the car so long we just really needed to stretch our legs and find out what all this little town has to offer."

Killian's eyebrow ticked up as he understood her game; something in his whole body, his entire demeanor, shifted as he decided to play along and it sent a thrill through her to see him rise up and take her bait. "I see. Well, far be it from me to deny three beautiful women some of our good ol' Southern hospitality."

Emma grinned at his terrible Southern accent. Hers was no better. "Well, shucks, mister, that's awful kind of you."

He shook his head, a wide grin split across his own face, and picked up a few glasses. "So, what can I do you for?"

Oh you can do me alright, she thought, but placed an order to get them started. While he worked on mixing some drinks, he asked her name and after their reasons for 'traveling'; Emma decided to go with her real name and then tossed out a few fake answers. Something about getting Mary Margaret home to her mother before she had the baby and a road trip all in one, something none of them would ever risk and if only because Eva now lived six blocks from here, instead of in Dallas where Mary Margaret had grown up. Killian was nice enough to add a pineapple and cherry garnish to the "pineapple rum slush" he'd made for her (which was really just pineapple juice, a little seltzer for the zing, and blended up with some ice) before putting Emma's beer and Ruby's Long Island on a tray with it. "Fruit's good for the baby, even if a bar isn't," he said, winking as he slid the tray to her.

Emma smiled, picking it up easily from years of experience. "I'll remind her of that, thanks. You, uh, are you working all night?"

"I'll be around," he said slinging a washrag over his shoulder. "If you find you need a refill, Miss Swan, just ask for Killian."

She gave a sultry smile and said, "I will," before walking back to the table with that sway in her hips and knowing without looking that he was staring at her ass.

"I was ninety percent sure he would just haul you over the bar," Ruby said when Emma put the tray on the table.

"I thought his eyes were going to fall out of his head," Mary Margaret said, taking a sip from her drink. "Oh, this is really good."

"He caught on pretty quick, so I think it'll be a fairly successful evening," Emma said, glancing over her shoulder towards the bar. "And he said to eat the fruit for the baby."

Mary Margaret rolled her eyes. "I swear to God, between him and David, this kid's going to be an Olympic athlete before he can walk. Healthy food this, nutrients that. If I hear the words 'folic acid' one more time I'm going to scream."

Ruby and Emma shared a glance, then chorused, "Folic acid," and were immediately rewarded with a growled shriek before Mary Margaret bit into the pineapple slice.

"So," Ruby said, stirring her drink. "Bets on how long it takes before David shows up as part of a 'routine walk-through'?"

The next couple of hours went by in a bit of a blur; despite the fact that Emma would get up to get refills and ramp up the flirting between her and Killian, she also just felt herself relaxing from hanging out with her friends and catching up a bit. The last time they'd gotten to really hang out was months ago, after Emma and Killian had moved into the house and before the baby shower. All of the baby and life updates Emma got were from David, and though she worked with Ruby, both of them tended to get sucked into whatever it was they were working on and didn't have time to dive in and really chat.

So it was going to be a good night for multiple reasons.

The second of which was about to happen, if Emma could play her cards right.

She went up to get another drink refill; she hadn't seen Liam yet, which probably meant he was the one cooking tonight and that was just fine with her. There was one other person working the front with Killian and it was slow enough that he'd probably take her up on her suggestion if she could figure out how to word it right.

But Killian, it seemed, wanted to turn the tables on her.

"Ah, can't get enough of me, can you?" he asked, taking the glasses from her and putting ready-made refills on her tray.

"Look at you anticipating my needs," she teased. "Someone's looking to make a pretty big tip tonight."

"Anything I can get from a beautiful lass such as yourself I'll count as a blessing, love," he said, and pressed something into her hand before she could move back from the bar.

Emma's eyebrow went up, but he was walking over to take care of a customer on the other side of the bar before she could venture any clever pick-up lines about tips. Shrugging to herself, she went back to the table and set the tray down before looking at what he'd given her.

Back office. Five minutes.

A note scribbled on a napkin, how... Killian of him. Emma bit her lip, grinning, and tucked it under her drink. "I'm going to use the ladies room," she announced, getting up.

Mary Margaret toasted her and to Ruby's eternal credit she did not whoop or cheer as Emma went to the back hallway where the restrooms and the administrative office was. She did stop and use the bathroom quickly - she had been drinking, after all - and then ducked into the office before her time limit was up.

Not even a minute after she'd closed the door behind her, Killian strode in, locking the door behind him before seizing her by the shoulders and kissing the living daylights out of her. "You," he said between kissing her cheeks and along her jaw and down her neck, "are a bloody minx and are going to be the death of me."

Emma giggled as he latched on to the juncture of her neck and shoulder, sucking a mark there; he slowly walked them backwards and when the backs of her thighs hit the desk he tried to get her to sit on it. His hands ran down her sides and then up again, squeezing her breasts and making her squirm with anticipation. "I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm really not," she said breathlessly. Instead of sitting, she gently pushed him back and indicated he go sit in the office chair. He looked at her in confusion and it only made her smile wider. "I came in here tonight with a plan, buddy, and there's no way you're going to derail that."

He raised an eyebrow with interest and sat at her behest, settling back to wait for what she had in mind. Emma wet her lips, propping one hand on her hip as she looked him over: his hair was sticking up from a gesture she knew well, the one where he gripped the front in frustration when a customer gave a complicated order; his lips were puffy and full from kissing her; his eyes roved over her body, drinking in her short dress and the way her shoes accented her calves.

She smirked.

"Now, do you remember when you were so very cruel to me," she said, sinking down to her knees in front of him, "and you denied me the chance to suck you off?" Emma watched him swallow hard as she ran her hands up his jean-clad thighs. "And then, to make matters worse, you got me all riled up again and just... sent me off to work?"

She palmed the now very apparent bulge at his crotch, watching his jaw work as he struggled not to cry out. Her fingers rested on his belt buckle and she met his eyes with hers. "I asked you a question, Killian."

His eyes widened and she saw his pupils were blown out, a combination of arousal and the dim lighting in the room. "Yes," he said, his voice raspy.

"Yes what?"

"Yes, I remember denying you. Twice."

She smiled; they'd played a similar game to this before and he was very good at remembering the rules. "Good." She lightly squeezed his cock through his jeans and he groaned, his hips bucking up into her hand. "Do you remember what else you did to me that day?"

His Adam's apple bobbed and a jolt of desire shot through her. "N-no," he said.

She squeezed his cock harder and he gasped, just on the edge of a whine, his back arching off the chair a little when she didn't let up. "Now, Killian, what have we said about lying?" Emma asked, arching an eyebrow.

When he didn't answer she tried another tactic, sliding her hand up his shirt and tracing her nails across his stomach. His muscles twitched under her fingers and she bit back a smile. "Good boys don't lie," Killian rasped finally and she lightly stroked his stomach in approval.

"So you do remember what you did?"

He nodded as her fingers traced the waist of his jeans. "I sent you pictures. I made myself come and sent you photos of it."

Emma licked her lips, thinking fondly of those photos. "I had to spend that whole day thinking about what you did to me in bed that morning, waking me up with your mouth on me, making me come with just your tongue. Thinking about the way you fucked me." She stroked his cock, loving how with every act she mentioned he breathed harder, as if he was holding himself back from repeating all of it right here on the floor of the office. "I'd finally gotten myself under control, and then my phone goes off, and I find out that I have a little treat waiting for me. All of that, and then I was stuck in my office all day, dripping wet, and couldn't do a damn thing about it.

"Worse, we haven't seen each other for more than five minutes to do something about it."

Killian opened his mouth, probably to protest, but she shushed him with a finger. "Oh, don't worry, I took care of myself," Emma said, still stroking him through his jeans. His nostrils flared. "Oh yeah, a few times while you were working late, I got myself all worked up again and had to get myself off."

"Emma-"

"So," she continued, as if he hadn't interrupted, "since you denied me twice, teased me, and left me to take care of myself, I'm going to finish teasing you and take what's mine twice. You're going to sit here and watch me take it, and then you're going to walk out that door and go back to work like nothing happened, alright?"

His jaw worked again and then he nodded. "Yes."

Killian sat back, watching her intently as she deftly undid his belt buckle and freed his cock from his jeans. Emma licked her lips, then held his eyes with her own as she took the head of his cock into her mouth.

His eyelids fluttered as she started to suck, but she squeezed the base of his cock with one hand to remind him that she wanted him to watch.

This wasn't the first time she'd given him a blowjob in this office, but it still thrilled her and turned her on every time they managed to sneak away from their (his) responsibilities and take a little time for themselves between their hectic schedules. Many of their trysts throughout their relationship had been quickies in the alley behind the bar or in this office when he'd gotten off work and they knew it would be their only time for ages to have any alone time together.

She'd kind of been hoping moving in together would fix that, but apparently not.

Emma took her hand away and took as much of his cock in her mouth as she could fit. Killian made a strangled sort of noise as she swallowed and hollowed out her cheeks as she pulled away. Taking him in hand again, she ran her tongue up the side of the shaft, watching as he struggled to keep his composure, and then swirled her tongue around the head again and again. She lapped at his slit, tasting the salty precum, and smiled to herself when she felt him pulse in her hand. He wasn't close, not yet, but he was definitely getting there.

She took his hand and guided him to grip her hair. She loved it when he guided her through sucking him off. She felt herself getting wetter as he took over, his grip on her hair just tight enough to send sparks of pleasure shooting through her body, and she moaned around him as her head bobbed up and down on his cock.

His hips jerked again and she tried not to gag as he unexpectedly hit too deep. "Sorry," he rasped.

"S'okay," she said when she came up for air.

Her jaw needed a bit of a rest but her hand kept stroking him, listening for each hitch in his breathing as she found all of those little, secret spots of pleasure around the head of his cock. His hand still in her hair, he kept massaging around the back of her neck just the way she liked and Emma felt like melting into the floor. "Getting there?" she asked.

He nodded. "Wanna come inside you," he said, his breath hitching again as she squeezed just right and popped the ridge.

She grinned, slowly, and his eyes widened again. "Good thing that's just what I had in mind," she said, and let go of him.

He made a whining noise as she stood but she ignored him. She yanked up her dress, smiling as she heard him inhale sharply, and dropped her panties, stepping out of them lightly. She dangled them on one finger in front of his face; he stared at her like she was some sort of hallucination, a creature out of his wildest dreams, and her core clenched at the thought. She let them fall onto his chest and went to the wall, bracing herself against it. She coyly glanced at him over her shoulder. "You gonna do something about this or not?" she asked.

Killian scrambled to his feet, her underwear falling to the floor, forgotten, and his own pants falling around his ankles. "You're not real," he said, kicking her feet apart roughly. Emma bit her lip as he gripped her hips and palmed her ass, lightly smacking her and then running his fingers through her slick folds. She shivered, more arousal dripping down and covering his fingers. "I dreamed you up, I had to have. There's no way this is real."

"Fuck me and find out," she said and felt the head of his cock brush against her inner thighs.

His hand moved away and then he nudged her entrance. She bent over a little more and he took her in one smooth stroke. "Fuck," she whispered, the stretch and burn exactly what she'd been wanting.

His fingers on her thighs gripped hard enough to bruise but she didn't care; she'd wear them proudly. He thrust into her hard and fast, the slide of his cock inside of her sex making her tingle from head to toe with pleasure. Her legs would feel like jelly after and the heels would be the most stupid wardrobe choice ever, but right now they gave her the perfect height to let Killian slam his cock into her over and over again. Emma groaned deep in her throat and reached down to rub her clit; she knew he had to be close after her attention to him earlier and she wanted more than anything to come with him, but his hand slapped hers out of the way. "Mine," he growled and the spike of arousal she felt at his possessiveness outranked anything else she could have done to him tonight.

His fingers were rough on her sensitive clit but she needed it. She reached back and grasped at his hip. "Please," she chanted, and he grunted, leaning over her back and driving his cock into her, if at all possible, even harder.

She'd been wired practically since setting foot inside the bar, the way he'd watched her stroll up to him with his mouth agape making her feel sexy and powerful. Her legs quivered as he pressed his fingers against her clit. The way he'd given himself up to her as 'punishment' for his naughty behavior had only heightened that and turned her on; she loved to watch him submit to her, just as he loved when she did the same for him. The needy, desperate grunts in her ear pushing her closer and closer to the edge. And this, a quickie in the back room before either of them could be missed, just turned her on more. The need to be quiet fighting the desire to scream her pleasure to the world - let everyone know just how fucking good Killian Jones was and how he was hers-

Her heartbeat pounded in her ears as she came, wave after wave of pleasure cresting through her body, and she buried her face against her arm to muffle her moans. She was dimly aware of Killian's jerky movements behind her as he came, too, her own orgasm squeezing him dry as they fell together.

Emma winced when he pulled out of her, not expecting how sore she'd feel, but it was absolutely worth it. She straightened slowly, her movements languid and feeling a little fuzzy with the haze of pleasure left over after her orgasm, and was rewarded with seeing Killian wiping the sweat from his face with the bottom of his shirt. She wet her lips again, eyes trailing down the hairy expanse of his stomach down to where his cock was slowly softening again. Killian caught her eye and smirked before pulling his shirt over his head. She watched him, confused, before he pulled a spare shirt out of a filing cabinet and pulled it on. "I'll say I spilled something on the other one," he said, winking.

She watched him pull up his pants and awkwardly scrunched her dress back down into place, slightly regretting the tightness of it. "I won't tell where you really spilled something," Emma said, feeling his come dripping down her thighs and making a note to stop in the bathroom again.

She went to grab her panties, but Killian got there first. He dangled them in front of her face, not unlike the way she had to him, before stuffing them into his pocket. "I think I'll hang on to these," he said, grinning.

She gaped. "You're such a jerk," she said, only slightly kidding - she really wasn't looking forward to spending the rest of the evening without underwear, not when she wasn't sure how much of herself she could clean up before returning to the table.

"A souvenir of our tryst, if you will," Killian said, leaning over and kissing her cheek.

"Still a jerk."

He kissed her lips next and she moaned, cupping his cheek as he slipped his tongue between her lips. His arms went around her waist and pulled her snug against him, his hands warm on her hips and his fingers pressing soothing patterns against her. "Love you," he said softly when they parted.

"Love you too," she said.

He winked as he unlocked the door and left her with wobbly legs and sticky thighs. Jerk distracted me with kisses to make me forget he has my underwear, she thought, glad that the bathroom was just across the hall. She just hoped she wouldn't leave a wet spot on the back of her dress, she didn't have anything to cover it with if -

His shirt.

She'd had a terrible habit of stealing Killian's shirts before they moved in together, enough that he'd actually found shirts in her dresser that he'd forgotten he ever owned. She liked using them to sleep in, letting the mixed scent of laundry detergent and Killian soothe her to sleep. Having the real thing in bed next to her helped curb that particular habit, but it wouldn't be so unusual if she came away with one of his Pour House shirts.

She snatched it up and slipped into the bathroom, cleaning herself up as best she could with the limited supplies at hand. She waited a bit more until she felt like she'd done as much as she could to limit any potential leakage, then did a quick spin in front of the mirror to make sure there wasn't any evidence on her dress. Then, to make the quick story she'd concocted in her head more plausible, she slipped the shirt on over her dress, feeling some tension leave her shoulders as she breathed in Killian's scent. It hung long on her, long enough to cover her ass if she tugged on it, so Emma exited the small bathroom with no small amount of satisfaction that everything had gone according to plan.

And promptly ran straight into Liam.

"Shit, fuck-" Emma blindly reached for the door frame, or the wall, or anything to keep her from falling on her ass.

"Emma." Liam reached out and steadied her, but there was a tone of foreboding in his voice that put her on edge. "You look…"

He drifted off, as if he wasn't sure how rude he was going to be about her attire. She glanced down: yes, the maroon of The Pour House t-shirt she wore clashed with the red of her dress, but in all fairness the skirt of her dress was so short that it almost didn't matter. Looking up at him, she raised an eyebrow. "Is there something wrong with how I'm dressed, Liam?"

His lips flattened slightly. "I just wasn't aware that the latest trend was an obscenely short skirt and a mismatched shirt on top."

Of all the things he could have said, this was hardly anything of note. "Killian said my dress was distracting," she said offhandedly. "I'd think you'd be proud that he'd give me something to cover up with."

"Yes," Liam said, and she knew immediately that he saw right through her. "Which is how I know that's not quite how you came to acquire the same shirt he came in wearing tonight."

Shit. "How would you even know that?" Emma countered.

He waved his hand. "There's a bit of a bleach stain near the collar, he only wears that one when he's annoyed with me." It was Emma's turn to frown. Who knew Liam Jones was actually Sherlock Holmes? "I also find it interesting that you came in wearing that," he continued, gesturing to her dress, or at least what little of it he could see, "knowing that he'd be gone for the next few days."

Emma pursed her lips, doing her best to keep a lid on her temper when it came to Liam and his opinions of her relationship with Killian. "And I find it interesting that you still don't understand anything about what goes on between me and Killian."

He chuckled mirthlessly. "Oh, I know far too much about what goes on between you and my brother. Such as the little incident last week when your rules kept him from going out to chase, causing him to miss a definite hook-echo and a confirmed tornado."

Her jaw actually ached from clenching it. "He didn't know for sure until late, and there's no guarantee he'd even have caught up with it in time-"

"But we'll never know that for sure, will we?"

"No, which makes your argument twice as stupid. We already talked it over, Liam, like an actual couple in an actual relationship, and we both apologized. So I'd appreciate it if you didn't go digging up dead horses to keep beating on them."

He shook his head. "We'll see. He might not be able to graduate with all the data he's missed, his advisor might hold him back again. It would be too bad, really. He's all hopeful about finalizing his dissertation-"

"God dammit, Liam, I know why he's going to Norman," she snapped, her restraint on her temper snapping. He was only being flippant to piss her off at this point, and she hated that it was working. "I'm the one who told him he should go. I live with him. I see how frustrated he is every single day, he needs to talk to someone who knows what the hell he's talking about when he talks about isobars or CAPEs or instability indices."

Liam's face clouded. "Then you know very well he needs to focus on what he needs to talk about when he goes!"

Emma scoffed. "Right, because he gets a lot of time to stop and ponder the mysteries of meteorology while he's tending bar. I completely forgot his workstation is back there and he can run experiments in between pulling pints. Please, if you really thought that then he'd have tonight off and we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"No, we wouldn't," Liam said, agreeing with her for once. "Because if he had been at home, you two would have done whatever it is you did to foul up my office in your own home and he wouldn't have any blood left in his brain to think about anything at all. He'd go into his meetings tomorrow without a clue of what to talk about because all his energy had been wasted in fucking you." Emma's mouth dropped open in stunned shock. "At least here he might have had a chance to think without you lurking about distracting him, but I suppose we don't live in a perfect world."

To her eternal embarrassment, she realized her eyes were stinging with tears. Liam had never really approved of them, but this stung worse for some reason. "No, we don't live in a perfect world," she said, giving herself a moment to make sure her voice wasn't shaking. "If we did, you'd understand that not everyone was a goddamn robot like you, without emotional wants or needs."

She turned and marched off towards the table before Liam could get another word in. She signaled to Ruby and Mary Margaret that she was leaving, and barely made it outside before she finally let those tears fall.

Three years ago…

It became a weekly thing, Ruby and Emma going out to the bar; Emma found it was more comfortable after she invited David, the other rookie at the department, to join them. She didn't feel like the lone cop hanging out and spying on people, and she had someone to talk shop with if Ruby got to chatting up someone else. And she liked David; he wasn't that much older but had the kind of passion for corny jokes and doling out tidbits of wisdom that she imagined the father she'd never had might.

The tidbits of wisdom grew less wise and even less coherent the more he drank, and with Ruby to ply him with more of those craft beers he liked so much, they heard more of those than the good ones.

"Please tell me you've got insurance for dart injuries," Emma said one night as she took a seat at the bar. It was her turn to refresh everyone and she was more than happy to get away from David trying to play darts over in the corner. It didn't help that there was a new girl joining them tonight, a teacher at the elementary school named Mary Margaret, and David thought this might impress her.

"I'll have to ask Liam," Killian said, watching the game with impish interest. "I don't know if that falls under liability or health."

Emma leaned on the bar, glancing over her shoulder and smiling at the scene: David trying to throw straight, thinking he'd landed it, looking expectantly at Mary Margaret, who - as she should - was looking at him like he was a few crayons short of a box. "If it gets much worse, I can stop it for drunk and disorderly conduct. Or just like, for his own good."

"Ah, Officer Swan in action, be still my heart," Killian said, and she knew from his tone he was only half-joking.

This was another thing that had become a semi-weekly occurrence. Despite their somewhat awkward first encounter, Emma definitely picked up on the fact that Killian was into her. And he wasn't weird about it - he smiled and flirted, gave her a free shot or two (usually with Liam glaring in the background), and none of their interactions gave her any indication that he expected anything in return. She'd watched him a bit with other customers, and yeah, he definitely flirted - to pull in tips. But there wasn't anything behind it, no heat or whatever; when it was just the two of them, Emma definitely felt like he was laying on a bit of charm.

But it was charm without expectations. Which was… kind of refreshing, honestly.

So she flirted back. Not all the time, just a little to let him know she was kind of, sort of, maybe interested. Which she was, she just… also wasn't sure if it was appropriate. And she didn't know who to ask about it. It was really more of an ethical thing than anything else, abuse of power or whatever, but it had enough pull to make her hesitant about giving him anything more than an inch.

"Easy, Jones, I left the handcuffs in my locker," Emma said, taking the offered glass of water.

"Pity, that."

She snorted, spraying water up into her face, and Killian tossed a hand towel at her while trying his best not to laugh (which was a piss-poor effort if it was his best). Emma glared at him over the towel, throwing it in his face when she was done. "You're the worst," she told him.

"I'm simply a man who knows what he likes, love."

Yeah well, I didn't need that image in my head, she thought, glad that she was sober enough to keep that particular thought to herself. She heard him chuckle, though, which is how she knew the warmth in her cheeks wasn't just from the crowded room or the alcohol she'd already drank.

She let him get back to work, if for no other reason than both Ruby and Mary Margaret had taken some not so subtle looks in her direction to see what she was up to. She waved the next time Ruby glanced over, then laughed at how Mary Margaret had apparently decided to show David what, exactly, was up and kick his ass at darts.

To his credit, none of this seemed to make David any less determined to flirt with her; and to her credit, Mary Margaret seemed to be into whatever that whole wobbly side-lean thing was that David had going for him right now.

Ruby looked torn between amusement and a need to vomit. Emma didn't blame her.

A tray nudged her elbow; Emma looked back, a little surprised to see Liam putting her orders on it. "Be careful with him, will you?" Liam asked, digging for a bottle under the bar.

"Who, David? I'm not the one you've gotta warn for that," Emma said, digging in her pocket for her money clip.

Liam side-eyed her. "I'm not talking about Officer Nolan; I'm talking about my brother."

She raised an eyebrow at that, wondering if maybe she had drank too much after all. There were a few possibilities at his meaning, but she couldn't really figure out what he was referring to or why he might bring it up now. The orders placed, Liam stood back, arms crossed over his chest in what was probably supposed to be an intimidating way, staring her down. "I'm not sure I understand what you're talking about," she said finally.

Let him make himself clear, then remove yourself from the situation.

She laid a couple of bills down on the counter while he continued to glower at her. "Killian," Liam said, as if that had been the cryptic part. "He thinks he's all smitten with you. Well, be careful how you tread with him, Officer Swan. He's come too far to mess anything up now; he's too close to being done with his research and doesn't need any distractions."

Both of Emma's eyebrows shot up, her mouth going slack at the accusation that she was just playing around, that she had no regard for how Killian would feel if anything were to happen between them.

Though, a part of her stung where Liam had gotten a bit too close to the truth, that she was just playing around. She wasn't playing around, though. Killian was a grown-ass man flirting with a grown-ass woman who decided to flirt back sometimes. They were both adults who could make their own decisions in this, Liam be damned.

Whatever 'this' was.

"Seems like there's two people in this mix, Jones," Emma said finally. "So why is it you're only talking to one of them?"

She picked up her tray and left before he could answer, silently fuming. Her return to the table was met with cheers and she took a hearty swig of her beer to wash the taste of that encounter from her mouth.

Still, despite how entertaining Mary Margaret and David's absurd flirting was, Ruby seemed to pick up on the fact that Emma wasn't in the 'having fun' headspace anymore. "Okay, spill," she said, leaning in close over the small table. "I thought you and pretty boy were having a decent time up there but now you're really bringing the room down."

Emma rolled her eyes, taking another swig of her beer. "It's not pretty boy that's the problem," she said, feeling sour.

She repeated what had happened when Liam came to fill their orders, trying not to let her own hurt feelings stain the encounter; but Ruby was Ruby and you could never hide anything from her for too long. When Emma finished, Ruby was sending death glares Liam's way; her eyeliner and dark red lipstick only served to make her look more menacing and Emma was suddenly very glad that Ruby was one of her best friends. "He's slut-shaming you," she said, her sharp eyes snapping back to Emma's. "Without the... y'know, actual sleeping together part."

Well, that explained why Emma felt so irritated. "God, like Killian never looked twice at a woman before. Unless this guy has given the whole 'you're a distraction' speech to everyone who's ever dared to flirt with his brother before."

"He'd be hella busy if that was the case."

"You did not just say 'hella'."

Ruby grinned, reaching across the table and shoving Emma. "Seriously, though, Liam can be kind of an asshole. Personally, I think he needs to get laid, get that stick out of his ass-"

"Ruby."

"I'm trying, he's just not biting!"

"Not what I meant."

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Well, anyway, he's kind of an ass. And I'm sure there's some big brotherly concern there. And, to be fair, you did threaten Killian the first time you met him."

Emma scoffed, picking up her pint. "To prove a point. And because he was being kind of an ass." She paused, letting the rim of the glass rest against her chin as she thought. Maybe Ruby would have some kind of insight. "Though... I guess it just kinda stung about the playing around part. I'm not sure if I could date Killian, if it came to that."

"So you're thinking about it?" Ruby sounded way too interested in this possibility.

"Stop it," Emma warned. "Floating possibilities. But the fact that I did meet him because of a police call kind of... it feels weird. And I'm not sure if I should even consider anything if any part of this doesn't make me feel one hundred percent okay. Does that sound too, I don't know, priggish?"

Ruby held up a finger and downed the rest of her martini. She set the glass down and speared the olive, using it to point at Emma. "Okay, one, no one says 'priggish', so cut that from your vocabulary. Two, very few things make you feel one hundred percent okay with taking part in them; those things are massages that you're using a gift card to pay for, and an orgasm with a vibrator."

"Why an-"

"Because there's no messy human attached to the other end, and no one knows what you like better than you," Ruby explained in such a way that led Emma to believe this wasn't the first time she'd used this particular example. "You're supposed to take risks when it comes to meeting other people, because other people in general are just a huge risk. Is it your soulmate or a serial killer whose gonna use your femur in his coffee in the morning?"

Emma winced. "Ruby. Gross."

"But plausible," she said, sticking the olive in her mouth. "And three, it's not that weird to date someone you met during a work thing, even if the work thing wasn't completely on the straight and narrow. You didn't arrest him, you roughed him up a bit with words. It turned out to be a misunderstanding. It would be different if this was like, good cop shacking up with drug lord, but it's not. This isn't Detroit, this is Storybrooke. We don't have a lot going on here."

Emma sighed. As much as Ruby had a point, she still couldn't quite resolve that in her gut. "I'm still gonna talk to Graham about it," she said finally, taking another drink. "I don't want to find the one thing that's completely loophole proof."

"Nothing is completely loophole proof," Ruby said.

"The one thing that's completely Ruby-proof."

The other woman grinned and raised her empty glass in a mocking toast. Emma inclined her head and took a hefty swig of beer, just as Mary Margaret whooped nearby. "Bullseye!"

They tabled the discussion on Emma's theoretical love life and she really did try to enjoy the rest of their evening. She and Mary Margaret teamed up in doubles against Ruby and David; and considering she carried the entire team, Ruby held up very well on her own. David, despite his best intentions, only wound up putting more holes in Liam's walls and loudly declared the other team was cheating by moving the board on him.

It was around that time that Emma declared it was time to go home. "You're gonna get more drunk and then more disorderly, and we're having too a nice time for me to arrest you," she said, easing David away from the darts and towards the door.

"I'm a police officer, you can't arrest me," he said.

She hummed. "Yeah, no, that's not how it works in my book."

"Is your book the law?" David asked, slurring more. "Because my book is the law and my book is better than your book."

She tried her best to keep a straight face but kept snickering. Mary Margaret wasn't entirely sober herself but she still rolled her eyes as she picked up her purse. Ruby, who'd drunk more than either of the other women, looked fresh as a daisy and moved easily on her heels. "Come on, Officer Nolan, let's get you back home before the chief hears about this."

She led the way through the crowd, leaving Emma and Mary Margaret to guide David in her wake. Once outside, Emma shivered slightly; it was the end of June, but after being in the stifling bar all night the temperature shift was a shock. There was a rumble of thunder in the distance that told her it would get even cooler, and it only made her move faster - the last thing she wanted was to get caught in the rain trying to get a drunk man home.

"Swan!"

Emma paused in the street, turning slightly. Killian hurried out the door to catch up to them. "Liam's going to kill you for leaving early," Ruby pointed out, the next crack of thunder in the distance seeming to put emphasis on her words.

Killian waved his hand as if brushing the notion off; Emma thought she had a point but kept that to herself. "It's just for a moment and then it'll be as if I never left. Do you mind if I speak to Emma for a moment?"

She could practically hear Ruby's eyebrows go up, but it was Mary Margaret who spoke. "Ruby, help me get David down to the corner; he can lean on the telephone pole. Emma, we'll wait over there, okay?"

Emma nodded, grateful that they'd stay nearby enough to wait but not to eavesdrop, and then she was left standing in the middle of the road with Killian. She shifted her weight, crossing and uncrossing her arms as she tried to make herself feel a little less visible, a little less exposed like this. "So… what's up?" she asked finally.

He was looking at her with an expression she couldn't pin down to one emotion: a mix of hope, wistfulness, determination, maybe a little bit of fear. The next rumble of thunder sounded closer; the storm was rolling in, and he seemed to stand up straighter with it. She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry as she put the pieces together for what was about to happen. "Swan, I- I was hoping you might like to join me for dinner one night. Friday. Or Saturday, or… I'm afraid I don't know what the chief has you scheduled for, but perhaps we could come to some kind of agreement?"

"Killian-"

"Look, I know Liam's already tried to warn you off." Emma blinked at that; maybe this wasn't the first time Liam had pulled that particular stunt, or maybe he'd taken her jab to heart and talked to Killian too. "He's got it in his head that it's his job to keep me on the path, especially when it comes to girls. But I'm asking you to tell my dear brother to piss off and just come to dinner. Please."

Her lips pursed. The wind picked up a little, blowing some hair in her face. She reached up and tucked it behind her ear, glad for another moment to compose herself. "I'm not gonna lie. Liam didn't scare me, but he sure did piss me off," she said.

Killian winced, a streak of lightning throwing him into sharp relief. "Bloody hell… I'm sorry for him, truly. My last… well, I don't want to get into it, but my last relationship didn't go well at all and Liam seemed to take it more personally."

She still stung from earlier, and the looming conversation she'd decided to have about it with Graham stuck out in her mind. But she didn't particularly care for the thought of leaving Killian out to dry just because he had an overprotective ass for a brother or she had possible ethical conflicts. "I… I have to think about it," she said finally. "It's not Liam, it's… it's other stuff."

He seemed to deflate a little. "I see."

The wind ruffled his hair and she felt terrible for how pitiful he looked in that moment. "It's not that- Look, I want to," she said, admitting it to herself even as she verbalized it to him. "I do, it's just… weird, because of how we met. And I don't know if that's allowed, and I just don't- I just want to make sure we're on even ground first, okay?"

And just as quickly as she'd felt awful a moment before, it made her warm to see how much that little explanation seemed to brighten him up. "So you have to, what, clear it with an ethics committee?"

Emma winced as lightning flashed overhead and thunder rolled in hard on its heels. Dear God, she hoped not. "No, probably just have to check with my boss. I hope. I've never done this before."

"This?" he asked, his eyebrow quirking with interest.

"Gone out with a potential felon," she deadpanned.

Something in him shifted as he slid his hands into his own pockets, swaying into her personal space; that flirtatious air was back, the crooked grin and the raised eyebrow, and Emma had to actually bite the inside of her lip to keep from giggling. "Well, Officer Swan, rest assured that in the event that you do have to arrest me, I have every intention of cooperating with your requests and, ah, coming quietly."

Emma winced again, this time from just how awful that joke was, and covered her face. Killian barked a laugh, the sound carrying on the wind. "Here," he said, and she saw him pull his hand out of his pocket, holding something. "Call me, will you? Or text. When you have an answer?"

His number was scribbled on a napkin. As she reached to take it, he caught her hand in his grasp and pulled it up to his lips, brushing a kiss on her knuckles. The world seemed to stop in that instant, his lips lingering against her skin, her heartbeat pounding in her ears. Her eyes met his and held, each searching the other, and she wondered what would happen if she said 'yes' right now. "Think about it," he said, his breath warm on the back of her hand.

Goosebumps rippled up her arm and down her back and heat burned in her cheeks. "I… okay," she said softly.

Killian grinned, but it wasn't cocky or triumphant - no, it was just happy, and maybe a little bit relieved. "Okay," he said, punctuating it with a little chuckle of disbelief.

He let her go, the napkin with his number crumpled in her fist, and they stepped back from each other, matching silly grins on their faces. The wind picked up again and more thunder made itself known, reminding them both of the urgency to get inside and breaking most of the reluctance to leave. Killian turned back towards the bar, and Emma turned towards her friends, but at the curb she looked back; he lingered in the door, watching her go, and he raised a hand in farewell before ducking inside.

As she caught up with the others, a small smile still playing on her lips, she barely heard Ruby ask what he'd wanted to discuss. She only wanted to replay that moment over and over again in her mind, try to memorize how he looked when he was bent over her hand, the way his lips felt against her skin.

She was fucked and she hadn't even agreed to - hadn't even found out if she could - go out with him.

She just shook her head, hoping that would be enough to deter Ruby, but that damn smile wouldn't go away. And at any rate, Ruby wasn't one to be deterred. Emma just pulled her hand out of her pocket, still holding the napkin, and held it up, still smiling, as her friends gasped and shouted their joy - all while poor David, leaning most of his weight on Mary Margaret, slurred his congratulations while trying to remember how his feet worked.

"Nothing's set in stone," Emma said, trying and failing to sound rational and calm.

"It'll be fine, Emma," Ruby declared. "Even if I have to forge Graham's signature on some made-up ethics paper he'll claim we have."

"Ruby-"

"No, Emma, I will not tell you how many times I've done that."

Emma rolled her eyes and slung one of David's arms over her shoulders. "It's probably better if I don't know, anyway."

"The tagline of our friendship, baby."

"Oh my God."

Later that night, after everyone had gotten safely home, Emma lay safely in her bed, staring at the numbers scrawled on paper. Her phone sat on her stomach, still warm from how she'd been gripping it and typed and retyped several messages before erasing all of it and giving up.

Just tell him hi.

No, that's stupid. He said to text or call when we had an answer.

He didn't specify if the answer was just a general 'yeah let's go out on Friday' or if it was if we're allowed to date him.

What if he takes it the wrong way?

It's Killian. He's just going to be happy to see something from you.

Emma huffed, annoyed at the argument spinning around and around in her head. She listened to the gentle rain on the street outside, to the wind making the house settle, to the leaves rustling in the trees just outside her open window.

She picked up her phone.

Hey. It's Emma. Just so you have my number or whatever. You're probably still at work. Have a good rest of your night.

There. Simple. Straight to the point, an exchange of numbers, telling him goodnight. Satisfied, she plugged the phone in and went about her routine to get ready for bed.

She slept soundly until her alarm went off two hours before her shift started, and when she managed to blindly find her phone to turn it off, she saw there was an unread message in her inbox.

Hello, Swan. Thanks for checking in. Boring rest of the night, fyi, not much fun without my favorite constable.

Emma told herself the dopey smile on her face was from how tired she still was, how she hadn't had a shower or coffee to properly wake up. She didn't respond, clicking the screen off and getting out of bed, stretching.

The next time she texted, she'd like to have an answer to give him.

[legojacques]

Kent starts taking a photography class at a community college and ends up meeting a really cute guy there. The cute guy doesn’t know that Kent is a famous hockey player, and over time, starts to think that Kent is part of the mob...

(This was an idea on the Parse Discord that got really long. I want to come back to clean it up and redo it as an actual fic (or ficlet) at some point, but for now, enjoy the ideas that came out of the chat.) (@overheardattheaces)

Under a cut because it’s hella long

Lego: "I started taking a photography class at the community college so I could take really nice pictures of Kit." "Okay...." "But then I met this guy there and he doesn't know who I am and now I'm in too deep." "Why?" "He knows I like hockey. He wants to take me on a date... to a hockey game." "Oh shit." "He know nothing about hockey." "That's really cute." "I know." "You're really screwed, Parse." "I know that too."

Linnea: kent's saved by the fact it's the unlv team and he doesn't have a game that night. they sit towards the back and kent keeps his hat pulled down low

abigail: but what if this guy tries to take kent to an aces game

Tony: i have no idea whats happening but i want the shenanigans that come from "i cant go" "oh, why?" "uh. i have. a thing that night"

Lego: Kent: i work a lot Cute Guy: that's a lot of really weird hours and travelling. (OH SHIT HE'S A HIT MAN)

Tony: knlkdfsnkgjsI WANT THOSE MISUNDERSTANDINGS MORE Cute guy: Oh don't worry I understand. (FUCK I DIDNT THINK HITMEN WERE THIS CUTE)

Lego: Cute guy: I'M LITERALLY DATING AN ASSASSIN BUT I DON'T CARE BECAUSE THE DICK IS TOO GOOD

Linnea: kent's in vegas. he has lots of money. this kid seriously thinks he's stumbled into dating someone in a mafia ring. 

Lego: Cute guy: wow how'd you afford this house? kent: oh you know, investments and stuff cute guy: DEFINITELY MOB MONEY

Linnea: cute guy: bites fist investments???????????????????

taggianto: Look it's Vegas. Either he's with the mob or he's a hooker. 

Linnea: his friends are like: you're the one who got yourself into this. if you end up buried in the mojave that's your fault.

abigail: im living for this 

taggianto: Maybe he's a hooker FOR the mafia

Lego: oh shit. he's the femme fatale. seduce em and then kill em

Linnea: femme fatale kent omg this kid has a new story for his friends every week

Tony: i mean depending on what Kent's into if the cute guy finds something in Kent's closet--

Linnea: and they've seen, like, his fancy car and his shiny watch and the way he always wears sunglasses and hats low so he won't be recognized and he's clearly built..... friend1: you can NEVER break up with him. friend2: and pray he never wants to break up with you. friend3: it was nice knowing ya....

Tony: hfdlfgg why do none of them READ A PAPER 

Linnea: they're college kids?

allison (believesinponds): Vegas isn’t a hockey town. Lol

Lego: friend: if they find a body in the dump we'll know it was you

Tony: im crying

Linnea: cute guy: we went to this really vip club over the weekend and they just....waved him right in???? 

Lego: kent's got access to all sorts of exclusive and hot clubs in town

Linnea: friend: oh shit, he must be connected to the family that runs it 

Lego: friend: i heard that some mobsters do all their torturing in the back because the loud music covers up their screams friend: he took you there as a warning

Linnea: kent: so i was watching the news and they said these meteors are supposed to hit next week and be super visible if you can get away from city lights. wanna hit the desert? cute guy: that's it. he's done with me and i'm going to become scorpion food and my mom won't even get to bury me

Lego: lol. imagine the car ride out there. kent: (i'm being so romantic)

Tony: its so t e n s e on one side

Tony: but only ONE SIDE

Lego: cute guy: IM GOING TO DIE 

Linnea: kent just wants a romantic date with the perseids 

Tony: Kent keeps looking over and smiling

Linnea: they get to the spot and kent reaches behind the seats. cute guy flinches cuz this is it. he's gonna die. but it's a blanket kent: let's get out. get a better view. cute guy: he doesn't want blood in the car. of course.

Lego: cute guy: the blanket is for bundling up my body because it's easier to clean up

Linnea: cute guy: i've seen this csi before

Lego: cute guy: there's no signal on my cell phone

Tony: when you're already at stage 5 of grief, acceptance

Linnea: cute guy: if i at least get one more good lay, it'll be worth it, right?

Lego: cute guy: best dick ive ever had. at least i'll die happy cute guy: maybe cute guy: i hope he chooses something quick and painless

Tony: i mean sometimes, the only way to go, is during Relations™ 

Lego: so cute guy survives a tense night in the desert. he feels like he passed some kind of test but he's not sure

Linnea: but how does he learn the truth?

Lego: hmmmm....he doesn't.lol, just kidding

Linnea: and how hard does kent laugh when he finds out what cute guy thought? also looool when cg sees scraps

Lego: looooool. one day cute guy bumps into kent and scraps at a restaurant cute guy: okay we at least have it narrowed down to russian mafia

Linnea: scraps is canadian lol

taggianto: Mafia scraaaaaaps 

Linnea: lol it's post-game so they're in suits

Lego: Another time cute guy sees Kent with a bunch his teammates. They look like his bodyguards

Tony: I mean is Kent the smallest guy on the Aces You see all these guys in suits that are 6’0-6’5 surrounding this 5’10” dude and literally all you can do is be like what the fuck Anyone with any context is like “oh there’s the Aces” but if you know zero about hockey you’re just like “the mob is here”

Lego: Cute guy: on one hand, that's terrifying because they can break every bone in my body but on the other hand.... Kent looks so good

Linnea: friend: like, at least they won't break every bone in your body without his permission?

Lego: Cute guy: part of me is ready to be mob wife Cute guy: the other part of me is screaming run

Linnea: friend: ignore it. you can't run faster than the mob.

Lego: Cute guy: mob wives always look good though. Like I'm going to need to step up my fashion game. I always wear sweatpants.

Tony: I love that his concern now is his fashion game

Lego: He's seen Kent in his expensive suits. And even Kent's sweatpants are expensive.

gizelle from hell: Kent wears vetements nah jk he probably just has a lot of adidas and rebook gear

nerdflighter: somebody needs to continue this is absolute gold no wait I'll tell you how this guy finds out. this guy's name is,,,,,David. it's David. David eventually realises that Kent loves him for real and is not going to kill him in desert or something like that. and he loves Kent back so when David proposes, his proposal goes something like: "Kent Parson, I've loved you for almost 4 years now. you have an amazing dick, and you're the most handsome, generous, gentle, person I've ever met. even if you're in the mafia, I'd still like to marry you. would you make me the happ–” "you think I'm in the MOB?" [record scratch sound]

abigail: IT GOES ON UNTIL HE PROPOSES I'M DYING 

nerdflighter: ME TOO. they have a long sit down conversation about how DAVID THOUGHT KENT WAS IN THE MAFIA. FOR 4 YEARS. WHILE DATING HIM

abigail: oh also, when this guy and his friend's see kent after a rough game, with a swollen eye and cut lip, they are downright terrified, more so than they were before

nerdflighter: David's friend Eliza, drinking Starbucks: could've been worse. for a while there he thought you were a femme fatale

restfulinsomniac: They run into Tater at a bar and David is like “oh my god there’s a scary Russian guy glaring at us this is how it ends I’m just gonna get killed in the crossfire” 

nerdflighter: Kent, staring at Eliza: have I seen you before? Eliza is an intern in the PR department and the biggest troll ever

Lego: kent: hey so some the guys wanted to meet you . [nervous laughter] cute guy: oh my god they go to a low key restaurant where everyone is shifty and watching what they say because they've been warned by kent to not reveal his identity cute guy: definitely mafia

abigail: omg what if a fan approaches them when they're out like that

Lego: kent: [panics] [whispers to a teammate] can you take care of it? teammate: distracts the fan but what cute guy sees is the teammate leading the fan out of view somewhere to be "taken care of" at some point, cute guy overhears a conversation between kent and one of his friends kent: i need to tell him the truth. i feel bad lying to him. cute guy: [reveals himself] cute guy: it's okay, kent, i already know kent: omg you do????? how did you figure it out? cute guy: it was so obvious. the money. the hours. the bruising on your knuckles cute guy: i love you anyways kent: aw that's a relief kent now thinks cute guy knows he's a hockey player. cute guy continues on thinking kent is a mobster

nerdflighter: LMAOO. this is exactly why David was still under the impression that Kent is mobster by the time he proposes (does Kent think David has trust issues/an abusive ex bf because of the way he behaves around Kent's teammates?)

Lego: i mean.... if i had to meet a team of huge, hulking, famous hockey players, i'd act shifty af too. also, that's a lot of people to meet in one sitting

Lego: cute guy: so that scraps guy is hit man, right? kent: (aw he's so cute when tries to talk hockey. i think he means defenseman) kent: yes dear

Linnea: kent: he's an enforcer, yeah, but a total sweetheart behind the mask. 

Lego: kent: yeah he's a bit of a goon and he hits hard but he's always there when you need him

nerdflighter: scraps, a gentle boi, trying to make nice with David: so, I heard you're in college? David, screaming internally, heard from whom? your "friends"?: yeah, I study microbiology

Linnea: scraps: is that, like? the csi stuff? with blood? david: screaming internally, i promise i will not end up on the opposite side of the law from you no, it's bacteria, viruses, prions, cells. biology on a microscopic level. scraps: are you gonna be a doctor, then? if you do, i'm sure we can find you an opening. david: aaaaaaaaand now i'm going to be a mob wife and a mob doctor x.x

Lego: kent comes home one night with blood all over his clothes (from a bloody nose) cute guy: it's okay. i've been preparing myself for something like this. i know how to remove blood from clothes kent: oh wow that's handy

Linnea: cute guy: or is it better to burn them?

Tony: kent: Do not burn this its Versace i know exactly nothing about fashion ignore me

Lego: cute guy: i also know how clean car interiors too kent: i would never get blood in my car

Lego: cute guy to his friends: it's like he's a really hot james bond villian. he's even got the cat and everything

Lego: cute guy: did you ever have a different vision for yourself? like did you ever imagine you'd ever wind up as a, you know, for a living? kent: i mean, not really. it's what i've dreamed about my whole life cute guy: (WHO DREAMS ABOUT BEING IN THE MAFIA AS A KID???)

abigail: OMG. ON A SADDER NOTE. but what if kent tries to talk about jack to cute guy and he brings up the OD and cute guy is just like "yep his mafia friends couldn't handle this life" or "what if it was planned,,, is someone coming after kenny in that same way"

Lego: kent mentions "bad bob" a couple of times and cute guy thinks that he must be the godfather, mob boss guy. it's a very intimidating name

[willgayers]

uhhhh i need a reddie as parents hc

oh my god yes!!!!!

planned together w @remushlupin again

its also long again. do i even need to say this anymore??? all my hc’s are long i cant write them short sue me

lets assume they have a boy and a girl (*cough* neil patrick harris & david burtka *cough*)

so ever since the kids first arrived at the shared household of tozier and kaspbrak,,, richie would not put the polaroid camera out of his hands

he’d be taking pictures of the kids CONSTANTLY in every situation ever. bath time? absolutely. messy spaghetti for lunch? you bet your ass. play time on the floor? DEFINITELY. eddie changing the diapers? even then.  

“RICHIE ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RN?”

“well what! we gotta memorize everything!”

“nOT EVERYTHING”

richie’s also constantly emailing the photos to the rest of the losers because he’s such a proud dad

“this is rhiana eating. this is rhiana outside playing in the leafs. this is rhiana taking a bath. this is rhiana sleeping. this is rhiana —”

“okay richie great pics!!” (please no more)

“thanks! now here’s liam watching tv. here’s liam with the neighbor dog. here’s liam in his favorite overalls isn’t he just so CUTE—”

so many shopping for baby clothes!!! beverly’s also bought so many like every time she sees a cute baby overall or something she buys it immediately

they basically have so many colors like all the colors of rainbow

(obviously)

once the kids get a little older like around 4-6 all they wanna do is watch disney movies!!! and eddie and richie are down with it of course

just imagine reddie + kids movie night???? all of them cuddled up on the couch??? with a bowl of popcorn??? under a blanket????

mulan is rhiana’s favorite and little mermaid is liam’s favorite

richie of course learns how to do the voices to all the funny disney characters, his best ones are sebastian and mushu though and the kids LOVE them!!!! they love them so much and it just drives richie to do the voices even more so eventually eddie has to forbid him from doing them around bedtime because the kids will never stop giggling and every time they giggle richie’s heart expands like a trillion times so he will just continue with the impressions and it’s a CYCLE

in case you were wondering, richie’s the stay at home dad. i repeat, richie’s the stay at home dad!!!!!

he definitely does the laundry and dishes wearing a baby blue apron

eddie’s working 9 to 5 as an accountant and he fucking hates the job

richie and the kids decide to cheer him up and call him facetime calls and eddie’s immediately feelin better :“)

also. whenever eddie has to work a long day he comes back home to a ready bubble bath,, a warm prepped meal and a glass of red wine

eddie knows it’s gonna happen every time he’s coming home late but somehow he always forgets? so whenever he comes home and opens the door to see the dim lighted kitchen with a candle on the table next to his foil-covered plate and the wine glass he nearly bursts out in tears

richie’s a very caring husband™

but not that great with dressing up the kids

*one night when richie’s taking liam to the movies*

“honey … what is liam wearing???”

“he’s wearing fashion.”

“is that a… baby hawaiian shirt???”

“LIAM RUN TO THE CAR!!!!!”

anyway,,, how cute would christmas times be too?? like baking gingerbread cookies all of them around the kitchen counter together while listening to christmas songs ,,, richie and eddie forgetting about the kids for a moment when richie accidentally gets some red sugar frosting on eddie’s nose and eddie’s like “omg what did you do!!!” and richie says “you’re rudolph now” and boops his nose,,, and eddie just swoons and oh WOW they’re in LOVE and some disgustingly cute heart eyes to each other are exchanged before richie leans to kiss him and the kids go “EWWWWWWWW!!!”

imagining this just added 10 years to my life

richie literally spoils them SO MUCH

*reddie shopping for christmas presents*

“richie what is that?”

“it’s the doll house rhiana asked for”

“uhh yes and it’s also 200 dollars”

“,,, it’s the DOLL HOUSE ,, RHIANA ASKED FOR”

richie would fetch them the moon from the sky if they asked for it

also imagine the christmas mornings ,,, richie and eddie on the couch snuggled next to each other with cups of coffee/tea,, with smiles on their faces watching as the kids open the presents and it’s literally just the photo of a perfect family on a snowy xmas morning 

well lets fast forward a little again, the kids are like 8-10 now

rhiana has the prettiest dark, curly hair and her eyes are brown and beautiful

liam has light hair, it’s kind of like dirty blonde and he’s got blue eyes

rhiana has a lot of friends over all the time and eddie’s always making food and/or snacks and bringing them to the kids 

liam has like three good friends and they’re also constantly over but they’re mainly inside liam’s room playing video games. (or secretly listening to britney spears)

rhiana does karate and liam plays soccer

richie always drives them to school and practices ,, eddie always picks them up

they’re definitely at every competition/game cheering

“THATS RIGHT! KICK HIS ASS! KICK HIS ASS RHIANNA!”

that’s not richie by the way. that’s eddie

and at liam’s soccer games they definitely have the big foam thumbs and self-made cheer sheets

whenever liam scores richie’s gonna tap the person next to him on the shoulder and be like “tHATS MY SON!!”

and that one time when liam did the winning score,,, oh my god eddie screamed and richie accidentally threw his nachos to the air

at one karate competition, rhiana got kicked a little too hard and she fell on top of her shoulder, dislocating it

eddie and richie had sort of an argument after this,, whether or not they’re gonna let rhiana continue

eddie doesn’t want his daughter anywhere NEAR the karate ring anymore and richie thinks that if rhiana wants to continue she should

however she doesn’t want to do it anymore and richie notices she’s super sad all the time, so he suggests a new hobby and rhiana is like “like what?”

richie’s like well how about i teach you how to play guitar!!

rhiana learns acoustic guitar in like a freaking week and she gets so excited about musical instruments so she learns how to play piano and fipple flute and ukulele and wow richie’s so proud

liam gets interested in instruments too now that he has to listen to his sister practice in her room 24/7 (because of course richie bought her her own piano too), so liam learns how to play the bass

“kids, i think we should start a garage band!”

eddie cutting in between with slightly nervous laughter

“i think NOT, richie!”

lord knows eddie couldnt take it

times of horror ahead at the age of 12-13

so many “I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU BOTH!!!!“s

…because they weren’t allowed to play video games after 11pm anymore or go to slovenia with their best friend’s family or buy the shoes that cost 150$

(even richie’s getting a little strict now because eddie keeps on telling him this is your fault you spoiled them too much and now they walk around thinking im gonna buy them a fucking 2000$ smartphone)

richie’s hurt because his imitation voices aren’t funny to the kids anymore, instead they say he’s stupid and childish

wait did i say richie’s hurt? i meant richie’s heartbroken

because his kids his babies his best friends don’t want him around anymore they push richie away and rhiana even told him to ”get a fucking life, dad!!!!“

they definitely won’t let richie take any photos to the "baby photo” books that turned into a little longer than expected

so one night eddie walks upstairs to find richie crying in the bedroom with his head in his hands

“honey what’s wrong???”

“they hate me”

“richie they adore you. they’re just teenagers it’ll go away you know it”

and it does go away thankfully,,, and at the age of 15-16 they’re almost back to normal again. but now they’re just so teenagers

richie’s the good cop and eddie’s the bad cop 

one time liam comes home high

fun little fact; they’re looking after their neighbor susan’s cat for a week because she’s traveling and richie is stroking the cat on his lap as he speaks

(you know how bad guys turn around on the chair)

“well well well,,, look who decided to come home”

eddie has one leg thrown over the other and hands resting on top of his other knee with such a strict look on his face

liam goes pale as he turns around, his eyes are so red and he’s just. definitely not there

richie tilts his head

“are you… are you high?”

liam just looks at him before shaking his head slowly. like. way too slowly

“shit you got any left?”

eddie gasps and slaps richie’s arm who immediately then blurts out

“i MEAN— sHAME ON YOU, LIAM, THAT IS AWFUL AND THAT IS WRONG!”

later that night richie tries to get some sexy times but eddie’s still mad at him

“oh come on eddie it wasn’t that bad”

“yOU ASKeD yOUR SiXTEeN YEAR OLd SON IF HE HaD ANY WEED LEFt fOR yOU!!!!”

“…okay i guess it was a little bad but-”

next week rhiana wants to go to a party

surprisingly tho, richie won’t let her

she asks this over dinner and she on purpose asks this from richie directly because she’s sure he’s gonna say yes

“so dad there’s this party on friday and-”

“no.”

eddies eyes widen, rhianas jaw drops and liam raises his brows but he’s lowkey gloat that his sister gets told no for a chance

“what???”

“you heard me” richie just guides a piece of the steak to his mouth

“this steak is very good honey” he just speaks like he just didnt forbid something from his daughter

“thank… you”

“excuse me but why am i not getting to go to the party??????” rhiana is like uHhh WTF dad

“because i said so”

liam snorts

“OH MY GOD!!!”

“:)” richie

“but EVERYONE is going!!!!!”

“i don’t care you are not”

“LIAM WENT TO A PARTY LAST WEEKEND!!!”

“liam’s sixteen”

“I AM FIFTEEN”

“yes so wait one more year”

“!!!!UGH!!!”

liam decides to take advantage of this

“hey so uh, johnny invited me to this-”

“no.”

“???huh???”

“i said no”

“BUT YOU JUST SAID I COULD GO BECAUSE IM SIXTEEN”

“yes, and last weekend you got home high”

“BUT-”

“no buts. liam, you are… what do you call it…”

silence

“ah, right. grounded”

“GROUNDED???”

“really?” even eddie asks, confused

“YOU CANT GROUND ME A WEEK LATER, DAD”

“says who?”

liam is just gaping

“thats what i thought”

eddie’s lowkey turned on and needs to take a sip of some ice cold water in his glass

at the age of 17-18 liam starts dating some girl from his high school and both richie and eddie love her she’s a very sweet girl!!

she’s at the house constantly and now both eddie and richie realize that rhiana’s never once mentioned having a boyfriend?? and now they’re confused because she’s gorgeous and smart and funny and everything

richie thinks he’s such a scary dad that no guy would even dare to approach her

eddie just snorts and mumbles a "sure…”

one time eddie and rhiana are having some quality time together at the mall and eddie brings up the relationship subject even though him and richie agreed not to bring it up but hE CANT HELP IT

“so… any cute guys at your class?”

rhiana gets so pissed off and storms out of the restaurant and won’t talk to eddie for the rest of the day and eddies so confused like what did i do wrong??? honey i’m so sorry???? but rhiana won’t answer she just sulks for the whole car ride

when they get home she locks herself in the room and won’t come out and eddie has to tell richie that he asked her and richie’s like why would you do that and blah blah blah

anyway then richie goes up to knock on rhiana’s door

“GO AWAY!!!”

“it’s me”

silence

the door opens

rhiana’s eyes are all teary and her lower lip is shaking and richie’s heart drops at the sight

“,,,baby what’s wrong??”

rhiana bursts out in sobs and richie steps in to her room,,, pulling her to a hug and she just cries and cries

richie then asks again what’s wrong and suggests sitting down and talking about it

“i… the reason why i… haven’t… brought a boyfriend home is… because…”

“yes???” richie asks, his voice soft

rhiana sniffs

“honey you can tell me anything okay???”

“its because im gay, dad”

richie doesn’t say anything for a moment

it’s not because he’d be shocked but because why would his daughter feel awful about telling this to him??? to eddie?? her parents are gay,, she shouldn’t feel like this,,, but clearly something or someone has made her feel like it’s wrong and now richie feels so sad

“okay.” he just says

rhiana blinks

“o-okay?”

“okay. so you’re gay. lovely!”

rhiana lets out a stuffed-nose laugh

“really? that’s it?”

“well we can throw a parade if you want to”

rhiana just hugs richie and murmurs a “i love you dad”

she then gets the courage to tell eddie too and eddie tries not to cry because he’s actually so happy??? that his daughter is so brave to tell both him and richie ?? like he never would’ve had the guts and he never even did tell his mom he’s dating richie before they were 19 and richie pROPOSED but here his daughter is at the age of 17 ,,, and he tells her she should never be ashamed of herself and honestly the two of them have a long heart-to-heart conversation that really just,,, brings them so much closer than they ever were

liam,,, in his hetero relationship however…

“YOU BROUGHT A GIRL IN TO THIS HOUSE TO HAVE SEX????”

“eddie calm down. they’re eighteen-”

“SEX??? INSIDE THIS HOUSE??!!”

richie just ignores eddie and asks liam,,,

“just tell me you were at least using a condom?”

“yeah”

“a cONdOM??? YOU— oh MY GOD YOU KNOW WHAT A CONDOM IS!”

“baby isn’t that a good thing? the kids are being safe!”

“A CONDOM, RICHIE!!! SEX!! LIAM IS HAVING SEX!”

“okay can we PLEASE stop saying sex?!?!!,”

“THATS WHAT YOU’RE DOING! IF YOU’RE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO SAY IT YOU’RE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE IT!!!!”

“oh come on babe we were like sixteen when we first-”

liam gags and eddie gasps

that was a long, long night and a conversation for all of them. also painful

for poor liam especially

anyway overall they’re just the greatest family ever

ikea shopping together

painting the kitchen walls together and eating chinese takeaway food on the floor

disney land trips

family vacations 

movie nights

watching the ball drop from the tv at new years and shooting some fireworks from the backyard

(richie nearly set the house on fire once or twice tho)

when the kids were younger and it was date night and babysitters were needed…. losers club to the rescue!

stan and bill as godfathers,,, they always take the kids to museum tours or great restaurants

mike is their favorite because sheep,,, cows,,, chickens!!!! also he shows them pretty places and photos from when richie and eddie were teens which is funny because what the fuck is richie wearing and why does eddie have two fanny packs?????

ben and beverly always take them to cute ice cream shops or play board games with them

and when richie and eddie come back home/pick the kids up they’ve literally just missed them so much

PARENTS!REDDIE FOR LIFE

@superbyersbros @xbell22 @donthateonk8 @stenbroughbros@reddiebrekmyheart@itsgreywaterrichie @donvex @blueeyespurpleskies@ageorgymi@oh-youre-the-worst@eddiekaaspbraak @whipashwhipash @rissyq @richietoaster@edskasqbrak@urtury@bukiminajimu @kcutieeesblog @stansmansuris @adorefack @reddieaddict@icyeyes102@denbroughbill @graveyardshipper @taletellingsir@anxiety-freak-yuuri@rheddie@queertrashmouth @richiefreakingtozier@castletozier @tohzier @80soleff @lonewolfhard@low-key-dying @sad-synth @richietoaster @badboyharrington @beepbeep-losers@temptedtozier@kaspbraccs@kylieee827-blog @sad-synth @low-key-dying@officiallyreddie@reddietofall @stanleyboii @eternitynurarms@remushlupin@turtleneckrichie@rosegoldrichie @80srichie@asteroidbill@lonewolfhard @trashmouthgazebos @littlepointman 

[midcing]

okay so i have some New Kids.... they are all trash but some of them are trying their best which should honestly count for something imho... i’ll probably bring some more muses in at some point during this week bc i legit have 25 apps in my drafts right now and i just didn’t apply for all at once bc didn’t want to overwhelm myself... honestly tho? i want all the plots.... so like... pls like this and i’ll im you or come to me throwing ideas at my face so we plot and have some connections and threads ?? love my new trash sons pls ?? thanks !

JAMES WEST looks an awful lot like CHARLIE WEBER. HE is THIRTY NINE and while they’re LOGICAL, they have a tendency to get pretty CONTRARY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to POLARIZE by TWENTYONEPILOTS.

inspired by ;; frank delfino from htgawm, walter white from breaking bad and jaime lannister from game of thrones. 

a lawyer

has 2 daughters.

would probably start a war for both of them if they asked him to.

thinks his daughters are angels who can do no wrong. if he saw them murdering someone in front of him, he would probably come up with a reason why they were doing it and defend them which isn’t great bc they are both like wild kids who are not actual angels ( wc ?? anyone ?? i’m trash for families ngl )

sketchy morals at best? ? doesn’t think of himself as someone who would do anything wrong but if something wrong is being done for his benefit he is sure as hell not gonna stop it

got into an ivy league school because his father - criminal known for money laundering, corruption, and fraud - donated a huge sum of money to the college. will die pretending he got in on his own merit 

the older brother of my character mark west bc i love families sue me

would probably google ‘how to know if i am a dilf’

says thing like ‘lit’ and ‘on fleek’ to relate to the youth

pretends everything is fine until it blows up in his face

wants to much ! a perfect life, a perfect house, a perfect family, a perfect wife, a perfect job ! pretty good ? nah. not good enough for james west. scratch that and start again. everything must be 10/10

wants to be everybody’s dad even tho he isn’t a great dad to his two kids

will make your life choices for you if you let him

will bail you out of jail but only if he is allowed to give you a 3 hour lecture on Responsibility 

will logic his way out of moral conundrums

the kind of person that turns a blind eye to corruption if it benefits him in some way

tries his best, which really honestly can only be said about 5% of my characters, so i would give him some credit

if you ask him a question he doesn’t want to answer he will just straight up ignore the question and change the subject 

feels guilty about the way his helps criminals and does wrong stuff for his benefit and the benefit of the people he loves but also doesn’t try to change

aesthetics — watching the sunset through the office window, loud alarms playing an hour later than it should, unrecognizable reflection in the mirror, child laughter and the heavy feeling of stress in your chest, hushed whispers of assertions amidst a crowd, old wedding rings saved away after the divorce, big houses and empty space, thousand dollar watches, the smell of jail permanently stuck to a three piece suit, painfully happy memories, ignoring the way guilt makes it hard to breath, arguing in a favor of a guilty party.

FRANK HAMILTON looks an awful lot like DAVID HARBOUR. HE is FORTY ONE and while they’re DEVOTED, they have a tendency to get pretty UNPRINCIPLED. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SEDATED by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; hank from detroit become human and chief hopper from stranger things

                                                              tw: gambbling, alcoholism

a mess trying to pass for a functioning human being

he is a dirty cop that accepts bribes to let people off the hook and gets money from gangs to look the other way when he knows they will be doing something wrong somewhere bc he truly cannot bring himself to care

honestly i have no excuses for his behavior

has a huge problem with gambling. 

born in kola. lived in kola for almost 30 years. moved out after his marriage fell apart, but has recently moved back

the kind of human being who thinks blood and gasoline are sexy

the kind of person that goes All Fucking Out for things and then when things don’t turn out exactly how he expected them to he makes a fuss about it and goes like “why did i even bother?”

will call you out on your bullshit and then act like people just throw shit at other’s face like that. stare you in the eye after exposing you and ask ‘what?’

says stuff like ‘i might be a shitty person but at least i’m upfront about it’ and ‘i prefer not to get involved in people’s lives.’

there is no such thing as a acquaintances. frank either loves you with all his heart and would kill a man for you OR he hates you and the fact that you are able to talk annoys him

you’ve heard of overachivers ?? well frank  is here to present you A True Underachiever. he tries to do the bare minimum amount of work possible 

the personification of /r/notmyjob

would probably go to an underground fighting ring for fun

channels his unhappiness into unhealthy habits. drinks too much, smokes too much. doesn’t do anything to change the fact that he is unhappy

gambled his marriage away by which i mean he gambled everything owned away and kept trying to find excuses for it until she was done and left . he still loves her but he feels like shit and he doesn’t wanna drag her back into his shitty life ( wc ? pls ? )

moved away from kola when his marriage ended and went to las vegas. lived there until he got in dept there too and he couldn’t find anywhere else to play then came back to kola 

at some point was wide-eyed and hopeful and interested in helping people but slowly became unhappy with how he didn’t go anywhere, didn’t become better, greater, didn’t do more and then slowly things just went to shit

aesthetics — casual cruelty in the name of honesty, cigarette buds collecting on an old ashtray, crumbled dollar bills found between couch cushions, falling asleep at three o’clock and waking up the next day, bloody knuckles, handcuffs and police siren, the smell of alcohol in your breath at ten in the morning, unironed shirts and old cologne, knowing something is wrong but doing it anyway, ignored calls from concerned family members, remembering you have to do something just as it is too late to do it, the thrill in heartbeat when you land a punch in someone’s face, drunk steps stumbling out of the bar, begging people for one more chance.

SEBASTIAN “BASH” VANCOOP looks an awful lot like LIAM PAYNE. HE is TWENTY TWO and while they’re CHARMING, they have a tendency to get pretty SELFISH. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to PLAY ME LIKE A VIOLIN by JEREMY.

inspired by ;; hakeem lyon from empire and aaron burr from hamilton

that one sort of famous person that is always shirtless in other famous’ people instagram stories

treats people like things he can use and drop when he gets tired of

fake af. will say he likes you and then shit talk about you behind your back

that one person that goes ‘ooooooooooh you are gonna let them talk like that about you ?? ’ when other people are fighting 

only wears prada chanel and gucci

can actually be really nice if you get to know him but how ? when there are three hundred walls up ??

thinks people are gonna take advantage of him or make fun of him so he just doesn’t trust anyone. can’t get betrayed if you never let anyone in right ??

doesn’t understand internet culture

was born in an insanely rich family. his father was a famous movie producer and his mother was a famous movie star. picture like spielberg as his dad and kate winslet as his mom 

hates when people say like ‘Oh So You Are [    ]’s son?’

the first movie he was ever in was when he was about 5

he was in a bunch of movies from ages 5 to 12 but it was never really anything big. he was just the main character’s kid or that one kid that doesn’t get much screen time in movies like goonies

he never really liked acting but what else woUld he do ?? look at his family !! look at his legacy !! [ cue ‘wait for it’ from the hamilton soundtrack playing in the background ]

when he was 20 his father produced and directed a movie in which he stared. it was like his first Real role in hollywood action blockbuster. before the movie was out there was this whole hype about him and his dad working together and wow it’ll be awesome but it pretty much bombed. picture like After Earth bomb. everyone shit talking about him and the movie and how dumb it is on youtube bomb. the movie doesn’t get money to pay for itself bomb.

despite the fact that his parents said it didn’t matter. it was just a bad movie. everyone making fun of him and people shit talking about how he didn’t have his parents’ talent got to him real bad. he stopped acting all together.

his parents keep telling him to Do Something but he just doesn’t

is living in kola bc LA is a dumb of reminder of everything he thinks he did wrong

aesthetics — the blinding lights of camera flashes, the light feeling of being drunk, loud songs blaring through club speakers, interviews stopped halfway through, rude comments and anger, crowded parties in expensive summer homes, the overwhelming feeling in your chest when someone gets too close to fast, feigned charm and stranger’s company, running out of things to say after you have known someone for a while, wasted champagne dripping off a tilted bottle and loud laughter coming from the other room, the slow but continues pain in your heart that reminds you you are disappointment.

MATTHEW “MATTEO” DECKER looks an awful lot like JON BERNTHAL. HE is FORTY TWO and while they’re WILLFUL, they have a tendency to get pretty BLUNT. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SEVEN NATION ARMY by THE WHITE STRIPES.

inspired by ;; frank castle from daredevil, frank castle from the punshiner, frank castle from the born comics series. ( they are three different people, fight me ) seeley booth from bones in season five

                                       tw: alcoholism, ptsd, mention of army, and war

former us marine

mostly goes by decker. his family used to calls him matteo but when other people do it it’s like .. “no”

you have been heard of resting bitch face ? matteo is here to show you the resting i fucking hate you face

swears too much like Wayy too much

he can be honestly really fucking soft i’m ngl but then you gotta be that one person that breaks down walls and again ? who has the time for that ? in the twenty first century?

wants to take care of everyone but pretends he is not interested in people bc he “Knows” everyone is gonna die or leave so there is no fucking point

actually just pretends he isn’t The Absolute Softest for everyone and tries to keep them all at arm's length but then people say ‘hi’ and are nice to him and he is like ‘Fuck me now i like them’

can actually laugh and make jokes which is Impressive imo

but then goes back to being bitter and angry at life

too straight up about things : could heavenly benefit from learning how to read social cues

you have to Tell him things if you want him to understand it. you can’t go around dropping hints. he won’t get it.

drinks his coffee black and without sugar

enlisted when he was eighteen bc patriotism and american dream and red white and blue stars but then that slowly stopped being the point. then he was just doing it bc He had been doing that for years what else would he do ? and then at some point he just saw too much … and then when he was discharged he just Never came back

after he came back he couldn’t find a job and he didn’t know what else to do and he slowly started getting involved with shady stuff and now he sells drugs to pay the bills

disappointed in who he is right now. 

he is honestly Trying his very best.

aesthetics — punching a wall until your hands stings and your chest doesn’t anymore, the pleasant light feeling of holding back laughter, completed tasks and unachievable peace of mind, low chatter in dive bars in dark parts of town, questioning your belief system, roadside motels and failing neon lights, moonlight coming through the bedroom window, leaving the morning after, combat boots, loud honking cars and shaky hands, fighting the urge to shove someone away when you feel their touch against your skin, quiet places and pleasant loneliness, old dusty books and rock music, waking up multiple times in the middle of the night, whiskey mixed with coffee

OCTAVIANUS BRUNO GENTILLE looks an awful lot like FRANCOIS ARNAUD. HE is THIRTY SIX and while they’re ROMANTIC, they have a tendency to get pretty UNREALISTIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SOMEONE NEW by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; jay gatsby from the great gatsby, romeo from romeo and juliet, tom hansen from (500) days of summer, a slam poem i saw on youtube once

                                              tw: bullying, mention of learning disabilities and stutter

romanticized every bad thing that happened in his life.

will romanticize every bad thing that ever happened in your life.

the kind of person that says “things happen for a reason…”

goes by his middle name. honestly thinks his first name is the Most Stupid Thing In The World if you call him octavianus he’ll be legit annoyed. kids used to make fun of him at school all that jazz. just call bruno

he is legit in love with italian culture and history. his father was italian and he just highkey Cannot Shut Up About It

art history professor in kola’s college

the kind of professor that just loves what he is doing… you know when the professor like kinda looks excited that he is talking or sharing knowledge or just talking about shit they truly like ? that is bruno

a nerd but pretends he isn’t

could not do a one night stand without catching feelings if his life depended on it

loves people too much too fast with all his heart

there is an argument to be made for him not actually falling in love with people and just with the idea of love that he made up in his mind but let’s get to that when we get to that

will spend the entire lesson arguing with one student about how inaction in our current political climate is just as harmful as supporting people who are doing harm when he was supposed to be talking about impressionism or something like that

thinks people have a soulmate and he is just trying to find his

100% not only Shows up to slam poetry sessions but Helps organize them

real political. the type of person that rallies when things are wrong and gets others to do it

has too many exes

posts pictures with his current girl/boyfriends on instagram and then doesn’t delete them when they break up bc ‘that’s who i was at that moment’

can recite poetry for you in italian but do not let him trick you. he’ll only be around for the honeymoon phase of the relationship then he’ll be like wow this isn’t perfect. time to end it

loves art !! all type of art !! is terrible at all of it : writing, panting, photography. but he loves it and he does it despite being bad and he tells people to do what they love !! and follow their dreams !!

his parents got a divorce when he was 7 and it was pretty bad. his dad was italian and moved back to italy shortly after. his mother was from kola and he stayed with her.

it was as if his world had fallen apart at that. bruno had never even seen his parents fight and then one day his father just moves out to Another Country he was pretty lost and confused

bruno moved back and forth between italy and the u.s. throughout most of his childhood and adolescence. never spending a lot of time in one place.

though his parents tried to remain friends after the divorce for his sake it never really worked out. his father wanted his mom back while his mother moved on and got married again.

growing up, he had a lot of trouble with accents and language. his father used to speak only italian at home. and his mother used to speak only english.

he developed a learning disability and a stutter after his parents got divorced

kids in school used to make fun of him. the way he talked and his name specially.

doesn’t stutter anymore but when he is talking about something that is hard to talk about, he talks really slowly to make sure the words come out properly

aesthetics — ukulele songs playing softly in a room with echo, piano recitals with ten people in the audience, walking around aimlessly, kissing greek statues, being happy that you are sad because it means that you are alive, cheering on others success, lacking ambition and living the present, old songs hummed in the shower, waking up early and staying in bed until 10am, cuddling under warm blankets, failing in love with a stranger, laughing loudly with new friends, white wine, beautiful paintings in an empty museum, admiring something for way too long,

ANTHONY MILLER looks an awful lot like JOSH DALLAS. HE is THIRTY NINE and while they’re PATIENT, they have a tendency to get pretty SELF-RIGHTEOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to JACKIE AND WILSON by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; prince charming from once upon a time, ned stark from game of thrones, bob belcher from bob’s burgers

                                                                      tw: cancer

cannot talk about his feelings . cannot accept his own mistakes . cannot show weakness . at any point. no matter the subject . cannot let anyone take care of him.

Must be the best at all times for everyone and take care of everyone

self-care is a myth anthony does not believe in

works too much

he needs glasses to read stuff but he pretends he doesn’t so he does that squinting and pulling things close to his face thing. at which point you would probably ask ‘anthony if you don’t want to wear glasses wouldn’t it be easier ? to just ? wear contact lenses ?’ and yes it would it definitely would but anthony likes to make things harder for himself

slow to anger but he has that temper that you literally cannot see coming. he looks serious and stoic and then wow thunderfucking storms breaking chairs and stuff

loves beers and american football

the type of person that says this generation is lost

might smoke too much but he doesn’t talk about that

he doesn’t talk about anything actually

although i love him with all my heart. i would not rec

there is a right way to do stuff and anthony as the holder of all the knowledge and morality Must tell you about it

rarely ever smiles bUT when he does ? smiles like a prince. if we had a royal verse he’d be the king of the entire universe honestly.

he was a oldest child in a family of 7. his parents were super wealthy and he was the One favorite child who both parents used to love and cherish and cheer on.

he got his high school sweetheart pregnant. his parents didn’t want him to marry her bc she was Poor and Not up to standards but he chose love over his family and got disowned for that. hasn’t talked to his family since

his dream life was always to have the perfect picket fence house and american dream type of family. it was supposed to be him, his wife, his son and maybe some day he would have a daughter and it would Be great

he and his wife had a son and they named him hendrix bc she loved rock and jimi hendrix and he loved the name even tho he never liked rock. but honestly ? he was so weak for her he would have loved the name lkgjdflajf if she suggested it

a few months after their first son was born tho she was diagnosed with cancer and a few months later she passed away

after that he raised his son by himself. he really threw himself into it. spent most of his life focused on it and work and now his son is going to college and he doesn’t know what to do with himself

the only person he ever Truly dated was his wife and then he just focused on his son and raising him so he never really allowed himself to date bc then he would have to introduce someone else to his son’s life and all that … sO anthony is usually all cool and fine and then you show romantic interest in him and there is like a visible shift ya know? like he goes from anthony to a truly profoundly awkward person trying to pretend it’s cool

aesthetics — organized work tables, color coded to-do lists, trying your very best at all times, mental exhaustion showing through physical symptoms, dad jokes and laughing by yourself, the smell of new books, comfort found in old libraries, forgetting your reading glasses at home, losing your temper and breaking something, old family photos lost somewhere in the attic, pushing someone else on a swing, sundays afternoons lost at the park, working extra hours instead of going home, cold breeze and hugging yourself to your jacket, trying to explain to someone why they are wrong when they don’t want to listen

[agentdammers]

Grand Torchwood Rewatch 1x11

FIRST RULE OF WEEVIL FIGHT CLUB IS NO FUCKIN HETS ALLOWED IN WEEVIL FIGHT CLUB. It’s “Combat” my dudes!!!

content warn: pisstaking, fun having, everyone is terrible, owen harper call me its been 3 weeks and you still havent called me i’ve been home every day

- god, “anti weevil spray” is such a terrible and immensely fucking funny concept. IT’S ALIEN REPELLENT JACK. you’ve acquired Alien Repellent. do they sell that on the aisle next to the ant killer, or,

- i hate how gwen abandoning rhys at the restaurant is still kind of framed as though he’s in the wrong!!! He raises his voice because he’s such a HORRIBLE UNREASONABLE boyfriend, obviously!! “Don’t ever speak to me like that.” what do you want him to do gwen, jump for fucking joy? All you’ve done is run out on him, be totally fucking absent when you Did grace him with your presence bc you’d rather not be there, and LIE to him including bringing a total stranger into your home and claiming to him that she was a relative. And that’s only the stuff he KNOWS about, that doesn’t include fucking uhhhh Cheating On Him with your obnoxious twink coworker? Get a grip!!!!!

- continuing on the topic of gwen, she’s now obviously lost to that Torchwood Stockholm Syndrome that manages to afflict every member of the team and makes them Dumb as all Shit. once you become part of torchwood, your life becomes torchwood, and you forget how to be a reasonable fucking person outside of it and not do stupid shit like keep secret alien technology to fuck around with and seemingly forget that other people have feelings and that your actions can have damaging consequences. ....but thats just my 2p.

- angry bar dude calls owen a dickhead me: ah? i see you’ve met before?

- “That’s none of my business...” TOSHIKO DOIN WHAT LITERALLY EVERYONE DOES AFTER THEY’VE ALREADY STARTED DISHING THE GOSS ON SOMEONE

- now, listen, this has been on my mind since 1x01, but who dresses the weevils? and why do they all wear overalls!!! is this ever addressed? in any of the books, or anything? do they ever explain who puts clothes on these animalistic creatures bc they dont seem like it would be something that they would do of their own volition???

- THE WAY JACK YELLS AT A MAN LAYING FACE DOWN IN A WAREHOUSE AS THOUGH HE’S JUST THERE FOR LAUGHS AND HE’S GONNA GO “AW SHUCKS, SURE BUDDY! I’LL ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS!” IS SO FUCKING FUNNY I CANT COPE

- “If you ask me these guys are using weevils to carry out the perfect murder. No fingerprints, no traces of recognisable dna...” jack they fucking beat the dude up before they set a weevil on him. if it was a “”perfect murder”” why do some stupid bullshit like that first that would potentially cover someone in your fucking dna im shitting this Fucking Show, i tell ya

- speaking of Fucking Show: ah ! owen looks absolutely fucking plastered in foundation in the following scene in the van when gwen breaks it off with him

- WAIT ALL IS FORGIVEN, OWEN IS WEARING THAT TIGER SHIRT I LIKE

- Mark Lynch Wants Owen’s Butt Whole and THAT is what the kids call......... relatable content

- the “harper’s jellied eels” website bit is genuinely really good and funny it fuckin owns

- “Teeth like a shark.” jack harkness confirmed to have never seen a fucking shark in his life apparently if he thinks weevils teeth are owt like them

- anyone else fucked up that jack just let a weevil loose??? like how could you know that it wouldn’t run into some poor random person walking the streets and bite their face off.... but then again, tbqh, this is an extremely minor thing when you think of the scale of torchwood’s irresponsibility wrt Fucking Everything.

- Weevil tyler durden/mark emits horniness in fucking WAVES guys holy shit!! you could bottle it. sell this dudes aura as a humane alternative to rhino horn. Dude has now got owen home on the first date and immediately whips his shirt off, your boy is UNSTOPPABLE!!!!

- drinking game fans, TAKE A SHOT for another reference to something in the darkness

- though i will always Love jack being called out on terrible behaviour, there’s something about tosh saying “we would never deliberately put a human being through that!” to a weevil being beaten up thats like....... mmmmm i’m pretty sure yall have done Worse to people before though babe.... like, Pretty Sure...

- i can’t decide if the scene where gwen drugs & confesses to rhys is consciously showing that gwen is so fucking corrupted by Torchwood Stockholm Syndrome that she’ll go right ahead and do stupid immoral shit??? tbh i’ve grown so fond of rhys just bc i feel so bad for him, being lied to, cheated on and now, fucking roofied.

- O??? Baby Boy??? Baby???

- side note: makeup artists Know burn gorman looks good with a split lip, and so they run wth it (see also: pacific rim uprising)

- Ah? Did mark touch owen’s dick before they went to weevil fight club? I Think So !!!

- To be honest the funniest aspect of weevil fight club for me, apart from all of it, is that some dudes found an alien in cardiff and their immediate thought was “woah, wicked. lets punch it”

- another side note but about mark: something about his features are very...... david zayas, like a combination of him and rufus sewell but younger and buffer. h e l l o

- MARK & OWEN HAVE BOTH NOW CALLED EACHOTHER “GOOD BOY” AND HONESTLY!!!!!!!! HOLLERIN!!!!!! OH, HORNY!!!!

- owen and ianto confirmed to form their own club for Nihilistic Sad Boys Ready To Embrace Death

- LMAO WHY DOES JACK LEAVE MARK TO GET MAULED TO DEATH??? HE COULD’VE PULLED HIM OUT? HE COULD’VE SHOT THE WEEVIL AGAIN AND INCAPACITATED IT? HE COULD’VE DONE LITERALLY ANYTHING BUT HE DIDN’T, HE JUST PUT HIS GUN DOWN? god, why is he fucking l i k e  t h a t, u know??? he’s so willing to let other people outside of his own team die.

- owen sexy update: hospital owen............... sexy

- and on a final note, i do like how this episode sets up the bizarre relationship owen will have with the weevils that comes into play in s2. like its not strictly necessary i suppose because it would be explained by them perceiving owen’s unnatural living death state but also, its just kind of cool to think that it was a thing that actually existed anyway even before that.

next rewatch post with probably be a double season finale, and apart from there being time travel & the Real Jack Harkness i don’t remember a fuckin thing about how this series ended so i’m going in blind!!! wish me luck!

[blame-canada]

II. Dinosaurs and Race Cars - Kyvid

The concept of David Rodriguez was one that Kyle had a very hard time understanding. It was, after all, hard to think when the very essence of a person was enough to drown out rational thought and basic comprehension. Also he had very, very nice arms.

Hi guys! Here we are with part two to this saga that will be full of the sweet, sweet kyvid content that the world so desperately needs. I, on a deeply personal level, feel I must provide for my rarepair, and so here I am, throwing cliches into the wind and hoping they stick (at least to somebody). Regardless, I hope you enjoy it! Tagging @mcnuggyy and @valzilla as my endless fountains of support and headcanons- y’all the real ones.

Part I

II.

“I’m gonna do it.”

“Kyle, dude,” Stan said, exasperated in every sense of the word, “you’ve been repeating that all fucking day. Are you gonna do it or not?”

“Yes, I’m gonna do it!” Kyle whisper-yelled, and he shrunk into his locker door as Stan’s gaze sized him up. “Just, like. In a minute. Next period.”

“Next period was two weeks ago,” he deadpanned. Then he gripped Kyle by the shoulders and whirled him around, and Kyle sputtered his anger out in incoherent noises of distress until Stan’s hand shot out from behind his shoulder to point straight ahead, to a locker that he knew embarrassingly by heart. “It’s so far past next period it’s stupid. Fucking go, Kyle, Jesus.”

Kyle’s hands met against his chest, his nerves exploding so violently he feared a seizure. He was right there, swinging his locker door open with his backpack slung over only one shoulder, halfway through pulling it off his back. His hair looked freshly cut from here, which did not bode well for Kyle. “God, what am I doing?” he moaned, and Stan gave him a decent push right in the middle of his back to force him out from behind his locker door and properly into the hallway.

“Making a fool of yourself. Go,” he hissed, and Kyle gulped down the nervous lump in his throat, nodding slightly. Next period really may as well have been two weeks ago. With a big breath, as though diving into the ocean, he surged forward in the most confident wide-stepped stride he could muster to try to pump himself up. It didn’t really matter, however, because David managed to catch him so off guard he deflated and nearly stumbled when he swiveled on one heel to face the hall.

Kyle’s heart leapt to his throat, and when David caught his eyes and smiled at him, his stomach grew flowers, the roots of them tickling and infiltrating his organs so violently he felt like he might be sick. At the same time, the glow of his familiar face left him awash with unusual calm, like a sedative with a laundry list of nasty lovestruck side effects that were somehow still worth it. In that moment, as David took one step forward to get close enough to talk over the crashing of locker doors slamming shut, all Kyle could think was,

‘Oh, god, I do love him.’

“My raptor friend,” David began, the smile audible in his tone, and Kyle wanted simultaneously to die and jump for joy at such an embarrassing nickname, “come to finish the hunt?”

Kyle giggled, honest to god giggled, before he cleared his throat and returned to his game face. “I, uh, wanted to make up for that.”

“Why? It was funny,” he said, and he chuckled himself, the sound so melodic and warm it could’ve brought him to his knees. “Plus the faces you make when I call you that are cute.”

Oh, Kyle could die. Die right there, in the middle of South Park High, at the ripe old age of seventeen, in front of a boy who could rule the world with one flash of his charming grin. He called him cute.

David leaned one hip against his locker and crossed his arms, and Kyle was stunned, transfixed by how his body moved with such finesse. “I actually had a question for you, if you had a minute..?” David said, and Kyle stood up straight, knowing full well that he would do fucking anything for him.

“Yeah, anything,” Kyle confirmed, perhaps too eagerly, because David’s smile turned the slightest bit devilish, and Kyle felt so caught in the act he considered ‘raptoring’ out all over again. In defiance of instinct, he glued his feet in place, determined.

David ran a hand through his perfectly newly-clipped hair, and Kyle could've sworn he looked nervous. “I was wondering if you would, ah,” he faltered, averting his gaze to the left and rubbing at the back of his neck, and Kyle had to try very hard not to stare at his arms as his muscles performed the elementary task. It looked anything but elementary, though; god, why was he wearing a short sleeved shirt in this weather? Shouldn’t he have his arms covered like a normal person? Any decent human being would know just how threatening it was to the student body to have his arms just exposed, like some sort of horrible tease that Kyle didn’t know how to talk to.

A deft hand snapped its fingers just beside Kyle’s left eye and it startled him back to Earth, to a grin that had definitely become devilish by now. “Back to the land of the living?” he teased, his sculpted brows quirked, and Kyle felt like dying all over again.

“Yeah, I, uh,” he fumbled, laughing nervously and clearing his throat like a schoolgirl in a goddamn rom-com, “yeah. Sorry, dude.”

David shrugged. “S’fine. Sound good, though?” he asked, but his face was uncharacteristically shy. Uncharacteristic, because David did and got what he wanted, and it was hot as hell.

“Yeah, yeah. Good!” Kyle said, a complete knee-jerk response, because his face heated up at the slow realization that he actually had absolutely no idea what David had said. Curse his beautiful arms, and that ridiculous, tantalizing v-neck—

“Alright, great! See you after school,” he said, and Kyle felt extremely grateful that David chose that moment to smile warmly at him and turn the other direction to go to class, because he was certain his face could light a match. What was after school? Oh god, what was after school?

Before David turned the corner, Craig Tucker, of all people, appeared to give him an unenthused high-five. Kyle knew they were kind of friends, but not high-five-level friends. Then, as though he could sense his thoughts, Craig looked over his shoulder and made direct eye contact with him. His face was just as flat and unyielding as always, and his eyes were so painfully scrutinizing he felt banished to Hell where he stood. What had he done? What had he signed up for?

A hand landed on his back and he jumped, twisting to find Stan looking at him expectantly.

“Stan, what’s after school?” Kyle asked before Stan could speak, a sinking feeling in his gut, and as Stan’s face morphed into one of confusion, he let out an embarrassing whine. “Stan, I don’t know what’s after school.”

“The fuck are you talking about?” Stan asked, brow furrowed, and Kyle dropped his face to his hands, mumbling into his palms and pressing his fingertips into his eye sockets, like he could end his own misery by squashing his brain right through them. All he managed was to make stars burst behind his eyelids. “Kyle, I can’t understand you when you talk in your crisis pose.”

“I agreed to something and I don’t know what!” he wailed, throwing his hands to the ceiling in frustration and screeching behind his teeth. “Stan, he said, ‘See you after school,’ and I have no idea what he was talking about. I just agreed!”

“Why didn’t you just ask him to repeat himself?”

“It was a knee-jerk reaction, Stan! By the time I realized what I did, he was already halfway down the hall!” He gripped at his hair and considered tearing it out. “What am I gonna do?”

“Well, you could ask him next period. You usually see him twice.” Stan shrugged, but was also clearly trying not to laugh, and Kyle resented him so much for that. “That sucks though, dude.” He snorted quietly, and Kyle dared him to go further. “Oh man, what are you gonna say? ‘Hey David, so funny story, I don’t actually know what I agreed to, because I was too distracted by how hot you look always.’ Oh shit, Kyle, you’re so fucked dude.” Then he did laugh, the motherfucker, the traitor, and he gripped his belly and wheezed while Kyle clenched and unclenched his fists, seriously considering resorting to violence.

There was suddenly a rough yanking sensation on his shoulder and Kyle yelped, turning to find Kenny hanging on his arm. “Heyyyy, my man! My big grown up manly man. How’d it go?” His teeth were ready to pop out of his beaming smile- at least the ones he still had. He then took a moment to assess the situation, and Kyle guessed he looked pretty dismal, because Kenny started to chill and let go of his arm, sobering up. “Aw man, that bad huh?”

“Kyle got distracted by David’s immaculate body, and regretfully does not know how it went.”

“Holy shit, Stan, stop,” Kyle warned, but Kenny had already resorted to booming laughter and started to hang off Stan’s arm instead, the two of them shrieking like hyenas. “It’s not like that! I just, I had a lapse in memory. It happens!”

“Yeah, when you’re obsessed with somebody, maybe,” Kenny snickered, and they switched to hushed giggling while they tried to calm down. Kyle felt his face go redder, if it was even possible. “Okay, so you need a new game plan. You gotta know where you’re meeting up anyways, right? Just meet up with ‘im here again when you usually do and you’re all set,” Kenny deduced, confidently. Kyle groaned.

“I guess I’m just nervous, again,” he admitted, feeling the embarrassment deep in his soul, crushing it and cracking it and making him generally miserable. His shoulders hung and he sagged into himself. Kenny and Stan shared a look, then Stan reached a hand out to grip his shoulder encouragingly.

“Hey, dude, this stuff is always tough. You can do it, though. We believe in you.”

“Yeah, well,” he grumbled, “two out of three ain’t bad.”

“That’s the spirit!” Kenny clapped his back hard and he straightened out his posture. “You got this, bud. You’ve got your own charm aboutcha. I got faith.” Stan nodded in agreement, and Kyle let out a big breath.

“Yeah, alright.”

He was not alright.

Will we ever find out what David said to Kyle in his moment of weakness? Does the author use italics way too much in Kyle’s POV? Is David the embodiment of perfection himself? The answer to all three is a resounding, ‘Probably!’