#that i must be doing something wrong

[brandoncarlo]

so there was this big blowup at my work on friday where two of my coworkers tried to undermine me and went to my manager with half truths to make me look bad. I explained what was going on from my perspective and because one of my coworkers has a history of lying to get me in trouble and the other manager actually there corroborated what was going on plus the cameras, my manager got extremely angry with my other two coworkers. I pretty much blew up, for me at least, and ranted to my manager about everything that happened (they were shit talking me and saying how i don't do work loud enough for me to hear it, on the back of my 3rd week in a row clocking in the most overtime besides the two managers, which included covering their shifts because they each call out regularly). So my manager is now saying she's going to bring both of them in and talk to them with the big boss. And while every discussion I've had with my manager has left me feeling vindicated and I know everything I said was the truth at least from my perspective. I'm like gaslighting myself and questioning my own reality (how do you know you're not lying, what if you're just trying to make yourself look good), on top of stressing about whether or not they could end up getting me in trouble by saying i did something wrong (and if i did do i remember doing it, or will it be a lie, or how will i know).

anyway the entire thing really stressed me out. i do not handle anger well and left work on friday shaking. i had to work with one of them on saturday and was blown away that she kept pretending to be nice to me, when she must have known that I could hear everything they were saying. I also had to work with another coworker who I didn't hear say anything, but knowing him he's on their side and he gave me the cold shoulder even tho he's one of the friendliest people i work with and makes sure to say hi and bye to everyone. which is FINE because i was giving him the cold shoulder too but petty me wanted to be the one to ignore him first.

point is this fucking sucks cause i love my job but i won't let people walk all over me. i am just stressed for monday because I'm not sure what's going to happen all I know is that I am going to be extremely clear with my manager about what's going to go down after she leaves. What exactly are my responsibilities and who is going to express that to the other people I am working with. Because I do not need to be told I'm not doing work because I'm the only one who can give the front desk manager a break in the afternoon, but they only see me go up front and disappear for 15 minutes, i guess assuming I'm not doing anything.

and to top it all off right before this I had gotten yelled at on the phone by someone trying to book a grooming appointment. Which is kind of funny and kind of shitty. Shitty because I was already stressed and agitated before this and also funny cause part of me was like lmaooo girls if you want to deal with that bullshit sure but they already triedd to train you for it and it failed.

[hootgrowlbears]

The experience of being singled out by a teacher as unexceptional since day one. Trying something new and getting endlessly questioned about the why, the how. For months, going to class and giving up on doing well because it's not like this teacher ever cared about you anyway. Being berated in front of your whole class for your slipping grades and not knowing what to do about it.

And then the flip. In the middle of the year apparently something you did was impressive. Your teacher is friendly with you in a way they never were, and your sudden success was all a part of their plan, their method. "This is what I was trying to tell you, and you finally got it!".

You convince yourself of that too, grudgingly. It all worked out. That teacher really did know best after all. All that stuff at the beginning of the year, all that stuff for the two years before that, that was fine. It was all part of the plan. The humiliation and the stress and the nights spent wondering "What am I not getting about this?", were all necessary.

It's time for teacher evaluations. All fives.

[soups-archive]

Honestly, I don't think people give qCellbit enough credit. As much as he can be blinded by his own self depreciation, he knows his husband.

And there is something deeply wrong with "Roier."

Props to cc!Roier for his acting, because as someone who's been watching the both of them for almost a year now, the way he plays Doied with qCellbit makes my stomach churn a little bit.

It's an almost perfect impression of qRoier, but it's wrong in the ways that matter. He's a little too careless. A little too surface level in his portrayal.

He feels like if someone watched Roier's pov and took his attitude at face value without bothering to consider any of the nuances underneath. Which is, I guess, what Doied actually did.

He hits Cellbit with a sword when he's under-geared just "for fun". He stands back in fights when Cellbit's calling out for help. He nonchalantly brings up Bobby in order to convince the eggs and Cellbit to leave. He tells Pepito that he's Pepito's only parent and that Pepito is only his son. The small details all add up together and the result is something immensely off.

It's VERY well acted, and it's the kind of difference that only someone who spent a long time with a character could pick up on, which is exactly why I think qCellbit seems to have caught on so quick.

[phoenixmetaphor]

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selkie au - take what the water gave me - part 2-1: drinking game

SORRY, i am splitting this part up. i will bomb your dash with like 5 pages at a time, maaaaaybe 6. but this is going to be at least 8 pages. i haven’t quite got the end laid out yet. the good news is pages 5-7 are sketched. the bad news page 5 as like 10 panels on it, wtf.

i told you we’d get to explicitly selkie bits and here we are. i swear one of these is not going to be set in a bar one of these days.

anyway, thanks again to @thebrandywine for the selkie brainrot. mav’s selkie fic [call of the sea, call of the moon] — the thing that inspired this, the second cake — is now being posted! so please check it out.

[SELKIE COMIC PART 1 HERE]

this comic is also on ao3 (requires login)

[uncanny-tranny]

[cosmic-light-fics]

The Girlfriend Montage

I can't shake this moment from my mind and some interpretations of moments like this in this season have gotten me mad, so here's what I've got to say about the girlfriend montage. Carmy telling Richie he's gotta call his girlfriend, then we get splices of scenes containing Carmy making food for Claire, Claire working in the hospital, and for reasons that are highly debated by some but seem completely obvious to others including myself there are scenes of Sydney interjected into the couple's montage.

I have my thoughts as to why Sydney is in the montage but that's not the point I want to linger on, not now at least.

I am going to focus on this part in particular: the one where Sydney is undressing and we see the Three of Swords tattoo.

To me, nothing is unintentional in this show. Nothing is inconsequential. And this small, two second shot of Sydney proves that in more ways than I can think of.

What I can't shake is how freaking similar it is to a scene we will later see in ep. 9. The sex scene with Carmy and Claire. It's an intimate moment. The room is cast in blue hues. It's all close up shots, quick cuts, and we can barely make out who is who and what is where. The moment is completely intimate and sensual in all the ways a romantic sex scene typically is conveyed.

And it matches the picture above nearly identically.

The choice to show the audience Sydney's tattoo bathed in this blue light that they will later use for Carmy and Claire's sex scene, the choice to capture this extreme close up, the choice to include the strap of her bra and a tattoo with an image that symbolizes heartbreak and betrayal, the choice to put one of the most intimate and vulnerable shots of Sydney in this montage meant for a couple is.... pretty indicative of the romantic undertones hidden in Carmy and Sydney's connection. The first time I saw it, I was blown away by how intimate of a shot that was of Sydney. We've never seen her like that - undressing, her skin that is always covered exposed, seeing for the first time that she has a tattoo. Just like we never saw Carmy like that in his sex scene with Claire, him being so intimately exposed.

I don't know how else to interpret it. Because all of what's stated above is not coincidence. The creators of this show didn't coincidentally put scenes of Sydney into the couple's montage and they definitely didn't mirror the imagery from the picture above to the sex scene in ep. 9 on accident. Just like how they didn't coincidentally have Carmy think of Sydney to calm him down during his panic attack.

[millenianthemums]

parents of disabled kids will be like “we know our kid is disabled but we just won’t tell them about it. we don’t want them to think they’re less valuable than other kids. we don’t want them to feel limited by their disability, we want them to know they’re capable of anything.”

meanwhile those kids are growing up thinking “why is everything so much harder for me than it is for everyone else? there’s no reason i shouldn’t be able to just do this. i guess i’m just a failed, broken person.”

[cryptvokeeper]

don’t get me wrong I think the general interpretation of Leo being like “I put up a cocky front but deep down I don’t actually think I’m that great and that’s why I have something to prove” is good. It’s cool, plenty of drama/angst potential and probably what the creators were going for, I’m here for it.

But there is a distinct appeal to me of the slightly-to-the-left interpretation of Leo being like “it’s not a front, I know I’m that good/smart/skilled, but I also know I’m seen by others as just the goofball face man and that’s why I have something to prove.”

[birdy-bird27]

Visualization of how I feel about spamton

[spicyraeman]

I have been given power..

[tennessoui]

Obikin body swap idea: getting to see how the other half lives. Anakin just being super flustered by the idea that when he touches himself he's touching his master even for innocent things like running his fingers through his hair or getting to touch his beard.

Meanwhile Obi-Wan is trying to cope with how overstimulating Anakin's connection to the force is and even the best shields only dampen it slightly. Inner peace? He doesn't know her.

ooo i feel like when we talk about obikin body swap, this is always what we go with (overwhelmed by his master's body! anakin and overwhelmed by how anakin experiences the force! obi-wan), and it's good it's great i think these are great interpretations of the characters and i can see why it's such a popular take on obikin body swap

so what if that but also:

anakin overwhelmed by how little time obi-wan actually has to himself and how busy he is and him realizing that it's not that obi-wan purposefully doesn't spend as much time with him as he wants it's that obi-wan's body walks down a corridor and two younglings want him to give them a sparring demonstration, four Council meetings are scheduled, and one archives padawan is coming incessantly wanting to ask if he's ready for book club this week because she has thoughts on the last chapter

+

obi-wan unused to how strong he feels, how easy the Force suddenly is to manipulate; sure it's loud and i have a soft spot for that sort of headcanon about how anakin experiences the force, but i think we can't forget it wouldn't just just be overstimulating for anakin: it makes him powerful as fuck. obi-wan feels tired and the mechno arm hurts and it's straining his shoulder so he decides to use the force to call his datapaad over from its charging spot, but it zooms over so fast it shatters on impact with the wall

+

anakin overwhelmed by the new and unfamiliar aches and pains of obi-wan's body, the way he hurts when he wakes up, the way long space travel makes him feel sick and stiff

+

obi-wan realizing how persistent the chancellor is when it comes to comming and meeting anakin for lunch--oh lunch won't work what about tea oh tea won't work what about opera----

+

anakin trying spicy food for the first time in obi-wan's body and he's.... actually fine???? cue realizing that obi-wan was just pretending when he was younger to not like spicy food the bastard. (upon confrontation, obi-wan says, 'well it just seemed to mean so much to you on a personal level that i wouldn't be able to handle the heat of tatooinian food, i didn't want to disappoint you but you should really try stewjoni cuisine')

+

obi-wan realizing quite quickly that uh. anakin was not ever faking his very low alcohol tolerance

[battleslippers]

Going through Outsiders FFN is such a weird experience because I'll be looking through authors and fics and usually find a lot of people mentioned in eachother's works, giving the impression of an incredibly tight-nit community, yet today I don't think it's nearly as active. This likely sounds melodramatic, but it really does make me a little sad when I think about it, even though I wasn't around for a majority of FFN. If an author's catalogue went on for long enough you'd see people go from college student, to graduate, to mother of two, etc, etc. These glimpses turn out to be so jarring to me because then I remember they last posted years, maybe more than a decade ago. It's a massive time capsule that sort of feels you're walking alongside these people as you go through their writing when in reality you're only walking alongside some sort of apparition of the past.

[trainingdummyrabbit]

theres something about the temporary nature of death and general impermanence in the pmoonverse thats driving me fucking crazy but i dont know if i have the mind to dissect it

like... in lobcorp, death just happens. its background noise. its sad, sure, but you get used to it. you dont really get anything from caring about it other than being a little sadder than usual. if your favorite guy dies, you can just try the day again. and repeat, over and over, until you get what you want this time. its easy to fuck up, but its easy to fix, if you have the mind for it. textually, nobody Really dies there, though; given the records team's deal. everyone is always recorded, retrieved, removed at a whims notice. if you miss someone, you can put them back. or not. it doesnt really matter. its a face to a function, mostly.

and similar goes for ruina-- though theres less of an ability to truly "lose" someone. the library holds tight to those in its wings, as anyone can simply be put back together if something were to happen to them. and if things dont go right, you can simply try again. and again, and again, and again; you have all the time in the world, really, and the patience to wait for them to inevitably come back. decay doesnt really exist in a place like that, does it? even those that became books were simply put back somewhere-- Somewhere, but as they were. the library appears and then disappears just as quickly; leaving a mark intangible, not unlike a dream, but a mark nonetheless.

and with limbus, turning back the clock is the entire name of the game. you can fuck up however you want to, react however you want to, and well. if you die, dante will just put you back. easy peasy. theres caveats this time, but more or less, death is pretty much just a smack on the wrist at this point. a little more than that for dante, but well, theyre fine, so. whatever, right? of course. i cant speak for them as much as i can the others, but its very much there. look at it, its on the ceiling, and all.

and like, its. well its obvious from a gameplay standpoint, it makes the whole thing Work. but due to the diegetic nature of the whole thing, it weaves a strange sort of sensation. doesnt matter what happened, doesnt matter what mark it leaves-- youre fine. get up. again. especially with the framing character-- dante is the only one who kinda has to deal with the direct fallout of these actions (though, the narrative seems to stop looking at it after a point, which is understandable, but also still paints a picture.) x and angela mostly tend to overlook the whole process, directing rather than personally experiencing the whole thing.

idunno. these concies sure dont quence, or something

[feluka]

angels are real their names are shams and noor

[windsweptinred]

One thing I have noticed during my year and some on Tumblr, is no one really talks to each other. Interaction seems to be a thing which almost has to be earned through content creation. Or be prompted through ask games.

I mean, if anyone ever wants to ask me things about my art/fics I'd obviously love nothing more. But I'm mostly on this hellsite to meet people to talk weird with about the things I love. You want to start a natter with me about something, just hop into the comments and start chatting, I'll chat back. Or pop me a pm. It can be about a picture of a tree for all I care. You don't have to be fandom famous, you could never have posted a thing in your life. I don't care, that's not what I'm here for. I'm just here to make friends.

[coffee-and-casefiles]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Gentlemen (TV 2024) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Susie Glass/Eddie Horniman Characters: Eddie Horniman, Susie Glass, Sabrina Horniman, Charlotte Horniman, Freddy Horniman, Jack Glass Additional Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Hostage Situations, Everyone is wrong but can you blame them, They won't stop staring at each other Summary:

Everyone thinks Eddie and Susie are together. It's not a problem, until it is.