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#that meow was so corny though
squidthemayo · 2 years
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this mfer is never beating the catboy allegations
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writegoblin · 1 year
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Michael Myers Headcanons
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I've super been in the mood to write lately :3c I've been pressuring myself to come up with like. Something cohesive. But nah. I just wanna get a lil silly.
SFW
- When you first meet, it's because you moved into Haddenfield. Illinois has like, three cities everyone moves to, so for you to pick a tiny town-- and Haddenfield of all the tiny towns? Something had to be wrong with you. Something Michael needed to investigate.
- In reality, you worked for a niche company that signed a contract with a Haddenfield hospital. It wasn't anything complex. But you're complex to him.
- He just quietly breaks into your home every once in a while if the mood strikes him. He's not always out murdering-- he's gotta case the houses, too! So, of course, he's taken the opportunity to break into your house the ONE night you had to do overtime.
- If you have pets, he mostly avoids them. If they're aggressive, he'll find a way to lock them up. It would be a shame to hurt you so deeply this early on after all. So Brutus can get locked in a closet for now <3
- You become more aware of his presence because he starts taking items. In a weird way this is also how you get to know him. A lot of old out of state memorabilia or souvenirs go missing. Pictures of strange places. Anything that's odd or unique looking. He might start taking hobby items just to see how frustrated you get.
- Once you two actually confront each other, it's a little bit like those old movies about the wild animal getting adopted by a human? Where at first it's like "oh god oh fuck big scary!!!" And then you flash the light on the silhouette and you see "oh you're actually just a pathetic little meow meow." That's him.
- The reason he's so meow meow is for the first time. His curiosity is winning over his blood lust, giving him sort of a clear head. He likes spending time with you cause it lets him actually think about things. You don't rush to judge him, so he experiments with himself more. (And also with you, in a way. It's how you bond!)
- I mentioned this in a previous post but I'll say it again here: he's the type to do something for you if he can reason that it benefits him. He puts you to bed because if you don't sleep early, you can't make him breakfast. If you don't eat, you get moody and THEN who will drive him to the weirdly 24/hr thrift store?! Fucked up.
- He's weird about physical affection. Some days are better than others. Some days, he's very cuddly, actually. And by cuddly, I mean leaning against you in a bid to get you to crawl into his lap or put your arms around him. On his bad days though, he gets flashbacks to the hospital. He feels like a wild animal in a cage.
- Speaking of, his bad days are when you don't see him. You're a safe space. He can't defile a sanctuary like that. If he's approaching a bad day, he might be more distant, standing in doorways and halls just. Staring. From then on, it's a matter of time. All you can do is fix whatever breaks in the aftermath. If you try to touch him, he'll leave.
- Quickest way to his heart is food and nursing. Did you just feed him pancakes after patching up his gash? Oh, heavens--
- He doesn't fall in love easily per say, more like he will trust you a bit more willingly. The love part comes FARRR later when you've seen his worst and his best, not to be corny.
NSFW
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- Before y'all met, between Halloweens, he's doing petty crime. Lots of theft. He steals magazines. You know where I'm going with this.
- He knows what he likes and he doesn't like. He has an idea of stuff he'd like to try. Lots of fantasies, not much experience save for the occasional vouyer moment.
- When you come around though, and you become sexually comfortable with him, he wants to experiment. That's kind of his other way of saying "I love you."
- Loves. Rope. Frog tie is best because he can kinda make a show of lifting you in front of a mirror and the face you make when that happens is-- *chef's kiss*
- Sadist, naturally. But I think he likes both pleasure and pain. A bit of a darker headcanon but sometimes he feels like he's stabbing you when thrusting. Your cries and mewls and erotic hollers spurring him on. Your orgasmic cries bring him back down. His own orgasm brings him back. He's him again.
- He loves intimidating you. If you're shorter or weaker in any way, he loves backing you into corners and making you feel small.
- If you're aggressive, he loves a challenge too. In fact, if you're into play wrestling he might be down sometimes. It wakes up this primal instinct in him that needs to pin you down. And he likes a good challenge.
- He's very thick. Very long. I'm thinking 8", uncircumcized, upward pitch. Bit veiny too if im honest. His first load is always stupid big.
- If you're a squirter, 🫡 it was nice knowing you Mr. President--//shot
- Once he gets the basics down, and you two start experimenting, and that happens for the first time, it is his goal. His duty. To make sure it happens every time.
- He has a third dense for your arousal. He's good at reading body language (he scares you sometimes, with how easily he can read your thoughts), so sometimes he'll wait until you're subtly showing signs without knowing. Wiggling your hips, sighing, taking off layers of clothes. And when you least expect it, that's when he'll get you.
- Low key has a thing for pheromones, I think. Like musky scents n all that. The scent of arousal. He loves eating for that reason among other more obvious ones.
- If you want him to be submissive, it will take lots of convincing. You'll have to catch him when he's in a more receptive state-- when he's reflecting on himself. He'll be more open to the idea then.
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Human Resources
Roman Roy/reader (drabble)
~ Having lunch with your problematic boss is about as fun as it sounds (very fun)
warnings: joking about sexual harassment (no actual sexual harassment)
notes: i wanna make this guy meow for me. lil somethin to shake off the cobwebs. this is like a little corny but I forgot how to write good during my hiatus
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“I could bludgeon you to death.” 
“What?” 
Roman almost seems offended by your surprise. He looks at you from across his desk as though he’d asked you the weather and you slapped him across the face. You’d been having a relatively peaceful afternoon–it had been hectic in the office, so you both decided to eat lunch at Roman’s desk. Your conversation had been fine, if maybe a little mundane. You were almost grateful for Roman’s weird outburst for allowing the both of you to fall into your regular routines. 
“I feel like, if it really came down to it, I could bludgeon you to death,” He leans forward in his chair. “I’m not saying I want to, I’m just saying if the situation called for it, I wouldn’t, like, struggle.”
“Why the fuck would the situation call for it?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed. 
“I don’t fucking know, maybe you start PMS-ing and end up taking a swing at me.” 
“Jesus, Rome,” you chide, “Is this the kinda shit you fantasize about? Spend a lot of time playing with yourself imagining what it would feel like to bash my brains out?” A part of you is grateful that you've finished your lunch already–this conversation is not working wonders for your appetite. 
“Ok, well, now you made it weird.” Roman slumped over in his chair, sitting at an angle that could not have been comfortable. “I was just throwing it out there, no need to get your fuckin’ dick twisted in a knot.”
“Y’know what? I bet you’re wrong,” This catches his attention. “If we got into a fight like that–like, life or death–I could kick your ass.”
“No fucking way, are you kidding? Have you seen yourself?” he pushes himself up where he sits, fitting his legs underneath his body and leaving him perched on his chair like a bird. “You’re, like, 2% muscle and 98% bitch. You can’t even send your drink back if they get your coffee order wrong–I think if you were faced with life-threatening danger, your heart would self-destruct to avoid the conflict. I wouldn’t even have to bludgeon you to death.”
If anybody else was saying this to you, you’d be appalled. Thankfully, you’ve had years of practice fully dedicated to building up your Roman tolerance. “You’re hardly life-threatening, Rome. All I need to do is call you gross, like, once, and you’d be too blinded by weird, horny brain-fog to fight me,” You’re not sure when you rose from your seat and began to lean against his desk, but you pay it no mind. Like clockwork, he rises up on his chair to reach your eye level. He has a smug look on his face that you’d grown increasingly accustomed to. 
“You’re disgusting, you know that? I could get you fired for talking to a superior that way, you pervert.” He narrows his eyes at you, and the corners of his mouth quirk upwards. He’s moved closer to you, close enough so that you feel his breath on your face. Too close. You take the opportunity to flick him on the underside of his jaw, and he throws his head backward as though you’d socked him in the nose. 
“That’s assault! You just assaulted me! God, Human Resources is going to have a field day with this. The young, naive assistant violently assaulting her boss after making crude, sexual comments about him–feminism really has gone too far.” He leans back toward you, this time straining to seem as though he was towering over you. Instead, he ends up talking to your forehead. 
“Please, Roman, you’re being delusional.” His jaw drops.
“And now you’re gaslighting me. I cannot believe I’ve had someone so cruel working for me all these years.” He fans himself like a southern belle. You stifle your laughter at his dramatic display. “You’re toxic, this is toxic. Do you think Greg treats Tom this way? Because I sure don’t.”
“Greg treats me in what way?” Tom’s voice cuts through. Both you and Roman jerk backwards, and for some reason you feel your face heat up. It feels like you’ve been caught doing something you shouldn’t have. 
“He treats you like the pretty pillow princess you are, Tom.” Roman quips, seemingly unaffected by Tom’s sudden appearance. Tom’s face contorts strangely, and he lets out a strangled half-scoff-half-laugh while flapping his hand dismissively. You cock an eyebrow at his behavior, which draws out for just a little too long. Tom clears his throat.
“Anyways,” he straightens his tie. Your mind wanders to a late-night conversation you had with Roman where he called Tom a ‘sad, deeply repressed, half-muppet-half-man hybrid’. It becomes clearer everyday that he was spot on. “Kendall asked to see you in his office. I’m not sure what about, but he seemed… frazzled.”
“Frazzled.” Roman repeats, irritated. He turns to you, and for a second, you almost think he looks disappointed. “Duty calls. I’ll have to report you to HR later. Try not to sexually harass anyone else until then, m’kay?”
Before you have a chance to respond, he blows you a kiss and scurries out the door, leaving you and Tom alone in his office. Tom looks at you with his muppet eyes.
“Sexually harass…?”
“Get out, Tom.”
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love-toxin · 2 years
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permafrost - josh washington
a/n: I'm replaying the quarry rn so u know i had to pay tribute to the og lil meow meow <33
plot: you weren't so keen on reuniting with your friends at the same lodge the twins disappeared from a year ago, but for Josh's sake, you decided to relent and just have a little fun. who knew Josh's crush on you would be the thing that makes it so terrifying?
(cws: f!reader, mildly yandere josh, takes place mid-canon, UD spoilers, horror elements, a little bit of a fear kink, chasing, nudity, confessions, mutual pining, implied smut [pt2 perhaps?], knives, a little angst w/ fluff)
word count: 3.2k
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You had never screamed so hard in your life, but you had also never been so close to death before. It stared you right in the face and in your state, with the cold freezing you to your bones and nothing but a towel to cover your damp skin, you had never been as vulnerable as you were in this moment.
The events of the night flashed by you in a daze, much like you had assumed your life would when you were about to die. Sam had offered the bath to you first and you had taken it gladly, happy to get warm after freezing your ass off while waiting for Josh and Chris to get the doors open. You were one of the first to get there because you were generally the most punctual, but apparently all that "butterfly effect" bullshit Chris was on lately actually had some truth to it. Because if you hadn't come early and almost gotten frostbite, then Sam wouldn't have let you in the bath first, and thus you wouldn't have been the one tricked out of the bathroom and chased throughout the house by the maniac in the mask who now held a knife over your throat.
"Last words?"
He snickered in that tinny voice and you just screamed louder, tears flooding down your face as you squirmed underneath him. The psycho had straddled your hips and held his other hand up to the hem of your towel, and it was impossible to tell whether he was holding it there to keep you decent or just taunting you for when he would rip it off and leave you exposed. You couldn't imagine it was the former, though, and it made you hiccup as you prayed it would just be over quickly. Nothing in your short life could have prepared you for your last moments here–laid out on the cold concrete of the Washington's estate basement, crying, nearly naked, and pinned by a psychopath who had probably already killed all of your absent friends. You just wanted out, and begged for mercy in a shaky voice.
"Aw…okay."
The killer paused, and if you weren't still trembling from the cold you would have thought you imagined it. You squeezed your eyes shut, thinking it might have just been another game–but they shot open again as soon as you heard the clang of the blade skittering across the concrete, the psycho having tossed it haphazardly out of reach. He lifted his arms and stuck his fingers beneath the lower jaw of the mask, and with a flourish, it was gone. And you could not believe whose face you saw underneath it.
"You convinced me. I guess I won't kill you after all!"
Josh Washington, your close friend and former classmate, laughed in your face. Laughed. In the way he would laugh at a corny joke or a video of someone slipping on ice. Not in the situation where he had threatened to kill you, one of his dear friends, and absolutely humiliated and terrified you in the process.
You were stunned into silence. Your mouth hung open and you had no idea what to do, what to say…but when Josh finally got off of you and grabbed you by the arm to bring you back up to your feet, you finally found the strength to grit your teeth and shove his hands off of you. The words "Is this a fucking prank, you asshole?!" escaped you long before you would have the strength to rethink them, and while Josh sobered up quicker than you expected he would, he still had a whisper of that grin on his face that just made you even more furious than you could ever remember being.
"I thought it would bring us together. Y'know," He stood back, and gestured vaguely around the basement like you should have known what he was referring to. "...Like you and the others brought my sisters together. Remember that?"
The tone of his voice brought that boiling anger down to a simmer, tampered down by a feeling washing over you that you hadn't felt for a while–guilt pried your heart open and sank into a wound you thought had closed, only to realize that it was just as tender as the day that tragedy had happened. And in that moment, you felt your defenses go up.
"I had nothing to do with that, Josh!"
"You didn't stop them."
"I tried!"
You felt a quiver in your own voice again, and arguing like this with someone you used to call a friend while he stood there, stoic, just made a fresh set of tears well up in your eyes. And you had done enough crying for the night, so with your hands reaching up to reassure the strength of your towel's hem around your chest, you took a step backwards towards the stairwell and mustered up the worst glare you could manage towards Josh.
"Do me a favour, actually: don't ever talk to me again. We're not friends anymore!"
With that you turned and stomped back towards the steps and took each one just as angrily, the concrete cold enough to hurt as you ventured back up towards relative safety. You knew Josh was following you by his own footsteps hurrying to keep up, but as you stiffly marched past the doorway and through the home theater to climb the stairs up to the main floor, his hand hovered over your bare shoulder just long enough for you to move out of its way.
"C'mon," He sounded desperate, and as much as you didn't want to care, you knew you did. That sad, kicked puppy expression was probably making its appearance on his face too, and if you turned to look at him you might even crack for real. "Come back! Come on, it was a prank. I wanted to get back at them, really…I didn't really want to hurt you, though."
You made it around the railing in the living room, up the second set of stairs, and all the way up to the landing before Josh managed to catch up enough to walk alongside you. His needy attempts at coaxing you into laughing this all off were beyond frustrating, and when you finally managed to get on to the second floor you turned to face him again. He stopped only two steps from the top where you took your stand, but even that much distance was enough for you to feel like you towered over him even though the opposite was usually the case.
"You had no problem chasing me around and watching me in the bath!"
Your hands clenched into fists, mostly in an attempt to keep from just slapping him outright, and your shouting caused him to flinch but not back down.
"Well, that's because I like you. Wouldn't you do the same if you liked me, given the chance?"
"Shut up, Josh."
You waved him off with a huff, and retraced your steps back towards the bathroom that you had been chased out of just a little while ago. The prints left behind by your feet when they were wet from the bath were still visible outside of the door, and even though you pulled on it to let it close behind you, a certain someone let it hit his forearm as he pushed his way in after you.
"Do you like me?"
"I did, before you fucking traumatized me!"
You threw those words over your shoulder as you bent down in front of your gym bag, the one you had lugged all the way up the mountain just for Josh's sake. And luckily for you, he offered you the same courtesy and had simply kicked it out of sight behind the tub so you wouldn't think to dress before he started chasing you. While the clothes you'd changed out of still weren't there, you rummaged around and found something else to change into–not exactly as flattering, but anything that offered you some decency was better than what you had now.
"I like you. I really, really like you a lot. C'mon." You were only half-listening to Josh's drivel, and when you turned to see him holding a hand out to you at your place on the floor, you scoffed and got back to your feet with your clothes draped over one arm.
"Did I not just tell you to stop talking? And get out."
This time, you did smack his hand away from you, and he pulled it back with a soft enough sigh that it almost made you feel bad for him. Almost, but not quite.
"Do I have to? I mean, I've already seen you naked. You've got a really nice body…"
"Out!"
And as per usual, whatever shred of sympathy you had for him evaporated the second he opened his mouth, and especially when he whispered that part under his breath. You put your hands on his chest and pushed him backwards, walking him all the way to the hallway before slamming the door in his face the moment he was over the threshold.
"Fucking asshole…"
You muttered to yourself as you dropped your towel and pulled your clothes on. You were so strung out even upon realizing that it was all a facade, and though you were still tense without your other friends around, knowing Josh he probably sent them on all kinds of wild goose chases just to get them out of the lodge and running all over the mountain. At least, that was what he did with Mike and Jess, and even so you were sure they were having a grand old time with that cabin all to themselves. It wasn't a specific kind of jealousy you felt over them–you had no interest in either of them, at least romantically–but you did have a sense of desire for what they had. They were so carefree. If only you could be more like that, maybe you would have reacted differently to what Josh had put you through–maybe you really would have laughed it off instead of sobbing like a baby and blowing up once it was all over. It might not have been a healthy reaction, but at least you wouldn't be feeling an oncoming wave of tears like you were now, only to wipe them away as soon as they showed up and stop in front of the mirror to try and cool down before you left.
You expected Josh to do as you asked and leave you alone, and at least get out of your sight for a little while so you could calm down. But when you finally opened the door again, he was still standing there. And if anything, he seemed relieved that you were scowling back at him.
"Please give me a chance. I'll make it up to you, I swear." Josh looked into your eyes and your defenses already started cracking. Right then, you had a choice–you could choose to keep that anger you had close to your heart, or…you could let it go, because if nothing else, he did seem pretty sorry and he had expressed it in that awkward way of his.
"Fine! Fine. Just…don't fucking do that again."
"Which part?" He backed down the second you shot him your signature dirty look, raising his hands up as a show of his surrender with a guilty smile still plastered across his stupidly pretty face. "I'm kidding! Kidding."
With that, and with the tension eased up a little bit, you stepped out into the hallway and wandered over to the railing. It overlooked the living room below and the huge, sphere-shaped art piece that hung from the ceiling that his dad had bought, and you let out a deep sigh. Maybe of relief, or maybe not. But either way you weren't as stressed as you were a minute ago as you looked out towards the window and watched the snow fall outside, even when Josh joined at your side to lean against it himself.
"...You didn't answer my question, you know."
"You haven't answered plenty of mine, so maybe you should cool it, cowboy." You brushed him off not to be a bitch, even though you had every right to. Rather…there was something else that you hadn't quite accepted, even though it sat at the back of your mind day after day. It had been something that you once thought about daily, wondering when and where would be the perfect time to reveal it–but after everything with Hannah and Beth, you locked those feelings deep, deep inside so as to not complicate things for your grieving friend.
"Fair, fair. But…I really need to know. Do you like me?"
The fact that he just breezed right over your answer was not only irritating, but it was something you so rarely saw him do that you knew he was genuinely serious.
"Josh, I really don't want to be having this conversation right now."
A few moments of silence passed between you. You naively wondered whether that would really be the end of the conversation once and for all. If maybe he was finally pushed enough to just let it go.
"Well, if you didn't, I would’ve expected you to just say 'no'."
Your fingers curled around the banister and you gripped it tightly in frustration, before turning to face him completely with the words already spilling off your lips.
"What does it matter, Josh? Do you really expect me to pour my heart out to you right now? I'm tired, and I'm cold, and-" And before you could finish, Josh moved in and hugged you tightly, squeezing you hard enough to keep you close but not quite enough to hurt. His hands fell to rest on your lower back but not an inch lower, his unexpectedly full arms holding you like you'd been locked into place against his chest. He had always been a bear hug kind of guy, but it had been a long while since he'd given you one.
"I'll keep you warm." He whispered, and while you expected his voyeuristic self to snicker and cop a feel while he had the opportunity, but that moment never came. He just kept holding you, swaying a little bit, and you listened to the snow and the breeze outside the window until he finally pried himself off of your very inviting body.
"Did…you seriously expect me to just fall into your arms after all that?" You asked, a soft scoff inlaid between your words to try and sell it, but no matter how hard you would try you wouldn't be able to brush that off. As much as you wanted to pretend you could keep holding Josh at arm's length, it wasn't going to last forever at this rate. The man himself just shrugged, a faraway look in his eyes even with the newfound space between you.
"That's what they do in movies."
What a naïve answer, and yet so quintessentially Josh. You rolled your eyes in jest, and yet as you crossed your arms over your chest you knew your friend was looking places he shouldn't. But you weren't going to stop him this time.
"If you liked me, then you should have just told me. You've given Chris enough crap about that with Ashley, so you just look like a hypocrite now."
"It's different."
You gave him a look that just said "How?" without you having to say it, and Josh shrugged again, although this time he couldn't keep eye contact and just kind of looked everywhere but at you. Almost like he felt somebody was listening in, and he didn't want to be overheard.
"I couldn't tell whether you liked me or not. I was afraid you wouldn't, and I don't…want to lose someone else again. I can't lose someone else that I love. It would kill me."
"You love me?"
He scoffed in a way that sounded like disbelief, like even questioning him on his sincerity about this was a laughable offense. "Of course I do. How could I not? You're beautiful, and you're always sweet with me. You've never judged me. You're a kind person." He shook his head, finally able to clue in and meet your eyes this time–and maybe it was because you were smiling now, fear replaced by endearment as you let his compliments wash over you. Not that you knew about it, but Josh had always been a firm believer that you didn't get enough praise, and only now that you thought back on your friendship did you start to realize how often he alone was the one giving it to you when nobody else would. "And I love the way you laugh, and I think you look so cute when you're focused on something. I like hearing you talk, and, and…a million other things. You make me so happy, and you're not even mine."
"I could be yours." The words left your lips so fast you weren't given time to process them, to temper them as you usually did to make sure you were saying everything right. Your hand flew to your mouth on instinct, clearly shocked at your own outburst, but Josh just laughed and his hands drifted back up towards your hips for him to grab them a little more firmly.
"So you do like me back, huh?" Even another eye roll didn't stop him this time, you're pulled into another hug and Josh squeezed you even tighter than he did before. It often felt like he's the one always making up for lost time, which made sense considering all that had happened with Beth and Hannah. You were certain he wished for even a smidgen of more time with them, as would you if they were your sisters. As would anybody. You'd probably even kill for it if it came to that, and you wouldn't have been surprised if he would too. So in a way....it all made more sense.
Those grim thoughts didn't last long at all though–mostly because there was a more pressing matter at hand, which was coincidentally pressing right up against your thigh and only shifted when you piped up with Josh's name.
"Sorry." He pulled back enough to give you an inch of space, his nose a little darker to match his ears as he grinned the same way he did when he was getting up to something mischievous. "I like feeling you up against me…I'm lucky you've never noticed."
"What, you think I might've done something about it otherwise?....Maybe I would." Before he could answer that, you pulled away from his arms and sauntered off down the hall, clearly moving at a brisk pace towards the door of Josh's bedroom. This had not been in the cards for you an hour ago, but something stirred inside you that you just didn't feel the need to repress any longer. Your life had been a horror movie for too long now, but if it was going to be that way, then you could at least get some satisfaction out of it before you became the final girl. You stopped at the doorway, a hand on it to steady yourself, and you looked back in Josh's direction. "You coming?"
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duskkodesh · 4 months
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Why do you think most people dismiss Morbius as a character? - He's mainly just regarded as a D list Spidey villain by most Marvel fans even though Morbius has 5 solo runs and was a founding member of the Midnight Sons - He's very far from the nobody most people think the character is.
There's a few reasons for this. 1: Spidey is just surrounded by fantastic villains. It's pretty easy to go B or C tier even as a GOOD villain in Spidey's roster because with such a loooong history and such a wide rogues gallery there's some great and publicly recognizable villains, some of whom have just turned into full heroes or antiheroes with a following all on their own. 2: The cheese factor. Look, I love the man, but we as fans must absolutely recognize that Morbius as a concept is corny AF. He's the bat version of Spidey without the bite. His powers make even LESS sense than Peter's because it's not like bats have super high strength or hollow bones. He's also a hematologist. He is cheesy even for a comic book character. 3: He's a blank character to most. Unless you've read one of his solo titles (or watched the old Spidey animated series) before the movie he was pretty much an unknown to the casual Marvel consumer. People who didn't really read comics mostly. Sadly the 80's-90's there was still a lot of 'that's too nerdy' sentiment. A lot of portrayal of the average comic fan being a white guy in his thirties, living in his mother's basement. Comics were pretty socially big if you were a kid, but only a male one if you had 'traditional parents'. Thankfully I didn't, but some of my aunts were definitely different and wouldn't have let my cousins be near as weird as I was. So that's not a lot of people reading the source material and that means less fans by exposure. (Not going to go into the fact that a character in Marvel is written by a million different writers a million different ways sometimes to stupid results) The movie also... well it didn't help. Even the writers didn't seem to get the character at all. The fact is though he is just TOP TIER. He is a poor little meow meow. He has committed atrocities. He is the biggest threat to himself because he makes trademarked bad decisions and then, when all is done he probably cries about it. He tries to be moral, and to do good things but then he absolutely fucks up spectacularly. He is best friends with a werewolf. Is often found sleeping in alleys and warehouses. He has an ego way to big for a man in his situation, and is captain science incarnate often put up against demons, undead, and every creepy thing slithering in Marvel. He'd absolutely be a tumblr icon if he had regular media people actually consumed.
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os2-warp · 4 months
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06-05-2024 - Sachi and Eichi, my Hanazuki FCs
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Hi guys these are my Hanazuki FCs have had them and been drawing them for a while just not much actually presentable and I am kind of scared to post about fan-characters publicly in any capacity (< Has trauma* from being on the bad side of dA as a kid). The first pic is their day-to-day regular outfit and the second is a random example of clothes they would wear on stage. But I hope you like... A bit of a lot so I'm putting their info under the cut. Also, yes, if you like them enough to, you have my full permission to draw them, as long as you tag me in it so I can see :3c
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*Not actual trauma, I am solely exaggerating for comedic effect
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These two are Eichi and Sachi and they are relatively popular new wave/synthpop idols. Actually they are not twins or siblings but they both used to be one moonflower. After some kind of event they absolutely refuse to speak about (and get angry when asked) they split into two. There's a ton of weird rumors going around about them both because of this and of how reclusive they are outside of on stage. They both share memories up to when they split and they can communicate telepathically (Nobody except them knows this though).
Their moon: A popular rich-people-touristy-destination place even before they were born. Their moon's dark side is much larger than it's light side and there's a lot of "nightlife"y places on their moon, like clubs, casinos, motels, etc. Also a bunch of metro stations and stuff like that. There's not a lot of other moonflowers that live on their moon though it's mainly just tourist traps and typical big city stuff. They live in a big fancy mansion and travel with a motorcycle that can like fly and stuff. The majority of the treasure trees they have grown are purple and light blue/teal.
Their little critters: Based off Siamese cats, two of each colour. They help them when they make music by doing things like using their tails as a metronome and meowing in harmony to help them keep the tone of their singing and stuff... and they can even play instruments on stage but that is a team effort. Usually though they just act like normal Siamese cats being very affectionate and playful and vocal and stuff.
Personality: They are egotistical dickbags suffering from a massive case of chuunibyou (in the "delusions of grandeur and being more unique than everyone else" way not the "thinking they have magical powers" way). They aren't very rude outwardly but they just give off an air like they definitely think you're lower than them when you speak to them and it kind of pisses you off after a while. When they talk to people outside of during public appearances (which is very rare) they like to tell random lies to people and tease/provoke them and play borderline rude pranks just for the fun of it, they are mainly apathetic about most people and just see others as fun things to play around with moreso than actual living beings. They are almost completely incapable of seeing others as equals. And they call others "plebians" a lot. Living in near complete isolation with nobody except them and their little critters to interact with (outside of onstage and during interviews and stuff) they are very socially stunted and a bit loopy. People think the way they act during public appearances is just some kind of play they put on for the audience but no they are actually like that. They say stuff like "Being an idol is a public service, so make sure to thank us properly, 'k?". They like computers (I think all pooters in the Lunaverse are like big boxy CRTs and big heavy towers, and only big fancy rich people have them) and old games and modular synths and whatever the Lunaverse equivalent of the 1980s is. Both of them are massive nerds who like dumb nerd shit. And they get really defensive about said dumb nerd shit. Also are both extremely into "kitsch" aesthetics. They like to put on a big show on stage/in public and be kind of corny. They would never admit it but they wish they had friends other than each other. They get reformed/become a bit nicer later on. Which I don't feel like writing it all down even though I have ideas both because I feel it may be a bit " Cringe " and this post is already horribly long, maybe in a future post if people are interested, idk, how long are people's attention spans nowadays, has anyone even actually read this far... but I digress.... But basically they meet the gang and take a liking to specifically Kiyoshi, they are really really nice and sweet to Kiyoshi and call him "Little Prince" always instead of his actual name and treat him almost like one would treat a pet, but to everyone else they are as written above. And they're just kind of assholes in a subtle way, and they tell so many lies, enough to make Maroshi dislike them. Kiyoshi notices this, doesn't like it, tells them as much, somehow bribes them to get them to be nicer to everyone, "If you are nice to my friends for two weeks straight I will [give you something], [go back to your moon and play with you exclusively for a while], [etc]". And they do it just to get whatever Kiyoshi is offering them. But then after the two weeks are up they actually genuinely really take a liking to everyone, of course they are still really narcissistic, and still slip up with lying sometimes, and aren't good with discerning boundaries and what is considered nice and what is rude, but they are mostly nice now, and genuinely enjoy spending time with everyone now.
Also as a reward for reading thus far here is a reward for you, two random fun facts: Sachi likes being called "onee-chan" and Eichi stomps his feet when he's mad. If you read this long leave a comment please!!! Thank you
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evilblunt27 · 1 month
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WHICH ART SHOULD I FINISH FIRST
descriptions underneath each one poll at bottom
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1. Idk how to explain this comic lolll dw bout it... I started it when I was 19... so like parts of it is corny but I still like it. I think I would do it with a mix of pastels and pens and markers. I think I would line everything with pens. All the photos overlayed will be cut into shapes to fit in. The heart diagram is supposed to be in the shape of a playing card. The ring in the bottom right corner over the photo of a deer is a hard drive disc n reflective like a mirror. I wanted it to be like collage-y. I blurred out the parts I thought was too corny and I want to change though.
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2. Into a painting
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3. Prob do this with markers and pens and maybe color pencil. I want it to be like cartoon soldiers and ghouls and war and tanks in the middle and other stuff idk. And he needs a cigarette in da mouf.
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4. Dream I had where I was in a house in Florida keys dancing naked on the balcony to the look of love by dusty springfield. I got struck by lightning in a sexual way. There was a spiral staircase and the lightning was bright purple. Rly hard to see but idk I had a vision I might watercolor this but would rather do it w markers because I suck at water color. I also might glue some small perfect little seashells I collected on it for tropical emphasis...
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5. Dream I had where I woke up in some Siberian village and this couple I knew and don’t like that much irl took me to their house and they had a dog that had shitted everywhere all over the house except the bedroom and bathroom and then the boyfriend took me to the city limits and on the way there we saw a huge tiger and then he gave me a cigarette and I wandered off into endless unknown snow.
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6. Suppose to be building in the background and floating glowing symbol and bike lady will look like that I think I made her a little thicker than the original but whatever. And I want to add more things going on for more detail and depth but idk what yet. Maybe some tumbleweeds and chupacabra in the background. I hate painting on canvas it’s awful and I can never get smooth lines so I’ve been avoiding this one
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7. I got insecure that it was going over the page crease onto the other page so I stopped drawing this one but idk if I should do it on a new paper where it won’t go over the edge or it looks kinda cool like this
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8. Dream I had where a lesbian ghoul with big cartoon eyes and no other face tattooed a weird alien on my arm and big shitty hello kitty iPhone on my back
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9. Dream I had where my cousin and I were going swimming at some alpine resort I was wearing a bikini with shameocks and straightening my hair for some reason
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10. Ghoul and dog thingy
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11. Painting I started in high school. I want to make a window in the center peering out into the desert at dusk and the shirt cheetah print maybe change the color of the sheets to something more neutral and maybe some magazines and glow from the tv and other little objects around or maybe keep it simple. And also remove the underwear so it's just bush...
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strawberryfaced · 2 months
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are you better at talking or listening?
ooooh this is hard. I’m always getting told I’m a very good listener and I think I do well at that. I’m pretty good at paying attention to and understanding what other people are saying if I do say so myself! but I’m also good at talking. it’s just sort of a Different kind of talking. on good days I can hold a conversation very well I guess. but usually my Talking consists of non-sense-making noises or words. if I’m with people I’m close with it’s very rare I’ll say a proper sentence unless it’s a really dumb corny joke I think!! so I’m not sure if this counts as talking but yeah. for that reason I’d say maybe listening. unless you’d like to hear me unironically Meow for an hour. I’m happy to do both though!
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gayfring · 2 years
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Did somebody say random uncalled for NORMAL PEOPLE TOTALLY NOT CRIMINALS AU LORE?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Reminder that the nptnc au is just a silly and corny highschool au (kinda like how they portrayed high schools in early 2000s movies) that takes place around the 80s?? and after all the characters graduate the story just focuses on Gus and Max for now until me and my friend write more post-hs lore about the rest of the characters]
- Gus and Max met when they were in 9th grade in the school library. They were in the same class but they never talked to each other before. Gus reached out to grab the book "Gone with the Wind", and Max noticed him grab it and told him that his parents donated the book to the library. Gus just stood there with an awkward smile as Max talked and talked about his parents and their boring books. They were close friends until around 11th/12th grade, when they found out they actually were in love. Gus was the typical quiet, nerdy kid who loved studying and Max was a rather popular, athletic kid who used to play football (soccer, not American football) a lot of the time.
- Obviously Lalo is gonna be a school bully. But he's the type of bully that always hits close to home with his insults. Unlike Tuco, he doesn't use physical violence as often, and when he does, it's mostly shoving pathetic kids like Gus into the lockers. Sometimes he takes tests for Tuco... as Tuco. Even though they look nothing alike, and the grade isn't even any better than if Tuco were to take it himself.
- At prom, Gus and Max came with matching suits, and they tried their best to hide their relationship as always. Lalo got really drunk that night, he squeezed himself in between Gus and Max, and said "you know, despite how much I laugh at you, you guys are some really nice dudes," Gus and Max looking at him confused. Only a few years later did they actually realize how painfully bad they were at hiding their relationship from others.
- Kim and Jimmy once again fall victim to the "a woman that barks and a man who meows" dynamic. They met and fell in love after Kim finished eating in the boys' restrooms and Jimmy finished crying in the girls' restrooms and they both exited at the same time, Kim with crumbs still all over her mouth, and Jimmy all swollen and red from crying. Jimmy is a pathetic little loser who cries at the girls' restrooms after making the entire class laugh at his jokes and Kim is a closed but at the same time assertive girl. One time Kim saw Jimmy wrote her name in his phone book as "The most beautiful girl in the world", alongside with her phone number. She insisted that he changes it to "The smartest girl in the world", but Jimmy managed to convince her to let him call her "The most beautiful AND smart girl in the world". Kim calls Jimmy "James McGill class" in her phone book. They usually eat lunch together in a place far away from the other kids. Jimmy always engraves "K+J" with a heart surrounding it on every surface he sees, such as trees, desks, and more.
- Max was a painfully corny guy when it comes to romance, as if he learned everything he knows about relationships from the worst romance films ever. Gus wasn't all that knowledgeable in this kind of stuff, but he wanted to adapt himself and make Max happy so he tried to be romantic/corny as well, but it turns out he's really bad at these things, and his failed attempts at acting "like Max" never failed to make Max laugh, he saw it as the purest thing ever and he hoped that Gus would never stop trying.
Should I post more should I post more I have so many of those in my vault. Sooo many. Just say if you want more I will post them ALL!!!!! I just don't wanna make it super long so I thought it would be better to post it in parts lol
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vernahateclub · 8 months
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All post-wedding dialogue
I married Amirah and here are all the NPC lines after the wedding sequence
(captured during EA, might have changed since then. Also no Haru/Logan)
Andy: Nice shindig, Builder. Course, if it was me; organ music is a bit corny. I woulda done rock guitars! Twenty minute drum solo between vows! Dancers explode out of the cake, they're wearing- wait a sec, am I seriously talkin' about my own wedding right now? Get it together, Andy. Get it together...
Arvio: Anyone who doesn't believe in true love... well, it's a pity they missed this ceremony! Even one with a heart of stone would have melted after hearing your wedding vows...
Banjo: Meow!
Burgess: "Though you met in darkness, your souls are on in the Light..." Pretty good, huh! Heh, well. Not mine. Deacon of Meidi! But it totally reminded me of you two! You shine brighter than like... all the stars combined!
Catori: If your marriage was a business, I'd invest every last penny! Here's to wishing you many years of happiness.
Coco: Coo! Coo!
Cooper: Welcome to the club, builder! The marriage club! Now, it's not an official organization. We don't have membership cards. I mean, we have marriage licenses, which, I reckon for all intents and purposes could suffice as a membership card, but, well, to me that just wouldn't feel right. First thing you're gonna wanna get straightened out in your marriage is who sleeps on which side of the bed... (you realize there has probably never been a better time to slowly back away.)
Dan-bi: Congratulations, congratulations! And now, as this monumentous ceremony nears its close: time to get down to business... that's right, I'm talkin' about babies, baby! Good chance our kids'll be the same age... then they can have a best friend right out the gates! Well... you think about it...!
Deputy Captain: Meow meow!
Elsie: So what was it like standin' up there? Was it more... beauty of this miracle called life? Or more... Warmth of the Bright Sun in the form of finding true love amongst those closest to you? Ooh, I can tell the way you're lookin' at me, it's both!
Ernest: If I ever need to write about the perfect wedding, I'll always be able to draw upon this moment for inspiration. Congratulations, Builder
Fang: I pray for you to be forever... as two swans
Grace: You're going to have to give the rest of us dating advice at some point, Builder. It's not easy to bag a keeper like you did, eh?
Heidi: What a wonderful ceremony... Hey, extended family means expanded homestead, am I right! Just come by Construction Junction anyti- oh, shoot, I just did an ad spot at your wedding. Sorry! And congratulations again!
Hugo: Nothin' like a good start as a good omen for a happy marriage. Steer the course, Builder. You've got this.
Jasmine: Your wedding has been super fun, Builder! I love the flowers, too! I just wish there was someone here taking pictures... maybe that's what I'll do when I grow up; take pictures at weddings. Then you can relive this moment anytime you want!
Jensen: Hey, with this wonderful ceremony coming to an end, it's time to start thinking about your honeymoon! Why not take a train to Lucien! I hear it's nice this time of year.
Justice: Dang, Builder, you're a lover and a fighter! Not many people get to say that! Hence... you know, the whole nature of the phrase revolving around the idea that one must choose one or the other...
Krystal: Ah, shoot... I was really hopin' we could have someone from the Salvage Co. Who could make it through the ceremony without cryin' but... aw, here it goes...! Waaahhh!
Mabel: Oh, Builder. You two are like peas in a pod. Like bread and butter. A real match made in heaven! Oh... I can hardly contain myself...!
Macchiato: Meow!
Matilda: I must say, in all my years, I have never read for a more earnest and unwavering couple. I wish you the best, but can say you hardly need any thoughts or prayers; your love is one that will surely last a lifetime.
Meerkat: Squeak! Squeak squeak!
Mi-an: You two look amazing together! And just think, all of this started with you hopping off that train platform oh so long ago... we've come so far and built so much... some of us building even... relationships!
Miguel: Keep your wedding vows, Builder. Take them home, put them somewhere safe. If ever things are hard, look at them again and try to recall the splendor of this moment. Congratulations.
Mort: Congratulations, Builder. You know, I always say my greatest achievement was convincing Martle to marry me. I wish you two the same happiness.
Nemo: Ruff! Ruff ruff!
Owen: Whew... I said I wasn't gonna cry... Oh, who am I kiddin', here come the waterworks... wahhh...! You two... are just so beautiful together... sniff...
Pablo: Love the outfits! You two match in just about every way possible! Seeing you two... oh... it makes me want to almost think about maybe considering having thoughts about one day... thinking about getting married.
Pebbles: Marry! Marry! Marry! When my ma and my pa gon get married...?!
Pen: Heyyy, you actually went through with it! I was kinda hoping to see someone get left at the altar, but... this while 'magical moment' thing kinda works, too. Congratulations!
Qi: Excellent work, Builder. Though, new to the sport, I'm quite confident that you're winning at wedding-having. I can honestly say I have never seen anyone so skilled at weddings before.
Rian: Hey! Me an' Dan-bi got married here, too! I guess not that much of a coincidence, it's the only place in town... but we've got that in common now and uh... I dunno, maybe gettin' married here is good luck or somethin'.
Rocky: Aw, man... I'm gettin' all warm and fuzzy inside... I... nah, Riast, I ain't cryin'... I'm just... talkin' in a really high voice for some reason...! Congratulations...!
Trudy: The family is the foundation of our society. It makes me proud to see someone like you putting down roots in our humble town. I'll keep trying to make our town a better place for you and your loved ones!
Unsuur: Wow, this wedding is great. You should get married every day.
Venti: I was clapping for you guys so much my hands hurt. Clap clap clap. Ow!
Vivi: I am just so glad with how the attire turned out, you two look absolutely to die for. Riast, it really has been an honor to be here and to be able to contribute on your special day. Congratulations! Now go and enjoy yourself, your grandma said so!
X: I want a brother! I want a sister! More birdies! More birdies!
Yan: Heyyy there newbie! Thanks again for the invite! Say, you're out of shrimp cocktails. And those tiny hotdogs. Aaaand... well, pretty much all of the hors d'oeuvres; I stuffed 'em all in my pants for later! So yeah, very happy for you la dee da dee da, go get us a re-up on those hors d'oeuvres! I'm starvin'!
Zeke: I used to be the guy to pronounce couples. Saw a lot of 'em stick together, a lot of 'em fall apart. Sometimes, only way to know if a shoe fits is to slip it on. Here's hopin' to many comfy walks for ya, Builder.
(I don't know what Amirah says as a wedding guest, but here's what she says as a bride)
Amirah: My only regret is that this moment couldn't have come sooner. Today, I feel our love emboldened by a new spark... I love you more than I ever thought possible, Builder. Thank you for this day..
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greyscor · 2 years
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Nerd desk decor
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NERD DESK DECOR SERIES
NERD DESK DECOR FREE
"We're proud to be part of the Knoll family and can't wait to unfold Muuto's global potential further in close collaboration with them. "I t serves as proof that we have something special to offer the design industry," the partners say. But it was a shared passion for all things design and and the distinctive style they dubbed “New Nordic” that rapidly brought worldwide recognition. Sharper Image Light Up Electronic Word Clock, Copper Finish with LED Light Display, USB Cord and Power Adapter, 7.75in Square Face, Unique Contemporary Home and Office Decor. Peter and co-founder Kristian Byrge, who originally trained in economics and management respectively, might not have seemed destined to helm a new-influencer design firm.
NERD DESK DECOR FREE
Expanding on that success, Muuto was subsequently acquired by legendary brand Knoll In 2017, though it continues to be run independently from the company's headquarters in Copenhagen. Free shipping available on orders over 55. I have spent numerous hours collecting these cool office accessories. The coolest accessories are those that can be customized to. Having a cozy and high-tech office equipped with cool desk gadgets isnt a dream. By giving free rein to the brightest design talent in Sweden, Norway, Finland and Denmark, there’s the breathing room to conjure a new take on a chair, vase or a lamp. Your office desk should be fun and functional, but most importantly, it should scream you. "We give the designers the freedom to create new designs,” says co-founder Peter Bonnén. Sexy Halloween costumes for women 1.Muuto made its impact on the design world by living up to its namesake "muttos,” the Finnish word that alludes to looking at things with a new perspective. So trick or treat yourself with the best sexy Halloween costumes of 2022. No matter what you go with, you’ll look fang- tastic for the spooky Halloween season. When you're bored at work, you can drag your paper clips around to create a new look. The physicist is known for his interesting hair, and on this desk toy, you get to use paper clips to create your own Einstein look. If that’s the case, choose a sexy Halloween costume for couples. Einstein and nerdiness go hand-in-hand, and this desk toy is just as cool as it is useful. Computer Geek Decor Computer Nerd Gift Computer Programmer Decor Computer Office Decor Coding Decor Coding Art Set of 3 prints WB286-288-289. Perhaps you’ll ditch the solo costumes and dress up with your boo. Debugging Funny Computer Programmer Funny Awesome Art Print Decor - Computer Nerd Geek Humor - 11x14 Unframed Decorative Wall Art Photo Gift - Dorm, Apartment, Office Decor - Accessories Under 15 3. Or, will you go with a sexy Halloween costume for men? Think King Pharaoh or a Greek God. Will you opt for a sexy Halloween costume for women? You know, like a fabulous nerd or a cute sailor. So say goodbye to those candy corny options of the past and hello to these ske l e-funchoices. Trick or treat! 5 places to stock up on Halloween Candy as shortages mountĮveryone will say, “Oh my gourd, you look great,” when you roll into the party wearing these sexy Halloween costume ideas. cock fucked hawaiian challenge nerdy tatted daddies cumming leaked chica.
NERD DESK DECOR SERIES
Get extra spooky with this list of Halloween makeup from Amazon 38 herself guy cum desk decor japanese &amp some teasing pussy hot teen with. OPEN ME FOR EP 2Remember to SUBSCRIBE, LIKE, & COMMENTHey guysHere's the second episode of the DIY Desk Makeover series DIY Desk Decor Make sure to. These are the cutest DIY boo basket ideas for the spooky seasonīoo! Or woof and meow? Shop the best cat and dog Halloween costumes of 2022
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coquelicoq · 2 years
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K!
Put a letter from A-Z in my ask and I’ll tell you 1 thing I love which starts with that letter.
i love killer sudoku. objectively the superior variation of sudoku, and i say this as a person who was solving one earlier today and made a mistake somewhere and had to give up because i did it in pen lol.
i love the expression "keep on keepin' on" even though i hardly ever use it because it feels very trite and corny. but maybe i should just embrace it. live my trite, corny truth.
i love karaoke...in theory.
i love kids. i love how every time i hang out with a kid it reminds me to cultivate curiosity and wonder. kids know the things i've forgotten. i love how hard they're trying. i love their imaginations.
i love kittens. so small! so fuzzy! so full of meow!
i love keys. i love privacy and selective trust. i love decryption keys. i love key chains and key rings. i love the heft of a key in your hand. i love that a key is one half of a mechanism, the portable half, only rarely reunited with its other half. i love that even when its other half has been lost, a key still has its own aesthetic value.
i love keyboards that go clack clack clack.
i love it when people say "[song title], sung in the key of [key]". i can't recognize any keys so that is meaningless to me, but i love knowing that it's doing something for other people.
i love the word "keen", how it's a sharp sound used to describe a sharp sound, or some other sharp thing.
i love the back formation "kudo". parsing the mass noun "kudos" as a plural count noun because of the s on the end, taking off the s to make a singular noun...i see how you got there.
i love kissing! i love being kissed. i love french kissing. i love forehead kisses. i love it when you blow someone a kiss and they act like they're catching it out of the air. i love the concept that you can soothe pain by kissing an injury. i love saying "kiss kiss" like some kind of socialite.
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ray-jaykub · 2 years
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'To fill a hole' NSFW Michelangelo x fem! reader
Warnings may include: Smut, yeah I think that's it
A/n: Me and @hagelpaimon did a little fic trade for eachother simply as a spur of the moment type thing and we wanted you to enjoy it as well!
Rating: MA
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It’s late, your clothes smell stale and you're desperately trying to get the sounds of a crying baby out of your head. You take a deep breath. “I’m so ready to be home, that trip had been a total bust.” April’s eyes cut to you then back to the road. “That bad?” You throw your head back against the headrest, groaning. “Don’t even get me started, I’m just glad to be on the ground and in the city.” looking out the window, you take in the lights and people down the road. So many bad things, right after the other, had occurred in the month you were sure the next one would be spent recovering.
Your muscles were sore and your feet ached, a longing in your soul. Sighing for what felt like the hundredth time April clears her throat. “Well I know a certain someone excited to see you,” She stops at a red light, turning to you, “He’s been bouncing off the walls since you left. I’m surprised he hasn’t gone crazy.”That makes you feel alot better, smile even. The mental image of Mikey this past month is easy to see. Bugging his family, especially Raph, to the point of insanity while badly singing corny love songs to pictures of you on his phone. Even though You had called him and made a point to hear him everyday, it wasn’t the same as being with him. To feel his energy and love was addictive and you were experiencing heavy signs of withdrawal. Corny sounding, but true.
“I miss him too, don’t think I could leave for that long ever again.” She laughs, parallel parking beside your apartment. “You need help bringing your bags up? I know you’ve gotta be exhausted.” You shake your head and open the door. “Nah, it’s only two bags. I’ll text you in the morning though, be careful.” She waves, leaving you on the sidewalk.
This hallway has always smelt like damp carpet and cigarettes, you can hear various sounds coming through doors you pass. They’re all the same as when you left, the arguing couple, laughing college kids, and even the sound of what everyone thinks is a feral chihuahua. These sounds that used to keep you up at night, bothering you, now felt like a small warm welcome back into their presence. The white noise you’ve come to appreciate over the years. What you aren’t used to though is coming home to your lights on. You try the knob to see it’s unlocked and slowly you push your door open. The living room light was on but the rest of the house was dead quiet. Maybe you had left the light on in your hurry to leave? You shrug it off and drop your bags. Noone else has to know you’re home yet, it won’t kill them to wait another 12 hours.
You head for the couch, patting at your cat. “Hey Swirley, you miss me freeloader?” She meows, rubbing against your palm once and hopping off the bed. “Sounds about right.” God your feet hurt. You kneel down and start slipping off your shoes when you hear the sound of your window sliding open, specifically your bed-room window. Quickly, you get up and head down the hall and hear the sound of your boyfriend cursing. Whipping open the door you see Michelangelo rubbing the back of his head, bent over from hitting it on the window sill. He pops up though, startled by the noise and freezes.
“You’re home…”
“Yeah”
“When?”
“Just 30 minutes ago”
The silence is almost unsettling for who you’re standing in front of and even more so with the way he’s looking at you but when he smiles it's electric and you’re both moving on auto pilot. A clash of lips and teeth, his hands pressed against your ear but they move to slide into your hair as he sucks on your bottom lip. You quickly open your mouth to him and his thick tongue wraps around your smaller one. He swallows your moan and churrs heavily, hands rubbing over your back and to your thighs. You wrap your legs around his slim waist as he picks you up, clumsily turning around towards the bed. His arms flex as he lays you across the bed and lays his body against yours, a half hard on pressing against you.
He slips away from your mouth and trails wet kisses across your cheek to the crook of your jaw, sucking on the skin. “You-” He kisses down your throat. “-have no-” Sucks at the side of your neck. “-idea-” His hands rub down your sides and back up under your shirt, squeezing your love handles. “-how much I missed you.” Mikey’s body is now firmly slotted against yours slowly grinding into you, nose to nose you share the same breath. feather like you kiss him. “I missed you too, so much baby.”
 He quickly slips your shirt off and then tugs at your bra the next. “Take this off for me angel, yeah?” You whine as he pulls himself off of you, leaning back onto his shins, but it dies when he starts to strip himself of his gear. The straps that hold his board release and let it fall with an almost worrisome sound but before you can ask if it’s okay that’s when the real show begins.
 Big hands make way with the jacket around his waist and you falter in removing your own clothes at the sight of his waistline. The way it all dips and connects to what you’ve been wanting, the hard, sculpted plastron leading to his softer parts. When he starts to pull his shorts down you quickly take off your pants, tossing them  just in time for him to kiss you again. His hands are back on you, gripping your thigh and dragging you back under him. "Love these so much, so soft." His mouth is on your neck again, sucking darker spots on your collar bone. His hands tug your panties to the side and he dips a finger into your entrance, dragging slick up through your folds and catching your clit with the rough pad of his finger. Your toes curl when he drags down and up to it a second time and you have to swallow air.
"Please just fuck me already." Your own hands start rubbing the back of his neck and shoulders, admiring the raised skin on his shoulders. Mikey gently nips at your areola and laughs. "Can't wait to make you scream again." When you think he's about to adjust and pull his briefs down he instead flips you over onto your stomach. "Mikey what–" your voice dies in your throat as you feel him lift your ass up, keeping your shoulders pressed into the mattress.
"Sorry, just easier to touch you this way." You have to take a deep breath before your lungs collapse. Your skin pulses and your hips stutter when he slides a thick finger into your heat, kissing the apple of your ass with an open mouth. Eating you and taking you in like some once in a lifetime dessert, feeling your gooey insides with his fingers. His free hand reaches to roam under you, feeling up your stomach and squeezing at your chest, thumbing your nipple. You huff, lifting your head to look over your shoulder.
"I appreciate the attention but if I don't feel your cock in a minute I'll go feral." His head tips back, laughing. "Remind me after this I need to wife you up fast." Michelangelo sits up, peeling his boxers off with one hand and palming your ass with the second. Your hips jump at the feeling of his dick slapping your lips. He slips in-between them, nudging at your clit with the head. He bends over to kiss along your spine when he finally lines himself up against your entrance and pushes.
"Oh fuck, fuck fuck fuck! I've missed you so so much, missed this pussy so much" He's whispering. Whimpering and you're sure you feel a tear hit your back but before you can look back again he draws back and slams in. Stars swim in your vision and your hands scatter to grab whatever it can hold, taking the sheet off the corner of the bed. He slams in again to test the waters and you swear your ass claps when he starts at breakneck speed. His hand slams down beside your head and he hunches over you, curving your back. His mouth is next to your ear, breathing out a string of curses and praising the way you feel.
You can feel your stomach knotting up, the string getting tighter and tighter. Reaching back you aim for his head to kiss him again but your hand slips and catches his chain. It has the same outcome but the way it affects him makes your eyes cross. He moans, loud and right into your ear, he slows his once and is now deep stroking. Slamming towards the end for emphasis and it's when he rolls his hips and brushes his head right against your g-spot, you come fast. Your head whips back.
"Ah! Yes right there, hooollly shiiiit" your voice slurs and your mouth waters. Mikey nudges his nose against your shoulder, slightly shaking and thighs tensing. He's out of breath when he asks, "W- where do I need to-" you cut him off. "God please inside!"
 All of a sudden a comforting warmness fills you, spreading from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. It makes your brain even fuzzier than it already was. Wet kisses are being sprinkled across your shoulders when he pulls out. "I've missed you so much, you have no idea"
"I think I have a clue." You're both laughing when he helps turn you over to lay beside him, pressed chest to chest. "Never leave that long ever again, I don't think I handle you being gone well" His arms tighten around you and your heart swells. Your troubles had all been forgotten and stay forgotten as you both lay in the dark.
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wiltedkyinn · 2 years
Text
You and I,
1, 2.5
cullen family x male reader, jasper hale x male reader.
short
not proofread meow
.
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as the days went by jasper kept staring at the boy he had somewhat met at his house. of course you took noticed at the blonde boy, he was basically glaring at you during lunch. his siblings also took notice and starting teasing him about his newly founded crush.
one day though you gave up with the glances and walked towards his seat in english, you sat down next to him. Clearly surprising him, not completely sure what to do he just stared at you. "you know it's rude to stare?" your voice broke the uncomfortable silence between the two. "oh- um, it's hard not to, your so much handsome then everyone else 'round here" his voice softend towards the end. he was using a classic Emmett corny pick up line. you only giggled, "why thank you cowboy, your not that bad yourself." your face scrunching a little to come off as a playful manner. he felt so comfortable with you, he felt an explosion in his dead hurt, one that would make him believe if his heart was beating again. he only smiled. his blood lust long forgotten.the class once settled down once the bell rang. you could heard as jasper pulled out a pen out and quickly scribbled something on a random piece of paper. he slid the folded note to your side, quickly figuring out what he was doing you take it from his hands. "you smell amazing btw what cologne do you use?" y/n quietly chuckled at the cute boys hand writing, it was proper, almost cursive. "im not sure lol some cheap vanilla cologne from target !" you wrote down in your monster looking handwriting compared next to his. you swiftly passed it back. he looked at you for a moment before slightly swinging his head to his right. "Mr. hale, this isn't the time to stare at Mr. l/n. pay attention, you need it." the teacher called out. you tried to not laugh, it clearly showing on your face. jasper gave a quick glare before giving an apology nod.
English being there last period of the day, they bid goodbyes.
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faesrepose · 3 years
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what dating elliot’s stupid ass would be like:
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elliot x fem!reader
kinda wrote this based off of me LMFAO
♡ smoking in your room, especially with el, because your mom is pretty laid back since she smokes as well
♡ this mf will call you at 2 am just to ask if you wanted to come over and smoke
♡ you guys are one of those corny stoners who love to watch bojack horseman or rick and morty after a smoke sesh
♡ foreheadkissesforeheadkissesforeheadkisses
♡ ELLIOT IS ALWAYS WITH YOU. he will not give you a break i swear
♡ he’s completely and utterly attached to you and always wants you to come over or come with him places just to have you around with him
“do you really have to go out tonight to dinner with your mom? come over and i’ll make you something bro”
♡ when both of you are stupidly high from a few bong rips, you try to force elliot to listen to kpop ..
♡ this mf laughs as he lets out a small cough from the j he just hit, “baby i’m not listening to kpop”
♡ this loser ends up liking the few girl group songs you played for him :|
“i see you over there tapping your foot to twice bitch”
♡ both of you fucking around and dancing to gee by girls generation LMFAOEB
♡ him genuinely wanting/trying to get clean because he has something permanent in his life that he doesn’t want to fuck up for once.
♡ reminding him how proud you are that he’s genuinely trying not to feed into his temptations with drugs
♡ rather than losing it on him, you remind him that this path is not going to be linear 
♡ “yo are you trying to like... seduce me right now?” anytime you make a stupid sexual joke around him and shower him in affection
♡ he likes when you put makeup on him 
♡ HE LOVES WHEN YOU PAINT HIS NAILS
♡ especially when you try different colors on different nails
♡ el is definitely comfortable in his masculinity that makeup and painting his nails or wearing things you have him try on do not bother him :’)
♡ smoking with him and his cousin in the living room all the time
♡ he definitely loves to watch true crime shit with you (especially while high) and have deep conversations about conspiracies and the murder cases both of you just watched
♡ you and jules making this mf dress up with cool outfits you pick for him from his closet all the time. listen, he won’t admit it but he likes to model for your fashion masterpieces
♡ he loves watching u sleep when he accidentally wakes up in the middle of the night or wakes up to you in the morning. he didn’t realize he could love a person in the way that he does with you so it’s a lovely sight for him
♡ “bro you’re so grooosss” he’d sometimes liked to say jokingly, any time you get carried away kissing up on his neck while he’s bein sweet to you whenever you guys are in his room
♡ YEAH THATS ANOTHER THING, you guys call each other dude and bro as if you two are best friends even though you’ve been dating for awhile now
♡ sleeping over all the time!!!!! you’re bigger than the other girls he’s been with but this doesn’t change anything though. what he feels for you is genuine and he sees you in such a beautiful light, an example being how he loves to offer you his baggier tees so you’re still included in wearing his stuff :(
♡ you sometimes feel insecure due to it but it’s not his fault. you just let your insecurities get the best of you
♡ “baby are you fucking serious? there’s nothing wrong with you. i promise you that you’ve got quite the killer body”
♡ him wiping your tears and kissing the side of your head repeatedly, making you laugh as a result
♡ trauma dumping because ya’ll both absolutely trust each other with so much.
♡ dumb texts between the two of you all the time
el ^_^ : guess what
you: meow
el ^_^ : deez nuts
♡ he’s always playing his guitar around u whenever you did homework or doodled in your notebook
♡ he loves to sing shit quietly for you all the time and you find it soothing
“ el that was really fucking good what”
“don’t lie to me”
“IM SERIOUS”
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starcrossedyanderes · 3 years
Text
Kitty Love (Part 2)
Previously on Kitty Love: 
But his day got a bit better as the owner of the house apparently spotted him and decided to let him in. Normally he wouldn’t be about that but it was rainy and you looked nice.. and delectable.
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“Oh my gosh! You are absolutely soaked! Poor thing, come on inside!”
You eyes had met those of blue and you immediately raced off to open your back door.
The tuxedo cautiously looked around before deeming it acceptable and strutting on in.
‘I could use a warm place and this human doesn’t seem all too bad. I have my uses for her, after all.’
Upon closer inspection of his state you were horrified to see him somewhat shivering.
“You must be freezing! And hungry, too! If you wait just a moment I’ll get you some nice towels and food.”
And you scurried off to fetch him things as he just sat in your living room.
You raced back and seemed to insert a weird thing in the wall before placing it on the floor which was soon covered up by a green fluffy towel.
You beamed at your ingenious of putting down a blanket on top of essentially another blanket.
“There! That should get you nice and warmed up in a bit! Milo always seemed to enjoy this setup after a bath! Oh yeah! You probably want food, don’t you kitty?”
As Experiment 54889 sat on the now warmer towel you cautiously placed a hand on his head. To your sheer shock he seemed.. content with it!
‘Huh, this is one oddly warm towel. And the headpats are.. kinda nice. I’ll tolerate them as long as I get my food.’
54899 was almost tempted off of his warm spot(TM) upon a heavenly aroma entering his little button nose.
“It’s the (Y/n) special~! In other words I don’t have any cat food on me so you get.. drumroll please! That’s right, lunch meat!”
‘She is certainly enthusiastic about lunch meat. Smells good though.’
Once the plate was set down in front of him he began to chow down and your rambling began.
“Milo used to go crazy over this stuff so I figured other cats must love it too. Although I suppose you’re nice and full on all of those yummy birds in the area. I bet the townsfolk are really happy that you guys are helping prevent the number of attacks and accidents.’’
54899 just chose to ignore your weird rambling so he could properly enjoy his meal.
Once finishing he began to somewhat actually listen to whatever the heck you were talking about.
“Well since we’re going to be stuck with each other for a while we might as well get you a name. I’ll start.. My name is (Y/n). Now how about for you?”
54899 let out a meow of protest as you slightly lifted him up to get a look at his nether regions. 
“Well you’re certainly a male, so that narrows the name choices down.”
‘Oh, so you are interested in mating.’
You let out a weird mix of a laugh and a sigh.
“Okay, okay, I know it’s corny and super generic along with stupid but how about Mr. Mittens? Because of your little booties?”
LIttle did you know, Mr. Mittens could not care less about names.
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