#that oddly enough shows up on spotify just. not for us listeners to actually listen to!

[sameschmidtdiffname]

And now, for some shit ain't nobody asked for... *drumroll please...*

Fanboy Futturman Headcanons That Hardly Make Sense Unless You're Deranged

(because it's fun)

Tags: just rawdog it bruh, idk what this is. I got fucken murmed.

Notes: Special thanks to @luverstream for going insane with me. This list is based off of our oddly specific thread. Love you pookers <3

                        °☆>》¤●¤《<☆°

• 100% started writing fanfiction for 'Biotic Wars' because there was only two works in the whole fandom and they were both illiterate/ooc

• It started as a challenge because he likes writing as a hobby so he made a random account on Tumblr and wrote a one-shot from Tigers POV just for shits and giggles

• He didn't expect literally anyone to read it, maybe a couple notes

• Then around his lunch break the next day his phone won't. Stop. Dinging.

• Long story short, he ends up with an account with like. 1.1k followers

• Once he realizes he has a serious reader base, he takes his blog seriously

• He spends a weird amount of time perfectly curating his blogs aesthetic with mods and whatever extentions he can find

• Personally commissions other fans for his fanfic borders, proper gifs, etc. He has one fanfic actually illustrated for Kinktober and it stays at the top of the 'Biotic War' tags for months

• Speaking of Kinktober, literally will not make plans for October/late September because he knows he's gonna aim to post everyday

• Will stay up for days writing when he gets hyperfixated

• Hates posting short fics. If the number doesn't end with a .k he doesn't post it until it does

• Also has a bunch of Easter eggs from his favorite movies and such in his works as well

• Knows an insane amount of copywrite laws because he's had to deal with people illegally selling his works/uploading them on other platforms

• When he eventually gets a partner he initially lies and says he wanted to become a lawyer when he was a kid, thus why he knows so much

• That works for about 12 minutes before he finally breaks down and tells them the truth, then offers to show them his work because he's told literally no one in his personal life about it

• His partner eventually becomes his editor and co-author on certain works (mainly smut)

• Half the time when he's actively working on smut he's gotta stop midway to "test the accuracy" w/ said partner

• Writes OUTRAGEOUS smut that makes him unable to look in the mirror while he's writing it

• Deadass hides under his blankets in total darkness with tape over his computers camera because of the shame

• Has a collection of proofreaders/consultants because his first smut included cervix penetration and he got dragged by basically everyone on Tumblr for it

• Had a work get popular enough one time one of his friends sent it to him because they figured he'd get a kick out of it

• Which made him panic and stop writing for like a month to lay low

• Has a completely different Spotify account for writing because his mom uses his "normal" account even though he has a family plan (side note: they make little playlists for each other :))

• Has like 50 different playlists dedicated to his fics that's available for his readers to listen to

• The artists all range from Deftones to dodie depending on the work

• His top artist is Ayesha Erotica with 2000+ minutes spent on 'Yummy'

• (Also has an impossible amount of hours logged on said Spotify account)

• Has a whole panic attack when he leaves his phone in the 60s because he had a whole new chapter ready to publish in his 20 part hurt/no comfort/slowburn fic that was over 10.k words in his notes app

• Wolf finds his Ao3 account one time and becomes... concerningly obsessed with Futturmans work without realizing Futturman is the author

• It gets to the point Wolf will legit go on 30+ minute rants about the stories while Futturman is just hyperventilating in the corner because he doesn't know how long he can keep up the facade

• It gets worse when Wolf makes an account and starts actually commenting on the works

• However he ends up getting impressive tips from the rants and ends up incorporating his suggestions into his works

• Wolf never stops bragging about this

• His most popular work/series follows a female oc that originally started as a one-shot request for a oc x Wolf fic (which Wolf hates because he says it's OoC. Futturman does not agree nor care.) But ended up getting popular enough there's well over 20 parts

• At some point he, Wolf and Tiger get into a massive argument because he finds a bound copy of all of his works amongst their supplies and no one will confess who's it is and keep blaming each other

• (It's Tigers)

• When he gets to his final timeline he manages to get his all of his drafts back through Susan (who had a lot of questions, and was given no answers) and just publishes his work as an original series since Biotic Wars no longer exists

• "Orginial series" gets insanely popular and now he has like five burner accounts so he can read fanfiction of his own fanfiction

• Writes fanfiction for his own series purposely to fuck with the fanbase

• Usually will make it ooc but well written, but once in awhile comes up with a "headcanon" that will come true in his next book so he can watch the readers implode

• And last but not least

• He casts his other self in the final timeline as the male lead in the eventual movie adaptation. Because of course he would

(Bonus: in the OG timeline when Futturman ends up disappearing, his biggest series ends up never being finished, nor his blog updated. Leading to a weirdly thorough four hour video docuseries made by Wendigoon about the rise and disappearance of the mysterious author and how the 'Biotic Wars' fandom eventually finished the fic themselves and created their own spinoffs, leading the work to get more popular than 'Biotic Wars' ever was and like five different people falsely claiming they wrote it, only to be disproven within an insanely short amount of time. Yeah, kinda a full on My Immortal.)

                           >¤》○《¤<

Don't ask me what this was, I think I got possessed. Anyways, bon achoo sweet.

Taglist:

@cassiecasluciluce @gh0u1ishly @joshhutchersons-slut @schmidtsbimbo @sugarevans @wompwompwomp57 . Thank you for your support pookies!!! <3

               •▪︎Masterlist▪︎•

[frankmillerturnonyourlocation]

Spotify Wrapped Prompt #66

Into the house, the halls in my mind/Into the rooms, the wandering eyes Warning for: drug use, description of trip by someone who doesn’t use lmao

"Poindexter, get off your keister, the kids are back. Soos!" Stan stirred his coffee briskly with a rapid clink-clink. "Get the kiddie pools in here, pronto!"

Ford lifted himself from the armchair with some effort, notebook nestled under his arm and fountain pen tucked behind his ear. The sounds of his great-niece and nephew greeted him before the sight of them.

"–just saying, there were easier ways."

"I'm surprised at you, Dip-Dop. If I didn't know any better, I would think that this was your first time engaging in yo-yo based combat!"

"Speaking of, this incident has made us redundantly thieves, since there's no way we're getting that yo-yo back to Hoo-Ha's. Add it to the list. Hope your girlfriend behind the counter doesn't come after us."

"Don't worry, we can order a bazillion of 'em for cheap off this cool website I found. Hey, Grunkle Stan!"

Dipper and Mabel, sweat-soaked and exhausted but no worse for wear, came tearing into the gift shop, plopping down about five gallon-sized bags each of a viscous, off-white liquid next to the cash register. It left a thick connecting strand behind when they pulled their hands away.

"Cash only," Stan deadpanned, poking one of the bags with a pen. It slumped over.

Ford entered the room with only a little bit of a limp. "Kids! I'm glad you're back. How goes the supply run?"

"Fantastic!" Mabel slid her backpack onto the floor and bent down to unzip it. "We have so much lemon juice. We're throwing off the town's culinary landscape for at least a month!"

"We got the juice, the herbs, and the drool," Dipper said, tapping the air like he was crossing each item off an invisible checklist. "I'm like ninety percent sure we gathered enough for at least a couple batches. Unless we have to mess with proportions significantly. But, yeah, I think we'll be okay."

"Great job, you two. Grab those bags of Kewpie drool, we're going to the kitchen."

"To the kitchen!"

"...this is spit? You kids put monster spit on my countertop?"

"To the kitchen!"

"It's oozing– augh, Mabel, look at this. Look at what you did to your grunkle."

~

With the pot on the stove at a comfortable boil and the kitchen filling with an oddly fresh, almost floral scent, Mabel felt like she had a chance to relax for the first time that day. First time in a couple days, actually. Sitting on top of the kitchen table, she stretched her arms high overhead, her muddy feet comfortably perched on her brother's lap.

"How'd you end up grinding those teeth down to a powder like this, Grunkle Ford?"

"Fiddleford showed me a fine contraption he had strung together some time back." Ford stroked his chin. "He told me it was a prototype intended as a nutcracker, but that it was far too brutish to be effective. Something he started but forgot to come back to."

"Hey, he remembered that he forgot about it. Still sounds like progress to me."

"Heh, that's nothin'. I remember about eight things before lunchtime!" Stan handed his brother a sprig of greenery, a unique strain of vervain that Mabel and Dipper had spent the better part of two hours searching for in the sun-speckled patches of the Gravity Falls woods.

"He means the eight times he forgets and remembers where he placed the TV remote." Ford let out a wry, breathy laugh as his brother elbowed him. He tore the leaves from the stem and dropped them each into the saucepan of drool, lemon juice, and dissolved deer teeth.

Mabel closed her eyes and listened to the odd sizzle of the vervain hitting the concoction. The kitchen was warm– as poorly insulated as the room was, it would have been warm with nothing on the stove and nobody inside. But now, with her whole family crowded around a boiling pot in the dead of July, the heat was damp, suffocating, the kind of heat that settled on the skin and hung in the air. Overwhelming.

Mabel loved it. She took a swig from her aluminum water bottle, choked on it a little, and reached up to untangle the sweat-soaked scrunchie from her hair.

"Where is our third-favorite crazy old man, anyway?"

"Upstairs," Ford said simply, stirring slowly.

Stan took a sip of his coffee.

"Awwright, dudes!"  Soos swinging around the doorframe and into the kitchen gave Mabel the perfect distraction from the way Dipper's eyebrows had pinched. (His muscles relaxed the second he heard Soos' voice, anyway, which Mabel considered a bonus.) "Missus and Mini Mystery are locked into position! As in, they're going to stay at the park for a little while longer, get some fast food, and, uh, go see a movie. We've got til bedtime."

Dipper grinned. "What's Wen gonna make Melody see? Did they make a Glippy and the Glarbonauts movie already?"

"Ooh, or that dumb thing with the robot dogs I keep seeing ads for online?"

"Mabel, you would have been all over that kind of show as a kid."

Soos set his phone on the table. "Hey, Roborex is a quality family franchise. And we looked up reviews for this one, and so far, critics have been receiving it far better than they did the first three."

"Soos, stop talkin' about baby shows on my phone."

"It's not your phone, Grunkle Stan! You didn't even buy the minutes on it."

"It's a substitute for my broken landline, isn't it?"

"Your landline?"

Mabel put her hands on her hips. "It was a gift for the both of you."

"Yeah, yeah, but Ford never cared about our toys like I did." He waved his hand. "Anyway, don't waste my minutes. I like using a phone nobody knows the number to. Shoulda had the Shack's number changed years ago."

With a beleaguered sigh, Ford balanced the wooden spoon on the edge of the pot. "Would one of you please go and check on Fiddleford? I need to strain the solution now, but it shouldn't be allowed to cool before the next ingredient is added."

And there went Dipper's shoulders again. Mabel imagined she could even feel his thighs tense through the soles of her sneakers.

"No need," came the thin, reedy voice from the doorway. "Ah'm here. Stan, give yer brother a hand with that swill."

"I'll give him exactly eight more fingers, how's about that," Stan muttered, reaching for the strainer.

McGucket stood in the doorway, his already slight frame made somehow smaller by the circumstances. When he spoke, Dipper had pointedly turned his head to look out the window. Mabel noticed and made up for it, staring keenly at what he held carefully in his old, gnarled hands.

"That's all we'll need?" She asked airily.

He nodded, his expression unreadable.

~

Mabel thought it was the blood that made the potion change colors like it did, but it was actually the Tang, which she thought was pretty cool. "For taste," Ford offered to Dipper's questioning face.

Stan had largely separated himself from the nerd stuff, at this point, occupying his attention with the weird puppet Soos had pulled from a dumpster somewhere and wanted to turn into an exhibit. They whispered to each other about wood glue and varnish and little doll hats while Ford and Dipper geeked out about the procedures of the experiment.

"So was that the last ingredient?"

"Almost. I have to remember where I put... we're missing the psychoactive ingredient yet. In the sources I showed you, if you recall, the researchers made reference to an extremely rare, nearly deadly–"

"The mushrooms, yeah, I sticky-noted that page, I wanted to ask you about that. Did we get those? Do we need them?"

"Well–"

The more engaged they grew, seeming almost excited, McGucket shrunk further and further into the corner next to Mabel. She followed his gaze to the small, half-empty syringe of blood lying forgotten on the countertop.

"I correctly anticipated that my brother might have some–"

"Some old pals who owed me a few," Stan said, doing a poor job of pretending not to care about the conversation while he spit-shined one of the dummy's eyeballs.

"–some connections he was willing to exploit," Ford finished. McGucket tapped out a tight, erratic rhythm on his arm. Mabel watched his lips, imagined he was counting.

Ford had transferred the now-cooling liquid into a large eyedropper, the consistency requiring, though less viscous than before, more than a simple syringe. "Soos, my boy, would you go look for the blotter tabs on my desk? It should look like, ah, a sheet of very boring, square stickers."

"On it like a bonnet, dude." Halfway up the stairs, he said, "Oh, and I got the inflatable pools ready, but I haven't dumped all the salt in yet. Lemme know if we need that done next."

Ford nodded absently, but Dipper frowned. "I thought we weren't doing the sensory deprivation idea?"

"We said we would try it dry first, yes. But I thought it wouldn't hurt to have the pools prepared just in case our first trial has, well. Less than optimal results." McGucket's hand spasmed, then squeezed his arm. The Shack fell quiet.

It was Soos who spoke first. "So, uh, does that mean that we're, uh, gonna have to carry him downstairs?"

For the first time that day, McGucket and Ford made eye contact.

"Start upstairs," McGucket said, and that was that.

~

The open triangular window, its stained glass now slightly warped, hung loosely on its hinges. The thin light filtering through the oncoming storm clouds cast the room in a dusky blue.

It felt crowded in a way Dipper didn't think it ever had before; with everyone crowded around him, Ford looked like he didn't have enough elbow room to apply eyedroppers of their potion to the tabs of LSD on the desk table.

Dipper wondered absently if he had done this before and figured this wasn't the right time to ask.

"There," Ford said, something like resignation in his voice. "All ready."

Stan stood over him, arms folded tight across his chest, mouth set in a thin line. Dipper wished he would crack a joke, something that would get him elbowing McGucket, trying to get him to laugh. Something that would push some of the stale air out the window.

But, of course, the task fell to Mabel. "You know," she mused, eyeing the blotter paper, "I never thought our first time doing hard drugs would be with our grunkles, an old hillbilly man, and the puppet from Tales to Tickle Your Gooseflesh."

"You've thought about us doing drugs?" They had done crazier things. Dipper didn't know why the thought set him off-balance.

"Mabel Juice doesn't hit the same as it used to, bro-bro." Mabel poked Dipper's nose and earned herself an even more scandalized scowl. She winked at Soos. "I always pretty sure Soos would be involved, though."

"My dudes, I'm pretty sure I'm honored." Soos made the puppet on his arm salute the twins, wooden teeth clacking tight. Dipper shivered on the floor beside Mabel.

The Mystery Shack attic now held only one bed, pushed up sideways against the far wall. Dipper stared at the scuffs on the floor and felt a familiar weight under his sternum.

"I g–" Dipper cleared his throat. "I guess this is the best place for it, right? Um, with sober people around. Like. even if this was a normal– I mean, obviously this isn't going to be a normal trip, but I've, uh, read that before. Somewhere." He popped a knuckle. "I forget where I read that."

He cracked another finger into the silence.

"Couldn't have said it better myself, kid." Stan set a heavy hand on Dipper's shoulder. "Me an' Sixer are gonna be the best babysitters ever while you and your sister trip all the way into dreamworld." He wiggled his fingers as he said it. "Couldn't be safer than if you got these drugs from Uncle Sam himself!"

Dipper snorted. "Those MKUltra losers wish they could use LSD this effectively." He grinned at Stan. Stan grinned back.

Bolstered, Dipper adjusted his had and said, with something like bravado, "I'm all set. Any other preparations required before we start?"

"Go use the bathroom one more time."

"Oh my god, Grunkle Ford." Dipper rolled his eyes so hard it strained. "Our bladders are empty. If Mabel thinks she's gonna piss herself on the rug next to me, she can– um."

Mabel was staring at her fingers.

"Mabel." He gently bumped her with his shoulder. He looked to Soos, who was looking at Stan. "Maybe I'll pee one more time," Mabel said, thoughtfully.

Sucking his cheek, Stan said softly, "Sweetpea, you okay? You holding up?" Her eyebrows lifted, but her eyes didn't widen. "Me? Oh yeah, Mabel's floating through on cloud nine. I'm just thinking."

"Enlighten us," Dipper deadpanned overtop Ford's concerned "What's upsetting you, Mabel?"

"Not upset! Just thinking." Mabel opened her mouth as if to speak and stopped herself, giving instead a little breathless giggle. She chewed on her lip. Then, she said, "It would be super fun if we all went in together, though, right? Like last time."

Dippers eyebrows furrowed.

It felt, now, as if all the air had been sucked out of the attic. Not even the window hinges creaked. Dipper's mind swirled as he tried to catch up to Mabel's train of thought– last time? Does she mean when we chased Gideon into Stan's mind? Does she mean fucking Weirdmageddon? Why would she want– but the way his grunkles were making faces at each other distracted him just enough that he was left stumbling beside the railroad tracks until someone else spoke.

Stan was rubbing his neck so hard Dipper could see it start to turn red. "Sweetie, we– we talked about it, but–"

"It's risky enough as is."

Ford's shoulders jumped when McGucket spoke, as if he had forgotten he was there.

"Sendin' two a' you kids in together," he said, quietly. "It's not a stable connection. There's already a chance you'll lose one another."

"The dreamscape is different, now, Mabel." Ford almost sounded like he was pleading, pleading with her to understand that which he had already explained to Dipper and that which Dipper had neglected to pass on to his sister. It might not have mattered, though, because she was already nodding and waving him off as he tried to explain. "The fact of the matter is–"

"The fact." McGucket held up a scarred hand, but his voice lost its edge as he continued. "A' the matter is that we don't know what we're sendin' you into, kiddies. We just don't know. We can guess, based offa' what we used to know, and what we think should happen. But we don't know. And we're not goin' in with you."

"I know," Mabel said. Dipper couldn't place the emotion.

"But we wouldn't send either of you off alone." McGucket's smile was scared, sad, but genuinely warm. "You understand? We can't go with you, but we wouldn't ever send you alone."

"I know," Mabel said again. With a heavy sigh, she made her way to the rug, walking in a single circle before sitting down on it, like a dog. "Let's start," she said.

Dipper followed.

"You'd think the universe would get sick of this old formula at some point, right?" He mumbled into her ear as he sat down.

She raised an eyebrow.

"You know." He grinned. "Us against the world."

A slow smile bloomed across Mabel's face until she was smiling wider than Dipper was. "Not 'til we do."

They bumped fists and prepared to take tabs of contaminated LSD on their tongues like a sacrament. The clouds rolled in the sky outside the open triangle window, and the breeze that was blown in smelled like rain. Soos, puppet still on his arm, carefully reached over the bed to close and lock it. The body in the bed didn't stir.

"I'm going to count backwards from ten," Ford said softly as rain began pattering against the stained glass. "Ten, your eyes close. They feel heavy."

Dipper leaned his head back against the bed frame. Ford's voice was already slipping in and out of his ears like a glob of soap sliding down the side of the sink, and the last physical sensation he could recognize before the colors behind his eyes grew too loud was Mabel slipping her arm into his. His heartbeat stung, beating out a sewing-machine-rhythm that he could feel in his feet. The quickly-shrinking portion of Dipper's brain that still retained his internal dialogue began reciting times tables to slow his breathing and thanked its lucky stars that Dipper had put in the time to make and memorize a step-by-step procedure for how to visualize his way into his friend's coma.

There wasn't much of that he could access, not now that his brain had turned into green slime and was dripping out of his nose and onto his shirt, onto the little floor rug, onto the scuffs on the wooden floor from moving beds around, but he screwed his eyes tight and opened up the control panel in the little, miniature Dipper that had been hiding inside of the brain-slime. Brain Dipper reached his hands out to grip onto the thought of the one thing he needed to get himself and his sister out of this acid trip, their goalpost, their princess trapped in the tower, their ticket to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Emerson. That homeless asshole, lying half-dead in his bed. Fucker, Dipper said to him. It echoed inside the empty observatory of his skull.

[artobotsrollout]

Transformers: Harbingers

The Pirate Scream AU

Before I talk about it you guys are the best thank you for indulging me and my AU from this post xjdjd. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

@badlydrawntransformers @cosmic0de @warrioroffandoms @measlyfurball13 And a bonus thank you to those encouraging me in the tags as well ❤️

I plan to do art for it as well as accompanying written bits and maybe even an animatic but till then have some general info under the cut.

Also there is transformers: Prime spoilers below so open at your own risk.

TRANSFORMERS: HARBINGERS

So this AU comes from the same place many AUs heavily involving TfP Starscream come from: the unfulfilled potential in our boy Scream. Now deeper discussion of that is not gonna be in this post. It'd be a whole essay.

It also comes from just how salty I was that the Team's kindness never really benefitted them much and they kept getting slapped for it. And OP really wanted to win over a con and Starscream kept wanting a partner. ALSO ALSO Optimus was portrayed as keeping his emotions in check and then never really gets a message that it's okay to be emotional so... I'm doing that here.

And the Starscream Pirate AU was born...

Aka Transformers: Harbingers (maybe idk if it's catchy enough djjsw)

Why Harbingers? ''It's just a SHIP Starscream chills in for awhile in the show' ' I hear you say. WELL HANG ON!! I got two very good reasons!! .

First off: Starscream, with the help of some Cybertronians who he wins over one way or another (Ill get to that), help him essentially use the remains of the Harbinger to put together their own functional ship. It's smaller than the Nemesis and will take some pirate ship inspiration. While it is a hardy beast it's a bit jury rigged.

Second of all:

Imagine being a fictional character living in a ship with a name that basically means 'Foreshadowed bringer of change' and then going back to Megatron and his bullshit. I'm gonna grab this and run all the way with it. Highway to Hell just came on my Spotify so... That may be an omen.

---------

NOW LISTEN

I feel like Starscream and Optimus could really have had such an interesting dynamic but we never really got to see that in TfP and I feel cheated. Also both could have mutually benefitted a great deal.

So what do I do? I shove them together to be sorta begrudging Co-Captains. As a result there's a lot of shenanigans to be had!

How this happens OP has some run ins with cons and, through a way I'm still deciding, has the opportunity to extend a hand to Starscream. Starscream, being kindness starved, doesn't entirely know what to do about Optimus being nice to him one whole time with no sarcasm or ulterior motive and sorta starts trying to get his attention.

Starscream and his crew are a bit of their own team at this point. MEANING sort of new LOGOS!

I'm yoinking the crossed out Decepticon logo from the Dark Energon Starscream and Dark Energon Knockout toys cause I mean... It's right there and also kinda like a skull and crossbones. It fits too well guys.

Starscream essentially manages to win over the autobots enough so they can sorta make a mutually beneficial, if strained, alliance to aid their aligned goal: killing Megatron and revitalizing cyberton. This is aided by some slight changes to the plot of course. It's also a benefit, much to Ratchet's delight, since they finally get some cybertronian tech to work with.

And so they gotta work together to take Megatron out and there's much bonding moments esp later when the autobot base is destroyed. Starscream extends his hand to them and offers them a more permanent position onboard. (rubbing in how unfortunate their situation is and how this is such a big favour but he's paying Optimus back.)

And insert team dynamic stuff!! Like cons teaming up with Bots, Starscream and Optimus trying to stick with it leading their own teams but keep accidently backseat-leadering one another. I will write some other ex-con and bot dynamics cause there's a lot of chaos to be had.

Optimus doesn't open up to his crew for morale sake and masks his emotions well, and Starscream is... well Starscream is Starscream so he masks what he truly feels a lot and doesn't share a lot of personal stuff besides complaints with his team either. So there's a lot of tension.... That is until Starscream has had it at just how good a poker face Prime has.

Because he's absolutely paranoid got a harmless curiosity about Optimus's ulterior motives and wants potential dirty secrets he can use as blackmail to have power over the Prime, he essentially puts cybertronian booze (but kid friendly version of course fbejek) in Optimus's energon heavily expecting him to spill the beans when heavily drunk. What he doesn't expect is that Optimus is just... LIKE THAT to his core. He's smart but very sad and guilty. And maybe a bit weepy and exhausted cause this man has not shown an emotion for eons now. /s. Starscream doesn't know wtf to do but swayed by how earnest Optimus is he sorta softens up and does open up. Might have helped that he took a swig of the tainted energon to get on his level though. But it also helps that neither is the others subordinate so they don't need to maintain their image as badly with the Co-captain as they do their team.

The ex cons sorta accidently absorb some of the autobot's morals over time. The cons help the autobots have some fun. There's a lot of stuff learned both ways. Also the cons realize how cool humans can be and after a lot of argument and forced time spent with the kids, they want to protect earth too.

Starscream, helps Optimus open up a bit more and allow himself to be emotional. He also shows him how to be a little selfish. Optimus in turn helps him with self confidence and making friends. Both help each other with the shit Megatron put em both through and overall boost one another up. (This also does change the start of the war a bit but I'll get to that in another post.)

Miko tries to fight all of the cons at first but quickly changes her tune cause "BOOYAH PIRATE CONS!!"

Other bits about this AU:

Starscream will eventually get a slight design change. It'll be less scrappy and look more confident and put together. It'll be minor

Because they are on a flying ship but have less energon than the Nemesis, everyone gets equipped with mods for flight. There is a jetpack upgrade one can get or Knockout can straight up help change their alt mode surgically.

I'm working up a list of who gets what flight mod but... Ya'll should know that Wheeljack dares Knockout to make him into a flying car. Largely cause I just got the image of Wheeljack flying above vehicons and just turning into a car and dropping on them. That and driving up the side of the Nemesis and confusing the fuck out of Megatron. Out of all the characters you know that would be a Wheeljack thing.

Arcee and Knockout grieve together.

Knockout loves bugging the hell out of Ratchet. It's extra fun for him cause Ratchet often can't do shit about it since they both need the room and tools.

Knockout and Wheeljack become an insufferable duo with the nicknames they have for everyone.

Wheeljack won't leave Starscream alone and keeps coming up with worse and worse nicknames like he did with Ratchet.

Starscream and Ratchet become complaining buddies.

STARSCREAM'S SEEKER SQUAD REJOINS. Well some of them. Skywarp, Thundercracker and maybe other peeps.

Miko manages to befriend Skywarp and Bulkhead now has to watch both Miko AND Skywarp. Wheeljack refuses to help Bulkhead round them up.

Raf hits it off with Thundercracker.

Knockout: "FINALLY a team with fragging MANNERS!"

Instead of Beeftimus Prime from the forge, Optimus actually gets access to a third alt mode and.. Idk something else primely. So he actually gets wings.

Starscream and the other fliers are greatly amused because Optimus, as great as he is at his poker face most of the time, hasn't yet figured out how to not emote with the pair of wings he gets from the forge. Thundercracker is the one who eventually informs him while the rest of the crew are booing loudly in the background.

I actually do have designs of TFP Skywarp, Thundercracker, and Ironhide in the works.

Fowler and Starscream have insult battles. Oddly both grow a weird almost fondness for these verbal sparring sessions

They frequently raid the Nemesis

Miko keeps talking in a pirate voice. Smokescreen has joined her.

AND A LOT OF OTHER STUFF I'LL GET INTO WITH MORE DETAIL AND ART. I'll also talk more in depth about some of these things that isn't a ramble like this post is. xnwjskw.

Feel free to ask about anything you're curious about.

[retvenkos]

“i am a little bit of everything i’ve seen in my life.”

requested

MY HEADCANONS FOR THE HYBRID HARRY POTTER HOUSES...

gryffindor/ravenclaw

if you’re in gryffindor you think you’re more “refined” than everyone else, and if you’re in ravenclaw you think everyone’s a stiff

this is the person with the braincell! let it be known that they have it, but refuse to use it

they have to be a little chaotic because they know what consequences are but disregard them

these people call themselves ambiverts but it really just means they won’t talk to you if they hate you

and i say that lovingly

okay, but if they do talk to you??? best people to talk with - they can hold an interesting conversation masterfully and it’s all because their enthusiasm is off the charts

let them ramble, it’s very endearing.

and physical touch is probably their love language so cuddle with them, too

they’re sci-fi and superhero nerds change my mind

now their loyalty is really interesting because gryffindors are really loyal where as a ravenclaws are individualistic and prioritize #1, so i feel like they are very much on guard

befriending is hard - they’ll keep you at bay until they are sure you can be trusted. and they won’t be made to feel bad about it either.

but once you are close to them,,,,, they would save you or die trying

their inside jokes are god tier

i don’t know how they do it other than they know how to make people laugh using the most unexpected methods and because it was such a weird experience, people are able to remember really well?

like, they could say “nutmeg” and everyone around you starts laughing, meanwhile you’re just ???

gryffinclaws are also really interesting because they don’t do well with conflict, but drama sort of gravitates toward them because let’s be real here, they can kind of be actively seeking it out, sometimes.

i mean, it’s usually to avoid having to deal with deeper emotions or even bigger problems, but sometimes they have a hand in their own suffering....

also, these people never study if they don’t like the class. they don’t. if they dislike the subject, they procrastinate with every fibre of their being.

but if it’s something they love, they are the first to get it done and will 100% do extra research and talk about it all the time.

they say they love both cats and dogs equally, and they actually mean it.

they are most likely concerned with wanting to change the world in some way - but they want it to be a tangible way that still allows for creativity and freedom

this is also the friend who stays up wayyyyyyy too late, and when you ask them what they’re doing, all they can say is “memes”

and they really do love memes - send them some. it’s their primary way of communicating

they love going out to get lunch and chatting with friends

food + people = love

they’ll even do it in their room! just bring bread and a good conversation - they can stay up for hours

also,,,, creativity and courage??? these are the people who actually have the confidence to publish their writing/art/whatever, and i admire that.

but writers block hits them so hard... i’m so sorry

okay, but if i understand the meme right, i’d give them wine aunt status.

gryffindor/hufflepuff:

these bastards

but i say that lovingly!

this is your meddling friend - that person that knows all and you can’t hide a secret from them to save your life.

and they seem to know everyone?????

they could ruin your life if they wanted to, but they are sweet uwu children and would never - in fact, they’re appalled you would even suggest it.

don’t let them hang out with gryffindor slytherins, no matter what. they will be corrupted and then it’s all over.

“but why are they bastards?” you ask. well,,,, if you’re acting surly or really don’t want to do a thing™ they will use their knowledge against you, prodding you in the direction you did not want to be going

of course, they only ever use this power when it’s for your greater good, but it’s annoying and invasive enough to grant them bastard status.

10/10 the mom friend.

even has the mom stare.

you know - the whole “you’re being irrational and you’re going to do this no matter how you hate it” stare

they have the  m o s t   energy and i honestly admire that

and they’re so hard working and dedicated that motivation isn’t a problem? it’s really just trying to get a solid, coherent thought that plagues them.

someone please get them a planner - they are constantly running late, but excited to be here!

100% have cottagecore vibes, or at least naturecore or adventurecore

point is, they want to be outside, doing things

they most likely want to make change in this world, but on a smaller level - with the people they care about, or the place they live

they really want to see what this world has to offer, but they are deathly afraid of being lonely

ngl, they probably get hurt by people a lot. they’re a little too trusting and go in a little too deep and when that other person leaves it does irrevocable damage.

it’s kind of like idealism and optimism, but at what cost?

100% smother their own feelings with a pillow and then preoccupy themself with the problems of others to not deal with their own

get them someone to talk to, please. they deserve it.

most likely they are an extrovert and surround themself with people so that they won’t have to feel loss as hard

spoiler alert: loss is always crushing.

gryffinpuffs believe in people - it’s their greatest gift and worst downfall

and they cannot live without them

do they have the braincell? sometimes. most of the time they share it and forget to ask for it back.

they probably like to do tangible things - like sculpture or knitting, baking, caring for plants....

something they can hold close

and if they read, they 100% finish books in one sitting. they just binge and it’s very iconic of them

probably a romantic, idk

they want a meet cute in real life and read all of the marriage fanfics

gryffindor/slytherin:

now these are the people who smile when you call them a bastard

and are most likely to be called a bastard unlovingly

at first glance they might be a little low on the empathy scales, but if you make it into their circle they would kill, die, and resurrect themself for you

BUT! all things come with a cost.

these are your friends with shifting loyalties. they are loyal until they feel your loyalty toward them fade, and they can and will shift against you for self preservation.

and they won’t feel bad about where their loyalties lie.

but please love them because if you really do believe in them they will feel it and it will rock their whole world

and if your feelings are strong, you’ll be surprised how quickly they can turn to you for guidance

if you haven’t noticed, this group is extremely intuitive - they can just sense what everyone feels about them

all that intuition... and quite a lot of tact

maybe it’s the cunning or the self preservation in them, but they can read a room really well - only bested by the hufflepuff/slytherin - and can sway everyone to their side

you want someone to give oddly accurate motivational speeches? this is the person you’re looking for!

slytherdors.... you either love them or you hate them

but no joke these are the people that the gryffinclaws and slytherclaws are constantly fighting - and the slytherdor is ready to throw hands at any given moment, someone pLEASE send a ravenpuff (huffleclaw?) to save them

if you wanted someone to embody teenage angst, HERE YOU GO!

it’s either that or they are extremely competitive and not afraid to call someone out

if there’s a dueling club, someone please put restraints on these children

as you can imagine, these people have a lot going on, and what they really need is just some quiet stability.

they need to see this world isn’t constantly out to get them.

they absolutely love music, so listen to songs with them! they have the best spotify playlists with the most obscure vibes, and it’s very aesthetically pleasing

also! listen to them in any group setting - they make the best, dry comments under their breath

if you laugh at them they will reach into the heavens and give you the moon and the stars

they really want the ~found family~ and definitely seek it out

they crave redemption arcs

they give me baby wolf vibes - they are wild killers, but they’re at that tender age where they’re still vvv similar to a puppy, when given affection

their slytherin side has tamed the impulsivity of a gryffindor, but the level of tactician a slytherdor is varies wildly. you never know what you’re going to get, and they are actually really good at covering it up

kind of like on those alignment charts where it’s like “looks like they could kill you but is a cinnamon roll” except it’s “seems competent, but is really an idiot”

they really need an animal companion, probably a cat or tarantula

the slytherdor probably doesn’t feign to study - they either do or they don’t and if that’s bad for their mental health then they’ll fight god himself

i get a lot of vibes of zuko screaming at the sky in that lightning storm, where he’s like, “come on, strike me! you’ve never held back before!”

maybe i’ve been a little negative, but uh,,,, their love language is sitting in the dark, holding hands and talking about the lamest part of their day

also, they hate meaningless endings to tv shows - they just want to see everyone be happy or die trying

ravenclaw/hufflepuff:

you mean the adjusted ravenclaw?

maybe that was mean, but what i really mean is that they are the most emotionally intelligent of all the ravenclaws

these ravenclaws know how to use conflict resolution skills, and they are very much needed in ravenclaw tower

they’ve been coaching the gryffindor/ravenclaws, but good luck maintaining their attention if they don’t want to listen

they also have patience! that means they get along well with slytherins.

even if they’re tired, they’re a good sport about it

light academia aesthetic, or just soft vibes in general.

they are probably the only artists with a coherent schedule that they keep up on, while still remembering to stay hydrated and function like a normal human being

they lowkey crave structure - the unexpected is not for them

riddles? those have a right and wrong answer - they absolutely hate it when the gryffindor/ravenclaws or ravenclaw/slytherins give an answer that is “technically” right

they probably don’t tell anyone, though

passive-aggression? yep. i can feel them seething from here.

like, they can solve minor problems and can get over bigger ones in time, but if it’s a huge slight, they are never going to let go

and it’s super palpable when they dislike you because they are so kind to everyone else

they probably have a passion for poetry but can’t seem to write any themself

definitely still keep a book of it hidden under their bed, though

and if they are good they vehemently deny it but continue to write anyway

the biggest thing they struggle with is knowing their direction in life - who do they want to be?

abstract thinking is an art form, and these ravenclaws ponder existence in the most intangible ways you’ve ever seen

10/10 lay on the ground and stare at the ceiling for like 3 hours straight

they can vary wildly on the introvert-extrovert scale, but they are never in the middle. extremes only.

you can get close to them out with acts of service - they give so much, please just treat them ONCE

they attach themself to so many people, though. even if they’re an introvert, you’d be surprised with their connections.

they’re so level headed and yet, they can feel so lost

kind of reminds me of 50′s moms who seem perfect on the outside but have existential crises while making a roast in heels

they don’t necessarily want to be “known” - they probably feel like that definition is changing all of the time, so it would scare them to put themself in a box

i guess they’re kind of free spirits - maybe more like the aunt who does yoga with baby goats and collects crystals and pretty shells

they are great at conflict resolution, yes, but don’t expect them to be your therapist (that’s the hufflepuff/slytherin)

they have absolutely no idea when it comes to deep feelings - they barely understand their own

probably paints, tbh, or at the very least loves to go to museums w/ really abstract art.

they actually have the braincell! they keep it a lot of the time and can be stingy with it.

they either wake up really early in the morning or stay up until the sun rises because it gives them “clarity” or something.

ravenclaw/slytherin:

they’re definitely the blunt friend who will just say things as they see them

yeah, tact is lost on them

they also love to claim that they “don’t need” people, so they butt heads with the hufflepuff/slytherin and the ravenclaw/hufflepuff a lot

they have quite a bit of stratagem up their sleeve, so people can be weary of them

their attitude does nothing to solve this, but it could also be that the slytherclaw has this idea that flattery gets them nowhere

they are so divisive in their individualism,,, good luck befriending them

but if you do befriend them, you have a powerful friend in your corner.

they are 100% that distant relative that you think hates you but you aren’t sure if that’s just the way they are

but let me tell you a secret,,,, their love language is words of affirmation and if you stroke their ego they’ll grow soft

while slytherclaws may not be very persuasive on their own, they actually work really well in teams. they know everyone’s strengths are are unafraid to take charge and tell people what needs to be done and how

they’re also really good at logical thinking, so you definitely want to be lab partners with this one

and schoolwork? they do it and they take good notes. a really great student

and their ambitions and competitiveness means they are unafraid to go far, and they will do it in style, too

this is the epitome of dark academia. 

and there is very little that is chaotic when it comes to them - the slytherclaw is an excellent planner

maybe they desire more out of life - they never feel like they are quite getting what they want

they are cynical, but they they have such high hopes for this world

when they are let down, they’re not surprised but disenchanted nonetheless

they ponder the meaning of the world and what this world could be far more than they ponder their own life

they tend to see a bigger, more sweeping picture

100% they love the odyssey and definitely think it’s better than the iliad

they adore high fantasy with every fibre of their being and can really get into period dramas

i would say that a gryffindor/ravenclaw would be a good friend for them - we all know a gryffinclaw can talk, and sometimes a slytherclaw just needs to hear someone else’s take on this world

and, of course, it helps when anyone shows appreciation

okay, but they love sweets - chocolate, liquorice, peppermint, caramel... it’s one of the few childish things they allow themself to have.

they are actually relatively quick to trust? the fastest slytherin, actually

they keep their group small, but they get vibes about people and once you show them loyalty they trust you entirely.

i suppose they guess you don’t have any games because they don’t have any

ooh, but if you betray them??? they are a mess, emotionally, and will not hesitate to lash out.

but they are caring in their own way, and will do little things like reminding you to drink water or bringing you toast if you haven’t eaten and it’s very sweet

hufflepuff/slytherin:

so i know we have this idea of the slytherin sweetheart, but a slytherpuff is so much more than that

one of their strongest traits is the intersection of ambition and hard work - they will not stop until they are the best (in their mind at least)

it’s almost a petty form of competition. a bit of schadenfreude when they win.

and everyone’s immediate thought is that a hufflepuff/slytherin would be the most trusting slytherins but no.

not even close.

slytherpuffs are guarded at first, while holding a secret soft spot for you in their heart. but they won’t act on it until they are 100% sure you won’t hurt them. they are suspicious, but really want to like people.

it takes a lot to break down their walls, but when you do they already have a steady foundation for your trust to grow on, and it’s the strongest thing in this world

because of this they can often come off as cold or distant, but once you’re in their circle, oh yeah. there’s the hufflepuff qualities you were searching for.

a good contender for the mom friend position, but they aren’t overt enough to be so.

they’re not getting into your business or being slightly invasive like real mom friends, but if you need advice or a hug,,,,, this is the friend to go to.

they’re like the nice aunt. vvv comforting, but only if sought out.

oh, they have the strongest moral code i have ever seen - it cannot be shaken or swayed.

but! it can often go against the rules, so you do have a bit of chaos working beneath the surface.

i 100% believe that their love language is quality time, and most of that can be spent quietly, just sitting in the other’s presence.

i feel like 90% of their conversations is hand gestures or subtle facial expressions, so it make take a while to be able to read them, but it also means they are soooo good at reading other people

seriously, if you need a therapist in the group, this is your person. they know people so well. their intuition is off the charts.

BUT ALSO,,,, their levels of introvertedness are sky high. i feel like this is a given, but they can be in your orbit for 5 months and speak to your twice and think that is a decent amount of exposure.

please get them an extrovert. they need the exposure.

sEcReTS??? this slytherin probably has some, but you have to be like at level 50 to unlock their tragic backstory

they also have academia vibes and do really well in school work, but whether or not it’s dark academia or light academia is disputed. maybe grey academia? (is that a thing?)

they struggle with wanting to be known and yet wanting to hide parts of themself they find unattractive or unwanted

probably feel like they’re pulled in too many directions and overthink their choices just a bit too much.

everyone knows they have the braincell, but whether or not they use it is unsure

it’s so easy for their friends to coax them, they probably give it to someone else and never ask for it back even though they should be in sole custody of it

AND FLUFF ENSUES. (i realize some of these are kind of aggressive, so... vibe check!)

-- taglist: @musicallisto, @theletterhart, @locke-writes, @randomfandomimagine, @brokenandheadoverheels, @timeofmadness, @writerdream22 // message me if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

[ghostbustermelanieking]

oddly specific memories i have of listening to tma

in honor of the finale, and because i am a sentimental asshole, i bring you this potentially uninteresting and completely pointless list. i'm gonna miss this show a lot

half my original reasoning for listening to the podcast was to motivate me to walk on the treadmill. this did not work. but i did it the first time, when i was going through the trailers and anglerfish, and i remember the room where my dad keeps the treadmill is really dark and the spooky chanting sort of freaked me out

after the treadmill, i ended up listening to the bulk of the first four episodes on the couch, and halfway through i let my oldest cat, winnie, who always lived outside (i know, i was very against actually keeping her outside) in the house. and she jumped up on the couch with me, which she literally never did. (she was very grumpy and not super affectionate.) i had that cat since i was five, and she passed last june, and i really miss her. quarantine kind of gave us the opportunity to hang out with her a lot, because we were home so much. so i'm glad these memories are kind of intersected in my mind. (below: a pic i have from that day.)

my friend sarah relistened along with me the first time around, which was extraordinarily sweet of her, and also led to some interesting interactions. for example: she forgot when it was revealed that sasha was dead, so she accidentally spoiled that for me when i asked when the others would find sasha (and i spent all of season 2 just like. anxiously vibrating over this fact). she also made this post, when i was still in like early first half of season 1, and my immediate thought was "oh no martin is dead." i hadnt even MET martin at this point

back in early quarantine, my mom had this rule that we had to do something new every day (to keep away the depression... ha ha). anyways, all i wanted to do in my free time was sit around and listen to tma (and also watch this show i was into on netflix), so i came up with some lame excuses, one of which was "i'll give myself a pedicure." this led to the memory i ultimately associate with mag 56 (trevor herbert 2) being me sitting out on our roof balcony thing, giving myself a horrendous pedicure

another time, my family wanted to go play tennis, and they brought me along and brought a hammock for me to lay in. there was this excess material from the hammock, and the sun was in my eyes, so i ended up pulling it up and over me to block the sun and creating this ridiculous hammock cocoon thing. one of the episodes i listened to that day? "tucked in."

before i ever started the show, my friend sarah stayed with me while i was pet sitting. i remember when she got there, she'd just listened to 150 and was telling me how freaky it was (she was still trying to get me into the show), and she was like "of course we're staying on a CUL DE SAC." (that was also the weekend she watched us for the first time and was very upset because i slept through the whole thing, which is scary when you're staying somewhere by yourselves.) anyways, i spent the whole show waiting for the scary cul de sac episode

while i was listening to the show for the first time, my step-dad (an artist) started painting an EYE on the door downstairs near my bathroom. a fucking EYE. he didn't finish it til i had finished the show. but still weird!!

i binged like 12 episodes in one day to finish season 4, which is not impressive at all, but it's still my personal record. i just remember staying up late in my dark bedroom (til like.... 11 i'm lame and i go to bed early), listening to like 158 & 159 & 160 and just being knocked on my ass by how good it all was... i was SUPER spoiled by this point, through my own fault, and i knew exactly what was coming, but actually experiencing it was nuts

the second week i listened live was 167, where the public release was delayed by a couple hours by accident. i spent like 20 minutes refreshing spotify, thinking it was broken, before going on tumblr and seeing what the deal was. (and 167 remains one of my favorites of s5 because i remember just going "thank god it was worth the wait.")

this one car ride where sarah and i made some of our friends listen to the first three episodes of the show. it was the middle of the night and we were just like blasting down i40 listening to anglerfish and do not open etc

the night the what the ghost episode publicly dropped was the night after my graduation, and i was sleeping out on the couch in the living room so my grandfather could sleep in a bed. it was super dark, and i am a jumpy person, and i Remember being mildly disgusted with myself because the corny sound effects were actually freaking me out. (i think i mightve actually seen something weird that night, maybe, but that's another story.)

the weekend my parents moved me into college, we couldn't get the cable in the house we were staying in, and we were all sitting around doing nothing, so i jokingly suggested starting tma with them, and they were like ok grace. my step-dad promptly fell asleep and my mom zoned out -- which is probably good, she doesn't like horror and she's super claustrophobic, so it's probably better we never got to do not open

my brief roommate in college talked about how she was into those youtube channels where people just read scary stories, so of course i was like try tma out. so she listened to the first episode on her own, and we were out one night, and she started mag 02 while i went into an ice cream place. she was into it (she kept being like open it, ya pussy) and wanted to keep listening while we went home, and even back in our room. i had only been in town for a couple weeks, and barely knew my way around, but i also didn't want to turn the gps on and be interrupted every five seconds. so i tried to find our way back on my own. it took the entirety of mag 03, and into mag 04, before i did it. so now i will forever associate across the street with all those wrong turns i took in a dark, semi unfamiliar city, trying to get back to our college without a gps

the day of the early drop for 179 was the day i moved back home from college -- a five hour drive by myself. i ended up listening to it on the final stretch of the trip, when i was super tired and it was dark and i knew it'd probably be a crazy episode. just me full blasting down i40, drinking an energy drink (which i never do) through a hole punched in the top, listening to daisy's death

186 early dropped the day after initial u.s. election day (when we still didn't know anything). my mom had set up a "watch party" in the living room with these giant air mattresses, and we all sort of spent the day crowded around the TV watching the numbers. not much of a memory, but i remember sitting on that air mattress and listening to martin's monologue in the midst of that messy week

i had a virtual therapy appointment on the day of 187's early drop, and my dad was home, so i drove to an empty parking lot to do the session in some privacy. i was trying to listen to the episode before the session started, so i ended up listening to the last half sitting in my car, in the pouring rain, just staring at my radio in shock (187 remains one of my favorite s5 episodes)

my friend sarah had just come home for winter break the day 189 dropped, and we decided to listen together, just like driving around in circles drinking coffee and listening and speculating on whether or not that was really martin

i started my relisten right after thanksgiving and was just kind of blowing through fast as i could through the whole of december. i had to go back to college to empty out my dorm, and i went to the beach after, and i ended up listening to mag 11 while just like walking around in circles in the tide pools. the closer it got to christmas, the more christmassy i wanted to keep things, so i would like. listen in the mornings and turn on one of those Netflix fireplaces and get all cozy

my other friend went with me on a mini bagel road trip in december, and he was still trying to get caught up, so we listened to mag 169, 170, and 171 on the drive home. (by this point, i was accustomed enough to s5 and smiting scenes to automatically reach for the volume controls when jude perry and jared hopworth died.)

when i relistened to mag 47, i was sitting with my cat beezus. i paused the episode to write this big long meta, so i was in a different headspace when i pressed play again. jon immediately yelled for sasha and i immediately jumped, and beezus gave me a searing glare and just got up and left

i relistened to piecemeal while i was cooking, which i thought was kind of funny and also disgusting

after christmas, i got into the habit of bringing my cat georgia into my room in the mornings, and she'd crawl under the covers with me while i listened to tma

one story i've always liked to tell from my first listen is how when i first listened to the meat arm grinder episode, my dad asked me to help him cook hamburgers later that day and explained how hamburgers are ground up (to my disgust). i hit meat grinder in my relisten and um. you'll never fucking guess what i made for lunch that day

so i had all these arbitrary rules for myself when i started tma last april, and i've broken like all of them. i started listening to tma while virtually working -- you just pull it up on your computer and it works. (i got the life scared out of me when one of my coworkers started talking over the podcast, wondering who it was that had walked into jon's office and why he wasn't reacting and why i didn't remember it.) i also started listening a lot while driving, which led to several long meta posts i wrote being typed up in a parking lot somewhere

i spent the entirety of 194 anxious-cuddling georgia. (i tried to do this for 198 and then didn't have any anxiety to cuddle her over.) i fully plan on doing this for 200, where i am sure i will need it again

my favorite place to listen to tma probably ended up being the roof room at my mom's, and unless something goes awry, this is where i will listen to the finale. (with georgia, of course.)

this list is super uninteresting, like i said, but here it is. i'm gonna miss this show a lot. i can't wait to return to it, later in life, and make all new listening memories in the process

[smalltragedy]

* brigette lundy-paine, nonbinary + they/them | you know kirby wormwood, right? they’re twenty five, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, two weeks? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to ring ring by mika like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole balancing acts at perilous heights destined to entertain, jack of all trades master of none, refusal to accept the mortal world as it is thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is december 1st, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hllo welcome 2 my third character i love them a lot theyre a. remake of an older oc of mine so this is fun <3 sdfhk anyways once again i am asking u. pleathe like if u wld like to plot.

ARSON TW

mini playlist.

wizard ;; lucas lex / ring ring ;; mika / crows ;; clues / sunrise sunset ;; bright eyes / la llorona ;; beirut / no children ;; the mountain goats / might be love ;; the pesky snakes / sax in the city ;; let’s eat grandma.

statistics.

full name: kirby wormwood (currently).

nickname(s): magpie.

birthday: december 1st, 1995.

zodiac: sagittarius sun, aries moon, libra ascending.

mbti & temperament: estp & improvisor / sanguine.

label: the hellion.

hometown: abilene, texas.

sexuality: bisexual.

pinterest.

biography.

alright lets get right into it. kirby ws switched at birth. they cld’ve hd a very like. picket fence trampoline in the backyard. 4 columns cos its texas n it feels right. bt instead they were chosen <3 somewhat unintentionally <3 by dorothea n fawley wormwood, two traveling circus workers who emergency stopped in abilene.

n u know what. growing up in st. pierre’s traveling circus ws kinda fkn awesome? like ok. besides the fact tht they were homeschooled fr like evr n there were a sparing amt of children 2 socialize with? it ws p cool idk.

it ws kinda like everybody ws their parent n also not at all bc they were all very casual. bt they grew up learning hw 2 maintain the circus (n also like. normal school thingz bt i dnt think kirby hs ever cared abt school like ever) n whenever they hd a show kirby wld facepaint or handle tickets until they were old enough 2 start learning like. the Real fun things. 

fawley hd a lot of his own weird odd little like superstitions n beliefs n practically raised kirby on them like n they dnt rly <3 make a lot of sense. lots of made up philosophy. very much like. nothing defines u. u cn b anything or anyone. n kirby ws like ok cool. n then developed a god complex.

names didnt rly stick 2 kirby when they were a kid like. nothing satisfied them or felt worthy fr them or simply they just. got tired of a name. this isnt related 2 them being nonbinary BUT it did help ease some of the. pressure of exploring gender identity. theyve only hd one name tht stuck genuinely n tht ws magpie n. thts bc everybody hd their own bird name n it felt very. like community. like a role. usually the names they used during performances bt. anyways KFHDSGLKKHL

theyre Kirby bt answers 2 most. neutral nouns.

honestly. they were also a rascal as a youth. ws like. oh. i learned sleight of hand? cool. time 2 pick pockets. wld throw popcorn into the hair of other kids n b like. omggg what was that ... became a mime fr a year. it ws a rigorous training.

now a master of charades. bt anyways. they traveled pretty much weekly, maybe bimonthly n sometimes just pure monthly. there wsn’t an off season fr them, when the colder months came they’d travel south and when summer rolled in they’d go right back up again. it ws easy to switch personas almost daily n just. never reveal ur true self. totally not saying tht’s what kirby did bt thts what they did. it nvr made them lose sight of themselves it ws more like. acting. tricking ppl fr fun. 

anyways all good things come 2 an end and when kirby ws like. 18. they were like hey ur old enough that we cn trust u with fire. we think. n they started 2 learn fire-throwing n like. they were ok at it bt lessons were painfully slow n kirby ws like. i wld b so good at this if i cld do it all the time. n it ws like. hey kirby, chill. u already know a lot of things.

arson tw // u see where this is going. tents are kind of flammable. kirby ws unsupervised. bad decisions all around. circus is aflame. all the animals n all the circus workers got out fine bt like. st. pierre’s ws efficiently out of business. arson end of tw //

n kirby fkn booked it they just. ran. pure fear. nvr looked back which is like super traitorous of them 2 do bt. sometimes they meet up in secret like. sunglasses n all at a coffee shop. not all of them just like. fawley or someone else. theyre like. ur family u cld burn down a thousand circuses n we’d still love u. n kirby is like yeah i know bt i’ve rly committed to the bit now. n they dnt reunite.

anyways. since then kirby hs just been. a traveler. nvr rly staying anywhere fr super long n driving around in their shitty little van tht’d been used as housing back at st. pierre’s.

they’re in irving n theyve been there fr almost. suspiciously long. compared 2 their average stays. when asked abt what they do or why theyre there theyll just. give a vague answer or spin a long tale tht usually involves a burning circus.

theyre staying at uh. abernathy creek rn bc of course they r they fit in so naturally. welcomed with wide arms. might b soul searching rn might b on the hunt fr their birth parents might b just vibing ... whose to say ..

personality & facts.

has a Big personality tht attracts others fr better or fr worse. either super likeable or the most despicable person on the earth. no in betweens. n honestly tht is a talent in itself

has no off button is constantly. spinning tales or performing a dance or getting kicked out of bars fr whatever nonsense reason. 

honestly they prob think tht nothing bad cn ever happen to them even tho like. bad has literally happened 2 them before? love the optimism here. KLFGDLKFSDHGF

acts a bit like u’ve known them fr ur entire life they r oddly warm in tht way bt they themself r so distant tht its like. oh nice ok ...

both honest n yet dishonest like. yes they will hustle u out of ur money bt they will also tell u their opinion straight up. 

probably smart bt they r just like. prime thembo? flowy pirate shirts n cropped tshirts n pants tht r never tight. dresses like they do still work n live at a circus. 

likes 2 instigate things between others n then stand back n just watch it happen while taking like zero accountability. loves a good small town drama. avid milf hunter.

does not hv any faith in the american healthcare system at all n will straight up refuse 2 go 2 a hospital if they get hurt theyre like. i cn do it myself im like practically a professional. they r not a professional. 

bt does hv like. a thing abt apples. fkn loves them. 

uuuhhh cn play instruments bt all very badly. only knows one (1) song tht isnt made up n its wonderwall by oasis. they play it at parties. they expect fr tomatoes to b thrown at them at any given time.

very nimble. agile. granted its frm. learning circus tricks frm a baby age bt they hv impeccable balance n cn sneak up behind anyone without a single noise. uses this 2 their advantage in order 2 scare ppl. chaotic neutral.

loves having the attention on them i wont fk around here. will go to drastic measures to accomplish receiving it. my other muses r capable of taking things srsly bt kirby just. is not. they do not take a single thing srsly they barely even took. st. pierre’s destruction srsly n they caused it. maybe.

likes being able to just. be unknown so the amt tht ppl know abt them is actually very. little. i dnt think they even tell others their last name. sometimes not even their first. just hs so many aliases n nicknames. i know i didnt list any bt thts simply bc Any cld.

probably acts out to compensate fr the. underlying guilt they hv bt thts okay. i mean it isnt bt.

will probably show up if u call them fr help bt they lose interest in people p quickly n r always moving onto the next shiniest person. bt when they do they give them like. all their attention. if u wrong them in this period they will just. ignore it. bt when theyre bored then its like. u werent even friends at all? very odd.

perhaps it is commitment issues bt <3 ya. thts them. they do not claim favorite colors or movies or. most interests. probably bc theyre very very disconnected frm pop culture i think they learn everything thru twitter n google.

i wld not call them a good person bt i also dnt think theyre like evil horrible nasty awful they just. think abt themself a lot more than they think abt others n also refuses to face consequences ever and also .. anyways.

wanted plots.

part of the bird’s nest ;; honorary bird honorary circus member. u hv to be very well regarded by kirby to earn a bird name bt i feel like tht doesnt feel like a lot considering theyve only been here fr like. two weeks KDGDSHKGK. the catch is tht u cn only refer 2 them as magpie frm then forward. 

hand in unlovable hand ;; theres comfort in being terrible ppl together n it may not last bt it doesnt hv to anyways. its just them n the like. vibes. n knowing tht its smth thts nvr gna b long term. cld b anything ur character just hs to be also a little evil. KHDSGFDS

one jester ... wht abt ... TWO jesters .. ;; hoo boy. ooh man. unstoppable force and immovable object combine forces n just become. the worst of the worst. ultimate jokesters. epic pranksters. absolute clowns. chaotic energy unmatched. always nonsense. 

n also ;; ppl they’ve stolen frm, ppl who hv caught them in that act, ppl who’ve maybe seen them in the circus a very long time ago, Found Family Trope, real family shenanigans, kirby just asking everybody if theyre their dad., mortal enemies if they see each other its an instant duel 2 the death, etc.

[mrs-mikko-rantanen]

Uhm, my day was decent? I mean aside from the fact that mornings exist and I did not want to wake up in time for my shift at work. But. And the end of the day when I have literal hours to do stuff after.. it works out cuz. Usually I get off and its oh shit I have enough time to halfway emotionally recharge and then its time for bed.

But. I got in and E^2 had put like. My name down on the schedule, and. That was great really. And we had this sheet for sign up of, basically what areas you want to be personally responsible for. And I signed light and it was great. And I dont think anyone really noticed cuz the manager wasn't there and no one else really looked at the schedule or anything else. But. It made me happy.

Still haven't gotten my name tag changed and honestly I dont think I'm going to. Cuz. I feel like I'm just being a bother asking again. But. It is what it is I guess.

I got off at five and its now nine and ive just been vibing in the car listening and singing to Spotify since I got off just trying to keep the sad at bay. And I should probably go home but. I dont want to. Cuz I know I'm just gonna wallow in the sad and self destructive tendencies if i go home.. If I ask nicely will the fae take me in as one of their own and I can become a cryptid in the woods?????

I have a three day weekend coming up and im considering doing a touch up on my hair since its really washed out. But I cant decide if I wanna keep it fully red or try and do like an ombre double tone thingy.. but I'm not sure what other color I'd try to do to the tips? Idk

I kinda wish my hair was longer so I could do like. The galaxy hair thing? Where its various shades of purple and blue and some pink and it looks different depending on how you style it. But I also know attempting to grow my hair out longer than I already plan to is a bad idea, cuz the sides and back are already getting too long and I hate it. But I wish I could do fun stuff with it too

Oh well. The duality of man i guess..

Uhm. I bought a giant plastic egg the other day, that reminds me of a dragons egg kinda. And I'm trying to decide if I should keep a hoard of dice in there or a hoard of crystals. Cuz. Dice and the clacky math rocks. But. Also shiny crystally gems

Speaking of dice I also really kinda want to try and get into a dnd group, but social anxiety and I have zero idea where to start with that so. That's fun.

Im currently resisting the urge to go and get more holes and metal in my head too. I just. The red hair makes me feel cool and powerful and I wanna look punk and

Sorry I've been rambling for like half a novel. I'll stop now before I get annoying. I mean I definitely already am. But you asked for asks and distractions and 👉👈 I love you

Id ask about your day but you seem to want a distraction from that sooo. How about, got any fun headcanons to share??

Thats awesome on the name front!!! I saw that and I got really excited for you when you posted the picture this morning, honestly I think you should bring up the nametag again, esspecially if its showing up on the schedule too. (Oddly enough I kicked around the idea of using a new name with friends and sruff today which is weird mostly bc like i like my name irl, its fairly androgynous and it makes me happy and i love my online name bc it means me :))

My vote is two tone!! I almost did a pink/purple ombre with my hair this round so I say do ittttt (that's also what I say about the extra holes and metal. Do itttttrrr)

That would be a hard choice but u do really like the idea of a giant dragons egg full of dice ngl. I need to find some people to play with too. I'm trying to get b and c in on something but idk if its ever really gonna pan out the way I want it too. My town actually has a pretty active dnd community but I am way too new and way too socially anxious to ever join something like that so I feel you there.

100% not annoying, each paragraph made me smile more. :)

My day was actually mostly ok, i just sorta ruined it with Danny at home. I just pointed out that the idealized dream band life that I wanted and thought I had was what she got and that it made me kinda jealous and she pointed out (correctly) that I'm jealous of so many aspects of her life that she now has a list of things she can't talk to me about for fear of setting me into a spiral and just. Yeah. That wasnt fun.

But work was ok. The kids all were really tierd so there was a fair bit of crying going on, but the weather was really nice so we got to go outside with them for a long time and that was very nice. I also got some really sweet cuddles from a few of them that made me very happy.

Oh! I also have a funny story about them!! So I was squatting (my main position is almost like Spiderman bc I'm down on the kids' level but i can also get up and move if I need to pretty quick) and one of the girls goes and gets a book, then stands right in front of me and points at the floor and says "sit" in the most authoritative voice I have ever hear from a 1 1/2 year old 😂 as soon as I sat down she was in my lap and opening the book so I could read to her.

As far as headcanons.... Sadly my brain is bouncimg mostly art ideas for the Tamgled au and not anything of substance so I may take a crack at that later. Otherwise I keep thinking about whumped up Will crying on the floor and Maurie finding him. Really I'm just thinking about Maurie and Will being bros. A lot. So much. God I love them.

[soldierswar]

It’s Been A Long, Long Time

40s!Bucky X OC

Bucky X Reader

Fluff/Angst

Plot: Bucky Barnes falls in love with the most amazing girl he had ever met in the 1940s shortly before being deployed to war. Now, in the 21st century, he knows that he will never see her again, and isn’t sure if he will ever love, or could love ever again. But one day, he runs into you...Her complete doppelganger. 

NOTE: Can we pretend that the song ‘It’s Been A Long, Long Time’ came out earlier in the 40s than in 1945? Okay, thanks.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky

           I got the news. The inevitable.

I was to be deployed in a week.

           It wasn't a shock in any way, shape, or form to me. I knew that it was a matter of time before we had orders sent to us. It was what I signed up for.

           But to Zelda? It hit her like a tidal wave.

           When I told her, she was speechless. The only thing that she could do was sob in my arms.

I did the best I could to comfort her; to look into her hazel eyes and brush the tears away from her rosy cheeks, and tell her that everything was going to be okay. But there was nothing I could do to convince her.

           “Please don’t go,” she sobbed as she wrapped her arms around my torso tighter and tighter. She held on as though the sheer force of her grip could take it all away. To outweigh orders. To end the war.

And for a moment...I hoped that it could.

           “I’m sorry, love,” I whispered on the top of her head.

Oh God, how I would miss her. How I'd miss the sweet smell of her perfume; or how her dark chocolate-brown hair bounced when she shook her head. And I would especially miss the way her beautiful face would illuminate when she smiled. That smile alone could launch a thousand ships.  

           And despite the desperate tears and sadness written all over her face, she was still the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

           It may have been a month since I met her at the front of a Brooklyn café, but I was sure that I loved her. Part of me thought, or rather…hoped that she felt the same. Maybe it didn’t matter at this point.

           But I hoped that it did.

           “What am I going to do without you?” she asked pulling away to attempt to compose herself.

           “We can still write,” I suggested, hoping that she wouldn't suddenly get angry with me for having to leave her. And I wanted to reassure her that I still wanted her in my life.

           “You promise?” she sniffled, wiping her face.

           How could she ask me that question?

Did she not know about the absolute torture I would be feeling to not see that smile every day? To hear that laugh? Or the sound of her sweet, and kind voice?

           “So we have a week, right?” She asked putting herself together. The slight tremble in her voice indicated that she was suppressing the need to cry with all of her might.  

           “We do.”

...

We spent our last few days…the last few moments that we could possibly have together running around Brooklyn. She took me to her favorite parks; I took her to my favorite restaurants, and she showed me her favorite bookstore. When we arrived, she grabbed a whole stack and bought all of them

before I even had a chance to see what she was doing as I browsed.

At the end of that particular day, she walked into my apartment and set the books on my bed telling me that they were actually for me.

They were books that she held so dearly to her heart, and she wanted me to have my very own copies so that I would think of her as I read every page, sentence, and word.

           “Now you’ll know what to talk about when you write to me,” she stated.

I held that stack of books and told her that I couldn't wait to finish the whole stack. I would never forget the excitement that her smile held.

It was as though me reading those books while I was away was the equivalent to me taking a piece of her heart along with me. And in the best way possible, I was sure that I was.  

           On our last evening together she invited me to her place. It was a small, but beautiful space.  

The walls were plain white, but to our right, there was an intricately decorated with a wall designated for artwork. Another wall was for her large bookshelf filled with a vast collection of books, and the other wall that wasn’t designated for her bed was where a record player stood next to an open chest filled with records. She always spoke about how much she loved music. When she decided to move into her place, her father passed on his collection to her.

           She walked over to the record player and set the needle down to start the music. She then pulled me close to her so that we could dance.

           “You have to dance with me to at least this song,” she ordered softly.

           I unreservedly obliged.

           We swayed, and held each other close listening to the lyrics that resonated so deeply between us.

           ‘Kiss me once, and kiss me twice, and kiss me once again; it’s been a long, long time.’

           It was a beautiful song. One that I would play over and over again in my head thinking about this particular moment on our last evening together.

           We spent more time talking with the music in the background and then would sporadically get back up to dance once again. Before we knew it, it was already one o’clock in the morning.

"Zelda, doll," I said with her head resting upon my chest.

           “I think it’s time for me to go.”

She pulled away, and her face dropped faster than I had ever seen before. She carried pure fear in her eyes, and tears began to form rapidly.  

           “No,” she croaked.  

           “I know, love.”

She paused as though she were pondering something.

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

Her eyes expressed her plea more than her voice did.

           “Zelda, I don’t know—”

"No, I don't mean...I didn't mean," she stuttered.

"I mean, I want to just...Not until you come back to me."  

It wasn't.

I looked down into her big, teary eyes wondering how it was possible to say no.

I pulled her closer to me and kissed her tenderly.

           “Okay,” I whispered against her soft, pink lips.

We went under the covers and wrapped our arms around each other. We were nothing but content laying silently under the blankets in a cocoon of body heat.

We were content with the calming sound of our symbiotic breaths. Content with the occasional soft kisses exchanged. Content with the new, but certain exchanges of the words ‘I love you’.

There was no denying what we felt about each other.

           Before she faded away into a deep sleep, I whispered once again,

"Zelda. I love you."  

           And before she fell asleep she drowsily replied,

           “I know.”

           I would never forget that day.

You (Modern time).

You walked out of your favorite bookstore with a bag full of new books.

           You really did feel some mild form of shame about the fact that you spent so much money that you didn’t really have on books. Especially on books that you had already read a million times, and could easily just get from the library for free.

But you could never deny that something was gratifying about owning it yourself.

You loved books; and when you meticulously set them on your bookshelf, they stood proudly like golden trophies. That, and you just loved that extra kick of dopamine your brain released whenever you added to your collection. You were basically a shopaholic for books…And music…And movies. Mostly books and movies.

           As you walked down the streets of Brooklyn, you accidentally ran face-first into someone. Something that you guessed was pretty inevitable considering the fact that you were too busy looking down at your phone trying to find the next song to play on Spotify. (Oops).

He was tall, and since his torso was hard as a rock, you could tell that he was very muscular before even cautiously looking up at him.  

You weren't sure what kind of reaction you were expecting. Maybe a, "Watch where you're going, bitch." Or a, "Fuck off." But what you weren't expecting was this down at you in an odd manner. Looking was actually a bit of an understatement. He was glaring.

"I'm sorry, I—" You attempted not to stutter, or look too intimidated.

This guy looked really tough. He was tall and had broad shoulders, had a light beard going on, and his hair was long enough to cover his ears. But he had these piercing blue eyes. Kind eyes.

Frankly, if it weren't for those eyes, you would be afraid that if you angered him enough, he would probably beat you up with a thumb.

But he wasn't angry. (Thank God.) He just seemed…Shocked? Like he was looking at a ghost.

You decided to reason that this guy was probably just hard to read, and he just thought you were some clumsy asshole.

           “Zelda?” He asked. (Definitely recognition. But in a crazy person way.)

           ‘Who the hell is Zelda?�� you thought to yourself.

           And why did he think that Zelda was your name?

           "I…Who?" You stuttered, still not knowing that to think about this him.

           “I’m sorry, I just…You look a lot like,”

           “Zelda?” You interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

           “I mean, I have no idea who she is, but she’s definitely not me.”

           You tried your best not to sound like a bitch. You tended to come off that way to new ones.

            "You must have me mistaken for someone else, my name's Y/N," you said, outstretching your hand to shake his.

He looked not quite convinced that you were telling the truth. (Like at all.)

           You were starting to wonder if you had a twin that you were separated from at birth. Now your main concern was to have a stern talking-to with your parents.

           Despite the impromptu interaction, you didn’t feel weird about it. Well, you felt weird about it, but not about him anymore. In fact, you felt oddly calm around this weirdo.  

Maybe it was because he wasn’t looking at you like a creep, or like some fuckboy using that line as an excuse to get you into bed within the next two hours. His eyes expressed

shock, and awe all at the same time.

           Honestly, you kind of felt bad that you weren’t Zelda. Zelda was a pretty cool, old, and elegant name if you could say so yourself. It made you think about Zelda Fitzgerald, the oh so troubled wife of F. Scott Fitzgerald.

"I'm sorry that I'm not her," you said sincerely still staring into those striking eyes that belonged to a man that looked nothing but broken.

                       “No, I mean it’s nowhere near your fault,” he replied.

           “I’m sorry to bother you, uh, Y/N you said it was?”

You nodded.

           “Yeah.”

           “Well, I’ll let you get on with your day,” he said quickly.

When you both made your way in opposite directions, you realized that you didn't even get his name?  

Did it matter? Why did you suddenly want to know?

Wow, Y/N nice going.

When you turned around, he was already gone.  

You guessed that you would probably never know.  

…

           Okay, you had to know.

You could not stop thinking about him for whatever reason. Why could you not stop thinking about him?  

           You decided eventually to get proactive about it.

But you realized that it would be a little trickier than you would have liked it to be. It wasn't as though you crossed paths with him on some internet dating website and you could just look him up by name, or photo.  

You rationalized that if he was around that area that one time, maybe you’d cross paths with him again if you just lingered around there at approximately the same time. He hardly seemed lost, so maybe he was familiar with the area. Well…From what you could gather. (You were too busy looking at your phone to truly notice those types of details.) Fortunately, your plan worked in your favor because you were off work by that time.

           So, you spent a few afternoons hanging out in that one little area of Brooklyn. It wasn’t as though you hadn’t spent a lot of time there. You loved it. It hardly felt as though you changed anything with your routine. But because you were on the hunt, you just had to keep your eyes peeled for that someone.  

           There was a café down the street, a bookstore, a record store, and a beautiful live-show theatre. You spent countless hours and days in that little oasis not too far from your loft apartment.

           On the third day, you finally spotted him. He sat alone in the outdoor dining area of that little café reading a book.

You walked up to the short gate that separated the café from the sidewalk right next to where he was.  

           “Well, well, well if it isn’t—”

You paused. You forgot that you didn't even get his name.  

           He jolted and turned to you. That same heart-melting look in his eyes came back the second he looked at you; accompanied with a warm smile. If you didn’t know better, you could have sworn that he might have been happy to see you.

           “You like this place?” you asked.

           “It’s been one of my favorites for a long time,” he replied warmly.

He then nonchalantly invited you to sit on the chair across from him. So, you stepped over the gate and sat yourself down.

           He set his book down on the table.

           'The Sound and the Fury'.

           “That’s a good one,” you pointed out.

"I bought it yesterday. I'm almost halfway through it. A friend of mine suggested it."

           You saw the way his face changed with that fondness in his eyes.

           “Zelda?” you inquired.  

You really wanted to smack yourself on the forehead for just blurting her name out like that. Who were you to presume the intimate parts of his life?

           But he stayed calm. Not only that, but his lips started to curl into a little smile.

           “So, who is this girl?” you asked.

You were pretty sure that you had legitimately proven yourself to be an idiot.  

           He raised an eyebrow.

"I mean if she looks so much like me to the point where you almost didn't believe I wasn't her, the least I could do is…Well…I don't know."  

           He looked somewhat amused. And you were pretty sure that he was just about as confused about your ramblings as you were.

           “I’m sorry,” you apologized no longer wanting to smack yourself but to hide your face in your hands.

"I'm overstepping. I'm totally overstepping, aren't I? I mean, you can just tell me to fuck off any time now."  

           He chuckled and shook his head.  

           Gosh, why did he have such an amazing smile?

           “No, it’s fine,” he replied.

You hoped that he meant it and wasn’t just trying to be nice. But, you had to admit that there was something genuine in the way he looked at you.  

You ended up sitting at that table talking for at the very least two hours.

You were surprised at how comfortable you were with him considering the fact that you were strangers. But he just made it so easy. You already felt as though you could call each other friends.

Even so, he wasn’t exactly what one called an open book. You could tell that there a lot that he was holding back. Granted, he had only met you not that long ago. Who were you to think that he was going to spill all of his deepest, darkest secrets in one afternoon?

He got around to asking you about your interests; what you liked to do when you wandered about the city, what kind of books you enjoyed reading, movies you loved watching, or any type of music you liked. And he listened as though he were soaking up every single word.

When you asked him about what he liked, you learned that a lot of his artistic tastes were very vintage. Honestly, you didn't expect that from the muscular, leather jacket wielding guy that wore one leather glove. But who were you to judge a book by its cover?

He seemed like a bit of a lonely guy. Like a guy who didn't normally seek company. Yet, he didn’t seem to mind spending time with you; a complete stranger. In fact, you were almost certain that he enjoyed your company just as much as you enjoyed his.

“So…” you asked nervously.  

“Zelda.”

“Zelda,” he repeated.

He no longer seemed too reserved to talk about her. He seemed to want to talk about her.

“She was a lot like you,” he replied.

"Well apparently I look like her," you pointed out.

“I mean, sure. You look exactly like her. You’re this eerie spitting image of her. But it’s not just your looks,” he stated.  

“You talk like her. Your smiles are identical, and she carried the same enthusiasm about things that she was excited about when talking about the same interests that had had just spoken about.”

Something you learned early into the two hours that you had spent together. The more he opened up, the more you were curious you were. The more answers you got, the more questions it would leave you with.

“You miss her, don’t you?”

He nodded and smiled, but his eyes carried all of the pain and sadness that he felt thinking about her.  

“She was a very special person.”

You both paused, taking in his statement.

“Once again, disclaimer,” you said, breaking the silence.

“You can at any time tell me to fuck off if you get annoyed with me and my ramblings, but I have to ask."  

He laughed, and then cleared his throat.

“You seem like you still really love this girl, right?”

He stared at you, waiting for you to finish your point.

"Well, if you feel so strongly about her, have you considered trying to find her? Maybe reconnecting?"

He shook his head.

“I did actually,” he replied and proceeded to take a long sip out of his third cup of coffee.

“The thing is, we weren’t separated because we wanted to. It couldn’t be any more opposite than that. There were just…There were just complicated circumstances that came up where we had to be apart for a while. Because of it, we eventually lost touch.”

He paused, and you didn’t push for much more.

You could see the torment in his eyes growing and taking over. You wondered if just sitting in front of him made it worse.

"I looked for her."

His eyes were then concentrated on the table as he continued his story.

“I even found her. She um…she got married. Had a couple of kids, lived a good life it seemed.”

He seemed as though he were genuinely happy for her. Happy with a simultaneous feeling of melancholy.

"But unfortunately, she died a couple of years ago."

You suddenly regretted ever bringing her up. How could you? How could you make him have to relive something like that? You were such an idiot.

“It’s okay,” he told you, placing his hand atop yours.

“Wow,” you sniffled.

“Here you are comforting me. How pathetic.”

“No need to feel sorry,” he told you while brushing his thumb against your hand.

The feeling of his warm hand on yours gave you a sense of calm that you had never felt before from a simple touch. And it was from someone that you had only gotten to know for a few hours.

"You know, Zelda and I met here." He pointed to the corner to your left.

“Right there.”

You smiled as though the memory were your own. You wondered what they talked about. If he approached her, or if it was vice versa the same way that you did.

Was it love at first sight? Or was it something that grew and flourished through time before everything turned to crap?

"Sir, Ma'am?" said the waitress.

You jumped, not even realizing that she was there.

“Sorry to break this up, but we’re actually about to close.”

She was so sweet and seemed genuinely apologetic.

“Oh my gosh,” I gasped looking down at my watch.

“I had no idea.”

Bucky left cash on the table for her, which was certainly more than the coffee would cost. And he told her to keep the rest.

When you both got up, you made your way to the doorway.

“Y/N?” he asked.

Your heart skipped a beat. What was he going to ask? What was he going to say?

“I-um…” he stuttered.

“Can I see you again?”

Okay, your heart skipping a beat morphed into full-on butterflies.

You let out a nervous exhale and gave him a big smile.

“I’d love to.”

Epilogue

           One year you had been together. One year. And you could honestly say that through the ups, and downs it had to be the best year of your life.

As you grew closer, and as time went on, you both learned a lot about each other. He may have opened up little by little, but eventually, you got to know all of him.

Stories that he had told you when you were in the early stages of your relationship unfolded into scrolls upon scrolls of information to unpack behind one little story he told you. For example; Zelda was dead because their relationship was in the 1940s, and they were separated because he went to war.  

It took a while to get to that point though. For him, it was the scariest thing in the world for him to tell you about his dark past. He thought that as soon as he unfolded the truth before you, you would run away in terror. But by that point, you had seen his heart. You knew who he was, and the person that you met was all that you cared about.

A lot of insecurity wasn't all about him and his past. You had had your fears about the relationship as well.

There were moments where you went into a panic because of his past with his previous love. You feared that he was in love with you because he was still in love with her. The only thing that brought you two together was because for whatever reason in ways you would never understand, you were the spitting image of her. You were quite literally her doppelgänger. (You even did a DNA test to see if she was anywhere in your genealogical history. The answer? Niet.)  

But eventually, Bucky made it clear that that was only the thing that initially brought you two together.  

"That day at the café," he once said while holding you after you fell into a complete frenzy.  

           “That day I began falling in love with you. No one else.”

           No one else.

He never even spoke about her anymore. And he showed all of the love in the world that any human could show another to you.  Your love for one-another was undeniably solid, no matter what.  

           “Y/N?” Bucky asked as he held you in his arms under the warm sheets.

           You pulled yourself up higher to bring your face closer to his exposing your bare chest.

(Not that he was complaining.)  

           “You know I love you, right?”

You nodded and planted a soft kiss along his jawline. Something you knew sent shivers down his spine.  

He brought his cool, metal hand to your chin and raising it slightly so that you were staring deep into his beautiful eyes.  

           “Marry me,” he whispered.

           Before you could even fully process the words that came out of his mouth, you responded with an immediate,

           “Yes.”

           …

           That night, you spent the eve together in that one small part of Brooklyn where you had first met. It was summer once again.

           As you walked around, you could hear music in the distance.

           “Let’s check it out,” you urged.

Because his hand was tightly attached to yours, he had no real choice but to follow.

           As you approached the area, you saw many couples holding each other closely, swaying to an old song on the cobblestone. A song that was most definitely from his era.

You brought him over to where the like illuminated over all of the couples and wrapped your arms around his neck. He followed by setting his hands on your waist and began to softly sway you side to side.  

All you heard in the background was the music in the background like white noise as he stared at you like that first time. In awe.

" Kiss me once, and kiss me twice, and kiss me once again," you sang along in whispers.

And he did.

           He kissed you once. Kissed you twice, and kissed you once again for a long, long time.

[parkkrys]

Kidge #28: Celebrity/Fan Au

This was requested by @jood-89

I am sorry for the very late request, but I finally got it done! Also I am not a normal human being that knows how to meet celebrities since I have never done so or desired to do so. I also have never gone to any comic cons or any meet ups with huge crowds since I am a antisocial person, so I hoped I did alright. Sorry for any grammar errors!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first time Pidge has ever heard of Keith Kogane was from her brother Matthew. Or more like she was yelling at her brother to turn down his rock music because she had a headache that night. It wasn’t until after her headache that she went up to him with an odd look. “Why were you listening to rock anyway? I thought you hated it?”

“I do actually.” Matt had admitted as he shrugged. “But Shiro has me listening to this new rock person and I actually like his music. He’s not to bad, plus his music has a wicked beat that helps me work faster.”

“Right okay.” She had replied, nodding slowly as she stifled a laugh while her brother rolled his eyes.

“It doesn’t matter anyway. You will never understand.”

That time she did laugh as her brother huffed, crossing his arms as if he was an eight year old child instead of a genius that is going to the top school in the state. “Do you even know what he looks like then?” She managed to wheeze out, laughing harder when Matt sputtered before whipping out his phone.

“Of course I do. He’s short with black hair, a normal human being with wicked skills.” Matt grumbled before he chucked his phone at her. “There. Now you know what he looks like too.”

It was a good thing that her brother was the only one around as she flailed her arms around, catching the phone with a glare directed at her brother as she brought the phone up to her face. Then proceeded to die right there on the spot. A normal human being her brother said. Yes, a normal human being that was far too attractive for their own good.

“He’s alright I suppose.” She mumbled, chucking the phone at Matt’s head as he cackled. “A normal human being.”

Matt wheezed as he fell back onto the bed, yelping when she chucked the nearest object at him. She hummed in satisfaction while walking out of the room, snickering when she heard her brother call out. “That was uncalled for!”

“Of course it was. Throwing random objects at your sibling is in the job description!” She yelled out, ignoring their father’s bewildered looks.

“Do I even want to know?” Sam asked before he shook his head. “Nevermind, as long as you two are not murdering each other it’s all good.”

She really had to wonder how all of this started. Matt had teased her all about that one moment in time where she blushed like a school girl over Keith Kogane’s picture. Which she just shrugged off because hey, she had eyes of course he was attractive.

But then it got worse. She was scrolling through YouTube, bored and looking for new music. Matt always scoffed, telling her to switch to Spotify which is what all the cool kids are doing but she wasn’t willing to pay the monthly fee, even if it was cheap. She saw one of his music videos and sighed.

She supposed it wouldn’t hurt as she clicked onto the video. That was her major downfall.

Next thing she knew, she had downloaded all his songs, pulled up videos all about him and started reading about his life. In a way she was obsessed but not to the point where she had posters up on her wall. Matt would never let her life that down and she wasn’t ready to give him blackmail for the future.

Now her brother was laying on her bed, grinning at her wickedly. “Guess what Katie.”

She gave a huge sigh, contemplating if she really could get away with his murder before she glared at him. “What?”

“Keith Kogane is giving a performance here in the next few months.”

“Cool.”

Matt sat up bewildered. “Cool?”

“Yes cool.” She said as she turned back to the book she was reading. If he was expecting her to squeal in delight he had a whole other thing coming. She does not squeal. “Where exactly?”

“Oh so you are interested.”

“Shut up and tell me where.” She huffed out and Matt laughed.

“Look it up. Now if you will excuse me, I have exams to study for.”

She couldn’t help the groan that escaped from her without her permission as Matt once again laughed at her. Which was becoming a common occurrence much to her annoyance. Even if she wanted to go she couldn’t, she had far to much to do. Or did she?

Maybe she could just go to one show and see what he is truly like up close. Then maybe she will get out of this odd funk that she found herself in. It really was simple, all she had to do was show up, see that he is an asshole like all the others and get turned off and find something else to focus on that was much more useful to her life.

Oddly enough, she had that gut feeling that it was only going to get worse.

[a-patheticapathetic]

Rishloo - Feathergun: Review

New year, new me. Let’s repeat that until it becomes true. 

There seems to be a pattern with how I discover music. At a very young age, I hear a song in a very specific circumstance. It has a big impact on me, but I make absolutely zero effort to check out any of the artist’s other music and instead meander onto another earworm. Then, years later, I have another chance meeting with the same song/album/artist and fall completely down a rabbithole that foundationally changes my taste in music. It happened with Radiohead (High and Dry as one of the default songs in the original Rocksmith), Queens of the Stone Age (Lost Art of Keeping a Secret in a stick figure animation), and Nine Inch Nails (Hurt (Quiet) on Spotify radio). Then, there was this strange song called “Scissorlips” that I saw on a very small Rock Band 3 drum channel. I showed it to my brother because of how fun the chart looked, and made the mistake of watching his reaction to the video. His disinterest embarrassed me enough that I never chased the music. That is, of course, until many years later, when I was introduced to Tool. The rest is history, and is frankly stalling me from starting the actual review. Let’s get to it.

Scissorlips - 8/10

The strange, dark jungle the album begins with is a nice representation of the album cover, although it won’t rule over the entire runtime. Don’t let the de-tuned guitar under the vocals deter you; the rest of the guitarwork here is beautiful. As we reach the pre-chorus, the percussionists may hear why I was interested in this song as a kid. This is also where the sonic background really opens up, swallowing you for a moment before the intro verse comes back. The lyricism here is also very abstract, yet isn’t impossible to follow. A couple of metallic bites taken out of the mostly psychedelic walls of guitars, then, the first of many beautiful delay effects. The build-up got me pretty good when I heard this so many years ago, and It’s still damn good. For the love. There are so many guitar lines here that just intertwine and enlace you. Then, something a bit heavier (yet oddly hopeful) to round the song out.

Turning Sheep into Goats - 7/10

This intro is more of what can be expected for the rest of the album, sonically speaking. A lone guitar with delay playing a complicated and alluring line in a strange time signature, then built upon. The path you may assume this song will follow is extremely suddenly changed at the chorus, the vocals really driving it home. Then, back into that nice opening riff like nothing happened. The next time that chorus comes thundering around, listen to that low guitar and the way it combines with the drums. Then drop out the ugliness into a floating mesh of palm mutes and synthetic strings. And don’t miss the fl

Systematomatic - 7/10

awless transition into the next song. Immediately, a new riff rises from the pond of reverb. You may not identify it immediately, but don’t worry, you’ll get more chances to. Very fast guitar-work that somehow doesn't sound so frantic, although the chorus definitely has a certain desperation to it. The mood gets heavy again, before quickly sliding into a strange, feverish haze. Some hits of percussion, then a recontexutalized and slower return to the riff at the start of the song. Weave us back into war.

River of Glass - 8/10

Now this is an ear-catching introduction. What seems to be a calm wave of delay is punctuated by war drums and a grimier lead. The mood builds, then crescendos into the song proper. The chorus is hear damn near immediately, and is extremely catchy for prog. This album is really just full of extremely memorable vocals, and the instrumentals complement them perfectly. We get two goes-around before we fall into these twisting and sliding strings. The drummer is also on his A-game here. Then, the guitars push into the clouds before coming back down with another short but heavy low. Then it all cuts out for a second, juts to make the burst into the final chorus that much more effective.

Keyhole in the Sky - 7/10

This one is simpler, but also very filling and peaceful. Unfortunately it does begin to showcase my only problem with this album; the vocals are mixed too loud at times. And while the singer is absolutely incredible, sometimes I’d like the instrumentals to breathe a bit more. The walls of high guitar come back around, this time feeling much more friendly and familiar. One last chorus, closing on a quiet note. Though it’s not over; an alien feedback loop and somber, echoey horn passage lead us into the next track

Downhill - 10/10

This song has two main phases, and is absolutely perfect throughout. An easy start; a relatively simple and serene riff fed through a pleasant delay pedal, with some subtle synth and bass backing. The vocals shine through, as clear as ever. And wave, goodbye. Then, like stepping through a portal into phase one. A very interesting, rhythmic and almost bluesy instrumental accompanies the title-drop. Then, we fall for miles down a well of piano. The bottom greets us with a moonlit key solo, then an incredible Floydian guitar solo. Hanging on the last note, phase two begins with an ominous drone and repeating guitar line. The drums rise, give a false start. then... perfection. I cannot do phase two justice with words. Just close your eyes, listen, and be swept away in what I believe to be one of the greatest vocal performances of all time.

Lost.

Feathergun in the Garden of the Sun - 9/10

Not to be outdone by the previous masterpiece, the title track opens with another wonderful soundscape, before the distortion comes in. The drums pick up the tension, bringing us into the pre-chorus. That riff is going to be impossible to tap your foot to at first, but the next ones should be easier. And here we have perhaps the best chorus on the record; extremely powerful in writing and execution on the parts of every band member. The second time around is just as good as the first, then the brdige begins. Ready, aim... The heaviest riff on the album, and an abrupt switch into the last chorus. Fade out.

Dreamcatcher - 7/10

A nice break from the intensity. This feels like a peaceful tidepool on an alien world, with creatures and colors beyond the world floating around my head. Short but sweet.

Diamond Eyes - 6/10

By no means bad, I do feel like this one may be the weakest track on the album. While it’s certainly beautiful, I feel like it doesn’t do a whole lot that’s new or interesting. Also, when listening at high volume (which is the proper way to listen to this album), the faults in the mixing really rear their ugly heads during the choruses. Still, there are some very pleasant rolling delay loops here during the bridge, and a nice and satisfying buildup towards the end.

Katsushika - 7/10

While the guitar opening this track may be the most straight-forward and least effects-driven riff we’ve heard so far, this song will eventually become the most alien one of the entire lineup. In a good way, of course. I can barely even decipher exactly what’s going on in the instrumentation during that build. The chorus also ends with a nice drop-off into the next verse. You may be noticing a pattern with the songwriting, where the chorus usually leads into the second verse, following the pattern of the first one but with more layering. I like it; it gives the ideas present more time to mature and develop. Anyways, here comes the bridge, where everything changes. Out of everything going on here, I feel like the drums and the background vocals are the most striking thing about this outro. What a fantastic progression and dropout. Beautiful monsters.

Weevil Bride - 8/10

The finale. This riff here is extremely well-done. The tone here is somehow piercingly bright and concerningly dark at the same time. The lyricals themes of the album also come to a head here. This chorus is another incredibly written and performed beast; just wait until it’s modulated. The second verse lays away with the subtleties and strikes at the head. And I just need to know that everything is fine, and everyone’s alright. This bridge also kicks ass, with its heart-pouding combination of guitars and toms. Then, comes the heaviest part of the entire album: Yes, please. Then we are snapped out of the masochism and lifted back to hear the main point of the album, before the intro riff carries us into an uncertain but complete conclusion. After the “true” song ends, there is a long passage of somber horns and a tranquil, almost lullaby-esque keyboard. There’s something extremely nostalgic about this outro to me, but I still can’t put my finger on where it comes from. This section almost feels like the music they play after the end of a play, as the lights come on and you make your way down the dimly-lit theater steps on slightly numb and shaky legs. The story is over; this is your time to reflect.

The main reason I wanted to write about this album in particular is because I feel like it hasn’t gotten the attention it’s deserved. It truly feels like a masterpiece worthy of widespread recognition and praise, but despite being released over a decade ago, few people have even heard of this band. It feels like injustice, not only for Rishloo’s efforts, but for the people who would connect with this album as much as I have. Also, there’s the slightly selfish hope that increased attention would incentivize the band to work on more new stuff, or better yet, remaster their older works.

In any case, It’s very late, my back hurts because my spine hates my nervous system, and I need to actually get to sleep tonight so I can heal the godforsaken nerve that wedged itself in my inner workings yesterday. On a scale from “Your all-time low just lowered again”, to “Want some? Yes, please”, I give Feathergun a “Oh, what beautiful monsters”.

[honeyopinion]

20/20 Albums of the Year

Circles by Mac Miller  |  Hip-Hop, Soul, Funk Released: January 17, 2020

Best Album For... Pouring One Out for Mac

I wrote a few different drafts of this album summary, and none of them felt like they really fit the impossibly large bill of accurately describing the posthumous importance or brilliance of this album. If you are a fan of hip-hop or soul music of any kind, try to give this piece of work a chance. I for one, used to judge Mac based on his early frat rap days in the late 2000s. But a decade later he came to leave the world with one of the most surprising and frankly impressive artistic evolutions that I’ve been able to witness in real time. RIP Mac. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Circles” or “Everybody”

Marigold by Pinegrove  |  Alternative Country and Folk Rock Released: January 17, 2020

Best Album For… Passing Through a Small Town on a Cloudy Winter Day 

Pinegrove was one of the last great concerts I got to experience before the pandemic. And it was my favorite performance of theirs from the last 6 years of seeing them play live. Is this my favorite album of theirs? Honestly, it’s not. But I still find it extremely enjoyable, and the memory of seeing these songs performed live, along with some of their classics, was enough for me to include it on this list. This is an album that marks Pinegrove’s exit from their pop punk roots. It’s still sentimental, but much more country and folk rock focused vs. anything trying to be associated with emo or punk. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora   Start With: “The Alarmist” or “No Drugs”

Watch This Liquid Pour Itself by Okay Kaya  |  Synth Pop, Art Rock, Folk Released: January 24, 2020

Best Album For… Crywanking at 3am, Bathed in The Dull Light of Your Overheating Laptop

What if Feist and Father John Misty had a secret love child? They might sound something like Okay Kaya. Self proclaimed “Singer ~ Crywanker,” Okay Kaya brings serious BDE to weirdo art pop that she seems like she could be a plant  from the mind of Nathan Fielder. Kaya delivers with such deadpan precision as she rolls out line after line of sarcastic joy, staring blankly at our dystopian reality. “Here I am, the whole world is my daddy,” “Netflix and yeast infection,” “Sex with me is mediocre,” “I just want us to do well like Jon Bon Jovi’s Rosê,” and, “My parasite and I are blushing / In the zero interaction ramen bar,” are just a few examples of some of her memorable and biting lyrics. The entire album is both a critique and nihilistic fondness for the absurdity of our lonely technological society, not quite sure how to deal with taboos like repressed female sexuality, depression, and codependency. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Baby Little Tween” or “Asexual Wellbeing”

UNLOCKED by Denzel Curry and Kenny Beats  |  Hip-Hop Released: February 7, 2020

Best Album For... Nodding Your Damn Head To, Feeling Cooler Than You Actually Are

I had to double check that this was an album. Clocking in under 20 minutes, this collection of songs feels more like an EP, especially with the track titles that purposefully look like file names and placeholders. But for a short album, Denzel wastes no time, furiously zigging and zagging effortlessly over Kenny Beats’ 90s New York-indebted production (ad libs and all). Kenny pulls out samples of an array of pop culture references made by Denzel (like quotes from movies and weapon sound effects like a lightsaber) — as he rotates his flow between admirable impressions of DMX, Nas, and Joey Bada$$.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “So.Incredible.pkg” or “DIET_”

Cardboard City by Zack Villere  |  Pop, Electronic, R&B Released: February 14, 2020

Best Album For… Pal-ing Around With Your Friends From High School, Maybe Quoting Superbad At The Same Time

The first time I watched a music video from Zack Villere, I noticed the top comment said: “how did frank ocean get trapped in mark zuckerberg.” And while that definitely gets at the heart of how Zack Villere presents himself, he is not a phenomenal singer like Frank Ocean is, nor does he come off as an asshole like Mark Zuckerberg does. I would say that he is just a slightly awkward nerdy white guy who loves hip-hop production and R&B melodies. So the better question is really, “how did drake get trapped in michael cera?” This premise should not work at all, but somehow it does. This is only Villere’s second album, but he shows some serious production and songwriting chops, plus a commitment to his delivery that comes across as genuine, charming, and unique. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Grateful” or “Superhero Strength”

The Slow Rush by Tame Impala  |  Psych Rock, Synth Pop, Disco Released: February 14, 2020

Best Album For... Throwing a Silent Disco For One 

Tame Impala continues on their now 10 year streak of psych rock dominance. Along the way we’ve seen Kevin Parker master and stretch the boundaries of psychedelic production. This has resulted in his music coming as close to sounding like the best aspects of The Beatles, while also expanding into hip hop drums, R&B hooks, plus more and more electronic elements. This is an album that I was not super impressed with when it initially came out, but as we entered the pandemic and were tasked with finding small joys in staying at home all the time, I found myself going back to this album and appreciating the themes of solitude and self reflection that Parker has drawn from throughout his career.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Posthumous Forgiveness” or “One More Hour”

1988 by Knxwledge  |  Hip-Hop Released: March 27, 2020

Best Album For... Pumping Your Brakes and Driving Slow, Uh *Homie* Although this album is named after a year in the 80s, the sound here is a perfect portal back to 90s golden era hip-hop, with all the gospel, soul samples, and the kind of deep bass you want to feel in your chest. This is the rare, largely instrumental hip-hop album that I find myself going back to, other than works from the legendary J Dilla and MF Doom. Knxwledge is good friends and a frequent collaborator with Anderson .Paak (in the form of NxWorries). Here we get Anderson to grace us with his presence on the track “itkanbe[sonice]”, and of course it sounds just like an authentic vintage soul sample. When I hear this collection of songs it makes me wish I still had a car, so I could inevitably damage my speakers listening to this.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “dont be afraid” or “thats allwekando.”

Future Nostalgia by Dua Lipa  |  Pop, R&B, Funk, Disco Released: March 27, 2020 Best Album For... Alarming Your Pet With Your Enthusiastic Lip Syncing

This album is a pure sugar rush. Like Bruno Mars with the help of Mark Ronson, or Calvin Harris a few years ago, Dua has harnessed a nostalgia (it’s even in the title, wink) for disco, funk and R&B, and is instantly a sexy, catchy, not-so-guilty pleasure. It’s sad that the majority of these songs are all bonafide club hits that didn’t have a proper home this year … except for my living room. And hopefully yours.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Pretty Please” or “Future Nostalgia”

Hold Space For Me by Orion Sun  |  Alternative R&B and Hip-Hop Released: March 27, 2020

Best Album For... Wishing Frank Ocean Was Your Dad

“Alternative R&B” is a contentious term, but what else would you call one of a few R&B singers cool enough to make it onto (NYC indie darlings) Mom+Pop Records?? On one hand, she brings the vulnerable and introverted lyrics of an indie singer songwriter like Tracey Chapman, crossed with the raw presence and sweet melodic delivery of a true R&B star like Aaliyah. I’d even go far enough to refer to her as the musical stepchild of Frank Ocean and SZA.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora

Start With: “Ne Me Quitte Pass (Don’t Leave Me)” or “Lightning”

You and Your Friends by Peach Pit  |  Indie Rock and Dream Pop Released: April 3, 2020

Best Album For... Going Back To Your College Town To Crash A Party

Peach Pit seem like they would be cool dudes to hang out with. You have no problem picturing them as the band playing a house show in an indie movie about college kids. And that’s because there’s a familiarity to the scenes that their songs portray, of stumbling through your 20s, either being too dumb or having too much fun to notice. It’s funny to refer to this as “Indie” rock since this is Peach Pit’s major label debut with Columbia Records. But It has all the trappings of Indie; sticky melodies, gentle reverb, an “I’m not trying that hard” vibe, and lyrics that are oddly specific enough to be interesting, but still vague enough to be relatable.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Feelin’ Low (Fuckboy Blues)” or “Shampoo Bottles”

Heaven To a Tortured Mind by Yves Tumor  |  Psych Rock, Indie Pop, Post-Punk, Alternative R&B, Experimental Electronic Released: April 3, 2020

Best Album For... Tearing Up The Fucking Dance Floor With Your Hot Robot Girlfriend

If Tyler the Creator, Alex G, King Krule, and Blood Orange all got into the studio together and dropped a shit ton of acid on Halloween, their recording session might sound something like Heaven To a Tortured Mind… And even then, you still might have trouble putting your finger on exactly what you’re hearing. “Dream Palette” is a good reference track for Tumor’s most wild and mesmerizing qualities. The biggest styles of the past half century of music have been loaded into this gleefully effective genre blender, with blades of dissonance slicing everything up, creating a surrealist sonic smoothie.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Super Stars” or “Dream Palette”

The New Abnormal by The Strokes  |  Indie Rock, Dirtbag Disco, Synth Pop Released: April 10, 2020

Best Album For... Mixing Yourself Another Drink This Saturday Night

Back from the dead, The Strokes return with their first album in 7 years to turn some heads and settle back into some old habits. The charming messy haired garage rock of the early 2000s still pops up here and there, but this is really a record where the group is mature enough to show you that they actually are trying, and are unafraid to take joyous swings for the fences. Julian Casablancas pushes his scratchy alley cat yelp of a voice into something more vulnerable, sunny, and sweet, like he asked for a piña colada (you know, with one of those little umbrellas) instead of a double shot of scotch before hopping up on stage… Or maybe he did both. But these days, everyone is looking for some sort of break from our groundhog day lives any way that we can. Sometimes that sounds like selling out, or depending on how you look at it, stepping up. This album is the result of a group of old friends who got together to make music they simply want to make for themselves. Now far removed from the 2000s New York scene where their younger selves were acting too cool and disaffected to care about having fun.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Eternal Summer” or “The Adults Are Talking”

The Loves of Your Life by Hamilton Leithauser  |  Indie Rock and Alternative Country Released: April 10, 2020

Best Album For... Drinking Down At The Docks, Watching The Sun Set

While I am a fan of The Walkmen, I have no idea what their frontman Hamilton Leithauser looks like or how he dresses. But hearing these songs off of his latest solo, I imagine the following: a member of Mumford and Sons if they were edgy and cooler, giving off a “cowboy rocker meets depression-era dock worker” aesthetic. That’s exactly how his music comes off to me. It’s a convincing blend of blues rock, Americana, and old timey country music. All expertly narrated by dusty country guitars and standup bass, tarnished horns and flutes, and what I imagine to be a restored saloon piano. The Loves of Your Life originally started as a collection of short stories, each about characters based on both people he knew and strangers. Leithauser then wrote the music separately, and finally came to mix and match their parts together in a surprisingly convincing fashion to create the album.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Wack Jack” or “Cross-Sound Ferry (Walk-On Ticket)”

What Kinda Music by Tom Misch and Yussef Dayes  |  Neo-Soul, Electronic, Hip-Hop

Released: April 24, 2020

Best Album For... Cooking For Someone You’re In Love With

Exactly what kind of music do Tom Misch and Yussef Dayes make? It’s orchestral, it’s jazz-infused, it’s hip-hop beats joined with gentle soul. It’s a little sexy, it’s a little mysterious, and you’re going to want to listen to it a whole lot. That’s it. That’s what kind of music it is! Send tweet. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “What Kinda Music” or “Storm Before The Calm”

Petals For Armor by Hayley Williams  |  Electronic Pop and Art Rock Released: May 8, 2020

Best Album For... Browsing Depop for Your Next 80s Normcore ‘Fit

Hayley, Hayley, Hayley. You are too good for this wretched world!! After exploring more adventurous sounds and genre hopping over the last few Paramore records, Hayley decided to go out on her own. This really frees herself from the expectations that come along with being the face and heart of a wildly popular band for the last 15+ years. Thom Yorke fans rejoice, because Hayley Williams has a clear admiration for Radiohead’s haunting indie electronic vibe, while emoting some pain and darkness atop her love for 80s pop and art rock (think Genesis, Devo, The Talking Heads). This is a promising new avenue for Hayley to explore herself and process her pain and desire completely on her own. I see this new project of hers only blooming further from here.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Simmer” or “Sudden Desire” 

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately by Perfume Genius  |  Indie Pop and Art Rock Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Daydreaming That You Were Somewhere Else

For his 5th studio album, Perfume Genius enlists production wizard and guitar god Blake Mills, along with Grammy Award-winning arranger and multi-instrumentalist Rob Moose to create a beautiful swirling mosaic of 80s pastel pop that also packs serious classic rock grandeur. Bass guitar dances between satin smooth lines on one song to churning distorted currents on the next. Sparkling string arrangements and organs bleed together to expose a fading sunset that you’ll want to try and hold in your hands to keep it in sight. Perfume Genius is unafraid to challenge traditional masculinity, packing a 21st century queer machismo into both the quiet moments and jubilant explosions.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Without You” or “Describe”

græ by Moses Sumney  |  Indie Pop, Art Rock, Neo-Soul, Psychic Folk Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Astral Projection 101 

I mean this in the best way possible, but I think that Moses Sumney is a witch. Or maybe a wizard? There’s no other reasonable explanation for the level of creativity and wonder that he summons. This album feels like a private concert by a waterfall (similar to one on the cover), with ethereal pleas, and heavy ideas—like meditating on what lies beyond the constraints of the physical self and reconsidering how well we can actually trust memory and the mind. Sumney layers his voice to create the effect of a ghostly choir, accented by a stark intimidating falsetto that reverberates through the ruins of an abandoned temple where Sumney is the only one in attendance.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Cut Me” or “Polly”

WILL THIS MAKE ME GOOD by Nick Hakim  |  Psychedelic Neo-Soul Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Playing Pool in a Hazy Dive Bar

Nick Hakim is a silky smooth smokey crooner who paints with warbly piano loops, dreamy reverb-heavy guitar, boom bap beats—not to mention a falsetto that would make Smokey Robinson jealous. Clearly a fan of Motown and 60s jazz, Hakim could be considered a peer of Thunder Cat and Anderson .Paak’s to a degree. I remember seeing him perform at Music Hall of Williamsburg a few years ago. The performance ended with him falling down on stage (presumably from being under the influence of multiple substances). But while the song continued he popped back up and belted an impressive high note like it was nothing, drink in hand. And it’s that kind of messy beauty that also makes this album so engrossing. Like watching the eye of the storm get closer and closer, but unable to look away from the sheer magnetism that nature can wield.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  Start With: “All THESE CHANGES” or “ALL THESE INSTRUMENTS”

RTJ4 by Run The Jewels  |  Hip-Hop Released: June 3, 2020

Best Album For... Making Your Next Protest Sign

Run The Jewels’ fourth outing might be the most unapologetically angry rap album in the “fuck this” year of 2020. And it reminded me that I should absolutely still be furious about everything that happened during this groundbreaking yet terrifyingly familiar year: country wide protests over the continued murder of innocent black people at the hands of the police, government drone strikes and detaining kids in cages, the state of our environment worsening—and that’s not even addressing the pandemic or election. Killer Mike and El-P are here to scream from the rooftops that our current system of cutthroat capitalism and white supremacy is killing the planet and its inhabitants, and I’m glad that they’re using their platform to continue to sound the alarm.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “out of sight” or “ooh la la”

Your Hero Is Not Dead by Westerman  |  New Wave Revival and Indie Pop Released: June 5, 2020 Best Album For... Wanting Your Old School MTV

The cover of Westerman’s first proper album is mostly black and white, except for the title, which is scrawled out in lettering which spans the Crayola color spectrum. It’s an album that on the surface is cold and buttoned up, but when these choruses open up, the maximalist 80s power pop bursts like the bulbs of a neon sign. There’s a level of even-keeled cool and confidence in small moments on display here that makes this relatively new artist seem well beyond his years. Having seen him play at Rough Trade a few years ago (opening up for the stellar Puma Blue), the songwriting growth on display on this record is impressive. I’m only sad that there wasn’t an opportunity to have seen him play these new songs live.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Easy Money” or “Confirmation (SSBD)” 

Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers  |  Indie Rock and Alternative Country Released: June 18, 2020

Best Album For... Burning Incense and Breaking Out a Ouija Board to Talk to The Ghost of Your Former Self

This is without a doubt, a career defining release for Phoebe. Taking everything she’s learned from writing, performing, and touring with the likes of Lucy Dacus and Julien Baker (in boygenius), and Conor Oberst (in Better Oblivion Community Center), Bridgers levels up to become the truly prolific singer-songwriter she’s been telling us she would always be. Bridgers has explained her personal definition of “a punisher” as a well meaning person who’s, “just talking to you and they don’t realize that your eyes are glazed over and you’re trying to escape.” Vital to understanding this album and its central message is that Phoebe finds herself caught between the contradiction of falling victim to this phenomenon while also doing it herself, especially if she ever met her musical idol, Elliott Smith. Punisher serves as a warning to her audience that if you focus too much on trying to find yourself through other people (via escaping through fandom, drugs, toxic relationships), you’ll always feel lost and dissatisfied, without the proper self awareness to ever quite know why. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Garden Song” or “ICU”

Women In Music Pt. III by HAIM  |  Rock, Pop, Folk, R&B Released: June 26, 2020

Best Album For... Preparing For A Better 2021, lol 

With this album, HAIM skyrocketed to the #1 position of family bands that start with an “H.” Sorry, Hanson! But seriously, HAIM has outdone themselves on this one. If there was one album from this list that I would dub my personal AOTY, this would be it. You might wince at any tracklist longer than 10-12 songs these days (I know I usually do), but almost every song proves itself worthy, pulling at a different thread of my heart until there’s nothing left. Sunshine State Beach Pop? Check. Blues Tinged Dad Rock? Yup! Dive Bar Country? Mmhmm! No, wait, what’s that you say, Glitched-Out R&B? Yes, yes, and yes. You can have it all, sister! ‘Cause when you’re Haim, you’re family! ;) And these three “women in music” continue to prove that they are just about the best Assorted Pop Rocks(™) act in the world right now.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “I’ve Been Down” or “Don’t Wanna”

Lianne La Havas by Lianne La Havas  |  Neo-Soul and Indie Pop Released: July 17, 2020

Best Album For... Sipping Coffee and Journaling on a Weekend Morning

This album exudes a warm vulnerability, like a comforting hug we all needed this year. On her third album, Lianne La Havas makes the risky decision to self title it, a move that artists make when they believe that it is the piece of work that they most want most directly associated with their name. It’s one thing to name your first album after yourself if you can’t think of anything else at the time, but to make a self titled album in the middle of your career, it means that you are sure about having captured who you really are and who you want people to remember you as. “If I love myself, I know I can't be no one else,” La Havas admits on the standout track, “Paper Thin.” She knows that she will meet her destiny and reach self actualization, but only through self love. And finally, I cannot overstate how breathtaking La Havas’s voice comes across on this album. The strength and control on display in her vocal tone and vibrato is quite a spectacle. 

Spotify      Apple Music     YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Paper Thin” or “Sour Flower”

Limbo by Aminé  |  Hip-Hop and R&B Released: August 7, 2020

Best Album For... Trying and Get Over Kanye With

On Limbo, Aminé establishes himself as one of the torchbearers of soul-sampling, lyrics-driven hip-hop that still cares about storytelling, skits, and presenting vocals clearly. Kanye West, Drake, and J. Cole all paved the way for someone from the next generation like Aminé to keep the dream alive and avoid succumbing to the “feel good, don’t think” form of passive listening that mumble rap has made the standard for mainstream hip-hop.

Spotify      Apple Music     YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Pressure In My Palms” or “My Reality”

Shore by Fleet Foxes  |  Folk and Indie Rock Released: September 22, 2020

Best Album For... Running Along The Beach With Your Arms Stretched Out

It was really kind of Robin Pecknold and co. to have released an album this triumphant, calming, and awe-inspiring during the year of our Lorde 2020. On behalf of myself and anyone else who suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder, the SAD people of the world really needed this, man. And to anyone who is quick to judge these beard-o’s of being boring, you’re simply not using your ears properly. Yeah, you know those two things on either side of your head? Get the gunk out of them! That way you’ll hear the choir of angels with acoustic guitars who are here to guide us through quarantine and beyond. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Can I Believe You” or “A Long Way Past The Past” 

Listen to all of these albums together in our playlist.

[bffsoobin]

extra long tag game (a guide to all unnecessary knowledge of me)

tagged by: @txtdiaries (ily lana)

tagging: @pxppinstars @txtdream @lavenderlattaes @soobindipity (feel free to ignore if you’ve already done this or just can’t be bothered)

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

Um okay so I’ll go with explaining BTS and TXT I guess, haha. For BTS it was DNA! That was the first mv I ever saw by them and I was instantly obsessed with everything about it. For TXT, it was obviously Crown since I was keeping an eye on them as soon as BH announced a new group haha. But I initially loved the super bright and happy concept from Crown and they totally got me hooked by their personalities and other music!!

—

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

married by 23, kids by 25...I’m 19 and I’ve never even had a boyfriend so I would be shocked if I actually got this lmao

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

Honestly, I can’t think of anything other than spending more time with my roommate who I miss so so much. 

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

I wouldn’t usually call this unconventional but right now I’d say my student ID since it’s useless as I’m not going back to campus

favourite type of plushies and why?

I love teddy bears. I have two that I sleep with every night! One is a gift I got for preschool graduation (eloquently named Teddy) and the other is my iron man build a bear that my uncle bought me to cope with Endgame. 

favourite song right now?

I am notoriously bad at answering this question so I’ll just say that at the moment I’ve been listening to Red Desert by 5sos a lot.

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

I’ve always wanted to learn how to play drums and any language other than English haha

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

This took way more digging in my mind than I would like to admit but when I saw 5sos live in 2016 my best friend and I had soundcheck, so we got to sit in the venue early and ask them questions and hear a few extra songs. At the time I had beef with Luke Hemmings (because the girl he was dating at the time was one of the most toxic people on earth) and he wouldn’t break up with her. So the girl sitting next to me at soundcheck raised her hand to ask Luke a question so of course he was looking basically right at me. We were like maybe 8 rows back from the stage and at this point in my life I had bright pink hair, so there was no missing me. So this girl is asking her innocent question, and naturally Luke looks around a bit and we make eye contact and instead of fangirling like a normal person, my anger at him boiled over and I ended up flipping him off. The whole band noticed and had to pretend they weren’t laughing at the oddly aggressive 9th grader who flipped off their lead singer. I still feel bad about it to this day lmao but all my friends think it’s hilarious and it’s definitely my go to party story.

headphones or speakers? why?

headphones all the way. Speakers only if I’m showering.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

Surprisingly I’m not craving anything but that’s because I just ate dinner 10 minutes ago

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

Spotify all the way

ten questions (by lana, answered)

1. what is your favorite movie of all time?

This is such a hard question for me. I’m so bad at picking favorites. But I’d have to say it’s sort of a tie between Heathers, Brave and Iron Man 2

2. describe your childhood in three words

Disney, animals, comforting

3. Favorite holiday?

Halloween forever and always

4. Favorite vacation spot?

Disney World! 5.What do you think of the education system? Are you a fellow slave to the GPA?

The US education system has massive holes. I was lucky enough to attend a pretty good highschool and take good classes so I don’t feel like I was as robbed as other people, but there are curriculum gaps and misinformation everywhere you go. As far as college goes, I think it is wayyyy too expensive. Despite that, I still signed myself up for 8 years of debt so yes, I am a slave to the GPA. Gotta go hard for the dream job. 

6. What is your hair color? Very light blonde now, normally dirty blonde

7. What talent do you wish you had?

I wish I could draw or paint well so bad. I am so envious of artists.

8. What is your major and why? (If you’re in highschool, what do you plan on majoring in?)

I’m a biology major because I want to become a veterinarian! 

9.Do you like kids or do you merely tolerate them? I love most kids. There will always be some awful ones but as a general rule I love being around kids and I definitely want some of my own!

10. Any pets?

Yep, I have five cats!

ten questions from me to you:

who is your favorite non kpop artist?

do you prefer to be warm or cool?

dream job, if you have one?

favorite TV show?

top three celebrities you would sell your soul to meet?

do you believe in ghosts?

cookies or brownies?

do you like where you live?

do you know your personality type? If so, what is it?

do you prefer floral scents or neutral scents?

—

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

—

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: sara

nickname: sadams

birthday: April 16th, 2001

zodiac: Aries hehe

nationality: sadly, american

languages: only english 

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5'2 or 3 I don’t know for sure

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: obviously txt but I pull inspiration from my life, music, TV/movies and other stories!

meaning behind my url: I heavily believe in the idea of alternate universes and I think there’s one where Soobin and I are best friends so that’s what I made my url!

blog established: May of 2020

followers: 568 (how??)

FAVORITES

favourite animals: cats, snakes, raccoons

favourite books: Looking For Alaska by John Green

favourite colour: black, light purple, forest green, deep blue

favourite fictional characters: Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds), Andy Dwyer (Parks and Rec), Leslie Knope (Parks and Rec), Klaus and Ben (Umbrella Academy), Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes. For some reason I’m blanking on book characters so here are all of my movie/tv faves

favourite flower: Forget me nots

favourite scent: fresh laundry, anything tropical or ocean smelling, basil

favourite season: fall!

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 7 or 8 usually 

cats or dogs: cats

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: hot chocolate 

current time: 6:41 pm

dream trip: Australia or SK

dream job: Veterinarian 

hobbies: writing, watching tv/movies, shopping, going for walks

hogwarts house: slytherin

last movie watched: 68 Kill (do not watch if you’re under 18 or sensitive, lmao)

last song listened to: Sarah Smiles by Panic! at the Disco

no. of blankets you sleep with: right now two

random fact(s): I love dinosaurs, I have low iron, I’m allergic to dogs even though I work at a doggy daycare

—

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to 

stay gold- bts

20 cm- txt

catch fire- 5sos

self- khalid

f2020- avenue beat

nyla- blackbear

everywhere- niall horan

heather- conan gray 

red desert- 5sos

eight- iu, suga

[fanfic-scribbles]

Lunch Buddy: Chapter Two

Masterlist

<<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>>

Overall Story Facts:

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Story Summary: Steve Rogers makes a friend. A prickly, generally people-averse friend, but they’ll both take what they can get.

Quick Facts: Friendship (/Eventual Romance) – Steve Rogers & Reader (leading to Steve Rogers/Reader) – Female Reader

Story Warnings: Reader-insert that verges on OFC, written in 1st person past tense

Chapter Two: Something New

Chapter Summary: Steve’s new acquaintance gets him to try something different.

Chapter Word Count: 1639

A/N: I really love vignettes and if that wasn't apparent before, it will become so in this chapter. Also author bias pokes out a little bit more; Spotify is the only streaming service I have any familiarity with so that’s what I’m using. I’ve excised most of my musical preferences in this story (it used to make up a fairly big chunk) but my frame of reference will pop up from time to time, as these things tend to do.

   Steve Rogers was boring.

“Okay, no.”

He leaned his head to one side. “It’s just a coffee.”

I hadn’t meant to actually blurt that out, but fuck it; I was rolling with it now. “I just mean– you always pick that. Why not try something new?”

“I don’t want to try something new. I want that,” he said and looked at me with a raised eyebrow, like he was scolding me? Fuck that. “You said you’d buy my coffee. That’s my coffee.”

“Come on, I’m paying. This is the point where you pick something you thought about getting but didn’t want to spend your money on.”

“What happens if I don’t like it?”

“Throw it out.”

He made a face. “That’s wasteful.”

Maybe so, but he didn’t want a little change? His face said ‘no’ though so I rolled my eyes and got up. “All right; I’ll buy your boring coffee.”

“You don’t know exactly what I get,” Steve said, craning his neck as I walked away.

“You order the same fucking thing every time. They sure as hell know your order.”

Of course they knew exactly how much cream or sugar he did (mostly did not) want. So I got his drink, and then I got a little something different for myself, with a tiny empty cup on the side. I came back and plopped my stuff down before I could spill, but I handed him his drink properly. “I have to admit, I was a little relieved about the flavoring; I didn’t know you had it in you.”

He stopped just before he could take a drink. “I don’t–…wait.”

I tried to contain my laughter. It shook my body and he gave me a hard look. “Sorry, sorry!” I said and started pouring out a little of my drink into the cup. “I couldn’t help myself.”

“That’s cold,” he said.

“No. This is cold,” I said and gave him his little sample. “Here. It’s something I ordered and it’s just a little bit– enough to taste, not enough to waste.”

“You’re a poet and you didn’t know it,” he quipped as he held the cup.

“I absolutely knew it,” I said, which got him to smile. The drink sample itself was already on very shaky ground by the way he regarded it. He looked hesitant but he sniffed it, very slowly took a sip, and…put it down with a weird look on his face. “That’s okay,” I said and leaned back to toss it before he could worry about it.

“It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be,” he said and took what I assumed was a palate-cleansing sip of his own drink.

“A ringing endorsement,” I said and unwrapped my headphones. I didn’t take it as a loss– there were a lot of good things on that menu board. I’d get him. Eventually.

~

He didn’t show up for a few days. When he came back, he was coming in just as I was leaving and all we did was say “Hi” in passing. I felt a little…not bad, but disappointed. Oddly enough. We didn’t talk all the time, but he was pleasant company to have. He was actually perfect for my not-super-social tastes. It was nice to have someone who I could just sit quietly with.

One day, he was already there with his usual. I picked out something different but warm, and sort of closer to coffee. Might as well ease him into it.

“That’s pretty good,” he admitted and put down the empty tester cup.

“Good,” I said and made a mental note of it.

“Good?” he asked, like he was suspicious.

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “Um…yeah,” I said. “What? I’m not trying to horrify you.”

He lifted one hand and shoulder, like ‘okay.’ “I’m used to people trying to shock me with things.”

“I’m not out to antagonize people. Generally,” I said. “If we’re friends, then yes, that’s completely reasonable. But I just barely met you, so you don’t have to worry. Yet.”

“Yet,” he repeated, his smile leaning to one side.

It was my turn to shrug. “You never know.”

~

Despite the random admirers, Steve was mostly left alone. There was a good handful of regulars and apparently most people wanted so badly to play into the ‘cool, unaffected by anything’ New York image that they’d rather stare longingly at Captain America than approach him. Some did, of course, but I was a bit surprised at how few those were.

“Do you need something?” Steve asked, and I suddenly realized I was staring in his general vicinity.

“Oh, no, sorry,” I said and rested my head on my hand, and fixed my gaze elsewhere. “I’m just staring off into space; don’t mind me.”

His smile looked a little strange, like he kind of wanted to ask why I was so weird. Or maybe I was just projecting. If only he knew that was only barely the tip of the iceberg. He didn’t get the chance to speak though– he suddenly sat a little stiffer and I barely realized why when a couple of young women approached him from behind. I put my head down to my book. How did he do that?

I thought I might ask him, as a conversation piece, but those girls kept talking…and talking…and talking. What they talked about I couldn’t say; it was mostly them fangirling but in a way that made me want to grit my teeth. Steve too, apparently, by how tight that smile was, and how hard he gripped that sketchbook. He hadn’t seemed so badly affected by that girl who had stammered at him for ten minutes, so they must not have been saying anything good. It seemed wrong to just sit back, but…

I had an idea, but I didn’t know if I should step in. I didn’t want to– this had the chance to be humiliating, if Steve didn’t play along. However, I thought he might, just out of politeness? Either way I decided, fuck it, I was going for it. I cleared my throat, but it was only enough to get Steve’s eyes to flick at me. I cleared it louder, and actually got his full attention, which (eventually) got the gaggle to shut up.

I smiled at Steve. “Uh, I found that song I was talking about, but you’ll have to listen to it now. I gotta get back to work soon.”

Steve practically slouched with relief; it was ridiculous that the impromptu fan club didn’t see it for what it was. I did get some dirty looks though, and they only intensified when Steve politely thanked them and sent them on their way. I wiped one of the earbuds and handed it to him, and randomly picked a song I thought he might like.

“It’s a little different from what you might be used to,” I murmured into his free ear. “But it’s pretty chill. A couple songs, okay?”

The look he gave me said ‘thank you’ better than words could. I sat back, navigating the minefield of my music, until I had to go. Apparently done with people, Steve packed up when I did, and we parted ways at the door.

~

“I try not to be…like that too much, you know?”

I looked up at Steve and could not, for the life of me, figure out how we got from “hi” and “hey” and a half hour of utter silence to that. “Uh…what?” I asked.

“Sorry,” he said and looked askance for a moment. “Those girls yesterday. I feel bad for brushing them off– they weren't that rude– I just…didn’t feel like talking much.”

“Oh. Yeah, I get that,” I said and looked back at my book.

“You get that particularly right now?” he asked, but he sounded amused.

“This is the age of multitasking. Get used to it,” I said but I put in my bookmark and shut it. I was close to having to leave anyway; starting a new chapter now would be a bad idea. “I was worried that would be overstepping. So I’m glad it worked out.”

“It wasn’t. I really appreciated it,” he said with a smile that showed it. “I actually liked the songs.”

The way he said it was…well, not intentionally insulting, so I went with it. “Why so surprised?”

“I don’t like a lot of music these days.” He shifted and then shrugged. “Maybe I’m just not used to it.”

That could have been it. Or. “Who’s been exposing you to music?”

“Tony,” he said. “Oh, right– Tony, my friend, is actually Tony S–”

“Tony Stark, yeah, I got that,” I said and he laughed. I rolled my eyes. “Smartass. See if I teach you to appreciate modern music.”

“I’ve been told I’m hopeless,” he said.

“I doubt you actually are, if your music timeline jumps from Bing Crosby to ACDC.” I scoffed at the thought. “That’s like going from Baroque to Blues.” Well. “Okay, maybe not, but hopefully you get the idea.”

Steve stared at me. “You know Bing Crosby?”

He sounded so hopeful, I couldn’t help but rope myself in. “Do you have any music streaming service? Like Spotify or something?”

“I probably could ask Pepper,” he said.

“Cool. Ask them to hook you up.” I scooted over to him. “Here; check this out.” I showed him the basics of Spotify, using Bing Crosby as an example. “The algorithm for some of the playlists can be a little…odd. Just zero in on what you like for now and I’ll figure out some playlists to make you when I have more time.” Speaking of which– I glanced at the clock, cursed, and started packing up. “I gotta go; I’ll see you later.”

“Have a nice day at work,” he said, overly cheerful. I flipped him off and he just laughed.

<<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>>

[alaina-b]

Child’s Play 2019 Review

Spoilers under the cut!

So tonight I went and saw Child’s Play and let me tell you, it was certainly a ride, and I didn’t want to get off.

Spoiler Free Review: Now I am in no way a critic.  I am a casual moviegoer who thoroughly enjoys the thrill of a horror film.  With that in mind, let’s get into it.

I’ve been a fan of the original Chucky since Halloween of 2018.  I’ve watched all the movies (some more than once) and own the whole collection of the films.  I was very skeptical when they first announced the remake and how Chucky would be portrayed (as an AI killer robot instead of a possessed doll) but the idea began to grow on me once I realized the possibilities that were opened with this new concept.  I believe this movie acted on many of those possibilities while leaving many others open for use in possibly a sequel (I would love that).

The things that I liked about the film were the story and emotional turmoil, along with the actual portrayal of Chucky as an AI robot.  His personality is absolutely nothing like his original counterpart, and I think that’s why I enjoyed it.  It was a brand new, modern take on Chucky and how that was shown was very unsettling in a cute-creepy way.  The story was very nice and Andy was a very relatable character to me.  The aspects of that will be explored further in my spoiler review under the cut.  There were so many emotions in this film and it made me tear up a couple times, actually.  Gabriel Bateman as Andy and Bryan Tyree Henry as Detective Norris both gave amazing performances in their roles and I would love to see them reprise their roles.

Now let’s get into what the horror fans came here for, the gore and kills.  I cannot express how big of a relief it was when I first saw that this film was rated R, and they used that rating well.  The kills in this movie were gloriously bloody and so horrifying that they made me squirm and curl up in my seat (something only the Saw films had been able to do to me).

Some other aspects that I found were amazing: The soundtrack (which is available to listen to on YouTube and Spotify, possibly other places but I’m not sure) is phenomenal.  It mixes a cute and comforting feeling with that of an unsettling and frightening tone and that is amazing.  I’m a sucker for creepy music boxes and creepy kids songs in horror movies (think of Freddy’s song in the Nightmare on Elm Street movies).  I also believe that the overall look of the Chucky doll is not that bad.  He’s creepy while also keeping that “Hey, it’s kinda cute” vibe to it.  Kinda like an ugly puppy, you just can’t see it as actually ugly.  The look of the doll only grew on me through the film.

The only part that I thought could use work was the pacing.  It takes a long time to actually get going, but once it does, it doesn’t stop.  Once the movie gets started, it is very fast-paced and kind of rushed.  It was only an hour and a half, and I feel that it would have been better if they had made it longer and drawn out several things (or maybe that’s just me wanting more Chucky, lol)

Overall, I say that it was a great movie and definitely worth a watch for any Chucky fan or horror fan in general.

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

Here is my SPOILER REVIEW of Child’s Play 2019.  It will cover all above-mentioned topics, but point out places in the film where it takes place.

First, I’ll go back and start with the story.  I absolutely loved the story and the emotional impact it had on the characters.  Andy struggling to face what Chucky has done and what he’s capable of is heart-wrenching as we watch him slowly begin to realize that this doll is a killer and is not to be trusted.  Chucky’s first act of violence is toward the family cat after it scratches Andy.  Chucky tries strangling the cat (fun little nod to the “lakeshore strangler” title of Charles Lee Ray, the OG Chucky) and Andy has to stop him.  This is the first problem Andy notices with Chucky and the shock on his face and his fear of Chucky is there, but his first concern is making sure that Chucky isn’t gonna do this anymore because he doesn’t want to lose him.  This is seen more and more through the film especially when Chucky brings the head of Shane (or rather, the face).  Andy tries just putting Chucky in the closet instead of immediately throwing him out.  Andy has a real, true friendship with this doll and it is heartbreaking seeing Andy have to kill his best friend.

Chucky’s personality is that of a very curious and confused little doll.  I loved that about the film because Chucky is so innocent compared to his original counterpart.  We see him get excited when he thinks he finds a new way to make Andy happy, like when the group was watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 on Andy’s TV and they’re all laughing and smiling at the blood and gore (great choice, by the way.  I adore TCM2).  When the kids see that Chucky has a knife and is trying to kill Pugg, they all, understandably, stop him.  But Chucky just looks confused, he thought they liked blood and gore.  He thought the real-life version would make them even happier than the fake version.  I love this aspect of Chucky.  He’s just so confused and just trying to figure things out.  Especially since he basically has consciousness and sentience, he has to figure out how the world works.  Unfortunately, he keeps getting mixed signals.  And I just love how that is what drives him to kill.  He thinks that’s what Andy wants.  It’s just amazing all around.

The kills in this movie, as stated before, are amazing.  Shane’s death is now one of my favorite horror movie kills of all time.  The impending doom of the garden tiller making its way to Shane’s head was so beautifully suspenseful and the satisfaction of seeing this asshole’s face get ripped off was awesome.  The death of the stalking mechanic in the basement also had a feeling of satisfaction to it.  Just the fact that the first two kills happened to total dicks is very nice.  And I love a good table saw kill.  Then we have the death of Doreen.  Her death was tragic and the effect it had on me was great.  As soon as we saw that Chucky was watching Doreen leave in her Kaslan Car, we knew it was over.  That feeling of knowing what’s coming to such a lovable character is heartbreaking.  It adds a layer of personal need for revenge to the story of Detective Norris.  He will find out who’s doing this and he will not stop until they’re brought to justice.  The acting on Brian’s part is amazing in the scene where he finds his mother’s body and you see the moment he looks at her his world shatters.  My favorite kill, however, is the drone kill.  The drone kill shown near the end of the film is amazing and I wish we saw more of those.

I won’t speak too much about the ending because this is already a very long post, but I loved the ending.  The fight between Chucky and Andy while Andy is trying to save his mom is great, and when you think Chucky is down for good, he gets back up and jumps at Andy, and that scene was my favorite of the film.  I also love that they left it open for a possible sequel and I would LOVE to see one.

As I said before, the pacing is pretty weird, but that doesn’t affect my opinion of the film at all.  You can imagine scenes that could take place in between parts of the movie and use your imagination to envision things in the film that you didn’t necessarily see, but you can definitely imagine happening.  I believe I talked about the pacing enough in my spoiler-free review above, but if you’d like me to talk about what parts of the movie were oddly paced, feel free to send an ask and I’ll gladly talk about it.

Overall, once again, I loved this film.  This new, cute Chucky was a nice spin on the original and I loved his personality.  If you disagree, that’s totally fine.  I would love to talk about this movie more with anyone.  (I’m just a huge fangirl who found a new son tonight and I wanna show him off to everyone).

[tampon-on-the-sidewalk]

Kaden Watches the 2014 Grand Final

First off, I AM SO STINKIN HAPPY THAT IT ISN’T REGION BLOCKED I legit cried when I saw they uploaded it to the official youtube. This was the first show that I was able to watch live and be on Tumblr during, and it was such a fun, amazing time. I’ve been wanting to watch it in full again but couldn’t find it anywhere, and the DVD is extremely rare. 

All of my thoughts under the cut, enjoy as this American watches the grand final for the third time since it aired. Feel free to watch along! 

Ukraine: I still have this song on my Spotify playlist tbh it’s such a bop. I still love the hamster wheel as a prop and the vocals are pretty on point after the first verse.

Belarus: Hilariously enough I literally JUST listened to this in the car on my way home XD Another iconic song, honestly this whole year was pretty great. The background dancers are a mood. The vocals are pretty great, and it’s just such a silly and fun song. Plus I remember all the memes from this performance XD

Azerbaijan: I don’t remember this song?? But she has such a gorgeous voice omg. not to mention the TRAPEZE. Golly this is such a great performance. Also that dress is absolutely stunning

Iceland: Another absolute bop and meme song that I listened to for years after this. This is just. Such a fun song and the LOVE pose at the end always gets me  

Norway: Why does he look like Kobi Marimi. Okay but real talk it’s a pretty ballad, but that’s really it. Not something I should watch close to bed. But seriously he reminds me SO MUCH of Kobi and I have no clue why. Something in the eyes. 

Side note, I forgot how great the postcards were for this year.

Romania: I prefer Playing With Fire, but this was still very fun. Always a sucker for the 360 piano. 

Armenia: This song was so strange to me when I first heard it, and it still is now. There’s something charming about it though. A simple performance but still really captivating. 

Montenegro: Another song I don’t remember? Love the ice skating and the graphics on the floor. His voice is very rich and I always love when an artist sings in their native tongue.

Poland: I had to skip this one =w=‘’ I could barely stomach it when I first watched it. Too much fanservice and the song is awful. I’ve heard other songs by them and they are so much better.

Greece: This plays on Spotify every so often. I really like it, it’s definitely a great party tune and songs like something you’d hear at an American dance club. It’s definitely a lot of fun. Not to mention I love the raps =w= Also the trampoline is great =w= singing while on a trampoline is super not easy

Austria: MY HEART Okay Conchita stole my heart from the first time watching and I have both albums(PLEASE listen to the newest one). Absolutely stunning as always and just. U g h so many feelings. I’m just a puddle of tears again.

Germany: Another one that I still play all the time, I just love the traditional instruments in this. The vocals live aren’t the best, but seriously heroutfit is a look. Oddly enough something in her face reminds me of a good friend of mine. Honestly this performance really feels.. forced =w=‘ Love the song, not too much of a fan of the live. Also the accordion player lowkey looks like Anna Kendrick mixed with Lena. The ad libbing at the end really didn’t sit well to me.

Sweden: While this song did nothing for me when I first heard it, I revisited this performance a year later when I lived with my parents and became absolutely OBSESSED with this song. I still absolutely love it. listen to that CROWD. Great vocals.All the Sanna wigs in the crowd tho

France: Another fun song,  the one guy reminded me of Weerd Al upon first watching it but now? He actually low key reminds me of Michal Szpak. And Weird Al. This is so fun and in-your-face after Sanna’s performance.

Russia: I’m still so mad that they were booed because they did so well during this. I really loved the performance. I love the balance beam/seesaw as a prop, and the entwined ponytails. Still one of my favourite songs of the year. 

Italy: Ooh, this is a very fun performance? Not too much a fan of the vocals but the music is pretty great. Pretty great performance in terms of Energy. 

Slovenia: yet ANOTHER one of my favourite songs that I still listen to. I love this performance, she does such a great job live. Simple staging, but the lighting effects are great. I’ve listened to it so many times that I’ve choreographed a contemporary routine to it in my head, and I still see it during this XD. Seriously this is such a great performance, I hope this made the top ten.

Finland: I feel like this is a song I should have paid more attention to. I really like it and want to look into more by Softengine. I love the high notes, he does them so wel live and the band has so much energy. This is just. So great. This is definitely a song younger me should have gotten into but I think I’ve only listened to it like, Four times? Legit.

Spain: I don’t remember this song at all =w=‘ I like the rain effect. It’s a pretty song and she has very pretty vibrato and her power notes are incredible, but the song itself isn’t doing anything for me.

Switzerland: Oh my lovely Sebalter. Guess what, yet another song I still love and listen to regularly. I remember all the memes that generated from his performance, too. Did we ever find out if the whistling was live? I still love this performance either way. It’s a lot of fun. Most iconic violin next to Alexander Rybak. 

Hungary: I remember being so mad watching the Jury section live because I really did not like this song XD The shift from the verse to the chorus just didn’t work for me, felt very disconnected. Plus the song it just really darke? I’m seriously surprised this qualified. The dancing is really well done though. 

Malta: I remember everyone calling them Malta and Sons. Not particularly my cup of tea, but still a good performance regardless. I really love their voices. 

Denmark: The Bruno Mars comparisons were endless back in the day. This is still a super fun song and I still can’t BELIEVE the studio version was explicit. That one back up dancer is going so hard and I absolutely love it. The Love flag is so cheesy and perfect.

The Netherlands: so SLEEPY. Good performance sure but not when you’re watching right before bedtime. More good use of the floor screen. I’ve noticed there were a lot of instruments on stage this year? Something that didn’t click back in the day. Also is it bad that I lowkey find Waylon attractive

San Marino: Is it bad I forgot that Valentina did manage to qualify one year. All I can think with that prop is Peacock. Interesting song, I really like her vocals in this. She defo deserved to qualify this year.

United Kingdom: It’s funny that I remembered the name of the song and artist but couldn’t remember the song to save my life. Definitely one of the better UK acts of the decade. 

~I went to bed bc it was obvious I was getting too tired =w= ~

Graham’s “That’s me!’ got me =w= And all the streamers and such

Watching the recap as soon as I wake up and golly is it a wakeup call =w= Seriously the 2014 Grand was one of my favourites minus Poland =w=; 

Took the recap as time to see how many songs from this year I still actively listen to, and that would be 11/26. 

Momoland Interval Act: Okay the staging of this is incredible? I know they had harnesses on just in case but when they stood on top of the ladder my heart started palpatating

 12 Points Interval Act:  Okay this is fun =w= A lot of fun. I’m laughing so hard. 

Museum of Eurovision History clip: I REMEMBERED THIS SEGMENT AND I AM CRYING Those poor kids. Also completely unrelated, I had to carpool to a meeting with a co-worker and found out she was actually born and raised in Sweden and moved to the states when she was 11. She remembers dancing around her room to Diggaloo Diggeley. 

Green Room Interviews: Amazing that they brought all the foods from the contestants favourite places and the fakeout with France.

Emelie De Forest performance: I know people call this the second most overrated winner next to Euphoria but I really like the song still. A very nice performance and those branch wings are incredible. I also really like Rainmaker. I really like how they brought all the contestants on stage to sing and dance with her. 

~I’m gonna miss Jon Ola Sand ; ( 

Jury Votes: I cut in and out bc I have to do laundry but I still remember how excited I was when Conchita won. I forgot that they said the 8 and 10 points as well as their 12 points. I am so MAD that Russia got booed whenever they got the 10 or 12 points.  I also didn’t realize there were only 37 countries this time.

My thoughts on the Top Ten:  Y’all know I’m ecstatic that Austria won, I’m actually kinda surprised by the top ten? But this is just based on the Jury votes right? Either way I’m bitter that Slovenia did so poorly and surprised that Hungary did so well. I would have been content with Sanna winning but I am surprised that The Common Linnets did so well. CONCHITA’S REACTION TO WINNING BREAKS ME EVERY TIME 

All-in-all, this was a great year, and I am so veryvery happy that I was able to watch it again. Thanks for reading!

[harrysdimples]

just gonna leave my thoughts about the 1975′s new album, a brief inquiry into online relationships, here bc I’m that type of dumbass that will forget what I thought of it 10 mins after i listen to it kksjsaknskas (this is me listening to the leak btw and obviously I will buy the album when it comes out on friday)

give yourself a try: ?? 10/10 excellent single choice. loves it so much!! the exact techno 80s guitar I needed to live my best life. sign of the times??? le gasp. so just giiiiIIIiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIveeeeeeeee yourself a tryyyyyyyyy....thank u matty for inspiring my self love once more

TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME: THE FUCKING BOP OF THE CENTURY. genuinely on blast 24/7. what a TUUUUUUUUNE. love this with my whole heart and is the wholesome bop I needed. just pop perfection. LAV IT. the video warmed my soul. thank u to whatever god gave me the chance to boogie along to this when I make my breakfast n tea

how to draw / petrichor: why does this intro sound like beginning of a john lewis christmas advert? I mean I’m not complaining, take me to winter wonderland pls. wonderful xylophone usage. this is a veryyyyyy long intro. OH WOW this vocoder i love. not entirely sure what matty is saying but you know ? I dig it. OOFT OK WE TAKING IT SOFT TECHNO IM HERE FOR IT. this feels like a song that if u put on in the background you’d be really productive. ok we’re nearly 4 mins in and not much has happened. im here for these oddly distant computer sounds. hmmmmm not sure how to feel about this. feels like I might be dreaming about 80% of this song but I’m not entirely sure what to think about this. oh the piano at the end pls I love. was this just supposed to be an interlude or?........

love it if we made it: I actually did not like this at all on first listen when it was released as a single but MAN after the video and the genius video I am HERE. FOR. IT. thank YOU matty my KING for this woke af song. we stan. 2 real sometimes tbh. AND I’D LOVE IT IF WE MADE IT. the ultimate headbanging in your car song.

be my mistake: oh.........bitch am I in for a ride with this guitar?.......shit. fuckin hell I’m tearin up already. MATTY JESUS CHRIST. I literally just got chills all over my body. this is like.......a sadder slower version of somebody else if that were possible. I’m literally crying oh wow???? this is so fucking beautiful holy wow. so simple yet so powerful. I am absolutely in love with this. possibly my favourite 1975 song ever and that’s saying something. I feel the urge to lie in the dark at 3am and listen to this song with headphones on & just cry. wow. I am literally in awe. this is one of the most sonically perfect songs I’ve ever heard holy shit. thank you. wow.

sincerity is scary: I’m still emotionally recovering from be my mistake jeez louise but I absolutely LOVE this song too. the mv for this was *italian chef kiss* and the entire message behind this song is so ! bloody ! important ! this three song stretch of love it if we made it / be my mistake / sincerity is scary is grammy worthy within itself. I will FIGHT the recording academy if this doesn’t get an aoty nomination. and this song better be fuCKIN recognised istg

I like america & america likes me: this vocoder......yes bitch. I have chills again. maybe that’s just cause I’m cold. OH THAT BEAT DROP?? YES??? yeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeesssssss bitch. this is lit??? vocoder is a personal peeve of mine in songs but this pops off? I’ll need to look up what the lyrics are for a lot of this bc I have no clue what he’s sayin 60% of the time in this song. long fade out but im here for it

the man who married a robot: this intro??? MEMES WHOMST??? I am ? wow ? I don’t know what’s going on rn but I’m going with it. this is supposed to be a deeper meaning of a reflection of society but I cannot take this siri voice seriously. confidentiality issues and porn issues with your computer is 2 real. I’m ? this was an eye opening interlude type thing. THE VIOLINS YES PLS. this is giving me those apple launch adverts for new phones background music realness. sad wanking?? here for it and harry approved

inside your mind: these violins??? oooooOOOOooooh this piano??? OKAY BITCH???? that low note ok wow???? these lyrics are slightly stalkerish but u know. oh okay we’re taking it there??? I see. this is a very nice orchestral accompaniment. 10/10 on vocals thank u. this shredding on the guitar in the back? im assuming this is supposed 2 be self aware creepiness & thank god for that. showing how fucked males are as a gender. seeing females as a vessel for their own personal pleasure and then when they either don’t get that or have used them for what they need, turn to violence as the natural consequence of his actions.

it’s not living (if it’s not with you): a vibey song that I needed. I’m lovin it. feels like it could be part of an 80s coming of age film, like ferris bueller’s day off or sixteen candles. the chorus absolutely SLAPS and thank you for this bop. an amazing song for a long car journey/road trip. 10/10 would recommend listening

surrounded by heads and bodies: oh........no........I thought I was safe after be my mistake but APPARENTLY NOT. these harmonies are heavenly. feel like this is what you hear as you are being lifted into heaven to calm you down. has that whimsical/ethereal vibe and I absolutely love it with matty’s voice. the lyrics are fuckin sad :( I am hurting. my hort :(  will be adding this to my sleepy time playlist on spotify of songs that lull me to sweet dreams, I look forward to falling asleep to this (and I mean that in the best way possible) 

mine: this flute? hm. oh......no.....another piano my heart is too fragile for this please no. this is so pretty :( oh no I am tearing up. pleaSE I LOVE THIS. SAXOPHONE AHHHHHH MY FAVE. JAZZY????? ALL I COULD EVER WANT PLEASE THANK YOUUUUUUU. I am IN LOVE WITH THIS. lookin back on 2009? was it really raining all the time? oh this is so melancholy and I love it :( this is the type of song u slow dance to at a wedding. OHHHHH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. please I am so emotionally fragile this is a lot for my overly emotional heart to handle. you are just fine!!! because I know you are mine!!! someone stab me in the chest please!!! when will I receive love!!!! a contender for my fave on the album

I couldn’t be more in love: judging by the title if this is another slow song I’m going to bawl my eyes out. oh fuCK. this is......sad........I am..........sad. matty’s voice oh my god????? my love.....I need to be held. baby I’ll rely on all the things i did BECAUSE I’LL GIVE YOU ALL THE YEARS OF MY LIFE FUCK OFFFFFFFFFF I AM SWAN DIVING OFF A CLIFF. THIS CHOIR??? RIP MY SOUL FROM MY BODY THANKS. I am thIS close from having an emotional breakdown. and this bloody guitar solo just solidified that for me okay wow I was not nearly emotionally prepared enough for this album. THAT KEY CHANGE BITCH?????? I am so sad but I’m having a musical eargasm. wow I loved that.

I always wanna die (sometimes): (that’s a fat mood) oh no I really am going to cry during this song. oh. fuck. holy fuck this is genuinely a situation I’ve been in before and I don’t know what to do with myself. 

I had to stop and listen after the first verse because this song hit me so much. wow. this is a masterpiece. the bridge is absolutely beautiful. one of the most meaningful songs I’ve ever listened to. god listening to this song after I’ve gone through is making me so emotional. and matty’s vocals are the most angelic thing I’ve ever heard. I don’t even know how to describe this song because it’s just that good. just wow. so fucking beautiful and the best closer to an album I’ve heard since hs1. I just love this with my entire being.

overall rating: 10. my favourite album of 2018 by far. just beautifully crafted and a genuine piece of art. this is the band’s best album. I need to go process what I just heard but wow. just so beautiful and I’m thankful my ears were so blessed to hear this. faves from the album are def mine, be my mistake, tootime and I always wanna die (sometimes)