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#that one has an actual story to tell beyond How We Got Famous lol
littlelambdrgnfly · 7 months
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Oh my gosh i would die for an animated beatles series. i think that would be so cool. I'm so passionate about art of the beatles in general, more than i can express, and i think that would fit a lot better/ be more interesting. I think it'd also be better if so many people are so expectant for the casting to look like them. No problems on casting if you can just animate them :)
I will honestly be relieved if it doesnt happen. music biopics arent my thing either. many will disagree with me but i hated the freddie mercury biopic :( </3 loved rocketman though. But im always suspicious of movies being made about very complicated topics, especially if theyre making it just to make money. i think if they do end up making 4 movies about them, it will inevitably be bad since all 4 of their lives are so hard to represent in the format of a movie (thats at least what i feel)
And i didnt even think about their lives being almost similar during their times as beatles since they spent maybe like 60% or more of their time together up until maybe 1967. Great point. Even if it was about when they were more separated from 1967-1970, i still dont think their lives were varied enough to make 4 individual films about them
sorry im going on but you are still a beloved blog i go back to now and then (lol) and a cool person i think, so im glad i could get your opinion and also just love talking about this (since i havent been able to talk about it with another beatles fan so far) - person who sent the question about the biopic
Honestly, ever since I mentioned it, I’ve been obsessed with thinking about an animated Beatles series! Like, my god, it has the potential to be so good! I keep planning it out in my head, like each episode would be at a specific time, early years, Hamburg, Beatlemania, etc… A talented animator can express so much with so little in a way that live action usually can’t touch, and that would be so important in a rich story like the Beatles’. You could even do each chapter in a different style, or with different artists, just to highlight the changes they’re going through! God, someone get me in a room with a Netflix producer, PLEASE.
I didn’t even see Bohemian Rhapsody and I adore Queen and Freddie Mercury. As soon as I heard that the band was involved with the making, I knew that it wasn’t gonna be good. 😅 I really don’t watch any musician/actor biopics. Celebrities, and families of celebrities, are always going to make themselves look as good as possible, even if it means making a worse movie. But the whole genre is just so predictable— you’ve got a young person who loves entertainment but they’ve got some kind of barrier holding them back, they break through, they experience fame, they hit a low point usually with substance abuse, and then they either get better or die. You can’t really help it, it’s just the nature of a celebrity’s life, there’s always going to be the same elements. I mean, there’s a connection as to why Amadeus is so heavily fictionalized, not even told from Mozart’s perspective, and why it’s the best music biopic ever lol. There’s a real fine line between keeping enough of the true story and making an engaging film, and I don’t think that many filmmakers are up to the challenge.
Thanks for sending these asks! I love talking about film and television and the awful awful decisions Hollywood seems intent on making lmao! 💖
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ifihadtopickadad · 3 months
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you've made a mistake by telling me to go read up on the au- (/j)
anyway. susan refers to nessa and gregory as her children, so i assume this means she adopted nessa?? either legally or just emotionally, and considering she was homeless before henry gave them the afton house i am going to assume the us legal system wouldnt give her custody of nessa at all so its the latter.
WILLIAM FINDING REMNANT AS A TEENAGER IS SUCH A COOL CONCEPT ?!?!? like. him finding it post cc (i love how you call him benny btw. really cool name) or charlie's death is interesting, but the idea that he experimented using animals (AND HIS OWN FAMILY DAMN) and then moved onto children/humans once he- presumeably- did everything he could with being that didnt have the same level of sentience?? amazing. very evil-scientist core. love it.
remnant working similar to radiation is also an interesting idea, having to be stored carefully or it will 'possess' the objects around it. (imagine william tried to store it in a bucket one time and the bucket just. got possessed. what do you even do in that situation-) are there some materials that remenant is physcially unable to uh. meld itself into i guess?? like some resources are just remnant resistant??
will susan tell the kids about remnant? about everything (or even just some things) the aftons had going on? or is she going to try protect them from the truth?? DOES SHE FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO MIKE POST-SISTER LOCATION?? is the scoop canon to this au?? (if so my next question is how did faz ent get the sperm of a corpse but its faz ent. theyll find a way.)
the au seems great so far !! definately really interesting, will be Rotating It in my mind for the next several days and going mental any time you post something new for it lol
take care !! <3
It Twasn't a mistake. Twas a calculated risk.
I love people asking about the stuff I make. I'm out here stimming from excitement, you got me smiling so hard that my dimples are showing.
Emotionally and illegally. If there's one thing the lore has shown us about Henry beyond what we already know, it's that after William's bull-fuckery Henry had to be just as shady to bring the musty dusty purple Pringle down so paying someone to forge adoption papers was easy(I like to think he fnaf!Neil Caffrey to do it)
The concept of William discovering Remnant post-CC is nice but it never lined up quite right to me, I know way too much about how famous historical scientists studied the way stuff worked extensively to even begin experimenting with it to think that he discovered Remnant, and immediately started killing people to get results. William isn't on the Anti Social Personality Spectrum but he is an undiagnosed Narcissist with a God-Complex. So, William discovers Remnant as a teen and does smaller experiments to figure out how it works (this is one of my fnaf theories specifically around William's relationship to Remnant)
All the discourse about Remnant is actually what inspired the Radiation thing. Everyone, everywhere, was losing their minds over the insanity that is Remnant and I had a throwaway thought about how we've seen all this in fiction where Radiation is the given cause: the mutates in every Fallout game ever and the TV show, Spiderman, The Hulk, Corpse Mikey would fit right in in the Fallout-verse, etc. All fnaf does is take all of those concepts and shove them into one place and I love that. The only thing it doesn't do is bring you back to life and I think that's because you need internal organs for that. Mike lost his organs but not his brain so Remnant kept brain activity going.
The bucket thing did happen. It wasn't a bucket thought. It was one of those plain lunch boxes. He had one already but, he bought an extra to store the Remnant in. Long story short, it's early morning, and he's practically brain-dead as he gets ready for school so he grabs one of the lunch boxes without. Lunch in the cafeteria was legendary that day. The lunch box screeched, and he made up a half-lie about trying to invent a musical lunch box but grabbing the wrong one. He invented an actual musical lunch box that was fairly popular in UK for a while.
Yes! Funny enough Radiated materials are the only things Remnant can't meld itself to. He could never figure out why but, William's not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. He bought and repurposed multiple microwaves to act as radiated containers.
By the time they get to the house Gregory and Nessa are 10 and 14 respectively so she does tell them, they're also Geniuses ala Afton Genetics and they're also Peak Gremlins™️ so they'd find out anyway.
Everyone knows Michael Afton(legal name Mike Schmidt) as a Missing Person's case that's gone unsolved for decades by this point. The footage of him getting scooped was scrubbed as was his being worn like a meat suit. But there is footage of 'Mike' forcing himself up and to the Elevator. His organs were all gone by the time the Police got there but the blood muscle and other bodily fluids were still there. It's believed that Mike was lured to the scooping room through abuse and manipulation a fact further compounded by the bodies of the technicians being found hanging by police.
The general belief is that he died out in the wilderness but, his body was never found hence the Missing Presumed Dead thing. This all happened in 1986 when he was 17. Afton Robotics and Fazent shut down Circus Baby's officially and stopped renting out the Funtimes after this because they weren't fast enough to cover it up like with the Missing Children's Incident and the Bite of '83. And so began the downfall of Fazbear Entertainment and Afton Robotics.
So yeah, the scoop happened here, and since Remnant works with what's already there and Mike's practically made of the stuff because he grew up eating it, his sperm was kept intact ala Remnant(I mean he didn't lose his penis to the scoop.)
As for the name. I was watching the sandlot when I came up with it. (His middle name is Garret) I'm glad you like it.
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o-uncle-newt · 10 months
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Cabin Pressure Advent Day 16: Paris
PAAAAAARRRRRRIIIISSSS!
There are not words for how much I love this episode, there really aren't. I actually listened to it early this morning because I was so excited, and then had to deal with a difficult personal situation and was like "oh dang I wish I hadn't listened to it yet so I could cheer up from it now!" But I had, so I listened to Hot Desk (from Double Acts) instead. Also very effective.
Anyway- I love everything about this episode, because I LOVE Golden Age mysteries! I'm not super well read on all the different authors, but I've had a lot of fun over the years reading Conan Doyle (and Poe and Wilkie Collins, if we're going that far back), Chesterton, Christie, and more recently Sayers, and even more recently have read a smattering as well of John Dickson Carr, Margery Allingham, Anthony Berkeley, and a bunch of others. To digress a little, I highly highly recommend Martin Edwards's excellent book The Golden Age of Murder and his wonderful short-story anthology compilations and reprints- it really got me on a kick of trying to read a bit more broadly in the genre after discovering how much I loved reading a few specific authors growing up. It's been really rewarding and I highly recommend it!
Now, the thing with Paris is that the popular backstory is "John Finnemore had Benedict Cumberbatch on the show, he became famous as Sherlock on Sherlock, Finnemore thought it would be funny to do a mystery themed one as a result, and so we have Marin Crieff as "Miss Marple." Which is apparently not UNtrue per se, but JF himself has said that he always planned to do a mystery episode. Which makes sense, as in the first link just now JF makes clear that Golden Age mysteries are his "trashy fiction of choice," about which I can only say amen!
Which is what makes the episode so great- because it's super clear what kind of love for the genre he put into the episode as a result. There's the Christie- obviously the Miss Marple references but also the "gathering everyone together in the parlor" thing (which she doesn't do ALL the time... but she does PRETTY often lol). There's obviously the Conan Doyle reference, which is "snappily put," as Douglas says. There's a fun reference to Raffles- who may not be a detective himself but is definitely a cousin to the whodunnit genre (or shall we say brother-in-law, as he was Conan Doyle's...), and there's "Crieff of the Yard," which is a phrase that I'm confident has a basis in detective writing but that I'm not able to pinpoint, which is annoying. Arthur's example of the monkey at the circus also evokes a few stories of MASSIVELY varying quality involving unlikely murderous animals, which is always fun. (And parenthetically, while there are no Sayers references that I can find, I will say that I continue to be confident that the dog-collar plotline in Here's What We Do from Double Acts is a reference to the dog-collar plotline in Gaudy Night. He has never confirmed it but like, how could it not be? Or at least so I tell myself.)
But all of that is window dressing- the episode itself is a beautifully written impossible crime mystery, and I love that about it. JF has mentioned that he likes John Dickson Carr, who was big for locked room mysteries/impossible crimes- though loads of writers wrote them (including, incidentally, AA Milne, who you likely know better from Winnie the Pooh, who wrote a fun early example of the genre that you can read here for free because of that magical phenomenon, copyright expiration). And this episode is just such a good example of one that it makes me wish that JF would get into the whodunnit-writing game more broadly (beyond his Cain's Jawbone sequel). If Richard Osman can do it...!
In one of the above-linked blogposts, JF mentions that it's "pleasing how naturally my main cast fitted into familiar roles from the detective fiction genre - the meticulous detective, his devoted assistant, his no nonsense boss… and his nemesis, the Napoleon of crime." Which is awesome, but I think there's even more there. I particularly love that it's an impossible crime mystery in a closed circle. While there's a genre of whodunnit where you have the corpse or whatever and have to cast a wide net to find witnesses and clues, writers there often either have to make the potential dead ends in the detective work REALLY interesting or rely a lot on coincidence. Closed circle crimes (like ones at a country house or within a workplace or somewhere with guards at all the doors or something like that) can help mystery writers focus in on the story without having to worry too much about the logistics of "why these people?" and it's why you get so many mysteries set on trains or ships or islands or whatever. And an airplane is one of the best closed circles there is, because unless you're DB Cooper you're not getting out. Agatha Christie did an early one in Death in the Clouds which is a lot of fun, and this episode is a great example.
The fun thing about closed circle whodunnits and impossible crime mysteries is that the whole point of them is that usually, the author is just straight up lying to you. There's a vent for a snake to go through, or a secret doorway to the outside, or the time when the door was locked or the circle was closed isn't actually when the crime took place, but a fake gunshot makes you think it was. And that's why I love this so much- because the author/liar of the mystery is Douglas. He's the genre savvy one. He's the one who's lying, he's the one who's turning it all into a whodunnit, and he's waiting to see if he can get away with it. He's the Napoleon of Crime- and a Columbo villain setting up the false trail that he hopes Columbo will fall for.
Because... and JF notes this in both blog posts... there's no mystery here! Obviously Douglas did it. The point here is that this episode is like if Columbo was as dumb as he seemed and the criminal managed to lead him down the garden path and got away with it. It's "what if Poirot were a moron but still had to solve the murder of Roger Ackroyd." Douglas is the one who creates an impossible crime scheme, anticipates that he'll still be suspected because, well, he's him, and manages to come up with alternative scenarios- including ones that open the seemingly closed circle of the crime- that are convincing enough to throw Martin off the scent. Without him, it would just be "so how did Douglas do it this time?"
Now, the impossible crime is still important, because while we all kind of know that Douglas did it, we still don't know how he did it. And from that perspective alone, JF's impossible crime puzzle is genius. The clues that he drops are really interesting (I'm not 100% sure I see the nail polish bottle as being fair play, but plenty of whodunnits aren't so I don't really care) and it's something that, even as we see Douglas writing a whole separate decoy mystery (reminiscent of his decoy apple juice?) on top of his own scheme, keeps us intrigued throughout even once it becomes pretty clear that Douglas has been snowing all of them. So all of that is fun- but it's far more fun with all the other tropes and schemes and false trails laid on top of it, giving it so many more dimensions.
And then, at the end, nobody solves it- the detective's reveal, after all the carefully left false trails, comes from the thief himself.
It's just... so beautiful. Ahhhh.
I feel like (and one of the blog posts mentions this) that there's a question of whether Douglas actually pulled it off, particularly in the context of whether Martin would really need to pay Carolyn at the end. My opinion is: practically, yes, Douglas stole the whiskey. If Birling hadn't offered them the cufflinks, he'd never have revealed his trick and he'd have had ample opportunity the rest of the trip to empty his decoy apple juice in the sink, replace it with whiskey, and fill up the bottle with cheap whiskey from the plane's bar or the Paris airport duty free. (Or whatever his plan was- but that seems plausible.) Carolyn would have never known once they returned. And the episode leaves open whether practically speaking Martin actually does have to pay Carolyn, but thematically... yes, of course he does, the whole question here is "is Douglas the organ grinder" and the answer is that he obviously is. The monkey's gotta pay up!
I love, incidentally, so many more things about this episode- the humor, Mr Birling, the ways in which everything is so true to character, basically everything about Arthur... but I've already gone on long enough.
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theunrealinsomniac · 1 year
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As you know, I'm not familiar with your NaruSaku kid OCs. Character and design-wise, how do you imagine them being different from the more famous fankids, Shinachiku, Hanami, and Arashi?
In fairness D, I don't think anyone other than me is actually familiar with my NS kids lol, but I gather your meaning lol.
Okay, let's be clear first and foremost cos I have run into this problem before and I don't want anyone to misunderstand me when I say something in a moment.
I have no ill will against Shinachiku, Hanami and/or Arashi. I've just been here a long time and the NS kids I came up with have been knocking around my noodle for a lot longer than Shinachiku has ever even existed. I have my own, I'm not dropping them for anyone or anything. I'm also not co-opting them and merging my characters with them either. I patently refuse.
It's rude you know?
Cool? Cool.
As for differences beyond the obvious, there's four of my kids, they look different slightly, well you'll have to tell me, I don't know too much about them outside of the bits and pieces I've gleaned from other fic and art.
I strongly suspect the biggest difference is less to do with the kids and more to do with the differences between my Naruto and the Naruto we typically see in stuff about Shina et al.
We are made who we are by the people who raise us, no matter how much we may fight against it as adults, we are the people who came out of our parents/guardians parenting. For good or ill, we are all reactions to our parents, so if my Naruto is different to everyone who writes Naruto for Shina etc ... well I'll have different kids.
I very much get a bumbling sitcom dad/fourth child vibe from Shina and his siblings' dad. And that's fine, it's a perfectly fun and popular take on how Naruto would be as an adult and parent.
I just ... disagree.
I think this comes slightly from two key differences between me and the majority of fanfic writers still knocking around in the NaruSaku sphere.
I'm a man.
I'm a father.
So I have a distinctly unique perspective on fatherhood to most of the people writing Naruto as a dad for NaruSaku. Not a better one to be clear, just a different one.
And because of this, any particular differences between Shina, Hanami and Arashi with my four kids, Sachi, Ichika, Yuuto and Akihiko ... would be kinda like comparing apples and oranges to be honest.
So what I'm going to do instead is just describe the four of them as just them. And you'll have to tell me if that's like Shina etc or not like them.
I do actually have a post where I detail my kids a bit but I was a bit lackadaisical on physical descriptions. So this post will focus on that and I will link the other post with more of their personalities here.
Now, let's start with the appearance of the eldest Uzumaki child.
Sachi Uzumaki
Sachi is our eldest, she's got pink hair a couple shades darker than her mum, eyes just a little lighter blue than her dad and her face is mostly a perfect mix of both her parents, except for the grin. She's got her dad's grin and mouth. Her hair has been all sorts of length but as she settles into teens and active ninja duty, it is cut just a little longer than Sakura's was for most of the story.
When she hits her full height she stands at 5 foot 7, has a generally toned physique like most ninja and kunoichi do with one key exception. Sachi Uzumaki's arms are jacked. Girls got guns and knows how to use them lol. Think an Olympic swimmer for reference but not quite as bulky.
As for clothes, she typically dresses for action, she's what we who grew up in the 90s and early 00s would call a tomboy. There's a general mixing of colours, Sachi is very comfortable being the centre of attention and her clothing reflects this. While she's never gone out wearing full orange or anything like her dad, she has been known to walk around wearing some of Naruto's old jackets.
She does love a good pair of combat boots, the laces normally being fluorescent colours. Sachi's go to look from about the age of fourteen was an oversized top of some primary colour, normally blue, light grey trousers like the ninja uniform and sometimes Naruto's old jacket, sometimes a black leather jacket with the Uzumaki and Haruno symbol, which Naruto and Sakura made once they got married and merged their clans, yes I like this idea too, I'm sure it's also all over the other fankids lol, she wears her headband over her forehead to keep her hair out of her face and because she won't shy away from headbutting people with it.
Ichika Uzumaki
Ichika, Ichi to the family, is Naruto and Sakura's second daughter, sometimes their second or third child depending on the story.
She typically keeps her blonde hair long, think Kushina's lengths for the most part, but the style changes from braids to long flowing locks depending on her mood. She has the same shape and shade of green eyes as Sakura and like all of her siblings, Naruto's grin and mouth. But aside from her mouth it's all Haruno all the way down, you could see Ichika from a mile away and pick her out as basically a blonde Haruno.
She's very lithe to contrast her more muscular sister, if Sachi has a swimmer's body, Ichika has a gymnast's. She's also a few inches shorter than her sister and when all four of the kids are adults, she's the shortest of the bunch at 5 foot 3.
In yet another contrast to her big sister, Ichika is decidedly more traditionally feminine in her attire, favouring pinks and baby blues in her clothing. She's also more inclined to dresses and skirts. She loves summer because it's an excuse to wear sundresses and she loves a good sundress.
It does contrast to what she wears when on mission or training, she favours more form-fitting and close clothing in that scenario and her go to ninja gear is basically the typical uniform but with leggings and turtleneck under her eventual Chunin and Jonin vests. She wears her headband like a belt buckle.
Yuuto Uzumaki
Yuuto, Yuu to the family, is their first son, normally their third child, sometimes second.
He's a dead ringer for child!Naruto. If it weren't for his hair being less spiky and more flowing, think Minato basically, and his eyes being a couple shades lighter green than Sakura's you wouldn't be able to pick out which was five year old Naruto and five year old Yuuto. It's uncanny.
That is until he hits puberty, and his hair gets longer and his face more angular and it's like looking at Minato Namikaze's face on Hokage Mountain come to life. He styles his hair differently but if Sachi is a blend of Uzumaki and Haruno and Ichika is a Haruno ... Yuuto is a Namikaze. At least in the face. Body wise he's basically the same as Naruto, muscular in an agile way with a bit more bulk than his dad and standing at a full 6 foot, the same height as his dad. I don't care if he's actually 5 foot 10 in canon, it's my world now lol.
Yuuto wears as much black as he can as well. It's actually somewhat comical to see the flash of colour at the top of him, blond hair and a dark red headband over his forehead, and then just all black. Black dress shirt open at the second button and untucked, black jeans and black boots. If it didn't suit him so well, he'd get made fun of viciously by his siblings.
He forgoes the Chunin and Jonin uniform unless he's directly ordered to or it's a formal occasion and in fairness to the boy ... it does look weird on him.
Honestly, he looks a bit like a stylish super saiyan lol.
Akihiko Uzumaki
And last but not least, Akihiko. Aki or Koko to his family, I will let you guess who calls him what, but let's just say only Sachi gets away with calling him one of them.
Anyway, Akihiko has dark pink hair, which almost darkens to a very, very light red when he hits early adulthood. He keeps it shorter than the rest of his family, not buzzcut short or anything but no longer than the bottom of his ears. It's still a mess of hair though, no sign of mousse or hair gel lol. As an older man he even grows a beard.
He's the child who most resembles Sakura facially, including the forehead. But his eyes are a glorious merge of blue and green. Honestly they're quite astounding to look at. And of course he has Naruto's mouth and that damn grin.
He's a bit shorter than his brother and father, coming in at 5 foot 11 when he stands up straight and 5 foot 10 when he slouches, which is often. And he is very lanky, he's the least muscular of his family and that actually makes him look taller than he is because of how willowy he is.
Clothing wise, I dunno how to really put it, he dresses normally? Akihiko basically dresses to blend in, he doesn't stand out and he'd really rather you didn't look at him too long. Lots of earth tones and dulled colours. His headband is the brightest thing, and he ties it around his upper left arm on a flash of pink cloth.
And that's basically it for now. I hope this was worth the wait and let me just remind everyone that my takes on Naruto and his kids are just that, mine.
I have nothing but respect for people who use Shinachiku, Hanami and Arashi as their NS kids, but maybe now you've learned a bit about mine ... you'll see why I'm so attached to them. And I hope you look forward to reading the future stories I have about my Uzumaki family.
Ta ra!
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madsdefencesquad · 3 years
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another kevison fanfic none of you asked for (also on ao3):
[Thread] Who's the nicest celeb you've met in real life?
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Kevin Pearson. Was an extra for one of his movies and couldn’t be any nicer. Chatted with us even though technically you weren’t supposed to. He joked around a lot and showed us pics of his family. Real top bloke.
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I met this guy once on vacation in Italy. We were at a table next to him and my newborn was screaming bloody murder, mom was in the bathroom. Couldn’t quite calm my son and I was getting real embarrassed with the loud noise. Some of the waiters came over to their table to ask if they wanted to move but Kevin shut them down immediately. Actually got a bit cross that they even suggested it. His wife suggested to rock my baby on the side to make him stop and he did! She knows a few tricks having twins and stuff. Also shared that joy/misery thing of being first time parents. Anyway, they left first (they got there earlier) and we learned after that they paid for our meals too. Couldn’t believe it.
replied: Wow. That’s the so fucking nice of them.
replied: Yeah made my wife cry haha
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I’ve heard only good things about him too! My mom lives in Philly and his brother was running for city council a few years back and he was there and took photos with all the Korean mamas including my own and my grandma! apparently he smells really expensive :P
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Didn’t know that I was fully chatting up his wife at Starbucks until I saw a pic of them at the premiere for one of his movies. I’d be embarrassed by my god she was fantastic! 10/10 would’ve gone for it if I wasnt such a potato
replied: And wasn’t married.
replied: That too
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My daughter was an extra on one of his movies and says he’s the nicest guy and “such a dad” lol! And her dad’s a real “dad” dad so for her to say that about a famous actor is funny
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I used to teach his kids in my kindergarten class. Daughter’s wicked smart. I can tell you all the mothers would have a fit every time he’d come by to pick them up and if it’s not his wife or them together, it’s him. Very hands on. I’d say that counts for nice.
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Rocked out to a Lady Gaga show with him and his wife in Vegas. His wife and I are practically best friends now! We’re on first name basis ;)
replied: Sounds fun! What were they there for if you don’t mind me asking? Coz isn’t he like sober now?
replied to a reply: I think it was for a niece’s birthday or something? Couldn’t remember, was pretty wild night :P And I didn’t see any drinks.Even his wife wasn’t drinking I think? They were literally there to enjoy Gaga like the rest of us
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I love hearing stories about him like this because it always looks like he’s such a pretentious pretty boy jerk especially back in the day
replied: Getting your life sorted can change a man
replied to a reply: Yeah he’s pretty mellowed out since getting sober. He’s had that DUI and rehab stint but now he’s a real family man and seems to love his wife very much. Good for him.
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Doesn’t he remind you of George Clooney? Got married late and had boy girl twins and is loving life!
replied: True!!
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Not sure if everybody knows but his wife Madison is pretty big in the interior design space especially coz she like pretty much runs their fam construction business. I follow her on Insta and I know everyone has a crush on Kevin but I’d pick her over him any day!
replied: OMG YES SAME! She puts together these amazing DIY palettes and I’m obsessed! I’d also pick her over him any day even just to pick her brain
replied to a reply: She also recommends the best books!!!
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My mom’s in the planning side of construction and met his wife in West Chester. She did a presentation and afterwards her and my mom shared parenting tips like they’re in some mom club. Apparently she was the sweetest and her babies are adorable and also Kevin calls a lot lol
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Met him at the airport, wife’s a huge fan of the manny so sucked my gut to ask for a pic. When he found out it’s for the missus, he recorded a special vid saying his iconic line. Missus was over the moon. Real good fella
replied: MANNY SAY WHAAATTTTT
replied: That’s so nice
replied: He did for my mom as well! All the moms love him!
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Kevin Pearson helped re-build my grandparents’ burned down convenience store. Couldn’t thank him enough even if I tried
replied: Wow, that’s real generous. How are the grandparents?
replied to a reply: Thanks! They’re over the moon. They have a house near the area but gran said he’d come by with his kids from time to time. Even if gran didn’t want to, they always insisted to pay for whatever the kids wanted.
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Delivered the cake for his uncle (grandpa’s?) wedding and he gave a seriously generous tip. Oh and his wife packed me pigs in the blanket.
replied: Pigs in the blanket?! What in the middle school
replied: Apparently it was the uncle/grandad’s favorite or something and they double ordered. But who cares free food!
replied to a reply: Did it come with ketchup?
replied to a reply: Hot, wrapped in foil and handful of ketchup packets. I felt like one of the kids
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Not him but his brother who’s like a big shot in politics right now. Real top guy and had the best laugh
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This doesn’t sound real but I’ve bumped into him literally five times over the past year he’ll probably think I’m some stalker. Rarely saw him without his family and once his kid threw a ball at me. He apologised but c’mon you either throw a ball or bounce it no big deal. Besides, that kid has David Beckham’s kids manners. Real like English folk polite it’s insane
replied: That’s always nice to hear that celebrity kids aren’t spoiled brats. We know a few good of them are
replied to a reply: Celebrity kids are different from kid celebrities though
replied to a reply: Didn’t say they were the same? Just saying that for a kid of someone so rich and famous you’d think they’d be a bit more spoiled but they weren’t at all and was beyond respectful and that’s a testament to the parents.
replied to a reply: Agree. I’ve met this particular celebrity’s kids and mind you they’re teens now but god they were just awful and pretentious. Even more than their famous parent which is saying something
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Not him but I did meet that actress that was so embarrassingly flirty around him during the press conference of hat film he did a few years back. She’s a real bitch and so fake and I’m so glad she’s been dropped from the sequel
replied: Oh god yeah I remember her. She was so obnoxious laughing at everything he said like stfu it’s not that funny!!!! The secondhand embarrassment watching her and him being all polite about it *chills*
replied: She’s the worst. No talent
replied to a reply: I was an extra for some scenes in that movie and she was WAY worse and such a diva for someone unknown. Kevin’s a real nice guy though and just let her be. He talks about his wife and kids a lot but she would not take a hint!
replied to a reply: That is just embarrassing
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Alright story time. Was working as a barista at a cafe and it was one of those really shitty days. He came in, ordered and waited and was all nice and took some pics with fans. Anyway, like I said shitty day so I mixed up his coffee order and got him two lattes instead of cappuccinos. Mind you, it was a busy asf day as well and I was the only one making coffees. He comes over and tells me and I apologise but by this time my manager’s already all up on my ass for serving Kevin Pearson incorrectly. He kept apologising to him and berating me till Kevin himself stepped in and told the manager off. But like calmly and stuff like it’s no big deal and people make mistakes whatever and I kid you fucking not he apologised to me too and said I was doing a good job. He probably won’t know how much that meant to me after an already shitty as day but it did. I made sure to make him the best fucking cappuccinos
replied: I’ve met him in irl too and he is this!
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I saw him sitting at a cafe with his daughter. Super nice. Asked him if I could get an autograph for my mom who’s a huge fan. He asked me some questions about her and wrote a really nice autograph, for her. His daughter stuck one of her stickers on there too and my mom loved that even more. I told him where she works (at a grocers) and he went out of his way to shop there the next day and made a point to look for her and chat. Great, great dude
replied: That is so fucking cool man. And your mom must’ve been so happy!
replied to a reply: She was over the moon! She loves his wife too! Apparently she was even chattier than Kevin haha
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Met him at the airport. I was an employee and he had some TSA questions. Genuinely nice and friendly, chatted for about 15min. After he was set, we shook hands, he had his kids say thank you individually with a high five. Adorable. His wife was super nice and friendly too. Very good social interaction, would participate again
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who-am-i-no-one · 4 years
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Emma. (2020)
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I watched this movie in late January. After multiple viewings and re-reading the book, I have a lot of thoughts about this adaptation.
It seems rather strange, given that Emma is part of my holy trinity of Austen novels, that I didn't watched the most recent adaptation earlier. I think it was mostly due to my initial impression that Anya Taylor-Joy's otherworldly looks didn't quite match what I had in mind for the titular character. I decided to give this version a try after watching Queen's Gambit. Not sure that Anya's looks will ever grow on me, but she did impress me as a young actress who seemed to have a maturity beyond her years.
Long story short: really wished I had seen this movie earlier! It is absurd and heartfelt at the same time, imo, the version that best imbues Austen's humor. It is now my favorite adaption, with the possible exception of Clueless, and I'm not quite sure how much of that is just nostalgia.
From the casting to the direction to the script to the costumes to the set to the soundtrack, I could tell the creative team really put a lot of love into this project. It's always a joy to watch something that's made with love and made well.
Direction
Autumn de Wilde's directing is quite good. I would never have thought this was her first feature. She certainly has a unique and colorful style, which is probably to be expected for such a famous photographer.
Funnily, while watching the movie I kept thinking it reminded me of early Hollywood romantic comedies like Bringing Up Baby (incidentally one of my favorites) or The Philadelphia Story, and then reading interviews and seeing that she had tried to bring in some of that style of humor made me feel rather validated. Also the servants' reactions were awesome!
Absolutely loved the fact that they decided to show that Knightley and Emma were in love with each other very early on in the story, with Knightley more aware of it. I've read some people complaining about the surprise of Emma's being in love being ruined. But come on, did anyone reading two chapters into the book think it wasn't going to be the two of them together in the end?
Loved how much of Knightley's point of view we got in this movie. This is one repressed pinning man. I can totally see this Knightley riding ventre a terre from London in the rain because he thought Emma was heartbroken.
The only gripe I had was the lack of Frank and Jane's subplot. As it seems they shot some scenes for that, I assume it was the director's discretion to take them out. I remember thinking while watching the movie that they must have expected the audience to be familiar with the story because some things just didn't really get explained or extrapolated on a lot. If you hadn't read the book it'd be 30 minutes or more into the movie before you put two and two together and figured out why Mr. Knightley is always at Hartfield.
Script
The script takes most of the dialogue directly from the book, which is awesome. I love Austen's writing because there is a certain musicality to it and retaining that in large part for the movie really made it better for me. The deftness with which Eleanor Catton moved dialogue from one scene in the book to a totally different one in the movie was quite brilliant. Everything flowed so well.
The scenes that differed from the book were also excellent - namely, I really loved the Jane/Knightley duet, the infamous nosebleed and first kiss scenes. 💖 I thought the screenwriter used those changes to quickly establish plot points and character arcs well.
Costume/Hair
Not a Recency expert so can't say much about the costumes and hair as far as period correctness but from reading other reviews it seemed like they were very true to the period. Obviously appreciated them taking the time to show the audience how men got dressed in that time (purely for research purposes obviously 😜).
Emma's dresses were all quite beautiful. I especially loved the black evening dress, the pink one with the roses and the proposal dress. Also loved the little pop of red shoes that went with the proposal dress. As someone who wore red shoes with her wedding gown I heartily approve.
Absolutely loved how Emma's curls unwound as her life unravels. Similarly think they must have done the same for Knightley to a lesser extent. His hair during the card playing scene at the Westons was quite terrible.
Set
I! Loved! Hartfield! It looked just like a doll house. Really most of the sets looked good enough to eat. So much pastel. Reminded me of French macarons.
I liked how everything in Donwell Abbey was shrouded in Holland covers. Makes a good point that Knightley barely lives there at all, that his home has been with the Woodhouses for quite a while now. Which, of course, makes his sacrifice at the end just a little bit less of a sacrifice?
Soundtrack
Isabella Waller-Bridge's music really meshed well with the tone of the entire film. The male and female opera singers, sometimes sounding as if they are bickering with each other and other times seeming to be in duet, was a brilliant touch. The folk music was a little jarring at first but really grew on me.
Johnny Flynn's end credits song "Queen Bee" is amazing. I love that we get Knightley's perspective at the end with a song written and sung by Knightley. It's a lovely coda to the movie. And now, if the next Austen hero doesn't write one for his SO I'm going to think him a very poor sort of lover.
Cast
Anya's Emma was really great. I'm glad they allowed Emma to be her bitchy self. Lol. I haven't watched the 1996 and 2009 versions in a while but I distinctly remember them making Emma too nice. I recall writing after watching the Garai version that Emma was actually mean and they should have let her be mean! If she's not a brat in the beginning, how will we see her change for the better later on? I love what a snob and how manipulative this Emma was and so assured of her place in her little society but still had the vulnerability of almost an imposter's syndrome which I feel most people can relate to.
Her chemistry with Johnny Flynn's Knightley was off the charts. Pretty much every scene they had together I half expected them to reenact the library scene from Atonement lol.
Mia Goth was a wonderful Harriet. She really captured Harriet's inexperience, naivete and diffidence. The orgasmic sounds she was making during the gypsies attack scene were awesome. Although, I could probably have forgone a few of Harriet's scenes for more Frank and Jane.
Not sure why they made Mia go brunette since the book specifically mentioned Harriet was fair? Perhaps having all three leads as blondes was just a bit too much. I'm also not sure if I liked Harriet's ending as I really don't think Emma, even in her most contrite mood, would invite further friendship from a tradesman's daughter and soon-to-be her husband's tenant farmer's wife. This seems a piece of modern day wishful thinking on the part of the creative team.
Bill Nighy was so good as Mr. Woodhouse. He made it so believable why everyone would do everything in their power to accommodate his whims. The gag with the screens was too funny. He was able to sketch out a lonely quirky old man who is afraid to lose those close to him in very limited screen time. Absolutely loved the scene where Emma was heaping blame on herself and he just sat with her in sympathetic silence.
Miranda Hart's Miss Bates was excellent as well. She has long been one of my favorite British comedic actresses but she can also do drama well. Her reaction to Emma's teasing on Box Hill and her forgiveness of Emma later brought me to tears.
Josh O'Connor's Mr. Elton was deliciously creepy. The carriage proposal scene was at once a little scary and hilarious. I actually liked the portrait scenes a little less because I found the acting there slightly affected and veering into 1995 Mr. Collins territory. But as Austen described Elton as having "a sort of parade in his speeches", this was much more forgivable. Really loved Mr. Elton's determination to eat cake during the Eltons' visit to Hartfield.
Tanya Reynolds was an excellent Mrs. Elton and in very little screen time was able to bring to life this meddlesome nouveau riche. Adored her little shimmy during the ball.
Amber Anderson's Jane really looked as if she were in a decline. Callum Turner did a good job as a slightly restless, mischievous and immature Frank Churchill. I did feel his looks were a bit too modern but that's just my personal view.
Given how many scenes they had I thought they used the time they had pretty well with furtive glances and sly smiles at each other to establish the relationship.
Connor Swindells was such a love sick puppy as Robert Martin. Did this role ever get cast in other adaptations? I don't seem to recall at all.
Special shoutout to Oliver Chris's John Knightley. Absolutely had me in stitches.
And last but never the least, Johnny Flynn's Mr. Knightley:
To preface, I will never not fall for Mr. Knightley in any version that I watch. And really, get yourself a good looking enough actor with good enough chemistry with Emma and good enough acting chops and you should have a fairly successful Knightley.
I judge all my Knightleys by the Box Hill scene. And up to that point in the movie, I really liked Johnny Flynn's Knightley. He was playful and sexy and jealous and slightly bitchy as well. The duet scene was lovely because I always appreciate a man who can play instruments and sing well. The sexiness and chemistry of the dance scene was off the charts. That's all well and good. And like I said before, given any well cast actor, I probably would have liked them in those scenes as well, just as I've liked Northam's and Miller's Knightleys.
But, the Box Hill scene absolutely blew me away. To make sure I was not just biased towards the last Knightley I saw on screen, I did go back and compare each version's Box Hill scene and I am, actually, even more blown away. Some of it is a credit to the directing and script, but a large part of it is Johnny Flynn's acting in that scene.
As far a script and directing, the set up to the fight scene was fantastic. Loved Anya's expression changes after she makes the joke. Loved Miranda Hart's Miss Bates as she realizes what Emma meant. The silence that followed. Knightley's shocked face and how sympathetic he was to Miss Bates. Can probably write a whole thing just about this scene alone.
I loved the fact that Knightley had an internal struggle as to whether or not to approach Emma and reproach her for her behavior. I know the book has him tell Emma about his struggle but that just doesn't work as well for me on screen.
During the scene you can just tell how frustrated and disappointed in her he is even though he tries to keep his voice low. But the way he reprimands her does not at all feel lecture-y and I feel like part of it is because it seems like he starts to lose control a little bit as well. His voice starts to crescendo as she stubbornly refuses to admit she was in the wrong and culminates in "badly done, indeed!" with actual fingerpointing. Yikes.
Then he losses steam and looked regretful, almost devastatingly so, at his own outburst and perhaps felt that he was losing her by giving this speech and looked as if he would have said something more - an apology or some words of comfort to soften the blow? - but didn't.
This remorse and the struggle at the beginning really bookended the scene for me.
Absolutely loved his Knightley, and, really, him as an actor after that.
The proposal scene as well was very good. His delivery was just really good. The way he said "If I loved you less then I might be able to talk about it more." with some regret and then closing his eyes as if he can't believe what he just said. Soooo good. Also, he cries very pretty, lol.
The delivery of the three "yes" during the kiss scene as Emma asked for confirmation that he really was ok with giving up his house to come live with them was also brilliant. It just kept getting softer and softer but he never breaks eye contact. Absolute chef's kiss. His closed eyed little smile of content after Emma kisses him just made me melt into a puddle.
Yup, overall I'd say I rather liked his interpretation of Mr. George Knightley. 😜
I did wish they hadn't giving him such sideburns but after watching some Emma interviews I can totally understand. If he didn't have the sideburns there'd be more complaints about how young this Knightley was. He's got such a baby face.
...I seemed to have written an entire essay on this movie...yeah, I just have a lot of feelings and thoughts about this version...
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thatpinkbetch · 4 years
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Bkdk Fic Rec
I’ve been inspired to write a fic rec! This one goes out to you @lonely-rabbit
At like, the end of 2018 and the beginning of 2019 I stayed up until 4am every night reading fics, and because I’m such a loser, I made a word doc to keep track of all of them so I wouldn’t forget them.... I tried organizing it by length but it got messy cause I’m ridiculous and cluttered, so sorry! (I’ll save my own for the end alskdjflsdkfj gotta self promote you know). This is going to get...really long, so I’ll put it under a read more! Also, just a heads up, these are all on ao3, in case that’s important to anyone!
Disclaimer: Any fics with mature or explicit content I will add a bolded warning for, even if it’s only a little bit. Normally most fics will be tagged as such, but some fics that are rated as teen I’ve found to be more suggestive than some of those rated as mature, so I will try to point it out where it feels necessary, for anyone who wishes to avoid it.
Fics under 1k:
Illuminate by TheQueen (269 words)
Summary: Bakugou watches the first firework launch and fights to keep his face neutral
Very short, plot is about a case of amnesia, also very cute and well written for that length! Not angsty at all imo
sweaty hands holding secrets - shounentwink (563 words)
Summary: Someone said Midoriya holds secrets in his hair.
It’s not true: He holds it tightly in his hands. Bakugou’s seen it.
I really like this writer! You’ll see quite a bit of them in this post alkdsjfalskdjf
Fics 1k - 10k:
Many sunflowers later - Jeka (2395 words)
Summary: Scholar Midoriya Izuku comes back to the person he left behind after his journey through the kingdom, the mighty dragon clan leader Bakugou Katsuki.
Day 1 of Twin Stars Week 2020: Fantasy AU.
First of all, fantasy au!!! Second of all, jeka!!! (I need to read more of your stuff!!) Anyways, so cute, such lovely, pretty writing, wonderful story telling, and they’re so in love TT_TT
Boom Badoom Boom - warschach (3429 words)
Summary: Izuku's working the kissing booth at the school fair, it just so happens Katsuki has been crushing on him since the first grade.
“Did you—“ Izuku parted his mouth with no sound leaving it, “Did you pay?”
“Yea.”
“For a kiss?”
This one’s a little silly but I love it still. It’s got a “kids in the 80′s over summer vacation” vibe, I think. I love warschach! I should read more of their writing... They have SUCH good bakudeku content! *It’s rated teen but there’s some suggestive content, just a heads up!
Hopeless Ramen-tic - lalazee (7155 words)
Summary:  Midoriya is a cute guy who works at a ramen stall and Bakugou is thirsty as hell, but has to hide it by being an asshat. Another love story.
Ah, so good TT_TT so much sass, such good plot development and story telling for a simple concept *It’s rated as teen but again, it can be suggestive at times!
I’ll share this with you, so leave it behind - yabakuboi (3508 words)
Suammry: For the sake of the story, All Might is never in need of a successor, and, when Izuku saves Katsuki from the sludge monster, encourages young Midoriya down a different path. Thus, Katsuki and Izuku part ways after junior high, as Katsuki enters U.A. and the Midoriyas move overseas. It’s later that Katsuki realizes that there’s something missing, that he drove that something away.
Years after, Katsuki finds him in the last place he looks, in the cereal aisle at the local grocery store of their childhood neighborhood.
So soft, so sweet, so good if you just want to curl up in a comfy blanket and drink hot cocoa and feel warm and cozy and a little in love
The Secret Deku Box - yabakuboi (2241 words)
Summary: “Y’know, Bakugou never, ever talks about girls,” Kaminari says, his voice thoughtful.
“And I wonder why that is.” Ashido rolls her eyes.
“I’m just curious!” Kaminari whines. Kirishima drags the box out, unlabeled and unassuming, the lid not even fully clasped over the edges. “The guy has to— Whoa, what’s that?”
Kirishima realizes a little belatedly that this is a serious breach of privacy, and Bakugou will actually murder all of them. “Nothing!” he cries, attempting to shove it back under the bed, but Ashido snatches it away.
“Please be his porn stash!” Kaminari whispers as she whips the lid off.
Cute, funny, in canon, in character, and a must read I would say! 
daisy bunches and heather branches - halcyonwhispers (5862 words)
Summary:  izuku falls in love with the foul-mouthed tattoo artist next door.
Not another flower/tattoo shop au.... aldskjflaskdjfd Okay but punk!Bakugou is ALWAYS a smart move imo
the best part of me (is the worst I can give) - halcyonwhispers (5668)
Summary: Whole sentences usually make up people’s Words, but Katsuki got stuck with a name instead.
Izuku’s name.
I am such a sucker for soulmate aus when it comes to these boys TT_TT *There is some mature content, just a heads up!
Hard to Say - halcyonwhispers (8390 words)
Summary: Izuku is a Halfling, born after his faerie father spirited away his mom and then left her behind. Never quite fitting in with the humans or any of the supernatural beings in his small town, Izuku hoped that going to a diverse college in the big city will help him finally make friends.
Katsuki’s family has been powerful witches for generations, and he’s no different. Talented and a proclaimed genius to boot, he knew he shouldn’t waste his time on this dumbass (disgustingly cute) half-blood.
Or,
two idiots fall in love and don’t get that the other’s awkward cues are just a result of romantic tension.
I am ALSO a sucker for fantasy/mythical creatures au and I LOVED this one - Bakugou absolutely unable to handle how cute Midoriya is? Perfection - but it’s unfinished, and I don’t think it ever will be continued, unfortunately TT_TT
lots to unpack (throw away the whole suitcase) - shounentwink (4315 words)
Summary: “How’d you know?” Midoriya asks.
There’s a hunch to his shoulders that wasn’t there three hours ago. Freckled shoulders are kissed sunburnt and red: he looks like someone ran him over and left him like roadkill in the sunlight. Bakugou’s working with insurance today, but he could see the sparks of green lightning even from his elevated position in their shared agency. Midoriya’s holding his thumb, cracking it over and over — it looks like he’s rubbed it raw.
“Dunno,” Bakugou says. “Maybe you’re just easy to read, nerd.”
I love this one so much, it was one of the first ones I read, it’s so good, and it’s another that really affected how I view their relationship! Idk this one just hit for me
hang the moon from us (it’s a no from me) - shounentwink (1200 words)
Summary: Midoriya’s gonna get sick of Bakugou one of these days, and then the whole ruse will be over, and the balance of power will tilt beyond salvation, but that day isn’t today and it looks like Bakugou knows it.
What an asshole.
Once again, I’m a sucker for the fantasy au... But even more, the diction, the details, the imagery...it’s absolutely all stunning here. I wish I could write this pretty
In Which Bakugou Finds His One Tru Luv - Erina (5862 words) This is the first one of a series called The Misadventures of Explodo-kill Agency!
Summary:  Welcome to the Explodo-kill agency! We can destroy your buildings, crash your cars, and help you solve one of the seven mysteries in life: who is Bakugou Katsuki's mysterious boyfriend?!
I’ll admit I’ve only read the first three but by god they are the funniest fics I’ve ever read in my life. I see that Erina has added more since the last time I checked it out! Tbh I was only interested in reading the purely bakudeku ones... (My favorite was the second one!! SO funny and cute!)
i still do - raeryn (9646 words)
Summary:  He’s losing him to pieces, but Izuku still tries to make them count. In which a battle leaves Bakugou Katsuki with amnesia, and Izuku finds himself picking up the pieces.
So, this one makes me cry. TT_TT
One Thing Straight - winningshot (9899 words)
Summary: They totally aren't.
Hints of their relationship is found in all of their friends’ social media accounts, but majority of their fans still think that Katsuki and Izuku are in relationships with anybody but each other.
It was amusing up until it became sad.
Lmao it’s a little salty but I guess I can be too. This is a social media fic! There’s multiple ships in this one, too
A Demolition Boy & his Cryptid BF - kewltie (8472 words)
Summary: Bakugou of the Demolition Squad is famous for running one of the most popular Youtube channels on the web that regularly blow shit up and jumped off a perfectly good building for shit and giggles. He's also famous for his Cryptid BF™, never appearing on camera except for a few bodyshots and all information on him is kept locked up tighter than Fort Knox, therefore drawing all sort of attention and curiosity toward his mysterious boyfriend.
Deku from Deku Explains is a hopeless chatterbox who is known for uploading 20-30 minutes video that talked about his favorite shows and comics and have one of the most devoted following on Youtube. He also can't seem to shut up about his boyfriend Kacchan, who regularly make his presence on the channel as a disembodied voice.
They should theoretically have nothing in common except a shared platform to host their content and an army of fans with an endless curiosity and devotion to their Youtubers. Vidcon is where we lay our scene and the internet is about to get a rude wake up call.
Okay kewltie is SO GOOD and very creative! The formatting is phenomenal, it’s like you’re actually experiencing a social media melt down in real time lol
be my good luck charm - writedeku (6785 words)
Summary: See, the thing is, Midoriya Izuku had been born with a curse. It’s not a curse that’s particularly visible. He doesn’t have horns, or a tortured face, and it’s not the kind of silly curse like a friend of his had way down south in Diagnor, wherein the girl had been born without the ability to say the word duck. Midoriya Izuku is just extremely unlucky.
(Or the AU in which Izuku's the world's unluckiest travelling merchant, and Katsuki is someone who may be able to help him. For a price, that is.)
Oh I adore this one! It’s so cute and such a good narrative! Nice and warm, and Bakugou trying his damnedest to be suave, and it somehow working because Midoriya is just as flustered. *Another one rated as teen but some suggestive content.
Smells Like Victory - majjale (2377 words)
Summary: Bakugou takes two steps into the room and stops, clapping a hand over his nose. “Ugh, what stinks like Deku in here?”
"Good afternoon, Bakugou. That would be the amortentia."
I must admit, not a fan of HP, but majjale...TT_TT majjale writes these two boys so well. This one is really, really good!
Cherish Me - Justaperson1718 (2376 words)
Summary: “What?”
Izuku looked back down at his menu and flipped the page, a small smile on his face. “Nothing.”
Katsuki glared at Izuku from across the table. “If it was nothing then you wouldn’t be staring at me.”
“It’s just a little funny watching you try to look your best for our date when you always look great anyway,” Izuku explained. He wouldn’t look up from his menu while he spoke, but his words remained ingrained with confidence nevertheless. He considered what he was saying to be fact, and nothing else. “Even when you’re not trying in front of the cameras, it’s still hard to take my eyes off of you.”
This is a sequel to a fic that’ll be in the next section, because it’s longer, called Manage Me. Please read that one first before this one! (Not part of a series, but they’re the same story line)
Fascinating - Justaperson1718 (1556 words)
Summary: “I’m not staring at you,” Izuku replied, his eyes focused intently on Katsuki. He’s still wearing his pajamas, sitting on his knees in their shared bed. He was awake moments before Katsuki, and waited eagerly for the other to awake.
Katsuki glanced over his shoulder after his shirt was on and glared. “You’re fucking staring at me right now.”
Izuku shook his head, humming his disapproval quietly. “I’m watching you.”
“That’s the same damn thing,” Katsuki said while searching for a pair of pants in the dresser. “Your eyes are fixated on me like I’m your life’s fucking goal or some shit.”
“I just like watching you get dressed.” Izuku tilted his head to the side and smiled softly at Katsuki’s confused stare. “I know, it’s weird. But I like it.”
*There is a little bit of implied mature content, but overall, it’s just so sweet and intimate, and I just simply adore this one.
in a place once filled with gold - dorenamryn (9226 words)
Summary: It felt strange to remember such details, for they were things a friend should know, and as far as Katsuki was concerned, he and Deku hadn’t been friends in a very, very long time. He could admit, with reluctance, that they were on the path there, now, even though they would never make it. Katsuki would die before they could get the chance.
or: There is a garden growing in Katsuki’s lungs, and he is helpless to stop it.
“Hanahaki disease” okay, I can explain myself. Okay, I can’t. In any case, you got angst with a happy ending if that’s what you’re into!
Kaleidoscope - DPRenFTW (5141 words)
Summary: Izuku is a witch. He just needs to find his familiar. Enter a boy that is a wolf, and a wolf that is a boy - with wild red eyes and sharp smiles.
And Izuku thinks:
"Oh, it's him."
Just as beautiful and fascinating as the name implies! I seriously recommend for the beautiful writing, the gorgeous world, the mythical creatures au, and the lovely bakudeku romance!
Learning Curve - sensiblysilly (4222 words)
Summary: Deku and Katsuki’s first kiss goes rather differently than planned.
And Katsuki’s quickly learning that relationships can be unpredictable - especially when taking into account the variable that is Midoriya Izuku.
This really is just a careful handling of a teenage romance where perhaps one of them may have shit they’re still working through. It’s really sweet, and a careful study at boundaries and the building of a relationship. I actually stumbled across this while looking for another with the same name and ended up pleasantly surprised. Kacchan can has a little validation, as a treat.
4/20 is a national holiday - Ereri_Garbage (
Summary: Izuku is a drug dealer that doesn't really accept the fact he's a drug dealer, Katsuki is hot as hell as shouldn't be allowed a facebook.
Happy (Late) birthday Katsuki and happy (late) 4/20. I actually half assed an edit on this one so it took longer to post than I thought it would.
Uummmm lmao yes I have a sense of humor. ;ALDSKJFLSKDJF Okay, I say that, but this is not a crack fic, it’s a good story that I enjoy with good writing, and *it has mature, content, obviously for multiple reasons here. It’s rated as mature but there are borderline explicit moments imo. It’s a fun fic and funny, too! And, ngl, it really does remind me of college... But forget about me, the bakudeku is wonderful too of course :)
Drinking Watermelon - warschach (8906 words)
Summary: For whatever reason, maybe divine fate, Izuku turned and looked over his shoulder and waved to them.
Katsuki’s heart full on stopped right then, and his fingers forgot their duty on the rails, and his body neglected its job to keep Katsuki balanced.
Izuku’s summer sweet smile fell into concern as Katsuki went airborne and cracked his skull on the porch.
or Katsuki works as a camp counselor, and Izuku is a boy made of summer heat and sunlight.
Love it when people have Bakugou as absolutely enamored with Midoriya; it’s so good and true. Anyways this one makes me like summer camp story lines. It’s funny and also cute and great writing! *It’s got explicit content, just a heads up. Warschach stories just have this youthful 80′s vibe, I don’t know how else to explain it.
there are listed buildings - semiautomatichearts (3309)
Summary: Katsuki first sees colors bloom when he is only three years old. It is timid Izuku, hiding behind the cover of his mother's leg who looks upon him with wide eyes, and Katsuki's world explodes in shades of greens and pinks and blues, and he is so startled, he begins to cry.
His life is then on defined in color, in shades his peers can't see, by the forlorn, timid stare in Izuku's eyes that always lets off more than he is willing to tell. There is a schism driven between himself and his fated other, and Katsuki strives to be better than fate, better than what is defined for him. He is more than the written pages of a book, to be cracked open and read by the gods.
He wonders if it is possible for colors to bloom for someone who will never love you back.
Ah...soulmates :) So interesting how bakudeku fits into soulmate aus like this one when they’ve known each other as kids! And when they’ve had this complex push and pull thing going on all their lives! The writing is beautiful, and so is the story!
Promise Ring - bkdkwritingsdump (3579)
Summary:  The midwest in the 1950′s is no place for boys who like kissing boys: something Izuku and Katsuki know all too well growing up there. However, the undeniable bond between the nervous science geek and the aloof delinquent will still find a way to blossom in such a desert.
Cute, sweet, makes my gay heart ache. Longing not just for the one you love, but just to feel right loving them. Very pretty story line, lovely story telling!
Fics 10k - 30k:
Fishy - warschach (19417 words)
Summary: Izuku’s convinced his hot co-worker/neighbor, Katsuki, is a mermaid-or merman- you gotta consider genders even with mythical creatures- and plans to prove it.
(or this is kinda like the show ‘Monster Quest’, except Izuku actually finds said monster, falls in love, and have sexy times.)
Another warschach! I love this one, I love how they write bakudeku, particularly as college students, their stories (at least, the ones that I’ve read) always feel so warm, like a summer’s day, but not a lazy one, one that’s playful? If that makes sense? *This one is explicit, another heads up!
Manage Me - Justaperson1718 (10756 words)
Summary: Izuku caught himself moving forward, his head tilted somewhat to the side, and his eyes shot wide open. His gaze met Katsuki’s half-lidded eyes now that he was no longer in a dreamlike state, and seeing the way Katsuki was looking at him—waiting for him—made him realize Katsuki would’ve let him do it. He might have even wanted him to do it.
“You’re both doing fabulous!” the photographer called out to them, packing his camera into his bag and getting ready to leave. “I just got word that what we have now should be good, so we’ll stop there. Thank you for your time! Lock the door on your way out after you change.”
The pair stayed frozen in place, with Izuku’s arms around Katsuki’s neck and Katsuki’s hands resting on Izuku’s waist, while the photographer and his supervisor left.
“Kacchan,” Izuku cooed once they were gone. “Did you want to…?”
Love the story, love the bakudeku! Very, very good bakudeku TT_TT very sweet *There is some mature content in here as well
point to a map (we’ve been there) - cosmicfuss (10589 words)
Summary: Serendipity / sĕr″ən-dĭp′ĭ-tē Serendipity is the occurrence of an unplanned fortunate discovery. Two men find themselves on a subway, hot coffee on one while the other is in the middle of a screaming match. After that they can't seem to stop finding each other, no matter how far they go.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; this fic owns my entire soul. I love the story, the ease of their relationship, just how lovely they are together. It’s another kind of nice, fluffy fic you’d read on a bad day where you come home and curl up in a blanket and listen to a ten hour video of thunderstorm white noise. *Again, some more mature content in here
Partners - tsukithewolf (13619 words) Another series! Two parts to this one this time
Summary: It is said that in Musutafu there is a charm that one can buy at a temple that will lead you to your destined partner. They say that if the charm works, you would be able to follow the red string of fate to the person you were meant to be with. And if the person returns your feelings, they would be able to see the string as well, proving that both were meant to be.
Three-year-old Katsuki and Izuku misunderstand what the word "partner" means and discover the charm and the rumor behind it is not only true, but more than expected.
Gets a little heavy, depression, bullying, suicidal thoughts, etc. But it must get worse before it gets better, that kind of thing. I also just adore the second part (called Bond) - maybe because it’s much fluffier, what about it?
Learning Curve - iknewaman (10304 words)
Summary: “Izuku.” Uraraka repeats as she motions at the person stood next to her. Green curls, average height, and, well. Up close, not such a bad smile. Uraraka points a thumb at Bakugou and enunciates slowly, “This is Bakugou. He can speak sign language too.”
Wait. Sign language?
The stranger— well, Izuku— looks at him with a raised brow. Their free hand lifts up as they make a slight motion of the hand.‘
Really?’
*
Bored out of his mind at a house party one night Bakugou is introduced to Izuku, a deaf student who offers to help teach Bakugou sign language in exchange for a favour-- or well, is prompted into asking for a favour.
Ah, I really want to explain this one a little bit? I’d never been into fanfiction ever, only really getting into it with these boys. This was the second one I read, I remember, and it caught me off guard, and it intrigued me. It really surprised me as to what fanfiction could be. Ngl I had biased perceptions of fanfics - I used to be one of those people who thought fanfiction could never be good writing - and this one slapped me in the face with it’s subtle beauty and creative story and heart melting capabilities, and very, very real relationship and growth. Anyways it’s so cute how happy Deku is to teach Kacchan sign language TT_TT Make sure to read the tags!
The Keeper and the Sun God’s Heir - SurelyHeavenWaits (12746 words)
Summary:  The Titans' have stolen something important from Izuku, heir of the Sun God, and he wants it back.
This one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one this one- Oh my god this one. Okay so what, I was a Percy Jackson kid, what about it? I love the mythical aus, particularly the god ones. But beyond that, the writing is so beautiful, just like the world, and the imagery. The bakudeku...absolutely stunning. The story itself? Incredible. Cannot recommend more. *There is explicit content in this, though I will say, it’s all in the last chapter, and all of the story is in the first two chapters. There’s also a second part as it’s a series and it’s short but it’s cute and sweet TT_TT
seven days - aaAAAaaahhhhHHHHH (10094 words)
Summary: There’s something about the green haired boy, an aura that just drew Katsuki in before he even knew his name.
[Sometimes your mind forgets, but your heart remembers]
Heed my warning: DON’T read this in front of other people. I bawl every time I read this one TT_TT I know I said I don’t like angst but AJLSKDFJALSKDFJ it has a hopeful ending! I mean yeah you’re gonna cry but...hope? :’) (that username really says it all tbh)
Fics 30k+
Notice me, nerd - useless_donut (40000 words)
Summary: Bakugou is in love with Midoriya. He doesn’t hide it, in fact it’s so painfully obvious that the entire class of 3-A has him figured out in a matter of months (days, in some cases). Too bad Midoriya is the most oblivious motherfucker out there, and Bakugou is too damn stubborn to actually ask him out.
Will the class of 3-A survive the sexual tension? Who will snap first? Someone put Bakugou out of his misery, please, before everyone else dies of second-hand embarrassment.
(a love story as witnessed by the class of 3-A)
Love the idea of Bakugou being brazen and brash, cause yeah, he is. So fucking funny though how that translates to him flirting. Gotta say, thought I was gonna cringe, but his “I’m gay af” outfit really ended up being A Look. Love the mutual pining, it really is strong in this one. *Okay, mature content in this one lads.
While You Were Sleeping - Belkacaramelka (71197 words)
Summary: The one where quirkless fanboy Midoriya Izuku rescues Pro Hero Todoroki Shouto, gets mistaken as his fiancé while he is in a coma, and gets caught up in the most unlikely fake engagement... until his childhood enemy and Todoroki's classmate Bakugou Katsuki tries to catch him out, and they both end up discovering a lot more about each other than they'd expected.
Quirkless AU based on the film; endgame BakuDeku. -- Katsuki didn’t know when the change had happened: how he had gone from asking why Todoroki chose Deku of all people, to wondering why it was Todoroki that Deku chose. Troublesome Deku, who cooed like an idiot at cats, tripped at a random catcall and sang badly. Who, despite everything, proved that it wasn’t the quirk that defined a person. Deku, who was too much, not his, and undeniably off limits to begin with.
Update: Epilogue added
*This one has mature content. If you can, please, for the love of god, read this fic. It’s like, tied with my favorite bkdk fic perhaps ever. It’s based on the movie of the same title, a nineties romcom with Sandra Bullock, but Belkacaramelka has so effortlessly made it into it’s own story, fit it so perfectly inside of the bnha world. I definitely stayed up until 6:30am reading this one. It’s got such good badass Midoriya, who is also sweet, and really really good reconciliation between bakudeku.
All Gifted - fitzefitcher (39129 words)
Summary: The thing about gifts is that they're meant to be given, they're meant to be shared; so Izuku will take his gifts, so freely given to him, and share them with all he holds dear.
Izuku is born without any gifts, as his kind often are, to a witch mother and salamander father, on one sweltering night in July.
This one is unfinished...and I highly doubt it will ever be. But what has been written is incredible. Once again, I’m a sucker for the magic/mythical creatures aus. But the relationship is great! The characterization is great! The found family trope that was building up is great!
under a hollow sun - umbrage (40572 words)
Summary: Midoriya is cursed with emptiness.
Misfortune leads him to a man of ancient magic and endless rage.
To stop an unfathomable evil, their mismatched halves must become whole.
Uuuggghhhh this was so good! I don’t think it’s going to be finished either :( Once again, fantasy au, more amazing writing, on point characterization, incredible pacing, makes you hungry for more story.
all the savage soul requires - majjale (58032 words)
Summary: Bakugou seems to have exhausted his patience for words and no longer acknowledges that Midoriya exists, so Midoriya crosses his legs, stares down at his hands limned in firelight, and makes a list of things he knows.
One. His name is Midoriya Izuku.
Two. He is a Godmarked, future god of life, heir to the divine throne.
Three. The gods have been fighting Death for eons, and now he's coming for recompense with everything he’s got.
This is majjale, so of course, the writing is more than beautiful; it’s absolutely breathtaking. This may be my favorite fic ever - unfortunately I don’t think it will ever be finished either TT_TT There’s the gods/fantasy au, which you know by now I love. But the characterization of our two boys is absolutely perfect, and I mean that as literally as possible. And the story being crafted between the two, the memory loss, the obvious history muddled by it all, it was so dense, and the PINING, so incredibly written, flowing so naturally. It wasn’t even close to being done, but it was wonderful, still is wonderful. 
My Writing: (You can skip this if you hate shameless self promotion)
You’re too damn flicking cute (1815 words)
Summary:  Bakugou is certain his shitty boyfriend is instigating kisses. Maybe it doesn't help that he keeps giving them away like it's a damn going out of business sale, but the stupid nerd is too fucking cute. Either way, like everything else, this is a competition, and he's going to win it.
Please don’t read this unless you’re going to the dentist afterwards! I’ve been told it’s so sweet it’ll give you instant cavities >_>;;;;
Bakugou Katsuki, you smooth motherfucker (10118 words)
Summary: Everyone around him knows that Bakugou Katsuki has a very special way with words. To the untrained ear he is loud and crass; to those that speak Kacchan, he is caring and inspiring. Yet there are rare moments, moments so fleeting you blink and you miss them, where Bakugou’s words pierce straight through Midoriya’s chest, and surprise everyone around him.
Goddammit, if only he would say them to Midoriya’s face.
Or, the five times Bakugou said something nice about Midoriya, and the one time he said something kind to him (but that was too long of a title).
I think most would consider this my best published fic; it’s one of those snapshot fics, “the five times where x did this, and the one time where they didn’t.” The recurring comment I get on this one is both of them being super in character, so I think that’s it’s defining characteristic! Bakugou and Midoriya have never known a life without the other, and in a perfect world, they never will.
Here, let me fix that (11247 words)
Summary: Bakugou honestly never thought he’d see Deku ever again. And now that they were together in this tiny compartment, alone for the next two and a half minutes, he had no clue what to say. He’d just apologized, right? So perhaps he could leave it at that and carry on with the original plan to never see the green-haired man that reminded him of dense forests, late night adventures, and tear-stained faces, ever again.
Ha! Who is he kidding? These bitches are soulmates.
I’ve gotten some critiques on this one, so sorry in advance if it’s not to your liking! Basically, what if Midoriya never got his quirk? Obviously, life would find a way to put them together because, as previously stated, these bitches are soulmates.
Plenty of Time (16654 words)
Summary: Bakugou found what little sleep he got restless and filled with nightmares that he forgot the second he opened his eyes. Tonight was the first time in a long time where he just had a normal dream - and it happened to be about Deku.
How fucking typical.
In other words, two dorks realize they have feelings for each other but don't know what to do about said feelings.
Ah, my first fic. Very simple, boys being boys, kinda like a slow burn? Idk how to explain this one, just boys figuring out their feelings and trying to figure out what to do about them. Been told these two are a little stupid but I think that’s valid.
We’re all time bombs waiting to explode (39223 words)
Summary: We have now entered the slipstream of time, into an alternate dimension where it neither is, nor isn’t, the 80’s. Two teenagers, burdened with the weight of adolescence in the modern world, find themselves struggling side by side, in part because of each other.
Bakugou, the most popular boy in school, has everything he could possibly want; status, power, and an unbreakable will. Having been dragged along behind him all the way to the top, Midoriya can’t help but wonder how (and why) he ended up standing beside his childhood friend-turned bully-turned friend again, weighed down by their complicated past and present. As the tension between them grows every day, and the arrival of a new, pretty face causes it to peak, it won’t be long before something - or someone - snaps.
I am...very bad at titles, and summaries apparently. This was my Heathers au, but it very quickly diverges from the original (I don’t do sad endings....) *This one has mature content, including implied sexual activity, drug use, and underage drinking, along with other heavy topics; please read the tags! Though tbh Midoriya is 17 for a couple weeks before it hits his birthday halfway through, so keep that in mind I guess? I kind of went heavy with this one, but I think the pay off was immense. This is the one with the most amount of comments stating it’s their favorite bkdk fic ever (and I cry). It’s a rough start, with a rough journey, but so is bakudeku! There’s a lot of petty drama, and then all of a sudden it’s Not That Petty and very much Far Too Real. Many have cried reading the ending, I cried writing it. My sister says it’s her favorite of mine. Now, I did kind of push this out without polishing it so much because I was losing my willpower, so if it feels lacking, that’s one hundred percent my fault.
Okay that was a lot! It took me a couple days...I hope I wasn’t too annoying with all my opinions! Please have a nice day. and enjoy some good reads, even if they aren’t the ones in this post!
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break-slash · 4 years
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Puzzleship JP & KR Fancomic Recommendation List
UPDATE (19-12-2020): Added two more artists and two more titles on the Japanese lists!
I don’t consider myself as someone very tidy and organized, but I just like making lists of the things I love, somehow. Hence this post. I haven’t been in the fandom for long but I thought I’d share some of my favorites primarily from two sites: pixiv and postype. Most of the postype ones are behind paywall, and I will mark them differently.
Some of my favorites come from the same artists, so I’ll also link their pixiv profile on top of my favorite work of them.
(I actually bookmarked a lot and picking them isn’t an easy task, so I will update this step by step. If you see only a link of an artist, that’s the reason, but I can guarantee you will love their works! Feel free to recommend me yours through reblogs or DM as well!)
Japanese
Artist: CYHGM
She is a Chinese and is more active on Weibo (she posted tons of puzzleship there, but my Mandarin is beyond rusty so I could only cry in despair lmao), but she has two fancomics that I absolutely adore of. Those two mentioned fancomics are:
The Past and The Future. You can check my translation for this one here. It tells about Atem who gets transported to 3000 years later before his coronation, and that’s where he met post-canon!Yugi. Just... everything about this comic is so wonderful. I teared up at the last page, not gonna lie ;_;
The Pharaoh and The Fairy: An Ancient Egypt-slash-fantasy AU featuring the S0/TOEI casts. The fairy Yugi was saved by Atem, and it’s an obligatory for fairies to grant their savior’s wishes. However, Atem doesn’t exactly have something he wants of, and this confuses Yugi on how he should repay him back. Pure undiluted sugar, and fairy!Yugi is just so cute.
Artist: Fushitas
Arguably one of the most popular Puzzleship fanartists in the JP fandom (look at their number of followers on Twitter, man), but maybe it’s also due to the fact they were in AoT fandom too. They’re mostly active on Twitter, and if you also watch Zexal, they draw tons of Yuma-centric pairings too. They have released lots of books, and their prices on the reseller sites are... well, let’s just say, unbelievable. Just to show how famous they are. 
From everlasting to everlasting: Set after DSOD. A mysterious figure appears in front of Atem, claiming to be his queen. Everyone in the after life somehow acknowledges this person, which makes him even more confused because he’s the only one unaware of this. On the living realm, Yugi who is on the way to his home got hit by a truck (isekai much??) and when he woke up, he suddenly plays the role of Atem’s queen. I’ve always adored Fushitas’ drawing, and this is no exception. The story is pretty simple, but is still good! The ending of this comic is everything I’ve always wanted from the canon lol. 
The King’s Guest: Ancient Egypt AU. The councils are starting to get worried because Atem shows no interest in marrying someone, so Shimon opens up a “chance” sort of for civilians to become “someone for the Pharaoh to talk with”. The civilian Yugi takes this chance right off the bat, and stuff happens? This one is just so sweet and the misunderstanding later in the story kinda cracks me up. I really love the way they build the two’s chemistry in here.
Artist: usi 
They only draw two puzzleship fancomics, but both are so good and explores the themes I’ve loved from the pairing.
The Lotus’ Devil: Set post-canon with a flashback. It tells about Yugi’s regret in the past where he wanted to show Atem a small pool supposed to be full of lotus flower only to arrive seeing them not blooming. Fast forward to the post-canon, he found out that there’s actually a monster residing on that pool. I really, really loved the ending scene of this one.
Who’s The Detestable, Fortunate Guy Here: I think this is set sometime in the canon story, although the exact timing is unclear. It’s a short comic of Yugi asking Atem to pretend to be his date and go on a “dating practice”. A very pleasant hurt-and-comfort kind of story, and who doesn’t love a story of them dating anyways? :”D
Artist: Houzuki Anzu
She doesn’t draw much YGO, but she has some Arc-V and 5D’s fanarts too if you watch the series! 
Hourglass: Sets after the Memory World arc. Yugi keeps hearing a strange sound inside his mind, and he finds out there’s a huge hourglass standing there, guarded by the will of Millenium Puzzle. Apparently, the hourglass is linked to Atem’s remaining time in the living realm? Anyways, the ending of this comic might look like a cliffhanger, but I personally think it isn’t. I love the theme this comic picks to explore and the way it is presented.
Present: Same setting with Hourglass, but this one focuses more on Atem sorting out his feelings about the Ceremonial Duel and what he has learned from Yugi in general. It’s a very nice extra detail that the canon slightly lacks of, and I just love... bittersweet stuff in general haha.
Artist: Chiriko
Are you the type who wants puzzleship to be full of happiness and fluff and nothing else? Well, she has a number of comics to fill that need! I actually love all of her works, but if I have to pick, these two are my favorite:
...Don’t Ever Leave Me Again: A short story about Yugi having a nightmare of where he was stuck in the fire accident at Otogi’s store. Well... this isn’t a fluff sort of, but it’s... a happy ending still? /shot
[Untitled]: A dialogue-less comic, but this is the sort of post-canon what-if that I really, really like. Atem stroking Yugi’s face while sleeping is just... so soft man....
Artist: Komori Nea
Their art style was one of those that’s very noticeable and has a certain charm on it. They are pretty active on Twitter, and even draws puzzle comics once in a while that haven’t been uploaded to pixiv (which is why I recommend you to check their twitter gallery too haha)
The Soul Stays Awake: Post!DSOD. Atem comes back from afterlife in hoping that Yugi would be as happy as he is, but months after, Atem’s existence still hasn’t been registered on Yugi’s life just yet. Another post!DSOD take that I like which involves the fear of another farewell and uncertainty, but this is a good hurt-and-comfort. I swear, it’ll hurt you just... for a while. :”)
The Attack’s Aim: Set during the canon series. A short comic mostly portraying Yugi’s hidden strength but also the tenacity of duelist that is not only targeted toward the opponent, but also to Atem, without the person actually noticing it. The last page of this one is so... soft and gentle I had to put it into this list.
Artist: caf
Often draw with S0/TOEI style, characters and characterization in mind. Their coloring in illustrations is so soft, plus artists who specialize in S0/TOEI style can’t be found so easily. Their comic style is not a manga-like one and they write the dialogues with handwriting, but if you can read hiragana and write and understand how kanji works (so you can write it on translation machine), their comics are easy to understand!
magenta: S0/TOEI AU where Yugi and Atem are two separate person. A short comic of Yugi lying under the rain as Atem searches for his whereabouts. I really love the way they portray the rain and the atmosphere surrounding the scene. Or maybe I’m just biased with rains in general, ahahaha.
Yuugi and Mao’s Stay Home: Same AU as above. Our two boys has to face the same shit we do IRL in this comic, which is quarantine. Atem offers to cook something for Yugi since he can’t eat outside. You love seeing Yugi eating stuff? This is a perfect comic for y’all. 
Artist: Kkyut
Artist: Kayu(i)
Others:
Gemini: As Atem comes back to the living world, Yugi faces the dilemma of having being separated by “his other self” physically and mentally. A short comic, but the lines the artist used are so... beautiful. Like, the way they describe Yugi’s loneliness?? Just hits the park so much. 
Until The Hourglass Runs Out: Set after the Memory World Arc. As their farewell day goes closer, Yugi decides to give Atem a full control of his body at school so he could spend his time with Jounouchi and the gang more. However, things don’t go as smooth as Yugi had expected. If you like that little teeny weeny pain before the Ceremonial Duel, this comic perfectly suits the taste. 
see you sometime: Post-canon. Mahaad offers Atem a chance to meet Yugi in the living realm one more time, but with several conditions. Firstly, he could only stay for a day at maximum. Secondly, Yugi won’t be able to remember who he spent his time with after Atem hangs out with him. Thirdly, Yugi will not be able to “recognize” this Atem; he will only be registered in Yugi’s mind as a new classmate. A bittersweet comic in whole, but seeing the two having fun like a normal teenager would just makes me grin.
After The Rain: A dialogue-less comic, so everyone would be able to read this right away. A short comic of the two, but still very cute and wholesome!
The Tropics of Horus: Post!DSOD, Atem has to chase Kisara who lingers around Kaiba’s soul and he needs Yugi’s help to bring Kisara back to afterlife, but he has his own ulterior motive. This manga is so dialogue-heavy and might be hard to dissect especially if you don’t understand JP grammar and context, but the time spent trying to understand the meaning behind every words will be worth it. That much I guarantee. Just... everything about this comic, and how Atem’s “ulterior motive” connects to our boys’ adventure in canon series are so well planned. You can also purchase the R18 version in a form of the book here (toranoana)
Christmas Day: S0/TOEI puzzleship hint (dark puzzle???). There’s something in store for Yugi in Christmas, but this one might surprise Yugi a lot. It’s not that the prompt of “Atem gets separated from Yugi temporarily” is uncommon, but it is still a sweet one and makes you smile throughout the pages. 
Korean
All titles mentioned here are not free unless mentioned otherwise. Also I don’t understand Korean except being able to read Yugi and Atem’s name, so my story interpretation might be wrong. If you understand Korean, I’d really love for you input! ;_; 
You can check out on how to buy comics from postype here
Yugi’s 2020 Birthday Anthology: Rain and After End
This is an anthology consisting of four titles, but they share the same (or similar) setting where Atem is reincarnated, but he doesn’t remember his past (or has not yet, depending on how the story portrays it). Some are age-gap (adult!Yugi and high school student!Atem), so you might want to consider that if it’s not your cup of tea.
To Like Someone is to...: Age-gap setting. Mostly tells about how Yugi deals with his feeling as the reincarnated Atem in front of him turns out to have a feeling on him. I like how the story’s conclusion is that Yugi will sort it out slowly while also teasing Atem how he’s “too early” to date Yugi w.
In A Circle: A story about how the two met through an online chess game. Iirc Yugi works in a game company and Atem is sort of a famous e-sports player in this setting. There’s a lot of dialogue in this one and the app sometimes can’t process them very well, but I liked what I can understand from it! not very convincing is it haha i’m sorry i shouldn’t have done this
Familiarity: Age-gap setting, where Yugi becomes Atem’s caretaker. The comic mostly focuses on how Atem notices how kind (or too kind) Yugi is sometimes, but there are times where he feels distant. The plot where Atem gets into a fight with the other kid in his school because the kid mocks Yugi, and how Yugi just... accepts it even when Atem doesn’t want to say his reason of punching the kid is just.... god... I love this kind of age-gap setting like this I guess ;_;
Touchdown: Age-gap setting, but Atem is older in here (university student). The two goes to Atem’s university festival and they think about their own feeling when they got separated. On their way to drop Atem off, he confesses to Yugi, but Yugi is still unsure on his overlapping feeling between the reincarnated Atem and the Atem he knows. Make sure you play Motohiro Hata’s Rain and Aimer’s After Rain during the car scene to make the “rain” mood works even better :”)
Others:
Try For Point: A continuation of Touchdown, where Atem (like, the one from the past) visits Yugi in his dream and helps Yugi in sorting out is his feeling toward his reincarnated self. Atem’s advice is so sweet and there’s one certain line from this comic that I remember very deeply - there’s a part where he says, “If you don’t pull out the card, you won’t know what card it is, right?” to help Yugi clearing out his hesitancy ;w; at this point, I curse myself for not being able to understand Korean
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katierosefun · 3 years
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well, here we are! june basically flew by and it was a little rough, but we’re back with some long recs on cool things i’ve read/listened to/watched, and i’m about to force everyone to sit down and listen to my sleepover-esque ted talk in which i give unwarranted and unasked for rec lists. so here we go!
kdrama:
while you were sleeping
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okay, so i tried to watch this kdrama when it came out in like...2017, i think? but for some reason, i wasn’t able to get past the first episode. i don’t really know why? because it’s so beautifully shot, and i super love the premise, which is basically this girl and this guy are somehow able to see things that are going to happen in the future...but only in their dreams. this whole kdrama really handled the plot super well--each episode honestly felt like a movie in itself, and the filming was just stunning, and i think this has to be one of the most visual kdramas i’ve ever seen. each character is also super interesting and complex on their own, and i really loved seeing such a strong cast of characters interact with each other in this world. 
i think the only slight downside of this kdrama was that i couldn’t really get invested in the romance? i’m not quite sure why--i found both lead actors’ performances wonderful, and don’t get me wrong, i did think they were cute together as the drama went on, but i still couldn’t find myself buying into the romance until maybe relatively late in the drama (like...ep 11 or so? ep 16 was honestly when i realized that awww, wait, they’re actually super cute). but then again, i feel like the writers weren’t really prioritizing the romance either--i think they really wanted us to think about the beauty of dreams and redemption and how everyone can touch another person’s life in some significant way, so i can’t really be mad about it!
but anyways, overall i really enjoyed this kdrama and watched it all a lot faster than i thought i would! SOLID music, beautiful cinematography, good acting, mostly good writing, and some really memorable characters! def. a must-watch if you love suspense, aesthetics, and some wonderful characters.
the ghost detective
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i’m someone who doesn’t like horror or scary things at all, but i was so intrigued by the plot and whatever material i saw on tumblr, and...of course, choi daniel, lee joo young, lee ji ah, and park eun bin. honestly, this is just a really wonderful and really underrated cast, and they really all brought out their a-game for this 32-episode supernatural / thriller / horror drama. basically, this kdrama follows the story of a young woman who’s trying to figure out who murdered her younger sister...and of course, there’s something supernatural going on. 
honestly, this kdrama was such a ride. i loved the crime-solving aspect of it, and i was really in love with the interactions between all the characters, esp. that of eun bin and daniel’s characters. (guys...they’re so ride and die for each other. there’s also so much yearning. so much yearning in this kdrama, it just about killed me--) 
the villain was absolutely, appropriately, elegantly creepy, and like...scary beyond belief. basically, the villain (lee ji ah’s character) feeds her victims these harmful thoughts and ultimately get them to kill themselves. it’s sad and haunting, especially when you see that the victims tell their victims “don’t listen to the bad things. try only to listen to the good things”. and...yeah. themes of how to handle all of these bad feelings inside of you really came through in this kdrama, and there were a lot of themes of suicide and the kind of rage and sadness that comes with that. (also! if you’re a fan of lots of angsty/whumpy situations....this kdrama definitely does not hold back with all of your fave whump/angst tropes! literally! every! episode! i! had! to! lie! down! because! too! powerful!)
school 2013 
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(aww, look at this precious cast…as though they didn’t all make me ugly cry at least five times—)
yeah, yeah, yeah, i’ve talked about this kdrama ad nauseum, and i know i watched it last month, but as i was studying for the lsat, i really, really, really needed some comfort. most notably comfort re: studying life, academics, how difficult it is to study but also be uncertain of your dreams…and if you are certain of your dreams, how that sometimes requires studying but that just makes life all the more overwhelming…can you tell i’ve been thinking about this a lot
i’m not going to ramble more about this kdrama considering i already have done so multiple times, but i enjoyed this rewatch and honestly,,,my love for this show has just grown even more. there’s a good reason why people consider this a comfort kdrama, because. i consider myself deeply comforted. also, i’ve been listening to the ost for the whole month. it’s become a problem. but sometimes. sometimes you need to listen to songs that feel like someone’s patting you on the head and telling you don’t give up, set down your burdens, don’t think you’re alone and dream whatever you want to dream, go wherever you want to go. i’ll stop talking now, but god. when i say that i think everyone who has ever felt incredibly tired by work or school and just wished for someone to give them a big hug either then or now...god. this is just one of those kdramas that i think honestly touched so many people’s lives, and i’m very grateful for the cast and crew and writers for ever bringing this story to life. :’) (god, okay, now i’ll stop talking before i make myself cry i’m fine this is fine)
your honor
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so, i watched this kdrama thinking that it would be light and funny given that yoon shi yoon is the main male lead, but boy was i wrong--don’t be fooled by these happy little faces, this kdrama is heavy. this kdrama is about a young man (with a criminal record) who winds up impersonating his twin brother, who happens to be a judge. we also have a trainee who, after seeing the legal system fail her older sister, is on the rise to dispense justice through the courts the best she can.
honestly, the first few episodes were rough, mostly because of the content. big trigger warning for rape, violence, and sexual harassment at work. this kdrama really didn’t hold back when it came to addressing how the very people who use the law can also be the very same people who manipulate and abuse it. because of that, i found this kdrama incredibly powerful. that said, it certainly had its lighthearted moments too. 
overall though, i liked this kdrama. the main characters were incredibly complex and genuinely the type to make me believe that for all the injustices in the world, there are still and always will be people fighting for the right thing. as someone who wants to enter the legal field, this kdrama was just uplifting. i was so blown away by the absolute rawness of the main two leads, esp. yoon shi yoon, who i’ve only ever seen in super lighthearted kdramas. so this was a really interesting change of pace, and i genuinely enjoyed watching this!
waiting for love
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so this kdrama is just two episodes, and what’s better is that it’s available on youtube! it’s about two college students--a young woman who’s been hurt by falling in love with jerks now just wants to date, not really fall in love...and a young man who’s excellent at giving dating advice except he’s afraid that he’s never going to actually fall in love, so he just dates a girl for the sake of dating.
now, i kinda thought that this show was going to be kinda lighthearted, a little shallow--but it was weirdly...comforting? idk, i found myself liking it a lot more than i thought it would be. this is far from the perfect kdrama, and i kinda wished that we got more than 2 episodes because i think some of the plot points could have been better expanded, but...there were genuinely a lot of scenes that made me think a bit more about what it actually means to be in a loving relationship--like how it’s not enough to just put on a happy smile and eat meals together, but like...you know. there has to be trust and actual liking and also, yeah, maybe a bit of frustration in order to actually know whether a relationship is real or not. and given that the characters were all discussing the pressure on getting married and romance esp. when you’re in your twenties...idk. makes you think about are you dating someone for the sake of appearances? or do you genuinely...like them?
there was also quite a few tropes that i personally adore in this kdrama, which helped balance out the stuff i found more tiring. there was a lot of the “right person, wrong time” stuff going on (you really want the two main leads to get together after a certain point, and you just keep holding your breath whenever they walk past each other and beg please please please let it be this time...), and also that good old “two strangers fall in love with each other purely over writing to each other” (god. first the half of it, then me & au, then greenhouse podcast...something about this trope huh). that said, there were def. some parts that made me “:////” because some of the characters were kind of frustrating, but i’m gonna chalk that up to good writing since i think i was mostly mad about how i knew people like some of the characters lol. overall, i think this might be at least semi-enjoyable--it’s probably not something i’ll watch again, but it def. made me mull over what it means to actually be in a loving relationship, esp. if you’re in your twenties and everyone around you seems to be in happy romantic relationships/getting engaged and whatnot. 
movie: 
columbus 
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i’m a firm believer that there are some movies that are meant to cheer you up, some movies meant to make you cry, and then there’s some movies that are just meant to...sit with you. and this movie is definitely one of them. this story follows casey, a high school graduate, and jin, the son of a famous architect. the two of them are both so incredibly exhausted with their lives (casey with her constant worry about her mother, who’s a recovering drug addict; jin with his surface-level lack of concern for his comatose father). in their small town of columbus, indiana, the two of them bond over architecture and just. being quietly there for each other.
this movie’s been compared a few times to lost in translation in the sense that there’s this not quite romance between the two leads, who have a bit of an age gap (john cho and haley lu richardson have about 20 between them!). to be honest, i didn’t really get the sense that there was supposed to be a romance. if anything, it just felt like...two really lonely people finding each other. definitely not a simple friendship--definitely not a familial kind of relationship, definitely intimate. 
idk. i think this movie might not be for everyone--i definitely agree with a lot of past reviewers that this movie is on the slower side. there’s some stuff here about complicated relationships with parents, a lot of cool architecture, really beautiful shots...and overall, it’s just...quiet. it’s lovely, and i can’t really stop thinking about it. it’s subtle, bittersweet, and oddly compelling. might not be the kind of thing you’d want to watch in the middle of the day, but if you’re a little sad and in the mood for something not to necessarily lift your spirits but...at least acknowledge them and sit with you, then...this is the movie to watch. idk. i felt kind of crummy the day i watched this movie, and i felt as though someone just sat next to me on a park bench until the sun went down. (mayhaps specific but hush, i’m writing this right after finishing this movie, so i’m...feeling a certain way.)
wish dragon 
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i watched this movie right after watching columbus because a) decided i was in the mood for something lighter, and b) i learned that john cho?? voiced?? the dragon?? (caroline your crush on john cho’s jumping out this month...) 
but anyways! i loved this movie a lot. it was so satisfying? like, just narratively speaking? and the animation was wonderful and also weirdly smooth and satisfying, and there were a lot of funny and touching moments. this movie’s about this young man named din who stumbles upon a magical teapot that holds the wish dragon long--long has to grant din three wishes, and yes, i know, very aladdin, but that said, this movie has so many original twists that it feels weird to call it an aladdin retelling. it really did feel like a movie completely on its own, which i applaud the writer and director for! 
i don’t want to spoil too much of this movie, but something i really enjoyed was that din’s main wish is just to see his old childhood friend again. idk, i think we all have that one friend from when we were really little that we miss--and this movie really dug into that, as well as themes about parents wanting to do the best they can to provide for their kids, and!!! and long the dragon gets his own storyline and amazing character development too!!! i was honestly just amazed at how this movie fleshed out the characters so well and had so many wonderful themes that just made me tear up. guys. this movie’s great. highly recommend for its wonderful characters and the power of friendship. just a grand old time in general. :’))
searching 
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yeah...yeah, i wasn’t kidding about my crush on john cho this month. yes, i watched three of his movies within 24 hours. this movie is about david kim who’s looking for his missing 16 year old daughter, margot. this film is honestly noteworthy for many reasons, one of them being that the entire movie is told through like...a laptop screen, as in we kind of follow david’s frantic search through facetime, facebook, tumblr...which i honestly didn’t think i’d be into, but whoo boy, i was wrong. it just added to the whole addictive quality of this movie, as it usually does when it comes to anything from the thriller genre. 
but besides this just being a straight up addictive thriller with absolutely mouth-dropping twists (but like...good twists, and smart twists, good god--), this movie was just...touching? there’s so many themes related to what grief does to a family (because we learn within the first 10 minutes that the mom died due to cancer), and there’s just...something really fragile about relationships between surviving family members. i was absolutely blown away by john cho’s performance as a tentative and grieving widower whose world just absolutely falls apart in his search for his daughter. this movie was just so...real because of that. like, yes, this movie has all of the suspense that you would expect this kind of movie to have, but there was also just...so many beautiful themes about grief and how far parents would go for their kids and godddd yeah no i started sobbing when the movie ended. god. 
also, my bias towards john cho aside, i...really loved his character. david kim is absolutely believable, and like? he’s not just the guy putting the pieces together--he’s also the guy who misses his wife and also the guy who wishes that he was there for his daughter. he’s also the guy who pauses and re-writes all his text messages because he’s trying to be a good dad. i feel like with a lot of these suspense / missing person movies, it’s really easy to have characters who are just the stoic alpha male types--and david kim definitely had his badass moments in this movie, but like...something i just loved was seeing the vulnerability that comes with...having a missing child. being a parent. god. this movie messed me up but in a good way. i can honestly say that this movie is now probably going to be one of my fave movies of all time. highly recommend, am literally obsessed with it.
book:
the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid
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ohohoho………where to begin with this book. this was one of those books where i was like “huh i kinda don’t understand why people are so obsessed with this book”, but then i hit like...page 20 or 30 and was like “oh god i Literally Cannot Put This Book Down Oh No” and wound up finishing it in like three days (mind you, i only read at like...midnight these days. i don’t understand why either). 
i finished this book at like 2 am and promptly burst into tears because this was just one of those books. it follows the story of evelyn hugo, a famous hollywood actress from the 60s or so and onwards. known for her intense beauty and her seven husbands, she’s now giving an exclusive interview to the young reporter monique grant, where she’s about to tell all about her life. this book had me dropping my mouth multiple times, and i think tjr can spin one hell of a story, with so many good twists and turns and intensely memorable characters. by the end of the book, i was actually mad that evelyn hugo wasn’t a real person, because i, too, fell a little in love with her and thought, i want to actually watch her movies. i want to learn even more about this remarkable woman. 
but alas! she’s not real, so i don’t get to see her accept an oscar or look up all the tabloids about her and her seven husbands or her speculated (and very, very, very real) relationship with celia st. john. basically...i just loved this book. the last line made me smile and laugh and cry a little bit (actually...cry a lot), and y’know...i’ll admit it’s not totally perfect, but i’m glad this book exists, and i’m glad that even though tjr isn’t bi herself, was very adamant in this book about bisexuality being real. just. like. god. once again. mad that evelyn hugo isn’t real. it’s fine, she’s real in my heart.
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abraxos-the-phantom · 3 years
Text
Scum Disciple: Alpha Stage
Alpha, described by google as "...an exploratory phase. Beta means the features have been locked down and are under development (no other features will be added). More commonly: Alpha: Usually the first normally interact-able thing out (private or public use is irrelevant)."
And here are some of the highlights that I liked from the first few versions lol.
Fun Times in Gusu
Lan Xichen walked to quite a strange sight.
While normally he would have greeted the younger Nie with a smile, the image of the famous Wei Wuxian pouting as YunmengJiang’s young master and QingheNie’s second master grinned was a little too ridiculous for him to process without chuckling.
“We both know you aren’t actually going to tell Ming-shixiong,” Nie Huaisang chuckled at the shifted to pat the other.
“Yeah,” Wei Wuxian sighed. “I’m worried though.”
Jiang Wanyin had raised his eyebrow, making quite the image as he looked over his crossed arms, “You’re worried about your brother? QingheNie Sect’s Monster Head disciple? The Youngest Rogue Cultivator in the Generations? The Peerless Prodigy? I think you’re a little delusioned Wei Wuxian.”
Wei Wuxian’s nose crumbled at that, “They really call Gēge that? Such lame names.”
“I think brother called him the Crane Dragon once,” Nie Huaisang added. “When you and Ming-shixiong went on a Night Hunt.”
Wei Wuxian shook his head, “Forget it, that’s not what I’m worried about- it’s just. Gēge has never let me on my own like this before. He gets antsy.”
Nie Huaisang pursed his lips, “I can understand but- A-Xian, you’re one of his best students.”
“He just- he gets this look sometimes,” Wei Wuxian sighed. “He doesn’t talk about it but sometimes he looks at me and I’m pretty sure he’s seeing something else. I never asked because he always looks sad after.”
“Didn’t you grow up together?” Nie Huaisang frowned. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Ming-shixiong with anyone else besides the three of us but the other disciples.”
“He’s never talked to anyone except father, mother, myself, sister, and some of the disciples at our sect,” Jiang Wanyin said in agreement. “You guys didn’t meet anyone when your Brother was still Rogue?”
Wei Wuxian shook his head in Jiang Wanyin’s direction, expression slightly pinched still, “I wouldn't remember, and I know we’re close- but there’s some stuff I know he hasn’t told me. You guys realize that my brother is nineteen?”
Jiang Wanyin blinked, as well as several other disciples who were not so covertly listening into the conversation about the mysterious prodigal Cultivator of the QingheNie Sect. “He seems much older, I didn’t think anyone knew his actual age.”
Because that was the curiosity wasn’t it, for all that he was well-known, there was never truly anyone who knew Wei Ming, because he would never actually say anything about his past save for vague hints. One could ask Wei Wuxian of course, but the latter had the same result because of the mere fact that Wei Wuxian didn’t know much about his older brother either beyond his personality, likes and dislikes. Any years before Wei Ming had lived with his brother was knowledge he couldn’t even forget because he never knew in the first place. Nie Mingjue never asked, and neither did Nie Huaisang. It took Wei Ying meeting other children to realize that nine-year-olds never talked the way Wei Ming did. They didn’t know facts about monsters, and they certainly never talked about demons. Yet Wei Ming had extensive knowledge since who knows how long, and no one ever questioned it.
Whether that was because Wei Ming knew how to subvert the conversation or because they simply never asked, that was a question no one could really answer. Not even Wei Wuxian, for all that he loved his Gēge, knew where to start.
Sensing the sudden dip in Wei Wuxian’s mood, Nie Huaisang brightened as much as he could, “Well it doesn’t even matter does it? He’s your brother, he’s my teacher- and he scares my brother to boot.”
Wei Wuxian laughed, if a little weakly, “He told me he actually enjoys it a little.”
Jiang Wanyin winced, “Isn’t your brother known to your Sect as the Punisher?”
With an enthusiastic nod from both Nie Sect members, they proceeded to scare everyone else by saying, “300 copies of Consequence, 200 paces across the hills and back in three days and patrolls in three of the Qinghe protected lands by the end of two weeks!”
They silently cackled as the other Sect disciples paled at the prospect.
<page break heyho>
After gently teasing Wangji of his interaction with Wei Wuxian, Lan Xichen bid his brother a good night as he suddenly remembered what he had sought the older Wei out for. The technique he used was quite unique and not among any technique he had some knowledge of, though granted it could purely be because he himself was not well learned in any but the Lan Sect style. Regardless, he was hoping to have a discussion about it and to possibly inquire if the older Wei would use his expertise to critique his own swordsmanship.
He was just about to do just that before he heard an audible thunk and grunt of pain from within the room Wei Ming had been assigned for his stay here.
Lan Xichen abruptly opened the door out of instinct, blinking in surprise to find Wei Ming wielding a brush in his hand and a paper in the other, dark eyes roving the entire wooden table with apprehension.
“Mn?” Wei Ming looked up with a raised eyebrow. “Oh, Zewu-jun. I was under the impression you had retired for the night.”
“I had initially been hoping to discuss swordsmanship with you before,” Lan Xichen looked at the papers, elegant calligraphy lining each and every one save for the large stack of paper at the corner of the table. “I admit, however, that this seems to take my interest far more at the moment.”
“Ah, well.” Wei Ming gestured to the papers. “These are lesson plans, notes if you will- but plans all the same.”
“...Lesson plans?”
Wei Ming nodded seriously, “It’s important for a teacher to understand what they are teaching every day, so as not to leave anything important out.”
“Ah…apologies, considering the subject you are teaching I thought-”
“To be fair, the material I’m teaching does require less theory than practical. Had I been teaching something akin to a bestiary subject or perhaps even medicinal practices, I wouldn’t be as extensive as this,” Wei Ming once again gestured to the large stacks. “This is not the case however, as I am teaching fighting techniques. I also have to come up with tests and exams, sort the students into pairs for sparing purposes, note everyone’s strengths and weaknesses, formulate proper lectures concerning the techniques I am teaching- that sort of thing. Besides the fact that I’m considering adding other techniques so that my students are well informed.”
Though granted the stuff he was doing was easier than when he had been Qing Jing Peak’s head disciple, the paperwork for that Sect was monstrous because of the additional lessons for music and the tactitionary course. Both were a requirement as a disciple of Qing Jing, as they were the main jack of trades within Cang Qiong as their roles were both in support and primary fighters when it came to battles. This was especially true during the pseudo war between Lou Binghe’s forces and during the battle with Tianlang-jun. Shizun would normally do most of the work but with the absence of Lou Binghe, a lot of it arrived to Ming Fan and he didn’t have the heart to inquire about it.
After Binghe’s return Ming Fan just never thought to question it anymore, Shizun was happy and he got used to the workload. It wasn’t as if he never had help either, he took charge of the male disciples while Ning Yingying took charge of the females. After Lou Binghe soon took up some work every now and then; it’s just the way things were after...After.
Wei Ming blinked after returning from his thoughts, “Hundreds of apologies, may Zewu-jun repeat himself?”
Lan Xichen smiled, “Of course, I only wished to ask if you would be open to giving me advice on my swordsmanship? Nie Mingjue mentioned before that your advice had helped him improve his saber technique and I would very much like to also improve myself now that the opportunity is open to me.”
“Or perhaps Xichen-ge would not like to be left behind by his dîdi?” Wei Ming said with an amused smile.
At this Lan Xichen’s ears colored slightly even as he smiled neutrally, “That is also a motivation, but I believe no brother would want their younger brother to leave them behind.”
“Very well, when Zewu-jun is free; we shall spar.” Wei Ming’s lips quirked. “I would also like to know if my observations are correct.”
“Let us have this spar soon Teacher Wei, thank you for your time.” Lan Xichen stood and dipped his head slightly before exiting with a final ‘good night’.
<page break hey-ho>
“Gege what are you doing?”
Wei Ming was currently in the Lan Sect library, pouring over old books that amused him and greatly reminded him of some of the brighter moments in his past life. Namely: The Resentment of Chunshan. The book itself was poor in terms of accuracy, but amusing nonetheless. He and the other disciples found themselves horrified and amused by the story described within. Even more so when the Song of BingQiu became popular among the locals.
He was also starring an old map of the land, clearly looked into by someone considering the small hand-written notes in black ink. The penmanship was oddly familiar but Wei Ming couldn’t exactly remember where.
There was also an area circled, the name Cang Qiong Sect written in careful script.
“What do you think?” He asked absentmindedly, fingers brushing over the circled area. It was far from the other Sects, inaccessible due to the mountain ranges that circled it. If one tried, they’d have to do so by climb rather than sword. The air would be thinner; challenging even for a Cultivator.
He vaguely wondered if the land had changed so much as to the sudden growth of mountains around the Cang Qiong Sect area.
“Looks like someone was trying to look for the mythical Cang Qiong Sect,” Wei Ying peered over his brother’s shoulder. Tilting his head at the map. “Weird.”
“Oh? How so?”
“Eh,” Wei Ying shrugged as he sat next to him. “Cause it’s just a legend, no one actually knows if the Cang Qiong Sect is still around. If it ever was around. I mean- demons, the War- it’s described in pretty poetry and details, but other than that- most people write it off as a fantasy since no one’s ever seen it.”
Wei Ming considered the next question carefully, “What do you believe?”
“I think there’s some truth to it,” To himself, Wei Ying vaguely wondered why the sudden inquiry. His brother had no interest in the stories that were normally told to children, he had been busy at the time and Wei Ying only knew of it because the Nie Brothers held a rather large collection of the stories of the illustrious Cang Qiong Sect and one of their most famous Lords: Shen Qingqiu. Nie Huaisang had admitted that most of these were his brother’s, and he himself was promptly amused. Now he was starting to wonder. The stories of the Cang Qiong Sect were often used for the children of Cultivators as lessons, Lan Sect used it too if what was in the library was any indication- it was an impressive collection.
Though it did have nothing on Sect Leader Nie’s secret collection of nearly all the tales of the General from Qing Jing Peak: Huázháo-jun.
“Hm, perhaps,” Wei Ming noted non-committedly, shaking his head. “Let’s talk about what to do for tomorrow.”
“Mn! You should teach-“
[Fun fact about this one up here! In this version of the story, MF brings WWX's body up through the mountains to Cang Qiong Sect in the hopes that he could get help in reviving his brother, thereby re-meeting with his fellow disciples of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect]
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sunnymusingsao3 · 3 years
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⭐ please mr director! release the morgwen cut....(where'd your headcanons for gwen come from, what are some challenges you have re: writing them)
Behind the Scenes: Fanfic Edition
Essay incoming! This one got long as well!
Oh bless you for asking me about this; she once was a true love of mine is one of my favorite things I've ever written, and I am always 110% ready to scream about the things that inspired it!
So the answer to your second question goes hand-in-hand with the answer to the first actually, so I'm gonna answer these out of order!
The biggest challenge with these two is mostly just how little we have in canon in regards to their relationship, background, history, and other such information that would typically be very helpful for writing a canon character-- or how two of them relate-- for a fanfic!
With Morgana, we have a little bit, but she's also not often allowed-- in the show, at least-- to be a character outside of being a villain for our heroes to fight, so one challenge with her is understanding what she does in her day-to-day life. What is she doing when she isn't advancing the plot via attempted fratricide, or directly opposing Merlin in some way? Since she can't possibly always be sitting in her tower rubbing her hands together maniacally (or pulling a BBC Merlin and smirking in full view of everyone who suspects her) I want to know what kinds of things she likes to do when she's not in court, or tackling the Big Themes Of The Show.
She's clearly moved on from lessons with Merlin, so she is not spending all her time studying-- though I do think she must be self-taught in shadow magic, so perhaps some days are spent on magic study-- and ToA is set before Morgana starts being a general-purpose villain to throw into your knight's tale (because as any medieval male writer will tell you, there is nothing scarier than a woman with power).
The way I see it, then, is that in order to establish this close friendship that Wizards says Guinevere and Morgana have, a good chunk of Morgana's time must be spent around Guinevere. And for a Guinevere who, in my headcanon, married Arthur for strategic reasons? For a Guinevere who's got a crush on Morgana the size of Arthur's ego? Spending that much time with her is bound to cause some good old fashioned yearning.
And this is where we get into my headcanons for Guinevere. As I said above, the biggest challenge is how little information we have about Guinevere. She's fallen victim to the Disposable Woman trope, and while I don't inherently fault ToA for that (they have plenty of other very strong and developed ladies), it does leave her with very little character beyond "she was Arthur's wife," and "she was Morgana's best friend." (Short sidenote: I really appreciate the Crusading Widower page on TV Tropes's site, for pointing out that the crusading widower is often an anti-hero or even an anti-villain because I think that's absolutely right when it comes to Arthur).
Anyway, all this to say, since there's so little canon, it's basically a perfect sandbox for fanfic writers to come in and have the time of their lives lol, so this is what I have done!
I am a huge Arthuriana nerd (though I am hardly an expert by any means; I'm just a simple fan who enjoys the stories) so when I saw Wizards utilize wildly famous Arthurian characters, I rather lost my mind over the potential.
I have so many headcanons about how to merge ToA and a bunch of Arthuriana plot points/tropes/characterizations, but for the purposes of this, I will stick to Guinevere!
The main way I went about making headcanons for ToA's Guinevere, was to look at what legends I knew about her and see what could apply to the Wizards canon, without contradicting it, in order to fill in these huge gaps.
For example, we know absolutely nothing about where Guinevere came from, so I kept her father and her home city from legend. Since her mother is not even mentioned in the legends, I also translated that over to an absence of her mother in the story, while also giving her at least a mention, as I think she'd be important to Guinevere, even if she hadn't really gotten to meet her properly. I really wanted this story to highlight the responsibilities that Guinevere has within her roles as wife and medieval royal woman, and I think having her consider what her mother would have done in her shoes tied into that theme of Guinevere wondering "what kind of woman do I want to become?" as she grew up. This is also why Igraine is given a moment in the fic as well; Guinevere's relationships with the women around her is something which I think deserves attention, even in a fic where I'm mostly just trying to establish a general timeline and characterization for Guinevere as a whole.
The idea for Guin's mother to have fallen in battle, in fact, came from ToA establishing that some of the background Camelot knights are men, and some are women, and it's treated as perfectly normal, as far as I noticed. Claire has that one line about a "boy's club," but I do think that it's actually just that she couldn't compete because she wasn't registered as a knight. I might be wrong about that, but I really liked the idea of there being knights in Camelot who are women, and I wanted to keep that in the fic I was writing. Therefore, I think that Guinevere's mother was both a queen and a knight, or, at least, a skilled warrior. Similarly, I also think that Guinevere's father is most known for his relationship with the Pendragons in legend. This then translated to her father being the diplomat, to tie in with her mother being the fighter. I didn't dwell too much on that because, again, the fic was meant to focus on Guinevere, and it had already gotten longer than I'd meant for it to. But, I tried to give a hint at that in the way that Guinevere's father is the one who physically takes Guin's bow, and puts a crown in her hands instead. He's not saying she can't be a fighter, but he is emphasizing that she also needs to be ready to appear in other kingdoms in a formal setting. I like to think that Leodegrance would have wanted Guinevere to have both options, to be a bit more well-rounded than he or her mother were.
Brief addition before I move on to the next phase of the fic: I chose a bow because when the stalkling advances on her, she tries using a stick to fight it off, but shows a bit of an ineptitude at using a weapon like that. Since I didn't want that to turn into "she's a weak royal who couldn't fight at all," especially since it seems to me that most of the time, being royal in the Middle Ages also meant receiving fight training, I chose for her to be better at ranged weapons, like bows, crossbows, maybe even spear throwing.
At any rate, my headcanons from there were created in a similar fashion to the ones mentioned above; I used a mixture of ToA canon (ex: Arthur, Morgana, and Guinevere being shown as childhood friends; Morgana and Guinevere spending time in the woods) and Arthuriana (ex: pulling the sword in the stone, losing it, getting it reforged by Nimue; Leodegrance bringing the round table as Guinevere's dowry; Merlin being a royal advisor).
Now, since this isn't much of a Morgwen cut just yet (so sorry omg), I wanted to skip ahead to the Morgwen pining moments, to talk about them!
The juxtaposition between a burning candle flame representing her love for Morgana, and an uncomfortable midnight cuddle from Arthur (where she can't even bring herself to scratch her nose-- an irritant meant to heighten that feeling of discomfort) representing her relationship with him, is one of my favorite ways to examine the wild difference in how Guinevere sees both relationships. One is untouchable but beautiful, interesting. It burns, and it's bright, and getting too near it hurts too bad.
And then on the other hand, one is there always, it's inescapable, but mostly sweet, though it comes up short of providing comfort. It's not bad, and it's even gentle, and Arthur does love her, but she married him for diplomacy. She married him because it's expected, and it keeps her safe.
(Which, sidenote: I think some stories work well with period-accurate homophobia, and others do not. This is one I would not have put period-accurate homophobia in, as it's fantasy and legend, and I think it's more interesting if Guinevere can't pick Morgana not because of Morgana also being a woman, but because Guinevere is bound by her duties as a royal).
The last thing I wanna talk about is that I have considered writing another Morgwen fic, but I'm just not sure what kind of plot hook or idea I'd like to pursue. So, if there's interest, or any requests that someone might have for these two, please do feel free to ask away! I think their relationship is really interesting, and I'd be delighted to keep writing for them. Guinevere is a fascinating character in particular, and is one who I think, even in legend, sometimes gets boiled down a lot, so I wanna add some depth back into her character, and give her a chance to shine!
Thank you so much for asking, and if there's anything else you're curious about, don't hesitate to send it my way! Like I said, I am always happy to holler about Guinevere and Morgwen! <3
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(re)Watching Magia Record S1 - part 6
part 5 here
Hello everyone, welcome back! Today, we will be watching episode 6. Last time, some really weird (well, weirder than normal), pre-established rule breaking things happened to some of our girls. How come? Is Kaede going to be alright? Will Yachiyo fill Iroha in on what happened? We'll have to watch to find out.
Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story: Magia Record S1 episode 6
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We open this episode with a, uhhh... alluring...? Witch show. A group of unknown magical girls is hunting this witch. Seeing the amount of familiars, the girls in front decide to revise their plan, but the girl called Felicia just barges right in, forcing her team to follow after her.
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Seems this girl has a real beef with witches.
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Hey, Tsuruno's now in the opening!
Rather than continuing the scene before the opening, we are now back to Iroha, who stayed over at Yachiyo's place after the events from the previous episode.
The two eat breakfast, and we learn that Yachiyo's place used to be a bording house. That explains why it's so big.
Iroha thanks Yachiyo for cleaning her Soul Gem, to which Yachiyo is like "?" for a moment before connecting the dots. As it stands, it seems like Iroha doesn't know what happened and Yachiyo's not telling her either. On the one hand, that seems like a bad idea, on the other, well, we saw Kaede's reaction.
Yachiyo changes subject to Iroha's plans for today.
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...thanks, Takarazaki Milk, for reminding us where Iroha's from.
Iroha's going to be investigating Kamihama some more, so Yachiyo advises her to keep being a magical girl a secret as best as she can, particularly if she's going east beyond Chuo Ward. Wonder why the direction matters.
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...not really important, but I'm bothered I can't remember what this place is.
Iroha takes a walk around Sankyo Ward looking for Ui, finally arriving at a weeeird part of town.
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Other than telling her not to walk around at night, maybe Yachiyo should've told her not to enter places that seem out of a horror movie. Also, maybe Iroha's just so used to witch Labyrinths this doesn't even register as bizarre to her anymore. (It's probably just Shaft being Shaft).
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This... really is almost a Labyrinth, isn't it.
This couldn't get more suspicious if it tried. It might as well have someone screaming "scam!".
Iroha is offered a bottle and hesitates to accept until she sees
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the kid berserker from before drinking it.
Still, I get Felicia, but did your parents not teach you not to accept things from strangers, Iroha?
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But well, for the moment, the water itself seems to be fine, other than it being drugs. No way this'll blow up on their faces or anything.
In any case, Iroha goes back to her wandering. It seems she's in Kosho Ward right now.
Now, not only did Iroha accept things from strangers, she also did the one thing Yachiyo warned her about: she got outed as a magical girl.
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Good thing the Soul Gem rings work as name tags too. It's written "Felicia".
Iroha's now being extorted by a 13 y.o.
Not that she's that much older, but still.
Thankfully(?) she's saved by a witch appearing.
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This witch seems a bit like the one on the start of the episode. Felicia, of course, doesn't even need Iroha's help, she just wrecks everything with her big ol' hammer. Rather, it's more dangerous for Iroha herself to be there lol
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Look at that cute smile.
Felicia goes right back to extorting... I mean, asking Iroha for payment. Iroha makes the fair point that she didn't ask for her help, but Felicia makes the even fairer point that a weakling like her would be dead if she hadn't, so Iroha finds herself with no choice but to pay up... in ice cream. Seems her allowance's running dry from coming to Kamihama every day.
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The two go for some ice cream and start bonding. This girl is Felicia Mitsuki, and she makes a living as a mercenary who takes on jobs from other magical girls.
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While Iroha's out doing ill-advised things and making new friends, Yachiyo's dropping by the Coordinator's and happens to overhear the team who had hired Felicia before, and...
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Oh my god Mitama what have you done this time. This is blasphemy towards food, you know.
Alas, a wanted sign is kinda too much for a simple warning, don't you think?
Seems like Felicia's (un)famous for her berserker tendencies.
Yachiyo came here to hear some new information about the rumors, but first she has to deal with a new guest.
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Ohhh talking about food, look who's here. It's Kyoko!
Apparently, Kyoko came here due to the decrease in witches in the surrounding regions. She expected she'd get into trouble hunting witches in another magical girl's territory, but Yachiyo says it's fine as long as she doesn't pick a fight with anybody. She's let down by how easy it was but says she'll just do whatever then. While she's at it, she also pokes at the same thing Mami said about someone gathering witches, but Yachiyo shoots her down right away. Did Kyoko hear something from Mami or did Kyuubei tell her this?
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Back to Iroha and Felicia, the two are still on their lucky strike. Hey, seems the Lucky Owl Water wasn't a scam after all!
The two just keep on winning and winning (also who let kids into casino) and as expected Iroha's starting to get suspicious about their unnatural luck.
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"I still got a dupe"
After winning amounts of money that would probably make broke college student Yachiyo jealous, the two go out to have lunch.
Felicia compliments Iroha's guts to enter the east like that, and Iroha takes the opportunity to ask her if she knows her sister. (not related but the way the table is set gives a great sense of the difference in age and tastes between these two. Iroha's a simple and responsible girl, so her food is only japanese cuisine and problably only as much as she can eat, while Felicia is a kid who probably never had this amount of money, so it looks like she just went ahead and ordered everything she wanted to eat.)
Felicia offers making an exclusive contract with Iroha, and Iroha asks why is Felicia even a mercenary at all. Felicia says if she doesn't work she can't eat, so Iroha asks where are her parents, to which Felicia responds, well...
They're dead. They were killed by a witch. That explains why Felicia's got a thing with witches.
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As if she had guessed the uncomfortable atmosphere, Yachiyo calls. Iroha glances hesitatingly a moment at Felicia before answering. Seems Yachiyo has information about a new rumor.
...wait, isn't Lucky Owl Water the thing Felicia and Iroha drank just earlier? So it was a scam after all!
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Perfect fashion sense there, Tsuruno.
Iroha and Felicia go meet up with Tsuruno and Yachiyo. Tsuruno knows who Felicia is, and Felicia knows who Yachiyo is, but has no idea about Tsuruno. While Tsuruno protests this, Yachiyo scolds Iroha for failing her one job, and warns her about Felicia's berserker tendencies.
Yachiyo confirms that Iroha has drank the Lucky Owl Water, and tells her the contents of the rumor about it. So basically, once you drink it, 24 lucky things will happen to you and after these 24 things are over a barrage of bad luck will follow. Yachiyo doesn't know what that "bad luck" actually entails, but she has found that even magical girls have gone missing this time.
Felicia thinks all this is a bunch of nonsense so Yachiyo tells her to just go away then. Felicia does just that, but kind-hearted Iroha stops her from going away by hiring her.
Felicia names her prices and Iroha's about to pay, but Yachiyo tells her to make it something besides money, so Iroha offers making Felicia dinner instead.
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Look at her, Felicia really is a nice kid. Not only did she half her price instead of doubling it if it's not a witch, she's totally fine with being paid in food. I mean, there is the fact that she needs to work to eat but... she's not cut out for running a mercenary business.
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Still, for the moment, Felicia's not part of the team.
Iroha and co. go back to where Iroha drank the Lucky Owl Water and, although everyone's still blissfully unaware of how bizarre this place is, it seems they now can see the familiars(?) as familiars. Is it that thing? The one where you can only perceive what you are looking for?
Felicia picks a fight with the... uh... Thing, please give us a name anime, and it disappears. Yachiyo chides Felicia for jumping the gun, and the two start fighting.
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*Kaos noises*
Tsuruno appropriately cuts in, and Yachiyo theorizes that, just like the previous times, they'll have to find and beat the rumor's true form in order to undo it. Preferably before Iroha and Felicia's luck runs out.
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Aaand Kyoko was listening in on them.
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Iroha and co. start investigating the rumor. Seems the storyteller from the scenes explaining the contents of the rumors aren't just for show, they actually exist, though the girls hearing the rumor from it don't seem to notice it's not human.
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Oh, there. That'd explain why Iroha and Felicia didn't notice the Owl Water the first time... still doesn't excuse them from accepting things from strangers though, lol
...look at Yachiyo's cool composure as she pins down poor Felicia. Brutal.
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The girls chase after the storyteller familiar. Now peeps, if you've been paying close attention, you'll notice this episode has been counting down Iroha's and Felicia's luck ever since they drank the Lucky Owl Water. Neat, right? I won't post all of them since 24 is a lot, but did you guys catch it?
Anyways,
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while chasing down the familiar, the girls are surrounded by a group of weirdos in hoods. Managing to string together a sentence with their impeccable coordination, they tell our girls they are obstructing the Magius's plans, whoever that is, by chasing the Rumor. It's just for a moment, but the screen flashes that one paper slip that's slapped everywhere there's rumors involved. I'm also pretty sure there's one inside Yachiyo's notebook too.
The group continues their speech and Yachiyo conveniently translates for us: they're saying they'll give them the water everyday, as long as they keep away from the Rumor.
Tsuruno protests that there are magical girls who got caught up in this rumor, but the group continue with their talk of Magius and telling them not to interfere.
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I really like the panning in this one shot. You clearly get a sense of how while the older girls, Yachiyo and Tsuruno, know something's up and are willing to bonk the weirdos, Iroha and Felicia are in doubt about what these girls are saying. Their mind spaces are so different separating them just with the shadows wasn't enough: they had to be in different frames altogether.
...I don't think the person who decided on this thought that far, but still.
Anyway, Felicia bites their bait and asks about the "all witches will disappear" part. The weirdos, who know about Felicia, say they'll hire her. The reward? The elimination of all witches.
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Too bad Iroha, seems your handmade dinner wasn't an appetizing enough reward.
So! Felicia decided to go with these weirdos, the Wings of the Magius, who say they know a way to get rid of all witches. Well... that'd better be a more efficient method than the one Suzune thought, or else they're not getting anywhere.
Going by what they said, these girls have something to do with the rumors... or rather, Rumors, because that's not confusing at all. They also said something about salvation, so they probably have something to do with the rampant dream-ads that the magical girls outside Kamihama are having. How rude. I wonder how much would you have to pay for one of those?
Jokes aside, with this, we finally have a new lead on the weird things going on in Kamihama. And not only us, either. Kyoko also learnt something about the Rumors. Which brings up the question: where is Mami? She should be investigating Kamihama, but she hasn't shown up since she tried to shoot Iroha. Weird.
Well, the only way to answer the obscene amount of questions this show likes to bring up is by watching, but before I finish this up I'd like to write down the numbers on this episode:
24-23: Felicia's ice cream's package; 23-22: raffle ticket; 22-21: raffle drawing; 21-20: falling coins; 20-19: slot machine's label; 19-18: bet nº; 18-17: fever!; 17-16: Magireco's game currency (lol); 16-15: the table's number; 15-14: the paper one of the familiars is holding; 14-13: formed by the light on the ground.
Nothing lucky happens after that one, so I think these are the ones in this episode. I feel this was the first time in all my rewatches I caught the one on Felicia's ice cream and the one the familiar was holding, so maybe I got some of that luck too, haha.
This ran on longer than I thought it would for Felicia's introduction episode. I'll be releasing you people from this barrage of text now, so I hope I'll still see you next time when we watch episode 7. Have a good morning/afternoon/evening! Bye-bye!
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artificialqueens · 4 years
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Signed, Sealed, Delivered, Chapter 2 (Crygi, Jan x Nicky) - Joley
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Crystal had spent two days trying to figure out how to explain this new situation to Gigi. She considered testing the waters by joking about it, then thought maybe she should just rip the Band-Aid off and tell her outright. But any train of thought drove her right into a wall. And Jan wasn’t much help either.
“Maybe you could text her,” Jan had mused offhandedly. She was trying to help as much as she could – her suggestion was made while she was sitting in front of her laptop researching what actually went into planning a wedding, method acting, if you will. They were committed to this lie now, it seemed like there was no choice but to go all in.
“Text her?!” Crystal’s eyes were wide, she couldn’t possibly be serious. “I can’t just be like, ‘Hey Geege, Jan told Nicky we’re getting married lol T-T-Y-L and hope for the best.”
“Well, obviously not that, no one says T-T-Y-L anymore.”
“Jan!”
Jan sighed, spinning her desk chair around to face her. “I’m sorry, but I already have a lot of ground to cover. Telling Gigi is your job.”
Crystal threw her head back and whined. “But I don’t wanna.”
“Would you rather I do it?”
She quickly put her hands up in surrender. “No, no, I got it,” she assured. “She’s still at the studio, I’ll just… go there and tell her when she’s finished. I’ll call you if I need backup.”
“Get it done, sis.” Jan hummed before turning back to the screen, mumbling under her breath about how unreasonably expensive wedding bouquets are. “They’re flowers. Why would you pay that much for fucking flowers?”
And Crystal had hoped the walk she took from there to the studio would help her build her nerve, but she was hit with a new wave of anxiety the moment Gigi saw her.
Gigi waved her over, not straying from her work station. “I’ll be about another fifteen minutes or so, but you can just hang out if you don’t mind waiting.”
“Oh, yeah, no that’s fine,” she assured, sitting at one of the empty stations. On a normal day, she would enjoy watching Gigi at work. There was something almost magical about watching someone create art they were passionate about that Crystal found absolutely entrancing. Plus, it was Gigi – she could watch her read the phone book.
“So, what’s up with you?” Gigi asked casually, holding up two different types of lace against white fabric.
Crystal wasn’t sure what she opened her mouth to say, but she ended up blurting out, “We need to pretend to be getting married when Nicky comes here to visit Jan.”
That stopped Gigi in her tracks. She set the lace down and turned to face her friend. “I’m sorry, what?”
Crystal took a deep breath, feeling almost relieved that she had ripped the bandage off, but still worried that she wouldn’t be able to explain herself in a way that would actually get the other girl on board with this charade. “So… here’s the thing. Jan obviously really wants to see Nicky in person, but they haven’t been able to commit to a plan. So I, being the super smart person I am, suggested she tell her there’s an event coming up that she should fly out for. And… long story short that event is our wedding and now we’re along for the ride.”
Gigi blinked, taking the time to digest the information she received. “What the fuck, Crystal?” She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “Well, when’s the ‘wedding?’”
“In like, a month. Maybe two.”
With her lips still in a fine line, Gigi let out a strangled noise of frustration. “In a month or two,” she repeated, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. “You know what? Fuck it, let’s do what we have to do.”
Crystal felt a massive weight lift from her chest and she exhaled deeply. “Really?”
“I mean, I’m never gonna let you hear the end of it, but yeah. Sure. Why not?” She shrugged. Glancing over at her dress, she decided she’d done enough work for the day. “I guess we better reconvene with Jan then.”
As she pushed herself back to her feet, Crystal still felt a little lightheaded. Sure, she was thanking every possible deity that Gigi was on board with this half-baked scheme, but now she would have far fewer chances to suppress and ignore her feelings. “Yeah, she’ll definitely appreciate that.”
When they did return to the apartment, Jan was still on her laptop in her room, deeply immersed in her research. It took Crystal and Gigi getting right in front of her for her to even become aware of her presence. “Oh, hey guys,” she greeted, setting her laptop next to her on the bed before looking at Crystal. “Did you tell her?”
“Very subtle, Jan,” Crystal retorted flatly. “But yes, I told her.”
“When did you tell Nicky to come here?” Gigi asked.
Jan shrugged. “I didn’t give a specific date yet. So, you know, work that out amongst yourselves. Also, you guys should get registered at some stores. At least that way if someone stumbles upon it, you could get like… a toaster or something.”
“I do love toast,” Gigi mused. “But I wanna know just how far we’re taking this. Like, are Crystal and I gonna pretend to get married? Do we break up? Or are you gonna wait til after you get Nicky in bed with you and then tell her the truth?”
“I… haven’t actually gotten that far yet,” she admitted. “I don’t think we should stage a fake wedding, though. Because then you guys are just gonna have to keep up the act indefinitely or get a fake divorce. We’ll work it out as we keep going.”
Crystal leaned against Jan’s desk, finally coming to terms with the fact that the three of them were definitely not backing out of this, that there was no chance of just scrapping the plan and calling it a day. “So other than that, what do we need to do?”
Jan picked her laptop back up. “We need to make a couple of invitations, I figure we could just get one or two free samples, just to send one to Nicky and keep one for our own records. Crystal needs to rent or borrow a dress, and we should probably go through the motions of planning a wedding without like, going fifty thousand dollars in debt.”
“Rings!” Gigi suddenly exclaimed. “What are we gonna do about rings? That’s a pretty fucking important part of being engaged.”
Crystal and Jan looked at each other, both of them searching for an answer, but there was the slightest bit of amusement in their expressions when it became clear that Gigi was now taking this as seriously as they were. “I’m sure we could get some convincing fake ones online. It’s not like she’s a professional jewelry appraiser,” Jan suggested.
“I’m not wearing something that’ll turn my finger green,” Gigi warned with a grave deadpan. “I’ll see if my mom has anything we can borrow. She has a collection of vintage and like, random, unique jewelry. I’m sure she’ll let me temporarily poach something off of her.”
Jan arched her brow. “So you’re gonna rope her into this too? Or are you gonna give her some other excuse?”
That gave Gigi pause, and she realized she was either going to bring another person into the party or dig all of them into a deeper hole. “I should probably just tell her,” she decided, the other two girls nodding in agreement.
“I would really like to watch this conversation take place,” Crystal piped up.
“Well, why don’t you guys do that? I’ve got a call with Nicky in ten,” Jan chimed in, looking at her phone.
“Well, far be it for us to interrupt your sexy Skype session,” Gigi retorted with a soft laugh. “Come, Crystal,” she curled her finger, and the two of them left Jan to her own devices.
Jan waved them off before getting up to fix her hair and makeup in the mirror, then moved her laptop to her desk so she could look at the screen dead-on. When she saw Nicky calling, she beamed brightly as she answered it. “Well damn, what sort of runway are you dressed up for?”
Nicky laughed and looked down. Her hair was styled up in a bouffant and the normally straight locks were in gentle waves. Her makeup – which Jan knew she did herself – was immaculate beyond reproach. “Don’t jinx it, I had my friend take some headshots for my portfolio today. So, fingers crossed there are runways in the future.”
“It’s basically a given, I can just tell,” Jan grinned, her elbows propped on her desk and face in her hands. The look in her eyes was full to the brim with enamored adoration; even she was surprised that Nicky hadn’t picked up on her feelings. “And then I’ll get to say I knew you way back when.”
“Bitch please,” she scoffed. “If I ever get famous, you know I’m flying your ass out here first class. It wouldn’t be fun without my sweet Janice by my side.”
She blushed, her hands moving from her face to stroke her ponytail. Hearing Nicky call her ‘hers’ in any capacity had her heart ready to leap right out of her chest. It was times like that that made her wonder if it would’ve been that crazy for her to profess her feelings, if she was building all of this fear and anxiety over owning her feelings for nothing. It sometimes felt like a declaration of love was dancing on the tip of her tongue, threatening to slip past her lips.
But nothing was ever enough to get her over that hurdle. Her stubborn fear of rejection outweighed even common sense. So, instead, she kept it sweet and vague. “Well, you know I’ll always be there whether you like it or not.”
“I’m offended you think there’s a chance I wouldn’t.” Nicky scoffed playfully. “Anyway, what have you been up to today?”
“Oh, just… helping the girls with planning and stuff.” It was technically true, so she counted it as one less lie she was telling her. She found that the easiest thing to do was to just keep the focus off herself until she felt more confident in this charade. “It’s just boring details really. Have you been working on learning any songs lately?”
Nicky shook her head. “Actually, I was hoping to convince you to sing for me,” she cooed, batting her lashes in an over-exaggerated manner.
It was a look that Jan was an undeniable sucker for that look, and she was certain that Nicky had figured out that much. “I suppose I could do that. Any requests?”
Nicky tilted her head, taking a moment to think. “Can you do that one from Grease? The magic one?”
Jan giggled softly, knowing she meant ‘Those Magic Changes.’ The song had been buried in her repertoire for ages until she’d stumbled upon a clip of her performing it in her freshman year of college. She’d sent it to Nicky, just thinking it’d be a cute throwback of sorts, but her penpal absolutely loved it, and brought it up every time she could. She didn’t quite get it, but she was thrilled that there was something she could do that would make her so happy. “For you? Of course.”
Once Jan found the karaoke version of the song on her phone, she played it and sang along, serenading Nicky as she’d done a number of times. While it was night time in France, it was still late afternoon for her, so she wasn’t concerned about the volume. Though, even if it had been later, she probably would have risked it – it just wouldn’t be the same if she used her ‘neighbor friendly’ voice.
Nicky applauded cheerfully when Jan finished. Her eyes were bright and warm with the enthusiasm of a child who just heard their favorite bedtime story despite getting it every night. It simply never got old for her. “You’re going to have to sing me to sleep every night once we’re in the same time zone,” she mused.
“You know I will,” Jan smiled softly, her mind conjuring up the image of the two of them laying in bed together, cuddled up close after a long day. Nicky would hold her in her arms while she sang to her, then fall asleep in her embrace, knowing she would sleep soundly because she got to wake up in her arms. She already knew what she smelled like, thanks to her scented letters, and longed to be able to wake up to it lingering on her skin instead of soaked into paper, she just yearned for the day where none of her senses were deprived of the other girl.
“You’re so good to me,” she cooed.
“That’s right, now I’m going to remind you to take that makeup off.” She chuckled. “It’s like, a quarter to eleven where you are, I don’t want you falling asleep with all that on.”
Nicky snorted softly. “There it is.” She rolled her eyes fondly, then reached across her desk. “I came prepared for this,” she explained, holding up a pack of makeup wipes. And, just to assure her she was actually following through, she took a wipe out and began cleaning off her face.
Jan grinned triumphantly. “See? I knew I’d start to rub off on you sooner or later.” Of course, she was guilty of just as many bad habits, if not more. But that was beside the point as far as she was concerned. Either way, she watched until Nicky had finished cleaning off her face, and she almost found it unfair that someone could be even more flawless underneath the makeup.
“Okay, I’m going to get ready for bed before you lecture me about that too,” Nicky teased. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, bye!” She blew a kiss at the screen before they ended the call.
After the call ended, Jan closed her laptop and got up to look in the mirror. She stared at herself, silently questioning why she was like this, so hopelessly taken with someone that it clouded her judgement, that she let thoughts of her cloud both her waking thoughts and her dreams. It was as frustrating and painful as it was intoxicatingly addictive.
The only thing that pulled Jan from her train of thoughts was her phone ringing, and she nearly dropped it as she got it out from her pocket. “What’s up, Crystal? Please tell me this isn’t a crisis call.”
“No, no, everything’s fine,” Crystal quickly assured. “We’re at Gigi’s mom’s house and she invited us to stay for dinner. So I won’t be back for like… another couple hours, give or take.”
“Oh, okay, cool. I take it the ring issue was taken care of?”
Crystal beamed, admiring the ring on her finger as if Gigi had actually proposed to her with it. “Everything’s fine on that front, trust me. I have to send you a picture of this, you’re gonna die.”
Jan laughed lightly. “I’m sure I will. Go ahead, then enjoy your dinner. Tell Mama Goode I said hi.”
“Can do,” Crystal assured before hanging up, her eyes still trained on the ring. The ring itself was rose gold, the band carved with vine-like design. The diamond at the center was square-cut and surrounded by tiny, round diamonds. While just towing the line of being over-the-top, it had the sort of unique, quirky vibe that made it perfect for someone like her.
“It’s like it was made for you,” Gigi had told her when she picked it out. “It’s actually kind of spooky.” She had picked out a ring for herself as well, one that had more of an antique aesthetic that she appreciated. It was gold with diamonds embedded along the band, centering an ornately-bordered radiant-cut diamond. It wasn’t as flashy as Crystal’s, but she was drawn to the details in the ring.
When they put their left hands on the table next to each other, they noted that there weren’t any significant similarities between what they’d chosen, but both of their personalities seemed properly represented. “We should have a little hand-modeling shoot for this,” Gigi mused, figuring she could ask her mom for help with that as well. They had explained their circumstances right away, and much to their relief, Gigi’s mom had found their story to be very funny and agreed to help however they needed under the condition that she could retell the tale once everything was over with. Crystal was happy to agree to these conditions, while Gigi did so more reluctantly.
Crystal wouldn’t admit as much, but as she sat down for dinner with the Goodes, it felt all too right. Like she was just having a meal with her future wife and mother-in-law, the energy that flowed among the three of them was always so calm and natural, even-keeled and even quiet at times. It was a stark contrast from her own family dinners in both positive and negative ways. But when it came down to it, what stood out the most to her was that she felt so perfectly at home with them, she couldn’t help but wish this at least felt fake. It would be easier to bear when it was all over.
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missjanjie · 4 years
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Signed, Sealed, Delivered | (2/?)
Title: Signed, Sealed, Delivered Summary:   Jan is in love with her French pen pal, Nicky. Her roommate, Crystal, is in love with her best friend, Gigi. A (perhaps ill-thought out) plan emerges: give Nicky a reason to visit by inviting her to Crystal and Gigi’s wedding. With a month to pull the scheme together, no one knows how this will end up. Word Count: 2.9k (this chapter) / 5.8k (total) Relationship(s): Sportsdoll (Jan Sport/Nicky Doll), Crygi (Crystal Methyd/Gigi Goode Rating: T (so far)
Read on AO3
and thanks to @janssports for beta-ing~
-
Crystal had spent two days trying to figure out how to explain this new situation to Gigi. She considered testing the waters by joking about it, then thought maybe she should just rip the Band-Aid off and tell her outright. But any train of thought drove her right into a wall. And Jan wasn’t much help either.
“Maybe you could text her,” Jan had mused offhandedly. She was trying to help as much as she could – her suggestion was made while she was sitting in front of her laptop researching what actually went into planning a wedding, method acting, if you will. They were committed to this lie now, it seemed like there was no choice but to go all in.
“Text her?!” Crystal’s eyes were wide, she couldn’t possibly be serious. “I can’t just be like, ‘Hey Geege, Jan told Nicky we’re getting married lol T-T-Y-L and hope for the best.”
“Well, obviously not that, no one says T-T-Y-L anymore.”
“Jan!”
Jan sighed, spinning her desk chair around to face her. “I’m sorry, but I already have a lot of ground to cover. Telling Gigi is your job.”
Crystal threw her head back and whined. “But I don’t wanna.”
“Would you rather I do it?”
She quickly put her hands up in surrender. “No, no, I got it,” she assured. “She’s still at the studio, I’ll just… go there and tell her when she’s finished. I’ll call you if I need backup.”
“Get it done, sis.” Jan hummed before turning back to the screen, mumbling under her breath about how unreasonably expensive wedding bouquets are. “They’re flowers. Why would you pay that much for fucking flowers?”
And Crystal had hoped the walk she took from there to the studio would help her build her nerve, but she was hit with a new wave of anxiety the moment Gigi saw her.
Gigi waved her over, not straying from her work station. “I’ll be about another fifteen minutes or so, but you can just hang out if you don’t mind waiting.”
“Oh, yeah, no that’s fine,” she assured, sitting at one of the empty stations. On a normal day, she would enjoy watching Gigi at work. There was something almost magical about watching someone create art they were passionate about that Crystal found absolutely entrancing. Plus, it was Gigi – she could watch her read the phone book.
“So, what’s up with you?” Gigi asked casually, holding up two different types of lace against white fabric.
Crystal wasn’t sure what she opened her mouth to say, but she ended up blurting out, “We need to pretend to be getting married when Nicky comes here to visit Jan.”
That stopped Gigi in her tracks. She set the lace down and turned to face her friend. “I’m sorry, what?”
Crystal took a deep breath, feeling almost relieved that she had ripped the bandage off, but still worried that she wouldn’t be able to explain herself in a way that would actually get the other girl on board with this charade. “So… here’s the thing. Jan obviously really wants to see Nicky in person, but they haven’t been able to commit to a plan. So I, being the super smart person I am, suggested she tell her there’s an event coming up that she should fly out for. And… long story short that event is our wedding and now we’re along for the ride.”
Gigi blinked, taking the time to digest the information she received. “What the fuck, Crystal?” She pressed her lips together and shook her head. ��Well, when’s the ‘wedding?’”
“In like, a month. Maybe two.”
With her lips still in a fine line, Gigi let out a strangled noise of frustration. “In a month or two,” she repeated, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. “You know what? Fuck it, let’s do what we have to do.”
Crystal felt a massive weight lift from her chest and she exhaled deeply. “Really?”
“I mean, I’m never gonna let you hear the end of it, but yeah. Sure. Why not?” She shrugged. Glancing over at her dress, she decided she’d done enough work for the day. “I guess we better reconvene with Jan then.”
As she pushed herself back to her feet, Crystal still felt a little lightheaded. Sure, she was thanking every possible deity that Gigi was on board with this half-baked scheme, but now she would have far fewer chances to suppress and ignore her feelings. “Yeah, she’ll definitely appreciate that.”
When they did return to the apartment, Jan was still on her laptop in her room, deeply immersed in her research. It took Crystal and Gigi getting right in front of her for her to even become aware of her presence. “Oh, hey guys,” she greeted, setting her laptop next to her on the bed before looking at Crystal. “Did you tell her?”
“Very subtle, Jan,” Crystal retorted flatly. “But yes, I told her.”
“When did you tell Nicky to come here?” Gigi asked.
Jan shrugged. “I didn’t give a specific date yet. So, you know, work that out amongst yourselves. Also, you guys should get registered at some stores. At least that way if someone stumbles upon it, you could get like… a toaster or something.”
“I do love toast,” Gigi mused. “But I wanna know just how far we’re taking this. Like, are Crystal and I gonna pretend to get married? Do we break up? Or are you gonna wait til after you get Nicky in bed with you and then tell her the truth?”
“I… haven’t actually gotten that far yet,” she admitted. “I don’t think we should stage a fake wedding, though. Because then you guys are just gonna have to keep up the act indefinitely or get a fake divorce. We’ll work it out as we keep going.”
Crystal leaned against Jan’s desk, finally coming to terms with the fact that the three of them were definitely not backing out of this, that there was no chance of just scrapping the plan and calling it a day. “So other than that, what do we need to do?”
Jan picked her laptop back up. “We need to make a couple of invitations, I figure we could just get one or two free samples, just to send one to Nicky and keep one for our own records. Crystal needs to rent or borrow a dress, and we should probably go through the motions of planning a wedding without like, going fifty thousand dollars in debt.”
“Rings!” Gigi suddenly exclaimed. “What are we gonna do about rings? That’s a pretty fucking important part of being engaged.”
Crystal and Jan looked at each other, both of them searching for an answer, but there was the slightest bit of amusement in their expressions when it became clear that Gigi was now taking this as seriously as they were. “I’m sure we could get some convincing fake ones online. It’s not like she’s a professional jewelry appraiser,” Jan suggested.
“I’m not wearing something that’ll turn my finger green,” Gigi warned with a grave deadpan. “I’ll see if my mom has anything we can borrow. She has a collection of vintage and like, random, unique jewelry. I’m sure she’ll let me temporarily poach something off of her.”
Jan arched her brow. “So you’re gonna rope her into this too? Or are you gonna give her some other excuse?”
That gave Gigi pause, and she realized she was either going to bring another person into the party or dig all of them into a deeper hole. “I should probably just tell her,” she decided, the other two girls nodding in agreement.
“I would really like to watch this conversation take place,” Crystal piped up.
“Well, why don’t you guys do that? I’ve got a call with Nicky in ten,” Jan chimed in, looking at her phone.
“Well, far be it for us to interrupt your sexy Skype session,” Gigi retorted with a soft laugh. “Come, Crystal,” she curled her finger, and the two of them left Jan to her own devices.
Jan waved them off before getting up to fix her hair and makeup in the mirror, then moved her laptop to her desk so she could look at the screen dead-on. When she saw Nicky calling, she beamed brightly as she answered it. “Well damn, what sort of runway are you dressed up for?”
Nicky laughed and looked down. Her hair was styled up in a bouffant and the normally straight locks were in gentle waves. Her makeup – which Jan knew she did herself – was immaculate beyond reproach. “Don’t jinx it, I had my friend take some headshots for my portfolio today. So, fingers crossed there are runways in the future.”
“It’s basically a given, I can just tell,” Jan grinned, her elbows propped on her desk and face in her hands. The look in her eyes was full to the brim with enamored adoration; even she was surprised that Nicky hadn’t picked up on her feelings. “And then I’ll get to say I knew you way back when.”
“Bitch please,” she scoffed. “If I ever get famous, you know I’m flying your ass out here first class. It wouldn’t be fun without my sweet Janice by my side.”
She blushed, her hands moving from her face to stroke her ponytail. Hearing Nicky call her ‘hers’ in any capacity had her heart ready to leap right out of her chest. It was times like that that made her wonder if it would’ve been that crazy for her to profess her feelings, if she was building all of this fear and anxiety over owning her feelings for nothing. It sometimes felt like a declaration of love was dancing on the tip of her tongue, threatening to slip past her lips.
But nothing was ever enough to get her over that hurdle. Her stubborn fear of rejection outweighed even common sense. So, instead, she kept it sweet and vague. “Well, you know I’ll always be there whether you like it or not.”
“I’m offended you think there’s a chance I wouldn’t.” Nicky scoffed playfully. “Anyway, what have you been up to today?”
“Oh, just… helping the girls with planning and stuff.” It was technically true, so she counted it as one less lie she was telling her. She found that the easiest thing to do was to just keep the focus off herself until she felt more confident in this charade. “It’s just boring details really. Have you been working on learning any songs lately?”
Nicky shook her head. “Actually, I was hoping to convince you to sing for me,” she cooed, batting her lashes in an over-exaggerated manner.
It was a look that Jan was an undeniable sucker for that look, and she was certain that Nicky had figured out that much. “I suppose I could do that. Any requests?”
Nicky tilted her head, taking a moment to think. “Can you do that one from Grease? The magic one?”
Jan giggled softly, knowing she meant ‘Those Magic Changes.’ The song had been buried in her repertoire for ages until she’d stumbled upon a clip of her performing it in her freshman year of college. She’d sent it to Nicky, just thinking it’d be a cute throwback of sorts, but her penpal absolutely loved it, and brought it up every time she could. She didn’t quite get it, but she was thrilled that there was something she could do that would make her so happy. “For you? Of course.”
Once Jan found the karaoke version of the song on her phone, she played it and sang along, serenading Nicky as she’d done a number of times. While it was night time in France, it was still late afternoon for her, so she wasn’t concerned about the volume. Though, even if it had been later, she probably would have risked it – it just wouldn’t be the same if she used her ‘neighbor friendly’ voice.
Nicky applauded cheerfully when Jan finished. Her eyes were bright and warm with the enthusiasm of a child who just heard their favorite bedtime story despite getting it every night. It simply never got old for her. “You’re going to have to sing me to sleep every night once we’re in the same time zone,” she mused.
“You know I will,” Jan smiled softly, her mind conjuring up the image of the two of them laying in bed together, cuddled up close after a long day. Nicky would hold her in her arms while she sang to her, then fall asleep in her embrace, knowing she would sleep soundly because she got to wake up in her arms. She already knew what she smelled like, thanks to her scented letters, and longed to be able to wake up to it lingering on her skin instead of soaked into paper, she just yearned for the day where none of her senses were deprived of the other girl.
“You’re so good to me,” she cooed.
“That’s right, now I’m going to remind you to take that makeup off.” She chuckled. “It’s like, a quarter to eleven where you are, I don’t want you falling asleep with all that on.”
Nicky snorted softly. “There it is.” She rolled her eyes fondly, then reached across her desk. “I came prepared for this,” she explained, holding up a pack of makeup wipes. And, just to assure her she was actually following through, she took a wipe out and began cleaning off her face.
Jan grinned triumphantly. “See? I knew I’d start to rub off on you sooner or later.” Of course, she was guilty of just as many bad habits, if not more. But that was beside the point as far as she was concerned. Either way, she watched until Nicky had finished cleaning off her face, and she almost found it unfair that someone could be even more flawless underneath the makeup.
“Okay, I’m going to get ready for bed before you lecture me about that too,” Nicky teased. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, bye!” She blew a kiss at the screen before they ended the call.
After the call ended, Jan closed her laptop and got up to look in the mirror. She stared at herself, silently questioning why she was like this, so hopelessly taken with someone that it clouded her judgement, that she let thoughts of her cloud both her waking thoughts and her dreams. It was as frustrating and painful as it was intoxicatingly addictive.
The only thing that pulled Jan from her train of thoughts was her phone ringing, and she nearly dropped it as she got it out from her pocket. “What’s up, Crystal? Please tell me this isn’t a crisis call.”
“No, no, everything’s fine,” Crystal quickly assured. “We’re at Gigi’s mom’s house and she invited us to stay for dinner. So I won’t be back for like… another couple hours, give or take.”
“Oh, okay, cool. I take it the ring issue was taken care of?”
Crystal beamed, admiring the ring on her finger as if Gigi had actually proposed to her with it. “Everything’s fine on that front, trust me. I have to send you a picture of this, you’re gonna die.”
Jan laughed lightly. “I’m sure I will. Go ahead, then enjoy your dinner. Tell Mama Goode I said hi.”
“Can do,” Crystal assured before hanging up, her eyes still trained on the ring. The ring itself was rose gold, the band carved with vine-like design. The diamond at the center was square-cut and surrounded by tiny, round diamonds. While just towing the line of being over-the-top, it had the sort of unique, quirky vibe that made it perfect for someone like her.
“It’s like it was made for you,” Gigi had told her when she picked it out. “It’s actually kind of spooky.” She had picked out a ring for herself as well, one that had more of an antique aesthetic that she appreciated. It was gold with diamonds embedded along the band, centering an ornately-bordered radiant-cut diamond. It wasn’t as flashy as Crystal’s, but she was drawn to the details in the ring.
When they put their left hands on the table next to each other, they noted that there weren’t any significant similarities between what they’d chosen, but both of their personalities seemed properly represented. “We should have a little hand-modeling shoot for this,” Gigi mused, figuring she could ask her mom for help with that as well. They had explained their circumstances right away, and much to their relief, Gigi’s mom had found their story to be very funny and agreed to help however they needed under the condition that she could retell the tale once everything was over with. Crystal was happy to agree to these conditions, while Gigi did so more reluctantly.
Crystal wouldn’t admit as much, but as she sat down for dinner with the Goodes, it felt all too right. Like she was just having a meal with her future wife and mother-in-law, the energy that flowed among the three of them was always so calm and natural, even-keeled and even quiet at times. It was a stark contrast from her own family dinners in both positive and negative ways. But when it came down to it, what stood out the most to her was that she felt so perfectly at home with them, she couldn’t help but wish this at least felt fake. It would be easier to bear when it was all over.
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sweetcatastrophex · 4 years
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This kid I know just shared this tweet on Snapchat and said: “Crazy how everyone has to be Politically Correct to the point where you can (sic) let someone know they are extremely unhealthy.”
I replied: Lizzo is popular bc black fat women are finally being represented in mainstream pop music culture when they were previously ignored, despite their obvious talents. And who isn’t encouraging exercise and good diet? Bc she does… lol she posts about her exercises all the time. And I’m posting this on Tumblr to add: If there’s an obesity epidemic in the country, why does the onus fall on her, an individual, to coach every person through their diet and exercise habits? Why is that burden on her? I didn’t see Watkins criticize Rick Ross or Action Bronson for not encouraging exercise... Not to mention that obesity is linked to genetic factors. So again, why is it her job to denounce obesity rather than doctors’?
Gonna just log our convo. He said: It took her how long to do it. and it’s not healthy to be the size she is, there’s no excuse for putting your own body through something like that and then pass it off as normal. it’s not I said: but he said it is normal when he stated there’s an obesity epidemic. it’s a widespread issue. how do you know she hasn’t been exercising since she was 8? you don’t. bc she’s fat she can’t sing in public? why didn’t that guy criticize Rick Ross? Action Bronson? Fat Joe???? He said: I actually do know she hasn’t been exercising since 8 because I did my research for this exact situation. and she’s using her platform publicly to say being the size she is is okay. also rick ross has completely transformed himself and promotes a healthy lifestyle. and action and joe aren’t using their platform to encourage obesity I said: lmao that’s not a research based finding, you don’t know her therefore you don’t know her habits especially since she was little. rick ross rapping about drugs and crimes is promoting a health lifestyle? 😂 no. so why aren’t action bronson and fat joe telling people to exercise? according to this logic they should. He said: you are deflecting so hard right now it’s hilarious. here, go yell at him *links to tweet* I said: lmao i already am on the tweet and i’m not deflecting you just don’t like that i’m pointing out the double standard. why is it her job to denounce obesity? and not doctors? He said: its not her job, imo no celebrities should voice their opinions bc it can sway the gullible. however people gotta be retarded to not understand her weight is beyond unhealthy. shes also whats happening now, you cant dwell on the past. and doctors do but thanks to trump everyone thinks doctors dont know shit also u cant say shit about the rappers “promoting drugs” as if we both dont smoke 😂 I said: i think celebs should absolutely use their platforms to spread awareness about issues. and Fat Joes and Actions weight is also obviously unhealthy so where are the tweets about that? or news stories from the past? ... weed isn’t a drug in my eyes, or a healing one rather than harmful one. i’m talking about the oxys and xannys and cocaine that they all love to promote which actually contribute to deaths He said: we have evolved from past mistakes. i would think shed wanna better her future and this generation. guess i was wrong I said: is that why DJ Khaled is so famous? lol letting fat people perform is “past mistakes?” yikes. again, she exercises regularly and it’s not her job to influence an entire generation. and obesity is linked to genetics He said: that man is so unhealthy idk how he’s alive tbh. and no perform is not the problem (or something like that). the mistake is allowing yourself to get like that. and yes it is but it’s not 100% the cause. being careless is too I said: yeah but some people could exercise every day til they turn blue in the face and still not be skinny He said: me I said: doesn’t make them unworthy of performing He said: where are you getting this performance from. I have no problem with ppl performing whatever size or shape I said: bc lizzo is a performer. so then what’s the problem He said: she promotes her obesity. that’s not a good thing I said: how? how does she promote obesity? i see her posting about exercise and healthy eating 🤔 He said: got u hold on *links to Lizzo says body positivity has become too commercialized...* I said: body positivity is commercialized. i’ll ask again how is she promoting obesity? He said: did u read the article. heres another *links to blacknews.com/... legrand h clegg lizzo image of...* (TLDR black people flaunt their degradation, and other shocking misogynistic and racist comments) I said: yeah did u? lolll He said: yes I said: so you still haven’t said how she promotes obesity He said: the article explained it. shes normalizing it I said: but obesity is already normal since it’s widespread. then fat joe and dj khaled are promoting it too He said: yes they are. also i love how you deflect it to someone else. and just because something is widespread that doesn’t make it normal. thats like saying covid is normal and we should just live with it instead of do something about it I said: nah you should look up the definition of normal. and its not deflecting (lol) it’s pointing out the double standard. they’re all top charts musicians. so why call out lizzo and not dj khaled He said: i have plenty of times when he was relevant. why not accept the fact its serious I said: he’s still relevant he produces songs. again lizzo isn’t a doctor so the responsibility doesn’t fall on her. plus you said celebs shouldn’t comment on things He said: but they do anyway so if they dont like the backlash then they can hop off social media. and like you said theyre “performers” he doesn’t perform because of his health. no disrespect but you don’t seem like you researched khaled at all I said: 😂 you dont need to research dj khaled to know he’s been performing. again double standard to not bash him while ur at it. and celebs have every right to post whatever they want to just like me and u He said: oh so everyone is the same? I said: everyone has the same freedom of speech He said: correct. im talking about the obesity I said: what about it He said: how serious it is I said: it is serious and doctors should talk about it more He said: 100%
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mxliv-oftheendless · 5 years
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Ruining KISStory: A Filthy, Filthy Story About Benjamin Franklin
So in celebration of surviving my French midterm (my anxiety over it was through the roof for some damn reason), I decided I would post this crazy little thing for y’all! So in like, actual real life, Shane for a while did his own show called Ruining History, which I totally recommend for you guys to actually watch. So this is a spinoff of my KISS Unsolved AU, appropriately named Ruining KISStory (a name I’m super fucking proud of actually XD), in which our resident Queen of the Trolls Paul Stanley gives us his own creative spin on historical events. And yes, it’s going to be just as chaotic as Unsolved lol. Here’s the link to the original episode if you want to watch that first. 
And now, without further ado, enjoy!
Tag list: @cosmicrealmofkissteria​  @ashestoashesvvi​  @kategwidt​  @retronova​
[camera opens on Paul, who is sitting at a panel. A map of the world is hung up behind him. The sound of tuning violins plays in the background]
PAUL: Some people think history is boring. But I think Benjamin Franklin might have been in some weird sex parties!
[intro, then title card. Grand orchestra music plays in the background]
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[cuts back to the panel; the shot has been widened so the entire panel is visible. From left to right: Vinnie, Gene, Paul, Eric C., Tommy. Labels showing their names come up on screen]
PAUL: So what do you guys know about Ben Franklin?
VINNIE: … Kites!
ERIC: Ethics?
TOMMY: Oh! He used the kite and a key and discovered electricity!
GENE: Oh yeah, we learned about that in school.
PAUL: Pretty sure every school tells that story.
GENE: He also helped Nicholas Cage find treasure.
PAUL: [gives him a withering look before turning away] Okay. [Tommy laughs]
[screen cuts away to a title card:
CHAPTER I:
THE AMERICAN OVERACHIEVER
screen then cuts to animations as Paul narrates, while inspiring music you would hear in a film set during the American Revolution plays in the background]
PAUL [voiceover]: Born in 1706, Benjamin Franklin is often thought of as the model American citizen. Throughout his life, he was… well, he was a lot of things. Seriously, a lot of things.
[a list of text boxes appears on screen next to a picture of a statue of Benjamin Franklin:
POLITICIAN
AUTHOR
SCIENTIST
CIVIC LEADER
POSTMASTER
MEDIA MOGUL
INVENTOR
DIPLOMAT
I COULD KEEP GOING BUT YOU GET IT]
PAUL [voiceover]: Beyond all that, though, he seems like the kind of guy you wouldn’t mind having a drink with. But, if you did spend some quality time with Ben Franklin, things might get weird.
[cuts back to panel; Vinnie looks intrigued]
VINNIE: By weird, do you mean [waggles his eyebrows] weird or just eccentric-weird?
PAUL: I mean [waggles his eyebrows] weird.
ERIC: [looks a little nervous] Oh no… I really liked Ben Franklin as a kid.
GENE: Well, he’s gonna ruin the history books for ya, Eric.
TOMMY: Oh is that why it’s called Ruining History?
PAUL: Yep!
TOMMY: Nice, I like that.
PAUL: Thank you. [cuts back to animation sequence]
PAUL [voiceover]: In the years during and after America’s fight for independence, Franklin spent much of his time serving as a diplomat in Europe. And it’s a good thing he did. Author Walter Isaacson has argued that America wouldn’t have won the war without Franklin’s excellent diplomacy in France. It wasn’t all politics, though. At the time, Paris was regarded as one of the most cosmopolitan cities at that time in history. And a wave of cultural enlightenment paired with a strong economy gave the upper class the means to… well… [music intensifies] have many crazy, crazy, crazy… crazy nights…
But we’ll get to that in a second! Franklin seemed to find himself right at home in this environment. To give an idea of his bohemian life abroad, here’s a curious morning routine he picked up during his time in France.
GENE: I bet it was, powder on the balls. [Eric laughs]
PAUL: [snickering] Powder the wig, powder the balls.
TOMMY: Powder the balls, get out on the street, and do something! [Vinnie laughs]
PAUL [voiceover]: While writing to a friend of his, Franklin described his habit of taking what he called “air baths.” Quote, “I rise almost every morning and sit in my chamber without any clothes whatever, half an hour or an hour, according to the season, either reading or writing. The practice is not in the least bit painful, but on the contrary, agreeable.”
[cuts to the left side of the panel. Gene looks uncomfortable, while Vinnie just gives a raised eyebrow]
GENE: I don’t know what it was about how people wrote during this time, but describing sexual acts in this kinda language makes it dirtier than it actually is.
PAUL: There’s nothing sexual about this.
VINNIE: There’s no sexuality here, Genie, your mind is just dirty.
TOMMY: Yeah, he’s just sitting around his house naked.
VINNIE: I mean if the hand just happens to fall…
GENE: Vinnie, I can’t believe I’m saying this to you, but guys—we don’t just jerk off on accident!
ERIC: I mean… I have no idea how to respond to that.
PAUL: I think some guys do.
TOMMY: Peter does.
PAUL: [raises an eyebrow at him while they all turn to stare at Tommy] … How do you know that?
ERIC: I could’ve gone my whole life without hearing that. [cuts back to the animation sequence]
PAUL [voiceover]: Franklin’s social calendar in Europe was full of invites to gluttonous but incredibly classy all-night ragers, where his status as an American statesmen made him a pretty interesting guy. The women of France allegedly couldn’t get enough of him. One account describes hundreds of women surrounding him, placing a beautiful wreath upon his head, and lining up to kiss him.
ERIC: That didn’t happen… right?
PAUL: [shrugs] I dunno, it could have happened.
VINNIE: That sounds like something you would do to your old grandpa, though.
[silence. Everyone on the panel turns to stare at Vinnie in confusion]
TOMMY: What?
GENE: So you’re saying, at family gatherings—
VINNIE: No! I’m just saying, that doesn’t seem like something you’d do to someone you wanna get with. Like, would you put a funny hat on them? No. [silence] I’m just saying, you guys!
[cuts back to animation sequence]
PAUL [voiceover]: Ben’s home life was, according to accounts, equally spicy. When famous painter Charles Willson Peale paid Franklin a surprise visit one afternoon, he spied the elderly diplomat with a young woman seated on his lap. [cuts to a sketch showing a man with a woman on his lap] This sketch of his is believed to depict the two. Kinda weird that he would sketch that, but hey.
[cuts to the panel; everyone is looking at their own copies of the sketch]
GENE: She seems to have a pretty good grip on his balls.
TOMMY: That’s a, a vice-like grip there.
VINNIE: They’re still wearing pretty much everything.
ERIC: Did you guys notice their eyes? Their eyes are open and they’re just staring at each other.
PAUL: Yeah, their eyes are pretty striking.
VINNIE: Yeah…
ERIC: They’re kissing, but it’s, it’s a little unnerving. Wonder why the guy would sketch this…
PAUL [voiceover]: Some historians have evaluated Ben Franklin’s habit of charming the elite women of Europe as a strategic ploy, suspecting that he hoped that they would speak favorably of Franklin and his case for American liberty to their policy-making husbands. But many others argue that he was just a vulgar old man. Author Albert Henry Smith wrote that Franklin’s, quote, “animal instincts and passions were strong and rank.”
VINNIE: [looks mildly disgusted] Well that’s descriptive.
GENE: [snickering]: Y’know, good old animal Ben.
PAUL: An animal…
GENE: Hey, hey: I’m an animal.
PAUL: [stares for a second, then smiles] Ah!
GENE: Ah! [high-fives Paul]
ERIC: Wait, if he was born in… when was he born?
PAUL: 1706.
ERIC: If he was born in 1706… then how old was he when all this was happening?
PAUL: He would have been… probably between his late 60s and early 70s.
[Eric’s face looks very shocked, slowly contorting into disgust]
TOMMY: Oh man, he was as old as my grandpa!
GENE: [shrugs] Hey, if it still works… [cuts back to animation sequence]
PAUL [voiceover]: Based on Franklin’s party-animal-rock-star lifestyle, it makes sense that he would be in the same social circles as some of Europe’s more notorious scoundrels; and so he was. So let us now turn our attention to a man whose life would soon intersect with Franklin’s: Sir Francis Dashwood.
VINNIE: [snickering] Very English name. [mock British accent] Sir Francis Dashwood!
[screen cuts away to a title card:
CHAPTER II
THE FANCY ENGLISH SEX MAN
lighthearted music plays]
PAUL [voiceover]: Born in 1708, Sir Francis Dashwood was the only heir of a wealthy merchant. He’s perhaps best summed up by one author’s description: “An enormously rich man with a genius for obscenity.” Dashwood’s primary interests were seemingly set in stone when in his formative years, he embarked on his Grand Tour, a traditional rite of passage during which wealthy young men traveled through Europe on a cultural odyssey. As Dashwood’s tutor put it, he, quote, “fornicated his way across Europe.” In one instance, he even seduced the Empress of Russia while claiming to be Charles the Twelfth of Sweden, a man who was, at that point, dead.
TOMMY: Wait, did she not know Charles the Twelfth was dead?
PAUL: I mean, if she got fooled by this guy, I’m pretty sure she had no idea.
VINNIE: This was the era before email and the Internet, so word traveled pretty slowly. Also, [laughs] I love how his tutor says he pretty much fucked his way across Europe.
GENE: Wonder how he got her to sleep with him…
ERIC: I don’t think we need to know the details, Gene.
GENE: Maybe you don’t.
PAUL [voiceover; tense music plays]: These travels also inspired Dashwood’s fascination with sacred rituals of the past. He wasn’t really a fan of the religious institutions of his day, but he was simultaneously fascinated with Europe’s rich history. So when he wasn’t womanizing, he was sauntering through dusty catacombs lined with mummified corpses, or sitting in old Roman ruins imagining the orgies of the past. So it’s this odd mutual appreciation for debauchery and sacred history that would lead to Dashwood’s crowning achievement and ultimately his friendship with Ben Franklin: the Friars of St. Francis of Wycombe. Or, as it was more popularly known…
[music reaches a climactic peak as the name appears on screen over burning flames. Paul reads the name]
THE HELLFIRE CLUB!
GENE: Oh shit.
VINNIE: That sounds awesome.
PAUL [voiceover]: Dashwood’s Hellfire Club was meant to attract the most depraved and intellectual men of the time. And over the course of its history, its lineup would allegedly include such notable men as the Prime Minister of England, the Lord Mayor of London, several of England’s greatest artists and poets, the Prince of Wales, and possibly, as evidence would strongly suggest, Ben Franklin. See, Dashwood was publicly known to sympathize with the cause of the American rebels, and he had exchanged letters with Franklin many times. Furthermore, Franklin actually visited Dashwood’s estate at West Wycombe for an extended period in July of 1772, and during his stay, there is a record of a club meeting taking place. According to one author, quote, “there seems to be no reason why Franklin should have gone to Wycombe at this special time unless he was a member. Only club members were allowed at Dashwood’s estate during club meetings.” So, keeping in mind Franklin’s likely involvement, let’s look at what he would have encountered during his visits with the Friars of St. Francis of Wycombe.
The members of the club reportedly donned white monk’s robes, and were each allowed to invite along, quote, “a lady of a cheerful, lively disposition, to improve the general hilarity.” These women also dressed up, wearing nun’s robes and masks to avoid an embarrassing run-in with a husband or acquaintance.
GENE: This is some freaky stuff.
VINNIE: [looks enthralled] This is awesome.
TOMMY: Eyes Wide Shut…
PAUL: [nods] Yep.
PAUL [voiceover]: The first location of the Hellfire Club was on the shores of an island in the Thames River. Shrouded in a thick grove of elm trees, the island was the perfect location for the not-monks to spend an evening with their dates away from the prying eyes of the public. It was also ideal because it was home to the crumbling remnants of an old medieval ruin built in 1160 known as Medmenham Abbey. Dashwood actually set about reconstructing the site, but since he had a flair for the dramatic, he asked that it still resemble a creepy old ruin. But he did install a few upgrades:
A series of stained glass windows depicting the club members in, quote, “indecent poses.”
A brilliant pornographic fresco that John Wilkes, who wasn’t known to shy away from vulgarity himself, described as, quote, “unspeakable.”
And an expansive library stocked with classical literature as well as, quote, “the finest collection of pornographic books in Great Britain.”
PAUL: So to help us get more immersed in what went down at a club meeting, I’ve provided for all of you the proper tools.
[everyone looks under the table and takes out boxes. In the boxes are black robes, 1700s-style hats, some with feathers sticking out, and Venetian masquerade masks that are black and a different color. Vinnie has black and gold, Gene has black and red, Paul has black and purple, Eric has black and orange, and Tommy has black and blue]
GENE: [as they’re all putting on their costumes] Man, you really went all out, didn’t you?
PAUL: Oh, just wait.
ERIC: I will say, I do feel more immersed in the experience now.
TOMMY: This is pretty awesome.
PAUL: Okay, now that we’re all dressed up, let’s get into the juicy stuff!
VINNIE: [looks incredibly excited] I can’t wait.
GENE: [laughs] You look so excited.
VINNIE: Because I am. [bangs rhythmically on the table] Get to the juicy stuff, Paulie!
[screen cuts to a title card:
CHAPTER III
THE DEBAUCHERY BEGINS
slow, tense music plays and animations show events as Paul narrates]
PAUL [voiceover]: In the cover of night, the hooded monks and their dates would arrive to the island on a red gondola. Stepping ashore, they were greeted by the far-off drone of the abbey’s organ and the ringing of a ghostly church bell. Outside the abbey, they’d come upon an ominous statue of Harpocrates, the Egyptian god of silence. [a statue of Harpocrates is shown with a finger over his lips, and a voice that sounds like Paul’s whispers “Shhhhhhut the fuck uuuup…”]
Once inside the abbey, Dashwood would pour his guests a special cocktail of brandy and brimstone, and they’d all raise their glasses in a toast to the powers of darkness.
VINNIE: This sounds fucking a-ma-zing! I love theme parties, and this is just, just fucking amazing. I wouldn’t stay for the sex, though.
GENE: You’d just be there for the theme part?
VINNIE: Yeah, I’d do all this, then when they start doin’ it, I’d just duck out.
PAUL: Also, before we continue, I was actually able to, to make this more immersive… [reaches under the table and pulls out a bottle of wine]
VINNIE: Ooooh, nice!
TOMMY: Is it the brandy and brimstone cocktail?
PAUL: [laughs] Heh, no, it’s not, it’s just wine. I also have… [reaches under the table and pulls out five silver ornate goblets] these babies! [passes them out]
ERIC: [looks over his in fascination] Wow, these are awesome! Where’d you get these?
PAUL: [laughs] The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. [Eric laughs]
GENE: Oh yeah, you took Erin there for her birthday a while ago.
PAUL: Yep, and I got these. [they all pour wine into their goblets and raise them in a toast] To Ben Franklin and the Hellfire Club!
PAUL [voiceover]: With the striking of a gong, the monks would move further into the abbey and file into the chapel. Here, it is suspected they practiced a black mass, in which a woman laid naked on the altar and the monks proceeded to drink sacrificial wine from her navel.
ERIC: We’re not doing that, are we?
PAUL: Oh no, we’re not doing that.
ERIC: Okay…
GENE: [laughs] Disappointed, Eric?
ERIC: No, I just—fuck you, man.
TOMMY: Would’ve been interesting.
PAUL [voiceover]: Now I should say, since I know you’re all wondering, it’s generally thought that the members weren’t actual Satanists, despite all these weird rituals. Some members actually found this aspect pretty boring. John Wilkes actually found the rituals so dull, that he once dressed up a baboon as a demon… bear with me… he locked it in a trunk, and he stowed it in the abbey. Then, when the members called upon Lord Satan to appear, Wilkes pulled a string to release the frightened animal. For a moment, the members stared in disbelief…
… And then they lost their minds.
[music grows chaotic as the animation shows the baboon leaping over terrified figures while screams are heard] The terrified baboon leapt onto Lord Sandwich—yes, that Lord Sandwich, the guy who invented the sandwich—causing him to allegedly shout, “Spare me, gracious devil! I never knew that you’d really come or I’d never have invoked thee!”
[cuts back to the panel, all of them laughing]
VINNIE: I love how, even among this weird society, there was that one guy who was like, “This society is dull!”
PAUL: Also, after this happened, the baboon jumped out the window, and they weren’t able to catch it.
GENE: [laughing] That’s hilarious.
ERIC: [laughs and waves] Bye, suckers!
TOMMY: Bye, Felicia!
PAUL [voiceover]: As the alcohol continued to flow, the monks and their guests might share dirty stories, or read from the era’s more popular works of pornographic literature.
PAUL: I’ve provided you all with a piece of pornography. These are all from a piece published in 1740 called, “A Dialogue Between a Married Lady and a Maid.” So without further ado, [gestures to Vinnie for him to begin] Vinnie?
[dramatic piano music plays as Vinnie starts to read, looking like he wants to laugh]
VINNIE: “There is between the thighs, just at the bottom of the belly, a piece of flesh… Underneath, hangs in a bag, or purse, two little balls, pretty hard, and the harder the better. They call them stones, and in them is contained that white thick liquor.” [he wheezes, then bursts out laughing, joined by Tommy]
GENE: “He took hold of that place which distinguishes us from men. At the same time he cried out, ‘O! I have a maid! A virgin to my share!’”
VINNIE: I love that they seemed to not know the exact words. [laughs]
PAUL: Well, it was a different time. They were more prudish, I think.
VINNIE: True. I’ve seen some stuff online that’s pretty vulgar. There’s this one person online who likes pugs that writes some naughty, naughty stuff. [looks at the camera smirking] You know who you are. I see you.
ERIC: Okay, my turn. “His member was stiff and hard as a horn. Just as he had finished…” oh God, why? “… my mother, who had heard me shriek, came into the room.”
TOMMY: “‘What a happy girl you are!’ said she. ‘Pluck off this smock, which I will keep for a relick, since it is stained with thy virgin’s blood.’”
GENE: [to Vinnie] I feel like we got the lesser of the four passages.
VINNIE: I dunno…
ERIC: You did! Mine and Tommy’s were pretty explicit. You just got a playful description of balls!
VINNIE: Hey, that’s pretty tame compared to some of the smut that’s out there today.
GENE: Fifty Shades of Grey? [Paul frowns and glares at Gene as the rest of the panel silently stares at him] … What?
PAUL: How dare you. [Tommy laughs] How dare you bring that crap into my show. [cuts back to the animations]
PAUL [voiceover]: With bellies full of drinks and minds full of smut, guests would start to pair off and retreat to any of the private cells, which were prepared and stocked with the, quote, “proper objects for lascivious activities.”
[cut back to the panel. Eric is slumped over the desk]
PAUL: [looks over in slight amusement] You okay there, Eric?
ERIC: I just… I don’t even want to know what they got up to.
VINNIE: [grinning and trying not to laugh] It seems pretty obvious to me what they got up to.
ERIC: I don’t want to—
VINNIE: [still grinning] They got some of that dirty rhythm.
GENE: [also grinning] They indulged in some sweet pain.
ERIC: Gene, no—
TOMMY: [just assume everyone is grinning widely] They went for a rocket ride.
PAUL: They rocked hard all night.
GENE: Took each other down below.
ERIC: Guys, c’mon—
VINNIE: Got some tough love.
TOMMY: Pulled the triggers of their love guns.
PAUL: Put the X in—
ERIC: STOOOP!
PAUL [voiceover]: After operating in secret for many years, the details of the Hellfire Club at Medmenham Abbey were recounted in a popular novel in 1760. It captivated the public’s imagination, to the point that tourists would line the shores to try and spot the sex monks arriving. But, not wanting to give up his elaborate sex parties, Dashwood bounced back by having an elaborate system of caves dug on his own private property a few miles away from the abbey, and it was here that the monks of the Hellfire Club continued to have their parties in total privacy. This new location, and the fact that it was gated from the public and accessible only to club members, lends further plausibility to Ben Franklin’s participation. As he once wrote in a letter, “The exquisite sense of classical design, charmingly reproduced at West Wycombe, is as evident below the earth as above it.” Author Daniel Mannix argues that Franklin’s letter must be referring to the underground caves, and also adds that, quote, “Franklin would have been shortsighted if he hadn’t joined the club. He was a diplomat trying to help his country, and the club gave him the entrée to some of the most influential men in England.”
But as the guest lists for secret societies are kind of hard to figure out, we will never know for sure if Ben Franklin really did attend the Hellfire Club. But his documented friendship with Dashwood and his time spent at the estate puts it well within the realm of possibility. And, if you’re left wondering if a sex club fits with Franklin’s moral compass, then let’s take one last look at the man’s true character with some passages from an infamous piece penned by Franklin himself titled, “Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress.” This is a letter in which Ben Franklin encourages his friend to go after older women. It was written in 1745, a copy of it sits in the Library of Congress, and it’s kind of gross.
PAUL: And here to read us the letter, through the magic of theatre… [he turns and gestures off camera] Mr. Benjamin Franklin!
[the panel applauds and whoops, then they all start laughing as Ace walks in with a chair, dressed in 1700s style clothing with a wig that is long grey hair sewn to a bald patch, but we can still clearly see his real hair underneath. A text box appears on him as he sits down between Paul and Eric:
NOT A LICENSED BEN FRANKLIN IMPERSONATOR]
ACE/BEN: Tis I, Benjamin Franklin! Who by some extraordinary means, has come to a strange future time!
VINNIE: [has a hand over his mouth while he’s laughing] This is amazing.
PAUL: So, Ben, we’ve learned a lot about you and some possible details concerning your personal life.
ACE/BEN: Okay.
PAUL: But we still have a few questions. Guys?
VINNIE: Why did you enjoy the company of older women?
ACE/BEN: [reads from his paper] “Because as they have more knowledge of the world and their minds are better stor’d with observations, their conversation is more improving, and more lastingly agreeable.” Wouldn’t you say?
VINNIE: [shrugs and nods] Yeah, I guess.
GENE: Wasn’t he like, 70 years old when he wrote this later? How is he so young right now?
ACE/BEN: “Because the sin is less—”
PAUL: No, wait—
ERIC: [bursts out laughing]
PAUL: You have to ask him. He’s—He’s an old man.
ACE/BEN: I’m old.
GENE: Ben?
ACE/BEN: Go ahead, son.
GENE: Why do you prefer the company of older women?
ACE/BEN: “Because the sin is less,” my dear boy. “The debauching a virgin may be her ruin, and make her for life unhappy.”
ERIC: Huh.
GENE: Deep.
TOMMY: Do you have any more reasons?
ACE/BEN: Uh, yeah. [takes out another sheet of paper while Tommy and Eric silently laugh] “Because in every animal that walks upright, the deficiency of the fluids that fill the muscles appears first in the highest part. The face first grows lank and wrinkled; [cut to the left side: Gene is doubled over silently laughing while Vinnie is listening thoughtfully] then the neck; then the breast and arms; the lower parts continuing to the last as plump as ever. So that covering all above with a basket, and regarding only what is below the girdle, it is impossible of two women to know an old from a young one.”
PAUL: So… you’re saying, when you put a basket over their heads…
ACE/BEN: Yeah. I don’t know. [panel bursts out laughing]
VINNIE: You don’t know?! You wrote it!
ACE/BEN: History will tell. History will tell.
PAUL: I, uh, I think history has told. Do you have any final thoughts?
VINNIE: It was a different time, maybe stuff happened that you couldn’t do nowadays.
TOMMY: He got pretty freaky.
ERIC: I mean, it would be a pretty cool movie, but I wouldn’t really want to hang out with him.
PAUL [voiceover]: Well, there you have it, people! Ben Franklin; a surprisingly multi-faceted individual. History: it’s never that boring if you know where to look. That’s been Ruining History. Thanks for learning with us!
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