#that one is because it was just 2 numbers and I rhythm with it lol

[genericpuff]

sorry if this has already been addressed, but why are the chapter numbers off on dillyhub?

Back when I started mirroring to Dillyhub, I decided to condense a lot of the episodes that were either extremely short to begin with or cut in half for time. Ex. Episodes 1 and 2 were condensed into Episode 1, Episodes 3-5 were condensed into Episode 2, etc. This was mostly to make the reading experience a little more consistent, especially with episodes that were split for the sake of lightening the workload for the week but thematically were meant to be presented as one single episode.

Pacing and reading rhythm are really important to me so I don't like cutting things off in weird places, if I ever do split an episode it's usually where there's already a natural enough conclusion that it can work on its own, such as the Alex episode which was originally split into two parts for Tumblr, but then condensed into one again for Dillyhub. To show you what I mean, here are the separate endings of Parts 1 and 2 that work on their own, but together in the condensed episode turns Part 1's ending into a setting transition and Part 2's ending into the "true ending" of the entire episode:

That doesn't happen too often nowadays though. If there are any production issues, unless an episode has a natural cut off point that can make it doable as a two-parter, I'll usually opt to just delay the episode until it can be presented in full the way it was intended to be.

Back when I started the comic though, I was still just messing around with things and putting out updates that were small but frequent, before I had committed myself to an actual posting schedule. That's why so much of the condensing on Dillyhub happened within the first stretch of the story, because so many episodes were only like 10-15 panels at the time (it's also why on Tumblr it takes nearly 20 frigging episodes for Kore to get home from the party/Hades' house LOL but on DH it's more like 12).

So yeah, it can sometimes cause issues like it did today with the elevator number sequence LMAO but for the most part, the episode numbers aren't really much of an issue unless you jump between both Tumblr and DH, in which case... yeah sorry about that LOL It's mostly just to clean up the episodes that were originally intended to be longer but weren't for some reason or another.

To put it simply, in the hypothetical scenario that Rekindled were a book, its episodes would be formatted more like the DH version than the Tumblr version. Hope that answers your question :'3

[hopeluna]

𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 ⋆ ۪ — Barista!Izuku Midoriya

♡! hope's notes: this is 50% unrealistic and 50% self indulgent. Tell me what u think lol <3

It's 7 in the morning when you realise that you're truly, utterly fucked.

You try to convince yourself that it was really your alarm's fault for not waking you up. Because now you are desperately trying to shove everything in your bag, while chewing on the world's driest granola bar and make your way out of your apartment.

You do the calculation in your head as you make your way down the stairs, trying not to trip. Your class is supposed start at 7:15, so you have approximately 5 minutes to get a much needed cup of coffee. And then you need to make run for your class which is 15 minutes, hoping to whatever deity that you'll reach there in 10 minutes.

A groan of frustration escapes you on the sidewalk at the utter slow pace the lady is moving in front of you, talking animatedly on the phone.

You've been late to class enough times this entire week that you're convinced your professor is going to shoot you in the head today. The first thing you notice in front of the cafe is how cute and cozy it looked. Like something straight out of a rom-com set.

There were small little coffee shops like this scattered through almost every road corner outside the campus. Coffee shops, cheap diners and stationaries all looking out for their target customers, drained college students.

This particular coffee shop, you had realised one day talking with your friends, was new and untouched by your hands. You knew that logically it wasn't a great time right now to experiment newly opened shops, no matter how much your friends had been praising the place but you were already late, and the decor and smell of roasted coffee beans seemed too appetizing to pass up.

The gentle chime of the bell at the entrance almost made you forget that your life could possibly be on the line in less than 10 minutes. Your shoulders loose some tension at the faint but noticeable fragrance in the air, the smell of coffee and the muffled sounds of students clicking away on their computers, couples chatting away in excitement and the sound of the workers behind the counter.

Oh yeah, you were definitely forgetting about class for some minutes.

Tapping your fingers to a random rhythm, your eyes immediately go to the cheapest drink on the big menu overhead the counter. Being a college student, you weren't really raking up the big bucks and would rather like to be able to afford instant ramen in the future.

And that's when it happened.

You swore that you almost went blind for about 2 seconds at the absolute beaming, sunshine-filled smile the barista gave you. The simple words "what can I get for you today?" suddenly sounded like the most holiest piece of angel music coming out of his mouth. He was cute, like a lot, with lush green curls falling messily atop his head, freckles doted like stars across his cheeks. You briefly registered the small "Midoriya" name plate attached to his shirt.

"Um, e-excuse me?"

"Yes?"

"I- what can I get you, ma'am?"

"Your number, hopefully"

Shit. The wide eyes and the full flush creeping up on his cheeks made you almost shriek in horror, you didn't mean to say that aloud. Suddenly, the once calming air felt stifling and uncomfortable.

"Uh! I mean- no!", wincing at your own volume, you suddenly wished that the earth would just open up and swallow you whole. "You see, um, that was- a joke! A bad joke!". It took all your strength to not bash your head on the counter under your sweaty palms, cringing at yourself.

The nervous laugh that "Midoriya" let out certainly didn't help the situation either.

You felt the tension lifting off your chest when a girl came up to the counter to ask for more creamer. The next course of action was probably not your proudest moment, definitely something you would look back at and curse yourself for. In your defence, your mind felt scrambled and fried at the whole interaction, so you did the only thing your brain managed to comprehend. You ran.

A few minutes later, already at your campus, you stopped for a second for breath. The frustrated whine you let out next was met with some questioning glances your way that you could not be bothered about right now, your mind only swirling with one thing.

You didn't even get your fucking coffee.

© hopeluna. Do not copy, translate, modify or repost any of my work in this or any other site. Do not steal or modify my ideas/concepts either.

[seungkwansphd]

cast me in a better light

pairing: musical actor!Joshua x pit orchestra member!YN word count: 5.9k synopsis: Joshua is a great singer and actor, you can admit that, but would it kill him to have some rhythm? The Christmas musical really will fail if you can't figure out how to read his cues, but he's wondering if you'll ever realize that he's sending you a different kind of signal, too. genre/themes: romance, fluff, grumpy/sunshine dynamic, allusions to a bad breakup, hallmarkian romance, lol.

a/n: this is part of the @svthub snowventeen collab! you should check out all of the other wonderful writers & stories! also these are the songs i drew inspo & lyrics from (don't sue me) griff - on foot in front of the other ariana grande - santa tell me (slow & reverb)

You balled your free hand into a fist as you turned back in your sheet music for what felt like the thirteenth time. It was your third rehearsal with the cast for this year’s Christmas musical and you were wondering if you could get away with strangling the lead, Joshua Hong, with your bare hands. You weren’t even working on anything difficult, but this man could not seem to sneak through a back alley with any sort of consistent rhythm pattern, so consequently you had nothing to follow. Your beats on the high toms kept missing his footsteps and everyone’s patience was wearing thin.

“Joshua, YN?” Janet cleared their throat, “Can you two spend some time together working on this? We need to either decide on a set tempo or work out some visual cues so that YN can follow your footsteps. We do need to move on for today though.”

“Of course!” Joshua smiled brightly at the orchestra conductor, “We’ll make time!” he gestured theatrically in a way that made you want to throw your drumsticks at him.

“Great,” Janet nodded at him before looking back down at the score, “Alright, let’s continue,” they lifted their baton, leading the pit through the second number.

“You still want to do dinner?” you asked Tetiana as she packed up her violin and bow.

“Yes! Although…,” she trailed off, pointing to something behind you.

Furrowing your brows, you turned slowly to see your one and only leading man, Joshua Hong. It was highly unusual to see cast members down in the pit.

“Hey YN! Thought I’d get your number so we can coordinate a few practices to nail down the walks,” he smiled at you.

“Ah sure,” you nodded. None of this would be necessary if he could just walk like a human person.

“Do you have regular days that work well? Or what do you think?”

“To be honest, my schedule is pretty irregular,” you answered honestly, thinking through the various jobs that you had lined up over the next couple of weeks. “I have a chunk of time free on Thursday between two and three pm?”

“That should work! I’ll text you to confirm,” he nodded, running through his own schedule in his head.

“Sounds good,” you raised your eyebrows at him, “Don’t get lost on the way out,” you couldn’t help but tease.

Joshua either didn’t hear you or didn’t respond as he walked backstage, but Tetiana laughed at your joke, which was enough to satisfy you.

“Ready to eat?” you asked her with a smile.

“Yes,” she laughed heartily. She wondered just how difficult of a time Joshua was in for during these one on one sessions.

❄❄❄

“Why can’t we just do a simple 2/4 or 4/4 pace when you walk from stage left to the alley?” you asked, slightly irritated already.

“Because it’s not what the character would do,” Joshua rebutted, as if what he was saying made any sense. “And depending on the show, the atmosphere may be different, so I want to leave it open for interpretation!”

“I-,” you cut yourself off, remembering your conductor’s words. “Okay, well then can we implement some sort of physical cue? Like a shoulder movement or something? I need to be able to follow you,” you suggested.

“Can you just watch how I move and see if there are any physical cues that I'm already doing?”

“Sure,” you sighed, gesturing for him to do his walk.

You watched him closely, eyes traveling from his shoulders to his fingertips and then back up to his torso, hoping to pick out some sort of movement that corresponded to his footsteps. You’d never seen Joshua at such a close distance before. From the pit, he was little more than the rough outline of a person, but up close you were forced to acknowledge how handsome he was. As you watched him move, you also realized that Joshua was much broader than you would’ve guessed. You were surprised when the thought hit you. Things were certainly easier when you watched him from a distance.

“Well?” he asked, turning his head to look at you after completing his exaggerated walk.

“Sorry, can you do it again?” you asked, shaking your head briefly to clear your thoughts.

“Yes,” he nodded, moving to start again.

You crossed your arms, tongue dragging across your teeth as you regarded him. Without even having to look, Joshua could feel your eyes rake up and down his figure as he walked and walked and walked. Your eyes burned into him intently and for someone who was a professional performer, he was surprised to find himself somehow nervous. Your tongue toyed with your left canine until you finally noticed that there was this little thing that he did with his chin just before he took a step. You might be able to work with that.

“Okay, I think I got something!” you clapped your hands together in relief, moving to the keyboard that was set up across the room from your drumset. “Okay, can we take it from here?” your fingers played out the closing melody that directly preceded his walk.

“Oh, yes?” Joshua did a double take. The way your fingers ran across the keys took him by surprise. “You play piano as well?”

“I’m a professional musician,” you wrinkled your nose up at him, “I can play several instruments.”

“Ah, of course,” he flushed.

You keyed out the melody again, leading him into his walk. He waited for you to cross the room to pick up your drumsticks before he started walking and you half-managed to follow his footsteps this time.

“That was better,” you shrugged, “We’ll need to keep working at it though,” you shrugged, eyeing the clock. You had to leave soon if you wanted to make it to band rehearsal on time.

“Oh right, you had to stop at three,” Joshua nodded, following your line of sight.

“Yeah,” you shrugged. The hour had passed quickly, most of it spent bickering, unfortunately. “When are you free next?”

“Saturday is pretty open as of now,” you suggested. “Would ten-thirty in the morning work?”

“Yes!”

“Would you mind actually meeting at my house? I have band practice right before and it would be nice not to have to drive here and set everything up.”

“Oh, sure I guess? What’s the address?”

“I’ll text you,” you smiled gratefully as you packed your drumsticks away, “Have a good day!”

❄❄❄

Joshua double checked the address before he got out of his car. He was halfway to the porch when the sound of music out back caught his ear. He was quite early and figured it wouldn’t do any harm to check it out. As he got closer to the source, the sounds of keyboard, drumset, and guitar became more individually discernible and these ensemble sounds worked together to complement the lead vocalist. Was this the band rehearsal that you had been referring to?

Joshua finally rounded the corner of the house to face a detached garage where the band was rehearsing. His eyes went to the drumset first, where he expected to see you. The large man seated behind the bass drum, however, was decidedly not you and so his eyes flitted around until they landed on the person standing behind the keyboard. You were playing and singing with such joy on your face and it made him stop in his tracks.

“I didn't think I'd get back up I didn't think I'd be alright again You know it's easy when you're young, bounce back and whatever You just bounce back like it never happened”

You sang with your eyes closed, fingers gliding across the keyboard with an ease that startled Joshua.

“I put one foot in front of the other today I stretched my arms out wide and it felt real strange And then my legs, they started shaking and my hands, they started quaking 'Cause things just take longer to heal these days”

The tenderness with which you sang the last lyrics triggered a small burst of warmth in his chest and when your eyes opened to meet his, his heart jumped fully into his throat.

“Oh, you’re here,” you blurted into the mic without thinking, surprising your band mates.

“Hi, yes,” Joshua cleared his throat, “Sorry I’m early!” he waved at everyone good naturedly.

“Who is this?” your bassist, Elena asked, eyes dancing curiously at you.

“Joshua, he’s the lead in that musical I’m working,” you shrugged, for some reason embarrassed that he had seen you singing.

“Oh nice!” your drummer stood up to introduce himself, “I’m Amir, and that’s Elena. It’s nice to meet you man!”

“Hey thanks! Nice to meet you too,” Joshua smiled back at the large man, “I didn’t know you sang,” he remarked at you.

“I mean…we barely know each other,” you couldn’t help but remark.

“I guess that’s true,” he chuckled good naturedly, “You guys sound great!”

“Thank you” Elena chirped excitedly, “You should follow us on social media!”

“Please,” Joshua nodded way too genuinely, pulling out his phone and looking over Elena’s shoulder as she showed him the band’s various handles.

You knew that didn’t make any sense. You should want everyone and their mother to check out your music, but there had always been an unspoken separation between the cast members and pit orchestra and so it felt very odd to be letting Joshua into your life in this way.

“Do you wanna take that again,” Amir asked you, bringing your thoughts back to the present, “Or did you feel good about that?”

“I felt really good about that, actually,” you nodded and you meant it.

“Me too!” Elena chirped in agreement.

“Cool, well we’re done a little early so if you two need to work on whatever you need to work on, we can make ourselves scarce. But…,” Amir turned his eyes to Joshua hopefully, “If you might wanna jam with us…Elena and I have been learning ‘My Shot’ from Hamilton!”

“Oh hell yes,” Joshua answered seamlessly.

“Right on!” Amir nodded excitedly, sitting back down behind his drum set as Elena wiggled excitedly.

You gestured towards the microphone stand as you got out of the way for Joshua. He pulled the mic out of the stand and your jaw dropped when he started…rapping?

“Hey yo, I'm just like my country I'm young, scrappy and hungry And I'm not throwin' away my shot”

Amir’s grin grew wider and wider as he picked up on Joshua’s flow. You watched, eyes widening with amazement, as he just continued and continued. You knew it was a silly stereotype, but you didn’t ever think you’d see him rapping and you were surprised at how decent he was at it. You could tell that he was out of his usual element, but he managed to still have a swagger and presence that was quite different from when you’d seen him during rehearsal. Elena’s delight grew unbridled as they ran through a good amount of the track before Joshua ran out of breath.

“Sorry!” he laughed apologetically, “I don’t typically rap,” he smiled genially.

“No, don’t apologize man, that was awesome!” Amir shook his head vehemently.

You grinned as you watched the three of them bond. Amir and Elena had always had such open and welcoming personalities, so it didn’t surprise you that they connected with Joshua immediately.

“Of all the things I never thought I’d see,” you remarked as you looked at him with a newfound appreciation.

“I mean we barely know each other, right?” he couldn’t help but throw your own words back at you. He must’ve been still reestablishing his blood oxygen equilibrium, because there was no other explanation for why he winked at you.

You blinked.

“Well, we ought to get out of your hair cause we’ve probably eaten into enough of your rehearsal time,” Amir spoke up after exchanging a glance with Elena. They both packed up quickly and made themselves scarce as you settled in behind the drumset, adjusting the stool way, way down.

“That was fun,” Joshua smiled at you as you warmed up.

“You were perfectly on beat there! So if you could just do that while you walk,” you teased, eyes creasing as you smiled at him. Joshua opened his mouth, but you cut him off, “I know, I know, that’s not what the character would do,” you shook your head playfully at him.

You were pleasantly surprised that the next hour passed quickly. It was probably because Amir and Elena had helped break the ice a little bit, but you felt a lot more comfortable with Joshua today. In turn, he also seemed more open to your input and you were able to work out a decent system for establishing a walking or transition pace. Eventually, you got bored and worked on a few other passages before your stomach interrupted with a loud rumble.

“Was that your stomach?” Joshua asked, surprise evident on his face.

“Yes,” you laughed sheepishly, “I should eat something. Do you want to take a break? I’ve probably got something we can snack on.”

“I wouldn’t mind a snack,” Joshua smiled at you in a way that was disarming.

“Okay, follow me then,” you turned away, nervous, allowing him to follow you,  “Don’t judge me, I know the place is a mess!” you disclaimed as you led him through the house. Joshua’s eyes widened with wonder as he inventoried the many, many instrument cases scattered around your house.

“How many instruments can you play?” he looked at you in wonder.

“I, uh,” you made a face as you counted in your head. “All of the strings and most of the percussion instruments.”

“What? That’s amazing!” Joshua gaped at you. He was truly impressed.

“Thanks,” you chuckled, a bit shy at his obvious admiration. Avoiding his gaze, you searched through your cupboard for something to eat.

“Can I try this?” Joshua gestured to the cello laying on the ground while you slid two frozen waffles into the toaster.

“Sure!” you called over your shoulder as you moved to the fridge. Waffles and cereal it was! You laughed to yourself as you heard some fiddling followed by a few noisy scrapes.

“This sounds horrible,” he remarked to himself as he continued to drag the bow across the strings determinedly. You couldn’t fight the smile that spread across your lips as you watched him out of the corner of your eye. You were surprised that you still found him endearing as he continued to make such grating sounds.

“You’ll have to adjust the pin,” you gestured to the bottom of the cello as you approached him, assessing the situation. “Here, hold this for me,” you lifted the instrument to the appropriate height and waited for Joshua to grab the instrument. You reached down between his legs and pulled the endpin out so that the cello sat at a better height.

“Okay, that looks better, now let’s address this grip,” you smiled, grabbing his hand and adjusting his fingers so they held the bow in a less awkward way. You didn’t notice, but Joshua’s Adam’s apple bobbed erratically when you moved to adjust his other hand on the neck of the cello. “You might actually be good at the cello,” you remarked, taking his left hand into your own. “You have these nice long fingers!”

Before he could respond, the waffles jumped in the toaster, pulling your attention away. It was just as well, because the best Joshua could’ve offered was a garbled cough with the way you had managed to fluster him. Blinking rapidly, he stood, placing the cello back on its side.

In the kitchen, you reprimanded yourself mentally as you placed the toasted waffles onto plates. Joshua did have nice hands, but you certainly didn’t need to be saying that out loud! Wordlessly, you brought everything to the kitchen table and gestured for him to sit.

“Hope you like Cap’n Crunch,” you laughed, “It’s the best I can do with no notice.

“I love Cap’n Crunch,” he smiled genuinely, “So do you teach as well?” he asked between mouthfuls. You nodded and worked through your own mouthful of cereal before answering him.

“Yes! I teach a handful of students, mostly string instruments.”

“Wow, that is really amazing,” Joshua beamed at you one more time before you ate in silence. The crunch of the cap’n filled the room and you were struck by the odd sense of intimacy that filled the moment. You wondered if it was one sided before you finished up and resumed practice

❄❄❄

Joshua couldn’t keep his eyes from wandering to you in the pit. You were laughing easily with some of the other musicians and he was surprised at the way he felt almost jealous? It made sense, of course, you knew them much better than you knew him. Prior to this show, you’d never even interacted, but after spending some time with you over the weekend, Joshua had had a lot of trouble keeping you out of his mind.

“Ready to get started?” Janet tapped their baton against their music stand.

Everyone directed their attention to the podium and flipped to one of the big dance numbers. It was quick and before long you were deeply immersed, trying to keep time with their steps.

“Very good, nice work!” Janet clapped happily, more than pleased. “Joshua and YN, great job nailing down the transitions as well! They’re looking much better.”

You smiled back, pleased as well. Joshua instinctively looked towards where he knew you were, even though it was too dark to see you anymore.

“Hey, YN!” you heard Joshua’s now familiar voice as you were on the way out of rehearsal.

“Hey, nice job today,” you smiled at him.

“Thanks to you,” he felt inordinately pleased to receive your compliment. “Hey if you’re not busy, do you want to grab some coffee?”

“I’m not, but why?” you asked.

“I-, do I have to have a reason?” he paused, furrowing his brow.

“I mean, I guess not but this is a little unusual. The cast members typically don’t acknowledge our existence,” you chuckled. You were probably being a little unfair, but this was also true.

“Well, you’re not exactly making it easy,” he pushed back, raising an eyebrow.

“…Fair point,” you had to admit. “You’re right. Let’s go get coffee.”

Joshua beamed.

“I like Almanac, but where do you like for coffee?”

“I like Almanac too!” Joshua’s eyebrows raised in surprise, “See we’re more similar than you give us credit for.”

“I already admitted I was being unfair,” you raised your brows at him, heading towards your favorite coffee shop.

“So how was the rest of your weekend?”

“It was pretty busy, but good! Yours?”

“It was also good,” Joshua smiled. You watched the way the corners of his lips curled up in a catlike fashion. “I had some free time after our practice, so I went to visit my mom.”

“Oh, nice! Does she live close? Far?”

“A couple of hours away, so it’s not too far. She’s getting a little older now, so I try to visit regularly and help around the house however I can.”

“That’s sweet of you,” you smiled. Joshua had always seemed like a gentleman and this was consistent with that.

“It’s the right thing to do,��� he shrugged, opening the door to Almanac for you.

“YN!” the roaster, Sam, greeted you, “And Josh?” He did a double take when Joshua followed you inside. “Do you two know each other?”

“We do!” Joshua nodded, “You weren’t kidding when you said you like it here, huh?”

“I take my coffee very seriously,” you threw him a pointed yet playful look. “What’s interesting today?” you turned back to Sam.

“For you? I think you’ll like the Burundi best? Very juicy and complex,” he regarded you for a second. “And for you, Joshua? I think the Honduras? Nutty and more chocolatey notes.”

You and Joshua both nodded. When it came to coffee with Sam, you’d both learned that it was always best to go with dealer’s choice.

“Do we want these for here or to go?”

“I, uh…?” you looked at Joshua, this had been his idea to begin with.

“Here?” he suggested, hoping you didn’t feel obligated.

“Sure,” you shrugged.

“So how do you two know each other?” Sam asked as he bounced around behind the bar, grinding beans and prepping pour overs.

“We’re both in the Christmas show,” Joshua answered first, gesturing vaguely towards the theater where you’d just walked from.

“Well, he’s in it. I’m in the pit orchestra,” you felt the need to clarify.

“You’re in it! There’s no musical without the orchestra!” he insisted enthusiastically.

“I would agree with that,” Sam chuckled, intrigued at your dynamic.

“You know what I mean though!” you scrunched your face at Joshua, “If you say ‘I’m in a musical’ people think you mean the cast!”

Joshua blinked down at you. His lips curled up at the corners, amused at your fervor. Sam watched with a grin on his face as you and Joshua bickered playfully.

“Okay, here’s your coffee kids,” he finally interrupted, sliding two ceramic cups across the bar.

“Thanks Sam,” you beamed at him before turning to search out a table. It wasn’t terribly busy, so you were able to grab seats at the bar looking out the window. “So did you have something you needed to talk to me about?” you asked, shifting slightly to face him.

“No, I just wanted to spend some time with you,” he laughed, leaning back in his chair.

“What?”

“What?” he asked, a little confused that he kept having to explain why he wanted to be around you. You were incredibly talented and interesting, did you not see that?

“Sorry I’m not good at making new friends,” you chuckled wryly.

“You’re okay,” Joshua smiled. “I was actually hoping to ask you about your music making process. If you don’t mind.”

“Oh?” your eyes lit up. This was a topic that you could talk both of his ears off about, if he let you.

“Yes, I was wondering who writes your lyrics and whether you have a process for it. Like lyrics first and then music or vice versa?”

“That’s a good question that’s impossible to answer,” you grinned at him. “Amir and Elena and I tend to each write our own tracks, but we do ask each other for input. For me, I write the lyrics first and fill in the music around them. Elena is the opposite and Amir does both, depending on his mood. Do you write music?”

“I have tried in the past. But I’m primarily a vocalist, so I never really got to the part about filling in the music,” he chuckled sheepishly. “I can get by on guitar, but that’s about it.”

“It’s certainly not easy,” you laughed, “And then there’s the issue of baring your heart and soul to the people who do actually listen.”

Joshua enjoyed the way your eyes sparkled as you talked excitedly about your music making process. You didn’t seem to like to talk about yourself otherwise, so he hoped he could learn more about you through your music. Your next show was already marked down in his calendar and he couldn’t wait for the day to come.

“Sorry I’m talking your ear off!” you chuckled, bringing your mug to your lips.

“I like it,” his eyes creased as he smiled at you, resting his chin on his hand, eager to hear more.

You blinked. His statement was so straightforward and caught you off guard. You weren’t able to fight the heat that crawled up your neck, so you pretended it was a win that you hadn’t choked on your coffee entirely.

“Oh my gosh, I have to get going,” Joshua’s eyes widened when he noticed the time.

“Oh, okay!” you nodded. “Sorry, I told you I could talk forever about this!”

“Don’t be sorry. Time passes easily with you.”

“This was fun, thanks for suggesting it,” you stepped past his compliment and through the door purposefully. “Oh, it’s snowing!” you gasped, extending your palms upwards to catch a few flakes.

“Pretty,” he murmured, eyes watching you as snowflakes landed in your hair.

“It really is,” you turned towards him, fully beaming now. You loved being outside for the first snow each year. You and Joshua exchanged a laden glance before you couldn’t stand it anymore and excused yourself. It was cold out, but you almost couldn’t feel it.

❄❄❄

“Are you gonna sing tonight?” Elena asked you, eyes bright with curiosity. You tended to be fifty-fifty when it came to karaoke night. Sometimes you were in the mood and other times you weren’t. Tonight you were decidedly on the fence, so you planned to just go with the flow.

“Not sure yet, but I am here to support you,” you grinned, nose scrunching affectionately at her. “Is Amir coming?”

“Yeah, but he invited someone else so he’s waiting outside,” Elena nodded.

“Oh, okay!” you shrugged. It wasn’t unheard of for others to join you, but it wasn’t frequent either. You wandered to the bar to grab a beer while you waited.

“Yo!” you jumped slightly when Amir’s booming voice was accompanied by his hands clapping down on your shoulders.

“Jeebus,” you scrunched your face up at him.

“Two pilsners, please?” he signaled to the bartender before pulling you into a hug. “How’s things?” he asked as you headed back towards Elena.

“Pretty good! How are yo-oh?” you stopped mid-sentence when you saw Joshua sitting with her.

“Hey,” he smiled gently, waving at you.

“What are you doing here?”

“I invited him!” Amir stated as a matter of factly as he took the seat next to Elena at the picnic style table. You climbed over the bench on the other side, taking the spot next to Joshua.

“We’ve been chatting,” Joshua explained helpfully.

“Oh,” you nodded, though you were full of questions, “It’s good to see you.”

“You too,” he nodded, left knee nudging yours under the table.

Your heart flipped in your chest. You hadn’t seen Joshua since your post-rehearsal coffee, but he’d certainly been on your mind. If you squinted, in the right light, you would almost think that he was interested in you. But then again, you’d also thought things with your last partner had been going well just before they’d broken up with you too.

“What are you singing?” you asked, pulling yourself out of your thoughts.

“Well it has to be holiday themed, so that narrows down our choices,” Amir stroked his chin playfully.

“Have you decided?” Joshua turned to you, eyes curious.

“I’m not sure I’m going to sing yet,” you half-smiled at him.

“Oh come on! I’ll sing if you sing,” he offered.

“Why would I care if you sing or not?” you countered.

“Hm. You’re telling me you don’t want to watch me make a fool of myself singing Mariah Carey?” he teased, corners of his lips curling up playfully.

“Wait,” you blinked, “Wait, no I really do,” your eyes widened as you processed his words.

“You’d better pony up then,” he threw you a playful look as he brought his beer to his lips.

Elena watched Joshua with severe interest as he watched you wrack your brain for Christmas songs. He was so clearly interested in you, but she couldn’t tell whether your obliviousness was purposeful or not.

“What about ‘Santa Tell Me’?” she suggested, electing to help you out of your misery.

“Oh! I do like that song!” you smiled at Elena gratefully, “Will that do?” you turned to Joshua, an eyebrow raised expectantly at him.

You honestly expected him to say no and request a rendition of something much more embarrassing, so you were caught off guard when he cocked his head to the side and raked his eyes over you before nodding. Elena’s eyes widened before they flew to Amir to see whether he’d been paying attention to this exchange. As was typical, he seemed blissfully unaware as he drank his beer.

“Do we sign up? Or how does this work?” Joshua asked, craning his neck towards the MC.

“Yep, they have a sign-up sheet there!” Amir nodded.

“Shall we?” Joshua turned to you, extending his hand towards you.

“We?” you couldn’t help the question that escaped your lips.

“I don’t trust you not to chicken out. I would like to watch you put pen to paper,” he grinned mischievously at you.

“Me? Chicken?” you gasped, offended. “I would never!”

“Then let’s go,” Joshua chuckled cooly.

“Fine,” you scoffed, placing your hand in his and following him to the MC’s station.

“Amir!” Elena squealed as she watched you leave. “I think something’s going on?”

“Oh yeah, Joshua likes YN,” Amir shrugged, nodding as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“Wait, what?”

“He told me. Why do you think I invited him?”

Elena’s mouth hung wide open at this revelation. Of all the things she never thought she’d see, Amir meddling was pretty damn near top of the list.

“Am I going first or are you?” you asked Joshua as you held the pen above the sign-up sheet.

“I’ll go first,” he shrugged good naturedly, “It was my idea after all.”

“Okay,” you nodded, scribbling his name and then your own just below it, “No backing out now.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he winked at you. He couldn’t seem to help himself from teasing you tonight.

You watched, fascinated, as Joshua chatted with Elena and Amir. You’d have thought they’d known each other for years, but when you sat down to do the math, you were surprised to realize that it had really only been a few weeks since they’d met. It was a pleasant surprise, but a surprise nonetheless. Pulling yourself out of your thoughts again, you met Elena’s gaze, which was loaded to say the least. When she realized you were no longer spacing out, her eyebrows raised as her head jerked subtly, yet meaningfully, towards Joshua. You knew what she was saying and you maybe even agreed. You just needed to have another mental breakdown or two before you decided what you wanted to do about it.

“Oh, I’m next!” Joshua announced as he watched names on the screen flicker by.

“Break a leg,” you beamed at him. He faltered for a moment at the genuine openness of your smile.

You watched with a mixture of excitement and secondhand embarrassment as Joshua started his rendition of Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’. It was stupid, but you were surprised at how good he was. He didn’t take himself too seriously, hammed it up when it was appropriate, and by the end of it you were smiling widely and singing along. In fact, you were enjoying yourself so much that you practically forgot you were meant to sing after him and rushed on stage at the last minute. Joshua handed you the mic with a playful chuckle, fingers brushing for just a moment.

“Santa, tell me if you're really there Don't make me fall in love again if he won't be here next year Santa, tell me if he really cares 'Cause I can't give it all away if he won't be here next year”

Joshua smiled as he watched you sing. He wasn’t surprised that this song resonated with you. While perusing your music, it had become apparent to him that you’d gone through a big breakup sometime in the last year. He could certainly understand the reluctance to get involved with someone new, but he also hoped that he could prove himself to be a steadfast friend and potential partner.

You smiled impossibly wide as you grooved to the background music; you really did love this song! Inevitably your eyes moved back to your table and you paused when Joshua caught your eye. His eyes had creased into semi-circles and his lips had curled up just slightly at the corners as he watched you. Your brain stuttered and for whatever reason, the next lyrics that left your lips were from the explicit version instead.

“Oh, I wanna let him unwrap me, like oh-woo-oh Get on top of him, by that fireplace, oh-woo-oh But I don't want a new broken heart This year I've got to be smart”

Joshua’s eyes widened in surprise as the crowd erupted in whoops and cheers. The way you’d held his gaze while singing had left his heart pounding wildly in his chest.

“Eee, you did so good!” Elena squealed excitedly when you returned to the table. It took every fiber of her being not to scream over your sudden improv. “I love that slowed version too.”

“Really good,” Joshua half-smiled, thinking furiously about when and whether to make a move.

“Thanks,” you giggled shyly, grateful for the residual adrenaline of performing. “When are you two up? I kinda want to go out and get some air, but I don’t want to miss you guys!”

“We’re not for a while, go for it! Bring us some beers back too,” Amir waved you away playfully.

“Okay, I’ll be back soon!” you waved briefly before heading out the door to the patio.

The gears continued to turn in Joshua’s head until Amir and Elena simply couldn’t take it anymore.

“Dude, what are you doing?” they demanded in unison.

“What?” Joshua looked up, slightly startled.

“Go get ‘em! Now’s your chance!”

“Now?!” He looked panicked.

“They wanna let you unwrap them, like oh-woo-oh,” Elena sang playfully at him.

“Get on top of you, by that fireplace, oh-woo-oh!” Amir harmonized before breaking out into a fit of giggles.

Joshua stood up. They were right, this was the opening. He headed towards the door he had seen you exit through and found you standing outside alone.

“Gah, I don’t know how you do it!” you started chattering when you saw him, “I still get such nerves about performing in front of crowds like that!”

“It doesn’t really ever go away,” he smiled reassuringly, stepping towards you. “Cold?” he asked, watching you blow warm air on your hands.

“I was hoping the fresh air would help me calm down a bit, but now I’m just cold,” you laughed sheepishly.

Joshua chuckled, folding his long fingers over your hands and pulling you towards him. You swallowed audibly as you looked at him, heart pounding even faster now.

“You are a captivating performer and a talented musician. The nerves never really go away, you’ll just get better at managing them,” he gazed deep into your eyes. “You made me feel a lot of feelings up there.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I’m not sure I’ve heard that version before,” he teased, grinning at you.

“I didn’t-, I don’t,” you floundered, but you didn’t really have much of an explanation. You had simply been flirting with him and he was flirting back.

“Can we go out on a date?” he asked, “If things go according to plan, we’ll be here next year too.”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes as you realized he was quoting your karaoke lyrics back to you. It was so corny and yet…it was working. You pushed up on the balls of your feet, leveraging his grip on your hands to pull him into a kiss. You could feel him smile against your lips and when you pulled away, you could see that a single snowflake had landed on his nose. What in the Hallmark movie?

❄❄❄

Thanks so much for reading! Would love to hear what you think and please also check out the other 'snowventeen' fics!

[mint-merriment]

things about the rhythm doctor act 5 update

just some stuff i noticed/liked abt act 5 !

note: this covers the new content added so there Will be spoilers! also i Just bought the game (despite knowing the prior levels through youtube hee hee) so this is from the perspective of someone playing seamlessly through the acts :)

misc pre-act-5 stuff:

i dont know if the 'simulated' option was there before, but it is very cool actually!

after playing 1-xn (act 4 boss), instead of the credits playing, paige suggests the intern take the day off. the screen fades to black and we are implied to have had a restful day before coming into work the day after and starting the cutscene with hailey and logan

from the steam page, i noticed that you have to play 2-1n in order to start act 5, so i purposefully didn't play 2-1n to see what they would do. (now that i think about it, this definitely is because the boss level uses the 'skip a beat' cue that is introduced in 2-1n's tutorial.) in order to let you know you need to know about skipped beats on svt patients, nicole blocks the doorway to the physiotherapy ward and asks you to go check on cole because he's got a bit of writers' block. it then cuts to 2-1n immediately so you can play it!

before you play 5-1, the ward takes the appearance of the field (which confused me a lil). after the level finishes, the illusion of the field dissipates to reveal the actual ward :0

5-1 & 5-1n:

in the level itself, the background sign counts your hits! other things are also displayed on the lights of that sign when its shown (such as the 'ready get set go' from the nurse, imitation of static during the rainy part, etc)

whenever you have to hit a "two" or "three" or etc, the lights that orbit the patient have that number of beams. nice visual cue there

the beat right before the cutscene where paige is startled awake by lucky, the ball is flung at the screen. even if you hit it perfectly, the animation that plays is lucky's early/late animation- ie, the one where his rotator cuff is tearing :(

speaking of. paige was sleeping/dozing off next to lucky to be startled awake in the first place, and throughout the level and after she notes that he might be feeling anxious

whenever you're cued for "four", lightning flashes in the background. this is just cool to me

in the second half of the level, the hospital ward actually glitches in and out! good foreshadowing for what the actual ward looks like on a first playthrough

5-1n actually starts with ian's hand as a fakeout- you might think he'll take the first few beats, but it immediately fades into the dream where our hand is taking the procedure, and transfers over to real life too

the miner actually has a single held beat in this level, with a unique running animation! foreshadowing his appearance in 5-3 intermission :)

"one slip, too late, three strikes, for me" I LOVE WHEN THE LYRICS COUNT!! AND ALSO IT COINCIDES WITH HOW MANY BEATS YOU HAVE TO HIT THAT TIME. (these lyrics also show up on the sign in the background!)

when logan says 'my hero would never hesitate to take his shot!', hailey joins in from the word hesitate. to me, it reads like he's said this a lot before and she knew what he was going to say, which is quite cute

the second chorus was from the trailer! which. is where they got it from probably lol.

5-2 & 5-2n:

5-2's tutorial has new tutorial music :0

the song itself is called lofi beats for patients to chill to, which is obviously a reference to 2-1 lol

speaking of 2-1, in the level proper, the part after the short cutscene between ian and paige includes that one piano part from it (specifically the part synced to the samurai's heart that ian is doing)!

ahh the classic 'i thought i was getting better so i went back to normal and made it worse' :(

i do like the snickety snick sound of the freeze cue! as well as the texture of the ice, it is very... cool B)

the tutorial (of 5-2n) shows the continuing friction between ian/paige vs edega, focusing on ian. edega is trying to push the rhythm doctor program to be something it's not really, which is just a tasty lore bit (i talk more about the story below)

...okay so 5-2n is sooooo hard for me, specifically me, but maybe also some of you. but it is a banger! and the burn/freeze beats are a very cool concept. (also the burn cue sounds very.. blacksmithy? it reminds me of that one forging minigame in patapon.)

the 'stage' thing is cool, introducing us to the individual concepts, before we get thrown off the deep end. very difficult, very fun. this level will haunt me.

i also liked the background ! oh yes and also: the mythical "5" cue :0

5-3:

5-3 is an intermission! one revolving around held beats haha, fittng for our second character- the miner! i liked the miner's reintroduction, and how his philosophy and views on life and his own health ended up greatly affecting lucky's viewpoint as well. as we see in the future!

the digging through bag to find things and multiple other random things being thrown out was very funny :)

samurai being at the other end of the bungee cord lmao

its nice that miner doesn't even know who lucky is, it makes their interaction a lot more genuine without the veil of 'fan' and 'guy who has fans' :) (even if it is a bit of a hit to lucky's ego oof)

i also really enjoyed the conversations overheard! cole not knowing anything about baseball players was funny, and mr and mrs stevenson reunion was so touching,,,(and also the birds hehe.) i love how they conveniently narrated it so that someone who isn't physically there can know almost exactly what's happening

this also really shows how much the hospital is a community of its own now actually. paige calling everyone over to see the reunion, even wondering where we, the intern finger, are. the doctors work very hard to make everyone's stay comfortable, and i'm glad that everyone's comfortable enough to be reaching out and finding this moment touching.

also speaking of which. its very funny and very in character that the reason mrs. stevenson wasn't moved to mr. stevenson's room earlier.. was that everyone involved forgot about it oops. at least the birds are there too!

annnd as evidenced by 5-x's pre-treatment notes, the miner's words seems to have really helped and affected lucky! good job!

(also. i got an s- on this the first time. dunno if you can get an s+)

5-x:

now. 5-x. the BIG ONE. god its so good but you already knew that

a preface for everything: the window movement is IMMACULATE. IMMACULATE I SAY.

the crunchy guitar chord coming in right as the screen pans up to the sunset-sky and the 'boss stage' fading in was PERFECTION. BY THE WAY.

i like the window moving like a clock! and sometimes, each tick actually ticks over to a different scene at a different time, with different people in the hall (but edega watching from that observation room at all times. unnerving)

the snapshots of people hanging out is also really nice, i like seeing that most have come to visit :) and also in multiple combinations! they are all hanging out :D

i cant get the blast beats perfectly, but i like the timing and occurrences of them- syncing really well with the lyrics/song!

"it'll never be a hundred percent. you have to make peace with that" this line hit me so hard. i have nothing else to say. its a good quote.

this scene is just good actually. it shows that the miner and lucky have spent enough time together, and when he responds to that quote with "i know... it's just..."? that speaks of understanding! and he was also spontaneously willing to share why he strives so hard, which lines up with all of his previous behaviors perfectly.

this cutscene also acts as a checkpoint; if you fail after it, restarting quickly returns you here! (during my initial playthrough i only failed twice, once before and once after)

SAMURAI COMING IN CLUTCH WITH THE "CAN YOU TEACH ME BASEBALL" thank you samurai you've done us all a great service

i really like how when the running sections start up again, everyone who was shown to have been roped in shows up in the next one (ie logan and hailey joining after the box of beans part)

also. the return of beans hopper! nicole's coffee throw being repurposed for baseball! cole and the samurai (who are of course friends since at Least 2-2n) texting each other! cole's "X" response before immediately after being shown running with the rest of them! (interestingly, nicole doesn't show up in the next running scene. maybe because she was designated as pitcher??)

also, lucky is running Behind everyone, the samurai is rolling/skating/thats his run animation apparently, hailey and logan are running together, and cole is running ahead of them all. fitting!

the team!! the people who were roped into this impromptu team include: samurai, logan, hailey, cole, nicole, lucia, hugh (farmer), miner, and the insomniac. thats... almost everyone lol. besides the birds, the stevensons, and the doctors

lucky's 3am thoughts were portrayed really well. imo, even though it doesn't seem like it, i believe that this game does mean something to lucky, though maybe this isn't realized until after the game. the virus kicks in here, and the screen movement is very intense here

glad they included him brushing this negative mindset in the morning to focus for the game though! late night thoughts can be very mean...

the lil graphic of the game playing out under lucky's heartbeat was really cute. glad they didn't go the 'intern, you must now treat Every Patient Here while they're playing' route (though that might be what is implied actually happened storywise rather than gameplaywise? through paige and ian's convo). ayo, hailey scored!

THE BALL BOUNCING AROUND THE SCREEN WAS SO GOOOOOD AUGHHHHH . fun fact the first time i saw it i was so entranced by the ball richocheting that i forgot i had to hit it. i think thats where i failed here lol. also, the parallels between the samurai and lucky here are quite thematic

ahhh lucky's final speech to the team! it resolves his feelings about his coach (whom, as we know, didn't think he could succeed in the role he wanted to play, but from whom lucky still sought validation from), and also helps him portray his own thoughts about his stepping away from baseball for a time to recover.

fun fact: if you fail between the game's start and the final speech, lucky expresses doubts about this being worth, but the players are still ready! they aren't backing down yet!

and of course. they win!! lucky refuses dr. edega's treatment, preferring to stay at the hospital for an extended period of time for his physical therapy :)

fun fact: i talked to the janitor after this (the janitor has some surprising insights actually) and while he was tempted to join the team, he ultimately didnt, instead deciding to cheer from the bleachers! thank you janitor

(also. this poor, poor local university team. they got beat by a cobbled-together team consisting of *checks notes* patients at a hospital who literally All have some sort of heart problem, ranging from some teenagers to people who have been doing hard labor or been incredibly sleep deprived for years. f on their part. but also a big name baseball player was coaching them, so that softens the blow haha. still tho. teenagers. thats gotta suck for them. lmao)

and! even though lucky hasn't been added to the credits (which perhaps the final release might change?), the roof where paige sings still has the net and baseballs strewn around :)

bonus 4-4n because it was also added:

spoiler: it was very cute. im glad they added it, it's very fitting!

the 'skip' cues were quite underutilized before, so im glad that they used them here (especially to signal that the characters were going to speak a short sentence, hehe)

NICOLE ACOUSTIC GUITAR!!! from all the way back in 2-4!! glad she's trying it out again :)

also its SO cute that she dusted off her skills because she was thinking about cole, perhaps wanting to make a song for him.

can't believe that when asked if they were thinking about playing for someone, neither cole nor nicole answered properly.

also. their hearts are beating in sync here. there is no one else to call the other heart's cues, the nurse is enough for both.

((sorry, i love act 2. they are so good.))

logan doesn't have heart eyes on hit, because hailey's out of town :(

leitmotifs!! i like the guitar from 1-2 coming back in for logan and hailey. and also the samurai's part threw in a bit of 1-1 too !

about the story+misc thoughts (this one is WAY more rambly):

this act is about lucky's struggle with his hospital stay, and also brings edega into the spotlight a bit more with the overarching story.

actually, this act is structured a lot like act 2 (which is. my favorite act actually)(all the times is SO GOOD OKAY) but only one person; it uses mostly two-beat rhythms, the first night level is a song with lyrics and the only lyric'd song before the boss, including an intermission, and a moving window final boss (with lyrics!). it also focuses on a singular (2 patients in act 2) patient's struggles for multiple levels, rather than multiple recurring patients for the levels, which i think really fleshes out said character a lot.

and i really like lucky's story! he was so impatient to get out, worrying about losing everything he had built for himself, but through the efforts of everyone at middlesea hospital, he realized that he could take it slow, that he won't suddenly be nothing if he takes the recommended amount of months to heal, and even if he steps away from the game. (i think his friendship with the miner was so good for him, im glad they brought the miner back)

as for the overarching plot, it brings the question of 'if the rhythm doctor treatment is really effective, does this make traditional medicine more obsolete?' and... the answer is actually no. in 2-4n, paige brings up that the rhythm doctor treatment only stops the symptoms, it doesn't treat the cause. and that's what she and ian are actually there for! (although paige does start to wonder if it'll ever get to the point where the rhythm treatment Can solve such things. shelve this for now)

we, the intern finger, are merely throwing a rope to a drowning person. paige and ian (more prominently paige bc ian is splitting his time working on the rhythm doctor program) are the ones actually pulling them back to safety- recovery takes time, and while some problems can be solved with a bit of rhythm defibrillation, Not All Of Them Can. in my mind, the ideal scenario is the rhythm doctor program supplementing a full hospital staff, but...

worryingly, edega doesn't seem to have picked this up, or if he has, he's deliberately ignoring it. as seen before and also in 5-1's tutorial, he's allowing the hospital to remain understaffed while pivoting towards the rhythm doctor program. he's pushing ian to make the rhythm doctor program do more things than what its meant to, as evidenced in the 5-2n tutorial, and in the pre- and post-5-x conversation. (and possibly more but those are the ones i remembered fastest.) ian has actually figured out what's causing the connectifia abortus (and what a shock that was, to learn that the program itself is dealing with inherent glitchiness), but edega making him work on other things is stopping him from being able to fix it. (ian also mentioned edega's plans for a 'miracle cure' which is. hm. worrying to say the least.) i am intrigued about the plan to distract edega long enough to let ian do his job tho...

also. edega's theme is very unsettling. make of that what you will.

if you're down here thank you for reading! tl;dr rhythm doctor act 5 update Good :)

[inhibitionfreewriting]

r u a noah kahn enjoyer? not sure if ur taking requests rn but northern attitude for ludwig

oh not this song make me feel a lot of emotions 😳 okay.

listen. i've never heard this song until you suggested it. first of all, thank you for the suggestion. second of all, my heart vomited this up but i like it.

there will be AT LEAST a part 2 because when i got to where i got to i was like okay time to put it down and look at this again tomorrow. this is my version of putting down a piece of art to look at mistakes tomorrow, except i'll be writing more tomorrow.

-- PART 1 --

You and Ludwig hadn't seen each other in a few years, a fall out due to graduation and time. It's funny, they say you'll lose the friends you made in high school but the ones in college are friends for life, yet here you were with one of your friends from high school asking you how you knew Ludwig.

"We went to college together. We were study buddies, how do you know Ludwig?"

"He's a streamer - how do you," she stopped and put the picture frame down. "How do you not know that? You're online, like, all the time?" You shrugged. You were on your computer all the time but you worked on graphic design, you weren't necessarily on the internet. Half the time you just listened to music.

The curiosity gets to you though, would he remember you? You certainly remembered him - plenty of nights in one of your rooms, working on homework together, a night or two drinking shitty wine and watching a movie. A love found but lost.

you: hey ludwig not sure if you still have my number but we were friends in college, heard you are a big streamer now, good use of an english degree lol

An olive branch, a life line, even. You put your phone down, either he'd delete it because you seem like some random fan or he had your number blocked. Within minutes though, you had a reply.

Ludwig: how could i forget you i wouldn’t have passed biology without you. glad SOMEONE appreciates my english degree; usually i’m roasted for it 💀

You laughed. You made fun of him for it from the moment you met him, it made sense that everyone else did too. Conversation flowed easily. You couldn't remember the last time you laughed so hard, and honestly, he couldn't either. It was easy for you two to fall back into a rhythm, like it had only been a weekend apart.

Ludwig: would you ever want to get lunch or something?

He would never admit to how long it took to get the courage to ask, just as you would never admit how little thought you put into your 'yes of course!' reply.

--

Just a few days later and you were walking into a little café with him standing up to greet you and banging his knee into the table, yelping.

"Oh my god you didn't have to stand, I'm not the president," you laughed, crossing the distance and embracing him in a long awaited hug. He returned it, shrugging off your comment and for the first moment of many today, it felt like nothing had changed at all. Ludwig's arms tight around you, he still smelled like the same mix of deodorant and cologne. Something akin to a forest, teakwood... maybe birch. Something generic but home to you.

"It's good to see you," his voice was quiet in your hair, almost lost. There was a pounding in his chest that made his hands sweat and when you pulled away he anxiously rubbed his palms against his jeans. You both sat, your bag sliding between your feet at the table and conversation flowed like a waterfall.

How has life been? How are your folks? Do you still talk to anyone from school? How do you like streaming? What's been the best part of the experience? Are you in love with anyone? What do you do now, for work? Do you like it? Do you still go to the movie theater? Do you still think of me when you watch Crimson Peak?

"Do you still have that stuffed chipmunk I won you?" He leaned back in his seat and knocked his feet into yours. Suddenly, the embarrassment bubbled up onto your face, cheeks getting hot-hot-hot and he noticed. "If you don't it's okay."

"No I- I do. I uh," you felt like you were going to pass out, Ludwig leaned forward and rested his head in his hands, a shit-eating grin sliding onto his face. "I still sleep with it? It just. Lives on my bed." He wanted to tease you about it, keeping such a stupid memento for the past, what 5-6 years? But any comment was caught in his throat. "Well, say something already! I know you want to!"

"I-I'm just happy you still have it... would have thought you'd toss it out or somethin'," he found it hard to look you in the eyes, choosing to look at the cup on the table.

"How could I ever throw Mr. Stripes out? He was basically our mascot to get through tests. He's my good luck charm." You knocked your foot into his a few times, light taps and he looked back up at you with an almost nervous smile.

Hours had passed, drinks and snacks had come and gone. Your volume had only gotten louder and the laughter more rambunctious. One of the employees came over and Ludwig wiped the tears from his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, we're about to close for the rest of the day. Do either of you maybe want anything to go?" You shook your head, finally calming down from laughter.

"Thank you, I'm okay. Lud?"

"I'm good too," he shook his head, standing up. "Sorry if we deterred any customers, didn't mean to be so loud." The worker shook her head with a pleasant smile.

"It was nice to see you and your girlfriend on such a nice date."

"Oh we're not-" "We're not dating."

"Oh! I'm so sorry. Anyway - we close in a few minutes. We hope to see you two again." She left before you could reassure her it was fine and not an issue but Ludwig was holding his hand out like you need the help to stand up. You take his hand regardless after grabbing your bag.

"You uh, wanna come back to my place?"

"Sure."

[theguardianace]

acey. how do you ap things.

honest answer? idk man i think i just get possessed for 2 minutes

but if i were to guess-

SET UP

create a perfect locker team. technically, 4* cards will give you the effect longest as a base (5.5 s), but a fully upgraded 3* card will beat that time by a full second (6.5). And, if you're going for an ap, you're probably not going to need that extra degree of safety. lol

^ this is my team! all have maxed out skills.

turn on the ap effect (the rainbow numbers) and the early/late/wrong way indicator (self explanatory) in settings. they help you adjust!

on a related note- if you keep getting a lot of earlies, your speed or offset might be too slow. reverse is true for lates. try adjusting them slightly if you notice a pattern! (i use a speed of 11.0 and no offset, but it's different for every person and device. most i've seen use between a speed of 10.3-11.2).

PRACTICE

start by practicing getting aps with normal difficulty songs. (or easy, but i personally find them to be really really boring). a lot of times people (me) mess up right at the end because they're like omg ap omgakfjdkljafjdkajfkas and then tap a great. if you get used to the feeling, when you try harder songs, you'll already have that basis!

only do songs you've been close with before. if you can't consistently full combo it, you won't ap it. i won't add one to my list of "songs to attempt" playlist until i've gotten it to less than 5 greats in a casual attempt, tbh.

get familiar with the beatmap. play it frequently without the pressure of trying to ap it so you know where the tricky spots lie, then practice again!

ACTUALLY DOING IT

on an actual attempt, DONT FREAK OUT. just play! listen to the song, keep the rhythm, and keep going till the end, no matter what.

unfortunately, you do actually have to pay attention to what direction flick notes are. boooooooo. some people say swipe in a direction, screw it if its the wrong one, but i prefer to stay neutral on the chance it will pick up anyways. once you actually figure out the pattern on them, then swipe intentionally.

if you start getting frustrated with a song, simply stop playing it! you won't get an ap mad. try out a new song, come back to that one later.

it feels like this every time. every single time.

even so... it's pretty fun!! it's quite a satisfying sound when you actually get it. the rainbow diamond is super pretty. shiny title thing. bragging rights and an inflated ego are nice rewards too.

and. the craziest part. the more you practice. gasp. the better you get. i've gotten to the point where i can ap most every hard song (if i really tried to) on sight reads, and have even gotten a few masters on sight! crazy, considering when i first started, i thought clearing Stella expert was impossible.

go. have fun. dont throw your tablet in rage.

[millepara]

for fun yesterday I did a lot of experimenting with coords and tags to see what gives the best score. starting with the conclusion abstract:

the Brilliant Prince cyalume is equally effective as the usual green Twinkle Ribbon SCR for grinding.

BUT if you're creating a promise, you're very slightly better off with the TR SCR because it's more likely to get filled, as not everyone has the BP CR. (this was not something I tested for, but something I inadvertently found out in the course of experimenting.)

details and numbers below 📝 📈 📊 (extremely boring and long)

various disclaimers: I'm 100% sure all of this is on twitter already, but I don't use and thus can't see anything on there. mega thanks to Idollandhero Hayami for being my only source for what's going on over there and making me realize that this was even something to check out, and for Luna's post pointing out the BP cyalume was a viable green coord alternative. I shan't tag you bc I don't want to even accidentally make someone read this post.

also, don't pay attention to the reward amounts when I joined others' promises, bc at those times I was focusing solely on coord bonuses and not the rhythm game. the score bonuses are the same amount whether creating or joining a promise, but joining takes less time. a lower score just means I was playing OPEN DREAM LAND according to the beat map in my head rather than the mistaken one in the game lol

background 🧬

your score is composed of:

base score. what you get from the rhythm game

rank bonus. silver rank is +1000 iine (bronze +500?)

heart bonus. max is rainbow x3 +3000 iine (rainbow +1000, gold +800, silver +500)

assigned coord bonus. premium pripara rare is +10000 iine (idk what others are)

hashtag bonuses. 5 gold tags gives you, in order, +1500, +150, +300, +450, and +600 iine. 4 gold tags removes the final +600 and +1 silver tag is only +500, so 5 gold tags is best (i.e. 5 gold = 3000 vs 4 gold + 1 silver = 2900)

I always use the green TR SCR without paying attention to the numbers, so I wanted to verify if/how worn coords affect your bonuses, and if wearing all parts of a coord or having the same tag multiple times (like the BP CR) do. these are things that were true in the arcade game, so maybe they matter here too? ...is what I wondered.

experimental procedure 🧪

the TR SCR has 2 gold tags, with no gold tag on the shoes. but changing them to the BP CR ones, adding a 3rd gold tag, gives the same 5 gold tag bonus as above, in the same order. (tags in the coord being worn are marked with a ⭐︎.)

this is true no matter what order the tags themselves are in. above the unworn #今日もあまってまーす (from the Dressy Ruby coord) gave 1500, below the worn #gold did.

wearing the full TR SCR gave the exact same bonuses as well, despite having only two gold tags on the coord:

finally, wearing the full BP CR (worn gold tags are #cyalume coord x3 and #prince for a total of 4) was... exactly the same!

and in all of these, the assigned coord bonus was the same +10000 too.

last was to confirm that they give equal rewards when creating a promise. I did Chaotic Hurricane for both of these, and both have a perfect score, so all rainbow hearts, all x3 on appeals and making drama, and full cyalume change bonus.

the same! this is also the same as the max score with the green SCR before the Dark Nightmare tag was removed, btw.

conclusion 🔬

the coord you wear does not affect the tag bonuses at all. they are entirely determined by the tags you own. wearing or owning more items with the same tag also doesn't matter. basically, as long as you do a promise with 5 gold tags you own, you get the maximum tag bonus.

the coord you wear is only relevant to the assigned coord bonus, which is the same for the BP CR and the green coord. I guess there are paid or gacha coords that give that bonus too, but the rarer a coord is, the less likely you are to fill a promise with it as the assigned coord. it's best to create a promise with easily-available coords and tags.

future research 👁️

I do have an unsolved mystery. both of the above had a base score of 14175,

but the first time I tried creating a promise I got a base score of 14170, despite having what I thought was a perfect score. all the bonuses were the same, and the rewards were only 1 iine and 1 i$ less

so in terms of grinding, it super does not matter. but it does matter when my goal is trying to figure out score mechanics. now I probably just got a x2 on the appeals or making drama without noticing, but I was watching pretty hard. and I'm pretty sure a miss there knocks off more than 5 points? I had photo evidence of getting all rainbow hearts and I got a full cyalume bonus as always, so...???

the other option is that... your team's coords matter?? this seems incorrect, but the only difference in that first promise was that one idol had different shoes and accessory. all the ones I did after (not just the 2 pictured) had 5/6 or 6/6 coord items assembled, so it's literally the only difference I could think of?? I really genuinely think I just missed a note though. the way to check this would be to screen-record lives, miss notes in a variety of ways, and see how that affects the score, but... even I have my limits.

also: songs. I'm interested to see definitively what song is best, but I'm putting this off until OPEN DREAM LAND's untenable beat map is fixed. it is definitely a better choice than Chaotic Hurricane, which I always use, but I'm afraid of accidentally memorizing the wrong rhythm. and personally I would do anything to avoid hearing Cool Star, so idk if it's better than Chaotic Hurricane or not. I think a couple paid songs are better also, but it's so difficult to fill those promises that it's best not to rank up with them.

last, I wonder about the red+black VIP coords because they seem like idol land's version of Mystery Rares (which were v high-scoring), but... I don't have one. and even if it was significantly higher, it would be impossible to fill that promise, so it couldn't possibly matter.

🗝️

if you read all this, congratulations and forgive me. if you have any questions, let me know. I think I explained everything badly and maybe I assumed everyone knows stuff that maybe they don't? not to mention that I've made and joined promises so many times now that maybe I can help with something other than what's here too.

[meanlesbean]

For the WIP game 3, 18 and 11

For Cadence chapter 2:

3. Who's your favorite character for this chapter/fic?

So even though this fic is Twilight POV, and therefore very Twilight-centric, I am 100% writing this because I wanted more Time (including younger Time) content, and I have 20+ years of brainrot about Ocarina of Time to get outta me. So uhh my favorite LU boy is Time. by a longshot (lol). And that holds true for this fic. But the plot I came up with does not work at all with Time as the POV character, so it turned into a Twilight & Time relationship fic as well.

When it comes to the fic, it feels unfair to choose between Mask and Time, but I'll choose Mask because he is a delight to write. For this chapter in particular, I'll pick Hyrule, because he ended up with a lot of good dialogue.

11. What scene are you most hyped for this chapter/fic?

Previously answered, but I'll give you another. In the current outline for chapter 4 (estimate, don't hold me to this, chapter 3's outline is already so incredibly long) we have a Plot Critical Fishing Trip that I'm excited to write.

18. Share the scene you just wrote, written from another character’s POV.

Snippet of Mask's POV at the beginning of the Grown-Up Talk scene. Disclaimer that Mask should not be taken as a super reliable source for so many reasons, one being that he is 11. This also has zero editing so don't judge it too harshly. This now has some editing but nowhere near what I do for posted chapters. Anyway, bone apple teeth:

The one with the pink hair pulls the prissy guy away. “Finally,” Link mutters to Epona, and he gets about five full seconds to himself before there's another one taking prissy guy’s place.  

It’s the skinny kid, the only one with enough magic to cause a problem besides the wolf and him—the other one. Skinny kid's magic tastes like the waters from a fairy fountain. It’s rolling off of him in waves even though the healing session’s stopped, the tips of his fingers still glowing a faint green. He’s young, but he should have better control by now. 

Link unwinds another braid from Epona’s mane. Her coat and hooves look nice enough, but he’s going to have words with the wolf about mane lengths and stupid hairstyles. His fingers catch on another tangle. Maybe he should just cut her mane himself. 

The kid is talking at him now, but Link looks past him to the clearing’s edge where the wolf is arguing with pinky and prissy. It’s problem number two on his list, and not something he can deal with until he has a chance to talk with the other guy.

Problem number one is laying across the lap of the guy with the white cape. There’s no mistaking the sword even in its sheath. The guy is running his fingers over its etchings in a circular rhythm, back and forth, back and forth. Stupid, holding that sword like it’s some kind of security blanket. 

Unlike you?

Stupid, shut up. 

Something sharp flicks his forehead and drops in his lap. A still-green acorn sits in the curve of his tunic. He glares up at the skinny kid, gets another mouthful of fairy water, and flings the acorn back at his stupid face.

The kid dodges, but Link still gets him in the shoulder. Should’ve thrown it harder. 

“Fuck off,” he says.

Skinny kid smirks. “Managed to get your attention, didn’t I?”

“Managed to piss me off is what you did.” He sinks his fingers in the soil, clenches his teeth so he won’t start pulling up clumps of dirt and pelting him with it. 

“The rancher explained who we are, right?” the skinny kid asks.

“Yeah,” Link says. The dirt digs under his nails. He can feel the eyes of the other one on him. He wants a rock in his fist to throw, he wants to stop choking on fairy water, he wants to stick his hands in the ground and turn this whole clearing into an abyss, he—

He bites at the inside of his cheek until he tastes blood. 

Idiots, every single one of them.

And you?

Especially me, shut up.

The skinny kid is still talking. “You don’t want to learn about any of the other heroes?” 

Link can’t help but make a face. “No?”

[felixantares]

10 First Lines tagging game

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway

okay well I definitely don’t have ten and I don’t have any posted works, but I guess I can share some unposted stuff! thank you for the tag @the-francakes!! 💚

1. Somehow, in all his time fighting, Harry hadn’t given much thought to what would come after the war. Even when he had, he never thought he’d be sitting in the cold, watching dusty old ruins and missing the days spent chasing rumours of horcruxes across the country with Ron and Hermione – but that’s exactly where he found himself, sat in silence against a low wall with Ron as leaves tumbled past on an autumn breeze. [tear my heart out slow, my Tomarry time travel wip]

2. The door of Number 4 Privet Drive slammed shut behind Harry, cutting off Vernon’s demands that Harry come back and make Marge right again. He wouldn’t — she’d gotten what she deserved. Still, the satisfaction of seeing her panic did nothing to stop his hands from shaking as he dragged his trunk away from his aunt and uncle’s house. [honestly the first lines for build me no shrines (sing me no songs) are super boring. It’s a series re-write with Slytherin!Harry, some Snupin, some Regulus as Harry’s father, and a (large) sprinkle of Arthurian legend but it starts off just after Harry blows up Marge haha]

3. Peace at last. Here, away from judging eyes and expectations he could never measure up to, so far from those who could hurt him. His world was dark and cold, but it was his and he was finally, blissfully alone. [unnamed ghost!Reg fic 🥰 little ghost man just wants to be left alone but of course he gets pulled from his peaceful afterlife because I’m incapable of letting him be happy]

4. Tick tick tick tick… Pansy sat at her piano, the insistent beat droning through her body—forcing her rhythms, forcing her hands to follow. This was no romanticised, emotive, key-stroking practice session. This was war. Two different metres, two different hands, two months of work, and she still hadn’t conquered these few measly measures. [unnamed Pansmione murder-suicide fic. it’s got pianos and werewolves and extremely questionable medical practices!]

5. Remus let out a shuddering breath in the shadowed hallway of 12 Grimmauld Place. It was just a house, he reminded himself. Nothing to be scared of. [even as a shadow (even as a dream), a post-war wolfstar fic with ghost!Sirius and a haunted house]

6. Standing in front of a decrepit building that hardly deserved to be called a shack, Severus ran through a list of curses he might be able to get away with putting on Petunia. Running from wizards — really she should have known better. [unnamed little Severitus fic idea where instead of Hagrid, Snape gets sent to give Harry his letter]

none of these are posted or even finished because I’m actually allergic to finishing stories and also to putting them where people can see lol but uhhhh anyway, gonna tag @venom0usbarbie @allalrightagain @sandervansunshine @luxuriousmalfoy @lunapwrites and @black-sparroww (not ten but one for each wip anyway) hopefully I’m not tagging anyone who’s done it before!!

[seconddoubt]

trans by neil young ✌️

my favorite lyric: ogh longest answer on earth, this question is taking me forever due to two things 1. i've never been a fan of picking out lines from their context as is, even the most gut punching of lines can be turned into a nothing if it stands by itself, no build up, context, contrasts, etc. and this sort of goes doubly for a concept album, it's hard to point to even just a whole song here as they feed each other to create this sort of sci-fi dystopia, and 2. a lot of the vocoder stuff isn't even meant to be heard properly! neil drew a lot of inspiration for this album from the program his son went through to learn to communicate and wanted the songs to reflect that aspect of you know he's saying something but you can't understand it. but i've been reading the lyrics now, for me the whole thing (simplified) boils down to questions of how does humanity fit in in a world going digital, when we're competing against the perfection of the machine (boy wouldn't it be weird if current events are reflected in my interpretation 🤔) i love how sample and hold feels like a prediction of tinder era dating where we're browsing people like we do products, picking out your perfect partner based on a picture and some specs, there's a line in computer age i love for summing up a lot of the themes of the album "When I see the light / I feel like more than just a number" but ok if imma isolate one song it's computer cowboy simply because i'm in love with the picture it paints in my mind, you've heard of the cyber punk and the cyber witch, but a hacker being a cyber cowboy that's just lovely, isn't this part so funny

And the wild coyotes yowl As he trots beneath the floodlights And of course the rhythm is perfect!

my favorite song + the song that's a fucking bop: COMPUTER AGE

the song that makes me cry: lol not even i am crying to this album

the song i most dislike/least love: like an inca

[danielfuckingricciardo]

Because I’m in the Eurovision mood I thought I’d share my favourite song from each country (past and present!)

1. Albania 🇦🇱

2022 - Sekret // Ronela Hajati

2. Andorra 🇦🇩

2006 - Sense Tu // Jennifer

3. Armenia 🇦🇲

2014 - Not Alone // Aram MP3

4. Australia 🇦🇺

2015 - Tonight Again // Guy Sebastian

5. Austria 🇦🇹

2014 - Rise Like a Phoenix // Conchita Wurst

(This song makes me feel emotions every time damn it!)

6. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿

2021 - Mata Hari // Efendi

7. Belarus 🇧🇾

2014 - Cheesecake // Teo

(Underrated tune fr)

8. Belgium 🇧🇪

2015 - Rhythm Inside // Loïc Nottet

9. Bosnia and Herzegovina 🇧🇦

2011 - Love in Rewind // Dino Merlín

10. Bulgaria 🇧🇬

2017 - Beautiful Mess // Kristian Kostov

11. Croatia 🇭🇷

2023 - Mama ŠČ! // Let 3

12. Cyprus 🇨🇾

2018 - Fuego // Eleni Foureira

13. Czechia 🇨🇿

2019 - Friend of a Friend // Lake Malawi

(Was very hard to choose between this one and Lie To Me. It’s a very close second)

14. Denmark 🇩🇰

2021 - Øve Os På Hinanden // Fyr Og Flamme

(Was robbed in the semi-finals imo)

15. Estonia 🇪🇪

2015 - Goodbye to Yesterday // Elina Born + Stig Rästa

16. Finland 🇫🇮

2022 - Jezebel // The Rasmus

(Should have done so much better imo)

17. France 🇫🇷

2016 - J’ai Cherché // Amir

18. Georgia 🇬🇪

2011 - One More Day // Eldrine

19. Germany 🇩🇪

2011 - Taken by a Stranger // Lena

(Better than Satellite for sure, but Satellite slaps too)

20. Greece 🇬🇷

2008 - Secret Combination // Kalomira

21. Hungary 🇭🇺

2018 - Viszlát Nyár // AWS

22. Iceland 🇮🇸

2020 - Think About Things // Daði og Gagnamagnið

(Basic I know but it’s just such a good tune)

23. Ireland 🇮🇪

2011 - Lipstick // Jedward

(Not sorry about this one it slaps and Jedward are my kings)

24. Israel 🇮🇱

2015 - Golden Boy // Nadav Guedj

25. Italy 🇮🇹

(Gonna have to do a top five because I have such a thing for Italy in Eurovision I can’t pick just one oop)

2017 - Occidentali’s Karma // Francesco Gabbani

2015 - Grande Amore // Il Volo

2018 - Non Mi Avette Fatto Niente // Ermal Meta + Fabrizio Moro

2021 - Zitti E Buoni // Måneskin

2019 - Soldi // Mahmood

26. Latvia 🇱🇻

2022 - Eat Your Salad // Citi Zēni

(As a vegetarian and a bisexual I approve this message)

27. Lithuania 🇱🇹

2021 - Discotheque // The Roop

28. Luxembourg 🇱🇺

1988 - Croire // Lara Fabian

29. Malta 🇲🇹

2022 - Je Me Casse // Destiny

30. Moldova 🇲🇩

(My second favourite Eurovision country so here’s a top three)

2022 - Trenulețul // Zdob şi Zdub & Advahov Brothers

2018 - My Lucky Day // DoReDos

2017 - Hey Mamma // Sunstroke Project

31. Monaco 🇲🇨

1964 - Où Sont-elles Passées? // Romuald

(When I say I have an obsession with this song I mean it. PS Monaco plz come back we miss you!!)

32. Montenegro 🇲🇪

2015 - Adio // Knez

- Ranking Morocco doesn’t really feel fair because they only participated once lol -

33. The Netherlands 🇳🇱

2016 - Slow Down // Douwe Bob

(Hehe 33 Max Verstappen number it’s fate fr)

34. North Macedonia 🇲🇰

2012 - Crno I Belo // Kaliopi

35. Norway 🇳🇴

2009 - Fairytale // Alexander Rybak

(Listen I know it’s a basic choice but this song is iconic for a reason y’know? It slaps)

36. Poland 🇵🇱

2022 - River // Ochman

(King of the vocals fr brings me to tears every time)

37. Portugal 🇵🇹

2021 - Love is On My Side // The Black Mamba

38. Romania 🇷🇴

2010 - Playing With Fire // Paula Seling + Ovi

39. Russia 🇷🇺

2016 - You are the Only One // Sergey Lazarev

(Listen I’m a Sergey Lazarev stan first and human second. Between 2016 and 2018 I almost exclusively listened to his back catalogue and nothing else)

40. San Marino 🇸🇲

(Underrated country fr no one gets them like I do so they also get a top three)

2022 - Stripper // Achille Lauro

2021 - Adrenalina // Senhit + Flo-Rida

2019 - Say Na Na Na // Serhat

41. Serbia 🇷🇸

2023 - Samo Mi Se Spava // Luke Black

- Also not counting Serbia and Montenegro because they don’t have an emoji flag and they only participated twice -

42. Slovakia 🇸🇰

2010 - Horehronie // Kristina Pelakova

43. Slovenia 🇸🇮

2023 - Carpe Diem // Joker Out

44. Spain 🇪🇸

2019 - La Venda // Miki

(When I say this song was robbed I mean it. One of the biggest injustices faced in Eurovision was Miki coming 22nd)

45. Sweden 🇸🇪

(Sweden get a top three because they’re Sweden… they always slay)

2015 - Heroes // Måns Zelmerlöw

2012 - Euphoria // Loreen

2017 - I Can’t Go On // Robin Bengtsson

46. Switzerland 🇨🇭

2021 - Tout l'Univers // Gjon’s Tears

47. Türkiye 🇹🇷

2010 - We Could Be The Same // maNga

(Türkiye come back we miss you!!)

48. Ukraine 🇺🇦

(Another slay country so here’s a top three)

2018 - Under the Ladder // MELOVIN

2007 - Dancing Lasha Tumbai // Verka Serduchka

2021 - Shum // Go_A

49. United Kingdom 🇬🇧

(In the name of patriotism, of which I have very little, let’s do a top five + an honourable mention)

2012 - Love Will Set You Free // Engelbert Humperdinck

2022 - SPACE MAN // Sam Ryder

1981 - Making Your Mind Up // Buck’s Fizz

1968 - Congratulations // Cliff Richard

1976 - Save Your Kisses for Me // Brotherhood of Man

+ my honourable mention, Freaks // Jordan Clarke which should have been our song for 2019 but the British general public have no taste. I firmly believe this is why they no longer trust us to hold a national selection anymore lol

50. Yugoslavia *insert flag here*

1989 - Rock Me // Riva

(Basic choice I know, to pick their only winning song, but it slaps)

And that’s everyone!! Feel free to judge me hard for my tastes lol 😂

[staycgrls]

hi taylor!! what are your favorite kpop releases of 2022? 🥰💖

hi rin!!!!!! sorry this took so long 😭😭 i got busy and then i really had to sit here and think 🤔 i know a lot of ppl said this year was boring for kpop but not for me 😌

im doing top 10 albums for me like could not stop listening to for weeks and have the most replay-ability for me !! the ranking doesn’t matter i just like a numbered list lol this got long tho my bad 🤦🏾‍♀️ (also not me realizing while doing this weki meki never put out music this year jssjshsbsbsbbs )

1. 28 Reasons - Seulgi, Favorite track - Dead Man Runnin’ I don’t even need to explain, she slayed, she served, she conquered, and she left :)

2. Young Luv Dot.com - Stayc, Favorite Track - Same Same ofc my girlies are here v good and well produced ep and the video was beautiful !! this and poppy were honestly my favs and i still listen on the reg

3. newjeans - Newjeans, Favorite track - Attention Truly only stanning on a music level because they are absolutely babies to me but I really liked the album, simple and clean tracks that are just catchy but I genuinely hope they stay safe and are able to continue schooling in some capacity.

4. The Reve Festival 2022 Feel My Rhythm, Favorite Track - Bambeleo MASTERPIECE would not call it their magnum opus in any regard but I enjoyed it so thoroughly and the mv made me wish i was back in college so i could show this to my art history prof so thats amazing on its own

5. Heartburn - Sunmi, I loved both tracks and I loved the concept! I like the subtle country vibes and its easy listening; and it gave us Bass player!Sunmi so im pleased :)

6. Horn - Apink, Favorite Track - Red Carpet or Single Rider Honestly a dark horse this year, it was very good and while I usually enjoy brighter songs, I liked Dilemma was v catchy!!!

7. [Apocalypse - Save Us] - Dreamcatcher, Favorite Track - Starlight Though this title track wasn’t their strongest, I loved the showcasing of everyones solos, particularly Gahyeon and Jiu which stayed in my most replayed all year long!!

8. Undo - Heize, Favorite Track - Thief, Ft Minnie So I enjoyed the title and the collabs the most which is par for the course for Heize with me, but I enjoyed the slightly retro, 2000s feel she did with this one!!

9. the collective soul and unconscious: chapter 1 - billlie, favorite track - overlap (1/1) stunning showstopping amazing wonderful truly i liked billlie before but this album put them on the radar for me (and a lot of others) fav hype up title that energy wise was on par with Hi High for me

10. Antifragile - Le Sserafim, favorite track - Impurities I love to dance i love a track that makes me dance, same with the above but it put them on the map for me like huh yunjin is that girl 😤

honorable mentions are ofc forever 1 - girls generation, flash - rocket punch, love dive - ive, and smiley - choi yena !!!! sorry wow that got v long so if u didnt read i understand dndjsbsbbs but tysm for asking me rin!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

[apple-with-sugar-cinnamon]

I never talked about this here because I was already accepting it as such, but two months ago my external HDD died due to my own negligence of doing something in there that I shouldn't have done (guys, don't be like me and cancel a move in the process of a zip file that is over 5 GB big, because chances are that the file never copied NOR deleted correctly. Never again).

Luckily, luckily, I still have 95% of the stuff there available in my laptop(s), but the other 5% is completely, completely lost :)

(and most of them happened to be ns/fw video and audio files from this hellsite :))) )

I know there's stuff to be said here about not being attached to things, especially digital files and such, and I should have seen it coming or something along the lines, but, it is still painful because I tried my best to organize my files in the past four years, and moving them at my own pace and rhythm... just for all that gone back to zero.

(And I still haven't bought a replacement because they tend to be expensive and now I don't even know what brand I should use because I refuse to use the "cloud" - I had an AD*ATA of 2 TB, so I am in the unknown it was a thing of this specific brand's HDD going to EVENTUALLY fail as it was almost 3 years old, OOOOOOR it was what I did and that I shouldn't have done)

The thing is, like I said, I was already acepting my loss.

I mean, sure, okay. It's already lost. I cannot recover some of them especially because they were videos and/or audios from here that I never reblogged. I dunno how... well, "ethically correct" is that, especially since they were some kind of back up of stuff I wasn't going to reblog and they were stacking in my drafts, and coincidentally I'm also working through my drafts because sometimes the higher the number, the more it scares me, lol... and I had PRETTY old stuff that I should have posted or deleted at this point). I know there's also stuff regarding the quality of these or if they are already old shame from their original posters' side... regardless, some good stuff I was also backing up because you never know with Tumblr.

And... that also incidentally reminded me of the Tumblr ns/fw ban from 2018. Between ppl no longer on this site, some of these posts HAPPEN to be now lost in that limbo of "well, tough luck - you cannot see this post anymore on your dashboard or the blog because 'explicitly sexual content' SOMEWHERE on this post's chain of reblogs *shrugs*" and I just... wow, this freaking sucks.

I also never understood why Tumblr also had to block access to the explicit-marked blogs' archives, especially on how this is STILL a thing, when you cannot gain access to a blog's archives on its totality anymore unless you are logged in. Or how you cannot search for anything on one of those blogs (although this is also in a general sense, we all know the in-built blog search also suckss under normal circumstances), and... geez, what a nightmare :/

And all of this is returning to me because I was trying to see if some posts from a previous backup from my drafts were somewhat still accessible in some way or form online, and an specific post was from not just a deactivated account, but also from an explicitly-marked blog that was marked as one of those posts you cannot have access anymore unless you were OP or smth along those lines :/

And all I am thinking is that they could have given us better tools since, but, not even that (thank god they have been slightly "flexible" on some things regarding that kind of content, although we all know that nsf/w is still not coming back :/c)

You gain some, you lose others.

But it STILL fucking sucks.

[imkattymae]

Travel: Fighting jet lag.

If I look back at all the trips I’ve taken overseas, the only time I ever recall being excited is when I finally try to get to sleep the night before - I’m hopeless. It’s like my brain flicks on ‘stay awake’ mode just before I know I need to get to sleep because I have to wake up early for a flight. It’s both frustrating and very annoying! Not to mention that I’m worried about feeling jet lagged and really tired.

It’s funny; I can wake up early in the morning and be really tired but can still last the day without falling asleep.

I must say, I don’t think I’d never actually experience jet lag until I travelled on multiple flights last year over five months.

First... what is it?

Jet lag is medically referred to as desynchronises, it's a physiological condition which results from alterations to the body's circadian rhythms resulting from rapid long-distance trans meridian (east–west or west–east) travel on a jet airplane. (Wikipedia)

In regards to symptoms, apparently everyone reacts differently. If you are traveling look out for these:

Headaches, Fatigue, irregular sleeping patterns, insomnia, disorientation, mild depression

It’s said that jet lag isn’t caused by crossing the International Date Line or the length of the flight, its affected more when traveling across a number of time zones which your body clock is not in sync with, and the rhythms are different from your natural body pattern. It also depends on how quickly your body adjusts to these new schedules, so the fact that I’ve never felt like I have been affected may just be because my body adjusted quicker than most people – thank god! Sometimes I wonder if it’s more a state of mind than anything else, and people overthink it too much. But I agree with my friend, I think it’s all about common sense.

If you have experienced jet lag before and often do, here are some tips that I have found from fellow traveler blogs and friends.

Tips to help you fight Jet Lag

Avoid overeating and caffeine  

OK, like me I can’t usually go a day without a cup of coffee or tea so this one is a tricky one for those who do drink a lot of caffeine. Caffeine does keep you up and awake longer, so it will be harder to try fall asleep and reduces your sleep time.

2. Don’t eat too much on the plane

I do think this should depend on how hungry you are and how long the flight is - you do have to eat. But if you do get hungry often during the flight, try and eat snacks and keep in mind that airline food is cooked at least twice because it’s almost impossible to maintain moisture at altitude.

3. Stay hydrated  

The plane can get really dry and with the circulating air – quite annoying, trust me – that is why I don’t wear my contact lenses on the plane anymore. So it is important to stay hydrating during the flight, you might even want to bring a hydrating spray for our face, and moisturizer.

  4. Try to avoid sleeping as soon as you arrive to your hotel

This can really push your body clock, so try and stay up until it’s actually the time to sleep at your destination. If you are really tired from traveling, take a nap – 20 minutes at most but be careful it doesn’t turn into a 3 hour one. I find that I don’t sleep straight away, even if I arrive at 8am in the morning– you have to let your body adjust to the local time so sleeping at the right time is key!

5.  Limit alcohol intake on the plane   

Alcohol can actually worsen the symptoms of jet lag, so try and avoid too much alcohol. If you feel that having a scotch or wine helps you sleep then that’s fine but remember alcohol can also dry you out and its worse when the cabin air dehydrates everyone – not to mention the effects of alcohol when the altitude changes. Did you know that one drink in mid-flight is the same as two or three on the ground! (I didn't know that lol)

If you really are worried, you can try taking pills like ‘No Jet Lag’ pills on Amazon.

Do you have any tips?

[hahaonlyjoking]

musings on growth

i should really be more consistent when it comes to documenting my thoughts on myself because there are both a number of things that have changed and those that have not at all. since i wrote my last post i started a full time job at an animal shelter, and felt i was getting better! great! there were a few things that came before that such as breaking down sobbing to my therapist after accidentally accepting the job before i meant to and then being perpetually anxious for the first 6 months bc my co-worker definitely did not like me. but! i settled in, found a rhythm, made it work, became happy! decided to go back to school bc i felt i was in that such a good place now that i could do it! quit my job, went back to school. forgot to mention, global pandemic that started about 6 months before my first lecture, got really into baking. made macarons!

first semester i took world politics and photoshop. loved one hated the other. guess which? i loved photoshop so much i decided that my major should be graphic design, and signed up for three classes the next semester! wow! doing so well! second semester and i stopped doing assignments for art history bc it was 1000 words a week and i simply could not make myself do it. the urgency was not compelling enough. but now i was self-aware about my executive dysfunction instead of me literally almost self-harming screaming whyyyyyy. so growth? hmmmm. finished the other 2 classes! woooo! should be a-ok to sign up for 2 for third semester! half-way into third semester the executive dysfunction picks up and i’m not completing work for either class and send a half-assed sorry! gotta drop the classes! to the professor and then ghost. lol. around the same time i stopped going to therapy. they were video calls at this point (still in a global pandemic) and i ghosted there too. my lack of accountability is really going to catch up with me at some point.

anyway, here i am, over two years later and no more credits done since then. lying to pretty much everyone around me that i’m still in school, still working on a degree, still taking meds, still in therapy, still seeing a psychiatrist. i feel as though my understanding of myself has increased leaps and bounds but that’s not something i can really use to help me change my behavior, just analyze it. and saying feel there is particularly noticeable. meaning that is not necessarily true ahahaaaaaaaa. regardless, first step is getting back on meds. i’m exercising now (growth! working w my trauma!), and my hypothesis is that plus the wellbutrin i think i can get back to arf mood. healthcare is currently taken care of *wipes brow* luckily, bc that was part of the reason i stopped getting meds/going to the psychiatrist. i couldn’t make myself deal with health insurance and i couldn’t explain that to my therapist. i do feel like she could’ve reached out more than twice after she stopped hearing from me though. it’s fine, whatever.

so if i was going to make a goal for this summer it would be getting back on meds and signing up for classes again.

but that should wait actually because for over a year my eyes have been deteriorating and part of the reason i haven’t gotten them checked out is health insurance related. so i webmd diagnosed myself with macular degeneration as a symptom of diabetes, went on a keto/low carb diet and lost a significant amount of weight (we’ll get back to that). since insurance’s figured out, probably, and i got an A1C blood test back saying everything was normal it was hard to keep up with the diabetes idea, but i am bc my eyes are still fucked. so that first. i gotta take care of myself bc i’m not a ghost anymore. i am not in a liminal state of being. i am a person who affects the lives of others. i will die, but before that i need to live.

back to the weight thing though, i don’t think i realized how bad my image of myself was until i lost this weight. i think i really hated myself but decided instead of doing that actively i’d just not care about it. a coping mechanism, but it’s created a problem for me now that i’ve lost this weight i don’t want to gain it back. i’ve noticed this thought and have been working to combat it. i think i was affected in a different but similar way to kenna. i was not fat in high school but i became so in about 1-2 years afterwards. it went hand-in-hand with my depression so i think i’ve conflated the two. it also doesn’t help that i continue to get outside positive reinforcement about it. people will say “looking good” and i want to shoot them and then myself. because it’s nice to get compliments but DON’T COMMENT ON PEOPLE’S BODIES!!!!!! an aside, it’s 2023, i shouldn’t have to say that to people my age. so, i’ve been struggling with self-image quite a bit more than i can remember ever doing before.

growth? we shall see.

[piquira]

My only fear is how long it will take for her to leave Spain considering William's situation. I hope she finds a way out asap, she fought too hard to leave to be stuck in Spain till now. And yeah the other fear is her treatment of her music post releasing something. I mean the Biza session is a great opportunity to remarket and rebrand herself and make the song bigger but I see nothing. The treatment of her music is still tragic be it regarding playlisting, radio support, performing or any kind of promotion or investment. It's always the same story after releasing a song. I can't believe something monumental as Session #53 is getting the same treatment. Idk what her label and team even do atp. The song has so much potential to grow and create history but I don't see the hunger and willingness. Letting go of such a huge opportunity is really disappointing :(

I mean, I kinda see what you're saying, but at the same time, the song already created history. The social, viral, and even political impact that this song has had has been unprecedent. One playlist more or less, one more week at number #1 or #2, or one million more or less, won't take away what the song already did. And frankly, fans are more obsessed with numbers than Shakira and her team are. There's nothing wrong with aiming for more, but honestly, its this obsession with these abstract concepts, that totally ruins the moment for me. I've logged onto twitter seeing complete meltdowns over the session falling short of the 10 million streams for the prior day and for a second have felt the panic, until I realize how ridiculous the whole idea is. Like, we were happy with Monotonia & Te Felicito (which we can all agree were also successful Spanish singles) being so close to the top 10 last year and reaching those 2 million daily streams, and now we're panicking because the session didn't reach 10 million streams one day after a couple of weeks💀. Stan culture is that toxic lol. No but seriously, I have hopes that we'll see more of Shakira when the album comes out, but I also think we should acknowledge that numbers and abstract titles, don't mean as much to Shakira as they mean to the stans. Shakira is happy with being able to find success in what she does at her own rhythm. She's done practically all that she could do in her career, I'm pretty sure she's more than content with the outstanding success the session with Biza is having. It did what it had to do (and more) by creating hype for her upcoming album and tour. Shakira is doing amazing right now, we'd all be better off if we just take it all in and enjoy it tbh.