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thisisgonnafuxkinkillme · 3 years

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POV: You Got Wayyy Too High

Warnings: Drug use (weed lol)

Aizawa Shouta/ Eraserhead

“Hey, what are you doing?” asked Aizawa as he plopped his bag at the door. You were trying to smoke weed from a pipe, but instead of lighting the actual herb, you were trying to heat it up from the bottom of the pipe.

You’d never smoked weed, but wanted to try it and bought the supplies from a local smoke shop, as well as buying some good stuff from your friend.

Unfortunetly, you also didn’t bother to look up how to actually use a pipe, instead just relying on knowledge you gained from drug documentaries.

This meant that you only knew how people heated up heroin with a flame under the spoon, which meant that surely you could do the same with weed.

“No, no, no, no. Stop that,” he ordered. You were his age, but nonetheless still buckled under his stern tone.

“Look, do you need me to show you how to do it?” he asked, gently taking the glass pipe from your hand. You nodded.

“Watch carefully,” he ordered, as he properly lit up the herb as he inhaled the smoke. He then passed it to you, watching you carefully to make sure you were doing it right. Soon, you got the hang of it.

Even sooner, though, you were a coughing mess.

“Calm it down, there. Don’t take huge puffs. You’re not impressing anyone here, y/n,” he scolded, taking another puff. He did it effortlessly, as if he’d done it for years. (He has.)

You wanted to impress him, though, even though he seemed to not care what you did. You just wanted to prove to him that you were ~cool~.

Well, this ended up in you looking very... uncool.

While Aizawa was chilling with a pretty decent high, you were laid across the bed, starfish style, blasting music in your ears. You were honestly vibing though, so Aizawa didn’t mess with you. For now.

The next day, he definitely teased you a little bit about how totally out of it you were, and how you listened to the same song on loop for 3 hours.

“How did you know that?” You asked, cocking a brow.

“Uh, because your headphones weren’t plugged in?”

Yagi Toshinori/ All Might

He was smoking when you came home, and though he tried to hide it, you smelled it. He acted as if he was just caught as a 17 year old in his mom’s house.

“Uh, no, it’s nothing! I...I don’t do anything like that!” He insisted.

“Toshi, come on. I can smell it,” you smiled. He covered his face.

“Please, please, keep this between you and I...I only do it because it helps with the pain and-”

You cut him off, “ I dont care why you do it, just lemme have some already!”

Of course, you were just teasing him, and he knew that, but he couldn’t help but ask, “...You smoke?”

You shook your head playfully.

“If you’ll let me, I’d like to try some, though!”

He passed it to you, and you took a way-too-long drag. Instantly, you were doubled over, coughing and hacking your lungs out.

He patted your back firmly.

“Since this is your first time, you’re gonna cough a little. Just try to take smaller puffs and take deep breaths. There you go.”

Once you recovered, and Yagi got his turn, he handed the joint back to you. It continued to be passed back and forth between you two until it was finally no longer than a centimeter.

For a moment, you both just chilled out on the couch together, just vibing. That was until Toshinori noticed your goofy, dreamy facial expression. He chuckled to himself, but that was all you needed to become hysterical, laughing so hard that you couldn’t breathe. Seeing you laugh so much of course made Toshi a mess as well, which only added to your decent into utter madness.

Eventually, though, you both calmed down, and Toshi excused himself so that he could go take a quick bath. He often did this whenever he smoked, so that the warm water could aid even more in soothing his aching muscles and creaky bones.

So you were left alone. Totally unattended. At first, everything was totally fine.

However, as you started to actually feel the effects of the herb, you began to panic.

Is this normal? Does everyone else feel like this when they smoke? Oh God, this isn’t right...oh fuck, I’m gonna be the first dumbass to OD on THC...fuck...

Thoughts whizzed past your brain, every single one making sure you knew how totally fucked you were.

Tears streamed silently down your cheeks as you counted your pulse with two fingers on your wrist, but you coulnd’t find a pulse.

oh fuck...i’m probably going to pass out any minute now...it’s all over...

Images of your final goodbyes to everyone you loved flashed just behind your eyes.

“How’re you holding up, pumpkin?” asked Toshi, coming back from the bath, in a robe and his golden hair still damp.

You looked at him, your eyes red and puffy.

“Toshi...I’m...I’m dying...I love you, okay?” you murmured. He would have laughed, all except he saw the genuine fear in your eyes.

He sat down next to you, surrounding you with all of his lanky limbs.

“You’re not dying, honey. What you’re feeling right now is totally normal, I promise. Take some nice, deep breaths for me. Come on. There you go. Good.”

He cradled you there for a good while, until he felt your tense muscles finally slacken, and your breathing evened out.

Toshi made a mental note to never let you smoke that much ever again, guilt pinching at his sides.

Fatgum/Taishiro Toyomitsu

You had taken an edible cookie from your friend. She told you it was just a small bit in there, just enough for you to feel something.

You decided to be modest, eating just half of the cookie. You didn’t notice any effects, and out of sheer boredom you decided to go ahead and eat the rest of it. No harm in that, right?

Well, an hour later, it kicked in. You were expecting to feel something interesting, but you definately weren’t expecting anything like this at all.

Everything seemed so far away. Even your breathing sounded like it was coming down a long corridor and echoing to your ears. You could feel your soul swimming in your body.

Fatgum, who you lived with, luckily finished his hero duties early, and walked into the house joyfully as usual. He called out your name. You didn’t reply.

His large footsteps could be heard, but you were too busy thinking about how weird breathing sounds to notice.

Fatgum soon found you collapsed on the bathroom floor, face pressed against the cool tile.

Immediately, he propped you up against the wall, looking into your eyes with great concern.

“What did you take? Y/n, look at me. What did you take?”

You lazily looked at him, your face completely serious. As serious as it could be, anyway.

“...i...it was...edible...” you mumbled out. As soon as he understood, he was laughing hysterically.

“s..stop...s not funny...” you grumbled, punching him in the gut.

“Alright, alright... let’s get you into bed. You’ll feel much better once you wake up,” he smiled, picking you up and bringing you into the bedroom.

You quickly were comforted by the warm, heavy comforter. Fatgum took a moment to look at you in your groggy state, trying his best to hold back a laugh. It was so painfully obvious that you’d never done anything like this in your life. His only regret was not being around to witness your ascent into cloud 9.

Soon, though, you had drifted into dreamland.

Hizashi Yamada

You locked yourself in your bathroom, sneakily lighting up the joint you bought off of your friend. Your boyfriend was in his room, playing Fortnite or some shit, and frankly, you were embarrassed to smoke in front of him. You knew that he’d definately find something to roast you about, and he was relentless.

A couple minutes after you lit up, though, the door was basically busted down.

“HEY, HEY! You better be planning on sharing some of that!” yelled Hizashi, his hand already out and waiting. He still had his headset on, but you saw with relief that his mic was turned off. You passed it to him.

“Augh! Where the hell didja get this weak shit, y/n? Nah, this ain’t gonna cut it,” he complained, putting it out.

“Hey! I got that from my friend, dude! What the hell?” you frowned. Before you could be too mad at the waste, though, Hizashi pulled out a small wooden box from under his bed. Opening it, he revealed his stash of entirely too much pot.

You covered your mouth, stifiling a laugh. How the fuck could you have not smelled it?

Within five minutes, he’d rolled up a blunt, and was passing it to you, already lit.

It was gone after a little over half an hour, and you could already feel the effects. Your eyes were dry, your stomach craving junk food, and your brain craving chill vibes.

He returned to his game, unbothered but his volume definately toned down about 5 notches. He was a lot more chill than you’d ever seen him act, ever.

You found your way into the kitchen.

Once his game was over, he met you in there. You were in front of the fridge, pulling out thing after thing. By the time he’d gotten to you, you had eaten half a jar of pickles, three pieces of cake (with your bare hands), drank a bunch of soda, and you were headed for the chips that were sitting idly on the top of the fridge.

“oh, God...what the fuck are ya up to, dude?” he groaned. He did not want to deal with this mess.

You grinned at him. “I dunno, maan... look dude could you just get me these up here? please bro...” you giggled. He sighed dramatically, taking them.

However, instead of handing them over to you, with your dirty little fingers, he ate them.

“stoppp, bro, please lemme get some!” you pouted. He acted as if he couldn’t hear you, leaving the kitchen. You followed after him, kicking him in the shins.

Still, he didn’t seem to notice.

“Hizashi, come on, maaannnn!”

He laid himself on the bed, covering himself with blankets. He pulled out his phone, calling you. “Y/n, I miss you so much, man. Come chill out!” he spoke into the phone, trying his best not to break the act. You were absolutely furious at this point, punching at him.

“I’m right here, you doughnut!!” you groaned. Dramatically sighing, Hizashi frowned, “I really wish y/n was here to sesh with me...” all while still eating the chips. You jumped on top of him.

Finally, you caught him off gaurd, grabbed the chips, and locked yourself back up in the bathroom.

This time, though, he just left you be.

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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years

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Pining John Pt. 2

Please if you have any pining!John fics (like Sherlock accidentally hurts him like he did molly with the Christmas gift) I would absolutely love that!! Thank you so much😊(submitted by @thediamondwoman)

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: hi! New Johnlocker here, this is a fic rec ask, but do you have any fics where John is pining/suppressing/ignoring his feelings for Sherlock? Preferably after TRF, and without Mary in the way, and a slow burn one (sorry for all the preferences just one with pining John would be fine) and thank you for being a blog currently reading all your metas and they are amazing <3333

@i-love-books-and-so-do-you asked: hullo!! *waves* i’m in the mood for some pining john, so i was wondering if you have any good ones? preferably with a happy ending

and may i just say your blog is GORGEOUS like all your fic recs *chef’s kiss* thank you for the literal best johnlock content <33

——-

Hi Lovelies!!!

First of all, thank you for your love for my lists! LOL! These asks just keep coming in, so it looks like I’m overdue for another pining John list!!

That said I do actually have pining John fics, and enough to start a second list! As I re-read fics, I’m able to keep adding all the old ones I didn’t tag ages ago to lists, so that’s fun, hahah. Hope you guys don’t mind me just combining all the pining into one list, hahaah. I get more fics that way LOL!

Enjoy, and feel free to add your own, friends!

See also:

Pining John

Pining Sherlock || [MOBILE FRIENDLY VERSION]

Mutual Pining

Mutual Pining Pt 2

John’s Away (and Sherlock’s Not Okay)

Caffeine and Adaptive Programming by DemonicSymphony (E, 5,540 w., 1 Ch. || Androids AU / Bond Fusion || Android Sherlock, Coffee Shop AU, Pining John Hinted Bond / Q, Toplock) – Sherlock is a coffee shop android slowly falling for a regular customer. But he's not supposed to be able to feel emotions.

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalized Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

There's So Much Labour Just in Breathing Lately by Susan (E, 12,708 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF / Mentions of S3 Events, Romance, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Grieving John, Mutual Pining, Meddling Mycroft, Therapy, Ambiguous Hopeful Ending, Infidelity) – The dreams he hated most – the ones that left him a sweating, shaking mess when he woke – were the ones in which Sherlock was just Sherlock. Laughing or drinking tea. Sitting across the table from him at Angelo’s eating pasta. Trailing his open hand behind him on the way to the bedroom. “C’mon, John. I’m about to have my way with you.”

On The Fence by BeautifulFiction (T, 13,770 w., 1 Ch. || Fencing, Case Fic, First Kiss, Insecure John, Pining John, Hug, Greg Finds Out) – The murder of the King's College fencing champion leads to revelations about Sherlock's past. Will it be the point that tips them from friends to lovers, or will they remain on the fence?

The Invocation of Saint Margaret by Ewebie (E, 15,831 w., 1 Ch. || POV John, Crossing Timelines, Light Angst, Fluff, Series 3 John / Series 1 Sherlock, The Matchbox, Mushy Romance, First Time, Bisexual John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Sensuality, Emotional Love Making, Snippets of Time) – When Sherlock Holmes opens the matchbox from The Sign of Three and John finds himself years in the past, back to that first dinner at Angelo's with a much younger Sherlock Holmes. Is he dreaming?

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Insanity in the Middle by DotyTakeThisDown (E, 28,010 w., 8 Ch. || Equestrian Sports AU || Alternate First Meeting, POV John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Clueless Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Passionate Kisses, Hand Holding, Caught Making Out, Bed Sharing, Spooning, Blow Job) – John is a world-class eventing rider with a gold medal and several four-star wins to his credit, but he's never won at Rolex. Sherlock is an up-and-coming rider taking the sport by storm.

Deck the Halls by itsalwaysyou_jw (T, 31,018 w., 24 Ch. || Advent Fic / Multiple One-Shots, Assorted Tags) – One Johnlock ficlet for every day leading up to Christmas. Who is ready for pining, first kisses, established Johnlock, and everything in between? This collection of stand-alone ficlets will have it all.

The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E, 44,025 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Post-TRF, Case Fic, UST, Homophobia, Friends to Lovers, Pining John, Showering Together, Couple for a Case, Sherlock’s Bum, Fantasies, Jealous Sherlock) – Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants in the course of a case.

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

Inscrutable to the Last by DiscordantWords (M, 48,842 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Alternate S3, John’s Blog/S3 is a Story By John, Divorce, Marital Difficulties, John is a Mess, Emotional Reunion, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Grief / Mourning, Pining John, First Kiss, Adorably Clueless Sherlock, Nostalgia, Love Confessions, Eventual Happy Ending) – He wasn't Sherlock, he couldn't work miracles. All he'd ever been able to do was write about them.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Isosceles by SilentAuror (E, 56,609 w., 7 Ch. || Post-S4, POV John, Original Male Character / Sherlock Dates Another Man, Love Triangle, Jealous John, Virgin Sherlock, Sexual Coaching, Angst, Romance, Domesticity, Unrequited Feelings, Miscommunication, First Kiss/Time, For a Case, Friends With Benefits, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Spooning) – After solving a case for a major celebrity, Sherlock gets himself asked out. When John asks, he discovers that Sherlock has no intention of going, at least not until John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date...

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater / Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #pining john #pining idiots #my fic recs #submission #i-love-books-and-so-do-you #long post

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maaneskin · 4 years

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you, you, you. han jisung

note: she’s done,, she’s finally done when i tell you i’m crying but as always she’s not very good lol

is mc a stoner?? probably

description: as class president, jisung should probably care about the skateboard you have with you in class, but he doesn’t. why? because he’s very much in love with you

warnings: h jisung breaks an arm, hospital visits, skateboarding

wc: 6.5k new record omg

one.

as the class president, jisung should care about the skateboard you always had with you, and placed under your desk during class. but he didn’t. in fact, you could probably throw all the desks and chairs out of the windows, and he wouldn’t find any problem in it.

all his friends knew it, and boy, oh boy, did they make fun of him. out of everybody at the school, he had to be in love with you; a history and science genius, skater, who only hung out with your 5 friends.

he couldn’t help it, though. the combination of your charming personality, brain, and skateboarding skills — all of it made him weak in the knees. (not to mention he found you insanely attractive, especially when you rode your board.)

you were friends. kinda. not really. you knew him and he knew much about you. the two of you never talked outside of good morning’s and if you had a question about homework or an event, something jisung was relatively sad about.

jisung remembers the day he began crushing on you. he remembers it clearly. like it happened no longer than 10 minutes ago. he remembers seeing you skate slowly besides ryujin as she walked. one of your hands on her shoulder, letting her make you roll along, the other holding a cup from a local coffee shop. he remembers seeing you laugh as ryujin made big motions with her hands as she babbled on about something. seeing you in that moment made something inside him click and before he could register or stop it, he developed a crush. a crush that eventually turned into something deeper.

“god, you really just find the bare minimum attractive,” seungmin came up to the table his best friend was sat at, with a judging face.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” jisung moved his head from it’s resting spot on his hand and made eye contact with his friend.

“i’m talking about you being in love with a junkie,”

oh yeah, someone once started a rumor that you and your friends were junkies and did drugs behind the school. jisung never believed them and did his best to shot them down whenever he heard it, “(name) is not a junkie,” he huffed.

seungmin rolled his eyes, “if you say so,”

jisung shot his friend a look, but didn’t get to say anything before a certain cat like person eagerly sat down next to seungmin, “what are we talking about?” felix asked, beaming with his usual happiness.

“jisung being in love with a junkie,” seungmin answered, smiling at his friend.

“(name) is not a junkie,” jisung repeated, throwing his hands out to emphasize his words. his eyes drifted from his friends to you and your friends sitting in the back of the library, laughing. his eyes fell to under the table, where you usually kept your board when you had it with you. it wasn’t there, and it made him furrow his eyebrows.

“he’s doing it again. observing a junkie who’s in love with their skateboard,” seungmin spoke like he was a commentator on a nature documentary, making felix giggle and jisung roll his eyes with a smile.

“shut up, kim,”

“hmm,” seungmin pretended to think about jisung’s words, “you know, i don’t think i will,”

rolling his eyes, jisung couldn’t help but breath out a laugh, as felix giggled again, “you’re so stupid,”

“at least i’m not in love with someone i’ve never had a conversation with,”

“low blow,” felix gasped dramatically, whereas jisung rolled his eyes and turned his attention to his homework.

after finally getting felix to concentrate on his work, silence fell over the three. but jisung still couldn't help himself; he kept stealing glances at you and your friends — though, mostly you. you just looked so beautiful with your head thrown back as you laughed at yuna and lia’s bickering. he let out a quiet sigh as he rested his head on his hand again, eyes directed to your figure.

seungmin noticed his friend’s staring, “the bare minimum,” he whispered, grinning when jisung reached over the table to hit him on the arm.

“shut up,”

“why don’t you just talk to them?” felix asked innocently, happy he could stop studying for the time being.

jisung leaned defeated back in the chair, his eyes drifting to you again, “they won’t like me,”

seungmin and felix shared a look. seungmin sighed deeply. he and jisung were close; they told each other most things — that included crushes, and to say jisung talked about you would be an understatement; he always found a way to bring you up in a conversation. it frustrated seungmin to no end, if he was being honest.

“jisung,” the youngest of the three began, only continuing when he knew jisung’s attention was on him, “you’re a great guy. you’re funny, smart, not ugly, passionate, and so much more, and if (name) doesn't like you it’s their loss,” he spoke honestly.

jisung was at a loss for words and so was felix. seungmin. kim seungmin just said something sweet that wasn’t sarcastic.

seungmin’s face flushed red, looking down into his english textbook, “stop looking at me like that,”

jisung snapped out of his daze and reached over the table again, grabbing seungmin’s hand, “thank you, min, i needed that,” jisung mirrored the smile that broke out on seungmin’s face.

“why do you never say stuff like that to me?” felix suddenly whined, holding onto seungmin’s arm, pouting when the other two laughed.

two.

“hey class pres!”

jisung stopped dead in his tracks. he knew that voice. your voice. he turned around to see you half jogging to catch up to him, “hi, (name),” he smiled awkwardly. much like seungmin said, he had never had a conversation with you, so he had no idea how to carry or present himself to you.

you smiled to him, smoothing out your white uniform shirt, “class pres,”

praying you didn’t notice how he was following your movement, he gulped, “uh, so, what-what do you want?”

“uhm, well,” you scratched your arm, “i need your help with…something,”

“with what?” jisung was suspicious.

“uh, well, mr. choi took my skateboard and i need it back,”

“and you need me for that?”

“you have keys to the teachers offices?”

jisung squinted his eyes at you, “yes?” he said carefully, although it sounded more like a question. his eyes widened when it hit him what you alluded, “i can't do that!”

“please, class pres, it’s only gonna take five minutes max,”

covered in disbelief, jisung looked at you gaping, “i could lose my status!” his eyes were wide, “i've worked hard to become class president and a member of the student council!”

there was a strict policy about how no students were allowed in the teacher's lounge without a teacher, and jisung was not about to break it.

widening your eyes and clapping your hands together, you made eye contact with the boy in front of you, “please, i’ll pay you back, i promise,”

jisung gulped; your pleading made him feel a lot of things. he stared into your eyes, getting lost in them, “i’ll help,” he muttered before he could stop himself, “but if we get caught, you’re taking the blame,” his heart melted when you nodded enthusiastically — you were so cute.

motioning for you to follow him, jisung tried not to show his red cheeks. he probably shouldn’t have been so nervous about simply walking with you, but this was the closest he had ever been to you. he tried not to notice how your hands occasionally brushed against each other, to no avail; everytime it happened, everytime your fingers brushed against his, he felt like his hand was on fire. in a good way.

definitely in a good way.

as you approached the door to the teachers lounge, jisung felt more and more tense — he didn’t even want to think about the amount of trouble he could get in. he would get months worth of detention, his friends were all gonna leave him after he got kicked from the council, his reputation was gonna go down the drain, he was gonna lose everything, they were gonna kick him out of the school-

“aren’t you gonna unlock it?” you asked, standing a behind your class president

jisung blinked blankly at the door, “sorry,” he mumbled, hands fumbling with the keyring he had been trusted with when he became apart of the student council, “i’m just nervous,”

“i can tell,”

jisung could tell you were smiling.

“i can do it if you don’t want to,” you offered, licking your lips; they were really dry.

“no, no, i can do it,” jisung finally unlocked the door, softly opening, sticking his head in to see if anybody was there, “it’s empty. be quick,”

nodding, you went past him and into the empty room, eyes darting around the room, searching for one of your most prized possessions, “there,” you whispered, eyes landing on the colorful skateboard. it was on the top of a tall shelf — you needed a chair to reach it, and the only chairs in the room were spinning chairs.

jisung, on the other hand, was starting to shake. this was too much for his nervous heart to handle. his eyes became comically large at the sound of footsteps nearing the corner. only teachers came down here, so the chances it was just another student was slim.

telling you someone was coming would only alert the teacher someone was there and that would only result in something that would make jisung feel bad. in the midst of his panic, he peeked into the room to see you trying to balance on a chair, that only added onto his panic.

he quickly shut the door and tried to look normal, as the person rounded the corner. it was a teacher, the english teacher to be exact. she was known for being overly strict and just straight up mean.

“hi mrs. lee, how are you?” he chuckled nervously.

she eyed him suspiciously, “han jisung, what are you doing down here? you know you’re not supposed to be here,”

you were leaning against the door, skateboard in hand and a new scratch on your knee, “c’mon, class pres, say something,” you pleaded in a whisper.

as if jisung heard you, he came back to his sense, “well, mrs. lee, i’m looking for ms. han, but it seems like she’s not here,” jisung tried his best to look genuine, and apparently it worked, for mrs. lee hummed and nodded, before walking over to the war wore, grabbing her jacket. shooting the student one last doubtful look, she left around the same corner she came from.

jisung tiptoed after her, making sure she walked away. when there was no sight of her, he let out a deep sigh of relief.

but his relief didn’t last long, before the realization that he just lied to a teacher kicked in, “oh my god,”

walking out of the teachers lounge with a grin on your face, you went over to the boy looked like he had just seen a ghost.

“you good, dude?”

jisung was bewildered as he looked at you, “i just lied to a teacher,”

“yeah, and it was a solid one,”

“i just..lied to a teacher,”

you rolled your eyes but smiled, putting your skateboard on the ground, making sure it was stil before putting both your hands on jisung’s shoulders, “it’s okay,” you shook him gently, “you did great — no harm done,”

jisung finally looked at you; though he felt terrible he broke the rules, the smile on your face was enough to lessen the guilt. the perfume you were wearing was intoxicating to him.

“thank you for the help, class pres. you’re pretty cool,” you removed your hands from his shoulder to pick up your skateboard, with a small smirk on your face, “we should hang out sometime. i’ll see you around,”

astonished, jisung stood still, not saying anything. at least not before you were almost around the corner, “you can just call me jisung, you know,” he called after you.

barely turning around, you said loud enough so he could hear you, “i prefer class pres,” with that you rounded the corner and left jisung alone.

putting a hand over his heart, jisung was breathing heavy, “what the fuck,” he mumbled, before fishing his phone out of his pocket to text seungmin about where he was so he could tell him about what the fuck just happened.

“by the lake behind the school” seungmin responded within two minutes, and jisung was on his way.

“kim seungmin, kim seungmin, kim seungmin, kim seungmin,” jisung repeated to himself, as he approached the younger, who was doing homework at a table, “kim seungmin, kim seungmin, kim seungmin, kim seungmin,”

“shut up, would you,”

ignoring seungmin’s words, jisung threw himself onto his friend, resulting in seungmin making a line across his notes, “jisung!”

“guess what?” jisung ignored seungmin’s words once again in favor for himself.

“what?” seungmin glared at the other, not that he noticed.

jisung’s eyes were wide and his hands were moving around animatedly as he told seungmin what happened in great detail. when he was done, seungmin’s eyes were as wide as jisung’s

“you what?”

jisung sat up straight, “i know,”

“you what?!”

“i know!”

“so- wait, you helped (name) get their skateboard back by sneaking into the teachers lounge and then you lied to mrs lee and then (name) said you were cool and that you should hang out,”

jisung thought it over, “yeah, that’s about it,”

“dude!” seungmin was amazed, but he didn’t know wether it was the good kind or the bad kind, “that’s great! — i mean, not the part where you broke into the teachers lounge and lied to mrs. lee — but you talked to (name)!”

“they’re so,” jisung let out a dreamy sigh — seungmin faked a gag.

“you’re so in love, it’s disgusting,”

“you’re so mean, i’m not,” jisung huffed, looking out over the open field, made of grass and asphalt. students were scattered around doing their own thing, including you and your friends, who were laughing and talking, while walking — you skating — across the asphalt to get to the street.

you noticed jisung and waved, to which he turned bright red and waved back.

“gross,” seungmin commented with an eye roll.

“shut up, kim,”

three.

walking with his hands in his pockets, jisung kicked a few rocks out of his way. the hood of his hoodie was up so his slightly greasy and messy hair wouldn’t been seen; he hadn’t bothered taking a shower before leaving, only giving himself a quick wash in the sink. the black sweatpants he was wearing hadn’t been washed in an embarrassing amount of time and the white t-shirt he was wearing underneath the hoodie was picked up from the floor he hadn’t vacuumed in way too long. but it didn’t matter to him; it wasn’t like he was going somewhere special, just to the movie theater to watch a movie by himself, so he didn’t bother making something out of himself today.

but he regretted it deeply when he saw a familiar white sweatshirt and colored skateboard. what were you doing here?! and why today when he looked like literal trash?! “what the fuck! fuck no, fuck no, fuck no,” jisung was cursing himself, while trying to hide himself by pulling his hood further down his face. he prayed to whatever gods were up there, you wouldn’t see him, and if you did, he hoped you wouldn’t recognize him. unfortunately his prayers went unheard, as you saw him just before he took the first step into the theater.

“class pres?”

he visibly cringed, turning around, “hi (name),” he singsonged awkwardly.

you quickly caught up to him, putting a hand on his shoulder, “class pres,” you grinned, and jisung took notice of how happy you looked, he also took notice of how you held your skateboard. he especially noticed your hands — the veins adorning your them and how long your fingers were (okay, maybe he had a hand kink, like hyunjin once said).

“what movie are you watching?”

jisung’s eyes snapped to yours, his cheeks reddening. he cleared his throat, “uh oh, just- just one of the reruns,” he hoped he didn’t sound as awkward as he felt.

you hummed, “wanna watch one together?”

if jisung’s face wasn’t red before, it was now. his eyes widened, “uh- s-sure,”

you smiled and walked into the theater, one hand gripping jisung’s wrist, the other holding your board.

jisung thought he was going to explode at the skin contact. this was the first time you ever touched him. it was the first time he was close enough to touch you actually. he knew you were a touchy person, having seen you doing a lot of skinship with your friends and simple acquaintances.

he was brought out of his thoughts when he heard you speak to the teenager behind the counter, and was about to protest you paying for both your tickets when you turned to him, handing him his, “i could pay my own ticket, you know,” he mumbled, but you heard him clearly.

“think of this as a thank you for breaking the rules with me,” you smiled, before dragging him with you to the snacks and soda, where jisung paid. you tried to stop him, but quickly found out jisung could be stubborn when he wanted to.

“you didn’t have to pay everything,”

jisung was almost sure you were pouting, but you were walking behind him so he couldn’t see, “but you paid for my ticket,” he smiled, sitting down on one of the chairs, you next to him.

he was right — you were pouting, and god, you were adorable. he cooed internally and had to refrain himself from pinching your cheek. he settled for a small grin before leaning back into his seat.

the movie wasn’t as good as jisung remembered; the animation was terrible and the voices were weird, and it seemed you thought the same thing, because the second you stepped outside the theater both of you burst into laughter.

“that was awful,”

“right!” you grinned, dropping your skateboard on the ground, putting a foot on it, “i don’t remember it being that bad,”

jisung smiled brightly to you, feeling like he might explode if you looked any better.

“do you wanna hang out?” you licked your lips as you asked.

jisung froze slightly, your words flowing around his head. you asked him if he wanted to hang out. you asked him. you were so much cooler than he could ever be, why did you want to hang out with him?

“uh, we don’t have to,” you said after not getting an answer, “i'll just see you monday, class pres,”

jisung, you idiot, say something! “wait! no, i- yeah, we can hang out. sorry, i zoned out,” jisung was sure if you smiled any brighter he would go blind.

“great! where do you wanna go?”

you ended up getting streetfood — sharing a small serving of tteokbokki by the mall close to the theater, “i could’ve paid,” jisung pouted when you placed the tteokbokki between the two of you on the bench, sticking his tongue out at you when you did it to him.

you handed him a pair of wooden chopsticks, grinning, “you should’ve been faster then,”

after throwing you a non-threatening glare, the two of you ate and talked. the conversation was natural and not awkward at all (despite jisung stumbling over his words constantly).

jisung’s heart was beating fast. the entire situation was surreal for him. he had been crushing on you for ages, and now, here he was, eating street food with you after watching a movie. wasn’t that basically a date? jisung wasn’t sure, but it sure did seem like it. his heart sped up as he looked at you. you looked so contect, sitting there with him, eating — slightly — overpriced tteokbokki.

the sun was framing you beautifully, highlighting your face. his eyes directed to your lips, just as you stuck your tongue out to lick them, removing some sauce.though he tried to look away, he couldn't help it. he wanted to lean in and kiss you, press his lips against yours in a soft manner. subconsciously, he licked his lips as he stared at yours.

“jisung?” you waved your hand in front of his face, with a cheeky smile, “is anyone there?”

“huh? yeah- yeah! me- i’m here,” he stumbled over his words. his face heated up. why was he like this?! he hid his face in his hands when you giggled, face heating up.

“you’re adorable,”

jisung’s face to even hotter at your words, and he let out a whine, “shut up. you’re making me all,” he made a strangled noise, making you laugh — jisung could physically feel himself fall more in love with you at the sound. your laugh was lovely.

you were lovely.

his breath hitched when you cooed at his cuteness; this was too much for his fragile heart to handle, “stop it,” he whined. his whining didn’t do anything other than make you tease him even more.

when you had leaned back again after getting done teasing him, you ate the last few pieces of tteokbokki, while jisung checked his phone, “it’s getting late,”

using your sleeve to remove some sauce, you asked, “what time is it?”

“almost eight,”

“shit,” you muttered, getting up from the bench, “i have to get home. i’ll see you tomorrow, class pres,”

“why do you always call me class pres? you can just call me by my name...please,”

you smiled softly, rolling your eyes, “okay, han jisung. i’ll see you tomorrow,”

jisung watched you skate away with a pounding heart; you called him han! he let out a dreamy sigh, leaning back on the bench, hands over his face. he was happy, oh so happy — you had hung out! he, han jisung, hung out with you, his crush since forever! and if he had been reading the signs correctly, you liked being out with him. pride filled his chest; he had made you laugh a lot, and the sound was music to his ears.

“jisung!”

a deep familiar voice ripped jisung from his thoughts, “felix?”

felix sat down right next to jisung (almost on him, but jisung didn’t say anything), “what are you doing here? i thought you said you were going to the movies,”

jisung smiled at how cute his friend was — felix’s doe eyes on full display for him, “i did,”

“then why are you here?”

“i met (name),” jisung in took a sharp breath, as a bright smile grew on the youngers face, “we saw a movie together and went here afterwards,”

“that’s great, sung!”

“felix!” hyunjin called out when he finally saw his friend, “don’t run from me,” he huffed, sitting down beside to felix, “hey sung,”

jisung smiled at the taller, “hi,”

“jisung was with (name)!” felix told hyunjin excitedly, eyes sparkling.

“(name)? (name) (full name) (name)?”

jisung’s face got hot for the nth time that day, “yes,”

“dude! that’s great!”

“yeah,” jisung muttered, warmth filling his chest. it was great, really great.

four.

from (name) <3: come outside

from (name) <3: n wear long pants

from (name) <3: or don't,, that's up to you but we're gonna skate so u probably should

jisung rubbed his eyes with the ball his hands, before reading the texts again — you wanted to hang out with him again? after the fiasco that was your last time spending time together?

you had went home with a shirt drenched in coke because jisung dropped the bottle and then opened it right after, already forgotten he dropped it. he cringed at the memory.

panic was filled him. what should he do?! a light bulb went off over his head — kim seungmin. jisung’s fingers quickly tapped through his phone and found seungmin’s number, calling him. he bit his lower lip as he waiting impatiently for seungmin to pick up.

“what do you want?”seungmin sounded nothing less of annoyed as he answered his phone, rubbing his eyes to get rid of the sleep.

“(name) wants to hang out!”

“okay? and? what’s the problem?”

“what’s the pr- dude! i can’t!”

“then don’t,” seungmin was tired.

“no, i want to,”

“then do it,”

jisung groaned, “you’re not much help, you know,”

“don’t care, break a leg,” seungmin hung up the phone right after, leaving jisung moping. jisung moves the phone from his ear and looked at it in shock.

from (name) <3: hurry!!!!!!

shaking seungmin’s hang up off him, jisung hurriedly threw on clothes — hopefully they were clean — and ran to the bathroom to make himself look presentable. water ended up all over the counter when jisung wet his face, “sorry mom,” he muttered, cringing at all the water, before making a run for it to the front door, shouting a quick “bye” to anyone in the house.

the bright midday summer sun made everything bright, making jisung temporarily blind. when he could see again, he saw you resting on the sidewalk across from his home, rolling your skateboard with your shoe covered feet, eyes closed whilst you enjoyed the warmth of the sun. to jisung, the sight was ethereal — you were practically glowing.

“(name),” he called out when the sound of a bird tore him away from his thoughts.

“han! you came,” you smiled, standing up and did the few meters of skating to get to him.

“of course i came, you told me to,” he blushed, taking a step back at the closeness.

“oh?” you raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile finding its way onto your face, “you like being told what to do?”

is jisung was red before, he was sure was now; his face looking something like a brand new fire hydrant, “i-i don-don’t- what? no- no! i-“

“i’m kidding, han,” you grinned, watching him stammer — he was so cute, “let’s go,”

“uh, where are we going?”

grabbing his hand, you pulled him with you, your skateboard in hand, i’m gonna teach you how to skate,”

“what?- no, my- my balance is terrible,”

“i know; i’ve seen you trip over nothing multiple times,”

“you have?” jisung’s heart skipped a beat — you noticed him.

“of course i have, you’re quite popular, you know,”

“am i?” this was news to jisung.

“what do you mean “am i”!?” you stopped abruptly, making jisung bump into you, “you don’t know?”

“know what?” you were staring at him in awe, and jisung flustered to no end.

“you’re one of the most popular guys in our grade,”

a strangled noise came from the back of jisung’s throat in surprise and confusion. the sound made you laugh — oh, that heavenly sound jisung had become addicted to i just a few weeks.

“we’re here!”

jisung scanned the area; it was mostly empty, except from a few kids playing on the smaller ramps. this was good, it would save jisung from the embarrassment he was about to experience.

“it’s not that difficult,” you laughed, smile widening when jisung’s grip on your hands tightened, so he wouldn’t fall off, “relax your knees. you’re shaking,”

“stop making fun of me,” jisung said loudly, pouting while trying to balance on your skateboard. you were right, he was shaking. the muscles in his legs were

“i’m not!”

“you are!” he whined. this was a lot harder than you made it look like, and the fact that you were holding hands didn’t help in the slightest. jisung yelped loudly when the board disappeared from under him, landing flat on his butt.

“oh,” you gasped chuckling, walking over to help him up, “i told you to relax your knees,”

jisung grumbled, taking your hand and pulled himself up from the ground, “shut up, it hurt,” he rubbed the spot with a groan.

“sorry,” you said, still giggling, are you okay?”

while nodding, jisung couldn’t help but smile; you were so cute. he got onto the board when you asked if he wanted to try again, this time with relaxed knees. it went better, though he still didn’t dare to stand on his own, too afraid he would fall again.

after a few tries, he let go of your hands and stood on his own, arms out to each side, “i’m doing it!” he cheered, as your skateboard rolled on the concrete.

you laughed at his enthusiasm, “you are!”

jisung’s smile grew wider, while he slowly lowered his arms. he quickly found out that was a mistake, for before he knew it, the board disappeared under him and he landed on the ground, this time on his arm — he’s pretty sure he heard a crack.

the door opened, making you stand up. jisung walked out first, his mom following him closely. his arm was in a white cast; you winced. that was your fault, partly.

jisung’s mom ruffled his hair, said something to him, and gave you a smile when she walked out the front door to the hospital. he gave you a tight smile, while you approached him.

“you okay?”

“i mean,” he held up his casted arm with a small smile, “but yeah, i’m okay, it’s just my arm,”

“i’m sorry,” you apologized.

jisung furrowed his eyebrows, “for what?”

“i shouldn’t have let go of you,”

jisung could see how bad you felt — it made him sad, “i let go of you first, and besides,” he lifted his arm again, “i think it looks pretty cool,” a warm feeling spread in his chest when you smiled relieved.

“it does,” your eyes danced over his casted arm, “can i write something on it?”

“sure! wanna get out of here first, though?”

you nodded and left the building, jisung holding his casted arm.

a noise left you in distress when jisung tried to take a look at what you were writing, “don’t look!” you gripped the ink pencil harder.

jisung whined, “i wanna know what you’re writing,”

“and you will, when i’m done,” you huffed.

jisung sighed loudly and over dramatically, “fine,”

silence filled the air at the brick bridge you were sitting on, legs dangling over the water. a gentle breeze brushing up under yours and jisung’s clothes, giving both of you goosebumps. jisung’s eyes followed the running water as it ran under the bridge, while you were bend over, writing on jisung’s arm.

you leaned back up, “done!”

“i swear if you drew a dick-“

“i didn't,” you laughed, making him do the same. before his eyes could reach his cast, you covered it with your hand, “don’t read it yet,”

“why not?” jisung blinked.

“i don’t want to be here when you do,”

“why not?”

you raised an eyebrow, a smile tugging on your lips, “do you always repeat yourself?”

“not always,”

chuckling, you swung your legs over the bridge and jumped down, landing firmly on the pavement, “i’ll see you later, jisung,” you got onto your skateboard and rolled away in a slow speed, saluting to jisung when he call out a “get home safe” after you.

jisung did as you said and didn’t look until you were out of his sight. his own fingers were covering it, preventing him from getting an accidental peek at what you wrote. after you were out of his line of sight, he waited another five minutes, before removing his fingers.

“i like you a whole lot — we should date” with a heart beside it.

jisung’s breath hitched as his heart began pounding. he read the words you wrote over and over again, engraving them in his mind.

“i like you a whole lot — we should date”

he whispered the words to himself, tasting them. you liked him a whole lot and said you should date. the fear that this was a dream hit him, and he pinched the skin on his bicep with his uninjured hand, “ow,”

that hurt; this was not a dream. this was real life. holy shit. you wanted to date him! what the fuck?! you wanted to date him? jisung was a mess, a flustered mess as he sat alone on the brick bridge in the edge of town, legs hanging still over the water, a swarm of butterflies in his stomach.

five.

“just ask,”

“i can’t just ask,”

“yes, you can,” seungmin rolled his eyes and flicked jisung on the forehead, making said boy rub the spot and pout, “what’d you do that for?”

“you’re thinking too much,”

“am not,” the older mumbled, still rubbing the spot, soothing his pain.

“jisung, just ask,”

“what do i even say?! “hey, (name), i like you a lot, can i be your boyfriend?””

“yes,” seungmin said with a deadpan expression.

jisung blinked, “i can’t say that!” he whined, “that’s stupid,”

“you’re stupid,”

jisung’s gaze fell down to his casted arm. (“dude, when i said break a leg this isn’t what i meant,” seungmin had stressed after finding out about jisung’s broken arm.)

it had been three weeks since he broke it arm and had gotten it casted. it had also been three weeks since you told — wrote — jisung you liked him. it had been three weeks since jisung had talked to you. he didn’t mean to ignore you! actually, he had been wanting to talk to you during the time, but he had no idea what he would say, so he ended up not speaking with you at all. you probably thought he didn’t like you back and ignored you because he hated you or something. the thought of you being sad made him feel terrible, especially since it would be his fault.

jisung took in a sharp breath and walked into the classroom, seungmin behind him, rolling his eyes at how nervous jisung was. jisung had literally nothing to be nervous about — you had already confessed; jisung knew you liked him, why on earth was he still nervous? it made no sense in seungmin’s mind. if jisung just got it together and asked you out his problem would be solved.

seungmin dumped his backpack down onto the floor, as he sat in his seat. from where he was sat he had a clear view of both you and jisung, both of you looked sad, you more than him. seungmin shook his head; this was stupid, so utterly stupid.

class went by, but jisung weren’t paying attention in the slightest, his mind was filled with you — you and your sparkling eyes and pretty smile. he had sighed more than he could count during the lesson, attracting attention from almost everybody in the room, you included. when the bell rang, jisung didn’t move until seungmin came up behind him and nudged him on the shoulder.

“do it now,” seungmin vaguely pointed his head in your direction.

jisung bit his lip, “now?” he mumbled, looking at you while you were packing up your things. he sighed for the nth time when seungmin nodded sternly. he walked with slow steps, shoes never leaving the ground fully. when he stood in front of you he ran a hand through his hair, “(name), can i talk to you?”

yeji glared at him before you could do anything. you were sure she was going to throw hands if you didn’t stop her. putting a hand on her arm, you pulled her back, scolding her lightly, before turning to the male in front of you, “i guess,”

jisung licked his lips, feeling himself shrink under yeji’s glare, “alone, please,”

nodding, you nudged yeji on the arm, saying you’ll meet her in the cafeteria. she hesitated, but left with seungmin and the rest of the class. when all were gone, you spoke, “so...what do you wanna talk about?”

“i-” he in took a deep breath, “i’m sorry for ignoring you...especially after what you wrote,” subconsciously he put his hand over his cast, “i didn’t mean to, i just..i panicked,”

your face fell, a lump forming in your throat, “it’s fine if you don’t like me back, i would just prefer you didn’t ignore me,”

“i do like you,” the words fell from his lips before he could stop them. his face flushed red as what he said registered in his mind, “i do like you,” he repeated in a smaller voice, “that’s why i panicked. it’s- i’ve liked you for so long, and then you confess that you like me, and it was just a lot to take in,”

a smile grew on your face as he talked — rambled. he was so cute.

“and i’m sorry for ignoring you, really i am, and if you don’t mind i would like you take you on a date,” jisung looked at you for the first time since he started talking, and to say he was surprised by the smile you had on your pretty face, would be an understatement.

you stepped closer to him, not missing the way his breath hitched, “i would love to go on a date with you, han jisung,”you grinned, cupping his face, before connecting your lips, just as jisung’s mind went blank.

your lips felt like heaven, this was heaven, jisung concluded as his lips were pressed against yours, like he had imagined many times, only this was a million times better. jisung was sure he could spend forever and longer kissing you. warmth filled him as his lips moved with yours. when you pulled away jisung was in a daze, mind fill only with you, you, you.

you brushed some hair out of his face, leaving a last peak on his lips, “i’ll see you later, angel,” you smiled to him, slowly letting your fingers drift from his, before walking to your friends with a hot face.

jisung stood frozen in the same spot long after you left, only moving when seungmin and felix came into the room.

“did you do it?” felix asked eagerly, almost jumping in place.

jisung didn’t — couldn’t — respond, still caught up in the feeling of your lips on his.

seungmin snorted, “i think he did, and more,”

“they kissed me,” jisung muttered, his heart warming, “we kissed. i kissed (name),”

“nice done, sung,” seungmin complimented, smiling warmly as a grin broke out on jisung’s face.

jisung’s face flushed once again when he remembered what you called him, “they called me angel,”

672 notes · View notes

taehyungs-perm · 4 years

Text

strawberry girl pt 1

taehyung x reader; college au; childhood best friends to lovers au; jock!fratboy taehyung

genre: fluff; major angst lol

word count: 8k

summary: i can pretend i don’t miss you. i can pretend i don’t care. all i want to do is kiss you. what a shame you’re not here.

Part 2 here ; part 3 here; part 4 here; part 5

playlist vibes

better | khalid

electric love | børns

saturday nights | khalid

the less i know the better | tame impala

summertime sadness | lana del ray

“Hana, what the fuck are you doing?” You said to your roommate. You just had walked into your room and saw there was an enormous mountain of clothing blocking the entrance of the room door. Clutching the box containing your freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, you carefully maneuvered your way to your bed. You stared at your roommate as she stood in front of her mirror. It had been a long day and you just wanted to eat the cookies you made while watching a social justice documentary, your go to form of stress relief. She turned to you, revealing her exasperated face “Okay I studied literally all day today and basically ignored Jungkook and his billion texts because I was trying to focus and now he’s mad at me so I’m going over to his dorm to hang out. And I’m trying to figure out what to wear! Like should I wear a skirt or sweatpants or...?” She put the pink skirt she was holding up to her body down and picked up a comb from her desk. You bit into a cookie and stared at her trying to tame her curly black hair with a brush, “Aren’t you and jungkook just hooking up? Why are you going to comfort him if you aren’t in a relationship?” Hana immediately became defensive, crossing her arms over her chest “We are friends too okay! I can go and comfort him as friends ______.” You rolled your eyes and said sarcastically, “Sure Hana because that’s what friends do. Go over to each other’s rooms at midnight to ‘comfort’ each other” Waving the silver comb in her hand at you, Hana exclaimed, “Shut up! Support me and my stupid choices. I support your choice of being a prude” “Hey! I’m not a prude....” you said trailing off suddenly regretting calling out Hana on her behavior. “Yea ______ you’ve never even kissed a boy.” You gave your prepared answer about your lack of romantic life that you’ve been telling people since junior year of highschool “It’s cause I’m trying to focus on school and not get involved with anyone.” “Keep telling yourself that excuse. It’s perfectly normal to manage other things other than school work”, Hana said as she shoved her huge pile of clothing that was lying on the ground into her closet. You shut your biology book that was in front of you and stated, “Okay fine how about the excuse that all men are trash?” “I honestly believe that one 1000 times more” she held up a black skater skirt to herself and said “I’m just going to go with this” Hana quickly changed, grabbed her purse, and said “bye! I’ll see you...later?” You laughed and called after her “I’ll see you tomorrow. Make smart choices!”

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You woke up early to revise before your biology class at 9:30. After going through the Krebs cycle one last time, you quickly rushed to get ready pulling on a pair of loose jeans and a sweater. You slipped on your sneakers and rushed out the door making it just in time to be ten minutes early for biology class. You were clutching your notes mumbling through the processes “pyruvate becomes acetyl coenzyme A then...” Today is going to be a long day, you realized that there was so much more cellular respiration you still needed to learn. Should I bake brownies tonight or should I finish watching 13th? You were so absorbed in your notes and thoughts that you barely noticed someone calling your name. You looked up confused. You didn’t have too many friends on campus so you weren’t sure who could be calling your name. Then you noticed him. Fuck You felt your heart skip a beat why does this still happen even two years later? “______!” He came up to you smiling and waving. “Hey Taehyung “ you mumbled, annoyed that he was coming over to say hello. He looked so good, as always. He was wearing slacks with a sweater with a brown messenger bag to his side. He recently got his black hair permed and it looked so good. You wanted to rake your hands through his hair and feel the soft curls. You shook your head, no you're over him. You don’t like Kim Taehyung anymore “How’s it going? I haven’t seen you in awhile” He said with his huge boxy smile, adjusting his bag strap. You and Taehyung occasionally run into each other between classes and such but you guys never hung out. After what had happened in highschool, you realized you and Taehyung were in two different social groups and were destined to just be friends. He was a soccer player in a frat who wanted to have fun and you were a pre-med student focused on getting good grades so there really wasn’t much intersection in your two lives. “Um good ya know just heading to biology class.” You chuckled nervously, are you always this awkward or is it just Taehyung making you feel on edge? “Ah yes. Classic ______ always studying” “Yea well school is important. So um...” you were racking your brain trying to say something despite your mind going absolutely blank the second you saw his flawlessly sculpted face, “.....how is soccer going?” His eyes lit up, “It’s good! I’m training a lot so that takes up a lot of time. But everyone on the team is really nice, so it’s good.” “I’m glad.” You glanced at your phone desperate to get out of the terribly awkward conversation “Well I have to go class, but it was nice seeing you” you started to walk off in the direction of your class but Taehyung pulled you back towards him “Wait ______” “What?” You said an annoyed tone. You needed to get to class and Taehyung was just bothering you with small talk. He looked almost nervous. He gave a small smile and said “I was wondering if you wanted to do something this weekend.” You glanced around yourself just to make sure Taehyung was talking to you. “You want to do something with me? This weekend?” You asked, astonished. He glanced at the ground and then back at you. You noticed he was still holding your arm and he quickly dropped it. “Yea I want to hang out with you. Is that okay?” He said shoving his hands into his pockets. “Um yea. I guess. Just text me later” you said in a rushed tone, then trudged off to your class. Wow that was fucking weird. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Tae: hey! so are you free this saturday to do something?

Fuck I can’t believe he actually texted me. It had been 2 years since you’ve hung out with him. Why was he texting you now asking to spend time? You contemplated just saying no so you didn’t have to deal with Taehyung but you figured it might be more efficient to just hang out with him once so he could leave you alone.

You: yep that works. what do you have in mind? Tae: do you want to go into town? You: yea that sounds good. Tae: great i'll pick you up at 2 🍓 girl :)

You internally vomited at the nickname. You didn’t want to hang out with Taehyung. You were perfectly fine being friends/borderline acquaintances with Taehyung. You threw your phone on your bed and groaned loudly. At that moment your roommate entered the room and said “Wow hello to you too.” “I hate my life,” you exclaimed dramatically as you shoved your face into your fluffy white pillow. “That’s a mood. But what happened?” she said laughing and sitting on her bed across from you. “Uh so like, have I mentioned I’m kinda friends with Taehyung?” You said peeking out of your pillow. Hana squealed “Shut up! You’re friends with the Kim Taehyung?” “Uh kinda. We grew up together and like we were best friends but then like we drifted apart. We are just okay friends now,” You said as nonchalantly as you could. Hana stretched out onto her bed and turned her head to you “Wow you never told me that. I can’t believe you knew Kim Taehyung” You pulled the pillow under your arms so you could lay on it “Yea so I ran into him today and he asked to hangout this weekend and he just texted me to confirm plans and I feel like throwing up.” Hana raised her eyebrow “What? Why? This is great news. I’m with Jungkook and now you can be with Taehyung! It’s perfect omg” You threw your fluffy pillow at Hana, hoping it would knock some sense into her, “First of all you are hooking up Jungkook. He’s not your boyfriend. Second of all, I’m not ever going to date Kim Taehyung.” She caught the pillow before it could hit her face, “Eww. As if I would ever date Jungkook” she laughed and tossed the pillow back to you, “But that’s honestly a smart move. Taehyung has got a lot of baggage.” You looked up at your roommate confused, “What are you talking about?” “Uh Taehyung is kinda the biggest fuckboi on campus. We’ve only been freshmen for like 4 months and he’s fucked almost like half of campus. Your jaw dropped. You didn’t know Taehyung was a fuckboi. Granted you really didn’t know anything that wasn’t school related but like Taehyung? Your Taehyung? The one with the innocent doe eyes and giggly smile? “No fucking way. You’re lying” “Honey, Jungkook is his best friend. I know.” You stared at your pillow. Well Taehyung was a really handsome guy. What else could you expect? You luckily didn’t feel heart broken Not that your heart could be broken any further. “Well good for him. I guess. As long as he isn’t being an asshole and manipulating girls and their feelings just so he can fuck them.” “You can ask him this weekend on your dateee” Hana said teasingly. “It’s definitely not a date. I’m sure he just wants something” you said rolling your eyes as you got up and grabbed your baking basket. “Where are you going?” Hana questioned. “I need to make some strawberry cupcakes” you stated as you grabbed some strawberries from your fridge. Strawberry desserts were your comfort food. “Damn this thing with Taehyung has you real pressed” she said laughing. “You have no idea,” you mumbled underneath your breath as you left your room. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was 1:27 in the afternoon and you had already stress ate 4 strawberry cupcakes since last night. You didn’t know what “I’ll pick you up at 2” meant. Did it mean he was going to wait outside your dorm building? Did it mean he was coming to your room? Did he even know your room number? You were going to grab another cupcake when you realized you should probably change out of your pajamas.

You took a look in the mirror and you sighed. You unconsciously adjusted the gold necklace that you wore everyday and scanned your outfit: light blue jeans and a black baggy shirt. Why do I even care what I’m wearing? It’s not like it’s anyone special, it's just Taehyung. But the voice at the back of your head kept nagging the hard to swallow truth that you in fact do care. Your thoughts were interrupted by a loud ding from your phone.

Tae: I’m outside your dorm! You: ok coming out

You grabbed your coat and were about to leave your room before a thought popped in your head. You walked outside and found Taehyung standing by the entrance of your dorm building, scrolling on his phone. Taehyung was wearing a simple black shirt tucked into black jeans with a long gray coat. With his beautiful curly hair and black sunglasses, he looked like a movie star. You wanted to sprint back inside your dorm and hide because you truly did not want to be seen in public with him. He looked up from his phone and gave a genuine smile “Hey!” “Hey Taehyung.” You stood awkwardly distanced from him. “Um I was kinda stressed last night and I ended up baking cupcakes. I knew you used to love my strawberry desserts so I brought one for you” you handed a cupcake wrapped in a napkin to him. “Are you being for real? You made me a strawberry cupcake? Oh my gosh, you’re the best” he pulled you into a giant hug. Not really liking physical affection, you pushed against his chest to try to pull away. He let go of you and grinned broadly “This made my day. I’m so happy now” “Are you ever not?” You mumbled so he couldn’t hear. The local town was only about a 10 minute walk so you were hoping this whole outing with Taehyung would only last an hour or so. “So why were you stressed?” Taehyung said unwrapping his cupcake. You couldn’t tell him that he was causing your stress because to be honest, you didn’t even know why his sudden presence in your life was causing you this much anxiety. “Oh just school stuff.” You always gave superficial answers to those types of questions. Your automatic assumption is that people don’t really care about what you’re going through; they’re just asking out of courtesy. He gave you a suspicious look as if he didn’t believe you but he didn’t press further. You and Taehyung quietly chatted about school, classes and soccer until you reached the quaint local town. Taehyung was talking about his frat and how they were having a themed party in anticipation for their huge game. You were half paying attention to what he was saying when you saw a table covered in books in front of one of the shops. You immediately stopped and glanced at all the books on the table. You used to read a lot before school became a priority in your life, then you picked up baking as your stress reliever. But with this cute little bookstore right in front of you, you started to recall all the fond memories you had as a child and you couldn’t resist. “Let’s go in here,” you said, smiling at Taehyung. He looked at you really weirdly for a second, like he was shocked or something. “Or not,” you said, mumbling, starting to walk away from the store. “No no let’s go in. Sorry if I looked kinda surprised. It’s just” he scratched the back of his head and gave a small laugh “Every time we’ve talked you never smile. And you just did. And it was super cute” a small blushed bloomed his cheeks. He quickly added “I definitely want to go in the bookstore.” The sudden compliment by Taehyung made you want to crawl in a hole. Okay, first of all I’m sure I’ve smiled in front of him....at some point.. You nodded and entered the store with him behind you. You began to browse through books and felt Taehyung hovering behind you. “Umm....so where are the....interesting books” Taehyung whispered behind you as he took off his sunglasses. “Interesting books?” You said turning to look at him “Ya know like Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, that sorta thing.” “Taehyung...you’re 19.” “Yea I know but...” “Tell me you’ve read a book since we were in middle school.” “You know, life is busy. Sometimes, we ju-“ “Okay Taehyung.” You said rolling your eyes. You continued to browse until you picked out a few books that caught your eye. Taehyung was trailing behind you the entire time like a lost puppy. It was kinda annoying but also super endearing. You purchased your books and Taehyung said “I remember you were always reading when we were kids. And you used to read to me when we go have picnics in the park! Remember?” You smiled, thinking back to those days. Most of your memories of reading did include Taehyung. Him forcing you to sit and read your favorite passage of the book you were currently reading. “Yea, I remember.” You said “I also remember you being a dumbass then just like how you are now.” Taehyung laughed “Yea I was a dumbass. But at least I started reading actual books because of you.” You two continued to walk while you explained your book purchases to him. “Wow” Taehyung said “those books sound super....enlightening” he smiled at his vocab choice. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Yea I’m excited to read them. I’ve actually been meaning to read The New Jim Crow for a while now so I’m probably going to start once I get back to my dorm.” You noticed Taehyung was staring at a shop across the street. It looked almost like an antique store. “Do you wanna go in there?” You said asking carefully He nodded hesitantly. You entered the store with Taehyung and his eyes lit up. “Wow look at this camera!” He said. There was a large vintage camera placed on the front display. It seemed like one of those Polaroid types. He picked it up carefully and analyzed it. You had almost forgotten. Taehyung used to love photography and art. When you were children, Taehyung had many disposable cameras and he was constantly taking pictures of the scenery, of his friends, and you. Even though you hated getting your photo taken, Taehyung would always secretly take pictures of you and show them to you once they were developed. You always ended up loving his photos of you the most. You hadn’t realized that Taehyung had started wandering around the store. You found him standing in front of a large painting. “It’s a modern rendition of Van Gogh's Starry Night” he told you. The painting had a cityscape with the iconic starry night swirls in the background. As you went with Taehyung around the store, he gave factoids about almost all the paintings there. I didn’t realize he was still interested in art . Taehyung ended up purchasing the vintage camera in front display along with the film for it. When you exited the store, Taehyung exhaled deeply. “I miss photography,” he said solemnly. “I stopped during high school, when I started dating Yeji.” You internally winced at the sound of her name. “I want to start again,” Taehyung said. “That’ll be good. You’ll have to show me your photos once you get developed,” you said with a small smile. It got quiet for a moment and you felt a question pressing your mind that you needed to ask Taehyung. “Why did you ask me to hang out?” You said bluntly. He smiled, “Why? I can’t ask a friend to hang out?” “No, but we haven’t hung out in a long time,” You said quietly. “It feels a bit random.” Taehyung stopped walking, “You’re right. It is a bit random and I haven’t really talked to you in a long time.” He paused, pondering for a moment, then continued, “I’m really homesick. College is hard. Being away from home is really hard, harder than I ever expected. And you remind me of home.” He scoffed at his own words “Actually, you are my home. Whenever I see you walking on campus, I feel...a sense of comfort, ya know? You’re someone who knows me, like actually knows me, Taehyung, not Kim Taehyung, the soccer player, or whatever people are labeling me.” You were shocked at his words. You truly had no idea that Taehyung was homesick. He seemed so normal and perfectly happy, like all the time. It was kinda nauseating. But he had put up a front the whole time. “Oh. I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling that way” wow that sounds so fake. You were so bad at consoling people that you weren’t close to. “But If you ever need to talk to someone, I’m always here Tae.” He gave you a smile “You used to call me Tae all the time. You only called me Taehyung when you were mad at me.” That was true. You didn’t realize he had picked up on it. “Well I must have called you Taehyung a lot” you said teasingly. “Only when I would pair us up for a school project” he said with a wink. You and Taehyung started heading back home and Taehyung started asking more about yourself. You gave short, one word answers, not really going in depth about anything. You hated talking about yourself and your feelings with people who you knew didn’t actually care. Taehyung seemed to get frustrated and he said “okay, why aren’t you telling me anything? I talked to you about myself. I know your life isn’t just school. I know you have feelings that aren’t ‘I’m stressed about grades’. Why are you shutting me out?” You sighed and said “Yea well I shut everyone out. Don’t take it personally. It’s just easier.” You realized that was probably really cold, but you were getting exhausted with his questions. Taehyung doesn’t really care about me. Or my feelings. He’s just a fuckboi who just wants any girl’s attention. You were walking at a faster pace so you were ahead of him and didn’t have to see his disheartened expression. He pulled your arm so you had to face him “Hey. I don’t know why you’re acting like this but I guess I have to make this abundantly clear: I’m your friend so I care about your well being. I’m sorry for not trying in our friendship but that’s in the past. I’m trying now and isn't that worth something?” You stared at him. His eyes were big and pleading. God he looks so cute. You immediately felt bad for being rude to him, “Yea, I do appreciate it. But like this is just a one time thing right? You were feeling sad and we hung out. That’s it.” “No ______, I miss our friendship,” he said in a genuine tone. You recoiled at the word friendship. Because that’s all you’ll ever be to Taehyung, a friend. “I don’t want this to be a one time thing. I want us to be in each other’s lives. Like before,” he said. You took a deep breath. It was simple. You could be friends with him. You just need to keep a clear mind and remember that you and Taehyung are not destined for anything more. “Yea. Me too,” you said, giving him a small smile. “Great! I’m so excited! This means you can come this weekend then right?” He said with his huge boxy smile. “What’s this weekend?” “______ were you not paying attention? I told you, this weekend BTS is having a party remember? At our frat house?” There was no way in hell you would ever step foot into an STI infested death trap Taehyung called a frat house. In fact the notion of you going to a frat party was so insane that you started to cackle. You doubled over in a fit of laughter. Taehyung just stared at you in confusion. “Uh what’s so funny?” he said, chuckling nervously. “If you think I would ever go to a frat party, then you’re crazy,” you said, still laughing. “What? Why wouldn’t you come?” “Taehyung, do I look like a person to go to your soccer frat? Plus I won’t know anyone there and it’ll be just so awkward.” “Well...no...but like why does that matter? I’m inviting you. I want you to be there! I promise I’ll be with you the whole time. Please!” He said. God he’s making those stupid doe eyes again. Taehyung was such a weakness for you. You would do anything to see his idiotic smile. “Ugh fine. But I’m literally going to say hi to you and then dipping,” you said crossing your arms over your chest. “That’s fine! As long as you come!” He said excitedly. His phone buzzed and he glanced at it, “Fuck I got soccer practice in like 20 minutes. I gotta go. But I’ll see you around!” Taehyung started to sprint off and you were just about to turn around before he called to you, ”By the way, the theme is catholic school so I expect to see you dress up.” What the shit is a catholic school theme?

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You had begun spending more time with Taehyung without even meaning to and things were almost how they used to be. Except for the fact that you needed to keep reminding yourself that Taehyung was a fuckboi. But you found it becoming harder to stop dreaming about “what if”. “Where did you get cake from?” You whined as Taehyung came over holding a paper plate with a large slice of chocolate cake with strawberries on top. He was wearing his practice uniform still. You were sitting on the picnic table tops near the soccer field, revising your psychology notes. You didn’t have time to stress bake this week and you felt your mouth watering at the sight of chocolate cake. He took a large bite and said “Scoot over. I wanna sit next to you” “Not until you tell me where you got that cake from,” you said scooting over because you really didn’t want him hovering over you. He smiled as he sat on the bench next to you and winked “A secret.” “You’re so fucking annoying.” You punched his arm. His nose scrunched up in pain and he rubbed the spot where you punched him “Ow! Some girl gave it to me in exchange for taking a picture of my abs.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, “Wow you really sold your body for cake.” Taehyung took another large bite of cake, “It was worth it and I would definitely do it again” “Of course you would. You and your singular brain cell can’t really make high functioning decisions.” He set the cake on the table and ran his fingers through his hair, “Hurtful.” Then he looked you dead in the eyes and said with a smirk “But maybe you’re just jealous.” You knew what he was trying to imply (and maybe you were a bit jealous because apparently Taehyung just goes around showing his abs) but you would never give him that satisfaction, “I’m jealous that you have a piece of cake and I don’t.” He raised his eyebrow and leaned his face close to yours, “Yea right. I think you’re just jealous that she got to see my abs.” “Okay Taehyung.” You said rolling your eyes. You began to pack up your stuff, closing your textbook and putting away your pencils. Once Taehyung started getting flirty and cocky you knew it was time to leave. He grabbed your arm as you tried to shove your notebooks into your bag “I was jokinggg. ________ don’t leave me alone,” Taehyung said with a pout. God how does he look cute even when he’s being a pain in the ass. You pulled your arm from his grasp and said “Give me those strawberries and I’ll stay.” He plucked off a strawberry from the cake with his fingers and said “Say ah.” You were not going to let Taehyung feed you a strawberry that was too fucking weird. You tried to grab his wrist and take the strawberry from his hand with your own. “Just give it to me, I'm capable of eating by myself,” you said aggressively. He pushed your hands away and shoved his fingers close to your mouth, “Shut up and open your mouth” This was so humiliating but Taehyung loved to push your buttons and you knew you wouldn’t win this one. You opened your mouth and he put the strawberry in. Your eyes connected with his for a second and you quickly looked away, “This is good. Definitely worth selling your dignity.” He smirked “I know right!” He looked at your mouth and said, “You got some chocolate on your face. Here lemme get it.” Before you could process what he was saying, he swiped his thumb on the corner of your mouth. The feeling of his hand on your face warmed your cheeks immediately. Well fuck. “Oh shit look at the time I have to go,” you said, motioning to your wrist that clearly did not have a watch. You quickly walked away so he couldn’t see the blush blooming over your entire face. Literally he didn’t even do anything. Why the fuck do you have to get worked up about the smallest things? You were just about to make your escape from Taehyung before he shouted out across the entire quad, “Hey __________! I better see you there on Saturday!” Oh my god why did he do that? Everyone is staring at me now. You gave him a thumbs up and walked into the nearest building. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Hana I don’t actually have to go. Tae probably invites so many girls to these frat parties,” you groaned as you spun around on your swivel chair. “Oh so it’s Tae now? No more Taehyung?” Hana said with a smirk. You rolled your eyes, “Shut up, I used to call him that before, it’s just an old habit” Hana put her hands on your shoulders to get you to stop spinning and said in a reassuring tone, “Honey, I’m sure Taehyung does invite other girls. But those other girls just want to get into his pants. You’re just a ‘friend’ as you claim.” “I am just a friend! I just don’t know why I have to go if he’s going to be busy with other people,” You said, leaning your head back on the chair. Hana said pleaded, “Just go this one time and then if you absolutely hate it you don’t ever have to go again.” Tired of arguing, you said, “Ugh fine.” Hana clapped her hands together, “Oh my gosh finally! I didn’t think that would actually work. Okay so now what are you going to wear?” She began to rifle through her closet. You stared at her as she began to throw clothes onto the ground, “He said the theme was catholic school. Whatever the fuck that means.” Hana said “It means short skirts and button downs,”, gesturing to her own outfit. Hana was wearing a blue and red plaid schoolgirl skirt with a knotted white button down, revealing her midriff. The thought of wearing anything revealing made you feel nauseous, “Yea I think I would rather set myself on fire than do that.” You stared at Hana. She was so pretty and her kind personality only further highlighted that. You were jealous of the girls who would wear makeup not because they felt pressure by society but because they were confident enough in themselves to do so. You were jealous of the girls who felt comfortable in their own skin and didn’t want to hide from the world. Your insecurities controlled your life. It was the reason why you wore clothes 3 times your size. It was the reason why you didn’t bother to put on makeup because you knew you would just notice all your flaws more. You could not help but think that every person that looks at you only saw the things you hated about yourself. It was the reason why you fully and truly believed no one could ever love you back. Because we choose to accept the love we think we deserve (taken from Perks of Being a Wallflower author's note). While you were roaming your thoughts, you realized Hana was taking out outfits for you. “You could wear this,” she said holding up a polo dress, “or this” holding up a short navy skirt “Hana, those are cute but it’s a catholic themed party right? So I think I’ll just stick to the original concept,” you said with a smile, standing up from your chair. You went to your closet and started to rummage through. Hana immediately became worried, “______ no no no no. I know what you’re thinking and this is not a time for your rebellious acts. You can still be a feminist while showing off your body” “I never said you couldn’t do that but I truly do not give a fuck about what anyone thinks of me so,” you said as you rummaged through your own closet and pulled out a long navy skirt you owned “I’ll just wear this” pulled out a white sweater “and this.” Hana smacked her palm against her forehead and groaned, “Ugh at least it’s cute.” -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hana, do we really have to go?” You turned to her as you approached the frat house. Loud music was blasting and you could hear the chatter of people from down the street. You could feel the anxiety building up in your chest. You really didn’t want to be hanging out with Taehyung if it meant dealing with girls who were just trying to climb on his dick. “Yes! This is good for you. You need to socialize and not worry about school for a little bit.” She said pushing you up the street. You were amazed at her determination, dragging you up to a party on an uphill street while wearing black stilettos. “It’s not fair how I’ve been trying to get you to go to a party all year and you never went but once Kim Taehyung swings his dick in front of you, suddenly you show up.” she grumbled. “Literally, shut up. I’m only going so his dumbass can leave me alone. I really could care less about his feelings or his dick,” you said staring at your dirty white sneakers. “Rightttt” Hana said in an unconvincing tone. She pulled you up to the frat house door and pushed you inside. You walked into the house with Hana right behind you. You looked around and you felt immediately out of place. Firstly, you were definitely the only one who went with the original intent of the concept “catholic school”. Secondly, there were way too many people grinding on each other. You immediately turned to Hana and said excitedly “let’s leave!” She turned you back in the direction of the party and held onto your shoulders, “No no no I dragged you all the way here in my fucking stilletos so you are not leaving without saying hi to Taehyung.” Crossing your arms, “Fine, but we have to find that idiot first” You scoped around the party and saw him. Of course he’s surrounded by a crowd of obnoxiously pretty girls. You accidentally locked eyes with him and he waved at you. You didn’t expect much else so you were about to turn around to Hana and tell her you were leaving but she looked at you and said “Oh hey. There’s Taehyung, he’s coming over here.” You quickly said, “I’m sure he’s coming over to talk to someone else here so let’s just go.” But before you could turn to the door you heard his overly friendly voice shout “Hey ______!” Shit “Hey Taehyung,” you said, turning to him. Fuck, he looked good. He was wearing white collared shirt with black slacks. He had on a red and blue tie that had become loose which just only amplified the hotness of his outfit. He put his arm around your shoulder and said “You look cute. Love the outfit.” His close presence made you uneasy. You could smell his cologne; you didn’t really know what the scent was exactly but it definitely smelled really good and distinctly like Taehyung. You already felt super out of place and you weren’t in the mood for Taehyung's teasing so you said in an aggressive tone, “You don’t need to be mean. I get it. I’m dressed like an actual nun” “No ______ I’m being serious. I think you really do look cute” “Oh,” you felt a blush creeping onto your cheeks ”Thanks I guess.” Wanting to get the attention away from yourself, you quickly gestured to your friend, “This is my roommate Hana.” Taehyung's eyes widen in realization, “Ah I’ve seen her around the frat house before with Jungkookie.” Hana chuckled nervously and brushed her hair behind her ear, “Ah yea I’ve been here a bit.” She didn’t really like talking too much about her relationship with Jungkook so changing the topic, Hana said, “I had no idea you and _______ knew each other.” You interjected before Taehyung could say something stupid, “Yea, we used to be best friends.” Taehyung looked at you and in his fake hurt tone, he said “Used to be? We still are best friends.” You realized he was definitely tipsy because he was acting quite childish now, more so than his normal amount. One of his friends, Jimin you think, came over and whispered something to Taehyung. You took this opportunity to duck away from his embrace. You turned to Hana but she was looking at something with her nose scrunched up, obviously disgusted by something. You follow her eyeline and see that she’s staring at Jungkook who is dancing with some girl. “Ugh fuck Jungkook,” you say. You suspected that your friend has caught feelings for Jungkook but you know that with her stubborn personality she would never admit it. “What?” She realized you saw her staring at Jungkook. “oh that? Whatever. Jungkook can do whatever he wants. It's not like we are exclusive.” Hana said, whipping her head away from Jungkook and the girl. Then she smiled at Jimin with an evil glint in her eye and you knew that she got some idea in her head. Hana said in her sweetest voice possible “Hey Jimin.” Jimin immediately broke from his conversation with Taehyung, flashing his beautiful smile at her, “Hey Hana! I haven’t seen you in a bit.” “Oh you know classes have been a bit overwhelming lately. I’d really like to take my mind off all the stress,” she said twirling her hair around her finger. “Oh I see, well I think dancing with me would definitely take your mind off of school” Jimin said cockily, extending his hand out to Hana. “I would love that,” she said, grabbing his hand. Jimin pulled Hana away from you and toward the crowd of people dancing. How the fuck did Hana do that so easily? She literally got Jimin's attention just by saying hello. You were left standing with Taehyung alone. “I know you didn’t want to be here but I’m so glad you came,” he said but you could barely hear his voice over the blasting music. “Sorry I can't really hear what you’re saying. The music is too loud.” You were trying to motion out the words for Taehyung and he nodded understanding the message. He extended his hand out to you and you glanced at it uneasily. He gave you a serious stare and grabbed your hand, leading you through the crowd. The large sea of people surrounding you made you feel really uneasy, so unconsciously you gripped his hand harder. He smirked at you but you stared at the ground not trying to give him the satisfaction. You realized he was leading you up the stairs. He kept on holding your hand and led you to the third door on the left. He quietly pushed open the door and you entered the room behind him. Um why did he bring me into his room? What does he want from me? You started to feel nauseous. Does Taehyung think you’re a girl who just wants to fuck? Your feelings were so confused and you definitely didn’t want to do anything with Taehyung in his room that he probably brought girls over to every weekend. He noticed your troubled expression and said, “Hey. I brought you here because I wanted to talk somewhere quiet. No other reason.” he said in a calm voice. The bubble of anxiety in your chest dispersed. But being his stupid self he winked at you and said, “I mean unless you want to.” “Shut the fuck up. You’re such a headass,” you said, shaking your head. You looked around his room and his room was nicely decorated, a lot more modern and minimalist than you thought a college student was capable of designing. You noticed a photo frame hung up and immediately smiled. “That’s my favorite birthday gift. I had to bring it,” Taehyung said standing behind you. It was a framed photograph taken by Taehyung's favorite photographer, Ante Badzim. You gave it to him on his 16th birthday, before everything changed. “Downstairs, I was saying I was glad you came tonight,” he said as he sat down on the edge of bed. “Yea I mean I said I would come. For you, only” you said sitting next to him. “That’s why you’re my best friend.” He said giving you a hug. Drunk Tae is way more affectionate than regular Tae. You laughed pushing him away, “For sure, Taehyung. It’s not because you annoyed me into coming.” Taehyung laid down on the bed with his legs dangling on the edge. With the moonlight streaming onto his face, you felt like you could see him clearly for the first time. His curly hair, his double eyelid on his right eye, the little mole on his nose. He looked tired. You laid on his bed next to him taking in the first moment of peacefulness of the night. The room was a comfortable quiet. He broke the silence with a whisper “Why did we stop being friends?” You knew exactly what he was talking about but in a poor attempt to escape the question you scoffed uncomfortably, “What are you talking about? We’ve always been friends” He turned his head to you but you kept your head straight ahead focused the little cracks on the ceiling above you. He said with a bit more confidence “No, I mean we used to be best friends but then we stopped. We were just friends. We didn’t talk as much and we barely hung out.” You were quiet. A million thoughts running through your head. What were you supposed to do? Tell him the truth? Oh yea so like I kinda was in love with you when we were juniors in highschool and I thought you maybe felt the same but when I finally picked up the courage to tell you the very same evening you called me telling me that you asked out another girl and that you totally liked her. Then you ended up dating that girl for the entirety of junior and senior year and because seeing you two together every day for two years broke me and pained my heart that I just had to basically cut you out of my life.

Yeah, right. Like you could ever face up to the reality of your feelings and tell them to another live human being.

You whispered into silence with a choked out, “I don’t know.” You turned your head facing him, “I’m sorry that happened but sometimes people fall apart.” He looked at you with his big brown doe eyes, “I just want to know if it was something I did so I can never do it again. This past week I realized how much I needed you in my life and if I did something for us to lose two years of friendship, I want to never do it again.” Your heart trembled at his earnest words. You knew he meant it. He truly didn’t know what happened. And that’s exactly why you can’t fall for him again. He doesn’t even know what he does to you, what he does to your feelings. Taehyungs words didn’t help. You could feel your will slipping but you pushed the thought aside. You stared back into the darkness of his eyes, “You didn’t do anything Taehyung. Plus like you said, what happened is in the past and what matters is now.” “You’re right. I just missed you so much” he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck. “Your hair smells so good,” he whispered. What the fuck. Taehyung must be so drunk. This was getting way too intimate for your comfort. “Let’s go downstairs Taehyung.” You pushed his arms from your shoulders and sat up. He got up and looked at you, “You better not leave as soon as we go down.” “No promises,” you said chuckled, as you walked out his door. You noticed some people were staring at you but you shrugged it off. It must because of your completely out of place outfit. Taehyung was behind you still so you turned to him and said, “I’m going to go to the kitchen and get some water.” “I’ll be on the couch,” Taehyung said as he walked away. You nodded at him, went to the kitchen, and opened the fridge. You were attempting to find a bottle of water in the fridge because you stupidly forgot your own at your dorm. When you closed the fridge door, there was a girl waiting behind it. You assumed she was trying to get to the fridge so you tried to duck out of her way but she called your name, “______ right?” “Um yea.” You were thoroughly confused as to how this girl knew your name. You didn’t get a good look at her until she said your name. She was very pretty with light brown hair cascading down her shoulder. She gave a cold smile and said “My name is Jennie, but you probably knew that” Jennie. That sounded familiar but you couldn’t remember where you heard her name before. “Yea I just wanted to know um what's your deal with Taehyung? I saw you go up into his room with him.“ Shit, that probably looked really bad. You felt your cheeks redden at the innuendo. “Yea but like nothing happened. Tae and I are just friends.” “Yea I know that. As if he would ever hook up with anyone like you.” Her tone was icy and insulting. Then suddenly you remembered where you heard her name. Before you came to the party tonight Hana was telling you all of the tea about the BTS frat. Hana told you that even though none of the BTS guys, except for Namjoon, had significant others, they still had people they regularly hooked up with. For Jungkook, it was Hana (but you were pretty sure they had gone exclusive without even meaning to). For Taehyung, it was Jennie. You knew that her comment was surface level, but it still stung a little. “Yea I know that. But that’s why we are just friends,” you said shrugging your shoulders. “I’m just saying, even as ‘friends’ don’t get your hopes up. Taehyung breaks a lot of girls' hearts without even meaning to.” Her insulting tone changed to one of almost concern. As if she was looking out for you. “Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it. But I know Taehyung and I don’t think I can fall for him.” you said, not believing your own words. She smiled and this time it felt real. “Ok good. I’ll see you around,” she said and then stalked away. The anxiety in your heart didn’t go away but when you took a deep breath the air seemed lighter. You headed back to the couch where Taehyung was waiting for you. Suddenly as you came to a realization of what was in front of you, you felt your heart almost drop before you caught yourself and scoffed. Boys are so fucking oblivious. Of course, you left Taehyung for 5 minutes alone and he already had a girl on his lap, practically eating his face. She pulled his face closer to his and you watched as he cupped her cheek. Even though you mostly felt like you didnt care, your heart felt heavy in your chest as she curled her hands through his permed hair, something you've daydreamed about. You only came to this party for Taehyung and now he seemed preoccupied. Alright it’s time to leave. You checked your phone. 12:37. If I leave now, I could binge a couple episodes of Parks and Rec. Just as you were about to turn around and leave, somehow Taehyung noticed you from the corner of his eye. He pulled his face away from the girl on his lap and called to you, “Hey ______. Are you leaving already?” Why the fuck does he care? He has a girl grinding on his dick right now. Why can’t he just leave me alone? “Uh yea I came here to hang out with you but you seem...a bit busy... so I’ll head out now,” you said with a light chuckle. The girl on his lap glared at you, mad that you took his attention away from her. She started kissing his neck aggressively. “Wait if you still want to hang out, we can!” Taehyung exclaimed, trying to shift away from the girl on him. Why the fuck does he want to hang out with me? This girl is obviously trying to get in his pants. You felt self conscious with the girl staring daggers at you while Taehyung was trying to talk to you. “No no I’m tired anyways I’ll see you...later I guess” you said waving him off. “______ wait!” He called But you already left. Seeing Taehyung make out with some random, really pretty girl, kind of ruined your mood and also the girl on his lap who looked like she wanted to tear your hair out didn’t help your interest in staying longer. When you got back to the dorm, you glanced at your phone. Tae: hey did you make it back to ur room okay? You: yep Tae: sorry if I made things awkward You: it wasn’t awkward. Idc what u do tae. Tae: oh ok. You stared at your ceiling and chuckled to yourself. You almost for a second thought Taehyung was different. But he wasn’t. He was just like every other headass boy on this planet. At least you caught yourself before he cracked through your guard. You couldn’t fall for him. Not again. Your phone buzzed and you checked the text you got. Tae: wanna get waffles tomorrow morning? You scoffed loudly. He fucks one girl and then wants to get breakfast with another. Boys are so clueless. You were thinking of what excuse to text him, but then he sent another text. Tae: ik ur thinking of some excuse to say no so if you say yes ill pay. Damn he knew you. You: fine Tae: bet. See you tomorrow 🍓 girl You inhaled a deep breath and whispered to yourself you don’t like Kim Taehyung. You don’t like him. You can’t like him again. But somehow the words you said were disconnected from the confused feelings in your heart. The familiar knot in your heart should have been the red flag to make you realize that you were fucked.

author’s note: theres a line in here that is not mine “we accept the love we think we deserve” it is taken from perks of being a wallflower. also, the summary was adapted from billie eilish’s bitches broken hearts. btw the books and movies i reference in here are some of my favs! lmk if ur enjoying the fic so far!

tags: @fleurmoon @tangledsparkles @chocolatebelievercrusade

#bts fanfic #bts #bts fanfiction #bts x reader #kim taehyung #tae #taehyung #taehyung hot #taehyung x reader #taehyung fanfic #taehyung scenarios #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #strawberry girl

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