#the absolute russian roulette that this shit is.....

[spideysatan]

oh boy im feeling like some sadness and overall lack of confidence are about to hit haRD.

[poisonedapples]

Horrifying Husk concept I can’t stop thinking about:

The most popular headcanon is that Husk committed suicide (which I really hope is true because I need that angst). And considering Husk is very obviously and horrifically depressed, while also growing up in a time where mental health awareness was Not a thing, I bet he was suicidal way before the attempt that actually ended him. Especially considering all his self-destructive behaviors.

Husk is also a gambling man. Who, in death, had no problem gambling with souls.

So imagine: What if Husk used to play Russian Roulette during his life? And what if he had won multiple times?

[etchedstars]

a very dangerous game called listening to music i know will rip my heart out in the car

[hellborg]

no....

[mothboiwrites]

i want qpr hades and persephone. i believe it’ll make everyone happy and i’m so incredibly smart which makes me right.

just imagine, bored persephone, knowing she isn’t meant to be a fertility goddess but not wanting to leave her mother behind because she loves her. meanwhile hades feels a connection towards her because she has death queen vibes and also seems super cool. this feeling is intensified by eros however, acting on his mother’s behalf since hades’s is out of her reach. he doesn’t think too much about it and is like “ah yes, these feelings are love. after all my brothers said it was bound to happen eventually.” then he goes and asks zeus’s permission to marry her, takes his advice to just yoink her, and is now left with an angry, sad goddess and no concrete plan on what to do from there.

meanwhile demeter is hella pissed and wants to know where her daughter is. apollo is like “oh her, yea she got Got.” demeter immediately takes it up with zeus. he shrugs her off. she falls further in to grief even as helios and hectate try to comfort her. finally she decides to go to hang with the people where she pretends to be an old woman and gets a job as a nanny/nurse made to help with empty-nesting pains. she tries making the baby immortal to spare him and his parents her grief but they panic since she’s literally tossing the baby in a fire. that was the last straw needed for her to just go on strike and start killing people.

back to the duo, hades has managed to explained that they are now married and she is now queen of the underworld along side him and has the same authority as him. this was mildly challenging since persephone is fucking feral and immediately tries mauling him. she does pause at the mention of being queen of the underworld. its a chance she’ll never get again and she isn’t going to let it slide just because the circumstances are… complicated. after threatening him a bit to make sure he’s being honest, she stops trying to rip his face off and agrees as long as he doesn’t push his boundaries. hades, uncomfortable with the idea of forcing her and wanting to be patient, agrees to her terms and they awkwardly navigate marriage. slowly they find out hades doesn’t particularly feel romantic love towards her and is just appreciative of her companionship and feels a connection with her due to her death queen vibes. persephone decides she like hades for his fair, respectful, and mildly awkward personality and not just for the status he has brought her. they do bonding shit idk. she grows to appreciate her title as hades’s wife just as much as her title as queen of the underworld. still, her new found power does little to heal the longing for her mother in her heart.

finally after months, demeter’s plan has come to fruition. little by little the growth has dying and humans have being stuck in an never ending famine that only gets worse as the world grows colder and colder. zeus finally cracks and sends hermes to bring persephone back home. demeter smiles to herself and prepares for her daughter’s return.

hermes tells the two the news and persephone is overjoyed to see her mother again, laughing at the news of her mother forcing zeus to listen. hades fondly watches but can’t get rid of the lingering feelings of insecurity that persephone won’t return ever since he and the underworld mean little to her when compared with her mother. the bight before she is meant to leave he brings a pomegranate, a wedding tradition. she looks at him knowingly as he rambles about it until he breaks down and tries to explain his insecurities without having to explain them. she pieces together what he’s saying, hugs him, and eats some of the seeds, promising to come back. he promises that he’ll the best husband he can and that she’ll have all the respect she deserves as queen from but mortal and god.

finally demeter and persephone are reunited. their reunion is joyful and lively. persephone excitedly tells her mother everything that happened, assuring her she is just as much as kore, her daughter as she is persephone, bringer of death and queen of the underworld. demeter grimaces but accepts her daughter’s marriages and freedom. still, she can help but to fall back into her depression as the days pass without persephone by her side, cause fall and eventually winter.

and boom main plot.

side plots include:

• persephone making good on hades promises to make sure she’s properly respected by crushing plant minthe under her heel

• persephone helping hades calm cerberus down after heracles beats him

• hades and persephone fucking with theseus and pirithous

• persephone and hades just generally messing around as platonic spouse rulers of a land of the dead

[infiniteglitterfall]

know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!

hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.

I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.

It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.

Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.

It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.

(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."

Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.

Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.

People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.

(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.

I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.

She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.

And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.

He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.

He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.

I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.

But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.

It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.

(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)

(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.

We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.

People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.

Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.

3,000,000.

Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.

Five times as many.

That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:

Here's a non-paywalled link to it:

https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates

Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:

Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.

You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.

They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)

[eevees-hobbies]

His Lucky Charm - NSFW (Fem!Reader x Haruka Sakura)

Author’s Note: Down bad for Haruka Sakura. As always, I appreciate likes, comments and reblogs. Requests/thirsts are open.

Synopsis: Sakura considers you his lucky charm that contributes to his winning fight record. How does it work? Well, he has to fuck you, duh!

Content Warning: All smut. Cum eating, reader receives oral, premature ejaculation, fingering, submissive Sakura, then dominant Sakura, teasing, shit-talking. Minors Do Not Interact.

Word Count: 1.8K

Divider by Saradika. Story banner by me.

“I’m going to beat someone’s ass today.”

To anyone else, those seven words dripping in confidence and lethal aggression would sound like a declaration of war. But to you, someone who knows your boyfriend—Haruka Sakura—you know those words are intended for you. 

He’s giving you a message. A pattern has developed between you two. Sakura has a fixed, unyielding mindset that if he has a fight that day, he needs to have you split open on his cock prior to the battle to guarantee victory. Because, simply put, you are his good luck charm.

Is it backed by science? Absolutely not. Does he believe it to his core? Bet your fucking ass he does.

So it doesn’t come to you as a surprise that you’re now in a position where you’re poised on your king-sized bed, staring up at the ceiling, legs spread with Sakura’s mouth making out with your cum-filled pussy.

“Mmm, eat up baby.” You purposefully clench your walls, forcing Sakura’s cum to flow out of you and into his open mouth.

“You’re a fucking pervert,” he sneers. Without missing a beat, his tongue darts out to catch the residual leakage, savoring the saltiness of his cum and the sweetness of your pussy. You can only see the top of his head from your vantage, but you can hear the whine in his voice as he laps at you hungrily. 

“What’d ya say, my little cum eater?” You tease, earning a quick bite to your inner thigh from Sakura.

He sits up and wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand, “let me put it back in. I won’t cum too fast this time, swear,” he states, trying his best to hide the way his voice fractures, a clear indication of his desire to have you again. 

Truth be told, Sakura is really good at fucking. He’s athletic, flexible, nimble with his fingers, and is capable of bouncing you on his dick until you can’t form a coherent thought in your pretty little head.

The keyword here is capable.

Sakura’s one flaw is that he has no control over when he ejaculates. Some sessions feel like they’ve gone on for hours, while others are over as soon as he pushes the tip of his cock in. He can’t help that your cunt feels like it’s actively deepthroating him and how entering you often sends him reeling and coating the entrance of your messy pussy with his seed. Every time he fucks you, you’re playing some lewd version of Russian Roulette. Will he or won’t he?

A Few Moments Ago

Sakura had tapped the head of his fat dick against your swollen clit, watching as your wetness formed droplets on the smooth head of his cock. He couldn’t help but drool at the way your cute little clit twitched for him as if beckoning him to abuse it more. 

You, however, were squirming beneath him, his inadvertent teasing feeling like your own personal hell. “Sakura, hurry up!” 

Your attempt at sounding commanding landed on deaf ears–he’s too far gone with the only thought on his mind: coating his dick with your thick cream so he can win his fight today. As he slid into you, you barely had enough time to adjust and savor his girth before he let out a hitched gasp. 

You witnessed what was happening as it played out on his face before you felt “it.”

“It,” being his dick spasming pathetically, an untimely victim to your slick, tight walls.

Sakura knew it, too. His neck, face, and ears were a bright red, and his mouth was opening and closing as if he wanted to say something, but the premature orgasm that was being ripped from his body didn’t allow him the privilege to do so.

A slippery warmth suddenly slid down your thighs, and your eyes widened, “Sakura, don’t tell me that you just fucking came.”

“Um, I can get it back up. Give me a second.” He reached his hand down in between you both and pulled back so he was stroking his softening dick in his hands, gazing at your body with such intensity that it made your walls involuntarily clench.

But fuck this. Fuck that. It was cute the first twenty times. Now you’re feeling less than merciful after experiencing being cruelly edged into what feels like insanity.

“The least you can do is clean it up.”

Sakura’s hand stops pumping, and his eyes dash over to your exposed pussy, which is now leaking his cum onto the bedsheets. “Y-you want me to eat you out with my…’stuff’ running out of you?”

The audacity.

“Sakura,” you enunciate his name as though you’re giving him a warning. You’re thankful that he doesn’t call your bluff because he positions himself between your thighs and begins to get to work like the dutiful boy he is.

Now

“Sakura, get back to work,” you growl and shift so that he has a clear view of your waiting sex. He grumbles but dives back in.

You can’t help but bite your bottom lip. For all the things that Sakura is, he’s an excellent—and messy—eater. The way he spits a glob of spit on your pussy, swirling it around with his tongue and pushing it into you to add to your already oversaturated hole, makes your head float. 

“Mmm, fuck, you taste so fuckin’ good, baby.”

He slips his middle finger in you, and you take it with ease, having already been temporarily stretched out by his cock. As he curls his finger against your g-spot, an area that he’s proud to have found on his own, he presses an open-mouthed kiss against your clit, then another, and another.

The inside of your thighs contract almost painfully, the sensation of his mouth allowing you to get closer to that orgasm that escaped you moments before, fuck, you’re so fucking close, god, here it fucking comes-

Until Sakura abruptly pulls away, leaving the absence of his finger and mouth very apparent.

“I’m hard again. Let me fuck you,” he whines as he palms his dick which is now dripping globules of precum on your leg. If you weren’t so horny, you’d be flattered.

As you contemplate how many years a murder charge would get you and if orgasm denial is a reasonable enough defense, Sakura lets out a frustrated growl and flips you onto your stomach.

Yeah, murder is lookin’ pretty good right about now.

You feel Sakura press his body against yours, his cock dragging heavily against the top of your ass and down the expanse of it. You give him a little twerk, smacking the fat of it against the underside of his cock.

Sakura growls and slides his dick back into you slower and with far more care than you anticipated, either because he’s attempting to avoid a repeat of his little incident from earlier or because he’s savoring the feeling of entering you. 

It makes no difference to you as you feel your senses overload from just being in such close proximity to him. Everywhere his skin touches you, you feel the charge of electricity. Where his fingers brush against the fat of your thighs, goose bumps soon follow. Fuck, even the smell of the tangy sex of your two bodies mixing intoxicates you.

God, this man. 

His mouth is pressed so close to your neck that the heat of his breath tickles the shell of your ear. “Fuuuuck, why do you feel like you were meant for me?”

His words relax your body, softening muscles you hadn’t known were rigid, “that’s because I am meant for you, Haruka.”

Your words ring in his ears like a sermon he didn’t know he needed, a mantra delivered off the tip of your tongue that drives him wild. Your words give him the unspoken go-ahead to hold your wrists behind your back and piston his hips forward, ramming into you so hard that you’re being forced forward, causing the bedsheets to rub against your nipples in a way that makes you shudder.

“Shit, every time I fuck you, I win a fight. This pussy’s that fuckin’ good.” The Sakura who had accidently cum inside of you was long gone, replaced by this confident and sex-possessed man.

And god, does it feel so good to finally have your cervix abused by him.

“You gonna’ cum on this dick, baby? Help me win my fight?”

Words aren’t coming quickly to you–a consequence of him slamming into you so hard that your body is shifting upwards and making it difficult to catch your breath, but you give him your best hum of approval.

You can feel his fingers squeeze your wrists so harshly that you’re confident that they’re going to leave delicious indentations and maybe even bruises for you to wear like a badge of honor over the next few days.

“Haruka,” you whimper, “I’m not going to last much longer.”

He sputters out a half laugh-half moan, “Shit, ain’t that funny.” You can’t see it, but you can feel the cocky grin he has on his face as he delivers a hard smack to your ass. The way you clench around his dick makes Sakura’s leg shake. 

“You liked that?” He palms your ass roughly, jiggling it against his hand and making it bounce.

At this point, you don’t know what’s more shameful: the fact that your pre-ejaculation-prone boyfriend is giving you a run for your money or that he’s now giving you shit. Either way, the switch in his attitude from being so pathetically pussy-hungry that he was licking up his cum to now restraining you and pounding into your cervix is a pleasant and pleasurable mindfuck.

Oh shit.

At that moment, Sakura finds the spot in you that makes you rasp out his name. You can barely concentrate on all the sounds that he’s pulling out of you, but the distinct sound of splashing makes your cheeks hot, the mixture of his cum, saliva, and your fluids splashing out and coating Sakura’s pubic hair and thighs.

“F-fucking cum already,” he growls in your ear. You then realize that this is a competition for him. He’s holding back his orgasm not out of consideration but simply out of spite. And if you hadn’t already had so many orgasms stolen from you, you might have been able to play his game and give him a run for his money.

Wishful thinking as you bite the bedsheets, stealing the satisfaction he’d gain from hearing the earsplitting moan that erupts from your lungs as, finally, your cunt grips and squeezes at his cock.

Sakura lets out a chuckle—because he fucking won—that is quickly replaced by his loud whine as his inhumanly large load floods into you. Several minutes pass before either of you can move—heavy breathing and residual groans fill the room.

Finally, Sakura dismounts you, but not before delivering a smack to your ass triumphantly.

Asshole

“I gotta go, but thanks for the extra mojo, babe.”

You close your eyes, completely spent, and whisper, “have fun winning your fight,” before drifting off to sleep.

[georgiapeach30513]

Kinktober 2023, Day 2

Just Pull The Trigger

Summary: Steve was obsessed. He came into our flower shop weekly. Changing that to daily quickly. Bucky watches. Neither of you were making your move, and it sickened him. it was time for him to intervene.

Pairings: Steve Rogers X Reader

Rating: explicit

Warnings:  explicit language, explicit sexual content, kidnapping, guns, unprotected sex, PIV sex, breeding kink, creampie, voyeurism, mind control, Russian roulette, conspiracy, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 2.3K

Previous

Series Masterlist

“Hey,” you hear your employee, Hilary’s, voice going up an octave, and that only means one thing. You peek your head around the corner, and there he is. He was the most handsome man you had ever laid your eyes on.

Tall, broad shoulders, there is this manliness that makes you weak in the knees. But his best feature was his smile. Steve had been coming into the flower shop way too regularly recently. Hilary loved mentioning it was your “assets” that kept him coming. But you told yourself it was mostly likely a girlfriend that loved flowers.

“What do you have fresh for today?” He asks, bashfully looking down at your counter.

“Well, we’ve got a wide range of tulips today,” his soft blue eyes look up at you, and you look quickly at the counter.

“What…what’s your favorite color of tulip?” He lifts his hand up to the counter, and you audibly whimper.

Bucky purses his lips as he focuses on the two of you. Every day. Every fucking day it was this song and dance. He’d ask you for fresh flowers. There was an awkward exchange about colors, and you always bite your lips, and make a noise. Your fingers always make the same tapping pattern. And yet you two bozos weren’t picking up on how badly you wanted to sink into one another.

If the two of you ever did have sex you would probably both have a heart attack from the build up. You two were tragic. He couldn’t sit by watching this idly happen. You seemed sweet enough. Owned a damn flower shop. You are perfect for Steve, but for whatever reason the two of you were dropping the ball!

Bucky didn’t understand. Couldn’t comprehend how his best friend just couldn’t ask you on a date. Judging by the nervous ticks you got when Steve was around, you were just as nervous, and wanted it just as much.

The ticks and the odd breathing annoyed Bucky, but Steve loved them. Wouldn’t shut up about them. Searching your name didn’t have any information either. You had to be just awkward, and untrusting. Your eyes look at Bucky nervously, and he turns around.

Bucky had to do something. He couldn’t go another day watching this pathetic encounter. He would help both of you out. It’s what friends are for. Even if it's extreme.

——

Your eyes jolt open, and you tug at your extended arms that are tied above your head to no avail. Lip trembling as you look around in this dark and damp place. Breathe. Slow down. What was the last thing you remember?

Bedtime. A noise. Grab the gun. Blackness. Someone was faster than you. Someone was quiet, and got to you. Someone had no idea what you were capable of, and still was able to get one over on you.

“Fuck,” you sigh. Not again. You swore this would never happen again. You assured yourself that you would not be in this position ever again. And now you’re trapped. Tied up. And had absolutely no idea where you are.

This is a bunch of horse shit. Look around. There was always a way out. They always made a mistake, and they allowed you an escape. You killed your ex, so you know he wasn’t out for revenge. But what were the odds of you being held captive again? Strung up and ready to devour.

Your eyes adjust to the darkness, and you give your arms a tug. Idiot. Whatever asshole tied you up didn’t know what the hell he was doing. Loose enough to wiggle one hand out. Clenching your teeth, you slowly, and painfully pull out one hand, and set to work on the other.

Heaving and crying once you’re free. Your hands weren’t pretty, but no one would ever hold you captive again. Finally looking around your whereabouts. You’d get to that breathing lump on the floor shortly. A way out was first.

Seeing a flight of stairs, you climb up it, and want to curse. This was why he didn’t care about how he tied you up. Soundproof. Automatic locks. But you are loose now. You wonder if there’s a camera watching you to know.

And then your hand finds something that could be of use. Stuffing it in your back pocket, you wander over to the lump. It was gigantic. This could be your captor, or it could be of use. You had a secret that the lump didn’t know about.

Hesitantly you give it a little kick, and the groan has you leaning over, and trying to locate his beautiful face. You obsessively knew that voice anywhere, “Steve? Steve, wake up!”

“Rosie?” He seethes as he sits up, looking around the dark room. “Rosie, are you bleeding?”

“Yeah, my name isn’t really Rosie though,” he wasn’t tied up. He was just thrown in here. Probably because he was too big.

“What? Wait, what is your name?” You give him your real name, and he leans back away from you. “What is going on?”

“My ex — he was…he was a bad man. Held me captive in a place very similar to this. I was able to get free because — well, I killed him. He had some powerful friends that wanted someone to pay. And…I moved, changed my name, my profession. And…”

“What was your profession?” Steve’s eyes flit back and forth over your face. You had wanted to leave that life alone. Be done with that life forever. It was done, and you couldn’t go back. But somehow they found you.

“I was a hired hit man for the cartel. Ugh,” you sit down with a sigh. “This time, they’re smarter. And I just wanted to live a normal life, ya know? Bring some good into the world. And this amazing guy walked into my life, but I was too in my own head to get his number or even have a one night stand.”

“And…who,” Steve looks down at his lap, trying to find the words to say, but he is coming up short. You had been thinking of someone else. He knew he should have just asked. Should have been honest, and now the chance was gone.

“You, you idiot,” no wonder he didn’t act on anything. He had no clue. You wore your cute clothes, and undid the buttons to show off your chest. He made you sweat and nervous. How did he not not?

“What?” His voice squeaks a sigh while he looks at you. Eyes wide in disbelief. “You want to have sex with me?”

“Among other things. I got this romantic idea that we’d go on a date. But then every time you came in with your veiny hands on the counter, I had to tap things because I seriously wanted to jerk you on the counter, and crawl on top of you.”

His eyes narrow as he looks you up and down. Bucky was right. You did have filthy little fantasies rolling around in your head about him. What Bucky was wrong about was how dangerous you really could be. Neither of them saw that coming. “You’re being very open.”

“I get horny when I have no control of a situation. It’s this weird thing. We’re stuck in a basement with a great door, and I am in your lap, and your cock is so fucking hard. And you’re telling me I’m being open? Your dick is telling on you.”

“And what are you going to do about it?” His brow arches up, and you look back at the door. “I think we have time. Do you think you could think clearer if you fucked me? Would you have all this nervous energy then?”

You aren’t sure where the shy Steve had gone, and you didn’t care. It was probably just because he feels like this was the end of the line for him. It wouldn’t be. You’d get both of you out of this mess, but a little fun never hurt anyone. You’d just keep your secret close by.

“This will have to be quick. We gotta find a way out,” you pull off your shirt, and Steve gawks at your bare chest. “Steve, undress. We don’t have time for sweet,” you pull your tits out of your bra, tucking the material under their swells before wiggling out of your jeans.

He scrambles to get himself undressed, nearly falling as he stands to get his pants down, “Leave the underwear on. We can run like that.”

“You act like you’ve…” you shoot him an angry glance over him. “Right. I’m sorry, you have done this before. Oh good lord,” he moans. You push at his chest, wanting him to sit down before straddling his legs.

Moving aside your panties as you lower yourself over him. “Ahh,” he whimpers when your hand circles the base of his cock, running it through your slick. You sick fuck. Why did fear always get you aroused? You’d missed this danger and excitement.

Stopping your movements, you hold him steady as you slowly sink over him. Going cross eyed at the stretch, and wanting to curse this situation for not being able to take your time. Going far too fast to feel him divide your walls. He sits frozen when you take every inch of his glorious cock. Whining when you take him balls deep.

Having to slap him a tiny bit, “Steve, breathe, baby. Are you a virgin?”

“Mhmm,” he manages to get out, shaking his head with his response. “I-I-I-I wanted this for so long.”

“You could have had it,” your voice whines as you lift yourself off him. Dropping back down quickly so you can feel the tight pound into you. “You could have had this every night,” repeating the process, but this time faster. “Every day. Whenever you wanted. The shop is a cover.”

“Yeah,” he is in a trance. Didn’t care about a damn thing you had to say. “Yeah. Always. Always. Mine. Mine.”

You lean your head back, getting into the rhythm as your body swallows him whole. It was natural. Like you were made for Steve. Nothing could ever compare to this feeling. A familiarity to it. “Just like that,” he growls on you, but you are oblivious.

“Take it all,” you are. Taking all of it. “Fill you up,” he is filling you up so well. Perfect. Amazing. Glorious. “Breed you for the cause.”

“Yeah. Yeah! Fuck yeah!” You scream out as you race for your finish.

“Just like you were made to do!”

“Fuuuck!” You scream out, and Steve’s hand circles around your throat. A rush of endorphins and euphoria moves to every bone.

“Well, that took long enough,” your eyes burst open. Silvery blue eyes in the shadow make you want to retreat. “Hail Hydra and all. Stevie, don’t let her move, Captain.”

“You son of a bitch! I killed you!”

“No, you shot me. Hydra heeled me. Now, beg your soldier to fuck you,” you hated him. Flashes of memories of all the people you had killed move through your mind, and you slap your hand on your head. “They’re not going anywhere, sweetheart. You’re Hydra, too. They just had more use for you than just a cumdump. We gotta let that cum marinate, and then it’s my turn. We’re not letting you go until you’re swollen with one of us. Get used to being used.”

This is cruel. Steve felt so good, and you didn’t even recognize him without his muzzle. How could you forget those eyes? Still connected, and leaking his cum, but you had a secret. The soldier was an idiot.

“But I know something you don’t know,” you tease the soldier a bit. It’s a shame he’s as beautiful as he is. Because he is cruel, and you hated being their breeding bunny.

“Oh?” Bucky smiles, looking at your tits more than you. His eyes return back to yours, and you gently reach over to your pants. Thankfully kept this from Steve, too. “What do you know?”

Grabbing up the pistol, you point it at Steve’s head, and he drops his hand from around your neck. Holding up his hands in surrender as you remove himself from you. Whimpering at the loss of him. Ignoring his seed that was seeping out on your leg.

Moving the gun between the two of them as you back away. “You’re still forgetting something yourself, Viper. Who dies?” The soldier kicks Steve’s pants towards him, keeping his soulless eyes on you.

Both men start stalking towards you. Who? Who dies? Who to choose. You take a breath, and take it deep. Calm yourself. It was an easy choice. They give you an evil grin.

“One,” you whisper. Sweat beads along your hairline. Moving slowly towards the stairs.

“Two,” you shouldn’t have any time to think. There was only one option.

“Three,” it was your turn. You wouldn’t be held captive again. You turn the gun to your own head. Pulling the trigger.

Click.

They can see your heart beating through your chest, as you sink to your knees. “Did you really think we’d be dumb enough to leave a loaded gun for you to get,” your lip trembles as the soldier gets right in your face. “Welcome home, honey.”

“Soldier, tie her up. Give her a chance to realize how amazing she is. She was willing to die. Now she’s reborn. It won’t take much for her brain to get scrambled again," Steve chuckles from behind Bucky. And so the cycle begins again.

It didn’t work. It never did. But you would escape. And you would run. One of these times they wouldn’t catch back up to you.

One day.

Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @sstan-hoe @missusbarnes-rogers @peaches1958 @seitmai @smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @cjand10 @midnightramyeoncravings @kmc1989 @floral-recs @buckybarnesisdaddy @magnificentsaladllama

[txttletale]

The "calling police is inherently immoral" takes feel… maybe a bit US-centric? All countries have structural issues with police that come as the result of the conflict of interests between individual people and the interest of the bourgie state, but not every country's police force is a highly-militarized, highly-armed trigger-happy murder force comprised of wannabe bullies the way the US's seems to be. Some do clear that very low bar. Hell, there are tons of countries where regular police officers aren't even armed.

In my life I've called the police twice over student parties past midnight so loud you could hear them two streets away, and once over someone's dog being trapped/forgotten in the trunk of car, distressed and barking continuously.

Even in a world after police abolition, the above kind of policing will continue to need to happen. Some people are dicks, and some situations need intervention. A shitton of civil law, not criminal law, exists for a very good reason and still requires some form of police to enforce. I like to think I have a pretty hopeful view of humanity, but the reason people in my country have stopped smoking indoors, and don't leave their trash in random places, and don't piss in the middle of the street, is that all of those things are illegal and can result in police being called and getting you fined. There is absolutely no way people en masse would obey those "don't be a dick" laws without that stick hanging over them.

In a country where police are so fucked up that calling them over a minor disturbance is likely to get people killed, yeah, I would probably not call the police and just suck it up and mourn the fact that the supposed justice system has become completely unusable for its intended purpose. But not all countries are like that.

(To be clear: I don't agree with calling police over someone doing drugs.)

even in countries where the police are not just outright death squads putting young people, especially young people of colour or working class young people, into a situation where they suddenly have to interact with the police is just not a cool thing to do. you've correctly identified that the role of the police is to repress the working class, no matter whether they're the white supermacist paramilitary groups of the US or the less militarized and better at PR police forces of Europe. like. the police in the UK are also 'not as bad' as the police in the US and yet they still do all kinds of horrendous racist violent shit and kill people. even the darling of democratic socialism norway, famous for its humane prison and policing system, actually still experiences police brutality, because no matter how 'professional' and disarmed the police force is its role is to enforce bourgeois property rights through violence. the idea that there is an 'intended purpose' to the justice is just buying into the police's hype.

& hey by the way you know who leaves their trash in the street and pisses there? homeless people. people who have nowhere else to put their trash or piss. the idea that the police are the only thing keeping society from descending into 'chaos' (i.e. visible signs of poverty and homelessness existing) is genuinely deeply reactionary. it's thin blue line shit. sure, it's cool that calling the police in your country isn't playing russian roulette with someone else's life but if you think that the police aren't 'a murder force' or 'comprised of wannabe bullies' wherever you live then i think you should probably look harder and pay more attention because there are almost certainly anti-police activists there who can tell you otherwise!

[rinsoap]

˚ ༘ ♡⋆｡˚ ﾐ the big inarizaki three's favourite artists!

✿²˖ ࣪ ➣ includes : suna rintaro, osamu miya + atsumu miya

note : THIS HAS BEEN IN MY BRAIN SINCE DAY ONEEE SUNA, OSAMU, IWAIZUMI, MATTSUN, KYOTANI AND SEMI R ALL TYLER STANS LITERZLLY FIGHT ME!!!!

suna rintaro :

!!? ok this man has 100% turned every single one of his friends onto tyler the creator. he likes to say he “discovered” him as if he didn’t have like 300 million streams at the time ?? and tbh he didn’t even discover him iwaizumi put him on 😭😭 but he’s a little liar so 🙅🏼‍♀️ but at least he has good music taste!!!!

his favourite songs by tyler the creator are :

- ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? on the IGOR album.

- FUCKING YOUNG / PERFECT on the cherry bomb album.

- WILSHIRE on the CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST album.

!!? he will NEVER admit it but he LOVES red velvet 😭😭 he is a kpop stan till he dies and he is RIDDEN with guilt. osamu will be making fun of koreaboos (as he should) and suna will be slowly shrinking into his shirt as he starts yelling about how dumb kpop is. he truly would rather die than admit he knows every single lyric to sunny side up!

his favourite songs by red velvet are :

- BYE BYE on the reve festival 2022 birthday EP.

- russian roulette on the russian roulette: third mini album.

- BAMBOLEO on the reve festival 2022 feel the rhythm EP.

——✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : give you the world by steve lacy. 505 by arctic monkeys. IMPURITIES by le sserafim. yes i’m changing by tame impala.

osamu miya :

!!? he is obsessed with cigarettes after sex! it is truly insane how it is one of the only bands that genuinely makes him cry. like he will be listening to K. with atsumu in the car and atsumu would be groaning like “dude stop with this sad shit its killing the vibe” as a single tear rolls down osamu’s cheek 😭

his favourite songs by cigarettes after sex are :

- john wayne on the cigarettes after sex album.

- affection (single).

- heavenly on the cry album.

!!? OK MAYBEE THIS IS AN UNPOPULAR OPINON but this man is 100% a shameful swiftie. he doesn't know why but he literally will not tell anybody he loves taylor swift like it is his guilty pleasure and for what ???? he loved her in her red era too, he is LOYAL he's been a fan since 2012 dude !!!!

his favourite songs by taylor swift are :

- the very first night [from the vault] on the red (taylor's version) album.

- august from the folklore album.

- i think he knows on the lover album.

——✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : lovers rock by tv girl. pretty boy by the neighbourhood. apple cider by beabadoobee. SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK by joji.

atsumu miya :

!!? his favourite is chase atlantic because he's a fucking prick LMAO he is a chase atlantic MENACE he plays it everywhere any occasion and frequently LIES ab it??? he'll be like "i'm kind of a fan on the dl you know not that big of a deal haha the music is good but its whatever" and then squeal everytime he sees a tiktok of a concert 😭

his favourite songs by chase atlantic are :

- drugs & money (new mix) on the chase atlantic album.

- HEAVEN AND BACK on the PHASES album.

- goosebumps chase atlantic remix (unreleased)

!!? he will never tell anyone how badly he fucks with olivia rodrigo like he is convinced she wrote SOUR for HIM. he will lock himself in his room, walk to the corner of his room before sliding down the wall in absolute shambles as he screams all of the lyrics blasting through his poor headphones. osamu literally hates olivia for this exact reason he cannot listen to her anymore.

his favourite songs by olivia rodrigo are :

deja vu on the SOUR album.

all i want on the high school musical: the musical: the series soundtrack.

happier on the SOUR album.

——✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : borderline by tame impala. beef flomix by flo milli. heartless by the weeknd. want u back by cher lloyd.

[himorleys]

hello new mutual~ what’s your favourite sherlock adaptation? (or rank multiples if that’s easier) ^_^

hello, hello!

i've read several of the original conan doyle stories & love them because they're entertaining & set a precedent for hundreds of mystery/thriller stories that followed, but also because i get loads of glee from seeing how other adaptations either embrace the characters beautifully and faithfully or just lean into full-on character assassination, it's like a holmesian version of russian roulette.

ANYWAYS - bbc's adaptation has plagued my thoughts for years now & is not showing any signs of stopping, which is probably what makes it my favorite. i have many complex thoughts on the writing, the characterization and the media/fanbase reception (for as much as people like to shit on bbc's adaptation, it was one of the most popular shows of the 2010s for a reason & still consistently appears in television rankings, but i digress) and of course, the queerness of all of it. mostly i just adore the fact that the writers essentially made one big modern au fanfic out of stories that are over a century old. absolutely wild levels of hyperfixation, there. a fic writer's dream in terms of the plotholes and off-screen characterization during the later series, too. i will both criticize and defend it until the end of time, and it's one of my favorite tv shows in general, tbh.

as for the others, i've watched a few more adaptations (rdj, granada, elementary; never got too far into the latter, felt too "americanized", but i only watched about three episodes so perhaps i'll give it another shot). enola holmes was fun as well.

i'm working on getting around to sherlock & co., have had it recommended to me by several friends who've only said good things :)

[omiiomiaaus]

Toji’s music taste

headcanons

Headcanons on what songs or music i think toji would like but it’s really just what i like bc i’m lazy and don’t wanna look up new songs.

warnings: none??? some mentions of sex but no details, not proofread, literally none??

☆ Just gotta say one thing… this man was in his prime life in the 2000s…. He was listening to songs that are older than me 🥸

☆ okay Megumi canonically listens to weezer so i think he got some of his music taste from Toji. (i think almost everyone that develops a liking for rock gets it from childhood roadtrips with their dad)

☆ Toji only plays his music in the car.. he can’t stand the radio. …100% played buddy holly and meg picked up on it

☆ it’s mostly alternative and rock with the occasional hip/hop songs but he doesn’t really like new music, he’s an oldie after all

☆ he definitely listens to Coldplay oh my god i think that would probably be one of his favorite bands bc their songs are soft and helps him fall asleep (literally me)

☆ his favorite coldplay song is clocks bc he’s a little basic but it’s the most classic song like??

☆ he taps to the beat of any song on the steering wheel and only mouths the lyrics bc he doesn’t like his singing voice.

☆Toji and deftones >>>>>>> he definitely went to their concerts (his favorite songs are birthmark and rosemary)

☆ Is the type to act surprised when a good song comes on and put the volume on blast while saying “Oh shit” even though it’s his own playlists

☆ his gym playlist consists of heavy metal or rock songs that get him in the mood to use all his strength. (and some phonk songs bc he likes to pretend he’s in a movie but he’d never admit that.) so a lot of Metallica, Type O negative, Pantera, and Slipknot

☆ I GET MAJOR TOJI VIBES WHEN I LISTEN TO ‘I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU’ BY THREE DAYS GRACE!!!!!!!

☆ as for hip/hop he likes in da club by 50 cent and and without me by Eminem. those real 2000s vibe songs. none of the new stuff. He actually really does like Eminem.

☆ like??? 3am by Eminem just sounds like him… real villain shit

☆ he also really likes outcast. so fresh so clean is his songgggg. He holds his fist up like a fake mic and says “don’t you think i’m so sexy i’m just so fresh so clean” then holds it up to your lips for you to say “so fresh and so clean clean” and he won’t move his hand until you say it. also quotes “the coolest motherfuckers on the planet” randomly.

☆ he prefers r&b songs for his sex playlist. slow and sensual songs. and one joke song that he plays Russian roulette with when he presses shuffle. It absolutely kills your mood but he laughs his ass off when you’re in the middle of fucking and all of a sudden the speakers are blaring “you get the limo out front… hottest styles, every shoe, every color.”

☆ This mf got a Hanna Montana song from your nostalgia playlist and thought it would be funny to include in the sex playlist…

☆ Okay Toji is the type of guy to not play music in the shower bc he’s a psycho and just takes 3 minute showers (we all know he doesn’t wanna rack up that water bill) BUT when he does.. it’s a quick playlist filled with songs he doesn’t really like so he can hurry up and get out.

☆ Okay the songs I feel like he’d actually listen to are way different than songs for the vibes he gives off…

☆ He gives off major ‘she knows’ vibes by Ne-Yo, and it’s because of that one edit on tiktok… lord bless those editors for taking two second clips of Toji and making it something so scrumptious

☆ ‘monster’ by lady Gaga is another vibe bc “he ate my heart” that part reminds me of him for some reason… he can eat more than just my heart :)))))))

☆ also ‘lights down low’ by maejor and ‘no hands’ by waka flocka.. literally frat boy vibes but its so fanon him right???

☆ any phonk song reminds me of him because tell me he wouldn’t listen to that shit just to get in the zone????

☆ the lost soul down (specifically the sped up version) is just so himmmmmm <33… again it’s probably because of all the edits but still!!

☆ shine dreams (also the sped up version) idk who it’s by there’s so many versions lol but just any song like that >>>

☆ I also think of him when I listen to ‘level7’ by OSAKA… idk something about it…

That’s all I have for now :)

[noonaishere]

Music of the Heart [J.YH] - seventy-eight | misc

HOW were you supposed to know that the person who edited your videos was a streamer? And one who had a lot of fans?

You’d never watched a video game stream before, you were normally busy working on some mashup or another so you thought they were a waste of time. Maybe you could watch one of y/n’s, just to see what the hullabaloo was about?

You navigated to her page and, as it turned out, she was currently streaming. You clicked on the stream, not really knowing what to expect. A prompt told you that you had to make an account if you wanted to use the chat, so you opened another window and did so.

You refreshed the stream page and now it showed that you could use the chat and had a name: NEROmusic

“Alright ladies, germs, and Other.”

You had no idea who anyone was. You looked at the grid of people on the screen, some showing their faces and others just represented as their user icons. Oh, the frame around their icon lit up green when they said something. This was… MickTheMacken talking. Okay, you were getting the hang of this.

“Am I a ‘germ’ or ‘Other’?” MorningStar asked. MorningStar sounded like San, so you figured that was him.

“You can be Miscellaneous, if you like.”

“I want to be ‘Misc’,” Jageun Gomen Goyangi said, the frame lighting up. You knew who she was now, so you knew it was y/n. It was still funny to you to think about how you were working together all this time, and yet didn’t know you were working with a - by what you saw - kind of famous streamer, all because it was never something you would ask.

“‘Misc’?” Mick asked.

“‘Misc.’” She repeated.

“I adore it. I am enraptured.”

“You’d better be. I worked for all of five seconds on it.”

“Forceful.” Mick looked into the camera flirtatiously. 

The rim around BrickTheBracken’s screen lit up. “Stop stealing my man.”

“Ummm, excuse me? I don’t need to steal a man? I already have one?”

“Mhm.” San said emphatically.

“I desire not your man!” Y/n yelled. “Make haste, wench! Say your piece.”

Mick laughed. “Are you all watching my stream?”

Ryujin lit up. “I’m sniping so hard right now.”

“We’re all cheating crazy hard.” Keeho said-- wait, that was the idol from JUPiTER you had met! Keeho was a streamer? No wait, you had seen that video thumbnail where he was laughing or something… what a small world. Absolutely tiny.

“GOOD.” Mick continued. “Anyway, for the people out there in Radio Land: welcome to our third annual… what did we call it last time?”

“I don’t remember.” Yeji said.

“‘Secret Non-Santa’?” Ryujin guessed.

“With Cat here? We’d never come up with something so obvious. It has to be obtuse.” Keeho added.

“Secret Satan.” Y/n said.

“Round Robin Russian Roulette.”

“Hell.”

Mick laughed. “ANYgay, we’re doing That Fucking Thing We Do when we all find the worst games we can possibly find, throw them into the hat,” he lifted up a tophat, “and we each pick a shitty game and play it for the rest of us to yell at.”

“And everyone watching gives us money for charity!” Yeji said quickly.

“Yes, sorry Yeji, I’m always so preoccupied with our suffering that I forget we’re also trying to make other people’s lives better.”

“You’re welcome,” Yeji said pleasantly.

“How are you picking which of us are going?” San asked.

“Bracken made a wheel.”

“Oh?”

BrickTheBracken appeared in the frame as he wheeled a small game show-style wheel into view behind Mick and presented it to the viewers like a beautiful game show lady.

“Our beautiful Bracken,” Yeji said.

“Wowwww, we’re really coming up in the world.” Y/n said.

“We’re bougie.” Keeho added.

“Mhm.”

“Okay, take your seats, start your engines, keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times, because here we go!” Mick spun the wheel. “Cat!”

“Ahhhhhhhh shit.”

Everyone laughed. You laughed too.

Keeho laughed. “Couldn’t’ve happened to a worse person.”

“Keeho, I would like to be the first, to wish you a very Die.”

“Seven years of friendship and this is how she treats me?” Keeho pretended to cry.

“I’m calling your mother.”

Everyone laughed again.

“And to pick the game of our very aggressive contestant--” Mack fished around in the hat for a slip of paper “--Scary Granny! Please click link number five.”

There was a pause as - you guessed - y/n clicked the link and it opened. “...Oh god.”

Mick laughed as he read the description. “Look for evidence against granny in this dark and eeeevil game!”

“Is the game evil or is the granny?”

“I think it’s the game.”

“Before I play this, I would like to try and argue against it.” Y/n said.

“I won’t allow it, but go ahead.” Mack replied.

“I should not have to play this for two reasons: the first being that: …I’m hot. And the second being that: I hate this.”

“I’ve never seen you so I can’t account for the first one, and we all hate this but we do it for the yucks so: start the game, Cat.”

“I’ve seen her, I can vouch for her hotness,” San said.

“But we’ve never seen you either, so how do we know you know what you’re talking about?” Ryujin asked.

“Uhhhh…”

“Morn is hot,” y/n came to his defense.

“But you see how that still means nothing?”

“Circular hotness,” Ryujin said.

You chuckled.

“Keeho can solve this,” Braken started. “You’ve seen Cat, is she hot?”

Keeho’s eyes widened in the kind of shock someone’s face has when someone asks if their sibling is hot. “Um, I don’t want the ‘Keeho and Cat are dating’ rumors to start again so I’ll unfortunately have to decline.”

“You traitor!” Cat yelled. “Coward!”

You couldn’t tell if she was fake mad or actually mad. Everyone laughed, regardless.

“Cat, start the game,” Mick commanded.

She sighed loudly and the game replaced her icon on her screen. In a few seconds, hers was made the main screen so the viewers could watch.

“Oh my god,” y/n said, as the game loaded.

You hadn’t played any video games in your childhood on account of it not being allowed, but you could easily tell that the opening screen… what’s it called?

“The home screen looks like shit…” y/n devolved into rueful laughter.

Ah, yes: the home screen.

“This looks like a PS1 game threw up on itself. Do I really have to play this?”

“Yes, Cat. This is for charity. You have to do the thing.”

“Just tell me if all the games are this bad.”

“They are.”

“Fine.”

You chuckled to yourself.

She started the game and groaned. 

You may not have played a video game ever, but you’d seen ads for them before and this one looked like the most unfinished, garbage things you’d ever seen. It was ugly, and all the controls looked bigger than they needed to be.

You must steal from the old woman! was the text that came up on the screen.

“So I’m a burglar?” She asked.

The group laughed.

“Girl help, I’m knocking over an old woman.”

She started running around the level attempting to complete any of the missions the game gave her, but was having a hard time. The granny meant to chase the player got stuck in a wall, got stuck in the middle of the room for a bit, got stuck in the ceiling, and when she fell through the floor and then rapidly went flying vertically through the room a dozen times before shooting off into the stratosphere, Cat went silent.

She sighed. “God damnit.”

Goddamnit it, indeed.

“You have to make it funny, Cat,” Mick said.

She sighed and seemed to think for a moment as the old lady killed her and the level started over.

“You know those scam marriages where people get married to try and become an immigrant in another country?”

Mick laughed a little, seeming to know that this question was leading him. “Yeah.”

“Who are you really scamming if you scam marry someone to move to a place?”

“The government.” Yeji answered.

“You say that like no government has ever scammed its people, ever.”

“...That’s true.”

“I just think that the idea of a marriage being a scam because it doesn’t involve love totally negates asexual and aromantic people. You don’t need to be in romantic love to be married.”

“What about people who might be friends who want to get married for the benefits?” Ryujin chuckled.

“Are you seriously trying to tell me that every straight married couple on the planet loves or even just likes each other? My parents might still be awesomely in love, but I had friends with shitty parents so I KNOW that’s not true. And just look at all of the ‘I hate my spouse’ memes that boomers share; why would they share them if they actually love their spouse?”

“Oh my god.” Keeho said.

“How are you so smart, Cat?” Bracken asked, half-joking.

“I’m just really cute and sexy and good at thinking.”

San chuckled. “So humble too.”

“Mhm…” Granny got stuck again and she restarted the level. “But back to my point, not every marriage is a loving or even a liking one and those people should just get divorced, so the whole point of a marriage - supposing to be about two people who love each other who want to stay together forever - doesn’t make sense anyway.”

The granny killed her again and the level started over. She sighed.

“What about the argument that it’s to have kids?” Keeho asked.

“What about hetero couples who can’t get pregnant? What about couples who adopt, whether they’re gay or straight? Or women and men who are past the child bearing age? Should they get divorced then?”

Mick sighed. “Cat, I said make it funny, not get on a soapbox--” 

“You’ve put a lot of thought into this.” San observed.

“Only about five minutes. But my brain is very big and sexy and--”

“Don’t say it.” Keeho said.

“Wrinkly.”

“Ew.”

“So it was easy.”

Mick laughed as Keeho continued to make a disgusted face. 

“How do you propose we treat marriage instead?” Mick asked, trying to find the punchline.

“A business venture. And I don’t mean that in like a right wing, small government, libertarian-because-I’ve-never-left-my-small-town-or-even-encountered-a-woman way. I mean that, pre-feudalism, most families produced some sort of good with both members of the marriage contributing to the creation of that product or products, and either one or both participated in the selling of said products: I think that we should just treat marriages as long term business ventures.”

“I’m… I feel like that makes sense? But I’m not sure?” Yeji said, a little confused.

“And we should treat kids like ponzi schemes.”

Keeho sighed. “And there’s the joke.”

You laughed loudly with the group.

“Was that WHOLE FUCKING THING, just for that joke?” He yelled.

“No, I thought of the joke right at the end.”

She cleared the level but somehow the granny killed her despite the game having gone to the ‘Level Over’ screen.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She yelled.

Everyone laughed.

The level started over, but this time, none of the buttons were anywhere to be seen.

“Um… there’s no controls.”

“What?” San asked.

“There’s no controls. I’m moving the mouse and nothing’s happening.”

“What? How?” Keeho asked.

“I have no idea… I think I’m done, guys. Oh my god I can’t even exit the game.” She laughed. “I have to close the program, hold on.”

You decided to comment in the chat.

NEROmusic: Nice job, Cat

“Hey! The person who made my intro is here! Everyone go check out NEROmusic! They make awesome mashups and they’re so so so good.”

“She’s in your chat?” San asked.

“Mhm. She just said ‘good job’. I’m not sure if she’s being sarcastic or not.”

NEROmusic: I’m being serious. That game looked like shit lol

“It was shit, NERO, thank you for commiserating.”

The group went to the next game: Ryujin had to play something called Papa Simulator and had to try to take care of children while making a pizza. Somehow, everything ended up on fire.

Your phone buzzed.

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@luvvvx • @iamthehotdemon • @hrts4hanniehae • @rachs-words • @stayatinykatsy •

[akiitos]

OHMYGOD UR REQS ARE OPEN YAAY!!!

hmm can i request prsk boys w a fem reader who likes to do very dangerous things? idk if u alr did this but like readers kinda crazy and like if for example someone wanted to play russian roulette w her she'd be like "holy shit how much is at stake ofc im doin it" 😭 idk don't overwork urself wawawa have good day nehehe

a/n: hii! tysm and you too<3 please enjoy, anon!

prsk boys x fem!reader

" ah- what do you mean you're gonna seriously play russiaN ROULETTE!? "

@ akito shinonome

• he's literally watching you like a HAWK. he's always behind you with a hand on your shoulder while shaking his head 'no'

• knowing akito, he tries to act stoic and all like he doesn't care but his actions defeat that whole facade. it's quite obvious how much this mf is worrying about you EVERY SINGLE TIME

• he always tries to prevent you from doing anything TOO dangerous.. he doesn't wanna see you get hurt!

• he often refers to you as 'that crazy [name]' when talking about you

@ toya aoyagi

• he is worried SICK ABOUT YOU I SWEAR... he's always holding you back telling you not to do some crazy stunt

• "[name]... please don't do that, you're insane..." said toya, with the most concerned face ever. he just doesn't want anything bad to happen, is all

• he's near you to make sure you don't go off doing anything dangerous. it happens so often that sometimes he even predicts what your next action is (that is definetly saying something)

@ rui kamishiro

• rui is known to be dangerous by some students from school, that including akito. so rui is definetly.. amused by some of your dangerous intents.

• he is concerned, and doesn't want to get rid of anything fun or exciting but he doesn't want you getting injured or anything like that!

• he definetly chuckles at some of the things you say. like, "oh yeah, lets go burn that real quick!" and he'd laugh but then be like "wait you're.. serious?"

• two creative minds think alike i suppose

@ tsukasa tenma

• being an older brother, out of habit he's very wary for you and literally prevents you from doing anything to harm yourself

• "[name]! don't go doing that, you're gonna get hurt! lets.. go do something more fun!" and then he makes you solve some puzzles with him 💀

• HE JUST. DOESNT WANT YOU INJURED

• sometimes he thinks your absolutely insane and will think you'd make good friends with rui

[itgirlgyu]

Your moots as weapons!! (knives, guns, blades anything) No to violence, just for fun ;)

ALRIGHT LET'S GO!!!

@itz-yerin — death note.

at first i was like only for shits and giggles. but death note actually fits yerin like you'd never guess its ability until you wield it. also can provide you such great power but with a catch.

@full-sunnies — nunchucks.

makes people hella humbled while feeling like someone replaced their spine with electrical eel.

@huen-ingkai — russian roulette gun.

you'll never guess when they will go off.

@gyuletters — a toddler level of blatant honesty and a pepper spray.

star the type to attack you with fact bombs and make you cry to your mom but also pepper spray for the spicy days.

@channoticedmeuwu — laxatives.

often overlooked but kai kinda gives me this vibe that she'd be an unconventional weapon that may look harmless but will fuck you up.

@st4rrykai — those barbed baseball bats with irons pins on it.

and she decorates them with cute stickers!!! so the last thing before you get fucked up you see hello kitty.

@mazeinthemoon — steel fans.

its like so elegant and they get the job done pretty efficiently, feel like it would fit moon a lot.

@beomurang — wooden hammers.

like not very heavy ones but the ones jeonghan carry, like just enough to knock a few teeth out!

@cherrypeaking - poison.

like those fancy sexy women in periodical dramas use to kill nasty men

@1004tyun — one punch man's punch

crystal has this rizz that is undeniable in my hand but can be conveyed by a video of someone getting punched by one punch man.

@ox1-lovesick — medieval wrecking balls.

always swinging and hitting everyone in the face unprovoked.

@banggyu0308 — shurikens.

cute, precise and undeniably cool.

@harufluff—30 hours of hyuka's reverbed laughter in noise cancelling earphone on full volume.

will make you think like hahaha so lame... wait until the 13th hour passes.

@hyewka— wet towels.

rana's fics hit me like a wet towel in the face, and i love every second of it!

@majestyjun- booby traps.

will catch you on their blog and never let you go because holy shit their brain is >

@jisungsdaydreamer— jisung's predebut videos and audios.

let's be honest jisung's predebut content is cringe enough to kill one small adult, or two.

@fairyofshampgyu—electrical saw.

nia reminds me of beomgyu and beomgyu reminds me of his motor mouth which makes a similar sound to electrical saw—yes this correlation makes sense.

@strawberry-kirby—pillows.

suffocates you with her cuteness and kindness!!

@tyunlatte—a curse to sneeze every second of the day.

ive only interacted with them once but they are so nice and exuberant like a sneeze ( as everyone knows it's impossible to say acchoo without looking absolute adorable.)

@pressthehurtbutton — vile of virus that could end the world.

IDK WHY BUR I LIKE GET SCIENTIST VIBES FROM THEM BUT LIKE THINK,, doofensmirtz bajs

THIS TOOK ME SO LONG FOR NO REASON?!?

[vergess]

So a friend reblogging this interview tips post, which is a perfectly fine post with advice that is useful or whatever.

But I desperately need hiring managers to stop acting like the livelihood and continued survival of their interviewees is "playing the game." It's not a game; it has never been a game. It's people's survival. Our lives.

I understand that to management it's about showing team spirit. But to everyone else, management just said that I need to buy new clothes if I even want to be considered a meritorious applicant, regardless of my skills, experience and attitude.

Because every single thing I own is "ratty." That is to say, it is worn out, thread bared, and has stains/rips embroidered over. That's what being a poor person looks like.

"Oh just spend $20 on a shirt and pants."

I'm also fat. Button down shirts that won't be an Obscenity charge are $40. Pants are $60. I have 37 dollars to my name and I still have to buy medicine and shelter.

And remember: this expense is for the lottery chance that I may get hired. It is NOT an expectation presented AFTER an offer.

I get to pay for new clothes for russian roulette.

I should spend everything I have and more to buy one outfit for interviews and really, really hope that this time I get the job. Even though interviews are notoriously biased against fat people, POC, queer people, and women.

Management also just said I need to prove that I know about the company atmosphere from personal, unpaid, off the clock research above and beyond the application and interview process.

That I should self teach, BEFORE so much as an offer is made.

Meanwhile literally hundreds of my applications are thrown away on a weekly basis (I do about 15 applications a day most week days, and have been for multiple years now). The reasons for this are varied. Sometimes its because my name sounds too ethnic (I've had so many interviewers compliment me for not being Black which they thought based on my name). Sometimes they think I'm over qualified for every single job within 55 miles of me, as though having a college degree means I can photosynthesize instead of needing a home.

Often it's simply because companies lie all the time about whether they are actually hiring, posting dozens of fake job listings. That way they can tell their overworked and underpaid staff, "Oh, the reason you have 3 doubles a week is because of all those lazy unemployed assholes that don't want to work."

The fact that there is a "game" where the loser may become homeless or dead at all is deranged. The fact that the losing players all have to smile, and cheer, and cooingly tell the winners what a Good, Good Job they did is significantly more disgusting.

And let me be clear: the OP of that post is a hiring manager. That shit about "ratty clothes" is entirely under the hiring manager's opinion. There's no way to know what a given hiring manager thinks of your clothes, though if you're visibly poor, fat, or nonwhite chances are they would think you look unkempt in a full 3 piece suit with garters.

That shit about "show me you did independent unpaid labour to prove your loyalty to a company that isn't even hiring you yet" is ALSO under the manager's absolute judgment. You have NO way of knowing what stupid tidbits of information are the "right" ones to recite. You could memorize every piece of information that company has ever published and you STILL would not know which trivia is the Right Answer.

Same with the "ask me a question" shit.

There is no right answer. Interviews don't check for skills, abilities, experience, or even team cohesion.

They are vibe checks. They exist to give hiring managers a way to disqualify IMMENSELY qualified candidates over their own unexamined bigotries.

And btw? We have the science to prove it. It's called "implicit bias."

If you have an accent, are fat, aren't white, are visibly disabled or queer in any way, etc? Your inability to get a job is not because you "didn't play the game."

It's because the "game" was rigged to fuck you over from the start.