#the adventure of the missing three-quarter

[monocordum]

Evil Holmes be like: "Just how far can I tease Watson? Surely he'll react to this! No? What about this?"

Watson: "Did he just call me profound and scintillating?"

Not out of context, in fact

(From The Adventure of the Missing Three-Quarter, August 1904 issue of The Strand)

[principiumindividuationis777]

[studyinspectrum]

The Adventure of the Missing Three-Quarter, by Arthur Conan Doyle, published 1904, later collected in The Return of Sherlock Holmes

i'll be the first to admit i don't know shit about fuck about sports. i learned everything i know about American football from john madden memes. i heard that cricket matches could technically go on for days and i got scared. i know what a rugby uniform looks like because isn't it weird that the New Zealand national rugby union team called the "All-Blacks"?

anyway, The Adventure of the Missing Three-Quarter involves a a missing rugby player. The content warnings for The Adventure of the Missing Three-Quarter are as follows terminal illness, tuberculosis

the summary

a rugby player named Godfrey Staunton on the Cambridge team has gone missing. he plays the "three-quarter" position, hence the name of the story. it's only days before their major match with Oxford and they're unlikely to win without him. the owner of the team, Cyril Overton, comes to Sherlock Holmes asking for his help in the matter.

Overton says that the previous night, Staunton was seen receiving a message from a rough looking bearded man at the hotel he was staying. according to the witness, the news was devastating and the two of them left the hotel together quickly. Staunton hasn't been seen since.

Holmes and Watson go to the hotel and question the witness, a hotel porter. the porter says that before he disappeared Staunton wanted to send a telegram but once the message was drafted said he wanted to deliver it himself. when searching Staunton's desk, Holmes discovers a blotter, something used to soak up the excess ink of the mail Staunton intended to send. the part of it that is legible reads "Stand by us for God's sake" indicating that there's more than one party involved with Staunton's disappearance. Holmes also finds a couple of bills and other papers.

Staunton's uncle and closet living relative, Lord Mount-James, arrives. he was telegraphed by Overton to see if he knew anything about his whereabouts. Lord Mount-James is apparently incredibly wealthy but a miser and refused to give any of his money to Staunton before he himself passed away. he provides no other information and even threatens Holmes to stop looking into the matter if he expects to get paid for his actions. Holmes points out that Staunton might've been kidnapped in order to extort Lord Mount-James for his money and at that, Lord Mount-James tells him to locate Staunton as soon as possible.

Holmes goes to the telegram office and tricks the worker into showing him the counterfoil of the telegram Staunton sent the day before. this basically a document that shows the message and intended address of the telegram. it was addressed to Dr. Leslie Armstrong, a doctor at Cambridge. this name becomes familiar to Holmes as he picked up a bill of services from Dr. Armstrong on Staunton's desk.

Holmes and Watson go to visit Dr. Armstrong who doesn't know anything about Staunton. when confronted about the bill, Armstrong gets angry and kicks them out of his home, refusing to answer any more questions. Holmes and Watson stay in an inn across the street from Dr. Armstrong's office to keep an eye on him as he's clearly the most suspicious.

the doctor has been seen taking a carriage out to the country regularly but no one has seen has destination. Holmes tries to follow Dr. Armstrong on bicycle, but the doctor catches on and gives him the slip. in secret once the doctor has returned from his trip, Holmes coats the wheels of the carriage in aniseed oil. the next day when he goes to make the trip, Holmes uses a beagle-foxhound named Pompey from the village to track the scent of the aniseed oil.

Holmes and Watson follow the trail and witness Dr. Armstrong's carriage apparently returning and stay out of sight. they continue on the path and come across a solitary cottage. when they are about to enter, they see the carriage returning and go inside.

inside, they find Staunton sobbing over the corpse of a recently deceased woman. Dr. Armstrong and the bearded man from the porter's story enter the house. Armstrong is about to fly into a rage, but Holmes asks him to remain calm and says that they probably thought each other adversaries in the whereabouts of Staunton this whole time. Where Holmes and Watson thought Armstrong responsible for Staunton's disappearance, Armstrong thought them hired by Lord Mount-James to reveal the sensitive information they stumbled upon in this cottage.

Staunton was the husband of the woman who recently died, the bearded man her father. Staunton married the woman in secret last year, thinking that Lord Mount-James would disown him if he found out as he most certainly would've disapproved of the marriage. unfortunately, the woman came down with tuberculosis and her condition was getting worse and worse. Dr. Armstrong was an old friend of Staunton and vowed to take care of his wife and keep the secret while he treated her. Staunton ran away in the night upon receiving the news from her father that her condition was getting worse and she would not survive the week. Staunton has been at her bedside since.

Holmes vows to the doctor that he and Watson will keep this information secret and leave the cottage behind them.

the analysis

it's a sad one ain't it. but it is one i really like! the way that the mystery opens poses so many people as the possible culprit, could it be an enemy from Oxford? Overton himself? the bearded stranger? maybe even Lord Mount-James? and then through careful deduction, the mystery narrows to a single suspect and or at least someone that's most definitely involved. this mystery unfolds with its emotional beats which i think is fun and a little atypical for a canonical story. the passions and emotions of people become the cornerstones for the clues as they are discovered.

Watson takes a bit of a backseat, the story is a bit more concerned with the exploits of Holmes as he tromps around and makes his deductions. Holmes is also quite cocky, the way he turns Lord Mount-James argument about money matters back on him was a fun reversal. i enjoyed Holmes complaining to Watson about following Dr. Armstrong's carriage on bicycle and then Watson suggesting he try his hand at following the doctor in the same way, to which Holmes tells him it'd be fruitless for him to try. Dr. Armstrong's misunderstanding about Holmes and Watson's intentions making the mystery more difficult to solve is an enjoyable aspect just for the fact of having an adversary to face up against and figure out how to outsmart.

the story obviously ends on a sad note, concluding the emotional arcs of the story in an unexpected way. it's surprising and melancholy though, not shocking. or at least not shocking in the hinging your entire plot on sexual abuse kind of way. tuberculosis is a serious illness and despite what the western world will tell you, it's still a disease that exists today. while modern medicine has helped and can cure people of it before the infection becomes full blown TB, it still affects many people in the United States and around the world. it was a much less treatable illness in the early 20th century though. it was known as the "wasting" disease and if you've ever heard of someone "dying of consumption" it's TB. "consumption" was used as the term because people liked it to your body "being consumed".

it's another mystery where there is no crime technically being committed, just a man in a difficult place and a tragedy striking at an inopportune time. it is among one of the more depressing stories, but one that i think resolves with the proper closure it deserves. i think that it's a lot more interesting when mysteries don't have to end with someone in handcuffs. there's a poetry to this story that i appreciate despite the content.

ok but what do other people think?

people don't like this story that much. well, they trend toward the negative moreso than they do the positive. the story has a 3.48 on Goodreads. for something to compare it to, one of the most beloved short stories, A Scandal in Bohemia, has a 4.23 on Goodreads. the consensus seems to be that this story is just "alright". nothing too special and forgettable.

from Goodreads user Meg:

[…] A lot of running around without much result for a while and the reader had no chance to figure out why. Makes for a dull story.

from Goodreads user Liz:

A lackluster story of a missing rugby player with a scrooge for an uncle.

and from Goodreads user Crime Addict Sifat:

[…] I will not recommend this story to anyone.

Among the people that like this story, they point out liking the character of Dr. Armstrong and compare him to Moriarty. i don't know if that comparison is apt, Dr. Armstrong is just a doctor and not a secret crime empire owning professor, but i also appreciated the appeal of having some kind of an "enemy" for Holmes to go up against.

the ending also seems to be divisive, with people liking the twist at the ending and find it appropriate if not sad or people being disappointed in the build up. i can see why it'd be disappointing if you put too much weight on Dr. Armstrong trying to fill Moriarty's shoes.

adaptions and conclusion

again, an unfavorable story to adapt. i think people would rather adapt something with… a crime yknow? and with dealing with tuberculosis, it'd be a bit of a heavier story to deal with for the unprepared. it's one that's mostly been adapted in the form of audio dramas or for the radio.

there's a series of short films produced by a silent film company Stoll Pictures that seems to be the only one that has adapted this story as is. 45 of the 56 short stories were adapted into short films and 2 of the 4 novels were adapted into full length films. The Adventure of the Missing Three-Quarter is among one of the stories they adapted.

in the Stoll films, Sherlock Holmes is portrayed by Ellie Norwood. ACD was still alive to see all of the Stoll films and apparently was amazed by and admired Norwood's impersonation of Holmes:

He has that rare quality, which can only be described as glamour, which compels you to watch an actor eagerly even when he is doing nothing. He has the brooding eye which excites expectation and he has also a quite unrivaled power of disguise. My only criticism of the films is that they introduce telephones, motorcars and other luxuries of which the Victorian Holmes never dreamed.

Starrett, Vincent (1993). The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes. Otto Penzler Books. p. 156. ISBN 1-883402-05-0.

with such a glowing review from the author himself, i'm very curious about the Stoll films and i'll definitely be adding them to my list of things to watch. Norwood is among one of the actors to portray Holmes that i think has the "silhouette" as defined by the illustrations by Sidney Paget in the original publications of the story. i'd be very curious to see how his performance compares to Rathbone's and Brett's who i'm much more familiar with and fit that same "silhouette".

(crossposted on my bearblog)

[clearwingedmaven]

So we tied. And for the starting blog:

Favorite underrated Sherlock Holmes stories, and why you should read them!

1) The Five Orange Pips: Look. I am a sucker for examinations of consciousness, and this was like the first time we've seen Sherlock Holmes feel and seem human. Be vulnerable. Be angry, despairing, haunted, even. He's lost a client, and as far as we know, that's the first time that's ever happened to him. It's the first time he's failed at this magnitude.

And his rant to Watson before he goes to chase down Openshaw's killers is definitely a worthwhile read.

2) The Adventure of the Engineer's Thumb: After doing the research for the fic, and finding the terrifying Paget drawing for this one, yeah, this one's good. It's a little bizarre, given the ending, but the implications of Colonel Stark still being out there, and maybe doing this to other people is chilling. If you like... well, horror, definitely worth a read.

3) The Adventure of the Naval Treaty: I don't see this one talked about a lot! I find the cottagecore aspects appealing, and the interwoven political intrigue and little bits of back story for Watson are fun, too. An absolute bonus is the ending: I would also be jumping up and down if I got my important document given to me for breakfast, and the monologue with the rose... also a plus!

4) The Adventure of the Lion's Mane: I do like cottagecore Holmes, I guess! I love this little story, especially that Holmes, despite being retired, still immediately rushes in to help solve this mystery. I feel like it's a great demonstration of Holmes's humanity and kindness, rather than just his logic and rationality.

5) The Problem of Thor Bridge: I can't say that this... elaborate plan made sense, but it was deeply intriguing. I love how again, it's a great showcase of Holmes’s humanity and kindness, and the woven cold blooded rivalry, and plotting made for an intriguing short story in the long run. Extreme bonus points for the Granada adaptation: Jeremy Brett strutting across the bridge was an incredible image.

And finally:

6) The Adventure of the Missing Three-Quarter: I really don't see people talking about this one, either! There were bits of mystery that were deeply intriguing, such as the papers that were left about, and it's a very bittersweet tale, but also as a deeply human tragedy. There's no real villain here(apart from Lord Mount-James), but there is death and despair with the death of Godfrey's young wife. If you like an angsty read, this is worth it.

And that's my two cents.

[whats-in-a-sentence]

The dog sniffed round for an instant, and then with a shrill whine of excitement started off down the street, tugging at his leash in his efforts to go faster. In half an hour we were clear of the town and hastening down a country road.

"The Illustrated Sherlock Holmes Treasury" - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

[moroniccats]

NOT NORMAL ABOUT THEM HOURS AGAIN

“Excellent, Watson! You are scintillating this evening." - Sherlock Holmes, the Missing Three Quarter

EXCUSE ME?? SCINTILLATING?? AS IN

I am most decidedly NOT normal about this

[brandileigh2003]

Wolfstar fic canon divergent fic recs: post-azkaban, bring back black, lie low at lupins

Let me know what I missed including self recs, and give the authors all the love.

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Open ended:

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-On my tbr/recs from others-

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•Black Oblivion by @alandia-wings Remus Sirius and tonks all survive

•In Daylight by Essie_Cat

--check out wolfstar librarian list1. 2. She's awesome--

-- there is also a long list at wolfstar warehouse including older ones and many off of ao3--

[serahadmoni]

Mo Laochan

For both the Right Hand and Countering Signet prompts. Still undecided if this will end up on AO3. Edit to tag @empyreanevents

“Couldn’t we have done this next weekend?”

Like the last three times I’ve asked in nominally different ways, my mother keeps her own counsel. Though the answer matters little with our destination so close at hand, it’s the principle.

Well before dawn this morning, Xaden and Garrick departed for Precipice Pass with Findley under the pretense of restocking their personal arsenals. I love Maman with my whole heart, but who wouldn’t rather be combing the market in Ruel for new daggers if the alternative is spending the next several days “in retreat.”

Any other time I might not mind. Amari help me, I would welcome a respite from the boisterous bustle of Riorson House. But being left behind this time, especially after missing the annual sojourn to the coast last month feels premeditated. I couldn’t begin to guess who might be doing the scheming.

Maman. Uncle Fen. Xaden. Findley. If I was excluded on purpose, it could be any of them.

Wind whips through the narrow canyon, stirring my mother’s hair into a dark disorganized halo around her face. Still, she presses on, her dappled mare picking its way along the last quarter mile of rocky terrain. My roan, Mistral, nickers uneasily as a scree releases at our backs, pebbles skittering across the trail.

Ahead, beyond a tight bend in the Beatha, lies a cabin. Not one allotted by virtue of my uncle’s seat, but one that belongs to Garrick’s grandparents and to their grandparents and so on. Given the state of it last we visited, you could have told me it was erected the same time as the fortress at Gianfar and I wouldn’t blink an eye.

Completely inaccessible in the winter, we only ever attempt passage when lupine blankets the tight clearing that surrounds it. While it is the height of summer and a host of the conical purple blooms do indeed sway lazily in the midst of the overgrown villosum in every meadow we’ve passed, my questions remain. Why now? And did my uncle ask my mother to keep me busy so I—

Suspicion unfurls, a dark inescapable weight settling behind my ribs, and the gulf between fourteen and fifteen once again feels too vast to navigate. Assumptions help exactly no one, though. Me least of all.

I nudge Mistral into a gentle trot, drawing up at Brume’s flank.

“Why now?” I demand, abandoning the carefully crafted veils of courtesy that have been my near constant companion. The words taste like ash on my tongue, petulant and prideful in a way I strive desperately to avoid and my mother straightens in her saddle, tugging on the reins until she and Brume fall in alongside me.

I have officially become a cliche.

“Do you have plans I’m not aware of, mo laochan?”

Not an answer, but better than stonewalled silence. Unfortunately, I hadn’t been officially invited to accompany my cousin to Ruel which left me no honest response that might inspire one in kind. When I chance a glance, she’s watching me, her expression schooled into the serene neutrality she typically reserves for the assembly chamber.

“Apparently not.”

Tenderness thaws the mask, my mother’s dark eyes turning both soft and unbearably somber as her knuckles blanch around the reins. Echoes of the nearby rapids cascade against the stone cliffs that surround us, filling the space with their all-consuming song, and I exhale, turning my attention back to the path ahead as it veers closer to the river bank.

“When your grandmother died and my brother assumed the mantle of Duke, I was ill-prepared for the reality of my role.”

“So you’ve said.” A hundred times. A hundred times a hundred. Which doesn’t explain why she’s dragging me into the wilds today of all days. Why I can’t join my closest friends, my godsdamned brothers, on their adventure.

As usual, she ignores my impudence and carries on as if I never interrupted. “My most cherished desire is to see that you aren’t similarly burdened.”

While objectively true, so true in fact it defines my very existence, her hope that I be well equipped has no bearing on the here and now as far as I can tell. It’s a lofty goal, certainly. And my mother has done more to see it to fruition than anyone else, but the timing seems unnecessarily specific.

“War is coming,” she says softly, her lips tight around the words as if she wants to keep them, swallow them, instead of unleashing them into the world. It unsettles something in me because war is already here, has been here for the last several centuries even though our relationship with the Poromish is more cordial than we’d ever admit to a soul in Calldyr. “I wish I could spare you this, let you be a boy a while longer, but now more than ever you need to understand where you fit in the complex tapestry of Tyrrendor.”

“I thought my place was at Xaden’s side?”

No, now I’m a cliche, the impotent vitriol dripping from each surly syllable an embarrassment to myself, to her. Yet, I can’t seem to stop them. Now that I’ve given the floodgates leave to open, hurling the words feels cathartic, necessary. As much as I’m happy to serve and support the province and our people, no one asked.

Not once. So here I sit, subject to someone else’s decisions, perpetually.

“It is.” Her tone never wavers even in the face of my pointless indignation. She’s not the one who left without me, who only mentioned the trip in passing after dinner last night.

“Then I should be with—”

Them. Him.

“Not this time,” she cuts in, her tone sharp, final in that way both she and my uncle have of unequivocally finishing a conversation.

My teeth clamp together, the ache a visceral, vibrant presence when I yank at the reins a little too sharply to peel off the beaten just as the roofline of the cabin appears. Mistral tosses his head in protest, threatening to rear until I lean forward and stroke the length of his neck in apology.

We gain the grounds in uneasy silence, the edge of my anger burning itself out when I dismount, the feathered tips of the wild grass whispering sweetly against my boots. Despite the thinner air, I breathe easier here. Always have. Even when it’s the last place I truly want to be. This little lea amongst a sparse grove of spruce feels a world away from…everything.

It’s only after that Maman begins to explain herself. After the horses have been watered. After our packs are formless piles of fabric beside the hearth. After dinner. After dishes. After nine months worth of dust has been beaten from the mattresses and the sheets slipped into place. After the ancient ring of stones outside has been cleared of debris and tinder collected. After I split enough wood to replace the well-seasoned logs we’ll use while in residence.

Once my eyes turn heavy-lidded, with a cavalcade of stars arrayed above us and firelight dancing between us, then and only then does my mother find her way back.

“Every living thing has a purpose,” she sighs to the sky, her neck arched at an impossible angle as she begins. My weariness evaporates and I sit up, hauling a knee toward my chest. “You understand what Garrick’s father does for your uncle, don’t you?”

I nod, because I do. Because it’s any easy answer. “He’s Uncle Fen’s aide.”

“But do you know what that means? Not the tasks he’s been assigned or the authority it grants him, but what it means,” she thumps her chest soundly and pins me down with her eyes, “in your bones.”

My mother never asks a question without reason, so I consider it carefully before opening my mouth. “He ensures Uncle’s will gets carried out. No matter what.”

The radiance of her answering smile rivals any of the stars above. “Yes,” she says, her voice lush with both pride and elation. “Stuart, though he often advises your uncle in private, his purpose is to be Fen’s purpose when he himself cannot. Regardless of his own opinion.”

A position Garrick will assume when the time comes, Amari willing.

“Now, the more difficult question. Do you know what I do for your uncle?”

Aside from her seat on the assembly and the fact she always accompanies my uncle on diplomatic missions, I would be hard pressed to enumerate her duties. She holds no official title. Inheritance of the duchy passed to Xaden as soon as he turned ten. As for what her purpose is in the grand scheme…

My face must betray my ignorance because one of her brows quirks and she takes pity on me moments later.

“I’m the balance,” she says, as if it was a given, like someone can just declare themselves a universal concept and make it so.

“I don’t—”

“I’m his right hand. Unspoken, of course. The one who cleans up his messes. Soothes the feathers he’s ruffled. I go the places he can’t. Meet with the people he can’t. Make the deals he can’t. Say what he can’t. Both to others and to Fen himself. The Duke of Tyrrendor must be certain things, especially to the people of the province. But also to greater Navarre. When we first made contact with Tecarus, it wasn’t your uncle that opened the dialogue.”

While the interactions with Poromish citizens at our border are still strained, they’re much less likely to end in bloodshed today than they were even six months ago.

“Your uncle calls me his shadow. As if I only exist as an extension of him.”

Across the fire, Maman grimaces, her lovely face twisted with disgust. The expression sets a hollow in my stomach because I realize - at least in some small part - she’s talking about me. What Xaden, what others may one day think of me. I turn my attention to the coals, poking them restlessly with a branch to stir them to a second life. Embers burst free, dancing on an updraft.

“Balance isn’t a fixed point to which you must cling, Bo. We are not a reflection of or response to any one person. Not your uncle. Not even a king. Balance is the channel change flows through, the perpetually evolving negotiation of countless variables that leads - with any hope - to wisdom. To peace. For you. For everyone.”

Suddenly there’s a lump in my throat, a godsdamned boulder worth of responsibility. A weight I can’t possibly carry. It’s all I can do to rest my chin atop my knee and keep breathing. My mother sighs again, shaking out her shoulders and rubbing her arms to warm them despite the roaring fire.

“It will be what you make it, mo laochan, but from where I sit, if anyone is a shadow it’s them.”

[writingquestionsanswered]

do you have any advice for writing/plotting a series without the plot feeling repetitive or boring and drawn out, but still be connected and feel like the same story?

Plotting a Cohesive Series

It depends on the type of series you want to write. Some series are one big story told in cohesive parts (like The Hunger Games, ACOTAR, A Song of Ice and Fire, The Earthsea Cycle) while others are more like stand alone "episodes" united by a premise (like Nancy Drew, The Hardy Boys, Sweet Valley High, Sherlock Holmes, Miss Marple).

If you want to plot an episodic series, you'll want to come up with a premise that allows for multiple, similarly themed adventures. There's a reason why most episodic series tend to revolve around detectives or investigators... that's an easy avenue for a variety of interesting plots. While there may be overarching "mythology" like Moriarty in Sherlock Holmes, or potentially an overarching situation in your protagonist's life that evolves over the series (such as their marriage falling apart, going through divorce, and finding new love), there won't be much in the way of plot that carries through from one book to the next.

If you want to plot a progressive series, where you take a big story revolving around a particular conflict, then break it up into cohesive parts that revolve around progressive conflicts that lead to the end (think of The Hunger Games series: the overarching conflict was the oppression of Panem by the Capitol, but the conflict of book one was The Hunger Games event. The conflict of book two was the quarter quell event. The conflict of book three was the war between the districts and the Capitol. Each story was a small, progressive part of the bigger story), start with the following posts: Creating an Overarching Plot for a Series Planning a Series Plotting a Trilogy

Those will walk you through the plotting. Making it interesting and not repetitive will depend on you coming up with a series conflict and related book conflicts that are compelling and do a good job of moving the story forward without rehashing the same types of events over and over again. And keeping it from being drawn out will depend on your ability to craft tight and cohesive plots that tell the progressive tale while allowing your characters to grow and change over the course of each book.

Good luck with your series!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[manychsheartdepths]

Well uhhh Wanych kinda has a backstory!

She is a pretty simple character actually... You know we just grab an archetype and sprinkle it with some unique vibe of dont starve!! I guess that was the original game's formula

Soooo Wanych is not an exception!! Pretty cartoonishly stereotypic and timburtonly quirky! Even tho some things can definitely tell she is a fan oc. Well! It's still me, after all...

I think she simply wanted somebody to love, to be someone's housewife ... And one day she bought a pretty odd radio 🫡 BAD CHOICE, sweet lady, for someone who can be manipulated so easily!

Ahhh that little love affair with some strange voice who told her sweet lies and promised the TRUE LOVE OF HER LIFE! Just come at night to that old manufacture and have a nicest date... She came. and went missing.

(song lyrics from Corpse Bride!)

"Then next to the graveyard by the old oak tree

On a dark foggy night at a quarter to three

She was ready to go, but where was he?

And then? She waited...

And then? There in the shadows, was it her man?

And then? Her little heart beat so loud!

And then?! And then, baby, everything went black..."

Of course she got fooled by ughhh THAT MAN 🪄🚬♟️... Or not? He promised her great love, and ...

Honestly, i like the original game a little bit more than Together one, because umm... Simpler the lore — stronger the feelings for me, i mean... it's pretty conditional, which brings more fairytaley than fantasy vibes. And i like that. Sooo i love to imagine that Wanych met Wilson before the events of dst, and they went through that original adventure in duet!!! Like, she accidently got into inhabited dimension instead of her own. I thought that will be better for their chemistry🧪🧫...

Well there was much funny things i imagined about all this, i think ill save it for the next posts! As i said, nothing much. But thanks for reading!!! Glad anyone still checking my lil blog 🤧npfftt

[teacupsandcyanide]

I adore Billie and think she would play the Doctor very well but I am not remotely a fan of the idea of her actually being the Doctor. I want the show to go forwards, not backwards. From what I’ve read online about the production issues impacting the end of this season and from the way that “introducing Billie Piper” didn’t have “as the Doctor” on the end, I’m hopeful that it is just a horrendous “buying time with nostalgia bait” thing and an easy casting choice strategy. I can see them thinking “hey the 60th did well, let’s do that again”.

So playing within those terms: if you’re going to buy time with a nostalgia bait special, and it absolutely has to be nostalgia bait, at least make it even across the board and don’t just focus on your favourite white girl who has already returned multiple times and had more shoutouts than any other companion. Do some justice to others, particularly those who had less time and were under-utilised during their run.

For example: We find out quickly that the Doctor hasn’t regenerated with Rose’s face, what’s happened is that - due to him fucking about shooting regeneration energy into the console - the Doctor and the TARDIS have body-swapped. The TARDIS now has free reign of the Doctor’s body while it’s still in the first fifteen hours of its regeneration cycle, and it’s put on its Bad Wolf face because remember who was involved the last time someone fucked about with the console and the endless energy stored within? (Fun Who fact! Artron energy is supposed to be very similar or possibly even the same thing to regeneration energy.)

The TARDIS has some agenda of her own, possibly she wants to find Susan because 1) she’s gotten sick of waiting for the Doctor to do that 2) she misses her 3) she’s staging an intervention. So the TARDIS goes on a rollicking adventure piloting the TARDIS-which-is-now-the-Doctor, who is stuck inside the console or in some symbolic nether space as the kind of consciousness a TARDIS usually is. They don’t even have a face yet. (Possibly at some point three-quarters through they get to the point where they realise it’s impossible to fix the situation and extricate themself if they don’t even have face, so they focus really hard and … end up with Idris’s face temporarily.)

The TARDIS isn’t too bothered about the Doctor’s struggles because as far as she’s concerned they’re safely tucked away and she gets to be the thief for once. She reckons it can’t be that hard to be the Doctor. She gets herself a little companion - alright, she kidnaps someone. Her chameleon circuit is also working way better than it has in years - oh wait. No. The body isn’t supposed to do that, is it?

The body has changed again to take on a face that also once tirelessly searched for a missing Time Lady. It’s turned into Yasmin Khan. The problem is, you see, that over the centuries the TARDIS got a bit too used to taking on interfaces of past inhabitants to argue with, comfort, direct, or bitch out people, usually the Doctor. That, coupled with the natural instincts to adapt and camouflage to a new setting, means that she keeps turning into whichever companion has the most relevant skillset. She isn’t really them, she’s the TARDIS, but she’s wearing their faces, and because she has the memory of the TARDIS and that includes memories of the people she had a telepathic link with, she has access to their memories up until their last trip in the TARDIS.

When she needs to bandage a wound she becomes Belinda. When information needs to be sought out and obtained she becomes Bill Potts. When video game know how is needed, she turns into Ryan. She spends a lot of time as Bill, Yaz, and Martha, because when you’re trying to find someone Yaz will organise you and keep you focused (Clara will also come in clutch with the post-it notes), Bill will ask questions without putting people on guard, and Martha is kind of a Swiss Army knife of usefulness because she knows medical care, knows how to use weapons and navigate sci-fi MacGuffins, is intelligent and never gives up hope on a goal. Take it further back and you can have whatever Classic Who companions never got the spotlight they deserved or simply didn’t get as much time and are often forgotten. Because the TARDIS hasn’t forgotten them. The TARDIS remembers all of them. Meanwhile, companion of the day is just doing their best to keep up.

While the Doctor is trying to navigate who they could possibly turn into this time but having to do so in a space where identity as a concept doesn’t really exist, the TARDIS is dealing with flashing through all these different identities and being pulled every which way. She realises why it’s so hard to focus on the goal of finding Susan, because the harder she tries to go back the more distracted she gets - because here’s the thing, memories are never just memory. The longer she spends as one face, the more she gets wrapped up in the story of that face and the more she cares about the unresolved threads. She only has their memories up until their last trip, and their stories kept going without her. They stepped outside her before they lived their happy ending, so she has no memory of it.

And we realise that this was never just about Susan, it’s about the fact that the TARDIS never gets any choice in who goes and who stays and for how long, all she can do is sit back and watch, and she never gets to say goodbye. She goes from being psychically connected to these people to suddenly never seeing them again, and Belinda’s particularly abrupt departure right after catching a glimpse of Susan in the Doctor’s mind was the final straw.

This is the point where her little kidnapped companion, someone entirely new, is able to help her simply by being themself. Bonus points if said kidnapped companion has been treated so far like a bit of a second class citizen because the TARDIS has been so focused on finding Susan. But they do something that no other companion in the TARDIS’s memory can do or would think to do, and the TARDIS realises that the past is not the way forward, the future is. New life, new people, new friends. She has always known this and believed this, even and especially when the Doctor couldn’t. She’s just like them, she can’t stop herself from opening her doors to new strays.

So the TARDIS gives up the search and does what’s really important: she sends a goodbye message. Not on behalf of the Doctor, just for her, to any past companion who might happen to stumble across it. And to do that, she takes on the face that never got to properly say goodbye or have goodbye said to her: Susan.

Then she swaps bodies back and the Doctor is able to settle into whatever new body they settle on. Possibilities: the kidnapped companion either dies in action or is cool with being photocopied, and the TARDIS suggests their face or is wearing their face when the Doctor gets the reins back, and the Doctor either chooses to roll with it or is stuck with it due to being bad at trying on bodies during regeneration the way Romana did. Or the Doctor just has an entirely new face and now they also have a companion who was the TARDIS’s companion first and is mainly interested in sticking around to stay near her. Either way the emphasis is on heading forwards with entirely new things and accepting that you will never feel ready to let the old things you love go.

Biggest problem with all of this: I would write it as a fanfic but never as an actual episode. Apart from breaking its own Aesop, it would heinous to watch as a viewer who wasn’t intimately familiar with every character flashing onscreen. There’s no way to actually do it that does even-handed justice to Classic companions too because there’s just too many of them. This is just my suggestion trying to follow the prompt of “if you absolutely had to do a big nostalgia bait episode and this was the lead-in you were given, what would you do?” What I would actually do is Not Fucking This; I’d have Fifteen regenerate into literally anyone except a character we’ve already seen a lot of.

[matrixbearer2024]

Since the poll is practically over and the outfit's largely been decided, I'll be dropping the first post to the strip challenge in a couple hours on my Ford Blog @gftimelord to christen it HAHAHHA- (psst go bother him it'll be funny HAHHAHAH) Thanks for the interaction everybody, I only hope to deliver. Here's the first drabble to start it off with since I am pairing every drawing with a story sequence as promised. You could probably think of this as my interpretation for some kind of continuation to Ford's route in "Swooning Over Stans" by @gfdatingsim since I've genuinely been non-stop playing that game since it's recommendation to me. I will balance med proper and my delulu if it's the last thing I do HAHAHAHA-

Reply to this post as well if you want to be pinged for whenever this challenge updates!

I Accept Your Challenge!

(Stanford Pines x Reader)

After you heard a new challenge becoming trendy among couples you decide to try it on a certain Stanford Pines; just... you didn't exactly explain to him what the challenge was.

Maybe his competitiveness was a good thing in this case. You at least got a bloody good show out of his cluelessness.

Another slow summer day and you were in the living room of the mystery shack alongside the Pines as they went about doing whatever. Navigating your relationship with a certain scientist definitely somewhat of a learning curve but you digressed. Similar to Dipper and Mabel, you'd receive post cards from the twins about their seafaring adventures; your mail just came with additional special letters from your beloved. All of which you'd neatly stowed away in a bag that you always had with you, no use keeping it at home when you were rarely there.

Often traveling for a nomadic lifestyle was serene and fun at times, but you found yourself missing this place. It felt more like a home to you than your own place did in the couple weeks you'd stuck around after your car got smashed into the side of the log cabin.

Who knew that the same man who totaled your car one day would be the same adorable nerd you now called your lover?

It felt a bit like those romance dramas Stan liked to watch but you quickly dismissed that thought. Fairytales weren't real, fate isn't exactly something you believed in either. Stories of princesses finding their prince charmings were mostly smoke and mirrors, things you'd tell a child to give them hope of a better world than reality.

In gravity falls however... you quickly learned that nothing was truly impossible. Never say never in this small town of Oregon.

You sat on the floor next to Dipper and Mabel as they boredly flipped through TV channels; books, papers and crayons littered about around the three of you. The glass danced with colors from the rapidly flipping images while the twins struggled to find anything even remotely entertaining to watch, you couldn't help but allow your mind to wander from the boredom.

You and Ford spent quite a bit of time since you'd arrived at the beginning of the week, frankly you'd made the trip as soon possible when Stan shot you a message that they'd finally docked to spend the summer with the kiddos. You hoped it wasn't all that obvious how much you missed Stanford, but you didn't really need to worry when he was the one who immediately swamped you up in a hug the second you were out of your car. It's only been two years thus far since you've known the man but Stanley and Mabel insisted that you stay with him in his room, you didn't know why they were so adamant until you saw the state of the man's living quarters.

A whole day was spent with the both of you furnishing and cleaning the said room because of that but neither of you complained, most of the time was spent goofing off anyway.

Now... you were wondering where Ford was, not to mention what he was doing. Was he down in the lab tinkering again? You didn't want to disturb him, but you really wanted to find him. Any time spent apart didn't feel like time used to it's full capacity, even if you did enjoy the company of the other Pines; it just wasn't the same.

At some point, you were bored enough to not necessarily care whether you'd be disturbing Ford's work or not when you went down to the lab. It was just last summer when he taught you how to get down there, as well as spilling more about his past. All of which you simply listened to unless he asked anything; it was better to listen and attempt to understand than say or do something that would make it worse.

Seems like he really wanted to get it off his chest too, be transparent with you; something you appreciated.

You were shaken out of your headspace when you heard the rustling of boxes from the lab, as well as some hushed but frustrated cursing. You didn't really recall a time Ford swore unless he was legitimately ticked off, the man made a valiant effort not to compared to his twin.

But they both had sailor mouths anyhow even if it was fitting.

"Ford? Are you down here?"

"Ah-! [Y/N]! What- what are you doing down here?"

You moved closer to him in an attempt to see what he was doing, even if the man looked a bit rattled to be found like this by you.

"What are you doing?"

"I asked first my dear."

Ford chuckled, shifting to hide something behind his back. You pouted at him and crossed your arms. He couldn't help but smile at how cute you looked doing that.

"Was looking for you, Dipper and Mabel are bored watching TV upstair anyway... sooooo- what are you doing?"

You smiled when Ford returned your inquisitiveness with a small laugh, showing you what he held in his hand. A pair of goggles?

"What's that for?"

"I was attempting to sort through which of my belongings I could still use among the ones I wish to discard. Inadvertently I ended up finding these, I think I could still make use of them."

You tilted your head at him as a silent prompt to continue, it took every bit of control from Ford not to laugh again. You looked like a curious puppy, though he figured he shouldn't say that outright.

"It's simply among the items I collected and kept with me through my time in the multiverse. Protective eyewear can be useful for many things."

"Huh, if you have that— does it mean you still have the rest of the outfit?"

Now it was your turn to think Ford was being cute, he just wordlessly blinked at you in surprise. Was your request really that odd? You'd barely seen him in any other outfit combinations, of course you'd be curious.

"I—... I think I do? Why do you ask?"

"Do you think you'd still be able to rock it like you used to?"

"'Used to'? Excuse me?"

"I mean, it's been a couple years... why don't you try it on again?"

Ford laughed once again from your teasing, the way you sassily tried to goad him on was entertaining in it's own right. He was a bit on the fence about the whole outfit however, especially due to the memories associated with it.

It's not that bad compared to some things he'd found though... maybe he could indulge you.

"Hm..."

"I-I mean, if you really don't want to—"

Your panicked stammering was cut short when a warm palm cupped your cheek, meeting Stanford's eyes as he pressed a chaste kiss to the crown of your head. He could feel your skin heat in up in his hand, hiding a cheeky smile in your hair as he held you there.

"I'll show it to you... as soon as I can find the rest of the outfit."

Ford couldn't help but smile wider when your cheerful laugh rang out; it's the best sound to ever have graced his ears in the time he's been alive. A bit surprising given how many things he's been exposed to, but he couldn't name another chime so pleasant.

"I'll hold you to that Ford."

"And I accept your challenge my dear."

YEAAAAH HERE IT ISSSS- TEXT THING CUZ WE NEED INTRODUCTION-

[tenth-sentence]

"I suppose, then, if you have never heard of Godfrey Staunton you don't know Cyril Overton either?"

"The Illustrated Sherlock Holmes Treasury" - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

[whats-in-a-sentence]

He sprang through a gate into a field, dragging the reluctant Pompey after him. We had hardly got under the shelter of the hedge when the carriage rattled past.

"The Illustrated Sherlock Holmes Treasury" - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

[forerussake]

Many-Coated Mayhem #1

(or, how many different fucking coats does Wu Xie own?)

So we all liked Tibetan Sea Flower, I know we did, but DID YOU ALL PROPERLY ENJOY THE MANY COATS IN THIS SHOW?

Because I sure did. When Wu Xie wore 6 different coats in the first 4 episodes I'm afraid it did something to my brain, and the result was me cataloguing every coat the man wears in all 32 episodes of this show. (Discounting his baby self in episode 1 I guess, bc I was lazy.) I'm afraid I have missed many an important piece of dialogue because I was too distracted squealing over a new coat appearance.

Honestly with how the show started I expected the final count (18) to be higher, but I guess that's what happens when your MC spends three quarters of the show in the same underground spaces. (Wu Xie at least had the good sense to not bring any unneeded extra coats on those trips. Good for him.)

If nothing else, this coat counting adventure once more provides proof for Wu Xie's love of layering the fuck up, which, in the climate most of this show is set in, is actually a smart decision.

Anyway, I counted all the coats, and now you have to deal with it. Note that I watched the show at 720p, so my screenshots are... functional at best.

Coats 1 & 2

This is a set comprised of a sand-coloured/light brown (depending on the lighting and colouring of the episode) overcoat + a fleece undercoat/hoodie type situation. He wears this when he goes to Dejia in episode 2.

This is a nice set to start with. The overcoat has many pockets and a hood with one of those little flaps to keep the rain out of your face. The fleece undercoat has a zipper that only goes half the way down, which may lead some of you to ask "but Eru, is that still a coat?" And yes. Yes it is to me. I have suffered too long at the hands of the popular rich kids in school wearing their Napapijri coats that only zip half the way down to not call this one a coat too.

This set is in fact so nice that Wu Xie decides to wear it again in episode 31, when he and Pangzi go back to the Spiritual Retreat.

This makes it it the only coat set that is worn twice! (Discounting, I guess, technically, number 12, but we'll get to that.)

Also a shot where he only wears the undercoat, so you can properly appreciate it:

I like this bit of coat continuity. The outfit Wu Xie starts this adventure in is also the one in which he ends it. ✨symbolism✨

Coats 3 & 4

This is a set made for colder climates, which at the time I thought made sense for the trip to Mosang and the Retreat in episode 2, until Wu Xie decided to wear coats 1 & 2 there as well in episode 31... Ah well... This set is comprised of a nice brown undercoat and a very fetching long blue wintery overcoat.

The overcoat is puffy but functional and comfortable. It is a dark blue on the outside, but the lining on the inside is green. Here's a shot for you to properly appreciate the blue colour though:

Isn't that gorgeous? Especially in contrast with his sand-coloured backpack. In hindsight I could've probably counted those too, because he uses at least 3 different ones that I can remember over the course of this show.

The brown undercoat is nice too. it has a collar that can be zipped up pretty high for extra insulation, and some (what I assume to be) velcro straps to tighten the sleeves around the wrists.

This is probably my favourite set of coats he wears in the entire show, which is a crying shame because after Zhang Haike kills him in it in episode 3 (or does he?) he never wears it again.

Coats 5 & 6

I don't know if Wu Xie's entire backpack for trips like these is just filled to the brim with coats, or if he gets Wang Meng to send him more coats by mail whenever he decides he wants a different one... Honestly, neither is a reassuring answer. Poor backpack. Poor Wang Meng. Wu Xie, please don't forget to bring a water bottle on your tomb adventures.

Anyway, coats 5 and 6 form the set Wu Xie changes into after the whole fiasco with the heads and the not-actually-dying in episode 4. It's comprised of a blue and grey undercoat that he starts out wearing on its own but is later supplemented with a thiqq puffy green-ish grey wintercoat.

As you can see, the undercoat has zippers in various places that I am not entirely sure are practical places for pockets.

The overcoat he wears for the first time during the bug hallucination sequence in episode 6, and I was briefly convinced that coat itself was a hallicination too that died a valiant death in the battle against the bugs, but then it showed up again afterwards.

Not visible in these shots is that it is a relatively short wintercoat that only about reaches down to his hips. Regardless, it must be soft in its floofiness, because clearly Pangzi likes to pet it (and his boyfriend who is wearing it.)

Coat 7

This is a white coat that is such pristine white Xiao Hua could've worn it. Underneath it he wears a funky little hoodie that I really can't get away with calling an undercoat, because it just isn't. It's a hoodie.

Wu Xie changes into this white coat halfway through the meeting with the Zhang siblings and Feng and his crew of mercenaries in episode 7, for no apparent reason. Maybe he senses that they will be leaving soon and decides he wants to be cold in the meantime.

He wears this coat during his and Pangzi's daring not-escape attempt, and then at the Zhang's base of operations in Dejia in episode 10 and onwards. (Sorry imaginary Xiaoge I almost cropped you out there. You have a nice coat too, but neither of you can beat Pangzi's coat above. He is the coat king.)

This coat has a layer of soft grey lining that confused me for a little while. At first I couldn't quite tell whether it was a separate piece of clothing or just part of the coat, but I think it's the second.

According to this screenshow from episode 21, this coat is apparently from a Korean brand called Kolon Sports.

...Do with that information what you want.

Coat 8

This is a simple black raincoat that appears in episode 9.

Wu Xie has apparently brought this coat all the way up the mountain in his backpack with the single purpose of exchanging it for Xiaoge's coat on the statue that he couldn't have known would be there... He has never worn it in this show. No one will wear it ever again.

Coats 9 & 10

This is the set he wears for the entirety of the Nilaisi tomb adventure starting in episode 11. It's comprised of a denim undercoat/hoodie thingy and a sand-coloured weirdly textured overcoat that I can't believe actually looks good on him.

The undercoat only zips (or velcros?) part of the way down, and he never closes the overcoat for what I assume to be fashion reasons. In a tomb. This entire outfit was very fashion-over-function, what with the black chunky sneakers he wears in place of a good old pair of hiking boots. IN A TOMB.

Coat 11

This is the simple blue-ish raincoat Wu Xie wears to party with the Zhangs in their Dejia HQ in episode 17.

This coat has reflective strips on the sleeves, and he wears it over a gorgeous blue knit jumper. He promptly gets stabbed in this outfit, so we never see either of these clothing items again, and for all that it's a nice coat that I would've liked to borrow from him, it's probably better that he never wears it again, because he also has the most intense mental breakdown in it that any on screen Wu Xie has ever had:

I still can't believe they actually got away with filming the thing that comes after this shot.

Anyway, this scene paves the way for some more ✨symbolism✨in the form of:

Coat 12

Xiaoge's coat. The one Wu Xie nabbed off the statue. We never get shown how that coat ended up draped over the statue, but I assume Xiaoge must've left it there at some point, for some reason. (Did he have a Wang Meng to air-mail him a different coat afterwards too? Probably not. He must've been cold on the hike back down the mountain.)

This is the point at which I realized my coat obsession just became plot-relevant and consequently went even more nuts about it.

It's a very simple blue raincoat that fits him decently, for all that he and Xiaoge probably should've worn different sizes. The sleeves are a bit short on him maybe, which amuses me. Wu Xie truly out there living up to his most lanky boy potential! <333

For some reason it's a different coat than the one imaginary Xiaoge wore in episode 10, because that would have been too much symbolism I guess. But I gotta give NPSS credit for actually setting this up and following through on it. Kudos for achieveing a writer's bare minimum!

Coat 13

This is the long grey wintercoat Wu Xie wears from episode 21 onwards, when they go up the snowy mountain to the Yinshaluo shrine, the Second Bronze Door and the Zanghai Flower field.

It's floofy and nice and just alround a good wintercoat, and he wears this lovely warm jumper underneath it.

Oh yeah, what else did episode 21 teach us? Keep you plot-relevant coats on!

Coats 14 & 15

I'm putting these together because they are not coats in the stictest sense, but, as my good friend @programmedradly put it: "It keeps him warm and looks very fetching." These are the nice blue robes he is given by the Yinshaluo people after they save him and the others from the storm in episode 28 and 29.

The first set is a lighter blue with a brown belt and some nice floof along the bottom. (Note also Feng sitting there like the high fashion model (and apparently horse whisperer) he is.)

Meanwhile the second set is more of a warrior get-up. It's a darker blue with extra layers and protective parts at the elbows and shoulders.

I take it back, this is my favourite "coat" he wears in the show. It's beautiful and he looks great in it and it's probably the reason he doesn't die from grenade-blast-to-the-face #363 so yay!

Coat 16

The black raincoat he wears when he and Pangzi go to pick up Xiaoge from horrifically traumatic monster daycare or whatever I don't know the lore the Bronze Door in episode 32.

He wears a grey hoodie underneath it, and some sort of tactical vest over it that might just be part of the coat. Fashion!

Maybe the fashion is why he and Pangzi forgot to take their backpacks with them when they dramatically walked off towards the outside world with Xiaoge at the end of this scene.

Coat 17

Coat 17 I'm not entirely sure is a coat but i'm counting it anyway. It looks like a shirt but it's more of a jacket. The fabric is thicker than a shirt would be anyway. He wears this when the Iron Triangle arrive in Yucun in episode 32.

I'm counting this one mostly to have an excuse to show you Wu Xie's ridiculous pants. Is that black (faux) leather???? Silly man.

Coat 18

The last one! It's this little wispy thin raincoat thingy he wears when Xiaoge asks him and Pangzi to go for a hike in the mountains around Yucun in episode 32. I had a different screenshot of it that was taken two seconds before this one when Xiaoge was still in the frame, but I thought his pretty face would be too distracting, and this is a coat post after all!

Now I hear you thinking "but Eru how is this one a coat and not just a shirt?" Well you see, when you look at it closely you can tell that there's elastic in the hem at the bottom, with one of those little plastic nodules that can be used to tighten it, and the fabric is a little shiny. Classic rain coat features! (Even though it doesn't have a hood, so it's also a classic case of fashion over function, but we're used to that with Wu Xie occasionally. Looking at you there, chunky sneakers he wears in the Nilaise tomb...)

Anyway, if you've made it this far I applaud you! That's all the coats adult Wu Xie wears in Tibetan Sea Flower... or is it?

You may have noticed this post is is numbered #1... Alas I cannot put more screenshots in this post, so stay stuned for a second Coat Post!!

If you're wondering how I'm still sane after watching this show through this lens instead of literally any other one. I am in fact not.