#the article is very short

[stuffeddeer]

rock band member dazai where he’s often in the media for drama between him and his previous ex band partner and you happen to run into him (anonymously!) on a chatting app. eventually his “personal conflicts “ he tells you about him and a ex friend start to align a lot with a certain famous singer’s tabloid scandals, so you bite the bullet and ask if it’s him or if he is just going through the same exact specific events dazai is. he ends up revealing his identity and you end up getting backstage tickets to his shows and he ends up just as obsessed with you as you are (chuuya is pissed that somehow that shitty dazai got a partner before him)

its u.

Dazai’s heart rate picked up at the two grammatically incorrect words that popped up in his notifications. You’d been so close to figuring it out for weeks; Was today finally the day?

wdym

Right: play dumb. There’s no guarantee you figured out who he is, so he just needs to stay calm.

Sure, week after week he’d tell you stories from his life that popped up in magazines and circulated around online the next day or so, always causing you to come back and flaunt it in his face that your favorite guitarist had done it “bigger and better” (even though the stories were the exact same). You frequently pointed out similarities in them (being him and… himself) to the point where he almost saved and told you several times, but something always held him back. Maybe he should just finally rip the bandage off.

A photo message came in. It was a screenshot - a screenshot of a picture Dazai had sent you. In the background had a bright red circle around something small. He zoomed in, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. Couldn’t you just type it out? What a hassle - oh.

Yeah, he should’ve listened when his manager told him to pick it up and display it properly.

The image was a bird’s eye view of his hand, flashing his fresh coat of nail polish and his rather messy wooden floors (and his cute orange halloween socks). Nothing too damning upon first glance. Sure, you’d mentioned that your favorite band’s guitarist had painted his nails the same color, but that was mere coincidence, right?

No. Because this lazy moron couldn’t put things away, in the top left corner of the photo - the area circled in red - showed an opened package with the platinum record his band was gifted for their most popular song. Why would he have that if not a member of the band himself?

He looked up from his phone blankly, staring at the package still nestled on the side of his room. The only difference from the photo is that it had been pushed slightly to the side since then, stopping him from tripping over it. What a stupid mistake; Dazai had always been much more careful than this (except when he wasn't).

dude

u let me gush to u ab URSELF????

im embarrassed

Dazai smiled. Well, at least things weren’t awkward.

It had been a few months and you and Dazai were happy to talk in person now that he didn’t have to hide his face. You’d been backstage at many of his shows, meeting his bandmates and spending time in person. It had honestly been so much fun, but sometimes Dazai missed the cat and mouse game he’d been playing when you were unsure of his identity - back when you texted him rumors and articles about his own life, saying how crazy it was that your favorite artist went through the same things as him.

He’d woken up earlier than he wanted to due to the myriad of calls blowing up his phone. “What..” He grumbled, not even bothering to check caller ID. “Who is this?”

“You asshole! You got a fucking partner before I did? And they’re hot, too! No way they settled for you,” Chuuya continued to grumble while Dazai put him on speaker phone, tuning him out. Whatever he was yapping about didn’t matter once he noticed a notification from you.

do u know this guy? he seems to be goin thru the same things u r…

A link is included, leading Dazai to an article with a picture of him and you. The first thing he notices is how smitten he looks with you, causing him to blush very faintly as he smiles to himself. Is that really what he looks like around you?

Rockstar Dazai Osamu Finds New Fling - Or Maybe More?

More, definitely more.

“Are you listening, asshole?” Chuuya shouted from his speaker. “How’d ya get a partner before me?”

Dazai smiled, saving the paparazzi shot onto his phone. “My height, definitely.”

[will-it-be-finished-who-knows]

"Friendliness Training"

Written by Ka'hop Arczon

Any human who wishes to travel the stars (legally) must first participate in and pass "Friendliness Training". We were led to believe this is not the official name of the program, but every human we interviewed refused to call it anything else.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As you may know, humans are deathworld predators, incredibly dangerous with a love of chaos, and as such possess many behaviors terrifying to other species. However, they are aware of this and how it affects their relationships with other species and seem to actively work against their societal norms and natural instincts to make others comfortable. Further proof of humans' compassion and the strength of their interspecies pack bonding, though that is not the point of this article.

To ensure that no human causes a diplomatic disaster and can work calmly and effectively with other species, the human governments agreed to have a standardized course and test that all space-faring humans must pass: the so-called "Friendliness Training". Through this training, humans learn to suppress some of their more threatening behaviors such as "smiling", the bearing of teeth that can mean anything from joy to malicious intent, and is very difficult for other species to correctly interpret. Until first contact with humans, the bearing of teeth was considered a universal sign of hostility, and this perception is not easily changed, as it is ingrained in many species' instincts.

At any rate, the universe can rest assured that humans are aware of their unintentionally threatening behaviors, and are voluntarily undergoing training to put those around them at ease.

[doverstar]

was today years old when discovering that the eleventh doctor wears leather trousers. his trousers are made of black leather. Black leather with the ends rolled up and I. have no idea what to think-

[xiangqiankua]

It is rice planting time in north Taiwan, and I realised I was at a loss for rice cultivation terminology, but never fear, there is no shortage of information for the curious. Some select vocab from the article (which is largely informative photos): 秧苗 yāngmiáo / seedling 稻作 dào zuò / rice cultivation 綠油油 lǜyóuyóu / lush green 茁壯 zhuózhuàng / healthy and strong 縱谷 zòng gǔ / longitudinal valley (an elongated valley found between two almost-parallel mountain chains) 插秧 chāyāng / to transplant rice seedlings 稻穗 dào suì / rice ear 稻米 dàomǐ / rice crop 綠肥 lǜféi / green manure (a crop specifically cultivated to be incorporated into the soil while still green) 插秧機 chāyāng jī / rice transplanter 拔除 báchú / root up, pull out (of weeds) 纍纍 léiléi, pr. lěilěi in Tw / heaps of [fruit]- in this article they write 結實纍纍 but the more common phrase seems to be 果實纍纍 (or 累累), fruit hanging heavy on the trees 稻穀 dàogǔ / unhusked rice 發芽 fāyá / to germinate, sprout 功虧一簣 gōngkuīyīkuì / an entire enterprise ruined over one small thing 收割 shōugē / to harvest, reap 休耕 xiūgēng / leave farmland to lie fallow 催芽 cuīyá / to promote germination 秧盤 yāng pán / seedling tray 耕耘 gēngyún / to plow and weed 覓食 mì shí / to forage for food (of animals) 耕作 gēngzuò / farming, cultivation

[normal-thoughts-official]

dear argentines,

what the hell do you think "carioca" means

sincerely,

a brazilian

[movietonight]

While there are things to criticise mash for and those conversations are important to have some of what I read can be explained very easily by reminding yourself

It was a TV show

On a budget

From years ago

From America

Written by a variety of human writers

Who used characters and plots to tell stories

Within a certain number of minutes

[knickynoo]

Finding old articles about Michael J. Fox is so funny because it's all

(that last one especially gets me because it's like: Here's an actor who can set a good example for kids. But. But hey. You know what else?? He's short. So kids are the only ones who can--literally--look up to him. Hehehe)

I mean, kudos to him for taking it in stride because the majority of interviews I've come across from the 80s take time to make note that "Hey, Michael J. Fox is very short. Just 5'4". Very small. He's a little guy. Did we mention that he is not tall, and is, in fact, quite short?? Because he is."

[perenlop]

thinking about the animal literature class i took last spring that was pushed as a class all around symbolism but it ended up being an ARA focus and my professor and i were talking about my black beauty paper and she said something like “you dont think of all the ways the author is actually promoting animal harm though… like why doesnt she criticize the use of carriage horses at all? does she think its ethical for animals to work for humans instead of alternative means?”

well besides the obvious bullshit there… THIS BOOK TAKES PLACE IN THE 1800s!!!!!! THERE WERE NO CARS!!!

[istherewifiinhell]

posting this to clear out the tab. thing that made me laugh so hard

For months, Canadian trade regulators have pondered a feature of a famous Transformers toy that has amused fans for years: Is the dastardly Megatron a robot or is he the replica pistol that he can be rearranged to resemble?

-

The classic Megatron's case received a boost from the unlikeliest of sources when a Royal Canadian Mounted Police forensics lab measured him in pistol form and determined that he was too big to closely mimic a Walther pistol.

"It does not exactly resemble a firearm as it is approximately 30 per cent larger in size than an actual Walther, model P-38," a Mountie forensics specialist wrote in a report for the CITT deliberations.

[childish snickering] i see. his tools too big.

"The item is shipped as a Transformer robot and remains in the robot form until someone changes it to another form, in this case a Walther P-38 pistol," Mr. Bell wrote in his appeal.

He wrote that when laws and regulations on replica firearms are taken at face value without considering intent, "we would have to consider prohibiting wood, plastic or metal [from entering] our country, since all of those items can be transformed into something else."

[politely applauds the philosphical rhetoric] so true. the nature of materials is that we transform them into items. just like megatron.

[clare-with-no-i]

I was thinking earlier about squibs and JKR’s flawed rendering of disability in the HP books — and how, sort of in spite of her, exposition about the anti-squib nature of the magical world might actually serve as a sound allegory for social modeling of disability irl — so I perused the internet and found this really interesting academic article about Filch, Arabella Figg, and the quiet pervasiveness of abeism which underlies the series. 

I particularly enjoyed this passage at the end, which I think really drives home what can be so radically good about fanfiction. highly recommend reading

[luckykittysshowerthoughts]

You should do an entire analysis of micheal, you seem to see the bigger picture about his character and I'm genuinely curious on your thoughts and analysis

Hey, apologies for not getting to this ask sooner. I was kind of putting it off because this is frankly an overwhelming question. I mean, I have so much to say about him. I've made, what, seven full essay posts now? There's too much to put into a single post, especially without repeating things I've already said. It's too daunting, at least for now. I think I'm just going to continue with the more topical posts, so feel free to send asks about any specific aspect(s) of his character you want me to delve into.

If you're looking for a more general, surface-level and evidence-based overview of his character to give "the big picture", I highly recommend checking out his wiki page. I'm actually largely responsible for writing, updating and maintaining his page, so pretty much everything you'll see there is from me.

You'll also find specific citations for lessons, devilgrams, etc for things I've previously used as evidence in my posts.

[chronomally]

I'm rewatching The Birdcage and there's something about the like incisive satire of queer comedies from the '90s that are so thoroughly unconcerned with the feelings of cishet audiences

[thetimemoves]

ENOUGH ALREADY

[hooved]

WHO THE FUCK IS FINFIN

he's your best friend

[gothicprep]

patrick tomlinson has to be the most tormented man alive, and I hate that I can’t crack jokes about it, because if someone asks me “who is that” I’m gonna need like 2 hours to explain all the lore