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aspoonofsugar · 3 years

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You said Historia’s ending is not a happy one but for me it clearly is the case (concidering snk universe). Historia has been pathetic the whole arc but in the end she takes advantage of Mikasa’s efforts by finally having the family she wants with a little girl she clearly loves and a husband she grow to care about and a job (of course not a perfect one nor one she wanted but at least she’s not doing it knowing she’ll be eaten). It's just my opinion of course

Hello anon!

What I meant is simply that this dychotomy where Mikasa got nothing and Historia got everything is imo simplicistic and creates a conflict between the two characters that is not there in the story.

In universe, Historia and Mikasa have zero problems with each other. They have shown to be friends.

Surely Mikasa is happy Historia is safe and not forced to curse herself and her children. Similarly, surely Historia mourned Eren just like Mikasa did. Since Mikasa is on Paradis and is actually one of the traitors it is also possible Historia helped her stay hidden. Finally, probably both Historia and Mikasa miss their other friends.

Historia is not the only character guilty of horrible things btw. Reiner and Annie too have actively killed innocent people and even their friends. Armin, Mikasa, Jean and Connie took part in a terroristic attack against civilians. Reiner was trying to help Marley destroy Paradis and Armin and the others helped Eren activate the Rumbling (even if they did not think he would have started a genocide of course). The chapters after the Rumbling are about all the characters regretting their roles in the current situation.

Not only that, but they are all tempted to give up. It is only through both Hange and Gabi that they manage to get a grip on themselves. And this is meaningful because Hange is a mentor and an authority figure, while Gabi is the future. The idea is clear. They had to stop Eren not to betray their past and to ensure the sake of the future.

What makes Historia different from the other characters is that she lacks a chance of redemption in-story. All the others in the end come together to fight Eren, while she has no role in this. Tbh I think this is partially because in the last arc she is regrettably framed not as an active player, but as a victim to save.

Both in the story and in Mikasa’s dream Eren refuses to sacrifice Historia. Not only that, but the SC all hope to free her from the destiny Zeke proposed for her. Historia is always framed as miserable and unhappy. Her destiny as a baby factory is in a sense implied to be just as terrible as the Rumbling is. The Rumbling is the worst case scenario for the world. Historia’s destiny is the worst case scenario for an individual. This might be why the birth of Historia’s daughter is juxtaposed to the baby saved by the crowd. Saving one child is not enough. It is necessary to save both.

This is why in the end she survives and is shown to love her daughter. It is because in a sense Mikasa has freed history (the Coordinate is gone, so the future is not twisted by it anymore). People are now free to build a better world and a better history. So, Historia is free herself. She can be better and work towards a better future.

The fact she loves her daughter is actually positive. It is what makes her different from her mother. Her mother regretted having Historia and despised her. Historia is instead shown loving her daughter. She will take care of her and build a better world for her. So, even if she doesn’t get a chance of redemption in the final arc, it is still implied she is working towards one in the finale.

Now, does it mean Historia’s plot-line is well written and perfect? Not at all, there is much to be desired. Honestly several interpretations of it are possible, but imo whatever is the meaning Isayama wanted to give her character, it should have been explored more. Just more focus on Historia herself would have accomplished much imo.

Thank you for the ask!

#snk #historia reiss #asksfullofsugar #anonymous

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scribbleb-red · 5 years

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Hello Ghost (An Afternoon Andreil AU)

After college, the Minyard-Hemmicks sell up in South Carolina and Andrew is signed by the Baltimore Bombers.

He buys a house on the outskirts of Leakin Park, it's pretty grand but he has a vision of inviting his family to stay, one day, perhaps.

The house is also more than a bit run down (which is why Andrew figures it was a good price).

He starts to fix the place up. New paint. New floors. New windows.

But then weird stuff starts happening.

Food he was sure was in the fridge disappears. Stationary and paints will vanish from almost under his nose. Tools go missing only to reappear somewhere else. And clothes too (he is sure he brought his favourite black hoodie with him from SC, and Aaron swears he hasn't got it...).

He starts to hear noises - not loud, just like shuffling, sliding, sometimes like a door is creaking open.

Andrew has nearly done the ground floor when he thinks he's found the answer - navy paint paw prints - all across his freshly stripped and varnished wood floor.

He won't lie, they're kind of cute. The creature must have knocked over the feature-wall paint.

But then, one day after practice, he comes home and takes off his headphones and he's sure he can hear humming. Whatever animal the pawprints came from, he's sure most of them won't know Bohemian Rhapsody.

He creeps up the stairs, it's pretty tatty up here still. The only room he's really bothered is his own. There are rooms he's barely opened since he arrived - particularly the one that looks like it once belonged to a kid (the yellow clown wallpaper *has* to come down soon).

The humming is coming from the main bathroom.

His hand hovers over the handle.

He presses down.

The door swings open.

He swears he sees a flash of red. Blue eyes in the mirror.

But when he pushes inside, nothing and no one is there.

"The actual fuck??" he mutters.

The actual fuck is right.

Over the next few weeks Andrew becomes increasingly paranoid. Summer has bled into autumn and he is pretty sure he's being haunted.

There is a ghost in this house. There is a ghost in these walls.

He talks to Aaron who just shrugs and tells him to call an exterminator if he has rats in the walls. Andrew is sure there aren't rats in the walls. That's not what he's hearing. Rats don't have nice tenor voices that hum Queen and Blue Oyster Cult through the piping.

He talks to Nicky, who freaks out because omg Andrew you have to get out before the ghosts turn violent Andrew, you don't know what kind of ghost it is Andrew, what if you piss it off by accident Andrew. Maybe you can get an exorcist Andrew. Or salt? Isn't salt bad for ghosts?

He calls Kevin, who frowns down the line.

"Are you okay, Minyard? Not getting rattled now you're in the pros?"

No, Andrew is not rattled. He's doing fucking great for the Bombers.

"Then get some sleep and... maybe call Bee?"

Great so Kevin thinks he's mad.

He calls the estate agent last. Though really he should have called them first.

"There's something wrong with this house," he says. "Tell me what's wrong with this house."

"Oh dear." The estate agent is very anxious. "I'm so sorry, Mr Minyard. I thought everyone knew."

Turns out everyone except him did know. Andrew's grand house that he got for basically pennies was once the home of the Butcher of Baltimore. Andrew missed the memo though, too busy getting his brother clean and surviving the mood-meddling, court-prescribed drugs at the time.

"I'm so very sorry," says the estate agent. "I'm afraid there's nothing we can do now, but I do know a good geomancer who could feng shui the property for you."

Andrew slams down the phone.

So he has a ghost in his house.

Probably a murder ghost too.

Fuck.

He decides that if he's going to get rid of his ghost, he's going to have to figure out what exactly the ghost is taking, when and why. He starts keeping track in a little notebook. He quickly notices something even weirder than the missing stuff though.

The ghost takes food - not a huge amount - but enough each week. It's mostly fruit and vege, the occasional protein bar. If Andrew makes smoothies from fruit, the ghost will take some. And sometimes the ghost will make smoothies itself and leave half for Andrew.

The ghost launders any of the clothes it borrows. Not everything is returned. But socks will miraculously reappear. So will tshirts and sometimes jumpers. The black hoodie has not made a reappearance. But his woollen winter jumper does, with the elbow holes freshly darned.

The ghost showers. Andrew has noticed more than once that the bathroom mirror is misted and the towels damp when they shouldn't be.

The ghost leaves red hair behind, long curls of it.

The ghost is probably not a ghost. Or if they are, they're a very very corporeal one.

He decides maybe - just maybe - he could lure the ghost out.

After a shower one day, he writes on the misted mirror: HELLO GHOST.

The next day, the ghost leaves a reply: HI HUMAN.

Andrew frowns and scrubs the note away.

He goes out to buy clothes for the ghost - no need for them to nick his favourite stuff if they have their own right?

He leaves the bag in the bathroom and writes: THE BAG IS FOR YOU.

The next day he sees: THANK U.

The day after: CAN I HV A TOOTHBRUSH?

Andrew buys one, even though the ghost writes like a fuckboi.

When he comes home from a long weekend of away matches, the toothbrush is used and wet. There's a Smiley on the mirror in the the mist. Andrew scowls. And he realises the ghost is near - because there's a shuffle, a sigh & for a second he's sure the shadows behind him move.

Andrew and the Ghost fall into a rhythm.

Sometimes when the ghost needs something there will be a note on the bathroom mirror. Sometimes when the ghost is thankful, they'll leave homecooked left overs in the fridge for Andrew, presumably made when he's at practice.

Aaron asks him one day if he solved his rat problem.

"It's a ghost problem,” Andrew tells him. “But yes, something like that."

For Christmas, Andrew goes to visit Nicky and Erik in Germany.

It's three weeks away and he's so anxious about the flights, he forgets about his little ghost in the walls.

He packs in a hurry. He turns off the lights. Turns down the heating. Locks the doors.

The holiday itself is good. Nicky is thriving now he's back with his boyfriend and Andrew almost feels bad that he kept Nicky from being this happy for so many years. Almost. Because he wouldn't trade those years with Nicky and Aaron for anything.

He goes home, content.

As soon as he opens the front door, he knows something is wrong.

It's freezing cold. So cold his breath is vapours on the air.

There's a smell too, stale and fetid. Like old fruit.

And that's when he sees him, the ghost.

The ghost is a boy, but he certainly looks half dead.

He's sprawled on Andrew's new sofa. He's all bones. Emaciated to a point where he looks childish. His skin is sickly pale. His hair is dank and plastered to his forehead. His eyes are closed.

Andrew drops his bag and the ghost's eyes flutter open, just a slither before closing again.

The ghost is sick. Incredibly sick.

Andrew calls Aaron.

"My ghost is sick," is the first thing he says. "He has a fever. I don't know what's wrong with him."

Aaron doesn't pretend to understand, he just lists off ways to bring down a fever. "I can be there in the morning," he tells Andrew. "Just --"

-- Aaron stops short. He can't tell Andrew to keep a ghost alive can he?

Andrew does what he can. He lifts his ghost up into his arms, wrinkling his nose at the sweaty, sick smell rolling off him. He's far too light and far too small.

Andrew tucks him into his own bed.

He finds a can of fizzy lemonade and brings it upstairs to the ghost. He's barely stirred but as Andrew cracks open the can, the ghost lets out the tiniest of whimpers and it breaks Andrew's heart.

Carefully, he nudges the ghost awake and helps him to drink some of the lemonade.

"Bring up his sugar levels. Make sure he has plenty of fluids. Anything cold to bring down his temperature."

It takes nearly an hour for the ghost to drink the lemonade.

Andrew doesn't sleep that night. Doesn't stop applying cold flannels. Checks his temperature every 30 minutes.

"You better not become a real ghost, Ghost," he warns the boy in his bed. "I want my fucking hoodie back."

Aaron arrives and it’s a good thing he's just finished his rotation in the ER because Andrew's ghost is a young man with one of the worst cases of pnuemonia he's seen in a while. He calls up a professor and explains why he needs a prescription for a variety of medications.

He's able to get them within the morning and they set Andrew's room up to be a hospital bed minus the bleepity-bloopety machines.

Andrew finally sleeps when Aaron forces him to - but only for a couple hours before he's back at the ghost's side.

Two days go by.

Ghost wakes up.

For all that he looks like he hasn't eaten a full meal in his life, his eyes are the most striking Andrew has ever seen in his life. They are coldest blue, like a winter's sky.

"Hello Ghost," Andrew says.

"Hi Human," replies the ghost.

Ghost recovers slowly. He sleeps a lot. Andrew cooks for him. Makes him eat soups and broths and slowly reintroduces solids.

Turns out when Andrew left, he'd locked Ghost inside with only enough food in the cupboards for a week.

Ghost managed to make it last 12 days.

But with the heating off, Ghost had shivered his way into sickness.

Andrew asks him how the hell he's been haunting his house when he's clearly not a ghost. Ghost frowns.

"The walls," he says. "He built the walls too thick so they could hide escape routes."

"The Butcher?"

Ghost nods. He's so pale. Andrew presses because he knows there's a secret here and Ghost finally admits: "He was my father."

The pieces fall into place as Ghost recovers. His name is actually Nathaniel but every time Andrew uses it, Ghost flinches.

Andrew moves Ghost out of the walls where he used to hide and into the house.

"Why didn't you leave after your father died?" Andrew asks one day over hot chocolate and coffee.

They're curled up on the sofa, their feet overlapping but nothing else.

"Because he didn't die," Ghost says. "He was killed."

And out comes the story of how Ghost lived in the house as his father's prisoner. How he was trapped and how he was punished the few times he tried to escape.

There are scars, Andrew has seen them. They make sense now.

"My mother escaped though. With millions that belonged to my father. A couple years ago my father killed her... my uncle came in retribution. He killed my father. I was there." Ghost's voice is thick and raw. His eyes won't meet Andrew's. "He said he'd come back for me."

"He never came back," Andrew fills in the next line.

"No."

"But you stayed."

"I've barely been outside before. I never... I had rations stored and I figured, it was safe here at least, now he was gone."

"And then I arrived."

"Yeah. And it was kinda nice. Being your ghost."

Andrew chest feels warm and full. "You're still my ghost," he says after a minute.

And it's true. This boy from the walls is going to haunt Andrew forever - and he doesn't even mind.

Andrew learnt to live in increments, one breath at a time, one minute, one hour, one day. He'll teach Ghost to do the same, over years.

They'll find a human name for Ghost. They'll settle on "Neil", a name untainted by the father who hurt him or the mother who left him.

They'll cook together in the evenings, brushing against each other in whispers.

They'll fall asleep together on sofas and then, later, in their shared bed.

They'll move house together one day, when Andrew transfers to another team.

One day Andrew is lying in bed next to Neil, tracing patterns over freckled skin and taut muscles.

"I meant to ask, what was with the pawprints that time? With the paint on the floor?"

And Neil looks puzzled, then smiles. "Maybe it really was a ghost."

THE END

#andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #neil is a ghost #or is he?#Andrew might be being haunted #But only Nicky believes him #Neil haunts the walls #ghosts #ghost story #The Haunting of Baltimore #Soft I think #I'm never sure is something is soft or sad tbh #I listened to a lot of MFM stuff in the wall episodes and this happened.#aftg

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makiema · 5 years

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Hello! What makes you ship Levi and Eren? (always curious about how people get into ereri)

Hi there, anon! I wish I could’ve answered this briefly but you’ve asked me something that I could honestly ramble on about forever. I’d try to be precise but I’m afraid it’d still be quite long because I don’t have the time to summarise, so bear withe me please >.

Okay so first of all, I used to be more into Eremika than Ereri in the beginning and the precious Eremika moment from Chapter 50 owned my heart. Back then the 13 y/o me didn’t get shit about Levi and Eren’s platonic canon relationship. But the popularity of Ereri was overwhelming and even though they were far from being my OTP I still shipped them in AU settings mainly because the fanfics were excellent. Also, at that point of time, I was more invested in the Naruto fandom and SS was my only OTP. In fact, I didn’t even know about the Visual Novel until late 2015 or early 2016 (I don’t remember exactly) which made me really get into Ereri. Reading the VN actually changed my whole perspective on Ereri and made me realise the depth of their canon relationship. When I re-read the manga again after that none of their subtle moments were lost on me and that’s how the ship started growing on me. Since then I even began picking up on a lot of parallels, symbolisms, etc. associated with them and all of that collectively went into becoming the reason why Ereri is my OTP.

I probably cannot think up of everything that makes me ship them at one go. Also I have my internals next week and Im losing my mind. Anyway here are some of the reasons that immediately came to mind when I saw your ask:

• Levi equating Eren to “The Tyger” : The VN concluded with the first two stanzas of Blake’s poem “The Tyger”. The poem is taken from The Songs of Innocence and Experience and the entire volume focuses on two things : the transition from childhood into adulthood and the existence of both beneficial and malevolent forces in human beings. So in the novel, Levi’s understanding, acceptance and even admiration of both the humane and the monstrous potential in Eren is commendable : “A monster with perfect, fearsome beauty; that inspires awe” Also, Levi acknowledges Eren’s will that “cannot be made to surrender” and his drive for freedom that “people living like birds in cages won’t get”. This shows us how Levi realizes that Eren’s mental maturity is not that of a normal 15 yo; that his “experiences” have made him into someone much more gritty, resilient and strong-willed for his age. “The Tyger” here is the agent of free-will and the poem further emphasises on free spirit by incorporating references to mythological figures who’re deemed as humanity’s heroes, for instance, “seize the fire” refers to Prometheus who is mankind’s hero because he stole fire from Zeus. It is said that because of him mankind could gain knowledge ; that mankind could step out of the bounds of ignorance ( See the parallel with Eren who said how ignorance is the biggest obstacle to freedom in Chapter 112 ). Another hero alluded to in the poem is Icarus who grew his wings of freedom and attempted to reach the farthest point (dangerously close to the sun) even though he was burned in the attempt (parallels with Eren’s whole attitude of ‘no matter what kind of hell awaits me I’ll keep moving forward’ ). Yeah so, that’s how deep Levi’s understanding of Eren runs.( Can you imagine the entire arc of Eren’s character was foreshadowed in Levi’s thoughts about him?) To me understanding is the most important factor when it comes to a ship so, I think Levi’s pov in the VN is the biggest contributor to their development.

• The way Eren looks at Levi : Idk how cliched this sounds but yes, the way he looks at Levi honestly gives me life. Be it in the Forest of the Giant Trees, or in the Reiss Chapel or in the Marley Arc, his eyes say it all. Add to this his signature shaky way of saing “Captain?”, idk if it’s only me but that just carries so much feeling, so much angst, so many unspoken emotions right there. If Levi’s thoughts on Eren made me fall in love with Ereri in the first place then Eren’s body language when it comes to Levi made me fuckin smitten over them (i kid u not honestly this ship is one of the very few things that actually give me the will to live)

• Hope and Strength : Honestly, I love Levi and Eren’s roles as humanity’s strength and humanity’s hope because this actually speaks volumes about their relationship. If Erwin gave Levi’s strength a dimension then Eren gave his strength meaning. Their roles in canon show their inter-dependence. After all, what is strength without hope? I don’t remember who first pointed this out, but someone said that this is the very concept the Survey Corps logo alludes to. The Wings of Freedom are shown as blue and white because royal blue represents strength and white represents hope. So the Wings are symbolical of what Levi and Eren individually stand for as well as signifies their dependence on each other.

• Levi’s role as Eren’s guardian : I love him both as Eren’s protector and his mentor. (oh also let’s not forget Eren had a little crush on him,,how adorable 🥺)

We’ve seen Levi giving it his all to protect Eren multiple times. And when he couldn’t protect him during the Battle of Trost because of his injury we see him clenching his fists in frustration. Again, in RTS we see Levi quite baffled when Erwin orders him to protect the horses and not protect Eren. Also in the RTS when Eren got flung on top of the wall, Levi was visibly concerned and then when Erwin couldnt come up with a plan that’d guarantee their survival, he quickly suggested that BOTH Erwin and Eren flit from there. This goes on to show how Levi thinks Erwin and Eren are EQUALLY important for ensuring humanity’s survival. It is evident from here that his liege and his mentee both belong on the same pedestal and he’d do anything to save them. Levi similarly comes up with an abrupt suggestion again in Ch 112 to save Eren when the Soldiers informed him that the higher authorities plan on having Eren eaten. Even though he clearly disapproved of Eren’s actions in Liberio, even though Levi himself always adhered to rules and discipline, he still had faith in Eren and he’d never accept such a ridiculous order, even if it came from Pixis. (plus he remembers the first time he met Eren which sort of makes us realize that Levi still sees himself as Eren’s protector🥺)

Next comes Levi’s role as a mentor in Eren’s life. I think his words of advice to Eren is an important factor that made him the man he is today. Levi encouraged him to believe in himself, he acknowledged his willpower, appreciated his relentless drive for freedom and even goaded him on to make important choices by himself. The recent happenings in the manga made a lot of people say that Eren follows the principle of “the end justifies the means” but originally, to quote Levi: “nobody can dictate you on what is the right path or what is the wrong one till you arrive at a certain outcome resulting from your choice”. I think one of the major reasons why Levi kicked Eren in the Marley arc again was because the outcome that Eren caused (at least according to Levi and the SC) was making Paradis the enemy of the whole enemy of the world and also a mountain of civilian deaths. This is just head canon but I think Levi was mainly disappointed because Eren didn’t seek his approval (unlike in the Reiss Chapel incident where he urged Levi to have faith in him before jumping into action of his own volition). Him comparing Eren with the underground thugs also makes me assume that he was genuinely hurt because he thought Eren has become complacent to the point where he doesn’t see Levi as a mentor anymore. But, right after his voice trails with the “you too..”, we see Eren looking up at him with the same beaming eyes. Curious why he’d do that at that instant. Also, during Serum Bowl, Eren used his height as the trump card to tower upon Levi. It was the only time he actually defied Levi and he did manage to look 100 percent domineering. But, post time skip Eren grew in leaps and bounds and he could easily repeat that but HE DID NOT. In fact, he utters his usual “Captain..?” and his eyes also have the same look. So maybe he still sees Levi as his inspiration but he cannot express that because he’s in a bind and has to act distant and cold with everyone. After all in Chapter 121, in the memory panel, we did see him recalling that very moment when Levi first advised him on making independent choices. His role as the mentor in Eren’s life is therefore once again reinforced by Isayama and I think that adds substantially to their wonderful platonic dynamic. ____________xxx___________

I probably couldn’t fit them all and even this is a terrible briefing. It is all so disarrayed and incoherent. I didn’t even get the time to attach pictures. Ugh, I’m so sorry anon ;-; I wish Uni would spare me some time to rant properly about my precious babies >.

#snk #ereri #riren #levieren #asks #thank you for the ask!#this is so shitty but i hope you'll accept this anon #i'll write a proper appreciation next time #also let me know why you ship them!#and have a nice day #<3

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queenofcats17 · 5 years

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Snatcher Fails At Being Human

I’m diving back into writing a story for @teenytinyhatkid because of this. And also this. This too. So here’s Snatcher being a disaster.

Snatcher didn’t have many friends. He tended to keep to himself most of time, trying to convince himself that it was better that way. Of course, Hat Kid had decided that he needed to get out more, so he’d started getting dragged to the dock to meet with her little friend Bow. That was where he’d seen her, the red-haired woman who sold flowers by the dock. Well, Bow said they were flowers at least. Snatcher had never seen flowers like the one this woman sold. Still, he found himself captivated by her. She was so pretty, with her hair as bright as the coral reefs and the funny scales on her face. Not to mention her sharp tongue and quick wit. Snatcher had no desire to enter any kind of romantic relationship, but he did find himself wanting to be friends with this strange woman.

“You should talk to her!” Hat Kid suggested when he accidentally let slip his thoughts one day.

“It’s too dangerous, kid,” Snatcher replied almost immediately. “Humans are unpredictable.”

“But Bow’s not unpredictable.” Hat Kid insisted. “Not all humans are bad.”

“We have to be careful.” Snatcher leaned back against a rock and folded his arms, signaling that the conversation was now over. Hat Kid narrowed her eyes, puffing out her cheeks in a pout.

“You’re no fun.” She huffed.

She continued to bring up the strange flower lady every day since she knew it was possible to wear Snatcher down through sheer perseverance. One day, she brought it up when she and Snatcher were meeting with Bow.

“You mean Peony?” Bow asked, tilting her head to the side.

“Do you...know her?” Snatcher tried not to sound too eager.

“I mean, kind of?” Bow shrugged. “We talk sometimes because we’re both here a lot.”

“Is she...nice?”

“Why are you asking about her?” Bow narrowed her eyes, leaning closer with a suspicious look on her face.

“He has a crush on her!” Hat Kid proudly proclaimed.

“I do not!” Snatcher sputtered, immediately going bright red. “I just want to pet her hair and sniff her flowers!” Upon realizing he’d said that out loud, he groaned and hid his face in his hands. “Please pretend you didn’t hear that.”

When he finally removed his hands and looked up, both Bow and Hat Kid had giant grins on their faces. He’d known that showing weakness was a bad choice. Now they were never going to let him live it down. Almost immediately, he tried to flee. But Hat Kid caught him by the arm and refused to let go.

“You need to talk to her!” She tried to drag him back. “Bow can help! She knows humans!”

“And there’s that thing that Moonjumper used to become human to visit me when I was sick,” Bow added. “So you could use that to talk to her as a human!”

“It’ll be great!” Hat Kid insisted. Snatcher stopped trying to escape. He hadn’t considered that. If he made himself human for the duration of his meeting with the florist, she’d never know he was a mer. It would be fine.

“Fine.” He said. “But if this goes south, I’m bailing. Got it?”

“Got it.” Both Hat Kid and Bow did mock salutes.

In retrospect, Bow probably should have known that Snatcher had absolutely no idea how to act human. Moonjumper could blend in better due to his experience with humans, but Snatcher was absolutely clueless. The first thing he did upon being turned human was to just set off toward the dock, completely naked.

“Hey! No!” Bow shrieked, scrambling after him. “You can’t just walk around naked!” Snatcher turned back to her, brow furrowed and head tilted to the side.

“Why not?”

“Humans don’t do that!” Bow stamped her foot, throwing a pair of pants at his head.

“That’s stupid,” Snatcher grumbled, but he put on the pants nonetheless. It took a few tries for him to get them on since he wasn’t used to having two legs, (he fell on his face quite a few times during this process) but he finally got them on.

“Happy?” He asked, putting his hands on his hips.

“...Sure.” Bow would have preferred to get a shirt on him too, but she had a feeling that wasn’t going to happen.

“Okay. Let’s go.” She gestured for Snatcher to follow her. He did not do this, instead deciding to wander away from her in order to inspect the dock. The first thing he did was steal a fish from a fisherman’s cart.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?!” The fisherman bellowed, although Snatcher paid the man no mind and took a big bite of the fish.

“I’m so sorry.” Bow apologized to the fisherman before rounding on Snatcher. “You can’t just steal from people like that!”

“Was hungry,” Snatcher mumbled through a mouthful of fish guts. Bow tried not to gag at the sight. Unfortunately for her, that wasn’t going to be the last thing Snatcher stole (or tried to steal). He was drawn to every shiny thing on the dock, picking them up and trying to take them before being yelled at by both Bow and whoever he’d tried to steal from. It didn’t help that Snatcher could only really speak broken English. He was clearly frustrated by this, which usually ended with him spitting out whatever human curses he knew and going back to the fish he’d stolen. He also bit people. A lot.

By the time they reached Peony, Bow was exhausted. Her voice was hoarse from yelling at Snatcher, she’d been apologizing to everyone, and her wallet was considerably lighter because Snatcher had broken quite a few of the objects he’d tried to steal. Peony looked up when Bow entered her periphery.

“You look awful.” She said. “What happened?” Then she noticed Snatcher standing behind Bow. An adult man, shirtless, without shoes, eating a raw fish. An adult shirtless man without shoes eating a raw fish who, upon seeing her, stared at her with what she almost thought was a lovestruck expression. Nope. Not creepy at all.

“Uh...Who’s your friend?”

“This is Snatcher.” Bow managed a nervous smile. “He’s, um, trying to make new friends.”

“I...see...” Peony leaned back slightly. “He’s certainly got an...interesting fashion sense.”

“Yeah...” Bow’s smile looked a little forced now as she internally screamed.

“You’re pretty!” Snatcher blurted out, shoving the half-eaten fish toward Peony.

“Why...Why is he holding out a fish to me?” Peony asked. Her eyes were narrowed, both in confusion and slight distrust.

“Gift,” Snatcher said, smiling. Oooh. His teeth were still all sharp and weird. His smile honestly looked kind of horrifying. But he seemed so proud of himself. Humans liked food, right? Fish was food. She’d be happy to get this food!

“Thaaanks...” Peony grimaced. “But I’m good. I just ate.” Snatcher let his arm drop. He looked like a kicked puppy.

“I’m sure she appreciates the gift.” Bow assured him. “But huma-, um, people don’t usually eat raw fish.”

“Why?” Snatcher took another bite of the fish. “Fish is good.”

“Not raw it isn’t.” Peony said. “Unless it’s sushi.” She said the last part quietly enough that Snatcher missed it.

"It was a nice gift.” Bow awkwardly patted the small of Snatcher’s back, as it was all she could reach. Snatcher was disappointed that the flower lady hadn’t wanted his fish, but if humans didn’t like raw fish he’d try another route.

“I like...your flowers.” He tried once more. “They’re...pretty.”

“Thanks.” Peony relaxed a bit. “Do you want to buy one?” Snatcher reached out, his hand hovering over a red one that reminded him of Peony’s hair.

“I’ll pay for it.” Bow sighed heavily, dragging out her wallet. She’d almost burned through all the spending money her mother had given her.

“Well, if you’re the one who’s paying, you get a discount.” Peony gave her a wink. “Can’t be ripping off one of my best customers.” Bow looked up, almost on the verge of tears.

“Thank you.” She squeaked, throwing herself onto Peony. Peony laughed and hugged the little girl, patting her back. While she did this, Snatcher picked up the flower he’d been eyeing and put it in his mouth.

“Whoa!” Peony’s eyes widened.

“What? What did he do?” Bow whipped around. The stem of the flower was still sticking out of Snatcher’s mouth. There was a petal stuck to his cheek, mixed in with the scales and general....fishiness.

“We don’t eat flowers!” Bow scolded him.

“I mean, they’re edible.” Peony shrugged. “It probably doesn’t taste good though.”

“Doesn’t.” Snatcher spat out the stem. Bow sighed heavily, playing with the hem of her sweater in an attempt to assuage her nervousness and general frustration with the mer.

“So, this guy wants to make new friends, huh?” Peony watched as Snatcher went back to looking curiously at the flowers. “So why’d you bring him to me?”

“He wanted to talk to you.” Bow explained. “My friend said he’s been watching you, but he’s been too shy to come actually talk to you.”

“So, what? He’s been stalking me?” Peony raised an eyebrow.

"He’s just....awkward?” Bow struggled to find the words. “And he said he wants to be friends with you? He’s not interested in a relationship or anything.” She and Peony looked at Snatcher. He was trying to eat the flowers again.

"He seems pretty weird.” Peony said.

“He’s definitely weird.” Bow started fidgeting with her sweater again. “I’m really sorry.”

“Well, I guess he seems harmless enough.” Peony shrugged. Harmless was not exactly the word Bow would use to describe Snatcher, but at least Peony seemed to kind of like him. Maybe this would get Snatcher to be less weird and isolated.

“So...Could I bring him back?” Bow asked hopefully.

“Sure.” Peony said. “But maybe get him a shirt next time.”

“I’ll...see what I can do.” She wasn’t sure how well the suggestion would go down with Snatcher, but she’d give it a try.

Suddenly, she heard some panicked cawing. Snatcher had discarded his fish and was now trying to wrangle a seagull, presumably to eat.

“HEY! NO!” Bow ran over. “DON’T DO THAT!”

Peony stifled a laugh. Bow certainly knew how to pick ‘em. She worried about that kid sometimes. Bow always seemed to get in trouble because she was too nice for her own good. At least someone seemed to be looking out for her. Peony remembered that scarred man she’d seen Bow with. He seemed nice.

“SNATCHER! SPIT IT OUT!” Bow shrieked, trying to drag Snatcher back. Peony sighed. She might as well help.

#a hat in time #fanfiction #mer au #the snatcher #the florist #bow kid #hat kid

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writinanon · 6 years

Text

Young Love

In this one Rook had a husband, the lovely David, and though they divorced they retain feelings for each other. David is a sweet, gentle loving man. He’s gonna get eaten alive by the Seeds.

Rook and David had gotten married when they were teenagers, young and believing they knew everything about life. They tried to make it work for several years but found themselves in different places and quietly divorced but agreed to remain friends.

The Resistance of Hope County and Project Eden’s Gate were at a tentative truce because there were hellish monsters eating people in the night. These monsters weren’t part of Joseph’s Collapse and they were killing indiscriminately making them a problem for everyone. Rook and some of the Whitetails had managed to free a group that was taken by the monsters. Among them was her ex-husband.

“So, you got taken by monsters? I always thought the Cult got you.” She muttered as she was patching him up at the Station. Faith and Joseph flickered on the fringes, helping the Peggies that had been freed with the others. David laughed.

“Just my luck, right? There’s a crazy cult and I get nabbed by monsters.” He grabbed her hand and looked at her. “Thanks for saving me. Again.”

“That’s two you owe me, kid.” She teased, feeling heat rushing into her face. He grinned back at her and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles.

“Deputy could you lend a hand? We need to reset the bone in his leg and Jacob isn’t here to help hold him down.” Faith called cheerfully and Rook sighed, gently pulling her hands free.

“Duty calls.” She sighed and gave him one last smile before settling beside Faith to help poor man that had his leg broken.

Rook chuckled softly as some of the children gathered around her listening to her retellings of Fairytales and magic.

“Are you gonna be the Knight that saves Lady Faith, Ms. Deputy?” One of the little girls asked.

“Uh…”

“No way she and Lord John are gonna be together ‘member? He said he gots the church all ready for her.”

“That wasn’t exactly…”

“No way she should marry Mr. Jacob because he’s big and strong and he can protect Ms. Deputy!”

“I think the Father and Ms. Deputy should be married ‘cause he loves her and just wants to make her happy. He says so all the time.” They continued to argue over who she should marry when one of them suddenly looked up.

“Why don’t you just marry them all?”

“Yeah! We can marry you to Father Joseph and Lord John and Lady Faith and Mr. Jacob! Then you can stay with us forever!”

“Let’s go ask Father Joseph if we can marry him to Ms. Deputy!” They rushed off while she was still frozen in place.

“What just happened?”

“It looks like you just got yourself engaged to a bunch of crazy cult leaders via children.” David muttered and she jumped.

“Jesus! Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“Sorry.” He smiled sheepishly. “You wanna get outta here for a bit? I found this little pond not too far away and there’s still a whole afternoon’s worth of daylight. Not that I’m scared. I’ll be in the sacred protection of Ms. Deputy.” He pointed at her with finger guns.

“Ass.” She shoved his shoulder but followed after him. It would be nice to have some breathing room other than Jerome’s church.

David was used to watching Rook, she really was a sight to behold. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Even when covered in blood and arguing about going back into the nest to try to get the other hunters, that had a few months earlier been trying to kill/capture her, and save them. Pratt, Grace, Jacob, and the Sheriff weren’t budging on the matter calling it a suicide mission. This did not put her in a good mood. He knew she’d need time to cool off and almost reached out to stop Faith and John as they tried to follow her but she was quick to snap at them.

“I don’t feel like being drugged or drowned. Why don’t you fuck off and go pretend you want to save people somewhere else?” She hissed before turning on her heel sharply and storming off.

“Mark me down as horny and scared.” Sharky muttered.

“When she’s upset you gotta let her be mad for a while. Or she’ll bite your head off.” David sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

Rook stomped into the river, dove under, and screamed. She surfaced, took a gulp of air, and dove back to scream again. She surfaced again and slapped the water around her. Once she’d tired herself out she slunk back to the river bank and settled into the field. She ignored the fact that Joseph had followed her and witnessed this act of childishness. She ignored everything but her frustration over the fact that there were people she couldn’t help, people she couldn’t save. She panted and glared at the horizon.

“Your anger is justified.” She listened to him shuffle closer and sit next to her. “However, we cannot afford to lose you.”

“I’m not worth any more then they are.” Her voice was rough, her throat hurt. She half wanted to scream again but didn’t.

“You are worth very much.” She glanced at him and then flopped backward onto the grass.

“Why are you so hellbent on saving me?”

“The Lord works in mysterious ways.” He hummed and started to sing softly. Rook huffed and threw her arm across her eyes and felt her anger slowly loosening its grip. Joseph’s voice was stupidly pleasant to listen to.

Rook was enjoying a quiet night not out on patrol, she was forced to relax by Jess and Adelaide with Grace dragging her to the Spread Eagle. She wouldn’t actually drink enough to full on impair herself, but she had a pleasant buzz, enough that she let John sit next to her and didn’t antagonize him deliberately. She was a touch worried that the more time she spent in the company of the Seeds the more she started to like them.

“And with the Power of Yes so many doors open.”

“Oh my god.” She laughed softly. “John that is like a very sick version of one of David’s marriage proposals please tell me you haven’t been asking for tips? I never actually said yes to any of his proposals; I was the one who asked him when the time came.” He blinked at her and she took a drink of her ale and shook her head.

“Wait a second David ain’t lyin’? You were really married?” Sharky announced loudly.

“Say it a little louder Sharky, I don’t think the whole county heard you.” He grinned and sucked in a breath, but Adelaide shoved a moon pie in his mouth while smiling brightly at Rook.

“Now I know you know better than to ask a lady about her ex’s honey.” She glanced at him frostily. “Shame about it though, you and David are cute together. He seems like the perfect domestic housewife.”

“David is a good guy.” She looked at the last dregs of her drink and shrugged. “We were better friends at the time.”

“And now?” John’s voice was very controlled, it put Rook on high alert she looked over at him warily.

“As of right now I don’t have time for a relationship with anyone. Monsters to fight and a County to Liberate.”

“When this little rebellion is over then.” He smiled at her, they were nose to nose. “After you get the courage to say yes.”

“John if I ever say yes it won’t be willingly. I’ll never give you the satisfaction.”

“We’ll see now won’t we Deputy?”

“Can you two just fuck already? This weird tension is giving me an awkward boner.” Sharky had eaten himself free. Rook reeled back from John’s space and blamed the heat in her cheeks on the alcohol she’d consumed before getting up.

“Well I’m leaving before this gets any more uncomfortable.” She announced and speed walked out the door.

David found Staci with Jacob and Rook. He wondered if he should be concerned that the Deputy was constantly half a step behind Rook or Jacob, he was never without one of them. He wondered how he was going to get him to go see the doctor when he was spotted. Jacob’s piercing blue eyes zeroed in on him and he tried not to shiver. The utter disgust and disapproval in his stare was unnerving and David had to wonder what he did to earn that reaction from the Soldier. Luckily Rook took notice of him and grinned waving from where they were standing. A Judge and Boomer were cuddling on the ground next to their respective masters.

“Yo.” She called and he waved back.

“Hey you guys mind if I borrow Staci? Doc says he hasn’t been in for his checkup.” Staci’s eyes widened and he looked nervously from Jacob to Rook and back.

“Actually I haven’t seen Doc Brown in a while either, mind if I join you?” Staci relaxed a bit but kept his back ramrod straight.

“Please tell me you’re not going to make references to cheesy ‘80’s movies the whole time?” He teased.

“Nah only like four fifths of the time.” She smirked. “Mind watching Boomer for me Dave? Don’t want him getting a makeover.” She shot Jacob a look and he grinned at her.

“You can always teach an old dog new tricks.”

“I’d rather he not run around with a red cross on his face and without his tail. How else is he supposed to show he enjoys ripping a gun out of a Peggie’s hands and bringing it back to me?” She smirked before turning on her heel and Staci fell into step with her. “Thanks David!”

“I didn’t agree to this!”

“You’re the best! Please don’t murder him!” She yelled back and David had a feeling she wasn’t talking to him for half of that. He glanced back at Jacob and was once more having a death glare sent his way. Once Rook and Staci had completely disappeared down the hallway Jacob finally spoke.

“The Strong don’t mate with the Weak.” He said ominously. “My Deputy doesn’t need any more Weakness than I already allow.” Before David could reply Jacob whistled and headed off with the Judge following him. Boomer stayed beside David but looked sad that his cuddle partner had left them.

“Rook is in trouble boy.” He confided to the dog, resolving to talk to her about this once she wrapped up with the doctor.

Rook was leaning back in Jacob’s chair reading something while Staci was being examined by Dr. Brown, who only shared a name with the character since she was a young woman in her forties and not a crazy man in his fifties, actual medical doctor not a half-cracked scientist that was right.

“Peaches ain’t bit the Doc yet?”

“I haven’t heard any screams so progress.” She glanced up at Jacob as he stood in the doorway. “From your lack of gore I take it David is still alive. Thanks.” She looked back down at the book in her hands.

“For now the Weak like him have a purpose.” He stepped into his office and edged around his desk to stand behind her. Her shoulders tensed and she was watching him out of the corner of her eye.

“Oh yeah? And what is that exactly?”

“Cannon fodder for the Strong.” He leaned over her and she shallowed her breathing and kept still. “You shouldn’t let Weakness like that distract you Pup.”

“According to you I am Weak.” She spat his words back at him. “Besides David has me to be strong for him.” She turned and glared at him defiantly.

“You have Weakness, but you aren’t Weak. There’ll be no need to Cull you once this is over. But if you want to keep playing this game I can show you who is stronger.” They continued to stare at each other until there was a yelp from down the hall. “Sound like Peaches finally snapped.” She sighed and stood but wasn’t able to leave until he allowed her to. She frowned at him and he smirked at her before letting her pass to rescue the doctor.

David caught up with Rook as she was heading to Faith’s Bunker to check in on the children and make sure that their food levels were still holding steady.

“Hey can we talk?” He asked, not really having it be a question but knowing better than to try and corner her in confrontation.

“Sure walk with me.” She motioned him to follow her. “What’s up?”

“So I think that Jacob Seed is obsessed with you.”

“I’m aware.”

“You’re a – seriously? This doesn’t bother you at all?”

“What am I supposed to do about it? We need all the capable allies we can get right now and afterward I’ll go back to trying to arrest them.”

“Rook the more you’re around them the more you’re in danger.”

“What would you have me do David? Stop fighting? Stop trying to free Hope? I can’t walk away from my home.”

“What the hell is the Sheriff doing? Or that Marshall? Shouldn’t they call for the FBI or the National Guard? Why does it have to be you?”

“Because no one else was strong enough, no one else managed to escape!” They stopped and were staring at each other. “Look I get it that this is all new to you and it freaks you out up I’m not going to stop fighting for Hope and I’m not going to turn away good help in our time of need, even if it means I have to suck up my pride.”

“And when Jacob decides you’re too nice, too weak, and turns on you? What then?” David felt tears in his eyes and he knew he shouldn’t get in her space, but he couldn’t help it. Rook was putting her life in danger and he couldn’t stand it. He could never stand to watch her think so little of herself. “I love you. I can’t bare to watch you get killed for the good of others.” Her angry eyes vanished and she stared at him in shock.

“David?” She whispered softly. They were so close to each other.

“Deputy!” Faith’s voice rang out and then she was latching herself to Rook’s arm. “When you weren’t on time we were getting worried.” The children that Faith had, the orphans of the county, circled around them and effectively created a barrier between them.

“Sorry we got caught up in conversation.”

“Oh? Is it serious? If you’re nervous I could help you walk the Path, David. The Father’s Wisdom reveals all and will help you settle.”

“No thanks.” Faith smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Later then? I’m sure Joseph would love to have you among the Flock.” It sounded like a threat. David faintly realized it was a threat. Rook growled softly and glared at Faith.

“Leave him alone.” Faith giggled and snuggled closer to Rook’s side.

“When all the Monsters are gone we’ll talk more about Bliss and the Path.” She assured and tugged Rook away. David frowned but followed. He wasn’t going to abandon her and he was more than willing to fight for the woman he loved. Even if it was against two of the Seeds.

#far cry 5 #oc david #he's a sweet marshmallow #i didn't anticipate liking him and now I want them to end up together and get away help #these are parts one and two combine because I'm slowly getting the hand of this I think

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foundcarcosa · 6 years

Text

cccxxiii.

Is there anything that you and your friends simply can’t agree on? >> I mean, probably? We’re all different people from wildly different backgrounds with different experiences and paradigms and ways of understanding the world, so of course there are likely to be things we just don’t agree on. I try not to make a habit of focusing on those things unless they are directly detrimental to our ability to be harmonious with each other.

Who were your last 3 Facebook messages from and what do they say? >> One is from Sparrow’s mother, which was annoying for several reasons. One was me and Elle talking about my OC, Logan Luxurian (sometimes I think about reverting him back to being the Host of Greed or Wrath because “Logan Avaritian” and “Logan Iritian” both sounded way cooler and less like a stupid porn name than this one does...) and her OC, Siran, who are forever schmoopily in love. And the last was from one of my cousins, who is one of those older people on facebook that send chain IMs and post about Jesus all the time.

Who was the last person to comment on your Facebook status? What does the comment say? >> The last comment I got was Jay saying “same” to a comic I posted.

Is there a song that always makes you cry whenever you hear it? >> You bet your sweet fuckin ass there is. More like 50 songs, tbh. I’ll give you a few examples: I Know It’s Gonna Happen Someday (David Bowie), These Things (Fuel), Unchained Melody (Righteous Brothers, and only that version), Stoppa mig Juni / Stop Me June (kent), Nothing As It Seems (Pearl Jam) -- okay I’m stopping here because just thinking about that last one and why my relationship with it is the way it is fucked me up just now.

When will you next go out drinking? >> God, I wish I fuckin knew.

What are 3 reasons you’ve smiled or laughed most recently? >> A particular survey answer I read, a meme I saw on facebook, and hearing Sparrow leave her room because she’d released the toilet demon and couldn’t sleep. (The half-bath’s toilet runs intermittently for like an hour and a half after flushing, because fuck this apartment complex, that’s why.)

Who was your last Tumblr message from and what does it say? >> It was from one of my mutuals with the url to her personal blog.

Can you remember who your closest friend was 10 years ago? Do you still speak to that person? >> I don’t know that I had any close friends in 2008. Maybe Anubis? I don’t even remember who-all was in Xibalba at that time... oh, wait, I think Vengeance was still around.

Think about your ex, your crush, or the person you’re currently dating. Were you attracted to that person as soon as you met them, or did the attraction develop over time? >> I mean, I’ve met most of the people I dated in recent memory on the internet, so no, it’s not like an instant thing.

Is there anything you’ve wanted to do recently, that you haven’t been able to? >> Nothing specific that I can pinpoint. Aside from just getting out of here.

Will you be spending the night with the last person you kissed? >> I mean, we live in the same apartment.

Where was the last place you went on holiday? >> New Orleans.

Do you turn your phone off at night when you go to sleep? >> No.

What are the initials of the last person that texted you? >> SC.

Who was the last person to post on your Facebook wall/timeline? What does the post say? >> Oh, I don’t know. Most people don’t post directly to my wall, they just tag me in things.

Which do you use the most, smiley faces, kisses or hearts? >> I use various kinds of smiley faces the most.

Describe the last person who put their arms around you. >> I don’t even know how to “describe” people. Describe what?

What’s the closest thing to you that’s red? >> I’m not sure and I’m not willing to turn the light on just to find out.

What are the 3 objects closest to you? >> Various stuffed animals. Also, my phone.

Is the last person you texted older or younger than you? >> Younger.

Are there any conversations going on in the room right now, that you’re not involved in? >> No.

What is the sexual orientation of the last person you talked to? >> In meatspace, bi. In headspace, uh...... lmao

Describe the last strange dream that you recall having. >> I’ve forgotten what my last remembered dream was, period.

What is it that you want, more than anything else in the world? >> I don’t know. I just... I don’t know.

What’s the last thing you said to the last person you kissed? >> I don’t remember.

Have you ever kissed the last person who Facebook messaged you? >> No.

Have you ever had an ask on Tumblr that was too embarrassing for you to answer? >> No. That’d be interesting.

List the last 5 things you had to eat. >> A McChicken, french fries, a veggie burger and broccoli slaw eaten out of the bag like chips, chicken enchilada soup, and the rest of my Voodoo chips.

Do you like dark, milk or white chocolate best? >> Dark chocolate is the only chocolate I like at all.

Is your handwriting neat? >> It can be.

If you had to choose, which would you give up - your phone or your computer? >> I’d give up my phone way easier than I’d give up my computers.

What’s your honest opinion of the last person you had a conversation with? >> My honest opinion of Can Calah is that he’s the most important person in my life and I can’t deal with anything in this world or in this brain without him.

Would you feel okay about going to your parents for advice about sex and contraception? >> No.

Is there any kind of food or drink that you used to love, but now hate? >> Probably, but I can’t think of it when prompted.

Do you have any moles, ‘beauty spots’ or birthmarks? >> I mean, maybe. I’m not entirely sure.

Think back to four months ago. Were you single, or in a relationship? >> I was in relationships.

If you’re in a relationship, what is it that you love best about the person you’re with? If you’re single, are you looking for someone? >> Oh brother.

Have you slept in a bed with the last person you kissed? >> Yes.

If the person you miss came into the room right now, what do you think would happen? >> first of all HOW in the PLUPERFECT FUCK did you manage a spatial-contortion trick like THAT (and can you teach me)

What’s the worst lie you’ve ever told anyone? >> I don’t know.

Where’s the weirdest place you’ve ever kissed someone? >> On a balcony of an abandoned house...? Probably.

Do you and your sibling(s) look alike? >> No.

Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? >> Yes.

What’s your favourite hairstyle on the opposite sex? >> I don’t care.

What’s the closest thing to you that has glitter on it? >> I don’t think there’s anything glittery in this room. I don’t like glitter around me because of how contagious it is.

Has anyone ever played a prank on you? What happened? >> I don’t think so.

Do you tend to go with your head or your heart most of the time? >> I’d prefer not to think of emotions and logic as being separate impulses. It’s a synergistic system.

Do you like sweet or salty popcorn? >> I don’t much care for popcorn, period. But there’s that dark chocolate-drizzled salty kettle corn kinda stuff that this one company makes that I will definitely eat too much of in one sitting.

What are you going to do when you’ve finished on the computer? >> If I’m finished on the computer it means I’m either switching to my phone or going to sleep, real talk.

#surveysofsamedi #surveys

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ecodweeb · 7 years

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Delivering Jason's 500e to South Carolina

Over Memorial Day weekend, my friend Jason bought this robins egg blue Fiat 500e. When he drove his Mercedes C250 up to Raleigh, he asked me a lot of questions about living with my electric Smart car for a year. He told me that if he could get into one for under $200/mo, it would be saving him money and it would save his a hefty over mileage fee on his Mercedes lease. I asked him what he thought about Fiat's, and he said he liked them, so on Sunday we went to Westgate Imports which had 15 used 500e's on the lot. He fell in love with a $9,998 low mileage 2015, which he bought and I agreed to deliver it to his home (380 miles away).

I had my route fully planned: Tanger in Mebane, Havana Phil's in Greensboro, Mallard Creek Park and Ride in Concord, Lowell County Library, overnight in Columbia at my friend's house, then a charge at Fountain Inn before making it to Columbia, SC. Each location was between 70 and 80 miles apart, well within the range abilities of the Fiat. The initial stop went as planned, Tanger was not busy and I was able to plug in quickly. I was reading Paul Orfalea's autobiography Copy This!, and grabbed a tea from one of the restaurants before taking off for Greensboro. This is where I hit a snag. I'd used Havana Phil's charger back in April when I drove my Smart ForTwo Electric Drive Cabriolet to the Greensboro Odyssey event. However, Phil's single-plug ChargePoint was giving a charging error on the Fiat. I won't lie, I had a moment a panic...had the on board charger failed? I pulled out my phone and found that the Greensboro Coliseum had installed a ChargePoint dual plug station just a few weeks ago. I had 20% power, so I was able to get there easily.

As I was plugging in, a maintenance guy in a truck drove past. 10 minutes later, as I'm reading my book with the AC on, four maintenance guys roll up on a golf cart and ask me a million questions about the car. They'd never seen anyone use the charger, didn't know how it worked, and couldn't believe I was driving this car 380-miles using free charging infrastructure. The local's recommended Stamey's Barbecue for lunch, noting that President Bush had eaten there. The food was good, and they didn't rush me from the counter after I finished my food and camped out reading my book for an hour.

My next charge wouldn't be until Concord, at a park and ride. I had one staff member inquire about the car while I was waiting. Keep in mind, I'm spending 3 to 4 hours at each location to recharge this car. I had one more charge stop before I'd reach my overnight in Greenville, which was the Lowell County Library in Belmont, NC. Due to the crazy traffic, I took back roads to get from Concord to Belmont. This was the only time I've ever seen an EV charger that was placed on a sidewalk. It was truly the strangest location, almost an after thought. However, I wasn't the first car to use it. I was really glad it existed, because I would not have made it to Greenville otherwise.

The drive to Greenville was not smooth, it was late at night and I missed an exit and had to take a longer way to my destination. I was really scared, because the battery had been at 0% for at least two miles. I got to my friends street and couldn't find his house. Finally, I managed to get to his home and plug in. I'd been on the road for right at 12 hours at this point. My friend had swapped over a 6R20 plug for me, but the circuit wasn't upgraded to be a 20A 240v, so I had to charge on Level 1 speeds. That was OK, as I planned to get a full sleep and only needed to go 20 miles for my next charging stop at Fountain Inn.

This was the second most annoying stop behind the Park and Ride because there was nothing to do. I had to wait an hour for the Subway to open, on a Saturday, so I could get breakfast. However I only needed 2.5 hours here to make it to Jason's house. I left Fountain Inn and drove down 26 at highway speeds with the AC and Cruise Control on. I arrived at Jason's house with 30% battery leftover, and used my charging adapters to fully charge the car from his oven's power outlet before he got home. When we got home, he drove me in the Fiat downtown and we located all the charging stations he would be using. He treated me to a meal, and then dropped me back off at his house so I could wait for my friend Nate to pick me up and take me back to Raleigh. It was quite the adventure -- and not something I'd want to do frequently. However, the fact that it could be done is what's important.

#blog #fiat500e #roadtrip #driveelectric #chargepoint #driverconversion #blogpost #evadventures #2017

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imaginesnkdorks · 7 years

Note

Reader and Erwin where she's a cadet in the 104 but she's a couple years older than Erwin and all of them. The had a relationship during the time they met and they get married she pregnant and he gives her and the child a bunch of diaries or journals that tell his life and but during the battle with the beast he dies so the child grows up without a father but wants to be exactly like him

The story ur writing a role to take with the reader x Erwin I made a typo she’s not older than Erwin but she’s older than the cadets she’s 20

“A Role to Take” PART 1

Pairing: Erwin X Reader

Genre: Angst

Warning: Violence; mentions of death; long read

Words: 2270

[Part 2 ] [Part III] [Part IV]

[A/N: So, this was a tough one to write. I didn’t want it to feel rushed so I decided to cut it into two to three parts. Will update the next parts probably this weekend :D - mod max]

[EDIT: Made Reader younger :D]

Anotherwedding, hmm? I sighed as I walked home. Everyone my age is getting married –people I used to play with when we were little. It’s not like we’re beyondmarrying age – we’re just in our twenties. In fact, I just turned twenty. Stillyoung, but not quite. The tragedy of two years ago made everyone realize how wecould just die anytime. Most decided it was now or never, and eloped with theirsweethearts.

Whatabout me? It isn’t like love never presented itself. It’s just that I have adifferent priority. That is looking after my ill mother. People ask me if I’mhappy like this, and I always answered yes. I do get lonely, sometimes. But Ilove how rewarding it is to feel useful, and to be able to help my mother.

Still, being my mother’s caretakercame to an end. And even though I’ve been expecting this to happen eventually,I was devastated. I have no one. And honestly, my life lost its direction. Idon’t know what to do.

I live in Ragako Village, in thesouthern part of Wall Rose. It’s a quaint little town and I love how peacefulit is, despite being close to the edge of the wall.

“Ah, (Y/N), done with your chores?”Mrs. Springer asked me the moment I passed by her house.

“Almost.” I answered, smiling to thesweet woman. “I heard a commotion at your house this morning, is everythingalright?” At that, she wore an expression only a pissed off mother could pulloff.

Letting go a puff of air, she began“Connie is planning to enlist. That boy is worrying me to death.”

“Oh? Surely, though he isn’tplanning to join the Survey Corps?” The Survey Corps is the most dangerousbranch of the military. Ever since the fall of Wall Maria two years ago, therewas a spike in people enlisting.

“Goodness, no. He wants to join theMilitary Police.” Hmm, the military police? That’s the branch that takes careof the inner district. That’s far from titans, so if Connie get in, he’ll beliving a comfortable life. Though, I understand why his mother is worried –people can die even during training.

We exchanged a few more words,before I promptly said goodbye. I entered my house … alone again.

I hate to admit this but I don’tknow what to do with myself. I need to take care of something – or someone. Mytalk with Mrs. Springer sparked a plan in my mind, and I’m shaking justthinking about it. Not of fear, but of excitement. I believe I haven’t feltthis my whole life.

The plan? Watch over ConnieSpringer, of course. And like him, I entered the military. I don’t haveanything to lose, anyway.

“Did my mother ask you to do this,(Y/N)?” Connie asked me, while we were on our way to camp.

“Hmm, no. I literally have nothingelse to do.” I told the him.

“Oh. You wanna join the MilitaryPolice, too?” He asked me, flashing a toothy grin.

“I haven’t decided yet. We’ll see.”I can’t tell him that I’ll join whichever he joins now, could I?

“Okay.”

We arrived at the training camp, andwas given our uniforms and cabin assignments. That’s when I parted ways withConnie. I’m quite thankful that there are a number of young adults and adultswith us – see, not only teenagers are trying to enter the military. Thanks tofood shortages, enlisting was a sure way to keep food coming. Meaning, therewould be a lot of breadwinners and even parents here. After changing into ourissued uniforms, we got in line to meet our instructor, thus beginning our lifeas the 104th trainees.

Two years passed in a blink of aneye. Turns out, I don’t really have to worry about Connie. The kid’s prettywitty, if I do say so myself. Other than that, all I can say is that I have aknack for this. I spent most my life doing mundane housework. I don’t eventhink I’ve run at all! But this – using the 3DM gear, fighting whether by handor blades – is something that came quite naturally. Was it due to pent upfrustration? I finally found a safe way to let it all out? Maybe.

Graduation is almost here, andeveryone is thinking seriously about which branch to join. I’m relieved thatConnie is still aspiring to join the Military Police, but I’m worried. There’sthis one kid who absolutely detests titans, Eren, and I think he’s slowlyinfluencing a bunch of other kids to join the Survey Corps.

“What about you, (Y/N)?” Mina askedme.

“Huh?” We are currently at the topof the wall, cleaning.

“Which branch are you joining?” Sheexplained.

“Oh. The Survey Corps, I guess.”

“Woah. Really?” It was Eren thistime. That’s the kid who hates titans. It’s understandable why, though. Hismother was eaten by one right in front of him. No wonder he’s so messed up.

“Why?” It was Connie who asked me.Why, indeed?

I shrugged. Months into training, Idecided that I’d join the SC whichever branch Connie joins. The other two arerelatively safer than the SC, so there won’t be any need to worry. Besides, Ifeel like that’s where I’d be most useful.

“What about the rest of you?” Iasked them. The conversation took off, and it turns out that Eren did influencea bunch of them. Even Connie. That made me raise a brow, and Connie sheepishlyshrugged it off. Ugh, this kid’s soft.

We got quiet as we focused more onour task. I can’t help but hum a tune. Cleaning is as easy as breathing for me,after all. I’m sure I’ll ha –

Booom!

“What the –?” Thunder? “Titan!” Atitan! A titan appeared right in front of us … It happened all so fast!

“Gahhh!” A gust of wind threw us alloff the wall.

“Samuel!” I think it was Sasha, shejumped and did something. I didn’t see because my eyes were on the gate – orwhere the gate was supposed to be.

“A breach! Titans are going to getin!” I yelled, in a panic. The hell of five years ago would happen again! Wecan’t let that happen!

I jumped off, closing the gapbetween me and the gate. “Titans are already walking in?” Unbelievable. We didn’teven have time to breathe, they’re already invading! I looked up to mycompanions to try to regroup. Samuel’s passed out, with Sasha holding on tohim. Mina and Thomas seems unharmed. Connie is frozen, eyes locked at the gapwhich was once the gate, and Eren was nowhere to be found.

Booming sounds can still be heardfrom the top – is Eren fighting the colossal titan? Hnghh. I don’t have time tothink about that. I turned back to the gap, and there are at least seven titansalready in here. I can’t kill them all. We need back up!

Adrenaline was rushing through mysystem – this is what we’ve been training for!

It took us two days to fight titans,seal the gap and clean up everything. It was a blur full of tears, blood anddeath. Many among my batchmates perished – sons, daughters, parents … dead.

This event opened my eyes in manyways. We aren’t safe – we were never safe. It seems that titans gave us thehundred years of peace. Now that it’s over, they’re slowly picking us off onewall at a time.

Luckily, we managed to seal thegate. In a twist of fate, a titan saved us. Ironic, I know. A Titan protectedus from other titans. That Eren boy transformed into a titan. I don’t know thefull details yet, though. That’s another irony, right there. Eren was probably theone who hates titans the most, yet here he is. Able to become a titan,apparently at will. That kid must be feeling horrible about that.

We are currently cremating whatlittle we were able to recover of the dead. It was tough identifying most. Itwas a tragedy – as bad as any could everbe. I think I should be worried. Well, worried about something personal, and itisn’t about my safety. I loved the battle. My flesh tingles at the sheerthought of slicing titans. I’ve never felt more alive!

I think I finally found my life’spurpose – to rid this world of titans.

You could say that I’m an oddball.Most people are in shock. Poor Connie – he’s inconsolable. Everyone is. We areall quietly watching the pyres when Jean spoke up.

“Hey, guys …” Needless to say, hehas all of our undivided attention.

He turned to us, and he obviouslyisn’t taking this well. Which, I’d say is normal given the situation.Especially since a close friend of his passed away. “Have you decided whichforce you’re joining?” He asked, yet he didn’t let any of us answer before heshared a shocking news. “I’ve made up my mind …” he couldn’t stop shaking as hecontinued, “I … I … I’m joining the Survey Corps!”

That’s shocking. Jean was veryadamant in joining the MP, yet here he is, declaring that he’ll join the SC.After that, we sunk back into silence – not really. Cries of sadness are heardall around.

It’s the day, the day that theSurvey Corps’ commander is going to talk to us graduates. He’s the first oneamong the commanders who’ll try to recruit us. I guess he’s the first one,since the other commanders think that if they go first, there will be no oneleft for the SC.

I was leaning against the wall, withothers who are rather attached to mein the loosest sense of the word. Also, Connie seems to be sticking closer tome ever since the battle at Trost. We were minding our own business when Jeanwalked up to us.

“Jean, you’re really joining theSurvey Corps?” I couldn’t help but ask. This sudden change of heart of hisbaffles me still.

“Yeah.” He curtly answered.

“Why the sudden decision?” Sashaasked. Hmm, turns out it wasn’t just me who was surprised. “Aren’t you scared?”

“Huh? Of course I don’t want to jointhe Survey Corps.” He answered, nonchalantly. It seems he’s cried all of histears last night.

Connie spoke up then, “then why?”

“It’s not that titans don’t scare meanymore either. And I won’t spout nonsense like, the best belongs in the Survey Corps. I’m not as eager to die asthat suicidal bastard.”

“You mean Eren? He’s already joinedthe Survey Corps.” I added. After what seemed to be a messy trial, the SC gottemporary custody of Eren.

We were then called to get in line.We all decided to follow the order, but not before Jean told us how this,joining the SC, was solely a decision of his.

Before today, I have never seen thecommander of the SC. I expected to see an old, bald man. Pretty much likeCommander Pixis of the Garrison. Turns out I was way off the mark.

“I am Erwin Smith, Commander of theSurvey Corps.” The tall, blonde man said in that smooth voice of his. He’s alot younger compared to Pixis, and our instructor Keith Shadis. And quite ahandsome fellow. He began his speech, inviting us to join the SC. But he wasn’tsugar coating it. He told us the harsh, cold truth about what’s it like. Thisman is different.

As he finished, he asked those whowants to join to stay in the field. Many people left – but that is to beexpected. When people who wanted to leave were all gone, commander addressed uswho stayed behind; “are you willing to die if you’re ordered to?”

“I don’t want to die!” A brave soulanswered.

“I see. I like the looks on your faces.”Commander Erwin said, eyes travelling around, looking each of us in the eyes. Andfor a moment there, his eyes lingered a little too long on mine. I never knew aperson’s eyes could be that strikingly blue.

“I hereby welcome all of you to theSurvey Corps! This is a true salute! Offer up your hearts!”

“Yes, sir!” We yelled as we made ourfirst ever salute as Survey Corps soldiers.

“I’m scared!” Sasha muttered. “Iwant to go home.”

“I don’t even care.” Conniewhispered.

These teens … they’re brave. Yes,they want to run, but they aren’t doing it. They chose to stay.

“You’ve done well to endure yourfear. You are brave soldiers. You have my heartfelt respect.” Commander Erwinseems to be thinking the same thing as I am. And as I turned back to look athim, I saw his eyes were back on me. Then he turned away.

Nineteen. Out of hundreds on ourfirst day, only nineteen of us stayed to join the Survey Corps.

This is it. The direction I’ve beenlooking for. I can’t help but feel excited.

#erwin smith #erwin smith x reader #snk #snk imagines #aot imagines #commander handsome #mod max #angst #series #a role to take part 1 #a role to take

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assholemurphy · 6 years

Text

so, i’m dying.

lol, not rly. except, yeah, kinda.

my gallbladder has finally fucked itself into a coma and only wakes up to force me to projectile vomit myself into oblivion whenever i consume solids. and on occasions, liquids, if it’s rly cranky. that’s my life now.

i have managed to eat 2 hot pockets, some chips, abt 8 jalepeno poppers, and three eggrolls (and keep them down) in the past 2 weeks. all that i’ve been able to keep down has happened in the past 24hrs. i’m not sure how i managed it, tbh, but it wasn’t without a fight. other than that, i have not digested anything but liquids in the past 2 weeks. i cannot think straight, i can barely form words in my head, let alone say them out loud. this is not fun and i don’t like it. it was one thing to choose not to eat (tho, rly, with an ed, it wasn’t exactly a choice, ya feel?) and to choose to purge, but now that i have no choice at all, i’m so fucking pissed off. like, part of me is happy bc i’ve lost 5lbs already, even with being bloated from constant puking, but like, more of me just wants to survive so i can work on my goddamn finals. which are all due this week. and none of them are done. (except the one that was due last week, managed to do that one, luckily).

pretty boy took me to the er on sun night bc i can’t keep anything down and it’s only gotten worse since they released me. we got there right as the docs were changing shifts, so the first doc was rly narcissistic and full of himself and the second he heard me say ‘i’ve got atypical anorexia b/p subtype’ he was like, ‘ah, yes, it’s all in your head, this is your fault’ which even made pb annoyed bc he apparently can tell the difference between what’s currently going on and my (his words, not mine) ‘crash diets’. but he was p sure the doc didn’t like me bc i called my primary doc (who was supposed to get me scheduled for an ultrasound to get this taken care of almost 2 months ago but didn’t bc he didn’t believe me when i said (having opinions from 2 previous docs) i had gallbladder issues, so he ignored it) an idiot for, ya know, ignoring me when i told him something was wrong. but docs are assholes, they don’t like it when you’re right abt something they can’t see themselves. so i’m switching primary docs asap. this guy’s a fucking joke.

(it’s also been almost three weeks since the pharmacy faxed him paperwork abt the insurance company not wanting to pay for my adderall prescript bc i take 3 pills a day and they only wanna pay for 90 in 75 days (yeah, not even 2 pills a day, like this shit doesn’t work for five hours max). he still hasn’t filled it out. it’s fucking finals week and i’ve got maybe 6 pills left. how fucking grand. so that’s gotta be sorted at the same time he gets me a surgeon’s appt.)

so the guy had me pee in a cup and gave me fluids/anti nausea meds (which were nice, helped me keep down a bit of food sun night). then he basically told me ‘it’s just cyclic vomiting, you’ve just got to break the cycle’ but he was leaving so he was going to let the next guy discharge me. thank fucking god, bc otherwise, i’d probably be dead in a couple weeks.

so this next guy is eccentric af, this whole hospital is a circus, it’s fucking great (no sarcasm, i love quirky ppl). he checks out my cup of pee and orders some blood tests (that the other guy didn’t even care to do), then he comes in and talks to me and he’s fucking great, a+ doctoring, love this guy, sadly, he doesn’t have a private practice, but apparently the nurses get asked if he does all the time. how do i know? my mother asked, bc she liked him. i trusted him. i trust no docs, ever. but this one is good. he says there’s def something wrong, def not just my ed, and orders me an ultrasound for the next morning. good, great, getting this show on the road. he understands my concerns abt my primary doc and offers to explain the results of the ultrasound to my mother via phone mon night. so she calls, he tells her i’ve got ‘sludge and wall thickening’ which are Bad(tm) esp in combination with me not being able to eat anything for over a week and a half.

so, now i’ve got to talk to a surgeon and get my gallbladder removed. as i fucking figured i’d need months ago (during the summer, with my pain and stuff). now this vomiting thing has been happening at least once a semester for abt 2 years now. no one has known what is wrong. ‘it’s acid reflux, take these pills’ ‘these pills don’t work’ ‘welp, idk ^.^’ and so forth for 2. fucking. years. now i’ve got confirmation that my gallbladder is bad. like ‘could explode and kill me’ bad. this is great, i can finally get something done abt this.

except.

except it’s finals week and no only am i running v low on adderall (i just took a pill for the first time since fri morning just a few hours ago) and i’m now fatigued and unable to eat with 4 projects left to do. all of which require a fuckton of concentration. concentration i just don’t have even with the adderall bc i haven’t actually eaten much food lately and can’t fucking think at all. like, every time i eat, it comes right back up.

so, i’ve been sleeping a lot. great, right? except for ya know, all the work i’ve got? nope. i can’t sleep for longer than 4 hours without having night terrors. like BAD ones. i’d tell you abt the one i had when i slept last (from 5:30p to 8:30p) but it would require a whole host of trigger warnings just to give a summary. but it fucked me up badly. and they’ve been getting progressively worse. i dreamed my dog died. i dreamed my apartment was possessed and the demon was trying to kill me. i’ve dreamed of animal abuse and murder and even worse things that leave me fucking shaking when i wake up. but i’m so tired that i keep falling asleep anyway, no matter how scared i am. and i stay asleep, until my alarm goes off, then i shut it off and fall asleep again (into a different night terror). there is no stopping this. my body is dying and it’s telling my brain i’m in danger so my brain is trying to scare me. it’s working. i’m well aware i’m in danger but there’s nothing i can do until my mom sets up a surgeon’s appt for me. i’ve got to remind her to do that tomorrow. i’d do it myself, but i’m far to fucking out of it currently to talk to a medical professional in any capacity.

but throughout all of this, i’m falling further and further behind on my final projects. i’ve got a 10min play analysis due tomorrow at 10:30a (which i’ve got to work on tonight). then i’ve got to finish my stagecraft project (which requires that i go to the shop 3 more times so i’ve got to do that at like 11a tomorrow, then 12p thurs, then like 7p thurs, but i’ve got to find a shop employee to go with me, apparently, and i’d take goldilocks, but she obvs doesn’t want to do it, so i might ask pb or mary, if i have to). then i’ve got to do my monologue assignments for acting i (i’ve got one almost fully memorized, i just need to refresh, but i’ve got to memorize another one, read the play it’s from (i’ve got to buy the ebook), and do an analysis over it before thurs at 10:30a). then my intro to theatre final is due last, but it’s p big and i’ve got to do a lot for it. like 7pg paper plus a ‘previous action’ script (i’ve got to write up a script showing what happened before the play itself starts). i’ve got a SHITTON of work to do and only 9 hours for the sa final, then 24 hrs for the acting i final, then 26 hrs for the itt final, and somehow i’ve got to find at least 3 hours for my sc final. all while trying to get sleep and not eating anything.

plus i’ve still got to do some loan stuff with finaid this week.

i emailed my profs telling them what’s going on, but they’re not going to accept any late finals, so idk why i bothered. (i haven’t heard back bc i just emailed them like, an hour ago and it’s 1a). i CANNOT fuck up this semester bc i won’t get finaid anymore if i do and i can’t drop out. so like, i’ve got to get everything together, but i’m just so fucking sick and everything is overwhelming. i’m going to do my damnedest to get everything done, but idk if i’ll be able to. i rly don’t know.

i’m so fucking stressed over this shit, which is only making my gallbladder issues worse, so it’s a losing battle all around and i’m drowning. honestly, if i had the money, i’d pay for someone to do this for me, but i can’t and i wouldn’t anyway bc like, i’m not putting my name on anything i didn’t do myself out of some bullshit pride thing i’ve got going on. my pride’s gonna get me killed one day, i just know it.

but, tonight, i’m gonna work on my script analysis final and pray to god i can get it done in time. i’ve got like 2 hours left on my adderall, maybe 3 if i push it. i need to make a plan of attack for everything and get to work.

i’m not going to fail this semester if it fucking kills me. and it actually might.

#text #iz says stuff #ed mention #puke tw #illness mention #food mention #i'm gonna go smoke and then start making a plan so that i can sleep (probs 4 hours at a time)#get my work done and stretch my adderall as far as i can #i've also got to get my mother to come up here soon to pay for my other meds #bc i don't have much of them left #like maybe 6 pills #which is 30hours of focus #not a lot at all #i can try to balance it with extra sudafed and monster #but i've only got 5 monsters left #well 5 1/2 lol #i can do this #i've pulled thru worse #but it's not gonna be fun getting this all done #if i had my adderall refilled i wouldn't be in such bad shape #but i don't so here i am #god hates me i'm p sure #he's trying to kick my ass in every possible way he can #and i'm not gonna stand for it #i'm too proud and too stubborn to fail #but i am also too sick to be half as stubborn as i need to be #iz goes to college

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robustcornhusk · 8 years

Text

surgery day!

it’s long! contains bodily functions and a long day at the hospital! it’s probably not very interesting!

the night before:

i was pretty worked - it seemed like it was all scheduled very quickly, and we hadn’t even worked out stuff with insurance (this was apparently intentional but i was pretty unclear on what was happening at the time), so what if they didn’t cut me up? what if i was getting ready for nothing? what if i was pregnant or something and they wouldn’t perform surgery?

so i spent -1 morning calling and being called by the hospital - “are you /sure/ i don’t need to have gotten pre-approval, am I going to have prescriptions afterwards, ...”, the afternoon cleaning up the apartment (my room’s all shiny now!), the night going through a bunch of japanese flashcards. ate dinner at 7pm; people kept calling me during, so i didn’t finish until 8. my mother was one of the callers; she started crying about it and hung up; i’m not really clear on why.

right before bed, i got out all the clothes i wanted for the next day: shirt/jeans/socks/shoes/jacket for the morning, sweatpants and flipflops for going home in. cohuman drugged me so i could go to sleep.

day of:

i woke up at about 8:30, sat in bed for a bit, then took a shower with hibiclens (per pre-op instructions) (don’t get it in your face, you will apparently just lose your sight and your hearing? oh my god). cohuman went out to get a bagel and coffee for themself. i was technically allowed to drink clear liquids (water, gatorade, tea, apple juice) but i was a little nervous that it was secretly not allowed and was on my instruction sheet by mistake, so i didn’t drink anything.

at like 9:45, i was like “WE SHOULD TAKE BEFORE PICTURES” and cohuman was like “no? we’re leaving in five minutes?” so instead i just weighed myself.

a few minutes later we called a car, and left at about 9:55 i think? because i hadn’t had anything to eat or drink, and because i don’t ride in cars very often, and because i was scared they would cancel the surgery still, i was a little dizzy/sick feeling in the car... but managed to get to the hospital (mt. zion) with no incident at 10:10.

we went straight to check-in; the person who checked me in was a little confused because my license said ‘rory’ on it and my insurance was under my old name (feminine, historical misspelling) and wasn’t sure what to call me. alas my hospital bracelet had to have my insurance name on it, but pretty much everyone who called me oldname, once they saw me, started using my last name when it was necessary to talk about it.

at about 10:20 or 10:25, someone called my oldname; they seemed a little surprised but went with it when i responded. cohuman and i were led to a private room this time; i was told to take off & put away my clothes, put on a hospital gown, pee in a cup, put on a hairnet, and sit in a chair when i was done.

a little after i’d done all that, three nurses came in at once and swarmed me: putting on a blood pressure cuff, taking blood samples, setting up an iv, checking my medical history, turning on the gown warmer... all the action and the heat and the blood was getting to me, so that reclined my chair all the way back and turned the gown warmer into a gown cooler (! so comfy).

a harpist came in a little bit later and played for a while; cohuman talked to them about a laser harp a friend is making.

after the harpist left, the nurses came back; i had to take a couple of meds pre-surgery - tylenol, voltaren, neurontin/gabapentin in pill format; some patch behnd my ear to “reduce secretions” but was maybe was to reduce nausea after surgery. got to take them with water, which was NERVE WRACKING and i was like “are you sure this is okay, they’re not going to cancel surgery if i do this, right?”

(yes it was fine)

anesthesiologist the first came in; went over anesthesia stuff for a bit; said anesthesia with a hard t (“teasia”) instead of th (“thesia”). mostly they had to check that yes a tube will go down my throat, they aren’t going to knock out a tooth while doing it, have i had surgery before and how did i react to anesthesia then?, stuff like that.

dr rowen came in, talked about medical stuff: yep we’re taking out your uterus and fallopian tubes and ovaries and cervix, we’re not gonna take out any other organs unless we discover that you have a ticking time bomb shaped like an appendix, “you have good insurance, so they’ll prob cover it, but it also meant we couldn’t do preapproval”. she talked to cohuman a bit while i was talking to other people, and they’re going to figure out what needs to be done to be Absolutely Sure insurance covers it, probably. (cohuman will have to fill in their discussion, but the result is that at some point i’m gonna sign some things so they are Authorized to represent me for insurance reasons or something.)

two of the other doctor humans/med students/residents/Not Top Doctor/i’m not really sure who they were but they were younger than dr. rowen/people came in during the tail end of my conversation with dr. rowen, and talked to me for a bit about surgery too. i didn’t really have any questions by then, i was just sorta hyped.

the other anesthesiologist came in (why were there two?), talked a bit, left, came back. “Think about a calming place where you want to be, it’ll make going into anesthesia better” - “Ah, I’ll think about the operating room!”

i went to the bathroom, forgetting i was going to be catheterized anyway, then they stuck me in a wheelchair and wheeled me over to the operating room. cohuman came with us for the first bit; we said goodbye; i think they went to get lunch.

once i was in the operating room, they directed me to sit on the table - wait no gotta have the back of the gown open, dang you’re tall, move down a bit, move up a bit, move down a bit, up a bit, ah, we got it. once i was situated, they added the ?sedative? to my iv at that time, which started to hit pretty fast.

“last time i noticed it after about 30 seconds, i think.” “Oh, you’ll feel it in 23.” “23? So specific.” “Well, 28.”

they prepped for operating and we/they talked a bit about where i’m from (charleston, sc) - after a bit they put a face mask on me so i couldn’t talk all too much, but, you know.

aaaand the next thing i remember is being in the recovery room. i basically responded to every question with “I want [cohuman], where is [cohuman], cohumanはどこですか。”

let me tell you asking in a language that literally no one in the room speaks, including you, is not a good way to get answers.

my nurse in there was nice, but busy and kinda … i never really had an idea of what i needed to be doing and i never knew when/if he was doing stuff for me? so it was sorta frustrating.

also my call button apparently wasn’t plugged in for a long time, which, oops. (cohuman points out that, in particular, it was not plugged in when i was in Severe Pain and trying to get someone’s attention to Please Make It Stop)

i was in a public room again rather than a private room, which was fine. the person in the curtained-off room next to me kept talking about food which was pretty funny whenever i overheard it.

cohuman said i was out of surgery at ?2:30?, and woke up somewhere around 3:15-3:30, and that they came in at 3:30.

cohuman had gone to the nearby japanese mall for lunch, and also picked up a book to show me when i came out. the title is something like “fitting english words”; it’s about things that usually you’d use one word in japanese for, that in english have two separate words, like tall/high and key/lock.

i couldn’t look at it too long, though; i was seeing double. i could only read or look at my phone by covering up one of my eyes.

where my cervix /had/ been hurt a lot, like i probably would’ve been crying except that i was too dehydrated to cry. they added some painkiller to the iv (not sure what kind), and had some oral ones for me to take, but i wasn’t allowed to take them until i had eaten something. they brought me some graham crackers and water, and i spent … a long time attempting to eat two graham crackers. my mouth was bone dry so swallowing was, uh, difficult. but eventually i got them down and also the painkillers.

at some point i was like “hey i’m bleeding, vaginally, and i know that’s expected but also i prefer not to bleed directly onto the hospital bed?” and the nurse was like “it’s fine” and i was like “i have years of menstruation taboo and would prefer to not bleed directly on the hospital bed” and then they disappeared for a while and came back with hospital mesh underwear and pads, which was a little funny. they had to put it on me, which i think normally i would be uncomfortable with, but also i was fresh out of surgery and didn’t give a damn.

i tried to use the bathroom; nothing came out. i wasn’t sure if this was because i had no urine in my body or because the catheter had irritated the heck out of my urethra. so i drank a bunch of liquids, waited ?30 minutes?, tried again, no dice. asked the nurse what do, they were like “we could do an ultrasound” and then left for a while, which i thought was them blowing me off. after a bit they came back and did an ultrasound and were like “nah, you just have 90ml in there”, then left again with not much explanation. (cohuman looked it up; humans usually want to use the bathroom at 250+ml.) apparently during surgery they also noticed i was dehydrated because only 120ml drained out of me then? so it was more likely that i just was too dehydrated to pee rather than “i am physically blocked from doing so”.

drank more drank more drank more drank more and finally managed to use the bathroom. immediately: I SUCCEEDED LET’S GO HOME, so i got dressed in (oversized shirt, sweatpants, toesocks, flipflops). i was not allowed to carry or hold my bag; i was put in a wheelchair and wheeled to the door. we were driven home; i spent the whole ride with my eyes closed because whatever the heck i had been given was making me fall into a half-dream state really easily and i was getting funny mental images from it. pico wearing the croissant and jumping into a pile of [housemate]’s records, pico playing with some carpet samples that i was trying to look at, extremely vivid grassy walls, ...

#hysterectomy

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