#the backround was my favorite part to make tbh

[the-foolish-ghoulish]

the silly goose on the silly juice

here's one with the silly juice:

[vampire6bux]

satanick forgive me i forgot the name of the oc but its the wet pathetic /lh one thats the rich family background and has a suit and a bodyguard maybe???? :(((((( anyways 1, 3, 5, 8 and 9 for them :3

they haunt me when i dont have any thoughts running in the backround /pos

LIDNEYYYY KIDNEYYY KODNEYYY ILYY YES THATS POET I THINK U R SPEAKING OF <3 and his bodyguard(more like his caretaker) that’s sylie :D it makes me so hapy to hear my characters haunt u I SMILEEE.

1. would he fight me No absolutely nottttt he is a pussy & scared of being breathed on the wrong way. At least at the beginning of his story, he wouldnt even want any thing to do with me and wouldn’t believe that he even had the Chance to confront the person who made him . At the end of his story still wouldn’t fight me, but throughout it He becomes a little more self confident and less scared of the world and gets life experience , he would maybe ask to sit and talk with me, he would still be deathly anxious about it thou

3. if poet could change anything about his life he would change his upbringing , after the events of his story he begins to resent his parents just a little bit for making him scared of being alive basically and coddling him and preventing him from ever being able to live his own life despite the fact he is an adult , using his chronic illness against him . I would not change it for him because i like seeing his development from a terrified little boy stuck in the body of an adult to a ummmm slightly less terrified person .

5. HE WAS CREATED BECAUSE UMMM Idk I think I was thinking about an old cabbit (cat/rabbit) oc I had years ago and I was like wahhh I want another one but .. what if the cat was a. BIG CAT .. or a LESSER CAT.. and now MAKE HIM SCARED!!

8. yes. the parts of having him That are difficult is probably , for the most part, my own disposition to portraying him as Only pathetic and scared . Just because it’s fun to draw and write him as so, but there is a lot more to him. I really really want to begin working on the comic hes in again and show everyone how he really is as a character … i can’t even describe him properly right now, he’s so vivid in my head, i have a scene where he sort of snaps . And it is delicious .

9. my favorite part of having poet And any of my other ocs tbh, is thinking about their relationships with one another and how they interact . Diamachi + poet are so much fun, the “YOU RUINED MY LIFE” vs “I DONT KNOW YOU” that gets the story rolling, sylie and poet as the rock he has been able to rely on his whole life and sylie watching him grow up and feeling awful about how he turned out and how little he could do to help, Virgo and poet being Complete character foils. Virgo who has experienced some of the worst pain life has had to offer repeatedly, never being in a stable environment , never knew peace before being literally sold to poet’s parents for use to test medicines and getting to stay there when they died But doesn’t outwardly seem to be affected by anything vs. Terrified lynx bunny with rich parents never left his house, why are you scared ?

I love him. I love himmmm

[you-did-well-moon]

questions tag :))

i was tagged by the lovely @bearboyunho thank uuuu

relationships: I was in one for a maximum of three hours dkejek. Ill explain in the breakup question. This is definitely not a relationship im proud of. It caused me too many problems considering how short it was...

break-ups: I have so many trust issues and insecurities, i think i still have a long way to grow before i can enter a relationship, besides i havent met anyone yet. I didn't lead this person on, i treated him as a friend. And i usually spent more time with him since we were both in track. He caught feelings for me which i honestly knew about but i didnt say anything bc i didnt have feelings for him. One day during lunch with all my friends at the time he asked for a relationship. He later confessed to me he did this on purpose because he knew i would feel bad saying no to him, and that paired with the pressure of my friends, i said yes. He held my hand, and it just didn't feel right. Everything didnt feel right. So three hours later i got him alone and told him i wasnt ready for a relationship but that we could still be friends. He took it relatively well, but he avoided me. His cousin confronted me and told me he cried all weekend, but she said she understood and that she was glad i said no in the end which i was confused about but didnt question just wanting to leave it behind. Then it all started the next year. Out of nowhere he texted me, which was ???? Bc i never gave him my number, but i talked to him believing he was doing this on friendly intentions. lol i was a dumbass. Later my friend revealed to me he had lied to her and said i was paired up with him during a project. I also found out he asked her for pictures of me. His cousin which im friends with also told me she was sure he was not befriending me on good intentions, and that she was creeped out by him. My friends had continuously told me he would speak about me as if we were together to other people, and that he stared at me for weird periods of time. At this point im fucking scared and confront him and say i dont want to be friends with him and that i dont think us talking or being friends is healthy for either one of us. He continued texting me, making me feel bad when i didnt respond asking me if i hated him i had to eventually block him. He gave me a present on both valentines and Christmas which i rejected but he forced me to accept them. After class i always packed up my stuff slowly bc i had a good relationship with my teacher and talked to her. He stood in front of me and just stared at me while i packed. We actually had a kpop club, and one day he showed up. I was part of student council, and at the middle of the year he started attending. He sent me kpop memes to try to get my attention. I felt so unsafe i told my English teacher. Eventually he gave up when i started being firmer in my silence and overall attitude towards him. so yeah.... a relationship that didnt even last a day caused all this. I genuinely wish i had been more careful. The red flags were there from the beginning and i tried ignoring them bc i wanted to be nice. Dont do that, if someone maked you uncomfortable please dont feel bad and cut them off for as long as you need to. Anyways- nExT quEstiOn.

kids: i dont have any but i want twins so badly it's stupid. I honestly dont mind having kids that aren't twins. I just want two tbh. A girl and boy.

brothers and sisters: i have one sister who's five years younger than me. Im very close with my two cousins tho so theyre like sister to me too. They're older than me by more than five years.

pets: i have three dogs. Two shih tzus Otis and Bella, Bella is mother to Otis. He's the only puppy we kept from when Bella had puppies. I have Rocky a very clumsy english bulldog. I also have a beta fish called Suho.

surgeries: Ive had two. One when i was four to get my tonsils removed because i got sick a lot, and last year i got my gallbladder removed because i had gall stones. That one was so painful i couldnt laugh or do anything without everything hurting.

tattoos: None but i would like one. Not big ones, just small meaningful ones.

countries i’ve been to: Mexico....i miss it

been in an airplane: my family is not in the class where we can take an airplane to travel or even travel to other states. Ive only been on it twice for a contest i won.

been in an ambulance: Twice as much as i can remember. Once for my sister who had a really bad seizure when i took her to a doctors appointment and the other when they had to transport me to another hospital when they first found out i had gall stones.

i sing karaoke: no but you can usually find me singing along to a song on the radio or randomly around my house.

ice skating: I would love to try. The closest ive gotten is rollerblading. I can't do any fancy tricks but i can balance, but oh no i havent gone in such a long time. My poor rollerblades are collecting dust in my garage.

been on a cruise: ..... this is a joke right? Let me have enough money to buy groceries first.

driven a motorcycle: ah i would really like a motorcycle, but no never.

ridden a horse: Lolol all the time. When i was young my uncle helped out at some stables that were literally at the end of my street snd and he always took me a long with him. A lot of my family especially in Mexico and in the valley have ranchos which means they have horses and you can usually find me hanging out with the lovely animals.

stayed in a hospital: I once went because my head was killing me and i found out it was migraines. I had gall stones for seven months and stayed in the hospital about two times a month so yeah i was there a lot. And for the surgery of course.

favorite fruit or berry: Watermelon and Guayaba. Also green grapes.

favorite color: peach and aqua.

last text: "ye ok" it was from me to my cousin since i was gonna go to her house but she was with my grandma who tested positive for covid so we both decided it would be safer for me to keep my distance.

coffee or tea: coffee. i need it to survive. As long as it has sugar im ok. But tea is great for when my stomach hurts. I just prefer coffee. I could drink it any hour.

favorite pie: Pecan, especially with ice cream its so good. Key lime isnt bad either.

favorite pizza: i dont really care? I like all of them but when i was little and we'd go to the mall my dad would always get this big pizza that was big enough to have things stuffed inside it and it tasted so good. Its a good memory.

cat or dog: dog but i really want a cat.

favorite time of year: Chritmas and Thanksgiving always. I love it. Especially Christmas when my family gathers together and we play games and everyone brings a traditional Mexican dish. We stay until like 4 am and its always great.

met a star: That one woman who had an affair with george bush. I met her. That doesnt really count. Yeah no one, i met basketball players but i dont remember from which team or who they were. I met ted cruz. Cool story tho my english teacher knew one of shinee's choreographers.

flown a helicopter:..... umm. nO..

been on tv: Nah. Probably in the backround of some news things.

broken my leg: no ive never broken a bone surprisingly.

seen a ghost: i had sleep paralysis it was close enough.

been sick in a taxi: never even been in a taxi. Ive been on a uber tho.

Tags: @doyoungbunnyagenda @butterflybam @brighttragedy @saturnsluna @waterfallsandrosebuds @jooheonyonehunnit @leecherryyong

[teal-skull]

My answers on Powerwolf asks

Original post here by @emmalovesfandoms​

No one asked me to do this, but I wanted to do this so badly so here we go:

1. How long have you been a fan? 

I’m a freaking newbie in the fandom and the answer will be embarasing: about two months.

2. Favourite Powerwolf-related picture? (post it)

This is a though one. It’s either this cute huggie picture:

Or this because of the beautiful asthetic:

3. Who is your favourite band member? Why?

It’s propably Attila or Falk. Attila’s voice is something marvelous and they both have charming personalities!

4. Do you write fanfiction? Who do you ship?

I don’t really writie fanfiction or ship (in this fandom). I have writen heavily PW inspired short story that is in the middle of a translation progess from finnish to english and hopefully it will be on the internet one day. But that’s probably conna be it. Fanart is more for me than fanfiction.

5. Which is your favourite song?

There’s a big list of those. But I’m gonna name Army of the night.

6. Which is your favourite album?

Bless & Possessed.

7. Have you seen them live? When? What was it like?

As for now, unfortunely no. In the future, yes! They write their songs with the idea of “would we want to play this live?” and otherwise simbly love playing live and want to make an amazing show, so it would be a waste not to go!

8. Favourite inside joke?

Most likely Falk and doors.

9. Favourite headcanon?

Matthew and sugar.

10. Favourite song off Return In Bloodred?

Son of the morning star

11. Favourite song off Lupus Dei?

We take it from the living

12. Favourite song off Bible Of The Beast?

Raise your fist, Evangelist

13. Favourite song off   Blood Of The Saints?

Sanctified with Dynamite

14. Favourite song off   Preachers Of The Night?

Preachers of the night is hard one, because all the songs equally good and the whole album is very solid. But let’s say....Extatum Et Oratum

15. Favourite song off   Blessed And Possessed?

I already said Army of the night so: Higher than Heaven.

16. Favourite song off The Sacrament Of Sin?

Killers with the cross

17. Favourite bonus track? (Orchestral versions, bonus tracks off History Of Heresy II, etc)

Orchestral version of Raise your fist, Evangelist. I literaly cried when I heard that for the first time.

18. Favourite Communio Lupatum cover?

Nata Vimpi Cvrmid / IRA Sancti cover by Eluveitie. That song has such a strong goth and folk asthetic and Eluveite really knew how to make the song their own. It’s fantastic.

19. Favourite makeup era?

I pay more attention to costumes than make up tbh so based on that I would say that I really like the look of their costumes around Bless & Possessed.

20. Favourite song performed live?

Raise your fist, Evangelist

21. Do you have any merch? Show meeee!

I have a hoodie with PW sing in right sleeve and two wolfheads like Ying and Yang on the back. And of course powerwolf logo on the front.

22. Do you have a Powerwolf-related lockscreen/homescreen/desktop wallpaper? If yes, what is it?

I have B&P album cover on my computer backround.

23. Favourite lyrics?

“Born to set the world on fire”

“Hollow the damned in the art of salvation Fallen and banned and the angels die first Servant in life and elated in Eden cursed Slaves in the light from beyond Bury the night in imperial hunger Do or die in this fortress of fear Cannot deny all the wonders are sacred burst Under the weight of this world”

“Would you die for Heavy Metal? Then hear our call Raise your horns for master Satan Till the heavens fall”

“ Stand and scream for all the world today “

24. Favourite melody/instrumental?

The instumental part in Night of the werewolfs.

25. Are you in the FB meme group? Which is your favourite meme?

Nope, I don’t have FB, otherwise would be there and spam the hell out of it with my shitty PW memes.

PW memes are just Quality™

As for favorite, it’s this, because of the effort used in this needs to be appreciated:

26. Favourite Wolfsnächte 2018 recap video?

Wien, because I love that elevator scene.

27. Favourite interview?

This one with Roel.

28. Favourite A Day With Powerwolf video?

Ghäääh, propably part 2 where they are recording the drums because Attilla Blessing the studio was great.

29. Have you seen the documentary? Did you like it?

Not yet, but I plan to buy it this summer.

30. Favourite fanart?

Everything.

31. Best song to rage to?

I don’t actually see PW as a band I can really rage to. Their music is dark and epic but not as aggressive as some other artists I listen. But to name one, I would say Kreuzfeuer

32. Best song for walking fast/running after the bus?

I have a funny story for this:

I was actually late for bus and I see how it goes to the stop. I image how I turn to a wolf and hop on a roof of a house next to me and run to the buss, hop on the roof and dick my long nails on to the metal while enjoying the wind blowing though my fur. Obiously that isn’t possible but that was because I was listening to PW. I can’t remember the song though.

But I would say that Higher than Heaven is a good pick for running because of the fast tempo it has.

33. Have you ever cried over a song? Which one?

YES! Here’s a list:

Raise your fist, Evangelist (Orchestral version)

Where the wild wolfs have come

Stossgebet

IRA Sancti (Orchestral version)

34. Which was the first song you’ve heard?

The universe decided to give me Raise your fist, Evangelist on spotify. First I was like: “Hey, this is a coll intro” Then slowly I started liking the whole song. Then I listened rest of Bibble of the Beast and grew to like them. And then I went to youtube list “popular songs” and the game was lost after that point.

35. Which song made you fall in love with them?

Army of the night was the final nail to be hit as I was crusified as a PW fan.

36. Which song would you like to see them cover?

Phantom of the Opera. Simbly because Attilas opera backround and because they have Phantom of the funeral in Boold of the Saints. And because metal covers of musical songs are awesome.

37. Do you want a Powerwolf christmas album in your life?

I’m not sure. We have Raskasta Joulua thing here in Finland where metal artist make metal covers of chrismass songs and you kinda grow tired of it since it’s every year. Though it would be Powerwolf...

38. Do you have a Powerwolf tattoo? Post a pic???

Nope.

39. Have you ever DIY-ed something? A t-shirt, necklace, etc?

I don’t know it it counts that I made a necklace for Falk in art class, since we were tasked to make a accecory for a popular person...

It can’t be worn because the paint doesn’t stick in it and it has already broken. It’s also rather heavy. So it was more like 3D fanart than necklace...

I have plans for making a black stola with PW sing in it because it would be cool.

40. Which season goes best with Powerwolf’s music?

Autum or Summer, because summer is consert season.

and now my own add:

41. Favorite album cover?

Bless & Possessed

[roseamongroses]

PP part (4) : “two secrets and other lies we told ourselves without realizing “

Warnings: Lowkey life related crisis, Self doubt,  cursing, jealousy but not in the way you think tbh

Characters: Remy Sanders, Patton Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Roman Sanders, Logan Sanders, (Mentioned: Deceit: goes by Eaton)

backround pairings: Remy/Patton, Roman/Logan, Virgil/ His vintage car seats, his career, and his cats

p(1) p(2) p(3) 

Ao3

On paper, Patton and Roman were just friends

Eyes narrowed, Patton crammed another chunk of cake in his mouth, brushing away the crumbs with the sleeve of his newly finished knitted sweater.

Across the table his boyfriend, sighed, rolling his eyes,  “You’re not  going to convince me by throwing a tantrum,” He huffed, giving a pointed look over his tinted frames, jabbing his own barely touched cake with his finger for emphasis,  “Look, girl, girl, you put too much damn vanilla in this.”

“I did not,” Patton swallowed, sniffing through the pain, “You’re just being mean.”

Remy scoffed, smiling, “Sure thing babe, “ he leaned over swiping some of Patton’s icing that escaped onto his face, tongue flicking out to taste that abomination of humanity, “Totally not,”

“Ugh, “ He batted Remy’s hands away, “No respect in this house I swear-” His nose curled, eyes darting to the kitchen, his kitchen, “My chocolate muffins shi-” He sprung from his chair, darting out the room, table and it’s random array of various holiday-themed ornaments clattering dangerously .

After a few dozen noticeable crashes from the danger zone, Remy's phone buzzed. Easily slipping  it out, Remy glanced towards the kitchen before eying the string of texts, “Bitch,” he frowned, noting the recent timestamps of the vague as hell texts, “Ugh, this tea better be strong.”

He sighed, brushing off the remaining crumbs from his leather jacket, pushing his shades further up the bridge of his nose, he stood up, humming as he strolled to the door.

Swinging it open, he scowled, amused, “Isn’t it my favorite trash-man, what’s this? Late.” He tsked, moving to let Virgil inside.

“Shut your face,” Virgil sneered, quietly shutting the door behind him, not bothering to remove his jacket, “Weren’t you the man who was late to a dinner date at his own house?” His eyes narrowed, fighting the smile automatically curling on his face.

“I was seeing the sights,” Remy shrugged, lazily making his way back to the table.

Rolling his eyes, Virgil follows suit picking the seat closest to the door, “Remy, you disaster, you were in the house.”

“So,” said disaster clasped his hands, looking like a bored madman, “Where are these complications and how are they so complicated that you didn’t even spill over text?”

“Drama rat.”

“Correct, now did these complications involve the chess discourse or do they involve 80-year-old women threatening to destroy someone’s legacy from the source.”

“Neither,” Virgil said, reaching to steal Remy’s cake, which he pushed towards him gladly, “Though Lucy is pissed you didn’t visit last week,” he carelessly bit into a large chunk, face souring immediately, but swallowing nonetheless.

“Hey, this drama rat has to pay his bills.”

“Excuses, excuses,” Virgil ate another chunk with more visible ease, “Prince and Prince Charming are in the car,”  he grumbled, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

“What are they making out all over your vintage seats or something?”

“I wish,” Virgil snorted, “They’ve been talking nerd the entire way, and that’d be fine if they didn’t somehow manage to shove their unresolved romantic- sexual shit into it.”

“Ah, I remember those days,” Remy almost swooned in distaste, “How long have those two have been pining? One? Two months or something?”

Virgil stared at him, slowly placing his fork down, blinking slowly, “Try... five... years.”  he said as if the reality had just dawned on him.

He picked up his fork again, slamming it down for emphasis, “Five fucking years, holy shit. I’m done with Roman and his dramatic bullfuckshittery, fuck thi...and Logan. Logan. Nevermind I should’ve expected this...then again they aren't really obligated to define themselves, but my seats are too delicate to handle them avoiding it completely like they are--” his eyes were glazed, as he continued mumbled rant of vague curses.

Patton chose that moment to peek out of the kitchen, satin bonnet now on,  smudges decorating his face, and soft hazel eyes holding a deathly gleam, “Did you just say Roman?”

Remy smiled sweetly, shooting Virgil a glare, “Yes, Roman, who just landed in Italy,  right Virgil?”, meanwhile, he internally pleads for Virgil to shut the fuck up.

Virgil flushed, avoiding Patton’s curious gaze, “R-right, Italy--Italy. You know this cake is really good Patton let’s talk about that and not Roman, who is in Italy. Rome. Like his name...” he said, stuffing another scoop of the overtly flavored cake in his mouth.

Sensing weakness, Patton narrowed his attention onto Virgil, who unlike Eaton, could hardly manage to tell any less than the truth. It’s what Patton had always liked about Virgil. Especially moments like now, when Remy couldn’t sass his way out of interrogations.

“Virge,” Patton tilted his head, just a bit, batting his eyelashes, “You wouldn’t know if Roman, who I love more then anything-”

“The fuck am I?” Remy scoffed, not surprised

“Boyf-best-friend is different then Best-best-friend, love-” Patton corrected, not missing how Virgil none too subtly tried to fade into the furniture, “So, if I text him now he wouldn’t tell me he’s outside?”

“I….Uh.” Virgil looked to Remy for assistance.

They both knew the only other person worse then Virgil at keeping secrets from Patton was Roman. Not because he couldn’t lie for shit, hell he could give Eaton a run for his money if the chips were down. No, it was more like Roman would actually kill a man before he willingly disappointed Patton, even for a surprise.

Remy looked away like a goddamn traitor.

And that was enough evidence for Patton to go power walking out the door, not even bothering to put on shoes. By the time the other two had trudged out there, Virgil briefly raiding the kitchen beforehand, Patton was a bundle of giggles, excitedly chattering and bounding around the guest. Roman looking pleased, face flushed and beaming, and Logan looking vaguely disoriented, standing behind Roman as if Patton would bite.

‘Which he does.’ Remy smiled, standing in the doorway, eyes appreciatively watching his boyfriend’s freckled face, his initial irritation washing away.

“Ugh, stop giving me oogies,” Virgil blandly complained, not really looking up from his popcorn, “ I thought you said you ate your emotions.”

“I do. Without remorse,” Remy said, watching Patton’s attempts to talk to Logan, “--but he’s like, really cute though, look at him he’s like a puppy— it’s  hella  unfair.”

“Excuses,” Virgil glanced at Patton, who still wore that damned sweater dress, despite the rapidly fading brief winter weather, “Valid as they are—“ he admitted between mouthfuls, “Are still excuses yah filthy gremlin. Just admit it, you’re old and full of icky emotions like the rest of us.”

Remy scoffed, looking over his sunglasses appalled and mouth open for rebuttal, but whatever not teen rated thing he had to say was halted all as once as Patton twirled around, beckoning him to greet their guests.

Remy slid away quick with a bit too much skip in his “cool guy” walk to even be considered casual.

Virgil rolling his eyes and stubbornly remaining in the air conditioning called out, “You fucking softie..”

“You bet your vintage ass I am,” Remy said, flipping him off before sliding an arm around Patron guiding him and their honored guest inside.

Watching the clouds gather outside, Virgil knew it was going to be a long night.

-

Patton sighed into the cheap lawn chair they kept on the porch, the soft rolling of thunder, and the soft thuds of the incoming rain a familiar accompaniment as he lazily stirred his tea. It was strange to think that the holidays used to feel so...draining.

A lot of the time he spent it trying to ignore the overwhelming loneliness it brought seeing the whole world past lights blazing, laughing easy. Even when he was offered a place to spend the days with Roman and his parents or Virgil and his grandmother, even the rare occasions Eaton offered to let him hang out with their group of friends, it felt like he was intruding in someone else’s moment.

But now...the moment felt all his. It wasn’t the flashy lights or dramatic public displays, it wasn’t traveling the world, throwing himself headfirst into whatever life gave. it was something softer, comfortable. And he loved it.  So he didn’t understand why he felt so…

“Oh, Patt, there you are,”  the screen door opened, Roman ducking outside easily.

Patton swallowed, setting his tea aside, “Yea, Virge kicked me out of the kitchen,” he sniffed, “-and I don’t drink at every possible occasion, unlike some people.”

“Hey, hey, is that judgment?” Roman gasped, sitting in the other chair gayly, feet somehow propping themselves up while simultaneously maintaining an air of politeness, “Or-or, is it you're mad that shades and you lost?

“Oh I’m not judging,” Patton hummed, judgmentally, “I’m just saying that shoving Remy off the couch, while he was already tipsy is a questionable method at winning Mario Cart.”

“Virgil promised me a dollar if I did, that’s a lie I did it for free.” Roman shrugged, taking down his messy bun and threading his hands through his hair, “Anyway! Shades and Specs are sulking because I kicked their asses once again and, now, ugh!  Refuse to give me any more attention, “ he whined, slumping further into his seat, “Patton, I needed attention, I can feel my youth draining already.”

Patton snorted, “What about Virgil?”

“He’s sleeping like a babe,” Roman scratched his chin, “A very loud grumpy babe, who hissed when I  moved him upstairs because he can’t admit he likes being carried.”

“So I’m your last choice?” Patton said, “I’m hurt.”

“You shouldn’t and you weren’t,” he said, “I would’ve bugged you earlier but Remy threatened to slice me like a cake if I disturbed your peace. “ He sniffed, “The nerve, me? Disturbing the peace? I’m a delight.”

“Well, there was second grade when…”

Roman’s face flushed, “I was a kid, a very justified, gay kid.”

“Mhm, that’s what you always say,” Patton said, grinning, “How about that time at the park, with Ms. Flores. -”

“She might be old, may she be at peace, but she was petty and I never fail to rise to the challenge.” he crossed his arms, “And don’t mhm me, it was second grade! I’m allowed to have crushes, even if they have abysmal taste in writing.”

“Now that I think about it you’ve had crushes on a lot of our friends, most turned into squishes but... hmm..” he sipped his tea content, “Virgil, Eaton, Nate, Terrence-”

“Pat, please no, you said you loved me,” Roman groaned through his hands.

“I think me at one point?” Patton said, setting his cup down, “Don’t know why though…”

“I was five,” He huffed, “And you are cutest out of all of them.”

“Mhm, sounds fake, but that ring pop was pretty, plus,” Patton said, before adding on a bit more quietly, “I think it’s cute you had so much love to give,” He curled into the seat tighter, that creeping unease settling on him as easily as he pushed it away.

“Huh,” Roman paused, “I thought I was just...flaky.”

“No…” Patton frowned, “No. You are not a flake Roman, you throw yourself into everything, into everyone. You didn’t stop loving your crushes, you just love them a different way."

"No relationship is ever just…” Patton's voice hitched, “ no person is just a stepping stone for you. Well,” he forced a laugh, “At least I hope not, you have gotten pretty big online...you travel all the time, meet people all the time. Your career’s bigger than anything I've made in the workshop…”

Ah, that’s the feeling.

Not jealous….just…less. Too slow. Not enough. He was almost 30 after all, what has he to show, what has he done?

“Uh, Patton amour, pardon my french, but that’s bullshit,” Roman said, brow furrowed and trained on him.

“Wha-?”

“It's,” Roman leaned closer, “Bull-” he said, “Shit.”

Before Patton could finish gaping and respond, Roman jumped in, “Did you or did you not pay and work your way to college?”

“It was a community college-”

“It was unthinkable for you. Remember? You expected to fail high school, to barely get your GED.”

Patton smiled sadly, “I hated school.”

“As you should, some, not Mrs. Huang she was a saint,  those teachers were fucking obnoxious shits with only a diploma shoved up their--”

Roman grumbled shaking his head, “Let it go-Let it go-Let it fucking go--,” he half sang, “Anyway, you hated the system, but you worked it. You graduated, went to college with little support at home. And got a whole job.”

“Roman I…” Patton slumped, “That’s great, wonderful, fantastic, but got that job I expected to...move on, to make a change, now I don’t have any expectations at all. I don’t have a growing career…”

“No, but you have a stable one.” Roman said, hugging himself, “Sure, my growth might be a bit much...but that’s all I have right now. Growth. Nothing’s stable, nothing’s set in stone...nothing is ...mine.”

“Roman…”

“No, I’m not being self-deprecative...I think. It’s just,” Roman sighed, rocking in his seat, “When my blog’s gone when my videos are gone when my friends all around the world start to settle down what do I have to show my progress?

"Patton, you have a home, a community you support and see every day, a fiance who loves you as much as you love him. I love my life to death, I’m thankful I can even have it, but sometimes, a lot of times, I think. Shocking, yes, but I think."

"About when I’m old, about when I’m dying, about when I don’t want to do this anymore. When I just want to settle down and just rest I--” He laughed, body jerking unnaturally," Will I even have a chance? None of it seems real now…And I-” he squeaked, Patton plopping into his lap.

“Pat-” Roman whined, “I --Ugh, sorry I was supposed to let you sulk,” Patton rested his head on  Roman’s shoulder, playing with his hands.

“We can sulk like this,” Patton said, throat tight, “Being sad with friends is a preference of mine.”

“Even if it solves nothing?”

Patton closed his eyes, “Who says we have to solve anything?”

Because in the end, they were just Patton and Roman

[el-and-hop]

Hello! So I was wondering if maybe you have any advice for writing? I'm working on my first fic in 3 years (?) and I really want it to be good! Your writing is always flawless so I figured I'd ask you. Of course, it doesn't really matter since I probably won't post it (it's gonna suck) but thank you so so so much for this!

HI!!! So tbh I’m working on the drabble you requested right now (instead of doing my Educational Theory Homework whoops) but I think that totally gives me some backround for this question.

First rule to remember about writing: there are no rules. You can do whatever you want and write however you want. 1st person, 3rd person, past/present, interconnected oneshots, expanded moment fics, etc, you can do anything. 

Longer does not mean better. Val @maxmayfield‘s The End of Everything is short but it is the most heart wrenching and fucking brutal fic I’ve ever read. I cried myself to sleep after reading it. “Promise you’ll be happy after me?” (I’m already crying).

When I write, I tend to write in an outline form. So I basically have a plot sketched out, and I write maybe one or two sentences describing what I want then add detail below. I’ll do this for the entire story so I can see what I want and not forget what I’m working towards. This also helps me because I often get ideas while writing for future parts so I can just drop them into wherever they go. I also am a sucker for doing dialogue first because that comes easiest for me.

I love writing from images. Not only actual photographs and such for inspiration, but also mental images. For example in my El, Hop, a Bear, and the Vacation fic, I used real images of the real Nolan Lake as inspiration. But at the same time I also wrote to the mental image of El sitting alone with her back turned fishing, like a movie shot.

Expand moments. This is key. Don’t just say “He sat watching TV.” How was he sitting? What was he wearing? What was on TV? What was he thinking? How is he reacting to watching tv? Does he watch tv often? 

Some people are the kind to just write non-stop and edit after. I am not one of those people. I will spend 20 minuintes on a single paragraph. Don’t be afraid to try different styles out. 

I keep a blank sheet of paper next to me all the time when I write because often I can hand write faster and make visuals for ideas better than I can type them. (I love arrows)

Character analysis is key. Jazz @freshxbloom is fucking fantastic at it. One of my personal favorites is Leave Me in the Cold. 

READ FAN FICTION. IT HELPS.

Don’t be afraid to piggyback off a headcanon. For example, I wrote The One Where El Steals a Dog before El, Hop, a Bear, and the Vacation. Yet the bear comes first in the timeline. I had written about a “bear cub incident” and then thought “wow that would make a cool fic.”

Don’t be afraid to take a long time. My most popular drabble, “He cried himself to sleep every night” took me two weeks to write. It’s so short but I wanted everything to be perfect. and it’s not perfect. I’d change a lot but I can’t.

Never worry if people will like your writing. It’s the biggest fear that I had before. I’ve written some TERRIBLE fics. I HATED The One Where El Steals a Dog for a long time because it was so sloppy and it felt rushed. I reworked it and edited it so it is better, but I am still weary of it. Writing is scary and there is always a need for validation and when no one likes or reblogs your work it sucks. You can spend weeks on a fic and it can get 10 notes. But you can also write for a few hours and have a fic blow up. 

Even if you hate it, post it. You’ll never know if people actually like it. And write like hell. I have 16 drafts of just paragraphs of things that I wrote that are unfinished.

HAVE FUN. It’s the most important thing you can do to become a better writer. I killed off Mike in this prompt fic because I thought it would be fun. I put El into a coma in A Headache because I wanted to explore the void and also I wanted to get people’s reactions from Part 1. 

You can do whatever you want. It’s fiction. Dustin Henderson is dating an alien? Why not. El grows an extra finger from radiation? Go for it!

[sweetlittleoreo]

My coming outs, ranked (and more)

(Date of writing this: 27.12.2019)

I've been coming out for about 3 years to various people (found out I was bi on march 10th, 2016, and than later discovered I'm more pan)

Good ones:

1. This is my best coming out yet, and it was a coming out to my aunt (my mom's sister, about 34y/o, married with 2 kids)

It was August 2019, and we were together on a family trip. We had a long talk because it was Shabbat (our family are religous jews, so Shabbat is kinda boring) and we talked about a lot of stuff while walking around with her cute baby. We were finishing the talk because it was late, and we almost arrived at our rooms. And than-

Her: "I have something I wanted to ask you."

Me: "what?"

H: "one time.. I was at your room, and I saw a drawing.."

M: *shit*

H: "it was a boy, and it said something like.. 'I like my women like I like my coffee.. I don't like coffee'.

(It's a Nico De-Angelo drawing from 7th grade)

"I mean, I know you are straight, but like.."

M: "I'm not straight."

And than we talked about it for A WHILE, and she told me that she thinks she might be bi!

She always kind of liked girls, and than she had something with her sister's friend, and she was so scared because she was about to get married, and what if.. but everything was okay, and she is happily married, and a 30/70 bi girl, and this is great, and the best coming out I've had.

2. My coming out to my educator(s) (?) Who is my educator for about 4.5 years, and onlu found out I'm not straight THIS SUMMER.

So this year I really wanted to go to a Pride Parade, so I went with my friend to Jerusalem Pride, and we when we got back, we went straight to their house (my educators' house)

And than we hanged there for a while with a couple of friends, and when it got late, it was just me, the friend who went to pride with me, and my educators. And than-

Educator: "so why did you go to pride?"

Us: "we just wanted to."

(For the record, I was SURE he knew I'm pan, so the question was kind of odd to me)

E: "no, like.. is one of you a part of the Proud Community?" (In Isreal we call it Hakeila Hagea- The Proud Community)

My friend: "I'm not."

Me: "I am."

או בעברית כי זה נשמע יותר טוב-

חברה שלי: "אני לא."

אני: "אני כן."

And then we had a big talk about it, and it was nice and it felt so clean and true and not awakward.

Those are my two favorit coming outs so far, but there are a couple of REALLY BAD ONES who have to be here:

1. My first coming out

It was to my friend, one who I was really close to at the time (and now we kind of grew apart)

I told her I have something important to tell her,but it was SO HARD TO SAY THE WORDS. I was in 7th grade and telling her I'm bi was just too hard. So I gave her a dictionay and told her the first letter was B, and when she finds it, I'll tell her.

I don't remember for sure, but I'm pretty sure Bi wasn't in thr dictionary, and I ended up telling her.

She hugged me and said she loves me or something, and that's it.

2. Another one that has to be here is my TERRIBLE coming out to my mom.

Even thinking about it makes me gag, so:

I was in 8th grade (bad, awaful timing tbh) and we talked about weddings, and I said about something about marrieng a woman, and ran to my room, and then we went to eat out with my family and she said she'd be happy if I broght a man home in the end, and I cried in the resturnt's toilet, and it was awaful and she was sure I was GAY, like, a TOTAL LESBIAN, because I told her I like woman and not that I'm pan, and everything was so bad.

3. My coming out to like, 5 of my friend during a spin the bottle game.

We played spin the bottle, like normal 8th graders, and of course we asked about crushes, because what else there is to ask about, and they found out I have a crush on someone from my school (most of us go to different schools). And that his name starts with ע (a/o) mostly.

So they started guessing.

And then:

My friend (the one that went to Pride with me!) Asked if it was a boy.

And I said no.

And then told them I'm bi, and who my crush is, and everything, and it was a pretty awakward coming out, and my third one, and yiks, middle school.

And then we have just a honorable mention, whice is a coming out to a friend from school:

I took her to the side and told her I was bi- peaceful and quiet, a nice coming out.

It was the end of 7th grade, and I had a big, huge sexual awakening- ON THAT FRIEND.

And then, about a week after my coming out, SHE CAME OUT TO ME AS BI.

And then I spent all of 8th grade with a huge crush on her.

And another one that is also nice:

A lil bit of backround- on July 1th, 2019, which is the start of the summer of this year, I got a side cut (shaved the side of my head) (left one if it matters to you)

Now, if you don't know, this haircut is really, really gay. A whole coming out of it's own.

Well anyway, at the start of August I met a guy. He's a whole different story, but the important part is that we became friends really fast, and we kissed after three days of talking.

When we ended our first kiss, I told him I'm bi (I kind of hate saying pan sometimes)

And he said: "I thought you might be."

And I said: "why?"

And he said: "honestly? The haircut."

And that's my memorable coming outs, I guess.