aus420

[stewykablooey]

everybody got to watch succession season 1-3 as it aired and witness bonkers television history together while i was too busy trying for the 19th time to get past the second hand embarrassment of season 1 episode 1 for 5 years

[homielander]

every once in a while i remember that nobody in season 3, not even annie or MM, ever bothered to bring up the very valid point that maybe the boys shouldn't be hunting and killing supes who haven't actually done anything wrong (at least to their knowledge), and i am filled with rage all over again

[kennahjune]

Steddie

I’m joining the s3 steddie train :D

…

Steve was late. He was so late and so dead. Robin was going to kill him— he’d never make it out of Scoops Ahoy alive.

This was his thought process after dropping Will Lucas and Max off at Mikes. This was also his thought process the entirety of the way to Scoops while he shoved his way through the mall.

The moment he entered the small shop Robins eyes locked on him in a glare. Steve barely gave her a second before he was going to the back room to get ready for his shift.

He heard the back room door open behind him.

“You’re—“

“24 minutes late I know,” he said as calmly as he could while trying to relax his breathing.

“Yeah and—“

“And you get an extra 25 minutes for your break, yes Robin I know!”

Steve finally closed his employee cubby and turned to look at Robin. “Look. Im sorry I was so late today but Will, Lucas and Max are assholes when they’re being petty and they needed a ride to Mikes cause all the others were busy! I’ll take closing shift today to if you’re really that mad.”

Robin stared at him angrily from the doorway. “Fine.” She uncrossed her arms. “And yes, you will be taking the closing shift tonight. I have a study date with a friend that I can’t miss.”

“It’s summer vacation?”

“Shut up!”

Steve shrugged when the door closed.

He closed the door to his employee locker with a little more force than necessary. He had a migraine building and the bright, florescent lights of the mall weren’t helping in the slightest.

He walked out and began his shift.

…

Eddie wanted to enjoy his day off. Preferably by himself. But Gareth and Jeff decided that his personal life was their personal life. So here they were.

He had wanted to spend the day away from the mall, considering that that was where everyone seemed to be nowadays. But the guys were insistent.

So they were walking around. It wasn’t too bad, considering Eddie had gotten himself a new record and tape with his newest paycheck. They were sitting at the fountain when Gareth shouted right in Eddie’s ear:

“HOLY SHIT!”

Eddie just about punched him with how hard he jumped. Jeff spit out his Pepsi all over Eddie.

While Eddie was worrying about getting the sticky drink off of his skin, Gareth continued with; “is that HARRINGTON in Scoops?”

Well. Now he has Eddie’s attention.

Sure enough, just in Eddie’s line of sight, was Steve Harrington in a sailors uniform and a dorky hat.

A dorky hat that was soon snatched up by his current customer, Billy Hargrove.

Jeff clapped him on the shoulder and leaned over him to get a better view. “Is that Hargrove?”

“Yep.” Eddie popped the P.

“It looks like he’s messing with Harrington.”

“Yep.” Another pop on the P.

“And Harrington looks like he’s gonna fucking explode.”

Eddie agreed. Harrington was red in the face and not in the cute blushy-way he usually gets (don’t ask why Eddie knows that). He was talking back to Hargrove, probably something bitchy and sarcastic in typical Harrington-fashion based on the way Hargrove seemed to recoil for a moment before jumping back.

“Should we do something?” Gareth asked skeptically. Jeff shrugged where he was pressed against Eddie’s back.

“I’m going in.” Eddie stood and nearly knocked Jeff down in the process.

“Hang on—“

“Nope! Wish me luck, boys!” Eddie yelled over his shoulder while he dashed over. He heard them both get up and follow him.

…

Steve wanted to cry.

His head hurt so fucking bad and his back was killing him and he had ran into a shelf earlier and had a killer bruise on his arm and leg from it and everything was too fucking much.

Then, in all his asshole and dick glory, in came Billy Hargrove.

At this point, Steve would rather take another plate to the head then have to deal with his annoyingly aggravating voice. Hargrove came in, probably expecting Robin to be there, but got Steve instead. And honestly Steve would rather deal with him then leave Robin with him.

So he’s been enduring it, giving his own comments and comebacks but overall hating his life and just wanting to curl up and die.

Then his savior showed up. In all his black leather and chains, Eddie fucking Munson.

Hallelujah.

Hargrove seemed to back down the moment Munson showed up. Which wasn’t too strange considering that Munson supplied over half of Hawkins’ weed supply. Including Steve’s own for a while. He hasn’t bought in a while cause of the brat brigade.

But not the point.

Hargrove nodded to Munson. “Munson.”

Wow. Real cool, Billy. Steve held back a snicker.

“Heeyyy, Hargrove!” Munson cheerily greeted. But there was something about his smile that was off, to Steve. It seemed tighter than usual, his eyes not crinkling with the motion like normal. Don’t ask why Steve knows this.

Munson’s eyes seemed darker, too. Like he was angry. Maybe Hargrove didn’t pay him? Steve couldn’t bother to care with how bad his head started to pound.

He shouldn’t be at work with this migraine. He knows that. His doctor’s told him this multiple times. But he owes it to Robin for being late so much and he needs to prove to his dad that he can take care of himself.

“So what brings you here, Billy?” Munson asks casually, stepping farther into the shop. Steve seems to finally be forgotten about, and he places his head down on the counter. The cooled surface definitely helps with the spinning room.

He hears Hargrove say something back, but he isn’t paying attention anymore. His eyes are stating to go blurry and he really needs to sit down. But then Munson says something that catches his attention:

“Just leave Harrington alone, man. Last I checked he did nothing to you.”

What the hell? Steve wished he could lift his head and see what Munson was doing. What he looked like when he said that. If he looked as mean as he sounded.

Steve only lifts his head a few moments later when he feels a hand on his back. He shoots up quicker than he intends, and nearly falls back down if not for the hands still holding him up.

“Shit,” he grumbles quietly to himself, whining even quieter at the sudden rush of pain and the black dots in his vision.

“Easy there, your highness.” Munson.

Steve blinks slowly, letting Munson set him down in a booth. He doesn’t remember walking over but he’ll take it. He puts his head back down and intertwines his fingers behind his head. He groans quietly again, the pounding slowly receding.

“Hey man, is there something we could do? Do you need anything?” He heard Munson ask.

We? Steve wants to ask, but finds himself not caring. “Water, and my bag from the back please,” he rasps out. Talking makes the pounding worse.

He hears someone rush off to the back and a moment later a hands on his back again and is helping him sit up.

“Here ya go sweetheart.” Munson slides the glass of water and bag over to him.

Steve silently reaches into his bag and pulls out his small “to-go” med-kit. He carries it around mainly for the kids. Mike tends to be clumsier than he comes off as and Max is always trying out some new skateboarding tricks. From inside the kit he pulls out a pill bottle and swallows 2 with the water and goes for another 2 before a hand stops him.

“I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to take more than 2.” This voice is new but familiar. Steve squints past the blurriness and makes out someone he recognizes from school; Gareth Emerson.

“4,” Steve manages past the lump in his throat. Munson, Emerson, and someone else Steve doesn’t quite know look at him. Munson continues to hold Steve’s hand on the table, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. It weirdly intimate but the comfort is very welcome.

“4 what?” The other guy asks.

“4 pills. I usually take 4.”

Munson and Emerson both wince. The third guy looks at him like he’s insane. Steve finally recognizes him as Jeff,… something. He actually never got his last name.

“Dude— are you trying to overdose!?”

Steve winced at the sudden loudness, whining quietly. Munson shushed Jeff and Steve heard him rush out an apology.

The bell over the door dinged at that moment, and Steve found himself face to face with Max, Mike, Will, Lucas, and— for some reason— Jonathan.

“Uh— hi?” Steve attempted for a greeting.

“‘Hi!?’” Mike yelled. “Hi yourself man! We called your walkie at least 4 times!! What the hell?”

“Are you ok? Why didn’t you answer?” Will asked in a much quieter tone.

Lucas and Max wasted no time before slotting themselves in the booth with Steve. Munson remained across from Steve, and Emerson and Jeff now hovered farther away, but Lucas slid right in next to Munson and Max next to Steve.

“What the fuck, Harrington?” Max demanded. But she clung to his shirt tightly.

“Language, Mayfield,” he reprimanded quietly.

Mike paused where he stood. “Why are you talking so quietly? Shit— do you have a migraine?”

Suddenly 4 pairs of little eyes were gazing at him with unmasked concern. Holy shit was this overwhelming.

“Guys—“

“Why didn’t you say that, Steve?” Lucas asked.

“Are you ok? How long has it been going on for? Asked Will.

“Why are even here if you’re not able to function properly?” Mike reprimanded in his own caring-ness.

Max clutched to him tighter. “Why aren’t you at home? You could’ve called in sick or something!”

“Shhh!” Mike shushed her.

“Don’t shush me—“

“Shut up!” He whisper shouted. “You have to be quiet and try to control your temperature while resting in a dark, quiet room to try and help with migraines. Pain killers help to but no more than 3.”

Everyone stared at him. He went a little pink under the sudden attention.

“Nancy gets migraines a lot from reading in the dark.”

Jonathan came over right then. Steve was suddenly overwhelmed by all the people surrounding him.

“Uhm—“

“Hey,” Munson called. Steve forgot about him for a good moment. “This is cute and all, but maybe we should not surround him? Poor boy looks like he’s gonna cry.”

Everyone turned to look at him. Tears had— in fact— sprung to his eyes.

“Sorry!” All the kids rushed out quietly at the same time. Max climbed out of the booth and Munson and Jonathan both assisted with helping Steve to the break room. Jeff and Emerson stayed with the kids, but Mike came with them since he seemed to know what he was doing better than the 3 of them.

On their way back to the room though, Steve’s legs nearly gave out from under him. Shit. It’s one of those days. Munson just barely managed to catch him under the armpits while Jonathan got him by the waist.

“Woah there, sweetheart.” Munson grunted.

“Careful, Steve,” Jonathan said quietly.

“Sorry. Spinning.” Steve exhaled shakily.

Mike came rushing back after realized they weren’t with him. “Damn. Spinning? Are you able to walk? Or are they gonna have to carry you?”

Jonathan looked up at the mention of having to carry Steve. “Yeah— I’m not able to carry him. I am so not strong enough for that.” He had the decency to look apologetic.

Munson chuckled quietly and the sound reverberated through his chest where Steve’s head was. It was soothing.

“Don’t worry Big Byers. I’ve got him no problem.”

Steve was given no warning before he was being picked up in a bridal carry. He winced sharply and laid his head on Munson’s shoulder. Jonathan whistled lowly from somewhere beside them and Steve blindly kicked his leg in his direction, scoring in kicking him in the arm. Jonathan snickered.

…

When Munson chased off Hargrove he didn’t expect for Harrington to all but collapse in on himself and try to fucking overdose on like 5 pain killers. He also hadn’t expected to be bombarded by 4 kids and 1 Jonathan Byers. Least of all did he expect to be carrying Harrington bridal style to the break room of Scoops Ahoy.

Somewhere behind him, Gareth turned the sign on the door to closed. Eddie silently thanked him.

The kid— who he vaguely remembers as Nancy Wheeler’s younger brother— opens the door and startles a half asleep Robin Buckley.

“Hello,” Jonathan throws her way before pulling a chair out for Eddie to sit on.

“Uh— hi? What the hell—“

Eddie takes the seat with Harrington in his lap. Robin looks dumbfounded.

“Migraine,” Jonathan helpfully supplies.

“Really, really bad migraine. Vertigo included. Full package tonight, folks.” Mike adds.

“Ok— um, is he ok? He doesn’t look ok. If it was so bad why didn’t he just call in sick?”

“That’s a good question,” Mike retorts quietly while rooting around in a freezer.

“What are you looking for”, Robin asks.

“Ice pack. The dumbass has everything in that first aid kit of his except a damn ice pack.”

“Language,” Harrington reprimanded quietly from where his cheek was against Eddie’s chest. Eddie chuckled quietly when Mike retorted with a half-assed “sorry”.

Eddie couldn’t help but admire the now sleeping Harrington in his lap. He bent in half like a shrimp, his knees just about to his chest, and his hands gripping tightly onto Eddie’s still-Pepsi-soaked t-shirt. But he looked so at peace while asleep. Like he hadn’t just had the worst migraine Eddie’s ever seen and wasn’t just about to pass out on his feet. Eddie smiled.

Mike comes over silently, managing to sneak up on Eddie and make him jump slightly and causing Harrington to whine. He’d been whining a lot today. And under “different circumstances” Eddie would’ve found it hot as fuck.

“Sorry,” Mike whispered. He seemed to be able mellow out a lot when he actually tried. He seemed like such an asshole out at the booth but now he seems quieter. These kids really cared about Harrington, huh?

“Here.” Jonathan helped him out and gently picked up Harrington’s head. Eddie caught Harrington actually kind of leaning into his touch. A strange but endearing friendship. Mike placed the ice pack— now wrapped in a cloth— on Eddie’s chest where Harrington’s head lays.

Harrington lays back down and is out like a light soon enough.

Eddie zoned out until there’s a very, very soft knock on the door. When he looks up, Jonathan is letting the other 3 kids in while Jeff and Gareth stand in the doorway.

“Is he ok?” Asks Jonathan’s little brother.

Jonathan nods and pats his head. “He’s ok, Will.”

The redhead walks over and takes a silent seat next to Eddie so she’s next to Harrington. She takes Harrington’s hand in hers and proceeds to just sit there and hold it.

“He’s ok, Max. Just a migraine,” the third kid, Lucas he thinks, reassures with a hand on Max’s shoulder.

“That’s what he said before. And then he was in the hospital.”

Woah, what?

“Hm?” Lucas looks at him.

Oh. He said that aloud.

“Wait what?” Robin asked quietly.

Jonathan’s whistled lowly. It seems to be a bit of a tic for him. “Yeah uh— funny story. Hargrove broke a plate over Steve’s head last year and nobody realized how bad it actually was until he passed out after claiming it was only a migraine.”

“He ended up in the hospital for like 2 weeks,” added Lucas.

“He needed several stitches on the side of his head.” Max unhappily supplied. Lucas squeezed her shoulder.

“It was a stage 4 concussion,” muttered Will and Mike put his head on his shoulder.

Eddie caught Gareth and Jeff’s eyes across the break room. Huh.

The Will kid came up to Eddie suddenly. “Thank you. For uh— helping with Steve. It means a lot to us. He means a lot to us.”

Mike, Max, and Lucas all nodded.

“Hang on,” Lucas piped up. “Who are you?”

…

So uh— set myself up for a part 2 there :’D

Part 2

[heartbreakprincewille]

I was rewatching the show from the beginning since S3 is upon ye, and I think this is probably said before but when Wilhelm watches Simon sing for the first time, I can't help but thinking about that look of intrigue on Wilhelm's face when Vincent bullies Simon and Simon defies his rudeness by singing louder. He does not expect Simon to sing louder. He expected a rather subdued reaction from him, because since we pressed play on that episode, Wilhelm is having a subdued reaction to everything around him. He is not allowed to react to anything at all, in fact he is being punished for having a reaction in the first place.

But then he sees this boy being dismissed as a laughing stock for no reason in front of so many people, and he sings louder. Simon does exactly what Vincent says, but he is not entertaining any back-handed mockery from that guy. And Wilhelm notices that. And he is probably thinking about how badass that is, and how beautifully he sings while he turns it all in his favor like a rebel. And for the first time, Wilhelm smiles. He enjoys this little act of defiance, a picture perfect moment. In the spark of a moment, he showed Wilhelm how he can actually see the world, not how he is expected to do.

No wonder he fell in love with Simon in the end.

[dearhargrove]

thirty feet under

Evan Buckley x reader

summary The last thing you expected to see on the news tonight is Eddie trapped under 30 feet of mud with your husband desperately trying to get him out. Knowing how reckless he could get, you drive there after informing Bobby and have a talk with Buck.

word count 4734

tags basically s3 e15, reader and Buck are married, fluff, and hurt :<

a/n I dunno I was just sad watching that episode like the way Buck was immediately trying to dig Eddie up? I'm crying actually. I love these two fr. Yeah wtv I just needed to write something where Buck isn't suffering lmao 😭

masterlist

You've been following the news ever since you first saw that the 118 was at the scene of the small boy trapped in the well. You had nothing better to do, and if you had the chance to watch your husband work? You took it.

What you weren't expecting almost an hour ago was the drastic changes and complications arising as they tried getting Hayden - the trapped boy - out.

The obnoxious news reporter is talking about the weather and what's happening but you've stopped listening long ago. Your eyes were transfixed onto the background where Eddie was getting ready to go down the second tunnel they'd made in order to reach the boy safely.

However, something wasn't right. You don't know if it's Hen’s nervous expression or the overall unease of the team that carries through the screen, but something feels off.

You bury your hands in your hair as you continue to watch. The rain is pouring hard, the mud seems to be making everything worse and there were more firefighters arriving at the scene by the minute.

You're basically praying when the cameraman zoomes past the news reporter and onto Eddie as he's being let down into the hole. Evan is behind the winch, brows furrowed. You could see it on his face too; noone in the team seemed to be happy with this.

Considering they were letting one of their own down a 30 foot drop without fully knowing how stable the ground was, you understood.

For the first time since the broadcast started the blonde is quiet, microphone held at her chest as she watches and waits to see what's going to happen.

You're quite literally on the edge of your seat, knees pressing into the couch table as your hands press together anxiously. You trusted Bobby. He would never allow a plan to go through if it wasn't thoroughly planned and ensured at least a certain amount of safety to his team.

Nevertheless, your eyes move to Buck. He's clenching the remote control of the winch so tight in his hands you're sure if the material weren't as slippery from the rain he would've broken it. He doesn't just look stressed anymore but anxious.

That's a look you don't see often; he's confident and stubborn (arguably stupid and reckless). If he does something he commits to it and he's sure of it. But right now? He's the opposite. Bobby has a hand on his shoulder and you're thankful for his sensitivity to Buck’s feelings, the silent comforting visibly (to you - who could read Evan like an open book) helping him.

“Come on,” you chant under your breath as minutes pass. How could this be taking so long? Wasn't there a limited amount of time Eddie could be down there? You're sure he was wearing an oxygen tank and you remember Evan talking about the limited time that posed.

“And what is that- the rope has seemingly snapped! Neither the boy or the firefighter of the 118 is back up,” the news reporter is almost yelling now and you're thankful for her awful screeching voice as it had made you listen to what she's saying.

Wait. Did she say the rope snapped?

You frown and stand up, unable to keep sitting as you spot Evan’s devastated look as he discusses something with Chim. Oh goodness. This isn't happening. Why is the rope the only thing coming back up?

“The weather is getting worse as the firefighters decide to send down a second one, hoping this time the rope works. We're expecting a thunderstorm and the rain will continue-” you blend her out again as you see Chimney now in Eddie's spot.

“Jesus,” you mumble. He's down in a second, everyone moving even faster than before. Evan had his fists stemmed on his hip, watching the descent of his friend. Knowing him as well as you did, you're almost one hundred percent sure Buck had discussed going down instead - no doubt being shut down by either Hen or Bobby.

You couldn't help but feel glad he hadn't been the one as you could continue keeping your eyes on him.

It's Bobby's eyes which widen first, jaw dropping. Next follow Hen and lastly Evan. There, secured on the rope is Chim with a tiny boy wrapped in some kind of foil that would help him get his body temperature up again. His mother is crying as she welcomes him back into her arms, your lips quirking into a smile at the wholesome scene.

Now only Eddie was missing.

The 118 was discussing something in the back when you decide to text Bobby, seeing Evan being reprimanded by said man.

I'll come over and stay out of the way - just gotta make sure Buck does nothing too stupid…

You text the captain and receive a thumbs up emoji a moment later. You grab your phone, keys and wallet before hurrying to your car and driving there.

When you arrive your glad for the raincoat you'd picked, pulling it tight around your body as you try finding a spot where you wouldn't be in anyone's way.

You find it soon enough, and the first thing you notice is something akin to an argument breaking out between Hen and your husband. You sigh and hope he wouldn't do anything reckless, because by God that was his specialty. Bobby pats his shoulder more aggressively than necessary and points in your direction.

Buck turns around and when he spots you his face practically melts; excusing himself as he jogs over to the fence you'd decided to stand.

“How is it going? Where is Eddie?” You ask almost immediately and Evan sighs heavily before frowning again. You press your thumb against his forehead and smooth out the worry wrinkles, him already so used to the gesture he barely notices.

“He's- he's trapped. He cut his rope for some reason and we can't reach him over the radio. We're sending someone else down to see what happened down there.”

You curse and slide your hand to rest on his cheek. His skin is cold and wet from the rain and you're certain he caught a cold by now.

“You're not going,” you say. It's a question and demand at the same time; you trust him to do the right thing but he easily becomes reckless. He didn't like when you pointed it out, but it was true. It had gotten you two into an argument more than a handful of times but he never ceased to be stubborn when on a call.

“What do you mean? Of course I'm going, Eddie's down there!” He huffs and stiffens, leaning away from your hand on his face in the same notion. “Evan,” you start and he looks up from his feet and into your eyes, the pleading look in his eyes making you melt a little.

“I know you're capable of doing this but-”

“No! I'm capable so why shouldn't I?” He interrupts and you unhappily note the reporter approaching. You glare at him before putting on a fake smile when the woman stops in front of the two of you.

“Do you have a minute?” She asks and you almost roll your eyes at the flirty tone she regards your husband with.

He smiles shortly and excuses himself, looking at you meaningfully before going back to the rest of his team. She turns to you and before you can escape she starts talking, the camera right in your face. Great. You'd been ready for bed when you decided to drive here (and look accordingly) and now you're on national news.

“How do you know him? What did you talk about? There seemed to be some tension.” She makes an oohing noise and this time you can't contain your eye roll. “I was simply talking to my husband. Now excuse me please,” you see the shocked look on her face and she nervously adjusts her hair before turning back to the camera.

“Evan Buckley!” You say loud enough that not only Bobby but Hen and Chim turn around as well, eyebrows raised in surprise at your presence. The one you actually addressed was currently busy getting into a harness.

You stand behind him, mumbling thanks to Bobby when he steadies you as your feet slip on the mud and wet ground. “What do you think you're doing?”

Buck looks at you over his shoulder, red goggles on his face and similar gear to what Eddie had worn. “My job,” he grunts and you sigh exasperatedly. “I see that, I have two eyes.” Frankly you didn't want to be this upset. He wasn't special as in he should get special treatment; the team risked their lives daily all the same.

But you were scared. You'd seen it many times; he'd get an idea and pull through with it, no matter what anyone says or what the odds are. It simply pisses you off that he never thinks of anyone else.

He acts like no one cares whether he lives or dies and that's what's really bothering you, once again as he is getting ready to go down.

The desperation must be visible on your face because Bobby's comforting hand moves to your shoulder and you exhale and look at him, lips quivering.

“I'm sorry I shouldn't be bothering here, I don't know what came over me.” You apologize and suck up the tears stemming from foreboding fear.

He shakes his head, “It's okay, you know we'll tell you if you're in the way.” You nod and wrap your arms around yourself, ready to at least tell Buck you loved him before he went down.

You flinch at the Crack of the thunder. And then there's white sparks everywhere as the lightning strikes the crane, causing the LED lights to fail and cast everything in darkness. There's screaming and you just barely see Buck unclasping his harness before his arms wrap around your waist and he throws himself backward.

You scream as you cling to his arm, utterly confused until the crane creaks horribly and starts falling. It looks and feels as if it's in slow motion but it gets faster the closer it comes and then it lands on the earth with a loud booming sound.

You heave in shock at the whole thing until Buck let's go of you and runs the few steps to the well.

And that's when you see it. Your face falls and your pulse accelerates when there's not one or two holes but none. Someone to your left yells that the ground collapsed and over the ringing in your ears you see Buck kneeling over the spot as he claws at the mud, screaming in vain.

You whimper when the realization comes that Eddie is still down there. Under pounds if not tons of earth with no way out. You Clasp a hand over your mouth as tears fall down your face. Eddie would make it, you convince yourself in order to calm down enough to think rationally - especially to be there for who needed you most right now.

“Baby, come on, you'll save him but you need to come this isn't safe,” you urge as you tug at Bucks shoulders. He resists, muscles straining as he keeps digging only for every hole he makes to be filled with more mud. “Evan, please,” you cry and he snaps out of it, heavily breathing as he turns around to look at you.

He's crying and you can see the pure desperation and fear replaying on his face. “Inside! We need to discuss plans!” Bobby yells and makes a motion with his hand before all of the remaining 118 hurries after him and into the house.

“Let's go, yeah? They're thinking of a way to find him,” you repeat to your devastated husband. He whimpers and tries to say something as he weakly claws at the earth, you shush him and pull him into your chest, uncaring of the mud and dirt covering you both now.

“He'll be okay. You know Eddie. He would never leave Christopher alone.” he shakily nods and moves his hand to your hips to squeeze them. He knocks his forehead against yours and you can feel his exhaustion as he leans fully onto you.

“Buck you gotta calm down and focus. You can do that, right?” He nods dazedly and you move your hand onto the nape of his neck, cupping it to ground him.

“Eddie needs you. Focus. No stupid or reckless decisions.” He manages a tiny glare at you before he closes his eyes and inhales deeply, opening them when he's ready. There's new determination cursing through him as he stands up and pulls you to stand with him.

The pouring rain sticks his hair onto his forehead and you swear he's the most beautiful person to walk this earth. His blue eyes wander over your face and he seems to find what he was looking for when he presses a tender kiss to your lips, nose and forehead.

“I'm sorry I just- I can't lose him. Chris can't lose him,” he mumbles and you nod in understanding. “Shh, I know.” You keep your hand to cup his face for a moment and then sigh, ushering him towards the house. He frowns and pulls you with him but you smile and shake your head, “I'll go relieve Carla. I haven't seen Chris in a while anyway.”

He nods but is reluctant to let you go, kissing your forehead again and mumbling an ‘I love you’ into your skin. You smile and soothe your thumb over his knuckles, “I love you more. Be careful.” You say the last part with a warning but worried tone and glance at him with a small frown.

He huffs amused and pecks your temple before stepping back and adjusting the hood of your raincoat to sit tightly on your head, “I will be. Tell Chris I said hi and that I want to do a sleepover again.” You laugh and he does too for a second until his eyes and expression dull and the looming threat to Eddie's life moves back to the forefront of his thoughts.

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, mumbling something and then looking up again. He begins to say something when a commotion to the side drowns his voice out. Confused you both turn around and his arm slips around your waist to keep you close - a habit you adored.

“What?” You mumble. The huddle of people clears and in the middle is Eddie - his arms are limply slung over two other firefighters’ shoulders and his head is hanging down. His entire gear is dripping wet as if he'd gone for a swim (well technically he probably did… you note mentally as the positive shock wears off). His helmet and goggles are missing, hair sticking to his forehead and most worryingly his eyes are bloodshot and red, earth and mud dirtying his usually clear skin.

“What..?” Evan breathes out and his arm drops from around you as he runs over to his best friend and carelessly pulls him into a hug. You see Eddie's smile as he rests his head in the crook of Evan's neck, sluggishly moving his arms around the others shoulders to hold himself up. The two men who had helped him hover for a second in case their help was needed again but when Evan keeps clinging to the older they retreat.

Then you feel Hen, Bobby and Chimney rush past you - the two paramedics with their first aid bags. You're unsure whether to put your plan from a moment ago into reality or if you could be of help here when Buck starts dragging Eddie along and over to you.

With a stressed sigh you approach them, stopping a foot in front of them with a warning glance, “You both should get in the ambulance and let these two,” you point to Hen and Chim, “do their job. No wandering around, boys.”

Evan pouts and Eddie manages a chuckle that still clearly showcases how tired out and overall done he is but you welcome it nevertheless. “You're like, way too strict. He basically just drowned,” Evan starts, and both you and Eddie roll your eyes - you in fond annoyance and Eddie in amusement.

“Wow. Why do I always get the attitude?” He huffs and side eyes you as he drags Eddie to the ambulance but not before mouthing another ‘I love you’.

Shaking your head you pull down the hood of your coat and nod at Bobby, signaling him you were going to leave now. He nods and turns back to whatever important duties he had now.

After a last glance into the ambulance (where Buck actually sat still for once) you get your keys and drive off. The drive to Chris and Eddie is only about half an hour and when you get there you still see the light in the kitchen on. This was unusual - normally Carla would just watch some TV with the lights off when she waited until early in the morning for Eddie to come back.

You knock on the front door and wait, the older woman opening the door with a wide smile, “Thought I saw you approach. I saw you on the news, you wanna tell me what that's about, girl?”

You laugh and shake your head, reciprocating the warm hug and stepping into the house. “It's pretty boring. Thought I'd spend the night here today, Eddie will probably not be home tonight or tomorrow…” You solemnly explain and she hums.

“Saw it on the news. And.. for some reason he did too,” she sighs heavily and walks you to the living room. And surely there is Christopher perched on the sofa with a worried little frown on his forehead as he watches the news.

You furrow your brows and nod, “Did he see it all?” She nods again and you understand why the little boy wasn't in bed although it was nearing two in the morning when his usual bedtime is nine thirty.

“Chris? Hey, buddy!” You smile and ruffle his hair. He grins at you in that adorable way and you wave at Carla over his shoulder as she grabs her bag and keys. “You wanna explain why you aren't in bed?” He looks a bit guilty but pouts stubbornly. “I saw dad on the news.”

You didn't really need more explanation - you knew Chris worried for his father in the same manner Eddie was probably currently thinking about his son.

“I saw him too. And you know what?” He looks at you with big but tire, dropping eyes. “He's with some nice doctors now and he's gonna be completely fine again very quickly. Doesn't that sound good?”

He ponders for a moment and then slowly nods, “Buck?” A chuckle escapes you and you grin, “He's fine too.”

“Then why were you angry with him?” He asks and it takes you embarrassingly long to connect the dots. The news reporter seemingly had shown your and Evans little dispute earlier. “I wasn't angry with him he was just being stupid,” you shake your head and explain.

Chris hums and looks back at the news report. You bite your lip in thought and then tilt your head, “Do you want to talk to Buck?” Christopher basically lights up and nods eagerly clasping his hands under his chin as you video call Evan - praying he was still with Eddie and that in a few minutes Christopher would be calmed enough to finally go to bed.

“Baby? Don’t worry I’m fine the doctors just checked me out,” he’s slumped in a hospital chair in a way you know will have him complaining about his neck hurting tomorrow and his eyes are just as droopy and tired as the ones of the boy next to you.

“That’s good. There’s someone who really wants to talk to you.” Chris squeezes into the frame and you chuckle before handing him the phone, watching Bucks face light up as he sees him, “Chris! Hi, bud! What are you still doing up?”

Said boy giggles and starts recounting his evening. You start cleaning up a bit meanwhile, getting everything ready for Chris to go to sleep and for Eddie to return home without going straight to cleaning (because he would and that man really needs to rest for once).

The living room gets suspiciously quiet and you put down the kitchen towel and plate to check up on the two boys. “Chris?” Your heart melts when you see him laying down on the sofa with your phone clutched in your hand, still on the call and showing your husband also napping.

You gently take the phone and put it on the table to briskly talk to Evan after putting Chris to bed. Then you put an arm under his back and the other under his knees to carry him to his room. Luckily Christopher doesn’t wake up and you quickly tuck him in before leaving the room with the door opened a bit.

You turn off the lights except for the small lamp next to the sofa and pull a blanket up to your chin with your phone back in your hand.

“Buck?” He grunts in his sleep and the phone slips from his hand until it’s laying on the hospital bed and you huff a quiet laugh.

“Alright, I love you.” You whisper and hang up, quickly texting him to tell you when Eddie would be back.

The next morning you wake up to someone poking your cheek repeatedly and before remembering where you were you almost turn around and continue sleeping.

Then a small but very much insistent voice calls your name.

You squint your eyes at the light streaming in from the sun, the shadow keeping your eyes from being blinded belongs to Chris. “We need to visit Dad.” He decides in a sure voice. You stretch and sit up, reaching out to gently make him sit down as well.

“Visit him? I don’t know if we can yet I’ll have to ask the doctors…” Chris huffs unhappily and you nod in understanding. “I know, but you’ll see him soon.” Reaching for your phone you stop in your tracks when there’s a thump at the door before two voices can be heard throughout the hallway and into the living room.

Christopher looks at you with a confused look and your nervousness evaporates when you hear an exclaimed curse and another voice scolding him after. Well, that could only be your husband and the only one Chris wanted to see right now.

“Dumb and dumber are here,” you whisper to Chris and he giggles. After Bobby had called them that once Chris had picked it up and now it was kind of an inside joke between him and almost all of the 118 - to the displeasure of the two guys.

He holds his arms out and you pick him up, sneaking to the door to watch as one of them seems to try and get the key to fit into the designated spot.

“Let’s let them in?” The boy in your arms nods and you open the door, staring at Eddie and Evan with raised eyebrows. “You guys should never try robbing someone.”

Bucks jaw drops in offense and you can practically see the rebuttal on his face but he keeps it to himself and simply holds up two plastic bags, “We got breakfast.”

Chris is busy reaching for Eddie who seemed a bit unsteady on his feet but other than visible bruises he looked fine. You smile at him and pat his shoulder as he walks inside, kissing his son's head and gently murmuring about something as you focus on Evan.

“Morning,” you finally greet and lean up for a kiss, Evan gratefully giving you one. He grins down at you and then at the boy in your arms, “Chris! Did you protect her all night?” He asks with an exaggerated voice and you laugh and roll your eyes but take the plastic bags with food from him and pass Chris into his arms.

You leave the two to themselves as you look at Eddie and sigh before hugging him, “You scared us half to death yesterday.” He shrugs and grins “What else would I be doing other than stress you guys out?”

Your jaw momentarily drops and he grins with a shrug and fakes sympathy as he pats your shoulder. You two walk into the kitchen to prepare the food onto plates.

“How are you? Be honest,” you warningly add, fully aware of his habit to minimize his worries and pains same as your husband.

“Sore. Probably added some trauma to the collection.” He jokes and you look at him over your shoulder with a glare that makes him laugh. “No really. I’m fine. Just needed some rest and the bruises will go away with time.”

Nodding, you cross your arms over your chest and catch a glimpse of Buck holding Chris up and pretending to be an airplane. “How is he? He was ready to dig the earth up with his own hands when you got trapped.” You sigh.

Eddie nods and shakes his head, “Yeah, no he was pretty worried. I got quite the lecture when I woke up.” You both laugh at that and then you pass him two plates while taking the other two, “Let’s eat breakfast.”

-

When you’re home that evening you both are dead tired and yet Buck insists on carrying you up the stairs and helping you change into your pajamas (though you’re sure that was just for his enjoyment).

“I have tomorrow and the day after off. You know what that means? All day in bed,” he grins as he flops down onto the mattress next to you. With a smile you comb your hand through his hair and smooth your thumb along his temple.

“You definitely need to rest.” You agree and he turns his head to look at you, “Nope. I need you. So you better call in sick as long as I’m off.”

You huff at his demanding tone, raise both eyebrows and lean back on your elbows. The mattress and pillows make you groan in comfort as you concentrate your gaze onto him.

He was halfway laying down on his side with his arm propped up under him. He was wearing some black shorts and a dark blue t-shirt that was too tight around his biceps. His eye bags are worse than usual and you can tell since that night Eddie almost died he hasn't been sleeping well. His hair is an adorable mess and you don't refrain from reaching out and gently carding your hand through it.

He hums and closes his eyes with a small smile tugging on his lips. “I'll call in sick,” he perks up and opens his eyes again, a smirk replacing his earlier smile before you interrupt, “But only because I can actually feel that I'm getting a cold and not because you're asking me to.” He pouts and it goes unsaid by either of you that he played a big part in you taking some sick days.

After all, you usually put your health on the back burner, focusing on your job and other things like grocery shopping. Buck had always had a problem with that, lecturing you whenever he came home to see you passed out on the couch with tissues around you and a mountain of blankets keeping him from being able to throw himself on top of you.

“Alright, baby. I'm gonna be Doctor Buckley!” He grins and sits up, dusting off his shoulders and puffing out his chest. The action makes you burst into laughter and you fall on your back. He takes that as an invitation to lean over you and pretend to check your airways and pulse, pressing his ear over your sternum.

“You're so childish,” you comment and he happily ignores you to convert his checking of your breathing to laying on your chest with an arm wound around your waist.

It grows quiet and there's a comfortable atmosphere as you play with his hair while he snoozes on your abdomen.

Maybe you wouldn't mind being sick for a few days if this is the doctor taking care of you.

[allmoshnobrain]

𝖔𝖋 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖍𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

dean winchester x hunter!reader | word count: 1,7k | requests are open! send yours here

“Sam died, sweetheart,” he whispered, and your heart clenched at his words. Why did he have to call you that right now? “And I made a deal to bring him back. I had to.” “This isn’t funny,” you said, your voice trembling. “Dean, you can’t be serious.” “I’m serious,” he replied, his tone firm. “I wouldn’t lie. Not about this.”

✦ on this fic: dean winchester x reader, fem!reader but this part is pretty neutral, angst, s3 spn plot

✦ a/n: this is my first time writing a reader insert for the supernatural universe. this is super angsty, and other parts to this au may come in the future so feel free to shoot me an ask if you have any suggestions! hope u enjoy the read 🖤

Word travels fast in a hunter’s world.

In a job where information is everything, sharing what you know wasn’t just helpful, but also expected. So, when the Devil’s Gate opened and demons started pouring out everywhere, it didn’t take long before you heard about it. It didn’t come as a surprise when you heard Sam and Dean Winchester had been there when it happened, right in the middle of it. You knew the boys; you knew they had a knack for getting mixed up in every kind of mess that popped up, ever.

What did surprise you, though, was Dean showing up on your doorstep less than a month later.

You knew something was off the second you saw him. First, because he was alone, and honestly, you couldn’t remember ever seeing him without Sam around. But mostly, it was the look in his eyes. As soon as you opened the door, he smiled at you, but his eyes didn’t follow — there was a storm brewing in his green irises, one even he didn’t seem to notice.

“Dean,” you said, frowning as he stood in your doorway. “How did you…”

“Bobby told me,” he cut you off, like it was no big deal, not even waiting for you to finish asking how the hell did he know where you lived. Of course, Bobby had. You sighed — would’ve been nice if Bobby gave you a heads-up, but whatever. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, but… what’s going on?” you asked, stepping aside to let him into your little cabin. It wasn’t much — pretty small, tucked away from the town, and didn’t look like anything special from the outside. Inside, though, was another story. Your eyes flicked up to the devil’s trap right above the door, and you felt a wave of relief when Dean walked right under it. Okay, not possessed. That’s a start.

“Can’t I just pay a visit to an old friend?” he asked, and you raised an eyebrow. Sure, you’d crossed paths with Dean more than a few times — occupational hazard of being a hunter — but something about this felt off. It wasn’t like him to just show up without a reason, especially with everything that had gone down in the past few weeks.

“Dean, what’s wrong?” you pressed, not letting him off the hook. His smile faltered, quickly replaced by that familiar annoyed look he got when he didn’t want to talk about whatever was actually on his mind.

“Why does something have to be wrong?”

You rolled your eyes. “Because you never just drop by for no reason. Where’s Sam?”

“Not here,” he muttered, and you couldn’t help but scoff. “Look, I’m fine. Everything's fine.  Bobby just figured you’d wanna know what went down with the Colt and yellow-eyes…”

“I’ve got a phone,” you cut in, crossing your arms. 

Dean sighed, his usual swagger faltering for a second as he cleared his throat, almost like he was nervous. “And… maybe he also thought I could use some time away from hunting, just for a bit, you know? With someone I… I liked being around.”

He couldn’t even look at you when he said it, a slight blush creeping up his neck. It wasn’t the Dean you were used to seeing, and that made your heart skip in a way you weren’t entirely prepared for.

You blinked in surprise. Dean, shy? Around you, of all people? That was rare. You’d seen him flirt before — hell, he was good at it and he knew it. This wasn’t the Dean you were used to, but then again, he wasn’t exactly acting like his usual self today.

“You’re not a shapeshifter, are you?” you asked, slowly. He huffed.

“No, I’m not.”

“Mind if I check?” You grabbed the knife you always kept strapped to your thigh. Dean just shrugged, holding his hand out. You took it, his skin warm under your fingers, and pressed the iron blade against it until it drew blood. No reaction, a small twitch in his arm muscles the only sign he’d felt anything. 

“See?” he said, his voice a little rough. “Not a shapeshifter, not a demon, just good ol’ me.”

Alright then. As weird as it was, it looked like Dean Winchester had really shown up at your place just to… hang out? You glanced up at him, wiping your knife off on your jeans before sliding it back into its sheath.

“Sorry about that,” you muttered. “Come on, let me patch you up.”

“So,” Dean asked, raising an eyebrow as you finished wrapping the bandage around his hand. “What’ve you been up to? Working any cases?”

“Why do you wanna know? Weren’t you supposed to be taking a break from hunting for a few days?” you shot back, and he chuckled. You glanced up at him. “You know I don’t hunt as much as you guys. I mostly just keep an eye on this area. But it’s been pretty quiet lately.”

“Yeah, well, you take care of yourself, alright? Lots of demons running around lately,” he said. “If you ever need backup, just call me.”

“Thanks,” you replied quietly. “I haven’t been up to much other than keeping an eye on things. Honestly, I was worried about you guys. Heard you were at the Devil’s Gate when everything went down.”

“We were trying to stop it,” Dean said, and you nodded.

“I figured as much. But…” You hesitated. “That’s not exactly what everyone’s saying.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, frowning a bit as he flexed his hand, checking how well he could move it with your bandages. “Who’s everyone?”

“The other hunters,” you said. “They’re saying Sam… and you… you guys made the whole thing happen.”

Dean scoffed, rolling his eyes and running a hand through his hair in frustration.

“And did you believe that bullshit?”

“I didn’t! Just… Please be careful out there, alright? Not all hunters are as friendly right now.” He looked at you for a moment, then let out a sigh and nodded. You hesitated. “Do you, uh, wanna hit up a bar or something? I mean, I’m not exactly living the most exciting life out here…”

“You got a TV and some beers?” he asked, catching you off guard. You blinked a few times before nodding. “Sweet. That’s all I need today. We could watch a movie or something, maybe order in.”

“I can cook,” you chimed in. “I’ve got a wood-burning oven outside... we could make homemade pizza.”

The way he looked at you, it was like you’d just revealed you had the keys to Heaven itself.

You finally figured out what was up much later in the night, while you and Dean were sprawled out in your queen bed.

At first, he had tried to be a gentleman and insisted on crashing on the couch, but you wouldn’t have it — the bed was more than big enough for both of you. No point in him getting a stiff neck just because he wanted to play nice. Sure, you were practical, but you also just wanted him to be comfortable. You could sense something was off with him, even if he kept saying he was fine.

So there you were, cozy and ready to sleep, lights out and moonlight streaming through the curtains, lying on your side and facing the wall as you listened to his deep breathing. You were almost drifting off yourself when he said it.

“I made a deal.”

You opened your eyes right away, twisting in bed to find his face just inches from yours. Your heart raced at the vulnerability in his gaze — the angst he’d tried to keep hidden was now clear as day. It made your heart sink and your breath hitch a little.

“What?” you asked, concern creeping into your voice. Dean closed his eyes for a second, letting out a small sigh.

“Sam died, sweetheart,” he whispered, and your heart clenched at his words. Why did he have to call you that right now? “And I made a deal to bring him back. I had to.”

“This isn’t funny,” you said, your voice trembling. “Dean, you can’t be serious.”

“I’m serious,” he replied, his tone firm. “I wouldn’t lie. Not about this.”

You didn’t answer, just buried your face in your hands, struggling to catch your breath as tears started to well up in your eyes. The reaction shocked you — why did you care about him so much? How could you be terrified of losing him when you were just… what? Occasional hunting partners? Friends?

But he was right there with you, wasn’t he?

Was this why he had come to you?

“I wanted to tell you myself,” he said softly, as if he could read your mind. “I… I wanted to see you. One last time, at least.”

One last time. His words bounced around in your head, and you lowered your hands to face him, confusion scrunching your brow. That didn’t make sense. Demons usually gave you ten years after a deal, so why…?

“Dean,” you said slowly. “How long… how long did they give you?”

“A year,” he whispered, so quietly you almost missed it. “They gave me a year.”

“No,” you said, covering your mouth with one hand as the sobs started to spill out. “Oh, no, Dean, no, no, no…”

He pulled you close, wrapping you tight against his chest as you cried, your arms instinctively clinging to him. Incoherent words tumbled out — trying to apologize for crying, for feeling like a hole had been carved out of your chest. It didn’t feel right — you weren’t the one who was supposed to be feeling this way.

Because you weren’t the one dying.

You cried yourself to sleep in his arms that night. As your sobs faded into tired breaths and your eyes finally closed, Dean felt a sharp ache in his chest while watching your swollen eyes and damp cheeks.

He couldn’t deal with the whirlwind of feelings churning inside him right now. He couldn’t face the regret, the fear, not even that nameless feeling he had for you — because he was too scared to name it, to even acknowledge it was real. All he knew was that he had lied; Bobby hadn’t sent him to you. Things weren’t fine, no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise.

He had come to you of his own choice.

Because when his world was crumbling, he knew you were the only one who could help him pick up the pieces.

Even when everything felt hopeless.

Even when he felt completely lost.

[inklore]

this may be an unpopular opinion and please by all means take my little headcanon with a grain of salt. but i fully believe that before season three, before his seventeen city travel, colin bridgerton was a virgin. which does not matter either way, like who cares. but i think it’s important to note because it goes in hand with his ‘big change’ in s3.

he has stated many times how he has changed and become more himself, even going as far as trying to convince his family in which eloise insinuated he must be lonely, and his mother did not believe it at all. but then when he’s confessing to pen he says he’s tried his hardest to be what society wants him to be, and even got pressed at the guys he went out drinking with because they were acting how society viewed the best way for men to act back then; having a dozen different conquests and bragging about it.

so while many dislike his little threesome scene i think it was him just further trying to convince himself that he was this suave man of society like his brothers and like hey look i’ve grown up i’m no longer the golden boy. (also let’s not forget how annoyed he got with his brothers talking about purpose, this is important ok because with this ‘big change’ he did i fully believe he thought he’d find himself and his purpose)

HE’S LITERALLY JUST AN AWKWRD BOY WITH A MASK ON THAT ONLY CAME OFF FOR PEN OK LIKE THIS IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME I’M SCREAMING!!!

[devotioncrater]

the way ted's depression is just getting soooooo much fucking worse. like the entire episode it's seeping into everything he does. from the opening shot to the shower to how he views his place in richmond to how he handles the team to how he interacts with rebecca to his self-decrepitating jokes in the press room. and the tone of the show in s3 ep1 reflects that — right down to the color grading.

people are saying it felt off and that's because it is off!! it no longer feels like a comedy because ted's no longer living in a comedy!! yes there are moments of respite from the angst and the sadness (re: the richmond boys being himbos, and even the press room to a degree) but that greyed-out vibe is still there underneath everything.

because that is how chronic depression works. you still get on with your day, you still do what's expected of you, you still crack jokes and laugh, but underneath everything there's this feeling of Why Am I Here? ted even voices that feeling multiple times throughout the episode. he's so preoccupied with it that he walks past his apartment — something uncharacteristic of him to do. i think it also is why he's losing his fighting attitude, so to speak. it's not that he doesn't care about winning, it's that he doesn't feel like he belongs at richmond. that's depression, babes!

one more thing, it's telling that the only time we see him be enthusiastic this episode (like how he was in season 1) is when he's mocking himself to the press. i think he's reaffirming every negative thought he's had or heard about himself, but doing it under the guise of a laugh. Dumb American this or Psychotic that. which is concerning because in the past seasons he has had self-deprecating humor, yes, but never to that extent.

i could dissect this episode and it's chronic depression themes much more in depth, but anyways. ted's depression is worsening

[teddypickerry]

Can you do a Jess Mariano blurb where the reader is helping Jess with his homework but he keeps trying to distract her by kissing her lips and neck? 😄 (think of the episode “teach me tonight” but with Jess and the reader dating and he’s kissing her like he kissed Rory in S3 EP10 when they’re walking and kissing)

𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 !

pairing! jess mariano x gn reader

warnings! imply of sex (i think that’s it?)

word count! 833

a/n! took me forever ‘m sorry!!! this is also not my best work but back & writing for my boy is good enough for me. <3

the diner was quiet on the particular evening. despite the typical eight o'clock late dinner rush, the door were locked and a red 'closed' sign hung from the blue painted door. the only sound erupting throughout the small former hardware store was the sound of your voice reciting the words from the textbook balanced on your thighs. you were leaned back in your chair, your legs pressed against the table with the book pressed into them. your hair was falling in-front if your face which kept the attention of the boy who sat beside you everytime you pushed it behind your ear.  "and the trail of tears was what year?"

your head bopped up from its current slouched down position as your eyes caught glimpse of the dark haired boy sat beside you. he was leaned on the table, specifically over his book. his head rested on his palm as he held his head up from falling down in boredom.

"is your hair shorter? it looks shorter." your boyfriend was far from an idiot. but in this moment you honestly doubted him. jess was one of the smartest people you'd ever had the privilege of knowing. hell, he was way smarter than you. but here you were sat helping him with history... and geometry, and biology. it wasn't like you were the smartest person in school, but you got your fair share or a's. plus you knew how serious luke was about his nephew passing the twelfth grade. and you'd do anything to get your boyfriend on a good path.

"1828 and 1829." you explained to him simply before continuing onto the next page, him leaning closer to you. it wasn't hard for the smell of cheap cologne, cigarettes, and luke's laundry detergent to catch your attention. especially when you glanced up at your boyfriend's face far too close to your own. "i like it." he mumbled as he lightly pressed his finger to your face, pushing back the strand of hair that fell once more. no matter how long you'd been together, the small touches and glances still made you go mad. "you liked president andrew jackson's racist speech against the cherokee?"

"no," he rolled his eyes at your statement as you tried to diffuse the way he was making you feel on this tuesday evening. "your hair. it's a good length... and you know — i know all about good length."

his comment resulted in a laugh escaping your lips with a smirk growing on his face. jess felt accomplished for making you laugh, especially when you'd just spent half an hour explaining nonsense to him. "okay cmon, back to work." you ordered as he stayed in his exact position. you were about to scold him for not taking this study date seriously. but you lost time when his lips pressed to yours. your eyes immediately shut as your hands cupped his face. he deepened the kiss and leaned over the table to press into you even more. you found yourself getting lost in the kiss that warmed your soul. but before you could be taken by him, you pushed away and pressed your lips together. "jess, we're studying."

"okay we can study," he nodded as he positioned himself back on the chair and balanced a pencil between his fingers. which immediately caught your attention. "i'll start with the inside of your mouth and you can start with mine."

"jess," you hinted with a tone reaching annoyed. he let his smirk grow a bit before glancing around for a moment. "'mkay tell me more about the Indian Removal Act," he shrugged. you gave him a proud smile and muttered a "gladly" before opening the next page and reciting the next paragraph. you were only two and a half sentences in when you felt him move closer to you. and then some more... then some more.

it was when you finished the first paragraph that you felt his dark curls against your jaw as his lips connected with your neck. his arms wrapped around you as he continued to harass your neck with several kisses that would definitely leave a mark. something jess was certainly good at. "jess! we have to study!”

"no, i think you've got this stuff pretty much down." he mumbled as he pulled away for a second before you felt the feeling of his lips reaching your sweet spot. you held in a breath as you found yourself not fighting the feeling for a moment. "you need to learn this stuff if you're going to graduate, jess. please, work with me." you begged as he drew his face away slowly. just enough so that you could face one another. "and after, if you get a b... you might just get something starting with a b.”

the glow on the boy's face suddenly erupted with slightly wider eyes. he simply sat back as he sat his textbook in his lap, leaving only one arm behind your shoulders. "mkay, teach me tonight."

[echobx]

Timing - JJ Maybank × fem!reader

summary: reader is dealing with losing JJ after he went missing with the rest of the Pogues (end of s2! to start of s3!), leaving her and her heart behind

warnings: angst, visions of drowning (not detailed), delusions and visions because of malnutrition and depression

word count: 1.3k

author's note: I write angsty shit when I'm depressed. it's a theme.

You're curled up in your bed, eyes burning red, nose runny, mouth slightly agape. The alarm clock on your nightstand reads 2:48am and you watch the minutes run.

Your dream has destroyed your peace. Peace as much as anyone can call your state of being such. There is nothing peaceful about the depression you have fallen into, nothing quirky about the way your body trembles at every touch, always reminded of him.

2:49am.

You know you should drink something to regain a tiny bit of strength and maybe fall back asleep, but when you drink you'll just be able to cry even more. So you don't. Maybe if you refuse to, it will end faster.

2:50am.

The branch outside your window keeps knocking against the glass. The same dull noise that his knuckles made almost every night. But you know it's not him. You know he's gone.

2:51am.

Maybe a shower would help. But you'd have to get up for that, so it's a no for the shower. No one there to jokingly say, “you're gonna shower without me, princess?”

2:52am.

If you'd look out of the window you'd see his bike, parked in the same spot where he'd left it that day. Quickly stopping by to tell you about a new lead. Telling you to not worry. Telling you to stay home because it probably meant nothing, and after all, it's too dangerous, he'd kill himself if something happened to you.

2:53am.

And your mind drifts back to sleep, exhausted from the pain and malnutrition.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave you, my love,” JJ is standing in front of your house. He looks as pretty as ever. Cut off shirt, cargo shorts, boots, his favorite red cap on backwards and a sorry smile on his face. But when you jump forwards into his arms you fall and you fall and fall and fall. Drowning, really. Sinking to the bottom of the ocean. His lost treasure, truly.

Maybe that's what you had signed up for unknowingly. A life of pain because you fell in love with a boy who couldn't sit still for the life of him.

“Hey, shhh, it's okay. I'm right here,” JJ’s voice is like music to you and when you open your eyes he's holding you close in his arms.

“Is this real? Are you really here?” you ask, close to tears.

“Of course I'm here. Where else would I be but with my favorite girl,” he laughs softly and kisses your forehead, but you can't feel it.

“This is a dream,” you remind yourself and sit up.

“Does it matter? I'm here now. You have me. Isn't that enough?” JJ asks and you press your hands to your ears and cradle your body, swinging back and forth in your seat.

“Not real. Wake up. Wake up!” you tell yourself and after some time it finally works.

The alarm clock reads 4:21am.

The sun is coming up soon. You think about how real it had felt before he had kissed you. You think about how much more comfortable it had been to drown than to be alive.

4:22am.

Maybe it's the dumbest thing ever, love. It's just too painful. You could do good without love.

4:23am.

Your favorite shirt of his doesn't even smell like him anymore.

4:24am.

In ten minutes it'll be four weeks that your parents had woken you up in panic to make sure you hadn't vanished the same way your friends had.

4:25am.

Your feet carry you to your closet. Getting dressed is methodical.

4:26am.

He left his keys. “So I have no choice but to come back to you, princess.”

4:27am.

You know your parents will wake up when they hear the engine of the bike, so you decide to push it for a bit, down the road and then you can get on.

4:28am.

He didn't park in neutral. Stupid boy. Stupid stupid boy who stole your stupid stupid heart.

4:29am.

The engine is louder than you expected. You see the lights turn on inside your home, but you're already gone by the time your parents have realized what you are doing.

4:30am.

Cold air stings when it shoots right into your teary face.

4:31am.

The sun is coming up in the distance, it's beautiful. You remember doing this with JJ. Staying up all night and driving around to see the sunset and come up again.

4:32am.

You stop at a red light although no one is there. JJ had started touching your ankles on the pegs every time he had to stop.

4:33am.

The Shack is sitting lonely at the sound. The hammock’s empty, the porch lonely and the pick-up orphaned.

4:24am.

Breaking and Entering is illegal actually. Not that you care, you've done worse with JJ by your side. You need a new shirt, maybe the ones in the closet here still smell like him. You need it like a drug addict seeks the next kick.

4:25am.

One month and no life sign. You should stop hoping. Stop wishing. Stop. “JUST STOP” you scream and fall down on the bed.

4:26am.

“I'm not even doing anything,” JJ whispers from next to you.

“Leave me. I don't want to love you anymore. It hurts so much. Please,” you cry and curl up on the bed, holding onto the shirt.

“I can't. You know why,” he whispers, lying opposite of you.

“I don't want it,” you cry and screw your eyes shut.

“All you gotta do is let go,” JJ whispers.

“I don't know how to not love you,” you hush and reach out for him, but there's nothing there. You're alone.

6:34am.

Ghosts don't know how to make dishes clatter.

6:35am.

You pinch yourself before walking out of the bedroom, making sure it's not another dream.

6:36am.

It has to be a dream. Gotta be. No other explanation.

6:37am.

He hasn't turned around yet. It's a dream. It's a dream, has to be. 5.3% chance that he's real, maybe less.

6:38am.

You take the baseball bat that stands next to the bedroom door in your hand. Ghosts don't feel pain.

6:39am.

You don't know what hurts more, JJ's head or your heart.

6:40am.

“Jesus fucking Christ, who the fuck is trying to murder-” he spins around, one hand still holding onto the bat to stop it from hitting him again.

6:41am.

You can hear your head hitting the wooden floor as you go down.

11:57am.

Hospital beds are not comfortable. The lights are harsh. Your head is screaming.

11:58am.

Someone is holding your hand. Rings, familiar ones at that. You blink slowly. How is this real?

11:59am.

“My ghost keeps torturing me,” you whisper and he turns his blonde head around to you. Furrowed brows and blue eyes stare back at you.

12:00pm.

“You got ghosts? Can I get one too?” JJ smiles and you shake your head.

“You're my ghost, there's no ghost who needs ghosts.”

“Could a ghost do this?”

12:01pm.

His lips are pressed to yours and you can feel it. Hot and heavy and not a dream. Not a Dream. Not. A. Dream.

12:02pm.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave like that, and when we came back I wanted to clean up first. But you got to me quicker,” JJ whispers. “I wish I could turn back time and take you with me.”

12:03pm.

I love you's are underrated. You could hear him mumble it against your lips until you die. And when you say it back he smiles wider.

12:04pm.

Your parents yell at you for running out, but you don't care, you have your ghost. And this time, everyone else can see your ghost too. Everyone can see how much he loves you, and you him.

please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~e©ho

taglist: @ijustwantttoread @spideysimpossiblegirl @redhead1180 @princessmaybank @kys4-20 @drwstarkeyy @immyowndefender @julczimozart

[green-alm0nd]

[Hunter x gn!reader]: I've got my mind on you

----

----

Summary:

Omega is safe, Wrecker, Echo and Crosshair are getting the ship. An injured Hunter tries to get you to the ship, but you both accept your fates.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: SPOILERS FOR TBB S3 FINALE, ANGST, CHARACTER DEATH, sad boy hours, comfort, tired and injured Hunter, tired and injured reader, alternate ending for the finale. Not proofread. This is very, very sad.

A/N: I'm just here to feed some angst BUT there's fluff coming I swear-

(Based on this song from Lana del Rey)

Enjoy!

----

The rain made the floor too slippery to walk quickly, especially for someone as injured as Hunter. He had been shot on his stomach and his shoulder and he was losing blood by seconds.

The good thing was, that Omega had managed to run to the ship with Crosshair, where Echo and Wrecker waited for them. He had completed half the mission.

But then, he had to complete yet another mission, saving you. And most importantly, finding you.

All those clones from Project Necromancer had diverted you from the team, and Hunter had been trying to find you. Now, with Hemlock dead, and Omega safe, he had one last wish to make.

He himself knew he probably wouldn't make it, as he was about to pass out and Echo had to arrive at the ship, which had been left on the other side of Tantiss.

He shook his head, focusing on the task at hand.

And that's when he found you, on the floor, coughing blood. You had probably been shot, just like him. He ran towards you, almost tripping several times in the process, but eventually reaching for you.

He gently tapped your cheeks.

"Hey, hey...come on..." He whispered, panting.

Your gaze held his.

"Hunter...? What- what are you doing here?" You asked, coughing blood.

He pressed his hand on your bleeding torso.

"It doesn't matter, I'm gonna get you out of here, okay?" He assured, kissing your forehead.

It took him several times to get you up, but when he did, he headed directly towards the outer hangar, limping with you on his side, an arm around your shoulders.

....

"Hunter- Hunter, stop." You said, coughing blood.

The clone's body was starting to give up, he had lost too much blood. But he had to save one more person. He had to save you.

He needed to save you.

He didn't stop, forcing himself to keep going before he completely gave out.

It took all of your willpower to stop him, and you fell to the ground, blood trickling down your chin. Hunter tried to get you up, but he fell to his knees, panting in exhaustion as you crawled to one of Tantiss' outer walls. You were panting too, too much blood had been lost.

"Hunter, stop." You repeated, wiping your hands on your already stained shirt.

He followed you, looking at your sitting stance, knowing you didn't have much time, just like him.

But he refused to believe it.

"We need to get you to the ship, you...you need to- you need to live!"

You shook your head, your tears joining the storm falling down the facility.

Hunter tried putting pressure on your wounds. He wanted to save you, even though it was the last thing he would do.

He was bleeding too, and his body started giving up, but he couldn't have cared any less.

With an ounce of strength, you grabbed his cheeks and pressed your lips against his; the taste blood, dirt and rain present on his and your lips. Hunter closed his eyes, wishing everything could fade away for a split second.

"We completed the mission: Omega is safe. She's with the rest. We did it, Hunter. We don't need to keep fighting anymore." You whispered against his lips.

Hunter wanted to protest, but nothing came out of his mouth except for a painful moan, his eyes filling with tears.

"But you're part of the mission too." He said, voice breaking.

You gave him a sad smile, cradling his cheeks once more.

"She'll live, Hunter. She'll have a normal life, she will love, and smile, and cry, and survive. She'll live next to your brothers. And it's all thanks to you." You remarked, pressing your foreheads together.

His eyes filled with tears, swallowing the hard lump on his throat. You intertwined your fingers together.

"You can stop fighting, Hunter." You said.

"You've given me what people search for for their entire lives. You've given me a family, you've shown me love to its fullest. I'm so glad that I met you. You've made Omega happy. You've saved your brothers. You can rest."

Hunter realised how tired he really was, every raindrop seeming like a heavy boulder every time it landed on his skin. He sat down besides you, as the blood path you had both carried started fading away with the water.

You leaned on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, and he leaned on your head, your hands still together.

"I...I really wish I could've seen you dance one last time." He muttered.

A weak, tired chuckle left your mouth.

"Would you have danced with me?"

He smiled.

"Always."

He remembered all the times you danced under the Pabu sunset, laughing, smiling, happy that you were home. That memory suddenly turned bittersweet, and so did all the rest of the memories that flew inside his head at that moment.

He kissed your hair, embracing your last moments together.

Your hand was gripping his, as you felt his heartbeat slow down, so did yours.

"I love you." You whispered.

"I love you too." He whispered back, squeezing your hands.

The rain took him back to Kamino, where he first met you.

As the pitter-patter sound from the raindrops seemed to slow down, it became a comforting lull as, hand in hand, you both slipped into the unknown darkness of the afterlife.

----

I feel like a horrible person, what have I created-

Reblogs and shares are highly appreciated <3

My requests are open!

[paradlselost]

FIRST LOVE / LATE SPRING

Black Noir x Reader

⎨ 𝐀𝐍 ⎬ woo angst ! Every time I listen to Mitski I think of him and specifically this song + I Bet On Losing Dogs - though the latter reminds me more of his s3 death. Anyways I hope you enjoy! I love my wife so much omg i would do anything for him one chance please please please please please 🙏

⎨ 𝐂𝐖 ⎬angst , depictions of wounds + burns , no happy ending . set in the payback era . 1.3k words .

A sigh falls from his lips, forehead pressed against your own as his fingers find their way up your arm and to your cheek. His touch is warm against the airconditioned room, his pretty eyes closed to soak up your presence.

He had committed you to memory long ago, every indent and curve found solace in his mind. He was never too far away to retrace you like some sculpture gifted to him by God. He is quiet, the knowledge that you would be in trouble if you were caught with him now, especially like this, weighed on his mind.

His helmet and mask discarded on the desk beside you, allowing himself to be open and honest with you and only you. He is yours, in this dark and empty room, because he can’t be out in the light of cameras and events. But he knows better than to complain about the situation you two have found yourselves in.

“Do you have to go?” Your voice is soft and it draws his eyes open to look at you, to take the sight of you in again and again, drinking you in like a glass of cold water in the scorching hot sun.

He says nothing for a long moment, what could he say? Reassurance is not something he can provide you with, not this time, at least. You look at him - hold him - like he is the greatest thing the world has to offer and it hurts to think you could do better.

You’ll be disappointed in him when he returns. He can feel it in his gut, the weight of his actions he knows he must take. You are the best of him, sprinkled into everything in his life and once he leaves he knows he has to shut you out to complete this. For the rest of Payback, for his superiors, for himself.

He is selfish, he knows.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s not my decision. Trust me, I don’t want to do this at all.” Half truths fall from Earving’s lips, little secrets kept from you that eat him up inside. What is he supposed to say? That he is both dreading and hoping for the day he can take Soldier Boy out?

He’s lying to himself just as much as he lies to you, that with Ben gone everything will be better; that he won’t have to hide and will be able to take a leadership role in Payback - maybe even get that role as Axel Foley that he would’ve killed to play. Some part of him knows, though, that Vought would never let him be anything more than the faceless, voiceless supe. That Ben is only a small fraction of the problem.

But he’ll do it for Gunpowder and the countless bruises and wounds Earving himself has had to hide from you, and he’ll do it for that poor kid that’s cursed with Soldier Boy’s blood.

He can hear the interview down the hall begin to wrap up, and he can tell you can as well by the way you hug him. Tight and worrying, it’s not the first time he’s had to leave for a mission like this, but it feels different. You can feel it in your gut, in your heart that the little white lies he’s been keeping from you are going to boil over, they’ll crawl their way out of whatever hell they’re locked in and grasp at his legs, overtaking him and pulling him down with them.

He knows you feel it, he can feel it too. Earving is not clueless to Voughts practices; and in the very real event of his death he knows they’ll tell you something vastly different than what really happened. That he was a hero, that Noir saved many soldiers and innocents in his effort to stop whatever force overcame them. It’ll be vague, innocent like and he knows you won’t question them to their faces. He knows it won’t help any grief, he knows you’ll know it’ll be another white lie that’s killed him.

“I should go, they’re probably waiting for me.”

“Just a few more minutes…”

“Sweetheart…”

“Come back okay. Don’t - don’t leave me here without you.”

“I’d claw my way out of the deepest pit of hell just to get a chance to kiss you again.”

His words, while sweet, leave a bitter taste in your mouth, even as his lips meet yours. You know in your heart he is not just saying that; that someway that’ll be what he does - claw his way back to you.

And all over again you lose him to the mask and the cameras outside the room, to the cold and unfeeling demeanor he puts on display. Eddie Murphy, Soldier Boy, Black Noir. The cameras shine on them, broadcast them to the homes of billions. The script is sacred, his gloved hand giving a small wave before he walks over to the other members of his team.

Nicaragua. Vietnam. Commies and Capitalists. Farmers and the soldiers sent there to die for the rich. He is not better than those men in their helmets and boots, he is nothing more than a dog in a fight that is not his own.

And there isn’t a call, no man in a suit at the door with papers, no courtesy because you’re not even married. No, the television is the most information you’re given over the weeks he’s gone; and the only way you found out about when he came back. Why would Vought bother to tell you when they could broadcast it?

Payback Returns; Soldier Boy Fallen in Battle and Black Noir in Critical Condition.

The world mourns the loss of their Nazi fighting hero, the man who has been a staple of childhoods for years, someone to be looked up to and admired but you can only cry for Earving; can only push past the security guarding Vought’s medical bay and get yelled at by doctors just to see him.

God, how the scars run up his body. The right side of his face is covered in burns, the top of his head shaved in the area around his stitches and despite his eyes being closed you can see the bulging in one of them.

He is broken, like a small stuffed animal a bad dog had decided to make into a toy. Stuffing falls from his ripped apart limbs, a button eye missing and part of his ear chewed off. He is damaged, but he is still here, and you can stitch him back together good as new. You can love him so hard his other button falls out, hold him till his stitches come undone and he falls apart all over again in your arms.

But he is afraid when his eyes open. He cannot settle back down into the little apartment you both call home and you know this, you can feel it in your heart. He won’t look at you with his good eye when you manage to get him out of that godforsaken mask only to turn around and find it back on.

He is not your Earving anymore. That part of him is left in Nicaragua, in the half of his brain lying on the compound ground cooking in the sun. You were the best of him, now there is nothing left but Black Noir. And you didn’t fall in love with the preformative hero he was now.

So, it’s not surprising when you wake up and he is not next to you in bed, when he is not home at all. At first, some part of you hopes he will come back, but you know that is simply wishful thinking.

Earving is gone, and just like that day you only get to watch Black Noir through the screen. Just like everyone else.

[herejusttosufferalong]

Here are my theories about N/L relationship. I am positive 50% is true, just not sure which 50%! They had chemistry from day 1, became friends and flirty with no feelings showing until the start of S3 filming. They couldn’t help the attraction, everybody on the set saw it and I think J felt it and discussions were had. Up to Sep 22, J referred to L’s mom and sis as MIL and SIL.

L/N were told that feelings may happen due to intensity, long hours, a uniquely shared experience and the roles they are acting. It was recommended for the sake of their careers they should wait and see if the feelings last. So ends, S3 filming. L goes to his Raya, young girl, vacay mode and ends up with A, who is a close friend of S. (I will not bring his SM fiasco from last year. That boy is just not savvy or astute enough to use SM to his professional advancement!) N starts dating E in April of last year. All is relatively hunky dory. Come Jan and PR training. They probably were just told to let go and let their natural chemistry shine, because PR people are not idiots! And boy, did they. A sees this and probably feels it too and starts to make some demands. She wants to be known as his gf and have an increase in her SM #, so she can monetize it. She posts Hotel locations, etc because they get to stay there at a reduced cost at the least. (The Soho vacays are just brag. L is the member, the rest are just friends that can go with him, but not alone). I am sure to a certain degree, A orchestrated the In Style fiasco.

Feelings get more confusing and complicated with N/L during the WT. A surprises L at the NYC premiere. He doesn’t seem thrilled about it, introduces A as a friend. During the A/N ‘intro’ and hug, A says she thinks N is funny! (She is, but an odd thing to say to your bf’s costar at an after party). Have no idea what other things happen behind the scenes, but all of us fall in love with Lukola. If they had had a wedding reception at the end of the London premiere, nobody would be surprised and there would be puddles of goo worldwide from our collective swooning.

Instead we got the pap pix.

Whoever arranged this is the single most evil and unromantic person in the world. We didn’t even get to watch part 2 and we were slapped hard and left confused. A can do whatever she wants, she will never have chemistry with L.

L got the backlash and N came to his rescue with a very sweet declaration. I think the SATC clip which was done during S3 filming was maybe supposed to bring the narrative to the show and funny things? or maybe N was upset by L’s behavior or inaction? I like to think N is not petty, but who knows. She took it down, because the comments went in the direction she wasn’t expecting. (She still needs to learn TT over Insta, they are different beasts.)

Apparently, E exited at some point. Maybe the romantic engagement dinner DM reported was actually a breakup?

Your post on LaLa land, I felt was too on the nose. With this current mess, maybe their professional advancement means no HEA. He did make a post and put LaLa Land?! She has made her career her priority. She is a Hamilton fan, she is not going to throw away her shot!! Is he subconsciously ruining his career? Does he just want to be in her presence and light? Can they work it out?

I brewed more coffee and am sitting at the restaurant with the rest of you. I just ordered a stack of pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream.

Your thoughts?

"Apparently, E exited at some point. Maybe the romantic engagement dinner DM reported was actually a breakup?"

It wasn't until recently that I considered they actual broke up or took a break around Nov/Dec '23 and then rekindled Feb/Mar '24

But that Nic sighting posted by DM was in Jan '24, no?

Maybe they reconnected sooner and then finally parted ways in Mar or early April

I know folks like to say that N wasn't as flirty or obvious until the end of the press tour but the April press junkets and livestream was something else

[matan4il]

Buddie 616 meta

Maybe I’ll start with Eddie confirming something I’d already discussed in my meta posts more than once before, most recently in my 614 meta, which is that he married Shannon because she got pregnant. He heavily insinuated this to Bobby back in 217, but now he said it explicitly, to everyone, and without the same kind of weight which we saw from him in the past. I think this change is indicative of how he IS healing from the trauma of how badly his marriage failed and how guilty he’s felt over it, now that he’s capable of talking about it more lightly than he did before. I love that for our boy. ~~

Speaking of these men actually being boys, moron husbands, partners in dumbness, we got Buck and Eddie sharing one brain cell and NOT putting it to good use. Even though in the overall scheme of 911 things, that might not seem that significant, I have to say I just love seeing them like that. It’s FUN seeing them being morons who support each other in the way they try to deal with Chim thinking that just popping the question to Maddie is enough, or in Eddie supporting Buck’s dumbass suggestion of a flash mob, or just being pressed together in the fire truck ‘coz they never have any personal boundaries with each other and they don’t understand why those would even be needed (seriously, don’t think too long about how all of a sudden five people had to squeeze in the back instead of four, and OF COURSE it would be Buck and Eddie rubbing thighs together, because no other pair out of the whole team is as comfortable with each other’s bodies). This may not be the deepest part of their bond, but it IS a part of it, a consistent one, the daily partnership that’s the foundation for the big, important, profound parts. ~~

Once again, we get a demonstration of how the way Buck and Eddie are with each other is different to how they act with their other friends. Even when Eddie is exasperated with Buck, he never actually gets upset, he just tries to get Buck to focus, like we saw him in 516. But with Ravi, Eddie does kinda snap.

Buck as well, when he hears some unpleasant truths about Madney from Hen, there’s no fondness underlining their talk, as much as we know that they DO love each other and have a sibling-like relationship. But compare that to how insufferably affectionate the glances that Buddie exchanged in 504 were as Eddie did essentially the same thing for Buck. ~~

And then of course, we see how Hen has Chimney’s back in this ep, putting his well being first, but she does end up hurting him. They talk it over, and within the same ep she apologizes, he forgives her, everything is resolved, and they move. It’s lovely, but think about the difference in intensity between this and what Buddie went through back in s3. Buck files the lawsuit that would stop him from seeing Eddie in 304. Then the very reserved Eddie has a public meltdown, in the middle of a store, and right in front of his colleagues, because he can’t deal with Buck not being in his life. In fact, that’s the final straw that makes Eddie turn to street fighting. Not only that, because the intensity of his feelings overwhelms him, he doesn’t even directly express his hurt, he uses Chris to convey how much Eddie himself is missing Buck. When Buck realizes just how much pain he unintentionally caused, he wants to apologize, but Eddie is too hurt to be able to hear him out right away. It’s only in 306 that they finally talk, Eddie forgives Buck and then we get the beauty of their hug. But this is STILL not the final piece, no. The show will get back to this in the kitchen scene in 309, where Buck shows Eddie he’s worth apologizing to a second time (even though he’s not even asking Buck to), and the final shot of this is the domestic image of Buddifer on the couch, playing video games together. This is when we know that all is TRULY forgiven, when we get to see them once more as a family unit. Because that’s what they are on top of being best friends, like Hen and Chimney. ~~

I’ll point out that Madney and Buddie paralleling is not new. This has been an ongoing theme since Buck and Chim’s new love interests were both introduced in 201, and since Madney got their onset in 206. The very fact that Maddie thinking Chim’s cute is revealed through a dialogue between the Buckley siblings that also indicates Buck sees Eddie in the same light says it all. I have also gone on about how Buck and Maddie served as truth tellers, voicing their sibling’s crush back to them, I have talked about how Madney were friends first, incredibly domestic friends with their own intertwined routine, before they became explicitly romantic, I wrote a whole meta post about the parallels between Madney and Buddie in 512, and now I can add to this. Because Madney easily fell into the comfort of domestic life, Chim told us this week that got in the way of them stopping to make their commitment official. That’s in a sense Buddie’s story, too. They’ve been building their lives and family unit together without even clocking that they can and should stop to figure out what this thing between them is, and commit to it.

~~ (my weekly meta posts) (my Buddie gifs) (all of my content)

~~ ~~ My tag list will follow in the reblog, please let me know if you wanna be added/removed here.

~~ I’m so thankful to the amazing @whosoldherout​​ for the meta gifs she does each week! They’re always challenging, and you always manage to knock it out of the park!

~~ Thank you to anyone supporting these meta posts. I could never express enough how grateful I am and that they continue to exist thanks to you!

[somedayillbepeterpan]

I have thought about Colin Bridgerton every single day since June 13. I love him so much, he plagues my mind. If you have been here for a while, you know that I've been lauding how Luke Newton has played Colin brilliantly and I will continue to pile on that praise because I cannot resist this pookie bear.

So, here's my favourite S3 smiles of my favourite sweet, soft boi. He progressively shows his toothy smile less and less from the latter part of S1 and S2 and beginning of S3 so I adore it when I see this smile. I just love love love when I see Luke Newton's toothy smile. He doesn't do it often when you carefully look at all the press tour photos and interviews.

I'm working on S1 and S2 smiles, too. Stay tuned!

S3E6 - Romancing Mr. Bridgerton He just made one of his dad jokes to Pen and made her smile. Nothing spells in love like this sweet, shy smile

S3E6 - Romancing Mr. Bridgerton Possibly the biggest smile I've seen on him when Pen tells him that she's always loved him. Gaaah, I can drown in this smile forever. It's this smile that makes the angst in the latter part so hard to watch. This pookie bear, in pain??? It was definitely hard to go through seeing the pain and confusion in his face.

S3E6 - Romancing Mr. Bridgerton His smile every time he twirls his two apples wife (I'm sorry for cutting Pen's face). That is the look of a fulfilled man.

S3E7 - Joining of hands I saw an interview (not sure which one) where Luke elaborates on the emotions he played Colin in throughout the wedding. He said that he just let him be swept up in the joy of the moment and that is why we get this beautiful wedding smile. Look at those eyes! We knew the conflict they were in but this is one of the hard evidences that he would never, ever give up Pen.

S3E8 - Into the light (sorry for the grainy gif. this was zoomed in at max capacity) Every single dance they've had (even the wedding one), Colin would display his truest emotions. It's why they have 5 dances throughout the season as compared to Saphne and Kanthony's 2 each (if I'm remembering correctly). This last dance, where he finally settles in his emotions saw him the happiest as evidence on the next gif.

S3E8 - Into the light Look at this pookie's face! It's the first smile where he closes his eyes fully-- embracing the joy he's feeling. This and the next gif's smiles are my absolute favourites. I can stare at this smiling face all day.

BONUS

S3E5 - Tik Tok To the sweetest sex scene I've seen in my life, I will never get over you. Because you give me this man's absolutely smitten face. And those fiery eyes??? Are you kidding me? I can make essays about the mirror scene. That intimacy is not easily replicated and I'll always compare this scene to every other intimacy scene I see on screen from now on.

(Stunning work from Luke and Nic)

I cap this post off with this RMB quote:

“I love you for every one of my smiles, and even more, for every one of your smiles.” - Colin Bridgerton to Penelope Bridgerton Excerpt From Romancing Mr. Bridgerton Julia Quinn | This material may be protected by copyright.

[baurbiediv]

we’ll be alright

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

summary: following the aftermath of you and jj’s upsetting breakup, he’s determined to set everything straight and have you back by his side, but what you feel isn’t the same way jj feels, but he’s not ready to let you go, not yet.

pairing: jj maybank x ex!gf reader

warning(s): language, mention of cheating, jj still being very painfully stupid and painfully in love with reader, fluff if you squint, takes place in s3 (switched some things around for the usual outer banks theme)

authors note: long overdue & possibly the longest fic i’ve ever written?? + it’s been a bittersweet road down this ‘hate to be lame’ series, i’m so glad you all enjoyed it as much as i did, without further ado, let’s wrap this thang up!!

authors note ²: italics represent flashbacks, bolded italics represent emphasized words, somewhat based off fine line by harry styles

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

the humid wind of the outer banks had been blowing softly against your skin, the faint light of the setting sun could be seen vividly as you sat on the creaky old porch steps of the chateau.

the entirety of the pogues had been teetering on the edge of completely falling apart, with john b and sarah’s relationship was on the rocks, then you and jj being no longer together.

the entire friend group was crashing down on each other, you’d grown distant from them when it was first revealed that you’d parted ways with the blond boy.

nobody would’ve ever seen it coming, the two of you tried immensely to salvage what remnants of your relationship that was left, but it didn’t work.

ultimately, you both split your ways. for a while the pogues had no clue what was going on, they thought you needed some time for yourself for personal reasons, until, jj had told them the truth.

-

“i hate to tell you guys like this, but me and y/n are uh .. we’re not together anymore. it was kind of a ‘mutual’ agreement between the both of us.” jj said, twirling his thumbs around each other, he couldn’t bring himself to see the looks on his friends faces, the gut wrenching sensation of silence was heavy and thick in the air.

“wait, jayj, you’re being serious?” sarah asked him as she leaned against the old wooden door of the porch, she thought it was some sick joke at first, but the look jj gave her, the hint of worry became very obvious on her face.

jj just simply nodded, “come on, you guys have been through so much, we can’t lose y/n and we can’t lose you either jj.” pope now replied, putting a hand on his friend’s shoulder in an attempt to console him.

“no, pope, you don’t understand how badly i fucked this up.” jj spoke up as he moved away from his friend, john b was past worried at this point.

“enough of these cryptic ass messages jj, what did you do?” john b pressed him, knowing this was obviously a fragile subject for his friend to be talking about.

cleo noticed the change in jj’s physical appearance, he sat upright from his previous slouched position.

“i cheated on y/n .. with kiara.” he spoke lowly, kiara’s figure caved in as she looked down at the porch floor.

the looks on the rest of the pogues faces just as similar to the others.

“wow jj, way to go.” cleo clapped sarcastically, pope and kiara both shot her a glare.

“look i don’t know why you’re giving me that look, you’re just as guilty kiara. you knew that was wrong.” cleo bit back at the two before crossing her arms.

-

“with the way he keeps looking, his eyes might just literally fall out of his face.” cleo said as she peeked back at the boy who’d been playing volleyball past however many minutes.

you simply shrugged, not wanting to mention anything about the boy you’d had past relations with. it wasn’t that jj was a bad guy, he just made one really bad mistake that caused him to lose the thing that he loved the most; you.

at some point in time, you’d thought about forgiving him, but at what cost? on that exact night, jj and kiara had known exactly what they were doing.

“i know it still feels weird for you to be around them, you’ll come around eventually.” she added before slinging an arm around your shoulders, you smiled at the gesture.

“i know i know, it’s a bittersweet feeling when it comes to him. he treated me well, but he kissed my alleged best friend and she couldn’t even tell me.” you exhaled, cleo nodded.

“i get it girl, trust me, it’s not something easy to get over, but i know you well enough to see you get over this like it’s nothing.” cleo chimed in, she was right, no matter how much your heart yearned for him deep down, you couldn’t put yourself in a position to be where you once were.

“thank you cleo, i really do mean it. thank you for not letting me go crazy.” you laughed as you looked over at her.

“if i let you go crazy, then we all go crazy,” she cheesed, “now come here!” she said before engulfing you in a tight and comforting hug.

the two of you pulled away from the hug and walked back to the makeshift volleyball net that john b and pope had made.

“hey! we got dibs next!” cleo yelled to everyone else, john b and sarah smiled seeing the both of you come into view.

“y’all ready to get your asses beat?” sarah spoke as the ball rested between her arm and her side. cleo and you gave each other a look before turning your gazes back over to sarah.

“when was the last time you beat this duo in volleyball?” you spoke up, pope smiled as he chimed in, “literally never.”

you clapped at his words as you and cleo walked up to the net, “heads we serve, tails you serve!” sarah smiled, pope pulled out a coin from his pocket as he flipped it, heads.

“oh come on that’s gotta be rigged in someway.” you said out loud groaning and throwing your hands up in the air. sarah shook her head, “don’t hate the ref! hate the game!”

the blonde said as she laughed and tossed the ball back to john b, who was ready to serve the ball. you watched as the ball was tossed up into the air and made it’s way to your side, you set the ball up as cleo spiked it, which smacked john b directly in his eye.

your hands clamped over your mouth and so did cleo’s as you looked at each other in an attempt to stifle your laughter, pope’s giggling could be heard loudly and so could sarah’s.

the brunet boys body laid on the ground dramatically, you and pope collectively sent a look so each other as you helped john b up off the ground and helped him into the chateau.

you could feel jj’s eyes burning a hole in your back but you refused to acknowledge it as you focused on your best friends attention.

“has anyone ever told you how dramatic you are john b?” you yelled from the kitchen finding him an ice pack, the question was followed by a groan and ‘no but thanks for telling me.’

you patted his shoulder before leaving the house with pope, “that was a nasty spike cleo.”

“hey hey, maybe if he put his hands up he wouldn’t have gotten hit!”

-

the next morning rolled around, you woke up on the couch next to sarah, you couldn’t recognize the feeling of the light blue fuzzy blanket or where it had come from but you were thankful for it as the light morning breeze had flown in through the slightly cracked window.

the sound of the fridge door closing snapped you out of your thoughts, to your dismay it was one of the last people to wanted to talk to, jj.

his bedhead was very prominent, yet the only thing you could focus on the way his sharktooth necklace that rested oh-so delicately on his chest.

you remembered the fabricated lie he told you about how he got it when you first met him.

“take a picture, it’ll last longer.” he said without looking your way. you rolled your eyes before sitting up and rubbing the sleep away from your eyes, “please shut up, you cheat-“, john b emerged from his room at almost the perfect time, cutting you off.

“please put your claws away, it’s boat day and i don’t want to hear you two bickering all day.” he mumbled, walking past jj.

you smacked your lips together, “well he started it! -“, john b turned towards you, “and i don’t wanna hear it.”

jj snickered behind his friend as the brunet turned to his friend, “cut it out jj.” the blond threw his hands up to his sides as if he was the innocent one.

you got up from your spot on the couch as you made your rounds to wake everyone up and to your surprise it was easy. you walked out the chateau and down the old porch steps with sarah and cleo laughing about who knows what. john b & pope followed behind with kie and jj.

“you know you wouldn’t be able to ignore her forever. right?” pope said loud enough for only for the four of them to hear which made both kie and jj stop in their tracks and turn around.

“look i know but it’s gonna take some time for me to y’know, say something..”kie mumbled, kicking the dirt. john b looked at jj for an answer, to which he got no reply.

“jj, y/n really loved you and you loved her, and for you to sit here and not say anything is kinda crazy considering you cried day and night when you lost her.”

this had the boy shaking his head and shoving his finger into his friends chest. “you don’t get to bring that up jb. it’s not your place and you know that.”

the stomach churning feeling of guilt and broken trust was heavy in between the four of them. “guys let’s go!” you yelled out from the dock already loaded up on the hms pogue, you waved to the others.

“think about what was said.” pope spoke up before leaving to the boat.

-

boat days were truthfully some of the best days you’d had. being out on the water with the some of the people you love loved. the sound of your screams and laughter along with the sounds of sarah, john b, cleo, and pope’s laughter could be heard throughout the marsh.

jj’s eyes followed your every move, it’s almost as if he was jealous of the way your smile shined brightly when you weren’t around him, his heart crumbled at almost the way you looked when you weren’t smiling his way.

the boy didn’t know why he was acting like this, he felt himself spiraling. being in love with someone was never a thing that crossed his until he met you.

a hand on his shoulder snapped him out of his thoughts, he looked over to see a concerned kiara, “you okay?” she said, almost in a whisper.

the boy shrugged as he turned back around and rubbed his hands across his face.

“you can’t act like you hate her forever j. pope and jb were right, and i know it’s hypocritical of me to say that.” she said, the boy sighed deeply and kiara frowned, “you can act mad all you want but you know deep down that you still love that girl. we all know it, i’ve got my rounds of apologizing to do and so do you. so get to it.”

the brunette girl said before patting his shoulder and jumping out of the boat into the water to join everyone else.

“this is gonna be a long night.” he groaned.

-

the group all piled into the cat’s ass as you prepared for a night of what is hoped to be filled with fun. just about everyone had been on their 2nd or 3rd drink of the night and it had been made clear that someone would wake up with a real bad hangover the next morning.

you sat with sarah while giggling over the boys who huddled together and where swaying side to side. “what are the odds that pope’s the drunkest right now? 1 through 5.” cleo says holding up cups of fruit punch and hands them out, kiara right by her side.

“4.” you blurt out.

“3.” sarah says, taking a sip from her cup.

kiara laughs as pope turns around, his leg poked out to the side and his hands right on his hips, following a look of ‘i did not just hear that’. you looked at the boy, but you couldn’t tell if he was actually offended or just simply being dramatic.

the boys made their way over to the cat’s ass and they all slip in with no ease. you were mid conversation with sarah before you felt splashes of water and an arm brush against your back.

obviously, you’d had your back turned to the foreign body but you already knew who it was. sarah could see the visible change in your face when she recognized who it was.

“hi y/nnnnn.” the boy slurred as he rested his chin on your shoulder and wrapped his arms around your waist. the water from the hot tub now going cold.

you send sarah a look of help, her lips spread into a thin line as she mouthed you a ‘good luck’, knowing she’d have to deal with john b. everyone had left the cat’s ass at this point, just leaving just you and jj.

knowing you couldn’t ignore him forever, you put on your big girl panties and suck it up. “hi jj.” you said, you had felt like your mind was truly running a mile a minute.

it would short circuit as you thought of the multitude of things that could come out of his mouth in this exact moment.

“has anyone ever told you how pretty you are?” he murmurs before the tip of his nose lightly digs into your shoulder.

drunk words are sober thoughts, or so they say.

“yeah i have actually, by this blond kid, i know pretty well.” you sigh as jj huffs somewhat very loudly. your eyebrow raised at the sudden change of the boy’s mood, “can he fight?” jj questioned.

the laugh that erupted from your mouth was unexpected and loud, you quickly put your hands up in defense. “woah maybank,” you said before standing up and setting your drink down, “time to wind down now.”

you leaned down slightly to help the boy out of the hot tub, his arms reached up to grab at your waist once again just to pull you down into his lap, his grip on you tight and keeping you grounded in his lap.

“don’t leave.” he whispers, your hands wrapped lazily around his neck, you felt guilty.

you told yourself many times you’d stay away from this for the benefit of your own good.

his head leaned further into your chest, your hand planting itself in his hair, smoothly running your nails across his scalp lightly.

“i’m not leaving j, i promise,” you sighed and placed your chin on the top of his. “now, let’s get you in the house and to bed, safely.” you said, making sure to put emphasis on safely.

the worst thing that could happen now would be one of the pogues spotting you and jj going into his room. by the looks of it, the living room lights had been turned off, which meant that it was lights out, everyone was asleep.

jj followed behind you languidly, his heavy footsteps quieter than usual. getting past the front door was the easiest part, getting him to the bedroom was the more difficult task of this all.

the creaky floor boards made your presence well known had anyone in the house been up. jj looked over his shoulder, kiara on one end of the couch fast asleep, pope & cleo asleep together on the other end of the couch, wrapped up in that same stupid light blue fuzzy blanket.

your footsteps hurried their way to jj’s bedroom, you closed the door. you had to forcibly sit the blond down on the bed, after quietly arguing with him over you staying in the room, you knew full and well you’d be out the room the minute he was out cold.

you’d walked into the bathroom and grabbed a clean rag, you ran some warm water under it and brought it back to jj. he was sprawled out on the bed, one hand on his chest and the other out and to the side of him.

you sat down next to him and wiped his face, he immediately moved his head. you obnoxiously rolled your eyes and grabbed his face, causing you to now turn your body.

“it’s not even cold!” you whisper shouted and continued to wipe his face as quick as you could before he started whining again. his hand lazily made its way to your thigh, his hands on his rough, just like they had been when you first got together.

you set the towel aside on the nightstand, your hands softly cupped jj’s face and your thumb softly moved back and forth over his cheek, you noticed as we that had been slowly healing for quite some time now, it wasn’t the time to ask, nor was it your place.

the feeling of his hand was still very real and warm on your thigh, every minute that passes by almost feels too good to be true.

“y’know i’m sorry, right?” he says as his eyes look directly yours, this was probably the first time you’d gotten anywhere close to an apology from jj, and it could be the last one and you’d much rather get this apology now than when he is when he’ll be sober.

“i know you are j, i know.” you tell him but he slightly shakes his head.

“no, seriously y/n, i fucked up big time, you know it, i know it, and so does the whole group.” he finally admits, to him it feels like a weights been lifted off his shoulders.

“i really wanna make things right with you, can we, y’know try again? me and you?” he questioned and you smiled.

“i’ll think about it j, until then please get some sleep, yeah?” you momentarily hesitated before pressing a soft kiss against his lips as his hands inch his way back to your hips.

you softly pull away before sitting up, “goodnight maybank.”

“g’night y/l/n.”

you smiled and got up to leave the room, closing the room behind you, what a night.

-

“you’ve got to be fucking serious right?” you nearly scream, you’ve never wanted to pummel your fists into someone’s face more.

john b waiting to hold you back at any moment. “y/n, it’s not really that big of a deal!” kiara yelled back at you. to make things clear, it was that big of a deal, you thought that after the moment you and jj had last night, he’d stick to his words.

“you’re real untrustworthy kiara, that was real grimy of you.” the words came out of your mouth not giving a second thought.

so let’s do a quick little run down; last night kiara snuck in his room just hours after she’d made sure you were asleep, turns out, they had actually fucked.

only way you found that out was the poorly covered burgundy mark right on her neck, it hadn’t been that difficult to put the clues together.

you looked at jj and shoved your hands into his chest, causing him to stumble back a little. “thank you for showing me that it costs you nothing to do better jj.” the disheveled blond clearly didn’t think this ‘elaborate plan’ would’ve actually worked, it was the stupidest fucking fool-proofed plan known ever.

you shoved him again, “do you get off to making me look stupid? is that fucking it?” you spat, jj groaned, and in an attempt to stop you from shoving him.

“will you please just listen to me. i can explain.” his hands grabbed your arms and this only pisses you off even more.

you did your best and fought to get out his grip, “i don’t want to listen to or hear another word that comes out of your mouth because everything that comes out is a lie.” you felt like you could physically feel your throat start to close up, the dam in your eyes broke and the tears flooded like there was no tomorrow.

john b couldn’t stand there and watch one of his best friends break down like this, so he gestured over sarah and cleo as they took you to the twinkie and got you inside.

sarah hopped into the driver’s seat as she pulled off, you should’ve known better than to trust what jj says. yet here you stand, the same place you stood when he first broke your trust, it was way too good to be true.

the love gods were definitely not on your side and wouldn’t be on your side any time soon, what did you even do for them to not like you? who knows.

you don’t know when the van tatted moving but you sure were notified when it came to a screeching halt as you were launched into the back of the passenger seat face first, the loud thud made your impact known, hearing gasps from the two girls who sat in front of you, they quickly turned around as they saw you laid out on the twinkie floor.

“y/n, holy shit! are you okay?!” sarah said as she got out and rushed over to the other side and opened the door. you groaned and sat up, rubbing your face, a poor attempt to get rid of the pain, which only made it worse.

you looked up at cleo and sarah who were giving you a ‘ouch’ kind of look, “how bad is it?” you sighed.

“bad.” they both replied.

-

you walked along the streets of the mainland, holding a bag of frozen peas to the side of your face.

“y/n i’m really really sorry.” sarah said, the guilt wavering in her voice.

you laughed, “sarah, i promise you it’s okay. it’s probably gotta be the highlight of my day!” if cleo and sarah hadn’t known you as well as they did, then they’d definitely thought that you were insane.

you saw the looks on their faces, “guys please don’t. you’re doing that thing you guys do when you know what i’m thinking about.” you frowned and sat on a nearby bench, dropping the peas into your lap.

the girls plopping down on either side of you, “i feel so incredibly stupid.” you spoke as tears dropped down onto the fabric of your jeans.

both girls hugged you, words would’ve never been wrong express how thankful you are for them.

“you’re an incredibly strong girl y/n, you don’t need him to be happy. your first job is to prioritize yourself over anyone else’s needs.”

sarah told you, you nodded as cleo’s hand came up to your face and wiped your tears away, “we wouldn’t sit here and tell you it’s true if it wasn’t.” cleo told you and you nodded.

“what would i do without you guys.” you said you pulled them into a tight hug.

“you know we got your back forever girl.” cleo says.

once you made it back to the chateau, the three of you got out the twinkie uncontrollably like a bunch of kids. in the distance you could smell the bonfire, “guys oh my god i could really go for some s’mores right now!” sarah said as she patted her belly which made you and cleo both laugh at the same time as the three of you walked over to the billowing smoke and found john b and pope sitting on a log.

“what’s going on here?” cleo asked, the boys turned around, looking like they’d been through it all.

“my god what the hell happened to you guys? where’s kiara and jj?” sarah asked, examining jb’s face for any bruises, only to find a small scratch just above his eyebrow.

you mentally rolled your eyes at the slight mention of both kiara and jj’s names, you quite honestly wanted nothing to do with them.

if timing couldn’t have been any worse, the roaring sound of a bike engine catches everyone’s attention forcing them to completely turn around in unison, who else to make an entrance like that other than the infamous jj.

“oh you’ve seriously got to be fucking kidding me.” pope groans in annoyance and throws his hands up in the air before getting up. jj takes his helmet off before tossing it to the ground and getting off his bike, turning the engine off.

jj eagerly makes his way to where you all are and stops in his tracks, he was messing with his knuckles or possibly punched something or someone, his knuckles were battered and bloody.

“and where the hell have you been!” pope exclaimed, seeing pope this angry was something out of the ordinary for you. the blond was at a lost for words, this time he look like he’d truly been hurt by someone or something.

“let me tell you something about yourself man, i get it none of us are perfect, but the way you flipped out on me and jb? not cool man, not fucking cool. and you know it too.”

pope said, you could feel the anger radiating off of him. you could visibly observe how much of a nervous wreck jj was in this moment. “hold on pope, something’s off, real off.” you spoke up, not sure if you should speak behalf.

“what’s going on with you jj?” you said, his eyes were full of worry. he knows that he’s messed up and he himself isn’t sure if his friends, the people he needs and loves the most will ever forgive him.

“i got into some shit with my dad a-and we fought-“ the slam of a car door grabbed everyone’s attention and whipped towards the sound, it was kiara, hopping out her car and towards the rest of you.

before anything else she saw jj’s face as her face dropped. her hands came up to his face, the rest of you watched in confusion, you rolled as you walked away, refusing to see the couple in front of you.

your life truly couldn’t have gotten worse in those last few minutes.

-

your legs dangled over the dock as you watched the moonlight hit the water. looking out, you could barely see anything within 20 feet of you.

the wind carried a cold breeze that brought goosebumps across your arms. suddenly you heard footsteps to the side of you, jj.

you groaned out loud and got up, “no! please y/n, sit, please.” he begged, you shook your head and put a hand in front of you, he could see that you were tired, physically and emotionally.

“i don’t want another apology from you jj, every time you promise me something it goes way left. the other night sealed it all, no one else took care of you but me. why do you keep doing this to me? what did i do? you hurt me on levels no one could ever imagine.”

the feeling before you cry all too familiar, the sudden lump in your throat and the salty tears that overflow your waterline.

“y/n, please-“ he tried to hold your hand but you pulled away.

“you never loved me, you enjoyed being seen with me. i’ve seen the way you look at kiara, i really hope that you treat her the way you should treat someone.” you looked at him and he was the one shaking his head.

“you gotta believe me when i say i’m trying y/n, you know what i’m going through. it’s tough for me and i’m trying to manage my life around it, i couldn’t image my life without you in it.” he said as he grabbed both of your hands, the hands you found your solace in, now feeling unfamiliar to you.

you inhaled deeply, your breath shaky and tears uncontrollable, “i want to believe that jj, i really do. i can’t continue to put myself in a position where i continue to be hurt over and over again. be with someone who will be able to love you unconditionally.”

the tremble in your voice was painfully clear and heartbreaking to not only you, but jj.

you smiled as jj’s thumb lightly swiped across your cheek to wipe away a stray tear, your eyes were watery beyond relief, and so were his.

you would’ve given this boy the world, had he only given you the chance to. providing the best for each other was the only way that you and jj could have a healthy relationship with each other.

you took a deep breath and slipped away from his touch, you smiled at him before walking away to prevent any more tears that would slip out.

jj watched as you walked away from the dock and into the chateau, yet of course, he’d eventually find himself crying.

of course you’d still be around, he just wouldn’t get the chance to hold you on the colder nights, falling down a rabbit hole of endless deep conversations. he would never be able to fall in love with you all over again.

he didn’t expect for any of this to happen, the only one that he ever really loved. the girl he thought he would spend the rest of his life with, the memories and all the love they’d given each other, slipping right through his fingers.

the world was crashing down on the two, they knew that they would be better off without each other.

oh how they wished time could rewind and they could redo everything, but this was the best for them.

it would forever be y/n & jj.

“we’ll be alright.”