#the burdening of Sheppard

[jannaphia]

⩒ Burdened ⩒

Done during the SmArt School class with Cynthia Sheppard!

[spockvarietyhour]

You know, the Annulus. 

[deathisanartmetzli]

TIMING: A few nights ago

PARTIES: ​ @deathisanartmetzli​ @reformed-teentective​

SUMMARY: Metzli and Poe go on a run together.

WARNINGS: None!

With each passing day, it was growing easier to feel like a person. Thanks to Dr. Sheppard’s treatment, Metzli had taken to exercise and hobbies a little too far before, but they found a balance. One that was tipped over by their curiosity. They had found a random bone in the middle of a trail they were running on, and just like clockwork, their luck had turned as they were giving the item a sniff. A bonedoggle, a beast they weren’t familiar with spotted the vampire and greeted them with a growl. “Oh fuck.” They muttered, taking a small step back as the beast replied with a guttural bark. Saliva dripped, viscous and unsettling. In a blink, the canine disappeared into the dark—which should’ve been impossible. Vampires could see in the dark with ease, but it was as if the dog had fell into some sort of portal. And indeed it was. For the dog leapt from out of the darkness, sending the two rolling, fighting for dominance.

Metzli won momentarily with a kick, sending the bonedoggle backwards, still holding the bone in their hand. With the moment of reprieve, they scrambled to their feet and booked it down the trail, away from the beast. Plenty of distance, they thought, was put between the two, and when they checked, the front of them was rammed into something. Whatever it was, it exclaimed, but Metzli couldn’t care less. The bonedoggle could be heard only paces away, forcing them to immediately tumble back to their feet and continue to run. “Good luck!” They shouted, picking up their speed and passing on the burden to a stranger. Better him than themselves, they thought.

Another sleepless night meant another late night walk. Poe had formed a habit of this. The past few years held a lot of memories of late nights stalking around town, sitting in his car or falling over fences. He wouldn’t exactly call those good memories, but for better or worse the habit had stuck with him. Now he found it hard to get to sleep once the sun fell, usually electing to sleep during the early hours of the morning instead. At least until his dad woke him up to help with the food truck or his step sister’s stupid cat woke him up by sleeping on his face. This wouldn’t be entirely bad if it wasn’t for the fact that he usually coupled this insomnia with strolls around the streets of White Crest in an attempt to tire him out. When he felt that urge to start digging into things sometimes just walking around the town would quench that thirst, if only temporarily.

Tonight had been one of those nights, but apparently it was about to be anything but normal. The sounds of a struggle from a block away drew Poe around the corner and under a street lamp. Just a few down, on the edge of the light he saw a struggling figure rolling around with some kind of animal. His glasses didn’t work miracles, and it was hard to tell exactly what it was from the distance he had between them, but he wasn’t inching to move closer either. Part of his brain told him to turn right back around and sneak away. Call animal control or something from a safe distance. Another part told him to find a middle ground, that an added voice may scare the animal off. He took a single step forward, trying to figure out his game plan when the person found their footing and launched the creature off of them, pretty far too. “Shit” was the only word he could find to describe the scene.

Luckily for that person, they had found their way to their feet and were now running, right in Poe’s direction actually. “Woah. Are you ok-” he started asking as they got close enough, but the person flashed by them in an instant, completely leaving him under that street lamp as that… thing barreled towards them. “Oh you asshole!” Poe yelled as he also turned to run, only to have the dog bite out at his ankles, stopping Poe in his tracks and knocking him face first into the pavement.

Hearing Poe reprimand them was pretty amusing, even affording them a laugh. But, something urged Metzli to slow their sprint. They were trying to be good, weren’t they? Self-preservation, putting themselves first was what mattered most and came the easiest to the vampire. Regardless of the absence of their soul, they were different now. They had to be. “Dammit…” they grumbled, knowing they had to be selfless. Probably get injured and ruin yet another good set of clothing in the process. They just hoped it would be fun. “¡Ay! ¡Malo perro!” Metzli exclaimed, spinning their hips around and darting back in the direction of the soon-to-be victim. Quickly, they unholstered their knife, gripping it with unrelenting purpose as they gained on the scuffle.

Bodies collided with a yelp from the bonedoggle, a knife digging in between ribs and yanking a shard of bone with it. Metzli growled and swiped in front of them as they separated and rolled away, defensively standing in front of Poe. “Get back!” The beast growled, frothy drool cascading down its jowls, motivated by its clear ire. It didn’t look right, none of it did, and Metzli already knew they were in for a hell of a fight. One they didn’t ask for and didn’t want to partake in. They thought maybe Poe could repay them with a taste for their troubles. He smelled human and they were saving his life. It stood to reason that there could be a payment. Heroes got paid, didn’t they? The smart ones did at least. “I would start running if I were you.” They swiped again, lunging over and over to dissuade any want to pounce on the prize it sought after. “¡Córrale!” They commanded with a snap, as if he’d understand their Spanish. “Get to it! This thing ain’t one for pets and belly rubs. You can thank me later!”

Poe’s face collided against the pavement, sending his glasses off his face and sliding across the blacktop. Face down, Poe couldn’t see the creature looming over him, but he could definitely feel it. Its paw pressed against the back of Poe’s thigh, claws pressing through his jeans and digging into his leg, and he felt the back pack that he was wearing pull from him as the creature bit into it and tried tearing it away. Poe took the opportunity to slide his arms free, crawling from the back to try to put some distance between him and the monster, but was surprised to see the mysterious person from before rejoining, blocking the path between Poe and the monster.

Without his glasses everything was blurry, but Poe could make out the figure vaguely. All fours, dog like, but seemingly bigger and more grotesque. Poe hadn’t quite made it back on his feet yet, instead twisting his body to get a better while he lifted himself off the ground with his palms. He tried looking around for his glasses, but he found it hard to focus on anything but the person standing directly in front of him, towering over Poe as he continued to kneel on the street. Eventually, Poe gave up and climbed onto his feet, just in time for this person to start yelling at them about running and warning them that whatever this was, it wasn’t friendly. “I don’t even know what the fuck that is!” Poe yelled back, but he couldn’t argue with the person’s advice. “I think we should both run!” Poe tried, tapping at the person’s shoulder before turning away from the monster and hoping to make a break for it.

All the vampire could do was blink and grunt as they moved, a little bewildered at how Poe struggled. He was looking for something, and that something nearly got crushed beneath a sneaker. “You’re an idiot.” Metzli blurted out, continuing to swipe at the dog as they registered the glasses and grabbed them. “Here!” Poe wanted them to go with him, and in retrospect, it was actually quite admirable to stay in a situation that was too big for one’s pantalones. He was a human in front of a dangerous beast, ignoring another monster’s commands. So, naturally, Metzli thought that made him a stupid human. A very stupid human.

“I don’t know what this is either, but I can handle it!” A swipe. “Just…!” Another swipe. “...Run!” But then they tumbled backwards and growled alongside the bonedoggle as it tackled and bit at Metzli. For a few moments, they struggled, plunging their knife into the gaps between ribs. Well, that was useless, wasn’t it? There was no purchase to be found in flesh, nothing for their knife to properly plunge into. The pair angrily growled and snapped, two animals fighting for dominance una feral scuffle. Animalistic traits demanded fear, but none could be found in either party. It was a fruitless tactic on both ends.

Kicking as hard as they could, Metzli sent the bonedoggle flying in the air, darting their gaze to Poe with blood-red eyes. “Okay, we’re running.” Without any approval, they hoisted the young man over their shoulder and sprinted through a blur of trees and lamp posts. They could hear the saliva that dripped from the dog’s jowls as it rumbled several barks and growls, running right at the vampire’s heels. “Okay! So!” They yelped, adding more speed to their run. “Uh, I’m Metzli, and that’s a really mad bone-dog-thing! I’m gonna keep running and then you’re gonna owe—” A branch crunched, but not just any small branch, it was a big one, and several shards of bark broke free from it as Metzli tripped, sending both of them harshly to the ground.

Poe would have taken the insight personally if there weren’t more pertinent matters at hand. Luckily, one more problem was solved by this mysterious stranger when Poe’s glasses were shoved into his hands and Poe quickly adjusted them back onto his face, thought he wasn’t sure he should have. Once his eyesight was corrected, he could actually see the dog- or whatever the fuck it was- clearly. And if he hadn’t already been like ninety-eight percent sure that the supernatural existed, he sure as hell had to be convinced now. Either that or someone spiked his dinner with something strong as hell.

Unsure if it was adrenaline or if Poe was actually going into shock, he actually took this news of a bony, supernatural dog pretty well. “I thought you had this handled!” Poe yelled once the dog tackled the knife wielding stranger back to the ground again. He was pretty sure that he should step in to help, but apparently this person really did have this handled, because they kicked the dog off of them after a few seconds and jogged over to Poe, scooping him up and taking off towards the treeline.

“I fu-cking-de-test-this!” the inflection shifting with each step as Poe was carried through the woods. Metzli was the name of the savior. Or at least the attempted savior, considering Poe wasn’t convinced either of them were getting out of this unscathed. As Metzli ran through the woods, Poe faced the opposite direction and spotted as the dog closed in behind them. As Metzli yelled, Poe was ready to cut them off to warn them about the dog until it leapt forward, farther than any normal dog could, and tackled them. Poe hit the ground on his side, rolling a few feet before being stopped by a tree trunk. “God damn it” Poe muttered under his breath, regaining his breath and climbing up onto his feet just in time for the dog to do the same. He grabbed the closest thing he could find to a weapon, a big branch and swung at the dog, knocking it sideways slightly without actually doing any damage. “Shit. We’re totally going to get eaten by bones aren’t we?” Poe questioned, standing by Metzli and waving the stick wildly in an attempt to ward the dog off. “You don’t suppose it likes fetch do you?”

There wasn’t time to answer snarkily to Poe’s statement as Metzli ran as hard as they could. Truth was, they didn’t care that he didn’t like being bounced around like a bag of potatoes on the vampire’s back. They were doing him a favor, and the idea that he wasn’t filled with gratitude was a little irritating. Could they do anything correctly? Was their pursuit to mimic having a soul pointless? As much as they tried, they couldn’t feel anything but irritation for the young stranger. That and desperation were the only things that filled them as they tried to be a hero, to be something other than what they were forced to believe their whole life.

Maybe Emilio was right. Maybe—No. He couldn’t be right. They had to make it work somehow even if was for them. Metzli was doing something good despite having something to prove. So they snapped out of it, not letting Emilio’s violent words win as the canine caught up effortlessly. It pounced, catching the pair as its target and sending a breathy grunt out of them. Teeth sank in immediately upon purchase and they yelled out in pain. Black ooze seeped out of their wound, thick and opaque. “¡Chinga tu puta madre!” Their free hand searched for their blade while the other gripped bone to keep jowls away from them. With nothing to be found, Metzli took to ripping out bones and tossing them away in hopes of a distraction. They groaned, not seeing a change in target. Trying Poe’s suggestion for fetch didn’t do any good. “¡¿Qué quieres?!” Shifting their weight, they managed to find their way atop the bonedoggle as it snarled and snapped towards its own back. They slammed the creature against the ground several times, growing annoyed. Their hold was strong enough to keep it in place for the time being, but they knew it was only a temporary fix. Eventually their strength would wane, so they had to figure out how to stop the beast.

“I don’t know what this fucking thing wants! It just started chasing me after I picked up this stupid bone.” Metzli nudged their head towards their back pocket, straining to keep the dog in place. Saliva burned their hands and the bite wound they had already acquired burned the same way. They’d have to let Macleod look at their wounds later. She’d probably know how to keep it from getting infected. But that was a matter for later. The bonedoggle was getting harder to keep in place. “Grab my knife, grip it tight with both hands, and…keep it up. I can’t hold this fucker down forever, and I don’t know how to kill it.”

Despite the near death and still possible death experience, all Poe could think about was that he definitely owed Metzli an apology for calling them an asshole. And he definitely owed them, which was a concept Poe was very unhappy about. He hated owing people favors. Which definitely shouldn't be the thing he was most worried about at this moment, but he was just going to blame adrenaline for that.

Metzli continued to grapple with the supernatural dog creature, which definitely piqued Poe's curiosity. The monster had tackled Poe exactly twice since the chase had begun, the first being right as Metzli passed by, and the second while he was being carried through the woods with Metzli. It was possible the first attack had been the dog actually leaping for Metzli and getting Poe instead, right? There had to be some reason why it seemed so attached to them and not Poe. Either that or the dog didn't think Poe would taste good, which was actually quite offensive.

At some point, the dog had gotten a hold of Metzli, and Poe could see dark blood escaping from the bites in their leg. It was so dark it was hard to tell how bad the wound was, but Poe shook the thought away to focus on more pressing matters. Poe found Metzli’s discarded knife, but didn’t really have any ideas on how to use it. There wasn’t much to cut or stab at. “Wait- what did you say about a bone?” Poe finally asked, their earlier words finally clicking with him. It was a shot in the dark, obviously, but Poe found the piece of bone sticking out of Metzli’s back pocket and grabbed for it, holding it in his hands for a long moment as he considered his options. He couldn’t see much, not with the trees blocking out the only source of light they did have. So instead of trying to find an open space, Poe settled on the next best thing. He shoved the bone into the open dog’s mouth. Then he readjusted the knife, trying to prepare for a plan b.

“Hey! That’s my ass!” Metzli attempted to buck away, but doing so would force them to let go of the canine, which was something neither they or Poe wanted. They nearly growled with their teeth bared in a threat, but then the bonedoggle huffed, sounding like it was relieved. “What in the fuck?” With the beast calmed, Metzli was able to slide of its back with ease and no sign of a simmering threat. Somehow, Poe had managed to turn off the heat and quell the waters of the anger that the vampire had caused. It actually looked happy, and started to walk in circles as it gathered what other bones Metzli had managed to pry off. The more it placed, the more boost it had in its gait.

Metzli began to scoot backwards, trying their best to make their way out of a situation they shouldn’t even have been in, but then the bonedoggle’s head snapped toward them. “Oh come on. I don’t have anything else!” It growled, slowly, wickedly walking toward them, and Metzli swallowed. Their black blood stained the ground and they just knew more was about to be spilled. That was until they saw where the dog was looking. “Have it!” One final bone sat next to them, and they quickly threw it to the beast with a sigh of relief. “Thank fuck.” Falling backwards into the grass, Metzli finally relaxed despite the searing pain all over their body. As long as the crisis was averted, they didn’t care what happened next. Except that they got what was theirs and got on with their night. “Give me my knife back! You don’t need it anymore.”

Poe stood silently as he watched the creature finally calm down. Metzli climbed off of it and the dog began to almost calmly collect the remaining bones around it, all signs of aggression that had been there just moments ago now completely gone. Poe thought it was too good to be true. That one wrong movement would set the beast off again. That was probably why Poe didn’t move at all. Just watched in awe as this creature that shouldn’t even exist collected pieces of its own bones and then waltz over to Metzli to nonverbally request the return of the final piece lying next to them.

“I can’t believe that just happened.” Poe finally spoke once he was convinced that the monster wouldn’t be returning. In a lot of ways, Poe’s entire world had just shifted, though it wasn’t exactly due to anything he hadn’t already suspected. And here he was, calmly mulling over the ramifications of seeing a dog without flesh and accepting it with nothing more than a sigh. Metzli distracted Poe from thinking too hard about it, demanding the knife back. At the mention of it, Poe felt his fingers twitch and tighten around the hilt of the blade. He didn’t even realize that he had still been holding it. “Right uh- don’t worry I don’t want your knife anyways.” He handed it back over towards them, barely paying attention to them as he was still staring off in the direction the creature had left. “I guess I owe you a thank you” Poe mentioned, briefly breaking his stare to look over at the person who had tried to get Poe away from the monster. “So thanks. The name’s Poe, by the way.”

It wasn’t until that exact moment that he remembered that Metzli had actually been attacked by that thing. “Oh shit. Your leg.” Poe finally, finally snapped back to reality. “Is it okay? Do you need me to like, drive you to the hospital or something?”

The dog was finally yards away and Metzli relaxed into the grass, rolling their eyes at Poe’s disbelief and subsequent gratitude. ‘I outta fucking bite you and take that as a real fucking thank you.’ Metzli groaned to themselves, grabbing the knife and shuffling to their feet with a struggle. It was a shitty attempt to hide their eyes and fangs, but they didn’t want to deal with the responsibility of explaining the supernatural. They just wanted to get home and eat before the idiot beside them became a late night snack. “No hospital. Get away from me and go home.” They began to limp away slowly, doing their best to ignore the beating heart growing louder in their ears. God, they wanted to just let their vampiric senses take over, but that wouldn’t be right. Being a decent person was really unfair. “Next time, don’t fucking walk around at night…idiot.” With their hands curled into fists, they walked home. At least there, they didn’t have to hide. At least there, they could eat. At least there…they weren’t a complete monster.

[happycabbage]

Business as usual… Sheppard tries to keep Elizabeth safe, while Elizabeth bears the burden of sending her people straight into danger…

03x18 submersion

[nikadd]

bela should have come back as a demon

everybody tell me where in the show you think bela should have come back as a demon. because she obviously should have.

(also in my mind, i can def see bela coming back in a hot male vessel, but they still call her bela and use she/her pronouns and she still flirts with dean a lot.)

here are my personal reasons for each season to be Brought Back (she could remain for however long, as long as possible being my personal pref ofc):

4 - too soon in my opinion. bela is a deangirl, and in this season dean is much more of a heaven focus, so the weight of cas vs ruby thing would have been shifted with the addition of bela.

5 - this might be even worse than s4 in terms of who is the focus of what side here, and also they already brought back meg as the evil girl of the season, so they would have clashed too much.

6 - okay so i know that they originally wanted crowley to be the one that pulled sam out of the cage with his soul conveniently forgotten but then switched to have it be cas, which was probably bc they couldnt get j*r&d to have homoerotic tension with mark sheppard (like mark would have had to CARRY the whole thing on his short king back, and i guess the show liked him enough to not burden him with that). but what if they got bela in on it.... hm.....

7 - hm. idk. i don’t see it. we get meg again, that makes sense. there’s just too much non-hell-related things going on here, and the whole leviathans mess...

8 - okay now, here we get crowley’s big moment, and yeah we have and then lose meg, but i think it’s the earliest season she could have been re-introduced for it to have made a little Sense.

9 - the mark of cain arc is just the damned to go to hell dean arc but on steroids. it would have been So easy to have bela back here as someone who’s Been There, Done That... 

10 - demon!dean, crowley, demon!bela throuple hot girl summer.... think about it. ESPECIALLY if they had bela in a male vessel here. THINK about it.

11 - we already got amara as the designated evil deangirl of the season + rowena being the girlboss that she is, so idk if bela would have really Fit with all the subplots going on, but season 11 is also very fun and messy as it is, so i think it would have still been fun.

12 - bela Should have been a part of the bmol plot i s2g. she should have been frenemies with ketch and had a threesome with ketch and mary. literally don’t care in what vessel she would have been here, i just wanted her to be there. OH maybe she would have actually possessed ketch?? that’s also a possibility.

13 - listen. anael was basically bela. they could have made sister jo a demon instead. imagine if they had us actually watch bela flirt with dean as danneel ackles flirting with her husband. my brain is going a mile a minute just Thinking about this.

14 - i genuinely don’t remember what was happening in s14 on hell’s side besides the v beginning when sam had his “if you wanna be the king of hell you have to go through me” moment, but i think inserting bela literally Anywhere here would be so fucking fun. like i think having her anywhere here would have just improved the season overall.

15 - in my mind’s eye i see bela being brought back in s15 bc like if we are bringing people back..... like they brought back lilith..... they could have brought back bela. cmon. in THEE dean doesn’t want to die season (yeah ik) they should have brought back THEE dean doesn’t want to die mirror. also imagine the bela and belphegor interaction.

from all this, my ideal re-introduction of bela is during late s9 or early s10 as a special guest/part of dean’s hot girl summer, sporadically in s11 just for fun, but then more seriously in s12 to be a part of the bmol plot, have anael’s plotline, offset the heavily heaven and monsters plot in s14 to have more hell presence, and stay through s15 to be a dean mirror focus.

[indylgc]

Q4 2021 CHARACTER UPDATE - PLAYLIST VER.

no parallels - hands like houses [ “this is happiness; to be everything at once.” ]

this is the song the lyrics on indy’s theme are from, and one i feel overall suits him really well. to me, it’s a song full of adventure and about finding happiness and freedom even with the burdens that come with the human condition. indy himself is pretty free-spirited and naturally has a pretty optimistic and sunny disposition, so it has a lot of his energy. there are also lots of references to nature, which is also something very important to indy. there’s a lyric that goes “we're domestic and we're discontent, and we're grinding our gums raw,” so it’s not an entirely happy song, just as indy isn’t an entirely happy person, but it suggests that an adventurous spirit and throwing caution to the wind is how you really enjoy life, and indy fits that bill pretty well!

are you gonna be my girl - jet [ “well it's one, two, three, take my hand and come with me because you look so fine that I really wanna make you mine.” ]

this makes the list because it’s one of indy’s favorite songs (along with geronimo by sheppard, which didn’t make the list for the sake of redundant descriptions.) jet is an australian band, just like indy is a kid from sydney, australia himself. this song came out in 2003, a mere two years after indy was born, but it’s a song that was present in his childhood, and throughout his entire life, indy has been a fan of older rock music. then again, indy listens to a lot of different music (except for much kpop, ironically...) but he’s sentimental and songs that were important to his life growing up are usually some of his favorites.

surfin’ usa - the beach boys [ “everybody’s gone surfin’, surfin’ usa.” ]

indy is not actually surfin’ usa, he’s surfin’ australia, but the concept is ultimately the same. indy’s identity is “surfer boy” before just about anything else. he's even got the stereotypical blond surfer dude hair, and he still has the dawn patrol and world surf league apps downloaded even though he's been living in korea for more than two years now. he used to surf all the time back in australia; it was his Thing™ and his passion. it's one of the things he misses most now that he's in korea. he skateboards now, but it just isn't the same as the ocean breeze and sand between his toes. early in his time in legacy, he would get anxious being inside for so long. he's more used to it now, but still feels most at home as surrounded by nature as possible. unfortunate.

canyon moon - harry styles [ “you gotta see it to believe it, sky never looked so blue.” ]

this song gives hippie vibes, and there's even a line about "hippie music" in here, which is part of the reason why it was added to the playlist. indy's mother may be a scientist, but don't be fooled; his parents are also both conservationists and definitely hippies. they named their son indigo march lee. enough said...but really, this song also speaks to indy's love of nature and homesickness for australia, because even in a city like sydney, the sky seemed bluer and the air seemed fresher. he got to visit australia again over the holiday break, which was great, but getting back to korea and legacy leaves him with some mixed feelings: both new motivation and relief and new sadness in leaving australia behind again.

here comes the sun - the beatles [ “here comes the sun, and i say it’s alright.” ]

i call indy "sunshine boy" a lot, so this song seemed fitting to add based off that much alone. i compare him a lot to the sun in his bio too, and i do think it's a fitting comparison. he's almost always smiling brightly, trying to cheer everyone up, and a very warm person in all ways. he's a very optimistic person, and while he's not always as internally sunny as he appears, overall, he's the kind of person to be confident everything will end up okay eventually. his main goal in becoming an idol, and in his life in general, is to make people happy, so here comes the sun (indy)!!

dwyw - stand atlantic [ “take me closer to the sun, you can cut off both my arms.” ]

this song is darker than any of the others on the playlist, but even the "happiest" characters need at least one! part of the reason this song is on this playlist is because stand atlantic is an australian band. the "take me closer to the sun" line is also where i got the title of indy's playlist. to me, this song relates to indy's pushover tendencies, and how he'll sacrifice anything to try to make and keep other people happy. he's also gullible and easily taken advantage of, and puts up with a lot without ever standing up for himself. while he seems confident and unshakably cheerful, there are moments where he has a lot of self-doubt, and this song explores that.

sunny - sunmi [ “you can call me sunny, sunny.” ]

ah yes, back at it again with the sunshine references. like mentioned before, indy is a very bright and warm person, not so unlike sunshine. it's a running motif in the background i wrote for him, too, and he tries to embody the sun in everything he does. aside from that, this song is also adventurous and makes lots of references to the ocean, the beach, and paradise, all things that are important to indy too. it's adventurous and fun, as is indy, and even the vaguely tropical and upbeat instrumental has his energy to me. it's just fun and cute! so is he.

work this body - walk the moon [ “i will work this body, i will burn this flame, oh in the dead of night and in the pouring rain.” ]

this is another really upbeat and fast song with a driving beat where the instrumental alone gives me the Vibes. overall, this song is really relevant to him though; the "work this body" part applies literally in the fact that indy is a dancer, and the "burn this flame" part makes me think of indy's stubborn insistence on remaining optimistic and happy for everyone around him. he may not have a lot of ambition, but he does work really hard, and he's been beaten down by lots of people based on his lack of skill and talent. part of him is really determined to prove everyone wrong in that regard, so he uses it all as motivation to improve, and the lyrics of this song go along with that.

with you - superm [ “like the ocean gives away the breeze, i wanna ride your wave and be your tide.” ]

more fresh, bright, nice instrumental indy vibes, but of course, the lyrics apply too! to me, this song is kind of a soft ode to indy's relationships, especially #aussieline. it's another song with a kind of adventurous spirit, about throwing caution to the wind and enjoying time with someone, whether that's a friend or romantic interest. maybe it leans more romantic, but indy is really soft and affectionate with his friends, so the parts about holding hands etc don't have to be romantic for him. it's also here for ocean references! always! indy would also like to clarify that this song does not make him think about jiahn, which is obviously false, otherwise he would not need to clarify it.

boogie up - wjsn [ “hey, shake that, boogie up!” ]

this song is pretty straightforward and is about exactly what you would think: boogieing up. that is to say: dancing. 80% of the lyrics are about dancing in the summer heat, which is another indy vibe. this one is just fun, which indy deserves bc he suffers a lot for the good kid he is asdasdgdsg there's very little depth to it. just a song for a kid dancin in the summer time, the vibe. there's not much to say here so all i'll do is repeat myself and nobody is going to read to the end of this anyway so i'll just hit 100 words this way, thank you thank you <3

[atlantis-scribe]

AU-gust 2021 ( Day 8 )

Character Swap

(in which Rodney is a USAF Major who finds himself drawn to mysterious, Ancient women & John is the expedition's chief scientist with A Lot of Opinions about that)

.

When Rodney returns from Proculus, John Sheppard is waiting for him.

The man is leaning against the door to Rodney's quarters, right over the sealed gap in the middle, and for a second, Rodney is tempted to think 'Open' and watch Sheppard stumble sideways in the dark. Their CSO has the gene now, sure, but Rodney's the golden child, and one quick mental command that he can chalk up to carelessness will be a satisfying conclusion to this whole exhausting affair.

"You're back," Sheppard snaps before Rodney can make a decision, pushing himself off the door in a display of motion economy most of Rodney's men can never hope to achieve. "I take it Planet Paradise will live to see another blessed day?"

Rodney sighs and dismisses the taunt with a sharp wave. "Get over it, Sheppard."

"Though I'm sure she still managed to give you a few more excuses, didn't she? Spun one last tale about banishment and the burden of immortality?"

This time, Rodney curls his hands into fists and makes a conscious choice not to take a swing.

Sheppard just goes on, as uncharacteristically talkative and worked up as he’s been the whole day. “I’d say I’m disappointed in you, Major, but I should’ve seen this coming. She was willing to show you the secrets of the universe, after all. That’s why you joined the military, right? Because doing science the hard way, the right way, was just too much for you?” 

Rodney remembers the moment he had with Chaya back at her planet, the feeling of absolute rightness that filled him as the blinding, white light encompassed them both. Something in him called out to something in her, a feedback loop of attraction and acceptance and kinship. Maybe it’s genetic compatibility. Or maybe it was one kind of solitude recognizing another.

Not even Sam, whom Rodney had shared the Air Force, SGC, and a love for science that felt illicit whenever they wore the uniform, made him feel that way. And he was going to marry her, at least before he refused to save Teal’c and she responded by giving back the ring and having him shipped to Antarctica.

Rodney’s irritation eased and he looked up at Sheppard.

Sam also never gave him this much shit over petty jealousy before. And it is jealousy that continues to ooze out of John Sheppard’s pores like cheap perfume. Rodney had traded the chance to study the building blocks of the world to study people, so it isn’t hard for him to see that.

Sheppard, who plays at being a dumb jock but can run numbers in his head faster than Cray computers, whose unpublished papers on just about every scientific discipline under the sun crossed O’Neill’s desk by pure happenstance, is not that hard to read at all.

“And I’m sure the reason you refused to continue the work you’ve been doing before all this, the science that rivaled the Stargate program’s discoveries you’d developed without having seen a glimpse of the gate, was because it’s the right thing to do.”

Rodney gives the other man a soft, fleeting smile.

“Not because it would’ve meant having to disprove Dr. Lyle Holland’s theories. And you can’t do that because after all, Dr. Holland had taught you everything you know before he passed away.” 

The dangerous glint in Sheppard’s eyes, reflecting most of the faint light in the empty corridor, is the last thing Rodney sees before he disappears into his quarters.

[imalifegen89]

A Legacy Left Behind - Chapter - 5 - The Gemmond Incident

Part 5 - Final

Stargate Command, Cheyenne Mountain - Colorado

As promised, Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell had shown up with SG-1, which had included himself, Teal'c, Vala Mal Doran, and Dr. Daniel Jackson. Sam Carter had not been available since she had been called away to the Daedalus for an urgent matter. Dr. Rodney McKay and Dr. Radek Zelenka had both shown up in her place to specifically study the two downed crafts and find a solution to free the trapped Gemmondians. SG-3, SG-8, and SG-9 had accompanied the Colonel in order to disperse around the city and help with the clean-up and whatever other tasks the citizens were in need of help with. Dr. Sandy Van Denson and Dr. Ian Carmichael along with three other medical staff had also shown up, bringing along the promised medical assistance for the traumatized Gemmondians.

Sheppard and the team had been upgraded to local celebrity levels and almost all of the people there in the city had wanted to catch a glimpse of the Tau'ri who had managed to successfully wipe out the Wraith. The locals had insisted on the feast they had somehow managed to prepare despite everything and made the SG-11 the guests of honor. The team had stayed for a few minutes, enjoyed a few local cuisines, and taken their leave in quiet relief when Mitchell and the other teams had finally shown up to take over.

..........

"Fucking hell! Hearing about all this crap in the briefing and looking at nasty photos is one thing. But this, man - this is something else." Danny's voice was equal parts awe, fear, and incredulity.

"So, this telepathic attack basically had a domino effect on these creatures. Powerful as they are when they are mentally connected to each other, it can also be a major weakness. Too bad only the ATA gene carriers have this ability," Adam Noshimuri sounded wistful. He was fascinated by the footage they were all now going through of the day's operation.

SEALs always went on ops with recording apparatus as a part of their standard kit. SG-11 had permission to keep this particular Special-Operator-trait for their operations, in keeping with the Navy standards, and it came in handy. They could always study the ops footage later to get more information and also it could be used to educate other teams whenever they went through something like this. Only a few of the team had body cams that day since they had been going to a party. But they had managed to team up to maximize the coverage and now they had mostly complete footage of the entire operation.

They had all gone for their post-Gate-Hop medical checkups once they had returned to the mountain. As promised, Colonel Mitchell had retrieved the rest of the SG-11 from the village near the jungle and they had returned to the mountain about 20 minutes later. They all had reunited in the infirmary during their medical checkups. Sheppard, Lorne, and Danny had garnered extra attention - the first two because of their dealings with the Wraith and Danny for getting partially stunned. But they had all been cleared without needing to spend the day in the infirmary once the doctors had been satisfied. They had all had early dinners in the mess hall and the two pilots had retired to the quarters since they had both been still suffering from headaches. The rest of the team had gathered in one of the smaller recreational rooms to go through the footage and get their AARs (After Action Reports) done for the debriefing the next day. They had already gone through the cam feeds from Steve, Bates, and Vega and now knew what each team had faced. They had exchanged praises, criticisms, and good-natured ribbing while watching different areas of footage with fascination. Now they were all at the part from the cam Lorne had been wearing.

"Yeah, that's the thing. These guys are rare enough as it is. When the Wraith find out about this, they’re going to start hunting them. The gene carriers are a real threat to Wraith. All they have to do is ask the Goa'uld to take care of the gene carriers while they deal with the non-gene carriers. We’re going to have to try and keep this stuff under wraps as long as we can," said Vega, after they had all finished watching the feed.

"Keep what under wraps?" asked Sheppard at the end of a huge yawn. He was leaning against the door of the rec room and was wearing a black t-shirt, loose sweats, and a pair of slippers. He still looked half asleep and Steve wondered what had made the man wake up and come looking for them.

"Ah, sleeping beauty, come take a seat. We were just talking about your horror show," said Danny, with his usual lack of tact.

They were using the TV screen in the room to watch the feeds and a few laptops and PDAs were scattered on the stool in front of them. Steve, Adam, and Kono were sitting on the long couch, Danny, Bates, and Vega had claimed sofas and Cadman was settled between Higgins' stretched-out legs on the floor. Sheppard pushed off from the door frame and walked into the room eyeing the seating arrangement. Then he huffed and went to settle on Steve's lap, who let out a quiet laugh and moved to accommodate the burden. John wriggled and shifted until he was sitting comfortably, resting sideways on Steve's chest with his head on Steve's shoulder, and let his long legs dangle off the armrest of their side of the couch. Steve wrapped his arms around the sleep-warmed body on his lap and closed his eyes. Then John looked at Danny expectantly. Danny keyed a few commands on the laptop closest to him and started the feed from Lorne's cam for John to have a look.

Steve felt him tensing up the moment John saw himself on the screen. It occurred to Steve then, that this was the first time John had seen himself going through the 'online experience.' The other time he had been alone and when he was discovered, he was already back to normal. Steve rubbed his back, offering silent comfort.

"Wow! That's... um... disturbing. My eyes - they look creepy - I look creepy..." said John. He was thoroughly disturbed at witnessing his physical transformation.

"I don't know brah, I was once involved in a raid at a meth factory. I've seen creepier-looking dudes running around, believe me," said Kono matter-of-factly from the middle of the sofa.

"And I know for a fact that you are a complete lunatic. One, because I've seen you fly and have had the misfortune to fly with you several times. Two, you are dating the other lunatic you are sitting on. So this little drama is nothing. I wasn't even that surprised," said Danny, his hand slicing away at the space in front of him, emphasizing his point. John and Steve both sent identical glares at Danny who just upped the wattage of his shit-eating grin.

John could clearly see the easy acceptance from his team of his rather weird ability, and That made it much easier for him to accept the fact himself. (He did remember how Lorne had looked during the change. Okay - he had looked like he was high on something - but not a full-on-mutant like John, though.)

"So the point we were discussing was, to keep this bit of intel from falling into the claws of the Wraith because that would lead to those fuckers declaring open-season on gene-carriers," said Bates, with a grimace. The others nodded in response.

"Dr. Carson is working on artificial gene therapy. He says his serum would have a 75% chance at activating junk DNA in a non-gene carrier to become ATA positive. I actually helped him to find some information he needed from the Alteran archives back in Antarctica. The way things are going, we are going to need him to deliver soon, so that we'll have enough people to deal with these assholes," said John thoughtfully, his mind drifting back to discussions he had with the Scottish doctor during his visits to the Defense Outpost in Antarctica.

"Yeah, and let's not forget the Snake-Heads. At least we have some sort of warning system against the Wraith. But the Goa'uld - do we even have a way of identifying them in advance?” The question was from Steve. he still had his eyes closed, enjoying the proximity to John.

"There are some medical scans that can spot them. Other than that, the Jaffa and some of the previous hosts, like Vala and Carter can sense them. Of course, the Tok'ra would know. But that's about it I think," said Cadman, remembering the facts from Daniel Jackson's lectures.

"Yeah, they've been quiet enough on earth for what, closer to two months now? But busy stirring trouble in other worlds? Whatever they are planning, we are not going to like it much when it happens. I really can do without these times of suspense, you know?" said Vega.

"I know it's tempting fate, but I do agree. By the way, did you guys hear? The word is, that the big boss is going to show up tomorrow. Probably for our briefing. He usually shows up when things are really going to get sent up the creek without paddles," informed Cadman conspiratorially.

"What big boss?" asked Sheppard at the same time Steve asked, "Where do you even hear this stuff from anyway, hah?"

"Oh, I've got my sources, Mr. Major, Mr. Lieutenant Commander," said Cadman, grinning from ear to ear.

"Awesome. Better get our paperwork and shit together then, yeah?" suggested Bates and grabbed the PDA closest to him.

Sheppard slid off the comfortable lap he was sitting on and settled on the floor between the Commander’s legs, then grabbed two PDAs - one for himself and one for Steve. They all then got busy with their respective reports on the day's events.

..........

Early next morning, Sheppard was sitting inside the Jumper helping the Air Force Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter to extract the data pertaining to their jaunt in Gemmond. He was transferring the flight records, blueprints of the Darts and Wraith Dart Carrier, all details about hull compositions, weapons, and other data, the scans and the footage the Jumper had managed to capture to Carter's PDA. When the data transfer finished, Samantha Carter went away, letting Sheppard know that they'd be called in for the debrief later on.

He knew that Kono and Steve had also prepared a comprehensible version from all the cam feeds they had on themselves during the mission as well. They had all submitted their detailed AARs to the SGC server already and were now waiting to be called to the briefing room for a Q&A session with the General and whoever else was present.

The summons came via Sergeant Harriman who came to fetch the SG-11 team leaders, Sheppard and McGarrett, into the main Briefing Room just after breakfast.

Briefing Room, SGC, Cheyenne Mountain - Colorado

Entering the Briefing Room, Sheppard experienced a feeling of déjà vu, since the atmosphere held the same intensity as his first briefing at the same place, several weeks ago.

This time there were more participants. Even in his BDUs, the bald Major General had an imposing presence. Brigadier General Jack O'Neill was sitting to his right and Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell was to his left. Next to O'Neill were Dr. Daniel Jackson and Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter with Teal'c sitting beside Mitchell. Dr. Rodney McKay was also present, busily typing on the laptop in front of him while munching on what looked like a blueberry muffin. Dr. Zelenka was sitting next to him trying hard to look like he had absolutely no association with McKay. SG-11 leaders had the seats on the opposite side of the big conference table, facing everyone, completing the assembly. There were two projector screens, on opposite sides, so no one had to twist their necks to see the feeds or any other data that was projected onto the screens. They also had their own PDAs or laptops with them, so they had ready access to anything they needed at any moment.

"General, you wanted to meet the trouble magnets. Well, here they are. The team leaders of SG-11." General O'Neill made an unorthodox introduction as they both entered the room and gathered in front of the conference table.

"You shouldn't complain much O'Neill, when you were the one who was bugging me for a group of special operators in your ranks. Now you've got some, and if they’re bringing extra workload for you, well, you've got no one else to blame," said General Hammond pleasantly.

"You know, it was more like Marshall's wish, come to think of it," O'Neill informed General Hammond. Colonel Marshall Sumner who was at the Earth Alpha site on an inspection, was not there to defend himself.

General Hammond shook his head in amusement, already much used to General O'Neill's eccentric ways, and turned to address SG-11." Anyway, gentlemen, it's a pleasure to finally meet you two. I have seen your personal files and the files of everyone in your team, of course, but I always like to meet trouble magnets in person, whenever I can manage. Please sit and make yourselves comfortable. We’re going to be here for a while," he informed the Major and the Lt. Commander.

"Major Sheppard, if you can please give a brief report of what took place in Gemmond?" he looked to Sheppard once they were seated.

Sheppard recounted the mission as ordered. He started from the point where they had to force the connection to Gemmond via the Jumper's DHD and detailed their entry to the hot zone. Then he briefly described the recon they conducted and the subsequent entry to the Wraith Carrier. Then he recounted the rescue operations and the entanglement with Wraith. He then summarized blowing up the ship, how they split up to accompany the Gemmondians and how the rest of them returned to the gate to report back to SGC, followed by the handover to Lt. Colonel Mitchell who showed up to take over the clean up. Once he finished, General Hammond turned to Mitchell.

"Lt. Colonel Mitchell, will you tell us what happened next?"

"Yes Sir. I went to Gemmond with SG-1, SG-3, SG-8, and SG-9. SG-3 was sent with the medical staff to the city to provide medical help and SG-8 went with them to help with the clean-up. I dropped off the Doctors McKay and Zelenka at the Dart crash sites along with Teal'c and SG-9 and took the Jumper to orbit to run a scan in near space. There were no other Wraith Spaceships in the vicinity. Then I returned to the city and stayed there to coordinate with the city council. I also spoke to some of those travelers who were taking refuge in Gemmond. They were from Holdus, Aegis, some even from Charos. They all had similar stories about this 'Culling', as they called it. It seems that this started about two weeks ago and there seem to be few other worlds targeted as well. So far they've been avoiding the technologically advanced planets though," continued Mitchell. "Then I took a trip to the village near the jungle where the rescued Gemmondians gathered with a couple of medical staff. They were all okay and being taken care of by the Nasyans. We spent the whole day in the city and the clean-up was rather quick, seeing as SG-11 got there pretty quickly and the Wraith didn't have much time for a larger attack. Then I collected the Doctors from where they were camping near crash sites and returned to the mountain for the debrief."

The General then turned his attention towards the two scientists;

"So Dr. McKay, Dr. Zelenka - any luck extracting the people stuck in those Darts?" he asked.

"Hmm, we've scanned those two Wraith Darts and found a way to connect with their interfaces. Basically, we’ve gone over the controls that dematerialize people, store their information, and then rematerialize them again when commanded to. It's a very complex process and requires a lot of power. Now, the Dart I scanned has five life signs and Radek's one has eight life signs. But according to the power readings we've got, those darts don't have enough power to rematerialize people on their own. But we can hook up a Naquadah generator into each of them and give a bit of extra oomph to restart the controls and activate the beam. Sort of like jump-starting a car battery." Rodney looked quite proud at having managed a properly dumbed-down report for the academically challenged.

"Ano, Rodney, we discussed this. There is a chance that those generators might not be the best way to restart those controls. You mustn't forget the biological components in those Darts - they are not like normal batteries that we can jump-start." Dr. Radek Zelenka pushed his spectacles further up his nose and reminded Rodney.

"I know, but if we regulate the levels and write a subroutine to abort if it gets over the power levels we need, it'd be fine." Rodney turned to face the Czech scientist and gestured with his muffin.

"A subroutine that we need to translate to match the coding on the interface. Yes, yes! It might work. But then we need..." Zelenka had already started typing something fast and McKay was leaning over to watch his screen.

"Ah, wait, there," he interrupted and the Czech said something unintelligible in his own language, still typing away. Now Rodney had abandoned his muffin and was also busy on his PDA while talking to Zelenka about code.

The two scientists had forgotten about the rest of the assembly and were completely immersed in their planning, typing, and conversing in increasingly complex scientific jargon. General Hammond let it continue for a while and then decided to interrupt when the scientists showed no signs of returning to the briefing. Out of all of them, only Carter seemed to be able to follow the dialog between them with an amused look on her face.

"As riveting as it is to be listening to you two gentlemen, can you please tell us whether this venture is possible or not? We really don't need to know the exact process," Hammond asked them both with great patience.

"Yes, General. We can do this. Maybe by tomorrow evening, we should be done. We will need a Naquadah generator though," said McKay, without looking up or without stopping his typing.

"Jack, can you accommodate that?" asked the Major General.

"Yeah, I'm sure we have one or two of those lying around here, somewhere," General Jack O'Neil replied, looking pointedly at Sergeant Harriman who confirmed with a firm nod.

"Well, then," started General Hammond, but was interrupted by Dr. Zelenka. "Can we be excused? We need to clean this up and get a proper program before we need to return to the planet."

"Yes, please. You may both take your leaves, doctors." A rather relieved General excused the pair without further delay. They both got up with their PDAs and left the room, bickering about the code and power levels.

"Commander, I was informed you have the footage of the entire operation?" he then inquired of McGarrett, who confirmed. "Now, Jack, I think this is something we should get all our Gate teams to start practicing. There is always one team or another who runs into something unexpected whenever they conduct Gate operations." He turned to the General.

"Yeah, I agree. But there is a concern, you know? What with the IOA and all their crap about respecting the privacy of the natives and such. SG-11 has a bit of leeway on this because they are a joint ops team and we had agreed to keep up their SEAL standards. So all their Gate missions go under Special-Operations per that agreement with the Navy. I think it's about time we took a long hard look at those pesky civilian regulations, especially since it's starting to look like trouble's brewing," said Jack O'Neill, for once looking completely serious.

"Hmm, I have a meeting with the IOA in a few days. I'll speak to the President as well before I meet with them. The chances are that we are going to have to raise the threat levels and will have to change some protocols accordingly, very soon," replied the General. He was already thinking about reaching out to the other races with advanced technologies and capabilities the earth had connections with; about this latest threat and ways to defend against it.

He then turned to Samantha Carter. "Carter, I'd like to review that footage now please."

Lt. Colonel Carter projected the video onto the screens on either side while Harriman dimmed the lights in the conference room. For the next 90 minutes or so, the entire conference room was quiet except for the sounds coming from the footage of the mission.

General O'Neill took it upon himself to break the thick silence that had descended in the Briefing Room at the end of the mission footage. "You know, I remember I sent SG-6 last year to Gemmond for the harvest celebrations. They brought back cake - really nice cake - and even nicer wine," he said wistfully, and then turned to where Sergeant Harriman was seated. "Walter, remind me next year when the time comes around, yeah?"

"Of course, General," the Sergeant replied with an equally serious air.

"That was an excellent bit of soldiering. My compliments to your team. Well done." General Hammond said. He was extremely impressed with the way the team handled the situation. He had harbored some concerns about how well they could mesh a SEAL team with an SGC team and this incident proved that it could be done quite seamlessly. He could see that each and every member brought a unique and impressive skill set to the team.

"Jack, I need a copy of this footage and all other data collected in a summarized report so I can present this to the president and the IOA. I might call an extra-planetary meeting to discuss this too. So be ready. And keep me posted if you get news from other planets on any encounters like this," He informed O'Neill. "So far, is there anything on the surveillance on those satellites and the Goa'uld activity?" he inquired.

"Nothing, but I believe this explains why they are waiting for the Wraith to stock up on supplies before starting whatever they are planning on. I have a feeling this might include an armada or two of alien fleets by the way things are going," said Jack O'Neill thoughtfully.

"The work on Prometheus is nearly completed. She will undergo her space trials in the next month, bringing our fleet to six. We shall see if we can persuade our allies to contribute as well. This information might just be what we need to apply that persuasion," General Hammond reflected. "All right people, thank you for your time. I will be in touch." He stood up, bringing the briefing to an end.

With that, everyone stood up as General George Hammond took his leave.

..........

It had been two days since the meeting with Major General George Hammond and SG-11 had just returned from a training session at the Alpha site, off-world. They had completed the medical checkups, cleaned themselves up, and were seated around a long table enjoying their dinner in the mess hall when Steve's phone started ringing.

The call came from a landline bearing a Hawaiian prefix. "Is this Mr. Steven McGarrett?" The voice was female. Steve winced at the 'Mr.' involuntarily, not used to being addressed as such.

"Yes, that's me. Who is this?" he asked.

"Sir, my name is Diana Curtis and I'm calling from Honolulu General Hospital. You’re listed as the next of kin for Captain John McGarrett. He was admitted to the hospital yesterday when he suffered a heart attack. Sir, his condition is stable for now. But we'd like you to be here and visit him if it is at all possible?” The professional no-nonsense voice delivered the news in such a calm manner, it took Steve a few seconds to register what the woman was saying and the seriousness of the situation.

"WHAT?" he barked into the phone, when he had recovered from the shock. The team sitting around him all stopped what they were doing and stared at Steve.

"Mr. McGarrett, please calm down. Your father's condition is stable for the moment. He was brought to the hospital on time. Are you able to make it here safely as soon as possible? Is there anyone who could bring you here?" The hospital admin on the line tried to placate the very agitated SEAL.

"Uh? Yes, yes. I'm not in Hawaii at the moment. But yes, I'll be there as soon as I can. Thank you for calling and letting me know," Steve collected himself enough to reply. His mind was still reeling at the shocking news he had just received. He had called his old man only two days ago and he had sounded fine on the phone - even happier at the fact that Steve was stationed somewhere in the mainland and could call home more or less on a regular basis.

"You’re welcome sir," the voice said crisply and disconnected the call. Steve stared at the phone in his hand dumbly, his mind refusing to cooperate and start being useful for the moment.

"Steve, what was that all about?" The touch on his arm and the concerned face of John - which was quite close to his - brought him back from the stupor he had got lost in. Steve stared at him for a moment and then found the words to reply.

"That was the Honolulu General. My dad, he's in the hospital, he had a heart attack," Steve said in a dull tone, still not able to believe that it was real. He felt John's grip tighten around his arm at the revelation.

"What? When? How?" Questions bombarded him incredulously. Steve took a couple of deep breaths in an attempt to bring his turbulent mind into some semblance of control and deal with the situation.

"I don't know, but I need to go there now," he said decisively, standing up.

"Hey, Steve, hey, they didn't say it's bad, did they? Just don't go by yourself." John was also standing with him and he realized John was holding him by the shoulders, shaking him slightly. He grabbed onto John automatically, his presence so close to him, helping Steve to ground himself. He concentrated on what John was saying to him and could hear the regret in his voice at not being able to go with Steve. They were the team leaders of SG-11 and one had to be at the mountain if the other was going to be unavailable.

"Don't worry man, I'll go with him," Danny was also standing up and looking worried. He also looked determined to follow the SEAL home no matter what Steve had to say about it.

"I need to go pack a bag, and yeah, Danny, you can come with," said Steve, starting to mentally list the things he needed to do in order to get moving.

"I'll help," Kono volunteered.

"Let me talk to Walter and contact Peterson AFB - there might be a transport or something going that way. It'd be quicker," Sheppard suggested, and was already moving towards the elevator to go to level 27. "I'll come back and see you in your quarters," he threw back over his shoulder as he entered the elevator.

"Shit, I need to apply for leave," said Steve, watching John disappear into the lift.

"Don't stress Commander, we'll take care of it." Bates patted him on the back and Cadman nodded along. "We will apply on behalf of you two. This is an emergency. So it'll be fine," said Vega. Then she and Bates both took off towards the HR offices to handle the paperwork for their Commander's emergency leave.

"Thanks, guys," Steve shouted after them. And then he hurried towards his own quarters with the rest of his team tagging along. He already had a duffel packed for emergencies and only needed to add a few more things. He tried calling his dad’s friend but the call went to voicemail. He figured that he could try contacting them once he reached the hospital. He wouldn't even think about calling his sister until he had the chance to see his father and knew more about his condition.

..........

Within 20 minutes, Steve and Danny were both waiting by the exit at Cheyenne mountain for the vehicle that had been signed off for them to be delivered to Peterson AFB. Walter had made the arrangements. There was an army cargo plane making a training run to Hickam and he had managed to arrange transport for the two SEALs with it. They'd make their own way back after the visit to the hospital.

"Steve, listen, it's gonna be alright. You hear me? It'll be fine! Your dad's a tough guy, he'll be fine." Sheppard was holding his face in his hands and Steve found himself nodding along to the assurances pouring out of his boyfriend. Then John kissed him softly on the lips and Steve sighed, leaning into the comfort. He rested his forehead on John's and wished with all his heart to wake up and realize that this was all just a bad dream.

"And don't forget to call, yeah?" John implored as he straightened and very reluctantly let go of Steve.

"Sure John, I'll call," He promised as the SUV came to a stop in front of them. He and Danny both got in and seated themselves. He then gave a short wave to John who was still standing there by the exit watching them leave. Steve hoped what John had told him would be true, that his dad would be able to make it through. He was not ready to lose his only remaining parent. ‘God please, not again! Not so soon...' His mind was repeating the mantra as Steve let out a weary sigh and closed his eyes.

[distinguishedcolordelusion]

A Study In Stargate

*This one is a bit of a doozy so bare with me a bit.

All notations and theories presented are just theories(not necessarily facts) regarding what is known and what can be inferred from cannon and ambiguously cannon(the novels and RPGs) sources.

For the purposes of this study if an ambiguously cannon source directly contradicts cannon it is disregarded as being relevant to the main universe and should be regarded as occurring within an alternate reality.

~On with the study~

.

.

[What is a Stargate]

The Stargates are constructed of a tempered naquadah composite that is virtually indestructible through practical means.(impractical means would include destructive power such as destroying a planet or dropping the gate itself into a star)  Though this is only in the case of second and third generation designed gates as the proto-gates constructed and dropped by gate-seeder ships are seemingly a great deal more fragile and less powerful.

[The Begining]

The Stargates and their network were designed by The Ancients(Altara/Altarans) and originally conceptualized by the Altaran Amelius – the night before they left their original home galaxy(The galaxy occupied by the Ori).

Note: Given the presence of a Stargate on Celestius it seems that either there were plans for the creation left behind when the Altarans left or perhaps more likely the Ori reverse engineered them for themselves after finding one during their hunt for the Altarans.

Though it would seem that the first actual gate(Permanent non proto-gate) built may have been the gate on the world Dakara as the location of the first Altara settlement in the Milky Way/Avalon Galaxy.

Note: This would make the Dakaran gate the oldest gate in the Milky Way having predated even Earth’s 50 million year old Antarctic gate

After the settlement of Dakara and the expansion into the Milky Way/Avalon, the Altara built a series of ships to explore new galaxies and lay the framework for more gates as they went. One of such ships was Destiny, the survey ship that follows in a 2000 year wake of the seeder ships.

Note: there were at least three seeding type ships ahead of Destiny. Potentially one to catalog planets and resources(Such as naquadah and other proto-gate building materials), one to lay the glyph point network, and one to seed the gates. Leaving Destiny to be the one to autonomously initiate the gate networks.

Note 2: It would have been during that same time period that the facility known to the Tau'ri as 'Icurus Base' would have been built to facilitate the necessary eventual contact with Destiny.

Note 3: It would be 10 million years between the launch of Destiny and the founding of the Alliance of the Four Great Races(est. 40 mil prior to start of series), implying that perhaps Destiny and her sister ships were instramental in the first contact between the Altarans and the other three races.

[How does it work?]

Within the Stargate network a Stargate uses six unique glyphs to find an address in the local galaxy network(with an additional glyph to dial another galaxy) and a final glyph as a Point of Origin.  Each glyph represents a physical point in space within the local galaxy. The Point of Origin Glyph would hold the saved location data (the six glyph points that make up its own unique location) of the planet being dialed from.

Note: Given that planets and planetoids that are likely to have Stargates on or around them move a great deal(tending to be in habitable zones of their stars with much more rapid orbital period), the orientation of indicated by a gate address is likely referring to the surrounding solar system rather than an individual planet.

The implications of this would mean that multiple planets in a solar system would share the same gate address even if there were gates on multiple planets of the same solar system.

This being said a newly added gate can not dial out until it has connected with the already established DHD(which has a limited range – seemingly high orbit at most) or receives an incoming wormhole.

Meaning that in practice every world in that theoretical system would have to be a complete pair(Gate and DHD) on its own or an orbital path that brings them within range of the counterpart mechanism. Though they could create a very interesting Antarctica type scenario of being close but so much farther than they think.

On the gates themselves there are either 39(Milky Way/Avalon gates) or 36(Pegasus and Proto-gate networks) glyphs. From this we can surmise that after subtracting the unique Point of Origin Glyph from the count a gate network needs to have at least 35 points to properly work.

Note: Though Pegasus gates only have 35 spacial points and a Point of Origin Glyph,  Proto-gates seem to have 36 spacial glyphs being able to use any glyph as a substitute Point of Origin(kinda like pressing 'ENTER' rather than the typical journey path.)

With all Proto-gates behaving in the same way and being known predisesors to the second and third generation gates the implication is that perhaps all systems have a minimum of 36 spacial glyphs and for whatever reason the Pegasus system only uses 35 of them.

If a gate network only needs those 36 points to function that implies something special about the fact that the milky way gates have 38.

It uses these glyphs to connect with another gate found at that point in space and establishes a captive stable wormhole between them. Each gate in the pair takes on a specific role: the dialing gate converts the traveler into its most basic components (sub-atomic particles) and transmits it, while the receiving gate reassembles the transmitted matter back into its original form.

[Gate Sounds]

Each glyph on the gate has a corresponding sound attached to it so that a gate address may be spoken aloud.

Note: Though the glyphs can be used as a mathematical conversion and numbering system for the gate network itself, the sounds associated with the glyphs are not actually numbers but rather a mnemonic device.(Think variables. Like pi = π =3.1459..., the sound has a value attached to it but the sound itself is not a number)

While the Milky Way/Avalon gates have a mnemonic device attached to them most spoken addresses are unwieldy and unpronounceable. Shorthand for the naming of planets based on their gate address seems to be reading whatever the glyphs are on the center ring of a DHD counter clockwise from 6:00 position

Original Shorthands would have been (Dakara) Ravacla Fin De'shi- Declara, (Earth) Vabo'Othe Ze'ka-Theva

Note: Theva (Latin pronounces 'Th' as a sharp T and hard H separately rather than 'th'. Making it sound like T-hev-Ah.)would have morphed into Terra which would morph into Taura in Goa'uld thus creating the word Tau'ri- from Taura, which would change in definition over time to simply refer to all humans and colloquially defining how goa'uld view humans i.e. beasts of burden/vessels.

Note 2: Obviously this naming technique is not always accurate due to planets being renamed whether by their inhabitants,  by their conquerors, or words simply morphing over time. Not surprising since many of those names would be some 50 million years old and for the better part of three million years would only have been passed along verbally if passed down at all.

It would also theoretically allow for more than one planet to have the same shorthand

It is unknown if Pegasus gates ever had a similar mnemonic device attached to their glyphs or not. The only ones who would likely still know would be the wraith who as a primarily telepathic/nonverbal species would have no need for such a thing

Note: Most wraith only communicate with their fellow wraith through telepathy, as such verbal communication may actually be uncomfortable for them being physically unused to the task.

***Headcanon: The reason Todd talks so much is due to his imprisonment and functional solitary confinement with the Genii. Being unable to hear any other wraith he talks out loud to be able to hear something.

[Implications Part 1]

That being said it has been shown that third generation gate technology accessories – such as puddle jumpers – are capable of using second generation gates even though they are not constructed for use in the same local system. The implication here is that the gate system or perhaps the puddle jumper's onboard dialing computer is doing conversion math based on the numerical positioning of they glyphs on the gate itself.

Note: The inner track of Milky Way/Avalon gates spins clockwise and their default position is at rest over the Point of Origin Glyph(mostly because that’s always the last glyph dialed anyway) going by that logic the conversion from milky way to pegasus glyphs would be 1:1 going clockwise around the gate until reaching the end of the corresponding numbered glyphs.

However this means that puddle jumpers would be incredibly limited in their access on the Milky Way/Avalon network however due to the fact that their systems only have glyphs up to 36(including Point of Origin)

***Headcanon: While Atlantis is Earthbound the Tau’ri crews put number stickers on the puddle jumper dialer to remember what symbol goes where. (They’d make Sheppard annoyed and he’d spend a Sunday peeling them off.)

Given that an address has to be dialed in the proper order for it to connect to its assigned planet, each place in a gate address represents an actual spatial orientation.( for example: up, down, left, right, front, back) Using six addresses that share a the same glyph with each address using it in a different place we could find the physical location in space of that glyph and determine the orientation pattern of a gate address allowing the the ability to know where all the glyph points are in space.

Note: I feel like there would be an actual buoy(a buoy may be the most accurate term here as traditionally buoys are used for navigation as a location marker whether visual or digital relay), satellite, or star located at each of the glyph points allowing for the DHD to track the points and compensate for stellar drift. Something physically present though perhaps out of phase

Note 2: With the nature of the gate network’s automatic updates it feels like there should be a sort of equivalent to a hard drive somewhere in the galaxy that records the buoys location and that is what the DHDs(and potentially Destiny) calculate from rather than compensating for nearly forty unique points in space drifting for thousands of years every time it dials.

Buoys would ping to the network harddrive. And the network harddrive would ping to an active DHD.

Given that the Point of Origin Glyph is actually a shorthand of the dialing gate's own spacial address this means that a gate can't dial out unless it 'knows' where it is, thus an incoming wormhole to establish its connection with its DHD(hence teaching its DHD where it is relative to the glyph-points) or a pre-established gate system is needed.

Note:This would give reason to why the gate aboard Apophis's ship could not be used to escape even after they dropped out of hyperspace even though there was a DHD present

With this in mind and conceiving of the fact that the gate system is capable of dialing every gate simultaneously. It is implied that there was a single point that dialed all other gates to 'set' their Point of Origin Glyphs.

The problem with this situation is that for a single point to commit a mass dial the system would have to already have a known location point. At the beginning of the gate system the only established location points would be the glyph-points themselves. As all the glyph-points are counted as stationary values being calculated none of them could have been the origin of the first dialing. This means that the first system dial would have had to have been done by a known value that was not part of the calculating values.

In a proto-gate network all glyphs on the gate are used as locational markers with Destiny acting as a real time drift calculator and DHD. The implication of this means that all 36 symbols on the gate have a corresponding physically located glyph-points.

The only glyph on a Stargate that is not part of spacial calculations in second and third generation gates is the Point of Origin glyph.

The implications of this are that the Point of Origin glyph-point has both a physical location within the local gate network and a means in which to dial out – making it the location that would have been responsible for the original mass dial that established the gate network in the first place. Once the mass dial was done the DHDs would save  their own locations to the Point of Origin glyph and the glyph-point's actual location would be lost.

For the Point of Origin glyph-point to be the origin of the first system dialing it would have to have a archive of all the other glyph-points and the original gate addresses placed.

Note: This is what makes the most sense as Destiny has the ability to recall addresses to worlds  in a galaxy that is new to it(as its journey is one that moves ever forward rather than crossing paths it has already been to). Meaning that its getting its information from somewhere.

And with its sister-ships being two thousand years of travel time ahead of it they are doubtfully within reach for quick information access.

It would have to act as a sort of mainframe for maintaining the entire local galaxy's gate network. This location would have to hold all the data of the gate network including a full and complete atlas of gate-baring worlds within the local system and a sort of hard drive that would maintain precise spacial coordinates of every glyph-point, which it would relay to the DHDs as periodic network updates.

*from here one the Point of Origin glyph-point will be referred to as the Archive Point

(A/N:...this sounds a little too eerie ...did Ba'al find the gate network harddrive?)

Note: The idea of Ba’al having found such a system or device as the core of the Milky Way gate network isnt too terribly far fetched as Dakara was held deep within his own territory for much of his reign.

[Implications Part 2]

Mathematically calculations start with 0 instead of 1(this was made a big deal in series by Carter). Zero is the starting point and the collective idea of 'where you are now/begin' thus in and of itself it is its own set of coordinates. It would be no different within the complex calculations of the Stargate system. For all intents and purposes 'AT' – the Point of Origin glyph and the first glyph on the gate –  would represent Glyph Zero in the gate's calculations between worlds and galaxies.

On most worlds the DHD is missing a glyph(not the Point of Origin). This missing glyph is not always the same one, indicating that certain points can not be safely called upon from certain areas of the galaxy.

Note: This means that Earth's use of a dialing computer over a DHD is yet again capable of circumventing safety protocols built into the gate network by its creators (~Sigh~ Damn Tau’ri).

If one knew the physical locations of the missing glyph-points they could map out the space between the worlds with missing glyphs and their corresponding glyph-points. With enough of these missing glyph worlds mapped there would be an intersection that would indicate where something was being avoided.

The gate network is millions of years old and seems to disregard most spacial anomalies that may occur within a travel path. This leaves the question of what would be enough of a hazard that the gate system would not allow a traveler to pass through?

It has been shown that large scale disturbances such as black holes and other cosmic events can affect gate travel meaning while it isn't a visible stream going from one place to another it is a physical presence capable of being interacted with to some extent(similar to being out of phase was portrayed).

It has been implied that Ring technology and Stargate technology function on similar principals with magnitude and distance being the defining differences between them. With this in mind that would lend the idea that there is an object between the missing glyph worlds and the worlds with addresses baring those glyphs that would either prevent travel or cause damage if traveled through.

Operating under the idea that Stargates and Rings function similarly then theoretically an un-designated Stargate (one without a DHD to give it an address) could 'catch' an incoming wormhole if it was positioned exactly between those points.

With that in mind it is possible that the disconnected space could be the location of the Archive Point. A Stargate that has no address within the system. As the Archive Point would be subject to automatic mass dialings to update and maintain the entire gate network trying to gate elsewhere from there would have the possibility of ending very badly(solid matter being transported through multiple wormholes doesn’t sound good) Thus having the possibility of even crossing over it by accident would be problematic.

(A/N) Now I need me a SG1 grade goof up scenario where the team accidentally finds the most important piece of the entire gate system by sheer dumb luck and the broken safety protocols of using an Earth made supercomputer in place of a DHD.

[Going Further than Before]

Within the gate network the commonly used seven glyph address reaches planets within the same galaxy.

With the addition of an eighth glyph the gate becomes capable of reaching worlds in other galaxies. Though achieving an eight glyph lock requires a specialized control crystal within the outbound gate's DHD (or just using the SGC's dialing computer). The seventh non-origin glyph in an eight symbol address is not a locational marker as with a standard address but rather a network extension.

The glyph in question would be defined by numerical value assigned to local networks seeded by Destiny and its sister ships as they were reached over the course of their journey. This would explain why a jury-rigged power generator was enough to reach Othala in the Ida Galaxy(Seventh glyph is #9) while a ZPM was required to reach Lantea in the Pegasus Galaxy(seventh glyph #20).

Note: Something odd to note on this matter is that the Milky Way/Avalon galaxy has a seventh glyph of 3. Implying that it was not in fact the first galaxy the Altara tried to settle and plant gates in.

With the Milky Way gates having 39 glyphs and Pegasus and Proto-Gate networks having 36 glyphs the network would have a design flaw of only being able to go as far as 39 galaxies out from the Milkey way and even fewer from Pegasus and the Proto networks. This would indicate why they instituted the 9 symbol address lock to gate to Destiny directly. Past a certain point it would have been impossible for them to reach the ship otherwise. And yet the logs aboard Destiny indicate that that Destiny and the gate-seeder ships have seeded more than sixty galaxies with Stargates.

Under very specific conditions(thus far only shown to exist on two known planets) a nine symbol address can be entered and this causes a complex series of equations to be pinged within the Stargate network to pinpoint the gate aboard Destiny.

As it is known that the Altara always played the long game with everything they did it wouldn't make sense for them to even passively go through the effort of seeding so many galaxies without having the ability to reach them. Something that, even with the ability to dial Destiny, would eventually be lost to them without alternative methods.

This implies that the network itself has the means to connect to those additional galaxies. With the maximum possible number of galaxies to be contacted it would have intended to use the 38th galaxy as a buffer point to reach any further galaxies.

This would also explain why the Milky Way/Avalon gates are different than Pegasus/Destiny gates as the Milky Way/Avalon gate system is both a local and intergalactic network hub. The 38th galaxy would be a second gate network hub.

Note: Given that the Milky Way/Avalon network seems to be both a hub network and not the first in its sequence it is unknown if the other two local networks prior to it would have been attempted to be hub networks as well or are simpler local networks like those of Pegasus

Potentially, given that they would predate Destiny's launch, they would be second generation styled gates like those in the Milky Way/Avalon Galaxy(Dakara being the oldest known gate in existence is still of the far sturdier second generation style gate design) but only having the 36 glyphs of a Pegasus and Proto-gate system.(making them reachable within the system but not really part of the fully fleshed plan to the grand scope of the gate network as a whole)

Likely the gate networks of those galaxies themselves would have been much smaller especially if the reason for them being left behind was the Altarans trying to put more distance between them and the Ori. There might have only been a handful of gates in the networks at all, only connecting to Altaran occupied worlds or worlds with resources vital to them.

Note 2: With the possibility of either a reverse engineered stand-alone network or a stolen concept network existing in the Ori home galaxy and without the set up of Destiny and her sister-ships or even the gate network as a whole the Ori galaxy should have been cut off. For it to be used to connect to the main established network of Stargates would require negative calculations within the gate system itself.

Following this logic any further galaxies in the second network hub would use glyph 1 for the 38th galaxy while the 38th galaxy would use a double Point of Origin address(where both the 7th and 8th glyphs are the Point of Origin – The mathematical Glyph 0 –  to reach the hub galaxy previous to it.

This would create a bridge along hub networks with each one down the line dialing a double Point of Origin address to reach the one prior to it while the one prior would simply dial its 38th galaxy glyph. Hub network points would fall in galaxies 3(Milky Way/Avalon because...reasons?), 38, 76, 114,  and so on. This bridge type system would allow them to circumvent the ever increasing power requirements of further travel as well as ultimately removing a projected limit to the number of gate systems.

***Headcannon: What happens to reach Destiny so many galaxies away is the Archive Point(the hard drive of the gate network) initiates a gate buffer bridge(like the Carter-McKay Gate Bridge only much much bigger) to conserve as much energy as it can to send travelers directly to Destiny.

However each link in the bridge is an intergalactic dial along hub galaxies and requires a guaranteed massive amount of power to begin with, thus reaching Destiny requires exorbitant amounts of energy.

Icarus-Class planets have unique high energy naquadria cores allowing for large amounts of power on demand(making the entire planet's core functionally one big naquadah generator). For that reason they are the only worlds that receive gates with DHDs capable of running the nine chevron program code regardless of the presence of all nine chevrons on all gates. And thus the only gates that would be used in the Destiny Bridge buffer dial would be on Icarus-Class planets.

This also entails that one of Destiny's sister-ships must scan the entirety of a hub galaxy to find an Icarus-Class planet to settle a prime gate on to continue on its chain. Unfortunately this means that if a Hub-galaxy loses its Icarus-Class planet then any connection to Destiny will be lost with it.

[sciencespies]

Fine particulate air pollution associated with higher risk of dementia

https://sciencespies.com/environment/fine-particulate-air-pollution-associated-with-higher-risk-of-dementia/

Fine particulate air pollution associated with higher risk of dementia

Using data from two large, long-running study projects in the Puget Sound region — one that began in the late 1970s measuring air pollution and another on risk factors for dementia that began in 1994 — University of Washington researchers identified a link between air pollution and dementia.

In the UW-led study, a small increase in the levels of fine particle pollution (PM2.5 or particulate matter 2.5 micrometers or smaller) averaged over a decade at specific addresses in the Seattle area was associated with a greater risk of dementia for people living at those addresses.

“We found that an increase of 1 microgram per cubic meter of exposure corresponded to a 16% greater hazard of all-cause dementia. There was a similar association for Alzheimer’s-type dementia,” said lead author Rachel Shaffer, who conducted the research as a doctoral student in the UW Department of Environmental & Occupational Health Sciences.

“The ACT Study is committed to advancing dementia research by sharing its data and resources, and we’re grateful to the ACT volunteers who have devoted years of their lives to supporting our efforts, including their enthusiastic participation in this important research on air pollution,” said Dr. Eric Larson, ACT’s founding principal investigator and a senior investigator at KPWHRI.

The study, published Aug. 4 in the journal Environmental Health Perspectives, looked at more than 4,000 Seattle-area residents enrolled in the Adult Changes in Thought (ACT) Study run by Kaiser Permanente Washington Health Research Institute in collaboration with UW. Of those residents, the researchers identified more than 1,000 people who had been diagnosed with dementia at some point since the ACT Study began in 1994.

Once a patient with dementia was identified, researchers compared the average pollution exposure of each participant leading up to the age at which the dementia patient was diagnosed. For instance, if a person was diagnosed with dementia at 72 years old, the researchers compared the pollution exposure of other participants over the decade prior to when each one reached 72. In these analyses, the researchers also had to account for the different years in which these individuals were enrolled in the study, since air pollution has dropped dramatically in the decades since the ACT study began.

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In their final analysis, the researchers found that just a 1 microgram per cubic meter difference between residences was associated with 16% higher incidence of dementia. To put that difference into perspective, Shaffer said, in 2019 there was approximately 1 microgram per cubic meter difference in PM2.5 pollution between Pike Street Market in downtown Seattle and the residential areas around Discovery Park.

“We know dementia develops over a long period of time. It takes years — evendecades — for these pathologies to develop in the brain, and so we needed to look at exposures that covered that extended period,” Shaffer said. And, because of long-running efforts by many UW faculty and others to build detailed databases of air pollution in our region, “we had the ability to estimate exposures for 40 years in this region. That is unprecedented in this research area and a unique aspect of our study.”

In addition to extensive air pollution and dementia data for the region, other study strengths included lengthy address histories and high-quality procedures for dementia diagnoses for the ACT Study participants.

“Having reliable address histories let us obtain more precise air pollution estimates for study participants,” said senior author Lianne Sheppard, a UW professor of environmental and occupational health sciences and of biostatistics. “These high-quality exposures combined with ACT’s regular participant follow-up and standardized diagnostic procedures contribute to this study’s potential policy impact.”

While there are many factors such as diet, exercise and genetics associated with the increased risk of developing dementia, air pollution is now recognized to be among the key potentially modifiable risk factors. The new UW-led results add to this body of evidence suggesting air pollution has neurodegenerative effects and that reducing people’s exposure to air pollution could help reduce the burden of dementia.

“How we’ve understood the role of air pollution exposure on health has evolved from first thinking it was pretty much limited to respiratory problems, then that it also has cardiovascular effects, and now there’s evidence of its effects on the brain,” said Sheppard, who this year was awarded the Rohm & Haas Endowed Professorship of Public Health Sciences.

“Over an entire population, a large number of people are exposed. So, even a small change in relative risk ends up being important on a population scale,” Shaffer said. “There are some things that individuals can do, such as mask-wearing, which is becoming more normalized now because of COVID. But it is not fair to put the burden on individuals alone. These data can support further policy action on the local and national level to control sources of particulate air pollution.”

Co-authors include Magali Blanco, Joel Kaufman, Timothy Larson, Marco Carone, Adam Szpiro and Paul Crane at UW; Ge Li at the VA Puget Sound Health Care System and UW; Sara Adar at the University of Michigan; Eric Larson at the UW School of Medicine and Kaiser Permanente Washington Health Research Institute. This research was funded by multiple supporting grants from the National Institute for Environmental Health Sciences, National Institute on Aging, UW Retirement Association Aging Fellowship, the Seattle chapter of the Achievement Rewards for College Scientists Foundation and others.

#Environment

[nomanwalksalone]

THE SIX-FINGERED SWORD

by Réginald-Jérôme de Mans

Like all members of what used to be called Generation X, I grew up with a fascination for The Princess Bride. Most of us still to this day can repeat much of its dialogue line by line, even Andre the Giant’s stuff that took dozens of viewings to figure out. Today, many dark intervening years have passed since those arrested adolescent days, years whose perspective brings the film closer to the original flawed fairy tale by William Goldman. After all, viewers of the American version of House of Cards can conclude that in the end Buttercup did end up with Prince Humperdinck, sadly. Still, watching The Princess Bride can conjure up some escapist childish joy…along with one abiding minor mystery. Early in the film, Mandy Patinkin’s Spanish swordsman Iñigo Montoya tells the story of his father’s murder for a custom sword made for a six-fingered man, a sword that Montoya has used since childhood to become perhaps the greatest swordsman who ever lived. How did the best swordsman in the world learn on and use a weapon whose balance and grip were made for someone of very different anatomy?

I was reminded of this minor, trifling conundrum in looking at pictures of many of the men who pass for past paragons of style - real men, not the pinned and posed fit models who appear in brand PR. Clothing advertising - the glossy photographs of models posing in a brand’s clothing - is a sort of theatre to showcase clothing, while clothes that fit – one of the reasons to have custom clothing – are an advantage in the theatre of life. However, fit itself is based on another set of snapshots: virtual snapshots, perhaps, but snapshots nonetheless of the wearer’s proportions and posture at the times of measurement and fittings.  

The custom tailors who dressed past icons of style had the vocation of dressing men who moved, who ate, who filled their pockets, who changed their shape.  Today, social media’s simply-captioned photos, worth a thousand adulating, misguided words, are  the vehicle of clothing discourse. You can suggest quality with a single pretty picture, or  communicate that such and such a person was well-dressed by the sheer fact of his wearing a famous tailor’s clothes, such as shoe designer Manolo Blahnik and Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter with their Anderson and Sheppard bespoke suits, or the late French president François Mitterrand, practically synonymous (among French style bloggers) with his French tailors Cifonelli.  It’s a sort of appeal to authority, even if on dispassionate inspection the pictured subjects appear cinched, baggy, or otherwise far from sleekly impeccable in their clothes.  Heck, some currently active tailors have even critiqued the fits of that clothing maven the Duke of Windsor, whose style was his only undisputably positive attribute. Is reputation – of clothier or of wearer – blinding some of us when we pick style icons? As malcontents on Internet forums (remember those?) liked to snipe, were the tailors who clothed these men mediocre?  

As the generously proportioned G.K. Chesterton would no doubt have agreed, the truth is more prosaic, more homely, and somewhat more benign. Men live: we change, bits and parts of our anatomy get thicker or thinner [Editor’s note: insert obligatory gibe for Isle], we may burden our pockets, or we may simply be caught in step or movement that is not flattering in front of the camera. Looking into this, I found that the French blogger lechouandesvilles had been similarly puzzled by Mitterrand’s elevation to style icon – when he died in 1996, magazines had cover stories on le style Mitterrand, down to his red scarf, Gelot hats and Waterman Le Man fountain pen. Apparently not initially a stylish man, he ended his life quite the clotheshorse - the auction catalog for Mitterrand’s personal effects from some years ago features dozens of custom shirts and Cifonelli suits, along with a lot of other sybaritic clothing. However, he seemed to order his clothes, wear them, and forget about the niceties of careful pose.  Not for him the self-conscious splendor of the executive who now features in Cifonelli’s current advertising.   


Clothes are meant to be worn, moved in, used. And today, when (due to distance) many customers only see tailors for fittings every several months, our sizes can vary even while a garment is in progress. Even if we don’t change much physically during the period of ordering and fitting, we obviously change afterwards, for better or for worse. Fit can be more or less forgiving, depending on how willing our old body and new suit are to compromise, or to seek counseling from an alterations tailor. (And that alterations tailor’s talents may be sorely challenged if we’re trying to adapt clothing made for other people, like Inigo using the six-fingered man’s sword.)

Even if I haven’t grown another finger, changes in health and weight over the years brought this home for me. My close-cut shirts no longer fit quite so closely as before. Worth taking back to the maker for adjustment? After years of worrying very much about minute measurements and details, I have made peace with never being able to compare with the lovely composed fitpics of the literally inimitable voxsartoria, the only one of us who actually lives the dream (I’m keeping a sidecar cold for him down my manor). Even though the best-dressed man I know has been known to clip his keys to his briefcase rather than ruin the line of his suits, I will judiciously use my suit pockets (Mitterrand supposedly loaded his up, another reason for his sometimes odd suit fits). I will let the rumples accrue and will wait for the other sword to drop before trying to have my shirts adjusted. The saying that clothes make the man doesn’t give the complete picture; it’s the confidence and comfort of the man in his clothes, and whatever natural charisma he has, that rounds things out. Inigo, trained on a weapon whose construction must have tested his natural talent (and could not have been made for fencing with both the left and right hands), surely would have agreed. Then again, he lost to a man in a black suit.

Quality content, like quality clothing, ages well. This article first appeared on the No Man blog in 2015.

[chaos-monkeyy]

Stargate Atlantis Sheppard/Caldwell smutlet: The burden of command

So I knew before November started that there was no way in hell I’d be able to stay focused on one single fic for an entire month, nanowrimo or not... But I’m honestly surprised I lasted more than a week before getting sidetracked by random smut 😂 

As such, I have allowed myself this morning to get a couple lil one-shots finished and posted, and this is the first one. (Besides, I wrote half of it instead of sleeping last night, so it doesn’t really count anyway 😇)

Full fic is on AO3!

Colonel Steven Caldwell sighed quietly to himself, watching the military leader of the entire Atlantis expedition fidgeting impatiently and pacing the bridge of the Daedalus like a bored teenager. At least no one else was on duty on the bridge at the moment to see Sheppard’s display, the skeleton crew taking the chance to rest while they could.

"Y'know…" Sheppard said thoughtfully, spinning to a stop facing Caldwell's command chair. "We could get away with anything we wanted up here right now."

Caldwell sighed again. "What are you talking about, Sheppard?"

"Well, I'm just sayin’... " Sheppard started moving again, towards Caldwell this time, and Caldwell's jumpsuit abruptly felt a little too warm as Sheppard's gaze raked blatantly up and down the length of his body. Maybe the environmental controls were wonky. "We've got nothing better to do. No one would know. Why not… you know, have a little fun to pass the time?"

"That's a terrible idea, Lieutenant Colonel," Caldwell said gruffly. Or tried to, at least. Keeping his voice steady proved more than a little difficult with Sheppard prowling across the bridge towards him with that crooked, almost-but-entirely-not innocent smile on his lips. "Anyone could just walk in."

"Ah, come on, sir," Sheppard said, rolling his eyes dramatically and coming to a stop right in front of Caldwell's chair. "No one is gonna come in. You can bring up the hallway feed if you're worried, and— I'll make it quick. Just to be on the safe side," he added, grin widening and his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he stepped up on the little platform and completely un-subtly nudged Caldwell's knee open wider with his own.

Caldwell grunted and shifted in his chair, his erection already starting to fill between his legs at the thought— and the memories— of that talented mouth on his cock. Sheppard was watching him like a fucking cat, all eager leashed energy and forbidden promise and an insolent certainty that Caldwell was going to give in.

The smug little bastard was right, of course.

[adrunkgiraffe]

I have been through this journey before, so I get to be actually frustrated about it.

IUnder a read more because im not subjecting y’all to this. Also: I should caveat I haven’t watched the episode cause I’m waiting till its on Netflix but I have watched way too many other episodes of Supernatural so I have a right to say these things. 

TL;DR: I mean you all knew Cas’ confession was fucking bullshit and that SPN is...hm. But I’d like to actually express my genuine frustration, for a moment? I’m going to say things you already know, but I have too much knowledge of this show and too much stupid meta in my brain about a series I haven’t genuinely enjoyed for at least 5 years which makes this not just blandly bad but disgustingly insulting to me not even as a gay just as like. A writer?

Or, even shorter: Cas’ confession is just a Charlie Bradbury Speedrun 

So. As some of you may know if, for some reason, you followed me back in 2013 (and till...okay fine 2015), I used to be, uh. Really into SPN. Really, I was into Destiel. Like, as in, I slogged through seasons 1-3 to get to Cas and am also really vulnerable to the Sunk Cost Fallacy and projecting onto characters. (I was in 8th grade in 2013, okay? Get off my back)

Also, because I monopolised use of the TV, I kind of...also got my parents into it? In a “this is silly but fun” kind of way.

Over time, critiques of the show from viewers, learning what queerbaiting is at all, fatigue with how long it was going, and also fatigue from how characters I enjoyed, like Rufus, or Crowley, or Ellen, or Jo, or Kevin, or Charlie, or Cas a few times, kept getting killed off. As time went on, it didn’t escape my notice that, aside from Cas, all of these characters fit one or more of the following criteria:

They were a woman

They were a person of color

Were Queer or Queer-coded in some way (listen Crowley was bad rep but at least Mark Sheppard actually kissed a man on screen)

I also just...generally got tired of the way the show treats women and sidelines people of color. 

The final straw really came with Charlie’s death. It got us all excited, because she hadn’t been back in a bit! And it was interesting to see how reuniting with her dark side from Oz had changed her! (yeah remember the fucking Wizard of Oz storyline? The writers sure don’t!) And maybe she’d get developed! Because at this point, Charlie and the fairly good writing of her character was a major upside for the series! Charlie was cool, fun, gay, and morally complex in a way...none of the female characters had been before her, in large part because by definition, her relationship with the boys would always be platonic.

And then. Offscreen. She is violently murdered. For no damn good reason. Like, literally, her being brought back in this episode after fucking off to europe after having returned from fucking off to Oz seems to have filled two purposes in total. 

The codex is solved (but Sam doesn’t know till next episode)

Charlie is dead, which means Dean can be angry, specifically at Sam, and kill more people because he’s the big bad this season. 

That’s it. Two things. Twooooo whole reasons to do this episode. Whoopee. 

But you didn’t come here for this, you came here for me to rip this reveal to shreds. Don’t worry, I’ll get there. What I want in your minds is that Supernatural already had a really good anddynamic queer character. And then they killed her off to make Dean angry. No, it doesn’t matter that they brought her back in season 13 or whatever. They made that decision. 

After the rage this incited, I started realizing general flaws in the writing (I had probably already noticed them but now I was angry enough to complain.) Every conflict is born of Sam and Dean not communicating/taking on burdens and Dean being angry at Cas for reasons that ranged from good to ridiculous, but in a way that always went way too fucking long, (which...yes, does make the “you do it for love” gifs fucking hilarious). It didn’t help that seasons 11 and 12 were next, which meant Demon Dean and GOD’S FUCKING SISTER, plus the decision to resurrect Mary, which, while I do like her later scenes, as a season 12 finale it...well I’ll be honest it kinda sucked. It undercut the majority of the Winchester’s’ arcs and their slow and painful journey out of their father’s toxic vengeance quest and knowing Mary as a person when it’s too late to know her was one of the last semi-compelling grounders of the narrative. 

By this point it was a hate-watch for my parents and I.

So then, I’m at college, and I’m not watching anymore cause I don’t have the motivation or access to Hulu to continue, and SPN is bad. I watch the Scooby Doo crossover when it comes out and my friend and I make fun of it, and we also continue making jokes about Dean and Cas and queerbaiting because we’re queer, but I don’t keep up. My Dad does though, so when I return, I watch some with the fam and lads. It’s even more tiring without context. 

So flash forward to Quarantine, my sister, the only one with taste, has left, and we have run out of netflix to watch. So we return to the well, and seasons 13-14 are. I’m gonna say it. Bad. Really fucking bad. The cycle of bad communication continues, season 14 has like seven antagonists and the way it’s structured makes it so I literally cannot remember the timeline of a season I watched 3 months ago. Oh also, they have a queer coded cannibal snake monster for...well I guess Jack’s snake bud was cool but like. Huh wow it’s almost like these writers don’t handle queers well. 

Our one saving grace is Cas, but he’s barely in any episodes, though I did note that his deal with the empty, being happy completely for one moment killing him, that struck me as “this has potential and I know they’re gonna half-ass it somehow.” Also Jack and Mary, but then oh...plot….The most compelling it gets is literally the finale.

But then, 3 days later, the first half of season 15 comes out on Netflix and it’s...actually kind of acceptable. The new character they give Jack’s actor is fun to watch him play until they make him evil. Exploring just how toxic Chuck can be gave the series direction again. The alternate future was genuinely scarring, and Eileen’s return was genuinely moving. Most of all, though, Cas got the opportunity to tell Dean no, that Dean was being unfair to him, had always been unfair to him, and he was sick of it. I had no illusions, I knew Destiel was never gonna happen, and Cas was gonna die, but giving him that bit of agency, letting Cas grow and be self-sufficient, and be angry with Dean not for existential reasons but interpersonal ones, was such a good sign for me, and Dean grew too! Dean fucking apologized for being horrible and Jensen Ackles had a...yknow what, ill give it to him, he had a good acting moment. 

But the thing. About. The “I love you.” 

Let’s take it in parts.

What was good: I’m gonna admit it, lads, “Wanting what I can’t have” - AS A LINE - is good, and, structurally, there is something to the Empty Deal that could have been an interesting aspect of Cas’ arc when it comes to self actualization and being on even footing with Dean. The problem is, this is Supernatural, and that arc only comes up when I bring it up because character study, even in bad media, is fun for me. 

What was bad:

I mean. Like. All of it? All of it. 

Okay. Fine. I’ll be specific. 

Cas dies immediately when - possibly because- he is revealed as having feelings for Dean. They kill him as they queer him, that’s a Bury Your Gays Speedrun right there.

Like the least they could have done is have him mention it to someone in another scene or something to establish some romantic feelings on the part of canon a full episode beforehand. That would have been the literal bare minimum. 

When Cas starts praising Dean, for some reason both the writing and Misha’s acting take a bit of a downswing (from...where it already was). Cas, whose most powerful moment this season was acknowledging that Dean’s anger at him is cruel and unfair, flatly praises him for doing everything out of love and it reads with a misunderstanding of both Dean as a character and Cas’ understanding of Dean. Dean is angry! VERY ANGRY! And it’s a problem he needs to work on and rarely does. 

Talking out of my ass, a better speech would have been about how Dean is angry because of his love for Sam, family, and the people around him, how, for better or for worse, he can’t help but be angry on behalf of others, and that his journey of moving that tendency towards the better is what made Cas care so much. Guys this alteration to the metaphor took 2 minutes to write tops I am an Art History student and these are TV WRITERS WITH YEARS OF EXPERIENCE CAN YOU TELL THEYRE NOT TRYING YET? 

A better speech would, of course, have come out of a better series. My point: this part was half-assed. Poorly written. Wow it’s almost like the series is also poorly written. 

 Also, Misha is the better actor of the three(***OF THE THREE), but his choices in that scene are jarringly out of character which. Makes the bad writing worse. It doesn’t help that they cut to the same fucking shot of Dean 3 times. The chemistry in that scene makes it feel so fucking hackneyed. Because it is. 

This combines lead me to the point: (wait there was a point to this?)

As someone who does not have the luxury of watching this capsized ship fall into boiling seas from a distance, it is less insulting to me that they did this so last minute and then sent Cas to the Void than it is how they did it. They had ingredients for something that could have been compelling enough to me as a former fan of the show to think that they had put effort into it, that they had decided months, perhaps even years ago to do this, and had crafted a storyline around it. That this was an intentional decision they cared about. It wasn’t. It was barely even pandering, because it’s almost insultingly blatant. 

SPN kinda proved to me that it didn’t care about queers when Charlie was killed off. It proved it to me again when Cas, not only died in confessing his love for Dean but did it in the weakest result of what could have been a surprisingly strong story.

[profeminist]

“We, the undersigned businesses, stand with the millions of people in America who identify as transgender, gender non-binary, or intersex, and call for all such people to be treated with the respect and dignity everyone deserves.

We oppose any administrative and legislative efforts to erase transgender protections through reinterpretation of existing laws and regulations. We also fundamentally oppose any policy or regulation that violates the privacy rights of those that identify as transgender, gender non-binary, or intersex.

In the last two decades, dozens of federal courts have affirmed the rights and identities of transgender people. Cognizant of growing medical and scientific consensus, courts have recognized that policies that force people into a binary gender definition determined by birth anatomy fail to reflect the complex realities of gender identity and human biology.

Recognizing that diversity and inclusion are good for business, and that discrimination imposes enormous productivity costs (and exerts undue burdens), hundreds of companies, including the undersigned, have continued to expand inclusion for transgender people across corporate America. Currently more than 80 percent of the Fortune 500 have clear gender identity protections; two-thirds have transgender-inclusive healthcare coverage; hundreds have LGBTQ+ and Allies business resource groups and internal training efforts.

Transgender people are our beloved family members and friends, and our valued team members. What harms transgender people harms our companies.

We call for respect and transparency in policy-making, and for equality under the law for transgender people.”

Accenture Adobe Systems Inc. Airbnb Altria Group Amalgamated Bank Amazon American Airlines Apple Automatic Data Processing Inc. (ADP) Bank of America Merrill Lynch Ben & Jerry’s Homemade BNY Mellon Cargill Cisco Systems Inc. Citi Clifford Chance Corning Incorporated Corteva Agriscience™, the Agriculture Division of DowDuPont Deutsche Bank E. I. du Pont de Nemours and Company Facebook Fastly, Inc. Google Hogan Lovells International LLP HSBC IBM Corporation Intel Corporation Intuit Inc. Iron Mountain JPMorgan Chase & Co. Levi Strauss & Co. LinkedIn Lush Handmade Cosmetics Lyft Marriott International MassMutual MGM Resorts International Microsoft Corp. Nike Inc. PepsiCo Replacements, Ltd. Ropes & Gray Royal Bank of Canada S&P Global Salesforce Sheppard Mullin Sodexo Inc. Splunk State Street Corporation The Coca-Cola Company The Dow Chemical Company TiVo Corporation Trillium Asset Management Twitter Inc. Uber Warby Parker

Read the full piece here

[ao3feed-mcshep]

and oh poor atlas, the worlds a beast of a burden

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3ftVsgB

by halestrom

John had never met someone he had wanted to sink his teeth into and keep, not the way he wanted to keep Rodney.

Words: 108545, Chapters: 6/6, Language: English

Fandoms: Stargate Atlantis

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex, Teyla Emmagan, Richard Woolsey, Evan Lorne, Radek Zelenka, Miko Kusanagi, Jack O'Neill, Samantha "Sam" Carter

Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard, Jennifer Keller/Rodney McKay, John Sheppard/OFC

Additional Tags: Angst, Pining, so much pining, Slow Burn, Independent Atlantis, Team as Family, BAMF Rodney McKay, Slow Romance, John has a lot of feelings he just can't express most of them

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3ftVsgB

[beesandbooks1]

Pride Month: Top Five LGBTQ+ Fiction

To read this post on my blog instead, click here!

Hello book bees and welcome to another Pride themed post! Today I’ll be covering my top five fiction books about LGBTQ+ stories/characters! A fair warning, these are not ranked from best to least of my top five, they’re all on equal standing as my favorites!

1. Marriage of Unconvenience by Chelsea M. Cameron

This book is a wonderful tropey mess! The concept behind it is a “fake marriage to lovers” trope in which two young women who have been lifelong best friends get married to ease one another’s financial burdens and discover how much they truly love one another. [Goodreads]

2. Confessions of the Fox by Jordy Rosenberg

This book was hilariously written and fascinating at the same time. Taking place in dual timelines, Confessions of the Fox tells the story of a professor investigating the life of infamous historical jail breaker Jack Sheppard. Dr. Voth himself is threatened both by the deep emotional response to his recent romantic disaster and by the strange forces trying to obtain the manuscript he has his hands on. Meanwhile Voth explores the story of Jack, whose origins are very close to those of Voth. [Goodreads]

3. Cinder Ella by ST Lynn

This book, my god, this book. If you’re looking for the sweetest and most heartfelt of Cinderella retellings, this one is absolutely it. Ella is a black trans woman whose stepfamily refuse her identity, leading her to seek acceptance while in disguise. Ella is also a lesbian, seeking out the attentions of the princess at the ball rather than a prince. Though short, this retelling is an absolute must read. [Goodreads]

4. The Gods of Tango by Carolina De Robertis

In this book, young Leda travels from Italy to Buenos Aires, Argentina, to be with her lawfully wedded husband. There however she discovers that he has died tragically, leaving Leda a widow with impossible dreams. Leda then begins life again as Dante, a talented musician and ladies’ man. Dante’s story is very emotional, with love and desire and music all tangled together. Though the words to describe it are left out of the narrative, it becomes clear from Dante’s final choices that he desired to live as and be a man. [Goodreads]

5. The Scorpion Rules by Erin Bow

This book isn’t particularly widely known, but I know it because Bow graduated from the same college as I did. She visited my undergraduate school while I was there studying creative writing, and I bought this during her visit. I proceeded to devour it and write a final essay on it for my literary theory course. Bow’s main protagonist in this very literal presentation of the Panopticon is strong, fierce, philosophic, and bisexual. Seriously, if you’re into YA dystopian fiction, I recommend checking this one out!

Tell me in the comments some of your top fiction choices with LGBTQ+ characters, stories, and authors!

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