#the can was a must even tho it was some ass littering

[aye-aye-captain]

Details from "The Terror (Season 1)" Filming Location ⏐Pag⏐Croatia⏐2/2

[monst]

Give me some smutty kaminari content... i'm torn between fae and vampire, tho i can also totally see him as an incubus

Unwilling Sacrifice

All Characters 21+

Incubus! Kaminari Denki x Reader

Warnings: Sexy time actions, Size difference, Slight belly bulging, Shitty friends you met at a pub and a sassy Dark shadow 

 Look this was just supposed to be a short thirst post I dunno what happened...

                 You chewed your lower lip nervously, your eyes slating towards your other friends who stood at their points of the star. Sweat coated your palms as you felt your heart bounce to an unrecognizable beat. A cold tingling sensation slithered around your veins and settled in your belly as the others began to chant. The intonation was unnatural, word curling and coiling in the smoke of the candles. It was then that you felt the pressure.

               The air felt thick and palpable, lithe shadows began to stretch and groan. You tired your hardest to ignore the dark tendrils slithering around the walls as they closed in on the five of you. Out of the corner of your eyes you could see how mass of nothingness coiled around your chanting group surrounding the lot of you in a pit of tar. You pressed your eyes shut your clammy hands shaking in the grasp of the others.

               ‘This is so wrong.’ 

          It was the only thought that trembled in your mind as you were coated in black. When the utterance of words finally ceased you dared a look. And you saw nothing. You could feel Jirou’s fingers tighten around your hand and relaxed your form. A chopped exhale escaped your lips when the wicks lit up again. It was then that you met the furrowed brows of Tokoyami.

               “It didn’t work.” He frowned.

               The dark mass jutting out of his back snickered. “Told ya~ You can’t get rid of me that easy~”

               A collective groan was heard from all parties as you all detached. You were still shaken but relief washed over you as your friends huffed in annoyance and began to argue with the demonic entity possessing your friend.  You shivered at the sudden breeze that penetrated your dark cloak. The cool material did nothing to warm you. The realization had you turning to Shinsou.

               You played with your fingers as you called out the man’s name. “C-can we all get dressed now? I-It’s kinda cold.”

               “Yeah sure, let’s just turn off the candles first. We don’t want to burn the place down.” He smiled.

               You nodded gratefully and immediately squatted down to blow out the tiny flames. You pursed you lips, ready to blow out a stream of air when you noticed how silent it suddenly was. Curiosity filled your pores and you turned to where they were gathered. You felt your marrow freeze when you caught the terror swimming in their eyes.

               “Looks like you all let someone else out to play~” The dark shadow leered.

               You felt your bottom lip quiver and ever so slowly, like the hands of a rusty clock you turned your head to the center of the circle. Ice filled your veins as you made out two large hands jutting out from a swirling black ink. Dark nails seamed to be filed to a point as they grasped the edges of the hole in an effort to pull itself out. You fell back onto your ass stilled in horror. Regret flooded your being as you crawled backwards, desperately trying to put distance between yourself and that creature.

               “T-that thing’s going to destroy us all.” You heard someone whisper. You felt your eyes flood and they quickly overflowed as you stared at the gargantuan being pull the top of it’s head out of the ever growing hole. ‘I just wanted some friends’ You hyperventilated. ‘Not the end of the fucking world!’

               “How the fuck do we stop it from getting out!” Jirou shouted at the parasitic demon on Tokoyami.

               “And why shou-“

               “Just tell us!” Tokoyami gulped “I-I’ll stop trying to get rid of you, just tell us how to send it back.” The shadow placed a claw to his chin a faux expression of thought on it’s face.

               “Please!” Tokoyami trembled.

               “Ugh fine.” He huffed. “You all are so dramatic, it’s actually really simple. Just toss it a sacrifice.” He shrugged.

               “S-sacrifice?!” You mumbled.

               “Uh-huh, and by the looks of it, I know exactly whose it going to be.” The being grinned maliciously his red gaze seeming to singe your clammy skin.

               Your head whirled; eyes blown wide as you realized that you were relatively new to their group of friends. Distress crossed your features as you stood on wobbly legs eager to get away. However, you were quickly stopped. Strong pale arms wrapped around your middle and drug you to the center.

               “Hitoshi no!” You wailed, rivets of tears staining your cheeks. “Please no!”

               “I’m sorry (Name)” He whispered, pulling your struggling body towards the large clawed hand that now lay outstretched. The demonic entity in the whole seemed content enough with a mortal sacrifice almost as if it was glad to leave the chore of lifting itself out of the hole. Shinsou took advantage of your gaze on the hand and shoved you towards it. Gravity shifted and you faced the ceiling as your body hit the steaming flesh of the hand.

               You cried out as it closed its fingers, thumb pressed firmly against your waist to keep you from budging. Your terrified gaze caught the eyes of your so-called friends. A sickening bitterness clawed at your throat as they watched in remorse as the hand dragged you down into the inky black. There look of guilt was the last you saw as you were swallowed by the void.

.

.

.

   “Hu….M

     Hum…an

     Mortal!”

               The throaty growl brought you back to consciousness. And as soon as your eyes focused a scream bubbled from your lips. You scrambled backwards you’re back hitting a meaty wall of flesh. Your chest heaved in rapid succession as you notice that you were still in it’s hand. Golden eyes gazed at you quizzically when you tried to leap out of his hand.

               “I wouldn’t do that mortal.” It rumbled. Your eyes shot up to it’s face. Cattish eyes looked down at your trembling in mild disinterest as you gripped tightly to it’s thumb as it turned you like a doll to face the ground. Your heart jumped to your mouth when you saw the distance. “That’s a 10 meter drop a puny human like you would probably die of impact. That or you’ll break all your toothpick like bones.”

               You swallowed thickly, relief filling you when he? turned his palm up. “Your so tiny.” He muttered. You didn’t reply, as a matter of fact you were silent as he walked through the sizzling hellscape.

“You have such awful companion’s human.” He mused as he reached a place that didn’t have your skin slippery with sweat. You noticed that the land was barren, devoid of plants, water…life. He continued his silent march and you had relaxed enough to take notice of his appearance.

Hay colored hair fluttered with every step the behemoth took, Amber eyes split in half by his cattish pupils. Thick ram like horns protruded from his head curving in a loop and then pointing to the sky, they were a deep charcoal and seemed to match the forked tail that swayed around cool air as it moved behind him. He also had massive wings; you couldn’t fathom how something as big as him was able to fly. ‘His wingspan must be terrifying you thought’ as you watched the leathery flesh stretch every so often.

The skin of his arms was the same inky color, they almost seemed like evening gloves as they tapered away into a smooth pale color. The same could be said for his legs or what you could see of them from where you were perched. Familiar runes littered the pale areas of his skin, the markings identical to the ones your ’friends’ had drawn in the room.

“Do I appeal to your sight human.” The large being snickered.

“Not at all.” You muttered dishonestly. There was a strange….beauty to the creature. However, you weren’t about to mention it.

“You lie mortal.” He hummed, you scoffed at the presumptuous comment.  “My father is the patron of deceit; I can detect from miles away little one.”

“W-where are we going?” You quired deciding to change the topic.

“To my home.” He replied, he lifted a long black claw and pointed to the distant grey mountains.

“Why are you taking me there?” You frowned. “Don’t demons eat souls or something?”

“Some do.” You bristled at the answer, worry creasing your forehead as you figured he was taking you home to prepare you like on did wild game. ‘He’s going to make fucking soup out of me!’ You panicked. “I do not.”

‘…Oh’

“Y-you didn’t answer my question, why are you taking me there?” You questioned once more. A reddish hue stained the creature’s cheeks, his majestic eyes avoiding your puny form.

“It.” He paused. “It is rather embarrassing.” He grunted, you waited for him to elaborate. Growing ballsy you cleared you throat.

“I may be in need of help…” He slowly worded. “You see how large I am correct?” ‘Hard not to’ you thought as you nodded. “Well most demons of my kind are this massive, but we take smaller form to interact with the mortals in the realm of the living. Taking smaller form is generally pretty easy if you have enough essence and well…I do not have enough.”

“…So, you want my essence?” You concluded; it was his turn to nod. “It’s not going to hurt though…right?”

The demon spluttered, crimson tinting his skin up to his ears. “N-no it s-should feel rather pleasant.” He coughed.

It was then that you put two and two together. You had studied up hard to be inducted in Jirou’s secret friend group, you read a plethora of occult books, books on charms, spells… demonology. A furious heat bloomed across your cheeks as you realized what the creature meant by essence.

“Y-you’re an incubus aren’t you.” You mumbled. You felt your body jolt as he exhaled, you were finally at the base of the mountains.

“A rather ‘shitty’ one at that.” He frowned. “I’ve… I’ve actually never been to the other side, the mortal realm as we call it.”

“Wait…. So your-“You were cut off.

“No, I’ve been with females of my kind but not with humans.” He informed, clutching you close to his chest as he stretched his wings. The flapping sound was ear piercingly loud and you hugged his fingers as you felt him ascend.

“Why didn’t you just fly here?” You mumbled as his feet hit the ground of a brightly lit cave.

“….” He didn’t reply, you only saw the tips of his pointed ears redden. All fright had left you long ago as you soon realized what a dork the ‘titan’ was. He set you down onto the plush…rug? No, bed to you it looked to be a rug. It was then that you became hesitant.

“U-um d-demon?” You mumbled.

“Denki.” After giving you his name, his palm came against his forehead a loud slap rattling your ear drums.

“Did you just?” You snickered, amused that the demon willingly gave you his name.

“Yes, human laugh at my failure.” He pouted.    

“(Name)” You supplied, reaching out your hand. A smile lit up his features as his thumb and index finger grasped your hand in a handshake.

“D-denki.” You began. “It’s not that I’m opposed to giving you my ‘essence’” You flushed

“But?”

“How the hell would that even work?! Y-Your is literally the size of my body!?” You squeaked pointing at the flesh that was ill-concealed by a loincloth.

A lecherous smirk grazed his visage as his forked tongue skimmed his lower lip. Your face was on fire. You chewed on your lower lip already knowing that you were going to have sex with him. However, he was still confused as to why.

“Why do you seem so okay with this hu- (Name).” He asked.

“Isn’t it obvious? You get essence and can use your magic freely. You take us back to the ‘human world’ You can get more essence and I can get revenge.” You shrugged.

“And why would I take you back?” He challenged.

“Well if you go back on your own what would you do? Your basically naked, you have no idea how the world over there works and you did say that you were a ‘shitty’ incubus so good luck picking up humans.” You listed.

“Dark Shaodw set me the perfect human.” He grinned.

“Wait? What?”-

“Let us begin…..”

.

.

.

            “Any day now.” You snickered, you had dropped your robe a while ago and were getting an ego boost as Denki gazed at your body a deep blush consuming his face.

               “Hu- (Name) you are a very attractive mortal.” He complimented. “B-but what if I harm you? You’re like a mouse to me.”

               “J-just lift me up and sit me on your face.” You stuttered a scorching heat seeping into your being. Your thighs pressing together at the mere thought of something so lewd. The demon lifted you with ease his pupils thin lines as he caught scent of your arousal.

               “(Name) do all humans smell this enticing when aroused?” He groaned. You felt your core pulse as his forked tongue wet his lips. He was eager. You flushed as the heat of your cunt met the smooth skin of his lips.

               Both of his thumbs settled on the warm skin of your chest, the rough flesh of his fingertips brushing against your nipples with purpose. When you parted your legs, a gasp slipped past your lips. His plump lips were slick with saliva and you rolled your hips against them with ease. Your essence trickled down into his awaiting mouth with each grind and you squealed at the vibration of his pleased moan.

               His fingers didn’t allow you to fall forward as the quivering of his throaty groans shook your body. It was better than any vibrator you had ever used, and you reveled in the feeling. Delighted sighs escaped your parted lips as his tongue joined the fete. The thick muscle pulsed against your dripping cunt, it slithered between your lips, tracing your folds with lavish care. The heat of his tongue pressed firmly against you and you cried out his name as the length of it struck your clit.

               “T-there.” You gasped, brining your hips flush against the wet appendage. The incubus quickly complied, tongue dancing around the sensitive nerves. He could feel his length throb with every whine and moan you exhaled. And your taste? It was as though he were drinking the nectar of the sweetest honey suckle, he’d had the pleasure of finding. He couldn’t get enough of it.

               You were like an endless river tapering off into what seemed like an eternal waterfall. He was glad that his tongue wasn’t as bland as a humans and slid one of the sides of his tongue down. Your thighs quivered in ecstasy as he traced your entrance. His golden hues widened when he pressed his tongue through, to him it was a cavern to be explored as he dove the muscle in deeper.

               “Ah~ Denki holy f-fuck.” You squealed. Although it wasn’t much of a stretch it left you seeing stars. The textured side of his tongue pressed against the sides of your walls and you were sure that if he continued, he’d find-

               Denki chuckled at the sound that slithered past your wet lips. Whatever he had found had you squirming above with. With each press to the nook you trembled, and your vocalized pleasure pitched higher… He wanted to see you come undone. He continued to abuse the spot all the while flicking the rest of his tongue across your clit. Needless to say, you didn’t last long before your toes curled, and your walls fluttered around his tongue.

               Another squeal left your lips as he tried to drink you dry, his mouth closing around your pussy. His lips latched onto your throbbing heat with fervor and your legs trembled in overstimulation. Your fingers gripped his thumbs pressing your chest against them harder as he tore another release from you. Your back arched as you expelled streams of gushing liquid from your wet ass pussy. It was when you weakly pushed against his top lip that he pulled away.

               He set you down on the plush bed and you watched in awe as his body shrunk. He still towered over you standing at a good eight feet in height however at least he’s be able to claim your lips. His wet lips collided with yours eagerly his tireless tongue worming it’s way into your mouth. Your fingers tangled themselves into the soft silky stands of his hair as he reached the back of your throat. His forked muscle dove up and down, your mind spun in breathlessness and you pulled back. You guzzled air greedily a winded chuckle spilling in between your gasps.

               “I’m assuming you don’t need to breathe.” You joked.

               “Sorry.” He grinned sheepishly.  

               “Well at least you’re at a semi-normal height now.” You panted.

               “Eight feet is normal?” He questioned.

               “It’s not uncommon. There have been taller people.�� You replied finally breathing through your nose. You were beginning to relax when you felt him part your legs. “Wait what are you-“

               “Well we got to get me to down to a smaller human height. I’m not trying to stand out too much.” He winked. You gazed down at his imposing length.

               “That’s still a bit too big.” You laughed.

               “It’ll adjust.” He responded a grin turning up his lips as he circled the head of your clit with his head.

               “A-adjust?” You questioned a gasp parting your lips as he pressed the tip of his length into you. Your hands gripped his horns tightly as he bent over you feeding you inches of his cock. Your eyes rolled back as you were stretched beyond what you thought possible. You were incredibly full of him, he grabbed one of your hands and pressed it to your belly where you could feel the imprint of him.

               “(Name)?” He growled; voice strained from the tight squeeze. “Make a deal with me right now. You won’t leave me once we get to the human realm.”

.

.

.

               You tossed the demon a pair of sweats that you had lying at the bottom of your drawer. The man grimaced as he slid them on. He was still trying to grow accustomed to human clothing. He felt strange looking at his reflection, the lack of horns and wings was something else he hadn’t gotten used to.

               “I still think I should keep at least my tail.” He pouted.

               “Absolutely not.” You laughed. The demon heaved a sigh as he crawled onto the bed his eyes half lidded glowing a vibrant amber. “Ugh don’t tell me you want to go again. You ate from what’s her face yesterday. Now your just being greedy.”  

               “That’s not it.” He paused “I was just curious.”

               “About?”

               “Your revenge? Are you still going to get back at them?”

[singulari-taee]

The Danger in Duality | 08

COLLEGE! AU  |  ASSASSIN! AU  |  ANGST  | SMUT  | COMEDY | 10k

BTS X Reader

CW: Graphic depictions of violence and sexually explicit content

“You and your seven squad members must take on the struggles of being world-class assassins while also living as full-time college students.”

__________________________________________________

“Well, that was depressing,” Hoseok said after the call dropped.

Defeat washed over the room. 

“What are the chances?” Namjoon asked. His fingers clasped in front of his face, expression etched in deep thought, “20 miles? That’s nothing.”

“Didn’t Squad 8 have something similar happen to them a few years ago, but with a different group?” Taehyung asked.

“Yeah but it was just a small rivalry, and Squad 8 handled it in a couple weeks. Anti or whoever keeps targeting The Academy’s squads...and they’re so close,” he said, “The Academy is the biggest organization of it’s kind in the world, so my guess is that Anti set up camp so close to make some sort of territory war.”

“But why do we have to be the ones caught in the middle?” Jimin said.

“Right, we literally could have been stationed anywhere,” you huffed.

“Well, since we’re the best squad, and Grandpa kind of prioritises us, he wanted us closer to home...like regional guards I guess,” Taehyung said.

“So essentially...nepotism came back to bite us in the ass,” you said.

“It wasn’t nepotism!” Namjoon began to fight, but he shared a look with Taehyung and didn’t continue.

“Well then why not start by targeting us if we’re the closest?” Hoseok asked.

“Maybe they were using the other squads as practice before they got to us,” Namjoon shrugged, “or maybe it was just a warning.”

Silence.                     

“I can’t do this right now,” Seokjin sighed, carding a hand through his hair as he walked to his room, “The mission is tomorrow and I gotta prepare.”

“Hey! Are you still watching the game with us tonight?” Hoseok called after him.

“Maybe,” he shut the door behind him.

“I’m gonna head out too,” you said.

“Woah, I thought you wanted to watch it!” Hoseok whined.

“Sorry, Seokjin’s right though. I need to prepare for tomorrow and I still have a shit ton of homework.”

“I’ll pass too,” Jungkook said as he and Taehyung followed you to the door.

“Oh not you too!” Hoseok threw his arms up.

“You know I don’t even like basketball,” Jungkook said, “Damn, Seokjin still has my calculator.”

Jungkook jogged to the oldest’s room and flung open the door.

Seokjin stood in nothing but boxers in the middle of the room. He was quick to cover himself as he let the profanity fly.

“Fuck are you doing?! Ever heard of knocking, you little shit?! Get out!”

He pushed Jungkook to the door, but the youngest pushed back effortlessly as he made his way to the calculator on the desk.

“Oops. Forgot this.” he said, “And you know how it works. If you really didn’t want anyone to come in, you would have locked it.”

“That’s not how this works! It’s my room!”

“What are you doing anyway?”

“Changing- you know what, I don’t need to explain myself to you. Move!” he shoved the youngest out of the room and locked the door.

“Yeah, so...I’m gonna go,” you said. You spared a glance back at Yoongi, who’s eyes followed you as you walked out of the apartment.

Jungkook and Taehyung were close behind. The sun had almost fully set, and it stretched over the horizon in a spray of oranges and reds. You neared the fork in the road, an indication to go your separate ways. 

“Hey,” Jungkook said, “When the hell can I get that SIG-Sauer P228 off your hands?”

You scoffed, “I still can’t believe it's not too basic for you. That’s, like, a 3rd week of training level pistol.”

“No, what? Shut up! What do you even know?”

“I know that it’s basic.”

“Basic?! You’ve got the special limited holiday edition! It’s got the gold two-tone finish and the indented grip. Oh fuck and the light-weight. Ugh-,” he shook his head as he looked up at the sky, smiling. “And you promised!”

“You know he’s not gonna let it go now,” Taehyung warned.

“Okay, whatever fine, just come by and get it.”

Jungkook turned and you stuck your hand out, “What?”

“Woah, not right now.”

“Not now?! Then when?!” his arms flapped at his side, making him look like a tantrum-throwing child.

You shrugged and walked on, “Not now.”

He called after you, each word followed by a curse. It was true, you had promised that you would give him the gun soon. You rarely used it and when you told him you had it collecting dust in the back of your closet he all but ripped your head off, going on about how you didn’t respect the craft and how he’d save it from the likes of you (whatever the hell that meant). There was just no way you could deal with the company now, and the sooner you were back to your room the better.

As you neared your apartment, you saw a familiar car in the parking lot. The warning was all you needed to mentally prepare yourself for your roommate.

Turning your key in the lock, you pushed inside. Luna sat on the sofa, focused on her laptop.

“Hey!” she chirped, “How was your day?”

“Hey,” you nodded, “Okay, just stressful as usual.”

“Aww I’m sorry to hear that. Wanna come study with me?” she asked, patting the spot next to her.

You looked down the hall. The sanctuary of your room was just so close.

“Ah, damn. I’m just really tired, I don’t think I can focus right now.”

“Oh...I see,” she said in a low voice. The disappointment was clear, “It’s just that we never really see each other or hang out. We live together but I don’t really feel like I know you.”

And you never really will, you thought.

“I know,” you played with your fingers, “Tonight's just not good for me. But we can hang out soon. I promise. I’ll...try and make time for it.”

“Really? Okay! Sounds good,” she smiled, “Oh, and I already made dinner, there’s some left on the stove if you get hungry.”

With a thanks you went to your room, shut the door, and threw yourself on the bed. The blank ceiling didn’t help to clear your mind, just made it easier for your thoughts to race out of control.

It was all just so much.

Being hunted. 

Being on top of the food chain, you never knew what it was like to be the prey. There was nothing good about feeling so exposed, especially when their den was supposedly 20 or so miles away. Why did it have to be so close? You couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched even within the confines of your mind and home. The news was messing with you.

Tomorrow’s mission. 

It would be easy, but you hadn’t been on a unit mission in a while, and there was always more pressure when the whole squad wasn’t present. It would only be three of you, and only two would even enter the scene at all. Shouldn’t they have mixed up the skill-set and gotten someone else other than him? Hoseok would have been great on a stealth mission like this. And why did it have to be Yoongi of all people?

Yoongi.

The confusion you felt throughout the day came rushing back again. You couldn’t understand the reason behind his thought process. He was always so hard to read and today was no different. He never seemed like the casual ‘come over and let’s just chill’ type. He always needed his space, and given your past relationship you were always more than willing to give that to him. But with your new arrangements, having him want to see you beyond lust muddied the waters. Yes, you were friends. As strange as you liked to show it, you had been so for years. But never had you made an effort to spend time alone unless it was for work. Something about it felt wrong- even more so than the hookups. It felt like a new boundary was being crossed, one that was even scarier than the first. 

But god how you wanted him. 

He looked oddly beautiful watching the film earlier. Seeing him in gruesome violence for years, the delicate nature of the scene was enough to take you aback. There was just something about his gentleness....

You caught yourself. The corners of your lips shifted up without approval and you wiped it clean. 

No. He only wanted this because you’re the only option. It was a safe investment- not because he felt anything else. And neither did you. Nope. You couldn’t. It was against the rules.

You slapped your hand against the bed, and pushed yourself towards the bathroom for a shower. As the water ran, you stripped down in front of the mirror. Your naked body was littered with nearly invisible scratches and bruises- the norm considering your routine. You couldn’t recall the last time you saw your skin clear of any marks.

Your phone buzzed against the counter top, a sign of a text message.

Picking it up, you noticed the speed of your heart change.

-------------------

Yoongi: You get home okay?

--------------------

You rolled your eyes. As if you couldn’t handle making your way home “okay”.

---------------------

You: No

Yoongi: ???

You: Some guys told me they’d give me candy if I got in their van so 💁 

         idk where we’re goin tho. 

          just cruisin rn.

Yoongi: Stop

You: Lmaooo take a joke

Yoongi: Today was fun

--------------------

The butterflies fluttered in your stomach a bit.

---------------------------

You: Yeah great movie choice btw

Yoongi:🙄 wyd rn?

You: About to get in the shower

---------------------------

You waited for his response, but after a minute you sat the phone back down and walked towards the tub. You heard another buzz and doubled back to check.

--------------------------

Yoongi: Send me a picture

--------------------------

You stared at your screen, rereading the words to make sure you weren’t mistaken.

-----------------------

You: Of…?

Yoongi: You dumbass

             Before your shower

You: so nudes

Yoongi: Yeah

             I wanna see you…

             But you don’t have to 

------------------------

You mulled over an answer. There was something about the idea of teasing him from afar that made your stomach knot with desire. You crossed your legs tighter. He had all day during the movie to “see you”. Why choose when you’re back home and unable to touch you to ask?

You positioned yourself in front of the mirror, trying to find the best angle. Sure you had taken pictures of yourself for yourself, but never with the intention of anyone else ever seeing them.

You twisted your body to see the curves in the reflection, a hand over your head for a better view of your bare chest. Though this was new, you weren’t stupid to the rules- never show your face. With the camera placed to block everything from the chin up, you heard the shutter as you posed.

Click.

You switched angles, leaning forward with your boobs pushed together.

Click.

You sat on the counter, and turned to get a view of your perched ass in the reflection. 

Click. 

You went back to check them, and you couldn’t help the satisfaction. These were hot. So hot you nearly turned yourself on. 

Lucky bastard, you thought

After selecting the images, your finger hovered over the send button. With a deep breath, you bit the bullet and pressed it. Your anxiety wouldn’t allow you to wait for his response, so you put your phone down and hopped into the shower. You would see his reaction when you got out.

_________________

Yoongi hadn’t left his spot on the couch since you left. He spared glimpses at his phone, waiting for you to respond. Every moment that he got nothing, he cursed himself. He was being too thirsty and freaked you out. No way you would agree to this. He didn’t know what made him type out something so blatantly horny, he was embarrassed. Maybe he should apologize. Way to push his luck and make it awkward.

He was just so out of his mind after the assignment, he could barely think straight. He needed a distraction, anything to occupy his mind and not send him down the rabbit hole that was his unchecked fury. It just made no sense. 

There was finally a vibration on his lap, and he carefully looked down to his notifications. 

-------------------------

[3 attachments]

_______: Delete them from our messages after. 

                I expect you to kiss the ground I walk on after these. You’re welcome. 

------------------------

 He opened the message and caught a glimpse of the pictures. He sucked in a quick breath and threw his phone down. 

He looked around the room. The others weren’t paying him any mind. Yoongi slowly picked the phone back up and took in the pictures in all their glory. 

His breathing went shallow as he scrolled and zoomed on the screen. They weren’t just any crude pictures- there was an art to it that made him unable to look away. The curves of your body in the faint glow of the bathroom was delicious. Your body. God, your body. The longer he stared, he found something else to marvel over. He was glad he couldn’t see your face, because the thought of a smirk on your lips was enough to make his imagination run wild. He realized his mouth was hanging open and hurried to fix it. His pants were suddenly tighter, and he shifted to hide the sudden erection that was painfully fighting for his attention. 

-------------------------

Yoongi: goddamn.

-------------------------

It sounded stupid, he knew that. But was there a right way to respond to something like that? No words or emojis would suffice. He was borderline salivating. 

She told him to delete them after. Right. He still had to do that. 

As Yoongi’s finger floated over the button, he found the deed harder to carry out than expected. The thought of sending them to the trash to never be seen again didn’t sit right with him. 

 Instead he found himself saving them to his Cloud app. They would be safe there, hidden amongst his thousands of other photos and documents. You had only said to delete them from your messages to not leave a trace, so this was still technically okay. He couldn’t think about the morality of it for too long or otherwise his conscience might disagree.

He quickly deleted the pictures from your texts and closed his eyes.

“You alright over there?” Seokjin asked, “You’ve been quiet since the mission assignment. But not, like, normal quiet.”

“Yeah, just have a headache,” Yoongi lied, carefully adjusting his throbbing dick in his pants.

“Hey the game’s starting!” Hoseok called, and the boys turned their attention to the TV. 

While the announcer went on the normal spiel, Yoongi’s mind couldn’t escape the photos. For minutes he fought the urge to check his phone, but the growing boner had other plans. One more peek wouldn’t hurt, he argued.

He went to his Cloud, and found the 3 images resting at the top. He clicked them one by one, eyes caressing every pixel. His dick fought even harder against his underwear, begging for his assistance. 

The fever of the game came to a peak when all the boys erupted in cheers. Yoongi jumped in his seat, seeing the others yell as the players ran across the screen. 

It was nearing impossible to think. Yoongi suddenly stood up from the couch. He positioned his phone before the tent in his pants as he walked out of the living room.

“Where you goin? It’s just getting good!” Jimin called.

Yoongi hurried to his bathroom and opened the pictures again. He couldn’t undo his pants fast enough, and when he finally sprang free and wrapped his fingers around his cock he let out a shuttered breath. He stroked himself as he took in the pictures and everything they had to offer. Seeing the space between your thick thighs made precum dribble to his knuckles. He wanted to take you in the shower and feel you for real. He stroked himself faster. 

The way you squeezed one of your breasts in your hands caused him to hold in a moan. The final picture was his favorite. The arch of your back as it led to your ass made his heart beat violently. He envisioned the time he fucked you from the back. The view of it bouncing back on him as you were pressed against the telescope made his eyes flutter close as he felt himself unwinding. He almost missed the toilet paper as he came moments later.

Yoongi took a deep breath and looked at his reflection. He was flushed and drained. It took every ounce of energy and self-respect to fix himself and return to the living room.

“Took you long enough, you missed the best free-throw of the season,” Namjoon said through a mouthful of pizza. 

Yoongi flopped back on the sofa next to Hoseok. He felt dirty, like they could all smell his shame and fresh orgasm.

“Finally a commercial. Their entire defense needs to be benched...dude, are you looking at porn while I’m sitting right here?!” Hoseok screeched.

“What-?” Out of habit, Yoongi had gone to look at his phone again. But upon unlocking it, the image of your ass covered the entire screen. 

Yoongi scrambled to close the app, but his fingers couldn’t work fast enough. In his frenzy he fumbled and dropped the phone onto the cushions.

“Hey, don’t be stingy,” Hoseok said, swooping in and kicking the phone off the sofa before Yoongi could grab it. He leaped away to put distance between them, eyes going wide, “Damn. This isn’t porn. The shitty quality and angle is pointing to personal nudes.”

Yoongi leaped off the sofa and went towards Hoseok.

“Let me be the judge of that,” Jimin said. Hoseok threw the phone across the room, and he plucked it from the air over Yoongi’s head.

Jimin whistled, “Shit...now this is how you take nudes.”

“Jimin. I’m not fucking playing with you give it b-”

“Wait, there’s more!” he cackled, scrolling through the others. He didn’t even look at Yoongi as he evaded him, jumping over the sofa and coffee table. He paused, eyes going wide as he swallowed. “Goddamn. She’s fine. What did you do to deserve nudes like this? Hey, look at this.”

Jimin jumped over to where Seokjin and Namjoon were standing. The oldest shifted to get a better look and Namjoon took his glasses off.

“Sheesh…” Seokjin’s mouth felt suddenly dry, “No wonder why you weren’t watching the game!”

Namjoon licked his lips, “Who’s even sending you these?”

Yoongi stormed over, but the leader took an instinctive step back, “Don’t fucking worry about it. Namjoon, give it back.”

Namjoon looked at the photo and then back at Yoongi, forehead creased with questions. Jimin snatched the phone from his hands.

“Yoongi got a girlfwend?” he asked in a baby voice.

“Give. It. Back.”

He didn’t dare go to Jimin again, he knew he’d only pass it to Hoseok.

“I mean he didn’t say no,” Seokjin added.

“Aww, why so bashful?” Hoseok doubled over in laughter. 

Yoongi stood in the middle of the room, fists clenched by his side. He was nearly shaking with anger, and he met eyes with Namjoon who was the only one not howling like an idiot.

“Jimin, chill out. Hand him the phone back. The game is back on,” Namjoon said.

“Fuck the game, this is the best thing to happen all day!”

“Give it back or I’ll hang your entrails from the ceiling fan. Every single one of you," Yoongi seethed.

“Oh, be realistic. You can’t kill all of us,” he rolled his eyes.

Yoongi reached into the drawer under the coffee table and pulled out a trailing point combat knife.

“I’ll start with you,”

Jimin squinted, “Bullshit.”

 Without hesitation, he threw the blade and made it land squarely in the opposite wall. Jimin touched his ear, and then looked down at his hand to see specks of blood from where Yoongi had clipped him. 

Jimin’s shoulders dropped and after a moment of consideration he tossed the phone over.

“Learn to take a joke, asshole.”

Yoongi’s cheeks burned red, and the others cleared the way as he stomped back to his room and slammed the door.

____________________

You woke up when your head hit the car window.

“Shit,” you breathed, holding the sore spot in your groggy haze.

“Could you hit any more potholes, Jin? Fuck…” Yoongi cursed, sleep coating his voice.

“Wow, finally some company,” Seokjin said, “You’re acting like I made the damn roads, stop complaining.”

The three of you had begun your journey a little over an hour ago. Trees whizzed by your windows, and metropolitan skylines were slowly replaced with endless meadows and forests.  

“Just when I thought we’d seen every inch of this region,” you said, “we end up in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere.”

Seokjin snorted, fiddling with the screen on his dashboard, “Heads up, we should be arriving in 5 minutes.”

You went to your weapons case and strapped a few knives and a glock to your belt. From the passenger seat, you looked in the rearview mirror back at Yoongi. His earlier words had been his only ones all day. Even when you had been picked up for the mission, he barely spared you more than a head nod. He sat in his seat, looking out the window at the passing greenery, unblinking. 

You nudged Seokjin and tilted your head towards the man in the back.

Seokjin shrugged, ‘He’s been like that all day,’ he mouthed.

He didn’t look upset, but more pensive than anything. As if he was trapped in his thoughts without a way to escape.

“Alright we’re here,” Seokjin stopped the car on the side of a desolate road in the middle of the forest. 

“Uh...where’s the cabin?” you asked.

“I forgot no one checks the mission coordinates anymore but me,” he sighed, “Well, this is as far as the road will let me go. My GPS is saying the cabin is about half a mile that way.”

He pointed through the thick trees at nothing,

“So you want us to...walk.”

“I know it’s not ideal, but it's not that far.”

The distance wasn’t your issue. From the look of the sky, the sun would be setting in a few minutes, and you would rather not walk through the woods in pitch blackness.

The three of you stepped out of the van. Seokjin grabbed a few drones from the trunk and after pressing some buttons, released them into the sky toward the cabin. He honestly hated the drones, but because the targets likely didn’t have a security system to be hacked, he had to survey the mission with what devices he had. 

“I’ll be checking in,” he waved as you both began the hike, “You got this, piece of cake like always.”

The leaves crunched under your shoes as you walked in silence for a couple hundred meters. The darkness of night was beginning to catch up to you. You felt the animals scurry past your feet in their haste. 

You turned to Yoongi, face overcasted by shadows.

“You okay?” you asked, “You’ve been quiet.”

He didn’t say anything, and you wondered if he would respond at all until he finally muttered.

“I’m fine. Just have a lot on my mind,” he looked straight ahead.

“Is it classes? The mission? It should be an easy one like Seokjin and Mr. Kim said,” you pried.

“I just can’t wait for the day to be over.”

You nodded, “I understand. I was wondering why they dispatched us for this mission, you know? I know that they sometimes like to test different combinations, but having two specialized combat positions for such a small call doesn’t make much sense to me.” 

“I was wondering the same thing.”

“You know The Academy though, it’s probably just some sort of test.”

“Well then that’s pretty fucked up.”

You waited on him to elaborate, but the conversation drifted to another hush. 

 “Well...if you ever want to talk about it, just know I’m here if you feel like sharing.”

“‘kay.”

After a few minutes of painful silence, you both saw a light in the distance. You slowed down, taking in the neglected cabin. The wood was covered in moss, hanging together by a few bolts. It appeared to have been forgotten amongst the woods. You couldn’t imagine life inside.

“She’s a beauty, right?” you said, hidden in the shadows behind the trees, “Jin, we made it.”

“Great. I can see you both. Look up,” you glanced up at the night sky, and a drone came to hover over your heads.

Yoongi ran a hand through his hair, “So there’s three we need to take out. You sure they’re in there?”

“I don’t see anyone, but the lights are on. In the call, Mr. Kim said that they hadn’t left in a few days. From the notes, they just went in with a big crate and haven’t even gone outside since.”

A shadow suddenly went past the window, so quick it was almost unnoticeable.

“I saw someone,” he said.

You checked the weapons on your belt, “You ready?”

He nodded, “Make it clean, make it quick. Let’s go.”

You stalked towards the cabin, mere silhouettes in the dark. 

“That window looks easy to open-” you whispered, but Yoongi was already making his way to the back door. You stopped, confused by his overly eager choice, but rushed to catch up. When you approached the door, Yoongi reared back and kicked the flimsy wood in. It burst open loudly, and you both charged into what appeared to be the kitchen. One of the drones flew inside. A man stood at the stove, bread in his hand as he turned to you both. 

“Now, wait what the f-” 

You recognized his face from the photos. Yoongi began to move towards him, but you were already in motion. With a few quick strides you closed the distance. You took the blade from your belt and made a fluid slash across the throat. It was seamless with no splatters- an angle you had worked to master for some time now. His body slumped down, joining the shadows casted on the wooden floor.

Yoongi looked down at the body, “I had it, you know.”

“Didn’t know you had claimed him, I was just trying to get it done. I’ll let you take the next one,” you said carefully.  

He took in the nearly empty interior. No one else was in sight, and it was quieter than expected. You heard some faint motion close by, though it was hard to pinpoint.

You both slowly rounded the corner to see a door with steps leading downwards.

“Pat, hurry the hell up! We’re gonna start without you!” a voice called from the basement. Soon after came the sound of whimpers and muffled screams. 

Footsteps led up towards you as someone climbed the stairs.

“God dammit, every time. Get down here!” said a man with a buzz cut. He froze when he saw you at the top of the stairs. Before he could react, Yoongi planted a foot in his chest, making the man fall and tumble down the stairs.

You rushed down, stepping over his groaning body at the base of the steps.

“Why wouldn’t you just take him out…then?” you began to ask your squad mate. Your hand was on your belt, ready to take out the man at the bottom of the stairs when you turned to see the rest of the basement instead. You felt your blood run cold at the sight before you. 

In the basement was the 3rd target, a ceremonial mask covering his eyes. He was fiddling with the restraints of a woman sitting naked on the floor. They sat in the middle of a circle painted by what you had assumed to be blood. 

“What the fuck?!” the masked man blurted. He jumped up, running towards a shotgun in the corner of the room. Before he could reach it you threw one of your knives. It landed in his hand, pinning him to the wall.

Yoongi stood by the steps, immobile with wide eyes. You followed his gaze to the woman. Her eyes had been covered with a scarf and mouth gagged with a rag. She cried, balling up on the floor to hide from the new unseen horrors she heard. On her wrist, a red circle glistened under the lights.

“Seokjin...the targets have a victim here,” you said tightly.

“What?!” the drone came down the stairs and paused next to you, “Oh god. The crate. She was here this whole time.”

“What the fuck do we do?!”

“I’ll call the police.”

“Police?! This can’t be a job for the Cleanup Crew?!”

“I’m already dispatching the cops. This wasn’t a part of the plan but they’ll take care of her. Just finish the job and get the hell out of there!”

Yoongi’s breathing was shallow. His legs shook under him as if they would give out at any minute. His vision never broke from the woman, eyes zeroed in with a laser focus. 

Behind him there was a quick motion. The man at the stairs had picked up an axe, ready to swing at your squad mate. Yoongi didn’t move, unaware of his surroundings.

“Yoongi, watch out!” Seokjin warned.

 You reached for the gun in your belt and fired two shots to the man’s forehead. 

The shots snapped Yoongi out of his haze. He jumped, and turned to see the body tumble behind him. He looked at you in awe. 

“I…” he tried, lost for words.

The final man had pulled the knife from his hand and slumped against the wall.

“Who are you?! W-who sent you?!” his voice shook. 

Yoongi faced him slowly, jaw taut and far away. He advanced across the floor, closing the distance between them as the masked man screamed to spare his life.

Yoongi crouched down, eye level with him. He pulled the mask away, exposing a thin face and pleading eyes. Yoongi went for the long knife at his side. 

“Please. Please, I’m begging you…”

Yoongi plunged the knife into the target’s chest. It went deep, piercing his heart. The man’s eyes went out of focus as life left him. Yoongi pulled the stained knife out, but didn’t place it back in his belt. He lurched the weapon forward again and again, stabbing so many times you lost count. He grunted with every dig long after the man had stilled. Crimson slowly spread across the man’s white shirt. 

“Woah, stop!” you screamed. You grabbed his arm and pushed him back, “What the hell are you doing? It’s over!”

Yoongi’s face twisted in pain. He was shaking, looking at the body infront of him with a sense of stunning realization. Time caught up to him and the room realigned in his vision. He closed his eyes to collect himself.

He dropped the knife to grab his head.

The woman on the floor continued to cry, hyperventilating as she tried to force words through the gag. You moved over to her and she flinched. She looked to be in her late 20s- not much older than you if you had to guess. You racked your brain for a solution- you couldn’t take off her blindfold because then she would see your faces. If the cops were coming, you didn’t want to involve her with the repercussions of that, especially when The Academy would be involved. Though at the same time, you didn’t want to leave her stranded and tied up in the house with three dead bodies. 

“Um, you guys, the police are here. They just pulled up about 100 meters behind me and are walking to the cabin now,” Seokjin said, “Get out while you can.”

“Shit,” you breathed. You slowly went to grab the rag from the woman’s mouth, and she craned away, “It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re safe. We’re not going to hurt you.”

“Please get me out of here. Please...” she cried.

“Okay, we will! They can’t hurt you anymore. The police are coming. Just let me untie you first,” you went to undo the rope, but paused, “But when I do I need you to stay calm and leave your blindfold on.”

“L-leave it on?” she asked, head whipping from side to side in her confusion.

“Trust me. If you can’t do that, I can’t untie you.”

“Okay,” she said, weakly.

With one glide of your knife she was free. She touched at the mark at her arm and her face contorted in agony at the burn. You could only imagine her suffering those few days.

“We gotta go!” you called to Yoongi, helping the young woman to her feet, “Now!” 

Yoongi eventually pushed himself off the floor with unstable legs. He reached for a blanket hanging from the back of a chair, and handed it to you. You wrapped it around her as you guided her quickly up the stairs and past the men on the floor.

“Wh-who are you? Oh, god. Where are we going?” she struggled to hold herself up, and you and Yoongi supported most of her weight as you walked through the cabin.

“We’re just going outside,” you finally made it to the front porch, and she flinched when she was met with the night chill. You sat her down. Two drones glided outside and into the trees.

“So what now?” Yoongi whispered uneasily, “Do we just leave her here?”

“He said they’re on their way. She-” in the dark you heard rustling and voices. They weren’t too close, but earshot for you was close enough. You bent to her level, “Hey, the police are almost here. We’re gonna leave. Just...don’t uncover your eyes until we do.”

“Wait, no where am I? Don’t leave,” she pleaded.

“We’re just on the porch. We have to. I’m sorry.”

She moved her head to follow your voices, “Thank you. Thank you so much-”

“I see it!” called an officer in the distance.

With a final rub to her shoulder, you and Yoongi jumped off the porch and bolted into the dark forest. Looking back, you saw a group of officers run to the porch to assess her. She had taken off her blindfold and was looking around in a daze.

More officers were coming, and you both tried to run in silence while not being seen by their flashlights. You could barely see your hand in front of your face, the moon above your only guide. You ran hard, trying to not bump into trees while also checking the constellations above for the right directions.

Suddenly a flashlight crossed your vision, and Yoongi yanked you behind a tree. 

You worked to catch your breath and listened for the officers to pass.

“Are we going the right way?” you whispered to him. He didn’t answer, instead looking at you with the same spacey, glazed stare from earlier, “What? And what the hell was that about back there anyway?”  

“You saved my life…” he responded, his voice dreamy. His eyebrows joined together, relaying a focus that he didn’t seem to have. He seemed far away, but appeared to truly see you for the first time all night. 

“Yeah, but Yoongi that wasn’t the question.” 

Using his grip on your arm, he pulled you into him. His lips crashed onto yours in a messy, hard kiss. His hand went to tangle in your hair, knuckles meeting the root. You fought to understand in your haze. He grabbed your waist and tugged your body closer. You could feel the metal of the knives on his belt at your stomach, and it snapped you back.

You pushed his hand down and moved your face away.

“Yoongi, wh-”

 Just then, there was a whiz above your heads as a drone flew above and past you. Both of you watched as it disappeared in the direction of Seokjin’s car. You met eyes again, but this time his expression mirrored the panic you felt. 

“Oh no...” he muttered.

You didn’t want to think too much, only make it back to the car. If you really assessed the situation in your head, you knew you’d crumble. 

You burst out running again, following the drone all the way until you saw the road. It was lit with shining police lights, and you finally saw the van hidden in the line of trees far ahead. When you reached it, you yanked open the door and threw yourselves inside.

“Finally!” Seokjin put the car in drive and whipped the wheel back out onto the road. As he fiddled with the navigation, you watched for any differences in his behavior. He sighed, “That was not supposed to happen.”

“What?” you blurted.

“What? The girl! Was she okay?”

“Okay? No. But the police got her,” you groaned, remembering, “The police. We called the fucking police to the sight of our mission.”

The Academy's Cleanup Crew always came after your missions to get rid of the mess and any evidence the squad may have left behind. The targets always simply “disappeared”. So calling the police to the scene before Cleanup could handle it was a nightmare in it’s own.

“I know, I know. It seems bad and it’s going to be a headache for me later but we had to do it for her. The Academy will probably have to make contact with local law enforcement again to cover our tracks, but they shouldn’t get her involved too much.”

“I really hope so,” you said.

“She...didn’t see you right?” he asked. You shook your head, “Good. That would have been a whole other problem.”

You used the rearview mirror to look at Yoongi. He was expressionless, and Seokjin followed your gaze, “Yoongi, you okay back there? Back at the mission…” you held your breath, “...it seemed like you lost focus. It was a bit of an...overkill, you think?”

You could tell Seokjin was trying to tread lightly. Though you wondered the same, as neither had seen such pointed aggression and bloodlust on a mission. Killing was always matter of fact- one and done. Never something to revel and bask in for too long.

“I just forgot where I was. That’s all,” was his reply.

The landscape turned into city, and Seokjin cursed when he saw his gas was low. He pulled into a dim gas station, and fiddled with a screen on a computer. It showed the woods and the cabin, and you watched as you stormed in after Yoongi kicked open the door.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“Just making sure the drones picked up and recorded the feed from the mission,” Seokjin responded, absentminded as he clicked around.

“You recorded it?” you tried to remain calm, but you heard your voice climb an octave, “I thought you just watched in the moment.”

“Yeah I do but I can’t catch everything.”

“So...do you record with all of the drones?”

He snorted, “Duh, I use them to track patterns for my logs, you know that. And with the police involved this time, this footage will be really useful to me and The Academy later.” 

“Of course,” you said, “Jin, I really need to be back home soon, could we hurry.”

He gave you a look, “Uh, sure.”

Seokjin got out to pump the gas and you looked between him and the monitor. 

“Hey! While you’re out, could you go inside the convenience store and get me some chips or something. I’m really hungry.”

He scoffed “Who do you think I am? No. Get it yourself.”

“Please! You’re already outside. The mission took a lot out of me. I didn’t eat all day,” you begged, “Please, I’ll love you forever.”

He took a deep breath, “What flavor?”

“Surprise me.”

He muttered to himself as he walked toward the store. You shot to action, pulling down any tabs to find the right button. 

“Fuck, do you think he saw us?” Yoongi leaned on your seat to get a view of the screen.

“I doubt it. He’s acting too normal.”

“Try that tab!” he reached over you, pointing. Your unease mounted with every word and direction he gave you, “No, not that one! Okay, try that one. Shit, he’s paying at the counter, hurry-”

“Yoongi!” you exploded, “Shut the fuck up!”

“I’m trying to help-”

“You did enough, don’t you think?! Jesus, just...I’ve got it! Give me a break. For fuck’s sake!” 

He sat back down. After exhausting your options, you found a video file with the day’s date on it. You hit ‘Delete all’ and suddenly the video on the screen disappeared. You checked the trash and found nothing. You went to any other obvious folders in the confusing layout of his computer and came up empty.

You looked up to see Seokjin walking towards the car and you quickly restarted the laptop. 

He opened the door and dropped two bags into your lap, “I didn’t know if you liked sour cream and onion or honey butter so I got both. Hey, what happened to my computer?”

“Thanks! Oh, it just restarted out of nowhere. It said something about needing an update and then just turned off.”

“What? No…” when it rebooted he went to his files. He searched in silence for a bit, face etched in confusion, “No, no, no. The footage from today’s mission is gone!”

“Huh? How?” you feigned, going to check for yourself.

“How does that even happen? I was sure I had it saved.”

“Damn, I’m sorry,” you said, “Is that the only copy you have?”

“Unfortunately. This day couldn’t get any worse.” 

He pulled off from the gas station and continued back to the city. The whole time, ranting about his shitty computer and The Academy needing to give him another version. You grunted in agreement, and Yoongi remained silent the rest of the ride home. 

___________________

After dodging her for months, it finally happened.

She couldn’t be more ecstatic when you said you were free for the night, jumping into action immediately with ideas of how to spend your time. It wasn’t like you had much else to do. 

A few days had passed since the last mission in the woods, and you’d like to think you were doing a good job avoiding your squad members. You didn’t have anything against all of them, but being in their presence after the night you had was the last thing you wanted. It was rare to not hang out at least every other day, but the time alone was needed. You saw them in class and went straight home after despite their questions and protests. More and more unread and unanswered texts were piling up in your phone. You knew everything was alright- if they really needed you, you would know. You knew them too well.  According to the text previews, you picked up that they went to grab drinks at the bar about an hour ago. A part of you wished you had gone, but the other knew the break was needed. So on this break, you finally gave Luna a shot. Spending the entire evening with the girl you hadn’t had a conversation longer than 5 minutes with was beyond your comfort zone. 

Luna’s idea was to bake dessert. Consequently, you spent the time shuffling around each other in the small kitchen as she led the whole operation. She did most of the work, and you handed her ingredients as she rattled off. You learned that she was an Environmental Sustainability major. You honestly felt bad. You had been living with the girl for months and didn’t even know what she was going to school for. 

You also learned that she really wasn’t that bad. She talked a lot, but she seemed to mean well. She was an only child like you, was allergic to cats, and hated the head cell biology professor with a passion. When you were both sitting on the living room floor borderline wine drunk and stuffed on cake, she only got more animated.

“He’s the worst! I kid you not, he almost made me drop out!” she cried. Her face was getting redder with every sip.

“Was he just a hard grader?” you laughed.

“Yeah but he also had the nerve to lecture and not share the slides online! If you missed 3 classes you just failed. He would embarrass you if you missed an answer,“ she counted off with her fingers. “Just trash!”

“He had the coffee breath too, right?”

She pointed at you, “Yes! The coffee breath! How could I forget that?! He made me want to break his nose then my own. Wait, did you have him too? What class?”

You shook your head. It felt a bit heavier than usual in your tipsiness, “I didn’t, but my friend Jin did and he said the same thing.”

“Ah, he’s in that group of guys you always hang out with, right?” you nodded, “How did you guys become friends? I’ve always wondered that.”

You shifted“I don’t know, we’ve just known each other for a really long time. We went through our more formative years together and just never let the other go.” 

It may have been the wine, but you felt a pang of regret for ignoring them. Maybe you were doing too much. 

“How can you stand being around them all day? They’re all so...hot,” she said, “You’ve never dated any of them before? Hooked up with them? None of them?”

“N-no, nothing like that. I can’t.”

“You can't?” She raised her brow, smirking, “Ah, so you would if you could?”

“No! They’re like my best friends, I couldn’t do it.”

“Not even the angry looking one that slept over that time?”

You stiffened, “You know about that?”

“Yeah, sorry I didn’t know it was a secret. I just saw him leaving one morning and assumed you were dating or something.”

“No, no, it’s not a secret or anything like that,” you rushed, “He had to sleep over because of the bad rain the night before. We’re just friends but its…”

“Complicated?” she asked.

“I mean...,” you laughed, “we’re just not really talking right now. But we’re still just friends.”

She tilted her head, looking at you with a wistful smile, “It's obvious they mean a lot to you.”

“They do. I couldn’t make it without them.”

Luna reached out to twirl a strand of hair between her fingers. Her gaze was suddenly intense as she held your eyes, “________, you’re a beautiful independent woman. You can make it without a man.” 

Her stare was unnerving. The stoniness in her voice made a chill run up your back.

“I know, I’m just saying,” you turned your face away, laughing to hide your discomfort.

Your phone buzzed against your lap and you gave in to check. You wish you hadn’t.

------------------------

Yoongi: you home?

              I know you see my messages

              don’t ignore me

You: why what do you want?

Yoongi: I’m coming by

You: again, why?

Yoongi: I just want to talk

              Pls

------------------------

You put your phone back down and sighed. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Speak of the devil and he shall appear, right? The friend I’ve been avoiding is coming over and it looks like I can’t put it off anymore. I’m sorry...”

Luna pouted, “Ah, I see. Well it’s okay. It was fun to hang out while we could.”

You nodded, “Yeah, this was pretty great.”

There was a knock on the door. It was sooner than you expected. You pushed yourself off from the floor and went to the door. Yoongi stood on the other side, hands in his pockets and looking unusually hesitant.

You didn’t spare eye contact or words as you waved him in.

“Hey!” Luna waved from her spot on the floor. She gave you a knowing look.

You cleared your throat, “Luna, this is Yoongi. You met him before.”

Yoongi gave a tight smile, “Hi.”

“Ah, right! I’ve seen you around before. I went to your apartment that one time, right?”

His eyebrows furrowed, “Um, yeah, that was my place.”

You led Yoongi back to your room and Luna called after him, “Nice to see you again!”

When you closed the door there was an expected silence. You turned to really look at him for the first time. His eyes were glassy and his entire face was tinted-red. You realized he reeked of alcohol. 

You looked him up and down, “Jesus, are you drunk? Do the boys know you’re over here?”

He just shook his head as he walked to your bed. He didn’t usually drink much, and when he did he was always one to at least act the most sober. 

He tossed himself across the mattress, putting an arm over his eyes. He tapped the space next to him, an invitation. You placed your phone on your desk and sat on the edge of the bed. You contemplated calling one of the boys to come get him, but you knew all the questions would be redirected to you. 

“What did you want to talk about, Yoongi?”

“Not yet,” he said. “I just want to stay like this for a while.”

You stared at him, but he stayed still. You went to stand up, and his free hand went to wrap around your waist, pulling you to lay beside him. 

You were pressed against his body and began to push away despite how good him and his sweater felt against you, “We shouldn’t do this. You said you wanted to talk, so what?”

“Please,” he breathed, “Just stay.”

You relaxed, giving in only for a bit. He held on tight, arm still firm around you. You suddenly became aware of the state the wine had left you in. You were doing a better job of holding yourself together than him, but having his arms around you mixed with your own looseness was a combo your subconscious was too eager to accept. His breathing was steady as your ear rested on his chest, and after a while you thought he had fallen asleep. The ceiling fan whooshed above you, and as you waited the hypnotic spin made you lose track of time.

  His voice broke the hush of the room.

“I’m so sorry, ______.”

“You gotta be more specific.”

“I meant what I said. I forgot where I was.”

“Yoongi, I can’t say he didn’t deserve it, but that’s never been us. You know that,” you gulped, “What happened?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know,” you repeated.

 “I don’t. I went too far. I feel like...like I left myself,” he said in a low voice. Though you were unbearably close, he sounded so far away, “I swear I had no control for the first time ever. It was wrong. I know that. I couldn’t stop.”

“But...why?”

 “I just lost sight of the mission. I put you in a bad place and you had to pick up the slack for my psychotic break, or whatever the hell that was, and I feel like shit for it. Hell, you had to save my life because I couldn’t fucking handle myself,” his voice broke as he desperately pushed the words out. “And the kiss,” he groaned. “I fucked up so bad. And you handled that too. It was a close call and it was all my fault. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. But I want to thank you for stopping me.”

It wasn’t lost on you that he didn’t really answer your question. In all of your years of knowing each other, you never knew him to be someone to lay his heart and regrets plain out on display for just anyone. Whether it was the alcohol or sheer pain that drove him to it, you didn’t know, but it was unsettling. You just wanted to know why. “I’m sorry for snapping at you like that.”

“I deserved every bit of that and more. I didn’t hold up my end at all, I just made problems.”

“I meant what I said earlier too, you know.”

“What?”

Your arms went to wrap around his waist before you could stop yourself. He relaxed in your arms and you couldn’t let go. 

“Back in the forest. I’m still here if you need to talk, you know. We’re friends after all, Yoongi. I just don’t want you to hold that shit in if you don’t have to,” you moved your head to look up at him.

A painful smile made its way to him.

Yoongi went to nuzzle his nose in your neck. Your eyes fluttered closed until he whined.

“I wanna stay like this forever.”

You went stiff, “Forever? You know we...can’t.”

“I can dream can’t I?” 

He didn’t seem to get it. If in his dreams he saw you being this way forever, he was more far gone than you believed.

He looked you over again, “You don’t want this forever?”

There was such sadness in his glazed eyes, it would hurt you too to say what you should have said. Instead you stayed quiet.

“I know it's wrong, I know there are rules, but I like us this way.”

“Don’t…”

“Why?” it was his turn to ask, lips grazing your warm neck.

“You know why...we just can’t.”

“But you like to be with me like this too, right?”

You didn’t even have to ask what “like this” meant.

“I don’t think either of us are in the right head space to make that call.”

“Beyond the fucking. This is something we can do more. Hell, is it so wrong to want to hold you?”

“It-it just blurs the lines even more,” you stammered when his nose traced your collarbone.

“Screw the blurred lines. Screw The Academy. I like us like this, _____. And secretly, I think you do too.”

You felt yourself short-circuiting, “I think the lines are important because without them I can’t understand what this is.”

He stopped to search your face again, “Well what do you understand?”

His eyes were so deep. When you answered you were trapped in them, “That I like this more than I should.”

When the answer left you, there was a curse in your sober subconscious. Though seeing his face soften from the wounded mask he wore earlier almost made you forgive yourself. Almost.  

It happened slowly, unlike the others. You watched each other, letting your words hang in the air before the other moved. You were the first to close the distance, Yoongi soon followed. When your lips met in the middle there was no rushed crash, no hurry driven by lust. He held your cheek in the most gentle way. Your lips pressed against his, and for the first time there was no fight for dominance. Your hand went to the nape of his neck, pulling him closer in your already tight position. He rolled himself over you, holding himself up with both hands on either side of your head. Yoongi looked you over for a second before dipping his lips back to yours. 

You rolled over again, your knees on either side of his torso as you straddled him. You grabbed his face in both hands and kissed him again. His hands went to your back, skin burning under his fingertips. You went to grab at the bottom of your shirt, and he stopped you.

“You don’t have to, you know?” he said, eyes searching yours.

“But I want to.”

He moved his hand and you raised your huge t-shirt above your head and discarded it onto the floor.

The look he gave you was one of such unfiltered admiration it scared you. His gaze raked across your naked upper body. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he proclaimed in such a way your face became hot. 

He pulled you down to him again. His large hands traced up your thigh slowly, making you remember your revealing shorts. His touch lit a flame under your skin wherever he touched. Though it wasn’t entirely desire that you felt. This was different. Something that made your chest feel warm and butterflies dance in the pit of your stomach. 

“Was that the front door?” he suddenly asked.

“No,” you quickly dismissed him, groaning when his lips went back to your neck. The growing wetness in your panties was a distraction, but you tried your best to listen through your labored breaths.

He sighed, the puff tickling the sensitive skin. He whispered, nearly soundless “Shit...I just like you so much.”

You froze. 

You slowly pushed yourself up. Looking down at him, even through the alcohol he seemed to know he had crossed a line.

“You what?”

_________________

When Jungkook left the bar with the others, he was surprisingly sober. He had downed 3 beers and a tequila shot without an issue and was actually disappointed. Getting wasted would have been nice considering the trash week of classes he was having and not remembering the grade he just got on his last quiz would have been the cherry on top. 

“What’s been going on with him anyways? You all noticed, right?” Hoseok asked, arm around Namjoon’s shoulder.

“How could we not? He barely said shit the whole night,” Jimin said, “How do you get shitfaced and then get up and leave? That’s just sad.”

“Did he even say where he was going?” Taehyung asked.

“No, but it's not like we have to worry about him handling himself.”

“I should check on him,” Namjoon said, “He’s been acting off for almost a week.”

“Check on _____ while you’re at it. She’s been off too.”

“You sure she’s not just finally tired of us? I wouldn’t blame her,” Seokjin said.

The others were making their way back home and Jungkook stopped to linger on the sidewalk. If he continued down this street and made a right, he’d be at your place, he noted. He suddenly remembered what you owed him.

“What?” Taehyung burped.

“You can go back, I’ll catch up later. ________’s still got my baby.”

“Whatever,” he gave a peace sign and ran to catch up to the rest.

 As Jungkook walked under the dim street lights, he couldn’t help but wonder about you. After Yoongi left the bar, Seokjin had told them that the last mission was a rough one, partially because of Yoongi. This wasn’t new though, you had all seen your fair share of fucked up shit over the years. So it didn’t make sense for you to ignore everyone for days on end over it.

He looked at the texts he had sent you. None of them were opened.

-----------------------------

Jungkook: Stop ignoring me I’m coming over rn

                  U better be home

                   If not im breaking in 😜

-----------------------------

When he finally made it to your place, he pounded on the door. When it opened he readied to walk in, but he stopped when he saw the person on the other side.

“Hi?” Luna asked.

Jungkook forgot she lived there too, “‘Sup?”

“Oh, you’re _________’s friend, right?”

“Yeah, is she here?”

“Yeah, come in,” Luna stepped aside as Jungkook took his shoes off, leaving them beside a pair that was too big for either of the girls that lived there. He didn’t notice, “She might be a little busy though.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows joined in confusion. Like that actually mattered to him, “Uh, okay? Where is she?”

Luna pointed down the hall, “Back in her room.”

“Cool, thanks.”

Luna went back to her own room and Jungkook followed her directions down the dark hallway. He had to stop himself from salivating as he pictured what was soon to be his. He seized the handle of your door and thrust it forward.

“Ha! Can’t ignore me now, can you?”

He blinked a few times thinking something would change. In the time void the bedroom had become, everything stayed the same. 

You were still mounting Yoongi. 

Yoongi still held a handful of your ass. 

Your bodies were still entangled in the sheets. 

You were still topless. 

The scene never changed. 

But Jungkook wished it had. 

Previous     Next

_________________________________________________________

Thanks for reading like always! Feel free to lmk your thoughts 👀

[mistabullets]

can i please request a scenario? 🥺 i was thinking of something like 18-21 y/o kakyoin who gets a new, attractive older neighbor and he just keeps looking for excuses to be around her? (and then m a y b e she repays him for all his help?)

ok guess i’ll heard y’all loud and clear! have your milf hunter kakyoin :3

NOTE: all characters are aged up! cw includes age gap (think 5+ years tho), fem pronouns, afab reader, alcohol mention, drinking, eating out, fingering, vaginal sex, drunk sex, praising

Not SFW under cut ;

“Good grief, why are you always trying to get with old hags?” Jotaro questioned.

When Kakyoin first laid eyes on you, his new neighbor, discussing with the landlord about the terms and agreement, he was instantly captivated by your beauty. The redhead boy was eyeing you from outside his balcony, enjoying the pleasant spring afternoon and the view you had to offer. He noticed the way you batted your lashes and how well the red lipstick suited your plump lips. The dress you had been wearing that particular day showed off the swell of your ass along with a slight cleavage, a promising view of your bigger breasts. You had certainly made his day and you didn’t even know it.

**

Two weeks later, Kakyoin notices you were finally moving into the empty apartment right next to his. With no lewd intentions behind his generous offer, he introduces himself as your next-door neighbor and offers to carry some of the heavier boxes, up and down the stairs. You are truly relieved since had some slight aches and pains already from preparing and packing up for your new home all by yourself. The two of you begin unloading the rental truck, which took about a good hour or two. Not that the younger man minds, since each time he trailed behind you, ascending the stairs, he has a great view of your butt. The sway of your hips is almost similar to the swing of a pendulum, spellbinding, to the point he has to control his gaze and not be caught in hypnosis.

Finally, the work is all done and boxes are settled in corners, furniture in their designated spots. You decide to order some pizza and share with Kakyoin, as thanks for all his hard work, despite just having met today. You get to know your new neighbor and friend during dinner; he’s a college student who had explored a lot as a teenager, having seen most of the world. Now, he and his best friend of four years, Jotaro, are studying at the local university; he’s currently in his junior year and halfway through in receiving a bachelor’s in Game Design. You’re impressed by his passion, saying he must be smart to be able to learn the complicated knowledge of technology and the dedicated art skill needed for video games. And Kakyoin learns a bit about you as well. Apparently, you moved because of a recent job offer, already had a degree under your belt, and you were seven years his senior. You had even been married at one point but divorced the scum over half a year ago! The younger man is surprised when he realizes you are close to hitting your thirties, believing you were at least in your early to mid-twenties. You take it as a compliment though, lucky that you have no grey hair yet to appear, despite the stress that had accumulated.

Over the next few weeks, Kakyoin helps you settle into your home. He gives you directions to wherever you need to go, helps you unpack a variety of clothes, cooking utensils, shower curtains, the bed frame, and even more furniture. The man is even kind enough to help with laundry and help set up the new computer that you had purchased recently. In return, you begin cooking meals for your young neighbor and his roommate. You have tried to offer him some money before but he always declines it, saying it was just him lending a helping hand to someone who needs it. What a sweet boy, I wish my ex would have been so kind like him, you would think to yourself.

**

Eventually, the two of you became close friends. You would invite him over for drinks and dinner after work. Sometimes, Jotaro would be there too, but he had no interest in hanging out with older women, always muttering “good grief” when you would burst into a fit of laughter after the redhead would tell a cheesy joke.

Tonight is a repeat of that.

You let out a snort, doubling over, “O-Oh geez, that’s a good one, Kak-kun!”

It is you, Kakyoin, and Jotaro playing a new game on the Nintendo 64. However, alcohol is in the mix, and both you and the redhead man are a bit too tipsy. Jotaro, annoyed by his friends’ antics, leaves the party of three, saying he has to get up early in the morning. Jotaro wonders if it is a good idea to depart, knowing his friend has a huge crush on you and it could lead to something messy. But he concludes, after interacting with you for the past month, there’s always a glint in your eyes when Kakyoin is around. Jotaro’s curious to see where it would eventually lead to. He utters a simple bye before telling his roommate he will leave the door unlocked if anyone needs him.

The soft click of the door closing indicates the party of three just turned into a party of two. Now, it is just you and Kakyoin now, still giggling over whatever nonsense had you howling. Once you manage to gain a semblance of composure, you tell the redhead that you want to watch a new movie you had bought recently. You toss the box at him, to see the cover. The man is intrigued after reading the back of the VHS box. After stating his interest, he slips the cassette into the player. After making some adjustments to the TV settings and pressing the button to play the movie, Kakyoin curls up right beside you on the couch. For right now, his attention is on the television screen, anticipating the horror sequences for Silence of the Lambs. But after about halfway into the movie, he notices how with each jump scare or the buildup of a scene, you would scoot yourself, as if seeking some sort of protection. Eventually, the boy, with warm drunken courage, lazily wraps one of his arms around your frame, holding you tight when the suspension broke within each scene.

**

As the credits rolls, you look up at your fellow movie-goer, slightly less intoxicated and realize his hand had slipped down to your waist during the course of the movie. An idea comes forth from the remainder of your inebriated and primitive mind, eyeing the young man beside you. You register, that you like Kakyoin a lot more than you originally thought. He’s mature for his age, super smart, and you bet he had some youthful vigor to him, right? With a stupid yet dazzlingly grin spreading across your delicious lips, you reach out to touch one of Kakyoin’s cheeks, rubbing it tenderly, a heated blush already radiating.

“Y-Y/N? What is it?” he asks, slight confusion in his voice. He always assumed you were into older men, or at least someone your age.

With drunken stupor, you giggle, “Oh nothing Kak, just realized how cute you are… like, really cute.”

You could feel the blush burn the palm of your hand even more, “Oh, really now?” the boy prods, his lush thoughts spiking a nerve in him, finding a renowned boldness.

“Yeah, I… I don’t know, just kind of wanna kiss you. Would that be okay?” now you are flushing as you took note of how Kakyoin’s lavender orbs scan your body and the position you are currently in. The faint scent of beer from your breath tickles his nostrils and he finally sees just how inviting your pretty lips are, even without the lipstick applied on. Your eyes long from him, even in the darkness with the faint glow of the menu screen. Without any more hesitation, he seals you in an experimental kiss. You gasp into his mouth but soon welcome the taste of fermented booze and cherry-flavored chap-stick. Soon, his tongue slips into your mouth and he tastes even more of you; it is more intoxicating than the beer the both of you shared earlier. After a minute or two of this developing make-out session, his soft lips peels away from yours; both of you need to catch your breath, to process what was going on. But you could sense both of you wanted more, by how flushed your cheeks are and the lust dancing in his pupils. You decide to make the next move, being the more experienced one, by straddling his lap. You lock lips again.

One thing leads to another. Eventually, the redhead underneath you unbuttons your blouse, throwing it into some forgotten corner of your living room. Kisses and loves bites are littered on the side of your neck, down to your left breast. Wanting more of his touch, you reach from behind and unhook the bra hook, revealing your ample tits. Kakyoin allows himself a moment to admire the softness, how bouncy they look, and how delicious your nipples look. Experimentally, he reaches for one breast while he leans in and gives the unattended nipple a lick. You grab a hold of both shoulders as Kakyoin stops being experimental and more precise with technique. What was the last time you felt this good? And god, you feel your panties are already soaked as the young man pinches your hardening buds. “O-Oh god, Kak-kun, y-yes, good boy, you’re doing such a good job~”

Encouraged, the boy slides one of his hand from your chest, slithering his warm digits against your belly until he reaches your groin and the hem of your pants. He reaches further down, slipping his hand into your jeans and feeling to lacy undergarments you are wearing. You edge him to go further, wanting to feel his thick fingers inside of you already. “Right there, Kak~” you plead, as the boy peppers kisses into your neck and shoulder. He happily fulfills your request, exploring southward, passing your trimmed bush before being invited by the welcoming slit of your wet pussy. However, Kakyoin has an even better idea. Without warning, he grabs you by the waist and gently throws you onto the couch. Now he’s on top of you, gaining control.

You elicit a gasp, slightly taken aback by his boldness, “Oh my, Kakyoin…”He pulls down your jeans along with your panties, and now you’re fully naked before the younger man as he drinks in the sight of your sexy figure. He reaches for the hem of his shirt and throws it off. You can’t help but also admire the defined muscles of his abdomen, the heave of his chest from all the excitement, and the bulge growing more prominent with each passing moment. Your focus is turned back to Kakyoin, as he opens up your legs and nestles into the apex of your thighs. “Please, Y/N, call me Noriaki,” he says before dipping his face to your sex, spreading apart your pussy to reveal your glistening pussy and your needy clit. He admires it for a moment, before his tongue curiously laps over your exposed entrance, the tip of it probing at your sensitive nub. Instinctively, you reach to grab a hand fist full of crimson locks, particularly his side bang. “Noriaki, r-right there… lick my clit again, please…!”

And after a few more licks, he finally gets the hang of it all, your voice guidance to how to properly eat out a woman. Your ex would rarely go down on you despite how often he would demand blowjobs… and when he did go down, he would complain about how you needed to look good and clean yourself up. However, Kakyoin is obsessed with the musky, feminine scent of you and drinks your juices like a man who hasn’t had water in days. While he’s not exactly experienced compared to Jotaro, his eagerness to please makes up for it. He rests one hand on your inner thigh while he decides to further tease your entrance. He index and middle finger presses up against your core and sinks in. You let out a moan, not prepared for the intrusion but once they are adjusted, buried to the hilt, you begin to welcome the sturdy digits inside of you. And Kakyoin enjoys the wet warmth swallowing up his fingers, the velvety walls of your cunt hugging him tightly. Gently, he begins to scissor and curls the two fingers inside you, until he finds that one sweet spot that makes your back arch and you release a needy cry. Making a mental note to himself, he pumps his finger in and out of you while his lips suck at your clit. You scream his name, “N-Noriaki! O-Oh fuck, if you, nngh! K-Keep that up– I-I’ll cum!”

He gasps for air, but still relentlessly finger fucking your insides, “Then please, do cum for me, Y/N!”

And keep it up he does, eyeing your body and watching with satisfaction as you squirm and buck yourself into him; you want more of his mouth on your pink pearl and more of his thick fingers inside of you. Thinking you can handle it, Noriaki adds a third finger and continues his ministrations, wanting to bring you to your first climax of the evening. The pad of his fingers hits your g-spot one more time and coil in your abdomen uncurls, washing you with a wave of pleasure and your eyes rolling to the back of your head. After your orgasm settles down and you’re down gushing out your juice, the boy underneath you gently pulls out his fingers, admiring the slick wetness before popping it into his mouth. He can’t help it, you just taste so, so sweet to him. You relish in the afterglow of your climax before remember how hard your new lover must be.

Catching him off guard, you tackle the younger man back on the bed and start to unbuckle his belt. You then proceed to unzip his pants, pulling it and his boxer (with cherries on them of course) down to his ankles. You take a moment to examine his manhood, the length being long and having a decent amount of girth to it. You think the red tip is cute, matching hair color. While it looks appetizing, you want to get to the main course. Not wasting any more time, you mount your lover and begin to tease his dick, already leaking with precum. Kakyoin takes the time to appreciate your palpable body and how it radiates your lustful intentions. Your hair is already a mess, (e/c) eyes are wanting, and your shoulders and checks a subtle shade of red. He grabs your hips and helps you as you start to align your molten core with his bold erection, now slicker with your lewd fluids. Slowly, you begin to sink down, the tip of Kakyoin’s cock already filling you up. His nails bite into your waist, leaving crescent shape scars while his dick is buried to a hilt. “G-God, (Y/N), you feel absolutely amazing around me, p-please, I want more of your pussy–”

“N-Nori– mm, god, yes, I’ll fuck you, I-I want to thank you, oh god, you’re so big–” you babble, as you begin bouncing on him, taking control and placing your hands on his chest. You lean down for another passionate kiss, riding him until exhaustion before he takes the lead. Both of you go at it for hours…

Meanwhile, Jotaro can hear all of this. The walls are very thin but at least, so it seems, that the both of you are having fun. But it’s still annoying and your lewd noises will definitely wake up the cranky neighbors. “Yare yare daze,” the black-haired man groans to himself, rummaging through his drawer until he finds his handy dandy Walkman with his headphones already attached. He slips them on and presses the play button, blocking out the sultry moans and godawful dirty talks the both of you converse in. Finally, he can study in peace. He goes back to his desk and returns to his research for his marine zoology class. 

[trixiesmountainbikingfuturewitch]

IN MY WILDEST DREAMS (Trixie&Fan Fanfiction *explicit*)

I never thought that going to a drag show would change my life in such a drastic way.

It was the week of finals my junior year of college. A friend and I drove three hours to see our favorite drag queen, Trixie Mattel, live in concert. We arrived and waited anxiously in the queue. We had spent an inordinate amount of time preparing for the show, each spending hours replicating Trixie’s makeup and our favorite looks. Many people wanted to take pictures with us and we happily obliged. Once inside the venue, my friend and I ordered a drink or two (a move I would later question as a driver behind my actions). We sat on the floor near the stage. I had paid through the nose for our tickets and we had never been so excited. I was secretly nervous, a fact I declined to share with my friend. I had a serious crush on Tracy Martel and Brian subsequently since he appeared on season 7 of RPDR. Having recently won the all stars season, my obsession and love for the queen had reached an all new high.

Also unbeknownst to my friend, I had a RealDo tucked away between my legs with the bulbed end pushed up inside my pussy. The dildo portion was tucked up and duck taped between my legs and I could feel the plug inside my every time I took a step. I was dripping before we even got to the venue. By the time the show got underway with the opener, I was ridiculously horny. Somewhere in the back of my delusional mind I wondered if Trixie would notice me and think I was hot; completely absurd coming from a curvy, somewhat-straight white girl. Brian prided himself on being gold star gay and there was no reason for me to expect any kind of attention from him.

After the opener finished his set he announced Trixie and she marched out on stage in all of her pink and blonde statuesque glory. I nearly fainted I was cheering so loud. I couldn’t believe it, my idol was in the flesh right in front of me. She sang her opening song and started her comedic set. I sat in my seat slack jawed, completely dazed with my legs tightly crossed through the beginnings of her set. I couldn’t get over how beautiful she looked. She was so tall and slender in her pink jumpsuit I couldn't take my eyes off of her. When she came back on stage in a giant pink coat and pink all-that-jazz dress I literally lost my mind. It occurred to me that I shouldn’t be so attracted to her since I considered myself straight. But I couldn’t stop staring at her voluptuous, full hips and breasts as she swayed across the stage crooning the lyrics to my favorite song. I was so close to her that I could see Brian’s beautiful deep chocolate eyes behind all of Trixie’s makeup.

Toward the middle of the show, Trixie took her guitar off and asked for the lights to go up so she could see the audience. My heart leapt at the mere thought of Trixie seeing me. Everyone in the audience jumped to their feet trying to catch the attention of the beautiful queen. Luckily, I was quite tall compared to everyone else around me, especially in my killer heels so I was easily seen above the crowd. She began picking people at random, asking them questions and making jokes. Then she called for a volunteer. A tiny part of my mind cried out “this is your chance.” So I raised my hand and waved. I stared at her and willed her to look in my direction, to choose me. By some stroke of luck, she twirled around and looked directly at my and pointed at me without hesitation. I walked toward the stage in a complete daze as Trixie said “a round of applause for this amazing queen, she dressed up and none of the rest of you did. You can all leave now, she showed all of you up.” The crowd chuckled and applauded as I climbed the side stairs up to the stage. My heart was in my stomach as a walked up to the blonde bombshell. She was even taller than I imagined, towering over me. Even being near her made my poor cunt throb and contract around the plug. She put her arm around me and asked me for my name and where I was from. I responded and she told me not to be so nervous. “You did a really great job we look just alike. But mine is all fake, tell me did you pad or is this lovely figure all yours?” she asked, her eyes smiling. “Its all me,” I replied becoming shy at being ogled but secretly pleased by the attention. I knew that I was good looking, with my thin waist and wide hips but I never expected Trixie to notice. She made a mock shocked face that made the audience roar. She turned to me and began to feel around my waist “so Skinny,” she said into the mic. I could feel her strong hands and guitar calluses through my catsuit as she touched me. “Not as skinny as the skinny legend tho,” I responded smiling, to which the crowd roared with laughter. After addressing the crowd again, she turned back to me and tilted her head down slightly to meet my eyes. I looked back deeply into her dark eyes and saw a flash of uncertainty there in the depths. She continued to stare at my for another heartbeat or so before looking away and cracking a joke. “Ok, now then,” she said looking at me, “were going to play a quick game of truth or dare and we have to do what the cards say.” She produced cards with dares written on them and handed me half of the stack. She went first, “truth or dare,” she asked. “Truth” I replied. Trixie drew a card from her stack. “Have you ever had a crush on a drag queen?” she asked laughing and saying “who the fuck wrote these questions, a teenage boy?” The crowd laughed. I personally was panicking because I did indeed have a crush on a drag queen that just so happened to be standing right in front of me on stage in front of hundreds of people. “Yes,” I said, being too shy to give any further details. “Oh come on, who?” she prodded. I looked at the crowd then looked back at her nervously. Summoning my courage I replied, “you.” The crowd gave a loud, collective “awwwww”. “That’s very sweet,” she replied giving me a lingering side hug. As she squeezed me, the hand wrapped around my side traveled slowly down to a questionable level just above my ass. I responded by moving my hand further down to which she quickly moved away. “Ok my turn” I stated, “truth or dare?” “Dare,” said Trixie. I drew a card from my stack and read the contents, “I dare you to continue with your set for five minutes with my hand taped to your crotch and yours taped to mine.” I doubled over laughing at the horrified expression on her face while the crowd lost their god damn minds. Trixie looked hesitant but agreed. It was at this point that I panicked. Would she feel the dildo through my leotard even with it tucked between my legs? Would I be able to feel Brian’s cock through his many layers of padding? A crew member then stepped on stage with a roll of duck tape and proceeded to tape my hand to Trixie’s crotch and then his hand to mine. I kept my hand relaxed not wanting to make him uncomfortable but I felt him moving his hand around on my crotch trying to put some space between my body and his hand. I cautiously curled my hand inward and pressed slightly, feeling for his allegedly huge cock. He mirrored my movements curiously and I could tell that he felt the dildo because he froze and his eyes grew wide. He played it off well, cracking a joke and making an uncomfortable face, joking about never touching pussy before. While he stoked I could feel his dick twitch slightly, making my face red with embarrassment and arousal.

We somehow managed to make it through the five minutes without further embarrassment. We were untapped from each other and I expected to be shown back to my seat. As I waved to the crowd and turned to go, Trixie grabbed my arm and whispered, “wait for me in my dressing room after the show.” I looked into his eyes and slowly nodded, the implications running through my brain which I quickly quieted. I waved again and climbed down the stairs. A staff member met me at the bottom and directed me through a side door and into the backstage area. They then led me to a door off of the main area, which was opened and I was instructed to stay and wait for Trixie. They asked if I wanted/needed anything and I said no. They then left me alone in his dressing room. I was in such a state of shock at the events that just transpired that I stood in the middle of the room for a good five minutes before I was prompted to move and explore the space. The room was tiny and littered with makeup products and quickly disregarded costume changes. I wandered over to the mirror where Trixie’s phone and other personal things sat. I looked up at the mirror and imagined him doing his makeup and getting ready. There were photos attached to the mirror. Photos of him with friends, some of whom I recognized were hastily stuck into the frame. I don't know how long I sat before the mirror lost in thought before I heard a rousing cheer from the crowd and knew that Trixie must have completed her show. Moments later the door opened and in stepped the skinny legend herself. I rose out of the chair and moved to the side of the room as she entered with her crew that helped her get un-miced and then left us alone. I was so shy I couldn't even look at her. It was slightly awkward as I stood to the side looking at the ground while he stared at me. “Well,” he said pausing I looked up at him and he had removed his wig and was beginning to shrug out of the dress he was wearing.

I had always been attacked to the duality of Trixie and Brian, the quiet strength and confidence of Brian mixed with the over-the-top persona of Trixie. As he stood there and looked at me half out of drag, I had never been so turned on in my life. I tried to inconspicuously cross my legs but his eyes darted toward the movement and they flickered back up to mine and his face changed into a knowing smile. He continued taking off his dress, watching me the whole time. When it hit the floor, I was able to see the thick padding and corsetry that he wore. The silence of the last few moments was broken by “so are you a woman or trans or what because I know what I felt?” He continued undressing, clearly not bothered by my presence. He stripped the many pairs of tights off and I could see the heavy bulge of his cock through his underwear. “I’m a woman” I replied, looking him dead in the eyes. “Well I could have sworn I felt a dick down there,” he said unbuckling his corset. He eyed me up and down, lingering on my crotch. I suddenly felt less nervous and self-conscious so I walked closer to him and he looked up with interest. I purposefully cupped his hand around my crotch and ground forward into his palm all the while looking into his eyes. His irises expanded and he took a shaky breath in, cautiously moving his other hand around to cup my ass and squeeze. With him accepting my advances, I quit holding back and wrapped both of my hands around his luscious ass and pulled, grinding our pelvises together. A huge breath punched out of him and he stepped back, shaken. “I don't understand this, I’ve never been turned on by a woman before,” he stated clearly distressed. I didn’t verbally respond but I reached up and began to remove my catsuit, pulling it down over my chest and shimming out of it. I straightened back up with my breasts exposed and his eyes were glued to my crotch where the clearly visible dildo was peaking out from between my legs. His legs seemed to carry him forward of their own accord as he continued to stare at me. He got closer to me and then stopped, hesitantly pulling his underwear off and tossing them in the corner.

He was even more gorgeous out of drag with his shining eyes and wide shoulders tapering to a thin waist but I couldn’t look away from his cock. It was truly huge and about half hard hanging slightly away from his body. A few variations of what could happen next flashed through my mind, me fucking him; him fucking me. I reached down and removed the tape holding the dildo between my legs. His eyes zeroed in on my crotch and got even larger. His eyes traveling up the rest of my curvy form, he stepped closer to me and put his hands around my waist. I couldn't believe it when he turned his head slightly and hesitantly closed the distance between our faces, our lips meeting.

I breathed out and slipped my tongue into his mouth, dominating the kiss and pulling him closer by his ass. We made out for a good couple of minutes before I was so turned on I couldn't see straight and I grabbed him by the arms and slammed him face first into a nearby wall. I plastered myself across his back and rubbed the dildo up and down the crack of his ass. I he moaned appreciatively. I let my hand wonder around to touch his cock and found him fully hard and dripping pre-cum. “What do you want?” I snarled into his ear, continuing to grind against his ass. “I want you to fuck me,” he responded, shoving back with great strength. I agreed and asked him for lube which he quickly produced from his bag. I slicked up the dildo, trying to keep my breasts from brushing against his back for fear of putting him off. He didn’t seem to mind tho because he kept reaching back and pulling me closer to his back. I reached around and slowly began to stroke his huge cock while I pushed a single finger into his ass. He sighed and relaxed back against me. I was quickly working three fingers in his slutty ass and determined he was ready. “Is your ass ready for my cock baby?” I whispered into his ear, teasing his hole with the head of the dildo. “Yes please, fuck me, I’m so ready.” I continued to tease him as he grew more desperate, whining under his breath and doing his best to impale his ass on the dildo. “Please put it in, I can’t cum without something in my ass, please,” he begged. I finally acquiesced, shoving the whole length of the dildo up his ass in one smooth slide. “Fuck god yes!” he moaned shoving his ass back. I proceeded to pound his ass against the wall, feeling the bulb of the dildo shift inside me with every thrust. “Harder, god fuck me harder” he pleaded using the hand not propping himself up on the wall to stroke his leaking cock. I wrapped my arms around his torso and shifted my thrust to try and hit his prostate while slamming forward as hard as I could, our bodies slapping together. With a yell, he came, painting the wall in front of him with cum. Hearing his pleasured moans and feeling his ass contract around the dildo, I quickly reached down and stroked my clit once, twice, three times and came shuttering through the best orgasm of my life still buried in Trixie Mattel’s ass. We stood there just breathing slumped against the wall for a few minutes before I regained the strength to pull out. I pulled the bulb of the RealDo out of my cunt, shuttering with oversensitivity and set it on the vanity. I turned back to Brian who had turned around, but was still leaning against the wall. We both looked a mess, both of our makeup smeared to hell from our make out. “That was incredible, you've ruined me for all men now, thanks!” he said smiling, breaking the silence. I giggled as I began pulling my clothes back on. Trixie went and sat down in front of the mirror and proceeded to remove what remained of her makeup. She then faced me and I was met with sweet, simple Brian in the flesh. The gravity of the situation hit me and I couldn't believe that we had just fucked; not only fucked but that I fucked HIM. “Do you want to stay the night with me?” he asked, looking hopeful but also uncertain. I thought for a moment, “I would like that,” I responded. He quickly pulled on an oversized black hoodie and tight black jeans before stepping out of the room to talk to his crew. I took the opportunity to remove the over-the-top Trixie makeup and fix my wild hair. I texted my friend who had been blowing up my phone wondering where I was. I didn’t give her any specifics and told her I was going to stay in town for the night and that she should take the car and head back home. She begrudgingly agreed, demanding an explanation upon my return. It was then that Brian walked back into the room. He smiled sheepishly at me like I hadn't just fucked the shit out of his ass and offered me a hand, leading me out of the room. The crew was around taking down the massive Trixie letters and generally gathering things as we walked by. I could feel their stares as we walked through backstage and out the side door into the night. I followed closely behind him as we walked toward a car parked a little down the street at the curb. He paused and held the door open for me while I slid inside. He walked around and got in on the other side and the car started toward the hotel. It was slightly awkward for a few minutes before I began asking him questions about the show and the cities he had been to. He seemed to genuinely appreciate my interest and we talked the rest of the way to his hotel. We got out and walked straight to the elevator and up to his room. He said goodnight to his crew member that had ridden in the passenger seat and she looked at me with a questioning face and bid me good night. He opened the door and walked into the typical hotel room throwing his suitcase on the couch and walking toward the bathroom. “I’m going to shower, I feel really gross,” he said stripping out of his shirt. “Get whatever you like out of the fridge or order whatever you'd like. I’ll be out in just a minute,” he said smiling at me kindly. I nodded and went to sit on the bed while I heard the shower kick on from the other room. I took a minute to think about all that had transpired that day and the crazy fact that my wildest dream and hope had come true. I continued to sit there lost in thought, replaying the day over and over. Then I began to think about fucking him and the way he looked and how he sounded. I felt myself getting wet again just thinking about his ass and how well he took my cock. I proceeded to strip out of my clothes and lay back on the bed, gingerly putting a hand between my legs. I used to fingers to begin to gently pump in and out of my pussy while imagining Brian fucking me, his huge cock filling me up and making me cum. I was getting dangerously close to orgasm when I heard the shower cut off and Brian stepped into the room wrapped only in a towel. I looked at him lazily for a minute, wondering how he would react as a gay man to seeing a woman masturbating on his bed. “You’re gorgeous you know,” he said walking further into the room and letting the towel fall from his slim hips. He sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, mindful of his still tender ass. He continued to watch me while I slowly thrust my fingers with one hand and circled my clit with the other. “I want to see how you touch yourself,” he stated, leaning back on one hand and surveying the scene. I turned my body on the bed slightly toward him so he could see better and continued with my ministrations, mindful of his eyes on me. I closed my eyes and flickered back to images of us fucking earlier and picked up the pace with my fingers fucking in and out of my pussy. I was getting close when he gentle said, “turn over.” I opened my eyes and looked into his lust blown eyes. One hand was clasped loosely around his half hard cock. I hesitantly rolled over onto my stomach and spread my legs slightly to still be able to access my cunt. I felt him shift on the bed behind me and my stomach dropped, imagining the possibilities. “You may be a girl but there is something I could do thats familiar to me,” he said. I could hear the smirk in his voice. Before I realized what was happening I felt something wet skate across my ass. My first instinct was to shy away but Brian grabbed my hips to hold me in place. To this day I don’t know how I didn’t cum on the spot. He continued to lick and bite at my cheeks before moving his tongue to move up and down my crack, just missing my aching hole. My breathing sped up and I let rhythmic little sighs escape. He finally focused his attention on my asshole and pushed forward with his tongue to slip just the tip inside. He lapped at my hole, every few passes pushing it further inside my body. Eventually his tongue was as far as it could go up my ass and I was seconds away from coming my brains out. I felt him move up my body and he asked “can I fuck your ass?” “Yes god please anything, anything you want,” I responded desperate for whatever he would give me. He got off the bed and return with lube which he liberally applied to his cock. He slicked up his fingers and slid one in my hole. I stopped touching myself to better support myself with my legs spread wide on the bed as he fingered my ass, getting it ready for his huge cock. He was gentle and mumbled phrases likes “you take it so well” and “I cant wait to be inside you.” Eventually he was easily pumping three fingers in my ass and I was pushing back to meet his thrusts. He removed his fingers and I missed the sensation of being filled immediately. I didn’t have to wait long for the press of his cock that felt like it would never fit. He pushed forward at a glacial pace, forcing my ass to take his cock. The feeling of my hole opening wider and wider was both indescribably hot and painful. Soon enough, he was all the way seated and paused for me to adjust to his massive girth. I nodded my head, indicating I was ready and he pulled out slowly and thrust back in with slightly more power. He then picked up the pace and before I knew it I was being well and truly fucked through the mattress. “Your slutty ass takes my cock so well, like you were born for it,” he said between thrusts. We were both drenched with sweat and breathing hard. He pushed my down flat onto the bed, plastering himself across my back and grinding his dick hard into my ass. He put his hands on my hips and shoved them all the way to the bed as he bit the back of my neck. I bucked back against him, needing a little more to push me over the edge. It was then that his hand wandered down to my pussy and clumsily fingered my clit. “Cum baby,” he said into my ear. I moaned loudly as I squirted all over the sheets, bucking back violently with my orgasm. The contractions of my ass sent him over the edge, moaning brokenly into my neck as he ground his dick inside me until finally coming to a halt, collapsing onto the bed. We both rested for a few minutes before rapping around each other. He kissed me sweetly on the head and began telling me about other sexual conquests he had had and how he would never get over how the best fuck he ever had was a woman. I was content to gaze lovingly into his beautiful face until he told me goodnight and fell asleep tangled together, meant to be.

[sigurdjarlson]

Bored so have some headcanons about Ladelia who tends to get less attention from me and it’s a shame

Ladelia is terrified of spiders but the two spiders Diily has as pets (very, very large spiders) absolutely adore her and it scares the shit out of her, especially cuz one likes to crawl into her bed at night

She favors fire then arcane and Frost is her weakest spec

Her crush on Jaina is still alive and well and it will only get worse I’m sure when she sees her again

She snorts when she laughs really hard

She displayed magical talent from a very young age it was chaos until her father taught her how to control it

Allueneth (her father) had no interest in using his own magic...until Ladelia was born and he realized she would have to be able to control it and then she wanted to learn more and he sucked it up for her and taught her what he could

Ladelia was very shy and skittish as a child now she’s far more confident and outgoing I mean I would be too if I could incinerate people with a mere flick of my hand

She’s much more outwardly emotional than her sisters who both internalize their emotions

She’s a lesbian while her sisters are both bi

She’s never had a girlfriend or had her first kiss Yes that means she’s a virgin

Neither Diily or Alaluria are virgins

She gets a crush on ladies she meets very easily but her biggest crush so far is Jaina

I guess this family has a thing for silver haired mages with issues

Jaina has no clue and probably won’t ever find out

She’s more outwardly peppy and bubbly then her sisters and absolutely would be the one to burst into song on a long trip (im for some reason thinking of koda from brother bear “tell everybody I’m on my wayyy”)

Loves to prank and mess with both her sisters but especially Alaluria because she gets so pissed

Can talk a mile a minute and gets super excited

Loves Khadgar like a big bro

Also loves illidan like a big bro much to Diily’s dismay and Alaluria’s delight, Ladelia just figures Alaluria loves him so she should too even if he’s..unpleasant

Prone to pouting when mad or angry crying

Will shamelessly run to her sisters for protection if she’s outmatched I mean hey she would rather swallow her pride than die lmao fuck that

Her mount Morningflower is Brighthearts cub just like Shadowclaw and Wildheart are. But from different litters (fitting for the three sisters to have well, three sabers that are sisters too)

Endless thirst for learning and loves pestering Khadgar about stuff which is fair because he can learn from her too, she has been alive a lot longer than he has

Inexplicably does not like Kalec but no one knows why except her sisters

Goofball and it turns her sisters into goofballs too, even Alaluria

Happy exterior hides deep rooted trauma and inferiority complex

Doesn’t remember much of the day her parents died, Diily privately thinks it’s a reaction to trauma, she was so young and just couldn’t handle it,

Diily and Alaluria however remember everything. Diily being the oldest remembers everything the most vividly

Loves battle, and makes a show of it, she loves to impress

Her and Alaluria have their mother’s hair color (blue) while Diily has her father’s (purple)

She’s a bit naive, she’s the night elf equivalent to a human in their early 20’s, by night elf standards she’s actually quite young

Loves to eat and can eat..a lot. She’s also chubby even though her in game model can’t show that /grumble

Is actually a very good cook but just conjures food is in need of a quick snack.

Loves Pandaria, good food, peaceful folk, lots of alcohol, beautiful land..what’s not to love?

Probably the one with the strongest faith out of the three, Diily being second and Alaluria third

Was an absolute wreck when Khadgar killed Diily making the legendary ring, honestly Khadgar doesn’t know how close to being incinerated he was asldkfkff

Being granted the title Archmage is something she holds very close to her heart and feels extremely proud about

Was deeply troubled by withered, she never wants to end up so addicted to magic like that..or like other magic addicted elves

Very ambitious and has to be brought back down to earth I mean Azeroth sometimes

Beserk button is hurting Diily or Alaluria, I think it’s safe to assume hurting the others is the biggest beserk button for all three

She’s deeply empathetic, feels deeply and it shows, she wears her heart on her sleeve

Very good with kids and wants them in the future, she’d love to adopt. She visits the Stormwind orphanage when they go there sometimes and gives them treats and hangs out (she’s an orphan too after all)

She’d adopt a child of any race including horde races

Despite being quite needy with her sisters she’s actually not the jealous one, it’s Alaluria who doesn’t like sharing her sisters with anyone. Ladelia is more apt to just be like !!! Have fun!!! Love u!!!

if they’re on the road (they usually are) she’ll always sleep right beside Diily where she feels safest, however! She feels safest when Alaluria is on her other side too (putting her in the middle) and Brightheart, Wildheart, Shadowclaw and Morningflower are curled up with them

Absolutely saved their lives in their childhood a lot without knowing because she was able to start a fire with magic when Diily or Alaluria couldn’t get one going manually (for warmth, boiling water, cooking food, etc)

V Cuddly and physically affectionate.

Diily had to tackle her out of the way of harm once on the first attack on the Broken shore because she was too busy staring at Jaina in awe (reminds me of that one text post lmao “get up you useless lesbian!!”)

Can communicate with both her sisters without saying a word not through telepathy or anything like that..they just know each other that well, have their own signals, etc

Wants to be an aunt so badly and knows Alaluria is never gonna have kids so it’s lol on Diily! (She’d never actually pressure her she’s just playing if she says shit like that and Diily knows it. she still would love to be an aunt tho and she’d be an amazing one)

Joked about Illidan and Alaluria having kids and while Alaluria tried to beat her ass (playful sibling fighting not actually to hurt her) Diily just sat there looking like her soul was leaving her body because of the mere thought of Alaluria having illidan’s child

Apologized to illidan for killing him that one time and he was just like “..uh...okay”

Made Hrolf lose his shit laughing mid battle with gul’dan because she called out “Gul’daddy is coming your way, big guy”

The first thing Diily did then is glance at Khadgar very quickly and he looked like he was about to have a stroke (how dare u make him hear that)

She likes to joke around obviously. It keeps everyone’s spirits high. She can be serious if need be though.

Diily, Alaluria and Ladelia banter while in battle constantly. It’s just what they do. Sometimes you just gotta roast your sister real quick even while fighting...or just make some bad jokes. “wow Ladelia you’re on fire tonight” “shut the fuck up, Diily”

Both her and Diily have picked up cursing in common after so many years fighting by humans and other races (example 1 above) Alaluria is picking it up now too from them and is quite...ah creative with it

Inside jokes galore with the three of them and it’s probably annoying to everyone else around them lmao

Ladelia takes the most pride and enjoyment in making her armor sets awesome (transmogging and shit) it’s fashion bitch

Would be the 1st person to quote a meme

Is super jealous that Khadgar and Medivh can turn into a bird and she can’t

She does love her violet magic bird mount she got from the Kirin Tor after defeating Argus the Unmaker though :’)

Had an absolute blast in Karazhan..both times around!

Leaned over to Diily and whispered “they fucked” when Medivh and Khadgar were talking and Diily was just like “Well obviously”

If she wasn’t gay she’d probably be into Med honestly but she’s gay af so she just thinks he’s neat (*insert potato meme here but Medivh is the potato*) she likes his style.

Has trouble being quiet when she needs to be because she talks so much and gets excited and must comment.

The commentary from the whole group of my ally ocs during events in game honestly could be a fic in itself. They’re idiots and I love them

[lihikainanea]

I saw you post saying you were accepting venting so here I am bc ya girl is going through it ...So like first of all, College is fucking my ass up rn and like I don’t even know how to explain it properly basically It’s just like so easy it stresses me out? Like this one assignment I have, completed was literally 3 sentences and there’s no word requirement or anything like that and it literally only asks one little question and is worth 2 marks but I’m just sitting here, so stressed to submit it even tho logically I know this is really all I can do my uni brain just can’t accept that I have a 3 sentence assignment and I’m like 🤪🤪🤪 losing it. ALSO THE QUESTIONS WE GET ARE SO STUPID ONE WAS LITTERALLY LIKE “if you were trained in x interviewing method for your job, under what conditions would you feel comfortable applying this technique” like trying to be all self reflective and I’m literally sitting here like comfort???? Bruh if I was TRAINED and it was expected for my job, Idk but MAYBE ID JUST DO MY JOB? TF DOES COMFORT HAVE TO DO WITH IT?LIKE DO YOUR JOB OR GO HOME??

And then in my other class, all the readings are literally from 1998-2004 in a field where THERE HAS BEEN SO MUCH ADVANCEMENT PARTICULARLY IN THE PAST 20 YEARS AND IM LIKE???? Why am I reading this?? It’s not even like the instructor is supplementing this information with class notes or relevant updates, nope she’s just like ok hey here’s some old as readings and a bunch of this shit is so outdated it’s literally incorrect (which I know from when we covered the topics in university with resources collected from this decade) like this is a Post grad program, you literally need a BA at minimum to get in and this whole thing is so stupid like why am I even here I should’ve just gone for my master’s instead bc at least my uni-geared mind would’ve thrived instead of me over stressing myself over college which is so dumb.

Also none of these stupid lil assignments have rubrics so it’s just like LOL OK COOL NO WORRIES. I can’t deal, I wasn’t made for college this shit is easier than high school like why did I even pay for it

And then ok so this is probably tmi but w/e, I have to do this 24 hour collection test and basically you go to the lab and get the collection jug and it’s a big jug but it doesn’t look like a big jug so I asked the lady for another one in case the other one gets full and she was like all skeptical and was like do you pee a lot? And like I don’t but my dumbass brain was like CHALLENGE ACCEPTED and I literally drank almost 4 liters of water today to full up this jug and I legit have a good quarter left to go.

Someone please shoot me in the heat, tysm

UGH. I mean, I struggled in university but it wasn’t due to subject matter, it was kind of due to the 287896965960 million other things I was seemingly expected to do at the same time. Move out? Support myself? Have a meaningful relationship? Make money? Save for retirement? have nice things? IDFK. none of it matters now but I do wish somebody had told me that those expectations are fucking insane.

I know what you mean though, I think some of us are kind of programmed to always be waiting for the other proverbial shoe to drop. Like, why is this so easy? what am I missing? what am I doing wrong? what is going to go horribly awry in the near future to balance out how disturbingly easy this is?

Normalize that you are just good at stuff. I don’t know about you, but if my best friend told me something came really easy to her, I’d be like “Of course it did. You are insanely smart and it must mean you are just good at this.” speak that way about yourself.

Also, I’ve had to do the cortisol test. I can tell you, it was incredibly humbling to carry around my own bucket of pee all day. And by humbling, I mean like...fucking gross. Hope it all went okay xoxo

[inuashnar1]

Number 60 Deadmonton 5.9.2020

I pick up bones when I walk the path of my daily scheduled 1hour exercise. 

Oh. 

Wait.

 A little bit more about the walk. It's a ritual - I say to myself. Something to keep myself 'together' - I absolutely fear that without it I will feel my experience of time crumble and dissolve around me until I am without borders and without entries - and no one wants that.

The bones are happenstance. They don't follow me, but I certainly don't look for them either. I usually see them at early morning dawn or late evening dusk.  Time periods where the air is a bit cooler and water droplets start to congeal around the surfaces they congregate upon (when I arrive home from walking at dusk, I especially have to shake like a dog to rid myself of the Dewey wetness that films around me.). I usually hear them when they are older, not fresher. I usually smell them they they are fresher, not older. And again, I do not look for them. I do not wish to see yellow stained white, brown, brittle, snapped, joints, skulls, cartilage, flesh, flies, toes, teeth, sharp little stingers, littered like a foray of shrapnel as if sprayed by a Jackson Pollock impersonator. And yet, it persists.

The first set of bones I saw were small. I was taking a photo of a small red chair. The kind of chair that a preschool child would be sitting in, hands sticky with spit and then coated with rice because sand is coarse and it's harder to clean. The chair was made of hard red plastic that would probably never recede into the earth to decompose. I imagine plastic to the earth, like a stone to our intestine. A difficult thing to swallow, and it would probably give you haemorrhoids for years to follow. It’s plastic back was pressed up against a poorly maintained wooden brown fence that was rusted from the rain, the frost, the snow, the sleet, the dust, and then the sun, that the prairies were so adept at sharing. How generous the prairies are in their natural display of weather. Bravo. 

Another thing about where I live is that, in the scope of the city, it's the rural trailer trash neighbourhood. We have ‘The Largest Mall in North America in the 80′s’ just about 10 minutes away. A Walmart that’s next door. A Hospital that has had the banner “ Peace on Earth “ up for around 5 years now. There is a fellowship of Hell’s Angels that live around the corner from me. At around 4 pm everyday, you can go outside and walk for hours without encountering another person face to face. Big rigs, trailers, boats on tows, Uggs in the summer, sandals in the fall, Uggs in the winter, runners in the spring, giant trucks with giant wheels, vans from the 2000s, a surveillance sign that reads “ Smile, Your on Camera”, backyards with metal fences that you have to put plastic inserts into for privacy’s sake, going trick or treating in -20C and having to wear a full winter jacket, snow pants, snow boots, mittens, underneath my dragon costume.  There is no tall building for kilo-meters. Just dry rolling dirt and grass, and herds of magpies that chirp  The air is so dry here that in the winter time, if you don’t cover up your hands or your face, when you examine them after you’ve been blessedly touched by the elements, your knuckles will have looked like an old renaissance painting who’s paint is oil based and is so thick that because of age, the passing of time, the removal of a permanent home, the permanent home that ended up being some lower class suburban’s bungalow basement, it’s paint will be cracked and brittle. Imagine those cracks now, to have fresh red blood that then highlights all of the juts, and divots and slices of skin with stinging neon red lines. Your nose would be bleeding. But, not dripping with hot red blood. Instead, caked on the inside. Coating your inner nostrils with a brick and cinder smell that get’s softer after each inhale until you feel as though there are small rocks in your nose. It tickles. It’s heavy? But only on the left side. And when you do pick your nose, you will find a bloody dry waxy ball. Browney-red in colour with an ‘aging translucent plastic’ tinted yellow. The rest of your finger - index or otherwise - will be dotted with browney-red scales of blood. Little scales, that could cover an extremely small Tetra fish. 

Prairie living prides itself on being simple. But not uniform. 

I take to only walking the back alleys nowadays because the front face of everyone's house is so neat and presentable. The backyard is where the real people live, with the garbage and the filth that they love. On overcast days I feel like I'm in a northern mining town. On sunny days I feel like I'm in a deserted ghost town. On winter days I feel as though the apocalypse had happened, and I am the finale wanderer of this wretched frozen tundra.

The use of chairs in back alleys is common for the folk of my neighbourhood. Thus, this red chair was something I was familiar with. However, the dried bones of a small rodent were, to say the least, new. Overgrown grass punctuated the space around the red chair, and to it's left, from here I was standing so my left, was a curled up skeleton of this small creature. In a bucket of the grassy wheat. Tail strewn somewhere, it's head was still festering in rot with patches of brown fur sticking to the crevices of the rodents skyward facing cheek and one of its ears was cleanly missing.Teeth were all in tact which is amazing. They must have had such healthy dental hygiene routine.  A zippered spine and accompanying ribs. Squished, squashed, panini pressed quads and missing right foot. The cleanest and dried part of this corpse were it's hands. White and chiseled, something made sure that it's paws were the focal point of what I was seeing. Clasped as if it were praying, mouth slightly agape ( dislocated ) and eyeless, the rodent disappeared into the grass as quickly as it emerged. The earth sliding it down it's throat as an appetizer for later perhaps.

The second set of bones I encountered happened in the early morning. My left leg was acting bizarre. Clicking and clanking as if it needed an oil change with every step I managed. But stopping is not an option. I'd rather feel the pain of my disjointed left leg, than refute my humanity by not walking - for we die in stillness, not in motion. 

At around the second last back alley my leg was getting tired. I could feel my canine teeth buzzing behind my lips - I knew I was overworking myself. So I took a stop. There was a small concrete lip beside a garbage can that I decided to rest upon. Medium sized gravel that you could punt with boots was readily available, so I found myself picking them up and throwing them at the raspberry bush across from my sitting place. I would have to have a snack before I left as well. I dusted my hands on my sweatpants and set my left hand down on something sharp enough to make me recoil with a sting.

Captain America.

His ass stuck to a hard blue plastic motorbike.

His waist was shattered into two pieces - one connected to the front of the bike the other to the back.

His head was smashed in. What I would imagine someone’s actual head to look like if the top half of it was violently surrendered to the weight of a Semi-truck tire or a boulder dropping from a height I could not mathematically propose to you, but I can only suggest as ‘fear that freezes you’, in rough meters.

My hand was bleeding from that encounter. My blood was giving believability to this plastic Captain's life. As if it's life were worth taking. It felt as tho I just peed my pants. In a panic, I stood, my hands slamming onto my butt. But, then I remembered that it’s still 6 in the morning, and the dewey air coated not just me - but everything. 

I didn't eat any raspberries because my hands felt too dirty to eat back alley fruit anymore.

[rhodochrosite-love]

Devil’s Guilt pt. 2

Words: a lot

Pairing: slight Dice/Ace

Tags: little swear, tough times, tension, close calls

The next few months after were a special kind of hell, chock full of an uneasiness not meant for the innocent world. Lucky for Ace, this was Hell itself. As the days went on, the more guilt he felt. The more he saw his brothers, the guilt would breed and multiply in the darkest corners of his mind. The fear that came from the guilt, however, was worse.

As Ace sat on his bunk in his part of the house, he stroked the soft material of his dress shirt that lay on the sheets. A forlorn expression laid across his features as he procrastinated, what am I goin’ ta do? Ace thought. It’s been months since I’ve talked ta boss, and I know he’s suspectin’ me… What’s a guy ta do? The boy sighed and finally reached for the shirt and rolled his arms into the sleeves, preparing to button it when the door swung open.

“Whadda wallop those kids gave me!” Said the other man, stretching his arms like they’d pop out if he stopped for a second. Ace looked him up and down; the man’s hair, like Ace’s, was light and fluffy at the ends, but seemed more ruffled. There were a few cuts on his cheek, but it looked like he once had more. The goatee on his chin signified the other man’s stance as older, while his eyes said the exact opposite. Ace chuckled, “Ya probably deserve it, Mae. Who KNOWS what goes on in that head’a yours.” A little smile planted itself on the boy’s face, but quickly dropped when he turned away.

Maestro was one of Ace’s older brothers, the second oldest. While Ace was the softer of the 4, Maestro often proved to be the exact opposite. Bruises were always evident on Maestro’s body, and now cuts since they entered the casino business. Maestro plopped down on a bed and rubbed the gauges in his ears, then tapped the diamond earrings as if to assure himself that they were still there. He leaned down to reach his hand under the bed to grab a first aid kit, open it, and take out the mirror that lay inside. Maestro held it up to his face and ran his finger across his parted lips, eyeing the chipped tooth near the front of his mouth. “Damn!” The man said with a hint of frustration, “those scrubs got me pretty good! I mean, I know they got Doyen, but those kids sure can run ‘n’ gun!” He set the mirror down and got out the small roll of bandage to start wrapping his wrist.

For the past few months, these two kids got their souls snatched by the Devil. Thing is, not everyone comes back from that, but these two fellas started collecting contracts and fighting for their souls. To Ace, it seemed so familiar, for the 4 of them had done that, once upon a time. “Hey, speakin’ a’ which, you seen Doyen anywhere? I reckon he’s gotta SHIT ton a’ scrapes from his fight. I checked ‘is table, but he ain’t nowhere… “ Maestro broke the silence once again, breaking Ace from his thoughts. The younger brother responded, “Naw, I haven’t seem ‘im. Must be hurtin’ tho, from that beatdown… Must’ve been fun, huh?” Ace looked back to his vest and dusted it off, then slipping that around his waist and slowly buttoning it.

Maestro looked up at his brother quizzically, “‘Ey, what’s wit’ you? You don’t gotcha mind in the’ gutta, do ya?” Ace shook his head and chuckled softly, “No, no. Just thinkin’, is all.” “About th’boss, amiright?” The younger boy tensed up at the thought of his boss, without recognizing Maestro’s flirtatious meaning behind it. Oh god, do I tell ‘em now? What would he think? Oh god, I- “‘cuz I gotta admit, you spend a lotta time wit’ that guy. It’s gettin’ weird.” Maestro looked around, thoughts running through his head. Suddenly, a thought struck his mind, and Ace knew the exact one.

When the boy turned around, Maestro was already standing up, a worried expression laid across his face. Ace looked at him with a fake smile, “I don’t think it’s… SO weird, y’know? Isn’t- Isn’t it natural for two people ta get along?” Maestro inspected his brother with an uneasiness in his stomach, and pointed his finger, “‘ey, are you, you an’ him-” He clenched his other hand into a fist, his tongue tracing his lips for a quick moment, “-are you an’ him pitchin’ woo? I hope ya rememba’, what we all went through togetha’, an’ if you’re in kahoots with-” Maestro pointed to the door, signalling the outside world. “-THAT guy, then you’ve gotta whole other thing comin’-” “Speakin’ a’ Dice, ah… We have ta talk.”

This stopped his big brother in his tracks, and made him start his habit of clenching and unclenching his hands. Oh, jesus christ, not this shit again, thought Ace, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Maestro was quieter now, his eyes set on his brother after riling himself up. Ace sighed and continued, “I… I don’t know if I… can do this anymore.” He looked to Maestro, who nodded at him to keep going. Ace sighed a second time, “I can’t keep up with you guys, y’know? I’m just, so sick, of bein’ on my knees and beggin’ for scraps. I wanna do somethin’, be somethin’...” Ace finally looked up again at his brother’s face, and said with the most seriousness he’s ever had, “If I have...ta let ya’ll go, well… “ He trailed off.

Maestro’s eyes widened, his breath hitching. His brow furrowed after a few seconds of fist clenching, and when he spoke, his voice was loud and furious, “SO YOU'RE JUST GONNA DROP US, JUS’ LIKE THAT?!” The older man was trying so hard to search his brother’s eyes for a hint of a joke, but when he found none, he took a step forward. Ace saw this, and did nothing. He had expected this out of Maestro… he was the rowdiest, after all. “Mae-” “NO! DON’T YOU ‘MAE’ ME! DON’T YOU REALIZE WHAT YA JUS’ SAID??” Ace turned to look away, knowing this would happen. There was nothing Ace could say, or do, to fix what he just did. Tears stained the corners of his eyes as another man entered the room, “‘Ey, what’s wit’ th’shoutin’?”

Champ, Ace’s third eldest brother, strolled into the room at the worst, most absolutely terrible time. His tired eye, the unbandaged one, looked between his younger brother and older brother, an eyebrow raised in suspicion. Maestro shrugged his shoulders and scoffed, walking in circles now, “I knew it. I KNEW it! There was ALWAYS gonna be a traita’ in our lil’ hug fest soona’ or later!” Champ looked to Ace now, confusion littering his eyes, “what didja do, Ace?” Champ asked softly. “I’LL tell ya what ‘e did!” Maestro finally turned to his brothers and pointed a finger at Ace specifically, “HE’S STEPPIN’ AWAY! LEAVIN’ US IN THE DARK! He cares too much about the damned boss than the rest of us!” “Well, do I got much choice?! You’re all mopin’ and so damned miserable that not even I can fix your sorry asses!” Ace shouted back, his voice cracking while his tears started to spill.

Champ’s gloved hand covered his mouth in shock, now believing his younger brother. Maestro huffed and looked over his brother for moment, and began to open his mouth- “I can’t HELP but like this place more than you! ‘Spite rememb’rin’ all we’ve been through, I wanna move on!” Tears stained Ace’s cheeks, but there were more in Champ’s eyes. Ace pounded on his own chest and continued, “My heart hurts, Maestro! I don’t know how much I can take this anymore! I don’t know how long it’ll be before I end my own goddamn LIFE ‘cause of this mis’ry!” Ace’s voice wavered and cracked as he wiped the snot from his nose, “Surely, you’d want me alive n’ happy somewhere, then dead ‘n a ditch…?”

The elder brother looked to the floor, then Ace. If any of them touched any part of Maestro’s body, especially his face, it would be as hot as magma in a skillet. Maestro shivered and growled inhumanly, “get out… “ “W-what?” Uttered Champ, shaking in his shoes. “I sAID GET OUT!” Screamed Maestro, his knuckles white now. As Ace stepped back, Maestro stepped forward, waving his fist in front of him. “And don’tchu EVER, EVER LET ME SEE YOUR FACE IN HERE AGAIN, YOU HEAR ME?” The elder brother’s vision went red, and Ace flung his hands up in front of his own face, flinching as the fist came down, expecting it to land on him.

After a moment of caution, Ace looked up at his hands and was surprised to find no marks. What…? He looked over to his brother, whose fist was enclosed in another’s hand. When Ace tilted his head, he saw his oldest brother, Doyen, with a bandaged wrapped firmly around his crown and his poofy pompadour split in two. He must’ve been listenin’ from outside... The youngest brother shook in fear as Doyen shoved Maestro’s fist away and say some incomprehensible gibberish to his brothers. Ace couldn’t hear a word, he was so shook with fear. After a second of panting dissociation, he heard his name sounded by a deep voice.

“Ace.” Doyen spoke, his hand on the open door. The youngest brother looked between the panic-stricken Champ, the raging Maestro, and finally on Doyen. His oldest brother was usually the strongest, most stoic of the bunch. He always made things better, and gave them hope… This, however, was not the case. When Doyen looked at Ace, he saw nothing but loss. Ace shivered, and walked toward the door, silently and slowly. He didn’t dare look back. Not once.

After a minute or so of walking about, Ace finally tucked in his tie, buttoned up his shirt, and clasped together his vest. He made his way to the bar, stiffly ordering a strong whiskey, and downing it in one go. The people around him buzzed with excitement, alcohol in their veins and risking their lives like it isn’t theirs to risk. When Ace looked around, all he could see were suckers. A pang of guilt hit him in the heart, If a ditch it is… a ditch it’ll be. He ordered one more whiskey, making that 2, and drank.

“Feelin’ low, Hearts?” Dice said, out of nowhere. The tall man leaned himself on the wood counter, eyeing his employee curiously. Ace only nodded, “I did it, boss.” “Did what?” Dice replied, catching a serious glare from Ace. The manager looked at him for a moment before chuckling softly, “sorry, Hearts. I was only teasin’ ya… But maybe that’s not what you want right now. Amiright?” Ace sighed, but then that sigh turned heavier, and then into fits of sobs. The boy covered his head to shield himself from his bosses prying eyes, his body shivering and emitting soft hiccups.

“Oh, Hearts,” said Dice, “Don’t you cry, you’re betta than that! In fact…” The man pulled out a white hankey from his coat pocket and nudged it to Ace, who quietly took it and wiped his eyes. “Why don’t you prove it to ‘em? I seen them two boys come in here with the intent to knab their souls back, and I gotta plan to make ‘em regret ever comin’...” Ace looked up at Dice, what’s he on about? “You’re whacky, boss,” he sniffed, “Those brats walloped my brotha’s, ya think I can do any damage to ‘em?” “I do.” Said Dice, “Y’know why I think so? Because you’re more capable than all y’brotha’s combined, y’got that? Ain’t nobody can touch you.”

For the past few months since the two had spoken, Dice had found himself becoming more accustomed to Ace. His mannerisms, his diction, his point of view… It was all so fascinating to Dice. Because it was so familiar. Running away from something that made him feel so lost was so real for Dice, and while Ace has him, Dice never had anybody. “Tell y’what--You help me finish off those boys and I’ll give ya someplace to stay. I imagine those brotha’s ‘a yours won’t letcha stay with them no more, right?” Ace nodded in response, rising from his seat and wiping away any remaining tears. Dice held out his hand, “Come with me, and you’ll finally get your freedom.”

This time, Ace had no problem reaching for his hand. What did he have to lose?

[theonetrueblue1]

Portal portal meets camp camp

Ava/blue: Sudden thought. What if the crossover between camp camp and portal portal went the other way around?? Pp!max who is in the middle of trying to fight daniel. Daniel causes a major malfunction with the portals. Next thing Pp!max knows he is finally outside. But just, pp!max being mistaken for cc!max trying to run away?? But the other campers are like, “Your clothes?? What is that strange device you’re holding? You look like max but you havent yelled at us yet?? wHO ARE YOU?? Cc!gwen finds pp!max and drags him to camp (he appeared a little bit away from it). Ollie: Poor pp!max has no clue what the hell is going on. Onyx: Being forcefully grabbed and dragged away seems awfully familiar…. Ava/blue: Pp!max is just internally screaming. Onyx: oooohh no! He isnt even sure about cc!gwen since she hasnt casted herself in a very positive light. Ava/blue: poor pp!max is AMAZED and SHOCKED that he is outside. Be he is also freaking terrified. Onyx: of course kinda predispositioned to behave around david. But gwen is a new factor entirely! Ava/blue: its so many people at once. Plus the unwanted touch and OTHER HUMANS?????? Plus the emotional mess that is having to fight A GIANT ROBOT THAT WANTS TO KILL YOU. Pp!max is on the verge of a emotional and mental breakdown. Someone save him pls. Onyx: oh god if he hasn’t broken down already he definitely is right now. Of course since this is cc!david’s first interaction he’ll probably try to physically comfort pp!max but it makes it 100X worse. Ava/blue: ABSOLUTELY. //IMMEDIATELY FLASHBACKS TO ALL THE TIMES PP!DAVID HAS TRIED TO ‘HELP’ MAX Onyx: of course there is no moonrock floor to use the portal gun on so, and they are probably in a cabin. So there is no immediate escape. Ava/blue: pp!max would probably kick all their asses if he wasn’t a mess rn. Onyx: like a caged animal tbh. Ava/blue: id imagine that the cc!crew would realize that what their doing isn’t working. Ollie: AWWWWWWW Onyx: since he’s been fighting for survival since day one Ava/blue: so they give him space. Onyx: gwen would probably notice first tbh, psychology major? Ava/blue:^^^ YEP Ollie: YES Onyx: manhandles cc!david to back off and everyone else is just kinda standing there dumbfounded. Ava/blue: everyone wont stop staring at pp!max and its starting to make him uncomfortable. Onyx: probably cant stop looking at him because he shouldn’t be there Ava/blue: how much you wanna bet pp!max is covered in scars? Ollie: watch pp!max not even talk, but make small noises instead. Onyx: probably even snarls. Ollie: HAHA ohmygod he goes to base animalistic instincts and growls. They’d DEFINITELY know its not their max by then. They’d sooner think he and nikki traded bodies. Onyx: anything to look threatening to these people he has no idea how to interact with. Ollie: what if like. Nikki is the one to calm him down? Ava/blue: OH MY GOD YES. Ollie: because she has the whole interspecies communication thing. And can probably communicate beyond words. Onyx: use submissive gestures to get her point across that she means no harm. Ollie: HAHA she gets on the ground and rolls over Onyx: no teeth baring Ava: Nikki is just like, step aside. I GOT THIS. Ollie: D'AWWWWW Onyx: since our poor bean hasn’t really seen smiles save for those that literally brought them pain. He just doesn’t understand human facial expression that well. Ollie: Nikki keeps her mouth closed when she smiles and after max warms up to her she goes to gently touch his arm. He pulls away uncertain.. Onyx: because teeth baring in literally any other species means a threat gesture. Ollie: and she just nods and does it again and he sits there, taking in the she’s touching him, and he slowly calms down. Ava/blue: nikki eventually softly hugs him. Ollie: Y E S Onyx: and it isn’t hurting and he can get away Ollie: YEAH she totally demonstrates that he can break away first. Onyx: lotta failed attempts before this of him shying away and putting distance between them, nikki lets him. Ollie: and she yells at the campers who start to circle Ava/blue: cc!nikki and pp!max is a brotp i didn’t know i needed until now Onyx: they give him a separate tent to retreat to. Its empty, no one allowed in without permission since god knows this kid wasn’t allowed boundaries before. Ollie: He’s comforted by nature because you know, too much technology. So he takes walks into the forest with nikki Onyx: brings back all sorts of leaves and stuff back to his tent. Ollie:!!!!!!!! So he and nikki have a need for nature that’s so cute Onyx: he might even obsess over texture since he’s used to smooth white walls. Ava/blue: tbh i highkey headcannon that pp!max tends to cradle his right arm, because he’s so used to carrying a portal gun. Ollie: ^^^^^ BOTH OF THESE THINGS Onyx: different leaves, pieces of bark and stones all litter the inside of his tent. Ollie:… guys Onyx: he likes to pick them up randomly to just examine and feel them. Ollie:…………guys Onyx: yeah? Ava/blue: yes? Ollie: when he finally decides to let nikki on she’s COMPLETELY HONORED. Onyx: oh yes!! Ollie: like her eyes get all wide and starry. Onyx: she probably makes an effort not to touch anything tho. Wants to establish that it is his stuff and he doesn’t have to share it. Ollie: BUT HE DOES GIVER HER THINGS. HE DROPPS THINGS INTO HER HANDS Onyx: that it wont be taken away from him….. like mr.honeynuts. Ava/blue: awww because he never really got to have things of his own!! Personal belongings are nonexistent in aperture science. Onyx: David might try to get him nice blankets and stuff. Nikki might actually tell him or he might notice that he likes different textures. Ollie: AWWWWW! Im a sucker for hurt/comfort so like. Cc!David hurting for pp!max and trying to keep his distance so he doesn’t make him uncomfortable. And just being sad and asking nikki about him all the time. Onyx: i’d imagine pp!max would favor really fluffy stuff like fleece. Ava/blue: HE LOVES SOFT THINGS. Ollie: YEAH SOFT AAA, he’s never felt a soft! What is a soft? Ava/blue: EVERYTHING AT APERTURE IS EITHER SMOOTH OR ROUGH (debris) Onyx: FLEECE PJS, also they might try to get pp!max new clothes. No more nasty jumpsuit. Ollie: the first thing they try to do is get him a camper outfit Onyx: he might even view it similarly to a jumpsuit Ava/blue: his jumpsuit must be so dirty. IT HAS BEEN QUITE SOME TIME SINCE THIS BOY WAS CLEANED Onyx: because it has a logo, and its practically mandatory to wear it. Over half the campers wear it. So he might wear it at first, but starts to piece it together as being a uniform. Ava/blue: ok but, nikki and gwen slowly helping pp!max talk. And gwen figuring out what happened to pp!max through what little he speaks about it. And, what’s mentally and emotionally wrong with him. Onyx: and scars Ava/blue: they notice the scars early on. Onyx: this bean needs a full on fleece pj set tho. He is wearing cloths. They might notice worser ones underneath. Ava/blue: some scars are too clean looking (lazers) some are from bullets a few from being nearly killed. Onyx: burns Ava/blue: He’s definitely covered on bruises and cuts as well. Onyx: acid is a hazard, he might have almost fallen a few times. Ava/blue: absolutely!! There is no way to get through many tests without trial and error Daisy: omg i love this….. what is cc!david’s first reaction to the scars? Ava/blue: OH GOD HE WOULD BE HORRIFIED Onyx: maybe whimper Ava/blue: so many scars on such a small child Onyx: probably paralyzed by so many past wounds. Daisy: AWWWWWWMAXX Ava/blue: I feel like they would be wondering what would cause a child to act so feral and wild towards others and when they see the scars its just…….. ‘Oh’ Onyx: how do you think pp!max would react to the actual lake? The only large bodies of liquid he’s seen literally melt skin and bones. Daisy: i wonder if max would super freaked out by people seeing his scars or just he’s so used to them. Ava/blue: second option. He’s a lab rat essentially so he is definitely used to it. Ollie: OH! He’s not used to others not being used to the scars. So they all gasp and step back a little and he tilts his head in confusion. Onyx: he thinks there is something else wrong with him, i’d figure. Did he not do a good job? Did he break a rule? Daisy: He sees them and he’s like ”……where’s your scars?“ Onyx: when he gets somewhat past being touched he might check nikki closer for scars. Ollie: and she has none and he starts to sense something is up. Onyx: Pushing up her sleeves, closely examining sections of skin for lasting damage. Ollie: AWWW thought lets be honest, its NIKKI, she has SOME scars. Onyx: but nothing like his. No too clean ones no acid burns. And most are relatively small and faded. Ava/blue: pp!max’s scars are so much more fresh. Onyx: do you think the labs were sterile? Ava/blue: i would think so. Onyx: hell he might be getting infections when he meets the cc!crew Ava/blue: OH LIKE THE OLD LABS AND STUFF? BECAUSE HE WOULD DEFINITELY GET INFECTIONS DOWN THERE. Onyx: cuts without access to medical supplies? Ollie: OH NO Onyx: the laser wounds might not be as bad since they were cauterized. Ava/blue: no access to medical supplies and no one to help him. Onyx: he’d suddenly just feel so sick and not understand whats going on. Ollie: and it’s like a time urgent thing so nikki has a lot of pressure to get his trust because they have to treat the wounds. Onyx: god. Imagine how he’d react to his body fighting the infection! Pus in wounds is something he hasn’t seen before and doesn’t know it’s a natural reaction. Redness that gets worse and swelling that doesn’t go down. Ava/blue: he would be so terrified Onyx: dizziness, he literally thinks he is dying and could honestly be on the path to it. Ollie: and then right when he trusts Nikki, she has to start treating him. And what is this liquid she is putting on his arm?? WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH??? WHY IS NIKKI HURTING HIM?? Onyx: he’d probably collapse due to dehydration because of his fever. Fever fucks with your system, makes you really dehydrated. Ollie: ok but what if he and nikki have a COMPLETELY non-verbal argument. Like, he’s angry with her and shoving her away and she acts super submissive but then she gets angry too. And eventually she grabs him roughly by the arm and gestures to it. And he looks at it and realizes that he is healing. Onyx: he isn’t as sick he feels better. Daisy: AND HES SO SURPRISED “they…. they dont look the same.” Onyx: heck he probably has crap immune system being in a mostly sterile lab. Ollie: and he slowly looks back at her and she softly touches his arm just like the beginning. Daisy: And she smiles “Their getting better max. We’re going to help you feel better!” Ollie: oh fuck i just got a REALLY longwinded storyline. Ava/blue: TELL US OLLIE Daisy: OHOHOHOHO Ollie: my brain just fucking completed a plot. Ok so like…

After a while he gets to know all the campers, they all understand how to gesture and understand him, david being the last of all. He slowly learns to separate GLaDOS david from cc!david. They get an understanding and he learns about all their personalities and they become close with him, but we’ve been forgetting about the other max. He’s in a lot of trouble at the facility. PP!max reveals more and more about the facility and everyone at camp becomes more worried then ever, guessing that is where CC!max is. They’re eventually able to put the facts together and nikki IMMEDIATELY starts a rescue mission to save cc!max. She’s about to go without pp!max, but in the last moment he grabs her arm, like she did for him and nods. She gives him a pointed look like “Are you sure?” He sighs reluctantly and squeezes her arm and she smiles. Ava/blue: (does pp!max still have his portal gun?) Ollie: (he could! It wouldn’t change the story i have in mind!)

When they get there, pp!max is their only navigator. He knows exactly where cc!max is being tested. The campers are there, using those crazy talents of theirs to pass through. But things get tough and eventually pp!max has to take the lead. He starts using what he has learned about the campers’ personalities against their respective turrets. He’s able to defeat their counterparts. Because he knows them. Onyx:(god how horrified the others would feel when they meet their doubles.) ollie: (HAHAH RIGHT.)

And he eventually gets to where cc!max is. He’s screaming at pp!david, as pp!daid is trying to talk to him and break his spirit. “But Max, this is good for you! For us! For all of us? R i gHt??!!” /zaps/ Pp!max drops down to the floor in front of pp!david and cc!max. Pp!david: “You’re back!! Oh wonderful!” Pp!max glares at him, and then boss battle ensues. The campers try to help but it is ultimately pp!max vs pp!david. Daisy: (AND EVERYONE IS CONCERNED FOR BOTH OF THE MAX) Ollie: though cc!David ends up in the fight. Onyx: (cc!david would feel like absolute shit.) Ollie: cc!David and everyone go and comfort cc!max while the portal portal two fight. Ava/blue: (EVERYONE FEEL SHIT SINCE THEIR ROBOT COUNTERPARTS HAD A HAND IN THIS) Onyx: (BUT DAVID WOULD FEEL THE WORST) Ava/blue: (HE WOULD) Daisy: (OMG DAVID WOULD FEEL SO B A D) Ollie: eventually pp!max is able to defeat pp!david through something he learned about cc!david only when he was able to open up to him. Which in a way is unnerving to Cc!david but he’s also touched that pp!max?? Actually listened to him?? But in the last second as the facility is falling to pieces pp!max gets stuck under debris as the others are escaping. And as if it were a final act to solidify the trust, cc!david frees him and carries him to safety. The first time he’s actually made contact. And then towards the end of it all, pp!max is now back at the camp with the others and cc!max is now traumatized much like the other max was, all the other campers go to help him and offer comforting words. But pp!max just waves them all off, he gestures to cc!max in a sort of “come on lets take a walk in the woods” way. The end.

EXTRA!!!!!!

Ollie: imagine like- cc!david able to give lectures to his portal self. OHMYGOD WHAT ABOUT CC!DAVID WORRYING HE MIGHT BECOME HIS PORTAL SELF. Ava/blue: OH M Y G OD Ollie: “kids… im not… ignoring your needs am I?? Am-am I overworking you with activities?? Y-You know what?! Break time… no activities today” //hugs arms and walks into the counselor cabin. Ava/blue: OOOOHHHHH GWEN WOULD TOTALLY COMFORT HIM!! Ollie: AWWWWWW Ava/blue: pp!max would definitely talk to david eventually as well. “becaUSE FIRST OF ALL. YOU’RE ALREADY BETTER THEN HIM BY WORRYING. second of all YOU’RE HUMAN. SO YOU ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT HUMANS NEED TO LIVE. third of all, NONE OF THESE ACTIVITIES ARE INTENTIONALLY LIFE THREATENING. Fourth of all, YOU’RE HUMAN. mistakes are meant to be made!!” Even pp!max understands this. Ollie: AWWWWWWWWW Ava/blue: THIS IS LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF THE SEASON 1 FINALE. MAX MAKES DAVID FEEL BETTER. INSTEAD OF MAKING DAVID FEEL BAD AND SEE REALITY. IN THIS CASE. PP!MAX IS TRYING TO MAKE DAVID TO FEEL BETTER AND SEE REALITY. /OH THAT PARALLELS ARE BEAUTIFUL/ Ollie:OWNXOWMXAOXKDNOXNWOXNAOZ AWWWWW.

AFTER TWO DAYS. I FINALLY. GOT THAT WHOLE DAMN CONVERSATION WRITTEN DOWN. @portalportalau HERE YOU GO EVERYONE WHO WAS CURIOUS ABOUT WHAT WE CAME UP WITH!! THIS WAS FOR ALL YOU LOVELY PEOPLE ❤

[mndcvntrvl]

02 | The Weekend [part i.]

you ready bih? @rebellesixx (i pray this chapter is decent bc omg)

FRIDAY, APRIL 3RD

The sweet smell of coffee floated around me. Colombian grinded beans wafted into my nose, causing me to wrinkle up my face. I let my eyes follow the bodies of people walking passed me through the Plexiglas. Sunlight seeped right in front of my table in a crooked line—catching my attention whenever Maria would step in it.

“Hey,” I called towards her. Her tiny body stopped and turned towards me with look of mischief. Those big, doll-like eyes looked dead at me, causing me to smile.

“Mama,” she asked, her hands clapped as she did so.

I smiled and waved her back towards our table. “Don’t walk around without me,” I told her, grabbing her hand and pulling into my lap.

We had gotten a booth. The tables around us weren’t suitable for children. High tops with small black, metal legs. But the booths were wide and roomy, enough for me to sit Maria in my lap or next to me if she got to grumpy.

A chime sounded to my right—eyes locked on the person. A smile littered their face as I watched them catch me cowering away behind my hand. When they arrived to our booth, they picked Maria up out of my lap.

“And how is my favorite princess?”

Nadia had wanted to meet up somewhere after last week’s mess. With me being at work and picking up Maria from daycare, and her working at the salon all the time, we had no time except for today. Even then, it would be cut short because Chaos wanted to see his niece and talk to me, again.

Maria gave her a babbled answer before saying, “princey!”

We laughed in unison.

“You been havin’ a good week,” she asked me, sitting down in front of me. Her hair had gotten longer so she struggled to keep her curls out of Maria’s face as she maneuvered and scooted into her seat.

I sighed, rolling my eyes with puckered lips. “Let’s talk about how I’m goin’ to New York in the next five hours.”

“Talia!” Maria jumped at her voice, causing us both to laugh before Nadia ranted on. “Didn’t you just get over one life crisis already? The hell you goin’ over there for?”

“Well excuse the hell outta’ me, I see somebody’s in need of some coffee,” I scrunched up my face as I handed her a menu lying next to me. Her eyes glared at me before she snatched it and began to scan through it. With a childish grin, I pointed at new flavor on the menu. “Try the Belize Cappuccino.”

Nadia tried her hardest not to roll her eyes and give me a scowl as she started to take interest in the tropical advertisement of the drink, but soon failing when she finally looked at me. It never failed; trying to distract her is about the easiest thing to do. Between her and Maria I believe she had the quickest attention span of a fly, which is probably why she’s always trying ‘pay attention’. It never works though. Her eyes scanned mine; I busted out in a slight cackle.

“You not one ounce of shit,” Nadia noted, pointing her neon pink acrylic at me. I ceased my laughter, watching her through tear filled eyes as she gave me her infamous death glare.

“Remind me to do this more often.” I rubbed my eyes and took a glance at my phone. A text from my dad popped up—something unlike him.

“Why you makin’ that face,” at the sound of her question I looked up.

“Huh? Oh,” I shook my head and replied,

“Nah, my dad texted me—“she cut me off.

“Mr. Ramos can text?!”

“It’s Mr. Williams, and yes,” I answered, shaking my head once more. “It’s just an abnormal thing for him to do.”

“He must be excited to see you and the little one, ya know?”

I paused. My eyes never leaving my phone.

“Weeelllll about that…”

When I finally grew the courage to look at her, the face she gave me was priceless. Mouth agape, eyes wide—she gave Maria a look over before doing a double take at the both of us.

“You aren’t taking her? Uh,” she smacked her lips, “may I ask for the fuck why?”

“Stop cussin’ in front of my baby.”

She sucked her teeth, “answer the question Talia.”

I sighed before putting my phone back on the table. A waitress came to our table, my eyes pleading with her to stay just for a while—anything to distract Nadia.

“My I get your order ma’am,” the waitress asked her, pulling out her notepad. She was a cute girl, shorter than me with tawny skin and curly hair. “We have two new flavors, the Belize and Hawaiian Cappuccino.”

Nadia glared at me before giving the waitress a warm smile. “Uhm, I’d like to try the Belize Cappuccino please, hold the whip cream,” she finished, handing her the menu. When the waitress walked away, her eyes were back on me. “Now explain.”

“Chaos wanted to watch her this week, but you know how day care is set up and all that, soo I told him he could watch her for the weekend,” I explained, wincing up my face as if it would help me from any of her backlash.

“Does he know you’re goin’ to New York? A whole thirty billion miles away?”

“It is not that far, and he’s her uncle I’m pretty sure he can handle it.”

“Has even taken care of kids before?”

I sighed. “How would I know Nadia? All I know is that I’m trusting him with his niece for two whole days.”

“And you see no problem in that?”

“He said he was free this weekend, Nadia.”

“The streets don’t know what bein’ free for the weekend is,” I had to pause and gather myself when I heard that come out of her mouth because she was serious. Legit serious. It was taking everything in me to not fall out on the floor.

“You a trip,” I shook my head, pointing my index at her. “Dad wants me to come up there for the weekend and help someone’s PR team come up with some designs for some merch.”

“Extra guap?”

I nodded, taking a sip out of my latte. “I don’t know who it is tho’, that’s what’s killin’ me. Like how am I supposed to have an idea of what I wanna do if I don’t know who it is?”

 “It could be because he don’t know himself.”

“Nadia, this is my father we’re talkin’ about.”

She paused before nodding her head. “True.”

“See,” I pointed out. “I just want everything to go smoothly and quickly. My baby gon’ be all by herself,” I pouted, looking over a day-dreaming Maria.

She looked so much like Christian it was downright disgusting. It was like he chewed her up and spit her out, ugh, I hated it. Those same, droopy lips and doll-like eyes paired along with those bushy eyebrows—it was like looking at his twin. They both even have this weird birthmark right above their bellybutton and the same two beauty marks on their ankles.

I miss him so much, I thought to myself.

“You could’ve just took her with you, but,” she shrugged her shoulders and flipped her hair over her shoulders. With wide eyes, she smashed her lips together and looked down at the table.  

“You shady ass,” I laughed, picking up a wadded up napkin and throwing it at her.

She scrunched her face and threw it back at me. With a sly smirk, she looked at my phone before asking,

“Now it would make sense if it was because of Mister Black Pyramid himself, because honey chile’,” she poked out her lips and started snapping.

“Snap,” Maria asks, snapping out of the little day-dream she was in. Nadia nods.

“Mhm, snap ‘cause yo mama bouta’ get that pip—“I cut her off by throwing more wadded up napkins at her.

“Shh! You corruptin’ my baby,” I rushed out in a whisper, looking around the quiet café before turning back to her with a scowl. “It’s not even like that, oh mah’ god, Nadia it was a year ago—it wasn’t even like that!”

“But he was diggin’ you,” she replied, smugly, her nails tapped against the cherry wood table as her lips smashed together.

“And who’s to say he wasn’t? But nothin’ happened so…”

“Now let’s be honest if you was single you woulda’ been bouncin’ all—“

“And here is your Belize Cappuccino miss,” the waitress caught us both off guard as she plopped the giant blue glass down in front of Nadia.

“Uh,” astonished at the amount of whipped cream it had, Nadia nodded at the waitress uttering a, “thanks,” before waiting for her to walk away.

“Do you swallow or spit,” I asked, my lips forming a coy smirk.

Her eyes rose from the cup to meet mine—her eyebrows raised as her mouth opened. She pulled her head back and placed a hand on her chest before giving me the same smirk back.

“Hasn’t Chris asked you that already?”

“See this what we not gonna do,” I mused, grabbing my purse. “You know good and well I don’t see anybody like that.”

She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her drink. “But if that right person comes along then you betta’ hop on it,” she said in between sips of her drink.

“Can I at least get over Christian first,” I asked, “I can’t just hop on to someone like that, and you know that.

“I’m not sayin’ it like that, I just wanna see you happy.” She pointed at Maria. “She makes you happy, no?”

“Duh, it’s my child.” I rolled my eyes. “Of course she makes me happy.”

“Okay, well I wanna see you happy with someone else besides her,” she said, shifting Maria in her lap as though she were heavy.

“I wanna be happy period,” I replied. I scooted towards the end of the booth, rising from my seated position, stretching. “Listen, I know you’re lookin’ out for me, but I got some things to get through first, okay?”

“You know I want you to be happy, no matter what.”

“I know. Now gimme my child so I can head to this old man’s house.”

 The ride over to Chaos’ wasn’t too long. He said he had moved to a new area two years ago. The scenery wasn’t its usual tenet buildings and corner stores but more elaborate fresh markets and name-brand gas stations. Especially the people who lived here—white, but middle class white, like the ones who could afford to shop at Target and not get the off brand things.

His house was over in Glen Lake, a condominium with houses that could have well been mansions. He told me he lived on Jordan Street, way far in the back—and when he said way far back, he really meant it.

It wasn't a mansion, or a penthouse. But a traditional styled home, like one you'd see off of TV.

The exterior of the house alone held many architectural details, giving it this cozy facade but inside it was the total opposite. Its rock stone material was a beige color while the roof was bluish-grey.

From here you could see the blue curtains draped over the windows, making it impossible to see inside and beside the house was an attached garage. Chaos wasn’t subtle with his cars, he had them all out to see—even the fancy ones he knew he wouldn’t dare drive.

I had texted him that I was parked out front. His only response was to, ‘come on in’.

But I was nervous. It had been awhile since I had walked inside of his home. Yeah it was three years ago in a different area, when we were all in a different space in our lives, but now it just gives me butterflies. Here I am, with his niece walking up to his brand new house with a brand new batch of possibilities waiting for me on the other side of the door.

That’s when I can hear Christian in the back of head saying, “you’ll live, now stop bein’ scary and go do it.”

I stood at the door with a sleeping Maria in my hands. Her sleeping bag and baby bag were in both of my hands; my only option was to ring his doorbell. After a few minutes of not getting a response, I believe my finger permanently stayed on his doorbell until I got a very loud, “hold on! Shit!”

“Who the fu—“lo and behold, the man himself snatches the door open, his face reading irritation until he drops his gaze to the sleeping baby in my arms. “Oh shit,” he whispers, leaning down and taking her out of my arms. “Why you ain’t just call me?”

I nodded down to the bags in my hand, then pointing at Maria. “What could I have grabbed my phone with, my toes?”

He sucked his teeth. “You still mean.” He noted. He stepped to the side, opening the door more. “Come in, the couch is right behind me. You can put all that shit on there.”

I did as he said. Looking around, I noticed the place was really neat and organized—something out of character for Chaos, but then again, it’s been a few since I’ve last seen him.

“The place looks nice,” I complimented, hearing a door close behind me, I turned around and smiled up at him. “The black and gold color scheme suits you.”

“The black and gold color scheme really suits you,” he flipped imaginary hair over his shoulder as he mimicked me, making me flip him off. It only fueled the fire in which was indeed, Chaos. “What else are you gonna tell me? My beard brings out the color in my eyes?”

I cocked my head to the side, squinting my eyes at him. “Well if you trimmed it a lil’ on the sides—“

“Kitchen. Go, now.”

“What about Maria? Lay her down on the couch,” I said, reaching my hands out for her. “Gimme.”

After I laid her down, the walk to his kitchen was quick. It was the room over from the living room we were in. Victorian like drapes hung from the grand window in front of the sink. In the middle was the island, black marble sat atop with gold flecks in it. The cabinets were all matte black with gold handles and knobs. Chaos had positioned himself near the sink, back against it with his legs in front of him.

“You hungry?”

I shook my head, sitting on the barstool adjacent to the island. “No, we ate before we came, but thank you. Now what is it that we so desperately need to talk about?”

“Why you say it like that?” he asked, leaning back more to place his elbows on the counter. “I just wanted to know where you gon’ be at, damn, I can’t eem’ do that?”

I laughed, looking down at my hands. “Nah, I thought it was gon’ be somethin’ serious, but my father wants to see me.”

“And you not takin’ lil bit?”

For whatever reason I couldn’t tell him that my father’s only seen pictures of her. Or gotten the occasional Face Time and one on one with her. Nadia doesn’t even know that and she’s the one who knows everything; even before I know it. Plus I already have enough explaining to do when I get over there, I didn’t feel like doing it now.

“No,” I muttered, leaning forward in my chair. “I’m gonna be busy… as well as he is, so there’d be no time, really.”

“So you tellin’ me…” he started, pushing himself off of the counter all while walking over to me. “Yo daddy ain’t go nobody, family, or nothin’ to watch her while you there n’ shit?”

“Do you not wanna watch her?”

“Now did I say that? Nah I was just askin’ ‘cause I know he’d probably wanna spend time wit’ his granddaughter. Ain’t you got some family up there too?”

“Just my father and his mom. So nah, because she lives all the way in Long Island, plus it would just be a hassle to do multiple things at once and watch her.”

“So you just goin’ up there for the weekend? No loungin’ wit Robyn or nun’?”

Shaking my head at his Robyn comment, I let out a chuckle and placed my hands on the counter.

“One, Robyn is not at all in New York. She’s doing something with Puma this month so she’s across the country. And two, yes, just for the weekend to work on some merchandise for this celebrity, probably some simple graphics and sketches. Before you ask, no, I don’t know,” I finished, placing my hands together and bringing them closer to my chest.

“Okay… You excited to go? See ya peeps’ n’ shit.” he raised an eyebrow as he drummed his fingers on the counter, causing me to narrow my eyes at his fingers; an action that made him slowly stop.

“Eh, it’s just for work so I can’t be overly excited, ya know? Not like I’m gonna be goin’ out n’ shit,” I unclasped my hands to wave one off in the air before intertwining them back together. “If that’s all you wanted to know then… anything else you wanna talk about?”

Our eye contact was very sporadic, it would break and rejoice. In this one moment, we rejoiced, catching the looks of nervousness and nostalgia all in one before breaking it again.

“You seein’ anybody?”

When I tell you I almost lost a lung in this man’s kitchen, I was hacking away. I’m pretty sure I scared him, only because he got me a glass of water and damn near forced me to drink it all until I calmed down.

As I regulated my breathing, I raised an eyebrow at him. “Where the hell did that question come from?”

“It was just a question, I ain’t mean anything by it.”

“Well…” I hesitated. For the life of me I don’t why I did. I bit my bottom lip and shook my head. “No, I haven’t really been in the head space to even think about anyone else.”

I miss my baby. Three years without him feels like it’s been thirty. I get so wrapped up in my thoughts about him that I can’t seem to think about anybody else. If I’m not thinking about him, it’s Maria, and if not her, the possibility of them being together in this sad, depressive fantasy I always have of him actually being here.

In my hesitation, my mind raced a mile of minute. The question being bestowed upon me made me feel some type of way. One, I didn’t know where the question could be coming from. It could have been coming from a curious state or one trying to barge into my life. And two, coming from my lover’s brother, it makes me feel like I’m being ridiculed for even thinking about somebody else.

“So you haven’t even tried to find somebody,” he asked, toying with the empty glass I left on the counter. “Not even a date?”

“Where is all of this comin’ from Chaos? No… I still catch myself wanting to text him when he’s coming over for movie night, for Christ sakes. How am I gonna even have the time to go on a date when I’m too busy watching a child? Do you hear how dumb you sound when you ask that question,” I took in a deep breath when I realized how fast I was talking. It didn’t hit me that I had started to tear up, until I wiped at my left eye and saw a wet mark on my index.

I hadn’t realized I wasn’t looking at him either; my hands were in my gaze until I forced myself to stare at him.

His hands were up in a defensive state as he shook his head. “I was just askin’ lil bit, I ain’t mean to make you upset or nun’.”

I shook my head and swiped a hand down my face, all I could do was sigh and close my eyes for a second before popping them back open.

“Listen,” I said, “it’s not your fault… I’m sorry for calling you dumb. I’m just going through some things right now.”

“You know you can always talk to me.” He opened his arms. “Now c’mere, you big ass baby.”

“I ain’t no baby,” I retorted. I rose from the barstool, and walked over to him before getting engulfed in his long arms. “Let me go kiss my baby goodbye, I gotta go get my stuff.”

  I had never been in my apartment by myself for this long. Maria was either at day-care or Nadia’s around this time. I was usually at work, getting ready to go on my lunch break with this girl named Paula. She had recently transferred from a graphics company from Minnesota and instantly fit right in. It had only been a week or so before we introduced ourselves and by the next week, we had established lunch dates together.

After that I’d head back to work for three more hours. Probably finishing up a web design or doing some clothing mock-ups for a local business.

And still—that sounds way better than sitting in my apartment until one o’clock.

When I got in, I knocked right out. I mean sprawled out on my couch, legs all over the place with my head hanging halfway off for a good hour. Still, I woke up and realized I had two more hours to spare so in good efforts to not end up in a rut, I pulled out my laptop and opened up Photoshop and Illustrator.

When I initially started working with the thought of being a graphic designer, I always thought of it to be an odd job. Especially with few women in the field, it made me question it even more. But as I got older, I grew to have a love for computers and art. Problem: I couldn’t draw; but I took a summer course my junior year of high school on Graphic Communications and got taught the true meaning of being a graphic designer.

With months of practicing and training, by the time I was sixteen I had a certification in three Adobe Programs: Photoshop, Illustrator, and InDesign. My first ever job in graphics was working at this rinky dink store in lower east Manhattan called Dan’s Shirts where you could get anything design you wanted on a shirt; literally. If I wasn’t making the designs, I was screen-printing them all. Once I hit the age of eighteen, I was working over in Brooklyn with a guy who made banners and signs; way more money coming in on that end. Still, I did side jobs for extra cash. Making flyers for parties, covers for mixtapes—I wasn’t well known, but I still was doing something I enjoyed.

Now I have a career out of it. I don’t have to hustle anymore to make ends meet. The life I have now is something I didn’t think I’d ever have when I was younger.

I didn’t think I’d even get this far when Christian disappeared.

So I thank the Lord everyday for blessing me with Maria because without her I wouldn’t be here nor busting my ass to provide her better life.

Are you proud of me? I thought to myself as I allowed my eyes to get adjusted to the bright screen.

My censor moved and clicked around, looking for files hidden in folders I hadn’t opened in weeks. When the name loverboy popped up, I clicked on it hastily. When it opened, five documents popped into Photoshop, each still the same as I left them.

Christian would let me practice my photography skills on him sometimes. It could be something as simple as an innocent selfie, or a full blown photo shoot at times. This particular set of photos was a photo shoot I had done with him in this vintage Cadillac… right before he went missing.

When he was still here, he said he wanted me to make him, “look like a Calvin Klein model.” So I let him pick where he wanted to be shot at and when we arrived at that car lot, I looked over at him with a skeptical look, asking him, “you wanna shoot… here?” It was in that moment I had never seen him so sure of something in his life.

We had only gotten up to five photos because it started raining. So I had no other photos to choose from nor edit—then he went missing. And the rest is history, until I catch myself staring at them and realizing how much he really meant to me.

I closed out the document.

Before I could start looking for old projects to work on, my phone dinged, causing me to dig it out of my pocket and look at it.

My eyes squinted at the unknown number. A chill ran down my spine as I looked around my dim living room. Only light on was the light coming from my kitchen above my stove. Other than that, my living room was only receiving light from the open blinds.

My hands were trembling as I shut my laptop and ran into my room. I don’t think I had even given myself time to breathe until I jumped square in the middle of my bed with my pocket knife in my hand.

I gripped my pocket knife tighter against my chest. My knees were pulled to my chest as I looked around my room nervously. It was like all of my senses were on ten; my ears were picking up on cars that probably weren’t even in front of my complex. Everything I touched felt ten times more real than what it was—I couldn’t process a single thought.

I didn’t even get a chance to send a second text.

“Oh hell no…” I mumbled, screenshoting the text thread before deleting it all together. My body shook, hands shaking as I tried to dial Nadia’s number before giving up with a cry of distress. Instead I just sent her the screen shots and prayed she’d respond telling me she was playing around with me or some shit.

My endless banging never ceased. The outside of my fist started to ache and turn beet red, but I never let up. I was in such a daze I had no idea how I even ended up back in front of this very door—but I knew I had a mission to plan and I needed answers.

“Yo, aye hol’ up—“his voice came from the other end until he snatched the door open. “Lil’ bit? Why you bac—“

I pushed right past him. Tunnel vision clouded me. All of my sensibilities and common sense had left an hour ago. Endless possibilities of murder and screaming filled every nerve in my body until I was forced to face it.

“Talia,” his voice rang in my ear, I could feel his hand touch my elbow.

I turned around to face him. The look of discomfort and confusion wiped across his face. His eyebrows were furrowed as he toyed with his bottom lip with his teeth, three wrinkles found there place on his forehead.

“Where is he Chris?”

My lips snarled up as he looked taken back.

“Who—wha—where is who?” he asked, scrunching up his face and shaking his head.

Snatching my phone from my back pocket, I unlocked it and shoved it right in his hands.

“Where the hell is he and don’t lie to me,” enclosing the space between us, I looked up at him and watched as his eyes scanned the thread. “Chris!”

“What?!” He yelled. His eyes scanned the thread once more as he stuck my phone back out to me. “I… I don’t know what to tell you Talia, that could be anybody.”

I shook my head, snatching my phone away from him “Oh shut the fuck up wit’ that lame ass excuse!”

“Who you getting’ buck wit’?” he asked, “’cause I know you ain’t ‘bout to act an ass while your child is here.”

In that moment, my eyes snapped over to the flat screen television flashing bright lights. Some kids show was on; but my eyes landed on Maria sitting in the middle of the floor surrounded by her toys—lost in the world of colors and shapes.

“Now we can take this in the kitchen.” He pointed at Maria. “See her? Ion’t think you want her to see you like that.”

“Ion’t think you wanna see what the hell is gon’ happen if you don’t tell me what the hell is goin’ on.” I cautioned. “Who else knows about him being missing Chris? Because as far as I know it’s only a few who really do.”

With a look over to Maria, Chaos grabbed my elbow and forced me into the kitchen with him. Upon entering, he roughly tore his hand away before placing a hand on my shoulder and shoving me towards the island.

With my left hand, I tore his hand off of me and took a step away.

“Do you know how crazy you sound right now?”

“Crazy?” I paused, gathering myself before I said anything stupid. “I got some random ass person stalkin’ me and tellin’ me Christian’s alive and you got the fuckin’ audacity my nigga to say that to me right now?” I asked, “Do you know how crazy you sound right now?”

He rolled his eyes, mashing his lips together. “Talia that’s not the point, you takin’ it—“I cut him off.

“I ain’t takin’ nothin’ out of context Chris, facts is facts, and the fact is that someone is lyin’ to me!”

“Who?” he yelled. “You ain’t think I’m wonderin’ where this shit comin’ from too?”

“You sure as hell ain’t actin’ like it!”

“If I knew who this was, my brother woulda’ been back by now,” he smacked his hands on the counter. “Stop makin’ it seem like you the only one lost, ‘cause I don’t know shit either!”

I paused. Speechless—I had nothing left to say. My anger had gotten the best of me and it resulted in me not thinking clearly on what exactly I wanted to say.

“See?” he pointed at me. “Jumpin’ to conclusions n’ shit, stop doin’ that shit.”

“How Chris?” I retorted back, banging my fist on the counter. “One minute I’m chillin’ on my couch and the next I’m getting’ told my boyfriend is still alive and that I’m basically bein’ lied too, now c’mon, what you want me to do? Be rational? ‘Cause being rational ain’t getting’ me nowhere, now is it?”

“Ain’t nobody sayin’ you gotta do anything, but stop thinkin’ everybody know what’s goin’ on.”

“We were the only people who knew he went missin’! How the hell am I not gon’ think you niggas don’t know what’s goin on?” He rolled his eyes at that, smacking his lips before retorting with,

“Because we don’t!”

Time stopped right there for me. The feeling of defeat wrapped me in a blanket made from anger and I let it suffocate me. I let the suffocation of anger and fear fill my chest as I weighed down my options of either, arguing more, or, letting the situation rock because it was now out of my control.  

“Bullshit…” I mumbled, shaking my head. “Listen, I just—I don’t know anymore.” My mouth slowly closed as I ran a hand through my hair. Chest rising up and down, I brought both hands together and intertwined my fingers.

“Don’t you gotta be at the airport?”

I snapped my head up in his direction before putting my gaze back on my hands.

“Yeah,” I answered, unlocking my hands and palming the counter under them.

I had a bitter taste in my mouth. My eyes threatened to leak—but I wasn’t going to do that. I wouldn’t allow him to see me break as such. Anger had me in its grip and I knew I needed to leave before I resorted into my hands speaking for me.

Shaking my head, I pushed my body away from the counter and without another word walked out of the kitchen with Chaos right on my heels. I could feel his bulky body inches from mine, but he soon stopped following me when he saw where I was headed.

“Hey mija,” I cooed towards her, picking her up off of the plush carpet. Her little arms wrapped around my neck in excitement as she left slobbery kisses on my face.

“Mommy’s gonna go, okay?” I whispered to her. Our noses touched as I placed a peck on her lips—a smile graced her tiny face. “I love you.”

As I placed her down, the sound of Chaos clearing his throat made me regret everything about today. With one last look at Maria, I turned towards him but walked for the door until he grabbed my forearm before I could reach the door handle.

“What?”

He sucked his teeth. “Don’t act like that.”

“Listen,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I have to go, make sure my baby is taken care of Chris.”

His eyes widen at the sound of his name before a short, forced, chuckle left his lips. He nodded before shaking his head and letting go of my arm.

“Have a safe trip.”

I couldn’t speak anymore. So I just walked out.

 Below the spectrum of depression is what I like to call “numbness”. Hence, you feel like you exist, but nonetheless, you still manage to feel like you’re in limbo. To you, there is no other reason to feel joy or the happiness you might want to have later on. In that state, it’s easy for you to misguide yourself and wonder what it would be like if you simply, weren’t there.

Would this have happened if I were never here?

If we never met, would he still be here?

If my life no longer mattered, would his fate still be altered?

My mind raced for some reasonable possibilities to keep my dark thoughts away. But each possibility matched one of my depressive thoughts—I wanted a drink. I wanted the biggest bottle of Chardonnay this plane had and I wanted it lodged down my esophagus.

But you’re better than that, I thought to myself.

My tongue laid flat against the roof of my mouth as I gnawed at my bottom lip. I let my acrylics tap on the glass window next to me, not caring if I annoyed anybody. For the time being I needed something, anything, to distract me from the oncoming wave of destruction I wanted to cause.

Chaos texted me shortly after I had arrived to the airport. Never knew the man to be such the novelist.

At the time of the text I hadn’t cared for him as much. Even now, I still don’t wish to speak to him. Call me childish or anything you’d like but I won’t surround myself with people who think of such situations as me playing a pity party for myself. Never have I once came to him with anything about his brother that wasn’t worthy of his knowledge.

Besides Maria, at least.

Now that this bombshell is on my plate, I’m lost for words on what to do. The person knows where I live, they know about Christian, so what else do they know? What don’t they know, is honestly the scarier part to me. Just the thought of Christian being out there alive and not knowing, or knowing a small fragment of what’s happened since he’s been gone makes me sick at it.

What if he knows?

What if he doesn’t? How much will it affect us?

With all the what if’s and not’s. With all the how’s and why’s—I still get nervous at the latter possibility. I get downright queasy with the thought of having to see him in a wooden box before I got the chance to tell him that I love him.

Before I could suck myself into a deeper hole, the plane shook with slight turbulence. Seconds later, the pilot announces,

Flight One-Eighty, you have arrived at JFK.

A smile of relief found my face. I envisioned the look of my father’s face when he sees me. I had so much to tell him, especially with Maria, I just hoped he held as much enthusiasm as I did.

So when the plane landed and I gathered my bags and walked off with the other passengers—my phone dinged twice.

[ecotone99]

[HR] Puff, puff, passout

"I never was a morning person. Lately it's been harder to fall asleep at night. Reading or watching random Netflix series helped for a while but I needed a proper fix for this. No pills."

"So, what then?" she asked from behind the counter.

"Well, not a pup, obviously. I'll try a fish tank. I've seen those subreddits with planted things in tanks, they say it's relaxing to watch."

"Yeah, pretty dope. Anything specific?" kept chewing that gum. What a rhythm she has, geez. You can actually see the jaw muscles working along with that fucking annoying sound. Mouth half open. Fuck me.

"Sort of the reason I'm here, I need some guiding." And a phone number would do, I wonder what other chewing that mouth can take.

"Umm, yeah, tanks are in the back" quick popping sound, did she just pop a gum ballon? "Just don't stick your fingers in."

"Right..." should I read into that?

​

The store was pretty well stacked. Dog leashes. Treats. Cat litter boxes. The usual suspects. Way back in the store, in a dimly lit area with water filter buzzing sounds and splashes, was the aquarium section. Was this every pet shop ever? What a cliche. Must be some reasons behind it, tho. Turtles. Shrimp tanks. Gross. Maybe that's why they keep these in the back, why the fuck would anyone think of having bowls with water animals in their home? I wonder who was the first person that saw a shrimp and went "Yo, I'd keep this on my desk... Anyone has a jar to borrow?" and just went with it. What a legend. And snails. Fuck me. Look at those fuckers just sliding and chewing on the glass surface...

"You like the slimy things?" and the chewing continued.

Uncalled. "I'm just looking. Nature is weird..."

"If you want a planted tank, it's helpful to have a couple. They eat surface algae. Coupled with a bunch of Otto catfishes and maybe some shrimp, it will make your life easier when it comes to maintenance"

"You have to do maintenance on these? It's a handful of plants in a water box"

"Yeah, umm, you just look at the pictures, right?" chew, pop "It's not that simple."

"And you're trying to sell me stuff, I get it. How heavy are these things?"

"You're not buying them like off the shelf" pop, chew "I'll make you a list"

Tanks on shelves. Small, tall, long. Corner shaped. Cubes. "I like the cube thing. Smaller the size, less the maintenance, right?" all treble, no bass, low volume radio screamed in the corner "(Go west, this is what we're gonna do, go west)" is that Pet Shop fucking Boys? How fit. What a cliche.

"Yeah, you're figuring it out I see" sneaky corner-of-the-mouth smile, mindless chewing, casual popping.

​

She went on and on with filters, substrate, cycling, an hour later I was back at my place doing hardscape arrangements while she was looking for Pinterest zen arrangements.

Chewing. Random pops.

"I'll go back to the store to get some wildlife, don't touch anything." and she did.

Warm evening. Orange glow, the kind that makes your jeans stick to your legs. Chewing and popping. Water splashes and plants.

"I thought you said no fish for the first weeks, and here we are. You played me."

"Yeah, I kinda did." she had a certain charm. Should I read into that? "And now the pufferfish"

"A pufferfish. How fucked up is that animal..." it swam around gently, looking for something.

"We're all animals" and a perv-y look follows, wow. Is this a cheap porn clip? "See this snail over here?" it was a weird, ice cream cone shaped slime thing, with something sticking out like a trunk, burrowing itself slowly in the sand.

"Since when do snails have trunks?"

"It's a carnivore snail"

"A what now?"

"The tank needs equilibrium. The other snails eat the algae, but they will start to reproduce and eventually will start eating your plants. The Assassin snail eats other snails, keeping them in check"

"How fucked up is that, really..." and that fucking fish. Stingy blob. "What's the puffer for?"

"That's for.. other reasons..."

Doorbell.

"I'll be right back, must be the landlord. Rent." great. "In a moment, Jake!" good timing there, Jake. You couldn't wait until tomorrow with that rent, could you? Where the fuck did I put the money... is it ok if she sees this? We met an hour ago...

Doorbell.

"Yes, yes!"

Door lock is a bit screechy. Old. Rusty. Should mention this to him, again. Oh, yes, behind the books. Now I should change the hiding place, maybe.

"Before you answer the door, do you have a grinder?" big eyes fixed me. She kept chewing, God damn it.

"Bottom drawer. Be right back." Right, the door. Money. Jack. After a cute little struggle and rusty metal sounds, there was Jake.

"Oh you have visitors" he reeked. Sweaty motherfucker, almost gagged while handing him the money.

"Yeah, about the door lock, Jake..." door screech again, closing it behind me "How long until you can change it, please? one day I won't be able to open it. Might get stuck inside. Can I tear it down if that happens?"

"Listen, I told you I'd fix that, why don't you trust me on it?"

"Sure thing, listen, I'm a bit busy. By the next rent do something about it, I don't like reminding this"

The fucker slowly paced down the hallway, counting the cash. "Talk to you next month, kid!"

Motherfucker.

The door closed behind me again, the lock played its metal chime to notify me it was locked. Good. Nasty weed smell waved, hmm... This is gonna be fun.

"Done" and a slow exhale followed. "Join me" she said join me with the joint already lit.

"Yes, m'am"

​

[Lorn - Anvil playing in the background, on repeat. please, go ahead. i'll resume the story after you open a new browser tab with it.]

She explained the high of the pufferfish sting but who remembers the details. Another joint lit. The wavy light reflecting from the tank onto the pillows is calming as fuck. Nice combo with the weed. And the sex. I feel sleepy and I barely recognize the feeling. Floating feeling, warm. I could fuck the Universe right now. Pufferfish went zap, a floating blob. Floating, staring at me. Water waves, slowly reflecting the light. Pufferfish. Puffer. Fish. Puff.

Staring contest. Pufferfish staring contest. What a trip. Slowly floating, it's breathing reminds me of bubblegum. Like it's chewing bubblegum. Big bubble chewing bubblegum, woop. Float, weirdo, float.

"Hey, umm.. isn't the tank too close to the bed? What if I..."

Chew, pop. Jaws clenching. "Cab is here"

"We should move it, I..." hard to find word succession. Sentence. Sentences. Sent. Haha. Scentences. Scentlesss sentence... is this what news anchors do for practice? Along with chewing bubblegum, for jaw muscle practice. Hah.

The door closed with a sudden click. Was that real? Here fishy fishy. Tap. Tap. Tap.

I wonder if she has a boyfriend or not. Bad timing for the question, given the high, but I'll ride it out. Gently.

"Hmm smm sm-mm sm hamm!" Yelling from the other side of the wall. Or door. Can't understand, really... Could it be the boyfriend? Haha, ride it out, boy. But let's just in case ride on it a bit. What if. Probably going out on the fire escape, he'll see the window open, catch the hint, run back on the hallway and downstairs. I'll be one floor up, it's late already so probably a cold breeze to dissolve the numbness is welcome. I might go on the roof, actually. Yeah, it's a better place to run. Run. RUN!!

Glass shattered at the last floor window. Fucking shards, piercing like tens of papercuts on the shoulder, back, ass, FUCK ME!

"MOTHERFUCKER"

What the fuck was I thinking?! Run, boy!!! What the fuck was I thinking, fucking door, DOOR, yes, hallway

"I'LL GET YOUR ASS ON A PLATE, PETSHOPBOY!!"

Who was that, the boyfriend? Damn these boots are making too much sound screech scratch faster, damn it! Stairs. Skipping steps, yes, like kids, firm grasp on the railing, boy, fuck there's blood on my arm easy EASY not to slip and fast, please, fast, please, PLEASE! How is this fucking hallway so long? Are those footsteps I can't hear anything with this blood pumping in my ear, Christ!

End of the hallway. Just a doorless opening in the wall, used for disposing trash. Now what, idiot? "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Jump. Freefall.

Silence; or so it seems, at least. Wet, something's wet under my ass, what the fuck is wet under my ass, it's so dark uncontrollable puking fuck this FUCK okokok let's see FUCK what the fuck was that! Warm. Wet. Garbage juice, GOD. It hurts, ok, slow. There's the exit, okok.. Why am I so wet, I can't see shit, I hope I've pissed myself and it's not the juice. Blood. Could be, ok, I need some light. There, a few steps, okok, parking is on the other side of the door, the car YES the car, I see it. Keys, back pocket, good. Dim light fuck but I can see it's piss, and some blood. Nasty juice only on the shirt, get it off GET IT OFF man it hurts...

Doesn't matter where to, just drive. Keys, almost there, good, one step in front of the other, boy. Keys, here, good. The stench, damn, ok no one here. Keys, stop shivering. What was that, 2 floor fall? could have died there, fuck me. It's quiet here, let's just get in the car. Next carwash I'll stay on the car and we both take a shower, how nice. Fuck, it hurts.

​

Highway lights. Rhythmic. Speed. Pain. Shirt out the window, seatbelt back on. What the fuck happened, man. Really. It was supposed to be a quiet Saturday. I'm dizzy, maybe a stop to the hospital would help, fuck. Why am I dizzy? Cold. What's that cold feeling in the back of my he- *gun clicks*

"Hey, punk, talk to me about it" hesinthebackseatFUCKHOWTHEFUCK

"Listen, man, I had no idea, please" ohgodohgodohgod

"It won't hurt, just pull over and let's talk"

Pull Fucking Over, sure. If he shoots now we both.. seatbelt, there's no seatbelt in the back

Hard. Breaking. Screech. Something went over the shoulder, glass breaking, drift and spin. Lights. Quiet.

​

Doorbell.

The fuck?

Doorbell.

I can't move.

"Damn it kid, what's that fucking smell?"

"Sir, move over please, this is the police" the police? Doorbell. "Sir please open the door" hard knocking follows.

I can't move.

"I haven't seen him since last month" what. "I came over last week to collect the rent but he didn't respond so I thought he wasn't at home" what the fuck. "That song, it just plays on and on, maybe he forgot his PC on?" WHAT THE FUCK

I can't MOVE. I can see the ceiling but it's blurry. Left eye only?

"Sir if you do not respond we'll have to open the door by force"

Why can't I move? I can't feel anything... it's just... getting darker, there's something on my eye and it smells like rotten fish...

"Make room, please, we have to bring it down"

"Why does it smell like that? Is he dead?" dead? how can I be dead, you fucking moron.

"Paramedics are here, tear down the door" paramedics?

Bam. Bam. BAM. A sudden crash. "OH MY GOD" did he just puke? "What is that?" what is what? what the fuck is happening?!

"I think that was a fish tank, sir, holy fucking shit are those snails?"

"His torso is covered with them, let's just take them off what the actual fuck"

Wait, snails? SNAILS? Someone please what is happening!!

"He's not responding, sir, his eyes are gone, fuck, let's move fast" HOW THE FUCK ARE MY EYES GONE

"What is that DON'T TOUCH THAT"

"I can't get a pulse" oh god please oh god please "His face is almost gone, fuck me"

"Do not touch that, I think it's some kind of puffer fish on his neck, it's rotten god damn. It must have stung him when the tank broke. Look at his hand, he smashed the tank in his sleep or something, it's all cut up"

what... please...

"The snails... they are eating his flesh..."

"Sir, get out and you're puking all over the place, what the fuck"

"And somebody, please, stop that fucking music."

STOP WHAT MUSIC!?

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[icharchivist]

I've noticed in DGM ressurection typically plays a negative role and represents the worst in humanity, even using love itself for evil. Prime examples being the Earl reviving the dead into Akuma and the Order's 2nd Exorcist project. The only one good ressurection that has happened so far is Allen when the Innocence revived him after Tyki tried to destroy his heart. This makes me wonder if Allen, at some point, will literally die. It would fit many hero journey elements. Particularly in -

2 in supernatural themed stories like this one. It would also fit his messiah like archtype. But more to the point, it would be a really interesting thing for Allen's loved ones to deal with. If Innocence itself could revive Allen from this complete death, would they allow it? They've had nothing but bad experiences w/reviving the dead and by that point they'd all have reasons to distrust Innocence. Would they think they'd be pulling a Earl? Would Allen come back himself? Would they be -

3 betraying Allen by bringing him back? There's just so much for them to consider. So much they need Allen for. So much they want to do for him. I think it'd be a really interesting conflict for the characters to have over Allen dying but having a chance to have him back (to save the world). Who would agree to it and who would argue against it?

I don’t specifically think it’s the worst in humanity, it’s a nuanced approach again, and mostly also a way to see how each sides weaponized said resurection. 

The Earl litterally weaponized love, and I don’t believe it’s supposed to show this sort of love as a tool for evil, but show how much the Antagonists can go do horrible things like that and make love, grief, normal humanlike process, into something people should avoid. Bc in the end how to not make Akuma? Not grief, not feel love? Way to isolate your enemy. It leads to despair. I think it shows a lot how the Earl took what was best of humanity and twisted it against itself. After all if it was for the worst of humanity, the souls of the departed wouldn’t be the ones to suffer - the selfishness of the “callers” would be punished otherwise. The souls of the departed being twisted show kinda a bold message of “don’t love anything”, especially knowing that love is the strongest thing of humanity. 

But yeah the Second Exorcist project proved how the Order side as the worst of humanity in the name of protecting it. And I think that’s the contrast right? The Earl uses the best of humanity to destroy it, and the Order the worst of humanity to “save” it. 

Anyway sorry that was just a slight parentethis (and i’m sure you tried to get through it more quickly due to the ask limit so sorry if i’m just justifyng something you meant) 

but you do have a point, resurection don’t really have a good look into the story yet, and it always has consequences both on the people who are ressurected and the people who help into the resurection

As for Allen’s death, I personally think it’s very likely for Allen to die in the end thematically wise, of the boy who started the story bringing back the dead and filled with despair, to die and fill others with hope. 

I also wonder if, IF, the innocence win, what will happen to the current innocences in circulation? Because Allen’s was sleeping until it was facing an akuma and I could... see the innocences shatters around the world all over again. And Allen has his own heart laced with a bit of innocence. I could see it bite him back in the ass, bringing back a circle over how all ressurection have a price.

But yeah I otherwise don’t think the innocence would stop Allen from dying if Allen doesn’t have any more reasons to be alive tbh? Like, I mean, his heart was devoured and innocence destroyed when his innocence saved him, so i doubt the innocence would let him die - unless there is no use to him anymore. And there well, it would likely mean the end of the fight as well.

I could see Allen not even seeing himself as... a being outside fo the war. And tbh this would be my strongest reason for wanting Allen to survive. Because Allen’s goal is to be a weapon into the war, once the war is over, Allen doesn’t have “any purpose left”. If he could survive, he would have to find back a purpose in helping humanity in others ways. And I would love to see that, how to cope when you’ve been a human weapon your whole life? But i also think that’s why Allen’s death could work narratively.

So yeah that too, that Allen’s goal is to be part of the ongoing war and that his goal will be done once the war is over- which is different from every Shounen protags i can think of who generally have a goal set for AFTER their adventures, and there is rarely a notion of “how to live once your goal is accomplished.” (especially ongoing goals like starting a family for huh, in general, but like, being Hokage for Naruto, Pirate King for Luffy, Getting back your body with Edward ect... it’s all goals that require “moving on” from the journey, to enjoy said goal. Allen doesn’t have this finality).

As for Allen’s friends, I think no one would want to see Allen’s death. And I could see some character even consider the worst (i swear it’s not shipping related, but like Lavi especially who had had a prejudice against Allen because he was foolish enough to call onto an Akuma, because Lavi just experienced that with a friend at that point, Dug, to be taken with the idea he can’t move on with Allen’s death would work just fine. Tbh this also works with the idea of Lavi being the one telling the story to carry it on y’know)

I think Lenalee would completely refuse Allen’s death. It’s part of her “selfishness”, of priviligizing her world instead of the The World. She couldn’t bear letting Allen to die for the greater good, and i think she would fight for it not to happen and afterward.

Kanda is the one i would see more likely to accept it due to the grief he had to endure in the path, and the fact he’s already ready to kill Allen if Nea takes over. I think he would be more likely to accept it but it depends the situation. I also think that “ressurection” would be badly seen by Kanda, to even consider it, having been a victim of that himself (side note this is a reason I’ve always wanted Kanda to meet Cross while he used Grave of Maria. I mean a corpse brought back to life for their war impact? ah.). So Kanda would be firmly against any attempt to bring Allen back, even if i could see him try to save Allen as much as he could, to its last limits. He owes him that much.

If given a choice (”Let Allen die to save the world, or save allen and the world will still be struggling”) I think every characters who care for Allen to some degree would want to protect Allen. No one would accept the choice. But if Allen is already a goner, i just see.. those who wouldn’t stand it well and those who would be desperate out of it. 

It’s really hard to imagine in more details tho bc it depends also how much sacrifices must still be made to get to the end and the characters development.... like I can’t even speculate on Link bc he’s still too early in his character arc regarding Allen to judge for exemple.

but yeah.. more than any story i can think of, Allen dying would make sense and no one would deal with it properly imo.I still kinda cross fingers for a... not so tragic ending. But who knows

[voxplusherizes]

April Ramble: Eye Troubles, Hair Uncertainties, and Doll Instanity

I’m gonna try to do a monthly update about stuff from now on.

So, Lots of stuff has happened. and at the same time lots of stuff ...hasn’t...happened.

Eyes:

I’ve finished Erasii’s mouth and right eye. However, my confidence with dealing with resin came back to bite me in the ass. Severl years ago, i tried to start a project where i would make large plushes (like Erasii’s size with a wildly different pattern) or all the remnants and i started with Azur. I didn’t get past sewing the arms and legs, and thats because i started on the eyes right away. I used the exact same methode as this time: sculpt an eye from polymer clay, make a mold, cast the eye dome, attach a photo of the eye behind it. Simple. easy. Lmao. Nope. I recall casting three eyes and every one of the had bubbles. every one of them was cloudy. one was very sticky. I gave up back then, and the project was since abandoned.

Until two weeks ago, where I thought i’d done enough research to know how to do it right. Except i forgot that resin has a fuckin vendetta against me i swear to god.

The first eye attempt developed holes at the dome, aka: the front of the eye. This irritated me because when i poured the resin, it was super clear for two hours before i checked it and suddenly: a fuckton of bubbles. I havn’t no idea where they came from. So i tried again (also tried to cover the first attempt in more resin after pokeing holes to the bubbles, which.....ended poorly.) and poured another cast. i watched this version religiously, and it was amazeingly clear! I thought it went perfect.....until i went to check if i could remove it after four days of letting it cure and it was still completely liquid. two extra days did nothing. Evidently, I did not stir it properly enough (i call bullshit, i stirred for three minutes. i timed it.) and i had to scoop the resin into the trash and clean the mold. by far the most agaonizeing part of this one was that it was still completely bubbleless like w h y must u hurt me.

By this point, I’m incredibly irritated. Whenever I get the measureing and stirring correct, my cast developes bubbles for no damn reason. whenever my cast doesn’t develope bubbles, it doesn’t cure. I have browsed forum after forum, video after video, did every trick i could find, fallowed the instructions to the T. and still, my resin has failed to turn out.

I am torn, honestly. I am so pissed at my inability to cast resin properly that i’m determined to keep trying to get it right. but at the same time, i’m wasteing resin and not making any imporvments. on the other side, My mom has a coworker who owns a jewlery buiseness with her husband and most of their peices use a really nice clear casting material. I’m wondering if I could ask them if they’d be willing to make me a complete eye as a commission. I havn’t any idea how they make their casts, however (i assume molds, but not sure) so i’m not sure. i’m also unsure if their casting material is a type of glass. I’ll ask about the durability of the material, and keep it as an option if everything else fails.

I currently have a third eye in the mold. i havn’t checked it since i poured it. i’m scared to, thb. i don’t want to be dissapointed.

Dragon:

On a more lighthearted note, If yall rememeber my dragon pattern from a while ago, i started on that plush. Originally i was just going to work on it until i got the rest of the stuff to finish erasii, but since his eye is taking forever and i havn’t been able to get the yarn to the correct length for his hair, i’ve gotten a lot of it done. the wings and batting inside are completely done (witht he exception of turning and sewing the finger details+stuffing) which was the largest part of the project. I started working ont he gold tail decor but i need to pull out an entire side since the peice didn’t match up properly. i was going to leave it, but i dont want her to look ugly int he end so about two hours of sewing earlier are down the drain Lol.

Hair:

Returning to Erasii, for more bad news, I’ve decided I can’t use yarn for his hair. i can’t get it long enough. I also can’t make a wig for him like i wanted to try, because i forgot his horns existed. Instead, i’ve decided to order saran hair. This....doesn’t sit well with me. I was going to try wefts this time, but i dont feel comfortable attching them dirrectly to his head. but i havn’t any idea how else to attach them either. i was thinking maybe glueing? or somehow sewing the hair directly into the head? the bangs and sides are the main ones i want to look nice since the back of erasii’s head is litterally just A Mess of short hair. I dunno. i’m ordering a crapton of hair, so we’ll see what i can do when i have it in my hands.

Dolls:

I’ve made the mistake of watching doll customizations. and i wanted to do one. except i couldnt make up my mind, and now i have three planned whoOPS

The first one is Pumpkin Pie, a pumpkin themed girl I want to make arund halloween. I have an orange body thats faceless and lacking hair bc it was from a create your own monster kit. she’s the perfect starter.

The second one was the original one i wanted to make, Nyoul. My little girly boy with a taste for cupcakes and human flesh. He was the reason i first went through the way-too-big box of dolls my mom and i bought years ago (over 500 dollars worth like srsly.) to find a duplicate to tear apart. but surpriseingly, we didn’t have any duplicates. We have three frankies, yeah, but they were all different versions, so i didn’t feel comfortable tearing any of them apart. Most unfortunately, this conundrum gave me time to lament, during which time i keep peeking at my Gooliope. She’s 17 inchs high, and i loved that size. I didn’t dare ruin her (she’s by far my favorite) so i kept an eye out for other 17 inchers. And as luck would have it, while stopping by toys r’ us the other day, I noticed one in the clearence bin. orignally 30bucks, dropped down to 15. not bad. the reason for this was because the doll (a clawdeen) was a little bit damaged. both her ears have broken bits and theres a lots of weird plastic at the seems. not so good for a child, a miracle gift from the doll gods for me. i expected to feel a little guilty buying a doll away from a potential kid, but because this one is damaged, i don’t. parents would have told a little girl to put this one back and grab another one anyway, so no harm in giving this little misfit a home x3

There are some....drawbacks, however.

Nyoul already requided heavy modification (ie: tiddy-be-gone) and now he needs even more. I was originally aiming for a frankie, since she has a lighter skin tone and no ears, since my concept for Nyoul has him as very pale. this is because his outfit will have a lot of color and having his skin be near-white would allow them to pop like on a canvase. he’s also aupposed to look like a doll, but also sickly. Cute, but not quite right. I’m going to have to cut off the ears (and boobs), and then repaint the entire body. I do feel.....gross, about doing that. it feels insulting and wrong. But if i’m going to put all this effort into makeing him, why shouldn’t i make him completely what I want?

on the upside of workin on him, I get to make a prop eventually! I love doing that! he carries a big-ass axe and long scissors.

Nyoul’s going to be a very long project. This is why I want to finish both Erasii AND the dragon before i even start him. So Clawdeen’s just chilling with her deformities for a couple of weeks Lol.

And lastly.....my ball joint doll.

Years ago, i purched a ball joint doll from someone used. I’ve always loved ball joints, but they were all too expensive. I was so excited to have a BJD at last, i developed an entire design for her that sadly failed to come to be. I had a lot of trouble as a newbie seamstress back then that i eventually gave up, and tossed her into my closet for a few....years.

and then i took her out of the closet and put her in the attic for several more years. I rescued her afew days ago, and i feel super guilty. I never even put her pants or shirt back on!

I dislike the original design i had for her, so i’ve been trying to think of what to transform her into. I was thinking about a demon popstar, so i could make horns and wings and a tail, but....her face doesn’t fit. she has a very serene sad face, lidded eyes. I’m not sure if i could paint her face to make her look more evil or mischevious or a diva. I really want to try tho. I might have to save it for another 17 incher monster high tho. i keep seeing the popstar design with highheels and my BJD has flat feet. and I can’t order new ones because they’re expensive and also i have no idea what modle doll i even have so whoops.

if i do move ahead with that idea tho, i’ve taken inspiration from Sia and Lady Gaga (and Billy Joe Cobra if i’m being embarisingly honest) especially witht he hair idea. a boxy neck length thats pure white on top, but each later under is a different color of the rainbow with some rainbow bangs. She’d also have sunglasses, piercings, tattoos, long fake nails....just so much stuff.

But its a long way before i’m confident to even try to work on her. just holding her makes me scared i’m gonna break her. (even tho i kinda already did, accidentally had to restring her legs bc i dropped a string trying to take her head off.)

Her time in the closet and attic seem to have done something to her faceup. I’ve been struggleing for the past three days to remove it (bc i want to repaint her and also the colors were ugly and she has a stupid little tear on her cheek) useing everything i could. I tried acetone first (i did a test ont he inside of the headcap to see if it’d hurt the resin) and it did absolutely nothing. so then i tried rubbing alcohol, and again nothing. i tried a magic eeraser which finally worked, but not well. i don’t want to try to buy anything else, so i’ve been dealing witht he magic eraser. i’ve nearly removed everything besides the lips, and i honestly don’t think i’m gonna be getting that lip color out of there. I’ve tried to shove some eraser into there and scrub with a toothpick and it did not do anything. I was planning on coloring her lips a dark color anyway, so meh. bonus shadeing.