#the core of it (what i really want to hit yall with) is written but justifying it with the proper context is...

[possamble]

Girl help me I fell in love with a fanfic from someone fully employed and the chapters are too long betwix

Man me too wtf 🥲

[wishmemel]

BLESS YOUR ABSOLUTE SOUL ABOUT YOUR HOT TAKE ON WHAT KIND OF PARTNER SATORU NEEDS IM-

im so tired of those x reader fics where the reader is mean/annoyed/snappy/straight up ignores him,,,, like,,,, yall forget who his soulmate was and if that doesn't tell you this guy doesn't need love, support, a shoulder to lean on emotionally and still be very physically needed and relevant then idk if we're reading the same jujutsu kaisen... (obviously everybody can write and enjoy whatever content they want and enjoy but i just have a personal dislike for it at this point because it's prevalent in the tags)

i love reading fics (and there is WAY too little of them) where the reader/oc/partner is just. soft with satoru and accepting and just gentle. straight up. treats him like a baby kitten like a tiny kirby made out of marshmallow even through he's. strong big imposing yada yada; obviously relationship banter and sarcasm are cool and cute to a degree and very loved and appreciated when written well but idk, i just feel like ur post hit my very soul so, thank you!! your thoughts and writing are very lovely and i can't wait to see more!

ugh. people like you turn me into a blushing mess. i adore you.

i love reading people’s opinions on my posts ‘cause otherwise i just feel like i’m talking to myself (which i also do a lot.) but it’s really fun to interact with people on the site which is the whole reason i joined in the first place.

I completely understand where you’re coming from with the snappy/ignoring reader. maybe satoru would find someone like that fun to tease and fun to talk to, but i think it would take a lot for him to be able to trust/open up/rely on someone like that. like a literal miracle. when you present yourself in a relationship like that, you’re not presenting yourself as someone trustworthy, really. There’s going to be a lingering fear of judgement and criticism, always (totally not speaking from experience :D) so i think it would be interesting to see that kind of relationship being built on, like a slow burn, i guess.

but satoru needs someone who really cares about him at their core. someone who falls for him first, basically, and proves how much they care. but at the same time they need to be firm. i love to see attitude and teasing from reader as long as it remains surface level and isn’t serious, you know. ‘cause i know satoru would love that too. he thrives on that banter. too much emotion and the poor thing might break. so if reader is being subtle but like not-so-subtle, that’s a good balance.

(and that makes no sense. great, safi, you’ve lost everyone.)

i mean subtle as in they’re definitely going out of their way to do things for him, but they aren’t flaunting that. it doesn’t have to be grand gestures. that’s more his thing. it’s small things with a lot of meaning. and being the traumatized guy that he is, satoru will definitely fixate on those small things.

i have a part two for the hot take in my drafts honestly cause i don’t think i was clear enough with my opinion so you might disagree with part two, but i’d love to hear your thoughts regardless. it’s just an elaboration on my previous thoughts and what i’ve said in this post as well, and i’ll finish it soon so i can post it (just gotta add a little more cause i’ve been kinda busy lately). it’s coming soon!

as always, lots of love, anon. hope you’re taking care of yourself <3

[yuthoe]

Mean (MONSTA X: Chae Hyungwon)

LET'S HOPE IT SHOW UP IN THE TAGS THIS TIME

hellooooo friends and welcome to the effect of hyungwon's hands on lil ole myks. tbh i don't think this one is very good, but i just wanted to write it bc i would be frustrated for the next week if i didn't. i saw this one tweet of a closeup of hyungwon's hands and it literally wouldn't leave my brain so now we have this

hope yall like iiiiiiit

PAIRING: Hyungwon x female!reader. GENRE: fic, smut. WARNINGS: 18+ ONLY, depictions of vaginal fingering, penetration, choking, swearing, dom/sub play, bondage, lots of mentions of hands, probably poorly written. WORD COUNT: 1,932.

---

You squirm on his lap, naked and completely at his mercy. Hyungwon has your arms tied behind your back, two long fingers deep in your cunt and a thumb pressing down on your tongue. He makes sure to time the movements of his fingers to the swirling of your tongue around his digit. The little mewls you make almost make him want to take pity on you and pull you down onto his cock, already hard and brushing against your thigh with every buck of your hips.

Almost.

Hyungwon can feel your essence dripping down his hand as you let out a strangled moan when he curls his fingers just right against your sweet spot.

“Hleahe,” you say around his thumb. “Hyuhon... Hleahe, Ah can’k hkake ih—,”

“Hmm?” he hums, forcing your mouth open wider. “What was that you said? I couldn’t quite understand.”

But you can only moan as he pushes another finger into your hole. Your thighs shake from the intrusion, and if not for Hyungwon’s stern warning earlier to sit up straight you would have collapsed into his chest by now.

Your body feels so hot, burning from the inside out like a fever. His fingers dig in so deep that you think you might start crying if he continues.

“Uh-uh,” Hyungwon suddenly says, withdrawing his thumb from your mouth to squeeze your cheeks in his big hand. He guides your face close to his, plump lips slightly brushing against your puckered ones. “Eyes on me, baby. Open your eyes and look right at me." He waits for you to follow his orders and presses a quick kiss to your nose when you do. "Now. I couldn’t really understand what you were saying earlier.” He trails the hand on your face down, down, brushing his fingertips along your sensitive skin until it rests at the base of your neck. “Could you repeat that please?”

You gulp and whimper—his other hand hasn’t stopped its ministrations at your core and you can barely get out a word, let alone a full sentence.

A shaky sigh leaves your lips. “I… I said I—hnng,” Your back arches forward as a thumb joins Hyungwon’s fingers to press at your swollen clit. “Aahhh, Hyungwon, please—,”

“No, no,” he says, hand twitching at your neck, tightening his grip a tiny bit. “Use your words, baby, come on.”

Another moan erupts from you when Hyungwon rubs your nub in small circles. “Oh my god, Hyungwon please, I can’t take it anymore, please fuck me!” You’re certain there are tears on your face. He’s been playing with you for the better part of an hour with no signs of stopping or letting you come. At this point, you’re not sure if he’ll ever let you finish tonight.

Hyungwon hums, wipes your tears with the same thumb that was gagging you earlier, brushes hair away from your eyes. “There’s my good girl,” he murmurs, kissing your lips and cheeks and nose and eyes. His fingers still inside you when he asks, “You want my cock, baby?”

You nod furiously, rolling your hips to get him to move again, get him to let you go, get him to do something, anything! “Yes… please…”

Suddenly your cunt is empty and before you could even gasp, his fingers are in your mouth, soaked in your juices. A shudder jolts your spine as you taste yourself on your tongue.

“Clean me up good and you can have it,” Hyungwon says, deftly unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his pants with one hand.

One look at his bulge spurs you into action, swirling your tongue all over and between his long, soft fingers. Hyungwon’s gaze is steady on your lips, watching you drool all over his hand in your rush to please him. He takes his cock out from his boxers and gives it a long, hard stroke.

Your eyes are fixed on his member and you whimper, more insistent now on cleaning up your mess so you can finally have him inside you.

Thankfully Hyungwon withdraws his hand after a few more seconds of you sucking on his fingers, and he quickly pulls you by the back of the neck to devour your lips. You can’t help the moans that escape you as his tongue explores your mouth. You squirm again in his hold and he guides your hips closer to his, hand gripping your flesh so tightly it’s sure to leave a mark. You feel the tip of his cock brush your folds and you mewl.

“Hyungwon, please,” you plead again against his plush lips. “Please, I need—,”

“Shut up,” he snarls, and with one thrust fills you up to the hilt. Hyungwon groans as he grips your hips tighter, big long fingers sprawled over the expanse of bare skin.

God, he fills you so well, long and thick and hitting all the right spots inside you. The heat from him unravels out, down to your curled toes and to the nails digging into your palm.

Hyungwon lets you adjust to him for a few seconds, dropping kisses along your neck and jaw, palming your breasts and rolling your pebbled nipples with his thumbs. You fidget and clench around him, biting back moans whenever he nips at the sensitive skin of your neck and chest.

Your head lolls to the side, letting Hyungwon have free reign wherever he can reach, and as you make to shift again, you feel the silk tie binding your wrists being pulled down and keeping you still. You’re sat up straight again, this time completely trapped as Hyungwon’s strong arm anchors you down.

He brushes his bangs away from his face, steely gaze making you melt against his other hand on your waist. He licks his lips and says, “You wanted this.” He grinds deeper into you, and a whimper breaks out from your throat unbidden. “You’re gonna take it.”

“Oh my god—,” you choke out, before he pulls back, leaving just the tip in, and slamming into you. You gasp for air, back arching at his hard thrust. “Hyungwon—,”

He’s relentless in the assault on your cunt, pounding out a rhythm that gets a squeak out of you everytime he hits the deepest parts of you. Light groans and praises of how beautiful you look, how well you take him escapes his lips.

At some point, when you’re all sweaty and tear tracks line your face, he stops, presses you close to him, cock still snug inside your hole. The tremor in your thighs and hands won’t stop, tired from being kept in their positions for too long, and you sob as Hyungwon touches your forehead to his.

The kiss he gives you is a lifeline that you’re eager to take. His lips move languidly against yours, unhurried even as his hands explore the expanse of your skin—squeezing your thighs and ass, dragging his nails down your sensitive back, cupping both sides of your neck. A thumb hooks on your lips as his other hand slowly trails down the valley of your breasts, past your quivering stomach, and comes to rest just at the crease of your thigh.

Hyungwon hums against your lips. “Do you want to come, baby?”

As you open your mouth to answer, you feel Hyungwon’s thumb position itself over your clit. You whimper, tighten around his cock. “Oh my god, yes,” you say, breathless and leaning into another desperate kiss. “Yes, please, Hyungwon—can I please come, please!” You make sure to look at him when you beg, despite the tears blurring your vision.

You see him smirk and then the next second, feel him grind into you. Hyungwon rubs small circles on your clit as he picks up the rhythm again.

“Such a good girl,” he says, hand coming up around your neck and squeezing. Bites his lip when he hears you whine, strangled from how his hand encases your throat. “You’re perfect for me aren’t you?” A sharp thrust, a harsh intake of breath. “Are you gonna come for me, baby? Hm?”

Your mouth is hanging open in the shape of his name, futilely trying to find your voice with the grip he has on your neck. You try to nod, try to warn him that the knot in your core is about to snap, when he grunts out, “I can feel you, baby, come for me, come on.”

You whimper, high and thin, and thrash in his arms, overwhelmed by the intensity of your orgasm. After what feels like hours and hours of teasing and edging and denial, the release is a relief.

But Hyungwon isn’t done.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he says, releasing your throat in favor of cupping the back of your neck to pull you down to his hard thrusts. You’re still spasming around him, and every grind pushes you closer to oversensitivity. “I’m gonna come inside you, okay? You want that?”

You moan and tighten around him again. A flush comes up to your face as you shiver in his hold. “Yes,” you breathe. “Yes, please, I want it, give it to me, please.”

He chuckles. “That’s a good girl,” he says, voice low and husky and sends shivers down your spine. He braces both hands on your hips and bucks up into you, speeding up as he chases his high, and you’re just there for the ride, pliant and all his for the taking.

“Fuck,” he grunts, digging his fingers deeper into the plush of your hips it’s almost painful. “Fuck, fuck, fuck—!” You’re helpless as Hyungwon cranes his neck up to catch your lips in a hard kiss, as he pumps once, twice, three times before stilling. You feel warmth spread all over from the inside out, practically feel every throb of his cock as he spills into you. He swallows the tiny moans that slip through your lips.

It’s quiet in the room, save for your ragged breathing, and the softest rustling of fabric as Hyungwon finally tugs on the knot that frees your wrists. Your forehead is pressed against his as he keeps your arms still. Warm hands trail upwards to your shoulders and massage the tops of your arms.

You let out a content sigh and give him a quick kiss. Slowly, you roll your wrists, bend your arms, inch by inch until your hands are cupping Hyungwon’s cheeks and your fingers are brushing through his silky hair. It was torture, not being able to touch him, though you can’t say you hated it.

Hyungwon gently pushes your head to rest on his shoulder and you breathe in his scent, pressing a small kiss to his neck. Big hands are at your thighs again, squeezing and massaging the sore muscles.

“You okay there, love?” he asks, and the vibrations make you shiver a little.

“Mhm,” you say, nodding small. You’re drained, unable to string together anything other than random sounds of assent.

Hyungwon hums again. “Good. We’ll rest for a bit and then take a long, hot bath, how’s that sound?”

You nod again, winding your arms around his waist and sliding your hands under the shirt he refused to take off. When you told him last night that you wanted him to be a little mean, you didn’t think he’d take it this far. But you can’t really complain because, as intense as it was, it felt so good.

Palms press against the skin of his back, and you feel him shiver slightly as you trace meaningless shapes there.

Maybe you should ask him to be mean to you more often.

[jackwolfes]

ooh can i ask for 6, 7 (slln and west stave wylan? also u don’t have to speak if u don’t want to lol), and 8? 🖤🖤

[questions]

6 what is your favourite sense to incorporate in your writing and why?

probably unsurprising given what i write, but touch? i'm working on a very fun kaz/wylan fic that's very very touch/physical sensation focused and i'm v excited to share 👀 i think i just struggle with other senses though 😅

7 what is you favourite sentence/paragraph? read it to us! (asker can choose what fic)

for SLLN: He’s alive to hold these little notes in his hands. He’s alive enough to find someone to read them for him, just as much as he’s alive to leave them and never know what they say. He’s alive just to feel how he feels and that is a wondrous thing. (this is my fave set of lines for like, any fic i've written)

for WSW: the entire section that starts "He didn’t cry the first night." which i'll put below a read-more and expand on (mostly bc triggers!!)

also i would read aloud for yall if i possibly knew how 😂

8 if you got a computer virus that deleted all your fics but had just enough time to save one before they were wiped out, which fic would you pick and why?

i mean probably west stave wylan 😅 it feels a bit like a flagship piece of content for me, and something really wonderfully unique! a close second is silly little love notes though -- probably more because i know that's really relatable to a lot of people <3

anyway some WSW below the cut (tw for sexual assault)

so, this entire section i feel really gets to the core of WSW, and i really liked how it turned out. like, it really hits the gruesome side of things as well as the banalities of, he just wants to take a fucking nap and he's so glad to just be safe and alive and have a bed, even with all this absolutely horrid stuff happening to him. which, as a reader i kind of hate because it's so uncomfortable and cutting and brutal, but as a writer to invoke those feelings (even in myself) is really gratifying. it also sets up this AU's version of Wylan, who's so utterly jaded and beat down in a way that canon-verse Wylan absolutely isnt

He didn’t cry the first night. 

He knows people wanted him to, but he didn’t have it in him to. Even with the unfamiliarity of hands on him, in him - saints, that had been a lot - and the tiny twinges of pain. Not even when his first kiss was taken by a woman that was already on top of him. His first time, with a woman that made him beg and blush a fierce, embarrassed red. His first orgasm with another person, wrenched from him by a man that laughed when he gasped, startled and confused and kind of uncomfortable. 

More than a few firsts, and a steep learning curve, and exhaustion and discomfort and an excess of people. 

But he didn’t cry. 

He wasn’t sad, he wasn’t hurt, and he didn’t regret it. 

He was just relieved to have a warm bed. To know that he’d wake up and get food, to know he’d have money left over to buy himself more. 

[poursomesunaonme]

UM HI??? WHY HAS IT TAKEN ME SO LONG TO WATCH MIDNIGHT MASS???? (good) ranting below the cut bc holy shit… *spoilers* do i need to even give a religion tw i mean…

so yall know i have oodles and oodles of religious trauma from my involvement w the church in high school so watching it has been a trip to say the least

also im obsessed with anything that mike flanagan has created the man rivals my obsession w david lynch SHIT

the hymns that they choose - phenomenal. i may not identify w the faith anymore BUT i love hymns and i was singin along like a mf fiend

but anyways imma do an episode by episode review bc im that neurotic

episode 1

i love it when creators have their fav actors/actresses, so seeing kate siegel, robert longstreet, annabeth gish, samantha sloyan, carla gugino, and henry thomas just really made me so happy! henry’s character design had him nearly unrecognizable and his accent too so whenever i realized i was like… u bastard ur amazing. he’s so talented! but i thought that this episode created a lovely setup about the show, with all the family and community dynamics. i heavily relate to riley’s dilemma about not going to church when he’s back home because of my estrangement from it all - and face it, my mom’s more of a bev than an annie (which makes the series a lot more… fun to watch because flanagan really hits the nail on the head when it comes to bev’s character). i’m hopping on the father paul is a hottie train because i have a thing for priests (hehe choo choo all aboard the trauma train!) but also that one sermon… wowza

episode 2

the homily that father paul gives… nearly converted me LMAO. NOT REALLY! but still i was like mans deserves an emmy for that. the whole crock pot luck scene had me in tears when pike died… like i haven’t finished it so i’ll let myself predict that it was bev bc she’s a big fat BITCH. continuing in the bev vain, riley’s exposé had me fuming with 1) taking money from the oil company and 2) using it for tithing like obviously she pocketed what was leftover from the community center. my parents give sO MUCH MONEY to the church like ??? i want an inheritance??? sorry im a bitch but its true lmao. but then his whole monologue about god and bad things happening and suffering had me bawling. my. eyes. out.

i used to be one of those people who believed that suffering was a good thing - i will reiterate that i was heavily involved with church activities in high school, staffing and planning retreats, giving talks, all that fun stuff (it’s fun looking back now because i see that it created a deep fear of intimacy in my heart hahahahahah). but hearing riley talk about it, and going on about how the townspeople especially suffer… woof that hurt. but the whole monologue was so well written, and so beautiful - i also appreciated how he has the whole view of the other side because he was born into and involved with the faith before leaving the island.

i think those kinds of views are one of the best perspectives because they really understand the church’s view and all. like with issues nowadays and with arguments with my parents, i can best them because i still somewhat know what i’m talking about. but watching other shows that explore catholicism just aren’t done right but this one… takes the mf cake. i can also really appreciate the imagery of the island being the faith and leaving it allows perspectives to change because it was what happened to me when i left my hometown to go to college. love how relatable it is.

episode 3

leeza’s miracle: had me shaking to my core, honest. my theory that i’m screaming into the void is that there’s some kinda blood in the chalice that heals her and is what’s healing everyone else. but moving on, whenever they go to sarah’s office and wade says something along the lines of “why can’t we just label it a miracle and be done with it” when sarah suggests testing that would actually benefit other people in leeza’s situation, it just blew my mind. and bev gatekeeping people from father paul (i guess it was alright since he was violently ill)… also for those of yall who dont know, priests aren’t supposed to be in a parish for more than like a few years so how the monsignor was there for so long… who knows. but the whole purpose is that the parish doesn’t get attached to the priests, which in a lot of cases happen and people move parishes after they leave, yadda yadda… but with the miracle and gatekeeping, it just goes to show you how attached they already are.

i simply adore how father paul’s confession telling of what happened to pruitt went - especially with the story of saul and the images of the stations of the cross… like christ it was amazing. and of course, bev has to be teaching about god in the public school. the whole conversation made my skin itch because it was like listening to my mom talk LMAO but i love hassan’s character and his view on it, and especially how the show explores his ostracization from the community because of his muslim identity. it made me sad to see how bev trampled on him and erin but i was like this is the christian’s world and we are sadly living in it lmao.

and HOLY SHIT LEEZA’S CONFRONTATION WITH JOE. in tears. in fucking tears. now i was not shot and paralyzed by a man but i was sure traumatized by him and when i tell yall that every word she said i have uttered to him. how my faith used to enable me to be beaten down by him i will never begin to comprehend (nor do i want to) but this scene just said it all and more.

riley and joe’s conversation really hit me so hard. no matter what happens, the town’s opinions isn’t going to change of them, and they know that. but when joe asks, “does it ever get any different for people like us?” i was bawling crying. because that’s how i feel coming home. all the people i used to know are still involved in the same old activities in the same old circles, and then there’s me. people know that i don’t go to church anymore; i mean i’m not crazy but i still feel like im ostracized in the place that i grew up in. i’m sure that my mom’s asking all her friends to pray for me to come back to the church and when i tell you that makes a person feel like garbage… when they all look at you with that pitying smile. like i know how it felt and i don’t want to go back there you can’t blame me.

the conversation between hassan and ali also had me emotionally deceased. ali made a great point saying that he didn’t choose to be muslim, i didn’t choose to be catholic; so wanting to experiment is valid. i love how hassan’s character is explored here, i was just disappointed in how deep. but his love for his wife *chefs kiss* im in love with him.

“if god really worked that way… if he decided that he was gonna heal some and not others”

tears… so many tears… the wounds of my grief dealing with my uncle really opened up and i was losing my mind about it because his death really began my distancing from the church and all. like he was so influential in my town and such and i started to think of all the deaths of people i knew recently… it all just hit at once man. it was a beautiful monologue and one that really hit close to home (too close if you ask me)

but yall would not believe my frustration when fr paul “died” i was screaming at the tv HES ASPIRATING TURN HIM ON HIS SIDE GODDAMNIT like not that it wouldve changed anything but if yall ever see someone throwing up on their back… for gods sake turn them on their side LMAO but i was like tf why did he die oh nvm we gucci continue on.

the religious parallels i literally cannot get enough on. flanagan deserves the gluck gluck of a lifetime for that.

episode 4

okay starting typing while watching now

ERINS BABY IS GONE?????? the fuck?? i dont remember if she drank the wine and i cant imagine she did but if she did then why did it make the baby disappear?

but her and riley’s prayer is so simple and so beautiful. and i love how they start the our father, the prayer that riley started after his accident but never finished.

riley’s monologue about death reminded me of how much im afraid to die lmao thats i think why i was so attached to religion was because it offered a comfort as to what occurred after death.

they finna be battling over this blood lmao love that turn and the significance of greed. kinda reminds me of how i compare my relationship with religion to an addiction heheh

NOT THE SLIPUP WITH JOE’S SISTER LMAOOO poor fr paul all mixed up w his old decrepit mind

ah yes monsignor’s hat and coat… oh yeah… its all comin together

SHIT ARE THEY ABT TO KILL OFF THE MAIN MF CHARACTER??? or even worse, make him into a pious freak? all will be revealed in the next epi

will i ever complete my wips…

episode 5

i was like i started recognizing henry thomas bc i was like are the characters getting younger - yes mildred is fuckin BANGIN’ get it girl

ayo FATHER PAUL SAYING THAT THE MILITARY SHOULDNT BE ASSOCIATED WITH A COUNTRY???????????? mans is speaking the language of my coochie

im hoping that bev grows an independent conscience but i know she wont

i LOVE how they wrote in the priest’s dramatic walk off after dropping a bomb ass homily it was so perfect

okay RILEY?????? im scared shits about to hit the fan - or theyre about to fuck, or hes about to lure her to the angel… or is he keeping her from it

i love how this is devolved to my insane neuron firings

just the little sprinkles of the bible, the whole “you know who i am” and the doubting thomas stuff i love it.

the series itself has kinda strayed from the original and old traditional beauty of church but im always invested in a mystery that flanagan produces

i just love that it has spiraled into putting things in the place of a proverbial god, i mean all things can become a “god” in their lives but this especially, and putting it under the guise of the christian god; so interesting. im not gonna read an article of an interview w flanagan that i found bc i dont wanna spoil it but im so intrigued as to what drove him to make this

also how people are only accepted into the flock once again when they have some spectacular miracle so to speak. like bev wouldve never looked at riley if he hadnt been changed

is riley gonna nom nom on erin orrrr…

their relationship >>>

WAIT HIS DREAM oh my god hes gonna wait for the sunrise. and hes gonna have his dream and hes gonna die

tara beth.

6

wowee ladies and germs here we are. erin greene redeems this show and i want so badly for her to escape the island because shes always had the best chance of living away from it but she wont so.

sarah is a fucking g. lets go lesbians.

yo if dolly’s crying… easter vigil is abt to be a mf sacrifice. everyones about to be “converted,” shall we say

im gonna fuck the sheriff

the procession to the church… the doxology… fucking art.

hassans like the one fucking time i go to church….

the angels like… lemme fuckin strut this aisle. its giving… moira during david’s wedding

millie was the g.

ed was the g.

well thank god leeza’s not in a wheelchair anymore

okay millie’s back i have a feeling her confrontation w sarah is gonna make me cry

i have a sneaking suspicion that ali’s gonna kill his dad

7

i hate how i say that all these people are dead like they arent coming back

annie the mf g though holy fuck.

“he wasnt exactly celibate” sarah is def monsignors kid theres no doubt abt that. how does it feel to have a heathen gay child father??????? hahahhahahahaha

yoooo bev’s retelling revelation with the blood dripping down her chin >>>

beverly, the budding arsonist

i really appreciate how bev’s whole rage over cherry picking god when shes the one that blows religion completely out of proportion. and thats the whole idea of it

“at that dinner, at that last dinner, i would’ve-“ “they know”

oh fuck. grief machine go brrrr. wanna hear me overshare bc i wanna overshare. the last time i saw my uncle my parents started a political discussion. yup. and then i left to see my friends. i dont even remember if i told him that i loved him. so holding in hope to leeza’s words with this one.

sarah… sarah sarah sarah… “it was a gift-“ “and [she] spat it out”

theyre gonna watch the sunrise burying sarah.

ali im CRYING

fuck bev literally half her words are from the bible yet she shoots hassan before he can finish one verse

oh my god erin clipping the angels wings. that is all. that is fucking all.

die alone bev watching all your manipulation burn

needless to say the second ali said “allahu akbar” i was shitting crying

bev digging her own grave like she had been the whole fucking time

and everyone singing together. hot damn flanagan sure knows how to end a series

and how else to end something with a jarring dialogue like “i cant feel my legs”

leeza, the impetus for the majority of the series, one of the most purely devout souls (i was leeza in high school going to daily mass every morn and so on), tells us that its all for naught, that it all wears off eventually.

flanagan you are blessed. idk if i can say that, but what a mastermind.

[yellow-h00die]

The Avatar of Pride: A Lucifer One-shot

A/N: Slight spoiler ahead!!! I have recently become obssessed with Obey Me! and baby boy Leviathan :(( so i decided to indulge myself in some filth of my own with none other than the eldest!! this was inspired by that one convo MC has with luci about him coddling them too much according to his brothers. Anyway!!! this was written with the female body in mind so do tell me if yall want one with a male body instead!! love yall!!

tags: dubcon, fingering, dom!luci, jealousy, really soft aftercare, confession

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you had gotten a text from Lucifer about a concern he had and wanted to come to your room to talk about it in person because "I'd very much like it if I could see how you would genuinely react to the issue."

So here you were, getting ready for bed because it's way past the time Lucifer said the two of you would meet. You were brushing your teeth when three prompt knocks resounded from your door.

Mammon... you thought.

Not bothering to finish brushing, you walked to your door with your toothbrush still in your mouth and opened it.

"Mammon you can't sleep here again, you cling to--"

"Good evening, so--"

Lucifer stood outside your door and froze when he saw you with the brush still in your mouth, froth surrounding your lips. He coughed and took a deep breath in.

"I believe I am interrupting something. I'm sorry I came late, Lord Diavolo had me filing some paperwork from one of the clubs that were asking for permission. I shall take my leave and talk to you tomorrow," Lucifer said, gently bowing his head and turning to leave.

"Wait!" you exclaimed, reaching out to grab his arm. "It's okay, I wasn't about to go to sleep yet. I just thought Mammon came by again, let me just finish brushing my teeth. Please come in."

You opened the door wider and pulled him in. He closed the door behind him and sat down on the foot of the bed. He waited for you to finish brushing your teeth then sitting down next to him with your legs crossed.

"So, what was it you wanted to talk about?" you asked.

"I have gotten... complaints from my brothers that I've been coddling you too much. I wanted to know if that was how you also thought," he answered briefly, keeping his arms crossed on his chest and jis eyes trained forward.

"Coddling? I haven't even noticed. I mean, you're kind Luci. Kinda strict but still so very kind," you told him, pulling his left hand and placing his gloved hand into yours.

"And I'm thankful for your kindness," you smiled. You then stood up and stretched up and out. "And maybe you know, they could just be jealous."

"Well, what's there not to be jealous about?" Lucifer chuckled, placing his elbows on his knees and leaning on them. He peered up at you as you stood and stretched.

"Was that all you wanted to talk about?" you asked, turning around to face him again.

He nodded and stood up, putting his hand on his chest and bowing slightly. "Thank you for accommodating me for such a short time, dear."

You smiled and skipped to where your door is, turning the knob.

"Well actually there is still one more thing," Lucifer said, his voice suddenly too close. You spun around to ask him but was met with his body blocking your vision and his arms caging you between his towering stature and the door. Fierce eyes peering at you, staring right into you that you think he's looking at your soul.

"You mentioned stupid Mammon earlier, and said you thought he came by again. Does he.. visit often?" He asked, raking his eyes over your entire body as he talked and landing on your own eyes.

"N-not really. He comes by pretty late sometimes and clings to me in bed--" you replied, a blush starting to heat up your cheeks.

"Clings?" Lucifer asked, the reds in his eyes glowing a little bit more than earlier.

"W-we don't do anything else I swear! He just cuddles me out of nowhere--" you said as the blush crept down to your neck.

"Unforgivable," he bitterly said as he suddenly kissed you, cupping your cheek with one hand. You whimpered at the sudden kiss, but didn't complain. Lucifer's kiss was soft and tame, the complete opposite of what's going on in his eyes which have turned a true crimson red. He pulled away from the kiss and sighed.

"I guess, there is still some things I get jealous about," he said before taking your lips again. This time the kiss is hungrier, more passionate, almost feral.

You pulled away gasping for air, a string of saliva connecting you two.

"Luci--"

Giving you no time to talk, he attack your lips again. This time pushing his tongue past your lips and playing with yours, easily dominating your tongue and sucking on it. You felt your knees become weaker as the kiss grows longer and more lewd. Lucifer takes note of this and quickly holds you close. He leads you to the bed and sits you down by the middle, in the middle of his legs and your back to his chest. He shrugs off his coat and starts kissing your neck, his hands roaming around the exposed skin before settling on your clothed core and your neck.

"So tell me, Y/N. Do you enjoy having my brothers come to your room in the middle of the night to cling to you while you're asleep, hm?" he asked, his right hand gently massaging the cloth near your heat. The fabric there already starting to be moist.

"I wonder then, have they seen you like this? All dolled up and ready to be taken at a moment's notice?" His left hand slides down to your chest, deftly swiping over your nipple repeatedly until it pushed against the fabric.

"I wonder, if you've been taken in a similar manner as this," Lucifer said as he raised up his hand to his mouth, biting the fingertip of the glove and pulling his hand out, tossing the glove to the side whike his hand trailed back down to your clothed heat.

"N-no, I mean--" you started but immediately cut short when Lucifer's bare hand plunged into your shorts and straight to your folds, quickly placing a finger on each side of your clit. You arched your body against his and gasped. He started to gently pinch your clit, sending jolts of pleasure through your body.

"I wonder, what can my brothers do that I cannot? Has stupid Mammon seen you like this, hm? You riding him until you're all spent and sputtering nonsense with his dick still in you?"

Lucifer kept on stimulating your clit as he asked you questions, your hands gripping on his thighs on either side of you. You whimper at his fingers' ministrations, failing miserably to keep your legs closed.

"Open your legs wider, love, else I'll have to tie them to your bed posts," he said, stopping abruptly to use his own legs to open yours wider, hooking them around your lower leg and pulling you wide open.

"Or how about Levi? He's played oh so many of those otome games that I'm sure he knows how to get into your pants," Lucifer swiped his finger over a nipple, twisting and pinching it between his thumb and index finger and marvelling at the wonderful gasps he pulls out of your mouth.

His hand stops and withdraws from inside your shorts just to quickly pull your shorts and underwear down to your ankles. He spreads you open with his fingers and gingerly slides a finger in, earning himself a sweet moan. He feels around in the pulsating heat, savoring the feeling of you clenching around his one finger.

"I wonder if Satan had already prodded around here, looking for the same thing I am," he kept poking around inside until you suddenly jolted up and tensed. He devilishly smiles and presses there long and firm. He plants kisses on your exposed neck as his left hand comes down to your clit. The leather cold against hot skin.

"I'm sure Asmo would have experimented on this," he said with another firm touch to your gspot, emphasizing his words. "He is the Avatar of Lust after all."

He pulls his finger out and brings it to his lips, licking up the juices he got from you and humming to himself.

"Oh and Beel, I wonder if he had eaten you out. Sucking and licking to milk out your delicious moans as if he wanted nothing more than to devour you whole," he said, sliding his hand back down to your core and slipping two fingers in easily.

"No.. I--!"His fingers curl inside you, pressing on your sweet spot repeatedly. You clenched around his fingers as both hands got to work, his left hand further stimulating your clit.

You moan loudly close to his ear and it takes all his willpower not to bite down on your neck. He hurriedly slips in a third finger and starts pumping them in and out.

"What about Belphie then? He's got enough passion and hatred for humanity to rail you down on his bed until you can't walk in the morning. Would you like that?" He asked, his pace unfaltering as he continued to fuck you with his fingers.

You shook your head and whimpered, "n-no.. don't wanna.."

Lucifer chuckled, leaving small lovebites and hickey on your neck and jaw. "No? What do you mean no?" he asked.

"O-only.. only.. aah... Lucifer..." you said in between moans, turning your head to face him and pull his jead towards yours, sealing his lips back into a kiss.

He quickens his pace and swallows the moans that came from your mouth. He pulls away and smirks as he observes your face.

"Louder my dearest, I can't hear you," he teased. Plunging his fingers harder and deeper inside.

"Who am I, love? Tell me, whose fingers are pleasuring you right now?"

"Y-you... Lucifer..~ f-fu..ck... the Avatar of P-pride..!" you said as you squirmed, feeling your orgasm build up in the pit of your stomach.

"I still can't hear you, dearie. Louder baby, so everyone can hear who they can't ever hope to win against." Lucifer said, curling his fingers up he pumps them in and out, repeatedly hitting your sweet spot that has you screaming Lucifer's name.

He keeps at it until you cum, clenching tightly around his fingers and twitching as he helped you ride out your orgasm.

Lucifer gently lays you down on your bed then goes to your bathroom to get a wet towel. He comes back to wipe his hands off then proceeds to clean you and put your shorts and underwear back on. He places you on your pillows, your body limp from most probably the best orgasm you've had since coming to Devildom. He places a kiss on your forehead and picks his coat from the floor when he suddenly felt a tug on his sleeve.

"Stay the night Luci..." you said groggily.

He simply chuckled and hung his coat on the back of a chair then pulling off his shoes, tie, and taking off his white dress shirt. He scoots close to you and pulls you close to his chest.

"Lucifer, none of your brothers has ever, ever, done anything like that to me," you said, your voice muffled against his chest. Laughter rumbled from infront of you and you looked up at him who was smiling.

"I know, and that's something they can be jealous of even more. But you're still mine, that is, if you'll have me."

You blinked and it took a few seconds for you to register that he was confessing his feelings for you, which earned you a gentle bonk to your forehead and a hearty chuckle from the eldest.

"You need not answer immediately, I just want you to know that. Now we must sleep, it's still school noght after all," he said as he snapped his fingers and all the lights turned off. He hugged you tight and sighed, pressing a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

"Good night love."

"Good night Lucifer, I love you too."

[fishoutofcamelot]

Zombie symbolism in media? Body snatchers? That sounds extremely interesting 👀👀👀

OOOOOOOOOOH ARE YOU READY FOR ME TO RANT? CUZ I’M GONNA RANT BABY. YALL WANNA SEE HOW HARD I CAN HYPERFIXATE???

I’ll leave my ramblings under the cut.

The Bodysnatchers thing is a bit quicker to explain so I’ll start with that. Basically, Invasion of the Body Snatchers was released in 1956, about a small town where the people are slowly but surely replaced and replicated by emotionless hivemind pod aliens. It was a pretty obvious metaphor for the red scare and America’s fear of the ‘growing threat of communism’ invading their society. A communist could look like anyone and be anyone, after all.

Naturally, the bodysnatcher concept got rebooted a few times - Invasion of the Bodysnatchers (1978), Body Snatchers (1993), and The Invasion (2007), just off the top of my head. You’re all probably very familiar with the core concept: people are slowly being replaced by foreign duplicates. 

But while the monster has remained roughly the same, the theme has not. In earlier renditions, Bodysnatchers symbolized communism. But in later renditions, the narratives shifted to symbolize freedom of expression and individualism - that is, people’s ability to express and think for themselves being taken away. That’s because freedom of thought/individuality is a much more pressing threat on our minds in the current climate. Most people aren’t scared of communists anymore, but we are scared of having our free will taken away from us. 

The best indicator of the era in which a story is created is its villain. Stories written circa 9/11 have villains that are foreign, because foreign terrorism was a big fear in the early 2000s. In the past, villains were black people, because white people were racist (and still are, but more blatantly so in the past). 

Alright, now for the fun part.

ZOMBIES

Although the concept has existed in Haitian voodooism for ages, the first instance of zombies in western fiction was a book called The Magic Island written by William Seabrook in 1929. Basically ol Seabrook took a trip to Haiti and saw all the slaves acting tired and ‘brutish’ and, having learned about the voodoo ‘zombi’, believed the slaves were zombies, and thus put them in his book.

The first zombie story in film was actually an adaptation of Seabrook’s accounts, called White Zombie (1932). It was about a couple who takes a trip to Haiti, only for the woman to be turned into a zombie and enchanted into being a Haitian’s romantic slave. SUPER racist, if you couldn’t tell, but not only does it reflect the state of entertainment of the era - Dracula and Frankenstein had both been released around the same time - but it also reflects American cultural fears. That is, the fear of white people losing their authoritative control over the world. White fright.

Naturally, the box office success of White Zombie inspired a whole bunch of other remakes and spinoffs in the newly minted zombie genre, most of them taking a similar Haitian voodoo approach. Within a decade, zombies had grown from an obscure bit of Haitian lore to a fully integrated part of American pop culture. Movies, songs, books, cocktails, etc. 

But this was also a time for WWII to roll around and, much like the Bodysnatchers, zombie symbolism evolved to fit the times. Now zombies experienced a shift from white fright and ethnic spirituality to something a bit more secular. Now they were a product of foreign science created to perpetuate warmongering schemes. In King of Zombies (1941), a spy uses zombies to try and force a US Admiral to share his secrets. And Steve Sekely’s Revenge of the Zombies (1943) became the first instance of Nazi zombies. 

Then came the atom bomb, and once more zombie symbolism shifted to fears of radiation and communism. The most on-the-nose example of this is Creature With the Atom Brain (1955).

Then came the Vietnam War, and people started fearing an uncontrollable, unconscionable military. In Night of the Living Dead (1968), zombies were caused by radiation from a space probe, combining both nuclear and space-race motifs, as well as a harsh government that would cause you just as much problems as the zombies. One could argue that the zombies in the Living Dead series represent military soldiers, or more likely the military-industrial complex as a whole, which is presented as mindless in its pursuit of violence.

The Living Dead series also introduced a new mainstay to the genre: guns. Military stuff. Fighting. Battle. And that became a major milestone in the evolution of zombie representation in media. This was only exacerbated by the political climate of the time. In the latter half of the 20th century, there were a lot of wars. Vietnam, Korea, Arab Spring, Bay of Pigs, America’s various invasions and attacks on Middle Eastern nations, etc. Naturally the public were concerned by all this fighting, and the nature of zombie fiction very much evolved to match this.

But the late 1900s weren’t just a place of war. They were also a place of increasing economic disparity and inequal wealth distribution. In the 70s and 80s, the wage gap widened astronomically, while consumerism remained steadily on the rise. And so, zombies symbolized something else: late-stage capitalism. Specifically, capitalist consumption - mindless consumption. For example, in Dawn of the Dead (1978), zombies attack a mall, and with it the hedonistic lifestyles of the people taking refuge there. This iteration props up zombies as the consumers, and it is their mindless consumption that causes the fall of the very system they were overindulging in.

Then there was the AIDS scare, and the zombie threat evolved to match something that we can all vibe with here in the time of COVID: contagion. Now the zombie condition was something you could get infected with and turn into. In a video game called Resident Evil (1996), the main antagonist was a pharmaceutical company called the Umbrella Corporation that’s been experimenting with viruses and bio-warfare. In 28 Days Later (2002), viral apes escape a research lab and infect an unsuspecting public.

Nowadays, zombies are a means of expressing our contemporary fears of apocalypse. It’s no secret that the world has been on the brink for a while now, and everyone is waiting with bated breath for the other shoe to drop. Post-apocalypse zombie movies act as simultaneous male power fantasy, expression of contemporary cynicism, an expression of war sentiments, and a product of the zombie’s storied symbolic history. People are no longer able to trust the government, and in many ways people have a hard time trusting each other, and this manifests as an every-man-for-himself survivalist narrative. 

So why have zombies endured for so long, despite changing so much? Why are we so fascinated by them? Well, many say that it’s because zombies are a way for us to express our fears of apocalypse. Communism, radiation, contagion - these are all threats to the country’s wellbeing. Some might even say that zombies represent a threat to conversative America/white nationalism, what with the inclusion of voodooism, foreign entities, and late-stage capitalism being viewed as enemies.

Personally, I might partly agree with the conservative America thing, but I don’t think zombies exist to project our fears onto. That’s just how villains and monsters work in general. In fiction, the conflict’s stakes don’t hit home unless the villain is intimidating. The hero has to fight something scary for us to be invested in their struggles. But the definition of what makes something scary is different for every different generation and social group. Maybe that scary thing is foreign invaders, or illness, or losing a loved one, or a government takeover. As such, the stories of that era mold to fit the fears of that era. It’s why we see so many government conspiracy thrillers right now; it’s because we’re all afraid of the government and what it can do to us.

So if projecting societal fears onto the story’s villain is a commonplace practice, then what makes zombies so special? Why have they lasted so long and so prevalently? I would argue it’s because the concept of a zombie, at its core, plays at a long-standing American ideal: freedom.

Why did people migrate to the New World? Religious freedom. Why did we start the Revolutionary War and become our own country? Freedom from England’s authority. Why was the Civil War a thing? The south wanted freedom from the north - and in a remarkable display of irony, they wanted to use that freedom to oppress black people. Why are we so obsessed with capitalism? Economic freedom.

Look back at each symbolic iteration of the zombie. What’s the common thread? In the 20s/30s, it was about white fright. The fear that black people could rise up against them and take away their perceived ‘freedom’ (which was really just tyrannical authority, but whatever). During WWII, it was about foreign threats coming in and taking over our country. During Vietnam, it became about our military spinning out of control and hecking things up for the rest of us. In the 80s/90s, it was about capitalism turning us into mindless consumers. Then it was about plagues and hiveminds and the collapse of society as a whole, destroying everything we thought we knew and throwing our whole lives into disarray. In just about every symbolic iteration, freedom and power have been major elements under threat.

And even deeper than that, what is a zombie? It’s someone who, for whatever reason, is a mindlessly violent creature that cannot think beyond base animal impulses and a desire to consume flesh. You can no longer think for yourself. Everything that made you who you are is gone.

Becoming a zombie is the ultimate violation of someone’s personal freedom. And that terrifies Americans.

Although an interesting - and concerning - phenomenon is this new wave of wish fulfillment zombie-ism. You know, the gun-toting action movie hero who has the personality of soggy toast and a jaw so chiseled it could decapitate the undead. That violent survivalist notion of living off the grid and being a total badass all the while. It speaks to men who, for whatever reason, feel their masculinity and dominance is under threat. So they project their desires to compensate for their lack of masculine control onto zombie fiction, granting them personal freedom from obligations and expectations (and feminism) to live out their solo macho fantasies by engaging in low- to no-consequence combat. And in doing so, completely disregarding the fact that those same zombies were once people who cruelly had their freedom of self ripped away from them. Gaining their own freedom through the persecution of others (zombies). And if that doesn’t sum up the white conservative experience, I don’t know what does.

So yeah. That’s zombies, y’all.

Thanks for the ask!

[nctrenjunie]

00line reaction seeing you in revealing clothes~(M)

Author: Sera

Genre: Fluffy & Smutty

Warnings: If you have any problems with mature content written about the nct 00liners, just don´t read it.

Comment: So it´s the first time writing this reaction thingy but I had fun and I hope yall can enjoy it and I hope I got what you requested. 

Request: Can you write an reaction to 00 seeing you in revealing clothes for the first time like a crop top n shorts or something

Renjun:

You took of your boyfriends hoodie while he entered your bedroom. Renjuns eyes opened wide as he saw you only in your bra and your worn out shorts, that you only wore at home when you didn't plan to go out. You were about to open the bathroom door to go shower but a hand stopped your from pressing down the door knob. You looked back, glancing straight up into Renjuns dark eyes, filled with lust, still a slight blush on his cheeks. Taking your hand in his he turned you around, pressing your body against the wall.

“You look so cute and hot at the same time. Mind if I join the shower?”

I think Renjun would be pretty flustered at the beginning seeing more of your skin than usual but after some time he would try to control himself and show how confident he is.

Jeno:

You looked for your boyfriend through the crowd on the dance floor. The thin layer of your crop top wasn't really protecting you from the touches from other people around. Taking out your phone you try to call him, still looking around the crowd until you feel someone behind you. Turning around you are met face to face with a completely stranger. You ignored his tries to hit on you, shocked as someone pulled you into his body. Your back hit your boyfriends chest that you immediately recognized, feeling as his lips started to wander down your neck to your collarbone, sucking hickeys in your skin. The guy that was before you, suddenly disappeared.

“ I told you you look to hot in these clothes, this is only mine baby.”

I think Jeno would find it attractive if you feel comfortable in the things you wear and would love to feel more of your bare skin against his. So if you would wear more revealing clothes he wouldn't hesitate to cuddle and have a lot of skinship.

Haechan:

You fell asleep on your boyfriends bed after waiting for him to come back from practice. Haechan arrived home entering the bedroom were he found you curled up under the blanket. After showering Haechan got into his bed, pulling himself under the blanket. Wrapping his arm around your waist and putting his leg over yours he suddenly realizes your not so clothed body. Looking under the blanket Haechan sees your loose shirt hanging on you and your black underwear. Trying to control himself, Haechan feels his cock growing in his sweatpants. You let out a light sigh, feeling him pressing against your thigh. Forgetting about your sleep, Haechan starts to wander his hand down to your legs, while his lips left butterfly kisses on your collarbone. Feeling his hand against your core, you started to wake up.

“I really wanted to let you sleep, but in this you made me really needy babygirl.”

I think Haechan would love seeing you in more revealing clothes and he wouldn't be able to control his hands. He would love touching you. But he would get pretty possessive and jealous if you would wear them in front of other people.

Jaemin:

You felt two prominent arms wrap around your waist, feeling Jaemins hands against your revealed belly. You were visiting your boyfriend, watching movies with the other members. Jaemins eyes were glued to your body the whole day and he used every moment to get touchy with you. Leaving the bathroom, you were about to walk back into the living room before Jaemin  grabbed you into his room. Feeling his hot breath against your neck you turned around. Met with a smiley Jaemin, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, feeling his hands roaming your body.

“Ahh Im so happy to know this is all mine honey.”

I think Jaemin would be really touchy as well as Haechan and Jeno and he would love showing everyone how beautiful his girlfriend is.

[mannatea]

incoherent ranting below

so i’ve been in this constant ‘i hate men’ mood for like, weeks, probably because a coworker of mine works nights at the bar sometimes and men are unsurprisingly disgusting and hateful creatures who prey on women who dare to exist in any space, especially if that space is one that demands she serve him in any capacity, no matter how professional

and i realized something i hate about shows that are dark & gritty and claim to be (by the fans or creators) “realistic for the time” which of course everyone wants to claim = superior writing

first of all NO it’s not better just because it’s “realistic” and LOL at “life just blew chunks back then that’S JUST HOW IT WAS” like??? can we stop pretending that everyone was miserable always that’s your shitty modern air conditioning loving ass talking through your overlarge facehole. 

secondly history is written by the winners, which we know, so we mostly have rich white men who obviously still don’t have a fuCKING CLUE what goes on in their OWN GODDAMN HOMES let alone what goes on around them like are we really going to believe that what they say was real was not only real for them but like, commonplace???? lol

but even if a show managed to be 100% historically accurate, there’s no need to adhere to history because (and CHECK THIS OUT, it’s WILD) this is

a

fictional

fucking

story!!!!!!!!

anyway what i hate about gritty grimdark “”””realistic”””” pieces of media is this: 

i’m tired of them!!!!!!!!!!

and hey, maybe because they all subscribe to the same newsletter, which has some kind of nutty philosophy: to be dark and gritty we gotta deal with Controversial Awful Topics preferably in ways that feel like they cOULD be historically accurate just to acCENTUATE how terrible life can be

like man i love realism as much as the next guy, but when it’s piled on too thick it’s just a drag to stick with, you know???

i watch a mediocre tv show that wants very badly to be a wholesome family western drama. it’s called when calls the heart and it lacks diversity. it lacks good writers. it lacks a good budget. it has its good moments of course. there are some amazing characters, some lovely moving scenes... but it’s not The Family Western Drama, and so a number of fans put it down because they think it ought to be more like The Family Western Drama of the 90s: dr. quinn medicine woman. 

which was one helluva brave show for its time!! don’t get me wrong here. it dealt with scary topics for the 90s: homophobia, racism, domestic violence, and the most controversial topic they dealt with (according to lashback from viewers): hitting children is abuse.

but the characters in dr. quinn are downright HATEFUL when you look away from the main cast and their bffs. the townsfolk are all extremely racist, bigoted, sexist, violent, women-hating pigs who want to shoot literally everyone for any possible reason they can come up with. they don’t change. all they do is hate, have an episode arc of learning something or maybe some backstory that makes you feel something for them, and they go right back to being hateful again. 

and look, i do wish wcth had more courage. i do. i rEALLY do. the structure is sound. it could be so good if it tried and it had the budget. but it doesn’t, and it isn’t, and honestly? i’m okay with that.

sometimes it’s nice to have a piece of media where the men aren’t all irredeemable fuckwads!!! where i can pretend the town is made up of open minded loving people who usually mean well and aren’t hateful!

it’s soothing to watch a show where i don’t have to see men treating women with blatant disrespect, where i don’t have to look at them being viewed by the characters as property. where the saloon in the show DOESN’T HAVE whores at all, let alone whores that are OWNED BY THE OWNER and regularly treated like shit throughout the series. 

like look i get it, yall like dr. quinn cause it’s “”””realistic”””” but it’s hard to enjoy a show that’s just more of the same irl stuff i deal with AND it never gets better AND the characters all remain civil and friendly AND it’s just accepted that that’s how those characters are AND--

i mean, i get having to be civil to your neighbors because you’re the town doctor and this is now your home and you have kids to take care of!! but how can you love a town where nearly everyone in it wants your cheyanne friends dead and would shoot them themselves if given half a chance? like, i can’t love that town. and i want to love a town a tv show centers around.

gilmore girls featured stars hollow and it was a nice town. not everyone was wholesome and good but there were people to like. the town means something to the characters = it should mean something to me by proxy. who didn’t fall in love with avonlea in anne of green gables, right? hope valley is likable. colorado springs in dr. quinn is not. it’s hateful.

anyway i just wanted to vent. dr. quinn is a decent show. sometimes it’s really good. but most of the time i just sit there and prefer mediocrity. i want to like the town! i want to like the featured male characters! i want to like the world these characters come from, even if it’s not always kind to them. but in dr. quinn it’s like??? i can’t. i hate the town. it’s shit.

as a writer i want flaws. i like seeing characters change and evolve. but in dr. quinn it’s like they don’t ever change. they’re still nasty and evil and willing to turn on one another at the drop of a hat. the fans say it’s good, realistic writing. i say it’s trash writing on a good budget. again, “””dark””” material doesn’t make the writing good. if i’m gonna watch mediocrity i’d rather it be something that gives me characters and a town i enjoy seeing on the screen, even if it’s “not realistic” or “fake.”

and like, i’ve dissed when calls the heart for trying too hard to be “feminist” and accidentally going in the other direction, but at least they made an effort? at least they tRIEd to give us strong characters? sure they failed and disappointed me but i can tell there was an effort. and their failure generally didn’t ruin the characters for me, either.

it’s painful watching dr. mike forgive the evils of her fellow townspeople every single episode only for them to be fine letting her or her kids or her beau or the cheyanne or the immigrants die because of one (1) minor thing happening

(and hey i know shit like typhus was a big deal but maybe actually write the fear in there and make a real episode about it? it stops meaning something when your characters fly off the handle about lITERALLY everything. like at this point neal and i start a new episode with: who’s gonna be irredeemably evil today? hank, jake, or loren?)

dEEP BREATH

maybe i’m being a little unfair. it’s interesting to have a town of characters where some are just completely terrible people and that’s just how it is because they’re There and It’s Their Town Too and so on.

but that doesn’t mean i want to watch it. and i don’t think it necessarily means it’s a better written show, either. it’s just exhausting to me. i don’t need to see more anger. i’m tired of it. it’s everywhere.

okay okay at its core this was a rant about the bullshit fake ass “realistic media” = better media thing but also...

why would i want to subject myself to 30104012 hours of nonstop violence against women, when it’s been a part of my everyday life from the moment i stepped out of the womb?

no thanks. i hate men as a general rule but i like to indulge in the fantasy that there could be a town made up of mostly good ones!! so sue me if it means i like a shittier piece of media!! i don’t care!! I DO NOT CARE!!! i just want to think ‘hey this is a nice place these people live in and everyone has their faults but they’re not waving guns around beating up people.’

i literally don’t care how “unrealistic” that makes the show. do not care. i give...no fucks about that. let me indulge.

and also, you know what? other shows were brave in the 90s, too, but i don’t see people talking about touched by an angel even though it handled all the same topics that dr. quinn medicine woman did AND MORE

lol but i guess it’s embarrassing to admit you got something out of tbaa huh

again, don’t get me wrong. there are things i enjoy a LOT about dqmw. but boy does it piss me off to see wcth compared to it as if dqmw is this paragon of good writing that all other period dramas must aspire to, and if you don’t do literally all of these grimdark things that dqmw did, you’re not good enough...is just so exhausting. there’s nothing wrong with a show choosing to skirt the horrible things for a lighter fare. sometimes that’s just what the audience needs.

and like lmao none of this is real it’s ALL MADE UP!!!!! so who cares if abigail’s a female mayor in 1915 like

that’s the magic of fiction, babe!!!!

[sol1056]

I think all yall choreograph the asks or something. I seem to get the same topic in batches. This time, two non-anon and one anon (not counting DMs even), so I’m just going to wrap it all up together since there was a lot of overlap. 

behind the cut: where I get ideas, beta readers, writing ahead, writing fast, editing fast, dealing with OCs, writing emotional scenes, and how I learned to write. questions about publishing and agents will be in the followup.

where do you get your ideas

the ‘what if’ questions. the source might vary -- a story if it’s fanfic, or history if it’s profic. by what-if, I mean a throwaway comment, implication, plot hole, gap, or missed chance. what if the characters end canon with this other dynamic, what if the protagonist goes left instead of right at a crucial moment, what if Lý Chiêu Hoàng hadn’t been deposed as queen regnant, what if Nobunaga had survived the attack at Honnō-ji, what if Nyi Roro Kidul had founded her own people, etc. 

from there, I stage that moment in my head like a fractal, seeking out the most interesting ways everything could go wrong. what I'm looking for is an image, a bit of dialogue, capturing that moment of sacrifice, betrayal, a twist in some way. this either ends up as the precipitating event, the midpoint, or the finale (basically one of the three pivotal emotional points). then I work backwards from there. for ffic, I need to figure out how characters get from canon to that point; for profic, I figure out what kind of characters would end up there. 

do you have a beta reader

uhm. not really? I’ve asked for help a few times, when I’m not sure of a particular characterization, but other than the first chapter of Bonds (for reasons I’ll explain in the followup), I don’t usually bother. after all, it’d be horribly rude to send off a chapter and then expect anyone to respond inside of a week. let alone a few days. I envy people who have the patience to wait on a beta reader ‘cause I feel like their stories are tighter as a result, but since there are small amazonian frogs with more patience than me, I figure what I write must stand or fall on its own.

however, I do tend to bestow snippets liberally on whomever’s talking to me online while I write, and I pay attention to their reactions. in fanfic, I’ll also sometimes run a scenario past a few people to see if their gut instinct on a characterization matches mine. that might be a kind of narrow-focus beta reading, maybe.

do you write some/all before you post

nope. I totally post-as-I-go (and yes that does mean at some point I was writing about 6K nightly, I’m not proud). if you said I had to write the entire thing, edit carefully, review, even let it sit for awhile before posting, I’d probably hurt something. or I’d just explode from the enforced waiting.

for profic first draft (or fanfic final draft, same thing), I plan 2-3 chapters in advance. then I write until the word count hits 6K or so, call it a chapter, post, and start on the next chapter. I do that until I run out of plan. then I assess again, figure out the next few chapters’ plan, and repeat until the story feels done.

how do you write so fast 

because a) I type fast, and b) you’re reading what’s effectively the first draft. writing that first go-round is always quick. I just sit down and spit out words. it’s polishing it into profic-levels, that editing phase, that can take weeks, even months. I’ve written pivotal scenes from scratch five, six, seven times if that’s what it takes. you’re just benefiting from my laziness with fanfic, basically.

how do you edit so fast

actually, I don’t. I tend to do it in fits and starts. even fanfic, if you compared first version posted with the current version, you’ll find changes here and there. mostly smoothing choppy parts, disambiguating, or just clarifying a muddy description. sometimes readers report a phrase felt wrong, or didn’t make sense, and I’ll tweak the offending line. 

there are tricks to make it easier, though. 

for profic, I write in scrivener, with a font of Open Sans, Lato, or Avenir, depending on my mood. a first pass of editing for the glaring issues, then I shift to full-screen display and change the font to Baskerville Old Face, Perpetua, or Oregon LDO. the radical font-change means sentences don’t end visually where they did before, and the serif element means I have to slow down slightly to read, a lot more will leap out at me. with fanfic, I write in google docs and post in AO3, but otherwise the font-changing process is similar.  

how do you keep OCs from taking over

an OC is just a character who was -- or might’ve been -- in canon but had no lines. they’re third person from the left, in that crowd scene in episode 17. they occupy the same world, and they have a story of their own -- it’s just not this story. they have a goal, but the core question is: does their goal support or conflict with the protagonist? there’s the tension those OCs can provide. 

on a more basic level, just don’t give them POV, and remember they exist to push the protagonist forward, or hold the protagonist back. if the reverse happens -- the protagonist pushes the OC forward, or holds the OC back -- then you’ve made the OC a major character and now the story’s warping to suit their goals. the focus must remain on the protagonist; it’s their story, after all.  

how do you write a character’s emotion so the reader feels it

use restraint. a scene’s strongest emotion lies in the gaps between what the characters are telling and what they’re showing. restraint is how you create those gaps.

avoid the impulse to ever say the character feels anger, feels joy. instead, have the character do something or say something that expresses the emotion. 

also, either we acknowledge an emotion, or we don’t. the first has no conflict, kiss of death for tension. the second, though, that’s basically a fight scene: the conflict is between the character and their own emotions. the key is choosing between word and deed to show the character’s purpose (narration or dialogue vs action). whatever’s left becomes the other half of the conflict. 

use scent, taste, sensation, sight, sound to project the emotion, distance it from the character. like, they can breathe fine but the air is stuffy. their hand isn’t shaking; the paper just won’t hold still. leave it to the reader to draw a line between the narrative’s tone and the character’s mental/emotional state.  

second, keep the sentences relatively short. think of the jump cuts in a filmed fight scene (or sex scene) -- you don’t need to see every move. that gets boring, fast. show only enough for the reader to connect the dots; what they put in the gaps will always be far more powerful for them than anything you'll achieve when spelling it all out. 

here’s the real challenge, and one of the hardest kinds of scenes to write (but so satisfying when you nail it) -- a character who acknowledges one emotion while denying the truth beneath. this is the character who’s furious but refuses to admit the hurt powering that anger. or the character who’s happy on the surface but jealous or broken-hearted beneath.  

my advice: overwrite the scene, take it to eleven... and then go back and cut one line in every four of dialogue, then do the same in the narrative. keep only the strongest lines. do another pass. keep going until the scene is down to a quarter the original length, and see what you’ve got. 

how do you write so well

err, okay, setting aside the discomfort of being asked that -- ‘cause I see flaws all over the place, starting with just plain overwriting, srsly, is that word count really necessary -- whatever skill I do have, I learned in one simple way.  

by critiquing other writers, and getting critiques in turn.

not beta-readers -- my experience with beta readers is that they don’t really tackle the story, though they may comment on characterization. mostly I’ve only ever gotten line edits (spelling, grammar, punctuation) and... that’s not really a critique, that’s a copy editor’s work. it’s valuable, but not what I mean.

a critique analyzes the work. they mark illogical or unrealistic dialogue, note missed opportunities for rising tension, point out potential plot holes or discrepancies. a good critique is sensitive to spikes and lulls in the pacing, and at a line-level it’s often attuned to repetition or ambiguity in word choice, muddy metaphors, even the ‘sound’ of the prose.

for every critique you do, you’re training your inner editor. I don’t catch everything (certainly never on the first pass), but having a stronger inner editor means being able to reflexively identify weaknesses. plus, exposure to other stories teaches you ways to fix those mistakes. to the point I sometimes edit as I write ‘cause I can already see what needs fixing.  

lastly

if you want to write better, read better. critique everything. 

this is not criticism, this is critique. this is why I post meta about whatever I’m reading/watching. by approaching a story through that analytical lens, I can peel apart what works (for me) and what fails (for me) and study my reaction. the goal is to duplicate what works and avoid what doesn’t.

you can’t learn to build a car engine just by looking at the outside of a car, after all. you gotta get in there, get the dirt and grease up to your elbows. take it down to the bolts, understand how it got put together. the same goes for writing. never be afraid to take apart anyone’s stories to see how they work. 

and then, go write.