#the crazy rich viscount who loved me

[dreamyfanfix]

Chapter 2: It Shouldn't Hurt

Past (2 Years Ago):

Anthony had to admit it. That was the most eventful PTA meeting of all time. After Kate sat down, Portia proceeded to give out more information about the new processes that would be implemented, at Mayfair Girls, at the beginning of the term.

First: The school was going to adjust its classes to meet the standards of their new entries. The classes would now be separated by grade average which meant those who excelled would be able to take AP classes and kids who struggled would be with teachers who were known for explaining better and getting concepts across to struggling kids. Parents were not happy with this but Anthony could see some nodding teachers. The idea that kids would feel less than others was a fear but it became clear that this was also being done by subject as many kids only struggled in one area and the school wanted to make sure the students were well-rounded when they graduated.  Anthony, surprisingly, had no problems with this. His sister Francesca had spent so long ignoring some of her subjects that she was behind and catching up was taking up more time than just plain old studying.

Second: All extracurriculars would have reentry tryouts. This one caused the biggest stir in the room as many of the parents in the room bonded over their daughters' mutual extracurriculars.  Anthony, again, was actually happy about this. Eloise had been working on her social skills through the break and he hoped that she could have a retry into Debate, Public Speaking and Academic Decathlon.

Third: The school was adding mandatory 'Social Impact' lessons. These lessons funded by a Social Worker most of the time, would be lessons the girls would need in learning about those less fortunate or about social issues of the world. The girls would be volunteering at different organisations for increasing their awareness of social issues again emphasising the need for well-rounded graduates. Anthony thought all the eyes in the room were gonna pop out of their head at the implication of this new lesson plan. Everyone looked surprised, everyone except, Anthony noted, Kate. She sat there with a smug look on her face and Anthony couldn't help but smile, she was enjoying this. 

Just then Kate's eyes found his and Anthony felt locked in place by her gaze. He nodded his head in greeting but Kate scowled and immediately went back to listening to Portia.

As parents & teachers dwindled out the door when the meeting ended. Anthony watched as some parents came up to Kate to speak to her. Some of them were congratulatory and offered thanks, others just seemed like they were curious. Kate seemed to handle it all in stride so Anthony hung back, waiting for his turn.

"Quite the entrance there Miss Sharma," Anthony remarked as he walked up to her, Anthony noticed Tom by her side and shook his hand "I'm going to take a guess that this is the lovely girlfriend you were talking about earlier Tom?"

Tom smiled oblivious to Anthony's ogling of Kate "Yes this is her. Is she not amazing?"

"Quite. It seems I am destined to learn that on multiple occasions," Anthony said looking at her properly now.

"Well Lord Bridgerton, how do you feel about the changes to the school mandates?" Kate asked with a quirked brow before Tom could pick up on Anthony's meaning.

"Oh I love them," Anthony said and both Tom and Kate's eyes widened. Anthony smiled "Yeah I think these new processes will help all of our girls including your...?"

"Sister," Tom supplied.

"I think these new processes will help all of our girls, including your sister, be more well-rounded," he looked at her in a challenge.

"Is that so? Cause here I thought you would loathe these changes. I thought people like me and all the parents here today, who took buses and trains to get here should stick to our own schools?" Kate asked sourly.

Anthony's breathing hitched "You weren't supposed to hear that,"

"Why? How could I miss the opportunity for you to proclaim to the entire room how people like my sister have no business schooling with people like your sisters?" she said

"You don't understand-"

"Oh I actually think I do understand Lord Bridgerton," Kate said as she got closer to him, he suspected that Kate being quite tall herself could often intimidate men shorter than her but they were both around about the same height so all it did was bring her face closer to his and Anthony got a whiff of her "You see it seems it is not just the school that has gotten out of touch, it seems the parents and teachers need to start working to meet the standards set by hardworking children like my sister,"

Anthony had to shake his head to get the scent of her out of his mind "If this school is so below your standards, why put in such an effort to get your sister in here?"

"That's what I asked," Tom spoke for the first time in what seemed like forever.

Kate shot him a glare and Anthony felt smug before she spoke "Because a child of excellent schooling history in a fair world would get their pick of schools and that's how things should be," Kate gestured around her "Maybe if the underperforming rich kids and their parents had any self-respect or care for others they would step aside and let those with real goals and ambitions take the lead then the school wouldn't have to lower its standards to meet them,"

"That's a lot of big talk coming from someone whose sister will be enjoying the premium quality of a private school funded by endowments, private donations and exorbitant school fees that I'm sure she is not going to be contributing to,"

"I'm talking big? You literally all buddy-buddy with the Featheringtons as if, despite being in the peerage like yourself, they too are on financial aid," Anthony hesitated, he didn't know that but Kate continued "But I guess a handout isn't called a handout when you have a title,"

Anthony was really frustrated now "Look what does it matter now anyway? Your sister is attending, and the school is changing their mandates. You won,"

"I won I know that much. I'm very good at it if you can recall but I do not like being made to feel like a pariah because I stood up for my sister and did everything I could to get her the best education," Kate was now so close every breath he took he was inhaling her maddeningly distracting scent.

"So I'm supposed to feel bad because I too did all I could for my sisters?" Anthony asked.

"Okay guys you both are good siblings, might want to take a break?" Tom interjected.

It was only then that Anthony noticed that almost everyone had left the room at that point. He looked at his watch and shit, he was late.

On the car ride over to work, Anthony could not help but think about the similarities between him and Kate Sharma. She too was a protective sibling and she clearly loved herself an argument. Despite it all Anthony finally felt like he got a glimpse into who she was and he was curious to know more.

That being said Anthony knew he might have to table those thoughts because she was seeing someone and she clearly disliked him. Despite the intensity of their exchange, Anthony thought staying clear of Kate was a good bet, the idea that they would be at each other's throats for the next few years sounded exhausting and yet compelling but also Anthony felt like getting involved with her would bring up too much introspection about the life he had been living and he was not ready to deal with all of that just yet.

Yeah, he was going to stay far away from Kate Sharma.

------

4 months went by and Mayfair Girls was putting on a recital for performing arts. Select excelling students, like Edwina, had been training for this moment for 2 months. This recital was significant, Edwina had done ballet performances since she had been at Mayfair Girls but this was the first time that a school-wide performance was being put on, especially when she had only been at the school a few short months. Even though Kate felt like Edwina had more than proved she belonged at this school, Edwina felt like this was the first time she could actually shine and Kate was nervous for her sister.

Kate had taken an active role in the school since Edwina's entrance and things had gone relatively smoothly. She did often bump into other parents who were still hostile about the circumstances of their children, things did get a bit tense when the school began to rescind admissions for some students.

The Carrigan twins were the first to go, Vince Carrigan was a prolific alcohol distributor in the country and was thinking of running a campaign for a labour slot. He was not happy when his daughters had to leave the school many thought he would sue but he did not have the grounds so others thought he would use his government connections in the future to change the rules unfortunately, it never got that far. The Carrigans were out and Vince Carrigan was arrested for fraud 2 months after that.

Next to go was Prudence Featherington, this caused quite a bit of gossip because Portia was the head of the PTA.

Up to 5 girls per grade were removed from the school and Kate thought the PTA or someone else would do something to change it but apparently, the shame of not meeting the standards of Mayfair Girls was enough to satiate any possible retaliation from parents. Portia on the other hand was less than friendly whenever she bumped into Kate. Although Kate loved to remind Portia that they were both in the same boat financially so her nose need not be so high in the air. At least Penelope was still at school, she seemed like a smart girl.

None of the girls who left the school were Bridgertons and Kate was finally secure enough to admit that she was relieved. She didn't even believe that Anthony had anything to do with Eloise and Francesca's growing performance despite what she would say in arguments with him.

She doesn't even who starts them anymore. All she knows is that they would get in a room together, eye each other intensely, fake pleasantries and then argue over things. They argued over parking spaces, school uniform, his dating life and her dating life. Anthony loved remarking on her relationship with Tom. Kate hated it. Maybe she did not love Tom but she did not like that despite calling him an old friend, Anthony would mock him. It was not something she liked to see or hear from him. She often wondered if he was jealous but decided against analysing that too much because she was supposed to be staying away from Anthony.

Only they couldn't stay away from each other it seems. Anthony's best friend it turns out: Simon. She remembers when she went with him as his date to an event and was stuck in the middle of their reminiscing of old party days. Kate got quite a bit of insight into how much of a player Anthony was, I mean Simon was too but she knew that. Anthony visibly blushed when Simon brought up the open relationship debacle with Siena. Apparently, despite his being shared, Anthony was not one to share. Kate rolled her eyes at the nerve of it all.

Kate hated herself a bit for wanting to know more. When she and Anthony ended up at the bar by themselves Anthony slid a cosmopolitan in her direction and Kate took it gratefully. 

She asked if Siena was a sore spot and he blushed again and said it was complicated. Kate couldn't help herself she asked him if he was still in love with her, and she gazed at her drink the whole time.

Anthony laughed at the question and said "No. I used to think I was but lately, I've been feeling this pull to someone else that can only be attributed to deep devotion. It was never like this with Siena,"

Kate's breathing hitched, she tried to think of people she had heard or seen with Anthony and was drawing a blank. When Kate was with Anthony he tended to be singularly focused on her even if other people were chatting with them. It was exhilarating and dangerous. "Does she know?" Kate asked.

"I thought she would figure it out. I am not exactly being discreet, in fact, my siblings have called me out on it a bunch of times," Anthony said and Kate could feel his eyes on her.

Kate lost the battle she was having with her self-control and looked up at him. Anthony was now gazing at the dancefloor where Anthony's brother, Benedict, was dancing with his boyfriend Henry, in a sweet embrace.

Kate sighed and said "Well I doubt a guy with a title and a pleasing smile would have a tough time getting the woman he adores,"

Anthony looked at her with a giant smile on his face "You find my smile pleasing?"

Kate sighed "Despite being a man who thinks way too highly of himself, I cannot tell a lie,"

"So that is a yes?" Anthony asked inching closer to her.

Kate nodded and giggled at his giant puppy eyes gazing at her "Yes," and then her phone vibrated and Kate saw the message on her smartwatch. It was Tom.

"Don't worry Kate. I won't tell your boyfriend that you pine for me," Anthony said as he made his way away from the bar, from her.

"That's not what I said," Kate said walking after him.

They bickered the rest of the night and Kate felt like crap when she returned home to multiple missed messages from Tom.

Kate snapped herself back into the present and walked into the rented theatre backstage. She had gotten there early and secured a family pass for her and Mary, Kate wanted to wish Edwina good luck before the show started.

I guess Kate was not the only one who had that idea because a couple of parents lingered around backstage helping their girls get ready to perform.

Kate spotted her sister "Edwina,"

"Kate! Over here," Edwina said directing her towards one of the dressing rooms. It seemed Edwina was sharing with Francesca Bridgerton. Kate had reconciled months ago about Edwina's going friendship with Eloise Bridgerton. Both of them were incredible readers and Kate had more than once caught them asleep in the living room, books in hand.

"Hey, you nervous?" Kate asked

"Yes and no. I know I am a good dancer but everyone has bad days, I'm just hoping this isn't one of them," Edwina sighed.

"Bon, you are heads and shoulders above all the other dancers even on your worst days," Kate said hugging Edwina tightly.

"Even during December of last year?" Edwina asked.

Kate visibly shivered "Even then,"

Edwina looked at her, through the dressing room mirror, with scepticism but didn't say anything further.

"Do you need anything before you put on makeup? Water or snacks?" Kate asked.

"No, but you can keep me company for the next hour. Though you are going to have to leave and get to your seat cause you know how mom is terrible at finding her seating,"

Kate nodded, Mary was always losing her place or forgetting her row even when they went to the movie theatre.

A little while later Francesca came in with her makeup done, she was with her older sister Daphne and Anthony. In a lot of ways, Francesca looked like she could be both Daphne and Anthony's child because she looked like a mixture of them both.

The conversation in the dressing room was lively. Kate noted how Francesca was not much of a talker but she got her quips in now again. Apparently, due to the two-per-family rule, Anthony and Daphne had to wrestle with their mother for tickets. Luckily or unlucky their youngest sister, Hyacinth, started vomiting and their mother stayed behind relinquishing her ticket to Daphne.

They talked some more before Daphne said to Kate and Anthony "Why don't you two make your way out and find your seats? I can help the girls finish their makeup,"

Anthony gave Daphne a look she could not decipher and then got up, Kate did too, Mary would be here soon anyway. Kate gave Edwina a light kiss on the cheek and Anthony gave Francesca a kiss on the top of her head. The gesture was sweet it made Kate's heart constrict.

Anthony then led Kate out of the room and down the hallway.

It was quiet while they walked for a bit until Kate finally asked "Hey, did you ever get around to telling your beloved about your feelings,"

Anthony sighed, they were in the seating area now and it was still empty "No, I haven't. There's no point. She's seeing someone,"

Kate’s heart quickened as she realised his implication “Anthony be serious,”

“I am serious Kate. When have I ever not been serious?” Anthony asked.

Kate walked a few steps away from him and Anthony walked a few steps towards her “I’m confused here, Anthony. Last month you called me the 'Bane of your existence,”

“And yet you also the object of all my desires. A maddeningly frustrating combination I tell you,” Anthony spoke and he looked at her with such adoring eyes that Kate felt dumb that she hadn’t noticed his attention before.

“You never said-”

“When was I gonna tell you, Kate? PTA meetings with your mother? Clubs with Simon? When I spot you and Tom on a date?” Kate wondered when the last one could have occurred cause she didn’t remember ever seeing Anthony anywhere she was out with Tom.

Anthony reached for Kate, Kate was going to let him reach her but then her phone rang. It was Mary.

------

Concentrating during this recital was impossible. Anthony had told Kate how he felt and now she sat two rows from him, looking straight ahead. He wondered what she was thinking, what she was feeling. He felt like such a cad because Tom was a good guy, there was a point a couple of months ago when Anthony started to feel bad for slagging him off because Tom was not the problem. Anthony was the problem. He fell in love with a woman with a boyfriend.

He couldn’t even remember when it all started. He remembered first trying to avoid her and then bumping into her at PTA meetings and events. He noticed that when she was around her mother she tried to be on her best behaviour so he started taking joy in baiting her into arguments.

One day he and Kate got into a spat and Mary sent her away to get water.

Anthony felt himself flush when he saw Mary looking at him curiously “You know this is the first time 'the boy pulling on a girl’s pigtails’ story is starting to make sense to me?”

"I don't know what you mean," Anthony said to her.

"Sure, be a dear and tell Kate I went to the ladies," Mary said as she walked away.

Kate came back and Anthony informed her that Mary had gone to the bathroom "You know you and your mom are quite alike in your scrutiny?"

"Sure. Mary is a nurse so she deals with people who have done a whole bunch of weird stuff to their bodies in the hospital. It is quite interesting,"

"Yeah I mean you even look the same. The same discerning eyes,"

Anthony saw Kate go rigid and she said "That would be quite impossible but a nice thought. Mary's my stepmother she married my dad when I was 5 years old. 5 years later Edwina was born. My dad got sick when I was in law school but he didn't want me to take time off to take care of him so I actually doubled down and finished early. He died 3 years ago,"

"I'm sorry. If it's any comfort, it does get easier," Anthony replied.

"How long for you?" Kate asked.

"12 years," Anthony replied. It hadn't even occurred to him how much time had passed.

"Wait isn't your youngest sister 11?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, she was born a few months after his death. It was a tough time," Anthony explained. Usually, he was not forthcoming about his family but gave him a look into her life so he returned the gesture.

"I couldn't imagine. Edwina was a handful but at least she was 13. She could generally take care of herself," Kate responded.

“Yeah, I was the only one above 18 so anything that mother couldn’t do, I did. And there was a lot back then. Signing permission slips, pick-ups, groceries and doctor’s appointments. I kind of think that’s why I’m so organised even now. Despite things running a bit smoother now that everyone is older,” Anthony said only just realising how much he truly had to take care of, Kate put her hand on his arm and Anthony tried to ignore his speeding heart and the heat radiating off of that one spot.

“I mean I only had to worry about the fact that we were one paycheck down. I was still doing courses and training but had midnight shifts at bars and I did a bit of modeling at art studios. Anything and everything to keep us afloat. 13-year-old Edwina did not like having to learn how to take the bus and not being able to go on some school trips but once Danbury Law hired me it was a game changer. A good paycheck, way better than even my dad was providing. We finally could start having nice things again,” Kate said with a twinkle in her eye.

Anthony's heart ached for the Sharmas but mostly for Kate. It never occurred to him how dealing with his father's death would be made much harder if he also was concerned about money. If he needed a babysitter he could pay, if he was desparate he could send a car to pick up his siblings. Tutors, vacations, clothes and cars for Benedict, Colin and Daphne when they all turned 18. He even had his eyes on an electrical car for Eloise when she turned 18. Anthony wondered if anyone had ever actually gotten to spoil Kate like that since her dad had gotten sick and then he remembered Tom.

He remembered every bit of their conversation for weeks.

One night Anthony was drinking at a bar with Benedict when a guy approached him "Hello there cutie, can I get you a drink?"

"No, thanks but see that guy over there who looks similar to me?" Anthony pointed at Benedict dancing.

"Yeah he's like you but taller," The stranger said.

"He'll never let me forget it. You can buy him a drink," Anthony said.

Benedict was going through a rough patch and he needed a pick-me-up. 

Anthony on the other hand was actually having a peaceful month. I mean he would still argue with Kate when he saw her but the venom in their exchanges had lessened and they would often end their exchanges laughing. Portia had scolded them on more than one occasion during PTA meetings about their giggling interruptions but Kate's takes on Portia's attitude often made him chuckle even sometimes when Kate was not there.

The bartender had come and given the stranger, Henry, his drinks "You sure you don't want anything?"

"Yep, I'm good. Designated driver," Anthony replied.

"You know there's such a thing as Uber, love?" Henry replied.

Anthony chuckled to himself "This is exactly the conversation I was having with Kate the other day. She was giving me shit because I have drivers on stand-by instead of just taking an Uber, even though she only started taking Ubers this year," Henry smiled at him and Anthony continued "She's periodically late to everything now because she never factors in finding a driver time. The other week she was 30 minutes late to the PTA meeting because she let her Uber driver take her to a gas station so he could get snacks. I was like 'He could have kidnapped you' and she actually gasped and said 'Kaseem would never'," Anthony chuckled to himself "You know for a woman who spent her twenties studying the law she sure as hell does not know about the crimes that can happen to her. That being said if it was her sister-"

Henry cleared his throat “Anthony you’ve been talking about your girlfriend for a while now with no break,”

Anthony could feel the heat rising in his cheeks and gulped his bottle of water "Oh Kate's not my girlfriend. She's not even a friend. Besides she's seeing someone,"

"Oh. Oh," Henry said with the second 'Oh' sounding a bit softer and Anthony looked down not being able to stand the look Henry was giving him at that moment.

"We understand each despite not really coming from the same background. Actually, we don't have much in common really, she likes RnB and Jazz and I like Rock music. We really only connect because we are both the oldest," Anthony rambled.

Henry gave Anthony a knowing look and said "Relationships have been built on less," Henry began to walk away and then said "Look, maybe you guys are not endgame but it seems like she's already taking up your time even if it is just mentally. You should go for it,"

"She has a boyfriend," replied.

"Football teams have goalies," Henry replied walking away for real now.

Anthony remembered sitting in the PTA last month, waiting on Kate he wanted to show her pictures from Hyacinth's 12th birthday party. He wanted to show her she was right about Hyacinth loving the idea of a mermaid theme, he would obviously fake contrition but it worked with their dynamic. Anthony looked at his watch and realised Kate was late again, sometimes he wished he could be linked to her Uber account so he could see how far away she was. There was that option on Uber security to let you share your trip with friends and loved ones...

Loved ones.

It hit Anthony like a brick. He knew he was attracted to Kate before he knew her name. He liked their banter but over the last two months, it had become more.

He was in love with her.

Anthony scolded himself for being so stupid. He knowingly fell for a girl that is dating his friend. And even if Anthony gave himself leeway by saying Tom was not a proper friend it still didn't account for the fact that Anthony was sure Kate despised him. She hated everything he stood for. And for the first time in his life, Anthony felt shame. Shameful for throwing his money around everywhere, for treating people with less than like crap and even the idea that even if he got in a relationship he would not know what to do because he had never been in one.

Anthony sat and watched Kate, barely registering the students that went on one by one. Francesca was last as the instrument portion was last and Edwina was after intermission because the dance portion was second. Now Anthony listened as people sang and then a girl got on and she started to sing 'Dancing On My Own' by Robyn only it was a lot more slowed down, this was obviously in the mix of Calum Scott's version. Anthony felt every pang of the lyrics:

"And yeah, I know it's stupid But I just gotta see it for myself

I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh I'm right over here, why can't you see me? Oh And I'm giving it my all I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooh I keep dancing on my own, ah"

At that moment Kate got up and Anthony instinctively did the same.

"Anthony, where are you going?" Daphne asked.

Anthony didn't even stop to look at her when he said "I'll be back just now,"

Anthony felt a bit like a creep following Kate out of the theatre and down the hall. So he decided to call out her name but she just sped up so Anthony did the same.

Anthony finally saw Kate turn into the bathrooms by the dressing rooms. Not exactly main bathrooms but if the dressing room bathrooms were overflowing the performers could come out here and use them. Anthony knew too much about theatres and bathrooms thanks to the plentiful times he has seen Daphne dance.

He stopped at the door. Took a breath and opened it.

------

Present:

Kate sat anxiously with Daphne on their couch waiting and then Simon appeared "So Anthony is stable. Turns out mixing prescription drugs from different psychiatrists is not a good idea,"

Daphne sighed relieved holding her pregnant belly "Thank you, Si. Did my mom say anything else?"

"Just that he is stable. Although she was concerned about how it took so long for anyone to find him," Simon said.

"You know Anthony. He keeps to himself, everything is so close to the chest," Daphne said.

Kate must have had a look on her face because Simon asked "Is there you might know Kate?"

"Not really. You guys know Anthony a lot better than I do," even though Kate's heart was hammering with relief with Anthony's condition she still felt a pain in her chest ever since she heard the news while having breakfast with Daphne and Simon.

"Kate, I don't think that is true," Daphne said.

"I have barely spoken to the man. We broke up over a year ago," Kate said getting heated.

"Yeah but ever since the engagement and wedding it seemed like you guys were at least friendly," Daphne said.

"Ah yes, the baby shower, where he screamed at me for not finding my own family to be a part of. Where he said I ruined his life and that he wished he had never met me. You mean that baby shower?" Kate asked choking up a bit at the end. Kate always thought the decisions she made were for the greater good. Justice and all that. But as she looked at a dishevelled Anthony during Daphne and Simon's baby shower she wondered if all the decisions she had made since she agreed to be Simon's Best Person was hurting Anthony and in turn his family.

"Kate, Anthony did not mean any of those things," Daphne said trying to calm her down.

"Yeah he clearly was going through a tough time and seeing you always hurts him," Simon said.

"Well thanks for the heads up, Simon. I have been hurting him with my presence for the last 7 months now. That information would have been helpful," Kate said now preparing.

"So you could do what? Not be a part of my wedding? So you could not be a godmother to my daughter? Kate I love you and Anthony is my brother now. I was tired of living separate lives with you two," Simon said with pain in his voice.

"Kate, we missed you," Daphne said softly like she was on the verge of tears.

"Maybe it's all for the best Simon. Daphne. Cause you are right Anthony is your brother and you have to prioritise family," Kate said as she left giving them no space to answer her.

She was sad, heartbroken and overwhelmed without even thinking she drove and drove until she was outside Mayfair private hospital.

[ladysharmaa]

Cinderella story

Anthony Bridgerton x reader

summary:  Y/n lost her father when she was very young, being in the care of her stepmother and sisters. However, they started to treat her like a maid. Unable to attend the ball the Bridgerton family is hosting, Y/n tries to find ways to go, even if it is against the wish of her stepmother. There she meets Anthony who is in search of a wife, but will he continue to want to be with her after finding out who she is

a/n: i’m so not happy with this, anyway sorry for the long wait :/

part 1   part 2   part 3

"I do not care! I want to look for all the houses! For all the village! Through the ball! Anthony exclaimed to his family, who heard him for about 20 minutes with wide eyes and a shocked expression. The Viscount, the one who always swore he didn't want to marry, being dependent on someone, was losing his mind about a woman he didn't even know the name.

"Oh, he got it bad." Colin whistled under his breath to Benedict who tried to drown out a chuckle with his hand. Daphne, who was also next to Colin, gave him an elbow to shut up. Anyway, if Anthony heard him, he preferred to ignore him.

"And how are you going to do that, Anthony?" Violet asked, trying to stop her lips from turning up in a smile.

Her oldest son, finally finding someone to accompany him for the rest of his life, ending some worries of her. Although she never met the woman for whom her son was crazy for, when she saw them dance she remembered of her and Edmund. Love at first sight. It was as if they had become people around them, looking into each other's eyes with so much love that tears even came to her eyes.

"Exactly. It's not like you can break the door of all houses of town to find your mysterious woman. You'll have unwanted people's attention. Lady Whistledown has written about you, everyone is looking for her."

"Challenge me." he said to Eloise, looking at her with such determination that the family was in doubt if he would really do that. "I don't want another ball, another woman. I want her. Only her. As my wife, Viscountess and mother of my children. You can be sure I will do everything to find her."

And it wasn't a surprise when he did just that.

Meanwhile, Y/n was locked in her room for three days. Her stomach grunted from hunger since her stepmother only left her a bread in the morning and at night, already dry but that she ate without complain. Many would have worse than her, she kept remiding herself.

One of the things that had entertained her from the boredom of the days was remembering her night with Anthony. It was as if she could still feel his hand on her waist, the proximity between them. Y/N's breath was stuck in her throat every time she remembered and a flush appeared on her cheeks.

She still made a few short visits to the house, making it seem less of a prisoner, though it was only to clean or cook for her sisters. Time seemed to pass slowly. Every day was the same. Her body was sore from sleeping on the hard floor, now even more so since she didn't walk that much due to being confined to such a small space.

Her stepmother hadn't given her any further updates on what was happening in the village after the ball. Y/n knew she was naive to think Viscount had taken an interest in her, and little did she know how wrong she was. For at that moment, Anthony Bridgerton was knocking on every door in the village, rich or poor, looking for the girl who consumed his thoughts every moment of the day.

Finally, he reached the last houses where he could find the mystery girl. He couldn't deny that his hope was waning with every person he encountered who wasn't who he wanted, despite motivating comments from Benedict and Collin, who accompanied him (mostly to ensure he didn't do anything reckless or stupid).

He straightened his suit, knocking on the door of the Y/l/n mansion. Y/n's stepmother opened the doo, a shocked look crossing his face when he saw the Bridgertons before she masked it with a huge smile, immediately giving him a small bow.

"Lord Viscount, it is an honor to have you in my humble home. Gentleman." she added when she saw Anthony's brothers. "Oh, were are my manners. Please come in."

"Thank you, Lady Y/l/n. I apologize for showing up unannounced, but the matter is urgent. I would like to know if you have any daughters, maybe sisters? We would deeply appreciate it if we could meet them, again, the matter is urgent." Anthony explained with a small polite smile, despite having had enough of repeating the same conversation.

Furthermore, as people soon expected that he was talking about the woman he danced with at the ball, the young girls pretended to be her her, as if he would n't see their lie from her.

Obviously he would notice. They didn't have the delicacy that Y/n had, the flame in their eyes, the prettiest smile he'd ever seen. He would do anything to see that smile again. He soon accepted that she had him wrapped around her finger, as her siblings teased him without stopping since that night. But Anthony couldn't care less. He wanted her, her secrets, her imperfections, her bravery, her kindness. Everything. He wanted all parts of her.

"In fact I do have two daughters. I shall bring them here immediately."

Hope filled his chest again only to be destroyed when he saw two young women, with eccentric hairstyles who let out little squeals when they learned of Bridgerton's presence in their house. Y/n's two stepsisters competed against each other as they raced to try to be the first to get ahead of Anthony,

Collin and Benedict both chuckled as they watched the scene unfold, only to be silenced when Anthony sent them a murderous glare, raising their hands in surrender.

"Lord Bridgerton." the older sister bowed, pushing the other girl with her hip and showing the men an innocent smile. The two started to bicker between them while their mother spoke to the Bridgerton, telling them all about her 'talented' daughters.

The Viscount ran a hand over his tired face, offering the woman a smile before offering the excuse that it was time to leave, but that he was grateful for their hospitality. The three Bridgertons made their way out of the house, but stopped when they reached their horses and heard a soft voice sing the tune of a song Anthony knew by heart. The song that accompanied the dance between him and Y/n.

Y/n was taking up her time cleaning her room, the dust making her sneeze and preventing her from getting a full night's rest. She found herself humming the melody of a song, twirling as Anthony had done to her when they danced. A small smile appeared on her face, as it always did when she remembered her night with the Viscount.

She knew she shouldn't think about him, but how could she not when he looked at her like she was the only woman in the room. He made her feel so beautiful. It was a strange feeling for Y/n, being so comfortable in the presence of a man and wanting to be with him. Her mind navigated to different places as she swung around, continuing to hum the song absently. She was grateful for the breeze that entered her room due to the open window, a layer of sweat already covering her forehead.

But everything came to a stop when she heard the voice of the man who made his way to her heart. It couldn't be, she thought, That's it, I finally have gone crazy. However, she heard that voice again. Recovering from the shock, she bent down a little and walked silently to the window. She stuck her head out, trying to understand what was happening. And much to her surprise her, Anthony Bridgerton was at her house, talking with her stepmother.

"It seems you have another lady in your house." Anthony clenched his jaw, noticing how the woman opened her mouth but no words came out. He looked at the cat peeking through the half-open door, "Or have your cat learned how to sing?" he asked sarcastically.

"Lady Y/l/n, is any other lady living at your house?" Collin questioned, keeping his cool before his older brother got into trouble.

"Well, yes..." Y/n's stepmother admitted when he couldn't come up with a convincing enough excuse especially when it looked like the brothers were running out of patience. But she was quick to add, "But she is only a maid. You certainly don't want to talk to her. I was just saving your time, my lord."

"I can decide in what I will waste my time. Now, please, bring me the maid." Anthony asked, though everyone understood that it was more of a demand that the Lady could not refuse. She gave them an unsure smile, bowing before hurrying to Y/n's room.

When she heard the key in the lock, Y/n jumped away from the window, standing in the middle of the room confused as to what was happening when her stemother grabbed her elbow and dragged her down the stairs to the living room where the Bridgertons would be waiting. .

"You will keep your head down, not talk to them or reveal who you are. The Viscount Bridgerton wished to meet you, but you cannot let him know you are the one of the ball. You will not ruin the chance of one of my daughters becoming a Bridgerton, little girl. As your mother, I forbid you."

“You never were, and never will be my mother.” Y/n whispered but loud enough for her to hear, emotions laced in her voice as she fought back tears.

With a little push, Y/n walked into the living room, seeing Anthony standing a little farther away, his back to her. Her steomother couldn't be with her since Benedict and Collin blocked her entry, fake smiles on their faces as they asked her questions to engage in a conversation while Anthony talked to Y/n.

Hearing noise behind him, Anthony turned, her mouth opening in admiration at the sight of her. He found her, he was sure. He couldn't take his eyes off her. Y/n looked down, self-conscious of how bad her hair looked, just having brushed it a few days ago, her cheap blue dress full of dirt and in poor condition compared to the immaculate outfit Anthony wore.

But Anthony didn't notice any of that. He was focused on her eyes that seemed to look anywhere but him, her rosy cheeks, her plump lips. She was perfect for him.

"It's you." he whispered, taking a step forward, but stopped when he wasn't sure what to do next.

"Am I the one you danced at the ball? Yes, I am." she let out a nervous chuckle. She started walking slowly towards him who seemed to be stuck in place. "But I have no carriage. No diamonds. No fancy dresses. No parents. Will you accept me as I am. A simple country girl who loves you." she seemed to gasp as she realized the revelation she had made.

"Of course I will." he sounded breathless. "Only if you accept me as I am. A viscount who is still learning how to accept love. But I want to do it with you by my side."

Y/N smiled, gasping as he felt Anthony's hands on her waist, bringing her closer to him. Their foreheads touched, Anthony nuzzling her nose with his, savoring that moment knowing she finally had the woman he loved in his arms. Only their breaths could be heard although Y/n was sure Anthony could have her heart beating against her chest.

"May I kiss you?" he whispered, their lips almost touching. His hand caressed her cheek, smiling when he felt her nodding.

However, much to Anthony's annoyance, Y/n sisters ran to the room, bowing when they saw Y/n and the Bridgerton intimate position. "My sister. I'm sorry."

"Please forgive us." the other one added.

The girl looked at them, remembering all the moments they spent together. Y/n didn’t speak and that made clear how she standed. She intertwined her hand with Anthony's, the smile never fading from her lips.

"Shall we?" he questioned, pointing to the exit. He walked hand in hand with Y/n, unable to stop the feeling of pure delight and love that invaded his body. Meanwhile, the same happened to her Y/n and her stepmother, who begged for her not even forgiveness after Y/n would be the future Viscountess, could ruin her happiness.

"Welcome to the family, sister!" Collin exclaimed as he climbed onto his horse and Anthony helped her onto his. Loud laughter escaped her, her head tilting back slightly.

Anthony was in pure adoration, he was sure his heart was going to explode from love. He wanted to hear that sound for the rest of his life and would do the impossible to make it happen. Her kindness and happiness were contagious and he couldn't wait to see their future.

He then climbed onto the horse behind Y/n and brought her closer to him, if that was even possible. He finally had her, and he would never let her go. 

2 years later

Nicholas Edmund Bridgerton was running happily in the gardens of the Bridgerton summer house, being chased by his uncles while Anthony's sisters tried to help to hide the little boy. Anthony watched their game intently from his seat, resting after his siblings had taken his place playing with his son.

Anthony admired his son, his laughter warming up his heart. He was like a copy of his mother. Kind and brave with a free spirit that he definitely acquired from Y/n. A hand on his shoulder brought him out of his thoughts. Anthony turned his head, seeing his very pregnant wife behind him. Carefully, he guided her in front of him, pulling her onto his lap and immediately placing a hand on her swollen belly.

"And how are you, Viscountess Bridgerton. Did you sleep weel?" he asked with a small kiss to her lips.

"In fact I did, Viscount Bridgerton. The little one seems to only wish to sleep during the day. I guess that after you speak to her at night she gets all excited." she teased him.

"It could be a boy." he remembered her.

"I have a feeling it's a girl. Either way, they will be very loved."

"We do make pretty babies." Anthony whispered starting to kiss her her neck, tracing it with her nose, satisfied when he felt her shiver under him.

"Indeed we do, my dear husband."

"Mommy! Mommy! Daddy!" a small voice called out to them, breaking their momentum. Nick's little legs moved quickly for him to get closer to his parents and show them the flowers he'd picked. "Look, I picked them for the baby."

"They are beautiful, baby." Y/n said, letting him land them on her belly and kiss it. Tears filled her eyes which she quickly dried, mumbling how the pregnancy made her so sensitive.

Anthony brought the boy into his arms, looking at the two most important people in his life as Y/n asked their son how his day had been. They were his family, and he was so damn proud of that.

"I love you, Y/n Thank you. For everything."

"I love you, Anthony. Forever."

[ystrike1]

I Mistook the Hidden Identity of the Sub Male Lead - By 시록보다푸른 (5/10)

This was a painful read. It's an otome isekai that would be better as a regular fantasy. Everything is vague, especially the magic, and everybody is our heroines best friend. The beginning, and the villains have promise, but that fizzles away.

Mayerie is a stalker. A teenage girl with delusions of grandeur. She wants to marry Duke Ellex, even though she's a daughter of a Viscount. That Viscount doesn't have alot of money. She falls into personal debt buying red gems that match his eyes.

She gets engaged in a stupid attempt to make him jealous AND her fiance turns out to be abusive. She continues to stalk Ellex, even though he's a rich man with powerful magic, until he has to threaten to kill her to keep her away.

We're supposed to think she's a loser....but....authors have to stop doing this to me...Mayerie would have been a great protagonist. Just imagine it. A dumb teenage girl stalks her crush until he snaps, and then she realizes he's human. She tries to give up on him. She stops spending money to impress him. Maybe she grows as a person and becomes a woman worthy of marrying a Duke?????

Doesn't that sound cooler than isekai again???

Anyway Mayerie is gone forever and we're stuck with a random Korean woman, who is completely fine with becoming Mayerie and living a more decent life. She's embarrassed by the things Mayerie did. She is still Mayerie. She has all of her memories, but now she knows she's in a book. She's a minor villain and she has to play nice to escape said role.

Ellex legitimately wishes she was dead. This is potentially interesting! The dark and powerful Duke Mayerie blindly loved is actually planning her untimely d....nevermind. This lasts ten chapters. Then she touches his arm and he notices she has divine powers that can save him from his magical madness.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh.

The love interest is the crazy and powerful Prince Grandiel. He uses his magic to change his appearance. He's secretly the head of an information guild, and he's a stone cold killer. He notices that Mayerie knows he's not an idiot prince with a stutter. Everybody underestimates him. His two disguises are perfect, and yet she saw through him. He decides to hire her as a maid, so he can use her to spy on his spoiled sister Stella.

Her touch magically makes his mind reading ability more powerful too.

That's...so boring. Mayerie had no such powers in the original plot.

Ellex is supposed to save and marry the beautiful Saint Radita. Radita has incredible holy power, but her noble blood is muddy, so she got abused. Radita and Ellex join together in a marriage of convenience...oh wait no they don't. Ellex touches Mayerie first, so he becomes obsessed with her.

Grandiel tells her to call him Diel. He puts a tracker on her and he begs her to never leave him daily. Mayerie begins serving Princess Stella, but poor Stella is just misunderstood. Mayerie eventually warms her thorny heart.

....boring...

Let me guess the actual villains are boring and generic random characters...

Radita becomes a maid with Mayerie. There's...basically no mention of her Saint powers after a certain point. It's....so...annoying. There are two men in need of a woman with divine powers. Grandiel and Ellex do not need to be so thirsty for Mayerie. Radita is nice too, and if controlling their magic is that important one of them should marry Radita...but that won't happen because we need a love triangle.

There's no strategy. There's no intrigue. Grandiel and Ellex just start following her around...even though they're supposed to be doing shit. Grandiel wants to be Emperor, but everybody still thinks he's a disabled invalid by chapter thirty???? Ellex needs to control his violent power...sure but he's got duties and Mayerie was his creepy stalker. He falls in love way too fast.

The art is painful. The magic powers are all ugly. They don't even have cool names. There are no cool poses. Everybody walks around like a stick figure, and the characters have bobble heads. The whole webtoon looks cheap.

This random panel of Grandiel in disguise is one of the best. That's sad. This author shot down their own unique ideas, and I hate that. Everybody has the same face too. It's jarring. I don't think this webtoon will make it to its mediocre ending.

[esmiephan]

A little speech about Erik and The Phandom community.

If you're a phan or has been in a conversation about The Phantom of the Opera, it's obvious that you know the big controversy and hate when we talk about Erik. There are two sides of this story: the one who hates or blames Erik for being emotionally instable and call him a maniac murderer and manipulator, and the right side.

Ok lol, to be more specific. There are actually more than two sides: the Anti-Eriks who hate him and wish for him to die in agony, the Crazy Fangirls (normally teenager girls) who aprove everything he does and hate Christine for not staying with him, and the people who understand his character and the story. Let's talk about the two wrong mindsets and how they're incredibly stupid? First, the radical "purity police saint warriors" who love to curse Erik. It's impossible to be #teamErik without being harassed by this type of phan, you probably already saw some post about the shipp Cherik or giving some love and admiration to Erik, and the comments always have something like:

"Stop it, Erik is cruel and sadistic, he abused Christine, shipping them or liking Erik is wrong, you worthless abuse apologist, fuck you."

"Erik is a deformed creep murderer, stop loving him. You would never love someone such as him in real life (after all, let ME, a perfect strange online, explain how YOU are going to live your life)."

"Lol Erik is ugly, old and lives in a cellar, he's unworthy of love."

"His past doesn't justify his actions BLABLABLA😜😜🤪😜😜"

1. Idk if you guys are FUCKING AWARE, but people who shipp Cherik know it's not the most healthy relantionship in the world. Cherik shippers express how they wanted the story to be different, Erik being less possessive and Christine being less childish. That's it. It's not "haha look, kidnapping is cool, Christine is wrong about choosing Raoul", there is NOTHING WRONG in shipping Erik and Christine (well, at least not in the novel). After all, she cared for him and he loved her. It would be wrong, if it was "abuser loving victim", but that's the point. ¡ERIK IS NOT AN ABUSER!

Lying is not abusing. Lying is bad and wrong (mostly), but it's not the same as FUCKING ABUSING. Do you guys know what an abuse looks like? lol no, obviously no, or else you wouldn't call Erik one. Erik lied to Christine pretending to be "the angel", and she believed. But then she discovered he was a man, and himself says "I am no angel, nor genius, nor phantom; I am Erik". And ok, that's it. He lied to her because he wanted to be the best version of a protector for her, even still he chose to show himself as he truly is because he knew lying was wrong. Let's just remember Erik was IN LOVE with Christine, but aparently having feelings for someone and trying to be loved too is "stalking and being a maniac" (Oh! But not if he's a rich beautiful viscount!).

Erik loved Christine. During the whole fucking novel, he was there for her, teaching her how to sing, supporting her dream, helping her to be a star, letting her stay at his own house (that he keeps closed to EVERYONE!), and even helps her with the grief. That's why Christine seemed to see Erik as a father figure. And don't get me wrong, he DID wrong with her, he was jeaously and kidnapped her near to the ending. He threaten to blow the whole Opera House (suicide was something he was willing to do before this, but taking a lot of people with him was new lol), and why? Because he's a heartless monster? Because he wants to hurt people? Because he hates Christine?

No. Because he was tired of living in a world where every pretty-perfect one is happy except for him (19th french society is something we all hate yet pretend we don't lmao). Erik was having a MENTAL BREAKDOWN after he discovered: 1, that Christine LIED to him and USED HIM during their whole relantionship (after he showed himself as a man), and 2, that Raoul was going to kidnap her too. And during this insane period where Erik was being reckless, crazy and stupid, Christine comes up and does what every Anti-Erik is UNABLE to do: showing him compassion. She knew he LOVED HER, he wasn't obssessed or lustful, he LOVED HER. She knew his life was horribly painful and lonely, and she knew that "insane maniac willing to blow everyone" wasn't the real Erik, it was a painful, scared, angry and loveless man, lost in his own madness. Leroux Christine is so fucking damn strong. She was bravier than everyone who prefered to call Erik "a monster", she saw the kindness and love that EXISTED inside of him.

Erik saved her life TWICE and stand up for her everytime she needed. One toxic behavior THAT HE REGRETED AND FIXED destroys everything and turns him into the devil? No. It's ok not shipping Cherik. After all, Christine's love was Raoul since the start, and BOTH - not only Erik, BOTH because Christine feared his face, called him a monster because of his face, used his feeling to have favours and pampering - wronged with each other. BUT THERE IS NO ABUSE. STOP calling ANY CHARACTER DEVITARION "abuse." STOP, JESUS CHRIST.

2. The classic "Erik is a murderer". Let's talk about the original novel, ok? Joseph Buquet killed himself. When the Daroga and Raoul fall in the torture chamber, they discover that Joseph was there and killed himself with the Punjab Lasso. The novel itself says anything that happens in the theatre, people would say "it's the phantom" to get free from the guilty. A man felt from the stairs, oh my it was the phantom. An object disappeared, oh my it was the phantom. My 100 years old grandmother died, oh my it was the phantom. It's not all Erik's fault. He's living his life, trying to survive being away from the world. He didn't kill Buquet. The chandelier was a warning to the managers, Erik didn't mean to kill anyone (who told them to disobey The Phantom?). And for last, Count Phillipe was trying to break into Erik's home, it was self-defense - also, Phillipe was a stupid asshole, he deserved it. Although Erik mentions Phillipe's death was an accident and not a murder, we have to keep in mind Erik was protecting his fucking house. And before you say "ah but he killed people in Persia", go read the novel. He was forced to kill people by the Sultain, he was putted in a battle area and would be SLASHED. A young teenager boy being almost slashed by prisoners, but the victim has the blame? Fuck it. Erik is not a killer. If you kill to protect yourself, it doesnt make you an evil murderer.

Erik was actually an Anti-hero during the whole novel. Do you know what's an Anti-Hero, Erik-haters? A character that wants to help people and/or have good intentions, can show kindness and good deeds to people, but also does bad things and acts questionably. It's not a heartless monster, it's a human. Do you think we humans are good everytime and to everyone? No. My mother have traumas and emotional issues and wronged a lot with me, she already insulted me many times and got angry with stupid things. But she was NEVER a bad mother, she loved me and my brother, she always did the best to give us the good life she never had and supported us. She fought for us. Her mistakes DIDN'T MAKE HER A MONSTER OR A BAD PERSON.

Erik wronged, but he putted the things right. It's what matters.

3. Erik's house isn't connecting to the sewer. Go read about the Paris tombs and you'll see it, it's not gross, Erik's house is pretty. Using "he's old (50 years is old? Wtf??) and ugly" as an argument proves that you're petty and asshole.

4. Feeling sorry for Erik, a victim of physical and emotional abuse, it's not saying "it's ok if he kidnapps or kills". This is being... HUMAN. I'm not saying he's a saint, he isn't. Erik is a flawed person. He harrassed the managers (that's funny because they were too dumbasses, though), putted the Opera House in danger and kidnapped Christine. Even if the circunstances can explain it (explain ≠ justify), it's still wrong. As i said before, ANTI-HERO. Let's not forget that Erik was abused, neglected and treated as trash his whole life because of his deformity. His parents hated him, he was used as an object in a lot of freakshows, he was physically and emotionally mistreated by the Sultain and the Little Sultana, his talents were ignored because of his face. He was treated as a monster, he was loveless and lonely.

Oh, but he's a MAN and have emotional problems, then he's unworthy. Oh, he did questionable things in the novel, he's cruel and sadistic and deserve to die. STOP IT. GET A GRIP. Erik was a VICTIM, he was trying to start a new life, but 1 mistake means more than 100 hits, isn't it? Mistaking or having emotional instability doesn't make you a monster. If a person falls once, it doesnt mean s/he's lost forever. We have to stand up to ALL victims of abuse, and not only the ones who are saint and "perfect" according to your moral. Abuse victims deserve compassion and help, it doesn't if it's a woman, a man, or the phantom of the opera.

So, Anti-Eriks, keep in mind that Erik is NOT CRUEL, NOT AN ABUSER and NOT A KILLER. Ok, now let's talk about the other side and how it's also wrong. It's not rare finding this type of comments, normally about the 2004 movie.

"Omg Erik is sooo hot and pretty and perfect, Christine is such a bitch for not choosing him 😍😍 I would let him rape me if he wanted to 😍😍" (yes, i already saw a comment EXACTLY like this).

5. Jesus Christ. Erik would never rape you or anyone. Rape is not something you should joke about, and telling to a man you "like" that it's ok raping... it's not a praise.

6. Christine is a bitch for not chosing Erik? My friend? NOBODY deserves to be cursed because "didn't choose X person to date". Erik could be the most perfect, prettiest, flawless and hottest man on Earth, Christine is not forced to marry him. If I was her, i would choose Erik? Absolutely, i wouldn't think twice. But nobody is forced to agree with me. Christine didn't stay with Erik for 2 reasons: she loved Raoul (another toxic abusive relantionship btw), and she saw Erik as a father figure, not a husband material. You can shipp Cherik, you can wish for adaptations where they end up together (my dream <3), you can write Cherik fanfics, but stop calling Christine a bitch just because she didn't love Erik. Love has many forms, she cared for him a LOT, that's enough for him. Erik prefers her happiness than his own. You should do the same in real life, learn with Erik.

7. Erik is not perfect. My whole blog just explained about his actions, but now let's talk about his appearance. The 2004s movie is great, i love it, and Gerard Butler was good as Erik, but stop taking it as the original. Leroux Erik is not buff or handsome, he actually looks like a skeleton, this is what makes him (physically) attractive. Merik and Gerik have a lot of love and affection by the phans even though they're kinda less sympathetic than the original one (too much manipulation i guess), why does Leroux Erik has less affection? HE DESERVES LOVE!

Done. This blog ends for now, and if some damn peaceless idiot DARE to come and comment some monstrosity here about MY ERIK, i will block you. I'm not forced to deal with useless Anti-Eriks soldiers. I'll finish with something that great Gaston Leroux has left for us.

"Poor, unhappy Erik! Shall we pity him? Shall we curse him? He asked only to be 'some one,' like everybody else. But he was too ugly! And he had to hide his genius or use it to play tricks with, when, with an ordinary face, he would have been one of the most distinguished of mankind! He had a heart that could have held the entire empire of the world; and, in the end, he had to content himself with a cellar. Ah, yes, we must need pity the Opera ghost..."

[ao3feed-kathony]

The Crazy Rich Viscount Who Loved Me

by WestAllenDreams

Kate Sharma and Anthony Bridgerton used to date but Anthony's mother was not a fan because of their different social classes...

OR

A story that has a Crazy Rich Asians inspo.

Words: 5537, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M

Characters: Anthony Bridgerton, Kate Sheffield | Kate Sharma, Mary Sheffield | Mary Sharma, Violet Bridgerton, Eloise Bridgerton, Francesca Bridgerton, Edwina Sheffield | Edwina Sharma, Simon Basset, Daphne Bridgerton, Penelope Featherington, Colin Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Gregory Bridgerton, Hyacinth Bridgerton, Thomas Dorset, Siena Rosso

Relationships: Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sheffield | Kate Sharma

Additional Tags: Crazy Rich Asians inspired, Class Disparity, Anthony longing for Kate, Violet has to learn to be a better mother to Anthony, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Happily Ever After

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/48634228

[downton-bridgerton]

Imagine Édouard's parents dying when he's still small. In accordance to his father's will, he's left in Violet's custody. He ends up being raised as Robert and Rosamund's youngest brother. Many years later, when Violet fiercely opposes Robert and Cora's engagement because she's not English, young Édouard becomes her fiercest defender because "neither am I".

Okay but, I like this anon???

Like, YES TO THIS AU WHERE ÉDOUARD IS A FREAKING CRAWLEY?????? kinda reminds me of the fics that I've read where Barrow is a Crawley (which I all equally love, btw)

So uhm, call me crazy...but hear me out on this one:

Young Édouard was only 5 years old when both of his parents, the Marquis and Marquise de Montmirail died in a fire that was set in their house (a result of arson, a later finding states)

The young Édouard was the only survivor and had little memory of the fire. The family's lawyer took care of him for a while until the will was read. With no remaining family members left to take in the child, the Marquis' will states that the child will be in the care of one Violet Crawley in Yorkshire England

The lawyer and young Édouard then travelled to Downton Abbey, where they met the Earl and Countess of Grantham along with their two children: the 12 year-old Lady Rosamund and the 10 year-old Robert, Viscount Downton. At a private meeting in between the lawyer and Granthams, the will was again read in front of them and they all agreed to reveal the truth to the young boy once he turned 18. They also agreed that they will legally adopt the boy, giving him the name and title of Master (eventually Mister) Edward Crawley (using the English version of his name) and will be raised as the youngest child and son of the Earl and Countess of Grantham

Édouard, or Edward as he is now called, was loved by both his siblings, especially Robert, who loved having a younger brother. The latter and Lady Rosamund nicknamed him Édo, which is a nod to his true name. It also not quite obvious that he was adopted, since he somehow bear resemblance to the Countess. He was taught French, in playing the piano, and in art like his siblings, and eventually went to Eton like his older brother

As he finished in Eton with high honors and at the same time celebrated his 18th birthday, the truth was then said to him by both Patrick and Violet: that he was a Frenchman, his real name is Édouard de Montmirail, and that he is the rightful heir to the title of the Marquis de Montmirail

Édo was in shock of course, surprised that his English life was nothing but a lie. But at the same time, he wasn't mad at all at both his adoptive parents. In fact, he was thankful that they took him in, and they loved him as if he was their own son. Patrick Crawley assured him that they all loved him very much, and no matter what happens, he will always be a Crawley in every way possible

When he was 20, Robert announced that he was engaged to Miss Cora Levinson, a young American heiress. All of them were happy at the announcement of course, all except Violet

In a private meeting of the immediate family at the library, Robert and Violet had an argument on why he chose Cora, an American, to marry instead of an equally rich English Lady. Things got a little heated, and in Robert's defense, Édouard stood up and bravely told Violet:

“If you wouldn't let brother choose Miss Levinson as his wife, then you shouldn't have chosen me as your son years ago”

Violet: “Your situation is much different than your brother's–”

Édo: “But it's still the same! I, a Frenchman and she, an American. We are both born on foreign land, and became...or, in Miss Levinson's case, is a going to be a part of an aristocratic English family. I think Miss Levinson is a perfect match to brother. And if you still won't accept her just because of her foreign blood, then I will leave this family entirely, since I too, have foreign blood. This is seriously not fair, Mama, especially one coming from you!”

It was the first time the entire family saw Édouard enraged, which baffled even both of his siblings. He eventually apologized the day after, saying his outburst was improper. Violet, to his surprise, also apologized. She still may be a bit hesitant in accepting Cora into the family, but she said she'll give her a chance, to see if she's up to the mark

Eventually, Édo became the godfather of all three of Cora and Robert's daughters. He was, to them, the best uncle one could ever have. He spends most of his time being around them, playing and reading whenever their parents are busy. He even takes them with him whenever he travels around the village as he checks on the tenants around the Downton Estate

After he and Robert both returned from fighting in the Boer Wars, he eventually went back to France, and stay there permanently. He rebuild his family's mansion and bought a few villas of his own with the money he inherited from his biological parents. One of the Villas that he bought was the La Villa des Colombes, which will eventually be the official summer villa of The Crawley Family

Édo still foregoes by his British name and still carries the Crawley surname, and the Marquis de Montmirail was simply just a title for him. He also settled down sometime soon and had children of his own, whom he of course taught both English and French

In return, Édo and his small family also visit the Crawleys during the winter holidays in Downton, where they all spent their time together. Especially to spend time with his siblings, to catch up and some times make fun of Robert for the sake of entertainment

He may be man of two worlds, but he was a happy man at the very end

[poetlcs]

my 2022 reading wrapped 

non-fiction

black bull, ancestors and me by nkunzi zandile nkabinde / didn’t rate

canberra by paul daley / ☆☆☆☆

all about love: new visions by bell hooks / didn’t rate

how the pill changes everything: your brain on birth control by sarah e. hill / ☆☆☆.5

I’m glad my mom died by jeannette mccurdy / didn’t rate

policing desire: pornography, AIDS and the media by simon watney / didn’t rate

notes of a native son by james baldwin / didn’t rate

women race and class by angela davis 

come as you are by emily nagoski / ☆☆☆☆☆

slouching toward bethlehem by joan didion / didn’t rate

classics

the house on the strand by daphne du maurier / ☆☆☆

wide sargasso sea by jean rhys / didn’t rate

brideshead revisited by evelyn waugh / ☆☆☆☆

fantasy

iron heart by nina varela / ☆☆☆☆

elantris by brandon sanderson / ☆☆☆☆

spinning silver by naomi novak / dnf

babel, or the necessity of violence: an arcane history of the oxford translators' revolution by r.f kuang / ☆☆☆☆

a gathering of shadows by v.e schwab / ☆☆☆ (reread)

the city we became by n.k jemisin / ☆☆☆☆

come tumbling down by seanan mcguire / ☆☆☆

the wolf and the woodsman by ava reid / dnf

the atlas six by olivie blake / ☆☆☆☆

in deeper waters by f.t lukens / ☆☆

science fiction

middlegame by seanan mcguire / ☆☆☆.5

magical realism

lakelore by anna-marie mclemore / ☆☆☆

mystery/thriller/crime

in my dreams i hold a knife by ashley winstead / ☆☆☆

good rich people by eliza jane brazier / ☆☆☆

the anatomy of desire by l.r dorn / dnf

portrait of a thief by grace d. li / ☆☆

anxious people by fredrik backman / ☆☆

boy parts by eliza clark / ☆☆☆☆☆

contemporary fiction

i kissed shara wheeler by casey mcquiston / ☆☆☆☆

no hard feelings by genevieve novak / ☆☆☆☆

everyone in this room will someday be dead by emily austin / ☆☆☆☆

norwegian wood by haruki murakami / ☆☆☆.5

ophelia after all by racquel marie / ☆☆☆.5

historical fiction

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid / ☆☆☆☆☆ (reread)

the remains of the day by kazuo ishiguro / ☆☆☆☆

a thousand splendid suns by khaled hosseini /  ☆☆☆☆

carrie soto is back by taylor jenkins reid / ☆☆☆☆

pachinko by min jin lee / ☆☆☆☆.5

romance:

the spanish love deception by elena armas / ☆☆

saving the star by rachel bowdler / ☆☆ 

love and other words by christina lauren / ☆☆

crazy rich asians by kevin kwan / ☆☆☆

book lovers by emily henry / ☆☆☆☆

take a hint, dani brown by talia hibbert / ☆☆☆

beach read by emily henry / ☆☆☆

the viscount who loved me by julia quinn / dnf

open water by caleb azumah nelson / ☆☆☆☆

translated fiction:

beauty is a wound by eka kurniawan (indonesian) / didn’t rate

childhood by tove ditlevsen (danish) / didn’t rate

lemon by kwon yeo-sun (korean) / ☆☆☆

things we lost in the fire by mariana enríquez (argentinian) / didn’t rate

kim jiyoung born 1982 by cho nam-joo (korean) / ☆☆

short story collections

dubliners by james joyce / ☆☆ ½

a thousand years of good prayers by yiyun li / didn’t rate

her body and other parties by carmen maria machado / ☆☆☆

total books read: 58 total pages read: 12, 331 total hours listened: 181.58

[pikapeppa]

Varric vs. Solas: Wake Up

I watched the Dec 2020 DA4 teaser trailer, heard Varric and SAW MA VHENAN, and I had to write a little something. Behold: a little post-Trespasser, mid-Tevinter Nights chit-chat between Varric and Solas, with a twist.

2400 words. Read here on AO3.

************************

Varric scrawled his signature one last time, then put his plume down with a sigh. He resentfully eyed the pile of documents he’d just finished signing; most of them were orders or requests that Bran could easily have signed on his behalf. Varric suspected that this was his comeuppance for telling Bran that he didn’t care that the new signposts in Lowtown were two centimetres taller than the regulation standards. 

“Not like the signposts will help,” he muttered to himself. “People are gonna get lost in Lowtown no matter what. It’s just the charm of the place.” Sure, maybe the real reason people got lost in Kirkwall was that the city design was based on some old magister’s crazy blood magic plan, but that didn’t bear thinking about right now – or ever, really, considering the other shit going on in the world right now. 

He sighed and regarded his paper-strewn desk. There was the tidy pile of documents he’d just signed, and the untidy larger pile of documents he had yet to review. A little stack of coded letters sat in a tray by his left hand — letters that he’d be sending out by raven once he was done here. And finally, poking out from underneath a dog-eared copy of the latest Randy Dowager, was the long-neglected draft of his most recent chapter of Swords and Shields 2. 

A pang of guilt penetrated his fatigue. It had been months now since he’d sent Cassandra a new chapter. He could try to get a little writing done now, while the Viscount's Keep was quiet in the middle of the night, but his eyes were stinging with tiredness…

Ah, what the hell, he thought. He couldn’t deprive his most loyal reader. He pulled out the chapter pages and quickly skimmed the last one to see where he’d left, off then dipped his plume and began to write. 

He had barely gotten out two paragraphs before he heard a soft knock on his office door – so soft he thought he’d imagined it. When the knock happened again, he looked up warily.

It was almost midnight. Who would be coming to his office this late? Whoever it was, it couldn’t be urgent. If it was urgent, they’d be banging, not knocking quietly. 

He leaned back in his chair and idly ran his thumb over the small stiletto blade he kept in a hidden pocket on his thigh – you could never be too careful these days. “Come on in,” he called. 

The door opened slowly, and a tall hooded figure stepped into his office. “Master Tethras,” the figure said. “It’s good to see you.”

A ripple of shock shot down Varric’s spine. He recognized the voice long before the hood was pushed back, revealing a shiny bald head and a subtly tragic expression.

Solas? he thought incredulously. Solas was here? Here, in his office? Impossible. For years they'd tried fruitlessly to track Solas down using any means available, and even with the knowledge of his last known whereabouts from his encounter with Charter, they hadn’t been able to find him. And now here he was, in Varric’s office, strolling in as casually as though he’d just come out of the rotunda at Skyhold? 

It was ridiculous. Totally ridiculous. But since when did things ever make sense, really?

He quickly gathered his wits and leaned back in his chair. “Chuckles. Funny seeing you here.” He raised an eyebrow. “Or should I call you the Dread Wolf?”

Solas let out a little laugh – a very tired-sounding laugh. “Please don’t.”

Varric smirked. “What, reputation getting too heavy for you?”

“You would know, I suppose,” Solas said softly. “You have written about the crushing weight of a reputation several times over.” 

“Sure have,” Varric said. 

Solas nodded. For a long moment, they were silent as they looked at each other, and Varric got the impression that they were sizing each other up, almost like–

Don’t use a wolf-related simile, Varric scolded himself. He gestured at one of the visitors’ chairs across from his desk. “Have a seat.”

“Thank you,” Solas said. He seated himself on the chair, somehow managing to make his rich dark cloak drape elegantly around himself without making a show of arranging it, and Varric took careful note of the elegance of the gesture. It was… different than the Solas he was used to. More reserved but more powerful at the same time.

Lavellan mentioned he’d changed, he thought. Well, here was the proof. But just how much had Solas changed in the years since Varric had last seen him?

He sat back comfortably. “So,” he said.

“So,” Solas agreed.

Another moment of silence ensued, and the back of Varric’s neck began to prickle. Solas’s expression was calm and neutral, almost alarmingly neutral, and Varric hoped he looked equally unfazed by the strangeness of the current situation. It might be as weird as a giant nug with a beard and a pirate’s hat to be sitting across from an elven god, but Varric didn’t want to show it.

The silence thickened between them. Varric itched to break it, to know what Solas was doing here, but he didn’t want to ask. Something about this visit felt like a power play, and Varric was fairly sure he’d lose if he asked a direct question.

Instead of asking why Solas was in his office, he asked something far more innocuous. “Any interest in a hand of diamondback?”

Solas’s posture relaxed slightly, and he gave Varric a faint smile. “I would like that. Thank you.”

Varric nodded and pulled a deck of worn cards from his desk drawer. He shuffled the cards and dealt a hand, and for the first time in years, Varric and Solas played a game of diamondback together.

They played a couple of hands in silence. Varric won the first round and Solas won the second, and by the time they were on their third, Varric was feeling much more in control of the situation.

He discarded a card and selected another. “It’s been a while, Chuckles. What have you been up to?”

“Travelling, mostly,” Solas said. “Observing. And yourself?”

“Signing my life away,” Varric said dryly, and he nodded to the pile of signed documents on his desk.

Solas’s smile widened slightly. “I see.” He glanced at the unfinished chapter under Varric’s elbow. “You have continued to write as well, I see?”

Varric huffed. “Eh, not really. This is just for Cassandra.”

“For Cassandra exclusively?” Solas said.

Varric nodded. “Aveline — she’s the inspiration for the main character — she demanded that I stop writing it. I told her that making me choose between her and Cassandra would be putting me between a rock and a hard place. Literally.” 

Solas chuckled. The rare sound of Solas’s amusement was strangely familiar, and it only served to highlight the weirdness of the situation.

Varric dealt another hand. “How’s Cole? You seen him lately?”

“Yes,” Solas said. “He is happily dwelling in the Fade once more.”

His tone was very bland, Varric noticed. With Solas, ‘bland’ usually meant ‘something very significant’. Had something happened to Cole, then?

Varric’s gut twisted with concern, but he carefully kept his expression calm. “Tell the kid I said ‘hi’ during your next Fade nap. We miss him around here.”

“I shall,” Solas said softly. “It is your turn.”

Varric nodded and selected a card. They finished the round, which went to Solas this time, and as Varric shuffled the cards, he carefully considered what to say next. Everything he and Solas said to each other involved giving up a piece of information. Even admitting that he and Cassandra were still in touch was a piece of information that could be used – though not one that would be hard to discover even by a fairly poor spy. But in such a fraught situation, Varric needed to be very careful about what he said next.  

It was time to try and unbalance Solas. And there was only one thing — or rather, one person — that had been able to soften Solas up in the past. Would a mention of her still be enough to unbalance this especially placid and self-possessed version of the elven apostate?

Only one way to find out, Varric thought. He dealt out their cards, then looked at Solas. “She’s fine, by the way.”

Solas met his eye. And for a split second, swift as the blink of an eye, an expression crossed his face — an expression that landed like a strike to Varric’s gut. It was a complicated mixture of heartwrenching longing and regret: the kind of regret that could haunt a person for decades. The kind of regret that spoke of near-misses and what-ifs that would never be resolved. 

The kind of regret that could twist and fester in the walls of a once-loved fortress until it became literally monstrous. 

Then, just as quickly as the weight of emotion crossed Solas’s face, it was gone — but not quickly enough for Varric to miss it. 

Solas still cares about Lavellan, Varric thought. This was very useful information to have. If Solas still loved Lavellan, if the Dread Wolf still had some kind of attachment to their world, then there was hope. A little hint of hope, sure, but Varric was well-accustomed to seemingly-hopeless situations by now. 

Hope is good, he thought. Hope’ll keep us going. He couldn’t take any pleasure from this information, though — not when he knew Lavellan still loved Solas too.  

Solas, meanwhile, had returned his now-neutral gaze to his cards. “I’m glad to hear it,” he said. “You see her often, I take it?”

“Nah,” Varric said. “She’s still out in the Hunterhorn Mountains.”

Solas looked up with a tiny frown. “The Hunterhorn Mountains?”

“Yeah,” Varric said. “With the rest of the Seekers. What’s left of them, anyway.”

Solas blinked. Then his face cleared with comprehension — and a whisper of disappointment. “Ah,” he said. “Cassandra. Of course.”

Varric raised his eyebrows in faux-innocence. “Who did you think I meant?”

Solas stared stonily at him, and Varric steadily returned his gaze. Then Solas huffed softly, and a hint of a smile touched the corner of his lips. He looked at his cards once more without replying, and Varric watched him carefully as they played out the remainder of the round, but his face had resumed its unnervingly placid expression.

Varric won the round. When he’d collected the cards once more, he paused and gave Solas a frank look. “Listen, Chuckles, the personal visit is nice, but I’ve gotta wonder what it’s about.” 

Solas leaned back and crossed one ankle over his knee, looking supremely comfortable for an ancient god who had just been called out by a mere mortal. “Truthfully?” he said. “It was an experiment.”

Varric frowned.  This was not what he expected Solas to say. “An experiment?”

“Yes,” Solas said. “I am both interested and somewhat alarmed to see that it worked.”

“Okay,” Varric said slowly. He couldn’t decide whether to be amused or annoyed that Solas was being his usual cryptic self. “So… what happen next, then?”

“That is largely up to you,” Solas said.

“What do you mean?” Varric asked.

“I mean that the choice is yours. It is your mind, after all.” He gestured at the cards in Varric’s hands. “We could continue talking and playing, if you like.”

Varric narrowed his eyes. What did Solas mean, ‘it is your mind’? “And what if I don’t want to?” he said suspiciously. “Are you going to kill me?”

Solas’s smile widened into something indescribably sad. “No, Varric. If you don’t wish to continue playing, then I suggest you wake up.”

Varric jerked and opened his eyes. “What?” he blurted.

Solas didn’t reply. In fact, Solas wasn’t there. 

Disoriented and alarmed, Varric looked around his empty office. What the hell? he thought. So… wait. He was confused. How — what had just happened? He’d been asleep, so how had he been playing cards with Solas? 

A sudden realization gripped him. Thinking or doing things or seeing people while he was asleep: Varric had never done this before. In fact, he didn’t know any dwarf ever who had done that before. 

“Did… did I just have a dream?” he said incredulously to his empty office.

No one answered — of course no one did, because Varric was alone. But… Andraste’s knickers, that had felt so real. If that was a dream, how did humans and elves and qunari stand it every night?

He rubbed his face roughly. He was spooked; there was no denying it. And he couldn’t make sense of how this was even possible. Everyone in Thedas knew that dwarves didn’t dream; it was a fact, like the sky being blue and grass being green. But if Varric had just had a dream, and Solas said it was an experiment… 

Shit, he thought. Maybe that meant Solas was doing some kind of weird new magic, which didn’t bode well. If that was the case, he needed to talk to some mages about this. Good thing Lavellan was in Kirkwall at the moment. He could talk to her and to Dorian through her sending crystal thing, and they could explain what had just happened. 

He stood up and stretched, then quickly locked the coded letters in the hidden compartment in his desk before leaving his office. As he made his way through the silent Viscount’s Keep, he tried to remember what he and Solas had talked about during the dream, but it was becoming indistinct. He remembered playing cards, and he remembered Solas saying it was an experiment, but the things they’d discussed… 

He rubbed his forehead, frustrated that his memory of the dream was so fuzzy. Had they talked about lyrium? Varric didn’t think so. Maybe… maybe about Varric’s books? That was possible. Was it normal for dreams to just disappear so quickly? He thought he remembered humans complaining about this, but Solas always made it sound like his dreams were so clear… 

Then Varric remembered something very clear: the look on Solas’s face when he was thinking about Lavellan. That wistful, yearning expression that spoke of hope and tragedy at the same time — the same expression that Lavellan wore when she thought no one was looking.

His heart sank, and he sighed. It looked like shit was about to get weird again for Lavellan, and soon. Then again, when had shit ever not been weird? 

At least we’re never bored, he thought wryly. With that semi-positive thought in mind, Varric stepped out of the Viscount’s Keep and into the heart of Hightown.  

[vixen-academia]

Readings of 2021

Grades go from 1 to 5

The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde - 5

The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald - 4,5

The Secret History, Donna Tartt - 4

Captains of the Sand, Jorge Amado - 5

King Lear, Shakespeare - 3,5

The Duke and I, Julia Quinn (The Bridgertons #1)- 3

A Dog’s Will, Ariano Suassuna (reread) - 5

The Viscount Who Loved Me, Julia Quinn (The Bridgertons #2) - 4

Jantar Secreto, Raphael Montes - 4

Columbine, David Cullen - 4

The Game of Thrones, George R. R. Martin (Song of Ice and Fire #1) - 4

The Young Elites, Marie Lu (The Young Elites #1) - 3,5

Red Queen, Victoria Aveyard (Red Queen #1) - 4,5

Legend, Marie Lu (Legend #1) - 4,5

A Estranha no Chat, R. A. Nolasco - 1,5

Um Corpo de Verão, Maria Freitas - 4

A Court of Thorns and Roses, Sarah J. Maas (ACOTAR #1) - 2,5

Ex Libris, Fabio Brust - 3

Rose Society, Marie Lu (The Young Elites #2) - 4,5

Punk 57, Penelope Douglas - 2,5

We were liars, E. Lockhart - 2

Her Royal Highness, Rachel Hawkins (Surviving Royalty #2) - 2

I Know What You Did Last Summer, Lois Duncan - 3

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Taylor Jenkins Reid - 5

Learning to Talk with Plants, Marta Orriolis - 3

The Offer of a Gentleman, Julia Quinn (The Bridgertons #3) - 3,5

People Like Us, Dana Mele - 2,5

Caraval, Stephanie Garber (Caraval #1) - 4,5

Crazy Rich Asians, Kevin Kwan (Crazy Rich Asians #1) - 3,5

A Darker Shade of Magic, V. E. Schwab (A Darker Shade of Magic #1) - 2

Cinderella is Dead, Kalynn Bayron - 3

Clair of the Sea Light, Edwidge Danticat - 5

A Touch of Darkness, Scarllet St. Clair - 4

Passing, Nella Larsen - 4,5

O Medo é Feito de Gelo, L. S. Englandine - 4

Malibu Rising, Taylor Jenkins Reid - 5

Prodigy, Marie Lu (Legend #2) - 4

Nothing to See Here, Kevin Wilson - 5

Romancing Mister Bridgerton, Julia Quinn (The Bridgertons #4) - 3

Suicidas, Raphael Montes - 3

Cova 312, Daniela Arbex – 4,5

Confessions, Kanae Minato - 3

[cosettepontmercys]

Have you read Pachinko? Are you planning on watching the miniseries adaptation? I'm torn on whether to watch it because I've been hearing good things, but I loved the book so much I worry it can't possibly match up.

If there's 1 book that's been adapted to a movie/tv show that you think should absolutely be read, what would it be?

hello! i haven't read pachinko yet; i've been meaning to read it forever (in fact, it's sitting on my book cart, staring at me right now). i'll probably cave and get an apple tv+ trial & watch it (as well as finally watch schmigadoon + ted lasso) though! i find that i always worry about adaptations, and am often let down when i read the book first (and when i genuinely love the book) and then watch the adaptation, but less so when it's the other way around. there are a couple adaptations that i really liked, but it usually takes a while for me to separate the book from the adaptation! for example, with bridgerton (since it's the most recent adaptation i watched), i really loved the viscount who loved me and was disappointed by the new season when i first watched it. which is no fault of the actors, or the new storylines; i was just too attached to the original source. it took a few days for me to think/process, and for me to rewatch a few scenes before i could separate the two in my head and judge it on its own merit! i do really love the new season of bridgerton & think a lot more highly of it now; it just took some time for me to think of it as something else. i try to watch adaptations first before reading a book, but sometimes i grow impatient and i decide to just read it while i wait! i think that the 2019 little women is one of my favorite adaptations, as well as emma approved! in terms of adaptations of newer works, i've got very high hopes for heartstopper, and i thought the crazy rich asians adaptation was very well done! i've heard very good things about normal people but haven't read or watched it yet. some books that are getting adaptations that i can't wait to see on screen are grace li's portrait of a thief, ayana grey's beasts of prey and jordan ifueko's raybearer! this was so much longer than i expected it to be, and i'm terribly sorry! i'd love to hear your thoughts on pachinko if you decide to watch it (and i'll try to get around to reading it soon!) 🤍

come talk to me about books !! give me books to add to my tbr, books i should never read, give me your three favorite books and i’ll give you a rec, tell me what you’re reading !! just come talk to me about books 🥺

[alj4890]

Prompt Request

(Thomas Hunt x OC*Amanda) with the prompt, "Well...that was mean." as requested by @krsnlove​ in celebration of 500 followers.

(Thomas Hunt x OC*Amanda) as taken from the Choices: Red Carpet Diaries/ Regency AU storyline, None But You

A/N For my BFF who loves Regency romance just as much as I do, I'm going back to the series she encouraged me on (pretty much like she does with all my crazy ideas) for this prompt. I adored how perfect Thomas Hunt seemed in this time period. His proud, abrupt ways were made for the early 1800s. For this one, we will go even further back to Thomas and Amanda's courtship that wasn't quite a courtship 😂

@graceful-popcorn​   @krsnlove​   @alleksa16​   @hopelessromantic1352​     @emceesynonymroll​​   @buzz-bee-buzz​   @hopefulmoonobject​    @rainbowsinthestorm​   @lxaah11​   @my-heart-beats-for-ya​ @everythingmarvelsherlockspn @friedherringclodthing​   @aworldoffandoms​   @ab1901​  @sophxwithers​

Masterlist

Inclinations

Lord and Lady Clifford's Ball, London...

"Oh!" Millie gripped Amanda's arm. With a jut of her chin, she hissed, "Can you believe the gall of Ms. Timmons? Look at her! That is the fifth time within the last few minutes that she has walked past Lord Summers and Lord Hunt."

Amanda covered her mouth with her fan when Millie compared the unfortunate young lady to a peacock strutting about to show off her plumage.

"If she adjusts her curl once more over her shoulder..." Millie glared at the spectacle. "I've never seen a lady more determined to catch a rich husband."

"Have you not?" Amanda managed to say without laughing. "Isn't that the point to coming to London for The Season? Aren't we all attempting to land ourselves a husband who assures us a life of comfort and security?"

"Hmph." Millie flicked open her own fan and began to use it vigorously. "Be that as it may, we at least attempt to attract gentlemen with decorum." A smile formed. "Of course, you don't have to worry about such a thing anymore."

"I do have to worry about it." Amanda argued. "No man has made me any promises or given any declarations."

"My dear friend," Millie linked her free arm with Amanda's, "some gentlemen make declarations without saying a single word." She gestured with her fan towards Thomas. "I've seen him attend more outings and balls since you first arrived than in the past two years that I have taken part in ton’s gatherings."

Amanda shook her head while her heart began to hope that her friend wasn't simply exaggerating the viscount's surprising appearance once more.

He had at past parties and balls admitted to her that he did not enjoy such and preferred the quiet life at Kirkwood Manor, his estate in Norfolk.

She wondered if he was attending these to see her.

Perhaps, then again, perhaps not.

He had not sought her out this evening for a dance nor for conversation. He had locked eyes with her from across the room and then bowed his head in greeting, but other than that he had not so much as glanced her way.

Which as much as Lady Amanda despised herself for her weakness for him, she had still peeked over at him whenever she could.

Could he possibly feel as I do?

She wished with all her heart that he felt the same for her.

"Pardon me, my lady, but may I request a dance?"

Amanda blinked and refocused on a gentleman she had only seen in passing. "Yes of course, my lord." She handed over her dance card.

*****************

"Do stop glaring, Kirkwood." Ryan insisted. "You'll scare all the ladies off if you're not careful."

Thomas merely shrugged while surreptitiously glancing over at the reason he had journeyed once more into yet another matchmaking mothers' den.

Lady Amanda Bridgerton was smiling and laughing at whatever Lady Millicent Rawlings was saying. Thomas felt his own lips curve upwards when she used her fan to try to hide her amusement.

Her happiness brought a warmth to his heart.

"There now." Ryan patted Thomas on the back. "That wasn't so hard was it?"

"What are you blabbering about now?" Thomas bit out.

"And it's gone." Ryan shook his head and heaved a deep sigh. "Why do you persist in staying away from her?"

"From whom?" Thomas nearly bit his tongue for tempting his friend into pointing out once again that he felt something more for the dark haired lady standing on the other side of the ballroom.

"Hunt." Ryan shook his head in resignation. "Why do you insist on tormenting yourself?"

"Tormenting?" Thomas chuckled as he took a sip of his drink. "I see you are finally seeing these balls in the same light as I do."

"That wasn't what I meant. I intended for you to leave my company for the one you prefer." Ryan grinned at the frustrated anger forming on his friend's face. He couldn't resist adding, "You cannot deny that Lady Amanda's is the one you desire above all others."

Thomas turned his attention once more toward the subject that he was having difficulty ignoring.

"Let's see now." Ryan continued. "I believe you have complimented her intelligence. I have overheard you mention how lovely her appearance is. Ah! And let's not forget that a moment with her has you smiling and even chuckling upon occasion."

"Absurd." Thomas huffed. "Once again, Summers, you turn a mere friendly admiration into some frivolous love story that young girls are want to dream about." He hmphed while studying Amanda. "I do worry about your mind at times. It is becoming even sillier than the ladies twittering about during their first season."

"Well...that was mean." Ryan's rich laughter drew attention to the two of them. "I believe I will find someone to soothe my damaged feelings with a dance."

Thomas rolled his eyes as Lord Summers finally took pity on the unfortunate Ms. Timmons and her efforts to try and gain such an offer from one of them.

Then he noticed their hosts' younger son, who just so happens to have a highly suspect reputation, approach Amanda.

Cursing under his breath, he began to make his way over to her side.

****************

"Shall we?" Lord Roderick Clifford held his hand out toward Amanda.

She smiled and began to take it, only for her hand to be captured in an all too familiar grip.

Her eyes widened at Thomas's nerve.

Millie simply beamed at his actions.

"This is my dance." He said, tucking her hand within the bend of his arm. "You'll have to forgive my tardiness, I was caught in an unfortunately long conversation with Summers."

Roderick merely cocked an eyebrow. "Your name was nowhere on her dance card."

"An oversight of my own, I assure you." Thomas brushed past him, pulling a bemused Amanda in his wake.

Once clear of being overheard, she squeezed his arm.

"I don't recall you requesting a dance from me this evening, Lord Hunt."

"Like I said earlier," he took her into his arms and began to waltz, "it was an oversight on my part."

She shook her head while fighting back a delighted smile. "I do not know what to think of you at times."

"Am I that difficult to figure out?" His frown softened. "I think I am a fairly average gentleman."

"Nothing about you is average, my lord." Her smile grew when she noticed the flush upon his cheeks. "You are an intelligent and interesting gentleman to be sure and yet you rarely converse with others here." She tilted her head as if pondering this great mystery. "Why is that?"

His lips parted then closed. His brow furrowed for a moment. "I suppose it is because I do not enjoy striking up conversations with people I do not know well."

"You struck up one with me when we first met." She reminded him. A soft laugh escaped her lips. "And every moment since then with you only proves that anyone would be fortunate to engage in discussions with you."

His lips curved once more as he held her gaze. "I think of the two of us, it is you that anyone would be fortunate to talk to. You have that rare gift of putting one at ease as he tries to speak."

She beamed at him. "That is a lovely compliment. Thank you for that, Lord Thomas."

He had to bite back the many other compliments that came to mind as he looked upon her. "It was merely the truth, nothing more."

"Just the same." She insisted. "Thank you."

He nodded and happened to glance up to see Ryan's smug smile nearby.

Glaring at the reminder that he had only proven his friend correct, he guided Amanda a few steps away from his nosy friend.

"I meant to ask you, is there something about Lord Clifford I should avoid?"

He focused once more upon the lady in his arms. "Yes, he er..."

Thomas wondered how to delicately say that the man was practically living at some of the brothels that some gentlemen amongst the ton preferred to visit. If not for his elder brother and father physically removing him from such a disreputable establishment, he doubted the man would be wooing ladies in a ballroom this evening.

The thought of Lady Amanda stuck with such a man for even a dance had not sat well with him. It was becoming hard enough to see morally respectable men waltz with her, much less one not fit to even touch her hand.

"His activities of late have caused a strain amongst his family and those close to him."

Her eyes narrowed somewhat as she tried to guess what the man had done.

"Is it," she lowered her voice to a whisper, "gambling?"

"No, though he is a prolific gambler." Thomas muttered.

"Is it--"

"It is not a topic for ladies' ears." He blurted out.

Her eyes widened. There was only one topic that young ladies without a husband were forbidden to discuss.

Her cheeks burned as she lowered her eyes. "I see."

Thomas relaxed somewhat once he saw she was not going to bring Lord Roderick up anymore.

"That's why you insisted on dancing with me." Amanda mumbled.

He blinked at the disappointment he heard in her voice.

Could she have actually wanted to dance with such a libertine?

Amanda sighed over the fact that Thomas was merely acting the gentleman once more. There was no true interest in his lying about this being his dance other than his chivalrous nature needing to protect an innocent lady.

She began to wish that he didn't see her as some damsel in distress in need of a knight to charge in and save her from unsavory men at every single turn.

She wished...it was foolish to wish for something that wasn't there nor would ever be. There was no jealousy or need to be by her side.

He simply was a true gentleman.

"I had planned on asking you to dance earlier." Thomas said, wondering at her despondent expression. "And in all honesty, I was looking forward to continuing our discussion on Persuasion."

She nodded. Of course. The book he insisted she read without spoiling the ending was his true interest.

She forced a smile. "Captain Wentworth, in my opinion, is a character who is determined to make himself miserable."

Thomas nearly missed a step as they made another turn about the ballroom. "What makes you think that?"

"His attempts to keep away from Ann, yet keeps finding himself drawn closer whenever he sees her or hears her voice." She raised her eyes back to his. "Why would he do such a thing, hurting them both in the process, when it is obvious she would welcome his affection?"

Thomas swallowed. "Perhaps...perhaps Captain Wentworth doubts that he could truly hold her heart. He needs to protect himself, even to the point of heartache knowing that Ann is the only one who could truly wound him."

"But he is missing out on a chance for true happiness." Amanda slowed her steps as the music began to die down.

Thomas kept her hand in his as he led her off the floor. "He is a fool." He turned back toward her. "It seems a man's inclination to be foolish when presented with the very object he yearns for most in the world. He at first doubts it's existence then fights against the very notion that it is all he truly needs. Then once the realization strikes, he is at a loss at taking the first step to secure his happiness."

Amanda took a step closer to him, inexplicably drawn by the emotion in his dark eyes. "Do you think that you would ever behave in such a manner when shown what your heart wants most?"

His grip on her hand tightened as he raised it to his lips. "I might be the most foolish of them all." He bowed his head to her. "Thank you for the dance, my lady. I hope that you will find it in your heart to save me another one when next we meet."

Thomas reluctantly released her hand and quickly left the ball.

[dreamyfanfix]

Chapter 6: Strength is for the weak

Updates (AGAIN): Please note I made a few major changes to this chapter. Read it again!

Past:

As Violet walked with Kate and Anthony through the party Kate was surprised by just how much she was able to keep such a stoic face. Kate on the other hand was petrified, she held onto Anthony's hand for support. Anthony looked at her and smiled but it did nothing to calm her nerves.

Kate and Anthony are led to a room with a patio view of the party. It was a stunning view. On the patio, Kate can see Lady Ledger seated with documents in her hand.

"Hi gran. What's all this about?" Anthony asked.

"Kate, I've only known you a short time, but it's clear you're a very smart woman," Lady Ledger spoke and Kate smiled up at Anthony and then at her "But, I will not permit you to ruin my grandson with your ambition,"

"Gran!" Anthony exclaimed. Anthony held her hand a little stronger.

"I'm sorry to tell you but Kate has been lying to us about her family and her father," Violet spoke now. Kate could finally see the resemblance between Violet and her mother.

"What? What are you talking about?" Kate asked.

"I hired a private investigator to look into her past," "Mother don't you dare," Anthony interrupted but Violet continued, "She said her father passed away 3 years ago from cancer but that's not true,"

"What?" "Mum stop!" Kate and Anthony interjected but Violet continued undeterred.

This time speaking directly to Kate "Your birth mother's husband is very much alive. During her marriage, she cheated on him and ran away with a mechanic, and before she could be located, as she was pregnant, she ran away to England,"

Kate could barely hear the words Violet was saying "No. No. No," Kate for the first time in her life had no words.

Kate tried to take the pages from Violet who was trying to hand them off to Anthony and took a look at them. She saw the marriage certificate, the missing person's report even the attempt to dissolve the marriage all with her birth mother's name on them. Kate could barely breathe.

Violet took the pages from Kate with little fuss and tried to hand them to Anthony "It's all right here,"

Anthony looked furious "You had no right!"

"We had every right!" Violet exclaimed.

"No, you did not!" Anthony said.

"Do you know what kind of scandal this would have caused for Kate to be hiding something like this?" Violet asked Anthony.

Kate was now just feeling so small. She did not care about Violet or Lady Ledger anymore she looked up at Anthony "I didn't know,"

Anthony looked at her in the eyes and then back at his mother with fury. Before he could say anything though Violet spoke "We cannot be linked to this sort of family,"

Kate was now tearing up. It reminded her of her childhood when she had been scolded by her parents, she was both ashamed and embarrassed. She wished the ground would swallow her whole. She glanced at Lady Ledger and she had a smug smile on her face. Kate felt like she was going to be sick for the second time that day.

Violet spoke "Anthony we could not even be sure her father is her actual father. Can you imagine that? The scandal of it all!"

Kate took a step back while Anthony and his mother went back and forth yelling at each other. Kate thought about all the times people would say she and Edwina looked nothing alike. It stung because Edwina was stunning but Kate always thought that she just took after her mother's side of the family. It hurt Kate in a spot of her heart that she had spent her whole life guarding so strongly: her family.

"Mother I do not care what you think about her family. I love her!" Anthony said.

Violet tried to grab his hand and said "In our lives, family is everything, Anthony! How can you be with someone who might have been keeping this from you?"

"Cause I already knew!" Anthony hollered.

"What?" Kate said and Anthony looked at her. 

"Don't worry Kate, I already knew about all of this before this ambush," Anthony said in a soothing voice.

Anthony took a step towards her but she took a step back "Why did you know all of this before I even did?"

Anthony looked confused "Kate I do research on most people in my life,"

"You do realise how messed up that is, right? Were you just gonna hold that information about me forever? At what point in the 8 months we have been dating do you think of telling me about this? You have no right to even be mad at your mother then!" Kate exclaimed. Anthony tried to respond but Kate held her hand up and looked towards Violet "You don't have to worry about me messing up your family reputation Lady Bridgerton, because I want absolutely nothing to do with your family,"

Kate hated feeling small, she hated people who tried to drive a wedge with her family. She had spent years feeling insecure with Mary as a stepmother especially after Edwina was born but Mary had treated her like nothing less than a daughter even after her father died. Mary mourned for a good month and then resumed getting her Edwina prepared for schooling. Reminding Kate to eat while she studied, called her and always tried to keep her close. Mary had run away from her family so Kate understood that her mother just wanted to keep the family she had left close. Mary was not the best at organisation and planning but Kate loved it and was good at it so she stepped up. Kate always had at least one loving parent in her life and she was not going to let Violet & Anthony Bridgerton take that away from her.

Kate ran away from the scene. If you asked her how she ended up being escorted out of the party by Simon then you would not get a straight answer. There was a ringing in her ears, a lot of shuffling and bumping into people and then she was in a car with Simon holding her as she cried.

----

Present:

Kate loved 'Nailed It' on Netflix. The premise was simple: Under a time limit, amateur bakers have to recreate often elaborate cakes to the satisfaction of the judges. It was simple enough that Kate could mindlessly watch while she ate popcorn for dinner cuddling her corgi puppy Newton. Popcorn was not Kate's usual choice of meal but between her long schedule and her inability to open her spice cupboards without getting an overwhelming sense of nausea, popcorn had to do.

Living alone was not something Kate ever sought. She loved being with her family or friends in uni. The only time she ever thought about living with someone else was when she was with Anthony so it came as a shock to everyone when she decided to move out after her breakup. There was something about living at home that felt claustrophobic, between Mary and Edwina's knowing and pitying eyes and the constant reminders of not just Anthony but other people she had lost, Kate had spoken with her therapist and decided that maybe a change of scenery was what she needed.

She started looking for flats in and around the area, and then she went to viewings but it wasn't until 'Moving Day' did it all feel real. Kate remembers how mad Edwina had been about her decision and on that day she had refused to come out of her room because she felt like Kate was making a drastic change in their lives. Kate was sad but Edwina eventually peeked out to give her a goodbye hug. It wasn't until she went to leave that she saw the sadness in Mary's eyes and even though she was able to make until she got to her place. She broke down. It was supposed to be the Sharma women vs. The world and Kate felt like she was letting them down and she felt guilty.

2 weeks later Kate was feeling a bit better about her new normal when Mary showed up at her door with a sad smile, Butter Chicken (because it was one of the only dishes she knew) and a corgi puppy. Mary explained that they weren't mad that she had gotten her own place, they were sad because they felt like she was running away from them and she did not think it was a good idea for Kate to be alone so soon after her breakup. Kate explained herself and that it was not an easy decision for her either and Mary agreed so in an effort to calm Mary's mind and for Kate to still have company she adopted a corgi puppy for her. Kate named him Newton, her father would have loved that, if he ever let her and Edwina get a dog that is.

Kate was hesitant about taking care of a dog but Newton was so cute at times it caused a deep yearning in her she tried to ignore. When her therapist suggested she join dog groups online for advice or socialising, Kate was hesitant but her therapist reminded her about being more social and finding avenues to be fulfilled outside of work and her family. Kate joined a dog group that met at different local parks and from the suggestion of one of the other dog owners, she joined other Facebook groups like one for painting, horseriding and swimming.

Kate had made quite a few friends through the activities and was surprised at her popularity among young active men. It turns out that once she opened her horizons outside her field there were nice and like-minded men. She went out with a few, some bad, some good, some good in one aspect only (Pav was overall enthusiastic but not that bright) and then there was Ryan Bagwell. 

Ryan was not Kate's usual type, he was relaxed, artistic and spontaneous. He was one of the volunteer instructors for the painting group and Kate felt a bit turned off by it at first that was until he showed her what he did. He was an architect, more alternative than the average architect but he also owned galleries. It was through him that Kate had her first run-in with a Bridgerton since the breakup. Benedict was there viewing Henry's work (Kate's fault for not getting Henry's last name) and they bumped into each other. The interaction was stilted but when Kate mentioned she was with her boyfriend Ryan, Ben relaxed and said Anthony was also seeing someone. It hurt but only for a moment. Benedict tried to exchange numbers but Kate was not interested and he was nice enough to leave it at that.

It was after the show that Kate had to tell Ryan about her history with the Bridgertons. Ryan was understanding and told her that he liked her and wanted to be in it with her for the long haul so Kate was happy. Edwina loved him and Mary found him interesting so it seemed pretty simple. For once her dating life was stable. Her and Ryan would go out dancing and hiking and Kate had never felt more alive than when she was with him. He was good about her friendship with Simon he also encouraged her to make other friends and that is how she reconnected with Sophie from Law school.

So to have to break up with Ryan was not easy. She did not want to lead him on and things in her life were not going to slow down any time soon. She told him that she did not want to ask him to wait for her to get her life in order and he understood. He told her he was always going to be here for her and told her to not feel weird about attending painting classes because he would still like to see her. I mean they were friends before they dated so it was easy to slip back into it. Still, Kate wondered how Ryan had gotten so well-adjusted and if she could steal his personality.

--

So it was a Thursday night and Kate was on her couch cuddling with Newton and eating popcorn when she heard thundering knocking on her door. Kate checked her phone and saw the time (10.30 PM) but also that no one had called or texted her in the past few hours that would warrant such urgent knocking and that's when the knocker spoke.

"Sharma, open the damn door! I know you are in there!" It was Simon.

Kate went to open the door and Simon walked in aggressively "How nice of you to drop by unannounced Si," Kate closed the door behind him.

Simon had sat at her kitchen island but was turned to her with a scowl "Don't treat me like an acquaintance, you know why I'm here,"

Kate's blood froze "Who told you?"

"What do you mean who told me? You didn't think I would notice you haven't been working at the firm for the last month?" Simon asked.

Kate visibly relaxed and went to get some wine glasses and a bottle, she placed the glass in front of Simon and poured him a bit and then one into her glass but she did not move to drink it "I'm sorry it has been a chaotic time, I meant to tell you the last time I saw you but things were tense after the news around Anthony. I forgot,"

Simon took a sip from his glass and then said "I need this. Between Daphne and the baby and the mess with you and the Bridgertons, I have not had a good moment's rest,"

Kate could not help her curiosity "What's going on with the Bridgertons?" Simon looked at her with a look that said 'Do you truly want to know?' and she continued "Oh please, you so came over here to vent,"

Simon sighed "Things have been a bit messy. Daphne and Benedict have tried to step up and take over some of the responsibilities that Anthony was dealing with but it is becoming clearer and clearer that the family had no clue of what it took to maintain them," Simon sighed.

Kate scoffed "They are a smart brood they will get it eventually,"

"Well eventually cannot wait. Benedict has been so stressed out that he spaced and missed the payment for Eloise's second semester at uni and she almost lost her spot. Luckily, she decided to take it over because Ben then ran into issues when Colin almost got arrested in the Phillippines for smuggling drugs luckily the ambassador in Manila is a friend of Violet's and was able to get the prescription we faxed over for the drug to the police. It has been one thing after another, there are too many Bridgertons and not enough hands. It's stressing a very pregnant Daphne out, which is stressing me out," Simon took a rather large sip of wine after his rant.

"I'm sure you guys will get a handle on it. I feel bad for Ben, handling the family like this was not something he ever thought he would do..." she added the next part in quieter "...or even wanted to do," 

Simon eyed her oddly at her statement "Yes... Well, I'm tired and I need you right now," the last part came out as a bit of a whine.

Kate reached across the table and grabbed Simon's hand "I'm here if you want to talk,"

"That's not what you said last time we spoke,"

Kate straightened up her position and sighed "I was tired and overwhelmed. I'm feeling a lot better about it now. You are my friend and you made me godmother to that little Basset baby and I'm not going to let you down," she said with a smile.

He returned her smile "How does Ryan feel about all of this? Are you guys still taking that break?"

Kate sighed. How much was she going to tell Simon? Honesty is the best policy "I'm pregnant,"

For about 10 seconds all you could hear was the mindless chatter of the TV in the background until Simon reawakened and asked "It's Ryans, right?"

Kate was taken aback "Why did you ask me like that?"

"Is it Benedicts?" Simon asked in such a hushed tone Kate grew concerned.

At first, she thought he said the wrong name but then she looked at his face and realised he was serious and began to laugh.

Simon stood up and exclaimed "Kate this is not a laughing matter,"

Kate said wiping her eyes "Except it kind of is," 

"How far along are you?"

Kate did not answer so Simon came around the kitchen island and lifted her shirt "Jeez Simon, that is a violation. You don't go around lifting women's shirts,"

"You do when they are your friend and they refuse to answer straightforward questions,"

"I was going to answer you if you had given me the chance. I'm about 4 months," Kate said.

Simon took Kate's wine glass and the bottle of wine to the other side of the island and finished all of Kate's glass, immediately pouring another glass and said "Well, you are barely showing,"

"Yeah, small pregnant bellies run in the family," Kate said with a shrug.

"You never answered my question though. Are you and Ryan back on?" Simon asked all his attention on her.

"Well, no actually we broke up," Simon's eyes widened and took a sip of wine but a thought popped into Kate's head and she asked, "Wait, why did you think the father could be Benedict?"

Simon's eyes widened but he sighed and spoke "Well, I've seen how close you guys have been since he had that art show. Ryan might have expressed concern that Benedict might be a problem but I shut him down..." Simon took a breath and continued "Then Anthony also expressed he felt you and Benedict are close. Benedict is single and a bit reckless when picking partners,"

"Hey, I liked Henry and seriously Simon, that's it? That sounds like you're slut-shaming Ben which is rich coming from you and Anthony," Kate said incredulously.

"That's what I thought too until after the baby shower," Simon said with a shrug.

"What happened after the baby shower?" Kate asked.

"I saw you leave with Ben, Kate. After you told me about taking a break with Ryan, what else was I supposed to think?"

"That I got pregnant with my ex-boyfriend's brother's baby? What do you think of me?" Kate said with what she hoped was massive amounts of sarcasm.

"You forget that I was the one who picked you up after 2 one-night stands," Simon said gesturing.

"That was months ago before I even met Ryan," Kate said incredulously.

"The night of the baby shower Ben and Anthony got it a huge fight. More blows were exchanged than that night Ant caught me with Daph. Ben told Anthony that he was ashamed of him,"

Kate's heart constricted as she sighed "That's not good. The last thing I wanted was to come between them,"

"Well, the week after that, we got the news of Anthony being in the hospital so it's not been easy,"

Kate covered her face with her hands, she needed to speak to Ben soon "Ben only helped me because he knew I was pregnant already," She sighed and then closed her eyes before saying "He knew the baby was Anthony's..." Simon looked shocked and ready to speak but she continued "That's why I took Anthony aside to speak to him at the shower, he had been ignoring my calls. Ben told me I had to tell him but then Anthony yelled at me so terribly and Ben heard so he took me home and comforted me. He's more like a brother to me, like you,"

"When did this happen, Kate?"

"I just said at your baby shower," Kate answered.

"What?! Did you get pregnancy brain? I meant when did you and Anthony hook up?"

"Hook up? Grow up," Kate said as she rolled her eyes but she continued when Simon gave her a stern look "During your engagement, me and Anthony realised we could not ignore each other forever so we agreed to be friendly,"

Simon scoffed "You two only have two gears: at each other's throats or madly in love. No in-between,"

"Yes well, Ryan noticed that as well and that's when we decided to take a break. When you guys were coming back from your honeymoon Anthony and I thought it would be a good idea to host a lunch for the day you got back so we met up and well one thing led to another and we ended up staying in his bedroom for most of the day," Simon took a healthy sip of wine and she continued "Ben caught me in his apartment later in the day so when Ben, Anthony and I got together to organise your baby shower, he saw me throwing up and he put two and two together,"

Simon took a few seconds to ingest all she had told him and then asked "So I'm going to guess you are keeping it?"

Kate nodded and Simon stood up and came around the kitchen island to embrace her. She was not sure if it was pregnancy hormones but she got teary-eyed.

"Thanks, Si," Kate patted Simon's back "I'm guessing you are no longer angry with me for ignoring you all this time, huh?"

Simon chuckled "Oh no I am. Only now I'm mad at you for stealing my thunder," Kate giggled and Simon leaned back and said "Congratulations Kate. You'll be a banging mum,"

"Thank you," Kate said definitely crying now.

----

Kate telling Simon about her pregnancy started to make the whole thing real. At this point, more and more people who were not the father were beginning to know.

Before he had left her place last night, in a super expensive Uber, Simon had scolded her for keeping her pregnancy news for as long as she did but Kate had concerns, especially after Anthony's outburst and then hospitalisation. She wanted to visit him but she was afraid if she did then she would blurt it out and the idea of being vulnerable to him like that was unnerving. Her therapist had told her that if she had Anthony's baby she would be tying herself to him and his family for life and that there was no way of escaping it. It was a scary thought.

Kate thought long and hard about it, seeking advice from Sophie on it. Sophie tried to leave her Family Law self at home when advising her. Reminding her that at any point something could make her a single mother and that she should only have the baby if she wanted to be a mother, with Anthony by her side or not. Sophie did sneak it in that Kate should draw up documents to leave her parental rights to her stepmother Mary and Kate asked if she would consider being second after Mary and Sophie hesitated but accepted. It was a gloomy conversation that ended with laughter and tears.

Kate did not want to be one of those women who never allowed their baby's father in their life but Kate could not help but feel hesitance whenever she thought of the Bridgertons and the idea that her child's grandmother was going to be Violet Bridgerton. It was a hard thing to deal with but Simon was right, Kate was 4 months along, and the moment to keep Anthony from the fact was coming to an end.

Kate was not Anthony's mother, she was not going to baby him, she would tell him about the baby and if he wanted to be a part of the child's life then they could do that but if not she felt ready to deal with it on her own. She would set ground rules about his mother and other family members and make it clear through a co-parenting relationship contract on what it meant if he went against it.

When Kate spoke with Simon, Simon was ready to villainize Violet but Kate said there was no point. The contract was all she needed. A long time ago Kate actually forgave Anthony for not knowing any better but forgive and forget were two different things. 

After their day in the bedroom, Anthony had called her to talk and they met at a cafe. Anthony told her he had broken up with Sienna. Anthony thought they would get back together but Kate told him that she was not interested. She was not angry with him anymore but the reality of who he was, was just not something she could easily forget. She emphasised that it was important they remained civil for the sake of their relationships with Simon and Daphne.

Kate thought Anthony might be too fragile to hear the news but Simon informed Kate that Anthony was doing better. At first, Simon did not want to bring up Anthony at all but since Anthony is involved he told her about the progress he had made since he left the hospital.

Anthony had gone no contact with his mother which caused issues because the younger siblings (Francesca, Gregory & Hyacinth) missed him but Daphne had been reassuring them that it was important for Anthony to get better.

Anthony had been seeing a therapist regularly and set up a treatment plan that did not include medication for the time being as they figured out what he needed and what caused his issues.

Anthony had decreased the hours he worked at the company to do other things outside of investments and property development.

Kate was happy for Anthony, she knew better than anyone that bad habits are hard to break.

----

"Come along Katie," Mary said as they walked up the steep road to Anthony's place. Mary was accompanying her to give Anthony the news.

Kate had told Edwina and Mary that she was going to tell Anthony about the baby at breakfast the day before and the whole kitchen had gone silent.

Edwina was of the mind to leave it be but once Kate brought up the fact that Ben and Simon now both knew it was only a matter of time before Anthony did and that would be worse.

Kate made it clear that she was not asking them for permission, she knew that she was opening the door for the Bridgertons to be back in their lives again and Edwina was not a fan. Although she had gotten on with the younger Bridgerton siblings, Edwina felt them and their friends at school to be stuck up and Edwina had never felt comfortable, she was so excited to be graduating from high school soon. So when Edwina heard about the real reason Kate and Anthony had broken up she was far from happy.

Edwina insisted on coming with Kate for backup which Kate found cute considering Edwina was almost a foot shorter than her and, maybe Kate was biased here, but Edwina was too cute to pass for intimidating. If it wasn't for Edwina's exams, she would have come but Edwina then insisted on Mary going with her. To which Mary agreed. Kate told them she could do it on her own but Mary was already making plans to move her shift and Kate had gotten a fresh wave of emotion at the solidarity in the room. It made her wonder if her dad would have been proud.

Any way Kate and Mary made their way to Anthony's place around noon and Mary insisted Kate walk, as Kate had taken a break from her many activities due to the pregnancy.

Kate and Mary stood outside Anthony's gate for a bit before Kate was able to gain enough courage, she saw that a car was parked in the driveway so she pressed the buzzer. The intercom had a bit of static but she thought she heard someone say hello "Hi, it's Kate. I need to speak with you, Anthony. I can leave if you are busy," Kate had to give herself an out, at the end there.

There was static on the intercom and then the gate opened.

Kate took a breath and then she and Mary walked up the steep driveway and she regretted not driving again, once they made it to the top of the driveway the door to Anthony's flat opened and there stood Violet Bridgerton.

[katesharmasheart]

Thank you for tagging me, cuties @pduwd  @jeanvanjer  @hptriviachamp ♡♡♡ edit: and @la-reine-des-enfers 

rules: answer the questions and tag 9 people you want to get to know better

Three ships : kate/anthony, evelyn/celia, gregory/lucy 

First ever ship: ariel/prince eric i think fjhdjfd at least it’s the first thing that came to mind

Currently reading: well technically i am reading crazy rich asians, sense and sensibility, the haunting of hill house and re reading the viscount who loved me

Fav colour: purpleee

Last song: i want to break free-glee version (dont @ me)

Last series: euphoria

Last film: groundhog day

Sweet, spicy or savoury: all of them?

Craving: onion rings pls

Currently watching: well this one is going to be long: las chicas del cable s1, julie and the phantoms, druck s7, skam france s9, ragnarok s2, i may destroy you, betty broderick,  modern family s2, genera+ion, trinkets s1, modern love, ted lasso s2, squid game, looking for alaska, dickinson s1 , the great s1, rebelde, how i met your father, the woman in the house across the street from the girl in the window, and im rewatching bridgerton s1 for s2 fdjfkd

Currently consuming: yogurt and a croissant

Currently working: this?fdfd

tagging: @inejs-kaz @isiinci @kieumy @maylaendgame  @engclbeekman @thatssofiya @daphnejane @jake-amy @gezellig

[pippareads]

mid-year reading wrap-up

sabriel by garth nix

ella enchanted by gail carson levine

the heiress gets a duke by harper st. george

the duke and i by julia quinn

when he was wicked by julia quinn

the viscount who loved me by julia quinn

the cruel prince by holly black

before the coffee gets cold by toshikazu kawaguchi

to sleep in a sea of stars by christopher paolini

the wicked king by holly black

too much and never enough by mary trump

the queen of nothing by holly black

the pale dreamer by samantha shannon

the bone season by samantha shannon

the mime order by samantha shannon

the song rising by samantha shanon

the mask falling by samantha shannon

when no one is watching by alyssa cole

hood feminism by mikki kendall

lock every door by riley sager

the removed by brandon hobson

black buck by mateo askaripour

girl a by abigail dean

the fifth season by n.k. jemisin

the obelisk gate by n.k. jemisin

the vanishing half by britt bennet

the stone sky by n.k. jemisin

one to watch by kate syman-london

the flatshare by beth o’leary

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid

get a life, chloe brown by talia hibbert

the hating game by sally thorne

code name verity by elizabeth e. wein

raybearer by jordan ifueko

take a hint, dani brown by talia hibbert

the nightingale by kristin hannah

a curse so dark and lonely by brigid kemmerer

home before dark by riley sager

luster by raven leilani

dash and lily’s book of dares by rachel cohn and david levithan

legendborn by tracy deonn

send for me by lauren fox

uncomfortable conversations with a black man by emmanuel acho

caste by isabel wilkerson

crazy rich asians by kevin kwan

the lost apothecary by sarah penner

arsenic and adobo by mia p. manansala

illuminae by amie kaufman/jay kristoff (disclaimer: bought the book on a recommendation before i knew about the whole j k/ristoff….thing. if i read the other books in the series, they’ll be coming from the library or used)

a court of silver flames by sarah j. maas

the ex talk by rachel lynn solomon

interior chinatown by charles yu

the gilded ones by nanina forna

the making of biblical womanhood: how the subjugation of women became gospel truth by beth allison barr

king of scars by leigh bardugo

rule of wolves by leigh bardugo

fable by adrienne young

from blood and ash by jennifer l. armentrout

a kingdom of flesh and fire by jennifer l armentrout

a crown of gilded bones by jennifer l armentrout

anna k by jenny lee

imposter syndrome by kathy wang

verity by colleen hoover

realm breaker by victoria aveyard

the ivies by alexa donne

the assasin’s blade by sarah j. maas

severence by ling ma

the maidens by alex michaelides

uncanny valley by anna wiener

namesake by adrienne young

the wolf and the woodsman by ava reid

admission by jean hanff korelitz

can’t even: how millenials became the burnout generation by anne helen petersen

survive the night by riley sager

TOTAL JAN 2021 - JUNE 2021: 73

[mysticmilks]

An arranged marriage -au

Chapter 2

Kylo rushes to Hux. No, no, he hopes the man doesn't strangle himself to death or had a heart attack or what else could happen to the spoiled viscount, who left his home without his entourage for the first time? Could he believe in his acting so much to die from a shock? Whatever happened, it can't mean anything good for Kylo.

When he’s reached Hux on the backseat he touches his neck and searches for the pulse. Yes, it’s there. He is alive, that's a reliever. Kylo realizes with an annoyance he was holding his breath. No need of burying the body. He feels stupid, probably overreacted and the man is just sleeping tired after a sleepless night.

The man apparently finally decided to rest and he will wake him for more of his genuine performance. -Your Lordship, are you asleep? - the dumbest question one can ask, and the man doesn’t respond. He should leave him there and continue to drive without his constant wriggling and wailing through the gag.

Instead of that, he lightly slaps Hux's cheeks. No reaction, his head is his head is hanging in an uncomfortable position, if not for the safety belt he would have already fallen forward. Kylo carefully removes the gag and shakes him a little. -Armitage?

He slightly opens his eyes, then coughs and rapidly blinks “Air... breath ... hard to breathe.” - his words mixed with horrible wheezes. Kylo cut off the ropes across his chest and remove them.

-Better? “My head is spinning, could you ... sir” - his voice is so small, and he is visibly trembling - “I need to ... I'm going to be sick …” - more coughing and gagging noises - “...please, sir.”

“Okay, wait a sec, hold it” - he takes shaking and gasping for air Armitage. The man can’t stand with his hands and legs tied so he just puts him on the ground near their vehicle. Kylo’s used an extra rope simply for the show. And now his client lies there and looks miserable when he tries to brace himself on the ground while he is trying to puke. Kylo does regret his client-oriented tieing right now.

“I’ll help you, my lord.” -he gingerly comes in front of the man so he won’t be scared by him “Can you give me your hands?”

Man doesn't look at him, his face covered with a mess of a hair, but he holds out bonded hands in front of himself. Kylo cuts the ropes with his knife, and repeat that with his legs.

The man still looks miserable, but at least his position is more comfortable now. Hux probably never been alone while feeling unwell, he was raised in a castle, in one of the wealthiest families in the country, he was always surrounded by an army of doctors and servant.

With this in mind, Kylo decides to try to comfort young viscount, to show him he is not alone and it’s nothing to fear. He comes closer to him and puts a hand on his shoulders in intend to gently rub it but the man flinches from his touch. He removes the hand and looks closely at it. It’s big, with rough skin from his training. Why he even decided to do it? It’s okay, Kylo doesn't care about it. He shouldn’t touch his clients.

-It going to be fine - He shouldn't say if he doesn’t even understand what’s going on with the man. While Hux is standing on all fours trembling and making gurgling and coughing noises, it occurs to Kylo maybe he has some illness his loving father inconveniently forgot to mention. Kylo's heard about the man who needs to eat every couple hours or he'd faint. Maybe Armitage has something similar.

But he doesn't know what else he could do now, hence he is staying there like a guard, who apparently he is in this mission.

He’s trying not to look at his shaling back, to give the man some semblance of privacy. his eyes go down and he notices his still bare feet. They are pale and smooth like rest of his skin. It’s chilly outside, viscount must be cold in his thin nightgown and without shoes. Maybe Kylo should bring some spare clothes from the car or cover him with a jacket. He will ask him when the men stop.

"Water, sir" - he is still kneeling, his voice barely audible and face hidden "I need some water!" -Yes, your Lordship, wait here. - He is going to his bag on the front seat to fetch some water when he hears a running noise.

Fuck! He can’t believe it all was some more of the weak show. And now his client decides it's time to play "a runaway bride" part. Kylo ponders for a few seconds to wait near their vehicle until Armitage come to his senses or get tired and get back, but little lordling can be enough stubborn to decide to go back to his father home, and Kylo would be dishonored, lost his money and reputation. Or that brat can lose his royal ass in the forest, Kylo’d need to find him. Anyhow more trouble for him if he'd decide to wait.

Thus he is chasing him through the forest. Moreover, now he feels fooled and angry so he wants to punish young Hux for this cheap trick. Kylo bets he was never disciplined in his life, no one ever raised a voice to him, and he decideв he can act as he wants. He is the client but that it!

How could Kylo be so obtuse to believe him? It’s all that ridiculous fantasy about Armitage. He’s seen a pretty face and forgot he is on the job. To Kylo’s credit, it never happens to him before, he never lost control on a mission, but he never participated in ceremonies for the amusement of rich folks before too. So it has nothing to do with a pretty face, and the face is not that pretty anyways. He just felt lonely lately, no time to find a good laid.

“Stop! I swear I'll spank you when I catch you!" if he is going to be a child, Kylo is going to punish him like one. "Your father only demanded not to touch your face, but other parts weren’t of limit!" Kylo is screaming while running through the thick woods, glimpses of white fabric and red are visible ahead of him amind green and brown. "Your ass will be so sore when I finish with you, not only you can't seat on during your wedding feast but even consummate your marriage. Believe me, I've foreseen your so beloved husband won't like it!”

Hux runs pretty fast with his long legs and he had a head start but Kylo is much faster so he eventually catches him up and knocks him down to the ground.

“Are you crazy?” he straddles him from behind and holds his wrists behind his back with one hand and push his head to the ground with another. They both are panting. “I'm tired of your games”

-Release me, stupid goon! Immediately! It's an order!

There are so much hatred and anger in his voice all pretense weakness from illness is abandoned. Kylo starts to suspect the man got lost in his own act.

There were furious fighting, an appearance of being ill, running away and now they are back to fighting and screaming! Will he fake illness once again in a couple of hours? Kylo is part of an ancient order, he was trained from the birth, but he is stuck here with this shallow nobleman who, for some petty reason, fancies himself as a great actor. He shouldn’t be here, in this forest, with this man, he was bound to do great deeds not to be an extra in other person wedding play! So he starts laughing, all of this is simply absurd!

"What was your brilliant plan?" - his voice is full of taunting. He wants to hurt him with the truth, to show him how foolish he is. He releases Armitage’s hands and stands up above him- "To broke your legs somewhere in this woods, to meet a wild animal, and be bitten, to get lost?"

Hux turns around and lifts himself up so he is sitting now and facing him. The front of his nightgown is dirty, brown and green from dirt and grass as well as his face. The man is looking at him with disdain, but Kylo can't stop laughing, this day has gone totally wrong.

“All of this to go extra miles for the old ritual! Were you that bored in your castle? Poor little Armitage, tired to play with of his daddie's wealth” all his anger is drained away, all he can feel now is disgust with these people. “Can't you wait for a day to play all the roles you want in the bedroom with your husband, your lordship? Or you are so used to people to do whatever you want, you can’t even imagine that you aren’t the most important person in the world.“

Hux is still looking quietly at him, his face cringed. Good, he deserved this.

“You are just a pathetic spoiled boy!” Kylo, with his most “eat shit” smile on the face, gives him his hand so he can manage to pull himself. ”Get up, your Lordship. We need to continue our sacred journey to your wedding destination.”

Armitage pushes his hand off, not making a move to get up. “You are even obtuser than I've initially thought. You still don't get it, merc” his voice still uneven from running and screaming but unexpectedly there is a lot of contempt and mockery in it too. “Brendol fooled you.”

“It's getting old! - he moves his hand once again to him to pull young viscount up. “Let's move!”

"He fooled you" - he says slowly with a scoff "And you believed his plain lie"

-Quit your play

“There is no play” he sighted “Just an old man who doesn't take no for an answer and a father who would sell his son for money and power.”

-What are you talking about? -Brendol didn't hire you for a pretense kidnapping but for real one. -Cut the crap, he told me about your traditions, you need to fight to show ...

“Yes” - he interrupted Kylo - “there are still pairs who fake kidnapping so they can marry if their parent opposes it”. he sounds like he is giving a lesson to an especially stupid kid “For others, it’s merely a part of a wedding feast when the bride or groom are kidnapped and guests need to participate in games to find them. During a feast. For fun.”

“It doesn’t make any sense. Why would your father lie to me, he could just order a kidnapping?” - Kylo doesn't understand that his order is famous for doing many things much worse than kidnapping for the force-wedding.

-He is a proud man, he is a ruler! He knows I’d never participate willingly in the ceremony, and it would be a disgrace for him if I made a scene in front of all the guest and the press. If people found out his son doesn't obey him he'd lose his reputation. How can he control troops if he can’t control his own son? But this way he can play it as my decision to elope for a secret wedding. If it's a romantic decision of a stupid boy who will mind? You may not believe me but it's true.

They are silent for a while, there’re only soft sounds of the forest around them. Somehow Kylo knows the man doesn't lie, nobody is that good at acting. This hapless Armitage is going to be force married and Kylo is now a part of it. This new knowledge must change everything, it must, except in the real world, it doesn't. He still has a job to finish, he still has his honor, status, his order and he must obey its rules. He can't break a contract even if his client is an asshole who sold his own son.

“Let's go back to the car.” - Kylo is deliberately not looking into his face but to the surface of the stream next to the place he’s lying, on the light that’s playing on the water. He doesn't want to know what Hux is thinking of him right now, presumably nothing good.

It's been a couple of minutes and the man didn't move.

-Let's go back to the car. -I have money, I can pay you! -Let's! go! Back! To the car!

Even if the question was only about the money, Kylo seriously doubts this man has something that doesn’t belong to his father. But money can fix it, they both know it. Armitage stands up but doesn't move to him. Kylo comes closer and stops mere inches away from him.

“I don't enjoy it and that isn't fair!”- Kylo says quietly, he tries to maintain calm voice, even though he wants to scream, and punch somebody, preferably some reach old bastard - “Your father is a piece of shit but he also one of the most influential people in this country. You should have obeyed him, it’d be better for everybody” - it’d be better for you. Whoever he is bound to marry, probably isn’t happy his sweet prize don’t want to marry him and humiliated him in Brendol's eyes.

-You can just let me go, tell them I've run away, tell them I've slit my own throat, tell them I've fallen from the cliff. -Go to the car, if it needed I'll drag your ass there! - he finally looks him in the eyes to show how serious he is about it, and Armitage doesn’t look away.

“We can run together! They won't seek us until the next day, you told that yourself, and we can be far away until that. You are brave, aren’t you, merc?” - Hux leans closer- “A mighty warrior as you are can easily outrun my father’s guard. You can find work in another country! I can work for you!” -What will you do? - he is smirking, he did not fall for cheap flattery, but he can listen where young viscount is going with this “Whoever you want” - Hux closes the gap between them, their bodies are touching now. “I can be you accounter, I’m good with numbers." Hux’s nightgown is so thin he can feel the warms of his body, "I can help you with negotiations." he is whispering in Kylo’s ear " I can wait for you in your home to greet you after hard working day”, his hand brushes along Kylo's side. “I can be yours” - his breath is warm on Kylo’s neck, hair on his nape is standing. Kylo feels one of Hux’s hand on his ass, and the other stroking his shoulder. Kylo, please pops up in his mind.

-What are you doing? - he catches Hux’s hands. His voice is hoarse, he doesn’t want to stop, but they can't continue. -You don't want me? Kylo should say no, he really should, but he doesn't answer. The thought is so tempting and he remembers his fantasy, which feels more like a vision now, so vividly. They could run away together, he is smart and skilled, they could get in the car, change direction, start a new life together, but it’d mean to abandon everything, to run for the rest of their lives.

-Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you! - Hux probably meant it as a seductive, but it sounds strange, desperate, like a rehearsed line from some vid. Has he ever said something like this before?

-Whatever I want? -Yes! -So you would rather go to a shady deal with merc who you don’t know, who can use you then betray you than marry that guy? -I'd drop to my knees and suck your cock right now for the mere possibility to avoid that marriage! - he says with frantic determination. He is definitely isn’t concerned about his purity and chastity right now. -Why?- Kylo must know the answer, he must understand what drives strange actions of young viscount before he makes any rash decision. - Why do you think I'll be any better than him? You don’t know anything about me, you don’t even know my name.

Hux is uncertain. There is a long pause between them. He looks somewhere in the woods and sighs before he starts quietly speaking again. -There are rumors he had multiple young wives and husbands who died or disappeared under strange circumstances.

Hux still isn't looking at him. Kylo has to ask but he fears he already knows the answer. -Who is your betrothed?

Hux is silent, Kylo knows he asked the right question. -Just tell me.

An old and powerful man, who is richer than Hux family, who isn’t much concerned if a story with force marriage became public knowledge, the man who like to play with new toys, but these toys tend to break. -Are you promised to Snoke?

[mel-loves-all]

“A Touch Unlike Any Other”

A Olicity Historical AU:  Touch can be so much more than just, physical.

A/N:  T-rated and 1 chapter of ?.   I’ve been struggling with writer’s block for a while and wanted to say thank you to three lovely friends for their friendship and never ending cheerleading.  It is so appreciated.  xo @tinaday3w @hope-for-olicity @quiveringbunny

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1

London, Spring of 1816

Oliver Queen, the Earl of Archer, concentrated on taking his next breath as he attempted to keep the piercing noises of the jubilant ballroom suppressed to a tolerable irritation.   Draw air in, as if inhaling the pleasing scent of a blooming flower.  Ease out, to attempt to relax.  Draw in.  Ease out.  Draw in.  Ease out. He repeated his personal mantra over and over in his mind.  If he could keep his concentration he just might make it through the night without embarrassing himself and his family.  

“Oliver?”  His mother’s soft inquiry of concern, and the instant withdrawal of her hovering fingers from where they had deceptively appeared to rest upon his sleeve, pulled Oliver’s attention towards blue eyes that were so much like his own.   Love and an unspoken understanding of what he was experiencing shown through them and gave him the strength and fortitude to reach for her hand.  He ignored the discomfort and pain, of touching and being touched by someone, and placed her fingers upon his arm and escorted her further into the crowd.

He heard a gasp of surprise then a sigh of gratefulness escape his mother’s lips at his rare touch and his pain intensified.  He hated his weakness and the hurt it caused those he loved.  

They both stood out amongst the colorful ‘peacocks’ of the ton, not just because of Oliver’s severe yet, classic black evening wear with white downy cravat and his mother’s elegant cream satin gown.  But because the Earl of Archer had not been seen since his return from the war.

Whispers of why, surrounded him even as the crowd thankfully parted and he spotted a man, whom he owed a tremendous debt, across the room.  As he made his way towards the similarly conservatively dressed peer, William Smoak, the son of the Viscount of Somerset who had rescued Oliver from the clutches of the enemy, snippets of gossip accosted his ears.

“I don’t see any wounds,”

“We had heard he was disfigured,”

“Not like he once was,”

Oliver swallowed the bile that rose in his throat as the last words cut him as painfully as a sword.  And he knew exactly what damage a sword, both razor sharp and duller, as to prolong suffering, could wield.  His own screams were a testament to that knowledge.

Draw in. Ease out.

Memories of brave friends lost and the worst side of humanity assailed Oliver.  These silly entitled people laughing and enjoying the evening, who drank and ate to excess, would never truly understand that…wounds were not just physical.  They could not see the appalling lines of scars that ran along his body nor the crippling psychological walls that kept him from the simplest of human comfort…touch.

No, Oliver would never be like he once was.  That carefree bachelor without a care in the world was long gone.  Now stood a man, trying to claw his way back from the bloody battlefields of a foreign country.

~~~~~~~

Lady Felicity Smoak, the youngest of two siblings, watched her older brother turn at the arrival of a tall and stunningly, handsome man who was accompanied by an equally tall older woman, whom Felicity assumed was his mother or aunt, as the familial resemblance was undeniable.  

Felicity’s eyes were drawn to the stranger’s luxurious dark, cropped hair, chiseled jaw and innate virility, but they lingered when she instinctively felt his aloneness.  He was beautiful, yet…there was something about him.  

As a woman, who felt she was not a Helen of Troy, who enjoyed getting lost in a book rather than learn to flirt or be coy; who had yet to experience the romance that filled the pages of many of her favorite novels and who watched life unfold from behind uncommon glass spectacles…she understood.

She had never felt such an acute surety.  His profound loneliness was an intimate realization and when his intense gaze unexpectedly swept towards her, as if he had felt the connection too, she flushed with awareness.  A flash of interest and curiosity swirled in the pretty depths of his ocean blue eyes before he broke the brief link to look at William.  She felt oddly bereft at the loss of his regard.

“Archer, it is a pleasure to see you,”  Felicity’s heart stopped then raced at the name of the man her brother greeted with genuine respect.  

She could now place a face to the man her brother had mentioned only once when deep in his cups of wine.  Her brother had come home nine months earlier, after three years away, to find his younger sister a mature woman of the age of nineteen.  Felicity had never seen her brother drunk except for that one night.  It had been after a fortnight of quietly watching him struggle to adjust to the myriad of difficulties, nightmares and guilt that came from being home again when she found him in the library during a late night storm.  As rain and lightening pounded the earth her brother had shared the incredible story of his last mission.  

His battalion had been dispatched to locate and rescue the leader of a small unit of five men who had been sent on a dangerous mission to gather intel from a French occupied town.  Four men of that covert unit had made their way back to the British line with a tale of torture and imprisonment at the hands of a sadistic enemy.  Their Captain had taken the brunt of the torture and with his last reserves attacked and distracted their captors so his men could escape.  

When William’s battalion arrived at the isolated farm, where the man was last seen, they found his battered body that had been left for dead.  Miraculously he lived.  Barely a pulse under the gruesome bruises, cuts and welts that covered his skin, but still alive.  William’s voice had been so full of heartache, disbelief and admiration, for the broken man he had found and brought back to safety, that it had brought Felicity to tears.  That broken man, was the Earl of Archer.

“You as well, Somerset.  My congratulations and best wishes on your recent marriage.  May I introduce my mother, Countess of Archer. ” Felicity was brought back to the present as the Earl of Archer’s dark, rich baritone stroked across her already sensitive skin.  His voice was as alluring as its owner.

“Thank you. We are beyond happy.  May I introduce my wife, the Viscountess Lady Smoak,“ Felicity’s sister-in-law Katherine and second favorite person in the world after William, curtsied, then William turned to Felicity.  “And my sister, Lady Felicity Smoak.”

Felicity curtsied, the effervescent emerald green of her gown shimmered in the candlelight, and as she stood up she met the kind smile of the Countess and the enigmatic look of the Earl of Archer.  She could no longer read him.  He had put them all at arms length.  

“Perchance we could meet for a ride one day soon, Archer,”  William offered as the orchestra begun to play the opening notes to the next dance.

“Oh, what a wonderful idea William.  Perhaps the Earl and the Countess would like to join us at Somerset for a day of riding and visiting?” Katherine chimed in, with her usual delightfully sunny disposition.  Felicity had yet to meet anyone who could tell Katherine no.

“I am sorry, I..”

“We would love to,” the Countess gently interrupted her son and after a moment of silence the Earl tipped his head in acceptance.

“My mother and I would be honored,”

~~~~~~~~~

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