#the crypt of randomness

[freebirdyance]

🗡

It had been a long...long day of business meetings and listening to people drone on about shit he wasn't particularly interested in. He just wanted to know the basics: how was something going to make him money and grow his operations?

He still had business to attend to and it was only the afternoon. Feeling drained, he has his driver stop at a Cafe on the way back to his place. Apparently they made pretty good coffee and a bite to eat didn't sound bad, either. The black Escalade pulls into a spot and Yancy has one guy accompany him as he heads inside.

[asterius-of-crete]

Well, he was certainly confident. And while his sass was a little annoying, Random also found it amusing.

“Yes, let’s go.” Finally.

She grabs his hand tightly, readying herself for the trip home.

How long have I been gone, anyway?

Walking with Asterius is always disorienting for those who are not used to it, and even then. He grips Random's hand tightly, because he doesn't wish to lose her. Even he doesn't know where the people he loses go.

When they finally arrive back on her world, it's dark. He'd made sure of it. Never tell him he doesn't do things for others.

"Here you are," he tells her blithely. "Now, behave, will you? I'd like to find you again, and I'm not keen on finding your ashes." He grins and steps away. If she doesn't say anything, he's going back to Knossos.

[abe-reporting]

(Ask meme! :D)

42!

If invited to a TED Talk, what topic would they present on? What would the title of their presentation be?

He would probably talk about the importance of being more aware of your surroundings and how to look out for things that don't seem right. What to do if you think you're being followed, etc. He's seen a lot of cases involving kidnapping and other ugly things, and he would want to help people be prepared.

He would call it 'Street Smarts: How Paying Attention Can Possibly Save Your Ass'

[the-graves-family]

(Permission has been granted by Apis to do this! Going with regular AU instead of dark!)

As much as Random would enjoy soaking a certain minotaur, she figures it’d be smart to go for a more…friendlier target.

This universe had a pair of twins, Ace and Aaron, who apparently were a bit Abel and Cain-like. Once she managed to make sense of who’s who, Random immediately tracks down Ace. Spotting him, she puts away her water pistol in favor of a bright pink water balloon before cautiously approaching.

“Um, hi! Ace, right? I think you deserve some silliness and fun.”

Random makes a small show out of juggling the balloon from hand to hand before tossing it at Ace.

Aaron often gets visitors, but the woman who approaches Ace isn't someone he's seen around the house before. Nor does she seem like one of Aaron's friends.

He's wary, always is when someone comes close to him, but he stops himself from just leaving. He should hear her out, if she has something to say.

Of course that something turns out to be a water balloon.

Should he be upset that he got some water on his leg? Yeah, probably. But the ridiculousness of the situation has him smiling a bit, not quite managing a laugh.

Ace looks at Random, picking off the remains of the balloon from his shirt. Judging by the color... "Hello. Did Wilford send you?" He asks, no judgement in his voice, because honestly.

This does seem like something Wilford would orchestrate.

[smashthegiantkiller]

This isn’t really a question, more of a statement but… I can safely say I’m a Shane fan (yes, regardless of drama). Been watching some Attitude era and beyond to “catch up” and just… Shane is many kinds of wonderful. Your blog and others have also cemented that, so thank you! :D

Awwww, thank you so much! I truly appreciate when someone enjoys my madness.

Random question, were you the one that has been trying to join the Discord group? I saw that you tried to join a couple of times, and then left the server.

[pinacoladamatata]

Can't believe we got Astarion standing outside cazador's house like the sickos meme. Just basking in the sunlight. Like what are they gonna do? Open the door?

Cazador:

Once this sun goes down it's over for you motherfuckers!!

[martyrbat]

[ID: a drawing of Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne in their respective costumes. They're both shown from the neck up and it appears like Clark is leaning his head into Bruce with a slightly pensive expression. He side-eyes a glance up at Bruce, who has his head tilted so he can rest it against his—his bare cheek nuzzled into Clark's hair and his eyes closed with a quiet contentment. END ID]

[ID: the first photo is a screenshot showing the above drawing was originally published on October 12th, 2015 by professional comic book artist Matthew Clark (@/emceeartist on Instagram). He captioned it, “The original bromance.”

The second photo shows the comment section, where @/iambradwalker commented, “Superman seems bummed out by their relationship. Who would think Batman would be the one more into ANY relationship?!” Matthew replied, “as the top, Batman seems to have found his bliss. Which may bum Superman out.” END ID]

[downtherabbitholewithlucy]

Limp Bizkit recording 'Take a look around'

[x1702x]

I love getting harassed on reddit by neckbeards (Sarcasm)

I reported both of them im ok dont worry loves they r mf losers 😭😭 TAKE A SHOWER IMMEDIATELY

[ded-lime]

[in-fair-verona-we-set-our-scene]

I do think Withers has a really subtle background character arc in bg3. Because at the start it is really clear he doesn't want to be here and he's being forced to clean up his mess by Helm and probably Ao. He doesn't really care either. Everything ends so nothing really matters, he'd like to go back to his paperwork now please.

Except he's stuck babysitting a bunch of traumatized dumbasses as they stumble into dealing with the most recent bad idea of his three fuck-up disappointments. So he brings them back when they die for a pittance, lets them pay for some vengeful ghosts to come back as flesh and blood to wreak bloody vengeance on the Absolute, and starts to... comment, on what's going on, as he follows them on their adventure.

Next thing you know Withers is like, doing things unprompted. He refuses to bring back Alfira (or Quil) but that's an act of compassion, keeping the poor girl from the Urge and letting her rest, his actual duty as a god of death. He tells Arabella to follow her destiny and does that thing to make her grief go away which honestly freaks me out but seems to be him trying to help her. He shows up at Moonrise and prompts us to consider why the Dead Three would want a bunch of soulless illithids that would give them no power, getting us to think of the big picture.

And by the end (especially if you do a resist!Durge playthrough) Withers is actively interfering and seems genuinely invested! He brings Durge back from the dead, free of their father! He encourages us before the final fight with the Netherbrain! He's real fucking smug that the Dead Three lost when he never seemed to care about the destruction they caused before! He throws a reunion party and many of his lines are genuinely touching or kind! Especially if a companion died permanently! He has tea with Gale's mom and Tara! He's like, socializing and shit! Yes, everything is temporary and we all die, but there's great beauty in fighting for that precious time and living it to the fullest!

Basically Wither's character arc is this meme, all because Helm made him go outside and touch grass.

[freebirdyance]

*staring respectfully* So, do you prefer living in the water or on land? Don't worry, I'm not one to judge, just curious.

"Nothing wrong with being curious, darling. The water will always be my true home."

Yancy runs a hand through his hair. "I will admit that there are many things I've grown to like on land; fine dining, adoring fans... just to name a few."

[asterius-of-crete]

She rolls her eyes and stops pacing.

"I could call you 'bull boy.' Would you like that? Besides, I didn't bite you again in your sleep, so cut me some slack."

She taps her foot and nods. At least there's a steady supply of blood back home, and humans are less of a hassle than he was.

"Yes, please, send me back. Though, word of advice? If you visit Earth on your own, you might wanna be careful at night. There are lots of us around."

She grins slightly at him, though her tone is serious.

"Ah yes, you had more self-control than a mosquito. I should commend you," Asterius sniped back, crossing his arms over his chest. He's doing his best not to become... aggravated again.

Maybe he should just drop Random in another maze and let her figure it out.

"No human, alive or dead, scares me," he tells her, tone just as serious. "They may try to hurt me, and they'll end up as dust beneath me."

Huffing, he holds out a hand. "Enough. Let us leave."

[napstalone]

My friend slime

[the-graves-family]

(For both boys, mafia au!)

What’s the lie your character says most often?

Aaron

He lies like he breathes. Honesty for the sake of honesty is a foreign concept. Anything to get the upper hand. Because of that, it's hard to pinpoint the one lie he uses more than the others.

"Don't worry, this isn't going to hurt a bit."

Ace

He doesn't like lying, and is, in fact, terrible at it. Honesty has been drilled into him to avoid him getting ideas and keeping secrets from his brother. That being said, he will occasionally lie, and it will always be the same one.

"It's okay, I'm fine!"

[smashthegiantkiller]

Trying to think of a tough one for that ask. Hm...

Young Shane or Current Shane? 😈

Oh wow, you had to come for my neck, eh?

Lol, Jk.

I will always have a special place in my heart for young Shane, but there is just something about current Shane that's just.... well, you get where I'm going with this.