#the delilah was me tho i did that one on purpose

[plasma-packin-mama]

n. . nyarcade gannyan

[horrorlesbians]

im halfway through season 2 of you and i just realized i don't like any of the characters? joe is a pathetic creep so he's our of question and like the rest of the characters are so fucking annoying and obnoxious and fake? the only charactet decent enough is love (also kudos to however came up with the worst names for all the fucking characters ive yet to hear one name that doesn't make me cringe)

oh the names for this show suck, but the season two names totally fit rich LA (if i remember correctly) and same with peach being from a rich family. i honestly don't think we are supposed to like joe as a character, he's too pathetic for me to like him. i can like characters that do horrific shit as long as they are well-written characters, and all we really got from joe in season two was some trauma explanation but it doesn't make me like him more. i understand more know how he became the man he is but that doesn't make me like him. i arguably liked him more in season one bc of how funny his lack of experience with murder was.

even though hannibal does horrific shit there is just something so likable about his character (maybe it's my dad issues). i lowkey hated beck halfway through season one and for how she acted in the finale and candace annoyed me bc she didn't have a strong enough purpose in the narrative. love is probably the most compelling character, i liked peach from a character standpoint too.

i do think a lot of the minor/side characters in season two are supposed to be fake and obnoxious, kinda like becks friends are in season one. bc narrative/story wise it makes sense for them to be obnoxious and unlikable to stand in the way of joe and his love interest (or maybe the writers did it to get the audience on his side bc we hate the other characters, unsure). i did like delilah and ellie tho.

[vaguely-concerned]

I played Death of the Outsider finally and I have some Feelings about it

and most of them not very positive. nice stuff first tho!

THINGS I LIKED:

- billie is such a good character. still new to her old self and slightly tender from coming out of the protective shell of lies that was meagan foster, full of old scars and doubts and bitterness but trying for something better, something kinder even though she still doesn’t quite understand what she’s walking towards -- the genuine care and tenderness in her voice when she talks to daud or thinks about deidre. I love her.

all that and she effortlessly IS also the queer disabled woc the gamer bros refuse to believe could possibly exist. exquisite. 

- the idea of ‘killing’ the outsider is compelling, but it’s the sort of idea that needs a full length game to support it and its implications. cool idea, completely wrong execution.

- saying that: I love that the injustice of the outsider’s creation being righted is only made possible by a long unbroken line of mercy and kindness. daud saved billie from the streets, corvo spared daud, daud saved emily and spared billie after her betrayal, billie tried to save aramis stilton and became entangled in the void, emily spared billie, billie took this job in the first place partly because she loves her dad daud and wants him to find peace. that idea is so beautiful that I wish the rest of the narrative was strong enough to hold it up lol.

there’s also something going on here with other people holding on to the important pieces of you -- that billie is ‘all that is left’ of daud after he’s dead. once he saved a child from true loneliness and gave her a purpose, made her feel seen again, gave her the closest thing she had to a home, and when he’s completely lost himself in the void... that kindness is still alive in billie, and she helps him find his way. again that is really touching and thoughtful and plays wonderfully into the chaos system in these games thematically! too bad about all the stilted dialogue and characterization messes and uh. everything else. 

- most of all I love how clear it is that billie and daud love each other. it’s a quiet love that has nothing to prove anymore, it’s survived all the blood and the ugliness and everything they’ve done to each other and to the world, a love with no demands left. it’s not the sort of love you usually see, in all its unsentimentality, but it’s real. when daud tells her he’s proud of her and trusts her no matter what she chooses to do, you feel how much he means it. (making his insistence on trying to make her choice for her all the weirder -- see my long rant of lamentation about his characterization in doto below lol)

there’s something about daud’s undramatic yet complete acceptance of and respect for billie that... I didn’t know I needed this, but it was a nice gift nonetheless haha, thank you. (it’s similar to how good it feels in D2 when you realize corvo just likes emily a lot as a person, even aside from her being his daughter. a good series for father & daughter stories)

- this carries over from D2, but I think the journal/log entries are better written and more insightful than the stuff out in the world.  

- it cannot be overstated how much the gameplay loop of these games is just... pure crack cocaine for my brain haha, very few things give me this specific kind of brain tingle. I love the sound of looting and I love the art style and ambiance and I love planning out a strategy after finding all the options and I love never being spotted or killing anyone and I love the puzzle elements they put into exploration sections and I love the feeling of how you move through the environment. it’s one of the few games where I routinely get so into it I end up with a crick in the neck because I’ve been so focused for so long and never noticed I’ve been sitting in a way that makes my entire spine hate me. I needed something to get me through the last few days and it did deliver that, at least. karnaca is pretty enough that I didn’t even mind that most of the levels were recycled from D2 either. 

- I’m not quite sure whether I understood this right but there’s a woman standing behind daud in the void -- I wonder if that is actually his mother and he’s been so close this whole time? at first I thought maybe it was jessamine but god no I hope she’s finally at peace after All That Nonsense, she shouldn’t have to hang around there anymore. there’s also a figure near him I could swear was corvo with his mask on, but he’s not dead canonically so that would make very little sense. oh well I’ll take my feels where I can get them even if I have to make them up wholesale  

- the bankheist was cool as fuuuuuck, that and the emotional impact of daud dying was sadly the height of this game for me, after that it all went mediocre real quick     

- paul nakauchi as shan yun was, as I have said before, a blast. ‘ugh I cannot continue my throat is as raw as a plucked pheasant’ fsdkfhlsadjkhfas

- daud’s funeral is genuinely touching. she gave him the entirety of her old life for a sendoff, battered and worn and dear as they both were. someone hold me 

THINGS I  H A T E D:

- the stuff they did with daud’s characterization. I am so unreasonably angry over this haha, the more I think about it the more I hate it. I think there are paths you could go with his ACTUAL character to make this work, but this was not it. I’ve said this before, but his most iconic, most defining scene is him surrendering himself to corvo’s judgement without justifying himself or deflecting the blame for any of what he’s done. this isn’t even regression in his character, it’s just.. a different character altogether. they could have gone for the angle that delilah almost managed to end the world b/c daud showed mercy and that’s the reason he’s moved to action, I think that might be a more compelling motivation for him at least. OR have him be more conflicted about how to do things -- violence is still the only tool he knows how to use but it’s not what he wants to or even can be anymore and the conflict troubles him, ‘His hands do violence, but there is a different dream in his heart’. or even use a different character for the ‘kill kill kill’ angle, he didn’t need to be here for this dlc at all.   

also, just on a purely practical level... for all his flaws and longstanding moral shortsightedness daud is not a stupid man. why the FCK would he be so sure that killing the outsider will fix anything? if I, dumbass extraordinaire, could within half a minute wonder if maybe something even worse would take the outsider’s place if you removed him... why does that never occur to the Knife of Dunwall tm, a man about Void for like half a century or whatever?? ugh fuck this, I’m having a hard time explaining exactly why it all feels weird and wrong to me, but know that it does and that I Do Not Like It lol. I feel cheated out of something important I thought I had.  

- again, this should have been a full game. (I think it is sold as one already, but it just hm isn’t) there’s way too much shit of literal cosmic importance for the game’s universe being picked up here for something this short to cover. save this HUGE idea for a rainy day should you ever want to do another game in the series and do something else with the dlc, honestly. 

- god but the outsider is insufferable in this. I don’t know what happened, but by the end I was like ‘*thoughtfully strokes chin* maybe daud has a point billie keep that knife handy’. he’s annoying and boring, which is wild to me because he was always a lot of fun in the other games.

for real tho I don’t know if this is just my atheist-but-still-angry-at-god-somehow??? talking, but daud HAS a point. people are responsible for their own actions, but the outsider didn’t have to do any of what he did either. he could have chosen to be bored through the centuries instead of seeing what people would do if you gave them such ~*morally neutral*~ abilities as y’know summoning a bunch of rats to eat other people. the game wants me to buy the ‘but really this black eyed boy is woobie tho uwu’ so badly and no I’m not buying that give me my refund I want my chaotic neutral bastard back pls. I’d probably be more inclined to want to help him like that. where’s his salt gone, arkane. if you didn’t want him to be edgy why did you make him look like that.  

- this is the lamest possible version of the outsider’s backstory lol, it feels like the pearl clutching panic about satanic cults back in the day all over. listen if it’s this easy to make a god the thrill is sort of taken out of it, if these randos did it anyone could. also how the fuck are they just normal-ish people anyway? why do they follow modern fashions? haven’t they been hanging around for thousands of years, haven’t their culture changed in any meaningful way? (I realize these aren’t the same guys as back in the day but it’s just weird) why do they speak a language billie and the player can understand? why did anyone think ‘idk some cultists no one’s ever heard of before with no thematic significance whatsoever’ was the way to go world building wise? they’ve taken all the unknowable eldritchness out of the eldritch horror and we’re all poorer for it now haha 

relatedly the last level is... just not very good. you come down from the awesome bank heist and then there’s... whatever the fuck this was.

- while I do like billie finding daud in the void and him remembering her I hate that he goes out still full of self loathing and rage when you talk him into the nonlethal option, that he can’t forgive himself or find any sliver of hope or peace. I wish there had been a few more moments for the two of them to come to peace with themselves before he gave the outsider back his name, some real catharsis. as it is I was annoyed when the outsider ‘woke up’ or whatever b/c it felt like he was stealing attention from what I was actually emotionally invested in and not done with.    

they had  n o t  built up billie’s or my sympathy for the outsider well enough either. again this is something I think they could have done if they’d structured things differently, if they’d been more deliberate in making you understand he was basically a child and letting you dwell on it. because there is a parallell there between him and billie, and billie and daud, but I, how do I put this, did not give a fuck  

in short this was really similar to my experience with D2 in that there’s enough good there that it’s all the more painful when it fails to deliver on it again and again, and it ruined things I already liked about this story from the first game (daud’s arc and everything to do with the outsider, mostly). give me some months of denial and hard core headcanon work and I’ll probably be able to live with it

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

OC Tag Game!

Thanks @owen-with-dashes​ for tagging me!

Rules: Share inspiration for your characters’ names and tag some other writers!

FOSTERED

Reeve Aldaine

Actual meaning: steward, bailiff

Does the meaning connect with her character? No, hahhaha

Reeve went through a couple of names, actually (Nell was her original name, changed to Glynne I think? until I settled with Reeve). Don’t really know why I chose it, I think I was just waiting for a name that clicked! Pretty sure I didn’t actually like her name though, just grew on me over time (I like it now!). As for her last name, I chose it based on how it fit with her first name!

Harrison Frost

Actual meaning: son of harry

Does the meaning connect with his character? lol also no loool

Harrison’s name has an interesting history actually (sort of). I came up with his nickname first (Ris) after finding the name Rhys (obviously not pronounced RHIS but), and gathered inspo from there. I wanted to name a character Ris, but never made the connection between the two. I found the name Harrison, thought it was a win, and realized Ris could be a nickname. Hence, Harrison’s uncommon nickname, lol. (This in theory, should’ve been simple but alas.)Though I do prefer his full name now, pretty sure my intention was just to call him Ris throughout the series, but that’s definitely not the case now! And for his last name it’s a tragedy and I wish I could change it lol (nothing wrong with the name just think there could’ve been a better fit). 

Foster Creed

Actual meaning: Of the woods, forest

Does the meaning connect with his character? It’s his actual aesthetic tho smol forest nymph boi (not purposeful but it works)

Ha, Foster’s name has an interesting backstory too! I initially named him Foster because I just liked the name, but his name literally created the main plot. I realized Foster isn’t a *super* common name, and wanted to explain it, and 13-year-old me thought it was a great idea to say his name rep’d his experience in foster homes (and was a nickname). That basically helped me create the base plot of the foster homes, so while his name didn’t come from anything special, it did drive the plot (but no the books aren’t named after him tbh harrison is more important than him oops). Also his real name is August as in August Rush and I have no regrets. (again with the last name thing, nothing wrong with it, I just ehh.)

here’s the explanation of his name in book one ft. some very old horrible writing but he info dumps his whole life story:

“Foster, huh?” I ask, curious.

“Yeah.” He replies, shaking his head with a laugh.

“What’s the story behind it?” He sighs, as if he’s told this story one too many times.

“Ever since I was a kid, I had no clue what my name was. You see, I was put into those foster homes, well I don’t know for what reason, but anyway my parents never said anything about me, not my name, or my age, not anything. I wasn’t the greatest kid around, always making trouble, so they kept switching the foster homes I was in. Once when I was in a home with three other boys, Ris befriended me and started calling me Foster when I told him I’d switched homes seventeen times.” I blink back at him, shock overcoming me.        

*shock overcoming me*

(also the lies in what Foster says yo he’s a cinnamon roll boi u ain’t no suave boi)

Lonan Clark

Actual meaning: blackbird

Does the meaning connect with his character? yuppers cuz he flies away from all his problems

(this also leads to beautiful fanart such as:)

All by the amaaaaaazing @sarahkelsiwrites​ :) (so good!)

Lonan’s first name doesn't have much of a story, just found the name through Magic Baby Names I think, and rolled with it (magic baby names is blessed). His last name on the other hand was created because I was driving to New York, had no internet, needed a last name ASAP, saw a street sign, and the rest is history. Though I am thrilled that his name means blackbird, lol the beatles boi in me was like queeeeen yeesssss.

Darren Peterson

Actual meaning: great

Does the meaning connect with his character? So much yes very many yes

Pretty sure his name was going to be Dennis, lol. I think I was making his brother a character profile, and was using @sarahkelsiwrites​’ profile of her character Delilah for formatting inspo, saw the name Darren somewhere in there, stole it, and here we areeee. Also stole the last name Peterson from her, ooooops. 

Lincoln Mayhew

Actual meaning: From the settlement by the pool.

Does the meaning connect with his character? Sounds just about as pretentious as him. 

I’m pretty sure I took his name from a list, not that interesting, but tis my space to say yuppers Lincoln and Lonan are basically the same name oops I know. (I get really attached to things easily hence why I didn’t change it lol ooooops.)

Christiane “Double” Aldaine

Actual meaning: Follower of Christ

Does the meaning connect with her character? Not really heh

I decided to explain this one because it’s kind of weird, lol. Christiane “Double” Aldaine is Reeve’s younger sister, and the name backstory is *so* ?? I just ? Basically, Reeve has an older sister named Christiane too who died, so her mom named her youngest daughter after her, so Reeve (who isn’t a fan) and also to differentiate between the two, nicknames her sister Double (because she’s a double of the original name). Double is also known as ‘Chris’ in the spinoff, because she obviously doesn't know her sister calls her this. So many naaames. oof.

I’M DISAPPOINTED

Clifford Wright

Actual meaning: ford by a cliff

Does the meaning connect with his character? No, but Sarah calls him ford by a cliff a lot lol

It took me a bit to find Clifford’s name, but when I found it, typed out CLIFFORD in all caps in my document, lol. His last name didn’t stem from anything but has led to many jokes like this:

“My name’s Clifford Wright.” I start hesitantly, reading off the words Julian wrote about me with pure caution. “Which is stupid, because I know everyone thinks I’m Clifford Wrong. You know why? Because I never do anything that makes sense.”

im deceased.

“pure caution”

Ben “Benjamin” Wright and Gracelyn “Grace” Wright

Actual meaning (Ben): Son of my right hand

Does the meaning connect with his character? Ben is always your right hand man stillllll

Actual meaning (Grace): Goodness and generosity.

Does the meaning connect with her character? Grace is more like the opposite of goodness and generosity

Grouping Ben and Grace together because they share the same backstory. In 2015, I was driving back down from New York and really needed names. I found Gracelyn in my name list doc, and came up with Ben on the spot (the creativityyy)

So this was fun! Thanks again @owen-with-dashes​ for tagging me! I’m going to tag @sssoto​, @sarahkelsiwrites​, @shaelinwrites​, and @alliewritesbooks​ to do this!

--Rachel

[shestillhasherquill]

@orielspnforever cutaaaay <3 Thanks for the tag, I needed a break!

Alright, so here ‘tis

a) age: 19 (UGH WHATEVER) b) biggest fear: Being alone? And bugs and amphibians. c) current time:  12:01 AM d) drink you last had: Strawberry-Banana Smoothie. Which was like 4 hours ago. I should drink water damn e) every day starts with: Multiple snoozes of the damn alarm, brush, yoga and tea <3 f) favourite song atm: too hard, man. I guess the chorus of Dive and that one part in Castle on the Hill.

g) ghosts, are they real?: OFC NOT STFU MAN h) hometown?: CHENNAI AKA Madrasapattinam <3 i) in love with?: Who am I NOT in love with, amirite, @accio-ambition ? j) jealous of?: Can’t think of anyone atm k) killed someone?: Dreams are there for this purpose l) last time you cried: 5 weeks, 3 days. n) number of siblings: the cutest and most annoying kid brother o) one wish: I’m the asshole who will wish for three more wishes p) person you last called/texted: Called my mom, and then texted her because she didn’t pick up. Yep. q) questions you are always being asked: HOW ARE YOU SO FUNNY? YOU ARE SO FUNNY (Ofc Im not lying what are you accusing me of howdareyou?)  r) reasons to smile: Got into Uni in the UK!! Also, I got a new laptop/

s) song last sung: Mattargashti from Tamasha! In English, Hey there Delilah <3

t) time you woke up: woke up at 11:30 AM got outta bed at 2 PM  u) underwear colour: Blueee  w) worst habits: biting nails, not sleeping on time and junk food x) x-rays you’ve had: Way too many of my limbs. That’s what I get for being extremely clumsy. Not so many recently tho, so yay y) your favourite food: Ghar ka Khana (Homemade food)  z) zodiac sign: Gemini-Cancer cusp

I FINALLY DID THIS YAS. I tag @phiralovesloki @ussjellyfish @word-bug @queenmabsrevenge @captainswanismyendgame @secret-captain-swan-blog and anyone else who wants to do it!

[plasma-packin-mama]

i did a silly little chart of the relationships between the companions and delilah!!! (and benny is here). i know this isnt super interesting but sometimes u just make posts for yourself

some specific notes bc theres more nuance to their relationships and i like talking about my story LOL:

Boone and Arcade: they dont really agree on a lot, and they sort of grind each others gears. but theyre the two most important people in delilahs life so they've learned to respect one another. at the end of the day theyre not friends, but they know they can count on one another.

Boone and Lily: everyone on the team loves lily, but boone gets along with her best. he likes helping her cook and take care of the house, and listening to her talk about her life. Lily thinks that Craig is a nice, helpful young man :) during the postgame lily and boone are a common team to go on missions for New Vegas together!!

Arcade and Cass: Cass thinks arcade is pompous and judgemental. Arcade thinks Cass is rude and small minded. They're constantly sniping back and forth, and they're the only two on the team who seem to actually not like each other.

Raul and Veronica+Cass: they're the only two on the team who Raul can just chill and have a drink and a conversation with. (Delilah and Lily don't drink, Edie is a robot, Boone doesn't talk, and Arcade is somehow more annoying drunk than he is sober.) These three don't necessarily agree on everything, and they might not be friends in another world, but as it stands they all really enjoy each other's company.

Arcade and Veronica: they have so much in common I think everyone already agrees that they're besties forever. Veronica is friendly and sweet enough that she puts in the work to get over arcades awkwardness and break down his walls with her big power fist, and they just get along really well. Arcade sees his younger self in her, and wants to protect her (even tho he really doesn't feel qualified to be any kind of mentor or guide to anyone about anything). Veronica likes annoying arcade on purpose bc it's funny watching him get all >:0 grumpy. She's also the one who insists on including him when the group hangs out, much to Cass's chagrin.

Benny: if youre one of the people who has sent me asks about bennys role in delilahs story, i promise im GOING to explain. but not yet lol. its one of the most complicated dynamics in delilahs story and i want to show it through comics rather than just trying to explain awkwardly. i hope knowing that everyone but delilah wants to put him in a blender is somewhat satistying in the meantime. (thank you for asking about my story i ksis you on the forehead)

I love the characters in NV so much.. I have so many thoughts about them