#the doctor has always been asexual and always been attracted to people regardless of gender | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

royalty-of-all-things-snuggly · 3 years

Text

I posted 4,539 times in 2021

48 posts created (1%)

4491 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 93.6 posts.

I added 1,000 tags in 2021

#ts - 513 posts

#tw emoji - 153 posts

#ts spoilers - 62 posts

#lgbt - 48 posts

#soc - 46 posts

#back on my royal bullshit - 42 posts

#ask to tag - 41 posts

#dp - 39 posts

#information - 29 posts

#uquiz - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#and when i started thinking about new names my mind just replaced the first letter w my deadname initial and i thought it fit me really well

My Top Posts in 2021

The academic enby experience is wanting to get a doctorate so people will refer to you as Doctor instead of Miss/Mister

58 notes • Posted 2021-01-26 20:33:21 GMT

I think I’m short-circuiting- sir, please

(Posted to Instagram)

Original Caption: Please accept this casual Logan look 💙🪐

[ID: Thomas Sanders is posing with one hand behind his head and his face turned slightly to the side in front of a mural with light orange and blue shades on a brick wall. He is wearing a black shirt that says “I need space” over outlines of a tent, two trees, and campfire in front of mountains, stars, and a crescent moon. The campground scene and words above are white and circular in shape. He is also wearing Logan’s black glasses and a blue denim jacket with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.]

183 notes • Posted 2021-03-30 00:03:33 GMT

Me, after recognizing I’m exhibiting clear ADHD symptoms: There’s no way I’m not ADHD

Me, anytime I think about seeking professional help: nahh there’s no way I have ADHD, I’m just *insert literally any stereotypical excuse*

718 notes • Posted 2021-01-24 10:08:16 GMT

For Aro Awareness Week, I want to give a special shout out to

✨Allosexual Aromantic Guys✨

I want you to all to know:

You are valid

You are appreciated

You are important

You are a full member of the LGBT community (this includes heterosexual aros)

You are not a predator, and you are not at fault for not feeling romantic attraction

You are whole

You are valued

Feel free to add on 💚 and happy aromantic week!!!

939 notes • Posted 2021-02-24 02:08:31 GMT

One year ago, I believed I was cisgender, heteroromantic, and asexual.

Today, I know that I am nonbinary, biromantic, and asexual.

One year ago, I was a member of the LGBTQ+ community.

Today, I am still a member of the LGBTQ+ community. My understanding of myself has changed, but my membership in the LGBTQ+ community has not.

For years, I struggled to embrace this - I thought that since I was cis and heteroromantic, I couldn’t be “queer enough” to call myself LGBTQ+, but I was wrong. I have always been queer enough, regardless to how my understanding of myself has changed. Learning more about my gender identity and romantic orientation has not affected my “level” of queerness, and it has not deemed me more “worthy” of the LGBTQ+ label.

This same principle applies to you as well. If you are asexual or aromantic, regardless to how you otherwise identify, you are a full member of the LGBTQ+ community, and I am honored to have you here 💜🤍🖤

1133 notes • Posted 2021-01-22 21:46:33 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Oh my god it worked

3 notes · View notes

wordswithkittywitch · 6 years

Text

The Cake-Card-Dragon Theory of Asexuality

This is something I’ve been sitting on for almost a year, and I have to accept that it’s never going to express exactly what I want it to express, especially if I don’t share it with other people with other experiences that could expand on it. These are different types of asexuals I’ve seen in the community and different types of characters who frequently get headcanoned as asexual.

That being said, I can see how this might get oversimplified to “asexuals with feminine/neutral/masculine gender expression” but I want to emphasise it’s not actually about gender expression.

Cakes

Cakes are the asexuals who can be seen enjoying their food, playing with bath bombs, and dressing up in fabulous clothing such as lolita or new romantic. Cakes are likely to joke about “It took me three hours to get into this outfit, I’m not taking it off for anyone!” Cakes may feed into the stereotype that asexuals are prissy or stuck up, or they may get a bit continental with their kisses: a friendly greeting rather than an expression of romance. Sometimes both. They are likely to express passions, but usually towards food or comfortable living. People with a poor understanding of asexuality might say that they are replacing sex with other sensual pleasures, but that’s a very silly thing to say because allosexuals can enjoy food, fashion, and self-care just as much as asexuals.

Fictional Examples of Cakes:

The Eighth Doctor

Aziraphale

Bilbo Baggins

Cards

Cards are the asexuals who come off as intellectual and cold, even if their areas of expertise are far from the usual “intellectual pursuits”. A card is usually ready to verbally smack down people who don’t believe in asexuality with statistics, facts, and explanations of how their debating opponent has a very shaky grasp on biology. However, they may feel extremely frustrated or bored having these conversations over and over again and are rarely shy in expressing that. Cards sometimes, but not always, can present themselves as androgynous to some degree, but are usually neat and tidy in their fashion. They are also likely to be very funny people, often with dry or absurd humour. They are likely to express confusion or dismay over their allosexual friends’ behaviour, either out of genuine confusion or a rhetorical technique to try and get those who feel sexual attraction to examine their own thought processes. A card may find themselves “looking into the camera as if they’re on The Office” whether they’re a real person or not. Cards feed into the stereotype that asexuals are too absorbed by mental concerns to even be aware of their bodies. Fictional characters headcanoned as cards are often also headcanoned as autistic, but one does not necessarily preclude the other, not in fiction or real life. People with a poor understanding of asexuality might say they seem inhuman or mechanical, but cards are some of the first people to point out that a biological process shared by the entire animal kingdom is not a very good gauge of humanity.

Fictional Examples of Cards:

Sherlock Holmes

Spock

Katniss Everdeen

Dragons

Dragons are the asexuals who got really annoyed when they found out what Netflix and Chill meant, because they were ready with the blankets and popcorn. If cakes dress fancy and cards dress sharply, then a dragon dresses for comfort. They often don’t care about their clothing at all, or if they do it’s ironically or simply flying in the face of what many would consider stylish; ie. “Look at my ridiculous hat! Isn’t it the best!” Especially if said ridiculous hat is worn with their most lived-in jeans and a sweatshirt. Dragons are likely to start listing off all their interests and joke that they simply don’t have the time to be interested in sex as well. They might do this four hours into lying on their stomach watching Netflix, but those four hours of Netflix were well-spent. Often, dragons can be perceived as or wonder themselves if they are too attached to their possessions, but this is because they have decided to fill their lives with that which makes them happy, regardless of how that appears. If a dragon wants to sleep with thirty stuffed animals because they’ve been given a new one for every birthday, they aren’t going to let being thirty get in the way of cuddling their stuffed animals. Dragons may feed into the stereotype that asexuals are childish or hyperfocused on frivolous pursuits, but they can be wonderful friends because they’re fun to be around and they are just as likely to hoard a person as an item: if a dragon decides you’re one of their favourite people, they can be the most ride-or-die friend you have. If they’ve fully accepted that their life is fulfilled from interests they’ve chosen themselves, dragons can be some of the happiest people you’ve ever met. Of course, some people may say that they’re also some of the strangest people you’ve ever met, but no one consciously picks normal over happy. People with a poor understanding of asexuality might say dragons never properly grew up, but this is less a problem with the dragons and more a problem with how society expects adults to be boring and miserable.

Fictional Examples of Dragons:

Charlie Weasley

Jughead Jones

The Eleventh Doctor

#asexuality

5K notes · View notes

soulsunforgiven · 6 years

Text

BRIEF DESCRIPTIONS OF MY MUSES: SEXUALITY

ALEX MAHONE (Prison Break) - Bicurious. Secret agent. He is primarily into women and refuses to admit that he’s ever found men attractive - but it has happened before. Rare, but it has. ANGELUS (Buffy The Vampire Slayer) - Pansexual. Vampire. He generally tries to stay away from romance and sex because of various reasons, but he can and does find everyone of all genders (and some different species; humanoid ones anyway) attractive. ASH HARVELLE (Supernatural) - Gay. Genius. Only really into men; he can find women attractive but has never really been properly romantically or sexually attracted to them. They’re pretty but he definitely bats for the other team. AUDREY JENSEN (Scream) - Bicurious. Aspiring filmmaker. Leans primarily toward women, but is down to play with both teams. BALTHAZAR (Supernatural) - Pansexual. Archangel. He’s just out to have a good time and he doesn’t give a fuck who it’s with. BILLY HARGROVE (Stranger Things) - Bicurious. Punk. Has only ever messed around with women and refuses to admit that he has an attraction toward men, having buried it deep, deep down. He may as well be straight since it’ll take someone extremely special to let him drag that other side of him out - and even then it’ll almost certainly be a hate-based anger-fueled energy-expelling one-sided relationship. BOAZ PRIESTLEY (Ten Inch Hero) - Mostly straight. Sub sandwich shop employee. Would be down to mess around with the right guy but up to this point has only ever been interested in women. BOB NEWBY (Stranger Things) - Straight. He’s only ever really had feelings for one man before and never really acted on them, if only because he was always so devoted to Joyce. He hasn’t had a crush on a man since then, and doesn’t really have an interest. There’s always the possibility but he, like Priestley, identifies as straight. BOBBY SINGER (Supernatural) - Straight through and through. Monster hunter. The only time he’s ever done something with a man, it wasn’t exactly of his own free will. Has no interest in men and probably never will. BUCK VU (The OA) - Gay primarily. Transmasculine high schooler. With the right girl, he might be attracted to them, but thus far he has only been attracted to men. He doesn’t really like a label though; if anyone asks him who he’s attracted to, his usual response is just a shrug. He goes where life takes him. CAIN (Supernatural) - Aromantic bicurious. Demon. Cain has been interested sexually in women primarily before as well as a few men, but as a rule tries to avoid any sort of romantic involvement, due to the fact that as a demon, it is simply too dangerous for them - his thoughts when he’s trying to reform - or he simply doesn’t want to fall in love due to how it is a weakness - his thoughts during his time as an active demon. CASTIEL (Supernatural) - Panromantic asexual. Angel. He can be attracted to any gender, but mostly just doesn’t care much either way. CECIL PALMER (Welcome To Night Vale) - Gay. Radio host. Has never really been attracted romantically to women, only men, and, well, once he met Carlos, that changed to only one man. (AUs do not count.) CHARLES “HAYWIRE” PATOSHIK (Prison Break) - Bisexual. Mathematician-turned-criminal. Has always fancied men and women; nothing fancy or iffy about it. He just did. CHARLES WESTMORELAND (Prison Break) - Straight. Con artist who got caught and spent thirty years in prison. CHUCK SHURLEY (Supernatural) - Asexual panromantic. Writer/prophet. He has the capacity to fall for any gender - although to date it has only really been women - but is rarely interested in the sexual aspect. CROWLEY (Supernatural) - Panromantic. Demon. Into everyone at all times for all of eternity. DALLAS “DALLY” WINSTON (The Outsiders) - Closeted bisexual. Punk. Is definitely into men but only really shows his interest in women. DAMIAN LAVEY (Monster Prom) - Pansexual. Demon. Will get it on with anyone and anything, no questions asked. But ask him anything about love and he might lose it. He isn’t exactly a ‘romance’ type of guy without a l o t of work. DAVID “DAVY SCOTT (Dinotopia) - Asexual heteroromantic. Sky Rider. He’s more into knowledge and exploring than anything sexual, but he does fall in love pretty easily, mostly with women. DAVID HENDRIX (Gridlocked) - Mostly straight. SWAT. He’s only ever really been with women, but he is willing to admit to himself at least that he might be into men somewhere down the road. He’s met some pretty damn attractive men on the force before, after all. DEAN WINCHESTER (Supernatural) - Straight. Monster hunter. This one is tricky - I see Dean as 110% straight and rarely refuse to waver on it in fandom due to how toxic certain shippers can be. THAT SAID. If you as a roleplayer see some sort of possible romantic future for your guy and Dean, I’m willing to talk through it and make it a possibility. Chemistry is key for me, but until I run into a roleplayer I can get chemistry with Dean for, I play him (and see him in fandom) as completely straight. DEATH (Supernatural) - Aromantic asexual. Death. There is no interest in anything but junk food and the law of death for this guy. DIPPER PINES (Gravity Falls) - Questioning. Aspiring writer and explorer of the mysterious. He’s 12. He doesn’t know what the hell his sexuality is right now and is more concerned with figuring out the mysteries of Gravity Falls. He could swing any which way. DRAKE (Blade: Trinity) - Pansexual. Vampire. He’s all about pleasure. He doesn’t care much where he gets it from as long as he gets it. DUSTFINGER (Inkheart) - Pansexual. Fire dancer. He has the capacity to be interested in men and he was a few times back in the day, but he ended up marrying Roxanne, and he’s definitively monogamous. In AUs / before he was married, however, Dustfinger can swing any which way. He has a lot of love to give, once you crack through his shell. ELEVEN (Doctor Who) - Asexual panromantic. The Doctor. He can and will love anyone of any gender or consenting species, but has no interest in sex. Too much to do, too much to see, too many things that need to be fixed! No time to mess around in bed. He will if his partner can get him to calm down long enough, but it isn’t something he has any interest in. ELI (Xena: Warrior Princess) - Asexual panromantic. Prophet/angel. He loves so many people and has so much love to give, it would kill him not to show it. He’s not overly interested in the sexual aspect of things; if it makes his partner happy, he’ll indulge, but it’s not something he really cares about. Romantic love, however, he has so much of. Romantic, platonic, familial, if you can think of a type of love outside of sexual, he has so so much of it. FERNANDO SUCRE (Prison Break) - Bisexual. Criminal. He’s mostly into women but if the right men come along, he isn’t really picky. Sure, he has a lot of internalised homophobia but he generally buries it. Definitely the type to keep his attraction toward you a secret though so if you want a public relationship, it’s best not to hold your breath with him. GABRIEL (Supernatural) - Pansexual. Archangel. If you’re breathing and capable of consent, much like Jack Harkness, he’s into you. He’s a very simple man with simple pleasures and no discrimination. And unlike the previous muse, he can be VERY public about it. Very much into grandiose shows of affection. GABRIEL GRAY/SYLAR (Heroes) - Pansexual. Watchmaker. Honestly, he has never labeled himself and never will. If you’re pretty, he’s interested, easy as that. GARY KING (The World’s End) - Aromantic pansexual. Professional drunk. Really into having fun and getting pleasure but romance and love both scares him and is something he can’t really commit to. GEORGE SANDS (Being Human) - Bicurious. Hospital porter and werewolf. Mostly into women but also into men if he is willing to admit it to himself. He’s a soft bean who just wants to be loved. IANTO JONES (Torchwood) - Pansexual. Torchwood agent. Nothing special to say here, he’s into anyone regardless of who they are, so long as they have a good heart. He doesn’t lean one way or the other in particular, and he isn’t overly secretive about his sexuality. JACK HARKNESS (Doctor Who/Torchwood) - Pansexual. Torchwood agent and time traveler. Everyone knows Jack. He’s been around the block a few thousand times. All the times in the world, all the places... all the pretty people... JIM HOPPER (Stranger Things) - Straight. Sheriff. He has had feelings for one man before but it was a long time ago and he put it behind him long ago. Feelings for that person might very well rekindle someday, but outside of that person, he identifies as straight. JOHN ABRUZZI (Prison Break) - Straight. Mafia boss. Nothing much to say here, he has no interest in men, never has, probably never will. He’s not beneath pretending to be into men to get something he wants, but outside of that, he has no interest. JOHN BENDER (The Breakfast Club) - Bicurious. Punk. He’s a high schooler (with several young adult verses), and he’s got a pretty big sex drive. He’ll go for whoever shows interest. But like with several other muses, he will never admit to having feelings for men and if anyone dares suggest he does - even other guys he’s messing with - he’ll punch them. JOHN CONSTANTINE (Constantine) - Pansexual. Demonologist. Whoever you are, whatever you look like, whatever species you are, he’ll probably shag you. He’s a hedonist at heart. JOHN HART (Torchwood) - Pansexual. Rogue Time Agent. See above. Absolute hedonist and his pleasure comes first and foremost to anything else in his life. JOHN MITCHELL (Being Human) - Pansexual. Vampire. He doesn’t care much who’s who, beauty is beauty, regardless of what’s in the pants. JONAH CHUCHIP (Boys In The Trees) - Gay. High schooler. He’s into men and most of the other kids at his high school don’t let him hear the end of it/never let him hear the end of it. JOSH CRAYTON (Welcome To Night Vale) - Pansexual. Shapeshifter. He primarily leans toward men but that’s just a preference. Of course, as a shapeshifter, he isn’t necessarily limited to normal humans either. LJ BURROWS (Prison Break) - Mostly straight. High schooler. He has had interest in men before but is mostly interested in women - especially since two or so of the times he has been interested in men, it has been a toxic relationship meant as a means of self-destruction that became something more serious. Can be interested in men, but leans mostly toward females. LUCIFER (Lucifer) - Pansexual. The devil. Need I say more? LUCIFER (Supernatural) - Pansexual. The devil. Same as above. LUKE SEACORD (The Loft) - Bisexual. A professional disaster. Leans more toward women, but has the capacity to be into men. Keeps almost all of his sexual interests and escapades a secret, because he’s got a lot going on. A lot. MAD SWEENEY (American Gods) - Pansexual. Leprechaun. Much like so many of my other muses, he’s a hedonist, and he’ll take pleasure where he can find it. MALCOLM MERLYN (Arrow) - Bisexual. Vigilante/businessman. He has a leaning toward women, but if a man has the proper amount of smarts, power, and skill, he might be willing to look past the similarities in his own gender and theirs to have some fun. MARK COHEN (RENT) - Asexual panromantic. Filmmaker. Mark isn’t really much into sex, but he does fall in love quite easily, and he doesn’t discriminate between genders. OWEN HARPER (Torchwood) - Pansexual. Torchwood agent. He leans more toward women, but he’s not going to turn down a good shag. Pretty people are pretty people. NINE (Doctor Who) - Asexual panromantic. The Doctor. Nine, much like his other incarnations, has too much on his mind to think about or worry about sex. He’ll take part if his partner is into it but otherwise ignores any aspects of a sexual relationship. Romantic, he’s all about. He’s a cheesy sap when it comes to love. RICKY LINDERMAN (My Bodyguard) - Bisexual (more really pansexual but at the time, he only really knew the term ‘bisexual). Mechanic/high schooler (just graduated). Ricky has messed around with both men and women, anyone who would have him. Sometimes it was out of feelings, other times it was out of necessity. Either way, he doesn’t have much of a preference for genders. RUMPLESTILTSKIN/MR. GOLD (Once Upon A Time) - Pansexual. Trickster. He has a leaning toward women but really doesn’t give a fuck. He’s more interested in magick anyway. His family and his magick are all that matter for the most part. RUPERT GILES (Buffy The Vampire Slayer) - Bicurious. Watcher and librarian. Giles is mostly into women, but once or twice - mostly in his youth - he had a few flings with men. He never made a big deal out of them, and rarely brings them up, as it’s been so long. There’s a possibility that he’ll be involved with a man again but mostly he falls for women. SALIM (American Gods) - Gay. Taxi driver. He has been with women before, but more out of feeling he had to and not because he wanted to be. Definitely into men. Bonus points if they’re magickal beings from ancient mythos. SAM WINCHESTER (Supernatural) - Bicurious. Hunter. He’s mostly into women but if the right man came along, he would probably give them a try. SAMUEL SULLIVAN (Heroes) - Aromantic pansexual. Carnie. He’s mostly indifferent to romance and love, but definitely into sexual relations. As far as who with, he’s a carnival leader. He doesn’t exactly have an affinity for being prudish or picky about... well, anything. SCOTT HOWL (Monster Prom) - Pansexual. Werewolf. He is usually too busy thinking about sports or food to consider sex, but he’s definitely not adverse to it. As for who with - it doesn’t matter much to him as long as they’re nice to him. SHADOW MOON (American Gods) - Pansexual. Jack of all trades. He leans more toward women but again, it doesn’t really matter in the long run. Of course, you have to get to him when he’s not head over heels for his wife. SPIKE (Buffy The Vampire Slayer) - Pansexual. Vampire. Spike is an absolute hedonist and can’t and won’t be stopped from having fun with whoever he damn well pleases. STANFORD PINES (Gravity Falls) - Asexual heteroromantic. Author. Doesn’t really have much interest in sex whatsoever, but has occasionally fallen for women - but not many, considering how long he’s been alive. (With the right chemistry, I could play him against a man, but in general, I see him as asexual and borderline aromantic.) STEVE HARRINGTON (Stranger Things) - Bisexual. Babysitter. He’s primarily into women, but much like Billy Hargrove, he’s buried his attraction toward men for the most part and remains strictly closeted. SULLY (Supernatural) - Asexual panromantic. Zanna/imaginary friend. He can fall in love with almost anyone, but mostly, all of his love is familial or platonic. He has never had a romantic partner, and isn’t too desperate for one. (He isn’t aromantic; he just is indifferent to the idea of a partner unless it happens out of the blue.) TEN (Doctor Who) - Asexual panromantic. The Doctor. Much like Nine and Eleven, he has no real interest in sex unless his partner does. Gender and species is not relevant to any of the Doctor’s incarnations, and Ten is no different. THEODORE “T-BAG” BAGWELL (Prison Break) - Pansexual. Criminal. He’s a downright horrible person and any ‘relationship’ he ever enters into is bound to be toxic, since he’s an abusive fuck. But he doesn’t discriminate between gender. TOM MCNAIR (Being Human) - Questioning. Werewolf. He just isn’t sure what his sexuality is and is at the moment just exploring it. TRUCKER (Ten Inch Hero) - Straight. Hippie/sandwich shop owner. He had a few flings with men back in the day, but that was a long time ago and since then he has only ever really been with women. And only ever really been in love with one woman. VERONICA DONOVAN (Prison Break) - Pansexual. Lawyer. She’s mostly closeted to herself and has only been in relationships with men, but she has always found women attractive, and wishes she had enough guts to admit it to... well, anyone. Especially the women she likes.

#headcanons #here's the list finally!!! aaaaa #i didn't end up bolding the queer men bc.........most of them are queer oops #sorryyyy

8 notes · View notes

trickstarbrave · 4 years

Text

I see some of my old posts abt this getting likes still so I did feel the need for whatever reason to post an update or rather restatement to my views on the topic

I know this is a horribly tired topic that was discoursed to hell and then left behind and for good reason so as a warning: ace discourse below

First and foremost I’m not in the business of telling ppl wholesale they don’t belong in the community. The vast majority of ace ppl are also other various lgbt identies and trying to “remove” people from the community is not a thing I’d ever advocate for nor have I really ever as far as I can remember. If I have in bad faith I would like to extend an apology bc I have bad memories problems and think those actions are wrong and harmful. If the consensus is ace ppl are lgbt then I’m not here to say everyone else is wrong and I’m the authority on lgbt identities. We are a coalition group, a mashing of communities w sometimes shared histories and experiences. Even if I think ace and aro ppl don’t have as many of those in common I don’t get to decide if they are or not. They are now and I’m more focused on making that work

Still though since it’s inception the ace community has not been a very healthy one. As at best a newer addition to the lgbt community being brought to light and given a label and community, the community has been toxic. Much of the foundational moments for identity were from the AVEN forums and a lot of harmful misogynistic, transphobic, homophobic, and ableist things were said on their and supported. This kind of behavior has continued well into the community even today.

This is not a moral judgment on asexuals or aromamtics. I’m aromantic. I was also subjected to these things. I always felt alienated from the community. Even when trying to engage behavior was half the time welcoming and understanding and half the time felt very hostile. I point this out because again: many asexuals and aromantics are other lgbt identies and this rhetoric is very harmful. It’s alienating. It makes you feel guiltier at times. Furthermore at times the community pressured ppl who did not have absolutely any desire for sex in any capacity to be okay with it, as though they were on the same level as people who liked and enjoyed sexual acts removed from sexual attraction to people. Sometimes it encouraged harassing people for saying having sex was a vital part of relationships for them and they felt incompatable with someone who was repulsed by sex and didn’t feel abstaining for a hypothetical ace partner would be healthy for either of them. Even more alarming was qpp’s, really originating from the aro community, spreading and simply being a tool for a while in many circles to coerce people into relationships who otherwise wouldn’t be okay with polyamory or were underaged. I’ve seen so much harm and been subjecting to it that I did have to (and still want to but avoid it for stress reasons) point this out. Even more alarming was during the discourse era seeing big name ace bloggers with large underaged followings bring on self admitted pedophiles to their blogs, and refusing to apologize when said pedophile admitted to sexually harassing minors. Lies were spread to demonize lesbians especially, and to a degree gay men as well, including that we steal funding we don’t need

As well (currently) the lgbt community hasn’t had the best resources to provide a good environment for ace and aro issues, and the ace community has not made it a priority in many spheres to curate those spaces either. As an aro sexual abuse victim there were many times I didn’t want to see public displays of affection or hear abt sexuality of any kind at times (despite not being ace) and I knew asking for those to cease in lgbt spaces would be harmful and come across as bigoted. Lgbt spaces are places to express your comfort in your identity and your relationships in the way cishet ppl can whenever they want to in society. Seeking out spaces without that just meant retreating and being alone. A curated space for aro and ace ppl would have removed tension I know many people have had and still do experience by providing refuge for sex and romance repulsed ace and aro ppl

I felt more boundaries would be beneficial, as while trans people are no doubt a part of the lgbt community (regardless of how many trabsphobes say we don’t belong), trans specific areas and communities still exist. Trans spaces where trans experiences are centered are a priority. The ace community regardless needs better spaces for ace people besides social media and Internet forums. It needs structure and accountability. It needs to unlearn harmful practices and bigotry that have run rampant for their own members’ sake, not for the sake of outside people to see validity in it.

And for a while, people who were otherwise cisgendered, heteroromantic and asexual would speak out in lgbt spaces about trans and gay issues because this is the “same community”. Cis gay men have no authority on lesbian, bi, or trans issues. Cis lesbians have no authority on gay men’s, bi, or trans issues. Cis heterosexual trans ppl shouldn’t talk abt lgbp issues w authority. Cishet ace and aro ppl shouldn’t talk those either. A lot of the hostility and early discourse was abt that, about those bloggers who very quickly left the discussions and website entirely in some cases, speaking about issues that shouldn’t concern them. About homophobia and how it should be treated or tolerated, using slurs they had no right using, and more. Even more alienating was ppl saying a character was ace rather than gay, and when pointed out they could be both it resulted in backlash as trying to take away ace representation, and then real human survivors of sexual abuse who were dead were framed as ace icons and ace representation while framing their discussions of their reactions to sexual abuse as “the ace experience”. Lies spread that ace conversion therapy was a thing and that doctors were going to hold you down and feed you medicine to make you want to have sex, terrifying many young bloggers on this website who genuinely believed and lived in fear of this happening until they were told it was misinformation and lies.

(Yes you can be sexually assaulted for being ace, yes victims of sexual abuse can as a result ID as ace or aro, that’s not what I’m arguing against in case somehow someone finds a way )

But from the other side I’ve seen and spoken out against people who just said bigoted things. Claiming there were too many gender and sexuality identities. I think the split attraction model is limited to ace and aro ppl to explain our identities more coherently and misapplying it to others only servers in the end to stigmatize various sexualities, but this went beyond that. For many people “grey” and “demi” modifiers are useful. I’m grey aro. My romantic feelings are complicated and inconsistent enough I think it’s not average. Sure to a degree “anyone” could be demi or aro and many ppl in the ace community have misattributed those modified identities to ppl who didn’t even fully explore how they felt, but they are not worthless. I can count to you how many times I’ve felt genuine romantic attraction, and I do not fully understand the intricacies of romantic attraction, nor the differences at time between platonic feelings in practice. I was mocked for my identity several times and saw people with identities like mine mocked. This was not a discussion of it these identities were harmful like claiming disassociating during sex was a normal sexual identity. At worst they are unnecessary.

I’ve been always more invested abt having a better community for ace and aro ppl bc that’s what I ultimately wanted. No, they didn’t have the messy intertwined history of other lgbt identities but also they didn’t have to be. Lgbt or not there wasn’t a space for ace and aro ppl I thought was really healthy. It was either they existed there in a group with other people with their issues being talked about or not at all. Ace pride colors were based on the at times toxic forum website AVEN. The aro community was often overlooked by ace ppl or at times actively thrown under the bus.

And lies and misinformation was still spread. Pieces of history incoherently being co-opted and misappropriated to seem legitimate. And to top it all off ace and aro specific oppression was incoherently discussed to. How different forms of oppression work together and often feed into each other or take new shapes was ignored. Studies were extremely limited in scope, loaded, and mostly inconclusive. Facets of misogyny and even homophobia were framed as ace exclusive and unique experiences, and people lied about real life discrimination for being ace (usually these were young people like the 15 y/o who claimed to have two gay dads who kicked her out for being ace, so I won’t dwell on those as much. Tumblr has been a weird website). Discussions of race especially were riddled w terrible behavior from white ace bloggers who resorted to lying, shaming, and guilt tripping. All this only serves to fan the flames and drive a wedge between communities even tho inclusionists claimed it was all evil exclusionists doing while refusing to call out the misinformation and bigotry they often spread. There was no purpose in harassing bloggers of color, no purpose in terrifying children so they lived in fear of medical professionals and most ppl, and no excuse.

Hopefully moving on from this it will truly die away, but I hope people learn from it. This wasn’t just as some ppl frame it cis gay and lesbian bloggers starting a harassment campaign to try and kick aces out on a large scale. This was a messy discussion that was years brewing until it exploded in even more vitriol, misinformation, and rage. It became an opportunity to critique an (albeit in comparison young) community for harmful behavior that was going unchecked and lead to even further bigotry, misinformation, and alienation. And the bigotry and misinformation didn’t serve a purpose and little understanding of what ace and aro people needed besides information and education to the public, which was already taking place before this, was had. And ultimately I expected more from the community at large.

To ace and aro followers and readers: I’ve seen some ugly parts of the community but I don’t necessarily demand you answer for that behavior, unless you’re personally guilt of it. I don’t say this because I have a mission to prove you’re bad. I think the community is toxic, but it will ultimately not get better unless ppl who are dedicated to it are willing to help find what resources ppl need, provide it, and refuse to encourage or call out shitty behavior. And ultimately that will come from a place of love and desire to create an environment future generations will feel welcomed in. I just don’t want other ace and aro kids being lied to about what they’ll experience, subjected to homophobia and transphobia of many colors, and at times groomed by adults. And I don’t want it based around just social media where anyone can lie abt credentials and act like an expert to further any of those horrible goals, even unintentionally

0 notes

what-if-rpg · 4 years

Photo

Welcome to the family, KIM! Your application to DAEJUNG KENNISH (FC: Kim Namjoon) was accepted. I am really happy to have you around! Make sure to read the beginners checklist, and remember, have fun! I can’t wait to roleplay with you! Have fun!

IN CHARACTER

CHARACTER NAME: Daejung (Dae) Michael Kennish CHARACTER AGE & DATE OF BIRTH: 25 ~ February 12, 1995 OCCUPATION: ASL interpreter and teacher FACE CLAIM: Kim Namjoon HOMETOWN & CITY WHERE LIVES NOW: Born in Seoul, South Korea ~ currently in Brooklyn, New York SEXUAL ORIENTATION & GENDER: Panromantic Asexual ~ Male RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single POSITIVE TRAITS: Kindhearted, empathetic, & optimistic NEGATIVE TRAITS: Gullible, trusting, & insecure CHARACTER QUOTE/LYRIC: “What is done in love is done well.” ~ Van Gogh

HEADCANONS

Daejung was born in Seoul, South Korea in February of 1995, though his time spent there was not long lived. He was adopted by Lily and Michael Kennish just before he turned 2 years old. The Kennishes always dreamed of having a child, but due to a medical condition doctors had told Lily a pregnancy would probably not be possible. The couple chose to adopt, which lead them to fly to Seoul to get Dae. They kept his first given birth name, but added a middle name after his father. Dae was brought back home to Pennsylvania where he was raised, before Dae’s dad would receive a job offer in New York years later. He had a wonderful childhood there, many memories made there.

When Dae was 11, the Kennishes had experienced a miracle. Despite what they were once told, Lily became pregnant with a baby girl. Dae was excited to become a big brother, since he had been an only child for quite a few years. Daisy was born healthy, however it was realized that she was Deaf. Lily’s sister, Rosalie, was also Deaf, so it did run in the family. Lily took it upon herself to teach her boys, both her husband and son, all she knew in ASL in order to be able to communicate with Daisy the most efficiently. Dae knew from a young age he wanted to become an interpreter, so he could help people like his little sister.

When Dae got to college, he studied further into the language so he would be able to interpret. He also received teaching certification, that way he would also be able to help Deaf children who needed to learn to sign. He currently works in the school system, performing these duties as needed. Dae never questions his fate of being adopted, because with his family he has what he feels is his true calling in life.

Dae first came out as pan when he was in high school, when he discovered that his attraction was in people regardless of their gender identity. He would later learn that he is also asexual, never experiencing the urge to take relationships to a physical level. He is a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community and gives back to it in any way that he can.

Dae suffers from chronic migraines, from when he was about 13 years old. He was tested for many different medical conditions when he was continuously becoming ill from the headaches, but it was found to be a chronic illness. He takes medication for this and manages it to the best of his abilities.

Daejung has a (unhealthy) obsession with plants. He hoards many in his apartment, finding much joy out of caring for them and talking to them.

CONNECTIONS

PARENTS: Lily and Michael Kennish ~ Daejung has a strong relationship with his parents, and always has. Even though he was adopted, his parents have given him unconditional love and support throughout his life. They have shown him all of this through when he’s come out to them and every other situation life has given then family. He considers his parents his role models, aspiring to be just like them. They also live close enough to have family dinner together each week. SIBLINGS/OTHER IMPORTANT FAMILY: Daisy Kennish (sister) ~ Daisy is Dae’s best friend and inspiration. He absolutely thinks the world of his little sister, and even studied to become an ASL interpreter and teacher because of her. Daisy was born Deaf, which would lead Dae to dedicating his time to learning her language and turning it into a career. There is a bit of an age gap in between the siblings, but they have the most fun when they are together. They also have a bond strong enough where they both trust each other with everything and anything. Daisy spends many weekends staying with Dae in his apartment, where they watch anime and eat takeout together. BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: TBA CLOSE FRIEND: TBA OTHER: TBA

#Daejung Kennish #Kim Namjoon #Glee RP #Glee RPG #RP #RPG #Accepted

0 notes

desmondbeaumont-blog · 7 years

Text

headcanons: an assortment

tw: rape mention and talking about sexuality

appearance

des likes to claim he has perfect vision when in reality he is a glasses wearer. when he was younger, the other kids would pick on him and call him four eyes, so he jumped at the chance when his doctor prescribed him contacts. glasses are considered stylish nowadays, but he still only wears them in bed or when his contacts irritate his eyes.

quirks

des is extremely ticklish, and hates to be tickled. here are des’ thoughts about it: “Jude would never get him to admit his greatness weakness. He would never find out that Des was basically ticklish on every inch of his body, and once he felt that nerve-wracking anticipation of potential tickling, the lightest touch would set him off. He learned from experience to keep this information to himself, because whenever someone found that out, they took great pleasure in holding him against his will while they slowly killed him. There was nothing worse than being both trapped and tickled at the same time.”

five interesting facts from bio

he was the captain of the football team in sixth form, until the incident, and now plays for the durham team. he has never had a real relationship, because he has trouble keeping his focus on one person. while, he has numerous good friends, he does have one best friend named alfie, who he keeps in touch with regularly. his favorite childhood film was lion king, which made him desperately want a pet lion, but he settled for a golden retriever named mufasa instead. his secret talent is his ability to sing. although, he loves to show off, he could never sing in front of other people, which is why he decided not to do drama in university.

sexuality

des’ isn’t extremely educated on gender or sexuality, but he tries to take the time to learn. he identifies as pansexual, because he is attracted to people, regardless of identity. however, des doesn’t really know about other orientations like demisexual, asexual, etc. des is actually panromantic and demisexual. back in college, he would engage in physical relationships, because he thought that was what he was supposed to do, but he never really got what the big deal was. since he hasn’t been in a real relationship before, he hasn’t experienced what real sexual desire feels like yet. also, he hasn’t been interested in romance due to trauma.

the incident (rape tw)

as mentioned in his best friend’s post, his best mate, alfie, has a childhood friend named finn carran. finn has always hated des, because he believed he was trying to take alfie away from him, and des always made it very clear that he thought he was a bad influence. although des doesn’t know it, the strange hands he keeps feeling in his nightmares belong to finn. the night of the party finn slipped something in des’ drink and cornered him behind the bleachers.

powers

after getting a hold of the locket, des has ability to feel light waves. now, he can extend and brighten his light, plus create different colors. he’s still practicing, but in the future, he will be able to produce lasers and potentially use x-ray vision. des’ ability relies greatly on his emotions. light is his power, because he tries so hard to be a positive presence in his friends’ life. he’s able to produce light, because, as far as des knows, he’s usually happy. however, when he eventually figures out what happened, i imagine he’ll have trouble manipulating light for a while.

#in which i completely forgot i said des can sing? what?#hc #about #why did i make this so dark #why do i ruin everything lol

3 notes · View notes